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#i may be actively disintegrating
fishthegenderwitch · 8 months
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PINK! AHH!
I got three things yesterday that made my life way more able to do some stuff for me
I got a higher-than-expected paycheque;
I got my GST;
I got another gov't amount from ??? somewhere? Not gonna question it
As a result, I JUST BOUGHT A TICKET TO SEE P!NK IN CONCERT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
I've loved P!nk since I was 19, that woman's helped me survive to this age, I'm finally going to get to see her in cONCERRRRRRT!
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yandereunsolved · 4 months
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✐ᝰ Yandere Clark Kent 'Superman' ᝰ.ᐟ
Alien, farmer, reporter, superhero, and Justice League member are all titles Clark has collected over the years. They stretch from the most mundane to the ones that are given the highest respect. All of these titles pale in comparison to the one he yearns for the most: to be your husband. Every one of his positive traits seemed to disintegrate when it came to you, his accomplishments and status along with them. He was simply Clark to you, not Superman or Kal-El.
He was nothing but a love-sick maniac at your feet. His obsession threatens to break the moral code he is so devoted to. He understands that his attraction to you is something unhealthy and taboo. He is a beacon of light in the darkness of the world. Yet he'd be willing to blind the entire world with light just to be acknowledged by you. He'd cut out his own heart and present it in a gift box with a red bow if it'd please you.
You—just a human reporter who works at the Daily Planet. You who lives in a small studio apartment. You who has aspirations of doing something greater than just writing opinion pieces. You who has captured the noble hero's heart. 
You, you, you, you, you, you, you.
He can't get enough.
He doesn't get enough of you. You seem to actively avoid him. You interact with Lois so cordially; you two are close friends. He works with Lois. Why are you giving him the cold shoulder?
He knows everything about you. He knows your favorite restaurant, where you go to de-stress, your schedule, your hobbies, and your fantasies. He's spent so much time learning about you. You've learned nothing about him except for the fact that he's your dorky, sweet co-worker.
"Are you staring at them again? How long have you been staring at them? Why do you keep staring at them? Do you have a crush on them!?" Lois interrogates him with that same curiosity kindling in the back of her violet eyes.
He could demolish buildings in an instant, but he couldn't control his pale complexion from being invaded by a red hue. He had to think for a moment. His words had become lost in his mind, like they had been dispersed among the cosmos. He stuttered at first. It felt so out of character for him. He always, well, almost always, knew what to say. 
He had to be careful around her. He's lucky that he has been clever enough to keep his obsessive tendencies under wraps until Lois leaves his side.
"I just want to know why they refuse to talk to me." His words were laced with truth. Still, he was dodging her questions, as always.
Lois huffs in irritation, like he just said the most asinine thing one could ever utter.
"They obviously like you. They just think you're way out of their league."
"What?" He deadpans.
"I never give you the inside scoop about your darling little crush, but this one time I may." She teases him. "Clark, they like you. The googly eyes you two make at each other are such an obvious indication that you both are totally whipped for each other."
"You're serious?" His pupils dilate to such an extensive degree that you would have thought he was getting them checked by an optometrist. A lump forms in this throat, twice the size of his Adam's apple. "They like me?"
"They more than like you. They are interested in you, and you should totally ask them out on a date. I have to help a friend out, y'know? You two would make such a cute couple." Lois's pitch in her voice had become so much higher; even with her evident giddiness, there was an undertone of sulleness.
"Hey!" Lois calls you over. She waves her arm around and points towards Clark.
You scurry over in your flattering work outfit. It wouldn't be appropriate for him to eye you like a forbidden sweet. Still, he could feel his clothes grow tighter and his palms become sweaty. You couldn't even look him in the eyes. He wanted to gently tilt your chin up so your eyes would meet his. He'd eat a lump of kryptonite just for you to glance at him with that love-lorn expression. If only you knew, he could show; no, he has to show—
"You and him are going to go undercover in a local cafe a few blocks from here." He's snapped from his never-ending supply of thoughts about you. "It's supposedly a cover for a notorious drug cartel. Your cover story will be that you're a young couple going out on a date."  
You glance at Lois and eagerly nod. His words don't register your reply, but from Lois's grin, you obviously said something along the lines of yes. You walk off once again, your eyes sweeping across the aged carpet covering the office floor. Once out of hearing distance, Lois turns back to him.
"You're welcome. You owe me one." Lois nudges him in the side.
He could die a happy man now.
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I don't normally scream about other people's rottmnt au on here, but @somerandomdudelmao 's Cass Apocalypse Au is driving me up the wall, and I have words!!
Everyone who is reading the series knows it is currently in the process of Casey Jr. resurrecting his uncle/dad's.
Theory Time!
First off, let's go into why Casey can do this.
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Yes, Cass has confirmed that the memory spell that was used was mixed with a time travel one. Thus, using one's memory's as a gateway to not only traverse time but dimensions.
However, Casey Jr. is able to see spirits when he does this but also remains physically in the present - which leads me to think that he is being astroprojected across time and space as a literal spirit. Hence why he can visit his memories and the past without altering the events on a physical level. As a spirit, Casey Jr. can see and engage with other spirits in existence at that time.
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In the powers of spirit to spirit interaction, he is the only person alive who can literally pull other spirits through dimensions. With his body anchored in one time branch and his memories anchored in the other one, Casey Jr. Is the literal bridge for spirits to cross from one to the other.
No matter the condition of the spirit.
Theory #2
Cass has shown us F.Mikey communing with his ancestors when Donnie originally pasted on. It also was largely suspected the krangg could destroy ninpo and spirits.
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With the Hamatos, spirits and ninpo are consister linked if not one. So, of course, when Casey Jr. travels back to his past in his time branch and is able to intact and unintentionally pull Donnie's disintegrating spirit into and out of time with him; Casey Jr. effectively saved Donnie's ninpo. Immediately after his recuse, Donnie admits that his NINPO is in shambles and that he is doing everything in his power to hold it together.
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With this confirmation in mind, let's have a look at the conditions surrounding the other turtles' ninpos and spirits.
First off, Raph
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Raph's spirit and ninpo were perfectly healed and intact with in the robot body Donnie created for him. The only thing is that Raph's 'body' could be turned activated or shut down. Like a Fullmetal Alchemist parallel, Raph's soul, spirit, and ninpo are housed within a metal container. In episode two or three, when Casey Jr. found the robot, Raph was reactivated after an emergency shutdown that lasted YEARS.
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His ninpo and spirit woke up. Know that, shutting himself down again to allow his generator to be redirected as a power source would not kill Raph but rather put him to sleep. He would never die but remain suspended for all time, trapped in his metal shell until someone reactivated him.
This made Raph not only be the easiest but most accessible spirit for Casey Jr. to rescue. Raphs' spirit would have remained there, in perfect condition, for however long it took for Casey to get to him.
Now, let's look at Mikey.
This old mystic warrior was the most in tune and most powerfully adept with his abilities. Drained he may have been, Mikey said that opening a time gateway would use whatever he had left. His mystic powers and ninpo are linked. Opening the time gateway was a strain on his spirit, his ninpo. He was literally splintering apart as he opened the portal. In Mikey’s moment of death, he pushed the last of his ninpo in the portal. His ninpo burst like a firework.
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At this point of this written theory, Mikey's has not been rescued.
This leads me to speculate the condition and difficulty of said rescue for one Casey Jr. Mikey's soul is untrained by Krangg's chemical warfare, so it is not in danger of disintegrating but nor is his soul bound to a metal shell, his spirit is actually free to reform and rejoin his Hamato clan.
This leaves Casey Jr. vary little time to connect with Mikey's spirit. There is the option that he will witness Mikey's ninpo shattering into a million pieces. However, he may also be witness to Mikey's ninpo, in stark contrast to Donnie rapidly decaying ninpo spirit, pull back together. In glorious younger self. All golden and whole.
All that training and usage of his ninpo would have given his spirit and ninpo the ability to reform faster than one that was infected with a ninpo-distorying illness. This moment, where Mikey spirit lingers before ascending or choosing to join with his ancestors, Casey would have to approach.
Then again... Mikey could also rather stick around and wait for Leo to join him.
Option 2 is that when Mikey explodes, Casey Jr. would have to act fast to catch the ninpo pieces upon explosion. I like option number one a lot better.
Regardless, Mikey could be a time sensitive rescue. Mikey is quite literally a wild card in this realm.
This brings us to Leo.
Can you see where I'm going with this?
It's not a secret that Casey has related to Younger Leo about how his future self was a shield for Mikey's ninpo.
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F.Leo is shown to have sacrificed the use of his ninpo, or lack there of, to draw the Kranggs apparently one-time-use ability to lock or damage ninpo/magic on to himself to free Mikey to mystically blast Kranggs to oblivion. In contrast to Mikey's fully intact Hamato ninpo, Leo's utterly demolished ninpo is in full view for us to see .
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How it got way we can only speculate - but it may have been sacrificed to help Mikey originally and never fully recovered. F.Leo even claimed once, after using his ninja skills of speed to confuse and irritate Krangg into using that ninpo destroying sonic wave they have, that he had no magic or anything for them to destroy.
So here is the thing. If a Hamato spirit and ninpo are one in the same... where does this leave Leo's spirit? His soul? His ninpo? It's all in pieces, broken, destroyed. Claimed to no longer exist. But the pieces remain.
They are pieces in a container. Like how Raph's spirit and ninpo were contained in metal, Leo's broken ones were still collected together within his living body.
So what happens when Leo's body is incinerated by that krangg's beam death? Like his twin, Leo’s spirit has been affected by the krangg and was unable to heal. There is no holding himself together here. He is most likely already like clear glass like pieces on the breeze or scattering in the wake of the after math. Destined to fade from existence.
He's the most likely to join his Hamato ancestors immediately, but without the ability to pull his ninpo together on his own, Leo would take time to reform with the Hamoto Clans help.
If Casey is to save Leo's ninpo and spirit at all, he would have to find away to collect the pieces of Leo's shattered ninpo once the beam hits.
Another problem, if Kraggs technology has the effect of destroying one's spirit, Casey's astroprojected spirit could be in danger if that death beam gets too close. He wouldn't be able to save his sensai and himself if that is in the way and active.
Saving Leonardo's shattered spirit and ninpo would not only be near impossible, but a definite risk to Casey Jr.'s own spirit. Astroprojecting his spirit still puts put's his life in clear physical danger of coming in contact with spirit damaging tech. Saving any remnant of his sensai's spirit and ninpo is going to acquire a plan. Or dumb luck.
That being said... Donnie is our evidence that even in pieces, Leo could be saved. Casey Jr. would have to get dangerously close to the death beam. That or stand among the lingering pieces of Leo's soul as they float for a moment in the aftermath. In any instance, all Casey Jr. would need to do is come in contact with any of these spirit partials, and they would all be sucked up in to him.
Unfortunately, I'm not sure Leo's broken spirit would be overly responsive to any of Casey' Jr. 's concerned shouts, if at all. But Casey would be able to feel him.
On returning to the present, we know from Donnie that krangg effects are left behind. This would result in two ways of Leo being resurrected.
1. On returning to the present, Casey would scramble for the cloning tube and instantly deposit the ninpo fragments. Leo would return with a new body shell for his broken bits. In this case, Leo would probably be comatose for a good long while until his pieces, now cleansed from anything krangg, reform and heal in safty.
2. Leo's ninpo is too weak to transfer into his clone and takes refuge in Casey instead until his cleansed ninpo pieces find a way to pull together. Maybe with help from Mikey?
Also, could Casey house two Hamato souls at once? Since Mikey and Leo practically died at the same time.
Because to wrap horribly long theory thread, I would almost expect a spirit Mikey to tell Casey's to grab Leo first then come back for him as Mikey's spirit is safe in the aftermather of the death beam. If Casey housed two Hamato spirits at once (headache just thinking about it), then Mikey mystic warrior aspect could collect and even help mend Leo's shattered ninpo.
But in conclusion, F. Leo is the most at risk and dangerous Hamato spirit to rescue. Logic states that there would be a possibility that F.Leo may never get rescued and be a lonely turtle spirit with his ancestors after. However, this is Cass's Au and Donnie of all people is defying logic. So I predict that some kind of Dumb Luck option from above will be Leo's saving grace. I just feel Casey Jr. is going to have a few singe marks on his soul to tell about when all this is said and done.
TL:DR - Raph was the easiest turtle to rescue as his spirit was stuck in a tin can. Mikey is a wild card in terms of spirit condition, but saveable on a time limit. Leo is the most riskiest and dangerous to save with a broken ninpo.
Casey Jr. and Donnie have no fear.
Live on future turtles!
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ezekiel-krishna · 5 months
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7th Lord in All Houses [ Spouse/Marriage, Partnerships & Public ]
Part 1 .. { Vedic Astrology }
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⇝ Your Guide to Check Your Placement (Vedic Astrology)
1st Step ⇨ Go to Vedic Astrology Calculator
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2nd Step ➚ Enter Your Details & Press { Calculate Sidereal Chart }
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3rd Step ⇨ Find the 7th House Ruler as per the {Sign & Symbol}
"Example here , 7th House is Ruled By Libra & Its Lord is Venus which is in 8th House thus Your [ 7th Lord is in the 8th House. ] "
7th Lord in 1st House
Here, the focus is on you when it comes to partnerships, and it all depends on the characteristics of your 7th lord. If you have a malefic planet like Saturn, Mars, Rahu[North Node], or Ketu[South Node] as the lord of your 7th house, and it is positioned in the 1st house, it can be quite challenging. In this situation, you may become a bit selfish, prioritizing your own interests over your spouse's. Partnership and marriage hold great significance for you, as you always seek companionship. You don't want to be alone, and you constantly attract new people into your life whenever you need them. So, how do you find your ideal partner?
Typically, you actively search for your spouse, either by physically going out and meeting new people or by utilizing online dating platforms. Through these means, you take control of your desire to find a partner. You are a diligent individual who puts in hard work, whether it's in finding a spouse or running a business. You dedicate your full attention to the task at hand. However, you can be quite demanding of your spouse. With the seventh lord in the first house, you possess a passionate nature. You have an intense desire to have a partner, and you are willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen. You are a savvy businessperson, making you highly entrepreneurial. However, you may find it challenging to work well with others, so it's likely better for you to work for yourself.
When the 7th lord is positioned in the 1st house, there can be potential business issues within partnerships. However, despite these challenges, there are certain factors that can help maintain a strong relationship. One important aspect is the shared background and similar origins between partners. Coming from the same area or having a similar cultural background can create a sense of unity and understanding. Additionally, building a home together and living under the same roof becomes a top priority, emphasizing the importance of creating a stable and nurturing environment.
It is natural to desire someone who will be there for you and provide support. However, this can sometimes lead to a slight selfishness, as the focus shifts towards personal enjoyment and security. When the 7th lord is a benefic planet like Venus, Moon, Jupiter, or Mercury in the 1st house, it can enhance cooperation, but there may still be a playful tendency present. On the flip side, there is a possibility of being manipulative, rude, and engaging in mind games with your spouse. This behavior poses a genuine threat to the relationship and should be approached with caution. Matters such as joint bank accounts, tax issues, inheritance, and purchasing a house together can become particularly challenging when the 7th lord is in the 1st house.
Interestingly, I have observed that individuals with this placement often live in their partner's property without actually owning it jointly. Negotiating these financial factors requires careful consideration, and sometimes the involvement of in-laws from either side can further complicate the situation. Without trust, genuine sharing, and openness, the relationship can quickly disintegrate. It is important to address any minor health issues that may arise for either partner, as they can potentially escalate into major crises that threaten the stability of the relationship.
7th Lord in 2nd House
When the 7th lord enters the 2nd house, you may find yourself torn between multiple relationships or constantly delaying the decision of choosing the perfect spouse for yourself. However, if this placement is well-aspected, you can expect to experience significant financial gains and enjoy a luxurious lifestyle. Your financial security is closely tied to your marriage, and this placement also enhances your sensuality, making you a passionate and pleasure-seeking individual. Interestingly, you may even meet your future spouse through activities related to the second house, such as dining out or within your close-knit family circle. These early environments and experiences play a significant role in shaping your potential partner.
It is crucial for you to have a strong financial bond with your spouse, as financial security holds great importance to you. You are not willing to enter into any relationship that lacks financial stability, as the mere thought of an uncertain financial future can be quite daunting. It is quite likely that you will find yourself drawn to crisis situations, either by working in professions that deal with them or by attracting a spouse who is involved in such fields. This may include professions like doctors, nurses, counselors, psychotherapists, astrologers, or individuals who work with people going through challenging times.
To safeguard the marriage when the seventh lord is in the second house, engaging in creative activities, sharing hobbies, or learning together is key. These activities will help maintain the relationship. On the other hand, threats to the marriage include traveling to foreign lands separately or pursuing higher education individually. Sometimes, even gurus, teachers, or mentors can negatively impact the relationship.
In order to strengthen the relationship, it is important to involve either your or your spouse's father in a supportive role. Harmony with the father is crucial. Building wealth together and focusing on material growth are essential for the relationship to thrive. Without a sense of material progress, the relationship may struggle. This placement is excellent for business endeavors.
7th Lord in 3rd House
When the 7th lord enters the 3rd house, things can get a little tricky. This house is associated with Mars, making it a competitive and challenging environment, which may not always be conducive to intimate relationships. One thing to watch out for is potential issues with your children or the children in your life, especially your sons.
Interestingly, there is a strong karmic and spiritual connection between you and your partner. You are likely to meet your potential spouse while traveling, studying, pursuing higher education, or in the presence of a guru, teacher, or mentor. These are the environments where you are most likely to find your significant other. The key to a successful relationship in this case is to share a deep spiritual bond. It is important for both of you to have similar philosophies, moral values, and religious beliefs, as this will strengthen your connection. If not, misunderstandings and conflicts may arise.
Interestingly, the people who serve you as subordinates or employees in your home or workplace can actually benefit your relationship. They will help protect the reputation of your relationship, and even having pets together can bring you closer. Engaging in fitness and health activities together can also help solidify your relationship. In fact, you may even meet a potential spouse while participating in these activities. Additionally, younger siblings may play a role in introducing you to a potential partner, as the 3rd house is associated with them.
Even when you are traveling, especially in foreign lands, there is a possibility of meeting a spouse. The deepest desire when the 7th lord is in the 3rd house is to find someone who shares your philosophical understanding and deep religious wisdom. Ultimately, you strive to be dharmic and do the right thing, regardless of how things turn out. When the 7th lord is in the 3rd house, the main threat to the marriage or partnership is the interference of work and career. It's crucial not to mix personal and professional life by discussing your spouse at work. Keeping your relationship private can prevent any potential issues from arising in your career.
Avoid mentioning your partner in any work-related conversations to maintain a healthy balance between your personal and professional life. By following this advice, you can ensure a harmonious and spiritually fulfilling relationship. This placement is particularly beneficial for business individuals, as the 3rd house signifies competition, negotiation, and sales. Those with this placement may excel in sales roles and could find success in foreign markets.
7th Lord in 4th House
When the 7th Lord resides in the 4th house, it signifies that your spouse is somehow influenced by you. You possess a talent for subtly guiding your spouse to look up to you. This doesn't necessarily have to be a negative thing. In fact, it often results in having a loyal and obedient partner who craves deep emotional security. Your spouse sees you as an authoritative figure and respects you. This dynamic may seem a bit unconventional in terms of gender roles, but it's the reality of the situation. This placement also indicates that you are intelligent and well-organized. It's a great position for those in business, as it enhances your skills and talents, allowing you to excel in your career.
Your ultimate goal is to achieve recognition, success, and status. You are driven and ambitious, and you are likely to attract a spouse who shares these qualities. You are a hard worker and appreciate a partner who is equally dedicated. Chances are, you will meet your spouse while working, regardless of the setting - be it at home, in the office, or elsewhere. One of the key factors that helps you both maintain a strong relationship is venturing into business together. I've witnessed firsthand how this can be an excellent way to nurture and sustain your bond. Engaging in any form of bartering, buying, selling, or simply being in the company of others can often have a positive impact on your relationship.
However, it's important to note that trust and sharing play a crucial role. While some relationships can endure with minimal trust and sharing, this dynamic won't work in this particular scenario. The potential threat to your relationship lies in the influence of social circles, organizations, societies, and even friendships. These external factors can pose a risk to the harmony between you and your spouse. On a different note, a special blessing that arises from this situation is the opportunity to prioritize fitness and healthy eating together, which can work wonders for your relationship.
Nevertheless, if there are any negative aspects at play, you might unintentionally put excessive pressure on your spouse to maintain a healthy lifestyle. This could potentially lead to conflicts, so it's important to be mindful of this dynamic.
...Stay Tuned For Part 2...
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seat-safety-switch · 9 months
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Rust is my most hated nemesis. I have stared more than once into the crumbling mess of red death that was, long ago, a pristine steel panel. Many evenings have been spent cutting out rust, only to find more rust, and cutting out that rust only to find yet more rust. Everything on my car is actively trying to return to the earth, but I won't let it.
Maybe you're lucky enough to only own new cars, or so absolutely fortunate that you live somewhere that cars don't rust even when they get scratched. If that's the case, you can pretend that the rest of this story is actually talking about croissants. Croissants are delicious, rich, and buttery, and I'd probably have learned how to make them myself if I didn't spend what my Daytimer® estimates is three-quarters of my waking life fixing body and structural rust on my harem of shitbox cars.
For years, car folks have been lured by a series of snake-oil paints, oils, dyes, dips, and other formulations that promise to help prevent rust. Virtually all of them are horseshit: elaborate scams produced by an industry that knows they have a desperate customer, just like parachute companies. The most effective rust prevention is to hose your car down with lanolin, which is a sort of wax you make by crushing up sheep. It works well, but the trick is doing it every year, forever, perfectly, until you miss a spot and your car disintegrates at highway speed, like a sand castle being hit by an errant volleyball.
If you talk to someone rich, they propose simply driving a bad car in the winter, and keeping your good cars cooped up. This is impossible for me: not only do I have exclusively what the rich would call "bad" cars, but I feel shrieking agony every time I am destroying any vehicle at all through my carelessness and malice. That is, of course, unless I am racing the car, in which case it is understood by all involved that dying in battle is the most noble way for the car to ascend to Valhalla. There is no honour in scrapping a car because the rear subframe prolapsed on your way to work, so I enter my most precarious vehicles in ice racing in order to give them a good end-of-life experience.
Unfortunately, it turns out that the gaping rust holes reducing the weight of the chassis, and my devil-may-care attitude bumping rivals off the lake in fact is the secret formula to produce winning race cars. Now, I'm not as rich as your Inoues or your Sennas, but the $50 gift certificates to the local tire place really add up. I hear they've got anti-rust underbody spray, which seems like a good thing to do to whatever chunks of cars I can frantically weld together this summer in the few weeks before the leaves turn again. The cycle of life.
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y-rhywbeth2 · 8 months
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So, having brought up the headcanon that Durge is sustained by Jergal's essence rather than Bhaal's in the "redemption" ending, there are two options.
The first is that since Bhaal's divine essence is technically a loan from Jergal, Jergal has simply taken it back - it's still the essence of death/murder, but not tied to Bhaal's will. Bhaal can no longer force Durge to act to his will. Jergal can but he tends to be more subtle and doesn't pull his puppets' strings until he "needs to". So in this scenatio Durge is as they ever were, but with apparent free reign of themselves.
The other possibility is that Bhaal fully removed himself from Durge and it was replaced by Jergal's divine essence as God of Fatalism [+orderly death/order in death, proper burial, guardian of tombs, and protection of the names of the dead]. Considering the soul is tied to Bhaal's essence... is this the same soul? The body is still of Bhaal's flesh, it contains his essence still, but it may turn out that this is actually a brand new divine soul shaping itself to the memories...
Regardless of whichever scenario this is, Durge is tied to Jergal rather than Bhaal. Whereas Bhaalspawn are dragged off to Gehenna to join Bhaal, it's most likely that Durge is tied to the Grey Wastes or the Fugue Plane and upon death will disintegrate and possibly reform there.
What are the side effects? Do they stay the same as the regular murderous faire, or are we looking at new ones that come from carrying around a portion of the god of fatalism, causing Durge to manifest his traits?
Has the urge to slay been replaced by a distressing propensity for dead, creepy calm?
Does Durge have an innate connection to the Negative Energy plane now?
Predicting the deaths and afterlives of people you make eye contact with? Can they catch glimpses of a person's life and deeds as a kind of casting divine judgement upon the soul thing?
Bhaalspawn life draining effects wouldn't change much, even though Durge doesn't display any in game.
Do they creep out the living and cause fatigue with their very presence?
I hope they still say weird shit, but instead of the usual murder-murder-murder it's announcing dark fates upon people in the flattest, most indifferent voice ever. Like "thy wheel of fate turns ever to the dark" while there's a party going on about you. - like this: "[Jergal's] tone was deceptively bland and his demeanor excessively formal, even if his words portended horrors unimaginable."
...Ironically Durge is still the vessel of a god obsessed with the end of the world; Jergal just happens to be cataloguing it as it happens, accepting it at its own pace, rather than actively painting the world red. And he expects no grandkids, which is a massive plus.
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wangxianficfinder · 8 months
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Fic Finder
Feb 1st
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1. Hey! Thank you so much for your hardwork!
So I've been looking for this fic for days now, I just cant find it. I can't remember if Wwx is the omega but its an abo fic where wwx had 4 children i think. And he thinks theyre all dead but theyre not. He definitely had 2 daughters? Or was it one? But basically there was this scene where they all reunited in the jingshi and they were crying.
Can somebody help me find this fic please? THANK YOU :") @losing-victor
FOUND! I think the fic for #1 of the most recent Fic Finder, where WWX has kids and they reunite in the Jingshi, may be Like The Butterfly by Setari (T, 18k, wangxian, WIP, Fix-It, Not Everyone Dies AU, Next Generation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Unresolved Emotional Tension) on AO3. It’s part of a series ‘The Wei Family’, with three stories total.
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2. Hello all! I am looking for a fic where Wei Wuxian is blind and the Jiang he grew up with know but the Lans don’t know until the lectures when Lan Qiren yells at Wuxian for taking sloppy notes and he is like “I can’t see, how can I tell if my writing is sloppy?” It is not “Close Your Eyes, Feel My Heartbeat” by ThatDesiGirl, I just reread it to check. Any guesses? Thank you!
FOUND? The Darkness Before Dawn by PsycheStellata707 (M, 113k, WIP, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, BAMF WWX, Time Travel, Attempt at Humor, PTSD, Oblivious WWX, WWX-centric, Blind WWX, Sentient Burial Mounds, Self-Indulgent, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Oblivious Pining, Not Canon Compliant)
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3. Hi; for fic finder, could you help me find shapeshifter!WWX fic? Its an old fic. Its a series too i think (3 fic with the first in the series completed and the second part is WIP). I think its tiger WWX (not sure). After WC throws WWX to burial mound, WWX shift to tiger. He cant shift back to human. He hunts the wen in tiger form. He help NHS when he is in the river. NHS was attacked by the wen (either wen or a yao). They then goes to Qinghe. In Qinghe, JWY and LWJ bring back WC to Qinghe to interrogate him. But WWX sees WC and bite him to death. I think WWX is the one who killed WRH too. He bit WRH to death i think
In the second part of the series, after war it was found out that WWX is shapeshifter and many wants to kill (?) Him. The last time i read this, it still only has 1 or 2 chapter.
That all i can remember. Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername
FOUND! The Tiger has Destroyed his Cage by updatebug (G, 54k, WangXian, Shapeshifters, Fix-it fic, Animal Pelts, Tiger WWX, Found Family, adopted family, Yungmeng Siblings, Canon appropriate angst and violence, Gratuitous OCs)
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4. i read this a while back but can't remember the name of it, if anyone can find it or knows the name please let me know .
Nie huaisang, lan zhan, Jiang chang active a time travel array. Huaisang and land zhan did NOT know JC altered the array to erase WY. LZ eventually forces JC to fix it and bring WY back.
When JC altered the array to bring WY back he messed up somewhat and the price was his own core disapp //
I read a FF a while back and cannot remember the name of it, if someone could help me out, I would LOVE to reread it.
Years after Wei WuXian died, Lan Wangji and Nie Huaisang want to travel back in time to save Wei Ying and Nei Mingjue. NHS and LWJ finds an array but realize they cannot activate it without Jiang Cheng's help.
However they didn't realize that JC changed the array until they were back in Cloud Recess lecture. LWJ punches JC and
JC had erased WWX from existence. Eventually LWJ made JC fix it and bring back WWX.
After WWX is brought back he reveals the gold core transfer along with other secrets.
However when JC redid the array and brought WWX back is made his own core slowly disintegrate.
They do save the Wen Remnants and and Wen Qing actually helps LWJ finish destroying JCs core when he is challenged to a dual.
@prissyp2014
FOUND? The Way It Wasn’t by KouriArashi (T, 72k, WangXian, XiYao, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, (eventually haha), Slow Build, Family Feels, Moral Ambiguity, Eventual Happy Ending)
FOUND? Not This Time by Marinelifeclub (M, 93k, WangXian, SangNing, NieLan, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Angst Dark LWJ, Protective LWJ, YLLZ WWX, Resentful WWX, Established Relationship, POV Alternating, Sunshot Campaign, Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Minor XuanLi, not for jc fans, eventual 3zun, Kid Fic)
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5. Hello! For the fic finder/s, thank you in advance. ♡
For days I've been trying to find this fic. I'm not sure with the details like if wei wuxian is a farmer here or older (i think he is a farmer though) but what I remember is lan wangji making advances to wei wuxian while sleeping (wei wuxian here is known as a heavy sleeper ) but at some point wei wuxian got awake during those and from then on anticipate what lan wangji gonna do, so he knows what lan wangji is doing and there's a number of that that happens. Also, lan wangji is running out of time because he was about to go to the main central or the palace to take an imperial exam (? I'm not sure if that's the term) anyway, he was going with lan sizhui to take that exam. I'm not sure if he goes on the day of the exam but I vaguely remember that he confess his feelings to wei wuxian before or on that day. Then they did the everyday. ヾ(@゜▽゜@)ノ
FOUND? #5 is "like the waves return to the shore, again and again" but it's been deleted. There's a link to a cache on the @wangxianficrecs blog around Jan 20, maybe Mod Kay can help?
Regarding #5, I have that story saved. So, if anyone wants to read it, send an ask for WangxianFicRecs or a message to @the-last-d-boy with your mail adress and I'll send it to you. ~Mod Kay
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6. Hi! I've been trying to find a fic (I believe it's a time travel au where Lwj and Jc, or just Jc I'm not sure, travel back in time), but the only scene I remember is a scene where Jc for some reason gets mad with Wwx during the Sunshot Campaign after finding Wwx in the woods around the war camp (I don't remember what Wwx was doing). Jc hits Wwx with zidian and Wwx is sent flying into a tree. Jc gets scared after Wwx doesn't get up and goes see if Wwx is ok, only to find out Wwx's heart is no longer beating. Lwj (I don't remember if he arrived after Jc hit Wwx or if he was already in the woods with Wwx), then, manages to make Wwx's heart beat again by performing CPR on him.
can't find the fic, but I remember it. Maybe these details will help. Lan Wangji found out about WWX not having a core after he gets back from being missing (I think by grabbing his wrist maybe?), but Jiang Cheng doesn't know. He didn't expect that hitting WWX with Zidian would be much of a problem for him and he's totally freaked out when WWX collapses and LWJ starts doing CPR which is what you'd do for a non-cultivator
FOUND? these colours fade for you only by doodlebutt (T, 36k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everybody Lives, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, ...eventually, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Sunshot Campaign) it isn’t a time travel fic, but it has the scene where jc hits wwx with zidian
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7. Completely unrelated to my last ask, I’m looking for a Dragonji fic where his hoard is bunnies. Lan Xichen tries to talk to him in the bunny field but he’s just chilling in his dragon form with the bunnies finding him Good. Lan Xichen flies to the Burial Mounds for desperate negotiations with Wei Wuxian. Eventually Wei Wuxian mentions that Lan Wangji didn’t have any bunnies until WW gave him some. LX has some realizations from that. @any-mouse
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8. hii!! i was searching for a fic where lwj finds wwx's corpse at the BM and things happen. i don't know much but it was cracky. i hope you can find it!! thanks already :D @for13years-i-play-inquiry-foryou
FOUND? (we make) a good pair by gamayuglagay (gracon_bacon) (E, 1k, WangXian, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Necrophilia, Foot Fetish, Vajankle, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Crack Taken Seriously) Warning: NECROPHILIA
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9. I read this time travel fic a while ago which I can't find!
I vaguely remember a lot of dimension travel and a-yuan js sort of helping wei wuxian doing the said travel and a-qing is also there. in one part they reach the past but like not really cultivation world (not sure on that) and meet lan xichen, there's also lwj and wwx of that world who help them get back, there's an spaceship and stuff and I think wen qing was also there maybe?
i just realized that the request i sent was way too vague and so is the summary of the fic, which I was misled while looking for it. also if u could add this to the ficfinder post, to explain why this is the fic I was looking for, it is very confusing I'm sorry!!
apparently it wasnt a-yuan who was helping wwx, but rather an original character and its more parallel universes than time travel!! its abeautiful fic!!
FOUND! counterpart by queensmooting (E, 37k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Parallel Universes, Multiple Selves, Kid Fic, some child endangerment (everyone will be fine), lwj can and has gotten pregnant, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, bittersweet ending (ymmv))
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10. hello! i'm looking for a fic where wwx and lwj have a biological child (i'm not sure if it's a-yuan). i think this fic has an omegaverse setting? lwj doesn't know about the child until a bit later on and even then he's unsure bc when he sees the child and asks wwx, wwx tells him to ask again the next time they meet (or he'll tell him more? i'm not sure). but they don't meet again bc wwx dies at qiongqi path on the way to jl's 1 month celebration via a bunch of arrows courtesy of jin zixun and co. he brought along wn and his child, but wn brings the child to cloud recesses secretly, so jzx doesn't die due to wn. i remember there was a scene where they brought wwx's body to jinlin tai and stripped him naked to scan for the hundred holes curse scars, and jins were creepy about it. lwj was dissociating in this scene and he's sorely disappointed in his brother for not helping stop them. please help, i've been thinking abt this fic for days now 😭 @aracchiii
FOUND! 🧡 Born to Blossom, Bloom to Perish by LadyMithiel (M, 113k, WIP, WangXian, A/B/O, Mpreg, Angst, Mostly Canon compliant)
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11. Hi!!! I'm trying to find a fic (it's an one-shot, if I remember correctly) that happens during the Sunshot Campaign. One of the soldiers sees Jc and Wwx fighting, and they see Wwx flinching, and trying to back away. This soldier (I think they either were sexuality assaulted or knew someone who was sexuality assaulted and reacted like this towards the abuser, I don't remember which one it is now), and they find Wwx's reactions to Jc way too similar to the reactions of someone towards their abuser and comments this with another soldiers. The "Wwx reacts towards sect leader Jiang like someone who was sexuality assaulted does" comment spreads around, and soon becomes rumors that Jc did rape Wwx. Wwx is confused by how suddenly everyone is sympathetic towards him, treat him with care and don't let him alone with Jc. One of the last scenes is Jc mad because Wwx "tarnished his reputation", Wwx not understanding shit of what's going on and Jc getting real scarry. They were in a secluded place, I think. Lwj is walking about and sees Wwx backed away on a tree while Jc is looking really agressive, Wwx looking scared, and he (who has heard of the rumors), goes like "nope, he's not about to take Wy against his will again. Not on my watch" and totally trashes Jc (I don't remember if only verbally or also physically).
FOUND? might be chapter 15 of Vrishchika's short prompts?
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12. heyyy, I read the summary of this fic some time ago and I can't find it anymore.
I think it was a modern au in which wwx dies and lwj is looking for him. might be modern with cultivation or maybe wwx just disappeared and everyone thinks he's died. I dont really remember a lot, help me out.
I'm pretty sure he dies though.
FOUND? when the sun goes out by travelingneuritis (E, 176k, WangXian, Modern AU, Modern Cultivation, tech cultivation, Necromancy, Angst with a Happy Ending, insecurity around adoption, Dad!WWX, dad!lwj, Grief/Mourning, Mistaken Identity, Mood Whiplash, Body Swap, sex tears!, Falling In Love, Consensual Somnophilia, apocalypse (localized), Smut, unrealistic sexual stamina, Flashbacks, Time Skips, Illustrations)
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13. I'm looking for a fanfic where wwx gave his golden core to jc but then developed a black one, and if he uses too much demonic cultivation he can die or something like that. also I don't remember if it's from the same fic or not but I think the annoying cousin of Jin z dies from a curse
FOUND? 🧡 a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke (M, 180k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, arranged marriage) 
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14. hello! how are you doing?
i once read a ff in which WWX is rescued/saved/something like that by the Lan Clan i think in the middle of war or something but WWX helps Lan Clan to tackle the problem of crops with his yin energy talisman/array. i hope you will be able to find it (i know its not enough information 😭) @let-it-be-rainbow
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15. hello im looking for a fic where wen ning shoots an arrow at wrh and it hits him in the eye. i think it's a time travel fic but im not sure. also wn asks wq like uncle isn't a good person, is he. i appreciate the assistance
hello im anon on the latest ff #15. sorry, but it's not the fic i was looking for. i remember it being multiple chapters, also the sunshot campaign did happen. the part where wen ning shot wrh was during the final battle of ssc and he was at a high vantage point with wq away from the fighting
NOT FOUND! 💖 Where The Arrow Points by Nillegible (G, 4k, WN & WQ, WN & WWX, WWX & JC, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, No Sunshot Campaign, Because Um. Wen Ning murders Wen Ruohan, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, really)
SIMILAR The Ghost General by English is my death (Lena013) (T, 5k, WN & WWX, WN & WQ, WN centric, BAMF WN, Time Travel Fix-It, what's a conference without someone killing their uncle?WN murders WRH, WN Lives, Ghost General WN, WN looks into his uncle's eyes before killing him, Fierce Corpse WN, Canon Divergence) Actually, I just read the italicised part of the ask for 15, so my suggestion is definitely not it. But it did have time travel WN killing WRH with an arrow!
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16. Hi I’m looking for a specific fic that I thought I had saved, but alas😑
It’s a ‘watching the memories’ type of fic. With protective Jiang Cheng, Lan Xichen, Lan Zhan and juniors.
Anyway I don’t remember much but what I do remember is that the story is set after guanyin temple and that they watched a memory of wwx going about his birthday alone. Qiren and many others were assholes to wwx who just wanted to spend the day with his husband and son, but was constantly denied and berated.
This in turn lead to JG, LZ and LXC I think being angry and protective on his behalf.
That’s all and thank you for the endless effort you all put into finding all these fic’s. @ravenwithwings
FOUND! Music Heals All Forms Of Misery by idontknowwhatimdoinghalfthetime (T, 63k, WIP, WangXian, Fix-It of Sorts, Songfic, Past Character Death, Heavy Angst, Self-Esteem Issues)
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17. Hi hi! Im looking for an Ao3 fic where WQ and WY go to cloud recessess because theyve negotiated protection for the wen remnants with the Lan Clan. The condition is that WY must be purged of all resentful energy, which he and WQ think will kill him, and they believe the Lan clan knows it. Theres a scene where during the purge Lan Zhan realizies whats happening and asks Wei Ying why he would think the Lan wanted to kill/harm him. Pretty sure its a happy ending, or at least hopeful!
Thanks so much, hope youre all well! @la-voce-to-me
FOUND! decay by antebunny (G, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, the fluffiest ending, Hurt/Comfort)
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18. Hi, I am looking for a Wangxian fic that has a lot of twin jade feels I think its starts after the burning of Recesses where both jades are captured by WX and a lot of bad things happen to LWJ after which he ends up forced to work in a brothel where he meets WWX who came to rescue JWY and maybe JZX from the indoctrination and I also remember that LXC was allowed to visit Lan Zhan but only when he was drugged to sleep and that WX knew that the jades kept in line only cause of the other. It probably followed canon divergence and it was a complete fanfic. the story is pretty hazy in my head so I am hoping someone remembers it. thank you.
FOUND! Alter by Solmae (E, 162k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Drama & Romance, Slow Burn, Canon-Typical Violence, Rape/Non-con Elements, Gang Rape, Forced Prostitution, PTSD, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian, Explicit Sexual Content, Sexual Slavery, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Torture)
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19. I remember reading a fic where Wei Wuxian was taken as a prisoner, I think maybe by the Nie, and everyone expected him to practice Inedia while kept captive just for him to become extremely ill from lack of food, revealing his lack of golden core. Everyone freaks out a bit
FOUND? ❤️ whipstitch by curiositykilled (M, 131k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dysfunctional Family, Torture, WWX Lives, but basically no one else, Case Fic,   Cultivation Sect Politics, Past Abuse, WWX Whump, YL WWX, JL Needs a Hug, JL Tries, Yunmeng Bro Reconciliation, Past Character Death, Body Horror, Non-Consensual Body Modification, POV Alternating, Flashbacks,   Eventual Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Suicide Attempt, PTSD, Depression, Not A Fix-It, Mouth Sewn Shut)
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20. Hi👋🏽
I love looking through your fic-finder posts and discovering ‘new’ fics to read !
I’m trying to find a fic taking place after the SunShot Campaign, where WWX takes the role of a Jiang Elder instead of Head Disciple. I’ve tried looking for it by AO3’s filter but was only able to find a similar fic series - Rest of Resolution by MarbleGlove.
Details: WWX somehow fools the JGS into thinking WWX is older than he actually is (Lan Qiren is in on the joke too). @animewatching
FOUND? Like a Water-Worn Stone by meyari (T, 41k, wangxian, major character death, Hurt/Comfort, very little hurt, lots of comfort, Chronic Illness, Serious Injuries, Self-Medication, Disability, PTSD, Depression, Self-Worth Issues, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, aftermath of war, Aftermath of Violence, Prisoner of War, Identity Issues, Warning: Jīn Guāngshàn, enslavement (discussion of), abuse (discussion of), actually very fluffy despite the warnings)
FOUND? Elder, an Aesthetic by MarbleGlove (G, 8k, JC & WWX, Fix-It, Post-Sunshot Campaign)
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toaarcan · 9 days
Text
C3E107 Thoughts
Okay first point of order, obligatory screaming about Abubakar flying an ocean to do a surprise return as the Arch Heart, you love to see it.
The Arch Heart's plan is interesting but I think they've either not telling the whole story or they're making a mistake. They assume that, in a moment of panic of Predathos being released early, their siblings will all flee. Except we know Melora would stand and fight, and we know that two of the gods are not Tengarian and therefore they have no past track record to base that thought on. They've got no clue what RQ and Vecna will do when the chips are down.
Of course, it's possible that the Arch Heart is hiding the truth. They said themselves that they are sneaky and that they were there without the knowledge of the other gods. They also kept stressing that they were being honest. Which could well be a lie. DC30 on the Insight check to see through any bullshit. The gods may have a different purpose for putting Predathos into a person.
The reality they've claimed is that the gods are currently in argument over what they should do about the Predathos situation, and the Arch Heart believes that if they have time to come to a conclusion, they will choose to fight. Whether that means war with Predathos or war on the people trying to release it, who can say. Either way, if they all come back, inevitably the Betrayers will try to kill mortals again, and the Primes will fight them. Calamity 2 will happen if mortals take too long to stop Predathos.
Ultimately the idea of cramming Predathos into Imogen or Fearne does not seem like a good one. We just spent the better part of 103 episodes watching Laudna struggle to keep Delilah under control. Delilah is the soul of a mortal fucking wizard. And Downfall illustrated the vast gulf between mortal mages and gods. It also showed max-level mortal bodies being disintegrated by the raw power of an unbound deity forcing its way out from within them. And the plan here is to cram a more-powerful entity into a Lv.13 Sorcerer or Druid and expect Predathos to not immediately escape or hollow them out and wear them like a cheap suit?
Then again, given the way it was being talked about maybe they are aware of this and recognise that whoever becomes Predathos' vessel is functionally or literally dead and doomed to chase the gods across reality for eternity, and that's a sacrifice that some have decided they are okay with. Either way, not a great plan.
The two members of BH that are most happy with the Arch Heart's idea are Dorian and Ashton, who are reacting to it like the perfect answer has finally been given to them. But it's not Dorian and Ashton who are going to be tasked with becoming the vessel. Imogen really does not want Predathos released. Fearne is more curious but Zathuda is actively trying to groom her into the perfect vessel and Shardgate was born out of Ashton convincing her to go with her gut and give him the Shard instead of taking it for herself, and I worry that with them on one shoulder and Zathuda on the other, Fearne may end up going with the plan and dying for it.
As for who the deity that agrees with the Arch Heart is... I don't think it's the Matron. The Arch Heart's words around her appearance are "You've heard my side," as if to imply that she represents the other. She was also one of the more reluctant gods when it came to leaving and building the gate, and she was consistently the "Stop doing hubris" one during Downfall.
The Arch Heart definitely did not have an answer for whether Predathos will harm mortals accidentally in pursuit of its meal. Also there's a probably-god chilling in the heart of the planet who isn't going to be running anywhere so that's not a great sign.
Zathuda and the Unseelie's dissatisfaction with Ludinus speaks to one of the bigger flaws in the Ruby Vanguard's plan. We've seen the gulf between mortal wizards and gods in Downfall, but Ludinus assumes that if he kills the gods then mortals will sit atop the food chain. Except they won't. There are a lot of entities that live in the gulf between mortal and divine, like powerful Fey, and also the Fiends the heroes keep running into. Zathuda evidently looks down on Ludinus and intends to betray him. To chase the gods away will open up the throne they've abdicated again, and it will not be a mortal wizard that sits it (nor should it be), it will be a devil or a demon or an archfey.
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Text
Best and Worst of Both Worlds (part 37)
Tw: none 4 now , just a short chapter wirh Yves fluff
Part 38
"Yes dear, you may." Yves sat on the chair next to your bed, crossing his legs elegantly as he watches you open the pristine packaging.
You asked him for permission if you're allowed to eat the imported macarons he flew in all the way from France. You're nervous because the box itself looked extremely expensive, his gift looked too beautiful to eat.
You end up closing the box of delectable, colourful pastries. Some had gold leaf on them. They're definitely mouthwatering, especially after days of eating bland hospital food. You didn't touch any of Montgomery's takeaway.
You told him that you're going to save it for later. Yves didn't react to you, instead he pulled out another box with a black ribbon wrapped around it from his massive shopping bag that he no doubt retrieved from a luxury store. Yves kept the box of macarons from somewhere else, so that you had more space to work with. It was large, taking up the entire over-bed table.
You pulled on the neat ribbon before slowly taking the cover off.
Whatever it was, a sheet of black silk was wrapped around it with an envelope that has the brand logo resting atop. You opened it and pulled out a card with golden embossed letters. You had no idea what it says because you couldn't read it. So you set it aside and took out the main item.
You were baffled when you pulled out a large drawstring bag with a velvet interior. But that wasn't the final object, the thing inside it was. Yves second gift to you was a designer backpack, crafted to perfection and made up of only the highest quality materials. You can feel the lavishness through your fingertips rubbing against its fabric.
You opened it to see translucent packaging paper, protecting its form. This must have at least cost him a few grand, you're not accounting for the currency exchange rate. You turned your head to Yves, you looked uneasy. Do you really deserve this?
He simply tilted your head at your discomfort.
"It is time to retire your bag, (name)." He leaned forward, propping his head on his hand. "Unless this isn't to your liking?" You panicked at the sight of sadness in his green irises.
You said no, you love it. But you're scared to use it because it's priceless to you. It will hurt to even have a smidge of dirt on it!
"Then, this shall teach you to be mindful of your belongings." He smiled. "You should treat what you own with care and respect." Yves playfully tapped your nose with his pointer.
Your face heated up at the memory of him discovering the state of your old backpack, finding a dead lizard at the bottom and mold growing in your waterbottle.
"It's the least you could do for the items that uphold your day-to-day activities." Yves continued his lecture as he bent down again to take something else from his shopping bag.
You kept staring at the bag, cautiously packing it back into the drawstring and into the box. Treating it as if it will disintegrate if you handled it a bit too roughly.
"However." He gently guided your head to face him. Yves stroked his fingers under your chin. "I must remind you, they're merely objects. You shouldn't let them dictate your life. They're there to assist you."
He pushed a small box into your hands. It's a miniature version of whatever is on your table.
You untied its ribbon and opened it to reveal a small envelope and a smaller protective drawstring bag, which contained a velvet jewelry box.
You gasp upon opening it. A golden bracelet embellished with stunning pink diamonds. You took it out to inspect it and found that it doubles as a wonderful fidget toy! It has numerous moving parts and gears, providing that satisfaction of sliding and clicking.
You kept playing with it for a few minutes. Until Yves softly cleared his throat to get your attention.
He was smiling adoringly. "I'm happy that you're fond of my gifts, (name)."
You realized you haven't thanked him. Instead of verbally doing so, you decided to grow a pair and peck him on the lips.
You quickly retracted yourself and looked away, feeling shy from what you just did.
It took Yves a few seconds to register what you just did. His fingers ghosting over his mouth as his eyes were wide, staring at your bashful self.
The corners of his lips shakily curled upwards as he silently pushed your over-bed table away.
"Oh, (name)..." Purred Yves as he felt his heart beat so hard and fast against his ribcage, as if it was going to explode. He has no words to describe how adorable, how lovable and how delicious you are to him right now.
He tucked himself into the same bed, snaking his arms around your waist. Soon, you found yourself being cradled by Yves in his lap.
Your back is pressed against his chest as he buried his face into your hair. His own silky strands tickle you by your neck.
You giggled when he nipped at your cheek, he wrapped his lips around his teeth so it wouldn't tear into your skin no matter how hard he bites. It just felt like a firm yet harmless pinch between two knuckles.
He alternated between fluttery kisses and toothless nibbles. You squirmed and laughed hysterically when Yves utilized his nimble fingers to attack your ribs with tickles. It doesn't matter how you scrunch yourself, Yves will always get you to excite yourself.
"You charming little thief, how dare you steal my heart?" He hissed with mock anger before moving on to press his lips against yours.
You grinned and kissed back, loving how soft and supple they were, loving the taste of them. His hair shielded you from the harsh lighting of the room and his comforting smell made you forget the clinical stench of antiseptic in the air. The warmth he provides nullifies the cruel, artificial visual and physical coldness of the room.
He intertwined his fingers with yours, lightly squeezing them in his hold. But that is only with one hand.
The other is gripping so hard on your sheets that his nails started shredding holes into it. His thumb particularly pierced into the mattress. His veins were throbbing and raised, skin taut and digits suffering from tremors.
Yves occupied himself with your lips. Closing his eyes and enjoying the bliss he was handsomely rewarded with. He tries to ignore the fact that he failed to account for the deranged intensity of his cuteness aggression towards you.
Data be damned, he may have lost count of the number of touches he gave you today, but that one rare kiss from you was all worth it.
He lets go of you only to whisper three special words:
"I love you."
Before diving back in and showering you with tenderness as he fights the urge to painfully squash both of your face cheeks.
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akronus-writes · 7 months
Text
the fates of the primordials
despite what they would tell you, there are only 5 "primordials" and they existed in a universe much different to the stories they tell.
in truth, the primordials lived in a universe not unlike your own, apart from their development of "super powers" of course. and while I would tell you of their exploits with those powers, I think you'll find their ultimate fates too be much more interesting.
during an event known as the oblivion eclipse (which I will add a book on to my library in due tome) the primordials would fight against a near endless enemy, with 5 of them having to sacrifice themselves to succeed. below I have detailed their fates.
Signis and Brennis
the masters of fire and stability, Signis and Brennis would sacrifice themselves fighting the oblivion lord, literally punching him back to hell, and allowing themselves to die in the process. may these two heroes memories be ever commemorated in my library.
Daemos
fighting alongside crow against one of the oblivion lords eclipse towers, which would create an infinite army unless destroyed, Daemos willingly sacrificed themself, actively using their powers too pull themselves, the oblivion monsters and the tower, in to the shadow realm, where they would all die.
Aquis
Fighting alongside Aldira against another eclipse tower, Aquis would make the ultimate sacrifice, feeding herself to her pet sea beast Jormungandr so it may, for a few seconds. reach its strongest form, consuming the eclipse tower and oblivion beasts, before sinking to the bottom of the ocean.
Deltan
fighting alongside their boyfriend Hallowed, deltan would realise the eclipse towers vulnerability to electricity, and therefore channel nearly all of their energy, including their life force. into a powerful blast that didn't just take out the eclipse tower, but disintegrate it.
in a rare subversion of their fate though, Deltan would live on in the bio-electricity of their lover Hallowed.
Hallowed
in their fight against the oblivion beasts, hallowed would lose their right arm to one of these beasts, and would continue fighting on with only their left, slaughtering scores of beasts until the battle was over.
in the ensuing time after these battles, Hallowed would gain both a cybernetic replacement arm, and a hefty fortune, worth millions of dollars.
Antros
While fighting oblivion beasts, Antros would be torn apart by one beast, only to find that they lived on. fighting through the army, Antros would eventually realise his true nature. the living embodiment of fear, Antros can take on any form they wish, and summon scores of nightmare beasts to help them.
in the time after the oblivion eclipse, Antros would go on to brutaly punish numerous evildoers as a brutal vigilante with control over fear itself.
Aldira
the bloody queen, Aldira would be there to witness Aquis' sacrifice, and would in that fight, finally realise her purpose, too end the lives of those that would threaten the innocent. at this revelation, the armour that had tormented her fell off, and her bloody rage was re-ignited.
in the time after this, Aldira would channel this blood rage into an art, perfectly manipulating her and others blood with an impossible level of finesse and skill.
Crow
Crow would sadly witness her friend Daemos' sacrifice and from that would be changed.
after the battle they would sob for hours on a cliff side, inconsolable over losing his friend. but eventually, something happened. touched by some unknown force, Crow would go on to become a protector of nature, gaining a complete control of both plants and animals.
Akronus
Akronus would be there to witness Signis and Brennis' sacrifice, and would suffer horrible mental break. before in a turn of events, they found god. well eldritch gods, but still. acting as the conduit for the magic power of four eldritch gods, Akronus would continue their work. just with a much finer control of their powers.
Closing notes
the entrepid of you will realise the problems with my writings, if AKronus is a master of magic, why do they only use sword, and If both crow and hallowed gained morals, how come they commit crimes now?
I can easily explain that. all 5 of them where heavily scarred by these events, and combining that with the death of their home reality, have blocked out a majority of these memories, which is why, like always. I bestow my readers with a request. to help these 5 heroes regain the memory of their fallen comrades and original power, if not for the greater good, but to respect the sacrifices their friends once made.
(@monsterfucker-research-wizard @good-wizard @f4y3w00d5 @drewp1 @gobodegoblin)
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monstersdownthepath · 3 months
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Herald of Nethys: The Arcanotheign
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CR 15
Neutral Medium Outsider
Inner Sea Gods, pg. 298
As we get closer and closer to the end of Misfits and Monitors Month, here we have the penultimate Neutral Herald, and possibly the most powerful of the Heralds... when she first came out. Like many of the Heralds of the main gods, the Arcanotheign first appeared in an Adventure Path, specifically Serpent's Skull: The Thousand Fangs Below, pg. 82-83, but her case is a special one. You see, whereas most of the Heralds became more consistent or stronger with the clarified vision of their powersets and the consolidation of their abilities into keywords or magic items on their person, the initial release version of the Arcanotheign was incomparably powerful, to the point she could have easily hovered around CR 18 or even CR 20.
She had not one but four at-will abilities tied to her ranged attack that would remove their initial target from the fight instantly (including one that was outright full death by disintegration on a failed save), the ability to ignore any spell or ability that relied on alignment, the ability to heal from both positive or negative energy damage, and an aura which dealt constant damage to everything around her (while healing her as it did so). Capping it all off? Alter Objects, an ability I'm a little sad she didn't get to keep in her reprint; Alter Objects allowed her to freely reshape anything she got ahold of, changing either its shape or the material it was made out of, OR animate it via Animate Object, with basically no limitations as to how dramatically she could reshape it or what material she could turn it into besides A) she can't do both transformations at once; no turning a teddy bear into a sword and no turning a stick into adamantine and then animating it, and B) the transformation always reverted 1 minute later unless she actively concentrated to maintain the effect. It was still a bonkers ability that gave her almost godlike control over her surroundings, especially since she only had to be within 100ft of whatever she was altering. Not even touching it!
Her final iteration in Inner Sea Gods is toned down considerably, to put it mildly. I wish she kept Alter Objects in some fashion, but with the severely compressed space in ISG, I can understand why it was trimmed. She's also lost more than a few of her bells and whistles, including a handful of her spell-likes, which must be especially painful for the servant of the God of Magic! But despite all of these nerfs, ALL of them, she remains one of the most powerful Heralds in the setting. Her might is all the more startling for any fiend or foul element which catches her in her mortal form as a gray-skinned beauty that seems to have a Disney Princess-esque magnetic effect on small animals and children (she's even got +35 to Perform (Sing) checks!) and thinks she'll be easy prey, her energy form exploding from its shell and raining terrible, eldritch energy upon the attacker until they're dead or gone. And then she folds back into her human(ish) form and goes back to playing with the kids, transforming their toys into new shapes to amuse them.
Most of the children visited by the Arcanotheign are blessed with magical genius or even magical power, blooming into casters (especially sorcerers) as they age, but whether the Arcanotheign unlocks these talents or is drawn to people destined to have them is left ambiguous. Planting the seeds for future generations of casters is but one of her duties in service to Nethys, though, the others being "encourage people to use magic" and "destroy anything that tries to stop people from using magic." While most parties would thus not have a reason to get on her bad side (even the most grumbling barbarian can appreciate a magic axe and a healing potion), she unfortunately DOES serve a guy who has the unenviable title of "Mad God," and as such she may be the party's ally--or at least a neutral force--for one session, only to turn on them the next for reasons only her god understands.
She's noted to ask "personal, direct questions" to anyone she's sent to interact with, whether it's to share a vision, heal them, destroy them, or teach them, and though her target will likely never know the reason for her barrage of questions, in truth it's because she wants to know why she was sent there. Why does this particular mortal deserve this blessing or punishment? She wants to know just as much as they likely do! Despite being directly formed from Nethys' will, not even she appears to fully understand it, and most of her free time is spent contemplating the purpose of her existence and her place in creation.
But we're not here for existentialism, are we? I mentioned she may be an ally one day and an enemy the next, so let's see what happens when that happens...
Let's begin with the biggest part of her kit: You're not hurting her with magic. She serves the God of Magic, so casters have to be very clever about how they use their spells against her, because most straightforward tricks simply will not work.
Blindsight out to 60ft and Arcane Sight out to 120ft besides, illusions, invisibility, and other such trickery won't work against her unless they're solidified from shadow magic. She has 31 Spell Resistance, the highest of any Herald besides the Grand Defender (who cheats by having "SR: Infinity"), which typically means a lvl 11~13 caster needs to roll an 18 or higher to affect her with most spells... which then have to contend with her saving throws, which are also higher than most Heralds at +18/+13/+17, which is increased by an additional +2 if the source is any alignment except true Neutral, because she's got ALL FOUR Protection From [alignment] spells on herself constantly. In addition to that, she has 30 Resistance to every element except Force, including a heretofore unseen 30 Resistance against typeless divine damage from effects such as Flame Strike and Hellfire Ray, and other, more esoteric spells and abilities, all but assuring those otherwise fairly reliable damage sources cannot harm her even if she fails her saving throw.
Able to resist every element, the Arcanotheign can also throw out consistent elemental damage in return. She's surrounded on all sides by a 30ft Energy Channel Aura, which... which in ISG is a little ambiguous in its function; in the original Adventure Path printing, the aura was always active unless the Herald shut it off and dealt automatic damage constantly to any target she desired like a proper aura, but in ISG the aura's wording has been changed considerably and seems to require the magical avatar's standard action to use, like a proper Channel Energy from a Cleric. This is supported by the fact she has the Command Undead feat but no normal ability to channel energy, but in my mind, a meager 2d6 damage (of Fire, Cold, Acid, OR Electricity, mind) is too pathetic to justify the use of her standard action, so I personally choose to believe the aura is constantly pinging every enemy inside (Will DC 26 halves) and she can switch which element is flaring out at will. If you want to add some extra spice, you can give her back her ability to also deal positive or negative energy damage with her aura.
It depends on how you want to run it, I suppose. I know I like automatic damage!
There IS an important bit here: this damage is tacked on to her two incorporeal touch attacks without offering a save to resist them. These attacks deal 4d6 untyped damage and 2d6 extra energy damage depending on what her aura is tuned to, but unlike many Heralds, she really, really doesn't want to get into melee to do that. Despite her considerable defenses against magic of any sort, she's actually got the least AC of any Herald at 27, and lacks ANY form of DR or protection from weapon attacks besides the fact she's incorporeal. Side note: This also means spells which deal physical damage affect her, provided they can pierce or ignore her monstrous SR.
Her full suite of Protection From [alignment] spells means she can't be touched by any summoned creature with an alignment and her 60ft of perfect flight gives her some evasion, but that does little to dissuade the Rogue and Fighter getting Fly and speeding up to her. She doesn't even have Dispel Magic to end such effects, which is a little weird and surprising to me. What she DOES have, however, is her Eldritch Blast, a pair of ranged touch attacks she can unleash at will which deal 1d10+her Chari-- whoops hold on, wrong game, 4d6 untyped damage as ranged touch attacks, and her blasts have one of three additional effects she can tack on which can be resisted with a DC 26 save (what kind of save depends on the effect). These effects are already bad, but a character who fails two saves against the Eldritch Blast effects in the same round suffers a debilitating status ailment instead.
The effects are:
Fortitude: Every round for 10 rounds, the affected creature teleports 5ft in a random direction at the end of their turn, potentially ruining any positioning they were trying to get going. If a creature is struck by this blast twice and fails both saves, they're shunted into a Maze automatically.
Reflex: The blast deals an extra 2d6 Fire damage. Failing two saves instead causes the victim to catch fire, taking 1d6 Fire damage a round every round from there on out until they use a full-round action to put it out.
Will: The blast confuses the creature for 1 minute. Failing two saves causes permanent insanity.
Functionally, targeting Will is typically her best bet and Reflex is barely worth considering; confusion has a 75% chance to neuter or entirely remove someone's turn, though one shouldn't sleep on what she does to people with low Fortitude saves. She's got Cloudkill at 3/day and is immune to poison, allowing her to cast it directly on her own position to gradually wear away at the party's Constitution and thus lowering their ability to resist being booped around or shunted into Mazes, removing them from the battle and leaving the rest of the party open to her shenanigans.
This is actually one of the most heavily nerfed parts of her kit, because her original incarnation in The Thousand Fangs Below, where her Eldritch Blasts could also choose to tack on 10 bleed damage (failing two saves instantly killed the target), paralyze the victim for a round (failing two saves inflicts a minutes-long Slow effect), and the Fire damage was doubled in every respect. She's also lost both Cone of Cold and Fireball, but she's managed to hold onto the reliable Lightning Bolt and Telekinesis (both 3/day) at least!
And you know what else she has? Both Heal and Harm at 1/day... and Limited Wish 1/day, with all the toolbox potential that comes with it. Though neither lore blocks presented offer it as a possibility, Limited Wish can mimic any Wizard spell of 6th level or lower, and Contingency falls into that bracket. Imagine finally catching the Arcanotheign off-guard, grounding her and beating her down to 10 HP... only to have a Contingency she prepared a week ago go off, instantly casting Cure Critical Wounds on her and restoring enough of her health bar to let her get a Heal off next turn (or, if the DM wants to be generous and round up, letting her just prepare a contingent Heal). The other options aren't much better, as she has both Greater Teleport/Teleport and Plane Shift available as emergency escape buttons, and those are just what she's got on her own sheet! With access to the minds of some of the greatest mages in the universe in Nethys' home realm in the Maelstrom, she can get a scroll of a wand of almost any spell in existence (which her +28 to UMD means she can easily use) to either prepare ahead of time with Contingency, or simply use as required.
It's almost a relief that she serves one of the more unstable gods, and is thus just as likely to be sent on some meaningless nothing task as she is an important and destructive one. Most of the time, she doesn't really need her magic because of how debilitating her Eldritch Blasts can be; knowing that she has a blank check in the form of Limited Wish almost feels like unnecessary overkill... which makes the actual Theme Finale of this month all the funnier.
You can read more about her here.
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bacchuschucklefuck · 3 months
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Can you expand on what you mean by Baron being "too cool" to really fit a horror monster? It's a very interesting concept and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Is it that they're too active/involved/tangible and it detracts from their scariness?
I feel like I should preface this with a wall of disclaimers lmao 1/I am a hardcore, down-to-the-marrow, avid, deeply sincere horror enthusiast, esp. horror creatures. this usually means my mileage is vastly different from the average populace's, and my scaredy bone has been disintegrated by longterm exposure. most things in a piece of horror media won't scare me! so I practically never use that on its own as the scale to talk abt horror experiences, but when something does scare me it's always a special occasion to be treasured. 2/canon d20 is never really meant to be horror horror, and for good reasons: it doesn't fit the company's output, it takes a kind of carelessness in production estimation that is always a huge risk, it's often vulnerable in a way that kinda goes against how TTRPGs usually facilitates vulnerability, and for most people it's just! stressful! d20, even with the "horror-themed" seasons, generally just plays with horror tropes and stays focused in its goal of being a comedy improv tabletop theater show. 3/fantasy high's chosen system is DnD, which as I've mentioned before is before all a combat-based game system, which means the magic circle of play is drawn based on stats that facilitate and prioritize combat. want or not this affects every interaction you have in the game, and given fantasy high's concept from the ground up (everyone's going to school of DnD stuff to get better at DnD) it's doubly relevant. 4/This Is Fine I have no quarrel with this. my meters are internal, I do not ask this show to be anything it doesn't advertise itself to be, and what it is is fucking great! I like it! when I expand on this ask's question it will be like a physicist going insane in a lab. that's the mindset we're going in with.
disclaimers done. my stance on horror as a genre is that it's a utility genre rather than a content genre or a demographic genre; it is the discard of narratives. it's the trash pile. horror, above being scary, is about being ugly and messy, it's the cracks on the ground any story inevitably steps over to stay a genre that isn't horror. the genre's been around long enough to develop a codex and a general language that medias and makers and enthusiasts of the genre can use to talk about and build onto, but if you go into individual pieces there's really no unifying Horror Story. one person's beautiful life can be another's horror story, it's just how it is.
this makes The Monster a deeply intriguing piece of the genre. thing is a monster is in a decent percentage of any story - it's just when the antagonist force steps into something past a certain line traced out in the story's world. monstrousness is in pretty much every western fantasy story, it's in any story with a hero and something to vanquish or win; more than anything it's a proxy of that thing up there. the line in a narrative's world. the monster is the guard of the unknown lands, where heroic, civilized people don't tread.
what does this mean in the context of horror? the genre is about that perceived lawlessness, that "unknown land" so to say. we're in the monster's home. that's the literary context that we often walk into a horror piece with; the monster knows more than you about where you are. it may not understand you, but it holds more information than you, and with that it moves swifter than you, has more covered than you, and is more assured in its existence in this context than you. it's a struggle to catch up to it, it's nigh impossible to get one over it, and you're never sure it'll 100% work, because you just don't have the information necessary to.
with that framing you can kinda see where I'm coming from here: horror's often about the breaking of rules. I always think a monster's most effective when it breaks well-established rules of both existence and visual storytelling. think Possum (2018) or Undertale's Omega Flowey or the Xenomorph Queen - unique change in medium, unique change in graphic, unique change in design language, etc. in that sense I actually really like how canon baron plays out: they don't really function like anything else in the fantasy high universe, the bad kids have not managed to kill them when they've felled literal gods, their domain in fhjy literally introduces new mechanics to encompass their existence! from an experience design standpoint they slap mad shit. BUT! I can't help finding their character, like as a character riz (and the other bad kids, eventually) interact with, to be very... coherent? in design. this is kinda hard for me to articulate in words, it's more often a sense you get once you've looked at enough of these scrumptious fuckers, their general design and the way they show up is just kinda too clean, so to say. always kinda newly made? fresh unboxed. it, once again, makes sense for their lore - they are looking for more about themself from riz - and their function - they're an antagonist in a game experience, they're meant to be interacted with in a way that produces results and meshes with the existing magic circle - but that shininess takes away from the implied history they should have dominion over and the person they're haunting doesn't.
from another angle there is kinda something there about how put-together canon baron is as a concept; the domain they call home is riz's deep-seeded fears, extremely vulnerable things he's drawn borders around to quarantine and refused to walk into. things that from his perspective would irreversibly shatter certain pleasant fictions his world is built on top of. canon baron, While Extremely Cool, I feel is kinda too neat to connect with and signify the apocalyticized mess that'd result from this paradigm shift. the part where they're in riz's briefcase and looking through every mirror is Very Cool And Fucked Up! but ultimately the show draws a line around them as well, by making game-physical, tangible spaces they're in (the mirrors and the haunted mordred manor) and put riz and the bad kids there only when they need to confront stuff. riz is meaningfully narratively away from baron's unknown land for most of fantasy high.
with that and all of my disclaimers in mind my conclusion here is if canon baron wants to be a Horror Monster they'd have to cross way more lines. be a Lot more invasive. hence (holds up my class swap baron like a long cat)
#ask#not art#tldr a lot of fantasy high's and d20's nature plays against having a Horror horror piece in it. there's no space for emptiness or dread#that's one of the most attractive things to me about horror. the monster signifying a new world you don't understand#you see something on the deserted streets and you realize: oh. the world doesn't work how I've been thinking it does#if u've noticed how much this has in common with queer experiences haha. yeag#man. actually I should also put the I Am Not White disclaimer in there too lmao a lot of the notion of The Monstrous is! traditionally#about maintaining and upkeeping a ''social order'' (read: the powers that be)#and a Lot of Wilderness Fiction is deeply and maliciously colonialist#so when I say ''the unknown land'' and ''the monster'' I am pretty much speaking From one of those unknown lands#and from the position of one of those monsters#the fear of the monstrous is so very often the fear of being consumed by - or becoming - the monstrous yourself#and well. when you're already there in the eye of the zeitgeist. You Can Do What You Want Forever#all that to say it Is important to me that baron is made of riz's lies. even more so in this funny class swap thing I make for fun#like as a horror protag he makes me insane. he loves lines! he loves lines he drew himself. he replicates these borders in himself#that mirror the world he lives in that's so hostile to him. that kid Loves rules. he bows to even the ones that hurt him#like. u get where I'm getting to right I did make a whole comic kinda near this subject he's Already The Other#baron is a monster's monster. baron is a mirror image. GODs I cant help but wish they were messier#it's kinda why I make class swap baron to be like. an ever nearing realization. like I warble abt all this but I genuinely do also find#canon baron to be just as visually coherent and thematically perfect as riz if not more. it's hard to beat how cool the mirror stuff is#it's hard to beat that doll face in iconic visuals! I have to strike according to my strength rather than trying to beat canon#so instead of reflection it's captured moments. instead of a blank face it's the lack of one. mmm. maybe I'm just kinda breaking things#for fun also but that's My prerogative in my house awooga <3#well. thats kinda my thoughts on the general subject. thank u for listening. I will bake something soon dyou want some
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aaamike · 3 months
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Very Light JJK Spoilers
I’ve seen a lot of criticism about Sukuna as a villain. But I don’t think many people have taken the time to enjoy the time of big brain he is. We see this intelligence of his on full display during the Big Raga Incident.
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- here upon ariving on the scene, Sukuna was able to deduce very quickly that:
1: Mahoraga is a Shikigami summoned by Megumi, despite never knowing about Mahoraga. Or the 10 shadows technique outside of what he’s learned from past battles during the Heian era and or his time in Yuji’s prison
2: Megumi’s subjugation ritual keeping him in a suspended state, and thus, he can’t die until Big Raga is dealt with.
3: Haruta staying alive being crucial to keeping Megumi alive throughout the ritual.
Sukuna is so familiar with Shikigami users and rituals associated to them, he’s able to figure in a few seconds everything that’s going on and what he probably needs to do. No other character in the series has demonstrated this level of analytical accuracy, this quickly.
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- Here, Sukuna is able to identify what Mahoraga’s sword can do from their first exchange. It’s clear he’s seen or read about it before in the past. We don’t know all the battles he’s been a part of but he is clearly well versed in some ancient weapons as seen as during his battle with Kashimo.
Sukuna may be an avid enjoyer of his curse technique, Shrine, but he’s a fan of weapons, mainly in a lot of his Heian era artwork. Mainly a staff like weapon and then that lightning weapon he used against Kashimo. Let’s not forget to mention all of his past Heian era battles gave him a lot of experience. Who’s to say none of those sorcerers carried a cursed weapon. Based off of his current battle with our cast, he seems pretty used to sword users.
In short, Sukuna knows his way around cursed weapons, and is able identify what they’re capable of. He is also very capable of dealing with a weapon user, barehanded.
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- lastly, we see Sukuna compare Big Raga to a something named Yamata no Orochi. Now Yamata no Orochi the Legendary 8 Headed/Tailed Dragon, in real life is a mythical creature first written about around the early 700s in Japan, “filled with malice” and eating young girl sacrifices every seven years. Later, Susanoo, the god of Storms, kills it. It’s known for having a few amazing powers but the main one is regeneration from damage, even death.
Now Sukuna may be referencing the actual mythology, since it was around during the Heian Era, which started at 794 AD and ended in 1185 AD. It’s plausible to assume Sukuna grew up well aware of the mythology. Or perhaps in the JJK universe, there was a Shikigami that may have created the legend we know today. Regardless, upon identifying how Big Raga preferred to stop his ops, via, adaptation, he activated Malevolent Shrine, to create the right conditions for him to use Fire Arrow.
(A quick aside for context, recently it’s been confirmed by Gege that Sukuna’s activation of Fire Arrow is simplified and buffed by the storm of cleave and dismantle turning everything into a fine powder in an air tight enviorment/ie his domain, so when the Fire Arrow activates, it causes an instantaneous explosion, disintegrating any and everything within the domain.)
I’m not saying the manga or anime implies Sukuna fought Yamata no Orochi, but it seems clear Sukuna knows how to deal with an adapting enemy: Obliderate it with an attack it can’t heal from, adapt to, or come back from.
I really enjoy how Gege writes action in JJK. In many cases, it tells you a lot about the characters involved and I believe the Mahoraga fight is one of the best, because it fully demonstrates how well experienced Sukuna is.
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fandomwe1rd0 · 6 months
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RICK REDEMPTION ARC IS ACTUALLY SO GOOD GUYS LIKE OH MY GOD
Now just to make myself clear, by "redemption" I mean him being a better person, don't get me wrong he's still an abusive, toxic, manipulative, asshole but he's trying you guyssssssss. Like he started going to therapy when he says he doesn't respect therapy in season 3 you guyssssssssss. He's spoiling Morty you guyssssssssssssss. He's treating Morty like an actual human being you guysssssssssss.
Ok onto the actual post- His redemption arc is actually so good omfg- Now to be fair, he's still in the process, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little optimistic about where it's headed, I mean so far it's going really well, he started changing after season 4, which makes sense considering in the finale he said "Holy shit I'm a terrible father." and sat alone in the garage, which is what he deserves but I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry at that scene even though it's exactly what he deserves considering what an asshole he's been in that season. Now after this realization, seeing what a terrible father he truly was, he started changing, for most of season 5 he was still mostly the same ol' Rick. He was still an asshole, was still insulting Morty, y'know much of the same, he wasn't as bad as he was in season 4, but he wasn't exactly good, then then we get to the finale, he actually feels guilt for coming back to Morty after the crows left him, when Morty asked, he couldn't even give Morty a straight answer, he just looked to the ground and sighed. He couldn't even look Morty in the eye. Season 4 Rick would probably just say yes and brush it off with some sarcastic comment, but season 5 Rick couldn't even bring himself to do that.
In season 6 we can see that he stopped his hunt for Rick Prime, even if it was just temporary because Morty sees him as his grandfather and not Rick Prime, you can tell that meant a lot to Rick since his angry expression melted away as soon as Morty said that. (Also yes, this scene makes me cry shut up)
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He's also a lot gentler to Morty here, is he perfect? No but a lot of his actions seem more like him being a goofy grandpa then him actually being mean, he gets closer to Jerry, lays off of Morty a bit, and actually puts in effort to spend time with the kid, and he actually goes to therapy on his own accord, sure he didn't want to call it therapy at the beginning but he still kept going even after Dr. Wong said it was therapy and is now going every week, I mean could you imagine season 3 or season 4 Rick going to therapy? Actually scheduling his appointments and paying for therapy? Need I remind you that this is the man who turned himself into a pickle so he doesn't have to go to family therapy? Who pretending he was disintegrating so he wouldn't have to go? Who literally programmed his garage to have a "family therapy mode"? Who programmed the therapist's office with voice activated commands in case he needed to leave? This man, the same man, is going to therapy.
At the end of the season when Morty called him "boring" he regressed and continued his self-destructive hunt for Rick Prime again. Now I may have poked fun at him for this in some of my other posts, but it was more than that, that was the moment where he thought Morty just stopped caring about him. He thought the most important person to him, the only thing holding him back from a mental breakdown *cough* codependency *cough* didn't care about him at all. When we know that's not true, sure Morty lashed out, but he earned the right to after everything Rick put him through. So he left and built a perfect copy of him to take his place. He could've programmed it to be just as mean as him, or even more mean than him. But he literally programmed it to be a good grandpa to, love, and make Morty happy. That was it. He did this for someone who he thought didn't care about, someone he though, in his own words, had become "dogshit" to. Yet he still put in the time and effort to make a robot designed to make Morty happy, when it would've just been easier to just make the robot the same as him. And here's the kicker, when Rickbot reveals it, sure Rick is frustrated and sends Rickbot an angry glare, but he doesn't deny it. Could you imagine season 1-5 Rick doing this? I couldn't. Also in this scene, he manhandles Morty significantly less, I honestly think this may have been the season where he stopped manhandling Morty, correct me if I'm wrong.
Now in season 7, in all the episodes he never treat Morty all too bad. Let's analyze how he treats Morty in each episode shall we?
Episode 1 ~ How Poopy got his poop back
They don't really interact in this episode, Rick just gave Morty a sarcastic response when Morty said "Hey buddy, got you a coffee" and when Morty asked "Have you found him (Rick Prime) yet?" which while it isn't nice, it's better than how he treated Morty in season 4, since he never insults Morty directly.
Episode 2 ~ The Jerrick Trap
Another episode where they don't interact a lot, and when they do it's not really Rick it's like half Jerry half Rick. Buttttt he does have a new "Touch my grandson and die policy" and it's confirmed in that episode that both Rick and Jerry love their family, even if they are horrible at showing it. He does snap at Morty for literally no reason at the end, but still. Comparing it to say, Mortynight Run, the second episode of season 2 where he constantly insults Morty, it shows progress.
Episode 3 ~ Air Force Wong
Again, they don't really interact a lot, man they really ignored Morty in season 7, but he does stand up for Morty when the president insults him, when the president said "Tell Morty to shut up!" Morty says "Tell him he can't talk to me like that!" And season 1-4 Rick would probably just ignore Morty, he actually listens and tells the president "You can't talk to Morty like that." This episode also reveals that he's still going to therapy every week, which is a huge thing!
Episode 4 ~ That's Amorte
He's pretty rude to Morty in this episode, even straight up telling him "The only reason why you're still alive right now, is because you don't turn delicious when you die." Which we all know is a lie, but that doesn't make it better. But I'm pretty sure this was supposed to mirror Mortynight run, which is why I at least found Rick to be pretty out of character in this episode, but he's still physically gentle with Morty, with putting his hand on Morty's back instead of manhandling him like how he would in earlier seasons, and even if it's wrong that he was feeding the family people, he didn't do it out of malicious intent like how most would expect, he just genuinely thought it was good and wanted the family to try it, does that make it right? No, but still. He also (Like everyone else) lost the taste for it when he saw exactly what they were eating.
Episode 5 ~ Unmortricken
Honestly besides his sarcastic comment at the beginning of the episode "Thanks buddy, means a lot that your bar for mental health has gotten lower than mine." and "You should count chickens professionally, Morty." He's pretty sweet to Morty, he was worried for Morty and didn't move until he made sure Morty was ok when they were all in the box, and when he finished making the portal, he made sure Morty got in by pulling him in by his shirt to be sure that Morty was safe, these are all very small details but they say a lot, he also doesn't let Morty come with him because he was worried about him and wanted to keep him away from a very dangerous adventures, which considering that he took Morty on a traumatizing adventure in "Rest and Ricklaxation" It's nice to see that he's actually starting to worry about taking him on dangerous adventures and wants to keep him out of them, this was confirmed when Evil Morty replied "I'm not worried about him, I'm evil!" when Rick angrily said "You brought Morty with you!?" and he even lets Morty hug him without pushing him away
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which is a step up from him softly pushing Morty away when Morty attempted to hug him in "Solaricks"
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We can also see that he fakes a smile in the end, which is, again leagues above what he would've done in seasons 1-4
Episode 6 ~ Rickfending your Mort
Ahhhh he's so sweet to Morty in this episodeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. We see in this episode that his inner grandpa comes out with Morty and that he spoils Morty, he gives Morty basically whatever he asks for with no resistance or complaining. They do argue, but Rick really mellowed down and didn't insult Morty like at all during the argument, really the only insulting things he did was when he called Morty a little gremlin and accused Morty of lying about the punch cards. Even when Morty fessed up, he didn't rub his nose in it or brag about it like usual. He just said one thing "Hah! Can we playback that confession?" but that was it, and he still accepted the punch cards anyway and is extremely excited when him and Morty are going on adventures again, and smiles when he sees Morty excited about another gun, don't give guns to kids. But when Rick does it, it's his way of spoiling Morty, he just doesn't really know how, but he's tryinggggggggg. He also genuinely thanks Morty for keeping him on track with the punch cards instead of giving some back-handed thank you like how he did in season 1 episode 10. which is nice to see. He also is genuinely bonding with Morty with the pet cemetery scene.
Episode 7 ~ Wet Kaut Summer
Another one without many Rick and Morty interactions...man Morty gets pushed away a lot, butttt we do see more of him spoiling Morty, which is always welcome, and he does try to get Morty back which is sweet, I also thought him bragging to Summer about how he saves Morty a lot was kinda cute in a pathetic way "I save Morty 8 times per season!" We also see him be nice to Summer and open up to her about Diane "I treat you like an equal because I respect you! You remind me of your grandmother."
Episode 8 ~ Rise of the Numericons the Movie
Eh this one was just a weird fever dream, Rick wasn't in this episode like...at all. He wasn't even mentioned once.
Episode 9 ~ 90s fad toys
Rick is just really sweet to Morty here, when Morty messed up by releasing Bigfoot, he seems more worried about how him and Morty will get home rather than mad, and listens to Morty explain without interrupting, unlike other seasons the only mean thing he says was "I could probably teach these idiots how to hit a red button!" which is really pretty mild considering some of the other stuff he said during his arguments with Morty in seasons 1-4 including but not limited to: "You're a piece of shit Morty!" "I'll let you know when I have a point, and the world will know when I try to hurt you!" "Morty, you little lying world-ending pervert!" "I'm really glad you insisted on getting that Fart home, at least all the death and destruction wasn't for nothing y'know?" "I'm going to take a biggg fat Morty, that's my new word for shit due to today's events." "Okay Morty, you big party-pooper buzzkill! Boo!" and is pretty sweet to Morty during his fight with Bigfoot, even encouraging Morty not to help him due to a fear of Morty getting hurt, even when he was getting brutally beaten "Don't worry Morty, I got this under control" and he even cried in front of Morty instead of pretending like he has no emotions, which is a lot more significant when you consider that Morty was the only person (In the smith family at the very least) to see Rick cry
Episode 10 ~ Fear No Mort
Rick isn't in this episode for the majority of it, since this is a Morty centric episode! Finally! Buttt we do see that he brought Morty to a carnival just to spend time with and see a haunted house with Morty, that was literally it.
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He also eats with Morty at Dennys (Well was about to before they hear about the fear hole) and really only said two mean things to Morty "You little turd!" when Morty actively didn't listen to Rick, which is a step up from season 6 considering he didn't just ditch Morty and replace himself with a robot. "I mean...define 'irreplaceable'" when Morty asked if he was irreplaceable. But he did sounds genuinely happy and excitied when Morty was back, happily calling out his name as soon as he moved, and he doesn't immediately backtrack on sounding happy or smiling which is a step up from season 1 episode 9 Something Ricked this Way Comes where he was happy, but immediately backpedaled and tried his best to sound like an annoyed grandpa. and he did attempt to awkwardly hug Morty back after Morty hugged him, it was half assed but he still tried. He didn't even seem mad when Morty pushed away, he looked more worried that he messed up more than anything. Also yes, this does still bring me pain.
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AND WE LITERALLY SEE THAT HE NOT ONLY LISTENS TO MORTY'S ADVICE BUT ALSO HAS A PICTURE OF MORTY IN HIS WALLET AND LOOKED SO PROUD OF HIM! HE ALSO CHOOSES MORTY OVER A FAKE VERSION OF DIANE
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Uh so yeah Rick's redemption arc is amazing, and no I do not regret that I spent an embarrassing amount of time gushing over an abusive old man's redemption arc.
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misscammiedawn · 6 months
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Derealization in Night in the Woods and Metal Gear Solid 2
This post contains discussions and descriptions of severe dissociation that may be triggering to those who experience those symptoms and details themes of abuse, war and alcoholism please be kind to yourself when reading. Full game spoilers for NitW and MGS2.
In my Media, Myself and I series of posts I've been talking about depictions of Dissociative Identity Disorder in media. Highlighting good representation because I think it's easy to tear down what doesn't work, but showing what does is a very teachable moment. Best way to increase understanding and tear down stigma is to show understandable and relatable examples. Even if they're imperfect.
To that end, I wish to take a mild distraction from talking about identity focused symptoms of dissociative disorders and do some posts on elements of dissociation which aren't highlighted as often, particularly not well.
Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder is on the dissociative spectrum and the symptoms are experienced within forms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Dissociative Identity DIsorder.
To borrow an info-graphic I utilized in my Hypnosis and Dissociative Disorders essay a while back
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Source: Mayo Clinic
The brain processes the world and our association within that connects the concepts of "Me" and the concept of "Reality" and integrates them so we are able to process external reality and express our internal reality.
When we look at our hand we can look at it and understand "this is my hand", the shape of it, the sensation of proprioception, the knowledge that we are able to move it and it will move based on our innate intention. There is no process of "I want to move my hand, I am going to move my hand, my hand is moving" it all happens as part of one seamless process.
A practice within hypnosis for creating a sense of dissociation required for trance states is to have a person look at their hand and turn the phrasing from "my hand" to "that hand". Gradually having a person look at a thing until our brains stop processing it in relation to our surroundings until it "detaches" as a way of temporarily removing critical filters in an effort to lead a person to an altered and suggestible state.
A good example of this one can experience without assistance is to stare into a mirror for an elongated period of time. Our brains are always attempting to process a large amount of information and presents context to you that changes "those images on the mirror's surface" into "my reflection", it's why we are able to feel familiarity as a sense. When we perceive something that activates those associations the relevant information automatically filters in our mind and presents the concepts associated with the stimulus.
If we stare at the same reflection for too long those associations begin to disintegrate and we begin to view them divorced of the contexts we hold for them.
For those who suffer dissociative disorders, this is the root of why someone with DID will not "recognize" their reflection or why a person may not feel familiarity with something/someone they are aware of.
Dissociative amnesia is a topic I wish to cover in a future essay but it is also included in this process. Essentially when we dissociate our minds lose the ability to effectively filter what we are perceiving and relate it to our selves, our memories and our experiences.
Derealization is what happens when that critical filter between the external world and our internal perception breaks down. It's when we are not processing the world as being something we are engaging with. This may present as a disconnection between our perception and our understanding, for example "my hand feels like it's larger than it looks" or it can be a complete disconnect from what is happening in your present reality causing you to feel like you are in a dream. In extreme cases you lose your ability to relate your actions from consequences.
Let me tell you, having this happen while you're behind the wheel of a moving vehicle is terrifying and I hope no one reading this ever has to experience that.
I should also note that these symptoms tend to get dramatically worse the more you focus on them. In my own life, if I have a sensation that parts of my body feel incompatible with my inner perception of them then the vague dysphoria can blossom into full dissociation if I try to examine the feeling in any depth.
For an everyday version of it, think about the sensation of Deja Vu and how it feels like you have already experienced something which is happening in the present. During that state you are dissociated enough from processing your present reality that it "feels" like you've already experienced it, despite the knowledge that you are currently in the moment.
All of this is to give a vague view of what Derealization is and what it feels like.
Today I want to share two pieces of media that include a character overtly experiencing these symptoms and how the fiction displays the character experiencing this internal experience so that an external audience may understand.
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Night in the Woods is a 2017 narrative driven adventure game by Infinite Fall. It follows two weeks in the life of Mae Borowski, a 20 year old cat suffering from severe anxiety who has dropped out of college and returned to her childhood home, an impoverished Western Pennsylvania mining town named Possum Springs.
There she moves back in with her parents and reintegrates with the rural community of Possum Springs. She spends time with her childhood friends, talks to the locals and tries to solve the mystery of a severed arm found in town. All while having vivid dreams on a nightly basis and dealing with the an ambient level of judgment from her parents, friends and community over her perceived irresponsibility.
Where Mae is trying to solve the mystery of the severed arm and the secret cult that hides within Possum Springs, the audience has some other mysteries to solve attached to the attitudes of some of the residents. Mae's parents and friends constantly pressure her to explain why she felt it necessary to drop out of college when so much was sacrificed to get her there. There is also "The Incident", a mysterious event in Mae's past, ominously hinted at when Mae's next door neighbor warns...
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"No one's forgotten who you are and what you did, you know. Small town polite's all you got, kid."
The player is left in the dark as to the circumstances that paint Mae's reputation in town and throughout the course of the two weeks we begin understanding more about Mae's past, the circumstances behind her return to Possum Springs and the reasons those around her harbor a mild resentment towards her.
There are some potential supernatural elements relating to Mae's dreams and the nature of the cult but I feel it is best to stick to the grounded elements of the plot for the sake of this essay.
The Incident, it is revealed, is that 6 years before the game Mae beat another kid with a softball bat. Seemingly unprovoked. It earned her the nickname "Killer" and shaped much of the way people in the town, including Mae's own parents, view her.
"Why did you beat Andy Cullen?" and "Why did you drop out of school?" are questions people constantly demand of Mae and it forces her to become defensive and prickly to those around her. There's even a sequence involving a heated argument between Mae and her mother when the latter drops her kindness and patience over the matter and demands answers that Mae refuses to give.
To give the game away without fanfare, Mae suffers from extreme dissociation.
She's ashamed of it, afraid of it and the local town doctor, who I will discuss shortly, has no meaningful way of helping her deal with it. Mae is left to journal about her feelings with no meaningful way of understanding her symptoms or preventing them from crippling her. It is not even referred to as dissociation within the plot of the game, though those who are familiar with derealization will recognize it easily.
If you wish to see the conversation where Mae confesses her condition, it is about 4 minutes long and will provide some context, though I will brush over the description if you do not have time/ability to watch and listen.
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Mae describes a time when she was playing videogames and felt an intense empathy towards the characters on screen. She felt like she knew them intimately and at a certain point something "broke", she came to understand that the characters she had been so connected with were not real. She was not actually connected with the events happening on screen, it was all a game.
And in understanding that she felt alone and abandoned on her side of the screen and the sensation spread out to the view outside of her window. The trees blowing by in the wind were as fake and distant as the characters in the video game. She had memories and attachments and associations with that tree, but looking at it from her window she could see that it was just a tree. Just an object.
"Just shapes"
This disconnect spread into every aspect of Mae's life and all of the associations she had built between herself and the world around her had vanished and she found herself in a world that she no longer felt attached to in any meaningful way.
"Just like this meaningless bulk of... stuff."
She felt alone. Abandoned. Overwhelmed by the simultaneous enormity and emptiness of everything.
The next day during the softball match she cannot even remember how it happened but she ended up ontop of the mass of shapes that was Andy Cullen and... that was The Incident.
Mae's family lost a lot of money paying off the medical debt for Cullen's family and everyone's attitudes towards her turned cold. She was sent to Dr. Hank for therapy... and this is where I take a break to discuss the causes of dissociative disorders and how badly Mae was let down.
The root causes of DPDR are the same as other dissociative disorders in that extreme abuse, neglect and continued stressful situations cause the mind to put up barriers and break associations to protect the self from harm. To boil a complex idea down to a few words consider the mind saying "This is not happening to me." as a way to prevent pain from an experience.
Where identity based dissociation focuses on the words "to me" and removes the self from the harmful events, derealization focuses on the words "this is not happening" and rejects the events outright, refusing to process the context behind what is happening.
Much of the game's story is told through implication and one must peel back layers in order to get a full story. At first glance Mae may seem like a normal young woman from a rural community in the rust-belt and question what could have been enough for her to develop a dissociative disorder.
First off, don't do that. No one owes anyone a justification for their condition and there is no such thing as "traumatic enough" to be valid for a diagnosis. What a person experiences is what they experience. But Mae is fictional and the core of her character is having an under-treated dissociative disorder. Half the reason I wanted to write this entry was because her depiction of it is deeply relatable and can be used well for teaching what goes into a person developing PTSD and dissociative disorders; most depictions seem content with sexual abuse or violent deaths.
For Mae, it's a lot more subtle and all too human. At least, for a cat in a world of anthropomorphic animals.
Mae's mother, Candy, never went to college and always regretted it. She feels like her life hit a dead end and she has remained in the mining town of Possum Springs decades after its mining industry faded out. She works as a receptionist at the local church, spends all day reading True Crime novels and had a number of miscarriages before finally giving birth to Mae, her "miracle baby".
Mae's father, Stan, was working with the mine when it closed down and has since been bouncing between job to job trying to keep his family afloat, especially after the medical expenses from The Incident, the subsequent remortgaging of the house and Candy's dreams of sending Mae to college. Stan tries to be a good father but hates his job, is always working and it is revealed he used to be an alcoholic.
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Lastly you have Mae's Grandfather. He is dead before the game starts. Mae loved her granddad very much and his influence can be felt throughout the whole game. He would read to her, pay attention to her and teach her things. One of the game's DLC chapters even involves him reading Mae a bedtime story.
Also grandpa Borowski was a union man and collected the teeth of an employer who tried to abuse the workers. That doesn't really play in to my essay as Mae does not discover this fact until the events of the game but I am not going to go without hyping up a man for taking teeth.
Mae misses him so much that even 6 years after she was asked to keep a journal by Dr. Hank the first page reads "RIP Granddad" and as the game goes on the following can be found inside:
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This information is drip fed to us through organic and relatable moments. For instance, Mae reveals her father's alcoholism while she is drinking too much (sidenote, she is underage for the location she lives) at a party.
The idea is to give a full and rich view of Mae's life and show that she may not even recognize the trauma for what it is and was.
For instance, we know from the start that Mae has crippling anxiety. This could easily be linked to the expectations of Candy putting her hopes and dreams of college on her "miracle baby". Before Mae was even born she had expectations placed upon her for being the long wanted child of a mother who wanted her baby to do all the things that she never could.
For neglect you have the fact that both parents are forced to work in abundance to maintain their lifestyle and pay for Mae's college in an economically depressed community. Mae spent a lot of her home life alone, feeling pressured by her mother and literally scared of her alcoholic father.
Both parents are good and loving and kind parents. But they failed in some regards. Sometimes you can want the best for someone you love and do everything you can to provide the best life and a failure to listen, adapt and accommodate can do more harm than anything.
Her grandfather eventually passed away, taking her positive links away in her home life and after The Incident she was ostracized from the community and forced into further isolation. Socially anxious, outcast and without her supportive grandfather, she eventually is given an opportunity to go to college. Something her childhood friend would have literally killed for an opportunity to do in her stead.
---and she drops out.
---and upon returning no one will get off of her case about it.
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This damned statue did it.
A statue so loathesome to Mae that it appears in her nightmares and she relives the fantasy of smashing it to bits with a baseball bat.
If you watched the above video (or have played the game) you will know that the statue was made up of several shapes and was installed at Mae's college.
The sight of this statue terrified Mae to the point of which she would spend entire days holed up in her dorm room either not eating or gorging pizza and sleeping for days at a time.
Being away from the familiar sights and people of her home town made her dissociative symptoms go into overdrive. At home she knew that The Tree that had lost all meaning and association to her was still the tree that she played with when she was young. She knew that her parents are the people who raised her. Even when she saw them as "dead shapes" the memories persisted and she could endure.
At college it was nothing but strangers in a strange land and a statue comprised of shapes reminding her that everything was shapes.
But they sent her to therapy, did they not? Why wasn't she being treated?
Dr. Hank is a small-town doctor he is the physiologist, he is the dentist, he is the psychologist. He is the doctor. The only doctor and he has no idea how to treat someone with severe symptoms like Mae.
In town Mae can talk to a character named Selmers every day. Selmers is a self-styled poet with depression and also being seen by Dr. Hank. In discussing both mental healthcare treatment and depression with Selmers the player can learn that Dr. Hank treats all forms of mental illness the same. Essentially "journal until you feel better". The town lacks the structure and framework to provide help to someone like Mae.
In other words she has been untreated this entire time and removed from her support network and sent off to college, she could not handle things. Of course she was going to fail under those circumstances.
The game does a remarkably good job of displaying how DPDR can impact a person, especially as it is linked to anxiety and depression, and creates an empathetic narrative about what it must be like to live with that condition.
Sadly it offers little in the way of answers for treatment. In reality treatment involves psychotherapy and creating a structure of coping mechanisms for how to handle episodes and ground oneself. This can come in the shape of breathing exercises, kinesthetic sensation fixation, identification exercises ("name all of the blue items you can see" "name all of the items that begin in A") but above all else, getting a grip on what emotional triggers one has and learning to resolve them will help.
For Mae, being away from home is a trigger for her. Home isn't going to be the same place and people forever. She needs to be able to get on top of her symptoms in order to cope. Dr. Hank was not helping her with that.
The game ends on a bittersweet note that Mae may end up spending her whole life in Possum Springs purely from fear of leaving her zone of familiarity.
Unfortunately the narrative is about clinging to a dying town and how unsustainable it is.
We do not know what will happen next. The structure that failed Mae has only gotten worse in the 2 years since she left for college. Her parents may end up selling the house because they cannot keep up on the payments and on a long enough timeline Gregg and Angus will move away (should their relationship survive the effort to escape) leaving Bea and Mae to watch Possum Springs continue to decay.
Part of Mae's journey is accepting this inevitability and not fighting it, but choosing not to abandon the town regardless. After all, she can't stray from it without a risk to her mental health.
The game offers no answers. It simply shows a slice of hard reality for those who live caught in the trap of decaying towns, economic collapse and mental illness without support structures and treatment. but it does a very good job of providing an empathetic case that an audience can relate to and sympathize with the symptoms of.
But what about a game that tries to make the audience feel the same way that the character does...?
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Metal Gear Solid 2 is a 2001 self-proclaimed tactical espionage action game developed by Konami.
It tells the story of a secret military operations agent code named Raiden who is attempting to save the US President from a terrorist group called Dead Cell. There is much more to it. But I am attempting to be brief.
Metal Gear is absolutely frustrating for me to write about in this essay series because their research tends to be fairly good but their sensitivity often comes off as actively malicious at best.
In terms of conditions, symptoms and sensitivity to emotional triggers, Raiden is on paper a fairly decent representation of dissociative disorders developing in those who grew up in war. In practice he has a murder alter named Jack The Ripper who breakdances with 3 katanas.
I promised I would stick to positive depictions only and so I will stick only to the final 2 hours of Raiden's first appearance.
At this point in the game the president is dead, we have learned that the terrorists were really after a giant battleship that houses a powerful AI which is going to be used to censor the internet to control the flow of information and control the populace. Raiden has met up with protagonist of the first Metal Gear games, Solid Snake, and has managed to install a virus into the AI system that will corrupt the data and prevent it from controlling the internet.
In order to get on the battleship, Snake betrays Raiden and hands him over to the terrorists.
Thus begins the final act of MGS2.
It is imperative to understand that these events happen in rapid succession right after the AI is infected with a virus.
Neither the audience nor Raiden are given an opportunity to truly process all of the rapid fire information that we are hit with.
MGS2 has a metatextual narrative about the nature of sequels and audience expectations. Many of the events happening within the story are intimately playing upon our familiarity with the series, recreating circumstances from both Metal Gear 2 and Metal Gear Solid. Part of the critique is that players are looking to simply recreate the experience of the first game and the narrative goes out of its way to punish Raiden (and thusly the player) for trying to "be" Solid Snake. Much of the game has been mired in failure and any wins we have received are either negated in a cutscene following our gameplay victory or are displayed as being ineffective next to Solid Snake who is forever being displayed as the better protagonist.
So when Raiden wakes up in a torture chamber directly designed to look just like the Shadow Moses Island torture chamber from Metal Gear Solid 1 (and both dialogue and graphics of that cutscene are displayed briefly) we, the player instantly assume familiarity with the concept. To drive that point home the player is forced to survive a button tapping mini-game which is sprung upon us out of nowhere (there is no tutorial. The game expects your familiarity with the concept and thusly does not need to explain it - as a side note it is impossible to die in this minigame, so a lack of familiarity does not impact gameplay, only narrative experience)
All while the only surviving villain from the first game directly says in dialogue "We're also inside the memory of Shadow Moses"
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The cutscene also has Raiden face to face with the main villain who recognizes Raiden as a child soldier he helped raise to fight in an African conflict. For the first time we are able to view Raiden, view Jack as his own man outside of his similarities to Solid Snake. We find out he is a child soldier with an impressive kill record who was raised with other child soldiers, drugged and forced to kill in a conflict that he had no personal connections to. He claims "I was given a gun and told to shoot, if I refused then I was the one who would be shot."
Throughout the game, Raiden has been getting phone calls from his girlfriend, Rose, who serves as the mission analyst. When the villain, Solidus, reveals Jack's history she calls him to ask more about this and Jack at first pushes away the memories, claiming that "they" wiped his memories and that he experiences nightmares only to give a vivid and emotionally description of his experiences as young as 6 years old killing for no reason other than he was told to.
Rose attempts to comfort him, to say that she wants to share the burden of his past, Raiden refuses, blocking everything out and pushing Rose away, claiming that he cannot afford to start a family.
Children are a huge emotional trigger for Raiden. This is displayed heavily in the future games of the series.
Overall this is an extreme example of a backstory that would give an adult severe PTSD and forced to confront his past, Raiden is emotionally primed to have a complete dissociative break from reality.
But presently I am not writing about how Raiden experiences derealization. I'm writing about how the player experiences it.
We know that Raiden has been trained in virtual reality to prepare him for this mission. When we see cutscenes describing this we are shown footage of the previous Metal Gear games, particularly the virtual reality training missions from the PS1 game.
The implication is very much that Raiden has played the same games that we ourselves have. The Metal Gear Franchise has an interesting meta-narrative going on that displays games are released in order of declassification with an early conversation in MGS4 mentioning that the events of MGS3 (which takes place in 1964) were declassified recently in the game's present of 2014.
Raiden has played the Metal Gear games. We have played the Metal Gear games.
And the game itself is overtly recycling moments from earlier entries of the series and trying to highlight this fact.
Right after we put a virus into the AI.
Things got really weird from the moment we insert the disc to infect the system.
Escaping from the torture chamber our character is completely naked and runs to the next area. We are given a loading screen.
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Ominous music plays and we receive a phone call from Campbell, the mission control from both this game and the previous Metal Gear games. He speaks with a distorted voice. He stutters, telling you that you must proceed with your m-mission. He notes that in your current condition you will not be able to attack or "enter the hanging mode"
He continuously spouts the mission objective and says your role is to take out the terrorists. Raiden demands to know why he keeps saying "role" and Campbell replies
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Raiden then notes that he has never met Campbell in person. He has only spoken to him over long distance communication.
Should you return to the torture room the title card will be switched with the name of Japanese rail stations. If you pause the game you are treated to a "map" of Arsenal Gear:
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The image is from Glauben, Wissen und Kunst der alten Hindus
All while Campbell calls you every few steps to order you to turn the game console off, recycle further lines from previous Metal Gear games (as well as show footage from them) and your radar is replaced with voyeuristic footage of a young woman sunbathing.
The enemies are now wearing thick armor with no humanizing characteristics and they fly about with inhuman power while wielding katana that can block machine-gun fire.
The floor has scrolling text floating across the surfaces something that the series uses for the VR stages to signify you are in a training stage.
The game is pulling out all of the stops to make sure you are confronted with the reality that you are playing a video game while the character within the video game is experiencing the same information.
He meets up with Snake who reveals he has the unlimited ammo bandana from completing MGS1, all but confirming this is a video game. Much of the information in this segment can be justified in-game. I literally cannot sidestep the fact that a flesh and blood man pointed at a piece of headgear and said "Unlimited ammo". I almost wanted to skip over it as it's devastating to my point about how the game tries to pull you and Raiden out of reality.
See to Raiden, he can no longer be certain if any of this is happening or not because of his experiences with VR. With everything collapsing around him, it feels reasonable to assume that the AI Virus is breaking down the universe around him. With full knowledge of the plot, we the audience can know that everything is happening and the virus has infected his augmented reality elements that make up the in-game HUD. But Raiden doesn't know that and the player on first playthrough cannot fully know it either.
It's almost reasonable to assume that the entire game is taking place within a VR Simulation.
Virtual Reality has long been studied as having links to DPDR with a number of scientific studies examining the link.
The connection is very much there though typically VR only influences a mild sensation of derealization when playing, though to those prone to dissociation they may experience more rapid and powerful effects with prolonged exposure.
Raiden tells Snake what is happening and how his grip on reality is falling apart, going as far to doubt whether his girlfriend, Rose, was ever real either. Snake has no idea how to verify for Raiden that the things that are happening are real and tells him to just keep moving forward and figure it out. He also provides Raiden with a sword.
In the metatext, this is a symbol for Raiden gaining his own unique playstyle. As long as he is emulating Solid Snake he cannot succeed but when he accepts himself as his own person and embraces his unique gameplay mechanic he is able to break free from the narrative and actualize as his own person.
In the sense of the derealization episode, it gives Raiden an opportunity to mow down the wave after wave of "Tengu Soldiers" who come after him and Snake.
Metal Gear is a franchise that doesn't like it when you kill people. Here it has handed you a sword and told you to go to town with an unlimited supply of anime ninjas. The game lightly insisting "it's a video game, it makes no difference how many people you kill" and to flaw the game's philosophy for a moment, the only penalty is a ranking when you beat the game. MGS3 is the one that actually hits you with consequences for in-game murder.
As Raiden stands on a platform with Snake the game continues to devolve and a custom Mission Failed screen appears, mimicking the standard game over.
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Gameplay continues inside the small box that typically displays where you died, you can die on this screen.
You then fight 25 copies of the giant mech in a recreation of the photo area from the Metal Gear VR Missions and the world's most convoluted plot reaches its crescendo point with every character betraying everyone else before Raiden has to kill a cybernetic US politician with a sword for the first but not last time.
The sequence takes about forty-five minutes to an hour thirty depending on your play style. The plot is too much and has a layer of metatext on top of it regarding the nature of audience expectations and sequels along with a haunting premonition of what the internet would become.
There are a lot of reasons to praise and a lot of reasons to hate the ending of MGS2. Personally I adore it. But one thing that truly cannot be stated enough, especially back in 2001, is how the game intended to make the player feel during that final section.
It's not enough that Raiden was having a complete dissociative episode, losing grip on his reality, it's that the game was designed to make the player go through those emotions at the same time as the character.
I was going through a really rough patch at the time. It was a few months before I was kicked out, my ties with my mother had been cut off, my dad was in a ward and suffice to say where my head was at the time? The immersive dissociative experience this game offered worked like a charm. Though external factors had a lot of influence.
DPDR is weird in the sense that everyone dissociates. It's a natural and normal thing, but disorders that are born from an excessive amount of disconnect between the self and reality tend not to be relatable experiences. Displaying a character losing their grip on reality is not an easy thing to do.
When we see someone say "I don't know what's real any more" in a piece of media we have empathy for their situation but it's not easy to have the audience in the same mindset as them.
Another hauntingly good example is Perfect Blue which I will likely not discuss in detail in this essay series because the content is a little too dark and the depiction of Dissociative Identity Disorder is not flattering in the slightest.
But the movie does depict an actress whose reality is blurring in with fiction by having a series of interactions happen one after another and revealing that the entire scene was part of a television shoot, with every subsequent scene piling on the confusion between what is happening on camera and off camera.
I can think of other examples of characters experiencing derealization episodes. Some even have fairly good depictions of how someone can be driven to that point, such as the slowburn of Bojack Horseman Season 5 where a number of circumstances pile on until the title character has an episode. The problem is... every single depiction that is coming to mind right now ends in either stigmatizing depictions or violent outcomes.
Heck, even Mae and Raiden up there had violence attached to their dissociation.
If there's one thing I want to make clear as I go through these essays, it's that those who have mental illnesses featuring dissociation are usually trauma survivors and are far more likely to be the victim of violence than the perpetrators of it.
I'm happy with the two examples of derealization I've written about today, NitW for the realistic depiction of the origins and impact and MGS2 for taking the player along for the ride; but I'd still love to see an example where a break from reality did not end with blood.
Please send me an Ask if you can recommend any.
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So... that about brings it to a close for my little ramble on DPDR. I've a few other entries in the essay series on the back-burner. Next will likely be a breakdown on how Umineko handles recontextualizing memories. I've gotten a few paragraphs of that drafted out already.
These essays are really a bit of self-indulgence for me, though so they happen when they happen.
Thank you for reading.
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quirkwizard · 4 months
Text
Dr. Kuse Files: Tenko Shimura
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Patient: Shimura, Tenko
Parent Quirks: Father: Unknown Mother: Unknown
Potential Names: Rot, Decay, Disintegrate
Awakening Incident: Unknown. Subject was found wandering the streets and was brought in by the local heroes.
Observations: Subject has the ability to break down matter whenever all five of his fingers come into contact with it. Objects under the effect of the Quirk start to become brittle and break down into gray dust. This spread is slow, but absolute. I have yet to find a substance that withstands it. The Quirk seems to work on the atomic level, breaking down the atomic bonds of a target, hence why objects become so fragile before turning into dust. As long as the subject remains in contact with it, it will slowly continue to spread until it is destroyed.
The Quirk has a far more violent reaction to living targets. Instead, they seem to burst out of the target, leaving a visceral mess behind. Subject has a concerning lack of control over the effect. He cannot decide whether or not the effect is active, and he cannot halt the effect once it is active. I experienced both firsthand when the subject brushed against my arm. This is where I learned that amputation of the affected area can halt the spread of the decay, yet it cannot halt the effect of regenerative abilities. I hope the subject didn't see that.
Subject is almost certainly a deviation. The caliber of the Quirk, the condition of his body, and the concerning situation in which he was found imply a grizzly manifestation. It is unlikely that he will ever grow to control the Quirk and its erratic nature makes it difficult to train. The subject is lucky his power requires all five fingers to make contact. This is likely some in-built safety feature, preventing accidental usage of the Quirk. The subject has odd drying around the body as well. The exact nature of these is uncertain but may be related to the Quirk. 
Recommendations -Proper guardianship should be found immediately. I fear what would happen in an orphanage. Either foster parents or experts with who have experience with troubled Quirks should be sought out. -The use of gloves is paramount to the safety of the child and everyone around him. They should be kept on at all times, even when he is sleeping, in case of an accident. -Given the lack of information on the parental Quirks, finding the any kind of remnant of the family is key. For some reason, finding anything on his family is more difficult then it has any right to be. -Counseling is required for the subject as he already repressing the events of his awakening. This may lead to a development of self-hatred, but I believe that he could be helped with the right guidance.
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