#i love the idea of the mean one being in the righteous path and the nice one being on the demonic path

[senseandaccountability]

“It takes the wrong sort to put the world right.”

A huge problem for me with the tone of the narrative is that outside a very carefully curated playthrough experience with preconceived ideas of and love for Solas, Veilguard is probably the least compassionate game I’ve played in forever, while spouting out lines about how everyone can find a new path in life because our nature isn’t written in stone, our fates are our own, as well as plenty of HR department lines about working together as a team.

“It takes the wrong sort to put the world right.” The game says that, but it definitely doesn’t mean it. At least I don’t feel it. You are so very rarely challenged in your idea of who this wrong sort is and what they could bring to the table. Davrin speaks of the Wardens recruiting at the Gallows but you meet only adorable, righteous and charming ones. The Crows aren’t the wrong sort anymore, they’re just adorably Antivan upper class. And so on and so forth. Rook certainly isn’t the wrong sort either, they’re mentally around 19 years old and stumbling their way through the world like some romance novel protag. In one of the most thematically shallow plots, Rook gets thrown into a prison of regret fit to hold a god but unlike Solas, Rook doesn’t do regrets or guilt because Rook isn’t that complex. Rook hasn’t been allowed to feel any guilt for three acts, just how are they meant to be stuck in a regret prison?  

Compare with Origins where you yourself could be just that wrong sort that would put the world right. ALL of my Origins PCs would get stuck in Solas’s prison due to the weight of their own fuckups. If not during the game events where you could make shitty moves en masse, then because of their origin stories. Brosca and Tabris would get out of there through sheer fury alone - fuck you, I am a wreck because YOU MADE ME ONE, WORLD OF THEDAS - but the nobles would stew. Amell would loop in some guilt trip regarding blood magic and Jowan and whatnot.

Compare with Origins where Loghain is a piece of shit for most of the narrative. He actively wants to kill you and your Order, it’s nothing personal (okay, a little personal) but he just needs you gone. If you want to, you can hack and slash your way through some release there and just have him executed. BUT the game also challenges you on that idea. It presents a very pragmatic alternative that comes with a very plausible downside (you lose Alistair). It presents not excuses but explanations - do with them what you will. Loghain has people in his corner through the entire trilogy, arguing his case. Cauthrien FALLS TO HER KNEES before you, pleading to spare his life. Threnn in DAI will stan him for the rest of her life. Anora tells you stories about the man behind the name.  And Arl Eamon’s world view and idea of Loghain is shown to be more than a little self-serving when faced with the politics of the Landsmeet. Things around Loghain blur. In the Ostagar DLC they allow things to blur even further when Loghain’s pragmatism is countered by Wynne’s player character-moralism (ie “someone died, it’s always wrong if someone died even if that death prevented 9000000 deaths you KILLED someone!!!!!111”). Origins tells me - or hints at - why Loghain became the wrong sort, shows me ways in which he is also the right sort and leaves me wondering about him. Because the game is gritty and dark and weird but also yes, compassionate. If you execute him, Anora will mourn him because she loves him regardless. If you have him join the Wardens she will sit with him while he recovers because he is undeniably an asshole but he’s also her father who braided her hair and showed her the world. A good narrative never, ever forgets that.  Veilguard feels so different here, maybe it's just me. I'm pretty sure I'm almost done being salty now, I just... feel a lot about narratives.

[riversaremeanttobefollowed]

I love this idea

Shen twins or bros au where the Shens go through Qiu Manor and Wu Yanzi together but only Shen Jiu joins Cang Qiong with Yue Qingyuan. Cut to Cang Qiong facing a problem that needs the expertise of a demonic cultivator and Shen Jiu presents the most powerful and elusive demonic cultivator as his brother

...how is it that the demonic cultivator brother is nicer than the one dressed in pastels

[uriekukistan]

JJK 265: The Role of a Sorcerer

one of the focal points of jjk since the beginning has been the roles and responsibilities of jujutsu sorcerers. it's a question that gets thrown around a lot between different characters: as sorcerers, what is the right way to live? it's a driving force behind many of the major events of the story, and the cause of fragmentation, where different paths could have been taken, but weren't. and in one chapter, yuuji dismantles it all.

as much as i'd love to talk about this when it comes to every character, i picked a few that i think are interesting (to me) and carry a lot of weight throughout the story to discuss, including gojo & geto, megumi, yuuta, and, of course, the man of the hour, yuuji.

Gojo & Geto

the main difference between them right from the start is the way they view their roles as sorcerers, and this fragmentation influences their trajectories going forward, and the trajectory of jjk as a whole.

at the start, geto believes that his role as a sorcerer is to protect non-jujutsu sorcerers. as someone who is strong, he must protect those who are weak, and he must keep those who are also strong in check. he accepts this as his role without much question, and he takes it seriously.

in contrast, gojo thinks that idea is, well, garbage, and he argues with geto about it, calling him self-righteous for thinking that way. where geto focuses his concept of his role on those who are weak, gojo focuses his on those who are strong. his role is simply to be strong. he acts to get stronger and prove that strength.

another place where their opinions diverge in conceptualizing their roles as sorcerers is when it comes to finding meaning in their actions. where gojo doesn't think there needs to be meaning in their actions, geto disagrees.

ultimately, his search for meaning leads to his downfall, as he reaches the conclusion that being a sorcerer is a thankless job, cleaning up after and saving the humans from their uncontrolled cursed energy. he decides that sorcerers are the ones who need protection from humans, because they are subjected to the horrors that humans generate, while those humans live in ignorance.

meanwhile, as gojo matures, he doesn't ditch the idea that strength is what matters as a sorcerer, but he shifts his idea of role to raising a generation of strong sorcerers who can rely on each other. and ultimately, these leads to his downfall too. thoughts on this here under point 1.

regardless, their ideas of their roles are major driving factors of their decisions, and therefore the plot of jjk. their roles are what doom them to their respective fates.

Megumi

megumi has made damn sure we know what he believes his role is. he's a sorcerer, not a hero. he doesn't save people because he has to or because it's the right to do. he saves the people he wants to save. that's all.

he uses his conscience to decide who he wants to save, and that is his decided role.

and this is what dooms him too. his decision to save yuuji is what left him vulnerable to sukuna, and his desire to save tsumiki from the culling games left him open to be manipulated by yorozu, as she pretended to be his sister in order to take advantage of what megumi was willing to do so she could play her own version of the culling games. that shock and hurt is what let sukuna latch onto him so easily, and submerge his soul in the depths of his body.

Yuuta

yuuta decides that his role is to not let others be alone. of course, this is most notable when it comes to gojo, but it's shown throughout jjk0 as well, such as when he refuses to let inumaki go against the curse that geto planted alone.

he also expresses this to yuuji after he fake executes him. he makes sure yuuji knows that he isn't alone in his feelings, and that he's not to blame. empathy is one of yuuta's strongest traits, and he makes it his role.

this is why he is willing to go as far as taking gojo's body, because he knows how gojo has to toss aside his humanity to fight all of these special grade curses (for example, when he used his domain expansions while humans were around despite knowing it would cause damage to them), and he doesn't want him to be alone in his inhumanity.

and while yuuta isn't dead yet, his role has doomed him, because, well...

Yuuji

now we come to yuuji, the sorcerer who shakes this concept to its core in jjk 265.

he's someone who'd decided his role before he even became a sorcerer. he wants to help people, and he wants to guide them to proper deaths.

he also accpets his role as sukuna's vessel, and tries to maintain those two parts of his chosen role simultaneously. however, as we know, he fails to balance being sukuna's vessel and saving people in shibuya (i hesitate to use the word fail because it was not a failure of yuuji's, but i hope you know what i mean).

this causes a shift in his idea of his role, especially once megumi asks for his help in the culling games. he embraces this role as a cog. he will help out fushiguro, he'll help unseal gojo, and then he will die. that is his new role.

quote from yuuji in 265:

until recently, i thought i should simply live to fulfill my role as i understood it. i thought if i died like that, i could at least consider it a proper death. but now, i feel like that's not entirely right. ... just the tiny fragments of memories that make up a person drifting elsewhere give value to a human life. ... people aren't tools. we aren't born with any set roles

yuuji completely rejects the idea that people are defined by theid roles at all, whether they are jujutsu sorcerers or not. he sheds his mindset that he needs to help people, or give them proper deaths, or fulfill a role than die in order to be worth something. instead, he accepts the value of his life as a collection of all the things he's experienced and the people he’s known.

and in doing this, he shakes the world of jujutsu kaisen to its core, and creates another crack in the cycle.

[reason-with-the-underdog]

you were not mine to save -> to be loved is to be changed

i keep thinking about how

if you boil down alhaitham & kaveh's akademiya-era fallout fight, it was that alhaitham wanted to change kaveh & kaveh could never agree with his proposed course of action

but now, as full grown adults, alhaitham isnt trying to change kaveh anymore

that core conflict does reoccur, as it did during Parade of Providence when alhaitham lectured kaveh after Act II & kaveh got annoyed

(even though Alhaitham was obviously just worried about kaveh's health/wellbeing...)

this is a common pattern of behavior for them: alhaitham is worried about kaveh & kaveh reacts defensively to it

which speaks to how stubborn & hyper-independent kaveh is

despite being someone who's dedicated to giving back to the community and contributing towards the larger social good, he's quite determined on his own path in life

he'll bear the consequences (ie bankruptcy) all by himself if necessary...! and he's much too stubborn to be talked out of his own decisions

i dont think there was any possible way kaveh could have walked away from the wrecks of the first build of alcazarzaray and still be at peace with himself

and kaveh even admits he was naive (in his teapot dialogue), but he doesnt regret it still even now

so i think its cool alhaitham realised that there's no point in trying to convince kaveh to change who he is

such is kaveh. kaveh will not be someone different, not even for alhaitham. his work & altruism are parts of his core identity

why fight a mountain who will not be moved?

instead, alhaitham goes for more "harm reduction" strategies:

help cover kaveh's bar tabs, which means he's also the one lambad calls to pick up kaveh & see kaveh home safely

snark at kaveh when he's ranting about clients to keep him in a righteous mood instead of getting depressed

there's a quote about how to be loved is to be changed....

and alhaitham certainly has changed so much from that smart-mouthed student who had pinpointed what he thought was the root of kaveh's overbearing altruism and figured he could fix kaveh's problems with that knowledge!

to now as an adult with a lot more life experience: alhaitham knows that kaveh isn't his to save

and the more he tries to force kaveh to changing, the more likely kaveh is to dig his heels in

alhaitham doesnt need to be kaveh's minder or overbearing best friend--

he wants to be kaveh's partner, his equal, which means respecting kaveh's choices for what they are

anyways kaveh's drowner analogy works rly nicely for this core conflict between them (changing people vs supporting them and protecting them from harm)

& i cant believe its canon

i really appreciate this aspect of their relationship too-- it feels very mature & realistic...

how easy it would be if you could just TELL someone how to fix their problems!

its very frustrating to see someone you care about run straight towards problems again & again...

but you can't change someone's mind bc you want it to be that way. they have to decide on their own, on their own volition, and to truly believe in their decision, for the changes to really stick

as much as it sucks that you can't just solve people's problems for them

the human experience is so much richer for all of our different perspectives and ideas and principles that will not be compromised bc someone else wanted it to be

you can't control people's thoughts & that's for the best (also alhaitham's SQ is literally about this lmao)

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

I’m a little nervous talking about this, but I’ve had these thoughts for a while and want to get them down somewhere, so here we are!

There’s a common discussion within TMA of the Idea of human vs monster, and where the line between that is drawn, and this discussion especially applies to the avatar’s and their feeding habits, their desires to hurt others — their hunger. But, I think, that mentality can often lead to the real question being ignored, and that’s the question or choice.

It’s a common theme within TMA, and is prominent within the Becoming of avatars, and what they do after.

A good way of understanding Jon’s feeding in s4 isn’t through the lens of how human is he, rather it’s through the lens of how similar he and Melanie are. He and Melanie act as foils to each other during s4, their actions and choices emphasising their opposing paths.

The gist of it is both wanted to hurt people. It felt good. Both admit to this fact.

And the reason they chose it, is because they’re hurting. Melanie admits to this outright. She’s been angry so long, with little else for her, lashing out and desperate to survive, and suddenly, she has this thing etched into her bones, telling her that this anger is righteous, that hurting herself and hurting others is good. Both are aware that this isn’t good, of course, but it’s so hard to let go of that little, reassuring voice, because doing so means confronting yourself, and your struggles.

I speak as someone with C-PTSD, but this is a very realistic depiction of how it feels, at least to me personally. When you’ve been so powerless for a long period of time, and suddenly, something or someone tells that it’s okay to lash out, to hurt, it’s easy to fall into the destructive cycle, because hurting other people, taking away their power, it gives you a sense of control back, a sense of power.

It isn’t right, of course it isn’t, but it just feels so good.

This is again shown by Melanie and Jon’s separate paths.

Melanie ends up choosing to recover after the bullet is removed, when she could have just as easily found a new, self-destructive path to go down, and it’s not just because the bullet was removed. Taking away her agency here takes away from her arc. She chooses to accept help and she really does work on bettering herself. She doesn’t want to hurt people anymore. Jon doesn’t do that. He feels he can’t. He’s had his power taken from him more times than he can count, been at the mercy of people and monsters, and finally, finally he has power again. He’s put in the position of the tormentor and it feels good. He finds satisfaction in it. And, as with Melanie, there’s a little voice in the back of his head telling him this is right, no matter how guilty he feels afterwards.

He makes excuses to himself, tries to rationalise his own actions as a way of coping, finding a reason to do it again because it’s all he has. It’s a comfort. Is there a supernatural element present? Absolutely! The relationship between Entity and Avatar is one that can just as much parasitic as it is symbiotic, but I think more of Jon’s character is lost by dismissing his darker choices. If anything, the darker choices emphasise his compassionate choices, and vice versa.

Jon can be a victim and still hurt other people; that’s an important thing to acknowledge. Avatars are not just their fears, there is far more to their hunger than that, and they are who they are because of their choices and wants.

Basically, Jon and Melanie are wonderfully written characters and I really love the themes of choice in TMA, can you tell?

[haru-dipthong]

Ep 11 of my Utena fansub is out (sorry for the wait!)

だめだめ。そんな味気ないお昼じゃ、つまんないでしょ？

No, no. Don't eat that, it's just packaged junk.

This line when literally translated is actually closer to “a tasteless lunch like that is boring, don’t you think?”. However, つまらない is more versatile than the English “boring”, and it can also kind of mean “not very good”. Plus, I can’t imagine a middle schooler like Wakaba saying “tasteless”. I tried rephrasing the whole line in a way that would make sense being spoken by a kid who’s trying hard to be an adult.

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基本はレトルトだけどフォルムが超プリティーでしょ？

It's mostly pre-made ingredients, but doesn't it look super pretty?

This line took me AGES to hear correctly. I had to write it down as I heard it to make out all the words, and even then I still had no idea what レトルト (retoruto) meant.

Crazy! I’ve used and seen these in Japanese grocery stores my whole life and never known they had a proper name.

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俺なら君をここから出さないな。永遠に。

If it were up to me, I’d keep you here… for eternity.

If it weren’t for the pause, I think I might have translated this line as “If it were up to me, I’d never let you out of here.” However, I think I like that I was forced to work around the pause, because it made me think about how I could end the sentence with “eternity” while still phrasing it in a natural way. The Japanese version of the line works as a complete sentence without the last word addition, which I kind of wanted to keep in the translation (cause then the ETERNITY has more of a gut punch), but I think I did the best I could given the constraints.

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そうだ。僕が姫宮を守らなければ。僕なら姫宮を普通の女の子に戻すことができるんだ。他のやつに渡すわけいけない。たとえ、僕の王子様であろうと。

That's it. I have to protect her. I'm the only one who can help her get back to normal. I won't let anyone else take her. Not even my own prince.

I think it’s important with these lines to start to show how Utena’s well-intentioned chivalry is warping into something that resembles the attitudes of the student council. Here Utena is showing that they can be possessive like Saionji, self-important like Miki, and ruthless like Juri.

I love this, and Akio’s round up of the duels in the next episode makes me think about it more - I think that Revolutionary Girl Utena is all about competing 世界観 (views of the world). I like the duels as a metaphor for philosophical debates. In this episode, the negative influences of the other duelists’ worldviews on Utena’s naive and righteous view of the world starts to really show. I think that the text intentionally shows this change right before Utena’s first loss to signify that this change is a weakening, a corruption, and that their previous worldview was “better” (for lack of a better word).

This is a bit of a tangent but I also think that the times when Utena is led down paths of heteronormativity and normative forms of gender are when they are shown to be weakest in-universe. This episode is a perfect example. Utena commits to two normative ideas - 1. being heteronormatively enamoured with Touga, and 2. the idea that Anthy, a feminine girl, can’t do anything herself and needs a masculine hand to help her and protect her.

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Thanks as always to @dontbe-lasanya for their editing!

Follow the blog if you'd like to keep updated with new releases! All previous episodes are here:

[anhilliator1]

I feel like something needs to be stated about the four Chaos Gods -

THEY'RE NOT INHERENTLY EVIL.

They're unbalanced. Let me explain:

Khorne: Chaos God of War, Death, Violence, Rage, Murder, etc... Long story short, Khorne likes to kill things and/or see things die - "Khorne cares not from where the blood flows." As a result, it would be very easy to assume that he's pure evil - but no. Khorne also represents Justice, honor, courage, strength - Without Khorne, there would be no such thing as "Righteous Fury." Fighting for what is right technically falls under his domain as well. In a sense, he could be considered the Chaos God of Morality. In fact, he strongly dislikes underhanded tactics, hence why he often finds himself at odds with Tzeentch.

Nurgle: Chaos God of disease, decay, rot, stagnation, and so on. Nurgle is commonly associated with the color green, for good reason. As said, disease, death, rot, stagnation - but also resilience, rebirth, and consistency in everything. Technically speaking, he's the Chaos God of life and nature. No Nurgle, absolutely everything would be inconsistent. There would be no such thing as safety, because there would be no consistent definition of what "safe" is.

Tzeentch: CG of instability, inconsistency, trickery, manipulation, cunning, lies, deciet, and change. He plays you like a fiddle, and what you may think is reality may not be true. He's like Mysterio, but a gajillion times more powerful. However, he also represents hope, evolution, the ability to problem solve, and more. Tzeentch is the reason why Guile Heroes exist in 40K, and can be said to at least partially be empowered by the actions of people like Creed and Ciaphas Cain. As TTS puts it, "Without him, there would be no evil schemes, but also no one clever enough to save people from those schemes." Also, change isn't inherently evil - change is constantly happening, all the time, something that puts him at odds with Nurgle due to him being Stagnation. Funny thing, Happy Chaos from GGST can sort of be considered Tzeentch if he was more balanced rather than inclined evil.

Now, Slaanesh - Hedonism, sex, lust, pleasure, indulgence, suffering, etc... Hell, they were literally murder-fucked into existence by the Eldar. But, they also represent Passion, Joy, hell, maybe even the concept of emotion itself. Passion, it must be mentioned, is not restricted to the sexual kind - it's the creative kind, the "for-a-cause" kind - same with Pleasure. You gain pleasure from doing things you love, not inherently sexual - and technically, without Slaanesh, there would be no meaning to doing, well, anything - no happiness, no sadness so that happiness means anything, no enjoyment and no disgust, no love or hate... I think you get the idea.

The Chaos Gods represent important mental concepts inherent to all life, and all thoughts of said life - good or bad.

So why are they villains? As said, they're unbalanced, courtesy of the Necrontyr royally screwing things up by messing with the Great Old Ones and the C'Tan. As a result, the Warp, once peaceful, became a violent place roiling with negative energy, some of which became Daemons. This caused each of the four and their followers to become heavily inclined towards the worst parts of what they represent, why Khorne and his followers kill and destroy anything and everything in their path, why Tzeentch and his followers will endlessly lie, cheat, manipulate, and more to make you do what they want (prisoner's dilemma is the very tippy-top of the iceberg), why Nurgle and his followers spread filth, rot, and disease everywhere they go, and why Slaanesh and their followers endlessly rape and torture.

They're unbalanced.

In fact, everything I just said can sort of be summarized by this video:

It's why in the episode of TTS this is from, I noticed the Emperor's wording when he said he would DEFEAT Chaos, not Kill, DEFEAT. I always took it to mean that he would essentially force them to "get back to work" in a sense - go back to being balanced representations of their concepts and stop interfering so much with the Material.

[hestzhyen]

On Hakuri and 愛 (Pure Love)

Hello dear void. Here's a crazy character theory/interpretation for you: Sazanami Hakuri has no idea what love is supposed to feel like or be expressed as and it deeply affects his character to the point of being a major (and tragic) flaw. This is at least half the the reason why he's devoted to saving lives no matter the cost to himself, and he will continue to be this way until his lack of understanding is addressed and corrected. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Just kidding, of course there's a yapfest coming.

This was part of my usual weekly chapter rant until I realized it needed to be it's own thing. As to why I'm going on about this: blame the colour page. The captions get removed for the English publication, but there's always some text in the Japanese version. In this case, for our first-ever solo Hakuri colour page, we got: 胸に秘めたその信念- [mune ni hi meta sono shinen-; "The conviction(s) hidden in his heart..."] (My TL isn't perfect, but the sentence is simple enough that I'm confident I got it mostly right.)

Hidden, hm? Hakuri, the most zero-filter, living-in-the-moment, heart-on-his-sleeve guy in the Kagurabachi universe is hiding something? Of course he is! We just went through a whole arc about it!

The easiest conclusion to draw is that caption is talking about Ice Lady and/or the indoctrination he underwent growing up as a Sazanami.

He only mentioned Ice Lady as "someone who set [him] on the right path" to Chihiro in a flashback panel in chapter 34- no one in the cast except Hakuri knows what happened with her. He keeps her memory close but hidden from the world. Her suicide drives him to be a savior regardless of the cost to himself; he'll never let another life slip through his hands again even if he can't or won't talk about her. She's definitely his reason to exist as he is right now.

As for the indoctrination, growing up as a Sazanami means believing that you are a tool that lives for the Rakuzaichi. That sort of thinking is still present in Hakuri too- he just shifted the fervor from "honor the Rakuzaichi" to "make the world a safer place".

It's hard to say how much of his lineage he's hiding right now (if any at all) as of writing this, but Hakuri doesn't seem to be taking any precautions to keep people from finding out he's a Sazanami. He was even completely up front with Chihiro and Shiba about it and his family's mindset when they met! So he might not be cognizant himself about why he's so wholehearted in his devotion to a cause, but it's there in plain sight for anyone to remark on.

All that said, I'd like to posit that there's another 信念 -conviction or belief- that Hakuri's hiding- one that he's buried so deep that he doesn't realize it's even there, despite it being just as influential as Ice Lady. It's the depressing result of being raised as a "tool". Worse, a "useless" one.

Hakuri's deeply held belief in his own lack of worth is a key factor in his suicidal recklessness when it comes to acting on his other convictions.

"You poor thing. You're the one imprisoned in a cage."

It's all rooted in the Sazanami interpretation of "love", of course. Hakuri's warped view of affection is a key factor in why he's so goddamn reckless. He rejected the way his family viewed and treated other people like Ice Lady, but he hasn't spared any of that righteous anger for himself. He completely accepted how his family treated him and still holds the same mindset towards himself, whether he acknowledges it or not.

Because this is not something someone just shrugs off after an arc (not with a competent writer, anyway):

Most people would not frame this kind of blatant abuse as "love" in any way, shape, or form. And yet...

"When push comes to shove, Chihiro will abandon you!! He'll put himself first! But I'm not like him! I love you unconditionally..."

"Because... you always loved me..."

Hakuri and Soya both recognize Soya's feelings for Hakuri as not just any love, but as the deepest, purest love there is: 愛 [ai]. It's a horrific interpretation of something that's supposed to be almost unspeakably precious, but that's what the arc built the Sazanami clan's whole identity as villains around. It took key aspects of Chihiro's character -specifically his father's love and legacy- and warped them into something toxic to be put down through Hakuri.

*----------------------------------------------------------------------------* Before the panic sets in, I wanna say that ai is neither inherently nor exclusively romantic- that's 恋 [koi].

Mutual feeings of ai are the end-goal of many a romance story, yes. Everything builds up to that climactic declaration of 愛してる [aishiteru, "I love you"]. But ai can also be felt for family, friends, and even pets. It's for anyone the person builds up a profound enough affection for.

So Hakuri and Soya using ai to describe Soya's feelings isn't meant to imply romantic intentions (though I understand why some people ran with that interpretation). Actually, I will vehemently argue the opinion that these two using it at all means neither of them have a single clue as to what ai is supposed to look or feel like in any context. *----------------------------------------------------------------------------*

There's a reason Hakuri bitterly acknowledges Soya's abuse towards him as ai. It's the same reason Soya framed his abuse as acts of ai in the first place. It's not valid as justification, but it's understandable: they just don't know any better.

Kyora: "...Hey now, don't you love me?" Hakuri: "...? We love you." Tenri: "Of course we do."

There are multiple words for "love" in Japanese, but ai is supposed to be the deepest, sincerest, most profound and unselfish type of love there is. Ai is merely an imperfect term for an affectionate sentiment beyond words. If you have to clarify or explain your feelings as "ai", then they might not be ai in the first place.

Kyora throws around ai as something that can be used or withheld for any reason at all. Someone who truly felt ai for their kids would never do such a thing, much less consider it! But the Sazanami mindset corrupts even the concept of pure love and all of them are worse off for it.

So Hakuri only knows this ultimate form of love as abuse and manipulation. He believes that it's something conditional. Something painful.

Something he's not worthy of if it's positive, but earns if it's negative.

Any scrap of it he could get.

Contradictory and illogical? Yes. But if you understand why someone can wholeheartedly believe in that, I've got a hug or a fist bump or whatever you're comfortable with waiting for you.

Hakuri never talked about how far Soya -the manifestation of everything that was fucked up with his family- went to dehumanize him. Shiba and Chihiro got the "it wasn't so bad" version of the abuse. Just the beatings, no mention of the Visual Metaphor Tools he's still got hidden inside his storehouse. No talks about how he craved love with every fiber of his being but was tortured in the name of it over and over for years. No forced recognition that what was done to him would not be considered an act of love by any sane, rational human being.

The closest Hakuri's ever come to acknowledging that this might be an issue for him was when he asked to join Chihiro:

Taking the first step.

He's here for Ice Lady and to see if he can find out what Chihiro saw in him that made Enten a worthy trade for his "worthless", "useless" life. He's trying to understand why Chihiro regards him so highly as an "equal" as much as he's trying to be a savior. Both of these reasons drive him. But he only flashes back to one for motivation. He'd really rather not think about the other one (and hasn't outside of this moment).

No one alive knows what he truly endured and how it warped his perception of love and self-worth. He keeps his beliefs about his own worth hidden away in his storehouse as the peeler, wrench, chair, and more. Ice Lady had a glimpse, but he killed her with the loving Sazanami mindset that justified his own torture. He's carrying this burden alone and it's weighing on him and everything he's doing this arc.

So that's where we're at right now. Hakuri's reasons for acting the way he does are hidden alongside the beliefs about himself that he's yet to address, the combination of which is sending him into a self-destructive spiral. He won't be able to climb out of this mindset until someone can convince him that he's worthy of love just for existing- that ai is so much more than fists, metal rods, and calculated manipulation.

My hopes on how he learns this are obvious as a HakuHiro shipper, but I think it could easily come from everyone around him. Shiba, Char, Hinao, maybe Samura and Uruha and other characters we have yet to meet as well. All of them can help him let go of this hidden belief and replace it with something more wholesome. I just hope it happens before he loses something precious and irreplaceable.

[yuseirra]

Adding onto the theories I've written yesterday: I believe this is what's been happening with Ai and Kamiki.

Kamiki and Ai aren’t ordinary humans. They’re gods who need “love” to function properly.

Seeing how things play out, it seems like this explanation makes the most sense.

I can’t let go of the idea that Ai’s boyfriend used to be a really good person. Based on Ai’s reactions toward him and his behavior, it really does seem like he was someone with a naturally good personality. I’ve never been wrong about things like this, and it wasn’t just an act—he was genuinely that way by nature.

Anyway, Kamiki was someone who was good enough to “help Ai overcome her self-destructive tendencies” when they first met.

This also makes sense if we consider Kamiki as a reincarnation of the god Sarutahiko, as that god functions by guiding people in a better, righteous, and safe direction.

But while the two of them were getting along well, a series of misfortunes kept striking him, and his eyes turned completely black. That’s when he started clinging to Ai, asking if she loved him and if she wouldn’t leave him. When he didn’t get a definitive answer and Ai said she wasn’t sure, it seemed to be the turning point where his powers completely warped.

Kamiki has a deep craving for love, if you look closely. Ai does too, but she tries to fill it by giving love to others. Kamiki, on the other hand, has a tendency to give all of himself to others to receive love in return. Kamiki may have thought he could overcome anything as long as he could stay with Ai and rely on her. Together, they could be like a perpetual motion machine. But they both needed to be functioning properly. Ai wasn’t in the best state either, and with Kamiki’s eyes black at that time, it looks like he was already broken.

So, the god who once led people down the right, safe path twisted and took a darker turn. If the “god who loves humans” in Chapter 144 is Ai, then at that point, Kamiki became a “god who loves absurdity and irrationality.” This is the direct opposite of Sarutahiko’s original nature. At this point, it’s unlikely there’s another character that fits this role; if anyone does, it’s Kamiki.

There’s something his abuser told him when he was gaslit: “No one will ever love someone as empty as you.” So he asked Ai if she loved him but didn’t receive a positive answer. Even when they parted ways, he was told, “No one could love someone like you.”

The song lyrics’ *Lack of Ai* also reflect this; I think he may have needed to receive love in order to truly function as Sarutahiko no Okami. Without it, he remained “empty,” which is why his star eyes are black. In songs like *Mephisto* and *Fatal*, the narrator is described as being in a deeply hollow state, desperately searching for the one they love. This aligns with the narration in Chapter 160 that describes Kamiki as “someone searching for love.” Even as a child, he approached people and freely gave of himself, likely driven by instinct.

He was so happy when he met his true match, Ai (among all the characters, it’s rare to see a face as happy as his when he’s with Ai). But Ai lied, saying she didn’t love him, and then left. His powers twisted and began to manifest destructively, and at some point, he seems to have realized what he really was. I think the power of the black star does originate from him. He shared it with his daughter and son, and it did actually help them. But because it wasn’t coming from a well-functioning state, it seems like it destroys the soul. If you force a broken machine to keep running, it falls apart over time. That’s the mechanism I think is at play here.

In the end, Kamiki misses Ai and longs to see her again. Like in *Fatal*, he truly can’t live without Ai and needs her love. This has a double meaning because “Ai” also means “love”—this character, this god, can’t sustain himself without love. Without it, he can’t return to being a white star, which is why he needed Ai, who once gave him that love, in multiple senses.

Ai was able to maintain her white star thanks to the people around her who supported her. But ever since Ai’s death, it seems Kamiki stopped caring about everything else. He began collecting the love/Ai that lingered in the white star to fill himself up, to approach Ai, and ultimately to become her. When you look at the song lyrics and the peculiar motivations revealed in Chapter 161, this is the conclusion that makes the most sense to me.

[essaysbyciara]

what is a sacrifice? (let shit burn.)

i really wanted to keep this close to the vest but i'm tired. so if i put down my sword and surrender, then i hope this battle will end. likes, comments and reblogs are cool. you can read my other essayist stuff here. peace.

I talk often about placing men at the Creator’s feet and asking Her to fix them. Men don’t know how to advocate for themselves. Sexism is an eternal stain. I ask God to cover them because the pain resonates through the distance. I feel their heartbeat because it’s familiar. It palpitates from fear just like mine. We’re boxing with the same demons. I think that’s why gravity pulled some of these beings into my orbit. The worst feeling is loneliness. 

I’m reminded of what it means to be a disciple, to be a witness. Someone is always watching you. Someone is always looking at you to be an example of how to get through this thing called life. There’s this belief within my community that God puts you through things so others can see what it is that She does. You’re the sign and wonder. Relationship with Her clears a righteous path. Those who draw paths of confusion and deceit lack wisdom. 

How I got here is a testament to Her. She shows me that those idols called fear can’t do what She does. 

She is the Maker of all things. 

She’s also a reminder of the weakness of idols. She breathes, they don’t. She can destroy and rebuild. 

I live and breathe as the sheep of the Good Shepherd because of how lost I was until I was found. Even as I try to peel off the mark branded on me as one of those commissioned to do great things because it comes with a responsibility I’m not sure I can bear. 

I just want to be a normal girl. I want to be able to catch feelings and not have to reap for them. 

God doesn’t shame me for feelings. She certainly doesn’t shame me for wants and needs. She knows my heart and that I mean well. 

I just have to be smart about this shit. 

I know me. Infatuation is my middle name. I always fall for the idea of someone and whatever it is that they can give me. It's been a part of my personality since a man's touch made me feel a way. And held value. So in a season where value can be misplaced, you fall hard for the idea they can count you as something. That vaunted something that's been escaping you for years: to be seen. That's all it took.

I keep hearing Her: it's not a wrong thing, just a misplaced one.

I’m ready to be over it, the idea of whatever I want “it” to be. I wanted it to be the balm to heal unresolved trauma. For every boy that made fun of me, for every man that would rather hide the shame than acknowledge the desire. For every unrequited love and text not returned.  For every popular boy who paid me dust but swept me off of my feet in those stories I wrote to escape from what felt like a loveless world. Through all of this I felt like I was the weird girl holding on for dear life. I wore 'irrational' like a badge of honor. 

I told someone that if he liked me, then it would mean something. It would be the bruised heel to a snake’s head. It would heal all, redeem all that was lost. Death would be defeated. I’ve felt dead for quite some time. I don’t reach for intimacy and sensuality out of discipline but rather out of fear. The fear of not being good enough. I fear being the “worst mistake” he could have made. A fear of having to confront my past of searching out for love in places of ruin and paying a price for it. 

Redemption may just pass right over me and the blood plastered on the door frame is my own. 

But what kind of sacrifice is this? 

[mark-on-you]

there is a lot of heel turn 1 content on this blog and I feel like you are eager for someone to ask you what it means to you. so I will ask: what is it that you like about this song so very much? - @cryptic-symbols

Thank you so much for the ask!! I am, without a doubt, a "Beat The Champ" fan. I've been a fan of that album long before the wrestling-itis got a hold of me (and man, it's got me good). Heel Turn 2 is absolutely a stand out from the album, and while it is the more complete of the two, I love the unpolished Heel Turn 1 just as much.

As much as I do really want to talk about Heel Turn 1, I'm not exactly sure what to say about it. So, rambling will ensue.

The ushers and the guys who chuck the popcorn/They feel the rush of stillness in the air

Again, I adore the contrast of the mundane with the transcendent. Beat The Champ is mostly about guys trying to make a few bucks, to stay alive, and intersecting with greatness in the process. The change that is going to occur, the emotional shift, is so powerful that it can be felt from multiple feet away. But that doesn't negate the day to day grind, nor does such a seismic shift stop you from having to pay rent.

Starting on the periphery and then diving into the center of the ring is a really compelling aspect too. It feels like this emotional shift is a black hole, one that we can only comprehend by understanding everything it sucks into itself.

I'm not going to break it down line but line but I just love the phrasing of

I prop myself bolt upright on one hand

There's such a suddenness to the motion, but also a strength and surety. Not only is the change drastic, it's immediately both strong and sure. But also, it's only "on one hand", it's unbalanced, from one extreme to the other. So much is conveyed in so few words it rocks.

Work hard to be a hero all my life/ Always try to turn the other cheek

This line bring me back to one of my favorite goats motifs: being good and paying for it. "I am young and I am good", "try your whole life to be righteous and be good/wind up on your own floor choking on blood", etc. Tragic heroes just really do it for me idk what to tell you.

And, again to bring back the power of the mundane, all the examples of "goodness" are really basic, but in that way more "pure". It's so wholesome, the kind of thing that speaks directly to the morality of a child (but not in a bad way). It also speaks to the child's sense of justice that most people still carry with them.

Plus, it really emphasizes that good is a thing you do, not a thing you are. Which is, a very helpful phrase (that I am stealing from a 100 other ppl), when it comes to not thinking of yourself as evil. But also, when good is a thing you can do, evil becomes a thing you can do. And as such, it becomes REALLY easy to do. But once you turn that way, once you start down a path of destruction, it's going to be a lot harder to pull yourself out of it.

There's a real contrast here between the suddenness of the heel turn, and the imagined eventually face turn which means the long, ugly road of redemption.

I watch my guardian angel leave the building/ I am my only friend /One thing about the good guys that I've noticed /They always beg for mercy in the end

now that! is some just good song writing!!

I love so much about this. The idea of being past mercy, but also instead of turning your back on your better angels, they are simultaneously turning their back on you. It both gives a reason/a justifiable aspect to the turn (that goodness has turned its back on you) while also carrying intense bitterness and resentment for others. Being "right" but acting "wrong".

Further, the contrast of "only friend" to "good guys" re-enforces the idea that heels are alone while babyfaces are in amiable groups. (While this is not true, the feelings that define heel and babyface stables tend to follow a pretty basic evil/good split.)

And, of course, that final separation from the good guys. The realization that you were once of their kind, that good was once a thing you were, but is now just a thing you did. And to do evil can transform into the self perception of being evil.

The answer to this last line, the assumed ending where the main character does something vile and violent is missing from the song itself, but the song doesn't exist without that ending implication. Even if it wasn't called "heel turn 1", you'd know that the singer has come to some dark conclusion.

Anyway, these are only half-formed thoughts, because while I do love talking about my interests this blog is, at base, about me screaming incoherently.

[boyczar]

I am very sick of the notion that codependents are empathetic people. Codependents are extremely narcissistic in terms of their goals and behaviors. (Narcissistic, not saying they all have NPD, though some of them certainly do.) You are not an “empath”. You are not even in touch with your own feelings, you are simply hyper-vigilant, and often times your fight, flight, freeze, and especially fawn responses, are extremely off-putting and uncomfortable to even a slightly more well-adjusted person. I believe codependents and even Cluster B’s are capable of (total, not impaired) empathy, but only after reversing toxic patterns of relationship behavior. This, however, is in no way their FAULT. I would not say that being codependent or someone with any Cluster B personality disorder (who all have narcissistic traits) is in any way that person’s FAULT. But it unfortunately is their responsibility now. I do not view this relational style (of codependency or narcissistic) as unfixable or irreversible. I would argue that every single person who is codependent or has a Cluster B PD one hundred percent has C-PTSD. (There are people with C-PTSD who have done more healing work and do not fall into these categories but that’s not who I’m talking about.) If you are codependent or are in Cluster B, you have sustained significant trauma, most likely from your parents, and you now have a warped idea of healthy and acceptable communication. You most likely have sustained a thousand little cuts from them while growing up. Being belittled, shamed, degraded, devalued, discarded, threatened, ignored, neglected, silenced, and deemed completely unworthy of genuine love. That is unacceptable and even unforgivable in some cases. I would never condone that. I wish you healing forever.

But this trauma has created a shame core at the center of your self concept, causing you to set off on a lifelong journey to try to feel good about yourself, rather than actually give or receive love. I am sorry that this is harsh and blunt, I mean it with all compassion and understanding. I have been codependent myself and have struggled to be direct with people in the past out of fear and I became an enabler of some really terrible behavior. I was terrible myself. I was (unintentionally) manipulative, as are all codependents. I was selfish when I should have been brave enough to tell those around me what my intuition was warning me of (that we were all falling down a bad path.) I do not like who I was. It was not my fault but it is my responsibility to continue the forever journey of gathering self-awareness and growing. I am not done and I hope I never tire of learning how to be better. I hope you can take something away from this. I’m sorry I’m all over the place, I have a lot of thoughts and I’m over seeing codependent and narcissistic behavior continuing to be the norm. This is not from a self-righteous place, I most definitely have work to do, truly for the rest of my life, I just wanted to speak about the patterns I have noticed since starting to dismantle my own trauma and toxic patterning. I wish you all well.

[aikoiya]

My Thoughts on the Fierce Deity

I think I see the Fierce Deity as a god of war, battle strategy, wrath, retribution, protection, heroism, courage/bravery, balance, the wild, the truth, music, the forge, death, spirits, tutelaries (specifically kishin), psychopomps, & the moon.

And while not actively a god of food/cooking himself, they are things that he very much enjoys for himself, & as such, he is regularly associated with them regardless of the fact that he does not hold any power over those domains.

He's also a symbol of manhood. Specifically healthy masculinity even though, much like with food, he has no power over such a domain.

A dark god, but in the way that the moon is dark compared to the sun. How a clear, full moon night is dark compared to even stormy days.

A very kind & compassionate deity who loves deeply, but is also somber & melancholic due to the hardships he's had to endure. Is gentlemanly, chivalrous, & polite, if extremely quiet & outwardly phlegmatic or stoic. So much so that he is selectively mute. Even still, he is vicious, even monstrous & merciless, in battle. You wrong those under his protection, expect nature's fury to come down on you.

The fact that his mask is referred to in Japanese as the Kishin no Kamen (鬼神の仮面), which actually lends credence to this as, as I've seen discussed before, in Japanese folklore Kishin (鬼神) are referred to as wrathful deities or demon gods, but you have to remember that the Japanese concept of demon is entirely different from the western or Judeo-Christian concept of demons. In a lot of ways, demon is a mistranslation & a more accurate one would be fae or genii.

The closest parallel that the Japanese have to the Judeo-Christian concept of demons are Akuma (悪魔) meaning devil. This being due to the use of the Kanji for evil (悪). While Ma (魔) is translated into evil spirit or demon in English, I feel that that is due to a cultural bias more so than being an actual indication of the moral tendencies of said spirits. After all, if these spirits were already evil by default, then what point would there be in specifying that Akuma were evil? To make them seem doubly evil?

Rather, Kishin are more so Oni Kami or Ogre Gods. And despite there being many evil ogres in Japanese lore, there are also many benevolent ones. Kishin specifically are based on a type of Hindu god known as Pāla, a.k.a. Protectors, which are depicted as being wrathful & fierce, even being described as scary-looking, but also compassionate & benevolent at their cores. These deities are said to exact just & righteous vengeance on behalf of the practitioners of Buddhism & are known to destroy obstacles on the path to humanity's enlightenment.

Thus being figures of duality & healthy masculinity in a way. As a good man is one who is strong, but also gentle. Is innately dangerous & even scary at times, but knows where he needs to aim it. Has those primal urges, but controls them. Often tough & possibly even stoic, having to do what's difficult because it is right, as well as a distributor of tough love & corrective punishment. However, as a result of this, is often seen as the bad guy & demonized by the shortsighted because of it. I think the Fierce Deity is similar.

However, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that there are depictions of Kishin in which they are known to eat people. At the same time, I do not know the specificity behind this. For all I know, they may eat any person, or they could instead only eat the wicked. I do not know. It requires further research.

Though, per prompting, I may make it so they don't actually eat people, but more so the souls of the most wicked of sinners. This is done to fast-track to process of the soul forgetting its previous life. Now, normally, it's best to let souls do this organically, however it never a good idea to just let evil spirits wander around unsupervised, spreading their On'nen everywhere.

There's also how Majora's Mask seems to parallel Buddhism in many ways.

And, as I've come to understand, in Japan, one wears an oni mask to bring safety, peace, & to avoid disasters.

At least, that's the cultural significance as I've been told.

At the same time, I also see him having several things in common with the Norse god, Týr. Who is both a god of war, but also justice & is depicted as being self-sacrificial & brave as well as being known as a noble & just god by virtue of having sacrificed his own hand to Fenrir in order to hold off Ragnarök. Which would very much parallel my story for him.

Anyway, within Japanese myth, Kishin are minor deities. However, here, Sheikaku is sort of the King of Kishin (remember, Hyrule's religion isn't actually Buddhism or Shintoism, merely inspired by it), so you could call him the Daikishin even though I don't think there is such a thing in Japanese mythos. In this way, he more resembles a Dharma Pāla.

Moving on, notice that when he's called the "bad guy" in MM, it's done by Majora, who is portrayed as a kid who's forcing Link to play a twisted game with them. And kids often see the one who stops their fun as being "bad." Add to that, the fact that Majora is the one trying to literally kill everyone in Termina & calling itself the "good guy" while doing so, I'm just not inclined to believe it. Which considering the fact that those who do bad things often see those who try to stop them or punish them as being "bad," actually makes sense. In this way, if we continue with the child imagery, this would paint the Fierce Deity as the responsible father figure who comes in at the end of playtime to tell the kids to put their toys away. Though, only in a symbolic way.

The Gyorg Mask child even questions if doing the right thing actually makes everyone happy & the truth of the matter is that no, it doesn't. Not everyone's gonna be happy no matter what you do & that's just reality. And this, I think, is the Fierce Deity's true role in MM.

Anyway, I think FD's sacred animals would be dragons (Kirins especially), wolves, foxes, moths, & surprisingly rabbits, but he is also heavily associated with hawks, horses, & bucks. And that he was associated with music (specifically wind & string instruments) & nature/the wild which I think would be due to his less hectic childhood where he'd been a boy with a heart of gold & love of such things even if he could also be a bit mischievous at times, maybe a bit shy too. Back then, he'd been far more open, social, & outgoing than he is now. Some of his favorite pastimes are fishing & whittling since he was a little boy as it reminds him of hunting trips with his father, Hebrogar (who is an oc of mine), & his sister, Karina (another oc of mine). Has also always been extremely good with animals.

Interesting thing, he actually had the singing voice of an angel, but initially he was too shy, then later was too traumatized. As such, he mostly utilized his music magic through instruments. Despite this, the voice is the most powerful musical medium as it simply connects with the soul on a more intimate frequency than physical instruments can.

Another interesting thing being a connection to Farore based on this one fanfic I read that was really good! In it, he was Farore's son, so he'll be similar here.

The thing is, the core of the Fierce Deity is that no one told him to pick up the sword. No one pushed him into it. Instead, he chose to of his own accord when he realized that simply talking to the people who wanted to hurt those he was tasked with protecting would end in his wards being hurt or even killed. Thus began his journey to become a protector of Hyruleans & an avenger of wrongs.

As a man, he became known for using instruments to sooth the souls of the departed with the Song of Healing which he wrote & shepherded them off to the Realms Beyond Death in a manner similar to a pied piper. On occasion, he'd also have to fight them (namely the Poe enemies) to calm them down before sending them on.

Thus, making him somewhat analogous to the Dharma Pāla, Yama, the Hindu god of death & judge of the dead who presides over the cycle of the afterlife.

If so, then this might explain why Link is always able to see & interact with the spirits of the departed in one way or another. Why he can see the Poes. Why he can see the Shadow Soldiers upon the rock stacks in the Depths when no one else can. He's fulfilling his own bygone task from millennia gone by.

Fierce's magical elements are Twilight (which can be broken up into both Light & Shadow), as well as Spirit, Wind, Nature/Wild, & even Ice to a degree. He also has a natural inclination towards Music magic due to being a god of music.

I also subscribe to the theory that just like Zelda is the mortal reincarnation of Hylia & Ganondorf is the mortal incarnation of The Bringer of Demise's hatred, I believe that Link is the mortal reincarnation of the Fierce Deity & I'd like to know the story that led to him becoming mortal.

My guess is that he held off Demise while Hylia created the Goddess Sword, but was fatally injured in the process. At which point, rather than leave Hylia to fight Demise on her own, he chose to relinquish his godhood in death so that he'd be reborn as a human & be able to use the Triforce to save Hyrule from The Bringer of Demise. As only non-deities can use it.

At the same time, I see the Bargainer's Statues as being very early depictions of the Fierce Deity that act as "bunshin" for him in the same way that the Goddess Statues act as "bunshin" for Hylia.

However, as a result, this would mean that the Fierce Deity might've had 4 eyes in a similar way to how Rainbow Quartz from Steven Universe had 4 eyes. Which I'm very cool with!

I get the idea that, physical attribute-wise, his true form likely had a similar appearance to Sesshoumaru from Inuyasha, but with different facial markings, 4 eyes, & darker, more tanned skin resembling Impa's from Skyward Sword. Not to mention different clothes. Possibly with a look like a mix of what we associate the Fierce Deity with, but with a Depths Set script, & made to look like the armor of a Sheikah samurai of sorts, maybe with elements of the Mystic set, the Double Helix Sword acting as a Zanbatō.

I also think that he was, at least physically, more similar to TP Link in that he actually had some damn muscles on him & was specifically a hunk, not a twink nor even a twunk. A hunk. Not, like, Ganondorf levels of hunk, rather being more slim or compact in build, but still very muscular.

Anyway, "bunshin" are, again, something based on Japanese folklore. Though, I've heard it be described 2 ways: Bunshin & Bunrei. The first is the one that I'm going with, which is where deities are able to split themselves up into "bunshin" which are sort of regional versions of the 'source' god that govern over specific domains. Think Kage Bunshin from Naruto. Only one is real, but the others are able to accomplish tasks given to them by their source & have a much more limited well of power than the original.

The other, Bunrei, described thr Shintoist concept, process, & spirit produced as a result of said process. In which, theologically speaking, the Kami isn't supposed to be decreased in any way by the act, even functioning the same. It is specifically compared to the act of using a candle to light another candle.

However, I am personally gonna be taking a couple of creative liberties in certain instances & this happens to be one of them. If this were the case in my hc, then I'd have to get a bit more convoluted with things than I'd personally prefer. As such, I'm instead making it more similarly to the Kage Bunshin technique from Naruto. Which I've already gone into above. If this upsets anyone, my apologies, but I wanted to be upfront about the tweaks that I'm making.

Anyway, in this way, even though Hylia & the Fierce Deity themselves have both been reincarnated several times over, their bunshin still exist & are able to watch over Hyrule & the Depths via their statues. Thus, in a way, the statues' bunshin are like siblings to each other & the source god their parent in an abstract sense.

I also theorize that the Fierce Deity created the Sheikah in a similar way to how Hylia created the Hylians. Thus if the naming conventions hold, his true name would start with, or at least have, the word "Shei" or "Sheik" in it. I'm thinking of going with Sheikaku.

The Sheikah & Hylians having come forth from the union between the Fierce Deity & Hylia. Not as actual blood offspring, but as their spiritual children in a sense. The Sheikah actually came about first, then when the first Hylians came to be, the Fierce Deity instructed the Sheikah to always watch over their younger siblings as that is the duty that comes with being the eldest. As such, the truth is that the Sheikah weren't simply supposed to protect only the Royal Family, but the Hylians as a whole.

Similarly, Hylia is based on the Greek term Hylia presina meaning "sunny green" & is likely the ancient Hyrulean word for the sun as well. In this way, if the naming conventions do follow through, then I also think that "Shei" would be the ancient Hyrulean or Sheikan word for moon. Which would make sense because I see the Fierce Deity as having connections to the moon.

Also, the symbols on the Depths Set & the Dark Clumps are ancient Sheikah script. Those who were tasked with not only bringing spirits (non-combative poes) to the Bargainer Statues, but also fighting the Poe enemies on the Surface after the Fierce Deity gave up his immortality, were the Sheikah.

---

Something else I read somewhere that I quite liked was, "The never-ending battle between Zelda/Hylia and Ganondorf/Demise represents Chaos. Link brings order and balance to this conflict every time."

---

Either way, I'd love it if LoZ had more lore for him or made him a major focus of a game's plot.

At the same time, I wonder why there isn't anymore talk of the 3 golden goddesses? They used to be the main goddesses that people in Hyrule talked about. Now, it's all about Hylia & I wonder when this changed & why.

LoZ Cultural Masterlist

[danses-with-dogmeat]

🐍🐕 Joshua Graham for “I should have never trusted you.”? I love your work

"Wait I messed up the angst thing is deathclaw, sorry I did not look close enough for the Joshua Graham one 😩"

FINALLY I get to be mean to this awful man, omg.

Okay, sorry, had to get that out. No, but I think Joshua is an endlessly interesting character to explore, but... yeah, not the most morally correct of fellows, so it's nice to be able to call him on it 😅

But anyways, I hope you like it!

"I was wrong about you." Six said hollowly, their eyes distant as they peered down into the sand.

"Six..." Joshua's smooth timbre, muffled slightly by the linen cloth that shielded his features, passed over their ears. It was as soothing as the day they'd met him.

The day where he began to convince them of his righteousness, the justness of his cause, how far he'd come in his own personal journey towards the light. It all was the reason he was living, when anyone else would have perished, the reason for leaving the Legion, it was the purpose he was meant for. How could the courier have denied him? When the evidence was burned upon his flesh for anyone with eyes to see, or with hands to feel.

A missionary, bringing the glory of his beliefs to the indecisive tribals of the surrounding lands beyond New Canaan.

He was doing them a favor.

Saving them from themselves, from their sinful, heathen ways.

How could I have been so blind?

The courier's head shook, still in disbelief at their own ignorance.

"You never changed. You just... Don't have the Legion behind you anymore, but you're doing the same shit that began it."

"You're wrong." His voice was low now, dangerous, filled with the same cool fury they saw flashing in his stark, blue eyes. "Sallow would never be able--"

"Caesar and you are the same." They interrupted with a groan, "You both started the practices that became the Legion together. The violence, the disrespect for anything that doesn't resemble your ideal culture, imposing your ideas onto anyone misfortunate enough to align with the paths you've mapped across the Mojave. Using them to your advantage with no consideration of what is truly best for them, for their people."

"We've done more for the tribals of these lands than you could've ever imagined. Their lives were chaos, they were devoid of meaning, bleeding sin and uncertainty. I'm providing them with a path. A road to the righteousness that--"

"Oh, bullshit! That's your own perspective talking, Joshua. Did any one of them actually consent to your manipulation? To taking your beliefs as their own? To their wives becoming slaves? Their sons becoming soldiers? Their men being forced to fight for you or die?"

The former Legate bared his teeth below his bandages, his scowl scrunching the space between his eyes in a vicious snarl.

"That was the Legion. Alone, I have made no such threats, taken no such action. I've only provided opportunity."

"Only because you don't have the manpower. What happens when you gain followers once more? When the Dead Horses rally behind you, as they've already started doing? Just like the Blackfoots once did with you and Caesar. Then whose to stop them, to stop you? When the pillaging and raping and forced assimilations all begin anew in the name of some righteous being that they may or may not even believe exists?"

Joshua recoiled at the vision they painted for him, at the future they saw for him, the one he'd have died getting away from if the Lord hadn't spared him for this new purpose.

How could they not see it his way?

The glory and mercy of God saved me from a cruel and terrible fate. Do they not see that that is exactly what I want for the tribals? The Dead Horses welcomed me, and provided an answer to the violence that took place in New Canaan. How could I not take advantage of this opportunity the Lord so plainly provided me with?

He saw nothing wrong with his plans. He would gift the Dead Horses with the glory of his God, with the knowledge to save them from the fiery pit of hell in the afterlife. He would bring them to righteousness, to understand that their way of life is wrong and wretched by comparison, that suffering in the next life is inevitable if they do not follow his teachings and do as he bids them.

He would save them, as God once spared his wretched life.

And in return, they would help him avenge the deaths of the good people of New Canaan.

A small favor for what they receive in return.

His work is anything but the selfish conquering the Legion has practiced since they lost their way, all those years ago.

"If you do not see the reason behind my actions," He began, trying in vain to keep his voice level, "Knowing my past and my story, knowing full-well what God's grace is capable of, then I cannot help you."

Six sighed then, and Joshua's eyes narrowed in expectation.

"I never should have sought you out." They whispered, shaking their head as they spoke, "Never should have trusted you. I should have known that anyone responsible for the horrors that the Legion has wrought all across the Mojave and beyond would never truly change."

"The fact that you do not believe I have changed only proves your ignorance. You did not know the man I was before..."

"But I did."

Joshua's brows furrowed, his covered lips poised for a searing response.

"Maybe not personally," They continued, "but you told me everything about yourself. The monster you once were, how much better you are now, but if that's true... I can't imagine how horrid you must have been, how truly delusional... to be able watch everything, to participate in everything the Legion has done."

"Then you must not have been listening." He spat the words, as though it pained him when they left his throat.

"Still, then..." Six's voice was calmer now, the initial venom sucked out by Joshua's admittance, "With everything you've done, everything you have and haven't admitted to when you were in the Legion, do you really think... that you deserve a second chance?"

Now Joshua sighed, suddenly looking so tired at the thought of defending himself and his actions of his own accord.

"Who am I to argue with my creator?" He asked them simply, "And who are you to question the will of God the Almighty?"

Six's brows hardened over their eyes as they firmly held his gaze.

"Someone who thinks, no matter what your God says, that no man who is comparable to Caesar should ever get a second chance."

Joshua surprised them as a noise akin to a slight chuckle sounded through his wrappings.

"To that, courier, I say it is only righteous to hate the sin, but to still love the sinner. For, if I am able to do so, even after all that Sallow has done to myself personally, is that not worth something in your eyes?"

[attorneys-against-court-violence]

Pardon me while I expell some Dual Destinies thoughts. Not kind ones this time but that's okay. Gotta fill the old complaint box every once in a while! If I wanted to insult something I'd make that crystal-clear, but that's not the intention. Hope that comes across here.

So... Bobby Fulbright. Fool Bright. Robert Maximum Luminosity. Booby Fulltits, if you will.

Here you have the potential development of a detective devoted to justice but learning that his methods could stand to be more humane. His actions are reasonable but have lead to more harm than good to his prosecutor. Justice isn't just about making people fall in-line or mindlessly following what is seen as right and failing to realise that has lead to the potential doom of his newfound friends. We would realise that - under trying times and having the right buttons pushed - a paragon of good can be truly monstrous. The paragon himself will be forced to either change their ways for the better, or go down as the villain he has become. Because he's not a super-hero. He's as human as the rest of us...

...or that goodness could be a facade. A front to hide the fact that the detective never cared if he was "good", traditionally speaking - only that he could justify his actions under hollow rhetorics and super-hero theatrics. That he feels completely in the right because his position allows him to enforce what is right and wrong unto others. He has no emotional attachment to doing "good" by others, so why should he care? Maybe it's not even a facade. Maybe he genuinely believes he's good by his own standards. A living lesson that you shouldn't trust someone purely off the image they wish to project of themselves, and rather by their verifiable action. Faith without doubt is blind, and can lead you to trust those without your best interests in mind...

...or we can have ghosts. You guys like ghosts right? Yeah, everyone loves things that can't be proven! Especially me. Love it!

If you hadn't guessed I've had Phanty on the brain for a while now. And I think the ideas that he presents regarding Bobby Fulbright - who he could have been as a person and how he could change or change the people around him, the false persona of a righteous champion of justice - hit me a lot harder than the spectre himself ever did. Why was I so invested in Bobby being a bastard, but completely deflated when the phantom revealed he was nothing at all? This why. Actively telling the audience that the main villain of your story is as deep as a dry puddle after getting me invested in all those ideas took me all the way out.

I'll concede those ideas are still present. Bobby could have been as good or terrible as the phantom portrayed. But that's besides the point for me. For me, it came off as an excuse for a villain to be and do anything. He's the phantom! He can be whatever the writers want him to be because he literally has no personality! We even actively detached him from the last personality we gave him by saying he isn't even that person! In fact, that person was dead the whole time! They can both be whatever you want! The things Phanty brings to the table - the false persona giving way to a man with no emotional attachments, running away from himself because confronting his true self would mean death from within and without - are interesting ideas, but by then it's too late for me to really sink my teeth into them before he's gone.

The phantom COULD have been a bastard who genuinely thought he was doing the right thing. He COULD have been using a cheesey comic book-level persona as a projection of his thoroughly twisted ideas of what's right. It COULD have been that he slipped into the role so easily because it's not too far from where he started; someone who wanted to do the right thing by his home country, but made to repress who he really is in order to do terrible things, eventually internalising that has the righteous path. "Whatever I say is just, is just!" But I don't get the impression that that's what Dual Destinies - as written - was going for. They wanted a twist villain and did so by any means necessary without considering the implications or potential such a twist could have. Bobby exists because we need a dopey, likeable character to backstab us at the end. The phantom is a non-entity because it gives the writers a blank cheque to do anything and have it make sense without needing to give it any more thought.

There's a bit of advice in theatre that you shouldn't play a character as bored because you'd just be boring to watch. Similarly, I don't think you should write a character to be a hollow husk from the outset. People are just going to see it for what it is; a husk. The phantom's actions can contradict that all they want, the audience has already decided you want him to be seen like that. No take-backs on that decision. This one's on you, chief.

...or maybe I'm too invested in a villain from a series that, with occassional exception, does not have the most deep and fascinating final bosses in terms of writing. The person matters a lot less than the impact they leave, the concepts that they embody. It's just particularly insulting that a potentially interesting character is thrown to the wayside in favour of an easy out.

I can rattle off the first few paragraphs and even the a couple paragraphs earlier all I want but damn if Dual Destinies actually goes anywhere with it. Ya know?

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

“Back to December” is such a bittersweet song, but I think in light of everything we know now, the post-Dear John, WCS, I Can See You of it all, there’s something even more poignant about it.

On the surface, it’s an apology to a boy whose heart she broke because she just didn’t love him enough at the time, and how much she misses these very innocent things about him — his sweet smile, his tan skin lol that line always makes me laugh though, his uncomplicated love. It’s a romance that’s painted with summer sunshine and easy affection.

But as we know with later songs, at this point it wasn’t enough. She was tempted by the “forbidden fruit,” the thrill of the chase, the furtive glances and electric touch (lol sorry) of someone else and followed the path to desire. (OK that feels a little gross to type out, but you know what I mean.)

And as we also know, that experience, that fall from grace as it were, is one of the single most traumatizing experiences of her life. The god’s honest truth is that the pain was heaven, maybe, but it came at the cost of the very person she thought she was, and is something she’s been trying to rebuild over and over again ever since.

Which is why “Back to December” is so sad to me, taken in that context. It’s like she’s not just wistful for a sweet relationship that fizzled and the boy she left behind; she’s yearning for the very idea of what that relationship represented. The summer car rides, the laughs, the earnestness of their youth. She wants her girlhood back and this is the last moment she had it in her reaches before it was taken from her before she was ready.

And then the cold came, the dark days

When fear crept into my mind

You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

In the context of the songs that came in years to follow, we know those dark days are not just from their breakup; someone made her days very, very dark, and she’s replaying the moment before that penny dropped.

But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right

Sure, the song is about making amends to the boy for breaking his heart, wishing she could get a do-over, but given how these themes are explored afterwards, it feels like it means more than that. Because after this point in time, she knows exactly how it feels not to be loved right, and she’s desperate to go back to a time when her world made sense.

I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind —> And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said, "Run as fast as you can" —> I regret you all the time

It’s just a constant loop of, this is the moment everything changed, and this is the last time I felt safe.

And then the last thing that just kind of clicked for me, is the recurring theme of reliving a moment over and over again and being unable to let it go. In Back to December, she’s replaying the moment she let him go, but again in light of what we know now, I don’t think it’s a reach to relate to the other closely related memories she relives in spite of herself. There are other examples of the theme of memories in her discography I’m sure, but this is obviously the one that sticks out in this discussion:

I go back to December all the time —> Memories feel like weapons —> The tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind

Sure I may be seeing things where there are none, but to me, underneath the puppy-love surface of “Back to December” are the seeds of trauma at work, yearning to return to a time before it happened and staying on the same “righteous” course with the right boy, the right behaviour, the right responses. She may not have the words to voice them at the time, but the feeling permeates all of her writing. Speak Now the album(s) is all about the things she wished she’d said or done in the moment, and this right here is one of the most poignant ones for so many reasons.

TL;DR: apologies to the boy in question, but it isn’t just about you.