#i love to suffer ya feel me
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wip hours
#violetshipping#joukai#wip#my art#can i call myself invested if i dont draw at least one art nouveau piece#gonna tuck this into my wip folder tho its gonna take me a decade there's so many flowers#use a stamp you cry#i love to suffer ya feel me
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Here you go fellow gays enjoy some tranquil scenery with the favorite fruity robot ever. Spend a late night chatting with him on a balcony as the laughter rings out in the air. Can’t quite get any better then this
#uhhhh yea sorry about the lack of talking here—I know it’s not every day I’m left with zero thoughts to elaborate on#but it’s 11:46pm and the right side of my head loves to make me suffer#like I can’t think straight despite being sober. Either it’s sleep deprivation once again or simply a developing migraine#no clue!! and I’m not going to stay awake a second longer to figure that one out!! 🙃#anyways yea kinda lean to the headcannon of Puzzle’s being bisexual#he’s talked about being a ‘damsel magnet’ or whatever and that could read as him being into the feminine qualities#however he’s clearly not conventional in that heteronormativity#he’s just too fruity to ever be contained. you couldn’t slap the strait label on him even if ya tried#it’ll just peel right off like those cheap banana stickers#which can only mean one thing—that man’s gay AND European!!#cue the rest of the musical number#….help I’m going to black out genuinely#I can’t even feel my hands at this point uhhhh#hplonesome art#smg4 mr. puzzles#mr. puzzles smg4
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Shoutout to my therapist for now ending sessions with "We out here sinning! We out here suffering!" as a weirdly hopeful affirmation for me
#'We walk by faith and not by sight' is OUT#'We out here sinning and suffering' is IN#His whole thing is suffering sucks bootyass so we gotta learn how to tolerate it#You can express how much suffering sucks bootyass#and eventually you feel better. the sucking ass eventually runs out#you just gotta tolerate it in the least dangerous way you can#ideally it's have a cry and take care of yourself and rest up and so on and so forth#if it's self harm and drugs then so be it cause harm reduction#you probably aren't gonna focus on not smoking cigarettes if you're homeless and hungry#cause cigarettes make you feel less hungry and agitated#so once you get housing then we can worry about the smoking#you're probably not gonna stop self harming while in an abusive household so let's work on tolerating that while finding a way to get out#Once youre out and safe we can focus on moving from self harm to self care#ya know?#he says it's a tool. it's not the most handy tool but it is A Tool in your toolbox#you wanna add tools to your toolbox so you have more options. having no tools at all is the worst outcome#a broken hammer is better than no hammer when you need to deal with a nail right?#anyways that's it I just love my therapist I was homeless for like 2 months but I'm housed now so it's all good#he constantly reminds me of this concept but even more so until I got my temporary dorm#anyways again fuck Jesus I just moved into this dorm and I already might have to evacuate for Milton#you'll make my uncle a prophet but can't save my new mini fridge from a flood for me? fuck off dude#ex christian#religious trauma
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hi ..currently thinking abt writing this for my own but until I kick this writers block, i’m thinking maybe having a biting obsession with steve? like obviously not hard enough to hurt or leave a mark or anything, just being fixated on the idea of doing it as love language? it’s always at the most random times and always catches him off guard but he’s learned that’s just like affection overload for you so he doesn’t care and lets it happen !!!
YODELING anon you and me are ONE in the same!! and look like, you never think of yourself a biter or even consider yourself to be one, you get all the normal emotions when you gaze at your boyfriend— you want to kiss him, want to hold him n touch him and this feeling always feels like it comes left field. steve doesn't ask the first couple times, mainly because he's like :O..... did you just bite me? after you've gnawed on his finger for a moment, wrapped in his arms at a party together and you've just ducked your head and not said anything, clearly a bit embarrassed. and it just feels like an elephant is sitting on your chest, squishing out all your affection in every direction and you can't explain it to him— you're a little too embarrassed and also a little bit loves that he is surprised but doesn't tell you to stop :')
one time, you're just bundled up beside him in bed for an afternoon nap, legs tangled together, tucked into his chest but god you just want to give him a little nibble. you just love him so much. you check, pulling back an inch and glancing upwards and his eyes are shut, probably dozing sweetly so you just snuggle up him closer, arms squeezing around his middle as you sigh dreamily and try contain your affection. it won't do. his hand is on the pillow within reach and you plant a soft kiss on his palm, then just.. give it a little bite, in the pillowy bit of his palm— soft as you can. you don't even notice steve open one eye, spying your antics with a smile and he gives you a little fright when he speaks, "whatcha doing, honey?" and you shrink back, apologies falling off your tongue, "sorry- do you find it that weird? i can stop but-- it's not bad, i promise, i just, sometimes i just love you so much i feel like i can't contain it. guess it... comes out in the form of a bite?" and realisation breaks over steve so fondly, that you get the same surges as he does, that it's all love "s'okay," he whispers, tightening his hold with a smile, "if that's what it means, y'can bite me any time you wanna," and you do :) and steve loves it :)
#me when i say biting him biting him#i used to do this to my ex#it is indeed a thing i suffer from#im like CMERE I JUST WANNA SQUEEZE YA TIL U POP BUT IN A LOVING CARING WAY#LEMME JUST#NOMNOMNOMNONMO#yanno?#i love him so much#jay answers#jay writes#steve x reader#steve harrington x reader#anon#<3#also omg good luck with the writers block!#feel free to borrow ideas <3 and omg TAG ME when ur done#i'd froth anything that has this in it
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My husband is so smart and kind, also I love that he’s just slowly conditioning the entire crew to come after him during WCI. “When a woman lies, a real man forgives her.” Yeah okay, you ain’t slick Mr. Princess. We all know you’ll be a fleeing damsel soon enough yourself.
#muah I love you be safe 😘😌#listen. I have many Sanji Thoughts but it is not lost on me the number of parallels he shares with the girls. and also. *gestures at momoiro#I also want to harp on how frilly and girly the prince costume he imagines for himself is#who knows what oda will do. but that’s my husband and also my beautiful wife ya feel me?#socially male. narratively female.#apple talks#to the tune of spam#no I will not create an op talking tag yall just have to suffer
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so many classics i wanna tackle in 2024, my tbr is going to END me
#i would love to nail (and annotate) the odyssey + the iliad (since ya girl got the wilson translations!!!)#and i swear i’m gonna read the man who laughs. please there is literally no other story that has given me such brainrot#and i wanna rewatch tgm …#/if/ i’m able to find don quixote and count of monte cristo i want to do those …#and crime and punishment i feel like id like to read too.#those are all THICK books too please i’ll cry#my tbr is already suffering enough#and i already know i’m not gonna read as much next year as i did this year#lindsay posts
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the prisoner
#slay the princess#i drew this queen and scribbled on her for fun#do i have an art tag#i should make one.......................#the prisoner#i should draw her headless#prisoner is one of my favorite princesses#if ya couldnt tell#tbh tho theyre all my favorites#and shes just beautiful and a little mean#and we get to work together......................#she was the last princess on my first run through the game#i was deliberately trying to be nice for shifty bc i wanted the last one to be special#and i had already gotten damsel so i brought the knife#knowing i could probably still save her#so i guess she has an air of finality to me...#esp bc the ending i ended up getting was the one where you end up in chains next to her#just like in the larger context of the game................#well anyways i felt horribly guilty about that#until#of course#i saw her. in her full self. crawling out of it desperately#looking at me desperately#speaking of permanence and impermanence and suffering#and feeling like i misunderstood her entirely#well. i agreed to go with the shifting mound in the first ending i got.#not even making it through the fight#i love you prisoner#soup shut up challenge#burntsoupart
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The annoying thing about releasing sanji from the cage inside my brain this week is that 1) I got stung by a wasp or yellowjacket on my dominant hand and it's so swollen there's tension when I grip a pencil and 2) I won't be around this weekend to draw him a million times in color 😭
#my number 1 bby girl forever#someone in the tags of one of my posts welcomed me to the z0san corner and i lov u but thats so funny#given that i was writing terrible fanfics abt them in 2013 and have been thinking obsessively about them for the last 10 years#i feel like that always sunny meme. newsflash. ive been obsessive with z0san the entire god damn time#i just have invisible walls in my brain that prevent me from doing things but im breaking this one down and making it everyone else problem#lol. god. its so embarrassing. i love sanji so much but i hate him but hes my bby girl but he must suffer forever#thats just how it is. ya kno?#unrelated
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read a fic earlier that's just like infiltrated my brain. i am thinking about it so fucking much. i keep remembering it and kicking my feet and giggling like an anime schoolgirl over some severely undernegotiated hardcore bdsm smut like MAN it was neither safe nor sane but it SURE WAS FUN.......................
#speculation nation#me so thoroughly enjoying the angst and the sadomasochism in the fic and being like#oooooooh so Thats why my writing is like that................#like i been knew ykno i fucking Love making my characters suffer#but the utter Glee that this fic makes me feel. it makes ITNL 15 Make Sense lmfao#drawing hearts in my mind's eye around the concept of branding initials over the Eye's tattoo and also accidentally breaking his neck.#like Whoopsie! sorry. heres ur juice. ur better now. Heart#ok but real talk vash doing Whatever ww wants without regard to what HE wants so that ww is having a fucking religious experience over here#but vash ends up rly freaked out bc of uhhhhhhhh well ya kno he sure did accidentally take that Pretty Far Huh#but he had his juice he's better now. but also vash is like 'ok if we do anything like this again we r gonna do this My way'#which is understandable! and how things should be for them to both have fun with it.#but also im just obsessed with everything about this fic. vash freaking out afterwards and just totally breaking down#like OUGHHHHHHHHHHHH it's so fucking good. it's so much fun. i will be thinking about this fic for my Entire fucking life
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vent tw, if you have depression please please just dont interact-
#ok so. to preface this for anyone with depression going past this point. im not gonna be nice. this isnt about you#this isnt about you in particular or how your secretly constantly a burden to everyone you love or how you just cant get it right#its not about having to deal with a person with depression but more how the social climate has made it so its so hard to deal with every#thing. thats all. if you read more do not blame me for feeling bad.#that was your only and last warning#okay so! now that hopefully all my homies with depression out there are ok- it is hard being surrounded by people with depression#sorry like. i am the only one in my imediate family without depression. and its. its hard a lot#like i care so much about these people and yet i cant help them because their either sad or tired or angry or numb most of the time#and i cant do anything. i cant do anything at all. and thats fucked!!!!! i think. sorry i am not one for curing mental illness but i really#really wish there was just a cure for depression so the people i care about could be happy and have energy and be ok#i dont want to constantly worry in the back of my head if what ill say next will lead them to going quiet and sad#or worry about how a few too many wrong moves and a hard time could push them off the edge. i know it wont happen.#but i worry about it constantly especially with the political climate#and i care for them so much and i just wish they could feel happy most of the time. just more than half is enough. more than half#gosh its gotten to the point a sertain tone of voice or someone saying their tired can make me feel bad#like bad enough i need to leave the room and go cry. everyone is alwase tired and i dont know what to do#i feel like a little kid being so sensitive by others emotions- but i cant help it. i cant help it when im surrounded#again this isnt a bash against anyone with depression. this is a bash against depression because of all the pain its given my loved ones#if i could fight depression as a just. thing i would mawl it alive. tooth and nail til all that was left was either bones. cartalige.#blood and flesh that hadent somehow made it into my stomach. and id keep it alive for a long as i could as i killed it#it would suffer 10 times the amount its made others suffer if i could. i can be a cruel bitch and i will if i ever got the chance.#and u h ya! sorry lil bit of silly moment i am just. sick of the tired. if i could id honestly never hear the phrase im tired again
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whenever im looking for USTs for song covers i wanna do quick i've come to find three types
has all the words in the right places, untuned blank slate that (imo) did all the hard stuff for you and now you get to have fun tuning it yourself
an intricately tuned file that's pretty much plug-and-play (unless i feel like modifying it to be in english)
the most inexplicable and user-unfriendly setup ever that modifying it to be singable for your voicebank and language is a challenge to do on its own
#mayor talk#idk if i am making sense but this is what ive observed#im doing a cover of propaganda! by crusher and downloaded the first ust i found#it has all the right tracks but the way the lyrics are written is so bizarre that my english banks cant sing them#[best i can explain it is that they wrote the phonemes out but without the brackets to signal it's a phonetic hint#so now the voice bank pronounces it as literally as possible if at all so it literally sounds jumbled.... grrr]#i meeean... i prefer an excuse to do extra work over a pretuned ust ngl#i have a backwards mindset where i feel like i cant claim any art ive made if i didnt suffer enough for it#i wanted to cover tengaku and downloaded the first ust i could find and it was REALLY well tuned#and i didnt wanna change it but at the same time i felt bad when i was done cuz it feels like that doesnt count#my 'aliens i love you' and 'luka luka night fever' covers were cool since those usts just had the lyrics in the right order with no bullshi#with either no or minimal tuning that left room for me to do my thing ya know#i mean i could always reset the pitchbends and expressions of a pre-tuned ust but i'd feel like im comparing myself to the original constan#ly. and i would be throwing out a bunch of work just to start from scratch
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google how to explode rats with my mind
#aria rants#am alrdy suffering here. lack of sleep. stomach pain. cant lay down cuz it makes the stomachache worst and then i see a mf rat#jump in the house from the window and okay sure fine. it was KINDA! understandable that bitch did that when it was storming#BUT THERES NO STORM ANYMKRE!!! THERES NO RAIN!! AND ITS STILL! GOING IN AND OUT THE HOUSE!#theres a rat going in and out from the front door. and then theres another from the window and my mom hasnt been doing anything bout it#its actually driving me sligjtly mad cuz PESTS! IN THE HOUSE! DO SOMETHING WILL YA#the urge to grab a knife and be the exterminator i need rn like everytime vita also catches sight of those rats#they also just keep pestering me to get rid of em myself and oooooo im feeling the urge rn#i dont mind rats in the outside world cuz nature needs em but oh for the love of everything holy STAY OUT THE HOUSE!!!
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Req for a Hwang In-ho os with kind off parenting scenarios like what if by mistake a toddler was brought to the games and he ends up in the caretaker roll (and yes he gives off daddy vibes ya know !)
God I loved this one, I feel like him would be great protector.
¿What if...? a little girl entered the games
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little girl x Hwang In-ho father figure
Summary: Your eleven-year-old self is taken to an island believing you'll be a little entertainment.
Warning: In-ho may not be that attached to the original character ¡this man will be a big hug bear here!
Note: I do my best to answer the rest of the requests, thanks for your support!! And if I make a mistake I accept constructive criticism!
You lived alone on the street, you didn't know anything about your parents and every day was a struggle until one day you saw a man in a suit playing Ddakji with another person, when you saw that he gave money as a reward if you beat him quickly went to him.
At first he ignored you and walked away with you right behind him but you were so persistent that after walking a few blocks he finally turned to with a raised eyebrow.
You played with him and won every time, received money and a card to continue playing for more money.
You didn't owe anything, he knew that, but he thought he was doing you a favor by opening the doors to the slaughterhouse, maybe it would be better than you continuing to sleep in a box and eat leftover food.
"She's going to die anyway, I'm just making her suffering shorter" thought the salesman.
What he didn't know is that a certain man would take a liking to you as soon as he saw you.
You played "green light, red light" and managed to get through without a scratch, you were scared but Gi-hun made sure to keep you safe during this game.
—¡They are bastards! ¡They brought a little girl for the love of God! —456 screamed to the sky as the ceiling loomed over their heads, the other player 390 covered your eyes so you wouldn't see all the carnage they left behind in the first round.
Meanwhile... The Front Man's firm footsteps echoed through the hallways as he made his way to the control booth, when he arrived, he spoke in a voice that chilled the blood of his employees.
—¿Who let her in?
He knew the salesman, he knew the heartless idiot had no empathy for even a puppy but the fact that these guards had dressed you up and put you in that arena gave him a headache.
When he was given the number of the one who allowed you to get into the first game, he personally took it upon himself to put a bullet in him head.
He thought about getting you out immediately but considering the fact that he would also be infiltrating there and how after that massacre you were playing and talking non-stop with 390 and 456 as if nothing had happened, he let you continue but this time under his personal supervision.
It was quite easy for him to infiltrate and join Gi-hun, keeping his enemy close would be very useful but he also kept his eyes on you.
—Eat this too —In-ho handed you his can of food when he saw how quickly you had finished the rice, sausage and egg.
—No thanks —The smile you gave him almost made his hard heart beat—You should eat too, but if you insist so much you can give me the sausages.
You finished with a smile, to which he returned the gesture and gave you part of his portion.
During the night he took care of covering you with the blanket so that you wouldn't be cold and of laying you in bed next to him in case you had a nightmare, but to his surprise and that of your new friends, you slept all night without interruptions.
When it was time to go to the next game, In-ho kept you by his side so that you would be on his team with Gi-hun.
His team made it to the end so he wasn't worried if they lost, if they did neither you nor he would have died and there would be no witnesses.
He would break just a few of the rules to stay you alive.
Every time some players were eliminated, you covered your ears and closed your eyes tightly, something that moved him so much that he also distracted you by talking to you every time the guards removed the bodies to prevent you from seeing all that show of death and blood.
After the second vote Jung-bae was sorry for choosing the circle so he apologized to you and Jun-hee.
—It's okay, as long as we're together ¡we'll win! —You said with a beaming smile as Young-il ruffled your hair in excitement.
The day seemed long in there, but you didn't get bored with Young-il. He told you some children's stories and played with you.
However, when you were playing with the empty milk carton you accidentally hit the back of player 100.
—Oops, sorry sir —You said politely, reaching out to grab the little box from the floor, but before you could do so, he stepped on it hard, stepping on two of your fingers of the hand in the process.
Your cry of pain caught In-ho's immediate attention, he cut off the conversation he was having with Gi-hun and went to you.
—¡¿How is it possible that you are still alive?! ¡You are just a little brat!
In-ho effortlessly picked you and hug against his chest.
With just one look he silenced the man, it wasn't a warning, it was a threat, that man had hurt you and he would make sure him paid the consequences, not now, but he would definitely suffer.
—I told you not to stray too far from me —He said as he walked back to his place with the others.
You just nodded still with tears in your eyes and hugging him by the neck, he left you on the bed and took your hand to analyze the damage.
—You didn't hurt yourself much, you'll be better after pouring cold water on yourself in the bath —He said trying to calm you down, he dried the tears from your cheeks and kissed your forehead, it was an act he did on impulse and it even surprised himself a little.
"You'll be a great father" Gi-hun told him when you were sleeping, which was strange, the last time he heard that was when his wife talked to him about starting a family, he silently thanked but deep down he felt different, as if you had been able to reach the light inside him, a light he had considered extinct.
During the third game he stayed close to you, every time it was time to team up and run into a room he made sure to hold your hand.
Until the time came to form a team of four, there were many in his group so you and he separated, the counter reached zero and In-ho managed to get you two into a room and close it.
—But we're missing two —You said somewhat nervously and scared while the shots rang out from outside.
—Listen to me —In-ho knelt in front of you and held your shoulders —I need you to keep this a secret,
He gave a quick glance to the camera in the corner, they weren't going to kill them even if they cheated but now he needed no one else to find out about this.
—But it's cheating... —You murmured, confused and still a little scared.
—Promise me you won't say anything about this, not to Gi-hun or the others.
You nodded silently, you didn't say anything and that, without knowing it, would cost the lives of some of your friends.
That same night, there was a rebellion organized by 456.
You wanted to go with them, believing yourself strong enough to help them, but Young-il opposed it.
—I'm not going to let you come with us—He said firmly as he took you by the hand and led you back to the rest of the players —It's dangerous, you will stay with them until we return.
He left you in the hands of 149, 222 and 007, the older woman was the one who had the most empathy for you so In-ho knew you would be fine until his guards came for you.
[...]
After returning to his place as Front man, he sent a group of guards to control the rest of the players in the room and get you out of there.
"Player 398, you must come with us" when you heard that and saw the guards coming towards you, you hugged 149, you were scared, after all you were a girl and didn't know what was happening.
Geum-ja also held you tightly to prevent you from being taken away but it was useless, In-ho was surprised by how you won the affection of her, Jun-hee, Hyun-ju and Myung-gi to the point that they were able to stand up to his soldiers.
As were led through the colorful hallways you bit the hand of one of the pink guards and kicked the other to escape, you had spent entire short life on the streets so escaping was one of your skills, the first thing you did was call some of your friends, including Young-il.
But there came a time when you started to cry, believing that they were dead and you sat on the ground, you remained there scared and worried until once again two guards found you, this time accompanied by a man dressed in grey and a black mask.
When you looked up, he could see your watery eyes and red nose, which made his affection for you grow and not caring about his own rules about secret identity, he took off his mask and crouched down to be at your level.
He didn't know what to say to you, how to handle this situation in which you were so confused and overwhelmed, so when you hugged him he just returned the gesture and got up from the floor with you.
—It's okay, you're going to be fine —He whispered to you calmly while caressing your hair.
In-ho didn't know anything about being a father, he hadn't thought about being one since his wife died but he would do everything possible to take care of you from now on, for a few seconds he thought about sending you with Jun-ho and his mother but he preferred not to, besides, you didn't want to leave him alone for even a second.
He would teach you how to use weapons and defend yourself, he would also try to get you to accompany him everywhere or remain under surveillance, you quickly became a weakness so the safer you are the safer he will be too.
He didn't explain everything to you in detail, much less what role he had in these games, he believed that you wouldn't forgive him so the less you know the better for you, but you weren't stupid, the life you had before meeting him made you analyze things better than many others.
You knew that whatever his job was, it wasn't good but you didn't judge him or talk to him.
To you, he was like your father and that would make you defend him tooth and nail from anyone who wanted to hurt him.
In case Gi-hun ends the games, Jun-ho would probably take responsibility for you and let you visit In-ho in prison, (when you're older, you'll probably help him escape and move to another continent).
But if not, you will probably be given the front man position when you grow up because you are trained enough by this man, you will be calculating and probably a younger, female version of him.
N/A: Ok, I hope this is what you expected and thanks for this idea!
I honestly think In-ho wouldn't canonically take responsibility for a child, maybe he would protect sometimes like 222, but I don't think he would care afterwards, that man is beyond help 😭
#hwang inho x reader#squid game x reader#squid game#hwang in ho#squid game fic#lee byung hun#young-il x reader#in ho squidgame#in ho x reader#In-ho father figure#frontman x you#front man x reader
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Retired pro hero Bakugou buying a really old abandoned home in Japan and restoring it while living in it.
It's all he's got, a lot of his friends have wives, families, kids, some of them even expecting a first grandkid and Bakugou in his 40s has nothing of his life to show for aside from the undisputed number one spot on the hero charts for 20 years straight and more scars than he can count.
He feels he relates to the house, old, once adored but now empty.
He wants to change that, wants to be more than an idea or idol, wants to disassociate from Dynamight and just be Bakugou Katsuki but he isn't sure he knows who that is. Dynamight is still parts of him yes but exaggerated, in all his years Katsuki knows he can soften he just doesn't know where.
Although he's ready to find out. Sadly or maybe fortunately, he's the type of man who has to find out through action and hard work. He bought the house site unseen, didn't even Google what the front of the home looked like he didn't care.
Standing in front of his mostly dilapidated home he feels good, crossing his arms over his chest as he lets his mind wander on where to start. Eyes sharp, cutting into the features of the home as he assesses just like he would any villain situation.
"Excuse me Dyna-" You clear your throat before he looks at you, as you remember his retiring announcement of him saying Dynamight can go fuck himself. I'm Bakugou Katsuki now.
"Excuse me Bakugou. I brought you a little welcome gift. I'm your neighbor." You don't flinch when his heavy gaze flicks to you, don't shy away from his snarl and if anything your smile grows as you offer up the bento and plate of cookies.
He doesn't take them and you don't take offense, just gently pull them back to yourself as you look at the home
"I'm so happy you bought the Sato house. They were good neighbors. They lived here when I was younger by both passed suddenly. Old age does that ya know? They didn't have any children but Mrs. Sato taught me her special rice for bentos."
You're rambling but you don't care, you'd just bought your childhood home from your parents a month prior. Fearful your home would suffer the same fate as the Satos. That the love and memories would be washed away by the rain and neglect. That the air around the home would worsen each year it went unaccompanied until it became so stagnant with neglect it became a miasma that not even the toughest soul could stomach.
Yet here stood Bakugou strong and tall outside a broken home.
"I don't think it's anything special by the way. Just a bit more soy sauce or sesame seed oil, I think she was what made it special."
Katsuki looks down at you for a long time, sees your fingers twitch against the fabric of the neatly wrapped bento, watches you swallow thickly and lashes flutter to combat the burn in your eyes as you stare at the home. You turn to face him, give a polite smile and nod of your head in a brief good bye before his voice stops you.
"I'll be the judge of that." You furrow your brows in confusion, looking up at him before his big warm palm comes under the bento to lift from your hands, "If the rice is special or not."
He watches your face light up, a true genuine smile that could compete with the sun and he feels something deep in his chest ache. Feels it yearn to reach out to you but he stands firm in his spot as he watches you disappear down the short overgrown walk way back to your home.
He doesn't even need to try the fucking rice to know the answer.
The rice was going to be special because you made it, Katsuki's sure of it.
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continuin the prev post here cuz i feel comfy hidin my talks in tags but i always near the tag limit
#as i was sayin#im really proud of myself 4 progressin in the way i have i think its a part of healin 4 me but also is jus way of expression#i still feel like a freak a lot but.. less than before#especially now dat i been findin more ppl who share my interests n views 🥺🫶🏼#it has genuinely helped so immensely#i love ppl who r jus. normal. n have realisitc views. naw black n white thinkin. naw extremes#n i have 2 say ppl gawta get more comfortable w jus.. sayin they don lik Smth#dat its outta their comfort zone dat it doesn float theit boat#instead of harrassin ppl n assignin morals 2 things dat never involved em. 2 things dat r far removed from reality & don affect it unless ya#let em affect it#like w how anti-prоshiр sum ppl r. ya wudn expect em 2 b so obsessed w clockin others n sendin hate. SAME for the other way round. leave#each other alone? peace n lovr on planet earth?#but yea im happy 2 jus b. b my own thing. n do my own thing#nevertheless i still believe thers a conversation 2b had abt the experiences of those whose trauma Do make em like fucked up related things#n gravitate towards those things n see it in eveyrthin n wanna re enact em in sum way#'healthy' (fiction. roleplay. kink) or 'unhealthy' (seekin out those things irl w real danger of harm)#like which one do ya think is better. hm?#cuz personally id rather let ppl do watever they want in their own time as long as they r unhurt & don hurt anyone else.#the moment ya assign morality 2 things like kink n fiction. ya other ppl who r not like ya & don deal w things like ya & WILL most likely#suffer w consequences (cause i have. self doubt & hate. guilt. alienation)#it can b a healthy outlet as long as ya r mindful. 100%#ill b upfront tho. it does strike me as weird when someone who has naw history of X is straight up obsessed w it in dat sense. but also like#they can do watever they want forever anyway. my personal feelings r irrelevant cuz okay. then their spaces r nawt 4 me!#like sadly im nawt livin the timeline where m unaffected by the trauma we have so i cant understan wat else is in sm1 head dat might make em#drawn 2 those things. but it also none of my business. so!
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satoru loves loving you.
he loves taking care of you; giving you random gifts you don’t necessarily need; cooking you (half-burnt) food to make sure you eat at least a little something; hugging you when you least expect it, but need it most; reassuring you every time you’re anxious about something — even with the smallest of things that others would brush off and probably tell you ‘it’s fine’ or that ‘it isn’t that big of a deal’.
satoru also takes loving you quite seriously. he isn’t ashamed to admit how much he likes his lover nor does he care about what people think of you two as a couple. you’re the apple of his eyes; the love of his life. the only one who matters. therefore, it’s only natural for him to be a bit too. . . dramatic when it comes to showing you that he cares for you.
“satoru — love — i’m not dying. it’s just the flu.”
especially when you’re feeling under the weather: you’re sick? he’s double as sick.
“oh, my baby. my sweet, sweet babyyyy,” satoru sniffles as he cradles your tired body to his chest, his chin resting on top of your head. the devastation in his voice sounded like you were at war and had suffered a fatal gunshot to the chest.
it was nice to know that satoru truly cared that much about your wellbeing. also, kind of funny. it’s like he was (unintentionally) attempting to make you feel better about your situation — almost like he was trying to take your mind off the throbbing headache you were experiencing.
“sato—” “i know, i know—no need to talk. we’re gonna get ya fixed up, all right? hold on.”
your eyes followed satoru’s slender hands as they swiftly search the plastic bag he had bought home from the store a few minutes ago. he picks out a bottle which contains your usual painkillers and quickly takes out the recommended dose.
satoru pouts whilst grabbing a cup of water, though doesn’t directly hand you it over, “open up, princess. you’ll feel better after ya take this. trust me.”
all you can do is accept it. satoru’s going to baby you throughout your entire sickness, whether you liked it or not.
you part your lips and allow your lover to put the small pill on your tongue. he gently places the rim of the cup by your mouth and helps you swallow the medicine — praising you afterwards with a quick ‘that’s my girl’ — before helping you rest your head back on the pillow.
satoru does not allow you to move a single muscle when he’s around and you’re unwell. he insists to take care of you and to nurse you back to health — even if he has to skip on important meetings or missions. the entire world could be burning down and he’d still only think of your safety and health.
nothing in the world compares to you. no one and nothing ever will.
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#satoru x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jjk x you#jjk fic#jjk x female reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#jjk x y/n#jjk x fem!reader#gojo x female reader
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