#i mean 'i'm a mummy' is literally right there'

[hanniebaeee]

Crazy for you - Part 1

Hyunjin x fem!reader

Warning: swearing, drinking, kissing, some touching MDNI

Genre: enemies to lovers, fluff, angst

Summary: You and your best friend's cousin, Hyunjin don't get along very well. This game of cat and mouse may be a disguise to hide your real feelings.

a/n: Everyone in the story is so petty! I wrote this ages ago, partly based on a dream I had😅 It's silly, but here you go 🤝 (also this series will have smut in the future, just letting you know.)

Part 2 , Part 3

You sigh impatiently, trying your best not to cry. The day couldn't get any more worse. All you could think of was the anger and hate on his mother's face. Her harsh words were like daggers to your chest. And on top of that, you were smashed against him right now, your bodies pressed together way too much for your liking.

'Jennie!! Make it FASTER!' You said to your best friend who was driving.

'I'm going as fast as I can, Y/N' Jennie said apologetically. 'Just hang on.'

'She's hanging on alright' Hyunjin said sarcastically,  and your blood boiled at that.

Hwang Hyunjin, your arch nemesis, was Jennie's cousin. You all were part of the same friends group since childhood and so, you were willingly or not, always around each other.

'It's not like I have a choice now, do I?!' You spat,  putting a hand against his chest and pushing him away.

'I'm sorry sweetheart, there's not use pushing me.' Hyunjin said, glancing behind him.

Jeongin, Jisung and Minho lay drunk and asleep, all crammed together at the back of Jennie's car along with you and Hyunjin. Jennie's boyfriend Changbin was asleep in the passenger seat beside Jennie.

'It was so indecent of your mum to talk like that, Jinnie. And you didn't have anything to say?' Jennie asked, addressing the elephant in the room. 'When did Y/N ever try to seduce you? I mean you're at each other's throats ALL THE FUCKING TIME!'

'You think my mom would stop if I say so?' Hyunjin asked with a scoff. 'She's crazy. She would just insult her more.'

'She humiliated my best friend in front if everyone.' Jennie said. 'That's not OK'

You sigh again, turning your face away from Hyunjin. His mother hated you for some reason. You felt that most of it had to do with the fact that you weren't Korean and she was afraid of what people might say if he brought home a foreigner. And part of it was because she knew that there were things you both were hiding.

'Well, it can't be completely wrong. Mum must have seen something.' Hyunjin said teasingly.

'Hyunjin, you're on my LAST fucking nerve. Better stop right there.' You warn him, blinking fast to keep your tears from falling.

'Or what?' Hyunjin asked, moving closer just to piss you off.

He was so close, your chests were literally pressed together. Your hand was on his chest again, putting a gap between you two. You give him your best death glare and pinch his tummy so hard that Hyunjin screamed in pain.

'What the fuck?!' Jennie yelled as Changbin woke up with a start and stuffed his fingers into his ears.

'She pinched me!' Hyunjin said in shock. 'Oh God it hurts!'

'Serves you right for being an asshole, Hyunjin.' Jennie said, shaking her head.

You glare at him with tear filled eyes.

'I don't know if you are really that drunk or not, but YOU are the one who can't keep your hands to yourself, Hyunjin. Not the other way around. Tell your mummy that when both of you are in your right minds.' you hiss.

Hyunjin just smirked, biting his lip sensually.

'I love it when your so feisty.' he whispered, his hand slipping down to your thigh, and moving up under your dress. You grip at his hand to stop him.

'Please!!' You sob softly, the tears finally falling. Hyunjin moves his hand away quickly, a look of guilt and sadness clouding his handsome face.

'Y/N' he says, his hand coming up to your face, but you turn away. 'I was only joking.'

Jennie hit the brakes.

'What the fuck, Hyunjin?! Leave her alone!' she shrieks. 'It'll be easier to watch babies, I swear!'

'Let me out! I'd rather walk than sit here with your brother!' You yell, voice shaking.

Hyunjin just sighed and sat back, sulking. He didn't want you to leave. He quite liked being stuck to you. Jennie banged her hand on the steering wheel in frustration and said, 'Binnie, get your ass back there!  Come on to the front, Y/N.'

'Ew, no way! He's covered in puke!' Hyunjin whined. Which was why no one wanted to sit with him.

'Not my fucking problem, Hyunjin. Another word from you and I'm done' Jennie warned.

After exchanging seats, the remaining ride home was in silence. Hyunjin's eyes were fixed on you and his heart sank, watching you wipe the tears from the corners of your eyes.

He genuinely felt bad for what his mother had said. And he did confront her away from the crowd. He knew that his mother went out of her way to separate the two of you right from when you were at school. You never did anything to seduce him. Knowing his mother's dislike for you, you had always kept away from him. It was the hardest thing for Hyunjin. He loved you even without any kind of effort from your side.

The tension existing between you two wasn't a secret. Everyone knew that this wasn't just some stupid rivalry. There was so much more going on. But no one said anything because some things are better left alone.

You reached the apartment building and the boys helped their drunk friends to their feet. As Jennie went on to park the car, Hyunjin caught hold of your hand, as you tried to slip away.

'Look. I'm sorry for what mum said. I didn't pick a fight only because she can be real pain. I didn't want to provoke her, Y/N. She would've just insulted you more.' Hyunjin said. 'I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you.'

'It's alright.' You said with a nod. 'I know.'

Hyunjin nodded and watched you leave in silence.

You and Jennie shared an apartment and the boys, another, on two different floors. But you always met for your meals, mostly at the boys' apartment. The next morning, when you woke up, Jennie had already gone to Hyunjin's to cook breakfast.

After a quick shower, you joined her. As you passed Hyunjin's room, you saw the door was open, and he was sprawled on his bed in his pyjamas, still asleep. His shirt was pushed up, exposing his tummy. A purplish bruise had formed where you had pinched him the other day. You didn't mean to do it so hard, and now felt bad about it.

After watching him snore softly for a moment, looking so innocent and angelic, you walk away. You enter the kitchen to find Jennie pouring coffee into mugs.

'Can you please take this to Jinnie and wake him up?' Jennie asked as she returned to cooking. The bacon that she was frying looked way too burnt at this point.

'Not a good idea. Not this early in the morning' You said, shaking your head no and nibbling on a piece of the burnt bacon.

'Please sweetheart.' Jennie said pouting, and you sigh.

'I know what you are doing Jennie Kim.' You said in a sing song manner.

Jennie just gives you an innocent look as you pick up the mug and walk to Hyunjin's room. Placing it on his bedside table, you touch his arm to wake him up.

'Hey.' You call softly. 'Wake up, Hyunjinnie!'

You pause as you cringe at the way you said that. But he opened his eyes slowly and seeing you, he sat up, smiling.

'Am I dreaming?' he asked, his voice hoarse from sleep.

'Ok. Come on, up.' You said, trying to distract yourself from the way he is looking at you. 'Jennie asked me to wake you up.'

He nods with a sigh, taking the mug in his hands. You begin to walk out when he stops you.

'Are we good, Y/N? ' he asked.

You turn to look at him with a frown, but end up nodding quickly and escaping the room and his puppy eyes.

Jeongin, Minho and Jisung were awake and terribly hungover. Jennie shot them all looks of disgust as she brought breakfast to the table.

'Stop looking at me like that!' Minho whined. 'People make mistakes sometimes!!'

'Lino, you puked all night, do you remember?' Jennie asked, with her arms on her hips.

'Of course I know, I'm the one who nearly puked my intestines out!' Minho said, resting his head on his hand. 'I'm sorry!'

Jennie sighed and said, 'Innie?'

'To both my noonas, I'm really sorry I got carried away!' he said raising his hands in surrender. 'Sorry!'

'I'm not even starting with you Hannie.' Jennie said. You giggle, loving how Jennie managed to make three men shiver under her glare. Jisung pouted, sipping on his lemon tea.

'And Hyunjin.' Jennie said sarcastically. 'You don't even have to be drunk to be a pain in the ass.'

He grinned showcasing all his teeth, his eyes two crescent moons.

'i try my best.' He said, winking at you, and you roll your eyes at him.

'Honestly, Jinnie, if you can't keep you hands to yourself, why don't you just ask her out?!' Jennie snapped at her cousin.

'Jennie!!' You hiss, poking her on the rib.

'I'm sick of you both always bickering like some old married couple! it's so damn annoying!' Jennie said. 'Just give each other a chance at least!'

'It won't work!' You said, shaking your head. 'Jennie, stop.'

Jennie knew of your feelings for Hyunjin and she really wished that you would just get together, since she knew her cousin felt the same.

'I want you both to try.' Jennie said. 'I'm tried of seeing you both eye fucking each other every time you're in the same room. It's disgusting.'

'I don't deny it.' Hyunjin said confidently.

'Oh my God!' You cry. 'Why is your family set on humiliating me all the fucking time!?'

'You're my best friend and he's my brother. I need you both to get along. I'm so sick of your constant disagreements. I want you to try dating. It could seriously work out.' Jennie pressed on.

'I agree with Jennie Noona' Jeongin said.

'You guys can always stop if you want.' Jisung offered, while Minho was too hungover to make a meaningful comment.

'Hyunjin.' You plead.

'I'm ready if she's ready.' Hyunjin said with a shrug.

Jennie grinned, knowing her cousin's deep dark desires. She turned to you with hopeful eyes.

'Your mother is going to throw a fit about it.' You warned Hyunjin. 'You know that! She'll never allow it!'

'Who cares about what his mom thinks?' Jennie dismissed the idea with a wave of her hand. 'We know that you both like each other. This is about you. Not us or anyone else.'

'I decide what I do with my life, Y/N. Not mum.' Hyunjin said, seriously. 'You don't have to worry about her.'

'You can say no, you know.' Jennie challenged you, with a smug look. 'No one's stopping you.'

You shrivel at her words. Of course, no one was going to stop you if you say no and walk out. But this is what you really wanted. You've wanted Hyunjin all your life. You were crazy in love, to say the least. You could say no. But you didn't want to. Hyunjin just looks at you, bottom lip between his teeth and it felt like he was holding his breath.

'Ok.' You said. 'Ok, I will give it a try. But if he puts one toe out of line, -'

'I won't' Hyunjin said, quickly. 'I really won't.'

Knowing his ways, you weren't so sure. But you still nod.

'I'm so happy!' Jennie said clapping. 'Finally. I've waited for this day for so long!'

'Congrats Hyunjinnie and Y/N noona!' Jeongin said giving you both a cute smile.

'Let's not make this more awkward now.' Minho said. 'Let them be.'

You give Minho a grateful look before your eyes fall on Hyunjin. He sat with his eyes on you, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. The rest of them went on doing their own things leaving you two alone in the room.

'So, girlfriend.' Hyunjin said, teasingly. 'Come here and gimme a kiss.'

You shoot him a glare, making him laugh.

A month later:

It was movie night at the boys' apartment. Changbin and Jennie shared a couch, and you and Hyunjin shared another. The rest of them had put sleeping bags on the floor and they were all settled to watch the movie.

Hyunjin had draped a blanket over you both. It has been more than a month since Jennie pronounced you a couple, but you were still a bit awkward with it. It made you so sad that even though you held hands and cuddled and went out on dates, none of it felt real. Hyunjin didn't irritate you like he usually did. But that was all.

Hyunjin, who was usually a very confident person, felt like everything was out of his control. He had wanted this for so long, but now that it was actually happening, he was scared. He didn't want to lose you in any way. You were so perfect in his eyes, he felt that he wasn't enough. He felt this was why you never really told him anything important or even look at him with affection.

The movie was going pretty well, until some steamy scenes came by. You feel Hyunjin's fingers intertwine with yours and he slowly brought them up to his lips. You blush at his sudden display of affection.

Hyunjin moved closer, his hands around your waist, pulling you closer to him. Your heart raced and you throw a quick glance at Jennie's way. She and Changbin were huddled together, whereas the others were already asleep.

'Jinn-'

Hyunjin's lips were hot against your own. You feel butterflies in you stomach as he tilted his head slightly for better angle. Your lips moved together in synch and his free hand slipped under your night shirt, cupping your breast over your bra. Your grip on his arm tightened as he squeezed gently.

His lips trailed down your neck, pressing soft warm kisses on their way. You close your eyes, engrossed in the feeling. But your eyes snapped open when Jeongin's raspy voice called out your name.

Hyunjin stopped and sat still. You turn to look at Jeongin who had his eyes still closed.

'Can you please get me some water?' he mumbled sleepily and you sigh in relief.

Hyunjin is up on his feet, taking your hand and walking towards the kitchen. Pulling you into his arms again, he kissed you, this time more demanding than before. You pull back to breathe and he watched like a predator looking at his prey. He stepped closer and kissed you again. His hands wandered, over your chest and sides, before cupping your butt through your shorts. He pulled you as close as he could.

You were shocked and you gasped as you felt him against you. You gently put a hand to his chest, to stop him. Shaking your head, you try to step away. Hyunjin looks at you, but not that lovesick look he gave you a few minutes ago. You heart thudded on heavily as you remembered the last time you had seen this look of utter heartbreak on his face.

This wasn't your first time with Hyunjin. The last time it happened,you were at one of Kim Mingyu's famous parties, back in highschool. You were all drunk (for the first time in your case) and Hyunjin was all touchy (what's new?). He had dragged you to one of the bathrooms where you got into a very heated make out session.

You were terrified and it was your very first time letting a boy touch you like that. You had pushed him away, even though you have loved it. He had looked just as heartbroken back then. Being rejected by the love of his life hurt like hell.

You never spoke of it, and somehow all the frustration of never being able to go back to that moment and being too awkward to try it again led to your constant battles. You're both quiet, each reliving the memory.

'Do you not enjoy it?' Hyunjin asked, trying to remain calm.

You are surprised by this question.

'What sort of a question is that?!' You ask, giving him a glare.

'Why do you always push me away? Are you really not interested?' He asks, and you just stare at him in silence. 'Is sex a problem?'

'Hyunjin, are you really that stupid?' you ask, trying to understand what he's saying.

'Is that why you haven't been with anyone all these years?' He asks, folding his arms against his chest.

'How does that concern you?' You retort, embarrassment hitting you hard.

Hyunjin laughs and says, 'Thanks to my sister you have me.'

'I can get any guy I want on my own Hwang Hyunjin! I don't need you or your sister for that!  It's my choice if I see people or not!' you said furiously. 'I don't like to fuck around for fun like you do!'

Hyunjin scoffed.

'Why do you ruin everything, Hyunjin?' You ask. 'That was a good moment we had.'

'Was it?' Hyunjin asked, shaking his head. 'You were dying to push me away.'

'You know what, fuck you!' You said, making your way out.

'I dare you to find someone who's actually interested in you!' Hyunjin said suddenly.

You turn to look at him, the hurt clear on your face.

'YOU are breaking up with me?' You ask, raising your eyebrows.

'I never said that.' Hyunjin said, a pang of guilt (and fear) hitting him.

'Well, good. Because I am breaking up with you.' You said, a single tear escaping your eye before you left the room.

Hyunjin stood watching you leave. He knew he had said too much. He had provoked you, though he promised that he wouldn't. But he was really hoping to take things forward. Your rejection had just hit him in the wrong way.

You tossed the bottle to Jeongin on your way out of the apartment. Tears ran freely down your cheeks and you couldn't hold back your sobs anymore.

It was too good to be true, you thought.

[midnight-mourning]

DCA Promptober Day 31: Trick or Treat

Last one! Took a little extra time but we finally made it! Hope you enjoy, this is a fun little something something for the Confused Spirit fans in the audience

Additionally, if you have not read Confused Spirit, many of these characters will have no value to you I'm guessing, so, sorry about that. There's also some slight, implied spoilers for the fic as well. That being said, hope you enjoy!

Word count: 6392

Content warning: mentions of blood, injury, and death, reader descretion is advised

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

It's Halloween at the Plex, and you're, well you're not sure how to feel about it. You had to work, meaning your sister and brother are currently out trick or treating with Clara instead of you, which is a bit frustrating. Not to mention, you'd gotten all dressed up and had nowhere to go until you got off in an hour or so. 

You think a mandated Halloween party, on top of having to work on a project, wasn't a great combination, but with the glare Sarah had sent in the meeting last week to you and the other division heads, you didn't have much a choice. Have to set a good example and all that. 

At the very least, you weren't the only one dressed up, so you didn't look as ridiculous sitting hunched over a desk covered in green paint and fake stitches.

Your team all had various costumes on, differing in degrees of effort and style. Pete went classic vampire, Jesse was a mummy, and Tyler was a zombie. Liv was rocking a great Mia Wallace costume, and Savannah had on a witch hat but really went for it with her makeup look. 

Currently, as both a way to kill time and to potentially fix the problem you'd been having, you were all trying your best to fix the issues going on with Fazerblast.

Specifically, something had been messing with both the electric and the mechanical components of the entire attraction. While Lizzy and their team worked to determine what had been causing the random power outages, your goal was attempting to fix the malfunctioning laser guns and rogue staff bots. 

You'd tried to tell both Sarah and Rachel that the place really needed shut down for a few days to actually work on it, but no luck. Seems they wanted it open for Halloween, regardless of how bad an idea you thought that was. 

When your code crashes again you groan, tempted to run a hand across your face before you remember the paint.

"Frankenstein's monster was a good choice for you. You really sell it," Pete quips, sipping on a blood red slushy in one hand, still typing with the other.

You turn to him, eyes narrow, "Remind me why I'm helping you with coding again? When I could be doing literally anything else?"

"Gives him an ego boost," Jesse answers from across the room, "No offense."

You scoff, turning to the coworker across from you, "Figured as much. Savannah, any word from the company that sold us the trigger pins?"

"Not yet," She sighs, puffing out her cheeks, "But I keep checking the reviews and nobody else has had the same issues we've had here. They shouldn't be freaking out like this."

"Figured that much, too. Liv?"

She looks up and over to you, tired, dead stare on her face as she holds up the phone, "Still on hold. I'm guessing corporate left early for the day and couldn't be bothered to let everyone know."

You grimace, and check the time. It's after six now, the party starts at 6:30. That's more than enough for you at this point.

"Right. You know what, we're done here. Pack it up, we can grab food before the party because I know Sarah's going to be stingy about it."

With muted, half-defeated cheer, your team closes out of their computers and shuffles to the door. Besides Tyler, he's in a great mood still, but you expected as much. 

As you're grabbing your jacket and turning out the lights, you swear you see something out of the corner of your eye by your computer. Something purple. When you turn, you find that your computer is on again, login screen staring at you. 

"You coming?" Savannah calls from halfway down the hall.

You turn to yell back, "Yeah, give me a sec, just hold the elevator."

Slowly, you walk back over to your computer, giving it a once over. It looks fine, just turned on. You take hold of the mouse, and hover it over the shut off button again. As you click it, the screen freaks out, glitching before turning black. At the same time, a shock goes up your arm and you yelp, purple flashing across your vision. 

Dazed, you shake your head, and clutching your arm, make your way out of the office and to the elevator. 

You shuffle in, and as the doors close Jesse leans over and mutters to you above the chattering of your team.

"You alright?"

You nod, "Yeah, just, a little tired I guess." Your head feels funny, but otherwise you're fine. You think.

"What'd you do to your hand?" He asks, looking to how you're still holding it.

You let it go, shaking it off and letting it fall to your side, "Stoved it on my way out. I'll live."

He nods and you continue your ascent. But you can't shake the feeling that something's wrong. Your arm twitches and at the same time your vision becomes glazed over in a purple hue. You shake your head, and it's gone again. 

The upper levels are filled with activity. Kids rush from place to place, already tired parents in tow. The words 'trick or treat!' are echoed everywhere as children go from the different tables and booths set up for the holiday. 

If Lisa knew this was going on she'd have a fit that she was out going house to house instead of being here. But asking Clara to watch her in this chaos would have been cruel, and so, the less your sister knew, the better. Besides, Gabe deserved an authentic trick or treating experience as opposed to getting themed-corporate garbage in his candy bucket. For one of his first times at least.

As you pass by the Daycare, seeing many children playing in costumes and such, you see the doors are propped open, and Sun is handing out candy to a long line of trick or treaters.  

"Damn Pete, the Daycare Attendant really outshone you huh?" Savannah elbows him and nods to the animatronic's costume. 

Sun is also a vampire, with a large black cloak, and white shirt. His pants are somehow all black, and the change of shoes is also a surprise. Two lines of red streak down from his smile, which is still as friendly as ever otherwise.

Pete huffs, "It's literally the same costume, besides he doesn't even have fangs!"

You all start walking again, laughing. 

"True, but he wore it better, even without fangs."

The comment causes Pete to start arguing with the speaker, which to the surprise of no one at all, was Jesse.

You keep your gaze on Sun a few moments more, head feeling a bit clearer for just a moment. He glances up suddenly, and waves to you, head tilting just slightly. Surprised, you also wave.

There's a buzz in your pocket. As you start to walk away again you check it. 

'Your costume is nice.'

You wait for another message, you don't get one.

'Thanks???' You're confused. 

'Something wrong?'

'I just would have expected you to say something snarky at this point. Genuine compliments aren't your style'

You narrowly dodge an eager trick or treater running by you, nodding at their parent as they apologize. 

'It's Halloween. I'm in a good mood, don't sour it for me'

You scoff, 'There it is. I don't plan to, though it's tempting to have Clara swing by with the kids just for the fun of it'

From there, your normal bickering comes forth, and you continue it both as you head to the party and while at it. It's a bit busier than you expected, more employees than you expected are there mingling about the dancefloor.

The entire west arcade, like the rest of the Plex, is done up with decorations that set the mood. There's even a fog machine, adding to the spooky but cheerful atmosphere.

You still feel pretty funny though, and thus take the time to go 'cool off' out in the hall for a bit. 

It grows worse and you have to lean back against the wall. Head throbbing as you try to drink more punch in the hopes that will solve it. Your vision flashes again, purple, and suddenly you're not in the same location anymore. 

It's dark, and you're standing over someone. You can't see their face, it's covered with static. They're crying, hands up in surrender. You feel yourself chuckle, but it's not your voice, your tone is off. It's gravely. Not your own. 

Suddenly, out of your control, your hand, which is not your hand but some, clawed, thing, comes down and-

Your vision goes red and you clutch your head in pain. Gasping, you find yourself back in the hallway, back in your body. Back to normal. 

You take a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. You don't know what that was. You don't want to find out, either. 

"Not enjoying the party, Andromeda?"

You look up, standing above you is Moon. He's also dressed up for this, wearing a witch costume that has more aspects of his usual wear to it than Sun's did. His color scheme is purple with bits of orange, and his usual hat is replaced by a large witch hat. 

You relax, the pain is gone, for now, "Trying to. I've not been feeling so hot, honestly."

"What's wrong?" He sits down across from you, cross-legged.

You shake your head, "I don't know. My head has just been, feeling funny. And hurts. A lot, really. Been blocking it out I guess."

"How unfortunate. Perhaps I could be of help?"

You shrug, "You can try, but don't feel like you have to, either."

Moon holds out his hand to you, and you set your palm on top of his. He intwines your fingers, which makes your face heat up, but you think with all the paint on your face it's impossible to tell. You look up to him, waiting. 

"Close your eyes, and take a deep breath," He urges.

You do. The pain has subsided some, though not by much.

"Breathe in," Pause, "Breathe out."

You follow his instructions, each breath helping to soothe you bit by bit. 

You realize however, that even with your eyes closed, there's a purplish tint to the blackness behind your eyes. You frown, and notice that it grows when you breath in, and subsides as you breathe out.

Moon's grip tightens on yours, but keeps speaking. 

"In," His tone shifts, growing hoarser, sinister? "Out..."

Alarm spikes in your stomach, but yet, your mind stays calm, almost like its-

You open your eyes, smiling softly, "I think I'm good now. Thanks, Moon-man."

He nods. 

Then, something occurs to you.

"Wait a minute, shouldn't you be passing out candy to the kids-" You blink, and you're alone in the fully lit hallway. 

You rub your eyes, had the lights been on that entire time? You knew that sometimes the two AI could avoid a switch if the light level wasn't fully one way or the other. But this was different. 

You don't get to dwell on it, as a scream erupts from inside the west arcade, several others following. Alarmed, you sit up, ignoring the pain in your skull that's back with a vengeance and rush inside. 

You find a crowd has gathered around the center of the dancefloor. The music's been cut, and people are muttering with horrified looks at whatever’s in the middle of the group.

As you move past people who are covering their mouths or eyes, some are crying, some are shaking their heads in disbelief. You find your team among them.

"What's going on?" You ask after shoving past another person. 

Savannah shakes her head, and Liv cowers further into Tyler's arms. You've never seen him so grim. 

You realize two of them are missing, your fear grows, "...Where's Jesse and Pete?"

Tyler nods to the center of the crowd, and you quickly take the few further steps to burst out into the opening, finding your fears confirmed plainly. 

Pete sits on the ground, crying as he cradles a body wrapped in white cloth stained red. You have to flick your eyes away from it for a moment, the sight being beyond shocking.

Swallowing and keeping your eyes to the ground, you slowly approach Pete and sit down. Briefly, you find your eyes meeting your, Christ, your dead friend's. His eyes are wide, mouth open in pure horror.

You turn back to the man beside you, setting your hand on his shoulder as he jumps, "What happened?"

"The, the lights cut, just, he just," He can't seem to look away, he's shaking, "I don't, I don't know how this would've, who could've, do-done this..."

You put your other hand on his other shoulder, forcing him to turn and look to you, "Pete. Breathe. Just breathe. Okay?"

He nods slowly, and you turn to behind the crowd behind you, "Please tell me somebody's called the cops?"

"No signal, trying to get ahold of Derrick in the office, but haven't had any luck," You realize that it's Bri who's answering you, looking rather grim in her black cat costume. 

You nod, "Right. Who's got basic medical training? I think he's gone into shock."

Someone steps forward, and starts tending to Pete. Someone else comes forward and lays a sheet over Jesse's body. A ghost costume you realize, how ironically morbid.

You stand, and-unfortunately being the person with the most experience in this scenario-try your best to take charge and calm things down. You also feel some level of responsibility, given that all the other Division Heads seem to be missing now.

Working with Bri, you send a group to the security office to see if they can't notify the police of what's happened. Additionally, you try to lock down the area to keep this from getting beyond the walls of this room and causing mass panic. Not to mention, you have no idea who did this, meaning they're still among you as far as you're aware. 

It's all going as smooth as it can be until Bri and the other guards’ radios erupt with screaming. Causing you to pause in your discussion with Savannah. 

You can barely make out what they're saying, only catching snippets here and there.

"-Something in the office!"

"Everybody's dead, oh god, they're all-"

"Help! Please! Anybody!"

To make matters worse, the lights cut again, sending the growing paranoia among the crowd into a full blown hysteric mob. You can't make out a thing in the dark, and when your head starts aching again, purple blinding you, you know you're a goner for the time being. 

Another vison comes to you, this time, the room is dimly lit, and you can tell this is a closet of some kind.

Again, you tower over a cowering figure who you realize is, David? What in the world is he doing here? What is happening?

"I don't know what they see in you, if anything at all," A voice that's not your own, yet comes from you, says. It's familiar but yet you can't-

David's sentence is shaky, "Look, I don't know what you want but I don't want any trouble. Okay?"

"Trouble? Friend, you're in a lot more than just trouble," There's something heavy in your hands, it glints in the light, "I'll tell you what though, if you hold still you'll be saving me a lot!"

Axe, it's an axe and it's swinging, down, down, down-

"Hey, it's alright. You're alright," Bri's shaking you, hand on your shoulder. 

You take a deep breath, realizing you're on your knees in a room lit by a red emergency light and some flashlights. Glancing around, you see all your friends, including Abby and even Jacob are here with you. There's a few others who you're guessing are other security guards based on how they stand near the door, on edge. 

You look back to Bri, "How'd I get here?"

Bri juts her thumb, "Tyler found you half out of it on the ground and grabbed you. Somehow carried Liv here too."

"I'm stronger than I look," He flexes with a nod. 

You manage to crack a weak smile, clutching your head as more pain shoots through it, "What happened? Where are we?"

"Security office by Fazerblast," Bri answers, glancing over at the covered window in the door, which you realize has been barricaded, "Furthest we could get safely with this many people."

"What do you mean by safely?"

She opens her mouth, but Pete speaks up, "The bots have gone awol." You turn to see he's on the ground, leaning up against the wall, blood dripping down the side of his head, face solemn, angry, "They're picking us off one by one. Anybody in sight is getting killed off. Doesn't help that we can't see a fuckin' thing and they can."

Your eyes widen, "What? …but, why? How?"

"Does it matter?" He asks, looking to you now, "We're dead meat if we try to leave, but we're sitting ducks here."

Bri scolds him, "We're not sitting ducks. This our best chance of getting out of here alive. If we can get power to the cameras, even better."

"Working on it," Liv says, something sparking as she speaks, "But I'm not an electrical engineer."

"Just give it up, Liv. There's no point," Pete scoffs, shaking his head.

He and Bri start arguing, Savannah trying to interject to keep the peace.

Someone sits down beside you, hand resting on your shoulder. 

It's Abby, her Glamrock makeup is smeared with dried tear streaks, "Hey."

"Hey," You sigh.

She bites her lip, "Are, are your siblings...?"

Your eyes widen and shake your head.

"God no. They're, they're safe. Out trick or treating with Clara," You put a hand to your face, relieved as you realize that fact, "Your brother?"

She sighs, "Also safe. With my parents. Not here. But," She stops, and you know exactly what she's thinking. 

You nod, turning away as you hear her sniffle. Your friends are still fighting, the guards by the door are getting antsy, another spark startles Liv and she looks ready to cry. You need to do something. 

Your vision turns purple but you shake it off immediately. Whatever this is, it can wait. You're going to make it.

Standing, and clutching your arm to keep it from twitching, you clear your throat, "We're not going to die here. Not on my watch. Bri, you and your guys here have any sort of weapon?"

"Tasers. And there should be a baton in here somewhere. Why, what are you thinking?"

You nod to the control panel for the cameras, "If there's anyone who can get those working in a blackout, it's Lizzy. And I know they were in Fazerblast before all this. Hell, it might've been their team that caused the outage."

"You want to go out there?" Pete asks, "Are you insane?"

You shrug, "Have to be at least a little bit to do this job. Someone give me a radio. We can at least double check before considering it."

Bri hands you her radio, and after a moment's hesitation, you set it to the engineers' channel and hold in on the button, "Lizzy, you still okay out there?"

Quiet. Your friends exchange a few bleak glances. 

You're about to try again when, "Uh, yeah? Why wouldn't I be?"

Relief, you think Pete even cracks a small smile. 

"There's... a lot of shit going down in the Plex right now, how have you not heard about it?"

"Dude we've been stuck in Fazerblast for hours. Besides trying to fix the power the doors got jammed. I'm not leaving until this is done though, so we just kind of ignored it. Did think it was weird there was no parents complaining about not being able to use a half-functioning attraction though." Their tone is so casual you have no choice but to believe it. 

The information, however, is huge, "That's, actually the best case scenario for us right now. So listen up, we gotta do this right or we don't stand a chance."

After explaining the full situation to Lizzy and their team, you work with your friends to come up with a plan. A good one. Something tells you you're only going to get one shot at this. 

Meanwhile, you struggle to keep it together. You keep getting more and more flashes of that other perspective. Speaking in those voices that you can't quite place how you know. Increasingly, you start to recognize the locations they're in are getting more familiar to where you are currently. 

It's a no brainer to you then, that you're a part of the team that goes to retrieve Lizzy. You force Bri to stay in the office, along with one of the guards. If you don't make it back, you at least want some people to stay safe. 

You try and fail in vein to stop Pete and Abby from coming with you, Tyler picks you up again when you question him coming along. 

"We're better off in even groups," Pete argues, gripping the metal chair leg he stole tightly, "Makes our chances that much better."

You don't disagree, but you don't like it either, "Fine, you're right. Now put me down please, Ty."

"Can do boss," He sets you down. 

You're all armed as best you can. The guard, Joseph, has a taser, and Tyler has-apparently-pure brute force on his side. Pete has the chair leg, which is similar to the stun baton you're carrying.

Abby has brass knuckles. You don't know how she has those but you're not going to question it. Apparently, Utah state law doesn't have any clauses relating to them, now you know.

You move quickly and silently through open darkness to get to the staff entrance to Fazerblast, which is thankfully only a short distance away. You all stay close, not saying a word as you navigate. 

There's not a soul around, human or machine. You don't know if it you puts you more on edge or not. 

When you get to the door, Pete's able to get it open quickly, and you all file inside, locking it again soon thereafter. 

The light inside the attraction is blinding in comparison to the darkness outside, the music and sound effects playing as if everything is entirely normal. It's almost more eerie in that regard. 

You find Lizzy and their crew sitting around one of the towers, the reunion is brief, but happy. It's agreed that the senior engineer will come with your group, and the parts and service crew will stay for safety reasons. You're about to depart again, when the radio starts going crazy. 

"We've got issues here!" Bri shouts down the line, "Don't come back, it's not safe!"

Static blares from the device, followed by banging, shouting, crying, and then a loud crash. The silence that follows is deafening. 

"Fuck. No, no, no," You bang on the side of the radio, "Come on, Bri! Savannah! Anyone!?"

No answer. 

"Dammit!" You toss the radio to the side, hands coming up to grip the sides of your head, "Dammit, dammit, dammit."

A hand on your shoulder, Abby again, "There's nothing we can do right now. We're going to have to refocus. Plan. Hope that they'll be okay-"

There's a banging at the front entrance to Fazerblast. Everyone freezes. 

You think quickly as the sound grows in volume, "Lizzy, how in control of the power are you currently?"

They dig through their bag, and toss you a makeshift remote, "It's what we've been using to test."

The pounding gets louder, and the shutter creaks. 

"Everybody who isn't armed find a place to hide. The rest of you are with me. We're gonna flip the tables on them."

Everyone scatters, and you make your way to the doors. You have no idea what's on the other side of that metal shutter, but you're going to find out one way or another. You'd rather it be on your terms. 

"Can you get it open?" You ask Pete, hitting the lights and leaving only a flashlight to see.

He nods, "You're sure about this?"

"As I'll ever be. Abby, Joe, Ty, go hide nearby. We'll assess the biggest threat and go from there."

They all nod, and head off into the darkness.

Pete gets the panel open, taking a deep breath, "I hope you're right."

You press your back against the wall beside the panel, almost accustom to the feeling of your vision switching to purple. That other perspective is right outside now. You see Freddy is the one banging on the door, along with several map bots. You squeeze your eyes shut and you're back in your body again.

"Me too."

There's a beep, and the shutter slowly starts to raise. Quickly, you grab Pete and shove him on the other side of you, using your arm to press him up against the wall beside you. 

As bots start pouring in, you lean your head back against the wall, holding your breath. 

You watch as they fan out, scouring for anyone that they think is in here. They don't see you. You relax slightly.

You turn to Pete and nod, guarding him as he moves and shuts the door again, it quietly sinks back to the ground, locking you in here for the time being. 

Moving across the wall, you regroup with the others. 

"I counted six staff bots, and Freddy," Abby whispers. The other three agree. 

Pete keeps lookout on your corner, "The music still playing helps us a little, but not a lot. We stick together, and go one by one, saving Freddy for last."

You frown, "Freddy's not last."

"What do you mean? Of course he is, he's going to be the hardest to take down."

You shake your head, "You miscounted. There's one more animatronic that made it in."

"Who?"

Off in the distance, you hear it, the jingle of bells. There's a flash of red as he lands on one of the walls, far off from you but within your line of sight. 

You shake away the purple again, knowing it's going to show you what he's seeing at that moment, "Moon."

You fare better than you expected. A bunch of humans versus machines. You manage to take down three of the staffs bots in the dark, and by screwing with the lights a few times, manage to disorient the Daycare Attendant enough to keep them from discovering your location. 

However, one of the parts n services guys gets found out, and his terrified screams as your claws rip him apart send, something, down your spine.

You know something's wrong with you now. You're taking far too much joy in beating in the metal skull of the staff bot below you. Oil splattering your clothes and face. You feel manic, alive. Out of control. 

You shake your head, stopping. You ignore the glances being sent your way, you have to make it through this. 

With this one you realize there's only one more staff bot left, then it's just Freddy and the Daycare Attendant. You flick the lights off again, huddling together with the others. 

"If we go for one, the other is going to know. Our best bet is to divide and conquer," Pete says. 

You nod, "One person with an electric weapon per team, one with something heavy. Tyler, you go with the group at the disadvantage to even it out."

Your teams end up being Joseph, Abby, and Tyler together to take on Freddy, leaving you and Pete to deal with Moon. 

You trudge through the darkness, silence between the two of you. 

There's been a voice in your head for a bit now. You block out whatever it says. Your grip feels shaky on the baton, and you can tell Pete's on edge more because of you than the looming threat somewhere out in the dark.

Keep it together. You just have to keep it together.

"Hello, Diana."

You turn, he pulls you up into the air, away from Pete. You don't even think to scream, instead only able to watch terrified as the ground and your friend get further and further away. 

Moon settles on one of the towers to set you down again, and you scramble back and fall onto the ground, looking up at him with fear. 

His faceplate twists, observing you. Then, his eyes narrow cheekily and he chuckles lowly. 

"What's the matter, Bright Eyes? You look like you've seen a ghost."

You bit your lip as it trembles, raising the baton as a threat, "W-with how this night is going it's, certainly a possibility."

"But that's not my costume now, is it?" He takes a step closer. 

You hold firm with the baton, hitting the button for the taser part to go off, "Moon-man, I don't want to hurt you. Don't make me."

The spark seems to deter him, growling.

"Why are you doing this? What did any of these people do to you?" You ask, beg in your words, "Killing innocent people? That's not you."

Moon snickers, and despite your waving of the baton, he moves closer, clawed finger resting on the end of it. He presses it down as he crouches to your level. 

You now sit eye to eye with him as he speaks, "Andromeda, would you like to know a secret?"

Your grip tightens on your weapon, head shaking once. That doesn't deter him. 

He leans in closer, his smile hovering just above your lips. 

"This is the best Halloween I've ever had," Then, he kisses you. You're so surprised that you don't feel the baton be taken from your hand until it's gone. 

He pulls away, chuckling again.

A loud bang suddenly resonates in the space, and the Naptime Attendant starts to twitch and collapse on the ground in front of you.

Pete stands over you both, breathing heavy as he clutches the chair leg in both hands. 

"Sorry, had to take the stairs."

Moon snarls and flips around, hand raising ready to slash across the man's chest. 

Panicked, you hit the button for the lights. 

But it's too late. 

As Sun's rays pop out, one by one, Pete can only stand there, blood slowly starting to soak through his shirt. He coughs, then takes a step forward, then another, stumbling past you into the wall. You quickly flip around as he collapses back against it, breathing ragged. 

"Well, at least now you look authentic," You turn back to see Sun standing hunched over, clutching his faceplate, "Though, it's still not quite as good as mine."

As he straightens, you have to suppress a gasp as it's revealed that one of his optics has shattered from the previous impact. 

His rays twitch and his focus snaps to you as you stand. 

His faceplate clicks to the side, "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes, Sunshine."

"Sun." You can't reach for your baton without it being obvious. 

"Are you having a good Halloween? I know I am." He tsks, "A pity about your costume, though I suppose the grit and grime really sells it."

You take a deep breath, running the back of your hand under your nose to wipe away the blood that's dripping. Your vison flashes purple, and for a moment you find you’re staring down at yourself. 

You're a mess. Hair all over the place, clothes torn. There's streaks in the paint covering your skin. There's still blood coming out your nose a little bit.

And your eyes are bright purple.

You come back to and watch Sun's eyes narrow.

You shift slightly, hand twitching.

You see there’s a slight shadow over Sun’s eyes. And in his good optic a small white pupil flicks to your hand. You swallow.

 "Don't do something you'll regret, Icarus."

You stamp your foot down onto the baton, it pops up into your hand and you click to turn it on.

You jut your chin out, tilting your head slightly, "Come on, Sun. You know me better than that."

You rush forward, he steps back, dodging and spinning to face you as you charge again. It's almost like a dance of danger. And it truly becomes one when Sun takes one of your hands and spins you around, dipping you low and back up as you try and fail again to use the baton on him. 

You let out a noise of frustration. Charging forward again, the two of you go round and round. Narrowly you miss him every time. Narrowly he dodges every swing. He’s fast. Faster than you’d have ever anticipated, than he’d ever let on about. You never realized how close to death you may have been all this time.

After another miss, this one the closet you’ve gotten yet, Sun puts an end to your game. He grabs hold of the baton, only flinching as you turn it on, and rips it from your grip, tossing it aside. He spins you into his arms and holds tight. 

You fight against him in vain. 

"You know, Bright Eyes. I would have thought you'd appreciate your treat a bit more than this," He snarls the words, "But maybe you've been too busy resisting it to do so."

You slow your struggling, and Sun releases you finally. The words having done the job far better than his hold to sedate you.

You turn to face him cautiously.

"You, you did this?" You ask, "You did this to me?"

Sun tuts, hands coming up to cup your cheeks, "Well, technically you did it to yourself, Bright Eyes. But I'm happy you did. Makes all of this much, much easier."

It suddenly hits you that he's right. Maybe not intentionally, or fully knowing, but you made the choice to go back to the computer. You chose to try and turn it off again. You could have left the office, it would've shut down eventually. Something had compelled you to come closer and investigate, and you had made the choice to listen. 

And now you were suffering from the cost.

"Now, let's finish this up, hm?" Sun bends and kisses you, pulling away after a moment, "You wouldn't want to disappoint now, would you?"

You don't answer. Your feet move on their own as they turn to face Pete, who seems to realize what's happening before you do. 

He clutches the wound on his stomach tighter, breathing quickening, "Come on, snap out of it! This isn't you! You know it's not."

"Quiet over there, you'll get your chance to speak in just a moment," There's something set down in your hands, you know what it is, "Don't worry, I'll help you. No need for tears."

You find that you are crying, but can't do a thing to stop it. Your body is not your own, your emotions are not your own. You are entirely out of control as Sun guides you to march staggeredly towards Pete.

Off in the distance you hear shouting as your remaining friends try in vain to take down Freddy. Not that it mattered. Even if they did, you'd be finishing the job.

Your breathing is heavy but controlled, grip on the axe tight, all you can do is stare down at Pete, who looks up at you horrified, eyes wide. You think the look matches the fear in your own gaze.

Sun's hands are on your shoulders, voice a purr in your ear, "Go on, Starlight. You know what you need to do."

The axe raises jerkily, fighting against it and losing. Your eyes snap shut, and it comes down. Again, and again, and again.

You block out everything, all noise, all touches. You block out the sound of sickening crunches and squelches, of Pete's heavy gasps, of Sun murmuring encouragement right beside you all the while. 

You block out the wood rough against the skin of your hands, the blood, sweat, and tears, running down your face. Sun's hands wrapped around your waist, head resting on your shoulder. 

You suddenly regain control and your eyes shoot open, throwing the axe away from you and stumbling back into Sun's arms. Your hands come up to your face as you sob, shaking your head. 

He just holds you as you cry, muttering things you can't comprehend as he presses kisses to your hair. 

When you finally subside to sniffles is when he pulls back to press a kiss to your lips.

"There, there, you're alright, Bright Eyes. Come on now," He lifts you to your feet, arms pulling you closer as he leans in for another kiss, "I'll let you pick who's next, how's that?" 

You shoot up from your bed, heart racing. You clutch your chest, breathing hard. 

You're at home. Sitting on your bed. You're fine. Everything's fine.

There's a yawn to your left that interrupts your thoughts. 

It's Gabe, laying on the bed beside you in his pumpkin costume. He yawns again, and stares curiously up at you, fist in his mouth. You pat his head with a sigh.

Right, you were going to put him down for a nap before heading out to trick or treat, then go to the Plex for the same thing. Looks like you ended up taking a nap too. 

You check the time, it's almost five. Suddenly, a thought hits you square in the face.

"Did I kiss Sun?" You say aloud. 

You do your best to recall the fading nightmare.

Oh god, you did. Right on his stupid flat face. Multiple times. You kissed Moon to but you're less opposed to that albeit confused-but Sun?

Involuntarily you gag, now feeling the sudden urge to rinse out your mouth, even if it had just been to his faceplate, much less a dream. 

Shaking your head, you turn to look down at your brother, who's now somehow managed to get his foot in his mouth, despite his costume. 

"Gabe, never down a bag of sour gummies and immediately take a nap, it'll give you crazy dreams."

You think you might leave the trick or treating to the kids tonight.

Something tells you that it’s for the best.

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

Oof, what a doozy huh? Imagine being the final girl AND the killer... crazy. Good thing it was all just a dream. Here's the promptober list and the spookvember schedule. Thanks for reading as always-

Oh?

What's this?

Looks like there's a link down here.

How'd that get there?

...

Hm.

You should click it. See what happens.

CLICK ME

btw the song playing while writing the fight scene was I Go Crazy - Orla Gartland and it was a VIBE and a half let me tell you-

[russellsppttemplates]

Can we please have more dad George I miss him soo much like literally anything 🥺😭

Note: I'm working on a big piece for him, but in the mean time, here's a blurb!

Cw: reader's pregnant

"Mummy called me and said she was going to take a little bit longer today, so how about we cook for her?", George suggested once he got off the phone, "sure, daddy!", Arthur said, "I'm going to get Olivia to join us!", he said excitedly, running up to his sister's room to tell her the plans.

George laid out all of the ingredients they needed for the recipe and helped the kids put on their aprons, "daddy, whenever I cook with mummy she always tells us what to do. Do you know what to do?", Olivia wondered, looking up at him as she moved the bowls around, "of course I do, darling! Me and Arthur have cooked a couple of times before, haven't we buddy?", he asked your son, earning his nod. Since you liked to cook, it wasn't one of the chores around the house you and George shared, opting to share others instead.

"Can you keep stirring, Liv?", he asked your daughter, "me and Arthur will get started on measuring the milk and cracking the eggs - careful, buddy", he said as Arthur grabbed the milk carton.

"Daddy?", Olivia called, "this is getting yellow, like, golden? I think that's what mummy calls it", she said as George took a peak at the pot, "okay, it's ready for the rice", he mentioned, Arthur helping out his sister in adding the grains, "Good job, guys!", George complimented, kissing the top of their heads as he wiped his hands on the towell.

"Mummy told me yesterday that she really wanted to have this pie", Arthur mumbled as he looked at it cooking in the oven, making sure it would be just like how you liked it.

"It's why we are making it, right? She told daddy she has been craving it for a few days, I heard her", Olivia nudged as George grabbed the plates and cutlery to take to the table, "yes! Mummy has been waiting to make this for a bit, but she hasn't had the time - and we all know how much she hates asking got help - so I decided we were going to surprise her", George explained, nodding his head to the dining room so they could help him with the table.

"I did help her yesterday!", Arthur chirped in, "she wanted to pick something off the floor, but her baby bump - she couldn't do it, she was like those jelly pots we have for snacks, all wiggly trying to do it- so I helped her", he exemplified as George tried his best not ot laugh at the creative, yet accurate, description. "You did well, buddy. She will hardly ask for help, but it's always good to help her whenever you can", George noted.

When you finally got home, you left your shoes by the door just in time for Olivia to come give you a hug, "Hi, mummy! How was your day? Daddy and Arthur are in the dining room with Winston and Maya", she said as she pulled your hand, mindful that you were walking a little bit slower than usual.

"Mummy!", Arthur yelled as he hugged your legs, pressing his lips to your clothed bump, "how is the baby?", he asked, "he's good, been kicking a lot today actually", you smiled, kissing your son's cheek and then his sister's before moving up to your husband, "is my nose deceiving me or have you made my craving?", you moaned in his ear, "you've been busy, and me and the kids wanted to treat you", he smiled, kissing your lips before getting everyone to sit at the table, Maya and Winston sitting by your feet.

"I was a bit doubtful at first, but this is good, daddy!", Olivia complimented, "thanks? I guess", your husband chuckled as he served himself some of the salad, "I think we make a great team, not as good as mummy, but pretty close", Arthur added as he ate a fork full of the meal.

(Thank you for your submission ✨️)

[symbologic]

Soul-Bound in Wano: The Spooky Simpatico of Luffy and Zoro

Just finished Wano, and wow. I'm surprised there isn't more talk about the crazy parallels between Luffy and Zoro throughout the arc, but especially the raid. It's like Oda was trolling us with how perfectly they mirror each other in places.

Of course, there's the whole shared "wandering samurai" theme in Acts I and II, and then there's the heartwarming scene with them both freaking out over spilled soup. (Side note: I wouldn't be shocked if Zoro's anime-only sake scene was stuff Oda had to cut from the manga – it totally fits Oda's style with Zoro.)

But that's just the tip of the iceberg. We've got a ton of other stuff too:

Zoro uses Conqueror's Haki to injure Kaido because they're all desperate? Boom, Luffy digs deep and starts doing it too.

Zoro gets bandaged up like a mummy? Well, guess who can't move because he fell in the ocean?

Both of them get their own team of doctors? How lucky!

Zoro gets revived with an injection? Here comes Luffy, fueled by some meat!

Zoro declares he'll become a GOD if that's what it takes? 🤔 Makes you wonder what that means for Luffy...

Death himself shows up for Zoro? Not good! Now Luffy's literally in cardiac arrest! Speaking of, Zoro's looking rough. Those sunken eyes, man...

Thank god they're both too stubborn to die. And guess what? They get put right next to each other, while people pray for them to wake up

And wouldn't you know it, they wake up at the EXACT SAME TIME

This can't just be a coincidence, right? It feels like they're on some spooky, soul-bound level where Zoro's fate weirdly determines Luffy's. Which actually slots so, so neatly into Wano and its recurring themes of fate! Hell, Oda himself even said in an SBS (the one about Zoro's family tree) that Zoro's story is that of a strange, twisted fate he's completely clueless about.

Honestly, I love that for them.

Zoro might not get a whole arc dedicated to his backstory like Nami, Robin, or Sanji. But the choices he makes carry a surprising amount of weight in the grand scheme of things.

[feraltuxedo]

A Tentative WIP Wednesday

I'm in the throes of a serious bout of writer's block at the moment, but very slowly a new fic is emerging. I'm only getting a few sentences written each day, but it's better than nothing, right?

With this one, I'm sticking very firmly to my comfort zone.

Since there's been so much love for Intermezzo in the past few weeks (thank you to all of you who have read and enjoyed it), and this new fic is very much Intermezzo 2.0 in terms of tropes, vibes.... everything really... what better time to share a bit of it?

Anyway, here's a snippet of said WIP. Ex rockstar Crowley meets classical musician Aziraphale. Rock music and bickerflirting aplenty:

Aziraphale was still digging through the mess of cables on the search for one that didn’t look like it might electrocute his bass guitar, when the door opened again.

This time it really was Anthony Crowley who strode through it. In the flesh. God, he was striking. Taller than Aziraphale had imagined, and skinnier. In his Hellspawn days, he’d been dressed in heavy leather jackets and those impossibly tight jeans everyone insisted on wearing a decade ago. His hair had trailed behind him like a cloud made of pure fire when he’d strutted across the stage in snake-skin boots. Statuesque, drawn in sharp lines like a Picasso masterpiece come to life.

Present-day Crowley looked a lot more casual in a black hoodie, short hair, and, surprisingly, no sunglasses. A guitar case was slung over one shoulder, a messenger bag across the other. Like any other mortal walking the streets of London. Still outrageously good-looking, mind, middle age be damned. Aziraphale barely had time to notice the deep brown colour of his eyes, before they glared right at him.

‘Can’t get an espresso anywhere in this place. Oi Blondie, be an angel and go fetch one, would you? Double shot, no sugar.’

Aziraphale jumped to his feet. He’d never before felt quite so threatened by the words be an angel. The pathetic part of his brain that was still stuck in 2015 didn’t fail to point out that Anthony Crowley snapping at him to get coffee was the hottest thing that had happened to him all year.

Anathema stopped him with an outstretched arm before he reached the door, eyebrow raised in disapproval.

‘Don’t you fucking dare.’

He flinched at the fire in her voice before he realised it was aimed squarely at Anthony Crowley.

‘You don’t have the name, money, or credibility to boss people around these days, so shut up, sit down, and listen.’

Crowley waved his arms about to demonstrate the rehearsal room's utter lack of seating options. Even the drum stool was cluttered with assorted cardboard boxes. Anathema ignored him.

‘Aziraphale isn’t your personal coffee boy. He’s in the band, so you better treat him right or you’ll be playing without a bass, which is literally impossible.’

Crowley crossed his arms.

‘Jim Morrison managed.’

‘You’re not Jim Morrison.’

‘And the White Str—’

Anathema cut him off with a sound that could only be described as a hiss.

Anthony Crowley turned to face him again, and god-in-heaven, Aziraphale was not prepared for the effect of the man he’d spent many a lonely night fantasising about actually acknowledging his existence.

Admittedly, he didn’t look all that pleased about it.

‘So you’re actually a bass player? Like a proper one?’

Alright, that wasn’t the tone he’d hoped to hear out of Anthony Crowley’s mouth. Aziraphale picked up his bass guitar and clutched it tight, with the sinking feeling that perhaps there was truth to that saying about never meeting one’s heroes.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘You look like you’ve just passed your grade four exam, paid for by mummy.’

‘Actually, I have an MMus in Performance.’

‘A what?’

‘A Master’s degree.’

Which is more than Anthony Crowley had managed. 3 GCSEs, and none of them in music, if Wikipedia was to be believed. Aziraphale held onto just enough tact not to point that out. He raised his chin a fraction and noticed a shift in Anthony Crowley’s gaze, perhaps a smidgen of respect creeping into those deep brown eyes.

‘You can get a degree in bass guitar?’

‘You can, though mine’s in cello.’

Crowley’s eyes narrowed and the trace of respect vanished, as if he had a personal vendetta against the cello. That certainly didn’t bode well for Aziraphale’s prospects in his band.

‘Yeah, well, I don’t think faffing about with an overpriced bit of wood between your legs qualifies you to play in my band. Not that I wouldn’t pay good money to see that, mind…’

The mix of embarrassment, indignation, and the hot flush of feeling star struck did strange things to Aziraphale. It made him drop his bass, which landed on his foot. This was great news for the bass, since Aziraphale’s foot was a good deal softer than the thin carpet.

Not such great news, however, for his toes.

‘Botheration,’ he yelped, grabbing the bass to lean it against one of the many amps that surrounded him.

‘Botheration?’ Crowley repeated. ‘Fucking hell, Anathema, where d’you find these people?’

Anathema’s disapproving eyebrow rose a little higher.

‘I found him at a strip club, actually.’

‘I was playing the cello!’ Aziraphale corrected hastily, as he wiggled his toes, just to make sure they were all still attached.

The G String was London’s only classical-music themed strip club. Or at least that was what the manager claimed, and Aziraphale had never bothered googling the matter. The music was easy, the audience distracted enough not to notice when he hadn’t practiced that week.

Crowley’s gaze shot back to Aziraphale, raking over him from head to throbbing toe and back. The irritation from just a moment ago made way to… admiration? Sweet Jesus, he was looking at him, and he clearly liked what he saw, judging by the small smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth.

‘With your clothes on?’

‘Of course with my clothes on,’ Aziraphale huffed, trying his hardest not to look too pleased with the once-over he was receiving.

[sephirthoughts]

Do I even have to say anything about why I ship them? It just happened, and I still don't know why. XD

Ah, man, I think you can already guess who I'm talking about, but Reeve and that Haunted Hotel Bellhop? That's my weirdest ship so far.

That, or Daraen (Fire Embelm Awakening) and Cloud. For them it's just the vibes. Also, white haired protagonist who's haunted by an ancient evil falling for the blond guy who's haunted by a silver haired new evil is just funny to me. XD

i don't actually know what fire emblem awakening is even so reeve bellhop it is!! 😂

This wound up being…well, pretty much exactly as silly as I expected.

"Now, Ollie, it's not nice to pull off other people's bandages. No, no, don't put them in your—and they're in her mouth." Benjamin sighed, as he attempted to tug the long strip of cloth out of her hands. "Well now they're all soaked in your baby slime. How am I supposed to put them back on?"

"Pfffbbt bah gah bah!" Ollie argued, flatly refusing to relinquish her interesting new toy.

"Why don't you just leave them off," Nero suggested, from where he was lying on the couch. "Who are you worried about seeing you, here?"

Benjamin opened is mouth to reply, but Reeve and Vincent came downstairs, at that moment.

"Oh, hey, Benjamin," Reeve said, looking surprised. "You're really handsome, without the bandages hiding your face."

"Thank you," Nero answered, at which everyone looked at him. "What? We're identical."

"You're right. You're both very handsome," Reeve chuckled.

Benjamin was already holding Oliie in front of his face, like a human shield, so he didn't see Reeve look over at him, again, as he and Vincent went out the front door.

It was nice of Mr. Tuesti to say he was handsome, but he knew how ugly the blue-black darkness cracks in his face were. He'd scared enough kids and teenagers and full-grown adults to be fully aware of his hideousness, before the age of ten.

The cherry on top of that self-esteem issue sundae was when he'd been deemed too scary looking for the job he'd applied to. The job as a bellhop at the Haunted Hotel. Where part of the gig was literally scaring people.

His friend helped him put together his mummy-bellhop costume, which conveniently featured a lot of facial bandages, and his application was finally approved by management (with the additional caveat that he also had to wear contacts to make his cat-slit pupils appear round).

He didn't resent the bandages, though. They were his armor. People laughed and smiled, when he had them on, rather than averting their eyes or staring in horror. When they screamed, it was because he dropped out of the ceiling and spooked them, on purpose. It felt good to have control over how people react to you, after a lifetime of evoking terror, through no fault of your own.

"I approve," Nero said, apropos of nothing, after Vincent and Mr. Tuesti had gone.

Benjamin looked up. "Huh?"

"Reeve. I approve. You may date him."

"I…you…he…WHAT??"

"BWAH??" Ollie squawked, mimicking Benjamin's exclamation.

"He obviously likes you. He's a little old but he's hot, and he's a good person. Hence, I approve."

"I don't—Mr. Tuesti doesn't like me like that, are you insane?"

"Legally, clinically, and literally, yes. But that doen't mean I'm blind and stupid. That man is into you. It's a fact."

"What's a fact," Sephiroth asked, as he entered the living room.

"Reeve likes Benny."

"Hm." Sephiroth considered this for a moment. "I approve. You may date him."

Benjamin was absolutely beside himself. "What are you—I didn't ask for approval! Or permission! And I'm not dating anyone!!"

At that very moment, the front door opened and Vincent re-entered. Behind him, Reeve popped his head in. "Hey, Benjamin, could I talk to you in private for a sec?"

"Um, s—sure, Mr. Tuesti, I'll be right there."

Ollie staunchly hung onto the bandage, and not wanting to risk a tanrum, Benjamin gave up and handed her over to Sephiroth. Ignoring Nero's meaningful look, he followed Reeve out the front door.

Nero turned to Sephiroth. "I'll bet you a hundred gil—"

"No wager necessary. It's a certainty."

"Guh guh guh guh," Ollie burbled, cheerfully saturating the bandage with more drool.

Several long minutes passed, then Benjamin returned, and sat down on the floor, where he'd been, as if nothing had happened. Three pairs of eyes stared at him, till he couldn't sit still anymore.

"I'm going to the engineering expo with him, on Saturday, and he's taking me to dinner afterward. Are you happy?"

"Ha! He did ask him out!!" Nero gloated. "You owe me a hundred gil, Sephi!"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes. "I didn't accept the wager, and I agreed with you. Congratulations on your date, Benjamin. I hope you have a lovely time."

"It's not a date!" Benjamin insisted.

"What kind of dorks go on a date at an engineering expo," Nero chortled. "You and Reeve are two peas in a nerd-pod, aren't you."

"But it's just an activity and a meal. That's not a date. Is it?"

"An activity and a meal is generally considered a date, Benjamin," said Vincent, who had reappeared at some point.

"Bahbuh mabaga," Ollie put in sagely, offering Benjamin back his drool-soaked bandage.

"Thanks. I'll just…wash that first."

"If you're too nervous, I'm willing to disguise myself as you and serve as your substitute."

"You giant jackass, who are you gonna fool?" Nero scoffed. "If anyone's going on Benny's date in disguise, I am."

"No one's going on my date in diguise! I mean—not date!!"

"What's that? Benny got a date?" Cid's voice called, from the stairwell.

Benjamin sighed, dropping his head despondently into his hands. "Yes. I…I'm going on a date."

[slashingdisneypasta]

Chop Top Sawyer x Fem!Reader || Oneshot

Plot: Chop Top brings home a bus full of kindergarteners he kidnapped, yelling 'Honey! We h-have kids now!!'. 

As the sanest person in this household, you have to get these kids back to where they came from. 

// Chop wants to be a daddy- and he wants you to be the mummy.

Warnings: The kidnapping of an entire class of kinders (Don't worry, no harm comes to them 😭😂).

"H-Honey!! We h-have kids now!!!" A familiar voice calls, as I hear a crowd of little footsteps walking into our abandoned carnival home. Instead of turning around to see what I was afraid to see, I watch Drayton, who I was having a conversation with, turn slowly from calm and relaxed, to insenced, almost crying from the stress of it all. 

Oh, god, what has Chop done now? 

Its a bit fascinating, watching Drayton's expressions, but I really have to... I mean, unfortunately, I think I have to see what my overzealous, unfortunate, ridiculous friend has done. 

I turn around, and my eyes right about bug out of my head. 

There's Chop, hopping around like he does, ushering in at least 25 thigh high, fearful children into the place. "Oh, my, god." 

"Ain't they somethin', sweetheart?" Chop looks up at me excitedly, and is about to say something else, when he gets a hit in the shoulder from Draytons who's come up with his broom, ready to whop Chop Top a few new ones, shaking with fury. "G-got them fro-om a bus stopped for a g-gas f-fill at the shop!" 

"What have you done this time, you coonshit??" 

"Aw, man I-I just-" Hit. I watch the, nearly comedic spectacle with my shoulders dropped and my mouth open. The reason, is the same reason its only nearly comedic. There are 25 kidnapped children here- "C-Come on, man!-" Hit. 

"Hi, kids," I decide to try and appeal to them, peering at them nervously. I take their attention away from the scary, green tinted man and the other, less scary scary man hitting him with the broom. Immediately, on seeing me, some of them relax. I'm the most normal looking one here, and it must be a relief to some of the children in this situation, to see something close to their normal. One of the kids, though, bursts into tears and it nearly brekas my heart in two. I gasp at them, and scoop them up in my arms, trying to calm them. "Shhh, shh, its okay. I know, I'm sorry you're scared. We're going to get you back to your teacher, okay? I promise-" 

"Wh-What!?" Chop Top yells, ripping his eyes from Drayton to me, rubbing his head where the broom would have left a bruise. 

"Yes." I tell him back, the word sounding more like a hiss and my eyes almost literally burning into him. 

"She's damn right, 'yes', boy!" Drayton gets Chop Tops attention again, and I'm able to continue comforting the poor boy in my arms. While I do, I also walk around to the front of the group, and address the rest of the kids, rubbing soothingly up and down the kids back. 

"Okay, hi kids," I start, nervous. What's protocol for a situation like this? The kids all look at me like I'm Jesus and they're all lepers. Oof, now I understand the pressure. Some big, adorable pairs of eyes well up with tears, looking at me, and I almost whine, at how sad it is. Two more kids attach themselves to my legs, seeing their friend safe in my arms. I try to keep my voice steady and warm. "Hey, I'm Y/N. I'm going to fix this, okay? We'll get you back to your parents in no time, you just have to be a little patient for me, okay? Its all going to be okay, uh... " I trail off, thinking. How am I going to fix this?? 

"M-miss, I'm hungry." One of the little girls says nervously, looking pale and scared... but adorable, in her tiny little shoes, and pretty pink dress! God, what is wrong with you Y/N. Stay focused. 

"M-Me too, Miss." A little boy, standing beside her concurs, and I bite my lip, slowly setting the one in my arms back n the ground. The little ones clinging to my legs take that as a signal to get off, and follow him back to the group. 

"Uhh, well, we don't have any food for you... " I say, biting the inside of me cheek. 

"Don't have any food??" Drayton calls loudly, halting his beret of insults at Chop. "We have plen'y of food! I'm an award winnin' chilli cook, kids, we got plen'y of it! I'll get ya som-"  Before the kids eyes can light up, at the idea, I cut him off. 

"I ate it all." I look at the old man piercingly. We are not feeding these children people. Drayton raises his eyebrows, and looks dumbfounded, and a little impressed. 

"You finished eight, eight pounds of chilli-" 

"Yes." This shuts him up, as he quietens down and looks dumbfounded at the floor, instead. I drop my shoulders, in relief. Chop Top bounces away and stands next to me, looking down at the children like a proud father, or something. 

"But, kids, it wont be long before you're back with your teacher, then you can have your lunch! While we wait, though, we'll play a game... " 

I think, what game can they play??

Certainly not tag, someone might lose an eye literally in this place... dead fish? Dead fish seems pretty safe- 

"Ooh! How about hide and seek?" The little girl from before suggests, excited. 

"Um, no." I immediately respond, before Chop can get excited himself, behind them. Definitely not. Not in here. Suddenly, an idea pops into my head and I visibly get happier. "What about heads down, thumbs up? You all know how to play that?" 

A round of excited babbling fills the room and you nod. "Okay! Everyone sit down and put your heads down, okay? I'll pick out the first It kids." 

~

A few games of Heads Down Thumbs Up later, you're able to get the kids calm, and take them back near the Sawyer's gas station and disappear before the panicked teacher and a few cops saw you. When you return to the house, you go s t r a i g h t for Chop Top; slumped in a beanbag listening to his tunes. And yank his headphones immediately off of his head.

"OY!" 

"Wh- WHAT??" He yells back, a psycho little grin on his face even with the glasses hiding his crazy eyes. "Y- y- you returned our b-babies??"

"They weren't our babies! Chop- what on earth were you thinking?? That was the craziest thing you have EVER done! You're lucky Bubba didn't come up stairs and have a heart attack!"

"Awww, Bubs- Bubs woulda liked them!"

"No, Bubba woulda d i e d."

"He'd be a grrrrr-eat uncle!"

"Chop Top!" You exclaim, full of exasperation. If you don't get through to him about this, he might do it again! But god- how are you supposed to instill SENSE into a c r a z y m a n?? "You need to understand, that was... Why did you even want them??"

"We need kids, baby! Unless- unless you w- w- wanna do it the old fashioned way~~ Eh? Doya?" ... wait what? All this talk about 'our babies' and you hadnt considered at all what on earth that meant yet. Until this point. You blink at him, giving no real responce, struggling to take this in. "Doya?? Doya-doya-doya?? DOYA?- "

"God, Chop!! What do you mean!??" He's not suggesting that he thinks- he thinks-

"You're my girl, swe- sweet thing!! Right?? I think its time we took the- took the next step!" The grin on his face is about as genuine and sincere as Chop Top Sawyer gets, and you're shocked still again. When... when did you get into a romantic relationship with Chop!??

And why doesn't the thought totally disgust you?? Thats a concern. Thats truly a concern. Maybe you've been living with these freak for too long- because your stomach's not rolling; its doing something else. Settling. Like something has been off about your relationship with the hippie sawyer for some-time, and this fixes it. When he gets up, all long limbs and rank breath, and steps in close to you... you stay still. What is happening!???

There's a vulgar grin across his wide mouth and his long, stubbled, unnaturally green-tinted jaw as he leers down at you through his glasses. "You look surprised~ You're my g- girl, right???"

"Actually, I didn't know that we were toge- "

"Well, I always get outta our bed 'for ya wake up! Thats why! ^^"

"... WAIT, you WHAT- "

[littlexscarletxwitch]

── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁

paring: mum!florence pugh x fem!reader

tag(s): fluff, short blurb, flo being a mum, kinda comfort fic

warning(s): grammatical errors, nor proofread, unedited

word count: 0.9k

note: I feel like this could be better, but I literally tried like 4 different ideas and this one is the one that I liked the most. I'm not a native english speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistake. Hope you all enjoy <3

requests are open! + check my rules here + masterlist <3

You and Florence had been seeing each other for six months now. 

The two of you met when she took Billie out for a walk. You were so immersed in reading your book that you didn’t realise the ball of fur heading toward you until it barked right beside you, startling you. And right behind it, Florence came running, shouting at Billie to just stop. 

You were completely mesmerised by her the second you looked at her. She was a sight for sore eyes, you swore you could get lost in her pickle green eyes and all you wanted to do was run your finger through her short soft golden hair. 

The second time you met her at the same park,  you took it as a sign and asked her out. You were nervous, you could also tell she was nervous, even Billie was uneasily moving around. But once you asked her a smile form on her face and immediately said yes. 

The more time you would spend with her, the more you found yourself falling for her. What was odd, though, was the fact that she would never let you come to her home. You would always meet her at a bar or some fancy restaurant. Someday she would stay at your place but leave before the clock hits 11 pm. 

You didn’t think much about it, decided to give her space. But then one night, you wanted to surprise her. So you decided to swing by her place, and that was why you were now knockin on her front door. 

Once she opened the door and met your eyes, a smile formed on her face. But then a second later, the smile just dropped and she closed the door behind her. You were taken aback by the action, not expecting that cold welcoming. 

“Did I forget we had a date?” you could tell she sounded both nervous and worried. 

“No, no, it’s not it. I just wanted to see you. But I guess it is wrong timing. I should probably go…” you trailed off, wanting more than anything for her to tell you otherwise. 

“No, Y/n. I just,” she held you by your wrist, forcing you to stay. Her soft skin against your sent shiver up your spine. “It’s just—,” a sweet soft voice cut her off. 

“Mummy, who is it?”

Your eyes winded the second you took in the words, a little girl opening the door behind Florence. The first thing you noticed was her long blonde hair and her round bottom nose, exactly the same as Florence’s features. 

“Mummy will be right there, baby,” she tried to push her inside, but the kid was fighting back. 

“Who are you?” even though the question was meant for you, it took you a whole minute to answer it. 

You looked at Florence, not sure what to tell the little girl in front of you. You didn’t even know what Florence and you were exactly. You cleared your throat, shaking your thoughts out of your head. 

“I, um,” you looked at the little girl. “I’m a friend of your mum,” you smiled at her. 

“Does that mean you are my friend too?”

“Ophelia…” Florence chimed in, but you stopped her.

“Yeah, as long as that’s what you want,” you kneeled down to be the same height as her. “Would you like to be my friend?” you asked sweetly.

“Only if you come in and play with me, my barbies and I are having a tea party, will you please join us?” she looked at you, the same doe eyes as her mother, except they were bright blue. 

“I love tea parties,” you smiled at her. 

She grabbed your wrist and quickly dragged you to her bedroom. Florence leaned against the door frame, watching you and Ophelia play, and could only chuckled at the sight before her eyes. 

After a few good minutes of an intense tea party, Ophelia decided to watch the telly, giving you the opportunity to finally talk to Florence about this whole thing. 

“I know. I should have told you,” she started before you could even bring up the topic, you could tell she felt guilty about keeping Ophelia from you. “It’s just, I wanted to make sure. I don’t want to bring people into Ophelia’s life if they are just going to leave. I’m sorry Y/n. I really am, it wasn’t fair and I—”

“Hey,” you stopped her, resting your hands on her cheeks so she could look at you. “It’s okay. I get it, you were just protecting her, I can’t blame you for that. I just wished you would have given me a heads up, you know?” you chuckled, but your little joke didn’t make her feel better. 

“Yes, of course, I should have told you. I understand if you want to leave and—”

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s just, a kid is too much, I would understand if you just want to pretend like nothing happen and—”

“Are you kidding me? This is great, Ophelia is great. She is amazing, Flo. You are doing a really good job raising her on your own. I would love nothing more than to get to know her better. I mean, we are friends now,” you smiled at her, caressing her cheek trying to reassure her. 

“Really?”

“Hell yeah! I want you to tell me everything about her,” you kissed her forehead as an unspoken promise that you were going to be the support she needed. 

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3

-M

[witchinatree]

magnus protocol episode 19 ramble

next week's episode is gonna be halfway through season 1.. wonder if it'll be special at all..

ALCHEMY LIKE THE!! THE PROTOCOLS!!! oh i'm so intrigued why would she be researching alchemy..

oh and the magnus institute was researching alchemy

YES DROP IT SAM!!! DROP IT!!! CELIA STOP ENCOURAGING

PROTOCOL? also damn it's one of those old statements, always had a hard time connecting to those in tma

who's gonna tell them the name of the podcast

they could literally be dangling the names of all those old people jonah magnus associated with in front of my face and i'd have no clue

NOT THE DOG WHY THE DOG

opened one eye... like The Eye...

"it saw me and it knew me" oh we're so fucking ba.... don't kill the dog pls

wait something that reverted the affects? like some chemical? something something alchemy something something celia

"you only do that when something's up" alice knows him so well

ARE THE COMPUTERS LISTENING TO US OH MY GOD HE KNOWS.

alice has the right approach but also sam is right in general

poor gwen

very interesting that lena directly tells gwen she could leave.. strikingly different from another business i know..

COLIN OH MY GOD!!!! IT'S BEEN SO LONG MAN!!!! i wonder why alice is there

"you're looking.. here.."

now he's talking about chemistry stuff and oh my god!! oh my god.

what did he mean by "mummy and daddy stasi" ?? his last names becher right??

maybe alice is not right for this actually, she IS being listened to

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

I have a really weird hyperfixation on The Mummy, but not the Boris Karloff or the Brendan Fraser versions, those would be completely acceptable movies to enjoy (and I do so enjoy them)

but I cannot stop thinking about The Mummy 2017 starring Tom Cruise and it's a problem

I love bad movies, I love them so much, I own so many b-grade horror flicks, old classic films with terrible acting and awful special effects, I love absolutely shit tier cgi, I love Ed Wood disasters, I love cult classic bad movies, I love really weird niche bad movies

but this one is like, such a special kind of bad movie, I can't really put my finger on exactly why though?? but I am damn well going to try, in this essay I will-

they fucked up from the get go by casting Tom Cruise, like this movie is sometimes deliberately goofy, but a lot of the time it takes itself very seriously, SO seriously, and I cannot physically take Tom Cruise seriously, he turns every single scene he is in into a joke by virtue of his mere presence

but when they have actual jokes, they are so not funny they cycle back around to being really fucking funny

I am watching this movie fucking whiff every god damn beat it tries to hit and it does it so beautifully it's a god damn marvel

Russel Crowe as Jekyll and Hyde??? I actually somehow missed the part where he introduced himself as Jekyll on my first watch, so the Hyde reveal was a true surprise to me and I was very genuinely disappointed on my second watch when I realised it was not supposed to be a surprise, because that was a really fun reveal

and Russel Crowe seemed to be having an absolute fucking whale of a time as Hyde, I loved every moment he was on screen with his stupid cockney accent, I would watch his movie, I know it would be bad, that's why I want it, because there is nothing quite like a bad movie with an actor still giving 110%

and the mummy character herself? she was supposed to be pharaoh and then her dad had a son with someone else and now this baby is jumping all up in her place like, okay baby murder might not be the coolest thing in the world but like, she's got ambition, she's getting shit done, she's hustlin' like go get it girl I'm rooting for you babe

also when she sucked the life out of some dude and turned him into a shrivelled husk my roommate said 'she could do that to me and I'd thank her' so she's got that going for her, like girl's a half rotten corpse wrapped in decaying bandages and she still slays

and then we have the completely ridiculous female rivalry??? like this mummy could kill this woman SO MANY TIMES and just doesn't???? for reasons?????? like she could literally kill her in an instant at any moment but no they gotta girl fight for a bit because Tom Cruise is at stake and why wouldn't two hot women fight over Tom Cruise right?? right????

nevermind the fact that he has been practically nothing but ✨The WooOOOOooorst✨ to her the WHOLE first act of the movie, oh and uh let's not forget the 'duh huh guy bad at sex' jokes that they just could not put down for a good chunk there (but wait! uh he's good at sex actually she's just being mean because he hurt her feewings)

like, this movie hits every fucking branch of the bad trope tree, this movie is playing bad trope bingo, it is collecting bad tropes like pokemon, it has to have them all

also a really bizarre ongoing American Werewolf in London reference?? it was not unwelcome, it was some of the best comedy in the movie (that is an easy bar to jump btw), the actor had some great wry line delivery, I enjoyed it

I think the biggest issue, and the reason I can't stop chewing on this magnum opus of garbage, is that it reminds me of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, in several different ways

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen also happens to be another of my favourite bad movies, but it falls into the particular genre of bad movies, a fucking cool as shit concept, and some really cool as shit visuals, and some very cool as shit characters, but an absolute swing and a miss on the delivery

The Mummy 2017 starring Tom Cruise has That Vibe to me, there is some cool shit here, we know this because the previous version utilised that cool shit very very well, but this one was the only one who made the villain a woman pursuing a man, and not just any man, the ✨worst✨ man, you did not feel very sorry for this guy, honestly watching him go through the constant torment of being stalked by a bodacious supernatural babe who put a sexy little curse kiss on him was fun, he's a sopping wet little meow meow and I wanna see him thrown at a wall, and I get to see that several times, and it is a delight every time

in the previous movie the mummy went after really likeable characters, people who were just generally nice, a roguish scamp with a heart of gold, or just really hot, seriously that cast was beyond smoking what the fu

I did not like Tom Cruise as a character, and to be fair that was the point, he was supposed to have a redemption arc, the story and his sacrifice at the end were supposed to be about him becoming a better person

but he fucking doesn't??? it's like 'oh boo hoo I have made this great sacrifice and now I am a monster and I did it to save my lady love's life even though we had zero chemistry and I was just ✨The Worst✨ to her' and then he fucks off to go and do the exact same shit he was doing at the start of the movie, fucking around in the desert looking for boy adventures

it was a great ending and I loved it because it was so dumb and also he abandoned the woman he brought back to life to go fuck around with his bro who he also brought back to life, I love that for them, go have some boy adventures you madlads you sure didn't earn it but don't let that stop you, just heterosexually ride off into the sunset together it's fine, she is literally better off without you in every way you made the Correct Decision

and then there's these moments, moments that are treated like big moments, and could be really cool moments, but just don't fucking land

there's a part where Tom Cruise starts talking to the mummy in her own language (they got a psychic bond and shit which is it's own cool little thing we'll get back to that) and everyone is watching like 😮 oooh didn't know he could do that wow there really IS magic bond between them oooh, and it's like a Big Deal and Very Cool

but Tom Cruise just sounds like he's speaking gibberish with a mouth full of novocain???? it doesn't sound cool at all??? it sounds really goofy???? I half expected him to start drooling on himself

then there is the ending, leading lady dies, he completes the ritual to invite the god of death into his body (a fucking baller move honestly), he fights it for control as the mummy attempts to sway the beast inside him to her side, but when he sees his beloved laying dead he fights her off, using his newfound powers to defeat her, and then weeps over his lady love begging for her to wake up

and then as he lets the god inside him loose, a terrible monstrous visage takes him over as he bloodcurdlingly screams in her face WAKE UP!!! and the power within him that he doesn't understand and can barely control listens

she wakes, and sees him hiding in the shadows, unable to face her now that he has become something terrifying

at least that's what I think they thought the scene would be like, it was a little more like, some crappy flashback and speed up effects as he becomes the god of death, a really pathetic and uneventful 1 minute of him fighting for control, after which he has a really pathetic and uneventful 1 minute of fighting the mummy, and then as he screams for his lady love to wake up, we get a shot of some absolutely fucking god awful cgi and the most uninspired monster face I've ever seen

I mean, half seen, it was a very dark shot, in fact most of the movie is shot in the dark, a very blatant attempt to obscure the shithouse cgi

except in one scene where it kinda fucking slapped, where the mummy sucks the life out of some guys, and then reanimates their husky corpses as thralls, the way they stand like jerky unstable puppets being dragged to their feet by unseen strings was actually pretty fuckin' dope and the dark scene obscured the details in just the right amount to make their uncannily decrepit silhouettes appear super creepy

this is the only time that trick works, every other time I just want someone to turn on a fucking torch so I can actually see what the hell's going on

okay now let's get back to that psychic bond thing

our main character was chosen not because he was a descendant, or a reincarnation, or just Looked Real Pretty (although I think she did have the hots for him a leeetle bit which is like, girl raise your standards, it's Tom Cruise, he's about as sexually appealing as a wet potato, you can do better), he had absolutely zero in common with the mummy's original choice for this ritual, in fact that guy was not significant to the story at all, I think he was just some dude who was down for some ritual shenanigans 'cause a hot lady asked him (also he was hotter than Tom Cruise so this is a significant downgrade, I feel like if she had the opportunity to shop around a little she might have picked better)

so Tom Cruise wasn't chosen for any reason other than that he's the one who released her, and she sees this as her way of saying thank you, and I love that, it's real sweet, would love if I opened a door for someone and they repaid me by summoning a god of death into my body, that really shows they care you know?

she gives him a little hallucinatory kissy kiss and then manages to follow him everywhere, while also compelling him to follow her without him really knowing it, there is a very cool part where he's trying to drive away from her, but somehow ends up driving in a circle and falling right back into her clutches, that was cool, that had the potential to even be super fucking creepy, she can manipulate him without him even realising, it doesn't matter where he goes or what he does, he will always somehow find his way back to her, that's so good, I love that

and then back to the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comparisons

The Mummy 2017 starring Tom Cruise established a concept of an organisation who hunt down, collect, and research supernatural phenomena, with a leader (Jekyll) who also has ulterior motives and is actually not really the good guy, this movie was also supposed to be part of a monster movie cinematic universe, so this really could have become like, the Universal Monster Movie equivalent of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and I would have watched the hell out of that, and I am crushed that this movie bombed so bad and ruined the whole plan

like could you imagine a whole series as bad as this movie? all culminating together as the most god awful Avengers style team up? fuuuck I want to live in that universe so bad

I think my fascination comes from this ungodly mix of real pure potential, those fleeting super fucking cool moments and concepts that, if given to literally any other actor, could have really been something, and the just pure insane failure to make literally anything in this plot successfully land a hit

somehow this movie felt like the completely dead and soulless corpse of a cheap party clown, while the ghost of something incredible flickered in its eyes

[gaslightgatekeepgirlbosscombat]

Group A, Round 2, Poll 3:

Propaganda under the cut

GLaDOS

I mean, obviously.

Akane Kurashiki

Zero Escape spoilers! Akane Kurashiki is dead. Died in an incinerator as a child. But she's right here, isn't she? She's talking about mummies and the Titanic and I'm holding her in my arms. But also she's Zero, mastermind who trapped us here and threatened our lives. That guy literally just exploded. But Akane couldn't have done that, she's so sweet and she's so scared. Also she's dead? But wait, she's right here, and she has a fever again.

lied to a group of ppl including her childhood bestie so they'd enter a death game she planned, she's so funny. also later planned another death game to save the earth etc

GASLIGHT: Lies to everyone and pretends to just be an innocent quirky girl when in reality, she is the mastermind behind the situation everyone has been put in. Pretends to be sad and concerned when the bastard who almost killed her pretends to do a heroic sacrifice to get everyone's sympathy. Pretends she's put bombs inside everyone's stomachs. Really, she only put bombs inside the people she wants revenge on. Pretends that she and her brother aren't related. Erases her fiancé's memories and makes him forget he proposed to her so she can go to the moon and stop the outbreak of an apocalyptic virus without him getting in the way. Puts herself into a schrodinger's cat situation where she's both living and dead until you decide what door to walk through. Manipulates her way into a Mars mission program. Makes a guy think he is 45 years younger than he actually is. Pretends she is going to stab two people to force them back in time. Manipulates a child into participating in his father's research so he can act as a spare if necessary. GATEKEEP: A psychic who gains near omniscience in some circumstances, but refuses to explain snything unless it suits her plans. Says ""Only God decides who lives and dies!"" But she kills several people. Perhaps only God and Akane Kurahiki decide who lives and dies. Or maybe they're the same person? Manipulates a woman into breaking up with a man so she can kidnap him and bring him to the moon. Refuses to let her boyfriend meet her when it doesn't suit her plans. Kidnaps two women and puts them into a coma for 45 years. GIRLBOSS: Very willing to kill to achieve her goals or get revenge. Queen of random trivia. Will info dump about her interests whenever it suits her (including when she is trapped in a freezer with two people). If anyone touches a hair on her boyfriend's head she will not hesitate to cut them down with a chainsaw. Stages not one but two mass kidnappings and killing games (that we know of). Great at multitasking, she manged to save her own life and dispose of the people who almost killed her at the same time. Uses her knowledge of the future to manipulate the stock market and become super rich. If that doesn't scream girlboss I don't know what does. Starts her own organisation to fight cult leaders and save the world. Has two nemeses, the CEO of a pharmaceutical company, whose life she completely destroys and a >100 year old cult leader. Co-runs a moonbase where she has command of AIs and robots.

[kkatastrophic]

Danganronpa V3 Chapter 4 Deadly Life Notes:

SPOILERS FROM HERE ON IN!!!!!!!!!!!

--- Investigation:

MIU LOOKS IN SO MUCH PAIN OMG-

And Kokichi sounds so gay when he says "Woah!" like I can't imagine genderbends because he's so goddam fruity.

--- Summary By Completed Investigation:

So Miu tried to kill Kokichi (this is proved because of the setting she added to him, her touching him makes him unable to move), but an error occured on her avatar making the effect of him not being able to move when he touched her the opposite, so they somehow met, and maybe Miu used the phone and pink mobile to teleport between the chapel and mansion.

That was when the killer killed her in-game somehow... she was clearly struggling, so she was strangled somehow... maybe with the toilet paper. The culprit must have used it to climb on and off from the roof BECAUSE MIU SAID NO MATTER HOW FAR IT STRETCHED RUBBER BANDS WERE UNBREAKABLE.

Her avatar had the object setting on, so no matter how far she stretched she couldn't break. That was how she was strangled.

BOOM I DID IT!!!

(Correct/True things highlighted in green)

(Wrong/False/Incorrect things highlighted in orange)

(VERY WRONG/absurd/bad THINGS HIGHLIGHTED IN RED)

The above colour coding is true for the rest of the gameplay this chapter!

The Trial Begins:

--- EATING IT UP!!!

Gonta I love you but stfu "ver-chew-el world" mate please stop I can't spend time explaining this shit to you, I love you alot but stop. :,)

V CUT FIRST TRY BABY WOOHOO!!!!

ALSO, IT WAS THE TP, I WAS RIIIIGHT!!!

--- Himiko Spits Facts:

Himiko: "Killed by toiler paper... it was... a fitting end for her..." <- LMAO NOT HIMIKO CALLING HER A PIECE OF SHITTT BAHAHA.

Also I bought the perk that lets you see V cuts without using influence, and it's really helpful, you guys should use it it's GOOD!

MIU BOUGHT THE HAMMER AND ASKED TO MEET UP WITH KOKICHI, SEE, SHE WAS GOING TO KILL HIM! I WAS RIGHT, SHE WAS GOING TO PARALYSE HIM AND HIT HIM WITH IT!!! I'M SO SMART OH MY GODDD!

PSYCHE TAXI MY POOKIE AUGHHH I LOVE PSYCHE TAXI BEST MINIGAME WOO! (I highkey ate it up, I only hit 1 car.)

Wait this trial is so good wtf omg, I'm only about an hour in but this is so much fun! So creative of Danganronpa!

OH MY GOD TWO PSYCH TAXIS I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH OH MY GOD!!!

--- Intermission:

"Main I'm bushed. I got no motivation at all. And Monophanies period is late."

Okay number ONE: What the fuck, did Monotaro like... erm...

OKAY NUMBER 2: MONOKUMA HAS NO MOTIVATION BECAUSE HIS AND MONOPHANIES CYCLES MATCH UP, That's sometimes how it runs in families. THIS MEANS THE MASTERMIND IS A GIRL!!! THAT'S WHAT MONOTARO WAS SAYING WHEN HE SAID "Mummy... I can't... I feel like I'm remembering something..." HOLY SHIT I WORKED IT OUT GUYS, THE MASTERMIND IS MAKI, HIMIKO OR TSUMUGI!

--- I WORKED IT OUT!!!:

Kokichi knows more then us. What does he know? He didn't do it... but like Byakuya in THH Trial 2, he knows who did. The antagonists always know. Nagito with Teruteru, Byakuya with Mondo, Kokichi with... whoever did this crime...

---

OH MY GOD I THINK I KNOW WHO DID IT, KOKICHI KNOWS MORE THAN US, HE WAS DROPPING HINTS THE WHOLE TIME! IT WAS PROBABLY GONTA!

This is loosely based evidence but buff characters die in chapter four so here:

Himiko: "She (<- talking about Miu) was smart... but also really, really dumb"

Gonta: "N-No say such mean things."

Gonta: "Killing game bad, not Miu"

Gonta: "Miu not bad person. Gonta think we coulda be friends, if things different."

Kokichi: "Nuh-uh. No way, Jose."

Later:

Kokichi: "More importantly, we gotta solve this mystery! Fighting among friends is a waste of time."

That literally contradicts what he just said... but it lines up with exactly what GONTA said. And Kokichi seems to know the whole trial...

--- Me Being an Idiot:

Kokichi calling Shuichi Shumai.

Shumai and Makiroll.

Awe so cute :,)

Monokuma hating Sonic is so uncalled for, what did Sonic do to you?!?!

HELP I ACCIDENTALLY VOTED TENKO INSTEAD OF KOKICHI FOR THE VOTING PANEL OH MY GOD HELP I LOST A HEART FROM THAT TOO-

If Kokichi stutters one more time like that annoying ahh protagonist from "It" I'm going to literally crush him or something I don't know.

"OOH, YOU SO CLUMSY GURLLL!!!" <- He's so gay oh my god-

Goddam liarrr, Kokichi you suspiciousss~

TSUMUGI I LOVE YOU BUT DON'T SPOIL HIS GODDAM LIE-

--- Confession by Kokichi?:

He didn't do it, did he?

He's working with Monokuma?

"Well, then... the culprit is Gonta."

...

What...? He said it so easy... so... simple... is that right? Was I right? What in the world...?

KILLING GAME BUSTERS?! *laughing and crying at the same time*

"WHY I CAN'T BE THE CULPRIT!" oh shit he's gone insane what the fuck.

I KNOW WHY GONTA SAYS HE DIDN'T DO IT (he did kill Miu) IT'S BECAUSE HE GOT THE CORD MIXED UP, THE RED AND BLUE ONE FOR MEMORY AND PHYSICALITY! HE MIXED THEM UP AND DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYHTING FROM THE VIRTUAL WORLD! THAT'S WHY HE WAS SO CONFUSED BEFORE! NOT BECAUE HE'S DUMB, BUT BECAUSE HE'S PHYSICALLY FORGOTTEN!!!

KOKICHI IS BEING SO MEAN, EVEN IF IT IS GONTA THAT'S TOO FAR!

Never comment negatively on somebodies intellectual ability, that's just so cruel...

Kokichi losing his shit... goddam that poor, misunderstood kid. I'm not making him fanon, but he's being truthful and trying to save everybody and nobody believes him... nobody wants to believe him...

Kokichi just moved up in my personal ranking.

--- Well, on that note it's 10pm where I am, I'll finish the rest tomorrow! Less than two hours to go!

Okay gang, welcome... back? No, you read one sentence to get here, welcome ME back!!! /j

Alrighty I googled it and I have about an hour and a half left of this trial, not long! Let's smash it out, whoo!

--- Incriminating Evidence:

Oh I come back to 2 health hearts. And then get the first question wrong, how cute. <3

Oh my gosh Gonta's VA is actually doing really well "Gonta not lying! You need to believe Gonta!!!"

"But... Gonta holds chopsticks with this hand"

"UWAAAHHH! But that's your left hand!!!"

--- Kokichi Being a Little Bitch (we stan him)"

KOKICHI IS EVIL OH MY GOD! Best antag moment.

So I was right... it is Gonta...

"Miu Iruma's killer... is Gonta Gokuhara!" What a powerful line. Goddam Kokichi you served.

AUGHHH ARGUMENT ANAMENT AUGHHH I HATE ARGUMENT ANAMENT!!!

"Gonta, I'm going to look back at the whole case one more time. When you're convinced, you just let me know, alright? Let's end this together." <- SHUICHI IS SO SWEET AHH :(

NGL I love the final case thingy music. Would Miu have gotten away with murder if she had killed Kokichi? Nope. Would I like to see Kokichi dead strangling? Kind of, it'd be interesting.

Shuichi getting eyeliner in his neo-world avatar makes me happy.

And the sign has the word Mirai on it, like SDR2 "Hotel Mirai".

POOR GONTA OH MY GODDD

--- End of the Trial:

I GOT AN A AGAIN, I GOT 249 COINS, I GOT -2000 FOR MISSING AND PERFECT SCORE FOR RETRY (I had 2 hearts for almost all of the trial.)

ALTER-EGO GONTA?! SO CUTE OH MY GOD!!!

"So... Gonta no could save everyone?" Screaming and crying.

"Just... promise Gonta, everyone can forgive eachother and be friends..."

Kokichi: "W-WAIT, PLEASE! I don't want this! Don't go, Gonta!" <- Fuyuhiko, Ishimaru, Shuichi, Aoi energy???

"Gonta love you all" NO NO NO NO NO NOOOO DON'T. I'M GONNA CRY NO PLEASE NONONONONOOOOO :(

--- And the BEST antagonis Award Goes TOOOO!!!

Kokichi Ouma. What the fuck.

I BELIEVED HIS TEARS, HE LIED IN GONTAS FINAL MOMENTS, HE LIED, HE MANIPULATED EVERYBODY, HE WENT INSANE, AND NOW HE'S GONNA DO A TOGAMI AND TELL EVERYBODY KAITOS SECRET???

Put Byakuya togami in a room with this bitch and he does NOT stand a chance.

--- Kaito Being Sick:

KAITO. OH MY GOD HE'S VOMITTING BLOOD AGAIN AND TRYING TO HIDE IT FROM EVERYBODY OH GOD-

(Kaito coughing up blood and dying:

Also Kaito: "My cold just got worse... that's all.")

My Saimota v Kaimaki self is going insane over this plotline guys. (I don't multiship-)

--- End of the Chapter:

KOKICHI WALKING IS SO DRAMATIC...?

Oh Kokichi is red...?

"The world is mine - Kokichi Ouma"

... oh?

--- FINALLY!:

WHAT A CHAPTER! WHAT A FUCKING CHAPTER, HOLY SHIT! I WAS RIGHT ABOUT SO MUCH OF THE CASE, THAT WAS AMAZING, THAT WAS CRAZY WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD I CAN'T EVEN BRO-

V3 is getting really good.

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE TRIAL IN THE WHOLE FRANCHISE, LIKE OMG THIS IS SM BETTER THAN MY PREV FAVOURITES, I LOVE THIS TRIAL SM MORE THAN CHP2 THH AND CHP5 SDR2 OH MY GOD THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD WHAT????

Okay that's all bye guys :3

[invinciblerodent]

.... can the undead also be considered necromancers. this is very important to me right now.

because the Ingellvar background says that Rook was found and raised by necromancers, but I think I'm more entertained by the idea of my Mourn Watch Rook Marcus having been literally raised by the undead.

in Soviet Nevarra, the dead raise you.

(also it tracks, he'd be a dude who is horribly awkward not because he's autistic, but because his mommy is a mummy, and this is the longest conversation he's had with a living person in years.)

(i mean he is also most likely autistic, but that's not why he's awkward.)

[ageless-aislynn]

List 7 comfort films and tag 7 people:

I was tagged by the always ever-awesome @missoliverstark Thanks, hon!

Twilight

Hey, man, don't judge me. 😐

😂 I can't explain it but, if I'm stressed out, I can put on the first Twilight and just chill. It is what it is. 🤷‍♀️

2. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Technically, the entire trilogy fits the bill but I've literally seen Fellowship several hundred times by now. I bought the Special Edition DVD set for Fellowship before I even owned a DVD player, lol! I eventually got to the point where I could not only recite the English dialogue, I could recite the Elvish as well. This movie has been burned into my brain and I wouldn't have it any other way. 🤗

3. The Mummy (1999)

I'm not saying I've watched this movie a lot but... well, I wore out my VHS copy. The image literally faded out in places. It's one of the few, if possibly only movies that I own in 3 formats: VHS, DVD and Blu-ray. Considering how much I adore it, I'm floored that I've never actually vidded it yet. Oh well, there's still time; I mean, an Ardeth Bay tribute to "I'm Sexy and I Know It" would totally work, right? 😇

4. Ladyhawke

This one has proved redonkulously hard to find a decent transfer on DVD or Blu-ray, so I haven't seen it in ages. That said, it's another I watched SO many times on VHS and it's definitely one of the formative movies of my life. 😍

5. Beauty and the Beast

I enjoyed the live action version as well but I'll give it to the classic animated version for this reply because I've seen it more. 🤗

6. Godzilla vs Kong

Okay, so is a giant radioactive lizard and a giant gorilla beating the stuffing out of each other supposed to be a comfort movie? Probably not but it's just one I enjoy watching when I want to kinda chillax, so... 🤷‍♀️😂😉

7. Star Wars

Technically, Empire Strikes Back is the one of the original trilogy I tend to default to but I've seen A New Hope and Return of the Jedi a lot as well. Any of them just takes me back to a simpler time as well as reminds me where my love of fictional scoundrels comes from. 😉

Honorable mentions:

TRON/TRON Legacy, Labyrinth, Terminator/T2: Judgment Day, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV and Warm Bodies. Yes, I have weird tastes and odd ideas as to what makes a comfort movie, lol! 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️😉

No pressure tags: @coleishere @ghostslillady @authortobenamedlater @mrtobenamedlater @sarnakhwritesthings @helplessdreamersworld @fandomdancer @brianllama

And yes, I lost count but who even cares, right? 😛😂 Also, if you're reading this and would like to share your comfort movies, I'd absolutely love for you to! Please accept this as an official tag from me! *boops your nose politely* 💖🤗

[toomuchracket]

matty had to go out for the day for some reason right after baba was born (maybe 10 days to 2 weeks after and he hated it and tried everything in his power to not have to go). when he came home maybe she’s napping while baba is napping, which he is very thankful for because you’ve had all the late night feedings and he was getting worried about you not sleeping and cursing his parts that were useless. Then he probably maybe spends the rest of the time watching his babes sleep until baba starts to stir but he thinks you should sleep some more, so he takes baba and entertains until you wake up actually feeling refreshed and when she goes to find him she probably finds him being the dilfiest of dilfs

yeah omg so your first baba is literally 2 weeks old and matty gets a call from george talking about some drama going on with production and BEGGING him to come into the studio for a little bit to help sort it. and matty's like :(( about even the thought of leaving you and the baba for a little bit of time, especially because you've been up for so many night feeds and missing out on sleep (i absolutely believe that matty would get up with you for most of them, though - there are times when you send him back to bed because it makes no sense for you both to be lacking in sleep) and his plan for the day was to let you nap as much as possible and he'd look after baba. but you both know george wouldn't ask matty to go in unless he really had to, so off matty pops.

and the work at the studio is fine, it's nothing too strenuous but it definitely needed a bit of trial and error/problem solving to get right, but matty is bordering on grumpy the whole time because he would absolutely rather be at home with his girls. everyone knows this, and they're very appreciative of him coming in - they all ask about the baba and matty brightens up and gushes about her to anyone who'll listen. he gets home earlier than expected, mid-afternoon, and he comes in to find the baba fast asleep in her crib in your bedroom with you struggling to keep your eyes open on your bed beside her. and matty's over at you immediately like "hi, sweetheart, i'm home" and you give him the cutest sleepy smile and hug him and ask how his day was, and matty's like "hated it. i mean it was fine. but i would rather have been here. how have you and baba been?" and you tell him she's been good as gold, all her feeds were fine (she's just had one right before he came in), and you've both been very sleepy today. and matty says "darlin', i think you should have a little sleep, catch up on what you missed during the night feeds", and you kinda protest like "but i want to spend time with you i missed you :((" and matty's like "i'll be here when you wake up, baby, i'm just worried that you're not sleeping enough. go to sleep for me, yeah?" and you're like ok and give him a kiss and then fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow lol. and matty just looks at his girls for god knows how long, thinking about how much he loves you both and how much baba looks like you (like looking at you asleep you literally have the same face lol) and what she might be like when she grows up, and it's all just so peaceful. then baba starts to stir, moving her tiny little arms and beginning to mewl, so matty goes over and scoops her up before she can wake you with her noises like "shhh, princess, we don't want to wake mummy up, not when she's just fell asleep! but you and i can hang out for a bit, that sound alright? yeah, let's go for a little walk". and he carries her downstairs and just chats to her softly as she wakes up against his chest, tiny hand resting against his tattoo 😭 and matty literally just does not stop talking to her for ages, baba just looking at him intently with her sparkly eyes like yours. even when he's changing her nappy, he's talking like "you are so tiny and yet you can be so stinky... that's probably from me actually i think your uncle george has described me using those adjectives before. but you're so cute, my beautiful little baba". and then once she's all cleaned up and comfy, i think baba gets a bit wriggly, so matty lies her down on her playmat on the floor in the living room and leans on one elbow hovering over her, and she's just wiggling about like she's dancing and he sings (idk what song) to accompany her and she has so much fun!! and i think that's when you come in and find them - you woke up feeling GREAT, very well-rested, and you could hear matty singing. so you kinda hang around in the doorway watching them - matty's singing and giggling and saying "oh, i think you're going to be musical too, aren't you? like daddy? that's so cool i'm going to teach you how to play instruments when you get a bit bigger. or maybe you'll be a dancer, wriggling around like that. we'll put you in classes if you want! whatever you like, yeah?", and he's just so enthusiastic and looking down at your daughter so lovingly, and also that one curl is just hanging perfectly over his face and his muscles are all tensed from holding himself up with one arm and you're like... my husband is such an excellent father and also a TOTAL DILF i am winning at life lol <3

[urlsaremeaningless]

collection of funny things people I know have said (part 2)

Feel free to change pronouns as needed <3 have fun! please reblog this if you enjoy it.

whats art without a little bit of OSHA violations

Ten-nessee implies the existence of nine-ssee

Mary-land must have been Mary-sea

While we're still here, whoop his ass too

their new companion Space Turtle, Hero from Space that they picked up after a drunken college party

That’s more of an ask than you think

We will let you fuck the monsters but I’m drawing the line at buildings

If you ignore all the ugly parts, it looks kinda nice

there was definitely gay love in there...somewhere

That’s like asking a beaver the size of his wood

I want to be in a hospital in Canada or France! Oui, oui, ow

Sir, do you know how fast your wheels were gyrating?

your honor, my client is in goblin mode

No mine isn’t a fun fact. It’s about animal abuse.

If an eel isnt just a snake fish then idk what is lol

..................where is the CORN STORE?!

thats like calling the tamborine the shakey wakey or the tuba the blowey blowey

I thought that said turn [name] into a mommy for a sec and I got real concerned for what was happening in this chiles tonight. Doesn’t mummy in retrospect sound less alarming now?

what THE FUCK is HALLOWS OF WEENS?!

He’s not giving the boobs their due diligence

I haven't seen any beer cans in a while and i'm getting concerned

It makes my nostrils feel lemony fresh

Wow, these people don’t know how milkshakes work…. Idk how we’re gonna get the boys to the yard

You’re like high fiving god right now

OSHA violations are like warcrimes for working people

I'm sorry, did you just say the dead baby has charisma?

cannibalism confirmed 13/10

Well, I could throw babies into an incinerator. That would be unforgettable, doesn't mean it's GOOD

[Person A] is the main character but okay [Person B] sure

shit!...i just killed someone

Oh shut the fuck up, no you're fucking not

...so like....is pluto a slave?

Corner cobbler corn cob, that’s where corner cobbler is on the corn cob-corn corner corn cobbler

If Charlie can be short for Charles, then Carly can be short for Carles

If shorten Charles to Chuck, then what can you shorten Carles to?

How do we Othello you?

look man, I'm just saying... who the fuck says 'yeah I want a bar of milky way,' like they're not gonna pick literally any other chocolate

The vibe I get is like you're a fancy butler by day but you have a rave later tonight