#i love that janus has these extra limbs

[analogicalreasoning]

He would.

He needs that wine.

[ozzgin]

I love your work! It is so hard to find good Baki writers. Could you please do a Yujiro x Female fighter reader. I feel like Yujiro would actually start falling head over heels with a reader who fights well and is as sadistic as him.

Thank you! And yes, realistically speaking - or at least what makes most sense in my opinion - Yuujirou would go for someone that not only is submissive to him (because any human would then suffice), but also shows impressive skill and strength. There’s an interesting idea that I once read in the introduction of “The Gates of Janus”, the book written by serial killer Ian Brady. The foreword author argued that Ian is what you’d call a rat king, an alpha above most alphas, and that for such personalities, most of the time, an equally dominant woman is sought for as a partner. Naturally she’d submit to him still, but only a woman of high dominance could keep up with this kind of intense character. This mentality felt a bit outdated and potentially misogynistic to me, but I think it really fits in the case of Yuujirou. Sorry for the ramble.

Yandere! Yuujirou Hanma x Fighter! Reader

Featuring The Ogre and a female reader that nearly matches him in strength and ruthlessness. TW: Dubious consent, violence.

[Baki Masterlist]

Yuujirou can have anyone in the world, whether man or woman. It’s not up to them, really. It’s up to his mood and whims. And when he can have just about anyone, actually finding someone worth his interest becomes a difficult task. He doesn’t need an extra weight to drag around and as far as he’s concerned, commitment is not something he requires in his life. What would be the point?

No, for someone of his status, commitment doesn’t come as moral etiquette or requirement for a relationship. He has considered it, and in theory it could only be offered out of his genuine interest and never demanded by someone else. For The Ogre himself to fixate on one person and never wander eyes anywhere else… They would really have to impress him. Guarantee him that this is a one time deal never to be found again. And once that person is found, they’d do well to perform their role as his partner because there is no way out of it.

Lamentably, such temptation has never crossed his path. That is until a feminine figure strides into the ring of the Underground Arena. Yuujirou is ready to burst with laughter, but he’s quickly silenced by the rather abrupt end of the match. The mysterious character remains unfazed by the opponent’s blow and uses the opportunity to swiftly twist and crush the offensive limb. With the same indifference plastered on the face throughout the agonizing wails of the much larger man, she delivers her ending move and within seconds the arena is quiet again. After recollecting himself from this unexpected succession, Yuujirou turns to Strydum that’s been watching with similar amazement. “Who the hell is that?” He grunts. “I don’t know. Should I find out?”

Sometimes Yuujirou will replay the encounter in his head. He still gets shivers of raw excitement whenever he remembers your eyes back then. That utterly defiant glare. Strydum had asked you to meet them in private and as you entered the room, you immediately demanded to know why you’d been summoned. The Colonel begun fumbling in terror, almost begging you indirectly to not upset the redheaded man. “M-Mr. Hanma wished to see you, Miss (Y/N)-“ he was interrupted by your resounding snarl. “And who the fuck is Mr. Hanma to afford such audacity?” At that moment Yuujirou stood up, hands in pockets but visibly tensed up. You instinctively clenched your fists and frowned at the unspoken difference in power. The Ogre was halfway expecting you to fold and apologize, but after a minute your expression relaxed and your confidence returned. “Bitch. You’d rather die than give up your pride, huh?” He smirked at the thought. There was something about your attitude that greatly pissed him off but also turned him on at the same time.

The hardest part is getting you to accept him as your partner. See, Yuujirou will never beg or ask nicely. On the other hand, he’d rather not kill you, and severely damaging you in any way would take away the fun that caught his attention in the first place. That’s the dilemma: you’re stubborn and he can’t use force. Then again it’s not like he’s a mindless brute. Quite the opposite, only if he feels like it. A little charm with a dash of intimidation and you should be convinced, right? Don’t push it, (Y/N). If he really has to choose, he’d rather have you dead than belonging to someone else. It’s either him or nothing.

Really, it’s to your advantage if you learn to behave. He can give you everything you desire. He’s rather experienced in spoiling his women, and for you he’ll go the extra mile. Knowing he tamed you of all people is all the payment he could ever ask for. The satisfaction of putting you in your place, of having you cling to him fills him with greedy pride. A cocky smile distorts his features whenever the realization hits. If there’s such a thing as a soulmate, he’s found his. Although he doesn’t believe in that kind of bullshit.

A frightening pair in the eyes of most people. The Ogre relishes in the fact that displaying you as his woman has further increased his reputation instead of signaling any trace of weakness. As the time passes his conviction only strengthens: there’s no other place for you. You’re all his. Yet his favorite detail, what makes him flushed and dazed and addicted, is that no matter what he does to you as you lay there sprawled, naked, broken, your dignity never leaves. That prideful gaze that leers back at him makes him feel like he’s facing a mirror.

[candied-peach]

ao3: "i'm afraid we won't be leaving" rating: T warnings: prinxiety, remus shenanigans mentioned genre: fluff description: Roman's not been sleeping. Virgil has a fix for that. (for anonymous: "tss fluff prompts.... prinxiety and a nap?")

Roman's jaw cracks in a yawn as he covers his mouth with one ink-spattered hand. He's been struck with a burst of creativity the past few days, so he's been working extra hard for Thomas. A bundle of scripts lay untidily stacked on a corner of his desk, and he's steadily plowing through another. This is good. This is great! Sure, he hasn't really slept in three days, but he doesn't need it! Not when energy thrums through his veins, exhaustion be damned. He's been drinking and eating for the most part (Virgil keeps dragging him off to meals and replenishing his water bottle). All in all, he is doing fantastically and he's so proud of himself. What would Logan say if he could see Roman now? Buckling down and getting the work done? 

"Ro," Virgil's voice intrudes. Roman's mouth turns down into a pout before he can stop himself. He loves his boyfriend. He really does. Virgil is incredible and Roman doesn't know how he managed to get so lucky as to have Virgil say yes.

But Virgil doesn't understand how important it is for him to keep going when he's in the groove like this! He needs to finish it! Anxiety plucks at his heart strings, sending little shocks of worry throughout his nervous system. 

"Ro, you need to sleep," Virgil says, resting his chin on Roman's shoulder.

"I'm nearly done," Roman argues absently. Virgil eyes him, and Roman finds his face reddening.

"No, you aren't," Virgil says. "I can tell you're lying from a mile away, Princey. Are you trying to get Janus's attention?"

"No!" Roman sputters, still red-faced. "I'm just- I'm not at a good stopping point, Dark and Stormy, just let me-" He wheedles. Virgil raises a dubious eyebrow.

"I don't think so," Virgil says, tugging Roman's chair out from his desk and spinning him around. Roman squeaks, nearly dropping his pen. 

"Virgil!" Roman exclaims. 

"Roman!" Virgil echoes his intonation. "You need a nap, darling. Come on. Up you get." He tugs at Roman's wrists. "I promise, I will let you get back to it once you've had a nap."

"But what if I forget my thought process?" Roman asks, his eyebrows scrunching together in worry. "I need to get this done, I told Thomas and Logan I'd have this done by the end of the week-"

"Darling, it's Wednesday," Virgil calmly points out. "You still have a few days to get it done. You won't finish it if you collapse instead."

"You're supposed to be on my side," Roman playfully accuses. "What happened to Anxiety prodding Thomas to get his shit done?"

"I realized self care is also important, and you'll get nothing done if you don't sleep," Virgil retorts, deadpan. "I will give you one minute to write down some notes for what you want to do, and that's it."

Seizing his opportunity, Roman whirls his chair back around, grabbing a spare sheet of notebook paper and scribbling down as many thoughts as his crammed-full brain could spit at him. All too soon, the minute is up, and Virgil is plucking the pen out of his hands.

"Nap time," Virgil insists. Roman throws him a pleading look.

"Now darling-" Roman starts, but Virgil just leans forward and kisses his nose, cutting him off mid-sentence.

"You look exhausted," Virgil informs him. "Your bags have bags and are moving cross-country. You look like you're wearing my eyeshadow, babe. Come on."

"Fine," Roman grumpily acquiesces. Virgil helps him stand and fatigue weighs every limb down as he is suddenly accosted with exhaustion. He wobbles and Virgil steadies him with a sympathetic smile. His opulent red and gold-draped bed looks more welcoming by the second.

"Just a few more feet," Virgil encourages him softly.

"You'll nap with me, won't you?" Roman asks. Virgil nods immediately.

"Of course, Princey," Virgil says. A soft, sappy look spreads across Roman's face as he sits down on the edge of the bed and snaps himself and Virgil into their pajamas. He yawns again and Virgil pushes him back onto the bed, crawling in after him.

"Go to sleep, love," Virgil says. The soft sound of rushing water fills the room, as Roman nonverbally turns on his noise machine. He can't handle the quiet otherwise, and Virgil's soft breaths aren't enough white noise to help.

"Love you, stormcloud," Roman murmurs. His eyelids feel like they have five pound weights attached to them. Virgil kisses him, then peppers more kisses across his cheeks.

"Love you, too, Princey," Virgil says, his voice so thick with fondness, it makes Roman's heart swell. "Your work will still be there when you wake up. Promise."

Hearing that, Roman immediately snaps his fingers to turn on the Anti-Remus Wards, just in case, and Virgil laughs.

"Point taken," Virgil says. "Now it will still be there."

"I know my brother," Roman mumbles, already halfway to dream land. Virgil curls up tight against him, one arm draped over his middle, and Roman's breathing slows, evening out.

He sleeps for hours and when he wakes up, his door is streaked with green slime that seems to be smoking.

But his work is untouched.

[xlehukax]

Thank You For The Music

Foreword: This is for the Sanders Sides Gift Exchange! Analogical Soulmate Au, as requested by @romantichopelessly! Happy holidays. And there’s also a playlist!  @sanderssidesgiftxchange! 

Ships: Logan x Virgil, (Background) Patton x Janus 

Word Count: 8374 

Warnings: SelectiveMute!Virgil, like one fight scene, Cursing, Logan’s ignoring feelings, it’s mainly the Logan and Virgil show... I don’t think there’s really anything! 

Summary: Logan’s been asked to assist a local student on campus. Having nothing else to do, he agrees: and so starts a connection that he would’ve never expected, and one that flowers more beautifully than he could ever imagine. (Soulmates can hear each other sing in their heads: Italics are either singing or sign language) 

~~~~~

Somehow, Logan thought his fourth year in College would feel different. Like he’s gone on some sort of journey: like he’s learned in the education manner but also in the lifestyle sort of way. 

It doesn’t appear that way. It seems like Logan’s the same. 

No friends. 

No challenges. 

Nothing to be excited about whatsoever. He’s going to college for the degree at this point, and the title alone. It’s why when the professor for his Microbiology class asks him to stay after, it shocks him. Especially so close to the end of the semester. 

Is he not doing enough? A quick inventory of his mind ensures that he hasn’t forgotten anything. The professor must need something: she’s taken a shine to him anyway, it probably isn’t bad. Logan gathers his things and then places them carefully in their individual places in his bag: once everything is where it belongs, in pockets and folders and sections, Logan presents himself to the professor. She smiles at him over the top of her laptop, eyes sparkling with mirth before shutting the lid of the machine. 

“Thank you for seeing me, Logan,” she grins. 

“I’m going to be blunt here: why have you asked me to stay? I assume that there is nothing out of order.” 

“No, no… your grades are impeccable, participation is great, and you’ve been fantastic. It’s simply that you’re so outstanding that I want to ask a favor,” his professor asks shrewdly. Logan hums for a moment, debating, before wincing in pain and clutching his temple. 

“Logan! Are you alright, dear?” 

“Ah, yes. It’s merely my soulmate,” he says by way of explanation. The professor smiles broadly. 

“How fantastic! Anything good?”

Logan quickly takes stock of the song: his mystery mate sang Overkill yesterday during Office Hours, and Sally’s Song the day before that while he was at his college apartment. He only knew because a) these were repeating songs, and b) he’d looked them up right away. Listened to them after the music fades to hold them close. 

It’s funny that he never once thinks that the original is better in any sense than the sweet song of his soulmate. His (Logan’s assumed it’s a he, based on his own sexuality and interests) music is so sweet: his voice is lilting and beautiful and it makes Logan feel so guilty. So guilty, because he must be the most beautiful man in the world and Logan hasn’t given him anything. Logan does not… sing. 

And in a world where you hear your soulmate’s singing in your own head, it’s a betrayal. 

“So? What is it?” the professor’s voice snaps him back to reality. 

“Oh, I’m not sure. It seems to go… oh, oh, oh, I got a love that keeps me waiting. Oh, oh, oh, I got a love that keeps me waiting. I’m a lonely boy, I’m a lonely boy,” he repeats the song in a monotone. The professor snaps her fingers. 

“Ah, The Black Keys. Lonely Boy, a classic!! It’s a good song, your soulmate has some bloody good taste. And, what are you doing, letting them be lonely like that?” she winks at him, “It’s quite the song.” 

“I do not see how this is relative to our conversation,” Logan deadpans, tired of this discourse already. If it has nothing to do with academics, he doesn’t want to hear it. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I got off-topic. Anyway, you know ASL right?” 

“Indeed.” 

“Perfect,” she smiles gently, getting up from the desk and dusting herself off, “There’s a student at the school, it’s his second year: he’s mute and uses primarily ASL to communicate. So far, he’s been surviving by being with his brother. But the brother is changing schools after this semester to go to a better nursing school and… well, we need someone to look after Virgil. Virgil Williams is the name of the student and Patton Williams’s the brother. There’s not a lot of students who know ASL here, and from what I’ve heard you don’t really participate in extracurricular activities. This would be not only a great way to flesh out your resumé but also simply a great thing to do, you know, humanitarian wise. Would you be up for it?” 

Logan considers for a moment. It’s true, he doesn’t do a whole lot outside of schoolwork: he does tend to have too much free time spent re-reading books. It doesn’t have to be anything special: it’s only helping this kid when he needs it. No problem whatsoever: he’s tutored people before, it’ll be similar. 

“I don’t see why not. Do I have an opportunity to meet with them before I agree completely?” 

“Oh, of course! They should be at their dorm now… here’s the dorm number,” she passes him a slip of paper and what this job will entail and waves him off. The dorm’s only a short walk away: it’ll be less than a ten-minute walk from the lecture hall if he crosses the Courtyard. 

Logan walks briskly: he doesn’t require the extra exercise due to his rigorous workout schedule but it’s always nice to stretch his limbs. He breaks into a light jog, his bag bouncing slightly on his back as he moves, and makes it there in exactly 8.7 minutes instead of 10. Logan wipes the sweat from his brow with a cloth before entering the dormitories and heading to the shared Williams dorm. It’s on the third floor, right outside the elevators. 

Logan takes the stairs. 

He combats a sudden influx of nerves at the door: swallows it deep and regulates his features. Professional, he thinks to himself. Be professional. 

His knock is answered immediately as if they were standing at the door. Logan’s presented with a man who breaks out into a broad smile immediately: his hair is pulled up into a small bundle at the top of his head, sparse brown curls sticking out haphazardly. He’s quite large and strong-looking: he’d be intimidating if his eyes didn’t have that same sort of sparkle that the professor did, his large circle-rimmed glasses hiding absolutely nothing. 

“Oh!! You must be the guy the Prof knew!! Hello! I’m Patton!! It’s so great to meet you!! Agh, I’m so excited! Well, Virgil too,” he grins. Logan blinks. He is… a lot. 

“Greetings. I am Logan,” Logan signs the words alongside the verbal words to demonstrate his fluency. Patton squeals and Logan winces. 

“Haha, sorry about that. Again, eee! So excited! I’ll introduce you to Virgil,” Patton holds the door ajar for Logan to enter, gesturing to the small pile of shoes to remove his. Logan gently unties his trainers and places them beside a pair of Doc Martens and Toms. They’re about as different as they could be: one is black and bulky with thick purple laces, the others a sky blue with little paw prints. Polar opposites. Logan diverts his attention to Patton, who’s been jabbering on about something or other. 

“-and there he is! Virgil, come on out kiddo- meet Logan!” Patton coos at what at first glance seems to be a shadow but in reality is a man who practically hides by the door of the conjoined bedroom. He’s encompassed by an oversized hoodie. 

“Hello, it is nice to meet you, Virgil,”  he signs out silently. Patton bites his lip to stop himself from speaking, but his noises of excitement escape anyway. Virgil signs back a meek hello: his hood falls off in the process, and Logan scrutinizes the face that he’s apparently going to be assisting for a while. 

Virgil has long dark hair: unkempt and uncut, old dye lingering stubbornly on the tips of it. His eyelashes are long, drooping over his cheeks, as he avoids Logan’s gaze. He possesses dark circles under each eye- so dark it seems intentional. Virgil tugs his hood over his head the moment the silence stretches a bit too long, and he’s gone: a rabbit ducking into a hole. Logan wishes he’d put the hood back down. 

In all regards, Logan means to say that Virgil holds palpable beauty. 

The idea within itself isn’t strange: Logan understands the various societal norms and standards that society adheres to beauty and usually makes deductions off of that, but there is… something about Virgil. Virgil’s not muscular looking, or overly lean, or anything of the sort. He’s simply…  enchanting. 

“Well, say something!” Patton shouts, breaking the silence. “Or, I mean, sign something, Virge. It’s too stifled in here: do either of you want something to drink?” 

“Water?” Virgil signs. His hands are shaking.

“I’ll have one of those too,” Logan adds on. Patton smiles at the two of them and finger guns. “You can hear, correct?” Logan asks, keeping his tone easy. He makes sure to enunciate each of his words, just in case. Virgil blinks up at him moonishly. 

“Yes,” Virgil says, worrying at his lip. 

“You don’t need to be afraid. I’m only here to help you,” Logan attempts to smile at him comfortingly: judging by Virgil’s expression, it seems more like a grimace. “Let’s sit down and talk about this, alright?” Logan sighs. He pulls out a chair at their small table and lets Virgil sit in it, pushing him in. Immediately after, Virgil pulls his legs to his chest and wraps his arms around them. He’s vanished completely into his hoodie. 

Logan sits next to him, rather than across: he doesn’t want to make him feel like he’s being interrogated. 

“I’m sorry,” Virgil says. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for?” Logan replies, more of a question than an assurance. “My apologies Virgil, but you’re not trying to impress me. I am simply here to introduce myself so that I can begin to help you. I am here for you. You can take as long as you want.” 

Virgil peeks out from under the hoodie like a prairie dog emerges from a hole. Hair first, then curious eyes, then his hands. 

Logan smiles. 

“Now, let’s draw up a contract here, to outline what we’ll be doing this year. I do believe,” he retrieves the papers the professor had given him, “that you already have a solution for classes, so you will not require my assistance there. It’s more after school hours and personal activities, no?” 

Virgil nods meekly. 

So… Virgil just needs a… friend? A friend who knows ASL? Logan’s heart swells in his chest: Virgil just needs a friend. 

Logan doesn’t let his excitement show: because deep down, deep enough that he’ll never admit it fully- let alone say it aloud- he’d truly like a friend too. 

And as Virgil glances over the contract and bites his nails and spares him the smallest glance before Patton returns with two glasses of water and a plate of supermarket cookies… Logan can’t help but feel like this will become more. 

The contract is solidified: Logan will go to Virgil after his classes end, assist him with homework or anything else he needs at the time. Logan will be on speed dial for him if talking to people if needed. Logan will be paid a small sum per day, as well as the equating service hours. 

Patton can’t stop thanking him with tears in his eyes. Virgil doesn’t look at him once, spares him no glances. Rather, his eyes are downcast for the next hour that Logan’s there. He has a little fidgeting toy and presses it in his lap. Logan exchanges cordially with Patton, Patton cheers animatedly, and Virgil is silent. 

“If I may ask… why now? Is this not your second year of college? Why would you leave now?” Logan asks. Patton’s expression saddens. 

“Oh… well, I’m transferring to a better medical school after this semester and- I couldn’t leave Virgil here without any help- he waited for me so we could go here together and… I can’t leave with no safety net for him,” Patton says tearily. He wipes at his eyes and goes to squeeze Virgil’s shoulder.

Virgil sinks deeper into his hoodie. Logan feels deeply uncomfortable. 

“So thank you, Logan: you seem so nice, and so smart, I’m sure that I’ll be leaving him in capable hands,” Patton assures him, and then looks at the time mounted on the wall, “Oh! You must be going now, huh? I’ll walk you out,” 

“Goodbye, Virgil. I look forward to seeing you soon,” he says curtly, before letting Patton lead him back to the door. As he ties up his shoes, Logan opens his mouth hesitantly. 

“You are… you are a good brother, taking care of your younger sibling like that,” he does his best at comforting. Patton laughs at him. 

“No, no! Virgil’s my older brother by two years. Technically, he should be at your level: but he waited for me to go. We’re really close and we help each other out so… Goodness, that’s the reason why I’m doing all this, reaching out to the teachers and organizing things for him. I want to -no, I need to- help him out. Like he’s helped me,” Patton explains. Logan blinks. This means two things. 

Patton feels guilty. He feels oh so guilty, and Virgil probably feels betrayed. Betrayed and alone. 

Virgil and Logan are the same age. 

~~~~~~

The end of the first semester comes quickly. It was only a few weeks away, and Logan spends minimal time with Virgil: giving the brothers space to make amends before he comes between them. 

On the last day of the quarter, Logan makes his way to their dorm room. Music had been stuck in his head all day: his soulmate singing the same song over and over again. It’s beautiful, of course, but nagging as he tries to focus. Logan debated singing a little “shut up please” but even that little snippet of musicality makes him nervous. 

And what would his soulmate think? What would he think, after years of silence, that the first thing he gets in return is a demand for silence? Logan shivers at the thought of it. The song goes: Time is an illusion that helps things make sense, so we’re always living in the present tense- it seems unforgiving when a good thing ends, but you and I will always be back then. 

Logan likes the scientific simplicity of it, and finds himself humming along as he swiftly walks across the courtyard to the dorms. His soulmate’s voice rises with the music: piano, he thinks. His soulmate is playing the piano and singing over and over and over again. In his mind's eye, Logan wishes he could comfort him: do the soulmate things that soulmates do. Embrace him and calm him and quell his fears. The music fades in time for him to get to the dorms: Patton’s already outside, bags packed. 

Logan is giving, or rather attacked, with a hug from Patton. 

“You are leaving now, yes?” he says, trying to make it seem like he’s not worming out of the embrace despite his discomfort. Patton releases him after a moment, worrying at his lip. 

“Yeah! I’ll visit as often as I can, call me if ANYTHING happens, and-” 

“Patton,” Logan grips his shoulders, “I can handle this. Go on now,” Patton nods tearily. 

“You promise you’ll take good care of my brother? You have to- to pinky promise, because if anything happens to him it’s going to be my fault,” Patton wipes his eyes, and there’s that intimidating that he always knew Patton had the potential for: “You have to promise. I love Virgil more than anything or anyone in the world. He is the kindest, most thoughtful person. You may not see it right now, but he is. Virgil is the best person I know. You have to help him when he needs it, even if he doesn’t want it,” 

“I promise, I’ll perform to the very best of my ability Patton,” Logan says steely, “I promise. You go and pursue your dreams.” Logan and Patton both glance up to the window of the dorm that Virgil’s in: the curtains are closed, and Patton sighs. Gives Logan a meaningful look. 

Patton juts his pinky in his face, and Logan exasperatedly links his. Patton’s face brightens, and leaves to the nearby road where a taxi awaits. In Logan’s head, a new song begins. It starts with a guitar and then continues with his soulmate’s angelic voice: “Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup, they slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe-” 

Logan watches him go for a moment: and then he starts walking into the dorms to check in on Virgil. Logically, he’s probably feeling due amounts of stress and uncertainty in the new situation. 

“Nothings gonna change my world, nothings gonna change my world…. images of broken light, which dance before me like a million eyes, they call me on and on across the universe,” 

Logan’s heart feels full, an odd feeling: there’s something about the music and the situation that blends and rushes into his chest so wonderfully. Perhaps this is what it’s like to be with your soulmate: life and soul singing together in perfect harmony. 

“Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box, they tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe,” 

Logan takes the stairs step by step, enjoying the music as long as he can. 

“Nothings gonna change my world, nothings gonna change my world, nothings gonna change my world, nothings gonna change my world…” the music stops all at once, guitar too: Logan misses it for only a moment, before he remembers that it’s no passing street musician but rather his soulmate. His soulmate who sings so perfectly. The soulmate he’ll never meet. 

He arrives at the Williams’ dorm- err, now just Virgil’s, and raps on the door. He waits for a “coming!” but then realizes his mistake. He waits patiently for Virgil to open it: and when he does, it’s only a crack. Logan stares back at the scrap of Virgil’s face he can see. 

His lips purse. 

“Would you like to let me in?” Logan asks gently. Virgil’s face tightens nervously, and he signs something quickly. 

“I’m not okay right now,” he says. Logan swallows. 

“Can I help with anything? Or should I leave?” he keeps his voice as soft as he can. Virgil’s head shakes a vehement ‘no’. 

“Virgil… I-” he tries to come up with a reason, a real reason for him to stay. There is none. If Virgil says he doesn’t need any help then there’s no reason to stay. Logan swallows. “If you have no need for me… then I… I should leave,” he sighs. The door closes shut behind him with a click. 

Logan’s moving to leave when he has a new idea. He raps on the door once more. Virgil’s face peers through the crack in the door again. He rolls his eyes at Logan. 

“What is it?” he signs. 

“Fancy a game of chess?” 

~~~~~

Unsurprisingly, Virgil is a silent but deadly good chess player. He’s forward thinking and takes no risks that he can’t counter the backlash of. Logan is thrilled to play with someone so astute. 

“Checkmate,” Logan announces, after a long and difficult game. Virgil huffs in mock indignation, and knocks down his own king. “You’re quite proficient at this, Virgil. We should play more often.” 

Virgil blushes, signing a quick “Thank you” and then zipping his hoodie up further. Logan finds himself smiling at him. 

“Would you like to go again? Or do you have work to do that I can help you with?” 

“Again,” Virgil signs, hands quivering slightly. Logan chuckles and resets the board for another go. Virgil bites at his nails and waits. It’s too quiet without Patton’s incessant yammering. Logan decides to ask the first question that comes to mind. 

“Do you have a soulmate?” 

Virgil makes sweater paws and ducks into his hoodie more. 

“Oh- I’m sorry, is that a bad topic-” 

“No. I do not have one.” 

There’s been cases of people ‘missing’ soulmates: only to find that they were dead, or that they didn’t want a soulmate and merely ignored them. Or like Logan, who don’t sing whatsoever. 

“Ah… well, that’s a shame, Virgil. You’d be amazing to have as a soulmate, I’m sure,” 

Virgil flushes deeper, if it’s possible, and hugs himself. Logan finds himself smiling again: Virgil’s cute. 

Perhaps he said it out loud, because then Virgil’s growling at him and signing a “Fuck you, I am not!” 

“Maybe just a little bit?” Logan teases, he teases, such an odd and different thing for him to do. But teasing Virgil is different. It’s like another game and Logan doesn’t feel out of place or silly: it’s still serious.

“No! No!” 

“I think you are,” 

“No! What? No!” 

“Hmm,” Logan merely says, finishing the chess board. 

~~~~~

His soulmate has a crush. A sort of crush that’s teetering constantly between deep pining and attempting to squash it. 

It’s apparent, between the lines of “Fly Me To The Moon” and “despair”. In other words, I love you. Cause it’s not romantic, I swear. Fill my heart with song and let me sing forevermore. I want you to be here, but please don’t come near. You are all I long for, all I worship and adore. It’s not love, I swear. 

Today’s song is “Raincoat” (according to the internet) and if that’s not appropriate, Logan doesn’t know what is. Once more, Logan wishes he has the confidence to thank him for the soundtrack that’s been accompanying his life as it rises in joy each day. 

These songs… they’re a quick change from the dreary songs that had been going on a few weeks ago. Logan, ironically, doesn’t mind the sappiness, actually. Usually he would, but it fits his recent joy. 

Virgil’s exactly what he wanted, what he could’ve never hoped for. He’s smart, he’s clever, he’s shrewd, he’s not touchy, he respects boundaries… 

It’s perfect. Logan goes and sticks with him each and every weekday after classes end. They work together, they read together, they watch True Crime shows, they eat dinner together, they play chess and cards and backgammon and Clue and everything possible. They talk: and miracles upon miracles, Virgil seems to like him. 

Today is different. Today is a weekend: there’s no real reason that Virgil should need him, he’s never before, but he was invited to have lunch with him anyway. Even though it’s going to be snowing! Even though it’s freezing! Even though in any other instance Logan would be curled up at home with a good book and Star Trek. And rather… rather they’re going to get Hot Pot at the small university town in Logan’s ramshackle car. It gives Logan the strange feeling of hope rising in his chest that Virgil wants him around as much as he does. That Virgil enjoys it as much as he does. 

Enjoys the company, the quiet, the whole thing. 

He doesn’t even have to go up to the dorm: Virgil’s waiting for him outside the building. Logan waves after he gets out of his secondhand car: Virgil offers a small one in return and walks up to him. He’s all bundled up in several mismatched layers: though he still wears aggressively ripped jeans with skinny knees peeking through, he’s wrapped in several warm coats. 

Logan gets a sudden urge to press a kiss to his shaggy hair and hug him tightly, the slouching man at the ideal height. He squashes it quickly, blushing anyway at the mere thought of such romances, and lets Virgil into the passenger seat without looking at him. Virgil taps his hands on the front of the car, a rare grin donning his features. Logan swallows. 

Virgil has never looked more beautiful than he does right now. With a smile and all of those layers and his hood just barely adorning his head. Logan notices now that his makeup is different today: a sparkling purple rather than the usual dark tones. 

“Where to, Virgil?” 

“I do not care!” he signs excitedly. Logan chuckles. 

“How about sushi, then?” 

Virgil smiles and nods. Logan sets the car into reverse, and then drives out of the parking lot. Virgil fiddles with his fingers. I should say something…

“Would… would you like to listen to any music, Virgil?” Virgil’s head bobs an exuberant yes, and Logan gestures to the old car radio: Virgil fiddles with it, and finally ends up with a channel that’s not staticy. 

‘You’d be like heaven to touch… I want to hold you so much,’ At the beginning of ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’ Virgil sinks into his hoodie: Logan casts his eyes off the road for a second, glancing at Virgil- the scrap of his face that he can see is ruby red. At least the car isn’t silent anymore, he thinks to himself. Virgil’s quiet (well, not signing), and the song plays to completion and fades into “This Guy’s In Love With You”. Virgil, if it’s possible, seems to hide even more. 

“We’re almost there, do you want me to turn it off, Virgil?” Logan suggests. 

“It’s fine.” 

“If you say so… seems like you’re hiding but…” 

“Fuck you.” 

‘Say you’re in love, in love with this guy… if not, I will just die’ 

Logan turns off the radio as they turn into the parking lot of the local sushi joint. He unbuckles his seatbelt and turns to Virgil. 

“Eat in or take out?” 

“To go,” he signs. Logan hums: maybe one day, they’ll be able to go out together for a meal. Virgil doesn’t like public places due to his anxiety, and Logan doesn’t want him to be uncomfortable and he’d never push him but… it is a classic ‘friend’ activity to go out for dinner together. It would be nice, but having a friend generally is nice and he’s not about to lose him over some stereotype. 

Virgil’s not ordinary, so why would their friendship be? 

“Come now, Virgil, let’s order,” Logan gets out of the car, helps Virgil out, locks the car. It all feels very normal, very quaint. He has to admit that he enjoys it, despite what one would think if they met him. 

Walking into the restaurant is normal. Ordering food (ordering for both of them)? Also normal. They wait for their sushi in the front, Virgil warming his hands by blowing on them. 

“Do you enjoy spending time with me?” 

The question bursts out of Logan with little warning: he doesn’t even register that he said it until after it’s out of his mouth. He’s about to rescind the words when Virgil responds. 

“Yes. Yes. I love spending time with you,” He blushes slightly, looking away, “And you make me feel safe.” 

Logan blushes: he grabs the newly presented food and goes back to the car- but Virgil grabs his sleeve. 

“Do you want to sit in the park?” Virgil asks, nervous after the flurry of hands.

“It’s freezing outside,” 

“I know,” he signs, his expression saddening slightly.

“There’s no one out here.” 

“I know, I can see. I’m mute not blind,” Virgil rolls his eyes, heading for the car already. Logan chuckles and clasps his shoulder: Virgil stiffens under his touch.

“I don’t think I said I didn’t want to,” he teases. Virgil’s eyes widen, and then a smile creeps up his lips. 

“Okay!” Logan and Virgil walk right next to each other into the park: Virgil signs quite fast that he rather likes the cold, and that the skeletal trees remind him of his favourite movie, and does Logan like Nightmare Before Christmas, and what about stop animation? And halloween movies? 

Logan chuckles and answers all of his questions, slowly fielding them back to him. Virgil never talks this much when they’re in public. It’s nice to see him opening up, Logan thinks to himself pridefully, Is this my doing? 

He doesn’t mean to preen, but it happens anyway. 

“Why are you doing that with your chest?” 

“Oh, apologies, Virgil. It was accidental.” Logan reels himself back in: it’s so strange to have to do that. He’s never done anything like that, something that breaks his front stage appearance. It’s odd: like there’s another, smaller, smiling, animated Logan inside of him. A little Logan that’s been ignored and malnourished for a while now. Virgil giggles though, and Logan stops amidst his musings to stare at him. 

That was… cute. Why was that cute? Genuinely cute, not teasingly. 

Virgil catches him staring and glares at him, though his cheeks flush. 

“What are you looking at, nerd?” 

“Ah- it’s nothing. Would you like to sit down here and eat?” Logan points to a random bench: Virgil shrugs and sits, holding his arms open for his food. Giving him his food and sitting down next to him is a battle of wills: if it was another other person, in any other situation, he’d excuse himself and leave. But it’s Virgil, and the man looks so thrilled to just sit with him: it’s his friend. He’s not abandoning him. Even if his emotions are crawling up his throat. 

The silence is amicable as they eat. The first flakes of snow start to fall, and Virgil’s attention is drawn to them immediately. He watches the snowflakes float down slowly, enraptured. 

“You’d think you’ve never seen snow before,” Logan chuckles. 

“Fuck off,” Virgil signs fluidly. He doesn’t even look at Logan, simply eats his sushi and quickly stands to spin in the snow. “It’s beautiful.” 

“Yes,” Logan agrees, as he watches Virgil laugh quietly and kick the powder around, as Virgil’s eyelashes are decorated with snowflakes, as he holds his tongue out like a child, as Virgil looks so free and unafraid in his lonesome company… “It’s quite beautiful indeed.” 

~~~~

Patton’s coming back in two weeks. The second semester is almost over, spring finally showing her colours after a frigid winter, and Logan’s almost nervous. The music in his head doesn’t help whatsoever to calm him. What if something changes? It’s not like Patton’s staying, he’s allegedly very happy at his new school, but… Logan can’t help but worry at the idea that something in their dynamic will change irreparably if Patton reenters. 

There’s nothing you can do about it, he assures himself once again, Just keep doing your job. Logan’s class lets out early, and he takes a brisk jog to meet Virgil outside his class. By now, Logan knows his schedule by heart and knows where to meet him. 

He waits outside the lecture hall, student after student exiting… he waits until it’s fifteen minutes after his class has ended. Frowning, Logan peeks inside: it’s devoid of people, even the professor. 

“Virgil?” he calls out into the empty room fruitlessly. Panic starts to rise inside of his chest as he calls for the anxious man. “Virgil? Virgil, where are you?” 

He searches each aisle of the lecture hall, calling Virgil’s cell phone. Virgil hates it when he calls him, but if he’d just pick up, it means he’s okay. Logan feels incredibly antsy as he runs out of the room, sprinting at full force (he’s a strong man) around campus calling for Virgil. He wipes at his face: he can’t have the budding tears block his vision. He needs to find Virgil. 

“Virgil, where are you? Virgil, I need to find you. Virgil, please please be okay,” he dashes around a corner and drives his heels in to stop. 

Virgil. 

His beloved hoodie in a secluded alleyway. 

Logan reaches down and grasps it: he’d never leave it alone, let alone in a public place. Logan shakily picks it up into his hands, feeling the fabric: it’s dirtied. He gently folds it and puts it under his arm.

He’s starting to walk away when he hears the muffled shout and the sound of a punch’s impact. 

“Oh, so you want to talk now, huh?” Another punch. “Fucker.” 

Logan walks purposefully in the direction of the noise: two large women and one large man are whaling on Virgil, kicks and punches and spit, who’s curled up on the paved ground in the fetal position. Logan takes out the first buff woman with a strong punch to the side of her face, the second with a well placed kick and shove. The man runs away, pulling his fellows along with him. 

“Virgil, they’re gone now. Are you alright?” 

Virgil makes a broken sob, holding his midsection with his eyes downcast, and spits out some blood. Logan sighs and bends down to Virgil’s level, and wipes his mouth with a handkerchief from his book bag. He gives Virgil his hoodie (which he takes to immediately) and rubs his back. 

I should’ve gone after them, made them pay- 

“OH MY STARS, are the two of you alright?” a fanciful voice calls out from the entrance of the alley way. 

“We just saw a trio of assholes running away with some wicked bruises-” 

“Remus, that’s not the point!” The two boys walk into the alley, one worrying with a red letterman’s jacket and coiffed hair, the other (Remus) morbidly interested with a large denim jacket and wild hair sticking up every which way. They have the same face, unnervingly, though the wilder one sports a partially-grown mustache and the other has a scar though his eyebrow. 

“Alright, alright, I’ll bite. Are you okay?” Remus asks, extending a hand to Virgil. Virgil looks away and tucks into Logan more. Remus retracts his hand with a shrug. Logan gives the both of them steely looks. 

“If you’re here to promote any more harm or mockery, I advise you to leave concurrently.” 

“Ooh, put those big words away, Daddy,” Remus mocks. His brother elbows him roughly. 

“Remus, be nice. They’ve clearly been through quite the ordeal! Greetings, I’m Roman, this is Remus. We’re in Virgil’s class, and we saw him being… escorted, one could call it-” 

“Forcibly swept away!” 

“-Thank you Remus, out of class so we followed along after reporting it to the professor. He seems to be in quite a state: is there anything we can do?” Roman finishes, rolling his eyes at his twin. Logan sighs and adjusts his glasses. He doesn’t want to accept their help. He can take care of Virgil by himself. But…

He takes a closer look at the poor beaten man, at his bloodied mouth and shirt and his bruises and scrapes and thinks beyond him. 

“I thank you for reporting it to the teacher. This is a heinous act, and I loathe to think of what would’ve happened if I arrived later or not at all,” he attempts to look thankful, but judging by their expressions, it doesn’t work. Logan pinches the bridge of his nose. “Could you alert the on campus clinic that we’ll be coming? One of you? The other can make sure they don’t come back as I take Virgil there,” with that, Logan takes a deep breath and gets to his feet, holding Virgil tightly in his embrace. Virgil turns into him, making a pained sound. 

It breaks Logan’s poor heart. My friend, my friend, my friend- he’s hurt. 

“It’s alright, Virgil. I’ve got you, you’re safe now,” he whispers to him. 

“Cute!” “Ick.” 

“Oh come on now, Remus, they’re precious!”

“I came over here for the bloody beat down! Not touchy feely lovey-dovey!” 

“I will never understand you. You’re absolutely vile,” 

“Ah, look in the mirror lately?” 

“Excuse me,” Logan growls, diverting their attention from their bickering, “Are you going to help or not?” 

“Ugh,” Remus rolls his eyes, “I guess I’ll go to the clinic.” 

“Goodbye, Remus- you see, he’s a bit of a pain, always been that way,” Roman sticks his tongue out childishly at Remus, who returns the gesture in a more lewd fashion. “Alright, let’s help the emo up,” Roman extends his hands to help: Logan turns away, holding Virgil alone. 

“He is not emo. Virgil is a selective mute,” Logan frowns at Roman. 

“Aha, it’s just a mere quip!” 

“Oh,” Logan swallows. They walk in near silence to the infirmary: How weird it is that the silence with Virgil seems familial and warm but with this Roman it feels charged and uncomfortable. 

“You aren’t a very funny guy, are you?” 

“Excuse me?” Logan glares at him through his glasses, holding Virgil tighter. 

“Take no offense, but I mean… you’re very uptight! Serious. Grumpy. Straight to the point. I’ll stop prattling on synonyms, but I think you get the point now,” Roman explains. 

“I- I’ve never thought about it that way. I presume you’re right,” he frowns. Logan’s never felt like any of those: he just likes working. And now he feels foolish: perhaps that’s the reason that he’s never gotten anywhere socially. Is it his inability to “quip”? 

Would Virgil be happier with him if he could? 

As if he heard his thoughts, Virgil winces in pain in his arms. 

“Oh! Virgil. Should I hold you differently? Are you uncomfortable?” Virgil looks up at Logan blearily: his eyes open in recognition and a full-face blush breaks out all over his face. Virgil takes a bruised hand to hide his face. 

“Awe look at ‘im! Debbie Downer is shy!” Logan whirls over to glare at Roman’s almond eyes angrily. Virgil turns away. 

“Don’t talk to him that way,” he growls. Roman flushes and stammers. 

“It was only teasing!” 

“It was hurtful, and the last thing he needs right now is that. So do me a favor and leave those quips to yourself,” he reprimands. 

“Yes, sir,” Roman salutes. Logan looks away from him and back to Virgil. 

“Hey. Why did those thugs hurt you anyway?” he questions. Virgil frowns. “You don’t have to tell me-” 

“No- I will. I was- I was singing in the bathroom,” he signs shyly. 

“Wait- how could you-” 

“Sometimes I talk when I’m alone. Or sing. I’m nervous around people, when I’m by myself it’s okay,” 

“Oh,” Logan shouldn’t feel so betrayed, he knows he shouldn’t: this is the way Virgil is, after all. He’s a selective mute. He can speak when he wants. And if he doesn’t want to speak around Logan well- it’s fine. It’s his choice. 

It shouldn’t bother Logan. 

“So those jerks beat you up purely for the angelic music of your soul? Their cruelty knows no bounds, if they were to hurt you for communicating with your soulmate! How dare they, those vile, disgusting, cotton headed ninny muggin ruffians!” Roman supplies, filling Logan’s silence with declarations of war. Virgil laughs slightly at Roman, rolling his eyes. Logan swallows his questions, his pleas for “what about me?”. 

Virgil can like whoever he wants. It doesn’t have to be just Logan. 

~~~~

Virgil had asked Logan to drive him to the airport to pick up Patton. Logan wanted to say no, to say that he didn’t want to, hell, just leave him at the airport but… Virgil’s face betrayed his excitement, and Logan couldn’t put him down. 

So now he’s waiting in the pick up zone with his car, waiting for Virgil to come back and completely ignore him again. Logan blinks.

Is that what this is about? 

Does some part of Logan, some illogical part that manipulates his feelings, worry that Patton would mean Logan’s out of the picture? Logan grips the steering wheel. It’s Virgil’s choice! If he wants to hang out with Patton, sure. Sure. It’s fine. 

Logan makes a low growl. 

It’s not fine. 

~~~~

And… there was nothing he could do. He stopped coming to visit Virgil during the mid-semester break: why should he? Virgil was with Patton. He’s happy. He doesn’t need Logan around… 

Logan hates it. He hates not going over each day, each class ending with Virgil’s tiny smile. 

He hates his soulmate, whoever he is, for singing so sadly whenever he wakes up. 

“What's the name of the game? Does it mean anything to you? What's the name of the game? Can you feel it the way I do? Tell me please, 'cause I have to know… I'm a bashful child, beginning to grow…” 

“Shut up,” Logan tells him quietly each time he goes at it again, “Shut up. I don’t want your questions, I can’t answer them.” 

Logan, for the first time in his life, isn’t happy doing his work. There’s no gratification from finishing something: there’s no hunched over man beside him gesturing wildly as he finishes so quickly. There’s no giggle as he presses his glasses higher on his nose: there’s no smack on the shoulder when he corrects his work. It’s so… so bland. Was it always like this? 

Before Virgil, was it always like this? 

Logan finishes his test and hands it in at the front: his professor gives him a confused look. Logan twitches as his soulmate starts to sing: “It's you I like… not the things you wear…” 

“Is everything okay, Mr. Adleman? You seem… listless, lately. Distracted. And you took all of the allotted time to finish your work- quite out of the ordinary, I’d say,” 

“I assure you, sir, everything is normal,” he merely says, before adjusting his bag and exiting the classroom. 

“Not the way you do your hair… but it's you I like,” 

“Shut up,” Logan murmurs under his breath, walking stiffly with his head down down the hall. His soulmate’s voice is beautiful, as beautiful as always… but Logan can’t bear it. He’s already dealing with so much! To hear his soulmate’s longing notes doesn’t help. If anything, it exasperates his issues. Logan is grumbling under his breath when he hears it: and suddenly, all his issues get worse. 

Patton’s in a classroom, with his teacher and a few students, singing to them: 

“The way you are right now… way down deep inside you…” 

“The way you are right now… way down deep inside you…” and his soulmate croons at the same time. 

“Not the things that hurt you, not your toys; they're just beside… you,” 

“Not the things that hurt you, not your toys; they're just beside… you,” 

They both stop at the same note, and Logan swallows. 

Patton. 

Patton, smiley, hazel-eyed, exuberant, talkative, Patton, is his soulmate? Patton, the Patton he’s been mildly despising for the past few days.

 I can’t believe it. But I presume… he has a right to know. And maybe we can make this work? 

“Ah… Patton,” Patton’s face whirls to Logan’s in the door, and his face lights up. Logan can’t help but set his face: aren’t soulmates supposed to elicit some kind of joy in their partners? When they finally figure it out, isn’t it supposed to be some revelation? 

“Logan!! How nice!! I haven’t seen you this whole trip, what a delight! Virgil’s been all out of sorts without you around, it seems,” Patton grins, sliding off the desk he was sitting on and walking over to Logan. 

“I- I think- I think you’re my soulmate,” he stammers. 

“What?” 

“I- I heard your singing, in my head, as you were singing in here-” 

“Oh my god. No, no, Logan,” Patton smiles at Logan tearfully, his hands landing on his shoulders, “That was Virgil. I started singing that song because Virgil was singing it again when I left.” 

“That’s- that’s impossible how-”

“If you need any more proof, then just look at my soulmate: I met him at school, he flew in after me,” Patton smiles dreamily and waves at a man sitting in the corner, typing on his phone: he has two black forearm crutches and deep burn scars  across the left side of his face. 

“Hullo,” he greets from the other side of the room, “I’m Janus. Pleasure, fellow Patton soulmate,” Logan’s mouth dries as Patton giggles. 

“It’s really Virgil. That- that makes a lot of sense but- I can’t believe it-” 

“Okay, how about this, Lo?” Logan’s nose scrunches at the nickname, “I’m going to send a message to Virgil: and you go sneak back to the apartment. He’ll sing. It’ll match up. Then you have to confess. He’s thought he’s been alone… for so long. He’ll be so happy: so thrilled to have a soulmate… even more so if it’s you.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Patton shakes his head, chuckling. Logan looks away: his teary eyes are too much for him. Logan clears his throat. 

“Let our third go, Pat!” Janus calls, his voice smooth. Logan casts him a glare, though he blushes, and walks off. Thousands of thoughts swirl through his head, clouding his vision. He almost loses his way to the dorms. His mind is so full, so so so full, and then a voice breaks through it all. 

“If I could ride a bike, I’d zoom around the world, with you sitting there behind me…” 

Logan’s breath hitches. If that’s Virgil, he hates not seeing it before. Meeting him and not loving him right away. Not beating around the bush. But embracing him with everything he is, using all he knows to help all he needs. 

“I’ll take you to places, past several faces… just livin life so carefree. If I could sail a boat, I'd cruise across the seas, a sweet adventure for us two,” 

His pace increases as he gets to the dorms: he runs up the stairs maybe a little too fast. The music increases in volume but perhaps it’s in his head. The door to Virgil’s room is cracked open. 

“I'll be Jack and you Rose, just please don’t let me go, cause I'll be nothing without you. Oh when you call me… I'm drifting on clouds, like I'm dreaming,” 

Logan’s footsteps falter as he peers through the door. Virgil, with a guitar, singing those notes so sweetly. It matches up in his head, it matches perfectly, and despite himself, Logan starts to er up. It’s perfect harmony, it makes his heart swell and the whole world brightens. 

This is what it’s supposed to be like.  This is my soulmate. Virgil’s voice rises and falls, and it becomes so mind numbingly soft. 

“But in the morning, I'll wake up and see that you're stuck… here with me,” Virgil sings, his voice sad, “If only you knew, what I would do for you. I'd jump up and hold you… so tightly…” Virgil sobs, “Logan. Logan. I’m sorry. Whatever I did. I’m sorry. I miss you.” 

Logan’s chest pulls. His voice is like an angel. Virgil, his soulmate, wants him back. Everything he thought… was wrong. He needs to tell him, he needs to- 

No. No, it would embarrass both of them, and Virgil’s anxious. He needs to do it in a way that would make no room for error, no room for suspicion of any foul intent. 

Logan… needs to sing. 

~~~~ 

It’s all planned out, only a few days later. The sun is out, the weather is warm. Patton has Virgil entertained, introducing him to Janus in the front lawn. Roman and Remus are keeping people away in their respective fashions so that they have privacy. Logan adjusts his tie, getting ready in their apartment. He wants to have the song at it’s apex before meeting him as his soulmate. 

Logan clutches the ring in his pocket: a customary soulmate ring, black and fitted to Virgil’s finger. They haven’t been together, and he doesn’t have to accept it of course but… he wants to do this right.  

This has to be perfect. 

He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth to sing. 

“I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore… If I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before,” Logan sings softly. He chuckles- something so foriegn to him, so averse to what he wanted to do just a week ago- and he doesn’t sound bad. As he sings the next few lines, he runs out to the window by the elevators and can just barely make out Virgil on a picnic blanket rising to his feet and looking around confusedly. Logan carefully walks down the stairs, taking his time as he goes: 

“So I say- thank you for the music, the songs I’m singing. Thank you for all the joy they’re bringing: who can live without it? I asked in all honesty, what would life be- without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it… to me,” he sings, breaking out into the fresh air. Logan sings the next few stanzas under his breath, making his way to Virgil’s picnic spot. Virgil’s standing up, shaking Patton’s shoulder and signing wildly. 

“I've been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair: I wanna sing it out to everybody…. What a joy, what a life, what a chance!” his voice rises as he nears the grass, heart beating wildly. 

Virgil’s fallen to his knees, his crying sounding even from where Logan stands, dozens of feet away. 

“Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing. Thanks for all the joy they're bringing. Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty… What would life be? Without a song or a dance what are we? So I say thank you for the music,” he’s suddenly close, standing at Virgil. Virgil looks up, tears running down his face. He gasps: he smiles: he laughs. “For giving it to me.” 

Virgil stumbles to his feet, and wraps his arms around Logan’s middle. He chuckles, and hugs him back, squeezing him tightly. Virgil cries into his chest, hiccuping and laughing all the same. 

“So I say,” he rubs his back, and presses a light kiss into his hair, “Thank you for the music, for giving it… to me.” 

There’s no fanfare, no wild confetti or cheering. It’s quiet, as Patton and Janus laugh and Virgil tearily accepts his ring before digging back into his chest. It would be perfect like this but then… 

“Logan,” Virgil whispers, hiding in his chest, “Logan.” It’s so quiet, but it makes his heart burst in joy. Virgil didn’t have to say anything, he would love him anyway, but it shows. It shows the trust. 

“Surprise,” he whispers back, pulling him in closer. “Thank you. For everything, Virgil.”

~~~~~

The End! Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed!��

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[taxicabinmemphis]

Janus gets a snake!! Maybe it's a human au and his partner adopted it with him and they're living together, maybe someone gave him one as a surprise (this could be human or not. Maybe they just conjured it.) The possibilities are endless, but I need Janus with a snake

it is a common fact that I can’t write anything without two people being cute with each other so this is gonna be shippy

tw food, swearing

Janus picked up the box. It had a lot of minuscule holes in it and was sealed tightly with tape. Janus looked up at his best friend with a raised eyebrow, pulling his pocket knife out of his pocket and cutting the tape covering the box. He went to open the flaps, but a scarred hand met his elbow to halt his movements.

"Be careful, Snexy," Remus warned, "this birthday present moves."

Janus slowly turned back to the box, and as cautious and slow as ever, opened the flaps. His eyes widened and he flinched when a blur that looked like a large, bright yellow noodle flung itself his way.

Janus fell to the floor and slid away from his two-eyed, squiggly birthday present and into the wall behind him. His eyes widened as he realized he was cornered and was too distracted by the fear of being devoured by a yellow power cord to register the implications of Remus' wickedly delighted laughter.

He was only able to bring the pool noodle into focus when it crawled onto his left arm. He would have flinched at the boundary violation, but he was frozen in fear. When the longest piece of penne pasta stilled, he was able to see that he was much closer with the power cord analogy than the pool noodle. A somewhat small yellow snake a little more than twice the thickness of a power cord was coiled around his arm and was looking at him with dark brown eyes too innocent-looking to belong to a reptile.

Janus swallowed, his relief that it wasn’t anything he had a phobia of not showing too well on his face. He stared into the snake’s eyes, its innocence not preventing it from looking like it was gazing into the depths of Janus’ soul.

“You got me a snake.”

“Yep!” Remus exclaimed happily, laughter calming down. “One that is just like you! Small, yellow, and brown eyes.”

“Yes, Remus, my scales are definitely yellow. It’s not like they’re green or anything.” Janus rolled his eyes, electing not to comment on the “small” jab of Remus’ remark so as not to provoke him into a session of height-teasing.

“Irrelevant,” Remus dismissed, bounding towards them. “Do you like it?”

Janus bit his lip. “I will have to decide as we get to know each other better. Though, considering it was you who conjured it, my hopes aren’t too high.”

“Virgil and Roman helped me, actually. I mentioned my present idea to them and they didn’t want you to be stuck with an annoying snake or whatever, so they helped me to make sure the snake wouldn’t be too unbearable or disturbing.”

“How kind of them.”

Footsteps were heard descending the staircase, prompting the two dark sides to turn. Patton was standing at the bottom of the steps and looked as though he was trying to figure out what was going on.

“I got Janus a snake for his birthday!” Remus told him cheerily.

Patton visibly paled. “That’s...awesome, kiddo! I hope the opening of the present didn’t rattle Janus too badly.”

Janus rolled his eyes. “Brilliant, Patton, truly. And no, I’m fine.”

Remus scoffed. “You’re on the floor like a-”

“Anyway,” Janus interrupted, getting to his feet, “what can we do for you, Patton?”

Patton shook his head. “I just heard the noise and came to check things out.”

Janus nodded and looked at his arm. Despite Janus standing up, the snake was still coiled around his arm and was now looking up at him.

“Does your snake have a name yet?” Patton asked excitedly, walking over to where Janus was but keeping a substantial distance.

Janus shook his head, indicating a negative. “Definitely. It’s not like I just got him or anything.”

Patton gasped, putting his hands over his mouth. “I’ve got it! Let’s name him Jake the Snake.”

“So my snake is just a tool for alliteration for you?”

Patton made a sound of offense. “I just think it’s cute.”

“And I seem like the type to give my snake such a name?”

Patton gave a small laugh and shook his head. “No, but it would be fun! It’s not like you have a better name.”

Janus narrowed his eyes playfully at Patton. “Watch me find one.”

---

Pamela the Snake had adjusted to Janus’ room nicely, for an atypical species of pet. While annoying at times (quite often), Janus had created an attachment to the yellow nuisance. The two serpentine figments of the imagination were now perfecting semi-telepathic communication.

(You see, Remus is this exhausting thing called “extra” about 784% of the time and told Janus that if they worked at it, he and Pamela could communicate through means of telepathy and minimal hissing.)

Janus didn’t like to trap Pamela in one place, and he could tell his snake felt similarly. So, Pamela slept in a terrarium, but either roamed around Janus’ room or coiled around his neck or limb(s) during the day.

‘Janusssssss, get a ssssnack.’

‘I’m working, Pamela. And dinner was two hours ago.’

‘Take a break. sssss.’

‘Fine.’

Janus stepped away from his laptop and sunk out of his room, Pamela coiled around his shoulder. He walked into the kitchen and was pleasantly surprised to see that the large bag of pretzels Virgil had opened earlier was not yet finished. He got a bowl from a cabinet and poured in some pretzels. He spotted Roman approaching from his peripheral vision.

Janus picked up his bowl of pretzels and greeted Roman with a half-smile.

“Greetings, Janus!” Roman said loudly.

“Hello.”

“Is Pamela with you? Should I greet them too?”

Janus nodded. “Pamela is on my shoulder.”

“Hi, Pamela!”

‘Hi, Roman. sss’

“They say hi.”

Roman grinned happily and went into the kitchen as Janus left it.

‘How is Remussssssssssss? I wanna sssssssay hi.’

‘He’s alright. We will see him for game night in fifteen minutes.’

‘Okay. sssss’

Janus diverted his focus from his conversation with Pamela to find Logan descending the staircase.

“Salutations, Janus.”

“Good evening, Logan.”

‘Hi, Logan. How hassssss your day been?’

‘Logan can’t hear you.’

‘But he can hear you. ssss’

“I hear your hissing. Is Pamela trying to say something?”

Janus sighed, annoyed at his snake. “Yes. They want to know how your day has been.”

At this, Pamela uncoiled from Janus’ shoulder and slithered on top of his hat. They then slithered as far off the hat and in Logan’s direction as they could, looking at him with expectant eyes.

Logan tilted his head up to meet Pamela���s gaze. “My day has been satisfactory, Pamela, and I hope yours has been similar.”

‘Ssss thank you, Logan.’

“They say thanks.”

Pamela leaned their head close to Janus’ ear.

‘Kissssssssss him.’

Janus’ mouth dropped. ‘What? What are you talking about?? No!’

‘You know you want to. ssss’

‘No, no I don’t!’

‘Why not? I told you to get a ssssnack. There’s one right here.’

Janus sputtered. ‘Many reasons!’

‘Pssssss Logan. Janusssssss wantssss to kissssss you.’

‘If you think I’m relaying that to him, you’ve got another thing coming, Pamela.’

Logan put a hand over his mouth, and Janus could see his eyes crinkle. Was he smiling?

“Does your snake have something to say to me, Janus?”

Janus huffed. “No. Not at all.”

‘I don’t, but you do. Ssssssso tell him.’

“I think that may be false.”

Janus put a hand to his forehead, looking at Logan through his fingers. He could now see from the way Logan’s eyes were alight and the hand that had moved a couple of inches away from his mouth so he could speak that Logan was indeed smiling. Janus swallowed, knowing his embarrassing conversation with his snake was almost definitely the reason for that.

‘Pretty Logan sssssmile.’

‘If you’re so keen on him then you kiss him.’

‘I’m a sssssssnake, you moron. ssss’

Janus groaned into his hand, trying to give Logan a look that could make him pity Janus and set him free from this conversation.

“Is Pamela troubling you, Janus?”

“Very much so. Would it be alright if I permanently relinquished care of them to you?”

‘Villain! sss’

“I don’t think Pamela would be fond of that idea.”

Janus rolled his eyes. “Maybe not. All the better; make them miserable.”

‘If you kissssssssed him you could ssssshare cussssstody.’

‘For the last time, I do not want to kiss Logan. I do not see him that way.’

‘Asssss your love would sssay, falssssssssehood.’

Janus wasn’t able to dignify that with a response because Logan took a few steps closer to the pair. He made eye contact with Pamela.

“You clearly have something to say. Is Janus unwilling to relay it to me?”

Pamela stuck their tongue out at Logan in a hiss and slithered their head up and down.

“Ah. Janus, you seem to be making Pamela,” he pulled out a flashcard, “angy. In order to properly deal with this, I would suggest telling me what they have to say so you can eat your pretzels without any disturbance.”

Putting Logan’s adorable flashcards and uses of modern slang that made Janus want to pepper kisses across his entire face aside, Janus was annoyed that this conversation had yet to be over. He, a master of deception, figured that it would be wise to craft a lie that would satisfy Logan and get him out of here.

“They’re offering you pretzels. I don’t want to give you any, though.”

‘Sss liar. sss’

Logan exhaled. “Well, that is very kind of you, Pamela. Since they are Janus’ pretzels and he wishes to keep them to himself, I think I will pass.”

“Great,” Janus said quickly.

‘Look how hot and ssssse-’

Janus’ face paled. “Bye!”

He raced past Logan and up the staircase.

---

Logan tapped his pen to his chin. Over the past week, he’d had several interactions with Janus and Pamela that occupied his mind, starting with the pretzel incident seven days before. Throughout these interactions, Pamela and Janus seemed to hiss angrily at each other, and Janus refused to translate. This worried Logan, and while at first he was fooled, he worried that something else was going on. After all, most of these interactions ended awkwardly and even the oblivious Logan could tell that Janus was trying to avoid him. While their interactions over the week needed two hands to number, that was over a seven day period and they lived in the same area. Logan had interacted with Roman probably thirty times or more in the past week. Logan could only count six with Janus.

More than that, Janus was clearly trying to cut their interactions short. One time when Janus had looked particularly uncomfortable, he straight-up ran out of the conversation without so much as a goodbye and didn’t even let himself be seen by Logan for the entirety of the following day. There was no other way to interpret his behavior except that he was ignoring him.

Not to mention, Pamela had been hissing in every single one.

Was the snake trying to convince Janus to insult him? Did Pamela know of malice Janus held for him that Logan didn’t?

Logan was startled from his thoughts when Virgil appeared in his room.

“Hey, dude. I can hear anxiety coming from here.” Virgil conjured a chair and dragged it to Logan’s desk, sitting beside him. He put his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his fist. “I rarely feel anxiety from you, so I thought I’d check things out. What’s up?”

“You have confused me, Virgil. I do not feel any anxiety,” Logan said genuinely.

Virgil made a noise communicating doubt. “I know I didn’t hear wrong. Here, how about you tell me what’s on your mind and I’ll see if I can spot any anxiety in your thoughts?”

Logan nodded. “That seems adequate. I do believe I may need another intelligent mind to help me make sense of these findings.”

Virgil bit his lip at the compliment. “I’m happy to help, L.”

Logan nodded and turned to face Virgil properly. “So, it’s about Janus.”

“Snake dude.”

“Yes. About a month ago, Remus gave him a snake, Pamela. Recently, Janus and Pamela have been communicating through telepathy via hissing that no one else can understand. This has been fine until about a week ago when they started hissing at each other anytime Janus and I would interact. The hissing seems to be angry on Janus’ part, he won’t translate for me, and he ends up ending the conversation awkwardly and then running off.”

Virgil frowned. “That’s weird. Maybe Pamela is insulting Janus or something?”

Logan shook his head. “I’ve heard and seen him interact with people like Patton with no trouble at all. Whenever Pamela hisses, he’ll translate, and that’s that. Unless you have had similar-”

“No. Whenever Pamela hisses when Janus and I are talking, he translates. We haven’t had any awkward interactions in a while since Janus is usually good at keeping things from getting awkward.”

Logan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Then what could they be saying?”

“Did you think of anything? If you tell me what you’ve brainstormed so far, I can tell you if any of those can be sources of anxiety.”

“Well, my first thought was that Pamela was trying to get Janus to insult me, or knew of concealed malice Janus held for me. Could that elicit anxiety?”

Virgil snorted. “Of course. Your brain is mistakenly telling you that Janus hates you.”

“It’s certainly a possibility,” Logan defended. “Considering how he has been ignoring me, it is a logical conclusion.”

“Yeah, but I think the more logical conclusion to make is that Pamela is saying something related to you that is making him uncomfortable in your presence.”

Logan frowned. “I don’t like that either.”

Virgil laughed. “Why not? That’s their problem. They’ll sort things out and things’ll be back to normal between you two. It has nothing to do with you.”

“But it does! The only person Pamela is saying those things around is me!”

Virgil’s movements halted. “You really care about this, don’t you?”

“What?” Logan asked. He shook his head. “Certainly not. I simply want to make sure I haven’t upset Janus in any-”

“Bullshit,” Virgil said in a sing-song tone. “You care. I don’t kno-ohhhhhhhh.”

Virgil adopted a shit-eating grin and leaned his head closer to Logan with a shake of his head, wondering how he didn’t come to this conclusion sooner.

“What?”

Virgil snickered. “You like him.”

Logan shrugged. “Sure. He is an intelligent and intriguing side who does his job as Deceit in an acceptably functional manner and we have conversations I would consider intellectually stimulating. He is a fellow side, a fri-”

“No. You like him.”

Logan’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “That’s what I just confirmed, Virgil.”

Virgil sighed. “No. Like as in, you probably want to back him against a wall and kiss the living daylights out of him. Maybe watch romantic documentaries together? Have a debate littered with sexual tension that ends in a make-out session? All of that? None? I don’t know what smart people do when in love.”

Logan’s mouth fell open. He started to stumble out a response. “I- No...that is a blatant lie-”

Virgil shook his head firmly. “Nope. It isn’t. I’m shocked I didn’t see it before. Looking back, I see the way you’ve looked at him, laughed at unfunny things he says, and smiled at him for no reason at all. You’re in love~”

Logan stared at him for a few minutes with a blank expression. He then put his head in his hands. “Oh my god, I am, aren’t I?”

Virgil awkwardly patted his back. “It’s okay...but yes, you are.”

Logan groaned. “And he hates me.”

Virgil drew back. “What? No! Of course he doesn’t!”

“How would you know? His actions seem to be communicating that he does.”

Virgil pursed his lips, thinking. “If I see any sign of hatred, or lack thereof, in any of your conversations in the near future, I will tell you. Okay?”

Logan nodded.

“Okay. I’ll leave you to your pining, Logan.”

---

Pamela would not shut up around Logan, and frankly, Janus wasn’t sure how much more of it he could take. They were constantly hissing about how hot Janus must think he was (essspecially in that outfit, Janusss, that sshirt is making you go crazy, I’m ssssure of it), telling Janus to kiss him, among other things. Janus could not keep his cool around Logan and always had to leave. He knew he wouldn’t act on Pamela’s suggestions, but they still prompted embarrassment and a desire to escape Logan’s presence.

So, for the past week, he had been trying to ignore Logan as best he could. He predicted his typical meal times, breaks, and when he would normally get water based on observations he had made throughout their friendship (for totally not gay at all reasons) and tried his best to stay in his room during those times. Of course, there was margin for error and days where he wasn’t as adamant to escape Logan as others, but he managed to have a full week of having only six interactions with him.

Did Janus miss him? Maybe. Did Pamela miss Logan? Definitely. Did either of those facts matter? Not in the slightest. Janus was fine with only keeping constant contact with four of his five fellow sides. And things would’ve continued to be fine if it weren’t for fucking Pamela.

‘I wanna sssssee Logan, Janussss, go talk to him. ss’

‘Not unless you behave. We’ve already had thisss talk and you alwayss sssay ssomething out of line, even if you promisssed not to beforehand.’

‘But I wanna ssssee him, and sssssso do you.’

‘I do not!’

‘Yesssssss.’

‘How would you know, anyway, if I did?’

‘Caussse you’re not ssssubtle about it.’

‘I take great offenssse to that.’

‘You sssssshould.’

Janus grumbled out some incomprehensible nonsense, electing to get some dry cereal for a snack. Pamela wrapped themself around Janus’ neck and rested their head over Janus’ ear. Janus sunk out of his room and appeared at the bottom of the staircase, where he then made to the kitchen. He poured some dry cereal into a bowl and headed for the sofa, deciding to eat there.

About halfway through his bowl of grainy dryness, he spotted with terrified eyes, Logan walking down the staircase. He realized he didn’t check his list of times Logan was normally in the kitchen or living room, and that now was one of those times. He wondered bitterly if a part of him purposely forgot just so he could see Logan again, for the first time in twenty-eight hours.

‘Go talk to him. sss’

Janus opened his mouth to respond, but closed it and looked to his food when Logan’s head started to turn in his direction. Janus took another bite of his dry cereal, pretending like he didn’t notice Logan’s presence.

Janus heard footsteps making their way over to his spot.

‘I don’t think I’ll have a choice, Pam.’

The footsteps stopped. “Good afternoon, Janus.”

Janus looked up and plastered on a small smile.

‘Oh my gosssssh look at that outfit, Janusssssss, you must think he issss ssssso hot!’

“Hello, Logan.”

Janus turned back to his cereal to take another bite.

‘You’re a rude friend. ssss’

‘Bold of you to assssume I’m a friend.’

‘Logan deservesssss better.’

‘Indeed.’

Pamela angrily hissed at Janus.

“How has your day been, Janus?”

Janus looked back to Logan. “As well as a day can be with a snake hovering nearby all the time.”

Logan gave him an amused smile. “It can’t be too terrible. I’ve heard Patton say he would love having a pet that talked to him.”

“I think even he would get tired of Pamela.”

“That bad, hmm?”

Janus chuckled as another hiss sounded loudly in his left ear. “At times. They’re fine a lot of the time, but they’ve also been rather annoying over certain topics.”

“At least it’s not all the time.”

“It feels like it.”

‘Tell him you love him. ss’

‘I will not.’

Logan’s eyes finally spotted Pamela. “What’re they saying, if I may?”

“Nothing of importance.”

‘Are you kidding? I am the mossst important thing in your life right now, but it would be Logan if you weren’t a coward. ssss’

Logan frowned, noticing that no matter how stupid something was, Janus would always translate what Pamela was saying to him with any other person. “Are you sure? Pamela seems quite incessant.”

‘I am! Your boy isss quite attentive. ssss’

‘He’sss not my boy, nor is he a boy, conssssidering he is an adult. Sstop.’

“They are indeed being incessant. It doesn’t mean it is of any importance.”

‘I think you sssshould take him out on a date tonight. You’ve done all the work you need to already, and you need to make up for the rudenesssss you’re dissssplaying right now. ss’

Janus stood promptly, bowl in hand. “Thank you for your concern, Logan. However, I have a bunch of work left to do today, and I need to return to it.”

He started to sink out, but Logan’s hand clasped around his wrist and pulled him back up. He took the cereal from Janus’ hand and set it on the table. Janus looked at him with wide eyes.

“Apologies, Janus, I did not mean to catch you so off guard,” said Logan, noticing Janus’ shock. “However, you have been avoiding me.”

“Where did you get that from?”

Logan rolled his eyes. “I asked Virgil, and he said that he’s had normal, regular interactions with you over the past week. I can’t say I’ve seen you more than seven times.”

“Do you need to see me more often?” Janus asked.

“Um, well, no-” Logan stumbled. “But I was worried. Have I done something to offend you in any way? I sincerely apologize if I ha-”

“No, Logan, not at all,” Janus said, his voice suddenly softer. “You haven’t done anything of the sort and don’t need to apologize.”

‘Now look what you’ve done! He’ssss feeling guilty for no reassson, and it’ssss your fault. Maybe we sssshouldn’t be pursssuing him if you treat him like thisss.’

“Is Pamela saying something again?” Logan asked solemnly.

“Yeah,” Janus answered. “They’re chastising me.”

Logan snorted. “I can’t imagine what for. Either way, I want to know your reasons for ignoring me.”

Janus put a hand on his neck, brainstorming good lies.

“I don’t want you to lie to me. If you lie, we can’t sort things out.”

Janus sighed, dropping his hand. He instead pondered the pros and cons of telling Logan the truth, that Pamela was trying to matchmake them.

“Does Pamela know something you feel towards me that I don’t?”

‘I told you you’re not fucking sssubtle.’

‘Who taught you sswear words???’

‘Remusssss.’

“Do you hate me?”

Janus was startled out of his conversation with Pamela at those words. He opened his mouth to respond but he was at a loss. He didn’t understand how Logan could ever think he hated him. Where did he go wrong?

“Ah. I see you are unwilling to respond. You don’t need to figuratively sugarcoat anything. I was simply curious. The improvement of our communication with each other depends on our understanding and sharing of the opinions we have regarding each other. Only then can we work together properly. I don’t mind. This will be good, so we no longer have any questions-”

Janus was too busy being worried over the future of his friendship with Logan to appreciate how cute he was when rambling. “I honestly don’t know know if you’re blind, insecure, and/or deaf but everything you’ve said in the past two minutes has been baseless and wrong.”

Logan stopped short, looking at Janus like a deer in headlights.

“...What?”

“You heard me. What, in all of our interactions, makes you think I hate you?”

“I...”

“I’m talking with Virgil more than I’m talking to you. Do you know how much Virgil and I used to hate each other, how much shit we’ve gone through? Yet, he and I are still talking normally. You really think that I hate you?”

“It was the logical conclusion from the facts at hand-”

“You were jumping to a conclusion based on cognitive distortions-”

“I resent that!”

Janus stopped to look at Logan’s face. He looked so indignant, impulsive, and so so very confused. Janus didn’t need Pamela for there to be a voice telling him to kiss Logan in that moment. Janus needed to approach this with more care than he was in the present. Logan had clearly been caught up about this.

“This is bothering you, huh?”

“I want our working relationship to be as functional as possible.”

Janus laughed with no humor, shaking his head. “No.” He exhaled. “You want me to tell you, Logan?”

Logan nodded.

Janus put a gloved hand on Logan’s shoulder and gently pushed him to sit on the sofa. Janus sat next to him.

He closed his eyes. “This will negatively affect our working relationship.”

“I imagine so, considering my conclusion came to be quite negative.”

“Not for that reason,” said Janus. “Pamela can read me like a picture book for infants. I do have feelings for you that you are unaware of. Pamela has been harassing me over it. Every time you and I have a conversation, they always implore me to do something that would ultimately end our friendship.”

“Pamela hates me?”

Janus shook his head, repressing a scoff at Logan’s obliviousness. “They always remind me of my desire to be in a romantic relationship with you and try to get me to act on that wish. The result is me feeling a bit...awkward. So, I leave.”

Logan’s lips parted. He didn’t respond for a couple of minutes.

Janus swallowed and nodded. He rose from the sofa and made to sink out. “It was nice being your friend, Logan, you’re a wond-”

Janus didn’t notice that Logan’s hand was still on his wrist. It was, and it tightened around his wrist for the second time in this interaction, stopping Janus from leaving. Logan turned his head to meet Janus’ eyes.

“I wasn’t aware you were able to feel the same.”

It was Janus’ turn to be taken by surprise. He searched Logan’s gaze for a lie, but he could see nor sense none. His hand covered his mouth and he sat back down.

Logan seemed to adjust to the new information, no longer being the one caught by surprise. He moved his free hand to the human side of Janus’ face, taking his hand from his mouth.

Logan made no move to hide that his gaze was fixated on Janus’ lips. “And the methods of acting on these feelings you have been encouraged to engage in...”

Janus caught his lips in a kiss. Logan kissed back, dropping Janus’ wrist to rest a hand on his scales, the other going around his waist.

They pulled apart after a minute, both of them smiling.

‘My work here isss done.’

‘Don’t you dare think you’re ever leaving my cussstody.’

‘Wouldn’t dream of it.’

Logan chuckled. “What is it?” He brushed a lock of Janus’ hair behind his ear.

“They’re happy for us.”

~

Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @justanotherhumanstuff @merlinfreya27

~

Thanks for the prompt! I really loved writing this and there isn’t enough Loceit anywhere. I know this was probably supposed to be snake-fixated but I really liked the idea of the snake making Janus get his act together and kiss the boy. I hope you liked it!

[the-sunshine-dims]

closest thing to perfect

words: 1197

ao3

summary: Roman and Patton dance, and after a bit of protest, Janus joins them,

contents and warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, royaliceit, picnics, food mention, cursing.

_______

Patton giggles as Roman spins him around in the little meadow he had created just for him and Janus.

It was honestly enough to make him breathless any time he remembered that fact, because not only did he have two of the sweetest boyfriends, one of them created an entire valley for them. 

He smiles toothily as Roman dips him, honestly, it didn’t make sense with the way they were dancing because dipping was typically overly romantic and fancy and associated with ballrooms and other fancy places and they were just spinning around in a wild field and twirling and dancing so loosely that they had to work extra hard not to fall.

but it didn’t really matter if it fits the dance or not because it’s so fun and when Roman pulls him up so they're both standing again and so both don’t end up falling their both smiling so wide and giggling so much instantly that they practically collapse right into the grass anyway, which makes them giggle even more.

It’s so fun, just being there with them.

Patton and Roman turn their heads as they hear Janus call over to them from the picnic blanket he had put under the shade of a perfectly placed tree and decided to never leave ‘because dears I would rather not get so sunburnt I can’t move without pain’ which was honestly fair but they had still teased him a little, it was the law after all, “my doves, when you’re done being the cutest of treasures in the world, why don’t you two join me in the shade to grab a bit of lunch before you two burn in the sun.” and honestly it took a lot not to giggle and blush at that- some of which Patton doesn’t have, and Janus says everything with such a plain face like he didn’t call them a pet name or call them cute and treasures or anything, and it makes Patton giggle all the more.

But even if Patton- and technically Roman but he has the integrity to pretend he’s not- even if their giggling to themselves as they hurry to try and untangle their limbs and make sure Patton’s dress and Romans skirt hadn’t been damaged by the grass, they still do the best they can to make it to Janus quickly, Patton, of course, being first because somehow he’s fast, happily collapses onto Janus, Janus sighed and adjusted so it was comfortable and so he wasn’t being elbowed right in the stomach, and then as if on cue of Roman realizing, there was a gasp as Roman came over as well, laying haphazardly on both of them, meaning Janus was solidly stuck.

“My darling heart has abandoned me, I’m heartbroken over this betrayal-“

“Songbird, dear, after lunch, right now you two need to eat, and I need to be able to move.”

Roman gasped “rude!-” but at a look he just sighed and huffed before agreeing “okay fine we can eat,” and Janus was almost relieved because he loved them but he also loved having not asleep legs, and the two needed food, he was pretty sure they had been too excited to even eat breakfast, and dramatics tended to interrupt food, however, that almost relief was stripped from him swiftly as Roman grabbed a couple of things from the basket they had brought, passed some off it to Patton, before relaxing right back onto both of them.

“You bastard.”

Roman ignored him and pretended he didn't have the biggest shit-eating grin.

“You bastard, bastard man,” he said, continuing and Roman laughed breathlessly to himself, almost unable to eat without choking.

“Truly heinous, my own boyfriend betrayed me, quite rude.” He said, completely deadpan, and Roman burst into giggles, completely and utterly guilty.

Patton giggles to himself at the interaction before piping up “sugar scales, firefly, I hate to interrupt but I can’t move and I want some of the lemonade”

Roman moved immediately with a bright smile “oh of course! why didn’t you say so sooner!” 

Patton smiled thankfully before grabbing some from the water bottle and happily sitting right into Janus’s lap again.

Janus just breathed deeply before sighing “you two are nightmares, and sometime in the foreseeable future I’ll need to move too, you know”

They giggle to themselves like it’s the funniest thing before Roman goes “it’s the price for not joining us to dance and hiding in the shade like a coward.”

Patton nods in agreement under Janus’s chin and he can’t help but sigh again, “really, are you two this spiteful?”

Roman hums to himself ��I am! You knew that when you asked me out, Don’t know about Patton though, however, I do think at least 40% of his actions are fueled by spite so I mean-“

“You two suck,” Janus said deadpan and Patton nodded gleefully as he sipped his lemon-sugar juice. 

“You love us,” Roman said smugly.

“You are the bane of my existence.” he corrected

“Sounding a bit like Virgil there my striking cobra,” roman chided.

Janus huffed a laugh “I do not sound like him,” he said, before muttering under his breath, “maybe you’re a bit right about the first bit though, just a little.” and really only Patton could hear him for the second part, so Roman was completely confused when Patton began giggling all over again. 

Janus spared a fond smile, wrapping his arms loosely around Patton before trying to barter his freedom “so, if that is the source of your spite, would I get my limbs back if I dance with you two sweethearts?”

Roman and Patton grinned as they both looked at each other before Roman tried his best to act like that was not his desired outcome as he sighed overdramatically “fine I suppose, that would work.”

Janus huffed before helping Patton get up, Patton chipperly stood up and dusted himself off from the previous ground he had fallen on, before looking at Janus expectantly as he held out his hand, Janus hesitated as he looked at his sun hat a foot or so away  “don't you think it’ll fly off or get in the way?” He asked, in an unspoken way of asking can I bring it? He liked hats, they were a steady weight, and he also liked not being blinded by the sun.

Patton nodded with a grin and after Janus swooped the hat over his head Patton pulled him up happily, completely pleased with the outcome, and not making any move to hide it.

Dancing had always been fun, but Janus didn’t think he had ever loved it any more than he did today.

Dancing with his boyfriends as they spun around, occasionally falling or dipping each other.

He loved them more than he could ever say, or describe.

Everything they did made his heart want to burst.

And Roman, and Patton, both felt the same.

And that knowledge, as they spin him around with the biggest smiles, made more of a difference than he ever thought it would.

He loved them, and they loved him.

It was the closest thing to perfect a thing could ever be.

[hteragram-x]

Remus Sanders is an artist HCs

I think that there are too many people who sleep on the fact that Remus is an artist. I mean… sure… his creativity is probably mostly spent on creating disturbing thoughts and coming up with lewd jokes. But I refuse to believe that he does not make art just for the cool aesthetic or to put his ideas into a tangible object (or performance). I’ve seen more stories where Virgil was an artist for some reason... and Remus wasn’t even if he’s a literal embodiment of Creativity. Gotta fix it.

We know that Roman is an excellent singer and actor. He can draw (Mona Lisa) and write (gift for Logan; songs; poetry) as well. But he couldn’t really play an instrument (see: Moving On) and he mentioned that Thomas probably shouldn’t show his dancing skills, so maybe he’s not the best at that too. He’s good at costume design and tried interior design as well. The list goes on. He clearly has his strengths and weaknesses in this department.

So what about his brother? (get ready for that Creativitwins content… and maybe some hints at Intrulogical and Dukeceit too)

...

...

...

1. Remus is great at playing instruments. He can play almost everything he tries if you give him a few minutes to check how it works. But being his chaotic self he most often plays instruments that are super loud and annoying.

2. When no one listens he sometimes tries instruments that are more soft and romantic, but you’ll lost your ears and eyes if you ever discover it. Deceit once did. He promised to not tell anyone, but he still remembers the sight of Remus with a silver harp, singing some angsty ballad like a dramatic bastard he is.

3. He likes to make his own instruments too. From everything. And I mean everything. Which includes vegetables, bones, soil, parts of furniture or dirty laundry. Don’t ask.

4. He’s good at singing, but prefers playing.

5. So he often plays for Roman and since they both enjoy coming up with their own songs they regularly perform something one of them wrote.

6. They sometimes try rap battles, so Roman can practice for his eventual rematch with Logan, but rapping is really not their style. And most often than not they end up laughing too much to perform and just add as much nonsense and disgusting jokes to the lyrics as possible.

7. And maybe when Thomas was younger they had a very “hardcore” band called: The Empire Has Fallen. And maybe they sang about not being loved and appreciated. So what? None of our business.

8. Remus is great at sewing (yes, sometimes it means visiting the sewers). And costume design (have u seen his clothes?!). At first most of his drawings were inspired by Roman’s – he just wanted to do something that was a complete opposite. But later he gave himself more creative freedom.

9. Remus designed and made Janus’ costume. I mean… the snake boy is fashionable and all. But it doesn’t mean he can create something on his own. He just said “black and yellow… and I want a hat” and Remus was like: “ALREADY ON IT!” (at first he gave him a bee costume with a top hat as a joke).

10. He’s not great at interior design, because he values the creepy aesthetic over comfort and practicality. So his room was mostly created by Roman who kept the colour scheme and the atmosphere of a damp and weirdly luxurious basement, but added a lot of pillows and greenish lamps in various corners. (There was a long argument about keeping the artistic bloodstains on the walls.)

---

11. He’s excellent with make-up. But he does not try too hard while doing his own, because he likes to look like he has not slept for two weeks.

12. He can dance, but doesn’t do that often. Especially since part of his charm is being intentionally ungraceful and positioning his limbs at weird angles. However, he dances with Roman or Janus if they want to. (With Roman it often ends in a playful fight; with Janus dancing can turn into a semi-romantic, passionate performance to some villain songs.)

13. He’s just as good at drawing as Roman, but obviously their inspirations are very different. Remus most often draws people… with way too many details and a lot of attention to anatomical correctness. You know exactly what he draws. I’m not gonna say it.

14. Logan taught Remus a lot about anatomy of both humans and animals so he can draw as realisticaly as possible. And if they dissected a body in the basement to be extra sure how the liver looks that’s also none of our business.

15. When they were kids Patton promised he will put his drawing on the fridge next to Roman’s if he promises to not draw blood and corpses. Initially he drew some disturbing pictures of naked people to mess with the rest of the sides, but only Logan could look at them without being too grossed out. And since Remus really wanted some validation, he showed Patton his designs of new weapons and pictures of deep-sea creatures (some real, some fictional). A few of them were on the fridge for so long that the ink has slightly faded.

16.  The pictures of sea creatures were partially responsible for Logan’s fear of the bottom of the ocean. But it’s a phobia fuelled by curiosity and scientific fascination so he does not complain and often complements the most terrifying designs.

17.  His weirdest creative outlet is creating new animals. (Roman’s manticore-chimera was heavily inspired by Remus’ mush-ups). And maybe he sometimes invites a certain local nerd to admire his work and help him with coming up with Latin-based names for his dear abominations. And maybe they enjoy adding antlers to fish a little bit too much. And then giggling about it. Stop judging. Gosh…

18.  Remus is unfamiliar with the term minimalism. Or rather he pretends it does not exist. With his ideas the concept of “less is more” will never apply.

19.  He loves sculpting. He’s not great with it, but you can make a big mess with clay, so he finds it relaxing. Sewing is also relaxing, but in a more “I’m already calm so let’s do something tame” sort of way. Sculpting is better to vent. Ya know… create a face out of clay and then punch it real hard. Or smash a block of granite with a mace and see what interesting shapes you end up with.

20.  The art he’s most embarrassed with (if he’s capable of such a feeling at all) is his doodles. He thinks they’re too soft and cute. But he draws them anyway, because sometimes he’s just tired, but still needs to do something with fidgeting hands and all the ideas buzzing in his head like a swarm of hornets.

 ...

More to be added. I myself am full ideas.

[I did part 2. It’s HERE, if you’re interested.]

[fakeloveaskblog]

((not me chanting run run run to janus whilst reading that fic aaaaaa)) remy he is that bad, unfortunately. Like more than that bad, but do remember that it is your choice and no one, I mean Jo one, is pressuring you. 🐌🕸

(tw: abuse, U!virgil. y'know the usual)

Remy twirled the note that Janus had given them between their stale fingers. Just thinking about calling the number that had been written down on it, the number to the abuse shelter, gave them a headache.

They sent you a tired look when they heard you speak "....I know.....girl it's having the choice that is the like problem...i can't choose...i..i want to stay with Virgil but whenever he's around i tense up so much it feels like my bones will jump out of my skin an-and" They rolled their eyes "Girl I'm not stupid!- or i mean i am stupid but like- ugh- I know I shouldn't tense up around him! I know it ain't normal!"

they took a drag from the cigarette they had in their other hand to give themself time to think.

"I know what Janus wants me to do. And I know what Virgil wants me to do. And I'm just stuck in the middle" They sighed "Remus gets it. He gets me"

They kept holding onto the note as they moved their hand up to trail along their neck. They'd had another nightmare about it last night, but Janus has been there, not in the good way.

"maybe..." Their voice was weak "maybe me and Virgil just needs some distance...we've been together for so long....maybe if we....live separately for a little while...everything will work itself out...and we can go back to normal.....we could still meet up and uhm talk and go on dates even if i lived somewhere else right?...yeah.....yeah the...uhm if i call the shelter...it's...it's not too break up with virgil....i would never leave him- i love him....it would just be to get some distance....yeah....yeah that works....."

They didn't want to try and think of what 'normal' meant. Virgil was away at work but Remy thought it would be the best to hide in the bathroom while calling the shelter. In case he came home while on the call they could turn on the water to hide the noise and say they were just taking a shower.

They put out the cigarette against the nightstand and took a popper instead. They quickly dragged off the lid and pressed it up to their nose. Hopefully it would help with the pain. They put an extra one in their pocket just to be sure.

The cane laid discarded on the floor. They picked it up and managed to force themself up on their feet. They even walked a few steps before the pain got so bad it was literally blinding and their knees buckled under. A thud went out into their apartment as their head hit against the doorframe.

Remy curled in on themself and shut their eyes to try and force back tears. They held back a grimace as well. The frustration built up inside them until they hit their hand against the floor, which just made their wrist hurt.

"i'm so pathetic. this is so stupid. just bullshit. i'm pathetic" They mumbled to themself while trying to get up.

After some time they managed to get to the bathroom. Their limbs ached and the place on their spine where it had cracked felt like it was on fire. They leaned against the wall and took out their phone. The note was pressed tight in their palm.

They typed in the first digit. Their finger was shaking. For a few seconds they stared at the screen before quickly shutting it off.

"I can't do this! I can't! It- I can't betray Virgil like this! I can't! I can't do this! I'm just pathetic! I can't even do this!"

All Remy could focus on was breathing. Tears pressed on again but they held it back. They took out the other popper from their pocket and pressed it to their noise. Everything started to get fuzzy. Everything seemed lighter. Easier.

"no. no. i gotta do it. i can do this. it's just a phone call. it ain't even like i'm booking a bed there. just talking. i can do this. i have to. i'm so sick. i have to"

Remy typed in the rest of the number and called.

A woman with a voice soaked in honey answered "Hello. New eden abuse shelter here. Is there any issue?"

They froze. Their mouth stood agape with no words coming out. Everything got too fuzzy. Too bright. It was hurting their eyes. The headache kept throbbing.

"...Hello?.....Are you in a safe enough place so you can speak?" The woman asked.

Remy hit their hand against their head to try and make sense of their muddled thoughts.

"Yeah uh yeah. I was uh. Yeah I'm calling to uhm. Yeah hi hello" Remy's voice was so shaky it was ridiculous.

"Sir, do you need any help to prevent further abusive actions?"

"Yes! Or wait no it's not really abuse per say. But uhm I just- I mean- Yeah I'm calling to- I just need the address to the shelter please. Thanks. I can uh I have uhm like 15 dollars if- if it costs anything to stay"

A few seconds of silence went by before the woman calmly responded "Sir, I'm sorry but this is a shelter for women and nonbinary people"

Remy managed to get out a weak "i-i am nonbinary"

"You know what I mean. Most of the people here have been hurt by men and this is supposed to be a safe place. I'm sorry, I'm sure there are other places for you. It's just to not hurt anyone's healing process"

A part of them wanted to beg to her that they were being hurt. That he'd strangled them. But they pushed it back. It wasn't that bad between them and Virgil. It was just their fault, they kept doing everything wrong. There were other people much more deserving of help that they would have taken that help away from. They could just keep quiet and get through it until everything went back to normal.

"...i'm...i'm sorry" Was all Remy managed to get out before hanging up.

The tears pushed on again so they slammed the back of their head into the wall to hold it back. They could barely breathe. Their tongue felt heavy in their mouth.

Something copper like touched their lips and it took a few moments before they realized they were having a nose bleed. They didn't care to stop it. They let the blood flow down from their lips to their neck to their collarbones. The colors were so bright it was like they were impaling their eyes. Every sound was so loud it was horrible.

Time went by, they didn't know how much. The fuzziness was still there. It didn't feel like they could move, and yet they flinched when they heard the door open.

"Baaabe. I got the flu. The uhh love uh flu. Oh god this sounds much cheesier than in my head. Holy shit. I just want kisses okay. Forget everything before that. Just kisses please" Virgil greeted.

They could hear him kicking off his shoes and throwing off his jacket. Could see him walk past the doorway into the bedroom, before walking back to see them sitting on the floor. He held up a plastic bag.

"I bought more ramen. If you want that. Also why are you on the floor, with blood on your face. Honey I thought I told you we would only try cannibalism together like a true couple"

Remy stared up at him with eyes filled with terror "I- I was- I was going to shower but my body- it hurt- nosebleed- it all hurts"

Virgil hunched down next them and moved their hair behind their ear before kissing them "Aw babe. You reek of poppers. You shouldn't be surprised by the nosebleed"

"sorry"

"It's okay. Want me to help you into the shower?"

Remy nodded. Virgil gave them another kiss before moving his arms under their shoulders to help them up on their feet. He moved them over to the bathtub and sat them down on the edge of it. They dragged off their shirt while he took off their underwear. Their entire body was shaking from fear but they hoped he would just assume it was because of pain.

Virgil helped them down into the bathtub and then, to Remy's surprise, the turned around and picked up their phone. He leaned against the wall while checking it.

"uhm babe what- what are you doing?" Remy stuttered out.

"Oh you know. Just doing the usual. You shouldn't bring your phone into the bathroom, it could have gotten water on it"

"sorry"

They couldn't breathe. They couldn't breathe. They couldn't breathe.

Virgil checked for minutes on end. His eyes just seemed to linger on the screen, as if he wanted to make them nervous. He suddenly brought the phone up to his ear and put on a sickly sweet tone.

"Hello? Which number is this?"

His eyes wandered to his partner as someone answered. He forced a smile, like the one he used in customer service.

"Oh of course. Excuse me. I must have gotten the wrong number. Have a nice day!"

He hung up and shrugged.

"Weird. I get that you're hungry but you gotta recheck Uber-eats number before you randomly call someone. Okay?"

Remy's mouth felt so dry they were surprised when they managed to force out an "okay. sorry"

"Don't apologize. I'm just gonna put your phone out in the living room so it doesn't get water on it. Oh and your cane, don't want water on the gift the lovely lil ghost fuckers gave you"

He promptly took their cane and phone and left the room for only a few seconds before coming back and closing the door behind him. He undressed before getting in the bathtub as well.

Remy had curled in on themself again, with their arms snaked around themself and with their knees pulled up to their chest. The water hit their back as Virgil put it on. He leaned close and kissed them along their collarbones, they had to force back the urge to flinch away.

"Ugh it was horrible today. The manager made me go around in the bed area. The BED area!!! DO you know how many people tried to go up and ask me things! As if I would know shit about beds! I'm a vampire! I don't even sleep! What the fuck!!" Virgil complained while taking the shampoo bottle and putting some on his hands.

"sounds like hell" They mumbled back.

"IT SURe was!!"

Virgil massaged the shampoo into his partner's greasy hair. They kept trembling even if his hands were gentle.

"You've done anything today?" He asked.

"...not really....got high...was in pain....nothing unusual" They nearly choked on the lie. They didn't let themself look away from him.

"Mhm. Sounds boring as fuck"

He took a handfull of their hair to lean their head back so he could rinse it through with water. Remy could practically feel the grease get rubbed out. It actually felt nice.

Virgil's grip on their hair suddenly turned painful. He pulled their head back so it felt like their scalp was being dragged away from their skull before slamming their head underwater.

Remy let out a scream. The water went down their throat making them choke. Air bubbles floated up. Virgil's hand was still in their hair, his other hand pressed down on their chest to keep them there.

Their limbs were frozen in fear. They couldn't move. They couldn't breathe. Everything turned blurry. Their heart started to ache.

Suddenly Remy was being pulled up out of the water. There was still a hand in their hair. They gulped for air. All they saw was a blur. A spinning mess of a blur. They didn't understand what was happening.

"What did they say?" Virgil sneered out.

"what. w-who?"

"THE ABUSE SHELTER. YOU IDIOT! You better not lie to me"

"they- nothing- they didn't- i wasn't- they didn't allow me there-"

Remy didn't get to finish their sentence. They were pushed underwater. Their body wrought around in Virgil's grip. Their hands clambered desperately onto his wrists to try and force his hands away but he just forced them down for even longer.

Even though they tried to hold their breathe the air got knocked out of their lungs. Their hands numbed, their entire body numbed.

Virgil pulled them up from the water. Their stared right through him while hyperventilating. Tears went down their cheeks but they didn't make a single sound.

"NO ONE WANTS YOU! YOU GOT THAT!? NOT THE GROSS JANUS GUY. NOT THE REMUS FREAK. NOT EVEN THE FUCKING ABUSE SHELTER WANTS YOU!"

Remy barely even took in the words. They heard he was yelling. It was all just sounds. They could hear their heart beating out of their chest.

"IF YOU LEAVE THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL WANT YOU ARE RANDOM GUYS WHO WILL FUCK YOU FOR A WEEK AND THEN LEAVE YOU ONCE YOUR ONLY WORTH HAS BEEN USED UP. YOU'LL WITHER AWAY AND DIE BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO USELESS TO EVEN GET INTO A BATHTUB ON YOUR OWN. OR SOME OTHER GUY WILL TAKE YOU AND FUCK YOU FOR A WEEK AND I JUST KNOW YOU WILL LET THEM ONE AFTER THE OTHER BECAUSE WITHOUT ME YOU'RE JUST A STUPID USELESS WHORE WAITING TO DIE!"

The anger was blinding. Virgil didn't even know what he was saying. Barely even why. He just had to. He didn't know what else to do.

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!?"

Remy kept staring out into nothing. Virgil forced them underwater again. Their lungs were burning. Their entire body was burning. Every nerve. Every bone. Every single inch.

Their body moved on it's own. Their arms tried to push him away while their legs kicked at anything and everything. They kicked Virgil right in the stomach, nearly knocking him over.

He let out a swear while dragging them up from the water. He slammed their head into the edge of the bathtub before letting go off them.

The pain pierced their head like a nail. Remy trembled as they moved as far away from their boyfriend as they could. Blood spilled out into the water. Their hands latched onto the edge of the bathtub, as if to keep themself upright. They kept staring out into nothing.

"I was gonna be nice y'know. I was gonna let you have your meds back any day now" Virgil lied "But you just had to go and betray me again! You just can't stop lying! Is that in your blood or something?! I didn't even think there was enough thinking happening in your brain to make up a lie. No wonder you never make up a good one!"

Remy didn't respond.

"You're a bad partner. A liar. A backstabber. You let me do all of the work. Don't you think I get tired!? I have to hold this relationship together while doing literally everything for you!! You can Not except anyone else to do this for you! Willingly! That's why you shouldn't even try, you don't have a choice unless you want to like die or get yourself a 60 year old sugar daddy who will hook you up on coke 'till you die. Death either way!"

Remy didn't respond.

"WHY AREN'T YOU SAYING ANYTHING!? You're giving me a headache! You're so fucking infuriating to be around sometimes. Insanity inducing! THAT'S ALL YOU ARE MOST OF THE TIME! AN ANNOYANCE! A THING IN THE WAY! A BURDEN! 99% OF THE TIME YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY FUCKING WORTHLESS"

Remy still didn't say anything. Virgil moved closer and leant their chin up to force them to look at him.

"It's no wonder your daddy beat you" He snarled out.

Remy's eyes widened. Their quiet crying grew into sobs. Still unnervingly silent. Ugly sobs that racked their entire body while they kept looking at him.

It took a moment before Virgil even realized what he'd said. He let go of them and slammed his hand over his mouth. He backed away before stumbling up from the bathtub.

"I- I didn't mean that! I DIDN'T MEAN THAT!"

Virgil caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror as he paced back and forth. Without thinking he punched his fist right into the mirror. The already cracked mirror broke even further, as blood pooled out of his knuckles.

He stumbled back and sat down with his back against the bathtub. He leaned his head in his hands as he started to hyperventilate. It wasn't panic attack levels of bad hyperventilating, it was more for show really.

"i didn't mean that. i didn't mean any of that. i didn't mean to do that. i promise. I'm not like that" He gasped out. "you just make me so angry! why can't you just stop making me angry! just stop lying an-and just- just stop! HOW IS IT THIS HARD TO NOT MAKE ME ANGRY!"

Remy turned to him. Blood was still going down from the new wound at the side of their head, and yet they leaned close to him and took his hand.

"I'm sorry" They mumbled out. "I know it's my fault. I'm sorry"

They pressed kisses to each of his knuckles. His blood got on their teeth.

"Why would you even call the shelter? I'm just- I'm just trying to take care of you. Why do you keep hurting me"

"I'm sorry...i'm just....i'm just stupid...not thinking things through..sorry"

Virgil's expression softened. He cupped their cheek which made them flinch.

"Aww, it's okay babe. I think I get it. The pain is making your brain all wrong isn't it? It's making you confused isn't it? You're not thinking correctly right now. All your memories get scrambled and your emotions gets too much and you think things happened that didn't actually happen. I guess I can't be mad at you for decisions your deteriorating brain is making. Really it was Janus and Remus fault for even letting you be with them in the first place. They were just using you to get what they wanted. It's quite clear you're stupid enough to be easily manipulated after all, no offense"

Remy was too dissociated to respond properly. They just nodded.

Virgil pulled them into a hug and combed his fingers through their blood stained hair, before kissing them long and hard.

"It's okay. I'll keep taking care of you. I love you, no matter what. Even if you're an infuriating burden"

"i'm sorry"

"It's okay babe. As long as you can take me getting fed up with your nonsense every now and then, I can take how useless you are at most things. This is like the whole base of having a lasting relationship y'know, accepting each other's faults"

Remy let out a small "mhm" They leant into the embrace, half out of it. It felt like they would pass out any second now. Their head kept throbbing in rhythm with their heartbeats.

"Let's just forget about this. Or I mean not forget the very important relationship realization we just had. Y'know accepting our faults and all that. But forget the other stuff! That happened before! Your wound will heal in no time so it will all be gone!"

(tw: some questionable consent coming up. nothing described in great detail. virgil does honestly believe it's 100% consensual if that helps)

He kept combing his fingers through their head "So let's just fuck and forget about this. Okay? Y'know fucking is like making a clean slate. We can ignore everything, except for the important stuff, that happened before. Okay?"

Remy looked right through him. Their head had lolled to the side "mhm"

"Okay good. Good. Great. We can just forget all that then. Good. I love you"

He leant in and kissed them while picking them up. They leant their head against his shoulder. Their eyes wandered over to their phone and cane laying on the couch as they passed the living room.

He laid them down on the bed. Remy reached out to take a popper, half out of routine. Virgil grabbed their wrist to stop them.

"You already had a nosebleed 'cause of them today, you really gonna take more?"

It took a few seconds before they replied "mhm"

He sighed and let their wrist go "Fine. I guess it's your choice"

"mhm"

They brought it up to their nose and took it in. They left it laying in their half open palm as their face got pushed down into the mattress. His hands were around their wrists.

Their eyes were blankly staring into the wall, barely regristrating anything, until the pain cut in. They started to cry before they even realized it.

They tried to hide it like they usually did. Tried to hold the winces in. But their head was spinning and time was a blur. Dark spots started to appear in their vision. They couldn't tell where the pain stopped and the feeling of their skin began.

"stoppleasestop" They mumbled out.

"You okay?"

They nodded.

Virgil let out a big sigh while rolling his eyes, but he did as told. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Way to be a moodkiller, like always. Y'know babe it's real difficult to get it on when you start crying like that every time. Or when you have that constant dead eyed look but only during like sex. Like a fucked up zombie, literally"

"i'm sorry"

"Don't Apologize! You can't help it. I know. I'm just a bitch. It Is annoying though. I mean you always think a whore would be good at sex y'know"

Remy stared down into the floor. Guilt started to eat them alive. Blood was smearing onto the pillow. They were already such a burden, they had to make up for it somehow. They had to be useful. They were useless in every other way. They had to. They had to. They had to.

The crying got worse even if they tried to hold it back. If they couldn't even be good at their only use then were they even worth anything at all. They choked on their words. There was still water in their stomach from being forced underwater.

"actually..i...i...it's fine...you...we can keep going" Remy choked out.

"You sure? it's your choice. No one is pressuring you"

They couldn't stand being a burden "yeah. i-i'm sure"

A sly smile appeared on his lips as he moved to kiss them. His tongue got pressed down into their mouth. Remy did their best not to cry, not to flinch. When he put his hand in their hair they wanted to scream. They wanted to run. Their face got pressed into the mattress so hard they couldn't breathe properly. Their body was frozen in effort to not cry, they couldn't move their head, couldn't tell him to lighten his grip.

The pain got blinding again. Everything got too much. The quick high off the popper started to wear off. Their spine was on fire again. Like someone was hammering nails all along their bones. Cutting up every single nerve piece by piece. They kept trembling and forcing back the urge to cry and flinch and throw up the water in their stomach until it all got too much. Until they passed out.

When Remy woke up again everything ached. Their sight was blurry. There was blood on their lip from a second nosebleed.

They'd been tucked under the blanket. Virgil was sitting on the edge of the bed with his boxers on and with a cigarette between his lips. Remy decided to keep pretending to be passed out. They couldn't take any more of it. They were so afraid if he knew they were awake they would have to do something more to prove they weren't a total burden. There stood a glass of water next to them on the nightstand and their raccoon plushie had been placed right onto their chest.

There was an empty pit in their stomach. Like an empty space where nothing could be placed to fill it up. Tar was filling their throat, reaching out into their mouth.

The dissociation fled away. Some sort of clarity appeared, but the clarity only consisted of regret. Every choice they'd made suddenly felt so idiotic they couldn't understand how they hadn't realized it sooner. They felt guilty. They felt like they were made out of tar. They felt like they had to tear themself out of their skin because their skin hadn't been theirs for years now. They had to scrape it off. They had to cut each and every skin cell off.

They wanted to- They wanted to be with Janus and Remus. The guilt got even worse at that. Somewhere at the back of their head they knew their crushes were probably at the Hanukkah party right this very moment. They wished they could close their eyes and recall Janus' warmth and Remus' scratchy laughter and pretend they were right there with the two of them. But they couldn't pretend, not when there was empty pit eating their insides. All they wanted was getting to escape to them, getting to dream away with them, for a moment their brain surged with all the happy memories they could have made together with them right this instant if they had let Janus help them leave like he'd begged them to.

(Remus was literally having a panic attack right in that instant, but Remy didn't have to know that)

Remy felt nauseous from longing. They couldn't take all of it at once. They wanted to escape. But they knew Virgil was right, there was no way they could actually leave, much less break up with him. They would just end up on alone on the street or dead no matter what. Either way they were too afraid of what Virgil would do if they tried to leave and failed to even consider it right now.

They didn't even want to leave him. Just the pain. They just wanted to dissociate from it...from it all....oh.

"babe" Remy let out in a raspy breathe.

Virgil nearly dropped his cigarettes "REMY! Are you okay? youpassedoutIdidn'tknowifyouwereokayIgotsoscared! Are you okay?"

"Babe. I love you. Love you so. I know you can get like weed and poppers.....Can't you get harder stuff?"

[analogicalreasoning]

@paytonthefrog I brought this up to my friends too! I think since we've only seen Janus' extra limbs from Remus' perspective, and Remus has all those sick, twisted religious connections, that the seraphim resemblance was done on purpose! Yet another subtle yet excellent nod to underlying themes. I love good writing ❤️

[willowaudreykeyes]

The Sides And Their Cuddles

Janus: 

He has two types of cuddles, but he is always the initiator because he can get overwhelmed by others hugging him.

One of the types of cuddles he has is just with his usual two arms. He holds someone close with one, as the other hand either rubs circles onto the cuddlee’s shoulder or cards his fingers through the cuddlee’s hair. It depends on the cuddlee’s likes.

His other type of cuddle is with all six of his arms. He surrounds the cuddlee with them, preferably laying down, and he actively hisses at anyone that gets too close because this is bonding time. He will give his cuddlee his full attention and no one can stop him until he feels like the cuddlee is okay. And since he has the extra arm room, he can take up to three cuddlee’s at a time. One on either side and another laying on top of him. Free warmth too so that’s a bonus.

He always asks for permission, talking throughout the cuddling as he likes to be an anchor for the cuddlee(s) to latch onto so that they feel completely and utterly safe in his arms.

Remus: 

He has a smorgasbord of cuddle types; from tackle hugging to collapsing into a group and pulling them all close with his arms (and the occasional third arm that the original owner is currently missing)

But he loves cuddling with his tentacles. He gets lost in thought a lot when he’s stuck in one place, which is 90% of all cuddles, but when he has all four-to-eight tentacles and his arms around someone; he feels safe too. It grounds him and he often asks others if he can bring the extra limbs out if he’s had a rough day.

This type of hug is usually reserved for Virgil, Roman and Janus but on the really bad days; Logan, Patton and Thomas can also be asked if the other three aren’t available. 

Virgil: 

He is the type that others have to ask him if he wants to cuddle; and once he says yes he takes over the cuddle. He’s the chin on shoulder or the top of the cuddlee’s head type. The type that grabs at the other persons clothes to make sure they can be as close as possible. The type that can get overwhelmed by hugs, but can also fall asleep rather easily in them.

He loves hugs as he knows that the person he’s holding is safe and there and since they’re the one who has asked; the thought of “Am I bothering them?” isn’t a common occurrence.

He’s also the kind of person who will lift the cuddlee up without breaking the cuddle, and shift them to the couch or bed. It’s comfier then standing (Roman and Patton really love it when he picks them up)

Logan: 

Touch-starved. Represses the urge to hug when the opportunity arises. Biggest hypocrite as he tells the others the negative affects of touch-starvation.

It started with Roman asking for a hug after Logan had helped him through a bad case of the writers block; and he just melted like a puddle. Ever since, he asks for one when a Side is alone and prefers it being a private thing; but he adores every second of it.

He melts into every kind of hug, but loves Janus, Remus’ and Roman’s the most as they all seem to surround him when they cuddle and hug. He does often protests against it; so much so that the others had to help him find a particular phrase that meant “Not right now I’m overwhelmed or too angry for hugs” as he is prone to saying “stop” but not at all meaning it.

He’s rarely ever the hugger as he never knows what to do with his arms. When someone else does need physical comforting, he often asks them to help him with his arms and hands because despite practicing with Patton for three hours straight one time; he still puts his arms and hands in weird positions without help. 

When a hug is cut short; he does whine in protest. He hates that he does it but he does; and he can’t help but notice that more times then not, the cuddler(s) is back cuddling him. So he doesn’t teach himself to stop (despite the moment of guilt he has for guilt-tripping them back into the cuddle).

Roman: 

Hugs everyone all the time. Just woke up? He will hug whoever’s cooking breakfast from behind. Just got back from a long day/week of adventuring? Will pull someone to the couch with him and just fall asleep with them in his arms. 

Just gotten bruising after Thomas did something to bruise his ego? Someone often seeks him out, then let’s him just lay on top of them and listen to their heartbeat. It makes him fall asleep faster then anything else and it helps to be reassured that someone is with him despite his “failure” (Princey, no talking yourself down stop it-)

When he is the cuddler, he loves to wrap him and the cuddlee in a big blanket burrito and just be close to each other. He is a huge talker during said cuddles, but he usually keeps the topics to the cuddlee’s interests; space, cooking, a creation of his etc.

The person that he loves to cuddle with the most though? It’s Remus and no, he hasn’t told anyone. His heart beats the fastest and being near his twin in a more peaceful setting has always made him feel better. (Remus said that his heart beats faster then others because cephalopods have three hearts but Janus said its to make his heart look weirder whenever he feels like ripping it out so who knows-)

He is a surprise hugger/cuddler. You never know when he’ll ask for a quick hug or if they can cuddle with him during a movie; and that’s due to how well he hides his more negative feelings. Virgil and Janus have been asking him for hugs more and more so he isn’t missing out as much as he used to.

Patton: 

Sometimes forgets to ask for permission, but when he does, he often tries to be the cuddler but often ends up becoming the cuddlee. He asks others if they want hugs more then anyone else, but more often then not, he’s the one who really needs them. He doesn’t even realise that he does half the time.

He also doesn’t realise that he has a mild case of touch-starvation; but the others have realised. They often drag him away from trying to do chores into cuddling together on the couch or for a quick hug, which almost always brings him to tear up (he wipes them away quickly, usually before anyone sees)

When he does cuddle, he’s surprisingly strong and a little awkward when it first starts; but he manages to adapt to being one of the nicest to cuddle as he’s like a giant pillow that’s capable of reciprocating. 

Like Logan, he’s a bit of a hypocrite and tells others to ask him when they need a hug. The others have a hard time picking up on it too; but they’re all getting better, including Patton, at knowing when he needs a hug. Which is usually after every time Thomas speaks to any of the Sides as it makes Patton a little jittery afterwards. (It’s because of the adoring affection Thomas has for everyone and it kind of turns into a jittery and cuddle-needing Patton)

@kieraelieson @ladyedwina @grouptalekindnesssoul i saw you guys’ interest in the Sides cuddling so here ya go ^-^

[writerofthespiral]

Kane's Court Analysis #1 - Phule

Author’s Note: I don’t know if I’ll make this a full series or not, but I really just thought that the Armada court, and Phule by that extension, was interesting, especially read from a historical and psychological standpoint. Yes, I'm a nerd.

Word Count: 4,205

Tw: Mentions of Mental Illness

Kane’s Court Analysis - Phule

I. Introduction

A lot can be said about Kane’s court and the machines he built to achieve his grandiose ideas of a perfect world, but more can be said about the cogs in his system. Phule is a broken cog — one that stepped out of line, helped us, and saved the day. He’s someone to be cautious of, love, or fear. There's a certain complexity about him that, when put into perspective, adds a fresh layer to Phule.

II. Behind the Design

When talking about a character in any game, film, or media space, it’s important to tackle the significance of their design. Oftentimes, a person can tell a lot about someone from their looks, which is especially true for the Armada Elites. Phule, for example, is obviously based on a court jester, but it’s not all jokes and laughs.

The Meaning Of The Mask

When talking about Phule’s appearance — or any of the Armada Elite’s — it’s important to understand that they’re mainly based on the Venetian Carnival, the Commedia dell’Arte, and Greek theatre (with hints of Roman influence). Phule’s mask is based on four different masks: The Joker Mask, Comedy & Tragedy, the Pantalone Mask, and the Arlecchino Mask.

The most straight-forward element about Phule is the Jester Mask, seeing as he is a jester. Simply put, "The Joker or Jolly Venetian Masks depict the role of the Jester in the Italian Middle Ages...The Jesters... wore brightly colored clothing in a motley pattern and they were known for their incessant laughter" (Venetian Mask Company). The Jester Mask represents someone who is colorful and entertaining to his audience. It's a universally known mask meant to be taken at face value, just like Phule, until one looks at the other key components of his mask.

When looking at Phule, one sees the famous Comedy & Tragedy Mask associated with theatre and the extremes between euphoria and sorrow. But what most don't know is that the mask has a long, rich history associated with emotions and the human psyche. According to The Greek Designers, "The Comedy mask is known as Thalia, who in Greek mythology is the Muse of Comedy and Idyllic Poetry, portrayed as a happy, cheerful young woman crowned with ivy" (The Greek Designers). The Tragedy mask, in turn, is known as Melpomene, the Muse of Tragedy, who's depicted with the mask in one hand and a knife or club in the other.

The historical significance fails to stop there. "People often relate the masks to Dionysus originally. Dionysus is the Greek God of wine. The masks depict the happy and sad emotions that drinking wine can bring. They have also been linked to the Greek God Janus which is known as the two-faced god of beginnings. It is said Janus lent the name to the masks" (OnStage Blog). This detail is important, because Dionysus and Janus are both significant Gods. Commonly known as the God of wine and ecstasy, Dionysus was the God of madness. And as the God of madness, he was often a symbol of liberation and rebellion for the lower class and marginalized of Greek society — namely slaves. Then, there’s Janus, known as the two-faced Roman God, representing the transition between war and peace, and beginnings and endings.

In addition to this two-faced mask, Phule's mask has hints of the Pantalone Mask. The Pantalone Mask's features include: an exaggerated nose, cheekbones, eyebrows, and a mustache. The Pantalone Mask is the best-known Venetian Masks. It arose from the La Commedia dell’ Arte character, Pantalone, who was one of the most powerful characters. But, the mask itself was created before the Commedia dell’Arte theatre began to use it.

The character of Pantalone is described as “An old Venetian merchant, often very rich and highly esteemed by the nobility, Pantalone is originally known simply by his formal title, Magnifico. A self-made man, he has reached his wealth with ruthless tactics and keeps his money close to him" (The Venetian Mask). He is rich, greedy, lustful, and naïve. Pantalone is, “gullible enough for being taken advantage of from his “servant lovers” or male subordinates: servants, doctors, captains, whoever can get money out of him" (Roberto Delpiano).” His lust also leads to him being rejected by the women he pursues, making him an enemy of the youth.

Applying the Pantalone Mask to Phule, it’s easy to see why he and the Pirate — for the majority of the game — were enemies seeing as Pantalone is a natural enemy to the young. However, it also implies that he was taken advantage of by those around him and was a laughing stock. And, of course, his willingness to save himself and betray his father to save himself is 'selfish' in nature — more on that later.

The last mask, of course, is the Arlecchino Mask (which also inspires Phule's general get-up). More commonly known as the Harlequin Mask, the wearer serves a similar purpose to the Jester, which evolved over time. According to one article:

"As one of the lower ranking, lazier, and stupider servants, he [Arlecchino] is often abused by being yelled at or beaten (with slapstick stage combat) by his masters and others or never paid his wages. Yet he does have a certain luck and can be clever enough to grab hold of any seemingly fortunate situation that happens upon him. He might not think up a plan on his own but he can come up with some amazingly complicated and absurd explanations and rationalizations. Later period harlequins were more prone to become clever tricksters and rascally tramps while still often being foolish or stupid" (Commedia Dell'Arte).

On top of being a tragic figure for the entertainment of others, Arlecchino is said to have demonic origins. “One of the demons in the XXIst, XXIInd and XXIIIrd cantos of Dante’s Inferno is, indeed, called Alichino. The name itself seems to be related to the Old French word for “ghost”, i.e. hellequin, which, in turn, comes from the Germanic root for “hell”. Starting from Dante’s Inferno, this demon would therefore develop into a comic character" (CA’ MACANA). In a way, this gives one some insight into Phule not being a monster, but a tormented soul.

What It Means To Be A Court Jester

One can’t analyze Phule without talking about what he is — a court jester. But his role is no laughing matter. In fact, in a historical context, Kingisle did a decent job in portraying him.

To understand fools, it’s important to understand the three different types of fools: the innocent fool (or natural fool), the amateur fool, and the professional jester (or licensed fool). A natural fool was someone with physical or mental deformities that made it hard for them to receive employment as anything else. Typically, “wealthy or noble families also adopted men and women who had mental illnesses or physical deformities, keeping them almost as pets for their amusement or as an act of ‘Christian charity’”(History extra).

A licensed fool, on the other hand, could best be described as someone hired for their wits and talents, normally wearing regular clothes. Lastly, there were Amatuer fools — they usually wore the jester costume we’re associated with. In any case, “..those with physical deformities, such as extreme hunchback, malformed limbs, particularly ugly visages, etc. were prized, as were dwarves…” (TodayIFoundOut). Taking this into account, and the brazen nature of Valencia, it’s apparent Phule served as both a natural fool and a licensed fool, possibly serving as entertainment for King Casimir. But seeing as court jesters had duties other than entertainment, Phule served Kane very differently.

Although we didn’t see the entertainment-based responsibilities of Phule, we, as players, did see part of his militaristic responsibilities. That’s right — court jesters served important roles to their lord during times of war. In fact, they were political advisors. “Because they had no real fear of reprisal, jesters were able to speak their mind and offer advice when others may have feared to give it” (WeirdHistory). Kings and Queens would often go to them for advice on political matters and choices they’d made. On top of that, Court Jesters were expected to be the bearers of bad news for their lords, having to utilize their wit and comedy to tactfully deliver unsavory messages.

In addition to delivering messages to their lords, jesters would also deliver messages to their enemies during times of war. They were theoretically protected, but there were some that would shoot the messenger — from imprisonment to execution. In addition to their messenger duties, jesters would entertain the King’s troops during times of war to raise their morale.

On top of that, they were also masters of mental warfare as well. Some jesters would ride on the front lines, spewing insults at the enemy. They rode in front of troops to make sure the opponent could hear them. And while this may seem ridiculous, "...the idea was for the jester to provoke those enemies who had explosive tempers into breaking ranks and charging prematurely" (Weird History).

Phule did his job, and did it well, despite his apparent shortcomings. He got under our Pirate’s skin by claiming that he could hear our heartbeat, and lead his own squadron of soldiers. He’s just as threatening when we next see him captured in Fort Elena, albeit much friendlier. And of course, he still manages to affect the Pirate, though he has little time on screen, by causing us a few inconveniences.

He may not have been Spymaster, but he was effective in implanting fear and paranoia in his enemies. Take, for example, the Villa Trigante instance in which the Pirate is — presumably —betrayed and sent to the cellars by Don Giovanni. One of the resistance fighters we face, Beniccio Amati, is quick to say: "You're persistent. I'd expect no less... From Phule's spies…” (P101). And although we aren’t one of Phule’s spies, it makes one wonder: Just how many times has this happened?

In addition to his competence, we can presume Phule is powerful. He’s clearly akin to a Witchdoctor, but we don’t know much else about him. We have, however, seen the results of a battle with him. He cleared a path for the Pirate to enter The Machine, in which, there are plenty of Armada soldiers strewn about. It’s possible that his abilities manifested themselves similarly to Bishop’s use of electricity, that he had some mojo capabilities comparable to Kane (meaning that he could possibly teleport), or that he is wholly chaotic and mojo-based like the Player (if they're a Witchdoctor). If the latter is true, it plays into what Phule said about being destroyed due to being imperfect, especially since the Armada banned hoodoo within their sphere of influence. In any case, it is interesting to see how so much can be told from Phule’s character design alone, but there's still more to explore.

III. Character Analysis

Kingisle put a lot of thought into what type of character Phule would be. According to his Rouge’s Gallery video, Phule “seems to operate purely out of whimsy and caprice” (KI) and “speaks in two different voices, shifting back and forth between twin personalities who are as antagonistic toward each other as they are to any enemy…” (KI). Phule isn’t all there, but make no mistake: he is very capable of doing what he does. The video goes on further to elaborate “that Phule shifts allegiances faster and more often than any other court member”(Ki), which makes sense with how his relationship with the Pirate turns out — which will be touched on later — and gives the player a basic idea of who Phule is, though there is more to analyze.

Our Meetings With Phule

Besides a few outside sources, most of what we know about Phule comes from the three times we see him: Granchia, Fort Elina, and at The Machine (with the exception of the Villa Trigante Cellar), in which a lot more can be observed.

When we first meet Phule in the Granchia Catacombs, the Pirate sees him leading a small squadron of soldiers. It is here that we first meet the two sides of Phule (whom I will refer to as Comedy and Tragedy).

Comedy is a mix between welcoming, eccentric, and mischievous. In one breath he says “Don’t bother trying to hide, I can hear your heartbeat” (P101), yet he also claims to want to let us go. Furthermore, he calls the Pirate resourceful, saying that, “you’d be quite a thorn in the side of Deacon, Bishop, or Kane himself…” (P101). Meanwhile, it is Tragedy that orders his captains to attack us, calling for our surrender.

What's interesting about this first meeting, upon reflection, is that Comedy seems to think about helping us. I’m not suggesting that one side of Phule is ‘good’ and the other is ‘evil’, but that Tragedy seems more inclined to be protective of whatever is in Phule’s best interests. Comedy, on the other hand, is Phule’s desires. This may be why the two sides often disagree. One side thinks we’d be useful in his desired goals while the other does what needs to be done.

When the Pirate discovers Phule in Fort Elena, their interaction is short, but something to note: Phule slightly warms up to the Pirate. Tragedy is still hostile, but comes off as though he was attempting to keep up a facade. Comedy, of course, is the opposite, going so far as to ask us about why we weren’t in Cool Ranch messing with Deacon. In fact, Comedy gives us a well done, because “...[you’ve] become quite the thorn after all” (P101), then tells us to run along with our quest.

And then, there’s the final time we see Phule — right before the machine. Instead of arguing, both sides of Phule are working together for a common goal: to oppose Kane. Both sides of Phule were waiting for us at the machine, both of them told us Kane’s plan, and both agreed to give the Pirate the Key.

And why does he do this? Phule is able to recognize that he isn’t perfect as Kane would say, in his own words. As Comedy it’s, “I've grown fond of this world, and would hate to see it destroyed. I've also grown fond of you. But most of all? I'm just curious to see what will happen" (P101). And after Tragedy sends his regards to Kane, this is the last we see of Phule.

Another thing of note, is when Gazpaccio calls Phule a tormented soul, which begs the question: Does Kane see Phule in the same light he sees Gazpaccio? More than likely, yes, which may have influenced the way he treated the Clockwork. Another thing — how well Gazpaccio and Phule knew each other? Sadly, there’s not much to work with to answer this question.

In any case, these events reveal the type of person Phule is: part of him is chaotic and wants freedom, the other side of him is objective, if not spiteful. Together, the two sides of Phule make a being that is neither wholly good, nor bad, but certainly eccentric, which begs the question: What is Phule to us, the Pirate?

Friend Or Foe?

Although it’s safe to say that Phule is on friendly terms, he and the Pirate aren’t exactly friends. He did betray Kane, but had ulterior motives of his own. And while it appears he’s been contemplating his betrayal for some time, there have also been times when he’s antagonized the Pirate. We also know that he’s a jack-of-all-trades with experience in espionage, being a general, and an admiral. And referring back to the Rouge’s Gallery, “the most paranoid Valencian intriguers wonder if Phule’s antics aren’t just a clever act, hiding a method behind the madness” (KI).

The thing is, we may never truly know if we can or cannot trust Phule. While he may not be our friend per se, our goals aligned, and it's been established that Phule’s alliances don't often last long. He may laugh and revel in the failure of his fellow court members, but he isn't there to like us. In fact, we may serve as a form of entertainment to him, because Phule did watch us instead of fighting by our side (which he clearly showed himself capable of doing). But, it's unlikely he’s going to show up as a foe in the future, and it would be a surprise if that were the case. It’s more likely that Phule simply disappeared somewhere, and the player may never know what happened to him.

The State of Phule’s Mind

Before ending this section, it’s critical to talk about Phule in terms of his light and dark side. While in the game, he is described as eccentric or insane, it’s clear that Phule is mentally ill by our standards. And although it’s hard to judge him by human standards, due to the fact that he's a Clockwork, since Clockworks have shown their ability to showcase complex emotions, they can exhibit mental illnesses.

In Phule’s case, he likely has Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), but here are some important things to understand: you cannot be born with DID, an alter is not necessarily a different personality, and the portrayal of Phule is not wholly accurate. Again, Phule isn’t a human, though his backstory does somewhat align with the development of this disorder.

DID usually occurs in children who have undergone immense stress and trauma for long periods of time, and as a result, were not able to develop a unified sense of identity due to the weight of their memories. Due to this, they develop a system of alters in order to cope with day-to-day life. Similarly, Phule was created to be perfect by a narcissistic father who could never admit to being wrong, and as a result, his mind was ‘off', and he was written as 'insane'.

Phule also has two distinct alters: his light side (Comedy) and his dark side (Tragedy). Comedy is whimsical, friendly, and mischievous and may very well serve as the host, as he seems to front the most, talk the most, and has the most lines out of any of the events. While Tragedy may serve as either a protector, seeing himself as a beacon of logic and strength doing what needs to be done; or a prosecutor, who may have protective goals in an attempt to keep the system from reliving the trauma and abuse they’ve faced, but tend to be harmful and have a distorted view of reality.

In any case, understanding the two sides of Phule is essential to understanding him as a character. He is someone who’s been persecuted due to both his appearance and his mind, which he could not control, and it clearly has had an effect on him.

IV. Phule & Kane’s Court

In analyzing who Phule is as a character, it's just as important to ask why he is the way he is. It’s easy to see how he developed, but, due in part to a lack of backstory, the question of why is somewhat hazy. The player is given a few details in the form of implications about Phule, but also information that was info dumped that leaves behind more questions than answers.

What Was Phule’s Role In The Court

Cannonly, nobody really knows Phule’s role in the court. As said by the Rouge’s Gallery:

“He is neither general nor admiral, though he has captained Armada fleets and armies. He is no spymaster, yet he has performed espionage and been involved in the deepest of Bishop’s intrigues. He is the ultimate wild card, appearing in the most unlikely of places from the Great Halls of the Palaces of the Spiral to the humble backwaters of Skull Island” (KI).

As a character with multiple roles, Phule proves himself to be a valuable player and a jack of all trades. Due to this, one can assume that he would have been more sociable than the rest of the court, or at the very least close to it, due to the fact that it’s established that his allegiances are often fleeting. Though, it can be speculated that his strongest relationship may have been with either Bishop, seeing as he worked for him, or Deacon since both of them seemed to be the most active of Kane’s court.

In relation to the historical context within Pirate101, I could also possibly see Phule being a sort of voice of reason for members of Kane’s court — at least those who would listen. We know what Phule thinks of Kane, but have never actually seen Kane interact with Phule on screen, so the details are murky here. On top of speaking with Kane’s court, it’s possible that Phule entertained and advised King Casimir, in addition to Kane.

Aside from military duties, with how festive Phule is — in concept at least — he may have either planned out various events in Valencia, or at the very least been apart of them. After all, Phule is a court jester, and one of the fundamental jobs that comes with being a court jester is making other people laugh.

Phule’s Relationship With Kane

Another important part of who Phule is is his personal relationship with Kane. Kane is many things: a military genius, a diplomatic wonder, and effective in ruling with an iron fist, but he fails as a father — just as his father failed before him. Kane is a narcissist who expects everything he creates to be unquestionably perfect, which is why he looks at Phule with absolute scorn.

Phule is what he would, likely, consider a worthless child. He wasn’t born right in his eyes, yet Kane continues to use and depend on Phule for his missions. It’s likely that Kane wanted to keep Phule in place, as he did with his other court members, but Phule is the only elite who’s not based on a chess piece.

Phule is a wild card who knew he wouldn’t live up to Kane’s expectations, and he decided to save himself. And although this choice may seem selfish, it’s important to remember that many victims tend to stick around for various reasons — sometimes they aren’t mentally capable or able to leave. We, the player, have seen Phule express himself, and learn kindness. And although he may have hurt people in the past, he was willing to make up for it.

He decided to leave behind a father that never loved him, and never would love him or see him as an equal. He had every right to be scornful and bitter, maybe even take after Kane, but he broke free from the cycle and decided to help the Player because he maybe, genuinely, fell in love with the world that never loved him and all its flaws. That is the beauty of Phule’s character. He’s neither here, nor there, but he’s just as human as you or I — ignoring all the cogs, of course.

V. Conclusion

In terms of character design, personality, and backstory speculation, Phule is a great character despite the little screen time he got. He may be one of the strongest members of Kane’s court, is definitely one of the more mysterious ones, and is an interesting, tormented soul. Whether or not he’s friend or foe, Phule illuminates the environment around him.

Works Cited

CA’ MACANA. “The Arlecchino Mask: a Motley History.” The Best Venetian Carnival Masks in Venice: Ca' Macana, www.camacana.com/en-UK/the-arlecchino-mask.php.

Commedia Dell'Arte. “ARLECCHINO.” Mayhem, Madness, Masks and Mimes - Commedia Dell'Arte, mayhemmadnessmasksandmimes-commediadellarte.weebly.com/arlecchino.html#:~:text=Arlecchino's%20costume%20and%20mask%20are,Arte'%20Character%20Analysis%22).

“Drama Masks: Thalia + Melpomene.” The Greek Designers, 6 Nov. 2018, thegreekdesigners.com/2016/03/07/drama-masks-thalia-melpomene/.

“Jester (Jolly or Joker).” Masquerade Masks & Venetian Masks Company, www.italymask.co.nz/shop/Decorative+Masks/Jester+JollyJoker%3Fcat=01108.html#:~:text=The%20Joker%20or%20Jolly%20Venetian,known%20for%20their%20incessant%20laughter.

KingsIsle, director. Pirate101 Rogue's Gallery: Phule. YouTube, YouTube, 3 June 2015, www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VdwBDdeMYo&list=WL&index=69&ab_channel=KingsIsleEntertainment.

“Pantalone Mask.” Kartaruga, 7 Aug. 2017, kartaruga.com/mask/pantalone-the-magnificent/.

“Pantalone Masks.” THE VENETIAN MASKS, 21 Jan. 2021, www.thevenetianmasks.com/pantalone-masks/.

Staff, OnStage Blog. “The Origins of the Comedy and Tragedy Masks of Theatre.” OnStage Blog, OnStage Blog, 21 June 2020, www.onstageblog.com/editorials/comedy-and-tragedy-masks-of-theatre.

TodayIFoundOut, director. What Was It Actually Like to Be a Court Jester in Medieval Times? YouTube, YouTube, 31 Oct. 2019, www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkLZYEIslWM&ab_channel=TodayIFoundOut.

“Welcome to the Pirate101 Wiki.” Pirate101 Wiki :: The Largest and Most Accurate Pirate101 Wiki :: Featuring Guides, Companions, Quests, Pets, Bosses, Creatures, NPCs and Much More!, www.pirate101central.com/wiki/Pirate101_Wiki.

“What Life Was Really Like As A Medieval Jester.” YouTube, YouTube, 3 Apr. 2020, www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7F5ioUQLJc&ab_channel=WeirdHistory.

“What Was Life like for a Court Jester?” HistoryExtra, 26 Nov. 2020, www.historyextra.com/period/medieval/what-was-life-like-for-a-court-jester/.

www.delpiano.com, Roberto Delpiano -. “PANTALONE.” Pantalone | Pantalon De' Bisognosi | Grevembroch Watercolor | Traditional Mask of Venice Carnival, www.delpiano.com/carnival/html/pantalone.html.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

My Gruesome Thoughts

(a collection of more violent stories I’ve written based on intrusive thoughts I’ve had)

Series Summary: I've been having more and more violent intrusive thoughts so I thought that, while I'm researching these things to sate my inner Remus and it helps to talk about it, I'd write some of the thoughts out into stories as ficlets.

Pairings: Romantic Dukeceit (Janus x Remus)

Word Count: 676 Words

Summary: Remus has an intrusive thought that won't go away, Janus doesn't mind Remus trying it out on him. They're sides after all, they can't get too hurt, right?

Warnings: Dismemberment, Amputation, Violent Thoughts, Blood, Injury, Swearing, Gore, Body Horror, Dislocation, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Chapter 1: Dismemberment- Janus and Remus' Experiment

Janus rolled his eyes when Remus said it. He, of course, let the idiot sate himself with the intrusive thought that would nag the poor bastard. At least if Remus did it on him, there'd be no harm done and Janus didn't quite see a downside since he had five other arms if something went wrong. He'd just be in pain for a bit if Remus' healing didn't work.

Remus went to work on Janus' left lowest arm, numbing him up in the area it'd be temporarily disconnected, his elbow, and Janus couldn't help but find the pins and needles feeling funny.

Once he was numb, Remus giggled gleefully as he made a small cut in his elbow to test his numbness as Janus glanced at him, warning him of the blood possibly getting on his paperwork and to make sure he didn't get blood on the floor or his papers.

Remus huffed but snapped up a clear plastic spray shield around his numbed arm and a plastic tarp on the floor with towels nearby. He could still move his fingers. Odd.

He watched in fascination now as Remus watched his fingers move and he held them and kissed them. Janus smirked a bit and certainly didn't giggle himself at both the situation nor the Duke's mustache hair tickling his knuckles.

Remus then cut deeper into his elbow with that blade of his, digging against something and Janus grimaced just a little.

"More numb?" Remus asked.

"A little, that's a bone, Remus." Remus then injected more of that local anesthetic into his arm, higher up now and on the other side of his elbow.

Once those places went numb, Remus was right back at it, taking a moment to let Janus take a deep breath before he wrenched his lower arm from the upper. Janus was now watching with morbid fascination as he saw, but didn't feel, his bones be dislocated.

Remus then cut thought the rest of the muscle and skin until the arm was off. Huh. Weird. he could still feel it there, in two different ways. He could feel Remus holding his arm, but he could feel the missing limb in the space it once had been.

Maybe because he was a side, maybe because of some weird thing of Remus keeping his arm alive while he detached it, but he flexed the fingers and Remus yelped at it, dropping said arm on the floor.

"Hey! Don't drop that! That's my arm, you idiot!" Janus snapped.

"Oh hush, you startled me moving it!" Remus shoved his tongue out at him, picking it back up and holding his hand to his face, cupping the cheek. Janus smiled feeling the mustache hairs tickling his wrist and the warm feeling in his palm.

"You feel that?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, you're stupid mustache is tickling my wrist." Janus couldn't help but laugh when Remus began kissing his hand and wrist, the tickling hairs on the rat's upper lip were a torment but he loved Remus' mustache as did Remus.

Remus kissed his palm once more before putting the arm back and stitching it into place hands going over the wound and healing him right back, bone and all back in place, though with small stitches Remus began snipping and taking out for him while he giggled happily with entertainment.

"You should make Virgil into Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas, he'd love it." Janus offered.

"He'd never let me." Remus pouted, peppering his healing kisses on Janus' tiny stitch wounds and snapping away the setup and tarp he'd made earlier as well as clean himself off with the towels that were then snapped away.

"You clearly don't know his devotion to Sally." Janus joked, turning back to his paperwork and continuing while Remus continued to pepper kisses at his neck to bring him to bed.

It eventually worked and Janus fell asleep with all six arms tucked up between him and Remus, Remus taking extra care of his bottom left by holding it close out of harm's way.

[earmuffstar]

glazed eyes, empty hearts

ao3 link!! Summary: Remus lay on the carpet in the Commons, drinking something inedible and trying to figure out if he could saw off his hand. OR: Remus has ways of keeping himself from full lucidity. Janus has some things to say about it. Genre: canonverse angst Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders (platonic dukeceit/demus/intruceit) Words: 1589 Additional Tags/Warnings: Self-Harm, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Mentions of Dismemberment, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Swearing

Remus lay on the carpet in the Commons, drinking something inedible and trying to figure out if he could saw off his hand.

He’d have to clamp his right arm down—since his left arm was stronger—and on a table, probably, for the best angle. He’d use an electric saw, to keep himself from stopping halfway through from the pain. Maybe he’d even get away with it, too: right here on the living room table in the middle of Family Game Night, or whatever the Lights were doing, he wasn't paying attention. The others normally didn’t question what Remus did, whether a product of not wanting to look too closely or because they just didn’t care, he didn’t know. It came in handy at times like this—ha, handy, he should tell that to Pappy Patouille.

“Handy!” Remus screeched. The conversation stuttered like tripping over a stone, tumbling to the pavement, skittering off a cliff and ending up squished in half by a train on criss-crossed railway tracks before resuming its pace as normal.

Remus went back to pondering his drink, now half-empty. He kind of hoped it was alcohol, although even the more potent stuff didn’t do much for him anymore. Maybe bleach, then. He took a gulp. Snapped his fingers and malathion filled the rest of the concoction to the top. Downed the glass. It didn’t taste half bad—he almost wished it tasted worse—but it made his head spin and his thoughts appropriately fuzzy, which was all he needed.

Remus stood up, bracing himself against the armrest as the room wavered, legs quivering inappropriately under his weight. The room continued their conversation—he couldn’t make out the words, not like he wanted to, he was sure it was about Disney or some other unimportant shit—as he sunk out.

The corner of Thomas’ mind which embodied Dark Creativity, forbidden thoughts, the macabre, badness, demented reason, remained perpetually in disrepair. Remus tripped over shards of glass—broken Bud Light’s?—needles, plastic orange bottles, and crashed to his knees somewhere wet, cheek brushing against bones and plywood as his eyelids drooped shut.

~~~

Remus shifted as he came to: alive, in his room, with a mind far too alert and lucid. Had he messed up with whatever he’d drunk last night—accidentally used orange juice or some shit instead of malathion? Remus growled in frustration. The easiest methods of forced mental incoherence—starvation, lack of sleep, the like—always took the longest time to take effect. If he’d paid attention last night, he would have been able to perpetuate the misery longer without this unfortunate break. He’d have to resort to more drastic measures for instant relief.

At least the blackout was nice. He normally didn’t get such an easy reprieve. When nightmares didn’t torment his sleep, the knowledge of coherence and well-restedness it offered did.

Dark Imagination always exhaled cold, stinking of rot and filth, miasma and decay. His thoughts always amplified in his domain, spinning and twisting in a way that felt good—or rather, felt terrible, which was good. Remus sank his foot into the muck, his realm unnaturally still. His creations normally drew into hiding when he came here like this—they didn’t like to see him do this. Welp. Too bad for them.

Here was a total blank slate. He could do anything. Remus’ claws itched.

It sucked how much it hurt, was the thing. The pain was delicious, and he soaked it up, reveled in it like cloth soaking blood, he needed it—but it still hurt, at the very beginning, the moment when knife hit flesh. The physical pain always hurt like hell, but the greater the pain at the beginning the longer it would keep hurting, and if at least some part of him was hurting he didn’t have to hurt a different part again to balance out the hurt in his brain.

Remus heard the footsteps only after rivulets of blood ran down his fingers.

“Remus?” The voice came soft, low, with a hint of a hiss curling the edge of their words. Remus’ blood ran cold, drip, drip, dripping onto the ground, and he grinned a false smile as he turned around—pointless, Janus always saw through him, Janus was the one person who wouldn’t brush off his antics as his simply unfortunate nature.

“Hey, welcome, Janny-Jan! Just messing around, you know me.” Remus was still far too coherent for this, brain just as awake as it had been when he’d woken up feeling nothing unnatural in his system despite the pain. Remus summoned a bottle of arsenic, aiming to chug it, when his fingers grasped empty air. Janus held the bottle away from him with one of his extra hands.

“Give it back, Jan.”

“Remus, this isn’t healthy.”

Remus cackled. The notion of “healthy” deserved that much. “Does it look like I care? Give it back.”

Janus sighed, looking resigned, and Remus knew what was going to happen before it did. That didn’t mean he didn’t struggle as six arms wrapped around him, yanking him from his domain into Janus’ room. Janus deposited him on a bed, holding him down by his arms and ignoring Remus’ pleas with practiced care.

Gloved hands met his own, stopping him every time he tried to scratch his arms, eyes, limbs. Already Remus could feel the effects of Janus’ room sink into his body, denials becoming truths as they healed his wounds, and Remus detested the comfort even as he gave in to it. Janus sat down next to him as the fight bled out of him, its absence hurting somehow more than blood and guts spilling from his wounds.

“Why do you keep doing this?” Janus said quietly, no more to Remus than to the air, but he shrugged anyway. He’d tried for far too long to rationalize his actions, formulate some sort of reasoning, some story, some grand reason why. Eventually he stopped trying, because no amount of reasoning ever stopped him. He would either do something or he wouldn’t, and that was how it worked—whatever thought that had led him to that action could have been fleeting, could have been in response to the opposite inclination, could have been anything. He’d long since given up on trying to understand his mind.

Janus should stop worrying. It wasn’t like anything would kill him, anyway.

“Well!” Remus struggled to sit up. “This has been fun, but—”

“Remus, you can’t—”

“I’m perfectly fine now, so—”

“You’re not —”

“I can’t say it’s been lovely but I should be going, got places to be—”

Janus looked about to explode, or cry, and personally Remus thought the former would be much cooler, wondered how flesh would become explosive, charred, twisted, dead. “We have to talk about this, Remus! I can’t— I can’t let you continue like this.”

Something furious and burning licked through his spine. Remus went still—still like the night, still like corpses buried six feet under the winter chill, still like death. Janus’ expression quickly smoothed over, but Remus was pleased to read fear in the pinch of his brow. “What I do,” Remus hissed, “is not up to you. I am not your charity project, and I understand perfectly well what I’m doing. You don’t get to take this away from me.”

“Remus, you—” Janus’ breath hitched. Remus didn’t— couldn’t turn to look at his face. “You can’t possibly think this is a long-term solution to your problems! ‘Oh yes, continually hurting myself will make my life better, it won’t have any lasting effects on anyone at all—’”

“I don’t want to think !” Remus screamed. He would have glared at the yellow-clad side had exhaustion not burrowed into his bones. Or maybe that was just the blood loss, or the aftereffects of the alcohol. “I don’t want to feel better, I don’t want to feel normal, or healthy, I just want to— to be numb, to be—”

He’d grown too used to incoherence to be able to deal with reality without it. The fact that the poisons gave him an excuse for being a fuck up, and that he’d have no shield, no scapegoat, no backup if he was still a fuck-up while being fully coherent. He didn’t particularly want to stop, not anymore, not for all the effort it’d take with too little payoff—but Remus knew better than to talk about his self-destructive tendencies to Self-Preservation.

Remus turned his back on Janus, though he felt his gaze tracing his spine. He wondered how long Janus was going to sit here with him—Janus knew better than to leave Remus unattended in his room.

Janus stood up abruptly, drawing Remus’ eye. He grabbed Remus by the arm again, and, to Remus' surprise, he felt the vertigo-like falling sensation of sinking back into his own room. Janus released his grip, opened his mouth, closed it again without speaking, and suddenly Remus found arms around folded him in an embrace. “We will be talking about this again,” Janus murmured, before both him and his touch disappeared as quick as it had come. Silence resounded in his wake, and Remus realized he’d been given what he’d asked for—his freedom.

Remus summoned another bottle of arsenic and drained it, relishing the way it instantly weakened his limbs, confused his thoughts. He sunk back onto his bed of corpses and plywood, gaze falling limp over his realm, wind rustling over eyes that saw no sights and ears that heard no sound.

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

March Ado About Nothing

Series Summary - A series of one-shots and  drabbles written based off of prompts posted in the TSS Fanworks Collective server. The goal is to take traditional whump prompts and fill them in the least-angsty way possible every day through March.

A note that though some of these fills are written bait and switch style (written in a way you think is going in one direction but reveals it to be the opposite towards the end) they are all written in a fluffy or silly style with very little, if any at all, actual angst.

Day 14: Keep Them Safe

Summary: Virgil has three amazing kids he swears to keep safe. Remus often tests his limits.

Prompts: "Pick Who DIes”, *Manhandled*, Defiance

Ships: Familial Dad Virgil with kids Patton, Roman and Remus

Warnings: brief panic, food mention. Let me know if there are more!

General taglist (ask to be added or removed): @janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi  @im-an-anxious-wreck  @logans-library (If you have asked to be tagged, please reblog)

WC: 1197

As a parent, Virgil had sworn to never let any harm come to any child that may come into his care. He figured having anxiety would help with this since it usually kept him almost annoyingly vigilant towards any threat, potential or not, that may be in the surrounding area at any given time. He considered himself to be rather good at it, especially after raising Patton for a number of years and having nothing traumatic or even bad happen to him at that time. He still had all his limbs, no scarring- mental or physical- and he was generally just a happy go lucky kid as it was and Virgil found he barely had to raise him at, mostly just be there for support and thank whatever gods were around every day that the kid never did anything punishment worthy because Virgil honestly doubted he’d ever have the strength to so much as put him in the corner.

The most Patton had ever done, as far as Virgil was aware and he was inclined to believe, was to steal a second cookie after dinner. The most he had gotten was Virgil asking him if he knew he could just ask and there would be no judgement cast for waiting extra of anything; that the only time he would be denied is if the request for food or otherwise was truly unreasonable or it would be dinner soon and he’d be given a light healthy option instead to tide him over. Since then the ritual had been two cookies after dinner if that was what desert was and honestly they were both very happy with the new development. By any parental standards, Patton was a good child- kind and sweet and Virgil was proud of him for how hard he studied even if he did have to pry him away sometimes to get him to take a break.

But Virgil had three sons, and he loved the other two with all his heart and was just as proud of them as he was of Patton. That being said- they were not as easy to raise as him.

Roman and Remus were twins and that was exactly where their similarities stopped. Roman was a reasonably quiet child, content with creating his own worlds and being immersed with them until he wanted attention- and you always knew when he wanted attention. He liked dressing up and singing in the halls and decorating cookies with him and Patton. He got along well with the older sibling and played nice even if he didn’t always understand all of Patton’s quirks and hang ups. He was decently behaved and Virgil loved him very much. He loved him as much as he loved Patton and as much as he loved Remus. What he didn’t always love was how scrappy Remus could be.

Well behaved in his own right Remus just did things- oddly. Normal everyday tasks were done but just slightly to the left. Who was Virgil to complain if he still got dishes done but stacked them in increasingly creative ways that would make his heart take a rain check if all their dishware wasn’t plastic? And as long as he hosed off before stepping in the house why would he deny him the joy of burying himself in mud like sand at the beach? And why on earth would Virgil ever yell at him for making a Rube Goldberg machine to feed the fish even if it did make fart noises every time the ball fell to set off another reaction? He was loud and eccentric and springy in the way he did things, but none of that was punishable. He sometimes made Patton nervous with the ideas he spewed thoughtlessly from his mouth with nary a filter to be had but after Virgil talked to him about it he took to coming to him instead and that was just fine.

Virgil considered himself to be a decent parent overall, with wonderful kids that he kept as safe and happy as he could. He had sworn no harm would come to any child to ever find themselves in his care- which was why, as he came out of his reminiscing and chanced a look up at the jungle gym where he knew they liked to play, he very nearly passed out from the adrenaline rush that shoved him off the bench and towards the mess of bars so quickly he would swear he teleported.

“Remus Antony Adrews get your feet on the ground right now!”

Remus for his part, had the presence of mind to look at least a little bit sheepish, balanced only on the balls of his feet while crouched on the highest section of the jungle gym with his hands dangling in front of him. Grinning he waved and shifted just a bit, making Virgil’s poor chest constrict with fright. “I’m fine Dad! Look!”

And then he stood up.

Now, Virgil was no child, at six foot two his head was level with the third quarter of the playset. So it was nothing for him to step up two feet with the bottom rung, catch Remus’ waist with one arm and swing him around to land solidly on his shoulder and step down to safety in one fluid motion. The eight year old’s protests were ignored as he was manhandled to his good shoulder, carrying him all the way over to the bench where he was promptly sat on his lap and secured in his arms. 

“Daaa-aaad!”

“Absolutely not. You are a wild child that must be contained and I will keep you here in a hug where I know you aren’t on the ground with your head cracked open until I stop panicking.”

Remus was silent for a minute, watching Patton and Roman climb around oblivious to what had just happened, too caught up in whatever game they were playing to notice Remus kicking his feet in irritation a few feet away.

“Like an egg?”

“What?”

“Cracked open just like an egg?” Remus clarified.

Scrunching his face at the image provided Virgil only hugged him tighter before sighing into his curly hair. “Yes, Remus. Like an egg. So please don’t do that again okay?”

Remus nodded sagely. “I’ll bury myself in the chips next  time.”

“What no, why would you bury yourself in the chips?”

“I was gonna leap down on them from on top but I’ll just trap their legs!” Carefully smoothing his horrified expression Virgil set his son down in front of him.

“No heights and no chips. How bout you hide behind the turtle instead?” Virgil pointed to the giant plastic turtle tunnel a little ways away from them. “They might expect you to be underneath them because that’s what you did last week- and don’t use that as an excuse to get up high. Running from somewhere not very hidden will throw them off since they expect you to hide well.”

“Oh! Okay!” And with that he was off, leaving Virgil exhausted and wary. He would always swear to keep his kids safe, but Remus could really test the limits of parental instincts.

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[jadienjaystoriesandart]

Freak Show AU - Sander Sides

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVwqkBG0ulE

So this is an idea I’ve had for a while.

WELCOME TO IMAGINARIUM 

A freak show circus only open from the late hours of the night to the early morning hours. We are a hardcore, bloody, and gory circus who caters to the freaks, kooks, weirods, emos, and gothics alike 

Your every wish is our command, your every whimsical desire brought to life. But be careful, there is always a price!

Thomas Sanders:

The ring master, a Frankenstein like monster, made of many body parts, one eye is brown the other is orange with no pupil. He wears a top hat and had a large screw in his head that he twists until he clicks it back into place, he says it helps him ‘think clearly’. He takes care of his lovely freaks and allows any like them to join. He is very much ‘Dad’ to them. 

Patton Phibian: A frog like creature, his hands are like a frogs and he only ahd three fingers, and greenish brown scales that are slimy and got down his arms and are on his legs. Which are also frog like. He has large eyes that he can actively bulge out of his head. And a frog like tongue. He runs the ‘Nightcare’ service, so that the kiddies don’t have to deal with the horrors of this circus and the adults can enjoy themselves. He normally does tightrope and high up things due to his power to stick to any service. 

Virgil Silk: A spider like being, he has extra limbs on his back that are spider like, and has four eyes and two more on his back and one of his chest.and one on the back of his head. His mandibles are retractable and reside on the starts of his jaw line. He can also open his mouth from cheek to cheek. One of his eyes are green the other is purple. He produces silk with his hands. And is the Fortune Teller and enjoys scaring adults. 

Roman Price: A tentacle like dragon monster, had has red silky tentacles along with dragon wings and horns. He says tentacles tend to run in his family, big or small, and he only has four of them. He can retract them, unlike his brother. He typically does trapeze and such with Patton. He sometimes helps take care of the kids with Patton when Logan isn’t there. He has claw like hands and sharp teeth and dragon slit like red eyes and a long tail that has black and red and gold scales.

Remus Price: A tentacle monster like kraken or mind flayer. He has more than his brother, with eight of them and they are a slimy acid green and teal color. With suctions that has small teeth for injecting a venom into people. Don’t worry, he doesn’t use them much. His act includes knife swallowing and knife throwing. Oh and he can cut off his own limbs and regrow them... many swear he’s a cannibal. All sharp teeth and his eyes are huge on his face and coin slit eyes. 

Logan Tics: An Automation like robot who helps Patton take care of the kids. He is a steampunk looking eye, who isn’t human. He can take himself apart and put himself back together in odd and bizarre ways. He can’t feel pain, and has trouble with feelings. Yet he looks scarily human, save for some of the gears and steam that shows. He tends to deviate from his ‘programming’ and starts to ramble about how he’s trapped, just ignore him. he entertains the kids with facts and science experiments. 

Janus Scrags: A naga like being, with the top half being human though his right side is covered in yellow and brown scales. His right eye is gold with a slit while his other eye is a honey brown. His tail is over ten feet long and ends in a rattle that he buzzes to scare people. He puts on puppet shows, does hypnosis, and ventriloquism. He has large viper fangs that he hides, but does flash them if asked. He also helps with the kids from time to time, but likes to keep to himself only ever speaking to Thomas and some of the main acts. 

PLOT

Well it’s not easy to explain, the plot is still working. But I do know that the circus is the way it is due to Thomas having made a deal with a dark beings. He’d get fortune and power, if he gave it souls. Thomas did, and now is a creature like demon also. All in the circus are his to do with what he likes. Oh he’s a nice guy, but he does enjoy on preying on the weak and helpless souls who had no one else to turn to. Everything has a price, and that it does.

For those who enter his circus, the acts tend to have their favorites that they like the kidnap and terrorize until they either gain a new helper or a meal. And often times the only way to escape this fate is to make a deal and give Thomas your soul. It can range from minor things you must give him, other times.. well Logan asked once to have his feelings removed and Thomas turned him into a Robotic act who must obey him.

Not everyone was forced, Janus and Virgil joined willingly to get away from abusive situations. Patton was kind of forced and such. The twins, well Remus wasn’t but Roman was by his brother as Remus refused to leave him behind. 

Best hope the acts don’t take too much of a liking to you, or you might find yourself trapped in the circus with no way out, your choices. Die, join them and loose your free will, or make a deal and hope that the price isn’t too high. 

So I got this idea by listening to Creature Feature: The Greatest Show Unearthed and reading through @fangirltothefullest many many AU’s. So credit is due in she gave me some inspiration.  OH, and @5am-the-foxing-hour and their headcannons.  Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVwqkBG0ulE What do you all think?

@my-short-gay-ass-cant-deal

[creativia10]

A siren of a black skirt (v2)

Janus was looking at himself in the mirror since he was ready for the skirt photoshoot early. Remus happens to see Janus before he goes, and let's just say Remus is enthusiastic about the look.

Pairing: Janus x Remus

Word count: 1219

Warnings: Sexual themes, minor Dom/Sub related kink mentions,

Notes: I am going to be posting two versions of this, this has a spicier continuation. I hope I tag this right. I am putting this as M on my ao3 as well.

(Birthday) Janus stood in front of a mirror in his new getup, having gotten ready early, and wanting to get a look at himself before Thomas’ photoshoot for the social medias. He puckered his lips, and turned this way and that, trying to decide how he felt. It was definitely different. A bit odd. He had a say in what he got to wear the entire time of course. Roman had been surprisingly very accommodating, then again he usually got excited over creative projects. Plus, the input of Quil and Lee helped as well.

Janus posed in different ways, to see if any looked different at all, uncaring how it would seem posing for himself in a mirror by himself. This was a different look than his usual one…but he totally rocked it.

He smirked to himself, and dramatically tossed his skirt about. It was so…freeing. And he felt shamelessly drop dead gorgeous. He put a finger to his chin in thought. It would be nice if he could get Thomas to dress like this more. It would certainly be nice to dress much nicer in general. But, he suspected the much more reserved sides would probably not be up for it. He sighed. At least he could enjoy this though. He turned around and practiced walking in the shoes. He heard a gasp and turned to see Remus just staring at him. Janus smirked.

“Oh hello, Remus.”

Remus didn’t speak for a moment, which was very odd for him. Janus frowned a little.

“Remus?”

Remus shook his head and slowly walked over to Janus. Also strange for him. Janus felt odd. He was usually pretty good at reading the other. It was not often the other caught him by surprise. He resisted the urge to back up at all. He never liked to give Remus the higher ground. Janus tried to give him an expectant look.

“What?” He asked.

Remus stopped in front of him. He slowly looked him up and down. Somehow, that made Janus’ face heat up some.

This was ridiculous. This wasn’t even the worst in behavior he had seen from Remus before, yet this is what gets him flustered? Unacceptable.

Finally, after an unsettling moment of silence, Remus finally says,

“Is it my birthday?”

Janus raised an eyebrow at that. “Um…no? You know when your birthday is-“

Then Remus suddenly grasped the sides of Janus’ skirt and pulled him forward until he was flush against Remus.

“Oh really? Cause this is a great present for me.”

Janus breath stuttered. There were many indignant things Janus could say, yet none of them made it out of his mouth. Somehow, Remus’ attention like this was getting to him.

Remus smirked. He leaned forward and said into Janus’ ear,

“May I wreck you like this?”

Janus inhaled breathily. Remus started to walk Janus backwards, towards the wall.

“Remus I-I still have to do the photoshoot.”

Remus drew his hand against the skirt, gathering a bunch of it into his hands, and gripping it tightly as he slammed Janus against the wall, making Janus gasp again.

“Let Thomas do it,” Remus muttered.

(tbc)

(continuation)

Janus was about to protest when Remus hands moved around to Janus’ butt and squeezed, making Janus jolt and squeak. Janus bit his lip,

“That does not leave here.”

He heard Remus laugh a little, which was not a promise.

Remus attempted to but Janus’ hat off while still gripping Janus, which did not work and resulted in getting a snort out of Janus. Remus huffed and just threw the hat off the normal way.

“Hey-“

Remus sighed, and then went to fondling Janus butt more enthusiastically,

“Gosh I love this butt. I didn’t want to relinquish my touch on it.”

Janus huffed, “Remus…” but he shivered as Remus increased his pace. Then he dove forward, enthusiastically plunging his tongue into Janus mouth, and swallowing the sound Janus made. Janus started to lean back into the wall more. Remus started to get more aggressive with the kiss, biting him more, getting some hisses out of Janus like he liked. They both pushed forward more as though trying to get as much heat of each other as possible. Remus was playing with the skirt as he moved his hands, gripping his butt, feeling around him, then back. Given the extra limbs Janus began to feel all around his skirt prodding, touching, lifting the skirt up, feeling him over and under the skirt, Janus figured Remus’ tentacles had come out to play. Which just increased the sensations of Remus touching him everywhere.

Janus felt like Remus was practically trying to eat him, which in that moment felt divine. Remus groaned and pulled away from Remus’ mouth, but seemed unable to pull his mouth away completely as he started to drag his teeth against his face. Janus bit his lips as he let out a muffled sound at that sensation.

“Can you step on my feet with your heels?” Remus breathed against his skin. Janus laughed a bit at that between his heavy breathing.

“Wha-at?”

“You heard me.” He growled out. He teethed at the ridges of a scale before he easily pulled it out. “You are giving me serious femme dominatrix vibes here, darling. I wanna feel the extent of your sexiness.”

Janus snorted.

“Really? Femme, I thought we were trying to dismantle gender expectations.”

Remus shrugged. “I made my point though.”

Janus hmmed as Remus started mouthing at his neck.

“Considering you are practically eating me alive here, I don’t know if we are creating the right mood for that.”

“Hey, who said we had to have traditional kink norms?”

Janus laughed again, and then started to push him away.

“That does remind me, that we don’t have time for this.”

Remus pouted at him. Janus looked at him with mock sympathy.

“How about this, the moment the photoshoot is done, I’ll give you free reign, and we can talk about any unusual fun stuff we can do. Sound good?”

Remus’ face lit up and he nodded. Janus rolled his eyes with a smile. Then he clicked around to get his hat back on.

“Now, I will have to find your brother to help fix my mussed up appearance before the shoot. I hope you haven’t gotten us into trouble with Lee dear.”

Remus made a face at that.

“Oh come on, you’re drop dead sexy like that.”

Janus smirked at him.

“That may be, but I don’t think that is the look we are going for here.”

Janus walked up to him and patted his cheek.

“Take care,” and started to walk away. He heard Remus say from behind him,

“Don’t I get one for the road?”

Janus sighed, and looked over his shoulder at him.

“As if I can really expect you to keep it at that. You are going to have to wait.” He shook his and started walking again when he suddenly felt Remus right up against him from behind. Remus leaned into his ear,

“Look forward to it~” and then licked Janus’ ear.

“Remus!” Janus pushed him off and sank out, not trusting the other to stop his teasing if he kept walking normally. Janus rolled his eyes as he heard Remus’ distant laugh. Well, at least later would be fun.