#i live and die for angst

[toffeesbabbles]

My journey with the UTMV actually started with alternate timelines instead of jumping straight into aus. I had to be warmed up to the idea. One of my favorite of these alternative timeline stories is Flowey is not a good life coach. Primarily cause it was the first to focus on papyrus which I had not seen yet. On top of that, it was ANGST surrounding papyrus which was even better.

Its a good fic! from what i remember, its been quite a bit of time. It was actually my first ao3 fic EVER i had no idea what ao3 was before i read it. I also was an avid follower of the comic based on the fic. Can't remember if it was ever finished. Loved any offshoot fics as well.

edit: if im being honest i read the fic when i was like... maybe 10-12ish? so I can't promise it actually holds up now.

[kasterarts]

Moving Forward. (Spoilers for YTTD up through 3-1b)

[hyperfixiation-station]

🥺 hi. I get so anxious asking for requests. So I’m sorry if it’s weird. But could I please please Pleaseee get a ghost x fem reader. Hurt to comfort. They were on a mission and she’s there for medic help. Not even to fight. But she got taken by the bad guys. And she gets tortured for information that she doesn’t have. And they play mind games with her. Making her think that they will never come rescue her. They really fully break her body and break her mind by the end of it. But before she thinks she’s about to finally die, Ghost and the others come and save her. And it’s about how the only person she feels safe with after all that is ghost and just him helping her heal and get back to the woman she was before all this. I want it to hurt my soul. 😭 but then there’s hope at the end of it bc they have each other.

My Heart Will Go On

Don't be, I love when people ask me things, and I looooved this request so much!!! I too like to torturehave fun with my OC's :)

TW: Blood, torture, manipulation

Pairing: GhostxReader

Part 2

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. It wasn’t supposed to happen at all, actually. It was just another mission, another day on the job. You went out with the boys as usual, their assigned medic as theyghost refused to work with anybody else. You weren’t sure why. Maybe it was your soft demeanor, your gentle touch, the way you never judged himthem for anything hethey did. But whatever it was, they liked you, and so with them you went.

You hung back at the evac point, also as usual. Sitting in the truck, first aid kit on your lap, a comm in your ear as you listened to your boys and made sure they were all okay. It was a tense fight, gunshots and pained grunting filling your headset. You were on edge, rocking back and forth as you listened for your que to come in. In fact, you were so focused on the comms that you didn’t even notice the danger you were in until it was too late.

Your first cue something was wrong was when the comms went silent. The sounds of battle filled your ears for hours before getting cut off abruptly. Your hand shot to the comm link, fiddling with it as you frantically tried to reconnect, worried something was wrong.

“Ghost, do you copy?”

“Ghost?”

“Price?”

“Gaz?”

“Can you hear me??” Your voice got more and more panicked as you got no response. You yanked the headset off and shrugged your vest on, kit in hand as you slid out of the truck.

Your second clue something was wrong was when you looked up to see the barrel of a gun pointed directly at your face. You didn't even have time to ask ‘what’ before everything went dark.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hello, princesa.” You blink hard as the blindfold is removed from your eyes. The light is blinding, the splitting headache you got from being pistol whipped only intensifying under the harsh lights.

“Who are you?” You manage after a moment, eyes slowly focusing on the man in front of you. He is large, easily over six foot, and built like an absolute unit. His face is covered by a black balaclava, though his scarred, tattooed forearms are on display.

“Don’t play stupid with me.” His voice is deep and smooth, and if you weren’t in the situation you are in you would have asked him to keep talking.

“‘M not! I don't-"

“Don’t lie to me Princesa. I don’t like liars.” A shiver runs down your spine as his tone darkens.

“But I’m-”

“Ah ah lovie, I am one asking questions here.”

“I wasn’t ask-”

“SHUT UP!” You flinch back at the drastic change in tone, the sound sending bolts of pain through your skull.

“Oh sorry Princesa, did that hurt?” Seriously, you are going to get whiplash from his bi-polar personality, “Forgot you have concussion. Let's get you Advil for that and then we see if you talk, yeah?"

You watch with blurry vision as he leaves the room, slamming the door shut behind him. The sound sends waves of agony through your pounding head, and by the time you can focus again he's back.

All it takes is one well placed blow to the head, an attempt to get you to pay attention, and you're out like a light.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t know anything I swear! Please! I don't know anything!” The sobs tear raggedly out of your throat, already raw from screaming. Your voice is scratchy and broken, but still you can't stop begging.

“I don’t know anything” You sob. Those words, I don’t know, had become your motto over the past few daysweeks(?)

“Oh Princesa. I know.” He croons, running a finger down your bruised face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time was meaningless. Has it been 2 days since you were captured? Two weeks? Months? You don’t know. Your meals come at staggered times, and your captors never come at a routine time. The lights turn on and off at staggered times, nothing in a set pattern, a system created to mess with your mind.

Not that you know that. This wasn’t the kind of life you lived. You were a medic for heaven's sake. Your hands had been built to mend, to fix, to heal. Not to clutch at broken bones, to scratch against cement, to be chained and broken. You arewere a gentle creature, not designed for this world of torture and terror.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"They no come for you." You moan as the words pound through your skull, nearly unintelligible.

"Wh'...y'say?" You mumble, voice scratchy and broken.

"You're friends, Princesa. They are no coming for you." He sighs and moves next you, prodding your side with his steel-toed boot, "You are replaceable, your skills are easily replicated, they no spend time and resources to find a simple medic."

"They…'ll c'me." You wheeze, refusing to belive that Price, that Gaz, that Soap, that Ghost, would just...leave you.

He laughs in response, digging his toe into your side until your gasping in pain.

"We shall see, Princesa. We shall see."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You weren’t built for this. Weren’t built to recognize the manipulation, the mind games. Weren’t built to survive the two-face man who was reshaping your brain. The man who was your greatest source of pain, but also your only friend. The man that flayed your flesh open, but soothed and bandaged you when it was all over. This man, who was slowly becoming the only thing you could trust in your unstable world. He may bring you unbearable pain, but he brought you comfort too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That looks bad, Princesa." The man lightly touches the bones sticking out of your forearm. You whine in pain, clutching it to your chest. He chuckles, wiping your blood off on the cell floor.

"Let's get that fixed up, yeah?" His voice is soft, and gentle, and the nicest thing you've heard in a loooong time. His touch is the same, gentle caresses of bruised and broken skin, revolting and appealing at the same time.

Oh, it's utter agony as he sets and stitches your arm with no pain killers. You scream, back arching, lungs heaving, body seizing.

But after? Oh it's heaven. He holds you, cradling you against his warm body, making sure you don't go into shock, telling you you're a good girl, and that you've made him proud. You hate yourself for it, but you can't help but preen at the praise.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He brings you a calendar. One month. It’s been one month since you got taken.

“It’s been over a month.” He says, a deep voice tinged with pity, “and no sign of your…friends. I’d give up being rescued if I were you, because they clearly have.” You can barely hear him as you stare at the paper in his hands, 31 days marked off with big, bright X’s. 31 days that you have been trapped here. 31 days that your squad…hadn’t come for you. Is he right? Are they really not coming? Did Ghost really give up on you? Are you-

“Ay Princesa, I even did what you asked. I sent your squad pictures and videos that even the greenest tech member could pull some coordinates from, but nothing. It’s like I said. Your ‘friends’ don’t care for you. They are not coming for you. I am your only friend in this place. Tell me, who bandages your wounds, who feeds you, who makes sure your living space is comfortable?”

“Y-you do.” You whisper uncertainty, “But…you also hurt me, don’t you?”

“Oh Princesa, I wouldn’t hurt ya if y’ would just listen. It not torture if you're disobedient. It's just…punishment.” His voice is sickeningly sweet, “And you just back-talked me. Do you remember what happens when you try to give me sass?”

"I get…punished." You mumble, cheeks flushing with shame.

"Obviously, you fucking idiot. I mean how."

"I…you…I have to do affirmations."

"Look at that, y'r gettin' it!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Say it again." He snarls. You sit in front of a mirror, face bruised, bleeding, and swollen.

"I 'm r'pl'c'able, my friends…'re n-no'...c'min'...I 'm no' l'v'ble…I 'm r'pl'c'…able." You whisper for the hundredth time.

"Again."

"I 'm r'pl'c'able, my friends 're no'...c'min'...I 'm no' l'vable, I 'm r'pl'c'…able."

"Again!"

"I 'm r'pl'c'able, my friends 're no'...c'min'...I 'm no' l'vable, I 'm r'pl'c'…able."

He makes you keep going, repeating those 4 sentences until you literally can't make sound anymore, a fact he tests by seeing how much it takes to get you to scream. You pass out before he gets anywhere.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ghost?"

"Simon?"

"Please."

"Why are you not coming for me?"

just FYI if the timing seems disjointed and the speech is wierd, that is intentiweird,

anyways I hope you liked it!!!!

[milfsloverblog]

Secret Benefits (part 4)

Previous part here

Sugar mommy!Larissa Weems x fem!reader

A/N: Guess who’s back, back again. I know, I know. It’s been a while. Life has been a crazy ride in the last couple of months and I just didn’t have the heart to be writing anything. But I thought it’d be nice to gift you this chapter as a new year present. Have fun! ps: this contains ANGST. You’ve been warned. Enjoy <3

You could tell that The Paragon was another one of those ridiculously expensive restaurants as soon as you set foot inside. High ceilings, heavy velvet curtains hanging by the windows, paintings on the walls.

You took a deep breath and slid your hand into Larissa’s, intertwining your fingers with hers. It felt reassuring, feeling her skin against yours and knowing that she was there with you. Or that you were there with her.

A waiter quickly walked your way, flashing the two of you a bright smile before leading you to a table. You felt a couple of stares as you walked past the other seated people and realised what they were probably thinking about. A young woman with an older one, holding hands. You hadn’t even asked Larissa if this was okay - holding her hand in public. Holding hands like a couple would. That thought made you pull your hand away from Larissa’s as if you’d been burnt, much to Larissa’s dismay.

You sat down at the table and Larissa followed suit, sitting down in front of you. The older woman smiled when you didn’t bother opening the menu that had been handed to you by the waiter, knowing full well she’d be picking whatever you’d be eating.

Good girl, she thought as her blue eyes bore into yours before dropping to the menu in her hands.

Seared scallops with a saffron sauce as a main and a white chocolate and raspberry semifredo for dessert, that’s what she had picked for you that night.

Dinner went like it did last time, Larissa was always more willing to listen to you talking about your life rather than share about hers.

The tall woman chuckled softly when you pushed some semifredo in your mouth, making you look at her.

“What?”

“You have some-“ Larissa didn’t finish her sentence, choosing instead to reach out and wipe the bit of cream from the corner of your mouth with her thumb.

Almost instinctively, your lips parted. Larissa’s breath hitched, her heart doing that damn fluttering thing in her chest. You looked so beautiful, she thought. So open to her, so inviting.

Without thinking about it twice, she pushed the tip of her finger between your parted lips. And without thinking about it twice, your tongue licked the pad of her thumb clean.

A shiver ran down Larissa’s spine and she pulled her hand away from your lips, leaving you with your mouth half open and a questioning look on your face.

“Larissa, I-“ you started apologising but the older woman cut you off, raising her hand to catch the waiter’s attention.

You stayed quiet as she paid the bill, following when she stood up and buttoned up her blazer. You weren’t sure what you had done exactly to warrant her whole demeanour to change, but it was clear that you had messed up.

She was still silent when you sat down by her side in the car, seemingly lost in her own thoughts as she drove away from the restaurant.

Larissa was as lost as you were, thousands of thoughts rushing through her mind as she remembered everything that had happened that day. This was nothing more than a beneficial agreement - she found herself thinking for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day.

She was still quiet by the time she dropped you off at your place, reaching for the envelope inside the glove compartment and carefully placing it on your lap.

“Larissa, you don’t have to-“

“I know. But that’s what we agreed on, I’m paying you for your time.”

You gave a slight nod and pushed the envelope inside your handbag.

“Well,” you started, turning a little to face Larissa who kept her gaze outside the windshield. “Thank you for today.”

The older woman nodded and gently squeezed your knee without looking at you.

For a second you wondered if that was it, if this was the last time you’d see her. And then it hit you, the sudden urge to lunge at her and pull her into a kiss. Maybe it would wipe the worry off her pretty blue eyes and the pout off her crimson lips. But you didn’t kiss her, choosing instead to mutter a quiet “goodnight” before getting out of the car.

You didn’t see Larissa again after that night, at least not for a while. She didn’t contact you anymore, not even a single text to ask how you were doing. And maybe, you thought, maybe that was for the best. Sure, money was tight again but…

“Fuck!” You dropped the letter on your coffee table. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You were fucked.

“What do you mean you don’t do instalments?!” You snapped at the woman on the other side of the phone that was pressed to your ear. “Yes, yes I get that! I get that it’s my fault but-“ you groaned when the woman cut you off again to remind you for the third time that you had missed part of the payment for your college fees and you had to pay for the remaining amount as soon as possible.

“For god’s sake, I’m a college student! Where do you think I’ll find two thousand dollars before Friday?! No, no my parents won’t-“ you pinched the bridge of your nose and took a deep breath. It was clear that the conversation wasn’t going anywhere, so you thanked the woman for her time and hung up.

You were fucked.

Asking your parents for help was useless, you already knew that. Maybe you could pick up a few more shifts at the bar but that meant you’d have to skip some classes and even then you would never gather that much money in a few days. And then it hit you. There was someone in your life who did have that kind of money.

You sighed loudly and sat down on the couch, staring at the phone that was still in your hand. You couldn’t just text Larissa asking her for two grand, not after you hadn’t talked to each other in weeks. No, you’d have to come up with a plan. And so you did.

It was a fairly simple plan. You texted Larissa asking how she was doing and chatting for a while before you offered to see each other. “A drink at my place,” you said. You knew that Larissa was attracted to you, a blind person could have told you that. Were you attracted to her though? You shook your head to get rid of the thought. It didn’t matter if you were attracted or not, all that mattered was that she was.

She had arrived at your place that evening with a bottle of Chardonnay. “I hate showing up empty-handed.” She’d told you when you said you had a couple of red wine bottles in the cupboard.

Larissa was a vision, as always. A beige-coloured coat that she shrugged off her shoulders to reveal a tight dress of the exact same beige fabric. Her hair was tied in one of those intricate updos, like the ones you’d seen in old movies, and her lips painted a darker shade of red. She was a vision.

“Make yourself comfortable, please.” You smiled and gestured towards the sofa. After a few seconds of hesitation, you opted to open a bottle of red. You had a feeling Larissa had a preference for it.

“There,” You said, placing the two glasses on the coffee table and sitting down next to the older woman. “Had a good day at work?”

“I did, it could have been worse.” Larissa gently clinked her glass against yours and took a swig of wine. She never shared much about her work which only made you more curious.

She asked about your day and you told her about it, avoiding mentioning the astronomical bill you had to pay.

“I’m glad you could come tonight.” You smiled and took a sip.

“I’m glad you invited me, I know it’s not an easy thing to let people into our space.”

“You’re right, but I trust you.“ How ironic. “It’s not much, but it’s home.” You added, looking around your living room.

Larissa hummed and took another sip of wine, uncrossing her legs and crossing them again.

“Do you live in a house?” You asked, hoping to learn more about her.

“I…No, it’s a bit complicated. I have my own apartments at work.” Larissa explained, visibly ill at ease.

“It’s fine, I know you don’t like sharing about your private life.” You pushed a small smile and carefully placed your hand on Larissa’s leg, right above her knee where the soft fabric of her dress gave way to her alabaster skin.

“Thank you,” Larissa whispered, adjusting herself so she could look at you.

You felt bad at the thought of what you were about to do. Your stomach twisting in your belly as Larissa’s gaze bore into yours. You liked her. You couldn’t do this.

Almost as a reflex you lifted your hand and emptied your drink to give yourself more courage.

“May I kiss you?” It left your lips without you even thinking about it.

Larissa’s eyes widened to the point where she looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a fast-approaching car.

Well, that did not go as you had expected.

The silence was almost too unbearable so you cleared your throat and moved to get up from the couch, hoping to pour yourself another glass of wine when slender fingers wrapped around your forearm and yanked you back down. Next thing you knew Larissa’s lips were crashing against yours, her right hand finding purchase on your cheek and pulling you impossibly closer.

“Yes,” she whispered out of breath when she eventually pulled away from you, her red lipstick smudged around her mouth up to the tip of her nose. “Yes, you may kiss me. And you may not stop.”

Larissa couldn’t help but notice the way your pupils dilated in reaction to her words. So you did want her. You wanted her like she wanted you and that made the woman’s heart swell in her chest.

“Kiss me again.” A demand that you couldn’t say no to, really. And so you kissed her again. And again. And again. Until she pulled you so you’d straddle her thighs and her lips eventually left yours, busying themselves on leaving red marks along your jaw and down your neck.

“Larissa-“ it came out as a strangled cry, your fingertips gently tugging on the woman’s hair and messing up her neat updo.

“Stop me if I go too far.” She whispered against your skin as her hands slipped under your dress to caress your thighs.

You weren’t sure if this was still part of your plan. Sure, you had hoped to seduce her thinking it might make her more susceptible to lend you the money but maybe this was actually going too far.

“I need two grand-“ it was out of your mouth in less than a second and Larissa’s hand instantly stilled their movements.

“What ?” She huffed in disbelief.

“I-I need two grand for a bill, but I’ll pay you back! I swear!”

Larissa huffed again and shook her head, her hands moving to her hair in an attempt to fix her updo - or perhaps to ground herself, you weren’t sure.

“This is why you called me here, isn’t it?”

You quickly stood up from the woman’s thighs and fixed your dress.

“No! Of course not-“ you swallowed thickly as she rose to her full height and towered over you.

Larissa’s face was flushed and you could tell it wasn’t the same flush as a few minutes before. No, this time she was furious.

“Larissa, Listen-“ You tried, taking a step back and watching her take one forward.

“No!” She growled with a severity that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. “It’s your turn to listen.”

You took another step back as she took one closer, then another one, until she had you trapped against the fridge.

“You lied to me,” she said. “You made me come here, made me believe that you wanted to spend time with me. But all you care about is my money, isn’t it?” Larissa hissed, baring her teeth like a rabid dog. “You would sell your body like some cheap whore on the street.”

“And you would buy it!” You snapped, unable to let her bite you without biting her back.

“No, that’s where you’re wrong. I wouldn’t. I don’t mind paying for your time, your company. But this? No. It would feel like using you, and I already feel guilty enough as it is. Although you obviously don’t mind using me.” Larissa took a step back and reached inside her handbag, pulling out her chequebook and opening it.

“What are you-“ you started, only to be cut off by the older woman.

“I care.” Larissa simply said as she wrote the cheque. “And I thought-“ she slightly shook her head and handed you the cheque. Two thousand dollars. “Yes, I thought.” She repeated before giving a nod and putting her beige coat back on.

“Larissa,” you tried, gently wrapping your hand around her bicep.

“No,” she shook her head again and pulled away. “You’ve played me. You won’t see me again, sweetling.” It was said without any animosity. Instead, you found that her blue eyes were filled with melancholy as if she had been through this before and life was just repeating itself.

I’m sorry, you wanted to say, I’m sorry I lied to you and manipulated you. And I’m sorry to be hurting you.

You wanted to rip the cheque into pieces, to show her that it didn’t matter. But it did. You needed the money or you’d be kicked out of college. But, Larissa. Larissa, Larissa, Larissa. Larissa and her melancholy-filled eyes. I’m not like the ones who’ve hurt you before, you wanted to shout. But you were. Perhaps you were even worse than them.

Larissa and her melancholy-filled eyes.

Larissa and her warmth-filled laugh.

Larissa and her love-filled kisses.

Love-filled kisses.

Oh, god.

Of course.

You hadn’t realised it. Not before that moment. Larissa didn’t just like you. She had feelings for you.

“Larissa!” You exclaimed, snapping out of your thoughts only to find your apartment empty.

She was gone.

You were fucked.

————————————————————————

Taglist: @raspburrythief @weemssapphic @readingtheentrails @larissaoftarthweems @principal-weems09 @kimiinou @winterfireblond @im-a-carnivorous-plant @geekyarmorel @h-doodles @azu-zu @barbarasstar @witchesmortuary @m1lflov3rrr @dumbasslesbi @crow-raven-crow @fridays-coven @lilfartbox1 @shawncantwrite @autumn-leaves-chasing-breeze @gwens0girl @aemilia19 @the-bagel24 @lvinhs @thefutureisus2020 @gela123 @a-queen-and-her-throne @rando-mango @wheresmyboo @my-silver-spring @hillary-nicks @ablsk @natasha29romanoff @tallvampirelady12 @canyoufeelmyheartsayinghi @i-love-nerdy-stuff @1-800-milfdilf @scarlettssub @jasperobsidian-blog @i-write-sometimes-maybe @brienne-the-brave @slytherinthepms @non-binary-frogking @wife-of-gwendolinechristie @anjo-iludidoefudido @imnotafruitt @opheliauniverse

[jpsolace]

I finally finished another drawing! And it's angst! So have some angst order 66 Cody art. And remember, if you live in denial, the clones never, ever, got hurt 🥲

[sparkles-rule-4eva]

I'm aware this is random timing but I've wanted to analyze this scene ever since I saw it and I was rewatching the Frontiers cutscenes so I decided "why not now" lol

This scene right here.

First of all, I'd like to say that Sonic & Tails's interactions throughout this entire game are IMMACULATE. And while I've seen some people complain that Tails "wasn't concerned enough" at the fact that Sonic was so clearly sick, this scene begs to differ.

It also shows, in both a good way and a sad way, how well Tails knows his big brother.

The entire time before, Sonic's been (for the mostpart) going around with a front. Pretending he's fine and brushing aside everyone's worries about him to turn the focus instead on THEM and THEIR problems, not his. ESPECIALLY with Tails. And this little fox knows probably better than anyone that Sonic doesn't like it when people fuss over him. So he's been playing along. Doing his part, doing the best he could in his digitized state, staying busy and all the jazz.

And sure, a couple times before this, Sonic was acting more tired than usual around Tails, but Tails didn't point it out. And he still doesn't point it out here, but his expression and body language say it all.

Now the corruption's getting worse, and Tails is just about done pretending along with Sonic that everything's fine. This time, unlike the last two times when Sonic had defeated a Titan when Super Sonic had flown down to find Amy and Knuckles, Tails is the one who runs to find him afterward.

He's clearly very worried, especially when Sonic barely acknowledges his presence and is really just doing his best not to keel over at this point. Tails reaches out in a vain attempt to touch him — whether to comfort him or help him up, I'm not sure — but still cannot touch him at all for obvious reasons. He pulls back and just watches him intently with this deeply sad, almost regretful look on his face. The End starts talking again and Sonic lifts his head a little to listen, while Tails just quietly shakes his head as he looks at him. As if he's saying, "Please don't do more, please just take a rest, I want you to be okay." 😢 Or it could just as easily be a sad sort of understanding, a resignation to what Sonic does, like, "I want you to rest, we both know you need it, but I know you, I know you'd sooner run yourself to death before you let us stay trapped any longer. And I can't do anything to stop you." 💔

And then, after having his fists clenched in obvious distress, Tails tries to reach out again, one more time. Almost unconsciously, as Sonic looks up to where the voice is coming from. Almost like he does want to stop him. He opens his mouth for a moment, too, like he wants to say something, but bites it back at the last second.

Then he pulls away again. His face is nothing but sadness and worry. Sonic tries making a quip at The End's new instructions, but he's still so clearly exhausted.

It's also interesting how Sonic won't look at Tails this whole scene, until Tails asks in that tiny, scared voice, "Sonic?" and he stands up, tells him to hang tight, reassure him they're almost done. Trying so hard to play the part of strong older brother even here, when Tails can so easily see how sick he is. 😔

Their dynamic will always be so fascinating and sweet to me. Even in these darker, more painful moments, the familial love they have for each other is beautiful. 💙💛💔

[essektheylyss]

did someone actually hate on your fave? or did they neutrally attribute a trait to them that you've unnecessarily negatively moralized and you hurt own feelings about it? or, perhaps, did you project too hard and now interpret even mild critique or simple acknowledgement of interesting character flaws as an ad hominem attack on yourself?

[wwxsflutesolo]

"Chuuya. Come to your senses. Our fate will not end in a place like this. Because you and I are destined to—"

@/kedreeva// ernest hemingway - the old man and the sea// death cab for cutie - summer years// unknown// unknown// lidia yuknavitch - the chronology of water: a memoir// richard siken - saying your names// taylor swift - gorgeous// unknown// victor hugo - les miserables// jeanette winterson - lighthousekeeping// sylvia Plath - lady lazarus// margaret atwood - power politics// tory adkisson - Anecdote of the Pig//richard siken - planet of love, wishbone// ethel cain - hard times// margaret atwood - variations on the word love

[predninja]

Scars he gave to her, scars he gained for her, so long as there was forgiveness, everything would be okay

Timelapse on my patreon

[madarasgirl]

His Immortal

Permission to use art from the INCREDIBLY talented @vanerchest. Feeling very honoured! I think about this piece often whenever I write Alucard angst.

C/W: Alucard (Ultimate) x senior!Reader, angst, on death and dying, hospital setting, hurt/no comfort, shadow writing. Inspired by the legendary song "My Immortal" by Evanescence Words: 998

You supposed you were the one who was selfish for choosing this mortal fate and leaving your greatest love behind.

Did you regret this path? Sometimes you thought perhaps you did. There would have been tons to gain by becoming an ageless vampire at his side, and on occasion, you used to speculate 'what if?'

It didn't matter. It was far too late to backtrack anyways, and it would be an insult to do so, after living such a beautiful, full lifetime spent with Alucard, teeming with precious memories and magical experiences. He aged with you through the decades –at least he made it so his appearance did.

But as with all mortals who lived long enough, you too eventually grew very old, frail, and sick. Your body betrayed you and no longer belonged to you. It didn't obey when you wanted to walk, speak, eat, or even breathe.

So here you lay in a hospital bed, intubated and sedated, machines replacing the function of vital organs while multiple drugs dripped nonstop to hold you captive in this realm. What a sight you made, with tubes protruding from every corner on your skeletal form.

Your body may have failed, but fortunately you never developed dementia. Your mental faculties were as crisp as the night you met so long ago. A piece of you was still buried within, floating from above and somehow aware of the happenings around you in your comatose state.

The various alarms and buzzing were only background noises by now, and there was little commotion this time as well, but you felt a sense of relief. Sighing inwardly, you wished Alu would leave your side for a moment so you could just die already, though you knew that was an empty hope. The vampire had not parted from the bedside your entire stay.

Was he scaring the nurses by crying again? You hoped he'd remember to make them forget this time. And not to terrorize the staff and force them to do whatever it took anymore. You recalled the time you surfaced with another set of thick tubes in your neck and groin, and how painful they were. How frightening it was.

"You must live," he whispered to you at night at first. For his sake. So you did, trapped in the confines of your weathered shell, you continued to exist for him, slowly spiralling downhill until now.

With any other man, you'd be helpless to communicate in your vegetative state, but Alucard had never been as mediocre as 'normal.' So you begged him through telepathy. After all these years, reaching for his mind was as easy as sifting through your own thoughts, as natural as breathing (well, back when you were still able to do so independently). You implored him again to let you go. You were terminal and old, with no hope for recovery or any good prognosis. Being connected to every form of life support was not life, just a sad fate that prolonged your suffering and delayed your inevitable expiration.

Long ago, he promised not to let you suffer.

Alu, please don't make them bring me back again when my heart stops.

The weary, congested muscle thudded weakly towards failure. You were already dead in every way except you still possessed vital signs. The numbers were just evidence of the drugs, transfusions, and machines at work though.

The irony wasn't lost on you. At the end of the road, after declining his many offers to turn you when you were a maiden, you were finally just like Alucard, the living dead. You'd laugh if you could.

...More than anything, you didn't want him to see you like this, a husk of the vibrant woman you once were when you fell for each other. The unlikely circumstances of your meeting and scenes from your life flashed by in an instant. The vampire would tell you throughout the decades, when he'd get in one of his romantic moods, that you'd always be his sprightly young woman no matter your age. He actually only told you again yesterday. Or was it last week? 

How long have you been laying here?

The mind's eye saw his seated figure clearly and smiled. Actually, your tired mind pondered, you certainly did not regret a moment of your life with Alucard. He was the perfect partner and his unchecked devotion never gave you a reason to regret choosing him. Your lifespan was too short for that, he used to tell you.

But you regretted leaving him behind to be alone once more.

--------------------

Your heart stopped. And he loved you enough to let you go.

You were free.

Your spirit lifted from the prison of your flesh and you soared, wrapping around your love with your incorporeal form, sinking into him and caressing the unbeating heart that had ever belonged to you. This time, you wiped away the blood tears that fell.

You quivered.

Liberated from the pains and illnesses of advanced age, it was as if you'd become new and for the first time ever, like the fog lifted and you could finally see with clarity. Your non-existent chest tightened at the sight of your love crushed by your death, looking utterly devastated and lost. There was no sobbing or outward breakdown, but you knew his expressions well.

Nebulous fingers smoothed over inky black locks while you cradled his cheek. Glistening eyes the colour of polished rubies stared blankly at your lifeless corpse, your chest still rising and falling mechanically before the ventilator was turned off. He could not feel your soothing touch anymore and it broke you.

...

You will watch over your vampire from above and wait for him for the rest of your eternity, until he returned to dust and was no more. Then you'd meet him wherever he ended up. Just as he was, you were bound by the life you left behind.

And even if he was unaware, he still had all of you.

~End~

(For more angsty romance, check out my one-shot “Without You” on AO3. Warning: Smut abounds in that one. It is about the occasion when Reader chooses to remain human for her remaining days with Alucard. You will find similar themes to this short scene)

[mediumgayitalian]

y’all i cannot stop fucking thinking about it. will with his big blue eyes, youngest of them all, completely musically untalented and rhythmically challenged but by the gods does he understand the human body. following lee around holding his quiver and rattling off whatever he just learned from watching michael in the infirmary. doted on by his big siblings. talking for hours about a galaxy far far away with heroes who choose to save the world, aren’t forced to, hey, they’re heroes, just like you, lee! and his siblings have dreams, they know the prophecies, they look at their little brother and they know he will be alone. they don’t know why or how yet but they can feel in their very soul that he will be out in the stupid world with all its hatred and violence and he will have to defend himself. and he can’t shoot straight and he cries when he hurts someone in training, and all he wants to do is help, and he doesn’t understand that people can be cruel and they will take his kindness and bleed him dry. and a war is coming. they can feel it. do you think they would be desperate? for themselves as much as will? i don’t know how long i will live. i don’t know how long i have left. but you will be there, son of phoebus. i know you will. remember me, okay? remember how i loved you. remember how we loved each other, remember how we healed and fought and cared. please. please, will, remember us. and remember how we loved you.

[fishareglorious]

i do a light chuckle once i remember hofmann and semmelweis are friends but then i remember semmelweis and marcus' suitcase interaction where they talk about her and i am once again inconsolable about this old woman's death

[merakiui]

SKULLY HAS RAIDED MERA'S BLOG!!!???

Skully over shining Zuzu?

UNFORTUNATELY...... yes,,, (˃̣̣̥ᯅ˂̣̣̥) WAAAA I AM SO SORRY, ZUZU!!!! My heart is just too big and I fell for the dead guy with his Victorian rizz and kiss addiction. I couldn't help it...... he charmed me. This obsession is terrible, dear Izuna!!!! OTL he's completely taken over my brain,,, a parasite that I can't shake!! >:(

He's so precious,,, my beloved King of Halloween, oh how I adore you most ardently. <3 I wish him nothing but peace and happiness forever hehe.

[miusato]

It doesn't look like it here but they actually get along pretty well :]

[papertowness]

admittedly one of my favorite things about house ( that also drives me up a wall ) is that something Really Big happens and then the next episode they like loosely mention it like wow wasn’t it crazy that that happened . anyway haha

[willowandthesagaofgayyearning]

Ever thought about how Mccoy is the type of guy that both Spock and Jim know he loves them and both Spock and Jim outwardly say the words but Bones is never able to say it out loud and regrets it long after both the others are dead and has always regretted it