#i make decisions and i either dont do them or i do them in a whim without second thoughts
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re what they are saying about fiyero on twitter - gosh there is too much stuff. they talk about how uninteresting he is, how his presence has no effect on the leads, how he shouldn’t be elphaba’s endgame and doesnt deserve to be, how they want to delete him from the plot (somewhere along those line), how they want to block anyone making any fiyeraba or fiyero tweets or content and much, much, MUCH more like i genuinely do not understand the obsession?
i of course get not liking him, thats normal about any character lol but the way they just cannot shut up about how they dislike him is so….. like really no one is challenging your gelphie content 😭 we really are not interested to challenge your ship. you really dont need to focus on this guy 24/7 but ig you do you i hope they remain sane amidst all the apparent misery lol
well. you know. disappointed by not surprised. a partial fiyero ted talk under the cut. sorry.
it's like. it's just so frustrating to write him off as uninteresting and as having no effect on either elphaba (or glinda). like guys why is the media literacy not happening right now. also how the fuck would you delete him from the plot???? guys his plan is literally how elphaba escapes dorothy. he's the one who saves her from the gale force, TWICE. he literally sacrifices himself for her escape and its his sacrifice that makes her spiral into "wickedness" during no good deed.
also, fiyero is elphaba's endgame in part because he does what glinda cannot bring herself to do. WHICH IS SO VITAL TO THE ENDING. fiyero is the one who makes all of the sacrifices for elphaba that glinda refused, and he both pays the price for it and reaps the reward of it.
glinda and elphaba have a profound effect on each other, obviously, but it's not like fiyero is left unchanged by elphaba. i dont get where this idea that fiyero and elphaba have no dynamic because like??? that's just not true?????
fiyero goes from refusing to confront the difficulties of life to choosing the more difficult path for the sake of morality and loyalty and love because of elphaba (which is also really interesting given how he's, like, kind of a casualty of war in the book more than he is an actual rebel....mostly fiyero's book to musical adapation is #Rough but that's a cool parallel i hadn't noticed before).
glinda begins to see the flaws in the wizard's society, but she actively chooses to be a part of the system anyway. and she regrets it. that's the whole thing abt thank goodness!!!
fiyero, on the other hand, begins to see the flaws in this society and he chooses elphaba--and the life of rebellion that she's chosen--over everything that glinda admits to being unable to resist.
and GOD. guys that's so interesting. HES SO INTERESTING!!! how are you not interested by all of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wicked is such a cool study on morality and what the "right" thing to do in such a world is, and what it means to make the decision to do the right thing vs the comfortable thing. fiyero chooses to follow elphaba and he pays the price, but he also doesn't regret it. glinda chooses the "safe" option--but in the end, even if she chooses good then, she's entirely alone in it all.
and that's SO INTERESTING!!!!!!!!! god. whatever. twitter just doesn't get him like you and me get him, anon.
just. it's totally fine to dislike him! i'm not refuting people's right to dislike him. the nature of fictional characters is that sometimes people will dislike them. like that's fine.
but being incapable of shutting up about how much you hate a character just...it stops being "harmlessly disliking a fictional character" and starts being "you are insufferable to talk to." like sorry you're so miserable about fiyeraba but i'm gonna be over here just having fun because that's what fandom is supposed to be about :)
(also, just a major issue with breaking this movie up into two films released a year apart is that any movie-only fans just don't get the point of fiyero's character. it's kind of devastating. ik not all of the people saying that stuff are movie-only but man. the people who are...im BEGGING you to give him a chance in part 2. literally BEGGING you. fiyero is such a good character. he has so many good moments. let the green girl go lives in my head rent free and if they cut that i'll riot.)
tldr; fiyero is SO neat and twitter is just full of cowards.
#ask#wicked#fiyero tigelaar#fiyeraba#oh my god this got so much longer than i meant it to#remember how i said i could write essays abt him.#i was not fucking kidding.#sorry anon i know you did not ask for this.
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PJO ≠ Greek Mythology
I can't believe I have to say this but I swear by the gods, the next time I see a pjo fan saying "the gods can be easily overthrow. This is canon on riondanverse and in greek mythology" or "yes. Mortals, specially demigods can win a fight against the olympians and easily defeat them. It happend on greek mythology. So it is plausible for Percy overthrow Zeus." I'm gonna riot.
You want a story where Percy takes down Olympus? Ok! There may be fics on ao3. You want a fic where Zeus is taken out of his crown and someone else takes his place? Fine. There may be fics on ao3 with this premise. I may hate this take, and I won't read it. But if you like, go ahead.
The riondanverse barely scratches the greek mythology correctly. The Gods are marely réplicas of the tales of Old. They dont match with their myths - since Riordan basically blanded one myth on the other, or created a few himself. - The PJO Gods are not a source for greek mythology, they dont properly represent their importance, much less their complexity, nuance and power.
So stop. Just stop spreading misinformation about Mythology - which u know nothing about if you are saying those things - or using it as a basis to your takes.
The Gods, the Olympian Counsil cannot be "easily" overthrow in any possible way. Using the idea "Zeus did that with Khronos so it is easy" is literally absurd. Zeus is a God. He has always been a God. He was born a God.
Only a God can fight another one and win. And a mortal - including demigods - can only harm a God with divine help - which usually is Athena's helping them. - No God can overthrow Zeus powerwise, let alone a mere mortal (Im looking at you, Epic fans). He is the King of Gods for a reason. That is a fact in greek mythology.
But if you want a good idea of "dethrone Zeus" trope acordding to Hesiod, there was a prophecy one of Zeus children would be the one to do it. When Zeus learned about it, he pushed a Khronos and devoured one his pregnant wives, Métis. Athena was still born from his head though.
Do you know what he did to Athena? Nothing. She is his favorite kid. He kept doing it? Also no. He never did that again. And all his god children were welcome in Olympus. Even Dionysus - who was born a mortal and ascended. Even Heracles, who became a minor god.
+ the "overthrown" of Zeus wouldnt happen. Zeus is - according to greek mythology - the fairest of the kings. I dont care if you don't like Zeus because for your modernized view on ancient tales "he is evil". He is a good king and that is a fact in Greek Mythology. You like it or not. He is not a tyrant. And he is not considered a Tyrant in mythology either. Another reason for one of his wives be Themis - Justice.
By the end of the day, getting out of Myth and going into their philosophy and theology.
The Gods are literally a representantion of the Cosmos and natural law. They are not "beings with too much power". Hades is the underworld. Poseidon is the nature. Zeus is the heavens. More than that, Zeus is the one who brought harmony to the universe - the oikos. Without him, everything we know about crumbles.
And Zeus children are the parts of human society. The pillars of "civilization". Apollo is art and healing. Hermes is communications and commerce. Athena is strategy and warfare. Hephaestus is technology. Ares is conflict/war and bloodthirsty. And there you go.
All the Gods represent the "good" and "bad" aspects of their domains. + They also reflect the human nature. That is why they are "flawed". That is why they are way more complex in the myths. Why they make good and bad decisions. Why they sometimes are kinder, why sometimes they are crueler.
Overthrow the Olympians mythwise? Would be the end of the life as we know of. The end of civilization. If there would be human life by the end of it.
Stop saying shit u don't know about only to support your takes on a greek-american fanfiction written by an American man.
#pjo#greek mythology#im honestly so tired of seeing thess kind of comments#“meh it happens in greeks Mythology” that is a fucking lie dude#idc if you hate pjo gods#i get it#but dont come with takes about greek mythology if you have never opened a book about it and studied the subject you are talking about#i usually see it a lot - on tik tok and on tumblr#but the last straw was reading a fanfic in which the author tries to portrate them more accurate to the myths#and there were people hating on the comments? saying “actually the gods can be easily overthrown in greek mythology” 🤓#no they cant and you are being so lound and so wrong hating on someone on fucking ao3#about something u clearly dont know about#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson#pjo gods#pjo gods ≠ real greek mythology
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..
#sculpture#fantasy art#fantasy creature#art#elf#lol what are the tags I should use... I still never know.. EVIL social media.. hate the idea of tagging anything ever anyway. but alas..#I also would ideally like to start selling them again and open up custom commmissions and stuff again once I can hopefully get paypal#stuff sorted out. and find like.. a good way to do things.. etc.. I did still want to sell them through auction instead of agonizing#over setting prices being afraid they're either too high or too low. So being able to just be like. Here. this is $50. or more. or less.#negotiate. the worth is whatever you feel like it is so i personally dont have to make that decision. etc. lol... But etsy doesn't let you#do auctions or like pay what you want type stuff so.. then I was thinking ebay? but idk.. ANYWAY.. I want to set things#up so I can sell stuff again hopefully. I still haven't fully recovered from the costs of when I had to take my cat to the vet and put#them down last year and etc. So it'd be good to sell a few things. perhaps.. maychance... perhamble... so on and so forthe... ANYWAY#I was going for whiter more milky sort of hair that blends in closely with the skintone but after the paint dried it seems more yellowy kin#of. which is fine. But just not exacltly like my mind vision lol..#Also it's like... wow... someone with face spots and elf ears and a half open mouth with a gap tooth and wavy hair and kind of downturned#eyes... revolutionary... never been seen before... every sculpture I have ever made surely doesnt look licherally exactly like this... LOL#but maybe it's just a style. so what. People have their motifs lol.. Im just getting back into sculpting. I shall sameface in peace. huzzah#Just like the only thing I ever carve out of avocado pits anymore is eyes. Because that's just whats fun to do. I'm going to accumulate lik#25 similar avocado eyes and have nothing to do with them. I was thinking of stringing some together into a necklace of eyes or something li#like that but.. hrmm... ANYWAY.. Love to do the same things repetitively. :3c
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this is the video of Swen saying no bg4 btw! I haven't seen anyone post his actual words.
#people in the comments were acting like he announced he's going to personally kill their moms lmao#like yeah it's wotc's ip larian can't just decide to make more#also all he said was they were passing the torch and moving away from dnd in the context of continuing the bg franchise as a next step#what he didn't say is Larian will never ever do another dnd title#and even if he did who cares tbh i think another game with this cast of characters would not go over well in practice#i think leaving baldurs gate a trilogy is for the best and this decision is in the best interest of fans and the studio#not to mention there was obviously behind the scenes issues with how wotc treated people#i wouldn't be jumping to work with them either#ALSO if they can write characters like the wormskulls i dont really give a fuck if they're in faerun or some larian-invented fantasy world#larian#bg4
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i dont really understand why people are so scandalized by animal euthanasia. i mean i have a lot of thoughts about it but it can basically be summed up as sometimes death is necessary
#people who freak out at shelters for doing euth piss me off...if you want that dangerous dog to live then YOU try taking care of them#ultimately i'd rather have an animal live than die but we just dont have infinite resources for every single animal#its not like the decision is easy either. i sympathize with my coworkers who have to help make the decision for animals they care about#theres been some dogs im not happy to see go#but in the end its an extremely neutral act to me#i'd rather see a dangerous dog euth'd than a person injured
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Me, while manically cleaning my room at 3:27am: I should make several large, life-changing, irreversible decisions.
#so ive been in a bad mental state lately#because of many things. but the biggest being (yes i know ive complained about this in multiple other posts)#that my best friend and my ex gf were fucking. without even asking or telling me. i got no heads up. just figured it out on my own#which sucked and now im not speaking to either of them#and when i first found out i was in a bad place physically too#i had a terrible ear infection that was so fucking painful#and i realized i could concentrate on both things. so i focused on healing#and then i remembered ny family is coming to visit for Christmas#and thats a lot to deal with. so now im focusing on cleaning the apartment. specifically my bedroom#so im manically cleaning at 3:30am while angry and stressed and trying not to focus on this thing that makes me really upset#and in the middle of cleaning ill suddenly think 'should i quit my summer camp job?' or 'should i move states again?'#its not good. but i havent acted on anything#AND in the middle of cleaning i found all of my meds#i havent been taking them for months. but i decided im gonna start taking them again#i have a few refills left but then ill have to find a psychiatrist. i dont want to. but its definitely for the best#im trying to get my life back on track and build and better it#but then something hits me and completely derails everything and makes everything so hard#so anyway im gonna go do some more cleaning and try not to make life-altering decisions. and maybe build a desk#btw i have to get up at 9am to take out my puppy. and at 11:35 i have to get ready for work. again its 3:30am#and im full of manic energy#tomorrow is going to be very bad but at least I'll have a semi-clean room
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idk how people arent pissed that all their DAI decisions meant nothing and things like the Well of Sorrows are just decided for you. the gravity of everything you did in DAI is completely meaningless because none of it is even acknowledged
I really feel like people have got dumber or are just so terminally online they refuse to admit the game is bad because then the annoying anti-woke grifters "would be right". even tho the reason they're complaining about the game is way different from the actual problems the game has through the perspective of an old fan
it pretty much cemented for me never to buy another EA/bioware game. completely soulless company and I hope bioware shuts down. EA has successfully drained the life from it. there's nothing left
#esp after hyping the game for years#and then the only decisions that matter are your final convo with solas and who you romanced#and you have to manually tell the game these things#it's pathetically bad#genuinely using my old dragon age books as toilet paper btw#ea/bioware dont give a shit about them anymore so neither do I#also the game ends in basically a thanos snap#so none of your decisions in THIS game matter either#like not even slightly lol#so creatively bankrupt and cheap#awful send off for a like 20 yr franchise that started off so strongly#literally none of it matters at all#dragon age is an rpg that maligns the audience for wanting it to be an rpg#if they continue making them I bet they'll just be straight up linear action games
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So like, wanted to make a lil post about my general orientation cause I’ve been thinking about it for a bit, cause like, okay, so I use the labels “queer” because other labels like asexual and demisexual sort of feel right in the way that yeah a worn left shoe still fits on your right foot and you can walk on it, but its not entirely a perfect fit.
So like, i have sexual urges and some sexual attraction to fictional cjaracters, but I have MORE of a sexual attraction to individual kinks and fetishes and the one that gets me goin the BEST is entirely physically impossible. Out of both of my partners I dont think I could ever visualize having sex with either of them, no matter how close our romantic bond is. Its just not something I think i’d be interested in, but also sometimes I wish I did have someone I was interested in like that, but I’m pretty sure i’d never find them. I dont really find human faces attractive??? If that makes sense?? I mean sometimes I definitely get gender envy from faces, but like, when it comes to sex i only sometimes find genitals themselves sexy, but im not really sexually attracted to the rest of the body unless it’s fictional (often times 2D). I find myself most sexually attracted to the idea of *sensations* like the *feeling* of being pinned down or being constricted rather than the actual physical body? If that makes any amount of sense, so I dont think i’d ever find another real human being sexually attractive.
Now, as for romantic orientation, i’ve settled on demiromantic for now cause i dont feel comfortable dating someone if I havent known them for at least a *little bit* first, so like- awkward first dates with someone you met online just are NOT it for me. I cannot imagine gettting into a relationship with someone I barely know. Now of course i am in a poly relationship with 2 lovely partners, and my feelings towards that are admittedly complicated. Thats not to say i dont LOVE them, I do! Its just that as I see how the world around me feels and describes “Love”, I realize I dont feel it the same.
For me, Love is a choice. I chose to love my partners. They are lovely people who make me laugh and smile and feel like a warm summer’s day, but i chose to fall in love with them. It wasnt some “oh i simply cant control my love I must be together with you!” It was a very firm, I care for this person more than i care for my family, I love them and they almsot are family to me. I chose to love them. I choose to be in a relationship with them, and they love me back. And admittedly, I feel guilty because I’m worried my type of love may not sound like real or genuine Love, when to me, it is!
Its the kind of love thats almost platonic, but I chose to say it is romantic, because I want to do inherently societally romantic things with them! So, i love them romantically!
But lets say if either wanted to break up with me for whatever reason, sure, I’d maybe be a little sad, but i dont know if i’d be truly devastated? Like, if they decide not to label our relationship as romantic and wish to become platonic, i think that’d be okay. They’re still in my life, and i still care about them the same amount! I dont think it would change anything if we continued to be friends! We just wouldnt do as romantic things, but I dont feel the dynamic would change much at all except that our “dates” would become playonic and we probably wouldnt kiss (not that i kiss much to begin with cause of *trauma*)
But if they wanted to end the friendship *entirely*???? Then i’d be upset for WEEKS. MONTHS maybe even! *years* knowing my track record. If they never wanted to talk to me again i think I might explode. Honestly i’m more worried about THAT happening than a breakup.
Its a messy, complicated thing, and honestly it may lean more toward aro than demi, but yeah. Thats my feelings!!! They’re… weird.
#aromantic#demiromantic#asexual#pride#queer#mild nsft discussions#i also have a hard time understanding or articulating deeper emotions like attraction#but i wouldnt say imm attracted to either of my partners romantically or sexually#i mean sure they’re cute and pretty and i tell them as such#but their appearance was never a factor in me deciding to love them#and its not that im ‘convincing’ myself that i love them#i do! its just a different kind of love#its decisive love i guess#and i suppose thats why i wouldnt say i ‘love’ my girlfriend’s partner#i mean i do care about her absolutely!#but i dont know her as well yet so i dont have the emotions needed to decide that im ‘in love’#okay like- love to me is like having a favorite character#sort of#if that makes sense?#its like ‘yeah oh my god i love you!!!!’#and thinking that yeah. i’d live my lufe with you and be happy with that#but not in an ‘im settling’ kind of way#idk its a MESS and im still learning and meditating about myself and how i feel about everything#sexuality discussion#orientation discussion#if anyone has their own experiences that are similar i’d love to hear maybe!#cause i feel very alone in these feelings sometimes
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#so tired of my friend's bum ass partner getting in the way of things#dude is hella controlling and makes every room so awkward i cant stand it and acts like their grown ass needs my friend to do anything#we'll be hanging out at his place and hell be like#gotta go my partner wants to go to sleep and he needs me to do it#apparently#he never wants to end the hangout either it's always this person's decision#partner is lame as fuck too i seriously cant fathom what he sees in them#and every time we're chilling you better believe snapchat is open and they're talking#like BROOO LET ME HANG OUT WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD#IM MARRIED AND UR ACTINGLIKE THIS!!! LET THE BOY HAVE FUN OUTSIDE OF YOUR PRESENCE#like you LIVE togther you do not have to be attached at the messaging app like this#and rescheduling to do chores together is wild#it would be cute if this didn't happen every single time#and it's not cute because the partner is still controlling every second of his time#HERES THE THING HES WANTED A PROPOSAL#BUT THIS FUCK WONT PROPOSE#AND DOESNT WANT KIDS#BUT WONT BREAK UP WITH MY FRIEND WHO WANTS CHILDREN AND AND PROPOSAL#LIKE FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFFFFF#and they're open and every time another person joins he's talkig to me about how the partner pays wayyy more attention to the other one#AHHHHHHHHHHHH#BREAK UP#THEY DONT CARE ABOUT YOU#oh my god#hes coming over without partner and staying the night so we can talk without this bum over his shoulder#they're a cheater too#but it was onlyfans so it “isnt as bad”#the onlyfans of someone they both. know.#im pissed bruh#they just renewed their lease together too
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on one hand I wanna write my fic ideas wherein my marvel oc gets sent to the alternate universe of Gotham and hijinks ensue whilst she tries to survive and get back and the batfam and such slowly learn more info abt her world and how it's being threatened atm and she needs to go back and help and whatnot.
But on the other hand, the readers wouldn't know the marvel related backstory of this OC and would have. No context for her going in
But ALSO then the readers would know abt as much abt this mysterious figure as the batcrew do, and get to learn via flash backs and her slowly revealing info to them as safety allows
Then there's also just a general. Idk if there's any sort of oc etiquette when it comes to writing oc centered fics? My brain goes so hogwild when I read anything that I usually avoid oc fics other people write just bc I usually read and enjoy fics at face value but I also go "now what would happen if this OC was here?" And that gets real complicated when other people's ocs are involved
#jasper rambles#this is a rambly one yall#fanfic discussion#fanfic etiquette?#i just. listen. i made a vampire oc for captain america specifically of the mcu.. and i was thinking and like. gotham is the Perfect City fo#r a vampire to live right. so like. then i was like what would she do if she ended up in gotham. how would that go. and then i could reveal#her marvel backstory thru tidbits she drops and flashbacks. bc i have her mcu timeline pretty well planned out#tho also her existence (along w a few pther ocs) drastically changes the course of the mcu so some things hapen VERY differently (mainly civ#il war and then the start of the following arcs) so like id aalso have to reveal where the canon divergence from the mcu is during the flash#backs. and then ALSO i have a p decent grasp of the batfam and whatnot but i havent had the oppurtunity to read many comics so i dont even.#what if i just FAIL at their characterization and im actually wronf magically#and then ALSO comes the question of should i include my batman dc oc? bc SHES a whole. package. theres a LOT to unpack w her. tho for this s#pecific fic idea i think itd be fun to just. have her be Another Batfam Member. like yeah shes got her own stuff going on. but this fic woul#dnt dive into it anymore than it dives into the other batfam members#the other issue is deciding where in the mcu timeline this oc gets thrown into an au and why and how or if that affects the mcu timeline fro#m there. cuz thatd need to be decided for the sake of flashbacks. and if im gonna ise flashbacks id love to try and plan it out so it aligns#with the plot happening in gotham. i dont necessarily want like. a running Plot in the flashbacks. but id want them to be scenes from her li#fe in mcu that reveaal stuff that helps understand the decisions she makes in the gotham plot#but ALSO in the gotham plot. id wanna have it either be that her presence has caused some sort of ripple that the gotham baddies are using t#o hirt people or else some other unrelated gotham baddies plot is happening and this oc being herself sees trouble and runs towards it to tr#y and help people. even tho she has her own stuff to deal w. and then makes herself a target of the gangs and also potentially screws someth#ings up bc she doesnt have as intimate of knowledge abt the baddies and gangs as the batfam do since most of em grew up in the streets of g#otham one way or another#so like. and like she can hold her own. she was a young woman in brooklyn in the 30/40s. but its still a different environment in gotham rat#her than in brooklyn new york. so itd be. yeah. tbh i feel like the fact that im putting this much thought into it means i will probably try#to write and post it on ao3. idk when tho. im trying not to post more fics on ao3 so i can focus on my xmen fic#sso. anyway if you read all this feel free to share your thoughts and or like. sorry not sorry for the rambly essay of tags <3#i told you jasper rambles
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Man I get wanting ownership of your content and separation from the trash fire that is YouTube and needing a way to fund that but personally I feel like marketing yourself as a streaming service and hiding everything behind a paywall when everything else is increasingly becoming a monthly payment of 5.99 is maybe like... Not good
#like theres better ways to do that which will ultimately honour your audience much more#and actually everything doesnt need to be a celebration sometimes you can go yeah sorry we have to have more funding theres no other way#heres ways you can help us out#or even making it so that the main series are free with ad revenue and you can individually purchase the rest of the content#as series#that would work! and be more affordable!#i just fucking hate streaming services#and like be serious guys if people are having to prioritise between something like netflix hulu and watcher#do you seriously think they'll choose the one with the least amount of variety for their money#like personally i dont pay for any i priate that shit but i dont actually want to do that to them#because theyre not a random faceless company#but i dont watch their stuff enough to pay for it and i know a lot of other people dont either#boo bad decision#good initial idea i understand that i understand wanting to be free of the evil that is youtube#but fucking boo#al is talking
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her: they're probably thinking abt other women
me: at the end of episode 52 of nv when everyone's saying goodbye, helios and drago talk abt hopefully the next time they meet they'll still be friends and be on the same side. when spectra shows up again in ms he tells them that yes they're still friends and on the same side, however when he comes back the brawlers are falling apart and dan has a link to magmel and is also generally being a Huge Jerk™, which might be an understatement. bringing back spectra during this arc was a brilliant idea bc other than being the writers' clear favourite, nv already set up parallels between dan and spectra and the contrast between how dan's acting and how even spectra of all people is actually disturbed and concerned by it shows how bad the situation has actually gotten.
#sometimes bakugan makes interesting writing decisions but bringing spectra back during ms? absolutely brilliant#like fanservice and obviously being the writers' favourite def played a part dont get me wrong#but its just so good it makes me feral#i decided itd be fun to watch the last few episodes of new vestroia and then move onto spectra's episodes in ms#and boy it was such a good fucking idea#i do find it funny how spectra keeps coming and going though like#the writers made him too op so he cant show up every episode lest the season end like 4 episodes after hes brought back#i genuinely dont think bringing back any other characters would have made as much of an impact#i love alice and ace but bringing back either of them as the darkus brawler wouldn't work as well#bc shun and marucho fill the roles that they would fill#ren maybe but like. he has far more to do with marucho compared to dan#spectra however is a former villain who did a lot of fucked up things and one of dan's strongest rivals#OH ID ALSO LIKE TO MENTION that after the brawl were spectra shows up. spectra immediately asks if dan is okay after that whole thing#it was only after dan plays it off and pretends its fine does he seem actually disappointed and leaves#idk i thought that was interesting#god bless when i get started i am incapable of shutting up i am. SO sorry#im just insane and having an autism moment dont mind me
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me at 15: I think I have ADHD and autism and ocd and bpd and and and
me at 17: nah I was being silly I don't really have most of those things. maybe ADHD.
me now at 22: yeah no I have ADHD and autism and ocd and bpd and
#like genuinely the only explanation for my behavior the last week or so is BPD#i flipped out and pushed my bf away emotionally cause i assumed he would wanna break up with me#i have rapid weird mood swings#i spent so many days in a row wanting to punish myself by doing reckless shit like drinking heavily or dojng drugs i dont even do#my usual one is overworking myself at work which ismt good either#the ocd i know i have now cause its just reassurance type ocd which explains so much#the more i talk to my bf who is also most likely autistic the more i realize i am definitely autistic#which is funny when i remember when i was a kid and learned about autism and was like 'omg itd be so scary if i had that and didnt know'#i definitely have always had depression and anxiety#only just now realizing my depression is so bad i really do need anti depressants#cause i cant make any decisions or do anything without thinking im a terrible person and wanting to punish myself somehow#which is just. fucked#i cant make a mistake without thinking im worthless#and pushing everyone out of my life so they dont have to deal with me but then being miserable that i pushed them away#and then spiralling from there
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going through it.
#i literally thought to myself i need to be 6 again which is how you know things are Not Good!!!!!!!!!!#i don’t know what i Want and it’s driving me CRAZY and every option feels so scary but i don’t think in actuality it is#i’m so fucking tired but i can’t sleep bc i was stupid and slept at 6pm and fucked it up#i have two classes tomorrow and i havent done the work for either of fjem#* them which is embarrassing and i need to make a decision that is quite significant and i thought i knew what i was going to do about it#but now i’m not sure and every minute is getting closer to when i do have to decide#and i’ve got a roommate again so i cant even just. like. idk.#and physically i feel like shit and i have to see my dad tomorrow night and i just wish i wasnt attached to anyone ever#but clearly i dont bc i keep doing things that make me attached to things/people so i need to get over myself#and i’m really worried abt something happening at home like idk it’s set off alarm bells in my head#all of this will be absolutely fine i just wish there wasnt an all of this in the first place#and i wish i could fault something other than my bad decisions but at the end of the day these are consequences of my actions so like.#that’s that and now i have to deal with it
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stressed
#the london weekend has me pulling my hair out a little tbh#so revpro announced the meet and greets like two days ago. and the times horribly overlap with the all in fan event#which means i gotta miss one of them. and it sucks cause i need to know asap if im ditching half of the fan event to go meet ppl#an hour away from wembley and who knows how long tickets will be available for that with whos annouced to be there#but also idk whos at doing meet and greets at the fan event. cause im obviously prioritizing kip and penny if they show up so like#but we dont know until maybe next week. who knows cause aew is so bad at announcing these things ahead of time#i just have to make decisions and its infuriating#i might be able to do both if aew meet and greets are early enough and its not that many people#but again copper box is an hour away. and the meet and greets end at 2.30 so :)#its fucked up. i hate it#anyways. we'll see i guess. sorry just had to get this out its so frustrating#the worst aew could do is not put kip and penny on this event either tho so like 🤷♀️#but again i wont know until much later. and then its ticket roulette with revpro potentially. who knows#its just irritating how these things are organized ugh#at least im still seeing both shows on good seats but. yeah#ANNOYING#night is an absolute mess on main
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