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starry-bi-sky · 3 months ago

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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

#mxtx svsss #svsss au #scum villian self saving system #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #luo binghe #disciple shen yuan #scum villain #svsss #*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival #and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst #he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna #see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i #*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM #i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways #so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt #revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about #demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he #couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss #this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on #his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]

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gikairan · 6 days ago

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More than ever, i feel like executives should be the first people in a corporate structure to see a pay cut before any employee is laid off

THAT is where the wasteful spend is. In CEO and other executive suite salaries. The actual people making the product being sold arent the waste

#like what do you contribute to the project huh?#and yet your salary is absurd #you could easily cut your salaries to keep staff on but you dont #also specifically with EA like.... YOU made a lot of the bad decisions?#the decade long development due to trying to force the project into something the dev team isnt known for #and shelving it to work on a different project... that is something the dev team isnt known for #and i gotta be honest i do think the top level of bioware has probably not been the most... on top of things?#but i think EA has as much a part to blame with their meddling #i would say if you arent willing to fund the kind of games the team makes sell them but.....#either they would have gone to Embracer who overspent and still hasnt produced a single worthwhile game out of it #or they would have just gone under anyway #but like... its clear EA has had it out for Bioware for years #you know what OTHER game underperformed? .... FC 25 (:#but you arent hearing about layoffs in EA sports!!! (:

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lucalicatteart · 1 year ago

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A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..

#sculpture #fantasy art #fantasy creature #art #elf #lol what are the tags I should use... I still never know.. EVIL social media.. hate the idea of tagging anything ever anyway. but alas..#I also would ideally like to start selling them again and open up custom commmissions and stuff again once I can hopefully get paypal #stuff sorted out. and find like.. a good way to do things.. etc.. I did still want to sell them through auction instead of agonizing #over setting prices being afraid they're either too high or too low. So being able to just be like. Here. this is $50. or more. or less.#negotiate. the worth is whatever you feel like it is so i personally dont have to make that decision. etc. lol... But etsy doesn't let you #do auctions or like pay what you want type stuff so.. then I was thinking ebay? but idk.. ANYWAY.. I want to set things #up so I can sell stuff again hopefully. I still haven't fully recovered from the costs of when I had to take my cat to the vet and put #them down last year and etc. So it'd be good to sell a few things. perhaps.. maychance... perhamble... so on and so forthe... ANYWAY #I was going for whiter more milky sort of hair that blends in closely with the skintone but after the paint dried it seems more yellowy kin #of. which is fine. But just not exacltly like my mind vision lol..#Also it's like... wow... someone with face spots and elf ears and a half open mouth with a gap tooth and wavy hair and kind of downturned #eyes... revolutionary... never been seen before... every sculpture I have ever made surely doesnt look licherally exactly like this... LOL #but maybe it's just a style. so what. People have their motifs lol.. Im just getting back into sculpting. I shall sameface in peace. huzzah #Just like the only thing I ever carve out of avocado pits anymore is eyes. Because that's just whats fun to do. I'm going to accumulate lik #25 similar avocado eyes and have nothing to do with them. I was thinking of stringing some together into a necklace of eyes or something li #like that but.. hrmm... ANYWAY.. Love to do the same things repetitively. :3c

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taamlok · 11 months ago

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this is the video of Swen saying no bg4 btw! I haven't seen anyone post his actual words.

#people in the comments were acting like he announced he's going to personally kill their moms lmao #like yeah it's wotc's ip larian can't just decide to make more #also all he said was they were passing the torch and moving away from dnd in the context of continuing the bg franchise as a next step #what he didn't say is Larian will never ever do another dnd title #and even if he did who cares tbh i think another game with this cast of characters would not go over well in practice #i think leaving baldurs gate a trilogy is for the best and this decision is in the best interest of fans and the studio #not to mention there was obviously behind the scenes issues with how wotc treated people #i wouldn't be jumping to work with them either #ALSO if they can write characters like the wormskulls i dont really give a fuck if they're in faerun or some larian-invented fantasy world #larian #bg4

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ratsonas · 5 months ago

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i dont really understand why people are so scandalized by animal euthanasia. i mean i have a lot of thoughts about it but it can basically be summed up as sometimes death is necessary

#people who freak out at shelters for doing euth piss me off...if you want that dangerous dog to live then YOU try taking care of them #ultimately i'd rather have an animal live than die but we just dont have infinite resources for every single animal #its not like the decision is easy either. i sympathize with my coworkers who have to help make the decision for animals they care about #theres been some dogs im not happy to see go #but in the end its an extremely neutral act to me #i'd rather see a dangerous dog euth'd than a person injured

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 1 year ago

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Me, while manically cleaning my room at 3:27am: I should make several large, life-changing, irreversible decisions.

#so ive been in a bad mental state lately #because of many things. but the biggest being (yes i know ive complained about this in multiple other posts)#that my best friend and my ex gf were fucking. without even asking or telling me. i got no heads up. just figured it out on my own #which sucked and now im not speaking to either of them #and when i first found out i was in a bad place physically too #i had a terrible ear infection that was so fucking painful #and i realized i could concentrate on both things. so i focused on healing #and then i remembered ny family is coming to visit for Christmas #and thats a lot to deal with. so now im focusing on cleaning the apartment. specifically my bedroom #so im manically cleaning at 3:30am while angry and stressed and trying not to focus on this thing that makes me really upset #and in the middle of cleaning ill suddenly think 'should i quit my summer camp job?' or 'should i move states again?'#its not good. but i havent acted on anything #AND in the middle of cleaning i found all of my meds #i havent been taking them for months. but i decided im gonna start taking them again #i have a few refills left but then ill have to find a psychiatrist. i dont want to. but its definitely for the best #im trying to get my life back on track and build and better it #but then something hits me and completely derails everything and makes everything so hard #so anyway im gonna go do some more cleaning and try not to make life-altering decisions. and maybe build a desk #btw i have to get up at 9am to take out my puppy. and at 11:35 i have to get ready for work. again its 3:30am #and im full of manic energy #tomorrow is going to be very bad but at least I'll have a semi-clean room

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biohazard-inevitable · 4 months ago

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So like, wanted to make a lil post about my general orientation cause I’ve been thinking about it for a bit, cause like, okay, so I use the labels “queer” because other labels like asexual and demisexual sort of feel right in the way that yeah a worn left shoe still fits on your right foot and you can walk on it, but its not entirely a perfect fit.

So like, i have sexual urges and some sexual attraction to fictional cjaracters, but I have MORE of a sexual attraction to individual kinks and fetishes and the one that gets me goin the BEST is entirely physically impossible. Out of both of my partners I dont think I could ever visualize having sex with either of them, no matter how close our romantic bond is. Its just not something I think i’d be interested in, but also sometimes I wish I did have someone I was interested in like that, but I’m pretty sure i’d never find them. I dont really find human faces attractive??? If that makes sense?? I mean sometimes I definitely get gender envy from faces, but like, when it comes to sex i only sometimes find genitals themselves sexy, but im not really sexually attracted to the rest of the body unless it’s fictional (often times 2D). I find myself most sexually attracted to the idea of *sensations* like the *feeling* of being pinned down or being constricted rather than the actual physical body? If that makes any amount of sense, so I dont think i’d ever find another real human being sexually attractive.

Now, as for romantic orientation, i’ve settled on demiromantic for now cause i dont feel comfortable dating someone if I havent known them for at least a *little bit* first, so like- awkward first dates with someone you met online just are NOT it for me. I cannot imagine gettting into a relationship with someone I barely know. Now of course i am in a poly relationship with 2 lovely partners, and my feelings towards that are admittedly complicated. Thats not to say i dont LOVE them, I do! Its just that as I see how the world around me feels and describes “Love”, I realize I dont feel it the same.

For me, Love is a choice. I chose to love my partners. They are lovely people who make me laugh and smile and feel like a warm summer’s day, but i chose to fall in love with them. It wasnt some “oh i simply cant control my love I must be together with you!” It was a very firm, I care for this person more than i care for my family, I love them and they almsot are family to me. I chose to love them. I choose to be in a relationship with them, and they love me back. And admittedly, I feel guilty because I’m worried my type of love may not sound like real or genuine Love, when to me, it is!

Its the kind of love thats almost platonic, but I chose to say it is romantic, because I want to do inherently societally romantic things with them! So, i love them romantically!

But lets say if either wanted to break up with me for whatever reason, sure, I’d maybe be a little sad, but i dont know if i’d be truly devastated? Like, if they decide not to label our relationship as romantic and wish to become platonic, i think that’d be okay. They’re still in my life, and i still care about them the same amount! I dont think it would change anything if we continued to be friends! We just wouldnt do as romantic things, but I dont feel the dynamic would change much at all except that our “dates” would become playonic and we probably wouldnt kiss (not that i kiss much to begin with cause of *trauma*)

But if they wanted to end the friendship *entirely*???? Then i’d be upset for WEEKS. MONTHS maybe even! *years* knowing my track record. If they never wanted to talk to me again i think I might explode. Honestly i’m more worried about THAT happening than a breakup.

Its a messy, complicated thing, and honestly it may lean more toward aro than demi, but yeah. Thats my feelings!!! They’re… weird.

#aromantic #demiromantic #asexual #pride #queer #mild nsft discussions #i also have a hard time understanding or articulating deeper emotions like attraction #but i wouldnt say imm attracted to either of my partners romantically or sexually #i mean sure they’re cute and pretty and i tell them as such #but their appearance was never a factor in me deciding to love them #and its not that im ‘convincing’ myself that i love them #i do! its just a different kind of love #its decisive love i guess #and i suppose thats why i wouldnt say i ‘love’ my girlfriend’s partner #i mean i do care about her absolutely!#but i dont know her as well yet so i dont have the emotions needed to decide that im ‘in love’#okay like- love to me is like having a favorite character #sort of #if that makes sense?#its like ‘yeah oh my god i love you!!!!’#and thinking that yeah. i’d live my lufe with you and be happy with that #but not in an ‘im settling’ kind of way #idk its a MESS and im still learning and meditating about myself and how i feel about everything #sexuality discussion #orientation discussion #if anyone has their own experiences that are similar i’d love to hear maybe!#cause i feel very alone in these feelings sometimes

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glassanimalcollective · 6 months ago

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#so tired of my friend's bum ass partner getting in the way of things #dude is hella controlling and makes every room so awkward i cant stand it and acts like their grown ass needs my friend to do anything #we'll be hanging out at his place and hell be like #gotta go my partner wants to go to sleep and he needs me to do it #apparently #he never wants to end the hangout either it's always this person's decision #partner is lame as fuck too i seriously cant fathom what he sees in them #and every time we're chilling you better believe snapchat is open and they're talking #like BROOO LET ME HANG OUT WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD #IM MARRIED AND UR ACTINGLIKE THIS!!! LET THE BOY HAVE FUN OUTSIDE OF YOUR PRESENCE #like you LIVE togther you do not have to be attached at the messaging app like this #and rescheduling to do chores together is wild #it would be cute if this didn't happen every single time #and it's not cute because the partner is still controlling every second of his time #HERES THE THING HES WANTED A PROPOSAL #BUT THIS FUCK WONT PROPOSE #AND DOESNT WANT KIDS #BUT WONT BREAK UP WITH MY FRIEND WHO WANTS CHILDREN AND AND PROPOSAL #LIKE FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFFFFF #and they're open and every time another person joins he's talkig to me about how the partner pays wayyy more attention to the other one #AHHHHHHHHHHHH #BREAK UP #THEY DONT CARE ABOUT YOU #oh my god #hes coming over without partner and staying the night so we can talk without this bum over his shoulder #they're a cheater too #but it was onlyfans so it “isnt as bad”#the onlyfans of someone they both. know.#im pissed bruh #they just renewed their lease together too

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adolins-heart · 1 year ago

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on one hand I wanna write my fic ideas wherein my marvel oc gets sent to the alternate universe of Gotham and hijinks ensue whilst she tries to survive and get back and the batfam and such slowly learn more info abt her world and how it's being threatened atm and she needs to go back and help and whatnot.

But on the other hand, the readers wouldn't know the marvel related backstory of this OC and would have. No context for her going in

But ALSO then the readers would know abt as much abt this mysterious figure as the batcrew do, and get to learn via flash backs and her slowly revealing info to them as safety allows

Then there's also just a general. Idk if there's any sort of oc etiquette when it comes to writing oc centered fics? My brain goes so hogwild when I read anything that I usually avoid oc fics other people write just bc I usually read and enjoy fics at face value but I also go "now what would happen if this OC was here?" And that gets real complicated when other people's ocs are involved

#jasper rambles #this is a rambly one yall #fanfic discussion #fanfic etiquette?#i just. listen. i made a vampire oc for captain america specifically of the mcu.. and i was thinking and like. gotham is the Perfect City fo #r a vampire to live right. so like. then i was like what would she do if she ended up in gotham. how would that go. and then i could reveal #her marvel backstory thru tidbits she drops and flashbacks. bc i have her mcu timeline pretty well planned out #tho also her existence (along w a few pther ocs) drastically changes the course of the mcu so some things hapen VERY differently (mainly civ #il war and then the start of the following arcs) so like id aalso have to reveal where the canon divergence from the mcu is during the flash #backs. and then ALSO i have a p decent grasp of the batfam and whatnot but i havent had the oppurtunity to read many comics so i dont even.#what if i just FAIL at their characterization and im actually wronf magically #and then ALSO comes the question of should i include my batman dc oc? bc SHES a whole. package. theres a LOT to unpack w her. tho for this s #pecific fic idea i think itd be fun to just. have her be Another Batfam Member. like yeah shes got her own stuff going on. but this fic woul #dnt dive into it anymore than it dives into the other batfam members #the other issue is deciding where in the mcu timeline this oc gets thrown into an au and why and how or if that affects the mcu timeline fro #m there. cuz thatd need to be decided for the sake of flashbacks. and if im gonna ise flashbacks id love to try and plan it out so it aligns #with the plot happening in gotham. i dont necessarily want like. a running Plot in the flashbacks. but id want them to be scenes from her li #fe in mcu that reveaal stuff that helps understand the decisions she makes in the gotham plot #but ALSO in the gotham plot. id wanna have it either be that her presence has caused some sort of ripple that the gotham baddies are using t #o hirt people or else some other unrelated gotham baddies plot is happening and this oc being herself sees trouble and runs towards it to tr #y and help people. even tho she has her own stuff to deal w. and then makes herself a target of the gangs and also potentially screws someth #ings up bc she doesnt have as intimate of knowledge abt the baddies and gangs as the batfam do since most of em grew up in the streets of g #otham one way or another #so like. and like she can hold her own. she was a young woman in brooklyn in the 30/40s. but its still a different environment in gotham rat #her than in brooklyn new york. so itd be. yeah. tbh i feel like the fact that im putting this much thought into it means i will probably try #to write and post it on ao3. idk when tho. im trying not to post more fics on ao3 so i can focus on my xmen fic #sso. anyway if you read all this feel free to share your thoughts and or like. sorry not sorry for the rambly essay of tags <3 #i told you jasper rambles

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pinkcadillaccas · 10 months ago

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Man I get wanting ownership of your content and separation from the trash fire that is YouTube and needing a way to fund that but personally I feel like marketing yourself as a streaming service and hiding everything behind a paywall when everything else is increasingly becoming a monthly payment of 5.99 is maybe like... Not good

#like theres better ways to do that which will ultimately honour your audience much more #and actually everything doesnt need to be a celebration sometimes you can go yeah sorry we have to have more funding theres no other way #heres ways you can help us out #or even making it so that the main series are free with ad revenue and you can individually purchase the rest of the content #as series #that would work! and be more affordable!#i just fucking hate streaming services #and like be serious guys if people are having to prioritise between something like netflix hulu and watcher #do you seriously think they'll choose the one with the least amount of variety for their money #like personally i dont pay for any i priate that shit but i dont actually want to do that to them #because theyre not a random faceless company #but i dont watch their stuff enough to pay for it and i know a lot of other people dont either #boo bad decision #good initial idea i understand that i understand wanting to be free of the evil that is youtube #but fucking boo #al is talking

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hexados-on-a-string · 1 year ago

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her: they're probably thinking abt other women

me: at the end of episode 52 of nv when everyone's saying goodbye, helios and drago talk abt hopefully the next time they meet they'll still be friends and be on the same side. when spectra shows up again in ms he tells them that yes they're still friends and on the same side, however when he comes back the brawlers are falling apart and dan has a link to magmel and is also generally being a Huge Jerk™, which might be an understatement. bringing back spectra during this arc was a brilliant idea bc other than being the writers' clear favourite, nv already set up parallels between dan and spectra and the contrast between how dan's acting and how even spectra of all people is actually disturbed and concerned by it shows how bad the situation has actually gotten.