#but also idc about them elves

[maegalkarven]

Probably unpopular opinion, but The Ranger Achieves series is better than The Echoes saga.

Idc about all these elves and mages and young greycoats falling in love with elves, and the plot, and evil elf rising, and the other evil elf serving the Main Evil elf scheming in the Nightfall-

I just care about Asher and whatever fuckery is going on with him at the moment.

[irenesweirdpinkstaff]

guys viren and karim parallels guys listen please

[shorthaltsjester]

listen. unless a character explicitly states that a difference in lifespan between them and someone they care about is a concern of their’s, lifespan angst is the most boring and meaningless trope you can add to a fic/fan work. like, yes it is sad to lose someone but that is not because of a difference in lifespan. an elf with 1000+ year life expectancy might die tomorrow, a goliath might live longer than expected. it feels extremely reductive to look at characters with different fantasy races and decide that the biggest concern is that one will outlive the other when those characters have expressed no concern about either outliving or leaving their loved ones behind. like, i get the fear of death and trying to understand that through fictional characters but just do it with the ones who have expressed an actual concern with it, not with characters who seem delighted to get to love someone at all, even if it is brief and mortal. we don’t love people because we think it will be forever, and it hurts when the impermanence of the people we love becomes clear. but if i spent as much time factoring together matters of health and life expectancy for the people i love to try to predict when they’ll die so that i’ll be ready to lose them, i would have a lot less time to love them and it will still hurt just as much when they are no longer around.

[dinsbeskar]

Shelter in the Storm (Sauron/F!Reader)

Journeys end in lovers meeting

But what happens when you keep meeting, and leaving, and meeting, and...

Sequel to And In The Darkness Bind Them // AO3 Link

Soundtrack: De Selby Part 2 by Hozier, Judas by Lady Gaga, Harder to Breathe by Maroon 5, Persephone by Tamino

A/N: Post S2, we are in Rivendell (idk when it comes about in the RoP timeline but I've built it now idc) and we're moping after our crazy breakup at the end of S2. We're also doing some LOTR too, idk guys ✌️ Man is down bad and so are you. Girl, run, he is evil!!! Girl!!! ...okay babe you do you (and him)

Warnings: 18+ only!! YEARNING AGAIN, smut, angst, toxic relationship shenanigans, mutual obsession, dream sex, P in V sex, creampie (that our man then cleans up for you, you're welcome lmao - have i ever told you guys how deranged this guy makes me? This is me reining it in, fyi lmao), oral sex (female receiving), so much yearning

Word Count: 5k!!

The haven of Imladris becomes a shelter for your people, one that you have worked so hard for, but one you don't feel as if you have earned, nor could you ever.

Walking away from Sauron was the most torturous thing you'd ever had to do, but it was done. His parting gift lies on a chain around your neck, a glimmering gold ring that whispers to you in the dark of the night.

But you cannot put it on; you cannot bear the idea of sullying the light of your wedding ring with his twisted mockery. Despite its palpable dark power, it is beautiful, and it calls to you, his voice in the air that sends shivers down your spine even now.

You take it out from beneath your bodice, twirling it in your fingers. You find yourself doing it more and more often lately, and frequently more absentmindedly.

"Deep in thought, even at this hour." Elrond's voice interrupts your brooding, and you hasten to clasp the ring between your fingers, hiding it in the thick pages of the book you have been pretending to read.

No one tends to visit the library at this hour, especially the tiny nook you've made for yourself at the back of the shelves near a large window overlooking the valley. Dust motes glimmer in the rays of the setting sun, and you can hear the merriment of your fellow elves at dinner, song floating in through the window. So while happy to see him, you are surprised.

"There is much to think about, dear friend."

He nods, gesturing to the seat beside you.

"Of course, sit." You smile at him, glad for the company, eager to forget your broken heart for a moment.

"You've been distracted of late. We've all noticed, but-"

"But there is nothing one can say to absolve me." Your eyes prick with tears, but you refuse to let another fall out of spite for your lord husband.

"It is not that." Elrond takes a breath, pondering his next words carefully.

"We care for you, we always have, and we do understand." He grasps your hand to comfort you; it takes everything in you not to pull away.

"We are here for you. I know your guilt weighs heavily, but let us take the burden from your shoulders. It is not your fault."

You are very tempted to let yourself crumble, to sob into his embrace as you weigh up all the sins for which you feel responsible, for which he is trying to absolve you.

"I doubt very much everyone feels the same way." You do not need to imagine the wrath of your people, the pointed stares, the whispers when they think you cannot hear, avoiding your presence at all costs.

And you have been so wrapped up in your grief that you have let it all wash over you. But the longer you are ostracised, the greater the ache in your heart.

"Does it matter? They will come round, you have already done so much to help us rebuild."

That is no understatement. After healing the wounded and burying the dead, you had thrown yourself into protecting the valley in which you made your home. Songs and spells that your husband had helped you create, no less, with the power of your people and their rings, had created a safe haven for your kin to regroup and rebuild after losing Eregion.

"I was so blind, my friend. Wilfully ignorant to what I knew he could be, what he was. Everything that he did, I let him do it." You take a deep breath, holding up a hand to prevent Elrond interrupting you as he so clearly wants to do, comforting words on the tip of his tongue.

"I will never cease to feel guilty, and I don't know if it's possible to move on, feeling the way I do." You meet his gaze, knowing that the unspoken crushing weight of your burden is something he knows all too well, feeling equally responsible for the downfall of Eregion as you.

"But move on, we must." He takes your hand with a comforting smile.

The simplest of advice is often the greatest, Celebrimbor once told you. You briefly muse on his words as Elrond's wisdom takes root.

"We learn from our mistakes, and we move on. It is all we can do." He squeezes your hand one last time, before standing to leave. "It would be a pleasure to welcome you back to us, my lady."

You nod, forcing a weak smile, your fists clenching in your dress where he cannot see.

Once the door is closed, you lean back and sob, the ring at your breast whispering loud in your ear.

Perhaps to move forward, you should try wearing it. Just once. Two steps forward, one back, perhaps, but still one step forward.

Before you can think, the ring is on your finger.

An overwhelming sense of peace and clarity consumes you, the world at once feeling lighter, and you realise how difficult each breath had been before you put it on.

For the first time in a long time, you feel like yourself. The grey clouds of your stupor clear, blue skies and the gentle breeze of hope lifts your spirits for the first time in months.

Tears begin to pour down your face, not out of sorrow, but pure relief. Hot wet streams of catharsis cascade down your cheeks, and you feel lighter than you have in years.

"Curse you, you wretched creature, for ruining me like this. For twisting and melting us into one. A wicked alloy of light and dark." He cannot hear you, but you curse him anyway.

With each tear you feel the darkness lift, so you sit and allow yourself to cry.

When you next open your eyes, the room is dark, the candles have all burnt out, and the crescent moon casts a dim glow through the open window.

You go to pick up your book from the floor, dropped when you had fallen asleep, when you notice the warmth of someone beside you.

You look round, expecting to see someone trying to rouse you, expecting anyone but the ethereal vision of your husband, his hand on your thigh, pressing close with an affectionate smile as he realises you know he is there.

You jump out of your skin and go to stand, but his iron grip keeps you in place, even as he regards you with a smile so tender you can almost forget why you are estranged.

"You cannot be here."

He cocks his head slightly, looking at you as if you've grown another head.

"Of course I am here. You called for me and I came. I will always come for you." He traces your hand, then lifts it to the dim moonlight as if to remind you of his golden gift.

"The ring..." You breathe shakily, angry with yourself that you didn't realise that of course it was no mere trinket.

"I told you, my love, they are a pair," he holds up his own hand, showcasing his own gold ring. "They work best together, like their masters."

"Don't. Don't do that." You pull away from him, or try to, as he keeps a steadfast hold on your hand.

"Don't do what, darling? Remind you of what you're missing with me? The power we could share, the realms we will rule," he leans down to whisper in your ear, "the love we endure."

As tempting as that sounds, you fix him with a glare.

"That was always your problem, my love."

He has the audacity to look confused, so you elaborate.

"Your quest for power will always come before us. Before me. And I cannot fight you forever over that, it is who you are. But I cannot stand at your side while you seek to dominate Middle Earth, no matter my love for you."

"So you do still love me?"

"You're impossible!" You shake your head, wrenching yourself from his grip and standing finally, moving as far away as you can.

"After everything I have said, that is what you cling to? I tell you I cannot follow you and that is your response?" Your voice shakes like your resolve, but you press on.

"I love you. Of course I do. But that does not mean I will blindly follow you to ruin. I cannot."

His face begins to fall, his eyes growing dark, your words sinking in for once.

"Sauron-"

"Don't call me that." He is visibly crushed, the name he detests falling so freely from your lips.

"Do not-" you press your lips to his; you cannot hear his silver tongue again, cannot open yourself to the possibility of his victory over your heart.

At least that is what you tell yourself, as you find yourself aching to be close to him again, heart yearning for his presence, his touch, his soul near yours once more.

He runs his hands up your back, digging his fingers into your spine as if to anchor you to him, unwilling to let you go again. He offers no resistance to your charms, utterly spellbound even now as you kiss him to shut him up.

You have to pull away, your chest fit to burst at the separation.

"It is your name. And I must use it. I can't let myself believe you again, my love. I can't."

For once he lets you speak, but he is itching to have his say, you can see him fidgeting, words on the tip of his tongue.

"You think I use the name you hate as a sword against you? Meant to wound you, to cut you deeply? No. It is a shield. A reminder of who you are, so I don't let you in again."

Your heart hurts, splintering with each word.

He feels the same, the anguish in your soul mirrored in his, like a flaming knife between the ribs.

He pulls you to him, resting his chin on the top of your head. The urge to sit and relish in him is so strong, and he holds you so surely that he must feel the same but alas.

"I love you, Sauron. Shadow of Morgoth. But I have to let you go."

His eyes widen, and he reaches out for your hand, but it is too late.

You wrench the ring from your finger and he is gone.

You wake with a start, gasping for breath, the ring on its chain in your hand.

Throwing the ring back around your neck, you breathe a deep sigh of relief at your victory, but the catharsis you felt while wearing your ring beckons again.

Torn between the peace you had with him and the peace you know you're fighting for without him, the temptation to use the ring ebbs and flows, but never falters completely.

It is a burden you must bear alone, for you cannot tell the others that the ring you bear is a direct line to the enemy himself.

~

For centuries you wander Middle Earth, attempting to heal some of that which your husband has destroyed.

The more magic you expend, the more you seem to have at your disposal, which would be a good thing, but it calls him to you.

Even without the ring, he walks in your dreams. Well, admittedly there isn't much walking involved.

Your apartments in Eregion are his favourite place to see you, with blankets and cushions nestling you close to him, making you both so cosy; how could you want to leave him here alone?

"Will you not come to me?" He murmurs, breaking your reverie.

You can't help the exasperated sigh that escapes you, but you remain clung to his side, your fingers entwined in the hair on his chest, the scent of iron and smoke intoxicating you even as you dream.

"I have to ask." He chuckles, stroking your hair.

"Yet you know my answer."

He pulls you tighter then, never once losing hope that his will would prove stronger in the end.

~

There is no such thing as chance meetings, as your husband used to say, and you take it as a sign your fate was on the turn.

You hadn't been to Rivendell in many a year, your wanderings through Middle Earth taking you far from any civilised lands, searching for peace and purpose.

So when you hear that a ring had been found, and not just any ring, your stomach drops. But you need to see it.

"Elrond, please, allow me just one glance-"

"You know how dangerous that would be, we cannot risk the whole world knowing we have the weapon of the enemy in Imladris."

"It's not the whole world, it's me!" You huff an exasperated sigh. "You can trust me, you always have!"

He turns and avoids your gaze, reaching for the balustrade to look out over the valley, resting wearily on the white stone.

"Elrond..." You gingerly reach out for his shoulder; he doesn't pull away which you take as a victory.

"I have to see it. I have to know if it's his."

He pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing.

"Very well." He pauses, seemingly in thought. "Come to the council. Perhaps your input might be helpful after all."

The moment you lay eyes on the ring, you know it is his.

Its fine craftsmanship would easily give it away, if not for its heavy aura and sheer magnetism. You can’t look away, even as your stomach drops and your heart races, guilt consuming you once more.

Raised voices fade to white noise, his whispers in your ear, the unmistakable scent of salt and iron on the breeze.

"I will take it!"

A small voice shakes you from your reverie, as you take in the hobbit who has so bravely volunteered for a trial that many of stouter heart would have refused.

And you volunteer immediately to accompany him.

Whether it is to deliver your husband the justice he deserves, or to assuage your guilt, it might be a fool's errand all the same. But you figure you should see it through.

~

"I'll take first watch." You mutter, regarding the rest of the company as they begin to bed down for the night.

"You'll do no such thing." Aragorn's hand on your shoulder startles you, but his voice is calm and warm, reminding you of someone, a long time ago.

"I'm fine-"

"You've taken watch for two nights now, get some rest. We need you at your best." He gives you a warm smile, clapping your shoulder before turning back to the burgeoning campfire.

You give him a wan smile in return, but worry gnaws at your very bones.

You haven't slept in nigh on a week. You no longer need your ring to call him to you; the closer you are to the Ring, the more Sauron appears to you in your dreams.

He always enjoyed doing so, and you never used to mind. Even over the past age, when he did so, you were slow to eject him from your mind, guiltily enjoying his presence even from afar.

But now it would be far too risky, far too dangerous, to allow him inside your head.

The others fall into a deep slumber almost immediately, the journey taking its toll.

But you remain awake, upright, pinching your bare skin to stay awake.

Elvenkind do not need to sleep quite as often as other races, but it catches up eventually.

"Sweet wife." His murmur in your ear sends a chill down your spine; you'd be lying if you said it was one of terror not arousal.

"Husband." You whisper to the dark, not daring to look round.

"No need to whisper, darling, they can't hear us here."

Strong arms enfold you in a warm embrace that you're powerless to resist as you melt against him, your back to his torso.

"You can't be here." You murmur, entwining your hands with his.

"And yet..." You feel his nose in your hair, feel him draw you closer, kisses on your neck.

You can't help but moan, long years of being starved of his touch taking their toll, and your sleep-deprived consciousness is in no fit state to resist his charms.

"You haven't been sleeping." He remarks, tracing your knuckles and relishing the feeling of you in his arms once more, even if it is only in dreaming.

"You noticed." Your quip falls flat as he growls in your ear.

"Avoiding me, love?"

"I wish I didn't have to." You rest your head back against him, letting yourself give in, just for a moment.

"You don't. Join me, come to me, be with me-"

"Don't. Don't spoil this." This perfect moment, even as you plot his downfall, you would crystallise it and keep it forever.

He grumbles a little but eventually hums in assent, seemingly placated by you allowing him to stay.

You just need to rest, perhaps a good night's sleep will refresh you enough to keep him at bay later.

At least, that is the excuse you use when you find his hands wandering, his lips tracing your skin, peeling every inch of clothing from you.

Your breath hitches as he frees your breasts from their confines, enjoying his hands roaming so freely across your body as he takes his fill.

He works slowly down to between your thighs, and a fleeting thought of resistance crosses your mind before vanishing in the lust that clouds your judgement.

You can feel his hard length pressing against the small of your back, aching and needy for you even in this psychic realm.

His lips on your neck peck softly at first, before beginning to lick and suck more insistently. The sound of his lust in your ear drives you wild, and you shuffle out of his grasp to turn and face him.

He's gorgeous. Of course he is. He can't appear in any fair form now, but since he isn't here physically, he can take any form he wishes in your mind.

"I always liked this face." You chuckle, running your fingers down his jaw.

"I know, my darling."

Now that you're facing him, straddling his lap, he wants to do nothing but stare at your face.

Memory is no substitute for the real thing, and every time he looks on you, you're more beautiful than he dared recall; it leaves him breathless.

You feel tears prick at your eyes, and his hands are already at your cheeks ready to catch them when they fall.

"I miss you." You whisper, closing your eyes and kissing him so sweetly, so softly, he fears he might melt.

He answers with a moan, his love and lust for you pulling at his heart and soul. His hard cock is wet with precum, that makes your hand glide so much more easily over it as you stroke him to distraction.

"No, no, inside-" he stutters and groans, delicious noises that make your clit throb.

You kiss him hard and lower yourself onto him, hissing at the slight burn of him filling you so completely. But before long, you're rocking on his hips, hands on his shoulders to steady yourself, savouring the exquisite fullness between your thighs, his mouth on yours, his hands palming your breasts.

Your souls pull toward each other, uncontrollably and without limit, and your hearts sing a harmony that no two others could ever hear.

He grasps your hips and pulls you down on his length, twitching inside you as he fills you, wasting not a single drop.

You gasp at the sensation, his hot seed on the brink of dripping out of you as he rides his orgasm, looking up at you as if you were the most divine thing he'd ever beheld, chanting your name like a prayer.

You slow your pace, riding him, focusing on milking his cock, draining every drop.

When he is finally sated, he slips out of you and turns you over, letting you rest your aching thighs, parting your legs wide to take in your cunt, quivering and full of his seed.

He smiles wide, his eyes heavy-lidded with desire.

"Look at the mess we made. That desperate messy cunt, my love, how perfect you are."

His words shouldn't make you feel the way they do, surely, but the fresh wave of arousal that pools at your core says otherwise.

"My good girl, so perfect for me... let me take care of you, darling."

His tongue between your thighs sends your heart pounding, as he delves deep into your entrance.

He feels so good, but it's the depravity of his desperation for you, that he'd paint you with his seed then delight in licking every trace from your skin, just to get a sweet taste of you, that's what sends you over the edge.

Your grip on his hair tightens as your peak crashes over you, pulling him closer to you, wrapping your thighs around his head-

-you blink and he's gone. You wake gasping for breath as multiple hands shake you from your slumber.

"My lady?" It is Aragorn who speaks first, the rest appearing shaken.

"What happened?" You mutter, still not quite back with them, clinging to the feeling of Sauron encompassing you.

"You were thrashing, shaking, we were worried for you." He and Gandalf exchange a look that you can't quite interpret.

"I'm fine. Nightmares, nothing new." You try to smile but the feeling of them all staring at you is perturbing to say the least.

"Go on, back to bed, I'm fine."

You go to stand but Gandalf puts his staff on your shoulder in warning. You look up at him quizzically, but he shakes his head.

When the rest have settled, he motions for you to follow him, a little away from the camp to talk undisturbed.

You stand waiting for him to speak, but he simply regards you from under his bushy brows, pulling out his pipe.

"Everything alright?" You eventually have to break the silence, the tension killing you.

After a long pause, still regarding you as he cleans out his pipe, he speaks.

"I was hoping you would tell me."

He stops fiddling and locks his gaze with yours.

"Amarië, if there is something we need to know-"

"There's nothing." You interrupt him before he can insinuate anything close to the truth.

"Are you quite sure? Because-" he lights the pipe, the embers glowing ominously to illuminate his face- "He was here."

Sweat breaks out on your skin but you hope he won't notice.

"I don't know what you mean, Mithrandir, I think I would know if-"

"You would. That's why I'm asking you."

You look anywhere but at the wizard currently boring a hole in your skull with his gaze. You can't tell them, they can't know.

"I have Him under control."

You're not sure why you said that, but Gandalf seems anything but reassured.

"Under control? So He was here. Do I need to worry about you, my lady?"

You shake your head slowly, reminding yourself why you're here. The torment Sauron has inflicted, the lives he has taken, not to mention his countless betrayals.

"Our souls are bound, you know that. Where I am, he is sure to follow. But he knows nothing of Frodo and the Ring, I can assure you. I would tell you."

You make no mention of the ring hidden next to your heart. They wouldn't understand.

His eye twitches as he contemplates your words.

"How long? How long have you been seeing him?"

"That was a good guess." You give a derisive snort, shaking your head and laughing slightly.

Apparently subterfuge is definitely more your husband's game.

"A while. But I figure if I distract him, we can focus on getting to Mordor undetected."

He gives a small "harrumph" in response, with a disapproving look that makes your toes curl, and not in a good way.

"I am sorry, Mithrandir. But I promise, I want the same as you. To see him answer for his crimes."

His face softens and he claps your shoulder with a wrinkled hand but firm grip.

"Go to bed. Tell me if you have anything to report."

A spy for the peoples of Middle Earth, you would never have thought it.

Meanwhile, a guttural scream of frustration renders all the orcs in Barad-dûr paralysed in terror, as your husband is ripped from your mind. He can still feel you beneath his fingers, taste you on his tongue, his soul grasping for you as he clings to the memory of your soft smile, the one you reserve only for him.

~

Racing through the mines, chased by a league of goblins, this wasn't how you hoped the passage through Moria would end.

"With the ring, his servants would respond to me as if to him, I can send him back to the shadow!"

"No!" Gandalf cries, grasping your shoulder and holding you back. "You risk the fate of the quest if you invoke his power, do not be tempted now."

"But I can help-"

"You will fight another day. Go! Take them to safety, they will need your wisdom now."

His words tell you to be strong, but his expression betrays his fear. Without another word, you turn and run, ushering the hobbits toward the bridge with a cry, willing your old friend safe passage.

"Fly, you fools." And with that, he is gone, passed beyond your sight. You think to use your ring, to see him in the next world before he passes over, the band inches from your finger-

-but your arm is wrenched almost out of its socket as Aragorn pushes you down the winding stairs out of the dead mines.

Everyone collapses in grief on the rocky outcrop outside Moria, dissolving into great sobs as they mourn their fallen mentor. You can only watch on, no more tears left to cry, as you vow this loss will be avenged.

If Sauron is listening, you speak directly to him, that his folly was choosing you as his bride, for you would not rest until you had returned him to the darkness from whence he came.

~

Lothlórien is a place you should all find rest. But the prospect of staying with Galadriel, even after you'd passed an age apart, was nerve-wracking to say the least.

You can hear her whispers in the others' minds, but when she looks at you, it's as if you've turned to glass, her gaze passing straight through you.

"I will find no rest here."

You overhear Boromir telling Aragorn of Galadriel's message for him, think perhaps to comfort him. But Aragorn, as ever, does a far better job than you could ever.

One thing Boromir and you share, is the inability to find rest.

The stars blaze overhead, and the soft lament for Gandalf fades as the moon rises.

But you toss and turn, your mind racing and your body tense.

The ring at your breast is mercifully quiet, the power of Nenya keeping it at bay. And the silence is so heavy, the absence of your husband's voice in your ear so perturbing after centuries of listening to him beg for you.

You can't breathe, can think of nothing of hearing him again, your mind full of your own voice for the first time in years innumerable.

Rustling underfoot distracts you momentarily, but your thoughts turn back to the weight on your chest. What would happen if you were to slip on your ring in this sacred grove? Would he be able to find you? Or would her magic keep him out, to stalk the edges of the forest as he used to when he came to you as a beast in the night?

For one brief moment you feel his fingers on yours, and your breath hitches, panic setting in as you begin to sweat.

The mirror.

You jump to your feet and race down to find Galadriel standing over Frodo, the hobbit breathing hard, his terror palpable.

"I pass the test. I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel."

You pull Frodo to his feet, dusting him off and picking a leaf from his curly hair.

"Go get some rest, you need it." You try to sound reassuring, but you're not sure you wholly convince anyone.

As he departs, throwing a nervous glance behind him, you turn back to the golden-haired Elf who regards you silently.

"Was that a good idea?"

"The mirror merely showed him what he needed to see."

"And you? What was that? I have not felt such darkness in an age, Galadriel, what happened?"

She gives you a knowing smile, crossing the space between you silently, and taking your hand.

"It was a test. One you must take too."

You shake your head, panic once again threatening to overwhelm you. But the mirror beckons and perhaps you'll be wrong.

You stand over the basin, water swirling with visions of fallen cities, the atrocities that you've witnessed, the things that your husband needs to pay for.

His face swims in the water, his various forms rippling through visions of crumbling stone and blood and bone.

Your heart wrenches. How can it not? The other half of your soul, within your grasp, responsible for so much pain. How can you still yearn for him?

You see the black tower, you see his shadow pace within its walls, seeking you, ever searching.

Fire and ash and blood fill your vision as the tower crumbles and you're so torn. Your justice feels so empty, your heart rent in two, when a golden light fills your eyes and you hear a song you haven't heard in many an age.

"Will you tell me what you saw?" Her soft voice breaks the silence as your mind whirs, close to shattering.

"You know what I see. It is the same every time."

Long golden hair, an adoring smirk, the face of the man you called husband. Call husband, for all your sins.

[m4rs-ex3]

so naturally i was up at 1am the other night watching tdp related youtube videos and i figured i'd watch the 2020 comic con panel since it'd been a while and oh my god some of this shit

(also just me talking about how much i love this cast)

"IT IS I, DARK_MAGE_DAD420" i cannot believe that is real

aaravos: "if i want to do a screen call, i must perform a cosmic blood ritual. with a mortar and pestle. AND FLOATING KNIVES" you are fucking kidding me (edit: i realize that pertains to what he did in s2 but still like "cosmic" "ritual" "knives"? cmon)

jason simpson playing the ukulele. that's all.

jack: *talking about how he had a baby in quarantine* eric: i've been doing a lot of gardening... uh i haven't had a baby, but you never know! i mean if it's possible through social distancing aaron: if anybody can make that happen through social distancing it's aaravos you are F U C K I N G KIDDING ME

racquel: some fun things i did- i uhh died my own hair and burned my scalp and i would like to inform you all it's finally healed and we're good to go, i'm ready to do it again! i'm obsessed with the fact that racquel is quite literally claudia irl

the ttm read is awesome. jack came with the Rayla Voice fucking PREPARED oh my god

i don't think i've ever actually talked about the dnd sketch but it is one of my favorite things in the entire world

rayllum in this sketch is amazing particularly callum he is SO down bad like "my character is a mysterious elf assassin with two beautiful blades to match my two beautiful eyes~~ ✨" like hello that's canon idc if it's a sketch that is canon

"my character cannot help but look at her. he locks eyes with rayla's mage" "....there will be time for roleplaying later" HELLO THATS GOLD

viren in this skit is genuinely one of the funniest things i've ever seen. i cannot emphasize enough this is comedy

necromancer ezran. i think about him daily.

s: "i start swinging my sword at, uhh, idk, rayla's mage" r: "WAIT WHAT" c: "uh wait wait i take it back MY SWORDS GLEAM INTO THE LIGHT AS I LEAP TO THE DEFENCE OF THE BEAUTIFUL MAGE!" s: "hey no takebacks!" sibling ass fight i love them

"LIKE WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY DO?"

i rolled a 1 😐

i loot their corpses for blood >:D

"do elves have four toes?" "i always assumed that they would have 6 so they could learn how to count to 20" paula my love

someone get sasha some hamantaschen

i don't need arc 3 actually i just need the beta script including as many guns n roses references as possible

racquel: ok call me crazy, call me crazy... jesse: you're crazy, racquel racquel: THANK YOU FINALLY they are literally just them

"I WILL NOT BE POSTING A SINGLE THING ABOUT ICE, FOR I AM JULIA" (okay but.... venous frigoris anyone?)

paula: ugh, no one likes soren jesse: well no one likes rayla racquel: you two should fight 😈

long hard sigh

bonus: jason: literally no one likes viren so let's move on

"how old is bait?" "sasha, how old do you think bait is?" "3."

"is-is a glow toad kinda like a toad?" "................kind of"

i fucking love sasha have i ever mentioned that i fucking love sasha

"i think that he's 56." "either 3 or 56 only, apparently"

the saga announcement is great i love how everyone's is so excited they don't even know all of their characters are about to be destroyed physically and emotionally

the way aaron says it so fucking funny "is there gonna be a season 4?" "uh so i think it's really important to emphasize: yes-"

"i too want to cry" "just cry, just-" "IT'S A PANDEMIC. NO TEARS. THERE'S NO CRYING IN A PANDEMIC." "...where is this rule coming from?"

and finally there were a handful of moments that i could not do justice by transcribing in a post so here is a masterfully edited compilation i made

[mythals-whore]

Some of y’all have not read the Masked Empire and it shows. Every time Briala idealizes the ancient elves/the Dalish, the whole time Felassan is like:

“Oh the ancient elves? That’s so funny, they definitely also had a hierarchy.”

“yeah yeah the ancient elven empire, so cool…so who do you think the servants were??”

“yeah the elves, they were great….they used to enslave spirits, also”

The whole thing is that tyranny has always existed?? Its just that the elves used to do it to each other instead of like humans oppressing the elves. And Felassan actually tries to help Briala elevate the modern elves (help free them from tyranny. Which, you know, was the whole point of the original rebellion). And Solas doesn’t just get mad at this…he straight up kills him.

And no, idc that he doesn’t “want to” or that he was sad about it. He actually quite literally didn’t have to.

Anyone who wants to pretend Solas wasn’t always Like That…I’m just really confused by you. Its giving: “but he loves me, so idc how he treats anyone else” (his closest friend and confidant btw)

Idc idc i loved Masked Empire, it added much needed context. Felassan, my beloved, you didn’t deserve that.

[idkjustletmescroll]

WHY IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO GET THROUGH THE JANAYA WEDDING BECAUSE I WAS BUSY BAWLING:

SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-EZRAN AND AANYA REUNION!!!

-Also, thank god Amaya finally got around to telling ezran she was getting married.

-Corvus x sunfire elf duet!!! And humans and elves chilling together in general!

-Amaya looking all nervous for a second as she steps out ughhh she's so cute.

-Kind of random but I love that janai doesn't have her queenly hairstyle (the bun) and just leaves it down? Something something symbolism something she's not the queen right now she's just janai? Also, I just think she looks so pretty with her hair down (she's always gorgeous tho).

-JANAI WINKING. It's so cute. It reminds me of that video of prince harry at the altar with meghan markle telling her she looks beautiful or smth before they say their vows.

-KAZI AND GREN OFFICIATING AND BEING SO HAPPY FOR THEM???

-LIKE YOU CAN HEAR THE EXCITEMENT IN KAZI'S VOICE I CAN PICTURE THEM JUST JUMPING UP AND DOWN FOR JOY.

"When Amaya and i first met, we had our differences." "Specifically, we tried to kill each other." Yes, we know, Amaya, and from that point on we knew you were endgame.

-Love the detail that vows are a human thing, not an elf thing. Cultural details!!! We love to see it.

-Stupid clouds. But it's fine! Tbh when i first saw Kazi's face drop i thought it was going to sol regem coming to crash everything and I panicked and threw my phone down.

"Now, that's poetry!" Kazi never change.

-The audience cheering. I love how it's not just clapping, and you can hear people genuinely excited to be there and see it.

-Gren bawling poor guy.

-Why tf was karim there omg he needs to chillll.

-Ezran really said you are NOT interrupting my aunts' wedding rn on my watch.

"If anyone objects to this marriage...well, what are they going to do, show up with an army?" I would've laughed tbh idc.

-NOT THE VOWS JESUS CHRIST. I'm emotionally unstable.

-I love that amaya apparently went to gren and was like "YOUR JOB IS TO TALK FOR ME WTF DO I SAY" and he was just like "just tell her why you love her! Simple!" and she was like "BITCH-"

"But that's hard to do, because it changes all the time. Every day, I find something new, and my love for you keeps growing...our love will change, but it will endure." Paraphrasing ofc but i just loved it so much.

-Also janai started crying and it was like me too babes me too.

"AND IT WILL BRING MORE LOVE INTO THE WORLD AS IT DOES" yeppp something something humans and elves something something!!!

-Not kazi having to push gren away bc he was crying too much.

-Note about the kiss: I was OBSESSED with janai's hand when i rewatched it like 5 times? Like yes i'm a sucker for tender face touching but the way you can see her thumb stroking amaya's cheek and her hand going down to amaya's shoulder and--

-Also, in the background, the standing ovation! Again, I LOVE that people aren't just clapping, they're cheering and laughing and being all "yeah!" "woo-hoo!" and seem like they actually want to be there.

"HER WIFE!"

"QUEEN AMAYA!"

[whysojiminimnida]

Remember When I Said Taehyung Might Not Be As Gay As We Thought?

Don't judge a man by his milfy wardrobe, he looks goooood.

It was... awhile ago. Maybe as far back as 2021 although I do not feel like link-searching it. It's in the archives if I didn't kill it.

Granted, there was a lot going on, then. There's still a lot going on and until now I had no desire to ever - EVER - return to this hellsite. Because Taekookers are fucking weird, yo. And some of y'all got a lil bit up in my shit too as I (fuzzily) recall. Which: it's whatever. I'm extremely unsocial, don't even answer my own DMs. And it's not personal, so I get it. I don't need or want to defend myself, but I will protect people I care about. With my absence, if necessary.

OT: I also totally kicked the big C while I've been out so that was nice. Yoongi the cat is pleased that his noms will continue uninterrupted. I will be in wigs for at least another year. It's all good. Oh LOOK at what we have here. Don't come at me for publishing this, I will explain.

I got it from actual media days ago, okay, and also: there was no expectation of real privacy. Keep reading. Or don't, I'm not telling you what to do.

ANYWAY. I had to come back, mainly to say TAENNIE IS REAL I TOLD Y'ALL IDK WHY NOBODY EVER BELIEVES ME BUT HERE WE ARE. I'm gloating. Honestly, it's so rude, I'd apologize if I cared. But I am rude and snorfling into my cheerios about this. Tae just made me so damn happy, is all.

LET THE MAN BE BI OR HETEROFLEXIBLE OR EVEN STRAIGHT IDC. Jennie clearly makes him happy. Look at his "I'm going to Paris to see my girlfriend" face!

And in that very specific jewelry look, no less. Foundrae. Again. Still. Hm.

Here's what I can tell you based on my limited third hand no sources no receipts this is probably utter bullshit usual disclaimer: It's a soft open, kids. This whole "oopsie we just so happened to get caught taking a lil walk in public with our managers in tow during which date at least one of us signed several autographs, what a surprise" is in fact a soft open for what will likely be a public confirmation PRETTY DAMN SOON. It might happen before I get this thing published, actually, depending on when I get it up. If it's before May 22 at noon my time, no idea. If after, well. Guess we'll see. Jennie's supposed to show up at the screening of HBO's The Idol that day, screening at the Grand Lumiere at 10:30 CEST. One wonders if she will arrive alone, or bring a plus one. It's a big ask, and if he does it they're probably getting married, that's how big a deal it would be. So I'm not holding my breath, but.

This seems like a reasonable prospect for a plus-one viewing. Might not be the only one but... Jennie's IN IT so.

I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS GONNA HAPPEN. I think it would be a fucking POWER move if it did, but I also do not necessarily expect that it will. It COULD. It... MIGHT. It might not. Either way they're a thing, I'm telling you. They are, have been, a thing. For awhile. And it is apparently quite serious - like up to and including talk of engagement serious.

Remember when a bunch of folk thought that one gummy bear dude was going to jail for "hacking" Jennie's phone only there's been no actual movement on any "investigation"? Yeah. Trickle truthing, they call it. Give 'em a little bit, let them deny it and yell and chew on it for awhile before you give 'em a little more. But c'mon, nobody's wearing half the love-themed couple pieces at Foundrae for no damn reason.

Seriously they got the whole collection almost and both have been seen wearing them almost exclusively. For a year.See airport pic above.

Look, I don't have inside info on Taehyung. I do not. I ain't hang with his friends and I don't know him personally. Never met the guy. But I know a PR move when I see one and this is exactly that.

We all know how toxic stan culture can be. Some ToadlicKKers (and a few of us house elves) are certifiably bonkers, if stan twitter is anything to go by. And the guys, the company, they expect a whole meltdown. They know this is not gonna make half their fans happy. I mean the tkkers have a point in that it looks like they wanted to be seen. BECAUSE IT'S A SOFT OPEN. What Taejen/Taennie/Jenhyung and the companies also know is that based on historic shipper behavior, this is gonna come back on Jimin, Jungkook, maybe Rose' and Lisa. And by extension, the other members. Maybe not as much due to their respective distance, but still. I bet by the time I finish this it will have already started.

Oh look there it is. Fuck those bitches, really.

Good LORDT. I'm not adding the audio, if y'all are that hungry for psycho hose beast Jimin hate hie thee to stan twt.

But, totally off-topic kinda...

... wouldn't it be cool if Jennie, who speaks great English, was hanging out with Troye Sivan and was like "so you know my boyfriend tells me that his bffs..." I'M JUST SAYING NETWORKING IS COOL AND FRIENDS OF FRIENDS GET THINGS DONE OKAY.

You know that girl has the scoop. If Tae knows it, she knows it. Oh heeeeyyy Troye.

Also OT: I love that Taekook have been hanging out a little more lately. It's refreshing. I genuinely think having Jennie in his life has been good for Tae in several ways. And you know, I'm kinda surprised Taennie has lasted this long. I didn't honestly think they would. It warms my decrepit, sad old heart a bit. Turns out I have a lot more to say so IDK IDK, if I feel okay about it I might be back. Right now I'm just waiting for the official Taennie nod and the continued total meltdown.

[to-fall-or-not-to-fall]

there were SO many better ways to defeat sauron

number one just find a large dog and send arwen out to go do literally anything idc if sauron's "just an eye" and "thats incorrect anatomy" and "he's a maiar anyway who knows how their biology works" he would instantly go into cardiac arrest fight me

speaking of his being a maiar GUESS WHO ELSE IS A MAIAR GANDALF TALK TO UR COWORKERS GANDALF FFS IF MAIRON IS DEPRESSED AND CONSIDERING JOINING THE DARK SIDE U TELL HIM MORGOTH IS FULL OF POO AND GET HIM OUT OF THERE

also elrond wtf ur an elf well half-elf but close enough you can take a human even one straight from numenor literally just jump isildur and yeet the ring iNSTEAD OF STANDING THERE AND YELLING AT HIM TO MAGICALLY OVERCOME AN OBJECT SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED TO CORRUPT AND THROW IT IN THE LAVA OR ISILDUR IS ONE HUMAN AND YES I KNOW MURDER IS WRONG BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY OTHERS DIED BC YOU COULDNT GIVE HIM A LIL SHOVE go on count the dead in the siege of gondor the battle of the pelennor fields the hobbits killed in the scouring of the shire (indirect but if the ring had been destroyed that early saruman probably wouldnt have turned and started screwing with a bunch of hobbits)

do you see what we could have had

no necromancer to avoid for thorin and co

not having to go through mirkwood and wash up in laketown so no absurd amount of fanfare about the king of erebor returning

meaning no goblins getting wind of it

no elves either which would hopefully lessen the effects of the dragon-sickness

and the goblins would be less powerful without sauron's Vibes™ boosting them

so

thorin (and probably fili and kili) wouldnt have died!! most likely even if there had been a battle in the first place

but mostly thorin becaUSE THEN HE AND BILBO COULD HAVE GOTTEN MARRIED SHUT UP I CANT EVEN READ THE HOBBIT ANYMORE WITHOUT CRYING IVE READ TOO MUCH FLIPPIN BAGGINSHIELD

ok bye

[toastyghostieofthewoods]

my unraveled review

rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ because that's how much i enjoyed it idc if it was bad

let me start by saying that we were lied to. the fox buddy barely made an appearance. keefe just fed him a few times and left. the fox didn't even get a weird name.

cassius was annoying as ever. of course he would like cheetos. anyways i only hate him more now. you're telling me he destroyed keefe's art because he was jealous? he was right about churros though.

alvar is alive and well and was kidnapped by keefe then had his vanishing abilities healed and strengthened by him. i'm really concerned about what keefe's ability name will be because i don't think it can be good.

we also learned that unraveled is set in at the very earliest late 2022 based on the anti-hero shirt he bought, (midnights was released on october 21, 2022) possibly even later because of the lack of masks, unless shannon messenger has decided to ignore covid. now explain his awful outfit.

very important: keefe and alvar went to australia and got fooled by the locals about drop bears. that was amazing.

also, we made it guys! there were two confirmed lgbtq+ side characters in unraveled. unfortunately, they both had one scene each and weren't named. it's highly unlikely that they'll ever appear again. hopefully we'll get some gay elves soon (marellinh marellinh marellinh marellinh marellinh marellinh marellinh marellinh marellinh marellinh marellinh)

keefe has way better control over his commands now! he did have to put a pebble in his shoe to distract himself 😬

now onto the sokeefe kiss scene. keefe absolutely thought he was going to be rejected. he can't feel sophie's emotions well anymore, and he interpreted her anxiousness as feeling embarrassed about keefe's crush. it was short. it was silly. i don't really have an opinion about it.

keefe was kind of put in sophie's shoes in this book. he's the one feeling lost in a strange world now. he went to the forbidden cities to learn how to control his abilities and find out what gisela has to do with ethan benedict wright's and eleanor wright's murders. alvar helped him through it. keefe knows more about what he can do with his abilities and has much better control over them. and eleanor's alive. she wouldn't tell him much about gisela though. i think that was the meant to be the end of the murder mystery plot line, which is really disappointing. keefe's done now. he's done with gisela and cassius and the black swan. like he said, he's ready for the final showdown.

a list of the funniest things that happened in unraveled:

-cass lordeman

-drop bears

-alvar's burning love for pancakes

-keefe accidentally boarding a boat and getting very seasick

-"bring on the foster feels"

-keefe in disneyland

-keefe and alvar skincare session

-cassius' cheetos

-ritz crackers

-keefe thinks that sophie doesn't violate the rules of telepathy often

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

man im glad kabru put his sword down n acknowledged hes no good w monsters. He hurt himself so much trying to be a person hes not… dying over n over again… becoming so good at killing people in the service of that goal n it gets him no closer to it… and i dont think dungeon life is actually what he wants either… he had such a miserable time but i feel the people he met…was the journey. Maybe. I think theres something moving about him venturing out n meeting ppl from all walks of life.

And a life of many more…and i may be about to do a horrific misreading but i always thought part of the reason kabru got namari n toshiro to go w him instead of his own party was trying to keep em outta harms way esp rin. But in turn he cut himself off of his closest connections while interacting w ppl who bring up really bitter memories for him. Man kabru n rins relationship… they dont love each other in the same way but u can tell theyre always thinking of each other. Like interacting w the canaries is hard for him. But also on another level he may have taken them bc they do in fact live up to his idealized version of ppl who can effortlessly slay monsters n its something he knows he lacks. But idk if being good at slayin monsters particularly helped in the end of that situation tho it was good to have a few ppl good at it on retainer. Kinda bummed they cut out of a lot of kabrus interactions w namari and shuro bc i do find them interesting in the short moments they interact. Thats the b team (w mithrun acting as the antag of it so he flits in and out)

Like kabru has a moment of vulnerability in telling his own story to them honestly. It was hard for him. And if they cut out namaris genuine moment of unconditional kindness when she reaches out for kabru while everyones trampling over each other and hes having a ptsd moment ill be at their doors. I think it was a pretty vital moment in reminding him why he feels so strongly abt autonomy. I feel kabru very rarely gets acknowledged for his kindness often no string attached. N ppl are much quicker to note hes manipulative n a charmer but i think some of these moments he just likes listening to ppl some of whom have never been listened to in their lives…. Its sad how much kabrus willing to accommodate others n give em grace n yet he wont give it to himself : ( But also that those two were genuinely moved by his moment of vulnerability and even tho theyre mainly there for their frat bro allegiance towards laios where theyre like idc if he did that #freemyman, i do think what pushed them over the threshold is thinking about what he said about the elves trampling everyone and how they trampled over this delicate infrastructure ppl built for their livelihood . I like to think their lil turn everyone against the canaries was them pouring one out for him. Carry his dream on a little bit longer bc they dunno if he survived. I found it like aw. That all his like kabrus been trying to carry a mountain on his back, trying so hard to be a manipulative charming person to that end, but he can move ppl just as he is. By being open n vulnerable .

the last survivor of utaya… but is just surviving enough? Think its good he makes a new home in melani so that he can move onto the next part of his life while keeping every place hes ever been close. A dungeon that wiped out all life. A dungeon that created a new one

[cissyenthusiast010155]

Hello! Can you please do 60 with Narcissa and Lucius and Reader? With something along the lines of that reader is with Narcissa even though Lucius told her to stay in her room. So when she sneaks back into her room Lucius is there and "rapes" her for not listening. And after all of that happens and Lucius leaves her room to do idc Narcissa comes in and comforts her. Something along the lines of that if you can please?

Heyyyy anon! I’d love to write this; thanks for requesting it! I went in a darker direction with this one… I also included a song that I thought fit the vibe. I was thinking for it to perhaps have multiple parts…? (PSA: themes of sex trade, sex slavery, & sexual assault)

Nightmare Life ~Dark!Lucius xNarcissa Malfoy xFem Reader

Mommy…Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

#60. “You broke the rules…”

Warnings: NSFW, 18+!!!!, sex slavery, sexual assault, smut (not with Narcissa), angst, kissing, comfort fluff, etc…

Enjoy (:

Lucius had bought you from your job as a personal pleasurer. You didn’t really have a choice in the matter, as he had given your manager no true choice with the amount of money he had offered them for you.

You lived in the Malfoy mansion, in a secluded wing by where the house elves stayed. You hated it. You had come to work at your old job because you were a student with debts and you needed a job, and being a stripper worked well with your schedule. But you never wanted to be someone’s personal sex slave.

Especially not Lucius Malfoy’s…

But this was your reality now. You came whenever your master called and did what he told you. The only good thing about this was Master Malfoy’s wife, Mrs. Malfoy (although she insisted you call her Narcissa, which Master Malfoy hated.)

At nights, you were supposed to stay in your room. But you had been having horrendous nightmares of the weeks past. So you found yourself in the kitchen, sneaking around in your shaky manner and trying to make sone tea.

“Darling?” You heard a voice behind you gently speak.

You turned around, breath fleeting at the idea of having been caught…

“Are you alright?” Narcissa asked, having found you standing near the stove simply shaking.

Your lips trembled and a tear threatened to escape your eye, and you shook your head lightly, “Nightmares, again…” you whispered.

“Oh my Darling, come here…” Narcissa comforted you, bringing you into her warm embrace.

“Why don’t you come up to my room for a bit?” She offered.

Your breath hitched.

If you were caught, you didn’t even want to think about the consequences…

“It’s alright, Lucius won’t know, Darling… Please, let me take care of you…” she whispered into your ear.

“Alright…” you hesitantly whispered back.

~~~

Narcissa had spent hours with you, comforting you and listening to your vivid, horrific nightmares. You felt a lot better by the time the sun was starting to come up. But alas, you had to get back to your room before Master Malfoy noticed you were gone. So, you said your good byes to Narcissa and crept through the manor and back down to your room.

*

But as you got to your door, you found it was cracked open. Your mind started racing, you hadn’t left the door open when you left… You entered your room and your breath hitched at the sight of your Master standing firm in the center of the small bedroom, looking livid. You gulped and closed the door, looking down on the floor.

“I’m sorry, Master…” you whimpered, your whole body shaking again.

“You whore.” Lucius sneered, “You broke the rules… You went to go see my wife!!”

“I’m truly sorry, Master… please…” you whispered, a tear escaping your face.

“Shut up and strip.” She jeered.

“Yes master…” you choked out, not being able to avoid the inevitable and following his orders.

Lucius then grabbed you by your hair, elciciting a cry of pain from you, as he shoved you against the wall with your ass sticking out.

“Seems like the whore needs to be taught a lesson…” he sneered, as he parted your legs forcefully, while pushing the side of your face into the hard cement wall.

“Please master please I’m sorry…!” You cried out.

“Shut up bitch!” Lucius yelled, before undoing his belt and trousers.

Without warning, he rammed his cock into your tight hole. You cried out in pain, as he began to pound into you with no mercy. He didn’t stop until he had cum inside you, and then he pulled out of you swiftly, leaving you to collapse onto the floor. And as quick as he’d came, he’d gone. You laid on the floor silently sobbing. You couldn’t take much more of this…

*

~~~

You didn’t know how much time had past. How many hours you had spent cradling yourself on the cold, hard floor. But at one point, you heard a faint knock. When you didn’t answer, the door creaked open a smidge.

“Darling, it’s me…” Narcissa gently spoke, “Are you alright? May I come in?”

You croaked put a hoarse “yes…”, your throat tired from all your cries.

Narcissa came into the room and her heart dropped at the sight of you. She hated what her husband was doing. She thought it was morally wrong to own another human being. But who was going to stand up to such a man…

Narcissa rushed over to you and took you into her embrace. This triggered even more sobs from your lips. She swayed you back and forth in her arms whispering how sorry she was on repeat. After some time, you lifted your head and met the woman’s gaze.

Something overtook the both of you as your breaths hitched and your eyes locked. Slowly, the space in between your lips closed, until you were lightly tasting the blondes red lips. A slight moan escaped Narcissa’s throat, before she pulled away. You whimpered lightly at the loss of contact.

But you were too tired to even think about going even further. You hadn’t even properly processed what you’d just done. You simply snuggled back into her lap, drifting off into a nightmare-less sleep.

~~~

Anyone interest in a Part 2…?

[fumifooms]

Do you know about the Marchil h-doujin, just called "Marchil Meshi"? (Dunno wether you're comfortable about adult content regarding the ship. If not, sorry and feel free to ignore).

Imagine my surprise… When a few months ago, I was looking up places to buy doujins for dunmeshi online bc of that new-ish laimar (sfw) doujin and I find, many many nsfw ones bUT AMONGST THE HORDE… MARCHIL MESHI. I ate it up. It’s a lil iconic to me ngl, I quote it in my head sometimes. Marcille angrily gesturing always gets me cackling. It honestly has no business being this good, it was made pretty early on in the story so many years ago, and STILL! So in character, and honestly so funny, AND no weird business either. Like listen, I scour the internet, looking for any marchil content, any marchil content at all… And find a dry af desert, no life here, literally jackshit nothing. Only Pixiv has some afaik but the nsfw is def… Hm. 😔 (2 fics tagged chirumaru on there btw!! That aren’t mine lol) Thank you marchil meshi author if I had to pick 1 piece of marchil nsfw to exist I’d choose this one (honestly that’s already so close to reality lol) Thank u Asaki Takayuki I owe u my life. I like zines but I’ve never bought doujins before so it didn’t cross my mind, but dunmeshi is taking a lot of my first times in fandom engagement and I bought said laimar doujin just the other day hehe 

I do want to keep my blog generally sfw but yes I’m 100% cheering on nsfw marchil content from the shadows, glad that ao3’s finally getting some too. I hope that fic writer makes more… Tallman Chil is so so good but I hope they also do some more general premises, which the end notes on that one do make me hopeful 👀 I want more marchil writers in general. More marchil fanartists. Sfw nsfw idk I need to be fed 😭 (<- This post was drafted before that new marchil smut fic WOOHOO. So much new marchil content this week!!)

Oh while I’m here, I find this so funny/odd, but in japanese fandom ship names are simply the beginning of each name smushed together, like marchil or chilmar. The order of the names is that the first one is the "top"… Idk how jp fandoms live without switches but aight, but in m/f ships this means that typically the man is the first half of the ship name right. WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT marchil is so much more used than chilmar lmaoo. Even more stats: On Pixiv, the tag marchil had all the artworks, but the chilmar tag had all the fics. Ain’t that wack to think about. Anyways marchil or chilmar idc you go guys

Sighh thinking about them. They are so "I beg your pardon??!" "Then beg", "Fuck you!" "Fuck me yourself you coward"… Forget stamens and pistils, Chil is the cursed "You see, there are keys and there are locks…"

More under cut since I don’t get to talk about this often, screenshots and hcs for horny time

^ said panel that lives rent free in my head and makes me giggle. I wish I’d just put the whole page here it’s my fave but nahh go find it yourself

Why are they like this. Like what is thatttt

I need to stop collecting these I’m making myself feel insane (thank you fic writer for that last one I’d never noticed but omg)

Alright hc time what was I gonna talk about… Ah yes ah yes. I def think Chil is a pest, he’s horny and he wants sex and is flagrant about it, but also we know that he stayed faithful for 4 years without getting any, I feel like realistically the relationship sex wise would 100% be on Marcille’s pace. And this is the fun part, bc would Marcille be very eager? Would she want to do the romance book correct™️ route and that means no tapping until marriage, or he needs to court her all princely first? I hc that elves have a much lower libido than humans because of the whole long af lifespan thing, it’d be kinda funny if Marcille was like "Let’s take things slow… 🥺" aka first base achieved after two years of being together lol

But seee that’s the thing too bc Marcille is so afraid of loss she might rush through things as well, she very well could like, jump on him right after confessing. Is Chilchuck kind of a shithead or is he very gentlemanly and romantic, wanting to do it right and treat her well? They are such a blank canvas of sexual chemistry listen LISTENNN there are just so so many ways you can go with them they are so special. God the banter… They cannot stop bantering for a second I swear So many kinks they could fit… I like uhh praise kink for him and for her… Idk she just really loves him and the emotional adoration is what’s at the core of her enjoying it all so like, loving Chilchuck kink, which turns out those two really match together 🫶 He makes her sing and ummm um you see where this goes. They are so grossly in love and into each other

They are so domestic. I hate them

[ratatattouille]

Derry Girls in LOTR:

Orla: Wizard that shouldn’t have been a wizard but somehow is. Somehow gives even less helpful advice than Gandalf, and is twice as weird as Radagast. Radagast is her best friend, but Saruman is her favorite for some strange Orla-reason and she keeps stalking and startling him while he goes about his evil ways. When she gets bored of his tower, she goes on decade-long trips around Middle Earth. She is always amazed by Gandalf’s fireworks but can never replicate them without burning everyone and everything.

Michelle: Is OBVIOUSLY a dwarf! Specifically a Blacklock dwarf, with thick, billowing black hair and an equally thick and unkempt black beard. She is always talking about clubbing the heads off orcs despite having zero battle experience and threatens everyone as a formal greeting. She thinks all elves are racist, and all races that aren’t dwarves are inferior. Despite being very proud of her heritage, she is always getting names, details and dates mixed up to a comical degree. If anyone outside her line criticizes her facts, she verbally abuses them and their entire family. She describes Thorin Oakenshield as a “massive ride.”

Erin: An elf living in Rivendell that believes she’s super sophisticated, cultured and educated, but she’s really just fucking stupid. She says the most delusional things like “I think Elrond wants Legolas as a match for me” to her fellow elves and they feel both like they want to kill themselves and everything is funny when they’re around her. She makes them tired, but she also makes them laugh. They talk shit about her shitty art that isn’t getting better with years of practice for some confounded reason (although she writes good poetry, it’s just that she can’t recite it very well), but they will defend her honor and her life if threatened in a heartbeat because they love her as she loves them.

Clare: A hobbit. She’s a chubby, big-and-hairy-footed girl with the pinkest, roundest cheeks and the sunniest hair. Everyone in The Shire is in love with her idc. She’s of Took descent, and while very chipper and pretty, can also put you in your place so that you never imagine crawling out. People keep asking her when she’s going to accept any of the many proposals that are being dropped into her hobbit hole, but she can’t say that she spends her evenings eating cheese and improving prose and grammar of the letters so they sound more romantic. She dreams of adventure, but doesn’t think she has the guts for it. Until a wizard called Orla breaks into her home….

James: Smeegol.

[oars]

hiii I want to know more about appindex 👉👈

what is his relationship like with the other party members?

How easily does she trust other people?

If they are stressed or upset is there a thing/place/action that is comforting to him?

also anything else you want to share?

(I LOVE her design by the way, their appearance immediately caught my attention. Love your use of color too)

sorry this took me so long i swear when i saw this ask i started squealinf abd looking like this

gonna put it under a read more since um im gonna assume this will get really long lol

disclaimer im gonna straight spill my thoughts sorry if things stop making sense

i made a small comic just for the first question but tumblr doesnt like it for some reason and it prevents it from showing up unless you go directly to my blog :<

anyways i think overall appindex is like a mother of at least 6. companions come to them in the middle of the night like "i frew up :(" that typa thing

since family/clan n loyalty is very important to dragonborn and appindex just lost theirs before being abducted they are very quick to attach to these losers

i think while appin is not under the control of any god, lord, devil, etc they've created a personal hell of his own bc he tries to bear all responsibilities and burdens of those around him bc he's scared of failing and losing too much again. or all he has left really. that can make them kind of overbearing and it would be annoying if like the main companions didn't have issues and lowkey liked the attention.

what does get annoying is that it comes off as appindex not trusting their companions to do any heavy lifting but that improves in like act 2-3 especially since that's around the part the tav is expected to save baldurs gate. and the world like that's way too much weight for appin to carry on their own without breaking so atp they don't really have a choice but to let their companions share some of that albeit verrrry reluctantly

slightly more specific relations ---

shadowheart: shart is the first appin gets close to even if shes older i like to think she's like a little sister to appindex anyways <3 i should just show screenshots of the epilogue conversation bc it feels so fitting. probably one of the only companions to recognize appin's exhaustion and nag her

karlach: close in a years long tumblr mutual type intimacy way. "i'd let my mutuals come inside idc" type relationship. they occasionally sleep and cuddle naked. as good friends do. it's nice having someone they could rely on for literal heavy lifting and hitting bc in appin's eyes the rest of his companions are made of sticks and paper, save for lae'zel. girls who rip off heads with their bare hands and paint their nails in the blood :3

astarion: i do not know how to explain their relationship early on bc it fluctuates in my head. obviously irritated by how appin stops to help anyone and everyone especially since most of those people in act 1 are parents and children. appindex definitely laughs at his lame ass "seduction" bc it's pretty see through; it becomes less about seducing and just aiming making them laugh. appin probably said "im proud of you" at some point and it got to his head now he's vying for their attention and validation (get in line). my white hollow boned elf i'd probably give my organs to if he asked - appin

i think appindex is the more mature one, mentally and emotionally, especially since dragonborn develop and mature much earlier than elves do and i feel like dying young and being under cazador's control stunted astarions own maturity a bit. the result is appindex treating him like a child sometimes; not trusting him to do a number of things, scolding him,"dont treating me like a child" "dont act like one" etc etc. i think at some point he just does it and wears on appindex's extensive patience on purpose because he's a little freak like that :/. appin does not think its cute

ok no more of them next question

i think appindex is pretty trusting in a way. if they feel like they have no reason to feel threatened by someone they'll have their trust but that doesn't mean it can't be lost ofc. which is why they trust laezel and astarion so easily. why would they be scared of a tiny white elf who can't even get them to knife point (he failed that).

he does struggle to trust others to do things for them though, if he were ever to be out of commission or on the verge of it it would be like pulling teeth to try and get him to let someone else lead temporarily.

appin holds onto a piece of kednyr's old blanket bc it still smells like her :thumbs_up: karlach gives her a teddy bear with that piece attached to it as a gift. astarion may have helped but he will not confirm

extra notes ermm appin lived in the upper city, not a patriar or a servant, they just co-run an expensive smithy there.

as a passionate blacksmith (and someone who wants to become an artificer) appin is really intrigued by karlach's engine and wishes they could collaborate with dammon on how to fix it or make her a new one entirely

to add onto that he's extremely fascinated by the grymforge in the underdark its like a theme park to him. it is their nerdiest point in the storyline

they can stay underwater for a good period of time; an hour is their highest time

andd she has a prosthetic leg around age 40-45 sorry this got so long . this things in my head 24/7 rn i tried to omit some things to make it shorter but oh well

[meganwasbored]

The Dragon Prince Thoughts Season 3 Episode 9

-THIS IS IT

-wait does he actually have to paint the symbols on his arms to get the spell to work or is he just trying stuff because if he does does that mean that ibis has them tattooed on his arms or something? that made no sense i should probably watch more than 5 seconds before i start making stuff up

-WAS HE ABOUT TO SAY I LOVE YOU

-soren’s character development from season 1 to now is incredible i went from being slightly annoyed by him to loving every second he’s on screen

-is it just me or is aaravos’s snake form thing longer than it was last episode

-OMG CALLUMS TRANSLATING I JUST REMEMBERED GREN ISNT HERE WHERE IS HE

-won’t they all die on the way up because of the air or does their demon form change that

-THE LAST DRAGON GUARD

-wait why is callum down here i thought the plan was for him to stay near the top to pick them off on their way up

-SERIOUSLY WHO IS THIS GUY

-claudia carrying the whole army rn

-NOOOOO NOT THE DRAGONS

-IDC IF HES THE KING HES STILL A CHILD GET EZRAN OUT OF THERE

-“it’s going to be okay, wee fella” not when the thousands of demon soldiers burst through that doorway

-ok so the rainbow lighting did nothing but at least it was pretty

-THERE ISNT A SINGLE PERSON WITH CALLUM???? THEY LITERALLY JUST DROPPED HIM OFF LIKE “YOURE ON YOUR OWN KID SEE YOU IF YOU SURVIVE”

-everyone could just swarm kasef and claudia for a second and it would solve 90% of our problems

-callum why do still you have your emotional support sketchbook on you in battle i feel like that’s just slowing you down buddy

-AANYA WHERE DID YOU COME FROM

-THE MOST ICONIC CHARACTER AND I MEAN THAT MY QUEENNNN

-IM SPEECHLESS OMG

-I CAME HERE FOR RAYLLUM BUT I STAYED FOR THE BROYALS

-CRYINGGGGGG GREN AND AMAYA BACK AGAIN I FORGOT HE PROBABLY THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD SINCE THE VOLCANO

-SKBAIFBEODBDOSNDOSJWLWHAODH

-THE ELVES BOWING TO EZRAN

-EZRAN THE BATTLE LITERALLY JUST ENDED YOU CANT JUST RUN OFF ON YOUR OWN LIKE THAT

-WHAY WAS VIREN HIDING UNDER A BLANKET AND WHY WAS CLAUDIA WALKING AWAY FROM HIM WHAT IS GOING ON

-NO WORDS THIS IS TRULY SORENS EPISODE

-THE AMOUNT OF SOUL CRUSHING TRAUMA HE JUST WENT THROUGH IN THE PAST HOUR

-THIS ONLY TERRIFIES ME BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW HES GONNA SURVIVE SO WHAT HORRIBLE THING IS CLAUDIA GONNA DO TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN

-ALSO SOMEONE LITERALLY JUST GOT STABBED RIGHT BEFORE EZRANS EYES POOR BABY

-SHUT UP HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT COMING

-HOW DID HE GET UP THERE

-RAYLA IS IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION HER PARENTS WERE IN THIS SPOT I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING

-HARVEST????? CONSUME??????

-BAIT OMG

-IM SO DUMB HER PARENTS ARE COINS LIKE RUNAAN ARENT THEY

-I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS

-I WENT INTO THIS THINKING I ALREADY KNEW MOSTLY EVERYTHING THAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN AND I WAS SO SO WRONG

-BAITS FACE WHEN RAYLA CALLED HIM A HERO

-PUT ZYM DOWN RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME I WILL KILL YOU THROUGH THE SCREEN

-OKAY I KNOW SHES GONNA SURVIVE THIS AND YOU KNOW SHES GONNA SURVIVE THIS BUT SHE DOESNT KNOW SHES GONNA SURVIVE THIS WHICH MEANS SHE JUST SACRIFICED HER LIFE FOR THAT DRAGON

-THE FACT THAT HE DIDNT EVEN THINK TWICE ABOUT JUMPING AFTER HER

-pause can we talk about how strong rayla is to hold herself up like that i’d be dead

-this is the one time the “we beat the unbeatable villain through ✨the power of love✨” trope is acceptable

-this is awesome and all and i’m loving every second of it but why are we acting like everything is okay it’s not claudia is still out there with a super powerful staff that could destroy that whole cave with all of you in it if she gets up there

-also i can’t be that only one who doesn’t see the point of this baker like i feel like they just put him here because they can he serves literally no purpose

-wow very convenient of you to wake up right after the battle is over it’s not like you couldve been a huge life saving help anyway😐

-ZYM IS LITERALLY THE SIZE OF THE QUEENS EYEBALL I CANT

-i’m sorry i still can’t get over the fact that the dragons can talk i don’t know how to feel about it

-claudia’s hair is now half white i don’t like this

-if aaravos hatches out of that cocoon i’m gonna lose my freaking mind

-my word that was a lot

-you’re telling me y’all had to wait 3 YEARS after this cliffhanger for season 4???? i’m suddenly very glad i didn’t start watching until now i don’t think i could’ve handled that