#adult in his life who was very openly amazed by how powerful and talented and skilled he is and told him that’ because gods know Sora needs

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

10 Times Arnav Singh Raizada Crossed The Line (Part 2)

Read Part 1

This is the continuation of my analysis of my favorite television hero - Arnav Singh Raizada. A man who has as much as qualities as flaws. And my endless inspiration to writing a thousand words! 

Recap: Arnav Singh Raizada is our perfect, tortured Mills & Boons hero. Sometimes it’s unfortunate when recent shows have aped his behavior and not the layered characterization that he had. However, sometimes (according to my own opinion) I felt that his character might have crossed the line. It’s moments where no explanations justify his behavior.

- Tearing the dori. - Arnav Singh Raizada does not apologize. - Blasting at Khushi for pranking, PRANKING him. - Telling Khushi her anklet, their almost kiss & she, does not matter. - Arnav Hypocrite Raizada - forcing an engaged Khushi to confess her feelings when he’s unable to do so.

Reminding Khushi of her broken engagement cause he can’t handle jealousy.

Manipulating & frightening Khushi with Akash & Payal’s divorce papers.

Telling Khushi he ‘faked’ his sickness to get rid of the ‘Swami’ tag.

Refusing to believe Khushi’s version of events.

Becoming Khushi’s landlord and blackmailing her (emotionally and financially) to get her to come back home.

Bonus

Telling Khushi that she does not have the brains, courage nor talent to face the real world.  

#6 “Tumhara rishta? Hua tha... yaad hai na?”. (S5, E10)

“Your relationship? It happened... do you even remember that?” - A foot in mouth Arnav Singh Raizada.

First Reaction: How to lose a woman in ten seconds ft. Arnav Singh Raizada. Are you bloody serious? THIS… out of all the valid things you could have yelled at her for, HER BROKEN ENGAGEMENT is what you taunt her with?

What’s wrong with it: 

Arnav arranges a party for Akash & Payal according to his own tastes. He never takes into account that his new sister in law might get intimidated in the new setting. This is a power move for Arnav and really not a party for Akash & Payal because nothing in the party is for them. From whatever we know about Akash, he is a quiet guy who enjoys little things in life - not necessarily wine and a cultural show. Payal feels left out. Akash’s discomfort is visible at the party as he keeps asking Payal if she’s comfortable. 

Arnav literally has this party for himself, and he can’t party. In general, Arnav acts like an entitled dick for these two episodes. In the previous episode he makes it clear that he’s aware how Khushi might feel left out and does not invite her to the party for her own sister. He’s insensitive, callous and mocking (and surprised as to why NK and Khushi mix well?).

And I LOVE that Khushi and NK chose to hang out with each other because Arnav is almost pushing her away to another man by his ‘generous acts’. Like if these two were not soulmates and born for each other, I was a minute away from being “Yeah Khushi, I think you should date the other guy who is more sensitive to you even though he’s lived all his life in another country and knows you for like 48 hours.”

Quick note: I’m not all that aversive to NK & Khushi being a pair. Now wait a second, it might be like oh Khushi really pushes their families to think that she and NK go well together. Well… she and NK have an instant connect like no other - even in the future NK is almost always able to tell when Khushi is disturbed or when something happens that demeans Khushi’s worth in the house. 

Also, imagine this, in the shoes of Akash - if I am Khushi’s friend and I’ve seen her go through a terrible engagement, incessant insults from my older cousin, and then I see her connect with my younger cousin who actually makes Khushi smile and laugh all the time…

I don’t think it's a mystery that I’ll ship her with a man who can make her smile. And no wonder why the Sangeet performance stuns everyone. Anjali & Akash more than anyone else (because I think they were the only ones who thought there was something else between Arnav & Khushi and they put that thought in the backburner until they see that shit… whatever it was has simmered all along).  

Track Rewrite: 

I’m just realising that I don’t have many track rewrite ideas for most of the foot-in-mouth situations of ASR. The dialogue that Khushi, here, says is amazing. She literally replies to him, word for word, and makes him see his own hypocrisy and also highlights that he’s furious about something else - that he does not want to accept, as usual. 

She states, in between lines, that she has given up reading his mind and trying to be gentle to him when he, frankly, doesn’t deserve that treatment. If anything, their sangeet rivalry and the win-lose situation just gets to my nerves at one point.

Head-canon: 

NK openly flirts with Khushi more on seeing how interested Nannav is with Khushi. NK never regards Khushi as his sister-in-law, for him Khushi always remains as his best friend and as the woman he understands best which he not-so-lightly rubs against Nannav’s face every now and then. He truly loves Khushi, but as a friend. It’s a pure, true friendship between Khushi and NK.

Public Service Announcement: 

Before planning a party please make sure you have a survey on what the people actually want in the party, especially if it's hosted for them. A party is not a party if you’re the only one enjoying it.

#7 “It is so sad Khushi, ki Akash ka phone mere paas hai.” (S6, E19-21)

“It is so Khushi, that I have Akash’s phone with me.” Arnav, holding Akash’s phone while Khushi frantically dials Akash to ask if he knowingly signed the divorce papers, and make him aware of the same. Arnav makes Khushi think it’s Akash’s divorce papers - Akash actually signed some random office papers. 

First Reaction: I know the context of everything but that was a low blow. I KNOW ARNAV DOESN’T KNOW HIS KHUSHI BABY IS INNOCENT but somehow this part is tough to digest.

What’s wrong with it: 

Abuse of power - as simple as that. Of course we’re all immediately swayed to Khushi’s feelings because we know she’s an innocent bub. But to Arnav she’s the woman who’s breaking his sister’s house so he probably feels justified in torturing her with the idea of breaking her sister’s house. I get it, it’s a tit for tat situation. 

But if we’re thinking deeply, this is not just an average argument that they always have - Khushi literally is going through a mental breakdown to stop Payal. This could have easily gone out of hand. Just saying.

Track Rewrite: 

A necessary evil to establish the tighthold Arnav has on Khushi regarding the marriage. I don’t appreciate the immediate comedy, romance or smugness that follows. The scenes are great - individually. But BUT BUT I feel this event would trigger a more serious reaction from Khushi because she has always been very serious when it’s about her sister.

If I had to rewrite this, everything happens the way it is but instead of the childish thing of her jumping into the pool (I know she’s childish but we have infinite opportunities in the future to prove that), she would grow very serious and threaten Arnav to never, ever touch her sister’s marriage. 

I would assume she would become very serious for a few days, and then resume to her usual antics. Arnav’s anger is well justified - on one hand Khushi has the galls to threaten him about her sister’s marriage when she’s breaking his, on the other hand he also would never do any damage to Akash’s marriage.

Head-canon: 

Bua ji, for as much as she’s crossed with Khushi, actually had a wedding trousseau for Khushi (she starts wearing all the anarkalis and salwar kameez post this trip to Gupta House). There’s actually a very emotional moment between Khushi and Bua ji where Bua ji tells her she bought new clothes for Khushi when they were buying things for Payal. 

So yeah, just an emotional, almost mother-daughter bond between Khushi and Bua ji where the latter expresses her disappointment in the way Khushi married but also loves her beyond everything. 

Here Bua ji says that she’s upset with Khushi because she’s their own, if not she won’t have even bothered. Also, Garima and Bua ji have a talk in between where they miss Khushi immensely and find it difficult to live in a house without the two daughters. 

Garima and Bua ji have a mature talk, as adults, wondering if what Khushi did was a return to what they did to Khushi and then they receive Anjali’s call to attend Holi.

Public Service Announcement: 

Don’t manipulate! Also, always check with your spouse for any assumptions you might have against them :) Communication is key. For more enquiries about relationship troubles regarding assumed infidelity or hiding secrets - contact Dr. Jalebi S, your own sweet relationship expert. But yes, don’t hide stuff from your partner if it involves their family and DON’T MANIPULATE AND PLAY MIND GAMES!

#8 “Kitna bhi jaan lo, kabhi kabhi kisi ko pehchaan na bohot mushkil ho jaata hai. Kal raat mujhe kuch bhi nahi hua tha. Main bilkul theek tha.” (S6, E46) 

“Irrespective of how much you know someone, sometimes it can get very difficult to (truly) recognize someone. Last night, nothing happened to me. I was absolutely fine.” Arnav Irony Singh Raizada. Doesn’t the first line apply to himself too? He thinks he knows her, but he does NOT. 

First Reaction: YOU SON OF A BACHELOR! YOU WERE NOT NOT SICK! 

What’s wrong with it: 

I don’t like how Arnav’ perennially pissed with Khushi the minute he got up. Pfft, Khushi’s beautiful and seeing her wonderful face in the morning was a great moment for a Rabba Ve moment because of the sweet Rabba Ve they had the night before! I love Arnav’s discomfort in knowing how Khushi took care of him while he was asleep, while no one was there to watch. Because for him, it was crossing borders on what their marriage was beginning to seem.

And then the whole I was not sick, bleh, and then Anjali (I love her, wonderful woman) but for the life of me I couldn’t understand what in the world she was trying to explain. Because really, no way had Arnav lied to Khushi to make her feel better/less guilty.

Rather he was belittling and mocking her efforts.

There’s one thing about hiding intentions, there’s another about forcing and painting someone’s actions in a romantic light - that’s not right.

Arnav is a master at hiding his intentions. Whenever he yells at Khushi where she’s gone - it means he’s worried. When he tells Khushi he doesn’t need her help - well he actually needs it. When he’s ignoring her - he wants her to stop ignoring him, etc.

So we know Arnav when he hides intentions. Hence I felt the Anjali-Arnav scene was forcing the viewers to sympathize with Arnav and be like heh, he did that to make Khushi feel less guilty. I anyways sympathize with Arnav given the battle he’s facing internally... so this one scene felt odd.

Quick note: I have a love-hate relationship with Khushi eating all the food scenes and embarrassing him in his office with wifey behavior. Also, Arnav has a very telling body language when he lies - he speaks very fast, and does not meet her eyes and in many cases, physically turns away from her while speaking.

Track Rewrite: 

Just… let’s put the wonderful Anjali/Arnav moment somewhere else in the story where Anjali notices Arnav actually lying to make Khushi feel better. Cause Anjali does hit the nail in stating that her brother never reveals what he feels.  

Also, I love the entire Gupta House adventure that they have but there’s a part of me that wished it happened at another time.

Like if it happened at the time it did, then oh God please change what triggers the marriage reveal.

Otherwise the entire thing can happen when Arnav decides to stay in Gupta house cause Khushi won’t be coming to Raizada house (post his great “You’re the biggest mistake of my life Khushi”). In a way it would be hilarious that Arnav is trying to win Khushi back but also is facing extreme discomfort at the lack of luxury he’s become used to - classic ASR. 

And probably Khushi suffocates him with a recall to the ‘Swami’ track and makes his life a living hell in her house. Made for each other that they are.  

Head-canon: 

Arnav and Khushi get used to and look forward to having meals together. Arnav, rarely, eats alone ever again. It’s a development Nani and Anjali are very happy to see.

Public Service Announcement: 

Don’t eat all food if you have a diabetic partner. Also, don’t try to understand everything your sibling does - try questioning them instead of justifying. Try drinking coffee instead of tea if you’ve been awake all night <3

#9 “Tumhe kya lagta hai, agar tum uss raat mujhe bata deti toh kya main aankhein band karke tumpe vishwaas kar leta?” (S7, E15-17)

“What do you think, if you told me your truth that night then I would’ve believed you without a doubt?” Arnav, to Khushi, after she’s told her side of the misunderstanding. And with that, every fan’s highest hopes dashed and worst dreams came true.  

First Reaction: NO ARNAV DON’T… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

What’s wrong with it: 

He refuses to believe her. He has a choice, he has heard both sides of the story. And he refuses to believe it. But my biggest problem - Khushi pretends she has no idea what moment he’s referring to?

Girl, you’ve been forcefully hugged by Shyam only once in your life and until and unless you’re amnesiac you would remember that traumatic moment. I am just so upset that Khushi does nothing nor says anything concrete when he says he doesn’t believe her. She doesn’t say Shyam molested her.

She puts it on Arnav. That what he knows isn’t true. That he doesn’t deserve the truth, which is a good argument but state more! Then she goes silent *argh*

Her argument starts strong, but ends up terribly. She just ends up saying all the things that don’t matter!

Track Rewrite: 

Khushi should have told why she went to the terrace that night. That she thought it was he who asked her to come up. That Shyam harassed her. That Shyam has continuously harassed her. That Arnav’s not the only one who threatened the safety of Payal’s marriage - Shyam threatened it too.

No matter what Khushi did, somehow Payal’s marriage always ends up on the line. If she tells, Payal’s marriage is threatened by Shyam and because she didn’t, Payal’s marriage was threatened by Arnav.

ALSO KHUSHI APOLOGISES FOR HIDING THE TRUTH!

It should’ve been a clash of their ideologies, their personalities, her heartbreak over the fact that he doesn’t know she loves him, his disbelief that the truth is too good to be true (and essentially confusion because if Khushi loved him all along then it meant that he misunderstood her all along and he’s not great at seeing his own mistakes). She would’ve been too angry to make amends - not until she realizes he’s leaving for London and his mistake doesn’t matter.

Here’s a fic that I wrote that covers this. 

Head-canon: 

Akash and Payal are the only ones who later get to know the entire thing as this topic affected both the marriages deeply. Nani also knows, but of course not the part that he forced her to marry for six months by threatening Payal’s marriage.

Public Service Announcement: 

Lies rarely do good. And be careful to analyze any traumatic event from all angles! What’s visible is not what happens and what happens is not visible!

#10 “Khushi, tum kiraya kamkarwana chahti ho? Toh tumhe mere saath ghar aana parega.” “Nahi.” “Okay, mere paas koi choice nahi hai. Mujhe tumhara ghar girwana parega.” (S8, E21-22) 

“Khushi you want to reduce your rent? Then you to need to come home with me.” “No.” “Okay, then I have no other choice. I will have to tear down your house.” - Arnav to Khushi. The most inappropriate sentence anyone can tell to another. Given that they are husband and wife, it’s even worse. 

Quick note on the photos: Khushi Kumari Gupta, not believing the man she married in all three scenes. Arnav Singh Raizada, lying in all three scenes. 

First Reaction: 

Everybody… yeah… don’t really rock your body… yeah… Stupid. Singh. Raizada’s. Back!

Oh my God stupid Raizada is back again! Brothers sisters everybody’s sayin’…. Not really gonna bring Khushi back nor gonna show anyone anything how… *continues butchering Backstreet’s Back* I gotta question for you (yes I do ASR so) you better answer now..

Are you original? Yeah

Are you the only one? For Khushi, yeah

Are you sexual? Very, but that’s not helping… Noooo

Are you everything Khushi needs - Yes but you need to shut up.

Are you - SHUT UP AND SAY SORRY

AND MEAN IT IF YOU’RE SAYING SORRY - IN FORTY EIGHT HOURS YOU SAID SHE’S THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF HER LIFE, APOLOGISED AND FOLLOWED IT UP BY THREATENING PAYAL’S MARRIAGE, MADE HER WORK FOR YOU AND BOUGHT THE HOUSE SO YOU COULD HIKE THE HOUSE FEES AND THEN LITERALLY TOLD HER YOU CAN DRAG HER OUT OF THE HOUSE… and you think she’ll come back?

DUDE, what are you smoking?

What’s wrong with it: 

Boy… no. No. Ask NK, Nani, Payal or even Lakshmi (talk with the people who understand Khushi!) on how to appease Khushi. A part of me was really upset with this track cause although I understand that Arnav is never really gonna do a full blown redemption and they need to stay true to his character, I didn’t see how ANY of his actions would get Khushi back…

It’s not wrong that he was upset at Khushi for visiting Anjali - even I was! Like seriously, Khushi, despite her best intentions, really does make the biggest mistakes! However, implying that Khushi’s existence is the reason why Shyam cheated Anjali was shit. On top of that he calls his marriage a contract, blackmails her about Payal, is unable to wish her a happy birthday, becomes her landlord and stops all utilities (hence now blackmailing her using her family) to get her back?

I don’t see the sense. I try really hard and I’m team Arnav but for me him becoming her landlord was just flexing his money and power. It was a low blow, and it’s really not funny how he keeps threatening the peace of her family but get’s pissed off when Khushi, unintentionally, disturbs his family.

It does not matter that Arnav would essentially not carry on with his threat, to Khushi he would and that’s what matters (cuts off electricity and water to prove his point and it does cause inconvenience her family). It’s just a very unhealthy atmosphere over here. The little moments are great, independently, but apart from that I just found this to be a very troubling scene.

Track Rewrite: 

Oh I have a lot, LOT of theories for this one:

- Khushi first thinks Arnav has bought the house from her landlord so as to stop the harassment and Arnav is guilty AF because he didn’t expect that. Bua ji enters right when Arnav talks about the truth of the marriage. She hears everything, and asks Arnav to leave her house, forever. She goes all ‘Haye Re Nandkishore’ on him. DRAMA. #BuajiRoxx

- Landlord shit doesn’t happen. Khushi leaves the house, Arnav decides to stay at her house since she isn’t going back to Shantivan with the promise to reminisce all the sweetest moments she shared. Khushi kills him with the ‘Swami’ shit, again, and Arnav ends up being irritated due to lack of adjustment but also does everything possible to get Khushi back. They have their Rabba Ves and then he brings her back and gives her the sweet gifts.

- She returns home (just like in canon) but distances herself from all the Raizadas (and does not jump into making Raksha Bandhan celebration - ugh, women are not always obligated to keep their sasuraal happy)! For a few days she becomes just like Arnav - unemotional, unaffected, orderly and unexpressive. Akash, having repaired his relationship with Payal and hence having gained a deeper insight, helps Arnav overcome his marriage issues.

Head-canon: 

Khushi and Arnav have a conversation where she asks him when, where and why did he transfer the house’s papers to her name. It’s an important and tender moment. Arnav gradually comes to know Khushi married him more because it was he who proposed marriage. Khushi gradually comes to know that Arnav, never, would threaten Akash-Payal’s marriage. 

Did she accidentally come across the ‘office’ papers that Akash had signed? Did Arnav actually play a role in smoothening Akash-Payal’s relationship post the Shyam reveal - anything on those lines.  

Public Service Announcement: 

IF YOUR PARTNER ISN’T COMING BACK HOME AND YOU THINK BLACKMAIL IS A SOLUTION THEN MESSAGE DR. JALEBI/S IMMEDIATELY. YOU NEED HELP. At this point, irrespective of star crossed pyaar, I’d 9/10 recommend separation, break, counseling.

Bonus

"No you can’t. Kyunki asal zindagi main guzara karne ke liye paise chahiye hote hai. Aur paise kamane ke liye akal chahiye hoti hai. Himmat aur confidence chahiye hote hai puri duniya ka saamna karne ke liye. Apne sapne pure karne ke liye. Aur tumhe inn sab main se kuch bhi nahi hai.” (S11, E2)

“No you can’t [face the world on your own]. Because to face the real world you need need. And to earn money you need intelligence. You need bravery and confidence to face the whole whole. To fulfill your dreams. And you have none of these.” Arnav, to Khushi. The moment when Arnav forgot that Khushi was the sole breadwinner of the Gupta’s and Khushi forgot that Arnav is a multimillionaire.

First Reaction: WHAT ARE THE WRITERS DOING? WHAT IS THE CHANNEL DOING? WHAT IS ARNAV DOING? THIS LEADS TO A FASHION SHOW INSTEAD OF AN ACTUAL CHAT - WHAT IS KHUHSI DOING? WHAT AM I DOING??!! Should I stop watching the show?

What’s wrong with it: 

I really liked Arnav and Khushi’s difference of opinion when it came to raising Aarav - not where she is being stupid and asking to burst crackers (she is retracting on so many of her characteristics right now I can’t keep a track). I did not like the second half of the argument because it really took the characters several notches down on their growth/development. 

I really liked Khushi stating to Arnav that - hey, buying happiness with money can work with adults but terribly spoil children. But then what followed, without a hint of apology, into an embarrassing and terrible Fashion Pageant that completely missed the point of this argument!

Neither parent thinks it’s important to sit and have a calm chat with Aarav. Arnav is a ‘yes’ man around him. Khushi is there to heap the values instilled on her. Is anyone trying to make Aarav understand, no? And Arnav’s evident lack of respect for Khushi will translate to Aarav. 

They’re both bad at parenting and this could have been a really nice track that they could have wrapped up in a few episodes but no.

Aarav never learns. Arnav gives a half assed dialogue about ‘oh I know Khushi you’re talented’ and Khushi spends the next 10 days behaving like an 8 year old, not chatting up with Aarav about behavior issues, and thinks winning a Fashion Pageant is being courageous, talented, determined and independent.

*throws head on wall*

Track Rewrite: 

Oh I HAVE TONS but I’ll explain my favorite one. First of all, I’ll let that argument be because it is natural that this is where Arnav and Khushi might conflict. But instead of Khushi’s childish sulking that puts Arnav into a ‘oh let’s make her jealous, call her to office, appease her by some shitty ASR plan and probably apologise somewhere’ and Khushi going all ‘haww, he called me brainless, now I’ll prove so by stupidly acting like a kid in his coat’-

Arnav and Khushi stand still when they realise he has crossed a line and he storms off, leaving a very quiet Khushi alone. They both walk on eggshells, neither’s ego letting the argument down. It seriously hampers their relationship. They just don’t speak and anything small leads to a big argument. 

Khushi spends an enormous amount of time in her catering service in an attempt to prove herself, becoming a bit crazy behind earning money which makes her off character. Arnav throws himself in office, and is almost happy when he realizes Khushi’s catering service does not earn even half of his monthly profit, annually. A competitive streak drives a wedge between them. This goes on - that troubles the entire family, and stops until Aarav misbehaves with Anjali.

This breaks the ice wall between Arnav and Khushi, draws them out of their workaholic spheres. Bua ji, Payal, NK reprimand Khushi for being absent in raising Aarav, her obsession to make Aarav religious and traditional without making him understand the reason of the values and above all, competitive with her husband that she grandly declared she can’t live without. Mami, Nani, Akash reprimand Arnav for pretty much the same.

When Arnav and Khushi talk to Anjali, she again reprimands the both of them in terms of parenting, marriage and the coexistence of both. Arnav cannot buy upbringing, manners, ethics, respect and character through money. Khushi cannot instill goodness, kindness, generosity and honesty by piling beliefs of the Lord. If that was the case then her husband - who would get all the money he needed from Arnav, and believed in all the Gods - would be a good man.

Arnav and Khushi talk to their son, together, to figure out his actual problem of fitting in. Aarav is surprised to learn both his parents were orphans. He truly bonds with them after getting through his adjustment fears and issues. In teaching Aarav, Arnav and Khushi realise what truly matters - their love. And that they had forgotten how similar they were. 

With Aarav they have met another person who is just like them - alone, afraid, orphaned and lonely who’s standing at the same point in life where he either turns himself into a man with absolute belief or none at all. And with parents who have faced the extremes of fates, Aarav might just have the perfect upbringing.

Hence, Arnav and Khushi patch up with an emotional, tear jerking hug. They end up recounting each other’s stories and realize how far they’ve come along. They never had a name for their love and after all the hatred, denial, lust, acceptance, confession, purity, marriage and parenthood - no one name’s going to fit either.

Head-canon: 

Aarav, although behaviorally like his father, grows up to be a complete Mumma’s boy. If anyone thought Arnav is super protective about Khushi, well Aarav is ten times more protective about his mother. Also, internally Aarav is a big fan of Hindi cinema, loves sweets and has the most outrageous dance moves. But he’s also an introvert so he would kill anyone who pointed out on those.

Public Service Announcement: 

Adopt children when you are ready. Having a child can take toll on a marriage so COMMUNICATE - COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR SPOUSE, YOUR CHILD AND YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM!

Phew, this is the end of this post and I sincerely hope you liked it! Feel free to send your thoughts through asks/notes/etc. 

[themidnightcircusshow]

As always happens after I watch some of Be Kind Rewind’s videos (a youtube channel that goes into the careers and politics of Best Actress Oscar wins), I wonder how much Dean’s open hatred of powerful people in Hollywood screwed up his chances at getting Oscar noms. Now, I’m used to some level of award snubbery (I’m a massive James Mcavoy fan. ‘Oscars are meaningless’ is on the front page for the fanclub pamphlet) and most of the time it kind of makes sense. But with Dean there is just this massive disconnect-- I think it’s sometimes lost in the conversation that he was the first person ever to win two best actor scrolls at Cannes, and every piece of press from his childhood (which aligns with Lilian Burns’, the acting coach and power behind the throne at MGM, beliefs) openly states that he was considered an above and beyond acting talent. So the fact that he never got a juvenile Oscar is just bizarre to me. I mean, good press is just advertisement, but the disconnect is genuinely jarring. And if there’s one thing that Be Kind Rewind repeats frequently, it’s that Oscars are defined by trends and power plays, not always talent.

Dean seems to have been open about his disdain for stardom from the get go. @alcalavicci is far more experienced with Dean’s early interviews, but even the earliest press about him seems to emphasise that Dean was an outsider in Hollywood and probably didn’t want to be there. All the references to how much Dean was an East Coast boy (which, considering how much he hated New York, is a laugh) start extremely early, and then merge into Dean being very clear that he isn’t going to be an actor when he’s older (also a laugh, but a significantly sadder one). All Old Hollywood stars had well fabricated images, and Dean’s no exception (see all the newspapers talking about how Dean was a heartbreaker the moment he turned up on the MGM lot, when according to Margaret O’brien he had no interest in girls when they were young), and I’m very suspicious that the moment it became clear Dean wasn’t interested in playing the Hollywood game, MGM decided to push the image of the prodigy who saw through the glamour and searched for a normal life. His image would fit in very well nowadays. However, I imagine his brazen dislike of Hollywood to the press made a lot of power players stick their noses up. None of the Stockwells seemed to be very interested in making Dean’s star rise (except for Harry, who was barely in the picture anyway). There are many, many stories about the power Hollywood mothers would wield, and the games they would play to get their child better parts or more money etc etc etc. There are no stories about Betty Stockwell getting up to anything like that, or Dean being interested in that either. So while that lack of trouble making probably endeared them enough for them to be kept around for as long as they were, I doubt many Hollywood producers and their egos enjoyed having a star whose image was centered around his hatred of them were happy. Amicable enough to work with easily, not amicable enough to give awards to. 

His early adult comeback was even worse. It’s almost annoying that every article from this time, in between inane questions and comparing him to James Dean, focus on how ~he hated the industry~ but he came back anyway. However, I don’t know how many people were talking about the actual problems of being a Child Star, people were just witnessing it in stars such as Judy Garland. So I do think that for the public, this was probably quite revolutionary. For a studio exec, this was probably treasonous. Be Kind Rewind talks about, especially in relation to Katherine Hepburn, how being seen to consider oneself ‘above’ Hollywood was considered the biggest sin (and, let’s be real, still is). So again, no matter how many amazing and critically acclaimed performances Dean gave, in movies that garnered plenty of Oscar buzz from other aspects, his public antagonism with the Hollywood system definitely seems to have shot him in the foot. 

The thing that really makes me think this was the case is what actually did get him an Oscar nom. When Dean came back in the 80s, he was significantly kinder to Hollywood. Some of it was certainly just part of getting older-- he was married with children now, he had left Hollywood for a short time, and honestly his childhood probably just seemed further away. I don’t think you can ever say he fully forgave his past -- one interviewer joked about Dean’s kids becoming child actors, and mentioned he did not like that question very much -- but at least in public, he seemed to have forgiven Hollywood and blamed his earlier standoff nature about it on his immaturity. I also can’t be certain of this, especially because we have no video footage of him in interviews when he was young, but based solely off print he seems to have become more open and joking with interviewers. He even smiles in photos! I think this did all of the work to get him into Hollywood’s good graces and get him that Oscar nom, because I’m going to be honest-- I have great difficulty seeing how Married to the Mob was an Oscar worthy part. It was just the only big role he had in a mainstream movie (remember, this was when the Oscars preferred to give awards to big movies). Really, if his part in Blue Velvet was more than a cameo I think he would have been nominated for that. Or for anything, really. I know people tend to put his loss down to the fact that there were two big name actors splitting the votes, but I also think a huge part of it is that it was an Overdue Oscar, not an Oscar for the actual performance. If it had been a better part (in a better movie *cough*), especially a dramatic part, I think he would have won. 

[vasiliassuns]

thistle gimme the tea on ruby

♥ oh gods, you really just love getting me on the analysis trains, hm ?

♥ ( note ; do not read this post if you absolutely love ruby with all of your heart and believe she is 100% innocent , to each their own , these are just my own personal opinions and im not trying to offend anybody ) 

♥ warning ! this post is very long, and essentially turned into a character analysis of specific moments and nearly an entire volume largely based off of how i see the show. it is multiple paragraphs long, standing at exactly 3444 words exactly. there will be a tl;dr at the end for anybody who doesnt want to read the full post, or has trouble focusing ! thank you for understanding. 

-----------------------

♥ where do i start ? personally, ruby’s character really got it’s worst in volume 7. i really enjoyed her character pre - fall of beacon, and a decent amount in volumes 4 - 6 as well. there is a moment in volume 4 that make me let out a long sigh, as well as a singular moment in volume 5 that greatly confuses me on her character, so i will touch up on that as well.

♥ volume 7 is what kills my love for her character, in all honest, as well as some moments in volume 6 that i feel could have been written better. i’ll go in chronological order for this, starting with my “:///” towards a part in volume 4, then confusion of a scene in volume 5, then the slight issues that developed with her in volume 6, then moving on to volume 7 and how im no longer really enjoying her character

♥ so, in volume 4, its very common knowledge that tyrian was sent to attack and retrieve ruby to bring back to salem, due to her having silver eyes and the damage she cause salems fall maiden. when qrow shows up to save ruby at the perfect last second, he adamantly tells her and the rest of team rnjr to stay out of the fight. at first, ren and nora dont listen, but then do, which is fair. but ruby continued to push her helping qrow. as we all know now, qrow was telling her to stay back due to his semblance. while, yes, ruby did help qrow against tyrian with a couple of the blows, the fight would have gone much different should she have not interfered (personally, i feel like qrow would have had a shot at beating tyrian, especially because their auras were both flickering and they seemed very evenly matched). but due to her constant interference, she nearly got knocked out by a large wooden beam, had qrow not sliced it in half. she wound up (even if it was accidentally) distracting qrow, giving tyrian the opportunity to nearly poison him. i dont hate her for wanting to help in this scene, because its her uncle who she cares about, but i feel like she also should have trusted qrow and stayed out of the fight. the line “this is my fight too” also gets me. maam, this isnt your fight, the fight is about you, but doesnt need to physically involve you.

♥ with volume 5. its a very well known scene, at least in my opinion. when weiss got impaled by none other than cinder fucking fall. within the few episode long battle for haven, we did see ruby’s eyes activate once when jaune and cinder were running / flying at each other to fight. i do understand why her eyes activated there, because jaune is her first friend from beacon that wasn’t her sister, arguably one of her closest. what i dont understand is why ruby’s eyes didnt activate when she saw that cinder had impaled weiss with the spear, weiss sitting in the same position ruby last saw pyrrha in, weiss an inch from death. it just doesnt add up to me how her teammate and partner, somebody who’s saved her multiple times and shes saved multiple times. it may be that she was too stressed in the moment for them to properly activate, which we’ve seen ( in volume 7 ), but i still feel like something should have happened with her eyes. 

♥ continuing on with volume 6, i really didnt have many issues with her character here either, but a few of her lines / moments kinda made me go “:/ bruh why tho” closer to the end of this volume. it’s really only two quotes of her’s that get me, which is “Just because you don't have an idea, doesn't mean we're out of options! Oz hasn't been here to tell us what to do, but we still managed to get this far anyway. We've been in bad situations before, and we don't need an adult to come save us or tell us what to do. We just did it our way! And I say we do it our way. And if you think you can keep up with us "kids"... we'd be happy to have you.” from the episode ‘lost’. i partially understand what she’s saying here, but at the same time, she says this to qrow, who saved her life on multiple occasions, and who wanted to get to atlas without breaking any laws. the way she said it (nothing against lindsay, she is an amazing and very talented voice actress, and she delivers nearly all of rubys lines perfectly, but imagine as if this was a real person we knew), kind of seemed decently rude to me. i understand that she knows they need to get to atlas, because james can help them (ill bring this back up later, trust me), and shes clearly not afraid to break the law that involves james’ military to get to him. 

♥ the second thing in volume 6 about ruby that semi-upsets me / makes me go “:/” is in the episode seeing red, when she was talking to cordovin, she said “ We're going to Atlas. Bigger people than you have tried to stop us and failed, but we're supposed to be on the same side! We're supposed to use our power to protect people, but you just use yours to look down on everyone! We didn't want to steal from you. We did it because you gave us no other choice! Now I'm giving you one last chance to stand down and hear us out.” this semi-upsets me mostly because of the line “bigger people than you have tried to stop us and failed”, as well as “we did it because you gave us no other choice.”. the “bigger people than you” gets me because while, yes, in the grand scheme of things within the war against salem, cordovin is a small footnote within it, the only other people who physically tried to stop team rwby was roman (who sadly was eaten by grimm due to his negative emotions with flocks of grimm around, not because of ruby), cinder’s miniature faction (who only partially failed. as much as i hate cinders character, she didnt fully fail in stopping rwby, she just was forced to step back for a while...multiple times.), and tyrian with rnjr. roman didnt inherently fail, he just chose to walk away from the fights hed been having with team rwby in order to devise a new plan to beat them the next time. cinder’s faction only partially failed because ruby managed to get on top of beacon tower in volume 3 with weiss’ help, watching pyrrha pass away thus activating her silver eyes for the first time. the only reason tyrian failed to stop rnjr was because qrow was there to help, and ruby managed to get an opening to slice his tail in half (which. ew that shot looked disgusting). yes, bigger people have tried to stop her and her friends, but they didnt inherently fail, at least not yet. with the line “we did it because you gave no other choice!” mostly just confuses me. while yes, technically cordovin didnt really give any options for the group, it didnt automatically mean that they had to instantly resort to stealing from the military. 

♥ now ! onto volume 7, where my salt really starts. because i have a growing icky feeling about her character in volume 7, im going to split this next bit up into three parts. the first part being the first 4 episodes, the second being episodes 5-9 and the third and final being episodes 10-13. buckle up!

♥ episode 1, i really have nothing against ruby. she has the same attitude she did in volume 6 and before, which is a mixture of pure but also wanting to stop salem.

♥ its episode 2 that starts to get me. as i mentioned earlier, ruby knows they have to get to atlas because they know james can help them, and that the lamp is safer if its locked away in the vault, but then she suddenly doesnt trust james. i dont know if this is because the ace-operatives arresting them, but in that situation, james also couldnt have known who the unlicensed huntsmen were. as seen by his and winter’s reactions to the soliders bringing rwby+jnr+oscar & qrow in, they instantly tell them to let the 9 go, because james and winter personally know them and know they would never attack people. so, i dont really know why ruby would stop trusting the idea that james could help them because of that. it may also be the fact that ruby doesnt like the idea that james was planning on telling the people of atlas and mantle about salem (which, honestly? to me? this decision seems fully rash and makes a lot of sense.), but even then, if the students at the vytal festival knew about salem, or the world did, it may have proven to be more beneficial to them, because the more people that knew she existed, the more people who can fight her or the more people that can support those who are fighting her on the front lines, so ruby no longer trusting him over that doesnt make sense to me either. ruby’s sudden distrust of james upsets me quite a bit, because she and the team shed been traveling with had learned ozpin was hiding things from them (my feelings on this is a whole different post, but not necessarily a negative one), and was very upset about that. really, her openly lying to james about not knowing why ozpin had disappeared / locked himself away in oscars mind, as well as the amount of questions jinn has left, really ticks me off. they spent the entirety of volume 6 trying to get to atlas and to james because they needed his help, and once they finally got there, in front of the man himself, she lied. she became the exact same thing that she and her group had openly not liked what so ever, which was a blatant liar. id understand if ruby said that jinn had one more question left, to see how james would react, and tell him of salem’s immortality at a slightly later date, when they got into the rhythm of being around each other and working as a team against salem, but just blatantly lying, without consulting her team prior, to the man who could in all honesty make or break how they fought this war, was plain wrong.

♥ in episode 3, ruby was mostly back to who she had been prior to this entire mess. she explains why theyre hiding stuff from james, albeit in the vaguest way possible (weiss and blake explain the thinking behind it more than she does, honestly). we also see the beginning of a conversation between ruby and oscar about them lying to james. though, with the lying situation and who she was turning into, this is really all for this episode.

♥ in episode 4, the largest scene we see with ruby openly talking about her distrust for james is her conversation with qrow. she says “I'm trying to do what I think is best, but I really can't tell if what's best is what's right. Or if I'm no different from Oz.“, which at this point, shes nothing like ozpin. shes worse. ozpin was hiding the truth about salem due to the trauma connected to her and the fact of her immortality that the ozma line of reincarnations had, which isnt entirely a bad thing. should he have tried to find a way to tell them she was immortal without disclosing his own personal traumas? absolutely, i dont disagree that he hadnt made brash decisions, that should have been made differently, but the sad truth is, is that ozpin chose to hide what he hid, but that one mistake (albeit, a large one) doesnt entirely make him a terrible person. ruby, however? her choice on telling james wasnt brash, it was blatantly impetuous. she barely thought and decided to lie on the spot, unless shed purposefully been internally planning for a long while to lie to him, and had a lie stored up to use should he have asked. that isnt okay, what so ever. the conversation ruby had with qrow eventually delvs into talking about summer, which isnt really important.

♥ when thinking about episodes 5 through 8, nothing particularly stands out to me as ruby blatantly lying. those episodes are mostly team rwby and jnr doing huntsman work, yang making a terrible decision and making blake talk for her, and r/enora turning into something i honestly really hate. episode 9 however, gets me thinking.

♥ in episode 9, the finally tell james that salem cant be killed, but ruby doesnt tell james, oscar does. a quick side note, i really like the fact that crwby had oscar tell james and not ruby, because oscar is the current (and hopefully final) reincarnation of ozma, and its a secret his past lives kept for a millennia. but! back to ruby. within this episode, before she decides they can finally tell james about salem (which, as you can tell, i believe they should have done instantly), ruby is preaching to james about how they can figure it out and that how they should all work together. this pisses me off because shes standing there, hiding one of the largest, if not the largest secret in the show, to a man who has done everything for her and her team. james trusted rwby, especially ruby, with everything he knew, gave them new weapons, clothes, a place to stay, food, etc. all for free because he trusted they wouldnt hide anything from them. another thing that gets me about ruby saying it was finally time to tell james, was that it seemed solely up to her to tell him or to chose when to tell him. it was up to the technically youngest in the group to chose when to tell james about salems immortality (i say technically, because oscar is the current reincarnation of a millennia old line, and i personally have seen him be wiser than ruby in this, weather hes more mature than her or not. physically, yes, oscar is the youngest. mentally? i really dont think hes the youngest in that regard). it doesnt make sense to me as to why everybody was trusting ruby with when to tell james. why wouldnt qrow tell him? qrows known james for years, weather they were close friends (that hug and sincerity tells me that they arent the bickering work partners v3 shaped them up to be) or not. qrow knows he can trust james because simply of how long theyve known each other. weiss knows she can trust james, hes been seen multiple times in the show defending her against jacques, even offering her a place at atlas academy (that bit to me seemed like james offering weiss a way to get away from jacques, because she would need to live at atlas to properly be a student, not the manor), he even said “shes the only one making any sense around here” after weiss got rightfully upset at the woman talking beacon down in volume 4. oscar knows he can trust james, simply because of his connection to ozpin. seeing as ozpin can access oscars memories, and its cannon that their memories merge, its safe to say that oscar was able to see who james used to be pre-fall of beacon, and to see the kind of man he was, as well as making his own judgement based on their first introduction together. so, why would these three, and the rest of the team traveling with ruby not tell james the truth? hell, qrow is a mother fucking spy. im pretty sure he would be able to tear james apart and figure out his intentions pretty easily. why couldnt qrow have just had a one on one conversation with james to make his own final call, as the fully fledged adult of the group? it doesnt make sense to me why they would trust ruby with this extremely important decision what so ever. 

♥ episode 10, there really isnt anything i have against ruby. shes fighting to protect mantle and is doing her current job, which is one of the few details i can appreciate, but thats about it. 

♥ episode 11 and 12 specifically piss me off, and not just about ruby, about nearly everybody involved. i understand rubys standing in this, saying that they need to stand their ground and fight salem head on, unlike they had in the past, i honestly probably would have said the same thing if i were her too. james had emotionally shut down at this point, i think that this is very clearly evident, especially seeing as the white sparkles in his eyes have dissipated, something we commonly see in the eyes of rwby characters to represent their humanity or emotional status. james is emotionally shut down, the ace-operatives have their own opinions on this situation which is entirely okay and valid, and they happen to be siding with james. blake is trying to take the calmer approach, most likely having noticed that if they lashed out like yang began to, it would go very bad very quick. weiss was in a state of semi-shock, her mind most likely naturally connecting their current situation with trauma and abuse she endured as a child (most prominently ; isolation). but how ruby handled going against james and the fight against the ace-operatives / specifically harriet, was down right wrong. she should not have jumped past james with her semblance to reveal james’ plan, which automatically escalated the situation from bad to even fucking worse. she yet again made a decision for herself and a group of people that can cost them their lives if things dont go their way (which, knowing how this show can be written sometimes? it will always go their way in the end), without thinking. i really dont feel i have to explain how spontaneous her choice on this is, especially because i know multiple people have covered it in better written posts. it essentially boils down to rubys blatantly reckless actions and absolutely moronic choices to do what they did. do not get me started on her line of “then you trained us” or the fact that all the ace-operatives walked into that fight with less aura than team rwby, which already gave them an unfair advantage. i really do not have the patience to fully type out and explain why i hate these two episodes with my entire being, but it mostly boils down to: nobody in this situation is right. not ream rwby, not james, not the ace-ops, very clearly not salem and her lackeys, not qrow choosing to fight 1v1v1, or cinder for a multitude of reasons. the only characters in these episodes i dont have a burning hatred for, be it temporarily or a fire i have a feeling will be burning for a while, is team jnr and oscar. they were trying their best in regards of what was best for everybody, oscar wanting to help james to the best of his ability. 

♥  tl;dr : basically? ruby rose in volumes 1 - 6 was actually a really enjoyable character and only had a few moments of “okay but why?” but everybody also has those moments. ruby rose in volume 7 turned into a hypocritical, blatantly rude and whiny little girl who i honestly cant really see as a good character at the moment at all, because of how she acted the entire volume. 

[backtoreal]

MY FAVORITE DRAMAS OF 2019 !

Hello everybody, I’m back for this annual drama pick !

Unlike last year, this year was good, not exquisite, but good. But, I’m still going to give you the best of the best, la crème de la crème ! Once again, this is only my humble opinion, and I might add, I can’t watch every kdrama of the year, so I guess this is quite a small list.

PS : I still can’t choose an order, so please, make your own ranking out of my choice ;)

The 2018 version of it !

Hotel del Luna (호텔 델루나)

Jang Man-Wol is the CEO of Hotel del Luna. She made a big error many years ago and, because of this, she has been stuck at Hotel del Luna. Jang Man-Wol is fickle, suspicious and greedy. Koo Chan-Sung, a sincere perfectionist but actually has a soft disposition, begins to work as a manager at Hotel del Luna, due to an unexpected case. The hotel's clientele consists of ghosts.

> Where to begin... I guess IU got me again this year (My Mister in 2018), but in a totally different role and kind of acting. I was not disappointed. This drama has a really good storyline, using modern days and history, and reality and myths and legends. This kind of mix works really well for me. All the cast was perfect and the two leading actors had a great chemistry, and it made me love Yeo Jin-Goo a little more. Plus, the scenery and special effects were really great ! AND let’s not forget the looks of Man-Wol, and the charisma of IU > PERFECT ! I guess this drama is in my top 3 !

Kingdom (킹덤)

10 days have passed since the King collapsed from an illness. Queen Jo and her father Chief State Councilor Jo Hak-Joo have forbidden anyone else to see the King. Even his own son Crown Prince Lee Chang is forbidden to see his father. But rumors spread that the King is dead. Crown Prince Lee Chang senses something sinister and sneaks into the King's palace. He sees a shadowy monster through a door and smells its foul stench, but he is discovered and escorted out of the palace. To find out what happened to the King, Crown Prince Lee Chang and Moo-Young travel to the Jiyulheon clinic in faraway Dongnae to see a physician. When they arrive, they discover that the clinic is in ruins and dead bodies are found under a building. A medical staff member Seo-Bi tells them that the dead they saw at the clinic are not dead and they will rise up soon to kill.

> If anyone asks, zombies are my thing, it’s been years, I literally dream of a zombie apocalypse (no, not really). As I’m not over Train to Busan, I was very excited to see zombies in a kdrama. And I’m not gonna lie, it was damn good ! And I was not very glad at first that the storyline happened in old time, because like I already said, I don’t really like historical drama. But this one made it to the list. Great zombies, great actors , great all ... I guess it’s Netflix ! (Mr.Sunshine from 2018)

My Strange Hero (복수가 돌아왔다)

When Kang Bok-Su was a high school student, he was falsely accused of committing violence and kicked out of school. This was caused by his first love Son Soo-Jeong and a male student Oh Se-Ho. Kang Bok-Su is a now an adult, but his life has not gone smoothly. To get revenge on Son Soo-Jeong and Oh Se-Ho, he returns to the same high school as a student. The environment at the school has changed and Kang Bok-Su gets involved in unexpected cases.

> In a lighter tone, my strange hero is a great drama with a great story and great acting from Yoo Seung-Ho, it kind of made me want to follow his project in the future. The story is a classic revenge one, but it really made me want to have justice for Bok-su, it made me attach to this character. Great drama to relax and enjoy the love story.

Touch your heart  (진심이 닿다)

Oh Yoon-Seo is a popular actress. She is famous for her beautiful appearance, but her acting is bad. She gets involved in a scandal with the son from a chaebol family. Her acting career declines precipitously. Oh Yoon-Seo hears that a famous screenwriter wants her to play the lead female role for a drama series. The character works as a secretary for a lawyer. To gain experience for the role, Oh Yoon-Seo is required to work as a lawyer's secretary for a few months. Meanwhile, Kwon Jung-Rok is an attorney for a law firm. He is arrogant and cold-hearted. One day, his boss asks Kwon Jung-Rok to let actress Oh Yoon-Seo work as his secretary for 3 months. He is not happy about the situation, but he has to accept.

> Basic Kdrama trope, but this one worked on me. We can say that Goblin greatly influenced my choice, the chemistry between Lee Dong Wook and Yoo In Na is beyond everything. But my heart goes all the way for Lee Dong Wook ! Anyway this drama really shows some deep characters and I loved it ! Bonus : it’s funny as heck !

Leverage (Korea)  (레버리지:사기조작단)

Lee Tae-Joon is an excellent insurance fraud investigator. An unexpected case changes his life. He quits his job and recruits talented criminals, that he once caught, to form an elite fraud team. The team includes Hwang Soo-Kyung , Ko Na-Beyol , Roy Ryu  and Jung Ui-Sung . They scam wealthy criminals and return the money that they stole to the victims.

> As a huge fan of the original US version, I was forced to watch this one, and let me say that, for once, the Korean version did not disappoint ! It takes the best of the original series and adapt it to Korean standards, and it works very well ! We can feel a great union between the actors who plays the team ! 

He is Psychometric (사이코메트리 그녀석)

Lee An has a special psychometry ability. Whenever he touches someone, he can read that person's memory. Using his psychometry ability, Lee An wants to take out evil people in the world. Yoon Jae-In is a girl with a scar in her mind. She tries to hide that. Lee An and Yoon Jae-In happen to meet and they struggle to solve cases.

> I was never a fan of Park Jin Young, but damn this boy got me ! He really has a great future in acting in front of him ! But all the cast were amazing. The story for once was really outside the box, I think that’s why I liked it so much ! Kudos to Da-Som whom I hope to see in more dramas !

The Light in Your Eyes (눈이 부시게)

Kim Hye-Ja hopes to become an announcer. She is honest and has a positive personality, but she suddenly becomes a 70-year-old woman. 70-year-old Kim Hye-Ja gains the special ability to manipulate time. Lee Joon-Ha wants to become a reporter. He has worked hard to achieve his dream, but he now lives his life hopelessly. He gets involved with Kim Hye-Ja.

> You can never guess how much I cried at the end of this drama ! You should really watch this drama, for the great acting, but also the story, a brilliant and well made one, I think you never really expected the ending, it tells how much the directing of this drama was good. This drama is definitely a revelation for me !

Extraordinary You (어쩌다 발견한 하루)

Eun Dan-O is a student at a prestigious high school. Her family is wealthy, but Eun Dan-O has a heart disease. Her fiance Baek Kyung attends the same prestigious high school. She likes him a lot, but he does not like her at all. Suddenly, Eun Dan-O has short-term memory loss and she can see what will happen in the near future. She gets confused by her symptoms. Then, Jinmiche, from the school cafeteria, tells Eun Dan-O that she is a character in the comic "Secret" like everybody else there. Eun Dan-O learns that her character is not even a main character, but rather an extra and she doesn't have much time to live. Eun Dan-O is stunned, but she decides she wants to find her own true first love and not someone written by the comic writer. One day, she falls down the school stairs. She feels her back touch the back of another student, among a group of male students. Her heart suddenly starts to flutter. Eun Dan-O wants to find the male student who made her heart flutter. She eventually finds the student and he is her classmate. He is a character that doesn't have a name. They get close and Eun Dan-O names him "Ha-Roo."

> I really did not expect to like this, why ? Because the basic story of this drama has been already this a thousand times : high school crush, bullying, ... But the fact that it happens in a comic really changed it all, plus, the scenography is really pretty, and the acting is on point when you watch them shift of characters ! You should really watch this !

Search : WWW (검색어를 입력하세요: WWW)

The story of three women in their late thirties — Bae Ta-mi, Cha Hyeon and Song Ga-Gyeong — who work in the top two competitive web portal companies: Unicon and Barro. This drama is about the conflicts, the wins, and losses one experiences when working. It will follow the story of 21st century women, who chose to not be a wife or a mother and successfully work without discrimination or impediments.

Bae Ta-Mi works as a director for a big web portal company. She is in her late 30's and is quite competitive. With her competitiveness, Bae Ta-Mi enjoys success. The methods she uses to win has her wondering if she is doing the right thing with her life. 

Cha Hyeon also works as a director for a big web portal company, but as the direct competitor of Ta-mi, she’s also quite competitive, fierce, but also has a soft side, a side that she only shows to Ga-Gyeong her superior and friend.

Song Ga-Gyeong, is a rigid director of Ta-Mi in Unicon and the daughter in law of the CEO of KU Group, a big society who wants to influence the politics via Unicon. She is used by her mother in law but quickly became a fierce woman who stands for herself.

> First ... THREE STRONG WOMEN AS LEADS ! What can go wrong ? What can do better than this ! I don’t know my dear friends, I don’t know... If you ask, yes there is a love story (it won’t be a kdrama otherwise duh !), but the main couple isn’t really that great, and I really didn’t care about that. I loved the show for the power that these three women shows, and how it’s natural for women to rule the world ! (Yes I said it !) Bonus : openly showing that some characters could be bi (Cha Hyeon), and it show a very natural side of people that often people (especially in Korea) think it’s deviant (not shy about expressing their feelings, implying sex scene, etc ...). Great great drama !

  Honourable mention (but did not make it to the list) : Romance is a Bonus book (My love for Lee Jong-Suk did not help unfortunately ! The female lead was hard to like), Her private life (great drama, great actors but the fangirl story is a little cringey), Melting me softly (Nice but weirdly made love story...)

That’s it for this year !

Please feel free to recommend me some 2019 kdrama ! ☺️

2018 ; 2019

[stopandimagineloveforever]

The reason I’m petrified for both C & D.

RM/EP/BS/MM - that crowd is bad news. Toxic. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following was written by @rougedraconteur (was on a post I’m unable to reblog)

I know I am poison to you folks now, because I refuse to swallow the blue pill that is being sold to us, and just shut up, but this is something I have been following for years, and partly why I hate and will always fight RM.  yes, I have an agenda, but it is not against D or C or their relationship, whatever it might be either now, in the past, or in the future, or their careers and how and with whom they “choose” to work, or for what reasons, although I am allowed to be disappointed, at what seems to have transpired, and express that.  What mature and knowlegeable adults do in pursuit of their careers is their business, IF they do that of their own free will, without blackmail or coercion, but children and youth should be protected, even from their own naive ambitions.  Others in this fandom that have been dumped on lately, unfairly IMO, saw this quite early on, as well, and were very troubled by the association, especially for C, who had seemed to make an effort to break free from the worst effects of this group, having seen and suffered enough.  Co/ry, who had suffered a troubled childhood, and was still struggling with the same demons and being victimized because of it by RM, seemed to support C in this, being present behind the scenes when C was “outed.”  But something, or someone, pulled C back in, perhaps and most likely unwittingly, perhaps thinking they could control the situation they had both been thrown into. Bless his heart, love is hard sometimes, people are sorry they cause suffering to those they love through the mistakes they make.  The heart wants what it wants.

I first noticed C’s melancholy when he was Esquire’s Man of the Year for his birth year, for their huge Anniversary Issue, and he expressed some very dark musings that seemed to reflect something going very wrong.  After that, I soon  saw C, with W, at a fund-raiser for Pus/sy Ri/ot, hosted by both Emmer/rich and Sin/ger.  the rumors were already out about the two and their underage parties, and it troubled me to have C there, openly, with W, smiling and mentioned in their article about the event, with photographs.  This was a children’s book author, with suspected child molesters, willingly being photographed, and C’s team would NEVER let that happen.  So, why did it?  Because C ALLOWED it, for some reason.

D’s latest movie director Em/merich is a close friend of Sin/ger, also, as is RM.  They host and frequent the same “parties” for up and coming young “actors,” often arranged by MM, with the help of all those he hustles. I think this is the way the “gay mafia” does business, after watching this “pattern” for so long.  CH pretty much confirmed it, when he came out, and others in the industry have said it made life even harder for all these closeted actors in “Camp Podwall” or in connection with these power players, instead of better, after that all came out. CH would not shut up, he thought things would change, if people would listen and respond in strong measures.  But it didn’t work out that way.  The whole operation clamped down even tighter on their people, and ramped up their abuse, as punishment for anyone daring to step out of line so openly.  D and CH had a confrontational conversation during that time that CH was so troubled, or so it appeared in one series of photos they shared at a fashion shoot.

The rule of thumb seems to be you pay if you want to play, the older folks in power call all the shots, they shape your career, who you connect with, how and why, what parties you attend, and with whom, what roles you take, and when, or they blackball you out and shut you down.  If you play the game, stay in line, you are “allowed” to progress in the industry, move up the ladder, gain power and control over your own life and protect your loved ones life, but it’s a rough ride.  It’s a control game, all the way, vicious and dangerous.  The folks at the top (Gef/fen, Dil/ler, their close associates, with RM moving up with his latest deal) are just too rich and powerful to be brought down, it seems, although Sin/ger, MM, and some other more well-established actors seem to be in danger of exposure and ruin, one with a new movie coming out this holiday season.  Thes higher ups will protect them until they can’t, then cut them off rather than go down with them. An expose story with a major magazine seems to be in the works, again, but it appears to have been slowed, if not shut down completely.  This could topple some big names, and could have forced some gay bigwigs into “playing nice” with some of their people to keep things quiet.  But fandom and social media, with their spending habits supporting their shows, concerts, movies, artists, was always an unpredictable and uncontrollable curbing agent and pushback against these folks, and somehow, through paid social media bots, they have been able to mostly shut us down, too.  Like the free press, we have been severely compromised, using various tactics, much as they do their actors, in order to control us.

There have been lots of blinds lately, you can believe them or not, but they explain a lot of questionable things I have seen since 2012 with MM, his parties, and his small group gatherings, well-documented with photos, of Glee actors, including Co/ry and Ma/rk, Har/ry and Ch/ord, as well as D, during Glee, around Hollywood and NYC, at London locations, foreign tropical locales, and showing up in Washington, D.C., with his “parties” during the Washington Correspondent’s Dinner.  He and EP are very close.  There are other Camp Pod/wall regulars, such as J.C. Cha/sez, and my warning sirens go off around them, too.   Recent rumors connected D romantically with JC, in his early years in Hollywood, and C with RM.  those were not removed, as any good PR team would do, such as C’s.  I know C has admitted more than once that 2012 was a very difficult time for him. His second book was written that year, and reflects that mood.  

Whenever I see MM, or EP, around either of the two, or RM or Goopchuk, with them, it creeps me out.  The worst was one photo, maybe during Hed/wig?  MM has D in a tight hug, and he is grinning, although I would call it leering, and directly addressing C, using his name in the text, as in, look what I have here.  While lots of folks in the fandom saw it as a confirm, and cute, and those in the other fandom saw it as a rebuke, here’s the real star, D, you are not so great, C, I saw it as a threat to C. Don’t make trouble, don’t make waves, do as you are told, or someone gets hurt.  So, yeah, if you take the red pill, these are all crazy talk, and ridiculous, when we just want to be happy and like things and be fans.  Most folks do not want to go that deep, and it is easier and a lot less scary to just call people like me crazy.  But we once had a part to play that posed a threat to those powers.  Those people have mostly left the fandom, shut their eyes and swallowed the cough syrup, or yes, became fierce C stans, because he seems to be a fighter like us.  I love D, he is amazing and talented beyond belief, but I would walk through fire for C.

I think you might be right that they are using these two and KM, allowing two “out” actors to use their social media narrative to push back against the “forced closeting” rumors, and using them to “clean up” their image, and protect the predators.  But perhaps a mutually beneficial deal HAS been negotiated, by D and C, and KM as well, who knows all the Gl/ee secrets, as all parties know too much, and have some leverage there.  But these are very bad people, criminals, surrounding them, forcing their hand, using them in many cases and involving them in suspect activities, and while I will continue to support these two every way I possibly can, I cannot and will not add  to the cheerleading, praise, financial support, and widespread whitewashing of these awful people and their projects with D, and C if it comes to that,  thus allowing them to continue unabated and unrepentant.  People brutally burned Ma/rk for his dark side, but these guys, because they are powerful and influential, are okay and get not just a pass, but a love fest, from the fans?  Hell to the no.

[rosiemotene]

As Black communities from across the globe, we need to take ownership of our talents, acknowledgements​ and celebrate our excellence and achievements. My three passions in life are Womxn, Africa and the arts, so I needed to share a great initiative called ‘These Dam Blacks’. After my exhilarating experience of being part of Abantu Book festival in December 2018, where my autobiography, Reclaiming The Soil was featured and Lebo Mashile moderated a panel, where I shared the stage with Mme Thuli Nhlapo. The three-day event included meeting with some of Africa’s most prolific writers, authors, publishers, speakers, and book lovers. The event created space for phenomenal discussions on and off the stage. One of the great conversations that I had was with Sabelo Mcinziba on his involvement​ and projection​ of creating safe Balck spaces. I recently caught up with him to chat about another powerfully​ Black initiative.

This is what he shared: ‘These Dam Blacks’ came about as a result of a need to create spaces of affirmation for each other as black people particularly but not limited to the cities. There is a great sense of alienation that we go through as black people in this world and in the urban spaces especially so this space is an intervention to our sociability. We wanted a space that would affirm us in all of our 50 Shades of Blacks as we come from various experiences and have different ways to black but we black nonetheless in a white world – so out of necessity, the space had to be openly black and inviting to different experiences of blackness and thus it is a safe space and must be.

The emphasis on Dam! We made a call out to people to gather at Emmarentia Dam which is also where we derived our name which is also a play on the word Damn as we believe that our position in the world as black people is the position of the Damned as Frantz Fanon coined it in Les Damnes de la terre, literally translating to the damned of the earth or as popularly known in English, The Wretched of the Earth. However, we have decided to use our agency to do something about our damnation hence the creation of These Dam Blacks as an affirming, collaborative and networking space characterized by a free-spirited and easy going approach that is different to the usual suit and tie networking events. The location itself on a park by a dam, on a Sunday afternoon with blankets and picnic baskets and games for adults and children, is something we think is a rare or unique contribution of These Dam Blacks.

What can we expect? We pride ourselves in that we are a family friendly space (we have a Kiddies’ Corner) and believe that your development as a person can and must be in community with others. For people who do not have family in the cities as is often the case as a result of the migrant labour system or even upward mobility, These Dam Blacks becomes a family to attendees and this comes from their own testimonies.

How the Dam Blacks started.

At the first gathering of These Dam Blacks, five individuals were endorsed by the gathering to form the organising committee for subsequent events and this group is still intact doing exactly that, with this being the 6th Edition in Johannesburg starting from 2017 and one edition in Cape Town which has its own committee and other places are welcome to expand the network by connecting with us and set up a chapter wherever they may be and we have had interest in Limpopo, North West, the Eastern Cape, and KZN quite prominently and we are sure this number will increase as the brand grows.

Please share a beautiful moment that you experienced at one of the previous events?

A beautiful moment will differ for every Dam Black but for me, it was the overall success of the gathering and the explosive spirit that is the manifestation of black love. It is something that is hard to describe but when it is felt, it is unmistakable. That spirit has endured that on two occasions when we have been rained on, other Dam Blacks have opened their homes to us to host the event there and in both instances, it was absolutely beautiful as that opening of the homes comes as a result of opened hearts and a love for oneself and each other. So that ‘beautiful moment’ continues for me as space exists because it is the space that gives us the power to carry on and the magic that we are as black people given all of what we have been through. 



Which Dam Black should attend? As mentioned, These Dam Place is an open space with a very relaxed atmosphere. So the invitation goes to all black people and it is a wonderful opportunity for entrepreneurs as they get to meet a potential client base. Given the open nature of the invitation, any entrepreneur who is an owner or seller of black-owned products is welcome to space. We collaborate strongly with BrownSense and they advertise These Dam Blacks on their platform. We also collaborate with Buy Black Mzansi and they equally share on their platform and other online based African markets are part of the broader network of These Dam Blacks. We invite entrepreneurs to set up an hour before start time. We are not exactly a market but are open to marketers so we do not charge for space as other platforms would if they are having a market. Because it is an open and easy going space, we often deal with entrepreneurs as they arrive if they did not ask prior questions or confirm attendance themselves. As things stand, we will have the Abantu Bookstore so all the people who could not buy books at the Abantu Book Festival will get an opportunity to buy at These Dam Blacks and we will have some free books on promo.

Food and drink are provided. In the past, we have hired a catering company but we have also catered by cooking at a Dam Black kitchen offered by any of the patrons. We also encourage people to bring and share but principally we cater as we understand that some people do not have the means to bring and share and we do not want people to stay away from the space because they cannot afford this. The basis of this comes from our traditional systems as African people. If you host an event, have the entire means to host and as and when people contribute, it is to add to make it better but if one cannot afford, they must still attend because “Nongenankomo uyayidl’inyama.” – ‘Even the one without a cow eat the meat”.

This weeks program:

The set times are 12pm-5pm but the practice is that people will start arriving and mingling around 12 and we start typically an hour later once the majority of the people have arrived. We have never ended at 5 pm as people want to stay on till it’s quite dark around 8 pm and very often people organise drinks for themselves afterward with their new friends and old friends.

This week we can expect a wine education session by a black womxn winemaker. The day will include a circle where we introduce ourselves to each other before the organic networking session later. There will also be entertainment by two amazing local poets.

There will also be a break for eating and drinking all black produced everything and have a conversation about how we move supporting black business beyond end-user/consumers status but also investors. Other areas of discussion will be on the Black Panther movie in all its complexities and meanings to us a people.

If the heavens open up, what is plan B? If it rains, we will move to one of the houses nearby as we have done in the past and this has not affected the quality of our events.

A closing note from Sabelo: After all the black love, we hug (don’t wear sweet perfumes please) goodbyes and wake up on Monday to make use of the strategic contacts you made at These Dam Blacks.

These Dam Blacks! As Black communities from across the globe, we need to take ownership of our talents, acknowledgements​ and celebrate our excellence and achievements.

[tumblunni]

Mannnnn I just cannot get over how many great well-developed relationships there are within the Rune Factory 4 cast! Its just great how much all the different love interests interact with each other outside of their romance route, and how all the non-romanceable characters are still an equally big presence by being family/mentors/employers/best friends/etc to the love interests and to each other and everyone has a job role in the town and they have so many great interactions and just GAHHHH its so great!! Its like one big family made of families made of families then you marry into the family and the family and also the family perhaps. THEN YOU HAVE A CUTE CHILD. aaaaaa

Anyway.. umm.. lol... Yeah THIS IS BUNNI JUST FLAILING AT HOW GREAT THE GAME IS

ALL THE FAMS:

Ventuswill the mentor lady best friend/team mum/LITERALLY THE GOD OF THIS COUNTRY AND A GIANT DRAGON man i just cry forever for her aaaa Everybody’s own unique love for her, and how she kinda unites us all as a family aaaa The butler family coworker trio who met each other because of her! I really like to see it as clorica and vishnal having a brother sister relationship, they dont get any particular big scenes together but they just seem to be such cute friends who never have any of the rivalry you’d expect when theyre both competing as volkanon’s students. VOLKANON IS LIKE YOUR GRANDPA AND HE IS THE BEST CHARACTER The whole restaurant fam! You get to see it expand as the story goes on! And aaaa its just so heartwarming that porcoline adopts all these random homeless people and aaaa!!! DYLAS LEARNED TO COOK. THEY ALL LOVE THEIR STUPID TWIRLY GOOFBALL DAD. And its so nice that these very different personalities end up coming together and being like siblings when they probably wouldnt have befriended each other if not for this random stroke of chance. Its just so cute seeing margaret looking out for her new brothers, and dylas being so polite and formal to arthur, and arthur just being all ‘haha i dont know anything about having a loving family what a rare novelty’ *constantly crying inside* And they bicker sometimes and when they team up theyre a super powerful force, and theyre all like the parents to porcoline’s childishness and aaaaa super talented restaurant fam, super colourful quartet of hugs aaaa THEY ARE MY FAVOURITE OKAY And Forte + Kiel adorable siblings with the unique plot and semi tragic aspect of living alone together at a young age and each trying to take the place of their deceased parents and protect each other And then Bado is like their weird adoptive uncle who’s lived next door since back when their parents were alive, and promised to keep them safe. but he’s kind of a wreck of a man who’s perpetually messing up his silly get rich quick schemes but DEEP AT HEART HE CAAAAARES! but still he is kind of a mess and would probably turn up drunk on their couch half the time. i love him he reminds me of sirius black if he ate del boy from Only Fools And Horses to absorb his strength And then there’s Illuminata who’s like Bado’s evil twin kinda?? They should have more interactions, theyre the bad influence grownups duo XD And I just love the underrated relationship between her and her ‘sidekick’ amber, and how she’s kinda like a big sister who doesnt wanna be called one. I totally only have you here to serve my nefarious purposes! Umm, I mean, my purposes of justice!! And then she’s often playing the cool big sis to all the various female characters in the town, even though at the same time she’s also part of the ‘adults who need a mom friend’ group XD I think margaret and forte actually win the crowd of the true mom friends even though theyre not the oldest (I also like that they have an unlikelu friendship together, though i wish if margaret is allowed to have a canonical gay crush then why isnt she allowed to be a gay marriage option...) And then Lin Fa and Xiao Mei kinda dont stand out as much cos theyre more of a very normal mother and daughter, beyond Lin Fa just being this spacey super nice but super clumsy person. She’s not quite the funny parent-child like porco and co, but she’s funny in her own way cos of how cheerful and positive she is about all her failures. Xiao Mei got all the common sense! Its also nice and cute how Xiao Mei is physically clumsy but super competant and mature, while her mum is perfectly elegant yet completely scatterbrained. And they’re both totally huggable, Xiao Mei dont be jealous that everyone has crushes on your mum! I feel so bad when she’s all ‘i’ll never succeed cos i cant be cute in the same way as her’, as if there’s only one definition of feminine beauty or whatever. CAN YOU NOT SEE YOUR MUM HAS FLAWS TOO. you are powerful togetherrrrrr! i am just so envious seeing these characters with supportive mums that’re like their best friend and they can talk about everything together ^_^ And then there’s the doctor family with the super lovey dovey married couple of funnyness and mushy mush, and they adopt some orphans too~! EVERYONE ADOPTS EVERYBODY: THE GAME. I love seeing the cold and distant Dolce warm up to them and regain her faith that she wont be hurt if she loves someone again. Also Pico is very cute and hilarious! Even if again I get very annoyed at this game having so much queerbaiting, lol. I kinda laughed at the wiki saying dolce and pico were ‘like sister’, i mean seriously?? Pico is like your typical ‘looks like a child but is really 100′ love interest and dolce is the poor harem show protagonist who never asked for this XD I do like though that even if it seems dolce very much doesnt requite pico’s feelings, theyre still best friends either way. Pico’s super comedic flirting attempts seem to come off like she’s completely aware that dolce doesnt love her back, and she just wants to make some humour out of the situation to let dolce know she still cares about her even if they’re never gonna date. Its nice, we dont often see relationships like that in fiction, a childhood friend who confess a crush, gets turned down, and it actually ends positively and they remain friends. Its just a shame it had to be like... one of the few openly LGBTQ characters in the game, and nobody is ever allowed to date anybody or have a happy ending or be a romance route or even mention the word gay, even as theyre constantly being incredibly vocal about how its canon these characters have crushes on each other. gahhhhh. I mean we literally have doug and dylas proposing to each other and confessing their love but LOL HA its just a ~wacky misunderstanding~ but btw lets just rub it in that they are VERY MUCH intended to be seen as gay by the audience but theyre not ~really~ gay even when we say they are and GAHHH okay sorry im getting offtopic now :P Anyway its really sad that Pico is stuck as the same unchanging ghost child while her best friend grows up and marries someone else. And man, she had to spend all those years guarding monster form dolce until someone was able to free her, and we dont even know how pico died so her life could have even more tragedy in it. After all that I guess its a relief that she can be this comic relief jerk-with-a-heart-of-gold manzai duo partner to dolce and also like the freeloading friend on her metahphorical ghost couch. And its nice how much the doctor couple completely accept ‘dolce’s friend’ and are some of the few people who never remotely worry about her haunting the town. And then AAAAA there’s the four guardians themselves who’re like a family cos they were all people who were like family to ventuswill in different time periods, and then met each other for the first time when they were purified from their monster forms and bonded over how much they all love the same friend. And theyre such a badass quartet of cool monsterfolks!! And I like that they have lil relationships inside the quartet, like how dolce and amber are polar opposite sunshine and grumpiness but dolce secretly likes her a lot more than she lets on, and how leon likes to tease dylas but also kinda be his wingman. And I like how leon takes this role to a lot of the other batchelors too, he’s this totally shameless frat boy big brother figure XD “HEY PROTAGONIST DO YOU WANNA HEAR ABOUT DOUG’S SEX LIFE” And then aaaa doug and granny blossom AAAAAA granny blossom is probably the character who gets the least scenes, backstory, and general focus, but I still love her a lot. And they have a good dynamic together! I like that it starts off seeming like just a completely normal grandma granson relationship, but then you learn later that he’s adopted, and that he actually began as a spy for the evil empire who realized the error of his ways after infiltrating the town and finding so much love inside it. And then he’s just so scared cos blossom’s illness might bring her to an early grave, and he’s always being disobedient and rebellious because he wants to do anything to protect her even if she tells him not to put himself at risk and AAAAAA

why are there so many amazing fams and theres even so many small hints of characters who maybe only interact once or twice and then there’s room to headcanon even more fams and AAAAAA and the protagonist’s place in the complex web of fams is up to you to decide!! ITS LIKE EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED IN A GAME

oh and randomly I liked that xiao mei’s father isnt a major character in the game, but there’s not any tragic reason or anything. he’s just a travelling merchant and lin fa is very accepting of her husband being gone off on trips for long periods of time, she has every confidence he will never stray away from her and she supports him pursuing his travelling dreams! and also it was funny how his one brief appearance has him with the generic traveller 3d model, to point out how much he isnt a main character compared to his wife XD and it was just really cute how happy everyone was when he visited, and how the player accidentally helps improve their family business! and aaa the backstory story about arthur’s mother is SO DAMN SAD, and dolce’s biological parents who she left behind when she sacrificed her life, and just AAAAA even the tiny one-line-only minor fams are such quality fams FAMS GAME REVENGE OF THE FAMS

[innickysmind]

Four Stories that inspired me

Throughout every reader’s life there will always be certain books that mark them for life. From the first book they read to the one that they will consider their favourite, even if that certain book might not be perceived as good by the general public or critics, the reader will ignore the flaws and love it for what it is. I would like to explore four books that are on that list. I will choose to explore how the first book that has influenced me to have a passion for reading stories, how the second book has changed my perspective on what you can create and made me want to write myself,  how the third one helped me cope with my own problems In my life and lastly the fourth book which started it all for me.

 The Spook’s Apprentice by Joseph Delaney [1]

Everyone had their first book that set them on the path of reading, especially when young. In recent times one of the most well-known book that applies to this criteria is ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone[2]’ by J. K. Rowling. Well, for me it was ‘The Spook’s Apprentice’ by Joseph Delaney. This first book in the Wardstone Chronicles presented the perfect world for my 10-year-old mind to explore fantasy and horror. It made me want to become a Spook, someone who fights the dark side of the world and bring safety to those around them and it all started with the warning on the back of the edition I found at the library: ‘’ Warning: Not to be Read after Dark ’’. Joseph Delaney created a world filled with diverse lore and monsters. Certain scenes can be considered horrifying when read by an adult, but Delaney’s storytelling makes it perfect for kids, always keeping the hope alive, that no matter what things will turn out ok. That is what lead me to reading.

 The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss [3]

Patrick Rothfuss’ debut novel ‘The Name of the Wind’ I can safely consider my favourite book of all time. This beautifully written high fantasy story that debuted in 2007 changed my life and set me on the path of a writer. Rothfuss has an amazing talent for writing, making the reader live the story. His prose which can be almost called poetry is easy but quite powerful. His characters seemed so real to me that I’ve openly wept through the harsher parts of the story. I personally never knew that the written word could be so strong, poignant, sharp, and melodic. The name of The Wind has brought me to my knees, wishing to become a writer myself, strive to become an amazing writer one day, to express such powerful emotions to the reader as Rothfuss did. I think the best example of his writing talent is shown when the main character Kvothe plays the lute at The Eolian. Rothfuss expertly writes the scene so well you could actually hear the music in your head and you’re part of the audience under the same spell woven by Kvothe.

 Jumper by Stephen Gould [4]

In my teens I had a lot of personal issues, did not have the best home life. I’ve had mental breakdowns, anxiety attacks, nights where I’ve cried myself to sleep, moments of utter depression which resulted in two suicide attempts. Sometimes live gives you the worst hand and you have to work with it. I did not know how to relieve myself of dark thoughts, of self-questioning and self-doubt. This is where Stephen Gould’s ‘Jumper’ jumps in (excuse my pun). The story starts with Davy, the main character, when he was little. Davy did not have a happy home himself (though different circumstances from mine). He had an abusive father and got bullied constantly. Now you might think, why ‘had’? Well Davy discovered that he has the ability to teleport and be free of his troubles. That to me was the perfect escapist dream. I’ve lived through Davy wishing to experience the same freedom that he obtained. Of course, trouble always rears its head in, you can’t escape it forever, but for Davy it was easier to cope with it and grow, something I’ve also done every year of my life. Even now whenever I feel down I take my copy of ‘Jumper’ or any of its sequels and read through it and let myself relax.

 Nobody’s Boy [5](Sans Famille) by Hector Malot

‘Singur Pe Lume’, known as ‘Nobody’s Boy’ in English or in its original title ‘Sans Famille’ by the French writer Hector Malot was written in 1878. This classic work of fiction was the first ever book that I have read. I could not have chosen a better book to begin reading. Such a powerful and emotional work left me speechless. I was very young when I read it, less than ten years old. This book is not meant to be for ten-year olds. Rémi’s journey through a harsh harsh life taught me humility, kindness, generosity, and bravery. I can still clearly remember the night I started it and finishing it by the morning. I cried so hard during the cave in scene that I woke up my mom. For the first time in my life she did not get annoyed at me for staying late, she knew what I was going through when reading the story. Singur Pe Lume changed my life for the best and has influenced what I personally consider my favourite books of all time. It definitely had an influence on my enjoyment of ‘The Name of The Wind’.

[1] Joseph Delaney and David Wyatt, The Spooks Apprentice (London: Red Fox, 2009).

[2] J. K Rowling and Jim Kay, Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone (London [etc.]: Bloomsbury, 2017).

[3] Patrick Rothfuss, The Name Of The Wind (New York: Daw, 2017).

[4] Steven Gould, Jumper (New York: Starscape, 2002).

[5] Hector Malot, Singur Pe Lume (Bucharest: Adevărul Holding, 2015).

[thestrategicmom]

Lessons from Kindergarten on Balancing Your Purpose with Motherhood:

If there was ever any doubt, mothers at least know that being a mom isn’t easy. While motherhood is filled with countless joys, it involves caring for and developing a life that’s dependent on you for survival. This requires love and countless sacrifices, which can often result in perpetual feelings of exhaustion ranging from fatigue to complete burnout. 

Regardless of your age, how many children you have, where you live, or how insanely capable or talented you are, it isn’t always easy being your best self when you’re consistently under pressure to live up to unrealistic expectations (self-imposed or otherwise). Simply put, the struggle is real!

On my journey to be more intentional with my life, and the constant juggling act of managing personal and career ambitions with trying to be an amazing mom, I was reminded of Robert Fulghum’s best-selling book “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.” 

This insightful book is a set of essays about the enduring life lessons that are taught and/or reinforced in kindergarten, and how they are relevant throughout all stages of our life. Robert’s list of the ‘things he learned in kindergarten” are simple, but fundamental rules like:

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don’t hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don’t take things that aren’t yours.

Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life—learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.

Be aware of wonder….

While most of the above list is self-explanatory and one of the items on his list is about living a balanced life, as someone who’s ‘been to kindergarten’ on two separate occasions, as a student and again as a teacher, I began to ask myself, “What if the fundamentals of balancing motherhood with personal development and growth were also grounded in the lessons we learned in kindergarten?”

As I’ve outlined below, the simple answer is...yes, they are or, at a minimum, they could be.

Be Present…

I can still remember being so excited to say “Present!” in Mrs. Gandy’s kindergarten class when she announced my name during roll-call! However, if I fast forward to my current reality, I realize how often I’ve been the very opposite. Being present is all about being more focused and engaged in the now, rather than focusing on what’s to come or what has to be done in the future. Which isn’t to say you shouldn’t worry about those things, but it’s about making a conscious decision to quiet the noise of your mind and focus on who or what is in front of you.

So, make a conscious effort to ‘mark yourself present’ during the moments of your life:

Start small - Try being present for two or three minutes at a time, and build from there. 

Compartmentalize - Focus on what’s most important in the moment.

When you’re home, rather than focusing on the tv or your phone, focus on your beautiful child or your significant other, focus on the fleeting intimate moments between you that can never be fully captured in words or with a photograph.

When you’re at work or serving your personal passions, rather than focusing on the clock, focus on the task at hand, focus on working with your team, focus on solving that next business problem or listening to a client or customer voice their needs.

As your kindergarten teacher would say, use your five senses - Being present in the moment is about embracing and connecting with what you’re seeing, what you’re smelling, what you’re touching, hearing, or tasting so that you can truly experience your life.

Life is made up of billions and billions of moments, if our goal is to live a purposeful and intentional life, then we must embrace what life has to offer by being intentional, present and attentive to our purpose in as many of those moments as possible.

Celebrate the Small Wins… 

Being a kindergarten teacher for two years, I saw first hand the power and importance of positive reinforcement. If a child walked quietly down the hall, they received a sticker. If a child learned to read a new word, they received a special cheer. If a child answered a math problem correctly, they were told to kiss their brains. As children, our wins were celebrated, no matter how small. 

Unfortunately as adults, we often over look the small victories focusing only on big things like birthdays, anniversaries, or that new raise or promotion, but as busy moms, we have to celebrate our small wins:

Successfully make it to daycare minutes before the pick up deadline? Give yourself a pat on the pack.

Beast your presentation at work? Give yourself a cheer.

Somehow fit going to the gym into your jam-packed schedule of work and home to-dos? Clap for yo’ damn self. You deserve to be applauded!

Acknowledging and celebrating your victories boosts self-confidence, incentivizes desired behaviors, and motivates us to reach further and accomplish more.

Use Your Words aka Don’t be Afraid to Ask for Help… 

As moms, we have to be masters of multitasking, whether it’s holding your child in one arm while you complete a task with the other or dashing from one thing to the next. We’re constantly planning and preparing for things we need to do or pick up, places we need to be and people we need to see, with our children being a key part of how we decide what we need to do and how we need to do it. 

However, as the old African proverb says, it takes a village to raise a child!

I’m extremely fortunate to have my husband who’s a phenomenal partner and helpmate, but even with his support, and the occasional support of others, I still often feel overwhelmed and overworked.

However, what I’ve learned from my experience as a mom trying to balance a meaningful life within the home with a purposeful life outside of the home is: (1) moms and especially single moms are real life superheroes; and (2) all moms, regardless of how much support they have from family or partners, need to learn to ask for help. 

I don’t know where this notion came from that, in order for women to “have it all,” they need to “do it all” and “be everything to everybody,” but it isn't healthy or attainable, and it needs to end now!

Use your words freely and openly to ask for help, to ask for support, and to ask for guidance and advice. If you don’t communicate your needs at home, at work, and everywhere in between then they more than likely won’t be met. While moms (especially single moms) are real-life superheroes, the reality is, none of us are superhuman and even if we were, superheroes need help from time to time (Have you seen the Avengers?). We all need support, we all need allies, but most importantly, we all need help.

Regardless of what you’ve heard, asking for help isn’t weak or defeatist, it’s brave, empowering, and an absolute necessity to reach our potential  as moms, professionals, and human beings!

Sharing is Caring…

Sharing continues to become increasingly more important in our society and culture. From the explosion of social media and the sharing economy to the countless companies looking to promote more knowledge sharing and collaboration across employee groups, everyone is trying to get in on the sharing movement. While I’m sure our five-year-old selves didn’t explore the philosophical meaning of sharing is caring, sharing is caring is all about offering our tangible and intangible possessions to others in an effort to acknowledge their humanity and empathize with their wants or needs with the hope that, if the shoe were on the other foot, they would do the same.

As a mom, sharing can be a powerful exchange that involves the gift and receipt of ideas, lessons, and experiences, allowing us to be heard, be inspired, and inspire.

Find A Tribe: Find a group of like-minded people in your personal and professional life who you can bond with, relate to, and share experiences, difficulties, and successes. This could be your Mom Tribe, Work Tribe, or what I like to call your ‘Home Team,’ or family and friends who are willing to hear you out, help you problem-solve, and support you in becoming the best version of yourself. There’s an undeniable solace in sharing experiences or best practices and knowing that there’s an innate commonality and kinship among you that reaffirms you are not alone.

Share the Wealth and Feel Wealthy: Tell others about your goals, your experiences and your challenges so that they can support you, hold you accountable, and join in celebrating your wins. Be willing to listen and do the same for them. Sharing takes a level of vulnerability and can at times be scary because you’re giving a part of yourself or something you hold valuable to others, but it is equally rewarding and mutually inspiring for that same reason.

Being a mom in today’s modern world certainly isn’t easy, but it also isn’t impossible. In fact, if we reflect on some of the basic principles we learned as children, we might begin to wrap our heads around how we can set ourselves up for success.

Remember, no one’s perfect; that’s what erasers are for. It’s about growth, community, and never giving up because every day you juggle your mom ambitions with your personal purpose, you get stronger and better. Give yourself time and space to blossom into the amazing mom boss you are intended to be because while they say “practice makes perfect” it doesn’t, practice actually makes PROGRESS! 

If you enjoyed this post and would like more information on being intentional with your motherhood, check out my posts on value and goal-based living, intentional self-care, childcare and development, and relationships.