#let em affect it
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continuin the prev post here cuz i feel comfy hidin my talks in tags but i always near the tag limit
#as i was sayin#im really proud of myself 4 progressin in the way i have i think its a part of healin 4 me but also is jus way of expression#i still feel like a freak a lot but.. less than before#especially now dat i been findin more ppl who share my interests n views 🥺🫶🏼#it has genuinely helped so immensely#i love ppl who r jus. normal. n have realisitc views. naw black n white thinkin. naw extremes#n i have 2 say ppl gawta get more comfortable w jus.. sayin they don lik Smth#dat its outta their comfort zone dat it doesn float theit boat#instead of harrassin ppl n assignin morals 2 things dat never involved em. 2 things dat r far removed from reality & don affect it unless ya#let em affect it#like w how anti-prоshiр sum ppl r. ya wudn expect em 2 b so obsessed w clockin others n sendin hate. SAME for the other way round. leave#each other alone? peace n lovr on planet earth?#but yea im happy 2 jus b. b my own thing. n do my own thing#nevertheless i still believe thers a conversation 2b had abt the experiences of those whose trauma Do make em like fucked up related things#n gravitate towards those things n see it in eveyrthin n wanna re enact em in sum way#'healthy' (fiction. roleplay. kink) or 'unhealthy' (seekin out those things irl w real danger of harm)#like which one do ya think is better. hm?#cuz personally id rather let ppl do watever they want in their own time as long as they r unhurt & don hurt anyone else.#the moment ya assign morality 2 things like kink n fiction. ya other ppl who r not like ya & don deal w things like ya & WILL most likely#suffer w consequences (cause i have. self doubt & hate. guilt. alienation)#it can b a healthy outlet as long as ya r mindful. 100%#ill b upfront tho. it does strike me as weird when someone who has naw history of X is straight up obsessed w it in dat sense. but also like#they can do watever they want forever anyway. my personal feelings r irrelevant cuz okay. then their spaces r nawt 4 me!#like sadly im nawt livin the timeline where m unaffected by the trauma we have so i cant understan wat else is in sm1 head dat might make em#drawn 2 those things. but it also none of my business. so!
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Prompt 185
No one could get into contact with Constantine.
Now usually that wasn’t that big of a deal, the man constantly disappeared for a few days at a time doing something or other, but he’d been completely silent and unseen for months. Usually he’ll at least answer a call to tell them to fuck off or something.
And they really need his expertise and are getting incredibly worried for their grumpy team member. Yes he’s an asshole, but he’s their asshole, y’know? And he has a habit of getting into Situations (sure he also usually gets out of them, but what if he didn’t this time?!)
So they’re desperate. Kind of really desperate. Desperate enough to use the summoning sigil they found on his fridge. They’d checked it, multiple times, and it should summon the hellblazer.
“You’re not Constantine.” .
The white-haired teen in the circle yawned, stretching and blinking at them blandly with familiar blue eyes before sighing. “Actually I am,” he stuffed his hands into his hoodie as he looked down at the summoning circle. “Well, technically just one of the many Laughing Magicians currently in the Realms.”
He gave a grin, looking more amused than annoyed. “Pretty much every one of us is in the Realms right now for family reunion lol. (Did he just say lol out loud??) So like, you’re gonna have to specify which of us you’re tryin’ to summon. Honestly perfect timing for me thanks, the fruitloop keeps flirting with John and it’s horrific so.”
… That was probably their John, wasn’t it…
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#The Constantine Family exists for fucking over entities & manipulating luck#They adore this scrappy halfa who is doing the same with twice the feral#Danny: Yeah I’m like the changeling child that ended up in the middle of them and they just kept me for the laughs lol#Danny: I’m not allowed to join in the drinking competitions#Danny: Oh no it’s not a responsibility thing; alcohol doesn’t affect me and they say it’s cheating#Why Yes Vlad IS flirting with their Constantine#He’s started his redemption but let’s be honest he’s also a con-man & John is all for fucking over the rich#Danny is disgusted at how well they’re getting along and wanted to get away from their flirting while everyone else ribbed at em#Hence why when they all felt the summoning he decided to go#Well that and also for the laughs because he’s learning magic Undead Constantine style#”Fuckin 'ell yeah the family 'as a necromancer in 'he line again look a' 'im go!” (Lots of ghost & living people drunken cheering)#Danny only half fucking with people: Yeah I’m like their collective undead fae child lmao#danny fenton#john constantine
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haha just kidding, nothing is free!
100 bucks. fork it over.
#the drowning is metaphorical.#Its A Metaphor.#lovingly kissing his forehead and then dropkicking him into a volcano <3#on my hands and knees Please let things go so so badly for him#Please break him i want to hear him in utter emotional agony god Please-#crack that comedy mask pleaaassseeeee take a sledgehammer to it-#Sorry. Sorry. normal. im normal about him#the cuteness aggression is jumping tf out rn#well. is it Cuteness aggression? i mean he Is very cute but hm... affection aggression...#what can i say i want to see my favs put through agonies and horrors#its like the best character advice i ever did see! characters are like geodes! ya gotta break em to see whats inside...#AND BABEY! I WANT THAT FUNNYGUY SHATTERED!#scribble garnish#barnaby b beagle#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#scopophobia#as always im not the Happiest with what ive made but!! i dont Dislike it so thats something!#it was... fun. ish#it was fun until i started doing the text <3#i was practicing a more uhhh shrimplified style yk. more slapdash#and i blinked and then this was on my screen!#im not upset about it :]c
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fresh writing will come soon i’ve just been too focused on rp and school. i just need to edit things.
in the mean time enjoy a sketch of vian (guy i have yet to introduce but hate love dearly) that i won’t ever finish
under cut because blood n medical themes. malpractice, woo!
#whump community#my ocs#crep’s ocs#vian oc#vian venstal#don’t let this man have a bonesaw.#don’t let this man have a medical license PERIOD.#his way of showing affection is just malpractice.#best way to keep em coming back is to make em worse! now they need more care! yay!
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TRUTH: What plot or scene are you most proud of in your story?
P.S. My dares are usually fun and mostly cas related :)
ohhhhh my god idk it's so hard to pick just one plot or scene when you've ended up with SO many 😆 ig i'm just gonna cheat a lil n say i'm really having fun with Robin atm.. like i've never really "built" a character from the bottom up before u kno? (not rlly including legacy sims tbh cos i feel like they don't count lol) but i've always made adults or maybe teens/whatever with their backstory in mind? and now i get to create someone from scratch and live through all these things that'll shape him when he's older, it's super interesting (and a lil bit challenging too tbh! but in a fun way)
#ranswers#skdjsk#MY BOY#;-;#tbh this kinda counts for all the kiddos#it's kind of a mix between me saying ok i want em to end up like this so what do i gotta do to get there?#and me just kinda letting things happen and seeing how shit affects them and adding it to the mix#very inchresting way of 'building' a character
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A 🌹 for KDJ.
#dietmimo doodles#omniscient reader#omniscient reader's viewpoint#ORV#orv kdj#orv yjh#KDJ is obviously Jack cuz just like Jack KDJ dies LOL#also yes this is a revamp from the disaster trio sticker sheet#yes I am def revamping it#eehehehhehehe#does this still count as bday art LOL#YJH only lets this happen because it’s KDJ’s bday#that’s a like YJH secretly wants a hug#everyone needs a hug YJH is to tsundere sometimes to admit it#KDJ be like that too aka too awkward to ask for physical affection#both of em are awkward in their own right#these beans I swear
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visual reminder to maybe go over to @sawbones-showdown and cast your vote for the coolest parmesan-carrying, wounded-at-Fontenoy, no-nonsense-taken doctor that robert louis stevenson ever wrote
#em draws stuff#treasure island#doctor livesey#it has only been a few months since I have drawn him but it feels as if hundreds of years have passed#and my art style seems to have been irreversibly affected by a Certain Videojame in that time. which. uh. okay then.#not asking for much. not even uttering the words Livesey Sweep. just let him make it to the next round. Please.
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The arguing with male relatives post is unfortunately Too Real. For the brief period both me and my partner were getting therapy (separately) we did try to get intentional about communicating better with each other but every single time without fail, chat time devolved into an argument. I had to pull the plug on it, it was so stressful and having the opposite effect to what both of us intended. But why can I blame him for the argument, you ask? Because my toxic trait is avoidance. If we are arguing then the fault with me is that I was present to argue with!
As a tactic, instant disagreement is not exclusively used by men, and one of my very good friends defaults to it as well, but it's possibly not a coincidence that she's spent her entire career in male-dominated industries and being subject to that tactic that it's probably just her default conversational style now. But wow does she get judged for it, in a way I rarely see men getting criticised. Also it does not make her the funnest person to have a conversation with at times. However she would not later blame me for not being chill. Argue with a man who treats every conversation as an opportunity to assert their intellectual dominance and suddenly you're no fun and have a bad attitude.
#tmi but I can't recall a single meaningful conversation we've had since you-know-who bought the bird site and i discovered he was a fanboy#we had the radio news on and i commented that it was lucky neither of us used the bird site and thus wouldn't be affected by the sale#only to be told that the bird site sucked and EM was a genius programmer who was going to make it better akshully#anyway much like the tree one hopes not to hit when going around a corner at high speed let's ignore that for now#judge actions not thoughts etc and anyway who can afford not to have a housemate in this economy
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Realizing I'm literally cycling through the 5 stages of grief because of that episode
#I'm upset bc of this anime#like i dont think i have ever been so emotionally affected by a show before#i cry from shows and other media all the time but this GOT to me and i hate how stupid it sounds to be like#but i am legitimately upset 😭#it's got me in a deppressive spiral#like partly bc i have not been in the greatest place emotionally anyway but fr how they gonna do em like that#how am i supposed to work on my Master's capstone project now#i just been switching back and forth from here and twitter to vent about it#5 stages of grief#buddy daddies#buddy daddies spoilers#buddy daddies ep 10#why did this show hit so hard gd#i am a mess now#i am literally crying#plz let ep 11 and the rest of the season be happy#like i cant#and if kazuki and rei lose each other (bc rei's dad is still against Kazuki so i doubt he's just gonna let them chill) i will never recover
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Hiii!! I just wanted to check up on you. How are you feeling? Are you doing ok? I hope you are taking care of yourself and able to enjoy the holiday as much as you can. Thinking of you ❤️
hii lovely
life has kinda quieted down some? which is good and things are going okay when im not frustrated with the rest of my family (feels like im the only one whos rly... being a caretaker at all...) but im just kinda taking it one day at a time rn
ty for checking in <3 i hope u get to spend the holiday happily as well <3
#wooahaes.ask#completely-zoned-out#ive barely been writing lately and i think im more frustrated over That than anything else#just bc its always been my outlet ykno? so not being able to do it is just.... hnnghghgh#i did get the 25 + 31 fics written and ill schedule em#maybe i can get a couple other days done and posted if i feel up to it? idk#i honestly nearly pulled the plug on them entirely like 'i dont think i can do this' but im glad i kinda just let myself have time n space#to work as i please p much since i think that helped a lot more than i thought it would#sorry abt the wonu fic when it gets posted its... definitely affected by my life rn. obvs nothing has happened Yet#but it does like. ykno. pull from it a liiiiil bit
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how i feel after writing a 297 words 1,630 characters comment on a fics chapter that broke me beyond repair
#I LOVE.... writing comments.... im the commenter im the yapper.....#i WILL be letting the writers know how much their stupid little words affected me and how im crying screaming n throwing up from reading em
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Hey! I just wanted to tell you again how absolutely wonderful I found those sketches you did, they really made my day. Soo, to answer your question, yes you making me fall deeper into the dracugoona rabbit hole is a good thing, I love those two with all my heart. I may lament them not being canon sometimes, but just ignore that lol.
Thank ya! I'm real glad ya like my silly sketches (since I haven't been able to draw bigger things, I'm glad the sketches are good too) And you're not alone, even if they're not canon, Witch Hitch did unreparable damage and now I can't NOT ship them
Here! Have another unrelated sketch cause I cannot keep my hands from drawing them once I allow myself to think of how much I love them <3
#for real thank ya for your words...to know you enjoy the sketches as much as I enjoyed drawing 'em really means a lot#I'm used to the ships I like not being canon...so even if they aren't that won't stop me#Are we all victims of Witch Hitch? Like do we need a support group for everyone who was affected by the power of that ep?#I have SO many ideas I wanna draw with them... but gotta take care of my wrists...so sketches it is... for now#Dracugoona#Draculaura x Lagoona#MH G3#Monster High#Gen 3#ask kio#let's draw or die trying
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going over old fic notes and outlines and character talks with friends and it's always really funny when i get to the stuff i was developing early-mid 2019 where bill just literally kept kryptos around to rag on, and he genuinely just. did not like the man. like was just completely annoyed with his general existence. boy have things changed
#for anyone curious: i came to the conclusion that no amount of 'this guy sucks but he's fun to bully' would get bill to keep someone around#for like literal eons. bill gets bored of his toys too quickly. he'd break 'em. plus the fact that bill decided he was worth saving to begi#with. there was at first an element of 'i owe the guy' because [FIC SPOILERS] and a grudging 'if i had a gun to my head i'd say he was my#best friend i GUESS but do not tell him that' but no real genuine friendship or anything more#before realizing that with the specific story i was going to tell it just made the most sense to have these assholes still be like.#bad people for sure but to actually care about each other. it also just felt too easy to write bill off as someone whose cruelty is just#a lack of certain emotions. like that doesn't automatically make a bad person and a bad person doesn't automatically lack emotion#(there's a character that'll be introduced sometime soon who is aroace and doesn't make friends easily and she's lovely because...)#(idk man. i'm aroace and why shouldn't she be. a lack of affection doesn't make you bad and the ability to feel it doens't make you good)#so bill can and does love people-- even if actual vulnerability is near impossible to get from him-- and kryptos is included in that#it's just that he still sucks really bad and hurts and even kills people that he loves because again. bad person who has no idea how to#navigate relationships healthily because of his own baggage and the environment he grew up in#(also in canon he usually does not want to navigate relationships healthily because. again. he sucks!)#so the only lasting relationship he's ever had where he isn't trying to hurt someone is still just... messy as hell#(and to be fair kryptos is also a p. bad person by adulthood it's just that they're pretty young at this point in the fic)#(so there's less avenues to show that)#kryptos being desperate for any scrap of attention and bill providing the only attention he's ever gotten was always the vibe#but it really was much more of a 'bully and bulling victim who he lets hang around him because said victim'#'is like the only one willing to talk to him' dynamic which is... very much not the case anymore#as said in the tags of my fic. these awful shapes care about each other as best they can care about anyone#anyway sorry idk how much anyone really cares about these tag essays but theyre helpful for me to get my thought process like... down#and track how different the story used to be
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UPSET THAT I CANNOT REPLY TO A POST WITH AN IMAGE. I AM SITTING HERE LIKE THIS THINKING ABOUT VASH/CPHIL PARALLELS:
IM GONNA REPLY TO THIS WITH MY CPHIL/VASH COMPARISON ANALYSIS. BECAUSE THE BRAINROT HAS SET IN AND IT'S KILLING ME.
OK OK ALRIGHT. OK. so first of all. cphil and vash the stampede. angel imagery. lost their best friend. lost their family. lost their home. extreme family issues. vash has a missing arm and phil has a wrecked wing. vash can't use his powers at the end of trimax and phil can't fly anymore. crying. ok so now we've got these fuckin parallels right. ok i'm gonna get into their classpects because they are so similar but so different. this is gonna b under a cut this got away from me i'm so sorry i could talk classpects for HOURSSSSSS
so cPhil to me is a Seer of Life, right? Seers are supposed to guide their fellow players on the right path. cPhil TRIES to do that. right. like he TRIES. but god he is so bad at it. he's so disconnected from mortals in general that he just doesn't know how they work. he thinks they're all doing things wrong and they just need some guidance to do it right!!! and Vash is a Muse of Life to me. lots of parallels here between him and Calliope (seen in this post where i delve into Vash and Knives' classpects).
They're both Life players with the same goals, but with vastly different ways they go about achieving those goals. they just want peace for everyone else, but god they are both so fucking bad at it. they are at opposite ends of a morality scale here. Vash's main focus is keeping people alive and it doesn't matter what he has to do to keep it that way, no matter what happens to himself or whether keeping one guy alive will indirectly result in the deaths of others. Phil's main focus is establishing peace, and he doesn't care what he has to destroy in the meantime to do that, as long as it doesn't harm himself or the people he's close to. To Vash, the ends justify the means. He can sacrifice his own wellbeing to keep others safe as long as no one else gets hurt while he's there. To Phil, the method of getting to his goal matters just as much, because instead of looking at it as just "the ends justify the means" he sees it as "everything i do pushes myself towards achieving what i want, my goal will never be reached without these actions so i might as well do what i want and maybe the destruction will teach everyone a lesson along the way" LIKE HE'S SO FUCKED UP <3
cPhil is so derse dreamer and Vash is so prospit dreamer. THAT'S the big difference!!! they see their actions very differently and that's partially why they act so differently when they have the same goals. Lunar sways are difficult to analyze because there's so much nuance to them, you could have a lot of Prospit traits but have one extremely different trait that could make you a Derse dreamer instead. like it's so weird??? but I once saw a post that summarized it like this: For Prospit dreamers, the end result is more important than the methods it takes to get there; for Derse dreamers, the journey is just as, if not more important, than the end result. Phil HAS to be a Derse dreamer, bc to him his journey is neverending. He's an immortal who has been alive long enough to know that not everyone will see his logic, and he will spend the rest of his life either convincing them to see his ways or he will get rid of those people entirely. To Vash, if he can just convince enough people, if he can just get to others before the destruction occurs, if he can TALK to enough people, maybe the violence will stop one day. It's an IMPOSSIBLE goal, but he keeps trying to look towards that one day where he'll be able to look out at a paradise without death and violence (much like Callie in a lot of ways BUT I'VE ALREADY GONE OVER THAT!!!).
Phil, as a combination Seer and Derse dreamer, knows that the journey is neverending, and he's either given up on pacifism or never tried it in the first place. He SEES that his ideals are not universal, and that knowledge gives him the ability to be apathetic towards other people and destroy what they love to "teach them a lesson." Vash, as a young spry century-and-a-half years old, and as a Muse and Prospit dreamer, still thinks that he can reach his goal of world peace, even though that hopes fades more and more from day to day, but like. his speech near the end of tristamp ep 12 to Knives?? About how he'll just keep going no matter what??? He's not giving up on his ideology because he doesn't SEE. He doesn't KNOWWW that his ideals cannot be universal. Ofc this changes later on in Trimax and he finally takes direct action by killing Legato and gives up on his staunch pacifism, but like. my guy. it took you a LONG ASS TIME to get to this point. my god.
Life players are described as "concerned with the betterment of themselves and those around them, as well as the onward march of positive progress... They also have the tendency to put other's needs before their own, which never ends well for anyone, because the Life-bound can grow bitter if they feel their own self-care has had to be shunted aside. At their best, they are great listeners, caretakers, and nurturers. At their worst, the Life-bound are passive aggressive, and pushy-they're certain they know best.” Both cPhil and Vash are the best and worst of their aspect. They both grow bitter, Vash in Trimax from having to take the high road all the time, and Phil from thinking that no one can see that he knows best. They do listen, and they do care for and nurture others, and they work towards the betterment of others, but sometimes it's people who don't want to be nurtured or bettered. Vash tries to help people who don't want help, and Phil babies cWilbur when he comes back and his "help" towards cTommy is um. not great!! They can both be passive aggressive, and they're both so incredibly sure that they know best. They're both so incredibly stuck in their ways.
Phil is the most stubborn Seer ever, because he only wants to see what will benefit his own life and ideals, not everyone. And Vash, the Muse, keeps on his one-track thought process and resigns himself to doing what he's always done (much like Callie) instead of taking direct action to TRULY change others' lives for the better. They both do finally change this in the very end of their arcs, with Phil reaching out to Niki and retreating to the End with her, Connor, and Kristin, giving up his old lifestyle to help a couple of people he's only known for a couple years and genuinely cared about for much less, basically a blink in his immortal lifespan, and Vash killing Legato to save Livio and Razlo and confronting Knives head on to save the planet.
but like. FUCK, you guys took so long to get just to this point. you are so stuck in your ways you have PROBLEMS
#trigun#dsmp#whiskeys word soup#mcyt classpects#<<this has 2 go in my classpect tag bc it summarizes my cphil seer of life thoughts completely#ALRIGHT. WELL. THAT GOT AWAY FROM ME. BUT UMMM. YEAH.#anyway im gonna rotate these two around in my brain for a few hours <3#i almost want to write a silly little crossover fic where these two just get to sit down and chat. yk?? like. let em talk#chat about their ideals and their immortal lives and how it's affected both of them yk??? sad immortal guys club#I FUCKING LOVE CPHIL I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE HAS PROBLEMS I WANNA PUT HIM IN A FOOD PROCESSOR <3
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Diona is extremely touch averse, but once she gets comfortable, she will get clingy. And she will get a little moody if she's not able to be.
#hc; diona#//She loves Draff dearly; but it's been AGES since she could really hug him without the reek of booze repulsing her#//And those others she's okay with it are very few and in between#//Prior to Traveler; they were (least to most comfortable): Kae (when not drinking); Lisa (not drinking); Margaret (not drinking) & Klee#//Traveler did worm their way right into her heart tho; she likes them loads. Them and Sucrose#//Shuyun; she doesn’t know how to feel about. It deffo varies; but she likes him for the most part. Not enough for hugs tho#//but yeah. ANYWHO; once she DOES find someone Worthy and there's an open shot to hug them?#//It's like when you hug your cat after awhile apart and they dig their little claws in so you can't pull 'em away#//She does that a LOT. Just Won’t let go until she has her fill. Or they make her so do#//If she's unable to hug them; at or or to how much she wants to; she WILL be temperamental and fussy#//Though certain workarounds do help#//Like being wrapped up in something with their smell; it's close enough to a hug#//Minus the body heat and soothing pressure#//She also really REALLY loves rubbing faces. Quickly in that; and even without a hug; she'll be a little satisfied#//Is her preferred greeting with those Special People. She also love love LOVES little head bunts#//And WILL do so seemingly unprompted to folks especially dear to her#//So if she seemingly headbutts you out of nowhere? Congratulations! You are (one of) her favorite person!#//She really craves affection So Much. but is VERY selective form who; & those WHO gotta know she WILL get attached#//Literally. And she WILL NOT let go#//Pls be gentle with her; she really does mean the best
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Maybe this makes me a bitch but I literally couldn’t care less abt talking abt fandom stuff or things I like with anyone anymore
#₊˚⊹🏷️ from em#em thinks (too much)#q#my misery doesn’t make me a v nice or kind person unfortunately🗿#am working on that🤓🤓#I don’t see the point in talking abt anything tbh🤣🤣#makes me feel worse every single time🤣🥰#kind of sick of associating things with ppl ik or a fandom and it affecting my enjoyment of said thing#maybe that’s a bit dramatic but anyway i’m clinging to things that I keep to myself or enjoy from afar#I’ll just enjoy whatever by myself#who told me watching smth like nana w someone was going to end up good#not gonna introduce anyone to anything again lmfao#just one example but whejejks#I don’t want to share any thoughts abt anything let alone share thoughts abt things that make me happy#bc those will be taken away too#I promise I haven’t always been this bitter of a person
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