#angsty buck is my comfort trope

[kenneth-black]

No wonder Buck has abandonment issues smh 🫠

[jamminvroomvroom]

Hey girlll I love your blog so so so much! Congrats on the 4k bc you absolutely deserve it🫶🏼

I just had a little angsty request for Charles lando or Oscar (you can pick any you’re feeling more atm, I eat up anything ab my boys)

I saw this prompt maybe you could use - - "I can be there when you need me!" "But I did, and you weren't."

late night talking.

op x fem norris!reader

in which lando’s little sister has been sneaking around with his teammate, but it’s starting to have its challenges…

hiiiii thank u sm anon! love this request love you MWAH! so appreciative of this request and all of the others and that y’all trust me to bring your ideas to life!! i hope this hits the way you wanted it to! let me know what you think, big love 🤍

songs to set the mood: late night talking by harry styles, i love you by billie eilish, over my head by james marriott, if these walls could talk by 5sos

warnings: 18+!! minors dni!! smut, angst, fluff, a bit of hurt/comfort, secret relationship, brothers teammate trope (r is lando’s sister), fingering, morning sex, angsty needy sex, lando being an embarrassing little shit

4.1k words

sex and talking. sex and talking. sex and talking.

that’s what you do, oscar and you.

you watch him all weekend, eyes trailing his lean frame, the way his body moves under papaya fabric. then, when your brother finally leaves you alone, you sneak into oscar’s arms, room, bed, whatever’s closest.

you have your way with one another, nothing untouched, unexplored, and then you talk and talk until your lips hurt from stretched out grins and a satisfying ache sets into your spent limbs. you sneak out when the sun comes up the next day and join lando for breakfast in whatever hotel you’re in that weekend.

rinse, repeat.

you can remember the first time you saw him in real life, way back in early 2023, clear as day. you were in bahrain with your brother for testing, the sun in your eyes, and there he was. awkward, stocky, hands buried deep in his mclaren administered slacks. he was littered with moles, mousey brown hair catching the rays of light, chocolate eyes conveying cool confidence that didn’t at all match up with his uncomfortable stance. you could kiss over those moles like a game of dot to dot, tug on his strands that looked like smooth chocolate frosting, sink into his brown irises until you drowned.

lando had caught you staring, sending his elbow into your ribs, and when you turned to glare at him, cuss him out, you saw a look of warning. his eyes said: don’t you fucking dare.

and you didn’t dare, not for a while at least.

-

“o-osc.” you whine, panting through the waves of eye-watering pleasure.

he’s got you laid out across his massage table, two fingers scissoring into your sodden cunt as his thumb bumps your clit in messy circles.

it’s rare that you sneak away so brazenly like this during a race weekend.

“you gotta be quiet.” oscar shushes you, eyes flitting between your own watery pair and his fingers where they’re working you open.

“trying.” you breathe, slapping your own hand over your mouth when your belly tightens one last time. one wrong move and the entirety of the hospitality suite will know. lando will know. perhaps all of china will know. that’s how good he fucking feels.

you sob into your palm, bucking your hips wildly as you fall apart, spilling all around his relentless fingers. he fucks you through it, grinning coyly as your muffled cries subside.

“c’mere.” oscar lulls, pulling you back towards him. he kisses you deeply, smiling against your lips.

“i should go.” you mumble, pushing his hair back and raking your fingers through his hair.

oscar nods apathetically, reserved all of the sudden. you frown, stealing another quick kiss. you stumble to your feet fixing your underwear and your skirt, and grab your bag from the small sofa.

“we need to be more careful.” his words make your blood run cold.

“more careful?”

you sneak in and out of hotel rooms under the cover of night, you have his name disguised in your phone, you never speak to him in public.

“this was risky.” oscar shrugs. he looks antsy, his entire demeanour changing in a matter of minutes, the ecstasy of watching you writhe all for him worn off.

“this- i- you’re the one who dragged me in here, piastri.” you accuse. ‘piastri’ is reserved for when you’re pissed off, a cagey step back from the affection ‘osc’ that you usually called him. “whatever, i’ve got to go.”

“i’ll see you later?” he poses it as a question, uncertain that you’ll show. he has never been uncertain before, not with you, not with a lot of things. bile rises in your throat, and you scoff.

you can’t reply. the door slams behind you.

-

“where’ve you been?” lando ruffles your hair, a single eyebrow raised suspiciously.

“got bored with watching you look at data so i went for a walk.” you reply nonchalantly, pushing his hand away.

he hums in response, nodding slowly. it’s like he doesn’t quite believe you but he quickly moves on.

“you coming out with us after the race tomorrow?” lando asks.

“depends on who ‘us’ is.” you reply curtly. you don’t wanna look at oscar’s stupid, handsome face for a second longer than you have to. a familiar sadness sinks into your bones.

“couple of the drivers, alex, carlos, oh and oscar might even be swayed.” you grit your teeth, suddenly frustrated. “anyway, since when do you have beef with drivers? little miss sunshine fallen out with someone?” lando sounds confused, accusatory.

you stay silent, walking into the back of the garage, praying someone will come and steal your brother away.

“hey, you gonna tell me what the problem i-?”

“lando, we need you to look at this.” your brother gets cut off by a frantic engineer, your prayers answered, and is quickly lost to the chaos of the garage.

a pair of warm eyes burn into the side of your head. you turn to see oscar watching you, his eyebrows furrowed as if he’s studying you. he’s fidgeting, playing with his fingers, something strange for the man as cool as a cucumber. you look away as quickly as you can, managing to tear your eyes away from him, a lump forming in your throat which you swallow down.

it’s painful, really. sex and talking, it’s not enough, never has been for even a second. oscar piastri, australian f1 driver, number 81, quickly became your oscar, somewhat against your will.

-

somewhere in hungary, about 8 months ago

“are we really doing this, piastri?” you giggle, throwing your head back as his lips work your neck.

“need you.” he groans into your skin, low and needy. you’ve never heard him sound so disheveled, so desperate, a far cry from his usual, monotonous self.

“want you, osc.” you pant when his lips find your sweet spot, the feeling of him so delicious on your body.

“have me.” he whispers, falling into bed with you in his lap.

you lay there basking in stunned silence afterwards, a layer of sweat coating your knackered body. your shoulder is pressed flush with oscar’s, not an inch of space between you while you both stare at the ceiling, sporting matching lazy grins.

“i can’t believe we did that.” oscar mutters, a layer of disbelief in his voice.

“i think we should do it again.” you tease, except you are deadly serious.

“agreed.” he breathes.

“this stays between us, right?” you whisper, shyly.

“always.”

-

always makes your skin crawl now. you’re sick of having him in the dark, of having to avoid him in public for fear of turning into a lovesick fool. it’s embarrassing, really, unrequited love.

you can barely follow qualifying, staring blankly at the empty space in the garage where oscar’s car resides. you manage to catch the radio message through the headset you have on, the one where oscar’s muttering about a stupid mistake that’s just knocked him out. he’s limping back to the pits, licking his wounds.

you feel a pang in your chest, sympathetic and disappointed for him. you wonder what his mistake was, where his mind was. you’ll wait for the right moment, swallow the ache in your heart and your pride, and you’ll comfort him. he gets led away by frustrated engineers immediately, studying lines of data with furrowed eyebrows. you watch from afar, but then your heart sinks to your feet when four words sound through your headphones.

“lando, are you okay?”

will sounds stressed, repeating the four words that make your world stop spinning on its axis. everyone in the garage is staring at the tv screen, breaths held, stomachs tight.

your brothers car sits in tatters, carbon fibre littering the track. you can see the fluorescents of his helmet burrowed in the cockpit, still. your mouth hangs open, one hand clutching your chest, the other covering your quivering lips. you’re numb.

that feeling returns, the one of eyes burning into your weathered features. your wide eyes flit to the australian boy watching you from across the garage, and you beg silently for him to just come to you, pull you close, tell you that lando is okay and that he loves you back.

and lando is okay, his winded voice reassuring you over the radio.

but you stand there alone.

just like always.

-

somewhere in brazil, about 5 months ago

“what’s your favourite colour?” oscar mumbles lazily, lips bumping your cheekbone.

you’re curled up on his lap watching the sunset from his balcony. he was well behind lando after qualifying, and he’d craved a moment alone with you all day.

the air was thick, humid, the hot orange sun sinking far off in the horizon. you turn to face him, his features illuminated by the hazy glow. the sunlight makes his chocolate eyes sparkle warmly, so pretty.

“brown.” you whisper, scanning his face.

he laughs lowly, his chest rumbling.

“brown?” he questions teasingly.

“yep.” you grin, pecking his lips softly.

“why?”

“go look at those pretty eyes of yours in the mirror.” you retort smoothly, threading your fingers through his shower-damp strands.

“you flirting with me?”

“you bet i am.”

you twist back around, facing the view once more, moulding into his body. he kisses over your shoulder, resting his chin. you stay there content until the sun is gone and the stars twinkle.

-

the air in the room is thick, awkwardly silent.

he stands leaning against the desk, opposite where you sit on your bed. the lights are low in your hotel room, the imprint of your body still fresh against the mattress. you’d been crying when he knocked, eyes rimmed red, skin flushed raw.

“you just stood there.” you croak.

“love, i-“

“don’t call me that. please.”

hurt flashes across his features, but like he knows it’s not fair of him to complain, he buries it immediately.

“i just… will you hear me out?” oscar pleads quietly.

you nod feebly.

“it’s impossible. this, us. i wanted to go to you but i- i couldn’t, i didn’t know how that would look and i didn’t want to jeopardise this.”

“but you did.” you whisper. his face shatters, falling fast.

“no, no, i can be there when you need me-“

“but you weren’t!” you cry, your body physically sinking, your shoulders drooping.

“i can fix this, i will.”

“i think we need to stop this, osc. it’s too painful for me. i’ve tried to move past the hurt but after today…” your voice shakes and you crumble, the first tear falling.

“i’m not trying to hurt you.” he crosses the space between you in two rushed steps, collapsing to his knees before you.

“that’s not good enough.” you bite back. “i’m not going to be some guys dirty little secret. i won’t do it anymore oscar.”

“i was trying to protect you… this.” he gestures between you desperately

“i know, oscar. i know! but i never asked you to do that. i can’t love you in a hotel room for the rest of my life.” the words slip from your tongue, abrasive and messy, before your brain can catch up.

you grimace, biting your tongue, but oscar’s reaction couldn’t be further from your own. his watery eyes widen, pink lips pulling into a boyish grin.

“i don’t want to love you in a hotel room for the rest of my life either.” oscar whispers, tentatively taking your hands. you stare down at your slowly intertwining fingers, a familiar warmth oozing through your body. “i wanna love you everywhere.”

“show me.” you murmur through shaky breath.

“i will.” he leans in, leaning in to kiss your shoulder. “for as long as you let me, i will.”

“just come here.” your fingers find the hairs at the nape of his neck, pulling him into a kiss, one born of frustration, and longing, and a year of late night talking about everything except how much you love each other.

oscar pushes you back onto the bed, crawling over you, starving. you pull him flush against you, leaving no room between your bodies. you crave the feel of his entire weight pressing you into the mattress and as he does, you feel at home. when you pull apart, catching your breaths, he says it properly, for the first time, and the world gets lighter.

“i love you.” oscar cups your jaw, those chocolate eyes boring into yours, the intensity of it knocking you for six. “always.” he adds.

the meaning of the word changes. always doesn’t mean a shameful, taboo secret anymore. life is breathed into the six lettered word; always means you and him, together, finally out of the shadows.

“i love you, osc.” you whisper.

he’s smiling when he kisses you again, unbuttoning your blouse like he’ll die if he doesn’t get the offending item off of your frame. you retaliate by shoving his t-shirt up his back, tugging greedily at it to strip him bare. the material comes off easily and as he sits up to throw it away, you shrug off your blouse and it meets his shirt on the floor. his hands smooth over your curves, brushing the pudge of your belly as he finds the zip of your skirt, ruining the fasten in his state of haste. you barely notice the way he’s ruined the item of clothing, urgently unbuttoning his jeans. your underwear is gone too, nothing separating you but your bra, restless hands on heated skin.

“we need to be quiet.” you breathe. “lando’s next door.” oscar giggles, tinged pink.

“get on top, love.” he drawls, flipping onto his back and taking you with him.

he sits up with you in his lap, nothing anchoring either of you in the middle of the bed. the imprint of your devastated form is gone, replaced by the shape of him. you can feel the head of his cock nudging through your folds, slicking him up so that he can slide nice and deep. he trails his fingers between your legs, thumbing at your clit in deft circles, just the way he knows you like it. you’re mewling in his lap, grinding down on the pad of his thumb; it’s so good but it’s not enough.

“please, osc.” you pant, urging him to let you sink down on his cock. you can see how red it is, feel the way it throbs for you, and the need to be full of him is almost paralysing.

“come on, pretty girl. fill yourself up.” oscar mutters against the shell of your ear.

he kisses down your throat as you slide down on him, dropping your hips firm against his.

“fuck.” you cry, your forehead falling against his shoulder.

“you okay, sweetheart? feel so good for me.” oscar coos, his fingertips digging hard into your hips.

“so good, baby.” your head rolls back, feeling him hit that spot tucked away within your walls.

your breaths mingle, your breasts flush against his chest, and as if he realises that he never stripped you of your pesky bra, he grunts, unclasping the black lace and flinging it somewhere far away. he gently mumbles an awestruck “fuck”, as if he hasn’t seen your tits a million and one times before, and latches onto your nipple. his tongue works in slow circles, matching the pace of your hips working languidly on his cock, and you keen further into his body.

“prettiest girl for me.” oscar grits out, his eyes squeezing shut when you clamp down on him, hard.

you’re both trying so hard to be quiet, overwhelmed by touch and taste, love. you’re growing tired, hurtling towards a desperate release, and oscar can sense it, the feel of your quivering thighs tightening around his hips spurring him on. he grinds up into you, maintaining your pace, but he’s fucking you harder now, the anticipation of your release sending shivers down his spine.

“you gonna cum for me?” oscar grunts, holding your hips down against him. you can’t move, his hold too tight and your body too tired, all you can do is wait for your orgasm to hit like a ton of bricks. you nod frantically.

“yes, oscar, please baby.” you beg for it, and like the true gentleman he is, the calloused pad of his pointer finger finds its home on your clit, sending you into an upwards spiral.

it’s as if you’re levitating when you let go, in a dreamlike state, your teeth sinking hard into his pale shoulder to muffle a surefire whine of his name. he’s rutting into you, prolonging the bliss.

“cum inside of me.” you urge, voice barely above a whisper. well, you’ve certainly never done this before.

oscar’s eyes roll into the back of his head, tears pricking his lash line. a guttural gasp of your name spills from his lips when he lets go, painting your insides warm and white. you stare at the tiny indents your teeth had left on his thick shoulder, his breath hitting the crook of your neck warm and wet as he comes down.

“‘m yours, and i’m here. i’m always gonna be here, i promise.” oscar speaks so quietly that you wonder if you’ve imagined it.

-

“when i made that mistake today, i was thinking about you.”

you’ve been laying there in silence for a while now, tucked under his arm when he speaks. you turn to look at him, perplexed.

“what?”

“i felt so awful about what i said after we, you know. you looked so upset with me, and i don’t blame you.” oscar sighs.

“i just don’t want to feel like a shameful secret, osc.” you tell him quietly, the words heavy on your tongue.

“you won’t, not anymore. ‘m so sorry, sweetheart.” he lulls, kissing over your hairline.

“how do we make this work? and how are we ever gonna explain this to-“

“lando.” oscar cuts you off, shifting uncomfortable. “he’s going to murder me and my entire bloodline.” he chuckles nervously.

“he won’t murder you. he might put you in a gravel trap, though.” you roll onto your side, smiling teasingly up at him and he rolls his eyes.

“i’ll take the heat. you’re worth it.”

-

“promise me.” you pant, his hips grinding into you. you’re curled into his chest, still spooning and barely awake. he’d woken up needy, and you were even needier, the faint glow of early morning sunshine washing over you through a crack in the beige curtains.

“anything.” oscar stutters, his breath warm against the back of your neck. his nose bumps your skin, teeth scraping the shell of your ear.

you stop meeting his thrusts. he whines low, wordlessly pleading for you to resume. he ruts his hips against your ass, chasing friction.

“tell me it’s all gonna be different now.”

“i already told you, i-“ oscar grunts.

“promise me.” you purposely clamp down on him, a hiss sounding from between his gritted teeth.

“promise, i promise, i love you.”

you giggle, rocking your hips again, fucking yourself onto him once more.

“i know.”

“you gonna let me off the hook?” oscar pants in your ear, tugging on your earlobe with his teeth.

“still gotta prove yourself, piastri.” you moan.

he feels deeper like this and he knows it, revelling in the way he’s filled you up so perfectly. he rolls into you slowly, sliding against each and every spot that makes you squirm. you drop your guard, going limp in his arms to let him finish you off.

“you nearly there, sweetheart? you gonna cum for me, love?” his accents thickens in the mornings, husky and intoxicating. you fall apart, then, and he stays buried inside of you, the only sounds in the room your matching heavy breathing.

“i need you to get dressed.” oscar kisses your cheek.

“kicking me out already?” you feign offence, looking at him over your shoulder.

his fingers come to cup your chin, his forehead resting against yours.

“there’s something we gotta do.”

-

you’re wearing your skirt from the day before, the waistband rolled over to make up for the oscar-destroyed zipper. his hoodie that you’ve stolen almost completely covers the short skirt, and your messy hair and poorly removed makeup don’t do much to convince anyone that you’d actually slept in your own room last night.

still rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you don’t really comprehend where oscar is leading you, but when the elevator dings, signalling that you’ve reached the restaurant floor, you’re suddenly painfully awake. time seems to move in slow motion, your tummy twisting as you realise what’s about to happen.

ahead of you, tucked into the corner of the restaurant is your brother, jon, and ashley. lando is already draped in team kit, the papaya of his hoodie blaring obnoxiously for once, a warning sign.

“oscar, what-“

“i’m doing this.” he affirms, speeding up his stride.

oh my god oh my god oh my fucking god.

your heart speeds up, dropping to the pit in your belly when lando notices you, eyebrows furrowed, jaw clenched, eyes taking in the bewildering sight before him. his baby sister, disheveled and wide-eyed, and his teammate holding her hand, on a mission.

“what the fuck am i looking at?” lando doesn’t sound angry, per say, more perplexed than anything. there is an edge to his voice that you don’t particularly like, but he hasn’t started swinging yet, you suppose.

“i’m in love with your sister. like, for real. you deserve to know that.” oscar says confidently, somewhat monotonously.

lando opens his mouth, closes it. opens it again, closes it. he repeats the process a few more times, going through the motions of an emotional rollercoaster.

but then, he sighs deeply, a grin of disbelief stretching across his face. jon bangs on the table excitedly, and ash is shaking his head.

“you owe us so much money.” jon laughs, his head tipping back.

“pay up, boss.” ash sticks his hand out expectantly, smirking across the table.

“what… what?” you exclaim, narrowing your eyes in confusion.

“i didn’t wanna believe them.” lando shrugs.

“don’t blame you.” oscar chimes in, and you stare between the two mclaren drivers in bewilderment.

“are you okay with this?” you question, staring your brother in the eyes, still a bit disoriented by the entire situation. his face softens, a genuine smile lingering small on his lips.

“if you’re happy, i’ll make my peace with it.” lando’s eyes flit between you and oscar.

all of the sudden, a look of horror crosses his face, and his voice turns stern.

“but,” he inhales shakily. “if i ever, ever, hear again what i think i heard last night,” he glares at oscar, pointing one firm finger at the australian, who stands up a bit straighter. “you’re dead, piastri.”

jon and ash bite back giggles at the empty threat, and you take it upon yourself to put an end to the situation before it gets any more awkward.

“well, on that note!” you sing-song, dragging oscar away.

“and make sure you’re using protection!” lando calls out, panic stricken, big brother mode activated.

“oh my god.” you blush dark pink, speeding up, the elevator in your sights.

“that went well.” oscar quips sarcastically. he looks rather happy with himself.

you kiss him as soon as the metal doors shut.

-

you do go out after the race, but for once it’s not to drink away the memories of a weekend in oscar’s arms. this time, it’s to celebrate the fact that you can love him out loud, and he’ll do the same right back.

you’re dancing in his arms, bright lights in shades of blues and purples streaming over your bodies. oscar holds you close, keeps you wrapped in his arms, despite the shock on the faces of others at the sight of lando norris’s baby sister publicly besotted with his teammate.

when oscar kisses you deep, smiling against your lips that taste like cherry liquor, you know that this last year of your life wasn’t in vain.

you and oscar, you’re built to last.

-

“how did you not see it, mate?” charles beams, crinkles by his eyes from the wide smile he’s sporting. he’s clearly drunk, but lando is too.

it appears he’s clocked the brits sister and her australian suitor on the dance floor.

the monagasque has rocked up to the bar with alex and pierre in tow, the three of them slapping lando on the back as they arrive.

“i guess there were signs.” lando shrugs, dragging his finger over the rim of the crystal glass.

“signs? mate it was obvious.” pierre chuckles, pushing lando’s shoulder.

“wait, you all knew?” lando splutters.

yeah. duh. come on, man.

“why didn’t you tell me?”

“it’s funnier.” charles… winks? it’s hard to tell with him.

lando finds you in the crowd, grinning up at oscar like he hung the stars in the sky. the younger mclaren driver returns your look, and it sparks warmth in lando’s chest.

you’re gonna be okay.

-

hehe

-

taglist

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[donationwayne]

DONATIONWAYNE BUDDIE FIC MASTERPOST

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_____

Title: obsessed with the things that you do, low-key I need you to move (in) Pairing: Buddie || Words: 27.8k || Chapters: 9/9 || Main Tropes & Tags: Teenage Chris, Canon Divergent Post-Season 6, Eddie Goes to Therapy, Eddie Adopts A Cat, Mutual Pining, Angst and Fluff, Coming Out, Gay Eddie Diaz, Bisexual Evan Buckley, Christopher Diaz is a little shit

Synopsis: Eddie adopts a cat while Chris is away summer camp. He goes to therapy and comes out to his parents. He continues navigating life post gay realization while being deeply and embarrassingly in love with his best friend.

Buck pines over Eddie.

Chris figures it only a matter of time before they finally get together.

_____

Title: come on, you can show yourself Pairing: Buddie || Words: 8.7k || Chapters: 1/1 || Main Tropes & Tags: Coming Out, Blow-Job Gone Wrong, Mutual Pining, Gay Eddie Diaz, Bisexual Evan Buckley, Eddie & HenRen bestieism, Getting Together, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Eddie tells HenRen about his Will, Eddie sees footage of Buck during the Well collapse

Synopsis: Eddie goes to a gay bar, says Buck's name during a hook up, curses Frank extensively, and comes out to Hen and Karen. They talk about the will and the well and the Buck of it all. Also Buck shows up.

_____

Title: Because Regardless Of How Soft The Touch, I Still Bruise Pairing: Pre-Relationship Buddie || Words: 3.3k || Chapters: 1/1 || Main Tropes & Tags:

Bobby Nash is Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parent, Worried Bobby Nash, Athena Grant is Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parent, Pre-Relationship Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, past self-harm, Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs A Hug, Margaret Buckley and Phillip Buckley Bashing, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Angst and Hurt/Comfort

Synopsis: After sustaining an injury on shift, Buck stays with Bobby and Athena while he recovers. They discover some hard truths about Buck's childhood.

_____

Title: Backtrack Pairing: Pre-Relationship Buddie || Words: 3.3k || Chapters: 1/1 || Main Tropes & Tags: 07x09 Spec, Implied Pre-Relationship Buddie, Worried Buck, Buck has a feeling realization, Angst, Divorce Era 2.0

Synopsis: Speculation about what could happen if Buck finds out about Kim (S7x09). Buck catches Eddie in public with Kim, he confronts Eddie about it. He also has some feelings about it.

[mrsnancywheeler]

the official w.i.p list

masterlist

disclaimer: asks get eaten sometimes, I don't get all of them and I'm so sorry for that. also I have so many requests that it's just inevitably going to take me a while to put the effort and thought necessary into each thing I write. I try to space out requests and my personal things I want to write so there's variety but sometimes I just want to write something in that moment so I will and it will get done faster. that being said I love your requests and asks so much and really just want to put the most effort I can into each story to make sure you feel like you for the bang for your buck yk. love you all 💋

𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖏𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖘

the rest of the river

finnick x virgin!reader

finnick x reader x annie modern college!au

𝖗𝖊𝖖𝖚𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖘: 𝔦𝔫 𝔬𝔯𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔬𝔣 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫

angst with fluff one-shot, reader with self-esteem issues

fluffy one-shot, finnick teaching reader to swim

finnick with reader who has an english accent

one-shot based off of 'slut!' by taylor swift

one-shot based off of 'she' by dodie

angst one-shot, reader thinks finnick is cheating

one-shot jealous!reader, fake dating and mutual pining tropes

notting hill au with smut

one-shot where reader is based off of the archer by taylor swift

✨smut✨ we'll see which of the two options I pick when I get here

fluffy, smutty part two of let me down easy

an angsty ANGSTY one-shot and like I can't even describe it the request is so good and sad and I'm just gonna drop this one on you guys without explanation 💋

one-shot, finnick x reader x annie reunite in district 13, a fluffy, smutty girlie

one-shot based off of mastermind by taylor swift

not to be dramatic but this might be the series after the river is done because it's a soulmate, royalty au request and since I've said finnick and his sweet girl are every lifetime maybe I'll just use this as an opportunity to explore them in said other lifetime 💋

one-shot where reader is taken by Capitol, forgets about finnick, but they were in their enemies to lovers arc

one-shot based off of paper rings by taylor swift

fluffy rivals to lovers type beat with drunk!reader

finnick x short!reader

angsty one-shot, eventual fluff, reader taken by Captiol, forgets everything, closed off, angry, and she's pregnant

pregnant!reader, district 13, angst bc she's scared the baby is someone involved in the trafficking, hurt/comfort things

one-shot based off of I think he knows by taylor swift

one-shot based off of national anthem by lana del ray

how to lose a guy in 10 days au

angsty one-shot, 'cheating' that's actually trafficking, reader gets reaped, breakups, finnick lies and says he's cheating to keep reader safe from snow

model!reader x finnick, hurt/comfort

coincidentally I had two asks about finnick being the one hijacked one right after the other so yeah we're definitely exploring that one

smut, finnick jerking off the picture of reader

finnick x mermaid!reader one-shot

finnick and reader who faints

finnick introducing reader to johanna

finnick x deaf!reader

oral fixation reader one-shot

finnick showing love through non-sexual intimacy

[cassynite]

hm. finishing up my like third replay of the twc trilogy and. some rambling disjointed theories about future plot points/revelations:

i feel like someone has to have already said this but the supernatural rogue leader with the detective's eyes is obviously rook's Not Dead After All sister, right? like we can all agree on that one

i think it's going to turn out that rebecca is so cagey about how rook died because she is responsible for it--not, like, directly, but in a way that makes it very easy to blame herself. she assigned him the mission he died on, he wanted to leave the agency and she convinced him to stay, that sort of thing.

I think all the villains that we see will end up showing up again (either as allies or enemies), but im specifically imagining that murphy will reappear as a minor antagonist--either naturally if he escaped, or as a result of a prison break of caged supernaturals

another probably obvious one but each love interest route seems to be building up to a major subplot for each of them:

A's is seems already deep in progress and will mainly revolve around them getting over themself, and will probably resolve with them getting with the detective. slow burn extraordinaire (most nebulous one for me since this is the only route i haven't played yet; this just comes from fandom osmosis so it might be off base)

M's is going to be their lost past but more focused on whatever is going to happen when that crystal of theirs ends up failing/getting lost/breaking (going off of that, we know mishka's got a particular point in mind for M to realize they are in love with the detective. i am 100% convinced at this point that it's going to be a dramatic moment when their crystal isn't working, they're losing it, and the detective brings them back to reality--that's going to be M's oh moment). interpersonal relationship conflict is mainly going to resolve around the natural conflict that arises from the pining while fucking trope that's been established

N's is THEIR past but more focused on their mystery powers (there's a post floating around that makes a great argument that's it's mind control and i'm inclined to believe that) and coming to terms with their "darker side"/learning to open up to the detective. i definitely feel n's route is going to get darker/more angsty before resolving

and we already know that most to all of F's romance route hardships are going to be external--the relationship itself is rock solid. right now it seems to me that it's going to be the conflict with the demons (literal ones this time) from their past coming back to them. also ten bucks says their mom is alive

AND MY BIG ONE: It's going to be revealed eventually that the detective and the LI are soulbonds. I feel like there's so much present in all the books that implies the relationship is not just one of attraction--there is a supernatural element of comfort, healing, and empathetic bond shit going on. the amount of information you get about soulbonds from f if you do research in b3 also just seems like setup for this reveal as well since it's explicitly stated that soulbonds are really rare but not limited to one supernatural species

I think this revelation will probably occur pretty late--at the very least after the LT route is resolved, because the soulbond will be with the LI that the detective ends up choosing. i also think this could also contribute to mishka's firm stance on not allowing the LT to have a poly option

[daniwib]

Hiiii 💕💕💕

For the fic never have I ever:

1) have you ever written anything about buddie and sleeping (like an insomnia fic, nightmares, cuddling and falling asleep, etc)?

2) have you ever written anything about buddie and chronic pain?

3.) have you ever written anything about buddie and hurt/comfort? What about angst?

4) have you ever written any sort of buddie AU?

-❤️🪐

Hey, hii!

(Me, holy shit, someone actually sent me an ask? Stay cool, stay cool, it’s cool everyone!)

(Also me, oh shit, I did not realise that this means I have to remember what I’ve written. Hmm. This may have been a mistake, I have the worst memory, I really do. Goes and checks out own ao3 profile for the answers…)

Ok here we go.

Nightmares. Oh hey look at that! I’ve actually got a fic with the word in its title, who knew! A spell for nightmares & fractured hearts is a short and fluffy lil fic about Buck helping Chris heal after the tsunami, and then Chris (and Eddie) helping Buck do the same. And because I’m allergic to fluff, I followed it up with part 2 in that series being long, whumpy and angsty. As for falling asleep, cuddling or insomnia, I can’t find anything in my quick search but I think I’ve written all of those in several of my fics, just not as a major part of the plot, more as part of the comfort part after the hurt usually.

Similar answer for chronic pain, I think? I’ve referenced it here and there in various fics but haven’t written on just about that. It’s a little bit too close to home for me, my dad has had 3 hip replacements (first because of major injury as a firefighter when I was 10, he fell through 3 floors in a burning building) so having lived with someone experiencing it, it doesn’t really appeal to me to write.

Buddie and hurt/comfort – um. Pretty much every single one of my Buddie fics?! I filtered my works with that tag and got 30 hits, so…. Here’s one I’m posting right now that I’m kinda proud of Pictures of You, in which Abuela dies post season 6, Eddie hurts and Buck comforts.

Buddie and angst – refer to above answer lol. If I had to choose a favourite, I think I’d choose empty, broken, lonely, hoping, my beloved presumed dead fic where Buck and Christopher are thought to have perished when Buck’s apartment building burns down and Eddie goes through several chapters of angst. It’s unrelenting really, poor guy. 4. Buddie AU – again, I’ve got several depending on your definition.

If you want a truly Alternate Universe, try I Once Was Lost. It’s a Peter Pan fusion where Buck is Peter, Eddie is Wendy Darling and almost all of the other characters feature in Neverland too. It covers from their childhood up until the end of season 5 and I have a particular soft spot in my heart for it.

If you prefer Canon Divergence, try There Walks Darkness. It’s basically What If Maddie didn’t kill Doug and he was arrested instead – and was one of the prisoners who took Buck and Eddie hostage in season 5? It features a lot of hurt Buck, Buck whump, worried Eddie and the 118, some of my favourite tropes to write.

And lastly, if you prefer supernatural AU, try Returned for a shorter read, which perhaps unsurprisingly is based on the movie and tv show… Returned.

Which reminds me of another supernatural AU that I can’t believe I forgot because I adore it! Trust Me, Darlin’ is my first collab, with the lovely @hella-cious! It's a Supernatural / 911 crossover in which Buck runs into an old hook up (Dean Winchester ofc) at a scene in LA and is promptly kidnapped before the 118’s eyes. Lots of angst and whump in this one and while there is Buck/Dean because lets face it, those two are far too hot not to ship together, it ends in Buddie (and Destiel too, for SPN fans!)

So, wow. There you go. This was a lot longer than I expected it to be but then I’ve never done one of these before. Thanks for being my first ask @steadfastsaturnsrings !!

[beccarecs]

every single thing to come (has turned into ashes) by imdarlenescousin | Buck & Eddie

Title: every single thing to come (has turned into ashes)

Author:  imdarlenescousin

Word count:  66,642

Rating: M

Warnings (from the author): miscarriage, implied/referenced child abuse, mental health issues, canon-typical violence

Summary: 

“Don’t you want to get back out there, though?” Buck asked. “I mean, you kept asking about my couch, but what about you?”

“I’ve had a couch this whole time,” Eddie countered.

“A metaphorical couch.”

“The hell is a metaphorical couch?” Chimney asked Hen and Ravi under his breath, earning only a shrug and raised eyebrows in response.

Or, Eddie starts dating, makes some friends, makes some realizations, and makes a serious offer.

Canon compliant through 6x14.

Review: 

A brand new, post 6x14 Buddie fanfic that definitely needs more love! This fic dealt in detail with Eddie figuring out and coming to terms with his sexuality, and I loved how the author shied away from making this too angsty. While Eddie is confused about it, with the help of Frank and his friends he is able to address his questions with minimal internal or external homophobia - which was really refreshing to read. I am a sucker for the “Buck and Eddie decide to be platonic life partners while keeping their feelings a secret from each other” trope, and if you enjoy it as much as I do, give this fic a read! Especially loved the genuine friendship and bond between the two, as well as Buck being a parent to Chris and Eddie’s support of that. Yes, there are some heavy topics (see warnings) but they mostly refer to calls and subplots. Overall, this story is much heavier on the fluff and comfort than angst/hurt. 

More Buck/Eddie fic recs

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

I come as bidden to ask for angsty fic recs! :D (Especially if they end good though, I just watched a TV show from which I am a little physically ill of Bad Things Left Hanging) 💛

ohoho yes good you've come to the right place!!! angst with a happy ending is one of my favorite tropes ever tbh, especially including lots of hurt/comfort!!! without further ado~

protective dad Bruce

family-wide angst with a side of character study

Jason and Bruce have very different ideas of remembrance

very angsty Cass fic for the Cass mutual ft. hope and healing

Damian and Jason have met before

the passing down of warmth from fathers to sons not quite their own

pretty heavy Babs character study (this author is REALLY GOOD)

getting shot is a great way to end a family feud (and Tim is a little bit feral for a hot second)

baby Dickie and a field trip gone bad

Damian thinks he's going to die (he's wrong) and Tim won't let that happen

Tim and Bruce and healing

Steph and Bruce get yoinked back in time and they are not having fun

Bruce just needs to see his kid alive

Steph telling Bruce "I think I'm bad" will stick with me forever

a little bit vague and a lot bit sad but everything is okay at the end, for the whole family

Dick and Jason being brothers

this one made me ache a little bit and then healed the bruises (B and the kids and the finite nature of human life)

I feel like this has probably been recced to you already but OUGGHHHH the family feels from Dami's POV... it's so good

this one is actually pretty soft and has a really cool concept (and ten bucks says you can probably guess why the title caught my eye) with Tim and Bruce

Dick is hallucinating his kid and it just might break him

SAD SAD SAD ANGSTY HOWEVER read the endnotes bc everything's gonna be okay

I KNOW this one's already been recced to you but honestly it fundamentally changed something in me. in the back of my mind I'm always on some level thinking about it. I cannot adequately explain just how much this fic wrecked me and how important it is to me. I'm just gonna say again what I told @called-kept after she first sent it to me: for middle children in the Wayne clan, sometimes dying (and coming back) is what it takes to realize how loved they are. (Kept actually pitched this to me with, essentially, "hey you like fics where the others are comforted in near-death experiences by the fact that Jason's already been through it, right?" though not in those exact words. and if i let myself I'm going to write a hecking epistle to you about this so I'm just gonna uh... stop talking now)

so ya know how I'm really emotional about Dick being a parent to Damian?

Jason is having panic attacks

Jim Gordon is SUCH a good dude.

Jason stress cooks/bakes

growing up is hard when you're a bird-themed vigilante

I don't usually go for soulmate AUs but this is a REALLY GOOD platonic soulmate AU (it made me cry)

ANOTHER fic that's made me cry and also the one that made me realize how deeply bittersweet I feel about Dick Grayson

Timberly dealing with being immunocompromised (a word which my phone apparently does not like smh)

brothers grieving together — sad but has a happy ending!!!!!

INCREDIBLY long oneshot (with a sequel that I also greatly recommend!!) with a lot of angst but!!! it does not stay there!!! as is a theme in this list there's also healing!!!! (Tim needs help to feel again. that's ok bc he has brothers.)

dare I say it THE Batfam angst (presumably with a happy ending) fic? I'm slowly making my way through it and AAAAGHJHHH it's SO GOOD the characterizations and relationships and struggles and fears and never giving up... so so good

basically anything by @envysparkler but I have like 90% of her fics bookmarked and this list is already super long so I'm just going to gesture wildly and excitedly toward Envy's AO3 and leave it at that

and last but not least one of the first Batfam fics I read and really really loved. a bird gets a bird of his own and Damian gets a new understanding and deeper relationship with his next-oldest brother

[8bitscarlet]

The Family Christmas Party

Summary: If you wanted to continue living your comfortable life, you had to play by your family's rules. But when those rules change and you're faced an impossble task, can you seal the deal? Requested

Genre/Warnings: Angsty Fluff

Pairing: Wanda x Reader

Word Count: 4.7k

A/N: This was definitely a trope I didn't think of ever writing and as you can see it kind of got away from me. So, I can promise your happy ending if you want that happy ending in part 2 😂. Happy Reading!

*please do not repost or translate my material or claim as yours. reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated!*

__________________

“I’m telling you, just go ask one of these waitresses. You’ve been running around for a week looking.”

You frown towards your so-called friend, Steve, as you scoop up the last bite of apple pie on your plate. Sliding the fork from your mouth, you point it at him,

“I’m not asking some random chick.”

Watching his blue eyes roll at your stubbornness, Bucky places his feet up on the booth you’re sitting on. You glance at his raised brows as he gives you a smirk. That smirk has been the tell tale sign to prepare for the most annoying words out of that man’s mouth.

“As much as I know you want to, you can’t ask either of us. Your family knows us.”

Steve smacks your arm, “Come on! You’re going to lose your inheritance if you don’t buck up and ask someone.”

Pushing your rolled sleeves higher up your arms, you shake your head, “I have two weeks to fall in love with someone. That was never going to happen anyways, it definitely isn’t happening in that timeline.”

Bucky glances behind you, his eyes bouncing around the practically empty diner you all sit in. Your weekly tradition to get away from the hustle and bustle in the city and just have a good burger, old fashioned malts, and apparently find the love of your life.

“Who would say no, Y/N? They just have to show up at a couple yearly functions, take some holiday photos and they get a nice check in their mail,” Bucky leans forward as he points out someone to Steve, who nods enthusiastically at his choice, “Come on, the first waitress who smiles at you.”

You scowl at both of them, “They all smile. It’s their job.”

Steve chews on the leftover fries from your plate, “You cannot be picky right now. This isn’t a bottle of whiskey or caviar.”

Running your hands up your face, you let out a huff “I’m past my quarter life crisis, why do I have to get into a steady relationship to prove I’m not going to blow all my money on a catalog of cars again.”

As your face rests in your palms, the waitress walks up and you glance over to her. She quietly talks to Steve, smiling as she asks how the food was. You point subtly at her scrunching nose as you glower at Bucky. It’s their job to smile. Walking away, Steve folds the bill between his fingers and points it at the waitress.

“Come on. She’s not too bad. Looks like she can keep a secret locked up tight.”

Glancing over to her dressed in a themed 50’s diner outfit, Steve isn’t wrong. Her auburn hair is tied up in a small bun behind her head, rings cover her fingers of all different sizes and shapes. Her green eyes glance up at your table, catching your stare as you quickly snatch the receipt from Steve’s hand as he laughs.

Walking up to the counter, bypassing a small horde of oblivious toddlers waddling towards the exit with their parents, you calm your beating heart. Sitting on the flat, red stool cushion, you wait for the waitress to come around. A smile widens on her face as she leans forward, resting a elbow on the counter.

As you place the check on the counter, you place a stack of bills on top, much more than the total written on the bottom. You watch as her green eyes widen at the green paper, the top bill holding the likeness of Ben Franklin. Glancing up to your confident face, you’re not expecting the scoff that comes from her.

“I figured you three were trust fund babies.”

You chuckle at the snark, “Ouch. You know, I have more to me than a trust fund right?”

She lets out a hum as a bold grin twitches on her lips, “Like what?”

The cash register dings open as she takes the two bills from the stack that she needs to settle the bill. With a small grin, you run your hand along the vinyl trim of the counter, “Definitely… other things.”

“Mhm,” she nods, clearly unimpressed as she slides all of your cash back to you, “Well, while you’re weighed down with your cash, I have tables to get to. You know, gotta pay a college tuition.”

While she turns to leave, you slide the stack back to her. Her eyes watch you carefully and then bounce back to Bucky and Steve who you know are staring. They are anything but inconspicuous. Her black painted nail stabs into the stack,

“No one tips three hundred percent. What’s the catch?”

You nod, enjoying that she isn’t one of those naive girls who always seem to find their way into your life, “Nothing really. You need help with tuition and… I just need a favor.”

Her eyes don’t leave your face as she raises her brows, waiting for you to move the story along,

“I need a date for my family’s Christmas party.”

She snorts as her laugh brings a smile to your face. Her head leans onto her hand as she gives you a shake, “You didn’t think to try Craigslist?”

You roll your eyes as Bucky yells out, “I told you!”

The waitress points to him with a nod and a laugh. Resting your hands on the counter, you lean forward, “I’m not asking some random off the internet.”

“You do realize we have never met, right? I’m incredibly random.”

You glance down at her nametag, reading it for the first time all night. Pulling a coy smile on your face, you furrow your brows, “Don’t put yourself down like that. You serve an amazing slice of apple pie. And besides, I know you’re Wanda and not some creepy dude on the internet.”

She squints playfully at you when you utter her name, not quite as confident as you try to make it, having to quickly glance at her nametag again. Leaning back from you, she takes a rag from the sink and starts to idly wipe at some spots on the counter. You tap the money again,

“I’ll pay you to go to the party.”

Wanda sighs, not believing she’s about to ask this question, “How much?”

Your heart skips a beat, this plan might actually work and it’ll barely cost you anything, “More than you make here in a three months.”

She’s silent, her cleaning hand making the smallest circles over a sparkling clean area. With a sigh, she looks up at you. Raising your hand, you hold it for her to take, “Deal?”

Biting her lip as she stares into your palm, she mutters something about this possibly being the dumbest thing she’s ever done. Slapping her hand in yours, she gives a tight shake, “Deal.”

____________________________

The two of you traded phone numbers and you told her the date of the party. Next weekend. Bucky and Steve cheered out into the evening air, slapping your back and explaining how you need to listen to them more. They then proceeded to drag you to all of the downtown bars.

Work was busy all week and you think Wanda mentioned something about exams that week so, communication was practically nonexistent between you two. She asked where the party was, so she could tell someone her whereabouts in case she died and went missing. And you asked where you’d be picking her up from. Besides that, you knew nothing about each other.

Now, you’re driving up to her apartment complex. It’s in the older part of town, close to the nearby campus. Glancing at the room number again, you grab the dry cleaned clothes from your backseat and step out of your car. Buttoning your jacket, you make the trek through the chilling wind and climb the stairs to her apartment.

Giving a firm knock to the blue door, you listen to the locks being turned as it swings open and reveals a short blonde in front of you.

“Hey!” they grin as they point at your freshly pressed outfit, “You’re that rich person.”

You give a curt nod, “Yeah, is Wendy here?”

Her brows clench tightly, “It’s Wanda. But, yeah she’s here.”

Your eyes bounce around her face, still standing in the middle of the threshold and blocking you. “Can I see her?” you ask, your tone not downplaying the annoyance you’re feeling.

“She’s getting dressed. But you can come in and-,”

You step inside past Wanda's roommate and glance around. It’s a small two bedroom, the kitchen and living room only separated by a half wall. To the left is the hallway with two rooms and a bathroom. There’s only one door closed and you use your powers of deduction to head straight to it.

“Wanda, visitor!” The roommate hollers out, grumbling to herself as the door shuts.

As you bring your knuckles to rap against the door, it swings open to a half-dressed Wanda. Half of her hair is pinned up as she’s trying to curl it, dressed in simple shorts and a tanktop. Your eyes gaze down her body, not hidden by the large skirt of her waitress outfit anymore.

“What the hell are you doing in here?” She asks, resting her hands on her hips.

You pick up the crinkling bag from your side and watch her face fall, “You need to wear this.”

Wanda runs her finger along her nose as she breathes in deeply, “What do you mean I have to wear this?”

Pointing to yourself and your red turtleneck sweater and heavily pressed green pants, you grin, “There’s a dress code and we’re matching.”

Tearing the plastic cover around the clothes as you hold up the outfit, she clenches her fingers around the turtleneck, “I am not wearing this.”

Tossing it towards her, you give her an unsympathetic shrug, “You have to.”

Wanda groans, “This is starting to not be worth the money.”

You clench your jaw, knowing she has more integrity than you. She shook on it, she won’t just walk out on the deal.

“Look, we need to leave or we’re going to be late. So, hurry up.”

Your glares pierce each other, the plastic crinkling in Wanda’s fingers as she debates whether or not she can fake a tear in these clothes. With a smirk, you know mother always has extras just in case there's a clothing emergency. And as Wanda sees the humor in your eyes, she presses her lips in a thin line, a quiet agreement that she’ll get ready.

“Fine,” she snaps and slams the door in your face.

Stepping out of the hall and into the living room, you stand next to the coffee table as Wanda’s roommate watches their small television. Popping open a bag of chips, you glance over at her as she munches on a handful,

“You been rich a long time?”

You sigh, tired of being asked that question, “I’m not rich. My parents are.”

Wanda’s roommate lets out a long hum, “Right. Of course.”

You didn’t stand there long, you couldn’t handle the over emphasized drama that was coming off of that screen. Deciding that you had a better chance of staying sane in the blistering cold than in there, you left to lean against your car hood.

After what seems to be at least half the day gone and wasted, the door above closes and Wanda is already glaring at you past the railings.

You smirk to yourself as you see the green pencil skirt and black tights she’s in. As she descends the stairs, you turn and head towards the driver’s side,

“Finally.”

Climbing into your car, Wanda slips into the leather passenger seat and slams the door shut. As the engine purrs, she smacks her hand on the seat warmer. You glance at her but she isn’t looking at you. Pulling out of the parking spot, you start making your way towards your family home. The city lights start to become dots in your rearview as the radio plays a quiet tune.

“Just so you know. I don’t like you.”

You chuckle, typing a quick message to your mother, “Well, I’m not paying you to like me. I’m paying you to cling to me like a magnet and smile. Make my family believe it’s true love.”

Wanda lets out a hum as she pulls at the turtleneck that’s probably scratching at her throat. You know, you’ve been wearing these sweaters for nearly three decades.

“Since you’re paying me,” Wanda sighs out, “this is basically prostitution.”

You roll your eyes as you flick on your blinker, “I’m not sleeping with you. You can just keep dreaming.”

“I don't know if that's insulting or not.”

Parking the car, you reach behind you and toss a long, dark wool coat onto her lap with a jewelry box. She glances at you with furrowed brows as she opens the box, revealing the emerald and diamond pendant necklace with accompanying emerald earrings.

Her jaw falls slack as she holds the necklace carefully in her fingers as you latch on your custom made Rolex.

"How much... I can't wear this." Wanda says, as you sigh and peer in the rearview at the approaching cars.

Taking the jewels from her fingers, you nod for her to step out of the car. Two valets jog over to your car as they open both doors once they see you making moves to exit. One helps Wanda out as you toss your keys to the other valet.

You glance over at the parking area and let out a groan, half of the party is already here. Walking next to Wanda as you ascend the granite stairs towards the large house, she's still staring at the earrings as her jacket is halfway on.

"We're supposed to be dating," you remind her, slipping the box from her delicate fingers as she slowly puts the other sleeve of the jacket on, "You're supposed to have gifts."

Raising your brows, you pop open the box and urge her to take the earrings before more guests get up those steps. Sensing your urgency, her shaking fingers take the teardrop earrings and slide them into her piercings. Holding the chain, you step behind Wanda as she slides her auburn hair out of the way. The light is dim and you squint as you fail to latch the necklace, leaning in as you try to line it up.

"Shit," you whisper out, watching her slight shiver as you breath onto her neck.

Finally latching the necklace, you fix your sleeves and step in front of Wanda. You watch in the dim light how Wanda’s green eyes flick back and forth along the exterior of the house, her fingers playing with the necklace.

Peering up, you glance along with her. It’s easy to forget just how big this estate is, with its acres of land and more rooms than your mother and father need. You’re pretty sure the guest bathroom in this place is bigger than her apartment.

The grand front door opens for both of you as you walk towards it, two attendants bow slightly as you enter the home. As the doors close, someone comes around and quickly slides your jacket off as you start to feel the heat of the home. Yanking on your turtleneck out of habit, you drop your hand and graze your pinky against Wanda’s.

Her hand slaps yours away, gripping her small clutch. Smiling and giving a small wave to a distant cousin who eyes you suspiciously, you make small steps into the foyer. Wanda is glancing up at the large chandelier as you lean forward, smelling her sweet and warm perfume.

“Hold my hand,” you order her under the guise of a whisper.

She glances at you, “I don’t want to hold your hand.”

Shaking hands with an old business partner as you walk past, you quickly grab her hand, “Suck it up. You have to.”

Intertwining your fingers with hers, you hear her quiet groan, “I hate you so much.”

Pulling her with you, you smile and wave at your mother who’s at the other side of the drawing room. Guiding Wanda around couches and grinning at the guests as they peer at the newest additions of your father’s art collection, you talk through your grit teeth,

“Just shut up and try to be nice.”

Your mother pulls you in for a tight hug, Wanda no doubt thankful your hand was taken from hers. You watch as your mother’s eyes rest on Wanda, subtly taking her all in. As you talk shop with one of your father's friends, you can hear the pointed questions from your mother. The offhanded comments that are plastered over with a false smile and a light tone.

You glance over at Wanda, watching her hands pick at the clutch, trying not to pull at the turtleneck.

“And you’re a waitress,” you clench your eyes at the tightness in your mother’s voice, the way she glances at you quickly, “How… nice. A self-sustaining woman.”

Shaking hands, you quickly step back to Wanda and wrap your arm around her waist. You can practically feel her sigh in relief that you’ve made it back, your aunts have shown up by your mothers side. And their stares aren’t as kind.

“I think I should keep making my rounds, mother. I’m sure Barclay would like to chat about horse numbers.”

Your mother squeezes your chin, “Oh, don’t tell me you’re betting again.”

You press a grin out for her, “Of course not. I just would hate Barclay to lose his fortune.” Holding out your hand, Wanda graciously takes it as you lead her away.

As you squeeze your way through the party, eyeing the over the top decorations of garlands and Christmas trees, one for boring ornaments another for boring white lights, you try and avoid eye contact with anyone.

“Do you really know someone named Barclay?”

You chuckle as you stop inside the threshold of some sliding doors, “I think he’s my third cousin twice removed?” Grabbing two drinks from a passing waiter, you hand the glass of champagne to Wanda’s shaking hand, “I honestly don’t know how it works.”

Sipping on the carbonated drink, you peer out into the crowd and finally spot the string quartet. It wouldn’t be Christmas without the string quartet. Taking in the quiet for a moment, you glance over Wanda’s shoulder and let out a groan.

Wanda’s green eyes glance to you, “My aunt is coming.”

Her eyes widen, she doesn’t even have to meet her to know that isn’t good. She can see it in your eyes as you try to find something to knock over or someone to punch and cause a scene. Quickly, her eyes glance up and she grabs your sweater as she yanks you forward. Nearly spilling all of your drink, her lips land on top of yours, stiff and firm as you quickly clench your eyes shut.

“First victims of the mistletoe!” You hear someone yell and then there’s cheering.

Pulling away slowly from Wanda, you can feel your heart pounding in your chest as you stare at each other. Both of you give a small shiver as you shake away the tingling in your arms and you quickly grab her.

“Alright, you all got your show.” You smile at everyone, pointing Wanda towards the stairs and pushing her for the getaway, “Go get your bet money. Margaret, sweet cousin, I expect part of your earnings!”

Finally finding a way to sneak away from the jeering as you made suggestive winks and finally running into Bucky and Steve, ordering them to cover for you and Wanda. You snuck into the room you told Wanda to go into. Your old bedroom. Shutting the door with a soft click, you lean your forehead onto the oak door. Exhausted already from this acting performance.

“I told everyone we'd be making out in here. So, that should buy us a few minutes.”

Wanda let’s out a hum, “Perfect. Now your mother thinks I’m a harlot.”

You chuckle as you lean your back against the door, “You’re a waitress. I can already hear her lecture to me later tonight about why I couldn't find a modest homemaker.”

Glancing up as you adjust your pants, you catch the lightness in her eyes for the first time today. You smile at each other, feeling a lightness inside of your body as you start to notice the way her eyes squint as she lets out a laugh.

“Oh how awful it is that your mother hates your fake girlfriend.” Wanda chuckles as she plops onto the bed with a groan. Leaning back onto her hands, she watches you carefully walk around your room, “How long does this thing last anyway?”

You give a small shrug, digging through your old drawers that hold nothing but junk now, “Early morning hours. Depends on when that string quartet passes out from over playing.”

Chuckling to yourself, you turn when you realize Wanda is silent. Leaning yourself against the desk, you cross your legs over and fold your arms across your chest,

“Why? You got something else planned? A real date?”

Wanda glances at her phone, swiping across the screen, “Yeah, I have homework and a bank meeting in the morning.”

You clench your brows together, tomorrow’s a Saturday. It should be an absolutely free day to do whatever you want. You couldn’t think of a single weekend where you had to do something, besides pub crawls and maybe some golf to do. Wanda sees the confusion on your face as you silently try to figure out why she would schedule such boring and tedious things on a weekend.

“Believe it or not, you actually have to do things when you don’t have a lot of money.”

As you realize the obvious fact you forgot, you close your eyes gently as you let out a slow breath and drop your head. With a soft nod you don’t press into the matter. Wanda lets out a soft hum, but you can hear the stress behind the tone. Opening your eyes, you watch her literally scratching her head as she tries to figure out how to move things around.

Pushing off of the desk, you reach forward and cover the screen with your hand. Her fingers lightly rest on yours as she goes to swipe but you block her. Looking up at her, your eyes glaze over the soft freckles on her cheeks as you try to swallow down a tight knot in your throat.

“We’ll just leave early. I can’t stand the carolers anyway,” you grin as you stand upright and pull at your turtleneck, feeling the growing heat beneath the thick cotton.

Wanda lets out a scoff, “Yeah, ‘cause I’m sure your family lets you leave in the middle of a party. Imagine the embarrassment.”

You give a shrug, “We’re dating. You need to go home and I’m whipped.” Sitting down on the bed with a small bounce next to her, you share a grin, “I think they’d believe that.”

Soaking in the quiet moment just a while longer before you’re forced to make face with cousins you haven’t seen in years and your father’s business partners that all look the same, you hear a soft click. Glancing up as your heart bounces out of your chest, you watch the door slowly swing open. Immediately, your hands grab onto Wanda, pulling her legs over your lap and cupping her face as your lips smash against hers.

You feel her body tense at your sudden attack but she falls into the play, hands wrapping around the back of your neck as her lips move against yours. There’s a small exclaim from behind her and you both quickly part, panting gently as you both turn to see who’s intruding. You raise your brows as you see the head maid, giving a tight smile as she waves at you.

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea you were in here, Y/N. Your mother was making sure the guest rooms were set.”

You wave at her with a chuckle, helping Wanda from the bed as she wraps her hands around your arm, “If you ever get stuck here alone, find Marcy. She’s been keeping me sane since I was a teen, she’ll keep you safe.”

Wanda leaves your side as she shares a soft handshake and a smile with her as Marcy glances towards you. Marcy pats Wanda's hands lightly, her brows raised as they whisper to each other. Feeling the heat in your face, you know they're talking about you.

Leaning forward, you just catch the quiet whisperings of Marcy spilling all of your embarrassing secrets to Wanda. Wanda’s green eyes glance at you with a surprised look as she mouths underage drinking. You shake your head, pulling her away as Marcy and Wanda laugh together at the expense of your pride.

“Alright, you two are dangerous. Where’s mother running around?”

Marcy goes to smooth out the bed duvet, “Down in the Great Hall. She tried to pull your father from the billiard room.”

You shake your head, glancing at Wanda trying to figure out what all these rooms are. Honestly, you still find yourself confused about what activity happens where, “Pray you don’t have to meet him today.”

Marcy raises her brows in quiet agreement but says nothing to embarrass the head of the house. She leaves you two in the room as you let out a sigh.

“I like her.” Wanda tells you, placing her hand in the crook of your arm as you both walk back towards the party.

You let out a hum, “Of course you do. Now I’m not suave and mysterious.”

Wanda laughs, patting your chest for extra acting points once you feel the eyes of the crowd, “You were never that, darling.”

Your mother hears her soft words, glancing up from speaking quietly with some of the Garden Club ladies. Stepping in front of them you give quiet nods of greeting as your mother extends her arm out to Wanda,

“And there they are. This is Wanda. The one I was telling you about.”

Wanda’s hand grips you tightly as she gives a tight grin, shaking the hands of these insincere ladies as gracefully as she can. You can see the judgement in their eyes, the talking points they’ll cling to for later tonight.

“I hate to be the spoilsport but we’re leaving, mother.”

Your mother’s eyebrows nearly touch in confusion as she frowns at you, the ladies begin their quiet murmurings early as they take a step away. As your mother stammers slightly, you slide your arm around Wanda’s waist in quiet support.

“Why, it’s not even midnight! The carolers haven’t come and the mulled wine hasn’t been brought in.”

You try your best to look sincerely apologetic as you reach out and pat your mother’s hand, “Wanda has an early start tomorrow. I promised I’d take her home.”

Her eyes dart over to Wanda, accusing her of this decision, “Will you be back then?”

Shaking your head, you step back to Wanda’s side, “We both have an early day. Besides,” you clear your throat as you glance in the direction of the billiard room, “I’m sure father’s had enough spiked eggnog. He didn’t even come to say hello.”

Your mother sighs, rubbing her temples from an oncoming headache. Glancing at Wanda, you give a small grin, “It’ll be better to meet him on a sober foot.”

The clicking of your mother’s tongue stands you up straighter, preparing for her harsh words. Wanda notices, sliding her hand down your arm and intertwining her fingers in yours. It’s a quiet comfort, something you didn’t think would hold you so steady.

“Well, we’ll talk about this tomorrow then. Drive safely.” Your mother’s eyes are wide with a scolding stare, before glazing on the fake tenderness as she turns to Wanda, “It was lovely to meet you Wanda. I’m surprised Y/N has been able to keep you a secret for so long. You two can barely keep your hands off of each other.”

“Mother,” you warn gently, clenching your jaw as your hand clenches onto Wanda’s. She nods quietly at you, leaning in to give you a short hug. You let go of Wanda for her to say a quick goodbye as you grab your coats from the servant.

You help Wanda slip into her coat, leading her out of the house as more people are walking inside.

“I thought rich people were in bed by nine.” Wanda whispers to you, passing a rather rowdy Bucky and Steve.

They don’t notice you as you quickly duck outside into the blistering cold and wait for the valet to bring your car around. Handing over a tip and opening Wanda’s door, you lean in with a chuckle, “Someone has to drink all the alcohol.”

Climbing into the driver’s seat, it takes all of your restraint to not peel out of that driveway. With a shiver, you leave the estate behind. Hopefully until the next mandatory family dinner or a holiday.

You glance over at Wanda as she stares out into the darkness outside her window. The road is empty in front of you as you grip the steering wheel tightly.

“Wanda, I’m going to be honest. This wasn’t a one time thing.”

Watching her nod, you can see the humor in her eyes, “I figured when I was asked a million questions by your family about where you’ve been keeping me and if I’ll be at your second cousin’s wedding.”

You nod tiredly, “Thought I’d give you a taste of this life before I gave my full request.”

Wanda leans her seat back gently, flicking off her heels with a sigh, “It certainly is interesting.”

“Please, you skimmed the surface. You haven't seen dirt. You met the aunt with that blue flower in her hat? Something scandalous.”

You glance over to the smile that is plastered on her face, green eyes hidden behind her eyelids as she rests, “If we keep doing this, we’re going to have to learn a few things about each other.”

With a small hum, you think about a simple fact about yourself, “I have a degree in business and communications.”

Wanda groans, “Okay, less obvious facts.”

Glancing over, she’s turned her head to look at you, giving you a small laugh. Forcing your eyes back to the boring road in front of you, Wanda flicks on the radio and settles in for the quiet ride ahead.

“I’ll make you a study guide,” Wanda tells you as a yawn fills her words. You chuckle, truly interested in how this wedding will go.

There’s a soft clock from your side and your hear the jingling of the necklace. Glancing over, she cups the jewels gently in her hands as she goes to place them back in the box.

“Keep it,” you say, clearing your throat as you look away from her eyes, “In case mother makes a surprise visit to your apartment.”

Wanda laughs, patting your knee, “I think I’m safe. She doesn’t look like she’d go down to my part of town”

You grin as you look out the window at a stop, “You don’t know the level of crazy in this family.”

Your eyes rest on each other, a heavy warmth in your stomach as she smiles, “You make it pretty clear.”

_____________________ Part 2

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added!):

@iliketozoneout @lostandsearching @lynxwhispurrs @rooskaya-yelena @yeeterthekeeper @aos22 @sxfwap @women-am-i-right @marie45019 @lucydibi @raincloudtoyoursunshine @olsensnpm @cristin-rjd @idkbubs @yeetus-thyself @hello-mtf @royalityofmultifandom @nfatale05 @onceattwice @cyberbonesworld @madamevirgo @thewandaromanoff1 @333hhm @when-wolves-howl @blinkmuch @ethanwoods1 @evilcr0ne @007giu @uno-x-uno @pnsteblnme @juuliettee

[chrisevansjellybeans]

I Love You, You Idiot | Bucky Barnes

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Here I am, once again writing in my favorite "we're best friends but we won't say we're in love" trope. Someone stop me.

A/N: This does not fall into the TFAWTS timeline!

Warnings: swearing, fluff, angsty-ish

*not my gif*

The bass rumbled through your entire body as you tried to listen to whatever story Sam was telling to the group. You tried with everything in you to listen but the mixture of the loud music of the club and your best friend's hand just casually laying on your exposed thigh was making it very difficult. You noticed the group laugh so you let out a small chuckle but if anyone asked you would not be able to say what was so funny.

“You okay, doll?” You glanced up at Bucky, who’s blue eyes were squinted with concern. His thumb slowly rubbing circles on the spot on your inner thigh where it was rested. “You look a little out of it. Do you need me to take you home?”

Say words, Y/N. You told yourself. But forming sentences was getting harder and harder with each circular pass the pad of his thumb made.

“Uh.”

Good job. Very articulate.

You didn’t want to be that person. The person who falls in love with her super hot best friend, but doesn’t say anything because they don’t want to “ruin the friendship” and then ends up sad and alone because said best friend doesn’t realize the feelings and moves on to someone else. And yet here you were. Being that cliche.

“Guys, I think I’m going to take Y/N home.” You heard Bucky say. Snapping out of whatever trance you were in you shifted away from him so his hand was no longer on your leg.

“No, I’m fine.” You stood up, strong and steady. “See? I was just thinking about some work stuff. But I’m gonna go grab another drink. Anyone want anything?”

The group shook their head and you made your way to the bar, happy to be away for a couple minutes.

Your moment of solace lasted only a few seconds though because you felt Bucky’s presence behind you. He trapped you in by placing his arms on either side of you, his chin landing on your shoulder.

“Wanna take shots?” Bucky’s voice rumbled in your ear. You really hoped he couldn’t feel the goosebumps that arose all over your skin. His breath smelled like a mix of spearmint and whiskey. A scent that if it came from any other man you would have probably been repulsed but on Bucky it was just comforting.

“Only if they’re tequila.” You turned around so you were face to face with him. Bucky gave you a cheeky smile as he waved the bartender over, ordering two shots each and then your regular drink order. As the bartender got your drinks ready, Bucky leaned down on his arms so he was even closer, your faces barely an inch apart.

“You’re my best friend, you know that?” Bucky smiled, pressing a slight kiss to your cheek.

“You’re mine too.” You whispered but you knew he heard you. Thank god for that super soldier hearing. Bucky stood back up and you could tell that he was on high alert, making sure that no one bumped into you or was making a beeline in the direction you guys were in.

You turned back around and placed your arms on the bar and leaned against it, your breasts pushing up slightly causing the guy next to you to take notice.

“Hey,” you glanced over as the guy next to you turned his body to fully face you. “You are the most beautiful woman at this bar.” You were amazed at how bold this guy was being. Bucky was still behind you, his arms still on either side of you. To anyone who didn’t know the two of you, it would be safe to assume that you were a couple.

“Thank you, that’s very sweet of you.” You smiled at him and leaned against Bucky’s arm a bit, to hopefully give that couple illusion even more.

Bucky was watching the interaction carefully, not yet ready to intervene but there if he needed to. You noticed his vibranium hand flex on the bar as the guy continued to flirt with you, that small action causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

“You wanna get out of here, pretty girl?” The guy leaned in even closer to you, officially popping the imaginary bubble you had around you. That was enough for you and for Bucky.

“Alright buddy, ease up.” Bucky pushed a hand against the guy's chest, moving him away from you. “She’s with me.”

“Relax, big guy. Why don’t you let this little mama speak for herself.” The guy stood up from his chair, he was Bucky’s height but you, Bucky and the guy knew that if it came down to it Bucky would kick his ass.

“This little mama doesn’t want to go home with you.” You said sternly. As you finished speaking, the bartender placed the shots and the drinks in front you.

“Bitch.” The guy mumbled, shaking his head and making his way around Bucky.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Bucky grabbed the guy by the front of his shirt. His eyes blazing as he glared down at the asshole. With each second that passed you could tell his hands were tightening around the guy’s shirt.

“I called your little slut girlfriend a bitch.” He spat out. “Maybe control your woman from flirting with other men at-”

Before he could finish, Bucky slammed his fist into his face. You let out a scream as the guy fell to the ground. Everyone’s eyes now focused on the three of you. Bucky reached down and grabbed him, pulling him back up. You had to look away as blood started to pour out of his nose and down his face. It looked like Bucky was about to punch him again but you quickly put your hand on his arm. Bucky looked over at you, his chest heaving, his metal arm shifting under the stress of his grip.

“Bucky, please. It’s not worth it. Look.” You glanced at the crowd that started to form, phones out and recording.

You could see the headlines now: Winter Soldier Bar Brawl: Is he still unhinged?

You spotted Sam making his way over, his face full of concern. Turning back to Bucky you squeezed his bicep. “Please. Let’s go.”

“Buck.” Sam made it over to you. “Go, I’ll take care of it.”

Bucky heaved as he pushed the guy away from him and then grabbed your hand. He quickly threw down a crumpled hundred dollar bill on the bar and didn’t wait for the change as he pulled you through the crowd of recording phones and out of the club.

He quietly pulled you down the street until you guys ended up at least four blocks away from the club.

“I should have killed that guy.” He huffed as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. Immediately he winced and pulled his flesh hand out. You hadn’t noticed before but his hand was definitely red and swelling. “Fuck.”

“Oh my god, Bucky,” You sighed as you gently took his hand in yours, turning it over and inspecting any damage. It didn’t look fractured but it was definitely sprained and going to be sore for a while. “You could have broken your hand, you fucking idiot.”

“It will heal in a couple hours. And you’re welcome.” Bucky scowled in your direction. “Next time, I’ll just let him shit talk you all night.”

“I didn’t ask you to do that. If you would have waited another twenty seconds we would have gotten our drinks and probably wouldn't have seen that man again.” You glared. “Instead you had to turn into a cave man and beat on your chest and prove your dominance.” You tried to sound tough but your voice was shaking given how cold you were. You had left your jacket back in the club.

“I wasn’t proving shit, Y/N.” Bucky snapped as he pulled his hand out of yours, sliding his leather jacket off and putting it around your shoulders in a huff. “Maybe it infuriates me to hear someone talk about you like that.”

“Well it’s not all cake and ice cream for me, but you don’t see me throwing god damn punches.” You sighed as you wrapped the jacket tighter around your body. “This is going to be everywhere tomorrow.”

“Who gives a fuck.” Bucky muttered.

“You should!” You fumed. “It’s not a great look to have you out here punching random guys at bars, Bucky. Especially over nothing that important.”

“Stop talking like that. God, it’s like you are the only fucking person who doesn’t see how goddamn special and important you are.” Bucky hissed as his hand continued to throb. “So please just..stop talking.”

You snapped your mouth shut as you shot daggers at Bucky which he gladly returned. You turned away from him, calling a car to take you back to his place. You both waited in silence, Bucky only making the occasional foul exclamation whenever his hand hurt. Finally for what seemed hours the car finally pulled up. Bucky, always the gentleman even when angry, held the door open for you as you slid in closing it gently but not making any moves to get in the car. You looked up at him through the window confused but he only shook his head and tapped the car, signally for the driver to leave.

“Can you please wait.” You turned to the driver who let out an annoyed huff.

“Five minutes lady. It’s almost bar time.”

Quickly you opened the door not stepping completely outside, the air having an unforgiving bite to it now.

“Get in the fucking car, Bucky.”

“You go, you have a key. I just need some time.”

“You can take some time in your apartment. Just get in the car.” You retorted.

“I’m not getting in that car.”

“James, I swear to god.” You were fully out of the car now. You slammed the door shut causing the driver to cast an annoyed look your way. “What is your problem? We argue all the time, it’s not that serious.”

“It’s not about the argument,” he grumbled. “It’s about the fact that you are so completely oblivious to how fucking perfect you are and how it wasn’t just that guy that was staring at you but every other guy in that bar. And how angry it makes me that I just want to go up to every single of one of them and tell them to put their dicks away because you’re mine and only mine.”

Your breath hitched as you processed his words.

“And I’m doing everything in power to not just shake you until you realize that I love you, and not just as my friend.”

“I-”

“I can’t believe I just told you that.” Bucky shook his head and let out a humorless chuckle. “Get in the car, Y/N. I’ll see you later.”

Bucky turned and started walking down the street.

“James Buchanan Barnes!” You yelled after him. “If you don’t think that I love you back, then you really are a bigger idiot than I thought.” Bucky stopped in his tracks.

“What did you just say?” He asked as he faced you again. He stayed where he was but you could see the tension start to leave his body.

“I said,” You smiled as you let out a long breath. “That I love you, you idiot.”

Before you knew it, Bucky was over to you and he had you scooped up in his arms. His mouth moved feverishly against yours, every emotion that the two of you had for each other pouring out in this one kiss. Your hands found their way up his chest and around his neck. He let out a low moan that sent vibrations through your whole body.

“Alright, lady, I’m leaving.” You both ignored the driver as he waved you off and pulled out and down the street. But you couldn’t care less because you were finally in the arms of your best friend.

“Say it again.” Bucky whispered against your lips.

“I love you, you idiot.”

[kenneth-black]

Oh

Oh

[first he smiled, then he un-smiled real quick 🫠]

[spencers-renaissance]

Fic Rec Bingo!!

So instead of Fic Rec Thursday, I thought I'd do something a little different this week and recommend 25 fics based on this bingo card (although it turned into 26, oops). I kept most of these as CM because that's my blog's focus, but due to the nature of the prompts, there are 5 Marvel (Irondad) ones & 1 Sherlock towards the end!

from @lightveils on twitter, but found posted on tumblr by @cywscross <3

1. A fic with a premise that shouldn't work but does

I never would've thought I'd enjoy a fic with Spencer as a little rebellious shit because it seems so ooc, but I loved this one!

las vegas kid by trashcanbarbie - 1.9k, 1ch, Gen/Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid, Gambling, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Young Spencer Reid, Teenage Rebellion, Protective Aaron hotchner, Pre-Canon, Father-Son Relationship, Teenage Spencer Reid

JJ raises her eyebrows, “so, you're trying to say counting cards isn't cheating?” “No,” he grins, boyish and charming, “it is.”

2. A fic you've reread several times

Discipline Changes by fullofcrazyness - 1.2k, 1ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Comforting Hotch

Jack stopped and looked at his dad, finally seeing that his dad wasn’t actually angry. Concerned and relieved, but not angry. He was about to say something when he saw someone in the doorway, white as a sheet. “Papa?”

3. A comfort fic

i'm always tired, but never of you by @iamrenstark - 2.2k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Hurt Spencer Reid, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad Derek, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Derek Morgan Needs a Hug, Men Crying, Gunshot Wounds, Blood and Injury

When Spencer figured it out, he was stepping out of the elevator on the bottom floor of Quantico, and he went to tell Derek he loved him like he did every day, but he froze up, because he was afraid he wouldn't hear it back. (Or, Spencer thinks his boyfriend is falling out of love with him.)

4. A cathartic fic

Every Little Transgression by @58thacademic - 1.6k, 1ch, Gen, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad Spencer Reid, Protective David Ross, Protective Derek Morgan, Mentioned Suicide Attempt, Spencer's Backstory, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-Con, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Episode: s03e16 Elephant's Memory

Ok so. Elephants memory was really good because we got Reid backstory. But I'm still annoyed that he didn't defend himself against Hotch. So this was born.

5. A fic you'd print and put on your bookshelf

One Call Away by GhostInTheBAU - 204k, 32ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Dubious Consent, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Domestic Violence, Rape Recovery, Referenced Past Drug Use, PTSD, Hurt Spencer Reid, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Flashbacks, Healing, Nightmares, Suicidal Thoughts, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Eventual Smut

When Reid's boyfriend attacks him, leaving him broken and bleeding, he calls the first person he thinks of for help. He calls the only person he really wants to see. He calls Hotch.

6. A fic you associate with a song

I associate this fic with The First Thing You See by Bruno Major. I think if you listen to the song, you'll easily see why <3

You Make Waking Up Worth It by @guccifloralsuits - 2.1k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Fluff, Minor Angst, Established Relationship, Morning Routines, Hurt/Comfort, Good Things Happen Bingo

“Morning sweetheart,” Derek says, pausing briefly to ruffle his hand gently through Spencer’s hair. The genius nuzzles into the touch but doesn’t reply. It’s too early for conversation, Morgan knows. Pretty boy may get up earlier than he does, but it takes the younger a lot longer to really wake up.

7. A fic that inspires you

This fic could have been in so many categories because I adore it, but I wouldn't have started writing Rain is a Chance to be Touched without this fic so it definitely belongs here.

Forgive Me For All I Could Not Become by @degrassi-fanatic - 105k, 20ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Canon Divergence, Getting Together, Angst, Case Fic, Confessions, Complicated Relationships, Near Death Experiences, Friends With Benefits, Smut, Miscommunication

In which Reid has always been good at hiding things. He hid his father's departure and his mother's illness from social services. He hid his addiction from his team. He hid his sexuality from the world. He hid his inappropriate feelings from his boss. That is until he's bleeding out in Hotch's arms, in an abandoned church, in Oklahoma. From there on out, Hotch and Reid learn to make a complete mess out of each other.

8. A fic that brought you on board a new ship

Even though it's unrequited, this was the first fic that really had me going !!! at Penemily <3

Another Wide-Eyed Girl by mallfacee - 2k, 1ch, Gen/Derek Morgan & Penelope Garcia, Penelope Garcia/Emily Prentiss (Unrequited), Coming Out, Internalised Homophobia, Derek Morgan is a Good Friend, Friendship, Gunshot Wounds, Episode: s03e08 Lucky

Derek Morgan is handsome and calls her “baby girl” and smiles at her like she’s the only girl in the room. Penelope Garcia knows she should be swooning and all she can think is that there must be something wrong with her not to react to a man like that giving her all this attention. Two years later she meets Emily Prentiss and understands.

9. A fic you wish could be a movie

Listen, I adore the soulmate trope, and an angsty moreid soulmate movie? Fucking sign me up right now

i need you now but i don't know you yet by @iamrenstark - 3.1k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Hurt Spencer Reid, Hurt Derek Morgan, Mutual Pining, Soulmates, Hurt/Comfort, Buford Mention, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, Season 5

It goes like this; Spencer hasn't spoken to his soulmate since he was ten, didn't know their gender or their name or a single thing about them. Spencer's soulmate doesn't want him, and that's okay.

10. A fic that led to you making friends with the author

I'm doing two because fuck you that's why

This was one of the first fics I read of Adam's and I immediately fell in love with his writing! And I'm pretty sure that we ended up becoming friends after I rec'd it!!

Plum Sauce by @goldencatchflies - 1.5k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Jealousy, Platonic Morcia, Episode: s07e13 Snake Eyes

Garcia tells Spencer about what she thinks happened between her and Derek. He doesn’t seem too happy about it...

I read this from Syd and absolutely loved it, and like with Adam, we became friends from there! (I mean technically husband and wife, but, y'know. Semantics.)

You Belong With Me by @spencerspecifics - 11.4k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Song Fic, Getting Together, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pining, Fluff

A fluffy Moreid fic based on You Belong With Me by: Taylor Swift

11. A fic you associate with a place

This reminds me of a chilled Sunday afternoon on my old sofa in my living room, with the fire on in the background. I read it all in one sitting and loved every word <3

Metanoia by @makaylajadewrites - 39k, 16ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Canon Typical Violence, Implied Rape/Non-Con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Established Relationship, Near Death Experiences, Frostbite, Rape Recovery, Suicidal Thoughts, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Autistic Spencer Reid, Drug Use, Eventual Smut, Eventual Happy Ending

Oh, Derek… He couldn’t stand the thought of him bursting in with SWAT in tow, gun at the ready, only to descend those creaky stairs and find his naked, bleeding body, vacated of life, crumbled on a red-stained mattress. The realization that he was going to die at the end of this was catching up to him, but maybe it would be better that way.

In which an unfortunate resemblance to an unsub's victims puts Reid right on his radar.

12. A fic that made you gasp out loud

Gasp out loud might be a *bit* of an overreaction, but this one took me on a rollercoaster and I loved every second of it (all of bau-gremlin's fics will do that to you tbh)

The End by @bau-gremlin - 3.1k, 2ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Graphic Violence, Stabbing, Blood and Injury, Temporary Character Death, Hurt Spencer Reid, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt Aaron Hotchner, Sleepy Cuddles, Protective Spencer Reid

The famous interview with Chester Hardwick ... except Hotch and Reid get separated and Reid is left alone with Hardwick and a prison-made shiv.

13. A fic you found at the right time

You're Going to be Okay by fullofcrazyness - 2.6k, 1ch, Gen/Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid, Dark, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Sad Spencer Reid, Hurt Spencer Reid, Depression, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending

Spencer was no stranger to depression. His father leaving him, his mother’s episodes, being twelve years old in a Las Vegas high school. All of those things made him very familiar with the illness. “I… I think I need some help.”

14. A fic that you would read a fic of

Chain Reaction by EloquentDossier - 42k, 16ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Alternate Universe, Texting, Dialogue-Only, Text Fic, Self-Esteem Issues, Fluff, Angst, Implied/Referenced Past Drug Use, Canon Divergence, Pining, Oblivious Aaron Hotchner, Happy Ending

A dialogue-only AU in which Hotch texts what he thinks is Rossi's new number but is actually the slightly eccentric stranger whom Hotch knows only as "Spencer." What follows is something neither man could have ever quite expected.

15. A fic that made you laugh out loud

The Bet by @degrassi-fanatic - 1.6k, 2ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Bets & Wagers, Humour, Fluff, Canon Divergence

“Fifty bucks says Hotch writes you up and sends you to sexual harassment sensitivity training.” she declares as she stares him down. Without looking away from her, Reid takes out his own wallet and flips it open to pull out a fifty dollar before placing it down right next to Prentiss’s own money. “Fifty bucks says Hotch will go out with me.”

16. A fic that gave you butterflies

The healing and dynamics in this one is just.... off the charts :')

Who Spencer Reid Loves by @blueberriesandbubbles - 36k, 11ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Abusive Relationships, Domestic Violence, Abuse, Hurt Spencer Reid, Mutual Pining, Rape Recovery, Healing, Fluff

Derek Morgan has been in love with the resident genius as long as he's known him. When Spencer enters a relationship with a mystery man, Derek is unhappy. He is even more unhappy when he meets this man. Spencer starts acting different and Derek knows something is wrong and he has a feeling its connected to the man Reid is dating.

17. A fic that embodies something you value in life

The utter and total love and devotion in this fic just punches me right in the gut every time I reread it

A Little Fall of Rain by jack_hunter - 4.3k, 2ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst, Spencer Reid Whump, Autistic Spencer Reid, Major Character Injury, Secret Relationship, Team as Family, Dad Rossi

Morgan crept up behind the doctor and snatched the headphones off of his head, earning a yelp of a protest as he slipped them over his own ears. “Les Mis?” Morgan asked with a quizzical look, “didn’t peg you as the musical type, Pretty Boy.” Spencer snatched the headphones back. “I’ve always loved the theatre and I went to see Les Misérables with-... a friend last Friday.”

18. A favourite AU

The Curious Case of Dr. Reid by severaance - 37k, 10ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Transgender Character, Fluff, Trans Spencer Reid, Light Angst, Getting Together, Developing Relationship, Smut, Insecurity, Happy Ending (Warning for Homophobic & Transphobic Slurs)

"And your names for the order, please?" The barista asked, eyes flickering expectantly between the two before her. "Spencer," she answered, although she was not talking to the barista. "I'm Spencer." The man before her had the same idea. "Derek."

19. A fic you stayed up too late to finish reading

I stayed up one night and read pretty much all the marvel fics this author has written, but this was the last one that I simply could not resist. The next day wasn't pretty :/

The more you say, the less I know by forthenightisdarkandfullofterror - 13.9k, 3ch, Gen/Irondad, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Temporary Amnesia, Protective Pepper Potts, Not Endgame Compliant, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Blood and Violence, Hurt Peter Parker, Whump

Tony wakes up from snapping with amnesia and for the life of him can't remember the kid hanging around, claiming to be 'just an intern'. Feelings get hurt.

20. A fic that made you feel seen

heavy in my bones by hopeless_hope - 4.4k, 1ch, Gen/Irondad, Chronic Pain, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Peter Parker, Whump, Father-Son Relationship, Dad Tony, Worried Tony Stark, Angst, Chronic Illness, 5+1 Things

Five times Peter lied to someone about his chronic pain, and one time he told the truth and got the help he needed.

21. A fic you love without knowing the source material

(I mean this is literally all marvel fics but I'll rec this one because I loved it so much)

the locker room by searchingforstars - 15.5k, 3ch, Gen/Irondad, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Hurt Peter Parker, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Mental Health Issues, Misunderstandings, Arguing, Miscommunication, Crying, Whump, Angst with a Happy Ending, Rape Recovery

Peter's falling apart and he doesn't know how things will ever go back to normal again after Ryder.

22. A fic you've gushed about IRL

Genuinely, this fic is better than most published fiction I've read...

The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle - 220k, 37ch, Gen/Irondad, Hurt/Comfort, Sexual Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Physical Abuse, Alternate Universe, Hurt Peter Parker, Foster Care, Identity Reveal, Slow Build, Disordered Eating, Homelessness

Ben and May divorced before Peter’s parents died, so when Ben is murdered Peter goes into foster care. It takes just a tiny taste of superpowers for Peter to decide he doesn’t want to put up with his horrible foster father anymore—the streets are infinitely more appealing. All he wants is to be Spider-Man anyway.

So he leaves. Simple.

Simple, that is, until Iron Man needs Spider-Man’s help. Peter isn’t about to turn down an opportunity to fight alongside Tony Freaking Stark, but he also isn’t going to let his hero know that his recruit is a fifteen-year-old homeless dropout. So they strike a deal. Peter will help Tony. In return, the mask stays on. And that’s when things get complicated.

23. A fic you still remember many years later

The Transport Series by ancientreader - 135k, 2 works, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Backstory, Canon Drug Use, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Physical Disability, AU, Important Character Death, First Time, Developing Relationship, Angst with a Happy Ending, BDSM, Humour, Fluff

How to become a consulting detective. // Jim's lessons are hard to unlearn.

24. A fic with a line or two that you've memorised by heart

"He has held up buildings and nuclear bombs and whole entire countries on his back. Peter’s body is the heaviest thing he’s ever held."

when my body won't hold me anymore (where will I go) by @madasthesea - 4.4k, 2ch, Gen/Irondad, Temporary Character Death, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Father-Son Relationship, Hurt Peter Parker, Crying, Forehead Kisses, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, Hugs, Platonic Cuddling

But he knows. He knows. He can feel it. Peter’s dead. Peter Parker watches as Tony carefully arranges his limbs on a cot. “Mr. Stark,” he tries for the dozenth time. No one hears him.

25. Free Space

And to round it off, we have to celebrate the fic that really and truly welcomed me into the CM fanfic world...

Chanel by @4x24 - 24k, 7ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Getting Together, Spencer Wears Makeup, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Typical VIolence, Humour, Fluffy Ending, Pining, Smut Heavy

Penelope mentions offhandedly one night that she thinks Spencer might look good in makeup. Spencer takes the suggestion to heart. Derek likes the new look - and Spencer - more than he probably should. (Season 4)

[gladiatortale]

My DEPRESSION BEATING, fandom obsessing, shit-tastic FANTASTIC year in review!

TL;DR: I’m fixing my mental health and figuring out WHO THE FUCK I AM one fandom filled day at a time! Thank you to everyone who’s been there for me along the way. xoxo

what’s up HEATHENS.

stating the goddamn obvious here, it’s been a HELLUVA YEAR. One emotional rollercoaster after another but we’re ALMOST DONE. I know things aren’t gonna magically get better the second it flips to 00:01 on January first, but I’m excited to put this year behind me, and (SHOCKINGLY) a bit sad to see it go.

It was a year where the whole world completely stopped, we realized what is really important, what is really worth fighting for, and took a GODDAMN SECOND to just breathe.

For me personally, the year (which I’m counting off from November 1st) started out UNBELIEVABLY SHIT. I had just been kicked out of the country I called home for the last four years (thank you Brexit), I had ZERO job prospects, my depression was the WORST it had ever been, and I just didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. And in the beginning, the pandemic felt like salt in the wound, an extra kick in the teeth to my early twenties that had already “failed to launch.”

But I tried to embrace the madness, really take advantage of the world (that I always thought moved to fast) properly slowing down, and take time to try and become myself again. I wanted to figure out what I loved and try and become a bit more like the person I was before my depression got so bad.

I often say I became that Manic Trash Planet Lady™ you see in sci-fi adventure films; a bit zany to say the least, with a million ideas and a very eclectic fashion sense, but embracing the insanity as it comes...

*cough cough* audrey, get to the goddamn point!

Right. lol. THE POINT IS! 

I’m not 100% “healed”, I’m not sure if I think depression is a “oh look you’re officially cured! hooray!” type of disease, but this year I let myself ENJOY SHIT for the first time in god knows how long. I still don’t know “wHaT i WaNt To dO WiTh mY LiFe”, but I’ve got a better idea and I’m heading in (what feels like) the right direction. And most of all, I can look back and say I am better than where I was a year ago.

So I wanted to say T H A N K Y O U to the mad lads on this website that introduced me to the fandoms, shows, movies, fics... THE SHIT that made me happy this year and were there to be one (BIG) piece in my healing journey.

AND SO, with out further rambling ADO! Here are the highlights of the year marked by my ridiculous hyper-fixations and OBSESSIONS. Thanks for putting up with me ya fiends, xoxox

November 2019  The Arcana (Visual Novel)

I had just gotten home and I was in a LOOOOOOW place. Randomly decided to download this app when it came up and it proceeded to ruin my life (and my bank account...) for pretty much the rest of the year. It was exactly what I needed to get me through a tough time and I was thoroughly, horse-blinders-up-to-the-rest-of-the-world, OBSESSED. These gorgeous magical fiends ruined me and all I could say was thank you.

Joined the fandom: November 2019 Obsession peaked: Late November Obsession faded: December 2019; I started a new job AND my bank statement came in and I realized I had accidentally spent over SIXTY BUCKS on this stupid app. No ragrets, but I definitely started to phase out at that point. Fandom friends: Velma, (@lanavxds on insta) miss you girlie xx Fanfics you NEED to read: ‘Second Mistake’ by DeathBelle on AO3, because DAAAAAYUM SON. Favourite moments: Basically the whole of the Julian arc. That gangly himbo OWNED my ass for a month.

December 2019 Hazbin Hotel (TV Series)

Y’ALL okay here me out. Am I proud of this one? No. Is the show crass as hell? OOOOOOOOHHHH YEAH. Did my angsty ass love it at the end of last year? DAMN STRAIGHT IT DID. Goes without saying, but this is NOT FOR EVERYBODY, but it definitely helped me along the way to becoming more comfortable with myself and being open about being the massive geek that I always was, and watching things I enjoy regardless of what people say about it.

Joined the fandom: December 2019 Obsession peaked: Shortly there after. Fandom friends: None. Dipped one toe in fandom discourse and then promptly YEETED the fuck outta there. Obsession faded: January 2019. Still curious to see the full series if A24 actually ever does produce the whole thing, but I have def moved away from it. Fanfics you NEED to read: Haven’t read any. Maybe I’m a pussy baby piece-o-shit, but I DID NOT want to go down that rabbit hole, NO MA’AM. Favourite moments:

Discovering the Hunicast podcast. These guys are a riot and Ashley is a flustered GEM. Even if you don’t watch the show, go watch an episode of these fucking LADS just dicking about and your day will get better.

Watching the first episode with my partner and watching him realize his girlfriend is a total freak.

January 2020 Lore Olympus (Webtoon Comic)

*Officially* discovered this one thanksgiving weekend in 2019, but my Arcana phase was still raging pretty strong at that point so I didn’t really get in to it until later. EVERYBODY AND THEIR MOTHER NEEDS TO READ IT. It has everything and handles the reality sexual assault and it’s aftermath EXTREMELY well.

Joined the fandom: Late November 2019 Obsession peaked: January 2020 Fandom friends: KELLEY. MA GIRL XOXOXO Obsession faded: June-ish 2020. I’m like 10 chapters behind now, but I still love this story so much. Fanfics you NEED to read: SO MANY ON MY ‘MARKED FOR LATER’ LIST AAAAAH. I have to get to that... NEW YEARS RESOLUTION lol Favourite moments: Having a drunk conversation on New Years Eve in 2019 with one of my oldest friends from high school about how much she loved it too. Helped me see how popular fandom and fandoms, are especially after feeling like I needed to hide my enthusiasm through high school and uni. (THAT WAS A MISTAKE BUT I’LL GET THERE IN A MINUTE).

February 2020 Versailles (TV Series)

SO FUCKING GAY Y’ALL. Oh my god everyone in this show is so gay. Even when they’re not they still are a little bit. AND BEST OF ALL!! it’s very historically accurate (except for the demon satanic nonsense in season 3, what was that???)

Joined the fandom: February 2020 Obsession peaked: Like??? The SECOND I finished episode one. Fandom friends: none... WHERE ARE ALL OF YOU??? Obsession faded: March 2020. It was a fast and passionate love affair, what can I say? Fanfics you NEED to read: IF YOU HAVE RECS, GIVE ‘EM TO MEEEEE. Favourite moments: 

Showing the first episode to a friend of mine and the *ungodly GASP* that came out of her throat was... PRICELESS.

The ENTIRE throuple(???) relationship between the Chevalier, Philipe, and Palatine. PLATONIC/ ROMANTIC LOVE G O A L S.

March 2020 Yuri!!! On Ice (TV Series)

*deep breath* ...y’all knew this one was coming.

Was I ready for this show to ruin my fucking life? No.  Am I so glad it happened??? FUCK YEAH.

NEVER IN MY LIFE have I fallen off the deep end so quickly with a fandom. HOLY SHIT. This blog didn’t have much of an “identity” before, but I you said that this is a Yuri On Ice blog now I wouldn’t even be mad (nor could I really defend myself to the contrary... bc??? like??? just go LOOK at my archive). Craziest thing is I watched the first two episodes like?? a solid TWO YEARS ago, but I didn’t continue watching because I was just not in the right head space for all the love and silliness and positivity.

I could do a whole separate post about how much this show and how this fandom has changed my life (DON’T TEMPT ME I JUST MIGHT). But I’ll stick with the highlights for now ;)

Joined the fandom: March 2020  Obsession peaked: Has it peaked?? Went straight up and it still going lol Fandom friends: Sandra, my mentor, my queen @aeriamamaduck, my fandom ride-or-die. Thank you for taking this internet bby under your wing. RACHEL @idancewiththefairies I TRAPPED YOU HERE. MUAHAHAHA xxx Obsession faded: ON GOING. CAN’T STOP, WON’T STOP. Fanfics you NEED to read: jfc, SO MANY.

‘Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches’ and ‘Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts’ by Reiya @kazliin​ -- Rivals AU companion pieces. Longest fics I’ve ever read and JESUS CHRIST these two fucking SENT ME. Most popular YOI fics on AO3 for a REASON.

‘Tell Me Where Your Love Lies’ by @aeriamamaduck -- Royalty AU, trope-breaking ABO. Ah sweet, TMWYLL, how you’ve killed me over and over again. This BEAUTIFUL wip has SUCH amazing world-building idk where to start (Congrats on passing 50,000 hits!) EVERYONE GO READ IT.

‘Blackbird’ by sixpences -- WWII/Coldwar Spy Fic. I don’t have enough words to describe how amazing this is. It’s elevated to a higher plane beyond fanfic. Just go read it. Thank me later.

‘Zanka’ by rinsled05 @dreaming-fireflies -- The geisha fic that ruined me. *deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH *gasp* I’m fine. lol I sooooo not ready for this fic. Holy hell, Aoyagi had my heart in his hands from the first chapter. “’Please’ [...] ‘Don’t give me hope.’“ FUUUUCK.

‘Echoes’ by Reiya @kazliin -- Future fic. First fic I cried at... BOI. I was NOT ready for this. Shouldn’t be surprised given the author, but MAN. “‘A love like that, a love like what they had together, it never leaves completely.’ Yuri spoke again, eyes still staring out onto the ice, lost in memory. ‘There are always echoes.’” JUST FUCK ME UP.

Favourite moments: Oh good lord, where do I begin??

Having two (count ‘em TWO) main characters with mental health issues (Yuuri and his anxiety and Victor with burn out and depression) and NOT MAKING IT THE ONLY ASPECT OF THEIR PERSONALITY. CLAPS FOR KUBO AND YAMAMOTO!!

Everything about Yurio (ESPECIALLY HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH YUUKO AND HIS GRANDPA), that tsundere motherfucker is too pure for this world.

THE KISS. THE PROPOSAL. MY HEART WASN’T READY. AAAAAH!!

This fandom *properly* introducing me to smut on AO3...

Thinking I was going to get Rachel to like the show... NOT being prepared for her to fall off the deep end and START LIKING REAL SKATING TOO!!

Staying up waaaaaay too late waaaaaay too often to plan out plot points for TMWYLL with Sandra. Love ya dearie.

The warm fuzzy feeling I get every time I think about Victor and Yuuri.

April 2020 Bungou Stray Dogs (TV Series)

I had a hunch I was gonna like this show considering ALL of the characters are based off of famous classic authors from around the world... what I was NOT prepared for was just HOW MUCH I was going to love it. HOLY SHIT. The art style? Love it. The plot?? Bonkers, but so fun. THE VOICE CAST??? AMAZING. Highly recommend to anyone who wants to get in to anime, great place to start.

Joined the fandom: April 2020 Obsession peaked: Probably this summer? But we have DEF plateaued in a VERY high place. Fandom friends: FIJI. MA BOIIIII @lil-1nsane  Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Hope it doesn’t Fanfics you NEED to read: So so so many. The smut in this fandom is *chef’s kiss*, but here are a few...

‘He Works Hard For the Money’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019​ -- Sugar Daddy AU. FUCK MAN. I was not expecting to like this one, but bloody hell. This fic grabbed me by the throat and WOULD NOT let me go. Praying for chapter 16! But the author is working on another STELLAR fic so I’m okay for now.

‘Everything or Nothing’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019​ -- University AU. FUCK THIS FIC. Started reading it as I was waiting for HWHFTM to update and BOI, this fic ROCKS. The alternating POV fits so well with the enemies/idiots-to-lovers vibe. Solid 10 outta 10.

‘The City Where Wind Blows’ by @raven-rein​ -- Cancer Death fic. *pained shriek* AAAAAAGUUUUUUUHHHH *gasp* aaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, FUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKK MEEEEE. THIS FIC. Only the second fic I’ve ever cried to but I BAWLED MY GODDAMN EYES OUT. FUUUUUUUCK. I was not ready, never would have been ready. This is so tremendously well done, it killed me so beautifully, 

‘Haunted by Hatred’ by DeathBelle -- Canon compliant Soukoku. It is a CRIME that DeathBelle doesn’t have more BSD fics on her page, but this one is still brilliant.

Favourite moments:

THE CHUUYA-DAZAI MAFIA REUNION TEAM UP WHEN THEY FIGHT LOVECRAFT. Ooof. BOI. We love it.

The first three episodes. Soooo many break neck plot twists.

Every insane hypothetical conversation with Fiji.

Every time Atsushi or Tanizaki is on screen bc I LOVE THESE LIL BEANS.

June 2020 Trash Taste (Podcast)

Goddamn I love these chaotic lads so much.

As I became more and more comfortable with myself and my love for anime I stumbled upon these three goons, -- Joey, Connor, and Garnt, -- best known for there SUPER successful (mostly) anime YouTube channels. Even if you don’t watch anime, WATCH/LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST. The focus is mostly on their lives and the overall expat/immigrant experience, with a bit of anecdotal anime references sprinkled in. 

This show is both wholesome and heathenous in equal measure, and after having lived abroad for a significant portion of my (admittedly still quite short) life, it was such a breath of fresh air to hear people talk so openly about how living outside your home country is both wonderful and terrifying. They’re wonderfully candid about the fact that even if you love a place dearly, no where is perfect, and you WILL hate somethings about your new home even if the majority of the experience is fantastic. I cannot rate this show highly enough.

Joined the fandom: June 5th 2020, loved it from the first episode. Obsession peaked: July maybe? I was RELIGIOUS about watching the episodes as soon as they came out. Still watch every week, but less “on time.” Fandom friends: None :( but I have tricked my partner in to listening several times :) Obsession faded: It’s dimmed from where it was, but still going strong. Fanfics you NEED to read: NONE. NEVER PLAN TO. Hard and fast rule, I don’t read fics about real people. Characters played by real people, even that’s a maybe for me. But real-real people? FUCK NO. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Any time Garnt and Connor get into a big-brain-monkey-brain argument and Joey is just LOSING his GODDAMN MIND in the corner.

Bringing a retired Japanese porn star in the show for an honest conversation about consensual sex work and showing people can have more than one career in life.

Everything about the, ‘Are Online Friends Real Friends?’ episode. GO WATCH IT, it’s brilliant.

Garnt making “chotto-THE-FUCKING-matte” an expression

August 2020 Great Pretender (TV Series)

Spent most of the summer marinating in my BSD and YOI bubbles, until THIS BAD BOI came up on my Netflix recommendations. HOOOO BOI. This is some Anime Of The Year shit right here. Has a pretty original concept (Catch Me If You Can by way of Oceans 11-ish) but generally starts out like most other shounen (sans the super powers). AND THEN EPISODE FIVE HAPPENS. Not gonna spoil it but they TOOK THAT SHIT UP A NOTCH. Brilliant, even with a bit of an insane ending. GO WATCH THIS ONE.

Joined the fandom: August 2020 Obsession peaked: Pretty much as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: What’s up Fiji ;) @lil-1nsane Obsession faded: Naturally faded, but so glad I watched Fanfics you NEED to read: None so far! Little scared about this one, heard mixed reviews, but maybe someday. Favourite moments:

Edamame’s “madness arc” at the end of season 2. HOOOO BOY.

Laurent getting fucking WRECKED when Edamame punches him mid way through season 2, kills me every time.

Introducing my partner to anime with this show.

October 2020 Attack on Titan (TV Series)

RETURN OF THE KING. lol

In my quest to find an anime that I can watch with my partner, I turned on season 1 of this bad boi. Holy hell I forgot how much I loved this show, NO WONDER everyone lost their goddamn minds when this show first aired. I NEED to catch up before all the season four spoilers come to get me...

Joined the fandom: Winter 2016 Obsession peaked: Basically as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: None yet, but I know you’re out there... Obsession faded: 2017, JUST BEFORE SEASON TWO... I should have stuck around longer I know, but it’s slowly coming back. Reeeeeally need to catch up on seasons two, three, and four. Fanfics you NEED to read: GIVE ME YOUR RECS HEATHENS. Favourite moments:

Watching my partner FREAK OUT about Eren’s “death.”

EVERYTHING ABOUT POTATO GORL! lol

Getting in a conversation with a die hard fan after I hadn’t watched it in three years and saying... “Who’s that blond bitch that cries all the time?”/ “Armin?”/ “THAT’S THE ONE!”

November 2020... kind of. Figure Skating (Sport)

Okay this one is a bit hard to explain. 

I have been a DIE HARD figure skating for A LOOOOOONG time. My grandmother got me a hat from the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City and I remember watching even then. But I first became consciously aware of different skaters, my faves, etc. from about 2010. I vividly remember watching Plushenko skating in 2014 while on a school trip to Hawaii, and my friends laughing at me as I yelled at the TV.

But I didn’t TRULY get involved in the fandom side of it until this year. I had all this knowledge bottled up, but didn’t have any skating friends to talk to... UNTIL NOW. Super ironic that this happened in a year with almost NO skating, but I’ll take what I can get ;) Also did I stay up until FOUR-GODDAMN-THIRTY IN THE MORNING a few nights ago to stream Japanese Nationals on my phone??? YOU BET I DID.

Joined the fandom: Three times; 2002, 2010, and 2020. Obsession peaked: 2014? 2018? Idk it peaks any time someone does something amazing. Fandom friends: Rachel, my girl @idancewiththefairies​, WHY DIDN’T I INTRODUCE YOU TO THIS SOONER??? Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Won’t. lol Fanfics you NEED to read: NOPE. NONE. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. No fanfics about real people. Never gonna change that. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir doing THAT routine at the 2018 Olympics.

Rachel​ sheepishly admitting to me that Shoma may have replaced Yuzu as her favourite, and me being SO DAMN PROUD of her for growing and developing her own skating opinions apart from me.

Yuzu’s 2012 ‘Romeo and Juliet’ routine and Worlds. THE RAW FUCKING POWER OF THAT SKATE.

Plushenko, cheeky bastard, changing his 2014 Team Event routine AS IT WAS HAPPENING.

The worlds friendliest rivalry between Yuzu and Nathan.

Any thing the Shibutani’s do, and all they do to break up the stereotype that all of Ice Dancing has to be rOmAnTiC and SeNsUaL to be good.

Watching my early faves become coaches and the D R A M A.

Honorable Mentions:

Coco (Film): I watched this the weekend I came home and I owe this movie a lot. It is so sweet an heartwarming, and it a roundabout way it brought me back to Tumblr (needed somewhere to vent my feelings considering I watched the movie a solid THREE YEARS after it came out, Tumblr seemed like the place to go lol). Watched in again in 2020 and it’s just as amazing.

Jekyll and Hyde (All media): Loved this book from the first time I read it in my first year of uni. But in December 2019, my fandom understanding reached its PEAK. The musical?? The comic?? YOOOOOO.

Dear Evan Hansen (Musical): I have BARELY engaged in fandom discourse, but the MUSIC. She fucking SLAPS.

Sirius the Jaeger (TV Series): This show is such an underrated gem. It literally has so much; "dead” family drama? Eclectic international group of monster hunters? Cowboys and vampires?? Yes, yes, and YES. And the main character has the same Japanese voice actor as Atsushi from BSD!

Studio Ghilbi (Films): My love affair with Ghibli goes back to when I was about 5 and BEGGED my mom to take me to the library so we could rent Kiki’s Delivery Service on DVD. But that love has been FULLY rejuvenated this year when I went to the Ghibli Film Festival in New York City (ironically in the last week in February). If you haven’t seen them, go watch From Up On Poppy Hill, Whisper of the Heart, and The Wind Rises. Spoilers, you’re probably gonna cry.

If you’ve made it this far, THANK YOU FOR READING! 

And thank you to all the amazing people that made my 2020 not so horrible. Good riddance 2020, don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

[kitchenscene]

B, K, S?

B - any of your stories inspired by personal experiences?

generally i don't copy plots from my life but i'll copy conversations or little details. in four chambers when eddie is going through his photos and the stories behind them, a lot of those are things from my childhood or friend's childhoods. this drabble has an orange prius in it because i make fun of my friend and her orange prius all the time. and obviously all roads lead to space is not inspired by my life, but a lot of the buck/chim conversations and buck/eddie texts are inspired by texts with my friends.

i could probably find at least one line/paragraph in each fic that has some roots in my real life

K - what is the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

literally every time i write a fic there's a voice in my head that says "what if you gave it a horrible, awful sad ending?" and then the reasonable part of my brain says "literally why would you do that you hate sad endings." every time i work on the astronaut au my brain goes "what if eddie... just died in space?" then i immediately go "WHY would i do that literally whywhwywhwy"

if you look at my fics none of them are really angsty because im a sucker for nice things and happy endings. i will say i'm working on an au right now that has a LOT of hurt/comfort, but of course it's a happy ending

S - any fandom tropes you can't resist?

several, on rotation. tsunami fics, married buddie, fake relationship, bed sharing/cuddling, friends to fiances, probably several more that aren't coming to mind

fanfic ask meme

[carynsilver]

Fic Recs: Stony Edition

Even with things starting to open up a bit, sheltering in place is still basically life and diverting reads still keep my spirits up. So, I’m continuing my mission to spread a little love and positivity to some of my favorite fanfic writers--the writers whose works I come back to again and again for enjoyment and comfort. I’ve done Stucky and Drarry already--today, is Stony.

I follow a lot of Stucky and Stony writers on Tumblr, and I’ve noticed enmity for the opposing characters. I mean, no judgment--like what you like, or don’t like what you don’t like--you do you. Personally, though, I actually love all these MCU characters. I’m just as happy with Steve and Bucky as brothers/BFFs in a Stony story as I am with Tony together with Pepper or Bruce or Rhodey in a Stucky story. As long as the characters remain their awesome selves whoever they are with, my multi-shipper heart is happy. :-)

Anyway, enough rambling, and let’s talk about fics, shall we? In my other rec lists, I limited myself to one story per author, but I just could not do that with Stony. My favorite authors in this ship have so many good stories!

The Act of Creation Will Be Your Salvation by @scifigrl47

This story... When I read it, I cried. I just told my MCU-loving hubs about it, and he got teary (though he is a big softie!). The Dummy POV in this is just so, so good... and heart wrenching... and good. TBH, I haven’t actually read any subsequent stories in the Bots series because this one was so perfect as it was. It is amazing, and everyone should read it.

Gift With Purchase Remix by @sabrecmc

Steve is a reluctant hooker (with the requisite heart of gold as well as a sympathetic reason for taking the gig), and Tony is the billionaire who takes him home. Of course, they fall in love. I love how sweet and awkward Steve is in this, and Tony’s sweetness masked by pretending not to care is the perfect foil. I come back to this fic often when I’m just in the mood for a feel-good fic where Tony is quintessentially Tony and I know there’s going to be a happy ending. I also really love the Bucky and Steve friendship in this one. Buck is snarky and speaks his mind, but he also puts Steve first, like a brother/BFF should. And if you like this one, sabrecmc has a bunch of other great stories, one of which is on this list later on.

The Foodieverse by @copperbadge and @scifigrl47

This was one of the first chef AUs that I ever read, and it definitely converted me to that trope. Now, I’ll always click on a story that uses it, but this one is still the best I’ve read in any ship. Steve is the hot, hipster, food truck chef and Tony owns a molecular gastronomy restaurant. The rest of the verse is fleshed out with all your other MCU faves in various jobs, most cooking related. Sam owns a potato-themed food truck. Fury and the Shield Co. own a restaurant where you cook and eat in the dark. Thor owns a pub. This is another AU that is just really fun, and I come back to it regularly when I need some cooking Stony feels. I was shocked when a new story in this verse popped up recently. It was awesome to see that it’s not necessarily over. :-)

we should just kiss like real people do by @theappleppielifestyle

Little Skinny!Steve mooning over his favorite celebrity in a bar, and that celebrity overhears and offers to bring him home for the night. This fic is just adorable--vehement yet smitten Steve, slightly unsure but also smitten Tony, rambling through the Stark mansion, late night swimming, playing with bots, and a happy ending. There is nothing not to love here.

Stark Industries (The Office) Verse by orbingarrow

It’s lonely at the top of Stark Enterprises for poor Tony, until he meets the crazy kids in the Security Admin Department (S.A.D.) and gets invited to play their cheeky little scavenger hunt game where a picture with Tony Stark (unknown awesome) and getting Steve laid earn you the most points. And, in the end, Tony might just end up with a boyfriend and a new group of S.A.D. friends who are uniquely qualified to save his life! And if you like this one, you should also check out orbingarrow’s Lobsters series.

Wrapped Up In Clover by @festiveferret

The past: Bucky and Steve needed a new roommate. Enter a disinherited Tony. Steve and Tony fall in love until, suddenly, Tony dumps Steve when he comes back into his inheritance. The present: Bucky and Clint are having a destination wedding, and Steve is horrified when Tony shows up as someone’s surprise plus one. I love the back and forth timelines, I love the angst and pining, I love the happy ending. And it even has a backdrop of Winterhawk, which is another of my fave MCU ships. And if you like this one, you’d also like festiverferret’s Greyscale and Jinx, among others.

For a Good Time Call... by @tenspencerriedplease

The opening hook of this--Tony actually calling a number written on a bathroom stall--yanked me in, but it’s the rest of the story that made this one stick in my mind. Tony and Steve’s relationship grows as Tony realizes he’s aromantic, and along the way he learns about different ways of being asexual and aromantic, as well. I think reading this was the first time I’d heard of queer platonic relationships. This story is both interesting in its subject matter and as a story. It also has that found family trope that I love in any universe/fandom.

The Toasterverse by @scifigrl47

More scifigrl47, but who could blame me?! The lovely @virtual-insomnia introduced me to this universe, though she called it the Roomba verse, lol. It’s a little convoluted to follow, as it’s sorted into two different series threads--the one linked above and the Phil Coulson’s Case Files series. There is a list at the top of the stories in chronological order, but I’d recommend reading the Tony Stark Builds His Friends stories first then go on to the Phil Coulson files. This series is both funny and angsty in the best way. The Stony is great, but so are the other characters. I mean, the Roombas themselves are worth reading for. This was the first series I read that had Clint/Coulson in it, and this Darcy is a total BAMF. She becomes one of four entry-level shield agents, and the four of them are a riot! My actual favorite story in this verse is Phil Coulson Knows Tony Stark’s Super Villain Name, but you need to read the rest of the series to really appreciate it.

Celestial Navigation by @sabrecmc

I honestly love all of sabrecmc’s stories that I’ve read (check out the Vegas one if you get a chance, too), but Celestial Navigation and Gift With Purchase Remix are my absolute favorites. Celestial Navigation is an ABO story, where Omega Tony is basically given to Alpha Steve--like, there’s consent, but Tony’s other choices are so awful that it’s fairly dubious. Steve is Captain America, but no one knows his identity. Poor Steve in this fic is just SO messed up, and Tony is, too (coming from an abusive home). But Steve wants to do right by his omega, and he does his best to learn and change, to be a good Alpha and treat his Omega as a person, not a designation. And Tony slowly, slowly learns to trust. When these two finally do fall in love, it is really earned. Orbital Mechanics is the same story from Steve’s POV, but it’s still a WIP.

Tiny Spy Assassin Steve by @copperbadge

Finally, I’ll conclude this list with more copperbadge. I really have a weakness for Small!Steve paired with Tony. In this one, Tony is Tony (it starts pre-Iron Man) and Steve is a SHIELD agent. It’s got identity porn, falling in love, and lots of MCU characters. The first two stories in the series are alternate versions of Iron Man and Thor/Iron Man 2 in this verse. There were some hints of further alternate movies that didn’t happen, but the stories there are complete, and there are a bunch of fun shorts in the verse, as well. And, hey, if another long movie retelling showed up one day, I would be there.

Happy reading, everyone!

[aashiqeddiediaz]

F, K, and S for the writing ask!

KIT. Hello!

Your name reminds me of Kit Voss from The Resident because I love her wisisksksk and you ❤️❤️

Anyway, onwards!

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you’ve written and why you’re proud of it

Probably any of my communication pieces because I’d like to think they’re all a little different from one another. Any of the dialogue in the love definition is my favourite but:

“I didn’t think you would’ve noticed that,” Dad confessed, fiddling with the rim of the mug. “It took me a long time to come to terms with it. Your mom and I...I loved her, I still love her. But we weren’t in love with each other. Shannon and I ended up getting married on a whim, then got pregnant with you and never really looked back. But we were so young, and in a pretty unstable place.

“I made a lot of mistakes back then. The list is a mile long, and I know you know most of them. Shannon and I built a marriage on rocky ground, but eventually, it crumbled because neither of us was willing to understand each other. We couldn’t make it work, no matter how much we tried. Couldn’t put it back together.

“The difference with Buck is that he’s my best friend before anything else. Before my husband, before the father of my kid, he’s my best friend, my partner. My soulmate - that’s what makes us work.

“I’m not saying you have to marry your best friend or whatever, but...at one point, your partner needs to be someone who understands you, even if it takes a while to get there. Someone who accepts you for all parts of you. And they have to be willing to adapt to inevitable changes even if they don’t always like them. Buck and I aren’t the same people we married 12 years ago; we get to know each other every day, all over again, and that’s part of the fun, too.

Sorry lol that’s a long snippet.

Anyway.

K: What is the angstiest idea you’ve come up with?

Well...I do have an MCD fic that is posted but does need to be finished. But I have another WIP that’s very angsty, it’s very raw and real which I’m not gonna go into right now but it’s definitely a monster. Hehe.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

I’m assuming this is about writing. I can’t resist cuddling tropes. Or just...comfort. And yearning. We can’t forget the yearning.

I can’t resist character studies either it seems lol.

Hehe thank you kit!

Fanfic ask game