#i love hearing any type of commentary

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Yandere! Keigo Takami General Profile

Yandere! Keigo Takami x fem! reader

Tw: kidnapping, stalking, mentions of non-con, implied masturbation, possessiveness, lots and lots of guilt, Stockholm Syndrome/you've kind of lost it by the end, mentions of eating/eating healthily, mentions of murder, Dabi makes an appearance and is directly responsible for your kidnapping, insinuation that Keigo's jerked it to some rather icky nasty stuff of yours, non-consensual photography, fem reader, MDNI

I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy!

WC: 15K (genuinely how)

DARLING PROFILE:

Smart

If Keigo was pressed to describe his type, the very first thing that he would blurt out is intelligent. He wants a woman that can match him in terms of intellect. Someone who can follow his quick-paced jokes, his sarcasm, someone that keeps up with him, really.

He finds it wildly attractive when a woman is confident in her own knowledge, and ideally his darling would be knowledgeable in an area he knows next to nothing about.

He likes hearing them spiel on about something they’re passionate about – and he'll be listening, intently, with a hand under his chin and eyes glossed over because while their words are interesting, watching them is really what’s fully engaging him. There’s something wonderful about the way that they’re able to answer all the questions he prompts them with, never missing a beat and fully dissecting his question before giving their best thoughts back.

It’s just wonderful, and although he’d never divulge any sensitive information to them out of fear for their safety, there’s something euphoric about knowing that if he really wanted to, if he could, he thinks they would understand how he feels.

He thinks they could understand how careful he has to be, how he has to think out his every move and word dozens of times in advance, making sure everything is exactly how it should be.

And really, this helps Keigo feel less lonely – it’s less polarizing and solitary if he knows that his darling could support him, even if he won’t tell them anything.

Just the knowledge makes him giddy, his heart beating faster because it feels so very good to not be alone.

Witty

Similarly to their intelligence, Keigo needs a darling who’s able to dish out what he serves. A witty, silver-tongued darling would have him constantly on his toes, finding that speaking with them is entertaining and leaves him wanting more.

His darling isn’t boring, or a drag to speak to – their stories and commentary leave him on the edge of his seat, growing addicted to their voice and finding himself wanting more more more, eagerly asking all sorts of follow-up questions that he normally wouldn’t bother with.

And really, this is one of the first signs that his feelings for them have ventured beyond friendly – he’s never been this invested in someone before, never wanting to interact with them so badly, never wanting to be around them and hear their voice and watch their lips move to form syllables.

He finds his darling’s sense of humor to perfectly match his own, leaving him winded and often more flustered than he’d care to admit.

They’re just so cute – the knowing little look they send him when they crack a bad pun that leaves him chuckling, the way their face scrunches up when they make an accidentally dirty joke.

It’s endearing, really, and it only makes him fall for them harder, his desperation to see them growing stronger with every passing day because god, they’re just so perfect.

Civilian

While Keigo is capable of developing an obsession with a fellow hero, it’s unlikely.

Part of what draws him to his darling is their innocence – they don’t understand the realities of their society, how violent and horrible the darkest members are, how much crime and unrest fills the city streets right under their nose.

It’s the way his darling is able to be so happy and carefree in the face of such terror that draws Keigo in – they practically radiate positivity, talking about their own mundane life and managing to lull Keigo into a false reality that he, too is simply a civilian.

That he isn’t a double agent with a non-existent sense of self, that he isn’t bursting with stress and anxiety at any given time. It’s a nice reprieve, really, and it’s one that he slowly begins craving. The moments of peace and tranquility addict him, causing him to view his darling as a sort of stress-reliever, someone he can go to when things become too heavy, too dark, too much.

He wants to hear about everything happening in their lives – their crazy neighbors, annoying coworkers, the cat they saw crossing the street, the latest thing broken in their apartment. He wants to know about the mundane things, the things he’s never experienced and never will experience.

His darling is a sort of portal to a totally different world – what he could have had if he hadn’t been born into the family he was, if he hadn’t had inherited his quirk, if he hadn’t have done this or that.

His darling represents possibility, a side of Keigo that he desperately, desperately wishes he could embrace – which is why he slowly begins fantasizing about a future with his darling, always complete with a nice little house, a few children, a pretty ring on their finger, and complete domestic bliss.

It’s a dirty fantasy to him, really, something far off and dreamy, but with every interaction he has with his darling, it only stronger, and he only grows more desperate.

Empathetic

Keigo needs someone who is able to see past the layers of persona he puts on as Hawks and instead see him. Keigo Takami. He needs someone who’s able to listen to his words and comfort him, to see the frightened, abused boy he still is at heart.

The idea of a darling who’s able to understand him on such a deep, raw level leaves him feeling equal parts terrified and relieved, because he’s never really had someone there for him before.

The concept of a companion, of someone to rely on and love and cherish is such a foreign concept to him, and although he finds the idea enticing (having watched more than his fair share of rom-coms and trashy romance movies), Keigo doesn’t believe that he’ll ever get to experience it.

His life is too busy and hectic, and having a woman to hold and love and protect would add too much unnecessary strain. Except once he meets his darling and he feels seen for the first time, things begin changing. No longer does he find himself alone, internally grappling with his real identity and his hero identity, slowly losing himself with all the stress and obligations towards the commission.

No, he’s not alone because he has them – his darling, the one who’s smile and a simple brush of their hand leaves him breathless, feeling like a little kid with a sense of wonder and hopefulness and love that makes his heart pound in his chest.

A darling that’s able to incite these feelings in him is really the key to catching his attention in the first place – a cruel fate, really, considering his darlings is only trying to help him, only trying to help reassure him that he doesn’t have to be the ever strong, ever cool Hawks in front of everybody.

It’s a noble thought, really – but ultimately one that dooms his darling, forcing the blond to latch onto them with incredible strength and never, ever letting go.

GENERAL YANDERE TRAITS:

Clingy

It takes quite a while for Keigo’s obsession to form. He’s never really had the time nor desire to get close enough to someone to even consider a relationship, and while he’s a had a one-night stand or two, that one night of intimacy is the closest he’s ever gotten to someone. He’s just not emotionally available, and for very good reason – he’s lived his entire adult life (and much of his youth) completely under the Commission’s control, his every desire, action, and thought controlled by others.

It’s sad and some part of him knows it, pitying himself even, but Keigo’s just not interested in developing any kind of romantic relationship with anyone. He doesn’t have time, and there’s a small part of him that questions if he’s even able to form that kind of a connection with someone. A childhood full of abuse, training and emotional neglect has fucked him up in more ways than one, and he’s genuinely unsure if he’s even capable of something like love, if he’d even be able to give someone a healthy relationship, his heart.

He swears off romance, finding it trivial and just not something for him, but things begin changing the longer he knows you, the longer he’s around you and spends time with you. His feelings are purely platonic at first – you’re funny, someone he finds himself actually getting along with and not dreading seeing, and it’s always a pleasure when he happens to run into you when he’s out on patrol or just wandering around the city in a rare moment of free time.

(And at this point, it genuinely is random – there’s no pre-planned meetings, no orchestrated attempts at just so happening to run into you, no attempt to follow you or know your location at all hours of the day. It’s just fate, really.)

He slowly warms up to you, deciding that he actually really likes you, and as the weeks turn into months, there’s this feeling that starts tugging at his heart. It’s this strange phenomenon where when he’s lost in thought, planning out his next moves in making sure he balances his double agent lifestyle, there’s this lingering thought of you.

He’ll gear up in his hero suit, shrugging the jacket on over his wings and checking himself over in the mirror, only to let his hand linger over his jacket lapel. He’d never noticed the small speck of blood on the tan material – had you? It was surely an enemy’s, some criminal that he’d roughed up a bit too badly before capturing, but it was still an unfortunate sight. His lips quirk down a bit as he thinks of whether you’d noticed it when you’d ran into him at the end of his patrol yesterday – you hadn’t mentioned anything, but maybe you were just being polite.

Something about the thought of you seeing him with blood on him leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

It’s not until a notification on his phone gets his pocket buzzing that he snaps out of his small reverie, blinking at his reflection and feeling a small bit of confusion settle over him. Why was he thinking of you? Surely it wasn’t your blood, and you hadn’t been present during any of his fights yesterday – why had the thought of you popped into his mind?

Keigo’s not sure, but he pushes aside the thought as he jumps off his balcony, the wind catching his wings and letting him soar towards the Hero Commission building.

He doesn’t give it much thought, but then it happens again the next day; he’s out on patrol, flying a good ten feet above the skyline of this particular neighborhood, when he sees a woman walking with a bouquet of flowers. They’re pretty, he supposes – roses mixed with some greenery and tulips, the kind of perfect bouquet you’d see in a rom-com or some cheesy movie.

He smiles a bit, seeing the way the woman was sighing down at them with a dreamy look on her face, and before he can stop himself there’s this flash in his mind of you with flowers in your arms. They’d be a different color, of course – your favorite color, and maybe even a different flower. Whatever one was your favorite, that’s what he’d get you.

He freezes as the last thought flits through his mind, his wings freezing too and causing him to falter a bit mid-air, desperately flapping them to stay afloat. What the hell?

He doesn’t like it, at first – the way you’re slowly seeping into every aspect of his thoughts, always some little twinge of you sitting at the sidelines, an idle thought of wow, you’d look great with that shirt on or a small question of would she like this?

It makes him uncomfortable, because he doesn’t know how to deal with this strange new development – sure, he's heard all about love and falling for someone, because while he may not look like it, he’s watched his fair share of chick flicks and raunchy romances.

But still, this is different – it’s different because it’s him, because it’s you. And it’s different because Keigo notices, as time passes, that none of those films or stories mention just how all-encompassing the feeling is, or how it makes him want to swing by your apartment every night, flying outside your window and letting those honey eyes scan the room to find your familiar figure.

They don’t mention anything about the desire that eats him up at night, how he seems to see you in everything around him – his pillow is soft, but he’s sure your stomach would be softer. His dining chair is comfortable, but having you sit in his lap would make it more comfortable.

The ratty shirt with the massive holes cut in the back is loose on him, but where it looks sloppy on him, you’d manage to look cute, he’s sure. It scares him, if he’s being honest, because he feels his control over himself slowly slipping through his fingers – he can’t stop himself from checking over you when he knows you’re at work, repeatedly flying through the area when he really doesn’t need to, just to make sure there’s no villainous activity.

(And always keeping an eye out for you when he knows your shift is over – he always gets too nervous and chickens out, but one of these days he swears he’s going to swoop down and pick you up, holding you in his arms as he flies around with you, chuckling in your ear and pulling you flush against his body under the guise of ‘safety’ – just please ignore the hardness you feel against your back or the labored breaths in your ear.)

It scares him that he can’t stop himself from suddenly paying much more attention to your every word, listening to you like you’re spouting holy epiphanies as you tell him about your coworkers or this new film you watched, biting his lip and nodding along, letting his eyes occasionally flick down to your mouth as quickly as he can, just so you won’t notice.

Thus starts a troubling pattern – Keigo starts slowly craving learning as much as he can about you, because with every thought that pops up into his head, he finds his knowledge about you is sorely lacking. He doesn’t know what your favorite flower is – he can’t get you that bouquet he was fantasizing of.

 He doesn’t know where your favorite take-out place is – he can’t surprise you with dinner on nights he can tell you’re tired. (He can tell because he’d followed you home from the air and noticed your slouched shoulders and the way you’d looked on the verge of tears when you’d stubbed your toe on the uneven sidewalk, but still.)

He doesn’t know what size shoe you wear – he can’t pick you up those new shoes he thought you’d like, or get you a new pair of those fuzzy, warm socks he noticed were looking a little ragged in your laundry bin.

 He doesn’t know what your ideal date is, so he can’t plan one with the knowledge that you’d be as happy as humanly possibly, all smiley and bashful and shy, all because you’re with Keigo himself.

It frustrates him, and he figures it wouldn’t hurt to look into you just a bit more – he’s got access to all kinds of information, security clearances associated with his status as both a hero, an agent of the Hero Commission, and an agent of the Meta Liberation Army making pretty much any piece of information he wants to get his hands on accessible. He’s getting access to your computer and phone, sifting through your search histories, contacts, even your bank accounts and government information.

(How else would he be able to start depositing occasional bits of money into your account, gifts he knows you won’t notice because you never check your transaction histories? You may not know about them, but he does, and it makes him feel good, important when he’s gifting you a hundred dollars here and there, making sure you have a cushion so that you can spoil yourself and indulge in all the things he knows you want to, but you don’t have the funds to do so.)

He’s designating a specific feather to slip into your purse or pocket, attached to your person so that he can track where you’re going, feeling the vibration against your back when you’re talking, when you’re shivering because you’re cold, when you’re standing or sitting or laying or moaning and gasping and shaking –

(He’ll always stiffen up when the feather he’d managed to slip into your jacket starts vibrating with the sound of your cries, his cheeks and neck feeling unbearably hot as he starts to sweat, wings twitching uncontrollably and rushing to the nearest bathroom, clutching the sink and grimacing because god, you’re moaning so damn much, you must be touching yourself and he’s not even there to see it, not able to watch you fall apart – maybe you’re even thinking of him, of how he’d fuck you nice and deep, pushing your knees up to your ears and groaning your name over and over while he fills you full of his cum – He’s in the bathroom for a suspiciously long time, and when he comes back with his pants just slightly askew, Dabi will cock a brow but not make a comment.)

He’s even going so far as to set up cameras in your apartment, having broken in one day when you weren’t home, making sure they’re placed in inanimate objects so you don’t find one and get scared.

(Though, he can’t deny that the image of you running to him in fear, crying and clutching onto him and telling him that someone’s stalking you has a very nice ring to it… Ultimately, though, he knows it’s best for you to not take on the stress and burden of knowing your every move is being watched, recorded, stored onto his phone and computer so that when he can’t sleep at night or is particularly stressed from all the lying and sneaking around, he’ll have something pretty and sweet to look at, something calming and relaxing, something that makes him sigh and his lips quirk up into a small smile as his thumb rubs the technology, imagining it was your cheek.)

It’s a slow slide into his obsessive tendencies, but once his feelings for you have formed in full, Keigo is a lost cause – and once you end up trapped with him, forced to depend on him for everything, this trait will only present itself more strongly, becoming harder and harder to ignore because he won’t bother hiding it anymore.

You’ll be scared and apprehensive every time he arrives with a glass of water right when you were beginning to feel thirsty, but really, you should know better. You’ll be unnerved when he presents a new bottle of shampoo to you right as you start itching to shower, but it’s inevitable.

Keigo knows you better than you know yourself, after all – and he just wants to keep you happy, keep you safe. He's just in love, and doesn’t he deserve someone to love?

Doesn’t he deserve to be happy too, to finally, finally have something all to himself, something that’s his?

Protective

Frankly, though Keigo hides it well, his protectiveness over you is unbearable. He’s a seasoned pro-hero who spends a good amount of time with villains, and as a result he’s more than aware of just how dark of a place the world really is. He has intimate knowledge of just how many horrible people are hiding in plain sight, all the violent and horrific crimes they commit, and just how often they manage to escape unscathed.

And of course, he also knows just how many innocent victims get wrapped up in their schemes, often resulting in injuries and trauma and even death. And while Keigo generally is disapproving of murder, he’s even more staunchly against the concept when it’s your death, when you’re the lifeless body that’s laying on the cold, hard cement, blood pooling around your head and your pretty eyes staring aimlessly above, your fingers cold and your neck bruised and oh god oh god –

The realization that the way he feels for you has wandered into romantic territory is the same moment that he realizes that you could very easily be one of the civilians he was just a hair too slow to save.

He’s helping an older woman crawl out of a pile of rubble left behind from a stand-off with a villain, part of the building having collapsed in on itself, and all of a sudden he sees something sticking out from below a large, cement cylinder – a foot, stained red at the ankle, and immediately he feels sick.

Evacuations aren’t always successful, and oh, look at that – the foot’s complexion is oddly familiar, and he swears he’s seen that nail polish on someone else’s fingers before. Bile actually rises up the back of his throat as he realizes that everything about this unfortunate soul reminds him of you, even down to the hair dotting her leg. It’s a hard pill to swallow as images of you bloody and bruised flash through his mind, each one making his chest tighter than the last.

It leaves his fists clenching and his jaw tight enough to make his teeth hurt, and it’s in that moment that his body almost seems to operate on autopilot – the images of you battered and too injured to be helped are still swirling through his mind as his feet leave the ground, his wings beating faster and faster with every second, his desperation to reach you strong enough to get his heart practically racing out of his chest.

The wind is whistling in his ears as he flies to your apartment, his muscles aching from the exertion, his lip caught between his teeth as he mentally chants that you’re okay, you’re okay, please God you have to be okay.

It’s only once he lands on your apartment balcony and sees you clumsily doing your dishes in the kitchen sink that relief floods his system, his entire body sagging against the railing as he finally lets out the breath he’d been unconsciously holding back.

You’re okay.

You’re alive and breathing, and as his eyes scan every exposed inch of your skin, he can’t find even a speck of blood. A hand comes up to rest over his heart, and Keigo swallows, Adam’s apple visibly bobbing with the weight of the motion.

He spends longer than he’d care to admit on your balcony that evening, those yellow eyes watching like a hawk as you move about in your tiny apartment, mentally assessing each and every movement. You’re pretty like this, he thinks – you’re entirely unaware that you’re being watched, but there’s something about seeing you be so natural and free that’s exhilarating, making his heart pound and his cheeks flush pink because this is what you’re really like when no one’s watching. It makes his chest ache to see it, his gloved fingers reaching out and pressing against the glass of your sliding door, the urge almost unbearable to be with you and hear what he’s sure is you singing along to some horrible song.

He’s idly wondering if you cook all your meals, and that’s why you have so many dishes – would you cook for him? He's a lousy chef and frankly a bit picky about his food, but he’d eat anything you make for him with a bright smile and trembling fingers, eagerly wolfing down the food and being nearly brought to tears because you made this for him.

He’s imagining the way you’d let him hold you at night, sharing a bed with you and your body pressed snugly beside his, an arm draped over your side and your soft breaths tickling the expanse of his chest. It’s a pleasant thought, but all too soon his phone is buzzing and he’s brought out of his reverie, glancing at the time and sucking in a sharp breath because it’s been an hour and a half of him just sitting here, gaping like an idiot at you.

Embarrassment creeps up his spine, but before he jumps off the balcony and heads to the Commission to report back, he spares a final glance over his shoulder at you, and the smallest of smiles sits on his lips, something warm blooming in his chest.

But from that moment onwards, Keigo slowly becomes more and more consumed by the idea of just how truly unprepared you are for any sort of villain encounter. You have a quirk, sure, but it’s minor and not especially useful, and it certainly wouldn’t help if you were to be cornered in some dark alleyway, or if you were to hear your front door’s lock being picked, or if you were to be caught in the crossfire of a villain robbing a bank.

And it’s small things that remind him of these facts – he'll see you trip over seemingly nothing, losing your footing and stumbling for just a moment, and immediately fear is sitting heavy in his gut because god, you’d be dead meat running from a villain. It’s endearing, of course, but it’s scary.

He hears you giggle sheepishly and rub the back of your neck as you admit to your friend over lunch that you’d forgot to lock your door when you left for groceries yesterday, his skin and feathers bristling and a small prick of anger bubbling inside him because are you asking to be the next tragedy covered on the news?

 He takes you out for dinner (that he hopes you’ll think of as a date, even if the restaurant is a simple diner that he knows you love) and sees a bandaid on your finger, his voice a touch lower than his previous joking tone as he asks if you’re okay, did you hurt yourself? Your response of how you’d accidentally caught the sharp edge of a razor in the shower makes his entire body tense, both at the idea of you in the shower and at the idea of your blood being drawn, of the way you’d probably hissed and bit your lip, the pain acute. You’ll notice the way he freezes up, this look on his face that you can’t quite describe, but soon he’ll be flashing you that familiar grin, taking a sip of his soda and telling you that unshaved is better, hasn’t anyone ever told you that?

(He likes the way you roll your eyes and pretend that you aren’t embarrassed by his comment – at least, he hopes that’s how you’re feeling, because the comment made him himself a little hot under the collar.)

Everything you do is a reminder to him that you’re weak, and it’s this constant mantra that moves Keigo to take his own measures to ensure your safety. He’ll offer to walk you home from work every day, waving off your concerns by telling you that his patrols end right around that time anyways so it’s no big deal.

(They don’t – they tend to end much earlier, but this way he can fly around for a bit, trail you from the air and keep his eyes trained only on you, all with the luxury of lying when you notice his presence about how his patrol areas happen to line up with the district you work in.)

He’ll tell you that he’s sure your cooking is good, but he knows what place has the absolute best lunches – and would you look at that, it’s not too far from your apartment! Maybe you’d be interested in getting lunch with him sometimes? He knows the owner pretty well because he’s always in there, maybe he could even get the both of you a loyal customer discount.

(He’d only started eating there because a late night of watching you through your apartment windows had led to his stomach growling too much to bear, and he’d strolled into the twenty-four-hour establishment absolutely ravenous for food, still glowing from having watched your sleeping face.)

He’s even making unsolicited, subtle remarks about your own habits designed to get you to change some of your more problematic traits – he’ll tell you that eating breakfast is actually very good for you, he’s heard that people who skip breakfast tend to have bowel problems.

(It’s delivered as a joke and you snort because he’d been a little graphic with a bad pun thrown in there, and as Keigo basks in the sight of your smile and the sound of your laughter, he hopes that you’ll remember the sentiment – you need to be eating properly, after all.)

He’s telling you that crime rates have been awfully high in your neighborhood lately – it’s recommended for all civilians to avoid speaking to anyone on the streets – just for safety purposes, of course.

(And because it dramatically reduces the number of men you interact with, something that makes both his protectiveness and possessiveness cool ever so slightly because that means one less man that you could meet and fall for and want and love-)

And why shouldn’t you believe everything that he says? He’s the number two hero, a man who’s saved more lives than you could imagine – how could he not be the authority on safety? Who are you to doubt anything he tells you, any advice he gives you?

And Keigo knows this – which is why he’ll start pushing further and further with time, trying to convince you to drop anything dangerous at all; did you know that more people cut themselves with knives than with all other cutting tools combined? You should really be careful, you know – besides, sometimes recipes are better with whole tomatoes!

(Really, he just wants to avoid seeing a knife in your hands – you’re not trustworthy with something so sharp, even if the sight of you in the kitchen slaving over the stove is strangely adorable, strangely right.)

Did you know that most animal attacks are from dogs? Maybe you shouldn’t consider getting that cute puppy you’d been gushing about – you just never know.

(Really, Keigo’s just worried that you’ll end up spending all your time and attention with said puppy, leaving him with only the most meager scraps that won’t be nearly enough to satisfy him, and while he’s serious about the dog attacks, he’s mostly just selfish. Plus, an animal companion would make slipping through your window late at night almost impossible.)

Did you know that the vast majority of murder victims are women? You should probably take him up on his offer to be your personal chaperone – consider it a favor for a friend, he’d told you.

(Though he’d been gritting his teeth as he said the word ‘friend’, even the feel of it on his tongue making something ugly twist in his gut. The way he feels for you certainly isn’t friendly – it can’t be, not when he’s imagining waking up with you every morning, the way your lips would taste, how you’d look on your knees staring up at him while you gag and choke and suck so hard your cheeks hollow out.)

And once you’ve been kidnapped, this trait is only furthered, his paranoia eating away at him because he knows you’ll be rebellious, that you’ll want to lash out and hurt yourself and hurt him, and just the thought leaves him buzzing with anxiety, stress eating away at him because he absolutely refuses to let you get injured in any way.

You have to stay pristine – his gorgeous, precious partner that he loves, the only woman who’s ever made him feel something so strong. You have to be okay – because if you aren’t, then he isn’t either, and the only thing more dangerous than a powerful, cunning man living a double life is a broken, apathetic man who wants everyone to know just how little life means now that his other half is gone.

Controlling

His controlling tendencies manifest as a result of both his extreme protectiveness, and as a sort of coping mechanism from the lack of control he has over his own life. He does love you – at least, he thinks this is love.

(If it’s not love, then Keigo doesn’t know what the fuck this could possibly be – what else would cause him to be thinking of you at all hours of the day, his body physically aching and yearning to be with you? What else could cause his breathing to hitch and become so uneven when you’re in his presence, his quirk nearly out of his control as his feathers ruffle and flutter and come down around you like some sort of cage?)

He loves you, sure, his obsession festering into something darker, deeper, more unmanageable and impossible to come back from, but there’s a part of him that begins exerting this control over you as a way to satisfy himself.

By dictating your life, it’s almost like he’s dictating his own – like he gets to choose what happens, like he has self-autonomy, like he isn’t just a puppet being used by others. It’s euphoric, cathartic, and this only furthers his dependence on you – not only do you make him feel something warm and gooey and suffocating in his chest, but you also make him feel calmer, more grounded, more whole.

But as lovely as it is for Keigo to finally get a grip on his own mental health, this has rather disastrous effects on you – even before he’s stolen you away, these controlling tendencies are present. Of course, they’re difficult to spot when Keigo is still just the handsome, flirty hero who seems to have a soft spot for little old you. You’re in a metaphorical honeymoon phase at that point, beyond flattered that someone like him has noticed someone like you.

And so, you don’t really notice the way that he tells you to stop hanging out with a particular friend that you keep rambling on about. They’re going through a hard time, you’re sure of it – it’s the only reason they’ve been so snappy and distant lately, and it’s only natural for you to bear your burdens to Keigo, telling him how they were rude to you last weekend, how they’ve been ignoring your calls, how you’re at a loss because what could possibly be happening?

And Keigo will grit his teeth, his smile tight and visibly strained as he clutches onto his coffee cup with white knuckles, eventually telling you wow, that really sucks, some friend. Maybe you should stop hanging out with them – obviously they aren’t as invested in the friendship as you are, sound like they’re not as good of a friend as you are, frankly.

It’s good advice, all things considered, but it’s presented in a way that flatters you, that makes you sound like you’re the reasonable, good friend and they’ve simply dropped the ball. And so, you’ll follow his advice – that friend isn’t contacted again, and Keigo personally sees to it that you’ve blocked them, having gone in and manually done it on your phone while you were fast asleep.

You won’t notice how he makes subtle comments about what you should order when you’re at a restaurant together – he’ll never make comments about your weight, but he’ll prompt you to eat something healthier, something more, something that’ll leave you happy but nourish you as well. The comments are again difficult to spot – when he opens up the menu, he’ll pipe up and tell you that they’ve got that salad you were talking about the other day – you know the one? Yeah, sounds good – do you want to split it? I think we should get some extra chicken on top, too.

(Once the salad arrives, of course, you’ll be eating the majority – Keigo will nibble at it, picking at it and making a bit show of always having his fork packed with the greens – and a lot of the chicken – but you’ll be the one shoveling food into your mouth, feeling full by the time Keigo’s eaten roughly ten bites.)

You won’t notice it much at all, really – which is why it’s such a shock to one day wake up in Keigo’s luxury, king-sized bed, the soft white sheets smelling like fresh laundry and the pretty red, silky pajamas he’d changed you into feeling foreign on your body.

But just like his more needy and clingy tendencies, Keigo’s controlling nature will start to show itself once he’s stolen you away. There’s no point in hiding how he feels now, is there? You’re aware that he’s in love with you (he tells you every fucking day, after all, with a hushed voice that sounds much too vulnerable for you to bear and a barrage of kisses along your jawline and neck), so what’s the point in dialing down some of the more questionable aspects of his infatuation?

He’d kidnapped you out of paranoia, and now that you’re with him constantly, he’s able to really, fully control your actions and the things you’re allowed to do. He’s not too dehumanizing with it, but there’s a lot of limits on things that you normally wouldn’t even think about – you’re allowed to watch TV, but only for an hour a day and only specific channels and programs he’s approved.

(Generally, the cutoff for what he considers ‘appropriate’ for you are things without graphic violence, nothing terribly sad, and nothing that would cause you tension or stress. So, all horror movies are off the table, all dramas, all action films, really only leaving the things he wouldn’t mind watching with you – romances, mostly, and the occasional film with much more erotica than he realized. His face will turn red as the actors moan and whisper hushed I love you’s, his yellow eyes nervously flicking over to you from his spot beside you, his fingers itching to reach out to you, the blanket covering you both suddenly feeling much too hot.)

You’re allowed to eat what you want, but with a few very strict guidelines – you can’t have anything over a certain amount of grams of sugar, nor are you allowed to consume anything that isn’t paired with a vegetable. He’s forcing you to eat protein, and if you don’t eat meat he’ll count out a specific number of nuts you must consume that day, just to make sure you’re getting proper nutrition.

He especially loves if you’ll let him feed the nuts to you, or any food, really – he likes to feel needed and helpful, and to have you looking at him with those pretty eyes, the fork pressed against your lips while you swallow and thank him for the food… It makes Keigo’s breathing get a bit heavy, his mouth watering because god, he wants to use that fork after you, would you think that’s weird?

He’s not taking away any of your basic privileges like dressing yourself or using the restroom alone, but Keigo has a way of making you feel pathetic without even trying to; there’s just something about the way he looks at you, all soft smiles and wide eyes, his palms always clammy and nervous, his touch always hesitant but eager.

He won’t explicitly create a schedule for your daily life under his thumb, but you’ll essentially be in one, anyways. He leaves for work in the mornings, parting from you with a very, very tonguey kiss, and while he’s gone on his patrol all day, you’ll cycle through reading a few of the (pre-approved) books he’d gifted you, practicing your art skills, practicing your musical skills, and staring out the fifteen-story window, the one-way, bulletproof glass not giving you even the option to crack it if you wanted to brave the fall.

You’ll be stagnant, really, something that Keigo doesn’t appreciate at all once he notices it happening, but it doesn’t change the fact that he absolutely can’t relinquish control – you’re his, and even if you’re unhappy, Keigo will be damned if he gives up caring for you and making your decisions for you. That’s love, isn’t it? He knows what’s best for you, so why can’t you see that? Why do you fight him and tell him he’s a monster, a horrible, horrible man?

He just wants to keep you safe and happy and loved, so why are you making it so fucking difficult?

DEALING WITH RIVALS:

While Keigo isn’t too terribly possessive as far as yanderes go, he really only has so much self-control. Of course, he doesn’t like seeing other men around you, those already narrow eyes of his growing even sharper and smaller because he does not like this.

But what sets Keigo apart from others is that while he’s enraged, anxiety and anger prickling at his skin and causing goosebumps to litter his entire body, he’s smart. He’s good at reading people, at fully assessing situations and making split seconds analyses, and that’s exactly what he’ll do whenever he sees you in a situation where another man is showing interest.

He’ll examine the man’s face – is he smiling? Laughing? Serious? Frowning?

Smiling and laughing generally means one of two things – either the man hopes to become friends or acquaintances with you, or he’s flirting and he thinks it’s going very well. Keigo can’t decide which option he hates more.

A serious expression or a frown normally means that the man is trying to create a mysterious air – to embody hypermasculinity, to try and lure you in by looking the part of the strong, dominant man who’s only weakness is you. It makes Keigo cringe, his nose scrunching up in a wince as he thinks of how terribly stupid this man must be to think you’d fall for something like that – he obviously doesn’t know you or your intellect, at least not like Keigo does. Nobody knows you like Keigo does – not even yourself.

He’s looking at the man’s body language – if he’s leaning towards you, he probably has less than innocent intentions, either trying to intimidate you or get close to you to fulfill some sick, perverted urge.

(An urge that Keigo knows all too well – the urge to feel you, to touch you, to smell you, to have your skin against his. It’s an urge that he’s had to fight more times than he can count, stopping himself from scooping your into his arms and burying his face into the crook of your neck, his hands roaming every inch of your body because god, you smell good and you’re so fucking pretty and your voice is like heaven to his ears and you feel too damn good pressed against him like this and fuck you drive him absolutely insane.)

If the man has his hands in his pockets, that generally signals to Keigo that he’s not as confident at this as he’d like you to believe, showing the hero that the man is more than aware that you’re wildly out of his league, that really the man should have absolutely no business speaking with you.

Keigo’s noticing the distance between your body and the stranger’s – if it’s more than three feet, he’s able to take a small, minimally relieved sigh because at least the man isn’t likely to try something. But if he’s closer to you, dangerously close to being in your space and making you feel uncomfortable, immediately Keigo’s wings are flapping, the movements harsh and unconscious as his fists tighten and he grits his teeth because he’ll be damned if he lets anyone make you uncomfortable.

And he’s analyzing your body language, too, of course – if you like the interaction, if you’re pleased by the attention, if you’re scared, if you want to leave, even if you want to leave with the stranger himself. And while Keigo wishes he was wrong, the moments where you actually seem to be enjoying the flirting of a stranger make him bristle, a deep scowl settling on his face while insecurity and panic grip his heart because he has to stop this before it's too late – before you let yourself get wooed by another man before Keigo even gets the chance to fully earn your trust and adoration.

Seeing you approached by potential rivals for your love really brings out the worst side of Keigo – it brings out all the skills the Commission drilled into him, those eyes of his dissecting the other man like he’s merely a slab of meat, the blond finding every possible point of weakness in the man’s stature or attitude, just so Keigo can understand the full scope of what he’s competing with. Just so that Keigo can understand exactly how he can be better than this loser – how he can impress you and get you acting all bashful and dismissive of his witty flirting just like you should be.

Jealousy isn’t too pretty on Keigo, and while he won’t just blindly murder any man that steals your attention for even a moment.

(He’d lose his hero status very quickly, no matter how much he sometimes wants to send a feather clean through their neck, slicing their head off and feeling not a smidge of remorse because now he’ll finally stop running his mouth at you when you’ve clearly already been chosen to be Hawks’s woman – the number two’s sweet, important little partner that he absolutely cannot lose).

His patrol had felt incredibly long today – no large villain sightings, with only a few petty muggers making the time pass. Keigo sighs, wings flapping and wind whipping in his ears as he eagerly scans the streets below.

Normally, you’d be walking to the grocery store right around now – he’d noticed you were low on eggs, so it was only a matter of time before you braved the cold autumn air. Suspicion immediately pricks along Keigo’s spine, however, as he slowly flies along the path that you take to the store. You’re no where in sight – he doesn’t see your familiar jacket or notice the way the sunlight glistens off your hair, and immediately something uncomfortable is settling in his gut.

This wasn’t like you – you’d told him once that you prefer this time of day for your shopping because the store is the least crowded, and Keigo knows how you feel about interacting with strangers. And yet, you’re missing – something that makes him immediately pick up his speed, brows knitting together and his lower lip caught between his teeth. Eager eyes scan every sidewalk as he quickly makes his way to your apartment complex, every second that he doesn’t see you only furthering the feeling of dread slowly eating at him.

He’s near the point of whipping out his phone to call you and check the tracker he’d installed into your phone when he lets out an audible sigh of relief, having spotted your familiar form on the sidewalk below. You’re only a few blocks from your apartment at this point – and with a look of disgust, Keigo identifies the reason why.

There’s a man with you.

You’re standing and speaking with him, tucked away at the corner of the sidewalk, and immediately the feeling of panic is replaced by anger, his shoulders tensing up. As he swoops down and lands on the top of the building above you, he cranes his neck to get a better look at this man. Keigo’s never seen him before – you’ve never interacted with him in all the months he’s been watching you, leading him to believe that this man is a stranger.

Keigo taps his foot impatiently, trying to decide if this is good news or bad news. On the one hand, it’s always good news to know that you don’t have many men in your life – Keigo should be the only one, really, the only person, even, not just man.

But it also means that this stranger probably stopped you to strike up a conversation, which can only means two things – either the man is asking an innocent question, or he’s interested in you. Interested in you, as in wanting to date you, to kiss your pretty lips and hear you whisper those three words and bend you in half and make you scream and moan and gush-

Keigo grits his teeth, left eye twitching slightly at the mere thought of this man being brazen enough to approach you like this. And based off the way he keeps steadily stepping closer to you and you keep subtly shifting away from him, Keigo suddenly understands exactly what’s going on.

He hesitates for only a moment, a small pang of doubt registering in the back of his mind (wondering if this is how you look when you’re with Keigo himself, that annoying insecurity revolving around anything romantic and anything with you once again filling him with false worries), before he’s jumping from the rooftop, landing with a small grunt onto the sidewalk a few feet away from the two of you.

Clearing his throat, he walks with a bit more urgency than normal towards you, slinging an arm around your shoulder and leaning in.

What’re we talking about? Keigo asks, yellow eyes fixed on the man, any semblance of a smile gone from his face. His chest is puffed out ever so slightly, wings spread to make his physical presence as big as possible, to make him as intimidating as possible. Immediately you’re jumping, slightly embarrassed and slightly relieved at Keigo’s sudden presence. He feels you relax slightly against him and tries to ignore the way his throat goes dry and his pupils dilate – he’ll relive the memory of you feeling safe around him later tonight, but now’s not the time.

The man steps back immediately, rubbing at the back of his neck and looking at the hero sheepishly, guilt written all over his face. Keigo scoffs under his breath, examining the man’s face in closer detail. He’s somewhat attractive, and that same nagging voice comes back, idly wondering if you’d prefer brunettes like this man over blondes like Keigo, or if you preferred slightly taller men, because this stranger is easily a few inches taller than the hero. He frows, biting the inside of his cheek and willing the thoughts to go away – at least until he’s sorted this out.

Oh, Hawks, hey man, I didn’t – we’re not talkin’ about anything. Nice to meet you, miss. The man fumbles for his words, before quickly backpedaling and practically running the opposite direction, peeking over his shoulder every once in a while and wincing.

Keigo holds his ground, not moving, keeping those eyes locked on the man’s figure until he’s eventually a good block or two away. Only then does Keigo turn to you, his cheeks a little pink as he flashes you a smile. He’s still got his arm wrapped around your shoulder, and he gives you a small squeeze that he hopes isn’t too forward – he wouldn’t want you to get the idea that he’s after the same thing that stranger had been.

(Though really, isn’t he? He just wants all of you, not only your body – and he can take much better care of you, can’t he? Better than that gangly, sleazy man ever could, better than any other man ever could.)

He’s brought out of his small reverie by you profusely thanking him, telling him that the man had just approached you out of nowhere and you didn’t know how to leave the situation without it potentially escalating.

Keigo only smiles lazily, nodding at you and telling you not to worry, that he’s a pro hero, so it’s kind of my job, you know? Though for my favorite civilian, I don’t mind working overtime.

He winks at you after that, feeling only slightly anxious that you’ll find the action too arrogant, but you only blink owlishly at him, mumbling something about feeling guilty that it’s ‘overtime’. Keigo waves off your concerns, releasing your shoulder and trying not to show loss on his face.

You thank him again, smiling at him in a way that gets his knees very close to buckling, but he just clears his throat and nods, saluting you playfully and letting his wings flap, already a few feet in the air as he tells you to enjoy the rest of your night and to call him if any other creeps show up. You’re still smiling as he flies back over the roof of the building, but you don’t notice how he stops, peeking over the roof to see you make your way in the direction of the grocery store.

A small smile sits on his lips at the sight, smaller and more genuine than the smirk he’d been wearing moments ago.

Knew it, he thinks earnestly, already mentally predicting what you’ll pick up from the store. And as he hovers back into the air, cracking his neck and knuckles, he decides following you there couldn’t hurt – just in case any more men decide to mess with his woman. 

TAKING HIS DARLING AWAY:

Keigo’s obsession with you is overwhelming, terrifying, and pushes him to do a number of things that force his morals to be flung out the window of favor of keeping you safe, happy, his, but there’s still a few things that he can’t push himself to do, even with you in mind. One of these things is to steal you away.

 Kidnapping you is not something he wants to do – he may nurse a few beliefs about how you’ll eventually forgive him for being so obsessive and domineering over you, but Keigo isn’t stupid. He knows your image of him will never recover if he presses the chloroform-soaked rag up to your mouth and coos at you while you fall limp and into his arms.

He knows you’ll never truly forgive him if you wake up one morning in his apartment, breakfast in bed waiting beside you while he stares eagerly down at you, apologizing for having to be so extreme but trying desperately to convince you that he had no other choice, that he did it for you, that he did it to keep you safe.

He knows it won’t go over well, and Keigo already feels so unsure of how to properly court you and make you genuinely like him and not just Hawks that he doesn’t want to do something even slightly risky. He already knows that stalking you, breaking into your home at night to restock your refrigerator and lay beside you on your bed is crossing enough boundaries and grounds for you to be seriously afraid of him, but kidnapping you is a line he simply isn’t willing to cross.

At least, that’s how he initially feels – until something drastic happens, something that seriously threatens your safety and Keigo can’t just simply sit back and allow it to happen. And of course, it’s fucking Dabi – Keigo’s stomach drops when he hears you mention something about running into a man on your way over a cozy cup of coffee in a local café, the air warm and smelling of espresso.

He’d picked the café because he knew it wasn’t super busy – as much as his pride swells when civilians notice him and beg him for autographs and photos right in front of you, it also makes him nervous because the last thing he wants is to come off as cocky or arrogant or rude.

(Plus, the thought of making you jealous of his fans – especially the adoring women – gets his heart racing, his face and ears feeling hot because it makes him feel good that you’re being possessive over him, but he really doesn’t want you to worry. He’ll always be yours.)

But now he’s wishing it was full to the brim, voices chattering and making it difficult to hear the way you describe a man with so many piercings and a pretty serious skin condition came up to me, he knew my name! Keigo, why do you think he knew my name? Do you think I should be worried?

He’s stiff, every muscle in his body tense and his grip on the coffee cup in his hand so tight that it shatters, coffee and ceramic shards getting everywhere. He’s still staring at you, though, even as you gasp and stand up, running to grab some napkins and wipe up the still steaming coffee. There’s some on his hand but he doesn’t seem to care – to even notice, really, if the way he’s just staring and not even flinching is any indication.

Your brows furrow as you wipe the drink off of him, chest heaving slightly as you ask him if he’s okay, if it hurts, if he’s even listening to you. Keigo just swallows, still looking at you, before telling you with an unnervingly flat voice that it’s certainly weird, but I wouldn’t worry about it.

You don’t mention it again, instead trying to ignore the heavy atmosphere and the way he’s looking at you, all wide-eyed and not a single bit of emotion on his face. It’s scaring you, to be honest, and you’re quick to give him a small side hug and thank him for meeting you for coffee. Keigo mumbles something back as he watches you walk away, something prickling at the corners of his eyes that almost feel like tears as he imagines how Dabi could’ve possibly learned about you.

He’d been so fucking careful – always making sure to not let his phone ever directly point at your face or your address, never explicitly saying your full name in case he was being bugged, never even breathing any bit of information that the greedy bastard could get his hands on.

And yet, it’d all been for nothing – because now that Dabi knows about you, everything has changed. You’re in danger, because although Keigo believes that Dabi won’t immediately kill you, he can’t simply rely on his gut – you’re in danger. And although he’d promised himself he wouldn’t snatch you away, that he wouldn’t betray your trust and make you hate him, he doesn’t really have a choice now, does he?

And so, with a heavy heart and red, puffy eyes, Keigo slips into your apartment, the sleeping pills he’d mixed into your water sitting on your nightstand leaving you out like a light, even as he fabricates the crime scene. He’s shattering your window to mimic a home invader, tangling up your sheets and leaving dirty prints coming out your front door, your clothes ransacked and your television and computer destroyed.

It has to look real, after all – faking a death is difficult but he’s done it before, and as he soars away across town to his own apartment, with you clutched in his arms and your hair tickling his neck, Keigo can only whisper apologies against the crown of your head, squeezing his eyes closed and hoping that even in your unconscious state, you can feel how terribly, terribly sorry he is.

Of course, even though your kidnapping isn’t the idea situation for you or your captor, Keigo still tries to make the best of it. He doesn’t pretend to think that you’re happy with him – he expects the crying and screaming when you wake up the next morning, his expression carefully neutral as you accuse him of being a villain, a creep, even though it makes his chest ache in a way no injury ever has, his lips feeling numb because god, he can’t breath with how you look at him in disgust and hatred.

It’s horrible – but he grits his teeth and bares it, avoiding the pillows (lush and top-quality, of course, covered in sheets of your favorite color) you’re throwing at him, not saying anything until you’ve had your fill. And really, his explanation once you’d calmed down enough to listen to it isn’t nearly enough – he’s at a loss for words, really, looking at you with such honest eyes that it only makes you cry harder.

He’ll tell you that I need to keep you safe, and I – I’m selfish, so this is the only way. It’s lackluster and it’ll have you despising him, but as the days slowly pass, you’ll find yourself growing less and less enraged at him, instead growing more and more complacent about your new life.

Because really, Keigo absolutely fucking spoils you. He’s certainly not hurting financially, and he won’t bat an eye at buying anything and everything he thinks you could possibly want.

He’s getting takeout every night, ordering all your favorites (without having to ask you, of course, something that’d scared you at first, but there’s something about the way he eyes you as you eat it that makes you pause, his small, almost shy question of do you like it sounding rushed and nervous) and making sure to pick up snacks and goodies on his way home from almost every patrol. He loves to see you smile, and even in the beginning, when you’re still afraid of him and betrayed, the way your lips quirk up ever so slightly into the shadow of a smile when he hands you your favorite snack makes him gulp, something warm and overwhelming and hopeful bubbling up inside him.

He’s buying you pretty necklaces and jewelry that remind him of you, all the pieces startlingly within your tastes, his memory of the jewelry you used to wear so acute and strong that he knows your style even better than you do.

All of the clothing he buys for you (mostly comfortable clothing, lounging shirts and sweatpants and giant blanket ponchos) fits you perfectly, almost seeming to be tailored with the way they fit around your bust, hips, ass, shoulders, and thighs.

(He won’t buy you any formal clothing, however – he’s faked your death, and he can’t exactly take you out for a nice date now, can he? He wouldn’t mind doing a candle-lit dinner in his own apartment, maybe sprinkling a few rose petals over the table and cooking you something that he really, really needs you to like, but he knows you aren’t willing. You’d thrash and refuse, not eating his food and looking at him with those eyes, the ones that are hard and calloused and sting with pain. So, he instead purchases the pretty dresses with low tops and slits up the leg, storing them in his spare closet so that you never see them, so that you don’t feel forced into anything more than you don’t want. Kidnapping is enough – romantic dinners would be amazing, the kind of thing that Keigo thinks about with a small, sad smile on his face as he watches you sleep late at night, but certainly not a thing that could happen. Absolutely not – at least, not any time soon.)

He’s embracing each and ever artistic and creative passion you’ve ever had, buying you unfathomable amounts of supplies and instruments of the highest quality, waiting with baited breath to see if you like them, hoping with his hands clutched into fists at his side that you’ll smile at him, that you’ll look at him in anything other than hate – and perhaps, if he’s lucky enough, you’ll even thank him.

(Just the thought makes him shiver, a blush rising from his chest all the way up his neck because he can’t not immediately imagine the way you’d thank him – perhaps you’d give him a kiss, full of tongue and spit and moans, or maybe you’d even sink to your knees for him, telling him that you appreciate his thoughtfulness, his love, how he works so hard to keep me safe, won’t you let me thank you, Keigo? Please?)

It’s wishful thinking, of course, but Keigo tries to do everything humanly possible to keep you as happy as you can be given the situation. Of course, he’s still controlling, laying down rules that you’ll be too afraid to disobey, because although Keigo is soft with you and treats you like you’re made of glass, you’ve seen the televised fights, the way his knuckles are sometimes bruised after patrols, the way he snaps angrily into his phone when the Commission calls him with yet another assignment. He’s still dictating what you can eat, how much contact you get with the outside world, your limited sources of entertainment, anything and everything. But he tries his absolute hardest to respect you in every other way, if only to perhaps plant the seeds of you one day growing to tolerate him, of you one day even perhaps loving him.

And so, Keigo forces himself to do the hardest thing of all – not physically crowd you. He’s always wanted to be touchy with you, the years of not having anyone to hold or even give platonic physical affection causing him to be touch-starved, and so once you come into the picture?

Well, he’s only a man – he can’t help but imagine the way your hand would feel in his, fingers intertwined and your soft skin pressed against his own rougher hands.

He can’t help but imagine kissing you, feeling how soft and gentle your lips would be against his, how you taste, how you’d make little sighs and whines when he starts kissing you harder, deeper, letting even just the smallest sliver of his desperation for you shine through.

He can’t help but imagine pulling your body against his own, keeping every inch of you flush with him while you watch a movie together, his fingers toying absentmindedly with your hair, deep exhales sounding from behind you each time he leans in to catch a whiff of you.

He can’t not imagine the way you’d get all shy and bashful when the hand that’s been running up and down your sides suddenly dips lower, cupping at your ass while he lowly mumbles your name, telling you that he can’t hold back anymore, angel, can’t I have a taste?

He’s being good – he’s forcing all those urges and fantasies to the side, not putting you in a position where you feel forced into physical contact of any kind, sexual or otherwise. He’s respecting you, prioritizing you, even if it slowly destroys him. Having you right there, stuck with him, permanently bound to his side makes him want to grab onto you and never let go, to latch onto you like some sort of leech and take everything you have to offer and then some. It drives him fucking crazy, but he knows he’ll get nowhere by forcing anything onto you.

And so, he holds his tongue, forcing his hand to not reach out and touch, forcing himself to not say the compliment on the tip of his tongue that’ll likely make you more uncomfortable than flattered. He’s good, and eventually you’ll end up slowly coming to tolerate him. Sure, he’s kidnapped you and sure, you’re still understandably upset at him, but isn’t he right? You’d seen the man that approached you before Keigo stole you away – if he’d attacked you, what would you have done? You’d have hoped and prayed that Hawks would have shown up, that you’d been saved because you were too weak and incapable of doing it yourself.

So maybe he’s right – maybe you do need him, like he tells you late at night when he thinks you’re asleep. He sounds like he’s trying to convince himself, sounding more and more sure of himself as the night wears on and he repeats aloud that he’s keeping you safe, I’m keeping you safe, I know you don’t understand it now but someday you’ll realize that I only took you to keep you out of harm’s way.

And once you get past that barrier of hatred and animosity, it’s disturbingly easy to let Keigo take full control, to give into him in every possible way.

You’ll stop fighting his diet planning, you’ll gladly thank him for any book he gives you as entertainment, you’ll eagerly listen when he tells you about his patrol and how he encountered so many villains who’d done horrible things. And Keigo will notice this change in your attitude – it’s too early to tell and he’s always been too pessimistic to be hopeful, but you almost seem to be liking him. You’re starting to revert back to the woman he first became obsessed with – all smiles and laughter and snarky comments that left him choking on his drink.

And he can’t believe it – he has to pinch himself, staring at you in shock with a flushed face as you make some comment alluding to him being ‘too handsome for his own good’, the fork in his hand clattering down onto the plate. From there, it’s a steady trajectory up – you’ll start getting even more little knick-knacks, shiny things and expensive things that he leaves in pretty, bow-wrapped boxes for you, a card written in his best handwriting that says something along the lines of for my angel.

It’s cheesy and makes you laugh a bit, but Keigo keeps doing because god, please laugh like that again, say his name while you do it and maybe even reach out to touch his shoulder…

He jumps at the opportunity to further your changing opinion of him, determined to make you like him, determined to let him love you like he knows he can – like he’ll do anything to prove to you.

PUNISHMENTS:

As a general rule, getting Keigo upset with you is kind of difficult. He views you as his own personal slice of heaven, the only thing that he truly has. You’re the only thing that belongs to Keigo Takami, not Hawks, not the Commission, only him, and because of that he tends to idolize you.

You’re his first real romantic partner, his first real romantic experience, and the combination of that plus his intense, pitifully strong desire to please you makes it hard for him to stay angry at you for any significant period of time. And so, while he’s far from the ideal captor (too clingy, too controlling, too awed when he looks at you), Keigo will avoid punishing you at all costs.

He just doesn’t see the point – he doesn’t want you to hate him any more than you already do, and the thought of purposefully hurting you makes him feel physically ill. He hates seeing you in pain – it’s part of what drove him to steal you away, after all, the terror he felt at knowingly putting you in harm’s way. He’s protective and frankly anal about your health, and so to purposefully bruise your pretty skin or make you cry makes him angry enough to want to hit something, angry enough to literally writhe in his own rage.

And so, Keigo swears off any sort of physical altercations with you – he’s just too strong and you’re just too weak, and it would break him to know that he was the source of your pain and misery.

(He knows he is, already, but he can’t be the source of it physically, too, otherwise he might just shatter, feeling entirely numb and carrying out his missions like a robot, utterly unaffected by the world because he hurt you, and can he even call himself a decent hero, a decent man after that?)

However, while causing you physical harm is off the table, Keigo is realistic enough about your situation to know that punishing you entirely is something he can’t avoid. You will act out, he’s sure of it – he’d be concerned if you didn’t, really, and so he’s expecting you to lash out at him and try to hurt him. If he were you, he’d do it too.

But as much as he expects this behavior and wouldn’t fault you for it, Keigo knows that if he wants to make any progress, if he wants to give you even a chance at eventually growing complacent (it’s a selfish desire, really, but it’s the only route he can see to where you’ll be even remotely happy, or at least not fighting tooth and nail at all costs), he has to establish repercussions for when you’re throwing tantrums or acting poorly.

It feels condescending and Keigo hates it, but he decides that where physical punishments fail, he must rely on emotional ones. It’s manipulative and it makes Keigo feel dirty, disgusting, like a poor excuse for your so-called-protector, but it’s his only choice. He has to get you into shape, both for your sake and his. It’s the only choice, he swears.

You really hadn’t meant to stumble upon something you weren’t supposed to find, really. As a general rule, you don’t snoop through Keigo’s things – he’s a clean freak, first of all, the apartment he keeps you in minimalistic with everything in its correct spot. It’s classy and pretty, sure, but it’s boring, and can you really be blamed for wanting to explore after a few weeks cooped up in this penthouse?

Certainly not – which is how you find yourself tiptoeing into Keigo’s bedroom – he’d brought up the idea of sharing a bed multiple times only to be outright refused by you, and so he kept his things in this separate room. And it wasn’t explicitly off-limits, your captor never actually telling you that you couldn’t venture in. And so here you are, opening up the tall, wooden cabinet in the corner of the room and immediately sucking in a sharp breath at what you find.

You’d known Keigo had stalked you, the confession slipping from his lips early on into your captivity and the evidence difficult to deny.

(How else could he have known all your preferences before you ever voice them, knowing the way you like your morning drink, the products you use in the shower, hell, even the way you sleep – getting the pillows you like, pajamas similar to your own, even the type of sheet you prefer.)

You’d known, sure, but this – this is something else entirely. The cabinet’s housing a variety of items that send a chill down your spine because they’re yours.

An old bottle of perfume sits on the corner, the brand name smudged off from wear, and you bite your lip as you notice it’s still got just a bit left, though not nearly the amount you remember when it’d gone missing a few months ago. Your nose scrunches at the thought of him using your perfume, and bile rises in the back of your throat as you start imagining exactly how it’d been used, for what purpose and how often for that much to be gone.

There’s a few old lip balms sitting there, organized by flavor – cherry at the right, then melon, then mint, then peach and coconut. You don’t bother looking at them closely, too nervous to find signs of usage from someone other than you. (Which is good: the mint flavored Chapstick’s missing a chunk, with  what looks like teeth marks sunken into the material.)

There’s an old hairbrush you thought you’d left at a friend’s place, still a few tufts of hair left between the bristles, though something seems to be crusted against the handle, and you wince at the thought of what that could possibly be. You’re scared, really, your heart screaming at you to stop searching, begging you to not look deeper because you don’t want to know what else he’s stolen from you, but your mind urges you to keep going, some sort of sick urge to know exactly what he’s taken, why he’s taken it.

(Though, you think you already know – the way he leans in close to smell you when he thinks he’s being subtle is telling, as is the way he has you sort out your used period products into a separate waste container, telling you that it's because the pads he gives you are compostable. You’ve seen the way the bags linger, though, staying in his bathroom, blood sometimes sitting under his nails when he emerges, eyes dilated and licking his lips at you.)

But as soon as you spot the photographs, you crumble.

Of course you’d known he was stalking you, following your every move and watching you at your most vulnerable, but somehow this is worse – there’s dozens of them, stacked neatly in piles that you can’t even begin to understand. Leafing through them with shaking fingers, they only seem to get worse and worse, images of you laying on your couch, cooking, doing your makeup, changing into your bathrobe, sleeping, and oh god, there’s even one of you on your bed, legs spread and fingers thrusting and rubbing and oh god you’re going to be sick-

The photographs fall from your fingertips as you shakily take a few steps back, the sound of the front door opening and Keigo’s call of I’m home making panic swim in your veins. He’s quick to come find you, asking you in a voice that’s edging on concerned where you are, but when he steps into his bedroom and spots you against the far wall, hands covering your mouth and the wooden door open and askew, Keigo’s clenching his teeth, jaw working.

Oh, is all he has to say, and it snaps you out of your horror.

Oh? That’s it? That’s fucking it, Keigo? What – what is this? You’re sick, a sick freak! Why do you have my stuff? What’s wrong with you? You’re yelling, pushing yourself further against the wall, and he can only frown, irritation and worry eating away at him because god, hearing you so upset is physically hurting him but there’s nothing he can do.

You weren’t supposed to see that, it’s, uh… He trails off, mind racing and panicking as he tries to think of what to say, but you don’t let the silence sit for long.

There’s something wrong with you, you’re a fucking monster! You think you’re a hero? Stalking some poor civilian, stealing her shit, photographing her while she’s sleeping? You’re disgusting, a horrible, twisted, sick creep! Stay away from me!

You’re crawling backwards away from him as he comes towards you, his hands in front of him as a sign of peace. You’re crying, he can see, and it only makes his chest ache more, shame and self-loathing away at him because you’re right – he’s sick in the head, he knows it, but he can’t help it.

I know, I know, calm down, you’re going to hurt yourself if you don’t stop crying, angel –

It's the wrong thing to say and he immediately knows it, because you give him a glare that makes something sharp dig into his heart, so much so that he physically clutches at his chest, wincing and averting his eyes from yours.

I hate you, Keigo, you whisper, and it makes something ugly come from his throat, a mix between a gasp and a whimper. I hate you I hate you I hate you.

He’s frozen for a moment, before swallowing, nodding his head and blinking the tears out of his eyes. I know, he starts, before turning on his heel and walking towards the doorway to the bedroom. I know you hate me, but you’re stuck with me.

And with that he walks to the front door, slamming it behind him and leaving the apartment empty. You stay curled up on the ground for a few minutes, still crying and hiccupping, the influx of emotion making your head ache. You’d been here for weeks now, and you thought you’d moved on from these crying episodes, from these emotional outbursts, but something about the photos had opened the floodgates.

After another ten minutes, you shakily get up, still rubbing at your eyes and avoiding looking at the wooden cabinet. You all but sprint to your own bed – the bed he gave you, at least – and curl up on top of it, letting your eyes shut and exhaustion fall over you. It’s not until you wake a few hours later that you notice Keigo still hasn’t returned home yet.

That was odd – he’s not on shift, and it was the middle of the night by now. Where was he? Shaking your head, flashes of the photographs race through your head, forcing you to stop thinking of Keigo. The night is quiet as you make yourself something small to eat – a piece of bread and a small amount of the low-fat butter Keigo eats, the apartment still eerily quiet.

You fall into a restless slumber soon after, your dreams filled with the sensation of something – someone – watching over your sleeping form.

When you awake, there’s still no sign of him – everything’s quiet and empty, and you bite your lip, equal parts relieved that he’s nowhere in sight but also slightly concerned. The feeling looms over you as the day slips away, his presence still gone. It’s not until two days later that Keigo finally returns home, and by that point the paranoia at his absence leaves you perking up when you hear the faint jingling of keys.

You’re immediately on your feet, practically tripping as you run to the front door, eager for him to return, eager to not be all alone and scared – something you’d realized about a day ago. You’d actually been afraid of his absence. Perhaps it was survival, wanting to make sure you had enough food and someone with the locks to all the keys that’d be able to let you out, or perhaps it was that you needed him. Maybe you needed some human contact, the total silence and your inability to contact anyone driving you stir crazy.

Regardless, you wait with eager anticipation as Keigo opens the door, those yellow eyes immediately catching yours, his expression carefully neutral though you can see something behind the practiced apathy. It’s relief, you think, and something else – something more desperate, something more vulnerable, something that makes you launch yourself into his arms, nearly knocking the wind out of him as he stares wildly down at you, shock written all across his face.

He’d expected that you’d be relieved that he came home, happy to have your source of food and care back, but not this excited – he swallows, frantically trying to not focus on the way your body is pressing against his and how he can feel all of you, instead letting his arms hesitantly wrap around you, not wanting to scare you.

You’re saying his name, he realizes, and he furrows his brows, closing his eyes and letting the sound ring through his ears. It’s wrong to be enjoying your clearly distraught state and he knows it, but he can’t help it – you’ve never initiated physical contact like this before, and is it really such a crime to be enjoying it?

I’m here, angel, ‘m here, he tells you, petting a hand over your hair and letting you squeeze him tighter. Please never leave me again, Keigo, please!

You’re begging him, he realizes, and it forces him to hug you just a bit tighter, his wings coming down to join the hug to. Closing his eyes again, Keigo lets out a slow, deep sigh, relishing in the way you’re clinging to him for comfort, begging him to never leave you for a moment.

And as he whispers a small I’m yours, I’ll never leave you again, you can only nod against his chest, disgusted with yourself for this display of your dependence on him. Because really, when had you become so fond of your captor? The photographs are still on the ground in his bedroom, all the things he's stolen from you sitting in that damned cabinet, but you find yourself not caring.

As you breathe in the now familiar smell of his cologne, hear his heart pounding away in his chest, you find that you don’t care about anything, really – because perhaps what he’s been saying along is really true.

Maybe you are in need of protection, needing him to provide for you. Because you’d been left alone for three days, and what do you have to show for it? Panic, loneliness, fear that he’d left you behind? Maybe you really are just as weak as he makes you out to be – and as you slowly pull back from the hug, you find yourself ever so briefly being thankful for him.

Thankful that you’ve finally, finally found where you belong: by Keigo’s side, letting him fawn over you and keep you locked up like some prized pet.

OVERALL DANGER:

6/10

Keigo is less dangerous and more paranoid. He has so many alter egos and warring identities that once you come along, encouraging him to just be Keigo around you rather than Pro Hero Hawks or PLF Hawks, he can’t let you slip away.

There’s something about you that doesn’t leave his mind – perhaps it’s your mannerisms, your looks, the way you speak, how you walk and how you smell and how you think. Maybe it’s some twisted form of fate, or some long-repressed part of his quirk that’s beginning him to finally find a companion, a mate, someone to share himself with.

Regardless, once Keigo’s obsession forms, he’s a lost cause – he’s thinking of you constantly, unable to stop his mind from wandering into idle thoughts of what you’re doing or how you’re feeling. He finds himself unconsciously trailing behind you, watching over you from above with those sharp eyes of his narrowed in on your form, studying and memorizing the curves of your body underneath your clothing, the way you walk ingrained into him so deeply that when he closes his eyes all he sees is you.

His paranoia grows as his obsession does, too, the worrying realization that you’re weak making it difficult for him to ever part from you, anxiety swimming in his gut because what if you get hurt and he isn’t there to help you? What if you get into trouble and he isn’t there to swoop and be your savior?

(Some sick, twisted part of him almost wishes you would run into trouble, just so he could put himself into the position of being your knight in shining armor, of making you swoon for him, feeling the way you’d be so very grateful and want to make it up to him in any way you could. He forces the thought down, disgusted with himself for fantasizing about you being in danger, but during long nights where he tosses and turns in his too-empty and too-cold bed, the thought of you looking at him in such awe and gratitude makes something warm, wet, and shameful throb to life between his legs.)

He does eventually kidnap you, yes, but as time passes you’ll find that slowly you’ll stop caring about how he keeps you trapped by his side, how he controls your every day life, how he forces you into all sorts of loungey, comfortable clothing that always smells like him. Because really, Keigo is awfully pathetic – he thinks he’s good at hiding just how badly you affect him, but you can see the way he perks up when you enter a room, looking so hopefully and lovesick as he gazes at you that it almost hurts.

You’ll be able to tell how his heart is racing in his chest when you get close to him, his breath turning ragged and his palms so sweaty that when he wipes them on his pants they leave wet marks. It’s pathetic, sad, cute, and as time passes with Keigo as the only person in your life, slowly you’ll begin wondering if being loved by him isn’t bad.

Is what Keigo can give you – protection, adoration, reliability, devotion – really so bad? Is it so bad to just be loved?

And Keigo will be there waiting for you once you finally come around, his hands trembling as he hugs you, burying his face into your neck and you swear you feel something wet against your skin, his tears tickling you as his shoulders shake. He just loves you, and how cruel can you be to reject him, to leave him without the only person he’s ever cared for?

How could you be such a monster?

[pastanest]

Spencer Reid x gn!reader

A/N: been gone for a hot minute due to personal circumstances but just wanted to drop a lil something (that anyone who watches Doctor Who will be able to tell I started writing a BIT ago given the references here lol) to let you guys know I’m still kickin it <3

warnings: slight hint at an age gap but nothing specific

A Smile

You can imagine the rest of the team would be floored to hear that Spencer has actually exchanged texts with you on a multitude of occasions, outside of professional settings. Numbers were swapped on your first day, naturally, and to begin with you only dared text Spencer if you had absolutely no other choice (if another member of the team could text him, you’d busy yourself to ensure they would, rather than ask you, to save you the embarrassment). But, ever since the first occasion that you texted Spencer a random question out of hours - regarding trivia you definitely hadn’t spent a concerning amount of time deciding on before you sent it to him - you have formed a bond that’s unspoken beyond typed words.

You: so, are you looking forward to the 60th Anniversary? :P

As you hit send, you roll onto your bed, grinning giddily down at your phone. In no more than a few seconds, your screen tells you that your beloved genius is already typing back to you, and within a minute, you receive the paragraph you’d anticipated.

Spencer: Absolutely. The revival of Russel T. Davies’ era, coupled with the return of Murray Gold’s legendary scores, are sure to ignite the spark of nostalgia that the show has been missing for some time. In particular, I am looking forward to seeing how Russel will format this new regeneration of the Doctor, and how many references to his predecessors will decorate the anniversary episodes, especially. I take it you are excited for the anniversary episodes, too, hence the question?

His formality and enthusiasm being conveyed in a way that is so distinctly Spencer, even over text, is enough to have you giggling. You know by now that if you ask something about one of Spencer’s interests, whether it be facts, statistics, generalized trivia, questions, literature, Star Trek or, in this case, Doctor Who, there is no way he can downplay his excitement.

You: knew it! :D and yeah, I'm super excited!!

Mostly, you are thrilled by the thought of discussing the episodes at great length with Spencer for weeks after they’ve aired, but you keep that safely in the subtext of your conversation.

Spencer: Of course you knew. Perhaps we could share a live commentary on the anniversary episodes, if we’re not otherwise engaged with a case?

Only Spencer Reid can make your heart stop with a suggestion like that. Before you can consider any consequences, you are frantically typing back to him.

You: I’d love that! will the commentary be by text or call?

He is typing the moment your message reaches him, his ability to read at what you consider to be the speed of light making for a wonderfully speedy texting partner in every conversation you have.

Spencer: Either is fine, but if we aren’t away on a case, I must admit the idea of experiencing the episodes together in person would be most preferable. It eradicates the risk of our viewings not being synced up or our call connection potentially spoiling the immersion. What do you think?

And just like that, he’s stopped your heart again. In fact, you truly have to consider whether Spencer Reid has figured out a means of reaching through his phone to yours, to snatch your heart right out of your chest. As though he hadn’t already stolen it on the day you met.

You: I think you’re right, like always, Doctor Reid :P

That’s a rational reply, you think. Not too eager. Not the resounding ‘yes’ that every fiber of your being is screaming. In the chess game that is how-to-text-Spencer-Reid, you have marked yourself as the queen. He’d tell you that’s not how chess works, but he’d probably also agree.

Spencer: I’m far from right “always”, but I very much appreciate that you think so.

You’re about to reply, when another text appears on your screen.

Spencer: (:

Doctor Spencer Reid has double-texted you. And, not only that, he’s sent you a smiley face. This is unprecedented. Your jaw drops.

You: omg you did not just send that

Honestly, your life is flashing before your eyes as you lie on your bed. Is this the power of your influence? Could you truly indoctrinate older men into sending emojis? Could this really be you?

Spencer: I most certainly did. I’ll even do it again.

Spencer: (:

He had to send it as a separate text. He couldn’t just add the smiley face to the end of his original message. No, of course he couldn’t.

You: omg who are you!!

You’re laughing now. Actually, properly laughing at the ridiculousness of this situation. Wait until Penelope hears about this.

Spencer: I don’t think these suit me very much, but they are fun. What about this one - 🙂

This is going too far. You’ve played God. You’ve flown too close to the sun. You’ve created a monster in the form of Spencer Reid using emojis while still being so formal. Still, you can’t deny that this is perhaps the funniest conversation you have ever had, with anyone, specifically because it perfectly demonstrates the unique humor shared between the two of you.

You: woah! careful! don’t push it, genius!!

And, in response to that, Spencer Reid is left with a philosophical question he has never before pondered: how does one convey sincere laughter via text? This reply takes him the longest, because he has to consider it very carefully. He wants it to indicate how funny he did find your message, and does find you, in general. He wants it to be obvious in its intent and impossible to misunderstand. So, after four minutes, you receive a text that has you laughing so hard you very nearly fall off of your bed.

Spencer: Haha.

Sometimes, that’s simply how your text conversations with Spencer end. While he does, generally, prefer a more traditional ending in the form of a goodnight text (that he actually makes the effort to sign off with a “- Spencer x”, like it’s a handwritten letter), he enjoys the nuances of an open end, on the basis it means a conversation with you doesn’t have to end. Only has to pause, temporarily, until one of you picks it back up again. There is something poetic, Spencer thinks, to the notion of you being his constant both in metaphor and literally in a text conversation that isn’t formally closed. That door is left open to you, much like the door to his heart is.

And that night, he closes his eyes with a smile on his face at the thought of you, everything you are, everything you make him feel. Everything that makes you, you, and how that makes you everything to him.

A text could never truly convey the heaven that you bring to him by existing, but just like proposing plans to watch Doctor Who with you, it’s a good place to start.

[lady-mimis]

I WISH YOU WOULD - BATMAN

Summary: Where your relationship with Bruce didn't end up well but you still love him

English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes that might be on the text

Notes: Hey guys! I'm back with an imagine of my favorite hero. I stopped to write for nnt, but I still have some imagines ready so I will post eventually. For me Bruce is such a dads girl. This took me a long time, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Violence and language

------------------------------------------------------------

"Mommy?" Your daughter called you. You were working on your laptop while your daughter was watching TV.

Tim and Damian asked for your help in some kind of security program they developed, so you were just reviewing and improving the system

"Yeah baby? what's wrong?" You stop typing and look at her.

She was hugging her giraffe plush. It was a gift from her dad. She is such a daddy's girl

"I was wondering..... if you could tell me about you and daddy?" She ask curiously with those big blue, bright eyes

The question took you by surprise. She is still a curious kid, of course, but you wonder why she wants to know it now

She was a copy of her father, except that she has some of your features. Its funny how you waited nine months for your baby to be born with her fathers features

"Hmm, what do you wanna know? Can i ask why the sudden interest?" You asked your baby daughter, then sat beside her on the couch, putting a cushion in your lap

"I want to know how you two met each other, I mean you two are not together anymore but you were one day, right?" She questioned you with an innocence that you felt your heart shake a little.

Thinking about how she feels with her parents not being together. You remember once she was saying something about all of her friends having parents who are married and live together. Of course, you tried to explain that your situation is not so simple, but she was just a kid and couldn't understand anything

"Yeah, darling well.... I met your father at work, he was my boss"

You revive everything in your head

------------------------------------------------------------

"Good morning, Lucius! I brought some coffee for us" You entered the laboratory, greeting your coworker and put your bag on your table

You worked for Wayne Enterprises and were responsible for the technology that Batman held since the company funded him and his equipment

You were working on a motorcycle for Batman since he asked for

This project was a direct order from your boss, Bruce Wayne. You had never meet him, he was always busy being a playboy

Lucius was the vice president of the company, so he had a lot of work to do. You impressed with how he would help you and find time to be a businessman

"I'm glad you're here, today we have a lot of work" He thanks you for the coffee

After hours in the laboratory, you get ready to leave

"Hey baby let's talk please, don't dare ignore me again!" An unknown number sent you a message, but you already knew who it was

"Answer bitch!" Again

"I need you baby! I can't live without you!"

Your ex boyfriend calls you, but you refuse the call

How did he find your new number? You were angry about him harassing you since you two broke up

"Stop calling me! we broke up. Stop it" Sighing deeply, you reply

"You're okay?" Lucius asks you curiously, raising his eyebrows

"I'm just tired, you know, Matthew has been kind of asshole and... " You fake a smile for him not worry about you

You stop your commentary after hearing the voice of the artificial intelligence of the laboratory announce someone

"Access confirmed. Welcome, Bruce Wayne" The AI greets him

"Bruce, what a pleasure! (Y/N) this is Bruce" Lucius introduce you to him. He is excited for Bruce to finally meet you

Well, you have to admit that he is not only handsome. Bruce Wayne is hot as hell

He looked at you, head to toe and licked his lips. He smiles to you with an arrogant smile and offers his hand for you to shake

What a skirt chaser!

"Enchanted to meet you" You shake his big, rough hands. He looks around, analyzing the lab

Bruce Wayne has an elegant posture. He was wearing a black, expensive suit, probably tailored just for him. This suit must have cost all of your salary

He walks through the lab with a confident posture, analyzing everything around him

"So you're the one who made the Batmobile upgrades" He states uninterested

Okay, you were not hoping for him to know that

"Yeah, it's me. I'm working on the motorcycle project too" You said proudly, pointing to the prototype that was in the center of the lab

Adjusting your white coat, you grab the sketches of the project in your pocket

"Well, I see you're doing good. Have you already made any tests?" He looks satisfied with the prototype

"Not yet, still working on the motor " You give him the sketches, then point at the motor sketch

"it looks excellent! I'm really impressed. Now I know why Lucius trusts so much in your work" He smiled charmingly, winking at you

You couldn't help but roll your eyes. Is he really like this?

"Thank you.... I think" Looking at your watch, checking the hours

"I better go. It's starting to get dark" You grab your things and walk to the door

"Take care (Y/N)!" Lucius bids you farewell

"It was lovely to meet you (Y/N), I hope to see you again" Bruce gave a head nod

"Wait (Y/N)!" Bruce calls you, making you stop and stare him, raising an eyebrow at him

"What you think about a dinner?" Bruce asks with a cocky smile, and you find it charming, but no way you're going on a date with him. That could work with other women, but not with you

Bruce asked you out the first day he met you! HE WAS TRULY A WOMANIZER LIKE THE NEWS SAYS

You had recently broken up so you were not thinking about a relationship at that moment

"Thanks but no" You fake a sorrowful look and then smile, winking, teasing him

You leave to your house before gets too dark

------------------------------------------------------------

That night, you were watching TV on your couch. It was almost midnight

You heard a car stop by the front of your house and assumed that it was one of your neighbors

"Where are you? I'm here. Let's talk " he typed

Okay, you're starting to get scared

You walk towards the window, seeing his car in front of your house

"No! Leave!" You reply in panic

"Baby, open the door!" He knocks on the door, gently at first but then harder

"Leave me alone! I don't want to talk to you!" You say it loud enough for him to hear it

"Open the fucking door!" A strong knock. He was beating the door, and in a little time he would open it

You grabbed your phone and ran to your room, calling the police. You close the door of your room, hiding yourself in your closet

Tears were all over your face

"911, what's your emergency?" The policeman asked by phone

"My ex boyfriend.... is trying to enter my home and i ...... " A loud thud echos through the house. He entered in your home

"He's here, please help me!" You whisper, crying in despair

You passed your address to him

"We are sending the police, stay hidden until the police come, please stay in the line"

You could hear him on the underfloor, looking for you

"Baby, let's talk. You know how much i love you!" He always said this

"I can't live without you, you're so good for me, I will kill myself if you don't show up. IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT!!" He screamed with angry

He was coming closer, and you knew that the police would not make in time

"Let's just talk, babe, we can fix this. I CAN FIX THIS!" His voice echoed behind the door as he tried to get into the room

He was kicking the door, and you knew how the material would not resist

"We can comeback together, it's just show up and say yes!" He broke in

He was close, and you could see his shadow through the door of the closet

He has a knife with him

You knew he had found you. He was walking toward the closet

"I don't want to talk to you! LEAVE ME ALONE! I FUCKING HATE YOU, WHY YOU DOING THIS TO ME??" Screaming stunned

When he stops by the closet door, something caught him by surprise and he falls to the floor

A shadow figure was in top of him

The shadow figure knocks out your ex boyfriend

"It's safe now, you can get out of there" A male deep voice spoke, it sounded almost robotic, maybe it was some kind of voice modification

You got out of the closet, and you stared at your unconscious ex

That shadow figure was standing by the side of your ex's damaged body

Then you saw your hero, Batman.

"I..." You could not say a single phrase without sobbing

He stayed there till police siren sounds could be heard, then he just disappears

Batman had saved you that night, if wasn't for him, probably you would not be alive. You were grateful to Batman

You're remembered that night all too well, it was a complete nightmare

------------------------------------------------------------

The next day after the incident you were given the day off by Lucius.

You stayed at your sister place until you found a new place for you

You had to comeback to your work, everything was so stressful and worst Bruce keep showing up and continue flerting with you

------------------------------------------------------------

You were on the park lot alone, fetching your car keys, and you feel a presence behind you

You froze

Someone put a hand on your shoulder

"Hey, you alright?" Bruce Wayne ask in a worried tone

You felt so relieved to see it was just him

"Yes, i just got scared, you simply didn't make any walking sounds" You observe him, and take a deep breath

"Oh, i'm sorry about that.. what do you say about dinner as sorry?" Bruce offered, scratching his throat, making a slight frown, and put his hands on his pocket, trying to hide his nervous

That's new, he was always too confident and cocky. Now he just look like a normal guy

So you decide to be honest

"Look, Bruce i will be honest with you, I recently broke up. It's been hard times for me, i am not looking for a date at the moment" You look at him with soft eyes, denying his offer gently

That made Bruce nod in knowledge and look at the floor for a moment. He admired your honesty

"Well... that doesn't mean we can't be friends" Still not convinced he waits for your response

Friends? WITH BRUCE WAYNE? That was a good joke, but he seemed serious about it

With everything that has been happening, maybe you need to relax. You didn't have many friends. All of your friends live in other towns. So why not?

"Hmm.. fine we can dinner together as friends" You hesitantly accept looking at his ocean blue eyes. Somehow, his eyes pass you peace and truth

"Friends then" He smirked and offered his arm to you, guiding you to his car

It was a great night. Nice jokes and good food

That has become a tradition between you and Bruce since that day. You get to know Bruce better and overcome your prejudices about him

------------------------------------------------------------

You could say that you had a soft spot for Bruce

You even met his first kid.

It was a surprise when he told you about Dick. You had never thought about Bruce being a single dad.

You tried help him with his dads duties but he always declined your help. Even with his interventions, you continued to help him to raise Dick

You remember telling Bruce to go easier with Dick

And finally, he opened up with you, asking advice on how to improve to be a good dad for Dick

Dick was a nice kid but had a sad story. He always used to tell you how Bruce was hard on him and how he wanted some freedom

So sometimes you would take him to do things that a normal kid would do

------------------------------------------------------------

When you found out about Batmans identity, you freaked out

You were working on the maintenance of the security of the labs

Everything there was powerful and presented some danger. So the technology couldn't end up in the wrong hands

The access was only permitted if the people had registered fingerprint and eye identification

You noted that Bruce and Batman had the same fingerprint and eye identification.

He had saved you that night

When he entered the lab, you embrace him so tightly

All you could say was "thank you" sobbing

Bruce got very confused and worried about you

After a few moments he connected the pieces

He asked you to work only for him in his cave and his Batlab, as you called it

You accepted Bruces offer to work for him.

Most of the time, you would work with him or Alfred on the projects. Alfred always commented to you about how you and Bruce were a good duo

Alfred told you, you were the first person that Bruce let into his life. How was he different after you

------------------------------------------------------------

You had been friends with Bruce for almost two years

You were at the annual Wayne gala

Bruce had invited you personally and told you how much Jason insisted on your presence. Bruce had recently adopted Jason since Dick left for Jump City

Of course, you didn't approve the kids being his sidekicks. It was not ideal for them, but that was the form they found to let go of the fury and anger they felt inside. Bruce knew it better like no one

Jason was a tough kid, but all he wanted was Bruce's attention. Yet Bruce would be more hard on Jason than he has been with Dick

Jason had a hard life, and even being tough he was still a kid. All he needed was love and kindness. So you did what Bruce didn't. You helped him with everything, homework, patching him, you both played video game together

You taught him everything you knew, how to cook, how to hack, how to make analysis, how to program and more.

"(Y/N) You heard me?" Jason poked you but you couldn't take your eyes of Bruce

Bruce is the host of the party,and of course there will be people around him but you can't avoid to feel jealous at the surrounding women

Bruce was talking with a blonde beautiful woman for a long time

"Sorry jay, what were you saying?" You give him a soft look, messing with his hair

"Its about the new ship you are working, I liked the design its so badass" He said, excited about this project.

Jason was your little assistant in the Batlab

You nod, smiling and keep talking with him until Alfred interruption

"Sorry to interrupt you, Miss (Y/N), but I believe its time for Master Jason go to bed" Alfred explained and put a hand on Jasons shoulders

"Can (Y/N) put me to bed?" Jason asks in a low tone, looking at you with pleading eyes

How cute, your heart melt away with that. How can you say no to him?

Alfred looks to you, waiting your response

"Don't worry, Alfred, I don't care doing it" You shrug, guiding Jason to his room

You were both in his room. His room was all decorated with cream and red tones. The room has some posters of some old popular cartoons you both watch together, and some action figures on the shelf on the wall where the writing desk is. Some books you had gave him as gifts are on top of the desk

He was laying on bed, and you covered him with the red blankets

"Do you think you can sleep with that music?" You ask, fixing the blankets so he could be warm

"Yes, it's not that loud from here" Jason makes himself comfortable

"Thanks (Y/N), it makes me feel home" Jason smile to you, the mix of blue and green of his shining eyes makes he looks so innocent

He was looking at you like you were his whole world

"Good night Jay, I'll see you tomorrow after school in the Batcave" You kiss his forehead and turn off the lights

You lead to the door, ready to leave

"Good night, mom" Jason whispered sleepy

OH MY DID HE JUST CALLED YOU MOM? You stop, stunned in front of the door, felling a mix of emotions

When you got out, Bruce was standing there like a ghost

"Ohh! You scared me! Stop showing up out of nowhere" You raise your hand to your chest, breathing heavily

"You didn't need to do it" Bruce crossed his arms seriously, taking a look at Jason's asleep form

Bruce was in front of you, blocking your passage back to the party. His huge form was hovering you

"I wanted to do it, Bruce" You state, putting your hand on his chest to get him out of your way, but he does't move

So you raise an eyebrow to him. What was he doing? Trying to intimidate you or whatever?

"I thought you would pass the night talking with that blonde woman?" You comment. Maybe a little too rude

You perceive the frown on his lips and how his eyebrows grew closer

"As the host, I have to talk with the guests" He narrows his gaze to you. You hate when he does it

He unblocked the passage, still staring you

You turn back to the party, ignoring his stare

After that, you felt frustrated and resolved to drink to drown your sorrows

At the end of the night, you were a little drunk....okay, so much drunk that your voice was nasal and you were hiccuping

That time, Bruce was chatting with a beautiful brunette woman, and she put her hand on his chest. Okay, that's enough. The jealousy made your face turn red and warm.

You roll your eyes, ready to leave the party.

Bruce was so stupid, why do you care about the women around him? You are nothing to him, just a friend. You hated that feeling, you hate how Bruce makes you feel stupid

You were leaving, but an arm grabbed your hand, stopping you. In the movement to turn around, you stumbled on your feet.

The arms hold you by the waist so you don't fall

"I got you" Bruce is the one helping you. His arms are so big and warm

"What you're doing? leave me... hic.. Bruce" You tell him, trying to get out of his hold while he leads you to the manor

"I'm not gonna let you leave alone in this state. You're drunk (Y/N)" Bruce keeps his hold on you, until you are in his room

"It's your fault, when you were talking with those hotties, I was... hic...drinking by myself" You say with a joking tone and get out of his hold to sit at his bed

"Are you jealous (Y/N)?" Bruce asks, having fun with the situation

"NO! nrgh!" You sink your head into his pillow

"So do you care to share why you are so drunk? We both know you do not drink like that" He asked curiously, looking at you with those beautiful eyes

"Just to shut out... hic.. my emotions. Its was... hic...so loud" You said, snorting with your nasal voice

Bruce chuckles at your comment and leans himself on the wall

"You know you can tell me, right?" Bruce crossed his arms, but his voice sounded soft

"Right, I just disappointed...hic.. that you didn't have any time for me just because you were talking..hic... with your hotties. We are friends, right?" Whispering the last part.

Who were you trying to convince? You or him? You were already over heels for him

Bruce just raised an eyebrow for you, he knew you, and the fact that you just lied to him

"Tell me (Y/N) what really happened for you to get that drunk?" He came closer and stopped in front of you, analyzing you

He is curious, you are not the heavy drinker type. To be honest, he never saw you so drunk as tonight

It was dark in the room, just the moonlight light it. Bruce eyes shone intensely in the dark of the room, his eyes look like the ocean

"You happen, Bruce, I cant keep pretending that i don't feel nothing for you" Your voice is so low that you barely hear it

Nervousness ruins through your body. You start to roll your rings on your fingers.

"Pardon me?" Bruce says confused

He doubts that he heard what you said. He shifts his weight, trying to stay calm. Probably you are just too drunk and were babbling

So you decide to speak out loud

"Damn it! I was so jealous, you can have any woman in your arms anytime you want! I hate see you with another woman, and how I'm not the one in your arms. Your stupid blue ocean eyes that hypnotize me..." Bruce interrupts your sentence and kisses you with desire

"You're the one that I want. The one who has my heart. (Y/N), you don't have to worry about the others women" Bruce cups your face and rubs your cheeks, pecking your lips

He let go of you and stepped back smirking at your shock form

"Okay Bruce now you got me! You always found a ... hic.. way to shock me" You toss yourself in his bed, and your nasal giggles fill the lifeless room

"Well? what can i do? I have been waiting since the day we met for you to realize the great eligible bachelor that I am" His crooked smile makes you laugh hard

"Tsc, you're to cocky, hic.. that time you were the biggest womanizer of the whole country" You state, and hear his laugh echo in the room

Bruce chuckles at your state the bed, your cheeks are red from drinking, and your hair is a little messy, but he finds it cute. You are a sloppy, happy drunk.

How you love his laugh, his smile, and his beautiful eyes. You love everything about him. Okay, sometimes he's a pain in the ass, but still you love him

Then he walks to the door without making any sound

"I should let you rest" Bruce says, opening the door

"Can't you stay?" You watch him hesitantly stop in the front of the door

"Pleasee?..hic" You plead

------------------------------------------------------------

At first, your relationship was wonderful. Bruce was a caring boyfriend and a good partner

Then Jason died

You were completely broken

You loved him so much. The pain was unbearable

Bruce was dealing with his grief on his own. You knew how he blamed himself for Jason's death. He felt regret for being so hard on Jason

You hated how Bruce closed himself off from you

Everything has changed

Bruce was cold, quiet and reserved

Bruce was not the same person you used to know

The fights started

Time passed, and you two had to move on

------------------------------------------------------------

When you discovered about Damian's existence. You felt devastated, mostly because Bruce didn't plan to tell you

It was a shock for you when you found a boy who looked like Bruce in the living room

He was just seven years old. About the time you and Bruce started to date

The fights started all over

You were in the batcave. Where you help Bruce with the technology and projects he and you create

"What hell Bruce? Is that kid really your son?" Inhaling deep. You couldn't stop the shake of your hands

God, you were so nervous

You already knew the answer, but you need a explanation

Bruce just murmurs in response

"That's not even an answer, Bruce!" You state, tapping nervously your foots on the floor

"Do you have a son with another woman? I suppose you know who is his mother?" You wait for him to respond decently

You were standing by his side while he didn't even bother to glance you

"His mother is Thalia Alghul" Bruce shrugged it off, like that was nothing

Did he already know about the existence of this child?

"Bruce, look at me for a second! You cannot give a shit about this, but I do!" You shout, trembling

"Bruce! Did you already know about the existence of this kid?" Your voice wavers and the tears rush down your face

You felt betrayed

This time, Bruce slightly shivered and narrowed his eyes, analyzing you. Probably he was thinking you were out of control

Bruce was thinking of a response to calm you, but he couldn't find it, so he stayed in silence.

The silence was the worst answer he could give you. You know how right you were about your suspicious

"ANSWER ME, BRUCE! DID YOU EVEN PLAN TO TELL ME?" Pointing a finger at his chest, accusing him

Bruce gets defensive when you shout at him

"That's none of your business, (Y/N)" Bruce shouts back feeling attacked. Maybe it was, but he didn't think of that because he is too proud

"IT'S NOT MY BUSINESS, OKAY MR WAYNE, THEN IF THAT'S NOT MY BUSINESS, WE SHOULD NOT BE TOGETHER SINCE MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND HAS A CHILD WITH ANOTHER WOMAN AND NEVER PLANNED TO TELL ME ONE FUCKING THING ABOUT IT" You snap with anger. You shed tears like a crying baby

You felt terrible, weak, and disrespected.

The shouts echo through the cave

He was supposed to trust you, right?

There was a time you two were best friends and told each other everything, even the most silly thing in the world. You were a good duo, you were always partners

But the things changed

The love that was pacific became heavy and cold

What you and Bruce had become?

The sound of your cries attracted Tim's attention

"Hey mom! you're okay?" Tim asks gently, giving Bruce a disapproving look

"I.... just need to rest" You take a deep breath, accepting Tim help

You stare Bruce with watery eyes. You waited for him to say something

He stares at you with a blank expression

"Takes your mother to her room" That's the only thing Bruce says before turning back, walking to another part of the cavern

Bruce simply turned his back to you

It means nothing to him anymore. He didn't fight for you two

------------------------------------------------------------

The situation became more difficult because Damian disliked you

He thought his father should be with his mother, not someone like you. His words were sharp like a knife

To be honest, you thought the same thing. You aren't rich like Bruce, you two had different lifestyles. Two completely different world

In all of these years he never cared to propose to you. Did he ever think of having a future with you?

You started to question yourself after almost six years together

The day you finally decide to leave

You were sick, having nausea, dizziness and vomiting

Alfred realized that and advised you to go to the doctor

You took a few exams

In the same week, Damian got sick. He was in bed, shaking with fever. You were so worried about him

You checked up on Damian sometimes, even with his sharp comments about you or how he disliked you

He was just a kid who was created with a rigid education. He had a hard personality. You couldn't totally blame him

Alfred asked you to give Damian some soup for dinner. You agreed and went upstairs with the soup

"Hey Damian i brought some soup for you" You knock on his door before entering his room

"Tsc you can leave it here" He said with a tedious tone of voice

"Hmm do you need help to eat?" You ask, leaving the bowl on his expensive white nightstand

"No! Leave!" Damian says annoyed by your presence. Okay he didn't seem to be on a good day

Still, he doesn't have the strength to get out of the bed or eat alone

"But... Alfred helped you eat the meals, right? I could help you if you want" You tried one more time

"Don't you understand? I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP" Damian shouts aggressively, he tries to pick up the bowl but ends up toppling it

You look at him in shock

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you" You say in a low tone, holding back your tears

You leave Damian's room quickly and walk towards your room

You couldn't take it anymore. You are unhappy, sick and tired

You were in your room. The room you and Bruce shared together one day

You grabbed your bags and started to pick up your things

"What you're doing?" Bruce's voice surprised you. He was downstairs the last time you saw him

"I'm leaving, Bruce" You didn't hold back your tears. The tears rush freely in your face

Bruce felt his heartbeat skip when he heard what you said. You cannot be serious

"I don't understand..". Bruce comes closer to you, trying to understand why you were doing this

You stop to pick up your things to look at him

He is in shock, and even with his facade, you learn to see through it

"No! I know you don't, Bruce! You don't even realize whats happening around you" You snap angrily

"What? you cannot do that (Y/N)!" Bruce tries to change your mind, arguing with you, but you have already decide

"WHY NOT BRUCE? YOUR SON HATES ME! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT US ANYMORE" You are so close to him but yet so far away. Giving a pleading look for him, you shake your head in deny

"Damian is just a kid..." Bruce answered back facing you.

You could swear that you saw a few of emotion on his eyes

"FUCK IT! WHAT ABOUT US BRUCE? DIDN'T YOU EVEN REALIZE THAT I AM SICK THE WHOLE WEEK? DID YOU EVER PLAN TO PROPOSE TO ME ONE DAY?" You screamed with agony, feeling your throat dry

He could see how you were hurt and unhappy

Bruce avoid to look into yours eyes. Not a single word left his mouth

"Your silence answered everything. I hoped you would be honest with me considering all of these years, tsc you are really a dick" You curse, turning back to pick up the rest of your things

You grabbed your bags, and turned around, ready to leave.

You give Bruce a final look, pleading to him to do something, say something or fight for you

You hoped he would say something or ask you to stay, but he didn't

If he had asked you to stay, you would

So you leave

Your words echo through to his head

Bruce's heart stops when he sees that you are really leaving, but he can't move

Maybe that was better for you. Maybe it was better for you to live without him always disappointing you

Bruce stays in silence, watching you leave

------------------------------------------------------------

You were completely heartbroken after the break up. You moved to your old apartment

Everything looked so empty, it was so strange to live there all alone.

You miss the kids, the noise of the manor, Alfred astute comments, and more... You miss Bruce

You and your sister went to the hospital to get your exam results

You remember all too well

In the doctor's office, sitting in a chair, waiting for the doctor to say the results of your exam

"Well, miss (Y/N), the results are not satisfying, but i have good news you might like" Isla gave you a sympathetic look and read some documents

"So I prefer the good news first, doc" You tried to sound optimist

You looked like crap, and you knew it. The last week had been so lonely. Tim and Alfred passed by your apartment to check on you, but it wasn't the same thing

"You are pregnant, congratulations (Y/N)!" She gave you the news

Your face goes blank

"(Y/N)? You alright?" Isla asked with worry in her eyes

"Yes... I think, I was not hoping for that, Isla" You explained, trying to calm yourself

She wrote something on her computer

"Right, but you have anemia, and this isnt good for you and the baby. It might bring you problems if you don't start to treat it. So you will have an obstetrician consult and I will accompany you with the anemia treatment, okay?" Isla smiles, handing the results to you

"You might consider to consulting a psychologist too, you don't look so well, it will make you good. Take care of your mind health" Her voice was kind, and you knew how she was right. You were a complete mess

"I will prescribe you some medicine" Isla catches the pen on her table and starts to fill out some papers

------------------------------------------------------------

When you got the results of the exams you couldn't believe it. You are Pregnant

"So? Whats got you so sick?" Your sister gives you a concerned look, as she come closer to you

"I.. cant believe it" You hand her the papers, still in shock

"OH MY! I going to be an aunt!" She is excited about the news

"That's not so bad, you just have to treat yourself" She tries to cheer you up

"Oh no. Why are you crying?" She embraced you while you cried. You were so hurt. It was so much for you

...

You had been consulting the obstetriciann, and everything was okay with your baby. You discovered you preganant for 3 months

Your sister were sleeping in your place to help you with the pregnancy

Your sister went out to some cheap club with her friends

You wake up to drink some water. Your throat was dry

You heard some steps behind you, so you stay alert

"Who's here?" You turn around to see it was Batman

Bruce was standing right in front of you, after all of those weeks

You relaxed since you're not in danger

"You know you could enter from the door like a normal person" You comment, rolling your eyes

He observed the place and looked at you head to toe

His presence is annoying you. Still, you could tell that his presence made heart beat faster

"What do you want?" You ask, breathing deep

"What is that (Y/N)?" He took some papers off his utility belt and shook them in front of your face. It was your exams

"Are you stalking me? Who gives you the right to pry your nose into my life?" You took the papers out of his hands

"Its not of your business Mr Wayne!" Your harsh look makes him shrugs

He was with his cowl, his blank eyes were observing you through the mask

"Not my business? It's my child!" He stated, with a frown on his lips

"I'm not going to repeat myself again. What are you doing here?" Walking closer to him, you could feel his scent. It felt stronger, maybe it was because of the pregnancy. How you miss him

Is he here to upset you more? To hurt your feelings again? You wish he could forget about you and leave you alone for a moment, since you two are not together anymore. But he always found a way to upset you

"The child... You cant have it!" He states in a deep, low tone

You could not believe him. His words were like a sharp knife in your heart

"What makes you think you can choose it? How cowardly are you, Bruce? hm?" You aggressively question him, pointing a finger at his chest, and staring him with fury in the eyes

"You cant have it! It's my child too!" He argues back, taking off his cowl. His blue eyes lost their shine. He looks tired, with dark circles around his eyes, his face is slightly skinnier

"WHY? YOU'RE JUST AFRAID CAUSE YOU CANNOT BE A GOOD FATHER TO ANY OF YOUR CHILDREN!" You know how to hurt him. Maybe it was too cruel to say it, but that was the truth

Bruce steps back with the comment, feeling hurt. You didn't like to hurt him but, he needs some sense

"Are you hearing yourself? Whats that Bruce? Why you doing this with me? don't you think you have made enough? Leave please! I don't want to see you anymore!" Pleading with watery eyes

His eyes wide, and the realization pass through his blue, tired eyes

What had he turn?

Indeed, He was afraid of not being a good father, but demanding those things from you was not right. He had no right to say those things to you

He broke you into pieces, and left you when you needed him

"I... sorry" Bruce whispered before leaving through the window

------------------------------------------------------------

The birth of your baby changed everything.

You were so surprised to see Bruce there to watch his daughters birth. At first, you were hesitant, but inside, you relieved

Bruce was watching your daughter sleep in your arms

"Look, I'm sorry for what i did to you. You didn't deserve that. I wasn't there when you needed me. Everything that I did upset you in a delicate moment" Bruce apologizes to you

His face full of regret makes you know that Bruce was being honest. He wasn't a man who expressed himself easily

"I want to be a good dad for her, let me help you. I want to be present in her life if you let me" Bruce held a sorrowful look

You had to make amends with him for your daughter sakes

------------------------------------------------------------

The kids and Alfred visited you in the maternity hospital

You were surprised that Damian was there to see you too

Dick, Tim, Jason, Your sister and Alfred are somewhere in the hospital, probably eating in the cafeteria

Bruce was taking a shower while you were arrested in that hospital bed, and Damian was staring at you with a doubtful look

"Hey kiddo, a penny for your thoughts?" You try a joke in a hesitant tone

"Tsc...What would I do with a penny? Anyway I have enough of money already" He says cockily

"Now you sound exactly like your dad" You giggle, having fun with his similarity with Bruce

He stayed quiet, still looking at you. This time, he was looking at you like a lost puppy

"You can say whats on your mind, dear" You look at him with soft eyes

He stared at you in shock. No one has ever called dear or been so soft with him like that

"Hm, I've been planning on how to apologize to you. I'm sorry its my fault that you left my dad" He apologizes in a low tone and avoids eye contact with you

"Hey dear, its not your fault. I didn't leave because of you" You sign for him to come closer

He hesitantly came closer, sitting at the end of the bed

"Any of the problems that i had with your dad weren't because of you. You're just a kid, any of this is your fault, Damian" You squeeze his hands

Damians face turns red, and he smiles slightly at you

"Since you're gone, my dad is so grumpy. No one can stand him anymore" Damian complained about his dad being a pain in the ass like you and Jason would say

------------------------------------------------------------

You really tried to move on, but the man didn't like the idea of dating a single mom

You swore to yourself that you would forget Bruce, but every time you were on a date you remember him.

What if everything was different? You wish it was

But life goes on

You left your work and opened your own workshop. You had your own laboratory and atelier to work on your engineering projects or whatever you would create

You moved to a bigger and safer house to live with your daughter

It has been like this for years

Now your baby is almost turning 6 years. She is your entire world. The biggest present you could ever have

You two were passing the time in the living room before her bedtime. You were working when she asked you about you and Bruce

You just told her how you two met

"Isn't daddys birthday coming?" She climbs into your lap

"Yeah, baby, it will be in three weeks" You caress her hair

"Daddy always looks at you like you are a diamond, mommy" She said, closing her eyes, enjoying the caress

"Hmm, baby lets take you bed"

------------------------------------------------------------

Talking about diamond

Bruce Wayne left the jewelry shop with a diamond engage ring. The Gotham prince has finally decided to settle down?, the news is on the screens

Maybe its for Selina? Maybe they had come back together?

"Hey (Y/N) you still there?" Barrys voice brought your attention back to the call

"Yeah, sorry about that... and no, your new suit is not read yet" You state, shaking your head, trying to forget the toughts about Bruce

"Hmm okay, isn't Bruce's birthday coming? Barry asked worried

"Why everyone keep asking me that? Yes, Barry his birthday is in three weeks" You say, annoyed by the question, grabbing your mug, starting to organize everything that is on your table

"Sorry, hahaha, I just didn't buy anything for him yet" He was having fun with your annoyance

"You don't need to worry about it, he's not a material man. He will like anything you give to him, you know" You organized the things, and fetched your car keys in your purse

"Sorry Barry, but i got to pick up my baby from school!" You say it in a rush tone

"Right, bye (Y/N)! Tell Gennie that Uncle Barry sent her a big bear hug"

You couldn't help but laugh

"You bet Barry!" You hung up

------------------------------------------------------------

"Mommy, can we eat ice creamy as dessert??"

You stopped on the mall to eat lunch and shopping with her

"Sure baby, let me just take another photo of you, you're so cute in this uniform" She was just the most adorable thing you have ever seen in her school uniform

She was in kindergarten, and Gotham Academy was a very secure and good school. Evangeline was even learning spanish and french

You pass in front of a decor shop. Once you had been there with Bruce

"I still cant believe you're serious" Bruce stares at you incredulous

"Why not? If i moving to live with you, lets just pretend that we are moving together and shopping new decor to our room" Smiling excitedly to him

"Alright! But nothing too colorful!" He surrenders

"NO WAY! I NOT LETTING YOU WITH THAT DREADFUL ROOM!" You say it loudly, and put one yellow duvet in the cart shop

Yellow was definitely your favorite color

"You need some color in your life, honey" You hold another duvet, but this time a yellow neon with purple leopard print

Bruce couldn't help but frown at that

You graciously laugh, catching his attention

"Whats so funny?" He asked crossing his arms with a grimace on his face

"You look so cute doing this face. Did you know you pout?" You pecked his lips

Bruce facades are gone with that. He holds you with his strong arms

"What? I do not pout!" You felt his breath in the back of your neck, he was laughing

"Mommy!!" Your baby girl shakes you, and you realize that you were standing there for a while

"Oh baby, i'm so sorry" You felt a little stupid to still think about Bruce even after all of this time

"I want ice creamy, and suddenly you stop in front of the decor shop. They don't sell ice creamy" She was pouting exactly like her father

"Tsc, You look exactly like your dad. I cant believe it." You say annoyed, shaking your head in deny

"What? My dad?" She had a curious look

"Lets get you your ice cream, baby!" You ignored and, she seemed to forget that you talked about her dad

------------------------------------------------------------

"Thank you!" You told the waiter

"Is it of your liking mini chef?" You ask, taking a sip of your milkshake

"Its yummy, mommy! but I think that if they put a handmade ice creamy, it would be more good"

"Why do you say that mini chef?" You lick your lips

"The industry ice creamy has so much sugar. Nothing its like Alfred's handmade ice creamy" She said, enjoying her ice creamy

"Well, with all the odds, you almost over with your milk shake" You state humored, laughing at her dirty milkshake cheeks

"Its still very yummy..." Shes was interrupted with screams

"What the fuck?" All you could do was protect your daughter from the danger

Some masquerade guys entered the place. They were high armed, and started shooting at everyone

------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh my! How terrified that girl must be. I know them. Her mother, she does some projects for me and the police force. You know, she is the mother of one of Bruce Waynes children, she created the other kids as well. I cant stop thinking that is one of the main reasons that the thieves got her and the kid" Gordon was the talking to someone on his cell phone when Batman showed up on the terrace of the building

What a terrible day. Bruce couldn't believe this was happening to him.

You and his baby were kidnapped, and he didn't find anything. He spent the whole day in front of the batcomputer searching for any trace of you.

All Bruce could feel was fury and fear. Fear to lose you two. Fear that he will never see you again. Fear that he could never say how sorry he is about messing up and how he was a dick with you. FEAR THAT HE COULD NEVER SAY AGAIN HOW HE STILL LOVE YOU

Bruce wishes he was a better man for you, he wishes things were different from the now on circumstances

Maybe its late for that. Maybe its too late to apologize

Bruce wished he never messed up with you. Maybe he wouldn't feel the regret filling his soul every moment since you gone

He wished you stayed, but it was so much for him to ask that of you

Maybe he was too proud. Maybe he already hoped that one moment you would leave him like everyone else did?

All he could do was watch you leave. It was for the best

At least you would not suffer anymore, and it would be safer for you. But God, that was the worst pain he felt in his life

What if he fought for you and him? He would give everything to come back in time. What if he asked you to stay? would you?

"Hey Batman, I assume that you already know the news?" Gordon hung up, looking at the man in the black suit. Batman seemed lost?

"Anyway, we need your help that Vick Vale don't stop calling looking for a scoop" He rolled his eyes, annoyed by the memory of the journalist

"The situation is that armed man entered in a fucking ice cream shop in the Gotham Mall and started shooting at innocent people and left with a single mother and a kid. We believe its a kidnap, and they are keeping they as hostage but they didn't call to her family asking for money though. In the worst case they might be... you know" He whispered the last part

"I wont let this happen! Not in my city!" Batman growls, making Gordon widen his eyes. He never saw Batman like this

"Any death?" Batman asked, holding his hands in fists, trying to calm himself

Gordon realized that Batmans body language indicated anger or better fury

"No, only injured people. Just five" Gordon said nervously

"Well, we talked to the people that were in the shop at that moment. They told us that they took the girl and the woman. The mother tried to fight, but there were many goons. One of them came behind her and hit her head to get her unconscious" Gordon told the statement of the people of the store

"Batman, I found one of them" Nightwing voice echos through the bug

"I'm on my way" Batman ansewered, and looks at Gordon giving him a nod, disappearing in the darkness of the night

------------------------------------------------------------

"I will only ask one time, Where are they?" He said it with threanteing tone

That mans face would be unrecognizable after that night

"I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T WORK FOR THEM. THEY JUST CAUGHT SOME OF US AND PAID TO DO THAT" He screamed, fearing for his life

A hard punch

"OUCHH! I SAID I DON'T KNOW NOTHING"

Batman punched that man until he spoke. Poor man

"Man, if you want some advice, you might start talking" Nightwing said from behind, watching the interrogatory batman style

"STOP! I WILL TELL YOU, OKAY? JUST STOP!" He screamed scared

Batman stopped waiting for him to say something useful

"THE GUYS SAID SOMETHING ABOUT JOKERS WANTED TO TAKE THEM AWAY FROM CITY, COUNTRYSIDE, OR OTHER CITY. SO THE BATMAN COULDN'T FIND THEM SO FAST. AS I KNOW HE HAS BEEN PLANNING THAT SINCE HE RAN AWAY FROM ARKHAM ASYLUM"

"WHERE IS HE?" Batman growls aggressive

"I DON'T KNOW"

"WHERE IS HE?" Batman punched him harder

"I SWEAR TO YOU I DON'T KNOW WHERE.... OHH STOP"

Batman felt the fury through his veins

"Batman stop! you gonna kill him!" Nightwing said, pushing him away from the beaten man

Batman stop and looks at his bloody gloves and the mans face.

"Hes still alive, call the cops"

------------------------------------------------------------

The mood at the manor was not one of the best. Everyone was worried about you and your daughter. The Batman was trying to find you, and all they had were the goon words

Its been a week since you two had been kidnap

Bruce was on batcomputer all night searching for some trace of you

"Bruce, you should have some rest. We can handle it" Dick said in a worried tone

"I'm okay, Dick" Bruce told him without a glance

Dick was about to say something, but the phone started to ring

Bruce got up quickly, picking up the call

"Hmmm, helloooo Brucieee!" The Joker voice

"Can you guess who it is ? hahahahah" He laugh maniacly

"Joker" Bruce murmured deeply, and sign to Dick start to track the call

"You right, Brucie, its me!"

Bruce wanted to yell at him for taking you and his daughter away from him, but he knew it was not appropriate

If he wanted to find you, he would have to stay on the line long enough to track where the call was coming

"Well, I have something that might be of your interest" He said humming

"What do you want, to give them back?" Bruce asked in an angry tone. He would do everything in his power to get you two back

"Just some money, you know the bank don't liberate loan for prisoners hum, hum what a prejudice, right?" He said it with irony

"How much? How much do you want?" Bruce asked, sinking his nails in his palm hand nervously

"If they are really important to you. You would not care if I asked you for 30 million dollars. I know you are a generous man" Joker said humored

"Right, you will have it. Let me talk to them, i need some proof that they are alive" Bruce required with authority

"Talk to your daddy, girl" Joker demanded

"Daddy? Is that you? I miss you. Uncle joker told me that you would come here soon, but its been a week" Evangeline's voice had an upset tone

Bruce felt relief for hearing the voice of his baby

"Yes baby, its daddy. Im coming for you soon. You just need to wait a little more" He told her in a soft tone, trying to comfort her

"Where is mommy? I miss her too" She asked in a crying voice

Bruce heart skipped a beat when he heard it. Were you not with her?

"That's enough. You heard your kid. She's very, very alive" He laughed at his own words

"What about my woman?" Bruce asked in a harsh tone

"Your woman? Well, Brucie, shes not one of your properties, we gentlemen don't talk about woman like this" The Joker scolded his words, not liking his tone

"And last time I checked, she was completely single. So no, shes not your woman, Brucie" Joker stated excitedly

"I must admit Brucie, you had a beautiful woman, her beauty really amazed me. If I had the chance, I would get her pregnant too. But what a shame, Brucie. How could you let go of a woman like that?" Joker let out a snort of disapproval

That fucker. Hearing Jokers words about you only made him angrier

"Fuck you, I want to talk with MY WOMAN" Bruce growled aggressively

"Bruce? Is it really you? Please tell me our daughter is safe...." The sound of your voice is one of fear, and then they shut you out

Dick gave him a thumbs up. He tracked where the call was coming

"We had enough idle talk. Send the bat with the money in 24 hours. Be in Gotham docks. I will be waiting for you. Don't be late Brucieee" The Joker hung up

"MOTHER FUCKER" Bruce yelled at the phone, throwing it on the floor

He would not let Joker kill someone he loved. Not again

"Master Bruce, don't let the emotions overwhelm your reason. Focus yourself in the search, the time is passing" Alfred adviced him

Alfred was right. He don't have much time. He has to find you

"Indeed, the call was coming from the docks" Dick said, marking the place on the map on the big screen that was showing some information about the investigation

"They have (Y/N) in another place. Shes is not with Evangeline. We have to find her quickly" Bruce told him in a serious tone

"Really Bruce? Did you realize that we spent the whole week searching for them and got nothing until Joker called? He planned everything so you couldn't find mom in time" Dick snapped with a frown

"We know they are far away from the city, It seems they are in the woods" Bruce told him with a narrow gaze

"What we gonna do?" Dick asked worried about you and his baby sister

One thought passed through Bruces mind

"Call Jason" Bruce demand

"Jason? Why do you think he will find it before us?" Dick has a big doubt in his face

"Tell him to look in the woods close to Gotham and Bludhaven. Even the borders" Bruce ignores his question

------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm not helping you. Im helping mom, old man" Jason stated through the bug

"Copy Jason. Just find your mom, please" Bruce pleaded him

"Don't worry, old man. I will bring her back to you. Just don't mess up again or I kill you" Jason told him before Tim shouted at him

"Jason, come take a look" Tim had found your purse. Your wallet was empty, and your mini mirror was broken

It means that they were on the right trail. They were close to Bludhaven Cemetery

------------------------------------------------------------

Batman, Robin and Nightwing were observing the place.

Joker goons were everywhere, and Joker was playing with his daughter

"Hmm kiddo, The time is passing, and your daddy still didn't show up to pick you up. Maybe he forgot about you" Joker pretended to be sad

"My daddy would never forget about me Uncle Joker. He's just late." Evangeline defends her father, pouting upset with his comment

Batman looks at Robin and Nightwing, signing to them to follow the plan

They knocked up the goons from the shadows

"Joker, Batman is here!" One of the goons told him

"I know, its part of the game. Hahahaha Hey, Evangeline, lets play hide and seek? " Joker asked and the girl agrees excitedly

"So, we both have to hide from the bat, and we win if he doesn't find us" Joker explains to the little girl

"And what if he find us?" She tilts her head, pouting in doubt

"We will make him a surprise" Joker told her excitedly, and grabbed the girl running from the shed

Nightwing and Robin were fighting with the goons

While Batman fight with other goons

"Go catch him, Batman. We can handle them" Nightwing shouts out

Batman runs in the same direction the Joker ran

"We found mom, B. They keep her trapped in Bludhaven Cemetery. They have just a few goons, but they are all high armed" Tim reported

"Don't die" Batman warns them in a harsh tone

"I'm the only one who got the permission to do that, old man" Jason jokes with irony

"This is not funny, Jason" Dick scolded him

"Actually it was" Damian chuckles, evilly

Batman silenced the bug

Batman was surrounded by sheds

Hearing the sounds of one of the sheds, he walked quietly towards it

An image projector was in the middle of the room

A video started to play

"Hey lady, How about you say goodbye to your family?" One tattooed man told you, holding your face

"Fuck you!" You spat at his face, trying to gel off his hold

"You bitch! I will teach you how to behave" He punched you hard in stomach

The record has a cut

You shows up beaten and all bloody on the screen

"Bruce, please save our daughter. Do not come after me. Take care of the kids and go easy on them. Do it for me... do it for us. Please be safe. I love you" You said goodbye for him

"No!" He cant stand the pain in his heart seeing you hurt like that

Batman got caught in a trap

a fishnet made of barbed wire trap him

"It seems like the bat is not that smart" Jokers voice echos through the loudspekears

"Lets take a look at your woman"

Your unconscious form appears on the screen. You were tied in a chair by ropes

"Hey batman! Are you seeing this beautiful woman here? She will explode in minutes, I hope you enjoy watching it" The tattooed goon said with a big grin on his face

A thud echoes in the background. Some gunshots

"What do you want Joker? Free her!" Batman growled at the clown

"What do I want, Bat? I want to play with you! You know, Ive been feeling lonely since you trapped me in Arkham Asylum again. I think it would be cool to gain some money and play a little with you! Isn't it funny?"

You were in the chapel of the Bludhaven Cemetery

"Shit! Red Hood and Red Robin are here, boss!" The tattooed goon shouts out to the camera

More shoots, and the door is cracked on the floor.

"What a terrific news!! It seems that the birds have come to join Mommy in her explosion!" Jokers laughed excitedly

The vigilantes appear on the screens, running towards you, unaware of the bomb or the camera

"Fuck! what they did to you, mom?" Jason whispered, cutting the ropes in your fists and ankles

"You know how Jason is my favorite Robin, don't you Bat?? He is going to die again because of you! Just because you sent him to search her! And poor Timmy! Hes just a teen that will blow up with his mother and brother HAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAH"

Jason held you tightly in his lap

"Everything will be okay mom"

Tim walked around the place they kept you arrested, and observed the chapel

"Jason are you hearing that?" Tim asked, looking in the direction of the beeps

"Until they found that I put a bomb there. Everything will blow up. BOOM!!!!" The joker laghed mischievous

"RUN" Jason shouts out

The bomb exploded

"NOOOOOO" Batman screamed

"AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"

"The joke is on you BAT!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH"

"TICK TACK TICK TACK. Time is passing, you don't want to lose Evangeline too, right? Tick tack tick tack"

Batman heard sound of steps in the shed

"OH forget Bat! You did find us or we found you, whatever. HAHAHAHAHA" Joker entered in shed with a gun against Evangelines forehead

"Did you know how upset I was with you when I discovered about your girls? You didn't even bother to introduce them to me" Joker pretend to be hurt

Evangeline cries, hurting Bruce in his soul. All he wanted to do was protect her, but he couldn't

"Please let her go! I will give you whatever you want!" Batman pleaded in defeat

"HMM, What a interesting offer but I will pass Bat" He denies, smiling creepy

"I just want you to watch my grand finale" Joker would shoot in Evangeline head

Joker was about to pull the trigger when a blade was thrown into his hands making him drop the gun, and a stick hit hard in his spine

Joker screamed louder, falling on the floor

Robin walks close to the clown and holds him by his purple blouse collar

"Don't mess with my ummi, my sister or my family ever again, or I will kill you with my own hands" Robin kicked hard his spine

"HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAH YOU'RE SO CUTE ROBIN HAHAAHAHAH" Joker laughed hard and louder with every beat

Robin was infuriated. Didn't he get hurt?

"That's enough Robin!" Batmans voice scolds him

Robin looked around, seeing Nightwing comforting his baby sister while Batman stood in the corner with crossed arms, watching Robin beat the Joker

With a final strike, Robin knocks the Joker out

------------------------------------------------------------

"When will mommy wake up?"

You open your eyes but shut them in pain. It felt like a truck had run over you

You moan in pain, trying to feel comfortable where you laid

You open your eyes slowly, trying to adjust with to the light

"Hey, she's waking up!" Jason warned everyone

Everyone shut up and come closer, looking at your dizzy form

"MOMMY!" Evangeline runs to you, hugging you tightly and you breathe deeply in pain

You felt relief to see everyone safe. You hold your daughter in your arms, making a grimace for your sons

"Go easy with her, Ginnie, shes bruised" Dick told her, chuckling at your grimace

The kids were all around you

Your daughter let go of you, leaving space for the other kids to talk with you

"I got really worried about you. I'm happy that you're awake mom" Dick smiles at you warmly, hugging you gently

You opened your mouth to answer, but your throat was dry. You only cough in answer.

Then Tim offers you a glass of water. You drank it

"Thank you Timmy. I was really thristy"

"Its good to see you mom" Tim hugs you quickly

"You scared me as hell, i love you mom" Jason whispered just for you to hear, and hugged you like you were going to disappear any moment

He hold you for a long time until Damian pushed him aside

"I missed you Ummi" Damian squeezed your hand lightly, and you pulled him into your arms

"Its good to see my boys and my girl safe" You smiled caring at them

Alfred walked up to where the kids were

"Its good to see you Miss (Y/N)" Alfred greets you, smiling fondly

You look around, seeing watchful eyes over you. Was he there all the time?

"How you're feeling?" Alfred asked you, checking the serum that was in your veins

"It sucks, it seems that I was hit by an car" You joke humored

Alfred nodded in knowledge

"My whole body is aching, I have a headache, and I'm very hungry" Your stomach is snoring

"I suspected that you were going to say that. I going to bring you something to eat" Alfred heads out of the cave with the kids following behind him

"It seems the anesthesia effects were gone." Bruce deep voice caught your attention

"Anesthesia?" Confused, you question him

Everyone had gone, giving you two some privacy

"You were shot. You lost a mount of blood. When the boys found you, you were unconscious. We had to take the bullet out. You almost had a hemorrhage" He explained

"How long I have been out?" You ask, staring down at your body

You were dressing just in a black top and a yellow Batman loose short

You had some bruises, and some parts of your skin were purple. Your ribs were bandaged. You had stitches on your right arm

Bruce was looking for something in the nursery cabinets

"One week and three days" He states, turning around, looking in the other cabinets

"Oh, your birthday is in two days" You murmur, staring at his back

You could see how his back tensed when you said it. He got quiet for a while, and focus himself on what he was doing

"Yes, Alfred is planning the gala for the weekend. I don't have time to do that" He scratched his throat, walking towards you

"Here take it" He hands you some analgesics and a glass of water

He sits beside you on the bed. You could tell that he was lacking sleep and his beard was to do. He had some scratches on his face

"You lack sleep, when was the last time you slept?" You ask worried about his well being

You raise your hands, fingering his scratches

"You don't need to worry about me, the only one who needs care is you" He says softly, holding your hand in his

------------------------------------------------------------

You stared at the mirror for a long time. The gala for Bruce's birthday was happening down in the salon

You were wearing a beautiful yellow gown that Bruce had gifted you on your last birthday. You never had the chance to use

You felt uncomfortable with your stitches showing up. Your body was bruised. You couldn't help but feel ugly, even all dressed up

So you decide to stay in the room where you were staying for the week

For a few minutes in the room, you got restless and walked to the library

You loved the manor library. It was a cozy place where you always loved to stay. The big window had a beautiful view of the gardens. You remember staying here with Bruce when you wanted some time alone. You loved the yellow candlelight and the beautiful decoration, it was so classic.

You sit next to the window, looking out at the garden, where some guests were chatting

"I imagined that you'd be here" Bruce entered the library without making a sound

"I don't get scared anymore. I'm used to it" You roll your eyes, annoyed that he doesn't make any walking sounds to enter the places, you raise your eyebrows at him in doubt

Bruce was wearing a beautiful tailored tux. His beautiful blue eyes contrast with the black tux but match his navy tie

"You didn't show up. I come to check up on you" He states, looking at the view of the big window

"I'm sorry for not being there. I don't feel good enough to be around people" You felt guilty for not showing up

"Are you feeling unwell? Do you need anything? What are you feeling? Bruce asks in a hurry, getting closer to you

You stand up, raising a hand for him to calm him

Then Bruce stops, looking at you head to toe, amazed by the view of your beauty. His jaw fell open, and he whispered something you could not hear and licked his lips, straightening his posture

"Wow, you're marvelous tonight" He notes the yellow dress he gave you

"Hm thanks" You doubt he was being truthful. You didn't feel marvelous

You stared at your hands.

"What? You don't believe me?" Bruce asks in shock, realizing your deny his compliment

"Yeah, how could you think that I'm marvelous tonight if I look like this?" You point to your bruised body, looking at your stitches in the right arm

"I don't see nothing but the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in front of me" Bruce states firmly, looking into your eyes

"How?" You whisper, denying

"I can show you if you don't believe me" Bruce steps forward

Bruce gently holds you by the waist and run his fingers through the bruises, kissing them softly. His touch makes you shiver

He looked right into your eyes, asking for permission to kiss you

You lean closer, kissing lightly his lips, closing your eyes and enjoying the moment

The kiss was passionate. How you miss his lips. How you miss the good years. How you miss him

He holds you tightly in his arms

You slowly separate and breathe deep. Widening your eyes in realization. What have you done?

You step back brutally

"Damn it! What we did? We shouldn't do this" You said rude, cursing yourself for letting that happen

You were walking in circles in anxiety

"What? If you regret about it..." You cut him off quickly with a sharp look

"How can you do this? You are engaged and then kiss me, messing with my feelings" The hurt in your voice makes him want to hold you in his arms

"Easy (Y/N). I'm not engaged with any woman" He claimed with a firm tone

"Wait? You're not engaged? But the news said you bought a engagement diamond ring, you didn't propose to Selina?" You tilt your head, doubting if he said the truth

You groaned in pain. You have put too much effort into walking around, the pain fills your ribs and you breathe deep

"Be careful. You cannot make an effort or the stitches in your ribs will open" He warned you, coming closer, guiding you to sit on the leather couch

You stay quiet, staring at the window. The silence was uncomfortable but you didn't want to say anything to him

He was the one who needed to say something

"Hmm... look. I did buy an engagement diamond ring but it is not for Selina. I bought it for someone I cherish and love dearly" He states gently, holding your hands, making you stop to stare at the window

You blink slowly and stay quiet, waiting for him to continue

"I know that I was a dick to you. How I mess the things up with you.... When you left, I felt the regret consume me every day for not fighting for us. I wanted to ask you to stay, but I couldn't. I couldn't be so selfish, I knew you would be happier and safer without me. You would be better off without me. Although I realized that I was nothing without you, just a poor and miserable man" He said in a deep, low tone. It was something so intimate for him to share about his feelings

You look into his eyes, seeing his regretful gaze. His husky deep voice hold honesty over his words

"I was so scared of losing you and not having the chance to apologize for my mistakes. I miss the good years, of our partnership, you were my best friend. I was afraid I could not tell you everything that I wanted. All I wanted to do was hold you in my arms and protect you"

You stay quiet, not finding the words to say something

"I know how I hurt you, and I understand if you don't accept it. But I feel like i had to do it before its too late for us. I still love you (Y/N)" Bruce eyes had a brightness that you had never seen before

Bruce got on his knees in front of you, taking a little velvet red box out of his tux pocket

You were taken back by his confession. Your heart races with his words

"(Y/N) Will you marry me?" The red velvet box had a beautiful diamond ring

You stare at him in shock, speechless. He was proposing to you. You couldn't believe that.

He stares at you, uncertain of your answer, but the big crooked smile you gave him makes him feel more confident

"Oh my! Yes!, I do marry you Bruce" He felt relief with that

Placing the ring on your finger, Bruce kisses your hand tenderly

"I was afraid you would say no" He admitted, getting up and pulling you up gently

"The thought didn't pass my mind, but now i considering it" You pretend to think about

Bruce face went blank with your joke, but then he relaxed seeing you laughing of him

"Don't joke about that. I want to get old with you" He fake a scolds making a frown

"Well you already are old so don't worry" You snap with a teasing grin on your face

"Wow, that hurted my feelings" He put his hand on his heart, faking a heart pain and pouting

You peck his pouting lips and hold your arms around his neck while he holds you by the waist

"I love you too, Bruce" You confess, burying your face in his neck

"I swear to be better for you" You feel his hands tracing circles on your back

"You just need to fight for us when the things get rough. Don't let me go ever again, and stay with me" You embrace him tightly

"I promise" He whisper

"I'll kick you in the ass if you don't keep your promise" He laughed, caressing your hair locks

------------------------------------------------------------

"DAMN Damian! You let Joker stuck in a wheelchair forever" You curse under your breath

Damian was ready for the scold but you only smiled at him, messing his hair

"Well done Dami, I'm so proud of you" You whispered so only he could hear and winked at him

"Dick gave me a little help hitting the stick on his spine" He smiled slightly, feeling proud about his achievement. Now that maniac would not be able to hurt anyone

------------------------------------------------------------

[kiwisluv]

jude bellingham blurb - barca vs psg

reader x bf!jude

set during the barca vs psg leg 2 champions league match

1.4k words - i guess not really a blurb at this point😭 also not proofread soz xx

You and your best friend were sat in the tv lounge at your uni, watching the Barcelona vs PSG game since you had downtime between classes. A little bit into the first half, a group of three boys had come by to ask if they could watch the game with you two, and you obliged, figuring it wouldn't do any harm.

By the time the second half started, you and your friend were regretting your mistake. The three boys were yapping about the game the entire time, which wouldn't have been terrible if it wasn't so obvious that they were trying to flex their "superior" knowledge about footy. The two of you just kept to yourself, making a quiet comment to each other about the game here and there, but you couldn't help but make eye contact every time one of the men confidently remarked about the game, only to be making an incorrect statement. It was almost laughable the amount of times they had messed up; when their fourth friend came at halftime, one of the men loudly went, "Bro, PSG just got a red card then scored on the penalty kick." You couldn't even wrap your head around how the boy could've mistaken what he was watching THAT badly. At one point, you could barely hold back your giggles as your best friend tweeted, "Barcelona fans are the type of people to stare straight into the sun during the solar eclipse."

You had also been texting Jude throughout the game, knowing he couldn't talk right now because the team was prepping for tomorrow, but still sending him your commentary like you always did for him to read later. This included texts like "RED CARDDDDD THIS IS PEAK COMEDY FROM BARCA" and "XAVI GETTING SENT OFF I'M DYINGGGGG!!!!!!" It's safe to say that you were happy to see the downfall of Jude's rival club. At one point early in the second half, you saw the photos of Jude from his press conference and showed your friend excitedly, raving about how fit he was, and laughing at one of the videos of him trying to understand a Spanish interviewer. When they boys caught notice of this, they side eyed each other, assuming that you were just some girls who didn't even care about football and just watched for the fit guys. This got them chatting even louder, reallyyy trying to show off their ball knowledge now. Because of your mention of Jude, they started talking about tomorrow's games and proceeded to rant about how City was gonna blow out Madrid. This struck a nerve in you but you decided to bite your tongue and just focus on the game and your friend instead of biting at their bait.

After Mbappe's second goal, you were absolutely raving, texting Jude something along the lines of "KYKYYYYYYYY." You cheered with your friend as the boys sulked further into their chairs, obviously unhappy with the scoreline. "I love my man, but Kyks..." you joked to your friend as you watched PSG celebrating all over the screen. "Can't wait for you to come to Madrid baby," you joking said to the TV screen, your friend giggling at your ridiculousness. This fit was interrupted, though, as your phone started buzzing and Jude's contact picture (a quite unflattering photo of him sleeping) filled your phone. Your heart instinctually swelled at the thought of speaking to your boyfriend, and you quickly answered the call. "Please tell me you just saw that goal," you said as soon as Jude's face filled the screen. It looked as if he was done with training and sitting in the team's makeshift common area. You could hear some of his teammates messing around in the background and even saw Cama passing by in the background.

"Well hello to you too," Jude said jokingly. You rolled your eyes at his sassiness, choosing to ignore this comment and ask if he was watching the game.

Unbeknownst to you, the four boys sat in the room with you were absolutely flabbergasted. They were looking at each other with the widest eyes, unable to believe what they were hearing. Your friend saw this, biting back her smirk at their reaction. "Hiya Jude," she greeted, peaking her head into the frame to say hi to your boyfriend, who she was also quite close with.

"Hi!" he smiled back with a wave to the camera. "And yes, I'm watching the game. We just got done with training."

"We watched some of your press conference earlier. It was alright," you joked to the man. This time it was his turn to roll his eyes. "Kidding, of course. You looked sexy," you said with an overdramatic wink. You couldn't hold back your laughter at the silly remark. "But for real, your answers were perfect. You actually sounded very competent and not nearly as cocky as you actually are."

"Wow. Thanks for that," he said in fake annoyance.

"I've already got screenshots of it in my camera roll."

"You're a creep," he deadpanned. "I can't believe my girlfriend is a groupie."

This had you gasping, holding your hand to your heart as you feigned offence. "Alright, goodbye now Jude." You pretended to go to hang up the phone but were cut off by Jude going "No no no no!"

After that little fit, he asked you about how your day was, how your assignments were going, etc. He even asked your friend about how her date was last night, surprising you that he even remembered about that. She took the phone from you to debrief your boyfriend about her night, telling him the story of the crazy guy she'd had dinner with. As the two chatted away, you watched the last few minutes of the game, feeling warm inside at how happy you were with Jude and how happy you were that he got along with your friends so well.

However, your thoughts were interrupted by the four boys, who had stood up and walked over to you. You looked at them puzzled, having a hunch about what they wanted. "Hey, um, we were just wondering..." one of the boys started, obviously nervous about whatever he was going to say. At this point, you knew what they wanted, and you couldn't believe the nerve they had after slagging off Madrid mere minutes ago.

"If you could say hi to Jude?" you finished the question for him. They sheepishly nodded, one of the others adding, "We're big fans."

You held back your eye roll at that last statement, taking the phone from your friend and turning it so that the boys could see Jude and vice versa. "Jude, these are the guys that were just chatting all about how City's gonna win tomorrow." You couldn't see your boyfriend's face, but you imagined him raising his eyebrows at this statement. You and your friend laughed at how caught off guard the boys were by your statement. They looked panicked, all four of them standing with their mouths hung open but not saying anything.

"Oof," Jude shook his head on the screen. "Don't say that around y/n. She'll have your necks for talking down on Madrid."

At this, the frontmost of the boys scratched his neck and laughed nervously. "Um, we didn't mean it like that...we were just, um, talking about the odds and stuff..." he tried to scrap up a pathetic excuse.

"What team do you lads support?" Jude asked.

The four looked at each other as if they were unsure of whether to tell the truth or not. "Barca..." one ended up saying quietly. His friend widened his eyes at this, quickly adding on, "But we think you're class! You've been mental to watch this season."

"Thanks, mate. I'll have to tell the Barca lads even their fans are supporting Madrid this season! No wonder with the state of this game." At this, you brought your phone back to face you, giving the boys a look as to say, Okay, you can go now. You almost felt a little bad for embarrassing them but then remembered how annoying they were during the game and didn't regret a thing. "You're brutal," Jude said, shaking his head at your antics.

"They were annoying," you replied with a shrug. "I think I have to go to class now. I'll call you before our train to Manchester leaves tonight."

He smiled widely at this, ecstatic that he would get to see you after his game tomorrow. "Okay. I can't wait to see you. You too (y/bsf/n)!"

"Yeah, yeah. Me too. I love you, bye!"

"Love you, too." he smiled brightly before hanging up the phone.

-

[merakiui]

hello i would like to ask your thoughts on playful land's writing 👀👀👀

mostly cause i rarely think when i read (brain off kind of activity for me) but i do think it interesting to hear people critique writing or plots

Hi hiii!! >w< thank you for your interest in my thoughts!! I'd like to preface this by saying that I adore Playful Land. The aesthetics, Fellow and Gidel, the horror potential, etc!! Now having finished the event, I am left with thoughts!!! It's difficult to put everything into an orderly list because my brain is very scrambled egg, so I'll just ramble. Please forgive me. ( ‘ ﹋ ‘ ; )

Most of Playful Land's potential plot holes or ooc moments are patched up once you factor in Fellow's magic (specifically his UM). It gives it a crutch to lean on if and when you begin to think too deeply about the characters in the plot. Like, for example, why Leona or Vil or any character known for being more level-headed and reasonable and not nearly as easy to sway are so quick to change their tune.

Questions like that one are then answered with "it was probably Fellow's magic" or "Fellow's flattery works wonders because NRC students love being praised." But even for someone like Jack, who is clever enough to recognize a scam, who was very suspicious during book three's events and even more so after coming face to face with Azul..... perhaps the stakes would have been even higher if the cast was just comprised of the characters who fall prey to those schemes more easily instead of the logical types (Leona, Vil, Jack, Trey, etc).

Just,,,, they literally go to school with smarmy, smooth-talker scammer Azul Ashengrotto who speaks in too-good-to-be-true terms much like what Fellow does. How did they not put more thought into how suspicious it is that this strange man shows up, offers tickets to an amusement park FOR FREE, and then continues to lick their boots with compliments even while they're there at the park...... T_T

But the magic of an amusement park is that you sort of lose track of time when you're there and you get so wrapped up in everything, so perhaps that's also at play here (and the excitement and wonder of it all considering the park is so elusive). The fun and whimsy blind you to everything else, and with Fellow's magic supposedly at play..... it's a recipe for the perfect veil over logical thought. Maybe if not for Fellow's magic nudging certain characters into forgetting their worries and just having fun the entire event wouldn't have unfolded in the way it does.

But back to the plot!!! It's really good and horrifying as the students are captured and turned into puppets. Deliciously so. Fellow is very set in his goals and with those moments MC shares with Gidel (like talking to him about school in a way that makes him falter, so much so Fellow has to step in to dissuade the mere idea of school) it almost seems like it's setting up a betrayal on Gidel's end (I was genuinely hoping for something like this,,, I will not lie LOL). I think that would have been fascinating to see. A cruel kick in the stomach to Fellow and what he stands for if Gidel somehow helped the NRC students or got in the way of Fellow's plans.

I do think it's interesting commentary on the privilege and magic of this world. How these institutions favor those with money or powerful magic (or both). How you're set for life if you have either. If not for Fellow having second thoughts about why he's even doing this in the first place and him having realized he's sick of answering to his rich boss, the NRC students wouldn't have been freed. And even if Fellow did succeed in trafficking them, not only is it a scandal for NRC (one Crowley absolutely cannot afford) if a group of students go missing, everyone is going to notice international celebrity Vil Schoenheit is unaccounted for or that the Kalim Al-Asim is gone or even Prince Leona Kingscholar. ;;;;;

Also,,, the way the event wraps up. How there really isn't much punishment or legal consequence dealt to Fellow and Gidel. They sort of just,,, get to escape it by hopping back onto the destroyed park-boat. They still committed crimes and have done so multiple times in the past. They are (most likely wanted) criminals. Are none of the NRC students going to report them? Why didn't they just grab the two of them and hold them there? How are Fellow and Gidel going to survive out at sea with a ship that is hardly staying afloat!!! It leaves you with more questions. Also also,,, I'm assuming the other park-goers were returned safely to land as well??? Where were they during the final showdown with Fellow and afterwards when everyone is released from the puppet magic and the park is destroyed?? They sort of fade into obscurity and aren't mentioned again.

I think if I was kidnapped, turned into a puppet, and nearly sold off (and also taunted endlessly by a certain fox) I would have quite the mean grudge against him. orz why do the NRC students just let the two of them get away...... >_< at the very least, the way they handled the clean-up with Rollo was smooth-ish because he's given the choice to live as a liar and a bad person or come clean about everything. But even then I have thoughts on that and that's an entirely different event.....

I am very fond of the concept, though!!! A traveling amusement park (that's actually a front for the evil that goes on behind the curtains) on a boat is so cool. And the idea that no one really knows what happens to you afterwards because all they ever see online are pictures of you having fun, oblivious to the scheme beneath the glitz and glamour. It's so very terrifying. But once you begin to apply logic to various areas of the plot and the characters it starts to unravel.

Or,,, at least,, those are the humble thoughts in my brain. Please take them with a grain of salt. OTL maybe they're mostly nonsense and I might have missed some critiques I wanted to write,,, regardless, I am still a big fan of Playful Land and Fellow could do despicable things to me. ^3^

[srbachchan]

DAY 5958

Jalsa, Mumbai June 10/11, 2024 Mon/Tue 12:53 AM

June 10, 2024 Wedding greetings - Ef Rajesh Shrivastava .. विवाह के इस पावन अवसर पे हम सब की शुभकामनाएँ 🙏🚩

🌺

Yes indeed the Battle begins now ..

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐖 💥

Presenting #Kalki2898ADTrailer to you all!

Birthday - EF - Dharmesh Kumar Patel .. Ef Chitra Sinha Tuesday, 11 June .. all our wishes for this day of birth in your lives from the Ef brigade .. love ❤️

Trying desperately to fix my phone .. and what was set before suddenly changed so tried to get help from all quarters and failed .. so frustrating ..

was wanting to have English and Hindi typing , by typing in English, a Hindi word and it comes out on Devnagri .. but despite several hours of following links and experiments , I am now very close to -

BREAKING MY PHONE , BY THROWING IT OUT OF THE WINDOW !!!!

😡

no no no .. no such luck .. just letting off steam ..

🤣

so been in the company of prospective script readings and hearing various ideas and thoughts , to decide what to do next after KALKI 2898 AD, and Section 84 IPC .. to fathom the conditions from market bhujjes भज es .. which in common parlance means the genius genies of the market condition personnel .. who guide and give inputs on their reckoning what is doing well, what the cinema going audiences are liking or not liking etc., ..

Agents , management experts and the lot who run their business es on a professional level and make a living ..

hmm ..

never ever had any of these facilities in my time .. we just looked for the opportunity of another job, so we could survive the condition of running the home .. and have a living ..

now it is different ..

the next generation thinks and operates in this manner ..

I just look for another job .. and hope it comes , so our 'kitchens can run'

... and have still not got over the victory yesterday of Ind v Pak game WCT20 ..

and coming to a conclusion that the pitch at Nassau Stadium in NYC is .. well .. different .. and the scoring an arduous task .. low scores and rather unrehearsed playing in difficult to read the bowler action, quality of the ground etc., ..

And before you shut me down by wondering why I am trying to pose as a cricket buff, my apologies ..

Its just what I keep hearing from the commentary box ..

And ... the commentary box .. !!!!!???

some other time .. 🤨

Love

Amitabh Bachchan

[letmereadinpeace4]

Love Sea episode 1 Commentary

So yesterday the first episode of Love Sea was released. After watching it, I decided to put down my thoughts and impressions. Hopefully I can keep it up until the end of the drama.

First, a few things:

I have bought and read the Love Sea novel. I will try my best not to spoil anything, but this knowledge informs my perception and my commentary. I have also read Love Sand, which chronologically happens before Love Sea, and I will spoil minor plot points if I think they can help understand elements in the drama.

There will be no Mame hate in this post, or in any other posts.

With that out of the way, let’s start:

The drama opens by separately introducing the main characters. Masahamut is diving, checking and noting damages, while Tongrak is on his way to the island, wearing the most impractical travel outfit he could have possibly worn. We learn that his stay on the island was booked by Connor Warrington, a close friend of his.

The character introduction is pretty well done. Masahamut is set up as a character who deeply cares about the well-being of the island he lives on. He is shown interacting with his friend Palm (they are not biologically related, they are senior/junior) and we get an impression of someone who communicates well with others and has a joking, playful side to him. Meanwhile, Tongrak is shown alone, even as he talks with Connor, we do not hear his replies, so we get the sense of someone cut off from other people. His outfit is also very fancy, showing his financial comfort, but also wildly impractical, showing that he is not very down to earth.

To explain who the characters are in the Mame universe, Masahamut is the best friend of Khom, who is Type’s childhood friend (from Tharntype). Khom is dating Connor, who is close friend with Tongrak. Tongrak is also a novelist, and his novels have been adapted by the movie director Aphros, who is Prapai’s uncle and the director who inspired Sky after his breakdown (not going to lie, with all those connections, I am low-key surprised that the closest we ever got to incest was Tum and Tar’s relationship).

At the docks, Tongrak is not exactly impressed with the place he will be staying at. We have it confirmed that Connor booked his stay because Tongrak’s next novel will be about the ocean (Connor my beloved I love you so much you asshole). Masahamut meets Tongrak at the docks and decide to piss him off by speaking in a Southern accent and not driving an appropriate vehicle to transport his suitcases. After Tongrak blows a fuse, Masahamut cuts him off and borrows a cargo tricycle.

This develops the characters a bit further. Tongrak shows a rather childish side and a lack of control over his emotions, while Masahamut’s confidence and capacity to adapt is set up. We also see more of his playful, “troll” side. I also like how his popularity on the island is subtly shown by having him borrow a bike from someone with no issue whatsoever. People trust him!

Tongrak immediately calls Connor to complain and demands to go home, further showing his childish, needy side. We get to hear Connor, who is mostly amused. Meanwhile, Masahamut unloads Tongrak’s suitcases with an amused expression and grabs the phone to chat up with Connor.

For more explanation about Connor and Masahamut’s relationship, they met when Connor stayed at the island for the holiday. He met Khom, who was working as Masahamut’s assistant and as Connor’s guide, and Masahamut helped Connor in his pursuit of Khom (in exchange for monetary compensation. Truly a win/win situation for everyone involved).

I love how entertained Masahamut is with Tongrak’s prissiness. He doesn’t care or take it personally, just rolls with it and takes advantage of it to troll him.

Masahamut escorts Tongrak to his room, who immediately pushes him out and ignore his offer to be at his disposal if he needs anything.

Sidenote, but I love Tongrak raging against the suitcase and later at the blankets. It is so cute, childish and relatable at the same time. I have definitely “scolded” a zipper because it wouldn’t open or the printer because it had issues.

We cut to Mook, Tongrak’s assistant/secretary, who is looking very busy and overworked. She is so far the most relatable character in the drama for me, down with the messy hair. She is called by Vi, Tongrak’s best friend, who promises to keep her busy. I love her, she is such a troll! Also a cameo appearance by Ja, which is definitely great to see! Hope he’s been well!

We cut back to Tongrak as he goes to a bar, wearing a really awesome sheer shirt and enjoying the attention he gets. Palm is his waiter, and immediately start hyping up Masahamut. We get confirmation that Masahamut is really popular both with the residents and with the tourists. We also learn that he is bi, which is great! We always love to see bi representation.

Tongrak seems pissed both at the fact that Masahamut is popular and by the fact that people would assume he is attracted to him, which he is definitely not! One hundred percent not! Not a trace of attraction here! Who cares if Masahamut is handsome anyway? Not him that’s who! And his sulking has nothing to do with it.

Next morning, we get to see how much Masahamut is involved in his community. While it may seem a bit heavy-handed, I do like that this aspect of Masahamut is so strongly enforced. It gives him a lot more depth and shows his maturity.

This mature impression is immediately countered when we see that he has a double of Tongrak’s keys and didn’t tell him. He immediately takes on the caretaker role and as he cleans up the room, we learn that Connor paid Masahamut to serve as Tongrak’s caretaker/nanny/guide/sitter during his time on the island. Is it like some kind of gift reciprocity? Masahamut helped Connor date his best friend so Connor helps Masahamut get with his own friend? I also really like the comparison of Tongrak to a cat. It suits him so well. We also have it mentioned again that Tongrak is very lonely (initially, Connor filled that loneliness void, but once he started dating Khom, he could no longer give as much attention to Rak as he used to, hence why he is trying to find a solution.)

Connor wakes Tongrak up. Not going to lie I would punch him! Do not bother me before I had my tea and breakfast! As he tries to punch him Tongrak falls on the ground, giving Masahamut a perfect view of his body.

The “seduction” scene is really well-done. You can see the switch as Tongrak finds himself in a more familiar territory and tries to seduce Masahamut by removing his robe/shirt. He really seems to enjoy having power over Masahamut, especially since the latter has annoyed him so much. However while Masahamut is admirative, he does not lose his head and starts commenting on Tongrak’s lack of body hair. You can really see the switch back as Tongrak loses his confidence. Peat acted really well in that scene!

I love how offended Tongrak is by Masahamut’s lack of sexual interest. Poor kitty got his pride hurt! Speaking of which I also love how Masahamut speaks of Tongrak like a kitty he is taking care of.

Tongrak tries to provoke Masahamut by constantly asking for a different breakfast and being picky, to no success. I always enjoy seeing Tongrak’s bratty side, especially when his brattiness doesn’t work.

Masahamut is such a troll! I love him already!

Meanwhile, Tongrak has found out a way to get Masahamut to do what he wants (to some extent). He pays him to get him to speak in a Central dialect. It really sets well the economic difference between them. Tongrak has money to burn and Masahamut will do anything for money. I love how much he doesn’t care about being bought and getting money from his clients. Masahamut is there singing “Material Girl” and doesn’t care about what anyone thinks!

I love it any time Tongrak’s more vain side is shown. The way he jumps when Masahamut mentions wrinkles. Also he is supposed to be in his late twenties/early thirties.

Masahamut offers his sexual services and can obviously see that Tongrak is more interested than he lets on. “Even if you were the last man on Earth, I still wouldn’t want you”. Oh hey! I heard a cool girl named Elizabeth Bennet say the exact same thing. I wonder what happened to her….

We cut back to Mook rehearsing her speech to Vi to not have to work as her assistant. By the way I love her shirt! As she dares Vi to call her, she answers her prayers and does so! We get to see that Mook has an itemized list of how to deal with Vi! That is some thoroughness! Anyway Vi claims a light bulb in her room is busted and that Mook needs to come and change it. I see Vi subscribes to the “pulling her hair” strategy in courtship. Meanwhile Mook is getting more and more erratic and her faces are amazing! She looks offended, outraged and confused at the same time. Also I love how messy her hair is.

“I’m a frail lead actress who can’t do anything on her own” as she sits on the ladder she used to bust her own light bub to get her crush to come to her place! I love Vi she’s such a troll! Also does she have Mook’s picture? I can’t really see well.

In his room, Tongrak is having trouble writing the sex scene and we learn he needs to have sex or to hug someone to properly write sex scenes. It really is interesting that Tongrak needs an intense physical situation to describe a romantic sex scene, because it suggests that he cannot conceptualize the intensity of the emotions involved unless he experiences a “similar”, physical sensation. It really goes with him being lonely but also suggests he never truly offered his heart to anyone.

The next day, Tongrak is working on his novel, looking extremely cute with his round glasses, while Masahamut is waiting. He soon gets bored and starts reading what Tongrak is writing. I wonder if the sex scene he reads out is a random scene that was written especially for this or if it was taken from another of Mame’s novels. I cannot place it.

Anyway Masahamut is bored of it and takes Tongrak on a boat to show him around. I love how Masahamut gently scolds Tongrak and tells him to sit properly so that he doesn’t fall, causing Tongrak to sulk. It sets up their future dynamic. Also Masahamut don’t scold the kitty! He’s a city kitty and has never been on the sea before.

Tongrak is called by Mook and doesn’t hear her well. Yeah in the middle of the sea it is a lost cause. Masahamut decides to take a dive while Tongrak is on the phone, causing him to panic. I actually agree with Tongrak here! For safety reasons Masahamut should have warned him.

Tongrak freaks out and starts crying. Masahamut tries to reassure him by poiting out that he’s fine but is unsuccessful. I love how he takes the freak out seriously and only reaches to touch him after Tongrak has been unresponsive. Tongrak scolds him and Masahamut reaches out to hug him and apologize. I love the light little kiss on the forehead and how Tongrak slowly accepts Masahamut’s hug.

Afterwards, Tongrak is embarrassed about his crying episode (don’t worry baby it happens to the best of us) and plays the shy Victorian maiden when Masahamut moves to remove his shirt as if he didn’t wear a sheer shirt in public two days before. Masahamut offers to show him the good stuff, and just like Tongrak I was not thinking of clams when he said that! Again, I love how confident Masahamut is! He is aware of his charm and sees well the effect he has on Tongrak. The episode ends with them still on the roof of the boat.

Overall I really enjoyed this episode. It was a good set up for the characters and I love the atmosphere they created. I look forward to seeing more of it.

[pumpkinsy0]

Ok dude, hear me out. Steve’s dad is a very traditional man. Anything not masculine enough or traditional enough isn’t good enough. Steve’s not allowed to have hair grease so he has to hide it or his dad throws it away, and if he catches him leaving the house with it in he usually either makes him rinse it out or just beats the tar out of him (let’s face it, it’s the 60s, not just Johnny’s parents are gonna be abusive since it was super normalized in society to beat your kids. Johnny’s was probably more focused on since he was pony’s best friend and he didn’t really like Steve much nor did he talk about him much.) so he usually only leaves when he knows his dad isn’t gonna see him or just sneaks out of his window. He used to force Steve to keep his hair short but he just stopped cutting it after a while since he liked his hair long like the other greasers. His dad forces the family to go take family pictures usually, well it’s not much of a family since it’s just him and Steve but still. Whenever they do that Steve’s dad doesn’t let him put grease in his hair and has him put on the nicest clothes he has. both guys have one suit each, they're old but they work fine. He might be a bad dad but he still loves his kid so every time he makes him go to get a photos taken (which is usually whenever he had enough money saved up on the side to do it) he gives Steve a few bucks. Any thoughts?

-😻

i love when ppl send me their ideas n r like “any thoughts🤔🤔” right after, like u wanna hear MY commentary??? aw yea,,,

ANYWAYS

LOVE THE IDEA, i think ppl tend to forget that being abusive isnt just like doing what johnnys parents were doing, a LOT of the parenting styles in the 60s was just generally toxic

i dont think steves father was rlly talked about a lot but what i do maybe remember is that he would kick steve out????and that he was an alcoholic??? idk i forgor, but point is i think him being this traditional man is a very interesting take on him!! i love when ppl try to characterize these mfs parents bc we know so little about them but we have an idea of the trauma theyve left on their kids, so maybe they acted out like that bc their parents also went through something and they never rlly got help for it considering its the 60s n all, its just this cycle of abuse, the abused becomes the abuser type of thing, even if its unknowingly

hope i phrased that right n u get what i mean

BUT ANYWHO

anon im loving this idea of urs, i WILL be gobbling this up

to add on, maybe steve doesnt rlly talk about his dad so much especially to the gang in general is bc he feels like others have it way worse than him, like yea, his dad kicks him out, but at the same time his dad at least acknowledges him, feeds him, gives him money, that kinda thing, his dad still somewhat cares for him so he feels like he cant rlly say much about the bad things his dad DOES do, maybe only soda rlly knows

[jazzyblusnowflake]

First off, just wanna say you’re one of my favorite md creators when it comes to art and commentary ❤️ ty for being cool n stuff

Secondly, got any more nuzi headcanons or aus in mind? Would love to hear about them.

oh shit people ACTUALLY read my commentaries???

shit, welp time to relocate and change my identity-

and oop i have a lot of AUs, its just that not all of them are nuzi centered XD i mean Nuzi eventually happens, its just that its not the center of the story.

here are some:

i have some personal Reverse Solver au with ocs which is basically an overglorified future au with fankids and humans and aliens and Tessa being alive and new types of drones >:)

i have a Nuzi personality Switch&Swap au which im hoping to draw later on- cuz i already have some story snippets decided on it >:3

i have a massive Human au which i still dont have a name for yet smh- which is very crime, mystery and horror related, the romance comes as a thing that happens during the story- which has a lot of ships that yall probably have seen @keebokuun draw some of uwu basically Uzi is a semi-handicapped girl in the future year of 2371- who in searching for the mystery behind her mothers death, gets stuck in a story way bigger than herself.

i have an Unsolver au in which the solver is just simply a super advanced AI with a sense of indeviduality and the horrors basically just dont happen. Cyn gets to grow as a host, Tessa becomes the head of the mechanical maintanance devision in JCJ, and the disassembler drones are transformed willingly without any gore or beheading lmao. the purpose and plot of the story is something different from the original show, but they eventually do meet Uzi and the others later. its just that the story is a bit extra sunshine and rainbows just cuz i want the characters to have a good ending 😭

Theres the Exorsists au which i posted about a while back :"3 - though this and the Unsolver au are pretty recent and im not sure where to go with them yet, or if i ever will lol but they are fun to think about uwu

anyway i think thats all i can think of for NOW- yall cant keep my brain down for too long lmao- id make a Siren/Mermaid au too but honestly i feel like thats a bit too easy for me, i like a challange- >:3

[obsidianbaby]

STURNIOLO TRIPLETS AT HOGWARTS HEADCANONS

a/n - this is all my opinion!! I would love to hear what y'all think about this if you fuck with harry potter

this is an au where the plot of voldemort does not exist btw**

____________________________________________

NICK

probably balled his eyes out when the Hogwarts acceptance letter came (even though it was expected) mary lou definitely hung it up on the wall

definitely got into slytherin (he's so cunt and ambitions)

would be great friends with pansy, they would spend time people watching and making hilarious commentary

would think draco is the most insufferable loser to ever exist and would constantly laugh at him when he's being whiney and dramatic over something stupid

probably the photographer for the school

also at every hufflepuff and gryffindor quidditch game cheering for his brothers even if they're facing his own house

probably has his own side business making herbal salves, etc.

would fucking love astronomy and herbology

would threaten to cast a spell on Chris all the time that would silence him (wouldn't be surprising if he actually did)

constantly taking pictures of his friends and his brothers and making cute little photo albums to commemorate his experiences

definitely attaching cute lil trinkets and pins to his robes and his bags

CHRIS

got into gryffindor (no one's surprised)

expressed how proud he is of his brothers for the house they got into (even though he's really sad they aren't all going to room together)

sneaks out of his dorms occasionally to take turns sleeping in his brothers' dorms

100% on the quidditch team as a chaser

definitely hangouts with fred and george causing mayhem

has the girls at hogwarts wrapped around his fucking fingers but actively avoids any type of romantic situation

probably be a part of the dueling club

would love going to hogsmeade for shopping and for the pubs

would absolutely hex himself by accident, multiple times in fact

absolutely getting caught on many occasions sneaking into the kitchens for sweet treats

probably has a butterbeer addiction

would use any excuse he can to not wear his robes (they're too thick and heavy)

asks the most wild outlandish questions in class leaving the profs too stunned to speak

MATT

obviously in hufflepuff even though he was sure he'd get into gryffindor with chris

also on his house's quidditch team but as the keeper (we already know he has goalie skills)

when he isn't with his brothers or in class he spends his time reading with hermione at the library or with luna and neville at the lake journaling

if there was a hogwarts student paper he would definitely be in charge of the anonymous advice section

would spend his weekends trapping himself in his dorms until someone literally drags him away from his bed

would adore mythical creatures classes

his pet of choice is most definitely a cat

probably going to hagrids daily to help him with his animals and listen to his stories

closest to luna and neville because he will be content just sitting there listening to them ramble on about creatures and magical plants

best flyer (neck and neck with harry)

goes on late night broom rides with harry

you can probably find him at the top of the astronomy tower or at the edge of the black lake in the middle of the night just enjoying some peace and quiet

would get extremely homesick while at hogwarts and he counts down to post days so he can receive letters from his friends and family back home (even though he rarely writes them back)

__________________________________________

tell me some of your headcanons for the triplets at hogwarts!!

[dramavixen]

Love and Redemption: A Fantasy Epic About How Prejudice Destroys Worlds, and How Love Pieces Them Back Together

**major spoilers for: Love and Redemption

After wrapping up a watch-through of Mysterious Lotus Casebook, my mom had the brilliant idea that we should rewatch the work that launched Cheng Yi to fame (or at the very least solidified him as the man to hire if you need someone to spit blood): Love and Redemption. 

I’m certain she only found this idea appealing because she doesn’t remember a TV show after it’s over. Credits rolling? Aight, time for the woman to clear up space on her brain’s memory drive. Meanwhile, my life flashed before my eyes as I recalled the anguish that’s synonymous with the show’s plot. But you know how things go when your mom wants something. If she says you're sitting through 44 hours of emotional torture with her, then you plant yourself on that couch until it’s over.

Ironically, Love and Redemption fares even better on rewatch. Though other xianxias have come close to its place in my heart, I’m now concerned that my palate won’t be so easily satiated again. It’s got your conventional reincarnation, warring realms, and a star-crossed romance while throwing curveball after curveball to shatter your expectations. Complex characters, too? An endgame villain who will haunt you in your sleep? You can’t ask for more. 

Just because you didn’t ask, doesn’t mean that the show won’t deliver something extra. I like to think that nothing reflects a society’s unsightly reality like a well-done fantasy, and this one hits closer to home the more time that passes. A thinly veiled commentary on human flaws and how difficult it is to be a good person, Love and Redemption is a drama for the ages.

This is going to get lengthy, so to prepare you, here’s how I’m divvying up this piece:

Part I: All of Them Are Classist

Part II: All of Them Are Sexist

Part III: All of Them Are Racist

Part IV: Love Wins All

---

Part I: All of Them Are Classist

It’s not my intention to disgust anyone right out of the gate, but we need to talk about Wu Tong. Do you hear what I hear? Yes, it’s the distant echo of Wu Tong’s nefarious laughter, resounding between the walls of my skull.

Quite simply, Wu Tong is the worst. (Or at least he would be, if it weren’t for that other fellow named Bai Lin. That dude will get a glaring spotlight later in this essay, trust me.) But it’s not for no reason.

Coming from a background of poverty, Wu Tong spends most of his young life trying to prove himself to upper class cultivators who don’t have any interest in who he is, only in what he has to offer them. He earns his place in his sect through relentless hard work. He utilizes unsportsmanlike methods in his attempts to win the battle tournament in opening episodes. It's not just a competition to him—he's directly told that if he gets anything other than first place, he can forget about keeping his place in his sect.

When he and the protagonists first meet, his prideful personality results from his inferiority complex. There’s no doubt that he’s a powerful cultivator, but the issue is how he finds that to be his only real value. He doesn't bother to be likable, because what's the point in doing that? Being likable doesn't fill an empty stomach. But the more he disrespects others in an effort to make himself appear important, the more others look down on him, and the more he overcompensates by fighting back even more. It’s a vicious cycle—one that never ends because no one involved wants to take the first step back.

Knowing what type of person he becomes, it’s hard to pity him in any capacity. However, it would still be unfair to ignore how others mistreat him before he even turns into a true enemy.

One scene that sticks out to me happens early on, where Wu Tong nearly injures Xuanji during a 1v1 battle against Minyan. The protagonist crew insists on getting payback. Okay, I’m with it. You can’t let such reckless violence slide. I guess they’ll get their revenge in a later stage of the tournament by beating him into the ground? 

Nah. That would be too reasonable. What they actually opt for is tricking him to fall into a trap by putting up a “have you seen my lost snake?” poster with a financial reward, knowing that he’ll be fooled because…he’s poor.

Sifeng: I asked around. Wu Tong was born to a family of lower status. He lives frugally. The reason he trains so hard is because he hopes to become someone powerful one day. […] Now he needs the money urgently to buy medicine and recuperate his inner strength before his next battle. Minyan: When you put it that way, doesn’t that mean he has no choice but to come for the ten night pearls?

Sifeng…oh no. Not you too.

The way Wu Tong behaves doesn’t warrant anyone being amicable toward him. I, too, have a nonexistent tolerance for obnoxious, violent egoists. But if later episodes are any evidence, this scene foreshadows that two wrongs won’t make a right. If they want to teach him a lesson, they shouldn’t stoop so low as to take advantage of his poverty. His family background is the one thing about him that isn’t his fault, yet it’s the one thing they choose to use against him. That’s what I call “going too far.”

Now that he's been hit where it hurts, Wu Tong feels justified in going too far himself. In a fit of desperation and contempt prompted by his master abandoning him, he stabs Xuanji. Not great. Things get extremely not great when you remember that Xuanji is the daughter of a sect leader. That quickly transforms Wu Tong’s attempted murder/almost manslaughter into the evilest act known to mankind. All five sects turn against him to hunt him down and kill him. I’m no law or philosophy expert, but I’m pretty sure the punishment for almost manslaughter is not the death penalty. 

The five sects can treat him as their prey because he doesn’t have a support system to counter them. If he were the son of another sect leader, the thought of killing him would never even have entered their minds. Targeting him so relentlessly has less to do with justice and more to do with exerting power over a lower-class young man who hurt someone infinitely more “important” than him. 

That imbalance between crime and punishment is what pushes Wu Tong over the edge. He goes on the run for several years before officially succumbing to the call of evil, after which he becomes truly irredeemable. Still, you’re occasionally reminded of his struggle—is he destined to be a villain? Or is throwing aside his remaining morality just his best chance at survival? 

Do you have any idea how I survived these past several years, when you were all trying to kill me? What did I do back then that was so unforgivable? Did your sister die? Was it warranted for all five sects to team up against me, an average disciple? Was it warranted to back me into a corner over and over again, to force me to claw out of hell? Open your eyes and look at me! These past four years, I’ve already died countless times. Every time, I clawed my way back out of hell. Five hundred taels? You want to take my life with a measly five hundred taels? Don’t look down on me. Touch here. I have a fake leg. That’s what your five sects have left me with. What’s that look of yours? Guilt? Pity? I’m not telling you this for you to pity me. I, Wu Tong, survived this far because I must have my revenge.

Something my mom likes to say is if you find yourself going against someone—but especially a dangerous person—you must leave a path for their survival. It’s less for their sake than it is for yours. Should you eliminate all their options, they’ll have no choice but to bite. And they’ll make sure it hurts like hell. 

As an impetuous teenager, Wu Tong is in the wrong. He needs to be taught that his actions are unacceptable. But that can’t be accomplished by putting a bounty on his head and demanding that he be murdered. That’s how you turn a scoundrel into a monster.

Minyan, Wu Tong’s foil, similarly doesn’t come from an optimal background. An orphan, he was taken in by the Shaoyang Sect without the obvious pressure that Wu Tong suffers. Even so, he can’t escape the innate inequality that seems to exist between him and his fellow disciples. It especially affects him because he’s in love with Linglong, Xuanji’s sister but more importantly…also the daughter of the sect leader! Poor guy.

When I was little, kids in the village would surround me every day and call me a bastard child with no parents. I could only pretend that I didn’t hear them. Because if I took it to heart, they would only ridicule me more. We can’t shut the mouths of people who want to slander us. But we can choose not to listen.

He may think that he’s past it, but later episodes see Minyan being manipulated using that exact insecurity. It’s easy to impersonate his master and nudge him to become a “spy” in the enemy base because he’s compelled to prove himself worthy of the sect and worthy of Linglong. Fake Sect Leader Chu Lei tells him:

When I first met you, you were only eight years old. You were homeless on the streets, starving and shivering. Still, you clung to your family dagger and refused to pawn it. In that moment, I knew that you were a child with an iron will. That’s why I’m here to find you today.

I can agree that Minyan is really stupid to immediately believe that his master, a guy well-known for pretending to do important things more than he actually does them, would tell him to do something as reckless as invade enemy territory. However, he also heeds the impostor’s instructions because realistically, his master asking him to prove himself is something that could happen. Any good disciple would naturally want to repay their masters for their favor, let alone a disciple who would otherwise have nowhere else to go.

The contrast between Minyan and Wu Tong shoves itself in your face as you watch, primarily through their respective relationships with Linglong (well, one of them has a relationship. The other is a creep. Can you guess who’s who?). Without family backing, the two men both struggle to find their place in the world, but they’re complete opposites purely because of their upbringing. Thankfully for Minyan, he found a family amongst people who don’t treat him as “another,” even if he may think of himself as such.

Wu Tong isn’t so fortunate. You can say it’s his own doing, a result of his terrible personality, but he certainly wasn’t born like that. And now someone will pay for it.

---

Part II: All of Them Are Sexist

As a caveat, I’ll mention that the main cast really could have used a woman who isn’t some combination of foolish, lovestruck, and/or loud. But I’m willing to overlook it just this once because the writers excel in highlighting both the ladies' flaws and how we as an audience exaggerate those flaws through our own preconceptions. 

Working backwards in terms of plot importance, we can start with Xiao Yinhua. Sifeng’s snake familiar in a human form, Xiao Yinhua is like most female leads from the turn of the millennium in that her only real strength is throwing temper tantrums. She’s also like most second female leads from the turn of the millennium in that she constantly prefers using underhanded tactics and harming others to achieve her goals—in other words, a snake. Oh. I guess that makes sense.

Her affections toward Sifeng cloud her already nonexistent judgment and prompt her to make some of the worst decisions made by anyone, ever. At first, I thought I was being unfair toward her because of my own internalized misogyny. But no. I can say with absolute confidence that I would abhor this character no matter what gender or creature or object she may be. She has no redeeming qualities aside from teaching us that someone foolish, lovestruck, and loud is doomed to self-sabotage. From that perspective, she’s still a valuable character to have because now we know that before we act, we should think: would Xiao Yinhua do that thing? If she would, do not do that thing. 

If Xiao Yinhua were willing to grow up, she could become more similar to Zi Hu. Zi Hu almost acts as a parallel to Sifeng—hopelessly in love with someone who doesn’t return the affection for a literal thousand years. Also, both are very pretty. Ahem.

Zi Hu’s thousand years’ worth of experience gives her the skills to back up her unrelenting feelings for Wu Zhiqi. She’s a rarity in that her driving force is a man—a motivation that's typically a reputation ruiner for female characters—but you find her lovable instead of thinking that she lacks self-respect. The key is that her love isn’t blind and rash like Xiao Yinhua’s. Zi Hu has a plan to save Wu Zhiqi from his prison and she carries it out with intention. In other words, it’s okay to focus on love, but only if you can take responsibility for your feelings. 

Ting Nu: Why go so far? When did Wu Zhiqi ever tell you that he loved you? Your affections are merely one-sided. Zi Hu: When did he tell me he didn’t love me? Look, once I rescue him, he’ll have to be with me to thank me. 

Because Zi Hu is a literal fox, people suspect her both for being a demon and for being the demon notorious for seducing men to consume their souls. The latter is quickly debunked and becomes less of an issue than her just being a plain demon. I nonetheless find it hilarious how everyone balks when she shows them her harem of men gleefully living in her backyard. Yep, she’s a cunning vixen. You can just keep wishing you could join that harem.

Zi Hu: You're trying to shoo me away. You think I’ll storm out because of your petty tricks? You’re underestimating me. I’ve already decided, starting today, I’m going to follow you everywhere. Even if you don’t want me to, I’m going to cling to you. This old spirit isn’t going to let those thousand years of waiting be in vain. Wherever you go, I’m going with. If you dare sneak peeks at other pretty women, I’ll dig out your monkey eyes. All in all, if I’m around, no pretty woman can enter your vision. As if you could bear to leave me behind if I hang around for another thousand years!

Xiao Yinhua and Zi Hu aren’t overly victimized based on their gender within the show itself. For the better too, because whoever dares to do so would probably end up dead by a fox's claws and a snake's teeth. These two characters' existences test your innate view of female characters instead. What is it that matters to you in a female character? What standards do you hold against them?

(**Content warning for the below segment until the next purple break: brief mentions of sexual assault and suicide.)

And that's where we come to Linglong. Linglong is a loudmouthed spoiled brat. She's overbearing, and while she wants to protect Xuanji, her method of doing it is by crying crocodile tears and throwing temper tantrums in front of their father. No wonder she and Xiao Yinhua clash—two childish people who both have a compulsion to win arguments? Forget it.

A bulk of the drama sees Linglong’s primordial spirit being taken and held captive by Wu Tong. Wu Tong puts half of her primordial spirit into the body of a flower demon, whom he also forces to take on Linglong’s physical appearance. No other reason, he just wants to have his way with someone who looks and acts like Linglong, the person who jeered at him all those years ago. By the time the real Linglong recovers her primordial spirit, Wu Tong has done enough damage that she’s haunted by nightmares and memories of someone who assaulted her when she couldn't even fight back.

The lead-up to this arc is incredibly disturbing and takes root in the very first episode. On my first watch-through, I thought their relationship would take a classic enemies-to-lovers path. The directors and writers pull you in this direction with no subtlety, showing a smitten Wu Tong when he first lays eyes on Linglong. They then keep the scam going by having him act out in awful ways as he attempts to gain her attention. That’s right, it’s the brainwashing girls receive when they’re on the playground: “he pulls your hair because he likes you."

During their first meeting, Linglong is surrounded by a halo filter from Wu Tong’s perspective. Knowing what he’ll later do to her makes the seeming innocuousness of this scene revolting, but it's necessary. It's the first of many steps to prove that someone’s “affections” can’t be used as an excuse for harming whomever’s on the receiving end of them. 

Linglong can be an extremely annoying person. Her outspokenness and difficult temper shape her into an unlikable character, which then ensures that by the time Wu Tong captures her, the audience almost instinctively wants to say that it’s her fault. We all know the talk track: “he liked her, so why couldn’t she just have been nicer to him? She asked for it by being mean to him.”

When Linglong first offends Wu Tong, it isn’t for no reason: she’s angry because he endangers her sister’s life over and over again. Admittedly, she goes overboard in her retaliation against him. So what? Linglong being mean to Wu Tong and Wu Tong later targeting her are indeed connected events, but the former doesn't justify the latter. If we say that the five sects hunting Wu Tong down isn’t a fair punishment, then isn’t it also unfair for him to turn the tables on her in such a way? 

Essentially, Linglong isn’t the “ideal” victim. That’s what makes her arc all the more heartbreaking. To this day, society wants to find any excuses for the assailant. Any mistake, any flaw of the victim's will be used against her. As humans, maybe it’s instinct for us to hope that bad things only happen to bad people, and victim-blaming is our twisted way of making that an impossible reality. 

Overcome with depression and trauma, Linglong is unable to come to terms with what Wu Tong did to her. Men gossip about her and her “relationship” with the enemy, sometimes harassing her straight to her face. Wu Tong himself finds great delight in taunting her about her “sharing his bed,” not only relishing the memories but also enjoying how much it torments her.

Linglong: It was my fault that I was captured by Wu Tong, wasn’t it? [...] Everyone thinks so. I didn’t want to be captured by Wu Tong. But after Wu Tong said all those things, everyone thinks so. Minyan: Linglong, why care about what everyone else thinks? Just pretend that you didn’t hear any of it. Linglong: But I did hear them. Why do I need to pretend I didn’t? It’s something that actually happened, so why do I need to play dumb and trick myself into thinking it didn’t? Are you going to be like them too, and mock me?

All the accusations brainwash her into thinking everything is her fault. To Wu Tong and all the people judging her, she’s nothing but a pawn to be used for their own entertainment. And once she and Minyan leave the protection of the sect, everyone finds her an easy target to push around. Hoping that her death will mean freedom for both herself and her loved ones, she attempts to drown herself before being yanked back to life and reality by Minyan.

Linglong’s struggle is many women’s worst nightmare. It’s also a diligent representation of PTSD, something that I normally wouldn’t expect from a xianxia drama. Even after she's rescued and everyone tells her that her suffering is over, it never feels over for her. At night, Lingling is awoken by harrowing dreams of Wu Tong returning to kidnap her once again:

Nightmare!Wu Tong: You’ll always belong to me. You can’t escape.

The conclusion to her arc being Wu Tong’s death and his literal letting go of her may be quite idealistic. But I prefer to think that giving Linglong her happy ending is the writers’ way of trying to assuage our fears, of showing us that there will always be another sunrise regardless of what happens.

(**Content warning end.)

Linglong becomes the drama’s strongest woman-centric plot, and I really love that the writers did it with a character whose personality isn't the most appealing. She's the imperfect woman we can find in every corner of the world, a representation of women overall instead of the minority who are considered "deserving" of justice.

Next to her, Xuanji also gets a short end of the stick. She's constantly being pushed to marry Hao Chen. Every excuse in the book is used against her: they're a fated couple, he's the only one that can take care of her, doesn't she agree that this is a part of her duty? No matter how logically she objects to it, no one really cares what she thinks. If she objects, she’s being headstrong, and that’s the end of it. (More on Xuanji to come in Part IV of this essay.)

And aside from Bai Lin’s more obvious transgressions (we're getting to those), what really irked me is just how twisted he makes the God of War’s rebellion appear in others’ eyes. The logic turns quickly from “Bai Lin must have done something wrong” into “the God of War must have been in love with Bai Lin and grew resentful that he rejected her.” I guess it’s very believable that the God of War would want to destroy the entire universe because some guy wouldn’t date her? That’s right, you can be the most accomplished woman in your field and someone will still want to attribute everything you do to being motivated by romance.

Naturally, the next question is—why is Bai Lin such a weirdo? Why does he insist on turning his friend Luohou Jidu, a man, into a woman when creating the God of War? Hmm. I smell a waft of homophobia...

---

Part III: All of Them Are Racist

And except for a small minority, I really mean "all of them" this time. Humans and celestial beings are racist toward demons. Demons are racist back toward humans and celestial beings. If you asked both sides who started it, they'd point at the other without hesitation. "They started it. By existing."

I don’t even know where to start with this topic. Part of me believes this entire section of analysis could be extraneous—do I really need to do a deep dive when you could just click a random timestamp of a random episode and have a 50% chance of finding a character saying something incredibly racist? No case studies necessary. The drama is the case study.

Obviously, while I may say that all the different races are racist toward one another, some are notably more egregious in their discrimination than others. The five sects, being in power, are the worst offenders. Every other second, someone is reminding another that they need to wipe out demons. Just the utterance of the word “demon” makes them froth at the mouth. In their possession, they have treasure troves of weapons and magical devices whose collective main purpose is to identify and kill demons. Perhaps you know someone in real life who thinks that hating something is a personality trait—that’s the five sects in a nutshell.

Zi Hu and Ting Nu are continuously snubbed for not being human even after they’ve long proven that they’re more help than harm. Ting Nu is a doctor, but even saving Hao Chen doesn’t make them think of him as anything but a demon who is evil in his very bones. Demons can do everything right, but the high and mighty humans are too pure and innocent to associate with them…aside from killing and torturing them, of course.

Highlighted Exhibit A: Sifeng almost being tortured and whipped to death based on the mere suspicion that he’s a demon. The fact that he is one doesn’t matter. His assailants operate on the doctrine that they’d rather kill an innocent person than let a demon roam free. Every action to rid the world of a demon is a virtuous one. It's a reenactment of the Monty Python witch trial but they're being completely serious. 

Highlighted Exhibit B: the other sects band together to wipe out Lize Palace without solid confirmation as to whether they’re all demons. They’re operating on the same principle as in Exhibit A, so at least you can praise them for being consistent.

Highlighted Exhibit C: before Sifeng is revealed to be a pretty bird, Xuanji’s repeated defense of him consists of "Sifeng isn’t a demon." The main purpose of these lines is to instill further fear into Sifeng and give him more reason to keep lying to her, all while Xuanji's trust in him deepens. But is it also some of her lingering innate judgment seeping through? A subconscious understanding that her family and sect will never accept a demon as her boyfriend? Well, joke’s on them because he’s one hot bird.

So how are you supposed to survive as a demon? Lize Palace results from the humans’ desire to eradicate an entire race of demons. Just as Wu Tong is driven only by revenge, the demons of Lize Palace just need to survive for long enough to one day remove their masks and live as themselves. Humans’ endless thirst for blood does nothing but fuel demons’ fire of rebellion and keep the wheel of tragedy turning.

As for the “bad guys” of Tianxu Hall? At least when they commit the same acts of evil as the other five sects, they’re willing to admit that being evil isn’t beyond them.

Yuan Lang is an extremely successful villain for this very reason. All of us love Yuan Lang, so much that we start grinning whenever he comes on-screen with his fan and sarcastic mouth. So much that when it's revealed he's been consuming people's souls, all my mom had to say about it was: “Oh. That's mean of him.”

He plots and he lies and he murders, but he doesn’t put up a facade of holding himself to a lofty moral standard. It’s also quite telling that while Yuan Lang machinates behind the scenes, 90% of his time is spent standing by and calling others out on their bullshit. Everyone around him creates their own downfall. He just happens to benefit from their stupidity.

Man with a fan and a plan. I like. 

Even so, Yuan Lang isn’t invulnerable to emotion. One of my absolute favorite scenes is where Di Lang sacrifices himself so Yuan Lang can make a getaway. It’s the only instance of Yuan Lang being subject to the pain of caring about someone else. Those short moments contrast so starkly against the sects’ inhumanity that suddenly, a revolution doesn’t seem all that bad.

Behind the bulky mask, his despair is apparent. Man. This actor’s come a long way since his F4—I mean, H4 days. If you've never watched Let's Go Watch Meteor Shower Together, don't.

Finally, we arrive on the topic of Bai Lin. Oh, boy. I still haven’t watched Blood of Youth because seeing the actor’s face triggers my fight-or-flight response. And it’s been years.

Bai Lin, the one racist to rule them all. The guy must have a handbook on “How to Be Racist” or something—how else could the contempt that spews from his mouth, the spark of repugnance in his eyes, and the brazen obstinacy in his opinions be so immaculate?

The entire drama consists of setting the stage for the full reveal of Bai Lin turning Luohou Jidu into a weapon of war to be used against his own people. By the time all the pieces fall into place, you’ve already witnessed the tragedy created by discriminatory practices between mortals. You've seen how Sifeng is targeted and Xuanji forced to move her hand against him. You've seen how the sects use their power to harm instead of help. You've seen how demons plot their revenge for centuries. Once Bai Lin is confirmed to be the genesis of all that, there’s nothing left for you to feel but utter revulsion.

Bai Lin: Celestial beings and demons cannot coexist. How could my Heavenly Realm possibly hold a marriage with the Devil Tribe? Luohou Jidu: Celestial beings and demons cannot coexist...Then why do you drink with me today? Why are you friends with me? Bai Lin: Naturally, Brother Jidu, you’re different from other demons and devils. Out of all the demons and devils in this world, Brother Jidu is my only friend.

Can’t believe he even pulls the "you’re one of the good ones" card.

Bai Lin, practitioner of unethical tactics: his ultimate decision to trick and use Luohou Jidu results from racism-induced paranoia. He simply can’t believe that his friend will remain his friend, not unless he becomes "one of us." He thinks the God of War should appreciate that he's given her power and invested his time and energy in her tenth reincarnation, going so far as fool her into thinking that they loved each other once upon a time. Once Xuanji shows herself capable of independent thought, he doesn’t hesitate in turning against her and manipulating her to destroy her own self. He eventually sacrifices the entire world for the Heavenly Realm's survival. After all, what's the value of an entire planet's human and demon population in the face of his power?

He's the representation of what happens when those in power, those who have the best chance of righting wrongs and preventing more from happening, decide to perpetuate the problem. At the same time, he presents the predicament that those we rely on to give us justice are also victims of their own emotions and fears.

I venture to say that Bai Lin is the best-written antagonist in modern xianxia. He’s ruthless but has a moral compass, albeit one that only points in one direction—toward himself. His hubris aside, you have to admit that he genuinely believes he's acting for the greater good. The ends justify the means because he thinks he’s bettering the world.

Bai Lin makes awful decisions that involve genocide and cruelty because he operates on a strict utilitarian philosophy. "I do what I think will bring the best results, even if it means sacrificing something huge in the process." He’s the most dangerous character and the person we should also fear in real life because he’ll stop at nothing to create his definition of a paradise.

It would be easy to dismiss him as simply being a bad person. However, this show draws from reality in that every person exists in a gray area between good and bad. You can lean one way or the other, but you don’t fall completely into either. And that’s the foundation of the show's conflicts. Everyone's so busy trying to define what’s right and wrong that they’ve lost sight of basic compassion.

When he’s finally faced with the consequences of his actions, Bai Lin is driven to despair. He feels true remorse over what he’s done, but only because he’s fortunate enough to actually witness how the thousand-year conflict wouldn't have existed without him. We as people aren’t so lucky—those “what if”s will forever remain in the shrouded realm of impossibility.

Heavenly Emperor: You always thought that evil had sparked in the hearts of the God of War and Luohou Jidu. But the one in whom evil truly sparked was you. All things and happenings in this world are originally empty. From emptiness comes meaning. Yin and yang reverse; they support and restrain one another. The Heavenly Realm was originally empty. The Asura, too, was empty. If all is empty, then how could the Heavenly Realm be superior; and the Mortal Realm, Demon Realm, and Devil Realm be inferior? Your excessive concern for the safety of the Heavenly Realm prompted evil to take root in your heart, unable to be undone.

Seeing him in such despair almost makes me feel bad for him. Maybe I do have too much sympathy.

At this point, it's already too late to repair the damage he's caused, a realization that causes him further anguish. He rids himself of his divinity to show his remorse and accepts death. But he's already caused so much pain to everyone else. Who can put back together the world that he's destroyed?

---

Part IV: Love Wins All

(We love IU for her perfect song that also gave me the best possible final section title.)

As I seek to be conscious of my own biases, I once wondered: why is it that shaking my head at a female character for being dedicated to a man comes so naturally to me, but I can’t be more gleeful to see Sifeng put his heart out on a platter for Xuanji? Perhaps I’m also sexist. Perhaps I have double standards.

Then I thought about it some more and realized everyone loves Sifeng because he’s so blatantly unrealistic that you’re immediately able to sink yourself into his fictional beauty. He transcends gender norms because there is no person of any gender who would go to the extent that he does for Xuanji, nor is there anyone who could remain as levelheaded when faced with some of the most shameless people known to mankind. Forget all the people flying on swords and uttering magic spells. The biggest absurdity in Love and Redemption is its male lead. Yes, I'm a skeptic. But we're so lucky to have him.

Sifeng grew up in a bizarrely backwards environment where—instead of girls needing to cover up to not attract men’s attention—all men need to protect themselves by wearing masks and not associating with the opposite sex. Brainwashed for years to believe that Lize Palace is the only safe space for golden fire birds like himself, he keeps cautious around people while still harboring a subconscious longing for their warmth.

In my entire life, I never knew what a "friend" is. I finally understand now, the meaning of "fervent friendship."

Sifeng is established as the loyal lover extremely quickly. He's whipped—figuratively and literally—for Xuanji, his sheltered childhood leaving him defenseless against her unintentionally flirtatious mannerisms. He teaches her about her lost senses without judgment, nurtures limitless patience with her and others by proxy, and isn't afraid to question the status quo.

We love Sifeng for his wisdom and levelheadedness. He sees things for what they are and is commonly the voice of empathy and reason within a world of selfishness. The entire show is Sifeng going, "I might as well do it myself" in every situation because no one else cares, is capable enough, or both. He's the guy in group projects who quietly does everything and doesn't even get mad that you're the most useless team member ever. What a saint.

In the xianxia universe, he's distinct husband material (which isn’t saying much since the bar there is so low that you'd need to dig yourself a grave to reach it—which is also great because then you already have a place to go once your xianxia spouse gets you killed. I digress). His loyalty to not only others, but also who he is and what he wants, leaves him able to counter the complacency with hatred and evil permeating the world around him.

With his endless empathy, he's able to understand Luohou Jidu. While Sifeng's earliest motivation in facing the greatest devil is only to save Xuanji, he later views Luohou Jidu as an individual with his own sufferings. He's the only one to truly view Luohou Jidu as himself, not someone to eliminate, not just an extension of Xuanji. To Sifeng, everyone deserves a chance to be heard before a verdict is passed over them.

Not to mention, these two’s interactions are absolutely hilarious. I wish I could've seen the extensive conversations that must’ve went on in the censorship agency over them. 

Fellas, is it gay to clasp a guy’s hands within your own and stare deeply into his eyes while reminiscing about your loving relationship if he’s technically got a woman captive in his brain? 

But perhaps what shines the brightest about Sifeng is how he suffers. He's so pretty when he suffers. Wait. That's not my point.

When his Lovers’ Curse triggers for the first time, Xiao Yinhua speaks the gospel that a lot of the audience probably has in mind: "you did so much for her, you were so good to her, but she doesn’t love you back." And it sounds kind of right? But also kind of not? Then Sifeng opens his mouth and you think, "oh, crap, I've been brainwashed by misogyny yet again."

She never asked me to like her. If someone wants to kill another just because she doesn’t reciprocate their feelings, then that person will never be loved. They also don’t deserve to love another.

Again and again, Sifeng puts himself in harm's way to keep loving Xuanji. Sure, he wants her to love him back, but that's secondary to his desire to be honest with his own feelings.

With the bright beacon of light that is Sifeng’s blinding love, I feel most viewers overlook Xuanji’s capabilities as a female lead. Her comparative passiveness in the relationship makes it seem as if she doesn’t love him enough. I attribute this to the same reason as our previous conclusions, that female characters in romance dramas have a harder time garnering the audience’s approval than their male counterparts. Are we innately more judgmental toward women, or is the standard for men still so low that we’re already impressed when a guy surpasses the bare minimum? Probably both.

It's easy to forget that Xuanji is the one who's nice to Sifeng first. When they first meet, Xuanji literally falls into his arms. Then he just…drops her. (And they say chivalry is dead.) But Xuanji doesn’t care.

The rules of his sect push Sifeng into being a bit of a porcupine in his demeanor. He puts up a wall against everyone, but especially Xuanji. After all, as an innocent boy, Sifeng needs to protect himself from evil women. Or something.

Xuanji is the one who can't take the hint tries to befriend him and tears down his wall with the gentle, graceful nature of a sledgehammer. She insists that she'll retrieve his lost mask because she knows it's important to him. When she discovers that Sifeng is punished over it, Xuanji is the one to point out how unfair it is. Her straightforwardness and sense of principle are the reason Sifeng begins to open up at all.

Xuanji: I’m the one who took off his mask. If you want to hit someone, hit me. [...] Not to mention, he almost died trying to get his mask back. So I'd like to ask you, Palace Leader, is Sifeng's life more important, or is that mask more important?

She knows no fear, so she doesn't consider emotionless rules to be worth anything if they cause pain for the people she cares about. In many ways, Xuanji is the one who teaches Sifeng to stand up for what he believes in.

That Xuanji lacks her six senses makes her the least susceptible to the prejudicial habits of her surroundings. She accepts what they believe, that demons are bad, but only because that's all she knows. Whereas most of her peers are content remaining in their ignorance, this supposedly heartless gal is curious about the world. She can easily abandon her preconceptions in favor of what she witnesses the world to be.

It takes constant practice and tests for Xuanji to completely shed her old beliefs. The introduction of Zi Hu marks the beginning of her growth. Xuanji, concerned and angry that Zi Hu is holding her friends captive, fully intends on killing the fox until Ting Nu reasons with her:

Ting Nu: Zi Hu isn’t a malicious demon. You shouldn’t threaten her life. Xuanji: But she kidnapped my friends. How can I spare her? [...] No. She did bad things, so I have to kill her. Ting Nu: [...] Zi Hu has never actually harmed anybody. She’s simply misguided by her anxieties. You should spare her life. […] If you discover that she’s actually committing malicious acts, you could kill her then, no?

If it were Minyan or Linglong in her position, you could bet that they'd ignore Ting Nu. For one, he's a merman, so of course he'd protect another demon. To Xuanji's credit, she really does give Zi Hu—and Ting Nu—the benefit of the doubt. Does she have to? No. But she does anyway.

If Sifeng’s love comes naturally, then Xuanji’s comes through determination. Who's to say that one is inherently better than the other? It takes ten lifetimes for her to understand a semblance of love. She wants dearly to understand what it means to "like" someone, even though she's already the least unafraid to show how much she cares about others.

After she successfully grows the heart light for Sifeng, I don't think anyone is more excited than Xuanji herself. Look how proud she is. Obviously, she's happy she can use it to protect him, but I imagine that she also views it as the clearest proof that she’s as human as anybody else and as capable of loving as anyone else. Sifeng may be stunned when the heart light disappears, but Xuanji falls despondent—she really wants Sifeng to be someone important to her.

People sometimes struggle to see past Xuanji’s initial naivety. They're especially harsh toward her for not seeing what Sifeng has sacrificed for her until it’s almost too late. It's true, the drama primarily favors Sifeng's perspective, so it's easy to only see what he’s done and ignore Xuanji’s efforts.

In spite of warnings from Sifeng himself to not do so, Xuanji emerges to save him from the third lash of the demon whip. You go, girl.

Love isn’t a competition. But for the sake of the discussion, let's say proof is needed that Xuanji’s effort in the relationship matches Sifeng’s. In that case, the important part is looking at what they sacrifice in a relative scope instead of an absolute one.

The things that Sifeng sacrifices are astronomical. He climbs a tower blustering with an eternal blizzard and puts on the Lovers' Curse mask. He stands right in the middle of the conflict between humans and demons even though there’s no way humans will spare him. He gets stabbed…a lot. But everything he does is a result of his own will and careful calculations—they’re all things he knows he can take responsibility for.

Sifeng's major flaw is that he's a massive liar. He's not right to lie, but he's also right to be scared about what would happen if he doesn't. As a demon, he knows what happens to anyone who isn't distinctly human. That's why he conceals his identity from Xuanji.

Then, once he discovers that Xuanji is also the reincarnation of the Star of Mosha, his fear is ignited again for her sake. Xuanji has almost always been defined by what she is, not who. She's berated for being useless when she doesn’t have her six senses. The moment she’s revealed to have the God of War's power, suddenly everyone finds her more than useful. If she's publicly revealed to be the Star of Mosha, then she'd be killed without question, and the person that is “Xuanji” will also cease to exist. Just as he doesn’t want Xuanji to view him and as anything other than himself, Sifeng doesn't want anyone else to view Xuanji as anyone other than herself. That's also why out of everyone, the one person he must keep the Star of Mosha secret from is Xuanji herself.

When Sifeng's lies begin to unfold, Xuanji is left to handle the mess he's inadvertently created. Suddenly discovering that he's a demon and also protective of the demon that possibly murdered her mother, Xuanji is torn. Her wavering faith in him isn't because of his identity, but because he lied to her.

Zi Hu: Do you dislike it that much, that [Sifeng] is a demon? Xuanji: Should I not? Zi Hu: Well, you healed my wounds. And you’re friends with me and Ting Nu, a merman. As for little Sifeng, he’s not a malicious demon who harms people. I don’t think he was aware of what went on with Tianxu Hall and Lize Palace. Xuanji: That’s different! He shouldn’t have lied to me. He’s the person I trust the most. But he even kept from me who he is. Then, all the things he told me and did with me in the past…what part of it all was real and what was fake? Zi Hu: What’s real and what’s fake? Can’t you just drag him over here and ask him? If he’s a scumbag, just kill him. But if there’s any misunderstandings, the two of you should clear them up. Resolve them and see what solutions there are. When two people are together, the scariest thing is misunderstanding one another for no reason. If you lose each other, that might be the end, forever. You’d regret that. 

And then she eventually does try to kill him. Good going, Zi Hu.

Xuanji's main conflict in the latter half of the drama is that she wants to find a solution that satisfies everyone, an impossible dilemma. Everyone starts pressuring her to lead the charge against the demons. It's her duty as the God of War, isn't it? Oh, but if she doesn't want to, it's because she's in love with the enemy. But she can't be in love with the enemy. She's the God of War, after all.

That’s the duplicitous world that Xuanji lives in. Yet, without knowing why he's been dishonest or what else he could be lying about, she still chooses to believe in Sifeng—even if it means being treated as a traitor herself and being further guilt-tripped. She's bound to her duty, family, and the expectations that come along with that. Going against them in any capacity is a challenge to her entire livelihood and the moral standards imposed on her. If you take that into account, suddenly the things that she risks don’t pale in comparison what Sifeng does for her.

As an omniscient audience, it's easy for us to say that she doesn't do enough, that she should know better. It's an interesting thought experiment to wonder what else she could do in such a situation. Her boyfriend lies to her. She believes he has a reason, believes in him when he tells her to trust him. She defends him repeatedly to people who don't even care to listen unless it's to interrupt and call her crazy. She lies to her father that she'll devote herself to killing demons like Sifeng so they'll stop calling her crazy and threatening her. Then, when she goes to rescue Sifeng from Mingxia Cave, he's suddenly getting passive-aggressive with her: “oh, what does the mighty God of War need from a lowly demon like me that she deigns to talk to me?” Bro…if I were her, I might just ditch him in a fit of rage. That's how you want to play? Have fun turning into frozen poultry in this cave, then.

Obviously, more is going on behind the scenes that Xuanji is completely unaware of. Sifeng almost dies from her fire magic that Hao Chen stole. The broken hairpin. And okay, I'll admit that her saying that she'll kill him while he's eavesdropping outside is not a great look. But come on, Sifeng. Where have your critical thinking skills gone? If you can lie, don’t you think Xuanji can too? And after all that, she still instinctively shields him from her father’s sword.

Sifeng. In this case, I do have to criticize you in a serious manner. Do you have any idea how hard it was for Xuanji to finally try to get herself stabbed for you, only for you to go “no, me” and get stabbed again? Do you have a sword-magnet in your chest?

Then Sifeng tells her that he’s never loved her and was only using her because he’s Luohou Jidu, the world's biggest villain. And she still can't bear to hurt him. When Xuanji discovers that Hao Chen has tricked her into using a so-called “Purifying Vase” to doom Sifeng to a painful death, she's furious:

Xuanji: For my own good? You want me to practice the Method of Love, but you also want me to be heartless. I can’t be so contradictory. Hao Chen: I told you to practice the Method of Love through feelings between you and me, not for you to continuously absorb yourself in your fixation on Sifeng! Xuanji, don’t forget. Our marriage is one determined by the heavens. It’s destiny. Xuanji: The heavens determine nothing. If they do, then why did they make Sifeng and I meet in our past nine lives? What a joke of the heavens. Hao Chen: So, you’d rather resign yourself to your doomed fate with that demon than stay properly by my side? Xuanji: Fate isn’t split into a virtuous or doomed one. I hate myself for loving Sifeng before, and we won’t ever be together again. But since I already gave him my love, I won’t take it back.

But of course, Hao Chen has more tricks up his Mary Poppins sleeves. He pulls out all the stops and uses his last breath to manipulate her into stabbing Sifeng. Oh my god. Look at all these trust issues, just making themselves readily available.

Her stabbing him is, how do you say, very bad. But let’s be honest, she’s seen him survive worse. I don't have a nifty conclusion is here, but basically, she subconsciously knows he'll get over it (physically, at least).

Of course, Sifeng is heartbroken. It's intensified by the tragic fate of his father. His father’s goal was always to protect Sifeng from the dangers posed by the racist five sects, led primarily by fabricated memories that his lover Hao Feng was driven to suicide by her own family. When Yuan Lang reveals the truth, that Hao Feng's fear of demons trumped her love for her husband, it’s intense foreshadowing of Sifeng and Xuanji’s relationship. Maybe Xuanji isn't like Hao Feng and she can cross the rift between humans and demons, meeting Sifeng in the middle. But finally, she still retreats, away from him. Her betrayal, now the tenth in all their lifetimes, leads Sifeng to leave behind some of the most truthful but hurtful words for Xuanji to deal with:

I finally understand why my fate turned out as it did in all my past nine lives. From beginning to end, you have always been a heartless person.

It’s not fair to ask Sifeng to keep considering Xuanji’s feelings under the brunt of her violent wrath. But just as she has no idea what he’s been doing to protect her, he has no idea what she’s been doing to protect him. Zi Hu is right again: nothing poses a greater danger to a couple than misunderstandings. And racism.

The ultimate resolution only occurs once Xuanji recovers the memories of their past lives. Congratulations, Sifeng. After a millennium of pining, your love has finally touched the heart of your beloved. Indeed, it might take a long time getting there, but love will find a way.

I love the short scenes that show the God of War and Xi Xuan's quiet but gentle relationship. Xi Xuan is the only one who cares that the God of War wants her own identity, then gives her a moment in which she doesn't have to wear her armor, just as Sifeng does everything in his power to let Xuanji be "Xuanji." Through all their lives, Sifeng is the one who recognizes her for who she is and wants to make her happy, even if she doesn't have a heart.

Activate: Xuanji, shameless mode. After Xuanji tracks down Sifeng in his solitude, they return to their days as teenagers. Xuanji acts like a fool in front of him, demanding his attention, and Sifeng only wants to get her the hell out of his house. It's not only a reminder of the times when things were a lot simpler, but also of how far they've come.

She intends on marrying Sifeng. Even if her father doesn't approve, she no longer cares. There's not enough time left in the world to hesitate about the people you love to satiate someone who can't be satisfied. Just as Sifeng upends his whole life for her, she's willing to do the same.

And as Sifeng is dying, Xuanji makes the ultimate decision to become the Star of Mosha. This isn't a reckless move done just to save him. Rather, her faith in Sifeng has strengthened into steel after all they've been through. Even if the world ends, she knows that a little bird with unshakable resolve will come get her. For two people who have spent most of their time as a pair of parallel lines, never to coincide, this is their point of intersection—a challenge that they'll face together, even if they're apart.

Sifeng: Xuanji, stop! I'd rather die than watch you become a devil for me! Xuanji: Sifeng, I can't consider all that now. I have to save you! Whether I be the Star of Mosha or the God of War, I don't care. I just need you to be okay. Sifeng. If I become Luohou Jidu, you absolutely can't forget me. Remember to bring me back! I cry during this scene. Then I immediately start laughing at Sifeng's gobsmacked expression once Luohou Jidu shows up. It just reads "but...my girlfriend..."

And Xuanji's right. Sifeng is the solution. No one else can save Luohou Jidu, the God of War, and the world by extension. Luohou Jidu's pain results from being betrayed purely because of his identity as a devil, but Sifeng becomes the confidante that Bai Lin pretended to be. The God of War's pain comes from having no self-identity, but Xi Xuan gives her the ability to seek one and accompanies her for a thousand years to help her find it. The suffering that Bai Lin set into motion would lead to a ceaseless cycle of revenge and a destruction of the world’s good due to its sins, but Sifeng alone convinces Luohou Jidu and the God of War that there's something in life worth keeping. But you have to fight for it, and persistently, because good things only come to those who are willing to chase after them.

Xuanji to Bai Lin: I won’t mess with someone else’s life so simply due to my own matters, even if that person is someone as despicable as you. Sifeng once said that using hate to obtain vengeance is an endless cycle. In this life, I already have something that matters more to me than that. I have no space to keep my hatred.

I know it can sound cheesy to say that the best revenge is living a happy life. But Love and Redemption can convert even the most insistent of cynics—me, for example. People will practice evil whether or not there’s a reason for it and whether or not those consequences will ripple out into a tsunami that will engulf the world. Only true, honest love can hope to settle the uneasy sea. It’s why Zi Hu gives Wu Zhiqi something to live for other than war. It’s why Linglong and Minyan have a reason to persist alongside one another. It's why Luohou Jidu gives his heart and life to Sifeng. It’s why Sifeng is able to save Xuanji. It's why the three realms are blessed with the chance to keep finding a reason to persist.

Sifeng and Xuanji’s story is a journey of overcoming all odds; of learning to love someone unconditionally not because it’s easy, but because you want to; of letting that love grow into a ray of hope in the world. Yes, if we let it, love wins all.

Sifeng: Your heart has become one of flesh and blood. It couldn’t bear to destroy the three realms. Because…it’s a heart that I held and warmed in my hands, bit by bit.

[sapphoshands]

hey, it's my birthday! do you know what i would like for my birthday? comments! or alternately, if anyone wants me to do a DVD commentary-type breakdown of a fic/sections of a fic, that would be fun as well. check out my most recent stuff below or look at everything on ao3.

agatha all along

you open always petal by petal myself (agatha/rio; E)

rio and agatha and all the things you can do with broomsticks.

Rabbit Heart (señor scratchy, billy, rio, agatha, herb; T)

post-finale: what happens to scratchy?!?

Lulled in these flowers with dances and delight (agatha/rio; E)

two girls, some bondage, and centuries of antagonism: can i make it any more obvious?

a hundred miles through the desert repenting (agatha(/rio); T)

an alternate take on agatha's trial and punishment.

baby, tell me how bad you want it to sting (agatha/rio; E)

a little bit of hair porn. also some pain.

wheel of time (selected)

you give it all away (liandrin/lanfear(/moiraine); M)

lanfear explores liandrin's dreams.

greet each overture (moiraine/liandrin; M)

the liandrin/moiraine backstory we all needed.

when the time comes to let it go (moiraine/siuan; E)

a brief interlude at the hut in tear.

sweetbitter unmanageable creature (moiraine/siuan; T)

it's about the yearning.

how time advances (moiraine(/siuan); E)

moiraine, on the road, thinks about siuan.

and many more stories, mostly about women, here. would love to hear your thoughts or to share more of mine (if you want a DVD commentary, drop a chunk of text or a link into my ask box).

[ambriel-angstwitch]

My Commentary on Tim Drake: Robin

Because it’s my blog and I can do what I want

Starting off strong with the panel that made TimKon shippers go crazy

Ahhh! I love them calling eachother the Batfam it makes me happy

Then look at how small Bart looks

Small boy

A couple commentaries not connected to any particular panel but I adore the art style and I’m so happy Tim and Stephanie worked things out.

But I think Tim might have a type

TimKon shippers, TimBern Shippers and Platonic Tim and Steph fans somehow all got fed with this Pride Comic

People say Jason is the book nerd when Tim Spends this whole story recognizing and remembering the plots of detective novel not to mention he recognizes that he lost four books and figured which ones they are not to mention just the collection of book he treats like his most precious items. Like I acknowledge Jason and Jane Austen and love it but he should not be the only one joked about being a book nerd.

These clone escue thingys show up and Tim’s thoughts about them are so interesting.

I adore that even as he’s fighting them he’s saying praise for all of them, though he’s got the most for Dick. And the first read through I thought he didn’t compliment Jason and that made me sad.

Close up on Damian’s because you can’t really see it in the full page pic and the my baby brother just really got to me. I am very susceptible to Batfam moments

But Gosh even knowing they’re not his actual family it’s got to hurt to hear them confirm all his worst fears of never measuring up.

Well like father like son I guess. It’s not like Batman hasn’t figured out how to take down almost any hero he meets.

Little does Bernard know.

I love the TimBern in this. Their relationship is still developing, it’s clear that Bernard is comfortable in it from the start of the volume but Tim has his doubts of where they stand, of whether this is a good idea because he’s just dragging Bernard into his mess. But Bernard has his own messes and struggles and they can just be with eachother through all that

Tim. Timmy boy. That’s not a good thing. You should learn how to have some more self preservation, just because your family are all self sacrificing doesn’t mean it’s the healthy way to be.

Why is Superboy’s biggest fan what Tim finally responds to? Also why does Bernard call him that? Is Tim talking about him all the time? Also I love that Bernard calls him his boy wonder once again little does he know. (This is another scene I’ve seen TimKon fans go crazy for)

That’s the last picture on this post as I’ve hit the limit but the book was very good! I loved the villian, loved how they explored Tim. Love the Tim Bern. Tim coming to the realization that it’s ok not to know who he is yet is amazing. He’s figuring things out and that’s ok.

[cindol]

“ QUANXI GF HCS ! ”

request : Hi! You said you take requests? I don’t use tumblr often so idk if I’m requesting in the right place, I think you already recently did one about Quanxi but could you make more similar Quanxi x reader post? Or just some of your Quanxi headcanons?(*'▽'*)

quanxi x fem reader

﹒.ᐟ 𐚁 cw— non devil au if that makes sense, Quanxi and reader are in their early 20s, pet names (baby, sweetheart, princess), fluff,

a/n : just a lil side note, requests are easier when you use the inbox underneath my bio y’all and anyone new to tumblr ! But i hope u enjoy dear user

Let’s make one thing clear, Quanxi isn’t the type of partner you have to ask to do sweet couple things. Sometimes out of the blue when watching a movie with her she’ll ask what’s your dream trip or dream date and it’s one and done just when you don’t expect it.

It’s a shock when she gives a simple text like "we're going on a date 2nite.” and another big shock when she takes you to your dream movie date with just emptiness except the sounds of you both giggling and doing commentary on the comedy movie playing.

“How’d you even pull the strings to get this done for me babe?” Quanxi would just respond with shrugging shoulders.“I have my ways, just enjoy the movie baby.”

Quanxi isn’t shy to the camera, she will gladly let you show her off on any social media account. If it’s Instagram stories she’s waving to the camera and giving you a subtle surprise kiss making you gasp. She’s not very active on social media either but always comments positive sweet comments under mainly your Instagram comment section.

It’s surprising to those who don’t know her but she’s big on petnames with you, always calling you babe, baby or sweetheart just so casually. It catches you off guard too hearing her say a pet name in such a smith soothing voice and she knows the effect it has on you that’s why she did it. She liked walking up behind you when you’re so in your own world just to whisper,“hey sweetheart.” in your ear making you gasp and turn around whining at her teasing.

Quanxi isn’t one of those insecure men who don’t like their girlfriend feeling confident, she believes and she knows she’s much better than that. When you look pretty in a nice skirt she lets you know you look pretty. Pulling you by the hips and sniffing your neck makes you giggle.“I’m a tasty snack or something quanxi?”

She just hummed and kept sniffing you, pulling you closer and closer.“the tastiest.”

She doesn’t shy from affection either and even loves giving it back, from the soft kisses she gives you on your neck to sitting you on her lap. Sometimes she likes to be handsy with you too, groping your ass at random when just laying down with you on a shared bed, making you giggle.“ ‘xi you’re so..handsy today y’know?” she would just continue groping you now with both hands copping a feel of both your cheeks while you lay sighing and snickering at how she didn’t respond back.

Quanxi cares more about you than herself more than she should, she believes you come first over anything and is a big sharer with you. If the both of you are at some cafe or restaurant sharing food for two she’ll always let you take the last bite or last sip of the Sunday smoothie. In the mornings she’ll have you waking up coming downstairs to the smell of blueberry pancakes topped with powdered sugar. Even when you show concern if she’s gonna eat she just smiles it off.“I’m sure I’ll conjure something up sweetheart, just eat yeah? Cooked my ass off whipping the batter for those.” Even still you shared her pancakes with her.

Quanxi is always there to make sure you’re feeling good too and that means mentally too, if you just look zoned out and out of it she’ll make sure to tend to you, laying you down and really asking if you’re okay.

Quanxi loves when you take care of her too, she finds it adorable when she has a robe on just watching you from the bedroom with the door open as you make a bath for her. She always wants to be sharing something with you at least so she makes you get into the bath with her to bathe with her. You barely wash at first, just staring at your girlfriend with her white hair down without it’s ponytail and her right eye not having the usual black eye patch.

It’s just nice to see her so relaxed with her arms sitting on the ledges of the tub. You and quanxi always wash one another in the tub too, with quanxi washing your body and you squeezing some shampoo into her hair.

Quanxi will fight for you, she could care less if someone is speaking about her but what she won’t respect is someone calling you out your name. If some man is trying to call you some kind of bitch or a word similar to that in public she's immediately turning around with you interlinking your arm with hers and a passive aggressive smile on her face.“pardon?”

When this man stutters just standing around scratching his head she scoffs chuckling.”what I fuckin thought.,” and walking off with you pouting and scolding her.

[knottedhearts]

Streams. C.Sturniolo

Disclaimer: There will be NO smut with any Sturniolo writings, partially bc I'm gay 😭. Just fluff.

As the stream kicked off, Chris and Y/n sat side-by-side, both focused on the game but sharing the occasional laugh and inside joke. They worked seamlessly as a team, with Y/n providing witty commentary while Chris managed to balance gameplay and reading the chat. Then, someone in the chat sent a question that quickly snowballed, with more and more people typing it out:

“Wait, is Y/n Chris’s girlfriend?”

Chris glanced over, smirking as he read the question. “Oh, you guys want to know about that, huh?” He shot a playful look at Y/n, who immediately went wide-eyed, laughing nervously as the chat started spamming heart emojis and eyes emojis.

“Oh, stop it, Chris,” Y/n said, trying to keep her voice steady. “Focus on the game.”

But Chris wasn’t letting it go that easily. Leaning a bit closer to her, he grinned, “Well, I mean, she’s kinda my favorite person to be around. Wouldn’t you all agree?” He tilted his head toward her, his voice dropping just a little. “I mean, how could I not like her?”

The chat exploded. Messages flew by like, “OMG DID HE JUST SAY THAT?” and “CHRIS YOU’RE MAKING HER BLUSH.���

Y/n’s cheeks turned a soft pink as she rolled her eyes, laughing, “Chris, you’re going to start rumors.”

“Oh, but aren’t rumors just… a little bit true sometimes?” he replied with a wink, keeping his gaze on her for a few seconds longer than usual. The chat’s response? Absolute mayhem. Messages like “HE’S SO SMOOTH!” and “GET TOGETHER ALREADY!” filled the screen, and even some “SHIPPING THIS SO HARD!” comments slipped in.

“Okay, okay, let’s calm down,” Y/n said, waving her hands as if to quiet the chat but clearly trying to hide a smile. “You all heard nothing. We’re just good friends… right, Chris?”

Chris chuckled, giving her a teasing nudge. “Oh, I don’t know, Y/n. Maybe we’ll just leave them guessing.” He shot one last look at the camera, his smile practically a promise that this wouldn’t be the last time the chat got a little surprise. The chat erupted again, filling the screen with declarations of “CUTEST STREAM EVER!”

As the chat continued to flood with heart emojis and shipping comments, Chris leaned back with a playful sigh, glancing at Y/n with that signature smirk.

“Oh, man,” he said, shaking his head with a laugh, “I can already see the edits coming from this. Like, people are going to turn this whole stream into a full-on love story.”

Y/n covered her face, laughing as the chat went wild again. “STOP, CHRIS!” she said, half-laughing, half-groaning, trying to play it cool despite her blush. “You’re just giving them more material!”

Chris shrugged, looking back at the camera with a glint in his eye. “I mean, can you blame them? With moments like these…” He let his voice trail off, giving her a playful wink that had the chat absolutely exploding with messages like “HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE’S DOING!” and “THEY’RE SO CUTE TOGETHER!”

Y/n laughed, shaking her head. “Well, great. Now I’m going to see romantic edits all over my feed.”

“Oh, come on, Y/n, you’ll love it,” Chris teased. “Let’s be real, they’ll probably even get the perfect soundtrack for it and everything.”

The chat agreed wholeheartedly, with messages like “WE GOT YOU COVERED!” and “EDITORS, ASSEMBLE!” filling the screen. And as Chris threw one last flirty look her way, the stream practically buzzed with excitement, already anticipating the edits.

As the stream continued, the chat popped up with a new question: “Y/n, what’s your favorite edit?” The question quickly gained momentum as fans flooded the chat with curiosity, and soon Chris noticed too.

“Ohhh, Y/n! They’re asking about your favorite edit,” he said, smirking as he turned toward her. “Come on, let’s hear it.”

Y/n grinned, clearly excited. “Okay, you know that edit where the song’s like, ‘Save your tears, honey, you’re a motherf*ing DIVA’?” She leaned back, laughing. “Yeah, that one. And it’s Nick in the edit, of course.”

Chris burst out laughing, clapping his hands. “Oh my god, that edit is legendary! I should’ve known that would be your favorite.”

The chat instantly went wild, flooding with “YESSS DIVA NICK!”, “THAT SONG HITS DIFFERENT!”, and “WE STAN A DIVA!”

Y/n chuckled, nodding. “I mean, it’s everything—the song, the attitude, Nick’s whole vibe. It’s just perfect.”

Chris leaned in with a grin. “You know, the editors are totally going to make more of those now, just for you.”

The chat buzzed with excitement as fans promised to create even more edits with that energy, while Y/n and Chris laughed at the chaos they’d started.

[iamumbra195]

MY favourite bleach head canons in no particular order

1. the idea that all shinigami in gigai give off uncanny valley vibes

Basically like Isshin, whose not quite human but not quite shinigami, meets some of Ichigo’s friends when he was a kid like Tatsuki and she obviously met his mom before and she was nice so she wasn’t expecting much from his dad and then she meets him and her first reaction is ‘what the fuck is that???’

The kurosaki kids, who have grown up with their dad and have pretty high levels of reiatsu, don’t actually realize this while their human friends just instinctually avoid Isshin ‘cause they feel like something’s off about him

of course over time and with extended exposure to Ichigo’s reiatsu, the weirdness kinda fades away but anyone outside of Ichigo’s circle generally avoids all the shinigami that come to Karakura in gigai for those reasons

2. all animals hate shinigami except cats and crows

literally for no reason besides the fact that I like them

I love the idea of shinji with his creepy ass smile just perched on top of a telephone pole and if he stays still long enough, crows will start sitting on him XD

I also have cats that I love and I love the idea of Ichigo just chilling on his bed with an orange cat and doing the purring thing with it while he’s sleeping

And then when he goes to a pet store with Rukia because she wants to see bunnies, all the animals go ballistic anf they get kicked out XD

3. the visored + ichigo with animalistic traits

laying down on hot things because it feels nice on their skin and soothes something in their lizard brains

eyes that flash hollow yellow when they feel intense emotion (inspired the scene in the anime where Aizen says that hollowification is faster when agitated so emotions heavily affect their appearance

I like the idea that they get very tactile with people they care about (not in a romantic way) and they get into little wrestling matches over stupid stuff because that’s they’re idea of playing and bonding

Shinji gives cat vibes, you can’t even tell me he doesn’t just look at him. When cats make eye contact as they push something off the table- that’s him

I also really like the idea of the hollowification affecting their zanpakuto. Given that Ichigo was pretty much born with his hollow, he doesn’t notice the different the way the Visored do 

Shinji’s whole standing upside down and reversing the gravity on himself, I like the idea that it came after his hollowification and if he wishes he can do it to others

Idk if there’s any jjk manga readers her but you know that attack kenjaku has where he makes you feel like you’re falling but you’re not really? He does it to Yuji a few times when he’s fighting mahito and I love the idea of Shinji having that ability, just completely fucking up their sense of reality and direction

I haven’t thought of the other visored abilities but from my other AU that I will never write, I mentioned that Kaien was hollowified as well so I love the idea of him just being completely obsessed with everything water related and having an affinity for any water type kido and being able to control minor amounts of water without actually drawing Nejibana and being able to breath under water

4. all zanpakuto spirits do commentary in their weilders head

but only ppl like Ichigo and Toushiro who have incredibly powerful spirits that they can literally talk to in the middle of a fight can actually hear

Like Zabimaru, haineko, and all the other zanpakuto are just constantly making fun or nitpicking the way their weilder uses them

But Ichigo is the only one who has to suffer through Zangetsu (Shiro) cackling in his head while Toushiro gets useful feedback and Ichigo’s just completely done with him

a sadder headcanon: all zanpakuto spirits talk to their weilders regularly however, the Visored because of their own fear of their hollowification have estranged themselves from their zanpakuto spirits and like Shiro is hostile with Ichigo in canon, the others are like ten times worse

5. If Ichigo every actually seals his zanpakuto, he’d be incredibly sensitive to reiatsu (I forgot to add this one the first time and I didn’t wanna make another post XD)

I personally love this little explanation of Ichigo’s powers and you know how Ichigo is just really shitty at sensing reiatsu at the beginning? Shinji commented on it a couple times and seemed pretty confused by it.

I think that part of the reason why he’s so bad at it-- especially after the SS arc ‘cause remember he was actually pretty good at sensing back then-- is because after he achieved Bankai, Hollow Zangetsu was in control rather than OMZ and with that switch in power came a significant uptick in his own reiatsu to the point where Ichigo actually feels like he’s being crushed by his own power and he can feel how close Shiro is for the first time and he’s actually scared of his own power

Hiyori even comments about how he’s scared of his own bankai because the distance between him and Shiro decreases everytime he gets stronger since Shiro gets stronger with him

Anyways, we’re not devolving into an analysis about Ichigo and Shiro but eventually Ichigo learns how to sense things properly even with his own reiatsu

So when he finally seals Zangetsu and he’s no longer covered by his own power because it’s finally sealed, he’s gonna be sensing things so much stronger and get sensory overload only it’s ✨reiatsu sensitivity✨

6. Souls in the Society age until they find an appearance both they and their reiatsu level is comfortable with (Another one because I’m an idiot and I forgot)

Excluding Toushiro’s weird case of appearanc shifting but I guess that could be attributed to his bankai’s weirdness that I don’t know much about

I don’t think we’ve gotten on actual explanation on how souls age so I’ve decided to apply this hc

Basically the reason why ppl like Unohana, who looks incredibly similar to herself from a thousand years ago, the only difference being how much less sinister she looks and how calm she looks

Plus, all the characters from the Turn back the pendulm arc barely changing over a hundred years is wild

I initially thought of it as comparing every decade a soul lives to ever year a human lives but that didn’t feel right so I chose this