#i love them so much you actually cannot understand
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isthatbloodonhisshirt · 14 hours ago
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Forgive me, as I need to say something first, then the squealing will happen.
I cannot even express how absolutely insane it is that you said: "they all, this one in particular, buoyed me through a tough time in my life and brought me back to a love of drawing that I haven't had in years" when I am literally going through some crazy shit rn and have not written since probably last August (possibly September) and even then I wrote TWO fics last year because the writing just wasn't there and wouldn't come (which is very unlike me). And then I randomly logged onto Tumblr for the first time in ages (as one does when avoiding real life) and saw, not one, but TWO pieces of art based on fics I wrote. And the love and care you put into the art, and the kind words you included in the reblogs, actually made me go "Hey, I haven't written in a while, maybe I should try it again."
So like, the fact that you are saying I helped you, while I am telling you that you helped me is just... absolutely wild to me. Ain't life bonkers?
All that mush being said, THEY ARE SO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFT 😭😭😭😭 LOOK AT THEM, THEY ARE SO SOFT AND HAPPY AND STILES' EXPRESSION AND DEREK'S FACE AND I CAAAAAAAN'T!!!
I literally love this so much, you don't understand. I love all the little details you added too, like the pattern on the pillow behind Stiles, and the blanket having some texture, and the background (I also really like the shading on Stiles' neck, don't ask me why, I just do, I don't have to explain myself!)
Seriously, you are so talented and lovely and amazing and so, so, so kind and I appreciate you! ❤❤❤❤❤
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“Sorry,” Stiles said, unsure of why he was apologizing. “I’ve never heard that song before. Did you write it?”  Derek looked uncomfortable, maybe a touch embarrassed, which was answer enough. “It’s good. I like it. It’s calming.”  The small smile he got in response melted his heart a little bit. Fucking hell, he was so gone for this asshole. Stiles didn’t know what he was going to do. He wished he’d never realized how much he loved him. Wished he’d just continued to think they were best friends and nothing more. It was slowly going to kill him being so close, and yet so fucking far. Clearing his throat, he brought the book back up to continue reading, muttering that Derek should keep playing. He did, his fingers plucking gently at the strings, filling the loft with soft music. It really was calming, and soothing. Stiles really liked it. He liked it even more when he realized Derek could honestly express himself with the guitar. It still wasn’t a voice, but it was something, at least. 
Actions Speak Louder than Words (ch18) by @isthatbloodonhisshirt
This fic is what spurred me to start doing sterek fanart back in the beginning of december - magic!stiles, cursed!derek, stiles/jackson terrifying everyone else as friends - an incredible 430K story with a completely endearing slow-burn and slowly unfolding exploration of the characters and their relationship, made complete with the perfect bow of cursed-mute-Derek because 'Derek's eyebrows have a language of their own but only Stiles is fluent' is my favorite and this author does it SO well. And gives Derek a guitar. Derek plays a guitar!!
Ella, consider this my loveletter to your works - they all, this one in particular, buoyed me through a tough time in my life and brought me back to a love of drawing that I haven't had in years and a fandom that has been so generous in their support of my silly art. Thank you for sharing your works!
And a huge thank you to everyone's support so far - the sweet comments in replies, the unhinged all-caps tags, yes-and'ing my silly ideas and headcanons, i'm just over here kicking my feet and giggling and definitely not getting teary-eyed over it no siree no lacrimal action happening here
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undomesticated-animal · 2 days ago
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Honestly, body euphoria has done WONDERS for my ability to keep a physical self care routine, and I keep thinking back to Young Domi being so fucking OVERWHELMED by the thought of having to haul myself through the daily gauntlet of mirrors, lights, smells, self-shaming, and dysphoria inducing body modifictions made in a desperate bid to feel worthy of my skin. The idea that this could ever be anything but NEUTRAL AT BEST was laughable to me, so much so that I didn't even realize how terrified I felt by the possibility it could be real.
I can't go back and tell Past Domi all the things I understand now that I know would have mattered so much, but I can say them on the internet and maybe someone gets to learn them faster than I did.
Body euphoria isn't just for trans and intersex folks. And I mean this more than just "oh cis people should get gender ephoria too" (it's true!) because I also mean that the idea that body euphoria/dysphoria is neatly segmented up into little slices of life with no crossover is unrealistic and painful for everyone. Thinking that I was only allowed to care about my euphoria around gender actually made it REALLY hard to recognize I was having DYSphoria around my gender at all. After all, I avoided thinking about that in exactly the same ways I avoided thinking about the dysphoria around other aspects of my embodiment! I must just be bad at body positivity, "it's always easier to do for others than for myself 🤗 teehee" was a go to blow off for me when people asked me to confront how visibly uncomfortable I was in my body.
Because the thing is, it ISN'T easier to do for others than yourself. It really isn't. The part that's easier is avoiding the shame we feel about it. But once we confront the shame, loving your body is the easiest thing in the world. <- this is gonna be where Past Domi went "oh fuck this noise" and bounced but HEAR ME OUT
A body you cannot live with is a body you cannot care for, and a body you can't care for is a body you will almost always struggle to live with. This feedback loop is the CORNERSTONE of body dysphoria for a lot of people. It's a chicken and egg situation where it's nearly always going to be impossible to know what came first, but once either is present, the other will kick into gear to really hunker down in your psyche.
The feedback loop works the other direction too though. This is why people tell you to find the little things that make a tiny difference. They are (usually) not telling you that it'll be enough on its own, but every one of those you find uncovers new ones, and little by little you start feeling up to bigger pieces of self care because you've recovered enough to start putting int the front-loaded work for the worthwhile outcome
When that upwards feedback loop clicks? It's night and day. Like I genuinely don't know how to describe what it's like to just sort of.....wake up different. But it happens all the time, and it KEEPS happening. And you start to realize you're not "waking up different" you're just....getting to know yourself without feeling so uncomfortable with what you're learning that you shy away from yourself
I dunno man, I don't have a point here, but I've been processing old grief lately and the grief of how long I spent viciously hating myself and truly believing that's what neutrality feels like.....Little-Domi deserved better, and so do yall
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maxdibert · 2 days ago
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No I meant that Lily wasn’t in the wrong for trying to change Snape in the sense of him not hanging out with bigots etc. It was futile because Severus had his own opinions about it and thought there wasn’t much wrong with it - prove of their misunderstandings and miscommunication which is essensially why they are incompatible. But in this case trying to change your friend's path who is claiming they love you and are your best friend but betray you by hanging out with people who want you dead and trying to make them see reason etc. I
is not wrong and Lily clearly wanted to keep the friendship going so if we are committed to that person and want them in our lifes then trying to change them like this isn’t wrong, because it would actually contribute to Sev's well being. I mean both Sev and Lily wanted to have each other in their lives. Idk I feel like it's okay to try to change people, if its not to the detriment of your sanity or health, its not comparable to regural interests like acting a certain way or doing certain things if they don’t harm others (in this case its wrong to try to change someone and people shouldn't be with each other if they cannot handle someone being themselves) But Severus's case was different tho so it doesn’t compare. But I see what you mean and I do appreciate your perspective.
Look, if you want your friend to stay away from awful people, the first thing you need to do is provide them with safe spaces—not gaslight them when they express their suspicions about their bullies or tell them they should be "grateful" to one of those bullies for "saving their life."
There are several moments in Severus’s memories where Lily comes across as quite lacking in empathy regarding his situation. It’s one thing to be too young to fully understand why Severus was drawn to certain people, but it’s another thing entirely to half-justify or even try to sugarcoat the actions of his abusers. That directly contradicts the idea that she truly cared for him, wanted the best for him, and was trying to steer him away from the "dark side." If she had genuinely wanted him in her life, she wouldn’t have conveniently overlooked certain things while focusing solely on what she didn’t like about him.
On another note, I also don’t think she would have ended up with the guy who made Severus’s life miserable for years. Like, I haven’t spoken to one of my childhood friends in over eleven years, but I can assure you I would never hook up with the guy who caused her to develop an eating disorder at sixteen—because there are certain unspoken rules that people with common sense should respect.
I still don’t think they could have had a relationship, and honestly, even without their dramatic "falling out," I believe their friendship would have naturally faded over time. It’s pretty clear that Lily’s interests and ambitions were headed in a different direction. And that’s fine—those things happen in life, especially with childhood friends who, as we grow up, no longer have anything in common with us. That’s just how I see it.
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m-to-z-andbackto-m · 18 hours ago
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No you don't understand, it's not just a hyperfixation, IT'S LITERALLY THE REASON I'M FUNCTIONING 😭
I don't like staying hungry or eating when I'm not sure if I'm hungry or bored because Horror exists, he's been through a famine, tf am I doing???
I get upset about my hypersomnia and I try really hard to not to let it happen because many skeles are associated with narcolepsy
I'm pretty sure consuming skeleton content cured my depression over a few years???
God, I'm literally so dependent on them, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THO!!!
I try to avoid toxic behaviors when I can identify them, and it's easier to because Nightmare is a toxic guy canonically, I've consumed enough content to know what's right and wrong in the long run
On the other end, seeing content where one or more of them gets comfort helps me navigate some situations because generally I'm not amazing at giving comfort
They also have me think about my philosophy and general beliefs, a lot of them have been done wrong so they do wrong, therefore I believe we should always try to understand each other because communication can avoid huge issues (DreamTale), and I think it's okay for people to take revenge, even to the extent of killing an abuser if the circumstance just happens to be that way (I'm not gonna specify what irl situation I'm thinking of but I do not advocate for murdering people in general guys, but it's only fair to see the motive, people aren't born criminals and sometimes the extreme feels like the only way out one way or another. Essentially, see people for more than their crimes. Of course some people are just disgusting assholes, but you get the idea.)
Having to memorize the lore and world building, along with creators, characters, interpretations, AND variations, doing all this helps me practice organizing thoughts and articulating difficult information
They actually boost my creativity and keep me happy, when I'm stressed, opening Tumblr to my favorite sillies literally takes my mind off whatever was bothering me, like I actually need them to lower any anxiety levels and keep me regulated
However on the downside they can make me very hyper, sometimes so emotionally so that I shut down for a bit because I physically cannot express my adoration for them and it's overwhelming but I never shut down for too long, I love them, they keep me going y'know!
They help me explore diversity and character writing, putting depth and thought into a being, helps me with my own creations <3
Actually, I'm too shy to look at × reader/self insert/(Y/N) content most of the time unless it's platonic (Might just be me being aromantic honestly) BUT I Have seen stuff where they affirm body types and "Flaws" and stuff like that and I think if I was less of a prude I could look at that stuff and it'd make me feel better about my insecurities, but for now my partners are doing a good job at keeping me normal
Essentially I just need all my sillies to work properly!!! 💕 (I'm so sane, and normal, and not senile about them :3)
(CW For Next Bit: Mental Health, Paranoia, Panic Attack Discussed)
Actually about that, my obsession with the skeletons used to be SO bad that I felt like they were always watching me and my brain would involuntarily make me feel paranoid and bad about myself (Possible ODC symptom where you're afraid of being judged for your thoughts/actions?) and I can't tell if it was a panic attack I had a couple years ago where I couldn't keep caring what they "Think" and I just had to scream and sob because you literally can't hold it in during one (If it was this, I guess I sorta pushed them away D:), OR my partners replaced my brain sillies so I feel them to a lesser extent
(Insecurity, Self Care Issues, And Gay Talk 😭 Oh and also mention of paranoia again but not so bad)
Like it used to be so bad I couldn't get up because I felt yucky, but I couldn't take a shower because they were "There", but now it's like, if my partners are my brain sillies, they like me, we'd probably take showers together when we live together and shit like that, it's okay if they're "Watching" me, actually, they're actual people somewhere else, doing something else, they don't just exist because I think of them the way the silly skeles do, they're actually defined and aren't actually around, it's just me thinking about them, it's okay, I don't have to feel so bad or weird about it, of course I still do a bit because insecurity is hard to scrape off, but I think I'm getting a little better and that's all that matters
Anyways point is, I need my wives, both skeletons and real, to function properly or I'm literally DOOMED
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coolgrl111 · 2 days ago
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HELP SO i dont usually really send asks im sorry if this is awkward lmao i sorta just lurk in the challengers fandom usually 😔😔 but like if you could do some kind of either like blurb or general hcs with art x goth!reader i would love you forever 🫶🫶 i completely get it if you either cant or dont want to^^
- 🦇
okay sorry if this is literally soo bad or tacky but i tried 😭😭😭 i hope u like❤️❤️❤️
bf!art donaldson x goth!reader
- art literally has no idea how he ended up with you but he loves you endlessly. like he’ll just watch you do your thing, especially your makeup. whether that be your black lipstick or sharp thick eyeliner— he watches with so much focus like he’s studying for the most important exam of his life. “jesus baby, how do you get the edges so sharp?”
- he loves your rings. actually cannot stop playing with them. will grab your hand just to spin them around your fingers, fiddle with them. especially if you wear multiple at a time, he loves when you stack them. he once tried to steal one and got it stuck on his bigger fingers. had to google “how to remove a ring without amputation” in a panic. he didn’t try again after that….
- bro does not understand how you carry so much in your bag. “what do you even have in here?” and then you pull out a dark fantasy novel, a half-eaten granola bar, some more dark makeup and a vial of fake blood like it’s normal. he stops asking after that. he’s turned on, however.
- if you go to goth/emo parties, you obviously take him after he begs to accompany you. he walks in wearing his stanford hoodie and a backwards cap, visibly nervous. he just wants to fit in. he craves being accepted. he tries so hard to dance but looks like a malfunctioning sim. you love him for trying, and you make sure he feels comfortable and you introduce him to friends etc etc.
- he LOOVES how protective you get over him. if anyone so much as looks at him wrong, you immediately stepping in. “what the fuck are you looking at?” and he’s all giddy like that photo of zendaya when tom defended her from paparazzi BYEE😭😭
- also the same for you. if anyone’s giving you weird looks he is immediately all over that defending you like a knight. he knows you don’t need that, you’re not a damsel in distress but he can’t help his protective instincts.
- he’s secretly scared of horror movies but won’t admit it. will try to act all unfazed but will literally flinch at everything. and he gets defensive if you suggest to turn it off. “i wasn’t even scared, i just wasn’t expecting it. no don’t turn it off, babe, im not even scared.. it’s more fun to act scared anyway…” yeah ok sure.
- he tries to match your vibe… TRIES!!! once he tried by wearing all black but literally just looks like he’s going to a funeral. like all he had was a button up shirt. in fact he definitely had worn it to a funeral. but you tell him he looks great though because you love him.
- late at night when it’s just you two, he gets all soft and tells you he loves how you don’t care what people think. that he wishes he was like that. you pretend to roll your eyes but secretly you’re blushing so hard. he’s the light of your life. and although you two are an unlikely pair, you’d change nothing about each other and love each other unconditionally <3
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shatcey · 1 day ago
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Alfons' route (capacity of love)
I'll probably never stop referring to that scene…
In event "Villains Want to Tease Little Robin" there was a dialogue between Ally and Elbie. I've already mentioned this a couple of times (I think this is the last time). In this dialogue, Ally said that he was not suitable for a long-term relationship, and Elbie disagreed with him.
It's pretty simple. Alfons assumed that he could not love someone because (as he believes) he had never done it before. He even doubts that he is capable of loving. As he shared with Roger in the Romantic Blind Love ending.
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And he takes it pretty seriously. He really doesn't believe relationships are possible without love. Maybe that's one of the reasons he's never tried it before. Mostly because of his grim fate and strong sense of responsibility. But… maybe… partially because of that as well.
And in the chapter from his POV (after a very nasty scene in the back room of the bar), he thinks that Kate should find a better man.
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A man who knows how to love, a man who deserves her.
And his conviction that he cannot love started so long ago… because of that damn cat. Do I really need to reference this part? Argggg. I have to.
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And since then… He convinced himself that he was incapable of love. I don't know how to express how much this damn cat annoys me. It affected Ally's mind so much. And I keep doing it… so many years later. This little fluffy ball of fur. Insane.
Elbie approached from an observer's position. Most of the time, he does seem very naive and childlike, but he is quite observant and understands Ally better than anyone, perhaps even better than Ally herself. So he is absolutely sure that Alfons is capable of love.
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And as a result of this experiment... Ally actually found something, but not what he expected.
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It's not just "akin to love," it IS love. As Azel often said… Love is not just sweetness and tenderness, love has many very dark, very ugly sides. And this is just one of them.
As I see... for Alfons loving and remembering are the same thing. He can't separate one from the other. This explains why he did not believe that he was capable of loving, because in the end no one would remember him. This is a very twisted way of thinking. "I love you, so you will remember me." No… It should be the other way around. But that's how he sees it.
I'll talk about it a bit later, but from both sides. They both got fixated on the same idea almost at the same time.
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🔝 𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ𝕋 ℙ𝔸𝔾𝔼 🔝
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dragzo · 2 years ago
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Miscellaneous series of Dadsy and MK doodles (that I may or may not turn into proper drawings) because I adore their father/son dynamic and not enough people talk about it.
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egophiliac · 2 years ago
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How do you imagine Levan/Revan/ Mallenoa's husband?
Appearance, personality etc.
Revaan/Laverne/whatever-his-name-is's title sort of implies that he might be from a fantasy-Eastern country (they've established that in Twstland, 竜 = Eastern-style dragons, andドラゴン = Western-style dragons). and that's about as much as we know right now about...anything in regards to what he might look like. so I've been trying very hard not to form too much of a mental picture of him, because I'm still hoping we'll get to see him (or at least a silhouette)! ergo, in my head, he kind of looks like this:
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so handsome. surely Malenoa fell in love at first glance.
I do think the funniest thing about what we've learned so far is that Malleus being kind of quiet and reserved and dignified...absolutely did not come from the Draconias. and he sure as heck did not learn it from Lilia. so he probably got a lot of that from his dad! the vibe I get from how Lilia talks about him is that he could be a bit of a prim little fancyboy sometimes, but was (mostly) willing to go along with his wife's zany antics out of love. he sounds sweet, honestly! I'm sorry he (maybe) died. :(
my favorite thing about Mal's parents is that Malenoa and Lilia's dynamic was "long-suffering guard and princess who has long been the cause of said suffering":
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but then they would happily join forces in order to gang up on Revaan:
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tl;dr Revaan was the straightman in Malenoa and Lilia's comedy act until it all ended horribly whoops
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nadiajustbe · 1 month ago
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I think the most beautiful thing about writing of Howl and Sophie's pair is that they are written as people before being written as a pair. Let me explain this very quick.
The thing about book Sophie and Howl is that they are not really fully fitting into any "classic" romantic trope. They are not exactly enemies to lovers, as their angry chats are definitely cannot be considered a life or death battle, they are not rivals to lovers because the only aspect of rivalry between them is the cleaningness of Howl's room. They are not friends to lovers, as their relationship just doesn't fit into "friendship" structure at the very start, nor they are roomates (yes, they live in the same house but that's not the core aspect of their relationships). Of course, you can go on and fit the name of the trope you found specifically for them, but that's the thing.
They simply cannot be processed through a pairings lenses only, in order to understand how they act in relationship you need to analyse them separately, as a characters first of all. Cause that's what the book itself does!
Sure, it doesn't have a whole lot of romance instead, but it gives us time to learn and observe the life of incredibly written, alive characters, understand them as personalities first of all, while slowly immersing the dynamic between two characters (in this case, Howl and Sophie) into work. They are written as personalities, both being fully separated and interviewing, changing eachother's point of view.
It's difficult to find a trope for them. They're are not a trope. They are Howl and Sophie, and that's probably the only way their dynamic can be properly described. Just as real people, they are not really fitting into the boxes of linial character progression, but go way deeper into being complex, filled with little differences and moments only people with their personality can have in romantic (or any different) kind of interaction. They're imperfect, and silly, and multidimensional and the reader knows them well enough to imagine them interacting way beyond of what the book says to them.
They are being people before being a ship, a pair of a trope — and that's why they work so perfectly charming in the end.
Howl and Sophie are unique in being themselves.
#and that's not that they're the only ones like that#I'm sure there's a lote of well-written paintings like them as well#it's just I feel that people would try to find them some kind of a trope in the end anyways#actually If you let me brag about it a bit#I feel like people nowadays are trying a little to hard to force romance (and other dynamic but romance especially) into some kind#eh..tiny boxes instead of letting characters actually interacting on independent manner?#like there's so many bookshops and book covers that say “enemies to lovers!!” on it and like#nothing else. that may be a fault of booktock cause so many videos in there are “top-5 friends to lovers books of the year!!”#I don't care?? tell me about the characters about how their personalities are connecting them tell me about their story about their quircks#about the parts of them that led to romance being as it is about the parts of them that compliment each other#TELL ME ABOUT THE BOOK AND THEIR PERSONALITIES GODDAMIT#I have nothing against people inventing a way of naming the progression their characters relationship are that's actually pretty handy#I'm just kinda puzzled cause way people are starting to act like having one of this two three maybe five classic tropes is a necessity#I cannot understand why people won't read a book simply because the cover doesn't say enemies to lovers#I cannot understand why ppl are thinking it's enough for characters to be enemies to lovers and nothing else#I was doing tell me abt your ship template with Sophie and I had to add a million of arrows and little texts explaining every specific#AND I LOVED IT SM LIKE THEY ARE SO??! THEMSELVES THEY ARE SO ALONE#you cannot understand how much I love it#(and yes I do categorise my ships sometimes it's just I feel I don't put as much meaning into it as someone else would??)#hmc book#howl's moving castle book#hmc#howell jenkins#sophie hatter#howl x sophie#howl's moving castle#howl pendragon
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codenamesazanka · 9 months ago
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Shigaraki/Tenko wanting to destroy the false sense of peace All Might and Heroes created
.⬇️.
Shigaraki/Tenko wanting to destroy everything that lead to the existence of that house, which he conceptualizes as the embodiment of rejection and injustice in the world. Be a Hero for the Villains.
.⬇️.
AFO basically literally created that house
.⬇️.
Shigaraki/Tenko helps defeat AFO
.⬇️.
Deku telling him 'you already destroyed it' is... apparently Shigaraki/Tenko having finally gotten rid of the true cause of (his) rejection and injustice? main antagonist's big problem that represents an overarching major issue of the story/in-universe society... solved? (main antagonist's big problem that represents an overarching major issue of the story/in-universe society not actually being the problem he thought it was but now also solved?)
.⬇️.
No longer a need for there to be a Hero for the Villains, Shigaraki/Tenko dies.
.⬇️.
Heroes not to be blamed in the first place. also fuck everyone else and all other 'actual' outcasts I guess.
#i understand that Tenko not having 'supposed' to be rejected doesn't mean the rejection didn't occur for the other League members#but taking that away from Tenko/Shigaraki - leader of the League of Villains - wanting to be their champion#symbolically being their collective grievances and wills condensed into one#taking that away makes the story a lot weaker#GOD what happened#nalslastworkingbraincell#honestly making everything AFO's fault#and making Tenko's main issue being his despair toward himself (created by AFO)#allowed for the (seemingly for now) clean resolution of 'get rid of the both of them' possible#It's AFO's fault? Kill him! Problem solved#Tenko's issue not actually *harm caused by other (non-AFO) people* but instead *harm caused by his self-conceptualization/his own self*?#Tenko's projecting his own self-loathing and anger onto the world and causing trouble for everyone and making his crusade meaningless?#let him die too. Pity but problem solved!#AFO gave him the specific quirk that was Decay because it was such a brutal and deadly quirk that would guarantee rejection#you cannot tell me he could've been fine after manifesting Decay if only AFO wasn't there to tell him he has an innate need to destroy#not after what we've seen of Shinsou and Toga#other 'normal' people would not have let him live a normal life#that *is* also very much a problem that should be addressed#but it was AFO who gave him Decay and Decay was also actually not naturally existing#so everything's fine! no changes for anyone!#all this could've been saved if this was transferred to AFO - AFO also seen as a victim of societal apathy#especially since he was BORN A TRASH RIVER RAT ORPHAN#but he's just a lonely guy who was too unpleasant to form real relationships#so. only real issue Hero Society ever had that needed to be addressed was civilians being too hard on Heroes#gotta love them more and demand less of them#yippee
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sleepless-crows · 26 days ago
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i love txt
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yikes-ajax-thats-sad · 1 month ago
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People really think trust issues are just "aww they're scared of love" and it's like bitch no. Trust issues as in I'm deeply in love and the issue is I'm waiting for you break my heart after undergoing periodic abuse in relationships. I'm not scared of love I'm scared of what you'll do with it.
#ahahahaha anyways. ranty time in the tags wheeee#paranoia has been terrible today. everyones mood is off. everyones acting different. everyones acting colder. they hate me im sure of it#and all this stuff i want to be happy i just know is gonna be ruined or left with tainted memories now and its my fault#but maybe its not because why the fuck cant you be consistent. why is it so touch and go#i support ppl through the worst parts of their lives and when i need the support nobody is there#i will literally take time off work to be with someone if theyre having a hard time but me? cant even afford more than three words#im sick of being told i love you and finding no proof outside empty words. i sure as hell dont feel fucking loved. everyone is lying#it's just like my ex. he smothered me in love to cover up the major lack of actually viable love#empty words make me sick to my stomach now. everyones a fucking liar and i dont get why the wont just tell me the truth!#if im such a burden then just fucking say it! if im horrible to be around tell me! how am i supposed to every grow if nobody tells me#i just wanna be loved and not unconditionally. i want to be loved by choice. i want someone to choose me despite everything#i want someone to love me to every little detail and hold my hand even when im at my lowest and just UNDERSTAND#i want someone to love me wholeheartedly and think about me as much i do them. i want the little gestures and the sweet things i do#but here i am. always the one carrying everything and putting in all the effort. when was the last time someone really liked me.#when was the last time i existed in someone elses head. when was the last time someone cared enough to check on me. to do something?#this savior mentality is gonna kill me but im only being straightforward when i say i cannot pull myself from this alone. i am so weak#and god im fucking tired#spent at least two hours straight sobbing while regressed because even as a kid i cant outrun this#and im just getting sicker. i cant sleep. cant eat. cant stay warm. feel like im slowly fading away#and nobody even cares. its so fucking selfish and childish but my whole life ive screamed for help and nobody has seen me#do i have to become another number in the statistics for you to care? or would you even care when i die?#because at this rate i dont even need to try. my heart hasn't slowed in three days. i think i really am dying#sad thoughts#vent blog#sad blogging#vent#vent post#venting#actually mentally ill#actually traumatized
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bidokja · 2 years ago
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hey so like. why did they do this. what was the reason. what is the point if it is not Exactly what we all think it is.
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usermoreid · 1 year ago
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scalproie · 1 year ago
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Domesticated Post-Tekken 2 Era Kazuya is my favorite to think about because this would be so good for him and everyone else but he would have an absolutely miserable time during it
#like I dont think he would REALLY miss the rich ceo lifestyle bc i dont see it as smth he ASPIRES to but as a means to give himself power#if you (jun) somehow manage to convince him that he does not actually NEED power then i think hes adaptable enough to ajust to a humble life#and the whole being rich thing fed into his worst traits#but I think being close to jun all the time would be torture for him bc he would CONSTANTLY be confronted to his own faulty morality#he cant help feeling above other common people bc he endured much more pain and hardships at 5yo than them in a lifestyle-#but he cannot act on his superiority complex about them bc Its Not The Right Thing To Do#he looks at his newborn son and feel *nothing* before feeling frustration and irritation toward *himself*#bc hes smart enough to know he SHOULD be feeling smth#and if he relunctantly admit this to jun she would tell him that if the best he can do (for now) is to not wish or do any harm on jin-#then it is good enough and he should not beat himself up about it (which he doesnt. but he does)#and even jun. she is another person he could lose and he knows deep down he would be happier without her#but being near her bring back to life smth that died years ago at the bottom of that cliff#and he wont admit it but hes scared to lose it again. even if right now its brings him nothing but discomfort and pain#hes not even sure if he *loves* her. and when he asks her whats in it for her. why she stays with him#(not out of self-consciousness but genuine confusion) she just smiles at him because he IS considering the feelings of someone else#like she is so understanding and he genuinely does try and its a really slow healing process#hes still gonna stay a little bit of a prick smug at times but at least he will be immensely more chill out#and even maybe fall in love with jun *jun* down the line. characters that fall in love with each other years into the relationship👍#and his whole exploration of fatherhood with jin. him vaguely recalling smth nice jinpachi (or god forbid. HEIHACHI pre-cliff) did to him#and doing the same to jin out of the blue for the sake of experimentation#and jin's positive reaction making him FINALLY AT LAST feel some tiny tiny thing for his son.#also for all her tree-hugger talk. jun is right meditating in the forest DOES help kaz a lot#anyway. yeah👍#tagging later#tekken
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lorephobic · 1 year ago
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“Lovely. Smells good. It smells like Jacob. Weirdly. Nah, it smells good.” Barry on the red carpet last night. My love/hate relationship with the interviewers who keep asking him these type of questions is so complex like we get it and you need to stop right this second bur also PLEASE KEEP GOING 😩🙏
was literally talking with my work bestie today about how much i love hearing barry talk about jacob but if it’s a red carpet interview and u get the chance to ask him any one question in the world and u decide to make that moment about jacob??? sorry but u deserve to be shot.
ask jacob about jacob. this is barrys moment and barrys night. if ur not going to ask him an interesting question about HIM then go bother literally any other celebrity.
also if ur going to ask him about jacob at least be serious. this bathwater candle shit “describe jacob in three words” “what was it like when u first met him”, its all SO TIRED!!!!! NOBODY IS INVESTED IN THEIR LOVE STORY MORE THAN ME!!!!! but i would not be caught DEAD asking barry keoghan what the jacob bath water candles, that he DID NOT BUY BECAUSE HE IS NORMAL, SMELL LIKE!!!! WHEN WILL U PEOPLE LEARN WHAT A BIT IS.
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