#i love her i really do

[fan-kingdoms]

mai is THE prime example of the ‘drop your weapons! all your weapons. i said ALL your weapons. *character keeps taking out an increasingly comical number of knives*’ memes like girl just has projectiles Everywhere on her person and i love that for her. how does she store them without tearing her clothes

[faunandfloraas]

"Lilyisms" aka wise words from Professional Idol Lily Morrow- today's Lilyism comes in the form of how she feels about the expansive nature of the universe.

[arthursfuckinghat]

"Religion is just a word. Hearts are rarely pure, but equally are they rarely impure either."

[kayberrie]

just a little Sabine to brighten your day

[vivid-vices]

why does my roommate feel the need to turn the air conditioning all the way off sometimes and then just not tell me so i think i have a fever but no it's just 78f/26c in the fucking apartment

[mnty-bubblegmyum]

@p6ww6a us after we put each other's birthdays in our bios

[woundedheartwithin]

one thing about driving my mom anywhere is that she never. stops. talking.

[docotokautism]

[angels444yuri]

i am never not thinking about drolta tzuentes castlevania nocturne

[lighthouseborn]

who is shabira?

!!!!!! Shabira is part of the (blog canon!) future-plotting me and @/dolhood have done:

Shabira is a girl from Singapore. Her parents, Teratai and Jebat, were a young, newly married couple who opened shop in the wharf-town where the pirates were known to gather and do business. (Why there? ... I wobble on, but it stands to reason they were somewhat outcast, or breaking free of circumstances they didn't enjoy.) They quickly became close contacts of Elizabeth's, working with her to manage the re-sellable goods that came in off the ships of her fleet and waters. Growing up, Henry was left with them a few times, when he was younger and Elizabeth needed him looked after for one reason or another, so the families became close. Allies, but also friends. This, naturally, leads to Teratai and Jebat's shop becoming a regular landing place for Henry and Carina once they set out on their own.

Enter- Shabira! She is born in this era, closely post-canon, when Henry & Carina are newly set out to explore the world. So Bira grows up knowing Henry & Rina all her life, coming with the wind and tide to stay awhile -seemingly, by her perspective, just to see her!- and they get to watch her go from wiggly little bean to a brilliant kid. And probably Henry teaches her at least one really horrible trick she absolutely should not have been taught, but what can you do.

Some a few years into this general state of things, Shabira's parents are killed. I have a couple concepts of the who and why but nothing concrete, right now, but. Bira's parents (and many of their neighbors, the community of the town at large) die, and... either she was already with Henry & Carina for some reason, or when they get there they finds her, but either way she really just. Latches on. They're the last people she really knows.

Initially Henry & Carina plan to find her other family. She's got an uncle and cousins -her father's family- in theory, but finding them proves to be a nightmare endeavor. And you know, days turn to weeks. A couple months. They, admittedly, kind of stop looking. And it gets to a point where it seems more cruel than anything else to send her away to a new place nothing like the life she's known where she'd have to start all over with nothing and no one familiar. (Which is ...debatable, in terms of if it was the "right" thing to do, and really kids are generally very adaptable and she probably would have been fine if they committed and sent her to live elsewhere, but it comes from a place of love and good intentions (and also Henry's inability to let go.)) Bira, who has always been dear to them, really just gets... shuffled into the strange little family of the Lighthouse Island. And this is really what shifts gears for Henry & Carina, pulling them from their wilds and grounding them a little more firmly to Shipwreck. Transitioning event from arc iv. -> arc v. (so if you write with me in Henry's Shipwreck-bound verse, Bira is there!)

Primarily, Rina & Henry look after her. And it settles into... they both are, and aren't, her parents? She had parents, and she remembers them, and Henry & Carina do all they can to keep Shabira's memory of her parents alive and maintain that tie to who she is. And also, that's her parents. That's her family, anyway. She's known them all her life and Henry was always her favorite for silly games and Carina understands completely what it means to be a little girl who got left behind and they just. Cling to each other. Family!!

And all of this prompts Henry & Carina to kind of realize.. family. And settling a bit (not all the way, they're all still pirates living among pirates on untamed seas!) actually sounds... Nice. And wouldn't you know it before very long at all Bira has a (yet unnamed, we're working on it) little sister--

uhhh additional details I know but didn't make it into the paragraphs:

Bira & her mother, Teratai, were born in Singapore, but Bira's father, Jebat, moved there as a young man; this is why they're so cut off from her only other (living) family

Bira is around 5 or maybe 6 years old when her parents die

She is a little bit shy. She might outgrow it, who can say! but she's a little bit shy and quiet, it takes her a little time to open up

a natural bookworm, who spends a lot of time in the company of grownups, and her language skills are crazy impressive

[soopertiddies]

when your mentally ill bestie hasn’t answered her phone for 24 hours so you leave the house at 11pm, no bra, sick as hell to drive 45 minutes to her house to check on her

only to find her phone was on silent

[inkskinned]

you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.

but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.

i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.

so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.

you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."

i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"

"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.

i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.

and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.

you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."

"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."

you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.

i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"

"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."

"do i die?"

you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."

"oh."

"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."

i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.

i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.

"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."

i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.

you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."

"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.

you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."

"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.

i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."

you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."

"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."

"you could always die, to be fair."

i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"

"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."

i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."

"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."

i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"

"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."

i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"

i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.

"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."

you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.

you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.

i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.

[coffee-mage-sans-caffeine]

I know you're out there, somewhere on Tumblr. You have to be on Tumblr. You drive a red Prius. It proclaims you to be YAOIMOM. It was so excellent I had to pull over in stop and go traffic to take a picture of your car because it was pure perfection. I love you. I support you. I want to be your friend. You live for sure in my state and probably in my city and I want to hang out. You're clearly my kind of person.

If you see this and recognize yourself, reply or reblog if you want to be my friend. I'm not kidding. Let's get some kind of warm beverage at a neutral public space.

[eydilily]

would you bite the hand that feeds you?

[orionfrommars]

Happy Holidays from the sillies!!

[Please do not steal, trace, repost or modify my work]

[mnty-bubblegmyum]

hi guys sorry I just took my Zoloft 💀