#i love them very much that server saves my life

[nevermorgue]

Hello Hayley! I've been binge reading your Nevermore headcanons and I LOVE every single one. If you're taking requests, may I ask for some Montresor and Morella friendship headcanons please? I feel like they would tease each other, but be able to bond over a shared love of food. Thank you for all of your work :D

YES!!! I was so inspired by pluto’s morella and monty platonic art in the server. i love the idea of them getting along. but to start, i’m gonna be evil

- Obviously things wouldn’t go so great. Morella doesn’t like him and actively stands up against his nonsense. Montresor probably only sees her spectre, really. He understands that her defense skills are necessary. Probably thinks she’s too kind hearted. Probably also thinks she’s stupid to some degree, but not entirely because of how she stood up to him.

- I can only imagine their relationship changing if Morella just kinda forced herself to tolerate him to keep the peace as much as possible. She doesn’t want unnecessary problems to arise (like the wall thing) nor does she want to feed into what he wants (her to snap/react)

- So her method is to attempt to treat him the way she treats everyone else. Montresor finds it amusing, using her kindness against her and purposely being worse to get her to break.

- That backfires. He’s trying to put her on a Will/Ada level, but Morella is too headstrong to be fooled. She’s kind to be kind, and his pleasantries don’t work on her. If anything, she’s more responsive when he drops the whole charisma thing- because he’s being REAL.

- With this dynamic established. Imagine. She’s a great cook. She ends up making a big meal for the misfits and is oh so kind enough to save a bowl for him. She knows damn well he doesn’t deserve it, but her continuing to be nice to him despite how horrible he is…it’s kinda like a game between them now. She’s trying to say she’s better than him with every kind act. And he’s not only entertained/mildly pissed, but he’s stubborn and wants her to snap and drop the act so he plays along.

- “Lemme guess, doll. Poison’s in here. Naw…maybe dirt.”

“Just spices and care, Montresor. Try it!”

And of course, it tastes fantastic. He says it tastes like shit and slams the door in her face. He eats the entire bowl.

- As time goes on, Montresor doesn’t realize it but he’s starting to see her as less of a game like his lackeys and more of a neutral company that he doesn’t really necessarily hate. And he can tell that their ‘game’ goes more and more stagnant as Morella becomes less faux-kind, allowing herself to pout or scold him. It’s become less of a “try to get the other to back off” and more of a natural sort of interaction.

- She genuinely asks him if he’s ever brushed his hair in his life. He proceeds to answer by running his fingers through his hair, only to cuss when he hits a particularly nasty knot.

- She just kinda tosses a spare hair brush at him. She’s not willing enough to touch him/comb his greasy ass hair for him, but at least gives him the means to do it himself.

- I do agree that they bond over food. They have big stomachs and Morella is just so good at cooking.

- Ada invites Morella to sit with her and Monty in the common area once. She was hesitant, but agrees after she’s encouraged by the misfits to go for some strange reason.

- But once the interaction starts, Morella can tell that Ada doesn’t really want her there. She keeps glaring and tugging Montresor’s sleeve, as she always does.

- It doesn’t dawn on her why she was invited until Ada spills it.

“Why did you want her here so bad, dear? I wanted my alone time with you…” Ada would whine. Ada doesn’t HATE Morella, but she’s still not very happy about their argument in the cellar.

Morella can’t believe what she’s hearing. It wasn’t Ada that wanted her here- but Montresor

- She grins. She has no idea what their relationship really is or if it can be anything other than a okayish neutral, but perhaps this moment right here is proof that Monty can feel something that isn’t cruel or unnecessary.

- And Montresor? Refuses to look her in the eye. She’s not terrible. But don’t get him wrong, it’s only because she’s in the middle. Not smart enough to be on Annabel or Prospero’s strategy levels, but not pushover-y enough to be of any use to him. That’s it.

[prettycottagequeer]

ok maybe I'm a little late to this BUT I'm gonna do a to-do list motivation thingy because I've had the worst two weeks since I started college :)

SO these I should start on asap:

50 I make the snack I really want but I haven't had the motivation to make

100 I clean my dorm. another thing I've been meaning to do for a week

150 I do the presentation about mid-victorian fashion I've been putting off (due Monday)

200 I start memorizing the monologue that was due a week ago (now due Tuesday)

these can wait longer:

300 I spend time outside. It's so nice but I'm getting stuck scrolling because I feel like shit. vicious cycle ect

500 I start setting a better weekend routine (aka getting up before noon)

1k I start working out again. I was doing a routine to get more masc and build muscle and I liked it but life hit me like Crowley driving the Bentley and I've missed like 3 weeks

2k I buy my first binder. I've been coping with sports bras for almost a year now and I haven't been able to justify spending $50+ on a binder even though I know I'd love it and use it everyday.

Do I tag people? I don't know but I'm going to. @the-globe-theatre-maggot @weirdly-specific-but-ok @howmanyholesinswisscheese

here's just some context if you want to read, feel free to skip. some of this I've talked about in the maggot server, some I haven't, but I really just need a place for this to go that's out of my head. tw homophobia, transphobia, car crash(??)

How I Have Been Run Over By The Bentley Going 90 In Central London What Feels Like 50 Times In The Last Two Weeks

I'm going to college about 4 hours away from my parents, and it's been really nice. They.. suck, to say the least. transphobic/homophobic ect, super traditional conservative catholic, racist, all of it. so i tried to move somewhere where I wouldn't have to think about them and I could be myself and do what I can to be happy. March 1st was the start of my spring break, which meant going home because the dorms close. I was already not excited, but I was prepared. the problem with being away from home is I forget just how bad they are. My optimism gets the better of me and I think maybe this time they'll be better. so I decided to not hide my septum piercing.

that was a mistake. it starts a whole fight where they say we know you're trans, you're actually a girl and you always will be, we have the bones argument, they think I'm being influenced by demons or something (if only they knew about crowley) because I want to change my name, and they tell me that going on t will completely ruin my body and give me cancer and other things. They're also mad about my dyed hair, septum, and general style, and say I'm setting a terrible example for my (5) younger siblings and make it a point to tell me just how much of a disappointment I am. I think I'm pretty cute and fun but y'know, whatever. very fun time. I lie so much, don't give them any more details about my identity, and say I'm not planning to go on t to save my ass. which is all on instinct which makes me feel worse because if I'm really trans I should be able to stand up for that, right? maybe I'm faking the dysphoria.

the next morning I wake up really sick, and spend the rest of the week sick and feeling like shit because I'm home and back in the same place and situation I was a year ago that I thought I escaped. at one point I pretty much lose my voice but also kind of get gender euphoria from it. it's weird.

On Friday it's time for me to drive back 4 hours to school, and I make it about 3/4 of the way when google maps takes me on a random gravel road and I crash my car, really crash my car, like sideways-in-a-ditch-windows-broken-crawling-up-out-the-door crash it in the middle of nowhere. (I was fully paying attention to the road, it was raining and super slick) I call my parents because I have no one else to call and I sit in a Subway for 3 hours while they drive to get my car. when they get there they're (understandably) really mad, and they tell me that I'm not mature enough to be going to school so far away and I need to get my shit together and stop depending on them. which. is probably true. but made me feel even more stupid about the fact that I crashed my car. I get back to school and I'm still Very Sick with no energy or motivation to do anything. So I've spent the last week trying to get better and honestly to do anything. it hasn't really worked. I'm a lot better health-wise (Not emotionally), still sick but I have a lot of work due, so I really need a push to get started

[oh-no-its-bird]

Look all I'm saying is that if I were going to make a minecraft movie.

Well, first off I'd put down the first person to even reccomend we do it in cgi. Not just because it looks objectively terrible and half of the magic and nostalgia factor of minecraft is in its texture but holy shit budget much??? You are literally looking at a situation where the cheaper option is also objectively the better option. What the fuck are you doing

But I mean, after that.

Second off, all my writers must watch popular smps and minecraft roleplays/let's plays to understand the "magic" of the game. That's how we're studying for this, not the game books or whatever. Those guys are clearly doing smthn right, and as the executive/writer who knows very little about mineraft that I am in this hypothetical scenario, I need to do my best to make money. And that means learning what people like about the game and community.

Maybe even bring on some popular (non controversial please god) smp writers for consulting. They literally make minecraft movies as their fucking job, they are the expert u need to consult

Story wise, you NEED to choose if you wanna play this straight or silly. I'm so sick of movies trying to be all emotional and "ohh this world is so beautiful,, if u could only understand,, woaa" with their epic sound track and dramatic lighting, but then the dialogue being ripped out of a stupid marvel knockoff trying too hard to be witty

Anyways. Give me a generic "kid has a hard life and uses [thing] to escape it but then their parent trashes [thing] to teach them a "lesson"" movie.

The thing is minecraft and this kid is totally in love with letsplays and smps and has a server with their online friends (get a sponsorship from discord for that good good film sponsorship money, have them play while in call)

The mom or dad or maybe both trash the kids computer for some reason (bad grades maybe or one of those shitty "you need to talk to us more!!! That computer is killing ur brain!!! You don't love us as much as you should and it's that damn games fault!!!" But like it's actually just a kid being a normal fucking kid and having normal fucking kid hobbies things and the parents are dicks)

They delete the minecraft world rip

Them boom, kid somehow gets stuck in the game

Switch to NON CGI FILMING IN MINECRAFT. If you really need to add your stupid shitty fucking cgi then at least make it look like an ACTUAL MINECRAFT ANIMATION holy shit

It'll save us so much money too

So main plot is this kid, being trapped in minecraft, actually falling through different minecraft servers.

We can have different cameos from popular smps and youtubers, get some old youtubers and gameplay in here too. Get fucking dantdm and the diamond minecarts og series with the lab thing, it'll make the old fans lose their fucking MINDS.

The youtubers themselves don't even have to show up, just shove the kid into settings that are clear references to smps and letsplays. Have them wander through Aphmau's OG minecraft diaries sets or Sundee's lucky block series

The best part is that as backdrops, you don't even have to fully commit to "you'll only get this/find this interesting if you know these guys" bc if your writing is good enough you can still make people care by just. Introducing it correctly. Don't present it as "Aphmau's old minecraft diaries series world" go "oh wow look st this cool village,, woah I wonder who built this ,," And have them interact with NPCs organically

Meanwhile the parents go into the game after the kid to bring them back and we do this whole world hopping adventure where the parents learn that,, minecraft can be fun? Actually?

They find the kid and the kid is like "nooo I'm having too much fun the real world SUCKS!!!" but then we do that "it's cool to have fun and indulge but you still need to be present in the real world and do real people things too in order to have that fun responsibly" where somehow the kid realizes that moderation is good for u.

Maybe they almost die in game fr fr? Every world they enter has its difficulty upped a little bit till they enter *gasp* a hardcore world (oh no)

So like the kid learns that you can't just lock yourself in the room and wish the world goes away while you play minecraft for 12 hours straight, and the parents learn that minecraft is cool and fun and can be a good outlet and outlets are important for adults and children alike. And also that they totally pulled a dick move and they need to try to understand their kid instead of just demanding the kid understands them

Somewhere along the way, the kid ends up in their friends server and the friends help to pull them out of the game w the parents

We end the movie with the kid making an effort to be more present with the parents, and the parents also making an effort to interact with the kid in ways that they know the kid will enjoy and respond well to— shown a family dinner scene where the kid very eagerly eats their food while talking about school, then they all go to play minecraft together

The end <3

Oh right and if you seriously want Jack Black there so fucking bad then make him either the dad or like. School computer teacher who helps the kid use Minecraft EU to learn science (shows off that some schools use minecraft for education purposes) who also helps the kids friends pull them and the parents out of the game

Overall, lots of themes not just about how the game is cool and can let you do cool shit, but also about how the community is cool, and how it's provided so many kids and adults outlets to express themselves and have fun together

That's how you do a game movie

Anyways yeah, minecraft movie looks shit. Hire me instead next time

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting tubal ligation, eloping with my two girlfriends, adopting a cat and moving out, all in two weeks and without telling my mother?

🏥💍🐈🏠

So, I (F, 21) have been planning for a long time to sort out my life. I live in a European country, I'm in college and work part-time. For years, I've been saving up money to get financially independent as fast as possible and move out of my parents' apartment. I also wanted to have enough to pay for tubal ligation procedure, because I don't ever want children and would feel much more at ease when I'm certain that I can't physically get pregnant. My mother from the beginning was very against that idea, telling me I'll change my mind later and not to do anything permanent.

Two years ago, I've met two wonderful women, A (26) and K (23) on a discord server dedicated to our shared hobby (writing fanfiction). We'd been talking and messaging for months, eventually creating our own server and sharing our irl names and faces. It naturally progressed to a point where we chose to call it a relationship (I'm on the aroace spectrum, we're all neurodivergent and have a weird relationships with gender so it's not a traditional romantic/sexual relationship by any means). We're all from the same country so we met up a few times before deciding to all move to one city and live together. K and I are finishing our bachelor's degrees and A works from home so there weren't any obstacles. We found a flat and A moved in, waiting for me and K.

My mother knew I was bisexual and dating A and K, but thought again that it was "just a phase" and that we were only friends pretending to date for some reason. I love my parents, they are great and supportive people but sometimes it can be so exhausting to convince them of something when they believe they're absolutely right. So, I just stopped talking to my mother about my relationship and plans for the future. I visited A (and K after she moved in) in our apartment without permanently staying there yet.

A, K and I got an idea to celebrate us finishing college and A getting a job promotion by going abroad for a week. K jokingly suggested that we could visit another country and get married (gay marriage is still illegal in our country). Obviously, polyamorous marriages are not legal anywhere in Europe, but A told us at the beginning of our relationship that she never wanted to get legally married for personal reasons (but a non-binding marriage ceremony was fine with her). So, all three of us could have a ceremony and K and me could get legally married (the marriage still wouldn't be legally recognized in our country though). Then I also realized that I could get a tubal ligation in the country which we wanted to travel to (tubal ligation procedure is also illegal in our country).

I knew my mother would be against both of those decisions and I didn't want to argue with her the entire time before I left abroad. So, I just told her I'm going on holidays with my two friends for a week and she accepted that. I've also been slowly moving a lot of my stuff from my room in my parents' apartment to our apartment and was ready to completely relocate.

Anyway, the wedding went great (the witnesses were six people we knew from the discord server where we first met, who lived close by and could get to the wedding site easily), my operation went great, the trip was great, and just as we returned a friend asked if we wanted a kitten, because their cat had recently had some. We agreed.

When I was sure everything was settled, I called my mother and told her about the wedding, the operation, the move and the kitten. She was shocked and angry, said she felt disappointed and betrayed I hadn't told her about any of my plans, didn't even invite her to the wedding and that I damaged my body and would regret having my tubes tied. I tried explaining that I didn't know how she would react, that based on our previous interactions I hadn't thought she'd be supportive and that I wanted make my decisions without also having endure her disapproval. She cried, told me I hurt her and to give her some time to deal with all the revelations.

I feel terrible for upsetting my mom, but honestly, I think I did the right thing and that informing her beforehand would've ruined my mood and I'd have had to argue with her on the phone constantly during the trip.

So, Tumblr, AITA?

[scarrletmoon]

About Powder Blue

This is going to be long. There are going to be discussions of suicide and trauma. This is going to be a bit of a jumbled mess because I can't tell a linear story to save my life. Don't feel like you need to read this, now or ever.

If you're wondering what the issues with PB were, and looking for what's next, read the indented text and skip the rest if you want!

I've had a bit of a...tumultuous relationship with the OFMD fandom. I've made close friends and lost them, made even closer friends who've very patiently reminded me of my worth when I needed that. I'm at a point where I'm still struggling, but I'm getting better. I'm still working on not being afraid. It's a bit of an uphill battle, but I'm still pushing my little boulder. I'm not alone this time, which is nice.

I entered the fandom as a nobody. I had almost 50 fics on AO3 and two had mildly popped off while I wasn't looking, but I wasn't really known for anything. I was a fandom ghost, posting my little fanfics and sharing them with the world because I just enjoyed the characters so much. Like a lot of people, I dreamed of being known for something. I thought that'd be neat.

I'm still in a state of shock and confusion that I've written anything in the past 2 years that people remember and even love. It's weird to be in a place where I never imagined myself to be. I can't stress enough how much I did not write explicit fic before this fandom; in high school, I would've welcomed a porn ban. I was afraid of my own sexuality, convinced it was some sort of monster I had to control. Convinced I was dirty. To other people my age, I was a prude, naive and childish for not being comfortable with it. So I feel for people who lash out now, who insist that attraction is actually fetishization, that if we set enough rules, maybe if we resist temptation, we'll be saved. I see you, and I feel for you. I personally don't think that's a healthy way to live, but if you'd told me that 2 years ago, I would've cussed you out. It's really a realization you have to come to (or not) on your own terms.

Anyway.

I know it's tacky to talk about your own success but it doesn't feel real. I go back and forth, reading other people's work -- and my god, there's some unbelievable talent in this fandom -- and thinking "shit, why would anyone read anything I've written? My stories are kindergarten finger paintings next to museum masterpieces". I am learning, slowly -- very slowly -- that I can't bully myself into a shape I like better. I'll never abuse myself into the kind of writer I think I want to be.

The first chapter of Powder Blue was written on a random day of the week after work. I was in a server -- the first fandom server I'd properly joined and talked in, watching a convo about how funnyt it would be for Ed to be a middle aged sugar baby -- when I pulled out my laptop and wrote for an hour and then posted that chapter to the server. I hadn't written for five years before OFMD. I had never finished a multi chapter fic. I posted that chapter and went to make dinner, and assumed the Google Docs link would get lost in that channel after a few likes.

That's not what happened.

The next few months were...a lot. My 7 year old Twitter account blew up from about 200 followers to 1000 in a matter of months. I was misinterpreted half a dozen times. Suddenly, people knew who I was and had Opinions. Some of those Opinions were Not Nice. I was told to grow a thick skin and get over it. So I figured my extreme reactions -- physical shaking, intense fear, a spiking heart rate, like I was being chased -- were just me being weak. I thought if I just sucked it up and laughed it off, it'd stop affecting me.

Turns out RSD is real and not an excuse I was using to be a baby, and it literally didn't get better until I was medicated! Wild

(This -- "I'm just overreacting and everyone else is secretly handling it better" -- has been a pretty consistent pattern my entire life, so figuring out I'm actually AuDHD has been mindblowing. If you've been wondering why you're so weak your whole life, I've got some screening tests you might be interested in).

Anyway my point is, a few things happened over the course of 2023 that brought me to a level of emotional pain I've never experienced.

At the start of the year, I was taking a self imposed internet break, after being forced to apologize for a tweet thread about Izzy, where I'd made the mistake of suggesting that fans of his should consider thinking about why they enjoy his character, but to only do this if they wanted to and ignore me if they didn't. This was taken as me being a hypocrite, and accusing Izzy fans of being terrible people. I apologized, vowed to never mention him again, and left Twitter for a month. Around the same time, a few things in a very close friend group went very wrong. I assumed it was entirely my fault for misbehaving, picked myself up, and tried to punish myself into a shape that would be acceptable for other people.

It didn't work.

Since I was now marked as an anti-Izzy bully, I couldn't say anything -- either on Twitter or in private -- that wouldn't be interpreted as me trying to start fights, as me being passive aggressive, as me trying to send covert messages for others to decipher so they could come and grovel for my forgiveness. Some of this is my fault -- it took a long time to learn than my private locked Twitter account isn't a diary. it took even longer for me to learn that maybe the people I was hanging out with weren't my people.

During all of this, I was posting Powder Blue after months of tears, pain, heartbreak, frustration and stress. I still don't understand why people write books for work or FUN. It was the most horrific experience of my life. It was valuable and so rewarding but jesus christ did writing PB take a lot out of me.

So as I felt less connected to my friends, as I was trying to hide how I felt because I thought I didn't deserve to be upset about anything (everything is always my fault, you see, and if I just behaved better, these things wouldn't happen to me), someone came to me and said they'd noticed some issues with Powder Blue. I'll refer to this person as the reader.

I was more than happy to hear them out. And it's true that I made some mistakes. The environment that I published PB in was not the one that I wrote it in. I didn't read any other sugar daddy/sex work fics as I was working on PB. PB was never a reaction to those fics. But because of those stories, which had handled things is harmful ways, there was suddenly a responsibility I'd never expected to have. I've never done sex work, I've just spent a lot of time listening to sex workers and trying to understand the legislation and environment as much as I can as a lay person. And since I don't have a personal experience with sex work, I shared my finished but rough draft with the reader, who did.

The problem, ultimately, is not something I could ever have fixed to their satisfaction. The fic doesn't involve dubious consent on a level that I think warrants an archive warning tag -- I tried to make it explicitly clear that Ed never does anything he doesn't want to, and that he's never coerced. The issue is that the nature of Ed and Stede's relationship is inherently uneven -- Stede is rich, and although he gives Ed money that's his to keep, Ed still isn't as obscenely wealthy as Stede is. Ed is poor and has been for a while. He's good at whatever he chooses to do, but he's struggling. That's a very uncomfortable spot to put Ed in. I also put Ed through some things that I've personally been through, as a way to work through my feelings and to try and better understand myself. If I was acting like Ed in real life, the reader is right that it would be concerning. But, importantly, Ed's not real. Nothing in this story is happening to a real person. Nothing in this story is an endorsement of any of his behaviours or unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I still believe the reader had good intentions -- the amount of effort they put into coming to me would be utterly bizarre for someone who was just looking to be cruel for no reason. But that also doesn't change the fact that being told I was having a trauma response and needed to stop working on the fic immediately, pushed me into the most suicidal period I've ever experienced.

That's not their fault. I'm sure that wasn't their intention. I've chosen to not try and find out who they are, or try to contact them again to respect their privacy. Some of the things people said to me, publicly dismissing the reader's pain, were so harrowing to read that it made me feel worse for ever writing PB in the first place. They were right to stay anonymous.

I'm sure the reader never meant for me to have such a massive breakdown that I took down the entire fic and left Twitter (and a few friend groups). It's been difficult to understand that just because someone didn't mean to hurt me, doesn't change the fact that I was hurt.

One silver lining is that I did go and find a new therapist. She's great! And she also thinks that how the reader tried to bring things up to me was wrong. As the reader obviously saw, I have a lot of Trauma, so I'm still not entirely convinced that I didn't deserve what happened to me. I'm not angry at them. I appreciate their concern. I just can't do what they asked of me. In the end, Powder Blue was not a story that was right for them. And that's okay.

My point in detailing all of this, is that I stayed quiet for a long time because I didn't think I deserved to tell my part of the story. I was scared that when people said they respected my choice to take down the fic, that they agreed I'd some something impossibly harmful. People trusted my judgement but I didn't trust myself. But people didn't know that I didn't trust myself.

Additionally, reader can't speak on this without revealing themself in some way. I'm terrified that they might read this and say something anyway. My biggest fear is becoming the kind of writer who sees negative criticism and pushes on anyway, or even blocks people who disagree with me. I don't want to hurt anyone the way I've been hurt.

BUT I've been holding onto this for months. I cannot write a perfect fic that will never trigger anyone. I will never write a meaningful story that won't hurt someone, no matter my intentions. There IS a way to admit you fucked up, or a way to listen and disagree, without turning into a raging asshole. I'm struggling to find that line. I'm hoping I'm making the right choice here.

And honestly, I'm just soft. I am so fucking soft. I talk a big game but I am so soft that a single person poking at my trauma caused me to break down so severely that my partner was legitimately afraid for me. I am learning that this softness doesn't mean I should become a crueler person to cope. But it's hard. There are going to be people who see this post and think I'm being a whiny crybaby looking for attention and pity. And I just have to deal with that.

Anyway. All previous chapters of PB will be up soon. Read them or don't. I will do my best to add more detailed trigger warnings. And I would personally suggest that if you're worried about any of the content in the fic, to run these worries past a friend who's read the fic, because they'll know you better than I ever will. Please don't read Powder Blue if you think it'll harm you. I would rather have fewer readers than triggered ones.

If there's anything I've missed that you think I need to address, know that my inbox is open, that anon is on, and that I'm not in the business of retaliating against people who come to me with an issue, even if they're a dick to me while they're doing it. I'm not going to dismiss someone because they weren't nice to me while they were upset. I'm a bitch but I'm not that kind of bitch.

So. Thank you for waiting for this fic. Thank you for waiting for me. We've got something like 16 chapters to go, and I can't tell you when they'll be up, or if they'll be up soon. But thank you for loving this story. I can't tell you how much that means to me, especially now.

Love,

Scarr

[raticalshoez]

I'M SO. ILL. LIFE SERIES ETHOSLAB RANT TIME.

When Etho cares for an ally, he'll sacrfice something of his own to save them, and it often means losing things that betters his chance at survival. Survival is very important to him.

Like, he doesn't consider himself a protector, but DAMMIT man he's always protecting. He's said himself, "I'm not a protector, Cleo. I'm a runner." But when Scar threatens to forcibly take back the life he gave Bdubs, he rushes to sign that weird contract the wizard guy offered because he doesn't want Bdubs to lose his life again. When Cleo is being chased by practically everyone on the server, he refuses to disclouse her location, even when everyone threatens to kill him because he chooses instead to be loyal to her.

It's ETHO who parades around the server to try and save Bdubs at the expense of losing time to do a boogey kill. THAT will get him killed, and he doesn't even need to get a life for Bdubs, but he does. He knows he can't win a fight against someone like Gem, but he protects Cleo and Grian anyways.

He protected them with what he could do. What he does best is lie and deceive and manuver his way through life. He's a sneaky guy, not a strong one. He's a clever person, not a powerful fighter.

I wouldn't say Etho is particularly loyal, but I think that much is clear. Often he will prioritize his life first, even if it means that an ally of his gets hurt. He never outright betrays them, but as much as he cares for his allies, Etho still tends to be all about self-preservation. That being said, Etho still definitely cares about his allies, a lot. Hell, I didn't mention it up there, but he's also covered for and protected Tango from the hunt back in Limited Life. Man is more of a protector than he thinks he is.

Also uh...mind shattering thing my mind thought of while watching this week's session.

"I'd fail for you, yes."

"That's nice."

"Say you'd fail for me--"

"I don't know if I would go that far, Bdubs."

...

"Etho's just a survivor, Bdubs. He has no loyalty to you."

"Yeah, he's just a survivor man. That's all he does."

"...He loves me. He cares...he does!"

I'M SICK. I'M SO ILL.

[wanderingaldecaldo]

An open letter to the Cyberpunk fandom in general, and a few people in particular

It’s time to clear the air, and I want to take responsibility where appropriate.

Before we get into the recent drama, a history lesson is in order, both for the newer people in fandom and for those who have been around and just haven’t heard things from my side. This might be long with all the linked posts, so buckle up.

I don’t talk much to people about my experiences in fandom for several reasons — first, I don’t like to talk about others with people I don’t know; gossiping with friends is one thing, but otherwise it’s an undesirable trait. Because I’m human and fallible and absolutely capable of failing to meet my own standards, I have violated that rule, and it rarely does anything good. Second, even when I do share, people don’t tend to believe me because the responsible party, PinkyDude (PKD), has been “so nice” to them. “Surely there was a misunderstanding” is the most common response. 

No, there’s been no misunderstanding. He has harassed me repeatedly, both directly and indirectly, and has deleted most of the posts he’s made or reblogged from his friends/mutuals/followers that would serve as proof of this harassment. I could dig up old screenshots that people sent or I saved myself after being told of a post’s existence, but honestly I don’t want to go through that dreck again; my mental health is worth more to me than that. Instead I’ll present in my own words what happened to me over the last three years. I have spoken publicly about him three times before now — four if you count my response to the anon, which never referenced him or his ship. All of those posts are still visible and will be linked. I told you this would be a long read, but you need the context.

I joined Tumblr in spring/early 2021, back when I only wrote fic and played on console. PKD blocked me the first time I posted my fic, as is his right. As I was new to Tumblr, I didn’t understand the Tumblr app was actually telling me I was blocked whenever I clicked on the links on Discord, so I thought it was just bad software. Spoiler: it’s still bad software (affectionate). When I found out I was blocked, I was upset; I didn’t know about RSD at the time. I sent one anon asking why he blocked people; I was just a lowly AO3 author and he was the big, popular modder, and I was baffled and very upset and should have closed the browser, to be honest. He answered and explained why he blocked people (totally valid!! I will continue to emphasize that!) and shared how blocked people could still view his blog in a number of ways. Honestly, it was too much work for me to go through all of those steps, so I moved on with my life.

Not long after, he did unblock me for a few weeks and posted how someone had shown him how to filter posts. He messaged me to tell me I was unblocked, and we exchanged a few courteous messages. I believe I asked if it would be okay if I followed him. I know he expressed concern about me feeling discomfort at his ship. I don’t remember my exact response but I said I thought they were cute. That was the whole point of me joining fandom — I want to share love for blorbos! Things were civil, as far as I knew, though based on his comments later, it seems he and I had two completely different experiences. Where I believed I was polite and tried to be respectful to someone who had established boundaries, he accused me of being spiteful and vengeful. Soon after I started taking my own VP (with Mitch) he blocked me again. He sent a message to apologize that he needed to do it, and made a vague post that was directed to me, I assume, as it was something like “Sorry I tried” or whatever, and I moved on with my life, or tried. I still saw his Mitch pics in Discord servers when people shared them, though I saw fewer that were just Mitch alone.

The first time I spoke about PKD was Fall 2021, during the “not PKD approved” debacle, where someone (a follower of his! Not my follower! I cannot stress that enough!) reblogged a gif of Val and Mitch with the tag “not PKD approved.” I shared a screenshot with friends because, uh, that’s what you do, right? That’s what anyone would do — share a screenshot of an offensive tag with friends. One of those friends, a writer who had published Mitch/V on AO3 and also received anon hate on their Mitch fics, thought it was funny and used it for their Discord status. Someone shared that status with PKD, and he made vague accusations about who started the hashtag. 

I publicly defended a person who thought they were being accused, a friend at the time, and made the only statement about him that I regret and would take back — I commented on his propensity for reblogging posts that emphasize having the right to block people. I shouldn’t have said that, it wasn’t appropriate, and I apologize. Of course everyone has the right to block people for whatever reason they want. I disagree with what I said then and retract it now. 

Back to how I was targeted... Remember that it was my post that someone tagged with another person’s name; another person who had me blocked because of their jealousy about seeing anyone else with Mitch. I never named the person who tagged my post, yet I was deemed the perpetrator. Many months later, Zwei DMed me when we shared a small server to offer the most non-apology apology ever for telling people that I started the hashtag. Thanks, Zwei! Almost makes up for the other lies you told about me!

The second time was my response to the anon I got trying to “educate” me after the Pawel stream. I never referenced PKD or his ship. We’ll come back to this more in-depth later because it’s what PKD keeps using to harass me.

The third time I spoke publicly about PKD was when Silvay (sp?) posted first on Twitter, then later Tumblr. I posted a follow up the next day. I debated not saying anything. I’m an avoidant person. I don’t like conflict. I have a loud bark and no bite. My former team members can attest to this. But when I do... I don’t make public statements I’m not willing to defend, which is why everything I have linked is still published.

I do recommend stopping to read the posts linked here, and even the other posts I reblogged at the time from other people who shared their own experiences with PKD and the fandom. As I said, I don’t make public statements I won’t defend; or at least apologize and issue a public retraction. But, if you want to stay with the present and would rather have the TL;DR: I was regularly vagued about by PKD or his friends/followers, calling me transphobic and homophobic; one accused me of corrective rape; and I got tired of it.

I thought that posting publicly might bring some closure. It was cathartic to finally get it out and stop carrying that shame, and it was reassuring to hear from people who had similar experiences. At the same time, quite a few people made their own posts along the lines of “HE WAS ALWAYS NICE TO ME”. 

Oh, but he’s always been nice to me!

Look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you truly believe he would be nice to you if you shipped with Mitch. Do you really believe he would? Do you think he would “block and move on” with you, unlike how he did with me?

None of those people shipped with Mitch, or other characters that people in his clique were protective over. A few months later he made a post saying not to tag me with him, and listed off every screenname I had used since I joined fandom, including the very first tumblr name I was assigned in 2021 and kept for several months because I thought it was funny. How’s that for a dog whistle? Want PKD’s attention? Better not tag wash!! [I’m sure there’s a screenshot somewhere but again, I didn’t have the energy to find it.]

By the way, why do I know all this? If I’m blocked, I shouldn’t see anything he posts without circumventing “the system”. We are mutually blocked and I don’t spy on him, or have my friends spy on him. I always knew what was going on because people were always quick to let me know anytime he was vaguing about me. “Friends” who were really concerned about the latest thing he said about me, or thought it was just terrible how people were always attacking my ship and wanted to share that feeling with me, but they only shared those thoughts in private. Slowly I separated myself from people who felt the need to keep me updated on drama, or some of them separated themselves from me and became friends with PKD, to the point that either nothing happened for some time or I just stopped seeing it, at least until last fall.

The last time I talked about him publicly was when I wrote about Fem V Friday in Fall 2023. Through the usual chain of vague posting about vague posts, a third person wrote a vague post and cast aspersions on the origin of Fem V Friday, suggesting it was created out of jealousy. PKD helpfully weighed in about a person named “W”  starting FVF from jealousy and spite, and implied he’s seen things I’ve said about him. I’d love to know what I’ve said, the context in which it was said, and the context in which he was told about what I said. 🤷

My post in response didn’t reference the vague post that spurred its creation, nor what PKD said about me, even though PKD must know my intentions and history better than me. I wrote about my love for Fem V and what drove my continued involvement week to week.

Despite my attempts to keep to my own corner or defend my name, PKD continues to defame and harass me. He has repeatedly dragged other people into his drama, sometimes my friends, just as he did in May when he brought up my anon response again. 

It was over two years ago now that I received the anon to “educate” me on Mitch being gay. I have never believed PKD sent the anon, despite his implications, and I have certainly never told anyone that he did.

Two years ago, a coward came into my inbox on anon and tried to bully me, and instead of spending a day writing five thousand words on “death of the author” and what constitutes canon and refuting the argument that I didn’t want to have, I used that energy to write about my ship in my favorite genre (smut) and published a fic on AO3. Neither my fic nor my response on tumblr referenced Mitch being gay or PKD’s ship. Before we go further, I encourage you to watch the relevant clip from the Pawel stream. It’s only 30 seconds of your time, but those 30 seconds are what PKD and others have used to justify their harassment of me.

The transcript for anyone not inclined to watch:

PKD: Am I right to overanalyze every detail in every place like the gay romance novel in Mitch's tent? Is that intentional? Pawel: My friend, on this stream, you could have learned already that everything is intentional...

The “gay romance novel in Mitch’s tent” is 1000 Beats Per Minute, a shard found all across Night City, nay, the continent as the shard/prop can be found in such locations as All Foods just after you meet Dum Dum, the foot of V’s bed in A10, and So Mi’s Brooklyn apartment. 

The contents of the shard are worth reading, if only for recognizing that the narrator is an ungendered person named “Alex” who is experiencing love for a man for the first time. Is Alex a man or a woman or neither? Whoever they are, Alex is having a queer experience, and to insist that the shard can only be about gay men is to erase a lot of other queer experiences.

Back to my anon response, PKD once again called my response transphobic and homophobic, though I will give him credit for saying he wasn’t calling me trans/homophobic, which is an upgrade from previous posts. He claims that I used the smut that I wrote as my response because I referenced writing “the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could”. I said “pussy eating” not in relation to anything about the claim that Mitch is gay, but as response to the intentions of the anon, which were never good.

The full context of my words: 

Not entirely sure what you were trying to accomplish with this message, anon. Should I pack up my words and keyboard and go home? See if it's too late to return my gaming PC because I can't take screenshots of Mitch anymore? Whatever your goal was, you pushed me to write the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could imagine. You know who wins today? - I do, because I wrote a shitload of words in one day and finished a piece that didn't even exist 8hrs ago - people who want more Fem V/Mitch content do - my meat husband does bc damn, I wrote 1800 words of smut today - not you

PKD is claiming that my description of smut I wrote about my ship is trans/homophobic.

The description of the smut I wrote about a cis bisexual female (Val) whose pussy was eaten by her cis bisexual male partner (Mitch). 

The smut I wrote about my ship, in which no one is trans or gay. 

You cannot apply the lens of PKD’s ship and characters to my writing and call it transphobic or homophobic. That’s not how literary analysis works. That’s not how social justice works.

The truth is that PKD and his mutuals/friends used his ship and beliefs to harass me. 

If that were me and it were my beliefs being used to harass someone on anon, I would demand whoever it was to stop immediately, not only because harassing people over fictional characters is awful and wrong, but good lord, to use me as the excuse? I would be mortified! Instead, PKD and his mutuals/followers used it as evidence of my being a bad person, and after several months of that, I borrowed Silvay’s courage when he posted on Twitter, and shared my own experience.

Now that we have the full background, let’s move on to recent drama and address the Flat Chest body and the wearable pecs mod, and what part I played in the process and when. This next part is for motherherbivore. I wish you had talked to me first. I thought I’d rate high enough for a DM. 

A Brief History of The Flat Chest Body Under Curation of Wash

I reached out to Na in March about helping update the Flat Chest body. I specifically wanted to update it to dynamic to take advantage of AXL’s dynamic clothing and, more importantly to me, reduce the number of clothing overrides I had to install for Hilary; plus I wanted to add toggle feet so I could have better options for shoes. Also I had another OC I’d been kicking around in my head, Grem, that I wanted to make using the flat chest. Grem did debut recently, but he changed drastically from my original vision for him.

Sharing the news with Kitty (shared with permission)

I started working on updating the mod in April but got stuck because I didn’t understand resource patching, even though I was sure it would be easy. :hidethepain: I tried adding the feet too, but everything I did resulted in a seam at the calves. As is all too common with my ADHD, I moved onto something else after getting stuck.

As I mentioned I was interested in dynamic AXL, and wanted to update my custom tee framework for Pride. With dynamic AXL, someone could generate all colors with all logos at once! (220, do not try this at home!) I included the dynamic version of the Flat Chest mesh in the upload to Nexus, even though the Flat Chest body wasn’t ready yet, but as a goal for me to also have it done in June.

I had the UV version working in early June, before the Angel body came out. I don’t remember if we already knew about the body’s existence at that point, but the community outcry against yet another unrealistic and fetishistic body mod sustained me in updating a mod that appealed to a small subset of fandom.

The message I sent to Na the morning I got it working

I got the UV version working first, since that’s what Hilary uses, then took a look at toggle feet again. After further investigation using both UV and VTK bodies, I realized there would always be a seam because the bodies were drastically different from the current body; they were completely different meshes underneath, and the seams would never line up properly. 

At that point I decided to release the functioning dynamic version without toggle feet, as I wanted to get it out for Pride. I reached out to mhb to test, as had always been my intention. For me Sanctuary is the most iconic OC to use the Flat Chest. After some technical difficulties I figured out that she used the vanilla version, and came back a few days later with a functioning vanilla version. I released my update once I had assembled the necessary files and pics from the testers, mhb included.

Later when PKD released the refits for his pecs, someone commented that the vanilla refits worked for the Flat Chest body. That’s been my only interest in his pecs mod — because people who use the Flat Chest were interested in having more clothing options. The release of the so-called “Flat Chest Detector” meant that Flat Chest body users wouldn’t be able to use the clothing refit for his wearable pecs, because it required using his pecs, which clipped with tattoos and cyberware — as is expected because it’s not a body mod, as he himself said on the mod page.

As the representative for the Flat Chest body, I agreed when streetkid-named-desire (Rat) asked me to be involved in the conversation with Berdagon about adapting their “Flat Chest” detector to recognize the Flat Chest body. Rat drove this conversation. I don’t say this to dump responsibility on them. In fact, I visited them last weekend and we talked through the situation. I suggested to Rat that I could have urged them to slow down, but they refused to let me take that responsibility, and at the end of the day they’re right — I can only control my own actions.

I do have one regret and one opportunity where I could have acted differently: when Rat asked Berdagon about the original script, Rat very explicitly asked whether the script was commissioned by PKD, and if so, Rat stated they were willing to pay to make changes; Berdagon never answered the question, and I wish I had pushed for an answer. Perhaps that could have prevented the entire situation; we could have stopped right then. While Berdagon never mentioned payment, Rat was so excited by how quickly they implemented the requested changes that they tipped them for the work.

Berdagon, the original script writer, owed PKD the responsibility to check in before modifying something that PKD paid for. Yes, Berdagon does have responsibility here as a professional who took money for a commission. When they didn’t answer the question, I could have stopped the process and pushed for an answer. I would have stopped things immediately upon hearing the answer that the script had been commissioned by PKD. PKD could still have been outraged at Rat asking for changes, but there wouldn’t have been fandom-wide drama about a body that only a dozen people use.

That’s the responsibility I will take — I, as a professional who works with consultants and freelancers, could have taken steps to ensure that everyone was acting professionally, including the person who received money twice to work on the same script.

Because I feel the need to be thorough in my explanation, here’s a simplified timeline of the release of the Flat Chest mod compared to the wearable pecs:

Late March - I receive files from Na for Flat Chest

April - I get stuck, stop working on it

April-May - I figure out dynamic AXL and convert tee framework

June 3 - I have a working dynamic UV Flat Chest

In response to outcry over the Angel body, PKD makes a poll asking what body types people want refits for and excludes Flat Chest body as an option

In response to people commenting over why Flat Chest wasn’t included, PKD explains he won’t support the body and that he would support a different Flat Chest body if someone made it

June 10 - I share the UV version for testing with several people. Two of those people, including mhb, use vanilla. I didn’t realize that, and because I didn’t name the file `UV` it took a long time to troubleshoot why things weren’t working

PKD releases the pecs

I share vanilla for testing

I post Flat Chest 2.0 before the end of June

I didn’t use you, mhb. I asked you to test because, like I said above and on Nexus, Sanctuary is the Flat Chest character for me. I asked you to test because I make mods for my friends first and foremost, and I thought you were my friend. I thought you were my friend because we’d known each other for several years now, and because of shared experiences and conversations we’ve had. I’ve been wrong before about who is a friend, and this one stings a lot.

I’m tired. I am 30 or 40 (or 50) years old and I do not need this. I have a career and a job I love, and an amazing partner who I’ve been with for a third of my life now. I have friends and hobbies in meatspace and friends who share those hobbies, and the real truth is, if I was actually trans/homophobic, well, that number would be tiny, but it’s not. I have a life that I love and that is full of joy. Most people in fandom only know the smallest fraction of the real wash, and I do not take pleasure in being targeted in a public fandom “feud”.

PKD, I say this with all the kindness I can muster for another human being who is clearly hurting: please get help. Go to therapy or see a psychiatrist or use whatever tools you can access. This obsession you have with me and my ship is not healthy for you, and your repeated pattern of bullying has hurt me and people close to me, just as your need to rehash old fandom drama hurts the community.

[tyttamarzh]

Midnight Ramblings about Missa (Or "character analysis focused on his seeking approval and how this influences his self-perception and in his performance") (Or "My boy just needs confidence and time to show how chingón he is.")

I have a thought… okay, okay, yes, Missa is a wet cat and he can't escape of that… but I think everyone underrate the ability of him for learn and improve…

When all came to the island, no one have nothing and everyone seems at the same level in general. For Missa was hard, but he adapted to life, he build a house, had an armor, went to mines and dungeons with his friends and even when others helped him, he always tried to make it on his own and search his own purpose. Everyday he gain more expierence and confidence and lost the fear to go out alone, he could fight for himself, he could survive. Then, when everyone was paired up to take care of the eggs and he met Phil, he tried his best for being useful, for help him.

He always does that, but this time he had just met him and he wanted to do his best to make a good impression on this new person in his life.

He had already done it before, that has a context, when he met the "Team Vacio Legal" (and was adopted), at first he was not considered part of the team, they treated him like an assistant, they called him his pet and they even told him that they would use him as bait, but Missa was so grateful to be with them, that he accepted all their orders willingly and strove to do the best for them (They were not just any team, it was the one that was considered the strongest and favorite to win, in fact, the winner was a member of this team). I remember that they ordered him to build a temporary house if he wanted to stay and at that moment he began to build non-stop, and he was doing it very fast, he was very concentrated on it, then Rubius, to annoy him, stand right where he was going to put a block and Missa stood paralyzed, neither of them said anything for a few seconds, until Missa, quite anxious, said: " Please, please, I'm just trying to do a good job…" and at that Rubius gave up the idea of joking with him and simply looked at him and said "You're doing very well" and moved, to which Missa He laughed and continued working until he finished. His dedication made everyone quickly become attached to him and at some point the line between being everyone's servant and being everyone's protected faded (even the 4 of them risked their lives to go save Missa's dog from acid rain), he went from not being considered part of the team to being the most loved by all of them, so much so that his death devastated them and they continued using his name as a banner until the end (ohh I really loved Extremo, sorry xD).

Even if Missa knows that he is not good at many things, he gives everything, he strives, learns and grows, to continue giving everything for those he loves, that is how he died in Extremo, helping Quackity (although Quackity did not even realize until later).

The point is, being with Phil, he helped in any way he could, he fought against the phantoms so that Phil could continue working and in fact he must have felt very good when the mission was "sing a song to the baby" because finally one of his abilities It would be necessary and useful.

Phil never had a problem with Missa in Chayanne's care. Missa was constantly striving to be competent and they didn't really spend enough time together for Phil to realize what Missa's level really was. The problem began when he was gone for so long, because everyone's level increased at the same time as the difficulty of the world, which made Missa's lack of experience very evident. And it wasn't just because he was poor and didn't have the resources to defend himself, as Phil thought at first, Missa missed out on a lot of growth and learning about Minecraft that he could have had if he had stayed on the server. Though he tries now, he doesn't He manages to cope with the current world, which made him tremendously insecure about his abilities, which is why on many occasions he no longer try and just lets himself die. Making it very obvious to everyone, even Phil, that he can't survive alone, since he's just a little wet cat.

There is something that I miss a lot about the dynamic he had with Spreen, you see, I know that many who watch QSMP did not know what their relationship was like and do not know why he is so important to Missa, but it is because Spreen never doubted Missa's abilities, even when no one, not even Missa, trusted his abilities, Spreen always trusted, he once bet on a fight that Missa had, even when Missa said she had no idea about PVP, he bet on him and to everyone's amazement, won and was like "I knew you could." Missa always tried hard to do things and get praise from Spreen, he saw him as a father he wanted to make proud and he jumped with happiness like a child when he achieved it and that's how he grew up a lot (Having the player who is considered one of the best treat you that way and praise you must be an incredible feeling).

Losing his brother not only affected him emotionally, it affected him in the sense that he lost that and that's why his self-confidence went down the drain, because when he fails he no longer hears the "calm down, you'll make it next time, champion" now he listens "Be careful, it's dangerous" "Stay away" and he is simply saved and protected by others.

I'm not saying that Phil is wrong to help him, but that made him somewhat dependent and added to his frustration at not being able to face the world alone, it made him feel like a burden to everyone (the fact that he doesn't log on doesn't help him). Somehow that made him have a kind of regression and he went back to being the fearful boy who needs to be taken care of, it's not even like in the early days of QSMP, it's like in the early days of Extremo, considering himself completely useless and stupid, struggling to try to do things right and receive some approval, but getting frustrated at not achieving it (which is why what Tina did in purgatory helped him a lot "Tina, better therapist than Melissa" xD).

Now… let's go to the present, because I saw something very different in Missa the last time. What happened in purgatory perhaps gave him more growth than we thought, not only on an emotional level by helping him decide to stay with Phil despite not feeling enough, but on a personal level. He said to Chayanne he had been working to be a better person (better player) and wanted to show what he had learned (now seeking Chayanne's approval), somehow he found that motivation again to grow and not just lamenting his situation (that implies that CC Missa he was really practicing. My friends, he didn't even do that for the squid games, he finished installing Minecraft and jumped into the water), that gives me hope that this time he is serious about stay and if he has enough time and if this time he really delivers with his promise to log on more we could see him grow and bring out his full potential (in Extremo 2 he was doing a great job until he died suddenly and became fearful again, in purgatory he was doing things well until he realized he had the wrong missions and felt sad and useless… he can do great, his ruin it is that he sabotages himself by his lack of confidence).

Possibly he will never stop being a wet cat, that is tattooed in his character, but I think that is precisely why everyone tends to underestimate him. I am sure that one day my boy is going to give everyone a big surprise… I believe!

I think my little late night thought turned into an analysis and then a Tesis, sorry about that… I hope someone finds my ramblings entertaining…

Thank you for reading!

[st4r-fruitz]

for my next trick, i will explain boat boys as if youve never heard of them, but im sick and cant be botherd correcting my spelling mistakes:

boat boys forst origionated in this minhecraft server grian (their frined) amde called double life. double life is the thirud season of an on going sereies called the life series or, some poeple call it the traffic series bcuz the lifes u get go from 1-red 2-yellow green-3. anywasy so bopat boys are joel and etho(eefo). they wweere paierd in doubl;e life. on he first day they got to know eachother and they made some jokes and stuff, it was niv]ce. actuually they ar ecalled boat b hoys bcuz they went arounf the server in boats. like, on land. it was very funny. the seconf session joel made a big boat for them to live in called the "relation-shipo", (get iot, get it? nudge nudge). etho went tyo the warden and joel sount very concerned as he did so. i dont remeber much abouyt double life as ive been binging limited life for 3 months now. they died due to a trapped nether portal. the perotral had lava spilled aorunf it. it was very sad.

also inportant fact: ther forst time etho and h=joel ever in terected on the whole entire life series they were in boats. they were both riding in boats. are u joking me. THATS SO FUCKING POETOIC WTF CHBFSHVBSHJBJHVKS

onto liml li9fe. they firat saw eachorther in the forst session. etho said "oh so ur gonna make a boat with a new friend now huh?" bcuz joel and jimmy had planned to live in the water. etho was very jealous ogf this, it made me sad. then joel saw etho ina boat with a co2w and joelk saidn "CANT BELEIVE YOUVE REPLACED ME WEITH A COW EEFO!!!" and etho responded with "he keeps me company atleats" AHAHDBFBHVBHWJJVSB JKSNNOOO. anyways in session 4, etho KILLDED JOEL!?!?!?11?!?!??! it was vwery cool actually. joe, clutchedf a fall, and etho landed in huis clutch water and saidf" YOU SAVED ME. YOU SAVED ME JOEL, SO NOW I CAN KILL YOU" that was very cool of etho. even joel daid himself to etho "the fact you landed in my own water bucket trick" i thionk thats everything improtant in liml life?

then serect life. oh, secrect life. my beloved. my onbe treu savior. save me secret life, save me. so, the two sigificant events of secrect life between bgoat boys i can remeber are 1: joel and ehto hop in ab baot otghter and joel goes "we cant do tjis ehto, the fandom will go crazy" (true( then vthey go for a lottle ride untill they are fiorced to stop by a blcok in. their way and ehto goes "well tjis is where the relatiopnshoip ens" HDGBDFISBFCHBES 2: scott is talk9ng abt his task for the sessions=] which is "say i love you to three plkayers and get them to say ot back" so rheyre discussing who would say it back, andf scott goes "i love yoy " to etho and he goes "thank you?-' HAHAH ayways so one thing leadfs to another and etho is on joels front door stepo saying to joel "i loive you" and joerl responds "uhh ok eefo i know youre obbesed with me i saw u made me the thiumbnail for ur fist bvidoe but cmon ehto calm donw" and etho is sad NSJDWBHJSDCJH im sad jusbjbfdn. its alot.

and now the decked o0ut stream. (ik th9s. was before secret life SHUTUPSHGUTPU) so, jimmy askes for a kiss from joel before he does his decked oyut run. joel goes "yeah sure. on the neckk" and jim goes silent till joel goes "WAIT NO ON THE NECK- I MEANT THE CHEEK IM MEANT THE CHEEK" nd it li9ke this hwole meme for the whole event. jimmy startes sing "etho and joel, sitting in a baot" and etho goes "kissing on the neck"!!!!!GSUGDEGUSDVJ!!!!then when they are at rens ice biat thgingy joel and wehto are sitting nect to eacher in thjeor boat s and etho goes "AWH GOTTA COVER UP MY NECK " joelsays "I DONT KISS [PEOIPLES NECKS!!!" then joel scooches up to etho in his boat and joel goes "schooching up to ya etho " and etho goes "his hand slowly reaches into my hair" LIKE EHTO IS HEE WRITING A WHOLE FANFIC OKKKK ETHO I SEE YOUUU. anyways rhat was very funny.

anyways. hermitcraft. oh boy. theres a lot and i will prpbaly misss a lot too but oh well its later and im sick and tired so SUCK IT UP. ill just do dotpointrs of the things i remeber.

etho sees jols banners and really like sthem and asks j]him for trhe pattern, whoch leads to many books which may or may nboit have been signed with neck kisees.

etho makes statues of jpel them pretemds oit wasnt him. joel rrqally liukes the statues and adds thjem to the front of hios nade awith his tori gate

etho so happens to be talk9inmg abt joel and joel hears him and goes "alsways talking abyt m,e eefo"

joel and etho are talki9ng and theres a camle and etho goes "joel mjust reallt like camels ciuz they goit the loonnnggg necks" and joel syags "oh for goodness sake" (ilobve when joel says oh for goodness sakes its like one of his mottos ayt tjis poibgt it so funny )

thatys all i camn remeber i migjt add mre when i thin k of it

thanks for taking the time to read this if u did (and u even could, oops) i doubt many people will make it down this far with reading it, so congrats i guess!! you get.. nothing-

[kizzer55555]

DP X DC School Project

So...I am part of a dp x dc Discord server under the nickname Jazz. Someone decided to post a Pinterest picture in the fanfic ideas channel. This is the conversation it created. I love this Discord server so much.

Eros:

Danny and Damain working together on school project together.

Or even Dani and Damian up to you.

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Danny and Damian just sounds so much more funny to me.

Eros:

Alrights 👌

BreKitten:

Oh my gosh, that's hilarious

Eros:

And they totally would act like this

Apricot:

crying lmao

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Damien: Why wouldn't we shop at [the expensive place]? I am an heir-

Danny: taps the paper 2k a month. You gave up your money to make me feel more comfortable.

Damien: Why would I care about your comfort?

Danny: dramatic gasp How could say that about your husband?!

Apricot:

Damian: husband?! what "husband"?!

Eros:

then proceeded to fight on types of toast and pricy vegetarian meals

Danny: look our family needs a balance diet, we can't live off vegetables alone! The very least we should mix it with some actual food like Ectoplasm.

(if Ectoplasm can be considered all kind of elements/a semi living organism since it revives things then any food brought to life should be counted as a beast of some kind)

Eros:

Also counts since Danny lived off ectoplasm for a fair bit of his life so he would see it as a food source

Eros:

Danny: me. I'm your husband, we agreed to marry to make it easier for the kids.

Apricot:

Damian: KIDS?!

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Danny: Danny Jr and Damian Jr!

Eros:

Danny: yes kids, don't tell me you forgot we had kids! I swear you'll say you forgot we have pets too!

Danny: shows the paper that says they have a pet and two kids

Jazz:

No wait, the ectoplasm comes last. Just the Wayne’s seeing Damian and this random kid fight about every single thing. Finally Damian comes home and says that they finally agreed on something.

The Wayne’s: finally. Looks like this is a good learning experience:

Damian: we have agreed to live off of Lazarus water.

Wayne’s: ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!

And the best thing is that they might not know about Danny being a halfa. So they think Damian is now corrupting random citizens.

Jazz:

Cause like, they both grew up with Lazarus water/ectoplasm and know the nutritional value.

Eros:

Indeed~

Jazz:

Great for child development too!

They both turned out great!

Eros:

Hehehe

Alright now both Danny and Damian are fully into this project now they have at least a agreed idea on food

Because the project they have is this; budget for every day living

So they have food set out

There is now trying to keep the house running and kids/pets alive and entertained

Danny agrees that with his skills he can do the majority of repairs, Damian agrees to take responsibility of the pets

They are now having an argument on how children should be raised.

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Damian is all for strict discipline, high standards of education, after school activities (he may not want his kids to be assassins but he still wants the best).

Danny's all for independence, finding your own way, encouragement and lots of love and support.

Damian: Do you want our children to grow up to be garbagemen?!

Danny: Do you know how much a garbageman makes?!

Eros:

Danny grew up around a lot of physical affection and love from his folks, except around the time of the accident/the holidays he always knew his parents loved each other very very much.

Damian comes from such an emotionally constipated house hold that he only gets the majority of physical affection from Dick

Jazz:

Lol

This is so perfect.

Danny then says something that puts Damian’s entire world view into question.

Danny: is this how you would treat our pets?!

Eros:

Damian: gasp how dare you, how very dare you!

Adonnenniel "Addy":

XD Danny, recounting the story later to Sam and Tucker: I swear, if he had pearls, he would've clutched them.

Eros:

Hehehe

Jazz:

Me imagining Damian going to Dick to complain.

Damian: can you imagine?! Raising kids and hugging them! Or saying it’s ok to fail!

Dick’s face.

Eros:

Damian complaining to his family: we might have agreed on living off Lazarus water, but now he wishes for our children to just go wild, then compared our pets to them!

Jazz:

Damian: obviously our pets would act nothing like those…savages.

Eros:

It just keeps getting better~

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Waynes are listening to this kind of like a soap opera

Eros:

Sam: wow Danny, at the very least your doing better then when you were partnered up with Val, like the majority of the time you were trying to pawn off raising the kid on each other until the flower was in danger, but I can't say much myself since Tucker pulled a Kronos.

Which opened a new can of worms; how much time were they going to take care and be there for their "kids" what kind of training would they go through

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Hehehe

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Danny: I learned from my mistakes. I wasn't ready to be a parent then.

Eros:

Their whole class and teachers are watching it like a soap opera

Eros:

The very least they get to see it live and not re counted

Jazz:

(Someone get popcorn, or they just get out their packed lunches early).

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Yes! The Waynes and Sam and Tucker get the play-by-play but the class gets to see the actual show!

Jazz:

No wait, someone records it and post it and then it goes viral. (Do they think that the Wayne’s make a lot more sense now hearing of how Damian thinks children should be raised?)

(Are there now more questions?!)

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Oooh. I can see people being even worse to Damian. Maybe pitying him because he grew up with so little love.

Eros:

Then the next day Danny brings up the issue of child raising again since Sam makes a good point.

Danny: okay so I've re think a few things, mainly on occasion the kids should get self defense classes or something like that since it would make most sense to keep them safe. But beyond work and school activities how should we spend our time with them?

Jazz:

People see the two about to continue their conversation and immediately stop what they are doing to bring their phones out.

What if this becomes one of the most popular ‘dramas’? Like, so much in fact even villains will stop what they are doing to watch?

Eros:

(because Danny comes from a physical affectionate house doesn't mean there was neglect from his folks working way too much)

Jazz pretty much raised him when it came to actual child care so Danny is determined to be there for his "kids"

Not just for the fun stuff or being pulled to random projects

Jazz:

They get super invested in this project.

Also, what if people intentionally goad them on? Like seeing them together and asking if a kid should be left alone at home or with a babysitter or what they’ll do during a blackout/tornado?

Eros:

Surprisingly it's Danny who brings a big book of plans in case if emergencies

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Yes!

Adonnenniel "Addy": - reply to students and citizens goading Danny and Damian on.

The teacher reworks their lesson plans to do an extended deep dive into home economics so that this can keep happening.

Jazz:

Absolutely.

Jazz:

Some of the emergency responses are normal like, if there is a tornado, evacuate kids to a shelter, others are strange like arguing whether you should fight the burglar or prioritize the kids. Others are just plain weird. A blackout? Both Damian and Danny will turn to face the questioner. Obviously they’ll be able to see in the dark. (Effect of ectoplasm/Lazarus exposure).

Eros:

Danny is even willing to share on the "in case of apocalypses" situations

Jazz:

Neither question why they know a massive amount of information about various world ending disasters/villains.

Eros:

Oh and how they should pack bags for school and for emergencies

Jazz:

Omg, they make a kid survival kit. Including blasters and knives.

Eros:

Danny insists they should put some of the survival kit stuff in the school bag

Jazz:

Everything a five year old should take to school.

Eros:

Ooo discussion on how old their kids should be to learn about weapons and how to safely handle them

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Danny: Eight should be good.

Damian: Eight is way too late to start!

Jazz:

The fact that both agree this is a necessary subject to teach their kids. Everyone’s reaction to hearing various ways you can kill/dismember a person and why this won’t work. Not because it’s immoral but clearly because young kids don’t have the necessary arm length to complete certain maneuvers.

Eros:

Damian: that's why we should put the kids into martial arts and gymnastics as soon as possible so  they can be flexible enough!

Jazz:

Danny: that’s why we should wait until their older and focus on their aim while young! Their muscle memory will be all wrong by the time they reach the appropriate age!

Damian: they will not always have a weapon to aim. The body is the only reliable weapon that will never fail.

Eros:

Now to add extra into the mix; Bruce and Jazz (who is now Danny's legal guardian) show up to school to pick them up as they are in a middle of an argument

Danny: and who will be the one teaching them? Because proper teachers will be expensive, at least we can teach them at home how to aim properly! It can be a bonding experience!

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Jazz: What are you talking about?

Danny: Teaching our young children proper aim.

Jazz: You will not!

Danny: I mean, you're obviously not going to teach them.

Jazz:

Damian: I can teach them perfectly fine.

Danny: what about work? You can’t be with them all the time. 

Damian: I can take them with me. We can travel around Gotham and learn to fight through experience. 

Danny: you are not taking our children to fight on the streets

Damian: what, didn’t you want us bonding?! Make up your mind!

Dick looking at Bruce. “This is your fault.”

Eros:

Danny: You're not letting our children out on the streets, they will put too many people in the hospital! You have any idea how expensive that would be!

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Damian casually dropping he's Robin?

Jazz:

Danny not even processing it.

Then casually stating he’s dead. Damian skipping that detail.

Adonnenniel "Addy":

XD They're too caught up in the roles.

Jazz:

Exactly.

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Maybe afterwards, if they think back on it.

Jazz:

Like vigilantism and the dead coming back to life is normal for them. They are focusing on the children right now thank you.

Adonnenniel "Addy":

And then they both come up with the excuse "I was just adding to lore, it was all pretend!"

Eros:

Not before this;

Damian: fine if you want to control our lives and children then we should just divorce!!

Jazz:

Danny: oh I’m controlling?!

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Do they get Alfred to be the judge to oversee their divorce?

Jazz:

Danny: fine, our kids and pets will be happier with me anyways.

Damian: don’t you dare bring the pets into this.

Damian going to Bruce to use the Wayne lawyers for this imaginary family divorce.

He will win this.

Danny actually going to Vlad.

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Vlad has been watching the whole time. He doesn't need to be brought up to speed.

Jazz:

Both of them are like, this is ridiculous. But on the other hand, my child actually asked for help from me for once.

Eros:

Hehehe

Danny uses Dani as an example of a child that is better off with him

Jazz:

Lol

Adonnenniel "Addy":

And Jazz even brings it up to Bruce that if Damian didn't get to play like this as a young kid, he might be making up for lost time, in his own intense way.

Eros:

Because that's what Danny is doing too

Jazz:

The absolute struggle both Bruce and Vlad go through on whether or not to actually do this and use up their lawyers, money, and resources.

The viral videos increase. 

Eros:

Danny getting frustrated enough that he is tempted to get Clockwork to be the judge

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Bruce gets his other kids involved? They play as Damian's lawyers?

Eros:

Yesz

Jazz:

Dick is having a blast.

Then Sam comes in for Danny’s defense.

Both Tucker, Tim, and Barbra (possibly Technis) get into a hacking war.

Eros:

Yesss!

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Yesss!

Jazz:

Cujo and Titus become best friends.

Eros:

Dani is still the example child

Jazz:

Tim is Damian’s example child.

Eros:

Peepaw Clockwork comes in a human form to judges

Jazz:

Alfred and Clockwork have tea.

And discuss their kids.

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Tim: I'm older than you! How am I your example child?!

Dick: whispers Hey, he's including you without stabbing you. Take the win.

Eros:

Clockwork: I do hope they figure this all out before their legit kids are born~

Jazz:

Yesssss.

Eros:

Danny: finally stops, going into a blushing and betrayed look at Clockwork

Damian: who doesn't know Clockwork sees the future what on earth are you talking about, we barely are keeping together for the kids we do have!

Gestures to Tim and Dani

Jazz:

Tim: I’m. Older. Than you!

Damian. Then start acting like it.

Danny: (trying to recover) tsk tsk, how can you treat your son this way?

Damian: he’s adopted.

Eros:

Danny: and she's a clone, doesn't mean they can't be loved and cared for as their own persons!

Danny: to prove a point he hugs both Dani and Tim, trying to smoother them with love and acceptance

Jazz:

Tim just looks so done with life at the moment.

Eros:

Danny: plus our pets are adopted, yet you wouldn't love them any less

Jazz:

Critical hit.

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Danny ends up adopting Tim by the end of this.

Jazz:

Lol

He wins Tim in the divorce.

Eros:

Lol

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Yesss!

Eros:

Tim gets a new dad

Jazz:

Bruce doesn’t know how to feel about this.

Eros:

This one says "I love you" and is into Tim's science projects

Jazz:

Dani’s like new sibling. Tackle Hugs.

And Danny doesn’t restrict coffee intake. He’s just as bad.

Eros:

If anything he shows Tim a whole world of coffee mixes

Jazz:

Jazz though. Jazz is a bit of a problem with Coffee.

Tim and his new dad form an alliance.

Eros:

Danny takes Tim to Frostbite to get a new spleen

Jazz:

Danny: see? I provide free healthcare.

Eros:

Then proceeds to show off Tim: This is my boi, I won him!

All while Dani is giggling and clinging to their sides

Jazz:

Vlad is looking at Bruce very smugly.

Eros:

Danny would show Tim and Dani off at school after this

Like: behold, my children!

Jazz:

It becomes public that Wayne enterprise’s CEO is Tim Fenton.

Eros:

(and since I'm going with King Danny in this)

That means due to Danny winning and Tim becoming his kid, Tim Fenton is now the prince of the infinite realms along with his new sister Dani

Cass and Steph come back from a big trip once everything is over

Jazz:

They ask what happened. 

Jason gleefully explains that Bruce went to legal war with another billionaire over an imaginary family and ended up loosing Tim to them.

Also, that Damian might have a crush.

Eros:

Jazz:

Lol

Eros:

Because he just went through one of the best non injury fights of his life with this guy

Jazz:

And lost

Eros:

Yet they do agree on a fair bit of things, and now know where their main issues are and can work on them.

Jazz:

The entire world witness this entire thing and there are going to be shippers.

Eros:

Pft imagine the Justice League hearing about this~

Jazz:

Also just think, when they eventually do get together. That high school teacher is absolutely going to brag that it was their project that started this.

Jon might have a crisis on being replaced as Damian’s best friend. Someone explains the difference between boyfriend and normal friend and Jon’s like, ok that’s fine then.

Eros:

Oh man, when Jon finds out everything that had happened

Jon would tell Conner

Jazz:

Conner hears about the clone comment.

Now Conner wants to be adopted.

Bruce “Kal-el” Wayne:

Absolutely

Danny be pulling a Bruce

Or would Bruce be pulling a Danny?

Jazz:

Omg, I just realized. Bruce Wayne lost a Custody battle.

Bruce “Kal-el” Wayne:

Major L

Eros:

To a child

Bruce “Kal-el” Wayne:

Ain't Danny technically a god?

Eros:

Still child

Who would definitely adopt Conner

BuriedReign:

Omg this is like a whole ass fic already, it’s soooo goood! I absolutely bursted out laughing at the “we plan to live off Lazarus water”

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Just got caught up and all I have to say is: 😂😂😂

Btw, I love the idea that Tim isn't legally adopted to Danny (by ghost standards, yes, not by mortal law) but he just goes with Danny cuz he's so done with his family.

Eros:

>:3

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Dani, Tim, Conner. Do we throw in reformed, de-aged Dan for shits and giggles?

Eros:

Pfft yess

And Damian only finds out about Dan after the divorce

This re sparks everything into a new battle~

Eros:

Damian is offended that Danny never told him about their other son Dan

Adonnenniel "Addy":

He wants visitation rights!

Eros:

Damian wants to win Dan, like how Danny won Tim

Adonnenniel "Addy":

That makes more sense

Eros:

Damian goes up to Dan and offers access to all sort of weapons, training/fights, being a heir to a different Kingdom, and possibly be ungrounded if he takes Damian's side in the new Custody battle

The Angst Queen:

When you catch up and burst out laughing

Also - I wanna add something

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Add, please!

The Angst Queen:

Damian would definitely pull a sword at some point - decide to attack and “miss” every time. He does not expect Danny to suddenly have an ice sword in hand. Do then they’re both going at it in a sword fight while still arguing about diaper brands

Damian - so then I attack him 

Dick - WHAT!?!? 

Damian - I know! He didn’t even have the decency to die! He pulled out his own sword! 

Dick in shock whispers - what

Damian - and he still refuses to consider Huggies! Insists on natural diapers!

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Lol

Eros:

Like when the arguments get too much they start sword fighting like the Adam's family

It's how they discuss things and keep up reaction times for both brain and body

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Do they fight in school or at the manor?

Eros:

School, just to add more to the soap opera drama

And for the bats to keep missing the live actions of it

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Yes!

Eros:

Except Babs but that's obvious to know why

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Their sword fights go all around the school, interrupting other classes. The security guards or other teachers try to stop them but Danny'll just pull them into the argument. 

Teacher: walking up to them, trying to grab the swords Now, boys, this must stop!

Danny: leaps up onto a desk, put his arm around the teacher's neck as he's still fighting Damian Hey, you look like a reasonable man. Tell me, why would you ever want to buy a waste product all for brand recognition and not cut down waste and get reusable diapers?

Teacher: That's a very leading question and calls on a few logical fallacies-

Danny: shoves the teacher away as Damian leaps for an attack

Eros:

And this is where Damian's crush really began

It's one thing to argue and have different trains of thought

It's another to have someone actually just as skilled as you in the battle of the sword and the mind

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Yeeees!

Eros:

Danny: Hopefully the castle is big enough for everyone

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Tim: You have a castle!? O_O

Conner: You have a castle!? : D

Danny: Yep!  Oh, and you two are now royalty!  Don't worry, you won't have to do anything unless you want to.

Eros:

I wonder if Tim rubs it in his other semi siblings faces

Like Steph, Jason, and Damian's faces in particular

Bruce “Kal-el” Wayne:

Does Tim take a pic of everything in the realms?

Eros:

Yes

Bruce Kal-el” Wayne:

Or try to

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Tim especially rubs being royalty in Damian's face.  He knows he should be better but damnit, Damian was/is all high and mighty about being the heir to the League of Assassins and Bruce's biological child - he stabbed Tim over it!  Tim gets to gloat a bit that he technically outranks Damian now!

BuriedReign:

Does this increase Damian’s crush on Danny? Damian tries to ask out Danny and makes it ‘rational’ by saying of course he needs to be higher ranked than Tim. While also trying to hide that isn’t the only reason why he wants to date Danny

Eros:

(make Damian unintentionally ghost speak which reveals his true emotions and reasons as to why he wants to date Danny)

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Damian: I want to date him for no other reason than to one-up my once brother.  That's it.  Nothing else involved here.  Just pure revenge.  I will not let Tim outrank me in this life or the next.

Jason: Uh-huh. flipping to the next page of Pride and Prejudice  Have fun on your denial date.

Omg, imagine Damian formally asking Danny out on a date!

And Danny's like, despite the divorce, I want to give us another shot.

Eros:

And the plot THICKENS

That's everyone's reactions 😁

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Yes!

Eros:

Where would they even go on a date?

Ooo what if they went to the museum

Or an art gallery

Bruce “Kal-el” Wayne:

Or a date to the literal moon

Eros:

I don't think Damian would survive that well

Bruce “Kal-el” Wayne:

Ecto shield giving an artificial atmosphere

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Damian would take Danny to a museum or art gallery.

Danny will chose the next date and take him to the moon.

Eros:

Then definitely the museum should be like the Glenbow Museum

This is just inside the front entrance

It's called the aurora borealis

Because they make the crystals actually glow different colors

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Ooooooh!

Yes!

Eros:

This is a full on walk through section where you learn about the stars and First Nations

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Holy shit, now I want to go to the Glenbow Museum.

Eros:

Art pieces, and they also have a section for mid evil times and even mini battle fields

The Angst Queen:

Side note - I bet Danny makes Damian work to get that date

Eros:

Definitely

[shatcey]

Alfons and Elbert

I never thought it would be such a challenge for me to read Elbert's dramatic ending. There's nothing wrong with it. Actually, it's very interesting, full of dynamics and drama… but… Alfons not very subtly switch attention to his direction, to the point that I completely forgot about the main guy.

More detailed below

I really love Alfons. And despite that I constantly wonder what is suddenly wrong with my taste… I'm absolutely sure how wonderful he is and why I love him so much. Yes, at first glance he is flirtatious, slippery and real piece of… okay, that's probably enough. But underneath all this carefully crafted image lies a very kind and caring person who cares about others more than himself and makes all decisions quite thoroughly.

He's very good at reading people, he is very good at psychology and constantly uses it in work and leisure. So… based on that… There are several levels in each of his remarks and actions. It sounds like one thing, he means something else and even deeper, there is always something completely different, which even he himself doesn't fully aware of.

What we see on the surface

Alfonse suddenly called Kate a fool (and we all know what that means) and kissed her (then Roger did it on his route, he was very scary… damn hypocrite). He locked her in a warehouse (which is exactly what Elbie would have done). And when Elbert appeared, he didn't give him the key right away, saying that "she is waiting for a prince who will save her, and if he (Alfons) appears, he will be her prince."

The whole situation shocked me to the core. I laughed hysterically, asking "what the hell you were doing, honey?"… So I thought about it a lot and even reread it a couple of times….

How I read his actions

At 22ch of dramatic mad love ending, Elbert confessed to Alfons that he has nightmares in which he kills Kate. He was afraid that his obsession would cost her her life. And he was very worried and wasn't completely sure he could control it.

And a bit later… Alfons creates a situation (dramatic as usual, he doesn't like dramas, yeah, right) in which Elbert feels he could lose Kate, both physically and emotionally. Actually Alfons can take her away quite easily (I'm not trying to make fun of Kate's feelings, just… he understands very well how the human mind works and can make her think the way he wants. And in fact he has already taken root in her mind, she thought about him a lot while she was in that warehouse). And despite Elbert's absolute belief that Alfons would never take anything away from him, greed got the better of him, and he overcame his fear, rushed to his beloved Robin and told her about his fears.

And this is what Alfons intended to achieve, this is his second level.

And deep down...

As I said earlier… There is sadness in him and a little bit of jealousy towards people who love each other. He suppresses the desire, if not to love someone, then at least to be loved… And I think he really wanted to be that "prince", he really wanted to be someone she would love, no matter who he was and no matter what he did. But… he thinks about others first, so he buried this desire deep inside.

It really reminds me of Ellis. It was an event.. Actually it is happening right now on the Eng server "I wanna steal you", where he is thinking about his hidden desires, which he so afraid of. It's not the first time I've noticed this similarity. But I don't wanna talk about Ellis right now.

Again… maybe I'm really digging too deep, and there's nothing even close to it. Maybe Alfons is doing it just for fun, and he doesn't have any good intentions. But I doubt it very much. He continues to pretend to be the bad guy and asks them (Kate and Elbie) to stop trusting him so blindly… which says a lot. Bad guys never think they're doing something wrong, they never push people away for their own good, they never say "blame me"...

And one last thought… I know that we already have past chronicles with Elbert and Alfons, but I still have questions. I'm really interested to know why Elbert is so sure that Alfons won't take anything from him? And this is not just blind trust, it undoubtedly has roots. I wanna know what was it. What exactly happened. What made him think that. Maybe they will give us some event from the past… something like that's happening in IkePri JP right now…

The only thing I can do is hope.

(Cybird gods… answer my prayer… begging you)

[selodka-pod-shuboy]

I think 3rd life is somehow the best plot&system-wise. It's not based on anything, just my humble opinion. I have so much thoughts and they are all so tragic. Like. It was my first ever interaction with theese CCs, I went there blind reacting. It was amazing then, it was even better after getting to know them. Every perspective tells such a drasticly different story. You've got alliances formed throu death, loyalty and sacrifices, broken or cherished till the very end. You have 3 lifes, and that's it. No tricks or some help or twist from the gamemakers. Go apeshit or stay nice, nothing changes it. All your enemies can start from something as simple as a random punch or a shot or a pice of paper. So can friends. No one knows how the server operates, they all come from somewhat-friendly spaces, so every simple fact is a new surprise - everybody kills animals, and ends up suffering with lack of food&lether for books afterwards. They put effort into builds, bother with decorating(not to say they didn't in later seasons, it's just the attachment I'll talk later), fill the places with love and care, get attached to pets and trees, banners of all things. PROTECT THEM and feel sorrow and grief, once they enevitibly get killed or burned or blown up or DESTROYED. The rage is so innocent in it's belive, that they were wronged, that they should be avenged, and not that this is just the reality of the server itself, that that's just - what heppens. The story tells so much about betrayal, about broken trust, and friends that go mad, and almoust no one follows the "all alliances are broken after you're red" rule. You are allowed to kill now, yeah, but there was nothing in PARTICULAR, stopping you before. It is proven by the first death, that it was just a prank, that lead to all the following chaos. Scar gives Grian flowers after his second death, and Grian STAYS. Cleo sticks with Bdubs, calling his castle a toilet, kidnaps the desert lama, burns Joel's home. She goes for the king and dies in the blind rage . Bdubs makes and gives Impulse the clock, that will doom their hearts in the end. Impulse promises his trust to the Crastle. Bigb makes the cookie. Martyn hears voices, and Ren asks him to take his head. He takes so many lives. The Red Winter Comes. Tango saves the cows, only for them to be stolen, he gets shot stuck behind the fire. Etho's dark oak gets burned, he builds a woolen castle, for it to get burned multiple times. Timmy gives Scott a poppy, starting their marriage. They build the flower valley. Timmy DIES FIRST and aquaeres the Canary curse. Scott follows full of sorrow. Skizz dies second, full of rage, and creates the boogieman curse. Joel stays alone, with his dog army, and dies, leaving his pack wandering the desert. The cactus-ring fight. The siege of dogwarts. Battle of the Red Desert. All the monopolies. The state, that everyone leaves the server, the contrast with the start. It's like watching the 1rst anual hunger games, from a perspective of people, who know and love each other, but no matter their efforts, end up slowly spiraling into violence and distrust, spreading pain and destruction. Mu soul loves and aches for it, even though it was the very same thing that broke it in the first place, that took a pice of it and so it will never be whole again. It's so tragic. All this blood was never beautiful. It was just. Red.

[natureismynature]

Okay I HAVE to talk about Cellbit, Jaiden, and Foolish or else I might actually combust- They are just. So. INTERESTING to me it's actually insane how much of my brain they occupy. Most specifically, I want to talk about how they seem to orbit around each other's space quite a lot.

The three of them were the first who developed a strong and strange relationship with the Federation but in VERY different circumstances. Cellbit hates the Feds, but he infiltrated and chose to work for them in order to save his best friend. Jaiden isn't that fond of the Feds, but she is VERY fond of Cucurucho and has been confirmed as a past worker of some sort. And Foolish has neutral opinions on the Feds, but is willing to kiss up to them in order to get what he wants.

All three of them has and are currently working for the Federation for very different reasons. Reasons which heavily contradict each other, and they know that. They hide secrets from each other, they are cautious around each other, and yet, they understand each other better than anyone else on the server (BBH who has whatever he has with Foolish is an outlier and should not be counted)

Cellbit, despite knowing Jaiden and Foolish's positive outlook on Cucurucho (the bear who traumatized him greatly), still trusts them. In a way. He still tells them important information. He still lets them have a spot in his very anti-Federation organization. He still trusts them not to betray him. He knows them. He knows what they're capable of. He knows Foolish is smarter than he lets on. He knows Jaiden isn't just doing Federation tasks for no reason. He knows they are keeping things from him, but he still treats them like family. He still believes in them.

"Jaiden is one of the only people I fully trust"

"Foolish, you like to act innocent and clueless, but you know more than you let on"

Foolish, selfish, observant, family-oriented, Foolish. He's not an idiot. He knows how Cellbit and Jaiden's minds work. He knows how Cellbit overthinks, he knows how Cellbit strives to learn, he knows how Cellbit cares about his family more than anything. He knows how loyal Jaiden is, he knows how much Jaiden cares for everyone, he knows how little she actually trusts. And he uses that to his advantage. But he also holds that knowledge with respect. He trusts Cellbit to always know and he trusts Jaiden to always believe.

"I trust Jaiden with my life"

"Cellbit, I know that you know that I know that you know I didn't do it"

And Jaiden. Jaiden who cares about everyone but trusts almost none, has put her faith into these two sketchy men (and Roier). They are both very important to her, but she tells more to one than the other. She knows why Cellbit is so angry at Cucurucho and she knows why Foolish is so determined to befriend it. She tries to tell everything to both of them, but she doesn't want to be at odds with Cellbit, so she holds back some information. But she trusts him always be there for her, the same way she knows Foolish will always choose her side.

"I promise you my silence, Foolish. Your secret is safe with me"

"Thank you for coming, Cellbit, I knew I could count on you"

They are family, the three of them. They love each other. They care for each other. But they also weary. They know each other's capabilities and the secrets they hide. They have a dance they practice, Foolish and Jaiden always a pair, Cellbit and Foolish usually at odds, and Jaiden and Cellbit often cooperate.

They help each other despite their differences. They understand why they do what they do. But sometimes it's confusing, sometimes it doesn't make sense, sometimes they don't understand. And that's okay. Because at the end of the day, they always come back together. They always find each other. They always make it work.

There are a lot more things that Jaiden and Foolish hide from Cellbit, but he hides a lot of things from them too. And that's just how things will be. Everyone has secrets on this Island. Some too great to reveal for now.

[kiwinatorwaffles]

I found This is About a Stuffed Bird bc of you and its one of my favorite fics ever. Do you by chance have more suggestions?

hermitcraft/mcyt fic recs? :0 let's go!!

i get a lot of my fic recs from other friends since i don't really go out and search on my own all too much for this fandom. but there are lots of great works out here! i will be listing out some of my favorites :3 mostly hc but a couple general mcyt ones that i think are an excellent read no matter what. all of the fics i'm listing will be genfic without ships!

also i just realized a lot of my bookmarks are grian-centric which is funny i guess because i am admittedly quite picky about content of my other favorites and grian just tends to have the most content in the fanbase. hope that'll be alright

(i hope some of my friends and mutuals don't mind me tagging them for their works)

hermitcraft longfics:

the last days of the free angel of carrows by @theminecraftbee - loved stuffed bird? here's another great longfic by second! this one is about joe and cleo in an urban fantasy mystery setting. again, second writes our beloved hermits into an captivating au!

leaping and hopping on a moonshadow by @lunarblazes - a fantasy au by luna my beloved! pearl suddenly gains magical powers and goes on a quest to find her long-lost friend grian who might know what's happening to her. she meets a lot of familiar faces along the way!

Recall by @redwinterroses - hey, i was the artist for this one! :D mumbo goes missing, so grian and scar search for him. they find that grumbot has been up to some... things along the way. the fic isn't finished but i think the chapters red put out is worth a read if you don't mind leaving off on a cliffhanger because it really is super interesting

dramaturgy by wormcity - a universe where gem and pearl join in a season 7 that was never finished. mumbo became the mayor, but the turf war went so very wrong afterwards. admittedly i have not finished reading this yet because ummm short on time xD but it's super interesting with a lot of layers of drama(turgy hahaha)!

hermitcraft short fics/oneshots:

for trying. by @autistic-evil-xisuma - a stuffed bird universe oneshot of x and xisuma during their lab days. great if you want to be sad over the doomed brothers again :D

the wheels on the bus by sparxwrites - a hilarious post-s8 oneshot about grian being a little shit towards the watchers. one of the first fics i've read from this fandom and i still love it

a body is an object by ruffboi - grian is a mimic, and pearl's arrival in s8 shakes him up. she hasn't seen him in a while and is quite upset to learn that the grian she knew died a long time ago. a great read for familial connections and conflict of friendships!

Goatman and the Rift by TheDepressedCanary - doc's eldritch powers start acting up when the rift appears. what shenanigans will ensue?

other mcyt fics/crossovers:

late at night, when the stars don't look quite right by @lunarblazes - an excellent empires s1 and hermitcraft crossover longfic, where grian lands into the server and is discovered by pearl! very great worldbuilding and relationships, i especially love the dynamic between gri and pearl and pearl and gem :D

every new discovery is just a reminder by amaranthinecanicular - grian begins pulling alternate versions of the hermits from the life series into the server. he does save a lot of them, but at what cost? it does end on a cliffhanger but this is genuinely one of the most captivating oneshots i've ever read... argghhh

The Fair and the Brave and the Good by @slashmagpie - an afterlife smp longfic centered around the shelby, scott, and sausage. i have never watched afterlife smp before in my LIFE and this is still one of my favorite pieces of literature ever. the characters and worldbuilding is impeccable and perfect if you like something dark with themes of hope and renewal.

Two Can Keep a Secret (If One of Them is Red) by anonymous secretmcblog - a 3L oneshot! ren suspects grian has stockholm syndrome with his pact to stay with scar, but his expectations are wrong. a truly excellent read and one of them first fics i've read! i still go back to reread it from time to time

dog at the door by fluffy_papaya & iamsolarflare - a longfic where doc and ren take a trip on a van on their way to s8. ren, however, is not quite himself, and doc has to learn to befriend the red king.

devil town is colder in the summertime by @bananasofthorns - a oneshot from a 100hsmp/life series d&d au! team BEST ventures into a cursed evil fucked up forest. uh oh.

Interview with the Aftermath by @ranchersrevenge (wanderlasts) - the last life contestants are invited for an interview. the responses vary greatly.

stars, smoke, and stolen car keys by wormcity - a 100hsmp modern au oneshot where grian, scar, and joel go on a hike. it doesn't go quite as they expected.

the beehive state by amaranthinecanicular - a dsmp oneshot after wilbur moves to utah. tommy visits him, and the two reconnect. i have to say i stopped following dsmp a long time ago but this fic made me BAWL. i don't even think you need to know any of the characters that well to really enjoy just how amazing the writing itself is

Can't Go Back (This Time) by @duckmumbo (musicaltvbooks) - soup group goes end raiding and accientally finds themselves in afterlife smp. nothing goes wrong, surely! also admittedly i havent finished reading this either but roy i swear i will. this is a great read nevertheless and the soup group dynamic is impeccable!

TommyInnit's unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death by eneliii - on the train of dsmp fics, this is the superhero au longfic that inspired my own hc superhero au, vdhau. it's a lot of funny shenanigans with tommy and his friends. the fic does take a dark turn at the end, but that can be skipped entirely (as said by eneli herself) if you just want the wholesome aspects.

if you don't mind a little self promo, here are some of my fics!

it takes two to play (the game of mutual secrecy) - the aforementioned hermitcraft hero au. this installment is centered around xisuma and evil x as brothers resolving their issues through hero work and solving the mystery of welsknight's disappearance :D there are other works that are set in the same universe if you're interested for more!

how to form the ultimate besties dynamic: an unreliable tutorial by hypnotizd - a oneshot! hypno is a warlock who goes treasure hunting under the sea. he meets a guardian who later becomes his unlikely friend.

smoke and mirrors, the hunt perseveres - grian's arrival in empires s2 unwittingly brings the watchers' suspicions with him. cue jimmy freaking out and a lot of shenanigans.

ballad of etho’s lab - my newest installment! a oneshot about etho's storied life as the redstone god.

i'm also currently working on the sequel to the game of mutual secrecy and a new (well not exactly new since i made concept art for it) au called private detective gem tasey! these will likely be released sometime late january or february. have fun with these fic recs! i haven't been reading as much lately but i hope ill be able to find more if anyone else asks in the future. cheers!

edit: the fics are out! here they are!

hiding in plain sight (the meaning of trust) - sequel to the hermitcraft hero au! it follows an escaped lab rat trying to acquaint themselves with human society while avoiding suspicion and making friends with familiar faces from tgms ;D

private detective gem tasey: a rotten mystery in london - a hermitcraft detective au where gem gets hired for a case that spirals completely into drama and politics!

[kadextra]

q!Forever & q!Bad, comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin

(little meta rp analysis & appreciation)

Comedy and tragedy- complimentary concepts when it comes to the dynamic that is these two characters.

Their lore together is truly like a soap opera to me in the way it operates, entertaining in how goofy it is- I laughed so much during interrodate. They had a whole elaborate musical prank war over a stolen gun (which neither of them even had, they’re just too dedicated to the bit.) The first thing they say to each other after q!Forever returns from the nether is “You look terrible!” 💀 and my guy gifted a bloody chainsaw as the flower of the day to q!Bad in purgatory 1 which was happily accepted.

Even when the characters show attraction for each other, it’s usually through some ridiculous romcom thing. q!Forever is in love with q!Bad dressed as pink barbie and thinks photos of her are the best gift a person could ever receive?? 🤨 q!Bad daydreams about q!Forever as a lobster with blonde hair and a six-pack??? brother be projecting him onto larry the lobster from spongebob squarepants dude what is wrong with them 😭 sometimes I wonder how they’re able to do all these bits in improv and take it seriously, it’s impressive

The characters are not normal, their relationship is not normal, it cannot be viewed normally. the ccs know exactly what they’re doing in creating whatever *gestures* this is, and it’s amazing. over the top, cute, played perfectly for comedy

But the characters aren’t just that, you can’t have them without the inverse 🎭 like a punch to the gut after all the sillies, they really know how to do tragedy well.

I very much look forward to whenever they’re at the top of their angst game, bc they both LOVE to make their cubitos suffer. to an insane degree. My god these two can’t go 3 days with their characters experiencing some peace and joyful whimsy, they *must* rp their ocs actively dying, horribly diseased, going crazy

And they go hard with it. I’m very serious when I say multiple times during the lore I’ve had to get up and walk away to calm down because it was too intense. super special shoutout to the q!Forever first happy pills arc stream & October 1st q!Bad psychotic breakdown stream. I’ve never been so shocked as I was watching those live, the stamina to do highly emotional rp like that is actually nuts. some of the most angsty mfs on this server fr (the #1 spot goes to quackity though. hey maybe i’ll make a tierlist)

So when Bad & Forever bring the best of their angst ability into serious rp interactions together that Aren’t comedic…? we are in for a treat. that talk they had right when q!cellbit died to the code, the richas rescue mission, the election, voting arguments, post-ron kidnapping, colorblind test/therapy, flower of the day. many scenes that are seared into my mind, but none is more so than The Happy Pills Proposal. goosebumps whenever I think about it… the scene ever. the way it was framed, the lines they said, how it had tense, chilling buildup before a literal explosion. how are these people capable of doing the most silly things and then turning around to stab us in the heart 50 times

So you bet I’m crossing my fingers for a meeting between @v@ & q!Bad. Forever is absolutely killing the role so far. If q!Bad gets involved I can already taste the glorious angst…. since he has specific traumatic experience in also being possessed, & having killed his possessed friends in another life. he recalled the memory when talking about how to save q!Forever last night. fun! *shaking*

anyways that’s all :D love these characters, I had been wanting to do a little meta appreciation post for a while so I thought why not now ^^

[emtheanxiousdragon]

Our Hæth: A Wanderhome ARG

Ok so if you are any sort of game designer, whether that be a programmer for a mobile app, an artist for an indie TTRPG, or a top-tier producer at a AAA-game studio, you should read Reality is Broken by Jane McGonigal, it inspires you to make games that don’t just form digital communities or entertain, but allow a deeper connection to your real life.

And one game that I think, with a twist, could really fit McGonigal’s idea is Wanderhome, the excellent pastoral RPG by tumblr’s very own @jdragsky . This game is beautiful, simple, and a tool for telling these lovely stories about anthropomorphic travelers exploring a recovering society and finding themselves along the way.

Now, let me introduce my idea, tentatively titled Our Hæth: A Wanderhome ARG.

You make a Wanderhome character, just like in a typical game. You also make a separate Wanderhome profile that represents yourself. (this can be your actual Wanderhome character if you want to take on an alternate persona). This secondary Wanderhome character doesn't actually travel the Hæth. They represent your journey in the real world. Your second character's playbook should fit yourself and what you hope to get from this experience. My secondary character will be a Peddler, because I want to grow my personal career.

Then you get connected to a Hæth. These are shared worlds/servers that begin like all Wanderhome games (at the start of Tillsoil very soon after the end of the war) and progress from there. You can start with other players or begin on your own and find others later.

When you wish to travel to a new area, instead of randomly deciding what it should be, you base it on your current location. It can be as simple as your bedroom or as grand as the Great Wall of China! I’ll show you what I mean with where I am now.

A beautiful pond, right? Let’s turn it into a spot in the Hæth! Our first nature is based on a literal take of the area. I’m by a pond, so the first nature will be Lake! The second nature is more metaphorical; based on what you know about your location, choose a nature that describes its personality. A lot goes on around this pond, so I’ll pick Carnival. The third nature should describe the place as it is when you arrive. The calm nature of the pond today means the third nature is Field. Build the location with the rules of each nature, combined with the traits of the season, and you’ve made a Place!

In Our Hæth, each location is permanently saved into the world you created it in. If other players want to visit this location rather than create a new one, they’ll replace the third nature and the seasonal traits and set off! They can see what you’ve written about the place and the adventures you’ve had here. If you know them in real life, you can share what the real-world inspiration is. If not, you can discuss as much about it as you feel comfortable sharing.

Once you're in a Place, great! Start playing Wanderhome. If you're alone, write down what your traveler does in this place. If you're with friends, get together in person and roleplay it out, or chat together over Discord or your online forum of choice. Their characters may travel with you for a while or your paths may diverge and reconnect later. Just remember what happens so you can share it as part of your character's story. When you make a Kith, go through the regular Kith creation process and add them to your Hæth. If other players visit this Place later, they may meet your kith and will want to know what happened.

The other big ARG element of this version of Wanderhome comes with using tokens. When your character does something to create a token, you need to do something to make a token in real life. Have a list of what different actions in Wanderhome mean for you in real life. For example, when my character Camper gives away something he holds dear, that means I have to complete some professional networking. Your token action should be challenging or good for you. Change your token action as your challenges and needs change. Make them fit your life and your goals.

Take a break to complete your token action, or write it down for after the session. You won't be able to spend your real-world token until you complete your task. Once that's done, the next time your character spends a token, you can spend one too! Your token rewards are something positive to reward yourself for putting in the effort and caring for yourself, your relationships, or the world. In my Hæth, when Camper keeps someone safe from the difficulties of the world, I get to take a nap rather than work!

The months can change in small groups when you agree to change them. In bigger groups, you may set a real-world date for the change in the months. Ask the month's question to yourself and your Wanderhome character. Consider your answer a "yes" regardless of which one of you says so. When the time comes for the seasons to change, set up a party with others in your Hæth or throw your own private celebration. Just as the holiday marks a moment of personal growth for your character, take a major step forward with your own goals. As Camper celebrates the new year, I'm going to start searching for a summer internship. I'll adapt my token actions and rewards as needed, and I'll continue playing.

So long as you have Wanderhome, you can play this game. You can keep track of your Hæth in a notebook, on a google doc, whatever. My perfect version of this project would be a little website where players can join different Hæths, watch their world grow on a virtual map, see all the information neatly organized online, and connect to a wide range of people in the Wanderhome community.

Thoughts?