#tbh life is better w/o her messaging me daily like I spent basically all of 2023
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hheeeuuurrgghppbbtttt
#my dad messaged me today sayin’ he hopes to see me soon and it honestly ruined my day luke#like please leave me alone ://////#then some general normal Every Day BS happened at work and I just had to dip I almost walked off the job no word to my sups#Just makes me think of my mom which#i feel more justified after it I guess ‘cause she’s the one who allegedly approves the messages her husband sent me when we had our fight#tbh life is better w/o her messaging me daily like I spent basically all of 2023#wanting to cut her off and she gave me even the lightest reason to do it so i did and it’s been nice#the pointless guilt I felt for not wanting to see my family has turned into general resentment and annoyance#i don’t even miss her or him like I straight up just don’t want to see my blood relatives they’re not family to me they’re just people#i happen to share genes with like if you really wanted to build a relationship with the person#you forced into this stupid world then maybe you shouldn’t have been such insufferable assholes for the first 18 years#i spent most of my conversations with them over the phone last year basically just saying life sucks and that i want to kill myself#I need them to feel bad for conceiving me i need them to regret it#my cousin Aaron has the right idea tbh like last I heard he wasn’t talking to my uncle or anyone w/ blood relations really#following in his footsteps. I legit just got so full of rage and frustration when my dad messaged me it’s been like 3 weeks since we spoke#it was so obvious that I didn’t like my mom growing up everyone knew it and berated me for it like how am i supposed to accept that?#How am I supposed to take the hate and anger she exhibit and put out there in that unhappy home#and turn the hate and anger her and her family felt towards me for not loving her#and turn that into love? How am I supposed to turn unending anger and hatred and bitterness and just be like ‘yeah i love you’#I love my parents in the sense that I am familiar w/ them and they have had a constant presence in my life up this point and when I was like#8y/o I had some pretty good times w/ my dad that were DIRECTLY related to my mom being out of the house#my mom was just so abusive to that man for 20+ years#and he took the love I had for him and made me hate him by just shoving jesus down my throat#We used to have CONVERSATIONS he & I but then he got his head stuck so far up his ass that he couldn’t see#how he was just ruining everything. Me: Hey so this thing thats goin on?#him: haha yeah that thing thats been goin on!! You know what tho#[starts pitching JC to me again]#that was all I could get from him from 12-18/19#he killed whatever relationship we had together and now it’s a decade later and I have no interest in talking to him#I don’t care to try and rebuild. I don’t want to rebuild anything with him I don’t want him to want that either
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Episode 1: “Autumn you are a crazy fucked up host” - Giraffez
AHHHHHHH AUTUMNS WORLD HI!!!!!! THIS CAST IS AMAZING IM SO EXCITED AND SCARED!!! JINX YES!! AND 4 KILI PEOPLE INCLUDING LILY?? cant wait !!!
Omg! first day and im placed on the Eener tribe <3 love the way it sounds like an alarm so much ! xo love the tribe divisions and love my tribe mates! super excited to get to know them more, and reconnect with others :)
https://youtu.be/9P1GrFrTHnQ
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it’s the way i keep putting my birthday as the date...as if this is a doctors office and not autumns world...I DONT NEED NO DOCTOR THO I AM CURED IN AUTUMNS WORLD ‼️‼️‼️ anyways manifesting a jinx win 🕯 hi my name is jinx and i am the winner of tumblr survivor 103: autumns world. i keep telling myself that. it’s okay to be hungry for the win like i am this time. i can’t let it blind me but it’s okay! it’s okay to say i’m gonna win! if i fail, it’s not smth i haven’t done before. but. im taking a page from autumns book and speaking it into existence. my name is jinx clementine and i WILL BE the winner of tumblr survivor 103: autumns world. *uptown funk vc* don’t believe me just WATCH ‼️
It feels absolutely insane to be back. I feel like I’m a bit oversaturated tbh
I can’t believe this cast. Packed with icons. So many people from Kilimanjaro?? I’m just like??? I’m just so excited to play and hope that our team does great. I just don’t want to lose cause I really don’t want to vote any of these other people out!
when i’m the annoying overactive player... i keep putting my birthday as the month/day/year 😭 so watch out for that. anyways, important announcement: the only song i ever listen to is potential breakup song by aly & aj. i never listen to anything else. if i feel like listening to music that’s what i listen to. it’s been on repeat since 2007. my itunes consists of 1 song, potential breakup song by aly & aj, and the play count is somewhere around 50,000 plays. if you ever see me listening to music, don’t even ask what song i’m listening to, because you know it’s potential breakup song by aly & aj, so why would you even ask
I don't give one fucks, two fucks, red fucks, or blue fucks, I'm gonna put all my effort and energy into this season. I have a point to prove, not to just myself, but to every person who has doubted me in any way. The biggest concern I have is meta gaming, alot of it but its going to be okay. Chris and Jinx? Vibing. Mikki and Captain? that group chat was made 5 minutes into the game. Monty and Lily C are gonna be vibing since they're winners. Lily O and I played fr*nce, but that's... no good. I'm going to just let go and have a great time. This is Autumn's World, and sometimes, we all need to just relax and let nature take its course
Autumn you are a crazy fucked up host....... Legit i was like oh come in have some fun then BOOM FUCKING MESOPOTAMIA FLASH BACK OUT THE GATE so sevice to say I'm nervous as hell about this challenge i so don't want to get voted out first .....or on the same challenge as before so even if we do have to go to tribal hopefully the winning tribe will take pitty on me and you know give me safety
feeling delusional for writing what i wrote about winning 😭🌚 LIKE DKKDKDKDKDKDDKDKKD IM TRYING TO BE MY BEST POSSIBLE SELF AND APPARENTLY THAT FACILITATES DELUSION GOOD NIGHT
https://youtu.be/FJM9fQW7evY
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autumn not letting me in the game at first bc i’m mixed. i can hear my ancestors screaming
Yknow I’m not exactly thrilled that the song decision was made without everyone being present but like my stupid night shifts make it completely understandable at the same time. On that topic, though. Party in the USA for our music video, hmm. Not even bleach is that basic.
good morning it’s day 2 in autumn’s world and i don’t feel any better about the whites. ps. daily i love monty
https://youtu.be/DAXdEjZW1mc
https://photos.app.goo.gl/mQ3vUbaX1nEnsp2Z9
My tribe has a varying amount of timezones which makes it harder to connect with them socially as I cannot PM them as much as I would like to. Additionally, I am finding it difficult to message them because I have to work from 8 to 5 everyday of the week. This sucks because I know I can at least make people like me in the per-merge enough to keep me. However, I can no longer reliably use this strategy. I just have to hope others are way more inactive than me and that my tribe somehow wins immunity. On that note, I am really liking that Mikki and Benj took a leadership role in the tribe. So, they are definitely people I want to keep on this tribe. It would have to be Blake or Khalid that gets the target from me. We'll see how talking to them goes before results.
I LOVE THIS GAME!!!!!!! Ok so starting with my tribe:
Mikki - ABSOLUTELY THE FAV!!! We got along right away on day 1 and are def the closest in timezones which is so great to have someone like that. Sooo fun and easy to talk to really wanna be #1 allies. I know shes amazing at orgs and won and probs is getting along well with everyone but who cares i wanna play w her!!!! The main thing is too have fun and i just know it will be with Mikki
Captain - Also amazing!!! Super active in helping with the challenge and great personally love that hes gonna do english teaching which is smth i was looking into and also in a closer time zone to me and had fun discussing stuff w him so far!!
Blake - We played Kili together!! Shoutout Autumn for getting 4 Kilis back omg. I was on a tribe with Blake and Autumn together for like 2 rounds and we did vote together once so have some positive history at least hes a bit more quiet compared to the others but hes cool and i think we could do good!
Raffy - Iconic parts in the video challenge and also fun so far!! Havent talked as much as the above 3 but still feeling good about him!
Khalid - Seems nice and friendly but we havent messaged yet and no clue if he will do his lines in the music video :O we'll see But overall love my tribe and the overall cast. LILY THE KILI WINNER QUEEN???????? Cant believe shes back would be so awesome to play w her again since last time we were mainly on opposite sides. JINX MY ONE MONTE FRIEND??? YES!! SO excited i hope we get to tribe swap together since in Monte we werent that close and i voted them off i know such a disgrace but since then we have become more friends so would love to play together!! Also played w Chips in Kili and were sort of friends! Chris we are hosting a season together but i think itll be cancelled tbh no ones applying and we dont know each other at all outside of that but i loved his intro and just started getting into agatha christie literally ordered 2 of her books a few weeks ago sdhksa cant believe he mentioned her in his intro so super excited to properly meet him. Joey we are sorta friends but i voted him out recently in other game so dunno how he feels abt me!! Everyone else i dont really know but will meet some soon surely WOOO AUTUMNS WORLD
SO THE GAME JUST STARTED so there's not really that much to spill right now but I do really enjoy my tribe. I have my bestie captain who I will protect as much as I possibly can. and I've spent all day yesterday and today talking to benj who I LOVE so so so much. I feel so good with him. SO UM ASAHJSHSJAJHASHJAS IM ON THE SAME TRIBE AS RAFFY WHO UM ASHJSAHASHJ I played with once before where I was super chaotic and I literally fought him (playfully) and it was so messy and chaotic and stupid BUT I DIDN'T RECOGNISE HIM AND HE DIDN'T REMEMBER ME SO WE JSUT WERE LIKE "nice to meet you" and I didn't realise until later and idk if he knows yet and I am not bringing it up COS LIKE IDK I DON'T WANT IT TO GET WEIRD AND MAYBE HE DOESN'T REMEMBER BUT MAYBE HE DOES IDK but besides that I love him a lot he's so fun and his videos for our music video are AMAZING he's so full of life. Khalid hasn't been on much but I really enjoy his energy when he is. he's so cool and lovely. Blake is nice!!!!! but I can't help but feel my instincts being like WATCH HIM. like something inside me is saying beware of this white man.LIKE IDK WHAT IT IS but I just get instincts in games with people sometimes where I just feel like unsettled??? and that's how I feel right now. we're all in different timezones so socialising is the opposite of overwhelming. I've never had a game so quiet in the beginning like this before. but I've never played survivor either. I think I might be okay??? if we went to tribal but I really don't want us to go to tribal pls....
JINX IS OVER ON THE TUA TRIBE BTW and I'm sitting here with grabby hands. I wanna play with them so bad and just get to have our redemption arc because we didn't play on the same side the first time we played so LET ME HAVE THIS I just wanna play with them and have fun with them but they are so far away :((((
I'm so excited overall tho the whole cast looks amazing and I'm having fun so far. this challenge has been a blast and. a great way to bond with everyone. I feel so close to benj already. I really love him a lot. so I'm having a good time yes ashjshajjahs YAY
oh and I also did my tarot and idk where things are going to go exactly but I'm very :eyes: raffy got the tower and Khalid got the devil....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
also I wanna play with women at some point PLS PLS I haven't been this surrounded by men since I was a closeted 15 year old surrounded by posters of Robert Pattinson and Taylor lautner
Benj just submitted his version of the music video and it is..... bad. I don't know why Mikki filmed vertically? Like, I feel like that's the first rule of music videos? You have to always film horizontally. Also, some of these people's energies were not giving at all. The beginning waking up part was cute though. It's just.... these people aren't giving what they think they're giving is all I'm saying. And Benj put this weird filter on all my videos that makes it hard to see what's actually going on tbh. Anyways, time to kick the socializing into high gear so as to not get voted out! Or pray that Mikki's version of the video is better
hello autumn's world.. this is captain's speaking. sorry i'm one day late to this confessional booth stuff but i'm here and i'm ready to give u some tea. *ahem* thanks jarod for these questions.
1. How do you feel about your starting team? Anyone you are happy/upset to see? OOOOH i feel like my team is very CUTE! like i didn't think autumn was gonna put me and mikki in the same tribe lmao .. i thought it was gonna be divided from ur race and u know mikki is white and i'm not. ANYWAYS, im happy to see mikki in my team of course. thats my ride or die and i know i'm gonna have someone i can 100% trust no matter what for sure. but blake knows for sure that mikki and i are very close so thats gonna be interesting. which leads to the next part, i'm kinda eh with blake in my tribe thats only because our previous experience in CoW so i just hope that its gonna be better here this time *prays*.. for others, i don't know them before so i'm excited to get to know them!!!
2. Who are you most excited to play with on the cast? Most afraid of? oh of course mikki for sure and another person is geekoffilm cause u know we're like besties besties and i love both of them so much. most afraid of... probably monty tbh. they tried to gun for me/mikki(/cora) in jarod's mini so i think they know that mikki and i are gonna be tight so i'm just gonna have to keep an eyes on them cause they are a great player.
3. What are your first impressions of everyone based on this first challenge? OH GOD. i love benj!! benj is very organized so we started off pretty well. i threw out lush life randomly and then we decided to go with lush life, how cute!!! but yea, benj and mikki have done lots of works and i love THEM. RAFFY ALSO DID AMAZING in his parts!!! like he has PROPS and his camp is sooooo summery and AHH he's so great. blake.. ahem if blake didn't look at his lyrics at the first part, it would've been a bit better. and idk about khalid. i'm very worried cause khalid hasn't sent any of his parts yet. and like he seems inactive??? so idk but i don't wanna lose the points for full team participation :oooooh: I DIDNT JUST SHOW ANYONE I CANT DANCE TO LOSE AND I DIDNT HAVE TO DANCE AND MAKE MY LEGS ACHE JUST TO LOSE!!! SOBS!! but that is a sign that tells me i should exercise more x ANYWAYS!!!! its just interesting point to add x
4. What is your strategy going into the first portion of the game? trying to lay low and build some connections with ppl from my tribe. benj and raffy for sure. i rlly like their vibes so i need to stick with them. and just try not to lose challenges cause its gonna be suck voting one of them out. also, if we somehow win, i want to send someone who i can trust moving forward to exiled island.. but we'll see. its gonna be a lot of thinking and convincing people.
5. How do you want other people in the game to view you in the early stages of the game? as someone who they can trust and talk to and someone who always puts effort into challenges cause thats what most important in the first stage of the game.. i'll come back here after results x
HELLO AUTUMNS WORLD IM PISSED! not about raffy getting sent to the outback. its what raffy deserved. i like raffy so thats fine i just need to work on my relationship with him after he comes back. BUT KHALID. GOD. he just doesnt care about the challenge AT ALL. he was inactive. he didnt even talk about the challenge. and then coming to the chat and telling us SORRY after we have submitted… god thats BS. we literally all put our effort into this. and for someone who just dont care about the pandemic (idk about the uk but i guess they allow partying now) and go out and party. GOD i mean he’s going back to bahrain anyways WELL GUESS WHAT, HERE IS ANOTHER PLANE TICKET HOME. take that and sashay away babe
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cause thats just FUCKED UP. everyone put their efforts in. benj — his leg is HURTING he cant move much btut he still did his parts and helped us with the editing. RAFFY — he literally worked 8 to 5 but he still found time to just shoot his parts and like more random parts. blake — well even though he didnt study the song much, he still did it and he is a team player. MIKKI — well u know i love mikki and ik how much shes in her head for this challenge but every scene she is on, i smile watching her because she just did it SO WELL PLUS she stayed up late for khalid and her health is not good. fucked up khalid u done fucked up enough. hope u enjoyed ur short time at autumns world.
First challenge, done, middle of the road WOOOOOOOOOOOOO, absolutely love that my music video streak has been continuing! Coming into this game, I felt absolutely nervous as hell about playing with 2 winners on my team, but in all honesty, I’m gonna take the Jinx approach- Embrace it, you don’t get another opportunity like this. I love the fact that I’m being more engaged than before and that’s what I want to be, especially in confessionals. I’m always trying to be better, and how can I better myself I HATE THE WAY MARV ALBERT PRONOUNCES PARENTHESES, YOU DON’T SAY IT LIKE “THE C’s”? JESUS MARV ITS GONNA BE YOUR LAST GAME YOU CALL IN YOUR CAREER COME ON MAN.
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I hate to be called Joestradamus, but when Captain or Mikki get voted out first because of how tight knit they are, don’t @ me
*slides into splits* WE WON YES YES YES YES WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAH
re khalid missing the challenge: no everyone in our team worked rlly hard on that except khalid who went out fucking partying then he lied about going to send the vid soon cause you know what if he already filmed his parts, looking for a vid and click send are not that hard he fucking told us he was about to send ASAP and then disappeared and then had the NERVE to tell us AFTER THE DEADLINE that he's so SORRY OH PLS
This tribe name is Autumn's last name backwards! https://thumbs.gfycat.com/VigorousBiodegradableIrishterrier-size_restricted.gif
Now that that is out of the way, let me list my tribemates... Giraffez Joey Lily C Lily O Monty. Something is incredibly amusing about how there is a tribe with someone named Chips and someone named Giraffez. What is not amusing is that I get a "I don't like/want to speak to/etc." vibe from Giraffez? I could just be a delicate and annoying flower but our conversations have been short and dry. Joey has some great high energy and excitement and I love that he loves being part of this game. He is also pretty fun to talk to. Hoping that we can keep an open dialogue and that perhaps I can rope him into a future alliance of sorts. Lily C is a sweetheart truly and I adore her personality so much. She is such a go-getter and goes to bat for those with who she feels can be loyal. I'm hoping that we can build loyalty and trust together. Lily O has been busy with work at a bowling alley. That's actually really cool because when I was a child that was my dream job. Not even joking... my parents were in leagues when I was growing up and my brother and I entered ones designed for children. It was a big thing in my family and I thought that I would love to be in that "atmosphere" all the time. Anyway, we haven't spoken until after the results were announced so honestly if I had to guess I was their intended target if we had had tribal council and they were mine?? (perhaps...) It has been really nice getting to connect with Monty and really cool finding out that they are beginning job searching after college and thinking of pursuing education as a career. I have a soft spot in my heart for all educators.
Okay so I'm just going to say this now. Autumn needs to simplify the twists to more like Blue's Clues with an OBVIOUS large blue paw prints where I'm supposed to look. I have no idea what that announcement was about war rooming someone into the game and feel like I"m fifty million steps behind these big-brained people who figured it out. https://media2.giphy.com/media/m59avtxDzXeiQ/200.gif
I think that I missed the message about what we do with tickets or I'm still just as clueless as previously stated but I am intrigued nonetheless. I think even if I knew what to do with them I would just hoard them like I would Chuck E. Cheese tickets in case something else came along. Hope they're not like Fire Tokens and let you buy like Peanut Butter and Idols because I am anti- fire token. https://media.tenor.com/images/d7de1f75f2c43f8e044e958b964430fa/tenor.gif
On a side note, I'm paranoid when I see people on calls because even if they're not talking about me or plotting they are potentially aligning with each other and that does not include me. I don't really know much about how calls work on Discord as I am a pretty big noob generally speaking with the platform but it did say that Joey and Giraffez were on a call earlier?? I'm stressed. https://media0.giphy.com/media/3o7TKRwpns23QMNNiE/200.gif --- http://www.purplerockpodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/survivor-pearlislands-lillian-morris-post-savage-blindside.gif
https://voca.ro/1lb9WKsDr6xA
Ok.....so after talking to Joey a little ive learned a few things mikki is a bit of a beast Benj is well......social to and everyone despised Mesopotamia........which i get from the stuff that pumped me up to 16th place that season but I'm mostly hoping that i can make it to the end this time....... So far I've talked to pretty much everyone Lilly and Joey and monty not sure which one really but the one whose discord is 13survivirgirl13 so hopefully soon i can work out some kind of an alliance with them and if we swap or merge from three to two either next week or the week after (probably the week after honestly) i feel i can maybe set us up as one and us four can really rule the roost for a moment....hopefully.....who knows i could just he a delusional old queen whose doomed to be nothing more then premerge every time i play tumblr survivor......or maybe I'm just crazy *shrugs* either way it should be a damn good hoot
we won the first challenge, god bless. which brings up something funky i realized: that the best part about winning immunity is having the day off. and also…idk something just doesn’t sit right…the way autumn was emphasizing that someone would be eliminated from the game…like….hm……….idk….never trust a bitch named after a season!
omg we lost AHHHH but thankfully we have an easy boot sorry khalid im glad i dont have to vote mikki captain or blake eeek pls lets win the next one
I'm totally pumped for this game! Like when I saw my tribe and Jinx is on it I screamed! I want us to have the same success of being together at ftc!! Jude honestly is great to me and I'm enjoying getting to know her a lot, Ricky I remember from HvV4 but we both say no to that and start anew! Bryan I am hopeful to talk more since its been dry and that is okay. Sucks we ended losing Michelle early but I am sure it was for the best! We WILL reign successful
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Yesterday was so stressful to me like editing I have no problem with but I thought my biggest worry was that I needed Bryan to submit stuff late-ish. But turns out an hour before due time thd program wanted to stop working 🙃🥲 and I felt so close to wanting to forfeit- which is something I never do but I just felt hopeless and guilty and even imagined getting voted out. So I had to call Jinx who assured me something could be salvaged and they'd make sure I would stay (rip Bryan) but after the extension by cool hosts I found encouragement and did my magic stuff. SOMEHOW we won and to be honest I dont think anything will top that feeling of relief in the org (give me 3 days) but man what a ride yesterday was for me!
I got a Super Idol! Well, at least I now know that I can fuck around in this game a little bit more since I have this extra insurance in my back pocket which guarantees I stay around in the long run. I want to start getting into alliances because being a solo person with not much time on their hands is definitely a scary position to be in. Preferably, I want an alliance with Nikki and Benj (though I suspect that they already have an alliance with at least one other person on the tribe). It does suck that I am not at tribal considering that it will help build my bonds even stronger. I guess I just have to suffer for the time being
i think this is gonna be an easy vote cause khalid needs to go. but idk you can never feel safe in survivor :/ but so far everyone has been telling me they're voting khalid so lets pray
Omg that immunity was so hard, I literally did not know what I was doing and I think out of everyone I was a bit lackluster. I will say on the tribe I have not really talked to all of them but I will say I trust Jinx the most and we have talked a lot and I think that moving forward we will have each others back. All I need to do is talk to the rest of the tribe and form bonds that will last me to a swap or merge.
https://youtu.be/kKOciJGjrzw
https://youtu.be/mx7WPjx8zCk
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khalid babe this ones for you 🥺 https://youtu.be/QX2boYNUbxw
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