#i love a good emotional brutalization to go with a physical one
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foundfamilywhump · 3 months ago
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whumper who weaponizes whumpee’s insecurities to break them down emotionally, to make them easier to manipulate or even just for fun, to see them hurt. make them cry.
reminding whumpee of the parent(s) who hurt them. the friend who betrayed them. the team who kicked them out. dredging up the sources of their beliefs that they won’t matter to anyone, that their pain, their suffering, their life is nothing anyone would care about.
taunting them: who’s coming for you? even if you got away/told someone what’s happening, what would be the point? go ahead. we’ve already called them, they say good riddance. we could put an ad out in the paper, broadcast it online and no one would lift a finger in your name. you’re free for the taking. anyone could do anything to you. just face it: you’re a defenceless target.
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killerpancakeburger · 3 months ago
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Well-placed Trust
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As soldiers unpromptedly walk in on a maskless Ghost and you, your solution to protect his face is to shove it in your chest.
Tags: f!reader (boobs involved), civilian!reader, protective!reader, fluff + smut, Praise, Ghost is a menace (positive), boobs worship, 1k words.
Gaining Simon Riley's trust was not something you ever planned to achieve. However, now that you've had it, you were fiercely protective of it.
This would explain why, when you heard the door to Ghost's room randomly opening, and your eyes flew to the skull mask laying on his desk— barely a meter away but it might as well have been on the other side of the ocean—, your first instinct was to launch yourself at him. Bluntly shoving his face into your chest without warning, in hopes to conceal it from the newly arrived trespassers, and wrapping your arms around his head in a desperate attempt to hide his hair as well.
Nevermind that he's trapped right between your breasts.
You throw a mildly accusatory stare at the entrance, and coarse laughs ring out, followed by a barely believable apology.
“Oops, sorry. Wrong door. Didn’t mean to interrupt!”
You let out a relieved sigh as the door closes. However said relief is quick to vanish as you realize Simon hasn’t reacted at all this whole time. Not a word, not even a grunt; not a move, not even to repel you. 
You let go of him like you've been burnt, even raising your hands in surrender.
“Sorry! Are you mad? I panicked, I was just trying to—”
Your waterfall of apologies brutally ceases when, after attempting to back away, you're stopped short by his embrace. You don’t know when he wrapped his arms around your waist. His expression still out of sight, anxiety nags at you, despite the logical part of your mind emphasizing that if he was actually angry, there's no way he'd demonstrate it by hugging you. 
So you insists.
“Ghost?”
“Mmh.”
The sound is raspy, unbothered. He idly rubs his face against your torso, and the motion is enough to make your crotch throbs with arousal. Inhaling sharply at the unexpected sensation, you clench your thighs together.
“Simon,” you call again, trying to sound severe this time.
You have absolutely zero reservation in granting all the hugs he might crave, but surely they could be performed in a less… compromising position. Lest you end this cuddle session squirming with want. And a burning face. And the imperative need to never cross the lieutenant ever again, for fear that you'd spontaneously combust with mortification otherwise.
“‘M not mad.“
The gruff, familiar voice appeases your tension a little— the emotional one, that is. Not the physical one.
“You're not? You have a right to b—”
“I trust you.”
Your heart skips a beat at the confession. You suspected it, hoped for it— but hearing it out loud is another matter entirely. Simon Riley is a man of few words, but the ones he does pronounce are always sincere, to the point of bluntness. For him to feel the need to spell it out loud, it has to be important.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. You've put my comfort over yours, no questions asked. Couldn’t be more pleased, love.”
The gravel in his voice does funny things to your stomach— why, why, why? It never had that effect before.
You try to ignore the signals sent by your body, instead passing a hand behind your neck in self-consciousness. 
“Oh… well. It was nothing. I'd do it again in a heartbeat—”
“You've been so good to me, sweetheart. Don't ya think you deserve a reward?”
Your brain short-circuits. Your skin gets even warmer. Surely you misheard him.
He finally unsticks his face from your chest, resting his chin above your sternum, only to stare with the start of some impatience drowned out in warmth and fondness.
He's a vision, one that takes your breath away and causes heat to pool in your stomach.
Heavy-lidded eyes, disheveled hair, ardent stare, he's a languid, lascivious mess.
“I need an answer. Preferably in one word. Yes, no, fuck off…”
In other, normal circumstances, you would have stayed mute from the shock, or helplessly stuttered, but the imperative desire to not disappoint him, to preserve the contentment he displays, takes over.
“Fuck. Yes.”
The low chuckle that escapes him in reaction to the eagerness of your reply makes you bite back a moan. Your hands close into fists on the back of his shirt.
He lifts your shirt— "hold this for me, love"— and effortlessly frees your chest from your bra. The second your skin is bare, he presses his face back into it, nuzzling against it with a blissful sigh.
With one hand busy grasping your top, and the other clinging onto his shoulder for balance, there's nothing you can do but submit yourself to his ministrations.
It's your turn to sigh in pleasure as he proceeds to kiss an invisible line between the bottom and the top of your breast, fingers stroking the curve between your ribs and your nipple.
“Never dreamed you'd let me get my face on those, love.”
Groggy, it takes a conscious effort on your part to register what he's saying.
“Such a generous thing. It's only right you get payback.”
“You're very… talkative all of a sudden.”
“S'that a problem? Think I'm not putting my tongue to use enough?”
Right after that, said tongue swirl around your nipple and you can feel yourself clench around nothing.
“Or maybe that's just not your thing,” he adds, casually, as if he hadn’t been shamelessly gropping, kissing, licking and sucking your chest.
“I never said that.”
Your reply had been straight off, out of fear that he'd take offense and puts a stop to all this.
“You know what to do to shut me up, anyway.”
You don’t react to his provocative tone, but you’re tempted by the invitation nonetheless— to muffle that smart mouth with your bust…
Just as his focus on your breasts threatens to not suffice you anymore, his thumb insistantly rubbs the apex of your thighs, and you push back against it openly.
“Easy there, sweetheart,” he soothes you, but you can see how pleased he is by your eagerness. “M just gettin’ started.”
Soon enough he disposed of your pants, and he's parting your knees to nuzzle against your inner thigh the way he was against your chest mere moments ago. You can’t help but close them partially, and instantly he's staring you down, eyes brimming with taunt.
“Gonna smother me with your thighs, sweetheart? Like you did with your tits, mh? Better be prepared in case we get ‘interrupted’ again.”
“Fucking hell, Ghost,” you groan, half exasperated, half even more aroused, as he finally steers his head towards your crotch.
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lassieposting · 1 year ago
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Been thinking a lot lately about romanced Astarion post-spawn ending.
Because like. The Funnest™ thing about cptsd is how much of it gets delayed. When you're trapped in a lengthy, ongoing traumatic situation, you do not have the ability to process and start healing your mental wounds. Your brain and body go into survival mode, and all that matters in the moment is that you somehow cope with the horrors. He wouldn't have been able to even begin dealing with the physical, mental and emotional toll of two hundred years of torture, brutalization and dehumanization while he was under Cazador's control; he is in constant danger, surrounded by sharks in the water, and survival means not letting them smell blood. He can't afford to fall apart, to show weakness. He is shockingly functional and competent in-game, partly because he has to be to work as a game character, but also partly because...it do be like that, to some degree. When death, for whatever reason, is not an option, you just have to shut down and keep going. People adapt in order to survive, and when we learn that showing an "injury" (physical or psychological) only gets us punished, we learn to hide it.
Early-game Astarion is terrified - of Cazador, of Godey, of being hunted down by his siblings, of being staked or sold off at the first opportunity by Tav and the other companions, of turning into a mindflayer, of another painful transformation, of losing himself when he's only just regained his autonomy after two centuries, of what Cazador will do to him if he ever finds him - the man is overwhelmed by fear. He's on thin ice as a vampire, and he's not going to give them any more reason to want him gone. Survival instinct is still in control, and in this new situation, crafting some fragile safety for himself means not only selling his body for protection, but also being useful. Clear-headed. Good in a fight.
Endgame Astarion finds himself in a completely different situation. The time-sensitive overarching threats - Cazador and impending ceremorphosis - have been dealt with. He has a loving, supportive partner he's really starting to feel safe with - Tav/Durge has proved that they're on his side, that their affection is genuine, that they don't just want him for the one thing he's been told he's good for. They've told him they're going to help him find a workaround for his sun allergy. He's getting fed regularly. He has time to stop, and breathe, and just. Recuperate.
For the first time in 200 years, he is safe.
And it will probably take a while to catch up, during which time he will seem to be coping really well, but at some point, his brain is going to realise that he's safe, and it's going to finally start processing the sheer fucking horror he's been through. Since I haven't seen anyone talking about this particular fun aspect of cptsd, allow me to offer u some thoughts on issues Astarion and Tav might end up dealing with in the months/years postgame, during the
✨ Delayed Trauma Response ✨
Memory Gaps: Astarion realising, as he opens up to Tav, that there are entire years or decades of his life from which he has only a handful of memories. Great big blank stretches where he has no idea where he was, who he was with, what was happening to him. Some of the gaps cover years at a time where he was so dissociated and shut down that he just didn't retain any memories of what was going on around him. Some are shorter periods of particularly horrific torture that his brain has deliberately blocked out to protect him.
Recovered Memories: At some point, years into the future when he's done A Lot of healing, he might find that every now and then, a fragment of those lost memories will unexpectedly come back to him. He'll catch a particular scent on the breeze, or overhear a specific phrase in the street, or cross paths with someone whose face is oddly familiar, and he'll get a glimpse of an acute horror he'd filed neatly away where it couldn't hurt him anymore. He very rarely remembers all the context to those flashes of his past. He might recall that he was punished, but not what he was punished for, or he might remember words spoken by a greedy conquest, but be unable to recall the man's face.
Dissociation: Tav knows going into this relationship that Astarion has basically made an art out of dissociating during sex. They also know, from their shared encounter with the drow twins, that he's not great at enforcing his own boundaries - he'll always say he'll speak up and back out if he stops having fun, but in practice he rarely does; he's not used to having the option of saying no to his partner, and being punished if he tries. So they know there's going to be some practice and experimentation and negotiation necessary there, to figure out the rough limits of his comfort zone. But once he starts really processing, there may be days where he just checks out completely. Tav will touch his shoulder, and he'll startle and apologise - "Terribly sorry, darling, I was miles away for a moment there." And Tav will gently point out that he's been sat in the same spot vacantly staring into the middle distance for hours. They've been checking in on him occasionally and this is the first time he's responded. It's unsettling, to say the least.
Lost Time: Astarion was very young when he was turned, physically mature but emotionally juvenile. He was basically an overgrown teenager, in the phase of life where elves are just starting to learn who they are and what they want, and figure out their place in the world. But he never got to do that, because he spent his formative young adult years in a world where everyone became an abuser, where his only means of surviving was to smile and charm and obey while even his basic human dignity was stripped away. He learned that communication is based on manipulation. He learned that the powerful can do whatever they like to the weak. He learned an incredibly toxic, abusive way of life, and that was his family dynamic, his everyday life, for as long as he can remember. Now that he's free and safe, he's realising that the world doesn't actually work that way and that he's now far behind even shorter-lived races in social/emotional development. He's grieving for the person he could've been. He's grieving for the life he could've lived. He's grieving for all the years he already lost, and the ones he'll lose in the future as he flounders to catch up. A decent chunk of his life was stolen from him, and that's time he will never get back.
Flashbacks & Night Terrors: Specifically the kind where your brain convinces you that an injury you had a long time ago is actually an injury you have (or are receiving) right now. There are nights where he'll wake Tav in a panic, because his back feels like it's on fire, he can feel every freshly-carved wound dripping blood and he's in so much pain he doesn't know what else to do. If Tav looks, they see nothing out of the ordinary - old, long-healed scars, same as always. But the pain and the fear and the distress are all very real to him, and all they can do is try to comfort him, cover his back with cool damp cloths or healing salves, remind him he's safe now and they're not leaving him.
Boundary Shifting: Sometimes, Tav can come up and hug him from behind, and he'll melt into them a little bit and go all soft and happy. Other times, he might flinch away or go rigid at the same gesture. A lot of the time, it really depends on how he's feeling on the day, but at least a little bit of it is deliberate - he's pushing to find the limit of just how much autonomy Tav is willing to give him. He wants to know at what point they'll stop respecting his "no". Will they accept it if he doesn't want a hug? If he wants to sleep in his own room tonight? At what point will understanding turn to anger at being rejected? From the drow twins four/fivesome, we also know he's got a tendency to push his own boundaries, and jump into things he's actually not ready for, and Tav would be the one holding his hand through the fallout as he tries to figure out what his own boundaries even are.
Frustration! So, so much frustration. He wants to be Over It already. He wants to move past everything that ever happened to him and never think about it again. He hates that Cazador still has a grip on him, even in death - he doesn't want to give the bastard the satisfaction of dwelling on all his punishments, his cruelties. Sometimes, that frustration is going to explode outwards at Tav - he'll get angry at them for coddling him, or find something small to start a fight over, or he'll set an unreasonable boundary and try to defend it because he's still learning what healthy boundaries look like. Sometimes, it will implode inwards, and that won't be about Tav at all, but they'll get the brunt of it all the same - it might come out as self-loathing or self-punishment, and he'll react by doing something stupid, like trying to drive them away, because having a secure, relatively healthy relationship is terrifying and the instinct is to destroy it before Tav can. There will be yelling and angry tears and deeply unhealthy coping mechanisms, and they'd have to work through that. Trauma is ugly, and Astarion is right at the beginning of a very long journey towards healing.
Abandonment Issues: Astarion wants the relationship to be one between equals, but he's kind of got Tav on a pedestal all the same. They saved him. They helped him get rid of Cazador for good. They chose him and love him despite a wealth of better (in his eyes) options, and all his baggage. They stayed with him even when he has very little to offer them. We know his vanity and obnoxious self-absorption is a fragile attempt to obscure the fact that his self-esteem is in the dirt and he has virtually no self-worth, and there are a couple of occasions in-game where it becomes clear that he's afraid of losing the one person who somehow considers him lovable. After seeing Sebastian and all the other conquests, he begs Tav not to hate him, saying that he did what he had to. If he has a rival for Tav's affections, and Tav informs him that they broke up with the rival to be with Astarion, he's shocked and the first thing out of his mouth is, "You ended things with them for me? Why?" And if Durge tries to break up with him for his own safety, his facade drops and he immediately asks if he did something wrong. So while he's not afraid to argue with Tav, if something happens - like an angry outburst - that upsets or angers them, and he thinks he's at risk of losing that one steady, stable person in his life, he might well cling and overcompensate to try and repair what he thinks is a fracture in their relationship. He'll fawn or beg or crawl into Tav's bed to "apologise" and "make it up to them" because, well, very occasionally it worked on Cazador. With patience and good communication and lots of repeatedly driving the lesson home to overcome 200 years of education to the contrary, he will eventually start to believe that "I'm really pissed off at you right now," does not equate to, "You are the worst mistake I've ever made and I am leaving you."
Panic Attacks: I feel like honestly he'd get some symptoms of these on a fairly regular basis, but he's never been given any option other than just trying to power through them. He's used to realising he's shaking, he's used to feeling like he's watching himself from outside his body, or like he can't breathe even though he doesn't need to. He's very familiar with the sickening fear in his gut, so intense it makes his head spin. He's not used to being comforted or reassured about them - he thinks they're normal. Tav disagrees.
Anyway, cptsd is messy and complicated and often looks very different from person to person so these will not represent everyone's but these are just some ideas for what the ongoing recovery process might make them work through, based on the aspects I'm most familiar with.
Projecting? Who's projecting? I'm not projecting. Shut up.
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moonxknightx · 4 months ago
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♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ : UNTIL THE END : :;
╰┈➤ ❝ [PAIRING] ❞ Logan Howlett x Old!F!Reader
・❥・GENRE: Angst. Straight up angst
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆FANDOM: X-Men
ੈ✩‧₊˚ WARNINGS: Major Character Death, Grief and Loss, Emotional Distress, Themes of Loneliness, Angst
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥SUMMARY: One thing about not growing old, is seeing your loves ones die. Or rather, you pass away in Logan's arms from old age, despite his desperate pleas for you to stay. As you slip away peacefully, Logan is left devastated, forced to endure the pain of immortality without you by his side.
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THE AIR WAS THICK WITH THE SCENT OF PINE, the distant howling wind gently brushing through the broken windows of the cabin. It was a small place, hidden deep in the wilderness, away from the chaos of the world. For years, it had been a sanctuary, a place for quiet moments, and the life you had built alongside Logan. But time had a way of catching up, even in the deepest woods, and now... you could feel it slipping away.
You lay in bed, wrapped in an old quilt, the weight of your own frailty pressing against your chest. Each breath was a struggle, shallow and painful. The once strong hands that used to wield weapons and patch up Logan after every brutal fight now trembled with age. You had always been his anchor, the one person who could calm the storm that raged inside him. But now, it felt as though the storm was about to outlast you.
He sat beside you, his rugged face etched with lines of grief that mirrored his age. His rough, calloused hand gently held yours, the warmth of his skin grounding you in these last moments. His eyes, those fierce, stormy eyes that had seen centuries of bloodshed and sorrow, softened as they locked onto yours.
“I don’t want you to go,” Logan’s voice broke, raw and uneven. His other hand, trembling despite his strength, brushed a strand of your gray hair away from your face.
You gave him a weak smile, a small attempt at comforting him, even as your body betrayed you. “Logan… I’ve lived a long life. Longer than I ever imagined.” Your voice was raspy, the effort to speak draining the little energy you had left. “You’ve kept me safe, kept me loved. That’s more than I could have asked for.”
His grip tightened around your hand as though he could hold you here through sheer willpower alone. But he knew better. The world had taken too much from him already. Every friend, every lover, every semblance of family—gone. You had been the last piece of goodness he’d managed to hold onto in a life soaked with violence. You were the one who made him feel human again. And now… even you were slipping through his fingers.
“Please,” Logan’s voice cracked, breaking through the tough exterior he always tried to hold. His heart was in his throat. “Don’t leave me. I can’t—I can’t lose you too.”
Your eyes fluttered shut for a moment, the weariness pulling you under. The darkness was so tempting, so peaceful, but you forced yourself to stay with him a little longer. Just a little longer.
“Logan…” you whispered, your voice barely above a breath, “You were always so strong… so stubborn. You’ll… you’ll be okay without me.”
He shook his head violently, anger and sorrow mixing in his chest, making it hard to breathe. “I won’t,” he growled. “You don’t get it. You’re the only good thing I’ve ever had.” His voice grew softer, broken. “Don’t leave me here alone.”
Your heart ached, not from the physical pain, but from the sorrow in his voice. You wanted to stay, wanted to tell him everything would be okay. But you both knew better. There was no stopping this. Death was as relentless as time.
“I’m tired, Logan,” you admitted, your voice barely more than a sigh now. Your hand slipped from his, and he immediately caught it again, holding onto it as though it were his lifeline. “I’ll always be with you… right here.” You reached up slowly, painfully, placing your hand over his chest, feeling the solid, familiar beat of his heart beneath your palm.
Logan lowered his head, his forehead resting against yours as he clutched your hand to his chest. His breath was hot against your skin, ragged and filled with grief.
“I don’t… I don’t know how to do this without you,” he whispered, his words filled with the weight of centuries of loneliness. He’d been alone before—he knew that life all too well. But the thought of returning to that now, after knowing the warmth of you, felt unbearable.
“I know you do,” you murmured, your voice fading as you blinked up at him, your vision swimming. “You’ve… always been stronger than you know.” You offered him a small smile, though it was weak, more of a ghost of the expression that used to light up his world. “I’ll be waiting… somewhere… someday.”
His breath hitched, and he held you tighter, his hand cupping your face, his thumb brushing away a tear that had escaped your tired eyes. “You’ll wait for me?” His voice was hoarse, desperate.
You nodded, your eyes drifting shut. “Always…” you whispered. “I’ll be… right… here…”
Your breath stilled. The weight of your hand went limp in his, and your chest no longer rose or fell.
“No,” Logan choked, his voice shattering in the silence of the room. “No, no, no… please…”
He pulled you close, burying his face in your hair, trying to will you back to life, trying to make time stop. His breath came in ragged, broken sobs as he held you to his chest, the weight of his immortality pressing down on him like a curse.
“I can’t do this without you,” he whispered into the quiet, his voice shaking, his chest hollow and aching. “Come back… please… come back…”
But the only response was the cold silence of the room, the echo of his words fading into the emptiness.
And there, in that small cabin in the woods, Logan held you, the woman he loved more than anything, his heart breaking as the storm inside him raged on, relentless and unforgiving.
He was alone. Again.
And this time, the pain felt like it would never end.
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🏷️: @twinky-wink @fidgetingbee @astarions-girl-dinner @layladestiny8 @birdy-bat-writes @h0n3y-l3m0n05
If you want to be added to the tag list, let me know! 🫶
Also who needs therapy after reading this? Because i DEFINITELY need it after writing this
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knowyourplace-fool · 3 months ago
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Umm, I loved bully gojo and 2 , what happened after he kidnapped her and yknow , non conned her , like is he just obsessed with her , ORRRR , is he obsessed with her aaanndd IN LOVE with her ? Will he force her to be his girlfriend and future wife. Will she try to pick herself up and make a good life for self even though gojo literally exists. Hmmmmmmmm???? Idk but anwyas that story atteee . Stay sexy , ..sexy 🥰💓
⚠️: NON CON, Kidnapping, Mean!Gojo, physically, mental and emotional abuse, manhandling, bullying, biting, groping, size difference, pregnancy sex
-> THIS IS REALLY DARK AND FUCKED UP PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK !
-> Idk why but everyone ate that Gojo fic up for some reason😭
-> part 1
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Oh boy, he is more than obsessed with you
You made it too easy for him
With your family being out of the picture and you having quite literally 0 friends
Isolating you… well you already did that to yourself
Your reputation at school burned to the ground the moment he decided to leak your sex tape
So there’s no going back to uni
He handed in a resignation letter on your behalf and though your boss was concerned, Satoru assured her that you’re alright, but your morning sickness has been brutal lately
She raised her eyebrows and smiled, telling Satoru to pass on her congratulations to you
Your roommate at your dorm didn’t give a crap (she has a big, fat crush on Satoru and when she found out he slept with you, she wanted to kill you.)
That urge only grew stronger when Satoru stopped by your dorm to move your stuff out and when she asked him why he was the one moving it, he simply stated,
“Well, she’s pregnant with my child so she’ll be living with me so I can take care of her.”
Safe to say your roommate spent the night ripping her hair out of her scalp
And you. You’re sitting in the sunroom with a cup of warm tea and a side of prenatal vitamins in front of you
You’re in deep thought when the door swings open and a tall figure enters in
He sits next to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you onto his lap so that your back is relaxed on his chest
“Did you take a look at the blueprints?”
“I did but… what’s wrong with this house?”
“Nothing. I’d just like a bigger home to raise our family in.”
He’s met with silence
“You haven’t taken your vitamins.”
“I will, I just, I haven’t been feeling too good this morning.”
To that he hums and leave a kiss on your neck
“How’s the dress shopping going?”
You pause and put your hands over his
“Don’t you think we’re rushing this? Why can’t we wait till after I’ve given birth?”
“I don’t wanna wait that long.”
You wanted to ask him why, but you knew it would result in the back of his hand meeting your soft cheek
You had already experienced Satoru’s aggressive side and you’d rather not deal with it until this baby is out of you
“I’m sorry, but I need to pee.” You squeak, escaping his grip and leaving him alone in the sunroom
5 days passed, and it was a big day. Your wedding day. Even though it was put together on such short notice, it turned out marvellous.
For a girl, her wedding day is supposed to be one of the best days of her life, right? It’s supposed to be magical, exciting and memorable… right?
So why are you sitting on a chair labeled “bride”, with your hair and makeup complete, staring at a one way bus ticket to the neighbouring city?
That leaves right when the ceremony starts
You had known about the bus ticket. Actually, an unexpected someone had given you the bus tickets.
Suguru, Satoru’s ex-bestfriend.
They had a huge falling out over a business deal and even mentioning his name sets Satoru into a rage. Especially if it’s his fiancee.
So as a lick back, Suguru offered to help you escape him. And maybe by the end of it, you’ll warm his bed once or twice, or better yet, marry him.
From Suguru’s perspective, it was the perfect revenge. Nobody knows Satoru better than himself. He knows exactly how he thinks and what steps he would take to find you.
He also knew that today would be the only day that Satoru wouldn’t be breathing down your neck because you were getting ready to be his bride.
At first, you didn’t believe it. But Geto is convincing. He thought about everything — down to the last little detail. He made you picture a life where you’re far away from Satoru and given a chance to start fresh again.
Going to the neighbouring city means you could have an abortion so you won’t be tied to the blue eyed monster for eternity.
Geto left his number on a sticky note that was attached to the bus ticket. You walk over to the landline and dial his number. After a ring, he picks up and once he hears your sweet voice, he smiles.
“Meet me at the corner of Xander’s street, there’s plenty of trees there to keep you hidden.”
Your heart was pounding in your chest and the tips of your ears were hot. You knew. You knew that if Satoru had the slightest hint about what you were about to do, he’d drag you to hell and back. But the idea of marrying him, having his child and building a home for your family, was far more petrifying.
You slip into some shorts and a tank top before sliding out of the bridal room and using the nearest exit to leave the venue. You scurry along the trees, hoping and praying no one sees. The corner of the street was quiet and secluded. You had plenty of cover and you waited until a blacked out Range Rover pulls over.
The window rolls down and it’s Suguru. He tells you to hop into the back seat quickly before anyone sees.
You do what he says, except when you open the back seat door, you’re met with icy blue eyes.
Your breath hitches and before you know it, you’re being pulled into the car with Satoru screaming at you.
“You fucking lying whore! How fucking stupid can you be, hm?”
He placed you on your back and wrapped his fingers around your neck, slightly chocking you
“When Suguru told me that you accepted the bus tickets, I let it slide. I let it slide because I thought you were smart enough to know not to cross me. But you, you fucking bitch, you really tried to leave me at the alter! You really thought you could get away from me?”
He tears your shorts apart, revealing your white undergarments that you were supposed to wear under your wedding dress.
You couldn’t help but cry, spewing apology after apology. But he wasn’t having any of it. He unbuckled his own pants, pulling his thick cock out of his trousers. He spat down on it for lube and without a care in the world, entered into you.
“You stupid bitch- you thought you could run away and abort my baby?!”
He leans down, his hot breath tickling your ear as he tugs on your hair to expose your neck.
“If you thought, even for a second that you could hide from me and live a normal life after killing my child. You’re just as sick as me… And clearly, you don’t know who the fuck I am. So let me teach you.”
He lifted your legs to mating press, ruthlessly thrusting into you while you sob beneath him. You try resisting by attempting to pry his fingers off the bottom of your thigh, but he has a death grip on them
“P-please stop… It hurts — I can’t move or b-breathe properly.”
You hiccup, but he ignores. Instead, he picks up the pace, making you cry even harder.
“I’m s-sorry please! Please it hurts! I can’t-”
“Shut the fuck up and take it. Or I’ll ask him to shut you up with his dick. I bet you’d like that, you fucking whore. So eager to leave me, is it because you have the hots for my best friend?”
Your eyes glance at the rear view mirror, and sure enough, his eyes are glued on you
Which only makes you sob harder. Hearing no response from you angered Satoru. Did you really like Suguru? He pressed on your neck, and by the look of his eyes, you knew he was waiting for an answer.
“N-no! I don’t- I swear I- I’m just not ready to be a mother, please!”
“I don’t fucking believe you.”
According to Satoru, the entire thing was a test for you. The falling out, Suguru giving you the bus ticket to help you escape, and meeting you at the corner of the street— it was all apart of the test. And you failed it. Miserably.
“And here I was, thinking that I had trained you to know better. To know better than to leave me. But you prove me wrong again and again.”
He finishes inside you. Suguru pulls into the back of the venue. Satoru pulls you up right and lays his forehead against your own.
“Go get your hair and makeup re-done. The next time I see you, you better be in your gown walking down the aisle to wed to me. Do you understand?”
“Mmh”
“Words”
“Yes.”
“Yes, what.”
“Yes, I understand.”
“Good.”
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Apologies for any mistakes. It’s pretty late. Also have mercy on me, I haven’t wrote anything in 9 months so it’s a bit rusty😭
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fatkish · 6 months ago
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Aisles and Class 1A x Fem Quirkless reader platonic hcs who’s cold, reserved, but still polite and nice to others. She’s a strict badass who’s also street smart and masters a bunch of weapons like throwing knives, guns, pole arms, etc, to replace her lack of a Quirk. One of the top students as well as the scariest girl in class as she gives it her all in class, sending anyone who challenges her to the infirmary anytime they fought her. Unlike Izuku, who at least grew up with a parent’s love, she had nobody and had to survive on the streets and illegal underground rings, earning many nasty scars that she hides behind her bandages and clothing which she always covers up with stuff like scarfs, gloves, even if it’s super hot out. She craves any love but backs down due to heavy discrimination, bullying, etc. hcs?
(So I’m gonna assume that Aisles is Aizawa because I don’t recall a character with that name. Also I’m gonna make the reader similar to Illumi Zoldyck from HxH)
Aizawa & Class 1A x Quirkless Reader
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Growing up in the underground was harsh and brutal. In order to survive you had to be willing to do whatever it took
Whether it was stealing food, or fighting, you did anything that could increase the chances of your survival
Living on the streets, you grew up facing villains and thugs in the alleys, they would see you as an easy target so you had to learn to protect yourself
After years of fighting and being subjected to multiple quirks, you’ve built up a high resistance to physical pain. Not that you can’t feel pain, you just tolerate more of it better than others
You’ve learned various techniques and skills when it comes to fighting but you’re not just skilled with combat
Having no parents, you had to learn to cook for yourself and became somewhat skilled in the culinary arts
In order to make up for not having a quirk, you learned to wield every possible weapon and mastered the use of each
And in order to have money, you fought in illegal and legal underground fighting rings. These fights landed you plenty of scars to the point that you’re covered in them
You wear bandages and long clothing to hide the scars, however your choice of style can make you look suspicious
Due to growing up the way you did, you developed a rather cold and reserved personality but you maintained your manners and are very polite
You don’t really show a lot of emotion which can make people uncomfortable being around you, but you don’t really care
Originally, you weren’t going to go to highschool but you came across Aizawa one night when you were cornered by some thugs. He was about to step in when you seemingly appeared behind the thugs, then they all fell down unconscious. Aizawa thought you used a teleportation quirk. He understood that you were essentially homeless and had no family so he offered for you to stay with him for the night
As he began to understand your predicament, he was amazed at how quickly you picked up on things. You were incredibly smart and observant but that’s probably due to having lived on the streets
When Aizawa learned that you didn’t have a quirk he originally didn’t believe you. But after testing his quirk on you, he realized you were telling the truth
Aizawa actually gave you a recommendation to UA since he deeply believes that you would make a good hero
When you took the recommendation exam, you met Inasa who surprisingly quickly managed to worm his way past your walls and became your friend during the exam
After having passed the exam with flying colors you were given Inasa’s phone number since he learned you didn’t have a phone
Aizawa had later that day, bought you a phone for you to connect with the friends you would hopefully make
When school came around, Inasa had been coaching you on how to make friends, despite your cold personality you managed to befriend Izuku on the first day (more like he just didn’t have the balls to tell you you were scary)
You saw how Bakugou treated Izuku and you didn’t like how scared Izuku was so you decided to make an example out of Bakugou
During All Mights hero class, you were paired with Izuku and Uraraka. You followed Izuku and protected him from Bakugou. When Bakugou ignored All Might and used his stored up sweat, you decided that you had enough. You quickly went behind Bakugou and started to let loose on him, in the end, you accidentally sent him to recovery girl’s office since you didn’t know how to hold back
When Izuku saw this, he realized you weren’t that scary and you’re just not that good with social situations, he then took it upon himself to make you apart of the Dekusquad and you decided to keep hanging around him
Shoto and Momo have become some of your closer friends. Momo takes you shopping and loves to dress you up
Mineta, Koda and Aoyama are terrified of you. The girls all love that Mineta is too afraid to perv on you, so they use you as a shield to ward off Mineta
Kirishima and Ojiro are constantly asking you to spar with them as well as Bakugou. They don’t care that you can’t hold back most of your strength, the don’t care that sparring with you is a one way ticket to Recovery Girl, they admire your strength and they want to get stronger
When you’re relaxing, Shoto likes to hang around you since you both have the same cluelessness in the sense of social interactions
Although you have a hard time initiating affection, Aizawa makes sure you receive plenty of it whether it’s just a simple head pat or a small hug. Aizawa and Midoriya help you with learning how to express yourself since you’ve closed yourself off as a means to protect yourself
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absolutebl · 2 months ago
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This Week in BL - Scandals, Face Offs & Disappointments, Oh my!
Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.
Oct 2024 Week 3
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Ongoing Series - Thai
Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 6 of 12 - 3 tiny girls ragging on Jack was possibly the greatest opening sequence ever. Poor Jack. He is so not single anymore - so far as everyone around him is concerned. 
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Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 5 of 15 - Sports day continues. We get a little backstory on the respective crushes on Noh. The jealousy between Phun & Earn is way more extreme in this version. I'm not mad about it. I love a claiming. Although it is so unfair of Phun to claim Noh when they agreed not to go there, AND he’s dating someone else. The byplay with Pete’s ex was fun. I wonder if we’re supposed to suss that Noh knows he’s gay in this version? 
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I'm doing a face-off style watch along of this new version versus the original 2014-2015 version. Where I decide with each new ep which one wins. I will render a final judgement at the end. Frankly, I'm warming to this show way more than I thought I would give my extreme affection for the original.
Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 7 of 12 - Oh it’s so cute that he just wants to officially move in. And the necklace claiming thing was darling. Mini boyfriend era. Min being a kept baby girl was kinda fun. The family thing was too sweet. Oh noes my man has been strangled! Oh good he’s okay. Stupid breakup “for the plot” moment, they could have easily been separated by baddies, we didn’t need to go through this. 
Fourever You (Thai Thurs YT) ep 3 of 16 - I don’t care how cute he is or how longing those beautiful eyes, ghosting is a pretty big offense. Especially high school first love. I’m glad Ter is being difficult about it. Still the backstory is getting frustratingly confusing. It seems increasingly convoluted (full of girls) and I’m not sure what happened. So I’m not sure if I should be on Hill’s side or Ter’s. I’m beginning to feel manipulated and I don’t like it. I still like the show, but not as much as I did last week. I’m on a roller coaster here. 
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Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 11 of 12 - It remains odd, disjointed, but still modestly entertaining. Ozone using a well placed Phi for manipulation purposes made me happy. Random het wedding is random. 2 drunk horny sunshine babygurls was cute tho. 
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Every You Every Me (Thai Mon Gaga) ep 2 of 10 - AKA Just one meet cute after another. Nice queer rep this time. It’s lovely, just not my style BL. 
Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 10 fin - Okay so last week half the ep was eng subbed and this week only 3/4. Whatever. Please note my extreme annoyance with everything about this show will color my rating. As it should. Ready for a mini rant?
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Conclusion
What to say about this damn show? It wasn’t what I wanted and I didn’t like it. I’m disappointed in myself for having expectations and in it for not living up to them. It starred August for fucks sake! How could they fuck it up so bad? I wanted it to be a Thai reinterpretation of the brilliance that was Addicted giving us the ending that we never got to have but the narrative deserved. I got a resounding nope. The side couple was messed with, rearranged, and then entirely dropped and forgotten. The main romance was weirdly obsessive without any physical payout or emotional resolution, as if this remake were the censored Chinese version. All characters acted irrationally most of the time, and from what I could tell there was no logic to the ending, which seemed to be to minors escaping to a beach, abandoning their schooling, families, and respective futures. It was a hot mess. Without being hot. 4/10 fatally flawed, do not bother
Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - it's bad. I don't like it.
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (Korea Thurs Gaga) eps 1-2 of 8 - High school student Do Hoe lives with his violent and brutal father who runs a Taekwondo gym in a rural area. Then cheerful Ju Young arrives who dreams of going to college for Taekwondo. Joy begins to fill Do Hoe's dark life. An unexpected incident forces them apart, they reunite over a decade years later.
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Make no mistake this one is dark. And Korea can go many directions when it leans dark. So I’m not entirely sure what to expect. All the triggers: child abuse, corporal punishment, alcoholism, gambling, and a few other things. But also a fantastically awkward kiss. Oh this is VERY good. I’m enjoying it. Tumblr is officially losing its tiny mind about it. What can I say? This hellhole loves it some gritty dark angst with high romance and deep meaning. All hail the return of Queen Hwang Da Seul. 
My Damn Business (Korea Sat YT) eps 3 of 7 - He kinda is the worst boss ever. Now he’s turned into a drinking buddy whether baby likes it or not. I really feel for this kid. I do want more backstory on both of them. Why are they the way they are? All that said….. phenomenal kiss. Thanks boys. 
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Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 4 of ? - I do like the brothers relationship. Even though we know it’s gonna become romantic, it’s nice to see them all teasing and friendly. Meanwhile I’m getting a little exhausted by the bullying and I’m very much ready for the revenge narrative to continue.
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Although I understand we have more of a spiral first, could we get on to some actual kissing soon? 
I'm shallow I just wanna see BV kiss the next boy. It's the BL world's version of Pokemon.
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Our Golden Times (Hong Kong YT) 6 fin - Okay so this was the last ep! 
Summary
This was an odd disjointed little piece, but the most BL BL we’ve ever seen out of Hong Kong. The optics are good and it’s enjoyable for what it is, which is a circumspect, badly subbed, and slightly odd yet earnest reunion romance. I liked it more for what it could be, and for what it represented, than for what it actually was, but I still liked it.
7/10 recommended with reservations
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I would like to nominate Our Golden Times @bengiyo as a candidate for the next "Girl you tried." Because it really did try hard to be the best little BL it could be under the circumstances.
First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - I do like all the couples, and in classic Taiwan style we’re ending ultra sappy (when they don’t fuck it up, and I don’t think this one will). Mei is the secret power behind the throne - as we all knew - love this for her, and us. 
Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 5 of 10 eps - I'm falling beind because my subber is, but sort-of trying to keep up. I don’t know. Just Japan messing with us, I guess.
Eccentric Romance (Korea Weds Viki) eps 3-4 of 12 - It’s oddly erotic with all the gym stuff but also awkward and weird with the jelly plus suspicion. (Hi GeonU, another Thai/Korea BL for you? Is it a thing for you now? Could you recruit Jimin to the cause? I mean you go him into a reality competition. BL is right there. Waiting. Pretty please with a shirtless hottie on top?) Anygay, I keep thinking that this show would actually be better if the Thai character were just a Korean character and this was just a regular KBL. Although, it probably still wouldn’t be very good.
It's airing but...
The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) 10 eps - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai being converted into a café. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.
Next Week Looks Like This:
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Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.
Still Coming:
10/21 Love in the Big City (Korea Mon Viki) ep 1 of - Okay, this is both a movie (already out) and a series. Neither one is likely BL and I can't imagine it will end happily. Here's your synopsis:
Cynical fun loving student Young pinballs from home, to class, to on night stands. He and Jaehee, his female besie and roommate, frequent nearby bars where they push away their worries about life, love, and money with soju and hookups.
Apparently this is causing a homophobic ruckus in SK right now. As is wont to happen when one puts a really big name in the gay lead and your country is, well, pretty damn homophobic. Brokeback mukbang anyone? (Oh yes I am aware I'm a turd, but I'm too old for this crap. I guess that makes me a coprolite.)
10/23 See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga Viki et al) 10 eps? - Zi Xiong, a third-generation heir, attempting to flee from taking over their family business, meets and falls in love with Shao Peng, who works as a hearing-impaired nurse. From the same production house as Kiseki Dear To Me in partnership with Shinehouse Theatre, funded by Taiwan’s BIGART + Japan's Rakuten (Viki). Show includes Lin Chia Yo (Be Loved in House: I Do). Director Chiang Ping Chen’s childhood experiences with his deaf uncle have inspired the drama.
10/27 Perfect 10 Liners (Thai Sun YouTube?) 24 eps! - New directing yet another university BL with engineers + their mentees. Based on a Jittirain novel. with a massive cast and massive run time. We will be watching this until APRIL of 2025!
ForceBook playing the same old characters = enemies to lovers tsunder/sunshine jock/nerd thing.
PerthChimonSanta are doing the cohabitation cool guy/dork trope.
JuniorMark are doing popular sunshine meets lonely sad boy (the only interesting pair IMHO).
Not sure if these will be interwoven (We Are style) or shorter stand alone runs-within-the-run of 8 eps each (Y-Destiny style).
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
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You just kissed his brains out, what do you think? (Eh, we all know the aniyo is coming. This uke is made of tsudere and 아니요 ) (Damn Business)
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I know, it's not a good show, but just LOOK at his face.
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And the uke drunken shenanigans was brilliant. Loved it. (Battle Writers)
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I did LOVE the twist on Golf. (Love Sick 2024)
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Joke coming for our hearts just like...... it's TOO MUCH. War is SO DAMN GOOD. (J&J)
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Calling out the trope HDS?
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Gah. So awkward.
(Both from LFTCOT)
The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs
Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.
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pickleskisser · 1 month ago
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hii!! I really liked your pickles headcanons and the part about meeting his family was my favorite! if you have the time could I request hcs for meeting the family for the rest of the boys? if not the rest of them then just skwisgaar would be fine!
remember to drink water, eat a snack, and take plenty of breaks!
(ps can i be spade anon?)
HIIII !! Omg thank you sm I had a lot of fun with it lolz. And yeah I can so do that for you :p fair warning it's very improvised since info on these dude's parents are scarce but I hope it's enjoyable anyways ☆
Meeting the Parents HCs
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Nathan Explosion
The one you have to worry least about, his parents are sweethearts.
Though his mom will have an eye on you both the whole time.
I feel like Nathan has a record of getting entangled with people who were not so good for him, so it isn't personal or anything she's just on the fence at first.
Once she realizes you're not like that, though, and genuinely love Nathan and, in turn, treat him how he deserves, she's alllllllll over you.
She's going to want your number, your Skype, your Facebook, everything.
She'll pull out the baby pictures too. It greatly embarrasses your brutal boyfriend.
His dad would be the same, on the fence a little, but he overall trusts Nathan a little more.
He might try to plan a fishing trip, though, and Nathan is going to be all over that, so good luck getting out of that if you viscerally dislike fishing.
Overall, don't sweat it! As long as you treat their boy right, they love you, and you might as well be family now.
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Toki Wartooth
Oh boy. So I'm not sure you could ever really meet his parents?
He doesn't like talking about them. You probably didn't even learn anything about them until late in your relationship.
If you were to hypothetically meet them, well, you're only meeting his mom.
Aslaug would be dead at this point so there wouldn't be much of an option.
Anja is a cold woman with high unachievable standards. So don't take the fact she won't even speak to you too personally.
If you're religious in the Christian sense, you might have a small chance of approval… but then again, you're dating Toki Wartooth of Dethklok, and you had to learn about him somewhere. Goddamn devil music.
Don't even waste your breath. All that matters is how much you and Toki love each other.
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William Murderface
It's not willing on his part at all.
Stella is showing up unannounced, ranting and raving about not telling her he finally got hitched, and he must just want her to die or something.
He's snippy and miserable the whole time. Not miserable in the same sense Pickles was, he's more annoyed than anything.
Stella isn't the most gentle woman. She's abrasive and loud and can be partial to physical violence, but she does care a little bit about her grandson.
She really sucks at showing it, and definitely fucked him up with her parenting style (if his emotional constipation and short fuse didn't make that clear) but she did step up when his parents died instead of letting him go through the system, so.
All this to say, she's giving you a shotgun talk.
William will pry it out of her hands, of course, and curse her out for it, but it's happening !!
After that, though, don't worry, you're family now. Actually, maybe you should worry.
This means that whatever small politeness she whipped up before is long gone, you're a Murderface now, you are going to get treated like one.
Although William couldn't care less about his grandmother's opinion, he cares about yours. So, to see you embracing his family in full stride without getting scared off is more than heartwarming to him.
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Skwisgaar Skwigelf
Again, it's fully unwilling on his end. It would honestly have to be something you want.
I think it's needless to say his relationship with his mom is weird. He truthfully wouldn't mind never seeing her again, especially after the events of fatherklok.
But again, if you really, really, want it then, yeah, he'll take you down to Sweden.
Surfetta doesn't have much of an opinion on you. What you are to her son is no concern to her.
She's most likely tipsy the whole time and disappearing for periods at a time.
The whole thing will feel like a waste of time, and Skwisgaar is stressed.
Don't worry he just needs to play his Thunderhorse for a few hours, and maybe a little bit of laying on top of you with his head on your chest listening to the sound of your heartbeat… just a little.
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nickeverdeen · 26 days ago
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Hey, could I request a yandere alphabet for Abby from TLOU? I was thinking for fem!reader specifically, but I'm not sure if gender would make a difference in your headcanons? Anyways, I just thought it'd be interesting too see how you think the trope would fit into Abby's story? (also because- the main reason i'm requesting ahaha- i have a big crush on abby and i'm a fan of the yandere trope. sue me)
Abby Anderson yandere alphabet
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A - Affection
Abby shows love through overwhelming protection and acts of service, often without considering how her darling feels about it. She’s fiercely attentive, going to great lengths to ensure they’re cared for—even if her methods come across as suffocating. Her affection is intense, and she struggles to express it softly.
B - Blood
Abby has no problem getting her hands dirty—she’s a survivor in a brutal world, and nothing will stop her from protecting or claiming her darling. She’s willing to kill or maim without hesitation, rationalizing it as necessary to keep them safe.
C - Cruelty
If Abby abducts her darling, she wouldn’t mock them outright, but she’d be brutally straightforward about their situation. She’d explain that this is “for their own good” and that any resistance is futile. Her cruelty would manifest in her lack of empathy for their struggles, not seeing their distress as valid.
D - Darling
Abby would absolutely do things against her darling’s will, particularly when she thinks she knows better. Whether it’s isolating them from others, controlling their movements, or physically restraining them, she justifies it all as keeping them out of harm’s way.
E - Exposed
Abby isn’t one to bare her soul easily, but she might open up to her darling in moments of vulnerability, using her trauma as a way to bond with them. She’d reveal her fears of loss and abandonment, hoping it creates a sense of understanding—even if it’s manipulative.
F - Fight
If her darling fought back, Abby would react with a mix of frustration and determination. She’d likely overpower them, using her strength to reassert control while trying not to hurt them too much. However, their defiance would sting, and she might take it as a personal failure.
G - Game
To Abby, this isn’t a game. She takes her obsession seriously, seeing it as a matter of survival and emotional necessity. Watching her darling try to escape wouldn’t amuse her—it would anger and hurt her, fueling her need to tighten her grip.
H - Hell
The worst experience her darling would endure might be Abby’s explosive temper. If they pushed her too far, she could lash out physically—not enough to cause serious harm, but enough to remind them of her dominance. The emotional aftermath would be just as harrowing, as she alternates between guilt and justification.
I - Ideals
Abby envisions a future where her darling is entirely dependent on her. She dreams of a partnership where they rely on her for protection, care, and love, seeing herself as the only one capable of providing what they need in a dangerous world.
J - Jealousy
Abby’s jealousy is intense and immediate. She lashes out at perceived threats, whether it’s a person, an idea, or even her darling showing too much independence. Her response is usually physical—she’ll eliminate the threat directly or enforce stricter control over her darling.
K - Kisses
Abby’s kisses are firm, possessive, and often unexpected. She uses physical affection as a way to assert her claim, sometimes overwhelming her darling with sudden displays of dominance and intensity.
L - Love letters
Her “courting” style is blunt and straightforward. Abby isn’t one for subtlety; she’d make her feelings clear with gestures that are protective but also intimidating, like following her darling or intervening aggressively in their life to “prove” her love.
M - Mask
Abby’s yandere tendencies don’t differ much from her usual personality, but they amplify her protective instincts and controlling nature. Around others, she might appear composed, but with her darling, she’s much more intense and emotionally volatile.
N - Naughty
Abby’s punishments would be physically imposing. If her darling disobeys or defies her, she might restrain them, isolate them, or use her strength to intimidate. Her punishments are never excessively cruel, but they’re always a stark reminder of her power.
O - Oppression
Abby would take away most of her darling’s autonomy, limiting their ability to leave or interact with others. She’d justify every restriction as necessary for their safety, refusing to acknowledge the harm she’s causing.
P - Patience
Abby is patient up to a point. She’s willing to wait for her darling to “come around,” but her temper flares if she feels disrespected or if progress takes too long. Her patience is heavily dependent on her emotional state.
Q - Quit
If her darling were to escape or die, Abby would be devastated but not entirely broken. She’d throw herself into physical activity or survival work to cope, but the loss would haunt her for the rest of her life. If she thought her darling could be found, she’d never stop looking.
R - Regret
Abby would feel moments of guilt, especially if she hurt her darling or pushed them too far. However, she’d rationalize it as necessary in the grand scheme of things, convincing herself that it’s all for their benefit.
S - Stigma
Her obsession stems from her deep-seated fear of loss and abandonment, likely a result of her traumatic experiences. Having lost so much, Abby latches onto her darling as the one thing she can control and protect.
T - Tears
Seeing her darling cry or scream would unnerve Abby, but she wouldn’t stop. She’d frame it as proof that they need her guidance and protection, using their distress to reinforce her own importance in their life.
U - Unique
Abby’s uniqueness lies in her physicality. Unlike many classic yanderes who rely on manipulation, Abby uses her sheer strength and survival skills to dominate and control. Her obsession feels more grounded in practicality than in fantasy.
V - Vice
Abby’s biggest weakness is her guilt and desire for validation. If her darling played on these emotions, showing signs of acceptance or manipulating her into believing she’s “won,” they might be able to buy themselves an opportunity to escape.
W - Wit’s end
Abby is unlikely to intentionally hurt her darling severely, but if pushed to her breaking point, she might lash out in a moment of rage. However, her remorse would kick in immediately, leading to desperate attempts to “fix” the damage.
X - Xoanon
Abby doesn’t revere her darling in a traditional sense. She sees them as a partner, someone she’s bound to protect and control. Her worship manifests more as possessiveness than adoration, focusing on their survival and dependence on her.
Y - Yearn
Abby wouldn’t pine for long before acting on her feelings. Once she fixates on someone, she moves quickly, believing that taking action is the only way to ensure they’re safe and hers.
Z - Zenith
Abby wouldn’t intentionally break her darling, but her controlling and intense nature might wear them down over time. She doesn’t want to destroy their spirit—she wants them to willingly accept her love, even if it takes years of manipulation to get there.
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daturabouquet · 4 months ago
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Thank goodness it's just a dream..
[Dottore x Fem!Reader angst, Warnings: Assisted suicide, mentioned torture, breach of privacy, toxic relationship dynamic, stalking]
Dottore's brutality and emotional/physical torment has gone so far that even just being around him scares you, you get panic attacks whenever there's just a slight look of displeasure in his face, nightmares of him and so on. You had no privacy of thought either; he has a "rewired" Akasha terminal hooked on you, he can read your mind as much as he pleases. He knew exactly how you felt yet he didn't care.
Until you asked for your Harbinger friend to take your life and end all of your suffering. Fatui Harbingers have protection against other Fatui Harbingers, they can't hurt one another so they will have no consequence for killing you.
Unfortunately, Dottore found out on the day of the supposed execution. He barged in and stopped Pantalone from ending you.
"What in the hells were you thinking?!"
"Shh, don't be so loud, you're going to wake her. And this is her wish, can't you see how much pain you've caused her?"
"I know what I did, and they deserved every single bit of it. Besides, she seems fairly content with our life together."
"I would believe otherwise, Doctor. Death is her best choice."
Pantalone reloaded the gun once more.
"I will not let you live for another day if you pull that trigger, Banker. I will ruin every aspect of your life and everything you've worked for."
"You can't do that thanks to Her Highness' policy. Unless you'd like to spar with the Tsaritsa herself?"
"Drop the gun, Banker."
"Only if you'll strike a deal for me..."
"Name your price."
"Put (name) back in her bed in her hometown in Sumeru, and make her believe every second she was here was a dream. Keep your "improved" Akasha on her, if she's in despair that everything was a dream, we'll bring her back here. Otherwise, if she jumps with joy because all her pain was just a dream... you set her free."
"Set her free? What kind of bargain is this, Banker?"
"A good one. Either you agree, Doctor... or I'll pull the trigger."
--
You wake up in Sumeru, very disoriented as you take in your surroundings... huh, your hometown... in your bed... in your house? You scratch your head in confusion... Weren't you asleep in the Zapolyarny Palace last night? But you feel... fresh, like you've woken up from a loooong sleep... Wait, was everything just a dream? Your wedding with Dottore, the torture, the love, everything was it just a dream...? You're trying to absorb all of this... but once you're over it, you jump in joy that everything was just a dream.
At this moment, somewhere in Zapolyarny Palace, the Second fatui harbinger slams his fist into his desk, your point of view from your "Akasha" displayed on a screen in front of him.
"(name)... after everything I did for you..."
He'll do whatever it takes, to get you back. He grabs a blank book and scribbles down in a hurry;
"Project (First Name) (Last Name)."
And he breaks his pen, blotting the end of the sentence with the ink. He will make sure you run back to him, but for now... you're strolling in the Grand Bazaar conversing with the vendors, not noticing your Akasha was a slightly different shade of green.
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mssorceressupreme · 6 months ago
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Hi! I absolutely adore your writing (also going through a maze runner hyper fixation🤭).
Would you be able to do a fic where reader was thought to have died when they originally escaped the maze but reader got out with Gally. Then Minho and reader reunite when they see Gally again (if this makes any sense).
Thank you!! 🫶🏻
hiii aw thank you love that means a lot 💓💓 omg yesss this is such a lovely prompt!! I love reunions lol especially when one s/o was thought to be dead 😝
——
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Into Your Arms
Pairing: Minho x Reader
Summary: the gladers thought you were dead (you were shot instead of chuck), but what happens when you’re reunited at last. Your bond with Minho proves unbreakable as you face the future together.
Warnings: mild violence, mentions of bullet scars
——
You sat in the dimly lit room of your shared safe house in the Last City, your fingers tracing an old scar on your stomach.
It was a constant reminder of the day you had narrowly escaped death, a brutal memento left by a bullet from Gally, who wasn’t in the best state of mind a year back.
The pain of that moment, both physical and emotional, had nearly broken you. Yet, here you were, alive and determined, haunted by thoughts of your friends from the glade. Every night, you wondered if they had survived, if they were out there somewhere, fighting the same fight. If Minho was doing alright.
The last memory you had of your boyfriend was him shedding tears as he cradled you in his arms, before you passed out from the loss of blood. That was when they presumed you were dead. Everything after that was a blur, well, until Lawrence and his crew rescued you and Gally.
A knock on the door broke your reverie. Gally stepped in, his expression serious but tinged with something else—hope. “We spotted something, or rather, some people, and we’re bringing them in soon. You might want to be there when we arrive back.” What did he mean by that?
Though Gally was the person who gave you that scar, you forgave him for it. The both of you looked past that and decided to start fresh when Lawrence brought the two of you to his army. Gally even became a brother figure to you, constantly on the lookout to keep you safe.
Moments later, they returned.
Your heart pounded as you waited for their vans to reveal the mystery guests inside.
No shucking way.
The sight that greeted you made you gasp. As soon as the doors slid open, familiar faces emerged. Your gladers. Thomas, Newt, Frypan—they were all here. Relief and joy surged through you, but a sharp pang of anxiety struck you when you didn’t see Minho.
You stood there blending in with the crowd, not knowing what to say or do.
“Hey Greenie.” Gally greeted Thomas, to which he replied by striking Gally’s jaw. Gasps were heard and our soldiers cocked their guns, aiming at Thomas.
“Woah woah woah—stop, stop!” Newt rushed to the front, preventing Thomas from striking Gally once more.
“He killed Y/N…” Thomas spat, “do you have any idea what that did to Minho!”
“I know, I remember. I was there…but I also remember that he was stung and out of his mind.” Newt defended Gally, hoping to calm Thomas down before a fight escalated.
“I’m actually right here...” You said aloud, pushing past the crowd and making your way to the front. You slowly helped Gally up and stood face-to-face with your fellow gladers.
“Y/N??” They gasped in unison. Thomas and Newt rushed to hug you, Fry followed not long after.
“It’s so good to see you again.” Thomas softly said, squeezing you, “He would be elated to know.” You immediately knew who he was referring to. But where was he?
“H-how?! How is this possible? We watched you die. Both of you.” Newt questioned, glancing from Gally to you.
“No, you left us to die.” Gally retorted, “We were lucky Lawrence found us when he did, if not Y/N wouldn’t have made it.”
“What’re you guys doing here anyway?” You inquired, “and where’s—” Before you even finished your question, Newt read your mind.
“Minho. WCKD has him here, we’re looking for a way in.”
Your heart sank, he was here the whole time and you didn’t know?! “Let’s get him then! Gally?”
Gally nodded, “I can help with that. Follow me.”
——
The hours that followed were a blur of planning and preparation. You donned WCKD soldier suits, your faces hidden behind masks. Each step you guys took inside the compound was a step closer to Minho, but also a step deeper into danger.
The tension was thick enough to cut through it with a knife, every sound amplified, every shadow a potential threat.
As you fought your way through the facility, the adrenaline was mixed with fear. You were fighting to save someone you thought you’d lost forever.
“We’ll wait here.” Gally and you waited outside a tall modern building, WCKD’s headquarters, squatting behind a large pillar.
“Are you sure they’re doing alright inside? Shouldn’t we go in to help them?” I demanded, “I need to know that Minho and the others are safe.”
“Trust me, they’ll find a way out of that building.” As though Gally had predicted the future, a glass window on one of the higher floors smashed, and out jumped three figures.
“That’s our cue!” Gally hastened, both of you got in position and followed the other “WCKD soldiers” as they approached the trio.
“Freeze! Put your hands in the air!” One of them commanded pointing guns at your boys, “Uh uh uh!” He continued, when Thomas reached for the gun in his leg strap.
Gally and you acted quickly, shooting them, one by one the soldiers passed out.
The trio stood there dumbfounded, and finally sighed with relief when Gally revealed his mask first.
“Gally?” Minho’s jaw dropped.
“Minho.”
You followed, revealing yourself next.
Minho froze, eyeing you up and down. He shook his head, tears welled up in his eyes, “Y/N?….”
You nodded, wasting no time running up to him and embracing him. “Minho!” You breathed, your eyes filling with tears, body trembling with relief and emotion.
He held you tightly, his breath ragged in your ear, “You’re alive…?!?” He whispered, disbelief and relief mingling in his voice, “All this time…baby, I thought you were dead.“
You pulled back slightly, tears streaming down your face, and punched him playfully on the shoulder, “You were here all this time, and I didn’t know?”
Minho’s eyes were wide with emotion, his voice cracking. “I thought I lost you forever when you got shot in the glade…by him,” He glared at Gally but couldn’t find a reason to be angry now that you were alive, “I mourned you every day.”
Your heart broke at the raw pain in his voice. You reached up, cupping his face in your hands. “I’m here now, Minho. I’m here.”
He hugged you again, tighter this time, as if afraid you might disappear. “Gally took me under his wing,” you explained softly, feeling Minho tense at the mention of Gally.
Minho’s eyes flickered over to Gally, anger flaring briefly, “You shot her,” he said, his voice hard.
Gally raised his hands defensively, “I was stung and truly didn’t mean to—”
“Thank you.” Minho’s responsed baffled Gally, he was sincere, “Thank you for taking care of her.” Once Minho saw that you were safe and well, forgiving Gally was easier.
Minho’s anger dissipated as quickly as it had flared. He sighed, his shoulders relaxing, “I’m just glad you’re okay.” He said, looking back at you, “that’s all that matters now.”
——
Timeskip to Safe Haven (and Newt survives cause I want him too 😩):
After the festivities of celebrating your first day at the safe haven, Minho guided you to a quiet corner, his eyes never leaving you while the others continued socialising.
“Let me see your wound,” he said gently.
You lifted your shirt slightly, revealing an old scar. Minho’s fingers traced the mark, his eyes filled with sorrow. “I never should’ve left you at the glade,” he whispered, “I should’ve protected you then.”
“You couldn’t have known,” you replied, placing your hand over his, “none of us could have known what would happen.”
He looked up at you, his eyes wet with unshed tears, “When I thought I lost you, I didn’t know how to go on.”
“You don’t have to anymore,” you gently replied, “We’re together now. We’ll face whatever comes next, together.”
He pulled you into his arms, and you rested your head against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. For the first time in what felt like eternity, you felt a sense of peace. The nightmares of your separation were over, and you had been given a second chance.
As the night wore on, you talked with Minho, your words a balm for your wounded souls. The two of you shared everything—what you had endured, the fears you faced, and the hope that had kept you going. Each word, each touch, strengthened the bond between you.
The sun began to disappear into the horizon of the sea tinting the sky a beautiful shade of orange, purple and pink.
That was when Minho finally spoke the words you had longed to hear. “I love you,” he said, voice raw with emotion. “I never stopped.”
“I love you too,” you replied, your heart swelling with joy. “I always have.”
You held each other close, the horrors of the past fading in the light of your reunion. You had found each other again, and together, you were ready to face whatever the future held.
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lieutenantfloyd · 9 months ago
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Yooo I'm always happy to see new Dune writers! 🫶 Could you write sth about Feyd and Rabban competing for Reader's affection? Can be HCs or written, whatever suits you most
Competing for your affection headcanons | Feyd-Rautha & Rabban x reader
Warnings: mentions of blood, possessiveness, bullying, polyamory, and implied mental abuse.
Authors note: I have some ideas for a full fic, but I wanted to get some headcanons out first!
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From the moment their feelings arise, they are deeply competitive with each other and wholly possessive of you.
This often leads to physical fights between the brothers, only ceasing once there is a heavy mix of blood and humiliation.
The one thing they can both agree on is that if a threat arises, they will stop at nothing to keep you safe and defend your honor.
Neither one of them is going to try to woo you in a typical or expected manner.
Feyd-Rautha will put his focus into mind games and wearing you down mentally, while Rabban takes an uncharacteristically soft and physical approach.
Rabban fails to understand why Feyd is so outwardly cruel to you and often wonders if he should mimic Feyd’s actions as a way to win you over.
Meanwhile, Feyd takes pleasure in harassing Rabban over his glaring soft spot for you.
The interactions you have with them are wildly different for each brother.
Rabban needs someone to see through his rough exterior and grant him kind words and soft touches. Both things he’s never once received before.
Feyd-Rautha needs devotion, challenge, and the illusion of control. Attend his fights, dress his wounds, and call him sweetly by his title while also alluding to the fact that you will always hold the upper hand.
Their egos and emotional immaturity will eventually lead to their demise, which in turn allows you to toy with the situation as you wish.
If you choose to solely pursue the Na-Baron:
Rabban will descend into an absolute rampage, unable to cope with his unrequited feelings.
Feyd-Rautha, on the other hand, will grow even more confident at his perceived “victory”.
He’ll even go as far as dressing you up in Harkonnen dress and parading you around.
Behind closed doors, however, he’s completely at your mercy.
As Feyd gains more power and you make more public appearances as a couple, the reality of your relationship becomes more widely known.
It’s not long before it becomes glaringly obvious that while Feyd may have birthright and claim to thrones, you are the one truly in control.
If you choose to solely pursue the Count:
Rabban will take you back to his planet of Lankiveil before Feyd-Rautha can sink his blade into his brother's chest.
While at first he feels like he must be harsh to you, it quickly melts away until you see more signs of kindness from Rabban than you ever could have expected.
Rabban has had a hard life, and he doesn’t quite know what to do with or how to convey his feelings to you.
What he does know is how good treating you well makes him feel.
What starts as small gestures—like keeping you well fed and teaching you to defend yourself—eventually manifests into him waiting on you hand and foot.
Controversy will arise as the public becomes aware of your relationship.
The great houses, the brutal society of Geidi prime, and even the rest of the Harkonnens are completely incapable of understanding how you turned their fearsome Beast into your personal lap dog.
If you choose to pursue them both:
It will take careful planning along with keeping their behavior on a tight leash, but the reward certainly outweighs the risk and labor you need to invest in the relationship.
Initially they’ll both be needy, angry, and complicated. Frustrated as to why they can’t have you alone, while also being grateful to receive any affection in return.
You often have to act as a mediator between them.
Over time—and using your love as a common ground—a strange form of respect grows between them.
The Baron does not keep his disdain for your relationship a secret, afraid of how it will affect the House as well as the Emperors and the Bene Gesserit’s plans.
Feyd and Rabban are quick to match his words with their own unconcealed threats.
While their words barely phase him, The Baron is shaken to see the heirs finally getting along even momentarily.
With each of your unique skills now working together, both Feyd and Rabban are happy to serve your personal soldiers while you strategize to gain them more power over House Harkonnen and eventually the Imperium.
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cottoncandyafterdark · 4 months ago
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Hello, Nanami's alphabet was so good, and I was wondering if I could request Senku (as adult ofc) NSFW alphabet too? I hope it's fine, thank you!
Got it right here! =D Thanks for the request, hope you like this alright! To be honest, I always have trouble seeing Senku in sexual situations, so I did my best to keep it true to him and how I see him while still being sexy. Hope you enjoy, thanks for waiting!
Fandom: Dr Stone
Character(s): Senku Ishigami
Warnings: None
ao3 | Ko-Fi
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
He needs a moment to catch his breath, but after that, he's surprisingly cuddly. He might not usually be one for physical touch, but he's not so averse to it that he'll leave you dry. Plus, just about everyone needs a hug once in a while- this is his once in a while.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He's not so focused on the physical, at least, not to the point that there's a specific part of your body he's more attracted to than any other. He thinks you, as a whole, are very attractive, end of sentence.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Mostly irrelevant because he pretty much always uses a condom. He doesn't have penetrative sex until they can make condoms in the stone world, and then always uses them until they re-invent other forms of birth control, or you discuss having kids and decide to try for a pregnancy. Whatever comes first.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
When he first decided to broach the subject of sex with you, he wrote down and practiced what he would say because he felt his typical blunt "brutal honesty" attitude wouldn't go over super well in this particular instance. He tried as hard as he could to make it sound like he hadn't spent hours rehearsing. He still has the notes where he drafted it hidden away, but if anyone ever found them he might die of embarrassment.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Yeah, it would be a shock if he had any experience before he met you. He's never been in a serious relationship before, and he's certainly not one for casual sex, so, yeah, you're almost certainly his first. He has no clue what he's doing your first couple of times having sex, but he'll get the hang of it pretty quickly.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
He's a fan of cowgirl and any other position where he's sitting or laying down and doesn't have to exert himself too much (not that he's lazy, but his physical strength and stamina is... Well... You know. He's Senku.) Don't take that to mean he's submissive, though; Senku is quite the power bottom.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He doesn't really purposely try to be humorous, but if something funny happens, he can laugh and go with it.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
As funny as it would be, he doesn't have any green streaks in his pubic hair- it is white/platinum blonde, though. He keeps it trimmed and well-groomed.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He can be quite romantic, in his own way. For Senku, an emotional connection is a non-negotiable prerequisite for sex, so he almost has to be. He might not show his love in the most traditional of ways, but if you know him, and you do, you'll be able to feel it in the way he touches and talks to you during.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He doesn't do it all that often, especially once he's in a relationship. On the rare occasions he gets horny enough to want that release, he's going straight to you. He only jerks off on the rare occasion that he gets really horny and you just aren't available for whatever reason.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
He's mostly vanilla, but he's pretty into dirty talk to a point you could probably call it a kink.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Bed. Maybe a chair in a private place if he's feeling spicy. He has a fantasy of fucking you in the lab, but knows that you probably shouldn't actually do that (too many dangerous chemicals).
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Really, you just have to tell him straight up that you're horny and want to fuck. If he's in a good mood and not too tired, that'll start getting him nice and worked up on its own, then the foreplay will really get him ready to have some fun.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
No pain, no fluids, and no completely unprotected sex (at least, not without a lot of discussion and a clean STD test beforehand.)
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He likes giving oral a little better than receiving it. He enjoys receiving, of course, but feels it can spoil things a bit if he comes before the 'main course', so to speak. But when giving, he can just focus on your pleasure, especially if you have a little more stamina than him and he can make you cum once or twice without any fear of ruining anything.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Usually, he lets you set the pace, but he prefers it to be on the "fast and rough" side.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Not really his thing. His sex drive isn't very high, so a quickie just feels like a wasted opportunity. If he's in the mood, he wants to really enjoy it, and that usually means taking his time.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Experimentation is core to science, isn't it? So yes, he's game to try out new things. As for anything risky... Not really his thing. It's not like he's scared to take calculated risks, he just doesn't find them particularly sexy.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
We all know Senku isn't the most physically inclined guy. Unfortunately, this does affect his stamina in sexual situations, too. He can go for one round, and if you want more, he needs quite a bit of recovery time- though this is lessened if you go for a position where he doesn't need to exert himself as much, like cowgirl or other 'riding' type positions.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He kind of likes toys, though only uses them for his partner, not himself. He sees them as a tool mainly for foreplay- not the main event themselves. Of course, there's not many options for toys in the stone world... Though that may be a private little side project he works on occasionally.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Only a little bit. He's not trying to deny your orgasm or anything, just, draw out the foreplay a little bit more than is strictly necessary. He just wants to get both of you properly worked up and if that requires a bit of teasing, so be it.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He's very quiet. To the point that if you're in the dark, you could think he's fallen asleep or something. But he knows most people like more noise from their partner, so he'll start to fill the silence with words, since he's just not the type to moan and groan a lot- see entry W.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He is shockingly good at dirty talk. You're honestly not sure if it's natural talent or he's copying what he's seen online or what, but his talent at whispering just the perfect thing into your ear to get you going is unbelievable- and unbelievably hot.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
His dick is about 5 and a half inches in length and also has a pretty average girth- nothing special in terms of sheer size, sure, but we all know it isn't the size of the wave, it's the motion of the ocean, right? ;)
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Quite lower than average, honestly. He needs a bit of motivation to get him going, so you'll have to get used to being the one to initiate most of the time.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He usually dozes off after 10-20 min if he stays in bed- which he often does, because he gets pretty tired, especially after more intense rounds. He doesn't stay asleep for long, though, it's almost always more of a nap than anything.
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booknbrew · 24 days ago
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SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING OF PANTHEON SEASON 2 BELOW 👇 TW: Sui, self h, murder
One of the things that breaks my heart most about the ending of the show, is the fates of the human main characters:
David Sr. - died of cancer being the first human subject to an experimental brain surgery, in the hopes of mending the heartbreak of his family after his passing. It could be true that he suffered just as much as Chanda did on his surgery, though it may also not be the case, because Logorythems had a different surgical process to Chanda's captors.
Ellen Kim - chose to end her life because she felt irrelevant in her working field and because of her immense divide with her daughter (and probably grandchild), both on an emotional, philosophical and probably physical level.
Maddie Kim - died 20 years after her first and only love passed away in front of her to save humanity. Before passing she lost every close human connection she had, had to go through teenage pregnancy, raising a child as a single mom, and having that same child bleed to death in her arms. The only reason she uploaded was that she felt she had no other reason to live. She was the only one that felt that uploading was not a solution, but suicide.
Caspian Keyes - died as a martyr to save humanity as a teenager, after years of mental and physical abuse orchestrated by a big corporation, his last few years experienced in constant existential crisis and the disregard for his own safety and survival.
Cary - died to save his adopted son, but ultimately, did not get to know that he died as a martyr shortly after.
Renee - not a very nice woman that drove herself insane for a person she was madly obsessed with. After abusing a child for years, being a horrible and abusive colleague (if you call being a fake wife that), involving herself with a plan to genocide the entire human population (or at least as much of it as possible) for a lover just as insane as her, and just as dead.
Cody Lowel - similarly to maddie, probably uploaded out of despair.
Laurie Lowel - was murdered for the purpose of a failed experiment. Twice, if you consider the faith of her UI.
Chanda - same as Laurie, but had to be awake and suffer for a long time before dying in the very same experiment. Twice.
Though we did get a relatively "good" ending for a variation of Maddie and Caspian's UI, the only individuals I keep longing for are the humans involved in this story. I believe the one that suffered the most, if you can really make such a comparison, is Maddie.
Having experienced loss and grief over and over and over, just for her very last moments to be surrendering to despair, after holding your dying son... I cannot think about her character without getting misty-eyed. Having lost all of your family in the most brutal ways, including your would be future husband/long-term partner, it's just gut-wrenching.
Lots of people have found feelings of relief after realizing the fate of the UIs, but I could never stop thinking about the humans. I'm not even sure if we watched the real story, because we were introduced to a simulation in the first place. What if their fates were worse than what we saw already?
The slongen of the Pro Upload folks was "die now, live forever" but the reality is that not every character in the show considered their UI copy to be a continuation of themselves. So those who chose to upload even though they philosophy opposed it, have essentially ended their lives seeing it as us the viewers see suicide in our world, and it's heartbreaking. Though, ending your life viewing your UI copy as a continuation of you is horrifying in it's own way (may make a separate post on that).
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pedrospatch · 1 year ago
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Lonely Too Long l (To Hell and Back Drabble)
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Series Masterlist
Summary: After escaping a group of brutal slavers, you are left with permanent physical and emotional scars. Unwilling to put your trust in another human being ever again, you spend a year fighting for survival alone in the post outbreak world. But when you choose to save the life of a man named Joel Miller, the wall that you’ve built to protect yourself slowly begins to crumble.
Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader
Warnings/Tags: 18+ only, minors DNI. Flashback of implied SA, but no descriptions. Soft Joel, Joel sings to reader. *If you happen to be reading the series, I recommend reading this one because it starts setting up Joel and reader’s relationship. This is also the last flashback she’s going to have since it’s a heavier one than the last two.
Word Count: 1.9k
A/N: Dust to Dust is one of my favorite songs by The Civil Wars. I know the song did not come out until like 2013, but we’re just going to pretend. Also, I know that the gif is video game Joel, but god I love him just as much and it fits this scene so we are gonna roll with it. I know this might not be everyone’s cup of tea but I wanted to write it so I did. 🤌🏼 I am still organizing the taglist for this series, it will be start with the next chapter. This was mostly for me but hopefully some people out there enjoy it too. 🤍
You couldn’t scream.
You’re trying to cry out, but you can’t.
Chest tight, your lungs won’t expand.
You couldn’t breathe. 
One hand around your neck, the other is fumbling with the zipper of your jeans.
“Been thinking about this all day,” he grinned, his fingers roughly scraping against the skin of your lower stomach.
In the corner, your cellmate is curled into a little ball in the floor, hands covering her ears and her eyes squeezed shut.
She’s probably praying she won’t be next.
She’s seventeen so even in the midst of your own chaos, you can’t help but pray she isn’t next too.
You thrashed around underneath him. It’s futile, but all you can think about is getting him off you.
Grin fading, he let out a heavy, irritated sigh. His hand left the waistband of your jeans. He reached behind him and pulled out his gun, bringing it up to into your view—it caused you to cease any and all movements. “Listen to me,” he said, pressing the barrel of the pistol against your temple. “It’s simple, really. Keep squirming and I’ll blow your fucking brains out. Do you understand, dollface?”
When he received no response, he dug the barrel deeper into your skin, his finger on the trigger.
“Do you understand?” He repeated, his tone low.
Nearly paralyzed, all you could do was nod. 
“Good.” He roughly flipped you over.
The sound of his belt buckle clanking rang loudly in your ears. As he yanked your jeans down to the middle of your thighs, you closed your eyes.
Both your mind and your body went numb.
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A light, late night rainstorm came out of nowhere, sweeping over the town. The soft, pitter pattering sound of raindrops on the window above your bed had almost lulled you into slumber.
Almost.
You’re safe.
You’re safe.
You’re safe.
The words blended into a steady but silent chant.
You’re safe.
You’re safe.
You’re fucking safe.
Slapping the palm of your hand to your forehead, you exhaled a long, heavy sigh and stared up into the the darkness of the bedroom.
You couldn’t be certain as to what time it was, but it had to be well into the middle of the night. You’d been tossing and turning for a couple of hours but somehow it felt like a hell of a lot longer than that.
You were fucking exhausted. You nearly ached for some sleep, but every damn time that you closed your eyes, vivid images of the past came creeping in and chased it further and further away.
Your brain just couldn’t seem to wrap itself around the fact that this place wasn’t dangerous.
That you didn’t have to sleep with one eye open.
That nobody was going to hurt you.
That you were safe in a soft bed in a real house.
You weren’t lying on a dirty cot in a human cage.
Sighing again, you thought about Joel who was in his bedroom down the hallway, sleeping.
It brought you comfort knowing he was close. But for some reason you couldn’t quite explain, part of you couldn’t help but feel he wasn’t close enough.
You. The same woman who vowed never to trust another human being ever again—you wanted him fucking closer. Actually, it wasn’t a want so much as it was a need.
You needed him to be closer.
Sitting up, you tossed the sheets back and swung your legs over the edge of the mattress, your bare feet meeting the cold, hardwood floors. You stood and quietly padded out of the bedroom and down the hallway towards Joel’s.
“You know where to find me if you need anythin’,” he’d assured you before he had gone off to bed.
You stopped in front of his door and lifted a curled first, knocking lightly. About a minute or two went by, and just when you started to realize that you’d made a mistake and whirled around to make a run for it back to your own room where you could hop back into bed and pretend that the thought of this hadn’t ever even crossed your mind, he opened up his bedroom door.
“Thought I heard a knock,” Joel mumbled sleepily, rubbing at his eyes with one of his hands. He wore nothing but his sweatpants, his hair looking about ten times more disheveled than usual. “Everythin’ alright?”
You swallowed dryly, trying your hardest not to let your eyes wander away from his face—it proved to be almost too difficult to keep from staring. Joel’s shoulders were broad, his chest was wide, and his stomach was soft; his sweatpants hung on the low side on his hips and revealed the trail of dark curls that started at his lower belly and descended until it disappeared underneath the elastic waistband.
You caught yourself before they could go lower.
“Somethin’ the matter, darlin’?” he asked, stifling a yawn. Thankfully he hasn’t seemed to notice you gawking at him. He rubbed at his eyes once again and then observed you, trying to figure out what it was that had brought you to his room at this hour. “You need somethin’? Are you cold? Did you need an extra blanket?”
You lightly shook your head in response. No.
He tried again. “Are you still hungry?” he asked as he gestured towards the stairs. “I can make you another sandwich if you want—”
He was cut off by another shake of your head that told him that wasn’t it.
“You just can’t sleep,” Joel realized after a minute. He frowned—he could see how tired you were and for as much as he didn’t want to think about it, he had a feeling that he knew what it was that was on your mind and keeping you awake. “What can I do to help, sweetness?”
You blinked, standing there almost dumbfounded.
Clearly, you hadn’t thought this through.
You would knock on Joel’s door and then what?
You would talk to him about what’s on your mind?
Letting out a tiny frustrated huff that was directed at yourself, you waved a dismissive hand in the air.
Forget it. There’s nothing you can do.
As you turned around to leave, Joel reached out to take your arm. He curled his fingers lightly around your elbow. “Well now, hold on a minute. You’re at my door for a reason,” he said. He watched as your eyes flickered to his hand around your arm, but he couldn’t be sure if his touch had bothered you. He dropped it, not wanting to risk pushing you too far or crossing a line, not when he had made progress with you, progress he didn’t want to lose. “You not bein’ able to sleep—it have anythin’ to do with you still not feelin’ safe?”
You hesitated.
“It’s alright, darlin’. You can be honest with me.”
The sheepish expression on your face said it all.
No, I can’t sleep because I don’t feel safe.
“Would it help if you slept with me?”
You raised your eyebrows at him, eyes widening at his proposal. At least, the way he’d said it.
Excuse me?
Realizing how it had sounded, Joel flushed. “What I mean is, would it help if you slept in my bed?” He winced. That hadn’t sounded all that much better. “You sleep in my bed and I’ll sleep on the floor,” he sputtered out quickly. “That’s what I meant. That way I’m right next to you and you ain’t alone.”
Gnawing nervously on your bottom lip, you took a minute to think it over.
If you wanted him closer, this was your chance.
But why? Why did you want him to be closer? Why did you need to have him at your side?
You’d been on your own for an entire fucking year.
And it had been by choice.
You didn’t want to be around other people, sure as hell didn’t need to be around other people.
And then Joel Miller makes his appearance and all of a sudden, you’re at his door in the middle of the damn night because you feel the need to have him at your side?
Finally, you nodded your head. Okay.
“Come in.” He stepped aside, allowing you in. Not wanting you to feel trapped in his room, he left the door open. “And you’re free to go on back to your own room whenever you feel like it.”
Joel picked up his discarded tee shirt from earlier, a small labored grunt escaping him as he brought himself back into an upright position, the bones in his lower back crackling with protest. Turning over his shirt right side out, he tugged it on as you took a look around his bedroom, a larger space dimly lit by the small lamp on his nightstand.
That’s when you saw it.
Perched on a stand, it was nestled in the corner.
A guitar.
Curiously, you walked over and knelt in front of it.
You reached out and softly ran your fingers across the strings, smiling to yourself at the sound it had made.
“Found that while out on patrol with Tommy a few weeks ago,” Joel stated as he came up behind you slowly. “Gibson. Little worse for wear, but in damn good condition all things considerin’. Woulda been a crime to leave it out there,” he chuckled. “I know Ellie’s been wantin’ to learn, it’s the main reason it came back home with me. I haven’t shown her yet since I still gotta clean and polish her up.” He took a brief pause. “You know how to play?”
You ran your fingers across the strings once more, and a loud, terrible noise that wasn’t even close to music caused him to wince. You then looked up at him over your shoulder with an amused grin.
Does it sound like I know how to play?
Joel couldn’t help but laugh. “I’ll take that as a no, then.” He leaned over and picked up the guitar. He walked over and took a seat on the side of his bed, patting the seat beside him. “C’mere, sweetness.”
Getting up to your feet, you wrapped Joel’s flannel closer around your body as you padded over to his bed, perching yourself next to him.
Head down and focused, he began to strum a few notes. You couldn’t help but to be mesmerized by how his large hands moved on the instrument, the way his long, thick fingers—
Swallowing dryly, you cut the thought short.
Curiously, you put a hand on his shoulder.
Joel paused the tune. “What is it, darlin’?”
With your opposite hand, you touched your throat and then pointed at him. Can you sing?
He gave a half hearted shrug. “I do like to sing,” he admitted almost bashfully. “Always been fond of it ever since I was a kid.” He chuckled. “Before goin’ into construction, I wanted to be a musician. But I knew it would never pay the bills.”
You squeezed Joel’s shoulder and gestured to the guitar, then to his throat again. Will you sing me a song?
Joel felt the back of his neck burn and he cleared his throat awkwardly. “Normally, I would probably say no,” he admitted. “But, seein’ as you saved my life and all, I’d be a real asshole if I said no to you.”
Lifting your chin, you shot him a smug look. That is very true. So go on then, Johnny Cash. Play me a song.
“Alright. Any requests?”
You nudged him lightly. Very funny.
“Okay, um. Gimme a minute to think of a song.”
Withdrawing your hand from his shoulder, you sat back against his pillows and pulled your legs up to your chest, hugging your knees.
Nervously, Joel inhaled and exhaled a deep breath and began strumming the guitar. Chills shot down your spinal cord as a hauntingly beautiful melody filled his bedroom. He turned and angled his body towards to you as he began to sing.
“You’ve held your head up,
you’ve fought the fight
you bear the scars, you’ve done your time
listen to me, you’ve been lonely too long…”
Your mouth fell open slightly.
“Let me in the walls you’ve built around
we can light a match and burn them down…”
The rich baritone of his voice caused goosebumps to eruprt all over your flesh. Furiously, you rubbed at your bare legs, but it was useless.
With every note Joel sang to you, more appeared.
With every note Joel sang to you, the harder you found it to breathe steady.
With every note Joel sang to you, the more beats your heart seemed to be skipping.
“Let me hold your hand
and dance ‘round and ‘round the flames
in front of us, dust to dust…”
Joel glanced up, his dark brown eyes holding your gaze as he sang the final verse of the song.
“You’re like a mirror, reflectin’ me
takes one to know one, so take it from me
you’ve been lonely
you’ve been lonely too long.”
Even if you could speak to him, you would’ve been left speechless—all that you could do was stare at him in complete awe.
Joel set the guitar down. “I’m alright,” he said with a sheepish little laugh. “My voice ain’t nowhere as nice as yours.”
You stiffened slightly.
What are you talking about?
“Don’t look at me like that. I know it was you who I heard singin’ back at that cabin when I was comin’ back around.” He gave you a crooked grin. “Earlier I was just playin’ dumb, but I know it was you. You have a gorgeous voice, and I’d love to hear it again someday.”
Hugging your legs closer to yourself, you dropped your head down onto your knees, embarrassed.
What was the matter with you?
Here was a man who had taken you in, offered you a warm bed under his own roof—gave you clothes and fed you, even offered to give up his own damn bed and sleep on the cold hard floor beside you to make you feel safe enough to sleep.
And you still couldn’t say a fucking word to him.
“Hey. Look at me.”
Forcing your head up, your gaze met his.
“It’s alright, darlin’,” Joel assured you. “It’s just like I told you downstairs. We’re gonna take it one step at a time.” Lifting one of his hands, he reached out holding it out to you, his palm face upwards. “And I swear, once you find your voice, I’m gonna do all that I can do to make sure you never lose it again.”
Biting your lower lip, you placed your hand in his.
Joel have it a gentle squeeze. “Atta girl.”
Much sooner than you would have liked, he let go of your hand and stood up.
“We should get some sleep. You’re gonna need all the rest you can get before you meet my kid. Ellie. She’ll be here first thing and I should warn you she can be, uh, she can be a lot to process.” He let out an amused snort and reached for a pillow, tossing it onto the floor. “You can have all the blankets, I’ll just take this throw here—”
As Joel reached past you for a green flannel throw blanket, you grabbed his arm to stop him. His face was just inches from yours.
Close.
But again somehow still not close enough.
“What is it, sweetheart?” he asked, softly.
Warm and laced with mint from the toothpaste he had used to brush his teeth before bed, his breath tickled the tip of of your nose, sending a pleasant shiver up your spine.
Your eyes looked right into his as you scooter over to the other side of his bed—it was firm, cold. Like no one had ever occupied that space before. But it was foolish to think that a man like Joel Miller had never had another woman share his bed before.
You patted the spot beside you.
Sleep up here.
“You sure about this, darlin’?”
You patted the empty spot again. Yes I’m sure.
Joel squinted at you. “You ain’t gonna strangle me in my sleep, are you now?”
His half serious joke was met with a glare.
Keep it up with wise cracks and I just might.
He held his hands up in defense. “Just checkin.”
As you crawled underneath his dark green sheets, Joel slid into bed beside you, making sure to leave a good three foot gap between the both of you; he murmured a quiet goodnight and switched off the lamp on his nightstand before rolling over onto his stomach—not even two minutes later and his soft snores filled the room.
You turned onto your side, facing him. Through a beam of moonlight steaming in through a crack in the curtains, you could just make out the outlines of his facial features. He’d fallen asleep facing you.
Closing your eyes, your body sank further into the mattress, heavy with exhaustion.
Taut, tense muscles finally relaxed.
Tight jaw finally unclenched.
You’re safe.
You slowly started drifting off to sleep.
With Joel beside you, no nightmares came to visit.
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lovebvni · 5 months ago
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" ITS BRUTAL OUT HERE " - pick a pile
│ᵒᵖᵉⁿⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ...
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[ 🖊 ] created ⋮ 14.8.22
[  ] published ⋮  14.8.22
˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ꒰ ⌨ ✰ Arsyn   ⋆  ⁱˢ ᵗʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ··· ꒱ | ೃ࿔₊•
┊       ⋆     welcome to my blog !
┊     °
hey loves, so because i 1, got new tarot decks, and 2 want to call you guys out, im doing this. also - heads up before i even start - spirit said there's gonna be a pile where there are little/no callouts bc they're actually doing great. just some advice/motivation to keep them going
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Hello! Welcome to a pick a pile. This is a general reading, everything should be taken with a grain of salt. Hundreds of people may read this, everything I say in your pile(s) may NOT resonate. Today we don't have questions. we're just going callouts. so prepare yourself, i know some of yall are soft.
along with these questions i will give things that may draw you to your pile. the alice in wonderland tarot has different cards but pretty much the same meaning. dont be shocked if instead of the hanged man i say suspention or something like that. i will be using tarot and oracle cards.
now please take everything with a grain of salt!
breathe in, now out, now pick a pile or two.
pile 1 ; pile 2 ; pile 3
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hi pile 1!
confirmation for your pile: lowkey funny, life 'falling apart', consequences for your actions, business man/woman, equality, cycles, bakugou, passion, 'im always right, i know what im saying'
oracle: you are good enough - full moon in virgo
tarot: the hierophant, temptation, 7 of flowers, 5 of spears reversed, 9 of flowers
alright bros, the first thing i have to say is 1, you're not always the cause. bad things happen to good people and i know it sucks but it helps you grow. if only good things happened then you'd probably be boring as hell. i hear some of you guys can be because you cant keep a conversation going. the thing is, you may be a victim MOST OF THE TIME but that doesnt mean ALL THE TIME!! you can be wrong in an argument, you can be right in an argument. but it changes. you're a very driven, smart, confident person in most areas but that doesnt mean because you're the right person to be a firefighter but not a baker. 7 of flowers is saying dont back down from the things you KNOW you are right in, but when someone makes a valid point. take it, it can help you. being passionate is a good thing, but dont be ignorant.
temptation is something thats drawing you in, that one day will be negative. maybe its joining the football team but you'll get a serious injury. do not let anyone or anything tempt you that has high risks for pain in the long run. im not saying dont join that football team, but dont put yourself into situations that wont benifit you in the long run. there's a good and bad to everything. do not fall into or back into negative energies/things that didnt help you before. they sure as hell wont help you now
ngl i have no idea what this pile means during the second part
pile 2
alright so confirmation: tired, faking happiness, evolution, "PUT THOSE GRIPPERS AWAY", hawks, manifestation, abuse, Christmas, MHA, movies, memories, nsfw content, love desire, caring heart, makeup, procrastination, seven deadly sins
oracle: a time for healing - balsamic moon, expect powerful chance - new moon eclipse
tarot: 10 of spears, 7 of flowers, 3 of hedgehogs
so this is the pile whos done mostly nothing wrong. when i say mostly, i mean bc everyones made at least one mistake in their life. ofc theres still a callout. STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! STOP BELITTLING YOUR PAIN, YOUR TRAUMA, THE THINGS THAT HURT YOU MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY EVERY SINGLE DAY!! let go of the past, its gone. its ending. get over it. that friend isnt coming back, they weren't right for you. let go of the past, accept it, and move forward. thats just some advice.
pile 3
hey pile 3
confirmation: false/negative manifestations, intrusive thoughts, self destructive behavior, gay, peaches (that one song omg), yung gravy, emotions, love, communication or lack of communication, birthdays, parties, celebrations
oracle: believe in the impossible - blue moon
tarot: 2 of cups, 4 of flowers, knight of teacups reversed
okay i got flowers in every pile, anyways this piles energy is of a pair.. two people or two piles? maybe you picked another pile. but its a harmonious pair. you guys may be for a long time, maybe shifting together, maybe you work on a lot of projects together? i heard you guys dont talk much but when you do its fun. you guys are a great pair. hold on to each other. i feel like once this pile overcomes toxic/negative behaviors they will shift. it depends on how fast you get rid of them/start manifesting positively.
change the way you see things, the emotions and reactions you have to things that happen. if you wake up in your cr and not your dr say something like "bro what?? why am i in my cr? thats odd, hasnt been like this before." see everything that happens in a different light. if you think that you saw something that was a sign btw, it was. take it and use it how you think its fit. use your talents, you know you can! practice the fun things you want to do one day. practive makes perfect!! get off your ass and do something. vent through an art form. you dont have to use words. you're doing nothing right now. you NEED to do something, but take a break from stressing yourself. its not helping anything
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