#then again.. ig im just going through it

[cheemken]

are you doing ok?

Honestly?? I'm not even sure anymore

Cause like,, I always sleep around nine or ten y'know, I take pride in the fact that out of all my friends I still have a somewhat decent sleep schedule, but for the past few nights I just have a hard time sleeping. Even my friend said it was unusual of me to stay up late

And idk, idk what's even bugging me, there's legitimately nothing but I also think there is bc if not then why am I even staying up so late y'know. Idk if it's like,, a lil premonition kinda thing on my end that maybe smth will happen and my body's trying to get used to being tired again, but like,, idk my summer classes are abt to end, and altho our activities and projects are vibing it's somewhat okay since one's a group project and my group is actually decent, so y'know it's no problem

But like... Idk. I'm not sure what's happening w me, I keep thinking abt a lot of things, but it's not even the stressful things like classes or my future or anything, the things that usually keep you up at night, no I just think abt some concepts and such

It's weird for me ig, maybe it's just been a while since I stayed up late hahah

[rallazart]

Ah fine I'll post somethin. Experimenting with designs and shit is all I'm doin. Nothin new.

(Not posting the colored in versions yet. These are only concept sketches. Keep that in mind)...

The digital "version" of ^this^ is just some lazy color blocking I did. (Pay no mind to the weird light effects); But it does add a little clarity to the original sketch that might be helpful. Note: the values will change to some degree later.

Full body type idea ^here^. The tail is fan shaped from proper perspective.

The basic blocks of his design include an array of different animal features i.e. plucked feathers and skin, goat horns and eyes, coyote skull and body, and lizard scales. Idk if anyone was curious though;

if anyone asks for more detail in the design inspirations and lore I might share it. I just don't really feel the need to post every part of my process yk (especially if I'm not 100% happy with it)

[jils-things]

to love someone is to heal someone

[deus-and-the-machina]

ffxiv garlemald discourse is so funny because people will go "ugh people just cant stand it when things aren't black and white" and then you look at how the empire are portrayed in stormblood and shadowbringers and its like hm. that seems like a pretty intense and accurate display of violent imperialism to me! Wow I wonder why people in this day and age may find it hard to feel sympathy for them or even hate them on principal. god its such a mystery.

the games like 50/50 to me on how it tackles these themes because I actually like the garlemald arc in EW, I think it has a lot of horrific and powerful scenes depicting how self destructive fascist propaganda and beliefs are, but I also think it doesn't go far enough on some fronts. the garleans' xenophobia is most notably and obstacle to getting them to accept the contingent's help, which is what they're there to do,

but there's never an admission of harm from any garleans on the uuuuuuuuh massive amount of war crimes the nations around them are still suffering from they're just kind of like "we misjudged you...but you actually wanted to help us all along" like yeah thats great now can we get you all some deprogramming because you keep talking about returning to your prime and glory days and I think we need to unpack some stuff you really SHOULDNT return to. im not even really talking about EW proper but the patches where things are a bit more chilled out and people are recovering.

It feels like they wanted to have their critique of imperialism and also have things end with the beauty of human connection and reaching out and these things just don't mesh well because hey a lot of your modern day audience is not gonna like having to treat people yelling xenophobic things at the cast and your character with kid gloves after you showed them hours and hours of the awful things these people's beliefs have done. especially in the present day hoo boy.

[telesodalite]

I need to be weirder about the scavengers and cannibalism...

[itsalwaysdark]

i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms

[skrunksthatwunk]

household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight

[intertexts]

tonight is going to be so cool 👍

[cheemken]

Playing A Series of Dusks is all fun and games till you realize you can do a Windsong and Vila duo run on Difficulty 17 and still do insane numbers

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

finally getting my ass up to note down the last thirty episodes i basically binged without ever opening my notebook and wow mag181 really was a rest. for them. for me. for me now that, for one single episode, i can fall back into the shape of the first 160 episodes i noted down. like i've been doing this specific format for so long, even after 20 apocalypse statements that still felt wrong, a constant reminder of how horrid everything is. but not now. not for this episode. not for this one episode. surrounded by wrongness for a second i can pretend it's fine

[blue-sleeps-in]

man i really am conflict avoidant. i was in the car for about 2 minutes while stepdad was angrily trying to deal (through a video call) with the airport worker that wasnt letting my brother into the airport and i could barely handle it at all. i had to leave the car and stay at the other end of the parking lot while the shouting and stuff happened. he managed to do it in the end but god fuck i would not be able to at all. even in my little brother's position where he was holding the phone i don't think i would do that i would give up so quickly. i feel bad and im not even the one any of this was about at all

[captainimprobable]

broskis im gonna be honest with you, i do not see a point.

this is not a suicidal post, this is not a cry for help and i am not a danger to myself, and i am in communication with my therapist.

but like. i genuinely do not see a way out. i tried for months. my life was falling apart and i stayed positive! i didnt break down, i handled it, i survived it, i believed in a future that existed.

but its come to a point where i cant do that anymore. i cant pretend that theres hope for some sort of magic solution to come from heaven and fix everything. because i tried EVERYTHING. i worked SO HARD. and im still here. in the same place. im still sitting here with my life falling apart around me and i have tried every single thing i could possibly think of and there is nothing left to do.

the only things im really good at right now are sleeping and scrolling tbh. i am going to spend my entire life rotting in my childhood bedroom while everyone around me experiences all the things i've ever wanted but am apparently not allowed to have.

how am i expected to keep going if there's nowhere to go?

[alasy]

living in the same city as nina could actually cure me

[hellguarded-moved]

// anyway since my writing muse for ig remains ???? i'm closing his inbox until i manage to get it under control.

[chisungie]

.

[lateseptemberdawn]

It's so confusing even to me sometimes especially when it perhaps matters the most how I am an empath as in I will feel like crying while watching someone else cry out if their hearts and I could literally feel their pain but then I'm also so detached like so much so that if someone I know is going through something (as in trouble in paradise (yeah I'm eloquent)) and completely losing it over that person, not being able to function properly like not eating being sad feeling depressed -- it just makes no sense to me??? Like I can't even begin to try to comfort other than just pat pat like??? So you found out they don't care about you don't you just instantly lose all feelings as well? Don't you feel cheated and ridiculed?? Does that mean nothing to you, your self-respect?? And if it does all those things then why do you feel sad. What do you feel sad for. I would feel angry. So incredibly angry and I would simply think I was an idiot to not notice the signs or to stay for as long as I did and it would be like a switch just completely off. I don't think I could ever hold a human above myself. And this makes me wonder if I could ever love at all.