#i love that robin found the most insane man and married him

[beedreamscape]

I love how he doesn't question our presence out here without any protection at all. Just an 'oops don't mind me in hazmat suit'

[hemoplagued]

Given the insanity status, how does he live his everyday? Can you give us a walkthrough of what a standard day is like?

The daily life of Vladimir would be sleeping most of the time. He’s a shut in spare for parties he throws, although in regards of the people he invites it’s more of a social play rather than him giving a single damn about them or Noxus. He does his best to portray a person to the best of his ability. Remember, he’s practically a darkin in a human meatsuit - god forbid he lets anyone who will survive an encounter know of this.

One of the many things he spends doing is paperwork, it’s mundane but he does his best to stay on top of laws and news. Along with proclamations and paying off the people he has under his metaphorical wing. I say that because most people do not have a choice when it comes to negotiating with Vladimir, they seldom refuse an offer from him unless they want a death wish. Unless Vladmir for once is being kind, which is rare - since most of his interactions would conclude to him playing with people like they’re toys.

Continuing that - Vladimir views people as pawns. He’s never cared for humans nor does he consider himself one. The children he teaches hemomancy to are little puppets he’s picked up. He ‘cares’ for them, but most of the time the crimson court consists of him and then his thralls. Thralls, are humans that hes pretty much drained - They are by all means ‘zombies’ of some kind that lack a will of their own. They’re usually people he’s stolen away at parties, someone who he’s deemed no one would miss. He’s usually correct on that part. They wait idly by for his command. Presented as butlers and maids who work and keep the manor maintained. Although at a flick of his hand they will go feral and attack whatever he wishes.

Regarding his insanity, he’s rather put together for someone who feels like there’s nail’s scratching at his brain constantly. The only time he has seen peace was recently when he married Robin ( @witchcraftandburialdirt ) He regards Robin as an equal, perhaps even more. Although their initial introduction to each other Vlad was content on killing him. But found fascination in why a talented and strange man was holed up alone in Ionia. He felt a reason to coexist back, each time Robin welcomed him regardless of Vlad was a familiar face or not. Vlad never really had to deal with his past actions, but after marrying Robin he found a reason to care for something. He’s now presented with many things that never really bothered him, such as the repercussions of the war and what he had funded. Despite his constant belief he isn’t a human, Vladmir is now reminded that during his marriage - under all of what he’s deemed inhumane - still remembers his human affections. He has humanity left in him, he regrets his choices, and shows remorse towards knowing that he had indirectly caused Robin harm at some point in time. Although he does not seek forgiveness from his husband, he amazingly, admits to his actions being wrong.

Another thing to note from Vladimir is that he is definitely prone to fits of rage. It’s the same blind rage that Brair is subjugated to, although Vladimir can do nothing to stop himself. He assumes this is from the darkin blood in his body. Or rather, the beast that he’s melded with trying to seek escape from lack of nutrition. Because of this, Vlad feeds regularly if not almost all the time. He does not put his mouth on anyone, however, and would rather drain their blood through other means. But this does not stop him from forcefully removing blood from a victim through their pores if he needs to. He loves the dramatics involved with it.

[katakurisgirl]

FUTURE WORKS 😜

BASICALLY THINGS YOU WILL SEE ON MY PAGE IN THE FUTURE 😘 (Yes, most of my writings are inspired by songs in my playlist.)

-SUCCUBUS/ INCUBUS! READER TRYING TO CONVINCE CHARACTERS TO LUST

-UNDERCOVER, AFAB READER! X ROBIN ; reader is undercover as a man in Dressrosa when she falls in love with Nico Robin, Scared that Robin doesn’t have a preference for women.

-“WE’LL MEET AGAIN.” MEETING AS DIFFERENT PEOPLE! ; Brook runs into the reader who looks just like her dead grandmother that he regrets never admitting feelings to.

-“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH US?” ; One piece characters react to you and them killing someone for the first time

-THE MOTHER I WANTED; Reader is a princess from a VERY powerful family that even the yonko’s fear. Readers mother is harsh to them all their life but reader finds comfort from Big mom and sees her as a mother figure.

-“YOU ARE A MONSTER FROM HELL!” ; reader is Vivi’s sister and goes to Impel down to curse out Crocodile, This is the same time as Luffy breaking in and he recruits her to fight in marineford. Crocodile ends up saving reader constantly but she is always shutting down his advances.

-THE OTHER WOMAN ; Reader is in deeply love with Doflamingo and would do anything for him but he could not care less about reader. Corazon deeply cares about reader though.

-HEART TO HEART ; As the Straw hats are leaving Whole cake island, Sanji goes to get reader from the crows nest only to find out that they had sacrificed their life so that the crew could leave Whole cake island.

-“ITS JUST LIKE SEEING HER FOR THE FIRST TIME AGAIN.” ; Law sees afab! Straw hat! reader in Punk Hazard when he hasn’t seen her since Sabaody two years ago.

-“SO YOU WANNA MARRY, Y/N?” ; Different characters reactions to meeting their fiancés extremely wealthy family for the first time, the family tried to intimidate them.

-“YOUR BEAUTY NEVER REALLY SCARED ME.” ; Reader lives in a village where everyone is very unattractive, reader was considered unattractive in her village because she was the only pretty one. Reader wears a paper bag over her head to hide her “unattractive” face. Characters react to seeing readers face. (Hope this makes sense somehow.)

-“NEVER EVER GETTING RID OF ME” ; Luffy isn’t leaving tailor! Reader alone until they joins his crew.

-“WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO YOU?” ; Reader is Kuina’s sister and blames Zoro for her death. Reader avoids talking to Zoro, he sees her in louge town and confronts her.

-“SMOKING CIGARETTES ON THE ROOF, YOU LOOK SO PRETTY AND I LOVE THIS VIEW.” ; reader can’t sleep after Enies lobby because they are scared that the government will try to steal Robin while they sleep. Robin can’t sleep either and the two enjoy each others presence on the roof.

-“THEY WERE BOTH FOUND DEAD… “SHE MUST HAVE BEEN OUT OF HER HEAD.” ; Robin smells a perfume that is similar to the one Nami would wear. Jimbei asks who Nami and Reader were, the archeologist explains how the two died. Yandere! Nami.

-GHOSTING ; Reader ate a devil fruit that killed her and made her into a ghost. Reader likes to mess with Straw hats but decides to move on to the after life when her crew gets bored of her and her antics.

-BEAUTY AND THE BEAST ; The Disney tale but Katakuri is the beast, Reader is belle, and Doflamingo is Gaston.

-SLIPPIN THROUGH MY FINGERS ; Reader looses her daughters life, different characters react as the other parent.

-“I CAN’T IGNORE YOU, DO ANYTHING FOR YOU” ; Eustass kid who is obsessed with his ghost gf that only appears at night, heavily inspired by ‘In my room by Insane clown Posse.’

-Characters react to you kissing them with your new lip stick.

-“HIDDEN IN THE SAND” ; Zoro and Reader get lost on an island and walk on the shore until they eventually find their ship.

-CHARACTERS THAT WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH A TRAVELING TRADER READER.

-READER WITH CHARACTERS THAT CONSTANTLY FAN GIRL OVER THEM.

-CHARACTERS REACTING TO STRAW HAT! READER BEING SOLD AT AN AUCTION IN SABAODY

-“I CAN STILL SMELL HER PERFUME.” ; Reader was a run away princess when she joined the straw hat pirates but after her mothers death, she has to leave the crew and step up to be queen. The crew misses the reader and the ship still smells like her perfume.

-CHARACTERS WITH AN S/O THAT ATE A ZOAN DEVIL FRUIT THAT MAKES THEM A DEMON

-LOVE GAME! ; An entertainer forces reader to play a love game with the monster trio, they must all answer readers questions but in the end up all getting into a fight. (The neden game inspired)

-“SEARCHING FOR A MAN ALL ACROSS JAPAN JUST TO FIND, TO FIND MY SAMURAI” ; Reader looking for their S/O in Wano.

-“IF I COULD TELL HER” ; Ace talking to Yamato about his crush on Whitebeards strong grand daughter.

-“ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SAY MY NAME” ; Beetlejuice/Demon! Doflamingo trying to manipulate reader.

-DIFFERENT CHARACTERS WITH A VAMPIRE S/O

-UNDERCOVER STRAW HAT! ; Reader comes to Dressrosa before the rest of the crew, Reader bumps into Bartolomeo who doesn’t recognize her as a straw hat because she is in disguise and he is very rude to her but he regrets it when he recognizes reader.

-STRAW HATS RECRUITING A TAILOR!! ; Straw hats come to an island to get a tailor for their crew, they meet the reader at a bar. The reader gets into trouble and the straw hats find out that reader is the islands best tailor and a total bad ass! Straw hats make reader join their crew.

-PRINCESS! READER WITH A LOT OF CONNECTIONS. ; Reader is daughter of the most powerful family in the world and has become friends with A LOT of princesses/princes/yonkos/kings/queens/warlords/ect.

-READER AND STRAWHATS WAKE UP AND THEY ARE SPLIT UP IN A WEIRD CAVE SYSTEM!! ; What it would be like if you woke up with different straw hats in a cave system that is set up with traps and different rooms.

-ROLLER COASTER ISLAND!! ; You and the straw hats arrive on a theme park island! Luffy sister! Reader.

-CHARACTERS HEARING READER LAUGH! ; Characters react to hearing Reader laugh for the first time, reader is insecure about their laugh.

-QUEEN OF THE DUEL!! ; Afab! Reader looses her tittle as “Queen of the duel” after loosing a duel. Reader has to kinda seduce the guy that beat her so she can prove he cheated. Sanji is a jelous little guy :)

-ONE PIECE CHARACTERS READING READERS DIARY!! ; Characters reaction to reading a seemingly innocent readers diary only to find out how big of a pervert they are.

-“THEN YOU WALKED IN AND MY HEART WENT BOOM!!” ; Royalty! Reader who’s family is hosting a ball and she can’t help but catch a crush on one of the guests.

-GUILTY, DAD! Eustass kid that got his son killed and reader has a hard time forgiving him.

-ONE PIECE CHARACTERS REACTION TO SEEING LITTLE KIDS DRESSED AS THEM FOR HALLOWEEN!

-SICK FOREVER! ; Yandere! Sanji that takes care of a sick reader until they get better, but he won’t let them leave after they get better. (Heavily inspired by the one episode of Human Resources 😭)

-CHARACTERS THAT ARE MORE RESERVED WITH A VERY COCKY AND FLIRTY READER

-RUN AWAY PRINCESS READER AND SHY KNIGHT KOBY THAT FOLLOWS HER EVERYWHERE

-CHARACTERS AS DEITIES CRUSHING ON DEITY READER

-ONE PIECE CHARACTERS WITH TALL WIFE READER

-NERDY ONE PIECE CHARACTERS AND NERDY READER

-TALL! DEMON QUEEN! AFAB READER! FLIRTING WITH ONE PIECE WOMEN

-DIFFERENT CHARACTERS REACTIONS TO HOW READER GOT A HIGH BOUNTY AT A YOUNG AGE

-DIFFERENT CHARACTERS AS DEMONS SEEING A HUMAN FOR THE FIRST TIME

-ENEMIES TO LOVERS WITH DIFFERENT ONE PIECE CHARACTERS

-CHARACTERS REACTION TO YOUR LAUGH SOUNDING LIKE A LAUGH FROM THEIR PAST.

-“THAT FUCKED UP GIRL” ; Basically Noel’s lament reader with a paper devil fruit bc I said so 😛

-REACTION TO ACCIDENTALLY BREAKING SOMETHING THAT BELONGS TO READER

-REACTION TO YOU LEAVING THE CREW

-CHARACTERS WITH AN S/O THAT DOESNT CARE ABOUT MONEY OR OBJECT VALUE

-CHARACTERS HAVING A CRUSH ON AN OLDER READER

-LAW MEETING CORAZONS STRAW HAT DAUGHTER

-BEING HANDCUFFED TO EACHOTHER

-ONE PIECE CHARACTERS WITH A READER THAT ACTS LIKE SANJI

-VILLIANS REACTION TO FLIRTING DURING A FIGHT

-VILLIANS REACTION TO LAUGHING AT THEM DURING A FIGHT

-VILLIANS REACTION TO YOU HAVING A SIMILAR BACKSTORY

-REACTION TO READER MAKING A BUNCH OF “THATS WHAT SHE SAID” JOKES

-KILLING READER THAT IS IN LOVE WITH THEM

-READER THAT MAKES THEIR S/O THINK THEY NEVER LOVED THEM

-READER REACTION TO SOMEONE DOWN TALKING THEIR SIBLING

-READER REACTION TO SIBLING ABOUT TO DIE

-READER ERASES EVERY MEMORY OF THEIRSELVES FROM THEIR SIBLINGS MEMORIES BEFORE THEY DIE

-ONE PIECE WOMEN CALLING READER ATTRACTIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT

-NIJI, ICHIJI, AND YONJI WITH A HOT HEADED S/O

-CAPTIVE! READER

-BLACK CAT OR GOLDEN RETRIEVER?

-FAKE DATING

-WHO FELL FIRST AND WHO FELL HARDER

-BEING ACADEMIC RIVALS WITH ONE PIECE CHARACTERS

-ONE PIECE CHARACTERS WITH AN S/O THAT HATES EVERYONE BUT THEM

-READER THAT IS A PICKY EATER

-GETTING STUCK WITH DIFFERENT ONE PIECE CHARACTERS

-🔞ONE PIECE CHARACTERS GETTING WET DREAMS ABOUT READER🔞

OKAY THOSE ARE JUST THE ONES IM WORKING ON RN, LMK WHICH ONES YOU GUYS WANNA SEE FIRST. FEEL FREE TO REQUEST AND TELL ME WHAT CHARACTERS YOU WANT TO SEE IN DIFFERENT SCENARIOS/PROMPTS/HEADCANNONS 😘🫶

[iamscoby]

DinLuke fic recs

Some fics that I love under the cut, aiming to prioritise especially those that you may not have found otherwise. Hope you enjoy as much as me! Special thanks to the wonderful authors 😘

Canonverse

Blaster Wedding [T], 3k words, by Esmethewitch I’d rec anything by Esmethewitch, but this was the one that struck me the most. In short, The Armorer slutshames Din into marrying the man who saw his face. Luke has no idea what's going on, but if he can help make Din less sad, he's in.

A more funny example from Esmethewitch that I’m still laughing at is Younglingz Bop [G], 2k words where Din gets introduced to parenting essentials such as haunting kids’ music

Mandalor’ika [E], 44k words, by FrenchLychee Luke experiments on Force-choking Din, and Din discovers that he likes it very, very much. The hottest ever fic ensues. It’s in French, but if you can’t read it, find a Google translator or something because it’s totally worth the effort!

Tribute [E], 2k words, by @materassassino (or pixie_rings) The Mand’alor and a Jedi emissary go at it on the throne. Hot and fun and awesome! Check out also Pixie’s other fics I don’t have space to mention here :)

I Saw Sparks (Sing It Out) [T], 6k words, by ApplepieandCinnamon Starts off insanely beautiful, then turns into the saddest of blows straight to the heart. Note the major character death warning and be ready for a good cry 😢

the perils of rain [T], 440 words, by @treescape Three words only: WORLD CLASS FLUFF!!!

Last to Know, First to Judge [G], 11k words, by @sushiburritonoms Just Han Solo being hilarious and very distrustful of his brother-in-law’s metal-covered boyfriend

ferned habitation [T], 6k words, by deniigiq Din + Luke + loth cats = guaranteed sweetness + laughs + depth + feels

-------

AU

Fever Dream [E], 82k words, by @purplesauris I’m currently rereading this and still can’t get enough. Grogu is freaking adorable in this. The slow growth of DinLuke affection makes me whole. Purely gorgeous farm AU :)

Check out also other parts of the series and associated fics like Fever Break [E], 10k words, by Ismene_Jane It’s hot perfection 🔥

Bright is the Moon, High in Starlight [T], 17k words, by @leorizanzel I love everything by @leorizanzel, this is just a recent example, a lovely Regency era AU, gorgeous writing, I’m still shivering happily when thinking about the first class love confessions here <3

Turn of the tides [M], 41k words Pirate AU Pirate AU Pirate AU! Do I need to say anything more? Maybe that it’s an excellent pirate AU! Luke is a Robin Hood -style pirate and Din works for the royal guard that’s after him.

[rose-stardew-imagines]

mayhaps soft married life headcanons? Just being married and all that cute stuff with maybe a kid or two and domestic stuff? Because I crave domestic stuff. I love your work and it's fine if you take long!

So...because this is primarily a seb blog as much as I try and incorporate other peeps, I'm going to assume you are talking about our emo frog loving boy. If you want this for a different bachelor/ette please let me know! I love this type of thing, so I'm really excited to write this! 💜💜

Sebastian Domestic/Married Headcanons!

When it comes to daily household management, Sebastian feels tries his hardest to help with as much as he can.

With farm work, he does a lot of the animal and building management work. He loves animals so much, and he has learned a lot of carpentry tips from his mom, so he helps with that a lot!

He really doesn't like waking up early in the morning, so best believe this boy is on coffee duty from 6-9. He keeps bringing out more mugs for you two, all prepped with any cream or sugar you want.

If you have chickens, you best believe this boy is gonna want void chickens, and once you get them....oh boy.

He names every single one and is obsessed. He gets so excited about them, it's so adorable.

This boy cooks a lotttttt.

He never used to, he always just ordered food from Gus or cooked some pre-made frozen food Robin got him from the store.

So when you two got together, he started cooking more, learning a ton of recipes he found online, and some of his mothers.

Best believe he makes a tonnn of pumpkin soup when fall and winter roll around.

He makes a lot of meals for you to come home to. He makes it all fancy and everything, candles, soft music, flowers...he's so romantic about it sometimes, it's really surprising.

You two do movie nights a lot. After long days of farm work or monster hunting, you two love to cuddle up and watch movies to wind down. He makes the couch all cozy with a ton of blankets, pillows, snacks, you name it while you wash up.

He gets way more excited about town festivals now that he has you to go with him. Especially the flower dance, he actually likes it now.

When you two have children, this man gets do excited and nervous at the same time. He spends a lot of time with you prepping the nursery, and their bedrooms as they grow up.

He is so protective. The last thing he wants is his child/ren getting hurt, so he can't help being a bit of a helicopter parent for a while.

So. Many. Frog. Plushies. And. Pj's. I swear, this boy gets so many adorable froggy onesies, blankets, and plushies.

Yalls children are so spoiled. He will give them anything they want, they get so many gifts for holidays and birthdays it's insane.

He does most of the homework help with them. Willing to tutor them in any school subject they are struggling with.

If the children like video games or board games, he has game nights with them a lot. Even making little mini-child version Solarian Chronicles campaigns for them.

Those movie date nights become family movie nights when you two have children and they grow up enough to actually like movies.

I know this was short but it's 2 am here! Honestly since I like this prompt so much, I might make another soon! So I hope you liked this, and thank you for your compliments :) you all are so sweet to me.

[fishyfletch]

Critical Role Characters and How I Think They'd Play SDV !!

• Jester Lavorre

- Spouse: Alex

- Mostly runs around collecting forageables

- LOVES interacting with NPCs!!

- She does not farm AT ALL. She plants seeds, yes, but forgets to water them.

- It takes her forever to make a character because she can't pick a hair style and clothes.

- She picked Alex because he's the most aesthetically pleasing to her.

- Picked the dog and named it after Nugget.

Beauregard Lionett

- Spouse: Originally gravitated towards Haley but ended up marrying Abi.

- Would convince you that she's been going to the mines and fighting monsters when in reality she just aggressively fishes the whole day.

- Ppl arounher would just see her angrily doing Something™ and just ??

- May or may not have broke the left click button and had to buy a new one.

- Thought Haley was really pretty but got pissed off when she actually got to her dialouge lmao.

- Noticed Abi was not-so-bad despite being Pierre's daughter.

- Has thought Robin and Caroline were bachelorettes at first and was pissed off they weren't.

Yasha Nydoorin

- Spouse: Penny

- Took forever to understabd the controls so she felt terrible when accidentally giving an NPC something they didn't like.

- "Beau, what's that sound mean?" "Why can't I break this?" Alot of those types of questions.

- May or may not have cried playing the game. Why? No one knows.

- Her farm has alot!!!! of flowers!!!!! alot!!!!

- She has a grey cat called Miso.

Nott the Brave

- Spouse: Married Sam accidentally.

- She didn't mean to get his hearts so high so she just went through with it and married him.

- Does way too much heckin chaotic things at first.

- Big panick in the mines, always has stairs with her.

- When she gets the option to have children she goess INSANE.

- MUST CLEAN. MUST PREPARE HOUSE. MUST MAKE MONEY.

- Looks at the town's trash every single day.

Caleb Widogast

- Spouse: Harvey

- Actually has the wiki open

- His main goal is to finish the community center

- Ends up passing out when he gets distracted

- Realizes that the local doctor was super husband material after a few passing outs

- Willingly goes to Harvey's clinic

- Emily reminded him of Jester so he debated on marrying her or Harvey

- His farm is actually goals

- Like this man's farm is practically from pinterest

- Got really excited when he found out about the wizards tower

- Frumpkin cat, obviously

Mollymauk Tealeaf

- Spouse: all of them !! he has the poly mod !!

- Collects ores and pretty stuff. Barely donates to the museum

- Hat mouse is his best friend!!

- His money is always 3 digits because of that.

- Really enjoys the festivals and would sometimes skip entire days to get to them

- Gives gifts to all his spouses!! Adores them all.

- He picked that one one light coloured funky dog, he named it Bread.

Caduceus Clay

- Spouse: None :)

- The only functional one.

- Focuses on farming more than anything else.

- Never forgets to give gifts to Linus, he thinks he's really wise.

- A bit confused at first and treated NPCs like actual people for majority of the time.

- Tried to make tea with the skeletons you find in artifact spots.

- His favourite NPCs are Caroline and Linus. He vibes with them.

Fjord Stone

- Spouse: Leah

- Man spends most of his time foraging and fishing on the beach.

- Doesn't really talk to other NPCs aside from Leah and Willy.

- Beach farm, beach farm, beach farm

I might add on this later on but for now here's this!!

[stardew-saloon]

Hello! I just discovered your page but I already love 🥺 for my ask, what do you think the bachelor(ettes) were like in their childhood and home life?

Hi !! Thanks for the ask :)) this is a bit of a long post sorry !!

My take on bachelor(ettes) as kiddos!

Alex

Alex was the definition of ADHD when he was a child. Always bouncing all over the place, hands always fidgeting with something or tossing a ball around with his dog at the time. He made the best out of the situation with his dad and tried to be there for his mom as much as possible, even when she was sick. He was a very sweet kid, the one that people would compliment for his good behavior. Unfortunately he didn’t get the best grades, but some tutoring from Penny helped him out greatly.

Elliott

I think Elliott grew up poor, with both of his parents working constantly. He had a few siblings that took care of him, but none of them harbored the same creative energy as he did. As he grew up, he tried to get them to enjoy things like reading or writing as much as him, but they never clicked. Elliott felt very alone growing up, which only continued into adulthood, until he moved to the valley.

Harvey

Harvey was such a nerd!!! And he still is!! If he weren’t such a Big Boy as a child (I swear he was like, 5’8 but the time he was 12) he would’ve been bullied a lot more. Harvey was incredibly smart and won all sorts of awards for it in school. He was very close to his parents, especially his dad. He had a few friends in school, mostly the other nerds. Harvey was reluctant to move away from home, but knew he had to so he could become a successful doctor.

Sam

Sam was just like Vincent when he was a kid. He was hyper and didn’t pay very close attention in school, but was insanely creative. The only difference was that Kent was still there. After Jodi had Vincent, it lead to her arguing with Kent and trying to get him to stay home. Sam spent a lot of time with the kid, keeping him distracted from the fighting. After his dad left, Sam was angry and distant for a while before he learned to accept it. He wanted to be happy for his little brother and show him that he can still be happy, even though their dad isn’t here.

Seb

Sebastian used to be rather extroverted as a kid, believe it or not. He and his parents lived in the city, in an apartment with a great view. His happy life fell apart when he was six. His parents went through a nasty divorce for reasons he was never sure of. He begged his mom to stay with his dad, but she moved them away to the valley with her new boyfriend. Seb hated Demetrius, but Robin stayed with him. They eventually got married and had a kid together. Seb became very withdrawn from everyone, until he met Sam. He misses his dad terribly, still not knowing why they separated since Robin refuses to talk about it. As for Maru, he never tried to get along with her, seeing as she was living proof that his dad doesn’t want to be with him anymore.

Shane

Shane had a not-so-great childhood. He was always quiet, never opening his mouth unless it was necessary. Somehow, he still got into trouble a lot, though it was always stupid reasons. His parents were divorced so he bounced back and forth between their houses, but they both moved constantly, like they were trying to get further and further away from each other. Shane eventually started to stay with his mother full time, since he preferred her over his dad. He moved away as soon as possible, living with two of his friends, the parents of Jas. He was still quiet, but now he was bitter and found it difficult to trust people.

Abby

Abigail was definitely a teacher’s pet in school. She was very well behaved and was always the top of her class. At home, she was very close to both of her parents, something that changed as she grew up. She started to become more rebellious once she realized how ridiculous her parent’s rules were, especially Pierre’s. Abigail dyed her hair purple without their permission to show that she was her own person now. Sam and Sebastian definitely encouraged it, egging her on to do more than just dyeing it.

Emily

Emily was a very outgoing person as a kid. She still is now, but you know what I mean. She was a bookworm and was so social, always involving everyone at school.l, even the introverted kids. Emily and Haley stayed with an their grandmother while their parents traveled halfway across the country. They visited every few months, but they were practically raised by their grandmother. She tried to involve Haley in her creative activities, but the only thing she picked up was photography, the only thing that Emily was bad at. So it worked out!

Haley

In her younger days, Haley was quiet, rarely saying a word to anyone that wasn’t family. She trailed behind Emily and followed her like a lost puppy at school. She didn’t have any friends for years, finding it hard to interact with others. Haley didn’t think there was anything she was good at, so it was hard to make friends. The first person she was ever friends with that wasn’t family was Alex, who brought her out of her shell. She became more extroverted and picked up more hobbies, like photography, something Emily taught her about.

Leah

Leah and her family are from the city, in one of the most urban areas. She never really liked where they live. Everyone in the city was loud and rude, but her parents didn’t seem to care very much. Ever since she was a kid, she’s wanted to move away, take a break from the city life. As for her performance in school, Leah did her best, but she struggled with classes like math and science. She did average, but that was fine with her.

Maru

As a child, Maru constantly tried to get closer to her brother. She thought the world of him, but he hated her. Her mother always said he would come around eventually, but he never did. Eventually, Maru stopped trying and focused on her studies. She excelled in everything. She was the top of her classes and liked to volunteer at the library sometimes. Sebastian avoided her in school and got mad whenever she tried to talk to him or his few friends. Still, she tried to ignore it, focusing on herself and the family members that wanted to see her.

Penny

Penny’s parents were close at some point. When Pam wasn’t drunk, she was fun to be around. Her father was a brilliant man, teaching her everything he knows about the world and filling her with curiosity. As Pam’s alcoholism got worse, Penny’s father left. Penny reclused further, relying on books to warrant off any feelings of sadness. Her first friend in the valley was Maru. The two of them bonded over feeling lonely. They became friends during their middle school years and have been besties since!

[agentrouka-blog]

Hi, I'm mostly new here but always have been intrigued with your Jonsa theories. New crackpot content I cooked up myself because I think you might actually appreciate it -

1) We all know Waymar Royce as Jon foreshadowing, but have we ever mentioned that House Royce is ALSO descended from a Stark woman - JOcelyn Stark, whose unnamed daughter I just found out also married a Waynwood. This means Sansa has been romantically linked to an additional two men besides Robin descended from a female relative of hers who in more or less broad terms could be considered cousins - Waymar, and Harry, whose grandmother is Anya Waynwood. What about Jon, huh...

2) I noticed a pattern in Arianne's canonical romances that might mirror and/or foreshadow both Jon and Sansa's. She expresses a crush on Oberyn, her uncle, (we won't be getting into the incredibly gross hypersexualisation here or how her issues with Doran affect this, but they exist of course) but this is incredibly unrequited (actually, theory 3 notes that literally every uncle/niece | aunt/nephew relationship is a complete disaster, which does not bode well for Jonerice) -> very unrequited Jonerice and Creepyfinger. Her intended first time was supposed to be a threesome with Tyene - her bastard COUSIN whom she stresses she thinks of as a SISTER - and some dude who fell asleep and prevented it from actually happening -> a third member of the love triangle (Daeny) sleeping forever (dying). Her actual first time happens with Daemon Sand, a bastard, around the same age Sansa will be when reuniting with Jon, in turn probably still disguised as Alayne. She can't marry him, not only because of his status, but also since she was betrothed to Viserys, an insane abusive pretender king -> Joffrey! Daenerys! Instead, Arianne will most likely marry her cousin Aegon - also related to her via his mother and her father, like Jon and Sansa, he probably will die, and she will then go on to claim her birthright as Dornish Princess, have Daemon legitimized and marry him -> marry a cousin and a bastard. Like, that's just a lot of coincidences, right?

3) Literally every relationship between someone and their parent's sibling('s spouse) is straight up horrendous and amongst the worst in ASOIAF:

- Rhaena and her half-uncle Maegor the Cruel, forcibly wedded after he usurped her husband and daughters and Aegon II. died.

- Rhaenyra and Daemon Targaryen, straight up grooming and him ditching her for a little girl in the middle of a war.

- we don't know about Serena Stark's and Sansa Stark's marriages to Edric and Jonnel "One-Eye" Stark, but it does reek of stealing the girls' birthright by wedding them themselves.

- Creepyfinger is technically Sansa's uncle by marriage to Lysa, and she in turn is technically Joffrey's aunt twice over through her marriage to Tyrion. Those two ought to be self-evident.

Frankly, only genuine sibling incest and father-daughter incest is described even more disturbingly, versus genuinely loving in-universe examples of cousin marriage exist.

Like damn, with that track record, how could anyone honestly think Jonerice is the big love story of ASOIAF´? Don't make me laugh.

Sorry this was very long, I wonder what you make of these!

Hello!

1) I did not know that. I love it!

2) Andrey Dalt of Lemonwood did NOT fall asleep!

She and Tyene had learned to read together, learned to ride together, learned to dance together. When they were ten Arianne had stolen a flagon of wine, and the two of them had gotten drunk together. They shared meals and beds and jewelry. They would have shared their first man as well, but Drey got too excited and spurted all over Tyene's fingers the moment she drew him from his breeches. Her hands are dangerous. The memory made her smile. (AFFC, The Princess in the Tower)

The whole “shared first man” thing actually makes me think of Joffrey and Littlefinger, placing Tyene firmly into a category with Margaeryn and Lysa, who both have “shared first man with a sibling” themes, along with sharing with Sansa if their husbands are to be believed. Tyene’s association with poison and the faith, the sharing of jewelry and wine, and her dangerous hands just confirm the whole connection to Littlefinger and the Tyrell’s, as well. Also, the “lemon wood”, which is my horrible read of the phallic Giant’s Lance lemon cake Littlefinger has made for Sansa. Something will go wrong there for Littlefinger (which is another phallic metaphor thanks to Myranda, baaaaaah.)

(Do we know if Tyene maybe was the one who betrayed Arianne?)

Really like the rest, though!

3) Couldn’t agree more.

Thank you for sharing!

[cultivating-wildflowers]

the moral of donkeyskin is the same as Cinderella duh. When you explained the tale you left out the part that the prince found donkeyskin in the woods while hunting and got her a job in his castle out of sympathy (he was nice to her before he found out she was beautiful). She also used all of her dresses on a ball to go with the prince. Donkeyskin was a lot smarter than Cinderella since she left the ring intentionally in the prince's soup to give him a chance to find her meanwhile Cinderella was ok returning to her shitty life and only lost her shoe accidentally. Donkeyskin was also smart for demanding the source of the king's income (the donkey) and essentially wrecked her would be abusers life while watching all this happening safely married in the wealthy neighbouring kingdom. In conclusion donkeyskin > ella

GUYS LOOK MY FIRST EVER ANON

Give me a sec while I catch my breath. Dude this is exciting hang on hang on.

Gonna just preface my answer with this: I didn't "leave out" anything. I literally checked wikipedia and a couple of other sources to get an overview of the basic story and went from there. As with any fairy tale, everyone puts their own spin on it. The versions I read said nothing about the prince finding Donkeyskin in the woods. Most of the classic Cinderella stories don't have her and the prince meet before the ball, either. That tends to be a modern addition. (Which is why I will always and forever love the live-action Cinderella remake even though I hate Disney with a burning passion.) Same goes for the ring-in-soup bit: sources disagree on if it was intentional or accidental. Either way it was risky because dude could have choked on that. And none of the (admittedly scant) sources I checked were clear on the dresses. No one could even agree on how they were made.

Ok now I lost my train of thought....

We'll come back to it because check this out. You know what's really really really weird? Literally today I gave up trying to read Deerskin by Robin McKinley (a dark retelling of Donkeyskin) because I did not read the content warnings and had no idea she was going to delve into the abuse side of things. I've heard that for the most part she handles it well (setting aside the magical-regaining-of-virginity bit, which I do not support), but I couldn't handle it, especially when I wasn't prepared. Props to McKinley for adding some depth to a frankly wild and bizarre classic fairy tale.

But yeah. Weirdest coincidence, I kid you not. What are the odds?

Getting back on track. (I apologize that it’s not at all coherent.)

1. Don't come for Cinderella like that. It's hardly fair trying to make your point by tearing down another classic story and another heroine who suffers abuse and manages to break free. She had agency, too. (And a smarter fairy godmother if it comes down to that.)

And this is vital: the morals of both stories (Cinderella and Donkeyskin) are vague at best. Old stories like these weren't framed in modern views of abuse and feminism, to say nothing of things like incest. We can't only look at the modern adaptations that do things like having the girl and her prince have some sort of mutual respect and trust before the ball (or the soup dinner).

2. I don’t know where you get off thinking Donkeyskin was smarter than Cinderella. They’re two completely different characters. Cinderella still had a loyalty to her home and her people, however cruel they might be to her. She wasn’t a princess. She didn’t have a trunk full of rich magical dresses to aid her in her escape. All she wanted was one night (or three) of freedom from her life. Donkeyskin ended up going and working in a kitchen and still getting verbally abused by other people who didn’t “get” her. Again, I am asking you to please examine each of these stories in their original context. Girls couldn’t all just up and walk away from bad situations because they were unhappy. I’m sorry. In the end they both needed a prince to reach out and remind them of their worth (and also, like, offer them marriage to pull them out of their old lives).

Take it in context, I am begging you. Girls couldn’t just up and walk away back then. I mean, plenty of people today can’t just up and walk away, or I’d be off in the woods with some cows and some bees and never answer another email in my life.

BESIDES WHICH: the female character isn’t only valid because she gets revenge and walks away from her old life as things explode in the background. Like please. Don’t sell me that cheap modern feminism. Cinderella was brave for staying in her home with people who hated her guts and trying to build a life out of it. She still found beauty and hope in that life. I’m glad Donkeyskin got out (certainly took her a while, thanks to that moron of a godmother) and built a life of her own, but the two are not mutually exclusive.

And if we wanna look at morals, can we talk about how, through all of her abuse, Cinderella remained kind? Like, that’s pretty important. (“Instead of perpetuating the cycle” as Ruby kindly pointed out just now.) (Not saying Donkeyskin didn’t. I don’t know her well enough.)

3. If you look at one of the original versions of Cinderella’s story, either birds come and peck out her stepsisters’ and stepmother’s eyes, or they’re forced to dance all night in red-hot iron shoes until they fall down dead, or both. And the stepsisters cut off toes and heels to try and fit into that glass slipper. Cinderella got her comeuppance, too.

4. What really ticks me off about the story of Donkeyskin is not her reaction to her circumstances. Good on her. Get the heck out of there, ma’am, your father is insane. What ticks me off is how everyone else in the story acts. (McKinley looks at this in depth as well.) No one says “Whoa, hold up now, sir, you can’t go marrying your daughter, get help”. They go, “Yeah, you’re right, you made a promise to your wife, I guess you gotta marry your daughter, let’s do this.” Additionally, it’s frustrating just not having more details. These stories aren’t deep. They don’t go one and on for tens of thousands of words examining all the angles. They go “once upon a time there was a king and his really hot wife, and the wife died and the king went mad and tried to marry his daughter, but her fairy godmother gave her some questionable advice and she booked it out of there. Let’s not go back to the gold-pooping donkey because it’s time for dinner.”

So yeah. That’s what really bugs me. It’s just.... It’s mostly amusement, I guess, trying to figure out what was going through some bard’s head when he first spilled this story. Or maybe it originated somewhere else. Maybe a mom sat at her spinning wheel trying to think of a way to calm down her kids because it was snowing again and they were hungry and she went “lemme tell you a funny story” and at the end, once the kids had settled down, she shrugged and went “I dunno, man, the nobles are weird” and they all had a laugh and the next day Mary asked if their donkey pooped gold.

Augghhh there are so many layers to this I can’t even begin. I don’t know where to start. If anyone wants to chime in and help me untangle this a bit, you are more than welcome.

To the anon (if you made it this far): thanks for not threatening my well-being or calling me a moron, even though it was implied. I do appreciate that. Would have been cooler if you'd not sent me the anon message (that's on me for turning that on) so we could continue this analysis like rational people. I'll just share it with my friends instead and see what they say.

Finally: if you're the same person who responded to the original post months ago, I'm so sorry you're still thinking about this. (To be honest, I've been having trouble forgetting Donkeyskin as well, so, like, fair.)

[cutieodonoghue]

dark gray (epilogue)

summary: Killian Jones operates a lighthouse in the middle of nowhere, preferring a life of isolation, until one day a woman and a baby wash up on his little island and change his life forever.

read it on: ao3, ff.net

and also catch up on Tumblr!

a/n: it seems everyone wants an epilogue! Pretty much all fluff, so if that’s not your thing, I’m not sure how you got here… haha 

Thanks for all of your support again. I really, really appreciate all of your kind words and gestures of kindness. Hope you like this epilogue!

///

“We’ll buy a house in Storybrooke and adopt a dog. We’ll give Henry a few brothers and sisters. Your parents will adore me. And we’ll spend far too much time forgetting that any of this ever happened. But, I do reckon we’ll argue about paint chips while we’re working on remodeling the house. Unfortunately.”

///

Epilogue

SPRING

In early spring, Killian and Emma buy a house a few blocks away from her parents, not wanting to be too far from town, but still needing their own space. 

It’s a beautiful home on the corner, with a huge backyard and a generous floor plan. There are three bedrooms that they can fill with children, or so Killian imagines. 

He learns that Emma really likes big windows to let light in, and he tells her that it makes sense, because since they met, she’d brought a lot of light into his life. She rolls her eyes at him, but he knows she appreciates it.

There isn’t a lot to unpack on the first day, with the sum total of their furniture coming from Emma’s abandoned apartment. They don’t need much. Not yet.

He finds Emma sitting in their bedroom once Henry’s been put to sleep in his own bedroom just up the hall. She seems tired, maybe a little emotionally worn out from everything that happened.

“Hey,” Killian says, sitting beside her. He rubs her lower back, pressing a kiss to her temple. “You alright, love?”

Emma meets his eyes, giving him a small smile. “Yeah. I’m just tired. It was a long day.”

He hums knowingly. They stare at one another for a few moments, silent. Killian finds that he can’t stop grinning. This has been a day he’s looked forward to for a while. The opportunity to live in a beautiful home with his family is beyond exciting.

“We should get married.”

“Married?”

He nods, hoping she knows he’s serious. Killian stands up so he can kneel in front of her. “I love you so much, Emma. I want you to know I’ll always, always be by your side. Will you marry me?”

She tilts her head to the side just slightly. Her eyes become watery and she reaches for his hand to squeeze it. “I can’t argue with that.” 

“Is that a yes?”

Emma laughs a little. “Yes. It is.”

They decide to have their wedding as quickly as they can, not wanting to waste any time. 

The idea both confuses and delights her parents. Mary Margaret immediately wants to help, something Emma is grateful for, and David questions him for about an hour in the privacy of his study about his true intentions.

Over the course of a few far too short weeks, Killian works on fixing a few odds and ends around the house while Emma plans an intimate wedding for them.

He learns her natural routines and schedules. Tries to fit as much time in with her as he can in between work and trying to prepare for both a wedding and a baby.

She introduces him to her friends. Belle the town librarian, Robin and Regina the happily married barkeepers, and Ruby the fashion designer. 

He meets friends of his own at work at the harbor, too. Will, who keeps him on his toes, and Graham who would rather work in the forest. They go for beers on nights when Emma’s friends are over helping with wedding prep.

He can’t help but laugh when they clash heads over paint chips. 

She’s right. Of course she’s right. She always is.

They form traditions out of game nights and group dinners. Their friends watch Henry on occasion, and in turn, Killian offers them free outings on the water on a ship that he helps run as part of his job.

They get married at the end of the spring, under a canopy of flowers and hanging twinkle lights, in Emma’s parent’s backyard. 

Henry wears a little suit to match Killian’s, while Emma makes the most stunning bride in a white dress that flows to the ground. She’s glowing, absolutely radiant, though she worries that her baby bump is too obvious to keep hiding it from everyone.

So, once they say “I do”, and find themselves slow dancing at the party afterward, Killian asks in a low whisper pressed to her ear, “Are you ready to tell Mom and Dad?”

Emma laughs a little, leaning her head back so she can meet his eyes. “You’re going to call them that all the time now, aren’t you?”

“If it will irritate your father, absolutely.”

His wife- his wife!- tilts her head at him, giving him a soft sigh of disapproval. “We should tell them. Mom’s going to flip.”

Mary Margaret does, in fact, flip.

/

SUMMER

The summer brings them a new friend called Wilby, who enjoys bones, licking Henry’s toes, and long walks along the beach. 

Summer brings a nasty sticky heat and messy ice cream cones. Henry’s favorite flavor is chocolate. Emma’s is mint chocolate chip, which she eats by the pint balanced on her pronounced baby bump. 

In the summer, there are fireworks on the Fourth of July, town celebrations, visits to Granny’s Diner for lunch during Emma’s time off work, outings on boats, trips to the beach, and nights spent sitting outside with friends that seem to always be over to visit.

Emma’s sitting in the grass with Henry and Mary Margaret, laughing genuinely at her mother while she squeezes their son’s hands. 

Ruby’s running around with Wilby, complaining about how massive the yard is, while Belle and Will sit at the picnic table with Robin, Regina, and a pack of cards.

“So.” Neal says, a gentle unassuming smile on his face, approaching Killian at his spot on the back porch steps. “It’s been a few months. What’s it like, being married?” 

Neal offers him a cold beer. He takes it, shaking his head while he laughs. “Why? Are you thinking of getting married soon?”

Neal sits beside him, sighing as he drapes his arms around his knees at chest level. “Maybe.” He sips his drink. “So what’s it like?”

If he had to define it, he doesn’t think he could. It’s not been without its highs and lows, but for the most part, they’ve enjoyed peace. He thinks they deserve it, after everything that they’ve been through.

Again, Killian shakes his head. He stares at Emma, at the way she throws her head back to laugh at something Ruby says to her. At the soft stray curls of her ponytail. At the gentle swell of her body in the seventh month of pregnancy.

He can tell even from several feet away that she’s glowing. 

“It’s home.”

Neal considers him briefly. He hums into his bottle and has another sip. 

It’s a bit awkward, because he and Neal haven’t shared as much time together as they should. In fact, if he thinks about it, he and Neal hardly know one another. 

All he knows is that Emma and Neal were once in a troubled relationship, and now they were friends. If they could even call it that.

“Thank you.” Neal says with a tiny smile. “For giving her everything she needs. God knows I was never enough for her.”

Killian isn’t sure what to say, so he smiles back before looking ahead again. “How did you meet Emma?”

Neal seems to think about it, maybe searching for a good place to start. He takes a steadying breath to prepare for whatever he’s about to say. 

“I lost my parents growing up. Mom… ran off with another guy and Dad went criminally insane.” He stares down at his beer. “Left me to fend for myself. I met Emma at a gas station in Washington state. She was on the run like me.”

Killian found himself surprised. Knowing what he did about Neal, he hadn’t thought too deeply about his background. It surprised him even more to think that he could understand him. After all, he himself was running from the whole world. For years.

“What were you running from?”

Neal shakes his head. He laughs in spite of himself, a soft chuckle from his nose. “I still don’t know, man.”

He clears his throat and sets the bottle down on the step beside him.

“I was the same way. Running. Hiding.” Killian admits. He shakes his head. “That hole in your chest doesn’t go away, does it? Nothing helps.”

Neal clenches his jaw as he averts his gaze. “No.”

On a soft breath, Killian stands and finds a football in the grass nearby. He kicks it toward Neal to get his attention. 

The last time he’d played football was with Liam, years ago, but it was clear to him that Neal needed something powerful to pull him out of himself. He needed a brother.

“My brother and I used to kick the ball back and forth until the sun went down.” Killian reminisced. He tipped his head back toward the yard. “What do you say?”

Neal offers him a shrug. “I might be rusty… but sure.”

On their way into the yard, Killian stops to help Emma to her feet. She sways into him, caught off balance, and he chuckles, asking, “You okay, love?”

She hums, sighing softly. “Just a little lopsided.” Emma glances past him at Neal, who now has the ball scooped up onto the top of his shoe. “You guys are going to kick the soccer ball around?”

“For just a little while.” Killian says. “Time to finally get some use out of the yard.” He notices her attention rests on the man from her past. “Okay?”

“It’s fine,” she assures him. “I’m glad you’re making friends.”

Later that night, while he and Emma prepare for bed in the bathroom, he lifts his eyebrow at her in the mirror. “Are you sure you’re alright with me befriending Neal?”

Emma stops brushing her teeth to spit into the sink. When she finishes rinsing her mouth, she shrugs. “It’s just a little weird, but it’s fine.”

“Like… how, weird?” Killian wonders. He turns around so he can lean against the bathroom counter with his hand over his opposite wrist.

His wife sighs. She presses her hands to her lower back. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m nervous that now that things are finally kind of normal between us, something will change.”

“So Neal feels weird to you.”

Emma cringes at that. “No. Not really.”

Killian hums. “Did you know that he’s taking online classes? He’s trying to get a degree to teach.”

Her eyes widen in surprise. “No. I didn’t.”

“I think he’s changed. For the better.”

Emma turns to look for something on the counter. “Well, then all the best to you and your new bromance. You have my blessing.”

He rolls his eyes, smiling, and steps away from the sinks so he can kiss her temple. “You don’t have to be okay with it if you’re not.”

“He needs a friend. You’re the best one I can think of around here.”

With a clever little smirk, Killian lifts a brow. “Are you saying I’m your best friend?”

Emma, clearly exhausted, rolls her eyes. Hard. “Killian, I’m carrying your child.”

“And you’re doing it so well, my dear.” Killian offers her a kiss. “I love you. You’re my best friend. In case you were wondering.”

A little blush finds her cheeks and her lashes flutter against her cheeks. “You’re my best friend too.”

/

FALL

Storybrooke in the autumn is gorgeous, and it’s Emma’s very favorite thing. She tells him she loves the way the colors turn the streets burnt orange and red, and even though he’s seen fall before, he swears it’s so much better through her eyes. 

She asks him to take them for a drive through the forest on Sunday afternoons so they can show Henry the colors of the trees while Wilby hangs out the window, tongue wagging in the wind. 

On mildly cold nights, she comes to bed wearing her bright red flannel pajamas and socks, explaining that she’s freezing, but an hour later she’ll change because she’s too hot.

Henry likes the leaves that pile up in their backyard. He really likes the pumpkin bread that Mary Margaret brings over for them to share, and the way David’s pickup truck sounds when it starts.

The autumn is when Emma goes into labor. She grits her teeth and tells him as much while she’s trying to fold laundry one late afternoon. It’s a blur of lights and colors and sounds. A blur of long hours standing and sitting at her side. A blur of emotions when it’s finally time to push. 

Brushing back her sweaty hair from her face, allowing her to squeeze the circulation out of his one and only hand, encouraging her as much as she’ll let him. 

And when it happens, when the first cries break the surface tension, everything else fades away. 

Ten tiny fingers. Ten tiny toes. 

Pointy little ears and soft dark hair. 

Shrieks that turn into gentle whimpers. 

Emma, Emma, Emma.

He kisses her soundly and whispers, “You did it. I’m so proud of you, love.”

She laughs a little, her eyes filled with tears. She’s unable to look away from the newborn on her chest.

“She’s so beautiful.”

“You’re welcome.”

Emma looks up at him with a glare. 

He chuckles. “I’m only teasing. She clearly gets it all from you.”

His heart has never been as full as it is that early autumn morning, standing in a hospital room with his newborn daughter in his arms and his life forever changed.

The town throws an autumn festival, full of games and food along Main Street. There’s a hayride that one of his closest friends, Robin, takes them on free of charge.

There are fewer things he thinks are sweeter than seeing his son in a Halloween costume a few weeks later, dressed up like Peter Pan, except maybe seeing his newborn daughter as Tinkerbell.

For many years on the island, Killian ignored holidays. There was no need to celebrate when it was just him, and even fewer reasons while he wallowed in sorrow and grief. 

There were a lot of reasons to be thankful this Thanksgiving. 

Friends. Family. 

It had been so long since he’d had either, but it felt like he’d known them forever. 

Finally gathered around the dining table, Killian takes a long look around at the faces of his friends and family. 

Emma sits with their daughter in a wrap pressed to her chest, her soft swaths of dark hair peeking out on top, so gentle and sweet. Henry sits between them, happily digging into his meal without any thought. 

“I’d like to make a toast.” Killian says, standing. He clears his throat. “Thank you for being here. It means a lot to Emma and I that you would choose to come to our home and spend today with us. That’s sort of what I’d like to toast, actually, uh… not all of you know this, but for a good portion of my life, I chose to isolate myself. I literally lived on an island. I had nothing to celebrate, and I didn’t want to, either.”

Pausing, he meets Emma’s eyes and returns her smile.

“But this year, I have so much to celebrate. And I want to thank all of you for that. You welcomed me into your community without a second thought. I’m thankful this year for my family.” He looks to his children, then to David and Mary Margaret. He turns to the rest of the table. “And for your friendship. Without it, I would be as lost as I once was.

“So, a toast, to the community we have. And to living a life worth celebrating.”

“Here here!”

/

WINTER

Winter brings him full circle. 

On the first snowfall of the year, Killian wakes to Emma’s excited gasps and her hands on his arm, shaking him awake.

“It’s snowing! Killian, it’s snowing!”

She’s out of bed faster than he can open his eyes all the way, already rushing up the hall to get their son out of his crib. With a small smile, he waits for her to return, both of their children in her arms.

She’s breathless, her hair still a mess from sleep, yet she’s smiling so happily. “Come on, Daddy, we gotta go out and get some of the snow!”

Henry giggles. “Daddy go!”

They work as a team to prepare the children for their first snow of the year, and the moment they step outside, Emma turns to him, absolutely beaming.

It’s been a year. A year since the ocean brought her to him.

He can still remember the day she asked him to take her out into the first snow of the season, her eyes shining just as much as they do now. 

She doesn’t have to say anything for him to know that this is a meaningful day for her. For them.

In one sense, the first snow is a reminder of the beginning of their relationship. The day they’d started to see one another as they truly were.

If there’s anything this year has taught him, there’s a lot to love about learning Emma and Henry in a world far from the chilly, wintery sea.

Henry loves the snow. He catches snowflakes on his mittens and keeps calling out for them to show them. And then there’s footprints in the snow, and tasting snow, and falling in the snow. Crying because the snow is too cold, but laughing the moment he’s safe in Killian’s arms.

And when they go back inside, all Henry wants to do is rush straight back out into it again.

Storybrooke at Christmastime is a feast of colors, foods, and celebration. 

They spend a lot of time with family and friends, gathered together at Granny’s for her special holiday menu. Killian and Emma build a snowman that Henry helps them decorate. Mary Margaret and David help them find the perfect, massive tree that goes in their foyer.

On Christmas morning, well before the children have stirred, his wife finds him sitting in front of the fireplace, lined with stockings, reading a book that he swore he’d read months ago. When he was on the island, he could read several books in one sitting. Now, not so much.

“I have a present for you.” Emma says, wrapping her arms around his neck from behind.

Killian lifts an eyebrow. “It’s not Christmas until the children are up.”

She laughs into his ear and then joins him on the sofa, a wrapped gift in her hands. “I know… just trust me.”

His mind races, unsure of what this secret gift could possibly be that it would require him to just trust her. 

Taking a deep breath, she extends the present toward him. “I’ve been working on this all year.”

He hesitates, his thumb finding the crease in the wrapping paper corner. “Oh, so no pressure, then.” He winks at her, smirking. “I’m sure I’ll love it.”

Quickly, he pulls the paper away from what lies beneath. At first, he isn’t sure what he’s looking at. It’s a hardcover book with the word “Journal” in sprawling cursive on the front.

He flips the book open, curious.

On the first page, there’s a date, a small entry, and a photograph. The date is Christmas Eve, only a year ago, and the entry reads:

Today, you told me that you were home here. This journal is going to be a document of that. 

The photo is of he, Emma, and Henry sitting in their favorite booth at Granny’s. He remembers Mary Margaret insisting that they take a picture on his very first day in town. Now, he’s glad he has it.

While he looked absolutely miserable physically, he can still remember not feeling any pain until he had to lie down to sleep that night. 

He flips the page. Another entry. The following day.

“I don’t think I’m fond of peppermint, Emma.” But you still smelled like peppermint all day today. 

Killian laughs under his breath, smirking at the photo she’d clearly taken of him incognito, biting a candy cane.

He continues to flip through the journal, addicted to seeing Emma’s insights of their experiences.

We argued over paint chips for exactly 3 minutes before you doubled over laughing and let me choose all the right shades of white. Thank you.

A photo of the paint chips in question follows.

Killian continues turning the pages until he finds one day in particular that finally pulls him out of the gift.

Their wedding day.

You smelled like the ocean today.

A photo of he and Henry standing on the beach much later in the night follows. They’re both barefoot, standing in the sea foam. He hadn’t realized she was taking pictures. 

Looking up at Emma, he finds her nervously biting on her lower lip.

“You did this everyday?”

She nods. “Yeah.” He flips the page. “Just like your mom’s journal. Except this one, I hope, gives you different feelings when you look at it.”

Killian hums. “It does.” 

He can’t help but smile, studying a photo of his son kissing Emma’s growing bump just a few months ago. 

“Look at today.”

He does as she asks, flipping all the way to the end of the journal. The final entry is a little bit longer than the others he’s had the time to read.

This year, you: bought a house, got married, got a new job, made a lot of friends, had a baby, adopted a dog, watched a lot of cable TV, celebrated every holiday, loved your kids with everything you had, and spent every day in between making a difference. Thank you for choosing us, Killian.

A photo of him and the children sitting at the breakfast table follows. His baby daughter in one arm, Killian’s singing one of those silly nursery rhymes along with Henry, who sits at the table beside him, beaming brightly with crinkles by his eyes. 

He remembers the giggles, the fit of laughter that came from Henry’s belly, and the way his sticky fingers felt against his cheeks and lips when he leaned in close enough. 

The photo is pure joy. A true encapsulation of the year they’ve shared.

Like before, he isn’t sure how Emma went unnoticed taking this picture, but he’s glad she did. 

“This year was special for a lot of reasons, but the biggest reason is that it was your first year away from the island.” Emma says. “And I wanted to give you something that proved that it was worth it. That proved you were here and it mattered.”

He looks up at her, tears welling in his eyes. He manages to smile softly at her. “Thank you.”

Emma puts her right hand on his face, rubbing her thumb against the apple of his cheek. “I know I’ve said it before, but thank you for being there that day. For me and Henry. This book is proof that we’re here, too.”

Killian turns his head to kiss her palm. He sets the book aside and determinedly lays Emma back on the sofa with his lips pressed to hers. She runs her fingers through his hair as they languidly share a stolen moment, free of distraction and interruption.

Before he can get too carried away, Killian breaks the kiss, pressing his forehead against Emma’s. 

She bites on her lip after her tongue darts out to soothe it, a twinkle in her eye. “What was that for?”

“For giving this year to me.” He looks into her eyes, cocking an eyebrow. “Quite literally.”

She hums sweetly, tugging at his hair. “Here’s to seventy more, my love.”

[hintofcolor]

Things I’ve managed to convince myself are canon:

Dick was born in Romania and spent his entire childhood traveling with the circus not once settling down therefore when his parents died in America (supposedly just another country they stopped in) he was forced to stay there. Meaning dick was an illegal immigrant for a long time while Bruce constantly was trying to use his money and power to get Dick legal without him leaving the country OR anyone finding out

This also means Dick couldn’t really speak English when he moved in with Bruce (this is backed up by him constantly dismantling the English language in the YJ cartoon)

All of the bat kids were bullied brutally in school

Bruce encouraged them to fight back just like Alfred did with him (“never throw the first punch but if get hit make sure they’re the ones that stay down”)

Dick spent a couple weeks in juvie after his parents died and it was the worst couple weeks of his life

Dick had a childhood crush on Wally (who is straight) when dick was 16 he sat Wally down and told him. He told him he expected nothing out of this confession he just hated feeling like he was lying to Wally, Wally understood and was really nonchalant about it nothing changed in their relationship

Jason grew up loving wonder woman and considered her his greatest inspiration in being a hero when he was robin

In return Diana absolutely adored Jason

When Jason got older his respect for Diana only grew and Diana constantly stood up for him, even going as far as (subtly) threatening Bruce a couple times

Jason can’t handle the smell of drugs at all, he always has to wear a filtered mask during drug busts just in case

Jason used to smoke but ever since coming back the smoke just reminds him of the explosion (I saw this somewhere I can’t remember where shout out to you tho)

Jason hates the color green

Tim was severely neglected as a child

Tim learned multiple different languages from all the nanny’s he’s had

Tim is an amazing photographer

All of Bruce’s kids are really close with Selina and go to her to talk or just if they need a break from Bruce and she absolutely adores it

This is one of the main reasons Bruce wanted to marry her

Bruce might be a little awkward and socially inept but he is a good father and loves all of his kids and even tho he might slip up sometimes he would NEVER (I’m looking at you Tim king) NEVER EVER intentionally hurt one of his kids physically or mentally BECAUSE THAT IS EXTEREMELY OUT OF CHARACTER @ ANY WRITER WHO HAS MADE BRUCE A JERK GOD LEARN YOUR CHARACTER JEEZ

Damian is a phenomenal artist and is considered a prodigy

It is something he keeps to himself however

Both Dick and Tim have gone and worked under Selina during thier robin days for a few weeks

The only person who is close to Dicks level when it comes to acrobatics is Selina

There are days where you are only allowed to speak in your native tongue to help Everyone keep up their language skills (Tim speaks Filipino dick speaks Romani Jason speaks Italian Stephanie speaks Portuguese Damian speaks Arabic bruce switches Cassie speaks Chinese) these are the days duke feels like slamming his head through a wall

All of the bat kids have green lantern shirts

Tim has a habit of stealing clothes from literally anyone

Tim prefers tea over coffee

Ace and Titus are both trained service dog however Titus is Damians specifically while Ace is trained to alert Alfred of Bruce and to alert Bruce of Dick Tim and Jason

Bruce is think about getting another dog for Cassie steph and duke because he doesn’t want to overwhelm Ace with 3 more people

Nobody in that spoiled family except for Jason and Alfred can make ANYTHING other that ramen cereal and toast

Dick is insanely healthy because that’s how he grew up in the circus AND the manor

Bruce once lit the refrigerator on fire trying to cook. No one knows how. He denies he ever did such to this day

Dick was considered a heartthrob as a teen and actually was featured on vogue in native dress and took the opportunity to talk about his culture

Vickie was fuming but so was Lois

Dick dresses like Harry styles. Convince me otherwise. I dare you.

However his go to look is a Hawaiian short tucked into black skinny jeans and black converse

Just like Selina everyone in the batfamily has a tendency to confide in Dinah

No homophobia sexism or racism is allowed in the Wayne house hold if you display any of the following you will promptly be kicked out. It has happened before

Cassie has punched lex Luther in the face at a gala

Bruce laughed

Cass has also only worn sweats and a sports bra to a gala

Cass is a ballet dancer and likes teaching her brothers the moves she has learned

When Bruce came back from the dead and found out the justice league thought Tim was going insane with grief and didn’t do anything about it he yelled and screamed for a solid hour. Then he went silent. for weeks he didn’t say a word. It was the most terrifying he had ever been

Duke hangs on to the fact that he is the only meta allowed in Gotham with absolute pride

All the robins check in on the kids from the ‘we are robin’ movement every now and again just to make sure they are okay

Adults are terrified of the bats however children love them

Every member of the batfamily has been called over by child screaming out their window only to spend the next hour helping said child with their homework

Batman makes sure he is approachable to children he wants them to feel safe enough around him to ask for his help no matter what

That has led to him: 1. Patching up stuff animals 2. Calming down imaginary friends 3. Giving opinions on important matters such as which color is the best 4. Helping with homework 5. Trying to be persuaded into convincing the parents not to make broccoli anymore. It’s his favorite part about putting on a mask

Teenagers tho a little more hesitant also approach him with a little more serious matters and more for advice. (How can I help my friend with depression? How can I help my anxiety? I think friend is doing drugs how can I help. I don’t think these are good people I’m hanging out with but now I’m too scared to stop)

However if teens catch any bat sitting on a rooftop close to their windows they ask more stupid type of questions

“Hey nightwing how do you ask out a girl?” “Red hood I’m trying to write this book so hypothetically how long does it take some one to bleed out?” “If I payed you would you take my physical for PE for me?” “How good do you think you would do on the pacer test?” “Can you tell my little sister to shut up, she’ll listen to you?” “How much do I have to pay you to scare my friend?”

Talks between people and the vigilantes from rooftop to window happen a lot and it is always the highlight of the patrol. They like that the people of Gotham trust them.

Jason was brought back via whatever that superboy reset was (I’m still a little fuzzy, sue me) clawed his way out of his grave and then found by Talia. He was then but in the pit for his head injuries. Making it easier for the shadows to manipulate and brainwash him into hating Bruce. However that’s the only thing they manipulated him into. Jason didn’t go ‘insane by the pit’ and his thoughts and stances on killing are his own. And the way Bruce handles Jason being back is what made Jason continue hating Bruce even aged the brainwashing ‘wore off’

The day his dad died was what Jason considered the best day of his life

Dick is extremely intelligent and was considered a child prodigy (this isn’t a headcanon this is actually canon some of y’all just forget and need to be reminded)

Dick loves math (also canon)

Jason can sing. Like really really well.

Theater Nerd™️ Jason Todd

Jason is scared of thunderstorms

Damian is afraid of heights

Lady shiva absolutely adores Tim

They have all been arrested a few times each for varying reasons when they were teenagers

If Alfred or Bruce yell one thier full names the other kids will cover for them but ONLY if they use the full name other wise it’s every man for himself

I know this one isn’t batfam but I think kon playes the electric guitar and has a really unique punk-ish vibe type singing voice (think hobo Johnson)

Dick has naturally curly hair

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #414

“mirror, mirror, tell me who you see  /  am i you or me?  /  i can never remember”

How many people have you kissed? Four. Ever kissed someone you weren’t dating at the time? No. Of the people you’ve kissed, how many do you regret kissing? Two. Ever been kissed by a legal adult when you were a minor (or vise-versa)? Yeah, with Jason, but it was only a two-year difference. Ever kissed someone on a dare/as part of a game? No. Where’s the most public place you’ve ever made out with someone? Nowhere public. I wouldn't do that. Can you snowboard? Never tried. Have you ever made a mixed cd for someone? No. Do you use recycle bins at your house? Yes. Do you own more than one bathing suit? No. Have you ever kissed someone who smokes weed? Jason did occasionally with his best friend, but he stopped for me. How are you right this second? I'm all right. Last night was pretty rough, so I'm just glad that's over. My body is just tired. Is there anything you disliked about your last birthday? Honestly, I barely remember what I did on my last birthday. I just remember it was fine. Oh wait, actually, on the way home from going out to eat, we had to call the cops while behind a car whose driver was obviously drunk or high OFF. HIS. ASS. He was swerving like crazy and almost hit SO many cars. I was having an absolute panic attack. I pray to God that guy was more than just found and fined. Do you keep a diary or journal (offline or online)? No, unless you count surveys, I guess. What were you like a year ago? I was the unhappily the same. Is someone on your mind right now? Fucking always. Having a warm dream about him last night didn't help. Who was the last person you sat next to? My mom. What do you currently hear right now? My screen is split so I can watch John Wolfe play some indie horror games. What’s something you need to go shopping for? I need to get new bras baaaadly because I'm tired of none fitting properly. What’s the last thing you ate? I had a donut 'cuz Mom stopped at Dunkin' for coffee. Do/did you do good in school? I did up to college. Then I just... sucked. Do you always get along with your siblings? I mean I don't see/talk to them every day or anything, not even very regularly even, but we generally get along fine now as adults. We disagree about shit for sure, but keep our mouths shut. Or probably talk to Mom about it while I'm not present. I don't even think they like me half of the time. Are you frustrated with anything? So much. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? There were/are a lot of factors. Just she as a person is phenomenal. What’s your younger sibling’s name? Nicole. Can you speak in a different language conversationally; if so, which language? A tiny bit of German. Do you ever fear of falling asleep? With my nightmares, I used to dread it. Now, thankfully, my APAP mask has prevented them from happening, mostly; I've only had two in the month that I've had it, and I ordinarily had them every single night. Do you have an idea of what kind of profession you’d like to have? I do, but I honestly doubt I'm going to succeed in even making it a part-time job by this damn point. Which beach would you say is your favorite? I don't have a favorite. I don't even like the beach very much. What kind of cookie is your favorite? Chocolate chip. Have you ever had a churro? Yes. Too crunchy and ridiculously sweet, not a fan. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? A good personality beats good looks any day. How is/was your chemistry class in high school? I actually didn't take chemistry; my graduating year, physical science was offered as the alternative, which I took. How does alcohol affect you? I get hot, and my face flushes badly. It'll make me more talkative. Have you ever tried lemon brownies? No, and I don't want to. I don't like lemon-flavored stuff like that. What was the last type of meat you ate? Beef. Have you taken any medication today? I have prescriptions I take every day. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? I've seen some of it at Sara's house. What is your favourite kind of pasta? Just spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs, really. I've been on a major chicken pesto kick lately, though. Have you set an alarm today? No. Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names: Literally just the chance to say "I'm sorry" would be fucking amazing. Just two fucking words. What if there were two of you? Would the world be in trouble? No. That'd be a waste of space, though. Not like I'm contributing much to society. Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone? I dunno man, it depends on my mood and what I want in the moment. Do you watch movies with the subtitles on? No; I find it to be distracting. Is the last person you kissed yours? I hate this saying. She's her own person that belongs to nobody but herself. But to just go along with it and answer the question, no, we're not together. Do you think you will be married by the time you are 25? Welp, I'm halfway through 25, so. Do you have siblings over the age of 21? All of my siblings are. Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? No. Especially as I've aged, I'd say I'm pretty quick to accept if I've fucked up. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? Jason will probably always have that power, even if he's not in my life. Would you ever be a stripper? God no, nobody wants to see that. What are your plans for tomorrow? Just get through the day, man. Do you owe anybody money? No. How would your parents describe you? Reserved, shy, a deep thinker, animal lover, uhhhh... What is the most you have ever weighed? Let's not. Would you ever work at McDonald's? No. I'm never working in food service. If you aren't already, would you go vegetarian or vegan? I want to be a vegetarian and being a vegan would be perfectly ideal for me, but I really don't think I can healthily accomplish either. I am FAR too picky to where I'd almost definitely become malnourished. To make it even worse I absolutely cannot "suck it up" if I don't like a food, so it's not like I could choke down stuff I don't like. Not to mention I'd be pretty sad without any yummy food to look forward to, aha. Coolest person you've ever met? Uhhhh I don't know. Do you wear boxers? No. Girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? I don't remember. Would you ever attend a gay pride parade or festival? I would absolutely love to. Did you see Paranormal Activity 2? I think I've seen all of the movies. I liked them, given paranormal horror films are probably my fave. What would you do if an old man grabbed your ass? Kick him in the fucking balls so goddamn fast and probably slap him across the face at the same time. Probably cry later from feeling violated and having my fear of men aggravated. Do you like moustaches? It depends on the person, but I'd say I generally prefer an attached beard and a mustache versus JUST a mustache. Could you hack into someone's computer if you tried hard enough? No. I have no idea how to do that. Have you ever smoked a cigar? No. Do you go out on Black Friday? Hell no. NOT worth fighting people for deals. Do you have curtains in your bedroom? No; I have those blinds that you can close upwards or downwards. Did you like the Spice Girls when you were little? Yeah, I did. Can you sing the entire Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song? I think I can. Do you get heartburn? I'm literally on an antacid prescription, or else I get insane heartburn every day. Are you scared of elevators? To a moderate degree, yes. I'm terrified of it getting stuck. Have you ever seen a dead body in person? Yes, at an open-casket wake. Have you ever seen The Goonies? I have. If you're white, do you ever wish you were black? Or vice versa? I'm fine being Caucasian, but ultimately don't care. Do you bake cookies all the time around Christmas? I don't bake. Do you like your hair pulled? Uhhh... I'm assuming you mean this in a suggestive context, in which case no. Never pull my hair, actually. What kind of jeans do you like? Ripped skinny jeans. What do you think is overrated? Who really cares. Let people enjoy what they enjoy. And what are your goals for the remainder of this year? Lose lots of weight, find a job, get back into old hobbies and develop new ones... Name a city that starts with A in your state/province etc. Asheboro. Name a landmark that starts with M in your state/province etc. I'm blanking right now. When was the last time you gave a horse a carrot? Been years. I think I've only done that once, and I can't even remember where it was. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. How many seasons is your favorite TV show in so far? MM was just revived for its fifth season! :') Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? NC actually has this really old Wizard of Oz theme park! It's on the other end of the state, though, and NC is one wiiiiiide state. What was the last bird you saw? A robin, I think. What color was the last thing you drank? Green. Has a wild animal ever been loose in your house? Besides insects, no. Well wait, scratch that, once or twice we had a small mice problem when we lived in the woods. What’s the name of the bookstores in your city? The only one I know off the top of my head is Books-a-Million. Where do your parents live? I live with my mom, and Dad lives in the same city as us. Have you ever seen or touched an iceberg? No, but that would be cool. What colour are your father’s eyes? Brown. If your ex turned up on your doorstep now, with nowhere else to go, would you let him/her stay? Well one, this isn't my house, so I can't make that decision. My mom being who she is though, she'd let pretty much anyone stay the night. If it was Sara, Mom would let her stay as long as she needed. The last time you cried, was it connected with someone of the opposite sex? Ugh, yes. My PTSD was BAD last night. Delicious warm brownies or a giant cookie? I'll take the brownie. Have you visited a haunted building or area before? No, but damn I'd love to. Have you been to North Carolina? Ayyyyeeeee that's my home.

[chemartsblog]

For Love of Sassy Brunettes

Pairing: Steve/any sassy brunette, BrOTP Steve & Bucky

Summary: Bucky knows there’s one thing that get’s Steve’s engine going: Sassy Brunettes.

For the Love of Sassy Brunettes

If Bucky could pin it on a singular event, he’d say that Steve found his fondness for brunettes when a nine-year old Chloe Dayzula saved his pasty ass from the local bullies. The girl was fierce with brown curls, tanned skin, brown eyes and a mouth that’s not afraid to sass anyone out. Normally, Bucky could easily take out Donald Stump and his crew, but he wasn’t there that day and those bullies tried too advantage of it.

Fortunately, Chole was, and she did not like seeing those bullies beating down the sick kid with asthma. From the way Steve and the other kids tell it, that spitfire literally kicked Donald Stump’s ass to the ground. Then she got in-between the bully and Steve, put her hands on her hips and yelled, “My dog’s got bigger balls than you, Stump. Go play on the train tracks if you wanna show off your manliness.”

That right there…that image of a strong sassy brunette defending the weak was burned into Steve’s memories forever.

When Bucky got on the scene, Steve was a stuttering red mess as he tried to thank the girl. “I-I don’t know how I could thank you, Chloe.” Steve mumbled, shifting slightly on his feet.

Chloe had grinned and batted her eyelashes prettily. “You could get ice cream with me.”

Steve looked like he just found gold on a well-trodden road. He smiles eagerly, “Y-yeah of course—em sure yeah!”

Bucky has to bite his fist to stop himself from laughing, but at least Chloe found it endearing. She laughed and took his hand, taking him towards the ice cream shop. When Steve looked back, Bucky gave him two thumbs up and mouths a ‘good luck’.

Steve and Chloe ‘date’ for a month until she had to leave with her parents to go to another state. It’s the first time Bucky sees Steve cry over a girl.

                                                                                                                  _*_*_

Over the years, Bucky starts seeing a trend in Steve’s crushes. Almost all of them are brunettes and who usually show a hint of fire in them. As far as Bucky knew, they were all girls until Yin Pothong transferred to school. The fourteen-year-old boy was tall, lithe and very very handsome. Even Bucky couldn’t stop his double glances at the teen’s exotic features. The wavy tussle of dark brown hair rested neatly on his head, his eyes a deep dark black that makes all the girls (and boys) melt.

They said his parents were mixed, which is why he looks so damn good. Bucky can believe it, and Steve definitely believed it.

It was probably the third time Steve tripped over his legs when Yin passed by during gym, and Bucky’s had enough of his friend’s painful mooning. So he does the ‘good friend’ thing and calls Yin over to them during break. The tall amiable boy smiles brightly and waves at Bucky and Steve.

“Hi Bucky.” Then he turns his brown eyes to his red quivering friend. “Hi Steve.”

Steve is a statue. A very red gaping statue.

Bucky clears his throat, “Ahem, y’know Yin, Steve is also a big fan of the Brooklyn Robins. We got tickets to one of the games on Saturday, but I can’t make it…” he hints.

Yin grins. “I’d be happy to; if Steve’s okay with it?” He answers glancing to the still statuesque teen.

Bucky discretely grinds down on Steve’s foot, and somehow snaps him out of his stupor.

“Y-yeah yes—well—I mean—that is—!”

An exasperated Bucky delivers another quick jab to the stuttering teen’s side, and Steve manages to get himself together to string a coherent sentence.

“Yes. Yes. I definitely wouldn’t mind. Love to have you there, Yin.” Steve finishes lamely.

It doesn’t seem to discourage Yin, which is a good sign. The handsome brunette takes out a piece of paper and writes his address and home number on it.

“Here, call me if anything comes up. Otherwise we should meet up at my place before the game. Probably 12? My mom probably would want to make lunch for us.” He says.

Steve takes the piece of paper like it’s the most precious artifact in the world, and looks at Yin with wide eyes. “Y-yeah 12 is good.”

“Great! See you then, Steve.” And Yin takes off, heading towards another group of people.

Bucky grins, “Smooth dude.”

“Shut up, Buck. You were the same way with Mellissa.”

“That’s because I got lost in those massive tits.”

Steve slaps his friend’s arm playfully. “You’re an animal.”

“Never said I wasn’t.” Bucky grins.

They pause and Steve asks carefully, “So you’re okay if I’m…a little queer?”

Bucky grins and ruffles his friend’s hair. “Tits, pecs, dicks, vag’s. Doesn’t matter to me. You’re still the most awkward fucking dude I know.”

“Ha-ha.” Steve retorts, but there’s a relieved grin on his face.

                                                             _*_*_

One of the strangest things Bucky starts recalling during his imprisonment is all the faces of Steve’s crushes. For whatever reason, the drone of the names and faces going through his brain are enough to keep him relatively sane during the kooky doctor’s experiments.

If some of the guards give him weird looks every time he starts listing the names of Steve’s sassy brunette crushes, well…he’s too tired of Nazi shit to care.

In fact he’s just in the middle of talking about Yin when lo and behold Steve comes barging through the door. Well he thinks it’s Steve, but this Steve is waaay bigger than the Steve he remembers. Is this a hallucination?

“Who’s the sassy brunet who saved you on the playground when Donald came after you?” Bucky asks suspiciously. Big-Steve snorts and answers, “Chloe Dayzula. My first crush.”

Bucky looks him up and down. “Huh. What happened to you?”

“I joined the army.” Is the easy answer.

Whatever, Bucky’s too tired to complain or think too hard on it.

_*_*_

The moment Bucky recovered and laid eyes on Elizabeth ‘Peggy’ Carter, he knew. He didn’t even have to look at Steve standing beside him. Peggy is the whole package, and he’s going to gloat at their wedding.

Honestly, Bucky gets it. Peggy is hot, dangerous and has the look of someone who’s not afraid to kick your ass. He’d be jealous if it was anyone but Steve. As it was, he’s more than happy to play wingman to the dork. And Steve really needs it. The two idiots dance around each other like nobody’s business. It’s one of the worst cases of pining Bucky’s ever seen. The air around them tense and sizzling with unsaid promises. Every eye at the bar on the two, asking will they? Are they?

It’s kinda cute how Steve’s changed so much but still retained that awkward boyish attitude when it comes to women. Bucky would have laughed if he hadn’t seen this same dance for the past eighteen years. Still, it’s cute that Steve found a dangerously hot brunette in the army of all things.

Bucky puts down his drink and sits across from Steve, eyes gleaming and smirk sharp.

“So…Peggy.” He starts.

Steve sighs, “Bucky…”

“What?” he asks innocently. “I’m just stating the name of our very pretty, very brunette, and very spicy lady.”

“If she hears you say that she’ll fill you with lead and then turn you inside out before doing it again.” Steve retorts.

Bucky shivers. “Yup you’re right about that, but what if you said that?”

“She’d have to use the bigger guns.”

“Alright, fair enough.” Bucky acquiesces. “But seriously, it’s like I wasn’t even there. Did you forget that I was standing next to you?”

Steve chuckles. “I could never forget you, Bucky.”

“Better not. I snagged you that hot boyfriend, Yin.”

“No you didn’t.” Steve denies.

“Yes I did, Steve don’t even start. If I hadn’t dropped in with that whole, ‘oh no. I can’t go to the baseball game’ schtick, you’d have been mooning over him until he moved.”

The larger man sighs, “Yeah you’re probably right. He was something.”

“Like a Peggy something?” Bucky grins.

Steve pushes Bucky, and this time, it actually topples the man down.

“Oh shoot, I’m sorry Buck!” Steve cries as he helps his friend up. Bucky waves him away.

“Eh bound to happen someday.” He says. “But you owe me.”

“What do you want?”

“I call best man.” Bucky grins.

Steve laughs. “Win the war first; then we can talk about weddings.”

(Bucky’s last thought as he falls is: Damn I’ll miss my best friend’s wedding.)

                                                               _*_*_

Seventy years would change everything and nothing. Steve convinced him to stay after the whole Hydra debacle, and they were able to rescue his mind with Stark and Shuri’s help. The first thing he does after staggering out of the pod is hug Steve, holding onto his brother and best friend tightly.

“Sorry about Peggy.” He mutters.

Steve smiles sadly and pats his back, “It’s okay. She lived a good life.”

“I’m glad.”

Of course, Stark isn’t really one for sappy reunions and snaps at the two. “Uhhh…why don’t I see any loving for the two amazing geniuses that recovered your brain?” he sasses. “I’m just saying that we saved your brain. With our brains and a lot of cool science stuff.”

Bucky glares at the man and then turns to Steve. He leans close to his ear and whispers, “I swear to God Steve if you’ve got a boner for that guy…”

The silence and tension in his shoulders is all he needs to know. Bucky groans and drops his head against Steve’s shoulder.

“Uuuugggghhhh.” He intones dramatically.

Steve pats his head. “Sorry, buddy.”

“You owe me so much for this.”

                                                     _*_*_

At least Steve makes good on his promise and gives Bucky the honor of best man. Take that Sam!

Bucky raises his glass in a toast and grins. “Tony, of all the sassy brunettes that Steve has liked over the years, you would be the last one I thought Steve would marry.”

Tony sends him the middle finger, but Bucky just laughs it off and continues. “But you really stepped up and showed that you’re the best one for my brother. So best of luck to Steve and you. You’re probably the only two people who could marry each other without going insane.”

The dining hall is filled with laugher and applause as Bucky bows and takes a seat. After the wedding ceremony, Steve comes up and gives him a hug and a playful punch. Stark actually does the human thing and gives Bucky a proper hug too.

“Wow is the world ending?” Bucky jokes.

Tony rolls his eyes. “You weren’t funny seventy years ago and you aren’t funny now.”

“Rude. Steve are you going to let your husband talk to your brother-in-law like that?”

Said man rolls his eyes in response. “I’m not getting in-between your weird play-feuds. Just don’t have another Poptart incident.”

“Hey that was all Thor.” Tony complains.

Bucky nods vigorously, “Yeah we hardly had anything to do with it!”

“Clint, Bruce and Tasha think differently. Even Thor thinks differently.”

“Figures.” Bucky mutters. “They always blame the class clowns.”

“I’m more of a class genius.” Tony retorts.

Before the two can get into another bickering session, Steve hauls them towards the photographer. They get one good picture, and then Bucky somehow gets cake all over Tony and it’s just pandemonium from there. Steve is fine with it. It wouldn’t be a Stony wedding without an impromptu food fight.

                                                      _*_*_

Bucky should have known something like this would happen. Steve is the biggest sap he knew and Tony is no better. Especially when it comes in a cute seven-year-old package.

Steve saved this tiny child from a bombing in Queens. Unfortunately, poor Peter lost his aunt and uncle during the attack, leaving the child with no home to go to. Steve only had to give the authorities his best, Captain America look before they’re handing him the paperwork to take the child into his temporary custody once Peter’s been cleared by the doctor’s.

Bucky should have known it would be anything but temporary.

And it got worse when Tony found out the child’s potential genius. The two children were busy playing in the lab all day, and Steve just looked over them like a proud mother duck. Bucky would have torn his hair out if it wasn’t so damn cute.

Of course, Tony and Steve filed for adoption within a week of knowing Peter, and soon they’ll have a newly minted Peter Parker-Stark-Rogers.

Bucky sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, while Steve gives him the biggest puppy-dog eyes as he tucks Peter close.

“Steve.” Bucky says.

“Bucky.”

His friend looks at Steve then at the small child in Steve’s arms and honestly, Bucky’s a stupid sap too because he gets it.

“I call godfather.” Bucky replies.

“You’ll have to fight, Clint, Thor, and Bruce for that honor.” Steve answers.

“What about godmother?”

“You’ll have to fight Tasha and Pepper for it.”

“I’ll try my hand at godfather.”

“Good idea.”

Bucky shakes his head in amusement. “I always knew you had a weakness for sassy brunettes, but this wasn’t what I expected to come out of it.”

“Because I married Tony?” Steve asks.

Bucky shakes his head and looks meaningfully at the small child who’s building some kind of spider robot with Legos.

Steve looks offended and gasps. “Peter is not sassy.”

“Yeah Uncle Buck, I’m not sassy. I’m an angel.” Peter…well sasses.

His old friend only has to give Steve a look and the sheepish man just shoots Bucky a wry grin.

“What can I say? I have a type.”

[troped-fanfic-challenge]

The Chopped Madness Champion is….

@the-most-beautiful-broom​

the-most-beautiful-broom was a steady force in this competition, writing everything from a Canonverse Bellarke Robin Hood Fairy Tale AU to a Marper Titanic Angst AU (+ Marper Aeronauts Angst) to a Political Aassassins Memori Dystopia AU to a Zaven Spider-verse Superheroes AU to a Luna/Lincoln Mirror Universe Thriller AU and they were all FANTASTIC! That’s six (6!) fics and 31k words during the weeks of this competition! You deserve the title of CHOPPED MADNESS CHAMPION! Congratulations! Check out all her fics below:

Qualifying Round Fic: we'd up and fly (if there were wings for flying)

Mods’ Review: Robin Hood was such an awesome fairtytale to choose, we loved this fic! You were really able to bring us into the world of your story so well! Your description of Wells’ death was great, and it really helped bring us into that “robin hood medieval” world that this story needed! And, obviously, we LOVE wells, so this death was so rough, but so well done!! We really loved Villain Kane, the whole quarry/slavery/chancelor kane concept was so good and so well executed! We really loved the concept, with Bellamy as Robin Hood and Clarke as Maid Marion! It was so great, we need more!! Bellamy being so badass, and putting his name on the packages to make sure Kane knew it was him, was EXCELLENT! We love a Hero!Bellamy plot, but let’s be real here… who doesn’t! We also really loved your little hand washing tutorial, always important, but even more so now… your corona is showing ;)! Bellamy giving Clarke the ring that Wells gave him for her was so sweet! You always manage to bring in such soft, sweet character moments that really bring your stories so much life! This story had so much heart to it, and we loved every word! 

Round 1 Fic: Macushla & Both

Mods’ Review: The whole concept of the Macushla fic, the Titanic and the “road trip” being them on their life boat trying to escape, was so creative and exciting. You were able to really nail this setting and story, we loved this fic! Harper just absolutely murdering that journalist was such an awesome opening scene!! The set up of the sinking ship and her trying to find her way to a lifeboat was so good! We were on the edge of our seats, you really established the life or death nature of the situation really well! Also, we love the touch of Monroe being involved somehow! Harper trying so hard to get more people aboard their lifeboat was so harrowing and sad to watch, and it was a really nice touch to see her pushing the people onboard to do their part, and shaming them when they didn’t. It was a really nice character moment for Harper, and felt very true to who she is. Harper choosing to steer the ship was so good! It really added to the story to see how much she wanted to be a part of the effort to help in whatever way she could. She was a heroine we wanted to root for! You were really able to craft this story exceptionally well, and we loved reading it!

We also have to add your Aeronauts AU, Both, to this review! We can’t believe you wrote two fics this round and we’re sorry you couldn’t enter them both for the competition! But we are glad we get this fic in it’s entirety! It’s so beautifully written and a really great look at Harper and Monty. Going from Strangers to Lovers in a hot air balloon “road trip”, was mesmerizing. And it had just the right touch of angst that had us going back to read this fic over and over. Thanks so much for sharing it! 

Round 2 Fic: Good to be Back

Mods’ Review: Big fan of the opening, with the radio calls back and forth! It gave the audience the information we needed to get going with the story, while also adding some mystery and suspense as well! Murphy selling salt cubes, and using saltwater as currency, was so creative and fun! It was a nice touch of world building that really added depth to the story! Abby’s death leading to a political coup of some kind was such a great plot line, and it set up your fic so well! Assassins is always such an exciting plot! The “accidental death” assassination was so cool, it showed the expertise that Emori and Murphy have in their line of work, and it was a really cool scene. Hiding the syringe in a tampon wrapper? Genius!! Forced bed sharing to keep up with their married couple facade? Oh the angst! We love a good wake up scene, all sleepy and cute while they lovingly gaze at the other person, and this was no exception! You were able to add such a nice touch of romance and sweetness to a pretty gnarly story, well done! The Resistance pushing Murphy and Emori out after they did their dirty work for them is so good, it made the story feel even more real, and the stakes even more intense! The fact that the reaction to the death by the government was mass destruction was so unsettling but also so believable, you really created a very real dystopia that had us white knuckling it throughout the whole story! Loved that ending, of them planning to keep the work going, and try to save the world. Memori as sort of underground heroes is always a great storyline! This fic was so good! 

Round 3 Fic: Into the Blue

Mods’ Review: It’s amazing how you managed to capture the very essence of the Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse movie into your fic! Raven’s introduction to the Other Times Square (and to us) was the perfect setup! We became obsessed with all your character choices, too! Raven as Gwen, Miles/Zeke as Spider-man, Jordan as Miles, Octavia as Doc Ock!, Jasper as Prowler, Diyoza as Aunt May, Madi and her robot, Bellamy as Spidernoir and Murphy as Spider-Pig?! SO CREATIVE! The added layer of angst you weaved between these characters is something to behold. The simple glances between Zaven and lines like, “The universe gives her back her best friend for him to not know her, to be older and colder and to not know her. And then kills another version of him, just for fun.” Or “Who was your Jasper?” Raven had been alone in her world and you explored the found family trope so wonderfully in this fic. “It’s been so long since she let herself rely on others...a part of her wants to go back with each of them. She doesn’t do friends. This feels a little more like a family.” Cue the tears as they all said goodbye and Raven went into the blue!!!  And the final scene much later as she goes into yellow hinting at more for Zaven is just perfect. We enjoyed this fic so much!!!!

Round 4 Fic: we cross our bridges and burn them behind us

Mods’ Review: We love the idea of a Science Squad who are HELLBENT on proving the multiverse, it feels so true to the sci-fi thriller genre, to have a team of ‘good guys’ who make some discovery, and then have to deal with the repercussions. Also, such a nice touch, using Nadia’s last name for Luna. It’s a nice change from the ‘water’ based last names that Bailey is definitely guilty of lol. The escaped double is an excellent concept, and so very exciting! Honestly, HOLY SHIT. ALIE leveled midtown in like four hours?! That's Insane! You are always so deft at creating real tension within your stories, while still making sure they have real meaning and emotion behind them, and we love that you never pull your punches! “I don’t do teams” “wrong earth for that” FANTASTIC. It's like ‘you will join this found family and you will LIKE IT.’ And from Wells, our hearts! We always love any mention of Wells! We ALSO love a  suspenseful two hour countdown! Very ‘end of the world, 1 man can save us’, like one of those movies where Gerard Butler is somehow the only man who can save the President from certain doom, but obviously in a good way! Raven’s motivational hero speech being ‘nah it’ll be good as long as we get to it’ is so in character and hilarious, we loved it! Oh my god… Jasper’s death scene, Bailey literally had her mouth hanging open. We loved that you had Luna ask if he knew, and the weight of the realization that it was usually Luna, even if he didn’t say it. So much emotion happening in such an intense scene, so well done! The twist that she’s not actually Luna 47!!! SOO well done, we can’t deal! And it makes the scene a little earlier, where Lincoln said “thought it was you” make so much more sense! We were honestly BLOWN away by this fic, it was intense and exciting, heartfelt and sweet, full of deftly handled intense plots and really amazing character moments. This fic was definitely deserving of pushing you over the edge to become our Chopped Champion! 

———

Now that Chopped Madness is complete, all the fics written for Chopped Madness by all authors have been revealed and you can post about your fics! Don’t forget to tag us!

Our non-anonymous collection is still open for anyone who is interested in sharing fics they’ve written based on any of the Chopped Madness prompts! We’d love to see what you come up with, and we’ll happily share your work on our blog! The non-anon collection can be found here! To submit your fic to the collection, simply enter ‘chopped_non_anonymous’ as the name of the collection when uploading your fic!!!

Non-Anon AO3 Collection Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Chopped_Non_Anonymous

This is the end of Chopped Madness! Thanks so much to the 16+ authors who participated in this event, we hope you enjoyed it as much as we did!!

[gothamdetected-a]

multiverse.

i know what you’re thinking. sim are you absolutely fucking insane, don’t even TRY to tackle this one. you’re right i am insane. and yes i am still going to try and tackle a meta about DC multiverses HOWEVER, to give myself on shred of sanity on this treacherous journey, i will say that this is mainly going to be about the multiverse from a bruce perspective. this ride is a batman focused train i’m afraid. also i want to state that this is by no means a perfect explanation – i’m a) trying to keep it simple and b) still am lost on parts of the timeline myself so. its what i can offer.

ok so, originally NCP, or the national comics publication (who will one day become DC), wrote their golden age heroes on an earth now designated as earth-2. in the 30s, just before the war, comic books absolutely exploded as a media format, and a bunch of companies all jumped the gun on creating superheroes. many of DCs most endearing and recognisable heroes were created all the way back then, however many of them also are not quite who you will recognise as the character today. hal jordan wasn’t green lantern, but was instead a man called alan scott, jay garrick was the flash instead of barry allen etc etc. don’t worry though! batman is still batman, and has been bruce wayne since 1939. earth-2 batman, as he will come to be known, is a bright kind of guy found on technicolour pages with a cute lil robin by his side – there is a reason for this. the war. literally NCP said we cant be sending out dark and gritty comics to people dying in trenches so time to make it colourful and faintly ridiculous, and bruce wayne is a surprisingly optimistic guy for a man who watched his parents be slaughtered in front of him.

of course, by the 60s, NCP (who are also sort of known as NPP and really known by your average joe as superman-dc, based on their most successful comic runs) had realised their timelines were getting a bit squiggly for their golden age heroes, and most of them had been replaced out by their silver age counterparts anyway. so between 1961 and 1963, NCP start creating another “earth”, officially designated earth-1, which would become their main planet for all kinds of superhero shenanigans. the justice society of america becomes the justice league of america, and when you think of batman, you’re probably thinking of earth-1 batman. at least pre crisis. and, once they get taste for building whole new earths, we also get earth-3 (1964), or “opposite world”, where the good guys are bad guys, and batman is owlman and instead of the jla we have the crime syndicate of america.  

so sim, what other earths did dc come up with? well, i literally refuse to list them all because it was a multiverse and they did not slow down, but the ones that are most important to me are earth-5 where the only hero to live on this planet is bruce wayne/batman, and earth-89 where lois marries bruce instead of clark ahAHAHHAA. but i can tell you that pre-crisis there are 91 designated earths, and basically it could have gone on forever. there was an earth-c minus, earth-124.1, an earth where everyone was reptiles, honestly it was a MESS. and therein lies the problem.

now i’ve just used the term “pre-crisis”. what’s that, sim? maybe you’re not very familiar with comics, or with the recent dctv version of said comics, and so i will endeavour to explain one of the most brain numbing storylines that spans DC. also known as a retcon. see all these earths with their own histories and heroes and well everything really was becoming very inconvenient and meant a lot of world jumping and who can interact with who and everything was getting like spaghetti because they couldn’t calm down on the earth-building. so DC (who are officially DC at this point, 1977 babeyy), specifically a guy called marv wolfman (coolest name ever) who was sick of so many earths, comes up with the bright idea that will later form into a comic run called crisis on infinite earths (1985-1986). it was a serious crossover event, really considered by many to be the first of its kind. it sold extremely well, boosting dc’s flagging sales against it’s biggest rival, marvel. and as for the plot, it’s a bit convoluted but essentially some bloke turns up and starts to destroy all these worlds, and it becomes a race between the heroes and villains as to who can save/conquer the remaining earths that are left. although there are crises before and after this specific run, pre-crisis basically always refers to this particular crisis event, as it really shaped DC for the next 30 years.

for a while the retcon does an okay job of keeping the number of earths low. there’s still some earths that are considered non-continuous floating around, but mainly there’s just earth-1, which is now a merger of the most important “earths” that existed pre-crisis, and a way for all of DCs heroes to now be in one place and interact with each other. other earths at this point include;

earth-23 (1986) – a small pocket dimension

earth-17 (1990) – we don’t talk about this. honestly spare yourself and. don’t look. its horrific.

earth-27 (1990) – a historically divergent planet with a hero actually called vegetable man.

earth-85 (1987) – a hodgepodge of post-crisis characters live here, chillin

earth-988 (1990) – superboy is the only hero in this universe

the antimatter universe – all of pre-crisis’ earth-3 villains, including owlman, get shoved here for later use when dc need a couple of villains to come back.

and for a while all is well. then comes DC elseworlds (1989). which. you know. i love. it gave me victorian batman. pirate batman. caveman batman. vampire batman. frankenstein batman. terrorist batman fighting against russian!superman. they even gave me marvel crossovers, with captain america meeting batman. it was a glorious time. technically elseworlds is not considered canon, ran outside of canon as a way for writers to explore those wacky kind of worlds lost to the crisis, which is dumb because some of the plot lines are both hilarious and incredible. but the numbers started to get ridiculous again. most elseworlds are named after the year that the plot takes place in, so we get earth-1889, earth-1938 etc, but even more of them just seem to have random designations. i think by the time they reached earth-5050 they sort of knew that theyd fucked up again. we’ve had zero hour, we’ve got hypertime and kingdom come, and besides, its been a while since they had a good crossover, so by the time 2005 rolls around its time for crisis pt 2 (because dc love to use the word crisis for crossovers) or as it’s officially known infinite crisis. infinite crisis has an even more confusing plot involving a bunch of slightly nuts versions of characters escaping a pocket dimension, earths being created and then merged, and a rogue ai which batman made and then has to destroy because his own creation becomes too powerful etc etc. the only good thing to come out of it was earth-0, or bizarro world, because bizarro & batzarro are my babies. don’t worry though, this new set of earths won’t last long either, as in 2008 DC conclude their trilogy of crises with final crisis that featured one of the most important events in batman’s history – darkseid “killing” him. yes the quotations are important. i’ll leave you to infer what they mean.

so 3 crises later and everything is still just as messy as they’ve ever been and there’s 60 years worth of comic history being tangled about, and marvel had already established a very successful reboot in 2000, and anything marvel do, we can do better, so DC do their first, full and proper reboot. unlike retcons before it, which is where they retroactively try to fix what people already know and simplify timelines & earths, this is like someone shaking the etch-a-sketch and starting fresh. back in infinite crisis an arbitrary number was assigned to how many “earths” there could be – 52. and so in 2011, DC go hey that’s neat and create what becomes known as the new- or nu-52. heroes are given shiny new backstories, everything is streamlined and wonderful, sales rise, DC has a clean slate to build off again.

ha.

yeah that doesn’t happen.

this reboot, also known as flashpoint, due to it being spawned from another big ol’ crossover of the same name, shows barry allen trapped in an alternate universe where everything is not quite right – his mother is alive, superman is nowhere to be found and he doesn’t have his powers. worst of all thomas wayne is batman. yeah, batman’s dad is batman. thanks DC, i hate it. reverse-flash has tried to change history and stop the jla from ever being formed – le gasp. barry goes to fix it, merges three universes together – earth-0, which isn’t a bizarro world but now the “main" earth, also called new earth or prime earth (DC), earth-13 (vertigo) and earth-50 (wildstorm), but also causes 10 years to be “lost” to these characters. there are now 52 brand spanking new earths, each sitting in their own universe as part of the multiverse. no one remembers anything except barry. even for a reboot and convergence of DC’s franchises, it’s messy as fuck. and it goes to shit very very quickly. people don’t really like n-52. DC have cancelled everything, certain characters such as cassandra cain-wayne are fucking ERASED from existence, no one likes the new costume designs, its an absolute shit show and the plots get very confusing very quickly.

so what do DC do?

they reboot again. sigh.

only 5 years after the mess of nu-52, they produce DC rebirth, a new relaunch of all their famous runs. brainiac does some magic and collects a bunch of worlds together and magically we’re all going to forget the last 5 years of comic hell. it is a reboot to retcon flashpoint as though that never happened. yes, DC are actually retconning their own reboots. talk about sweeping it under the carpet. technically “rebirth” only ran for a year as a promotional thing for the reboot, before joining with the larger, now-singular DC universe, however everyone still calls it rebirth because if we don’t give these things names it will get even more fucking confusing than it already is. rebirth also still has 52 universes making up the DC multiverse, just to make things even more simple and easy to understand (DC what is it with 52. why 52.) although lots of the earths in this multiverse have been re-designated – eg. pre-crisis earth-31 was home to an aged batman who fakes his death to go train a bunch of new vigilantes (the dark knight returns), and now 31 is an apocalyptic wasteland or some shite. a lot of these earths were re-designated during the flashpoint/nu-52 era, and even though rebirth was supposed to erase that, DC have decided never mind we’ll keep it. there’s also 7 mysteriously undesignated earths – ooh spooky, they definitely won’t feature in the next major crossover. also for a multiverse with 52 universes, they sure do have more than 52 : there’s the microverse, a bunch of universes collectively called “the sphere of the gods” where apokalips and like, literal heaven & hell exist, an innerverse???, dreamworld, limbo, DC are taking the piss they only said there were 52 earths but that means they can make as many other shitty dimensions and pocket-universes as they please apparently. don’t even get me started on the source wall. for the most part the writers just. don’t acknowledge this and stick to the main prime earth. for the most part. thanks for throwing thomas wayne as batman back into the mix, rebirth.

so that’s the last of it, right sim? eh, almost. it should have been the last of it, really. and then geoff johns couldn't keep his mouth shut and produced possibly the worst comic in recent history, if not ever, doomsday clock. now doomsday clock is a nightmare for an impossibly long list of reasons that i won’t get into here because this isn’t a rant about why i think doomsday clock is the worst thing to ever happen to dc (although that’s a catchy title i should use that some day) - no, the reason i bring up doomsday clock is because. oh my god even saying this makes me sad. doomsday clock proves that the pre-crisis universes still exist and are still out there. somewhere. canonically. sim why is that sad i thought you liked everything pre-52. it’s sad because it means at any point now, DC could bring them back, ruin their own legacy, make everything even more confusing than it already is. i love pre-52 stuff but you gotta leave it alone. currently doomsday clock has only established that these universes exist as a way to honour every era of superman, because DC didn’t want to completly erase some of the incredible work and storylines put into him as a character. fine, fair enough. but it does leave the possibility that they will try and return to them too. comic book writers love doing funky story lines like that. they think they need to write something that’s never been done before and instead of coming up with something actually unique, they just poke around in the multiverse WHICH IS HOW WE ENDED UP WITH THIS AS A PROBLEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

ahem.

hopefully this helped clarify some stuff for people, especially those folks who aren’t big comic fans/expereience dc through the DCEU or DCTV, when encountering rpers who say they base their characterisation off of, for example pre-n52/flashpoint comics, like myself.

oh, and thank you for coming to my ted sim talk.

[redhoodieone]

Don’t Tell Me Part 3

Don’t Tell Me Part 3

A/N: Okay!!! Here is Part 3 to “Don’t Tell Me” and I gotta say…it’s a little darker than I intended for it to be. Of course, I took Tim Drake’s storyline from “Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker.” In this particular story, Tim (as a young fairly new Robin, of course) was kidnapped by the Joker and was tortured mentally and physically for three weeks until Batman found him and saved him. After Tim healed, Bruce believed Tim was fine because after everything that happened, Tim seemed happy and normal. But…as the story goes…maybe Tim never healed and never got over what happened, especially since Tim’s a very emotional person.

But what will the Batfamily have to do now that Tim’s an enemy? Can they save him, or will Tim possibly have the same fate as Joker?

 Warnings: Language, bird killing, betrayal, and more later on.

   Jason didn’t know what to expect when he discovered Y/N was pregnant with his child, let alone what to expect when he would actually become...a father. Father... Jason Todd had a father once, before he became a ruthless crook, and went to prison. Even after, he never returned home. Jason’s mother and himself had more than a rocky relationship between drug addiction, and soon found himself alone on the streets. Which gave poor street rat Jason an opportunity to steal the Bat-mobile’s tires...and the rest is history. Bruce was a good father to him; despite his and Jason’s constant ups and downs. After the longest time of feeling replaced and betrayed, Jason even forgave Bruce and learned to love Tim as a younger brother. But in the end, Jason always considered Bruce his father, and even secretly thought that if he were to become a father, he would hope to be a worthy one as Bruce. But Jason knew he would never admit it out loud. Who would believe Jason had thought once or twice about being married and having children? No one, especially those who knew him as an angry, scarred, and troubled young man. But underneath the hard and difficult armor, Jason had always wished to have his own family at one point in his life. Ha. Family. Family... Jason still couldn’t believe Y/N is pregnant. The thought of a beautiful, wonderful, and kind woman like her carrying his child makes his heart soar and expand, as if finally, he could have the family he’s secretly hoped for most of his life.

He silently hopes Y/N got pregnant the night of his birthday, but he wouldn’t count on it. He admits he knows nothing about how conceiving works besides sex and wouldn’t know how to do the math to figure it out.

If anything, he just remembers how Y/N looked underneath him; with her hair spread out on the pillow, the sweat beading on her forehead, her breasts bouncing, and her kissable lips parted when she tried to breathe but Jason kept knocking the air from her lungs.

The fact that Y/N is even pregnant with Jason’s child makes him want her more.

But Y/N’s pregnancy is a secret to everyone else, except himself of course. Jason knew about her secret doctor’s appointments. But Jason’s questions were answered when he spied on Y/N throwing away her failed birth control.

The sickness, the little bump, and how Y/N keeps to herself just proves she’s different than before. Jason knew he was guilty as Y/N was; even when she didn’t keep up with taking her birth control, he didn’t wear condoms on most of their sexual activities because he wanted to feel her hot, wet, and tight pussy with just his bare cock. And a condom would surely prevent his fantasies and desires with Y/N.

Is it a boy? He would surely convince Y/N to name the little boy after him, since Jason was positive his son would be the spitting image of him (looks and personality, of course) and it would just make sense for a Jason Peter Todd, Jr. Is it a girl? Oh...Jason knew if he were going to have a daughter, he would love her with all his heart and do whatever it takes to protect her and Y/N for the rest of his life. Maybe this is life’s way of forgiving him, for all his sins and mistakes, so Jason can finally have the happy ending he deserves. And maybe...just maybe...Jason can be the man he’s always wanted to be. “Red Hood, you imbecile! Your communicator’s off!” Robin spats, and lands beside Batman, who are now behind Red Hood. “Are you asking to die, Todd?” “Robin...” Batman warns. His voice already deep and low, and his Bat glare already permanent on his face. “No personal names called in costumes.” “Yeah, you little shithead! What the hell do you guys want?” Red Hood snaps and twists his body around to face them. After patrolling for a couple of hours and with only a mugging and some goons stealing from a jewelry store, Jason found himself bored, and sitting next to his favorite gargoyle. He stands, and towers over Robin. “I already did my job around here, and so far, nothing has happened.” Batman growls. Jason knew his attitude and mouth weren’t helping the situation. “Okay fine, what’s going on now?” Red Hood asks as kindly as he could, which isn’t a lot. “The Joker has been missing for three days.” “So, what else is new? Joker’s been missing before, and we find him, kick his ass, and throw him back in fucking Arkham. And when he’s out again, we repeat. How’s this time any different?” Red Hood questions. “No clues. No sightings. No lead. This is different. I don’t know what he has planned this time,” Batman answers grimly. “Usually, Father and Drake always know the Joker’s actions and schemes before he does. This escape seems as if it was calculated before Joker could even thoroughly plan it himself. The escape may have been designed outside of Arkham, from a source who knows every detail of the premises and is well informed with the employee’s schedule to successfully bail him out. The question is, who could have pulled it off?” Robin asks, he hums in questioning. “Names...Robin,” Batman reminds. “Sorry,” Robin mumbles. “It’s a damn habit...” “Look, normally I would have already ranted about how your golden rule of “not killing and justice not vengeance” would have ended this cat and mouse game YEARS ago, but this is not new, Batman. I can’t fucking count how many times you’ve practically allowed Catwoman to walk out of Arkham for a booty call, or how you hand over the bad guys to Arkham for them to escape within one day. What’s so special about this one particular Joker escape?” Red Hood explains, and even lifts his gloved hand to count his fingers to name off a few ideas. “Is he going to blow up Gotham? He’s tried and failed miserably before. Is he going to kidnap Robin to attempt to turn him against you? He’s tried a million times, and it’s only worked once but that was taken care of. Is he planning to Batnap you and propose to you on top of Wayne Enterprises, because of the whole ‘chase me and I can’t live without you’ running joke, while the rest of us are tied up and gagged with bombs strapped to our chests? Maybe...” “Red Hood!” Batman shouts angrily. “Hold on, he might be onto something...” Robin considers it. “What? It’s not like Joker’s tried that yet. It’s just a fucking suggestion, old man,” Red Hood defends himself. Nightwing jumps down into a kneeling position and faces his father and brothers. A somber frown is on his face, and he gives off a negative vibe. Something’s wrong, and the rest know it. “Where’s Red Robin?” Batman asks Nightwing. “I don’t know. He hasn’t been answering his communicator all night. I can’t even get Oracle to trace it,” Nightwing answers truthfully, despite his eyes not meeting anyone’s. He exhales, and finally forces himself to look up to his father. “I...I think something’s wrong with him, Batman.” Batman breathes deeply, and walks closer to Nightwing. “What do you mean, Nightwing?” “This...this isn’t the first time this has happened. Oracle noticed he’s been MIA for a week. He hasn’t been cooperating. He hasn’t been patrolling with anyone,” Nightwing lists off his concerns. “Oh please, Grayson. Drake slacking off is hardly a concern or issue to even be worried about him. Perhaps he’s being too intimate with Y/N. He’s most likely back at the Manor, doing the baby-making process I’ve been reading up on lately. I would like a nephew, and I hope Drake’s sperm cells are sufficient swimmers and impregnate Y/N rather quickly. She has been different lately...perhaps she already is with child,” Damian reveals. “Damian!” Batman growls enraged. Jason felt his heart beat faster than before. Just hearing about Tim trying to be intimate with Y/N makes his blood boil like a volcano. “No, that-that’s not what I’m trying to talk about,” Nightwing sighs, and shakes his head. “I don’t want to say this...but I guess I’m the only one who can tell you the truth.” “Nightwing,” Batman begins and pauses instantly. He fears the worst. Batman knows he would be a fool to think all is well when the world keeps getting darker and shittier every day. “Just tell me the truth.” With one last sigh, Nightwing’s teary eyes look up to Batman’s. “O-Oracle...she has...reason to believe...t-that Tim was the one who released the Joker out.” The air got thicker. The silence between the four men shocked them; and made them question why Tim Drake would help the Joker escape. If anyone knew Bruce Wayne, they would say he’s a loving, protective father of all his children. And if one is being accused of something horrific and questionable, he would defend them until he died. “What did you just say, Dick?” Batman asks, appearing to have not heard Nightwing clearly. “W-we think Tim is responsible for allowing the Joker to escape. Y-you see, Oracle was able to go through Arkham Asylum’s surveillance cameras, and Tim had to be the one to get passed all of them successfully,” Nightwing explains hastily. “So, he’s not even on camera?” “Well, no but-“ “Then you have nothing to prove your accusation. If you have no evidence, then you can’t accuse Tim of doing something as wrong as letting an insane, murderous, criminal out of Arkham,” Batman says angrily. His breathing is uneven, and his temper is about to burst. “Let me just explain it,” Nightwing tries to reason. “No, no I don’t want to listen to your reasons, Dick. H-how dare you accuse Timothy of doing this? If anything, why not accuse Jason or Damian?” Batman yells, unable to keep his rage under control. The brothers stepped back, because Batman’s anger is frightening; even to them growing up. “Why not accuse me? After all, I don’t kill, and when I don’t kill, they’ll just keep escaping, murdering innocent people, and destroy every ounce of happiness I gain for only a short while. Because maybe I did it. Maybe Alfred did it, too.” “Do not bring Pennyworth into this,” Robin threatens. “Just listen to me for a minute. He wasn’t caught on cameras, but couldn’t someone who knows Arkham as well as us have done the job and not get caught? It would have to take a genius to go in undetected, do the job, and get out as if nothing happened? The only problem with this theory is, what would Tim get out of it? Why would he want the Joker out?” Nightwing clarifies his case. Batman stays silent. He turns to face Red Hood and Robin. “He...he wouldn’t, though. He is different. He’s always so aware and sure of everything. Why would he do this?” Batman whispers, mostly to himself. “He never had a bad past; not like the rest of us. I...I always thought he was going to stay good. I thought I would never have to worry about him.” Jason couldn’t believe this. He didn’t want to believe Dick, but something in his gut was telling him to hear him out. Could someone as good as Tim really turn bad? Would Tim happen to know his and Y/N’s secret? Oracle beeps into Nightwing’s communicator. “Go ahead Oracle.” “Nightwing...I-I have some bad news for you. Well, for all of you really. Get online now,” Oracle commands. Red Hood pushes a button inside his helmet where he is watching the screen load the video. Batman and Nightwing look down to their wrists where a screen lights up, that links them online with Oracle and Alfred. A shaky video loads, and it appears someone unknown is recording a brown shoe box, where a dark and reddish bird, a robin to be exact, is lying down dead with its eyes open outside of a nest with two small bird eggs inside. “Well! Isn’t this precious! This robin birdie was a mother,” the voice belongs to Joker. His high screeching laugh made the men silently gasp. The camera moves away from the mother bird and zooms in on the eggs. “Aww...new life. They say in death, live continues on...but not for these unborn children.” The camera then turns around and Joker’s face takes up the entire screen. His dark eyes send shivers down the Batman and Batboy’s bodies. His painted red lips curved up into a deadly smile. “I finally have your attention now, Bats? You’re probably asking yourself, ‘Now why would the Joker attack and brutally kill a bird, who just laid her eggs, and didn’t have the beautiful opportunity to see her children hatch from their little eggs, and take that first breath in this dark, evil, and deadly world I, Joker reign in?’ You know, while I usually take my sick pleasure in torturing your family Bats, or some innocent people I don’t even know or care about. But I must say Bats...even your family can surprise me!” Joker laughs hysterically, before he dramatically frowns. With a hand holding his cheek, his mouth opens wide. “And let’s just say, this wouldn’t all be possible without your third Robin...” Batman growled and shut his eyes tightly. This was too much for him. Red Hood feels his insides burning with rage. No, no there’s no way Joker could know...he thought to himself. Tim wouldn’t do this... “I am beyond surprised Bats! Even I couldn’t have done this all by myself! After all, who would have thought that the second former dead Robin would have knocked up a woman, who is supposedly dating your third Robin? Did you know that, Bats? The so-called damned Prince of Gotham knocked up the Batfamily slut, Y/N Y/LN. Now that’s a mouthful! And now I bet you’re wondering where your faithful and more-than alive Robin is,” Joker says, and turns the camera and it zooms in on Tim Drake, dresses from head to toe in his former Robin costume but painted in exact Joker makeup. “Who would I thought I could manipulate and influence his mind twice? He must not be as sane as you believed, Bats!” Batman’s breathing heavily in panic. When Tim Drake was younger, Joker managed to kidnap him and manipulate him into being Joker’s son. But luckily Batman was able to treat him and stop Joker’s influence from taking over his mind. But maybe Joker is right. Maybe Tim isn’t as sane and good as he once believed. Red Hood watches in complete horror how Tim glances up at the camera and smiles, very similar and terrifying as Joker’s. “Whoever this Robin was...his spirit is destroyed, as I have destroyed the second’s, and even yours, Bats!” Joker cackles. Joker turns the camera once more as he holds up the robin’s eggs to the lens. “Oh, and as for these baby birds? I can’t wait to eat them, just like I can’t wait to eat yours, Red Hoodie!” Joker tosses back the robin’s eggs into his mouth and his teeth breaks apart the poor, unborn birds’ eggshells. The liquid from the eggs, blood, and flesh stick to his teeth, creating a grayish ooze with blood, and his maniac eyes shine as his laugh echoes throughout the tape. “Now, that was very delicious! Those robin eggs were tasty, and I know Red Hoodie’s and Y/N’s will be very tasty too! Isn’t that right, Y/N?” Joker asks, and turns the camera to face Y/N, lying on a dirty, torn up hospital bed, but she appeared to be groggy and unresponsive to her name. “Well, she’s just tired because being pregnant with Red Hood’s baby MUST be exhausting! That kid’ll come out like a cannonball!”

Jason clenched his teeth and fists. He was pissed off; angry and frustration weren’t enough. A sudden strong energy takes over his body. He feels the urge to protect his love, and his child. No matter what. Even if he must kill Joker.

Jason no longer cares about the golden rule. The love of his life and unborn child are in danger, and if he doesn’t find them, he’d lose them both.

He’d even lose Tim…his brother.

“I’ll even eat her egg when she’s just three months along! You know me Bats!” Joker’s laugh ends when the tape ends.

The screens are off when Red Hood notices Batman, Nightwing, and Robin are glaring at him. “We’ll talk more about that at home. Until then, we need to find the Joker, and save Tim and Y/N,” Batman announces, and motions the boys to follow him. “How dangerous could Drake even be? He has the anger and the strength of a toddler,” Robin claims sarcastically. Batman stops, and faces his sons. There is the worry, the anger, the tears in his eyes he can’t fight back anymore. “None of you remember how Tim was back then. You had your own life Dick, the solo career as Nightwing. Jason, you were back into Gotham with your vengeance. And Damian, I didn’t even know you existed. So, none of you were there when Tim was just starting off as my Robin. He was a happy kid, a kid who loved to learn and be the best. But Joker got to him before me. He tortured him for three weeks. Brain washed him. Torment him mentally and physically. Used him as a solider to get back at me. But because of Tim’s natural innocence and happiness, he was made a perfect target. Tim…was and still is an emotional guy. If something were to snap in his head, it would be the end for him. If he wanted to, Tim could have killed hundreds, maybe even thousands, just to hurt me. Tim was and still is the perfect solider, and I’m going to be the one who pays, again,” Batman confesses. “Why would you pay? I’m the one who should be paying for what I’ve done,” Red Hood asks quietly. Batman releases a choked sob. “Because I knew about Tim’s pain...and I never helped him. I didn’t think he’d ever need help.”

“What do you mean?” Nightwing asks. “Did you know this was bound to happen?”

“Yes. I knew it was eventually going to happen. And now that it’s happened…I have to stop him myself.”

Jason knew what Bruce meant, and while Bruce may have a plan, Jason knew he wasn’t going to stand beside him when it comes down to the Joker.

Jason wants nothing more than to put a bullet through the Joker’s skull.

“If he hurts Y/N, the baby, and Tim,” Jason chokes out before he manages to pull himself together. Hot tears are streaming down his cheeks, and he thanks God he has his hood on. “I’m going to kill the Joker. I don’t give a fuck about your golden rule anymore. If you get in my way, I’ll kill you too. If you kill me right after, I’d still not give a shit. Because what’s it going to take for you to realize he’s a fucking monster who’ll keep doing this over and over again until you’re the last one standing? So, how many more people have to die or be crippled for you to see he needs to die? Me?! Barbara?! Tim?! Y/N?! My fucking unborn child?! Or does Alfred, Dick, or Damian have to be the last ones for you to see it?” Jason screams.

Batman exhales. A pained look is on his face, and he looks defeated already.

“Maybe this time…I won’t stop you from doing that…if it needs to be done.”