#i love nathaniel very much

[ruvviks]

Nathan Dixon is lead STEM developer of the Union environment and Team Bravo special ops agent of MOBIUS. He is one of the youngest recruits of the shadow organization, having been forced to join them after he killed his parents at age 16; and now, nine years later, he is looking for a way to destroy MOBIUS once and for all– if that is even possible.

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;

@jacobseed, @swordcoasts

[antihibikase-archive]

"My name? It's Cheren Slater! I'll be your mentor from now on, okay?"

[blue-eli]

@khoc-week I am late I am very late-

Day one: Introductions!

Nathaniel Ezra Wyatt: a scholar, magic user, and very concerned adult. His home world (Hyrule, yes he is technically an LoZ oc as well shhh) fell only a year or so after Radiant Garden’s fall, when he was around 37, and he found himself in Traverse Town. He ended up bonding with the group from RG who were living there (Cid, Leon, Aerith, Cloud, and Yuffie) and found himself part of their little patchwork family. He is, despite looking like an pretentious old librarian, quite outgoing, and loves hearing peoples stories. He is also quite parental by nature, and keeps on finding himself adopting any stray child soldier he comes across (why are there so many-), and co-parenting the RG kids with Cid. After Maleficent was defeated in kh1 he made the decision to go with to Hollow Bastion with the gang instead of staying in Traverse Town or hoping to find himself back in Hyrule. He’s settled into Radiant Garden quite permanently now, and spends most of his time helping his family rebuild it. :)

[antisisyphus]

ive seen some cute reels/tiktoks of men being like "hey bitch where is my dinner" and then another guy will duet the original video and talk about how much he loves his wife and wouldnt call her bitch and how misogynistic that is! so cute! love that! love and respect your partner! i call my boyfriend a perverted faggot <3

[windupaidoneus]

ok ive finished the dlc so now i can properly say my least favourite thing about dragon age awakening is that the women feel like an afterthought & don't fit in the group at all. & i want to care about them & their banter so much. but i really don't because the game is giving me fucking nothing

[dragon-swords-prophecies]

hello!!! i am sorry you've had a hard time of it but welcome back!!! i am queer and i write fantasy with queer characters and i am also decently active/friendly, so hi! i'm copper and i write fantasy stuff! these days its mostly steampunk, in the past it was more of a high fantasy situation and who knows it might be again someday.

my main wip is called herald at dawn, its a steampunk fantasy murder mystery set in a made up city called volimere. I made a new intro for it literally yesterday, its got most of the details if you want to read it (link), but here's the basic stuff (plus extra, i like talking about it) (cut here for the sake of people's dashes):

there are so, so many queer characters. there are also a large amount of murders, but its a murder mystery so that's to be expected. I'm just going to copy & paste the synopsis from the wip intro, because I think that explains it decently well:

11 years ago a woman named Marisol Ekker was murdered by the wife of her son’s father, Evelyn Belmont. Despite all evidence, Evelyn Belmont was acquitted and faced no punishment. Nearly a decade later, investigative reporter Alexandrina McLelland approached Marisol Ekker’s son, Nathaniel Ekker–who was 12 at the time of her death–, to write an article about the corruption in the case. It is published in The Clockwork Herald, the newspaper where Alexandrina works, and exposes the dirty laundry of one of the city’s wealthiest families, the Belmonts. Soon after a string of murders begins. At first suspicions point to someone entirely unconnected with the Ekker trial or Alexandrina’s article, but as the pressure mounts (and the danger gets much closer to home), it becomes clear that the article and the deaths are far more connected than anyone initially thought.

so yeah! the loose gist of the plot is that there was a murder trial 11 years ago, in which a woman named Evelyn Belmont was accused and then acquitted of murdering another woman named Marisol Ekker, who had previously worked for Evelyn Belmont & her husband.

The important context here is that belmonts = Very Rich (like absurdly rich. geoffery belomont (evelyn's husband) spent thousands of dollars on bribing a judge). marisol ekker = Not Rich At All. she had a kid, as the result of an affair with mr belmont. evelyn belmont objected to this, and once she found out who the affair was with went and killed the poor woman. very violently, and very obviously.

everybody, and i mean everybody knew it was evelyn belmont who did the killing. however, the rich and powerful will be the rich and powerful, and her husband bribed the judge, and she got off the murder charge no worse for the wear.

the other important context here is that marisol ekker's son did not die, and he is alive, and his name is nathaniel. it has now been 11 years and he is mostly an adult. he agreed to do an article with an investigative reporter of some renown, alexandrina mclelland, so that the corruption in the case can get exposed and the belmonts' reputation can get trashed

(alexandrina is bent on exposing injustices and corruption. she has spent her entire career (10+ years) doing exactly that, and her boss/friends are very supportive of that)

this is where her boss/friends come in, actually! there are three very relevant ones, and several other less relevant at this moment ones.

JAMES BLAKELY (he/him), alexandrina's boss/coworker (the editor of the clockwork herald for the last 10 years, has worked there for the last ~15) & good friend. 32, worries too much, and cares about loyalty. leo's partner.

LEÓN RIVERA (he/him), alexandrina's coworker (does politics, ex-court reporter, covered the ekker trial 11 years ago) & good friend. 33, has a really terrible time in chapter 10, and a burning hatred for certain members of the government. james' partner & nathaniel's mentor (mostly).

ARTHUR HALL (he/him), alexandrina's rival (reporter at another paper) & sometimes friend. 30, loves his wife a whole lot, and is determined to have a better work-life boundary than anyone else he knows (this is not a particularly difficult task on the surface, but the problem is when you make politicians mad they will then try to make you have a horrible day)

oh, and since I should probably introduce alexandrina properly:

ALEXANDRINA MCLELLAND (she/her), investigative reporter (covers lots of things, but focuses on bringing justice to people and exposing corruption). 31, has issues with her father, and a strong sense of justice & a weak sense of self preservation. the only thing keeping her alive is luck and the fact that it looks really suspicious if the person who wrote an article exposing your crimes turns up dead a day after the article is published.

there are a lot of other things, but i've just realized how long this is and i know you said to be self indulgent but i don't want to make this four million words (also it is very late and i must go to bed), so the rest of the story goes:

article is published -> city goes fucking wild, the belmonts panic, nathaniel has a terrible day but not as bad as leo's in chapter 10 -> judge robert brown (asshole) is pushed out off a balcony by an unknown party and in the chaos everyone forgets about the article -> drama, suspicions, etc -> a second person, grayson atkinson (court stenographer) is pushed out of a window and dies -> further panic and suspicions, accusations are thrown around -> chapter 10 (leo gets pushed down a flight of stairs and very nearly dies). -> realizations! accusations! discoveries! etc! -> The ✨ Reveal ✨ -> trial of the murderer, wrapup, nathaniel gets a little bit of closure and leo is happily not dead.

it's fun! i like it a lot. ships wise, there's not many but there is leo & james (who have been together for a while); these two side characters who are amazing and i love them (nathaniel's aunts; airship captain blake sparks and her wife, gwendolyn sparks. they're the best); and the thing involving alexandrina's father (donovan), his best friend (ronald wilks), and donovan's wife/alexandrina's mother (mary gates), but uh the thing with that is donovan's dead

the only other important thing is that the murderer learned how to murder from radio dramas, and thinks she's soooooooo smart (she isn't, she's a fucking idiot). however, crucial to the learning to murder from radio dramas:

she has a murdering outfit. an outfit she uses specifically to murder people, and nothing else. (she thinks this is crucial to being able to murder people. well no, she thinks to murder people you have to be wearing a black trenchcoat otherwise it won't work and you'll get caught, and she thinks the trenchcoat is too ugly on its own so she must have ✨ accessories ✨ )

said accessories are: black dress that goes underneath the trenchcoat, black gloves, black boots (though that doesn't make her special since literally everyone is wearing black boots), and a dramatic sweeping black hat with a matching (black) feather plume.

me and my friend came up with it in a discord chat and I think it's the best thing ever

writers, listen up...

i've fallen out of touch with the writeblr community a lot in the past few years, and i want to rectify that. the community aspect was what made me fall in love with tumblr, and what improved my writing for the better.

the golden days of my writing were when i was highly active and engaged in this wonderful community, but life and work and the horrors of self publishing have overtaken my energy in the past year. however, i have been really struggling with original writing, and i want to get back into the community here.

that said...

you write fantasy with queer characters

are an indie author

post frequently about your wips (taglists are a bonus!)

are queer

are a very active and friendly writer

if any of these apply

please, please reblog and tell me about your wip. gush over it. infodump. characters and ships and worldbuilding and plot, i want it all! this is your invitation to be as selfishly indulgent as possible. let's make some new friends and restore some community!!

boosts appreciated!

[wisteriarain]

Bi disaster demon go brrr

Also used this for the pose: https://pin.it/y2FqGzhAq

[maegalkarven]

Probably unpopular opinion, but The Ranger Achieves series is better than The Echoes saga.

Idc about all these elves and mages and young greycoats falling in love with elves, and the plot, and evil elf rising, and the other evil elf serving the Main Evil elf scheming in the Nightfall-

I just care about Asher and whatever fuckery is going on with him at the moment.

[dcvina-claires]

even though renee isn’t in the books as much as some of the others, i’d argue that she’s on the same level as andrew and kevin in terms of importance, not necessarily because of her impact on the main plot but more because she symbolizes something these characters desperately need: hope. first of all, it has become increasingly obvious to me that she’s a narrative foil to neil. not only do they leave their sketchy pasts behind, change their names, and dye their hair, but their birth names (natalie, nathaniel) are incredibly similar. renee represents who neil would be if he actually processed his issues instead of running away from them (“i’m not proud of my past, but i’ll never heal if i hide it”). neil is so unsettled by renee because she’s the person who neil has been told for his entire life that it’s too dangerous to be. he dyes his hair to blend in. she dyes her hair to stand out. and she’s HAPPY. she’s not dead like neil’s been brainwashed to believe. then, of course, there’s her iconic friendship with andrew. i’m not going to say that she’s the only one who andrew likes, because we all know he’s very protective of his cousin, brother, and neil. however, renee is the only one who andrew never lashes out at. if renee hadn’t intervened when andrew was attacking allison, who knows what would’ve happened? finally, there’s her connection to jean. jean was denied color for years, surrounded by black and red, never thinking that he would escape. his first interaction with renee always stands out to me because for the first time, he’s left speechless. he sees renee and her rainbow hair and can do nothing but stare. how could he not fall in love with a girl who goes so directly against the rules of his abusers? and she gets him out of the nest. she’s the reason why he defies all the other drafts and stays alive. throughout the books, she grounds andrew, saves allison, and gives jean a reason to keep living. the events of all for the game and the sunshine court couldn’t have happened without renee. none of it could’ve. she was at the center of it all the whole time

[double-aa-batteries]

things about about TSC I can't stop thinking about

"hindsight was a backstabbing bitch"

curtains symbolizing jeans healing journey, how he keeps them closed at Abby's in a effort to recreate the nest in search of some normalcy, how he opens them and looks out the window his new apartment, seeking calm in his overwhelm

"I want to go home" (13) meaning evermore vs. "I want to go home" (329) meaning to his apartment with Laila, Cat and jeremy

the fact that jean's phone is probably still in Abby's freezer

Kevin "their kindness matters" Day

Neil's smile is as unsettling to everyone else as it is to him and he has so much more Nathaniel in him than he recognizes in his own pov

Jean is so similar to neil in that they're both petty, dramatic bitches who care deeply about their teammates' safety

riko and the ravens quite literally took jean's name from him (Jean-Yves, Jonny, Paris)

"[Renee's] love was so tender it looked like grief as it curled her mouth and made her eyes shine"

jean gets forehead kisses from Renee and Cat

"that creepy little goalkeeper Andrew Minyard"

jean's many nicknames for neil: tiny bastard, tedious malcontent, abominable cockroach, wretched little runaway, ignorant child, etc.

Neil took the bandage off of jeans 3 and promptly stuck it over Kevin's chess peice

"I should have let him kill you," Jean said. "Probably," Neil agreed, "but you didn't, so here we all are."

"...aside from his outstanding murder charge, there was nothing interesting about that fox"

the fact that the point of tfc was to show characters who couldn't/wouldn't/ or were unable to heal from the trauma they had faced and yet from the very beginning and without question, TSC is about jean clawing his way forward and toward healing no matter what

the cheese drawer

dadmack dialed up to 1,000 See: "i will burn this house down before I let them touch you"

bisexual jean Moreau panicking over his teammates in swimsuits and Jeremy's long legs

"He's earned the right to be arrogant"

riko couldn't bring himself to hurt wymack because he was Kevin's father and Kevin was like a brother to riko and riko has always yearned for a father's recognition

Alvarez has a motorcycle and jean didn't say no to learning how to ride it

we know next to nothing about Jeremy Knox despite having chapters in his pov (why was he in therapy? why was his dad in France? what the hell did he do at the Fall banquet his freshman year to tear his family in half?)

that being said: Jeremy Knox is a rich boy with a butler

everything about Catalina Alverez

the fact that Jeremy knox has two brothers and one of them is probably dead

"rather than force the Trojans underground for that part, they simply built steps up and over it inside the stadium" the JUXTAPOSITION

Alvarez cooks and so now does jean

we know for a fact riko subjected Kevin to "subtler cruelties" while he was in the nest

"they never should have said yes when you asked" and "I didn't ask"

"as if you can tell a girl apart from a cow on a good day"

"permission to break his face, coach?" jean asked. "denied," white said.

all of thanksgiving pt. II

"alarm looked wrong on a face born for smiling"

jean casually saying "your apologies are as useful as perfume on a frog" to Lucas

Neil's whole relationship with Jean

David "I believe we all have the choice to be better than the hands that shaped us" Wymack

Neil generally being a menace to society but especially "Neil, being the person he was, pointed at the fire hydrant adjacent to it's front bumper and said, 'thats illegal, just so you know.'"

"the cracking heat in his chest could have been his ribs snapping or his heart breaking"

[sanzaibian]

This is part of the Secret TF Writers Swap, a small "secret santa" event between writers organized by the lovely @alphajocklover.

Thank you very much for organizing it !

================================================

To @fafnir19

You sat at your desk, readying yourself for yet another soul-sucking day of office work.

You may be writing loads of stories on the internet, of people growing in and out of wealth, of demons and creatures, and most of all of transformation, but back in the real world, everything feels so much more static. Yesterday’s problems are today’s problems, and today’s problems are tomorrow’s problems. A never-ending series of crisis after crisis, which somehow always swap roots yet never swap effects. You can at least consider yourself fortunate that your pay is comfortable enough so that you can weather these, even if it means having to look in the eyes of someone who has little, and answer their request for starting something greater in the negative.

But today, there seems to be some agitation in the office. A change in the routine. Something to bring you out of the intensive mundane and the boring busyness.

So you ask the colleague with which you share desk a part in today’s gossip, and what he answers may surprise you :

“Nathaniel Nostitz has come here ! I don’t know why he’s here, but I’m sure everyone wants to bag him !”

Now, as a banker, you do keep an eye on the important fortunes in your area, and the Nostitz family is one of them – if not the most important. You know that their family comes from Silesia, but that there was recently some family drama with his son, or at least that’s what the few articles of showbiz about him that some colleague forced you to read said. You don’t actually care, but you do know that such an important family coming to see a standard local bank is quite… unusual.

But you know to keep your head down and not cause unnecessary problems. You won’t be able to convince him to do anything with you, and he may be tempted to destroy your career if you’re too annoying. Therefore, you go back on working on your computer, some case of investment account or something. Boring, but safe.

That’s why you were surprised when, suddenly, you hear a deep sultry voice speaking right next to you.

“Greetings. I think I have a proposal that may interest you.”

You look up to suddenly see a middle-aged looking blonde man, impeccably dressed and styled, sporting a bit bushy beard.

Is he… actually Mr. Nostitz ? He looks quite a bit younger than you expected… and more attractive… but it may be due to him having access to all the best treatments money can pay, after all. However, as he looks right in your eyes, you suddenly understand that the proposal – a business proposal, you guess – was aimed at you.

“Oh, er…” You stumble, not having expected this turn of events. “Greetings to you too, sir… what is that proposal about ?”

He smiles when you call him ‘sir’. Somehow, this smile seems almost… predatory ? Of some kind ?

“I’d be willing to place some of my fortune in your care… therefore in the care of this bank, if you were willing to grant me a few... favors.” He smiles, trying his hardest to look innocent while he is, in effect, holding you hostage to your company’s expectations. - I… I’ll think about it, sir…” You answer evasively, taken by surprise. - Of course, of course !” He smiles, looking even more predatory and threatening than before. He gives you a black piece of cardboard paper. “Here’s my business card, for when you’ve taken your decision.”

On that not-so-subtle order to accept, he takes his leave, leaving you confused in-between the jealous and judgy eyes of your colleagues. And as expected, you’re immediately summoned by your boss. He urges you to accept without delay, promising you a share of the high profits that a share of the Nostitz fortune will bring the bank.

And the door if you dare refuse.

That’s why you’re now here, in front of this huge manor, as ready as you can manage to be to throw yourself in the lion’s den.

The manor is very big, and very beautiful. Its fine architecture betrays its age, which shows how entrenched the Nostitz familly is, around here. A butler welcomes you inside, and leads you up to Mr. Nostitz’s office, though not without ridding you of your coat. And as you stand in front of the old wooden ebony door, you gather your courage before knocking.

“Enter.” The low and sultry voice orders.

You follow suit, opening the door, and finding Mr. Nostitz reading some files on a well-organized desk, with only a suspicious brown mallet throwing the neatness off.

“Hello, Mr. Nostitz.” You start, but as you’re about to continue, he cuts you with his authoritative voice. - Greetings. So you’re here to discuss my… proposition, are you not ? - Y-yes, sir, I am.”

He puts his files down, and stands up, towards one of the racks on the wall, looking through binder after binder.

“You see… ever since my son decided that our wealth was… problematic, I had a little project in mind. And when I saw you, I knew you were the perfect candidate for it.”

Son leaving ? Wealth problematic ? You the perfect candidate ? … it seems like the family drama you desperately wanted to know as little as you could about comes back to bite you in the ass…

“I’m sorry sir, I-” You start backing off, but he cuts you once again, his mere presence silencing you. - I want to do a little experiment on you.” He says, having found the documents he was searching for, reaching for the mallet and opening it in front of your eyes. “These… potions, you may call them, have some effects that I want to study. And you’re the perfect man for it. - Sir, I’m sorry to say that, but I don’t know if I want to risk my health with an untested substance !” You start refusing, tampering it as much as you can. - Of course, your refusal is to be expected when presented with so few information.” Somehow, this felt like a jab at you. “However, I guarantee that it is safe, it has been tested on numerous animals, and it’s been proven to be safe for humans. Besides, the papers I brought out here make me liable for any disease related to this… treatment.”

At least he was thoughtful, and didn’t ask you to jump in with full faith. However, he does ask you to jump in blind, which is more problematic.

“And, this treatment…” You interject, finding an opening in the conversation. “What does it do ? - Ah, yes, a most important query.” He comments, yet again preventing you from going further in your thought. “Let’s just say that it may trigger a few… changes in your body. Most importantly, it will make you look younger.”

Changes ? Younger ? These are two keywords that draw your attention, as they usually belong to that other part of your life… You are quite a bit more excited than you should be, but the chance to experiment with at least part of one of your oldest dreams, one that felt like it could only ever belong to fiction, clouds your judgment.

Such was Mr. Nostitz’s plan.

“I… I’m interested.” You finally manage, feeling it’s safe and enviable enough to throw the remainder of your caution to the wind. - That’s perfect. Then, I’d ask you to sign those papers, please.”

You skimp over them quickly before signing, hopefully catching anything big that would be lying in the text, but you find none. Assuming that no surprises remained, you sign. On that, Mr. Nostitz smiles maliciously, yet again looking like a predator, before reaching in the mallet and drawing a small glass flask, half-filled by an opaque cyan liquid.

“Then we should start now, don’t you say ? Please drink this.” He orders with his deep, authoritative voice. - O-okay…”

You were not expecting to start this so soon, but you’re quite weak to the strength of his voice… So you drink it. It doesn’t taste good, a bit too salty to your taste, but it’s not that bad. You know foods that tasted a lot worse. As you feel it coursing down your esophagus, you start expecting some effects, standing in silence, looking discreetly at your skin. But this just makes Mr. Nostitz elegantly laugh.

“Are you expecting instantaneous results ? You should wait until tomorrow, at the very least !”

You blush of shame from this, before deciding to cut this meeting there, since the treatment has already been administered. But before you can properly address your salutations, he stops you :

“I’m sorry, but now isn’t the time to go. See, it’s already late, so you won’t be able to go back to work.” He is correct, it is 7PM already, but you don’t understand why he’s stopping you like that. - I’m sorry, sir, but I… should really go home.” You say with the utmost care, not wanting to appear rude. - My, don’t you know you that, during the duration of the experiment, you agreed to lodging here ?”

You freeze.

You didn’t know that. Was it written in the document you signed ? Did you not notice it ? You did skimp through it, but surely such a motion would have jumped to you… However, taken in surprise, you improvise, lying to try and save face.

“Y-yes, of course, but I… need to get some things from home ! I can’t stay here with only what I have on me !” Hopefully he will buy your excuse. - Don’t worry, we have everything necessary on hand here. It might not be what you’re used to, but… everyone needs a bit of luxury in their life, if you catch what I’m saying.” He snidely smiles to you. - I’ll… see what I can do with…” You admit defeat, though surrendering to luxury isn’t the hardest thing to do. - That’s great ! The butler will lead you to your room.”

On that, the butler opens the door, and urges you to follow him. He leads you through beautiful corridor after beautiful corridor, all stinking money, until you reach another door. Inside is a spacious bedroom suite, likely bigger than your first flat, even without including the bathroom. It looks quite a bit more modern than the rest of the house, but with no less old money woody tones.

The butler leaves you alone inside, where, immediately after putting down the few things you were still carrying, you rush to the bathroom. However, you’re disappointed when you look inside the mirror and… it’s still you on the other side. Well, you expect it to still be you, but still, not seeing any change does bum you down.

This taken care of, you look around the room to get a bit more familiar with it. If it’s where you’re going to stay in the near future, you’d want to know where to find things of interest.

You start by the bathroom, finding a lot of hygiene stuff, including products for the skin and for the hair, as well as multiple bottles of expensive cologne and, weirdly enough, condoms… that are too big for your dick. Great. You move to the closet, in which you find a wealth of clothes, all fitted to your size – though they’re a bit loose on you, not by much, but noticeable enough – as if Mr. Nostitz knew you’d come. However, you’re surprised by their diversity. While there of course are the dress shirts and suits you’d expect, as well as polos, sweaters and other preppy clothes, there’s also some more young – for lack of a better word – clothes like a collection of jackets, t-shirts and even tank tops.

You close the closet back up, thinking to yourself that you’d never need this much clothes, but that you appreciate the thought. Having barely closed that piece of furniture, the butler invites you for dinner. He leads you to a grand dinner room, outfitted with a long wooden table, on which only two places were set.

You take place in front of one, while Mr. Nostitz takes place on the other side. On that follows a floury of expensive dishes, served as if you were at a high-grade restaurant. While you ate each of the courses, you entertained a lively discussion with Mr. Nostitz about investment, and about how his money would be taken care of, now that it is in your care.

That is, after all, the primary reason of your stay. Even if it got eclipsed by another.

Once the meal was finished, Mr. Nostitz waved you goodbye, and the butler accompanied you to your room. You did as usual, preparing yourself for bed, changing into your nightwear, brushing your teeth and all that. But as you were doing that, you noticed that your hair looked a bit… brighter than usual ?

It must have been the lighting, you think to yourself as you fall to sleep in the giant and extremely comfortable bed.

You are woken up by the butler at an early hour, as he tells you that breakfast will be served before you go to work. Ah… yes, right, you forgot, with how comfy the bed was, that you weren’t in holidays. So you stretch a bit, but as you enter the bathroom, something doesn’t look right…

It takes you a moment before you manage to figure it out.

Your hair was now blonde ! And curly !

You look out to your bedroom, but the butler isn’t here, so you look back in the mirror. God, that hair looks so healthy… You pinch yourself a few times, before you decide that you’re actually in the real world, and that this is now your hair.

A bit confused, you look in the myriad of products, and see that all the products for the hair are made for wavy or curly hair… how fortunate… So, you put some in your hair, hoping that they will make the mess that you woke up with more dignified, before continuing your morning routine as you usually do.

However, now the fact that there actually was a transformation makes you all excited for whatever comes next. You’re actually living your fantasy ! The one you thought wasn’t impossible in the real world !

Jovial, you eat, and enter the limousine, before being dropped off in front of your bank. You’re so happy about all that that you don’t even register the fact that you’re coming to work in a limousine, and sporting a healthier, curlier and blonder hairstyle than you ever had in your life. Though your colleague don’t ignore that, as you do manage to overhear people gossiping about those very things, you… really couldn’t care less. It just felt quite unimportant, really, when compared to everything else.

The day of work was over pretty quickly, and before you could even worry about going back to the manor, you see the limousine that drove you to your bank stationed in front, disturbing traffic in the meantime. You’d usually feel a bit guilty of being the reason of other’s frustrations, but somehow, you’re so happy that you just don’t care. Yet again.

As you enter, greeted by the chauffeur, it even starts feeling a bit normal, how you’re greeted with the utmost deference, how you are given privileges, how people are waiting for you…

You shake your head. This state of affairs is temporary, do not get used to the luxury. In a week, you’ll be back to your usual grind.

Arrived at destination, you enter the manor, expecting to see Mr. Nostitz, but he is nowhere to be found. That’s weird, you haven’t seen him in the whole day… you were eager to show him the golden curls you acquired… You furrow your brow at your sudden thought, finding them a bit out of character until you remember that you’re in an experiment. Of course the one responsible for holding the experiment should keep a close look on their patient.

But here you are, on your bed, not having seen him anywhere. You had the time to explore the mansion further, to write part of your next story, and relax, yet when the butler called you to go eat, you still hadn’t seen him. Taking place at the table, you also noticed that there was only one place setting. None for the elusive master of this mansion.

Adding insult to injury, before the first course, the butler comes back with a small flask, of the same kind that you took yesterday, filled in half with yesterday’s opaque cyan liquid. You sigh of frustration and take it from the butler’s hand, a bit more aggressively than you wanted to, and drink it, before unleashing your growing anger at the poor employee :

“Why isn’t Mr. Nostitz here ? He should be eating with me ! - Sir, Mr. Nostitz’s schedule is very busy, you were fortunate to have been able to share a dinner with him yesterday.” Explains calmly the butler, as if he’s seen this kind of tantrums many times. - That’s… understandable…” You answer, starting to calm down.

You eat each subsequent course in silence, trying to understand the reason of your anger. It’s not as if you really cared about Mr. Nostitz… he hosts you and runs this experiment, but you have only known each others for two days, and it’s not like it was love at first sight… After finishing your meal, you come back to your room, hoping to have a quiet evening after that feat of anger.

And as such started to create a bit of a routine for yourself.

On the morning, you checked the mirror for any change, noticing that you got taller, younger, more muscular and handsomer – for lack of a better word. You then take breakfast, ride up the limousine to your bank, slog through a workday becoming progressively boring as the days go on, and get relieved to find the limousine waiting for you in front of the building. Coming back to the mansion, you drink the flask, and then come out of your shell more and more, watching TV on the huge one in the living room, playing the latest Fifa if the urge takes you, going for a walk in the big gardens or even working out in the private gym, that seemed suspiciously new. And before sleeping, you use a progressively bigger amount of beauty products, noticing the odd few additional changes like your dick enlarging or your eyes taking on a blue color.

This life is becoming progressively comfier – not that it was painful by any means – and you feel more and more at home in the giant, faceless manor that you inhabit. Having a butler take care of you, being driven by a limousine, eating the finest foods, wearing the finest silk… all that luxury is starting to become second nature. The week flew by, and it was already time for the weekend. The last days of your experiment, the last days of a luxury that you will surely miss. And all that, without even having caught a glimpse of Mr. Nostitz.

You are now basically unrecognizable from the tired banker that came in this mansion. Now a handsome young man with blonde curls, all the fancy clothes that were bought for you fit like a glove thanks to the new muscles. As you take a last photo in front of the estate’s forest, you wonder if you should try opening an Instagram account. After all, your good looks aren’t going away, and work is just getting so boring...

But suddenly, your butler asks you to come urgently. Nonchalantly, you follow him to the mansion, where there seem to be a lot more people than usual. Is there a party of some kind happening ? You stroll in, finding Mr. Nostitz at the center of a small crowd. Finally ! He is here ! He will finally be able to see what you became !

So you hurry in his direction, drawing the ire of some of the guests. But you don’t actually care, they shouldn’t have been in your way in the first place. You are now in hearing distance from the architect of your experiment, but as you’re about to make yourself known to him, his voice overpowers you. However, it isn’t addressed to you, but rather at a guest.

“Cassandra, why must you raise this issue in a day of rejoicing !” As he told that, he looked briefly at you, noticing your presence. - Nathaniel, you cannot continue this charade ! Leandra has long passed, and even your own son agrees that you can’t continue claiming the fortune ! You are not part of our family anymore !” A well-dressed woman – Cassandra, you assume – with long curly dirty blonde hair insisted, angrily. - This son of mine isn’t able to manage our fortune, you can at least agree with me on that. Besides, I was married to Leandra, my beloved, so you know the implications. - Quit trying to act as if you’re part of our kin. We will need to see you in court, if you do not heed this last warning !” She said ominously, although it only drew Mr. Nostitz’s smile. An evil and predatory smile, as always. - If you’re talking like that… then I assume you are not acquainted with her second son.”

Second son ? You thought he only had one ! … and clearly, so did the rest of the room, who fell silent, looking at Mr. Nostitz with incredulity.

“Stop inventing excuses. If Leandra had another son, I would have been aware ! - Well, in this case, we may make introductions !”

He suddenly strides towards you, grabbing you by the arm, and as you stand there incredulous, he announces :

“I present to you my son. Leandra’s second son, and my second son. The true heir of the Nostitz family.”

A gasp of shock sleeps through the entire room, which would have included you if Mr. Nostitz hadn’t squeezed your arm at the right moment. Just what is he playing at ! Last you checked, you remember your parents, and none of them seem to belong to the Nostitz family that stands here, and you’re quite sure that Mr. Nostitz is in no way your father.

Yet, after the initial shock and denials, you hear people in attendance starting to notice similarities between you and your supposed parents. Some point out the curls like Leandra, or the blonde like Mr. Nostitz, some say your face looks like one member of the family or another, and other say you stature reminds them of Mr. Nostitz.

Out of them all, Cassandra, although she was just as shocked as the others, if not more, was the first to speak out against this assertions.

“This… is ridiculous ! You can’t just invent a new son to keep a hold of the money ! - I’m not inventing anyone. He was just… raised in another family to prevent him from being corrupted like his older brother. - This is pure and utter nonsense ! I require proof ! Irrefutable proof that he is your son, and Leandra’s son ! - All in due time, I knew you would react like that, so I prepared all the necessary prerequisites to make a paternity test. I wanted to present him to you all to continue this process.” Suddenly, he looks at you in the eyes. “Of course, my son will be enchanted to cooperate in your quest for proof, isn’t he ?”

His look was a dare. A dare to start living a life in a lie. A dare to continue living in the mansion you inhabit. Although he neglected you during your whole stay, although you have a life outside this mansion, although you have actual parents and family, you… can’t seem to be able to refuse his request.

Is it the luxury that drew you in ? Or the transformation, making you become a whole new person altogether ? Or is it Mr. Nostitz’s authority that you don’t want to defy ? Whatever the actual reason, you smirk, and cannot help but say, in the most proud and obnoxious voice that you have :

“Yes, of course, father.”

You pose, as your butler takes a picture in front of your vineyards.

You are dressed in an expensive shirt, with a luxury watch and obnoxious Gucci sunglasses. And you wouldn’t expect any less than this display of wealth. Because even though you don’t actually run those yards, your father being the one to generate all the wealth that you benefit from, you still own them. You also own a lot of other things, noteworthy between all these possessions being the Nostitz mansion.

However, now, you don’t work a day in your life. You quit you banker job as soon as the DNA test results came in, showing that you were indeed the son of Nathaniel Nostitz and Leandra Nostitz, as this life wasn’t yours anymore. Rather, you now spend your time on Instagram, modeling and throwing party after party with your new famous or otherwise wealthy friends. These activities let you earn a surprising amount of money, although it is just a drop in the ocean of all your wealth.

But you know that you are only a puppet, living a life of hedonism while your father cultivates power on your back, created with the only aim of holding on to a fortune. And you couldn’t care less. Hedonism is fun, once you give in, and it makes you happier than you have ever been. If the price for that is any sense of life achievement… then you are more than willing to pay it all.

Besides, it’s not as if you could actually say no to your beloved father.

[artificial-transmutations]

Your stories and images are beyond incredible. My favorite blog on tumblr BY FAR. Truly incredible work. I guess it’s kind of selfish, so absolutely so absolutely no worries, at the very least I got to tell you how much I appreciate and love your content. But I’m a short, nerdy, thin, art student in college right now. I’m tired of being in the closet, I’m tired of being a push over, Im tired of being weak and submissive, I’m tired of being a virgin, and I wanna change. Maybe you could help with a story by turning me into one of those jaw dropping beautiful confident men that you make the pictures of, I would very much appreciate it. But no worries if you can’t, I just love your content!

Confidence

Nathaniel sighed quietly, as he came over his hairless stomach. Of course, he had to be quiet! The dorm walls were paper-thin, and he certainly didn't want the guys from the neighboring dorm rooms to hear him. He looked at the website once more, with the story and the hot buff men before he closed the incognito browser tab and proceeded to clean himself up.

When he looked into the bathroom mirror, he sighed again, but this time, it was a sigh of sadness. There really wasn't anything remotely impressive about him. He was thin and weak, and pathetic really. If it wasn't for his lack of boobs and his sorry excuse for a dick, he could very well pass as a woman. In fact, he had been mistakenly called "Madame" more than once, and one time, he had even been asked "how his transition was going".

No, Nathan was a cis man, just not a very impressive one. He was gay, of course, and loved to look at 'real' men while jerking his small cock. Most of the time, he fantasized about some hairy brute rough-handling him, pushing his face against the bed and fucking his tiny ass into submission. However, even though the thought was exciting to Nathan, he even more wished to *be* such a man. The rational part of Nathan knew that both fantasies would not happen anytime, though. It was physically impossible to just *become* a 'real man', and it was impossible for Nathan to even admit to anyone that he was gay. So, he would probably just stay a closeted virgin forever - doomed to masturbate to some kinky stories he was so embarrassed about that he only dared to look at them from an incognito browser tab.

He sighed a third time when he crawled into bed. Perhaps someday he would accept his fate.

Nathan was already almost asleep when he heard the firework starting outside. Right. It was New Year’s Eve. What a way to start the new year.

The next morning, Nathan was feeling a bit better. Of course, his deep-rooted unhappiness still lingered within him, but Nathan decided to try and enjoy the day. He liked new year’s days. Everyone usually was at home after having celebrated the whole night which meant that the world outside was very quiet. Not much happened on New Year’s Day.

Nathan decided to go to a nearby cafe. There, with a steaming mug of hot chocolate next to him, he got out his drawing utensils and looked around the place. There weren't too many people. An older couple sat together, the man reading a book, and the woman reading a magazine, while an elderly lady sat at the counter. She was probably the owner. However, there was one more guy, a young adult like Nathan, who sat on a nearby table all by himself and was playing on his phone. He had his chair tilted back a bit, stabilizing himself against the wall and rocking a bit. He had earphones in his ear, so he was probably listening to music while doing so.

Nathan's first instinct was to draw the old couple, but then he looked at the other young man again. He looked a bit like one of those men from the internet, the kind that Nathan would fantasize about. Just a bit. The other man wasn't burly and muscular and assertive, but instead he had a lean, fit build. Nathan was a bad judge of character, especially without having spoken to the person in question, but the young man didn't look particularly assertive or dominant either. So, all in all, not too much like the men Nathan longed for on the internet. But still, he had a certain charm to him. Nathan liked the fit, lean body and the aura of positivity the man seemed to exude and wanted to capture that on paper.

Nathan began sketching the man, while occasionally looking up, making sure the man wouldn't notice. However, it was hard to keep his eyes off the guy. Every now and then, he would laugh a bit or make a funny face when watching something on his phone, which Nathan couldn't help but find very attractive.

He was just working on drawing the man's hands, when Nathan suddenly heard someone address him.

"Hey, what are you drawing?" The voice didn't sound rude or unfriendly, but plainly interested. Still, Nathan flinched visibly. The attractive man on the other table had removed one earplug and turned towards Nathan.

"Uh, sorry?" stuttered Nathan, not quite sure how to react. The guy pointed at Nathan's drawing pad and smiled: "You're an artist?"

Nathan could feel the blood rushing to his face. The drawing pad was tilted towards Nathan, so his unvoluntary model could not have seen what exactly Nathan was drawing. He could - no, he should - just lie and tell him he was sketching something in the room. But he just couldn't think of anything and the time for a good answer was running out. Almost involuntarily, Nathan stuttered, with his head red like a tomato: "Uhm, yeah, kind of. I was sketching you, actually."

The guy laughed a short and friendly laugh: "Really? Cool! Can I see it?"

Nathan could feel his heartbeat quicken, and his face got even redder. This was so embarrassing! But he couldn't very well refuse now, could he? So, he placed the pad flat on the table, just as the guy came over and sat himself down on Nathan's table.

"Oh wow!", he sounded impressed. "You're really talented! It's like looking into a mirror."

"Thanks" - Nathan hated getting compliments. Not only didn't he know how to react to them, but he also found them mostly fake. He was an art student, but he wasn't that good really, at least in his own opinion. In the dictionary, there was probably a picture of Nathan right next to the entry for "Imposter Syndrome".

"But why are you drawing me?" Although Nathan had feared that this question might come up, he didn't have a good lie to answer it. It was almost as if his mouth was acting on its own, when Nathan heard himself stammer: "Uh, eh, it's because I... I find you quite handsome actually. Good-looking I mean."

Nathan wished for nothing more than to be swallowed by the earth here and now. But to his big surprise, the guy just laughed again and said: "You think so? Thanks! The name's Oliver by the way." Oliver had, apparently, much less of a problem taking a compliment.

"Nathan." said Nathan and started to relax a tiny bit. However, the situation suddenly got even worse, when Oliver continued, in the same light-hearted voice. "Nice to meet you, Nathan! Are you into guys?"

Nathan froze solid. He hadn't expected that. And even worse, the answer was, of course, yes. But there was no way he could say that, was there? So, instead, he just stared at Oliver with his eyes wide open and a deer-in-headlights look.

"I mean, I'm gay - are you as well?" Oliver explained. "With the whole drawing dudes and all."

Nathan's brain had stopped working properly, so he couldn't help but nod and mumble a faint "yes".

Oliver's smile broadened and he said: "Really? Cool!"

Nathan's mind was racing. He had just admitted his homosexuality. To a complete stranger. Out of the blue. He didn't plan to come out that way, it just... happened.

A moment of awkward silence radiated from Nathan, but, thankfully, Oliver salvaged the situation pretty elegantly.

"Listen Nathan, I'll have to run now. But are you free tomorrow around 2? We could grab a coffee and you could show me some of your drawings if you like."

A spark of bravery, completely foreign to him, awakened in Nathan and he answered: "Y-yes. I think I would like that."

Oliver smiled another of his broad smiles. "Awesome! Let's meet here then tomorrow!"

With that, Oliver nodded at Nathan and left the cafe, putting in his headphone again while humming happily.

Did that really just happen? Nathan looked from the unfinished drawing towards the cafe door. Did he really just... got invited to a date? With a handsome guy named Oliver? Nathan wasn't sure whether to be happy or not. On the one hand, it was a miracle, a once in a lifetime opportunity. A cute and hot guy was actually interested in him! But on the other hand, there was no way he could make a good impression. How desperate had that Oliver guy to be to actually ask *him* out?

A small voice in his head insisted that he could just not show up tomorrow and avoid the whole disappointment. But the spark of bravery was still there, and Nathan fought down the feeling. No, he was going to show. If it turned out to be a disaster, he could still flee the scene - it wasn't like Oliver knew literally anything about him.

Nathan quickly packed his things and returned to his dorm room. Once he arrived, he noticed that he was completely covered in sweat of fear. His shirt showed wet spots under his arms and felt cold to the touch. Disgusted, Nathan immediately went for a shower. Only there, standing under the hot steamy water, Nathan could appreciate what happened. He got *asked out*. On a *date*. With a *guy*. Yesterday he had been certain he would die alone and lonely but then, today, he got *asked out*. Was this really a thing? Did it really happen?

He wasn't sure. He had a hard time believing it. Perhaps the whole thing was just a weird dream? A figment of his imagination. But no. The half-finished drawing was proof enough that Oliver really existed.

When Nathan exited the shower cabin, the whole bathroom was covered in steam, blinding the mirrors. Perhaps this - or the spinning of his thoughts - was the reason that he didn't notice that his hair had changed. Instead of his usual medium length brown-ish hair, he now sported a much shorter hairstyle - in a much darker color, almost black. Be it as it may - Nathan had other things on mind than checking his hair. He spent the whole afternoon and even the evening researching on how to make a good impression on a first date.

The next morning, Nathan slept in, which was pretty unusual for him. His whole frame felt weird, when he crawled out of bed. It wasn't too late, either - he had a comfortable 3 hours until the date. When he passed the bathroom mirror on his morning routine, however, he stopped for a moment. Something was... off about his face. His hair. It looked kind of... different?

Nathan stared at his reflection for a few seconds, straining his mind. Somehow, the shape of his jawbone seemed unfamiliar. And was his hair always that dark, almost black?

Finally, he shook his head. No, he was just seeing things. Of course, that was as it always had been. After having finished his bathroom business, Nathan went for a shower and prepared himself.

An hour later, he stood in front of the mirror, trying out a bunch of outfits and felt slight panic rising inside of him. None of his clothes fit very well, it was like he was cursed! It wasn't that his shirts and pants were much too big or much too small, but for some reason none of his clothes really felt comfortable. Both his favorite shirt and his usual jeans felt somewhat constricting today. Finally, Nathan just put on an outfit, and left his room.

When he entered the cafe, Oliver was already sitting there, two coffee mugs in front of him. He smiled, waved and gestured for Nathan to join him.

"Hello, Nathan!"

"H-hi." said Nathan, his nervousness returning.

"Here, I bought you a coffee!" Oliver pushed one of the mugs over the table.

"Thanks." Nathan was somewhat distracted by the ill-fitting clothes, and he could pretty much feel the nervous sweat practically pouring out of his pores.

"No problem!", said Oliver. "I was early, anyway. How are you doing today?"

"Fine." said Nathan and took a sip of his coffee, trying to hide his nervousness. He vividly remembered all the good advice he had read yesterday, but all that felt just impossible to him.

"So, you're an artist? What do you do?" Oliver asked with genuine interest.

"Well, I study art, I guess. I want to be a concept artist, you know, for games or movies or so. But, eh, right now, I'm just a student, and I'm not really that good."

"That's not how I remember it!" smiled Oliver. "Can you show me more of your work?"

Nathan nodded as he got out his sketchbook. Talking about his art was something he was comfortable with and allowed him to warm up somewhat over the course of the conversation. Oliver appeared to be quite a nice guy and had a lot of questions about drawing, so, Nathan, in turn, started to relax and talk more freely. He found out that Oliver was a veterinary technician and had a part time job at a dog shelter. That, combined with the fact that he was, in general, a really nice and positive guy, made him incredibly appealing to Nathan.

After the two had talked for a while, Oliver suddenly remarked: "You know, I really like your stubble! It really suits you!"

Stubble? What was he talking about? Nathan rarely needed to shave, but he had done so this morning, so, it was absolutely impossible that he should have visible facial hair. And yet, as he felt his chin, his fingers met with bristly short hair, so dense and long that there was no way he could have missed it this morning. Nathan found it strange, to say the least, but didn't want to make a scene in this situation. His spark of courage was a small candle flame now, as he just smiled while he felt his chin and said "Thank you!"

The two continued to chat a bit. While doing so, Nathan tried not to think too much about the fact that his clothes were, somehow, tighter than before.

Finally, Oliver's phone buzzed, and he looked at the screen.

"Damn, it's that late already?"

"What is it?", asked Nathan.

"Oh, the dog shelter. I have a shift soon, I need to go!"

Nathan sighed inwardly. He was really enjoying the date and didn't want it to end. He was pulled out of his thoughts by the feeling of Olivers hand on his. It felt... good. Good and strange, like the texture of his own hand was somewhat wrong, somewhat rougher than before. When he looked up into Oliver's eyes, he found the other man smiling.

"I really enjoyed this. You are a wonderful person, Nathan. We should do this again."

Nathan nodded. He didn't trust his voice right now.

"How about... tomorrow?", Oliver continued. "There's an art exhibition in town, perhaps you would like to go there with me?"

Nathan's heart jumped a beat. He didn't have time or courage yet to go to the exhibition and the prospect of seeing Oliver again so soon was wonderful.

"I would very much like that", Nathan replied and smiled.

"Great! Let's meet there, say at 5?"

"Sure!"

Oliver smiled his beautiful, broad smile, and stood up, leaving some money for the coffees on the table. Nathan too got up, but before he could leave, Oliver stopped him with a warm expression in his eyes. "You know, I really think I like you a lot." He said, and his hand touched Nathan's somewhat bristly cheek. Almost automatically, both of their faces drew closer to each other, until their lips met with the slightest touch. It was a chaste, short kiss, but Nathan could feel Oliver's lips smile when they broke apart.

"See you tomorrow!", said Oliver and left the cafe.

Nathan's knees felt weak, and his heart was beating rapidly. There were a thousand feeling, all happening inside him at once and Nathan needed a moment to sort through them before he was able to move again. There was a part of him that couldn't quite believe what just happened, but the biggest part was just euphoric. He basically jogged back to his home, full of a never experienced energy.

When he arrived in his room, his body was feeling even weirder than before. All of his clothes were way too tight. It was not just that he felt constricted, no, the clothes actually were much too small. He quickly got rid of them, noticing that, again, he had sweated like a pig. As Nathan glanced down on himself, he could almost see that his body was somehow different. Fitter, healthier. It was probably just his imagination, though, caused by his ecstatic mood. He briefly considered taking another shower but postponed it to tomorrow. There would be plenty of time and Nathan felt really glad and tired for today.

Nathan woke up from two different feelings the next morning. First, he felt itchy and sweaty all over his body and was subconsciously scratching himself in his sleep. Second, and perhaps even more importantly, Nathan was experiencing a severe case of morning wood. His manhood was rigid and pulsating under his sheets and was begging for attention. Nathan had a hard time remembering when he last experienced such an urgent urge to jerk off. He wasn't sure, but the memories of their kissing yesterday came to his mind as soon as he woke up, so, he couldn't resist closing his hand around his hard cock and started pumping. His hand felt rough and big, and Nathan couldn't be sure, but both length and girth of his tool seemed increased, too. However, Nathan could hardly concentrate on that due to the waves of pleasure washing over him.

It didn't take very long for Nathan to shoot a big load onto his stomach, with a moan. It was a big and sticky load, too, mixing with the little dark hairs on his stomach and chest. Nathan blinked in post-nut clarity. Hairs? He didn't have body hair.

Nathan got up quickly and went to the bathroom. Something about his perspective was off, too. It was like the ceiling was closer than it was supposed to be, and the ground further away. Once Nathan had used some toilet paper to wipe away most of the cum, he took a look at himself in the mirror. There was no denying that he looked different. He was definitely somewhat taller and broader than before. He didn't have a scale, but he was sure that he had gained quite some weight as well - not only due to the increased height and broader shoulders but also because his previous stickman-like appearance had been altered quite somewhat. All over his frame, a lean definition was visible, hinting at muscles even. His chin was covered in visible stubble and there was a bit of body hair visible, mainly on his chest and stomach as well as peeking out under his armpit.

Speaking of which, as Nathan raised his arm to look at his pits, a certain smell reached his nose. A musky, manly, slightly sweaty odor that wasn't quite unpleasant but was certainly unfamiliar.

Nathan had a hard time wrapping his mind around what he was seeing. There was no denying he looked *good*. He just didn't look exactly like *himself*. And for some reason, this didn't bother Nathan quite as much as it probably should. He should be panicking or calling a doctor. People didn't just grow taller overnight or put on definition without working out. And yet, Nathan only felt a slight bit of curiosity and a weak impulse that he probably *should* work out then.

Nathan shook his head and went back to his bedroom. He didn't bother putting on clothing and tried to pass the time until afternoon. The only thing that he *really* regretted about his sudden changes was that his favorite shirt and jeans would definitely not fit anymore.

He ended up watching a bit of TV and browsing the internet, before he decided it was time to prepare himself. Finding clothes that would fit now proved to be quite a challenge, but in the end, he settled on a plain t-shirt and some cargo pants. He had bought both of them a number too big by mistake, which came in quite handy now.

Walking through the city was a strange experience. He felt good about himself and held his head high. Combined with the fact that Nathan's head was, indeed, higher than before, it was like seeing the city in a whole new perspective. Less looking at the ground and more looking straight ahead.

His new posture seemed to have another effect, too. Where before he had to avoid people, trying not to get in their way, now they seemed to be stepping aside for him, which was a foreign but not unpleasant experience.

Finally, he arrived at the exhibition and found Oliver already waiting for him. They greeted with a hug and a short kiss, both fully reciprocated by Nathan, and went inside. Although Oliver seemed to notice something was off about Nathan, he didn't mention it and apparently forgot about it quickly.

Today, Nathan found it much easier to talk to Oliver and brought up topics by himself.

The exhibition however was kind of a let-down for Nathan. Although he could judge on a rational level that the art presented here was really well-done and interesting, on a purely emotional level, Nathan found it mind-numbingly boring. The conversation steered away from the art quickly, and more towards personal matters, which was a relief. So, even though they didn't care much about the paintings around them, the two of them ended up wandering around the exhibition for hours, talking and having a good time.

During the date, however, Nathan was quickly experiencing an unfamiliar feeling. The company of Oliver was... exciting. Exciting on a sexual, primal level. Nathan's larger manhood grew semi-hard in his underwear quickly, so Nathan had to readjust himself more than once. At first, he was very self-conscious about it and tried to be as subtle as possible. However, with every push his cock needed in order not to be too obvious, Nathan actually cared less about who saw him readjust himself. He was a guy after all, and all big-dicked men had that particular problem from time to time.

Besides forming a bulge in his groin, however, his constantly semi-hard cock did one more thing: Nathan was leaking precum in his underwear. First, it was just a drop or two on an involuntary throb, but it quickly became more. His underwear was feeling damp before long, and a faint note of sexuality mixed into his still present smell.

After a while, Oliver even commented on it, in his usual upbeat way: "Hey, Nathan, I have to say, you smell pretty good. Are you using cologne?"

Nathan hadn't noticed his own smell too much. His first impulse was to apologize, but the burning campfire of courage inside of him quickly told him otherwise. Oliver didn't complain. In fact, he liked it.

So, Nathan answered with a grin: "Nope. That's just how I smell."

Oliver took another whiff of the mixture of sweat, dried cum and precum and smiled. "Well, I like it!"

Nathan wasn't quite sure how to react, and just said: "Thanks!"

The exhibition was closing down soon, and Nathan offered Oliver to accompany him to the train station, which he gladly accepted. When they parted, they kissed again. This time, it wasn't a small, timid kiss like before, but a long, sexual one that made Nathan's dick twitch like mad in the confines of his pants. Since their bodies were pressed closely together, Nathan could be sure that Oliver felt the movement against his own groin.

Only after they broke the kiss, Nathan noticed that he was now looking down on Oliver slightly. He could have sworn that Oliver had been slightly taller than him yesterday.

There was no telling on how the evening would have continued hadn't it been for Oliver's train to arrive just then. Before Oliver could board the train, however, Nathan grinned at him and said: "Dinner tomorrow? The Italian place downtown, at 6?"

"I would love that!"

They kissed again and Nathan watched as the train pulled out. Then, he went back to his dorm, whistling a happy tune. It didn't even occur to him that he had taken the initiative in asking Oliver out for a third date. The fire of confidence was burning bright inside of him.

When he came home, Nathan immediately stripped out of his clothes. Even the larger shirt had become somewhat tight. He took a short look at it. There was a wet patch under both arms from his constant sweating, and the t-shirt had adapted his smell. There was something else in the smell, though. At the chest region, there was a medium sized stain, machine oil from the smell of it. Nathan wondered briefly how he could have missed it this morning but then diverted his attention to more pressing matters. His cock was fully hard and was poking out from the waistband of his briefs. Nathan hadn't had an erection like that since puberty and, if he was honest with himself, the feeling was rather nice. Without hesitation, he closed his hand around his hard meat and gave it a few experimental pumps. A low growl escaped his mouth, and a shiver went through his body. He didn't want to go slow, he wanted to fuck. His mind was focused on the task at hand. He didn't even bother to close his curtains, as he went for it. Nathan was jacking himself off, fast and hard, growling and groaning, until he finally exploded all over his chest and face, shooting multiple loads of thick white cum everywhere.

As Nathan was catching his breath, the smell of cum was heavy in the room. God, he needed that. Ever since he met Oliver today. He wiped his face and chest with his discarded t-shirt and briefly considered if he wanted to take a shower. The smell emanating from him was rather strong now, but still, he didn't want to. Oliver seemed to like his body odor, and, if Nathan was being honest, he did so himself, too.

Nathan was woken by his alarm the next morning. As his mind came to focus, his hand reached for the smartphone automatically and dismissed the alarm. He yawned and stretched. He was really looking forward to today. Given, it was the last day before classes started again, but he was going to a third date with Oliver this evening!

When Nathan crawled out of bed and went for his bathroom, however, his body felt weird again. The muscles had become more defined over the course of the last two days and now, the whole body structure felt *strong*. The few hairs from before had become a small forest of body hair and the stubble had grown thicker. He still didn't feel the need for a shave, though.

Nathan wasn't quite sure about the whole situation. Of course, he was enjoying the change. On the other hand, ... No, fuck the other hand. This was great, plain and simple. He finished his morning business standing up while peeing, which he usually never did. But right now, it just felt *right*.

After that, he inspected his wardrobe. He had half-feared that he would need to go and buy new clothes, but apparently, overnight his wardrobe had changed as well. It was filled with sturdy cargos or work pants as well as simple shirts and the occasional overall. Good!

His underwear choice had also changed. Instead of briefs or boxers, the drawer was now filled with jockstraps. That made sense, of course - only a jockstrap would set his large dick in the right scene.

None of the clothes qualified as "clean". Sure, they had been washed before they went into the wardrobe, but permanent grease or oil stains had permeated the fabric just as Nathan's manly stink - both marks no washing machine could ever erase entirely.

Nathan grabbed one of the pants and smelled it. He couldn't help but smile. This was his smell. This was *his* smell. His manly, sweaty, dirty, horny smell. He even felt his ever-present dick twitch a bit at the smell. Nathan wasn't sure if he would ever get used to this new reality. Or if this even was the final reality.

The hours passed quickly. Nathan was keeping himself busy, playing games or listened to music. Not once did it occur to him to draw something or even look at his art. This new him wasn't particularly creative, it seemed.

Nathan's mind wandered back to the date this evening. He couldn't wait to see Oliver again. In fact, he couldn't wait for more than that. It was a third date and Nathan wanted to go all the way with Oliver. He wanted to take his ass and fuck it into oblivion.

At around 5 pm, Nathan stood in front of the Italian place, waiting for Oliver. When Oliver finally arrived, the two men greeted each other with a passionate kiss. Nathan could tell that the kiss was having an effect on Oliver, as his breathing was quicker than usual.

They went inside and sat down on a table. Almost automatically, Nathan's legs spread wide, taking up space, establishing presence and, most importantly, giving his equipment the necessary space. The *old* Nathan would have sat with his legs closed or even crossed, in order to not draw any attention to himself. However, the new Nathan didn't want to draw *less* attention.

The two chatted a bit, with the main topic of the conversation being the menu, before ordering. When he spoke, Nathan noted that his voice had dropped an octave, making his voice gravely and his laugh a low rumble. When Oliver had chosen, Nathan summoned the waiter and ordered for the both of them, his lower voice full of confidence. For Nathan, it was a large meat pizza and a beer.

"You know, I have never seen you drink before", remarked Oliver.

"I don't usually", replied Nathan. "But I thought I'd have a beer today."

"You're not driving, are you?"

"Na, I'm here on foot."

Oliver smiled his usual smile. "I'm here by car, so if you like, I can give you a ride home afterwards."

There seemed to be some subtext to this offer, but it went over Nathan's head. Not that it was necessary, because he had the exact same plans, anyway.

"Sounds great!"

A couple of minutes later, their pizzas arrived, and the two dug in.

"I really like your style, Nathan." said Oliver after a while.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, the way you dress. The way you talk. The way you act."

"Oh. Thanks."

Nathan thought for a moment before he added: "You know, I go by Nate these days."

"Nate, eh?", smiled Oliver.

"Yeah. Fits better, you know."

"I guess so. I like it a lot!"

"I like your style, too."

"What do you mean by that?", Oliver laughed.

"Just, the way you talk, the way you walk. Everything. You're cute, you know."

"Why, thank you!"

The conversation was definitely a lot more flirtatious than yesterday. When they had finished their meals, they didn't linger much longer in the restaurant but got into Oliver's car.

Nate proceeded to give Oliver directions to his home. However, at a certain crossing, he had to stop and think for a moment. He knew for a fact that his dorm was to the left. But he also knew for a fact that his *home* was to the right. Nate decided not to overthink it and directed Oliver to the right with a firm voice.

They didn't get very far from that point, when suddenly, the car stopped with a jerk.

"Damn, sorry!" said Oliver. "The engine is acting up again. It's probably too cold or something like that. I'll just try to start it up again."

When after the third try, the engine didn't start again, Nate laid a hand on Oliver's. "Let me try." he said with a confident voice and left the car. When he opened the hood, the problem became clear to him right away.

"The carburetor is a bit clogged, I'll unclog it real quick and we're ready to go."

While Oliver was staring at Nate in surprise, as the latter quickly and with trained skill removed a few parts and then, with a flex of his mighty arms, applied percussive maintenance to the part in question. After Nate had reassembled the engine, he cleaned his hands on his pants and got into the car again, filling out the passenger seat with his presence.

"It should work again for now, but I'll have to clean it thoroughly tomorrow. The thing is just old and worn down, it needs replacing soon. Just try starting the engine."

Oliver was still staring at Nate with a disbelieving look on his face. Finally, however, he tried starting the engine again, and the car did indeed start running smoothly.

"Wow, Nate, that was amazing! Where did you learn that?"

"What do you mean", grinned Nate. "That's what I do!"

Oliver stared at him for a moment. "Wait, you're a mechanic?"

"Yeah, sure, didn't I tell you when we met?"

Oliver seemed to think about it but then slowly nodded: "Yes, I... think so. Weird. I could have sworn..."

Nate shrugged and pointed down the road: "Shall we go?"

They arrived at Nate's place shortly after. He had a cheap apartment directly over the car garage where he worked. Nate did try to clean up a bit the afternoon, but the place still screamed "Manly bachelor" all over the place with the occasional beer can or jockstrap scattered around.

Neither of them had time to care, though. As soon as the door closed, the two kissed. It wasn't just a chaste, romantic kiss. This was a heated, passionate kiss, full of desire and lust. Nate took Oliver's body and pushed him against the wall, grinding their bodies together. Both were hard and their breathing was rapid. Nate's hands wandered up and down Oliver's body, squeezing and grabbing his body. His fingers were strong and forceful, and he squeezed the smaller man's buttocks and his dick with the same intensity. Oliver responded by moaning and pushing his groin against Nate's, humping him.

Suddenly, Nate broke the kiss. "Oliver, I... I want you. I want to fuck you."

Oliver didn't answer, but kissed Nate again, harder this time. Nate's tongue invaded his mouth, and the bigger man's hands were ripping Oliver's shirt and pants off him. Once Oliver's dick was free, it was enveloped by Nate's big calloused hand, and Oliver's breath hitched in his throat.

"Oh god, Nate, yes!" he moaned.

Nate had enough of foreplay, and he wanted to fuck, now. Without wasting any time, he quickly pushed his pants down and pressed his dick against Oliver's. It was massive, even compared to Oliver's not insignificant size. While Nate's balls were big and heavy, his cock was thick, long, and veiny, with a fat mushroom head. It was also rock hard, and the head was already drooling precum.

With one hand, Nate stroked the two cocks together, rubbing them and smearing the precum all over his dick and Oliver's. With the other hand, he pulled Oliver close and kissed him again, a long, sensual, passionate kiss, which made Oliver moan into his mouth.

The two stood like that for a while, but finally, Nate's need to fuck was stronger than anything else.

"Bedroom. Now!" he growled and dragged the smaller man with him. Once there, Nate simply tossed him onto the bed and followed quickly, his cock pointing up. He positioned himself on top of the other man and kissed him again, their tongues dancing in their mouths.

When the kiss broke, Oliver was panting.

"You really are a big boy, huh?"

"Damn right I am."

"Oh god, I need your big dick inside of me!"

"Yeah? You want me to fuck you?"

"Please! I've wanted to feel your huge meat in me for days."

"Fuck yeah. You're gonna get it."

Nate reached under his bed and produced a bottle of lube, which he applied liberally to his dick.

"You're ready?"

"Do it, big guy."

Nate placed the head of his massive cock against the tight pucker and started to push. Slowly but steadily, his dick invaded Oliver's ass.

"Oooooooooh god, Nate, yesssssss!" moaned Oliver.

The pressure around Nate's dick was unbelievable. Oliver was clearly tight, and the way his asshole was massaging his dick felt heavenly.

Finally, Nate's dick was balls-deep inside Oliver. Both were breathing heavily, and Oliver was moaning incoherently. Nate gave him a moment to adjust and then started moving his hips, first slowly, but increasing his pace quickly. Soon, he was slamming into Oliver's ass as hard as he could, pulling almost completely out and then thrusting back inside the smaller man.

"Fuck yeah! You like that? You like my huge dick pounding your tight little ass?"

"God, yes, Nate, fuck me, fuck meeee!"

Nate was groaning and growling, a sound that came deep from his chest and made Oliver moan even louder.

"Oh shit, Nate, I'm so close! Don't stop, please don't stop, don't st- ooooooooh gooooooood!"

Nate felt Oliver's muscles clamp down on his dick, and that sent him over the edge. He buried his dick as deep as he could and shot a big load of cum deep into Oliver's guts.

The two of them collapsed on each other, spent but happy.

A lot had changed for Nathan in this new year. He had gotten a new body, a new job, a new identity even. But most importantly, he had found love. Nate the manly mechanic sighed. If he were to describe his feelings, looking into the future, there was only one fitting word: Confidence.

I actually generated a ton (okay, 50) of images for this story. If you want to check out the alternate versions of the different stages of Nathan/Nate, check out my tip jar, where I posted them!

[sophieswundergarten]

Hi we're doing a full analysis of this because I was half asleep when I reblogged it last night and I want to do it justice My deepest apologies to the artist if I misinterpret, misrepresent, or misunderstand any of this. I'm doing my best, but my brain's a little stupid

The way that it's the above shot of Curtain writing in his journal and then Kate's mirror!! Because they're the same scene, just from the different angles and it's so cool! The mirror frames the words really perfectly, and it highlights the text in a beautiful way. It's also kind of neat because "Travelers should always keep journals / journals should always keep secrets" The kids are "travelers" to the Institute, and Curtain keeps so many secrets in his journal. I can see that being something the twins said to each other when they were little. With the kids, the message means something playful and familiar, while Curtain's secrets are fiercely guarded because he doesn't trust anyone; he doesn't have anyone to share his journey with.

And then the middle one!! Little Nicholas as we first see him, sitting and reading, and then when he gets into the car with the Glenns. Two totally different expressions, but both of them directed at his brother. (Also, the contrast of Nathaniel having slicked Nicolas' hair back in between the two clips) And then the fact that the pages of Curtain's journal is included is a whole other level of amazing. "Read quickly and move on" Nicholas is reading Ivanhoe, but Nathaniel comes and makes him put it down so they can prepare for the adoptive parents, and then Nicholas moves on to live with them. HOWEVER, he doesn't move on emotionally, and neither does Nathaniel. I don't know, something about the both of them assuming a lot about each other's position and trying their best to move forward and grow up acting like they aren't really hurt by it. (And, again, the kids having to read Curtain's diary quickly)

And then the island!! And grown up Nicholas and Nathaniel!! Nicholas looks so sad, but Curtain is trying to act all composed and unbothered. "Bon voyage. Mr. Benedict" Nicholas, of course, always feels sad and often openly expresses this when he is saying goodbye to people he loves. He wishes them well but he also knows that they have to leave and go on their own journey sometimes. Curtain, meanwhile, thinks that he can control everyone so that they never leave him. Nicholas is letting the kids go to the Institute, even though he doesn't want to and he's scared for them, because he believes that they can do what needs to be done. Curtain has made the island his whole world, because there he can always be in control, and the only people who leave are ones he doesn't think he needs.

Also, as Milk pointed out, the colours and rectangles being placed so well as they cover more and different areas of the image are absolutely fantastic.

And the fact that the words are pulled directly from the show blew my socks off it's insane

↳ 𝒂 𝒃𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒃𝒐𝒐𝒌.

[joejhang]

nathaniel wesninski vs neil abram josten

something that fascinates me abt the aftg books is the nathaniel vs neil dichotomy. so i'm gonna analyse and dissect it like a completely normal and fine person. spoilers ahead !!! continue at ur own risk

i feel like the fandom has the wrong idea abt nathaniel and neil; they aren't foils, they're mirrors. they're a lot more similar than i think the fandom likes to acknowledge. and i actually don't think neil himself has too much of a problem with that.

allow me to elaborate. neil isn't scared of nathaniel, and nor is he very sensitive about his father. he actually references his father sometimes as a defence mechanism ("you think i'm afraid of your knife? i'm the butcher's son.") his feelings towards his father are, i'd say, deep-rooted fear and resentment. this has to extend somewhat to nathaniel, given how deeply entwined nathaniel wesninski is with both the butcher (neil's childhood abuser, the one person he truly fears) and mary hatford (also one of neil's abusers imo but their relationship is a lot more complex), both of whom neil says he doesn't want to become like. but he also says it might be inevitable that he is a little bit like them anyway (he's right).

i think this is how the fandom differentiates between nathaniel and neil; nathaniel is cold-blooded, ruthless, analytical, a criminal mastermind. nathaniel wesninski sealed the deal for his own survival with ichirou moriyama. nathaniel wesninski endured the torturous conditions in the baltimore house. nathaniel wesninski watched the butcher of baltimore brutally murder a man in front of him at ten years old in castle evermore. nathaniel wesninski followed his mother on the run for eight years, twenty-two cities, sixteen countries and a dozen fake identities. nathaniel wesninski watched as his mother left bodies and sacrifices in their wake for their own survival. nathaniel wesninski orders hits on the people who have hurt the people he loves. more than once, others in the series note that neil will always be nathaniel wesninski at heart (ichirou, jean) and neil doesn't correct them.

neil josten, on the other hand, is scrappy and messy and impulsive. neil josten has sharply honed survival instincts that he throws away at the first chance of getting to live a real life. neil josten chose to stay at palmetto state university with the full knowledge that he would get himself and many others killed. neil josten clocked r*ko's shit on live tv and at the fall banquet. neil josten trusted a five foot nothing goalkeeper with his life for a year. neil josten saw the opportunity to do what he loved, even if it would kill him, and he took it. neil josten isn't afraid to run his mouth, be it to a teammate who overstepped or a reporter broadcasting on national tv. neil josten doesn't think about the past or the future but lives in the moment, all consequences be damned. neil josten gets to know and starts to care about the foxes even though he knows he shouldn't.

in short; nathaniel wesninski is ice all the way through, unapologetically the butcher and the bird's son, and neil josten is all fire, a young man and a runaway who chose living over survival and friends (family) over safety.

that's the dichotomy, but i actually think people don't realise that they're two sides of the same coin. i don't mean like "neil is nathaniel is nathan" i mean like neil chose to be neil josten, with full knowledge and agency, but that doesn't change that he was nathaniel first. in the fandom's declawing of neil, they forget that he's still the butcher's son, and he isn't afraid to show his teeth.

"neil josten" doesn't exist on his own. he is a product of neil's time with the foxes. neil says himself, at the beginning of the series, neil josten wasn't a person, just another identity that could be discarded at the drop of a hat. it was the foxes that made "neil josten" a real person. they pulled out from that facade the parts of neil that "no disguise could change". neil's character arc from the scared nobody at the beginning of tfc to the brave and happy young man at the end of tkm wouldn't have ever happened without the foxes' influence on his life. that pivotal narration change from neil to nathaniel in tkm is in a sense, neil shielding the foxes and the person he was around them from the cruel reality of his past. the identity of "nathaniel wesninski" is real and undeniable, already bloodstained from his brutal childhood, and untouched by the foxes, and so can't really be ruined by his father's hand (sweet mourning lamb, there is nothing you can do, it has already been done). everything that happened in baltimore, from the legal name change to neil and andrew's conversation in the car ("can i really be neil again?" "i told neil to stay. leave nathaniel buried in baltimore with his father.") is more of a decision to choose a new life than it is a new identity. "can i really be neil again?" is neil asking if he's really escaped his past and he can truly stay with the foxes and be who he was around them freely. and andrew's "leave nathaniel buried in baltimore with his father" is more of an assurance to let neil's bloody past go in favour for a new and better life.

note: "let go" does not mean forget or disregard or lose. it just means to accept it but move on. this is important i promise.

after that, neil is able to continue freely in his life. wait no he's not. ichirou comes to find him. right.

the neil and ichirou conversation is one of the most interesting in the series. it says a lot more about neil's character than people seem to notice. neil actively "switches" into the persona of nathaniel wesninski specifically for that conversation. something about how every word has to be true and it has to be the biggest lie he's ever told. neil's switch to nathaniel is a little jarring and a little uncanny. the way he speaks is pure business, coldly rational and disconcertingly subservient to ichirou (disconcerting because of how adamantly neil refused to submit to r*ko and testuji and even his father's people). but it's interesting because it's still neil josten speaking. the narration doesn't change, and the way neil talks is still very much himself, just honed and polished to suit the man ichirou thinks he's speaking to. ichirou wasn't looking for neil abram josten, starting striker for the psu foxes, he was looking for nathaniel wesninski, the only son of the butcher of baltimore. neil knew this, and knew he had a part to play and he plays it so easily it actually fucking works. he isn't even afraid of ichirou. everything he says and does in that scene is careful and thought-out and logic-based, but there is no fear. all of neil's fear in the aftg series quite literally is caused by his father, and can always be traced back to him. since nathan is dead at this point, neil isn't fearful of ichirou, just cautious.

the narration change in tsc is also notable. jean thinks of neil as nathaniel wesninski until the foxes beat the ravens and r*ko dies. this is significant because the idea of "nathaniel wesninski" is also deeply entwined with the perfect court. if neil had signed with the ravens he would've been nathaniel wesninski (03) not neil josten. but once r*ko is dead and once tetsuji steps down, the perfect court no longer exists, and neither does the phantom partner jean was clinging to all these years. there is no nathaniel wesninski (03), no forever partner for jean, even though he has nathaniel's auburn hair and ice-blue eyes and cruel smile, he doesn't have the mark of the perfect court anymore and r*ko and tetsuji aren't around to reinforce that delusion so for jean, now there is only neil josten.

still, he also says later on that neil is a wesninski at heart. neil doesn't really take this personally, from what we can tell. killing a rapist isn't something particular to neil or nathaniel, he would do it whether he was neil abram josten or nathaniel wesninski. but the method, the subtlety, writing the numbers on a napkin, handing them to his mobster uncle, that is such a nathaniel-characteristic thing to do that jean comments on it. neil might have problems with wearing his father's face and his father's smile, but he never denies the truth that he is a little like his father (referencing his hot temper), and he isn't hurt or offended by jean's comment.

this post is getting way too fucking long, even for me, so i won't go into the "abram" of it all, but just know there's something to be said about that, too. i just think the fandom takes the whole "leave nathaniel buried in baltimore" thing a little too literally. nathaniel isn't gone for good, he will always be a part of neil, but neil's accepted that and moved on. he's living his best life, doing what he loves with people he loves, and even tho he does act a little bit like a wesninski at times, he's come to terms with who he is and who he chose to be: neil abram josten.

[enthusiasticharry]

I also might have a few ideas of a few scenes that take place between each of the years (maybe even one from Harry’s POV of when he realised his love for governess!yn!)

Ah this sounds so good!! Write it babee!!

I may have an idea (if you are comfortable writing smut) like they have sex for the first time after giving birth to nathaniel and she is lil insecure cause after her pregnancy thinks that Harry may not like her body and all

orrr a domestic day were H makes breakfast for everyone and nathaniel is 2 or 3 years old and they all spend time together??

I don't know if it's a good idea but write anything I will read about them!!💗

Suffer in Silence

Daisies (Part One) ; Edelweiss (Part Two)

summary: after the birth of YN and Harry's first child, YN finds herself struggling to believe that Harry still desires her and he wants to prove that is not the case.

author's note: a lil extra for the governess!yn universe!!thank you so much for this ask!! the second that I saw it I knew that I had to write it for them!! the second request is certainly in the works, so watch out for that in the future!!!

word count: 3.2k

warnings: smut, discussion of body image postpartum.

Pregnancy was a beautiful thing.

YN was never, ever in her life going to dispute that. It was, as far as she believed, one of the most beautiful things that a woman could do. The fact that beyond their scientific knowledge, the body was prepped and able to change and adapt to protect a child that was made (in YN’s case especially) as a result of the love between her and her husband. It was completely astonishing to her, and she would never change that experience for anything in the world. No matter the sickness she experienced, the tumultuous changes in her emotions or the constant fatigue that wracked her body – YN would do it all over again for Nathaniel.

He was the missing piece to a puzzle that YN did not even know she needed. He brought life and light into the family, and more importantly, love. The way that Noah and Norah had accepted Nate into their lives, and even more so the way he brought them so much closer together. They were a family, and no matter what YN had endured to get here, she would never change it for the world.

Every woman experienced pregnancy differently and YN would never, ever dispute that fact. Her pregnancy had not been easy, but Nate was the reward. A very beautiful, charming reward.

The only way that YN could describe how she felt now was that something was missing within her. She would never blame Nate for this – he was the newly found light in her life. However, she would certainly be lying if she said that Nate’s pregnancy had not changed her in certain ways.

To YN, the change that had recently become too difficult for her to ignore was her body. The one (more reasonable) part of her brain continued to remind her that her body had done a wonderful thing, it had grown their son, kept him safe for nine months and then helped welcome him safely into the world. The other part, the one that held centre stage right now as she stood in front of her mirror was what plagued her.

Her stomach, which had been stretched to accommodate Nate in his growing had not returned straight away to its normal state (which YN had not expected at all) but now that Nathaniel was nearing five months, she thought there would be some sort of normality returned. Instead, there was still loose skin and greying lines which held a pink hue (not as prominent as when she was pregnant, but still there) littering her stomach, hips, and thighs.  Her breasts, fuller than they had before had their own lines which reminded her daily of their change also. Again, there was the rational part of her brain that tried to remind her that her breasts had changed to be able to feed their child, but her brain often could not focus on that.

YN’s head was tipped as she looked herself up and down, her body bare apart from the dressing gown that rested upon her shoulders. It was difficult to focus on the benefits of the changes to her body, especially when the only word she could think of when she looked at herself was ugly.

She could not stop those thoughts, even more so when she tormented herself with the ideas of what would happen if Harry were to see her in such a state.

Before the pregnancy, and even during, Harry had always been remarkably touchy with YN. It was as though there was a pull that meant that a part of his body always had to be touching hers – whether that was a hand in hers, an arm over her waist as they slept or knees touching as they sat side by side. YN, once these thoughts had settled within her brain, found it difficult to shake them. It meant that, without necessarily thinking of the effect of such, she had pulled away from Harry in these last few months.

It had meant that when their nights had once been filled with soft kisses and lingering touches now found both of them falling asleep with a gap big enough for another person between them. It frightened YN, as much as it upset her. She had no way of knowing whether or not they would return to normal, or if there would be a point in which YN was comfortable enough to be that way with Harry again.

She had not even realised within her thoughts, as she stared at herself in the mirror that tears had begun to fall. They were light, but they were there.

YN sighed, shaking her head, and pulling her dressing gown closed, and that was when Harry opened the door to their bedchamber. YN gasped, watching as his eyes moved from hers down her body until meeting hers once more.

“What is it?” Harry stepped further into the room, closing the door behind him, immediately noticing her tear-stained cheeks, “What is wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong,” YN shook her head, pulling the fasten of her dressing gown tighter to her body, “I am just tired, I think. It is nice to have a child-free evening I suppose, as much as I miss them.”

“I would not worry about them,” Harry shook his head, moving even closer towards YN, “My mother is probably spoiling them rotten, and you know how much Nate lights up when Nana is around.”

YN smiled, but she could not help when that smile dropped the second Harry grabbed her hand, spinning her around so that they were looking into the mirror. He wrapped his arm around her waist, YN gasping when she felt the weight of him on her body. His head dropped to her shoulder, pressing a kiss to the exposed skin of her neck (which she guessed was still his favourite place to be).

“We have not had a night alone in the five months since Nate was born,” Harry mumbled into the skin of her neck, “I want to know what has upset you so much.”

“Nothing,” YN shook her head, hoping that Harry would believe her, “I am just missing the children, that is all.”

“Now, whilst I know that is partly true… I also know that you are keeping something from me.”

YN turned her head slightly, looking up at Harry with tears in her eyes once more, “I am sorry.”

“What are you apologising for?” Harry asked, lifting one of his hands to brush YN’s hair off her face, “You have nothing to apologise for.”

“No, I do,” YN nodded, placing her hand upon Harry’s, “I have been distant, and I have been cold and I…”

“YN, stop it,” Harry shook his head, “You just had a child. I know that I do not come first to Nate, or to Noah and Norah – I know that. You do not need to apologise for that.”

“But, it is my fault that I cannot be with you in the way that you need,” YN shook her head, “That is my fault. It is my fault that you no longer have a wife that you desire.”

Harry went silent, and it was as though all of the worries that YN had felt were finally confirmed. She thought she would cry even more, but she felt more content than anything.

Then she did not feel that way anymore.

“Is that truly what you think?” Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, and then a look of hurt crossed his features, “That I do not desire you anymore?”

“How can you? I do not blame you; I would not desire myself with how I look right now.”

 Harry sighed and shook his head. It was then that a look of what can only be described as anger crossed his features. His finger lightly tapped YN’s cheek, moving her head so that she was facing herself in the mirror again.

“You truly think I do not desire you?” YN nodded as Harry sighed once more, “YN… you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes upon. God, I do not even know where to start. Those eyes of yours… you always say that my eyes are your home, but yours are mine. The soft skin of your cheeks, I would nestle my lips into them constantly if I knew it was not proper to do so. And… your lips. YN, how I lasted so long in my life without your lips I will never know, but if you think now that I have experienced them I would ever let them go – you are sorely mistaken.”

The tears that were collecting in YN’s eyes now were not because of her feelings but of the effect of Harry’s words. The look in Harry’s eye told YN that he was far from finished, but what else that man could say she had no idea.

His fingers drifted from her cheek down her neck, lightly running his fingertip from the bottom of her ear downwards until it met the nape of her neck, and then he smiled once more.

“Now, your neck,” Harry chuckled slightly from behind her, “You know the love I have for your neck, and how if I could live there, I most certainly would.”

YN chuckled from the side of him, “That would be a most terrible inconvenience.”

“You are calling me an inconvenience now? I see how it is,” Harry’s words have a slight teasing edge to them, and she knew that it would not end there.

It was then that YN truly realised the extent to which her words had annoyed him. It seemed that no matter what he was to say next, the fact that he had to utter those words was enough for YN’s chest to start heaving. His attack continued, his fingers moving down the exposed skin of her neck and collarbone until it landed upon the thin material of her nightgown. YN gasped slightly, worry crossing her features immediately at what his next step was to be.

“YN,” His fingers moved from the hem of her nightgown to the material further down, inching closer and closer to the tie that held the gown closed. YN immediately dropped her hands upon his, stopping his movements from continuing.

“I will disgust you, Harry,” YN shook her head, “I do not look the same as I did before.”

“I do not want you to look the same as you did before,” Harry shook his head, “You could never disgust me, YN. Your body has changed and as a result of that change, we have Nate. I cannot even fathom it; I swear to you. You would never disgust me, YN I am in awe of you.”

It was as though all of the worries that had accumulated within YN’s veins dissipated the second he said those words, and she almost felt a sense of relief. Her body dropped backwards, relishing the feeling of Harry’s body against hers. Harry’s eyes found YN’s again, and all it took was one nod of YN’s head his hands moved to the tie of her nightgown. With a quick pull of the bow, the material grew loose around her body. As Harry moved to pull the material from his body, his fingers grazed the skin of her stomach and whilst she tried not to wince she found it difficult not to do so.

“You are beautiful,” Harry pulled the material so it fell from her body, exposing her to him, “And if you think I do not, that I cannot desire you just the way that you are you are sorely mistaken.”

YN exhaled a breath, “You do not have to lie.”

“I am not lying,” Harry’s words are soft but stern – as though he is truly attempting to make sure she sees herself the way that he does, “Your breasts, YN if I did not already think they were magnificent then seeing what they can do to feed our son, that would have sealed the deal for me.”

YN gasped as his hands planted themselves upon her breasts. The touch was light, but it was enough for YN’s body to reel. Her breasts were more tender than they had been before, and Harry seemed to know just that. His feather-light touch moved from the expanse of her breasts downwards towards her stomach, where they wrapped around her body once more.

“I do know how anybody would find the place that kept their child safe undesirable,” Harry whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to the skin of her neck, “It may not look the same, but who is to care? I love you and every part of you, and I always will. Nothing could stop me from such.”

YN sighed, watching Harry’s eyes in the mirror move down her body. That look, the want and dare she say desire that his eyes held made her prior thoughts almost laughable. She could not believe that she ever allowed herself to think such things. It was then that his touch continued, moving further and further down until it slipped between her thighs. YN gasped, unable to take her eyes away from the scene unravelling in the mirror before her.

“I gave you your space, as I wished for you to recover,” Harry mumbled, his teeth skimming the skin on her neck ever so lightly, “But if you think that I did not wish, did not dream of the moment that I was allowed to see you in such a state again you are truly mistaken. I missed every part of this, of seeing you, of feeling you.”

YN gasped when his finger slipped between her folds, finding its place where she needed it the most. Harry loved to tease her, especially in the bedroom and yet today there was none of that. He was worshipping her. He was worshipping every part of her body and proving to her that what he had said had not been a lie, no matter how much her mind had tried to convince her of such.

His finger began to circle her clit, gently before continuing down. YN gasped out, reaching to grasp his arm as he pushed his finger inside of her.

Of course, she had missed Harry in this way. It was as though once she had been given a taste, it was hard to go without it for so long. But, as Harry continued to work his fingers inside of her, the palm of his hand rubbing against her clit with every movement – she was shocked at how long it had truly been since she had felt this way, how long it had been since they had been with each other in this way.

“Harry,” She gasped once more, her nails digging into his arm. The thin material of his shirt did little to stop the feeling.

“I know, I know,” Harry nodded, nudging her head with his slightly so that she turned to him.

It was immediately that his lips found hers with such a force. YN whined slightly into his mouth as he removed his fingers from her, but it was not for long. Harry placed his hands on the small of her, spinning her around quickly. YN’s fingers found their rightful place in the hair at the nape of Harry’s neck, tugging slightly as he moved his hands down to the back of her thighs. He parted them, and with a quick tap, she knew what to do. She jumped up, wrapping her legs around Harry’s waist.

Their lips never parted as Harry skilfully carried her towards the bed. She landed on the bed with a slight thud, causing a giggle to emit from her lips. Harry’s gaze never left hers as he pulled his shirt open, and she was pretty sure that buttons went flying off in every direction of the room but at this point, she did not care. His trousers were next, and YN’s teeth sunk into her lip. If she needed one last reason to believe that he still desired her, he was giving it to her right now.

“Come here,” YN mumbled, spreading her legs slightly in hopes of inviting him to her, “No teasing tonight.”

“I have no idea what you mean,” Harry jested, with a raise of his eyebrow – but he still obliged her request, “I promise I will not.”

YN smiled. Harry’s hands rested by her head on the mattress, and YN rested hers on his shoulders. He gave her one last look, and the second that she nodded her head he pushed inside of her. YN gasped, pushing her body forward to connect her lips to his again. His thrusts were slow and gentle, as if not to hurt her but the second that she moved her hands down from his shoulders, and along his spine until they reached the curve of his bum, they began to speed up. YN moaned into Harry’s mouth, her nails digging into his peachy flesh.

Harry groaned into her mouth, a smile toying on his lips. As his hips started to move quicker, and hers joined him – all she could feel was him. All she could feel was his touch, his body, his love. It was all-possessing, and YN would not change it for the world.

“Harry… I’m –” YN gasped, pulling away from his lips to throw her head back in response to the pleasure he was causing her.

Once her eyes had closed, and his hips continued at their fast pace she had truly lost himself to him. At this point, there was no return for her. In a state where she did not feel truly like herself, Harry had pulled her immediately out of that. Harry watched her parted lips, her closed eyes, and her heaving chest.

She was beautiful to him and there would never, ever be a point that she was not.

“It is okay,” Harry dropped his head down so he could kiss her neck, and mumbled his words of encouragement into his ear, “It is okay, I promise you.”

YN gasped once more, her hands moving back towards his shoulders. She was sure that her nails were digging the ever-prominent crescent moons into his skin, but neither of them seemed to care at all. When she tightened around him, he groaned into her neck. It was as though neither of them could hold back on the pleasure that the other was giving, and it was enough for them.

It was as though once YN’s orgasm washed over her, Harry’s came soon after. They were always together, coaxing each other through the feeling – neither one of them moving too quickly without the other. It reminded her that whatever she needed, he was always there to help her and move her along. Whenever she tumbled, he was there to catch her.

This was love. This was the love that they deserved from one another, with one another.

Harry collapsed on top of her, moving to the side ever so gently to not squash her, but they still stayed as close to one another as they possibly could. YN smiled and accepted the light kiss that Harry placed on her lips.

“If you ever feel this way again, I want you to tell me,” Harry spoke, lifting his hand to run against her cheek lightly, “I do not want you to suffer in silence ever again.”

YN nodded lightly, “I will not.”

“I need you to promise me, YN,” Harry’s eyes were laced with concern for her now, “I love you.”

“I promise,” YN nodded, pressing another light kiss to his lips, “I love you.”  

[milkymora]

✧ MCL (hsl) flirts - boyfriend headcanons ✧

~ NOTE: here are some hdcs about our favorite (highschool) boys as boyfriends! as usual all pictures used aren’t mine, ct to the owners on pinterest. all headcanons are SFW. reblogs are super appreciated (≧ヮ≦)

ꞝ Castiel.

his biggest love language is touch. he will not take his hands off of you, holding your hands when you take walks, resting his chin on your head, and so much more.

asked you once if you’d like to dye his hair, you did, and since then you’re his monthly hair dyer (and stylist, at times) appointment.

his cooking skills aren’t the best, he just learnt the basics to eat simple meals, that don’t taste like much. that’s why when you learnt how to cook his favorite meals he felt so spoiled and honored. he’s very humble (and is always trying to reciprocate, however he can).

ꞝ Nathaniel.

will share anything with you. something happens? you’re the first person who knows. he will literally tell you anything that bothers him or any thoughts he has. he trusts you so much.

he remembers every little thing about you. he will buy your favorite snacks and leave them on your bag whenever you guys have an argument, along with some flowers and a piece of paper with apologies.

will give you his hoodies without you asking. he loves seeing you wear them.

ꞝ Lysander.

if you call at 3am because you need to talk to him, he will always pick up. and if you wanna see him, say no more, he will be at your door as soon as possible.

the best times with him are summer nights, where you guys stay up until late talking about everything that crosses your minds. he’s the best when it comes to conversations and is always ready to go into important topics with sensitivity & care, but most importantly, maturity.

has a small diary dedicated to you. writes his poems for you, vents when you guys argue & take notes of your favorite things in there.

ꞝ Armin.

he will give you all his accounts passwords, let you use his phone, pc & tech stuff whenever you want. what’s his, is yours.

if he sees something that reminds him of you, he will buy it. a small keychain? a plushie? a cd of your favorite singer/band? he’ll keep it in his room and look at it whenever he misses you.

loves having you at his house. could be just chilling, him doing his thing and you doing yours, he just wants your presence near him, it makes him feel good.

ꞝ Kentin.

keeps his hand on your thigh everytime he’s driving. he’s also very jealous and will often keep it there even if you guys are sitting in a public space.

he really loves it when you put make up on him, or just doing skin care. it relaxes him so much and feels so pampered.

your biggest supporter. will support your ideas and will always hype you and your projects up. he has so much respect for you and value your opinions more than anyone else.

✧ check out the boys’ general headcanons here !

~ thank u so much for reading friendsss. hope you liked these & i really hope i’ll see u around!! sending lots of love and wishing y’all a good day/night :)