#i may be a bit chronically online but that’s ok

[star-crossed-shipper]

i feel like you repost almost every post you see and i am living for it

lmaoo i didn’t get the notif for this but yeah i do. well technically i reblog everything i like but i’ve curated my dash to a point where i just enjoy all the posts on it lmao

[mew-aka-mimichan]

📛🍀Mimi’s Blog!🌈

🎀🧩😋

Hai! My web tag is mew but you can also call me mimi chan! Welcome 2 mai blog!🍮🐾

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🍀My nickname is mimi, but I also go by mew, clova or mootwoot online! I’m just ur average introverted borderline NEET gurl, obsessed with anything and everything loli, anime, cutesy, kewl, or even a bit ceepi… (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

🍓about me, pursonallly!

I go by she/they/meow/mew pronouns, I’m biologically a girl,I’m pan,I’m black,and I’m 14! I'm also a cat therian!!! (maine coon):3 I’m homeschooled sooo I’ve got plenty of time 2 be chronically online!!! 😋😋😋 I’m a beginner-transitioning-to-intermediate artist, and an aspiring model… I’m also mental LOL (I definitely have illnesses, but im undiagnosed, I suspect I have autism, adhd, or possibly ocd)

🌀I love decora and mainly jojifuku/cutecore/ kawaii fashion styles, and I’m OBSESSED w/ 2010’s intornet core :3 usually I stay in my room 2 rot all day :P most ov tha time you’ll catch me on 4chan, Reddit, Pinterest, yootoob, and sumtimes tumblr or discord! usually I’m pretty introverted irl anddd even online… so if you try 2 dm me I may or may not reply lolz >_<

🌈fandoms I’m in!

I luv luv luv attak on tittan, madoka magika, mha, ouran high school host club, Steven universe, OS tans and WEB tans, my little pony, lalaloopsy, tawog, touhou, netrun-mon, moetan, yatsouba, kodomo no jikan, K-ON,lucky star, precure, and vocaloids!!!! 😋🍀🍀

>expect me 2 switch between fandoms 🍟

👾i luv 2 ply fnaf, project sekai, danganronpa, Minecraft, beatsaber, roblox, splatoon, Kirby games and Mario gaems!!!💖

🧩and I luuuv listening 2 kikuo, siinamota,frenesi,kyary pamyu-pamyu,sasakure.kk, mitchie M, and snail’s house/ujico!!! 🍰

🏩Just so u know, art will be tha main content of mai blog, but occasionally I can post diff stuffs like vent posts, memes, and edits! _(:3 」∠)_🦴

🍖🌈,🐰🎀,🍼🍪,🎒🧃,🎱🎀 ^_^

🖍️my artttt

I think I’m pretty good at drawing, I’ve been doing digi art for a year, and I’m thinkin of taking commissions for anything! I’ll make a post ab it when I’m ready, ask me 4 more info! (^_^*)🍭

☆•. ♪ *｡♡＼(⸝⸝´▽`⸝⸝)ノ♡｡*♪ .･☆

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⚠️if u aren’t ok with this, then ok :3⚠️

-im a proshipper and a darkshipper!!!! i enjoy loli content and draw loli/shouta-looking characters, but I’m not a map(minor attracted person) and I don’t sexualize real kids or condone grooming irl, I’m addressing this because I look forward to posting my art and this is my safe space! ( ^ω^ )🎀

Welp, that’s prettyyyy much it! See ya!!🍰

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☆ +. *。+. ☆. * ─=≡Σ((( つ•̀o•́)つ.

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[knichii]

OK. does anyone else feel irritated that eng dub seems to be favoured in mha? in edits, in fics, it's clear most people watched dub and idk it's been rlly grinding my gears.

okay, to get this out the way, I don't like mha's eng dub. I don't like any of them. half don't fit their characters, 75% of the time the tone lands forced and awkward, and its literally just unbearable for me to watch I'm sorry. I have this issue with a lot of anime and cartoons so this isn't solely a my hero problem, but this is definitely the most severely I've disliked a dub. and yet I cannot escape it.

one of my biggest issues is the nuance that's lost in translation. anyone with any familiarity with the Japanese language will know what I mean. list of examples:

HONORIFICS

1. iida refers to class 1-A with '-kun'

2. yaoyorozu refers to class 1-A with '-san'

3. asui refers to class 1-A with '-chan'

3. deku with '-kun' (m) & '-san' (f)

that says SO MUCH about their characters, how they view their relationships, how they view themselves,, but in dub?? all of that's lost. ESP the significance of deku still calling bkg 'kacchan'. [simplified, '-chan' is used for cute/endearing things. it stemmed from children mispronouncing '-san', and became a childish, cutesy way of calling someone, usually someone you're VERY familiar with. it implies a shocking ammount of intimacy] thru years of bullying, all the rocks and straight up non existent road of their relationship, deku STILL calls him 'kacchan', the ONLY one allowed to do so ("but kaminari--" NEENAWNEENAWNEENAW).

in eng dub it gets reduced to a mere nickname, lacking all of its weight.

another thing is bakugou sub vs dub (...)

URGGGGGGHHHH

the most recent example is when bkg says "of course you pulled it off, Icyhot." (I forgot the context tho) in sub, he says "of course you pulled it off, TODOROKI".

THATS SUCH A NICHE, SUBTLE WAY OF SHOWING HIS DEVELOPMENT THATS TOSSED STRAIGHT OUT THE WINDOW. translation (manga) also has him calling his seniors 'senpai' which is... not what he says in sub????? 'senpai' indicates respect for someone your senior,,,, which. bkg would never show. (or only in EXTREMELY rare cases, MAYBE)

there's also my peeve abt names. this may be an only me issue, but I don't like it when japanese names are written in western format (e.g Izuku Midoriya)... ("this guy cannot be fr rn" unfortunately yes I am). I don't have a reason for this, and I'm aware it's niche and irrational, but I always cringe a little when I'm reading a fic, that's SET IN JAPAN, and their names are written Given Name, Family Name. emphasis on SET IN JAPAN. THEY ARE JAPANESE. THEY ARE NOT AMERICAN.

bkg's hero name. his og one which was translated to King Explosion Murder, losing all of the wit and cleverness in the jp original. this post goes into more detail and is very cool check it out

slightly irrelevant but bkg's jp va, Okamoto Nobuhiko, like. wow. the bkdk fight? the voice cracks? the ANGUISH?? the softness in his voice when bkg was abt to die (the hallucination w all might) ??? like,, wow. the emotion is so much more raw than it's conveyed in eng

I've gotten off point. point is I WISH MORE PEOPLE APPRECIATED AND WATCHED IN JP SUB. IM SCREAMING INTO THE VOID AND MY OWN VOICE IS ECHOING BACK I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE.

(note: jjk was my first anime fandom so I'm probably spoiled. over there, sub seems to be favoured, barring a few iconic lines [ray chase lwk served as sukuna in the shibuya arc] and the fics, like 70% of the ones I read, used japanese honorifics and culture. in comparison, mha was a bit of a shock. the side of the fandom I washed up on is so... American??? maybe I'm in the wrong place idk. everything's just extremely white and slightly uncomfortable.)

this was a bit of a vent post,, obviously ik people are entitled to opinions (even if they're wrong), I js wanted tk if anyone else felt the same way

reading this back, I'm aware of how chronically online I am. yeah. still tho

[belleishavingamentalbreakdown]

HIYAAAAAA

I feel like it’s about time I introduce myself!!! Yes Ik I took like 3 1/2 years to finally do it lol

hi I’m Belle or even Willow if you have been keeping up with me since my first year of tumblr! My online alias has always been Belle and I do prefer not to use my irl name because stranger danger lol.

I’m 19 years old and I’m obvi she/her

I’m a university student studying a double degree b laws and business (lowkey I’m an academic stresshead)

I’m a devout Maronite Catholic, I’m also Lebanese!!!!!and every opinion about controversial topics you are going to get a controversial and Faith Based answer from me so don’t even ask… I also dont like arguing and I’m too lazy to explain hehe 😅 (peace and love pookies)

Just know that I respect all opinions even if I don’t accept, believe or agree with them!

I’m most definitely a nerd, you will find me posting about niche interests, whether it’s my love for Jason Todd or hogwarts legacy or even Minecraft diaries.

Ik this sounds weird but yes I do listen to ASMR it’s really cute and I feel less of a need for a boyfriend because I know for a fact I am not ready spiritually and emotionally for a man 💀 that sounds like a really bad answer but asmr is very soothing and comforting especially when I feel quite lonely when I’m going through emotional turmoil, so try not to judge me too much :)

my favourite asmrist is Mai’s underground ASMR ( luv ya Mai) very very wholesome and just MUSIC TASTE IS WOW

I listen to a-lot of music; Frank Ocean, PinkPantheress, Daniel Seavey, Dean Lewis! Tons of RnB and Hip Hop and defo Pop music. I also love listening to Maronite Hymns <3 I’m not biased I just love Fairuz :)))

I don’t have any other accounts this is the only one and I love tumblr a lot and yeah LOL im too tired to create more jargon to explain myself!

My fav colour is pink? Also love making new friends hehe and im chronically online or playing royale high on roblox because im just a teensy weensy bit of a girlyyyyy girlllllll

Ok yup that’s all i can think of to include, sincerest apologies for the cringe or millennial style expression I watch too many old YouTubers! You guys will eventually get used to my chaotic nature tehe 🤭

Also please let me know for any prayer intentions also if you catch me swearing pray for me because it’s a really bad habit that I need to stop LOL okkiiii

BYE MY LOVES STAY HYDRATED AND AS ALWAYS GOD BLESSS <333

Also don’t be shy I’d love to have more friends so reach outttt!!! xoxoxo

[seeminglydark]

If you don’t mind, could Mickey and his partner get some love? Maybe something from their early relationship when they first got together.

Anon, I DONT mind at all! All the requests/prompts I’ve gotten were for JxC which I love, and I have one or two more I’ll do, BUT I may or may not have dropped everything when I got this one cuz THE BOYS YES I WILL DRAW the boys. This is slightly before their early relationship, which is hopefully ok, but I love bi panic reggie and oblivious Mick and I’ve had an idea of something like this for a while, so thank you for giving me the opportunity to make it! I AM going to draw some cuddles/spicy/thirst trap/relationshippy stuff with them more often I think.

Anyway for context for those who don’t know these characters, or haven’t read my smallest project Call Me Mickey, Mick and Reggie are married and from my comic Seemingly Dark. This scene is just after their MeetCute on the internets of 2008, when online user MightyMouse jumps on a bus to Seattle to check on his ‘best pal’ RockabillyReggie, who suffers from chronic depression. Mickey has never been in a real relationship or found himself attracted to any of the girls his other friends try to hook him up with back in LA, well it turns out that’s cuz he’s INCREDIBLY GAY and his new found friend Reggie helps him navigate new found feelings.

Reg, ofc, has a big thirst for this cute dude crashing on the couch in his apartment but tries very hard to keep his cool until Mick confesses to him later that night.

SO YEAH I really do love them. I don’t draw as much as I used too cuz I have a little bit of sad surrounding their stories (bad memory/sad boy hour stuff) but getting over that slowly but surely. And ofc Mick is the main protagonist in Seemingly Dark, least we forget. He has big things up ahead, and I cannot wait to show you he and Reggie’s continued story.

[girldragongizzard]

Chapter 7: Ptarmigan’s folly

Saturday isn’t the best day to start work on your own name change, but it’s the seventh of September and I have a fresh SSI deposit in my bank and no rent I need to pay. So, after the morning song, which I manage to initiate by starting just a smidge early, I settle down in the coffee shop with my tablet to learn about how to do it, and maybe pay the fees to get it started.

It looks like the procedure is pretty easy in Washington state, but there are two little snags.

It’s expensive. I can afford it, because I’m not paying rent. Kind of. That money is ideally going to go toward food now, though. But I can supplement my diet with seagulls if I have to.

And, I need more identification than just my enhanced state ID. Like, my birth certificate. And that’s in the stuff that’s supposedly been boxed up and sent to Nathan’s place to put in his garage. When Joel crashed through my apartment wall and trashed the place, I got evicted and trespassed. So, we’d arranged for that, and Nathan says it all seems to have arrived safely, but I haven’t had a chance to go through it all because he lives in another dragon’s territory.

I double check my Discord server for whose it is.

Ah, the individual I’d nicknamed Godzilla, who on my server is going by gronk_lizard.

I shoot him a DM asking if I may have permission to visit Nathan’s garage and look through my stuff that’s stored there. And then fret about the response, which doesn’t come immediately, or for a while.

OK, there’s a third and fourth snag in the name change process, but I’ve already talked about those, and plan to just deal with them when they come up. If I have to, I can send a human emissary to get permission from Waits to enter their territory to go to court. And there’s got to be some kind of concession for altered appearances with a photo ID, especially since other trans folk exist and go through this in their own way. Maybe that’s what the birth certificate is for.

I’m really hoping that asking permission with other dragons is going to work for visiting their areas of the city. This is so new, and I don’t think we’ve really tested this before. But, I think I’d be pretty reasonably chill myself if another dragon asked me, especially after my encounter with Astraia.

Gotta try it someday, why not today?

And I did. And I’m fretting, because gronk_lizard isn’t returning my message yet. He’s not even online, though.

As I take a moment drink my coffee, I realize that I’m hyperfocusing on this because maybe I feel the need to get back into, or establish, a mundane daily routine. I’m trying to ground myself in my identity, which is fair. But now that I’ve done what I can for the day and hit a hurry-up-and-wait snag, it kind of hurts.

The events of the last week, finishing off with that conversation yesterday, have been a bit much.

Especially that conversation. Especially the idea that I might be an Artist.

The idea feels absurd to me.

I don’t have an Art. Not that I know of. I don’t draw or write. Though I’m definitely thinking about writing! But I have no practice in it. I don’t do music. I don’t program. All I’ve ever really done is watch movies, read books, and daydream about being a dragon.

A lot of daydreaming about that. Especially as my chronic fatigue set in and I couldn’t do much else. Which.

I don’t have chronic fatigue anymore and it turns out I’m actually a dragon. So, what do I do?

I fucking go flying, eat seagulls, fight other dragons, and get in a turf war with the biggest, richest wizard in town, apparently!

Or, am I?

Is David Säure an Artist?

Or, did I misunderstand what Ptarmigan was saying?

I think about the main points of yesterday’s conversation, and realize that so much of what was said by both Ptarmigan and Chapman could be interpreted several different ways. And Chapman’s been talking like that since I met hir.

When Kimberly asked Ptarmigan her age, and Ptarmigan responded with “forty-nine”, she didn’t specific of what. Forty-nine years? Seconds? Eons? Heck, she didn’t even say, “I am”, so it might not even have been an answer. Just, “Forty-nine, I think.” Like, “I’m thinking of the number forty-nine.”

And, the reason this sticks with me is because I caught when Kimberly asked more directly if Ptarmigan was forty-nine years old, and Ptarmigan said, “No.”

I take a glance around the coffee shop and the street outside through the windows, and don’t see anyone I know well besides Nathan and Cerce behind the counter.

For some reason, my thoughts feel more private knowing I’m basically alone, and I continue puzzling this.

Maybe Ptarmigan was just saying that Daniel Säure’s involvement in local dragon politics is due to the work of an Artist, not that he was one.

I don’t want to give a billionaire any benefit of the doubt, but I’ve gotta concede I don’t know anything about him. Not even why he’s gone personally reclusive lately. And he could just be this hapless human being with way too much money and way too much interest in local politics.

The part where Ptarmigan was painfully honest and transparent, though, was when she admitted that she didn’t know if I was an Artist, only that it was a guess, and that she’d used divination to find the center of the global metamorphosis and it was apparently me.

Either she was outright lying there, or I was the center of it for some reason.

So, like, we’ve got this pair of immortal beings, supposedly. Or people pretending to be immortal beings, but they can definitely do magic of some sort. And they both have this habit of telling partial truths, or phrases that might as well be partial truths, to mislead or hide the actual truth. It creates this precedent of communication where I guess I expect them to keep up that habit.

So, when one of them then goes, “I don’t actually know. That was a guess. But what I found is that you’re at the center of this dragon event,” well, it stands out. It’s not the same pattern of communication.

What does that mean?

This is going to give me main character syndrome if I think about it too much.

If I take Ptarmigan’s report at face value, does that mean that my dream that night, in which I tore off my human disguise, was indicative of something bigger?

If I’m an Artist and don’t know about it, would that have been me subconsciously practicing my Art? Does dreaming count as an Art?

Or, maybe it’s transformation that’s the Art, but dreaming was my expression of it at the time.

If I had paper and could write this down, I feel like it would make sense on it. But, emotionally, it’s not clicking with me. I just feel numb and disconnected with it when I think about the idea that my own transformation, my own personal desires made manifest, actually affected the entire rest of the planet.

It’s just too much.

But I lift my chin and tilt my head like that one meme, and think that transformation would be a pretty fucking fantastic Art to have. Phenomenally powerful.

If I could somehow do that, transform myself or other people or things, I could use that Art to smooth out so many problems the, uh, global dracomorphosis is causing. At least locally, I think.

And trying it would either confirm or debunk Ptarmigan’s claims.

I could maybe get into that.

I’m honestly at a loss for what else to do, besides to continue networking with my new friends and trying to build a local coalition of dragons while some billionaire tries to ship us one by one out of the county.

There’s been no helicopter for the past two nights, though, that I know of, so it seems like we’ve got a bit of a reprieve. And I should probably take advantage of that.

Networking should only take a couple hours each day, at most, ideally. So the rest of the day I can use for planning, scheming, processing the idea of being somehow immortal or something myself, and experimenting.

Doing that might even keep me out of trouble with my neighboring dragons. You know, by mostly keeping to myself.

Except, I do want to move forward on this name change thing, and that is going to take some leg work. Or wing work.

Well.

I drink some more coffee, and focus on the process of doing that. Like eating, it's also pleasant, if nothing like what I used to do with a human mouth.

The best part of it for me, now, is tasting the air above the coffee before drinking it. There’s just so much detail to the aroma of the steam, so many volatiles lifting away in it. Each one is a different note of flavor. It's almost like I can taste each individual molecule as it alights on my tongue.

But, then, bathing my tongue in the liquid is a totally different beautiful experience, too. There's even more flavor there, but it all blends and swirls around my taste buds as I immerse my chin deep enough into the bowl to function as kind of a ladle, and lick.

Three licks and swallows with snout in bowl gives me a sense of drinking sips kind of like before. And then I lift my head up and back to swallow the gulp of fluid in the bottom of my mouth.

A huff and my tongue is swathed in the warmth of coffee breath and a whole other set of flavors, and I feel like I’ve permeated myself with the myriad of fascinating chemicals that make up the hot extract of coffee beans. Head high, eyes closing, I allow myself to float on the sensations and the memories they bring of doing this almost every morning since I awoke to my true self.

I hear the front door bell chime and jingle and have to stop myself from imitating the noise in response. I close my eyes tighter to distance myself from it.

After a couple of seconds, I hear Ptarmigan speaking to me her desert thunder of a voice.

“We should go for a walk,” she says. “Or, if you know some place private, that would be better. I want to work with you on something, if you’re up for it.”

I open my eyes and look at her in the collarbone. She’s dressed in exactly the same clothes as yesterday.

I’m not done with my coffee yet, so then I look at it, and then look back up at her.

“I’m sorry. You can take your time. I mean, I would like to meet with you some time today, if possible,” she says. “Can you? Will you? Do you have a good place for that?”

“Yes. Okay. Stay,” I say, without pulling out my tablet. Then I go for another mouthful of coffee and make a demonstration of it.

I don’t exactly dislike Ptarmigan. I’m intrigued by her. But I feel like she has disrupted my life just as thoroughly as Joel did when he crashed through my wall. And I do not trust her.

That lack of trust seems more important than anything.

And what she’s revealed to me has damaged my trust in Chapman, too, and I am not grateful for that.

I find that I don’t really want to do anything with Ptarmigan without Rhoda by my side. But she does have her own life, and she’s not here right now.

After sitting with the fumes of my last gulp of coffee for long enough that I feel I’ve made my point, I pull out my tablet and ask a simple question with it.

“What?” I inquire.

“I want to help you explore what I talked about yesterday,” Ptarmigan says. “Privacy would be good so that you don’t feel so self conscious about it. I like going for walks, but I understand your territory is smaller these days. Maybe your roof would work?”

Unfortunately, that’s exactly what I’m in the mood for doing right now. I’m so anxious today, I think I’m done with my coffee, despite how I’ve been trying to wallow in it.

I may not trust Ptarmigan, and I’m not exactly confident in my own decision making skills lately. But I’ve been really great at learning new stuff from my mistakes, and I’m desperate to be doing something productive and new.

I put my tablet away again and stand up, saying, “Okay. Go.” And then I walk out the door and lead the way to the fire escape.

It’s got one of those sets of stairs that only lower when weight is put on them, but I can reach that easily and pull it down, which I do. I climb partway up that and then wait for Ptarmigan to follow. And then we both climb to the top floor.

Leaping up to grab the roof from there is much easier than the last time I did it, and I’m sure I’ve grown a bit in length now.

Once up and in my new home, the rooftop, I turn around and watch Ptarmigan to see if she has any manner of getting up here herself.

She just watches me back, passively.

OK.

My haunches and tail are heavier than my front, so I figure I can help her up while using my hips as a fulcrum. I keep my wings folded and held as far back as possible while I walk to place my hind claws near the edge of the roof. Then I crouch and lean down and offer Ptarmigan my foreclaws, my tail rising in the air and arching behind me.

Then, when she grabs my foreclaws, I flap my wings furiously and lift with my legs to pull us both back up.

She walks up the side of the building with her feet and it all works pretty well.

I allow myself to be pleased with my feat of balance and strength.

Then we make our way to the center of the roof. And as I flap my wings a few times to stretch them again after working them for our ascent, her duster billows.

I find that I wish she was wearing a pair of dark black rimmed wrap around sunglasses, but she’s not.

“OK,” she says. “We can go about this a couple of different ways. We should try both. What are your hobbies? Do you do anything creative?”

“No,” I say. I hesitate for a moment to let that sink in, but then I pull out my tablet, and she watches me as I turn it on and make sure my app is open. “I used to read,” I take the time to say. “I used to daydream.”

“What do you do now?” she asks.

“Know Artists. Fight. Be dragon. Eat seagull. And fly,” I say, completely deadpan as usual. 

I’m being subtly funny, but it’s also basically the truth. Ever since my metamorphosis, I’ve been so content in a way I’ve never been before, despite all the stressors, that my usual coping mechanisms haven’t had any draw to me.

“Huh. OK,” my oblique reference to a meme seems to go right over her head. “What were you doing the night of the metamorphosis?”

“Dreaming,” I reply. “Woke up dragon.”

“Right. What was your dream about?”

“Removing human disguise.”

She points at me.

I figured as much.

“That’s it.” Then she sits down on the black tar roof, and says, “Now, describe that dream in detail, please. I’ll wait.”

I huff and look at the sky.

Then I oblige. This dream has stuck with me strongly since that night. I remember it as if I lived it while awake. And I’ve described it before, but it’s worth reviewing it.

I dreamt that I was back in school, college specifically, and it was one of those naked dreams. I spent about half the day interacting with professors and classmates before I really noticed, and I was in just my tighty whities, which is better than being completely naked, but not by much. What I hated more, in the dream as in real life, was my hairy chest and arms, the stubble of my beard, and the obvious bulge in my underwear. These were things that had been plaguing me since puberty, but I never felt like I could do anything about them. If I’d been willing to upend my whole life by admitting that I was a trans woman, which I absolutely never wanted to be (thank you internalized transmisogyny), I wouldn’t have been able to afford transition anyway.

Of course, with the Affordable Care Act, Washington State made it so that Medicaid and Medicare would cover transitional healthcare, including surgery if I’d wanted it. But, for some reason, I just couldn’t bring myself to come out. Not even after I’d lost the last attempt at a job I’d ever had, and settled into the Magnolia apartments friendless and hopeless and exhausted beyond belief. I didn’t have anything to lose anymore, but I couldn’t see how embarrassing myself by publicly transitioning would make my life any better. I was doing everything I needed by living as a woman online, I thought.

That history followed me into my dream, of course. And it colored everything and made me feel even worse and more desperate. I couldn’t believe I was back in school when I had such severe chronic fatigue, and I couldn’t even answer emails or voice messages anymore due to my C-PTSD.

And then, in the dream, one of my classmates, someone I’d made the mistake of considering a friend at the time, asked me why I’d decided not to wear any clothes.

And I turned to him and said, “Because dragons don’t need clothes.”

And then I ripped off my human disguise and woke up.

I simplify this considerably for Ptarmigan, condensing my personal history down to, “I’m trans. Was male in dream. Am female.”

She nods, and scratches at the stubble on her chin.

“Yeah, that shit sucks,” she says. “I’ve dealt with my own dysphoria in some terrible ways. I wish I could have done what you did.”

“You are Artist. You incarnate. Don’t you choose?” I ask.

“I’m not the Poet,” she says. “Sometimes I use words badly. But also, my existence is contradictory. I suspect yours is, too, if you look close or deep enough.”

“Explain.” I’ve decided I’m not putting up with any more vague bullshit from Artists. “Make me understand.”

“Yeah,” she says. Then she walks over to the southern edge of the building and looks out over the sound. “Being trans is part of my nature when I live as a human. I can’t stop from being it. All Artists are queer or neurodivergent or deviant in some way. This is one of my ways. It comes with the Art. In my case, I’ll choose one sex or another, and end up being a different gender from it. Kids these days would say that my sex is defined by my gender, and I like that. But I can’t explain what happens to me with those words because I’m not exactly born. So I’m not assigned the wrong sex at birth.” She looks back at me. “I choose, but then my choice is taken from me, by my own nature. But it’s even more absurd to me, because the whole gender thing as it is today is a construct of white supremacy. It should be irrelevant.”

That last comment seems like a confirmation to me that she’s Indigenous. But I don’t really know. The right thing to do is wait for her to share that information directly. And, she’s an Artist, not a human. Ethnicity may be irrelevant to her, too. There are more important things to consider at the moment.

“What’s your Art?” I ask.

She grins for the first time I’ve seen yet. It’s an awkward thing, full of ruefulness and stilted self consciousness, but her eyes twinkle.

“Nightmares,” she says.

I think about that for a moment, and she lets me, so I ask, “Did you cause mine?”

“No, I don’t cause nightmares,” she says. “Well. Not all nightmares. I navigate them. I find them. I dig into them. I pull them apart. And I learn from them. Or try. The world is full of so many of them, I’ll never read them all. Ever. But, similar to how Chapman’s Art works, it also turns out to be a pretty good way for making divinations. Which is how I found you.”

“What’s Chapman’s Art?”

“Physics,” she replies. “Sie is the Physicist. I’m the Nightmarist. And I’m trying to figure out what you are.”

“What if not Artist?” I ask.

“Then I’m thinking you’re something even more interesting, and I think you’ll want to know that as much as I do,” she says. “Your dream is definitely a big huge clue, too.”

“What is Säure?”

“A billionaire and an asshole who hides behind his carbon offset credits and social clout,” Ptarmigan says. “But I haven’t really taken a good look at him yet. I don’t know more than that. We’re going to have to find out. Chances are pretty good he’s just human, though. Most people are.”

“Yes,” I agree.

“Humans aren’t to be underestimated, though. They make tempting playthings for us Artists. And probably look tasty to you dragons sometimes. But they collectively control everything right now. And their short lives make some of them really bloody minded and rash.”

I don’t say anything to that. I’m not sure what to make of it. I agree with a lot of the words, but the sentiments are weird to me. A little off.

When it comes to my humans, at least, I just can’t bring myself to be that cynical.

“OK,” she says. “I think I want you to try daydreaming first. That will probably be the easiest test. I expect nothing from it, except maybe to be able to do a divination off of it if you daydream the right thing. But it’s the least amount of effort right off the bat. Are you up for it?”

“What about?” I ask.

“If my hypothesis that you’re the Artist of Transformations, or something like that, is correct, then that’s what you should daydream about. Try to recreate something like that dream you had, but while you’re awake.” She nods. “The next step is to put you to sleep and have you dream a nightmare like that for real, but that’s more invasive and more work. I’d rather not do it. Maybe if I learn the right things from this, we can try something else.”

“Okay,” I say, and then start pacing around the roof, looking at things, and thinking about what I should daydream about. What kind of transformation I should envision. And maybe what kind of nightmare scenario that transformation would solve.

Well, I’ve got a ready made scenario, at least. Säure’s next attack.

And my immediate emotional response is that I want to be bigger and tougher and able to withstand bullets. And to breathe fire indefinitely.

So, sure. I sit on my haunches near where Ptarmigan is standing and daydream about what that battle would be like. And about what it would be like to change my body into that greater draconic form.

While I do this, Ptarmigan pulls out a tiny sketchbook and a pen and starts scribbling in it while occasionally looking up at me. She sits down cross legged beside me after a few moments, and really gets lost in her work, flipping pages to work on new ones when the old one becomes too full of ink. And as she’s doing this, I feel a constant soft hum in the fabric of reality that has a harmonic in one of my nerves, like a slowed down and quieter version of the shift I get from Chapman when sie uses hir art.

In my mind, I’m taking to the sky and flying so high that it’s almost like I’m in orbit. And I’m so big and so impervious to everything that I can’t help but imagine that as being a form of intangible existence, like a spirit or a celestial being of some sort. A dragon made of starlight and lightning.

Bullets of any caliber are useless and helicopters go down in flames.

“Yeah. No. That would have been too easy,” the Artist of Nightmares says.

I break my revery and look over at my tablet before walking to it and tapping the screen for a bit, “Not work?”

“Oh, I read you just fine. You’re just not the Artist of Transformation,” she reports. “From what I can see, you’re just a dragon. It’s bewildering, frankly.”

“Told you,” I say.

“Sure,” she says. “Good solid nightmare visions, though. Thank you.”

I don’t have anything else to say to her at the moment. I’m once again at a loss myself. But, as I watch her, her eyes narrow.

“What?” I ask.

“Yeah, I’m definitely not done with you,” she says.

Whatever, I think to myself. At least I’ve made some personal psychological progress today. I now have something I can reliably daydream about when I want to relax.

“Done today,” I say. “Please go.”

“Sure,” she says again. “I need to think about this, anyway. Thank you for working with me.”

“Okay,” I say.

“Take care,” she says, then wanders over to where the fire escape is and lowers herself onto it carefully and disappears down the stairs.

I huff and look out over the water again. I have some more thinking to do of my own.

[rubywolf0201]

Gotta say, now that I'm watching the dub to Bucchigiri, I think it's pretty good, and even tries to clear things up in the dialogue, though not to the high standard of SK8's dub since there's no real standouts like David Wald's performance as ADAM.

The closest though has to be Ricco Fajardo's performance as Matakara. I've been following his roles for a decade now, and I'm impressed by his range across the shows he stars in and he manages to demonstrate that range so well here. Inversely, it's Arajin's VA who's new to voice acting, since this is his first major lead role in a dub.

Also a shout out to Shindo's dub VA for playing his first villain role in years and just delighting in chewing the scenery. It really sounds like he's enjoying this.

Yeah I caught a few of the dub clips on X/Twitter and while I do think that the dub cast isn’t as strong as the ones in SK8 (I WILL GET INTO THE SERIES SOON I PROMISE BUT NOT RIGHT NOW), I don’t mind it as I rather let some new talents shine and see how they perform in the long run. Well most of them are names I never heard of with maybe a few exception (Senya, Mahoro, Akutaro, Ichiya and Matakara).

So I’ll give out my opinions on some of the dub cast:

Arajin (Alex Mai): He isn’t bad by any means. I do like how in Episode 2, he made the scene where Arajin is forcibly pulled by Senya funnier than the original. Can’t wait to hear more of his performance.

Matakara (Ricco Fajardo): I only heard him a few times as Matakara but it is decent. It sounds close to his performance as Pandreo in FE Engage but with a much more mellow tone to it. (I don’t know how would Ricco tackle Corrupted!Matakara but I’ll just wait and see once all episodes are up) It’s a shame he doesn’t even mention or like any BUCCHIGIRI?! posts when I felt that it was a pretty decent role he has (tho then again not every VA’s are chronically online)

Mahoro (Lindsey Seidel): She’s ok so far. But I do think her raspy voice when showing her spiteful side felt a little off compared to the original VA where she just lower a few octaves or so but it’s still an okay-ish performance so far.

Marito (Kieran Fullton)- For a new-ish VA, his performance for Marito is just as close to the Japanese performance. I like how he balances out Marito’s playful side but also his sneakiness in some parts such as in the scene of Episode 2 where he asked Matakara about Arajin’s whereabouts before he gleefully says he is going to make him join Siguma.

Senya (Chris Guerrero)- I agent heard much but he does seem to act out the best he can. The part in Episode 2 where he managed to perfectly replicate the performance in the original where Senya is acting like a meow meow is just 👌🏻

Zabu (Daniel Van Thomas)- I think he’s ok but I do have certain issues in that I felt that his voice felt way too deep for a 16-17 year old boy. Still, it’s a decent performance but I preferred the original better (Sorry 😅)

Komao (James Marler)- I think he’s ok from the few clips I’ve seen, almost as close to the JP VA performance but still having some few differences here and there.

Outa (Wyatt Baker)- Can’t say much tbh. (Sorry)

Jabashiri (Alex Hom)- He’s alright so far. I only heard a bit of him back in Apothecary Diaries so it’s a bit surprising he was chosen to play Jabashiri.

Hagure (Van Barr Jr.)- Can’t say much tbh but I do like some of his performances from the few clips I caught of him.

Akutaro (Aaron Dismuke)- I do like his performance as Akutaro, sounds almost close to the original as well esp in that clip in Episode 6 where he ‘thanked’ the whole of Minato Kai and Siguma Squad for being close to his goal.

Overall, those are just my thoughts on the dub VA performance.

[j0jorocity]

THE CHRONICALLY ONLINE ROME FAN’S BLOG

HELLO! WELCOME TO MY LITTLE CORNER OF THE INTERNET!

I’m Iosephus! Here’s some stuff you should know about me before deciding to interact (byi list):

I AM UNDER 18! Under 12 and over 28 I would prefer not to interact with.

I use she/her pronouns and feminine terms but I guess I don’t mind masc and neutral pronouns and terms (link to my pronouns page)

I’m Hispanic (🇨🇺🇵🇪 RAHHHH) and I can speak English and Spanish just fine, though my Spanish isn’t the best 😞

I LOVE ROME SOKSSOSOOSOSSOSOSOS MUCH HES MY FAVOURITE EVER!!!!!!!! AND THE ANCIENTS!!!!!! And the rest yeah whatever

Hetalia is my main hyperfixation but I also like C*untryhumans. Please don’t block me I SWEAR IM COOL I LITERALLY DONT INTERACT WITH THE FANDOM AT ALL

IF WE’RE CLOSE I WILL USE MILDLY SEXUAL HUMOUR AND KMS JOKES (never kys). IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH WHAT I SAY PLEASE LET ME KNOW

I tend to be very straightforward with people who suddenly dm me, but I promise I’m not trying to be mean! :(

NOW, FOR SOME OF MY INTERESTS, FAVOURITE CHARACTERS AND ETC!

(In order from most hyperfixed to least, will also include my fave characters from each fandom and other thoughts)

HETALIA

Rome and literally all the ancients. I’m sorry I don’t care for the main cast but I like PruHun too

C*UNTRYHUMANS

IM SORRY OK IVE BEEN IN THIS FANDOM FOR FOUR YEARS I CAN’T

Anyways I like ch America but only in my head. Please don’t block me please please please I want friends

SPY X FAMILY

I’m rewatching the anime rn lol, in the future I might post about this more

LOID FORGER I NEED A LOID FORGER IN MY LIFE

COOKIE RUN KINGDOM

I started playing around Pumpkin Pie’s banner and then quit for like two years. Picked it back up during wind archer’s banner and I’m OBSESSED

I can’t choose my absolute favourite but I show more love towards dark cacao, latte and almond (as a ship mostly), advenberry, financier (my WIFE!!!), burning spice (recently developed a new obsession w him). Characters I wouldn’t call my favourites but I think are super cool are cream ferret, mystic flour, wind archer, smoked cheese, golden cheese, pure vanilla, lilac, dark choco, and peach blossom!! I don’t play Ovenbreak but I’d love to learn more abt fire spirit, millennial tree, and yogurt cream…… user is sanestaphromefan on dark cacao server

Less intense interests (that I might repost but not talk about) include:

Octonauts

Wild Kratts

Carmen Sandiego (2019 Netflix ver)

JJK

Epic: The Musical

This list may change

IF YOU CAN’T TELL I LOVE TALKING. BUT THERE’S SOME PEOPLE THAT LIKE CERTAIN THINGS THAT I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO!

My DNI list:

General criteria

BIGOTS. HOMOPHOBES, TRANSPHOBES, RACISTS, MISOGYNISTS, TRUMP SUPPORTERS, ETC, DNI.

PROSHIPPERS AND JUST PPL WHO LIKE PROBLEMATIC SHIT I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH 😭😭😭😭

(This includes, but not limited to: USUK, Itacest, Germancest, SPAMANO, CANAME/FRANADA/CANUK, SovReich, AND BURNINGCHEESE/SHADOWVANILLA/MYSTICCACAO, ANY BEAST X ANCIENT SHIPS. To be completely honest I GUESS I can talk with proshitters BUT DON’T FUCKING BRING THIS SHIT UP AROUND ME I HATE IT SO MUCH I DONT WANT TO HEAR PEOPLE DEFEND THESE SHIPS)

People who use brainrot humour 24/7 and are generally just annoying. Get a life.

PEOPLE WHO DON’T RESPECT OTHERS OPINION, KEYBOARD WARRIORS, ETC.

Artists who twinkify Poland more than he is 😭

May add more to this later since I’m forgetting a few things

YAY! You’ve almost made it through my intro post! Here’s just a last few tidbits about myself and then I can shut up 🫶

I HAVE A BAJILLION ANCIENTS HETALIA OCS (like less than 15 💀) AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE TALKING ABOUT THEM PLEASE ASK ME ABT THEM AND I ALSO WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ABT UR ANCIENTLIA OCS IF U HAVE ANY!!!

I have another blog for said ocs, @rometalia ,,, it’s a bit dead rn bc I’ve been busy with school :(

I’m open to all asks!!! But please nothing inappropriate I am a minor AND NO POLITICS 😭😭

My favourite hetalia ships are gerrome (OTP but it’s different in a way in my head. Talk to me about them I dare you), PruHun, SwissAus and amepan! I also like spaus and FrUK. Some ships I’m kind of on the fence about are rusame, rochu, generally any russia ship and most America ships but I consume and repost fanart of these ships just because I like the art!

My favourite YouTubers are Uncle Roger, Nick DiGiovanni and Guga. I love food and I kinda wanna become a chef in the future ☺️

Trying to beat the art block allegations day 37273627

MY BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD IS @fertaine !!!! I LOVE YOU MY POOKIE WOOKIE BEAR!!!!! FERTAINE HATERS DNI DNI DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT APPROACHING ME I AM THEIR NO.1 FAN AND DEFENDER

My gerrome side blog is @j0jorocityisntokay

If you see me reblogging from a proshipper (USUK and Spamano especially in this case), please let me know! I most likely didn’t know they supported these ships.

Almost forgot to mention, but here are my tags!

#jojo reblogs -> self explanatory

#jojo rambles -> me yapping or answering to asks, idk

#aph jojo rambles -> anything related to hetalia, so probably headcanons or whatever lol

#rome posting -> self explanatory

#flippity fart farmland posting tag -> me talking to Fern ☺️

#jojo’s art -> updated once in a blue moon I hate my art

Will add more as I see fit

THAT IS ALL, MY FRIENDS! I HOPE TO HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME ON THIS WEBSITE! 🫶

(The dividers that aren’t red roses belong to @kostevysen )

[phatcatphergus]

yes!!! i love the little discussion/analysis you have going on! it always annoys me when people brush off tubbo saying stuff like ‘cooking is like create’ as him being weird or needing to touch grass. it’s not really about his minecraft obsession (ok it is a little) it’s about how his brain works and it’s a really interesting idea if you stop and think about it. people are too quick to dismiss his crazier statements sometimes but a lot of the time he’s totally right if you can look at it from a different perspective or understand that sometimes his wording is odd but the concept is solid.

(also lmao at pulling up your blog to see the last reblog being about asks. i've been seeing more anons/asks on this side of tumblr recently and i think it's neat!)

I think that a lot of the brushing off comes from the tubo moment/bee boy mentality. The fact that people see him as some quirky 3 year old and treat him as such leads so many people to brush him off, including himself. I think this is perpetuated by a few people, including his friends, who don’t see him as a ND adult and instead see him as some quirky teenager who’s too chronically online and privileged. (The topic of him being privileged is another rant for another time but people saying that to him makes me cringe a bit).

I think that when he first made the create/cooking comment, it was a genuine realization that he made about his comprehension of the subject. Afterwards, he repeated it because of how outlandish it sounds and how chat reacts to him saying it. But I think he has a few things that he does or says that he means genuinely because it makes sense in his mind and he doesn’t think about how it sounds to others. This leads to controversies of course, but i digress. I think that people don’t take him seriously for and he gets self conscious about it and doubts his own comment or understanding. Part of this may be because his friends poke fun at some of his ND behaviors in a joking way and don’t realize how serious he is about it.

The one example I can recall is the drunk MCC that Tubbo did with Tom, Jack, and Becky. Tubbo talked about how his dad did his dishes because the feeling of wet dishes/leftover food made him extremely uncomfortable. Of course, this sounds lazy and entitled to a lot of people and he was made fun of for it, but in a ND context *cough*autism*cough* it makes sense. His aversion to car seatbelts is the same thing. He has a lot of sensory issues and speaks about it often enough, he spoke about it a lot when making his og merch an how he wanted it to not “feel bad” and have good fabric because some fabrics bother him.

He never takes himself seriously because other people don’t and don’t allow him to. His brain works in very relative things (I know how i understand create mod and i can apply that to how i understand cooking) and if people allowed him to actually work out the true intention behind it, then more people would realize exactly how interesting his mind is. I fucking love psychoanalyzing him because of it.

Also, I’m so happy that people are talking about this stuff because its so interesting to me. I could talk about what II think of him on any topic for hours, there is literally so much to unpack about him. I think there’s an aversion to talking about creators themselves because they’re real people, which I get, but i think having open discussions and critical analysis of people keeps them human and isn’t a bad thing. So long as its not blatant hatred, talking about mentality, likes an dislikes, and behavior of creators is valid and needed in a space so people don’t become untouchable gods that are adverse to problems.

[beardedmrbean]

[Huey Zoomer Anon]

If "Male and pale is stale.” a phase going on in Hollywood is the phase “Brown with substance is nonsense” is going on as well?

Non white cultures, history, mythos and folklore have been the most accessible for accurate adaptations as it ever been for Hollywood to use

But what they still do? Primarily half ass adapted then or don’t use them at all

Like the usage of black characters in fantasy…Jesus fucking CHRIST, just say a African inspired kingdom based off say the Mali decided make larger trade routes with Europeans inspired fantasy kingdoms and said that a group of them decided to migrate to the euro kingdoms for a reason

Wait the left trade routes right?

Riiiiiiight?

Oh say do steampunk since…you know…it based of the First Era of the Modern Age (okay I need a better term) while black Americans didn’t have equal rights we was doing shit

Hmm mechanical dinosaurs (legal distinct enough for you know who do sue my ass. Company starts with a H), mechanical dragons, floating cities, blimps, flying ships

Sorry overthinking

But no substance, depth, and that good shit

Wait why you hate the audience? Y’all thought the certain idiots on tumblr and twitter and in the Bay Area represent how all modern audience

I mean they been trying to pander to me….but it didn’t work

Also being anti white and man…your main consumer bases…

Are they only hired sheltered af upper middle class people as advisors?

If "Male and pale is stale.” a phase going on in Hollywood is the phase “Brown with substance is nonsense” is going on as well? Non white cultures, history, mythos and folklore have been the most accessible for accurate adaptations as it ever been for Hollywood to use But what they still do? Primarily half ass adapted then or don’t use them at all

You may be onto something there with the nonsense bit, really wish that some good adaptations of different African folklore could be made

Like the usage of black characters in fantasy…Jesus fucking CHRIST, just say a African inspired kingdom based off say the Mali decided make larger trade routes with Europeans inspired fantasy kingdoms and said that a group of them decided to migrate to the euro kingdoms for a reason

That could actually work, group migrated to a empty area in they caucuses or something, historical fiction/fantasy and all.

Wait the left trade routes right?

That's capitalism and therefore bad, wishes and fairy dust are the way to go there.

Oh say do steampunk since…you know…it based of the First Era of the Modern Age (okay I need a better term) while black Americans didn’t have equal rights we was doing shit

Mid industrial revolution works.

Hmm mechanical dinosaurs (legal distinct enough for you know who do sue my ass. Company starts with a H), mechanical dragons, floating cities, blimps, flying ships Sorry overthinking But no substance, depth, and that good shit

Not sure which company, but that's ok keeping things vague is fun at times.

Wait why you hate the audience? Y’all thought the certain idiots on tumblr and twitter and in the Bay Area represent how all modern audience

Honestly this is one of the big issues with 'influencer' culture, especially with folks in marketing that don't understand the concept of the hate follow.

The whole Morbious thing really highlighted how clueless they are and how easy it is to manipulate things like that.

I mean they been trying to pander to me….but it didn’t work Also being anti white and man…your main consumer bases…

Wild to see a company that wants to make money purposely alienating their largest consumer base like they have been, please market to whomever you like but if you'd like to keep customers insulting them is a bad way to do that.

Are they only hired sheltered af upper middle class people as advisors?

Chronically online millennials and zoomers who are in denial about being chronically online would be my guess.

[nana2009]

ok i'm not one to comment on these kind of stuff and i'm a bit out of the bubble but apparently chronically online motherfuckers have decided to, once again, cancel funamusea.

seriously? a-fucking-gain? for the same fucking reason back in 2014, it's happening again because some twitter dwellers don't like HER CONTENT that she makes WITH HER OWN GODDAMN CHARACTERS.

how low in life do you have to be to instigate your own ideals of what's right and wrong on others, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE FROM A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CULTURE. yea, she may draw violence and controversial topics that are seen in a bad light(with a completely valid reason, i understand!) but for fucks sake, no one deserves to be burnt at a fucking stake over FICTION.

why don't you use your rage against somefin actually fucking dangerous to others, like, y'know, actual predators????? and leave this poor old woman alone, she's already went through so much, she doesn't need any more of your shit.

Funamusea is completely justified in stopping content for west audiences, and i hope she gets better soon. I love you sensei <3

[null-whump]

!!Opening Commissions!!

In yet another installment of life kicking me while I'm down, my bank account was compromised and I lost over a third of my savings. I can't work full-time because of my chronic pain and mental health, so I've been trying to do freelance and online work for the past month, but it's not the most reliable source of income. Basically, I'm looking for any way to scrape together funds so that I'll have an ok amount saved for when I move in May.

If you're aware of the rest of the saga then you know I can't get help from my parents, and my siblings, who would help if they could, aren't financially well enough off to provide much.

All this to say! I'm opening up commissions for writing and art! I set up an account on fiverr for my art commissions - I'm trying to get a refurbished tablet for cheap so I can resume digital art but for now it's just traditional.

My Fiverr

For writing, if you donate through my Paypal and send me a screenshot, I'll write something you request, with the length depending on how much you donate. Right now I'm thinking:

$5 or more: a snippet, around 400-500 words

$15 or more: short one-shot, around 900-1100 words

$30 or more: longer one shot, around 1900-2100 words

$45 or more: 3000-3500 words

My Paypal

Any little bit helps, even just sharing this post around!

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Ok forgetting moment pt. 20 I left the note where I wrote this open and can’t rmr if I actually sent it or not so if I did please delete this LMAO

FRRR I also really enjoy the panel where he has a lot of dark shadows on his face and he’s telling nagi not to get cocky after he was like “am I really a genius?”

RIN you getting inspiration for Rin is actually kinda crazy LMAOO but omg kiyora??? Your blog is just side character paradise atp but wait I’m kinda curious what else is in line in your inbox (if it’s not a secret you’re trying to keep LOL)

Karasu Shidou new duo coming soon move over Otoya /j but they definitely match each others freak LMAOO I bet Karasu’s like “your freaky but also extraordinary so I can respect you” and shidous just “yahoo!! Karasu chan!!” LOL

Karasu IS dad material he’s just the man of all men >>>> he would totally just lift his kid up and stare at them like “damn this extraordinary kid is MINE???”

I CANT WAIT FOR KARASU ARGUING WITH THE REF LMAOOOO and the stripper king scene is too funny!! Im also very excited for the moment that Barou and Nagi accidentally head butt each other HAHAHA

No because that’s so real I used to be SOOO into jjk and now it’s just kinda…..I am glad that the rollercoaster of a really confusing story is coming to an end so the suffering can stop but oh my…really hoping gege decides to put a bit of effort in for the ending!!!

Also I saw the pictures from your other ask reply and OMGGG THEYRE GORGEOUS!!! Looks like it was sm fun too! Hope you’re feeling better now and that your doctor has a solution for your nausea symptoms!

- Karasu anon

LMAO okay so you did send this in HOWEVER tumblr didn’t notify me?? which is why i took so long to respond despite now being at home and back to my chronically online ways (albeit jet lagged and still suffering from a migraine but we up) so it’s all good that you resent it HAHAAH

that panel is so villainous but so good HDJFLSKS like he looks EVILLLL but in such a cunty way!! i love how they’ve been juxtaposing karasu and nagi as of late…not just in personality but even in looks/drawing style they’re truly such opposites that their panels together slap SO hard 😮‍💨 definitely not biased because those two are my favs nope not at all

NO THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING like if an idea for NAGI (my number one my baby the loml) can give me RIN inspiration it can truly happen to anyone 😬 imagine i try writing for karasu and then all of a sudden isagi is there?? like bro fuck off why are you wiggling your way into a plot that is NOT for you 😓 AND YES KIYORA I’M SO EXCITED tbh there’s lowkey no info abt kiyora even on the wiki so it’s time for me to take mad liberties with his character 😏 which i do love doing hehehe so i’m hype!! i’m so glad to be a safe space for side character enjoyers 🙏🏻 the more obscure the better…lowkey it’s so fun to write for characters like kiyora because i can truly write whatever and it’s so hard to make him ooc because what character does he even have to be in yk 😭 any “oocness” is just me giving him depth etc etc it may make the fic outdated once more comes out on him but me personally idc + i’m always spot on so 🥱 (mostly /j although in doing one of my current requests i realized that the reader calls kaiser a dog in the instrument and now it’s been revealed that his fav animals are stray dogs so maybe i’m onto smth fr 🫣)

LMAO no secrets here!! i have a note with my current requests so i’ll just paste that here 😄 they’re in chronological order of when the req was made but i fear i am NOT completing/posting them in that order 😟

[Secret gaming buddies — hiori

Prodigies — hiori

Singing reader — karasu

Karasu anon requests (any)

Classmates/friends to lovers — nagi

Karasu anon requests pt 2 (any)

Vague prompt — karasu or zantetsu

Cherry tree pt 2 — rin

The instrument pt 2 — kaiser (abt to post this one after i respond to some asks and take a post-riding lesson shower FJSKSK)

Vague prompt — kiyora]

vague prompt just means the person requested a character and literally nothing else HAHA but also yeah…as you can see karasu nation has been busy…although there are a couple of popular characters thrown in there!! i think once i post pt2 of the instrument i’ll probably get more reqs because atm i haven’t done a req since the last part of fwtkac and since that wasn’t answering an ask (since it was multiparts) lowkey people have probably forgotten i opened reqs back up again for bllk 😭 anyways hoping to get some more of these out of the way now that i have more free time and am not busily vacationing/writing karasu’s version of bfb (still cannot believe that’s the longest bllk fic i’ve written so far 😩)

HAHAAH EXACTLY like karasu acknowledges shidou’s freak but he’s undeniably talented/not mediocre so karasu has no choice but to be gang with him…meanwhile shidou is in it for the vibes + he thinks the bullshit karasu says abt erotic left legs and whatnot is super funny so they get along very well 😭 rip tabieita but i fear i am now a ryutabi TRUTHER 🤩 jkjk but no actually i’m going to make them besties at some point even if it’s just in a smau (although the otoya + shidou duo is also hilarious so dare i say trio?? and then yukimiya can get actually normal somewhat mature friends like reo and barou 😰)

THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING like bro is starstruck that he somehow managed to create something so perfect 🥹 honestly he already has parenting experience (dealing with pxg) i just know he’s prepared and ready for it

OMG YES literally any and all nagi + barou interactions i’m so excited because i miss them being together so much 😭 BEST bllk duo no question i cannot wait for them to be reunited post nel (because despite what the haters say nagi is NOT going anywhere and barou is eating it up atm so safe to say he’s staying)

i agree completely…i think it’s a mix of the pacing just not being enjoyable to me weekly + everyone dying + me getting busy with irl and then becoming super into bllk as soon as i had free time that just really made me so lukewarm!! i think it’s impressive what gege has managed to create and for sure what he does well he does EXCELLENTLY so i’m not here to hate as some people have been doing however i do think the writing is not always as good as it’s hyped up to be either (cough female characters cough) and there’s def spots that make me go “hm” 😔 i’m hoping the ending is satisfying and wraps up any loose ends but we’ll see…anyways leaks tn for jjk i think so ig we can get a pretty good idea of what’s going to happen based on the chapter!!

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL OVER THERE FR like sometimes i’d just stand there and be like “wow this feels like the set of a movie” it literally just didn’t even seem real at times 😭 probably going to call the doctor at some point this week and hopefully they offer good solutions because i’m still dizzy even lying in bed at home 😓

[necrocities]

Since asks/dms aren't open, message for @entropy-sea-system below.

Still feel weird about making a post post, so I'll put this under a cut

Re: tags on this post and college

I don't know how much it'll mean, but specifically about how the medical field and doctors can be seen.

I want to say how valuable it can be to see other disabled people in this field. You don't have to be a shining star in a corrupt field to mean something to patients. It's valuable in itself to see someone who may understand or at least be less harsh on us due to mutual chronic struggles.

So, with this being a largely stressful factor, I hope I can ease that a bit. Other docs and their corruption, or the corruption of the medical system, don't make you automatically lesser for going into it. Even if vague people across the internet would be judgemental, they're not the ones coming into your office.

And if they do, they're asking for help regardless. So they'll have to swallow their indignity a bit.

I think I'm seeing that being an aspect of this stressor. The difference of online vs offline interactions. It's something that gets me as well. And hey. Shitty people are out there, but in such smaller quantities. Your average patient is there for help, and I swear it'll be ok.

I spent a lot of time in various medical facilities growing up, not just hospitals, and some people just won't click with their physician. But they don't go home with you at night. So they'll move on if the interaction isn't ideal. But those who do come to you again and again, they're looking for insight, to be taken seriously, and a shoulder to lean on. That line of professionalism helps on that end, I think.

It's normal for patients to find docs who keep a straight face, those who are expressive, and so many different mannerisms, but they understand at the end of the day that professionalism is a layer that demands respect.

Not in an authoritarian way either. But to know, they'll have to be respectful and work with you, not against you, to have an easier time sorting out medical issues.

Ah, ended up writing quite a bit. But I knew I had plenty to say, so I hope the words mean something.

[blurrymango]

You may not be the most braindead chronically online loser I've seen on here, but you're definitely in the top 10. Also I don't know how you think people would pay for your ugly ass low effort commissions, they range from looking like a 12 year old just discovered MS paint to a quarter finished doodle on some math homework

Well anon that's because some of them are quite literally made in MS Paint.

But also,my art is not low effort, I put time and love and joy into most everything I draw. Because I enjoy drawing.

Like yeah they're sloppy and scribbly and they look very unfinished but I like doing it.

Shit, even the MS Paint stuff I enjoy.

Yeah they're not good. But they're fun to make.

I draw mainly for myself. I draw my OCs a lot.

Because I enjoy it. I like what I do.

And I improve!

DOKI DOKI JUMPSCARE.

So uh.

Sorry you don't like my art, anon. And YEAH ffuck it does hurt a bit that no one wants to commission me, but that's ok. Because it doesn't stop me from making art that I enjoy.

Also yes I am chronically online blah blah blah I don't have a job yet and I'm not really trying all that hard to get one yadda yadda. I'm not a loser I'm a jock, I'm not braindead I'm autistic and correct and based and so on and so forth anyway why do you feel the need to hide behind anon or even send hateful shit in the first place? Who does it benefit? Not me, it's not going to make me change my beliefs, and it's certainly not helping you. I mean, you wasted your time seething over some autist online who makes "ugly low effort art" and I took that as an opportunity to show off some of my art.

I think instead of being a cringe hater, you should try being a based music fan. And by that I mean, I want people to listen to my playlist of songs I like immediately.

So yeah. :) :P :3

[sparethedreamer]

As with many things in life, context matters.

For instance, I have severe me/cfs, a chronic and debilitating condition that forces me to be in bed for over 20 hours each day. At the same time, I also have to deal with stuff like clinical depression, anxiety disorders, PTSD, and many more health issues. These all work together to make life pretty difficult. My health is already ruined.

One thing I quickly learned after becoming mostly bedbound was that if I just lay here, doing nothing all day, my mental health will plummet. I can't read books or talk to people for extended periods of time. I can't write poetry or do jumping jacks or even shower more than about once a week (with a shower chair). I can't get my own food and rely on family to keep me alive. I don't have that much energy and if I try to push past my energy limitations, my health, mental and physical, is negatively impacted and life becomes hell until I can recover. If I can even make it back to whatever baseline I was at.

There is no permanent recovery for me. There is no permanent recovery for so many people with chronic illnesses, neurodivergencies, and mental health conditions. It is ok for us if we need to use social media to for a distraction, entertainment, enrichment, education, socialization, etc. because sometimes it's social media and YouTube and what-have-you, or it's nothing. Or it's pushing ourselves too hard trying to do the productive/'correct' activities and compounding the problem. Or not being able to take the time we need to let our bodies heal, ruining the chance we could have had to recover.

If you're able to go out and do stuff, great, go do that. Obviously social media and online content can cause additions and problems if used incorrectly or in excess. It can also be a powerful tool for people like me. I'm able to still do something fun with my time. I learn things at my own pace. I can kind of interact with people. It's not perfect and I'd much rather be doing something else, but at least it's something.

The whole point of this post is to address the judgement of those of us with disabilities and neurodivergencies by able-bodied and neurotypical people or anyone who just doesn't get why some of us can't "just do something better" with our time. It's about those of us who have to deal with these issues for potentially the rest of our lives because there is no cure, no full recovery, no accomodations from society, nothing better we can do without causing ourselves harm. It's not about making excuses to be lazy nor is it excusing some bad habit we have that we'd just prefer to not address. It may surprise you to learn that most of us are doing everything we can, and then some.

Sorry, but for some of us, cake is all we have to eat and we're trying not to starve. We're just asking for a bit of understanding from those of you with fully stocked kitchens who have the luxury of choosing to eat healthy.

I know you meant well with your addition. It still came across as judgemental, invalidating, insensitive, and oblivious. I hope this shed some light on why.

-Flare

“If you have time to be on social media, you also have time for…” “If you have time to watch Netflix, you also have time for…” Yeah, but do I have the energy for it? Do I have the emotional and mental capacity for it? Am I pain-free enough for it? Can I focus on it? Can I do it without leaving my bed? Can I safely do it without risk of (physically or emotionally) injuring myself by pushing past my boundaries?