#i love their dynamic and how she obviously is harbouring feelings for him

[youdontloveme-yet]

"We are all your siblings, aren't we? But you chose to hurt all of us, just to protect one. Isn't that too selfish"

[spencerreidenjoyer]

we've already done it in my head | spencer reid x reader

You have fantasies about Spencer, and you feel bad about it when you have to see him at work. Thing is, he has fantasies about you too.

wc: 4.8k, rating: explicit

tags/warnings: professor!spencer, post prison!spencer, bau!reader, fem!reader, sexual fantasies, masturbation, daddy kink, getting together, hookups, friends with benefits (?), mentions of public sex/exhibitionism (they don't actually do it), fucking with feelings but neither of them really realise it yet lol...

a/n: i am insane and that's all i'll say about this fic. jk i started this at the top of the month and i'm glad i've finally finished it. this was such a crazy one to work on, aside from being swamped with school work. thank you to my lovely friend from twitter vic who kept encouraging me to work on this hehe. inspired heavily by taylor swift's guilty as sin? (obviously) and chappell roan's picture you just for those horny yearning vibes yknow? please enjoy this insanity!!! (crossposted to ao3)

Spencer rushes in from the university when Emily calls. It’s a serious case, one that Emily decides Spencer needs to be pulled away from his teaching for. She doesn’t feel good doing it – the whole team knows how important teaching is to Spencer, but he understands all the same when he comes into the round table room. Spencer sits down at the last empty seat next to you, his hair a mess as he sets down his things and flips open the case file. He turns to smile at you, before Penelope starts the case brief.

It’s a long, tiring day of work after landing in California, the BAU having been called in to investigate the murders of young moms in the area, and you need a glass of wine and a nice hot bath to even fathom everything you’ve seen today.

You should just turn in for the night, the Bureau being particularly kind with their budget as you all get individual rooms. Your drowsiness should put you fast to sleep, but your mind is racing with thoughts of Spencer.

Spencer’s been in his nice suit all day, filling out his shirt nicely. You’ve noticed his stubble growing in, and his hair is messy and gorgeous. You can’t help yourself for feeling this way, as guilty as you feel about it. You’ve been harbouring your crush on Spencer for way too long, in the couple of years since you joined the BAU. Spencer is a sight for sore eyes for sure, but his kind gentleness despite the horrors of what you all do for work is a welcome reprieve. 

While his sweet nature was what had you falling for him in the first place, Spencer could be extremely sexy, even if he didn’t know it. 

Today was especially tough for you. You and Spencer were sent in to interrogate a particularly uncooperative suspect, playing into the good cop-bad cop dynamic. Your coaxing wasn’t doing anything, and Spencer had ended up raising his voice in an attempt to intimidate them. He’d slammed his hand on the table, a loud clang against the metal, and his large figure only served to crowd the suspect in to scare them further.

You only got to know Spencer after the mess that was him getting wrongly sent to prison, but Spencer supposedly wasn’t like this before prison. Still, you found Spencer’s quiet intimidation incredibly attractive, and you had to keep your composure in the interrogation room earlier.

And your mind drifts to Spencer from earlier, his rough callousness with the suspect, his glare wild and intimidatingly sexy, you end up thinking about him.

About Spencer, who is so kind and sweet with you and the rest of the team, seeming like he couldn’t hurt a fly. 

About Spencer who could also be domineering and intimidating. He seems like he’d only pull it out if you asked, but the duality has you hot under the collar. 

Your eyes slip shut, mind swirling with thoughts of Spencer, about having him all to yourself, about him wanting you. 

About his large hands on you, making you feel so small under his firm grasp. 

About him pinning you down on the hard, cool metal of the table in the interrogation room. 

About him caging you in with his arms, the look in his eyes almost crazed and full of lust for you. 

“Spencer,” you gasp, before Spencer kisses you fervently. His stubble is rough against your skin, but you don’t care. Spencer kisses you like he’s a starved man and you’re his next meal, with such desperation that you feel weak in the knees.

“You’re gorgeous,” Spencer says. He kisses your jaw, down your neck, and his large hands are all over your body. You feel so secure in his grasp, he feels you up and drinks his fill of you. He gropes your tits, your thighs, your ass, manhandling you into spreading your legs, so he can press the hardness of his cock to your cunt. “Look what you do to me.”

You whimper, fully indulging in this wet dream as you slide a hand into your underwear. “Spencer,” you gasp.

“You’re so hot, you make me feel crazy,” Spencer hums, rolling his hips against you. You’re separated between layers of fabric, but Spencer humping you like this turns you on to no end. 

You rub at your clit in tight little circles, your wetness aiding the slide as you get yourself off to the thought of Spencer.

“Spence,” you moan, frustrated. While Spencer’s hardness grinding against you is literally a dream, you want to imagine his cock buried inside of you. You’re perfectly capable of moving this along, so you do. 

Magically, Spencer’s clothes are off and so are yours, the perks of a fantasy being that you don’t have to awkwardly stumble through taking your clothes off. You have a hazy picture of what he’d look like naked in front of you. You imagine toned muscle, a slight pudge to his tummy from his time in prison, his pecs filled out nicely. You imagine his cock would be pretty, as pretty as he is, veiny and thick and all sorts of perfect. 

“You’re too fucking good to me, baby,” Spencer groans, the blunt head of his cock pressed up against you now. He rubs off against you, sliding over your clit, your folds, over the wetness leaking from your whole. “Gonna fuck you so good, just like you deserve.”

Without hesitation, Spencer’s cock slips into you, the perfect thickness to make you feel full as he slides in inch by inch. 

You slip your fingers into yourself, aided by how impossibly wet you are just at the thought of Spencer, and your groan weakly. Two fingers aren’t enough, not when you bet Spencer could fill you up, like he’d split you in half on his cock. 

He pushes into you until he’s pressed flush against you, buried inside of you to the hilt. He starts to pound into you, like he’s uncaring of what you need, but the way he treats you turns you on impossibly.

Your fingers aren’t enough to satiate you, but you thrust them in and out of you in an effort to mimic how Spencer fucking you might feel. You moan, a little louder than you’d like.

“Spence–” you gasp, in your fantasy. It should be scandalous, Spencer taking you over the table in the interrogation room. You don’t know if the thought of people being behind the one-way mirror turns you on or not – being watched, letting Spencer take you in front of everybody. You like the thought of Spencer being so obsessed with you, so desperate, needing to fuck you right where you work.

The metal table is cool and harsh against your hips, but you don’t care if it hurts as Spencer fucks you relentlessly, quickly taking on a brutal pace. It’s exactly what you need, what you want Spencer to do with you, being rough and frantic enough to make you scream his name.

You whimper his name under your breath, bashful even while in your fantasy. 

Spencer has you pinned down, but it’s not like you intend to get away. You want to savour this even if it’s only in your mind, shameful as you’re getting off to the thought of your coworker. You just need this out of your system, need Spencer out of your system, and then tomorrow you can face him like a normal, well-adjusted person. 

“Fuck,” you gasp, palm grinding against your clit, fingers pressed inside of yourself. You’re shaking, with the thought of Spencer fucking you until you can’t take it anymore, the ideal of him in your mind too perfect, until you’re moaning into your hand as you orgasm. You sob, clenching tight around your fingers, feeling your slick gush out as you ride your high.

You don’t mean to fall asleep, but after both a long day and a crazy good orgasm, you end up passing out with a tissue clenched in your hand, with your panties and sleep shorts kicked off to the foot of the bed.

---

Spencer can’t stop thinking about you.

He shouldn’t, not when you’re his coworker and also one of the people he’s friendliest with in the unit. 

Spencer would say he couldn’t bring himself to trust many, especially after coming out of prison, but you were the one he warmed up to the easiest. A new face in the BAU wasn’t uncommon, but Spencer had found himself drawn to you. You were kind and warm to him fresh out of prison, your tenderness a welcome reprieve as he’d gotten accustomed to being back at the BAU. With your intellect and quick wit, matched with your beauty, Spencer could not help but be attracted to you – but that’s besides the point. 

Spencer knows how much your friendship with him means to you, and he’s certain that that’s all you see him as: a friend. 

Yet, he can’t stop himself from thinking about you in those pants. Those pants that hug your curves just right. Those pants that make your ass look great – not that he was looking – especially when you’re leaning over an interrogation table, trying to play the good cop with the suspect from earlier.

Spencer had hung back, trying to get a read on the suspect while you spoke to him. Him getting to ogle your figure and stare at how good you looked in those pants was unintentional, but he definitely wasn’t complaining. 

Spencer only felt a bit bad wrapping his hand around himself in the shower, mind flooded with thoughts of you. Water, almost scorching, running down his body, his hand moves fast and reckless, exhaling harshly as he gets himself off. 

He can’t get you out of his mind, your gorgeous figure, your pretty face, your wide eyes and thick thighs and soft lips – he shouldn’t be thinking of you like this. You were a coworker, a friend, for God’s sake, and yet he can’t stop imagining you under him. 

He can’t stop imagining pressing you against the table in the interrogation room – your lithe frame underneath him, making you look so small, making him feel so big. 

He presses his growing problem to your perfect ass, watching you writhe underneath him. You keep looking back up at him, with your wide, wet eyes and your flushed cheeks, looking like you need him to give you exactly what you need.

“Please, daddy,” you whine, and Spencer is groaning and undoing his belt before your pants get pushed down too. Stroking his cock quickly, Spencer easily finds his way to your entrance, wet and dripping with your slick. He pushes into you, pressing kisses to your neck as you groan with the intrusion. 

“Daddy,” you whimper, “Feels so good.”

“Yeah?” Spencer coos at you. Spencer feels you press yourself back up against him, pushing his cock deeper, and he loses all sense of control as he starts to fuck you hard. He feels like a madman, unable to hold himself back as he takes and takes and takes, fucking into your tight wetness, his head spinning with how good you feel around him. 

You’re whining and moaning under him, your noises music to Spencer’s ears as they echo off the walls. Your cunt is wet and sloppy as Spencer fucks you, wanting to give you everything you need and more.

“Fuck, baby,” Spencer groans, his hand tightly fisted around his cock. The way the tip of his cock leaks is easing the slide, as he pictures in crystal-clear detail how your cunt would draw him in, slick and messy be fucks into your perfect, tight cunt. “You’re too good to me.”

“Daddy,” you sob, your hands clawing down Spencer’s back. Spencer gropes you greedily through your clothes, grabs your tits and feels his fill of your waist, your perfect ass, your thighs as he rocks himself back and forth between them. 

“Gonna cum inside of you, love,” Spencer grunts, his pace unrelenting. His hands are on your thighs, gripping you tight, both fucking into you and dragging you onto his cock over and over. “You’re gorgeous. Gonna make a mess of you.”

You’re whining underneath him, making him feel too good, as you clench around him tight and moan even louder. Spencer can’t help himself, thrusting into you hard and fast and eager until he’s cumming.

He spills into his hand, the thick white ropes of his cum washed down the drain with the spray of the shower from above him. Visions of you flash through his mind, your gorgeous frame, your pretty face, your mouth on his. 

He’s barely towelled off before he’s knocked out in his bed, too tired to even process feeling guilty about jerking off to you. 

---

Sure, perhaps it’s childish to try and avoid Spencer all day, especially when you have an active case all of you need to be working on. You must be a fool to think that getting yourself off to Spencer would help, because all you can think about is your fantasies of him last night, how you imagined him bending you over and taking you– Not helping, you remind yourself.

Emily must secretly be on your side or be able to read your mind or something, because Spencer is relegated to work on geographic profiles and speed-read through case files back at the police precinct, while you get sent out onto the field to chase down your killer. 

But you can’t avoid Spencer forever, and you aren’t any good at it either. You feel like Spencer’s eyes are on you the whole day when you and him are in the same room, but you never look up at him to find out. While you could chalk up your nerves to a serial killer still being out on the streets, you don’t have any more excuses at the end of the day when you’ve finally caught him, and the team decides to get dinner to celebrate.

You purposely wedge yourself between JJ and Emily when you sit down at the table, trying to avoid Spencer, and you think you’re successful with getting away with seeming a little out-of-it when you end up slipping away early, claiming you had a rough sleep last night.

You’ve barely settled down in your hotel room for the night, finally feeling like you can relax, when there’s a knock at your door. You have no clue who it could be, but you open the door, and–

There Spencer is. 

“Hi,” you say curtly, feeling embarrassment wash over you all of a sudden, because all you can think about is getting off to the thought of him last night. You feel your cheeks warm, but you hope it’s not obvious that you’re blushing. Then, in an attempt to seem somewhat normal and well-adjusted, you add, “What’s up?”

“I should be asking you that,” Spencer says, his eyebrows furrowed slightly. “What’s up with you today?”

You press your lips together in a thin line before you say, “Nothing’s up. I’m fine.”

“Come on,” Spencer prods, his head cocking to the side as he deadpans. “You know I can read you like an open book. Something’s up.”

You frown, Spencer stoking the flames of brattiness in you. “Yeah? Tell me what’s the matter, if you can read me so well.”

Spencer’s eyes widen slightly. You watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows.

“I- I thought we said no inter-group profiling,” Spencer says, his voice a little weak, and for the first time, you see Spencer look a little helpless. It’s kind of hot. 

Do you make him… nervous?

“Yeah, but if you insist on thinking something’s up with me…” You shrug, smiling. Spencer just blinks at you.

No. You couldn’t possibly entertain the thought. 

Spencer clears his throat. You watch him fidget with his hands just slightly, before he puts them by his sides to seem confident. “Well, you’ve been avoiding me, on purpose or not – both attest to your desire to avoid me somewhat. You could barely look me in the eye all day, which means you might be embarrassed or guilty of something, likely having to do with me.” Spencer says, his voice even, but he isn’t looking at you. 

You raise your eyebrows. His explanation is both specific and vague, and you feel slightly called out and safe from his scrutiny at the same time. But, you can’t shake off the feeling that there’s something more to Spencer’s words, the way he’s looking at you like he hopes you can’t pick his brain apart. 

So, you turn it back onto him, “Then, what do you think is the problem? You aren’t looking at me either, and you were fidgeting with your hands. Is something up with you, then? It almost sounds like you’re projecting, Dr. Reid.”

Spencer freezes, like he’s a deer caught in headlights. You can practically see his brain running a mile a minute, overthinking every possible outcome, overly self-aware of himself, his actions, his thoughts.

You try to stop yourself from smiling, because Spencer is kind of cute like this. “You wanna tell me what it is then, Reid?” 

“When did this become about me?” Spencer squeaks, his usually cool facade quickly disappearing. There’s a look in Spencer’s eyes, as he nervously looks you up and down, and oh– “I just– Well, I– You–”

“I’m thinking we might be on the same page, here,” you say, smirking. “Wanna tell me what it is?”

Spencer furrows his brows, his mouth agape as he looks up at you, but you’re putting your hand on his chest and trailing it down slowly. “Oh–”

“Tell me, Dr. Reid,” you cock your head, eyeing him up and down lazily. When you look at Spencer’s face, he’s shocked, enamoured and turned-on all in one. 

“You’re… attracted to me,” Spencer says, somewhat uncertain. “The same way I’m attracted to you.”

“And what makes you say that?” You hum. 

“I thought I heard you last night. Through the walls,” He says timidly, nothing you’ve seen from him before. “Thought I should’ve gone over to help, but I realised you were, um– You were pleasuring yourself. To- To me.”

“The walls are thin, huh?” You laugh, a little sheepish, but you note how Spencer’s becoming shy at the thought. “Did you…?”

His eyes grow wide. “Did I do what?”

You smirk. “That tells me everything I need to know, Reid,” you say, laughing.

“Well, you shouldn’t presume–”

“Shut up and kiss me, Reid,” you huff. You pull Spencer closer to you by his tie and you press your lips to his. 

It’s too perfect, when Spencer’s mouth is finally on yours. His hands cupping your face, Spencer kisses you hard and eager, like he can’t believe that he finally gets to have you. He kisses you like he’s starving, desperate for you as his next meal. You moan as his hands reach for your hips, pulling you in closer to him, greedy as he feels you up.

“Did you fantasise about this too? About me, like this?”

“This is better than I could’ve ever imagined,” Spencer says breathily. “You… You’re so attractive.”

“Could say the same about you,” you laugh, reaching to unbutton his shirt. His tie is already loose, hanging around his neck, but you want to see more. You undo the top few buttons, revealing more of his chest. You trail your finger over the exposed skin, letting your nail graze it slightly. You hear Spencer inhale sharply, and grin to yourself, proud of the effect you have on him. “So, do you want to just stand around and talk, or do you want to fuck me?”

Spencer’s eyes widen, and you chuckle. As if he hadn’t expected this was how it was going to go. Spencer purses his lips. “I mean, absolutely. I want to fuck you. But, um– We should definitely talk about this though.”

“Later,” you say, waving him off, before you lean in to kiss him again. Spencer grabs your waist again, like he needs to have you close. He lifts you slightly, making you squeak, but the both of you stumble over to the bed, unable to keep your hands off of each other, unable to keep your mouths off each other. You sit down on the bed, Spencer crowding you in with one of his knees on the mattress.

You loosen his tie and take it off, while Spencer moves to unbutton your shirt. HIs hands move deftly, eager to undress you, and he pulls away to marvel at the curve of your breasts in your bra when he pushes the satin shirt off of you. “Wow.”

“Wow yourself,” you say. You appreciate the view: a dishevelled, eager Spencer Reid in your bed, his hands all over you, his shirt half-undone, revealing tanned skin and a gorgeous body. “Need you to fuck me right now.”

Spencer laughs, perhaps a little incredulously, and he instead moves to take his shirt off instead. “I’ll- I’ll do that.”

“Good,” you say, distracted as you admire Spencer’s frame, the lines of his body, the softness of his stomach. He’s so hot you might die. “Very good.”

“I’m glad you like the view,” Spencer says, a little timid, like he’s shy to show off in front of you. He meets your gaze when you look up at him, caught in the middle of ogling him with no shame. 

You smile up at him sheepishly. “Please fuck me, Spencer.”

“Okay,” Spencer smiles, warm and gentle. He helps you slide your pants and underwear off your legs before you spread them. Spencer’s jaw drops, his eyes focused on the slick mess of your cunt. “Oh, my God.”

“Yeah?” you laugh, thoroughly amused with his reaction. “Show me how much you want me, too.”

Spencer’s hands are quick to push down his bottoms, dress slacks and boxer-briefs on your floor in an instant, wrapping a fist around himself as he works himself up for you. You can’t tear your eyes off of him – “Spencer, you’re… big.”

“Am I?” Spencer asks, and you’d lose your mind if you weren’t expecting Spencer to fuck your brains out. 

“You are,” you say calmly, because if you let yourself sound any more excited he might think you were insane. “But I can take you.”

Spencer grins. “Good.”

His fingers press against your cunt after you tell him to do so. His slender digits pick up all the slick that’s leaking from your hole, spreading it around messily as he toys with your clit. You shudder with the sensation, throwing your head back against the pillows. Then, one of his fingers slips into you, and he coaxes you open with a care you haven’t felt from most partners before. “How’s that?”

“So nice,” you groan, getting used to the feeling. He fucks you on his fingers, slow and careful, intent on stretching you out until you’re comfortable. You whimper and whine, feeling embarrassed at how vocal you’re being, but Spencer is kissing your breasts without a care in the world, and then you’re thinking about letting him know that you do feel good. Your next gasp is less ashamed, as Spencer coaxes a second finger in.

You’re panting as Spencer fucks you on his fingers, the repeated motion only working you up even more. The squelch from his fingers fucking you is obscene, and his eyes are wide as he looks at you. “You’re perfect,” he whispers. 

“Fuck me, Spence,” you say. 

Spencer bites his lip as he sits up and settles between your legs. He’s tugging at his cock as he lines himself up with your entrance. He slides his length along your folds, wet with your slick, and you groan at the friction. You grunt, wanting more, “Come on, Spence.” 

His hand on your leg, Spencer leans forward so he can press into you, and Spencer is practically folding you in half so he can fuck you. You moan at his thickness deep inside of you, filling you up, and the stretch is so undeniably amazing. Spencer’s length drags against your walls, such a delicious sensation deep in your bones, and you sob a little.

“Does that feel good?” Spencer asks softly, his voice tender. 

“So good, Spence,” you gasp. Spencer kisses your cheek, down your neck, and waits patiently for you to give him the go-ahead.

You feel his cock twitching inside of your heat, both your fantasies unable to live up to the real thing. Confident, cocky Spencer in your dreams is just that – a dream. The Spencer right in front of you is perfect, more perfect than what you’ve dreamed: shy but so attentive and sweet. He takes such good care of you. It makes you lose your mind a little bit.

“Fuck me,” you insist, and Spencer puts his hands on your hips as he starts to move. He fucks you deep, just the way you need him, and you cry out as he digs into your soft flesh, holding you tight so he can fuck you hard. The way Spencer pounds into you has your whole body trembling, pleasure coursing through you like electricity, till your mouth has fallen open and your toes are curling. 

“You’re so much better than I imagined,” Spencer groans, eyes squeezed shut as he puts all his energy into railing you. “Can’t believe this is real.”

You clench around him just to hear him moan, and you’re proud of yourself when his hips stutter and a groan rips through his throat in his pleasure. He glares at you. You grin, as Spencer keeps fucking you.

“What- Oh, fuck– What did you imagine? With me?” You gasp, as Spencer rolls his hips in a particularly deep thrust.

Spencer squeezes his eyes shut, before looking down at you, like he’s really contemplating if he should say this. “I– I pictured bending you over the interrogation table. Fucking you, making you scream my name, taking you right there, I–”

You moan as Spencer hits that perfect spot inside of you, your legs trembling as you gasp, “I– Why did we have the same fucking fantasy? Fuck–”

“What? You thought of me that way too?” Spencer sounds incredulous, like he can’t imagine you thinking of him that way– As if he isn’t drilling you into the hotel bed right now.

“Fuck, Spencer– Oh, my God– Yeah, I– You had me pinned down on the table, and you were fucking me in the interrogation room, in front of all of them–”

“God, you’re perfect,” Spencer grunts, burying his head in your shoulder as he uses the leverage to fuck you deeper, harder, faster. You can’t stop moaning Spencer’s name, simply too overwhelmed with the pleasure he’s giving you, the way he’s fucking you into the mattress. This is all you’ve ever wanted. Spencer fucking you like a madman, giving you all the pleasure you need but still being greedy enough to take and take and take. 

“Please! Spencer, you– I’m gonna cum, I can’t–” You cry, sobs wracking their way from your throat, so loud but you can’t be bothered to keep yourself quiet. Spencer groans your name, a sweet, sultry sound, and you feel like you’re going to lose your mind. 

“Cum for me,” Spencer hums. “You’re so perfect, and you’re laid out like this all for me. You’re so fucking hot. Show me how good I make you feel.”

You’re sobbing as your orgasm hits you, overwhelmed by Spencer’s filthy words and his filthier actions, so intense as he fucks you into next week. It’s too good, and you lose yourself much sooner than you expect. Your pussy clenches tight around Spencer with your orgasm, sending him over the edge as he fills you up, cock twitching as he cums inside of you.

He collapses on top of you, his weight comfortable as you both catch your breath. Your mouth feels dry, but you don’t care when Spencer is leaning over to kiss you again. It feels so right, this wild feeling you only thought existed in your dreams.

The next morning when the team is gathered in the hotel lobby to head to the hangar to fly back to Quantico, Emily gives you a pointed look, and Rossi is clapping Spencer on the back with a knowing grin. You apologise sheepishly, while Spencer grows red, avoiding eye contact with the rest of the team. He only meets your eyes, and the two of you share a smile. You can tell neither of you want this to end here. Maybe you’ll talk about it when you get back home. 

[florenceafternoon]

━。゜✿ jily fic recommendations ✿ ゜。━

These fics are set in the wizarding world but aren’t necessarily canon complaints.

A while ago I posted about how one of my favourite part of reading canon jily is when they're a bit older and Lily is looking back in retrospect. The part where James shows her how he gets that this war that's looming over them, it's bigger, older, than they are and even though the world feels like it's ending his top priority is that they remember to enjoy the happy moments. To live in those moments.

Jily has always been a hot cup of tea on a cold and rainy day for me. I hope these fics give you a short break from life, even if it's just for a moment.

For reference, anything in italics is taken from the summaries.

These first few fics are all by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Abi's characterisation of Lily and James as individuals are so special to me. How she writes jily is perfect - I mean the banter, the tension, the overall dynamic between them is just on point!

basic maths

Euphemia cuts Sirius off sharply. “I was simply verifying whether this is indeed the same Lily Evans whose name is written under my dining room table with a heart around it.”

or: Lily meets the parents and James tries not to hyperventilate. over and over and over again.

we suffer in silence

"It's fine, Evans," James interrupts, waving off her apology and offering a reassuring smile. "You've always been an exception to the rule." A hint of warmth spreads through Lily at his words. "You've never liked rules." He chuckles softly, his lips quirking up in a lopsided grin. "Which is why I never had a difficult time liking you."

or: James has had a bad day and Lily gives her best go at cheering him up

I've already made a whole post about how much I love this fic with my favourite quotes and everything, but god please if you read anything today let it be Abi's jily fics because they are legendary.

star light, star bright

It's seventh year, somehow, that clinches the case, claiming the grand prize in the annals of Lily Evans's misfortunes. Because, as it turns out, harbouring feelings for James Potter while also navigating the precarious terrain of friendship with him is a fate crueller than death.

or: James keeps accidentally touching Lily and she's about to lose her mind

amenable parameters

“Truth or dare, Lil?” “Dare,” she replies without hesitation, leaning back into the worn leather booth. “Obviously.” Hestia’s eyes gleam. “Go snog Potter.”

or: lily gets brave and james's patience is rewarded

here lies

James can't hold his drink, or his affections

the start of (something) new

“Oh, really?” Petunia crosses her arms. “What’s his name then?”

Lily pauses here, but only for a moment as her mind flashes back to the field at Jubilee Gardens. “James,” she says confidently. “James Potter.”

TW: this fic does depict a slightly descriptive panic attack.

Lily you are so valid for looking. For those of you who've seen the AU rec list I just posted, please know that this fic is the reason why I added all those footballer!james fics (well this fic and the euros).

common ground

Lily pauses, suddenly aware of James’s intense gaze. “What? Why are you…” Heat rushes to her cheeks, and she hates it. “Why are you looking at me like that?” “Nothing,” he says, shaking his head. “It’s just…it’s a good look on you, Evans.” “What is?” she asks, self-consciously. His grin widens. “Mischief.”

sidewalk chalk, covered in snow

She didn’t mean to get used to any of them.

or: Lily Evans is strictly anti-Marauders…until she isn't. one by one.

waiting for the light to take us in

James removes his glasses again. “Evans…” He searches for something to say and settles on, “You don’t even like flying.”

“I could like flying,” Lily says, shrugging. “I like you.”

He doesn’t take that bait in the way she wants, and her heart sinks just a bit more. Instead, he chews at his lip, considering and considering and considering some more. Lily wants to scream.

A reminder that even though it seems like others may have it harder, you deserve a break too.

Questions and Answers by lizardcookie (on ao3)

The simple question of whether or not they're dating doesn't exactly have a simple answer. Seventh Year Jily.

A Very Sick Dear by Nostalgicdragonfly (on ao3)

It's a very rare disease, but James gets it anyway and he has to endure the pain of having the favorite flower of the person he loves growing in his chest. He's been hiding his struggles. Lily loves roses yet James is the one getting cut by their thorns. But when a new healer arrives and things get out of hand, a lot would depend on whether or not James accepts his only treatment.

or James has hanahaki disease

Thank You For The Music by @thelighthousestale

Lily Evans is homesick during her first year of Hogwarts. Then she hears a familiar tune.

Erasmus Lovegoods’s Guide to Brewing Love Potions also by @ /thelighthousetale

At the start of every school year, the Ministry of Magic distributed leaflets to all students taking potions classes regarding the regulations and legality of highly controlled potions.

Lily Evans thought the Ministry would probably have more success in decreasing illegal potions brewing on the castle grounds if they didn’t give such detailed instructions about the potions in its published propaganda literature.

Of course, every year's most popular leaflet was the one warning about the dangers of brewing love potions.

Or how an accidental explosion in NEWT-level potions finally forced Lily and James to confront their feelings.

falling into place by @charmingwillow

Lily overhears something that maybe she shouldn't have.. things sort of happen from there.

Limbo by Random-Musings (on ff.net)

Lily's sour Hogsmeade weekend takes an unexpected turn.

The next few fics are all from it's about the Gazing collection by @firefeufuego. I recommend this collection to my friend who doesn’t read jily and the first fic alone had her texting me "I get why you love them so much and I also get why you want James Potter"

(get on out of your seat) all eyes on me

As James stops to catch his breath, he also catches Lily’s eye, already fixed on him in the blatant, unblinking way he hasn’t seen since she used to verbally eviscerate him for minutes on end. It hits with the same mortifying heat as it always did then, when he used to stand there watching her yell at him and imagine her mouth doing everything else. He’s ridiculously grateful for whoever throws the ball straight towards his face for saving him from the fate of just standing there, watching her watch him with his dry mouth open for the rest of eternity.

In a movement of pure reflex, he grabs the ball out of the air and starts back towards the end of the pitch before Orie comes out of nowhere and takes his legs out from under him. Winded and disoriented, James sighs at the universe’s rather unsubtle visual metaphor. Is it even worth getting up again when he just keeps falling and falling and falling for her?

(soft spoken in the dead of night) all eyes on you

Lily has watched him do this multiple times before and it’s just tea and it’s just James and there should be nothing special about this particular moment, except that the sight of him, the fact of him, is suddenly earth-shattering.

Something like nostalgia fills her in a flood, only it’s the future she’s longing for, a future she can see with absolute clarity. The features James inherited from his parents are so faithfully recreated on him that it’s easy to imagine him at their age, with a shock of white, still unfairly thick hair framing a face lined by a lifetime of laughter, making her a cup of tea exactly the way she likes it and smiling as she teases him.

Don't be fooled by the summery, this is pure self indulgent smut. I complain a lot about pretentious people but the Austen and Keats reference had me swooning. The myth of Eros and Psyche is probably one of my favorites so…

in the morning when i wake or the morning after

With trembling hands, James brings the smaller piece of parchment closer to his face and starts to read.

To the love of my life,

You idiot. Get back here.I’ll be in your room.

Lily.

Surface Pressure by @eastwindmlk

Lily dealing with the weight of her own expectations in 7th year

no, i could never give you peace by @kay-elle-cee

James blinks. “Are you breaking up with me, Evans?” he jokes softly, resting his hand on hers. It’s a joke, but her body tenses and it immediately puts him on edge. The silence that follows is excruciating.

“I’m not doing anything.” Her nails begin to tap on the mug again—a nervous habit that James spots immediately. “I just think we should have a conversation.”

Trust Kels to serve Order!jily angst and pair it with one of my favourite songs of all time

bury it and rise above by @startanewdream

"James? Do you believe in magic?"

Or Lily is a Witch. James is a Muggle. It's not easier.

When It's You by idreamofjily (on ao3)

James is naturally affectionate and Lily really isn't. But maybe she can make an exception, if the way her stomach drops every time James touches her is any indication.

desiderium by @missgryffin

Sometimes all it takes is champagne and a slow dance, and then there's no going back.

The Vow also by @ /missgryffin

When he was thirteen-going-on-fourteen, James Potter did something truly, unbelievably stupid. Now that he’s seventeen-going-on-eighteen, he has to deal with the consequences.

Accidental Magic also by @ /missgryffin

What else is there to do after confessing feelings in the middle of the night than spend a lazy Saturday in bed?

Are You Experienced? by @annabtg

James Potter decides to ask Lily Evans to a Muggle live music show. This noble mission, however, requires a series of steps he is entirely clueless about: from procuring the tickets to finding the correct outfit, and most importantly, to spending an evening with Lily Evans without making an absolute fool of himself.

Also including the gorgeous cover art by @constancezin

by the lake by @possessingtheproperspirit

james finds lily by the lake.

not in need of a knight by @thejilyship

“If they start something, I’m going to finish it.” James said, crossing his arms over his chest. “And if it ends with you in the hospital wing?” “What do you care?” “Do you really think I’d bother to argue with you so much if I didn’t care?” Lily said, breathing sharply through her teeth.

[dioriysus]

love the fact that tim drake’s vulnerabilities and mental health are more explored in the fan fics but he is unfortunately, somewhat suave canonically and is skilled at harbouring all the trauma or atleast intellectualising it rather than giving himself a moment to just feel the emotions (atleast that is my impression from the haze of memories). usually the fanfics depict him as someone unable to control his vulnerabilities and there’s nothing wrong about that but part of the reason that he doesn’t get much opportunity to be outright vulnerable is bc he is a skilled navigator among ppl and convos. the boy literally knows and analyses any thought/emotion that pops into his mind, he’s obsessed with his ability to manage it all.

i think the main emotion he suppresses is guilt and bc he’s objective enough to understand that under this line of work, there is technically no point in feeling the guilt, it’s disregarded and builds up. guilt about his responsibilities as a vigilante, for potentially endangering the lives of the civilians he loves, the overwhelming pressure to please everyone in both sectors of his life. he’s mature for his age, something that’s acknowledged by his family and surroundings and somewhat by himself as well. he doesn’t let himself linger on disappointment towards others as often as he should and moves onto what is under his control immediately.

that’s always been his biggest coping mechanism, control. tim doesn’t dwell, he has enough awareness of the world and his position in it to not constantly be reacting instead of just acting. i think that’s why him and steph’s differences in social backgrounds didn’t hinder the relationship bc he is generally a smart and self aware guy and can empathise with others while sticking to his moral grounds.

steph’s introduction into his life helped tipped the balance he so proficiently curated on the matters of heart vs head. it’s simple around her. yes, he feels a responsibility to keep her out of vigilante life as batman’s protege but she expects nothing from him (at first) and he likes that. that’s not to say that he didn’t fulfil any boyfriend responsibilities (he literally was there to help her deliver her baby) but she likes him for all he is and he does the same and everything else comes naturally and out of duty of the heart.

i think after war games and all, we obviously see him transform more and more into Batman. his civilian life that used to be as equal and important as robin became more withdrawn, a little less genuine and more tactic based? it was an understandable progression given all the losses he had been dealt with. the charms that came from him as a well-rounded person with academic/emotional intelligence were sort of lessened to tools to help enhance robin/red robin’s missions rather than.. ykno.. actually make good connections with people.

can’t say much bout the new52/rebirth as i hadn’t taken in much of Tim’s characters as vividly as his 90s series.. but i do commend the dc writers on letting Tim talk about how much he likes bernard and why.. feel like the last few timsteph content (minus some of the yj stuff) started to feel stale and was just Steph sulking around him (pls don’t hate meeee, there were cute moments but i missed the tension and chemistry from their original run)

i think he’s an incredibly interesting character and if there are to be any other live action depictions, I’d rather they take inspo from the robin series than anything else. let him be the well-liked guy who seems to be doing well in everything and then we can dive into the dynamics with his father, with Batman and other authorities in his life.

also i reckon if damian hadn’t met Tim through his connection to Batman, he would’ve had similar kind of dynamic as he does with dick 😭 idk i love looking at the parallels b/w tim and dick. tim wouldn’t obv give as much grace to damian as dick does, nor can he intimidate him through any means of physical combat like jason (i giggled writing this bc Damian doesnt take Jason seriously but atleast they’re both aware that they both need to reel in the violence). idkidk they’d have a fun back and forth relationship and Tim being the strategist he is would put Damian’s strengths to good use and Damian would respect that.

ok let me stop this rant once and for all bc i have actual tasks i need to get done but i lauv tim drake if u couldn’t tell! if there are any points of this essay that doesn’t make sense, that’s fair bc pls let me reiterate that my memory is not the strongest soldier and i could be mixing iterations of tim from all places saur yeahhh

[wowthatsextra]

how would you rank the seasons of the oc?

(oh and btw i'm working on your ask, i just love so many of ryan' scenes, so it's hard to find specific ones)

Well I adore all the seasons but my ranking goes a little weird. There are first and second halves bc I can't decide full seasons lol

Season 1 is the best obviously. The classic class dynamics, the characters being babies and just starting off their development, the Cohens accepting Ryan and the beginning of Ryissa and Sethmer/the core four. I remember watching the first two episodes being like- yeah they always fight and burn shit down, this show seems like my thing. Thank you @closetfascination for recommending it xD. The Oliver storyline was so intense and all of the conflicts in that season is so entertaining and dramatic, even though there were ones that didn’t age well- like Luke's gay dad or Hailey's stripping.

Then I'd say Season 2B. Mostly because Seth and Summer and Ryan and Marissa coming back together as couples and as the core four. The Mallpisode was great! The whole "save Trey" drug bust storyline was cool too- I basically gasped when Seth and Ryan are talking in the kitchen and Seth is like, are you disappointed Trey is selling drugs after everything you did for him? And Ryan is like he isn’t, he only confessed to the police to protect Marissa. Seth asks how do you know? Ryan says, because I was about to do the same. It was painful to see the SA storyline and how it impacted Ryissa. Loved Marissa and Alex's relationship in the beginning but didn’t like how they treated them later on- I get that they were getting homophobic backlash but they didn’t have to casually homophobic too :( Julie and the revenge porn situation was so icky although I did like that she was about to kill Caleb for money but saved herself from doing it but he died anyways lol. The comic book storyline was so ridiculous it was funny. And of course, Kirsten's deterioration was the hardest but it made so much sense.

Season 3A. I love how the season starts off them facing external battles (expulsion, scrutiny) but internally going strong. The core four was ride and die for each other! Sethmer planning to go to college together was so cute, and I like that despite being horrible to Ryan, Julie stayed loyal to Kirsten and protected her and the town from Charlotte's scam. It ends with the core four successfully getting Marissa back into Harbour which is very sweet! I didn’t like the Taylor/Dean Hess storyline but him getting kicked out was satisfying and even though Taylor started out annoying, I grew to like her when she started befriending and helping them. I even liked Marissa's public school storyline until the Johnny thing became too depressing.

Season 2A. Loved Seth and Ryan being back but the whole season is Kirsten and Sandy slowly facing issues and it was so painful to watch :( Marissa had it rough with her mom and Ryan leaving and DJ, but her dynamic with Alex started off really fun. I liked Lindsay's character and her relationship with Ryan and the reveal that she was Caleb's daughter but the aftermath was painful as expected. Sethmer started off kinda flaky and shaky but they got better eventually.

Then 4. It starts off dark but I'm glad they took the time to honour Marissa. It feels like a different show but I loved it. Ryan and Taylor's entire relationship is so funny and sweet and I love that Ryan got to be a little lighter this season. Sethmer getting engaged was funny but also a little frustrating. This season would've been higher because I was mostly happy and carefree watching it but it's so low because Frank's introduction was so suspenseful and fun but they ruined it for me by making it another "let's forgive abusive parents for doing the bare minimum". I loved the ending though- Julie getting her degree, Sandy and Kirsten having another baby, independent Summer, Sethmer married and Ryan helping that kid. It was also funny when Chris Pratt was in love with Seth for two seconds lol

Season 3B. It's the last one because it is the most painful lol (Ryissa breakup, everything about Johnny, them being in random relationships especially Marissa and Volchok ew and her eventual death) but I really love it too. Summer and Marissa officially becoming sisters was cute. The post-breakup friendship between Ryan and Marissa came naturally to them without the romantic expectations. Ryan's jealousy arc with MV was so fun- I always howl in the scene where Ryan and Sadie are hooking up in the poolhouse and Seth yells from outside that Marissa is hooking up with Volchok and the scene cuts to Ryan letting Sadie out because "the mood is ruined"- and ofc the prom and the aftermath. Ryan learning about Theresa's baby and putting up boundaries with Jess was cool to watch. Sethmer breaking up over college was frustrating and sad but glad they got back together and Seth smoking weed and burning down Sandy's office was so funny. Kirsten almost relapsing was sad and I'm glad Sandy finally prioritized family over the hospital.

Finally ugh 😭 sorry for keeping this hanging for so long! I'd respond to the other asks soon <3 best wishes!

[jamiebamberdaily]

TV Times Interview - Issue 12 [18-24 March 2023]

Tap/click ‘Keep Reading’ to view the transcript.

Jamie Bamber is no stranger to crime dramas, having played detectives in gritty ITV1 series Law & Order: UK, Marcella and DI Ray. But for his current role in BBC1’s sun-dappled whodunnit show Beyond Paradise, the actor is enjoying a rather different beat as dashing vineyard owner Archie Hughes, who is far more interested in sampling fine wines that solving complex cases! As the Death In Paradise spin-off continues this week, Archie and his business partner - and ex-fiancée! - Martha Lloyd (played by Sally Bretton) welcome a food critic into their cafe, hoping it could boost the fledging enterprise’s fortunes. All the while, it’s clear that Archie is harbouring feelings for his former flame, who is now happily engaged to DI Humphrey Goodman (Kris Marshall). Here, in an exclusive interview, Jamie, 49, tells TV Times why he’s relishing causing a stir in the (fictional) Devon town of Shipton Abbott...

The fourth episode feels like a turning point for Archie and Martha’s business, but he seems very distracted by his feelings for her, doesn’t he?

Yes, Archie is someone who’s living with regret. Martha is the one that got away, and it has taken him a fair few years to realise that that was the opportunity of his life. He’s a very successful guy with a lot of options; he’s been privileged from birth and he’s made the most of that. But I think the one thing he feels he maybe didn’t appreciate when he had it was Martha. And lo and behold, there she is!

When Archie originally offered to invest in Martha’s new cafe, was he genuinely trying to help or was there an ulterior motive?

A lot of times in life, we’re not entirely clear what our motivations are for different things that we do - they don't necessarily have to be one thing or the other. I think Archie enjoys the fact that she’s come back to Shipton Abbot, and he likes her and is attracted to her, he he likes Humphrey, too. When he met Humphrey, he was pleasantly surprised! Archie wants to be part of Martha’s new life, but whether he's planning to somehow come between the two of them, I don’t think it’s as cut and dry as that.

Are you worried about how viewers might react if Archie does cause probelms for much-loved couple Martha and Humphrey?

Obviously, the character is treading a fine line, but I am very secure in the knowledge that Beyond Paradise is an extremely well-put-together, accomplished piece of television writing. It’s still a ‘will they, won’t they?’ story in some regards, and Archie is a part of that dynamic. It depends on who you side with as to who you root for!

We hear there’s a big storyline for Archie in next week’s penultimate episode. Can you share any teasers with us?

It’s really fun! Like most of these multi-arc TV formats, each episode stands alone but there are various intrigues that last the series, so the nearer you get to the end, the more there is at stake. Episode five is great, because Archie is involved in the case of the week - and he is a suspect...’

Intriguing! Did you enjoy working with the other cast members on the series?

Yes, it was an absolute pleasure. And Sally and I got on very well from the first moment we met, which is important. Barbara Flynn [who plays Martha’s mum, Anne Lloyd] is a legend - she’s cheeky and has a glint in her eye that’s great fun to bounce off! It’s the same with Sally and Kris, too. They’re all accomplished comedic actors, and that was a real boon for me.

The show was filmed on location in Devon and Cornwall. Were you able to fit in any sightseeing?

Yes, I fell in love with Looe, in Cornwall, in particular,which is the main stand-in for Shipton Abbot; I thought it was beguiling in every way. My wife [Bad Girls star Kerry Norton] happened to e shooting a thing on the north coast of Cornwall, so she came down to Looe and we were able to do some walks along the coast and go out for meals. I played quite a bit of golf, too, because I was put up in the lovely [village of] St Merryn, which has some great courses!

Talking of filming in beautiful places... Would you like to see Archie pop up in Caribbean-set sister series Death In Paradise for a crossover one day?

That would be fantastic! I’m not overly familiar with Death In Paradise, having lived abroad for the bulk of it’s run, but I’ve seen enough to know that it’s a global success, and it’s super-fun to be part of its little baby sister show here. I couldn’t be prouder to be involved, and if that involvement continued in any way, I would be delighted for a crossover. And on a ‘Jamie and family’ level, a trip to Guadeloupe [Where Death in Paradise is filmed] would be great!

Last year, you played DCI Martyn Hunter in police procedural DI Ray, and before that Sam Wright in ITV1’s 2021 drama Innocent - both characters who seemed lovely but were later found to be harbouring dark secrets. Do you like taking on roles that shock viewers?

I really enjoyed both of those shows, and, yes, I spotted the same pattern - and it goes back even further to Marcella [Jamie played DI Tim Williamson in the first two seasons of the drama, from 2016 to 2018]. There’s clearly a thing going on with me and telly! I don’t know how much of that is move systemic in terms of casting and tropes, but any time you get to play ambiguity and wrong-foot an audience is always fun! But I’m not going to give anything away about where Archie ends up...

What are your next projects?

I’ve got two things that haven’t come out yet. One is Netflix thriller Who Is Erin Carter?, which I’m really excited about, and the other is Cannes Confidential, a kind of screwball cop show in the mould of [1970s action comedy] The Persuaders! That’s coming out on Acorn TV, and on French TV. It’s English-language, but we’re currently dubbing it into French, so that’s what I’m doing most weekends - getting on a train to Paris and putting my performance from English into French. I’m a pretty fluent French speaker, but it’s still a real challenge!

[they-them-that]

The Priest was my least favourite part of Fleabag.

I understand that a lot of viewers of the series love the Priest and what he brought to the series. I can see how people enjoyed the romantic dynamic between him and Fleabag and what felt like provided a silver lining in Fleabag's depressing and tense life. Also a lot of y'all have the hots for him which is fair lol. So for any Priest devotees, you may be better off not interacting with this post if you're not open to having me pick him apart. That being said, I'm doing this in a listicle format so prepare yourself lol.

1. He's a priest

The series seems to take a neutral stance on organized Christianity and although I accept all forms of spirituality, the Church itself is a different story. The Church isn't a religion but an industry that is systemically imbedded into European politics that have been used to commit heinous deeds such as colonization, racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, exploitation, and sexual misconduct since its existence. This isn't merely happenstance and there isn't such a thing as a "good Church". The whole system is rooted in hierarchal control that still seeks to disenfranchise marginalized people and extort Christians which has literally taken lives.

Even though every character in Fleabag is meant to be morally grey, the Priest's occupation isn't actually depicted as problematic and his introduction goes out of its way to say "he's not like other priests" (spoiler alert: he is). The only conflict around his lifestyle is that it's a cockblock rather than the fact it's unethical and his "priestliness" is actually used to romanticize him.

2. He's "perfect"

He's not actually perfect but he's written to be. He's "hot, charming, caring but just quirky and snarky enough to be cute and interesting". He's not visibly contentious like the rest of Fleabag's characters which to me, contradicts the whole message of the series. People are messy and make mistakes but the Priest exists as Fleabag's pillar of goodness for our protagonist to seek love and help from. He's "too perfect" that he doesn't even feel real when everyone else in the show does.

When it came to Boo, we got to see what Fleabag loved about her but that she was also deeply flawed. The easy route would be to depict her as a pure and selfless person so we can only think of her as someone "too good to go so soon" but the show went out of its way to portray a complex and authentic character. Something that couldn't be afforded to the Priest in order for him to function as the love interest and ultimate form of guidance.

3. He preyed on Fleabag

Hot take but the confessional scene was not romantic or sexy, it was just predatory. In that scene, Fleabag breaks down and tells the priest how lonely, lost, and sad she feels and that she "needs someone to tell her what to do". What was obviously a call for help from Fleabag had the Priest respond sexually and attempts to dominate her. He's only lucky that Fleabag is attracted to him but it also feels abundant to me that her attraction is guided by her desire for this apparently loving and morally righteous person to heal her. The Priest came onto someone who just revealed was deeply vulnerable and dependant, whether or not he already harboured attraction to them. It simply wasn't the time and it's creepy to me that that was the moment his sexual impulses kicked in... I understand if this tickles your fancy but divorcing this from being a romantic steamy fantasy, the action was deplorable.

4. Romance is overrated

I have a gripe with romance being the ultimatum to a story or character arc. It comes off as epitomizing typically romantic monogamous relationships which are already glamourized in our patriarchal society. It doesn't really make a difference that the two don't end up together in the very last scene, the entire second season has centralized their relationship and the over-importance of finding romantic love. The same was the case for Claire where her happiness was no longer about freeing herself from a toxic partner and matriarchal obligations, but "being with the man she loves". Both the Priest and Klare were non existent in the first season which has made space for the sisters to exist as independent characters with individual needs and struggles. To have both of their finales chalked up to pursuing the right man (again, even if it wasn't end-game) felt like an oversimplification of what these women strived for.

I also found Fleabag's strained but endearing relationship with her sister to be the heart of the series so it was tragic to see it sidelined in favour of the Priest. It was refreshing to see a female-lead show that depicted a woman outside her relationship to a man. We got to focus on Fleabag's platonic, familial, and sexual relationships along with her relationship with herself. Women aren't all just romance but other forms of love have always been undervalued, merely existing in the backdrop or as the lesser relationship. This felt apparent in the way the Priest could notice Fleabag interacting with us to show us he was "special". Viewers saw it as a sign that they were soulmates but I found it upsetting that only a romantic connection could transcend this barrier as if Claire or Boo weren't good enough to access it.

Fleabag felt like the show that brought all these non-romantic relationships to the forefront and avoided cliches of how female-oriented shows are expected to pan out. Yet in the end, it opted for the crowd-pleasing resolution which was introducing a dashing prince for the sad Cinderella. I still love Fleabag and I have great respect for Phoebe Waller-Bridge! Even if I have disdain for the Priest, it doesn't hold back the love many others have for him. But to me, he was the antithesis to what I loved about the first half of Fleabag though that I felt deserved to be critiqued.

[thewollfgang]

hi wolf! how are you? i was reading too well tangled for the hundredth time (you're gonna think i’m exaggerating but i’d say it’s pretty accurate — obsessed doesn’t even begin to cover it!) and i’ve just realized i have never commented on chapter 5. so let me fix that.

it was everything i was expecting and more! you absolutely knocked it out of the part. ugh, the angst. so delightfully painful to read.

i love the dynamic between the two chloe’s and lucifer. i love how you write them, all with their arguments, fears, weaknesses and strengths, and all not knowing how to approach the other or what to do with everything they’re feeling. so many perspectives, so much hurt, and man, i just feel so bad for all of them. lucifer — to be presented with the complete acceptance and love he’s always dreamed of but never got, and how it blows up in his face the moment he dares to enjoy it. future!chloe and being ripped away from her family and thrown in the past where she has to witness an emotionally difficult period for both herself and lucifer. and sure she’s forearmed with knowledge that no one else has and obviously she has faith in herself and lucifer and that they’ll find a way to each other in every timeline, but it must be incredibly hard to watch as your presence alters your past and causes a rift between you and the love of your life (even if it’s technically not your life but another you’s life). i wonder if she grieves over the idea that this past!deckerstar won’t be able to experience what she and her lucifer did, or if she rejoices at what they’ll get instead, at the idea that maybe this past version of herself won’t end up in rome and conspire with an evil priest and how that’ll avoid them so many problems, like for example lucifer going back to hell (sigh). and finally past!chloe, who definitely got the worst end of the deal. all the hurt and confusion and betrayal, being in an unwanted relationship, lucifer still holding the “chloe” and “detective” distinction and carelessly using it as a weapon against her to imply that he’s much happier with chloe, not to mention the fucking earth shattering factor of time travel and divinity reveal — i just want to give her a hug. sigh. Lucifer would appear out of nowhere, but he couldn’t seem to hear her no matter how loudly Chloe called him. Lucifer would pass her by for her reflection without a glance. this was heart-wrenching! you managed to perfectly encompass chloe's fears always but especially now looking at a seemingly perfect other chloe who connects with lucifer in ways she has never been able to. again, i want to give her a hug!

you gotta love future!chloe’s cheekiness though. You could have that, you know. Have him, if you wanted. [wink wink] we didn’t get her perspective in this chapter, but something i always wonder about is whether her casual “love you” to lucifer in front of herself was just a slip of the tongue and out of habit, or if she was trying to get a rise out of past!chloe/nudge her in the right direction. and that picture of them being domestic and flirty and in love on the beach? [groans]

and finally, that last scene — you blew my mind. god, i feel like there aren’t enough words to express how much i love it. it was utter perfection. you nailed their voices and headspaces once again: the hurt they both harbour, their understandable jealousy and yet the hypocrisy of it, the anguish at having everything they’ve ever wanted right in front of them but their inability to take the last step. i love arguments where both characters have valid points and yet they’re both wrong, and that’s the case in this scene. i love how you wrote the complexities in both characters and how negatively their personalities reflected each other.

Did you kiss her? […] Yes. […] Did you have sex with her? [screams] i have to SCREAM!!!! these lines just do something to me. i love how she’s hampered by jealousy that she knows is misplaced and ridiculous because she’s with pierce and lucifer has made no promises to her and it’s literally her, and yet she can't help it. because on some level she knows he's in love with her and she knows she's in love with him and she knows they should be each other's and that he should "technically" (lmao) have sex with her but at the same time they're just so!!! it’s a fucking mess, but it’s so, SO great to read!

How could you — how could you do this to me, Lucifer? this line. THIS LINE! past!lucifer and future!chloe talked about how future!lucifer would react to them hooking up but i wonder if future!chloe ever really thought about how past!chloe would feel about it. if future!chloe would understand why past!chloe would be upset about it, or if she’d be too secure in her relationship and feelings to. it’s also amazing how this line feels like season 4 but twisted up. bring on that delicious angst! and speaking of season 4 angst, i suspect lucifer’s self-hatred might manifest a season early? “Don’t touch me.” He looks down at his hand, fear on his face. “No,” he whispers softly to himself, “No, not like this.” […] He shoves his hand deep in his pocket and looks up. Something like fear flickers in his eyes. he's made so many mistakes in his impossibly long life and loathes himself for many things, but i love how it's feeling like he betrayed/disappointed her and her pain that bring out the red this time. my mouth is watering just thinking about the potential that him turning at this point in the story would have! i wonder if future!chloe would be able to help him transform back because she has the experience and knows exactly what to do, or if he’d actually need his chloe.

She loves me. She knows exactly who and what I am, and she chose me! Me! 😭😭😭😭😭

I wanted to be with you! Crazy Devil stuff and all! I kissed you, thought we had something, and a week later you say we’re just friends. […] You ran away and got married to someone else. Remember that? So now because you've changed your mind, but I'm in a relationship with someone else and you're jealous, it's my fault? when i flip a table, THEN WHAT. thank you for bringing up the fact the lucifer would always run hot and cold with chloe in the first few seasons. he would get close to her and make her feel like they were going somewhere then just run away with very little consideration to her feelings. i mean, we know why he did that, and sure, it was even honourable at times, but she didn't (she still doesn't, really) and that’s obviously incredibly confusing and hurtful. it’s one of the things i hope they address in season 6. so yeah, i love that you wrote her as slightly unreachable, and that she's standing her ground and asking for more time. and don’t get me wrong, i love how lucifer is champing at the bit now that he knows he can actually have a future with chloe but he can’t possibly be serious when he tells her she can’t keep running away when he’s run away from it just as much, if not more! even though it is in character.

His anger crumbles. “I’m sorry. Have mercy, please. Everything I ever wanted was right in front of me. I-” His words stop. “What did you expect me to do?” he asks again, and he looks completely and abjectly miserable. i just!!! [clenches fists]

And again, she’s left wondering what’s so fundamentally wrong with her. 😭😭😭😭😭

“Chloe,” he says and she recoils. What was once cherished syllables now only reminds her he says them freely to another woman. oh my god. oh my GOD

If you want to be with me, then why aren’t you with me! makes me go absolutely feral every time i read this chapter.

i believe i’ve said this before but i think qutab’s amulet brought chloe back to her weakest point, instead of lucifer’s. because sure, lucifer was going through it in season 3, but chloe struggled just as much (if not more). what, with lucifer’s mercurial moods and pierce and being pulled in every direction and making hard and bad choices and constantly feeling like she was on shaky grounds and then finally finding out the truth. it was a lot. and now with future!chloe being there — it’s definitely going to expedite things, right? it already has in a way. i mean, if chloe is starting to accept that lucifer is the devil, what he said about pierce lying to her might finally resonate with her. i can’t wait to see if she’ll break up with him and what that will cause, especially because pierce’s curse hasn’t be lifted yet in your story and that’s the only thing he’s ever been interested in. i’ve scrolled through some of the snippets you’ve posted and it looks like chloe will get kidnapped? my theory is that pierce will hold her hostage to convince lucifer to find a way to get him what he wants (because like, he knows there’s no length lucifer wouldn’t go for chloe). it’d be fun if he didn’t recognize the small changes between past!chloe and future!chloe and took future!chloe instead. i think it’d be interesting to see how he’d react to a more confident chloe that he can't manipulate. god, she’d kick his ass all the way to hell, that’d be so hot! it’d also be cool if future!lucifer got there just to find out that that ham faced dullard has his wife and the two lucifer’s went fully berserk mode on him together (with past!chloe’s help and support of course). but the idea of future!chloe and past!lucifer rescuing past!chloe is equally appealing and — okay, now i’m just rambling!

one last thing before i wrap this up — any chance i can persuade you to write a missing moment/short one shot of the morning after scene between future!chloe and past!lucifer once you’re done with the story? please. i have chocolate, or you know, anything you might like and desire if you’re not a fan of chocolate? 🥺

okay. anyways. this is so long and i’m so terribly sorry that i’m once again ranting in your asks, but this fic makes me feel so many things (so many of them!) and i hope you know how appreciate you are and what a gift you are to this fandom! i hope summer is treating you well. x

oh my gosh, the thrill i got when I saw your message. I didn't answer it right away because I wanted to savor it and re-read it a few times :D but now it is the time! So, here we go:

Hello! I am doing well! I'm so glad you enjoy too well tangled enough to re-read it! that makes me really happy. Chapter 5 was rough with the angst, but sometimes things have to get worse before they get better.

Even with Future!Chloe circumventing Lucifer's sleep deprivation, S3!Chloe and Lucifer were do for an argument, it was going to happen one way or another with him continuously playing hot and cold and the jealousy and hurt that was already there, even before Future!Chloe accidentally added fuel to that fire. She's not yet aware of the effect she's had on her past self, but she's going to feel very badly about it. (especially with the events that are about to happen in ch6&7) she definitely wants things to be easier for her past self and Lucifer.

The argument was definitely supposed to be a "neither one is right, neither one is wrong and they're both being hurtful". You've absolutely got it. It always surprises me when readers will pick a side lol theyre BOTH idiots.

Did you kiss her? […] Yes. […] Did you have sex with her? [screams] i have to SCREAM!!!!

This was one of my favorite parts, too! and one of the first written three years ago when i started working on this idea.

it’s also amazing how this line feels like season 4 but twisted up. bring on that delicious angst! and speaking of season 4 angst, i suspect lucifer’s self-hatred might manifest a season early?

>;) maybe. With some of season 3 circumvented and the beginning of s4 altered, I'm definitely pulling threads from s4 along with the s3 finale.

s3!Chloe has been so in the dark with Lucifer and the other forces at work, it's no wonder she's so confused. No wonder in 5x21 she breaks down crying over Lucifer trying to win her from Pierce. She must feel like it''s some sort of cruel game since she's been totally ignorant of what he's done for her and how he feels. (I also hope we see some of this addressed in s6!)

i believe i’ve said this before but i think qutab’s amulet brought chloe back to her weakest point, instead of lucifer’s. because sure, lucifer was going through it in season 3, but chloe struggled just as much (if not more).

This is one of those happy accidents that I WILL pretend I intended the whole time. Originally, it was only supposed to be Lucifer's worst moment, or, at least, the worst moment in which he was weakest-still vulnerable, facing an immortal enemy, losing the love of his life etc etc, but the more folks commented on it, the more it made sense that it was also (or MORE so) Chloe's weakest point, or leading up to it. So I will say it's both!

I'm LOVING your theories. I won't say what parts you've guessed right, but I hope you'll also enjoy the parts I hope will be surprising.

any chance i can persuade you to write a missing moment/short one shot of the morning after scene between future!chloe and past!lucifer once you’re done with the story? please. i have chocolate, or you know, anything you might like and desire if you’re not a fan of chocolate? 🥺

You know, I don't see why not! I hadn't really envisioned too much about their morning. It was mostly cuddles and breakfast, but if the inspiration strikes I'll see what happens. (also, I love chocolate :D)

also PLEASE always feel free to rant in my inbox i fucking LOVE it, it literally MADE MY WHOLE DAY. I'd open tumblr up and tab over to my inbox just to read it again. I'd been a bit down over this fic and the words of encouragement and this ask made me feel so much better. thank you :') sending All The Love right back at ya. <3

[brideofcthulhu10]

Behold another Lost Boys holiday special! It was between this and Valentine’s day, but honestly I love writing Christmas specials, its such a cozy time despite the high suicide rates, but lets not get into that. A BIG SHOUT OUT TO @imlostinsantacarla FOR HELPING ME EDIT MY FINAL DRAFT!

Fun Fact! My husband, David (yes, that is actually his name) actually does have the bah humbug hat I mention in the head canons. He’s a heavy metal goth so when I found it at the store I had to get it for him. And you just know if our David found that, he wouldn’t be able to resist it!

Christmas with the Boys

Alright, so the whole touchy, feely and mushy feelings that surround even the topic of Christmas time is not something any of the boys will ever openly admit to enjoying. After all, they see themselves as these bad ass brutal killers who thrive off of death instead of holding hands and caroling with the goodie goodies of this coastal town. 

Yet, it's challenging for them not to get sucked into the glitz and glam of the holiday season. Everything is a big deal in Santa Carla. Dia De Los Muertos, Halloween, Thanksgiving- everything! But especially Christmas.

Christmas in Santa Carla dwarfs the frenzy craze of Halloween. The entirety of the boardwalk is decked out with red and green lights that are tightly wound around palm trees, red bulbous bows are wrapped tightly around street lamps, the reds and whites of velvety fabric swirl down the posts, creating the effect of candy canes. All the store windows are painted to appear frosted, or covered with painted snowmen whilst several rooftops are covered with white felt in which mimics the texture and sight of snow. Even the boats in the harbour are all extravagantly decorated in a sea of lights that parade around brightly at night in every color imaginable.

Between the dates of the 30th of November all the way to the 24th of December the city of Santa Carla hosts a plethora of wondrous events in it's annual Holiday Festival. Large green, white and red kiosks are erected, selling a wide range of baubles and treats, from delectable chocolate coated rice krispy Santa Clauses, elf candy apples caked in a plethora of dark chocolate and peppermint, to a variety of Holiday hats, masks and even hand made costumes by the many local artists. Even hand carved candles in wondrous scents of pine, mint, or spice.

Currently, David possesses a black fur Santa hat which he acquired on a night out that boasts the words "Bah Humbug" proudly sewn over the front. It's the only holiday attire he'll even humor. Last time Marko attempted to place reindeer antlers on his head, David had set them on fire roasting atop a pan of chestnuts. Now it's not to say that he's a grinch persay. Rather, the complex and intense emotions that come hand in hand with Christmas can leave him perpetually indifferent at best, disdainful at worst. The whole occasion leaves him displeased. After all, he was an orphan who had been almost eagerly abandoned by his hooker mother left to fend for himself from the beginning, and  of course never met his father. Even she could not identify which of her many clients may have been responsible. Most of his mortal life he had lived as a street rat, barely making ends meet by picking the pockets of tourists and Santa Carla citizens oblivious to the true dangers of the lower side of town. The rich and uppity classes who often snubbed their entitled noses his way would never suspect as he lurks between alleyways, leaving them cornered at knife point. It was scarce that he ever did see a kind face in the sea of those who had little interest for anyone that was not themselves. Back then it was rather uncommon for anyone to step outside their own little lives, which led to most interactions, outside of the other boys, having been met with great hostility, thus he had learned to be just as equally hostile in turn. Even the mere thought of anyone suddenly dawning a false kindness due to a certain time of year simply agitated David. It rattled him to the very core in a way very few other things did. Why bother with the lies? Couldn't people just face the very basic fact that they weren't nearly as charitable as they often deemed themselves to be? I mean, the young man had seen firsthand a family having previously snubbed a dirty homeless man with appalled disdain at the sight of his muddied clothes and dirt stained skin, only to then begin volunteering at a soup kitchen to purge whatever guilt they carried on their conscience once the holiday season began. The whole ordeal was pitiful! Nevertheless, - more so for Paul and Marko's sakes than his own -, he did humor these traditions amongst the holiday's festivities. Ruining a good time just wasn't his style. Unless they started fucking singing.

Most traditions David could tolerate, some he even enjoyed slightly; although he would never be caught dead admitting something as embarrassing as that! However, he just couldn't stand Christmas carols! They were the bain to his immortal existence. The repetitive nature of these overly cheery jingles left him covering his ears lest they nest in his brain leaving him humming the same damn melody for weeks. This was the case because the dynamic duo of dumbasses were well aware of his hatred for Rudolph the Red Nosed fuckin' roadkill! Stupid red nosed abomination. 

“OOOOOOH-,” Paul begins with cheerful mischief.

“Don’t. You. Fucking. Dare.” David seethes through tightly clenched teeth, eyes screwed shut in indignance. 

Paul hesitates. He looks at Marko. Marko looks at Paul. Wicked grins of agreement spread wide like wildfire across their faces as their master plan comes into play. Full throttle. What’s more fun than annoying the shit out of David? One on the left, the other on the opposite side of the cave on the right. This was nothing but Divine perfection if you asked the two troublesome vampires.

“OOOOOH DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW!” Paul belted out at full volume.

“IN A ONE HORSE OPEN SLEIGH!” Marko followed in suit, the widest eerie grin plastered on his face.

“OVER THE HILLS WE GOOOO” Paul howled enthusiastically. 

“I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU BOTH!” David's voice hit a whole new octave it had never in all his life so far. All the while Dwayne had opted to vacate the room lest he be caught in the middle of the escalating madness with Laddie in tow. He loved these guys, but not enough to dive head first into their fuckery.

Paul thrives during the Christmas holidays! How could he not? The food, the punk rock covers of Christmas songs, the absolute babes prancing around the town in Santa hats under mistletoe?! He loved it all! You can find him sneaking under mistletoe with many sweet honeys on a constant basis, regardless of whether or not he's acquainted with them. Most do roll their eyes or laugh it off, but every once in a blue moon the guy will get a little lovin' from a beach babe in the Yuletide mood. What else could he ask for? You can bet he’ll run into the woods December first, and quite literally RIP a pine tree out of the ground to bring home like a wee carrot being plucked from the ground. The bigger the better! He may even drag Dwayne or Marko along with him if it's too big for him to carry himself. And all the boozy drinks he can concoct up? This boy is in his element! Mulled wine, spiked eggnog, candy cane vodka, butterscotch bourbon hot chocolate?! Yes! David straight up refuses to try anything that Paul creates himself (remember the concoction he made in Max's kitchen? Those poor goldfish....) which is also another reason why he has Dwayne help him. Or rather, the other boys insist the most responsible of them monitors the blonde lest he poison them with some sickly brew. That, and the fact that Dwayne's the least likely out of all of them to blow up the damn kitchen!

Dwayne is indeed the designated cook during the holiday rush, albeit a field even he tends to struggle. Avoiding the kitchen catching aflame, perfecting his craft lest he blow up the stove, leaving only a pile of ash in its wake. As previously mentioned, ever since the dreadful chain of events that lead to the unfortunate destruction of Max's kitchen, this raven haired vampire has attempted his hand at learning to use a stove properly: Although he often finds himself forgetting ingredients either in the midst of cooking or after the final product is done and he's taken a big bite. 

“Shit! I forgot the milk and eggs!” Dwayne grumbled with a mouthful of dry crumbs, a true disgrace of a cookie.

Paul always gives him crap for it of course.

“Oooh I just thought you were going for a sandy, dusty dry cookie kinda thing.”

"Yeah man, these taste like ass!" Marko would cough out in midst of choking. 

"And what, like you dumbasses could do any better," Dwayne retorts with a huff. Only Star manages to have any manners when testing his failed baking endeavors.

"Well I mean, the taste isn't that bad. Just a little dry is all."

"At least Marko wouldn't be choking to death." David would mutter from the darkest corner of the room, a little late in the conversation.

In all honesty, Dwayne's biggest motivation when it came to improving his skills was obviously Laddie. The kid never got much of a Christmas whilst living with his mom, so now that he was with the boys, he wanted to ensure that Christmas's were something that Laddie would remember for all eternity. Though granted, it is quite the mess when he was helping in the kitchen. But when the mini vamp grins from ear to ear whilst coated in flour and rapidly stirring an overflowing bowl of chunky cookie dough--the sight is too freaking cute!

Since Laddie joined the boys, they participate in Secret Santa every single year, which definitely includes Paul bursting through the entrance of the hotel as Santa on Christmas day. We won't talk about the fact that each year he almost falls flat on his face and swears, ruining the surprise for the kid. 

"Santa where are your reindeer," he'd question, to which Santa Paul scoffs

"Pff, reindeer, I don't need any fucki- Ow," cut off by a firm and covert kick to the shin from Star, Paul quickly changes his response. "Oh! Ho ho, well, you see little boy, Santa can fly too! On his, uh, uhm… magic motorcycle! Yeah, that!"

But it's okay because Laddie already KNEW (he figured it out a year or two ago after Paul's beard fell off not once, but three times), he just doesn't have the heart to tell any of them because, well Paul really gets into it. And he knows the others are playing along for his sake. But to be fair, Laddie would have to be pretty dumb to believe it was Santa. I mean, the beard Paul's wearing is hanging half off his face by this point! But anyway, just like Paul's style, the entirety of the goody two shoes schpiel is thrown out the window, replaced with sleeves that have been ripped off, muddy boots, spiked bracelets and his Metallica shirt in full view beneath his flared red coat. He calls this BIKER CLAUS!

Laddie is not a squasher of traditions! But there was the one time that David had to intervene when Paul and Dwayne thought it would be great to use Laddie as the star at the top of the tree. David practically had a heart attack. Well, that's impossible but it still felt like he was having one!  

“Ho ho ho! Now, don’t be a bitch, little David or Santa will have to give you coal.” Paul stated mockingly to David, brows furrowed. 

“Well, Santa,” David scolds, a wry smile developing on his face when setting down the eight year old now off to shake his presents beneath their behemoth of a tree. “You best be careful. You never know what's in those milk and cookies, hm?”

Each year Marko buys bird toys for the pigeons in the hotel. Well, buy is probably the wrong word. More like he liberates the stores of their stock. And then for the next six months, David has to hear the agonizing jingle of bells. David almost roasted one pigeon in particular that kept flying over him to drop the ball with a bell in it on his head. That was Paul's entertainment for the next five hours, hell, he'd try to find it if the bird lost it and give it back. Marko defends the pigeon. Between running through stores buying up surprises for his friends, he's helping Paul throw out decorations for the cave. The dollar store has some surprisingly unexpected treasures, allowing him to deck the fucking halls to the max. Tinsel here, ornaments there,  tiny light up trees to hide around the caves, a butt ton of cinnamon pine cones which he ends up throwing back and forth with Paul.

And Paul often steals his gifts or goes dumpster diving for any hidden gems. He forgets to take the tags off of them the majority of the time, which is always an indicator whether or not its new. Any time Star asks where he got them from he refuses to answer. Just gets up and walks away. But for David's gift? Well this lucky bastard has found coal in the dumpster and chucks it to David when he's not looking and he sighs deeply in disappointment because this is the third year Paul has done this. 

 "Huh? What? Who did that? Wasn't me. Somebody's throwing stuff."

Other than that he'll find a fat bag of charcoal and just tape the name David on it. David is certainly not amused. Dwayne will actually try to figure out what the others want, and has the sense to save the money taken from their previous meals. After all, they're dead, they wouldn't have much use for it anyway. He's not about to waste his hypnosis on some poor cashier. That would be a waste of time in his eyes. 

When Christmas did arrive the tree was piled with mysterious boxes crudely mashed and taped together with bows and ribbons underneath it. It's obvious which ones are from Star since those gifts are wrapped in neatly pressed paper, wound tight beneath curled ribbons that remind the boys of her hair. Marko often goes on a food run rather than allow them all to be subjected to a potentially charred turkey, no offense to Dwayne of course. So, with a table covered from end to end with copious bowls of gravy, potatoes, candied sweet potatoes, a beast of a turkey in the center packed to the brim with cornbread stuffing, the boys cram into their chairs knocking back beers and spiked cider. Keeping to their own traditions, after fattening up, they gather around the tree and play card games, just as they had over eighty years ago on that frigid night. David still slays them in poker, and Marko is an utter dark horse when it comes to blackjack. Paul insists they try Go Fish. No one ever wants to play Go Fish. Closer towards the end of the night Dwayne will slip away to Jasper's shrine and bring him a fresh glass of rum as well as unwrapping what he got him that year. While Dwayne is there, the other boys will join him - omitting Star and Laddie left unaware of the Lost Boy they'd never met - in celebrating the last hour or so of the Holiday season with their fallen comrade.

Although Christmas time is often about uncomfortable mushy moments and emotions that create deep, unfamiliar times for David. The entire ordeal becomes that for everyone of the boys and Star. But God forbid anyone who even mentions it! I mean, it's kinda obvious though considering he's spending it with the people he always called family, knee deep in traditions that are sentimental to himself and the boys. There's a fluster of emotions running rampant during this particular Holiday Season, and although the blonde brooding vampire decides to squint at it with skepticism he savors these moments, knowing like Jasper, it could all be swept away with a single ray of light or the foolish hand of a hunter. So as they sit, drunk, full, and laughing beside Jasper's grave he can't help but smile at the sentimentality of it all. Christmas is a pain in the ass, but… it's a pain he'll gladly sit through for his brothers.

[izumisays]

dear yuletide author

Thank you so much for reading this and taking part in this wonderful annual conspiracy!


First of all, I hope you have a lovely time! If any of the fandoms below pique your interest, I’m delighted already, and ready to hear all the stories you want to tell.

Fandoms:  Chihayafuru, Nirvana in Fire, Thunderbolt Fantasy

As for reading preferences, I’m happy with a wide variety of tones and genres, of any rating, ranging anywhere from lighthearted antics to dramatic casefics. But the core of all the stories I love has always been character interaction and interplay of their competences.

How the characters play off each other and bring out their best/worst, how they’d react to a divergence of events, how true they’d stay to themselves in a different setting – I love fanfiction for allowing us to reconnect with our favourite stories time and again by asking these questions. And there are so many ways to do it! To name a few favourites, I’m always game for POV hijinks, a missing scene, a casefic, canon expansion, backstories and what-ifs.

You may notice that quite a few of my requests lean towards shipfic – those, too, are welcome in a variety of tones – but I also tried to include openings for gen ideas if that’s your jam. Additionally, while it is not usually my top interest, I don’t have anything against AUs if there is something that you are itching to explore: I tend to enjoy them for a new aesthetic that fleshes out the favoured character dynamics in a new light, or a fusion that redefines the playing ground to allow the characters to exhibit their core competences in new and exciting ways.

I would be very grateful if you could avoid a/b/o and similar kinktropes, played-straight soulmate fic, and character interpretation that runs contrary to their core values. If in doubt, please reach out to me on anon - the askbox is open!

CHIHAYAFURU: Mashima Taichi, Wataya Arata, Suou Hisashi

You don’t have to include all three characters, but I’d love to see a fic that explores the connections between them better. I’m up to date with all manga scanlations.

Wataya Arata/ Mashima Taichi

In the immortal words of Henjin Meijin, Arata is that person for Taichi whose opinion makes or breaks him. (His wording may have been different, but if I go rummaging into the chapter archive to find the exact quote, I’ll end up binge-rereading year three into the night again, and then where would my Yule sign-up be?) (On that note, what kind of a MASSIVE LOSER waxes poetics about Taichi’s boyfriend problems to Taichi’s MOTHER, whom he JUST met? Suou Hisashi, that’s who.) Needless to say, that paramount opinion was not always great, and neither was Taichi’s general wellbeing.

Good news is, Arata is confident in his manliness, and he has no problem acknowledging Taichi’s ridiculously pretty and not too bad at karuta these days, and he’s also moving to Tokyo. Taichi’s definitely pretty and has an apartment in Tokyo, where a country bumpkin of paramount importance may possibly stay over until things are sorted out… eventually. Hint hint.

Jokes aside, I pine for the dynamics between the two of them. I nearly lost it, reading the Meijin semifinals — and if you can show me a person who saw them bawl as they crawled into each other’s laps on Japanese national television and didn’t bawl in response, well, that person is sure not me.

I’d like to see a story that lets them build and explore that connect. I do not object to eventual OT3, but I think Chihaya is on a quest to find her own footing and pursue other goals at the moment, and I’d really like it if she was allowed to do this (join forces with Shinobu to drag karuta into a professional league, girl!). I’d like to think that in that space, different bonds and relationships can develop and strengthen, starting with Arata and Taichi.

Taichi the overanalyzer, the hardworker and the looker, the golden boy who at some point surely hit that red button, meme-style: you will be perfect at everything, you will have everything, except the one thing that you want above all. Arata appears to be his perfect foil: steady and serene where Taichi’s scrambling and flawed, adorably awkward and disarmingly sincere where Taichi’s groomed, smooth and miserable about his own deceptions. But they don’t see it like that! And they keep tripping each other up so beautifully!

I’d love to read your take on them growing closer and hopefully smooshing their faces together. Roommates in Tokyo? Long-distance friends? Figuring out how to tell your flatmate you’ve been in love with him since you were 12? Established relationship while hijinks happen? AWKWARD THIRDWHEELING WITH SUOU?!

On that note:

Suou Hisashi & (or / - wejustdon’tknow.gif) Mashima Taichi

I cannot believe that ridiculous man. Did you see a grown ass adult swoon because his unrequited disciple I mean not-friend I mean Taichi just up and went to meet his relatives??? To  help reconnect them?? One can do things like this?? What next, being able to make phonecalls like an adult??

Does not compute.

I was there, Gandalf. I was there when the story first indicated that we might be getting an unlikely team-up of the world’s weirdest Meijin and Tokyo’s most miserable overachiever. But even in my wildest dreams I did not dare hope to see them sprawled on the carpet on a humid summer afternoon, Taichi comfortable in his own skin and Suou, erm, probably not very comfortable with his fascination :D He did not sign up for this. He, a grown ass man in what must be his early twenties, is too old for this youthful seishun sakura bullshit. And yet it is he who mournfully accosts Taichi’s mom to talk about how this other boy is paramount in Taichi’s universe. He who gets offended because Taichi knowing how to adult and work the social ropes is too sexy and competent. He who finds something compelling in the painful struggle of genius and skill.

Arata - Taichi - Suou

For maximum indulgence of yours truly, bring those into one place. Arata coming to Tokyo and finding Suou a fixture in Taichi’s life how?! Suou being infinitely pissy at the Fukuyi upstart and yet dragging himself to socialize with the boys regardless like a totally-not-pathetic adult with a social life of his own? Arata being mildly puzzled about the antagonism, but in there for the sweet snacks?

You tell me! I delight in my anticipation.

NIRVANA IN FIRE: Mei Changsu, Xiao Jingyan

Is this a complex, narratively inevitable historic tapestry strangling people with its treads, full of delicious politicking and identity porn? Yes, it is.

Is my burning – nay, primal – desire so simple as to smoosh two faces together and watch them kiss? Yes, it is :’)

I mean, I will obviously not say no if the kissing is giftwrapped in the said tapestry of beautiful, politicky plot, but the fever I can’t get out of my system is this: LET THEM KISS, GODDAMMIT. LET THEM BE HAPPY. I welcome canon divergences, alternative endings, fix-its, insert eps and codas where it looks like they would have kissed (erm, or at least confronted each other in a way that would inevitably end with them making out) if only Mei Changsu wasn’t so caught up in self-loathing and fluffy foxfur coats, and Jingyan didn’t talk too loudly about his so dead, so very dead beautiful ex to hear Mei Changsu weep stoically into his beautiful white furs.

I adore Prince Jing. He is 90% cheekbones and 20% heartbroken pouting over his so very dead friends, and all of it noble and awkward and stubborn and deserving of happiness. Mei Changsu is ridiculous, and capable, and twisted into pretzels of his own creation: not above gloating over his enemies while daintily dipping cookies into his tea, he gets too caught up in weaving the tapestry to notice he is a part of it.  Pull him off his high horse, Jing! Render him helpless by being yourself! Do something about being hopelessly charmed with each other, through resentment, loss, bitter pining, and narrative inevitability! JUSTKISSALREADY.gif!!

THUNDERBOLT FANTASY: Rin Setsua; Sho Fukan

I LOVE THIS SELF INDULGENT WUXIA NONSENSE AND I CANNOT LIE!

Sanfan is a mixture UTTER GLEE and deep fondness for the genre staples, self-aware and masterful playthrough of all the wuxia tropes in the book, and one goddamn well-constructed story. It plays the tropes straight, calls them out with a knowing wink, walks the tightrope between the two with panache, and just as you are relaxed and enjoying this trapeze show, it grins cheekily at you, sets the discoball on fire and pulls a bunny out of a hat.  It’s DELIGHTFUL and fun and lovingly crafted, just like a good passion project should be.

I want anything that capitalizes on the absolutely hilarious dynamics between Rin Setsua and Sho Fukan (and while personally I end up using the Japanese versions of their names more often, please feel free to go with the Chinese names if you prefer). Sho Fukan does not want any of those heroic quests, he’s the human equivalent of been there, done that mood, and he just wants to REST and hopefully dump a bunch of magical murderswords someplace safe. Rin Setsua is a Totally Respectable and Non-Villainous Member of Society, of which he will inform you firsthand in the most high spoken and verbose way possible, and maybe even produce paperwork that has definitely not been tampered with. He harbours no ulterior motives, ever, and does not trail behind Sho Fukan for any reason beyond the pleasure of his company, and his mission to personally victimize and cockblock every morally derelict villain in two countries, by no-one’s request.

Whether you go shipfic (yiss!) or canon levels teamup circus (also yiss!), don’t hold back your horses. Everything about this is Extra, and should continue to be so <3

I am okay with both expanding the canon and playing with AUs/crossovers/fusions for this one, provided they retain the character dynamics. I love the extended cast as well: any characters including the Seiyou gang (and on that note, if you want to write the Seiyou backstory for Shou’s gang that has no Rin in it, you’re welcome as well), reappearance of the familiar faces from Touri (read: Rin’s victim list, past, future and present), original characters lined up and waiting to be screwed over (guaranteed) and rescued (the administration does not bear any responsibility etc etc).

Thank you for taking the time to read the letter, and I’m greatly looking forward to reading your story — and hopefully, getting to chat about these ridiculous and wonderful characters post-reveals :)

[marawrder]

          in this post i will be laying out all information regarding sirius’ romantic orientation, experience with and general stance towards romance. i will also take position in regards to popular ship dynamics and general pointers on shipping with this muse.

          too long; don’t wanna read: sirius is aromantic, wolfstar ehhh perhaps BUT!, and i don’t really plan on romantically shipping him with anyone. sorry!

          romantic orientation           sirius is grey aromantic, but on the furthest side of the spectrum. in his canon time-line, he wouldn’t and doesn’t fall in love. for him to do so, it’d require an incredibly close bond, and if there’s ever a person who reaches that the level of closeness and trust it needs to be up there with the bond he has with james. it doesn’t have to be as soulmate-y, james and sirius really are on the exact same wavelength, but just as open and codependent, sort of. the problem is: in his main verse, sirius would never ever have let anyone as close to him as james, because of the circumstances and because he doesn’t want to. that’s why james would be the only person he could theoretically develop feelings for. which he doesn’t because that is his brother.           experience           the only experience sirius has with romance is therefore from seeing it between others. he didn’t exactly grow up in a loving household, but that is not to claim that orion and walburga didn’t love each other. sirius just didn’t see it, and especially when he got to an age where falling in love is something more people think about, he was already getting estranged from his parents and, partially out of spite, thought of them to be unable to feel love in the first place. but sirius doesn’t get it, at least not in the way his friends talk about it. this is not just because of his orientation, but sirius, in general, is oftentimes very oblivious to other people’s feelings. he’s not very empathic, and if he cannot relate other people’s feelings to his own… well… then he just doesn’t understand at all. and sometimes that also means that he doesn’t accept them.           what really makes him understand is seeing james and lily fall in love, and even that, for him, is a process. of course there probably instances around him of people feeling romantic, but it either — given the age — wasn’t too serious or fully-fledged, or it wasn’t too close to him for him to actually witness it. because sirius didn’t really care for it, at all, and he made sure to proclaim so several times, even when he didn’t know what he was talking about.

          watching the person he was closest to fall in love, though, changed that. at first, he was highly skeptical. well, at the very first, he thought it was a joke, that the way they acted was somehow planned because he didn’t get how that just happened to someone. but when it became clear that they weren’t just acting like that because, stereotypically, people “ in love ” acted a certain way, he realized, and he didn’t like it. when james and lily started a relationship, he wasn’t entirely on board, because while lily is cool in theory and he does wish his mate all the best, it feels like james is trying to replace him. for sirius, what he feels for james is really as far as it goes when it comes to caring for someone, and he thought that that’s mutual. he doesn’t get how there’s suddenly “ more ” for lily. it takes him a while to come to terms with the fact that this is something different entirely, that james is still his family and, by extension, so is lily. it also shows him what romantic love looks like, and that it’s nothing he’s felt before or can imagine himself feeling.           stance towards romance           depending on when you ask sirius, his answers will of course differ, but for the longest time, he thought it was a hoax. not as in — nobody ever felt romantic love, he certainly knew it existed and thought it would even befall him someday, but the way it was portrayed by books and songs and all that? it sounded like it was too exaggerated for actual, real-life people to behave like that. this certainly is not due to his own orientation, but because in his immediate environment, love between a husband and a wife was not put on display and certainly not treated as a prerequisite for marriage. the whole idea of romanticism was treated like a dime novel concept, nothing practical or applicable.

          sirius believes in love. he has seen and felt it, familial love, platonic love, close kinship with people he hasn’t even known for that long. but he has no reference, no connection to romantic love. he’s never experienced it, he’s never really wanted to experience it. but above all, he is not very empathetic at all. if he has no reference, he doesn’t understand it in others, and therefore he doesn’t take it seriously. this can and has lead to him offending and hurting his friends when he invalidates their feelings, especially in his phase of antagonizing lily when she and james clearly expressed romantic interest in each other. it’s something he has learned from and afterward isn‘t proud of, and thanks to them he learns to understand about true romantic love, but it’s something takes most of his normal life to process. later, he has more time to reflect, but it’s not a good time.

          on wolfstar           i want to note that i do not ship wolfstar, at least not off the bat. this has to do with the interpretation of fanon, in which sirius and remus fall in love at 15 and are inseparable ever since, they share chocolate and fight about who’s the bottom. as you may know, i hate fanon with a burning passion, and above all, i hate how one of the central points of sirius’ characterization has become his being in love with remus. secondly, my personal interpretation and prioritization of canon information is rather different from wolfstar interpretations, even the non-fanon ones i have seen. in his canon timeline, sirius and remus begin harbouring deep distrust towards each other, causing them to suspect each other to be the traitor. i also do not believe that the “ prank ” sirius played on snape, in which he purposefully led snape to find remus on a full moon, who might’ve killed him if it wasn’t for james’ intervention, is something they could just move past so easily. even if remus does forgive sirius, for sirius it’s still something that’ll stand between them. i do not believe that this is an atmosphere in which romantic feelings could arise for anyone, let alone someone like sirius.

          that being said, just because i don’t support widespread ideas regarding sirius x remus, or do not ship them in a canon timeline, this doesn’t mean that i am completely opposed to the idea! i just personally believe that the circumstances have to be very, very different for them to be able to trust each other, and deeply enough for it to end in something romantic. i do not have a specific idea of how that should go, but i am always willing to explore a plot!

          on other dynamics           there are a few other popular ship dynamics in fanon that i don’t quite understand, specifically when they involve characters such as marlene, dorcas, or mary, who have been mentioned within perhaps two lines. obviously, i do not believe in lumping together all these different interpretations of one character, and i will not assume chemistry off the bat. in fact, i usually actually assume the opposite, because most of these characters are self-respecting women and sirius behaves, most of the time, like a full-on asshole — but that’s besides the point. as stated before, i really do not see a way in his canon timeline for him to get close enough to someone other than the marauders. and sirius doesn’t do crushes. that is not just because it takes a lot for him to develop romantic attraction, he’s also just an all or nothing kinda guy. therefore, the only thing that really applies to this type of dynamics is chemistry and lots and lots of plotting and development.

          on james/sirius           in my previous analysis, i might’ve suggested that james would be the one person sirius would fall in love with, but that… really isn’t it, either. quite frankly, things would have to go horribly wrong for them to end up together, or it might even be impossible, because james' trust and friendship are what shape sirius as a person and them being family is essential to his development. and no, despite being purebloods, you just don’t date family.

[tightropeflea]

14, 19 and 20❤️

Favorite line?

If I had to pick a one liner, I’d probably go with, “Who you callin’? The police? :/” but I also like 90% of Dustin’s dialogue. It’s so good, and Gaten delivers all of his lines so great. He’s totally underrated as a character. Especially the scene in season 3 where he’s telling Erica that she’s a nerd, and he just goes off about the latest MLP adventure. I mean. Of course he would know all about that. Of course he would.

Favorite duo?

Obviously Jopper, obviously. I like how they have a weird power dynamic - in season 1, Hopper was the one in control of the situation. In season 2, Joyce was in control of the situation. In season 3, neither of them was in control and they were both pretty pissed off about it. I really also like Robin and Steve’s friendship, and Hopper and El in season 2!

Favorite behind the scenes moment/photo?

This is a toughie because I don’t  really follow any behind the scenes stuff. But I feel like every time David Harbour gets excited about Winona and goes off about how much he loved Winona as a kid and now gets to work with her... that makes me so happy. A lot of David stuff makes me happy. The shit that he went through in young adulthood breaks my heart and so every bit of joy that I get to see coming from him makes my whole day brighter. :)

[lightsandlostbells]

so, overall, what did you think of season 3 of stranger things?

It took me a while to answer this question because I had to sort out how I felt about this season! I guess if I had to narrow it down to an overall opinion: enjoyable, but very messy. Had some of the series’ best moments but also, while I was watching, I had far more grumbles and gripes than the previous two seasons.

I’ve never really been hung up on whether this show is derivative or plays too into nostalgia or w/e. Plenty of media does that. And despite all the time I’ve spent dissecting micro-expressions and weighty silences in European teen dramas that are filmed for the cost of a candy bar … I am way into genre films and TV shows. I love monsters and superheroes and spectacle! I watched Stranger Things the weekend it premiered because I love ‘80s movies about kids on bikes having adventures, I eat that shit up. So I don’t expect this show to be a hardcore deconstruction and re-imagining of those tropes (though that sounds like a pretty great show), I’m fine with it being what it is: a solid, spooky sci-fi/horror throwback series. What matters most is whether the story and characters work. Personally, I would say whatever criticisms you can make of S1 and S2, they had heart, and unfortunately I think some of that heart was missing from S3. Much of that, IMO, comes from sidelining some of the familial relationships that were at the center of the narrative in S1 and S2, like the Byers family and Hopper & Eleven, and to some degree the important friendships like the party, although there were other friendships introduced in this season so that wasn’t as glaring. It’s not a surprise that one of the best-received parts about this season, Steve and Robin’s friendship, is also responsible for one of the most heartfelt scenes Stranger Things has ever done. 

There was also a way larger emphasis on comedy in S3. Comedy is probably my favorite genre, and I did laugh at a lot of humorous moments in this season. But I also felt like there was more comedy for comedy’s sake, like long sequences created intentionally to make the audience laugh. Whereas in S1 and S2, I can’t remember any scenes like that? The comedy was more understated and came from character personalities and relationship moments rather than joke set pieces. That’s perhaps another reason why S3 felt like it had less heart.

My hope for season 4 - and I am assuming there is a season 4, because apparently this show did mega ratings for S3 - is that they don’t add more major new characters (except love interests for the gay characters, go ahead with those, lol) and instead focus on the existing cast,  which is already a very strong ensemble, yet many of the characters have gotten pushed to the sides. I would love if they added to the episode count: a lot of Netflix series drag out their seasons, like they have enough story for 10 episodes but have to stretch it out to 13, but Stranger Things has the opposite problem. I feel like if they had 10 (or 11, ha) episodes they could have more time for breather moments and more space for character arcs. This season was really fast-paced in my opinion, and although that’s a positive in many respects, I missed a lot of the down time.

Also, I think every season has taken place over like a week maximum, not including the epilogues, and like … you can make the story last longer than a week! Not everything has to go to hell in like a day or two.

Some more specific opinions underneath, obviously lots of spoilers.

First of all, I gotta say, I feel like a weirdo, because so many of the reviews for this season are like A RETURN TO FORM AFTER A DISAPPOINTING SECOND SEASON and UP THERE WITH SEASON 1 NOT THAT CRAPPY SEASON 2 THAT NO ONE LIKED and uhhhh … I liked season 2 just fine? It’s probably my favorite. There are things I don’t like about it, but the stuff I love is stuff I really, really love. Hopper and Eleven’s relationship, for instance. Steve and Dustin teaming up and Steve Harrington becoming a guardian to four children. Those are not just great elements to the series, but directions that I think only a second season could have taken - Hopper and Eleven’s bond wouldn’t have had half the weight if they weren’t established as traumatized, broken people in S1. Steve Harrington becoming a babysitter would not be nearly so delightful if we had not known him as the popular douchebag stereotype from S1 - if he were just a cool dude hanging out with kids from the get-go, the impact wouldn’t be as great. After S1 used Will Byers as a MacGuffin in S1, S2 gave Will a much larger role and that little actor acted his ass off. His performance generated a lot of genuine suspense and chills. There was Sean Astin being lovable! Paul Reiser’s character being a surprisingly good guy! Yeah, there are big flaws in the season, and you can argue it’s too much of a repeat of S1, but to me it was a version of S1 that made the characters more specific and interesting. I’m just … genuinely baffled by how it’s supposed to be demonstrably worse than the others. Because of the Kali episode? I didn’t think that one was terrible, either. I think it broke up the momentum of the chaos at Hawkins Lab, and Kali’s friends were obnoxious, it’s certainly not the greatest writing of the series, but as a whole the episode is like. Fine. It’s fine. It’s mediocre, not atrocious. It’s not the worst thing ever. It doesn’t ruin anything about the story or direction or the series. Most importantly it’s easy to ignore or skip on a rewatch if you don’t like it. The backlash was way overblown.

My biggest disappointment with season 3 was Hopper. Whaaaaaaat. Whaaaat did they dooooo. 

Hopper in previous seasons is a flawed, messed-up human being, but I always knew where he was coming from. When he yelled at Eleven in S2, I still got why he did it. In this season he felt cartoonish. The overprotective paternalistic dad trope is annoying BUT I might have been less bothered had they connected it more to Eleven’s lack of experience with the world, less RAWRRRR KEEP BOYS AWAY FROM MY GIRL. Or if Hopper had not demonstrated like, actual rage toward Mike and we just saw him fuming about it to himself or venting to Joyce, if he was trying to keep that shit under control. (I did laugh at him singing “You Don’t Mess Around With Jim” in the car, I gotta admit.)

But his attitude toward Joyce was what really bummed me out. I’m not into this show for shipping reasons, but I low-key enjoyed the possibility of Joyce and Hopper hooking up based on previous seasons. This season felt like they were writing a completely different dynamic for them, one that was much more aggressively obnoxious. I think their intentions were clear - they were going for a Sam-and-Diane relationship, something that was referenced early on in the Bob flashback - but the problem is that their relationship was not like that at all in S1 and S2. When I think of Joyce and Hopper from those seasons, I think about him supporting her after Bob died, or listening to her concerns about her son, or working together to find Will. They didn’t have this combative dynamic! Frankly watching giant-ass Hopper yell at tiny Joyce was viscerally unpleasant. (Side note but in the first trailer there was a shot of Hopper running at the Fun Fair with someone else who I assumed was Eleven, but no, turned out to be Joyce, Winona Ryder is just that tiny next to David Harbour.)

Also, considering this season ended with his death (and we all know he’s not really dead but OK) it’s such a waste that there were few Hopper&Eleven moments! Only the finale brought some quality content on that front. But otherwise their relationship was out of sight, out of mind for almost the whole season, which wasn’t a great choice, both to maximize the emotional impact of the ending, and to expand upon their situation post-S2. I mean, it’s been months since then, how has their relationship changed now? Hopper’s letter talked about the stuff he enjoyed doing with his daughter - why didn’t we see any of that on screen this season? It could’ve helped with the Mike angle, too, like show Hopper and Eleven watching TV together and laughing and having a good time, and then the phone rings and it’s Mike and suddenly Hopper’s watching TV alone as Eleven’s now focused on her boyfriend, we see his disappointment, etc. 

Scoops Troop - Now they were a delight. They had such a ludicrous story but for the most part it worked due to the characters playing off each other and because the writing/acting/directing embraced the silliness. 

Steve Harrington is easily one of the best characters on this show. I fucking love that guy. He’s consistently entertaining, he’s had possibly the best character growth out of anyone in the series, he’s evolved from a stock ‘80s asshole stereotype into someone who’s funny and sympathetic and likable. He’s this amazing blend of the ridiculous with the heroic. Steve and Dustin were great together, as they were last season, and I’m cackling that Steve acquired YET ANOTHER CHILD under his supervision without even trying. But the MVP of the season was the Steve & Robin friendship. Holy shit do I love that relationship. Holy SHIT.

Robin herself is a terrific new character, smart and funny and once you know she’s half-Uma, you can’t unsee it. I was loving her already and then the bathroom scene happened and I YELLED. I was so utterly overjoyed. If they had made Steve and Robin hook up, honestly … I would’ve been fine with it, like this show doesn’t need more heterosexual romance but at least they had a fun dynamic, but man, the friendship angle was so so superior. It’s a type of relationship that media is lacking, and the specific circumstances of this friendship made it genuinely moving to me. I keep wanting to write like a meta post devoted to just this relationship because I just have so many emotions about it! But they play well off each other as a comedic duo and as an odd couple friendship, and they’re really what each other needs, IMO. Steve needed this close friendship more than he needed a girlfriend; in this season he’s clearly adrift and we’ve seen the kind of shitty friends he had in like season one, is Dustin the best pal he had at this point? And I love Steve & Dustin but Steve needed a good friend his own age. Robin is a lesbian in small-town Indiana in the ‘80s, and she was clearly full of fear that Steve would hate her if he knew, and for him to accept her so easily, not even making a big deal about it? That’s kind of life-saving, really. I can’t wait to see more of them, if Netflix wants to make the half-hour Clerks-esque spinoff about them working in a video store and shooting the shit, I would be 100% down for that.

I have some mixed feelings about Erica because I think she could have benefited from getting the same humanization as the other kids (and I’m going to leave the discussion of racial tropes gently by the side at the moment but … yeah). The other child characters are played more like actual people with vulnerabilities, which has been part of the show’s appeal since the first season, and Erica was more like the sitcom kid who always has a snarky quip ready; however, she did make me laugh and I like that they tapped into her being a nerd, I wish they’d explore that in future seasons with the character. “I’m ten, you bald bastard” was one of my favorite lines of the season, I lost my goddamn mind. 

Billy - Lmao, so Billy in S2 was the woooorst. This dude had ZERO redeeming qualities. His abusive dad creates a smidgen of sympathy, I guess, but Billy goes so far beyond normal teenage assholery that it didn’t make a dent in my opinion of him. You can redeem someone like Steve Harrington, first of all because Steve actually feels regret and works to correct his mistakes, but Steve also didn’t go to a point of no return in the first place. Billy did, for me. Physically and verbally abusing his younger sister? Attacking a black middle-schooler for the crime of being in the same room as his white sister? What a piece of shit.

With that in mind - I have no problem focusing on him as a villain this season, I really don’t. It justifies his inclusion in S2 other than as a human antagonist who’s ultimately not really connected to the main plot, as it retrospectively establishes him as an even greater threat in this season. I also think the actor did a good job with the material he was given. However, ultimately this dude’s arc was underwhelming. The thing is … I can tell they were trying to show Billy struggling with the Mind Flayer, but Billy is so lacking in any positive qualities that it’s kind of like, where does that struggle even come from? Yeah, even the worst people aren’t going to be wild about having a monster from another dimension hijack your body and use it to collect people for spare parts, but this is the same dude who was about to run over Mike, Lucas, and Dustin on their bikes last season for absolutely no reason. He beat Steve to point of unconsciousness and could’ve put him in the hospital. He assaulted Lucas. So I really need some evidence of Billy’s moral compass because it is not inherent and there’s in fact plenty of evidence that it doesn’t exist. I’m not very enthusiastic about redeeming a racist, abusive creep, but I also think if you’re going to go for him helping Eleven at the end … you have to show some current potential for goodness, not just “used to be a nice kid.”

A really glaring omission: the lack of any family/home scenes with him, Max, and their parents this season. We left off last season with Max telling him to leave her and her friends alone. How is their relationship since then? Is there still a lot of friction? Is there a tense peace? Has their relationship improved in any way? We really needed to see that follow-up. I get that Max crying over Billy this season makes sense in that he’s still her family and we can still have love for those who hurt us … but I also feel that we needed something between them to justify her pain, like even just the potential of their relationship being a fraction better, or the suggestion that Billy used to be OK to Max before he went full asshole. And I think we really needed to see Billy’s dad being currently abusive in this season - tbh, missed opportunity that the dad didn’t get flayed like, out of revenge (which would have been both satisfying and horrifying), missed opportunities for suspense when we think Billy might serve up Max and her mom to the Mind Flayer, etc.

Another missed opportunity: drawing parallels between Billy and Will. Both are possessed by the Mind Flayer. Both had shitty dads calling them homophobic slurs. Both could be read as gay (I’m not hungry to claim Billy as LGBT representation or invested in this interpretation but his scenes with Steve in S2 admittedly have that sweaty homoerotic dick-measuring vibe, if you want to take it there). Their names are both William, FFS. The difference is that Will is a sweet and gentle kid surrounded by loving family and friends who fought to save him, and Billy is a violent, cruel dude who probably doesn’t have any real friends, just shallow connections. You could show how the Mind Flayer could more easily possess and manipulate someone like Billy, but that wasn’t really explored.

Also, is anyone going to dwell on the fact that like … Max is living with an abusive man as her stepfather? He’s shown hurting Billy’s mom. Does that not concern anyone that he is very likely to attack either Max or her mom? 

Oh, and thank God they didn’t take the Billy/Karen thing all the way. In retrospect, even weirder considering Billy’s mommy issues. 

Joyce - I get that it’s a big leap downward in emotional investment to go from “must save my son” to “fucking magnets, how do they work” but I liked that she had her own investigation that wasn’t full of emotional turmoil. Winona forever. 

Mike - Everyone is ragging on him but I think he was less terrible than people are making him out to be. He was bratty in a teenage way, but he wasn’t the worst kid ever. I didn’t take his now notorious line to Will (“It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”) as something intentionally cruel or homophobic, just something that came out wrong and that he instantly regretted, and he and Lucas did seem genuinely apologetic over the D&D game and went over to Will’s in the rain out of concern. And the reason he lied to Eleven was because SCARY ASS HOPPER threatened him??? Also, his concern over Eleven overexerting herself was not misplaced, lmao! It really took that long for anyone to go, “Hey, should we be worried about the amount of blood coming out of her nose? Should we be concerned about the effects on her brain?” Sure, Eleven has the final say in whether or not she uses her powers, but tbh… she didn’t have a normal upbringing and her view of her powers is probably skewed. Like, would Eleven have enough basic medical knowledge to be worried about brain damage or nosebleeds, or would that just be the norm to her? Is she making these decisions with a full grasp of the potential consequences? Anyway, I don’t have a more negative opinion of Mike after this season. 

Eleven - I loved Eleven a lot in this season. I don’t know if it did a ton for her character arc, but it’s nice to see her slowly develop into more of a normal girl. And the season was rough for her in terms of getting her ass kicked, she goes through so much mental and physical pain! In the end she loses her dad and her powers!

Of course one of the bright spots was her and Max becoming friends! Not gonna lie, there was something a little … simplistic about some of that depiction of friendship for me - just that so much of it was SHOPPING and GIGGLING and BOY TALK, girls being GIRLS, when Max has been portrayed as a tomboy and Eleven is a telekinetic kid raised in a lab, that maybe their interactions shouldn’t have fit the mold quite so much - but it doesn’t truly bother me because they were so sweet and fun. I loved them tracking down Billy together and I appreciate that their friendship carried throughout the season, that Max was the person shown carrying an injured Eleven along with Mike, Eleven comforted Max after Billy died, etc. That was a definite sore spot of S2, the girl-on-girl jealousy and Eleven flat-out rejecting Max’s friendly introduction, and I do think they took that feedback into account for the better here. I also like that Eleven was clearly taking cues from Max, the more “worldly” of the two about boys and clothes and teenage attitudes in general - it gave their friendship a more specific shape.

I cannot WAIT to see her living with the Byers family next season. Like if they don’t spend significant time on that dynamic, it will be the biggest disappointment. There could be 8 episodes of just boring mundane Byers domestic scenes and I would love it, please inject it into my eyeballs, Duffer bros. I want to see her bonding with all of them, trying to fit in at school, attempting the most normal life she’s ever had. Also lmao, she and Will can finally have a goddamn conversation??? I hope they’ve been withholding that relationship because they were planning to go all out with those new sibling vibes in S4. They are the two characters who have been most traumatized by the Upside Down, we deserve to see them connect.

On that note, I have a lot of thoughts about Will in this season! Mainly - underused as FUCK. After all that trauma of being possessed by the Mind Flayer last season, they barely utilize this connection in the second half of S3. Even his Spidey sense hardly came in handy??? Now that was really weird, IMO, because the least they could do was have that feeling alert the others or be useful, but lmao it was practically pointless. 

It’s weird because I’m not sure if they just don’t know what to do with Will if he’s not being a victim (which is stupid because there’s plenty you could do with him), but at the same time, he has one of the most poignant subplots of the season. From the reactions I’ve seen, Will feeling rejected and left out as his friends move on really resonated with a lot of viewers. But then this thread is abandoned after episode 3, for the most part. Will cries and destroys the place that represents his childhood, a place that was created specifically in response to trauma (mentioned in S2 that he and Jonathan built it after their dad left), this is very rich emotional territory … and then the show’s just like ehhhhhh moving on. He’s just hanging out in the background and touching his neck for the rest of the season. 

And now I gotta talk about that other thing with Will.

I am so confused by what the Duffer brothers are trying to accomplish with Will’s sexuality, because on the one hand it seems like they have a really clear idea about it and on the other hand they’re just like¯\_(ツ)_/¯  The thing is … it seems very obvious they have always thought of Will as gay. This is blatant from the original pitch from the show as well as one of the S2 scripts (the only one that’s available publicly, so who knows what else they’ve written). I accept that people have different interpretations, but The Line this season is far from the only textual support for Will being gay, and I think it makes for a much, much stronger narrative if you read Will as gay in addition to not wanting to grow up as fast as his friends and being stunted from trauma - that is an entire meta post in itself, though. 

What gets me about the ~ambiguity is that the Duffer brothers planted the gay hints in the first place! They are absolutely not there by accident! Like I’m not speaking for the teenage actors but lmao, the adults involved in the writing and directing of this series absolutely fucking knew how that “not my fault you don’t like girls” scene would be interpreted, especially considering fans were debating Will’s sexuality from the beginning, based off the many homophobic comments leveled at him in S1. There have been TV shows where fans latched onto gay “subtext” that was likely unintentional, but this isn’t one of them. 

IDK, man, it’d just be nice to have some confidence in where this is going. I loved Robin and the bathroom scene made me think that yeah, they might do a decent job with Will’s sexuality, something I might have doubted before. Under no circumstances do I expect a Skam S3-style coming out arc for Will, but I’m also uncertain if I should expect anything from the show on this front at all or if they’ll play it coy to the bitter end. Though I guess I’d still take the ambiguity over giving him a female love interest after everything. Lol, that would be a giant oh-fuck-no.

Real talk, though, let’s discuss what an utter waste it would be to not write a scene where Joyce tenderly accepts her son when he comes out to her. You really aren’t going to bring that instantly iconic moment to life, assholes? You’re not going to provide that for Winona Ryder’s and Noah Schnapp’s Emmy reels? MAKE IT HAPPEN, BASTARDS.

Nancy and Jonathan have a reputation for the most boring plots but they’re fine, w/e. I’m not deeply invested in their romance but I don’t want to fast forward their scenes or anything. Nancy is an underrated character; she’s extremely proactive and always has been, and I enjoy watching her shoot things. I think the best thing they could do for both characters, though, is to separate them next season, not just physically but storyline-wise. Jonathan would be best in a subplot involving his family, because he’s at his most likable as a son and brother, and Nancy should either go off with Mike (a sibling relationship that is VASTLY undeveloped), or she should team up with Robin. I mean it, Nancy and Robin would be a power pairing, let me show you my manifesto. Both are smart young women who are good at solving mysteries. Would Robin think Nancy is a priss after Nancy unloads several rounds into the latest demogorgon chasing them? Would Nancy find Robin a refreshing alternative to the crushing suburban conformity that she claims to want to avoid? Oh, the possibilities. Meanwhile, Steve tags along in the background, all like OH SHIT, my lesbian BFF and my ex-girlfriend are in cahoots! 

Lucas and Max were playing relationship counselors to Mike and Eleven through much of the season. Max still had a fair amount to do, but Lucas needs a meatier subplot next time. I feel like they’re not sure what to do with him? I would like to see him and Erica interact more since their dynamic so far is one-note. 

There is one hell of a conversation to be had about the Evil Russians of this season, but I’m really not the person to do it. 

Also about the depiction of capitalism this season. That’s more thinkpiece-y than I am equipped to do right now. 

The product placement is something that should bother me more but I’m just like … shrug. Except that New Coke bit because that was an actual mood-breaker. 

Could have done without Russian Terminator guy. That was a blatant ‘80s homage so I get why he was there, he just wasn’t all that interesting. And was that guy supposed to be superpowered or something? Was he getting jacked on Upside Down steroids???  What was his deal???

Alexei/Murray was the true OTP of the season, let’s be real.

The trend of lovable, doomed minor characters continued with Alexei. Props to that actor for making you root for the guy. He even made me kind of love Murray? I was very WTF over that guy encouraging two teenagers to fuck in S2, and I’m still not into his habit of telling people to bang even when they’re adults, but I guess he just needed a sympathetic Russian buddy to win me over. 

There were a ton of moments where I felt like the characters made stupid choices as opposed to earlier seasons. Will getting dragged into the Upside Down in the first 10 minutes of the series is an impressive example of a horror movie character doing everything right and making good decisions - a 12-year-old, no less. And he was still overpowered by the demogorgon so it’s not like making good decisions will always save you! Whereas this season I was like LORD some of these characters are drinking dumbass juice. 

There was also so much silly stuff happening, like things that are even more far-fetched than previous seasons, but I just kind of went with it. Yeah, of course there’s a secret Russian base under a shopping mall. Sure.

This season is objectively disgusting in terms of gore and yet I was fine with it? And I’m someone who was repulsed by Barb’s corpse in S1. The Mind Flayer being made of people was some nasty shit but effective horror. I felt bad for the poor little rats :( Oh, and the flayed humans, too. Some of them. Was sad to see Mrs. Driscoll bite it but FUCK those cartoon misogynists from the newspaper. 

Visually beautiful! Starcourt Mall is an amazing set and I’m rather sad that the mall was destroyed, although that was basically a foregone conclusion. Some great cinematography, too. On a purely aesthetic level I had a great time just blasting this season into my retinas.

I have had the motherfucking NeverEnding Story theme song in my head for almost two weeks and I’m suffering.

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x10

Ok, so this week’s episode, ‘It’s All About The Money, Honey’ delivered two of my season 6 wish list items: Kelsey and Charles working together as a supportive team and really getting to see their dynamic and relationship (I sometimes forget that they have a whole history BL - Before Liza) and Liza and Charles getting drunk and handsy at a bar. I’m not even kidding, when I wrote my season 6 wish list I word for word wrote that. So thank you for those Alison Brown, I am simple folk and I am happy. I would also like to show my appreciation for a number of throwbacks that were nice little nuggets from previous seasons.

I don’t know whether it was deliberate or not, but this ep seemed to really play very obvious set ups, where you could see what was coming and kind of hoped it’d play out differently because eek! but then nope. I have no idea if this approach has a name in screenwriting, it was sort of like set-up slapstick, for absolute lack of any better description (I’m sure ‘eek!’ is a technical term somewhere…). I am writing much of this on a plane on my way to holiday time (yay), which may mean nothing or something but I think my point is that I may miss a few bits and pieces here and there. There’s much to discuss so let’s do this! 

After their declarations of love last week, this episode opens with Zane, a towel, his abs and Kelsey chatting about her trip to Chicago to ‘beg for money’, which nicely sets up a few themes for the ep. The issue of not being taken seriously as a woman in business is quickly flagged, along with the appropriate foreshadowing of future faux pas with Zane’s reassurance that Kelsey will get their attention being the only woman in the room (as he very unsubtly opens her shirt while staring at her chest) and Kelsey’s quip that ‘I guess I have more assets than you’ (boobs, she means her boobs ICYMI).

Liza and Charles are also saying their farewells, with Charles continuing to be supportive boyfriend no. 1 as he tells Liza to stop feeling guilty before reassuring her that everything is going to be fine, which we all know means it absolutely will not be. I’d like to officially welcome back the ‘miss you’ texts because a) they’re adorable and b) I do love a good text distraction as a giant poster of a woman and her ex goes past on the side of a bus just when that woman is floating along blissfully thinking of her current bf. As she passes another poster, it’s only a matter of time until Liza comes face to face with, well, her face. On the side of a building. Eek! indeed.

Naturally Liza’s first instinct is to call Kelsey, who is at the airport with Charles, to ask her to stop him from seeing the ad until she has the chance to speak to him. I feel like a phone call to Charles instead in that moment would’ve sorted it all pretty quickly, but then we would’ve missed out on his smile at the pic of Liza that comes up on Kelsey’s phone and the funniest moment of the episode, Kelsey’s sudden onset escalator phobia (‘I don’t like them, they’re weird’ LOL). The absolute highlight of this episode for me was seeing Kelsey and Charles working together. From the moment she’s filling him in on the investors they’re meeting with because she’s done her research to Charles saying that she can do the job without investors sticking their noses in (Bryce reference noted, what a dud) to Kelsey redirecting him to the elevator and him confused but obliging without question, their dynamic from the get go was fab and a lovely build on last week’s ep.

Meanwhile, luckily for Liza Lauren is at work, which is really lucky for all of us because Lauren now only referring to Diana as Diva and Diana clearly very ok with it is all I’ve ever wanted and my mind is filling in all the blanks about what the two of them would have been sitting there talking about while waiting to see if the people they sent to catch their food return (this line = yes Diva). I loved Lauren’s 'here?’ when Liza asks if she can talk to her (then 'so here, ok’ as she sits down lol) because it certainly feels as though Lauren is trying to keep the moment about Diana and the excitement of getting the appointment at Kleinfeld and is reluctant to let Liza make it all about her (which she of course does and Diana calls her out on it and I am here for it every day of the week). 

Liza’s obsessive focus on the ad campaign and the need to speak to Charles about it really consumes her for the entire episode and blinds her to the needs of any other characters in way that seems uncharacteristic, but is also quite on brand considering some of the self-absorbed moments we’ve seen from her throughout the series. I guess it just seems uncharacteristic for season 6 Liza (or at least my understanding and construction of this character at this point), with a lie no longer in play and able to live her life honestly, as she’s been hoping to do since season one. I’m unsure whether this fixation and her consequent behaviour was meant to be funny or highlight the point that clearly there is more to the poster than it just being about clothes (we get it, there are FEELINGS), but I have to say that I really struggled with it considering Liza’s journey to where she is now and also this show’s usual tendency to be more nuanced.

Despite Liza’s persistence with Lauren re: Infinitely 21 at Kleinfeld (my concern that Lauren was harbouring some ill feeling towards Liza following the lie reveal was quashed when she revealed that she’d phoned Shelly to say Liza was uncomfortable with the ad. I mean, ‘I left a voicemail for you!’ is as ‘I’ve got your back’ as it comes), we were given a delightful moment between Diana and Liza as they reminisced about their first weddings and it’s conversations like this that I would like to see many more of. These two talking as women who have shared life experience is everything. It is then revealed that Infinitely 21’s campaign is going national which leads Liza to bail on the bride to frantically make a dash to Chicago, but my main takeaway from this scene is that Diana is going to have the wedding celebration she damn well deserves and quite frankly, this Trout/DeLuca “event of the year” cannot come fast enough.

Turns out Liza is not the only one getting on a big jet plane, as Claire fills Josh in on the amazing promotion to Senior Project Manager she’s been offered at Google, which will set Gemma up nicely. The only catch is, it’s in LA. Josh is understandably upset and as Claire assures him they’ll figure it out, he also spots the Infinitely 21 poster for the first time, because the only thing better than finding out your daughter might be moving across the country is being plastered all over the city in a pic with your ex who you’re still in love with. One of my favourite friendships on this show is that between Maggie and Josh, so I enjoyed seeing him go to Maggie to talk over the revelations of the morning (what a morning!). You’ve gotta love Maggie’s, ‘it’s not a sign’ to snap Josh out of the wallowing (and Josh’s ‘it’s literally a sign’, ha), her encouraging him to fight for Gemma and use the Infinitely 21 success to his advantage was a solid suggestion (though I am a little disappointed that Maggie didn’t ask if he’d consider moving to LA as one possible option to keep Gemma in his life or at least throw it out there on one of her famous Maggie ‘these are your options’ lists).

Josh meets with Shelly, who makes zero attempt to hide her thirst and it’s pretty darn hilarious and I actually love this entire interaction. Josh’s idea of franchising Inkburg, mentioned at the retreat in episode 6, remerges in the form of a collaboration with Infinitely 21 (Retail-tainment). Inkburg Midtown would offer a set of flash pieces exclusive to Infinitely 21, it is all very well pitched and I like seeing Josh in business mode because he’s clearly pretty decent at it after all these years, but not as much as Shelly likes it and him and everything which leads to her basically groping him in store (‘I’m a hugger’, yeah sure Shel). I have to believe that Josh’s move to establish the partnership with Infinitely 21 is so that he has clout to replicate the idea in LA and establish a national presence if he wants, rather than to try and keep Claire in New York by saying he can support her financially (unless we discover that is what Claire actually wants). Josh has been written as way too woke to do something to sabotage the career of the mother of his child, especially considering his experience with Liza and knowing what she went through. I, for one, will watch this space.

Another space I have watched closely is Kelsey’s, especially as she’s grappled with the role of publisher and really found her feet in the last couple of episodes. Her brilliant boss mode continued this week and seeing Kelsey so nervous before the pitch meeting, but still keeping her level head even after discovering Jacobs was the only shot at keeping the company alive, demonstrated again how much she has grown. From the moment Jeffrey and Ennis greet Kelsey and Charles, and by greet I mean look straight through Kelsey at Charles, you just know that this is going to be a tough gig for Kels. The men very obviously talk only to Charles, patronise Kelsey asking 'do you even know what those [precious metals] are?’, ugh it’s all so gross but also a bit too real and familiar. I love that Charles makes a point of saying 'we’ and emphasising that they are a team and it is obvious he is not comfortable that even when Kelsey is speaking they still look at and talk to him. Seeing Kelsey interject confidently and intelligently (although when she tells that room of suits to follow her on Insta it was a definite Eek! moment) was so satisfying, she read the room, commanded it pay attention and it did. Charles is proud and impressed and lets her hold the floor (as he should but it was great to see) and I could legit watch a whole series with these two as kick-ass business partners.

Just when I thought my new fave dynamic duo couldn’t have any more golden moments, Kelsey and Charles getting celebratory drinks happened. After last season saw a lot of tension between these two characters, seeing this relationship shift to one of mentor/mentee that is truly symbiotic (I have no doubt that Charles is learning as much from Kelsey as she is from him), where Kelsey still needs reassurance about how the business world works and Charles expresses his eternal gratitude for her amazing work…seriously, did I mention how much I love this? It is an actual dream.

Of course it is just after a commemorative glass clinking moment that Liza arrives, much to the elation of Charles (‘this day just keeps getting better and better’, ugh) and wariness of Kelsey, who immediately questions Liza’s real reason for being there.  Upon hearing that the Infinitely 21 campaign (yes, we’re still talking about that) has gone national so Liza came to speak to Charles, Kelsey looks at her with the same ‘you have lost the plot’ look I had on my face, before telling her, ‘not now…we are celebrating’. Liza agrees as smitten, happy Charles looks over but this high school drama-esque carry on is really a bit much at this point. All I can say is thank goodness for the scene that followed, because it very quickly made me forget that I was getting annoyed.

First we get the revelation that Liza made out with Chrissie Hart on Shelter Island, which was also the last time we saw Charles and Liza drunk together but they were also not actually together, so it was very much that moment that sparked my need to see them out and drinking again some time.  So yes, sharing great stories as they all sit around, check, they are all so carefree and jovial and then Charles and Liza just start making out in front of third wheel Kelsey and I cannot and this is 100% the quality content that my trashbag heart lives for. But it is Liza and Charles bidding Kelsey goodnight when she says she’s heading back to her room, and Charles saying, ‘bye’ before turning to Liza with a soft, ‘hi’ that completely undoes me. Seriously, project this entire scene on loop on my tombstone for I. am. deceased.

Drunk Kelsey back in her room responding to Zane’s message with a boob shot = I am DYING again but for different reasons. Kelsey Lorraine indeed, Lauren seeing it on Insta stories is every kind of second hand mortification and poor Kelsey waking up and realising what she’s done is yikes (but lbh it’s also a little bit hilarious, special thanks to the messages left on her story: A tale of two titties, Nippy longstockings and my personal fave, Did you mean to post this? It’s Liz from the gym). Kelsey’s waking nightmare is contrasted by Liza waking up to her fantasy of her, Charles, coffee and paper (you and me both sista), but my fantasy is quickly shattered when Liza spots that pesky ad on the back of the newspaper and grabs it from Charles in a totally normal way, which he interprets to be playful and suggestive, until he realises it is not.

Liza’s reveal makes it pretty obvious that she’s feeling guilty but that is quickly interrupted by the frantic knocking of Kelsey, the bearer of more bad news. Liza greeting her with ‘he’s seen it’, countered by Kelsey’s horrified, ‘Charles saw my boobs?’ before Liza corrects her with, ‘no, the Infinitely 21 ad’ is just so mind boggling, I mean, what person in their right mind opens the door to their best friend’s incessant knocking and thinks ‘they must be beside themselves to find out if I told Charles yet?’ I get it, it’s consuming Liza because it’s dredging up feelings so that the triangle can be revived after lying dormant (presumed dead) the past two seasons, but Charles having to hear about Kelsey’s mistake (though Liza’s ‘you look good’ is v. funny), as well as process that Liza didn’t come to Chicago to surprise him and Kelsey at all just makes me pretty sad.

Kelsey continues to be impressive as she owns her screw up and humbly explains herself to the room full of gross men. I do love how they’ve been cast, so much brown fabric. Charles’, 'it’s just too much of a good thing…I mean Kelsey’s internet presence’, is awks af but he’s really trying to throw his support behind her. Ennis Jacobs asking Kelsey if she’s considered distancing herself from the Millennial brand (dude, she IS the Millennial brand) and saying they are still interested in investing if Charles is publisher made me want to scream for her, Charles’ assertion that 'she is a woman who has made nothing but smart decisions since she’s been in a position to make decisions’ met with the biggest decision Kelsey has made yet; stepping down as publisher.

I do see it, the juxtaposition of how a man embroiled in a scandal (publisher having an affair with a 28 year old assistant) is treated vs. a woman whose potentially scandalous error was accidental, that the ultimate ramifications for him are minimal because look, he’s now back where he was not that long ago (though I also see the mirroring of Charles having to step down due to the scandal and now Kelsey having to do the same…so maybe they’re just the ultimate tag team?). I am going to wait to see how the rest of this season plays out (on all fronts), but if at seasons end, Charles is publisher again, and it’s all basically as it once was, then what was the point of any of this beyond making that statement? I mean, there are a number of ways it could go, so I am interested to see what this means. I am just really heartbroken for Kelsey because in that moment, she put the need of the company ahead of her own ambition and I am also heartbroken because she really had FINALLY come into her own as publisher and I was excited to see what she would do next.

After the horrendous meeting, Liza is waiting for Charles to finish the conversation about the ad and Charles suggests that she fly back to NY with Kelsey, because ‘she needs you now’ (seriously, if Charles is in your corner he is IN your corner). I love that Charles knows what Liza flying to Chicago really means and calls her out on it, that he is not bothered by her past or relationship with Josh, it’s the fact she felt she had to get on a plane that makes him wonder if there is something to be worried about. Call me boring but I have always appreciated that these two have actual proper adult conversations and don’t avoid issues and this was no exception.

Charles puts it to Liza that ‘everyone has a past, but in order to have a future, you move on from it’, to which she responds that ‘other people live in the past in order to have a future’.  Yes, Liza had to live a younger life in order to build a new future for herself but now that she has re-established her career and her real age is no longer a secret, is that what she wants to keep doing? I do believe Liza realises she isn’t being fair to Charles but I think we all know that even if her pledge not to see Josh anymore was genuine at the time, it is not going to be upheld and was probably a bit of an over-promise. But I do appreciate that Liza really is choosing Charles in that moment.

It’s the escalator ride (which is weirdly relatable for some reason) once Kelsey and Liza are back in New York, but neither want to go home, that shows that even if Liza does want to move forward, she is still stuck between these two worlds. I have to say, Kelsey losing her job and being publicly humiliated somehow being on par with a 42 year old woman feeling sad that she can’t be friends with an ex because she’s confused about her feelings is ridiculous and I personally feel like the final moments of this ep should have been focused squarely on Kelsey. I do agree with Liza that Kelsey will get it back though, that was the correct response.

The painfully longing glances at the giant poster of her and Josh can be taken as a letting go of the past and moving forward (time will tell) but it also undoubtedly indicates that Liza’s days of once again oscillating between these two men are very much on the horizon which is, to be frank, really disappointing at this point in a series. My biggest issue is the fact that we keep being told that this show is not about the triangle, it’s about the women and the friendships yet it’s constantly being made about the triangle. In always pulling the focus to the triangle this show is making it about the men, which is the very thing it so brilliantly admonishes society for doing.

While I am absolutely reserving all judgement until I see how the rest of this season unfolds, I have to believe that if the triangle does make a comeback, it is being dredged up again to bring it to a head once and for all, so that we can all move on and focus on the many far more compelling aspects that make up this wonderful show.

[raitrolling]

💡📑⌨ kat, soroll, n ashe uvu

💡 What inspires you to write the muse? 

tbh in general i don’t really have ‘active’ inspirations?? i just kinda... think about the character and be like ‘yeah i feel like writing them today’ lmao. especially for characters like soroll, whose muse tends to pop up when i read an open rp and think ‘yeah he could work in this scenario’, rather than some sort of external inspiration if that makes sense?

I guess for katrin i have a lot of songs that remind me of her + her relationships, so i tend to think about her more whenever they pop up on shuffle. also things like watching shows/playing games with either time travel plots or super-powerful/basically godlike female villain protagonists give me the Big Kat Vibes, but that more applies to her sgrub au counterpart than current!kat

Tho for ashell my muse for him increases tenfold whenever i encounter a food i used to love but now can’t eat cuz of my fructose intolerance LMAO. not being able to eat garlic is truly Suffering when garlic powder is in literally fucking everything

📑 Favorite part of your muse’s backstory? 

A lot of katrin’s backstory has been a bunch of doom and gloom, so i like all the little moments that started out terrible, but somehow worked out for her in the end. like how she ended up working for barsho as reparations for how she pretty much ruined his reputation by ‘advertising’ his store (read: swapping people’s wallets with business cards for his boutique). she thought it was a great plan, and even though she’s now forever indebted to him, they’ve got this weird kinda friendship going on as a result of it that I like? idk its a fun dynamic

My fav part of soroll’s backstory is how he had a big scene phase when he was younger, just cuz it’s something that’s really silly but also something he looks back on fondly instead of feeling embarrassed over it. obvs now it’s not such a big deal since Scene Is Back Babey!!, but back when i made him it was still considered ‘’’cringy’’’, so i like how he always took it in stride and was like ‘yeah i’ve grown out of it but i had a lot of fun back then so its cool’

Ashell doesn’t really have a lot to his backstory other than how he died, but i like his old friendship with vallis and his time living in vernrot harbour. it might be weird for me to say that my fav part about their friendship is how it just drifted apart naturally with no regrets or bad blood between them, but considering a lot of my trolls’ past relationships usually end poorly it’s a nice change of pace for me. and him now being an outsider to his old town is also fun since he’s now aware of how Freaky and Eldritch vernrot is, so the idea of him needing to adjust to a normal lifestyle has the potential to be really funny imo

⌨ What’s a situation you’ve always wanted to RP with the muse? 

I’ve always liked the idea of katrin meeting someone she knows while she’s in her red-eyed raccoon get-up and having to help them in some way, but also trying to hide her identity from them. something like her saving them from some thugs or encountering them after they’ve been in a Bad Situation. bonus points if the other trolls knows it’s very obviously her, but doesn’t draw any attention to it so she thinks she’s being slick LMAO

As for soroll, i don’t really have any plots in particular i’d like to rp with him? other than just general friendship and maybe quad plots. i like the idea of him having a moirail who is super reckless so he has someone to fuss over, but i have no clue what he’d want in his red or black quads rip. maybe a plot with him talking more about his involvement in the red scarves would be interesting, but it wouldn’t really lead anywhere since he can’t be ‘saved’ from that situation

And for ashell... i’m a simple gay i just wanna plot romance LMAO. he’s got a problem where he develops lowkey crushes on every guy he meets but never acts on them, and 95% of the time he’s happy remaining their friendly doctor who also pesters them about making sure they’re eating well and getting enough sleep. but he’s very afraid of someone showing interest back, so i think it’d be interesting if his feelings were reciprocated for once. and then ashe has to confront the mortifying ideal of being loved and entering a committed relationship that could potentially last longer than like a week

[lostbutterflyutau]

Character Colour Palette: Carla Delgado

Note: This was sparked by the discussion of character designs and colour meanings on Episode Four of The Magic Within Podcast. Their discussion got me thinking, obviously, about my girl and what her colour palette might mean. So,I’d like to say Thank You to the Podcast Princesses for their cool segment!

 First Outfit

Carla’s first outfit is a mix of different colours, with the main colour being yellow. The colour Yellow is said to have conflicting associations. While it generally represents sunshine, hope and happiness…none of which really apply to Carla at this particular point in her story, it can also represent energy, which she certainly has a lot of. Carla is fierce, feisty and is the only one on Team Shuriki who’s having none of Shuriki’s crap. She grows increasingly annoyed with her father’s loyalty to the sorceress, openly talks back to her and is just an overall pain in the ass. (And I love it!) She’s young and passionate and just has a lot of energy that would be a great asset if channeled properly. But, I digress. The colour can also represent honour and loyalty, which seem like strange traits to describe Carla, but hear me out. Carla is fiercely loyal to her father. Or, rather, they’re loyal to each other. Despite all her doubts, she goes along with his plans and they never leave the other behind. On the other hand, yellow can also represent cowardice and deceit, which needs little explanation. Carla was raised as a thief. She was born into a life of criminality and always on the run. She’s a master manipulator and a flirt who knows how to get what she wants through deceitful means. The whole Spy in the Palace trilogy shows this well.

 Additionally, a dull yellow, like what Carla wears can also represent caution and jealousy. Jealousy in particular is something she’s shown to be privy to. Once the dynamic shifts and it’s no longer just her and her father, she gets aggravated. For as long as she can remember, it’s always been two, her and Victor, and then Shuriki and Fiero join the fray and she’s shoved aside. Yeah, that doesn’t work for Carla. She doesn’t like being shoved off and certainly doesn’t like being number two to Fiero’s number one.

 Carla’s second major colour is black. Black is associated with fear, mystery, strength, authority, evil, aggression, and rebellion. Now that’s a lot to break down. But, some of the traits go hand in hand. Obviously, Carla’s (current) alignment is evil, and with it she wants to strike fear into others, gain respect and hold authority and power. At least, that appears to be the path they are going down. She’s always been told that ambition and power will get her what she wants, so she strives for these things, which leads us to rebellion. Her alignment in itself is a rebellion, along with the way she was raised. She’s going against the rules and norms of society, making her way by thieving, scheming and conning alongside her father. Additionally, Black often represents the emotions and actions of rebellion in teenagers, which Carla is. As previously stated, she openly rebels against Shuriki and has no problems talking back. Carla is very strong and opinionated and hates being shoved around.

 Black is a mysterious colour, typically associated with the unknown and negative. Now, this is interesting to me, because, beyond the obvious negativity and aggression, I believe there is some mystery to be talked about. This may be my bias talking, but Carla is one of those characters that I believe has more to say what’s on the surface. We don’t know a whole lot about her, her life experience and more importantly, her mother, which I believe is a big part of the puzzle that is Carla Delgado. There’s this whole cloud of mystery surrounding her that we have yet to unravel.

To finish it off, we have small splashes of orange, red and green. One meaning for Orange is creativity. As shown in A Spy in the Palace trilogy, Carla is actually very creative. Not only in her scheming, but also when it comes to projects and crafts, though she seems to dislike the latter. She designed a whole new banner for the Jaquin festival and was said to be helping with decorations for other events throughout her time in the palace. It is also said to be vibrant and flamboyant, which fits in the sense that Carla can be a bit…extra. She definitely has a touch of drama queen in her.

The subtle hints of Red are representative of several things. On the positive end, we have Carla’s leadership, determination, willpower, and confidence. Carla harbours traits that I believe, if channeled correctly, would make her a great leader. When she knows what she wants, she’s determined and hardworking and will do whatever she can to get it, such as in The Jewel of Maru, when she refused to give in until she got the jewel that she was told would get her power. She kept going even when her father wanted to just give up.

On the negative end, we have rage, malice and wrath. Carla has one heck of a temper and is likely the type of person to hold grudges. The way she glares at Shuriki is enough to tell you this. Being a villain, malice and wrath are part of the deal. Her actions against Naomi during the preparations for the Jaquin festival show this well as she purposely and maliciously breaks everything apart simply to make Naomi look bad and ultimately get what she wants with no regard for anyone’s feelings.

 Lastly is Green. Green is said to represent a lack of experience and need growth, which seems like a weird thing to point out, but, being young, I believe Carla has a lot of room for growth. We see this in Realm of the Jaquins where, not knowing anything of her father’s plans, Carla spends time berating him with questions, not being able to see how each piece of the plan is meant to connect to the others. Even asking if it was wise for them to return to Avalor after what happened last time. Her inexperience is shown in the way she sometimes jumps into things without thinking. But, green can also be associated with greed and jealousy, two of Carla’s prominent negative traits.

 Second (Malvago) Outfit

Carla’s Malvago robe is different shades of purple. The color purple is often associated with nobility, luxury, power, and ambition. Purple also represents meanings of wealth, extravagance, creativity, dignity, devotion, pride, mystery, independence, and magic. Some of which, namely mystery and creativity, I have already covered.

 The two that stick out the most here are magic and power. Carla started wearing this colour after she was granted dark magic by Fiero, which she is shown to be quiet adept at after a few early mistakes. These powers seem to give her a boost of confidence and only fuel her ambitions. Magic gives her a new skill set to use in her and Victor’s climb to power. Speaking of her father, as mentioned previously, she’s loyal to him. It’s subtle, but they do honestly love and care for one another. And she’s devoted not only to him, but their overall goal, doing whatever she can to be included in the overall plan, even outright telling Shuriki that she has a “clear shot” to bring down Elena in Song of the Sirenas.  

 As far as nobility and luxury are concerned, that’s less what she is, and more what she’s striving towards. She wants to truly be someone, and not just someone, but royalty. After all, in Don’t Look Now, she says she’s “coming for the throne.”

 Dignity and pride go hand in hand for Carla. She’s a very prideful person, and doesn’t appear to fluster easily. In fact, she tends to get defensive rather than deal with embarrassment. Even when in the wrong, she holds onto her pride. In Race for the Realm when Victor brushes her off, says to “leave the spell casting” to him, she doesn’t listen, instead casts the spell in part to spite him and prove she can do it and make up for her first failure.  

 Different shades are also said to hold different meanings. Light purple hues represent feminine energy and delicacy. Dark purple hues evoke feelings of gloom, sadness, and frustration. Bright purple suggest riches and royalty. All things we’ve seen in Carla at one point or another. She’s a flirt who can use her feminine charms to her advantage. The endless failed schemes on the rise to power frustrate her. In fact, she frustrates easily in part because of her impatience. And, as stated, riches and royalty is what she’s striving for. The dream that she’s always been told she wanted and is eagerly chasing.

 Lastly, there’s hints of white on the outfit as well. Now this one was a little more difficult to figure out, but, ultimately, I think it may be used as a hint of things to come. White is typically used to represent humility and purity, but can also represent new beginnings, brilliance and understanding. I’m just going to leave it at that. We all know I have a lot of feelings about Carla, but since we’re talking about canon designs and details, I’m going to leave speculation out of it.