#i made this for me but hopefully someone else will like it
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seriously!! I had a teacher who argued that old ass men buying and marrying little girls was ok because it’s a different time back then and it was there culture so I can’t say anything against it because it would be disrespectful and like holy fuck? No? I tried to argue back and he said well we’re your proof how do you know and I’m like my guy I’m no goddamn historian but that’s just wrong like on a moral level there’s lots of things that are “normal” for our “culture” and their fucked up so the excuse it’s just culture is so shitty and he laughed and said I didn’t have a actual example of anyone not liking it and he was just playing devils advocate I fucking hate that teacher like a day later it hit me fucking PERSEPHONE i could’ve said Persephone‼️‼️‼️‼️ And I could’ve said clearly if an entire myth was made about mother mourning their daughters being taken and married off then it had to have happened alot!!! There must’ve been countless people like Demeter disturbed and terrifyed for their little daughters and countless Persephone’s who were taken and advantage of and stolen away
it always grossed me out how persephone’s kidnapping would be modernized and turned into a love story between her and hades and everyone acted all like “ohhh well Demeter is just some old hater lady who doesn’t like age gaps and persephone wants to escape with her lover and they live happily ever after” no what the fuck
if you want to tell that story there’s so many other gods and people to choose from to modernize!! There’s so many goddamn secret mortal lovers or whatever you could pick ANYONE ELSE leave the fucking rape victim and her mother alone let her at least be acknowledged in a myth I mean you really have to think about this can you imagine being a girl back then and hearing that myth and knowing at least somebody out there gets it and is worried about you and maybe others will hear it and know what really happened and how messed up it really was and how scared you are like that story had to mean so much to so many people back then let’s not be like fucking disrespectful ALSO that’s like still a religion There’s people who worship the Greek gods how do you think they feel having their gods misrepresented
anyway I’m no history professor or and I don’t study Greek mythology but that’s what I think
if Persephone and Demeter got to be upset and mourn this and all the women who dealt with all this garbage back then then you do to yknow I mean you could already but it’s gotta be nice seeing someone like yourself out there especially from the past and seeing them mourn what happened to them sort of feels like you can do the same thing and you feel less alone? Hopefully. people have always been going through shit and been ignored and talked down to over it so it’s ok to be upset and angry don’t let anyone convince you what you went through isn’t real or actually upsetting
#Seriously women need to be left the fuck alone Jesus cheist#My teacher actually sucks and this has been like bubbling under my skin for years#Bubbling? Simmering SIMMERING#Being taken advantage of by some old dude sounds fucking scary luckily I’m fucking lucky but if I wasn’t? Man:(#AND people just like accepted it as totoally normal fucking wild and they were girls so they were seen as property and sure women aren’t#Legally that anymore but you wouldn’t be able to fucking tell with the way they get treated sometimes#Be safe out there guys as safe as you can be good luck
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Hate your guts (pt 1)
~ this fic is my Christmas gift💙 i'm dividing this into two parts bcs tumblr is shit
pairing: rockstar!hyunjin x rockstar afab!reader
genre: enemies to lovers, fluff, smut
wc: 26.6k
synopsis: hwang hyunjin, your sworn enemy. the person who finds and pushes all your buttons, annoys you and makes you angry. the person you're trying to avoid so badly, only to end up practically sharing a bed with him on tour. let the fun begin!
warnings: lots of swearing, smoking and alcohol, mentions of blood and throwing up, mild violence, multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex, oral (f and m), fingering, handjob, semi-public sex, spanking, creampies, mix of degradation and praise
a/n: thank you @frehyun for helping me come up with a name for hyunjin's band💕 also a thank you to @jehhskz @moonchild9350 and @hyunebunx for giving me suggestions, listening to me yap and being supportive while i was writing this🥹🩷🩷🩷 title is inspired by inji, go listen to her music🫶🏻
a little ramble: feel free to skip this! but i just wanted to say that this was supposed to be done sooner cause i had other fics planned out to write but work got in the way. so i wrote this fic whenever and wherever i could; hiding in the bathroom at work, during my break, at the bus station, at 3am when i couldn't sleep etc... it's been a ride and i'm proud of how it turned out, hopefully y'all enjoy it too🥹🫶🏻
“...And do you look into the mirror to remind yourself you’re there? Or have somebody’s goodnight kisses got that covered? When I’m not being honest, I pretend that you were just some lover…”
It was a perfect but short moment.
The fresh breeze coming into the car where the window was opened just a little was enough to give you some air but still managed to hide most of your face from the outside world.
The music in your ears was loud, so loud that you were drowning in it, the warm and comforting voice, the melancholic guitar riff in the background, and the gentle sluggish drums putting it all together into a song that made your eyes water.
You tuned everything else out as this was the only moment of peace you were going to get today.
You needed every shred of sanity you could gather, and you were determined to hold onto it as much as you could.
Because today, you had an interview with him.
Hwang Hyunjin.
Oh, the name you know so well.
Even thinking about the way it sounds makes you feel angry.
It seemed as if his life mission was to find every single button of yours and push them repeatedly until you exploded like a ticking bomb.
Your mind wandered as you thought about him and how much his existence angered you, your stomach turning into knots.
Or maybe it was just pre-interview nerves.
No matter how many times you talked in front of the camera, it always made you feel anxious and jittery.
Being on stage was fun, there was no anxiety there as whenever you would step on it and see all the people cheering for you and singing along to the music you and your friends wrote, your heart felt full, your soul elated.
It was an exhilarating feeling you couldn’t even begin to explain to someone who’d never experienced it.
Every concern in your head, every ache in your soul, every tear behind your eyelids threatening to spill got erased when you gave yourself to the stage.
If you could, you would definitely try to avoid the interviews and just perform.
But your record company had other plans.
Being the only up and rising all girls rock band in the company meant that you needed promotion, and what better way to promote than to collab with the only boy rock band in the same company?
Hwang Hyunjin’s band.
Yes, you couldn’t wait for this day to be over.
“Y/n!” you were shaken out of your thoughts, as your manager pulled at your headphones.
“What?” you almost snapped at her, startled by her antics.
“You were staring off into space and muttering angrily about Hyunjin. Something like ‘poke his eyes out’ and ‘conceited dick’.” Ana giggled, covering her lips with her hand as you rolled your eyes, realizing that you’ve already arrived at the building for the interview.
“I’m sure you find all this amusing. But I am not amused at all. Last time I had an interview with that... bastard, everyone thought we were dating and started shipping us.” you recoil at the thought. “I would never date someone like him.”
“Oh y/n, lighten up! You know there will always be rumors of all kinds. The dating rumors are the least harmful ones, trust me. Just act like you’re besties with Hyunjin, for an hour tops.”
You take a deep breath in, then sigh.
“I am a professional. I will do this right.” you nod with a determined tone as Ana bumped her fist with yours.
“That’s the spirit!” your manager smacked your thigh happily as you yelped, making her laugh before she exited the car.
Since you were in the underground parking lot, there was no press around so you walked out of the car freely, going directly to the elevator that would take you to the reception.
Ana pressed the button when you walked in and just as the doors started closing, someone’s combat boot was pushed between the silver doors, stopping them and making them open again.
Your eyes traveled up from the boots, to the tight leather pants and the skimpy tank top revealing a tattoo sleeve, right to the face you hoped you won’t be seeing for at least another ten minutes.
Hyunjin had an obnoxious smirk dancing on his lips as he looked down at you, puffing his chest out like some peacock showing off his feathers and you already wanted to smack the shit out of him.
His manager, Anthony waved at the two of you, ushering him into the elevator.
“Good morning y/n, Ana.” Anthony greeted as Hyunjin kept smirking at you.
“It was good until now.” you crossed your arms over your chest.
Even the cologne Hyunjin was wearing made you want to puke your guts out so you stepped away from him.
A chuckle escaped his lips as he leaned on the wall casually, never taking his eyes off of you.
“Aw, you throwing a tantrum already baby?” he smirked at you and you started fuming.
Both of your managers rolled their eyes, Ana muttering ‘here we go again’ as she shook her head.
“I see you have a new piercing on your face. You needed another hole to let the air out of that empty head?” you said, trying to sound nonchalant and Hyunjin scoffed.
“I’m gonna ignore that comment and focus on the fact that you’re counting my piercings. Observing me, huh?” he looked at you smugly.
“Yeah, cause I have nothing better to do than-”
Ding!
“Alright, break it off kids, were here!” Anthony said, quickly pulling Hyunjin out of the elevator.
“See? I can’t stand him.” you groaned as Ana chuckled.
“You stood up to him pretty well.” Ana winked. “Let's go get some coffee, get you properly awake before the interview.” she gripped your shoulders, shaking you a little as you groaned in protest.
Thankfully, Hyunjin had disappeared somewhere and you were glad he wasn’t around to annoy you, as you made small talk with a few of the staff you knew there since you’ve already been interviewed for the same channel before.
“Ana, I’m gonna go get some air before we start.” you felt the nerves creeping up inside you.
“Okay, but you have to be back in five minutes.” she reminded you and you gave her a thumbs up, before practically sprinting down the hall to get to the little terrace hidden on the side.
Staff used it for smoke breaks, and you decided to use it to calm your anxiety down.
You flung the door open and stepped out onto the balcony, quickly taking a deep breath in while you looked down at the city before you.
“Needed to see me once more before the interview?” a voice rang out to the left of you.
Hyunjin’s voice.
Of course the bastard is here, you thought, your face becoming hot in annoyance.
“I had no idea you were here, asshole.” you turned to look at him.
He was leaning on the railing, flexing his muscles, a long vein protruding under the layer of the swirling colorful flowers inked into his skin, leading all the way to his long fingers with chipped nail polish and a cigarette pinched between his thumb and index finger.
He looked at you intently through his bangs that were haphazardly falling into his eyes, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip, before his tongue poked out to play with the piercing adorning it.
“I thought you had more originality when it comes to nicknames, darling.” he said mockingly before taking another drag from his cigarette.
“Don’t call me that.” you turned around to leave but Hyunjin’s long arm quickly blocked your way, his palm splayed on the wall.
You looked up at him and stepped back, just as he puffed the smoke out your way.
“You leaving?” he looked smug again, intrusive thoughts of pushing him off the balcony appeared in your mind.
“Yes, this space is too small and your cologne is nauseating.” your face scrunches up.
“Aw, I’ll make sure to find another one you’d like.” Hyunjin smirks.
“Don’t bother.” you ducked under his arm and opened the door, walking away as fast as you could.
At least he helped in a way, you weren’t anxious anymore, just annoyed and waiting for this day to be over.
“Where is Hyunjin, we’re starting in a minute.” Anthony’s brows furrowed while you were ushered towards the room.
“Last I saw him, he was smoking on the balcony.” you shrugged as they sat you down.
The chair where Hyunjin would be sitting was too close for comfort and you wanted so badly to push it away, but you figured it was there because of the camera frame.
“We’re on in 30 seconds!” one of the staff yelled and you rolled your eyes.
Of course he was late, the self-centered bastard. You were sure he was enjoying this, everyone waiting on his highness to arrive, everyone panicking around him as he wears that disgusting smug smirk on his face.
“In 10…9…” the staff started counting down just as the door swung open and a breathless Hyunjin ran into the room, almost tripping over your crossed legs before he sat down on the chair next to you.
After he ran in, one of the girls working there ran in too, quickly taking her place with rosy cheeks and her lipgloss smeared.
You rolled your eyes and looked at him, the glitter from the girl’s lipgloss was visibly shining on his lips and chin.
“You have a little something.” you said and he smirked, wiping his chin off before leaning towards you.
“My lips were dry.” he whispered with a wink.
You were more than ready to get this over with, seething with anger at his unprofessional behavior that you didn’t even notice the camera began rolling.
“... today’s special guests are y/n of Venus Flytrap and Hyunjin of Lycoris Radiata! I hope y’all are as excited as I am, since it’s been so long. Y/n, let’s start with you. You have a new album coming out soon, can we get a little sneak peek of that?” the interviewer, Sarah, asked as you adjusted on your chair.
“This is our third album now, and this time Steph and Janey participated in the writing more than before, so the songs are really personal to all three of us.”
“Are we finally gonna hear about their love story?” Sarah wiggled her eyebrows.
“We may.” you smirked at her, not wanting to reveal too much.
“How about yours?” she added on, in the corner of your eye you saw Hyunjin leaning towards you as he stared at you, manspreading like always, his knee knocking into yours.
“Huh?”
“Your love story. Is there a special guy or girl in your life?” the interviewer asked, making you feel annoyed instantly.
You hated being asked questions like that, sometimes it felt like the music you were writing didn’t even matter, all people wanted to know was who you’re fucking.
“Not at the moment, no.” you forced a smile so you don’t seem rude.
“I thought I was special.” Hyunjin chimed in next to you, bumping his shoulder against yours, that shit eating grin you hate spreading on his face.
Before you could answer, Sarah butted in.
“Oh, is there something happening between you that we should know about?”
You could just hear the excitement in her voice, the hunger for drama dripping from her lips.
“Nothing is happening, we just like to joke around like that.” you quickly answered, hoping to deflect her to another question, or that she’d finally talk to Hyunjin and ask him about his new song, so you could take a few moments to breathe.
“So, you two are close?”
Oh no.
Here it goes again.
Last time this happened, your name got dragged on every social media platform.
People who were shipping the two of you got on your nerves, but that wasn’t the biggest problem.
No, it was the people who had sent you hate and death threats, telling you if they saw you next to Hyunjin again you’d be dead.
It took a toll on your mental health and scared you since you know people can easily find an address or stalk you somewhere and you wanted to avoid any rumors that would endanger your well-being.
“We're just coworkers.” to your surprise Hyunjin answered nonchalantly, saying exactly what you wanted to say so people would leave you alone.
Why was there a weird feeling in your chest then?
“Well, sometimes there’s passion at the workplace.” Sarah wasn’t giving it up and you were close to losing your temper and telling her to shove it already, ask some less invasive questions.
“No passion here, our relationship is strictly professional.” you said, but your skin burned where Hyunjin’s thigh pressed against yours.
In your mind you were cursing both him and Sarah, and even your manager for bringing you here.
Thankfully, she left it at that, continuing with questions about your upcoming tour and Hyunjin’s new song.
As soon as the interview finished and you were done shaking hands, Ana came to you, her hand on your shoulder as she squeezed.
In the corner of your eye, you saw Hyunjin slip out of the room.
“Good job.” she smiled as Anthony joined the two of you.
“I hope you’re hungry, y/n. This time it’s my treat, and there’s this restaurant…”
You tuned Anthony out, completely forgetting that after an interview like this, the tradition is to have dinner with Hyunjin and his manager.
“Can we skip dinner this time? I just wanna go home and lay down.”
“Nonsense, I hear your stomach growling from here. Come on, it’s free food you can’t say no.” Anthony made a goofy face, hoping to win you over.
“Fine, you had me at free food.” you sighed as Ana nodded with a smile.
“Good! Now where is our other rockstar?” he quickly looked around. “I swear, sometimes I feel like I’m a babysitter, not a manager.”
“I’ll go find him.” you offered, wanting to leave the building as soon as possible.
“Sure.” Ana nodded and you made your way down the hall.
Your footsteps echoed in the empty space, until you came closer to a corner where the sounds of hushed voices and giggles filled up your ears and made you roll your eyes.
“You know I can’t give you my number, baby. But if there is an empty room around here somewhere…” Hyunjin was talking to the girl from earlier, leaning over her body as she stared up at him like he was a god, her back against the wall.
You cleared your throat, crossing your arms on your chest.
Both of them looked up at you, Hyunjin giving you a smirk as he straightened up and the girl glared at you but you didn’t give a shit.
“We need to leave right now. Our managers are waiting for us.” you said simply as the girl whined.
“Shh, maybe some other time.” he shushed her, leaning towards her and your stomach flipped in disgust.
He didn’t kiss her, just taunted her before he leaned back and made his way towards you.
“Cockblocker.” he stuck his tongue out, the piercing adorning it catching the light for a moment.
“Do you even know her name?” you asked, keeping a fast pace and a good distance away from him.
“No. Does it matter?” he shrugged, his long legs quickly catching up to you in big strides.
“You’re despicable.” your face scrunched up in disgust as you neared the elevator where your managers were waiting and chatting.
“Throwing some big words around. You sure you know the meaning?” he smirked.
“That’s it.” you said angrily.
“What? You just basically told me I deserve to be hated just cause I wanted to have some fun.”
You looked at him, full on ready to slap him across his face but Ana stepped between the two of you.
“Fighting again? Can the two of you behave for just one evening?” Anthony frowned with a sigh as he called the elevator.
“I can behave.” Hyunjin clicked his tongue cheekily before playing with his lip ring again.
“Y/n?” Ana looked at you.
“As long as he doesn’t talk to me, I’ll be fine.” you turned away from Hyunjin, stepping into the elevator.
This is going to be one awkward dinner.
-
Choosing to disconnect in the van you put your earphones in, ignoring Hyunjin’s presence right next to you.
It’s like your managers wanted to have you two as close as possible, like they thought it’d make you hate each other less but at this moment there was nothing more you wanted than to get away from him.
Or maybe your managers wanted to be closer to each other, you smirked to yourself as Ana twirled her hair around her finger, giggling at something Anthony said.
You leaned back as the music flooded your ears, your figure slightly turned towards the window as you watched the street lights pass you by, totally unaware of a pair of eyes that were glued to you.
Hyunjin observed you in detail, how shiny your hair was as it cascaded down your back and shoulders, how your brows were slightly creased and your lips pouty as you listened to your music, the steady rise and fall of your chest, the way your fingers played with the hem of your shirt as you pulled on it, how pretty the rings adorning your fingers were, how the necklace you always wore laid gently on your collarbone.
No little detail was skipped as he drinked it all in, thinking you wouldn’t notice.
But after some time as it got even darker outside, you caught Hyunjin’s reflection in the window as he stared at you with a look on his face that you’ve never seen before.
Your stomach suddenly swirled as the two of you made eye contact on the glass, Hyunjin’s plump lips falling open before he sat up and looked away, acting like nothing happened.
The rest of the ride was uneventful and you were tired of this day, having to look at Hyunjin was more exhausting to you than being on stage.
You couldn’t wait to get into your bed and disappear.
As you walked into the restaurant, you were led to a table and you could see a few people whispering and pointing at you but usually they didn’t bother you much.
However, this time was different.
As you scanned the menu, a girl timidly approached your table and you looked up at her as she stood next to Hyunjin.
“I’m - I’m sorry to bother you but I’m a really big fan and I was wondering if you’d take a picture with me?” she asked Hyunjin who immediately smirked at her.
“No pictures allowed. But you can get his signature.” Anthony chimed in.
“And who the fuck are you?” the girl changed her demeanor right away, making Hyunjin chuckle.
“Easy there, sweetheart, that’s my boss.” he wiggled his eyebrows at the girl. “Come on I’ll give you a sign and you can write me your number, maybe I’ll call you, hm?” Hyunjin winked at her and you just about lost your appetite completely.
“Oh, sure, I’d love that!” she let out a nasally laugh as he signed a napkin with a pen she somehow produced, giving it back to her as she leaned over to write her number down, making sure her tits were right in his face before she skipped back to her friends.
“Can there be at least one minute when you’re not trying to fuck something that walks?” you looked at him annoyingly and he laughed.
“Thought you weren’t talking to me.” he smirked.
“Ugh, you’re so annoying!” you were ready to smack him with the menu in your hand but Ana caught your wrist.
“I bet you love that about me.” he kept smirking.
“Love is nothing near what I feel about you.” you said, your teeth gritted.
“There’s a fine line between love and hate, you know.” Hyunjin smirked, leaning into your personal space.
“Anyways, guys. What are you ordering? Their steak is really good.” Anthony gave an awkward smile as he looked around the table.
“I want the tomato pasta.” Hyunjin leaned back, making you cackle.
“Isn’t that the kids menu? Makes sense for you somehow.”
“I’m saving room for dessert.” he winked at you, his tongue running over his lip tentatively, the piercing on it catching the light again.
“Ew.” you jolted in disgust as he laughed loudly, obviously finding enjoyment in ticking you off.
The dinner part of the outing was uneventful as everyone ate and made small talk but you didn’t miss how Hyunjin crumpled up the napkin with the fan’s number and threw it aside on the table, not caring about it.
What an asshole.
“Let’s make a little toast to this evening and the upcoming albums and tour.” Ana proposed as she lifted her glass up.
“To us.” Hyunjin smirked as he looked at you.
“To rock’n’roll!” you added as the four of you clinked your glasses together before taking a big swig of your drinks.
Hyunjin didn’t look at you on the drive home.
-
Rehearsal was supposed to start at 9am sharp, but you were there bright and early, tuning your guitar.
Being an early bird, you loved the few moments of peace you could have to yourself, just you and your music.
Your hand glided easily on the guitar’s neck, taking shapes familiar to your hands, it was muscle memory by now, your fingers picking on the strings and creating the melody you played countless times before.
You let your voice ring out in the space freely as you sang a song dear to your heart, one you wrote when you were younger.
You’d always start warming up by singing it to yourself, never having the need to actually put it out into the world.
You got into it, your eyes closed as you sang with a small smile on your face, the entire world around you disappearing shortly.
In the distance, you heard footsteps and voices belonging to your bandmates and just as you opened your eyes, you looked through the glass on the door, a shadow slithered across the wall outside, disappearing around the corner.
You squinted your eyes and stood up, putting your guitar aside and coming closer to the door.
Just as you were about to reach towards the doorknob, the voices got louder.
“Are we seriously doing this right now?” Janey asked, the tone of her voice angry.
“I’m telling you, it was nothing! I don’t know who she is and why she’s texting me!” Steph defended herself as Janey scoffed.
“I’m sick of your excuses. I’m gonna give you one last chance to make it up to me and be truthful, but after that I’m done.” you stepped back as Janey came into view, opening the door angrily.
“Oh, y/n.” she widened her eyes slightly. “Good morning.” she added, scurrying past you to take her place behind the drum kit.
Steph walked in with a scowl on her face, muttering a ‘morning’ before going straight to her bass guitar.
It wasn’t the first time they fought or even broke up.
There were many times you had to be the mediator between them, trying to get them to communicate and even though it was frustrating, you didn’t want them to give up on their relationship easily and you couldn’t really take sides since they were both your friends.
“Shall we?” you asked and they nodded.
It took some warming up as always but soon you got into the groove, rehearsing for a small performance that was happening tonight.
You were excited because during the performance you planned to reveal your new song and see how people like it in person.
The only thorn in your eye was the fact that Hyunjin’s band will be there too, performing right after yours.
You were dreading to see him again, since that interview last week you had managed to avoid him skilfully, but you couldn’t hide forever.
And even though your rehearsal went somewhat smoothly, there was tension in the air and you didn’t like that feeling.
It felt like a storm was coming and you weren’t sure if you’re ready to take it on.
-
Evening came around quickly, everyone was already gathered backstage and you were dressed and ready, having rehearsed once more on the stage, tuning your guitars and getting ready for the most fun part.
You peered from the back, seeing all the people gathering made your heart swell, a smile spreading on your face automatically.
“Quite a turn out, huh?”
Your eye literally twitched when you heard Hyunjin’s voice behind you, too close for comfort as his figure loomed over you and you felt the warmth of his body on your back.
You turned your head slightly as he peered down at you with that annoying smirk you absolutely hate.
“Of course.” you said, squeezing your body between him and the curtain, ignoring him calling after you as you walked away as fast as you could.
You’re not gonna let him ruin tonight for you.
It was time to go on stage anyways.
You and your girls did a little cheer as tradition before the performance, Ana coming up to hug you and wish you good luck.
“Break a leg.” Hyunjin appeared out of nowhere and you only rolled your eyes before whipping around and almost smacking him with your hair as you made your way towards the stage.
As soon as you walked out, loud screams filled up your ears and everything negative was forgotten and locked away in a drawer in the back of your mind.
“Are you ready to rock tonight?!” you screamed out into the mic as the three of you took your positions.
Hyunjin watched you from the side with an unreadable look on his face, but you weren’t even aware of it and you didn’t care.
All you cared about was this moment.
The moment where you get to share your love for music with thousands of people.
It was exhilarating, watching the mass of bodies sway like one, hearing all the people singing the lyrics you wrote in unison.
Nothing could compare to this and every time you stood under that light, you knew you were born for this.
Giddy from everything, you skipped backstage once you finished playing the last song; which happened to be the new one and people more than loved it judging by their excited screams.
“That was amazing!” Ana met you halfway, giving high fives to all three of you.
You were still trying to catch your breath as you giggled, when Hyunjin appeared next to you again.
“Aren’t you gonna wish me good luck?” he smirked at you, shamelessly giving you the elevator eyes.
“Good luck guys!” Janey yelled at all four members with a smile and a thumbs up but Hyunjin shook his head.
“I want her to say it or I’m not going out on stage.” he crossed his arms on his chest, pouting and tapping his foot like a child about to throw a tantrum.
“Come on, Hyun, we need to get out there!” Aiden, the band’s bassist called out.
“Not moving until y/n wishes me good luck.” he quickly shook his head, his fluffy hair shaking with it and you thought how he resembled a dog; in more ways than one.
“Fine you spoiled brat. Good luck.” you said sarcastically and he scoffed.
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” he smirked, leaning into your personal space again.
“Get on the stage, Hyunjin.” you sighed and he chuckled in delight.
“Watch me closely.” he winked before running off.
“I can just cut the tension in the air with a knife.” Steph smirked at you, wiggling her eyebrows.
“Oh, fuck off!” you said, smacking the back of her head as she cackled.
You did end up watching Hyunjin’s band perform after refreshing yourself, but pretty soon you’ve come to regret that decision.
He was wild while performing, stripping out of his jacket as he screamed into the mic, sweating under the bright lights pointed directly at him making him look like an insane glazed donut as he strutted around the stage acting all smug even though he tripped over his dumb long legs multiple times.
He’d lean over towards his little groupies, holding their hand or caressing their faces, blowing them kisses and whatnot, all of that behavior making your gut churn in disgust.
The last straw was when he laid down on his back and started humping the air while moaning into the mic.
Even though the crowd screamed louder than before and the horny fans almost started hyperventilating, you felt second hand embarrassment at witnessing this.
Hyunjin continued moaning before he threw his head back, his eyes locking with yours.
A shiver ran down your spine as he smirked at you, all sweaty, his hair sticking to his forehead, his piercings shining in the light, the veins on his neck visible and his cheeks red.
A warmness spread in your navel as he winked, licking at his lip slowly, taunting you before he moaned extra loudly, the pornographic sound echoing in your ears.
You frowned suddenly at your heart beating fast and your legs pressing together.
What the fuck is wrong with me?, you thought, quickly shaking your head as he finally looked away from you and stood up.
Of course, he got showered by multiple bras on stage, you think you even caught a glimpse of someone throwing their panties and you couldn’t watch anymore.
It was truly disgusting.
You quickly shoved past some staff members watching and gasping at whatever Hyunjin was doing now.
Pushing past everyone, you made your way outside to get some fresh air in the hidden area behind backstage, where staff and musicians usually smoked or chilled after a performance.
You greeted some of the staff before finding a spot where you could be alone.
You were about to relax when you heard kissing sounds and as you turned to look around the corner you saw Steph kissing some random girl.
You couldn’t contain the gasp that flew out of your mouth, making them jolt away from each other.
Steph’s eyes widened when she saw you and you quickly spun around, noticing Janey had just walked outside too and started looking around.
“Y/n, wait!” Steph yelled behind you. “It’s not what you think! Please, don’t tell Janey!” she looked at you desperately but you hated cheaters more than anything, seeing her betrayal with your own eyes broke any sort of connection you had with her.
“Isn’t it? Your tongue was down some girl’s throat. Now, what do you call that?” you scoffed.
“What?” Janey appeared next to you, just as the girl who Steph was kissing before stood behind her.
“It’s not like that, I-”
You could see Janey’s eyes filling up with tears.
“That’s it, I’m done. With you and with the band. With everything.” you gasped when she said that, your eyes wide.
“Janey, don’t be like that, it didn’t mean anything to me-” Steph started.
“Liar, you told me you’d leave her for me.” the girl behind Steph chimed in.
“Oh, so this has been going on for some time?” Janey looked between Steph and the girl.
“Let’s talk about this inside.” you tried to lead them in as people were whispering and looking at the four of you.
“I have nothing else to say. I’m sorry, y/n. I can’t be a part of this band anymore when all it’s gonna do is remind me of this cheating whore.” Janey spat before turning around and leaving.
“Okay, I deserve that but like I’m sorry that-”
“Save it, Steph. I can’t believe you did this. You put your desires over the well-being of our band. You do understand that your actions not only affect Janey, but also me, Ana and the rest of the record company?” you asked her, your blood boiling with anger.
“I- I’m sorry, let me make it right. I’ll talk to Janey and she’ll forgive me once she understands-”
“You think I want you to be part of the band after this? That’s rich.” you turned around too, in hopes of finding Janey.
“Y/n, you can’t throw me out of the band!” Steph yelled behind you.
“I just did.” you said coldly before opening the door and rushing into the backstage room.
“Is Janey here?” you asked Ana and before she could answer, someone bumped into you rather strongly, making you stumble backwards a little.
You turned around angrily, noticing a very sweaty and breathless Hyunjin staring at you with a smile, his tongue lolling out of his lips as he played with his piercing.
“So, did you like my performance?” he winked at you. “Did it get you excited?” the famous shit eating grin spread on his face as he leaned in closer to you, a few droplets of sweat dripping from his hair.
“I don’t have time for your games, Hyunjin. Please leave me alone.” you said annoyingly, noticing he had a bra hooked around his hand.
“What’s going on?” Ana asked, looking at you confusedly.
You were shaken up, the anger you felt manifesting into tears and you cursed yourself for being so emotional and quick to cry.
“Woah, you’re crying!” Hyunjin stepped even closer to you but you’ve had enough of him.
“Get away from me, asshole!” you channeled all your anger his way as you pressed your hands on his chest, pushing him away.
Hyunjin stumbled with a gasp, a shocked look on his face.
“What the hell is happening here?” Anthony quickly came to Hyunjin’s side as his bandmates watched everything unfold.
“Ana, can we talk in private?” you glared once more at Hyunjin and she quickly nodded, hooking her arm with yours and taking you away from the scene.
Hyunjin watched your figure disappear out of view with a deep frown on his face.
-
It’s been a dreadful week.
You’ve tried talking to Janey multiple times, begging her to come back, promising to her that you wouldn’t let Steph come anywhere near her.
Sadly, Janey was insistent on not wanting to continue with the band since lots of the songs were written by her and her now ex girlfriend who betrayed her in such an ugly way.
You talked to Ana almost every day on the phone but you weren’t up for any visits, choosing instead to wallow in your sadness.
Your band fell apart, your friends were no longer together, your album couldn’t be published and people were speculating, spreading rumors, you were getting numerous curious comments asking what happened to Venus Flytrap.
You had no idea what to do at that moment.
You just needed some time to yourself to figure out what your next step should be.
You were lounging in your bed when your phone buzzed for the hundredth time.
Rolling your eyes, you grabbed it and saw that you had a text message from an unknown number.
???: hey there pretty girl! don’t be so sad! there are worse things than your band falling apart.
you: what, like death? and who is this?
???: your favorite person in the whole world<3
you: hyunjin??
???: aw i knew i was your favorite!
You started seething immediately as you sat up, your heart beating fast instantly as you worked yourself up into annoyance.
You quickly put his contact under ‘asshole’.
you: no, i knew that a conceited answer like that can only come from an asshole like you.
you: now, what do you want?
asshole: did you save my contact as asshole? or dickhead? which one is it?
you: wouldn’t you like to know. seriously what the hell do you want. i’ll block you if you don’t get on with it
asshole: just wanted to see if you maybe want to talk to someone
you: if i did, i wouldn’t choose you. have a nice day away from me hyunjin
Hyunjin didn’t answer your last text, instead he left you on read and you tossed your phone across your bed, now feeling even more infuriated than before.
You squinted your eyes, grabbing your phone again and texting Ana.
you: did you give my number to hyunjin??
Ana: i’m sorry! he wouldn’t stop bugging me about it! pls don’t be mad
Just great.
Why is he insisting on annoying you even when you feel down in the dumps, you thought, he always has to come in and make you feel even more mad.
You were hoping that with your last text he’d finally leave you alone.
You also hoped you wouldn’t be seeing him any time soon.
But boy, you couldn’t be more wrong.
-
“What?!” you yelled so loudly that it echoed off of the office walls.
“Y/n, please we don’t know any other solution. Lycoris Radiata is going to tour in 4 days and you’re the only person who knows their songs by heart. You can also kick ass with drums. And well, you’re kinda free now.” Anthony grimaced.
“You can’t do this to me. I can’t spend so much time with Hwang Hyunjin!” you whined like a child, kicking your legs under the table as Ana gave you an apologetic look.
“Gossiping about me?” Hyunjin strolled in, with that annoying smirk, his hair in a little ponytail, showing more of his ear piercings and his sharp jawline.
He took off his leather jacket, throwing it haphazardly on the chair before he plopped down into it.
He spun around in the chair to face you as you looked at him with a scowl on your face.
Brendon, his guitarist and Aiden joined the meeting right after that.
“So, ready to be my new drummer?” Hyunjin wiggled his eyebrows at you.
“Not a chance in hell.”
“Y/n, please, we have no other choice! Phil had to leave so suddenly due to his sickness. We couldn’t be prepared for something like that. We can’t afford to postpone the tour now.” Brendon pleaded as Aiden nodded next to him.
You leaned back into the chair, pursing your lips as you gave it a thought.
Of course they’d choose you.
You knew their songs by heart since you shared so many tours together but you had your own bus and mostly ran into Hyunjin either backstage or at an afterparty but if you would become a part of his band you’d spend most of your time with him.
But this could be good for you to give yourself time to decide what you wanna do next while touring with Lycoris Radiata.
And since you were a multi instrumentalist, playing the drums wouldn’t be a problem for you.
You smirked suddenly before tilting your head at Hyunjin.
“Fine. I will tour with you under one condition.” you said.
“Anything!” Anthony piped in but you kept staring at Hyunjin.
“I want you to beg.” your smirk deepened and Hyunjin’s eyes widened slightly, his fingers twitching against his thighs.
“What?” he blinked repeatedly and you chuckled under your breath.
“Beg me to join your band or I’m not doing it.”
Hyunjin’s lips opened and closed a few times before he frowned.
“I don’t beg. I demand.” he smirked, taunting you.
“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, you’re in no position to have demands. However, I am. So if I want you to beg, Hyunjin, you’re gonna beg.” you sat up straight as he looked at you in pure shock.
“My, my darling. I didn’t know you were this commanding. I kinda dig that.” he wiggled his eyebrows.
“Any day now.” you were ready to stand up and leave.
The room was eerily silent and Brendon opened his lips to speak up but Anthony grabbed his wrist and quickly shook his head.
You could see the gears turning in Hyunjin’s head as he stared at you, and slowly but surely his cheeks became red as he closed his eyes in frustration.
“Pretty please, join my band and come on tour with us?” he said, rather quickly and you tsked.
“Not convincing enough.” you enjoyed having the upper hand, the roles reversed as you pushed Hyunjin’s buttons.
“What do you want me to do?! Kneel at your feet?” he whined.
“Maybe.” you shrugged.
“Unbelievable! I’m the one doing you a favor anyways.” Hyunjin said, clearly annoyed and you were reveling in it.
You wanted him to get the taste of his own medicine.
“Is that so?” you raised your eyebrow as he breathed hard.
“Yes, your band is as good as dead right now, just like your career.” he said with a smug smirk, making everyone gasp.
“Hyunjin!” Aiden scolded him and you stood up, feeling your eyes water as you lifted your hand, your palm colliding with Hyunjin’s cheek.
The force of your slap turned his head right and he grabbed at his cheek immediately, his eyes wide, his face becoming red quickly.
“Fuck you!” you said angrily before turning around and leaving the room as tears started sliding down your cheeks.
“Now look at what you did!” Anthony was mad and Hyunjin shrugged with a frown, realizing quickly that maybe he did cross a line.
“How could you say something like that to y/n?” Brendon asked, and Hyunjin looked at them, feeling dejected suddenly as he rubbed at his cheek.
There was strength in your hands, that he was sure of.
“I fucked up, okay! I didn’t mean to say that.” he shook his head. “I will make this right.” Hyunjin added, standing up.
“Dude, I think you’re the last person y/n wants to see right now.” Aiden said.
“But I have to apologize to her.” Hyunjin chewed on his lip, playing with his piercing as a nervous habit.
“I’ll go with you then.” Aiden nodded, standing up as well.
“Fine.” Hyunjin sighed.
You sat in the swinging chair on one of the many balconies of the building, letting your tears slip down your cheeks as the wind picked up, making you shiver.
Hyunjin and Aiden found you pretty quickly and before Aiden could follow him to the balcony, Hyunjin smacked his hand on Aiden’s chest.
“Please, just wait here.”
“Fine, but if you provoke her again, I’m coming in.” Aiden sighed, shaking his head.
The door of the balcony opened and in the corner of your eye you saw Hyunjin’s combat boots and his leather pants.
“Go away.” you said quietly, sniffling and turning away from him.
Hyunjin stood frozen for a moment, holding his jacket in his hand and you took that time to quickly wipe away your tears.
You didn’t want to look weak in front of your enemy.
Footsteps approached and suddenly you felt a weight on your shoulders and back.
You looked down, realizing that Hyunjin had put his jacket around you and it smelled like cigarettes mixed with cologne he always wears and something distinctly him.
You took a deep breath and for some reason, calmness settled all over your body.
“I’m really sorry for what I said back there. It was way out of line.”
You didn’t say anything, still refusing to look at him.
“And I’m sorry about your band. I know that must be hard to go through. I feel bad that my drummer had to leave, I don’t know how I’d feel if-”
“Are you done?” you turned to look at him and his lips pressed together.
“I don’t care how you feel, Hyunjin. Just like you didn’t care about hurting me moments ago.” you stood up, ready to throw his jacket away.
“Well, I apologized!” he threw his hands up, rolling his eyes. “Though, I’m glad I have that effect on you, I didn’t know you cared so much about what I think or say.” he smirked suddenly.
You were tempted to slap his other cheek at that moment, and Aiden must’ve sensed it so he walked out to the balcony.
“Are we okay?” he asked, gulping.
“Not until he apologizes properly.” you crossed your arms with a smirk, and he knew exactly what you meant.
“Ugh! This is the first and last time I get on my knees for you.” Hyunjin said annoyingly as he kneeled down and you chuckled in delight.
“I’m sorry for being an asshole and if you could find it in your heart to forgive me, I’d be honored for you to join my band.” he batted his eyelashes at you.
“Mm…” you pursed your lips, acting like you were contemplating it as he rolled his eyes again.
“Fine. I accept.” you shrugged and Hyunjin stood up quickly with a smile.
“Welcome to the band, sweetheart!” he smirked, opening his arms for a hug and you quickly dodged under his arm and slithered away.
“You’re welcome.” you smirked back, grabbing his jacket and throwing it at him.
He caught it just as you walked back into the hallway, grinning to himself as you walked away.
“She wants me so bad.” Hyunjin said as Aiden’s eyebrows lifted comically.
“I think she wants to kill you.” he said and Hyunjin chuckled, smacking Aiden’s shoulder and grabbing him.
“I know what chicks like, okay?”
“You also know that y/n isn’t one of your little groupies?” Aiden sighed.
“I know, don’t worry. She’s special.” Hyunjin smiled, hugging his jacket to his chest, getting a whiff of your perfume that stayed on it.
Aiden shook his head with a chuckle.
This is gonna be one hell of a tour.
-
The party was in full swing.
That morning you had packed for the tour, your stomach swirling with nerves so much that you thought you’d throw up.
You were actually going on tour with Lycoris Radiata, for at least six months.
A lot can happen in that amount of time and while you were nervous to spend so much time with the infuriating and annoying asshole aka Hwang Hyunjin, you were also excited for the new experience and the places you’ll get to see.
Of course, you couldn’t leave without attending a ‘have an amazing tour’ party that was mostly exclusive only for staff and a few other people.
You were on your second glass of beer as you sat at the bar, the cold bitter liquid not calming you down as it should.
Hyunjin was having a jolly old time, entertaining some girls of course and if you had rolled your eyes any harder, they’d get stuck in the back of your head.
“Don’t take that to heart.” Aiden suddenly appeared next to you.
“What?” you chuckled awkwardly, shaking away your thoughts.
“Hyunjin flirting like that. He’s a lot of talk, more than anything else.”
“Why would I care if he flirts with some random girls?” you frowned. “It’s none of my business.”
“Right.” Aiden pursed his lips. “Well, I’m gonna go find Anthony.”
“Sure.” you shrugged, your eyes flying back to Hyunjin and the girls who were salivating all over him.
He was showing them his biceps and they were touching him like they’ve never seen a human arm in their life.
You scoffed, shaking your head when a voice behind you startled you.
“Now, why is a pretty lady such as yourself sitting all alone?”
You turned around with your eyebrow lifted, coming face to face with a stranger.
“Because it’s her choice.” you answered.
“Oh, feisty and pretty? That’s a fun combo.” the guy smirked, his arm leaning on your chair, almost hugging your waist as he got closer to you.
Your nose scrunched up, he smelled of alcohol and you really wanted him to leave you alone.
“I’m pretty boring, trust me.” you said.
“Oh, I don’t believe that. In fact, I think if you were to let me take you home tonight, you and I could have so much fun.” he smirked and you were pretty sure you barfed in your mouth a little.
“No, thank you.” you said sarcastically.
He chuckled, placing his arms around you.
You were completely unaware of Hyunjin who was keeping an eye on you and the suspicious guy.
As soon as the man placed his hands on you, Hyunjin pushed the girl he was talking to aside, his heavy combat boots taking him right to you and the disturbance in your personal space.
“I don’t really take no for an answer.” he said and your heart sank momentarily.
“Back off man!” you tried to push him away but he wasn’t budging.
Suddenly the guy was ripped away from you with such force that it pulled you to your feet.
You grabbed at the bar to steady yourself and gasped just in time to see Hyunjin swinging his fist at the man.
“Oh my god!” you almost screamed, your eyes wide as the guy fell to the floor instantly.
People quickly gathered around and Anthony was trying to push them away so he could grab Hyunjin.
“The lady said no, you fucking dirtbag!” Hyunjin said, swinging at the man again.
“Oh my god, Hyunjin! Stop, it’s okay, please!” you panicked, never seeing him this angry or violent.
“Hwang! Enough!” Anthony yelled, grabbing Hyunjin’s arms and lifting him up as he fought against his manager, still trying to punch the man who was now laying on the floor with his face completely bloody.
You kept looking at Hyunjin with a shocked expression as he breathed hard, his face red and sweaty from anger, the veins on his neck and forehead popping out.
“I stopped, now let me go.” he said through his teeth as someone lifted up the unconscious guy.
“Hyunjin, if this gets out to the press it could turn into a fucking shitstorm! What the hell is wrong with you?!” Anthony yelled angrily as Hyunjin stood with his fists still clenched.
“He made y/n uncomfortable and he deserved it.” Hyunjin answered before turning towards you.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes softening as you stared at him in disbelief.
“I-I’m fine.”
“Good. I’m done with this party.” Hyunjin said, turning on his heel and grabbing his jacket before he walked out, leaving you standing there still trying to process what the hell just happened.
-
You were half asleep when Ana drove you to the tour bus.
You barely slept last night, tossing and turning in your bed as the images of Hyunjin punching that guy from the party kept swimming in your head.
Never has a man defended you like that and you’ve never seen Hyunjin look so livid before.
He was usually either smirking, laughing or being a menace, ready to always annoy you but you’ve never seen him actually angry.
It was kind of… hot, you thought before shaking it off.
You wondered why he reacted like that.
“You okay?” Ana snapped you out of your vegetative state as you sank in the passenger seat, arms crossed and hood over your head.
“Hm? Yeah, just sleepy.” you sat up and looked around.
The sun wasn’t even up yet.
“You can continue sleeping on the tour bus. We’re here.” she chuckled.
“Oh, goody.” you sighed before opening the door and walking out.
“Morning, ladies.” Anthony all but ran up to Ana, helping her with yours and her bags since she’d be joining you too.
“Morning? It’s still night.” you checked your phone, seeing it was 4:13am.
“Not where I come from. You see-” Anthony started.
“Okay, I’m too asleep to listen to this.” you shook your head before strolling towards the bus.
You were about to just climb in and go straight to the nearest bed you could find but you heard some quiet music coming from behind the back of the bus.
You approached slowly and peeked around to see Hyunjin leaning on the wall, smoking and listening to some quiet music.
He looked up instantly, seeming like a deer caught in headlights for a short moment.
“Remembered to put on a jacket?” he smirked.
“Ha ha. Very funny.” you said and he shrugged, looking away and turning the music off.
As he brought his cigarette to his lips, you noticed his knuckles were red and injured.
“I guess I should thank you for last night.” you said quietly, swinging on your feet awkwardly as you dug your hands in your pockets.
“It was nothing.” he shook his head quickly.
“I wouldn’t call that nothing.” you motioned to his hand.
“This?” he looked at his hand and chuckled. “You should see the other guy.” he winked at you, making you roll your eyes.
“Clever.”
“Come to think of it, it does hurt a bit. Wanna kiss it better?” Hyunjin smirked, puffing the smoke out.
“Bite me.” you gave him the middle finger as he laughed, the sound ringing out in the quiet early hours.
“I might. If you ask nicely.” he said with that smug expression of his.
“I’m going inside.” you shivered, realizing how cold it actually was, ignoring his witty quips.
“I’m right behind ya.” he threw his cigarette on the floor before stepping on it.
Your heart started beating fast out of nowhere as his heavy boots stomped behind you, the sound escorting you to the entrance of the bus.
“Oh wow.” your eyes widened as you looked around the living/kitchen area.
“You like?” Hyunjin leaned over your shoulder and you jolted away from him, making him snicker.
“Yeah, it’s… not what I expected. It looks more cozy than I thought it would.” you nodded.
“You should thank the interior designer.” he wiggled his eyebrows.
“And who might that be?” you asked, making your way to the bunk bed area.
“Oh, just a guy. He takes payment in kisses.” Hyunjin bumped into you as you stopped.
“Is that guy maybe you?” you turned around, not realizing immediately just how close Hyunjin was to you.
“Maybe it is.” he leaned towards you with a smirk and you squealed a little, stepping away from him.
“Give it up. I’m taking the top bunk bed.” you pointed to the left side.
“Not fair! I always take that one!” Hyunjin pouted.
“Tough luck, I called it first.” you smirked, taking off your jacket and throwing it up on the bed.
“Or… we can both sleep up there?” Hyunjin said and you scoffed, pushing him away.
“Like hell!”
“Are y’all fighting this early?” Brendon came in, looking confused and disheveled.
“No, it’s foreplay.” Hyunjin wiggled his eyebrows and you made gagging noises.
“Here’s your bag, y/n.” Ana appeared with your luggage.
Aiden and Anthony came in after and everyone took some time to unpack and get settled.
“I heard we have two pretty ladies with us, so you fellas gotta behave now.” you heard an unknown voice and leaned over to see who it belonged to.
“Oh, we always behave, Stu.” Hyunjin smirked.
“Yes, especially you.” the man, Stu, rolled his eyes.
“This is our main driver Stu.” Aiden introduced you and Ana to him.
“Pleasure to meet you ladies. Hopefully the road won’t be too bumpy.” he winked before turning around and leaving.
“Where is Bradley?” Anthony piped in suddenly.
“Who’s Bradley?” you asked, at this moment you just wanted to get everything over with and catch up on some sleep.
“Our sound guy.” Brendon answered. “And lights guy. He is underpaid and overworked, basically.” he added, giving Anthony a pointed look.
“Hey, it’s not my fault Mike quit!” he lifted his hands up. “Besides, we’re picking someone up in the next town over. He’ll be our roadie along with Bradley.”
As they started discussing, you slipped away to the bathroom, where you could change in peace and get ready for bed.
You leaned on the counter, staring at yourself in the mirror as you listened to the muffled voices talking.
Were you doing the right thing?
Accepting to join another band when your heart still hurts from the sudden falling apart between your friends and band members…
“Y/n, I need the bathroom!” Hyunjin’s voice brought you back to reality and you stood up straight.
“I’m not done yet!” you yelled back. “You have another bathroom!” you added annoyingly, preparing to brush your teeth.
“Aiden hogged it. Are you naked or something? Cause I swear I don’t mind.”
You could just hear the smirk in his voice.
Rolling your eyes, you opened the door and Hyunjin gave you the elevator eyes and they lingered on your legs in the shorts you put on, going up to your chest and lingering again before he looked up at your face.
He was playing with his lip ring again, his cheeks rosy.
“What do you want?” you spat.
“Just wanna brush my teeth.” he looked at you smugly.
You didn’t say anything, just stepped aside and continued brushing your teeth.
You opted to leave the door opened since it felt awkward to have them closed.
“Isn’t this fun, us brushing our teeth together? It’s kinda domestic, don’t you think?” Hyunjin said suddenly, the familiar smirk on his face.
“Yes, thrilling.” you answered sarcastically. “You don’t have to act nice, Hyunjin. Everyone knows we hate each other so let’s just not talk too much and try to coexist peacefully for the sake of everyone else on this tour.”
Hyunjin opened his mouth to answer but you quickly turned around and left, not wanting to get into it with him when you were tired and nervous.
He smirked to himself, shaking his head.
The only thing stuck in his brain at that moment was the way you said his name.
God, he loved it.
-
You slept for a few hours only, waking up early yet again as the bus rolled to a stop at a diner.
“Rise and shine, princess.” Hyunjin’s head popped up in front of you as he held onto your bed.
“Fuck off.” you grabbed your pillow and smacked him with it, almost making him fall down but he managed to land on his feet.
You heard a smack and Hyunjin saying ‘ow’ quietly before Aiden said,
“Come down if you’re hungry.”
You chuckled to yourself, waiting for them to leave so you could get ready.
Of course, as soon as you sat down in a booth, Hyunjin pushed Brendon aside and quickly slid next to you.
“Oh my god.” you rolled your eyes.
You were squished between him and Ana on your other side, and he was too close for comfort.
You could feel the heat of his body and smell the scent of his shampoo and body wash mixed with cigarettes.
You tried to ignore the feelings stirring in your gut as you ordered.
“So, how did you like sleeping on top of me?” Hyunjin smirked, tilting his head.
“Not as much as you liked sleeping under me, weirdo.” you scoffed at him and he chuckled.
“I liked it very much, so that must mean you liked it at least a little.” he said as the food arrived and your stomach growled.
“Whatever you say.” you brushed him off and started to dig in.
“We’re close to our first destination.” Anthony started after a sip of coffee. “We will arrive around 4pm and have lunch, then we get ready and do the soundcheck. Questions?”
Everyone shook their heads no.
You suddenly felt nervous tingles running up your spine, and for some reason Hyunjin felt it.
“Don’t worry princess, you’ll do great.” he smirked, placing his hand on top of your wrist.
You snatched your hand away and looked at him.
“I know I will, I was just wondering if you’ll be able to keep up with me.” you smirked back at him.
“You’ll be surprised at how well I can keep up, baby.” Hyunjin leaned into your personal space, his eyes boring into yours and you felt your cheeks burning.
“Be nice, you two.” Ana chuckled.
“What? I haven't called him an asshole yet. Emphasis on yet.”
Hyunjin laughed next to you, his arm brushing against yours.
Oh, he is so going to enjoy this.
-
It was such a good, familiar feeling to sit behind a drum kit after being the main vocalist and guitarist of your band for so long.
The venue was empty at this moment and the sound of the drums echoing in the space was grand.
You closed your eyes and started playing a groove to get into the mood and Hyunjin was lured towards the stage instantly.
He watched you in awe even though he saw you play the drums before, they never had the name of his band on the front of them.
Hyunjin felt proud; that his band has come so far and honored that you were now a part of their story.
He hoped you’d enjoy the tour and judging by the blissful look on your face, you were off to a good start.
“Let’s go, Hyun.” Brendon smacked his shoulder, pulling him back to reality.
It was time for the soundcheck, and when everyone was finally on stage, tuning their instruments, you realized that this is real.
Excitement replaced any nerves you had and you were ready to tear the stage apart.
“Let’s jam a little.” Aiden smiled as everyone agreed.
He started to play a melody on his bass so you followed him with the drums.
You were so focused on grooving that you didn’t notice Hyunjin winking at his two other band members.
When it was time for him to start playing his guitar, Hyunjin decided to play totally out of tune.
You looked up at him with your brows furrowed as you tried to follow him.
He changed it up suddenly, that familiar shit eating grin spreading on his face as you followed him yet again.
Brendon and Aiden stopped playing as they observed the two of you, battling it out with your instruments.
Hyunjin was trying hard to get on your nerves, push your buttons but you weren’t gonna let him in.
“Having some trouble following, princess?” he yelled over the noise.
You looked at him pointedly as he started to play another melody that made no sense and you’ve had enough.
Hyunjin had a way of getting under your skin and he obviously knew that.
Your arm lifted up on its own accord and you swung one of your drumsticks right at Hyunjin, aiming for his empty head.
His eyes widened and he managed to dodge it in a close second as the drumstick clattered on the floor.
“Ha! Attempted murder! Y’all saw that!” he pointed at you, while looking at his friends and you started laughing.
“Don’t worry, even if it did hit your head, it couldn’t damage it more than it already is.” you smirked as Hyunjin huffed.
“Oh baby, keep talking. Degradation is my thing.” he motioned towards his ear with his fingers and you made a disgusted face at him.
Of course, the asshole laughed at your expression.
“Guys, can we actually practice?” Brendon chimed in as Aiden nodded.
Instead of answering verbally, you started playing so everyone joined in.
-
“Are you nervous?” Aiden asked as the venue filled up and it all became real.
“Nope, I’m ecstatic!” you answered, twirling your drumstick in your hand.
“Trying to murder me once again?” Hyunjin appeared next to you as you almost hit him with it.
“Trust me, if I was trying to kill you, you’d already be dead.”
“Nobody’s killing anyone, we’re already short on staff.” Anthony smirked before putting his arms around Hyunjin and Brendon’s shoulders.
“Good luck guys! And y/n, of course. I know y’all will do great.” Anthony smiled.
Ana came up to you to hug you.
“Good luck, babe!” she smiled.
“Thank you.” you gave her a bone crushing hug, she was always like a sister to you and having her here now meant a lot to you.
As soon as you walked out on stage, the screams of all the people that came to see you perform were deafening but heartwarming.
Hyunjin was the main character on stage, that you were convinced of as whatever he did resulted in even louder screaming.
You didn’t mind being the backbone of the band, playing drums to you was a meditative and transcending experience and anything you were angry or upset about, you could take it out while playing.
Performing with Lycoris Radiata was fun as fuck, even more than you hoped for; seeing Hyunjin up close made you realize just why people loved him so much.
He was charismatic, cool and lame at the same time, ethereally beautiful and down to earth, fun but sensitive, alluring but cute, he gave his all and more.
He was everything wrapped up in one and you wondered how that was possible.
A particular moment struck you; when you were playing a slower song, Hyunjin sang so delicately, his back turned to you as the lights beamed down on his frame, his sweaty hair and skin making him look like he was glowing.
Your heart skipped a beat but you ignored it.
Near the end of the show, Hyunjin did his usual routine which consisted of making everyone’s panties wet; it was time for the sex song he always sang near the end which made you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable but something about being on stage with them got you in the right mood for it.
The part came up; and Hyunjin was on the floor, moaning and humping the air as you followed his moans with the heavy sound of your drums.
Hyunjin smirked, throwing his head back to look at you as he continued his ministrations and you continued following him on the drums.
Aiden and Brendon joined in as Hyunjin became louder, resulting in you hitting the drums harder as the sounds all came together in a crescendo.
You wished that you could press your thighs together to create pressure and friction because the whole thing managed to get you wet too.
A part of you felt ashamed but you didn’t give a flying fuck in that moment, completely letting go of everything as the four of you continued jamming together.
Hyunjin stood up with the biggest smile on his face, winking at you as he ran a lap around the stage before literally diving into the audience.
You gasped to yourself but continued playing the outro to the performance while Hyunjin was being groped by horny fanboys and fangirls.
Security was there to pull him back up on stage safely and Hyunjin sang the end of the song before screaming a ‘thank you’ into the mic.
After all four of you bowed a hundred times, you finally ran backstage where a very sweaty Hyunjin started hugging everyone, eventually coming up to you.
“Don’t even think about it.” you said as he opened his arms.
“Not thinking, just doing it.” he smirked and before you could run away, his arms wrapped around you and he pulled you into his body.
“Ew!” you squirmed against him and he chuckled.
“Don’t pretend you don’t like it.” he held you tighter and your heart leaped out of your chest.
The bastard smelled so good even after sweating so much and it annoyed you how seemingly perfect he was.
“What, a gross sweaty man slobbering all over me?” you scrunched up your face as you finally pushed him away.
“I wasn’t slobbering but if you’re into that-”
“Please shut up while I’m still in a good mood.” you stopped him and he laughed.
“It’s so fun messing with you, darling.” Hyunjin ruffled your hair as you practically hissed at him, making him laugh again.
“You guys were fucking amazing!” Anthony yelled excitedly.
“I don’t know about you but I need some food.” Aiden piped in.
“I’m feeling thirsty, honestly.” Brendon added.
“Are we partying or what?” Hyunjin smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Hell yeah, we are!” Anthony high-fived him.
You ended up having the afterparty in the bus, ordering some food and acquiring some beer as you sat around in the living space.
Of course, as soon as you walked in, you ran for the shower, with Hyunjin cascading behind you and asking if he could join you because “it’ll be done faster”.
“Dream about it, asshole!” you yelled before closing the bathroom door.
“Oh, I do.” Hyunjin smirked to himself, but you didn’t hear him.
The excitement of the performance slowly washed away from your body along with Hyunjin’s scent that lingered after he hugged you, and you felt happy and cozy.
All of you finally settled down to eat and Hyunjin claimed the spot next to you, of course, his long slender fingers stealing your fries constantly.
“Will you back off! You have your own fries.” you slapped his arm as he whined.
“Yours are tastier.” he claimed with that familiar smirk of his.
“Are they now?” you smirked back.
“Mhm.” he nodded pointedly.
“Let’s see then.” you grabbed your box and dumped all your fries into his box before mixing them up. “Pick one up and distinguish if it’s from your box or mine.”
Hyunjin stared at you with his lips parted before he smiled.
“Aw, we’re sharing.” he said and continued eating as you heard some chuckles around the table.
“For fucks sake.” you muttered, shaking your head.
The rest of the night was full of chatter and laughter, and you didn’t mind Hyunjin’s arm or leg brushing against you ever so often, or his loud laughter ringing in your ears or him constantly poking at you.
It’s barely been one day on tour and he wasn’t as unbearable as you thought he’d be.
Everyone was tired and you had to hit the road so it was finally peaceful, before a loud scream startled everyone.
“Oh no, I am going to die!” Hyunjin wailed dramatically.
“What’s wrong with him?” you rolled your eyes as Aiden came in.
“He lost his teddy bear.”
“He what?” you chuckled in disbelief.
“Hyunjin’s teddy, he always takes it with him. He’s had it since he was a baby and he’s convinced it brings him luck.” Aiden shrugged and Hyunjin ran into the living area.
“We are doomed!” he said, grabbing your arms and shaking you.
“Calm down, it must be around here somewhere.” you sighed.
“Help me look?” Hyunjin batted his eyelashes at you as Aiden slipped away.
“Hyunjin, I’m tired, I need to get some sleep.” you whined.
“Me too! But I can’t sleep without my teddy.” he said, you couldn’t believe he was serious. “I will crawl up to your bunk and annoy you all night if you don’t help me look.” he added, smirking.
“Fine, I’ll help you.” you rolled your eyes.
“Wow, you don’t want me in your bed at all?” he kept smirking.
“Zip it. Let’s find your precious teddy.”
“Yes!” Hyunjin scurried after you as the two of you basically did a search and rescue mission for his favorite plush.
Eventually, you walked into the other bathroom, finding the old teddy sitting on the counter.
“There you are.” you picked up, chuckling at the state of it.
You couldn’t help it as you sniffed the teddy and sure enough it smelled just like its owner.
“Found it!” you yelled and Hyunjin bursted in, panting and smiling.
“Oh my god!” he exclaimed, grabbing the teddy and then you as he enveloped you in a hug for the second time that night.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Hyunjin held you tightly and you chuckled.
“Alright, you’re thankful, I get it. You can let go now.” you said, patting his back.
“I owe you.” he muttered.
“I really didn’t do anything.”
“You did, trust me.” he smiled.
As you laid in your bunk bed that night, you couldn’t stop thinking about Hyunjin.
He seemed somehow different or you were just now seeing different sides of him that you didn’t see before.
You didn’t hate him completely.
-
Ten days on tour and things were going great.
Every show was better than the last one, every venue bigger than the last one, every note played made Lycoris Radiata mean more and more to you.
Tonight was no exception as you ripped the stage once again, this time Hyunjin ended up lifting Aiden and spinning him at the end which almost made the poor man throw up from excitement.
“This was Lycoris Radiata, see you next time!” and with that you ran backstage where Hyunjin had to hug everyone, even asking for a group hug.
You had to humor him.
When your head finally hit the pillow, you couldn’t sleep even though you were exhausted.
You kept replaying one particular moment from the show in your head.
It was while Hyunjin was singing his famous sex song, before the moaning part, he came up to you and sang while looking at you.
You kept playing and looking at him intently as he sang the lewd lyrics right into your face.
Before he took off, Hyunjin lifted his hand, making a V shape with his fingers, doing the licking motion between them, his tongue piercing shining in the big stage light.
Your mouth fell agape for a moment as you felt hotness spread all over your body and he smirked smugly when you made a tiny mistake in your playing.
People didn’t notice but he did.
And he was satisfied with it.
You couldn’t stop thinking about it, and it had been a while since you’ve had a little ‘you time’ but it was hard to do that with so many people in the bus.
Your eyes fluttered closed and you sighed, hearing some shuffling beneath you.
“Y/n?” Hyunjin suddenly climbed up into your bed, startling you as you sat up and turned on the little light inside.
“W-what are you doing?”
“I can’t sleep. And I figured you weren’t sleeping either.” Hyunjin whispered.
“And how did you figure that?” you clutched your blanket.
“You sighed like a hundred times.” he chuckled quietly.
“What do you want?” you rolled your eyes with a smile.
“To hang out.” he pulled out a deck of cards out of nowhere.
“We can’t make too much noise, we’ll wake everyone up.” you shook your head.
“Fine then we’ll do something quiet.” Hyunjin smirked, tossing the cards aside and laying down next to you, his eyes closing.
“Turn the light off, sweetheart.” he cracked one eye open as you stared at him in disbelief.
“You are not sleeping in my bunk. Go back downstairs.” you whispered.
“No.” he answered simply.
“Hyunjin, I’m warning you, I will push you down.”
“Will you? You’ll wake up the whole bus.” he smirked.
“God, you’re so annoying!” you whisper-yelled, giving up as you laid down, turning away from Hyunjin.
“Be nice and share your blanket.” Hyunjin’s breath hit the back of your neck, making you shiver as goosebumps rose on your skin.
“Need anything else?” you muttered as he hogged your blanket and your personal space.
“A goodnight kiss?” Hyunjin leaned over you, peering at your face hopefully.
You gave him the side eye and he chuckled.
“Maybe some other time, hm?” he asked.
“Go to sleep.” you said and he laid down behind you.
“Goodnight, darling.” Hyunjin wanted to reach out and touch your hair but he figured you’d probably break his arm.
You didn’t answer, your heart beating so hard that you were afraid it was shaking the bed and Hyunjin could feel it.
You quickly turned off the light and tried to calm down.
There was enough space to where he wasn’t touching you but you felt his warmth, his scent, his breath on your skin.
It was driving you crazy and making you feel calm at the same time.
You managed to fall asleep somehow.
-
At some point, in the middle of the night, Hyunjin and you gravitated closer to each other and you ended up in his arms.
When you slowly blinked your eyes open and realized you were staring straight at Hyunjin’s chest, you jolted away from him, making him groan quietly.
“Where you goin’?” he mumbled into your pillow, trying to grab you.
“As far as I can from you.” you said, wiggling out of his arm that eventually caught you as he groaned again.
“Something’s poking my ass.” Hyunjin gasped when he rolled over and you laughed.
“It’s the cards, you idiot.” rolling your eyes, you left the bunk feeling embarrassed and insane as your face heated up.
What are you doing, sleeping in the same bed as Hyunjin?
You hate him, right?
You weren’t so sure anymore.
Yes, he was annoying but somehow that became kind of endearing.
He has bugged you every single day since the tour started and if he suddenly stopped, it’d feel weird.
You sighed, shaking off your thoughts as you grabbed your phone, munching on your breakfast.
“Morning, y/n. Tell me am I crazy or did Hyunjin sleep over in your bunk?” Ana smirked at you as she brought two coffees.
“You are crazy. But yes, he slept in my bunk.” you said.
“Interesting.” she smirked, lifting one eyebrow up.
“Hey, I saw you sleeping in Anthony’s bunk multiple times. What’s that about?” you teased as you opened up your insta.
“Well, everyone knows we have a thing for each other. You and Hyunjin though… oh yeah, you have a thing too.”
“We don’t have a thing.” you quickly said as Ana chuckled.
“Right. Mhm.”
You continued scrolling, and that’s when you noticed it; the hate comments on your posts.
‘She’s just a slut who’s after Hyunjin’
‘She’s delusional if she thinks he’d like her like she’s ugly lmao’
‘Untalented bitch’
‘Get her away from my Hyunjin’
‘She deserved her band falling apart they were shit anyways’
‘Y/n should retire from the music scene’
Your eyes started stinging with tears as you skimmed through the comment section.
“What’s wrong?” Ana tilted her head to look at you.
You slid your phone to her and she gasped.
“You know these people are probably some jealous, unsuccessful suckers.” she said.
“I need some air.” you sucked in a breath before hurriedly leaving the bus.
“What’s with her?” Hyunjin walked in. “Is she mad at me?”
“No, look.” Ana showed him your phone.
Hyunjin frowned instantly, running out of the bus after you.
You stood not too far away with a cigarette in your hand as you hugged yourself with your other arm and Hyunjin’s eyes softened when he saw you shivering in the wind.
“I knew you’d forget to bring a jacket.” Hyunjin put his leather jacket around you, smoothing his hand over your back a few times.
You exhaled a puff of smoke, not answering him as you melted into his big jacket.
Hyunjin took out a cigarette for himself and you reached out with your lighter, lighting it up as he smirked.
“Since when do you smoke?” he asked.
“Well, I’m feeling extra stressed right now so I needed something to take the edge off.” you shrugged.
“Because of the comments?”
“I don’t wanna talk about them.”
“I’m sorry.” Hyunjin sighed.
“It’s not your fault.” you said.
“I feel like it is.”
Hyunjin was standing so close to you that his arm was touching yours while both of you continued smoking.
You stood silently next to each other for a few more moments as the clouds passed you by, and slowly but surely Hyunjin closed the gap between your hands as he touched yours briefly before he wrapped his pinky around yours.
“Hey, you know I’m honored you’re part of my band.” his tone was serious and you couldn’t bear to look at him or you’d burst into tears.
“I know.” you smiled as you kept looking into the distance.
He smiled too, his eyes focused on you.
Hyunjin had your back; and that was a pinky promise.
-
Finally, you arrived to your next destination, and you’d be there for a few days which meant you had to check into a hotel.
You were glad to have some time to yourself, you needed a real shower and a real bed and just some time to get away from everything, recharge your batteries.
You just finished with your shower and skincare when your phone annoyed you, buzzing with texts constantly.
When you grabbed it you realized that you forgot to change Hyunjin’s name from ‘asshole’.
You laughed to yourself, deciding to just add a little heart at the end.
asshole<3: y/n what are you doing
asshole<3: why aren’t you answering
asshole<3: i’m BOREEEED
asshole<3: y/n!!!!
asshole<3: princess?
asshole<3: i’m coming to your room
“Shit!” you exclaimed just in time when Hyunjin knocked on your door.
“Go away, Hyunjin!” you yelled on the other side.
“Never! I will wake the whole damn floor if you don’t open this door.” he banged against it.
“Spoiled brat.” you muttered to yourself before opening the door.
“Oh.” Hyunjin looked you up and down, your hair still wet from the shower, your little nightgown accentuating all your goodies.
“Did you dress up for me?” he smirked as his tongue darted out to play with his lip piercing; a habit you picked up on.
“Oh yeah, I was just waiting for you to come knocking on my door.” you answered sarcastically.
“Oh come on, I brought snacks.” he lifted up a few bags.
“You should’ve said that first.” you stepped aside, letting him in.
“So, are you here just because you’re bored?” you scoffed as he practically skipped to your bed before throwing himself on it.
“No, I’m here cause I know you miss me.” he smirked at you. “I spared you the walk to my room, princess.”
“Oh yeah, I am the one who missed you.” you said pointedly.
“I know you are.” he wiggled his eyebrows and you groaned, throwing a pillow at him but the slick bastard caught it.
“I’m gonna change into something else.” you said, feeling a bit self-conscious.
“Into what? After that outfit, the only logical thing is to have nothing on.”
“Wouldn’t you like that?” you snickered.
“I would.” he smirked.
“Changing right now!” you left for the bathroom to put on some actual pjs.
“Don’t cross this line, Hyunjin.” you pointed as the two of you settled in your bed, ready to watch a movie and snack.
He smiled his shit eating grin and put his finger over the line.
“Whoops, crossed it.”
“Next time you lose a finger.” you threatened.
“Where is it gonna be misplaced?” he smirked.
“Not where you think.”
“You don’t know what I’m thinking.” he leaned closer to you. “But I can show you.”
“No thanks. Just watch the movie.”
It was quiet for some time until Hyunjin spoke up.
“I’m thinking of getting another tattoo.”
“Oh?” you didn’t take your eyes off the screen. “Where?”
“My back. I wanna finish what I started with my arm and shoulder.” he answered.
“Which is?” you looked at him and he smirked.
“Glad you asked.” he said, taking his shirt off.
“Woah, woah, what are you doing?” you jolted as he tossed it aside.
“Showing you my tattoos.” he giggled. “See, it’s one big picture. I sketched the original on my paper, it’s a flower’s life story. From a little seed all the way to the dust it becomes after it wilts forever. It’s not finished yet though.” he turned and you gulped.
“That’s a beautiful thought actually.”
“Feel the flowers.” Hyunjin turned his shoulder to you.
“I’m not gonna touch your tattoos.” you said.
“Come on, you know you want to.” he taunted you.
“No, I don’t.” you shook your head.
“Yes, you do. You started ogling me as soon as I took my shirt off.”
“That’s because of your musc- nothing, nevermind.” you quickly caught yourself, biting your tongue as your face started burning.
“Because of what? My muscles? You like them?” he started flexing immediately.
“That’s disgusting, stop acting like that.” you slapped his arm without thinking and you both froze.
“Oh.” Hyunjin smirked before taking your hand in his. “Really, I want you to feel my tattoos.”
“Fine if it gets you to shut up.”
Your fingers gently traced the delicate art on Hyunjin’s skin, starting from his wrist up his arm as you watched goosebumps rise on his skin.
You took your time to trace every leaf and petal as Hyunjin looked at you intently, his breaths coming out shaky as you traced over his arm, your fingers swirling with the intricate patterns.
Your hand came up to his shoulder as you continued tracing, his skin was so smooth and he was so warm under your touch.
“Y/n.” Hyunjin whispered, his hand covering yours as he leaned in closer to you, his eyelids hooded.
Your eyes widened when you realized he was about to kiss you and you quickly moved away.
“What the hell are you doing?!” you stood up and Hyunjin frowned at you.
“What does it look like I’m doing?!”
“Trying to get into my pants!” you scoffed. “I think you should sleep in your room.”
“B-but, it’s not like that!” Hyunjin stood up and you backed away.
“I know what it’s like. Please leave.”
“Fine.” Hyunjin looked dejected as he grabbed his phone and shirt. “Teddy is lonely without me anyways.” he said, making a theatrical leave out of your room as he dragged his feet and kept giving you pointed looks.
You were almost close to telling him he can stay, but as soon as he leaned in, you panicked and didn’t know how to react so you kept your mouth shut.
And you continued spiralling when he left, thinking about if he actually likes you or just wants to fuck you like he does to any girl.
You’ve seen him with girls on his arms constantly and while you always thought what you felt was hate or disgust; in this moment you recognized it was jealousy and it didn’t feel good at all.
taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @porangporangmeong @laylasbunbunny @laughatdanger @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @painterhyunjin @starlost-mochi-x @saintcosette @ooshyana @frehyun @scarlet789 @skzdust @simpforleeknaur @schniti-is-in-the-house
part 2
#stray kids x reader#stray kids#stray kids smut#skz smut#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin smut#skz x reader#stray kids hyunjin#hyunjin scenarios#hyunjin imagines#hyunjin fluff#hyunjin x y/n#hyunjin x you#hwang hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin smut#hwang hyunjin fluff#hyunjin skz#skz imagines#skz scenarios#skz fluff#hyunjin stray kids
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I am absolutely IN LOVE with the Gambit x sea monster mutant you did. Sea monster stories are my favorite thing EVER and it got me thinking about random little tidbits of Remy and leviathan’s life that I wanted to share
The first time Remy sees the sea serpent form he’s definitely a little scared and maybe a bit horny because hot DAMN. I can see him having a huge fixation on leviathan’s teeth, whether it’s the huge fucking chompers that could snap his spine in half or the human sized teeth that are a bit sharper than they should be
Remy placing a cute kiss on leviathan’s cheek while he’s in serpent form. He’s much smaller than him and leviathan can barely feel it, but he loves the gesture
Sex is definitely something that takes a bit to get used to. Leviathan’s skin is tougher than most and the first few times they do it, Remy finds himself having to do something skin aftercare due to the scaly version of beard burn. While I LOVE the idea of bottom Remy, I REALLY love the idea of him being in control. Leviathan is powerful and often finds that people expect him to take on a more dominant role in every day life so he LOVES being able to trust Remy to take care of him. It also gives Remy a HUGE ego boost, knowing that leviathan has that trust in him
Leviathan telling Remy all about the different sea life he encounters
Someone asks Remy about his jewelry and he proudly says “my boyfriend made it”
Remy Lebeau x Mutant male reader
Headcanons
Part two to a thing I wrote a while ago, which you can find here.
Finaly went on Christmas break, so I can hopefully sleep off this sickness I’ve been dealing with all week. How’s everyone else doing?
I imagine the first time you discovered that you could turn into a serpent was an accident. It was sometime during your time apart, where Remy was an X-man, and you were… doing whatever you were doing.
Maybe it was even during a fight with good ol Namor, who was pissed about some other being, entering his territory, since you carry such a powerful aura. The fighting came to a stop when you turned into a massive serpent.
It probably didn’t help your case that your serpent form had some waterproof feathers and was pretty damn colorful underwater. Or the fact that you could make rain, rainbows, extreme storms, so on and so forth.
After that Namor seemed to just accept you as his “brother”, in his own way… he was and is an arrogant ass, but he’s cool, if hed just stop his people from trying to worship you. At least Namor turned out to be a great help when it came to mastering your new serpent form.
After all of this, and you finally feel comfortable with it, you finally show it to Remy. At some point when he’s taking a break from the team or he’s just got some time off, that he spends near the sea since it’s close to you.
At this point you two arent dating, so Remy is very thankful for his coat, since it helps him cover the very sudden heavy pressure between his thighs when he watches you transform.
It’s not his fault is almost erotic, to him at least. Just the way your body lengthens, your muscles stretch and twist, how your scales grow and spread, and feathers burst out. The huge teeth bigger than his own body also has a lot of blood rushing south, something he doesn’t feel interested in exploring why.
He blames it on it being you.
It’s a very comical sight to see you two together around Krakoa most days, since you are very comfortable in the serpent form. So, it’s just you bobbing around outside the island, with Remy riding on top of your head.
Anyone with eyesight good enough can see Remy regularly leaning down to kiss the top of your scaley head, or how he wraps himself in the giant feathers.
But people also know not to look too closely, since Remy likes to… sunbathe up there. Or he says it’s sunbathing. And most days it is, but other days… well, its likely that it isn’t sunscreen splattered across his chest, and his twitching body and flushed appearance doesn’t help.
You almost always dump him into the ocean before putting him back on land, since he likes chilling up there for very long, and will give himself heatstroke doing so. This is where your feathers help, since they act as a parasol or cover at times.
It’s not as if you can feel much of what he does up there, since he’s sitting on top of your head and outside your field of vision. But just knowing he’s there, and sometimes smelling his more intimate actions makes your blood rush.
Remy also always demands kisses before going on missions, or you leaving for longer periods of time. This is both in your serpent form and your more human form, you better kiss him enough to make up for all the kisses he’s gonna miss when you’re apart.
I don’t think Remy does a whole lot of topping in the relationship, since he gets real hot and bothered about how big you are and how much you fill him. But he does do a lot of power bottoming.
He will never hear you complain though, since it allows you to lay back and watch as that half feral haze falls over Remy’s face, and his movements get rough and needy.
Even better if you purr or growl, flashing your teeth at him so it “seems” like you’re not just laying back and being lazy. You both know logically you could very easily throw him off and overpower him, but it makes Remy feel really good to be on top, and you feel good too when he does it, so why not.
Remy is very saddened that he can’t leave hickeys on you though, thanks to your scales, healing factor and just you being sturdy in general. You guys can’t even go with something more extreme like using a knife or leaving scars, since it heals up.
The closest you guys have ever gotten to a lasting hickey on you was after Remy spent hours sucking and biting at the same spot on the front of your neck, on a spot of skin without scales, and that faded after an hour or so.
Remy ends up having to cope, which results in him drawing on you instead with markers. He even finds ones he can use on your scales, and ones in colors that almost look like bruises. It’s not the same but its good enough.
I get the feeling the x-men have met Namor at some point, or will in the future. They don’t get why he’s extra sassy towards Remy, until you casually mention knowing him and how you guys fight on the regular as a “bonding activity”.
Apparently Namor is just mad that you’re dating someone from the surface since they all suck in his eyes, but you couldn’t care less. You love your Cajun.
You end up having to draw a lot of the sea creatures you see, since cameras can’t stand the pressure or see in the same way as your eyes, so Remy has a lot of those drawings saved in a folder. Hes debated on getting one or two tattooed.
He doesn’t know too much about the ocean, even after you guys have been together for a while, since very little is known about the ocean, but hes always curious and ready to listen.
There being a whole ocean people did freak him out for a bit, because obviously there were. There were literally people from space, so why not in the ocean? Them wanting to worship you at least got a good laugh and some flirty jokes out of him.
Speaking of Namors people. They would treat Remy better than other surface people, especially if he’s wearing jewelry made from your scales and feathers. They still don’t really like him, but they respect you so…
Remy is also definingly the kind to always wear the stuff you make him, he’s got multiple sets and many different pieces of jewelry. The feathers are most colorful and fit any outfit, but there are also normal stud earrings made from an old scale.
Remy likes wearing stuff you make him. But you also like seeing him wear it, since it puts your mark on him even if you hadn’t thought about that at the time.
#male reader#mutant reader#remy lebeau#gambit#xmen#x-men#marvel#remy lebeau x male reader#remy lebeau x reader#remy lebeau imagine#remy lebeau headcanon#gambit x reader#gambit x male reader#gambit imagine#gambit headcanon#xmen imagine#xmen headcanon#xmen x male reader#xmen x reader#marvel imagine#marvel headcanon#marvel x male reader#marvel x reader#x-men imagine#x-men headcanon#x-men x male reader#x-men x reader
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We're appreciating these pro-endo posts as an endogenic, especially the fact you account for traumatized endogenics (we at least notice "usually" and other such words in a lot of posts, and were taught at a young age how to analyze shit because of being autistic) so like...thanks. :)
Hopefully y'all are okay, anti-endos are really showing their asses this time in your asks. And we hope everyone else realizes they have always been that bigoted.
hey of course, thanks for sending this ask!
yeah i don't know why people don't understand that endogenic systems can... also have trauma. like. endogenic doesn't mean 100% free from trauma. anyone can have trauma. trauma doesn't always manifest in the most extreme forms possible like dissociative disorders. like i cannot stress enough that dissociative disorders are a very specific kind of plurality, and should NOT be used as a metric to gauge whether or not someone's plural experience is legitimate or not. the diagnostic criteria for dissociative disorders is so painfully restrictive that a lot of people who probably do have a dissociative disorder don't get the diagnosis because it's so fucking specific
and again, i just want to stress that endogenic systems literally are not hurting anyone. you are not spitting in my face or talking over me as a system with DID. you are being respectful by using a term that suits your experience way better. like idk how that is offensive to people. endogenic systems developed a term to express a specific type of plurality. that's not trying to mock or ape on dissociative plurality. it's not an attempt to talk over dissociatives. it's creating an entirely new conversation that needs to be had
people getting upset about endogenic systems are creating mountains out of mole hills. it is quite literally a nothing burger of a problem. there IS no problem. nothing wrong is even happening. like i cannot overstate how fucking annoying it is when other dissociatives decide its time to get on their high horses and act as if they're suddenly experts on psychology and mental health. like it really pisses me off when other plurals with dissociative disorders decide the entire plural community is about them. the dissociative disorder communities are about plurals with dissociative disorders. specifically. you can still occupy spaces made for people with DID, OSDD and so on and leave endogenics alone and the world will keep turning. the sun will rise tomorrow regardless.
learn to mind your own goddamn business if you can't respect that other people experience the world differently than you do. maybe, just maybe, the dissociatives who are intentionally going out of their way to mock and harass endogenic systems are the fucking problem, here. you don't get to be a fucking bully just because you have trauma. you don't get to attack and hurt people who haven't hurt you just because you were abused. that's literally fucking perpetuating the cycle of abuse. if you think to yourself that because you are traumatized, that it's okay to take your anger out on people who have no trauma, you seriously need to reassess your life. what does that do for you? temporary catharsis? a rush of dopamine that lasts mere seconds? chasing the high of harassing strangers will not undo what was done to you in the past.
as a dissociative- i only understand what dissociative plurality is like. i do not understand other forms of plurality. and you know what? i don't find the fact that other types of plurality existing offensive to me. it's just not. i've been very close friends with so many endogenic, spiritual, natural, etc. systems out there over the years. i have never found it offensive for anyone to say "oh hey i'm plural too!" and then explain a different plural experience than the one i have. thats why the term plural even exists, because it encompasses a broad range of plural experiences, not just dissociative ones.
like, to the dissociatives who are pissed off that endos exist: literally stay in dissociative disorder-centric spaces and tags. they're right there. you HAVE a community that you can interact with who understand exactly what you're going through. if it offends you that you find a VARIETY of plural experiences in the general plural community- that community isn't for you. like seriously. if it offends you that deeply that other types of plurality exist- the general plural community is not for you. it's literally not made for you if you can't except that numerous types of plurality exist. you have spaces you can occupy that ARE made 100% for people just like you. you can quite literally stay in spaces made for dissociative plurals only. like. you can do that. that's an option. and you can stop bullying other people out of spaces that they rightfully belong in.
trauma is never excuse to be a fucking jackass. it's perpetuating the cycle of abuse. that's nothing to be proud of. break the cycle. stop abusing people just because you were abused.
#asks#answers#plurality#plural gang#endogenic system#endogenic#endo safe#endo friendly#endogenic safe#endogenic friendly#pro endo#pro endogenic#plural community
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Slime HRT - Full Core Integration
<<| ⏯️ |>>
[The scene opens to a not before seen living room. Familiar decor can be seen alongside other furnishings. Elise sits on a couch inside a small plastic tub, where only the upper half of her body can be seen. Next to her is a shorter woman, speckled with red scales across her skin and small claws and horns. The timestamp reads ‘5½ Months.’]
“Oh gosh, how does she do these…
“This is Elise’s entry at five and a half months into transition. I’m Pandora, her wife, and I’ll be speaking for her for this entry and hopefully only this entry. I just started my own species replacement therapy like two weeks ago I think? I kept it hidden from her to surprise her but about three days ago Elise’s vocal cords finally dissolved. That’s why I’m speaking for her.
“Normally she wouldn’t have done an update this early but I encouraged her to make something, mainly because I think it’s important to have this documented. Anyone who goes through the same stuff my wifey has should know how things go when you absolutely need help around the house.
[Pandora retrieves a piece of paper from offscreen.]
“We did make a list of things to go over. My love is going to be demonstrating a few things, and it is her documentation series… thing, so she’s gotta be a part of it! First off is the obvious: no more muscles, and no more bones either!
[Elise outstretches an ‘arm’ to show the lack of muscle and bone. The entire limb is transparent and a vibrant green.]
“All she has left is a few organs and her brain. Everything else is just a little goopy puddle.
[Elise nuzzles into Pandora’s shoulder, and is met with a kiss to the forehead.]
“All the affection is just my wife being all cute and loving, like she’s always been. She’s basically been biologically a slime for a few weeks now, and definitely passes as one from the few I’ve been able to see.
“As a matter of fact, we learned that slimes are apparently part of the country’s No Fly List, since they’re made up entirely of fluid. We had to do a whole cross-country road trip, meaning four days full of driving for me. Loved that. But it just meant that my little goop got to be a little passenger princess all the way back to the west coast!
“Back to the ‘my wife’s organs are starting to dissolve’ matter, she’s actually about two and a half months ahead of schedule. Which meant I had to have a very strongly worded talk with Dr. Acosta from Something Else Solutions.
“Something Else Solutions is not licenced by anyone in Hyper City. We had to hire a private investigator to find that doctor. Turns out, he gave Elise a fake name and the whole office turned out to be some shady black market coven trying to advance their practices. So, my last week and a half has been spent talking to doctors and specialists and actual fucking witches. That last one was actually pleasant, and I would’ve enjoyed it a bit more if it wasn’t my love’s life on the line, possibly.
“The only real reason we’re doing an update now is because Elise is going into surgery tomorrow to get her core formed. Normally, Slime HRT has the patient go through something called C3 surgery: Core Cell Conversion. They’d take all your organs and link them together, and after a few weeks they’ll turn into what’s called a proto-core, which basically just replaces the organs. Eventually that proto-core absorbs the brain after like a month and at that point it’s just a normal slime core.
“Buuuut, now that someone went and fucked up my wife, she’s going into an emergency surgery called FCI: Full Core Integration. What they have to do–and thank the gods that we did this before her organs got dissolved–is take all her organs and her brain and rapidly accelerate that core formation process with donated nuclei from other slimes and a whole bunch of other inpatient hospital stuff. It takes a week, and after that Elise is gonna have a few gaps in her memory.
[Pandora hugs Elise from the side.]
“It’s scary. But we’ve somehow made it through worse.”
[The segment ends. The next segment fades in and shows a still image of a hospital waiting room. An anthropomorphic boar, a human skeleton with glowing green eyes, a well-dressed vampire and two humans are present around the room.]
-captions-
-The waiting room in the Hyper City Interspecies Hospital. Elise’s surgery was 12 hours long.
[A picture of many specialists and surgeons, human and nonhuman, with a blonde human woman in the centre.]
-Thank you to the care team for everything and an even bigger thank you to Dr. Therkin for walking me through every step of the procedure.
[A picture of Elise in a pressurised tank, connected to a series of tubes, wires, and monitors. A very small, almost invisible mass is at the centre of the slime.]
-This was my wife for nine days. Very glad to report that she pulled through.
[The final picture fades out. The next segment fades in where Elise sits in a long tub in a hospital bed, with an intact emerald green core. A timestamp reads ‘Five Days Post Surgery - 6 Months.’]
“...This is…my entry at 6 months during transition. Or at least that is what I’ve been told.
“I’ve been conscious for five days. In that time I learned how to speak and I was reminded who everyone was. Apparently I was in a…terrible condition. My core was able to save my life, and for that I am very grateful.
“I came out of surgery with near total amnesia, they said. Apparently that is a risk when you undergo such a procedure. It isn’t all bad, though. Relearning you have a wife is incredibly nice, makes the core sing something fierce.
“I’ve watched through those progress reports and learned about the journey I’ve taken to get this far, and to think that all that progress is behind me is incredibly inspiring. I’m going to continue living, all because of the work she did. I get to be happy, have a wife, all thanks to her.
“I’m not the same person as she was, definitely not. I have her voice, her life, and eventually the memories will come back, or so I’m told. But I don’t have her face, don’t have the same struggle that she had. So, please allow me to introduce myself once more to you all.
“My name is Mint, and I am a slime girl.”
[The scene fades to black as Mint extends herself towards the camera.]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SLIEM TIEM IS BACK EVERYGOOP!!!
Plot Twist: Mint is Authoress :3c
I've been meaning to get this out for a while and Solstice hit me with a lead brick of inspiration! Mint is now here to stay, but by no means is her story over!
Shoutouts today go to @ariathelamia whose character Dr. Therkin made an appearance to advise the surgery team! Tbh I do not trust Erian as far as I can throw him (and for therian standards that is not that far), so we got a second opinion and went to her!
Next time on Slime Ball Z: going to the solstice and definitely having a transgender moment[tm] with doubts about what makes oneself a 'real slime'
#I'm kinda impressed with how fast I pumped this one out :3c#slime#slime girl#slime hrt#therian hrt#otherkin hrt#my gender#my oc#my writing
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[11:19 am]
(cw: f!reader, surprise genre hehehe)
Doyoung's breath catches in his throat at the sight of you. You looked gorgeous, he always thought so but today... today you looked ethereal, like an angel. The flowy material of your dress makes you look like you came down from heaven to grace him especially with your presence.
"Doyoung," you breathe out, looking up at him through your eyelashes. Your eyes are wide with surprise, eyelids sparkling with the glitter dabbed across your eyelids.
Doyoung feels his breath hitch in his throat, his heart pounding so hard and fast he fears it might jump out of his chest. "You look... you- wow." He stutters out, his cheeks flushing with surprise and admiration.
The bridal party hustles around the small room behind you, a flutter of sage green chiffon and small bouquets of flowers. You step outside the door and shut it quietly behind you, not wanting your bridesmaid to know you're with him. "What are you doing here?" You ask nervously, fingering fumbling with the lace of your veil.
"I wanted to see you," Doyoung answers softly.
"No, Doyoung. I mean what are you doing here. You weren't invited," you reply coldly.
Ex-boyfriend!Doyoung sighs, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. What was he doing here? He was supposed to be out of the country by now or at least 10,000 feet in the sky. He didn't want to be anywhere near this event! Yet, here he was. After hearing that one of your mutual friends was coming last week, he'd known he wasn't going to actually be on his flight.
He found the same friend, found a selfie they'd posted on their story, and narrowed down the venue to a few different places. He got lucky that he got it right on the first try.
He runs a hand down his face, "I wanted to talk to you. See how you were doing, hopefully- hopefully..."
"Hopefully what? Change my mind? Convince me to leave my fiance?" You question while crossing your arms across your chest defensively.
"Not that, I just... I can't let you do this. I can't let you marry someone else, we belong together," Doyoung explained, reaching for your hands with a hopeful look in his eye.
You pushed his hands away, "no, you don't get to let me do anything. We're not together and we haven't been for 4 years. We've barely talked in all that time and you decide that the day I'm getting married is the day to try to make amends? What is wrong with you?"
"What's wrong with me?" Doyoung repeats as he feels his throat get thick, "What's wrong with me is that I've been miserable since we broke up!"
You sigh tiredly to keep yourself calm, "I broke up with you. Do you know why?"
"It was the wrong moment for us. We were always going to come back to each other. We're soulmates," Doyoung stammers out.
"No, I broke up with you because you couldn't compromise. You refused to make changes in the life we were building together to benefit the both of us. It was your way or the highway and I was tired of forcing myself to be who you wanted me to be. I'm not leaving with you, I'm not leaving my fiance for you, I'm not ever going to force myself to make a decision that you've already made for me ever again. I'm happy, I'm marrying the love of my life and he's not you," you tell Doyoung in a calm, collected voice.
You'd dreamt of this moment since you both broke up and he refused to acknowledge the truth. He refused to believe that he was the problem or could ever be a problem in general. Every couple of months he'd reach out, trying to rekindle things, but when you tried to address the issue, he deflected and the conversation became useless. After a couple pointless conversations, you stopped replying, stopped holding out hope for change. You allowed yourself time to heal, to get out there, meet new people, and fall in love with someone who was the human embodiment of your better half.
One of your bridesmaid opens the door, a surprised, "oh" ringing out in the tense silence between you and Doyoung. "It's time to head out for the first look," she tells you quietly.
You nod, looking Doyoung in the eye, "Bye, Doyoung."
He knows that if he speaks, he'll barely be able to get any words out with the knot he feels in his throat, so he just nods. He walks away, blinking rapidly to try to keep himself from breaking down and bawling like a baby. As he leaves, he spots your fiance with his groomsmen. He can see the radiant smile on his face and hear how excited he is, hear the way he gushes about you in a way Doyoung doesn't remember doing himself.
#kpop imagines#kpop au#kpop scenarios#kpop reactions#nct#nct imagines#nct timestamps#nct x reader#nct drabbles#nct blurbs#nct angst#doyoung imagines#doyoung x reader#doyoung angst#doyoung blurbs#doyoung drabble
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You Go To See A Christmas Carol Part I
Going to see a Christmas Carol in the Human World with Diavolo and the brothers takes a turn when the brothers forget what’s normal for them is not normal for everyone else.
You shuffled out from the middle seat of the packed car and hopped onto the icy pavement. You blew into your gloves to warm your face and looked around as the brothers climbed out of the cars around you.
Mammon: “So, this is the fancy theatre place, huh?”
Satan: “It’s a performing arts center.”
Mammon: “That’s the same damn thing!”
Lucifer: “Quiet! We’re late enough as it is! I won’t have you all bickering in the parking lot and wasting more time. You should be thankful Diavolo even invited you to this play to begin with.”
Leviathan: “What is this play about again?”
MC: “It’s called A Christmas Carol.”
Belphegor: “Ugh, we don’t have to listen to carolers do we?”
Beelzebub: “It’ll be okay Belphie.”
Belphegor: “No it won’t. Remember what satan did last time?”
Satan: “I was being slandered, those kids had it coming!”
Lucifer: “That’s enough! Let’s go! Start walking!”
MC: “Yes, father.”
Belphegor: “Pft!”
Lucifer: “What was that?”
MC: “I didn’t say anything.”
Lucifer: “That’s what I thought. Now does everyone have their human identities?”
Mammon: “Ugh, not this again.”
Lucifer: “This it’s important. Our names are well known up here, gathered all in one place like this it could scare someone.”
Belphegor: “That sounds like fun.”
Lucifer: “It won’t be when Michael hears about it. Now, tell me your names again.”
Mammon: “Matthew…boring ass name—“
Asmodeus: “Guuuuuys! I can see my breath! Look!”
Asmodeus: “Huuuuuuuh.”
Mammon: “Oh yeah! Neat!”
Lucifer: “Stop that. Honestly, you aren’t children.”
Lucifer ushered you to the growing lines as everyone excitedly waited to get through security and into the grand hall for the long-awaited performance.
Security Officer: “Lines that way.”
Lucifer: “Thank you.”
Satan: “We have tickets already.”
Security Officer: “Still that way.”
Satan: “Fine.”
MC: “Excuse me, we’re looking for a friend.”
Mammon: “Why would he know Diavolo, there’s like a million people here?”
MC: “He’s a real eccentric guy, red hair?”
Security Officer: “You mean that guy waving on the balcony?”
MC: “Yeah, that’s the one.”
Security Officer: “Been there about three hours now.”
Lucifer: “How many?”
Security Officer: “Staff was making a real big fuss about him too. You know him?”
MC: “Yeah, he kidnapped me a while back.”
Security Officer: “Excuse me?”
MC: “So the lines that way, yeah? Thanks.”
Security Officer: “Kidnapped?”
You chose not to answer him and ran to catch up with the brothers who’d quickly followed Lucifer lest they provoke his seasonally intense wrath.
Satan: “Lucifer you don’t need to call him you can see him from here just fine.”
Mammon: “I think he’s shoutin’ somethin’?”
Leviathan: “He’s saying…uh…”
Beelzebub: “I…can… see… my…. Breath.”
Lucifer: “…”
Lucifer: *sigh*
Asmodeus: “Isn’t it cool!!!”
Mammon: “Yikes! My ears Asmo!”
Lucifer: “That’s enough, where’d MC go?”
Leviathan: “Hey that officer guy looks kind of nervous now…he’s really staring at us?”
Lucifer: “He probably heard Mammon refer to Asmo by his name.”
Mammon: “You just referred to me by my name too!”
MC: “Hey guys, what’d I miss?”
Lucifer: “Nothing of significance.”
Beelzebub: “Lord Diavolo says he can see his breath.”
MC: “That’s adorable, I expect nothing less.”
Lucifer: “Please don’t encourage him MC.”
MC: “No promises.”
Lucifer: *sigh* “Does everyone have their tickets?”
Satan: “No.”
Lucifer: “What do you mean, no!?”
Satan: “You took them because you didn’t trust us to hold them!”
Lucifer: “Clearly I was right.”
Satan: “What?”
Lucifer: “Mammon this is yours. Your name is now Matthew Morningstar.”
Mammon: “I know, you made me go over it a million times. I don’t think anyone’s gonna even ask right?”
Lucifer: “They will in an interrogation.”
Asmodeus: “What? Are we being interrogated?”
Lucifer: “Hopefully not.”
MC: “The night’s still young.”
Lucifer: “Stop it, MC.”
Lucifer: “Levi, congratulations you get to keep your name.”
Leviathan: “Thank goodness.”
Lucifer: “Satan you’re going as Stanford Morningstar.”
Satan: “That’s a stupid last name.”
Lucifer: “Ignoring that, Belphegor your name is Todd.”
MC: “Why’d you choose Todd?”
Belphegor: “It means death in German.”
MC: “Yup, okay…”
Lucifer: “Beelzebub, you’re name is Benjamin, you can go by Ben if you want to— do not eat this ticket.”
Beelzebub: “…”
Lucifer: “Todd, you’re holding onto his ticket.”
Mammon: “Who the fuck is Todd?”
MC: “Belphegor, pay attention.”
Belphegor: “I am paying attention.”
MC: “I was talking to Matthew.”
Beelzebub: “Matthew?”
Lucifer: “Change of plan, we only call each other by our human names in front of other humans.”
MC: “I’m a human.”
Lucifer: “You don’t count.”
MC: “Shucks.”
Lucifer: *sigh* “Asmodeus you’re name is Amadeus, that’s an easy one, don’t forget it.”
Asmodeus: “Okie!”
Lucifer: “I’m going as Lucious, I believe that’s everyone.”
Asmodeus: “I’ll go first and show you all how it’s done!”
Leviathan: “Why do I have a bad feeling about this?”
Satan: “Because you should.”
Guard: “Ticket.”
Asmodeus: “Right here sweetie!”
Guard: “Amadeus?”
Asmodeus: “That’s right!”
Guard: “That’s a cool name. Seeing the Christmas Carol?”
Asmodeus: “I sure am!”
Guard: “Haven’t seen it in a bit, hope ya have fun. I’ll have to take my wife and kids when I get a chance, maybe next year. Alright, raise your arms for me.”
Asmodeus: “Oh no, did I mess up already?”
Guard: “Already?”
Leviathan: “Asmo, just T-Pose.”
Asmodeus: “Ew, why in the Devildom would I do that? That’s so not tending right now!”
Lucifer: “He has to use the metal detector, lift your arms.”
Asmodeus: “Ooooh, okay!”
Mammon: “Real master if I ever saw one…”
Asmodeus: “Shut up Mammon! I’d like to see you do better!”
Guard: “Any weapons on you, sir?”
Asmodeus: “Oooh, just in my pants!”
Guard: “I’ll need you to take it out for me.”
Asmodeus: “What? How bold! Right here in front of all these people?”
Guard: “…?”
Lucifer: “That’s it. I’m sorry sir, my brother was making a stupid dirty joke, none of us have any weapons. Lift your arms Asmo before I do it for you.”
Asmodeus: “That sounds like fun.”
Lucifer: “It won’t be once we’re home if you don’t hurry it up.”
Asmodeus: “Yikes! Okay, okay!”
Guard: “Okay…just gonna pat you down real quick….”
Asmodeus: “Pat me anywhere you want pal— ow! Lucifer that hurt!”
Lucifer: “Be. Quiet.”
Guard: “Lucifer…u-um…Amadeus, you’re all good.”
Lucifer: “Don’t you dare go anywhere, wait right there until Mam—Matthew goes through.”
Mammon: “Y’know on second thought why don’t I watch Satan first?”
Satan: “Ow! Don’t shove me what’s wrong with you?”
Lucifer: “Someone just go.”
Satan: “Very well”
Guard: “So…that’s you’re umm…brother?”
Satan: “Unfortunately.”
Guard: “Stanford Morningstar?”
Satan: “Stupid surname, I’m aware.”
Guard: “I think it’s quite unique actually, has a nice ring to it.”
Satan: “That’s your opinion.”
Guard: “Uh, lift your arms please…no weapons I presume?”
Satan: “None.”
Guard: “You’re all good, please proceed.”
Leviathan: “Mammon don’t push me what’s up with you!?”
Guard: “Are you next?”
Leviathan: “H-Hello, fellow human! Sir!”
Guard: “Haha! You guys are a pretty fun bunch aren’t ya?”
Leviathan: “We met at a convent.”
Guard: “What?”
Lucifer: “What?”
Leviathan: “I-I, um…it just came out.”
MC: “This is beautiful.”
Lucifer: “MC, you’re next. Please take them up to Lord Diavolo after this.”
Guard: “Alright, no weapons, you’re good.”
Leviathan: “Thank you, goodbye!”
Mammon: “…”
Guard: “So one big family trip today huh?”
MC: “No, I was kidnapped.”
Guard: “What?”
MC: “I forgave them though. Stockholm syndrome is a hell of a drug.”
Guard: “You guys really are pretty funny. You a comedy group or somethin’?”
MC: “We might as well be given my daily life.”
Guard: “Any weapons?”
MC: “Only spiritual.”
Guard: “Good on you. Me too. Catholic, what about you?”
MC: “I don’t even know at this point. I’m just here for Diavolo.”
Guard: “Well I hope you figure it out, have a good time.”
MC: “God willing.”
You looked at Lucifer as you said that and he glared at you while you gave Mammon, who was sweating bullets, a curious look. Something was definitely wrong with him.
Leviathan: “You think they’ll be okay in line without us?”
MC: “It’s just Beel, Belphie, and Mammon, it’ll be fine.”
Satan: “Okay. Let’s go up to see Lord Diavolo and brief him.”
MC: “Someone go buy some popcorn so Beel doesn’t have a breakdown in line.”
Asmodeus: “Leave it to me!”
MC: “No charming anyone, they’ll get fired.”
Asmodeus: “Ugh, fine.”
Mammon: “Hey uh…Belphie you mind going ahead.”
Belphegor: “What, why?”
Mammon: “I uh…may have forgotten somethin’…”
Belphegor: “…what did you do?”
Mammon: “Nothin’.”
Lucifer: “Mammon.”
Mammon: “I uh…forgot that weapons were kinda a big deal in the human world…maybe.”
Lucifer: “…”
Lucifer: “Beelzebub, Belphegor, don’t cause trouble, go right to MC they’re waiting at the door.”
Mammon: “Hey that’s my collar, hey! Where are ya takin’ me? Lucifer!”
Guard: “…”
Belphegor: “Just ignore them, it’s better not to question it.”
Guard: “Right…so umm, Todd, is it?”
Belphegor: “It means death in German.”
Guard: “Okay….arms up, please….You’re good….right along…”
Beelzebub: “Belphie, my ticket.”
Belphegor: “Oh yeah, here.”
Guard: “I’ll take that, thank you. Benjamin?”
Beelzebub: “What? No, it’s Beelzebub.”
Guard: “What?”
Beelzebub: “Who’s Benjamin?”
Guard: “This ticket is assigned to a Benjamin Morningstar.”
Beelzebub: “Oh yeah…that’s me.”
Guard: *mumbling to himself* “He’s the last one…you can do this…”
Beelzebub: “Is something wrong?”
Guard: “Arms up please…quick pat down…go ahead.”
#obey me shall we date#funny obey me#obey me skit#obey me diavolo#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me story#obey me 25 days of christmas#25 days of obey me christmas
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Secret Santa 2024
Run by @song-tam
This is my secret Santa project for my lovely cognate @wow-youre-so-pretty !
I have absolutely zero idea how I got you for it, but I had so much fun writing this!
Ngl motivation was so low it was playing limbo with the devil at first but then it finally started rolling
*cough* over 3500 word count *cough* 👀
Ummmm.... I was struggling really hard tk at least get 1000 believe it or not but... yeah
I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!!!
(FYI this will probably be the last time you ever ask me to write you angst 😅)
⚠️CONTAINS UNRAVELED SPOILERS AND SUICIDIAL IDEATION⚠️
(Keefe pov)
The eerie stillness of the emotions in the hallway spooked him. He was hoping that by the time he went back to Foxfire, the silence of emotions would go away, and he could go back to normal. However, things seemed to be taking a turn for the worse.
Hopefully, his empathy teacher would be able to help him get to the bottom of what was happening. The lack of progress he'd made on his own made him apprehensive. If he couldn't turn his empathy back on, he didn't want to know where that would spiral to.
Then, with the other developments while he was with the Forbidden Cities, he felt like he was currently falling apart. His hands were cold, and the more walls he built around the pools of energy in his mind, the more than achy feeling set in into the palms of his hands.
He sat in the chair across from Lady Velle, his mentor. She studied him for a moment before starting the lesson for the day.
Keefe kept fumbling to pretend his empathy wasn't majorly screwed up at the moment. A cold sweat trickled down his back when Lady Velle finally held up a hand to cut him off. It had been the fifth one in a row he got wrong. Only one he had gotten correct, and that was truly just because of a lucky guess.
"What's going on with you, Keefe?" She asked. "You're usually spectacular at this."
He debated how much to say. After a couple of breaths, he said, "Say, hypothetically, an empath shut off their ability, and couldn't turn it back on. What could that empath do to get it back on?"
Lady Velle crossed her arms. He shifted his gaze away from hers.
"Hypothetically, that would be impossible," she informed him. "Abilities can't be shut off once their triggered."
"Ok. But hypothetically, what if someone did?"
She stepped closer, brushing her thumb across the back of his hand and furrowing her brows. Keefe tensed up, afraid his mental blocking might not be enough to keep from something awful happening when she touched his hand.
"Your emotions are difficult to decipher," Lady Velle murmured. "But there's a lot of uncertainty. And fear. How did you do this to yourself?"
Keefe wrapped his arms around himself, unsure of how much he should tell her.
"The human emotions, they were too much for my empathy. So, I tried to visualize a switch connected to all the emotions and shut it off. Part of the string connected to them were tangled, so I unraveled it. I haven't been able to feel emotions, even with contact, since."
Lady Velle leaned on the wall and sighed. "That... is a first I've heard of, to be honest. Quite a talent, I'll admit. But have you tried flipping the switch back on?"
He scoffed. Of course he tried flipping it back on! He gave his mentor a quick nod.
"Have you tried retangling the threads?"
He had... not. He shook his head.
"Try it," she urged.
Keefe closed his eyes. He went back to the giant switch in the back of his consciousness. The strings attached were straight and in uniform, side by side.
He tried to mix them together. Tried to intertwine them. Didn't work. Had he really shut off his empathy for good?
He opened his eyes back up. "Nothing."
"There was something else when I read your emotions," Lady Velle said. "Dread. Almost like you're afraid of your empathy. Like you subconsciously don't want it. Why is that? Because that could be all the difference to turning it back on."
Keefe shrugged. He wasn't willing to let slip that much. Besides, it wasn't just his empathy he dreaded with all the other crap he'd been putting up with. Some of which weren't his right to tell.
Lady Velle looked out the window. She started to speak, but the chimes of session ending cut her off.
"Never mind," she muttered. "We'll continue this Thursday. Go to lunch."
Keefe grabbed his satchel and hurried out the door. Saved by the bell. Big time. He'd ditch Thursday. He didn't want his mentor prying further into the rabbit hole that was his life.
He went through the line and sat down at the table beside Sophie. It felt like all eyes on him. He was suddenly glad not to feel their questions buzzing through the air. It, however, didn't take away the weight of their glares.
Sophie could see the way he shifted in his seat. He kept his eyes downcast from the others. After everything that happened, he didn't feel a part of his friends anymore. He felt like an outcast. Maybe he should have just stayed in the Forbidden Cities with Alvar.
Keefe could have been eating pancakes right now. Instead, he was back at the place of horrid memories. Especially when he accidentally caught Dex's eye.
He wanted to make a joke to lighten things up. But now that he couldn't read anyone anymore, he was afraid of making jt worse. And when he opened his mouth to risk it, his tongue was dry. He couldn't make himself to it.
He could feel himself cracking. Too many pairs of eyes were staring straight through his soul. He felt himself shaking. His breath quickened.
Keefe truly thought he was ready to go back to Foxfire. He hoped getting back in his sessions would help him make sense of everything happening with his abilities.
He hoped being back with his friends would boost his morall and give him more motivation. No. The opposite effect was occurring. All of them staring at him like he was an alien creature made him realize how much him running away affected him. His friendships. His perception of life. The awful things he couldn't let slip. Not Alvar. Not Eleanor. Not his new healing ability.
He had never felt so outcasted. Not even his first few months at Foxfire, before the Great Gulon Incident that earned him his street cred. At least then he had Fitz. Not that he'd ever admit it out loud, for a while, they were the weird kids in the level.
This felt like a deeper kind of isolation.
One where he didn't know if there was a way out. One if he even thought living on to see another day was worth it. With the mixture of hopeless doom spiraling him into a darker head space and his mother's plans for him. He was genuinely considering the unthinkable.
The only thing stopping him was not having the stomach to do it himself. Sure, he was better with violence than most other elves. But taking his life with his own hand was too much. As much as everything hurt. As much as he couldn't stand to stay on this hopeless planet anymore. The thought made his nauseous and dizzy.
Keefe shook out of his dark train of thought when Jensj across the table told him, "Long time no see." A grin. "Glad to have you back!"
Keefe plastered wobbly, unconvincing smile onto his face. "Glad to be back," he lied.
Since when had Jensi been back sitting with them? Every time he thought he knew how much time had passed since being at school last, he was proven wrong once more. How much did he miss?
Keefe followed along the conversation best he could, more things he didn't understand being brought up, reminding him of how far left behind he was. He tried to stay out of the conversation.
That was until Jensi asked him, "Hey, Keefe, could you please pass me a napkin?"
Keefe glanced beside him to where the little black napkin dispenser was. "Uh, yeah, sure."
He stretched his arm across the table. But as he passed the napkin, their fingers brushed. Keefe froze.
No. No, no, no, no. No!
Keefe had built thick mental walls to keep this from happening. Why else did his hands feel so freezing cold it ached?
But it was unmistakable. The empty hollow feeling of someone who would never manifest. Of someone who was talentless.
He never wanted to feel that ever again in his life. But now, he had. And he felt sick.
He didn't even know whether Jensi had manifested or not yet. Now, here he was, with the knowledge that He. Never. Would.
Another burden on his shoulders. Another secret to carry. Another straw on the camel's back.
It was too much.
Dex gave him a look, sensing the wild look in his eyes. The quick nod Keefe gave in response said it all. Dex's face dropped.
Keefe was shaking. He excused himself to the bathroom and ran off into the hallway. He slid back against the locker and placed his head between his knees. Breaths came quick and short
Not again. Not again!
Another life he had ruined. Was he supposed to tell Jensi? How was he supposed to do that?
Jensi was close to the manifesting cut-off age. Could Keefe pretend to not know until he inevitably finds out. Did he already know?
Probably not. If so, he likely would have been kicked out of Foxfire already.
If it's going to happen anyway, would it be cruel to keep it from him? It's not like with Rex, who had years of hope left. Jensi was very well close to the age where, if you haven't manifested, they weed you out of the system.
Should Keefe rip off the bandage for him?
Keefe clutched his hair. Tears finally escaped. This was a nightmare. He couldn't deal with this. He didn't want to be the one deciding someone's fate.
He wanted- needed -it to end.
Maybe Ro left some lethal microbes back at the Shores of Solace. That mixed with a sedative would make it bearable.
Steps echoed through the empty hall. Keefe didn't have the willpower to pull himself together. He already decided he wouldn't be here much longer.
"Keefe?"
Keefe whipped his head up to meet Dex's eyes.
"It's not your fault." Dex sat beside him. "It's still going to end the same way if you hadn't found out."
Keefe sat on that for a second. "I have to tell him," he whispered.
"No, you don't," Dex assured him. "Sometimes oblivion is better."
"He's already to where they can take him out of Foxfire. If that's going to happen, I don't want him to think, 'What if?', you know."
Dex didn't speak for a moment. "I suppose you have a point. But are you sure you want him to know about your ability?"
"Not really. But... he deserves this more than I deserve privacy."
"I'm pretty confident that, if you ask him to, he won't say anything to anyone about your ability."
"You think?"
Dex pondered for a second longer. "I believe so. Question is, when do you want to do this?"
Keefe thought of his little microbe plan. "As soon as possible."
"So today or tomorrow?"
"That would work."
"If you want, I can be there when you tell him," Dex offered.
Keefe shook his head. "This is something that I need to do alone. I won't say anything about your brother in case you're worried about it."
"If you're sure he truly won't say anything, you can tell him about Rex if it helps soften the blow."
Keefe nodded. He dried his eyes before leaning his head back against the locker.
"Do you plan on heading back to lunch?" Dex asked.
"No. You can head back, though. I'll be fine here."
"Nah." Dex pulled his knees into his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. "I think I'll stay."
Keefe closed his eyes, wishing he was a telepath so he could give Dex a silent thank you. Instead he settled for trying to gather his thoughts in the quiet of the hallway, grateful to not feel totally alone.
The next day, Keefe waited in the same hall during lunch. He had asked Jensi during orientation to meet him there to talk.
The sound of someone heading down the tiled floor had his heart skip a beat. The curly headed boy appeared from around the corner.
"Sooo," Jensi drawled out the word. "What did you want to talk about?"
Keefe's mind drew a blank. He was regretting deciding to this plan.
"I wanted to talk about... ability detecting! How's it going?"
"Ability detecting?" Jensi asked. "That's what you wanted to talk to me in private about? If that's it we can talk about that at the lunch table." He turned to go back from where he came. "Cause I'm hungry."
"Wait!" Keefe squeezed his eyes shut. "It's not just about ability detecting. Has anyone told you about me manifesting a new ability yet?"
Jensi turned back around. "Kind of. They've mentioned it. But it was always vague, so I don't know what it is."
"Yeah... about that." Keefe's heart pounded against his ribs as a warning. "I can tell what people will manifest. And trigger it."
Jensi's eyes widened. "You can?" He got an overly giddy grin on his face. "Are you going to do that for me?"
Keefe needed to choose his next few words very carefully.
"I already did. Yesterday when I passed you the napkin."
Jensi tilted his head. "You did? When will it kick in? Is that why you left lunch? Does it take a toll on you or something?"
Keefe closed his eyes and swallowed. "You could say that. And... it's usually overnight when it kicks in."
Jensi furrowed his brows and studied his hands. "I don't feel any different. What was it?"
Keefe leaned against one of the lockers for support. He could already feel his knees shaking.
"Yeah. Before I tell you this text bit, can you promise me to keep this a secret? My ability can be mentioned at the lunch table. But this... you can't tell anyone. I got permission to tell you this as long as you can keep quiet. Can you do that?"
Jensi nodded.
"Ok," Keefe continued. "Yesterday, when I touched your hand, it felt... hallow. Empty. I've felt this twice before that. When I touched Rex's hand.... and Kesler's."
"But... Kesler never manifested."
"I know."
"But Rex..."
"I know."
Realization set heavy into Jensi's usually happy demeanor. He bit his lip hard.
"So your telling me... I'm talentless?"
"I'm so sorry. I wish I knew how to control this ability, and I thought I did, but-"
"It's ok," Jensi cut Keefe of from his downward spiral. His chin wobble. "I... had a feeling this was coming. Usually if you haven't manifested by level four, your not going to. I've just been waiting for them to finally give up on me and pull my classes."
Keefe nodded solemnly.
"I'm gonna head to lunch," Jensi told him. Keefe could feel the broken truth in his eyes even with his empathy screwed. "Are you coming?"
Keefe chewed his lip. "I'll be there in bit. You go ahead, I'll meet you there."
Jensi nodded and took a breath before heading back down to the lunch room.
Keefe went into the bathroom. He splashed his face with water. When he looked back at his reflection in the mirror, he could hardly recognize himself.
He was sixteen. But the heavy bags under his slightly crazed eyes mixed with his unusual palor made him look like an ancient. When he ran a hand through his hair to try and refresh its usual fluffynes, he half expected sharp points on his ears to poke through the blonde.
This wasn't a life he wanted to live.
He'd go straight to the Shores of Solace after school to look through the remainder of Ro's microbe stash, he'd decided. He already knew there was slumberry tea in the kitchen. He'd go out to the patio on the swing out by the ocean, somewhere quiet and peaceful, and do it there.
The end of the day rolled around. Keefe tried his best to separate from his friends to get to the leap master alone. Just when he thought he was in the clear, Sophie seemed to have materialized behind him.
"Keefe, where you going?" She asked him.
"I'm just going to get something from my dad's," he responded a little too quickly.
Foster's face fell. "You're not... leaving again, are you?"
She thought he was running away again. But... it was better for her to think that. She'd never let him out of her sight if she knew what he was planning to do. She cared for him. Way more than he knew he deserved. This was just another way he was letting her down.
Was he selfish for this?
Maybe.
But he wanted nothing to with his mom's plan. And he wanted nothing to do with these abilities. All of the secrets he was keeping from his friends would die with him.
This would be the one smart move he'd make in this game of life and death.
Making sure none of the information he had would live on and had the chance of slipping free. Making sure no more people's lives were ruined.
"I'll be back." Keefe leaned down and kissed her forehead, taking a moment to drink in her warmth as she wrapped her arms around him. "Promise."
A lie.
Like all of the other things he told her after coming back home. What was new.
But he found peace in knowing it would be last one he'd ever tell her.
One more thing bubbled in the back of his mind. One thing, if he didn't know what he was about to do, he would probably come to regret.
"I love you, Sophie." He closed his eyes, too afraid to see the look on her face.
"Keefe," her almost angelic voice rang out. Her hand ruffled through his hair, eventually coaxing his eyes open.
Her's were filled with tears.
"Please don't go again," she begged. "We're supposed to be team, remember?"
Her hand moved from his hair to cupping the side of his face. He couldn't help but lean into her touch, resting his hand atop hers.
"I have to go." Tears quickly welled in his eyes. When he blinked, they slid down his cheeks. "I'm sorry."
Sophie brushed them away with her thumb. She closed her eyes for a couple moments. Her eyebrows scrunched together.
When she opened them back up, they were almost pleading. "Come to Havenfeild. Just for the night. To make a plan. To help you pack." She paused for a breath, a fresh batch of tears brewing in her gorgeous gold flecked eyes. "Please?"
Keefe swallowed. "Ok."
He'd go through the motions. And then he could get back with his original plan.
Foster hooked her arm through his, pulling him into the beam of light to Havenfeild. As soon as they glittered into the pastures, Sophie turned and tackled him with a bone crushing hug.
"Keefe Sencen, I swear," she warned, "If you kill yourself I am going to murder you."
Keefe's jaw went slack. "How did you-"
"I read your mind," she admitted. She pulled back to look him straight in the eyes, keeping a firm, almost painful, grip on both his biceps to keep him from twisting from her grip. "I'm sorry, I truly am, but I had a feeling I needed to. And I'm glad I did."
She threw her arms around his neck, pulling him down. "People care about you, Keefe. I love you," she whispered.
Keefe felt his throat become thick. He had to clear it several times before answering, "But that isn't why I'm doing this." He tried to pull away. "This is because of my abilities."
Sophie yanked him right on back down to her. She cradled his head down on her shoulder. Resigning to his predicimen, he buried his face into her neck. He inhaled the soft scent of her panakes perfume, giving him flashbacks to the clearing in The Grove. It only succeeded in making his heart heavy.
"We'll figure something out. I promise," she whispered.
"And how many people will I hurt in the meantime? I can't do this anymore, Foster," his voice cracked. The pitiful sound made way for the gut wrenching sobs that wracked his body. "I! Can't! Do! This! Ok?"
Sophie held him tighter to her. She carefully lowered them down to the soft grass. She kissed his shoulder.
His own cries of mental anguish drowned out any of the other noises of the world. Slowly the sobs slowed into hiccups and whimpered. However, not by his own accord.
Soon a warmth filled it's place. Like the crackling of a fire on a cold winter night. Brightening up the chilling darkness. Comforting his aching soul.
Was Sophie... inflicting on him? Positive emotions, that is.
She untangled herself from him to look him in his icy blue eyes. "Hey. Can you talk to me now?"
He wiped at his eyes, nodding.
"Swear to me, Keefe. Swear to me that you won't even consider doing that again before talking to me. Before we can actually come up with a plan to help you."
He looked away, ashamed with his awnser. "I can't-"
"No, Keefe!" She snapped, startling him with her tone. "Swear. Swear on Silveny's life!"
Keefe squeezed his eyes shut and pursed his lips. He tried very his best to mean it when he awnsered, "I swear."
He'd try. He'd try his absolute hardest. For her. She deserved that much.
She must've been able to tell he meant it. That or she was reading his mind again. Either way, she pulled his face closer and kissed him. He melted at her touch.
This. This feeling was worth living for. If nothing else, this.
This amazing girl in front of him cared for him like no other person did. He'd do everything in his power to fight off the dark thoughts deep in his head.
For Sophie.
She finally broke away. She studied him for a minute.
"Come on," she told him. "Let's go inside and get comfortable. There should still be some mallowmelt left if I recall."
Keefe pulled himself to his feet and started to follow her in. Just as they entered the threshold, she turned back and smiled at him.
"It will be ok," she whispered.
And funny enough, he believed it.
#unraveled spoilers#tw: suidcidial ideation#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#kotlc keefe sencen#kotlc sophie foster#sokeefe#kotlc jensi#kotlc secret santa 2024#fanfic#Spotify
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DEXTER (2006-2013)
#dexter#dexter showtime#dexteredit#dexter morgan#debra morgan#deb morgan#rita bennett#lumen pierce#dexter x rita#dexter x deb#dexter x lumen#dextermorganedit#debramorganedit#debmorganedit#ritabennettedit#lumenpierceedit#michael c. hall#jennifer carpenter#julie benz#julia stiles#couldn't think of a clever caption sorry#i made this for me but hopefully someone else will like it#long post#gifs
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no way you dropped the biggest river lore in the tags and moved on like it was nothing 😭 can i ask if this is still your intentions with him? bc it sounds like you changed your mind halfway 🤔
im ngl though i really enjoy how ren and river are similar and different to each other, but does that mean river would hurt his angel but leave our friends alone the same way ren would never hurt his angel but would unalive all of our friends? since they're suppose to be each other opposites. i really hope this makes sense 😬 my final question is what is ren doing on thursday? i want to go on a cute pier date again 🩷🌸
@secretkoa asked: and can i hear more about what unsent memory is suppose to be about or is that off limits? idk if i asked this in my previous question so ignore me if i did! thank yuo and remember to drink lots of water 🐸🌱
⌞♥⌝ For those who haven't seen the original post, I want to quickly clarify once more that while River was originally my OC, he's since been picked up and revamped by my friend Jesse/@unsentmemory!!
However, now that Jesse has stepped away from the yandere community, River's fate (and da fate of Unsent Memories) has kinda been put on the sidelines for the foreseeable future.
‼️ Massive Unsent Memories and River spoilers under the cut ‼️ CW for: mentions of gore, torture, mutilation, self-harm, etc.
With all of that being said, yes, Jesse's original intention for River was for him to be your standard "serial killer-turned-yandere once he accidentally catches feelings for his latest victim (Bunny)". The only main difference is that I originally planned for River to be a generic murderer first, whereas Jesse had him become a yandere right off the bat.
You also asked to know more about Unsent Memories, and I think giving a general synopsis(?) would be fine?? ^^ But basically... After getting involved in a car accident, Bunny wakes up with amnesia and gets tricked into thinking that this random guy — whom they've never met before — is their loving, supportive boyfriend named River. In turn, he convinces Bunny that staying in their shared home would be more beneficial than staying in the hospital as it might rekindle some old memories, he'd be able to take care of them, and it would be easier for them to recover at their own pace. But surprise!! River is actually a frequent patron at the Murderer Motel™ and now has trapped Bunny in his Torture Basement®!!! <3 He also maaaay or may not've been the one who hit them with Ren's car as well... ^^ Oopsie daisy hehe
And yeah!! Similar to what you've said, River was also supposed to share (somewhat of) a narrative foil with Ren!! I personally wanted them both to have similar, complimenting vibes with each other — all while having completely different/separate motives and incentives when it comes to the object of their affection. I'm glad to see it was conveyed well enough; even after Jesse's additions to River's characterisation :3 I know I already shared some examples in the previous tags, but I can share a few more:
Where Ren puts Angel's feelings and opinions above his own, River purposefully ignores Bunny's and does everything for his own personal benefit. Essentially, "I'm doing this for you" vs "I'm doing this for me".
While Ren would never dream about harming Angel in any capacity, he's perfectly happy to kidnap, extort, torture, and kill everyone else... In contrast to River, who's accustomed to torturing and brutalising others for his own twisted enjoyment and sees it as a way to show his interest in Bunny.
Kinda silly how Ren claims to be a freelance programmer (but is actually a hacker) and how River claims to work at a music shop (it's a coverup for his second torture chamber lmaoooo).
[CW: implications of SH] Ren is willing to go as far as mentally and physically hurting himself if Angel asks him to, whereas River is willing to physically mutilate Bunny if it means keeping them by his side. [end CW]
With that being said, you can assume that Ren is easily swayed by Angel's words, opinions, and emotions, whereas River can easily sway and manipulate Bunny due to his own feelings and emotions.
This is something I've actually mentioned before, but Ren always prefers things to be tidy, so he often cleans himself up after disposing of his victims. Compared to River, who casually wears the bloodstains with pride and blames it on getting a bit rough with someone else during a boxing match.
It's no secret that Ren is willing to change every aspect of himself to earn Angel's love, and River is willing to change his serial killer ways to return Bunny's love. Da power of friendship and repressed childhood memories gksdgjh T_T /silly
Ren pretends to be a Normal Guy© with tons of empathy to spare, whereas River pretends to be a Regular Person℗ with the heart of a himbo.
I could go on but you get da point lol
So, yeah!! This is essentially the vibes we had planned for River (and Unsent Memories) before Jesse stepped down /pos ^^ I feel like talking vaguely about UM is fine since River only has a small cameo in 14DWY — and I'm sure that if Jesse ever returns from war (/silly), they'll give River muuuuch more justice than I possibly can :3c
#Hopefully me yapping in this post will suffice for all the yammering I did in the other posts' tags lmaooooo#Ren: is that guy bothering you? I'll kill him >:(#River: someone is bothering you? more than me? what the fuck#Anyways!! Lords and gentlewomen..... I give you......#River ''you made me catch feelings as a child and I don't do feelings so I'm gonna hit you with a car'' Acosta 👏👏👏 /silly#There are direct parallels between 2017!Ren and River too if you squint#Also would this be 2024!River now?? Since UM is kinda homeless rn? /silly gshjgjs I just made myself sad T_T#Also; yeag... I agree that I could've worded my original tags better because it DOES seem like we changed our minds hjdgjsk#However my original intention [within da tags] was to talk about what River's characterisation would've been BEFORE Jesse stepped down#i.e. me yapping about what you could've expected from Unsent Memories since the game's fate is kinda.... ambiguous now ^^; /nm#But again; I don't want to force Jesse to come back to da yan community and write for a game they no longer have an interest in#It's not the end of the world if 14DWY doesn't get its sequel; and it's not like I'm going to stop working on its prequel either /gen#me: guys there's another yandere in 14DWY!!!#everyone else: omg it's Leon!!!#me: ......yeah... definitely... 😼#.......I yearn to :evilhehe:#💌 — answered.#💖 — 14 days with queue.#💖 — about ren.#🌊 — about river.#secretkoa#Very brief mentions of:#cw torture#cw self harm#cw gore
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My page for @kairizine. It was such a huge honor to be part of this wonderful book with everyone, I had so much fun!
[id in alt!]
#kingdom hearts#kh#kh kairi#kh xion#kh namine#i don't really feel proud of my own stuff usually but#i really think this is the drawing i'm most proud of from this past year!! it made me think 'oh maybe i can draw' haha#i'm still kinda bad with colors but something clicked with this one. and i feel like i got the sentimental feeling i wanted!#ooh but this project's about flower symbolism so ramble incoming:#protea symbolizes resilience transformation and diversity; hollyhock means 'please remember me.'#so my general theme was finding a sense of self.#these 3 have struggled with finding their own identity; they tend to get left behind both in-universe and in general plotwise#and naminé and xion both resemble kairi and were overshadowed by her memory. but i feel like all 3 have transformed into their own people#xion and naminé have their faces covered partially by hollyhock to show their wish to be remembered for who they are-#instead of the parts that they share with someone else#and the protea bouquets show how they each held on and resiliently grew into their own person despite it all#i put a little swervy path on the hill behind kairi to give that hopeful sense of growth and moving forward. it's a little hard to see#hopefully that makes sense! i really love symbolism but i think in visuals so i'm really bad with words#but gosh working with everyone on this project was so fun. it was like impossible not to get swept up by the team's hype for this zine#i need to hunt down everybody's work and rb it#ohh and everybody's flowers are so crisply drawn it's insane!! i think if i lined all these flowers and leaves i'd die haha#fan art#my art#project stuff
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@scimagic Uhhh made this because I just think they’re dynamic is neat. Also completely agree with the Puzzle headcanon super fun silly and very on point. As we speak he is clinging for his dear life :))
I really enjoy seeing the illustrated storyline you have unfolding between the two and figured it would be nice to see this motorcycle sequence in motion. So tadaa here it is! In animated form! Now your obligated to make a full length written novel in-depth about their relationship /j
Sincerely though thanks for the creative inspiration and keep on being a swagger artist 👍✨
#Whoops seems my hand slipped—silly me these aren’t my characters! Here’s your lovelies back sorry for abducting them momentarily :))#tagging people is scary I’m just going to hide under a rock after this gets posted jksjsksp#my brain goes ‘teehee my genius hidden evil scheme no one saw coming—yess I shall gift lovely artists fanart when they least expect it’ >:3#and then once it’s actally time to post my brain goes crisis mode and implodes#like why am I drawing attention to myself huh? why can’t I scutter off as a masked anonymous figure into the night#oh well at least we made a dope ass motorcycle animation hell yea. Hopefully you like it <3#honestly in retrospect kinda surprises me that Puzzles doesn’t have a helmet…pretty sure his screen is durable but not THAT durable#one oopsie woopsie and that thing will get cracked again <<#but then again where are you ever going to find a rectangle screen shaped helmet to fit his head jksjsksp#there’s simply no winning#oh uh also incase anyone wishes to know the logistics of making this….didn’t take too long just three days! Pretty speedy :3#ok now this is the part where I twiddle my hands and await results lol#…..also just occurred to me the motorcycle model should’ve been a Harley or Suzuki I’m just dumb and forgor#even tho it was specified in the tags of the initial post I referenced heavily#like I was staring at the art for reference + online material but that useful tidbit of tag information flew over my head :P#sorry all you get is the generic motorcycle model….mission failed better luck next time *dies*#hplonesome art#not my characters#gift for someone else#do I even need to specify that in tags NO CLUE I’M PARANOID/j
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Buddies trump the protocol!
#the idea of Martlet carrying Clover in a basket like the mail whale has been occupying my brain for the past several days#pretty sure i've seen someone else draw something similar recently so great minds think alike i guess LMAO#hopefully the illusion of motion on her wings worked out well#also drawing this made me realize Martlet doesn't have tail feathers???#what is it with UTY animal monsters not having tails half the time#i guess when your body composition is mostly magic though you get to give aerodynamics the bird#uty#undertale yellow#uty martlet#martlet uty#martlet undertale yellow#undertale yellow martlet#clover#clover uty#clover undertale yellow
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hey. if youre struggling to draw transparent/shiny things, try bringing out the shape by really focusing on the reflections, ok? things like glass and shiny metals get their shape by reflecting light/the environment around them. i love you
#its probably something people already know#but when my professor explained that it made something click with me#i dont know what i was doing before but now that im more consciously paying attention to highlights and reflections#i feel like im understanding how to convey depth more#so hopefully this helps someone else out there that was struggling like me#post inspired by my need to do more material studies#art#art advice
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What better way to practice new prosthetics then to piss of the bitch that got you to need them in the first place!
In other news, my pirate ocs Gali and Ido (with a third Meridi not present) who are the two sides of the fulmini cult escapees :P
A bit of backstory under the cut since they're the only fuckers I have WITH a backstory! Which btw does detail cult shit so :P big fat warning for that-
The inciting incident on Petropia that introduced it's modern underground population to the surface named the Surface Craze was in all due part because of fulmini interference at the behest of the High Override, who saw what was initially just a planet entirely made of quartz-like crystal the Override Fleet could use as a power source. Having instead found that the planet was not only populated but by a species of the living variant of that same quartz-like material - electrical properties and all - but that additionally they can regenerate their crystalline body so long as they have the energy to pull from.
Seeing this as a solution to the fulmini's energy crisis - a perpetual machine at it's finest - the High Override sought to heh... acquire some petrosapiens for themselves. To their collective benefit, a community of petrosapiens had found their faith and world shattered, previously having been extremely devoted to the Sugi religion (derived from the ancient texts of Thuugi back when their tongues were long enough to be bitten off). Instead of needing to drag away dissenters who fought tooth and nail against the invaders, this community had already shifted their faith onto the false prophet of the High Override, which already had them fall into the Coupled Override head over heels.
The cult has now expanded it's pool of prey, and like the unwilling fulmini who gives the High Override their tithe (their minds, their central colony), the petrosapien cultists pay with their arms.
50 years (or the closest equivalent) into this arrangement, 50 years Petropia spent experiencing the surface for the first time in generations, Ido was born into the cult far away from the planet she should have known as home. Any doctor worth their salt had enough brains and stubbornness to not fall into faith-based trust of the Coupled Override, so between the lack of those and the remainder pseudoscience physicians left to echo chamber themselves, when Ido began developing Excessive Compression Disorder (ECD, a nerve-equivalent disorder that causes tension fractures throughout a petrosapien's crystalline structure) despite the rather obvious visible signed she went undiagnosed and improperly treated. At the age of 200 - a petrosapien's coming of age, and 50 years after Petropia's destruction - it was Ido's time to pay her tithe and begin her offerings to the High Override.
Gali - her sacrifricant - was to sever her arms below the elbow, as was procedure. What wasn't was the near explosive response from external pressure, or the last compressive force needed to completely shatter what had already started to break.
Cutting people's arms off is technically already a violent act however, though the lower arms survived the procedure as expected, the elbow and even upper arm had scattered shards of glass-fragile crystal in a visceral radius and physically severed through the sacrificant's central colony; then Gali was abruptly severed from the High Override after they felt as if a limb began necrotising. Sacrificants nor executioners really need an active memory to do their jobs, so Gali didn't need to have memory for however long their colony was one with the High Override's. Forcefully amputated from the larger system like an infection without any of the memories of being apart of said system however, kind of rewinds a colony back to the people they remember being long before any interference.
While Ido was caught staring wide-eyed, fearful, and newly lacking the limbs she thought she could regenerate easily - her arms try and try but they shatter like glass, crumble like sand, and she violently shudders like gravel grinding into each other - Gali regained access of their long unused senses and found a sea of hostile enemy combatants staring back. With all the training of a military general with none of the present self-awareness to realise they were the cause of the currently very panicky rock's lack of arms, Gali almost like a flick of a switch reverted to the many rules of engagement regardless of the fact that they were sporting exposed central colony that may or may not have been another's with their own collection of memories.
Seeing to rescue someone who had all their rights to fear them, Gali and Ido fled to the stars.
With a few language barriers mixed with someones learning they haven't spoken much longer then anyone thought they did, discovering how planets that were meant to be each other's home have been destroyed and irrecoverable, and learning the before and after to the horror story that is the High Override and their cultist network of external nerves and collective colony, Gali and Ido may or may not have gotten arrested :P
And they probably would have been tried for crimes neither of them could particularly understand not having learnt any of the common universal languages, up until the point the prison ship was raided by a collective of pirates only working together for equal cuts of the profits (the Plumbers used a prison ship to transport the Annihilargh while they still thought it to be a threat, what's to say they wouldn't simultaneaously transport prisoners - aka, the fucking point - with some high sought-after McGuffin). The pair would meet Meridi, a galvan with a penchant for mechanics and especially the kind that deceives an observer like - for instance - an android suit.
Meridi isn't here but gist is, she pilots both her own ship and an android resembling a human, and spies a pretty prize of walking talking taydenite. Instead of scoring a deal, she takes into consideration (perhaps with a cold calculation rather than a warm sympathy) the condition of ECD affected crystals and how much effort it would take to actually refine it and deems turning Ido into pocket change isn't worth it. In fact, further taking note of the explosive volatile footwork of crystallokinesis with the additional muscle of a fulmini veteran, actively helping Ido (and Gali by proxy) would potentially turn out more of a profit.
Gali isn't in dire need for hiding, but Ido uses shadow and a human-mouth jaw mask as tools to conceal what price her skin costs, while Meridi attempts to make prosthetics for a species that doesn't have nerves that also takes into account the unstable electrical currents produced by the compression of crystalline motor functions.
A bit of a tangent in a very long not-even-bothering-to-summarize backstory, I want to talk about petrosapien prosthetics, at least ones that can have 'motors' like Ido's arms (not like Chio's leg). With no external muscles to help strap in and extend the remnant of tendons humans have running through limbs, petrosapien exoskeletons do not offer the same interconnectivity and do not have easy ways to extend what had been cut off. Myoelectric limbs again by human standards also do not fit petrosapien nervous systems either, especially since the only nerves they have are in their equivalent of the central nervous system which also interacts with internal organs, the peripheral nervous system of a petrosapien operates with the highly structured yet individually unique non-standardised crystalline formations and compression. What Meridi does however is take material from Ido's crystal to create the joints in a conductive copper rod prosthetic (insulated in rubber to prevent harm to others), where Ido's compression triggers electricity to run down to remotely compress the crystal joints, which compress under the pressures of electricity and send the signal to be compressed again until motility is achieved.
And that is a lot of context :P woops- I either make no backstory or I make this convoluted piece of moving puzzle pieces, the duality of man I suppose :P
#gali#ido#fulmini#petrosapien#ido is hiding the fact she's a petrosapien in the same way tetrax hides the fact he's a petrosapien :P#oc#ben 10 oc#ben 10#fanart#cult#cult mention#the cult details are under the cut but they are mentioned to be ex-cultists in the caption#so it turns out i did end up using something from that mega collection of images#lowkey (highkey actually) i was inspired to give ido a human-mouth mask from that one cover of thunderstruck#thunderstruck guzheng cover by moyun i believe- i do hope it's not like a facial corrective mask and i'm taking that and using it wrong#but moyun covers her face in all videos so forgive me if i'm completely enamoured with the mask design#gotta be honest with you- i made the concept of ido (pirate petrosapien) based on that mask alone#before i had settled on other half of an ex-cult duo#let alone bringing another older actually a pirate character to create another fucking trio#gali as a fulmini uses plural they/them by default but ido with her fulmus/petropian pidgin accidentally single pronouned gali as she/her#gali doesn't mind it she'll just say it's the plural she/her and they'll nod like it makes sense#(anything can make sense when you're one of two people actively speaking a pidgin language out of necessity)#it's not because gali has 'hair' those are the equivalent of exposed nerves (a fun prank to play on your friend *immense pain*)#but those are parts of other's central colonies with their own memory overriden or not#gali mayy or may not have the fulmini equivalent of a dissociative disorder (more osdd than did if anything)#but the functional equivalent in fulmini biology is quite literally caused by having someone else's brain attached to you#more akin to a male anglerfish than childhood neuroplasticity developing coping mechanisms#and introducing excessive compression disorder! a petrosapien chronic illness! yipippie!!!#i know functionally ecd (or this fictional version if humans have their own ecd acronym taken) isn't a problem real people face#but even in a fictional setting i want to be respectful and hopefully it was?
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I THOUGHT THIS PART FROM VNC CHAPTER 62 LOOKED FAMILIAR
i mean they're not. the exact same but they are very similar to each other!!
Also this could just be me but I feel like that these two have a lot of parallels. Break's family are the Rainsworths, who are not his biological family. Johann's family is Dante and Riche, who also not his biological family.
When someone they care about dies/gets threaten their first instinct is murder. When the Sinclairs died Break killed 116 people to bring them back, and when he thought Reim had been permanently dead he killed Fang. When Vanitas had threaten to kill Dante, Johann told him that he'll kill him if he meddles with his family.
Another thing they have in common is that there both, how do I put this, angry in some way/some point in their life? Break had been bitter and depress after returning from the Abyss but then learned to smile again because of Shelly. Johann... Okay, I can't say much about Johann because not much has been revealed about him yet BUT he definitely is sketchy!! With how the Dhampirs are treated it wouldn't be far off to say he would be angry at the world/society. He also has been shown to not like Noé much. Johann has also been shown to be very protective of Dante and Riche, so it's possible that he could've been similar to how Break had acted in the past, and now has something to live for and would do ANYTHING to protect it.
Another thing I'm just now realizing and probably should've brought up first but they have similar vibes/atmospheres. Though Johann is more flirtatious and Break is more... Weird. I guess. Eccentric, if you want a fancy word. They're also have this whole... How do I explain it? They're good at observing/analyzing things is I guess the best way to explain it?
I think I'm gonna stop there, there was something else I kind of wanted to talk about but I think it was a little bit of a stench fkdjgfjdf. I could be wrong about some of these, I didn't mean to write this much so basically all of it I wrote on a whim. Whatever my brain thought of I wrote down which resulted in this (which reading over it might be noticeable considering this post is kinda a mess kgjkfjgjfj). There's also the fact that some of the Johann stuff was just speculation, which could 100% be wrong. But I do think some of it I'm right about!!
#the mochijun brain left me for a month but then came straight back#love how i originally just wanted to point out that those panels looked similar and ended up writing a essay#ok a essay is a exaggeration BUT STILL#listen these two specifically have just flooded my mind recently#anytime i make a post i worry that someone else made one just like it especially since i don't constantly interact with one specific fandom#so hopefully no else has made something to similar kdfkjfjg. or at least just went into less or more detail than i did#anyways actually tags now#pandora hearts#the case study of vanitas#vanitas no carte#vnc#xerxes break#vnc johann#bro its 1:30 in the morning i need to go to sleep kdfsjfljf#purple8cat
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