#i love you mom i miss you and i hope to see you in my dreams
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PAC : Letter from your pregnant self (HIS POV) 18+
I got beef with men but ... what else is new ?
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PILE 1
MY BEEF...any way thank you so much for coming through. Girl you better like it, he got me working fucking overtime. Actually all of them did ...
(LINK TO YOUR READING ... YES IT IS FREE AND ON TUMBLR ... MERRY CHRISMAS)
PILE 2
Both of y’all are only child that were raised to be anxious over achiever. Parents are never there. I keep hearing : ‘’Super rich kids with nothing but loose ends. Super rich with nothing but fake friends…’’
Letter suppose to be for you but instead he wrote it for your baby.
Dear Lucetta (Various ethereal ‘’L’’ name came through. Other name that came through : Lysandra, Lysianne and Lucretia)
Daddy messed up (This man is bawling. I mean breakdown and everything. He tries to be strong but for the sec that he admits that, tears are overflowing. If he was actually writing the letter they would be teardrop on the letter). Daddy is nothing but an asshole. I should not write this right … Your mama is going to get mad when she realizes how I butcher your vocabulary (yellow laugh ( french : rire jaune) … idk how to explain it in english). Fuck … You deserve a fucking good letter. That’s the least I can fucking do … yeah that’s the least I can do. Mama decorate your room like the royalty you are meant to be. The tapestry tailored in Spain in an accent of gold and soft pink are all over the walls. Made sure to ask the maid to polish the wooden floor until she can see herself in it. She actually sent me in here to check the oxygen cleanliness of your room. First wtf is air cleanliness. Second when the fuck did they created a damm machine for that shit. Lastly, you are not even there … Sorry baby … I love you more than anything but your mama is gone mad with the way she’s preparing for you. I never understood when my poor friends complain about rich people's spending habits. Now I am standing in the room section reserved for your room oxygen. I can help but run a hand in my hair and agree. (Another yellow laugh (rire jaune) before falling down on his knees and crying. Give him a couple minute y’all he needs to catch his breath … ) You're going to cost me so much baby. I never care for my trust fund, finances or even money but I am asking the family accountant to come to me first thing in the morning for the 4th this month. I hope I have enough money ( and for some of y’all … gold … liquid gold …iykyk). I know Mr. (His dad's name) has enough money in the bank but maybe is not enough. Maybe you need more than the couple millions we have. Maybe you need more than the properties we own. Maybe you need fucking more than an oxygen regulator machine. Maybe you need a whole lung doctor. Yes… you need a nutritionist, a child psychologist … Does the baby have a tutor ? Fuck you need it. Baby just said and daddy will get it. You understand everything you want daddy get. You want a hug, a kiss, for me to count all the stars in the sky to describe how much he loves … done. You need me to buy the moon for you … done. You need me to resurrect Leonardo Devinci so he can paint you in all your glory … done. There’s nothing I would not give to you but the thing that makes my heart ache is the way I crave intimacy with you. Can’t wait to hold you in my hands. Can’t wait to touch your littles toes. Can’t wait to see your lips pout like your mama when she is done with my mess. Can’t wait to see you grow. I promise princess I will never make second ever again. I will go to every parent meeting at school, bringing you to all your ballet, opera, harp, fencing, horse ridding whatever fucking classes your mom has for you; I will never miss your school competition and I will listen to all your house show you will produce to show yourself off. I don’t care if I am in a meeting, I will always have time for you. I will always have time to remind you how much I love you, how pretty you are, how much you matter and how much of a blessing you are just because you are. Yes… just because is you, baby. Forgive daddy please. I know I am not in a position to ask you for anything especially after giving up on you for so long but if you don’t make it out of the NICU … mommy may never make it out. We both made her suffer enough.
Please baby (damm he's whimpering in pain, choking on tears) stay with us.
YOUR DADDY.
Don’t worry you are not dead or close to it ( in the physical form at least …), you are being monitored at the hospital. I am getting traumatic labor (I should do a PAC about it) not because of pain but because of blood. You may have not lost your water but blood. I see you laughing at some joke the father of your baby did. Not a single care in the world. Girl your hair is perfect, if you have a Dyson and are working to perfect your blowout … just so you know you are the blowout queen in a couple years. Skin glowing, you look so pretty pregnant. That baby was really the blessing that changed your life forever. You are wearing a 2 piece white set … boom blood. You touch and look at your man. I keep hearing : ‘’ nononono … that can’t be it. (HIS NAME !) It can’t be … my baby.
This whole letter has nothing to do with the cards so let’s dive … shall we ? (Intuition took over …)
First you guys were both extremely hardworking workers. Never had time ( and also if I may … never learn ) to create deep bonds. I see both people living in their own penthouse. Yours has more of a Victorian look and his is more modern. You may have a white cat.
You met at the work gala. I see 2 people look at each and accept y’all fate.
You start fucking. The deal was perfect. He needed a woman that was not going to get attached to his riches. You needed a man that’s not trying to fix your cold heart.
I see y’all literally planning to have sex like it’s a meeting … I think y’all use it to blow some steam annoyed by your empty life, useless parents and annoying coworkers.
At first just fucking, no aftercare, clothe back on and on the go. Then he cracks a joke and you giggle which makes you stay 5 minutes longer. Then he charms you while cooking dinner for you before you leave. Then you spend more and more time together… Now he grabs you a snack and y’all always watch a kid show. He complains about how dumb the character is but you enjoy the deep dive he’s doing without even realizing it.
You are not wrong, there's a lot of things he doesn't realize. He doesn't realize how much he craves connection. He doesn't realize how much he craves intimacy with you. When asked why ? Is it because you allow him to be ( do you realize the synchrony with the letter … anyway sometime my psychic surprise me 2 girl)
You took the pregnancy test together and he joke on the fact it was getting terminated and not to stress so much but a light a hope awaken in your heart for the first in soooo fucking long but you brush it off and went on the same page as him. Not because of him but because ‘’ you the fuck has time for a kid anyway’’ (your word not mine).
Then you heard the baby's heartbeat and you cut all contact with him. Someday at the beginning of your second trimester you text him paragraphs upon paragraph on how you kept the baby, how it was never to hurt him, but for the first time in your life you felt hope and it felt like you needed to hold on to it. That you don’t know how but you are going to make it.
He will villainize you and block you. One of your close friend is going to send them drunk voice memo in the middle of the third semester announcing him is a girl between cursing the fuck out. WAKE UP CALL FOR MISTER.
He comes back the same day you threw your private luxurious baby shower.
Some of y’all are Italian
He has a no relationship with his parents and refuses 2. Calling them by their first name while you still seek love from them.
PREVIOUS READING
2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)
3) For ALL DECEMBER get 2 readings for the price of 1 : LINK
PILE 3
Dear Red (y’all call each other by colors so anything can fit, just took that one because it came through first) ,
You are resplendent. I know you think I am exaggerating. Or maybe you think I am only talking this sweet because everything is new ( I just heard : ‘’ The talk is cheap …’’ Lol this one is sassy) but baby I can put my hand the fire that I would still go that hard for you in 30 years when you boobs going to sag, your face will wrinkles from all the time I am going to make you laugh and you have grey hair just like mine ( You : YAH! Stop that in 30 years we are not going to be this old … you dumb fuck. I swear too God this fucking skincare better work. You better stop being goofy .. I want to be a MILF. You know, that is one of my life goals … GIRL YOU BETTER TELL HIM; Me: (choking on my laugh) Now… Why am I getting yelled at ?). Can’t never forget when I saw your sexy ass that day at the beach. I did not think … yeah I can’t wait to fuck it and make her yell my name (ok can’t lie it was my very next thought) nahhh, baby I was hook by the way the sun was making your skin glow. The tattoo on your body is a telling story before my eyes but you know I never wear my damm glasses so I could not read it. Anyway the way your hair flows gracefully with the wind, the way your eyes light up basking in the sun. I knew I had to get a lil mama number. When I first hear your voice … it made me breathless (should have asked for your asthma pump but I did not know you like that at that time but that shows you how much I was starstruck … Almost I had my first asthma attack- You: BABY stop telling my damm business to this lady). Your words, your tone, the way you move with so much elegance … I just knew I hit the jackpot. I would be damm to let you go. I am so proud of having you as mine. I love spending time with you, I love spending money on you, I love kissing you, I love leaving hickeys on you, I love holding your hands, I love texting you, I love making stupid edits of us (Me : the 2014 couple edit … girl … I can’t … you boy is making me cry of laughter). I know everything happens so quickly but you know how you explain me that life is like a book with crystals and your cards with little drawing on it, ( Me : Byeeee I can't, he is trying to explain crystals and tarot cards; Him: Honestly I don’t know about all that … I love hearing her talk about it. I love hearing her talk when she’s excited. I love her voice. The perfect candidate for yap session) anyway my inner child feels so safe and alive with you. I know you feel the same baby girl. Everything is working so effortlessly that must mean we are manifesting something good ( Me : LOL ! He’s talking about the law of attraction). My mom did not even get mad when I announced to her that I got you pregnant (You : Duh she loves me stoopid). You parents loved the fact that we found each other and your dad is as eager as me to formalize our union. Honestly I would marry you anywhere at any time. I told you from the beginning that you will be my wife and I meant it but I know you want something bigger and so it’s going to have to wait. That doesn't mean I can’t surprise you with an engagement ring. Standing here with a small group of men allowed to the baby shower, I can’t help but look at you. Your skin tight black dress exposing your full breast and the slide on it showing off your thick thighs. The smile on your face while you act ratchet with your friends ( Him: Damm babe I did not know you could still throw it in a circle 8 months pregnant … you better not say you are tired tonight. I got a plan for both of us) letting yourself go not a single care in the world. This is how I want you to be forever. Not a single care in the world, always full of joy and love and helping you achieve all your goals. Baby I know, it was quick but I swear it is only the beginning of the most beautiful love story. I am going to work hard until my last breath to keep the spark going.
YOUR ONE AND ONLY MAN
HIM
Again wtf is wrong with those men. At first they did not want to work with me … now they are good ? To the point of making me over work …smh.
Yes, you guess it … it was an intuitive letter now let’s get into the card.
First I am getting PLUS SIZE ! Yes, very thick and curvy women. Now I understand why I wanted to write a bigger butt earlier … your man loves the curves baby. That’s does not mean is a fucking fetiche. Like if it is affecting health is going to ask you to fix it. News flash loser fat people can have an active life and still be fat. He never forces you to achieve any kind of weird kink.
Y’all may be giving yourself too easily to men. I am getting that since they only see you for your body. You prefer existing than being invisible (like when you were child, some of y'all have been big since childhood. You were not really bullied but very ignored. People were ashamed to associate with you). Right now I see you are at the beginning of your elf love journey. You are making healthy food choices, spending time mastering a hobby : crystal, tarot, knitting or some other heels dancing. YOU GO GIRL ! Regarding men you still give yourself easily, some even tell you they don’t like you. They just fuck you because you are easy. You accept it and let them take you to pound town anyway.
This man is going to help you tremendously in your self love journey … you have no fucking idea. You are going to glow more, stop eating your feelings, love yourself, have boundaries with your environment ( idk when the world decides that we have to give less respect to rounder people but anyways …), you will dress more provocatively and wear way more colors. Speak your mind more and be confident in yourself.
Baby say goodbye to boring sex and say hello to sex toys. Rejoice, babe rejoice you deserve it. Let me tell you something he is pleasure dom … Girl he's going to make you orgasm like it is a damm sport. You better hold on because the night is going to be long. Pussy swollen from overstimulation, ass hurting from spanking and hickeys everywhere. Not him having the audacity to ask you to ride him after all that … anyways chile let me go.
He gets so hard whenever you talk about spirituality. If you are witch prank by performing some sex magick on him, this man would be sooo proud to be your little helper while you are doing some spell.
PREVIOUS READING
2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)
3) For ALL DECEMBER get 2 readings for the price of 1 : LINK
PILE 4
Judgement (reverse), King pentacles, 4 wands (reverse), page of cups (reverse)
I put the card because I want to show that I actually try to do the reading at first but the energy aint it. Somebody had an awful pregnancy especially because of an awful baby daddy. Like he dragged you to the filth, made you cry and cheated on you. Even gave you an STD for some of y’all. Since than he calm the fuck down. He tries to come through like a nicer person but he made sure to make me understand he doesn't love you so I don't want him. I ain't wasting my time for something he can text. Then his younger self came through … boy bye with your filthy energy.
So I kept trying because I had to feed you guys … Then your future husband came through but you were still not pregnant so … it was kind of useless for me … But then I understood that y’all are actively trying and that's good enough for me.
No cards … straight intuition ( I don’t want this filthy energy to come through again)
Dear Малышка, Солнышко, Киса (ain't going to lie … I google the most popular and line it up. He ain't going to call you all that. Also I am really getting eastern Europe and I know they all have their own language but most of them somehow got colonized by Russia in some way shape or form. But if he’s from Poland then he will use his language. He’s from Lithuania, he will use his language … You catch the drift)
(before we get into anything … thick, thick accent), fuck I want you. I need you. Like all the time. You ain’t make it easy for me Малышка. One day you welcome me home with a long white robe, hair in a perfect intricate bun and makeup a bit oily. That's how I know our kid did not let you rest. You only had time to take away your clothes before you had to jump in mommy mode. Other times you tease me by sending me pictures of the lingerie and perfume you are wearing. Swear I hate the fact that I start work so early and finish so late. Oh let me not forget when you took a picture with my computer of you in your favorite brown set. The number of times you give me a blue ball should be illegal. Don’t even get me started when we were invited to the gala, you look so breathtaking … anyways you already know all that. Being a man's desire never was a foreign concept but being in love was one I had to teach you. Every day I rejoice with the idea of spending a whole lifetime loving you and our little bundle of energy. She/He never stops … just like her/his mommy. It took me a while to win over her/his heart. She/He is so protective of your heart. Almost as if he/she everyone in your heart aches when carrying him/her. That’s ok now we are 2 trying to protect you, can’t wait to be 3 humans to love on you. Until then here is the money for the new makeup you wanted to try.
Love you Малышка.
LOL ! I swear your future man has some sense of humor. I said the other one he could text you is lame nice word this one came through as a text.
Also some of you may think he is super old … nah he is around your age. Babe get out the damn book there’s handsome Slavic men your age range in the real world.
Anyways this man has tattoos and loves metal and goth music. He has moneyyy. I just don’t know the capacity but enough to put you in a luxurious condo and fund your influencer career.
Lol … I see some of y’all cringing. I don’t think you will do couple content, actually you keep your life extremely private … The only thing people know is the diamond on your finger. I am getting more skincare and makeup content creators. You have a boudoir (beauty room/content room) that’s all we see. When I channeled him, I saw you receiving his message while getting ready to film some content. At that time in your life you are still juggling a 9to5. I mean girl, you are doing it all ! Mommy, corporate baddie, content creator and trophy wife.
He has a rather dark aesthetic unlike you. You have a quite cute, pink aesthetic but love hardcore metal and goth.
He came through while I played my NIRVANA playlist.
PREVIOUS READING
2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)
3) For ALL DECEMBER get 2 readings for the price of 1 : LINK
#tarot#tarotcommunity#tarot reading#tarot cards#divination#18+ tarot#pac#pick a card#pick a picture#pick a pile#intuitive guidance#intuitive readings#inner child#future spouse tarot#future lover#future spouse#divine timing#divine guidance
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Odysseus can't help but giggle at that. More time with him seemed like a plan that he could get behind. However, his smile quickly faded as scales met smooth skin. Slightly panicked, the young prince releases Tiresias' hand and glances between the two quickly.
"Uh - Tir, your snake is on me. What do I do?" Was Erechtheus venomous? Was it planning on biting him? Oh gods, he hoped not. Think of it like an eel, he tried to calm himself, just a slithery friend. Same as the ones he could encounter in the water. He can get used to it. Definitely.
Young Siren!Ody rp/open starter! (Set in the past, of course. Little Ody will not know about future events, but the past... feel free to interact as your present self or as a past version too! Have fun!)
Genre: Fluff?
Word Count: 140
Tw Warning: None!
Odysseus’ small claws dug into the wood of his bow, ears lowered in concentration. His legs were dangled over the edge of a fallen tree, bare feet barely brushing the soft grass. The only other sound between the scraping and nature itself was a quiet melody flowing from his lips. While the lyrics were nothing short of a mumble, they still danced along the wind, carried with gentle hands to greet the ears of whoever listened nearby.
He paused for a moment to blow the pieces of clipped wood from the indentations, wiping the remaining dust out with the edge of his cape before returning to his carving: a series of designs that would not mean anything to the common eye. Forget-me-nots, feathers, scales, and a thick thread all woven together to create a partially completed design on the handle.
Tagged: @totally-penelope-and-not-a-siren @thrpr0phetuseek @jump-into-my-op3n-arms @1ceyanonhasarrived @sleepy-4n0n (let me know if you'd like to be removed - you are also not forced to interact /gen)
#“i miss my family” duo 🩵💙#<- all my mythology knowledge coming back to haunt me /silly#<- me who knows little to nothing yet loves learning anyway /silly#<- at least it’s fun!#<- it is! my mom got me a pretty big book with greek mythology for christmas :D#loving it so far - just a lot of knowlege to digest /silly#ooc; might need to send you an ask for an rp after the Ithaca saga - subdjsk#<- I was JUST telling Calliope I’m expecting an ask like that cuz I saw a post of yours /silly#<- omg thats amazing sjsbjsms i just have to figure out how to start it and hopefully not overwhelm you with rps ^^'#also we (me and Sleepy's mod) are following through with that angsy idea of an argument between Ody and Sleepy and figured Tir could show up#sort of like the projection of their soul that they did to meet Ody on the beach once; comes to visit and sees the argument#also Ody being the monster rah rah rah /silly /ref#though you're not forced of course!#ill tag you when it hits the boiling point though itll be your choice ^^#(its not showing your other tags but in response to them:)#oooh! that sounds fun /gen I hope some Hera blogs interact - I'd love to see how that'd go ^^#epic rp#epic the musical rp#epic the musical#odysseus rp#siren!odysseus#siren!odysseus rp#epic rp blog#epic ask blog#asks open
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Not Alone Part 3 (Eddie X You)
A/N: This Y/N is currently me and while out getting snacks I realized I needed to write this into existence. Maybe one day I'll meet a partner like this... If you're spending the holiday by yourself, know you aren't alone <3
Warnings: being alone for the holidays, mentions of grief, Eddie comforting
Word Count: 1056
Eddie Masterlist
Eddie heard it in your voice and saw it in your face when he talked about Christmas with his uncle.
“Yeah, he usually gets the day off so Wayne makes some burgers and we watch A Christmas Story.”
“Aw that sounds like fun!”, you grin as you take in how his face lights up.
You loved seeing how animated he got when he talked about certain things but when it came to family sometimes his face would drop. He missed his mom and told you that his dad used to ruin the holidays most of the time by being drunk or absent all together. From what he told you, it sounded like Wayne was making up for lost time and new memories that couldn’t be made since his sister-in-law passed.
“What do you guys do?”
“Oh, uh, my dad used to make a big show of Christmas and make a huge meal. Pull out all the stops.”, you giggle. “He loved giving us presents and seeing us smile.”
“Sounds about right from what you told me.”, he chuckles. “What about now? Do you guys carry on the traditions?”
“Um, yeah absolutely. My mom makes a turkey and we get to together to just talk and watch Christmas movies like you and your uncle.”
Your smile fell ever so slight as your eyes glazed over causing him to reach for your hand.
“Well, after, if you want to come over and share a burger you absolutely can. You know you’re always welcome over here, sweetheart.”
“Oh, thank you, but I don’t want to intrude.”
“You’re never intruding, babe.”
After knocking on your apartment door, he waited, hoping for your sake he read the signs wrong but as the door slowly opened his heart broke.
“Eddie? H-Hey, baby, what are you doing here?”
Your voice was gravelly telling him immediately you had been crying.
“Come on.”, he murmured as his hand gestured absently out the door. “Come on. You’re coming with me.”
“Sweetie, I can’t. I don’t want to bother you—” Before you could finish your sentence, he collected you in his arms and began heading towards his van. “Eddie, wait! I’m in my pajamas! I haven’t even done my hair.”
“You still look beautiful to me.”
***
“I can’t put my arms down!”, the little boy in the movie whines eliciting a loud cackle from Wayne as he sips from the beer can in his hand.
“You know, Y/N, my mother, Eddie’s grandma, used to dress up me and Allen in all those layers like one gust of wind would freakin’ blow us away.”
“Pfft, thankfully my mom didn’t hate me that much.”, Eddie teased as his uncle tossed him a playful glare.
You laugh as you curl up closer to the metalhead’s side and take a bite of the fry on your plate.
“Ah commercial. I’m gonna go smoke a cigarette real quick.”, Wayne announced before rising to his feet and disappearing out the door.
“How are you doing down there? You alright? Need a refill?”, Eddie asks as he cranes his neck to meet your gaze and his fingers brush your hair away from your face.
“No, I’m alright.”, you smile as you tilt up to kiss his lips. “Thank you for this.”
“No problem. You’re always welcome here, baby. You’re never a bother. I’m going to get that tattooed on you somewhere so you can look at it and always remember.”, he jokes as he pokes your side.
After you pull back to fully sit up, he does the same knowing you’re about to tell him something you struggle to say. You always pulled away slightly when you felt like you were about to tell him something heavy. He thought maybe it was your physical way of protecting yourself. As if you were expecting him to explode by your news so you wanted to be able to run and be safe.
Eddie did everything he could to make you feel physically, emotionally, and mentally safe but he understood that sometimes your mind won the internal battle over anything else.
“I haven’t spent Christmas with my family in years. When my dad died… my family struggled to cope especially my mom. She’s strong willed you know? ‘I don’t need therapy. I’m fine. I can handle it.’ But…every holiday…it’s like she forgets about me. We don’t do anything. I don’t even get a text or a phone call… Then of course my siblings have their own families with their own traditions and since my mom is in her own head she doesn’t scold them for not even calling either.
For years, I called or invited myself over…forced the family to spend time together…but these past couple of years…I can’t do it. I want them to think of me first for once. God, that’s so selfish.”, you sigh as you hide behind your hands.
“No, baby, no it’s not. Hey. Look at me.”, Eddie coos as he lightly pulls at your wrists and reaches out with his fingers to dry some of your tears that had fallen. “It’s not selfish. Like you said, you tried for so many years and it went unnoticed AND unreciprocated. You deserve to have someone put in the same effort you do and then some. Your dad always did, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Come here, sweetheart.” After moving your plates and drinks to the side, he collects you in his arms and holds you tightly to him, rocking you gently back and forth as he pets your head allowing you to cry in his embrace. “Everything’s ok, Y/N. You’re safe with me, babe.”
After a while, your tears stop as you both focus on the tv in front of you and he smiles when you laugh at the boy on the screen.
“You know I did that once.”
“Eddie, no!”, you tease as you lightly smack his chest.
“Oh, of course. Put my tongue on the pole and it got stuck. No one had to dare me or nothing. I just did it.”
“Oh my god.”
The door slams shut as Wayne wipes his boots on the mat and grins when he sees you in his nephew’s arms before taking a seat back in his chair.
“Hey, Ed. Remember your junior year of high school when you stuck your tongue to the pole?”
#eddie munson#eddie fanfic#eddie munson fluff#eddie stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things#joseph quinn#joseph quinn fluff#joseph quinn fanfiction#joseph quinn stranger things#fan fiction#eddie munson fanfic#eddie x reader#eddie x y/n#eddie x fem!reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x reader#youre not alone
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This isn't necessarily a request (unless you like the idea😍) but i am WEAK for saiki kusuo being happy and laughing, as ooc as it sounds IDC HES MY BABY AND HES HUMAN THEREOFRE I CONCLUDE THIS BOY CAN HAVE HIS DAILY DOSE OF GIGGLES.
Like, i read the fic you made on saiki finding readers thoughts funny, and i BAJDJSJAJDBS I SQUEALED.
Just imagining him breaking character, or AUDIBLY laughing, is so so sweet bro im not even joking. He'd only ever be comfortable doing it infront of his mom probably, or his close friends. EVEN SO.
Just needed to get it off my chest. 🙂 if you ever make more fics with happy/giggly saiki i might actually marry you. 🙂🙂🙂
This one goes specifically to you queen😍 and No. I’m going to marry you🫵😼
Missing You
Synopsis: Saiki starts to feel a bit weird when you are out and he realizes he misses you. Now to find a way to get you home faster…
Merry Christmas for those who celebrate! I hope you all had a great time because I sure did. Sorry my activity has been a little slow these past days have been busier than expected, so this one’s going to be a bit short. Also thank you all for the likes on my later posts! It feels so amazing to see you guys enjoying my other works. Anyways, please enjoy this tooth-rotting fluff of our beloved Saiki💕
“You on the phone”
“Saiki on the phone”
*Saiki is wearing his telepathy blocking ring in this, so he's speaking normally*
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1.2k
Everyone knew that Saiki was not a dependent person. He was the furthest thing from it. He loved his alone time- actually scratch that. He craved alone time. It was just his luck that he was always surrounded by people that caused him so much mental pain. To Saiki’s surprise, he had found someone he tolerated. Well it was more than that, but you guys were just friends, so he couldn’t say anything. He realized you were the only one that didn’t put Saiki through a problem which he had to solve. There were no long adventures when you talked to him in the halls. No using his powers to fix something you had done. He was able to act perfectly normal around you. Which is why he grew such an affection toward you. He grew so comfortable that he told you about his abilities and like he expected you took it well.
Today was one of his favorite days. Where he was able to hang around your home without a care in the world. Whatever his friends were up to outside of your house was not Saiki’s business, nor did he care about it. He had developed a routine when you text him to come over. He would arrive at your house, wear his germanium ring and let his worries wash away. It was the closest thing he could get to being a normal teenager and he was damn sure going to use his time wisely. Whenever Saiki stayed at your home, you would ask to do something, nothing crazy. Something simple like baking a batch of cookies, watching a movie on the couch, or if you were very bored, you would ask to do Saiki’s hair, which he never denied. Because, well, it was you. How could he say no?
Today was a bit different. You had mentioned you needed to run some errands and you promised you would back around noon. Saiki was fine with this since it meant he would have the house to himself. You trusted him greatly so you didn’t mind if he stuck around while you were out. When you left he gave a small nod and then the house was silent. Today was very different because something felt off. He had been reading a book on your shelf out of interest, but for the past five minutes, he had been rereading the same sentence over and over. Something was tugging in his head, but he wasn’t sure what was wrong.
Today was different because he felt so off without you in the same room as him. He checked the clock, realizing I had only been an hour and a half since you left. You wouldn’t be back until later, so Saiki had to find something to distract himself. Today was different because tried to cure his “boredom” with his powers. He turned on your kitchen sink, watching blankly as he made shapes and animals out of the liquid. When that didn’t stop the tugging, he moved onto your room. He felt slightly better resting on your bed and he played it off as being tired, but no. When he kept checking the clock to see if it was any closer to noon, he came to the horrifying conclusion that he missed you.
It was such a foreign feeling. Saiki? Wanting someone to be around him? Well that’s what happens when you sneak your way into his heart. The psychic couldn’t stand it anymore and grabbed his phone, clicking on your contact and placing the device to his ear. The small buzzing reached his ear and he felt a small fragment of relief when you answered after the second ring.
“Hey Saiki, what’s up?”
He sighed, a bit humiliated he felt this way.
“Nothing.”
“Then did you need something?”
“When are you going to be home?”
He said home like he lived here with you, but if you minded, you didn’t make it obvious.
“I should be there in maybe three hours.”
That did not help.
“Can you get here sooner?”
“Why? Is something wrong?”
“Yes.”
Might as well since there isn’t anything else getting you here faster. Saiki thought.
A small gasp sounded through the speaker, “I thought you said nothing was happening?”
“Just get here fast.”
And with that he hung up the phone.
—
You raced to your house, hoping you wouldn’t find it in ashes or hit by a tornado. Maybe you were being dramatic, but why would Saiki call you and tell you to come home quickly? It was shocking that you didn’t get pulled over at the pace you were driving home. When you pulled onto your street, you were thankful to not see any smoke, but that didn’t make you slow down. You slammed to a stop in your driveway, panic flooding your veins. You unlocked your door at lightning speed and the second it was open, you called out,”I’m here! What happened?!”
You shut the door behind you, scanning for some sort of danger, but you find your house was still intact. You were so confused. You were expecting some sort of freak accident with Saiki’s powers, but everything was in place.
“Nothing wrong.”
You whipped around, finding Saiki had teleported behind you. You blinked in confusion,”What are you talking about? You told me to get here quick and I-“ “I lied.” Your arms dropped at your side in defeat,”Then why am I here right now?” He gave you an emotionless stare,”Because I wanted you to be.”
Still in shock, you looked around, finding a scattered book on your couch. It was odd because Saiki is always the one to be neat. You turned to the boy, noticing how he was hardly making eye contact with you and he clearly wanted to say more. You recalled his words over the phone, then it all clicked.
“Saiki,” your words were barely above a whisper,”Did you miss me?”
The things that happened next were a blur. In the blink of an eye two arms were wrapping around you and you could feel Saiki’s head in the crook of your neck. He didn’t respond to your question, but this was enough to answer it. Honestly, you were a bit nervous. Was this really the same Saiki? The one who barely let people stand close to him, was holding onto you like a lifeline. You felt a long sigh escape his lips and instinctively you reached one hand up to rest in his pink hair and the other embracing him over his shoulder.
“I didn’t know how else to get you here.” He confessed gently, making your heart melt,”You could have just asked, Kusuo.” He tucked himself more into your neck, almost hiding his face from you,”But you were busy.” You rolled your eyes, “It was just getting groceries, I would have dropped everything if I knew you wanted me here.”
Saiki didn’t know how to respond, instead he used his teleportation to take you both to your room. You let out a grunt as you back hit your mattress, but your attention changed to the boy resting on you. He looked so at peace and you couldn’t believe this was still the same person. (It’s not like you were complaining.) As you softly played with his pink hair, a small idea popped into your head. Maybe I should go out more often if this is what I get to come home too…
#saiki fluff#saiki k x reader#I love feeding y’all#cuddles#he’s so babygirl#i miss you#fanfic writing#the disastrous life of saiki k.#kusou saiki#saiki x reader#kusuo saiki#comfort#fluff#so so fluffy#@ink-stainedkiss#tooth rotting fluff#writers on tumblr#x reader#ooc post#but i need this#oneshot
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There’s no way Jayce came out of the fucking Infection Dimension perfectly healthy except for his leg (and his mental health)
He had an open wound on his back before he even went in!! and then the one we saw on his leg! (which was broken in fucking half!!) like did y’all see how thick the fog was?? He was breathing that shit in for months!! That man was probably dying!!!
#we should have seen him take a pause in his speech to cough for like thirty minutes#what kind of fucked up cocktail of gas was in that fog bro#like The Gray and every other drug smog gas from the factory’s mixed together with fucking magic#how much crazier would the Jayvik parallels be if Jayce had coughed up blood at some point#still crying over how much weight he lost#my baby…#did he even get to see his mom before he and Vik disappeared?#did he get to hug her?#tell her he was sorry and that he loved her?#did she get to make him his first hot meal in months?#did she hold him while he cried?#did she even know he was back before he was gone again?#imagine being Ximena and your son shows up at your door after being missing for months over half a year#and he’s lost weight his hair is grown and unkempt and he’s covered in scars and he has a brace on his leg which is clearly injured#and he cries in your arms when you hug him like he hasn’t since he was seven#and you tell him to come in to eat to tell you what happened and if he’s okay and he tries but none of it really makes since to you except#the grief. the grief you can understand you lost your partner after all you know what that kind of grief looks like#and after you’ve feed him and held him and took care of him he leaves again to try and save his partner and then you never see him again#and you’ll never know what happened to him and his partner#but all you can hope for was that he was able to save him and where ever they are their together#I am spiraling over Ximena Talis right now in the tags of my mostly jokey post#I love the Talis’ so much#jayce talis#ximena talis#I’m tagging her because of the tags#it is 11 at night I have a cold and I am spiraling about the Talis’ right now#and just like Jayce should have been I am coughing like there’s no tomorrow
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All other sagas done in previous or future posts
Underworld Saga
this is probably my favorite saga. and also probably one of the most important, fundamentally. i think i filled five notebook pages on these three songs.
The Underworld
“I no longer dream” what my friend was once saying about how the screams he hears are real since he’s no heard them and knows what they sound like
“Past seems close behind” it’s catching up to him
Ough his crew asking “when does a man become a monster”
Ok so whatever the spirits are saying is the last thing they thought, meaning Odysseus’ crew considered him a monster, Polites is still upbeat and bright, his mom will wait for him
“Nothing is as it seems” possible that he’s just hallucinating this OR he doesn’t want to believe any of it.
I’m insane about Mr. Jorge Rivera-Herrans’ voice acting
Reminder! Greet the world with open arms! Don’t turn evil!
I know he’s not evil
HIS MOM
The realization finally hitting him that he’s been gone twelve years he’s lost and missed out on so much and he needs to get home
I’m going to blow up
Just. like. The beginning of realization
I’m going to blow up!!!!!!!!
No Longer You
“There is a world where I help you get home, but that’s not a world I know” opening us up to that no longer you idea
“Past romance” past is really interesting because he’s still married but it connects to the no longer you part
“Sacrifice of man” Previous sacrifices and also warning of future sacrifice
“Portrayal of betrayal” Scylla and Thunder bringer, but also in mutiny. Also when the wind bag was opened.
“Brother’s final stand” Eurylochus in mutiny, maybe Polites in Survive
“On the brink of death” well yes
“Man who gets to make it home alive/but it’s no longer you” he’s changed and lost so much that there’s like no way he’ll ever be the same king and husband and father. Also in the odyssey story Odysseus has to disguise himself as an old man so he can win back his wife
He also kills all the suitors i hope we get to see that
Denial is a river in Egypt your men are doomed
“Palace covered in red” please please please be the suitors dying but also those suitors are violent in general (I am so grateful my prayers were answered)
“I see a wife with a man who is haunting/a man with a trail of bodies” “WHO”
a) he’s haunting her. His leaving haunts her because of the men in her house, telemachus and his whole “no dad” thing, and just not having your husband around. His absence affects her just as greatly as it does him
b) odysseus doesn’t realize it’s him. He’s got the trail of bodies. He’s so absorbed by the thought of penelope.
“Past romance” [again] oooohhh their marriage is fucked. It’s so different now
Backing vocals of future things [“Siren’s call, Scylla’s throat, mutiny, lightning bolt, Poseidon, kill the suitors for love”]
That’s so cool I’m INSANE
I hate him
Monster
“How has everything been turned against us” …hmm. I wonder.
“Do I need to change” YOU ALREADY HAVE but now he’s considering doing it on purpose
You’re in the underworld of course the souls are around you
“I’m the only one whose line I haven’t crossed” and you’ll keep crossing them!
“What if the greatest threat we’ll find across the sea/Is me” BLOW UP [he’s like rethinking but also plotting? Like what if he was the biggest danger?]
Remember remember
“Too kind to foes but a monster to ourselves” he’s realizing he’s realizing he’s self aware he’s going to treat his men unfairly
All the foes he’s encountered are all doing what they can to protect those they love and odysseus is starting to see the similarities between them [and also the ones he wants to protect gets fewer until it’s just him almost [because he needs to see his wife and son so he needs to live]]
Plotting to keep his men safer by being more cruel
Anything for them
He’s willing to lose all morals in order to get home and keep as many people alive as possible but accidentally loses those base morals in the process of doing so
The animation i watched in the playlist i found showed a hallucination of Penelope taking the headband Odysseus took from Polites and that’s such a cool detail [throwing away the morals of being kind and keeping an open mind all for his wife]
I based my current DnD character off this song.
I’m so insane about the Ithaca saga do you tumblr people want to hear my full analysis of each song to celebrate
#epic the underworld saga#epic the musical#analysis#somebody sedate me#Mr Jorge Rivera herrans when I get you#song analysis#does this make sense
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i had so much fun last night omg
#the dragon's parade!!!#cause it's the great dragon weekend here in kraków now#so we finally went out with friends#i always miss those losers we don't really see each other often but i love them sm#then we went to drink at my bestie's place & he finally told them he's gay (i was the only one in the group who knew)#i'm proud of him tbh#also it's so funny cause our friend said she was always intrigued by our relationship#and she was like 99% sure there was something going on between me & him shdhhdhdh#and i can't blame her cause she's not the only person#my mom keeps asking me if he's REALLY gay like at least once a week#also his parents keep asking him about me & they say i'm pretty & that MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON HERE#like... no#hell no#he's my little brother i would fucking murder everyone who ever tries to hurt him#but no that's it hdhdhdhdh#i never talk about those kind of stuff so i'm not sure if he knows but i think he knows (i hope he knows)#it's so funny tho i just think we give the same kind of energy#so when people see us together there's this weird kind of chemistry there but like... not in a romantic way#more in a “hey this dude knows all of my secrets & i know all of his as well” kind of way#idk can't explain i'm happy tho & kinda relieved at the same time cause i don't really like secrets#anyway yesterday was fuuuuun <3#i came back home around 5am i'm exhausted#please give me all the coffee in the world#but sincerely can you hear me?*
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I could cry
#was sooo cloudy here#but my girlfriends mom sent me legitimately 14 pictures in a row of her view#she knows I love them and it was really fucking cute#so went to find them#wasn’t as bright as they appear but I was so happy#my dad and I have talked about going to Iceland to see them he loves them too#if it was brighter I would’ve woken him up last night but where I live you couldn’t see em#found this spot and there was a girl by herself watching on a rock with a blanket and her camera#we left when she did no girl left behind#especially not in a pitch black parking lot at 1:30am#some peoples views were nuts! her moms windows were glowing pink I would’ve been actually crying#also always feels good to be thought about and reminded that you are#I’ll see it again someday I wanna see it with my dad#he’s seen it up in the allagash in maine when he was younger#and the full moon up there is insane too he’s talked about it#he has the best stories#anyways I'm so happy so many people got to see it#and I hope if you missed it you get to see it in the future#so special 🖤🖤#northern lights#aurora borealis#mine
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will be cutting out all processed sugars. thank you and pls wish me luck
#tp#listen i already quit chips for a year and it's been okay so this is the next step lesgedit#i mean the only thing is im obsessed with iced tea and ice cream so yeah...... hmm#will have to make my own iced teas from peaches and call it a day ig#we'll see#good thing is i love love love fruits so they'll do well as substitutes i believe#esp peaches#y'all have no idea how monumental me quitting iced tea will be. you do not ever catch me without iced tea in stock. ever.#in my bottle or bought in two liter boxes every day or in cans upon cans. twas an addiction i feel lightheaded#this is awful but worth it you'll see i'll be so healthy#this is me forcing myself to be healthy bc i dont eat out and only eat homecooked meals BUT the catch is my mom or someone else has to cook#otherwise i'll just starve ig OR survive on iced tea. just cannot be bothered to even make instant ramen for the life of me#SO!! now that my alternative is gone and i moved back home for a month im hoping i'll see good results in my health shdhfhfhfh#and maybe i'll get my four packs back 😞💔 miss me my ripped abs during covid y'all i was a muscle mother
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oh man no wonder i'm missing my little guys recently. we haven't seen kaeya in almost a year
#personal stuff#delete later#a month from now marks one year since his hangout....#head in hands.... kaeya come back i miss you#yes i Know he has a hangout i can replay at any time that also has his brother in it. not the same#diluc showed up back in march with his normalguysona and kaeya sent a letter but it's just not the same...#i miss the ragbros insanity that 2.8 and 3.1 inflicted upon me. i miss bouncing off the walls thinking about them and their new lore#can they come back and do something that makes me relive that sometime soon. please. for me#not sure who's going to be in the summer event this year. probably not going to be either of them but can it be Someone i care abt#for the most part they have been? like 1.6 was THE found family slash siblings vacation#2.8 was my girlie fischl and also hidden strife#then 3.8 was kaeya and klee and collei and kokomi#come on let's keep up this energy. this will be THE mondstadt update TRUST#like come onn venti and lisa both told us to come back to mondstadt before setting off for somewhere new......#like at this point i have very little hope for mondstadt character story quest 2. i used to hope for it w every update but now it's like#who fucking knows. we'll wait until snezhnaya i guess. that's when venti and diluc will probably be relevant again#jean miiight get a second one after natlan depending on what happens to varka's expedition? since her mom is there i think#manifesting a second razor quest then too. we know what the rifthounds are now + varka coming back would be a good setup#and klee might get one whenever we meet alice. i have my thoughts but idk when Exactly that'll be#but lisa's thing probably won't be relevant for a while either considering its connection to the abyss order#and kaeya and albedo... yeah.#but like. i'd love to see amber go to liyue and find her grandpa or something :(#and like. fuck it i would love to see a second xiangling quest too.
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I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself
#whenever my mom asks if i have love news of my own while we're talking about my sister's newest catch and i say no#i hope she doesn't feel pity because like. this is the life that i choose. my sister's ex boyfriends were enough for ME even#and i only met a handful of them personally but heard more than enough shit about them#i just always think i'm only flirting with some guys only to never talk to them again or ghost them because it's fun#fat girl who's always been seen as ugly by other people gets to flirt with good looking people is the ultimate ego boost arc#if i ever date anyone seriously again it better be true love and end in kids and marriage until death or i'll live as a hermit#until that happens tho...... life is a party i don't wanna miss a thing break some men's heart get revenge yolo etc etc#also the thought of actively dating freaks me out. if i meet someone and we tolerate each other long term that's good#but dating apps or going on dates with several people and deciding who's the best like on the bachelorette?? death first#plus i lowkey don't like men as a concept. at least the type i've dated. i guess you could say my last ex traumatized me hahaha 👍🏻 (🔨🔨)#i think i'm too young to be in a committed relationship anyway. or even to seek getting into one. there are much more important things rn#i know former classmates my age are having kids or getting married but idgaf the one who got engaged last year has been with him for 7 year#which is a decent time tbh you change quite a bit during that time and if it feels right why not#but i can't wrap my head around searching for a relationship when you don't even have a stable job and know what else you want in life#rambling again sorryyyy but yeah proud single here and i'm not saying this out of spite because i genuinely enjoy it#all relationships i've been in were so draining (tbf they were long distance too) and got me at rock bottom and had me filled with regret#also these men can be so controlling and jealous when you just wanna go out with friends while they do whatever they want too#but when you say you don't want a jealous partner they think that's a free pass for them to cheat like what the actual fuck#do you see the difference between being unnecessarily jealous when you hang out with friends and being rightfully jealous when they cheat??#at this point idk what to say. i'm very entertained by my friends' dating journeys but that couldn't be me#all the gossip i provide for them is which people i flirted with for the ego and who i ghosted and who ghosted me#mel talks
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why the fuck do i miss pigeons
#don't ask me i am going thru it today#ebhehbbehbhebhabh#i miss pigeons dude#oooh the poor little domesticed cuties#kate rambles from here#this is a small detail of the feeling i am feeling#like post leaving nyc is wrecking havoc on my psyche#i don't want to be in the fucking great plains#a few irls don't understand my want for city life- and i didn't know it was this bad until staying there for 4 days-#but my mom's whole family is from the city- i just feel so at home there- and everything i've inherited that way is in my blood#and i just wanna bawl my eyes out#i have been quite a bit but like ik i have a goal now- to move into the city- i've always had that goal to at least move to the city near m#but like nyc was like being somewhere i felt i wanted- it's not that i'm looking to make it big- i miss the noise the water and pigeons#around here you'll hear the occasional car go by- and crickets- i miss the city lights- i keep crying about it for so many reasons but#i just don't know how to actually express it?#because it's such an odd feeling for me to feel? because if yknow me well- i love being at home- i hate sleeping somewhere else-#taking a trip down south this last christmas- i couldn't stand the quiet- it's quieter the more south you go and i can't do this#i've always wanted to leave my small town but ?? like actually being somewhere that has felt home has been unattainable bc every#where in oh hasn't been home... and for once i felt like i could do this- and having to return here- just made me break down and cry#maybe it's the person i live with- that makes me wish to leave- but that's not the full truth- idk maybe a good nap will help#kate rambles#i have a life goal now but i wish i could do it now- i hope sooner rather than later i'll at least live in the city#i've been happily living but now i have a direction i wish to run towards- and i'm gonna chase after it#sure i miss seeing tbz i loved seeing them- but it's not even post concert depression- if that makes sense?#which it doesn't make sense- because for mx it was only pcd- but for nyc it's missing the city... and it feels awful#pls ignore this i just needed to be frustrated somewhere#ig knowing what i'm missing- i can finally work on filling that spot huh? i guess that's what i'll be doing#(also vv small point but the fact that one of the people i live with- refuses to ever visit nyc again- is so comforting to me)#pls don't send me an ask about this i just needed to ramble and i haven't caught up on my daily journal yet to do so- so this is here
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hheeeuuurrgghppbbtttt
#my dad messaged me today sayin’ he hopes to see me soon and it honestly ruined my day luke#like please leave me alone ://////#then some general normal Every Day BS happened at work and I just had to dip I almost walked off the job no word to my sups#Just makes me think of my mom which#i feel more justified after it I guess ‘cause she’s the one who allegedly approves the messages her husband sent me when we had our fight#tbh life is better w/o her messaging me daily like I spent basically all of 2023#wanting to cut her off and she gave me even the lightest reason to do it so i did and it’s been nice#the pointless guilt I felt for not wanting to see my family has turned into general resentment and annoyance#i don’t even miss her or him like I straight up just don’t want to see my blood relatives they’re not family to me they’re just people#i happen to share genes with like if you really wanted to build a relationship with the person#you forced into this stupid world then maybe you shouldn’t have been such insufferable assholes for the first 18 years#i spent most of my conversations with them over the phone last year basically just saying life sucks and that i want to kill myself#I need them to feel bad for conceiving me i need them to regret it#my cousin Aaron has the right idea tbh like last I heard he wasn’t talking to my uncle or anyone w/ blood relations really#following in his footsteps. I legit just got so full of rage and frustration when my dad messaged me it’s been like 3 weeks since we spoke#it was so obvious that I didn’t like my mom growing up everyone knew it and berated me for it like how am i supposed to accept that?#How am I supposed to take the hate and anger she exhibit and put out there in that unhappy home#and turn the hate and anger her and her family felt towards me for not loving her#and turn that into love? How am I supposed to turn unending anger and hatred and bitterness and just be like ‘yeah i love you’#I love my parents in the sense that I am familiar w/ them and they have had a constant presence in my life up this point and when I was like#8y/o I had some pretty good times w/ my dad that were DIRECTLY related to my mom being out of the house#my mom was just so abusive to that man for 20+ years#and he took the love I had for him and made me hate him by just shoving jesus down my throat#We used to have CONVERSATIONS he & I but then he got his head stuck so far up his ass that he couldn’t see#how he was just ruining everything. Me: Hey so this thing thats goin on?#him: haha yeah that thing thats been goin on!! You know what tho#[starts pitching JC to me again]#that was all I could get from him from 12-18/19#he killed whatever relationship we had together and now it’s a decade later and I have no interest in talking to him#I don’t care to try and rebuild. I don’t want to rebuild anything with him I don’t want him to want that either
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.
#this month was kinda bad tbh#my father moved with his parents and we can’t meet#weather is so hot#all my friends live a little far to me and bus became so expensive i can’t go and see them 😭#still not over yks stress because we are waiting for results for it 😫#my body is reacting to stress so bad and i’m trying to be gentle with myself 🥹💗#i can’t even sleep 😟#two days ago apparently i woke up and told my mom pls check the results i don’t want to mnxdkxjdk i don’t even remember it#also i missed being here here#and interacting with mutuals <3#ALSOO i’m sorry for not doing the tag games i’m just not in a good place rn#i usually just scroll and not think about anything#love you 🫶 i hope everyone is doing great 💞#take care and drink water!! <3#☆
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Vent
Tw: sewerslide and SH
#....i really miss being 4yrs without a care in the world and my family loved each other so purely#fuck its not fair that she does this to me#im shaking over how upset this is making me#i cant always be the one at fault thats IMPOSSIBLE and not fair#she sees it as im lazy n dont like being told to do stuff#i see it as she literally picks on me everytime her health anxiety gets to her or her fiance......i watch it happen like fuckin clockworm#but im the bad guy im the lazy emotional youngest sibling whos life was sooooooo perfect cus mom n dad treated me different#I WAS HIGHLY AUTISTIC#im sorry that you wanna feel special so you gotta pretend my life was just so great cus i got extra attention#I NEEDED EXTRA ATTENTION#Dad did his best to make us all feel equal and you know thst#i du no im jjst fucking done with the littlw comments#i read over my dads shoulder so i already knew but my sister brought up what he said to her before sending me here since the waters broke#he said “please dont say anything to her she has enough on her plate”#and she just got all snippy with me about it#....i literally came to your house with 3 big slashes on my arm when do i get a fucking break from the picking????#next time ill do both my arms maybe then shell have nice emptions for me#im literally frozen in my seat sweating cus of how upset im trying not to bw#its very rare she has a soft moment with me and she completely ignores my scars or my mental health#shes now crying in the other room......#like....i dont even know what to do abymore its not fair im always the bad guy#i shouldnt have to deal with a shitty attitude ontop of the other stuff i got going on#its like shes allowed to stab me but i even react to the pain suddenly im a horrible person#its times like these i just wanna end myself cus im tired of trying so hard and having no one to unmask with#im constantly performing for other people only to not get the same energy back im SO tired#update: i escaped#i love my sister but when shes struggling she acts bitchy towards me and thats not fair#literally did the oppisite of what my dad asked her lmao#i bet she stopped crying and is now finding any lil mistake to bitch about#now im blasting sad music into my ears in hopes of not spiraling
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Simon hated the tapping out ceremony. Ever since he first had to partake in one, he despised it. With no family and very few friends, he was usually the last on the field, waiting until one of his superiors would tap him out. But he couldn’t skip them either.
So there he was. The sun was beating down on the hundreds of soldiers lined up in neat little rows, standing at attention while they waited for their loved ones. And they came quickly. One soldier after the other was tapped out by their parents, siblings, spouse, and sometimes even children. But he stayed still, watching the happy reunions out of the corner of his eyes. Watching the tears and hugs and kisses. He envied the others; he was jealous of what they had, and he didn’t. But Simon had always been good at following orders, so he didn’t move, barely even blinked as he was surrounded by happiness, while he drowned in his own sorrow.
After an hour, there was only one other soldier left. Simon had barely interacted with him, but he knew his face. And just when Simon thought he wouldn’t be the only one without someone to tap him out this time, a crowd of eight people moved toward the soldier. At the front was an older-looking woman, her brown hair streaked with grey and lines on her face, indicating her age. Around her were people of all ages and genders.
“My son!” The woman let out a sob as she finally threw her arms around the soldier’s neck, causing the man to chuckle, as he hugged her back. “I missed you too, mama.”
One by one, he talked to the people surrounding him, hugged them, and kissed them. Simon couldn’t help but watch, bile rising in his throat as jealousy threatened to overtake him. And as he watched, he couldn’t help but imagine himself in the soldier’s stead. Surrounded by a happy, loud, and loving family. People who were happy to see him. Nowadays, the only people he could call family were the guys from the 141, and they were away on a mission. Still, in his mind, the scene played out. His mother, smiling, rushing toward him. Followed by his brother and his wife, carrying his nephew.
The daydream was interrupted by someone walking toward him. He expected it to be his superior, there to finally release him from the nightmare. But it wasn’t.
A young woman took timid steps in his direction. Her eyes, bright but filled with sadness. Not her own sadness, though, it was sadness she felt for him. He didn’t react, didn’t move, didn’t blink. She came to a stop in front of him, gazing up with a frown.
“Is someone coming?” Simon hesitated before giving an almost invisible shake of his head. She gasped, it was quiet and he barely heard it, but he felt it. In every bone, he felt her sadness and the sorrow she carried for him. Slowly, as if not to startle him, she lifted her hand, until it was inches away from his chest. “Is…is this okay?” When he gave a slight nod, she gently pressed her hand against his chest, finally tapping him out.
A breath he didn’t realize he had been holding escaped him as he finally turned to properly look at the woman. She was still gazing up at him, a soft smile now replacing the frown on her face.
“Thank you.” She nodded in response before glancing back at her family. When she looked back at Simon, she looked determined. “We’re going out to eat dinner if you’d like to join us?” Simon was about to decline when someone called out to him.
“Oi! Ghost!” He looked up and saw the soldier, now facing him, an arm wrapped around his mother’s shoulder. “Let’s go; my mom says dinner’s on us!” Without waiting for a response, he turned around and started walking toward the car park, his entire family in tow. Simon kept looking after him until a soft, small hand slipped into his own. He glanced down and found the woman smiling up at him.
“Come, my mom doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.” And with those words, the woman gently led him to follow her family.
Part 2
A/N: This will be a two-parter. I hope you liked it!
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