#i live multiple states away from missouri

[bigfrogsblog]

i saw a KC streetcar while driving on the interstate i felt like i saw a celebrity

[larkspur-collective]

I did not want to do this, but... we really need a miracle.

We really need help relocating to WA!

Details are under the cut. This post mentions abuse, briefly touches on alcoholism, and discusses extreme poverty and unsanitary conditions. The short version is we need enough money for a plane ticket to Washington State, and fast.

We need help with our $300 plane ticket, some for food until we sort out foodstamps, & at least $100 to keep our phone on until we can find work.

We've been locked out of our GoFundMe account, and to be truthful I don't see one being very effective, so- our cashapp is $LarkspurWoods & our paypal is @KaiThePotatoChip [long story, don't ask lol]

Anything helps!

Goal progress: $0/600

Our Story

We are currently stuck off-grid in Missouri without a way out.

We moved out here to meet & stay with our dad, who is terminally ill, after being kicked out of our mom's in September. Turns out he's got next to nothing, we're all cramped in a single, disgusting RV [4 of us, not counting our aunt and uncle], and we've lost more than we've gained since being out here.

We were promised before our arrival that we would be able to earn an income out here, & have been unable to aside from just enough to pay our phone bill.

This inability to work has been due largely to all the vehicles our dad's family owns having broken down shortly after our arrival, as well as not having [& not being taught!] many useful skills for this lifestyle.

We don't have reliable internet or a way to seek remote work, either.

We haven't been able to do even basic things like take care of personal hygiene out here. We feel absolutely disgusting. We hate living this way.

We were supposed to get food stamps & our wisdom teeth out, but we can't...

Our father owes us money for the several weeks we have spent splitting wood for him, & has failed to deliver.

There is usually barely enough to eat, as well.

On top of all this, his sister and her husband are ignorant, bigoted, criminally violent alcoholics. They have near-daily instigated arguing and fighting since they arrived a day after we did.

Occasionally there are "good days." On one such day, November 25th, we ended up accidentally having an [attempted civil] discussion about intersex people and advanced biology in which we tried to inform them their worldview was outdated, got shut down, and then mentioned how we felt disrespected- they ended up heated and we walked away from them. they followed us, assaulted us, and their dog bit us 3 times on our ass, left arm, & face.

In addition, we have received multiple thinly veiled death threats when they're upset.

We called the sheriff, and they did nothing.

When our aunt and uncle are sober, they're not as volatile, although still incredibly emotionally abusive, prone to gaslighting, and manipulative.

We do not feel safe here, especially not as they have made it clear they have no intention of leaving anytime soon.

We have several friends and family members in the Oregon-Washington area, as well as a long-distance partner whom we've been dying to see for over a year. Our father promised to assist us with funding a trip to see them and, again, has failed to deliver.

We have been given explicit permission by several people, including our partner's family, that we have a place to stay out there, but we can't afford the plane ticket. after almost 2 months of working, we have only $50 to show for it.

We want desperately to see our partner for the holiday season and to escape our unsafe environment, and it feels like the entire world is against us right now.

We've spent weeks monitoring plane ticket prices, and the lowest is about ~$300 right now counting baggage fees.

We don't even have food money, let alone cash to get any gift for our s/o...

We've talked with a family member & they've offered to help us with getting a job as much as they can, but it's remote, and again we're off grid and don't always have gas to power the generator.

I am BEGGING anyone who has taken the time to read this to help us in some fashion.

We need help with our $300 plane ticket, some for food until we sort out foodstamps, & at least $100 to keep our phone on til we can work.

We can't promise much due to our shitty circumstances, but anything that we can do to assist or return the help we will do- we dabble with art, graphic design, music production, & video editing if people need help. We edit picrews and like making phone wallpapers as well. Just ask, and we'll try our best to do it.

This society has failed us severely. We want to make something more of ourself- we just really need some help.

Thank you to any and all for reading this, and we thank you even more if you decide to help.

[beardedmrbean]

WASHINGTON (AP) — Racist text messages invoking slavery raised alarm across the country this week after they were sent to Black men, women and students, including middle schoolers, prompting inquiries by the FBI and other agencies.

The messages, sent anonymously, were reported in several states, including New York, Alabama, California, Ohio, Pennsylvania and Tennessee. They generally used a similar tone but varied in wording.

Some instructed the recipient to show up at an address at a particular time “with your belongings,” while others didn't include a location. Some of them mentioned the incoming presidential administration.

It wasn't yet clear who was behind the messages and there was no comprehensive list of where they were sent, but high school and college students were among the recipients.

The FBI said it was in touch with the Justice Department on the messages, and the Federal Communications Commission said it was investigating the texts “alongside federal and state law enforcement.” The Ohio Attorney General's office also said it was looking into the matter.

Tasha Dunham of Lodi, California, said her 16-year-old daughter showed her one of the messages Wednesday evening before her basketball practice.

The text not only used her daughter's name, but it directed her to report to a “plantation” in North Carolina, where Dunham said they’ve never lived. When they looked up the address, it was the location of a museum.

“It was very disturbing,” Dunham said. “Everybody’s just trying to figure out what does this all mean for me? So, I definitely had a lot of fear and concern.”

Her daughter initially thought it was a prank, but emotions are high following Tuesday’s presidential election. Dunham and her family thought it could be more nefarious and reported it to local law enforcement.

“I wasn’t in slavery. My mother wasn't in slavery. But we’re a couple of generations away. So, when you think about how brutal and awful slavery was for our people, it’s awful and concerning,” Dunham said.

About six middle school students in Montgomery County, Pennsylvania, received the messages too, said Megan Shafer, acting superintendent of the Lower Merion School District.

“The racist nature of these text messages is extremely disturbing, made even more so by the fact that children have been targeted,” she wrote in a letter to parents.

Students at some major universities, including Clemson in South Carolina and the University of Alabama, said they received the messages. The Clemson Police Department said in a statement that it had been notified of the “deplorable racially motivated text and email messages” and encouraged anyone who received one to report it.

Fisk University, a historically Black university in Nashville, Tennessee, issued a statement calling the messages that targeted some of its students “deeply unsettling.” It urged calm and assured students that the texts likely were from bots or malicious actors with “no real intentions or credibility.”

Missouri NAACP President Nimrod Chapel said Black students who are members of the organization's Missouri State University chapter received texts citing Trump’s win and calling them out by name as being “selected to pick cotton” next Tuesday. Chapel said police in the southeastern Missouri city of Springfield, home of the university, have been notified.

“It points to a well-organized and resourced group that has decided to target Americans on our home soil based on the color of our skin,” Chapel said in a statement.

Nick Ludlum, a senior vice president for the wireless industry trade group CTIA, said: “Wireless providers are aware of these threatening spam messages and are aggressively working to block them and the numbers that they are coming from.”

David Brody, director of the Digital Justice Initiative at The Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law, said that they aren’t sure who is behind the messages but estimated they had been sent to more than 10 states, including most Southern states, Maryland, Oklahoma and even the District of Columbia. The district's Metropolitan Police force said in a statement that its intelligence unit was investigating the origins of the message.

Brody said a number of civil rights laws can be applied to hate-related incidents. The leaders of several other civil rights organizations condemned the messages, including Margaret Huang, president and CEO of the Southern Poverty Law Center, who said, “Hate speech has no place in the South or our nation.”

“The threat — and the mention of slavery in 2024 — is not only deeply disturbing, but perpetuates a legacy of evil that dates back to before the Jim Crow era, and now seeks to prevent Black Americans from enjoying the same freedom to pursue life, liberty, and happiness,” said NAACP President and CEO Derrick Johnson. “These actions are not normal. And we refuse to let them be normalized.”

[the-rad1o-demon]

@neil-gaiman, @transformativeworks, @vancityreynolds :

I am asking you to reblog this to spread the word, to make sure people see all of this. You don't have to if you don't want to, but it would be extremely appreciated it you did! 💛

It's important that we stop these bills and keep Project 2025 from ever winning. I do not want to live in a world where the Internet is censored by LGBTQ+phobic and racist politicians. I do not want to live in a country where Donald Trump is literally the dictator. I do not want to live in a country where people such as myself are oppressed and forced into hiding/out of the country because of extremists like the ones behind KOSA, behind all these other really bad Internet bills, and behind Project 2025.

I am asking you to reblog/share this post, and I am asking you also that if you're able to take action against these bills. And definitely try to make people more aware of Project 2025 especially, because it will seriously fuck things up for nearly everyone in the United States (except for the ones running that show, obviously).

To help stop KOSA in particular, I'm copying and pasting from a document I wrote for the folks on my campus:

[BEGIN COPY-PASTED SECTION]

WAYS YOU CAN HELP STOP KOSA

Email to your friends, family, classmates, professors, etc.

Stage protests (and stay safe if doing so!)

Create and print out posters you can put up in areas people will see (if it's allowed there)! Doesn’t need to be fancy, it can be something like this in terms of text content:

STOP KOSA 2023

This bill threatens to censor many marginalized communities and topics on the Internet, including but not limited to:

The LGBTQ+ community

The discussion of race

Mental health issues

And many more!

It also will take away even more of both children’s and adults’ privacy on the Internet!

Call your state’s senators to tell them not to sign. Slightly edited scripts you can use are copied and pasted below, the Google doc from whence they came is below:

………………

DEMOCRATIC VERSION Hi, I am urging you to VOTE NO on KOSA, s.1409. Almost 100 human rights and LGBT organizations came out in an open letter opposing it in 2022 and 2023 because of how dangerous it is. The new language does NOT meet any concerns brought up, in fact many organizations were ignored. Major news have reported that this bill actively harms kids. When you look online through social media, you will find hundreds of posts by Gen Z who are opposed to this bill. We do not want this. This bill would allow any state attorney general to sue any website for “harmful” content. When you have Republicans calling anything LGBT “sexual exploitation” or anything about race “CRT” to successfully ban books and teachers, then they will use any justification to censor the internet. The Missouri attorney general used “mental health” successfully to ban gender-affirming care with backed up research. Suicide rates will skyrocket for marginalized youth with this bill restricting content. Multiple experts agree this bill pushes age verification, even with the new language. KOSA hands more private data of children to third party companies. Furthermore, updated language threatens encryption the same way the Earn It Act does. How is this protecting children’s privacy? KOSA actively harms kids by taking away educational resources they need right now. Do NOT support this bill. Thank you.

REPUBLICAN VERSION I am urging you to VOTE NO on KOSA, s.1409. This is a dangerous bill that will harm children. Many news organizations have reported that this bill actively harms kids by exposing their private data to strangers under the guise of protecting them. We need to hold Big Tech accountable, but KOSA is not the solution. This bill would allow any state attorney general to sue any website for “harmful” content. Do we really want blue state lawyers deciding what can and can’t be allowed online and continue to censor people? This is massive government overreach. We need a bill that actually protects people by creating better security measures instead of bringing about more censorship. Multiple experts agree this bill pushes age verification, even with the new language. KOSA hands more private data of children to third party companies, which would put them in further danger. How is this protecting children’s privacy? What parent would want their child’s private data in the hands of strangers like this? KOSA is actively putting kids in danger. Do NOT support this bill. Thank you. ……………… This version comes from this Google doc, which has additional learning resources! (It also has additional resources for fighting the KOSA bill, but some of it is outdated due to Congress having already done their thing):

Note that there is a separate script for Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, use THIS ONE for him:

If you know anyone in Massachusetts specifically, tell them to call Senator Warren in order to ask her to rescind her support of KOSA. Script you can use written below (this one I wrote myself):

……………… Hello, Senator Warren. I am calling you today to ask that you rescind your support of the KOSA bill. It does not protect children. If anything, it will actively them by cutting them off from important discussions about the LGBTQ+ community, discussions about race, and mental health issues. There are even children in abusive situations who might not even know they’re being abused, and by censoring the Internet like this, or blocking children out of certain discussions, they may not find out until they’re adults. Senator Blackburn has made it perfectly clear that this bill aims to “protect” children from the trans community. Civil lawmakers, civil rights organizations, and many others have been saying over and over that this bill could be used to censor other marginalized groups as well. Please don’t support this bill. Thank you for your time and your consideration. ………………

Another important and final thing to do is to stay informed. Keep an eye on the news and on what’s happening with the KOSA bill.

That’s all I have for you!

[END COPY-PASTED SECTION]

Also!! Petition you can sign!

Thank you so much for your time, and please do whatever you can to help stop this train wreck.

EDIT - UPDATE:

Please look at the following post!

[speutschlish]

multiple acts of state terror?

2 siblings (Kindergarten & 1st grader) came to school having severe panic attacks. The State of Missouri had arrested their undocumented mom while she was waiting with them at the bus stop in the morning. They told the kids to just get on the bus when it came. These kids had to ride to school having just witnessed their mom be arrested and taken away for no crime at all besides waiting with them at the bus stop without the proper paperwork.

The State of Missouri (when I was working there in 2010-2013 at least) had a "desegregation" law in place that applied to STL city schools vs. STL county schools. Any black student living in the county could not attend a city school. A student of any other race COULD attend a city school. I dealt with enrollment at a city charter school, so I literally had to turn away black families who lived in the county, while I could enroll a kid of any other race from the county into the city school. There were LEGAL CONSEQUENCES for violating this law. My supervisor who had had my role the previous school year had enrolled a black girl living in STL county into our school for her first grade year. She was adopted and had white parents, so my supervisor thought that we could justify her enrollment in case anyone questioned it. Not only did the State of Missouri question it, they sent goons to our school right after winter break to escort the 6 year old black girl out of her first grade classroom because of her race and where she lived. This happened because of mandatory reporting of the school districts to the Department of Elementary and Secondary Education (DESE).

DESE also had a hand in preventing a black Kindergarten student from returning to her Kindergarten class at our school after taking a hiatus from school to receive CANCER TREATMENT. They did not allow her to return because since her mom had to pay for her daughter's cancer treatment after struggling for over a year to ALSO pay for her husband's cancer treatment along with family trips to visit him since he was being treated in Ohio, her mom had to move them out of the city to a cheaper suburb in the county. We did not allow the girl to return because we did not want her to be put through the trauma of being escorted out of school by DESE goons, like they did with the first grader 2 years before.

So, yes. I consider all of those acts of terror on children, and they were carried out by the State of Missouri, so - state acts of terror.

The Principal and parent council went to Jefferson City multiple times to advocate for this law being revoked. I don't know if they ever got traction on that.

[weabooweedwitch]

I say this as someone who's followed you for years and with as much kindness as possible:

Get the fuck away from your mother. Ditch her fuckin ass. She's repeatedly making things worse and refuses to learn. You need to get away from her, for your own good.

I know I might be repeating what other people have said, or even what you have thought of doing, but holy shit this bitch is actively ruining your life through sheer stupidity.

I hope things get better

I feel bad that people have to keep giving me this kind of advice because I realize it's the most obvious answer, and there are multiple reasons separating from my mother would be good for us both. I feel bad that i keep sharing all these worrying stories and worrying people and then at the end of the day, I'm way too scared to actually try and fix things. I just worry so much about not being able to take care of myself, not being able to drive, what if I go somewhere and it's harder if not impossible for me to get to work, just. I worry about everything. Honestly the thing that worries me the most is keeping my job or not being able to transfer if I went somewhere else. My wage is currently $19 an hour, my 58 yo mom was making $22, so like, I'm helping hold it all together with rent BECAUSE of that income. I'm so scared of losing that.

I've had people ask if there's any family I can go to and the only possible option would be maybe my father who is in another state, I cannot remember if it is in Illinois or Missouri (ugh, they may have passed recreational weed but thats the only good thing thats came outta thar state in like the last 2 decades). And I don't know if that would be good either. But it's an option I'm beginning to consider. But I am sort of still in the reconnecting process with my dad and we've butted heads a few times and he also has his own physical and emotional issues. Actually I think he is where I inherited a lot of mental illness from because he also has an anxiety disorder and we are almost positive he has equinus like me. He also has developed type 2 diabetes and I am really bad with sugar impulse control, what if I hurt my dad because I can't stop bringing sweets into the house and he eats them too 🥺

It just. Personally makes me hate myself to even think of "hiya pops, we've barely spoken in the last 10 years, I've been really ahitty about talking to you consistently since we've said hi again and lost my temper with you a few times, hey I know you're on a fixed income and out of a job right now (or was, maybe he has one now, we've spoken so little idk) but is it OK if I come live in your house as a whiny codependent barely functioning weed addict of an adult?" 😅

But yeah I just. This is really. It just never ends. I keep fighting myself and beating myself up on "who's right, am I right, am I wrong, am I overreacting, whats going on, what do I do, someone tell me what to do because I'm too stupid to do things right" and it's just. I also still love my mother even if that love is being increasingly mixed with resentment. I worry about her ability to take care of herself because her health is getting worse and, like, I worry about her mentally a lot. Like this tooth infection she has, is because she doesn't have the best dental hygiene, and had fillings and such, and even after needing fillings still takes shit care of her teeth, and was putting off getting like broken teeth and such taken care of, and, they're now having to pull SEVEN of her back teeth. She'll need dentures to eat certain foods now. And I'm not better, I basically stopped brushing my teeth for many years because I literally expected to be dead before they rotted out of my mouth and now I'm scrambling to adopt that routine again, and also like.

Sorry but my mom and a dentist literally lied to me when i was a little girl and said i had several cavities because they thought i would be scared into brushing my teeth and all that did was convince me everything was pointless and needed to give up since it was already damaged, and she refuses to apologize or even acknowledge how that literally helped me develop a complex and felt helpless when SHE LIED TO ME, A CHILD, HER CHILD (and also i think my difficulty keeping routines is a combination just needing to apply myself and having adhd issue because like, I've been pretty good with my skincare at least)

I just. I love her but I hate her. If I'm not careful to keep myself calm I'm going to escalate to the physical level. And to be honest I've had the opinion for many years that, all those times my mom told extremely age inappropriate stories to little tiny baby Miranda about her experiences with assault and domestic violence, even as a kid I would think, "well you like don't listen, you shut people down, you insist youre always right, I want to hit you all the time too, maybe it wasn't them but maybe you got yourself hit by constantly pushing everyone around you to their breaking point" like clearly that's not a healthy thought to have and I. I am kind of convinced at this point that almost every single bad thing that had ever happened to this woman was her own fault in some way shape or form. But you could also say that about me

What's scary is that I can't even think of going anywhere without having savings first and I'm constantly being pushed to my limits to the point I don't HAVE any savings, it's all getting sucked up. I dunno how else I can get out of this pit and I'm just, mentally worn down from any entire life of this. I feel useless and exploited at home and then I go to work and feel useless and exploited at work and by society. Like. Life feels so bleak. My Canadian friend is getting in worse health. I still have a lot of affection for him but he's also uh done and said a few things I really disagree with on personal levels and it, gives me some pause, like. I genuinely am so sad all the time. I need to go back to the psychiatrist to get some medicines again but, I am working and making enough money that after my state insurance expires in October, I'll have to go through my work, and that doesn't 100% cover everything so, j wouldn't be able to afford anything at that point

Just. Ugh. I try to write down my thoughts and listen to music and try to write on my other blog to cheer myself up but I just. What can you do right. What am I good for. What is anyone good for. What is this world itself good for. Our entire species is gonna go extinct with climate change anyways. Why should I keep struggling and suffering like this when it's. Idk. Arguably all for nothing. We'll all be nothing more than just dogs following commands and paying bills until we die

[krunchymunchy]

John - P1 // short story

I'm john. I used to work as HR at Grace's Health and Services over in Mesquite. Mostly just handled payroll and logging. My birthday? God, uh; I think April 3rd, 85? So I guess I'm 38? God I haven't been asked that question forever ago. What was I doing day one? Uh, God that was years ago. Quite a blur but let me see if I can recall. I was at my desk when my phone started blasting. My ex-wife was calling saying she took Sophie out of school since she was nearby. Freaking out because I know she damn well knows weekdays are when Sophie is with me, I unlocked my phone and then the alert came on; "EAS: Undead rising." I took my glasses off thinking "What the fuck? Is the EAS hacked or something like what happened in Hawaii years back?" I clicked on the popup and read into the details. "EAS. The CDC has declared a state of Emergency in the following states: Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, Arizona, California, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, Tennessee, Missouri, Kansas, Colorado, Utah, Nevada and Virginia. Health experts have confirmed a disease outbreak effecting those who have recently passed away. This disease is known to make those who are infected reanimate and have faster reflexes, increased motor function, and basic navigation. We urge you to stay indoors and avoid all contact with infected individuals. Please ensure to follow the following actions immediately: Secure your home Gather essential survival needs: Water, non-perishable food, weapons Stay informed via official outlets Avoid public areas and large gatherings to avoid the spread of the infection Stay quiet and alert- noise has been affirmed to garner infected individuals attention If you spot an infected individual before death, report all suspected infected to local authorities Follow local evacuation orders. Evac orders will be given to you via local EAS notifications. Remember to stay safe and vigilant. Do not go outside unless approved and safe guarded by military personnel to your evac zone." Shortly after reading that, everyone was freaking out in the office. Suddenly, my coworker Barry turned on the TV. I looked up and watched Governor Reyes on the podium speaking to the camera. "Today, I stand before you with a heavy heart and a sense of responsibility to safeguard our great state and its people. We are facing an unprecedented challenge, a threat to the health and well-being of our communities—a dangerous disease outbreak that requires immediate action. After careful consultation with our state's legal advisors and public health experts, I have taken the difficult decision to declare martial law in Texas. This decision has not been taken lightly. It is crucial that we act swiftly and decisively to contain the spread of this dis-" What happened next had Barry scrambling to turn off the TV, but he dropped it. I'd look back at the TV and witness the Lieutenant Governor, Patrick, rip into the neck of the Governor Reyes, his blue with white stripe suit now red, a dark maroon red. Something you'd see out of one of those cheap horror movies, but this wasn't a horror movie. I saw Samantha pass out from shock as she witnessed essentially our governor get murdered on live television. Shortly after Reyes fell and Patrick continued to devour on Reyes neck like a juicy pork shoulder, three shots rang out, multiple military personnel running over as one of them pushed the camera to the ground, still live, we could only hear the massacre and imagine what was happening. Eventually after around half a minute, it cut to a pre-recorded video of the national anthem. You know, those ones that were recorded during the cold war? Yeah, guess they never got around to rerecording those. The office was practically in chaos as people got shoved, people exiting through the front door, squeezing tightly together like a pack of sheep getting herded into a pen. I left through the back door, making sure I had my keys before I went to my car. I turned on the ignition as I quickly asked Siri to call Ada about Sophie

[anumberofhobbies]

Additional smells: A lot of times rain wetted gravel, the ballast, and wetted concrete platform will have unique fragrances. Another fragrance, if the track uses wooden crossties/sleepers, those get pressure-treated with preservatives during manufacture, creosote is common here in the US. The warmer the day day and, or, the newer the ties, the more intense the smell. Concrete or composite crossties/sleepers will not smell like that preservative.

Sometimes, after a train has stopped at the station the train's brakes can have a smell depending on brake type and brake shoe material. Hearing:

Wheeled luggage rolling along tile floors and concrete platforms can make identifiable sounds. On those freight trains, sometimes the brakes on the freight cars/wagons can stick and cause the steel rail to file a tiny flat spot on one or more of the steel wheelsets which will go thump-thump-thump-thump with a hint of bell ring in the sound as the train goes along. (freight car wheels are generally not individual like car wheels/tires, they come as a pair of solid steel wheels solidly attached to a steel axle, making what is called a wheelset) Also, those solid steel disc wheels can sometimes give a ringing component to the rolling rushing sound as a fast freight train passes by. And those brakes make sounds as passenger trains stop. I don't know what's available outside the US but for it there is a live feed YouTube channel named Virtual Railfan which among its camera locations has passenger stations. There is a rural Amtrak station in northeastern Missouri which gets 2 Amtrak stops per day and multiple freight trains with the cameras being well placed for catching most of the train sounds. Of course other cameras can do likewise, it is just that I know of that one since I live in the state. Here's VR's YT home page, https://www.youtube.com/@VirtualRailfan Also, springs in the draft gear/couplings and in the trucks/bogies can squeak periodically as the train goes along. Empty hopper cars have an echo-y component to their general rumble which loaded hopper cars do not. Diesel locomotives (usually diesel-electric with a diesel generator creating AC or DC to drive electric motors on each axle; there are also diesel locomotives having hydraulic transmissions) when pulling away from a stop will usually have the diesel motor, & its turbocharger if fitted, increase in volume and power a moment before the train actually starts moving. And sometimes relays or something in the electric transmission can be heard acting as the train accelerates from the stop. This is usually heard externally only by people near the locomotive, you probably will not be hearing that in the station coffee shop. Electric: Electric locomotives or railcars will naturally sound different from diesel locomotives or diesel railcars. Often, cooling blowers for the high voltage internal equipment are a dominant external sound. Sometimes there is an audible sound made by the electric collector as it slides along overhead wires or third rail. Sometimes there are visible sparks at intervals too. Touch: That rush of wind when a train goes by at speed can relieve you of your hat and even glasses if you are too close to the track. And it doesn't take a bullet train to do that, freight trains moving at Interstate highway speeds have done that at least once or twice during the history of railways.

How to create an atmosphere: Train Station

Sight

people patiently waiting for their trains, lost in their phones

passengers running down the platform to catch their train

someone struggling with all their baggage

small children running around

people waiting for their loved ones

a sad, but sweet goodbye

an excited and happy hello

people drinking and eating on the platform, waiting for their trains to arrive

people getting confused at the ticket vending machines

passengers waiting in line at the service desk to complain or to find a new route

people routinely checking the time and arrival of their delayed trains

Hearing

passenger trains arriving and leaving the station

the beeping of the doors opening and closing

the whistling of the conductor when the train is about to leave

a freight train speeding through the station, making it impossible to hear anything else at all

announcements of trains arriving, being late or being redirected to another platform

announcements about being careful to not let their baggage unsupervised and to only smoke in designated areas

pigeons flying around

passengers running down the platform, screaming for the train to wait for them

Touch

the stickiness of the floor

the gush of wind when a train drives through

Smell

that specific smell of every train station, that can't be pinpointed

the smell of fresh pastry from the bakeries inside the station

the smell of fast food and old oil

the smell of pigeons living inside the train station

that specific smell of train tunnels

the smell of cigarette smoke coming from the designated smoking area

Taste

stale air on the roofed platform

overpriced coffee or tea to go

sweet kiss goodbye

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or become a member! And check out my Instagram! 🥰

[greython3c]

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The cities of Mystic, Connecticut; New York City, New York; and St. Louis, Missouri, all present substantial expansion potential for Greyton Construction. The United States of America is home to all of these cities. In a nutshell, Greython Construction handles everything. They are well knowledgeable in construction and building management. Greython Construction has been granted operating permits by all fifty states. The united effort has a significant impact. Thanks to its dedication to excellence, appreciation of design, and emphasis on the value of open lines of communication, Greython Construction has garnered multiple honors and the esteem of clients worldwide. Numerous awards have been given to the company in recognition of its work in various disciplines. They are necessary for the company to succeed. Members of the organization receive the rewards as a token of appreciation for their diligent efforts. The remarkable success of the programs has been largely attributed to everyone's hard work. A broad range of building projects are taken on by general contractor Greyton building. The fact that its employees are true experts in their fields allows the organization to boast about these benefits. The staff as a whole is quite knowledgeable about many different fields.

This is encouraging for the Project in its whole.

We sincerely appreciate your attention to this one topic, so please give it your whole attention. Despite the excitement and anticipation surrounding the building process, Greyton Construction is aware of how critical it is to take all necessary precautions. We're pleased with the outcome because it lives up to all of our expectations. We are now far happier than we were previously. The judgments made by professionals in the construction industry are supported by this data. It will be fulfilling, motivating, and educational to work with us since we teach you everything you need to know. This is due to the fact that we will define success metrics and requirements. Because your level of satisfaction with the procedure as a whole will depend on how well we guide you through it. Give us a deadline and a quality standard, and we'll complete the job on time and to your satisfaction. You may be confident that Greython Construction will complete the job correctly and quickly return to enjoying your hard-earned assets. It is more likely that you will finish the assignment if you pay attention to this advice. We are confident that we can assemble a capable group that will work with you to accomplish your objectives. Our company has made significant training and recruitment investments in this team. I sincerely appreciate all that you have done for me.

Greyton's team has a big advantage because they have been together for over a century. I became the student I am now because of Greyton.

With their extensive experience, Greython Building is an excellent option for any building project. This enables them to provide such a broad range of construction services. Potential commercial development projects include the construction of hotels and resorts, office buildings, single- and multifamily houses, retail stores, and dining establishments. With equal ability, they can work as an owner's representative, general contractor, construction manager, or designer/builder. They are fully qualified to serve as an owner's agent and consultant.

[coochiequeens]

The co-director of MADP, Elyse Max, told local news outlet KRCG: “We just implore the Governor to find mercy in his heart. Amber is a gentle human. Everyone who knows her knows that Amber is not of future harm.” WTF Elyse? Sott raped a girl back in 1992 and raped a murdered a woman in 2003.

Government officials and “prison reform” activists in the United States are backing an effort to block the execution of a convicted child sex offender and murderer who began identifying as transgender while on death row. 

Missouri Democrat Representatives Cori Bush and Emanuel Cleaver have issued a letter to the state’s governor requesting clemency for Amber McLaughlin, a man who is set to become the first transgender inmate executed by the state for his crimes on January 3, 2023.

Formerly known as “Scott,” McLaughlin began transitioning while on death row for the horrific rape and murder of his ex-girlfriend, Beverly Guenther, in 2003.

According to court records, Guenther and McLaughlin met in 2002 and began living with each other shortly into the relationship. But the cohabitation was marred by break-ups that were often so serious that Guenther sometimes had to obtain restraining orders to keep McLaughlin away from her.

In the spring of 2003, Guenther and McLaughlin formally ended their relationship, but McLaughlin continued to pursue the woman, exhibiting stalking behaviors by frequently visiting her place of work and calling her.

On October 27, 2003, McLaughlin was arrested after burglarizing Guenther’s home. He told arresting officers he was trying to reclaim possessions he left behind at the home while living with Guenther, and was arraigned in November. Guenther had filed for a protective order just two days before McLaughlin murdered her.

On the night of November 20, while the protective order was in effect, McLaughlin drove to Guenther’s workplace and waited for her in the parking lot of the office building. He ambushed her as she walked towards her truck, pulled her to the ground, and sexually assaulted her.

After violating the woman, McLaughlin stabbed her to death and shoved her corpse in his hatchback. He drove Guenther’s body to a nearby river, and disposed of it in the underbrush. McLaughlin was arrested the next day at the hospital while attempting to obtain medication for his mental illness.

McLaughlin was ultimately found guilty of first-degree murder and forcible rape. A trial jury was unable to decide whether to impose a sentence of death or life in prison without the possibility of parole, and the presiding judge made the final decision to issue the death penalty. 

McLaughlin has unsuccessfully appealed his sentence multiple times over since it was handed down.

In 2016, McLaughlin was granted a stay of execution, but it was re-instated by a Federal Appeals Court in 2021. On September 29, after years of delays, the state of Missouri announced a date of January 3, 2023, had been set for McLaughlin’s execution.

In addition to the 2003 murder of Beverley Guenther, McLaughlin also had a historical sex offender registrationdue to a 1992 conviction for raping a 14-year-old girl.

On December 12, McLaughlin’s legal counsel filed a clemency petition urging Missouri Governor Mike Parson to intervene and prevent the execution. In the 27-page document, McLaughlin’s lawyers portrayed their client sympathetically, stating that he was “failed by the institutions… that should have protected [him].”

Included in the petition were descriptions of childhood physical and sexual abuse, periods of time spent in foster care, brain damage from fetal alcohol exposure, and mental illness that manifested as depression.

Missourians for Alternatives to the Death Penalty (MADP) took up McLaughlin’s cause and rallied at the Missouri Capitol on Tuesday, December 27, to request that Governor Mike Parson grant clemency to McLaughlin. The organization delivered a petition with over 6,000 signatures to Parson’s office.

The co-director of MADP, Elyse Max, told local news outlet KRCG: “We just implore the Governor to find mercy in his heart. Amber is a gentle human. Everyone who knows her knows that Amber is not of future harm.”

The plea was supported by seven former Missouri judges, according to MADP, and two Democratic state representatives of Congress.

A joint letter signed and issued by both Rep. Bush (D-MO) and Rep. Cleaver (D-MO), delivered alongside MADP’s petition, requested that Governor Parson halt the scheduled execution and commute McLaughlin’s sentence to life in prison, citing “gender dysphoria” and “mental health issues” as mitigating circumstances.

The letter, dated December 27, argues that jurors deliberating McLaughlin’s sentence were deprived of “crucial mental health evidence,” including information regarding his “gender dysphoria,” as his defense lawyers “failed to present it.”

Using feminine pronouns for McLaughlin, the politicians wrote: “Ms. McLaughlin faced a traumatic childhood and mental health issues throughout her life. She experienced horrific abuse and neglect at the hands of various caregivers; court records indicate her adoptive father would frequently strike her with paddles and a night stick, and even tase her. Alongside this horrendous abuse, she was also silently struggling with her identity, grappling with what we now understand is gender dysphoria. The abuse, coupled with the persistent mental turmoil surrounding her identity, led to mild neurological brain damage and multiple suicide attempts both as a child and as an adult.”

The two representatives concluded their appeal by describing McLaughlin as a “woman” and referencing discrimination against “LGBTQ+” people.

“Ms. McLaughlin’s cruel execution would mark the state’s first use of the death penalty on a woman since the U.S. Supreme Court reinstated capital punishment in 1976, and even worse it would not solve any of the systemic problems facing Missourians and people all across America, including antiLGBTQ+ hate and violence, and cycles of violence that target and harm women.”

A spokesperson for Gov. Parson told NBC News that the governor is reviewing the clemency request.

Earlier this month, Oregon Governor Kate Brown commuted the death sentences of 17 men convicted of violent murders, including one male inmate who had begun identifying as a woman while on death row.

According to court documents, in 1994 Karl Anthony Terry killed Jeffrey and Dale Brown with a samurai sword while they slept. The three men belonged to an organization that Terry called the “Order of the Black Dove.” The creed of the Order of the Black Dove, as stated in Terry’s journal entries, “celebrated violence and other anti-social behavior.”

While incarcerated and awaiting the death sentence, Terry began identifying as transgender and adopted the name Tara Ellyssia Zyst. Terry has used nearly a dozen other aliases in addition to Tara Ellyssia, such as Miazni Theidra, Deluria Dinnae, Uujohne Aejetta, and Ula Mitsata. He is being held at Snake River Correctional Facility in Ontario, Oregon, a medium-security mixed custody prison, and is now listed as “female” in prison records.

By Genevieve Gluck Genevieve is the Co-Founder of Reduxx, and the outlet's Chief Investigative Journalist with a focused interest in pornography, sexual predators, and fetish subcultures. She is the creator of the podcast Women's Voices, which features news commentary and interviews regarding women's rights.

[plannedparenthood]

8 Conversation Tips on Abortion Rights

Words are powerful. One heart-to-heart with your family could influence their perspective on the issues you care about — like abortion access. In turn, your family could share what they learn with their wider circles. That ripple effect is key to widespread social change.

Are abortion rights important to you? Do you feel safe talking about it with your family? Here are 8 tips for starting a conversation about abortion rights at a virtual dinner. 

At the end of your convo, remember the most important part: expressing gratitude.

Tip #1: Welcome your family into the conversation.

If your family members are taking turns to share what’s on their mind, use your turn to share that you’ve been thinking about abortion rights.

Note the values you and your family share, such as the core values of love, fairness, and compassion.

Say something like, “It’s because I care so much about others that I believe decisions on whether to choose adoption, end a pregnancy, or raise a child must be left to each individual — not to politicians, who can’t know each individual’s situation.”

Ask if it’s OK to start a discussion about the laws restricting access to safe, legal abortion. If people are up for it, proceed to Tip #2. 

Tip #2: Fire up some facts about abortion access.

The Supreme Court case Roe v. Wade affirmed the constitutional right to abortion in 1973. 

Today, the vast majority of Americans — 77% — support keeping abortion legal and don’t want Roe v. Wade overturned. 

ASK: “Do you believe everyone should be able to access the full range of reproductive health care, no matter how much money they make or where they live?”

Tip #3: Explain who gets hurt by bans and restrictions on abortion.

Restrictions on abortion have created costly barriers to care, such as forcing patients to travel long distances to the closest abortion provider, and to take time off work to comply with medically unnecessary waiting periods and multiple appointments.

Since nearly 6 out of 10 people who have abortions are already parents, obtaining an abortion requires many patients to arrange for child care.

Restrictions push safe, legal abortion out of reach for people who can’t afford these costs. It’s hardest on people who already face barriers to health care overall, including people with low incomes, people who live in rural areas, and Black and Brown people. 

Tip #4: Note challenges to abortion access in the states.

Since 1973, states have enacted over 1,000 abortion restrictions — and nearly 40% of those restrictions became law in just the past decade.

Because of abortion restrictions, five states — Mississippi, Missouri, North Dakota, South Dakota, and West Virginia — have only 1 abortion provider left.

11 state governments used COVID-19 as a pretense to temporarily ban abortion by labeling it “non-essential” health care during the pandemic.

Tip #5: Explain why abortion should be available to all, not just those who can afford it — and why the Hyde Amendment is both racist and discriminatory.

The Hyde Amendment is one of the longest-running federal restrictions on abortion access. Since 1976, Hyde has barred people from using Medicaid and other federal health coverage for abortion.

Nationwide, Medicaid covers 1 in 5 women of reproductive age. Of those 16.1 million Medicaid participants, 55% live in states where Hyde forces them to pay for abortion out of pocket.

Hyde is particularly harmful to people with low incomes, people of color, and young people — who, because of systemic discrimination and a history of economic barriers, disproportionately use Medicaid for their health care coverage.

ASK: “Do you believe abortion should be covered in health care plans, no matter who provides the insurance?”

Tip #6: Explain what’s happening in the courts.

Right now, there are at least 19 abortion-related cases one step away from the U.S. Supreme Court. It’s possible that safe and legal abortion access could go back to where it was before Roe v. Wade.

If Roe v. Wade is overturned, individual states will decide whether abortion is legal. That means 1 in 3 women of reproductive age — more than 25 million women — would be living in states without legal abortion.

Banning abortion won’t stop abortion. But it will stop people from accessing safe, legal abortion. The cost: pregnant people’s health, and even their lives.

Tip #7: Advocate for policies that the federal government should support in order to protect and expand abortion access, such as:

Ending the Hyde Amendment

Changing rules and regulations to protect people from discrimination by health care providers and insurers

Lifting restrictions on private insurance for abortion so that fewer people are forced to pay out-of-pocket for safe, legal abortion

Tip #8: Say ‘Thank You’

If it feels right, express gratitude at the end of the discussion — both for everyone who joined in the discussion, and everyone who listened.

[historystrainwrecks]

John D. Rockefeller’s Favorite Cheese

The richest man in the world was on the run.

President Theodore Roosevelt’s Justice Department was planning to file an antitrust suit against Rockefeller’s Standard Oil Company in 1906, and the states wanted to get into the action before the Attorney General did. Multiple lawsuits were filed against the directors of the company that controlled over ninety percent of oil production in the United States and had, by prevailing accounts, used unfair practices to gain its monopoly in the market. 

John D. Rockefeller, a Cleveland produce merchant during the Civil War, had diversified into the nascent oil business in 1870, taking huge risks in a new industry that no one believed would endure. He took advantage of this lack of confidence, buying up failing refineries. In one six-week period between February and March of 1872, he bought 22 of the 26 refineries in the city in what was later called “The Cleveland Massacre.” In his telling of the story, Rockefeller paid a fair price for refineries that were failing, poorly run, or had inferior equipment. He could have simply waited for them to go under and then picked up the pieces, but he believed he was doing a good thing by buying them out. Some of the later gripes about his tactics derived from the refiners he bought out for cash (most refusing shares of Standard Oil stock instead) who later saw him build a massive fortune from the bones of their endeavors. A lot of them were peeved they hadn’t taken the stock, which paid out over half a billion dollars in dividends between 1882 and 1906. 

Ida Tarbell, one of America’s first and best-known investigative journalists called “muckrakers,” grew up in the oil fields of Pennsylvania during the early years of the oil boom. She saw what the oil business was like from the side of the original drillers and producers—fluctuating prices, deadly accidents, and the gradual squeezing out of small producers and refiners by Standard Oil. Her father’s refinery was put out of business by Rockefeller, she believed, because of the company’s unfair business practices, which included favorable transport rates achieved through secret collusion with the railroads. 

In 1904, Tarbell wrote the bestselling “The History of the Standard Oil Company,” which laid bare the worst of Standard Oil’s monopolistic practices. She found evidence of strong-arm tactics, price manipulation that drove the sale price of oil below the costs of production, and collusion with the railroads that gave Standard a significant competitive advantage. And this was not merely history; at the time of her investigation, she was able to procure documents from Standard’s headquarters at 26 Broadway in New York that showed the company was still up to its usual monopolistic shenanigans.

John D. Rockefeller was portrayed as the evil mastermind behind the “Octopus,” as Standard Oil was derisively known, even though he had been retired from the business since 1895. Management of the company had been left in the hands of his mercurial and combative successor John D. Archbold, but Rockefeller remained its largest shareholder. His income from dividends in 1902 alone was $58 million. This massive fortune already made him a target, but once Standard Oil’s shady practices became known, Rockefeller became the poster child for everything that was wrong with big business in America. 

President Roosevelt, having established a reputation as a trust-buster, could not ignore Standard Oil after Tarbell’s expose. He did believe that large and efficient companies were essentially good for the country, creating jobs and lowering the cost of items that most Americans had to buy or use on a regular basis like kerosene and oil byproducts, meat, sugar, and railway transportation. But Roosevelt owed a large part of his political success to mastering the press and its capacity to influence public opinion. Once Tarbell’s scathing indictment of the Octopus came out and outraged the country, the President was hoist with his own petard. The Standard Oil antitrust suit offered a shot at both the world’s largest oil monopoly and the unfair practices of American railroads. 

He could not let this one get away. 

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Once the floodgates of lawsuits against Standard Oil opened, the focus landed on the company’s origins and rise to power, which meant the testimony of the company’s founder was essential. And of course, having the richest man in the world dragged into your courtroom was a pretty big deal. 

Process servers with court orders and subpoenas (along with legions of reporters) went on the hunt for Rockefeller, whose testimony was sought in cases in Missouri, Indiana, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Kansas, and others. He went on the lam, moving furtively between his estates, living the life of a fugitive. Rumors spread that he was hiding on a yacht off the coast of Puerto Rico, or at his business partner Henry Flagler’s estate in Key West. Rockefeller asked his wife not to call him on the telephone, believing the line was tapped. He didn’t put return addresses on his letters. He hired detectives to guard his estates and turn away process servers. He told Standard Oil headquarters to send his correspondence in plain white envelopes, so that no one would get any sense that he was involved in the operations of the company (which he wasn’t). 

Rockefeller went by boat from Tarrytown, New York to a fortress he had set up in Lakewood, New Jersey, complete with guards, floodlights, and thorough inspections of all incoming vehicles. Newspapers reported that Rockefeller was unable to visit his first grandson, born in 1906, because the process servers would get him. The New York World put out a headline, “Grandson Born to John D. Rockefeller and He, Mewed Up in His Lakewood Fort, Could Only Rejoice by Phone.” Rockefeller cut his correspondence by seventy percent and asked relatives to keep his location a secret: “Confidentially,” he told his brother-in-law, “I prefer not to have it known where I am. It often saves me much annoyance.”

Rockefeller was fond of understatement. 

Long retired from the company, he dictated a letter in 1906 resigning as president of Standard Oil and asking the board of directors to approve it quickly. With the directors facing their own subpoenas, they stalled. John Archbold and Henry Rogers, who were running Standard Oil, “told him he had to keep the title of president.” They said, “these cases against us were pending in the courts; and we told him that if any of us had to go to jail, he would have to go with us!”Despite all these many precautions, John D. Rockefeller was ultimately undone by cheese.

A modest and plain Baptist for most of his life, Rockefeller studiously avoided vice and ostentation. He made his children (and his business partners) pledge to abstain from alcohol (on one memorable occasion asking his daughter Edith to promise to never serve alcohol in her house on the day before her wedding) and metered out small allowances to them in exchange for household chores. He and his wife lived plainly, often using the furniture that was left behind in the houses they bought instead of buying new. His wife Cettie was horrified when she learned one of her daughters wanted to buy silk underwear. John, beset with digestive ailments, ate plain and simple food.

Cheese was both his luxury and his weakness. To teach his children restraint when they were young, Rockefeller restricted them to one piece of cheese each day. His daughter Alta one day tattled on her sister Edith for having two pieces of cheese. “Rockefeller professed shock at this indulgence,” and for the rest of the day, whenever the offender was within earshot, he would say, “Edith was greedy” and “Edith was selfish.”

Rockefeller’s chickens came home to roost, as it were, while he was on the run from various state governments. He had his favorite cheese shipped to him daily. While holed up in his Pocantico estate in New York, the New York Central railroad delivered his cheese to the station, where hack drivers would take it the rest of the way. One of these drivers, Henry Cooge, told the press (with ominous gravity) that “suspicious cheeses were again entering Pocantico.” This was irrefutable evidence of Rockefeller’s current whereabouts. “Them cheeses,” Cooge said. “I would recognize anywhere, no matter whether it is day or night…Rockefeller, in my opinion, is somewhere on his estate.”

Rockefeller and his family had to leave the country, sailing for France in the spring of 1906. His name was discreetly left off the ship’s passenger list, and the rest of the family traveled under assumed names. 

The heat was on back in the States. A court in Ohio brought an antitrust action against Standard Oil and issued a warrant for Rockefeller’s arrest. John Archbold sent a message that Rockefeller should extend his European vacation: “There seems to be a perfect wave of attacks all along the line.” A sheriff vowed to meet Rockefeller’s ship when it came back and arrest him right there on the dock. 

Standard Oil had never taken lawsuits like this seriously, and there had been many over the years. It was able to fend them off with high-priced lawyers (and the fact that most of its rapacious practices weren’t illegal until the 1890’s). The company and Rockefeller remained silent in the face of public criticism, which was a tactical error; it made the company and its founder out to be as privileged and arrogant as everyone said they were. And as guilty.

In the new age of muckraking journalism and widespread attacks on the super-rich, this approach wasn’t going to work anymore. Standard Oil’s legal team arranged for Rockefeller’s voluntary testimony, and he was able to safely return to America. 

Rockefeller was served and did testify in court in 1907, and the government’s case against the company was filed in 1909. In May, 1911, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Standard Oil was “an unreasonable monopoly under the Sherman Anti-Trust Act.” The company was broken up into 34 independent companies with different boards of directors. 

Rockefeller ended up owning a quarter of the shares in all the smaller companies. With the advent of gasoline-powered automobiles, the value of those stocks “mostly doubled.” His fortune reached as high as 900 million dollars. 

John D. Rockefeller, now even richer after the breakup of Standard Oil, was finally able to move freely about the land.

And wherever he went, his favorite cheese followed.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

February 11, 2021

Heather Cox Richardson

Today the House impeachment managers wrapped their case against former president Donald Trump. Using the words of the insurgents themselves, the managers argued that he incited the insurrection of January 6, spurring an armed and violent mob to storm the Capitol while Congress was counting the certified electoral votes that awarded the 2020 presidential election to Democrat Joe Biden.

After yesterday’s dramatic illustrated timeline of the insurrection itself, the managers used their time today establishing that Trump was responsible for sparking that insurrection. They showed the insurrectionists repeating his words—one man read one of his tweets through a bullhorn at the Capitol riot—and insisting that they were acting according to the former president’s instructions.

The managers’ case was reinforced by the fact that the Department of Justice this morning filed a memorandum establishing that Jessica Watkins, a member of the right-wing Oath Keepers paramilitary group, delayed her planned assault on Washington, D.C., until she was certain Trump was behind it. “I am concerned this is an elaborate trap,” she texted on November 9, 2020. “Unless the POTUS himself activates us, it’s not legit. The POTUS has the right to activate units too. If Trump asks me to come, I will. Otherwise, I can’t trust it.”

Again and again, the managers tried to distinguish between Trump and his violent supporters, on the one hand, and the lawmakers of both parties who were their prey, on the other. Again and again, they focused on Trump as the perpetrator of the big lie that the election had been rigged and that he, not Biden, was the rightful victor.

They warned that Trump’s attack on our democracy is not over. Even after all that has happened, he has still not conceded that he lost the election. This refusal to abandon the big lie keeps it potent, enabling him to rally supporters with the argument that fighting for Trump means defending American democracy. It is a deadly inversion of reality.

The House impeachment managers have given Republican senators multiple ways to justify a vote for conviction to their constituents. They have shown how Trump began to incite violence even before the election, in plain sight, and how that led to an assault on the Capitol that came close to costing the lives of our elected officials, including Vice President Mike Pence—a Republican—and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, the two people next in line for the presidency if Trump were to be removed from office.

The riot threatened the representatives and senators—including them!—their staffers, and many of their family members who were at the Capitol that day. And yet, even as lawmakers begged Trump to call the rioters off, he did the opposite. He attacked Pence in a tweet even as the vice president was being rushed to safety from the mob.

The managers focused, too, on the terrible toll the attack took on Capitol police. Three of them are now dead, with more than 100 wounded physically and others wounded mentally. Senators could vote to convict out of a determination to protect law enforcement officers, something their constituents say is important to them.

Today, the managers emphasized the many Republican lawmakers who condemned Trump in the wake of the insurrection, including the Cabinet members who resigned their posts, the state governors who called him out, and fellow lawmakers who expressed dismay at his incitement of the rioters.

Finally, the managers warned that, unless Trump is stopped, he will absolutely do such a thing again. They pointed out that the riot in Charlottesville, Virginia, after which the president condoned the white supremacists who killed Heather Heyer, was a rehearsal for the attack on the Michigan state house this summer. That, in turn, was a rehearsal for the attack on the Capitol. As manager Diana DeGette (D-CO) said: “In 2017, it was unfathomable to most of us to think that Charlottesville could happen, just as it was unfathomable to most of us that the Capitol could have been breached on January 6…. Frankly, what unfathomable horrors await us if we do not stand up now and say, no, this is not America.”

Senators were apparently shocked to see how close they came to falling into the hands of the rioters, and yet, although many Republican senators concede that the House managers mounted a compelling case, they continue to say that they do not believe they have the power to convict a former president. This suggests they are looking for an excuse, since the Senate’s vote on this question, which should be definitive, passed on Tuesday by a vote of 56-44. At one point today, at least 18 Republican senators were absent from their desks as the managers were making their case.

It’s unlikely that any of the senators want to acquit Trump because they want him to stay in the political scene. Some of them want his voters, but that itself cuts against wanting him to stay around: they want his voters to elect them, not to reelect him or elect his chosen successor. It’s likely they simply hoped he would fade away as he lost his social media presence and became occupied with the financial and legal troubles that are already piling up.

After all, bankers have distanced themselves from the former president, his businesses appear to be losing money, and a $100 million tax dispute with the IRS is now likely to come to a conclusion after being put on hold for four years. Yesterday, District Attorney Fani Willis, Fulton County, Georgia’s top prosecutor, announced that she is launching a wide-ranging criminal investigation into Trump’s January 2 phone call to Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, a call that lawyers have suggested broke election laws.

But the Senate trial has shown that maybe he’s not going to fade away. The House impeachment managers have laid out a damning case. The scenes from the insurrection were shocking, and they established a pretty strong sense that Trump is deeply involved in an ongoing attempt to overturn our democracy. It looks possible that the Department of Justice might, in fact, go after the former president and perhaps others with the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) Act.

After the past two days, senators who were planning to let Trump off the hook might be worrying they will have to answer to constituents furious that they didn’t do their jobs and instead associated the entire party with a criminal president and the rioters that attacked the Capitol. Already the editorial board of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch has lambasted Missouri Senators Josh Hawley and Roy Blunt: “There is no way to credibly argue that Trump protected and defended the Constitution when video evidence shows him directing a mob to storm the Capitol and interrupt constitutionally mandated proceedings to certify the Electoral College result.”

The senators need Trump’s lawyers to do a good enough job tomorrow to give them cover to acquit, and it seems likely those lawyers are not skilled enough to do so. Tonight, Senators Ted Cruz (R-TX), Mike Lee (R-UT), and Lindsey Graham (R-SC) visited Trump’s defense team. Cruz said they were “sharing our thoughts” about their legal strategy: it is of note that Cruz was the Solicitor General of Texas before being elected to the Senate, and Lee was an assistant U.S. Attorney for the District of Utah. Also a lawyer, Graham is the former chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee.

The Republican senators who will vote either to convict or acquit the former president must do so knowing that trials associated with the insurrection between now and the next election will keep the story in the news. The question is whether the American people will interpret the story as the impeachment team has framed it, or whether Trump’s lawyers and later Trump himself, if he regains a political foothold, can somehow knock that interpretation aside.

Lead impeachment manager Jamie Raskin (D-MD), who was a constitutional law professor before he went to Congress, seems to understand their dilemma. “Tyranny, like Hell, is not easily conquered,” he told the senators today, quoting political theorist Thomas Paine, “but we have this saving consolation: The more difficult the struggle, the more glorious ... our victory.”

He told them, “Good luck in your deliberations.”

—-

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[starcloud-nova]

states off the top of my memory since we’re getting a new one apparently

okay let’s do this. under the cut ↓

pacific northwest:

washington - contains seattle and multiple of my friends and i think some fancy tall building as well. not to be confused with washington dc. both are named after our first president

oregon - tbh not much here. no sales tax which is wild. has the city portland idk if you’ve heard of it. 

california - technically not part of the north west but its okay dw about it. has different laws from most of the country for some reason????? really specific stuff like pollution wise and a few other things. cities LA, san diego, san fransisco. has good sushi

the north bit of the country that i do not know the area of:

montana - named after the hit tv show hanna montana

nevada - las vegas and casinos and shit. fairly sure there’s quite a bit of native land here. has the city of reno

north dakota - mount rushmore. definitely native land here

south dakota - this state might as well not exist

idaho - potato land

the states next to california:

arizona - hot. dry. desert. it snows there too but eh who cares. grand canyon state

new mexico - idk it’s just kinda there

utah - that weird square shaped state. uhh i think salt lake city is here??? idk

colorado - square state with farms. flat as fuck. same as wyoming

wyoming - square state with farms. flat as fuck. same as colorado

the middle of the country whoohoo:

texas - cowboys horse shows hot weather. cursed state. dont ever go here. has the cities dallas, austin and houston. nasa station here i think. we’ve reached the deep south 

oklahoma - texas’ arch nemesis. shaped like a pan and has a part known as the panhandle. tbh i mostly know of this state because of the outsiders book. has city of tulsa! (native land)

nebraska - i think grows corn

kansas - flatter than fuck. legitimately forget we have this one. america is like the cat hoarder with too many cats

what i’ll kindly refer to as east of texas:

louisiana - home to new orleans! ppl associate this state with mardi gras i think. hurricane katrina go brr because NO is a fucking bowl. 

arkansas - ‘america explain’ vine

minnesota and missouri - these are the same state idk what to tell you

iowa - too many vowels to be legal. pronounced “eye-oh-wah”

illinois - there is no s in this tate. home of chicago

wisconsin - ????? idk what this one does

michigan - has those lakes which are oceans

indiana - i dont know what to tell u

ohio - i think this is self explanatory

the daughters who live away from home:

alaska - cold

hawaii - hot

where it all started:) (the 13 colonies) :

georgia - peach state ;) home to atlanta

florida - swamp and beach. there is no in between. melbourne is the most depressing city you’ll ever see

alabama - we have reached the even deeper south

mississippi - still remember learning to spell this when i was 6

tenessee - dont remember learning to spell this at all

kentucky - fried chicken

south and north carolina - idk what made them split tbh

new york - the only city that exists in hollywood apprently

delaware - first state

rhode island - smallest state

virginia - right under dc

maryland - right over dc

west virginia - okay so you know the reason why this exists? during the civil was viriginia was wondering if it wanted to secede and join the south or not. their western part had no need for slaves due to their geography and they were split on what to do. so they split the state where the appalachain plateau (coal mine shit) started and made wv. and then virginia sided with the south

massachusetts - too many letters

connecticut - fun to say:D

maine - cold

vermont and new hampshire - the same state

pennsylvania - liberty bell and hershey’s factory go brrrr

new jersey - hell

[narcissismechoapologetics]

The answer appears to be that it is standard operating procedure by police to call the county mental health facility if someone tries to report being stalked by multiple perpetrators. It appears this way the police not only get out of doing their jobs, the very reason for their existence as an entity, to protect innocent men, women, and children by containing those who are unwilling or unable to respect the lives, property, etc., of others, as well as what appears to be an urgent need to clean their own house of those who participate in or cooperate with such organized or cause stalkings.

While appearing to consistently completely and utterly fail the stalking victim, police also appear to consistently assist the stalkers in playing the victim while vilifying true victims, e.g., additionally appear to actually protect and assist perpetrators and their agendas. So while perpetrators may threaten victims regarding reporting the situation to police, police are anything but timely and effective at any hint of protection or efforts to restore victims lives, property, health, reputation, etc., but then it became wrestling one police department after another in addition to the situation being reported. However, they do appear to be consistently demonstrate effectiveness at raising fast revenues, seeking out video opportunities, harassing victims, and strutting around as if they are effective at something. If they are indeed effective at anything, it is a hidden agenda, in direct opposition to the best interest of the victims.

Then, in Kansas a head nurse in a clearly perpetrating facility, complete with directed conversation, etc., Behavioral Freedom, Topeka, Kansas, state that a signed contract stating it could be revoked at any time in writing, could not be revoked, and that simply stating or talking about being stalked by multiple perpetrators is grounds for involuntary commitment in Kansas. Note that there are similarities in this scheme to the Monarch Program, which based solely on my vague recollection, since all of Sparkster’s informative hubs could no longer be located, there were 80+ participating (medical, I believe) facilities in the program. I was never able to ascertain whether the new managing partner of Stinson Morrison Hecker, Mark Foster, is any relation to HCA’s Jon Foster, over numerous states, including Kansas and Missouri, recalling that Stinson (Carew partner (as opposed to associate or staff), -2009), Lansing Grain (Executive Vice President Carew. 2009-current), and HCA have all had the exact same Corporate Woods, Overland Park, Johnson County, Kansas address, but with different suite numbers in recent years. Note all of the upheaval with the hospitals in and around the area in the last 15 or so years, and Carew’s creation of Data Recovery Connect (not Recovery Data Connect that it was changed to after being articulated) with some of his buddies originally, along with handing me a stack of computer printouts when I was his legal secretary at Stinson (first through Secretary at Law, then as a permanent employee) while stating, “These are medical records we’re not supposed to have, so be sure to shred them.” (Stinson, late 2005).

Note while perpetrators have used “Foster” as a reference to the Shriners, apparently since their Overland Park, Johnson County, Kansas Temple is off Foster (a street name), that is not an accusation from us. We shared with the public years ago a picture of the picture displayed in the entryway of the Overland Park Kansas Shriner’s Temple, of the Shriner cops, asking if they could create a spreadsheet so we could all see what a Mason can “get away with” in their jurisdiction, based on a self-proclaimed 32nd or 33rd degree Mason and Shriner stating when he moved to Claycomo, Missouri, he went in the police station to ask what he could “get away with” based on his rank.

So while you may get various negative or even deceptive responses from police, the one thing we have not seen is effective, timely protection for victims, or aiding in the prosecution of the criminals, as opposed to attempting to cause the victims to appear to be the criminals, mental, etc. As repeatedly stated, we find this to be completely and utterly unacceptable.

Note: It has now been five full years since reporting started in late 2015, postponed three or four months under threat of arrest and incarceration for even attempting to report multiple perpetrator crimes.

Note: This public inquiry was posted on a high traffic, approximately three million views at that time, Google Community, (it “went away” according to Google, due to their changes) as well as a Facebook page, I believe, with approximately 30,000 fans, and a daily circulation of 110,000-180,000, which has currently been manipulated down to a circulation of about 10. - KC3

Note: There is commentary published regarding the above mentioned “head nurse” being “completely erroneous” that needs clarification. “Completely erroneous’ in her professional behavior and assessment. This is not a statement of her assertion of the law in Kansas.

[saveyourblood]

Stolen Dance | Ch. 3

Summary: “Maybe this was a pipe dream, a delusion you’d soon awake from or a phase you’d outgrow. You didn’t really care. For a brief moment in time, you were in love. That’s what you chose to care about. That what you made matter.”

The one where you’re a paramedic, he’s an FBI agent, and the time you spend together is borrowed.

Notes: 15k+ in and I still ain’t done. I’m like an annoying cockroach that lives under your fridge.

Word Count: 5k

Song: Someone to Stay - Vancouver Sleep Clinic

Warnings: starts out cute, ends up kind of dark. Mentions of kidnapping, trauma, usual CM warnings. 

_____________________

Clearing out your apartment was easier than you thought it would be; turns out, ever since you got back from Syria, you didn’t have much in terms of belongings. Being a soldier, you learned to pack light. You supposed you never made it out of that mindset. 

Saying goodbye to your parents was surprisingly easy. Of course, your dad couldn’t really argue, him being six feet under and all. You hoped he approved, wherever he was. Like your mom said — he’d want you to move on. 

Your mom managed to keep it together until the two of you were standing in the driveway, saying your ‘final’ goodbye. You caught her wiping away a few tears.

“Come on, mom, don’t cry,” you begged, pulling her into a hug.

“I’m just proud of you, honey,” she assured. She pulled away, setting her hands on your cheeks. “I’m a little sad, but mostly, I’m proud. I know this wasn’t an easy decision for you.”

“I’ll text everyday, and I’ll call you at least once a week,” you said. “I’ll be back for the holidays, too. And hey, maybe I’ll bring Spencer.”

“I can’t wait to meet him.”

You smiled and hugged your mom one last time. You got into your jeep, waved goodbye, and pulled out of the driveway. Only then did you let a few tears of your own fall.

They weren’t out of sadness, per se; you could feel the chapter ending, was all. You didn’t like endings. You didn’t like to say goodbye. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, Spence,” you greeted warmly. You were standing at a gas station somewhere in Western Missouri — about halfway to Virginia.

“What are you doing up so early?” He asked. You could hear the sleep in his voice.

“Oh, shit, did I wake you up?” you said, feeling guilty. “I’ll call you back in a few hours.” 

“No, it’s okay,” he promised. “I like talking to you.”

You smiled again. “Do you like seeing me?” 

“Of course I do.”

“Can I take you out to breakfast Friday morning?” 

“How can you do that if you’re in Colorado?”

Your smile widened. “I never said I was in Colorado.”

“...You’re in Virginia?” He asked, confused.

“I’m on my way,” you answered. “I’m in Missouri now, so I should be there in two days.”

“Two days..?” He thought aloud. A moment of silence passed. “Oh my god, Y/N, are you driving?!”

“Of course I am,” you replied. “What else did you expect?”

“That’s over 1,500 miles!” He shouted. “Something could happen!”

You leaned against the jeep. “Like what?” “Anything! Your car could break down, your reservations could fall through, you could get kidnapped…”

“Spencer,” you said, cutting him off. “I lived in a warzone for 3 years. I can handle a 25-hour road trip.”

“Where are you? What’s your specific location in Missouri?” Spencer asked. You could hear shuffling.

“Does it matter?” “It does matter, because I’m gonna catch a flight,” he said. 

“No you are not!” You laughed. “I am fine, Spencer. I’m not letting you waste a couple grand on a last minute flight to Boondocks, Missouri.” He sighed. “What are your plans for tonight?”

“I have hotel reservations in Nashville,” you chuckled. “I should be there no later than 7 tonight.”

“And if you’re not?”

“Then I’ll call you,” you answered simply. “And if I don’t respond, I just gave your team a case. You’re welcome in advance.”

“This isn’t funny, Y/N!”

You covered your mouth to stifle your laughter. “You know, it’s a good thing we weren’t dating while I was in Syria,” you said, still giggling. “You wouldn’t have survived the first night, let alone 3 years.”

Silence.

“Spence, are you there?” you asked.

“You said we’re dating.” 

Your heart rate picked up. “Aren’t we?” you asked with a nervous chuckle. “I mean, you introduced me to your mom. Fuck-buddies don’t do that.” 

“I guess they don’t,” he ceded. You could practically see his smile. “Hey, why are you coming to Virginia anyways?”

“I can’t drive over 1,500 miles to see you?” you joked.

“You can, but you never have.”

That was a can of worms you didn’t feel like opening over the phone. 

“I’ll tell you when I get there,” you said. “I’ll call you at 7, let you know what’s going on.”

“Stay safe, okay Y/N?” 

You smiled. “Always.”

After filling up the jeep, you sat down in the driver’s seat with a sigh. You leaned your head back and closed your eyes for a moment. You wondered how Spencer would have reacted had you told him you had slept in your car the night before. 

You opened your eyes after awhile to see your dog tags hanging on the rearview mirror. You leaned forward, took them off, and  put them around your neck. You were closing a chapter in your life, so it seemed appropriate to remember the old ones. 

_____________________

You found your new apartment complex in no time, as it was only a few minutes from campus. You considered staying in the dorms, but ultimately decided against it for multiple reasons. It wasn’t much cheaper to live on campus, you being an out of state student, so financially, there was no benefit. Also, you’d been used to living on your own since the Army; you didn’t feel like living with a stranger in their early twenties at the oldest, 18 at the youngest. 

You parked in front so your stuff would be easier to move in. What you didn’t expect was seeing Spencer sitting on the front steps. 

“What are you doing here?!” you asked, jogging up to greet him. Without hesitation, you pulled him into a hug.

“I asked Garcia to do some digging,” he admitted. “You could have told me you were moving.”

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” you grinned, pulling away. You brushed some hair out of his face.

“Believe me, I am surprised,” Spencer promised. Then, he grinned, grabbed you by the waist, and pulled you into a kiss. 

“You know, we can do this as much as we want now,” you said smugly after pulling away. 

“I guess so,” he smiled. He ran his thumb over your mouth, biting his bottom lip as he did so. 

“If you help me move in, I’ll let you stay the night,” you bribed, resting your arms on his shoulders. “We can order a pizza, watch a movie… do a little more than kissing.”

“You had me at ‘stay the night.’”

Just like moving out didn’t take much time, neither did moving in. Truthfully, you took the most time making your bed. The rest of your items were unpacked in less than an hour.

“Is this all of your stuff?” Spencer asked, looking around the bare room. 

You nodded. “Besides the stuff my mom has at home. I’m not very materialistic.” 

“Have you always been this way?” He inquired curiously.

“Ever since Syria,” you admitted. “Once you see how people in poverty live, a 70” flat screen doesn’t seem all that important, I guess.” 

Spencer took a seat on the couch. “You served for 3 years, right?”

“I thought you had an eidetic memory,” you teased, taking a seat beside him.

“I’m trying to be more conversational.”

“Just be yourself,” you encouraged. “I like you for you.”

He smiled, looking down.

“I was deployed for 3 years,” you said, despite him knowing the answer. “Served for a total of 5. I saw a lot of things. But no matter how bad it got, I knew the people in the situation had it so much worse. It’s like your work at the BAU — you see the worst of humanity, but you don’t suffer from it. It’s just your job to help the people that do.”

“Speaking of the BAU…” Spencer segued. “Have you called Hotch?”

“I… don’t know what to say,” you admitted. 

“I can talk to him for you, if you want,” Spencer offered.

“I’m a big girl: I can do it myself,” you replied. “Thank you, though.”

“Of course,” Spencer said, taking your hand.

Turns out, Spencer didn’t have to tell Hotch anything for him to figure out you were in Virginia. You got voicemail one afternoon, right after a different job interview. Hotch said he ‘got a hold of’ a letter of recommendation your former Sergeant Major wrote for you. He proceeded to say that, if you were still interested, he’d like to set up an interview. 

You called Spencer right away, and the minute you told him, he picked you up and spun you around with joy.

Who knew Virginia could be so great. 

_____________________

The hours before your interview was probably the most nerve-wracking moment of your life. You were terrified of failing, even more so than when you joined the Army. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you fluked this. 

“I’m gonna vomit,” you told Spencer, who was sitting at his desk in the BAU bullpen. Meanwhile, you were relentlessly pacing. “Or faint. Or both.” 

“You’re gonna do fine, Y/N,” Spencer assured. “I’ve never seen Hotch offer an interview to someone. As far as he’s concerned, you’re qualified.”

“Hey beautiful,” someone behind you remarked. You turned around to see Derek Morgan.

“Hey, Derek,” you smiled with some relief. 

“What brings you to Quantico?” He asked, taking a sip from his mug.

“An interview,” you answered simply. Had you continued, you would have rambled. It’s a nervous tick of yours.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “An interview for the BAU?”

You nodded. 

“Good luck, doll,” he said, patting your shoulder. “You’ll do great.” 

Suddenly, you felt Spencer take your hand. 

“Seriously, Y/N, you’ll nail it,” he promised. 

“Y/N Y/L/N?” Hotchner called from the balcony. 

You let go of Spencer’s hand, looking up. “Yes sir?”

“Ready when you are,” he said, then walked back into his office. 

You smoothed down your blouse, sucking in a breath. “Wish me luck.”

“You don’t need it,” Spencer said with a smile. 

“Thanks,” you replied, taking a few steps towards the stairs. “Oh, and Spencer?”

He looked up.

“Jealousy doesn’t look good on you,” you said with a wink.

“She’s not wrong,” you heard Derek say before you made your way up the stairs. 

“Why do you think you’d be an asset to this team?” Hotchner asked.

You sat across from his desk, while Erin Strauss, the section chief, stood to the side. 

“Well, all of my former commanders speak very highly of me,” you started. “I was a combat medic in an active warzone for 3 years. I saved more lives than I can count, both civilian and fellow soldiers.” 

“While we appreciate your service,” Erin started, “all BAU agents hold a specific set of skills. What are your qualifications in terms of education?”

“I’m pursuing a degree in Psychology at the University of Virginia,” you informed. 

“What year are you in?”

“...I’ll be a freshman in a few months.”

Strauss shot Hotchner a look.

You pursed your lips, then let out a soft, almost inaudible chuckle. 

“Is something funny, Miss Y/L/N?” Stauss asked.

“No ma’am,” you assured. “It’s just… I’m twenty-five. I enlisted the second I turned eighteen, and I served my country for 5 years. Uncle Sam is paying for my degree, which I couldn’t pursue earlier, because like I said, I was serving my country.”

“And like I said, your service is appreciated,” Strauss countered. “But -”

“I get it,” you cut her off, feeling suddenly confident. “There are probably better candidates out there, at least on paper. You can hire someone that’s worked in the FBI for years, who’s taken the proper classes to become a profiler. I get it — they’re less of a risk. But I’m good in a crisis. I’ve worked in emergency medicine for 7 years, and for 3 of those years, I was being shot at while practicing. I could ace any physical or psychological evaluation you throw my way. And, even though it doesn’t mean much, I’ve been profiling since before I could spell my own name. Maybe there are better candidates out there, I honestly don’t know. But what I do know is that I could be pretty damn amazing, if you give me the chance. ...Ma’am.”

_____________________

Spencer invited you over for the night, but you couldn’t seem to focus on anything other than the interview. 

“I mouthed off to her,” you said, running your hands through your hair. “God, I’m an idiot. I’m never getting the job.”

“Y/N, come lay down,” Spencer said. His back was against the backboard, the book he was reading now in his lap. 

“I can’t, I’m pacing,” you mumbled, continuing to walk around his bedroom. 

Spencer didn’t say anything; he put his book on the nightstand, pulled the covers back, walked over to you, and set you down on the bed. He sat behind you and began rubbing your shoulders. 

“You’re smart, you’re strong, good under pressure, and more than qualified,” he said. “You’ll get a call back. Just give it some time.” 

You leaned into his touch, letting yourself relax for the first time all day. “You’re right. I’m sorry I’ve been so crazy. I just… really want this. I’m terrified that I ruined things for myself.”

“I’m sure you did better than you think,” Spencer said softly. “Strauss puts up a strong front, but she’s not as bad as she seems. All she wants is someone who can do the job well and stay out of trouble.”

You leaned your back against his chest. “Thank you,” you whispered. 

He wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing his lips into your shoulder. You set your hands over his. 

You weren’t sure when the two of you fell asleep; all you knew is that you fell asleep on top of Spencer’s chest with your face buried in his neck. Normally, upon waking up, you would savor the moment. But this morning, your ringing phone woke you up. 

Carefully moving as to not wake Spencer, you untangled yourself from bed and picked up your phone on the 3rd ring. 

“Hello?” you asked, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

“Y/N?” The voice asked. “It’s Aaron Hotchner.”

Any fatigue in your body left at that exact moment.

“Yes, Sir. Good morning,” you greeted.

“I just heard back from Erin Strauss. Are you able to start Monday?”

“Yes! Yes, absolutely.” 

“That’s good to hear. I’ll see you 8AM sharp come Monday.”

“Yes Sir. Thank you, Sir,” you said, before wishing him goodbye. 

You hung up the phone, squealed, and began to jump around. You were so absorbed in your own happiness that you didn’t hear Spencer stir awake. 

“Good news?” He asked sleepily. 

Beaming, you leaned down and kissed him. “Great news.” 

_____________________

Your day started with a lot of formalities — you sat in an office with the head of HR,  learning about uniforms, insurance, and retirement plans. Your uniform was easy compared to virtually everyone else in the BAU; you had to wear a garment stating your job as a paramedic at all times. This came in two easy forms: a t-shirt or a bomber jacket, both provided by the Bureau. Apparently, you’re supposed to stick out in a crowd. You wondered if it was a rule for all medical personnel in the FBI, or if Strauss had something to do with it. 

The HR manager was about to get into 401ks when the two of you were interrupted.

“Oh good, you’re still here,” a high, chipper voice said from the doorway. “Y/N, we need you for a briefing.” 

You turned around in your chair to see a blonde woman dressed in bright clothing. From what Spencer had told you about the team, you guessed it was the one and only Penelope Garcia. 

“Already?” you asked, then looked back to the HR manager.

“Y/N hasn’t had any training,” he said slowly. “Can’t the team wait until the next case?”

“Talk to SSA Hotchner,” Garcia stated simply. “Until then, the medical goddess is mine.” 

You turned back to the manager. He sighed in resignation.

“We’ll talk later,” he dismissed you.

You smiled professionally. “I look forward to it,” you said pleasantly before exiting the room behind Garcia. 

“You’ve seriously had no training?” Garcia asked in disbelief. Her heels clicked loudly on the floor as she walked.

“Not with the FBI, no,” you confirmed. “My training so far has come from different jobs.”

“Sorry honey, but that won’t get you a gun,” Garcia said. 

She stopped dead in her tracks, which caused you to almost run into her.  Garcia merely stuck out her hand.

“I’m Penelope Garcia, by the way. Technical Analyst, genius extraordinaire,” she said. 

“Oh, I know,” you chuckled, but shook her hand anyways. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

She frowned. “How so?”

“Oh, Derek talked about you before my interview,” you quickly recovered. “I was nervous, so I asked if he could distract me. You were the first thing that came to his mind, I guess.”

She smiled widely. “My sweet, sweet boy,” she sighed blissfully, and continued walking.

Thank god Spencer told you all about Penelope and Derek’s flirty relationship. 

You followed Garcia into a room with a round table and a few TV screens close to the far wall. Almost all of the team was already sitting somewhere at the table. 

“Everyone, this is Y/N, the BAU’s newest beauty,” Penelope said. She patted your arm. “Take a seat, my dear.” 

You smiled shyly, sitting in the first empty chair. You ended up between Prentiss and Rossi. 

“Aren’t you supposed to start next week?” JJ asked curiously.

“Yes,” someone from behind you answered. Hotch walked into the room. “Plans changed. Garcia?”

Garcia picked up a remote on the table and pointed it to the screen. She began to hand out files. “So, this boy was found two hours ago in the middle of nowhere — well, technically he was found outside of Crawford, Arizona. My point is, he has clearly been to super hell and escaped some sort of captivity.”

“How do we know he wasn’t just dropped off?” Derek asked.

“He has fresh cuts on the bottom of his feet from the local cactus fields, and that's away from any through roads, and his skin is rubbed raw around his ankles from chains,” Garcia answered. She maintained her composure, but hints of disgust and sympathy showed through.

Derek nodded, looking at the photos in his file. “He must have had the chance to escape and took it.” 

“Or the UnSub could have  had him in transit,” Emily purposed.

You looked at the photos of the boy. They were absolutely heartbreaking. The boy shied away from the camera — only one of them caught his face, which was covered in grime and framed by ungroomed hair. His clothes were tattered, and the skin he had showing was covered in scars. You couldn’t imagine what that sick bastard put this boy through for years.

“Look at the whites of his eyes — he’s jaundiced,” you observed. “He hasn’t seen Sun in… awhile. Garcia, have they figured out the boy’s age?” 

“They don’t even know his name,” Garcia said sadly. “He hasn’t spoken yet. They’re lucky they got the pictures they did.” 

“Are there any missing children in the area, Garcia?” Spencer chimed in.

“None until now, but Sir, you may have more information than I do?”

“I do. Earlier tonight another boy was reported missing in Flagstaff,” Hotch confirmed. 

“That’s not far — can’t be a coincidence,” JJ said.

“Technically it could, but Arizona has the lowest abduction rate in the country, so the chances of these cases not being related are ridiculously slim,” Spencer replied nonchalantly. 

“This is a child abduction case?” you asked, startled. “What do you need me for?”

“I’ll tell you on the jet. We need to get moving — every second is crucial. Wheels up in 15,” Hotch said, then dismissed himself from the room. 

Per Spencer’s advice, you packed a go-bag the day you got a phone call saying you were accepted. He kept yours at his desk, ‘just in case’ you needed it before you had a desk of your own. You’d have to thank him for that later.

You learned on the plane ride that you’d be working with the boy who escaped. As Garcia briefly mentioned, local law enforcement and even hospital staff had yet to break ground with him. It would be yours and Spencer’s duty to change that. 

You wanted to ask why you were needed again, but the answer eventually came to you: Hotch, or someone else on the team, thought you’d bond with him. Considering they knew almost nothing about you, they probably thought you’d bond over trauma. 

A thorough background check is done on anyone and everyone that has even the slightest bit of interest in joining the FBI. You understood that. You accepted that. But you knew the hacking abilities Garcia was capable of, and thanks to Spencer, you knew how protective she was of the team. That woman probably dug up some of your darkest moments, put screenshots in an email, and sent it to her boss like it was an everyday occurrence. Hotchner probably knew everything you went through overseas: the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

He knew you’d find a way to connect with the survivor. 

Hotch gave you a change of clothes on the plane; it consisted of a black t-shirt with the FBI decal as the left chest logo and ‘Paramedic’ written in big, white letters on the back. He also gave you a navy blue bomber jacket that, in terms of lettering, looked exactly like your shirt. You decided to leave the jacket off when you went to the hospital.

“You can’t examine his scars?” Spencer asked as the two of you followed the survivor’s doctor down the hall. 

“I can’t get close enough,” he corrected. “He has the most severe case of CER I’ve ever seen.”

“Conditioned Emotional Response,” you and Spencer said simultaneously. 

The doctor turned around for a brief moment. “You guys did your homework,” he remarked. 

“People experience and impose conditioned emotional responses almost every day,” Spencer continued. “In normal settings, CER is emotional discipline, or cause and effect. For example, if someone develops a fear of dogs after being bitten by one, that fear is a conditioned emotional response. After years of abuse, trauma, or toture, CER can be worse than PTSD.”

“He’s afraid of light and sound,” The doctor agreed. “We’re keeping it as dark and quiet for him as possible. He’s also been somewhere crammed — his legs show signs of advanced arthritis.” 

“Any idea how old he is?” You asked.

“It’s hard to tell. He has major skin and tooth decay, probably caused by the massive vitamin D deficiency.”

The doctor stopped walking when the three of you came to a door that was guarded by a police officer. 

“Best guess?” you pushed.

He sighed. “Maybe sixteen.”

“Thank you,” you told him, and he nodded before walking off. 

Spencer flashed his badge to the police officer in front of the door, and just like that, the two of you were let in. You clicked a button on the wall beside the officer, which opened the room’s automatic door. You followed Spencer inside.

The blinds drawn shut, and all medical gear in the room was turned off. The bed was empty, and the food on the tray was left untouched. You scanned the room, and eventually, you found the boy — he was curled up under the table in the corner of the room. You pulled the curtain in front of the door shut before approaching him. 

“Hey,” you said softly, crouching down on your knees. You kept a decent distance. “My name is Y/N, and this is my friend, Spencer.”

Spencer crouched beside you, offering him a wave. “Hello.” 

He cowered away, trying to make himself smaller. 

“We’re the good guys,” you promised, then paused. “Is it okay if I hang out with you for awhile?”

He didn’t respond, which you fully expected. Asking to stay wasn’t a formal request of yours; mostly, you wanted to silently show that he was allowed to be in control of some things.

You looked up at the stand, which held a plate full of fruit, an energy drink, and a bottle of water. Everything appeared untouched. You turned back to the boy, then briefly stood up to grab the water. 

“You must be thirsty,” you said, crouching back down. “Want some water?” 

You extended your arm, offering him the bottle. He swatted it out of your hand and across the room before backing up into the corner again.

“Okay, it’s okay,” you said gently, backing away to give him some more space.

“This is years of conditioning,” Spencer murmured. “I’ll go tell Garcia to expand the search.”

“Good idea,” you agreed. 

Spencer walked out, and with that, it was just you and the boy. 

You picked up the water bottle and sat against the foot of the bed. You let silence fill the room, hoping your lack of sound and movement would assure him you were nothing to fear. 

After awhile, you reached into your pocket and pulled out a quarter. You began rolling it across your fingers, stopping when the coin was wedged between your pinkie and ring finger. Then, you started over, and rolled it across your fingers again. You’d been practicing the trick for awhile: basically since you and Spencer met. It wasn’t his ‘disappearing’ trick, but it was fairly easy to learn and execute.

You eventually looked up to see the boy staring at you. He was still under the table, but his body wasn’t facing the wall anymore. You smiled softly and rolled the quarter across the floor. 

The boy laid it flat on the ground.

“I know you’re scared,” you said quietly. “You were taken away from your home and put in a place you didn’t feel safe. You spent the first few days scared out of your mind, wondering when he was going to just get it over with and kill you. Eventually, though, you realized he didn’t want to kill you — you didn’t know what he wanted. That scared you even more.” 

He stared at the quarter, but you had a feeling he was listening to you, not just hearing you.

“I know you think he can still hurt you, that he’s standing right outside that door,” you continued. “He isn’t. And even if he was, he’d have to go through me before he could get to you. No way would I let that happen.” 

The boy picked up the quarter and looked at it. Then, he rolled it out from under the table, and back to you. 

You picked it up before it could hit the ground. A small smile crossed your face. 

Slowly, over what you guessed was an hour, the boy made baby steps. Eventually, he began to move out from under the table. Once he sat across from you, no table or wall as his shield, you were able to turn on the overhead lights. He still had an aversion to sunlight, but you decided not to worry about that for the moment. 

You and the boy took turns with the coin, rolling it back to the other person when you were finished. You showed him a few hints and tricks on how to roll the quarter across his fingers, all without actually touching him. 

You caught movement in the corner of your eye. Spencer stood in the doorway.

The boy slowly scooted over. You stuck out your hand in reassurance. “It’s okay,” you promised. 

He sat still.

Spencer entered the room, taking a seat in the chair behind where you sat on the floor. 

“What did Garcia find out?” you asked Spencer. 

“She broadened her search, but there’s no one that matches his description,” Spencer replied, tone hushed. 

“Someone has to be missing this kid,” you said. 

Then, an alarm in the hallway went off.

The boy immediately scrambled across the floor, frantically making his way back under the table.

“No, no, no, that’s not for us,” you said, reaching out instinctively. “That’s for the doctors outside. It’s for the doctors, not us.”

Sure enough, an automated voice called ‘code blue’.

“It’s alright. It’s okay,” you said. 

He peeked his head out.

“It’s not for us,” you repeated. “Okay? You can come back out. I promise.”

He slowly made his way back over to you.

“There you go. That’s it,” you praised. You reached your hand out, holding the quarter. “Take it.” 

He took it quickly, covering it with his freehand.

“There you go.”

You sighed, turning your head to Spencer. “I got him to nod, but that’s about it.”

“And you asked him his name?” Spencer questioned.

You nodded. 

“Have you tried Spanish?”

“The language doesn’t matter if he won’t talk,” you spoke.

Spencer moved from the chair to the floor space beside you. “Mi nombre es Spencer,” Spencer said. “como te llama?”

Silence.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?” You asked gently.

Once again, nothing.

“Can I see what you have there?” Spencer asked, a small smile on his face.

The boy stuck out the coin.

“Wow. Do you like eagles?” He asked.

The boy pointed to the wings.

“Yeah, the wings are beautiful, aren’t they?” Spencer agreed.

He reached up and touched his back. He pointed to the wings again.

“Wings?” Spencer frowned. “You have… wings, on your back?”

It clicked in your brain. “Angel?”

The boy looked at you.

“Is your name Angel?” You asked. 

Angel smiled.

_____________________

Part 4

Notes: Let me know what you think! Comments keep me motivated to write xo