#the doctor and jack actually make me so insane

[usermoreid]

.

[cillsworld]

My devotion to you✧₊⁺

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Ship|Jonathan Crane x fem!reader

Summary|you fall for your corrupt psychiatrist and he takes advantage of that.

Word Count|2765

Warnings|smut(18+!), age gap, abuse of power?, mentions of violent acts, oral(m rec!), rough sex, forced breeding!, baby trapping, (very) mild use of fear gas, mentions of drugs.

Notes|Jonathan is canonically 26 and reader is 18, reader is horny asf which is so real honestly like girl is down baddddddd. Also this is my second fic/piece of writing ever so that's cool, honestly it's a bit repetitive but I don't hate it sooo enjoy!

masterlist

You had always been an aggressive individual, constantly getting into fights both verbal and physical, being a headache to your parents, teachers, fellow peers and sometimes even the police.

Their last straw was when you beat a girl to unconsciousness for whatever irrational reason your brain had come up with and decided that you needed to be confined in a nut-house in order to change.

The first few days you were here, you were kept in solitary confinement with a straight-jacket to contain you from scratching your own eyeballs out, if you weren't insane before, that experience surely confirmed it.

But your disdain for the asylum went away as soon as your first session with Dr. Crane started, in high-school you were never big on crushes or boys really, since they all looked like wet rats and you couldn't bring yourself to be attracted to them.

That all changed when you saw the man that was meant to be your psychiatrist, Dr. Crane was the only thing keeping your remaining sanity intact, the man was so breathtakingly beautiful that all you ever did in your free-time was fantasize about him and count down the minutes to when you'd get to see him again.

Each session would consist of your failed attempts to flirt with him while he tried to bring your attention back towards the topic at hand, he was also the only psychiatrist you hadn't been violent against, that's why he was the one who actually stayed, just like you wanted him to.

So here you were, a smile present on your face as he walked into the room where you sat, confined by a straight jacked but nonetheless excited to see him, "you look unusually giddy today, what's the occasion?" He questioned while taking a seat across from you, looking down at the clipboard in-hand as he adjusted his glasses.

"I'm getting to see you after a whole week!" You responded with a giggle, leaning over the desk a bit as you usually did to get a better look at him, he looked back up with a raised eyebrow and sighed.

"Maybe if you didn't attack that man in the cafeteria, you wouldn't have been kept in solitary for a week and you would be able to see me earlier" he spoke with that usual stern tone of his, his words making you frown immediately, he looked and sounded so upset with you that you wanted to cry on the spot.

"He took my apple! What else was I supposed to do?" You retorted defensively almost immediately, jumping up a bit, all he did was stare at you, with that look that he knew would make you contemplate everything you just did, you calmed down and slumped back in your chair with that cute, conflicted look on your face.

"I'm sorry for yelling doctor Crane, are you mad at me?" You questioned quietly, your voice going soft and barely above a whisper, he swallowed with pursed lips before looking back down at his clipboard, writing something down that you tried to peer over to get a look at.

"No.. No, I'm not mad" he responded dismissively with a shake of his head, "but I have to say, this session isn't starting quite the way I had hoped" he continued making your expression falter, looking back up at you, "don't you think you've given me enough trouble for the week?"

"I gave you trouble doctor Crane?" You questioned with confusion lacing your voice and expression, leaning over the table with furrowed eyebrows, hugging yourself tighter then you were being forced to.

"Yes. I wasn't going to tell you but your little outburst caused me a lot of trouble with my seniors, they think I'm not making progress with you fast enough and they should give you to someone else" you immediately opened your mouth to protest when he said that but a raise of his hand signaling you to keep quiet was enough to make you shut yourself up.

"Now, I'm going to need you to be well-behaved for this session or I might as well hand you over" he threatened, almost daring you to challenge his words, "so.. Are you going to be good for me today?"

God why'd he have to word it like that, you quickly nodded while absentmindedly rubbing your thighs together, "yes I will Doctor Crane, I promise!" You responded, perking up and he nodded muttering a small "good", almost smirking at your compliance of anything he says in response to the simplest threat of being away from him.

“Now, I want you to tell m-“ you couldn’t help but cut him off, at this point it was a habit of yours and a casual occurrence, “what’s in that box doctor crane?” You questioned with a tilted head, nodding towards the briefcase that he’d brought in for the first time.

Usually your interruption would annoy him but this time it caused a rush of excitement in him, “I’m glad you asked darling..” your face heated up at the nickname that he called you rarely, every time he had said it, it had caught you off guard.

He opened the little black briefcase and as soon as he did the air felt different, heavy, your heartbeat had started to rapidly increase and every inch of your skin was becoming sweaty and clammy as anxiety filled you and your brain went panic mode.

”What’s in there doctor Crane?” You continued with the questioning now looking as if you were incredibly sick, your skin pale and flushed, “this, is a special creation of mine.. it’s what I use to keep extreme cases in line..”

His voice gradually became more raspy and deeper as he talked about it, looking into the briefcase with so much admiration that you almost wished you were it.

“I don’t like it..” you mumbled weakly as he brought it closer to you, instinctively leaning back as he did so, your vision going a bit blurry as your stared down into it, Crane on the other hand scoffed at your words.

“You aren’t supposed to like it" he replied in an almost snappy tone, closing it shut as he did so, "my dear, I need you to understand that if you keep misbehaving as you have recently.."

"I won't hesitate to give you an actually proper dose of what is in here" he patted the case as if to emphasize his point and you let out a soft gasp, "why would you do that doctor crane? I said I was sorry.." Your voice shaky and quiet, starting to understand why those patients you'd overhear would always talk of Crane as if he was the devil.

"You're already scared?" The way he said your name had a mocking undertone in it that you hadn't yet heard from him, "I said if you misbehave" he felt like a broken record, constantly repeating the same things and not getting much progress in return and frankly it was starting to annoy him too much for your own good.

He saw that sense of relief wash over you at his words, he couldn't help but want to ruin that peace and bring back the look in your eyes that sent his heart racing, "or.. I could give you a demo right now?"

"No-" you cut him off quickly, "that.. That's not necessary" you couldn't quite put a pin on the look in his eyes, was it amusement? Excitement? Either way it gave you a rush of adrenaline you enjoyed.

"are you sure about that? because I have an inkling that you'll get me in trouble yet again, if you don't learn that your actions have consequences" he was so serious, more then usual, while speaking that you couldn't even try to trick yourself into thinking he was bluffing.

"I would never do anything to get you in trouble.. Not- not on purpose" you spoke hesitantly, not trusting your words at all, "really?" He mocked with raised eyebrows, "if you're really that devoted to me why don't you prove it?" He spoke in a bored tone, leaning back in his chair as he did so.

"how do I do that?" You questioned quickly, a subtle pout on your face, "I don't know" he retorted with a click of his tongue, "you tell me.."

As soon as the idea came to your brain your heart went racing, maybe you escalated things too quickly, dropping to your knees and scooting under the table to go towards Jonathan, when you peaked out of the table from in between his legs to make contact with his widened eyes, you tried not to smile, "I can pleasure you? To prove my devotion of course.."

"well that's certainly an idea.." As usual his tone was hard to read, he really was contemplating, he'd have to admit the sight of you between his legs batting your eyelashes at him was a pretty one, if that wasn't enough to make him uncomfortably hard you being in a straight jacket on top of that made it harder for him to refuse.

"get one chance and you become a bitch in heat.." His voice was so low that you almost didn't catch what he said and you almost wished you didn't, your cheeks heated up and you opened your mouth in protest but he quickly clasped a hand over your mouth, shutting you up.

"if we're going to do this I'm gonna need you to stay quiet okay?" He told you and you quickly nodded, "good, now get to work" he said dismissively before removing his hand and leaning back in his chair, unzipping his pants and pushing it down just enough that it'd be past his hips and you could see the outline of his cock through his boxers.

It seemed almost uncomfortable as the boxers seemed like they'd burst open any minute with how his cock was straining against them, your mouth was watering at the sight though you looked up at him in confusion when he made no move to take the boxers off.

He raised an eyebrow looking down at you, "what? I really need to spell it out for you?" His tone was so obviously condescending that you almost felt ashamed it was turning you on, "your hands may be useless but you still have a good set of teeth princess, use it"

So you did, craning up your neck to take the hem of his boxers between your teeth and slowly pull them down enough to release him from, you almost gasped at the sight of him, he was a little above average in length and girthy enough to make you question if you could fit him properly in your mouth.

You stuck your tongue out and licked a strip under it from the base till the tip of his cock, taking the head in your mouth, licking the pre-cum, his hand came up to take a fist full of your hair startling you, "speed up darling, I don't have all day" he told you in an unamused tone.

You swallowed him halfway and started bobbing your head, hollowing your cheeks in an effort to impress him, your body pressed up against his legs as you moaned around him.

All you got in response was a little groan, his grip on your hair tightened and he started pushing your head up and down at a faster pace, pushing you deeper each time, you looked up at him to see his flushed face and pretty blue eyes roll to the back of his head as he cursed under his breathe.

The sight sent waves of pleasure to your core and made you uncomfortably wet, "that's it princess, put your pretty mouth to good use" he muttered under his breathe as his thrusts became faster and more desperate.

Suddenly he pushed you all the way down and you eyes widened from surprise, gagging around him for a moment as you tried to adjust to the foreign breaching of your throat, your nose pushed into his trimmed hair as you whined, looking up at him through watering eyes, he let out a soft with at the sight.

"oh don't cry darling.." He spoke with feign sympathy, "this is what you wanted right? To pleasure me?" He mocked as you whined once more, instinctively trying to pull back for air, he let you go after a few moments, only giving you a few seconds to breathe before pushing you down again.

He bobbed you at the same place, letting himself bask in the pleasure as you gagged and choked with each thrust, it went on for a bit before he completely pulled you off and up so he could see you properly, standing on your knees a line of spit was connected from the base of his cock to your lips.

He reveled in the sight of your flushed face with tears streaming down it, messy hair and chest heaving, "good.. You did good darling.." He said under his breath, patting your cheek a bit too harshly, "but you didn't cum doctor crane.." You responded quietly, a pout on your glossy lips.

"oh that's not for you to worry about" he responded dismissively before standing up and pulling you with him, making you whimper from the pressure on your scalp, he turned you around before shoving you on the table and you let out a squeak of surprise.

"what're you doing doctor crane?" You questioned quietly, even though you knew the answer specially when he reached for the hem of your trousers, you wanted him to tell you.

"m'gonna fuck you baby.. " his raspy voice responded while undressing your lower half as blood rushed towards your face, "you can see it as a reward for your hard work.."

You could feel the head of his cock rubbing on your cunt, you squirmed and pushed back against him with a whine, urging him on, he grabbed your hair yet again and pulled you up, bending your body uncomfortably as he leaned down, "stop being so desperate darling, it's not a good color on you.."

Before you even had time to process it he pushed almost all the way in and your jaw dropped as a loud moan escaped you, his grip on your hair tightened as your expression contorted from the pain and pleasure of it all, eyes fluttering shut.

"fuck, I knew you'd have a tight little cunt from the moment I saw you" he breathed out, staying still for the moment to let the both of you adjust before pulling all the way out till the tip and then thrusting in again, repeating the process as loud moans escaped you.

"thought I told you to stay quiet earlier.." He muttered before letting your hair go and untying his tie, "but that's just how you bitches are huh? Get a good cock in you and you lose all control of yourself" you whined in protest but not for long before he gagged you with his tie and tied it behind your head.

He held your hips up as his thrusts soon resumed, letting you lay limp on the rocking table, squirming and mewling as he chased his own release, he reached a hand down to start rubbing at your clit with enough pressure to make you see stars and clench tightly around his dick, making him release a loud groan.

"pussy so tight she's fuckin chocking me.." He turned you around, deciding he wanted to see your face while you both came, see your eyes rolling to the back of your head as your legs shook from the pleasure, he didn't falter in his thrusts while you came, not caring if he was over stimulating you and more focused on his release.

Even though your head felt blank and too foggy to form a coherent thought you could feel him twitching inside you and wrapped your legs tightly around his waist, making sure he came deep inside you.

Once her came off his high he quickly pulled out, "fuck, what did you do.." He panted out, raising one of your legs up to get a good look of his come dripping out of your hole and down your ass.

"now why would you do that?" He questioned; knowing you weren't allowed to or were on birth control, rising up and removing your makeshift gag, as soon as he did you craned up to kiss his stiff form.

"I love you Jonathan" you told him after pulling away with a smile, not bothering to answer his 'silly' question, all while he stayed a bit frozen, now realizing that he'd gotten himself into major shit.

[halogalopaghost]

So fucked up how the medical industry treats sleep issues in a divergent person. Not even neuro divergent, just any patient who's different than the standard textbook "have better sleep hygiene" patient.

I've had good sleep hygiene with terrible sleep. I've had excellent sleep with terrible sleep hygiene. I've had sleepless nights on Benadryl and the heaviest sleep of my life after a day of inactivity. I have ADHD and fibromyalgia and maybe-autism. My brain and body don't work the way the standard medical textbook wants them to and that doesn't even anger doctors, they're just blasé about it. They're casual. It's a shrug and a "don't drink caffeine before bed" or "the bed is only for sleeping" or "exercise more".

Did you know a not-insignificant portion of people with ADHD actually intentionally take stimulants BEFORE bed in order to obtain enough peace of mind to sleep? You know how stimulants have a reverse effect on people with ADHD, right? And we know how caffeine is a stimulant..? Ok just making sure you're aware of this basic chemistry, person-who-has-a-doctorate.

Did you know that ADHD and autism are often comorbid with circadian rhythm disorders? That's basically when your internal clock is all jacked up, btw.

It's just...DEPRESSING. And exhausting! (But not enough to sleep.) like, I've tried all this shit man, multiple times. I've done my due diligence and every provider says "well, it will be different with me". The arrogance! The absolute insanity of making the patient repeat themselves over and over in a vain attempt to be heard!

I walked more steps today than I have in a month. Ran errands. Read a book before I laid down to sleep. The bed's soft and clean and comfortable, I've had considerably less caffeine than I usually do, I didn't spend much of the day in bed or lying down at all.

And yet! I languish! Sleepless!! I'm being a little /dramatic because that's who I am as a person but DAMN if this ain't some annoying shit. And all they can offer me are tranquilizers or "better habits".

The next person to suggest better sleep hygiene will have a pillow shoved down their throat. See if insurance covers that pillowectomy, bitch.

[grandadtwelve]

nuwho doctors ranked by fuckability (extremely subjective, inspired by several voice memos between a friend and myself at 2am, with full understanding that being the doctor implies a preestablished unfuckability):

1. tenteen/tenthree/fourteen

poses the question what if the tenth doctor was less annoying, more grown, and gayer. the answer to the question is let me take you out please please please just one chance please whatever you want babygirl I’m begging please you’re so responsible and youre working on your commitment issues and that’s soooo hot please

2. ninth doctor

deep in the trenches of his post-war trauma and blatantly in love w his best friend but also. why does he cruise. look at him he’d cruise a little bit. idk babe I cannot explain it to you I just think he’d let me blow him a little in the alley behind some alien club and then I’d never see him again. yeah he was thinking about jack/rose the whole time and then felt so guilty he left w out saying anything but it was still kinda …

3. thirteenth doctor

ok I know this is actually insane but what if I could fix her. I know this is because I’ve read way too many fics where she uses physical intimacy to compensate for being unable to give or receive verbal comfort from her loved ones and also I think jodie is hot but . what if

4. twelfth doctor

probably the doctor I’m most physically/emotionally attracted to but also he’s kind of busy. like between clara and river and missy his relationship dossier is kinda full and I’m like not needing to get in the middle of all that, nor do I think he has the desire to do more than he’s already doing. if he wants to have a little flirty thing like he did with psy though I would be alllll over that.

5. fifteenth doctor

OBJECTIVELY the most fuckable doctor. however subjectively. we are two drunk girls making out in the club like we’re having fun but this is not doing it for either of us. we are best friends and fully recognize how hot we both are but this is three minutes of kissing and grinding and then “omg….. we’re so crazzyyyyy….. that was so silllyyyyyy…..”

6. tenth doctor

yes he’s pretty but girl SHUTTTT UUUUPPPPP. one of those times where someone hot knows they’re hot and instead of it being a “confidence is sexy” moment you just want to slam a door in their face. I say all this fully aware that if he flirted w me the way he flirts with martha in “smith and jones” I would fold in an instant but I do not care. I know too much. Go pine and leave me alone.

7. eleventh doctor

listen this is not about matt smith ok i think matt smith is incredibly sexy and charming and all of those things ok. but like. absolutely not. oh my god no. no no way. the physics wouldn’t allow it the idea of even touching his bare skin above the wrist is awful.

[chvsire]

Zhys headcannons?👀 gimme

okay!! this gonna be a mix of general hcs for each of them and also together.

• Zhys’ rivalry is very one sided. Zane genuinely hates Rhys at first, while Rhys is just confused and a little upset that Zane doesn’t seem to like him very much just because the others think Rhys is more intelligent.

-> Rhys actually thinks Zane is much more intelligent than him and has a lot of experience, especially considering their both one of the oldest on the server and have progressed the most in their careers (yeah screw you im not working on their supposed ages, they are toxic old man yaoi to me). He just thinks Zane needs to learn to swallow his ego since it’s obvious his friends are just using him as the butt of the joke.

• Before Rhys met Zane, Aphmau talked about him like he was the world, so Rhys thought he was going to be this very sweet older man who shared some of his interests and would be a good person he could become with friends first.

-> Turns out that sweet older man only exists for Aphmau. Rhys thought the two had a thing for a while after (which wouldn’t be wrong…)

• When Rhys first joined, Aph made him stay with Zane for a while until they got his house built because “you both like smart stuff this could work.”

-> It did not work and Rhys got kicked out the first day after Zane tried very hard to do it “just for aphmau” as he kept saying for himself.

• Rhys ended up building his house right next to Zane’s since most of the plots were full and it also meant he’d be fairly close to Aphmau, who lives next door to Zane.

-> later when they get together, they build a little joint living area between their houses…neither of them want to get rid of their labs to move in with the other, so why not make a shared living space in between their own homes for the times they do want to be together.

• Rhys developed a crush on Zane fairly quickly, but he kept denying it. It started when in their fights Zane felt a need to be very up close and personal with him…and he quickly realized just how easily Zane could grab and move him around.

-> Zane actually scared Rhys the first time he picked him up by the collar in a fight, Rhys didn’t think Zane was very strong considering the others called him weak. It definitely got him feeling things after through

• Rhys may look small next to Zane, but he’s actually one of the tallest on the server alongside Pierce. Zane is just a beast compared to everyone else (save me 6’7 Zane save me)

• Off the server, Zane and Rhys both work in the medical field. Zane works as an ER doctor, while Rhys is slowly working his way into switching to being a psychiatrist! He worked in finance originally.

-> basically, I like them both being nerds but I think it would be interesting if they came from different STEM backgrounds. Zane is definitely more medical with some background in physics / engineering (he’s had a million jobs, he’s a Jack of all trades but anything science related is his prime work) while Rhys’ is purely mathematics with some minor interest in psychology.

• Rhys accidentally psychoanalyses Zane sometimes and it actually drives him up the wall because “I KNOW IM MENTALLY ILL DONT REMIND ME!!”

• Bc of their work hours, Zhys usually gets on the server after long shifts. Before Rhys joined, Zane would be the only one on while others were sleeping or at work (which left others to find his insane projects in the morning). He didn’t mind it at all, considering he would have 18 hour shifts where he’s surrounded by people and under stress, man’s needed the break !! But sometimes it was nice to not be entirely alone after Rhys joined.

• Rhys helps Zane with some of his projects. Zane ofcourse doesn’t really like the idea of their being another “smart” person on the server, but it atleast means someone can FINALLY understand his projects and his speak in his own lingo without him having to dumb down everything he says.

• Zane’s projects success rate surprisingly increased after Rhys joined. Everyone on the server thinks he’s maybe just taking himself more seriously now to one up Rhys.

-> Zane has too much pride when it comes to his work, always thinking that he’s got it perfect the first time and never takes the time to test anything or double check his work. (his doctor ego showing) He’s also the owner of the server and always OPed, so he knows he can just fix whatever he breaks. But having Rhys around atleast means someone will be making sure he put everything in place correctly and doesn’t accidentally throw the server into a disaster for the 10th time that month.

• Zane eventually starts to slowly accept Rhys once he realizes Rhys isn’t trying to take his place on the server and that they actually work really well together in a professional setting.

• Zane has always been the kind of guy to develop feelings and then shove it back down because “I can’t worry about that rn I have a job”, but it’s harder for him to ignore over time as Rhys really likes to stand close with the person he’s talking to and make good eye contact, which slowly starts to get Zane flustered once he realizes just how much Rhys really REALLY listens to him, and easily jealous when he does the same to other people.

• Their first kiss would definitely either be when they’re in a fight or Kim going “oh just kiss already” when they’re bickering and the two just pause and stare at eachother before Zane grabs his face.

-> No one thought they would actually do it and all of them scream in unison the moment Zane just kisses him aggressively bc they all just didn’t see the signs except for Kim. (She knew immediately when she noticed how the way Zane and her fight are not the same as Zane and Rhys…like why are you getting so close to his face like that? to kiss him?)

• Between the two of them Rhys gets the most flustered easiest, Zane can be a hard shell to crack sometimes and he definitely uses the knowledge to his advantage.

[fractualized]

I finally got around to reading through another classic batjokes story: Lovers & Madmen, which takes place in Batman Confidential #7-12. I highly recommend it, particularly if you are interested in stories about Jack-era Joker. Batman first meets Jack at the tail-end of his first year as Batman, and we get all the batjokes goods, including plenty that aren't evident from the isolated panels that go around. (Plus cameos from aspiring med student Harleen Quinzel and aspiring asylum administrator Jonathan Crane.)

This isn't a full recap, so I hope my rambling will spur you to check it out.

(Beware of gore and suicidal ideations.)

The key thing to know from issue #7 is that Bruce's mission has been going incredibly well. He has been operating for only 42 weeks, and he can feel the city quieting down. He's so proud! So content!

And we can't have that. Enter Jack, goon for hire. Bruce comes across one of his murders and becomes obsessed with how clean the scene is, how little a trail there is to follow. He investigates and investigates and investigates and comes up with nothing to his dismay.

Meanwhile Jack is also having a sad at a bar because there's no challenge or entertainment to his job anymore. :( Luckily a nice server gives him a little pep talk.

Jack does give things another go at a bank robbery, but it's still no fun. He trips the alarm on purpose, but a shootout with the guards is no fun for him either. He's literally in the middle of asking a guard to kill him, when Batman finally shows up.

"He's an idiot. I love him." Nothing like infatuation to restore your will to live. #8 opens with Jack being sure to leave Batman a thank you note before he escapes.

And Jack must see the Bat again, and of course the only way to ensnare him is to commit a series of awful but perfect crimes. And Bruce is infuriated! Here he is taking out his frustrations on a mugger— with Jack watching from afar.

Bruce is just so mad he's been unable to stop Jack, like, "All those books! All that preparation! But crime man keep criming?!"

Batman and Jack next meet at a charity gala planned by Bruce's love interest in this story, Lorna, and boy do things escalate. Jack picks Lorna as his hostage, threatening to shoot her so he can get away, and Bruce ends up grabbing another gun and shooting Jack's gun out of his hand. But then Jack just stabs her good, and while Bruce can't leave her to die, he doesn't just let Jack escape.

Jack isn't even the goddamn Joker yet and Bruce has intentionally given him a Glasgow smile as punishment. And even more insane, is that Jack appears to verbally respond to Bruce's inner monologue.

With Lorna slowly dying in the hospital, Bruce goes to a professional to try to figure out what it is about Jack that makes him seemingly unstoppable— and of course that professional is Jonathan Crane, and his professional opinion is basically, "dude that guy is clearly just insane and you're doomed to fail lol."

Oh yeah? Would an insane man be this untroubled about his face being cut open?

"He'll have to pay for that. Then again… it's nice to feel something." Just summing up Joker's cycling feelings about Batsy in the years to come. lol

And here's the plot point that sticks out to me most, after years of reading Bruce stalwartly refuse to kill Joker, including in other versions of their first meeting:

Bruce has been Batman for less than a year and he's already like, "Fuck it! I give up! This guy stabbed my new girlfriend and made me lose faith in books! He has to die!" In a short time, Jack has burrowed so deep under Bruce's skin that Bruce tosses away the one solid crime-fighting principle he has. It's oddly refreshing??

So Maletesta, who is a crime boss Jack stole from, takes some goons and captures Jack at the doctor's while he's unconscious from surgery. They then take Jack to a pharmaceutical plant, and Maletesta starts beating him while he's still out. Except Jack is actually awake and just kind of bored by the torture attempts and slipping back into ennui. This issue, #10, really goes into Jack's struggle between wanting to live but not feeling there's anything worth living for.

As you can see, Jack does eventually escape his bonds to fight back. As he and Maletesta fight, they end up in the bottom of the vat.

Meanwhile, Bruce is being quietly insane.

Bruce. Bruce, what the fuck are you talking about. I have to unspool this because like, Bruce knows Jack has killed lots of people. But what he's fretting about is the ways Jack's madness has metaphysically harmed the world, maybe, and thinking, "I know he's caused so much damage, but what about the damage to my moral integrity?!" and putting that above all the material harm. I know Bruce already does this all the time, but it feels so much more explicit here, and it gets worse, and just... Sir. Sir. You are not well.

So Bruce arrives at the plant too late to save Jack but just in time to see him get doused in chemicals.

Jack spends more time thinking on whether or not he wants to survive, but we know how this goes.

Jack ends up on the riverbank, and there's a wholesome edge to his psychotic break.

And so begins the criminal career of… the March Hare!

Kidding. The issue ends there, with Bruce lamenting that his change of heart came too late, that even if Jack is still alive, something awful has happened.

But then when issue #11 starts, Bruce finds he's not sure what he saw on the bank, if anyone. He gives chase but…

But if Jack is still alive, then Bruce's soul may be intact. He keeps searching well into the day, but finds nothing.

When he returns home, though, he learns that Lorna will survive after all. He immediately heads to the hospital, to "the only good news in the world."

Ah, Bruce is finally anchoring himself to the bedside of his ladylove. After he colluded to get someone murdered and seemingly succeeded. And it's the fear of what that says about him that sent him to Lorna. Almost like he's turning to her less because of his affection and more to hide from his moral failure. Romance!

Jack does soon appear in his new clown persona, and Bruce keeps his word and refuses to leave the hospital despite the multiple horrors Joker commits. Joker is not happy that Batman is MIA.

Some idiot Joker's captured feels it's necessary to inform him that Batman tried to have him killed, and of course Batman doesn't care. Joker scoffs, because Batman doesn't kill.

Faith restored!

Back at the hospital, Alfred verbally kicks Bruce in the ass, pointing out that committing himself to an unconscious Lorna isn't helping anyone.

Bruce finally suits up to respond to the bat signal, but it turns out Gordon isn't the one who lit it.

My Telltale-loving ass like:

In issue #12, their fight commences, and after some mutual stabbing, we get Joker's real plan.

It's like a dozen Lornas! Only this time Joker is telling Batman to come at him instead of trying to escape, and instead of taking action, Bruce suddenly feels overwhelmed.

Joker says something similar earlier about Gothamites. They're "poor sickies" who can't even see the bunny on the moon. They need the same "medicine" that Joker got to see the big picture, to find true joy. Of course he wants to do that for Batman too!

But once Batman shakes the poison off and starts rescuing the civilians, Joker is also pretty cool with killing him.

Bruce survives, as expected, and Joker isn't really upset about it.

And destined to do this forever, you might say!

Joker goes on to say that Batman gave him a purpose, a world of color to live for. Bruce reiterates that Joker is murdering people and asks why. Joker asks why Batman saves them.

(This panel goes right to left, btw.)

Joker's got a ways to fall, so Bruce has time to contemplate letting him die. "Let it happen… Let chaos prevail for the six more seconds it will take for madman to meet pavement… or the rest of my life will be spent picking up the pieces."

Bruce has already had a moral crisis about what it would mean for his soul if he let Joker die. In the end, he simply doesn't accept there's a meaningful difference between someone who takes a life for personal gain and himself taking a life to prevent the suffering of others. The vat is the same as his parents' graves. Letting Joker hit the ground is the same as pulling a trigger. Bruce chooses Joker over countless future victims. He choose Joker over Lorna, who he'll soon break up with at the hospital, weaponizing the carelessness of his socialite persona. Bruce decides that, amongst all options, taking responsibility for the monster he created means spending his life picking up the pieces.

And he immediately accepts that fact, what's to come. Gordon talks to Batman about the total dead, saying, "Would've been worse without you," and Bruce responds, "Don't be so sure." Don't be so sure today and for the decades to come, because Bruce believes that if that clown dies, then so does his own soul.

Joker sees that future too, and he is delighted!

Interesting detail, the Jack and King visible in the hat, side by side. Brings to mind how not too many years later, Snyder will have Joker crown his Bat King.

So there's Lovers & Madmen. Again, much more goes on in this story, particularly Jack's suicidal ideations and how he links the "enlightenment" Batman bestowed upon him to his contempt for regular people and his need to separate himself from them (and reconciling that with a good deed he does for a future henchgirl). The issues are collected into one book, and if you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to pick it up.

[the-fiction-witch]

The Magic Of Men

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Smut Discussions

Requested: Could you do a Jack Dawkins one where she has no experience and doesn't really know how men work (because it's 1850s and she isn't married lol) but she's curious? Up to you what you do with that :)

I felt insanely awkward about doing this, but... not like I had many other options. I headed up the stairwell of the hospital and up to the little room I knew well. I gave the door a tap, and soon enough his voice answered.

"Come in,"

So I held my breath and headed inside the little room, seeing the usual objects littered about and two figures, Fagin sat in the chair fiddling with something not sure what, and then Jack stood by his wardrobe changing his shirt. Immediately I blushed and looked away, "Hi,"

"Hi Y/n, Just a sec I'll be down." Jack smiled as he got a clean shirt on, "Sorry had to change we had a bloody nightmare of surgery. You ready to go?"

"Actually, I was thinking... Maybe we could stay here tonight?"

"uhhh right, Why?"

"Well given everything with Darius, I figured maybe we could just stay and play cards here tonight. I brought us some cookies to bet with?"

"Aww you're sweet, that's great actually I can't spend any money." He laughed, "Alright piss off Fagin."

"Ohh lovely, I see when I'm not wanted." Fagin complained getting up and shuffling to the door, "Bloody sweet talk to the man who raised you!"

"Out Fagin," he told him again, 

Fagin then left leaving Jack and me alone, 

"You alright?"

"Yeah sorry uhh long day is all..."

"Alright, well get comfy." 

"Thank you," I smiled taking a seat setting my basket down and unpacking it, 

"Ohh did you make pie!?"

"I did,"

"Can I have some?" he asked sheepishly 

"Of course," I smiled cutting him some pie,

"Ummmm! you are an angel you know that." 

I blushed but we started our card game as usual, we played for a good while the whole time I was eager to ask but I didn't want to just jump out the gate with things. But I knew I couldn't wait much longer.

"Jack?" I spoke up breaking the flow of our gentle conversation, 

"Yeah?"

"Can I... Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he shrugged, 

"Could you tell me, about- Men?"

He froze a moment his eyebrows lowered, his eyes looking at me questionably, "What about men?"

"...Everything,"

"Right..." he began, "why?"

"Well, It's just..." I began, "My mother is getting, insistent on me starting to court, starting to look into me getting married and I know so little about men, how they work, what they like, I have no idea and I'm very confused."

"Men are a mystery" He chuckled, 

"I know, But I just want... some knowledge."

"All right."

"Really?"

"Yeah, can't leave you completely clueless." He smiled, "You're such an innocent little thing, the first man who realizes just how innocent and... naive you are, will take advantage of your lack of information." He explained, 

"They will?"

"Ohh yeah, the first man figures out you don't know what you're doing there's no telling what he'll make you do." He chuckled, "But why are you asking me?"

"Becuase I trust you."

"Do you?" he shot me a look,

"I trust you enough."

"Thanks,"

"Also you know… you're a doctor I imagine you're able to explain it better than the average man”

"Good point, So? You wish to know the magic of men?’

“I do”

“Alright then… Well, how much do you know?"

“Well… I know on the wedding night the lady must lie on her back and open her legs for he husband. And then he will make babies.”

“...that's it?”

"more or less”

“Ohh my god- how does anyone expect you to know what you're doing with that, you sure you aren't told anything else?"

"that if I raise my skirt too high or too low men will be excited”

“...I mean, yeah that kinda is true.” He nodded, "There's more to it but on a basic level I guess... anything else?" 

“Uhhh my mother said if you let a man put his baby goo in your mouth and swallow it you'll have babies growing in your tummy”

"…What!”

“If you let a man-”

“I heard you! I'm just fucking astonished!”

“Is that not true?"

“No! You can't get pregnant like that!”

“Ohh I see… why would my mother like to me?"

"I assume to stop you putting men in your mouth… she tell you anything else?”

“The female orgasm is a myth”

“WHAT! your mother is fucking nuts!" 

"Is that not true?"

"No! I am very VERY sure about that!"

"Ohh..."

"Ohh you poor little thing..." He said, 

"Why?"

"You need an education." He said, "So when a man and a woman love each other very much..."

"Yes?"

"They start to kiss, and cuddle, and tell each other how they feel. And then they may decide to be... Intimate."

"I see," I nodded very eager to learn, 

"And yes when a man sees under a lady's dress he may get... excited." He smirked, "A woman's body is often very exciting for a man to look at, and if he gets excited enough he'll get hard."

"Hard?"

"His... you know."

"His what Jack?"

"you really are innocent aren't you," He chuckled, "Well a man has a cock. most of the time it's just soft and not really anything all that important but when a man gets excited his cock gets hard, It'll stand up and kinda make itself stiff." 

"Ohh... Why?"

"It's all the blood rushing there and causing it to expand and stay stiff, so he can use it for sex."

"Ohh Okay, so it gets hard for sex?"

"Yeah, it gets hard when he's excited and aroused." 

"Okay, then he makes baby goo?"

"Baby goo?"

"Yeah, he gets excited until baby goo comes out."

"... It's called Jizz. or ejaculate. but yeah it makes babies."

"Jizz. makes babies. But not in mouths?"

"No, only in your pussy."

"Pussy?"

"The ... hole between your legs y/n." 

"Ohh my special place." 

"Yeah, you lay on your back, or your side, or you can sit up too there's a lot of options but the main point is he puts his cock inside your pussy, and it feels amazing for both involved and yes you should get an orgasm you both should and when a man orgasms then yes he will Jizz and if it is inside of your pussy there is a RISK not one hundred per cent just a risk that you may get pregnant."

"Hu... Thank you, Jack,"

"You're welcome. See men aren't all that magic and mystical... we are pretty simple, to be honest." 

"What about other than sex?"

"Other than sex? Well yeah if you put a man's cock in your mouth it will also give him an orgasm but you can't get pregnant," 

"Do women get orgasms other than sex?"

"Yeah, they can, a man can use his mouth, or his hands, or even women can do it themselves."

"That's possible?"

"Very possible."

"Can... men do it to themselves?"

"Yes."

"Hu... Then why do you need a wife at all?"

he looked at me and laughed, "Because it's not the same having sex and giving yourself an orgasm isn't the same feeling,"

"Ohhh..." I nodded, "That makes sense,"

"You alright now? Anything else you wanna know?"

"Uhhh... Kinda,"

"Go on then,"

"What does a cock look like?"

"Uhhhh are you serious?"

"I've never seen one before... I'm curious."

"Yeah, I don't exactly have pictures of dicks laying around y/n."

"This is a hospital if anywhere has pictures and diagrams of dicks it's here." 

"No, I don't, sorry Y/n," he chuckled going to lay on his bed for a moment, "I'm rather tired after all that explaining" he yawned, 

"Sorry Jack," I smiled sitting on his bed with him,

"It's fine, I'm happy to explain to you, at least now you're not so naive," 

"I guess now, I'm thankful to be less naive."

"Good, I'm glad I could help." 

For a moment we just sat enjoying one another company as we often did, before I little spark of a whisper popped up in my brain, and I giggled.

"What?"

I smiled and held the skirt of my dress lifting it a little to show my leg all the way up to my knee, Jack's eyes met my skin and a smirk grew across his lips, 

"what are you up to y/n?"

"Just curious."

"Curious?" 

"Umm, I wanna see the magic of men."

"Do you know?"

"Mhm, so? Are you excited?"

"...A little." He smirked, "This what you want?" he asked sitting up and I nodded excitedly, "Alright Y/n, Come on I'll prove to you about the female orgasm" He smirked tugging me into the bed with him, 

[heavenlymorals]

Hi this is the TB!reader anon. Tysm for answering! I agreed with all that you said although one part did made me curious. So y'know how you mentioned that if a doctor recommended going somewhere then he would? I was wondering how do you think that'd work out with the gang? Surely it'd be difficult for Arthur with him being so loyal to Dutch and them. I'm also interested in how the gang would react since Arthur has been such an essential member

You're absolutely welcome, anon ❤️❤️❤️ I'm glad you enjoyed that, I took great pleasure writing it❤️❤️

When I wrote my response, I wrote it in the sense that the gang was out of the picture and I only wanted to focus on Arthur and his partner.

But if the gang was there? Honestly, I think it'd be pretty difficult. I mean, they clearly rely on him and there is also Dutch's guilt tripping.

But given how Arthur talks to John about getting out of there and taking care of his family and all that, there is also reason to believe that he'd ultimately put his partner first, especially if she's dying. Also, when he talks with Mary in their final interaction, he tells her that they will run away together right after he makes sure the gang is ok. Like, that right there shows that he is willing to leave them behind to go with Mary, but he just needs to make sure they are safe.

But this is a different situation. His partner is literally dying- he doesn't have the luxury of waiting and I think that Arthur would find that way more important then staying for Dutch. I mean, the only reason why Arthur stays with Dutch in canon is because of how he has nothing else besides the gang.

And there is reason to believe (just speculation and and a different interpretation, I'm not trying to present this as 100% canon) that Arthur WOULD'VE left the gang for Mary if they did get married but they never did. Remember, he says that Mary wasn't able to marry him because her family looked down on him for his status : "My money, my life, me. I wasn't good enough." And "I wasn't good enough to marry into your family, but it's ok in asking me to save your family?"

And in the next encounter? Arthur almost leaves because he doesn't want to deal with her father, and that's when Mary starts berating his lifestyle to defend her father.

"Surely you can't hate a man for the sin of loving his daughter and wanting better for her then, then-"

"Then me?"

"Then the choices you make!"

No where in the game does it say that Mary leaves him because he was an outlaw and didn't want to leave the gang. She doesn't marry him because her family barred her from doing so, especially her father and she clings onto that reasoning to justify to herself why she didn't marry him.

And also note that Arthur tells Mary that he WILL run away with her just as soon as he makes sure the people he is with are safe, which shows that he ultimately does choose Mary instead of the gang, but he needs to make sure they're safe first before leaving them forever and being with Mary. I mean the gang is in such a high stress situation after Blackwater, it's insane. I feel like a lot of people forget this.

But if his partner WAS in the gang and they are 100% established as being a couple AND she's dying? Yea, I feel like Arthur's priorities are going to shift because SHE'S the main focal point now. That's someone that he must take care of more than his fellow gang members. I mean just look at the way he talks to John about him leaving with his woman and child. Arthur believes that John has the responsibility of taking care of them FIRST and then the gang second because Abi and Jack are his actual immediate family.

So I honestly think he would leave. That's his woman. That's the love of his life and she is DYING. Fuck Dutch and his bullshit, they can take care of themselves, they are grown ass men and women.

I feel like the majority of the gang would be very understanding and accept that Arthur needs to go. Dutch might try to be passive aggressive, but I don't think it'd really go anywhere. Micah is Micah so he'd have a problem with it, but I doubt Arthur cares what Micah thinks.

Would Arthur come back to the gang after she passed away? Maybe. I mean, they let John back in for abandoning them for no reason whilst having a whole child. Arthur would have an actual reason to go and I don't think the gang is as heartless as all that.

Thanks for the ask anon, it has been so much fun and I hope you enjoy it ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[onthegreatsea]

idk man that income poll has rly fucked with me because it feels like suddenly all the dumbass shit i've seen on this site over the years makes so much more sense.

the majority of you arent poor. most of you didnt grow up around poverty. no wonder you're all so judgemental about criminals, and drug addicts and sex work and care way too much about fucking shoplifting and have the dumbest opinions on lgbt crap and place so much morality on shipping and stupid fandom bullshit and- fuck me. i didnt even think i was poor growing up because i always knew people who had it so much worse. i had a roof over my head and regular food and maybe on a birthday i'd get something nice.

i wasnt living in a place so small my room could barely fit a single bed. i wasnt homeless. i wasnt going to sleep hungry. i wasnt living right next to constant police raids and drug deals and stabbings. i never had to turn to sex work, i never became an alcholic to deal with the stress, i didnt have a kid at 15 years old, it wasnt my friend who died at 16 from an overdose, it wasnt my friends forcing me to jack cars and traffic drugs and- ... i was incredibly lucky when i was 13 because i got into a private school on a scholarship. that was the first time i actually felt poor. everyone had new phones and they went on holidays and had all this expensive makeup and clothes (that fit!)... they had all this wealth and they just took it for granted. and in their complete ignorance judged me for not being able to keep up. 'just get your parents to buy you a new one' 'why arent you coming on the school trip, its only £200' 'stop borrowing stationary, just get your own' ...some years later i decided to look up kids i knew on facebook. everyone from the state schools i went to, all the kids i knew who grew up poor... they were still poor. some had served time. most of the girls had kids as teens. all of them smoked. some were addicts. if they werent a single mother they were working in a grocery store or mc donalds. but the kids from the private school? they were lawyers and doctors and politicians. they owned big houses and their own companies or worked in silicon valley or whatever. one kid who bullied me ended up as the head of the immigration office. and none of kids from that private school were smarter or wiser. they werent more talented or harder working. and they sure as fuck werent nicer, better people; they were just fucking rich.

sorry "middle class" but the trajectory of their lives was basically decided before they were born. thats what generational wealth is. not being in poverty is such an absurdly privileged position and the fact that so many people on this site would rather channel their guilt into denial than recognising how fucking lucky they are is driving me insane

[doctormastertardis]

"Timelords turn into Gods" (the Doctor was originally a God from BEYOND the edge of the universe; he was part of the Pantheon, adopted by the Shobogans who then created the Gallifreyan society)

THEORY DOMINO:

THE MASTER IS/WAS THE TOY MAKER.

THE DOCTOR IS/WAS, WHO? (the central theme of the show)

BOTH OF THEM WERE MEMBERS OF PANTHEON OF DISCORD!

Ok, ready? Hear me out. This is LONG, so buckle up.

My instincts told me to go re-watch Martha Jones' season, and now I'm down a rabbit hole...

The Tenth Doctor mentions in Utopia what happened to Rose Tyler. He said something about how "very human" she is (as in, she is an empathetic person), and that was why she insticntively brought Jack back from the dead when she absorbed the Time Vortex. TEN ALSO MENTIONS that had it been a Time Lord who absorbed the time vortex, the Time Lord would become a God. But because Rose Tyler is human, she couldn't, and so yada yada....

In the last 2 episodes of Martha Jones' run, we learn that the Master (being the hypnotist that he is historically in Classic Who) creates a massive "hypnotic" device called the Archangel Network -- HINT HINT Toymaker in The Giggle, anyone? The similarities are there. Both the Toymaker and The Master created and dispersed a subliminal sound that plays all throughout human history as a way to hypnotize humans. Again, the similarities are there in plain sight.

CLASSIC WHO:

We all know that the Master first officially appeared in the television series during Third Doctor's run. He was initially a friend of the Doctor's, who became his arch nemesis, but we don't really know much else about the Master apart from that he went to the same academy as the Doctor to train to be a Time Lord.

Now, the Toymaker appeared during First Doctor's run waaaaay before The Master was ever conceived... he was "defeated" by the First Doctor... But even then, it seemed like the Toymaker was already familiar with the Doctor (I have to watch that episode, actually, some other Whovian may be able to assist me here).... NOW, the premise of the show has always been Doctor, who? Who is he? Where did he come from? But I believe the series is now delving in The Master's history first before we learn more about the Doctor's origin... because it's necessary. Because they're interconnected.

So far, we know that after the events at Traken, the Time Lord society brought the Master back from his death (post-Eight Doctor's movie)... he then became the War Master. An equivalent to the War Doctor. In TSOD (The Sound of Drums), Simms!Master mentioned that he ran away from the Time War and camouflaged himself in his chameleon circuit as a child who grew up to be Professor Yana, who then, became Prime Minister Saxon... blah blah. We all know what happens. He ends up on a Mondasian Cyberman ship and meets his future, Missy...

*AUDIO BOOK SERIES ONLY* The gap between Missy and Dhawan!Master is a bit more complicated, because it involves her transformation into "The Lumiat" (the good essence of the Master) who was eventually killed by Missy herself, who then regenerated into Dhawan!Master supposedly.

CHIBNALL ERA:

We finally learn that the Doctor was adopted by Tacteun, a Shobogan, who extracted the Doctor's DNA as a way to create "Time Lords"... we learn this through none other than Dhawan!Master, who clearly became a little bit more insane than all his prior incarnations.

Honestly, my mind is a little bit blurry in regards to Thirteen's run because her last series was SO RUSHED that I can barely remember the small details so please correct me if I am wrong. But from instinct, I know that we didn't really learn much about how Dhawan!Master came to find out about the Doctor's origins. We can, however, deduce that he was PISSED about it. Why though? Maybe he loves the Doctor? I mean, that's a given. But wouldn't it make more sense if Dhawan!Master was completely mad because he wasn't yet aware that he and the Doctor were both adopted from the Pantheon?

During The Flux series, we the audience would be under the impression that Dhawan!Master became bitter because the Doctor is "essentially better" than him due to the fact that his Time Lord DNA originated from the Doctor as a child (The Timeless Child Arc).

RTD'S RETURN:

BUT, considering how we are now DELVING into the depths of God/Goddess mythologies and "fairytales" (in connection to The Beast, Sutekh, and other DW stories involving mythological dieties), it is not farfetched at all to consider both the Doctor and the Master originally as part of the Pantheon of Discord.

Ever since the events of The Flux and The Giggle, we get to take a look at the edge of the universe where all sorts of (im)possibilities exist.

And I think that's where my brain stops... FEEL FREE TO ADD TO THIS IF YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT DOCTOR WHO LORE.

[witchofthemidlands]

i'm writing doctorjackrose angst currently in my recent fanfic chapter so you guys can have my brain rot as a result, i apologise in advance.

the fact that the two people eleven mentions by name is rose & jack as people he would want to spend time with to avoid his trip to lake is such a throwaway line but it makes me absolutely insane regardless because i can just imagine jack&rose being with any of the modern doctors & it still being as electric & beautiful as it was when they were travelling with nine (before satellite 5 obviously) because you cannot tell me that there were not polycule vibes between the three of them.

i mean, i can imagine that they would have so much fun with eleven. he's a near feral energy goblin & weirdly smooth in his own way so i feel like elevenjackrose would go on some incredible adventures. they would ALWAYS be touching one another in some way, there would probably be the most physical contact from this version of them & they would scare the locals of every planet they go to. eleven strikes me as the doctor who would attempt to be the big spoon & then decide that he'd rather enjoy being the little spoon between the three of them. ACTUALLY i can also imagine eleven innocently putting the three of them in bunk beds & being so elated about it that neither rose nor jack want to say anything but they nearly have & all three of them have somehow ended up in the same bunk before. I can picture them just being practically joint at the hip & just about get stuff done because they're always having a great time with one another & need to remember to stop being near indecent to save the world.

twelve, there would be ✨tenderness✨ (especially with rose, similarly to how the moment is with the war doctor) not as much physical contact as the previous regenerations but he'd probably link arms with rose & jack in an old fashioned manner as they’d walk around together. i think rose would adore twelve (both she & jack would tease him for the attack eyebrows though) & wouldn't even really take much notice that he looked a lot older than the previous regenerations because he’s got his usual big doctor personality, even more so as twelve & slightly more ✨unhinged✨ mean personally, i doubt jack would even speak to twelve at points due to the decisions he made concerning missy but despite all that, i think those three would have a wonderful time together. i can just imagine twelvejackrose all trying to fit in one big chair in the tardis library together to sleep whilst twelve rambles on about something. twelve would be the big spoon & would have his arms resting around both of them.

with thirteen i think thirteenjackrose would be similar to eleven where they’d have so much blissful fun together & be practically joint at the hip. her northern accent would be so nostalgic to both rose & jack. there would also be so much flirting between thirteenjackrose that the rest of the companions are nearly always facepalming (cue jack telling them that any of them are open to join in) i can also picture thirteen basically banishing jack to the tardis at first because she is sick of people assuming that he's the doctor & rose always finds that hilarious. people might disagree with me here but i think thirteen would be the big spoon between the three & would hold them both so close. i also think if rose&jack encountered the hologram that they would see thirteen as she is but it would occasionally flicker to other doctors probably both nine&ten.

[jakowskis]

Day 13 - Favorite ship(s)? Any Torchwood OTPs? Go ahead, gush about them!

dude i multiship so hard in this fandom i dont think there’s a single combination i havent thought of + found a way to enjoy, and that extends to trios. AND i like tw poly. i am mashing them together like barbie dolls. i am having sm fun here in my room

even the ones i don’t exactly “like” still make me Feel Things (more on that later), and even the ones i tend to prefer as friends (more on that later, too), i can still see it if i want to yknow. that’s what’s fun about the slutty bisexy show! woo! they all compel me. 

nonetheless, here are the pairings i like the most, ranked by how often i think of them + how insane they make me. im not gonna gush a ton, actually, bc i get annoyed w how much i talk, so ill keep every explanation under 15 words

owen x ianto: I Want Them Covered in Blood Together (Gnashing My Teeth) (by fall out boy)

owen x andy: golden retriever boyfriend for owen bc sometimes it’s nice to not be angsty (gooseberry who?)

owen x jack: i dont know how they make me feel but they make me feel Something :/

ianto x tosh: THEY’D BE SO CUTE they’d be precious that’s all

tosh x andy: see above. tosh deserves a sweet bf (there are no girls to ship her with 😔)

owen x suzie: they’re mirrors, they’re the same… they intrigue me. also Hawt xD (im bi)

owen x gwen: better as besties imho but im still a bi moron who’s not immune

jack x ianto: overrated imho BUT i do still like them. sigh. dead line speech wahhh

gwen x rhys: i love their relationship troubles n the way it grounds the show. theyre cute

jack x the doctor: sending jack off to harass the doctor so the team can Rest (+ Im Compelled)

jack x gwen: they compel me a little. a teeny bit. not too much but a little

(can u tell i like owen ships. he just has such fascinating relationships w everyone)

ok i lied ill say a couple things. firstly my otp being owento… i’ve talked a bit about it but in brief it started out because i can't resist having at least one enemies/rivals to lovers ship per fandom and ep12 blew my mind a little - and then something just Clicked and they somehow achieved top ten ships of all time status in my brain?? idk what happened there. i usually go for canon-based ships, so having one that kind of lacks substance in the source media (allegedly; i think they’re fruity in canon. but u know what i mean like theyre not ‘canon’ in a show where there is in fact gay TEXT rather than just the subtextual shit theyre doing yanno) and is largely a beast of my own creation (+ the influence of the wonderful handful of fic writers we’ve had over the years) has been rlly fun. 

im largely preoccupied with those two, but i’ve found jack + his relationship with ianto kind of inherently haunts owen x ianto… if you’ve read my fic you know what i mean by that. i can’t see owento existing on its own, like janto fundamentally co-exists next to it so i have to take it into account, and then jack and owen also have a fascinating relationship so i’ve kind of just ended up spending a lot of time thinking about and figuring out owen x ianto x jack in all combinations, because there’s a lot of fascinating stuff going on there from every end. introducing owen to the equation also kind of… ig redeems janto for me, bc i found them offensively underwhelming in s1 and s2. they should be dark and fucked up, and they’re not. owen kind of… brings smth dark and fucked up to the table, and a lot of why i like shipping him with ianto is bc they bring shit out of each other - and owen, for his part, is capable of bringing out ianto’s repressed rage and forcing him to deal with things he’d rather try to compartmentalize and ignore… i find that super compelling, and i also find it useful for breaking down my issues with how jack & ianto’s relationship is initially presented. like, he’s a handy narrative tool for that hfsdjkf. point is, whether i like it or not, jack and his relationships with my girlies (owen n ianto are the girlies <3) is kind of also an intrinsic part of what most of my fixation-oriented brain power goes into thinking about. i’ve been developing this huge fic ‘verse fdhfjk.... Im Very Tired

sometimes i like fun, though, which is what’s behind a lot of those other ships. i’m generally into very dark + angsty + psychological themes, but sometimes fluff and domesticity and occasional silliness is nice, and that’s what’s behind owandy (i have an au where they meet before owen dies) and iantosh (+ gwen x rhys) as my sort of… alternative endgame. my comfort ‘au’. not an au, exactly, but an alternative fluffier world to the darker owento-based one i’ve crafted and spend most of my time thinking about fdshkfj. i also like sending jack off to go bother the doctor, in this ‘au’, because unfortunately i don’t think he’s conductive to the team’s happiness. i think he needs to find his own way to heal and that should probs include the doctor, considering how obsessed jack is with them + how much he needs to unpack All That Shit he has going on before he can be any sort of truly positive force in the lives of the tw team. so for now he’s banned from the polycule for jack crimes. listen, i love that torchwood’s inherently sad and dark and lonely, it’s what compels me, and i’m ultimately glad that’s the core of the show - but it doesn’t have to be. sometimes i enjoy a nicer alternative. i think they could fix it. and that’s what fandom + fanfic is for. 

i also have several ot3s i enjoy, mostly owen ones. i think he deserves a bf + a gf, i think it’d fix him. put that bitch in a bisexual sandwich and maybe he'd behave. in particular, i love owen x tosh x ianto, it’s the only place i ship owen/tosh bc i think ianto would keep owen in check and they’d all better each other. i love owen x tosh x andy for similar reasons. can you tell the four characters im biased towards fhdskj. (i love gwen just as much but she’s kind of doing her own thing with just rhys and jack imo fdkfjsd. perhaps torchwood is composed of two polycules and jack is the link between both of them)

[pwnyta]

tell me about lost in general bc i watched it vaguely as it was releasing but i was. a child. and never rewatched it and i love learning abt media secondhand through ppl who are rlly into it bc i always learn things in variable order or with immense biases. :)c

THATS SO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY!!! THERES SO TO EXPLAIN!!!

Well obviously.... LOST is about a bunch of survivors of a plane that crashed on a mysterious spooky island and happenings HAPPEN & shenanigans ensue but the story is so twisty turny there is no way I could possibly explain...

BUT I WILL TALK ABOUT MY BLORBOS!!!

FROM MY SHOW!!!

We'll get these three dumbasses outta the way. In order-

Jack. Hes a doctor and the main guy of the series.

Kate. Shes a criminal. The main girl of the series

Sawyer. Hes way better then the other two also a criminal the rival love interest for Kate.. hes gruff. Hes smarmy. he makes insensitive jokes about people. He gets a way more interesting story than the other two. Hes like Daryl Dixon from TWD except actually hot and not stupid as hell. Theyre basically the same guy.

The tension between these 3 fuckin idiots is SO played out. None of this is Kates fault but her character is made significantly worse when this love triangle turned love... square when Juliet gets added later. Jack gets with both Kate and Juliet at some point and theyre both way more interesting with basically anyone else. Including Sawyer!!!

This is all Jacks fault. As per usual.

Jacks claim to fame- Being wrong... all the god damn time. So much that he does is just not correct. Except being nice to Sayid. That is always correct.

Kates Claim to fame- Bein bogged down by fuckin love interests and being an immediately better character when not around them. Especially when shes with Claire.

Sawyers Claim to fame- Bein a redneck guy.

Sun and Jin. Sun is the daughter of some shady business man and Jin, because he loves Sun, ends up working for her father and their life kinda spirals for a bit NGL but they get SOOOO much better.

MY BABIES.... DO NOT SEPARATE THEM.

Sun and Jin are so fucking good its actually crazy. Initially Jin was gonna just get killed off for bein a bastard but (presumably) the writers were like 'Are we really gonna waste DANIEL DAE KIM like that? Are we being so for real? Have you seen him???' And they changed their minds and Sun and Jin are both so precious and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I DONT WANNA SPOIL THINGS BUT I LOVE THEM. Theyre hands scene.... I WILL CRY FOREVER.

Suns Claim to fame- Crackin Ben in the dome cuz she REASONABLY didnt believe him! Jack could never.

Jins Claim to fame- Being found in the woods occasionally by world weary friends and instantly making theyre day better.

Walt and Michael...

I think what happened here is Walt grew too quickly for the show and he just sorta got let go... which left Michael with NOT MUCH ELSE TO DO.

BUT THE WRITERS DID THIS MAN SO FUCKING DIRTY ITS INSANE. The fandom too! Walt gets kidnapped by some dudes AT GUN POINT. AT SEA!!! AND NO ONE FUCKING CARED... EXCEPT MICHAEL. But people got REAL MAD at Michael for everything he did after in desperation to get his son back. MICHAEL DID NOTHING WRONG(except for all the wrongs he did but we forgive him.)

Michaels relationship with Sun & Jin was great. First there was a thing with Sun and Jin... and then Sun with Michael... and then Jin and Michael (A wild and adorable friendship holy shit)...

Anyways Michael deserved better KEEP MY WIFES NAME OUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH. Wasting Harold Perrineau... Imma watch OZ instead THATLL SHOW YOU.

Walts Claim to fame- Bein a lil cutie pie of like 5 minutes & then getting kicked off the show for growing like 12 feet an hour (speculation)

Michaels Claim to fame- Ruining Hurleys date & becoming Sun and Jins boyfriend.

Charlie and Claire! Charlie is drug addict member of the band DRIVE SHAFT! Claire is a pregnant lady whos secretly something to someone else but we wont get into it.

They are sometimes cute sometimes cursed Claire deserves better and NOT PENNYS BOAT STILL MAKES ME CRY. GOOD BYE.

Charlies Claim to Fame- Putting his hand on glass and devastating a community of innocent fans.

Claires Claim to Fame- Taking care of 'Aaron' IYKYK

Sayid has such a cursed life... if anyone has watched VLD... its worse than what they did to Shiro. People he loves keeps dying, hes forced to kill people, every time he gets hurt he looks up with his big sad brown eyes and says he deserves it. he tries so hard to be a good man... WHY DO THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO HIM.

Claim to fame- His big sad brown eyes and his luscious curls... and that time he snapped a mans neck with his ankles after he was tied up and beaten and held at gun point... As one does.

And then theres THIS fuckin freak... JOHN LOCKE.

His dad stole his kidney and threw him out a window paralyzing him from the waist down and he acts completely normal because of that throughout the rest of the show. (HES PHENOMENAL.)

Claim to fame- DONT EVER TELL ME WHAT I CANT DO!!!!!

Then theres HUGO. BEST BOY!!!! Hes basically the only normal person on this entire island. Sometimes bad things happen to him THROUGH NO FAULT OF HIS OWN OH MY GOD PLEASE BE NICE TO HIM.

Claim to fame- HURLEY HUGS!!!! GOLLY HE HUGS SO MANY PEOPLE AND THEYRE ALL HAPPY ABOUT IT!!! EVEN MILES! And Miles could find a way to complain about ANYTHING.

-----

Those are like the MAIN GUYS.

WHO THE HELL IS NIKKI!? We just dont know.

But have some important other guys~

DESMOND AND PENNY....

(me blubbering and bawling)

Claim to fame- (I just continue pointing and crying) CHARLIEEEE

BEN LINUS!!!

I know I called John a freak but heres John bigger freak of a boyfriend/tormentor/tormentee... This mans name is Been Lyin' basically and he'll lie about anything anywhere at anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea! AND PEOPLE JUST KEEP BELIEVING HIM. So at some point you just go... 'well they kinda deserve it.'

Michael Emersons performance as Ben Linus was so fuckin good they kept him on for the rest of the series even tho he was definitely not supposed to be there that long. IT WAS THE BEST DECISION. BEN IS SO GOOD(as a character in LOST hes a bastard otherwise.)

Claim to fame- Gettin his ass beat constantly. In a funny way. Sayid also gets bullied a lot but Sayid doesnt deserve it. BEN DOES. ITS FUNNY EVERY TIME.

Rousseau is a crazy French woman who lives in the woods. She does torture Sayid a little and a lesser woman would be incinerated for that action alone....... but I love Rousseau.

Claim to fame- Taking any opportunity to beat the shit outta Ben. Good for her.

Abaddon! Hes not an important character really at all... THEY DIDNT DO ANYTHING WITH LANCE REDDICK!?!?!? THEY JUST KILLED HIM!?!? FOR WHAT REASON DO YOU HIRE LANCE REDDICK AND DO NOTHING WITH HIS CHARACTER!?

Claim to Fame- BEING PLAYED BY LANCE REDDICK!!!!!!!

There are a bunch of other characters... ones that I love... like Frank and Miles and Mr Eko and Nikki and Paulo(who the hell are Nikki and Paulo!?) and Rose and Bernard and Boone and Shannon but I'll leave you with one last character.

VINCENT!!!!!! SUCH A GOOD BOY!!!

Claim to Fame- Making sure a certain someone does not die alone cuz they lived together.

I just wanna talk about LOST with you Just wanna kinda get LOST in you ya~ Was thinking maybe I could watch LOST with you cuz im already~ LOST IN YOU~

[twilightknight17]

Today on P3R, we’re technically covering three play sessions, because I didn’t have time to make a post before Katsucon. But a lot of that was Tartarus, so it’s not actually too much. ^_^

(Katsu pictures are coming at some point.)

Anyway, we’re off to Tartarus to train some and play with the new special attacks we got last time we were here! And get a little higher while we’re at it, so, let’s g--

Oh god oh fuck not you

It’s not the boss version, so it’s fine, but I didn’t think things showed up as enemies until after they were bosses???

The other reason we were in Tartarus was to get black quartz to trade to the guy in Escapade for a discount on fashion glasses. (Is there somewhere that will buy my gemstones? The police station won’t, and I get why, but like… I just have these.)

She looks very nice in those, actually.

Back at school, we’re still having a time. Odagiri of the student council has moved on to accusing the vice president over this one cigarette. And is not being diplomatic about it.

I’m gonna mess up his social link just because I keep not agreeing with him on these things. X’’’D

I’ve also met Keisuke Hiraga of the art club, who is a very good artist, but his dad is a doctor, so he’s also… Very Fussy. XDDDD

I can now hang out with my friends in the dorm, and I still think it’s weird that it calls them social links when I can’t start any of the girls’ links yet, and I can’t actually link with Junpei and Akihiko. I had tea with Mitsuru, though, and watched DVDs with Yukari, read manga with Junpei, and cooked with Akihiko. It’s nice! And some of them do give me stat boosts and items, so that’s cool.

I’m smooth now~

...well, shit. Here we go.

Minato’s theurgy skills are apparently the fusion spells, which you’re allowed to use even when you don’t have the actual personas with you, which is nice. The two I have so far are Orpheus and Apsaras’ Cadenza, and the Jack Bros doing a standup routine, which is cute.

I also got my first introduction to the Reaper. None of these floors really seem large enough to worry about it, so I think this appearance was scripted. Easy enough to get away from, though.

Nice.

Wait, what??? Can it do that??????

Once we found the missing girl, we escorted her back to the entrance, and I kept going til I found the next barrier floor. We’re done for now, so it’s time to go work on some more requests. Liz has a good one here. :D

I love that all the Velvet attendants have a soft spot for Jack Frost.

We also get our first intro to Koromaru!

Apparently he walks himself each day, since his owner at the shrine passed away. He stops for pets, but then carries on with his routine all on his own. He’s such a good dog. T_T

Ikutsuki drags us away from fussing over Koromaru to have a proper SEES meeting. He’s concluded that the Full Moon Shadows we’ve seen so far follow the Arcana from I to IV, and that there should theoretically be eight more, spanning from the Magician to Strength. And if we destroy them all, it will get rid of Tartarus and the Dark Hour, and we will have saved Iwatodai from Apathy Syndrome!

...they are us. There’s not much more we can say, Ikutsuki.

Yeah, let’s go to the mall after that seriousness. We can check out a new social link!

...oh yeah because this won’t go wrong.

School is still kicking my ass because this school is insane. But Junpei gets it, at least.

I can’t spend time with Fuuka unless my courage is badass-level, because apparently her food is just that scary. She wants me to be a badass, Mitsuru wants me to be a genius… Is Yukari gonna want a casanova or something? X’D

And even though Mitsuru wants me to be a genius, she called the police because she thought Junpei’s messy room meant someone had broken in.

And, as my last act before leaving for Katsu, these guys have made their first appearance, executing people in the Dark Hour based on requests on a revenge website. I don’t know how they wake people up from the coffins, but Tattoo Man over here is blasting people with a real gun, so that’s gonna be a problem~

.

[KATSU INTERMISSION]

.

I return from my convention, happy and optimistic, and school is immediately still full of bullshit. XD

You know, Keisuke, if you dad doesn’t want you to be an artist, and wants you to take over the hospital, why does he have fancy paintbrushes?

Anyway, Keisuke is about to win an art contest and gain the opportunity to study art abroad. And his dad is actually encouraging him to study abroad, so now he doesn’t know if he wants to do it because he doesn’t want to do what his dad wants. It’s kind of ridiculous, but the Fortune Arcana is all about choices, so… I guess.

We’re also off to fashion club to hang out with Bebe, who is actually surprisingly lovely despite being French. I appreciate his utter weeaboo enthusiasm. But… his aunt passed away unexpectedly, and he doesn’t know if his uncle will support letting him continue to study abroad. So not only is he upset that his aunt is gone, he also might have to leave the country he loves.

Neither were you, dude! It’s okay!

This is not quite NieR Automata levels of “everything is bad”, but things are pretty bad. I mean… people are just leaving the Lost laying on the sidewalks. :/

The Lost are the ones with Apathy Syndrome, but everyone else seems pretty apathetic, too.

I took Elizabeth to Iwatodai Station, and we had a lovely time.

The takoyaki lady can see her, which, don’t worry, ma’am. Just showing my weird cousin around. She won’t tell me what’s in the takoyaki instead of octopus, though, because apparently the knowledge would be detrimental. Which… okay, Liz. Thanks. That’s not worrisome at all.

When last I saw Maiko, she was planning to ask her parents why they were getting a divorce, in the hopes of being able to fix it. Which, not a great plan, but I couldn’t actually stop her. She wants to talk now, though, so we’ll see how that wen--

WHERE IS HE

Maybe we can throw them into Tartarus. Fucking hell. Maiko wants to run away from home so that her parents are forced to work together to find her, and I am NOT allowed to beg Mitsuru to let her stay at the dorm. This sucks so much. She wants me to keep her plan a secret, but good lord. This is going to go so badly.

I go home to stew on my thoughts and play computer games for babies to up my courage.

However that works. X’D

Lastly, I’ve reached my first choice that could potentially reverse a social link, I think?

We commit scandalous hand-holding, and it’s nice. Chihiro clearly has a crush on me, but I don’t know who I want to date, yet. OBVIOUSLY, I have my preference, but since my preference isn’t available, I dunno. Fuuka is nice. Mitsuru is… great, but also SO far out of my league. XDDD

Pharos came back for my one-week full moon reminder, so I guess that’s up next. They keep implying it’s gonna be the Lovers shadow, since couples are passing out and someone mentioned Shirakawa Boulevard, but I thought Hierophant was next.

Ah, well.

[cosmossystem]

Why are you anti-psych industry (like what do you mean by that) and how does that affect your own mental health? Do you not believe in therapy or meds? Just curious, no hate!

i mean i would ask why you're asking the person with heavily-stigmatized mental illnesses why they're against the psych industry as if it isn't well-known that the psych industry is inherently harmful to people like me. i feel like that much should be obvious.

it doesn't affect my mental health at all actually. i don't ever think about it. i only see it as a part of life. if anything it just makes me distrust doctors more, but that's par for the course when you're disabled and already hate doctors. i'm already not being treated for my mental health because guess what? mentally ill people are not treated as human.

i do genuinely want to find ways to manage my OCD and PTSD and ADHD symptoms, but if i have any of those diagnoses, i am at risk for being ineligible for HRT and i will die if i don't have access to HRT. not to mention the second you have those diagnoses, any other doctor will suddenly waive away any symptoms you have regardless of whether or not they're related because they don't see you as being worthy of treatment, or they think you're insane.

so why bother going to a therapist when there's a good chance they either won't take me seriously, or will only make my mental state worse? i'm functioning fine without any medication (for now) and i have enough self-awareness to know what my problems are and what i can work on. that's not a good solution, mind you, but it's how me and everyone else gets by when it's the only option we have.

you ask this like therapy or medication is some universal cure-all and it just isn't. they're bandaids on broken bones. they don't help everyone and they aren't easily accessible. the psych industry does as much for mentally ill people as doctors do for disabled or trans or fat people--which is to say: jack fucking shit.

the current psych system is, like every other system, broken. it prioritizes symptoms and diagnosis over treatment. it exploits vulnerable people. it helps perpetuate mental health stigma. every other bigotry affects your quality of care. and anyone who doesn't have something super common & seen as "normal" (like depression or anxiety) is treated like shit. it also perpetuates the idea that neurodivergency is something to cure or something to be afraid of--things like plurality and autism are not treated as alternative ways of living, but as something inherently "wrong" or "bad". those are all things i'm against for reasons i should hope are obvious to anyone who wasn't born yesterday.

why hate cops? why hate the industrial prison system? why hate the government and politicians? why hate doctors? why hate companies and corporations? why hate cars? why hate the psych industry? the answer to all of these is the same. they're broken systems upheld by a racist, ableist, binarist, and colonialist society. and they're all linked together. duh.

[not-psychotic]

i wanted to reblog, but then i figured i didn't want to take up space in your notes in case this is an astronomically bad take, but. regarding the hannibal liking/disliking bella discourse.

i think one of my favourite aspects of the episodes involving bella is the nuance with which her relationship with hannibal is treated.

on her part, she trusts him and considers him if not a friend then an ally. she likes him enough to be willing to die in front of him, enough to bring him a token of her gratitude.

hannibal feels about her the same way he feels about a lot of people on the show: indifferent, but faintly amused. there's like a distinction between the humans he considers no better than pigs, humans he only deems worthy of his time because he can play with them/enjoy what intellectual stimulation he can get from them (think jack, bedelia, abigail, alana, and yeah, even bella), and finally people like will.

he throws a coin to decide whether he wants to save her or not precisely because he feels so ambivalent. if he had disliked her the same way he did... i don't know, franklin? he probably would have poured himself some wine and just let her pass. i think he betrayed his indifference in throwing the coin, and when it landed on the "right" side, he was acting in a way that would protect him from any judgement, as is his usual.

after all, a doctor is morally obligated to give first aid to anyone in need of it – it's literally in their oath. if questioned about it, he could have defended himself by saying that while he respected bella's freedom, by choosing to die in front of him she had put him in the position to save her.

i think the best part about his manipulative skills is that he always, always covers himself by making it sound as if he were in a corner, forced by circumstances apparently out of his control to act in a certain way. he had to kill tobias, or he would have died. he had to save bella, or he would have betrayed what all doctors stand for. no one can question him, so he acts undetected.

at the same time, i wonder how much bella actually trusted him. she didn't seem too friendly with him, almost as if unnerved by his presence. she knew he was a doctor, knew that he would be obligated to help her, so why choose to die in front of him? she says she didn't want jack to find her, but i'm sure there must have been plenty other ways to go about that without involving hannibal. honestly i'm curious to know if maybe she also wanted to know what hannibal would do.

sorry now, this has become a GIGANTIC ask and i don't even know how i got here. but yeah, that's just my twopence on their dynamic, because it's really interesting and criminally overlooked. anyways. hope you have a good day!

yeah he flips the coin because he doesn’t care to make the choice himself. as to their relationship, we only ever see bella in scenes with jack or with hannibal or both. she wanted to die, she didn’t want jack to find her so her only other option was hannibal. which is extremely sad. saying that hannibal saving her was one of his “nice” “selfless” moments is insane to me. bella wanted to escape and hannibal plunged her right back into the miserable life she tried to escape from, now more trapped than before. and we shouldn’t act like the hippocratic oath is important to hannibal in any way