#i look at the pictures like once a week and sob
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binniebakery · 10 months ago
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guys im going fucking insane over these photos imagine ur a model doing a shoot and your partnered with this guy for a wedding concept im dizzy someone hold me
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fizz-pop-thwip · 19 days ago
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I struggle thinking about non consensual human experimentation as a whole, but what happened to Bucky really it does just make me sick.
To start, think of how his stomach dropped when he fell from the train, the fucking fear knowing you're dead. You have 2 seconds and then your dead, this is it.
Then you wake up to 1) being alive, horrifically unaware of the 70 years of hell ahead of you and 2) your arm being not only surgically removed but replaced with a metal arm, a foreign body, a parasite. You fight because what else are you ment to do? But you fall unconscious again.
You wake up to days and days of torment and torture and slowly loose hope that it will ever end, that you'll ever be saved. He didn't know that Steve was dead, how long did he yearn for Steve to find him? How mad did he get? Did he punch the wall, did he scream? Did they have to sedate him because of just how psychotic that made him? How fucking manic he would go?
How long till he lost all feeling, all emotion and hope?
When they started putting him in the chair, did he scream and cry? Did he beg for anything else? Any thing, anything, fucking anything. Did he beg for death? Did he feel himself slowly lose all of his memory, did he sob when he first couldn't picture Steve's face, or when he could remember the most important person in the world, but not a name or a background or a face, not a crumb.
The first time he's put in cryo freeze, does he remember his reflection? Seconds before he fell unconscious, never knowing how long it would be before he woke up again. Did he wake up, begging to just be put back in, the closest fate to death he could ever achieve? The closest thing to mercy? Does he catch himself falling asleep at night and wake up in tears, not even sure if it's been 20 minutes of 20 years.
Did his crys for help fall on the shiney leather shoes of scientists who showed no emotion, did he question if he was even human to begin with? Surely a human would be treated with even a fraction of care. No one treated like this was born from a mother, no one treated like this was ever looked at with maternal love.
He stopped feeling like a person, he didn't even remember he was a person. When things seeped though it just hurt, they hurt him, it made it worse. So he stopped it, he wouldn't let himself. It was impossible to live. He had no coping mechanisms, no outlet, he would show any signs of struggle and be hurt for showing humanity. He had to be what they wanted.
Even after he was broken in, no crying anymore. No begging for mercy. Did he spend his nights awake, just TRYING to remember what he forgot, FEELING the missing spots in his mind? Did he hold that metal arm close because he can't even remember how he got it anymore, all he knows is it makes his shoulders ache.
He was completely and utterly trapped, the more he suppressed, even the minor shards he remembered, the more mania he would experience.
Even once he's free, how do you come back from that, even if it was just a mental thing, the physical, real DAMAGE to his brain was enough to make him never heal again. Bucky is a walking fucking miracle and maybe THE survivor.
He is going to have memory problems, severly. He is going to have intense PTSD flashbacks, total hallucination level, breakdowns. Seriously, this level of trauma is NEVER leaving him, not fully. Phantom pains, endless nightmares, coping mechanisms that don't make sense but comfort him none the less.
He's going to have periods of times where he can't even stand being touched, not Steve, not anyone. Weeks where he can't shower or move out of a space his brain has deemed safe for fear of being hurt. Scratches at the seam between his flesh and the metal of arm, wanting it off, wanting it away from him. Again does it necessarily make sense logically? NO!! but does he feel it 100%? Yes!!
He gets better, his bad periods get less intense, more far in between but they never fully go away. As fuckimg depressing as it is, hydra made a permanent mark on his psyche. It's FUCKED.
Gods strongest soldier is Bucky Barnes.
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neferaskingdom · 2 months ago
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♡ It's Always Been You | CS55
NEFERASKINGDOM
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Summary : After a painful breakup, Y/N receives an unexpected drunk phone call from Carlos following the Mexican Grand Prix, igniting a whirlwind of emotions as he grapples with his feelings for her.
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CARLOS SAINZ MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST
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Y/N sat curled up on her couch, the lights of the Mexican Grand Prix flickering across the screen. The roar of engines echoed in her living room, mingling with her racing thoughts. It was torturous yet exhilarating—watching Carlos race was like watching her heart dance on a tightrope. She had tried to turn away from the screen, to distance herself from the man who once filled her life with laughter and love, but she couldn’t.
“Come on, Carlos!” she shouted at the TV, hands gripping the edges of the couch as she leaned forward. Every time he swerved past another competitor, adrenaline surged through her veins, both pride and heartache battling within her. She couldn’t help but cheer for him, her heart swelling at the sight of him in that red Ferrari. But just as quickly as that pride built, it crumbled at the sight of Rachel, his new girlfriend, who flashed her bright smile at the camera, waving like she belonged there beside him.
Y/N’s stomach twisted painfully. It felt like a punch to the gut. How could he have moved on so easily? It was as if the relationship they’d shared had never existed at all. The memories of laughter, stolen kisses, and lazy Sunday mornings flooded her mind, leaving her gasping for air.
“Why am I doing this to myself?” she muttered, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill. It was like she was torturing herself, choosing to witness his success while knowing she was no longer a part of it. She had promised herself she wouldn’t watch, but the draw of his presence on the track was impossible to resist.
As the race progressed, her heart leaped when Carlos took the lead. “Yes! That’s my boy!” she exclaimed, but then the camera panned to Rachel again, who hugged him tightly after he crossed the finish line. Y/N’s heart shattered at that moment, watching him with her was like a physical blow. She let out a choked sob, pressing her hand to her mouth. “I shouldn’t be watching this, why do I keep doing this to myself?” she whispered, the weight of her emotions crashing down on her.
The voices of the commentators faded into background noise, just as the memories of her life before had. It felt like ages since she’d found comfort in those moments, the excitement of races shared with Carlos, his laughter mingling with the roar of engines.
But that was a lifetime ago—before the breakup that had shattered everything.
Carlos had told her he needed to focus on his career, that the demands of racing were too much to handle alongside a relationship. They had fought that night, voices raised, tears shed, but in the end, he had made his choice. She remembered the way his eyes had looked, resolute yet filled with regret as he walked out the door, leaving her standing there, heartbroken and lost.
In the weeks that followed, Y/N had found herself spiraling. She tried to move on, to fill the void he left behind, but nothing seemed to work. The world around her felt muted, the colors faded. She buried herself in work, diving into projects that usually excited her, but her heart wasn’t in it. Every time her phone buzzed with updates from social media, she found herself torturing herself further by clicking on Carlos’s posts.
His face smiled back at her in photographs, celebrating podiums with his new girlfriend, Rachel, who looked radiant and perfect beside him. They were at glamorous events, her arm draped over his shoulder. Each picture was a reminder of what she had lost, of the love that had once seemed unbreakable.
Y/N spent hours scrolling, heart racing with jealousy and pain, every interaction between Carlos and Rachel a fresh wound. How could he move on so quickly? She felt betrayed and heartbroken, trapped in a cycle of longing and sorrow. She couldn’t understand how he could go from loving her to appearing so happy with someone else, and every time she saw him smiling, it felt like a slap in the face.
Sometimes, they’d cross paths at mutual friends' gatherings, and each awkward interaction was like walking on glass. Carlos would greet her with that same charming smile, and for a fleeting moment, it would feel like nothing had changed, only for the reality to crash back down when she saw Rachel’s hand on his arm, the easy affection they shared.
Y/N’s friends tried to cheer her up, encouraging her to go out and meet new people, but all she could think about was Carlos. She could still hear the echoes of his laughter, the way he would wrap his arms around her, pulling her close when the world felt overwhelming. She missed him deeply, but the hurt ran too deep to just reach out.
She went to bed after finishing an entire bottle of wine all by herself. She was curled up in her blanket trying not to cry again when her phone buzzed to life. The contact name lit up the screen: Carlos. Her heart raced—fear, excitement, and a flicker of hope all rolled into one. She hesitated for a moment, remembering the last time they had spoken, the hurt that had echoed in his voice, and the way he had chosen his career over them. But she couldn’t resist; she answered, her breath hitching as she pressed the phone to her ear.
“Y/N! Oh my god, I can’t believe it’s you!” His voice was loud and slurred, a mixture of laughter and something heavier beneath the surface. She could hear loud music blasting in the background.
“Carlos?” she asked, concern washing over her. “Are you drunk?”
“Maybe a little too much,” he chuckled, but it was clear he didn’t care. “I just won, you know! Like, first place! In Mexico! This is insane!”
She couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm, but the happiness quickly faded as she remembered Rachel. “That’s great, Carlos. I’m happy for you.”
“Did you watch me? You should be here! I wanted to celebrate with you, mi amor!” He slurred the term of endearment making her heart ache.
“I… I saw it on TV,” she replied, trying to keep her voice steady. “But you have Rachel to celebrate with.”
“Ugh, don’t even get me started on her!” he groaned, the sound punctuated by a loud cheer from the crowd around him. “She’s just a PR stunt. I don’t care about her, Y/N! You know that!”
The admission made her heart race, but doubt crept in. “Then why are you with her?”
“Because I thought I could move on,” he admitted, his voice dropping lower, laced with regret. “But every time I see her, all I think about is you. You’re the one I want to celebrate with, the only one I ever wanted.”
Y/N’s heart twisted painfully, caught between hope and heartache. “You broke up with me, Carlos. You said it was for your career, that you needed to focus on racing.”
“I thought I could do it, but I was wrong!” he insisted, the desperation rising in his tone. “You’re everything to me, Y/N! I miss you so much it hurts! I can’t get you out of my mind!”
Tears welled up in her eyes as she fought against the emotions threatening to spill over. “You can’t just call me and say all this after everything. You don’t get to tell me you miss me when you’re with someone else!”
“Please, just listen!” he pleaded, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m a mess without you. I thought this would help, but it’s only made it worse. I wish you were here, celebrating with me. You’re the only one who gets me!”
“Carlos…” she began, her heart racing at the implications of his words, but she struggled to find her voice. “You’re drunk, and I can’t trust what you’re saying right now. You need to be honest with yourself first.”
“I’m telling you the truth!” he exclaimed, a mix of anger and desperation spilling into his tone. “You think I want to share this moment with her? No! I want to share it with you! Every trophy, every victory, it all means nothing without you by my side!”
His words stirred something deep within her, a longing that felt like a wound reopening. “But you chose your career over me, Carlos! You said it was for your future, and now you’re telling me you want me back?”
“Because I thought I could handle it, but I can’t!” he confessed, voice breaking. “I want to fight for us! I never wanted to lose you. You were my everything, Y/N! I can’t live without you!”
A sob escaped her lips, her heart heavy with the weight of his confession. “You broke my heart, Carlos. I don’t know if I can survive you breaking it again. I love you, it's ruining my life!”
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” he cried, the words tumbling out in a rush. “I didn’t know what I was doing. I thought I could handle it, but I’m lost without you! You’re the only one I’ve ever loved, the only one I will ever love!”
The sincerity in his voice shattered her defenses, leaving her vulnerable and aching for the connection they once shared. “You have Rachel, though. You need to make a choice. I can’t be your second option.”
“She’s nothing compared to you!” he exclaimed, desperation lacing his words. “I promise, once this triple header is over, I’ll end things with her. I’ll make it right! I’ll come back for you, I swear!”
His words felt like a lifeline thrown into the storm of her heart, but uncertainty still loomed like a shadow. “What if this is just the alcohol talking? What if you wake up tomorrow and forget all this?”
“I won’t forget!” he insisted fiercely. “I want you to be the person I see first thing in the morning and last thing at night, I want to go back to cuddling on the couch with you and making you pancakes in the morning. I want to fight for you, for us! I can’t imagine my life without you, Y/N. You’re my heart, mi vida.”
The tenderness in his voice made her heart swell and ache at the same time. “You don’t know how much it hurts to hear you say that after everything,” she whispered, the tears spilling down her cheeks.
“I know it’s complicated, but please don’t give up on me,” he said softly. “I need you to hold on, just a little longer. I’ll come back for you, and I’ll make things right. You’re my home, Y/N, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it.”
As the call ended, Y/N sat in the silence of her apartment, heart racing with conflicting emotions. The conversation had been a whirlwind of pain, and uncertainty, leaving her breathless. She didn’t know what the future held, but for the first time in a long time, she felt a flicker of hope.
Maybe, just maybe, they could find their way back to each other. She wrapped her arms around herself, imagining Carlos holding her close, the warmth of his embrace filling the empty spaces in her heart. As the night wore on, she clung to the possibility of being held in his arms again, even as the shadows of doubt lingered. In the depths of her heart, she knew one thing: she loved him fiercely, and despite the pain, she would wait for him to come back, hoping they could mend the pieces of their shattered love.
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trashmouth-richie · 3 months ago
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ad caelum vel ad inferos, tecum sum to heaven or hell, i am with you
the final part [4.6k] geta x reader summary: death, smut, GORE
🥀dulcis ut rosa 🥀dulex 🥀vitiosis + deliciosus 🥀frangere me
s/o to my beta @rxqueenotd , and anyone else i’ve screamed at with over this fic 🤎
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Blue skies could never compare to the icy hatred that filled Caracalla’s eyes as he stood above you, flanked by soldiers on either shoulder. “Perhaps the dungeon will help you remember which Emperor you are to be serving? Hm?” 
Blood trickled down your hairline, collecting in a slow drop from your chin onto the dirty floor. The cell was barely wide enough to lay down in. A piss pot stood full in one corner, its odor still more pleasant than the sickly aroma of Caracalla’s breath when he found you waiting for Geta. 
You had been startled seeing him instead of the man you had spent the last many nights crying for. Trying to run you were hit hard and the rest was gone until you woke up here. 
A swift kick to your legs and chest, had you doubling over, the pain boiling hot in your veins. 
“How incompetent do you think I am?” Caracalla spit. “My brother doesn’t move throughout these walls without me knowing. Months! He’s been fucking your mouth raw, spilling his seed down your throat after nights spent in luxury with me!” A giggle bullies out from his lungs, “did you think I hadn’t a clue? An inkling as to why his chamber stood empty at the same moment that you left mine?” 
You haven’t said a word and you refused to, he didn’t deserve an explanation. 
A tear slips down his rouge painted face, “I confided in you, we were soulmates you and I. Geta is nothing! He feels nothing!” 
You shook your head, unable to accept his words. “How did you do it, magae. How did you bewitch my brother to fall for your wickedness?” 
Raising your chin in spiteful defiance, you glared into his disgusting putrid eyes, “You pathetic, sniveling swine— I am no such witch, but I can not wait to witness the carnage Geta will bestow upon you.” 
Caracalla giggles in a high pitched tone, “oh my dear, he will be long dead before that shall ever happen,” he looks around at the moldy holed dungeon, “maybe you can charm the rats while you’re rotting away waiting for your precious Geta.” 
Wind and insects scratched at his face as he pushed his horse faster, hooves kicking up sand and rocks in a storm as they raced for Palace Hill. Geta screamed with rage when Acacius told him of your demise, knowing exactly who was behind it. What a fool he was for leaving you unattended. Caracalla must have found out, and maybe he himself was too blind by Cupid’s lust to notice the changes within his own kingdom. 
Tears squeezed from the corners of his eyes as he imagined the perils of danger you were now in— because of him.
His reins slapped sharply against the muscled backside of his horse as he pumped every ounce of strength from the mare to get home- to get back to you.
Whatever Caracalla had done, heads would fucking roll once he got back. That was a promise. 
How many days had it been? Four? A week? The dark had made you lose count. 
At times you weren’t sure if your eyes were open or closed, the pitch black was endless, curling around you like smoke and suffocating any happiness you had tried to muster. 
The dungeon was crawling with vermin, caked with disease and body fluids from decades before you had been tossed in here like a rabies riddled dog. Food had stopped coming, water was scarce except for the trickle of fresh springs that siddled down the stone wall. At least you told yourself it was a fresh spring that you were consuming, but more than likely it was tainted water that kept you alive. 
You prayed to the Gods that Geta would come for you. That he wasn’t head first into a war that he agreed to when you pushed him away. You were so stupid for doing so, but you couldn’t help the racking sobs when you pictured how hurt he was… and crying harder yet when realizing, that was the last time. 
Days had passed and you could feel your mind slipping from you. Exhaustion, dehydration settling in had you hallucinating images of the Emperor. It was almost comforting the way your mind was protecting itself, throwing you into an alternate reality of laying in his lavish bed instead of the hard shit-soaked stones. 
You could feel his blunt nails tickling your sides, but in truth it was beetles gnawing on your bare skin. Geta kept you warm and safe in your head, even though it was apparent from the lack of food, proper sunlight, and clean water—that you were falling ill. 
It hadn’t been that long since Geta had left, but approaching the Hill had his skin crawling. Dismounting his mare, everything seemed odd. 
It was unusually quiet. The air felt sharp against his skin. Smelled of pungent rot, souring his nose. The wind seemed to howl a song he hadn’t recognized— the sickly tune of a kingdom at war with itself. 
His father had trained them both on how to rule with force, how to command an army, to hold rank and battle to the blood flowing end—their enemies head on a stake. 
Caracalla by himself was juvenile when it came to war tactics, knowing the basics of stationing men on watch, high in the walls on the terraces. Two men for each direction, pointing their noses North, East, South and West. A handful of guards on the entrance. 
If this was a war with any other enemy— Geta would have spent a full sun tracking their movements meticulously. But never had his enemies captured something so dear to him. 
Acacius landed from his own horse beside Geta’s kneeled form, knowing his thoughts before he could even act on them. 
“It’s unwise, my lord…” he said carefully, placing a weathered hand on Geta’s shoulder, “we cannot risk the element of surprise when our emotions are clouding our judgment.”  
Geta’s eyes twitched as he stared ahead at the palace, his mind traveling to where you were being kept, knowing in his heart it was in the deepest part of the palace, the south dungeon.
He breathed raggedly through his nose before he spoke between gritted teeth, “I will paint all of Rome with their innards for what they’ve done, and I will not stop until their bodies are drained of all their blood.” 
Acacius shook is head in worry, clearing his throat, “you’re mind is unclear, you should rest before—”
Adrenaline raced through Geta’s veins as he mounted his mare, “I’m going, with or without your help. What good am I to her waiting for calculated time?” 
Acacius threaded a hand through his salty peppered hair, eyeing his emperor— his friend. His voice was riddled with pain when he spoke, “what good are you to her if you’re dead?” 
Geta pondered this, but his reply was simple, and he said the most truthful thing that has ever passed his lips, “I’ll be the man she makes me want to be.” 
“Up! Get up!” 
Caracalla had figured once Geta found out that his precious whore was locked away and starved that he  would be on his way to come and rescue you. He waited day and night for his brother’s return. And finally— there was a spec in the distance. His brother returning in all his glory. 
He skipped down to the dungeon— literally skipping and hopping on one foot in glee as he came down to the depths of the palace to retrieve you for the final act.
A hand clasped harshly in your hair, yanking you from a deep sleep, followed by a taunting giggle.
You had grown weak in your time secluded from light and clean air. Unable to stand on your own properly, Caracalla brought you to your feet like you were a doll, the flame he held showed just how manic and possessed he had become. 
He was like a poisoned animal practically foaming from the mouth with insanity. Biting his lip constantly, chewing and gnawing, infesting it with sores. He wore his best robes, bangles jingling as he brought you closer to his face. 
Jumping back, he lets your body slump against the bars, a hand to his chest, “Yuck— you smell like horeshit! Maybe we should have fed you more, bathed you… I’ve never been very good with keeping pets…” 
Caracalla rubs his chin for a moment, then as if he is brought back from a different time, he claps twice,  “oh well, time to go, your precious Geta is here and it’s time to play!”
You try to fight back feebly, trying to shove his face away from you, your filthy fingernails clutching at his doughy powder coated flesh.
“C��mon!” he pleads like a child, pushing your hands down and bringing a blade to your neck, “you’re going to be the star of the production and you simply can’t miss the show!” 
When sunlight hit your skin it was like you were being burned alive. Your feet scuffed against the stone steps, and you were winded from the climb. Everything was so bright as if you were looking directly into the suns beams. 
Caracalla hissed into your ear, the pungent smell of fruit and fish combining into a stomach twisting aroma as he whispered, “you’ve been such a delight to us here, I will be so upset to see you dead… I’ve been practicing my tears and cries of mourning for when you’re laid to rest with my brother.”
“You won’t be triumphant against him,” you croaked trying to wiggle free from his hold. 
Caracalla giggled before winding back and slapping your cheek, “why do you have to speak such lies? You will die by his hand— squashed like the gnat you’ve become.” 
The palace walls roared. 
Thundered like a storm of bees defending their hive. Clashes of swords and weapons gleamed like lightning against a dark sky. Amongst the clouds of dust from the lack of harvest rain, blood splattered the stones like oil paint to a canvas. 
Geta’s revengeful carnage had begun. 
Carnage was colored with maroon and deep sets of rubies in a hilt. Specs of pinkish brain membrane laid out like flower petals at a wedding. 
Carnage was the sound of teeth chipping at the root being ripped away from the gum line, the sheath of a knife embedded into a lung, an abdomen, the muscular thigh of one of Caracalla’s more prominent men. 
Carnage reeked of shit and death. The humble hands of Pluto himself, stretching his claws to welcome home another victim. 
Carnage was Geta, annihilating anyone who stood in his way to get to you. A force built with bared teeth and rippling muscles, sweat dripping from his honey hair. Eyes as black as coal— soulless in every sense of the word. 
The men falling dead by his hands trembled in cowardice when they saw him coming, forgetting how powerful he was with a sword. 
Swords drew silent, the only sound being the pooling fountains now tainted with blood from the dead. Everyone in the palace was either lying deceased or were in hiding, waiting for this hell to end. But Geta had only just begun. 
“Brother!” he shouted, his voice echoing against the marble stone, deep and ragged with exertion. He was standing at his throne then, bodies laying at a heap by his feet, his body covered in their blood, “I know you’re around, Caracalla—answer me!” 
Beyond the pillars behind the tapestries, Caracalla stood with a knife pressed into the meat of your neck, his breath hot against your cheek— a giggle forming in his throat like a child tucked away during a game of hide n seek.
“It’s a shame, Geta,” he announced, his voice ricocheting off the walls, “a fucking shame that you are so soft for this common whore when you’ve had so many, father would be disappointed.” 
Geta’s eyes narrowed, listening for any bit of noise underneath Caracalla’s feet to give him away. He moved on nimble feet, each move more quiet than the next as he waited with trained ears for Caracalla to speak again. 
“What is between you and I, has nothing to do with her— she is merely caught in the middle of our feud— let, her go.” 
Caracalla’s laugh pierced your ear, ringing loudly like a hyena as spit flew from his manic mouth. “She is much more than a simple bystander dear Geta… otherwise you wouldn’t care so proudly.” 
Geta strode towards the direction of his brother’s voice, waiting in the shadows. “You have always been less, why do you think mother and father had me? I was to make up for your shortcomings, so that Septimius Severus would have a decent heir. One who could actually keep the family name in Rome.”
“Enough!” Caracalla screamed, shoving you forward into the clearing, his blade still pressed into your neck, a line of crimson dripping from it, his frantic panicked laugh bubbling behind a shriek, “there will be no heirs for you, brother! I was going to offer her life in place of your crown, let you both be on your merry little way but you just don’t get it do you? I will rule on my own, and you will both be left to rot in the dungeons. Poetic isn’t it?! Two lovers dead by my hand.” 
With the way your head was arched toward the ceiling, you couldn’t see Geta. You could only hear a hitch in his throat at the sight of you. The sodden robes you wore, the filth caked to your skin. 
Geta didn’t move, knowing that Caracalla would be more likely to accidentally cut you deep enough to kill you if he tried to do anything drastic. But the look of you made his stomach curdle like cows milk left in the summer heat.  
The once plump and luscious curves you had were gone. The robes you wore were next to rags. You had been locked away far longer than he had imagined. Possibly weeks before he had even got word of it. If you truly had been with child, there was no tell of it now. Tears stung behind his eyes, but he wouldn’t let them drop.
“Mother should have drowned you in the river like a litter of pups,” he nearly whispered, eyes trained on his brother, “release her or I will slaughter more of your men leaving their poor wives to be widowed.” 
“Now why would I do such a thing? I’m having the time of my life orchestrating this production.” They both moved then circling like the gladiators would in the coliseum, baiting one another to strike first.
Geta’s eyebrows furrowed at Caracalla’s choice of words… production? 
“Must you be so dense? So surface leveled?” Caracalla answered, “Jessaphina, that wart—terrible actress but she did the job, made this concubine believe every word.” Caracalla grinned like a opossum eating a pile of shit, dragging you with him, your hair wrapped tight in his clutch.
Geta’s eyes never leave Caracalla, his movements smooth and languid as he counts his steps, seconds. 
“Pliteus, the guard who told her to meet you at ‘your spot’ another spy, made actor by yours truly, for the Theatre, of course. And all that leaves is you, Geta. You will be the widower, the brute left in tears of sorrow pleading for a whore’s life. Gods!— I shall be famous when this is through!” 
“You’re demented,” you managed against the sharp blade, cutting yourself in the process, “sickenly so.” 
Caracalla wretched his hand twisting your head back with a snap, causing you to yelp, ”I’m an artist you rancid cow! Can’t you see that?! This was all a form of expression— your uneducated brain would never be able to appreciate such a thing— it’s why I put this all into motion!” 
“So what?” Geta spit,  “you were bored? Needed an activity to keep your cogs oiled enough for you to not slit your wrists in the baleneum, again? You’re a child!” 
Caracalla giggled wickedly mad, “People will write about me for the end of time and how I bested Publius Septimius Geta! You will be nothing more than a myth—erased from memory entirely!” 
Geta stopped, his sword pointing toward his brother. The wind didn’t howl, silence fell between them.
“It will be a true honor to breed my empress in a bed of your blood while she wears her crown.” 
With a jerk of his head, Acacius moves, causing the distraction they had planned. The arrow missing Caracalla’s foot purposefully, causing him to lose his balance and hold on your body. You fell to the ground taking advantage of his blundered state, crawling on all fours away from him. 
Just as the swing of Geta’s blade was centimeters from the skin of Caracalla’s neck, it was stopped with his knife, a crude smile licked onto his lips. “I know your moves dearest brother, you forget it was you and I as children playing these games.” 
Caracalla pushes the sword from him and jabs the tip of the knife into Geta’s bicep. Tearing through tendons and muscles with each twist of his hand. 
“War is not a game,“ Geta gritted, tripping Caracalla with a swipe of his foot until he was on his knees before him, “…and it’s time you realize that.” 
A toss of Acacius sword into Geta’s open hand, and he pressed two blades crossed beneath Caracalla’s chin. 
Caracalla’s throat bobbed against the sharp steel, accepting his defeat, “make it swift precious brother, I intend to see father before the sun sleeps.” 
The blades sung as they severed his head from his spine. Blood sprayed and pooled from the limp teetering body of Caracalla, swords clattered to the ground as Geta stumbled to your side, holding you to him in a bone crushing grasp. 
“You’re safe now.” A tear fell onto your head as he cradled your body into his. 
Your body was still weak as you clung to him practically lifeless as he lifted you from the ground. He instructed Acacius on what to do with the mess. Geta carried you to his private bath, stripped you gingerly of your clothes and bathed you with exceptional care. His lips kissing tenderly to every scrape, every bruise. 
He tutted through his teeth and hissed when your tears fell as he gently wiped the dirt and infection from your cuts. His own tears flowing down his cheeks, mumbling how sorry he is how stupid he was for ever leaving. 
When you tried to speak he shushed you quietly, “not now my dulcis rosa,” he soothed as he scrubbed soap into your hair, you lifted a hand to caress his cheek, coaxing a small smile from him.
Geta called to his servants— that weren’t killed—to gather fresh robes and to fix you something warm and easy to eat. 
He dried your skin once you were cleansed. Rubbing oils and ointments into each ache and pain, dressing the wounds in such expertise you wondered if he had done this often, probably to his own scars. 
Up those winding stairs he carried you to his quarters, never wavering, never once adjusting you in his strong arms.
The room was thrown into its usual cozy dark ambience. His bed was made with enormous feathered pillows, a tray next to the bed with a plate of porridge dressed with honey and figs. 
Once Geta had set you gently onto the pillows propping you up so you could eat, he shook his head when you reached for the spoon. 
“Let me,” he commanded quietly, his eyes large and wet. 
More tears slipped past your lashes as he sniffed largely, blowing gently on the bite of food. “When was your last meal?” 
“I’m not sure of what day we are in,” you answered quietly, “or how long I was there… I lost track.” 
Geta bit back a sob as he brought the spoon to your lips, “It shouldn’t have happened, I shouldn’t have left you so vulnerable.” 
“Please,” you practically begged, swallowing the warm sweetened wheat.  He looked broken, his under eyes dark and his eyelid twitching uncontrollably. Weeks the two of you had been separated and you couldn’t bear the thought of him spiraling for what had happened.
“We are together again,” you whispered, “I do not want to live in past mistakes. Caracalla is gone now, we must move forward, no dwelling.” 
“Forgiveness of thyself has never come easily for me,” Geta admitted wiping a dreadful sigh from his face, “but I can only hope you now know that there has never been another for me—I am so deeply in love with you, gnat.” 
You reached for him pulling him into you until the weight of his body melted with yours. Feverish lips tasted the sweat from his neck as you desperately ached for more of it, pressing your own devotions into his skin, your own words of cupid's love.
Geta’s strong arms wrapped around your back, holding you tenderly as if you were glass. pressing a single searing kiss to your collarbone before leaning back, his eyes staring into yours, “In this lifetime and the one that follows, I will forever be yours— ad caelum vel ad inferos, tecum sum.”
“Ad caelum vel ad inferos.” 
Caracalla’s room was sealed off. His belongings burned in the coliseum along with his body, as if he were a monster that could only be considered dead by smoldering licks of flame. 
Geta left the fate of the others up to you. He had wanted them dead the next day, hung from a rope by their necks as they swung with the breeze, paraded around behind his team of horses until they’re skin was pulled from their bones. But you… had other plans. 
Animals from other territories were brought in by the shipload, each more vile and vicious as the next. They were hungry, trained to attack at the smell of garments worn by a certain woman with a healing broken nose. 
It was maybe a bit too grotesque, maybe a bit unhinged the way you had Acacius’s best men tie Jessaphina up from her ankles and wrists one to each post in the center of the coliseum.
And maybe it was a bit over-the-top when you personally rubbed greasy fat and cow entrails all over her body to taunt the beasts on even further. 
But Geta only smirked at your own impressive drive for bloodlust when you stood before your throne hollering for the men to open the gates, releasing the hungry scavengers one by one letting them sniff out their meal. 
Geta watched in admiration as your eyes turned dark, black pools taking over your pretty gaze as Jesspahina’s screams rang through the air
You couldn’t get your hands off of him when her body lay ripped to shreds, her bones being tossed around between snarling teeth and sharp black claws. The sand colored in her crimsoned blood. You pulled him from his own throne by the front of his shirt, yanking him into a small private room covered by a drapery for a door.
“My little demonic empress,” Geta growled as he pushed himself further into you, groaning when you whimpered out, your lip bit between your teeth, robes rucked up to your chest, “you just might be more evil than I am, have my ways rubbed off on you?” 
The passion between you two had never dulled. Each day it seemed to grow with fervorous desire. Some days Geta fucked into you until you were too sore to walk. Your bodies were both painted with stains from sucking mouths and marks from gnashing teeth. Each time better than the last. 
You were soaked when Geta knelt before you, his nose pressed into your sex as you circled your hips onto it. He stood and shoved his clothing out of the way, yours already stuffed beneath your chin. and when he slammed his fat cock into you the darkness returned. Two demons fucking at the loss of life and smell of blood in the air. 
“Practically getting off to a hideous murder in front of my mother and the others, my my…” he hissed, wrapping a hand around your throat squeezing until your breath rattled beneath his palm, “you truly were sent to me from the Gods weren’t you?” 
You nodded, moaning when he attached his lips to your neck, pinching your nipple until it purpled. “Nothing makes me happier than seeing the deserved slaughtered.” 
Geta groaned as your clenching pussy gripped him as you came undone, his own release following closely behind, yelling out your name. 
“I have a surprise for you,” he breathed raggedly into your neck, adjusting your robes back into place, sweat pouring from his brow.
Your smile squeaked against his ear, “it is not even my birth date, Geta, you are spoiling me.” 
Leaving the room Geta kisses your palm, “no,” he agrees, “it is not, but am I not allowed to gift my wife with divine luxuries?” 
“You are, but you don’t need to give me anything…” you say, holding your belly with which the healer confirmed that you were indeed with child all along. Something Geta never let you forget that he knew you better than you knew yourself. 
His lips pressed to your cheek, his hand laying delicately on your stomach as you whispered, “you’ve given me enough as it is.” 
He smiled wickedly pulling back to lace your fingers with his own, “come,” he commanded, pulling you back towards the palace. 
The great stone table stood bare except for a golden cloth. Acacius proudly stood guard next to it, bowing upon the sight of you. 
“My lady,” he greeted, smiling at the sight of your radiant face, then facing Geta with the same warm smile, “Emperor.” 
“Thank you,” Geta said, rubbing his hands together excitedly, “hope you didn’t have any trouble getting it?” 
Acacius smirked and adjusted his sword on his belt, “not at all, they were quite thrilled to be rid of it.” 
Geta rippled out a laugh from his throat as he stood behind the table, his large hands pressed into it, “I can only imagine… Gnat, my love, are you ready?” 
“As I will ever be,” you said cautiously, stepping up to the table. 
Acacius stood back as Geta pinched a piece of the cloth between his fingers, “presented to you, my undying devotion,” he said sweetly before pulling the cloth revealing your present. 
Anyone else would have ran and screamed, damning him to hell. But you were unlike everyone else, and you saw the beauty in his gift and the meaning behind it. 
Blood had been drained, the smell minimal, and judging by the way the darkness that filled Geta to the brim and now poured into yourself was clouding your eyes, the mad tick of your lips as they perked up in greed: you were pleased. 
“It is exquisite, amor meus,” you smiled wider, getting closer to your present. 
Geta looked at you proudly, his eyes inky and shining. His gnat, his dulcis, his wife, his empress— his tainted heart content for the first time in his life, and it was all thanks to you. “Where shall we put it, the mantle?” 
You picked it up, holding it high to the sky for the Gods to see, “a gift more precious than gold deserves to be seen, for all—don’t you think?” 
Sat on a pedestal, his name engraved on a piece of wood, a large red rose sewn between his lips, was the severed head of Caracalla. 
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taglist: @joejoequinnquinn @fallout-girl219 @all-will-be-well-love @anythinggoesemily @eddiesguitarskills
@prestinalove @razzeith @workingwndrz @probablyin-bed @songforeddiemunson
@avobabe87 @creative1writings @liminalpebble @screaming-blue-bagel @spookyquinnbie
@ghosty-boo-shh @creepycranberry @aphrodites-divine-nectar @hillarymurray4 @iamchallengerred
@alyisdead @honey-eyed-munson @justiceforfelicityfeatherington herington @hereforshmut @runningupthatvecna
@rxqueenotd
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writing-fanics · 11 months ago
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don’t mess with the devil ii
Part I final
Chapter ii: Home is with you
[warning: mentions of sex]
Lucifer Morningstar x human!Reader
Y/n
Y/n?
Sweetie?
The smell of chemicals wafted through your nose, and the occasional beeps that sounded like a heartbeat monitor? You groaned, and your vision still blurry. “L-Lu?..” Your voice hoarse, but the voice didn’t respond.
“It’s me mom.” The voice said, causing you to sit up quickly in response. “Whoa, slow down.” Your mother, said placing a hand on your back. “I-I’m back..” You whispered, and your mother looked at you worriedly. She gently rubbed your hand, “Yes you’re. Thank Heavens.” She said, planting a kiss on the side of your head.
You sat there and said nothing, staring blankly at the blanket. Processing everything, you were no longer in Hell. No longer with Lucifer. You were back home on Earth with your mother. Like you always wanted right? Then why did you feel so cold? So empty?
You felt as if a piece of you was missing. Like you were missing your other half. Your Lucifer. You missed his warmth, his smile, and his goofy personality at times. He always found a way to make you smile whenever you were feeling down, and you would return that sentiment.
You didn’t tell him you loved him yet, he’s told you. But he respected that you might not be ready to saw it yet. He understood completely, once you explained it to him. Having told him about your bad relationships in the past. Now, that all seemed to end right now. You were never going to see him again.
“Y/n, oh sweetie you look pale.” Your mother said, snapping you out of your thoughts. As she placed her hand on your forehead. “I’ll be right back.” She said, and you assumed she left to get the doctor. You frowned, as you laid back down in the hospital bed. The hospital gown fabric scratchy, and the sound of the heart monitor made you sick.
You laid on your side, back towards the door. Your stomach grumbled, but you didn’t feel like eating anything. Laying in the single bed made you, the king sized bed you shared with the king of hell.
The satin sheets and the comfortable bed. Mainly you missed, laying in bed with him cuddling or just laying there to relax. Or of course doing the ol devils tango. You missed the smell of the caramel apple candle that filled the bedroom. The smell of freshly baked apple by on Saturday mornings.
Tears trickled down your cheeks, as you hid your head into your pillow. As much as you were happy to be back home, seeing your mom again. Somehow, what was once home no longer felt like it.
You opened your closed hand to reveal, a golden ring with wing like textures engraved into it. Tears welled up in your eyes, as you were filled with so much regret.
“I should’ve told him..” you sniffled, as you closed your hand again. Hiding your face into your pillow once again. “How much I love him.” You whimpered, as you sobbed.
back in hell
Weeks later
Lucifer sighed, as he leaned forward onto his desk. His eyes wandered towards the framed picture on his desk, of you and him at Lu Lu World. “This is way better than Disney!” He remembered you said, after which you showed him pictures. He knew of another park called ‘Hellsney’.
You had faded away from his hands, and a part of him knew you were going back to the living world. He felt it when part of his magic he shared with you, returned to him. He didn’t even get to say goodbye, tell you how much he loved you before you faded away in his arms.
At least, he knew you were much sadder up there than here. He couldn’t bear the site of your beaten and battered body. Adam was lucky that Charlie was there to keep him, from killing him.
Lucifer stared down at Adam, as he held Charlie in his arms. His voice distorted and demonic. “You come at me my daughter and my partner!” said Lucifer, as his daughter stepped down onto the ground.
He lunged towards Adam, and stood over him. Eyes red glowing filled with rage, “Don’t forget your in my house now bitch!” He laughed, demonically as he threw punch after punch. With the intent to kill. You don’t mess with the devil or his family.
He’s going to miss that smile of yours, that infectious laughter. Your voice, and your delicious cooking that rivaled his. He never thought he’d find love again after, Lilith left. Yet, here you come in six years later. A human no doubt ending up in hell so suddenly, and he fell in love with you.
Now, you left too. Not by choice but you were gone as well. He was still recovering from Lilith leaving him while the two of you, were still in a relationship. You told him that you understood, being together for as long as they did you understood.
You being there with him helped seemed to heal that wound. Then fixing his relationship with his daughter helped too. But now that wound in his heart, seemed to open back up. Hells, he loved you god so fucking much. You were special there was something about you, maybe the two of you were soulmates.
A silly thing to think but it could be possible?
He reached towards the photo, and stared at it longingly. You had a goofy smile on your face.
He remembered that day, after that photo was taken. A hellbird flew down, and stole his caramel apple. You gave yours to him, and the two of you shared it.
God he was going to miss you..
“Come on.” A distorted voice said, he turned around in his chair. “Who’s there?!” He called out, but saw nothing. Was it all in his head. He could’ve sworn that voice sounded familiar.
“Lu!” A voice called out, a faint yellow glow as if a portal trying to manifest itself appeared behind him. He didn’t notice a hand reaching out to touch him, through the tiny hole.
He thought it must’ve been that Alastor, pulling some sick twisted prank on him. But he could’ve sworn, he felt a little bit of his magic leave him.. That could only mean..
Taglist: @96jnie
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cherrysurf · 4 days ago
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winning you back pt.2
-where haikyu boys try to win back you their ex gf
-this is lwk depressing but maybe it’s bc of the music im listening to rn LMAO
contains; atsumu, tsukishima, kita, sakusa, oikawa, iwaizumi
pt.1 of winning you back here!
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atsumu; He still very much has all your pictures on his feed that he never deleted and never will you had to go minimal contact with him because he kept texting you every other day to try to get back together, he still loves you and thinks your gonna be his wife and that this is just a rough patch, so when you post that you’re going to be volunteering at osamu’s restaurant for a charity that osamu is doing for young kids to get into volleyball he takes it upon himself to cancel his practice for that day and go and join you two and begged and forced osamu to make you too work together so he can talk to you, and those dam miya’s being so good and weaseling there way back into life’s, it worked. You two are now talking again. You told him that you wanted to take this slow, but atsumu later that week posted a soft launch of you two at dinner.
tsukishima; tsukishima acts like he’s so nonchalant but no one’s seen him cry over how bad it’s killing him that you can fully ignore him when he’s usually the one doing that. He hates how bad he fucked up so he decided to make a plan to win you back, what does that mean he had to do? work at the same cat cafe as you, at first you weren’t on the same shifts and maybe hanging out with cats was a plus but getting crushed on by other girls wasn’t. Anyways as soon and he saw you two were on the same shift he couldn’t be more happy, it was a slow shift so he used this time to catch up and be very soft and respectful he saw you weren’t fighting back so he was thinking that was a step forward, until later on when a girl came by to order a drink and was clearly flirting with him so tsukishima ignored her, as she said “can i get your number?” you turned to see what he would do all he said was “no i have a girlfriend she’s right there actually, i don’t what gave you the confidence to think you could ask me” he said laughing which left the girl embarrassed and you flustered.
kita; Kita is forever my yearning man. He writes letters for you and sends them, you kept them all because you still didn’t get over him. He thought it was the right choice to let you go but he couldn’t have been more wrong, and I fear kita is the type to have a romantic scene like the movies. So what? anyways he comes by your hour IN THE POURING RAIN. to apologize “i’m sorry im selfish for breaking up with you yn, i just clean up well i forget myself” OOOO YOU END UP SOBBING BC WHO WOULDN'T?! anyways safe to say you kissed in the rain and he won you back
sakusa; stubborn ass ho. He was shocked when you broke things off even more when you actually stood on business, sakusa was one to keep his composure and not crashout but he couldn’t understand why he was so affected by the breakup it’s like his whole life flipped upside down. He even stopped keeping up with himself for a bit which was totally out of the norm. So when you saw him at your apartment in the lates of the night messy hair, wrinkles in his clothes looking dead you knew something was wrong, he almost felt like he could breathe again once you embraced him, disgusting and all and he didn’t let go since and tried to change for the better
oikawa; He acted happy at first like it didn’t matter because he thought you needed him more than he needed you. Oh how wrong he was, the fan girls didn’t support him the way you did, didn’t cheer for him the way you did, no one could cook as good as you, no one could get him out his depression like you could, so one night around 4am he gave you a call wanting to quit volleyball because he felt like he couldn’t do anymore without you there, which broke your heart because you saw how bad he was struggling without you there and that’s when he finally admits “I needed you more than you needed me. Come back yn, i’m sorry” and you did because you needed him just as much as he needed you.
iwaizumi; it was mutual breakup but not really he just did whatever he could to make you happy he hated fighting with you, he never deleted your pictures, he still kept all your stuff that you didn’t take at his house, he was still loyal even if you weren’t together, He blamed himself for not fighting back. he became very very career oriented that’s when he saw you at a job interview, you had just finished interviewing for the place he works at as a sports medical assistant. you weren’t aware he was working there so he stopped you and asked to get lunch since you were leaving and he was on his lunch break. That's where he apologized for not doing more and still thought about you and asked for a redo and would do anything for a second chance, and you agreed because you felt the same.
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tags; @solarvrse (for the atsumu one) @sahrii (for the iwaizumi one)
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indulgentdaydream · 8 months ago
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Comparisons Pt.2
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Jason Todd x Jealous!Insecure!Fem!Reader || Angst/Fluff || Word Count: 2,730
Part 1
Warnings: insecurities (reader). Bad self esteem (reader). Criticizing oneself in the mirror (reader). Black eye (jason)
Have at ‘er guys.
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The first thing you did once you got back into your apartment was throw your bag on the floor. The next thing you did was slump back against the door and slowly slid your way down until you were sitting on the ground, knees to your chest, head tucked into your folded arms.
Your eyes had been burning the entire walk back. Your throat was tight and especially your lungs from how fast you had power-walked.
Now that you were out of the public eye, you let the tears finally fall after trying so hard to hold them back.
Thank the crime for Gotham’s low rent. You didn’t think you’d be able to make it to your bedroom to hide your oncoming sobs if you had been living with roommates.
You were exhausted. You felt entirely stupid, too. As if you weren’t enough for Jason. Artemis had everything. Everything you didn’t and more.
You were beginning to think he had settled for you.
You knew he could pull attractive women. Could pull damn gorgeous women. He was entirely handsome himself, even though he never saw it.
Nearly every time you two were out he would have people coming up to him. Flirting with him. Asking for his number. Even when you were right there, his arm around your shoulders or your waist. Or if he was alone because you had gone to the bathroom. That was when they came out of the woodworks the most. It’s like even they could tell you were subpar for him.
The thing is: Jason would never even look at them. No matter how long they stood there. Usually, when he had ignored them for long enough and was getting annoyed, he would pull you into a deep kiss. He wouldn’t stop until he was sure they had left.
You couldn’t even explain why you felt like this. Jason had done nothing to prove that he didn’t love you.
But if Artemis, someone Jason had very possibly loved before you, was still in his life… what chance did you have at being allowed to stay?
Another sob left your throat. You were never in Jason’s league. Why ever pretend? Especially for this long?
You had overstayed your welcome.
Your phone buzzed in your bag. A call coming through. You sniffled, as you pulled it out of your tote.
Jason’s profile was displayed across the screen. A picture you had taken of him when you had dragged him out to the park a few months ago. You were both smiling at the camera as you took a picture. You had thought he looked so handsome in it. A soft smile, kind eyes looking a little off from the camera, the sun basking him in a sweet early spring glow. You had never liked the way you looked in that photo. When you made it his contact, you had cropped yourself out.
You frowned as your phone kept ringing. You didn’t want to deal with him right now. You set the phone on the ground in front of you, face up, letting it go to voicemail.
Your phone went black again. You started feeling a little guilty. Then, seconds later, it rang again.
You didn’t pick up. Even despite the guilt that began to chew at your stomach lining.
That call only rang four times before ending again.
A minute. Then a text message.
Jason: Just tell me whether or not you made it home, baby. Please?
You stared at it for a moment.
Another text.
Jason: I’m coming by soon either way. We’re talking about this.
You frown. He sounded mad.
Your head pounded lightly. A headache from how hard you’d been crying.
Maybe he was coming here to break up with you.
You’d obviously been delusional the past few weeks. Jason was using a case as an excuse to distant himself from you. To get familiar with Artemis again.
That had to be it.
Another text.
Jason: I know you’re seeing these, love.
Screw him. Screw him and his perfect grammar. And his stupid pet names.
You picked up your phone, opening the messages. You send back a simple “Home.” Before closing your phone again, placing it on the ground.
Jason: Thank you. See you soon.
Tears burned at your eyes again, but you swallowed them back.
You pushed yourself off the floor. No point in letting him see you, huddled in a heap of despair, still in your food splattered work clothes. Making your way to your bedroom, you began to change out of your work clothes. You automatically reached for the grey t shirt hanging off the post at the end of the bed, but hesitated. You stared at it. The far too big for you, men’s t shirt that was worn around the collar and smelled so much like Jason.
Your hand hovered over it before you stepped away.
He’d probably be wanting it back after this.
You stepped towards your dresser, catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.
You hate it.
You can’t even see yourself as yourself anymore.
You stand there, picking yourself apart bit by bit. Rifling. Dissecting. Looking to find something good, something likeable, until you’ve tossed every part into the “discard” bin of your mind.
You can’t even do anything about it. All your tears are gone. You simply hang your head as you step into your sweatpants and slip on your t shirt.
You crawl onto your bed, not bothering to climb under the covers. Not bothering to shower.
The sun was still shining in, reminding you of how you were wasting such a beautiful day.
Your mind was working against you. Coming up with reasons for why Jason would be with you. Why he would have done everything that he had ever done with you if he didn’t love you.
The most prominent reason was that he was just taking pity on you. He had the time on his hands to do a favour for the lonely, ugly girl because he had broken up with his gorgeous amazonian warrior girlfriend. He couldn’t be giving out favours anymore now that he had her back.
You laid there on your side, arms hugging yourself. You realized you weren’t out of tears. They continued slip out of your eyes and pool to the pillow below you. The occasional sob leaving you when your mind concocted something else outrageous.
You don’t know how long you laid there for.
In the silence of your apartment, you could hear the lock of your front door click before the door swung open.
You tensed, arms hugging yourself as you laid on your side, back to the door.
You heard Jason slip off his boots, the steel toes he always wore clattering against the floor, signalling his arrival.
Padded footsteps followed, moving down the short hallway. Then the creak of your bedroom door behind you that had already been ajar.
Jason’s voice was soft as he called your name, “You’re not asleep, are ya?”
You simply glanced back at him over your shoulder, twisting. He took up the whole frame. He was dressed the same as earlier. Dark blue jeans, dark grey shirt with a faded brewery logo on it, and his leather jacket that he hadn’t bothered to take off at the door. His sunglasses were gone, showing off the fresh black eye that you hadn’t seen. He held a bouquet of wildflowers in one hand.
Who brings flowers to someone when they’re about to leave them?
You laid your head back down without another word.
More footsteps. The bed dipped behind you, Jason’s weight settling on the mattress, sitting in the crook where your knees bent.
A beat passed before he sighed, “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, doll?”
His hand reaches down to brush away the hair that was covering your face. The second his fingers brush over your cheek, you flinched back.
Jason draws his hand back, “Talk to me. I know how your mind gets, baby. What happened today?”
You stared straight ahead of you, towards the window Jason would often use to enter your apartment in the middle of night, the sunlight shining through. “Are you going to break up with me?”
Jason’s answer was quick. Honest. “No. Never.”
You should’ve felt more relaxed, but you didn’t. You just felt more stupid, “Did you love her?”
Jason paused, “Artemis?”
You nod.
Jason shifted on the bed, bringing more of his weight onto it before answering, “I thought I did. When I was with her. But… no.” Another pause. “You taught me what love was.”
Stupid, stupid, stupid. You knew Jason loved you.
You felt horrible. began to cry again, your voice cracking.
You just… you just needed to make sure, “Are you only with me because— because you pity me?”
“What?” Jason’s hands were suddenly on your shoulders, turning you onto your back. His fingers brushed your hair back and cupped your face. “Of course not!” You met his gaze for a moment through a haze of unshed tears. You’d never seen him more worried. More concerned. More… heartbroken at your words.
His eyes drift to the wet patches on your pillow, then back to your face. He takes in your red eyes and red nose. “Baby… have you been crying over this? Thinking I was going to leave you?”
You look away from him without answering. A silent “yes”.
Jason sighs lightly, “Because of Artemis?” His thumbs begin to stroke your cheeks, “She was just giving me some papers for a shipment. She owed me a favour from a long time ago.”
“How long were you with her?”
“Eight months,” he said, though there was a flit of a questioning tone at the end of it. He corrected himself, “Nine.”
“Why have you never talked about her?” You see him frown, his eyes shutting for a moment. You feel your face burn from embarrassment at all your questions.
Jason takes a breath, “That relationship… wasn’t a good one. It was my second real one, ever.” He shrugs, “It was built off of shared trauma, I guess. Once the Outlaws disbanded we didn’t really have much of a reason to stick around one another.” He pauses. “Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’d even consider it a real relationship. More of a fling.”
There’s a beat. You still don’t look at him.
“You know I love you,” he says. You bite deep into the inside of your cheek. “You know I love you… right?” His words sound so distraught at the idea of him making you feel unloved.
A small breath left your lungs. “I know.” Tears spill over as you talk, your arms still wrapped around yourself, hands squeezing the flesh of your biceps, “But that could’ve been an easy hand over. Five minutes.” You tried taking a deep breath, “Why… why make time to go and have coffee with your ex when you can’t even make time for me?”
Jason cursed quietly under his breath. Your face crumpled, but you tried for keep it together. “She wanted to.” Jason said. “Trust me. I didn’t. But I need that information.” He shuffled more onto the bed, hovering over you. “You have no idea how happy I was when I saw you walking past. You were like some angel coming from heaven. I’m serious.”
The moment replayed in your mind. Your bottom lip wobbled uncontrollably as you remembered his consistent frown every time he had looked at you.
“Then why—“ your voice hitched with a small sob. “You only smiled at her. You just started nitpicking me the second she left. Started when— when she was still there.”
Jason sighed again, his eyes shutting, “I know. I was acting like an asshole. I know. I’m sorry.” He leaned his face closer to yours, thumbs swipes away your tears. “I just get so worried about you sometimes.” He leaned down, pressing his forehead to yours.
You sniffle again, “I’m sorry.”
“No,” Jason mumbled against your forehead before leaning back. “I’m sorry, baby. I was already ticked off that I was wasting time with her.”
You squirmed lightly, still hugging yourself, “I’m still sorry. I know you love me. I do trust you. I just—“
Jason shook his head, “No. Don’t be sorry. I shouldn’t have had coffee with her. I should’ve been picking you up from work.” He moved his hands to gentle grasp onto your hands, “Come on. Sit up for me, yeah?”
You followed his instructions, sitting up, crossing your legs in front of you. Jason grabbed a tissue from your bedside table, handing it to you to blow your nose. You felt like asking whether the case he was working was real or not. You decided against it, realizing his black eye should be proof enough.
Jason brushed your hair back as you blew your nose, clearing your face. “Why did you think I’m with you because I pity you, love?”
You look away, shameful, “Because… because you’re the first guy to ever ask me out.” You shrug lightly, “And… and no one else was wanting to. And I just…” You sniffle again. Jason takes your old tissue and hands you a new one, his other hand on your knee, his thumb stroking the side of it gently. “I saw how pretty she is and—”
“Not as pretty as you,” he gave you a soft smile, lifting your chin up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cut you off.”
You gave no reaction.
Jason paused, “…do you not think you’re pretty?”
You try and turn your face away again, shrugging, “I’m just so far out of your league. She’s not.”
“Damn right you’re out of my league,” Jason laughed softly, grasping onto your shoulders as they fell in defeat.
Finally. You thought. He realizes. This is it. This is—
He took one hand and tilted your chin until you were looking at him again. “Love, you’re leagues above me. You hear me? I’m serious. I’m so lucky to have someone as sweet and caring as you.”
You begin to shake your head. Jason firmly yet painlessly pinches your chin between his thumb and forefinger, stopping you. He begins to nod your head. Up and down. Forcing you to agree with him.
He presses his thumb into your bottom lip. He pulls it down and back up over and over again, mimicking speech as if you were some puppet. He pitched up his voice and octave, “Yes, Jason! I’m the most gorgeous girl you’ve ever seen!”
You can’t help it. A smile tugs at your lips. You pull his hand away and hold it with both of your own as you place a kiss to it.
Jason grins, tilting his face down to yours, “There she is. There’s my girl.”
You shake your head at him, “I’m sorry for thinking you were going to leave me for her…”
Jason smiles softly, “No more apologies. I know how your mind is.” He tilts his chin up and pressed another kiss to your forehead. “Evil mind.” He mutters against it, making you giggle.
You hum lightly, leaning into his touch. “What happened to your eye?”
Jason scoffed lightly, “Some thug last night. My helmet was already broken. He got a good right hook in.”
You smile up at him. You sit up straighter, pressing a feather light kiss to the edge of the bruising.
Jason hums in satisfaction, “Thank you, baby.” He smiles again, looking back at you. “What do you want to do now? You’ve got me until nine.”
You perks up, “Nine? But it's already four! Don't you have to read those papers? Don’t you have to—“
Jason smiled and shook his head, cutting you off, "Already did. I just have to intercept that shipment tonight and then you'll have me all day tomorrow, too. I’ve got nothing else but time to spend with my girl.”
Your smile grows a little wider, "Really?"
Jason nods, "I promise."
You play with his fingers as you think it over. Rubbing a thumb over his knuckles, picking up each digit and curling them and straightening them again, "Can we go for a ride?"
Jason grins, "Course, love. Where's your helmet?"
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AHHH!! Hope you guys enjoyed!!!!
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meowpupp · 1 year ago
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chubby!puppygirl x owner!price
Price is getting older, retired from the SAS now. his work never allowed him to settle down meaning no wife, no girlfriend, not even a casual hookup. so after hours of stroking his cock to puppygirl porn, he decides he should get one for himself. maybe make some home videos.
he browses local shelters. most the pup hybrids are the same. all thin and muscular. their bodies profiled by sharp angles and sharper teeth. then he sees you.
your picture is sweet. a sweet smile, floppy ears, sharp eyes. your tail is blur, clearly wagging it at the time they took your picture. he clicks on your profile, he has to know more.
‘one of our newer rescues! she’s a sweet girl, but too smart for her own good! this pup would best be suited to a household that can give her lots of attention and training to avoid misbehaviour. ’
a smile quirks at his lips. perfect. pretty, smart, and a little needy.
you’ve got a soft body- rolls and curves that he desperately wants to grope. he can imagine it now, you’d be sat pretty in his lap cockwarming him. he’d stretch your tight cunt, grope and squeeze at your tits, slap your clit when you squirm.
within a week, he’s adopted you.
the first few weeks fly by. a month in and you’re fully settled. price treats you well, extremely well. praises almost everything you do, constantly pets and kisses you, feeds you the highest quality food. devours your cunt every night.
he’s made you drunk on him. every morning you wake up nuzzled in his arms. within ten minutes he’s shoved his fingers into your soft cunt, rutting his hips into your ass. prices voice low and growl as he praises you; “fuck, pup. so fuckin wet for me. my good girl. cmon, cum for me, show me how needy you are.”
afterwards, he feeds you. makes you whatever you like. once youre full and happy, tail wagging back and forth, he shoves you under the table. sits you on your knees between his legs. price tangles a hand in your hair, eases himself into your throat. your ‘morning treat.’
breakfast is followed by a walk. he is ex-military, old habits die hard. by the time you get back, you’re sweaty, body worn out and tired. ready for a shower.
this is prices favourite time of day. he takes you into the shower, gently washes your body. soaps you up in sweet smelling bubbles, washes you down with warm water.
the whole time, he’s squeezing your soft body. knows exactly where to grope you to make you squeak.
the part he loves the most though? when he spreads your chubby thighs, changes the shower setting, and sprays water directly on your clit. he bites and sucks the fat of your tits, grumbles against the soft skin.
“cmon pup, gotta make sure you’re clean. be a good girl, spread your legs f’me… atta girl”
every moment of your day, you’re lavished with attention and praise. so when you act up, break the rules, disrespect him? his punishments hit hard.
he gets up before you do, already gone on his morning run. he makes you food, but leaves it on the bench. he doesn’t so much as look at you for the first half of the day, let alone speak a word.
it’s only when you’re crying at his feet, grinding your wet aching cunt against his boot that he bothers to look at you.
with a hand in your hair, he tilts your head. the sight of tears running down your chubby cheeks making him rock fucking hard.
he uses the other hand to squish your cheeks together, eyes stern and cold, voice flat as he speaks. “What did you do wrong?”
he doesn’t let go, making you talk through a forced pout. he waits until you’re begging and sobbing, eyes needy and desperate before he gives in.
price pulls you up over his knee, big hands a little too rough with you. he pushes your panties down, exposing your cunt. lets out a groan as he slowly toys with your soft clit. you’re fucking dripping.
“Mhm, i know puppy. you’re sorry. didn’t mean to make me mad, huh?” he smirks as you nod. he’s practically drooling at how your thighs surround his hand, the fat burying it.
he waits till you're relaxed before he pulls his hand back, delivering a stinging spank. he keeps his other on your neck, forcing you still.
Price continues to spank you, making you count each one. grinding his tent against your tummy as he turns your ass red, only getting harder as your tears wet his jeans.
he makes you count in intervals of ten. spanks you red and raw, then after 10, strokes your pretty pussy. he gets you nice and relaxed, acts as if it’s over, then repeats.
he only stops once you’re shaking and sobbing, his jeans completely soaked with slick and tears.
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dandylovesturtles · 7 months ago
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alright, here it is: part 3 of the still untitled Room Fic! and boy is it long... this might be as long as parts 1 and 2 put together.
Content warnings for this part: vomit, serious discussion of food issues, internalized ableism, everyone being a little bit dumb
I am not a doctor and my meal plan for Leo is extremely lightly researched (mainly because it's hard to find information that would be helpful in Leo's situation but that isn't highly technical). in the end I went with what I like from a narrative standpoint. if someone starves as long as Leo did please get them to an actual doctor lol.
also I got tired and didn't proofread the last few sections.
just a warning that I'm going on vacation next week and will be out of the country for awhile so don't expect any more for this for quite some time. in the meantime, hope you enjoy this!
and if you're confused, start here!
-----
Leo wakes up.
The room is moving. His head is cradled in someone's lap. There's a furry hand stroking his arm, and a voice hums the notes of a lullaby he hasn't heard since he was a child.
-----
Leo wakes up.
He's lying somewhere soft and blessedly warm. There's a weight across his chest. Someone is chattering in his ear, happy and upbeat, saying something to him about Jupiter Jim on the desert planet Delta-5.
-----
Leo wakes up.
He's still somewhere soft but now it's too hot. He whines and pushes at the things on his chest. Near his ear someone tuts, and then a hand lands on his, giving it a squeeze.
"Nardo, you need to warm up. Don't-"
-----
Leo wakes up, and his eyes open.
"Leo?" comes Raph's voice. Leo blinks to clear his vision, then lets his eyes trail up, to find his big brother bending over him. "You awake for real this time?"
He isn't sure. Raph being here sure feels like a dream.
He lowers his eyes and looks around. He's not home. He doesn't recognize this place at all, actually. But the walls are beige (still unstimulating, but at least not white), the furniture is dark brown, the bed (not a cot) has a blue bedspread, the empty takeout containers on the table have a splash of red. It's not home, but it's not the room, either.
If he were going to dream, surely he'd just picture himself back home.
He blinks back up at Raph, and smiles.
"Wide awake," he says, echoing Raph from before.
Raph bursts into tears, immediately leaning down and wrapping Leo up in one of his signature hugs. For the first time in so many days (longer, longer, Leo can't remember the last time he got a Raph hug like this), Leo feels completely secure, fully enveloped in love and affection, held safe by his big brother where no one can hurt him.
The difference between this moment and the last week and a half is so stark it leaves Leo feeling dizzy. Like he hadn't even realized how scared and lonely and helpless he truly felt until all that pain was taken away. He's safe now. He's okay now. Raph is hugging him.
Leo hates crying in front of people, but even he can't be stoic for this.
"Oh Leo," says Raph softly once he realizes. "It's okay. We got'cha."
Leo sniffs, burying his face in Raph's plastron. He wishes he could hug back, but his limbs feel so heavy, like Donnie swapped them out for metal versions when he wasn't looking. So he can't hug back, but he leans in close and hopes that's enough.
They get about a minute to hug before Mikey is worming his way in between them, wriggling to push his arms past Raph's and around Leo for himself. "No fair, you got to hold him earlier!" Mikey declares, his voice thick with tears.
"You got to hug him earlier," Raph argues.
"He was asleep, it doesn't count!" Mikey hits back, and Leo laughs and shifts so Mikey can better get in the middle. Raph sighs exaggeratedly, but he gives Leo a pat and leans back to let Mikey in.
Mikey hugs even tighter than Raph, nuzzling in against Leo's shoulder. "I missed you," he says, then gives a choked sob he tries to bury.
"Missed you too," Leo promises, craning his neck so he can land a big smooch on Mikey's head. That replaces the sobs with relieved giggles that leave Leo feeling so much lighter.
After another minute, Mikey moves back and looks over at Donnie, who's been standing at the side of the bed wringing his hands. "Your turn, Donald."
Donnie makes a grumpy noise at having been perceived, but when Leo gets a look at his face he sees Donnie has tears shimmering in his eyes, too. They break free once Donnie's arms are around him, trickling onto the skin of Leo's shoulder.
"Crying over me, Don-ton?" he teases, even as his own voice is thick with emotion.
"Shut up, Nardo," Donnie snaps back, but his voice cracks at the end and he holds on even tighter.
"Alright, my turn," says April once Donnie starts to loosen his grip, and Donnie obligingly crawls off the bed, swiping at his eyes. Like he's looking for something to busy himself with, he starts throwing away the takeout containers on the table. They must be empty.
Leo tears his eyes away just as April swoops in to wrap him up in his fourth hug of the hour, giving him a kiss on his forehead as she does. "Hey, Leo. How're you feelin'?"
"Happy to see you," he says again, and she squeezes him tighter. "Kinda hot."
"That's the hypothermia talking," says Donnie. April shushes him.
"Hypothermia?" Leo asks. April pulls back so she can see his face.
"It wasn't that bad," she says quickly. "You'd started brumating, we think... Tromping around in the snow didn't help, though."
"Not to mention you used up the last of your energy portaling us out of there," Mikey chimes in. "It was really cool though!"
Leo laughs. "Thanks, little brother." Even with the containers thrown away, the smell of the takeout is thick in the room. Leo guesses they had Japanese. It can't have been that long ago. "Where are we?"
"Motel room about two hours down the road." April slides to sit next to him, keeping one arm wrapped around his shoulders. Her body heat is warm in a more pleasant way than the blankets, and he leans into it. "We wanted to go further, but we needed to get you warmed up."
"A motel...? Huh." Leo looks around again. This is his first time being in a hotel that isn't owned by Big Mama. He wonders how far it is from the Japanese place. Just, like, average delivery time. "What happened? It's... kind of a blur for me." He laughs.
They launch into the story without any more prompting. It all sounds like what Leo expected. Raph led the team. Donnie did science stuff. Mikey razzed his tazz. April used her investigative skills.
They tracked him all the way down to Colorado (that explains the snow) and broke him out. They floored it away from the EPF, got far enough they felt safe, then booked into a motel under April's name. That's where they've been since. Splinter and Draxum are out now, patrolling to make sure they weren't followed or discovered.
It's quite the story. And Leo knows he should be paying more attention than he is.
It's just, the takeout boxes. The smell coming from them is so strong, or maybe Leo is just abnormally sensitive to it. He thinks someone had steak, and someone else had fish. The fried rice had egg in it. His mouth is watering so badly he has to swallow every few seconds.
"Leo?" calls Mikey, and Leo startles, ripping his eyes from the trash can to look at Mikey's face. He's gripping the bedspread so hard his knuckles are cramping. He realizes this is not the first time Mikey said his name. Great, now they know he wasn't paying attention.
"Ah, sorry," he says quickly. "I didn't mean to zone out." He flashes them all the biggest smile he can, so they don't worry. "I was just, uh..."
He trails off, not sure of a way to say that he was completely distracted by the smell of their already eaten Japanese food without making it awkward.
"Sorry, Leo, we know you're tired," says Raph, reaching over and rubbing his head. "You can go back to sleep. We're not leaving for awhile."
Go back to sleep? Leo doubts he can, what with the hunger an empty yawning hole inside him. It had been muted while the cold and the exhaustion took over, but now that he's warmer and more rested his body is very painfully reminding him he still has another problem.
He's trying to come up with a casual way to approach the subject when his stomach does it for him, gurgling and growling loud enough that everyone hears it. Leo is very glad his blushes don't show up as easily as humans' do.
"Uh... heh heh." He scratches at his own cheek, then stops when he feels how disturbingly hollowed out it is. "Before that... are there any leftovers?"
Everyone's staring at him. Leo's too tired to puzzle out why they're all staring at him. Maybe there really aren't any leftovers? He did just watch Donnie throw everything away. Maybe there were some, but now they'd have to fish it out of the trash. Leo wants to say he'd happily eat it out of the trash, but that would be really weird and they'd stare at him even more.
(But he would eat it out of the trash. He may be too proud to say it out loud, but he can admit it to himself.)
"O-or," he says quickly, to fill the silence after his last question, "if... if it's not too much trouble, can you ask Dad and Barry to bring something with them when they come back? Even if it's just something from a gas station, or..." They're still staring, and Leo feels himself starting to ramble desperately, "Or if it's too late, I can just... I can just go back to sleep, hah, but... but can someone at least wake me up so I don't miss breakfast?"
His family stutters back to life at that. Raph gives a furious shake of his head and says, "Forget breakfast," which makes Leo's heart and stomach lurch painfully. Waiting until lunch? That feels like forever away.
But then Raph continues with, "Leo, why didn't you tell us you're hungry right now?"
Leo falters. "Uh... just... didn't want to interrupt the flow of the conversation," he says, which is true, but the way everyone is looking at him now, he's pretty sure it's the wrong answer.
"Please," says April, tone very close to exasperated, "interrupt the conversation."
"Will do," says Leo. But he's still not sure what to do, because no one has told him when food is coming.
(You want this? You beg for it.)
Before he can spin out on that thought, Mikey jumps off the bed and heads for the mini-fridge that Leo hadn't noticed until now. He yanks open the door and pulls out two takeout containers, a box and a cylindrical container.
"We weren't sure what you felt up to, so we got you steak hibachi and miso soup," Mikey says, waving each container in turn.
The thought of having to actually chew and swallow sounds exhausting, so Leo says, "Soup's fine." And then, just in case, he adds hastily, "Please."
"Okay," says Mikey, and even though he's clearly trying to sound upbeat, Leo can hear the strain in his voice. "Just give me a minute to heat it up for you!"
Leo would eat it cold. Leo would eat it frozen. But he bites that back and waits.
Mikey puts it in the microwave on top of the fridge. Every little tick down on the timer feels like it takes three eternities. The rest of his family seems to feel the tension as much as he does.
"April!" says Donnie abruptly, too loud to be natural. "You wanted to see what's on the sci-fi channel!"
"Thaaat's right!" she says, also a little too loudly. "I did. Hand me the remote."
Donnie gives her the remote. She turns on the TV just as the microwave dings.
Mikey yanks the door open as soon as it does, pulling the bowl out with no regard for how hot it is. He gives it a perfunctory blow to cool it down, then hurries over to the bed, pausing only to grab a plastic spoon off a little pile of utensils on the table.
He hands both the bowl and spoon to Leo, but Leo already knows his arms won't be able to maneuver the spoon, so he lets it fall into his lap, in favor of lifting the entire container to his lips. He hopes he doesn't look too pathetically eager as he tilts it back and takes his first sip.
It's good.
It's so good he starts crying.
It's not even the best miso soup he's ever had. In fact, it's a little too oily and nowhere near as good as the kind his dad makes, or what Mikey is capable of. But it doesn't matter. It wouldn't matter if this was the worst soup in the world, because right now it's the best thing Leo has ever tasted.
He may be crying more over this than he did over hugs from his family. Maybe he'll have it in him to feel bad for that later.
The TV is showing some old monster movie. His siblings pretend they're watching that and not watching him. He appreciates that, because it makes him feel less self-conscious as he desperately slurps down the soup, practically guzzling it, only pausing when he has to chew the greens here and there.
He eats until his stomach is full and warm. And then he keeps going. There's still soup left, and stopping feels impossible.
(Besides, no one actually promised him breakfast.)
"Hey, maybe you should slow down," says Donnie. Leo pauses, looking up at him, licking the remains of soup off his lips. The container is still about a third full.
Maybe Donnie is right. His stomach is actually starting to cramp. But... but...
He doesn't know what his face looks like right now. But something about it makes Donnie look sad.
He turns away, rubbing right between his fake eyebrows. "Okay, okay. Just... don't overdo it."
Leo sighs, grateful the soup isn't being taken away. He goes back to drinking it, feeling like the chasm inside him is finally beginning to fill.
-----
The next time Leo wakes up, it's because he has to puke. Unfortunately, he doesn't have time to communicate that before it's all over himself and the bedsheets.
"Whoa, Leo-" someone says, and then there's a flurry of activity around him. He can't keep up with who goes where and who says what. It's a lot to keep track of when he just woke up and is spewing half-digested miso soup and stomach bile.
"There we go... You're alright, Blue, you're alright," he hears once he comes back to his senses, and he blinks and looks over. His dad is standing on the bed next to him, and he leans in with a damp washcloth and wipes at Leo's face and mouth.
"Perhaps the soup was too much for your stomach," Splinter says as he finishes, tossing the washcloth into the floor. "How do you feel?"
"Mm... weird," Leo admits, leaning sleepily into his dad's shoulder. He shouldn't because he's gross, but Splinter lets him do it, stroking his cheek. "My stomach hurts..."
The loss of the food hurts; without anything in his stomach, he'll feel hungry again soon. Leo is terrified of that, of the deep empty chasm of his hunger returning, sucking him down into its depths. At the same time, the idea of eating makes him feel queasy.
He feels weird, and miserable, and scared, and he doesn't know when his dad came back, but he's so glad he's here.
"How much did you let him eat?" he hears Draxum ask. Leo finds the energy to feel offended that he's being talked about like he isn't in the room, but not enough energy to actually say anything about it.
"As much as he wanted," Mikey answers. Which, as Leo recalls, was almost all of the soup.
"And how much was that?"
"Here, look."
There's the sound of the mini-fridge being opened again. The pop of the takeout lid. Draxum hums in a way that does not sound pleased.
"Leonardo," he says, coming to stand by the bed now. "I have a very important question and I need you to answer: when was the last time you ate?"
Leo stares at him blearily. Then he raises a tired hand and indicates the mess all down his front.
"Don't get cute," says Draxum, ignoring the following grunt of warning Splinter directs his way. "You know what I'm asking you."
Of course Leo knows. But he doesn't want to answer. Not while his dad is holding him, and all his siblings are watching him expectantly. They aren't going to like what he has to tell them. He doesn't want to upset them.
But Draxum is unmoved and steely eyed. There's no way Leo is getting out of this without answering.
He sighs, shutting his eyes and leaning into Splinter so he doesn't have to be looking at the rest of them when he says it.
"Last time I ate was at Run of the Mill."
He hears a gasp, hears Mikey yell, "What!?" Feels Splinter's sharp intake of breath under his cheek, and then his dad shifts so he can hold him even closer.
"They... they didn't feed you in there at all?" asks April, like she doesn't quite believe it.
Leo nods.
"I should have leveled the whole building!" Donnie snaps, and Leo hears something get knocked to the ground.
Mikey comes closer, and puts a hand on his shoulder, drawing Leo's gaze back his way. He looks so upset, and Leo regrets looking. "Leo, why didn't you tell us? You didn't even say you were hungry!"
"Felt weird to bring it up in the middle of the happy reunion," he says. It's a weak justification, he knows. The look on Mikey's face just gets more miserable.
"Wait," Raph cuts in. "Wait, so... when Bishop said he gave you chances to cooperate for better living conditions, he meant..."
Leo swallows hard, not wanting to look at the distress on Raph's face. "Feeding me, yeah."
"What did he want out of you? What was he making you do?"
This part, at least, Leo can answer easily. "He wanted information. About the yokai and the Hidden City."
Raph sounds surprised. "He just... wanted you to answer questions?"
"Yeah." Leo nods again. "Like, how to get in, how many portals there are, what kind of defense capabilities there are, stuff about Draxum... That's what I remember."
"Why didn't you just tell them?"
Now Leo does look at Raph's face. He's staring at Leo with open horror and distress. But Leo doesn't understand the question, or the look. He did what he was supposed to, didn't he? He held out and didn't give Bishop any information. He did the right thing. So Raph has no reason to look so upset.
He smiles in a way he hopes is reassuring. "Hey, that's not what a hero would do, right?"
It's apparently not reassuring. If anything, Raph only looks more horrified.
He turns away from Leo abruptly and marches straight out of the room, slamming the door on the way out.
Leo doesn't understand that reaction. He did what he was supposed to, but Raph is mad at him, anyway. The rest of his family seems shocked, too, so at least Leo isn't alone.
"I'll talk to him," says April, the first to move. She leaves with much less noise, disappearing into the dark parking lot beyond the door.
Awkward silence envelops the room after that. Leo doesn't know what to do or say to break it. He made Raph mad, because he never does anything right, according to Raph. It's the same as always, but for some reason Leo feels even worse this time.
"...Well," says Draxum, cutting through the awkwardness when it becomes clear no one else wants to, "knowing this, we will have to be much more careful about what and how much you eat. I'll make a meal plan."
"Why you?" Leo grouses. "Let Donnie do it."
Donnie opens his mouth like he wants to agree, but Draxum cuts him off before he can.
"Me, because I have actual experience designing nutritious meal plans for children." Leo thinks of what he's heard about Draxum's lunchroom and makes a face, which Draxum ignores. "Besides, I can't trust any of the rest of you to actually tell Leo he can't have more to eat."
"I can handle myself," Leo argues.
"Clearly," says Draxum icily, indicating the mess still in Leo's lap, "you cannot."
Leo doesn't have a good response for that, and no one steps up to his defense. Back not even twenty four hours, and he already has multiple people mad at him. That has to be a new record.
"...Whatever," he says, because he doesn't know what else to say. Draxum nods like he actually gave approval.
There's another round of awkward silence. Splinter breaks it this time.
"Why doesn't someone call housekeeping to ask for some fresh sheets," he says, "while I help Blue take a bath."
"Ugh, yes, I'm calling them now," says Donnie. Leo notes for the first time that his most persnickety brother is as far from his bed as possible, having put the second bed and the table between them. "The whole room is starting to smell."
Leo cringes. "Sorry..."
"There is nothing for you to apologize for," his dad reassures him, patting his head. Leo isn't sure he'd say that, but he doesn't waste breath arguing. "Now, come with me."
It takes some maneuvering, but they get him out of bed without making a bigger mess. Mikey starts stripping the sheets, and he can hear Donnie on the phone with the staff across the room.
Leo's still not wearing any of his gear. It shouldn't matter because he's just in a room with his family, but he still walks to the bathroom as quickly as he can.
Splinter shuts the door once they're inside, then fills a little plastic cup with water. This he hands off to Leo, saying, "Drink this, and I will run you a nice warm bath."
Leo does as he says, and tries not to think too much about how Raph is mad at him.
-----
There's an old concrete barrier that stands between the motel parking lot and an open field. Raph hefts a piece of the crumbling concrete and chucks it as hard as he can, watching as it disappears into the tall grass beyond.
They starved him. They starved his little brother for over a week, because he wouldn't answer some questions. And he wouldn't answer those questions because...
That's not what a hero would do.
Raph's ninpo flares to life. Punching out another piece of the barrier is easy; he lifts the broken pieces and throws them after the first, watching them sail through the air.
"You better hope there aren't any security cameras out here," says a voice behind him, and he looks over his shoulder.
April is there, standing a few feet back, hands tucked in the pockets of her jacket. Raph's ninpo stutters out at the sight of her; he wonders if he looked scary.
"...What are they gonna do even if there are?" he asks. But he does stop his wanton destruction.
"I don't know, but just remember it's my credit card on file for damages." Her voice is teasing, though, and he knows she isn't actually mad. She comes over, turning so she can lean against part of the barrier that's still intact. "Come on, Big Red. Talk to me."
Raph doesn't turn around. He can't stand to look back at the motel, at the room where his brother is, tiny and weak and with a stomach that's been empty for days on end. He can't handle it right now. So he keeps his eyes on the field.
"Leo let those guys hurt him," he says.
"No he didn't," says April. "He can't help what they did to him."
"If he'd just answered their questions, they would have fed him."
"We can't know that." April shakes her head. "You heard what Draxum said about those guys. You saw what they were like. Maybe if Leo had answered their questions, they would have just killed him. Leo was probably thinking that, too."
"But that's not what he said," Raph points out.
"...Look." April takes a deep breath. "Leo... just went through a lot. We don't know what he was thinking while he was in there, or what he's thinking now. And you know that boy likes to say flashy things. Don't take anything he says right now too seriously."
"But what if this is the most truthful he's gonna be? What if he just hasn't thought of a good lie yet?"
"Raph-"
"No, you don't get it, April." Raph holds his head in his hands, like he can physically hold the dark thoughts at bay, but he can't, and they keep coming: horrific images of what could have happened, if they'd been too late, if the EPF had been less patient. "I told him to stop thinking of himself! Right before he disappeared, I told him he needed to be a hero! But Raph didn't mean like this!"
"Hey now, you don't know-" April tries, but Raph cuts her off.
"I just wanted him to stop doing everything himself! All the showboating, all the running in without talkin' to us... Raph just wanted him to remember that we're a team!" He lets go of his head and grips the concrete instead, so hard it cracks and crumbles under his fingers. "What if he took that to mean he should risk his life for everyone else? That he had to sacrifice himself?"
"Oookay, slow down there, big guy," says April, turning around and putting a hand on his arm. "You're taking one thing he said and blowing it way out of proportion."
"But what if I'm right?" Raph shakes his head. "How do I live with that, if I am? Knowing I almost killed him?"
"Okay, you look at me right now," she demands, in a way Raph can't refuse. He turns, and she reaches up and grabs his face by the cheeks, yanking him down until he bends to her eye level.
"You did not almost kill him. That was those EPF guys." Her voice is stern, and her grip on his face prevents him from objecting. "And even if you are right, and it's what you said to Leo that kept him from answering... well, then that's something the two of you will have to work out together."
She lets him go, putting her hands on her hips. "But what's done is done. Right now, Leo is exhausted and starved, and he's not really in a state for big emotional talks. So let's just get some space and get your head on straight. Once we get him home and everything's calmed down, the two of you can hash this out."
Raph lets out a strangled laugh, slumping down against the crumbling barrier. "Yeah, because that's so easy."
"I'm not saying it's easy." She sits down next to him, putting her hand on his arm. "But you guys love each other, so you'll do the hard things you have to do. I know you got this." She gives him a wink. "You're Raph."
Raph isn't sure he has that much faith in himself. But April isn't wrong very often, so he thinks he should probably listen to her.
-----
The water feels nice on Leo's skin, pleasantly warm and soothing. He sinks down until all but his eyes are in the water, letting it swirl around him.
He still feels a little exposed, but it's only Splinter in here, and that helps. It's like he's a little kid again, getting a bath from his dad, but he has to scrunch to cram his legs in the tub and that ruins the illusion.
"My Baby Blue always did enjoy a nice bath," says Splinter fondly, rustling up hotel soap for them to use.
He wets a washcloth and lathers it up, then cleans off the top of Leo's head and back of his neck, then down to his shoulders and the ridge of his shell. Leo would normally protest this kind of treatment, but right now he's not sure he can lift his arms above his head, so he doesn't.
Besides, it feels nice.
"Float on your front," Splinter says, adding, "Deep breath." It's what he always said when they were kids and he wanted to wash their shells. Everyone but Mikey can hold their breath for a long time, but he always says it anyway.
Leo takes a deep breath and flips onto his front, closing his eyes as his dad washes the back of his shell. It's so soothing he could almost take a nap here. The world is nicely muted under the water.
Splinter gives his shell three pats with his hand, the signal to sit back up. Leo does, rolling onto his back to rinse off. Splinter hands him the washcloth and soap, and he cleans his lower half, taking care around the bottom ridges of his shell.
"Thanks for the bath, Daddio," he says as he finishes. "I know I was starting to get pretty ripe." He pulls up the drain plug with a pop, watching the dirty water spin away.
He tries to imagine he's watching the last of that place drain away with it.
Splinter retrieves a fluffy white towel, drying off the top of Leo's head before handing it off. "I wasn't thinking of that," he says. "But I know a good bath always made you feel better when you were sick."
It was never really about the bath, but the undivided dad attention. How Splinter would wash his shell and pat his head and dry him off, just like he's doing now.
It occurs to Leo that he almost lost this forever, and its like his breath is taken away. He buries his face in the towel and tries to ride through it - he doesn't want to cry again.
Splinter must pick up on it, because suddenly he's sitting on the side of the tub, rubbing the top of Leo's shell. "It's okay, Blue. You're safe."
He's safe.
He really is safe, isn't he?
He lowers the towel and turns into his dad instead, wriggling his head into his lap. Splinter welcomes him, patting his head with one hand and the top of his shell with another. Leo's breath hitches and the tears break free.
"I know," says Splinter, and his voice is thick with emotion. Leo knows he can't look or he'll start sobbing. "I... was very scared for you, my son. I am so glad you're here, Leonardo. I love you very much."
"L-love you too," he warbles. His tears are falling fast, now, and Splinter takes the towel and dries them away every now and then.
By the time Leo sits up and rubs at his eyes, the towel is totally soaked through from being in the tub. Splinter moves away to grab him a fresh one, which Leo wraps himself up in.
"Leonardo," says Splinter hesitantly once he is out of the tub, "I know you may not want to talk about it right now. But I need to ask you this."
Leo wonders where this is going. He sits down on the toilet lid, looking at his dad. "Uh, okay."
Splinter looks him up and down before asking, "Did those men... hit you? Or touch you in any way?"
Oh. Leo shakes his head. "No. They didn't... I mean, they just put me in that room. They weren't, like... torturing me or anything."
He thought that would reassure his dad, but if anything Splinter only looks more sad.
"Not feeding you is torturing you," he says.
"Oh, well, yeah, I guess." Leo rubs the back of his head. "But I mean, they weren't... you know. Shocking me or whipping me or... putting me in that medieval stretchy thing from the movies."
"I see." His dad sighs, but nods. "Very well. I'm glad, at least, that you do not have any injuries."
Leo nods back. "Yeah, no, I'm all good." He tries to smile, but his smiles aren't really having the effect they usually do.
"Are you ready to go back?" asks Splinter, moving to the door. Leo nods again, standing up. "Are you still cold?"
Leo blinks in surprise, then realizes Splinter is referring to the towel he still has wrapped around himself. He's not really that cold anymore, but he grabs onto the convenient excuse, anyway.
"Uh, yeah." He grins sheepishly. "Actually, did you guys bring any of my clothes? I'm a little worried about the ride home."
"Ah." Splinter taps his chin. "I don't think we brought any of your things. Your brothers brought their hoodies, I believe, in case they needed to go in a store..." He reaches up and pats Leo's hand. "There is a gift shop in the motel lobby. I will send Purple and Orange in the morning - I'm sure they'd enjoy doing some shopping!"
"Thanks. I just need a sweatshirt or something. Maybe some pajama pants." He shrugs. "Gotta stay toasty, right?"
"That's right. No more turtle-cicles." Splinter reaches up and turns the doorknob, gesturing for Leo to lead the way.
Leo shuffles for the bed, keeping the towel tight around himself as he goes. He doesn't drop it until he's under the sheets again, safely tucked away.
Raph isn't back yet. The realization turns Leo's stomach. But Mikey barrels into bed next to him, cuddling up against one side, while Donnie scoots in on the other, tapping away at his phone, and Leo tries to forget about it.
He's sure that, as soon as he's better, Raph will be back to yell at him.
-----
Leo doesn't realize Draxum left until he comes back. He did doze off for a bit there, though, so it's not surprising.
Mikey was snoozing against Leo's arm, too, but when the door clicks shut he raises his head, blinking sleep out of his eyes. Donnie looks up from his phone. Splinter's asleep in the other bed, only grumbling incoherently at the noise before rolling over.
(Raph and April still haven't come back. It makes Leo's heart thud a little harder.)
"Hey Barry," says Mikey, voice still a little sleepy. He pushes himself up to sit against the pillows. "Find what you were looking for?"
"Yes." Draxum walks over to the bed, pulling a bottle out of a pharmacy bag. He twists the cap loose, then holds it out and says, "Leonardo, drink this."
Leo can't help the way his face screws up as he takes it, eyeing the label on the bottle. "Eugh. What is this?"
"Vegetable juice," Draxum informs him dryly.
"Gross." Leo does not bring the bottle any closer to his lips. "Can I have soda instead?"
"Absolutely not." Draxum's voice is stern. "No sugar or caffeine until I say otherwise."
The next several days are looking worse and worse. Leo grimaces. "Can I just drink water, then?"
"You can and should drink water. But you also need to steadily reintroduce your body to nutrients. The vegetable juice will help, until your stomach can handle more solid food at a time."
Leo groans, eyeing the bottle warily. Anything labeled "juice" should not be this color of red-orange.
"Draxum's just trying to help, Leo!" Mikey chimes in. "Besides, vegetable juice isn't that bad."
It's not the most reassuring endorsement, given that Mikey loves vegetables in a way Leo has never understood. But with his little brother cheering him on, he can't back down.
"Fine. Down the hatch," he mutters, then takes a swig. It tastes just as off-putting as he was imagining, and he shudders and smacks his lips. "Yuck."
"Sorry, Leo." Mikey pats his arm comfortingly. "As soon as Barry says it's okay, we'll get pizza!"
"Please don't remind me of pizza right now..."
"Here." Leo looks up to find Draxum is holding out a handful of crackers. "Eat these, too. Be sure you chew them thoroughly before you swallow. And keep drinking the juice."
Leo takes the crackers in his free hand, putting them in his lap on top of the sheets. There's only six, and they look boring even for crackers. but his stomach perks up with interest, reminding Leo that everything he put in it before got thrown up.
Leo thought he was going to be waiting until breakfast to eat again. The crackers ease that tension, relief he hadn't consciously realized he needed.
Still, can't let Draxum think Leo actually appreciates all his bullying, so Leo still makes a face as he holds up one of the crackers and examines it.
"And these are...?"
"Are you going to react like this to everything?" asks Draxum with a scoff. "They're whole wheat crackers. They'll settle your stomach, and you need food in you so can take these vitamins."
He pulls a bottle out of his bag and shakes it, filling the room with the sound of pills rattling around. Leo scrunches up his snout.
"You didn't get me the chewable kind? Or those fruit gummy ones?"
"Are you such a child you need your medicine in the form of candy?" Draxum rolls his eyes. "You will be just fine with the pills."
"Okay, okay!" Leo groans theatrically, leaning his head back. "I can't believe you guys are letting him take care of him. He'll be feeding me bugs and leaves next."
"Stop whining. No one wants to hear it this late."
"I actually like these crackers," says Donnie. "They're delightfully bland."
This statement is followed by a crunch.
The sound sends a shiver up Leo's shell, and he turns his head in time to see Donnie, one of Leo's crackers in his hand, a big bite taken out of it. He chews and swallows with a slight smile on his face, clearly unconcerned that he just took one of Leo's crackers.
Leo only had six crackers to start. Now there's five. He doesn't know when he gets any more. No one promised him breakfast. And now he only has five crackers, and not six. And he can feel the hunger coming back.
Donnie turns his head and they lock eyes. Leo has no idea what his own expression looks like, but Donnie's turns startled and then almost frightened. He's so shocked he drops the rest of the cracker into his own lap.
Leo just barely stops himself from snatching it back.
Because that would be weird. What he's doing right now is weird. Everyone is staring at him, the room has gone silent, he's acting like Donnie just committed an unforgivable sin when all he did was take a cracker, like the two of them haven't been casually taking each other's food their entire lives.
He's being weird. He needs to stop. He needs to go back to normal right now.
Five crackers can be enough. It's enough it's enough it's-
Leo forces his brain to restart, his face and posture to relax, his fingers to unclench. He schools his mouth into an unserious grin, glancing back at Draxum. "H-hey, so... how many crackers do I need to eat? Since Thief-atello just stole one."
"I'm sorry," Donnie blurts out, an extremely rare apology. "I wasn't thinking."
Leo waves a hand. "It's cool, man," he says.
"No," Donnie insists. "I shouldn't have done that, I don't know why I did that-"
Great, first he pisses off Raph and now Donnie's freaked out. Leo's family came all the way to Colorado to save him and all he's done since then is upset them.
"Dee," says Leo, and he knocks one shoulder against Donnie's. "Seriously. It's fine."
Because it is. They take food from each other all the time. Leo's the one who made it weird, not Donnie, even if he did take one of Leo's crackers.
Donnie looks at him, uncertain. He still hasn't touched the remaining cracker in his lap. Leo wishes he would finish eating it now, so it isn't tempting him.
"...Still. I won't do it again," says Donnie finally, looking down at his lap and wringing his hands. He looks miserable, and Leo hates that he caused this.
Before he can do or say anything more, Draxum gets Leo's attention by holding out a new cracker. "Here," he says, waiting until Leo takes it, before handing a few to the still shell-shocked Donnie. "Both of you can have crackers. Now don't squabble, you'll disturb the neighbors."
Donnie puts the crackers in his lap and doesn't touch them again. The air in the room is stifling. And Leo wants to eat his own crackers, but now it feels awkward.
"I think you should steal one of his to get him back," says Mikey in an exaggerated whisper, a gallant attempt to dispel the tension. It doesn't quite work, but it breaks the silence enough for Leo to force out a chuckle and pick up a cracker.
"Everyone eat what you've been given and settle down," says Draxum, going to sit on the other bed. Splinter mumbles in his sleep again and rolls over. Everyone relaxes a little more.
Leo bites into the cracker. It tastes like all of nothing, but it has a pleasant crunch between his teeth, and he finds that he likes it.
Next to him, Donnie hesitantly finishes off his own half-finished cracker. Then he half-heartedly eats the others. Leo drinks his vegetable juice, then swallows the pill Draxum gives him.
Mikey does his best to fill the room with happy chatter, and the mood lightens, little by little.
Everything's okay. He just can't do that again.
-----
Everyone but Draxum is asleep when Raph and April come back into the room, just a little before dawn. Splinter is splayed out across the bed closest to the door, while all three of his little brothers are curled around each other in the bed by the bathroom.
Raph and April spent a long time sitting by the barrier, talking intermittently between long spells of silence. Then they moved to the tank, taking a nap together on the bench seats.
April has her travel pillow and blanket now, and she takes both and spreads out at the foot of his brothers’ bed, wisely putting her head by Donnie, who sleeps still as the dead, and not Mikey, who has already moved several times since they walked in. She yawns and then conks out almost immediately, glasses held loosely in her hand against her chest.
Raph wishes he didn’t feel quite so wide awake.
Draxum is sitting in one of the chairs by the table, phone in hand. He has a notebook open and scribbles into it with a pen. Raph comes over and takes a peek: it’s all notes about nutrition, the vitamins that are most critically needed after a long term starvation event.
Draxum’s helping Leo. That makes Raph feel better, and he sinks into the other chair, leaning his head back.
“You should try to get some sleep,” says Draxum, voice low. “We’ll be leaving in a few hours.”
“Raph’s good,” he says, staying where he is.
He feels Draxum’s eyes on him, for a moment. “I’m taking watch. Go to sleep, Raphael.”
Raph hesitates, then gets up from the chair and goes to lay down next to his dad. Splinter grumbles in his sleep, but rolls over like he knows to make room for a son crawling into his bed.
From here Raph can see Leo’s face. It’s gaunt and washed out, and even with all the sleeping he’s done there are still dark circles under his eyes. He looks so fragile, and the anger burns in his chest again, that anyone could hurt him like this.
He’s safe now, though. Mikey has an arm curled around his plastron, and Donnie flanks his other side like a guard. He’s able to rest, and eat, and get better.
Raph remembers what April said. Give Leo time to heal, then talk about what happened in there. He can do that. He can be patient.
He hadn’t thought he would be able to sleep, but lying still, with his sleeping family all around him, safe and sound, puts him under in minutes.
-----
"Morning, Leo!"
Leo blinks awake, taking in his surroundings. The walls are beige, the bed is blue, there's a TV playing the morning news on low volume, there's sunlight shining through the window.
He can smell food.
"It's breakfast time!" says Mikey. He's standing next to the bed, holding a tray. Leo wriggles until he's sitting up against the pillows, grinning as he pats his lap.
"Thanks, Mikey."
"You're welcome!" Mikey gives Leo a thousand watt smile as he sets the tray down.
Leo wishes he could feel as enthusiastic as his little brother as he gets a look at his breakfast. There's a large cup of white yogurt, and a little plate of scrambled eggs that don't even look like they have pepper on them. He's glad he has food, he just wishes it was something more exciting.
He lifts his eyes and takes a look around the room. Donnie is in one of the chairs by the table, tapping away on his phone. April is in the other chair, and she smiles and gives him a little wave when he meets her eyes. His dad is in the other bed, munching on what looks like a muffin and watching the news. He doesn't see Raph, but he hears the shower running.
Draxum is standing by the doorway, watching Leo. When their gazes meet, he sighs, rubbing the furrow on his forehead.
"Are you going to ask me what you're eating again?"
"Yes!" Leo points at the cup of yogurt. "What is this!? It's not even fruit flavored!"
"It's Greek yogurt. You can have fruit when your stomach is more settled."
"Ugh..." Leo sighs, grabbing the plastic spoon off his tray and scooping up a tiny bite of yogurt. It's not terrible, but without any fruit it's not very exciting.
"Hey, look at the bright side," says Mikey, holding out a plastic cup. "You get apple juice this morning! Since it had no sugar added, Draxum said it's okay!"
Leo musters up a smile. "Well, it's better than vegetable juice..."
"Don't get too excited," says Draxum dryly. "You'll be drinking more on the drive home."
"You're such a buzzkill, Drax," Leo huffs, taking a bite of his eggs now. They're unseasoned, but they're something. And there's the part of him that is just happy to have any food, simmering under the surface and demanding he eat faster. To keep himself from cramming the whole of the plate in his mouth at once, he turns to Mikey. "Hey, sneak me a muffin. Blueberry or chocolate chip."
Mikey grimaces. "I don't think Barry wants me to do that..."
Leo pouts, chewing his eggs slowly. "Who are you going to listen to, him or me?"
"He'll listen to me," says Draxum sternly. "If you're still hungry after that, you can have some more crackers."
Leo sighs, but part of him feels better knowing the crackers are still on the table. He crams more eggs in his mouth and chews as sulkily as possible.
There's an Old Navy ad playing on TV. Splinter sits up straighter in bed when he sees it, getting muffin crumbs everywhere. "Ah, that reminds me! Blue wanted some warm clothes to wear on the ride home." Splinter reaches out and pats Mikey on the arm. "Orange, Purple - why don't the two of you go to the gift shop and do some shopping? You can get a souvenir for yourselves as well."
"Oooh, yes!" Mikey bounces excitedly in place. "Dibs on picking out Leo's clothes!"
"Gasp!" Donnie stands up, pointing at him dramatically. "You know I'm the fashionable one in this family! Leo, tell him you want me to pick out your clothes for our return trip!"
"Mmm, I dunno..." Leo grins up at his little brother, giving him a wink. "I think Angelo's got this."
Donnie makes a noise of utter betrayal while Mikey cheers and stoops to give Leo a hug. "I won't let you down, Leon!" he promises, giving Leo a big smooch on the top of his head.
"I know you won't."
"Fine then! I'll just have to make you all jealous with my own selections." Donnie looks down. "April, do you want to join us?"
"Yeah, sure." April stands up, stretching her arms above her head. "Maybe I'll get a keychain or something."
The three of them file out of the room, Donnie and Mikey still arguing animatedly. Draxum takes one of the abandoned chairs, and Splinter goes back to watching the news.
Leo continues eating his bland breakfast, and tries not to spend too much time wondering when his next meal will be. At least he's been promised crackers.
-----
Raph comes out of the bathroom about ten minutes later, just as Leo's finishing up his breakfast with a few crackers. He nearly jumps when their eyes meet.
"Oh, hey, Leo," he says, voice a forced cheerful. "You're awake! That's great!"
"Yeah," says Leo back, trying not to sound too awkward and failing. He holds up his empty cup. "Just finished breakfast."
"O-oh, yeah. Was it... good?"
Leo grimaces. "Not really."
"Oh." Raph hovers in the doorway, practically vibrating with nervous energy. Leo wonders if he should apologize, but he still doesn't know what he's apologizing for, so he doesn't.
He'd know if Raph would just go ahead and yell at him, but Raph doesn't seem eager to start. Maybe he doesn't think Leo is healed up enough yet, or maybe he doesn't want to do it in front of Splinter. Either way, no yelling seems forthcoming.
Instead, Raph says, "Uh, where's everyone else?"
"Shopping for clothes for Blue and for souvenirs for themselves," Splinter answers.
"Oh, cool. Maybe... maybe I'll go join 'em!"
Raph pats Leo on the head as he goes by, then leaves the room like it's on fire. Leo is silent; he has no idea what to say or do.
He's out of food now, too. He's already asked Draxum for crackers once, and he's not sure if asking again will actually gain him anything. And with Mikey gone, he feels too anxious to try.
He settles back on his pillows and turns his eyes to the TV, lifting the plastic spoon in his hands. He slots the handle between his teeth and chews, relaxing at the feel of it. It's sturdier than the water bottles, so he can't flatten it down as easily, but the way he can munch on it endlessly has its own appeal.
The news drones on. His dad laughs at something the anchors say. Draxum scribbles away at a notebook. And Leo leans back on his pillows and chews on the spoon.
On the ticker at the bottom of the screen, he notices the tail end of a news item about a training accident at a military facility in Colorado Springs - one injured.
-----
The outfit Mikey has picked out is a sky blue hoodie with "PIKE'S PEAK" in big block letters and darker blue plaid sweatpants. They meet Leo's standards for softness and comfiness, if not quite his standards for style. It's fine, because he's after the former right now.
"Did I do good?" Mikey asks, bouncing on his toes.
"You did great," Leo responds, motioning him closer so he can rub his head affectionately. It lacks his usual punch, but Mikey laughs and wiggles away anyway.
"We also got," Mikey rummages around in the gift store bag, then pulls out, "matching fuzzy socks!"
The socks are in their signature colors and have snowboarders on them, and each set has a terrible pun like, "SNOW RULES!" and "COOLER THAN COOL!" Leo loves them immediately.
"I think this is the best gift you've ever gotten me," says Leo sincerely. Mikey beams and comes in for a hug that Leo gladly returns.
"Here, put 'em on!" says Mikey after he backs away, nodding at the hoodie and pants on the bed. "You don't want to be cold, right?"
"Right," says Leo, lifting the hoodie in his arms. A quick glance around the room shows that they're all looking at him now - Mikey, Donnie, and April by the bed, Splinter from the other bed, Draxum at the table, Raph hovering in the doorway. Waiting for him to put the clothes on.
He wishes they wouldn't.
It's weird. He's never felt self-conscious like this. He and his brothers have never really practiced modesty the way humans do, especially around each other. And yet the idea of standing in front of them now with no clothes, not even his mask, makes him feel strangely queasy.
He tries to tell himself it's because of how he looks now. Stick thin arms and legs, weird, unhealthy skin tone, dark circles under his eyes that a few hours of unconsciousness and one night of intermittent sleep have definitely not erased. That it's just his normal vanity.
But he can still feel it: that guard's eyes on him, any time he left the safety of his hiding spot under his cot.
He pulls the hoodie on over his head while he's still in bed. Then he crawls out of bed and pulls the pants on as fast as he can.
He looks around to see if anyone noticed, but their expressions haven't changed. Mikey gives him a thumbs up.
He relaxes. With the clothes on, the feeling of being exposed finally ebbs away. And it is warmer like this, which is a plus.
It's okay. In a day or two, he'll be over this weird self-consciousness and back to normal, and no one has to know about it.
"Well, how do I look?" he asks, grinning and turning in a circle. Mikey and April clap indulgently for him.
"Lookin' good, Leo," says April, and he gives her a wink.
"Well, even though you chose to forego my aesthetic sensibilities, I got you something, too," says Donnie, pushing his way forward. He holds out a pair of flipflops, which say "We're in" and "CO" on the toes and have cartoon giraffes on the heels. Leo can't help but grin when he sees them. "Trust me, you'll want these if we have to go into any gas station restrooms. Shudder."
Leo laughs, then reaches out an arm to pull Donnie into a hug before he can escape. To his surprise, Donnie doesn't even put up a token fight against it, hugging him back more fiercely than usual.
"Thanks, I love them," he says into Donnie's ear.
"Of course you do," says Donnie smugly, but his eyes are suspiciously shiny when he breaks the hug. Nothing feels awkward between them now, even given the cracker incident earlier, and Leo is glad.
“Okay!” says April, clapping her hands. “Checkout’s in thirty minutes - if you have anything else to do, do it now.”
“Wait,” says Leo, looking around. “Where’s my mask?” It’d be nice for hiding the dark circles.
“Oh, I think Raph grabbed it,” says April, but when she turns, Raph is gone. April presses her fingers to her forehead and sighs. “Okay, you can get it later.”
Leo’s mouth suddenly feels dry. He reaches around and grabs a bottle of vegetable juice Draxum gave him, draining the last of it.
“Checkout in twenty eight minutes,” says Donnie to cut the awkwardness. “Let’s go, people!”
Leo sits on the bed and watches his family prepare to leave, gnawing on the top of his juice bottle.
-----
“Wake up, sleepyhead,” calls a voice, and Leo blinks awake to see April standing over his cot. No, not the cot - this is the bench seat in the tank. If he’s going to be sleeping so much, he needs to stop waking up confused.
And he has been sleeping a lot. The only time they woke him up was to eat another snack of crackers with a little bit of mushed up banana, like he’s some kind of baby.
The banana did help break up the monotony, though.
Leo can’t help but hope he’s being woken up for food again.
Like she read his mind, April grins and holds out a hand to help him up. “Lunch time!” she announces.
“Oh boy,” says Leo, taking the hand and slowly getting to his feet. He’s stiff from lying in the tank for so long, and he stretches and pops his arms. “More flavorless mush.”
“Maybe we can convince Drax to give you a little salt this time,” says April with a snicker. She waits for him to slip the flipflops on, then leads him out of the tank.
It occurs to him that this is the first time he’s really been out in the sun in over a week, excluding times he’s been unconscious and the short walk from the motel room to the tank. He takes a minute to just lean his face back and feel the warmth of it on his skin. It hasn’t even been that long, and he’s used to life underground, but somehow it feels different this time, foreign and new and sweet.
When he looks back at April, she’s tearing up again. She quickly wipes at the bottoms of her eyes and pulls on a smile, linking her arm around his.
“Come on. We can grab a picnic table and sit outside.”
It's then that Leo actually takes in where they are: a big travel center, or that's what the sign on the building declare. The tank is parked at the gas pumps, and Donnie, with his hood up, is excitedly talking about it to some interested truckers who have come over. He spots Mikey over at the grassy space for dog walking, laughing while a puppy licks his face, a seemingly annoyed Draxum standing off to the side with his arms folded. He doesn't see Raph or Splinter, but April fills him in as they cross the parking lot.
"Raph and Splints are inside ordering food. They have a whole diner in there!"
"Let me guess: I'm eating soup."
"I think it's potato."
"Well, at least it's not more tomato." Leo makes a face. "If I have to drink any more vegetable juice I'm going to turn red and swell up into a ball."
"You know what pizza sauce is made out of, right?" she asks, playfully bumping into him.
"Actually, I don't," he says smoothly, bumping into her back. They fake tussle outside the door for a moment, until both of them are laughing.
Someone trying to get past clears their throat loudly, and April and Leo shoot them an apologetic look before going on inside. Leo visits the restroom and tries not to look too long at the arrays of snacks on offer. April goes to help Raph and his dad with the food.
They all end up back outside at a large picnic table. His family has a mix of foods: burgers, hot dogs, salads, chicken strips. He knows there was pizza inside, and it touches him that no one picked it.
Next to everyone else's large, full plates, his own bowl of soup feels ridiculously small and sad. But he doubts any amount of pouting will convince Draxum to let him have a burger, so he digs in. At least this has some flavor.
Lunch is nice, even if Raph is still acting weird and distant. It’s just good being in the sun and the fresh air. Leo is reluctant to leave as they finish up.
“Come with me!” says Mikey as the others go to throw their trash away and buy anything they need for the return trip. He holds out his hand, and Leo takes it and follows Mikey back toward the grassy area at the edge of the parking lot. They make sure there are no dog droppings, then lay down in the grass, looking up at the blue sky and the clouds going overhead.
“I thought it’d be nice to get a little more sun before we have to get back in the tank,” says Mikey, limbs splayed out in every direction. He’s taken off his hoodie - no one at the travel center has paid much attention to the peeks of green skin they’ve been showing off, and no one is nearby right now, anyway.
It is a little hot. But the idea of being shirtless where a stranger can see him keeps Leo fully swaddled.
He pushes that thought aside, closing his eyes and just trying to enjoy the feeling of the sun on his skin, the breeze blowing by, the grass under his fingers. He doesn’t get to touch a lot of grass in the city, but it reminds him of times they would sneak out to Central Park.
“This is really nice, Angelo,” he says. “Thanks.”
“Mmhmmm.”
They’re quiet for a few minutes, just laying there, with only the ambient sounds of the travel center keeping them company. Leo starts to feel like he might doze off again.
“…Hey Leo?”
Leo blinks his eyes open, craning his neck to see Mikey. “Yeah?”
“Are you… okay?”
Ah. Maybe he should have expected this.
“Of course I’m okay,” he says, voice nonchalant. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Uh, well…” Mikey hesitantly trails off, clearly trying to decide what he wants to say.
Leo takes care of it for him. “It’s over, Mikey. You guys saved me. I’m okay.” He turns his head and grins. “And once Draxum stops being the food police, everything will be back to normal.”
“Mmm…” Mikey doesn’t sound as convinced as he should. Man, Leo’s smiles are really failing him lately. “But… if something’s bothering you… You’ll tell us, right?”
Leo pats his head. “Of course I will.”
If it’s worth bringing up to them, anyway.
Mikey’s eyes rove his face for a moment, but in the end he must be satisfied, because he smiles and rolls to toss his arm over Leo’s chest. “Okay. But I’ll hold you to that.”
“Or what, I’ll get a visit from the doctor?”
“You know it!”
Leo laughs, which gets Mikey laughing. They stay there until Raph calls their names across the parking lot, and they go back to the tank.
-----
He manages to stay awake after they stop for lunch, curled up on the bench seat. He doesn’t have the energy to talk as much as normal, but he leans against Donnie and contributes where he can. He’s just happy to be back with them, hearing and seeing them all around him.
But there’s something always at the back of his mind keeping him from fully relaxing: he doesn’t know when he gets to eat next. And he knows it will be okay - he’s with his family, and they’d never let him go hungry. He knows that, but about two and a half hours after lunch, he keeps finding himself returning to the same thought.
He’s drinking on a sugar-free Gatorade they got him at the travel center; one of the only non-vegetable or fruit drinks Draxum approved. Mikey has just finished up a story from one of the many art vlogs he watches, and, in the lag of conversation, he tries to broach the subject casually.
“Sooo… what’s our plan for the rest of the drive? Are we stopping, or…?”
“We’re going to try to make it all the way back to New York,” says April. “We already have our shifts picked out, and the autopilot is helping.”
“We can stop in a few more hours for another bathroom break,” says Donnie, pulling up a holoscreen showing their route and the drive time remaining. “Unless someone needs us to stop sooner.” He glances at Leo, and the way he’s bouncing the rim of the bottle off his teeth.
“Oh, uh, I’m good,” he says quickly, lowering the bottle. "I'm just wondering, uh... what about stopping for dinner?"
His family does about as good a job being subtle about looking at each other as he's being subtle about his worry. "We were thinking we'd probably try to find something around seven," says Donnie.
Seven. It's a little after three now. Okay. He can wait that long. What's four hours? And at least he knows what to expect now.
His family hesitantly return to their conversation. And Leo does his best to pay attention. April is telling them about all the stuff she's been doing to prepare for college in the fall, how she's already chatting with people running the student paper. She's excited about it, and Leo is excited for her.
"Ew, Leo," says Donnie suddenly, tearing him out of his thoughts. "Why are you doing that?"
Leo looks over at him in confusion. He starts to ask, Doing what?, but when he opens his mouth to speak, something falls out of his teeth and into his lap.
It's the Gatorade bottle cap, chewed down flat. Leo can see the marks from where his molars snapped through the lip, and the dents where he's been gnawing at it with his incisors.
He didn't even know he was doing that.
Everyone saw him doing that.
Embarrassment flushes through him, and he scrambles to grab the lid and toss it into their communal trash sack. Maybe no one noticed how thoroughly he had chewed on it.
"Gross," says Donnie, his nose scrunched up. So at the very least he saw. "You don't know where that's been."
"Oh please, it's not that gross," says Leo, doing his best to keep his voice light and airy. "It's just a bottle cap."
"That other people have touched and that you put into your mouth."
"Don't knock it till you try it, bro."
"I'm good not trying it."
"Your loss," says Leo with a shrug. He leans back, cool and calm and collected and not a total weirdo who gnaws on plastic like it's candy. "Stop looking at me like that, I threw it away already."
Donnie stops looking at him, literally. Things feel tense again. Leo doesn’t know how he keeps managing that.
Mikey jumps up, walking to the front of the tank, where Draxum is asleep in one of the chairs. Mikey shakes him awake, smiling in the face of his annoyed grumbling.
“Hey, Barry, is it okay if Leo has a snack?”
“Why do you have to ask him?” calls Leo, folding his arms. “Besides, I’m fine!”
His protests go ignored. “What time is it?” asks Draxum, sitting up and smoothing down his robes.
“I’m fine!” insists Leo, louder.
“It’s three fifteen,” Mikey says.
“Mm… Yes, he can have a snack.” Draxum gets up, going over to their snack cooler. “Leonardo, do you want crackers or more banana?”
“I’m fine!” Leo tries one more time, but his stomach flips when it occurs to him that he may actually not get a snack if he insists, and he wants the snack.
He sighs, sinking back in his seat, and says, “Crackers.” He wants the crunch of eating them.
Draxum brings him his crackers. There’s only four. He’s not sure why he’s getting less this time. Maybe because he was caught chewing on the lid.
He doesn’t ask. He eats what he’s been given, and then decides the best thing for everyone would be if he took another nap.
-----
Raph would have driven them all the way to New York if he’d been allowed. But they insist on having him swap with Donnie, and he ends up sitting in the back on the benches with because the other front chairs are hard for him to fit in.
Leo is asleep. He’s been sleeping a lot, but that’s to be expected. His body barely has any energy, and going by the dark circles, Raph knows he didn’t get much sleep while he was…
When Leo is awake, his family are their lively selves, chatting and laughing and enjoying each other’s company. Once he goes to sleep, everyone quiets down, Donnie dims the lights in the cab, and a weird melancholy sets in.
Leo looks terrible. They haven’t talked about it, but they all know it. Raph is shocked Leo has even been able to walk on his own, but Draxum attributes that to their reinforced mutant biology. He’s swimming in a hoodie that is his size, his hands and feet are skeletal where they poke out of his clothes. Raph wonders how long it will take for him to start filling out again, to have muscle like he did before. He’s afraid to ask.
Splinter sits with Leo’s head in his lap, rubbing his shell any time he shifts in his sleep. Mikey curls up against Raph and sniffles, and Raph pulls him closer.
He has to keep reminding himself that Leo is here, and safe. He just ate a snack, and soon they’ll get another meal in him. Just give it a week or two, and they’ll have their brother back.
And then, he’ll make sure Leo knows he never has to sacrifice himself again.
-----
Home looks just like Leo remembered it, and feels totally foreign at the same time.
His family clap for him as he walks in, and he does a little bow, which is a poor decision because it leaves him feeling lightheaded after. Luckily Raph is there to catch him and carry him from the garage to the chair in the living room. Things are still weird between them, but at least Raph isn't totally avoiding him.
(Raph still hasn't yelled at him. He wishes they could just get it over with.)
They eat lunch, with Leo getting bland soup and crackers again. Draxum notes that he could have peanut butter if they could have it in the lair, which makes Raph look pointlessly guilty, so Leo changes the subject. After lunch, April gives him a big hug and tells him she'll see him soon, but she has to go back home before her mom gets too worried. Leo feels bad when he learns she's missed several days of class now, but she just laughs and pats his head.
"I'm a senior and it's May, Leo; that I show up at all is enough for them."
Everyone's tired from being on the road for over twenty four hours, so after April leaves they unanimously agree on a movie marathon/turtle pile in the living room. His brothers drag out their comfiest pillows and blankets and set up in the floor, while Splinter cuddles up with Leo in his recliner. Draxum actually stays, to everyone's surprise, and Mikey jumps at the opportunity to introduce him to the magic of Lou Jitsu and Jupiter Jim.
Leo drifts in and out the whole evening. He'll be awake for the whole first act of a movie, then blink and suddenly they're partway through a different film. Each time he wakes his dad is there, patting his hand and saying, "Hello, Blue," and his brothers are around him, quoting their favorite lines or jumping up to act along with their favorite parts. It's normal and it's familiar and it's warm and soft.
He eats more soup for dinner, and crackers and banana and a little pudding cup, as a treat. His family gets more sleepy as evening turns to night; his dad's snoring fills the room, and Draxum finally leaves to go to his apartment. His brothers settle in and fall asleep around the middle of Jupiter Jim's Last Trip to the Moon 17, curled up in a heap at the foot of the chair.
He's home.
He's really home.
It's over.
Leo buries his face in his dad's fur and lets that thought carry him to sleep.
-----
Leo's home and it's amazing.
Raph wishes that meant everything was back to normal.
He doesn't know how to be around Leo right now. Every time he looks at him, he sees the stick thin arms and the gaunt face and he hears Leo's voice saying, That's not what a hero would do, and he doesn't know what to say anymore. What if he accidentally says something that makes Leo feel like what happened to him was right? What if he accidentally makes Leo think he should do it again?
It's only been a day, he tries to tell himself. Leo's still spending most of his time sleeping, between his regular snacks and meals. Even when he's awake, he doesn't have much energy for conversation, seeming content to just sit and listen to everyone else. It's just not the right time. It'll get better once Leo is better.
He can wait until then.
It's the afternoon now, the day after they brought Leo home. Raph just finished his workout and is making his rounds to check on everyone, just to make sure that everyone is... well, just to make sure. Splinter is in the kitchen making tea, a kind with no caffeine or sugar, as per Draxum's instructions. Mikey and Leo are in the living room, a half-asleep Leo watching Mikey play video games on the projecter.
Donnie isn't there.
His heart lurches, no matter how much he tells himself it's okay. Donnie is fine, Donnie is home, Donnie hasn't gone missing, not right after they got Leo back.
(He'd tried to tell himself Leo was fine in the beginning, too.)
He checks their rooms first, but Donnie's is empty. Then it's up to the lab, where he finds the door closed.
He knocks, and a robotic voice asks for identification. He sighs, not wanting to play this game right now.
"Donnie, it's me. You better be in there..."
The door beeps and then slides up, revealing a dimly lit lab. At first, Raph thinks he must not be here, and he's about to turn to leave, but then he hears a noise from Donnie's big computer desk.
A sniffle.
His big brother senses shifting into hyperdrive, he speed-walks over. The door slides shut behind him with a mechanical whir.
Sure enough, Donnie is there, legs pulled up into his desk chair, face buried in his knees. His goggles are off and laying on the desk, and his computer monitor shows a video, frozen on...
A white room, almost empty, save the cot that is for some reason propped up in front of the toilet, and...
Donnie sniffles again, and Raph tears his eyes away from one little brother to the other.
"Donnie...? What is this?"
Donnie sniffs and sits up a little more, rubbing under his eyes where tear tracks are already drying. "It's the surveillance video from the EPF base."
Raph gathered that much. "Why... are you watching it?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Donnie looks up at him. "I wanted to see what they did to him."
"You couldn't just ask him?"
Donnie's drawn on eyebrows go down. "I don't know, do you want to ask him?"
Raph imagines trying to ask Leo questions like that and can't help but cringe. "Okay, no. Raph doesn't want to do that."
"Exactly." Donnie gestures at the screen. "I got this footage from the base. And I erased it permanently from their systems, for the record, and destroyed the hard drives to be sure. But I kept a copy for us. I thought, if Leo wasn't in a state to... well, just in case. We might need it for medical reasons."
"But we know what's wrong with him," Raph points out.
"Do we?"
"Uh, yeah." Raph nods. "Starvation... right?"
"Well, yes." Donnie drums his fingers on the table. "But... he's different, now. He's pretending he's not, and he's doing his normal Leo thing of joking and smiling, but... he is." Donnie scowls. "And I already asked Michael to confirm my suspicions, and he said so, too, so I know this isn't me overreacting!"
"Okay, okay!" Raph holds up his hands placatingly. "So you wanted to watch the footage to see what happened. What'd you find out?"
Donnie wilts, resting his chin on his knees. "I couldn't get further than the first twenty four hours."
Raph feels a foreboding chill run over his spine. "You couldn't... or you didn't want to?"
Donnie reaches over and presses a button. The footage shifts to a different angle, so now he can see the wall Leo was curled up against. Donnie runs the footage back at a fast speed, and Raph watches as Leo gets up a few times, disappearing into the blind spot of the camera, or going to grab water from a little slot by the door, until Donnie freezes on a new scene: the wall opening up to reveal a large window.
He leans forward, putting his hands on the desk. "Raph saw that - they were watching his cell through that."
"Yes. And he would sit in that spot," Donnie runs the footage forward a bit, to where Leo is sitting against the now white wall, "because it's in a blind spot to the window."
Raph grimaces. "He didn't want them watching him."
"But it didn't matter," says Donnie, and he reaches over and taps the button to go to a new angle... and again... and again. "They have every inch of the room covered."
Raph's heart sinks. "Does he know?"
"Leo's not dumb," says Donnie, a magnanimous statement coming from him. "He knew they had to be watching him with cameras."
"But he still tried to hide..."
"He was doing whatever he had to to feel better," concludes Donnie.
Raph sighs. "I wonder if it worked."
Donnie clicks another button, and the video player closes. He swivels his chair to face Raph, his eyes shiny again.
"I don't want to watch anymore," he admits.
Raph nods. "I wouldn't want to, either."
"No, I mean... because he was trying to hide." Donnie rubs at his eyes again. "Maybe it is a little ironic for me to be saying this, but... it feels like it would be a privacy violation."
Raph turns that over. Maybe knowing what happened to Leo could help them. But what Donnie is saying feels more important.
He puts his hand on Donnie's shoulder, the part that's bare past his battleshell, and gives it a rub. "You love him and you don't want to hurt him," he concludes.
Donnie sniffles again, and then uncurls himself, putting his legs down on the ground. He doesn't have to do more than that for Raph to catch on, and Raph scoops Donnie up into a hug that is quickly returned.
"...I keep hurting him," Donnie admits, resting his head on Raph's shoulder. "I don't know how, but it keeps happening."
"...Yeah, well, join the club," says Raph sadly. He pats at Donnie's back. "Raph can't seem to say the right thing, either."
Donnie laughs miserably. "I thought getting him back would be the hard part. And then everything would go back to normal."
"Yeah..." Raph gives him a tight squeeze. "But you know what April said?"
"What?"
"That we'll do the hard part, 'cause we love him."
"Well, April is the only other smart one in this family," says Donnie, and Raph gives him a noogie with no actual pressure.
"Everything will be okay," he says. "Raph promises."
That seems to calm Donnie down. Raph just hopes he can actually keep it.
-----
It's his first night back in his room, and for the first time since escaping, Leo can't sleep.
He doesn't know why he can't. The sheets are the same as always. The dim lights from outside his subway car filter in through the windows the same as they used to. He's wearing his favorite pajamas, which have pants and long sleeves. The temperature is warm but not too hot. Conditions are perfect.
But he can't sleep.
At first he thought maybe it's because he's alone for the first time, but he doesn't think it's that. In fact, the idea of going to one of his brothers or his dad makes him feel even more exhausted. He loves them and he loves being around them, but he's had to work hard all day to not seem too weird. He caught himself chewing his spoon at lunch and had to stop. He paced the kitchen until Draxum gave the okay for him to have a snack. Mikey poked his head in while he was changing shirts earlier and he froze up, deer in the headlights. In the end, he went to the bathroom to change, because at least there aren't windows in there.
He's being weird, and trying to not be weird is taking all his energy.
So no. He's okay being alone right now. But something is still bothering him.
It's not the bed; he slept in the motel just fine. It's not the temperature, because they're making sure the lair stays nice and warm for him. And it's not the clothes, because the clothes are covering him up. And it's not the windows because it's not even like anyone is looking through them.
Right?
It's only then that Leo realizes he keeps staring out of them.
He tears his eyes away to look at the ceiling, taking deep breaths. What is he worried about? So what if the train car is full of windows? Who would even be looking at him? It's just his family outside, and if they need to talk to him they'll come in.
Besides, the windows are see-through. If someone were looking at him, he'd be able to see them.
Just to reassure himself of that, Leo looks around at all the windows again.
Yep. Still see-through. So it's fine. It's really not a big deal! No one is going to look through the windows at him here. No one is watching him. He's safe, and if he weren't, he would know, because he can see.
...Maybe he could hide under his bed.
Leo gives his head a hard shake. No. He is not going to hide under his bed, because that would be weird, and Leonardo Hamato is not weird.
Maybe he can just... put up some curtains in his room. Just, purely for aesthetic reasons. Yeah, that would look really cool. He could get some blue ones with some kind of sick design. Add some real originality to this place.
And then he could cover the windows and no one could look in unless he wanted them to.
Not that anyone is looking in, because he's home and he's safe and he's okay and he really wants to hide under his bed-
He takes deep breaths. His eyes land on the posters on the wall of the train car.
Maybe... maybe they would look better over the windows. Just... aesthetically.
He moves the posters to the windows of the train car, pressing hard to get the old tape to stick. It covers the immediate windows around his bed, but there are still others, and they're more in the dark, so Leo can't see who might be out there.
Not that anyone would be.
But if someone were, he wouldn't be able to know.
So he grabs towels next, and t-shirts, and anything he has lying around his room, and puts them on the bed. Then he sneaks to the kitchen to find a roll of masking tape.
It's not easy, but after about an hour he's managed to cover every window in the train car with something.
Just... a preview. For how sweet the curtains are going to look. And not for any weird reasons, like being scared.
Because he's not scared. He's home, and he's safe, and no one is watching him from outside the windows.
He lays down in bed and surveys his handwork. The room is even darker now, with every window covered, completely different from the stark ever-present light in that place.
It makes him feel safe and hidden.
No one can look in, and he's shielded by the dark.
(He has no idea how he's going to explain this tomorrow.)
But when he finally shuts his eyes, he sleeps like a baby.
-----
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (here) | Part 4 Part A
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ashurzs · 10 months ago
Note
Heya! I’m in love with your OCs and have been rereading their stories way too many times so I’d like to make a request!
I’d love to see pervert bf trying to make his wet dreams come true now that reader is back. The idea of bf taking photos of reader while fucking him dumb has me in a chokehold ngl 😋 bf seems like the type to tease reader abt it too. If you’re uncomfortable with this idea feel free to exclude it! I’m alr happy with the food you’ve given us so don’t feel obligated 🫶 love your works!
SMILE FOR ME BABY !
cws: bttm!mreader, video/picture taking, like one sentence of degradation, mostly praise tho!!
“babyy~” your boyfriend, haru, wraps his arms around your waist as he groans. he’s been like this ever since you came back two days ago.. clinging onto, following you, whining like a lost puppy. “i’ve missed you so much..” he sobs out dramatically as he clings onto you.
“you can let go of me you know.. it’s not like i’m gonna-“ “no!” “we’re on the bed?!”
you sigh, trying to pry his hands off of you. “haru!” you whine out, trying to pry his hands off of your waist while constantly trying to wiggle out of his grasp. he sighs and just hugs you tighter, deciding to put his leg over yours.
“baby.. you’re so cute when you look angry,” you see him smile and blush, biting his lower lip. his dyed pink hair, pink nail polish you painted weeks ago, his twinkling eyes and his soft cheeks.
“w..what?” you say, blushing softly. then you quickly shove his face away when he lays on top of you, looking at you as you feel something poke against your thigh. but he grabs your wrist, kissing your fingertips. “please.. pretty boy.?”
“h-haru! fuck.. wait- you’re so.. big-“ you struggle to say it properly as he continues to push himself inside of you, kissing your tears and holding your hand. honestly, he is quite sweet and is very cute, but he’s..
“can i record you baby?” “huh.?” you blink through the tears, whining and gripping his hand tighter when you feel him fully inside. “record,” he says again, waiting for your signal to finally be able to fuck your tight hole. “so when you leave again for work.. i have something to jack off to.” he says while using the hand that was on your waist to rub the skin softly, a way to calm the pain down maybe?
“you’re.. shameless for asking that without stuttering..” you say out. nodding your head, he smirks. “why should i be ashamed of my pretty baby being fucked dumb hm?” he says, unwrapping his hands from yours and using them to grip at your waist. “my precious boy.. don’t think okay? jus focus on my cock mhm?”
haru smirks as he watches you arch your back, biting your arm and muffling his name like chants while he continues to grip at your waist with his left hand and thrust into you. grabbing his phone and going to his camera, he presses record. he makes sure to get everything. from the way your cock slaps against your stomach to the way your back arches, from your muffled moans and just barely shy of your face. “feels good huh? moaning my name like it’s the only word you know..” he coos mockingly, smirking once he hears a gasped moan. “yeah? right there?”
he continues to abuse that same spot, recording the way the hand that had previously been gripping at the sheets go to his wrists. “haru haru haru~” he copies you as he giggles, whiningly cursing as he watches you cum all over your stomach, the sight of your hidden face, sweaty body mixed with your cum is enough for him to cum as well, filling you up with soft thrusts to help you calm down. “you okay?” “a-ahuh..” “great.”
“fuck- even if i came in you twice, you still clench around me like you want more like a pathetic whore.” he says, watching you hiccup and sob from the overstimulation. he wasn’t even hitting your prostate though.. “p-please.! l-last one.. no more haruu,!” you beg while he smirks. pressing record once more, he stops thrusting and focuses the camera on your messy hair and tearful expression. leaning forward, he fixes the hair out of your eyes while watching through the camera. you let him, looking at him with doe eyes and pouty lips.
he gulps. he’s done for, you’re so fucking pretty on his phone. “smile for me baby.”
he feels himself smile too, watching as you comply with his request so easily. snapping a picture, he presses record once more. “good boys who listen deserve good cock right?” the phone captures your nods and soft begs. “fuck- if only you’d be able to get pregnant huh?”
pulling out and recording one last time, he captures his cum leaking out of your hole. smiling to himself, he tosses his phone and lays next to you. “i missed you.” he says simply, pushing your hair back and away from your forehead. “fuck off..”
you listen to him talk and ramble, feeling his hand on your back while he plays with your hair. you feel comfortable, just being in his chest and hearing his heart beats while he talks. closing your eyes, you feel the hit of exhaustion that washes over you like a tidal wave.
..
wait, pregnant.?
hey chatt.. um.. grabs ukulele and sings apology for being dead knowing damn well im not gna post for another month or two
ALLOSOSSOOO THANK YOU FOR BIG 300 HELPP I LOVE U ALL CONSENSUALLY THANK U FOR READING MY LITTLE DRABBLES !!
oh yeah pervert bf is now haru! (tbh i took his name from my j.ai bot that i made and i realized hey they seem the same tbh but yup, i could prooobably link him but yaknow!)
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pupuyvs · 23 days ago
Text
lost
pairings: aespa x reader?? idk its not romantic
wc: 1k+
warnings: heavy angst, you’re dead…sorry, mentions of suicide and abuse
a/n i just wanted to test out writing so uhh enjoy this short stuff (and feel free to yell at me in my inbox :D)
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Being friends with Jimin felt like an escape, to be in her group you only had to follow one rule: never discuss the past. The rule worked for them, you all had problems and none of you had to discuss them.
No one brought up how you seemed to fear fire more than others, nor how Minjeong seems to have a strange aversion to water. They didn’t discuss how sickly Aeri often was or how Yizhuo seemed to always appear with new bruises, and they especially didn’t mention Jimin’s disdain towards being touched. And it worked that way, at least it seemed it did, that was until you died.
Suicide, the police told them. The note had been severely burnt, the only piece left having the word sorry written on it.
At your funeral they stand before your picture, one they have never seen before, you look happy – it makes Jimin sick.
They stay until your grandmother arrives, Minjeong not wanting you to be alone. It’s silent as they make their way to the old train tracks, the rocks rolling under their feet being the only sound around them. When they arrive at the train cart they made their second home they each grab a drink from the stash they had accumulated over the years, each taking a sip. They come to a silent agreement that this is also something they won’t talk about.
This agreement only lasts a couple weeks, it’s Yizhuo that breaks first. Her bruised hands shaking as she sobs. It was an honest mistake, someone asked where you were and Yizhuo snapped. It took all three of them to pull her off as she screamed at the person for not knowing what happened to you – she broke down when they left the store. Yizhuo leaves them when she stops sobbing and when she appears the next day with a bruise on her bottom lip they don’t discuss it.
Jimin doesn’t know how to deal with these types of things, she tries to get the group to function as it once had without you, but it’s nearly impossible as none of them can remember the time they had without you.
Aeri slips up next, between her bouts of coughs she asks you to pass her some water. She freezes as your name slips out of her mouth, the air in her lungs rattling as she takes a deep breath in. Jimin rushes to give her a water bottle, praying that this passes, that they can move on, but Aeri is already hyperventilating. It takes Minjeong holding her closely to calm her, thanking Jimin softly as she hands her the water. When she sits next to Yizhuo she misses the way she clenches her hands and how the cuts on her knuckles begin to bleed again.
The beach sounded like a good idea to Jimin, but as Minjeong screams at the top of her lungs she realizes that she may have made a mistake. It started off fine, the beach wasn’t packed as it was winter and the girls listened to the waves from the truck Yizhuo had stolen from her father. Then Minjeong brings up how you loved the ocean, a fact Jimin didn’t know. None of them respond, the waves crash against the rock wall nearby, and Minjeong yells.
Jimin is wary, but when she moves to stop her Aeri grabs onto her, she flinches at the sudden touch but listens to Aeri and moves back. She doesn’t stop till her throat gives out and the ocean calms, on the drive home they stop to get her cough drops. They never bring it up again.
Jimin swears that it doesn’t affect her, she had a handle on her emotions — she was fine. But then she dreams of you, it’s nothing crazy, it’s actually laughable how mundane it is. You guys were on a train eating honey bread, she assumes it’s from the movie she watched earlier. But maybe that simpleness is why when she wakes up she calls you, it isn’t until the fourth ring she remembers that you now only exist in the dreams and memories she holds.
When the group comes together that day their regular silence is off, it’s no longer comfortable nor familiar. Now it’s forced and suffocating, and it’s why Jimin speaks up first.
“Let’s go see them.”
Your grave isn’t anything fancy, it has a bouquet and your picture. The headstone only mentions your name and how you were loved, who you were loved by missing, but it doesn’t anger Jimin because she knew her and the others' names were too long to fit on it.
Minjeong cries first, she sobs when Aeri’s shaky hands lay the few flowers they had collected along the way on her headstone. Yizhuo follows right behind, her sobs come out rasped, her throat still rough from her father’s discovery of the car incident. And when Aeri cries, so does Jimin.
They don’t speak, just sob with each other, and they continue that way until a voice pops up behind them.
“Oh, you’ve finally come.”
Your house, or your grandmother’s, is small but comfortable. Your presence is felt in every space as markings of you grace the wall. The friends sit on the old couch in your old living room — Jimin wonders how many times you have sat here too.
Your grandmother comes back with water for each girl, Yizhuo helping her carry them. When Yizhuo sits next to Jimin your grandmother begins to speak.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get to greet you guys at the funeral, you were gone before I could say hello.”
The girls don’t respond, all of them feeling bad for leaving the woman alone on the day. But the older woman doesn’t seem to notice as she reaches for the box that was on the table. Pulling out pictures from it, they watch as she goes through them before seemingly finding one and handing it to Yizhuo, who is seated closest to her. When the picture is passed to her Jimin stares at it, an odd feeling fills her.
You were smiling while an older woman held you, there was an innocent light in your eyes, a sight the group had never seen. Jimin passes it to Aeri once it becomes too much for her.
When the picture reaches the last person, Minjeong, your grandmother starts to speak. “This was Y/N and their mother when they were younger,” the older woman sighs heavily. “She had died in a house fire when Y/N was only ten, Y/N had watched as the house had crashed around their mother.”
They watch as your grandmother starts to cry, all wanting to comfort her, but not knowing how to since they were never comforted themselves.
“When my grandchild came to live with me they were a shell, but when you guys came into their life, they became alive once more.” She pauses.
“Thank you for letting them experience happiness once more.”
Jimin rushes out the house with her heart practically jumping out of her chest – she can’t breathe. The world seems to be closing in as sobs rush out of her.
The woman’s words repeat in her head like a broken record, it's practically mocking her as tears fall down her cheeks. Grief rushes through her body before settling in her chest, where it screams, begging to be let out. And Jimin wants it to, she’s begging for it to leave her body.
The weight is unbearable as it pounds on her chest, the sobs tenfold, her ears ring. She wants it to end.
She doesn’t know how long she's sobbing, or panicking, for, but it's long enough for the girls to join her and pull her into a hug. And when she calms she feels relief when she realizes they are crying too.
A few weeks pass by when they find themselves at the beach again. They shiver slightly as the cold bites at any exposed skin that it can.
“Here.” Yizhuo says as she passes each one their envelopes, her fingers rough with the bandages Minjeong had put on them recently.
Jimin stares at the envelope, tracing the ink that engraves your name. Looking up she sees the girls look at her and offers them a small smile.
“Ready?”
They all nod to Aeri’s question before leaning down to attach the papers to the lanterns. When they’re sure it’s snug enough to not fall, Minjeong picks it up and walks closer to the ocean, the others following her closely. Grabbing the lighter from Jimin she lights up the bottom of the lantern, when she feels it’s light enough she puts it up gently and lets the wind take it away.
They hold each other’s hands as they watch the lantern disappear. Aeri is the first to pull away, walking back to the car, and Minjeong follows after her. Yizhuo goes soon after with a pat on her back. Jimin waits until her mind can no longer imagine the white dot in the distance, breathing out; she feels the slight ache in her chest return. She breathes out once more as Minjeong had taught her and feels it dull just enough to whisper out her final words to you.
“Goodbye Y/N.”
178 notes · View notes
urfavlarry · 2 months ago
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A/N. this is set in the modern era, so basically the marauders but it’s in 2024, no voldemort, everyone is just happy and alive !! plus this isnso bad istg💀🙏 im so sorry
summary. looking back on soft launching your relationship with Severus during your youthful years at hogwarts and comparing it to present time
requested. yes || no
not.yn
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liked by s.snape, jamie.potter, b.rregulus and 17 others
not.yn Hey lover<3
ׂ╰➤ jamie.potter, b.rregulus and 3 others commented
jamie.potter maybe the schools weirdo can pull after all
b.rregulus when???? what???
lils.evans so happy for the both of u!! >w<
╰➤ jamie.potter yh me too or whateverׂ
╰➤ not.yn simp
posted 8 years ago
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s.snape
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liked by not.yn, lils.evans, rj.lupin and 39 others
s.snape You’re my, my, my.. My kind of woman 🤍
╰➤ not.yn, lils.evans, and 6 others commented
not.yn 🤍🤍🤍
lils.evans the best couple at hogwarts 🥰
╰➤ jamie.potter what about uss 💔
╰➤ rj.lupin and you called severus weird…
╰➤ jamie.potter THAT WAS IN 4TH YEAR???? STOP??
╰➤ s.snape i know what you did
╰➤ jamie.potter IM LIT GETTING ATTACKED RN YOU FORGAVE US LIKE HALF A YEAR AGO??
╰➤ not.yn bully allert cancel him🙏
posted 7 years ago
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mary.macd0nald
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liked by s.snape, b.rregulus, mars.mckinns and 25 others
mary.macd0nald enemies to friends (and some to lovers) 🌻
╰➤ not.yn, lils.evans, and 2 others commented
not.yn never would’ve thought we would all be a big friend group one day 🥹🤍
╰➤ s.snape tell me about it
lils.evans yesterday was so funn!! love you guys
mars.mckinns we need to do this again sometime!
posted 7 years ago
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not.yn
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liked by s.snape, jamie.potter, lils.evans, mary.mcd0nald and 68 others
not.yn welcome to the world baby girl 🤍 13/10/2024
╰➤lils.evans, s.black and 7 others commented
s.snape my two beautiful girls ❤️
lils.evans shes so cute 💞 proud of you mama
s.black uncles are gonna teach her how to have fun 🥰
╰➤ not.yn hell nah 🤺🤺
╰➤ jamie.potter hell yes ;)
╰➤ rj.lupin leave the poor baby alone she hasn’t even been home for a week yet (congratulations 🤍)
mary.macd0nald was just looking back on our teenage years!! so happy to have a new addition to our little group ❤️
b.rregulus can’t wait to meet her
mars.mckinns girl that speed ticket to the hospital was so worth it. happy for the both of you ❤️
posted 1 month ago
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“Hun, what are you doing?” Severus whispered as he closed the door of your daughters room. He layed down on the coach next to you, putting a hand over your shoulders to bring you close, a smile spreading across your face, heart thumping even after so many years of being together. Severus looks down at your phone and his eyes turn to one of shock once he notices the photos he thought he’d never see again.
“You still have those? Thought you deleted them since it was like.. when we were 16?” He raised a brow and scrolled through the many pictures that had been taken in your younger years. “Yeah I just felt.. nostalgic. I’ve never deleted them off my account and I don’t plan to.” A chuckle leaves Severus’ throat and shows you the picture of him you took at the time you announced your relationship, putting it next to his face. “You think I’ve changed much?”
“Not really, you just don’t have your long-long hair anymore. We’re just 23 Severus, what were you expecting at this age? Wrinkles?” You flick his forehead and he winces sarcastically, giving you a dramatic pained expression. “You hurt me, darling.” He sits up and cups your cheek, pulling you into his lap with a sweet smile. “And I must say you’ve grown out of your shy phase and you do smile a lot more.. however I can’t say the same when were around other people.” You smirk, tucking a strand of loose hair behind his ear. “And you haven’t grown out of your constant teasing.” He grunted into your neck and embraced you to hide the small smile forming on his lips. “What can I say? I guess adulthood hasn’t quite kicked in yet.”
However your statement got cut short once you heard your daughters sobs, which died down just as quick as they started. A sigh of relief escaped your lips as Severus breathed out a laugh. “You were saying?” He whispered, looking deep into your eyes im which he could’ve gotten lost in during that very moment. He lifted you in his arms and walked with you in his arms to your bedroom, laying you down onto the bed.
“How about we.. get a bit more nostalgic tonight, hm?”
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© URFAVLARRY
DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE OR COPY ANY OF MY WRITING TO OTHER PLATFORMS
177 notes · View notes
hongcherry · 1 year ago
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how svt would react if their introvert s/o is socially exhausted
pairing/genres: svt x reader (gn); fluff, hurt/comfort
warnings: none? (plz lmk if i overlooked something)
author's note: for this anon! coming up with 13 different scenarios is not as easy as it may seem LOL, but it was fun doing something i haven't done before, so thank you for the request! i hope you got some rest, anon 💗
seventeen masterlist | main masterlist
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Seungcheol
After you climb into Seungcheol’s car after one of your many social events this week, you fail to control your overwhelming emotions.
Seungcheol instantly panics at your sudden crying. It started with quiet sniffles, but now you’re borderline sobbing in your hands.
He wants to pull you into his arms, but it’s not as easy to do so since you’re in his car. Instead, he rubs your thigh with one hand and your back with the other.
“Did something happen tonight?” he asks. There’s a mix of worry and anger laced in his tone. He can’t help but picture someone doing something to upset you.
You shake your head and try to calm your cries.
Truthfully, you’re just overwhelmed with responsibility. You’re exhausted with the need to put on a comradely and upstanding appearance. You’re tired of having the same mindless small talks and being over-aware of your surroundings. You just want to stay at home rather than be in public.
Once Seungcheol knows the reason behind your tears, which he had a feeling about these past few days, he drives you both home. He rubs loving circles on your thigh throughout the trip, sending you words of encouragement every now and then. He doesn’t want to attribute to your overbearing emotions, but he wants you to know he’s here for you.
The night is spent cuddling in bed and eating takeout food. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s exactly what you need. He had offered to give you alone time, but you kept him close. You may not want to be around people, but Seungcheol is an exception. He’s your comfort person, someone you don’t have to put on an appearance for. Someone who understands you and knows how to lift your mood.
When you’re on the brink of sleep, you feel Seungcheol’s lips press against the back of your head. He whispers words of encouragement and tells you he’ll always be here for you. You smile, turn in his arms so you’re facing him, and hold him tightly. He chuckles softly at your reaction and holds you as tightly as you’re holding him.
Jeonghan
Jeonghan claims to want to be an island.
He wants to be a place where people can come and go, leaving their worries behind. Except you ended up shipwrecked on the island and made a home.
Jeonghan leans against the headboard of your shared bed. Your back is pressed against his chest, legs tangled under the covers. You want to spill all your troubles to him, but after constant social interactions, you find it difficult to even express your fatigue. Instead, you both cuddle in silence. Heavy rain falls outside; the pit-pat of the droplets luring you into calmness.
Jeonghan knows something’s wrong, but he’s not quite sure what. He whispers that he’s here for you when you’re ready. You nod, pressing yourself against his warm chest more as you peer at him. He grins and captures your lips in his. The kiss is slow, lazy movements that drag for a little too long, but you don’t care. You feel like life’s been too hectic; you need it all to slow down.
Jeonghan gives your body a gentle squeeze as he pulls away. Your gaze stays on his for a few seconds before you pull him down again.
While you adore Jeonghan’s playful attitude, it’s times like these when you feel extra special. You know he’ll always be there when you need him. Whether you need to rant to him for thirty minutes, cry for fifteen, or simply be near him.
Jeonghan’s your constant.
Joshua
“Babe, are you ready to g—”
Joshua stops mid-sentence upon seeing your dejected form on the couch, shoulders slouched, and a guilty look on your face.
Today was your and Joshua’s two-year anniversary, and he had planned a night out. Normally, you would be over the moon. However, with your constant attendance at social events the past week, you’re dreading going out.
This was meant to be a special night, but you feel like you’ve ruined it. You want to power through, but your body has had enough.
When you finally disclose your troubles with Joshua, he instantly sits next to you and gives you comforting back rubs. He tells you that there’s nothing to feel guilty about. That going out isn’t needed to celebrate your anniversary. He only needs to spend time with you; he doesn’t care the how or where.
So, after a few more reassuring words, you find yourself spending the night indoors with your handsome boyfriend doing mundane activities like cooking and watching shows with little talking. However, you and Joshua are past the awkward silences. You’re able to find comfort in the quietness with him.
And when he gives you random kisses and reassuring smiles throughout the night, you know the night wasn’t ruined by staying in. You just needed him.
Jun
Jun has always been attentive to your needs. After knowing you for years, he can tell when you’re feeling off. You’ve been less talkative, less energetic, and less focused. It’s almost like you’re just a shell of yourself—not really living but just going through the motions.
While you’re away at the nth social gathering, he leaves for the grocery store to gather all the ingredients he needs for your favorite dish. It may not be much, but he just wants you to feel better even if it’s for an hour.
Your routine for coming home nowadays includes taking off your shoes, changing into something more comfortable, and then lying in bed for a few hours until you get up for food.
Jun greets you from the kitchen sweetly and you answer as nicely as you can. It’s nothing against him, but you feel too drained to do or say much. You smell something familiar that makes your stomach rumble. Though before you can question it, Jun gently informs you to get dressed and then come to the dining room.
You mumble an “okay,” then do as you’re told.
Jun’s got the table set and a small, beautiful flower arrangement in the center.
“What’s this?” you wonder.
Jun comes carrying food that makes your mouth water. You recognize it instantly.
“Just thought you deserved a nice meal,” he replies and helps you sit down, placing a kiss on your cheek before he leaves again.
You eye him as he brings in more small dishes. Everything looks incredible, and you can’t wait to indulge in his delicious cooking.
Jun gives you a smile as he sits and nods toward the food, inviting you to go first. The first bite gives you a burst of happiness; there’s something about great food that makes you feel good. Once you get some food in your stomach, Jun begins eating as well.
It’s a nice night after a tiring day. Jun talks a little, but it’s mainly filled with comfortable silence that you welcome. It’s actions like these that make you fall for him more.
Soonyoung
When Soonyoung finds out about your social exhaustion, he fears you won’t want to be around him. Is he making you feel worse? Should he give you some space?
You’re quick to deny his worries. You love his presence, but you warn you may not be as talkative as normal. Soonyoung nods in understanding—tells you he’s perfectly fine with that. He just loves being around you. Sure, he loves your voice too, but he understands needing to recharge after back-to-back social events.
When it’s time for dinner, Soonyoung hesitates to ask if you want to help. He’s not sure if that’s asking for too much, but you smile and follow him to the kitchen.
It’s not unusual to cook dinner together but the time is typically filled with chatting and instructions given by you. This time, it’s Soonyoung leading the dinner preparation. Lately, he’s been more into cooking. Granted, not all his dishes turn out that great, but every chef has to start somewhere. It’s rather nice seeing how excited he gets when executing a dish idea.
You follow his instructions well—chopping this, stirring that. Even though you’re not alone and are on your feet, your mind feels at ease. You don’t have to think about what to say next or how to respond to someone’s actions. You just need to let Soonyoung guide you.
He does so with care. Sometimes he’ll crack a few light jokes just to see the faint smile on your face.
When dinner is done and bellies are full, Soonyoung sends you off to rest while he cleans up. You feel guilty he’s done so much work tonight, but you’re grateful he’s putting in so much effort to make you happy. Next time he’s feeling down like you, you’ll make sure you put in the same effort to see him smile.
Wonwoo
Wonwoo knows the need for alone time. While he doesn’t mind being around his friends for hours, attending social events is a different story. Even if he’s with friends, there are still numerous eyes watching him and other worries he has to consider. It’s draining to constantly uphold an image.
So, when you come home from your final event, he takes no offense when you tell him you want to be alone for a while. Although he’s not sure how long “a while” is, he supports your need to recharge. He tells you that he’s here and to not be afraid to ask for anything as he’ll be there in an instant.
After thanking him and giving him a sweet kiss, you retreat to the bedroom.
Wonwoo sits at his gaming desk in the other room. His headset is on, and his fingers tap rapidly on the keyboard. He’s been playing for a little over an hour when you shuffle inside.
He pauses his game and pushes off his headset.
You’re silent as you push his chair back a bit and settle in his lap.
Wonwoo smiles and helps you get comfortable. You lean against his chest, arms wrapped around his neck tightly with your head nestled in his shoulder.
“You can play,” you mumble.
Wonwoo doesn’t reply verbally. He simply kisses the side of your head before he slips on the headset again and rolls his chair as close as he can get without squishing you.
Your eyes are closed as you lax in his arms. The sound of his keys clacking brings an odd sense of comfort to you. Although you still feel socially drained, you want to be around Wonwoo because if anyone can make you feel better, it’s him. You don’t need his words of encouragement, though you know he’d give them. You just need to know he’s here for you.
And he is.
Always.
Jihoon
There’s something so mesmerizing about the way Jihoon works. His eyebrows are slightly furrowed, indicating how much he’s focusing.
“Whatcha’ looking at, babe?” he chuckles when he catches you staring.
You peer at his eyes and smile, shaking your head. “Nothing. I just like watching you work.”
He hums and sets down his phone that he’s writing lyrics on. He pulls you closer, squeezing you and kissing your forehead.
“You doing okay?” he asks.
It’s been a few days since you confided in him about your social exhaustion. One too many social gatherings have left you with low energy. You haven’t felt like doing much, but Jihoon doesn’t seem to mind. He’s content doing different activities while in the same room.
You shrug in response, and Jihoon gives you a sad yet encouraging smile that tells you to keep going and hang in there. He understands having to do things because you have a responsibility. It’s not always easy, but you have to persevere. And some days it’s easier to; some days it’s not. However, with Jihoon, those easier days happen a lot more often.
You rest your head on Jihoon’s chest while he picks up his phone again. It’s silent except for the sounds of him pressing the keyboard. You wonder what he’s writing about, but Jihoon has never been one to lend you a sneak peek. At least, not while he’s in the process. Maybe he’ll let you review a draft, but that’s the earliest stage you get to see. Regardless, you always end up liking his results.
You don’t realize you’ve fallen asleep until Jihoon gently shakes you. He tells you he needs to use the restroom and that he’ll be right back.
Jihoon holds you closely once he gets back. He whispers a goodnight before falling into slumber as well.
Seokmin
After attending more social gatherings than you can count on your fingers, you’ve become drained. You could go without being around a single human being for a good month.
Except for one.
He lays next to you in bed, eyes darting across your features with worry.
When you ponder what’s wrong, he asks if he’s done something to upset you. You’re confused at first, but then it hits you. You’ve always inquired about his days; however, you’ve been lacking in keeping up to date with his life. You find yourself coming home, then eating and sleeping your day away. Even when you’re up, you’ve stayed to yourself.
You finally tell Seokmin that you’re socially exhausted. Just the mere thought of opening your mouth or being engaged in a conversation has you running for the hills.
Seokmin pushes aside his silent worries and tries not to put anything you’ve said to heart. You’re not upset with him—hell, you’re probably not upset with anyone but just need some quiet time. He’s felt this way before, so he understands you.
Seokmin slides off the bed and leaves the room. You watch in confusion, but he just grins and tells you not to worry.
After fifteen minutes, he comes back and leads you to the living room where he’s set up a mini spa. There’s a bubbling foot bath, a back massage cushion, and calming music playing. You can smell lavender and something else that you’re not sure of, but it makes you feel relaxed.
Seokmin spends hours tending to your body. From foot rubs to forearm massages, he takes care of your body in a way that makes you feel worshipped and loved.
You feel guilty that he’s pampering you so much, but he reassures you multiple times that all you need to do is close your eyes and relax. He has no issue doing this if it means you feel better.
Mingyu
You didn’t mean to snap at Mingyu when he asked if you knew where his wallet was. It was a simple question that had a simple answer. Yet, you replied rudely.
Mingyu had stared at you, not overly offended by your outburst since it was out of character. Rather, he grew concerned. Over the past few days, he’s noticed a decline in your attitude. He could almost see your patience decrease with each passing day. He’s aware of the social events you’ve been going to and figures you’re exhausted from those.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t—” you try to apologize a few minutes later. You’ve calmed down and have reflected on your actions.
“I’m not upset with you, but if it makes you feel better, I accept your apology,” he says and pulls you in for a hug. A hug that engulfs you with comfort from his strong and loving embrace.
You end up telling him how you’re feeling, confirming his suspicion behind your outburst.
He gives your head a gentle kiss. You know he’s not mad at you, but you’re still disappointed with yourself for how you treated him.
When it’s time for bed, Mingyu’s by your side. He offers to wash your face for you so all you have to do is relax. With a nod, he washes his hands, then begins your face routine. Although it’s a thoughtful gesture, he tries to help rinse your face as well. However, it just results in wet floors and laughter. He apologizes but you wave a hand as you smile at him. He gives you a sheepish grin as he pats your face dry.
Perhaps that didn’t go as he planned, but at least you brightened up—even if it were just a few minutes.
Minghao
Minghao sits across from you, an encouraging smile on his lips. You follow suit and copy his sitting position.
He nods once you’ve settled and takes your hands.
“Close your eyes and copy my breathing,” he instructs softly.
Your eyes flutter close, zeroing your focus on the man before you. It’s quiet at first, but then Minghao inhales loud enough for you to hear.
You breathe in.
One.
Two.
Three.
Minghao exhales slowly.
You repeat Minghao’s patterns for an unknown amount of time. You simply let him guide you through whatever meditation practices he often does, which he offered once you told him about your social fatigue.
At first, your mind is still crowded with stress and exhaustion. It’s hard to try to relax when you know you still have more events to come. Though you continue for the sake of pleasing Minghao. You appreciate his time, even if it’s not helping as much.
Minutes pass as you still follow Minghao. Gradually your mind becomes empty—only focusing on the man before you, hands still in his. You don’t even realize how light you feel until Minghao starts pulling away.
Your eyes flutter open and see his gentle smile. You don’t even need to tell him it worked since the look on your face explains it all.
Perhaps you’ll be joining in on his meditation every night from now on.
Seungkwan
Seungkwan’s normally okay with touch. He doesn’t mind the lingering hugs or handholding in public. However, you, on the other hand, have never been as open as him. It’s unusual for you to be openly affectionate. Or at least not for a long time.
Though while visiting a farmers’ market, you cling to him more the entire time. When you encounter another person and have to converse, no matter how short the interaction is, you let Seungkwan do all the talking.
Seungkwan is naturally a talker, so he doesn’t mind taking the lead; however, you don’t even make a peep. Often, you’d at least chime in your two cents, but you don’t do that. No, you stay silent by his side and simply listen.
Seungkwan pulls you aside after a while and asks if you’re okay. When you give him a sad smile and explain you’re just socially exhausted from all your events, he instantly becomes serious. He apologizes for taking you out and not catching on sooner, but you’re not offended at all. You give him a reassuring peck on the cheek and tell him you’re fine, just not up for being around crowds too long.
Seungkwan nods in understanding, then starts leading you back to the parking lot. You tell him you can stay longer, but he refuses. He wants you to be comfortable and happy. He’s seen what he wanted and is perfectly fine heading back.
Halfway home, Seungkwan glances at you in the passenger seat.
“You want some ice cream?”
He smiles knowingly. Ice cream has always been your coping food.
You grin and nod, heart warm at his sweet gesture. Ice cream may be your comfort food, but Seungkwan is your comfort person.
Vernon
Vernon loves to watch movies. So much so that he’s dedicated Friday nights to movie nights. Each night you get to experience a new film with him. Sometimes you both love it, other times you both hate it. And of course, there are times when one loves it more than the other.
After the movies, you end up dissecting it. Some people may find that boring, but you and Vernon share similar hobbies—analyzing movies being one of them.
However, with your frequent social events, you find it difficult to be excited about tonight’s movie.
The movie summary seemed interesting, but your brain feels so drained that you doubt you’ll be paying much attention. Let alone be prepared to engage in a conversation afterward.
When Vernon sits down next to you on the couch, you turn to him reluctantly.
“Do you mind if we rewatch something instead tonight?”
Vernon gives you a confused look. You normally watch new movies, not old ones. When he asks about the reason, you give a summarized answer.
Vernon’s understanding and asks what you’d like to watch. Too fatigued to even think about it, you let him decide. He ends up putting on a movie that you both really enjoyed a few weeks ago. It’s light and easy to follow, yet it had spurred you both to talk about it for hours—somehow getting into a deep conversation.
You snuggle into his side while the opening credits play. He moves one of his arms around your shoulders, rubbing it tenderly. Although it’s not a traditional movie night, you’re glad you still get to participate in it regardless.
Chan
Chan would like to seem more observant than he really is. He would like to say he knew why you were so distant or why you seemed temperamental. However, he can’t. What he does know is that you’re not as bright as you are normally. He knows everyone has their ups and downs, but your down has been occurring long enough to worry him.
He’s standing in line at the grocery store ready to check out when his phone rings. He smiles when he sees your ID; however, your response is not what he expected.
You’re crying.
You’re sniffling and hiccupping so much that it’s hard for Chan to understand what you’re saying. He coos at you, trying to calm you down so he can grasp what’s going on.
After a minute, you’re finally able to tell him you’re overwhelmed coherently. Your social battery has run out of juice and all you want to do is come home.
“I’ll be right there, baby,” he says instantly.
He leaves his cart, apologizing profusely to the worker who eyes him at the act, then beelines it to his car.
It doesn’t matter that he spent an hour picking out food. It doesn’t matter that he was waiting in line for fifteen minutes. He just needs to be there for you.
Chan stays on the line throughout the drive. He keeps you up to date on how far he is and continues to reassure you that it’ll be okay.
He meets you outside the building and engulfs you in the most secure and loving hug. He holds you against his chest, letting you wet his shirt with your tears while he rubs your back soothingly.
“How does leaving a little early sound?” he suggests.
Normally, you try to stick it out. You have a responsibility and want to fulfill your duty. However, all these non-stop events have drained you beyond recognition.
You nod and quickly text a friend at the event that you’ve started to feel sick and need to leave.
You let Chan take care of you the rest of the day. He brings you food in bed, takes care of some house chores that you planned to do, and gives you plenty of cuddles and kisses.
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a/n: i feel like i've entered a whole new world by writing a reaction/imagine 🤣 (i haven't, but im just dramatic)
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©️hongcherry // DO NOT REPOST OR MODIFY Please consider reblogging if you liked this work to show your support. Feedback/commentary is always welcomed.
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marleyybluu · 2 years ago
Text
Another Man's Treasure
Oscar Diaz x f!reader
Word count: 6.8k (I am so sorry lmao)
Warnings: 18+, shitty husband, smut, p in v, unprotected (but pls don't be this stupid), creampie, dirty talk, cheating (but is it really if your husband is an ass), flirting, fluff, love at first sight type shit, Spanish/English pet names (pretty lady, hermosa, cariño), limited use of y/n(I literally used it once) idk lmk if I missed any.
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(I only mention the first song but the other two are more for the… spicy scene😏)
——
The only escape from reality you had was the small moments of disassociation you had between the screaming of your children and the-
"Are you fucking kidding me?!"
The shouting of your overgrown child of a husband playing his stupid games on his stupid PS5 that you wanted to set on fucking fire. This is not the life you pictured as a stay-at-home mom, yes the piles of dirty laundry were expected, and the mountainous dishes in the sink but you never predicted you'd be doing this alone. Your own mother stayed at home with you and your two brothers but your dad would still help her around the house so that she got the time to kick her feet up and relax.
You never got that.
You were living with this dark cloud over your head and deep regrets in your mind, why did you marry this man? You did think he was the love of your life, three years together before you got married proved your theory but never did you think it was going to end up like this. The amount of work you did was overwhelming, just one look at the number of toys on the floor made tears sting your eyes. You were tired, exhausted, drained and absolutely depleted.
If this was a job, you'd quit, you would take your children and quit. You wanted to so badly but the small hope of him changing clung to you like a piece of lint. You sighed holding your eleven-month-old on your hip while you made him a bottle, anything to keep him from wailing in your ears-- Jesus, half the time you couldn't hear.
"Babe!"
Your eyes rolled, you loathed his voice at this point. "What?"
"Can you pass me a water bottle?"
"Get up and get it, I'm making Malakai a bottle."
He groaned. "For fuck sake, you're in the kitchen already."
Your nostrils flared, and your eye twitched. You wanted to cuss at him, shout at him until your voice box shattered but you kept whatever calm you had left and ignored him. A small hand landed on your nose and you smiled kissing the tiny palm. "I love you too bubba."
He flashed a little smile and your heart sobbed at the fact that your last baby was growing so fast, teeth already emerging from his gums when just months ago he didn't have any. You could never regret your three little creatures, you loved them dearly, so much so you were willing to put up with the man that helped you create them just so they could have a two-parent household but you didn't know how much longer you could take this.
Heavy footsteps trailed inside the kitchen, you could tell he was angry at the fact that he had to pause his little game just to grab some water. He looked over the sink, utterly disgusted by the site in front of him and instead of just keeping his mouth shut or for once volunteering to do them he decided to spit out a sentence that made you want to knock his head off with the glass bottle you were holding; "You need to wash the dishes."
Your blood was boiling, if life was a cartoon you'd have steam coming out of your ears. "Why don't you get off of the game and do them?" You bit.
He cracked open the bottle cap. "Hey, I'm the one that works all week, you just stay home and do nothing."
Nothing? NOTHING!?
That was it.
That was the tip of the iceberg.
Your shoulders dropped and he left the kitchen, there was that ringing in your ears again that came and went every time you zoned out. Ever since you got married you'd felt nothing but unappreciated by him, you quit your job to stay home with your children and not even a thank you, you made sure he had a good meal when he went to work and all you got in return was an "it was okay." And the disgustingly dirty dish tossed right in the sink you'd just emptied. You were at the end of your rope.
You held back your tears and lightly kissed your son on his head handing him his bottle and putting him on a beam bag so he could lay down and drink. You trotted upstairs to check in on your oldest twins who were in their room colouring and getting along for once. Then you headed to the bathroom locking the door behind you, your body sliding down to the floor, you curled up in a ball burying your head between your knees you let out a long and heavy sigh before your river of tears took over.
A cry session your body and mind were so used to. You wailed into the void, muffling your weeps so that your children wouldn't hear you and come asking what was wrong, a question you couldn't answer without them turning on their father and you didn't want to ruin that relationship they had with him.
You were just so tired.
--
As night fell you remained mute when it came to your husband, whatever he had to say you didn't respond to, you were just happy that it was Sunday and soon he'd be out of your face for a few hours.
With the kids all asleep you were in the kitchen on FaceTime with your older brother. "The kids are great, they're sleeping." You conversed.
"And how have you been?"
There was no hiding how you felt when it came to your siblings, you were the baby and the only girl so when you were hurt they knew and they'd do whatever they could to fix it. "I'm okay... I'll be okay." You reassured. He was the only one who knew some small details about what you were going through and you begged him not to say anything not even to your mother until you figured out how to deal with everything yourself.
"Hey, listen, Jordyn is going on vacation next week, she's hitting Fiji, and I think you should go with her."
You squinched up your face, you didn't have a problem with your brother's wife, always so thankful for the sister you never got but what about your kids? Could you even trust that man to take over your duties even for a day?
As if he read your mind he continued. "I mean it'll be summer break next week, and they can stay by me if you want. I just, I really think you need time away from life. I want to see my little sister happy."
You pouted, it really touched your heart how concerned he was. A vacation would be wonderful, it was all you could dream of after the kids were born, you loved them but you just wanted to be by yourself.
"I'll think about it."
"Well, don't think too hard." He joked. "Whatever. I gotta get their lunches together, I'll call you when I make my decision."
"Sounds good, night."
"Night."
The call ended and you finished packing the twins' lunch placing the bags on the only empty spot on the counter. You huffed at the dishes and your husband's words replayed in your head. Nothing. You do absolutely nothing.
The longer you stared a vengeful plan began to brew. You were about to show him what doing nothing meant.
--
You decided you were going on that trip, Jordyn was excited and your brother was happy with your choice. The week flew by quickly, you kept up your normal appearance of keeping the house clean and to your husband's liking and by each day you grew more distant from him not like he cared in the first place.
On the last day of school you explained to the twins that you were taking a trip with Aunty Jordyn and they, unfortunately, couldn't come but they'd be staying with their uncle and they'd loved that man to death so they were excited either way. Your house was a mess and for once you smiled at it, you'd been letting everything pile up for the last two days, packing the clean clothes they did have in advance. The only explanation you gave your husband was that they were all staying by your brother for the week but you didn't mention that you weren't coming back.
You were leaving tonight and there would be no stopping you. You loaded the van with their stuff and yours and hollered for them to get their little butts in the car. "Last one in the car has stinky feet!" You laughed at the building volume of stomping feet coming across the hall and down the stairs, your twins were out and your youngest sat on your hip giggling at their antics. You happily wrote a short note.
Bye.
That's it.
You showered your baby in kisses and grabbed your keys before heading out the door, you locked it and made your way to the car, buckling in your baby and making sure the other two were in securely. You closed the door and first time in a long time you felt a weight off your shoulders, you smiled in satisfaction at how you left the house knowing you were not going to answer a single phone call from that man.
--
Jordyn squealed. "Ugh! I am so excited I don't even know what to do with myself!" You laughed at her enthusiasm as you put your hair up in a ponytail. It was day 2 of your trip and you were living life, you couldn't remember the last time you felt this relaxed. Now, of course, you missed your children it'd been the longest you'd ever been apart from them so you were a bit clingy with the calls but it was all understandable.
You two were hitting the beach today and you were a bit nervous, nobody had seen your body in almost a year not even your husband but Jordyn had persuaded you to find your behind in a two-piece bikini and you argued that you'd wear it as long as you could wear a cover-up so it was a deal. You looked yourself over in the mirror, you felt oddly confident. You looked fucking good. Three kids did your body right.
"You sure you want that cover-up?" She teased watching you admire yourself. "Hmm," You angled your lower half so you could check out your bum, how plump it had become over the years. "Maybe not."
She winked. "That's my girl."
You two grabbed what you needed and headed down to the beach which was right in front of the hotel you were staying at. The slight wind brushed against the water sending a cool and comforting breeze your way, your ears wiggled at the sound of the waves, and the giggles of other vacationers enjoying their time like you were.
The cushiony sand had greeted your toes after overflowing onto your sandals. You two travelled until you found a decent spot, it was close to the bar and the body of water. You set up your area as best as you could but you were in a battle with the beach umbrella Jordyn insisted on bringing. She watched with her hand covering her mouth to camouflage her laughter. "Okay, you know what, I'll handle this and you go handle us some drinks."
You childishly stuck out your tongue and strutted your way over to the bar, you hopped on an available stool. The bartender noticed you asking for you to just give him a minute. "No worries." You responded. You went on your phone and checked the many pictures your brother sent of your children, you smiled and a bit of sadness tugged at your heart. You missed your babies dearly.
The number of messages went up and it could only be one person. You promised you wouldn't look but you just had to, you swiped and tapped on your husband's name.
Where the fuck are you!?
The house is a fucking mess!
I'm not cleaning up, I hope you know that.
Baby, come on, we can work this out. Please.
You scoffed at the last message and put your phone down casually being greeted by the bartender who watched your various emotions while you went through your phone. "Everything's okay?"
Oh. Wow.
He presented a sweet smile, your eyes slightly widening at the sight in front of you. He was handsome, scratch that, he was fine as fuck. The shaved head didn't usually work on a lot of men but it did him justice, the scattered tattoos on his pretty and tanned skin, his broad shoulders that looked like they were made for legs to be hooked on and not to mention his big arms that looked like they could hold you snug and tight all through the night.
"Uh, yeah, everything's... everything is good." You stammered, a queasy feeling crept through you as it settled in your lower stomach. Butterflies? But you couldn't even remember what that felt like in order to come to that conclusion.
"Good to know. What can I get you, ma?"
You shuddered at his voice. He could talk to you all day.
"One Long Island, and one Piña Colada please."
He nodded. "Starting off slow I see." He chuckled. "Eh, we're on vacation, gotta soak it all up before we go back."
"I see," He multitasked making your drinks and conversing. "And when does the pretty lady go back?"
You blushed, should you even tell this literal stranger when you're actually leaving? But he felt... comfortable, easy to talk to and it's not like you'd ever see him again. "End of the week."
"Oh, you have plenty of time to get shit-faced." He encouraged. He'd finished your order and placed the liquored-down drinks in front of you. "Don't worry about paying yeah? It's on the house. Enjoy your vacation pretty lady."
"Y/n... you could just call me Y/n."
Not like you wanted him to, pretty lady was working just fine
"Nice to meet you. Oscar... Diaz." He winked. "Thanks, for the drinks."
"Anytime, pretty lady."
Your legs felt wonky as you walked away, and your breathing quickened. You did your best to walk back to Jordyn without looking back, if you did you were pretty sure you'd fall, just clumsy as fuck. "Girl, that man was watching you walk away." She whispered. "Stop." You poked, shoving her drink toward her. "Oh please, his eyes were on you." Jordyn gazed over to the bar, "He's still staring."
You casually whipped your head around and sucked your teeth when you noticed he wasn't. You glared at her. She snickered taking a sip from her Long Island. "Makes good drinks too."
You sighed, "Shut up."
The topic was silenced, you downed a few more drinks but sent Jordyn to get them instead while you swam around in the cooling water, floating around enjoying the peace the water brought you. But you couldn't help but occasionally look over to the bar. Oscar Diaz... nice name. Nice face. Cute little moustache that sat above his lips and a goatee that sat below. Pretty rosy pink lips...
Your eyes darted away. You're married.
Are you though?
You swam back up to the beach, it was beginning to get dark and the patrons on the beach became scarce. You wrapped yourself in a towel and collected anything Jordyn hadn't packed up yet. "You want one more drink before they close up? Maybe your new friend will allow it." She teased. You took off your flip-flop and threw it at her but your reaction only made her laugh.
A familiar voice was heard behind you. "So she's beautiful and she's got good aim, better watch out." 
You quietly gasped. "Hi... Oscar."
"Hey, uhm, listen I own a club not too far from here and you know it's a decent hangout for the locals... and the visitors." He winked. "Wanted to know if you two would like to come check it out?"
You fought back a smile. "We could try." You answer without even thinking. "I'll take that," He reached into his pocket handing you a folded piece of paper, you assumed had the address of the place he owned. Your fingers brushed against his, prickles felt like they were forming on your skin and those weird feelings returned in your lower stomach.
He sent you another wink and headed back off to the bar to close up.
--
Of course, Jordyn was down to go. You groaned internally as you two pulled up to a crowded place, looking up at the illuminated sign reading Cloud 9. Hmm, cute. You pulled down your dress as it rose up with each step, your heels clicking against the cold ground, the music booming so loud you could feel your body vibrating the closer you got to the entrance, flashing lights of different colours beamed through the door every time it opened blinding whoever entered. "Where's your friend?" Jordyn asked. "Have patience, I just told him we got here."
"Mhm." She sassed. Your heart thumped in your ears, it pounded against your chest. What were you doing? It was a question you asked yourself from the moment you got back to your room and began to get ready for tonight. You shook off your thoughts and shifted your eyes over to a black door that slowly began to open. "Hey, over here." Oscar waved you two over and you followed. "What's going on, pretty lady?... And pretty lady's friend."
Jordyn nodded at him as a silent greeting, she was just here to observe your anxious behaviour for her entertainment. "Come on," You followed him through a dimly lit hallway and up a flight of stairs, your nerves building and sudden regret forming in your bones until you entered a brighter atmosphere, the loud music returning to your eardrums. He had led you two to a section that only had a few people, you could assume it was the VIP section.
"Anything you two want to drink just let me know and I got you."
Jordyn raised her eyebrows at the tempting bottle of unopened champagne sitting in a bucket of ice. Oscar chuckled granting her permission to open it, she shimmied her shoulders in excitement and got to work. You shook your head at her, you travelled over to the balcony and looks down at all the patrons having the time of their lives, a few familiar faces from the resort and others that weren't recognizable which you could only assume were locals.
Oscar found his place beside you and nudged your shoulder with his. "You want anything to drink?"
"No, not yet, I'm good."
He slowly nodded. "So, what are you doing in Fiji? Besides vacationing."
You huffed, "I just needed time to myself... to get away from shit."
"I hear that." You could just feel those sweet and curious brown eyes boring into the side of your head, you poked the inside of your cheek with your tongue and looked down at your shoes, just anything to not make eye contact with him. You were shy, you were never shy not even with your husband when you first met him. It's like this was a new feeling, you were queasy and nervous and it honestly felt good in a weird way-- it felt good to not be comfortable, to get all flustered over someone like a schoolgirl crush.
"You really own this place?"
He scrunched up his face. "Half own, I guess. My brother and I came here for an escape just like you and we ended up staying. Now, we own Cloud Nine and I work down at the resort once in a while."
"Oh, you're a busy man."
"I try to be." Oscar chuckled. He was so easy to talk to, why was he so easy to talk to?
You found yourself moving a bit closer. "What were you trying to escape from?"
"Life. I wasn't happy where I was living and I wanted better but... given the circumstances, we just couldn't get it. So I threw a dart on a map, so to speak, it landed on Fiji and we've been here ever since."
"Where are you from then?"
"Originally born in Mexico, we moved to LA, and then out here."
"Would you ever go back to the States?" You asked finally looking up at him knowing he hadn't taken his eyes off you all night. He leaned forward, officially entering your bubble. "If I had a good enough reason... yeah."
You looked up at him through your lashes and softly smiled, meanwhile, Jordyn sat on the couch sipping and shaking her head at the sight in front of her. She would playfully scold you in the morning but tonight she'd let you have your harmless fun.
As the party went on you were getting a bit bored being upstairs so you grabbed your girl and headed downstairs to where the crowd was and of course Oscar was right behind you, he felt a sense of protection over you two tonight given this was your first time out here and inside his establishment. You had found enough confidence to start dancing around, a little two-step from left to right to get you going, but soon the constant flow of drinks Jordyn handed you helped you loosen out of that as well.
The DJ was beginning to play all the oldies, and that was your specialty. Oscar watched in adornment as you killed every lyric, every adlib and every beat to whichever song came on. It had transitioned from a bit of Hip-hop to something a lot slower.
  "Right now, we're gonna slow it down a bit, so grab your lovers and take your time."
The lights changed to blue and a recognizable first note had you close your eyes.
Mmm ooooh, my my my my my my my babyyy ouuuuuu
Jordyn had already found herself dancing with a random woman. She looked widened her eyes at you and quickly flicked them over to Oscar, trying her best to encourage you to make your move. But he was faster. You felt yourself being pulled into his warm embrace, his strong chest against your exposed back, his hands carefully snaking around your waist as if he was worried about you rejecting his touch but you gladly welcomed it.
Melting into his hold you two swayed side to side, he leaned down comfortably nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. You were lost in the vibes of Keith Sweat's Right and a Wrong Way. You reached back hooking your arm around his neck lightly scratching his scalp with your nails. "You smell so good, mamita." He whispered, it was a miracle that you heard him. Your lips parted slightly as you felt his warm breath tickle your skin. His swift hands ran up your sides resting right under your breasts and gliding back down to your hips.
A thumping began between your thighs, now that was something you hadn't felt in a long time. You put that feeling to the side no matter how hard it was to do so. The rest of the night it felt like all the songs were targeted for just you two, you hadn't eased up on him once-- always in close proximity to him. He touched you in simple ways, ways you hadn't been touched in almost a year.
It was getting super late, almost three in the morning and you couldn't recall the last time you were out like this, it'd give you hell when you woke up but it was worth it. You and Jordyn rode back to the resort with Oscar, she exited the car first thanking him for the night out and wobbling her way inside. You giggled watching her walk away, "I should get in there before she tries the key on the wrong room."
But you didn't want to leave him.
And he didn't want to leave you.
"Thanks for tonight, I had a lot of fun."
"No problem, anything to help a pretty lady escape." He bit his lip. "What are your plans for tomorrow?"
"Recovering," You laughed, "But other than that nothing."
"Can I see you again?"
You gulped and nodded. "Mhm."
He laid out his palm your eyebrows furrowed as you rested yours on top of his, he brought the back of your hand to his lips and placed such a gentle kiss on your skin. "Goodnight, mamita."
You wanted to scream. You left the car putting a little swing in your hips as you walked away, you looked over your shoulder and sent him a cute little wave before disappearing behind the doors.
— —
And that's how you spent the rest of your trip, shamelessly flirting with Oscar. You got to know each other a lot more, when you weren't spending time with Jordyn you were with him. Giggling like an airhead and blushing red like Rudolph's nose.
Jordyn constantly teases you about the crush you'd seem to quickly develop.
"Is this stupid?" You ask shoving your face in the pillow. This all felt too good to be fucking true, a guy that you met only four days ago was treating you so much better than the man you married four years ago. Oscar had flowers for you at the front desk of the resort every morning and sent you the sweetest messages throughout the day about how he was thinking of you, how he caught a glimpse of you today and you looked stunning, calling you the prettiest woman he'd ever seen step on this island.
You convinced yourself they were all lies, sugarcoating you like he probably did every woman but who were you fooling? Certainly not yourself and certainly not Jordyn.
"It's not."
"I'm married." You argued tiredly to which she fake yawned. "I don't see a ring on that finger and I don't see that man treating you any better than Oscar has. Just saying."
The fingers on your right hand brushed your vacant ring finger, you'd taken it off the minute you got on the plane, you didn't want to be reminded of him on this trip at all and yet there was that piece in the back of your mind that reached out to him. Checking his messages once in a while but never responding, he was giving you the attention you wanted but it didn't feel right.
The fact that you had to spontaneously leave to get even a fraction of what you were asking for was bullshit. Downright bullshit.
You groaned sitting up the pads of your fingers now rubbing your temples, tired and stressed. The trip was almost over and you dreaded going back to that house that was no longer a home. He'd sent you pictures that he'd finally cleaned up but you had a feeling once you returned home things would go back to the way they were and you did not want that.
"I think your brother would agree with me, you've smiled more in these past few days than I've seen back home, I mean you two are always so distant when you come over. And don't think I don't hear your rants when you and your brother are on the phone. Now I don't condone cheating but, hey, I didn't see shit."
You sighed checking your phone for any recent texts from your husband but Jordyn caught wind of what you were doing and snatched your device. "Enough with him. Flirt and have fun before you have to go back to normalcy."
You heard your phone buzz in her hand, she looked at the message for you. "Speaking of, someone is downstairs."
You felt nauseous. "Where are you two going anyway?"
"Down to the beach, said he has to restock the bar... and I wanted to spend time with him so I offered to help."
"Mhm." She winked. You grabbed your phone back from her grasp and told her you'd be back soon. You left your room, entered the elevator and headed downstairs where Oscar was happily waiting for you. "Hola querida." He become more comfortable speaking Spanish around you, especially when he noticed how the little nicknames got a reaction out of you.
"Hi," Oscar noticed the shaky tone in your response and made note of it You had comfortably slipped your hand inside his, he immediately hooked his fingers in the spaces of yours. Like he was your puzzle piece.
You two headed down to the decent-sized Hut, your eyes widened at the number of boxes sitting on the sand. "Don't worry, I got the heavy bottles, you just get the small ones." He reassured pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You loved those, so innocent and sweet, although you wish sometimes he'd kiss you on your lips or you had to courage to kiss his. "Think I can't handle the big boxes?" You scoffed walking inside after him.
"I think you can, I just don't think my pretty lady needs to."
My pretty lady.
ugh!
With music playing in the background you two got to work, "Do you still think about running your own restaurant?" You asked sparking a conversation, you squatted down to the lower shelves and propped the glass bottles in an organized fashion, eyes tearing through the material of your sundress and you could feel them. "I do, yeah. Why?"
You bit your lip. "Would it still be down here?"
There was a beat of silence. "Most likely."
Another pause in the moment aside from your soft humming to the music. "You excited to see your kids?" He asked. You smiled at the mere thought of them. "I am. My three little headaches." Oscar found himself next to you, leaning against the counter, you stopped your movements and looked up-- he had one arm folded over the other and a bit of a scowl on his face.
"What?" You innocently question standing up to match his eye line, well more-like chest line. "Nothing, just trying to take my time to remember this face." He reached for your cheek, his fingers ghosting your flesh. "You flirt like this with all the girls here?"
A question that was supposed to come out jokingly but you were a bit serious. "Nah," You squinted at him watching his lips press together, his chest stuttering as he held back a laugh. "You asshole, I knew it." A dramatic hand to your heart as you playfully pouted at him and fake cried. Oscar's arms enveloped you in their warmth, you attempted to push him off but it was no use, your feet suddenly off the ground, you squealed and giggled as he switched positions with you plopping you on top of the counter.
He placed his palms flat on the side of your thighs while he was positioned comfortably between them. "To be fair, hermosa, it is kind of my job. But believe me when I say I've never spent any time with them. And I've definitely never brought them back here after hours." His thumb and pointer finger pinching your chin. "Just you, princesa."
You melted, your whole body could be seen physically slumping in his hold. His eyes sparkled while he looked at you, the crinkles in his eyes appearing as he smirked. Before you could comprehend anything his lips brushed yours, your head suddenly becoming foggy with the inappropriate images of him that you'd conjured up these past few days.
His nimble fingers danced along the hem of your dress, a rush of heat passing over you as he hiked it up further exposing more of your flesh.
This was no longer a want... it was a need.
Your hands landed right under his jaw as you pulled him in crashing your lips onto his and he happily reciprocated your energy, his hands wandered up to your hips tugging you closer to him as if it were possible. Your lips moved as one, tongues passing by in the heat of the moment, the only thing on your mind was him and you wanted it to remain so for as long as possible.
Tingles scattered around your body, both of you flushed with lust and arousal. Your hands travelled to the bottom of his shirt quietly begging for him to take it off, you needed to feel his skin, thankfully he got the message-- pulling away for a brief moment to remove his top. Your eyes glazed over his lightly tanned skin, little scars here and there you can only presume he earned before he got here.
You smiled at the strewed ink on his torso, chest and ribs. "What are you thinking about?" He inquired. You looked back up into his brown iris'. "I wish I had met you first." You mumbled drawing him back down, this kiss was a lot more passionate and slow unlike the first.
Oscar's hands gently tugged at the neckline of your dress, your breasts spilling over and his calloused hands finding them. You softly moaned against his lips, your nipples hardening from the cool breeze and his fondling. He pinched and rolled them between his fingers, your head tipped back and his teeth nipped at the column of your neck.
You were forming a small pool in your panties at his teasing. His tongue grazed your neck continuously licking and sucking a specific spot that was getting a squirming reaction out of you. You felt his devilish smile, he knew what he was doing to you and he liked it.
His hands moved from torturing your swollen breasts back down to your thighs shoving your dress up until your little black panties were on display. You sat on the edge of the counter making it a bit easier for him to remove them, the cool air hitting your soaking slit.
"Touch me, please, touch me." You whined not caring about how desperate and needy you sounded. Oscar listened to your pleas and dipped one hand between your legs, his fingers quickly finding your slick folds. You shuddered as he glided two fingers up and down, dipping them inside you once in a while.
You were soaking, you were throbbing, and you just wanted him inside you where he fucking belonged. He slowly plunged his fingers inside, you clench around them happy to have something pleasuring you. Your eyes are closed and your legs spread further for him, nails digging into his shoulder blade hopefully leaving little indents.
He pumped them in and out of you with the squidgy noise of your wetness to follow. "Yes... oh yes, like that."
Oscar felt himself twitch under his boxers using his other hand to undo his belt and pulled down his materials. His dick is hard and his tip a rosy pink turning cherry red oozing with a bit of cream, his hips buckled once his hand brushed over it-- equally as desperate as you were. Your erotic moans were like music to his ears, so much sexier than he could've pictured. You whined once he removed them your hole flexing around nothing as you caught your breath.
Oscar hooked your legs over his arms spreading you to his desire, you reached between your bodies firmly (but not too tight) grasping his length and guiding it to your entrance, his swollen head prodding inside you as the rest of him followed.
Your jaw slacked at the feeling of him deliciously stretching you out, he was so thick and it felt so nice. Oscar croaked out a moan while burying himself deep inside your warmth-- coating his dick with your sticky walls, so slick and welcoming that he didn't want to move.
You caressed the back of his neck as he pressed another kiss on yours, trailing it up the side and finally landing on your mouth. You giggled into the kiss, Oscar pulled back with a questioning look. "I can't tell the last time I felt like this." You mumbled under your breath but he heard you. He didn't want you to leave, hell if you didn't have kids he'd probably try to convince you to move out here with him.
He didn't say anything in response just pulled out and pushed back in. "Fuck." You both moaned.
His head dipped back down, nibbling on your sweet skin.
You whimpered through every tantalizing stroke he gave you, his tip poking right at your hot spot and you knew you wouldn't last. "You feel so good!" A sentence broken by little gasps. Oscar grunted, violently gripping your thighs as he pounded you, pulling the filthiest sounds from your pretty little throat. So loud and erotic he was sure they could hear you back at the resort.
Your eyes squeeze in absolute bliss, your head hazy from the constant pleasure you received, quickly feeling a sensation in your lower belly a wave of heat threatening to take over. Your palm lay flat on his back while the other gripped the edge of the counter.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Oscar!"
He lifted you off the counter a bit, relentlessly slamming into you now. Your high getting closer and closer. "I can, shit, I can feel you mamita. So fucking tight."
Your toes curled and your eyes rolled. "Baby, ohhh, I need to..."
Oscar smiled. "You wanna cum for me, baby? Come, mi amor, all of it."
His words tipped you off the edge, your back arched and your body trembled from the shockwaves of your orgasm, he held you closely revelling in your pulsating pussy dripping down his shaft.
He quickly brought you off the countertop, your wobbly legs barely holding your support. He turned you around, you barely recovered from the first position.
You were sensitive and extra wet just how he wanted you. You flinched when he pressed himself against your entrance once again, pushing in ever so carefully. "Fuck... you."
He laughed menacingly, his hands squeezing your hips. "That's what I'm doin' pretty lady."
You wanted to give him a smart-ass answer but it was cut short when he began to move. Your nipples were hard against the surface, you rested your head down and whined. "So fucking good."
"Yeah?" He chuckled spanking you. He was enjoying the pornographic sounds that you provided, all going straight to his dick.
He wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you up against him, back pressed on his chest, his warm breath in your ear. "Can't get enough of you I swear." He admitted.
He poked and prodded against that familiar spot, tears of overwhelming pleasure threatening to spill when he pinched your nipple. "Fuck! I'm gonna miss you, so fucking much."
"You gonna think about me?"
"Yes! Oh!"
You felt him twitch inside you, you smiled egging him on. "I won't stop thinking about you, when I touch myself I'll picture it's you-"
"Fuck, cariño,"
"Ou, you're the only one I want inside me."
You convulsed around him feeling another orgasm quickly building and getting ready to fall apart. A few more thrusts and Oscar held himself still inside you, your body shivering at the warm cream he just spilled inside you. His high triggering yours. You reached behind hooking your arm around his now sweaty neck.
The sound of the wind against the water and the waves crashing describe exactly how you felt right now.
"Oh... my god." You said breathlessly.
"You're okay?" He asked with a laugh. You giggled tipping your head back on to his shoulder. "Better than okay."
He sighed kissing your back. "I meant it..." You said.
"What?"
"I'm gonna miss you."
He smiled sheepishly. "I'll miss you too."
--
Those moments replayed in your head constantly, it was the only thing getting you by once you came back home. You two still talked every day, called and FaceTimed but it wasn't enough. You would stare at the prices of tickets and sigh, you couldn't afford to go back right now.
Your life was the same, unloved and unappreciated, despite the embarrassingly desperate messages your husband had sent when you were on your trip. You stared at another pile of dishes, your shoulder sinking with exhaustion. With your two older ones at school and your son almost an hour into his nap you decided to just relax. You clicked on Netflix and attempted to finish Bridgerton's, Queen Charlotte.
Your eyelids felt heavy, sleep threatened to take over but the doorbell had them shoot open. It wasn't just one ring it was multiple and it was annoying so you assumed it was your brother. You groaned trudging to the door. You swung it open aggressively, ready to give him a piece of your mind. "You're going to wake-"
There he was. Standing in front of you, on your doorstep... at your house. "O-Oscar..." You poked his chest to see if he was really there. "Said I'd come back when I have a good reason." Your eyes softened, your arms reaching for him. His lips immediately find yours. "I," kiss, "fucking," kiss "missed you."
Your legs wrapped around his waist as he stepped inside closing the door. He carried you over to the couch and plopped you on the cushions. You laughed, your mood immediately changing with him around. "Jordyn told you where I lived didn't she?"
He nodded. You rolled your eyes. "Of course."
"Not happy to see me?"
You pulled him down for another kiss.
"Beyond happy."
I was going to wait until the weekend to post this but I am a little too excited to get this out.
Shoutout to my girl @darqchilddaydreamz for her input on a few things and her encouragement. Holdin it down ✊🏾
if you liked this fic feel free to like this fic, comments and reblogs are appreciated.
Alsooooo thank you for 800 followers, yall cool as fuck thanks for fucking with me and my antics.
Peace and love see you in the next one✌🏾
🏷: @darqchilddaydreamz @skyesthebomb @realhotgurlshit
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songbirdseung · 8 months ago
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dwba / yang jungwon
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synopsis: you keep listening to the same song, making your boyfriend very concerned and worried that you are trying to say something, jungwon version for @laylasbunbunny
pairing: yang jungwon x reader, established relationship
warnings: a little angsty, crying, relationship troubles, hint of breakups
wc: 948
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Everyone perceived you and Jungwon to be the picture-perfect couple, bound to last forever, and a match made in heaven. With the way you two handle issues and conflict maturely and go through life, hand in hand, side by side. It was weird for the rest of Enhypen to walk into the dorm, being met with a stressed Jungwon sitting on the couch with his face in his hands.
A week ago, you and Jungwon fell into a misunderstanding. Unlike solving it like you both usually do, this time; things were just to heavy and needed to be thought upon before making any decisions that you both might regret.
By doing so, in your self loathing time; you were indulging and basking in the moment that you don't get to experience so often, you play music to accompany you, alongside with your tears and dirty tissues.
"The lyrics are 'So, I take my time to self-soothe', not self loathing"
Placing down a new tissue box for you, your sister also offers a shoulder to cry on. The assumption that you had of you crying silently was wrong, since your sister told you how she could hear you sobbing from outside the house. An exaggeration just to hopefully get you to laugh.
While it did get you to chuckle, a few block down, your boyfriend was not.
Jungwon just got back from a busy day filled with dance practices, recordings, and content filming. But not having to be in contact with you for over a week, distracted his senses and or mind to even realize that his body was in total fatigue.
Now, sitting on the couch, regretting the decision to allow you both to sit this one out and to not fix it right away. Slumping on the couch, thinking why on earth did he agree that it was the right idea to let you out of his sight. Sluggishly reaching over to his bag and fetching out his phone to open the contacts, he's hesitant to call you.
After a few minutes, he still in the same position, has yet to call you or even get up to wash up and rest to repeat the same day tomorrow.
His thoughts were interrupted for a second when he heard the door open, but immediately went back to the depths of regret. His members slowly make their way inside, spotting the young one.
"Jungwon? you good?" Jake inquires as he steps closer to the couch, standing behind Jungwon, patting him on the head.
"Does he look good to you, idiot?" A chuckle follows after Jay replies to Jake's not so smart question. The rest follows pursuit except Jungwon. Once they realized that, they finally understood that this was serious. They all huddle up on the couch and try to talk some sense into their leader.
Soon later, with enough convincing, Jungwon is up and running to your place. Flowers in hand with your favorite snacks in a bag. Eventually with successfully saving himself from tripping over things, he's at your door, hopeful that he'll succeed again with fixing things with you.
He knocks on the door and your sister opens the door. She offers him a small smile, a hug with a good luck. Giving him a little more confidence that he needed. He makes his way upstairs to your room and from outside the door, he hears your sweet voice that he missed so much. He loves to hear you sing and he always jokes how you could steal his job. But this time, he isn't that pleased to hear you sing lyrics that are making him question that you hate him at this point.
He stands there, in denial. As he hears you sing the next song. He's thinking how the titles and message of the songs casually just goes along with the predicament you both are in with your relationship.
I don't wanna fuck with your head It's breaking my heart To keep breaking yours again
Taking in a deep breath and exhaling, he takes hold of the doorknob and slowly opens the door. Being met by your back facing him as you sit on your bed with your speaker blasting 'Don't Want to Break up Again' by Ariana Grande. You don't even notice the new presence in your room as you switch the song after it ended.
If the sun refused to shine Baby, would I still be your lover? Would you want me there?
Again, he loves you singing but as you sing along to the lyrics with tears streaming down your face, he's not the happiest guy right now.
"Yes, you'll always be my lover" finally mustered up the courage to interrupt your mini concert to your plushies. You wipe your eyes, making sure that you're not hallucinating and Jungwon was actually sitting down next to you. "Are your songs trying to tell me something?" He jokes while cleaning up your face, wiping away the tears that can't seem to stop from flowing out your eyes.
After calming down a little, you explain how you were just in your feels and wanted to sing the pain away. Jungwon nods but couldn't help to call you dramatic in a joking manner, no harm intended whatsoever. You nudge him and rebuttal.
"For a second there I thought you were gonna break up with me"
Taken a back, you start asking him why you would ever end the relationship that you loved being in for almost 2 years now. He replies with how your music choice is making uneasy.
"Oh, you don't listen to sad songs when you're sad?"
"No, cause Ni-ki would make fun of me"
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writemekpop · 10 months ago
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Cold Feet | Mark Lee
Summary: With just one week to go, you call off the wedding. You’ve just realised that you know nothing about your fiancé.
Genre: Angst, established relationship AU
Word count: >1k
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KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
You stood outside Mark’s door, shivering. Icy rain was slamming down, drenching you, but you didn’t care. You just needed to see your boyfriend.
“Come on, open up!” you cried, banging on the door again.
The door swung open. Mark was standing there, in nothing but his grey pyjama bottoms, rubbing his eyes sleepily. His dark hair was splayed out in all directions.
“Y/n, whatchu doin’ out here? It’s three in the morning.” Mark said. He stood to the side, ushering you in. “Come inside, you’re soaked.”
You shook your head, ignoring his outstretched hand. “We’re getting married in a week!”
Mark smiled. “I know. Baby, wedding planning is all we’ve been doin’ for months.”
“No, you don’t get it. Mark, we’re supposed to be getting married, but… but… we can’t!”
Mark frowned. “Why not?”
“Because we don’t know anything about each other!” Tears slid down your cheeks, mixing with the rain.
“What are you talking about, Y/n? Of course we do,” he said softly.
“No we don’t. We’re making a huge mistake!”
“Please just come inside so we can talk about this properly.”
You followed Mark into his apartment. He handed you a towel and one of his spiderman T shirts.
“Put this on, you’re gonna catch a cold,” he said.
Your heart twinged at Mark’s kindness. You got changed out of your clothes and sat on Mark’s bed, wearing his T shirt that smelled just like him. You gulped.
Mark rubbed his neck. “Y/n, this is just pre-wedding jitters. Freaking out in the middle of the night ain’t helpin’ anyone. Can we just talk in the morning?”
“You’re not listening to me! Mark, we’ve been dating for a year, but we haven’t talked about anything important. I mean… where are we going to live once we get married? One of us is going to have to give up their apartment, but who?”
Mark stared at you in silence. You went on.
“We’ve never talked about whether we want kids, or if we’re gonna send them to private school or not. Whose family are we going to visit on the holidays? And what about money?”
Mark shook his head. “Y/n, I don’t care about all that stuff. All I know is that I love you, and that I wanna be with you for the rest of my life.”
Mark touched your arm gently, but you shook him off.
“All that stuff, Mark, is our entire life,” you spat. “Love isn’t enough.”
The temperature in the room fell to zero.
“Do you not love me?” Mark asked, voice small.
“I do, but Mark, what even is love? We don’t live together, we’ve never been on holiday together, heck, we’ve never even had sex!”
Mark gulped; eyes glued to the floor. “I thought you said you were okay with that…”
You sighed. “Mark, don’t you get it? We’re rushing into this lifelong commitment when we’ve barely thought it though. I should never have… said yes when you proposed.”
“Are you saying you don’t wanna marry me next week?”
You let out a shaky breath. “Not next week… but maybe someday?”
“I have never doubted us, Y/n.” Mark stood up, stuffed a pillow under his arm, and walked towards the door.
“Where are you going?”
“To sleep on the couch,” Mark said, rubbing his eyes.
“But this is your apartment…” you said.
Mark groaned. “Fine, you sleep on the couch! Actually, why don’t you go back to your own apartment!”
“Mark, I-“
“Why are you sabotaging our wedding like this, Y/n? You should have talked to me earlier, instead of waiting till the week before our wedding. You’re being so… selfish.”
“I’m sorry,” you said, tears beginning to fall again.
“Go home, Y/n. I can’t be with you right now.” Mark pushed you out of the bedroom and slammed the door shut. The lock clicked.
You looked around Mark’s living room. There were pictures of the two of you on every surface. You felt sick.
You sobbed the entire way home in the taxi. When you got inside your apartment, you flopped onto your bed, not even bothering to take off your shoes. You had just pushed a good man away. What had you done?
---
The next morning you were awoken by a thumping on the door. You jolted out of bed, head throbbing from crying so much.
Could it be…? You tried not to let yourself hope as you ran to the door and pulled it open.
Yes! It was Mark, looking adorable and tired with his circle glasses and stubble.
“Mark, what are you doing here?”
“I think we should move into your apartment,” Mark said.
You raised your brows. “What?”
“Yours is bigger, so it just makes sense,” Mark said. “And I do want kids, but no more than three. I’d wanna send them to private school if we can afford it. Let’s go to your folks for the holidays, and for money? We can figure it out together.”
You sighed. “Oh, Marky.”
Mark took your hand in his and pressed a kiss to your palm. “I’m sorry for gettin’ mad last night, Y/n. Everything you said was totally reasonable. We… need to talk about this kinda stuff before rushing into anything.”
You sighed.
Mark looked at you, brown eyes glassy. “We can postpone the wedding if that’s what you want. We don’t even have to get married. But, please, I need you in my life.”  
You pulled Mark into a tight hug, too overwhelmed to speak. You breathed in his familiar peach shampoo smell, and basked in the warmth of his body.
“How was I lucky enough to find you?” you whispered; face buried in his neck. “I must have done something amazing in a past life. Saved a bunch of orphans from a burning building or something.”
Mark snorted.
You were beaming as you pulled him into your apartment, shutting the door behind you.
“I want to kiss my man, but I don’t wanna give the neighbours a show,” you said, smirking.
Mark just smiled, and leaned in to kiss you. His lips were eager, and his hands roamed your hips. You could feel his tongue against yours, sending shivers down your spine. You pushed your hands into his hair and kissed him back, hard.
When you pulled away, you were both panting.
Mark leant his forehead against yours. His eyes were closed.
“There was one more thing I wanted to talk about… about what you said last night,” Mark whispered.
“What is it?”
“The fact that we’ve never… you know…” Mark bit his lip.
You pulled away to look your boyfriend in the eye. You cupped his cheek. “Baby, I’m fine with that. You said you wanted to wait till marriage, and… I respect that.”
Mark’s fingers were toying with the hem of your blouse. “Are you sure you’re going to be able to resist me for that long?” His pink lips were pushed out in a smirk.
You giggled, wrapping your hands around his broad shoulders. “It’s true, you are irresistible. It’s going to be torture.”
You dragged out the last word, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to Mark’s neck. He shuddered with pleasure.
“It’ll be worth the wait,” Mark said, his eyes slipping shut.
“Don’t I know it.” 
MASTERLIST
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