#i lost some people really close to me like two days before and was recovering from a really physically taxing medical exam | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

eclipseberrycake · 14 days ago

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Poly! MoonBerryCake x Reader

I took some inspiration from @huneybeen who wrote this first so please please dont hate me but I've been thinking about them for the past 3 days and I needed to word vomit.

...K thanks bye.

Divider Credit: @sister-lucifer

☁ The dynamic of this alone is something I'd like to touch on especially because it's so fun to me.

☁ I imagine if anything the reader would be a common toon, so that changed things. You have two mains, Astro and Sprout, and two commons, yourself and Cosmo.

☁ You and Cosmo probably meet first because of that. You get close because of similar interests and stay close during runs.

☁ To add an extra layer to this, imagine Distactor! Reader too? Licking my fingers at this.

☁ Cosmo thought he had just gotten a new friend! He loves giving them treats and using them as a taste tester and even taking naps together wherever possible! It's great!

☁ Until...it's not? Why are you taking off? Why do the trinkets hooked onto your belt look suspiciously like the ones Goob and Tisha are known to use? Why are you actively getting the Twisteds attention?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

☁ The first time he sees you distract is a little stressful for poor Cosmo. The second you're back in the elevator and it clinks shut, he is whirling on you and demanding an explanation.

☁ He's so exasperated that he's left speechless when you simply smile up at him, still high off adrenaline, while talking a mile a minute about how much fun that was.

☁....Are you insane?

☁ That being said, after the fact, Cosmo is literally your personal healer. He is constantly fighting Toodles the other toons for heals, not for himself, not really, but so he's never left with nothing to give you.

☁ That's probably when he realizes he has an initial crush on you. He's mid-way through using a med-kit on you, on a floor high enough he can see the running starting to effect you. You're sluggish and fatigued and can't chug pop fast enough. It makes his chest ache at the sight before he's swallowing his nerves and wrapping his arms around you.

☁ "You're doing great. Thank you for the work you do."

☁ Feeling you melt against him made every grueling floor worth it in that moment. The draining yank of his own health leaving him to go to you through every new treat was far beyond repaid. He would do it a million times over for you if only for a smidge chance at this moment again.

☁ The run was finished soon after that, and you were quick to express your thanks towards him after that. Safe to say, if you thought he was clingy before, that was nothing. It's like he literally took an invisible chain and connected it between you two and you just haven't found it yet.

☁ He's always there with a smile and a treat and a snuggle if time and twisteds permit.

☁ Now, some world building for ya. I imagine that the OG Twisteds of the mains you see, are the real mains until that research is completed. Then Dandy lets you purchase an...un-twist antidote or something and that's when they come back. It's fun to me >:(.

☁ Following this, most people are gonna assume Sprout comes first.

☁ WRONG. I got Astro first so guess whose coming back. Astro.

☁ When Astro comes back, he's evidently shaken by the whole ordeal. The mains probably didn't know the commons overly well unless they were explicitly paired together. Like Sprout and Cosmo in that one animation, or Glisten and Vee, etc. Astro isn't seen with any commons, as far as I know, so he's probably a little lost and feels like an outsider.

☁ While he's recovering he's banned from any runs. Point blank period. However, that means he's alone while the commons are all out scavenging for research.

☁ Guess who comes in? Guess :)

☁ It's you!

☁ Unlike Cosmo, there are other distracting toons. Tisha and Goob both are more than happy to take some shifts while you stay back to recover yourself. Unfortunately, there's only one Cosmo, so he's left going on the runs as a healer and leaving you behind. You always see him off though, giving him pecks on the cheek before he's stepping into the elevator.

☁ You take the time to wander through Gardenview, eyeing each room as you pass before blinking at the infirmary. The new toon was in there.

☁ Astro half expected you to just continue on, regardless of if he was there or not. He was fine on his own, even if it wasn't his favorite. It reminded him too much of when he was... Of before.

☁ But you poked the top of your head in the doorway, your eyes being the only part of you visible. He blinked at the action, making eye contact. Your head tilted at the action and his own mirrored it. It made you giggle as you disappeared back around the door.

☁ Despite it, Astro found himself smiling at the action. what an odd toon you were.

☁ He never heard your footsteps disappear however, stunning himself when you popped your eyes back in, gleaming with mischief. The rest of you stepped in right after, pressing a finger to your lips with a humorous little wink. "Wanna sneak into the kitchen and steal some cookies?"

☁ Needless to say, he found himself in the kitchen, sitting beside you with a cookie jar shaped like a suspicious, rainbow petal'd plant sat between you munching on cookies that looked a little too familiar for comfort.

☁ You filled the silence whenever something popped into your brain, talking about things you felt he should know for whatever reason. He now knew all about Rodger and Glisten and Teagan's tension, which he wouldn't have guessed, and all about Gigi's...problem with misplaced objects. He even knew about your own rumors that laid hushed in the walls, spoken like they were about someone else.

☁ "Yeah! People keep saying Cosmo and I are a thing but he's never asked so until then, that's a no."

☁ He hummed at the time, even if some part of him felt a bit relieved at the information.

☁ By the time he was cleared to go on runs, you were bouncing up and down by his side excitedly, trinkets clinking from where you had hooked them onto your waist, with Cosmo excitedly grinning behind you.

☁ He liked seeing you two like that.

☁ Now. Sprout. Mr. Seedly.

☁ He's last to join. Astro helps with this tremendously. When you're downed from a surprise Shrimpo attack, clutching your arm as Ichor pooled over, Cosmo is quick to try and jump in to help, only for a twisted clone of himself to turn and lock in onto him.

☁ As much as I love to proclaim "Distractor! Cosmo!" he's not actually a distractor. So, he has to run to lose the twisteds quickly before getting bit himself. This is where Astro comes in. Not only does he quickly re-energize both you and Cosmo, he is able to give you a momentary heal, letting you run off, air horn blazing, while hiding in the back to turn his attention to Cosmo.

☁ Whatever pieces you or Cosmo may lose, Astro picks up. Yet, not all of them seem to click into place just yet.

☁ When the elevator stills and you all hear the telltale steps, Astro is quick to grab your shoulders and spit all sorts of warnings. "Watch the tentacles. You'll know where they're going to appear. Don't try to test them. It's not worth it." "He's slow but don't take that for advantage. He will find a way to keep up." "Ignore every other twisted. We can handle them."

☁ Blinking, he watched you slowly nod before blinking and giving a much more firm acknowledgement. "Understood."

☁ When the elevators opened, Astro watched as you quickly got Sprout's attention, darting around a budding pile of ichor before sharply turning the other way. The reason why quickly became apparent when a twisted Teagan turned the corner, which Goob quickly took away.

☁ Nodding to himself, Astro found himself turning to face Cosmo, who looked terrified at the what just happened. Did he look that way when Astro was...That way with him? He hoped not.

☁ Frowning, he gripped his blanket tighter before letting out a breath, extending one of his hands through the opening towards Cosmo. The other looked at it with wide eyes before his eyes upturned to look at Astro's. "I'll stay with you the entire time."

☁ They had to follow you after all.

☁ They stayed a good distance away from where you and Goob were distracting (which was rather entertaining to watch actually), grabbing capsules wherever possible and tossing healing treats to you both as you passed.

☁ It was a rather seamless process actually up until the elevator timer began, sending the other toons of the squad running. Cosmo, who had been waiting for Astro to finish the last machine, seemed to halt before Astro was urging him forward, steeling himself to stay behind. "They'll run out of stamina before getting to the elevator. We'll be fine!"

☁ Albeit hesitantly, Cosmo did turn and run, finding safety next to Rodger while Astro stayed a ways away outside. Goob was quick to return, free of twisteds, but looking no less stressed. "They were far! Sprout cut off their exit!" Goob quickly explained, twiddling his fingers in front of him.

☁ Astro nodded before instructing him to stand in the elevator as well just in case.

☁ As the seconds ticked down, Astro was seconds away from stepping just far enough to remain out of Goob's range just in case when you came skidding around a corner. He could tell you were running on low as you kept looking back, narrowly avoiding Sprout's clawed grasp. Waiting until you were close enough, he let his power thrum along the ground, watching as you immediately perked up.

☁ Goob took this as a signal, or maybe you gave him one, as you quickly moved to push Astro forward, right into the awaiting arms as you continued towards the elevator. Just as the elevator began to close, you dove, making it just under the steel metal as it slammed shut behind you.

☁ You were panting as you laid on the ground, the entire elevator silent save for your heavy breaths and the sound of Dandy preparing for his arrival.

☁ Cosmo was quick to jump onto you, hurling threats of no more heals if you ever tried anything like that ever again. You took it with grace, gently resting a hand on his head as he cried into your shoulder. Your eyes angled back, catching his and extending your free hand. "You can't fool me. I know that scared you too."

☁ If Astro moved forward to take your hand, sitting close enough to you his knees brushed your shoulders.

☁ You had gotten what you needed though, evident with the glower Dandy shot at you, hidden behind a plastic smile.

☁ Getting Sprout back was harder than getting Astro back, admittedly. You had explained that when getting a main back, you kept most of the toons behind simply for everyone's sake. Distractors, Cosmo and fast extractors was where you drew the line.

☁ Which Astro understood. But didn't like. However, that being said, his power made him a valuable asset, which he used to argue his point. When you acquiesced, he nearly cheered, triumphantly trekking into the elevator with Cosmo by his side.

☁ To say this was like the previous runs, but on some sort of crack would be an understatement. It was fast. It was grueling. It was a thing of constant motion with machines constantly being done and the elevator a repeating pattern of opening and closing.

☁ There were no jokes like usual. There was no chatting. There was a new tension among the people in the elevator, simply waiting for the countdown before starting it all over again.

☁ Cosmo ensured he stuck beside Astro the entire time, remaining a rock the entire time while you were busy. They kept close enough they could rush to you should the need arise, and have a few times, but stayed within hands reach of each other.

☁ By the time they reached floor 24, with all of you tired and injured to some extent, the sound of his steps were both a welcome reprieve and a dreaded expectation.

☁ You were the one trusted with the serum, clutching it tightly as you glared at the elevator before you were turning to look at Cosmo and Astro over your shoulder. "Stay safe, please. Don't wait for me."

☁ It was a harrowing ask, but not one they could linger on as the elevator opened and you took off.

☁ But then the lights went out.

☁ And then they heard Sprout let out a shrill roar signaling he spotted you.

☁ Then they heard the snarling of Pebble signaling he too also spotted you.

☁ That was all they needed before the group of them dispersed, eager to complete the machines as quick as possible before you paid the price for their lack of action.

☁ One by one each ticked off before the elevator was reopening and they all rushed back to the elevator. Goob, Cosmo and Astro stood right up at the lip of the elevator, eyes darting for you. You appeared much quicker, both Pebble and Sprout on your heels as you did.

☁ You dropped a quick smoke bomb, loosing both of their attentions as you quickly rounded around a counter. Pebble let out a snarl as he ran off in the other direction. He didn't get far before hearing you move and it was like a movie.

☁ You moved, launching at Sprout with the Serum poised and ready while Pebble snarled, rushing to catch you. You managed to catch Sprout, digging the spout of the needle into his neck before being chucked off, making you scramble as you quickly darted back around the counter. Astro let his power thrum as Goob snapped his arms out, Cosmo catching you as you ran into the elevator while Goob's arms snapped back. The elevator snapped shut as Glisten moved to end the run and send the elevator back up, both you and Cosmo moving to where Goob cradled an ichor riddle body.

☁ You quickly let Cosmo do what he needed too, diverging to wrap your arms around Astro, who's eyes were locked onto Sprout.

☁ He spent the night with you and Cosmo, both of which he dragged out of your rooms to sleep in his that night.

☁ Sprout's recovery is quicker than Astro's, as he's a toon made for healing. He's up and bitching before any of you can stop him.

☁ Cosmo is his first stop, duh, they're canonically very close, with Astro a close second as he would know the other main. But you? Sprout's got no idea who you are.

☁ So he's a little stand-offish. He sees you interacting with Cosmo and sees you with Astro, and both seem to thoroughly enjoy your company, but he also saw you when he was a twisted.

☁ You were a dumbass if he had anything to say about it.

☁ You'd see someone way down a hallway and risk running into a wall to avoid them getting maybe even possibly spotted. He'd seen you eat enough chocolate bars to make him sake just to stay just in front of Pebble. He'd seen you slip on a stray jumper cable only to get right back up and do the same thing when you rounded around.

☁ He wasn't sure he wanted that rubbing off on him.

☁ But you stuck around. When Cosmo wanted to bake, you were the first to get a bit of the final product. When Astro wanted a nap, you were right there with a blanket, acting as a pillow while you napped with him.

☁ Even on runs, you were quick to come to his aid, taking back the twisteds once he'd gotten his aggro-tapes. All with a stupid smile.

☁ He kind of hated that smile.

☁ Man this is getting LONGGG

☁ Anyway, how would you and Sprout bond? Uh, the common denominators silly!

☁ You were injured on a previous run, bad enough to warrant bed rest decrees from both Cosmo AND Astro. Lucky you!

☁ Sprout had only been cleared for basic runs and this was another possible retrieval run, which you heavily protested against with not only you injured but your second healer still on probation.

☁ Still, they went on with it. You and Sprout were left in the infirmary, awkward silence settling between you. Neither of you knew what to say from there. Your buffers were gone.

☁ With a huff, you sat up, running a hand down your face before turning to face Sprout. Who was watching you.

☁ He watched you like a hawk, watching as you swung your feet off the bed and slowly stood like a shaky new born fawn. "Cosmo's not gonna like that."

☁ You snorted at him, falling back onto the bed only to try again. Sprout's eyes narrowed as he scoffed. "Astro's not gonna like it either."

☁ You snorted again, finally finding your standing before turning to look at him, narrowing your eyes at him. "Are you coming with me to get cookies or not?"

☁ ...well, he can't say he didn't warn you. He did follow you to go get treats, acting as a crutch along the way simply for the reason he didn't want to wait for you to hobble along.

☁ That was the only reason.

☁ By the time you both got to the kitchen, munching on treats, you had picked up a fun back and forth with each other, trading quips as you dug into the cookie jar once more. You pulled out the last cookie, offering it to him.

☁ He looked at it before shaking his head, only for you to roll your eyes and split it in two. He took it with a grumble, scoffing. "I made them I can make more."

☁ "Gonna make them with Astro's face again?" You shot back with a grin, nibbling onto your own half.

☁ He gave an affronted gasp before the ding of the elevator was making you both look over, Sprout giving you a hand to welcome back the group. They hadn't been gone very long, so it either went very well or not well at all.

☁ It turned out be neither. The run had been called as they were unable to fall into a rhythm and Scraps and Brightney had gotten into quite the altercation.

☁ Both you and Sprout find yourselves looked for Cosmo and Astro, only to find them chatting near the entrance, completely fine. There's a moment between you and hi m, where you both side eye each other before you're reaching out and shoving him. Without trinkets you two are practically the same speed, only he has you outmatched with stamina.

☁ Which was his only hope as he stumbled, not expecting the dirty play, watching you take off towards them. He quickly caught up trying to shove you only for you to dodge him with a laugh.

☁ He knew he should've distracted more. He had gotten complacent with Pebble and was now paying the price for it. He should've known you were a dirty filthy cheater. He should've guessed.

☁ In a last ditch effort he launched himself at you, making you squawk as you both rolled forward, giving both Cosmo and Astro little time before the two of you collided into them sending the four of you into a heap of undignified limbs and cackles.

☁ I spent that entire time just developing that omfg and its already long. sobbing.

☁ Anyway how y'all get together is gonna be TBD bc my head is hurty and my tummy is empty. ~<3

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httpuckdrop · 20 days ago

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ashes – day 1

his eyes were stuck on you from the second you entered the club.

it wasn't a completely uncommon thing for you to have men staring at you in public places, especially not when you were out with your hot girlfriends, all wearing tiny dresses with hair fixed to perfection. nonetheless, you were more used to the men only ever entertaining the most gorgeous members of your friend group, and men losing interest after an hour of you not giving a shit about their longing gazes.

this specific one, however, didn't seem to understand the meaning behind your actions. nearing three hours after you first stepped into the room, you still caught him eyeing you up whenever you accidentally looked his way. could he not take a hint?

it wasn't like he wasn't hot enough for you – quite the opposite, to be honest. with his defined jaw speckled with just a faint hint of stubble, a smile that made something tighten in your stomach without him even trying, and those baby blue eyes (so bright they could blind you across the room), he could probably bag any girl in the world. he probably has, too, judging by the way he and his friend seem to think that they own not just the club but the rest of the world as well.

you're familiar with the type; likely some type of spoiled sports guys, celebrating a good game or season or whatever. caps on their heads, beer glasses in their hands, top buttons of their shirts undone. you truly couldn't care less.

the guy left your brain for a few moments when it was suddenly your turn to get your group a new round of drinks. you waited by the bar for a minute or two, and when the bartender was done mixing your round, he calculated the price for you before running off to get the card machine.

you really shouldn't have been surprised by the figure appearing by your side. you definitely should have figured out that he would see this as his chance.

"let me pay for the round." you hadn't heard his voice before, but you didn't need to – or want to, for that matter – look at him to know who it was. a mere shake of your head should've been enough, you thought. apparently not. "you're a group of like, what, six people? can't be too expensive, i'll handle it."

"i can handle it, too," you countered.

"i'm sure you can," he started with a chuckle. "but you shouldn't have to."

taking a deep breath, you finally turned to him, feeling the frustration building up in the pit of your stomach when your eyes met his because who allowed him to be this breathtaking up close? "i'm not looking for some sugar daddy, so you can leave."

his jaw dropped slightly at this, eyes widening and cheeks growing pink – or were they always that color? was it due to the alcohol or just the proximity to you? – but then he shook his head slightly to recover. "that's not what i meant," he said, and you almost believed the genuine glimmer in his gaze. "i just wanted to do something good, i don't know. i'm sorry if that came out wrong."

you couldn't help but nod at this, the corners of your lips curling up at the sight of his hand scratching the back of his neck. "don't worry about it," you assured him, wanting- needing to look away, but not finding yourself able to. he looked young, probably around your age instead of the typical nasty old men who liked to pick up pretty girls and brag about their wallets. his eyes were kind, gentle, the different shades of blue swirling around like a rough sea; easy to get lost in. the brown curls that poked out at the back of his cap were unruly yet soft, and in a weak moment, you found yourself wondering how it would feel to pull your fingers through them.

the bartender interrupted your moment – you weren't sure if only seconds had passed or if it had been minutes, hours – and a breath of relief escaped from you at the beep from the card machine after you tapped your phone against it. at the same time, you really didn't want to go back to your friends. you could spend your whole lifetime just staring at the man in front of you without being bored for even a second. you hadn't yet realized the spell you were under, or just how willing you'd be to agree to anything for him.

after making sure that the drinks were safely transported to your table, the man managed to lure you with him to his own table instead. most of his friends were gone by now, searching for single girls on the dance floor, and the three that were still sat there were too invested in a heated discussion about football to care even the slightest about you two.

he introduced himself as jack, 23 years old but turning 24 in the spring, the middle of three brothers. when you questioned him about sports, wanting to confirm your premature suspicions, he laughed and confirmed that he indeed "works with hockey", but never went any further than that. instead, he asked for your name, told you that it was beautiful and asked where you got it from. he asked to hear about your studies, seemingly authentically curious about your boring homework and annoying lecturers. he asked about your family, your childhood, your dreams.

no matter what story you told, he listened with great intent, that boyish grin permanent on his lips and a laugh never far away. jack looked at you like he was already in love with you; a look you're sure he has practiced for ages.

but at this point, you honestly didn't care.

after this, everything went by in a blur. one second, you were still just sitting on that couch in the club, chatting about anything and everything. the next, you were making out in the back of an uber, his calloused palms searching every inch of skin they could reach under your shirt. the next, your back met the covers of the bed in his apartment, dazed eyes watching as this masterpiece of a man climbed on top of you and leaned down to seal his lips against yours yet again.

his fingers left imaginary traces along your skin, his lips then following the path they'd drawn. you'd been in this position before, sure, but this sensation was new – something about him made it so different from anything you'd felt before. his touch drew out shallow breaths and sweet noises from you as he discovered your body, helping him understand how to please you the way you wanted.

the time spent with jack went on for hours, yet it was over in mere seconds. when he held you against his chest, you wanted nothing more than to stay there forever, to rest your head against him until the world collapsed under your feet, to feel his skin against yours until the end of time.

but you knew that couldn't happen.

so as soon as his low snores filled the air, when his breath became steady and you were sure he was asleep, you swiftly fled from his grasp.

getting dressed in a tight dress and your previously discarded underwear after a night like this was always awkward, and leaving a gorgeous man alone in his big bed always sucked. but you had no other option.

after closing his front door behind you quietly, you let out a deep sigh, as if to let go of what had just happened. you couldn't afford to let it stay on your mind, you couldn't obsess over it. there was no point. if you were lucky, you would never have to see him again.

unfortunately, luck has never really been on your side.

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dedexo · 17 days ago

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The Proposal

Timeskip Kenma x Fem Reader

Not proofread

“What's up bros It's Kozuken. Today, I have with me (he pulls the chair you’re sitting on in frame) my beautiful girlfriend, and we’ll be playing Minecraft together!”

The chat exploded with excitement and compliments. Kenma’s viewers loved it when you joined the stream even though it wasn't often. You only joined once in a while when Kenma asked you or on special occasions. You thought today's stream was just a regular stream, and Kenma only asked you to join because why not? However, Kenma had other plans in mind.

You guys have been dating for almost 5 years now and everything was going great, sure you had arguments here and there but nothing break up worthy. Overall, Kenma was pretty content with your relationship. The thought of marriage didn't even cross his mind until Kuroo brought it up randomly one day.

**********************************************

“Sooo when’s the wedding?” Kuroo asked while sipping his tea.

“What wedding?” Kenma asked with genuine confusion.

“Are you being serious right now?” Kuroo put down his tea and stared Kenma dead in the eyes.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Are you not planning on marrying y/n?”

“Oh….” Kenma sits there and ponders for a couple of seconds. “Well to be honest I didn't really think about marriage. It would be nice though, calling her my wife and all.” A slight blush appeared on his cheeks.

“Well you better get on with it, no girl would stay with you this long if she didn't think you were gonna eventually propose to her. And if you wait too long she might just leave you.”

**********************************************

And that’s how he ended up here nervously sitting with a ring in his pocket and you sitting next to him completely oblivious to his plan.

He planned to propose to you through Minecraft since it was the first game you guys ever played together, but throughout the whole stream, he kept questioning himself. What if you said no? Should he really do this on stream where millions of people can see? Should he have proposed a different way? What if you wanted some big fancy flowers on the beach kinda proposal? How would he recover if you rejected him in front of his fans? These thoughts plagued his mind until he realized that it was almost time for the stream to end. It was now or never.

“Before we end the stream there's something I’d like to show you y/n, follow me.” Kenma said sounding kinda uneasy.

“Okay!” You say with a bit of excitement. You noticed that he was acting kinda weird but you decided to ignore it thinking it was nothing and continued to follow him in the game.

He carried you to this super pretty area that was covered in flowers. You could tell that there was a sign in the middle of it but you were too far away to see what it said. Once you were close enough you finally read what it said.

“WILL YOU MARRY ME Y/N💍?”

It took you a couple of seconds to process what was happening. Is this for real??

You look over at Kenma and he is on one knee with a ring in his hand.

You sat there, hands covering your mouth, absolutely dumbfounded.

“Y/n, you are the best girl I could ever ask for, I love you with all my heart and I cant imagine my life without you in it. Will you marry me?

“OH MY GOD YESSSSS!!” You jump on him causing you both to tumble over.

You guys get up off the floor and Kenma slides the ring on your finger

The stream chat was exploding with congratulations and people laughing at the fall.

Kenma thanked his viewers for the support and ended the stream.

You two spent the rest of the evening celebrating and looking at wedding inspo on Pinterest.

_________________________________________

If you couldn't already tell I lost motivation at the end 🙃

#haikyuu #haikyuu kenma #haikyuu x reader #hq fluff #hq x reader #kenma fluff #kenma x reader #kuroo tetsurou #nekoma #haikyuu time skip #timeskip kenma #kenma x you #hq kenma #kenma one shot

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merakiui · 11 months ago

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maybe, i'm afraid.

azul ashengrotto x (female) reader cw: slight angst, nsfw, azul bottles his feelings and is insecure note - happy birthday to my favorite tako in the whole world. <3 may you have wonderful days forever!! // loosely inspired by lovelytheband's "maybe, i'm afraid."

i. spring - dancing in your party dress, you were singing me some frank sinatra as you wept. pull me close enough. it seems like we lost touch, so hold me as the record skips.

“Can you believe we’re gonna be fourth years?!” Kalim exclaims with wide, sparkling eyes. They look like twin garnets set into his face—polished jewels having caught the aquatic illumination from Mostro Lounge’s aquarium. “Time really does fly, huh!”

“Feels like yesterday,” Ruggie agrees around a mouthful of food. His plate is stacked as high as it can possibly get, piled with contrasting flavors. “Pretty crazy to think we’re all gonna be heading off in different directions soon.”

Jade nods. “Our school lives are as fun as they are fleeting.”

An odd quiet falls over the three of them, which is soon broken when Floyd drapes himself over the booth. He leans down to swipe a sliver from Jade’s plate. “Whatcha talkin’ about?”

“Just reminiscing.”

“Ah. S’bout that time, ain’t it? Gettin’ sentimental in the spring.”

“Makes sense. The semester’s ending and people are starting up their internships or going home. Really makes you think…”

Ruggie gazes at the group huddled near the bar. Riddle, Jamil, and a half-awake Silver chat alongside you and Azul. You seem to be in the middle of a riveting story, for your arms gesticulate wildly. Azul looks on with what Ruggie thinks is the most mushy-gushy, ooey-gooey smile he’s ever seen.

“We’re gonna come back in the winter, aren’t we?” Kalim asks, tilting his head.

“Indeed. For the cultural festival.”

“Yeah, that’s right! It’ll be fun to see you guys after so much time apart. Oh, we should all keep in touch! That way it’ll feel like no time has passed at all.”

“Perhaps not for us.” Jade follows Ruggie’s line of sight, landing on one person in particular. “For others, the gap is cavernous.”

“What do you mean, Jade?”

Floyd catches on then. “S’not our fault he’s not sayin’ anything.”

Ruggie shrugs. “It doesn’t concern me.” He pops up from his spot in the booth, grinning. “It’s been great and all, but I’ve gotta get my fill. Wouldn’t be right for a guy to skimp out when it’s Azul hosting.”

Giggling, Floyd waves him off. “You do that, Sharksucker.”

Kalim turns to the twins, brows raised. “You’re talking about Azul?”

“He’s been swept up in Shrimpy ever since. It’s been—how long now?—about two years or something.”

“Oh.” Kalim blinks back at him, slow on the uptake. And then, seconds later, it hits him. “Ohhh! He likes (Name)!”

“There ya go.”

“I’m afraid he’s yet to confess,” Jade adds around a bite of cake. “You should see the plans he’s drafted. Dozens of them, in fact. Each one is… Oh, perhaps I’ve said too much already.”

“I don’t get it. If he likes (Name) so much, why wouldn’t he just confess? Why make plans?”

“Wow, Sea Otter, you don’t play when it comes to feelings, do ya?”

“If it was me, I’d want everyone to know how much I care about someone.” To demonstrate this point, he cups his hands around his mouth and shouts, “You’re the best, (Name)!”

You glance past a now wide-awake Silver at the twins and Kalim. Mirroring his actions, you reply in a giggly voice, “Thanks! You’re great, too, Kalim!”

Beaming, he says, “See? It’s not so difficult. If Azul needs any help, I’d be happy to—”

Floyd throws his head back and cackles like a madman. “Not so difficult for you!”

Jade masks his amusement behind a gloved fist. “My, my. I think I’ve just witnessed the very soul drain from Azul’s eyes. You have quite the talent, Kalim.”

Kalim doesn’t hear the underlying meaning or the backhanded barb in his statement. “He’s got time, doesn’t he?”

“That’s what he keeps saying. But deep down he knows.” Floyd watches Azul hurry to recover his composure before anyone can notice. “He’s leaving for his internship after school’s over and then graduation’s next spring. He’s running out of time.”

“Does (Name) like him? Maybe she’ll confess before he does!”

“That’s just it. He doesn’t know what Shrimpy feels for him. Been driving himself crazy all school year tryin’ to figure that one out.”

“I suspect he’s grown excessively cautious as a result of his fear of rejection,” Jade explains, dragging his fork through the buttercream smeared on his plate.

“But if he confesses now and she doesn’t feel the same, he’ll have all summer to recover.” Kalim turns his stare on you next. “(Name)’s always been nice. I’m sure she wouldn’t shatter his heart.”

“When you’re Azul, even the tiniest push is enough.”

“Really? But he’s always so strong!”

Jade hums. “Three hearts are quite the boon-burden.”

“Only makes lovin’ someone that much worse. Cuz then you’re lovin’ ’em three times as much.”

“Isn’t that good? I think it’s sweet Azul cares about (Name) so much.”

“Sweet…” Jade shares a look with Floyd. Something unspoken passes between them. “Yes, I suppose that’s one way to put it.”

“Azul thinks it’s a pain in the ass. Throws him off his course and he loooves bein’ on his course.”

Kalim stares a moment longer. “Maybe he needs a push in the right direction.”

“Liquid courage works wonders—”

“—or gives way to woe.”

“Nothing like that.” He doesn’t elaborate further, instead getting up and padding over to the bar with a cheerful bounce in his steps. “Hey, everyone, let’s take a picture!”

Riddle welcomes him with a warm smile. “Ah, hello there, Kalim.”

“You seem to be enjoying yourself,” Jamil comments, arms folding across his chest. Which, arguably, is worse because it can only spell trouble should Kalim find himself inspired.

“Way ahead of you!” You hold your Ghost Camera up, turning the lens on Kalim. Lighting up like the very sun in the sky, he poses just as you snap a photo. It takes a few moments for it to develop, but once it does you hand it over to him for his perusal. “Looking good as always.”

“Aww, thanks! Okay, your turn next! Let’s get a big group photo and then individual photos.” With the camera now in his possession, Kalim’s free to fidget with it as he pleases. “Ooh, this is neat!”

“Careful with that!” Jamil bounds forward just in case. “The Headmage gave that to (Name). Don’t break it.”

“I won’t,” Kalim promises, holding it up to capture you and Jamil in its sight. “I think I’ve got it! Everyone, group up! Picture time!”

There’s lots of fumbling. An argument about height breaks out. Floyd pokes fun at Riddle for having to stand in front to account for his height. Riddle fumes, red with anger, and stomps his foot indignantly—all while insisting he’s still growing. You offer to stand beside him, but he hisses at you like a cat: “Don’t patronize me! I’m of perfect, healthy stature for someone my age!”

Kalim looks on from behind the camera. “Actually, can we get (Name) and Azul together first?”

Azul, who had been in the process of adding to the joke with a comment of his own, hesitates. He peers at Kalim, his walls rising. “Me?”

“Yeah! Only fair to put you front and center. You’re the host, after all!”

“Ah, right. Of course. But then—”

“Why me?” you ask, confused. “If anything, I should stay out of the picture. I’m not a third year like the rest of you.”

Kalim gasps, scandalized. “We can’t do that! It doesn’t matter what year you are. You’re still our friend, and parties are for everyone to enjoy.”

“Doesn’t that throw off the original plan?” Ruggie wonders, munching on a frosted donut.

“Kalim, we need to account for height. Riddle can’t stand in the back.” Jamil glances apologetically at Riddle. “That’s just the reality of it.”

Riddle huffs, refusing to dignify that with a response.

“I’ll stand in the front,” Silver offers.

“What? No, that’s not the issue here, Silver.”

“It’s not? I thought we were picking who stands beside (Name).”

“Ooh, I wanna stand with Shrimpy!” Floyd wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your head. “C’mon, Sea Otter, take our pic!”

Jamil sighs. “All of you…”

“Shall we take individual photos with (Name) first?” Jade suggests, smiling placidly at Kalim.

This time the message is received loud and clear. “Oh, great idea, Jade! Azul and (Name), could you stand next to each other?”

The group disperses to allow you and Azul to do just that. Rigidly, Azul steps closer. He keeps a healthy distance between your bodies, one Jade picks up on right away.

“Please smile and pretend like you love each other,” he instructs, to which Azul flusters.

“W-What? Jade, that’s—”

“C’mere, Ashengrotto! I don’t bite!”

With a joyous laugh, you wrap your arm around Azul’s waist and drag him in close. He stumbles, flushed in the face, just as the camera flashes. The corresponding photo slides out next, blank for a while. Eventually, the image begins to show up with striking clarity.

“How’s it look? Great, right?” As soon as it happened, it’s gone—your warmth. The comfort of being held. Azul almost pursues you when you release him from your grasp and move towards Kalim to inspect the photo. Thankfully, he catches himself. “Hey, this is nice! Good job.”

You and Kalim share a high-five.

“Me next, Sea Otter!” Floyd crowds in, baring his pointed teeth in an unruly grin.

With everyone’s attention on you, Kalim, and the camera, Azul’s left to stand behind in silence. Anticipating the rainless deluge, Jade lingers within earshot.

“I know,” he mutters in a brittle tone. “Don’t say a word.”

“Not a peep. Although if I may share just a tiny tidbit… Kalim offered some very helpful advice. You may want to hear it.”

Azul stares at him, stunned. “You told Kalim?”

“Not directly, no. It was implied.” Jade averts his mismatched eyes on purpose. “More or less.”

“I should’ve made you and Floyd sign NDAs…”

“Is it really so sensitive?”

“Yes! Yes, of course it is!” Azul deflates with a sigh, looking on mournfully. You’re trying to snatch the camera from Floyd’s hands. He holds it up and out of reach, laughing raucously. “What did he say?”

“If you confess now, you’ll have the entire summer to mend your tattered heart.”

Azul barks out a short, hollow laugh. “In an ideal world, that’s easy.”

“You’re making it more difficult than it needs to be.” Jade issues an encouraging smile. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

“Are you seriously asking that?”

“It’s just something to consider.”

A minute ticks between them. Jade watches the scene alongside Azul, delighting in distant chaos.

“I’m afraid, Jade,” he admits quietly, the confession as soft and fragile as a single breath. “She’s everything and I’m…nothing.”

Jade frowns in disagreement.

“I’ve looked at it from every conceivable angle. There isn’t any calculated risk to be made—no potential profit or success to be had.”

“Are you certain?”

“Very.”

“Well, it doesn’t hurt to get it off your chest. We have a few weeks left before the break. If not your heart, perhaps you could establish a means to communicate?”

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt… For the sake of networking—”

Jade chuckles. “Networking? Is that it?”

Azul scowls. “You’re awfully irritating tonight.”

“I’m not the one with his tentacles tied, hopelessly infatuated.”

“You—”

“(Name), there’s something Azul would like to tell you,” Jade announces, and you turn to look at him.

Azul thinks he should just go ahead and die right there. Is it possible to spontaneously combust if he thinks about it long enough? Is such a phenomenon magic? All he needs to do is visualize it and then the spark will catch and—

“Yeah? What’s up, Azul?”

Azul flounders, his concentration broken. Like he’s done so many times in the past, he plasters his trademark smirk-grin on and falls into the shoes of the sleazy conman. “If you ever find yourself in need of study materials even after I’ve graduated, do not hesitate to contact me and I—”

You laugh. “I think I’ll be good. Thanks, though.”

With withering confidence, he chuckles. “I could give you quite the deal. You’d be missing out…”

You roll your eyes, unconvinced.

Jade—annoying, asshole Jade—brushes past, smooth as sea glass. “I shall take my leave, but please continue your chat. I believe there’s a camera waiting to capture the memory of me.”

Now it’s just you and Azul. He clears his throat, suddenly awkward.

“(Name), I—”

“Azul—”

“Oh.” He stares at you, a smile twitching on his lips. “You first.”

“No, no, you spoke before me.”

“Ah. Well…”

If you confess now, you’ll have the entire summer to mend your tattered heart. As if a love that’s been flowering for two years could possibly be resolved within the span of a few months.

He tries again even though it’s not what he really wants to say. “I do hope you’ll have a pleasant summer.”

“You as well.” You nudge him. “Kick ass at your internship.”

“I intend to.” Right. Internship. Work. Business. He can hold a normal conversation if that’s the topic. “And you? Do you plan to stay here?”

“Yeah. Crowley’s letting Grim and me live on campus since we don’t have anywhere else to go. I’ll work part-time in Craneport. Summer is a great season for tourism, but I shouldn’t have to tell you that.”

Azul laughs. “If it’s a family, they may spend more on kid’s menus for the novelty of it all. Be sure to talk it up to truly sell it. All children deserve to know the magic of a seasonal menu, do they not? Food in fun shapes. Fairy tales and sparkles. All of that razzmatazz. It’s the experience they’re paying for, after all.”

“Is that advice free?”

“Is it?”

“Fine, fine.” You dig through your pocket and hand him the photo from earlier. “Your payment, good sir. A memento of me.”

Azul takes it from you, admires your effortlessly pretty smile, and then freezes. “Oh, I look positively dreadful!”

“Not at all. It adds character.”

“A horrid sort of character.”

You sidle up beside him, peering at the picture. “I like it. It’s a photo of an imperfect Azul.”

“What an ambiguous compliment.”

“I’m serious! It’s Azul when he’s not acting. I like imperfect Azul. He’s authentic. A real person.” You pat him on the shoulder. He stiffens, betraying his initial nonchalance. “Or maybe not. One day I’ll catch you off guard.”

“We’ll see.”

“One day…” Your attention is stolen when you catch sight of the group attempting to bunch together for a selfie. Offering Azul that same smile he’s admired ever since he saw it, you add, “Have a fun summer. Don’t be a stranger next year, okay?” And then you’re bounding across the lounge. “Wait for me! I want in, too!”

For the rest of the semester, Azul keeps the photo tucked away in his phone case.

I have time to mull over the pros and cons, he tells himself when he departs through the mirror, summer break at his fingertips.

ii. summer - maybe i’m just too good. maybe i’ll run away. maybe i’m over you. maybe i shouldn’t stay. maybe i just don’t care. maybe i talk too much.

It occurs to you, while sorting through the photos you’ve taken throughout this past school year, that there’s an absurd amount of Azul. Whether on his own or with others, he appears in more photos than anyone else. You wonder how that happened—how you managed to be there for so many of his moments, each one documented in photographic permanence.

Some of them are humorous. Azul looking unimpressed when you lifted your camera to capture him. Grim jumping into his arms to demand snacks. His glasses sitting crooked on his face. Some of them are endearing. Azul reading in a comfortable nook in the library. Azul smiling fondly at the lens during an alchemy lesson. Azul laughing after you cracked a joke during PE. Some of them are animated. Azul waving at you from across the courtyard. Azul rolling his eyes at a dull pun. Azul playfully blowing a kiss to the camera after you told him to do something memorable. Some are special. Azul in his birthday robes. Azul during that time Mostro Lounge became a butler café for one week. Azul on his last day of the semester, leveling the camera with a roguish smirk.

This one—the most recent and last photo taken of him—is especially important. It’s the conversation that prompted an unforgettable expression that fills you with butterflies whenever you recall it.

“I think you’ll miss me,” you told him, elbowing him for good measure.

“I think I will,” he replied, his lips curling.

Unequipped to deliver a witty retort, you could only gawk.

“Don’t tell me that’s all it takes to shock you into silence.” He chuckled, and there was that infamous smirk-grin—sitting so perfectly on his face, as if it was meant to be there for this very exchange. “You’re too easy, (Name). Where’s the challenge?”

Wordlessly, you raised your Ghost Camera and snapped his picture.

There are so many facets to his person that you’ve managed to catch on your camera—complex layers you wouldn’t have otherwise witnessed if you hadn’t spent so much time around him.

Now you realize why you have an abundance of Azul photos.

We sure hung out a lot this year, and every time I had my camera…

Is he your muse? Is he just naturally photogenic? He fits into plenty of backgrounds, but it’s never the scenery that fascinates and bewitches. It’s always his expression, his body language, his emotions. And the reason all of these photos are so important is because this is an Azul who is comfortable enough to show these sides to you. An Azul who wants you to document his best and his worst, his beautiful and his ugly, his silly and his serious.

Sitting at your desk, thumbing through stacks of photos, you know he’s more than a muse. As you watch Azul move in various pictures, you wonder what he’s doing. It’s only a month into summer, but everything feels so slow. Campus has cleared out, and with it the lounge has closed for the season. You’re certain he still has his ways of making profit and spreading word of its wonders. Azul isn’t foolish. He’s always working an angle. Endlessly clever and stubbornly ambitious.

Does he miss me, too? you think, running your finger over his smiling face. Or was that just something he said to get a reaction?

Just then, a gut-wrenching thought lodges itself deep: Are we even friends? What if he thinks I’m a nuisance? Maybe he’s just tolerating me and all this time I’ve been delusional.

You glimpse the photos again, watching Azul laugh soundlessly in an animated loop. What am I to you, Azul?

As if on cue, having sensed your sadness, arms wrap around you from behind. For a second you think it’s Grim, but then you see distinctly human hands clasping together. You whirl, startled out of your skin, to find Azul Ashengrotto standing there.

“Wha… What?”

He’s…here. Azul is standing in your bedroom.

You blink once and he remains. You blink twice and he’s still there, gazing down at you with soft, smiling features.

“Hello to you as well.”

“Hey…?” You pat his cheek and flinch away. “Oh, you’re real!”

“Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I be?” Chuckling, he withdraws and moves to stand at your deskside. “I’m wounded. To think you would forget me just like that. And I thought I was plenty memorable.” He blows you a mock kiss then, and that’s when it finally strikes you.

This isn’t your Azul. This is an Azul from your photos.

How is this even possible? you think, scrambling to find which picture—which memory—he’s from. In doing so, you remember a particularly unique fact about the Ghost Camera. It’s a magical device that allows a photographer to capture slivers of their subject’s soul, which gives way to a special sort of connection known as a soulbond. The deeper the bond, the more likely the person in the photographs is to take on animation and, in some cases, slip out of the image that contains them.

So this is Azul from the time at which he was last photographed, you determine, holding up pictures to match his corporeal likeness to that of the scenery. The Ghost Camera is so cool…

“I missed you, you know.”

“Did you now?” He leans in close, curious. “How much?”

You push him away with a weak scoff. This isn’t good for your heart. Any closer and you might say something you’ll come to regret.

“Not as much as you think.”

“Is that so?” His gaze pans over to the pile of photos on your desk. “And these photos are simply here for convenience?”

“D-Don’t worry about it! Summer project. You wouldn’t get it.”

He flashes his teeth at you in a bright, competitive grin. “Try me.”

“You’re so nosy. Don’t you get tired of prying?”

“Not in the slightest.” He leans against the desk, his arms folding casually over his chest. “That’s besides the point. You’re avoiding the subject at hand.”

You turn in your chair and open your mouth to reply—why are you so invested in this?—but a better idea crops up. Meeting his cerulean stare with fierce, fiery eyes, you challenge him: “If it matters so much to you, I could be convinced to share my plans for the small price of one kiss. A real kiss. Not that fake one from before.”

Azul blinks back at you, a smirk crawling onto his face. “Is that all you desire?”

“What do you mean by—”

Your question is cut off when another set of arms embraces you from behind. Warm, soft lips press against your cheek; his breath tickles your ear.

“Are two not better than one?”

With a yelp, you jerk back so fast that you almost fall out of your chair. Standing there, looking very proud of himself, is another Azul. But this one, unlike Dorm Azul, is dressed in his school uniform. A very helpful distinction.

“D-Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

It’s the only coherent sentence you can manage. Your mind is a panicked muddle: I can’t believe it. Two Azuls. Am I dreaming? This is definitely a dream, right? There’s no way he’d kiss me on the…

You slap your hand over your cheek, gasping. “Y-You kissed me?!”

“Is that not the price you wanted me to pay?” School Azul asks, one brow raised as if daring you to deny that fact.

Dorm Azul’s fingers curl under your chin, guiding your gaze towards him. “Unless you’d like to raise the price…”

You swallow thickly. This can’t be happening.

“Of course, in raising the price, it’s expected you raise the value of the information you’re willing to divulge,” School Azul adds with a chuckle. “Is that not fair?”

You shrink under both of their insistent stares. “W-Why do you even wanna know?”

“Why not? Any information is good information so long as it’s useful.”

You scoff, but it comes out choked and shy. “I… I’m going to use these photos to put together a present for you. I know your birthday’s so far away, but I’m getting a head start.”

“And this present would entail…?”

You click your tongue at him. “I already paid my half for that kiss. No more.”

“Aah, is that right?” Dorm Azul leans in, kissing dangerously close to your lips. You reach up to touch the corner of your mouth after he’s pulled away. “How much for the full story?”

“How much are you willing to pay?”

School Azul rests his chin on your shoulder. His hands settle on your waist, pulling you up from your seat. This proximity allows you to feel his hair as it brushes against your face. Dorm Azul closes the distance as if it’s second nature, and now you’re sandwiched between the both of them.

Your heart stumbles in your chest. He’s quite literally surrounding you, but you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

“A very valid question.” Dorm Azul glances coyly at School Azul. “What do you think, Me?”

“Will we be enough for you, (Name)?” he purrs, rubbing slow circles into your hips.

You’re dizzy in their arms, your entire body warming with anticipation and embarrassment alike. Is it okay to be selfish? Even though this isn’t technically Azul—just mere memories of him—it seems so real. He’s holding you, touching you, reaching for you…

“Hmm. Two does seem to be a bit much.”

“Let’s call it a holiday and say it’s seasonal spoiling.”

“A gift for the summer.”

“Do open the window to let in the breeze. The heat is prone to making one feel rather…stuffy.”

They’re doing this on purpose. Maybe another Azul is more troublesome than I once thought. I can only handle so much charm!

Shrugging off self-doubt, you grab Dorm Azul by his lapels and yank him towards you, sealing the space that once separated your mouths in a hungry kiss. He melts against you, eyes fluttering shut. It’s quick and starved, the way you chase each other’s lips. You cling to him before you can fall, arms looped around his neck to keep him near.

Fully clothed and achingly desperate, you loathe the unbearable heat, but nothing is more molten than the space between your thighs.

Meanwhile, School Azul takes his sweet time running his hands along your sides, up the length of your body until he reaches your chest. With his form pinned to yours, you can feel his erection pressing against your ass. Rather shamelessly, he rolls his hips. You’re pushed up against Dorm Azul next, who takes hold of your hand and guides it to the strain in his slacks. He pulls away briefly to allow School Azul to slide your shirt up and over your head.

“Were you anticipating this?” he whispers, taking hold of your breasts.

“No way,” you protest between kisses. “Not… No. K-Keep dreaming. It’s too much trouble to wear one in the summer. Gets hot and—”

Dorm Azul captures your lips in another ravenous smooch, and the objection dies in your throat.

“There’s no need for these pesky articles where I’m from,” School Azul murmurs. He presses kisses into your bare shoulder, humming his very obvious delight. “You’d have already been laid out beneath me if that were the case… Soft and sweet, all mine to love at the bottom of the sea…”

“Humans have so many steps,” Dorm Azul laments, tutting.

“And merfolk don’t?” You try to sound smart with your question, but it comes out breathless when your nipple’s twisted between two fingers. “Oh…”

“Not when it comes to clothing. The very concept doesn’t exist beneath the waves.”

“You could visit sometime and see for yourself. I’ll welcome you with open arms.” Dorm Azul rests his forehead against yours. “And maybe then you’ll find yourself so taken with my home that you’ll want to stay.”

“A tempting offer.”

“But?” he prompts, his gaze falling to your hand as you palm him through his pants. He inhales a shaky breath.

“What’s stopping you?” the other Azul asks, his voice muffled in your skin.

“Firstly, I’m not a mer.”

“My dear, that’s nothing. Have you forgotten my proficiency in potionology?”

“And how much will one of your potions cost? I’d love to visit, but if it’s going to bankrupt me—”

“For you, a single kiss is all I require.”

“Isn’t that awfully cheap?”

Dorm Azul chuckles at this back-and-forth. “You say that as if you want me to charge an exorbitant amount.”

Glaring, you squeeze him out of revenge. His laughter comes out choked next, replaced with a needy whimper. Unbelievable.

“Maybe I do.”

“I would be careful with those words, dearest. I might take them to heart.”

He ruts against your hand, panting into your mouth. The kiss is sloppy and wet, all tongue and saliva. You move on instinct, grabbing at his shoulders when you’re taken to bed next. Both Azuls peer down at you from where they kneel on either side of you. They issue you hazy, lust-drunk smiles. Hands wander, feeling every inch you have to offer. You shut your eyes and submit to titillating touches.

“You really did miss me,” School Azul remarks when his fingers slip into your shorts to rub you through your sodden panties. Your breath hitches, a strangled whine squeezed from your throat, and he laughs. “I missed you, too.”

“I really like you,” you blurt, chest heaving with your every breath. He squeezes your clit to draw another sinful groan from you. “I think—Azul, you’re so—I think you’re so amazing… I wish we talked more. The year—aah… It went by so fast.”

“It did, didn’t it?”

“I wanna know you—the real you. I wanna know what Azul’s like when he’s comfortable and when he’s sad and when he’s happy. I wanna—ooh! Please… Please, Azul…” You grab fistfuls of the sheets, arching up towards the hands that caress your stomach lovingly. “I just want you.”

“And you’ll have me,” he—you’re not sure which—promises, leaning over to kiss you. It’s soulful passion, lust bleeding into love. Your cries are lost on his lips when you come undone beneath him, buoyant on a mellow wave.

You sense the loss before you see it.

Half-nude and gasping for breath, you stare up at the ceiling. Your bedroom is empty. All that remains of the Azuls are the animated memories imprinted on the photographs.

“I’m losing my mind…” you mutter, draping your arm over your eyes.

Please let summer pass quickly.

iii. winter - maybe all we are is fools with hearts that tried too hard. and maybe that’s just fine as long as you’re here in my arms.

Azul paces restlessly in his VIP room. It’s been months since he’s seen you, but his heart hasn’t swayed in the slightest. If anything, he’s only grown fonder in the time spent apart. Absence… What a bothersome thing.

“You’re gonna walk yourself into the floor, y’know. Your shoes’ll be all worn out by the time you’re done.”

“I’m aware,” Azul quips, uncharacteristically jittery. He turns towards Floyd. “Do I look presentable? Is anything crooked or misplaced? How about my hair?”

“You’re fine.” At Azul’s disbelieving glower, Floyd pouts. “I mean it. Shrimpy’s gonna like it either way.”

He bristles, defensive. “Who said anything about (Name)?”

“No one, but you’re thinkin’ it.”

“I… T-That’s besides the point! It doesn’t matter. She’s only here because I invited her. Common courtesy and all that.”

“Mm, I dunno about that one.”

Azul frowns at the vault set into the wall behind his desk. If only he could pack all of his fears in there and lock them away for good. Then he could continue masquerading as someone fearless and confident. With winter having descended upon campus, bringing with it layers of fluffy, glittering snow, and the cultural festival having concluded successfully, Azul finds himself lost.

This is the last birthday he’ll celebrate at Night Raven College and, subsequently, the last February he’ll spend with you. He’s running out of time.

“Invitation or not, Shrimpy’ll always wish you a happy birthday. S’not like her to forget. Plus, she cares about ya.”

“You can’t be sure of that.”

Azul’s tone is so sharp that Floyd raises his hands in defense. “Guess not.”

“What would you do?” He inhales a wobbly breath. “If you were in my shoes…”

Floyd scratches the back of his neck, contemplative. “Dunno. Guess I’d wait for the right moment and say somethin’ to get it outta my system.”

Azul sighs. “Jade said something similar.”

“He ain’t wrong.”

“I’m not prepared.”

“No one is.” Floyd smiles at Azul’s baffled expression. “C’mon, Azul, you can plan all you want, but you know life’s never gonna go the way you want it to. S’just how it is.”

“Even so, it’s better to know all viable routes and options before diving into uncharted waters.”

“That’s just it. You can’t know. S’kinda the whole point, ain’t it?”

“I can’t do it,” he decides, the words heavy on his tongue. “I’d rather accept my future failure now than continue working towards it.”

“Like a coward.”

“Far from it! In business, that’s known as rescission. It is a completely valid method of—”

“You ever realize your feelings and business are two separate things? Not everything’s gotta be about business.”

Azul stands there, nonplussed.

Floyd makes for the door, stopping only to add, “Your fly’s unzipped, by the way.”

“You—” He scrambles to check. Much to his relief, it’s not. “Honestly… That’s not even funny.”

He smooths nonexistent wrinkles, schools his expression into something brave, and exhales slowly. I’m not going to ruin an occasion as grand as this with a half-baked confession.

Having made up his mind, he steps through the door out into the bustling lounge. Like clockwork, all eyes turn to him. He searches the crowd for you, hopeful. But before he can locate you, party poppers resound with a loud bang. Confetti trickles down like colorful rainfall, landing on his suit and getting stuck in his hair.

“Happy birthday, Azul!”

He wants to run and hide. He wants to dive into the sea and seek solace in his favorite octopus pot. He wants to bury himself in the sand and disappear.

Instead, he smiles and spreads his arms like he’s just pulled off an astounding magic trick. “Why, thank you, everyone! I’m pleased you could make it. Do enjoy yourselves to the fullest tonight.”

Cheers erupt amongst the partygoers, but they might as well be on a completely different island. Azul turns, hoping to make his rounds and escape, but Kalim intercepts him. Jamil isn’t far behind.

“Azul, happy birthday!” Kalim smiles just as Jamil catches up.

He passes two expertly wrapped gifts into Azul’s empty hands. “On behalf of Kalim and myself, thank you for the invitation.”

“Yeah, super thanks! It’s been so much fun. I hope you’ll like your gift, but if you don’t just let me know and I’ll get you something else. Whatever you want! You deserve it on your special day.”

Azul looks past him, not in the mood to entertain. “Yes, of course. It’s not a problem.”

Jamil raises a brow, but then it clicks. “(Name) wanted me to pass on her regards.”

As expected, that draws his attention. “Why’s that?”

“She wasn’t sure if she’d get to see you on your big, busy day.” Jamil eyes Azul knowingly.

Kalim nods. “We ran into her on the way here, but she said to go on without her.”

Azul doesn’t like the way they’re both looking at him—as if they’re in on some joke he’s not currently aware of.

“Well,” he says, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “her regards are well-received.”

“You’re not going to meet her?”

“It’s my big, busy day, isn’t it? I’m afraid she’ll have to catch me at her earliest convenience.” Azul, gifts in hand, smiles. “Please do enjoy the party, you two. Thank you again for your thoughtful gifts and birthday wishes.”

On his way to the table designed for gifts, Azul spots Riddle, Silver, and Ruggie. They stand off to the side, chatting amongst themselves. He supposes, if anything, he might as well say hello. Setting the gifts down, Azul struts over.

“Good evening, gentlemen. I do hope you’re enjoying yourselves.”

“You know it. Parties at Octavinelle are always somethin’ else,” Ruggie says. Unsurprisingly, he’s done well to fix himself a plate and more. With him around Azul doesn’t have to fret over food waste.

“Your presentation at the cultural festival was very informative, if I may say so,” Riddle commends, sipping his fizzy beverage.

“As was yours.” Azul’s smile tightens. For some reason, he’s always felt the need to walk on eggshells around Riddle. And for good reason, too! Whatever Azul seems to accomplish, no matter how lofty a feat, Riddle seems to do better. “I’m sure you’ve had quite the rewarding experience yourself.”

“Indeed.”

“It’s good timing,” Silver notes, and all eyes drift towards him. Azul perks up. Timing. He needs more of that. “Your birthday came right after the festival. It’s almost like celebrating your hard work and another healthy year all in one.”

“Never thought about it that way. Guess it makes sense when you put it like that.” Ruggie grins cheekily. “Lucky you, Azul.”

“I wouldn’t call it luck. The dates just happened to align… Either way, thank you, Silver. I’m pleased you can look at it with such inspiring positivity.”

“You catch up with (Name) yet?”

“No? Am I meant to?”

“Just asking.” Ruggie shrugs. “She had me run a few errands for her yesterday. Said it was all for your sake, but when I tried to get more info outta her she told me I’d have to wait for ‘the big reveal’—whatever that is.”

Now everyone’s looking at him. Azul feels small.

“With how often I’ve heard her name tonight, I’d think she’s the one with the birthday.”

“Is she really so popular today? Odd. I haven’t had the chance to greet her,” Riddle muses.

“I thought I saw her this afternoon.” Silver furrows his brow, uncertain. “She seems busy.”

“Which is precisely why I can’t fathom the insistence that I ought to have met with her already.”

Ruggie tilts his head. “That the only reason?”

Just how many people are in on this asinine joke? More importantly, which eel is he going to have to wring out for spilling a not-so-secret secret?

Azul realizes his mask is slipping and so he repairs it expertly. If Ruggie takes notice of this, he doesn’t say anything. “It’s bad manners to show up late to a party. I’m sure one of us will agree.”

Riddle nods, but his words are surprisingly lenient. “Life happens. I suppose we can’t fault (Name) entirely.”

“She’ll make it. I’m sure she will. Don’t worry, Azul,” Silver reassures.

He’s not. He won’t. He isn’t.

“If the world was ending tomorrow,” Ruggie says, sliding into a new subject with practiced finesse, “what would you all do?”

“The end of the world…” Riddle frowns. “That’s impossible.”

“It’s a hypothetical. Anything’s possible.”

Silver hums thoughtfully. “I’d spend what time I have left with my loved ones.”

“You sure you’re not just gonna go running back to Briar Valley to protect Malleus?”

“As a guard it’s my duty, but fighting against the inevitable would be pointless.” Silver looks to the rest of them for their input. “If the world is ending and there’s nothing a guard like myself can do to prevent it, then I can only offer what’s left of my time.”

“So companionship. Okay, good to know. What about you, Riddle?”

He huffs. “I refuse to let the world end before I’ve accomplished my goals.”

“Yikes. You academic types don’t rest, do you?”

“No, no, it’s true,” Azul pipes up. “I agree. Why am I going to let the world get in the way of my plans?”

“So both of you are going to resist it until the very end?”

“You said anything can happen in a hypothetical, yes?” Riddle smirks. “In my hypothetical the world says it’ll end tomorrow, but it never does. It keeps saying so like it’s a faulty forecast. The end of the world is scheduled for next week, the week after, three weeks from now. By then, a year’s passed and the world still hasn’t ended.”

Ruggie groans. “That defeats the whole purpose of my question. You can’t give yourself more time when it’s already so limited.”

“Anything is possible if you know what you’re working with,” Azul adds, nodding alongside Riddle. “I quite like this hypothetical.”

“Leave it to the honors students to logic it out and make it more complicated than it needs to be…”

“You wouldn’t spend it with your loved ones?” Silver asks, but it appears as if the question is directed entirely at Azul. “I think I’d want to tell them the things I never got to say. Things I put off saying… Would you do that, too, Azul?”

“I…” He shuts his mouth and then opens it. “I’m not sure what I could possibly say within such a limited timeframe.”

“It doesn’t have to be complex.”

“I guess a good, old ‘love you lots’ is better than nothing,” Ruggie says.

Azul stops short. The end of the world. Time. Loss. Loved ones.

Time! He’s running out of time!

“Well, this was quite the lively discussion, but I’m afraid I’ll have to excuse myself now. There are a few more people I must meet.” Azul smiles gratefully at the three of them. They wish him another happy birthday before he finally departs, his heart in his throat.

He’s running out of time.

Logically, Azul knows the feeling doesn’t reflect his reality. It’s not as if he has to confess by the end of the school year. Logically, he has his entire life to confess. But who’s to say you’ll stay in his life after he graduates? You might be gone by the time he finally finds the right words, the right time, the right circumstance.

You can plan all you want, but you know life’s never gonna go the way you want it to.

Floyd’s right. There’s no way of knowing for sure until he does it. There’s no way to know what lies in those uncharted waters until he dives in. There’s no way to know where your heart lies until he confesses.

The world isn’t going to end tomorrow, but if he doesn’t say what he needs to before graduation he’ll never have another chance. And then that world—the world contained within NRC’s boundaries—will implode and that will be that.

At that very moment, a camera flashes. He spins around to search the photographer out and—

There you are, striding through throngs of people to reach him. There you are, dressed for the occasion. There you are, wearing that pretty smile he sees in his dreams.

“Happy birthday!” You turn the photo towards him for his viewing pleasure. It’s of him, staring off into space. He looks so stone-faced with his knitted brows and pursed lips. “Sorry about showing up late. I had to add the finishing touches to your present.”

You hand it to him. The amateur wrapping job makes the gift appear more lumpy than it actually is. It’s heavy like a textbook. Shaped as such, too. Azul wonders what its contents could be. Perhaps something relating to economics? A novel in a particular genre?

“Thank you very much. I’ll take good care of both.” He tucks the picture into his breastpocket, battling the urge to tear into your gift now. He needs to know. What did you get him? What could it possibly be? “I’m glad you could make it.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

“Even if the world was ending?”

“Uh… What?”

“Ah, never mind that. It was simply a lingering thought from a previous conversation.”

“That’s so grim! And on your birthday, no less.”

Azul waves his hand through the air. A playful smile draws his lips apart. “Can you believe Riddle said he’d make the apocalypse wait on his behalf?”

“Seriously?” You snort, eyes brightening with amusement. “Even the apocalypse gets a schedule…”

He barks out a laugh. “Insanity, isn’t it?”

“Maybe for us, but definitely not for Riddle.” You glance at him. “What about you? What does Azul Ashengrotto’s last day look like?”

He intends to answer with something prepackaged: Awash in success until the very end!

“Alone.”

“Really? No friends or family by your side?”

“Would that make it better? Perhaps being surrounded by others only intensifies the dread.”

There’s some sort of symbolism in coming into the world alone and going out the same. Azul just can’t quite phrase it eloquently.

“Maybe there’s no right answer. Maybe there’s not any comfort in it either.” You run your fingers over the edges of your Ghost Camera. “We can’t know what lies ahead until we’re there. Maybe that’s why we spend so much time theorizing.”

“Quite the insightful judgment.”

“For the record, I wouldn’t mind being your plus-one for the end of the world.”

“I’m flattered.” He grins. “I shall be yours in return.”

“No strings attached?”

“All the strings attached. So many,” he exaggerates.

“No fair!”

Silence fills in the cracks. You stand side by side, drinking in Mostro Lounge’s upbeat atmosphere. After some time, you nudge him.

“Look at us, speaking about all of these sad things. It’s your birthday, not a funeral!”

He wonders if now’s a good time. Should he lighten the mood and confess? But wouldn’t that just make it even more serious and somber? Is there ever going to be an opportune moment?

You can plan all you want, but you know life’s never gonna go the way you want it to.

Surprises. Spontaneity. Luck. All things left to chance. All things Azul attempts to anticipate. He thinks back on the many plans and what-ifs he calculated and wonders if it was worth it.

“(Name), I just wanted to say—” He stops himself, his fingers curling around the gift cradled in his arms. I love you and I want you in my life. I don’t want the world to end here with you and me. I want to know what lies beyond and experience it with you—the good and the bad. Everything. “I just wanted to thank you.”

For being my friend. For being yourself. For existing in the same world as me, even if it feels like we’re doomed to be islands apart.

“What’s this? Genuine thanks? Am I going to find an anemone on my head next?”

“That can be arranged. Isn’t it tradition to grant the person of the hour one birthday favor?”

“Hah! You wish!”

I do. I really do.

The party wears on into the night. Azul repeats the same mantra as before: I have time.

When he’s in his room, gifts piled high on his desk, he sits back in his seat and carefully unwraps yours. It’s a book, leather-bound and regal. It looks expensive. While attempting to approximate its value, he reads the title spelled out with alphabet stickers: My Azul. His brow furrows. Just what are you playing at here?

Cautiously, he opens the book to the first page. Your writing winks back at him: Happy birthday, Azul! This is my gift to you. It’s a chronological journal of your school life! :D People often say it’s difficult to picture themselves through the eyes of others, so I wanted to show you what I see every time I look at you. I hope you’ll never forget just how important you are. If you ever do, open this book to remind yourself.

With love always,

(Name).

“Curious,” he mumbles, flipping the page. The layout reminds him of a scrapbook. You’ve decorated it with stickers and patterned tape, scrawled words in different colored inks. There are two photographs—each from Azul’s second year. He’d forgotten about these. That time it snowed so much the students had a snowball fight in the courtyard. That time an alchemy accident (courtesy of Grim) led to Azul speaking in cat for the rest of the day.

In the center, a small blurb reads: My Azul is terrifyingly good at making snowballs within record time, just as he’s terrifyingly good at marketing them at all the right moments. My team was totally losing. Leave it to Azul to swoop in when he knows it’s advantageous… He’s intelligent and passionate. Even when mistakes occur, he works through them effortlessly. (Although it was nice having Catzul for a day!)

He rolls his eyes at that last bit.

The next page displays photos in much the same fashion. You’ve clearly put lots of effort and thought into each arrangement. Azul feels like he’s walking through a museum with every page. Like the first, the rest of the pages that follow include photographs of himself (some with others and some with you) and a short paragraph describing your observations.

His eyes are on the verge of a typhoon as he soaks in every sugared sentence.

My Azul is strong. My Azul is silly. My Azul has the best laugh. My Azul is great at bargaining. My Azul is awkward. My Azul is clumsy (in the best ways). My Azul is resourceful. My Azul makes the best study guides (thank you!!!!). My Azul is a hero. My Azul never gives up. My Azul is a talented mage. My Azul is…

All of these things he’s never heard anyone acknowledge before—have you always seen him in this way? Is this truly what he’s like through your eyes? He finds that hard to believe, and yet there he is on the page, winking at the camera or posing in an outfit from one of the many school trips he’s attended. You’ve added little comments and doodles in the margins and corners. Azul smiles as he reads them.

Noble Bell College sure was something! I’d like to visit again one day…

Vargas Camp was exhausting! I still can’t believe we survived.

Halloween! I want to experience it in the Coral Sea one day. But maybe just for one night. An endless Halloween is too much…

The ceremonial robes are very pretty. They’re so different from the uniforms in my world.

Happy Beans Day! Azul prepares all year for this. That level of commitment is impressive!

Azul reaches the end with watery eyes. He sniffles, so enveloped in a love he’s never felt from any friend before. You care. You truly, honestly care. It’s clear in each and every page—in the words you’ve written. You care about him.

The final page has a blank space the rough shape and size of a photograph. For some reason he understands what he’s meant to do. He slides the photograph you gave him all that time ago from his phone case and pastes it to the space. And then he reads what’s written below.

My Azul keeps all of these walls up in order to protect himself. He’s sensitive and self-conscious. He likes to uphold a perfect image at all times. He likes to keep his weaknesses hidden, his cards close. But then he’s also funny. He’s sincere and gentle. He’s sweet. He’s someone I admire from all sides, good and bad. Even when he’s scheming, even when he’s acting, he’s still Azul. My camera’s captured so many of his moments, which is very apparent now that you’ve made it to the end. But I’m happy to have documented these moments because they showcase everything that makes my Azul himself.

My Azul has never looked “positively dreadful” to my camera. Even on the days where he feels like nothing, my Azul is everything to me. I will always think so.

He’s crying. He can’t help it.

Azul sits there and he sobs.

He sobs until his throat is dry, until his eyes are blotchy and red. He sobs until he can’t anymore.

Holding the book close to his chest, he wonders how he ever managed to befriend someone like you.

An angel. That’s what you are.

An angelfish.

And he’s Azul. Your Azul.

iv. spring - but, baby, i’ll be there. yeah, baby, i’ll be there. it’s been a little hard. i’ve been a little tough. but maybe all along i’m afraid, i’m afraid, i’m afraid. i’m afraid, i’m afraid, i’m afraid.

The air is sweet with the scent of blossoming flowers, thick with pollen. Azul’s chest is light, swelling with excitement. A new chapter is about to begin. In just a few hours he’ll graduate along with the rest of his peers and then it’s off to start another story. For Azul, this is just a continuation of something already so prolific.

He strolls past The Great Seven, pausing briefly to admire the Sea Witch in all of her tentacular glory.

“With this weather, it’s almost difficult to imagine they called for rain.” Jade peers up at the sun, shielding its obtrusive rays with one hand.

“They’re always gettin’ it wrong,” Floyd says, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “So annoying. I was hopin’ it’d rain and then they’d cancel.”

“Unlikely. There are always contingency plans put in place when it comes to an event as momentous as graduation.”

“Bleh. Lame. I wanna skip. I hate bein’ in those stuffy clothes, packed in close like a sardine.”

“If you’re absent, you won’t receive your diploma.”

“What a scam.”

Jade simply smiles. Ironic.

Azul turns around to look at them. “Four years… Gone in a blink. Will either of you miss it?”

“It was certainly enjoyable. I admit there are some aspects I’ll miss quite fiercely.”

“Guess it’ll be a bummer not seein’ everyone all the time. I’m gonna miss playing with Baby Seal and Shrimpy.”

“I’ll miss them, too.” Azul sighs. “(Name) especially…”

“You still haven’t told her?” Floyd raises a brow. “You’re gonna leave without sayin’ a word?”

“That does seem to be the plan,” Jade answers.

“I… I’ve thought it over.” He clears his throat. No time for waterworks. He needs to be in top shape if he’s to deliver the opening speech as Salutatorian. Riddle took first place, which wasn’t a shock to anyone. He always did say he’d make Valedictorian no matter what. Azul had been keen to fight him for it, even if it became clear he’d never surpass him. Second place is irksome, but it has its merits. Although he isn’t going to settle with just that! He’ll get first place one of these days. “We’re better off friends.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Is that enough?”

“Is what enough?”

“Her friendship.”

“It’ll have to be.” Azul’s gaze glazes over.

He’s run out of time, but maybe that’s okay. Maybe that was meant to be.

“Well, let’s not dwell on it any further!” He claps his hands and turns swiftly on his heel. “There’s still work to be done.”

Jade and Floyd exchange furtive glances. They know as well as he does that he’s lying.

But maybe that was also meant to be.

— — —

Crowley tasked you with snapping photos for NRC’s yearbook. “Because I am a paragon of magnanimity,” he said, “I am entrusting this very important task to you once more. Take lots of pictures! Don’t miss a single moment!”

You do just that, photographing the graduates as they wait in a room behind the stage, chattering eagerly amongst themselves. You raise your camera to document Azul when he stands at the podium to give his salutation speech. You do the same for Riddle when it’s his turn. The ceremony is grand, ballooning with emotion. You look on with a cheek-splitting smile, proud of every student who crosses the stage. It’s bittersweet. The friends you made when you were enrolled as a first year are now moving on in life.

Time flies. What a whirlwind year it’s been.

When it’s Azul’s turn and he goes down the line to shake the hands of his professors and Crowley, you wave at him from your place in the audience. He meets your eyes from where he stands, and he smiles.

Your camera catches that moment in perfect permanence.

By the end of it all, your face hurts from smiling, your throat sore from cheering, your hands raw from clapping. Grim grumbles at you to knock it off with the sun shower, your tears dampening his fur. You wipe your eyes and sniffle. “I’m happy for them. It’s a good day.”

He forces his head under your palm, allowing you to pet him and cry through it in peace. He doesn’t say anything. You don’t need him to.

While the graduates meet up with their family and friends, you make your rounds. Kalim introduces you to his parents and siblings—all thirty-something of them. You’re in a daze by the time introductions are finished, and Jamil leans over to whisper, “No need to commit everyone to memory.”

“Have you talked to Azul yet?” Kalim asks after everything has settled down.

You shake your head. “Why? What’s up?”

“Just wanted to ask. I know the Headmage wants you to take lots of pictures.”

“We shouldn’t keep you any longer than we already have,” Jamil adds with a curt nod.

You smile. “Congrats, both of you. Good luck.”

“We gotta keep in touch. Promise me you’ll call whenever you can. You’re always welcome to visit, too! Oh, I’ll go check with my parents now! I’m sure they’ll say yes!” Kalim bounds off in their direction.

“Just let me know well in advance. That way I can plan for proper accommodations,” Jamil says, following Kalim with sharp eyes.

“I’ll do that.” You turn to leave and then stop. “I hope you get your vacation one day, Jamil.”

He stares at you, mystified, before a gentle smile softens on his face. “One day,” he echoes. “I hope you’ll find your way home.”

“One day.”

The two of you share a final look before going your separate ways.

Surrounded in such an energetic environment, talking to and meeting families, you find yourself longing for your loved ones. So much time has passed. You wonder how they’re doing. Are they well? Are they worried?

“Aah, it’s Shrimpy!” Floyd crashes into you with so much force you nearly topple. He steadies you with a giggle. “Where’s Baby Seal?”

“Left to gorge on refreshments. Hey, since you’re here, can I get your picture?”

“Course you can.”

Detaching himself, he poses for you. You take a few photos, mirroring his good mood.

“Are your parents around?”

“Mhm!”

“Seriously? They came?”

“Course they did.”

“Did they take transformation potions?”

Floyd nods. “Pops does land business sometimes, so he’s used to it. Mama doesn’t leave home much. She’s real bad at walking on her feet.”

“Ah, got it.”

Floyd grins down at you. “You wanna meet ’em?”

“Maybe later… I’ve gotta keep taking photos.”

“I gotcha. Make sure to snap a few of Azul.”

“Right! Speaking of him, where is he? I’ve spoken to everyone but him.”

Floyd peers out across a sea of faces, scanning each one like a predator sizing up his next meal. “He’s avoidin’ ya.”

“What? Why?”

“Why don’tcha ask him when you see him? Bet he’ll have a fun answer for ya.”

You would, if only you could find him. As the afternoon wears on, you begin to lose hope. If he’s truly hiding from you, he’s doing a great job of it. After what feels like hours of walking in aimless circles, you take pause to consider the situation. If you were Azul and you wanted to hide away for a little while, where would you go?

To someplace familiar. To someplace comfortable. To someplace quiet.

He’s pacing in front of Ramshackle when you arrive. You open the gate and step through, taking each step one at a time. Once you’re within a close enough proximity, you make your presence known.

“Azul?”

He startles and whips around. As soon as he sees you, he lurches forward, intending to leave.

You block his path. “Hey, wait! What gives? I’ve been looking all over for you. Floyd told me you’re avoiding me.”

“Floyd doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“But I’m sure you do. So what’s up?”

“It’s…nothing. I merely wanted to tour campus one last time.”

“Oh. Why didn’t you say anything? I would’ve come with you!” You attempt to elbow him, but he side-steps you. “Uh, right…”

“Ah, sorry. I… Admittedly, there’s quite a lot on my mind.”

“I get it. Congrats, by the way. Your speech was really good.”

“I’m pleased you think so.”

This…isn’t Azul, you realize, a frown flickering on your face. At least not the Azul I usually see.

“I got to meet all of Kalim’s siblings.”

“Did you? All of them?”

“Every. Single. One. His family’s huge!”

An uncomfortable silence festers between the two of you. You glance at your camera and then at Azul.

“Can you believe that Crowley? He wanted me to take all of these pictures, but there were dozens of professionals who did it much better than me! What was even the point?”

“Terrible, isn’t it? A job as good as the one you do deserves proper payment.”

“Exactly! My services aren’t free.”

Azul smiles, a wistful gloss to his gaze. You can see the cogs turning behind his eyes—can see the calculation as it comes to fruition.

“You can cry. I won’t judge.”

“I’m not going to.”

“It’s fine. It’s normal, Azul.”

He inhales a deep breath, holds it for three seconds, and then releases. When he looks at you next, his expression is hard and riddled with subdued anxiety. A zephyr blows between you, rustling the leaves in the trees, raking through the grass, dragging wispy fingers through your clothes and hair. The quiet expands and stretches wide.

Azul opens his mouth, shuts it, and sighs. A forlorn resignation flits over his countenance.

“I—” he swallows hard and then it just bursts free, the admission he’s kept secret for so long— “I love you.”

Another breeze combs through the premises. Your gasp is swept away with it.

“I’ve loved you for two years. And I… I wanted to tell you so many times in the past, but I never could. I was scared and I ran away. I still am! The truth is that I’m afraid of losing you. I’m afraid of messing up in front of you and looking like a fool. I’m afraid of showing you the parts of myself I hate most. I’m even afraid of that phrase—of saying it because it terrifies me to think, in some distant world, it might be reciprocated. But I have to say it, and I want you to know. Even if you don’t feel the same, I have to tell you.”

You gape at him, utterly speechless. The longer you do so, the more flustered he becomes.

“Y-You’re free to think it’s gross or weird. I understand I’m not the most ideal candidate, but I…” He wrings his hands, exhaling shakily. “I think you’re everything. My whole world.”

There are so many things you want to say. So, so many. But they’re all jumbled, carried along like flowers floating down a stream in spring. You close the gap, taking his hands in yours, and you kiss him.

Azul startles, squeaking against your lips. It takes a minute for him to find his rhythm, but soon he’s wilting against you, his body relaxed. You taste saliva and salt—tears. When you pull back, he’s crying.

“I think you’re the most ideal candidate. I’ve always thought so.” You cradle his cheek in a warm hand.

A sob trembles through him. “I never thought—you’re just so… I couldn’t have imagined…”

“That I’d like you?”

“Yes!”

“Why?” “Because…”

“I’ve always liked you, Azul. I’d never lie about that. Your birthday gift—those are my honest opinions.”

“Every one of them?”

“Each and every one.”

He sniffles weakly, drying his eyes with the heel of his palm.

Instinctively, you reach for your camera. And then you hesitate. You’ve always stood behind the protective lens of your trusty Ghost Camera, assuming the role of photographer in order to remain in his orbit. But now you’d like to try putting the camera aside and documenting Azul’s moments with your own two eyes.

He loves me.

You just manage to shut the front door before you’re pulling him flush against you. He presses you up against the wall in the foyer, a knee slotting between your legs. You melt in mutual merriment, grabbing at every part of him. Your uniform blouse is ripped open in a hurry. You try to handle his graduation robes with caution, appreciating expensive embroidery, but vehemence gets the better of you. It’s a wild rush. Hot and panting, you’re shuddering in carnal delight, every nerve alight. When he presses up against you next, half-dressed and hazy with an addictive adoration, you can feel the result of your exploratory touches straining for release.

“Upstairs,” you mumble against his mouth, sweating out of your skin.

You fall into bed as one, tangled around each other. Azul trails kisses up the expanse of your stomach, working you open on skillful fingers. You shiver beneath him, your heart pounding in your ribs.

“I love you.” A kiss to your belly.

“I love you.” A kiss to the valley of your breasts.

“I love you.” A kiss to your lips.

You love him just as intensely.

He drags his fingers out next, admiring the slick coating them like it’s a valuable substance. You giggle, dizzy with delirium.

“Can I call you mine?”

You run your hands up and down his arms. “I’d like that.”

“Your boyfriend,” he murmurs, astonished. “I’m your boyfriend…”

“Mhm…” You sit up in bed and climb into his lap. Slowly, inch by inch, you lower yourself. He sucks in a breath through grit teeth. “And I’m—mmh—I’m your girlfriend.”

Azul whines into your mouth. His arms wrap around you to keep you firmly pinned to his body, and he bucks his hips up to meet you the rest of the way. Filled in such a way, connected so intimately, you breathe a satisfied sigh. You dig your nails into his shoulders. Every muscle slackens. It’s bliss, pure and perfect. The both of you mold to one another like sea meeting shore.

You grind down, chasing a mounting climax. “You’re the best—perfect. So perfect. Oh, I love you, Azul. I love you so much. I’ve always wanted to say it.”

He presses his forehead to yours. “You have no idea how fervently I’ve yearned for this—for you.”

You can’t possibly begin to imagine, but you can definitely relate. Weeks of silent pining, of hoping something might happen and you’d be able to confess without fear. Those days are behind you. Now you can know love in his arms and it isn’t so uncertain.

You lose yourselves in the sensations of sweet, soulful sex. He’s gentle like a spring breeze, dedicated like a devotee at your altar. You’re much the same, your moans just as plentiful. Just as loud. You’re wrapped in wonder when you look into his eyes and find the same amount of love reflected back.

I’m so happy I met you.

When he cums, he digs his fingers into your hips to drag you down and bury himself deeper inside. You unravel shortly after, your orgasm coaxed out by a few attentive massages to your clit. Your bodies, sticky and sweaty, stay connected even after you’ve come down from the clouds.

“Had I known, I would’ve said something sooner.” After catching his breath, Azul rests his head in the crook of your neck. “I regret it.”

“I don’t. Things happen when they happen.” You run your fingers through the tangled, silvery strands of his hair. It’s soft just like him. He leans into your touch and hums appreciatively. “I’m glad it happened when it did.”

“I’m glad I could say it. It would’ve eaten me alive if I’d left without telling you.”

“And are you still afraid?”

Azul places his hand over yours. “No, not anymore. The world ahead looks much clearer now.”

“Am I in it?”

He laughs. “More than that.”

“Oh?”

“You are my world.”

#twst x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #azul x reader #n/sfw

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hungermakesmonsters · 9 months ago

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(Once Bitten) Twice Shy

Chapter Four

Plot summary : Desperate to get away from your controlling family, you take a job in New York as a wealthy vampire's blood source. A million dollars awaits if you can make it through a year, but life with Billy Russo is not going to be as simple as you think.

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R Chapter Rating : PG

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Nothing of note this chapter, except a moment of sickeningly awkward cuteness (I'm so sorry). All chapters will contain mentions of blood. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : 4.8k

A/N : The aftermath of last chapter. Tumblr is still only letting me tag five people at a time, so tags will be in comments again.

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO | CHAPTER THREE

Chapter Four

You woke to find yourself on the sofa, covered with a blanket, alone and with only a vague recollection of what had happened the night before. Your hand had been bandaged and you felt worse than ever. The room was spinning, your head pounding, and finally you understood why; blood loss. You’d drawn blood and, then, you’d let him drink from you; it had been too much and you’d lost consciousness.

It took a moment more for you to remember everything else that had happened; how he’d pressed his body to yours, how he’d kissed you, and how you’d - oh god, your boss had made you come.

Panic washed over you for a second, your hand reaching between your thighs, terrified that something had happened after you passed out. No. You breathed a sigh of relief and found yourself feeling silly for even thinking that Billy would do something like that. From what little you knew of him, you didn’t think he was capable of that.

Despite being completely alone, you pulled the blanket up, hiding your face and your embarrassment. You closed your eyes and all you could see was his face, blood covered lips and dark eyes filled with hunger - and not just hunger for blood.

You remembered his lips on your neck, the scrape of teeth - fangs - as you came. Gingerly, you ran your fingers over your skin, searching for puncture marks but, thankfully, found none.

As much as you wanted to move, to go back to your bedroom, you were too exhausted and, soon enough, you ended up falling asleep again.

Hours must have passed and you certainly felt better for it when you finally opened your eyes again.

At some point a bottle of water and a note had been left on the floor next to the sofa, though you couldn’t say if they’d been there the whole time or if he’d placed them there after you’d fallen asleep again.

You decided to start with the water, taking a slow drink to steady your nerves before reading the note. It was impossible to stop your mind from going into overdrive, from thinking of all the things that the note might contain; was he going to fire you for your unprofessional behaviour, was he angry that you broke the rule about being in the penthouse after 9pm?

Your fingers shook as you unfolded the note and started to read.

I want to apologise for my behaviour last night, it was unacceptable and I understand if you want to terminate your contract because of it. If you want to leave, please let Lissa know and she will retrieve your things from storage. If you choose to stay, you will have the next couple of days to yourself to recover. I’ll be gone until Friday and won’t need blood before then.

Whatever you decide, I’ve arranged for my friend Karen to visit you tomorrow and, if you still want to, you have permission to go out with her for the day. If you want to leave, she will help you with whatever you need to do so. Please take care of yourself.

Billy.

You read and reread the note, trying to figure out what he wanted from you. The note felt so detached, almost like he was assuming you’d want to leave.

(Did you? Was that really what you wanted?)

You read it again before sitting up, noticing the dried blood on your pyjamas. Common sense told you to leave, to get your things and get out of there as quickly as possible. Last night had been stupid and reckless, you’d done the one thing you’d promised yourself you’d never do; you’d let a vampire drink directly from you.

Okay, so he hadn’t bitten you, but what was to say that next time he wouldn’t? But, by the same logic, what was to say that he would? He could have done anything he wanted to you, but he hadn’t. And what he had done you’d allowed. No, you’d been an active participant. You’d enjoyed it. (Who were you trying to kid? You’d wanted it.) He’d told you to stay away and you’d ignored him. It had been your choice to feed him, your choice to let him kiss you, even though you knew he wasn’t in his right mind.

Embarrassed as you were, some part of you had wanted what had happened last night and, now, you had to live with the consequences.

You read the note one last time. Please take care of yourself, you weren’t sure if those five little words made it better or worse. He always seemed so concerned with how fragile you were, and you still weren’t sure if it came from a place of caring or of liability, but it felt like he was staying away from his own home because of you.

No, you quickly decided, you didn’t want to leave. You couldn’t. You needed the money and last night was as much your fault as Billy’s.

Staying was still far better than the alternative.

Eventually you managed to get up and move to your rooms, grabbing yourself a bowl of cereal on the way to bed. You put the TV on, but more for background noise than anything and spent the rest of the day dozing, only getting up to get more cereal.

Instead of thinking about what had happened, you started thinking about tomorrow, about finally being able to go outside and see some of New York City. What would his friend Karen be like? Would she be able to tell you anything about Billy? Finally, you had something to look forward to, even though you were worried that Billy had only arranged it out of guilt.

You felt much better the next day when you woke up, in part because you were excited to finally go outside and see some of the city but, also, because you were looking forward to meeting Billy’s friend and having someone new to talk to. The weather outside looked cold and wet, so you dressed accordingly, pulling a lovely blue jacket and pair of boots from your wardrobe to put on over your jeans and blouse.

Just before midday, you heard someone calling your name, and you quickly went out to greet them. She had stunning red hair and skin so pale you might have thought she was a vampire if you weren’t about to go out in daylight with her. It was enough to make you pause, to make you wonder how she knew Billy, an odd twinge of jealousy filling you for a second.

“Hi, I’m Karen,” she smiled and held out her hand. You took it and introduced yourself properly, even though she already knew your name. “Oh, what happened to your hand?”

Your cheeks warmed a fraction, looking down at your bandaged hand for a second. “I caught it taking some cookies out of the oven.”

“Ouch,” Karen winced sympathetically, seeming to buy the lie. “Billy said you wanted to go for coffee?”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” you answered, feeling overcome with relief the moment you stepped into the elevator.

“You got any place in mind?” Karen asked, subtly looking you up and down like she was trying to get a measure of you.

“I - I don’t know. This is my first time in New York, I don’t really know where anything is.”

“And this is the first time he’s let you outside,” she stated.

For a second you looked at her, confused, wondering how much she knew, how much she was supposed to know. Lissa had told you that Billy valued his privacy and you weren’t sure what you were supposed to say in this situation. The uncomfortable look on your face must have been enough to tip Karen off that you didn’t know how to answer.

“He has his reasons,” she started again as the elevator arrived on the ground floor and you stepped out, “I know it probably doesn’t seem like it right now, but he is trying to look out for you.”

“How do you know him?” You asked.

“I met him through his best friend when we started dating.”

“Oh. And is he...?” You left the question unfinished, not sure if it was polite to ask.

“A vampire?” She smiled the sort of carefree smile that you couldn’t help feel envious of, like she didn’t care what anyone thought of her. “Yes, he is.”

Stepping out onto the street, you couldn’t help but stop for a moment, turning your eyes skyward and taking a deep breath. It took a second for your eyes to get used to natural light and, all the while, Karen stood watching you.

“How long has it been?” Her question pulled you back to the moment.

“A couple of weeks, I think?” You tried to remember, but you’d lost track of how long exactly it had been after the first week. However long it had been, it wasn’t really long enough to warrant that sort of reaction from you. Your cheeks warmed a fraction as you looked at Karen. “I’m not really used to being cooped up indoors all the time.”

Karen just nodded, waiting a beat before starting to walk. You fell into step beside her, your eyes taking in the sights of New York. You had no idea where she was leading you but you didn’t care. You were finally seeing the city and you couldn’t be happier.

Less than five minutes later, you found yourself in a little coffee shop, looking at the pastries and cakes on offer before you realised something.

“I don’t have any money,” you told Karen, your cheeks turning red, an uncomfortable sense of shame filling you.

It hadn’t even crossed your mind; you always had a purse with you or your phone, but Lissa had taken them and you weren’t going to be paid until you’d completed a year in Mr Russo’s service.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Karen replied, starting to fumble around with her purse before pulling out a black credit card and handing it to you. “Billy asked me to give you this for anything you need.”

The card had your name embossed on it but there was nothing else to indicate - well, anything at all. You didn’t know if it was a prepaid card or if it had a limit, and there was no way of telling where the money would be coming from.

“The PIN is your birth year,” Karen continued, though she seemed more interested in eyeing the food selection than she was in you.

After a moment more, you decided that you’d ask Billy about it when you next saw him (assuming you ever saw him again, after the other night). You choose modestly, not wanting to spend too much on a card that wasn’t yours and that you couldn’t control. For all you knew, you were spending Billy’s money and the last thing you wanted to do was take advantage of this gesture of kindness.

And that was something Karen did notice, watching you from the corner of her eye with a somewhat bemused expression on her face as you calculated just how much money you’d be spending getting a drink, a panini, and a muffin. Then, you held your breath as you used the card for the first time, preparing yourself for the embarrassment of it being declined. It wasn’t. You breathed a sigh of relief before following Karen to a little table by the window.

Your eyes were fixed on the street outside, watching as it started to rain, but you could feel her eyes on you.

“You’re not like the others,” she finally broke the silence.

“What were they like?” You asked with a healthy degree of caution, still not knowing what the rules were and what you were allowed to talk to her about. “Lissa said that they disappointed Mr Russo?”

She sat back, biting her lip and trying to suppress a smile. You couldn’t tell what part of it she found amusing and you didn’t want to ask.

“Disappointed is one word for it, I guess?” she took a breath, obviously composing her thoughts before continuing. “Did you know that you’re the first one he didn’t interview himself?”

You shook your head; you’d applied for the job by email and had spoken to someone (you now assumed to be Lissa) very briefly over the phone. In retrospect, it seemed strange given the amount of money that was at stake.

Unless he didn’t bother because he assumed you’d disappoint him like the others…

“The problem with Billy - with the whole job, really - is that it usually attracts a... certain sort of person. Most of them have only been interested in the money and spending a year living in the lap of luxury. The others are...” she fell silent, smiling as the barista brought your toasted paninis over and, when you were alone again, she looked like she really didn’t want to finish her thought.

“The others are...?” You prompted cautiously.

“They’re the sort of people who want more from the arrangement than Billy is prepared to give,” she answered and, when you obviously didn’t catch her meaning, she continued. “Billy is a very rich man and he’s going to live forever. A lot of people find both of those prospects very attractive.”

“They want him to...” you couldn’t bring yourself to say the words, a lump stuck in your throat at the thought. Karen nodded. “And you’ve done this before? Gone for coffee with... someone like me?”

“Not quite like this, but I did spend time with some of them.”

“What do you mean not quite like this?”

She paused half way through lifting her cup to her lips and, for a second you could have sworn she winced. Still, she took a drink and didn’t try to answer until her mug was back on the table again.

“His rules weren’t always so strict.” Her head shook. “Look, it’s not my place to tell you any of this. Billy has his reasons for why things are the way they are; it’s to protect you as much as it’s to protect him.”

You opened your mouth to ask more questions but no words came out. Ultimately, it didn’t matter how or why the rules had changed because you’d agreed to them. You’d agreed to the job and you needed the money, so the last thing you wanted to do was get Karen in trouble and maybe jeopardise future outings like this.

“Thank you,” you told her, then quickly clarified; “for telling me.”

Karen smiled, considering her words for a moment. “Billy is a friend, but trust me when I tell you that if I didn’t believe what he was doing was necessary, I would have told him so.”

“It’s okay,” you conceded quietly, shrugging, “I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to do this.”

You turned your attention to your food, cautiously picking up your panini, trying not to burn yourself on the molten cheese that was leaking out the side as you took a bite. It was heavenly; toasted just the right amount, the cheese was sharp, and the tuna -

You dropped the panini back to your plate, horrified with yourself.

No. No-no-no. How could you have been so stupid? You felt your chest tighten a fraction, your stomach tying itself in knots.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Karen asked, obviously concerned.

“Tuna,” you stated, your voice breaking. “I’m not supposed to eat tuna. It’s on the list. He’s going to -”

“Whoa-whoa, back up. What list?”

“The list of things I’m not supposed to eat,” you tried to explain, unable to conceal the panic from your voice.

This wasn’t you - you didn’t break rules, you always tried to stay in line - and, now, you’d messed up. All you could think was that you were going to lose the job, that Billy would kick you out and you’d have no choice but to go home. You were going to end up back where you started all because of a stupid toasted sandwich.

“Hey-hey, calm down, it’s okay,” Karen tried to settle you.

“You don’t understand I can’t lose this job.”

“You won’t,” she reached across the table, taking your hand in hers, “if Billy finds out, we’ll tell him it was my fault, okay?”

“But -”

“No, buts. Nothing bad is going to happen, I promise.”

You didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to explain the panic that was clawing beneath your ribs. You’d been raised to be good, to be decent, to follow the rules and not cause problems. You’d been raised to fear consequences and, even though you were far from home, that mindset was difficult to escape.

“Here,” she offered, sliding her plate towards you, “we can swap, I got ham and cheese. You only had one bite, Billy will never know.”

It was like she understood, like she could tell just by looking at you how desperately you needed to keep the job - not just because of the money on offer but because you had nothing and nowhere else to go without it.

Taking the offered plate, you ate slowly, quietly. From time to time, you’d catch her looking at you, concern on her face. Conversation that followed was stilted and awkward as you picked apart your muffin until it was gone. And, once your mug was empty, the outing was over.

“I’m sorry I can’t stay longer,” she apologised as you started back towards the penthouse. “I’ll make more time next week; we can spend a whole afternoon doing whatever you want. We’ll make it a regular thing, every Thursday.”

Agreeing, you thanked her as she rode the elevator back up to the penthouse with you, making sure you were okay before leaving you with the promise of seeing you again next week.

It was strange to know that you were completely alone in the penthouse for another day but, after the incident with the panini, you were very deliberate when it came to the rules. You sat on the sofa until just before 9pm, watching the cloudy sky slowly darken and give way to night before returning to your rooms, even though no one would have known if you’d stayed in the penthouse longer.

That night you laid in bed thinking about Billy - or, rather, you thought about what it was going to be like to see him again after what had happened. Was he as embarrassed by it all as you were? Did Billy Russo even get embarrassed? Maybe it would be better for the both of you if you just pretended that it never happened.

Friday passed in a blur. Every time you heard a noise in the penthouse, you would creep to the door to your quarters and press your ear against it, trying to hear if he was back. Of course, some part of you understood how ridiculous you were being; Billy was so light on his feet that you’d never be able to hear him. But, still, time and time again you found yourself pressed against the door.

After drawing blood, you moved across the penthouse as quietly as you could, looking for signs that he was home and finding none. Once you reached the kitchen and placed the blood in the fridge, you allowed yourself a sigh of relief before turning and -

There he was.

Standing between you and your rooms, a look on his face that you couldn’t decipher.

For a second your lips parted, wanting to say something, but the words just wouldn’t come. Your cheeks started to warm and the silence dragged on for at least ten seconds. Billy looked uncertain, so uncomfortable in your presence. His normally calm and collected demeanour was gone, replaced with a look that made you feel unsettled, guilty even. More than that, you couldn’t help but notice how tired he looked - you hadn’t even realised that vampires could look tired before now.

“You decided to stay,” part-statement, part-question. All you could do was nod, letting your feet carry you a couple of steps closer to him. “I’m glad. I didn’t think you would.”

“I want to stay,” you offered quietly, breathing slowly, trying to keep your heart from racing.

“I’m sorry for the other night. I never wanted you to see me like that,” he said, standing a little taller and seeming to regain some of his usual composure. “It won’t happen again. I never wanted to make you feel unsafe here.”

“You didn’t,” your voice still small as you struggled to find a way to describe any of the things you were feeling right now. “You told me to stay away and I didn’t listen, and I didn’t ask you to stop when I should have. But I just...” you trailed off, not sure how to say the next part.

“What?” He prompted softly, his attention entirely fixed on you.

“I need to make it clear; just because you’re paying me, it doesn’t mean you’re entitled to -”

“I would never think that I’m entitled to fuck you just because I’m paying you,” he interrupted, just as offended by the notion as you were. “Anything that happens here only happens with your consent.”

Did that mean it could happen again if you wanted it to? You didn’t dare voice the question, instead you just nodded.

His gaze dropped awkwardly and yours followed it, noticing something tightly gripped in his hands. A stuffed toy. Before you could ask, Billy had cleared the distance between you, holding out the toy to you. After a moment of confused hesitation, you took it, frowning first at the toy then him.

“When you said you were lonely, you mentioned a dog and I -” he let out an uncomfortable huff of laughter, “- well, obviously I can’t let you have a real dog here but I thought - I hoped - maybe this would help.”

Your gaze dropped to the stuffed toy in your hand, shaped like a beagle with floppy ears and a little pink tongue lolling out of its mouth. You couldn’t remember the last time someone had bought you such a thoughtful gift and that sad thought caused your heart to give an uncomfortable squeeze. When you looked back to Billy, you started to realise that there was far more to the man than you’d originally believed.

“I didn’t know what kind of dog you had, so I just...” he continued, trailing off when he saw your smile.

“Thank you. It’s perfect.”

It was Billy’s turn to simply nod, seeming just as lost for words as you were for a few seconds before deciding to let you go about your evening. “Anyway, I won’t keep you.”

The conversation was over giving you the perfect opportunity to walk away and recover from whatever this had been, only -

“I broke one of the rules,” you blurted out without thinking, not wanting to carry the weight of it after Billy’s gesture.

A flicker of discomfort crossed his face but was quickly reined in. “Which one?”

“I ate tuna in a panini when I went out with Karen,” you stated, sounding so ashamed anyone would have thought you were confessing to murder. “It was just one bite. I forgot tuna was on the list. I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again, Mr Russo. I promise.”

You didn’t expect the laugh that followed, or the way the tension seemed to leave his body. His hand found your shoulder, offering a reassuring squeeze.

“It’s okay, it doesn’t matter.”

“But the list -”

“Tuna is on the list because I don’t like it. If I’d been here and had your blood, it would have been unpleasant for me, but I wasn’t here so I’m willing to forgive it.”

(Well, that explained why certain foods were on the list. They were things he didn’t like - did that mean he could tell what you’d been eating from your blood?)

“I spent twenty dollars,” you admitted a moment later, like you were confessing all of your sins to him. (Or maybe you just wanted to keep the conversation going a little while longer, keep his hand on you a little longer.)

His hand moved to your neck, his cold touch on your skin causing your heart to beat a little faster. And you knew he could tell, you knew he could hear the effect he was having on you.

“You spent eighteen dollars fifty-five,” he told you, amused by whatever this was. “I don’t think you’re going to bankrupt me.” When his little joke didn’t manage to draw a smile from you, Billy sighed. “I’m the one that should be sorry. I haven’t really explained things to you, I guess because I didn’t think you’d even make it past the second week.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m asking a lot of you. Maybe too much,” he told you as his thumb began to softly brush against your jaw. “The truth is, I need things to be like this. I need to have control. I need to stay in control because when I don’t...”

He didn’t have to say it, you could fill in the blanks. The other night was what happened when Billy lost control, it was what happened when the monster overwhelmed the man.

“But,” he continued, “I know it’s not easy to be the person who’s being controlled. I know you don’t really want this.”

“No, I -” the words started to slip out before you could stop them. Billy looked at you expectantly, silently demanding you finish the thought. Your cheeks felt like they were burning, but he was giving you honesty and you needed to do the same in return. “I’m used to rules. I like knowing what’s expected of me. It doesn’t make things easier for me, but I like knowing where I stand. So, I guess I don’t mind following your rules.”

It was clear he had questions but clearer still that he didn’t want to ask them. You were grateful for that.

“You always have a choice here, little hummingbird, even if I sometimes make it seem like you don’t,” he told you, leaving his hand to linger on your neck a moment more before it dropped to his side. Somehow, you felt colder for the loss of his icy touch. He was quiet a moment before; “do you like Thai food?”

You nodded despite the very sudden change in conversation. “I love it.”

“I’ve got nothing planned this weekend, perhaps we could spend some time getting to know each other a little better? Maybe that would make things a little easier,” he offered, a small smile on his lips. “We could order from a great Thai place I know and I could try to answer some of your questions about things.”

Your fingers tightened on the stuffed toy as you smiled. Finally, you felt like you were getting somewhere, like this could become something bearable, something good.

“I’d like that,” you answered.

“Okay then, tomorrow evening at sunset,” he nodded and looked ready to leave.

Nodding in return, you finally stated to move back towards your rooms. Your hand was on the handle when he spoke again.

“Why did you help me?” You could tell from his tone that he didn’t want to ask the question, but the curiosity had gotten the better of him. “You didn’t have to help, you could’ve stayed in your rooms. Instead you put yourself in danger to help me. Why?”

You turned back, despite not knowing how to answer him. And, for a few seconds you found yourself looking at him. There was something there, something about his expression, something that made you wonder if anyone else had ever helped him before. It seemed like such an alien concept to him that anyone might go out of their way to do anything for him.

“You looked like you were in pain,” you shrugged, “and, even though I haven’t always felt completely comfortable here, I think you’ve always tried to be kind... in your own way. So, I couldn’t just stand by when I thought there was a chance I could help you.”

Billy swallowed, like he was trying to rid himself of a lump in his throat. Then he nodded, clearly lost for words. That look you’d noticed only seconds before seemed to intensify and Billy didn’t seem to know what to do with it.

“Thank you,” he finally managed, before giving you one last look and turning away.

For a second you allowed yourself to watch him as he made his way towards the kitchen but you knew you couldn’t linger, not when the pounding of your heart gave you away. Slipping through the door, you quickly shut it behind you, pressing your back against it for a moment. Looking down, you realised that you had the stuffed dog clutched to your chest. It was silly, such a ridiculous gift, but the fact that he’d listened to you, the fact that he’d thought about what you’d told him, it meant so much.

End Note : Billy was having a Mr Darcy (Matthew Macfadyen version) moment when he handed over the stuffed toy. Place your bets on what she’s going to to call it. I know this one was slow and a little cutesy but I wanted to build some more tension before things start to ramp up next chapter.

As always thank you so much for reading! And thank you so much to all my new followers (I did not expect 200+ followers when I started posting on tumblr). I hope you all have awesome weekends!!

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future chapters! If tagging doesn't work for some reason (aka Tumblr being dumb) I post most Fridays around 7:30 gmt. (Note: Tumblr is currently being stupid and only letting me tag five people at a time, so I'll be tagging people in the comments. Sorry if you get tagged twice!!)

Tag List : @vaguekayla @thdcre @rensolodriver @house-husband-of-castlemurdock @snowkestrel @danzer8705 @noortsshift @aoi-targaryen @lincerad @vxnity713 @readerinsertsaremyguiltypleasure @dreadfulxives18 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @glamourbabe17 @sweetserendipity65 @damagelove @strangerfromketterdam @a-starrynightwith-u @readingabouthim @countryday @weepingwitchofthewest

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfic #the punisher #billy russo imagine #(ob)ts ff

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kelocitta · 1 year ago

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In honor of the @rw-ship-showdown I wanted to write about Artihunter as someone who jokingly slapped them together pre-downpour and still thinks they are actually very compelling. Just not in the super soft love wins kinda way (Although I get why people like that more) And the only way I know how to do that is talking too much so heres a far too long slug essay-

Obviously the slugcats don't offer a ton of characterization but theres not nothing to work with. Their stories, whether by their roles in it or the overarching themes do provide a backbone to work with. Even gameplay itself can provide a bit. (for some more than others) Hunter, to me, is ultimately a story about selflessness. The goal is to revive Moon, which is very much an act of kindness from both Hunter and NSH. But the weight of that action is much more significant for Hunter- Hunter is deeply sick. They're on the clock, and for all their skill in combat none of that will ultimately help them to survive longer than their body can hold out. Moon is a close friend of NSH but that means little Hunter- Hunter really gets next to nothing out of helping them, and ultimately pays quiet a bit spending their limited time alive fighting to deliver that neuron so that someone else can live.

To spend ones limited days on helping another, in a game that very much stresses the unwavering cruelty of the world and nature- is pretty notable. (And you could even say that Hunter being the Hardmode of Rain World adds another layer to this)

And then we have Artificer. A storyline that very much stands out to people as more… villainous (so to speak) than the other slugcats. Artificer's story covers a lot of things. Trauma, violence, revenge, etc. Revenge is a bit of a selfish desire- That need to see someone hurt as they have hurt you. A punishment that ultimately does not fix whatever harm was done- but feels good to see because you were hurt and now those responsible share that pain.

Artificer's actions are founded in that need for revenge, their pups killed for overstepping boundaries they didn't know existed. Is it not fair for them to be angry at that, to punish the scavengers for their violence with their own? Why should the scavengers ever be forgiven when they and their pups were not? And that's how you get that loop- Harm for harm over and over.

The original action has been lost in a spiral of violence for violence. And here stands Artificer- their very spirit scarred. Not just because they sought revenge, but because they never ceased trying to scratch that itch for violence as an answer. Artificer only has two paths for their story- killing the scavenger king (Someone who, really, has little to do with the original 'crime' of the scavengers, but represents an important individual to them- as did the slugpups to Artificer), locking themselves as karma one for good and spending the rest of their life chasing creatures that no longer even fight back in a warped sense of closure- or to dissolve themselves in the acids of the void sea because they're too far gone to find any real peace.

They can't meaningfully recover from that state, not alone, twisting in on themselves. Even if they halt their actions, they've been using violence as a feeble defense against their own pain- violence that no longer has any real direction or basis. Artificer gets no real closure from killing the scavenger king. All they can do is continue the cycle, or try to scrub it away. No real peace in a prison of their own making. So you have a creature, who even with a strict timer on their life- a body that will crumble to disease, spends its last bit of time on saving another. And another who was so caught up in the pain of loss that were eaten alive by their own anger, poisoned their own soul on such a deep level even self-proclaimed gods have no solution for them. What peace can they offer each other? For Hunter, its only a fleeting moment of happiness- of selfish love, before their own body fails them. A bit of indulgence in something for themself. For Artificer, its a single, comforting thread to ground them again, something tangible to protect and care about again. But thats a thread that will ultimately be snapped under the cruel indifference of the world. Hunters timer will tick down regardless of if it takes another with it. Its a tragedy- its doomed to end badly. Whatever good it offers to either of them to find each other will only provide the fleeting comfort of a band-aid that will be ripped away too early. But all that can be worth indulging in anyway, if only for the moment. It doesn't change the ending, but the ending was never going to be happy. Its can so yuri

#rain world #rw shipping #tagging that just cause this is explicitly about that even though I usually dont do shipping stuff #with that said i dont even think this particular interpretation of a possible dynamic needs to be romantic its just kinda #about companionship in general. companionship thats going to absolutely shred an already unstable slug emotionally but thats #the point. friendship and love in spite of the unavoidable ending #just noticed this is like 80% theme analysis and 20% 'these go together just trust me'#but also theyre both girls because i want them to and also because im channeling hornet from hollow knight #who made me so deeply ill that my rain world tags still havent outcompeted my Hk tags because i drew her so much. so so much.#hunter is hornet coded to me and artificer is like if angela and gebura from lc combined into a deeply fucked up ferret #also i did tag the poll because they kinda inspired this but also. i wasnt gonna put all this out here WITHOUT a readmore thats embarassing #but i guess this is propaganda for a ship already seen as popular but like... idk i think theres something to it even as someone #who did literally slap them together originally because they were both red slugcats i considered girls. predownpour so we didnt have anythi #anyway hi tag readers i have so much work to do im being bad by writing about gay slugs. i need to get myself together #its so late this might just be nonsense bwaaaaaaa

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cultofdixon · 2 years ago

Text

Falling for the archer

What dating / being married to Daryl Dixon would be like • Grimes’ little sister!reader / Eldest Greene sister!reader [doin’ both cuz why tf not] • ANGST/SFW/NSFW

Requested by: @witch-of-letters

Rick Grimes’ Little Sister

Dating

Let’s be real, Rick Grimes would wish he was still in a coma if he saw you—his little sister—with a man that tried to kill him for what he did to his older brother

But when you look a little deeper in that situation, he would’ve reacted the same way if someone had done that to you

But y’all weren’t together in the quarry. People assumed such by how comfortable Daryl was around you.

The man gave you an ounce of his trust in the very beginning because you didn’t treat him like an asshole [like a certain home wrecker cop…]

It grew from there and had its moments. Daryl didn’t want to act on this feeling growing inside of him until he knew that you felt the same way.

But you were also struggling with the same brewing feelings that you’ve had since the ambush on the quarry campsite. Daryl knew you had the strength to defend yourself, but the second he arrived he took out every sicko that came your way. That when it was all over, the archer quickly scanned your person to make sure you were alright

The two of you really wanted to ignore your feelings because of the whole “end of the world who would have time for this?” spiel but the universe had other plans.

2 incidents happened

Daryl drunkenly confessed his brewing feelings the night at the CDC and given that the man was drunk and you were in shock hearing that come from him, he simply wished he died right then and there thinking he must’ve scared you off. But when waking the next day to the worse hangover, he saw you sleeping on the couch across from him and a glass of water with some pain killers were placed on the table for him. He indeed didn’t scare you off but was afraid he ruined something

But the other incident was at the farm when the “walker” got shot and revealed itself to be Daryl. Rick had to pry you off Andrea when you managed to get a hold of her. Daryl heard about the incident from Glenn after he left the Greene house and went to recover in the comforts of his tent.

He had to go look for you once it was night enough to get some alone time with you.

“You’re a crazy son of a bitch for picking a fight”

“Maybe if you didn’t get hurt, didn’t get lost, and didn’t get shot by Ms. Trigger Happy—I wouldn’t have had to give her a piece of my mind”

“Why do you care so much for somebody like me?”

“Because I can! And I’m falling in love with you! I’m done ignoring my feelings…I couldn’t…I wouldn’t live with myself if you died without knowing how I felt”

Typical for the other party to confess their feelings first with Daryl Dixon. But all he needed was that confirmation before closing the space between the two of you and pressing his lips firmly against yours.

Yeah. Rick shouldn’t have been on watch that night cuz he saw y’all kissing. But given how you almost beat Andrea to a pulp, he wasn’t going to get in the way right away.

Daryl didn’t want to stop kissing you, or let you go for the matter. But he knew if you didn’t go back to your tent that night, someone would come looking for you. And he didn’t want anybody else in those moments that he just wanted it to be the two of you.

The two of you found small moments to be by yourselves and admire the other. Even when their time at the farm was getting cut short by a number of events.

Sophia…Dale…Shane…the fire

When the fire happened and everyone’s first thought was to get the hell out of there, that was when Rick knew for himself that Daryl wouldn’t do any harm given how protective the archer was when you were last to join back on the highway. He met you halfway checking every part of you before pulling you into his embrace and squeezing the life outta yea.

Guess you can say when the “indirect seal of approval” from Rick Grimes came into play, that you started dating Daryl.

Or whatever dating is in the apocalypse.

Daryl isn’t one to be flashy in the relationship and you respected that, but that didn’t stop him from at least trying.

He always wanted to be close to you in any sort of way, for the most part it was sitting next to you by the fire…on the overturn car keeping watch…in your cell…the list could go on.

Sometimes Daryl would take your hand when you’d least expect it and it brought on the butterflies. His hands made yours feel extremely small and brought on a lot of thoughts that were proven later.

The times you would be more intimate even if it was just a short kiss was when no one was around. As stated before. Daryl likes having these moments in private.

Daryl knew it could be a bit unfair, he didn’t want anyone else in your bubble and he especially didn’t like the way those who didn’t know about the two of you—look at you like your fair game. Really only the farm group knows.

But he will say he was amused by how you handled those situations.

“Hey good looking wanna—-“

“Nope. Go away” Y/N got up from the tables in the prison trying to physically leave and when the man cornered her. Daryl was about to to take care of this guy and reveal to everybody about the two, but suddenly the man met the concrete floor after Y/N grabbed the book she was reading off the table and using it as a weapon.

“Crazy bi—-“ he was cut off by her dropping her book on his face and walking away.

That lead to Daryl wanting to take a leap of faith one day.

“Y/N”

“Oh hey D. I just finished getting the truck ready for the run with Sasha later. Did yea—“

Daryl cut her off by pressing his lips against hers feeling her arms instinctively wrap around his neck.

To the Woodbury folk, it came as a shock. Meanwhile, Carol got Glenn’s oatmeal packets for the bet they made about how long it would take for them to be out and open about it.

Since then he’s been a bit more open to public affection.

He’s still not the biggest about it being public but he secretly likes it. Especially when he hears you talk about how great of a man he is to Maggie. Even if part of him doesn’t believe it.

It still takes what feels like forever to get Daryl to believe the words you say to him. He gets the warm feeling in his chest during the moment and you can tell when he starts to feel his insecurities get the best of him.

Which brings into discussion—his scars

He never wanted you to see them and you never pry.

There was a moment in Alexandria where you walked in on him changing and he felt his whole body tense when the door opened. But he instantly relaxed when he heard you say that you were turning around. He didn’t even get his shirt on when he approached you and wanting to get closer to you by letting you see what he’s most ashamed of.

That leap, lead to more. You’ve always felt loved with Daryl even when he doesn’t say it often, and with that moment of him showing his scars…his anxieties about losing you to someone better has washed away.

Now to be a bit more chaotic…

Daryl respected your boundaries and went at your speed when it came to sex. But according to you, he has a look that would get yea going and there was one time he unintentionally did said look when you were talking to your older brother

“Y/N yea listening?” Rick waves his hand in front of your face as you were focused on Daryl looking your direction.

Daryl was waiting to go on a run with you and didn’t know that he was giving you that “look” when you were trying to take down what Rick needed.

“Y/N!” Rick yells only for his sister to sock him in the gut in response.

“I heard you! Now I gotta take fucking care of something before we go” You state before approaching Daryl and grabbing him by the arm heading back inside to take care of “business”.

[A/N: I used pronouns and then didn’t use pronouns in this,,,so my bad]

“The look” is really just taking up any opportunity. Not that Daryl’s complaining.

But there was one morning when you woke before Daryl could leave the bedroom first because Rick knows y’all are dating but doesn’t know y’all share a bedroom…

Bc you didn’t in the prison to respect Daryl’s feelings about feeling confined in a cell

You entered the living room without checking if Daryl left your bed or not and was about to get some water when Rick asked what you were doing last night.

Then cue Daryl coming down thinking Rick wouldn’t be in there and being met with the man’s attention.

“That’s what you were doin’ last night”

“…Yes”

“Yknow four people live in this place right”

“Yes”

“Y/N—-“

“Does Carl know about you and Michonne?”

“Okay. I’m just gonna ignore this so you don’t use that against me”

Engaged to Married

Daryl’s thing when going on runs is finding trinkets or anything that’ll make you smile. That was the one thing you’ve kept with you since the fall of the prison to after the wolves attack.

Daryl found you placing the things he found you on the shelves in your shared room because they bring you joy.

That one day, you went into your room after a long day and saw a small box. Being confused by the new item, you picked it up and opened it.

Only for all of Alexandria to hear you scream off the top of your lungs. If Daryl didn’t inform some…yeah people would think someone broke in again

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!”

Daryl stood at the gazebo watching Y/N approach him with the ring box in hand.

“Why didn’t you do this the right way?!”

“Uhm. Because…” Daryl took the box and instantly got down on one knee to open it presenting it to Y/N. “I planned this out…and I’m asking you now. Will yea marry me?”

“Yes! I will always say yes!”

Daryl didn’t have to ask for Rick’s blessing, because the two went on a run together when the archer found the ring and was like “You should propose with that, when yea ready”

As much as the group literally had a pastor—-the two of you wanted Rick to officiate and you kept it intimate. With only the group you first came to Alexandria with. And Aaron and Eric. The only Alexandrians Daryl trusted so far.

Being married, honestly didn’t feel very different to Daryl. Except that you two now have a place for yourselves and he really didn’t have to worry about any other guy looking your direction.

Besides. The man likes to leave marks in obvious places. Even slightly before y’all got married, no one even tried because you were marked and Daryl scared most of the men.

Waking up next to you in your own place was the best. Daryl didn’t have to get up right away and not alone for the matter. He’d roll over if he wasn’t already facing you and bring you close that you tiredly wrap yourself around him. The morning sex is a bonus too

You would always take his sweatshirts which were his least worn shirt until much later. He loved seeing you in his shirts but more specifically when he’d come home to you wearing only his shirt.

The two of you gained a routine where either of you would always throw up “I love you” in sign language whenever he went on runs or you would see him during your break from the infirmary. Daryl signed such to you when he was being whisked away by the Saviors and that was the only time it broke you.

Even when all the bad happened and you reunited, the promise Daryl made the day you were married…you made again when he latched onto you the second you walked through Hilltop’s doors.

I will always be by your side until the end, even if someone or something gets in the way. I will always find my way back to you.

The Eldest Greene Sister

Dating

Hershel wasn’t the only one to not like the new comers. But you were more open to bringing people in than he was.

“You don’t know what they’ll do”

“I know for a fact that they wanted to save their kid. What happens next? We’ll approach it with an open mind, old man”

“Don’t talk to me like that. Please”

“Sorry dad”

You and your sister Maggie were the only open minded ones when it came to the two officers and an injured child, multiplying into a whole group.

And Maggie wasn’t the only one that gained an interest in someone in their group.

But you were more risky with the whole “take on the biggest man in the room” in a literal and non-literal sense.

Daryl noticed how relaxed you were when things got heated with the group vs the Greene family. But also noticed a part of you didn’t really care for what your family argued. Guess you were also the black sheep in your family.

The first time the two of you ever talked was about trying to find Sophia. The group wanting to rest up while the archer wanted to go back out there and given the few protests. You figured you’d help the guy without any of them knowing.

Little did you know that he’d take your stubborn bitch of a horse.

The group that came knew Daryl had left to look for Sophia but the Greene family didn’t know that you went out after him. Because again, your horse is easily startled. Finding Daryl wasn’t the hardest thing in the world because these were your woods, your solitude even in this new hell. You ignored your horse completely when you realized that its rider is no longer on him or in the surrounding area.

Daryl thought he was hallucinating when you found him. Given he’s been seeing Merle. You were instantly stressed out given the arrow in his side and didn’t even think about bringing any form of first aid.

“Are you an Angel?”

Y/N laughs to the question as she pressed down on the bleeding wound making him grip onto her arm. “Far from it, honey”

That pet name stuck.

As you were helping Daryl walk back to the farm after several moments of him talking to the blood loss. You heard the yelling and thought nothing of it but when a few of the men from his group came running toward the two. It clicked that he must’ve been labeled as a Walker by their lookout. As the group got closer and it was revealed to them who it was…your anxiety got the best of you shoving Daryl quickly to the ground and that’s when the shot rang through.

Daryl groans from impact and heard the thud beside him seeing the eldest Greene sister through blurred vision gripping her arm.

Who woulda thought almost dying is what brought y’all together

I’m kidding.

But it did show to Daryl that you weren’t a threat of any kind. Even if you did prove that to him a few times already.

The two of you grew close when it was revealed that Sophia was one of the walkers in the barn. He didn’t think he had to hear what you had to say…let alone be vulnerable

“Why do yea care?”

“Are you serious?”

“Look sunshine—I don’t need to fucking hear some “it happens for a reason” bullshit out your ranch hand mouth just le—-“

“Nah. You listen here, sugar.” Y/N shoved Daryl back knowing damn well he was still recovering. Hell so was she. “A fuckton of my family was in there and I didn’t know what my bitch of an old man was doing until the rest of y’all knew. I’ve lost enough of people to know that shit happens at random. But as long as I knew…it wouldn’t eat me alive for the rest of my life. I hated not knowing what happened but sometimes that just happens too…isn’t it better to know that this happened instead of beating yourself up for not findin’ her?”

“…She wasn’t even mine”

“Doesn’t mean it don’t hurt yea too”

Something about what you said, glued him to your side and you weren’t complaining. Because who woulda thought at the end of the world you found someone that understands yea. Even if some of the things you say, worries the guy.

You’re an honest person and everyone appreciates that. Daryl especially.

But sometimes your honesty sparks unwanted anxiety and made few turn a bit resentful even if you were also the one that would do anything and everything to provide for the group.

Even before y’all became official, Daryl found himself silently checking up on you and one night at the prison before the infusion of new people…You sat beside him outside the prison leaning against him and letting him keep you close.

The prison era is when y’all confessed. Or more so Daryl did…and you returned once you “returned”

The medicine got to their people in time before anymore could go through death’s door. But as the others woke up, you still laid unconscious. Daryl never left your side the second the medicine got in and his anxiety got the best of him when your breathing would stop for strange periods that made him think he’d have to do CPR.

“You can’t leave me…you can’t. I won’t forgive yea” Daryl frowns bringing your unconscious form into his arms bringing her close. “How could yea. How could yea come into my life and made me feel a certain way that I have never felt—just for you to leave me. This isn’t better. Waiting isn’t great. I need to know if yea with me til the end or not…”

“Mm…ain’t gettin rid of me, honey”

Hershel was about to check on you when he heard sobbing. He thought you died and your old man held a lot of regret for how he treated you but when he saw Daryl holding you in his embrace sobbing even harder when you held onto him.

It always takes stressful situations to bring few together.

You were official in that moment but neither you or Daryl did more than hold hands until Carol needed a favor in getting your archer to take a shower.

“D, you busy?”

“Yea gonna force me to be nice to people too?”

“Nah. I don’t trust it here that much either. But the house is empty”

Daryl looks at you confused but quick to notice you were only wearing a robe.

“And what are yea planning with an empty house?”

“Fuck if I know…but no one would be around to hear me screaming your name in the shower…” You smirk heading back inside as Daryl sat there for a second longer before leaving his crossbow and following after you.

Daryl wasn’t the only one to bear scars from his past. You knew about his before you saw them as did he. The two of you would talk a lot at night just watching the stars from the prison so you knew what his father did and he knew what yours did…but also yourself.

He didn’t hold back with worshiping your body and making you feel loved every second of every day since that moment.

Married

Alexandria made the two you feel safe in a slow manner but you had each other and that’s what is important.

Neither of you wanted anything fancy or really a ceremony. You two just. Found some rings and went from there. He loves calling you his wife whenever he got the chance to do so.

Maggie was mad that you gave her a wedding and you didn’t let her give you one.

Being married was being more intimate. Your dating phase was more so becoming even closer with the other.

Marriage didn’t feel different. Except for the fact that you two were given a place of your own and y’all decided to christen every room in the place.

You were more of a jealous person when the two of you became husband and wife compared to girlfriend and boyfriend. People were once afraid of Daryl. Now he’s a provider and some of the ladies would stare at the man. But little did he know that he had an attack dog.

It was hot how jealous you can get but not when you start threatening to hit people.

Your jealousy level is about the same equivalence to Daryl’s over protectiveness. Man needs to know where you’re at when you’re not right beside him. And tying the knot did have y’all doing a lot of shut together. But sometimes Daryl would find himself panicking when he hasn’t found you within the first hour of returning home after a run.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothin’”

“…If you want to join me in the shower you could just do so instead of sitting on the bathroom sink waiting for me to finish”

________

Author’s note:

Me: *writing this*

Internet history: *eight closed tabs about different definitions for the word “Headcanon”*

This is my first one…like. Ever. I hope I did it justice

#cultofdixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon #daryl dixon headcanon

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astral-mariner · 7 months ago

Text

WIP Wednesday!

An excerpt from my dark saiyans under Freeza story, Homeworld Lost.

Some context: This comes from the first chapter of Part 8, titled "A Lonely World." Vegeta and Raditz have stolen an attack ball and escaped from Freeza's homeworld to a nearby empty planet. They've spent the past few months "recovering" under the care of Freeza's healers after an extremely harrowing purge mission. Raditz is still experiencing the aftereffects of a mind-altering drug on top of everything else. This empty planet is the first time they've been away from Freeza and his "healer" in quite a while. This, coupled with everything they experienced during their last assignment, was obviously extremely traumatic. The scene I've shared below is the first opportunity they've had to be alone and process anything. Vegeta is right around 17 here (about when a saiyan comes of age), and Raditz is around 24.

His arms folded over my own, and his hands clasped mine. After evening treatments—just like the night he returned—he’d often curl at the corner of his bed, leaving space for me, and shoulder to shoulder, we’d tell stories deep into the night. But we’d never sat so close as this. The prince bowed his head, leaving his neck exposed to my cheek as I leaned into him. His pulse fluttered beneath my lips; heat smoldered between us as if we warmed ourselves with energy.

***

Rain rushed over our pod’s round red window, rolling down in thick streams like tears down an already wet cheek. Neither of us moved to open the hatch. Still drowsy from stasis, the downpour occupied our silence. The pod was never meant for two passengers, and Vegeta had to sit in front of me between my spread legs, his back pressed to my chest, but we didn’t mind it. My arms tightened around his waist, and I rested my head on his shoulder. Warm—we’d left our armor behind. No room, and no protection would it offer if Freeza decided to punish us.

His grip tightened, fingers trembling. As my eyes drifted shut, visions flashed before them. For a moment, I felt the gentle clutch of an embrace as if my own arms encircled me, as if I occupied the prince’s space instead. Though Fuenghi’s effects were waning, I recognized the ghostly touch as Vegeta must. No one had held him like this since his mother had all those years ago. When Arcos was just another distant, meaningless world beyond the stars.

A flash of lightning, and the distant roll of thunder. We’d stay like this a little longer yet. Until the storm broke—the prince wouldn’t have to provide an excuse, justify anything. I wouldn’t call attention to it. I nuzzled his hair and breathed in his scent. My thumb stroked the back of his hand rhythmically, offering a small distraction lest the rest overwhelm him.

“I remember the first time I ever stepped inside the royal city,” I told him. Another distraction. Another story from a different life. “The day you were crowned prince and your mother named queen, actually. You were too young to remember. You’d just come back from your mother’s country. Lots of people talked about how strong you were, but I didn’t really care about the rumors then. They always say the newborn royal is strong. But I knew something was different when they named you Vegeta right then and there. You never knew any other name. Always Prince Vegeta.”

He nodded.

“I remember because they let even classless people through the palace gate. People like my mother had been. No one could believe it, especially with how your father was. But we all crowded in to see the forbidden grounds, to see you. Lots of shouting, fights in the square.”

I chuckled to myself. “I kicked an elite brat’s ass that day. Got myself to the front where I could see everything. Then it all went quiet when your mother stepped out with you and Nappa. Just whispers. Like she put a spell on everyone.”

Vegeta’s tail loosened from his waist. He let it drape over my thigh, the tip curling under my knee. When my hand shifted from his to his tail instead, tension melted from his shoulders.

“Then the king announced that there would be a tournament when the moon was half-full.” I went on. “The strongest; class didn’t matter. The gods alone would prove who was worthy to fight at your side, he said. You remember the tournament, of course. When we first met. But that day, when you were crowned—that was the day I decided I’d train, and I’d be the one to win.”

The rain slowed to a drizzle. The prince turned in my arms, then activated the hatch, opening it. Warm mist, tasting of the nearby sea, blew into the pod even if the curved walls still sheltered us from the passing storm. I thought Vegeta might step outside then, but he didn’t. He instead leaned back against my chest. Both of us looked out overhead; the wind chased somber clouds across the horizon.

Cautiously, my hands returned to his waist, and his tail, brushing my forearm and remaining loose, reassured me if his silence didn’t. “That was when the fighting broke out again. When your father presented the challenge. I flattened a few more noble brats. And I got thrashed too.”

I laughed. “But it was one of the best days. I was glad to be saiyan. Battles for the rush of it, low-classes and nobles together. It went late into the night. People from all over the world. Giving away food and wine in the streets. Got drunk for the first time, actually. Or maybe my head was spinning from that hard kick. I honestly couldn’t tell you.”

Vegeta hung his head. When he crossed his arms over his chest, his nails dug in and pulled at his bodysuit. “Gone. Doesn’t matter.”

I took his hand, twining our fingers together and unhooking them from his suit. “I know all of it’s gone.” I squeezed his palm and pressed it to his chest, holding him tight against me. “But it was good. That’s what I try to r-remember…”

I had to stop, choking up and desperate to compose myself. “It was good, and it’s worth fighting for. Avenging. So what if we die trying. It won’t be for nothing. However hard it is, it means something. It means that life was good sometimes, for someone, somewhere. Even if it isn’t for us. That we’re still here and still fighting—it proves just how much it matters.”

The prince captured my wrist with his other hand and used that grip to fling me away. He stood. Clambered out of the pod. His tail coiled tight around his waist as the wind whipped his hair into a jagged mess. “No,” he said, keeping his back to me. “What we’ve—seen…dealt…pointless.”

His fist so tight, his knuckles whitened. “Thought you’d know better. Killed all those children, didn’t you? For what? No glorious battle there, was there? So why’d you do it? Why does Freeza purge people he just sold a planet to, like the ones who lived here last season? It’s fucking pointless. Just the whim of a filthy lowlife. And the gods let all of it happen. Everywhere. There’s nothing you can do, Raditz, but make your enemies suffer. Make them pay for what they’ve taken.”

I got up and out of the pod as well.

Vegeta must’ve heard me, felt me. He raised his voice, daring me to step closer. “We’re alone against this universe. And if I transform, it’ll be in spite of the gods, not because of them. Alone. Hear me?”

“That’s not the Vegeta I know.” I didn’t come closer, but I hovered behind him. “I didn’t enter the tournament because I wanted to fight with you, you know. Thought it was a load of fucking royal nonsense as usual. Gods, I couldn’t fucking stand you. Like having a third-class partner was a fucking insult even though I fucking won—”

“Who cares about some pointless tournament?”

“Let me fucking finish, Vegeta.” I grabbed his shoulder even if I expected punishment. “But then you promised me you’d take Freeza down. That you’d make things right. That night on Freeza’s ship. Only believed you because I wanted to believe it. Hardly more than a child. All we had. Doubted it deep down even though I held on.”

He shuddered. “Raditz, don’t.”

“Then Fuenghi. Everything changed. I believed it—not just nonsense and stories. Really believed it. I promised I’d tell you. Couldn’t tell you on Arcos, not what really happened. [SPOILER].”

He froze.

“I lied to everyone. Zarbon, Rhysling, even Nappa. Would’ve lied to Freeza too. But I’m not lying to you. I wish you remembered so you could feel it like I do. It’s not pointless. It can’t be. It can’t.”

“D-don’t believe you.”

Staggering me, the prince’s energy flared around him. He took off for the sea before I could stop him. His path shredded the clouds, and a scar of starry sky split open above me.

#WIP Wednesday #homeworld lost #astral writing #vegeditz

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crazyunsexycool · 2 years ago

Text

My little love

Chapter 17

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x enhanced!reader

Word count: 3.7k

Warnings: none really

A/N: work has been kicking my ass lately so I haven’t really had the energy to write but here is the next chapter for our favorite family.

Series masterlist

Ch 16

You stood in the communal kitchen sipping slowly on the hot cup of tea you’d made yourself. It was the middle of the night and it was the first moment of quiet you’d had since you woke up after almost dying.

Again.

Everyone came to see you multiple times a day. It felt like there was a revolving door at your apartment. You knew it was out of concern and you appreciated it but after a few days it was a bit tiring, which was the first time you’d ever wanted some alone time. Ever since you were little all you wanted to be was surrounded by people that cared and now here you were, overwhelmed.

“Y/N?”

“Hhmm?” You looked up to find Steve at the entryway. The same furrowed brow he’d send your way when he was worried about something.

“Are you ok? I called your name like three times and you didn’t answer. Should I get Bruce?”

You shake your head and sigh. Leaning against the counter you take another sip of your tea.

“You only get this quiet when something’s bugging you so what is it?”

“Nothing’s bugging me. I’ve just been overwhelmed with everything that’s going on and this trip to Wakanda.” You try to take a deep breath but there’s still some issues so you cough a bit. “You know I never got to really thank you.”

“For what?”

“For saving my life. If it hadn’t been for you I’d probably be dead right now.”

“Don’t say that. Of course I’d do anything to help you.”

“I know Stevie, but still. It was selfless and you didn’t even hesitate.”

“I did have a selfish reason. You’re my best friend, I couldn’t lose you.”

You smile as Steve gets closer and hugs you.

“I’m serious, Bucky wouldn’t be the only one to feel lost without you.”

“Well you have me for a couple of months unless Bruce figures out how to completely get rid of this poison.”

“He’s working around the clock to try and find something. I’m sure he’s close to finding a cure and by the time Bucky and the kids get back from Wakanda you’ll be back to normal.”

You look up at Steve and smiled awkwardly. Everyone had decided that you were going to stay at the compound while Bucky went to Wakanda and stayed for however long Henry’s treatment lasted. You didn’t like the idea of being away from Bucky or the kids for an undetermined amount of time so you had already packed your bags. The only problem is that you hadn’t told anyone, until now.

“You can’t be serious? You’re still recovering.”

“I can recover while I’m over there too. Maybe a change of environment will help me.”

Steve is visibly upset and he crosses his arms over his chest. “So not only are my best girl and best guy leaving, two of my best friends are too?”

“Steve, I’m sure you can come visit. We aren’t leaving forever.” You roll your eyes playfully.

“Fine. I just worry about you guys.”

“And I appreciate it. Why are you up at this time anyway? Couldn’t sleep?”

“Not really. I was going over the next mission since it leaves early.”

“Well, it seems like we’re both leaving in a few hours. We should try and get some rest.”

“Yeah you’re right.” He sighs and rubs his eyes. “Good night Magnet.”

“Night you fossil.”

“What are you doing, I thought all of our bags were already on the jet?” Bucky asks as he walks up behind you.

“These are mine.” You turn and wrap your arms around his midsection and give him a quick kiss before Bucky can say anything. “I’m not going to stay behind while you’re gone with the kids.”

He looks at you a little wide eyed be he was caught so off guard that he couldn’t really react. Bucky just accepts the second quick kiss you give him.

“So you’re coming with us?”

“Yes.”

“Good because I don’t think I’d know a moment's peace without having you by my side.” Bucky sighs in relief. “Let me take these to the jet.”

“I’ll make sure the kids are ready.”

Bucky grabs your bags and heads out of the apartment to one of the jets that’s been prepared for your trip. You follow him out of your bedroom and into Lottie’s room to make sure her backpack has everything she needs during the flight and then you do the same for Henry.

In the living room Steve is sitting with a very teary eyed Lottie and a pouty Henry. He hugs both kids and murmurs reassuring words.

“Are you ready to go?” Steve says when he sees you walk in.

“Yup. We have everything we need packed.”

“Well then I’ll walk down with you guys then.” Steve stands and moves Charlotte to his hip while Henry takes your hand.

Once you’re at the hanger the rest of the team is there to say they’re goodbyes. Lottie however holds on to Steve for dear life.

“I stay with Steeb.” Lottie announces.

“Sweet Angel but we have to go.”

“Mama are you going with us?” Henry asks, hope sparkles in his eyes.

“Yes I’m going with you. I would miss you too much.”

Henry smiles and wraps his arms around your waist.

“Mama go?”

“Yes, sweet Angel and uncle Steve can visit soon. But we have to go now.” You stretch your arms out to grab her but don’t pull her away from Steve.

Her big blue eyes look at you and then at her uncle. Lottie’s arms wrap around his neck and she gives him a kiss on the cheek before diving into your arms.

“Bye bye Steebie.” Lottie waves at Steve who just looks hurt at the fact that she changed her mind.

“I promise to send you lots of pictures and videos. Bucky said he’d show her the g-o-a-t-s he used to tend to.”

“Just try to take care of yourself over there ok?” Steve says as he hugs Henry and then you.

Bucky walks out of the jet and stands beside you. He takes the kids backpacks and swings them onto his shoulder.

“We should get going, it’s a long trip.” He kisses your temple and then reaches over to give Steve a quick hug. “Come see us when you get the chance.” He tells Steve.

Bucky takes Henry’s hand and they head back to the jet. You snicker when you see the kid’s backpacks on his shoulder.

“The world’s most feared assassin wearing a princess backpack.” You turn back to look at Steve. “Don’t get reckless ok? I won’t be there to have your back.”

“I won't, I promise. Have a good trip.”

You wave one last time before finally making it into the jet. Henry is already strapped in and you sit Charlotte right next to him before taking a seat yourself.

Most of the flight had been quiet. Since you left so early the kids fell asleep right after take off. Bucky mostly stayed at the pilot’s seat while you read. You were halfway through your journey when Charlotte and Henry finally woke up so you got some of the snacks you’d packed for them.

“Mama.” Lottie cried. The little whimper she let out made Bucky panic.

It reminded him of when Lottie found you on the bathroom floor. He whipped his head around thinking he’d find you unconscious again.

“It’s ok sweet Angel. It's just a little juice on your pajamas.”

You stood and went into the bathroom to grab some napkins. Bucky breathed a sigh of relief as he watched you pat Lottie’s pajama dry. You kissed her forehead before sitting next to her and helping her finish the snack you’d given her.

You could feel Bucky’s eyes on you and turned your head to look at him. He smiles and you wink at him before you turn back and start talking with Henry.

“Do we have to do this?” Henry asks you.

“We do bubs.”

“But why? I want to go home.”

“Are you scared sweet boy?” Henry nods. “Oh sweetheart you don’t have to be scared. You remember what we talked about right?”

“The bad man and the words.”

“Yes, the bad man did the same thing to daddy to make him do bad things. Wakanda, where we’re going, helped daddy get rid of those bad words. That way no bad men can make daddy do anything he doesn’t want to do. And they’re going to help you too.”

“Will you stay with me?”

“Yes baby. It’s why I came with you so that I can be close by when you need me.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

As Bucky landed the jet you saw that not only was T’Challa waiting for you but a group of Dora Milaje were at his side. It’s not like you would do any differently if one of hydra’s “assets” was being brought in. You had all changed into more appropriate clothes than the loungewear you’d been wearing and now you were just fixing a bow on Lottie’s hair. Bucky exits first so that he could talk to T’Challa.

“It is good to see you again Sergeant Barnes.”

“It’s good to be back King T’Challa.” Bucky replies with a grin as they embrace each other quickly.

“What have I said about you calling me king?”

“The same thing I’ve said about you calling me Sergeant.”

You were just grabbing hold of Henry’s hand when you saw someone else rush toward Bucky. They do a very complicated handshake in greeting. You recognize her as Shuri from what Bucky and Steve had told you.

“If it isn’t my favorite white boy.”

You snort at the comment and walk down the ramp to stand by Bucky.

“And who is this?” Shuri asks as she looks curiously at Charlotte and then at you. Your own eyes bounce from T’Challa who you smile at to Okoye who is keeping a stoic expression and then to the young and bright princess.

“Shuri, this is Y/N my girlfriend and this is Charlotte our daughter.”

“I thought you were bringing the asset. And since when do you have a daughter?”

Bucky turned and didn’t see Henry, who had hidden behind you and made himself invisible. Scared of all of the new faces. You also turned your head to look down to where Henry should be standing.

“Henry, could you let us see you please.”

At your request Henry slowly faded into view. His arms wrapped around your waist as he peeked around you to look up at everyone. You can practically see the conflicting emotions on everyone’s faces when they realize they wouldn’t be working with an adult but a child.

“This is who hydra was using?” Okoye asked with a horrified expression on her face.

“It is a very long story but yes. Henry is my son and hydra was preparing him to be the next winter soldier. We’re pretty sure they were going to do the same with Lottie.”

“Hi there little man. You know I’m friends with your baba, I’d like to be friends with you too.What do you say?” Shuri lowered herself to be at eye level with Henry and she smiled. Henry looked up at you and Bucky and Bucky encouraged him to speak up.

“Ok.”

“Would you like to see what I’ve been working on in my lab?”

Henry nods but doesn’t move.

“Come on, we'll go together. Shuri has the coolest things there bubs.” Bucky says as he takes Henry’s hand. He turns to you unsure of what to do.

��Why don’t you go ahead and I’ll show Y/N where you’ll be staying?” T’Challa offers.

“Go ahead. I’ll see you later.”

You and Lottie walk beside T’Challa in one direction while Bucky and Henry follow Shuri. The palace was beautiful. It somehow combined sleek and modern with tradition and culture. Lottie was also fascinated with the beauty found in every corner. Little gasps left her lips as she pointed when she saw something she liked.

“So tell me about this little one and everything that’s happened since we last met.” T’Challa asked as he led you to a garden within the palace. Okoye followed and you could feel her eyes on you.

“Well almost three months ago we were on a mission to shut down a hydra detention center. It’s the biggest one we’ve found to date. Everyone was divided searching through different floors when Bucky said he needed a medic. He led me down to an operating room and on the table was Lottie,” you explained as you watched her explore the new area. “She was very malnourished and her health was declining quickly. I worked with Banner and when we did scans we found multiple healed fractures and worse. Later on we found videos of her birth… It was horrible.”

“Did Bucky know about her existence?”

“No. He only found out he was the father a few days later.”

“At least you were able to find her while she was so young.” T’Challa says and you smile.

“She was actually born in nineteen eighty eight. They kept her in cryo so technically she’s three. On a different mission I found three other boys but I got there too late.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He says sincerely.

“Thank you. Henry we found a day after we ran into each other at the auction. As you know he’s already been programmed to be the winter soldier which is why we came. I wanted to thank you for that. For giving him a chance.”

“You love them very much don’t you?”

“So much. I’d do anything for them. So would Bucky, this hasn’t been easy for him at all but he loves those kids and they love him too.”

“Mama look.” Lottie walks up to you with a flower and a big smile. “It’s Pwetty.”

“It is very pretty, sweet Angel.”

Lottie does her best to tuck the small flower behind her ear but fails. You grab it and place it for her and quickly grab your phone to take a picture and send it to Steve. Lottie wanders over to Okoye and starts talking. The general crouches and places all of her attention on the curious child before her.

“She seems to have a way with people.”

“Yeah, she’s very charming.”

“Is that her ability?” T’Challa chuckles.

“Maybe, but she can see the future. It’s very difficult because the visions come at random and she doesn’t know how to handle them. Most of the time she stops breathing and we don’t know what to do until it’s over.”

“I can’t imagine being in that position but rest assured Shuri will help Henry and if you mention it maybe she can do something to help Charlotte.”

“You have no idea how much this means to us. We’ll never be able to repay you.” You smile.

“Just raise them to be good people. That will be payment enough. Now why don’t I show you where you’ll be staying.”

You stand and call Lottie over. She runs towards you and grabs your hand as you follow T’Challa to the rooms he had prepared for you.

“You made all of this?” Henry asked as Shuri showed him all of the gadgets she’d been working on.

“I did. They aren’t perfect yet but I’m getting there.”

“Who are they for?”

“Has your baba not told you about Wakanda’s greatest protector?”

Henry looks at Shuri wide eyed and shakes his head. Shuri gives Bucky a disapproving glance before she begins to tell Henry the story she’d been told since she was a child. By the time she was done Henry was absolutely fascinated with the Black Panther.

“Why doesn’t Black Panther fight with the Avengers?” Henry asks when Shuri is done.

“Well I think if the Avengers needed any extra help the Black Panther would definitely fight alongside them. But you must remember there are other places that also need help so he goes there to help those people too.”

“Oh.” Is all Henry says and then nods in understanding. “Will it hurt? To get the words out.” He changes the subject back to the reason he’s there in the first place.

“No it won’t hurt. You can even ask your baba, I helped him too.”

Henry looks over at Bucky and the latter shakes his head.

“It doesn’t hurt at all and remember I’ll be here with you the whole time.”

“And mama?”

“She’ll be here too.” Bucky smiles at his son.

“Now, I know it might feel scary at times so when you feel scared or want a break all you have to do is tell me and we can stop ok?”

“Ok.”

“Alright,” Shuri says as she types something on a computer. “Would it be ok if I get some information? Then you can go with your baba and find your mama and sister.”

Henry nods and sits on the chair Shuri pulls out for him. She begins to get a baseline reading for his vitals and all the basic things she’ll need.

It didn’t take to long for her to get what she needed and soon enough Henry and Bucky where making their way through the palace halls.

“Did you stay here while Shuri helped you?”

“No, I stayed by a lake. I’ll take all of you to see it.” Bucky answers as he leads Henry toward the rooms that you’d be sharing. “We’ll do lots of fun things too.”

The rooms you’d been given were fantastic. They had high ceilings and natural light filtering in through floor to ceiling windows. The beds were ridiculously comfortable and Charlotte immediately laid down right in the middle of the bed you’d be using. Off to one side there was a set of double doors that led to a balcony. The view was just as incredible as everything else. The longer you looked out the more you understood why Bucky loved this place so much.

After the lack of sleep and the flight you were beyond exhausted so you laid down next to Charlotte. As you relaxed more and closed your eyes, she crawled closer and sat by your head. Her little hand came up and gently caressed your face.

“Mama go seep?” She asked curiously.

“You should sleep too, my sweet Angel.”

“Night night mama.” Lottie said as she moved around to lay down next to you. It wasn’t your intention but you did fall asleep quickly.

***

“Mama seeping.” You could hear Charlotte saying.

Then the bed dipped and you felt someone sit down on your other side. When you looked, Henry was getting comfortable.

“Hi sweet boy, what did you do with Shuri?”

“She let me see all the stuff she makes. It’s kind of like uncle Tony but she makes them for the Black Panther. Did you know about him?”

“Did I know about the Black Panther? Of course I even worked with him once.”

Henry started asking anything he could think of. There’s a knock on the door which Bucky answers. By this point you’re sitting and turning your attention to him.

“We’ve been invited to dinner tonight. Queen Ramonda would like to meet you and the kids.” Bucky says as he finally joins the three of you in bed.

Lottie shuffled around until she was laying her head on his chest.

“Hi dada.”

“Hi Doll. Did you do anything fun?”

“Mmhh,” she nods her head. “Habe fwiend.”

“You have a friend?”

“Yeah. Koye is fwiend. So pwetty.” She mumbles as her eyes begin to close.

You both chuckle as you watch Lottie finally fall asleep when you turn to ask Henry what he was doing, He'd fallen asleep too. After carefully moving around both of them you and Bucky managed to get out of bed. He opens the door for the balcony and you both step outside.

Bucky’s arms wrap around your waist as he rests his chin on your shoulder. You take in the view of Wakanda. The mixture of the city and nature and its beauty.

“How did it go with Shuri?” You ask after a few minutes.

“Better than I expected. She distracted him with stories about black panther while she took most of the baseline readings. We think it would be better to do the sessions in the mornings. He’ll probably need a nap after and then we have the afternoon to ourselves. We could go out and let them explore.”

“That sounds like a solid plan. Do you know how long it might take?”

“No, but it won’t take as long as it did with me.”

You hun in acknowledgment and turn in Bucky’s arms. He smiles down at you while you play with the hair on the nape of his neck. Then he picks you up and balances you on the railing. You give him a few quick pecks on the lips and Bucky smiles after every single one.

“What’s the smile for?”

“Nothing, it’s just the last time I was here I felt like I didn’t have a place in the world. Like I didn’t deserve peace or happiness or love. That there wouldn’t be anyone that would accept me how I am. But here I am with two kids that mean everything to me and the most amazing woman that not only accepts me but loves me and my kids. It’s just… it feels good.”

“Baby,” you blinked back some tears. “Of course you deserve those things. There is nowhere in this world I’d rather be than by your side. I’ll never stop loving you or the kids.”

“I’ll never stop loving you either.” Bucky steps even closer to you and presses his lips against yours. It’s soft and sweet and when he pulls back his forehead is resting against yours. “Let’s get some rest before dinner. With all the sleeping the kids have done they’re going to be up for hours after.”

“Yeah, I could use a nap.”

Bucky tightens his hold on you and carries you into the room. Just how you had gotten out of bed you both quietly got back in without waking the kids. Bucky sets an alarm so you’ll wake up and have enough time to get ready.

The four of you lay in bed all snuggled up against each other. You watch as Bucky’s eyes flutter close and his breathing evens out and you smile. Bucky found his peace and you found your family. Even if you weren’t sure of what would happen in the future this moment was pure perfection.

Ch 18

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yellowkitkieran · 8 months ago

Text

Home (Kieran Tierney)

Masterlist

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: Kieran surprises you by coming home early from his loan spell in Spain.

“When do you come home?”

Kieran smiles because you're both aware you've had the answer to that question memorized for months. But he indulges you anyway, “Friday. So only a few more days my love, and then I'll be home with you again.”

You sigh and begin typing your next email. You've become adept at multitasking while on the phone with Kieran; he'd be in the gym, airpods in while you chatted, and you would be settled in at the desk in Kieran's guest room working away on your laptop. Stolen moments like these have become the norm since Kieran went on loan in Spain. To make the most of a bad situation, you both came to the silent agreement that you would spend as much time on the phone together as possible. As a result, you now often find it hard to concentrate without Kieran on the other line.

“Right, Friday. In the afternoon right? I'm gonna try and get the house cleaned up before then, I don't need you seeing how messy I keep it when you're away!”

Kieran’s quiet laugh sends a slight shiver down your spine. “We both know it's not that bad. I'm sure you keep it plenty tidy. Don't worry about keeping it spotless, cause I'm just gonna mess it up as soon as I'm home.”

“Still. When you get here, I just want to focus on you. You kept Saturday open for sure yeah?”

“Mmhhm. Everyone else thinks I'm coming home on Sunday, so I'm all yours.”

You smile to yourself, sitting back in your chair. You have a full day planned for the two of you that mostly involves making up for lost time. Assuming your Friday night will be spent wrapped up in each other completely, you've mentally blocked off a few hours on Saturday morning to recover and wind down. After that, you'll help Kieran unpack his suitcases, do whatever washing needs done, and finally end off the day with dinner at his favorite place in Central London.

“Good! It'll be… fun… oh fucks sake…” you trail off as you read the email that's just arrived in your inbox. “Seriously- why! Can people not read?!”

“What's wrong babe? Someone mess up the catering order again?” You can almost hear Kieran's smile through the phone. “You'll fix it in time, you always do.”

“Yeah of course I will,” you grumble, now zeroed in on pulling up receipts and time stamps to triple check the order you placed versus the order that you were quoted for. “Just means more work for me is all. And just when I thought I was done for the day!”

“Shame that, I was hoping to get some time with you today.” You swear Kieran's voice is echoing. “You sure you can't put that off until the morning?”

“No, I can't, I have to do it now. Ugh, this wouldn't happen if people paid more attention!”

“I think you should close your laptop.”

Frustrated, you rub your temples and close your eyes. “Babe I can't. This is for tomorrow's lunch so-”

“So that means that you'll have time if you wake up early to get it fixed up. I think you should come downstairs.”

Okay, either you're hearing things or there really is an echo. You frown, setting your phone aside and listening closely for any sounds in the house, but you only hear Shadow, Kieran's dog, pacing downstairs on the wood floors.

“Did you send another delivery or something babe? Because Shadow always gets anxious when people come up to the door, I wish you'd give me a heads up.” Unfurling to your feet with a heavy sigh, you pad downstairs with your phone tucked between your ear and your shoulder. “One of these days you're gonna give that poor dog a heart attack-”

“Hi baby,” Kieran says, tucking his phone in his pocket. Shadow sits at your boyfriend's side, his tail thumping merrily whilst you stand perfectly still. Your brain goes into overdrive, mentally counting days and confirming that today was not Friday, and therefore Kieran should not be home yet… but here he stands before you, flesh and blood and just as handsome as the last time you saw him.

A delighted, high pitch squeal bubbles out of your chest. Kieran laughs and opens his arms, which you promptly take as an invitation to leap into them and latch onto him like a koala. “Oh my god, oh my god! You're home already?!”

“I am,” Kieran murmurs into your hair after kissing the top of your head. “I packed up early and decided I couldn't wait another second before I saw you.” The urge to squeeze Kieran until he wheezes is nearly overwhelming. Instead of acting on impulse and earning yourself a lecture, you pry your face out of Kieran's neck- his aftershave tickles your nose- and pepper kisses across his face.

“I- missed- you- so- much- you- pretty- boy-” Kieran's cheeks become hotter with each peck you press to his skin. Shadow barks to indicate he's keen to join in on the action. Soon Kieran is supporting your weight with a hand under your bum and scratching behind Shadow's ears when the big pup jumps on his hip to demand his attention, too. Kieran is happy to balance you both, eventually crouching down to sit on the floor with you still wrapped around him.

Once Shadow calms down and rests his big head on Kieran’s knee, the room quiets. Kieran draws shapes on the small of your back, letting you gaze upon him for as long as you desire. He is content with your fingertips brushing over his cheekbones, along his stubbled jaw and down the side of his neck. You smile at his contented sigh, the breathy sound distracting you from your reverence.

“You're actually tan. Took you long enough to stop burning like a tomato.” Your eyes flick to Kieran's smile and you do not stop yourself from stealing a kiss. You'll never take those lips for granted, not after being forced to cope without them for so long.

Kieran rolls up the sleeve of his white tshirt to show you his tan line. Halfway up his bicep, his golden, tanned skin gives way to his natural pale shade. You trace the line with a finger as Kieran defends himself, “Spanish sun cannae fully fix Scottish skin, my love. But I know you like when I'm not so pale, so I figured I'd soak up as much as I could before I came home.”

Muscles flex under your finger when Kieran wraps his arms around your middle once more. You lay your palm flat to soak up his warmth and smile to yourself.

“I love you just as much when you're ghostly white. Doesn't matter to me. But the sun makes your little bitty freckles come out, so I do enjoy those.”

Kieran's nose scrunches up when you lean forward to kiss it. You could sit like this until the end of days and be perfectly happy. With Kieran sat beneath you, soft, idle touches and whispered words would be more than enough to pass the time.

At some point Kieran coaxes both you and Shadow to your feet and leads you to the sofa. A happy sigh falls from his lips when you tumble into him and hook one leg over his hips. Shadow curls up in his normal spot at Kieran's feet like not a day has passed without his dad there.

“What should we do tonight?” Kieran's words are a rumble beneath the hand you have laid on his chest. When you don't immediately answer, Kieran’s hand lands on the back of your thigh and coaxes you to find your words with a soft squeeze.

“Dunno. Nothing? I don't plan on moving.” You assume Shadow's moody huff is a sound of agreement and grin. “See? Even the dog doesn't want to move. We want to stay right here and spend some quality time with you.”

The hand that drifts to the hem of your shorts is at odds with Kieran's words. “I guess I can't object to that. Just cuddle? I can at least have a couple kisses, right?”

Lifting your head just enough to meet his tawny brown eyes, you ponder his request. You drag out the suspense and drum your fingers on his chest despite both of you knowing you would never refuse a kiss. “I'm sure something can be arranged. Put something on the telly to entertain Shadow then, he doesn't need to be scarred for life, mister ‘I can't keep my hands to myself’.”

Kieran lifts a shoulder in a what are ya gonna do kind of gesture before putting on a random nature show that immediately captures Shadow's attention. One of Kieran's hands remains on your thigh whilst the other comes up to cup your cheek and pull your lips to his.

Stubble scratches your chin, but you don't mind. Right then, all that matters is giving Kieran the kiss he deserves. He expertly pulls soft, breathless sounds from you as his tongue glides against yours. The kiss feels familiar and brand new at the same time, like dejavu in the best possible way.

Breaking away for a chance to breathe allows Kieran to drop kisses like dewdrops across your jaw. You smile when he nibbles softly at the skin of your neck, already unable to contain himself.

“I said cuddles only tonight my darling,” you remind him. “You're pushing your luck. Behave or I'll make you stay in the spare room tonight.”

Kieran's laugh is full and throaty. You've missed the true sound of his laughter, without it being distorted by a speaker. “That's an empty threat if I ever heard one. If I was a betting man, my money would be on us falling asleep right here on this sofa.”

In the end, Kieran turns out to be correct. Neither of you moves an inch as the sun sets, your urgent emails suspended in time while you're safely wrapped up in your boyfriend's loving, tanned arms.

#kieran tierney #kieran tierney fantasy #kieran tierney fanfic #kieran tierney imagine #kieran tierney x reader #kieran tierney fanfiction #kieran tierney oneshot #arsenal fc #jac writes #forbidden fruit

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waterfire1848 · 4 months ago

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Sokkla Zombie Apocalypse AU please!

Hello, anon!!!

1. Sokka and Azula meet when Sokka goes into an abandoned warehouse looking for supplies and Azula attacks him, claiming everything in there is hers. Sokka tries to attack her but Azula moves around him and pins him down (Azula: At least now I have a sacrifice for the zombies. Sokka: Please, I need the medical supplies. That’s all! Just give me that and I’ll be out of your hair. Azula: And then you’ll need my weapons, food, clean water, I’m not an idiot.). Needless to say, she gives Sokka nothing which isn’t good before she’s the only one for miles with a good supply. Sokka is kicked out but stays, waiting for her to leave so he can get back in and get what he needs. He tries to break in again but she traps him, leaving him hanging up in a net. (Azula: What do you want? You seriously can’t be this stupid to actually try and steal from me. Sokka: I wouldn’t call it stupidity, more like…hopefulness that you’re a heavy sleeper. Azula: Stupidity.) Once again, she lets him go and tells him to leave.

2. Sokka, of course, sticks around but the next day he notices that the warehouse is getting attacked by zombies and Azula is struggling to hold them all off on her own. (A lot of weapons is great but you know what’s better? Having people to fire them). Acting on instinct, Sokka jumps down and helps Azula kill them all and secure the warehouse to make it more zombie proof. (Azula: Why did you save me? Sokka:…. Azula: You’re not taking my stuff. Sokka: Then let me help you and earn some stuff. I can help get food, help with the zombies, get more stuff from the city…I can help you. Azula: Fine). Azula agrees to let him stay and contribute and the two become pretty close friends. They bond over shared stories, make jokes together, help heal one another, and Azula even shares that she’s the last of her family (everyone else became a zombie) which is why she’s all alone. That’s the night that they kiss for the first time. For the next two weeks, everything is pretty perfect until Sokka tells Azula that he has to leave for a while. (Azula: What? For a meeting at the office? Sokka: I love that you think I’d have an office job. No, I just have to get something. Azula: Hurry back and take one or two of the weapons. Sokka: And the food? Azula: I think I’ll handle how much food you should take. Without being held back, you’d take all our food. Sokka: You know me so well *Kisses her* Azula: Sokka…stay safe. Sokka: I will. I promise.)

3. Sokka disappears for the next week after that, making Azula fear that something has happened. As the start of the second week rolls around, Azula goes to bed in terror that he’s gone and never coming back. Then, sometime that night, Sokka returns with a badly sick woman and one other person, someone who looks to be a couple years younger than Sokka and the woman. (Azula: What is going on? Sokka: This is who I needed the medical supplies for: my sister, Katara. I got a letter a couple days ago from Aang, that’s him, that she was getting worse and….and we lost a few of our people). Katara is provided with what medicine Azula has and starts to slowly recover. With three bodies in the warehouse now, it’s really started to take more shape and more supplies has been added. (Sokka: Hey. I’m sorry for bringing even more people here. I know you had a cozy little pad here and now Aang is here and Katara is here. It’s a lot. Azula: No comment on you being here? Sokka: I figured I would get special privileges as the boyfriend and all. Azula: What makes you think that? Sokka: ☹️. Azula: I’m kidding. I actually really like that you guys are here. I…It feels nice to not be the only person here anymore.)

4. Time passes. Katara grows stronger and stronger and helps secure the warehouse, Aang is incredibly fast and able to get resources from the city (he also knows how to farm and tries his hand at that), Sokka goes with Aang to get stuff or he’s in the warehouse helping set up surveillance, and Azula is helping Katara get better and setting up longer range weapons. Sokka and Azula’s relationship grows stronger and stronger with everyday. They train together, eat together, sleep together and, basically, spend as much time together as they can. (Sokka: Sick of me yet. Azula: No. Lucky for you, you’re very cute.) They got a pretty good little home and have stay relatively safe (of course there’s always a few attacks but for the most part they’ve been able to keep the warehouse and everyone safe). A year passes with the group living together happily until they’re asleep one night, Sokka is woken up from a lovely rest when Azula almost steps on him getting to the window (Sokka: Done cuddling for the night? Azula: Someone’s here. Sokka: How do you have heading that good? Azula: Live on your own for 10 years, you get some good hearing. Zombies are coming. Wake up Katara and Aang!) It’s not zombies. It’s Ty Lee and Mai.

5. Azula is beyond happy to see her childhood friends are alive, but that happiness kind of disappears when she hears them say that there is a civilization of people and that they can go with them. Azula doesn’t want to leave their warehouse. She claims it’s too dangerous for them to go and that they would risk being out in the open. Mai and Ty Lee try to argue that it’s better over there and safer, but still Azula refuses. Sokka is on the fence because, on the one hand, he doesn’t want to leave Azula, but on the other hand he wants to make sure his sister and Aang are safe. (Azula: I’m not leaving. I’ve put years of my life into this place. Sokka: You will die if you stay here! Azula: Then I’ll die! I just know that this place is safe! We’re happy, safe-there’s food! Water! Everything we need is here! Sokka: That’s all at the other camp too and there we won’t have to do so much on our own. You said you were lonely but if we go to this new place there will be so many more people and- Azula: It’s too dangerous. We have to stay. Sokka: We have to leave! Yes, it’s dangerous but once we get there we’ll be safe. Azula…. Sokka: I-Please come with us, Azula. Please. Azula: This is my home. It’s kept me safe for so long. I just…Sokka: I know. It was hard for Katara and me to leave when our family died but we had each other. You’ll have Katara, Aang, Mai, Ty Lee and me. Azula:…You’re sure we should leave? Sokka: I really think it’s safer for us to go. Azula: Okay. I’ll go, but I’ll be uncomfortable the entire time. Sokka: And that’s why I’ll be right there with you). They leave next week and head to the bigger settlement. Sokka stays with Azula so she can be sure the place is locked and protected in case they need to return. From there, he takes her hand and they walk away.

#it took everything in me not to create a Sokkla child #that’ll be an adventure for another time #azula #sokka #katara #Aang #atla #avatar the last airbender #Mai #Ty Lee #AU #zombie au #send me an au and I’ll write five headcanons for it #Sokkla

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nerdthatsiriuslylovesteaxx · 7 months ago

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Helpless part 55, how lucky we are to be alive right now

"PERCY JACKSON YOU BETTER FUCKING TELL ME WHY MY BROTHER ALMOST DIED!" An iris message appeared in his cabin, making Percy fall back onto his bed. It was around eleven in the morning; the words didn't process in his mind for a few seconds. Hazel had tears streaming down her face, eyes red with bags under her eyes as if she hadn't slept.

"Hazel, what are you talking about? He's been in the infirmary... Will is- he was fine I-"

"WHAT THE FUCK GOING ON? THIRD FUCKING TIME, WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING."

"I'll go check on him okay?" Hazel took a deep breath,

"Thank you Percy, I'd like to have some words with Solace when I get to camp, Reyna would to, I'm sure." The anger in her eyes would have made anyone else run in fear, he understood the pain, the anger, the fear, the sadness.

"H-hey I'm sure he'll be fine." He forced the words out of his mouth, he was also pretty fucking mad at Will, he'd told them he'd be safe in the infirmary, what the fuck happened? He waved his had through the message, breaking the connection before running to the infirmary. He tried to stay calm, he needed to, he knew it couldn't be Will's fault, Nico would be fine, he had to be fine. He opened the door, unlocked as always.

"Solace! Where are you?"

"He's in the second room, to the left, he's been a wreck all morning so be careful and be gentle."

"Thanks Kayla."

"No problem." He walked towards the room, the door had just been left open, he pushed it open and was scared of what he saw. Nico was laying on a bed, the only movement being the rise and fall of his chest which was likely induced by one of the machines hooked to him, next to him, sitting on the floor was Will Solace, head down in the knees crying silent tears. He sat down next to him,

"Everything okay?"

"Shit I'm so sorry, did anything happen?" Fuck he was meant to be working,

"Hey, man it's okay. Take a breath, what happened?"

"I- I was off for a little while and Nico- he- we think he shadow travelled out. He started drinking, the amount would have been okay for most people but it was in such a short span of time and he's already really weak because he still hasn't recovered from using his powers and he used them again and he lost a lot of blood not that long ago. He's in a coma, he probably will be for a while, I don't know if he's even going to wake up, ever. I know I was meant to tell Hazel and Reyna but I'm too fucking scared to and, shit there's something I need to show you." He spoke through sobs, his heart breaking with each word, hands shaking as he took off the blanket that was covering Nico. Dark shadow-like streaks covered his arms and neck probably covering his entire body, when Will touched them his hand went through. His skin was even paler than normal, he was cold to the touch, the only thing that made him alive was the fall and rise of his chest. Percy was too stunned to say a single word, he look at the small boy, so close to death and he felt guilty. He hadn't been able to help, it was too late, he hadn't been able to protect him, to stop all the horrible things from happening.

"I don't know what else to do, if we increase the dose of nectar it might start to burn him, I'm going to try so mortal meds soon. I don't think any of them are made for underworld power exhaustion butthey might help, I mean legally I can't give anything to him, he has a history of drugs and legally I'm not allowed to give him over a certain amount because it's bad for addiction. Right now none of that matters, I just need to keep him alive."

"Mate, I know it's your job to take care of others but please remember to take care of yourself. You look like shit, maybe get someone to cover for you for a day or two. There's a lot going on, a war ended pretty recently, there's a bunch of new campers coming in, your brothers missing and you've got a lot of people in the infirmary so just remember to let yourself breathe for a second yeah? You're not in this alone; also Hazel and Reyna already know."

"Did Jason call?"

"No, Hazel can feel when people are close to death or have died. Wait Jason found him again? Shit, I hope he's holding up, last time he was worried sick, we both were."

"He had Leo with him, I hope that helped him."

"It probably did, I'm gonna go, I- it just scares me to see him like this. If you ever need help in any way I'm free okay?"

"Thanks Percy, tell me if you hear anything about Austin."

***

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ailashiro · 8 months ago

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Hi! ✨

My Youtube channel recently reached 100k subscribers and even though it seems cliché or something unimportant to most people, it's quite special to me, so I wrote this text to at least express part of what I feel... I know it is extremely tedious to read a huge text, I won't judge you if you want to skip this and continue with what you were doing, but I'm immensely grateful to those who are going to read this (I don't know where you got the patience from) well, let's go…

I created the channel in 2017, two years after my first contact with Animation Memes, I was quite naive, I was still studying at school and all I wanted was to show my stories to people, even if my drawings were full of errors and the videos had a simple and amateur editing, I had a lot of fun and was really amazed to see a community growing and being inspired by the videos I made.

One thing I observed is that each animation meme YouTuber at the time was part of a group that interacted and did several collabs with each other, I wanted to be part of one, I don't deny that, especially Brazilian youtubers like DaianeBR, but I was happy to be just me and my subscribers, I remember when for the first time a video reached more than 1 million views (Fantasize Meme), I simply didn't know what to do with the huge audience that out of nowhere subscribed to my channel at the time kkkkkk

I grew and developed a lot over the years, both in art and as a person, my life changed and I went through difficulties and pain that almost took away the shine and desire to create that I had at the beginning of the channel (That's why my persona changed to a more apathetic character and little by little she regained some of her color and personality) I was close to reaching that 100k subscriber mark before, in 2019, however... Due to the problems in my personal life, I had difficulty finding the desire to draw from before and that's why the channel was stopped for a long time, losing many subscribers, which is normal, YouTube demands frequency, if it doesn't receive this, you are forgotten by the algorithm. From then on, the channel became something more secondary in my life, almost forgetting its existence at times. These were difficult times and in the next few years I focused on recovering what I lost.

In 2020 I joined the Ordem Paranormal fandom, it was there that I managed to get back on my feet and met friends who are like family to me today: Insaniam Inter Chao, my found family. That's why I changed my persona once again, little by little recovering the colors and shine of the past. With them with me to this day I managed to continue on this journey, they are very important to me, capable of unlocking feelings that one day in the past I myself locked them deep inside.

I ended up being in 2 other fandoms in which I made related videos for, including QSMP focusing mainly on the Hideduo ship kkkkk, I met wonderful people in this community and together with some of them I managed a doodles account on Twitter, even though I'm not in that fandom anymore, I don’t want to forget them, I will show support in each one's journey as much as I can.

And here I am in 2024, many things this year also almost took me to the ground, I still don't have the same shine as I used to and my emotional state is still not 100%, but I have dreams and the desire to continue creating, showing the stories that I create and make people inspired. Is it stupid and cliché or even too idealistic? Yes. I'm not intelligent and I'm probably just one of the crowd of artists on the internet, but knowing that to this day, whether I'm an old or new subscriber, following what I do makes me very happy... You know, I'm an extremely insecure person and I often don't I feel worthy of nothing, I don't even know how I interact with a certain number of audiences, that's why on my social medias i post a drawing/video and just disappear kkkkk, I may seem extremely responsible and admirable in the eyes of others who see my art, but I'm a person full of problems and I'm very afraid of the future, but despite everything I'm grateful for everyone who likes my content, even if it takes a long time to be posted.

I'm not famous for having 100k, I don't have a good frequency of videos, I'm terrible at interacting with the public, I don't do well with self-promotion, my videos don't get many views and I practically don't know how to follow any algorithm kkkkk, a complete mess, but I really thank everyone who participates in my journey, whether from the beginning or those who have just subscribed...

Everyone has a world inside them, everyone has their own story, you are more complex than you think and you are much more than just numbers. If I am able to inspire someone as diverse and deep as you, that would be my greatest happiness.

Thank you, really thank you.

Especialmente obrigado a todos os brasileiros que me seguem, não, eu não sou gringa kkkkkk, já me perguntaram várias vezes isso.

Until the next video or drawing! 🔷🌸

#thank you #anime style #digital art #youtube #artists on tumblr

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sissytobitch10seconds · 7 months ago

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Running

Fandom: Helluva Boss Summary: Blitz's shit day gets even worse when he sees a familiar face. It spurs him into something horrible that he can't really take back, but at least he didn't hurt anyone else this time. Warnings: Depression, PTSD, anxiety, binge drinking, explicit depictions of poverty, and manic episodes Word Count: 5,600 Ship(s): Blitzo Buckzo & Loona

Archive link!

A/N: So I saw a post asking for a fic of Blitz scribbling his face out of all the pictures in his apartment and this is what it turned into. For those of you who don't know, I'm very into Blitz and all of his messy, messy angst so it was really fun for me to get deep into it. This fic is heavy, so make sure to read the tags and proceed with caution if any of those things could trigger you. Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

The streets of Imp City were overflowing with people, both sinners and other imps. It was hard to navigate them on a good day but it felt as though he were back in the circus when he tried to push his way through them now.

He’d had another shit day, which wasn’t exactly rare for him. He was good at beginning to dig a hole and then just never stopping, at least until he reached bedrock or the shovel was taken from him by someone that had more common sense. He’d been like that all his life, which was how he had ended up where he was instead of on top of the world like a lot of other imps from his circus had.

The billboard for Fizz’s newest show appeared just in time to remind him how much of a failure he really was.

The two of them had been best friends for years, ever since Fizz was left at the circus and the attempt to find his mother had been for naught. They had been joined at the hip from that moment onward, always practicing and performing with each other. When they got older they grew apart as they began to find the niches that fit them best. Blitz began to perform exclusively with Barbie because the twin angle was a really good selling point, but he was always right beside his best friend as soon as he was off the trapeze or highwire. Fizz had seemed to like it, sharing all the same interests as Blitz even if their interests became different as they grew up.

Then the fire had happened. Blitz still wasn’t quite sure why the tent had lit so quickly or why the fireworks had been stored inside of the giant canvas death trap they worked in every day, but he had lost everything on that day. He had been turned away from his best friend’s bedside not only after the fire, but every month that he returned to try and contact him. Eventually he had just given up trying, Fizz didn’t want to see him and now he knew why.

While Blitz had been shoved out of the circus and had no one to fall back on, Fizz had a massive corporate sponsor. He had gotten the best prosthetics and a place to live while he was recovering. Blitz had gotten the cheapest fake eye that money could steal and had lived on the streets for an entire year before he had gotten his first job at Loo Loo Land. Fizz had been able to pursue the dream that he’d had, getting hoards of adoring fans and billboards in all seven rings. Blitz was struggling to keep his business from closing and putting all of his friends and family out of house and home.

He knew that he deserved it, since the fire was his fault in the first place. His father had read him the riot act after he had woken up in the hospital, it was a lecture he was never going to forget.

He tried to shake those words off of his shoulders now. They were ringing through is head and falling out of his ears so that they doused his body with the uncomfortable memories of what his life had been like back then. But it had been almost fifteen years and he was an adult, not some kid that was desperately vying for any kind of adult approval that he could get.

The reminder that he was an adult and didn’t need the approval of those around him reminded him of the options that he had to deal with his bad day. The customers that had spat in his face to seethed too long about how shit their lives had been wouldn’t be able to stick with him if he scrubbed the wounds that they had created off with some alcohol. He was technically supposed to be heading down to the store so that he could pick up some dinner for him and Loona, but she had mentioned something about going out with some friends.

While Blitz was glad that she was getting to know more hellhounds, he wasn’t sure if he totally approved of the crowd that she was hanging out with now. They pulled her away from him whenever they got a chance, which he could understand since she was a young person still living at home with her adoptive father. It hurt him, though, because when he had first adopted her she had followed him around wherever he went just to make sure that he wasn’t going to send her back to the pound like her last couple adopters had. She had since learned that he was exactly the opposite and she wasn’t too keen on that either, so she was pushing him away so that she could have her own space.

With that being said, he knew that she wouldn’t be at home. The last couple times that he had tried to get her to spend some quality time with him, even just as friends instead of father-and-daughter, she had bailed so that she could spend time with people that were more her speed. He knew that he would have done the same when he was a teenager or young adult, if he hadn’t lost his mother to those damn hellfire flames.

The memories were piling onto his mind and refusing to leave him alone, which just hardened his resolve. He turned at the corner where he was meant to continue going straight and began to search for whatever skeevy dive bar he could drink dry and run out on. Most of the establishments like that in Imp City were run by sinners, so he didn’t really give a shit if they lost a bunch of money on him. They’d already had a chance at life and he was on his first, so they could pay to let him forget all of the shit that was haunting him.

He found one without having to do too much searching. The first bar he had come across was overflowing with drunk college-age imps, so he had passed it by and instead come to the one a little further down the block. It was only six o’clock in the evening so there were very few people inside, for Hell that was. Thirty people all drinking and talking amongst each other felt like something that he could handle in the bad mood that he was in. He hadn’t quite gotten to the point where he needed to drown his sorrows in the biggest bottle of alcohol that he could find, yet.

The establishment wasn’t the shittiest place that he had ever been, but it also wasn’t really nice in any sense of the word. The wood of the walls had peeling wallpaper around the seams and at the top, in a way that spoke of too many humid days and not enough upkeep. The wallpaper itself was a nice yellow color, likely to disguise all the cigarette smoke that he collected there in a way that the ceiling simply couldn’t. The ground was covered in a collection of peanut shells, hay, and sawdust. The seats were all made of the same dark wood as the floor, underneath all the clutter, but the stools had some dark red fabric on them that was beginning to peel away from the base of the seat. The walls were mostly barren except for a couple framed and signed pictures of the Sins of Pride and Gluttony.

He sat down on one of the barstools as far away from everyone else as he could get. He waited for the bartender to pop up from where they were down inside of the bar, fixing the soda machine. It was one of the only bad things about drinking that late into the evening, that being that he had to put up with the repairs and maintenance of the establishment before he could get served.

Blitz felt his heart stop and then jump into his throat when he saw that the bartender of this particular place happened to be a Fizzbot. They were colored according to the bar, with yellow colored skin instead of the white that was common on most other Fizzies and red clothing with the symbol of the bar on their chest.

“I thought that this place was run by a succubus,” Blitz blurted out before he could think of anything better to say. He had never had a good relationship with the robot versions of his childhood best friend, mostly because the first one that he had ever dealt with had been when he was working in Loo Loo Land. That job had been the worst thing that had happened to him because of when it had come into his life and the kinds of things that he had been put through while he was trying to earn enough money to stay afloat. At least with IMP he had some say about where he was going to be on most days, even if the deal with Stolas was beginning to get to be too much.

“What, you don’t want to flirt with me, Blitzo?” the Robo-Fizz asked with a wink of one of his red eyes.

A cold shot rang through Blitz all at once. He had thought that the Fizzbot in Loo Loo Land had heckled and jeered at him because that was what it was supposed to do. There was a show for the children that included a lot of jabs at the parents so that they would spend a lot of money trying to dunk the Fizzbot afterwards, not that they would ever be able to get that stupid paddle to move more than a centimeter backwards. He had assumed that the robot knew his name because he worked there, it was a device that was made to remember the names and faces of the people that were in the park so that it could convince kids to come back again.

The fact that an entirely different model knew his name and was already trying to heckle him meant something that he wasn’t sure was going to sit entirely well with him. He had never come to the bar before, outside of peaking in so that he could collect M&M when they were getting ready to go on another job, which was how he had known about the other bartender. This robot knew his name and what kinds of things he liked without ever having met him before.

“How do you know my name?” Blitz managed to get out around the panic that was clogging his throat.

“I know all about you, Blitzo! After all, how can all of Hell not be aware of the firestarter that almost ruined their favorite jester?” the Robo-Fizz asked. He was speaking softer now, so that the other patrons in the bar wouldn’t be able to hear what he was saying. Blitz was beginning to regret coming to the bar at this time of night, if he had come later there might have been enough people that he could persuade someone to buy him a drink instead of having to deal with a being that hated him without even knowing why.

“I didn’t- It was an accident,” he got out around a choked voice.

“What? I just asked if you wanted the firestarter jester,” the Robo-Fizz cackled at him. “Are you sure that you didn’t already come in drunk, friendo?”

That was something that he wasn’t expecting.

Blitz was fully aware that he had spent most of his childhood daydreaming instead of actually paying attention to the world around him, but none of his daydreams had ever gone that far. He had heard about people regressing back into nightmares or memories when they were faced with something that triggered them back to a traumatic part of his life, but he didn’t want to admit that what happened to Fizz had fucked him up so bad he wasn’t even hearing people speak properly to him.

He slipped off of his seat and said, “Suddenly, I’m not thirsty anymore.”

He was once again glad that there was barely anyone else in the bar because only a few of them turned their heads to follow him as he stumbled out of the bar. He was so glad that he wasn’t in one of the better establishments where an underpaid bouncer would have to walk him to his apartment to make sure that he didn’t die on the way home. Even though they were in Hell and the sinners had lowered a lot of the moral values that the hellborn used to have, it was important to bars and restaurants that they be known as a safe place to come. All of the places where people went when they wanted it to be a bloodsport were in Wrath and Envy, not Pride.

Blitz stopped when he got a few doors down and placed a hand on his head. He couldn’t get Fizz off his mind, and not the way that he had been struggling with when he was a teenager. Instead of images of what their future might be like, what Fizz might taste like when they kissed, or the way that his body leached warmth when they cuddled together, the only thing that he could hear was the jeering from every person that he had ever loved. Fizz was the loudest, informing him that he was truly unloveable and even if he had managed to get himself together long enough to actually confess, there was no way that it would have been reciprocated.

Then came the image of his most recent girlfriend, the relationship that he had actually tried to sustain before he had given it up to try out hook-up culture. Verosika had been so pretty and so kind to him in the beginning, whispering sweet things every time he wrapped an arm around her waist when they were at a bar. She had gotten so mean towards the end when he was pulling away from her to try and save himself. He didn’t blame her for doing that, he had been the worst boyfriend in the entire world to her and no doubt deserved everything she had dolled out and more. The last thing that she had said to him had been over the phone when she was screaming at him for taking her car and maxing out her credit cards, which was the end of their last ever date.

You are completely and entirely unlovable, Blitzo Buckzo.

He knew that it was true. The only person that had really loved him was his mother, and the only reason for that was because she was a good mom and he was her child. He couldn’t imagine Tilla as anything but a doting, adoring parent who would love him despite all his faults while also pushing him to do better and go further. She had loved him even when he had messed up his routine, even when he had flubbed some of the numbers on the accounts to try and get the circus a little bit of savings, even when he and his sister were in the worst spat they’d had to date.

Barbie might have loved him at some point, but she had left the same way that everyone he adored did. She had been his other half, his mirror in many ways so that she completed him the way that the reverse side of a coin did. The reason that they worked so well together when it came to performing on the high wire was specifically because of that bond they’d had together. She hadn’t ever put herself in the line of fire when his dad was screaming at him, but he wouldn’t ask her to. She was more delicate than he was and he had always been there to protect her. Until he had lit the only home that they had ever known and gotten their mother killed.

He hadn’t even realized that he was walking until he almost ran into someone on the sidewalk. The stout sinner turned to cuss at him in a language that he didn’t understand and he just took off. He knew the way back to his and Loona’s apartment like the back of his hand from anywhere in the city, so he didn’t have to think about that as he ran. He just focused on the way that his heart was hammering above the voices in his head and how his lungs burned while they tried to drag in the sulfurous air of his home.

He raced up the steps of the apartment as quickly as he could and then had to stop. He stood in front of the door with his hands shaking so badly that he could barely even separate his house keys from the clicker for the van. Finally, he shoved the key into the lock and opened it so that he could fling himself inside. He slammed the door shut and crumbled down against the finished wood, as if that would somehow make him less noticeable to the voices that were following him around in his own head.

Blitz brought his knees up to his chest as he placed his hands over his ears to try and drown out the thoughts plaguing him. He had been doing so well, putting on such a brave face to the people around him at work and coming into his office. He couldn’t believe that it was all crumbling down around him because of one shitty day at work and the bartender where he was going to drink his sorrows ended up being a Fizzbot.

At the reminder of alcohol, he tossed his keys down beside him and then got up so that he could find what was left in the liquor cabinet. Loona must have raided it recently because the only thing that they had was an entire vat of Millie’s awful apple cider from the year before.

He normally would have just rolled his eyes and instead chosen to eat nothing but dry cereal right out of the box, but he needed something to take off the edge so desperately that he was willing to risk the stomach ache he had gotten the last time he had tried it. So he wrapped his hand around the top of the massive bottle and yanked it out of the cabinet, not even bothering to close the door. He walked over to the kitchen counter and pried the stopper out of the top, which released the sickly sweet aroma into the air. Millie apparently used to make this with her parents back when she lived in the ranch in Wrath, but she had a specific type of apple tree that simply couldn’t be found in Pride back then. The type of apples that had been used for the cider were the wrong ones, far too sweet and thus making a much stronger alcohol than was comfortable going with the flavor.

It was exactly what Blitz needed right now, he reminded himself when he almost put the stopper back onto the bottle. He discarded it down to the ground and then took a massive swig from the top. It burned the sides of his mouth and along his gums before it warmed his throat and stomach. He felt like he had when the Fizzbot at Loo Loo Land had dared him to eat a chili pepper from earth on stage and he had spent the rest of the night in agonizing pain. He wanted that feeling again, wanted to be reminded that the anguish plaguing him wasn’t something that had to stay in the unphysical realm of his mind.

He drank from the bottle until he felt like he was going to puke and then set it down. He let the alcohol flow into his system and numb the pain in his mind, as well as the tips of his fingers and toes. He hadn’t even noticed that he was crying until he felt the water dripping off his chin and onto the counter he was standing in front of.

All he could think about was the fire, even though the pain felt different now that he was bathing in the last remaining alcoholic beverage in their home. He had thought that getting drunk would make his bad day better, and in some ways it had, but in other ways it had made it so much worse.

He could still smell the burning flesh from his best friend, and the aftereffects that came with fireworks, stinging his nose. The scars on his hands and face ached with the reminder of when he had gotten them. He could hear Cash telling him that Fizz would never want to see someone like him, that he was holding his best friend back from the life that he really deserved. He could hear Barbie saying that she didn’t want to see him and that he was going to ruin her chances on getting out of rehab clean. He could hear Verosika, the most recent of the people he had driven away when they were trying to love him, reminding him that those around him would be far better off if they didn’t have to put up with him.

His body was moving on his own then, searching the house for the one device that would fix the problem.

His apartment was relatively barren despite the fact that he had lived there for over half a decade. The walls were painted the same shade of blue that they had been when he had first moved in despite his landlord’s offer to change the color when the other places around him were renovated. They had a couple of holes in the wall from accidents when he had brought his one night stands home before adopting Loona. Her door was the most decorated place in the main part of the house, with all of the caution tape and ‘do not enter’ signs plastered over it. The only thing that he had ever bothered to put up were the photos that he had collected or recovered.

A lot of them were the ones that he had taken when he had first started IMP. He had a set done with him and Loona were she was scowling and looking unimpressed at the camera or at him. The longer that he looked at the photos, the more he noticed that he was the only one smiling in them consistently. He had thought it was funny the way that his friends and family were scowling at him when he took the pictures, he knew that he was overbearing and overwhelming on a good day. Now all he could see was the moments that they were going to pull away from him, the actions that stepped over their boundaries and made them hate him like he had done with all the others.

He found the item that he had been looking for and then uncapped it. The smell of marker and cider mixed together in his mind and made him feel slightly nauseous, but he pressed on. He walked over to the wall and took the first photo off the wall, opening the back with his fingers until the tips were bruised and uncomfortable, so that he could remove the picture from the frame. He then flipped it over on the ground and scribbled out his face so that the smiling, grinning idiot staring back at him was finally silenced once and for all.

After the first one, a sense of mania took over him and he couldn’t stop. He took down each of the picture frames, one by one, and pried them open. He didn’t stop when he heard the wood or glass inside warping with his frenzy to get inside. A couple of the backs snapped when he was a little too rough with them, but all he did was wince.

His lungs burned again, like they had when he was running. In a way, he was running again. He was running from the pain that he brought people and the anguish that he would be plagued with when they left him again. He wasn’t literally running away from his problems, his legs were stagnant and his muscles weren’t aching from the exertion. He was running away from the future that was staring him in the face, just over the horizon and yet far too close. The words of the Fizzbot, of all the people that he had loved before the fire, and the imagined words of the people he loved now were ringing in his ears. It made him not want to stop even after his fingers had been cut open by the nails in the walls and the fixtures on the back of the frames. He couldn’t stop running, not until the future was nothing more than a blacked out abyss.

The marker had left black ink all over his hands and the alcohol sat heavy in his stomach. He got up from the floor where he had opened the last picture frame and then wandered over to the couch, collapsing down on top of it. He was still crying, his body making him more drunk by dehydrating him the entire time that he was going through his crisis. The blackness of the marker on his hands consumed his eyes and mind as he passed out.

---

Loona smiled awkwardly at her friends as they dropped her off in front of her apartment building. She didn’t really like them all that much, but she was desperate to have some connection back to the realm that she had come from. She was grateful to Blitz for adopting her and giving her a job so that she wasn’t put down by the pound for getting too old. She really was, even if she never showed it. Despite all the love he gave her and all the attempts he had made to make her feel comfortable, he would never make a pack. That was something that only other Hellhounds were going to be able to give her.

She wasn’t sure that the girls that she had been hanging out with were going to be able to fulfill that need either, though. It felt like they did genuinely want her around sometimes, they would invite her to things and make sure that they included her in the conversation which was a first. However, there were moments and things that the others did that made her worry that they didn’t really want her in their friend group and were just doing it because they took pity on her.

Her brain was full of stormy thoughts as she walked up the long staircases to her apartment. She found that the door was open, which meant that there had either been a break in or her adoptive father had made it home before her. After the day that he’d had at the office, she was surprised that he was home before two in the morning when even the scummiest of bars would begin to close down.

Loona opened the door and then immediately realized why he had been home before her. The entire apartment reeked of the cider that they had left fermenting in the back of the liquor cabinet after Millie had given it to them. Loona had been meaning to throw it out for months but only ever remembered that it was there when she was getting them both something to drink, which was never a time when she wanted to do physical labor in any sense of the word. The stuff was basically corrosive to anyone that tried to drink it, they had all gotten really sick after they had opened the first batch. Millie was the only one with the constitution to last through the bellyache that came after the first sip. Loona certainly hoped that the drinking experience had gotten better in the time that it’d had to stew in the cupboard.

The next thing that she spotted when she closed the door behind her was that all of their pictures had been taken off of the walls and were scattered outside of their frames on the floor.

She dropped her bag down next to the counter and walked first to the open bottle of cider. She placed the cap over it so that she didn’t have to smell the heavy alcohol as she worked. She then made her way back over to where the pictures were, the ones closest to the door ad picked the first one up.

Loona felt her heart sink low into her gut when she saw what had happened. It looked like a four-year-old had been released into their apartment with a marker and help. The picture was one that they had taken of the entier group when they had opened IMP for the first time, with all four of them standing in front of the brand new embossed door and grinning at the camera. She was standing further away from him than M&M were and wasn’t even smiling that much. She was pretty sure that she could even see her phone in her hand and her finger flipping through social media posts.

Guilt began to creep up the back of her throat like bad heartburn. She knew that she had been tough on him as she searched for that fabled feeling of pack, but she had never thought that it was that bad. Something inside of her was broken, she knew that. It was why she had never gotten adopted when she was in the pound and why she had trouble genuinely keeping friends.

She tried to ignore the feeling as she collected the frames and pictures, placing them in the biggest open space in their living room. Eventually, the guilt eating her up became so big that there was no way she was going to be able to ignore it, so she had to do something that would satiate it instead of simply making it more ravenous.

She laid all the pictures down on the ground and then picked her adoptive father up, laying him down properly on the couch. She placed a pillow under his head and rolled him to the side so that his face was out towards the windows and the TV instead of directly up at their ceiling. She removed his jacket and button up shirt so that he was in nothing but his wifebeater and a pair of boxers. She wasn’t going to go so far as to put him in his pajamas, that felt strangely like it was invading his privacy and might also go poorly if they had to do extra laundry with their limited funds. So instead, she placed the horse blanket from the back of the couch over him and tucked a trashcan right next to his face at the side of the couch.

For extra points towards removing her guilty conscious, she plugged his phone into the charger next to his end table and then got a glass of water, some imp pain killers, and some crackers set out next to it so he would find them when he woke up.

“I don’t know why you did this, but I’m going to fix it for you, Dad. Lucifer knows that you’ve fixed my mistakes enough that this is basically just a simple return,” Loona mumbled to herself once the task was done.

She returned back to the stacks of pictures and frames. Every single one of them had Blitz’s face blackened by the marker she had found still clutched in his hands when she was cleaning them up. There was no way that she was going to be able to get that off the same way that she might have if it were pencil of even pen. She just tucked them back into their frames and then closed them up with the side of her claws to avoid pressure bruises on the pads of her fingers. She removed the negatives or extra copies that he had missed from the back of the frames and kept them in a neat stack that was to go in her bedroom as soon as she had finished.

By the time that her normal time to go to sleep had rolled around, each of the picture frames had been returned to where they had been when they left for work the day before. The pictures were never going to be the same, each of them with Blitz’s face and only his face, blacked out with the ink from his marker. The only one that had survived was the blackened photo of himself and two female imps inside of his wallet, so Loona took a picture of that with her phone to make sure she could have it copied if anything happened to it too.

One day she might know why her father had decided to do what he had done, she might understand why he had adopted her as well. One day she might be able to fully grasp why she felt such a strong pull towards him and the other IMP employees instead of just pushing them away by saying the rudest, brashest, cruelest things that she could to them. Today was not that day, but it was a step in the right direction.

#fanfiction #fanfic #writing #ao3 #archive of our own #helluva boss #blitzo buckzo #helluva boss blitz #loona #helluva boss loona #running fic

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