#i literally think about this so often. i have much to say. mostly because i think shockwave would look very very cute with a full tummy

[comicbookhyperfixationtime]

Oh my God you're right he totally is Born Sexy Yesterday! They literally start sexualizing him before he's even fully conscious ("Does he need CPR? I know CPR!"). Also, the Obligatory Cheesecake Scene where he's walking around shirtless is 100% him being an Innocent Fanservice Girl. 😭

I do get what you mean about "fem-coded" though, I agree that that's probably not correct term for this. I usually think of someone being "coded" as an intentional choice on the writers part, and I'm fairly confident that almost no Thor writer intended to play on this dichotomy. I also usually think of "coded" as when some fantastical element of a character is used as a commentary for a real-world identity. Like, mutants are "LGBTQ-coded" or "POC-coded" because their stories explore themes of oppression and ostracization without actually being about a real world minority. Data is "autism-coded" because he's not actually autistic, he's a robot, but his themes and arcs touch on topics relating to neurodivergency, such as struggling with affective empathy and feelings of isolation. As such, I don't think "fem-coded" is the right way to describe authors (mostly unintentionally) assigning Thor stereotypically feminine traits and tropes. However, I don't have a better word for it, so, fem-coded it is I guess.

Also, while I have seen other male heroes experience some of these tropes (Captain America is also often in sexy-distress, Nightwing is often presented with the female gaze, etc) I've never seen so many converge quite like they do on Thor. If I had to guess what it is about him that attracts all this "fem-coding" its probably because he's so masc and not despite of it. @kimmsauce also mentioned this, and I agree, that sexual assault against Thor is brushed off because he's just so much physically stronger than any of his assaulters. I think a similar train of thought applies to other aspects of his "fem-coding." Thor performs masculinity so well that writers feel like they can assign him femme traits, like his love of cooking, without damaging that perception of him as "manly."

The unusual crossing of gender barriers with Thor was sort of baked into the character from the beginning. Even during the Lee and Ditko run the seeds were being planted. Visually, Thor was presented with long blonde hair in an era when that was utterly unthinkable on a man, people commented on his "girly" appearance from day one. He was sexualized from the moment he started interacting with female characters, not only in the typical, passive swoony way with Jane Foster, but also with Janet van Dyne's more aggressive (and dare I say, almost masculine) approach (somebody the Avengers an HR department stat). He was always a soft-hearted, a hopeless romantic, and his civilian identity was a doctor, a healer (a traditionally feminine archetype, albeit a traditionally masculine career).

Basically TLDR that man was made to be bbygirl-ed.

Sorry. I didn't mean anything bad with fem coded Thor ask.

No no don't worry, I know what you were trying to say because I think thor (and thor reception as a character) is very different to how male characters are usually portrayed in superhero type stuff but the way fandoms use fem coded really has me climbing the walls.

I'll answer your ask properly because I absolutely DO wanna talk about but I gotta go get ready for work!

[cybertron-smash-or-pass]

I need tfa shockwave to become bloated and to make him gain weight. Imagining him moping and eating energon ice cream

I can totally imagine him spending those 50 years stranded with Autobots, under the impression that Megatron's dead, overeating to get through the grief and try to keep himself sane.

I'm not personally all that into sad weight gain myself, but the idea of characters feeling guilty or conflicted about it has always kind of struck a chord with me. Whenever I think about shockwave stuffing or weight gain stuff, it's usually in the context of when he first starts climbing the ranks and gets access to better and more decadent fuel with higher pay and with him getting invited to Upper Class Social Functions™️.

On the one hand it's Good Fucking Energon, better than anything he's ever been able to get when they knew he was a warframe, not before the war (lower class, not financially secure enough to blow that much on fancy fuel), not during (gotta ration this stuff), not after (the cons had been just barely scraping by on the outskirts of the galaxy, the energon's mid at best). Its a chance to enjoy something he's been denied all his life. On the other hand he is filled with so much fucking rage that the Autobots bask in luxury while he and his kind have been left with the scraps, and something about indulging in that same luxury while it's kept so exclusive feels like a betrayal of his people and his principles.

Buuuuuut principles and rationality can only hold up for so long against the desire for a Little Treat. Or two. Or seven. Or, uh.... He lost count. Dammit...

[pantestudines]

having a "former gifted kid" type mental spiral

[medicinemane]

I don't know, I get tired of a lot of positivity

Like yes yes, the world's wonderful and I'm so strong or whatever generic thing is being said (because it's always so generalized to the point of meaningless), but you know shit is what it is, and the only way forward is with changes I manage to make... which you're not helping with at all

And as for like... my internal mood, I'm deeply isolated, sorry if hollow platitudes don't sooth the gaping maw inside me

It is what it is, and I probably get my shit together enough to do stuff like teach out of my basement like I'd like, it's just I believe that I'll be alone in a crowd like I've always been

But positivity... I just... I kinda get sick of it. There's this guy on youtube I watch who talks about economics stuff, he's recently started doing positivity and... I just fucking know his personality enough where it's like sorry mate but I'm not interested in hearing you spout Secret light kinds off drivel

...I don't know, I suppose it boils down to this

One, I can barely fucking take in positive things said directly to me, about me. Generalizations don't help even a little... I'm a mess, I'd really like someone to toss me a life preserver instead of always tossing confetti at me while I struggle to stay afloat... doesn't help

Two, the world is a terribly imperfect place, and rather than taking a mentality of "everything will work out", I think it's important to acknowledge that sometimes good people live alone, die alone, and they never got the break they needed and slowly bled out

I think it's worth knowing that if you can't step in and help yourself, then maybe no help'll come at all

...I don't know, I suppose in the end the core of what I'm saying is a lot of positivity seems like self help tier stuff and... I get tired of that, and I see so many good people struggling and... eh... either I can at least come in and say something positive custom fit to them, or I can keep my mouth shut

Just fucking let me rot. Help or let me fester on my own, you know?

I got rid of the trailer, I maybe did something like cleaning though I can't tell... at what point will my pace on trying to make things better be good enough for people, and I'll be able to stop having people tell me to fix my life... as if I hadn't thought of that already

...everyone means well, it's just tiring

[autisticlee]

I don't understand why so many religious weirdos claim dinosaurs never existed and the bones/fossils dug out of the ground were buried under rock by scientists and then dug back out. it makes no sense at all. does their religion book tell them they were fake? is that what it is? because they seem to love letting some old mistranslated book dictate their entire life, thoughts, feelings, actions, etc. they even make up stuff the book supposedly says to excuse their behavior and justify horrible things, which makes them hypocrites for not actually following their book they claim tells them exactly how to live their lives that they must follow exactly or they will go to hell. but they sure like to pick and choose what they follow and make up new rules. but anyway, why do they hate dinosaurs lmao

[burningcomputerpersona]

also how is it that spanish love songs has such good merch??? i don't think I've ever been to a show before where I had to struggle so hard to pick just one thing, like in a lot of cases there's only really one thing that appeals to me or I just get something bc i love the band and need to have them on me regardless of what the design looks like. but i was spending ages just staring at the merch stand trying to pick one out of alllll the things i wanted

[heckling-hydrena]

I have a complicated relationship with the concept of microlabels and more specifically aspec microlabels, because on one hand I have nothing against people who want to use a term that more closely describes their experiences it's literally none of my business good for them etc. but on the other hand I do think that sometimes people feel pushed to use microlabels because there are sooo many misconceptions about what asexuality and aromanticism actually are. so for example people who are just discovering their identity will try to connect with other aspecs, realize their experiences don't fully match every other aspec's experiences and get insecure, and that leads to interactions like "is it normal that I'm aromantic but I like shipping and romcoms?" "that actually means you're aegoromantic!" like it doesn't have to! it literally doesn't have to you don't have to identify as aego you can just call yourself aromantic! I feel like it would be way more productive to put effort into dispelling the idea that there's a 'proper' way to be asexual/aromantic instead of creating a microlabel for every experience that doesn't match common stereotypes.

and I'm gonna talk about asexuality specifically here because asexuality is still talked about so much more often (sorry to the aroallo warriors out there) but we've, and I can only assume this is a consequence of the stupid fucking ace discourse, internalized this weird idea that anyone who doesn't 100% fit into the category of 'never felt sexual attraction ever + no libido + sex-repulsed + never even THINKS about sex' either needs to use a microlabel or maybe even isn't really asexual. I've genuinely seen people ask "can I be asexual if I masturbate" "can I be asexual if I think this fictional character is hot" like YES? YES OBVIOUSLY? who is making you feel like you can't call yourself asexual point them out in the crowd for me tell me their name and their home address.

not to mention the fringe group of idiots (and I'll be real it's mostly weirdo terfs saying this shit) who are like "ohhh I feel bad for the REAL asexuals IF they even EXIST because these STRAIGHT people who don't put out on the first date are HIJACKING their community" which pisses me off so bad every time I see it. who the fuck are you to speak for me? keep your forked tongue behind your teeth etc etc.

like idk! people are totally allowed to call themselves aceflux and quoiromantic and fray and litho and whatever they want, but they should never feel like they have to! and it's become abundantly clear that some are being made to feel like they have to.

[redr0sewrites]

Viktor general romance hcs!

🥀A/n: HES SO POOKIE I LOVE HIM‼️

🥀Cw: fluff, smut, slight angst if u squint, switch!viktor

🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion

sfw:

this man is such a workaholic, he genuinely never thought that he would fall in love

viktor is very inexperienced in the romance department, so he's definitely a little awkward at first

once he's close with someone, he definitely starts to open up to them a lot more! he'd really appreciate a partner that he can have deep, philosophical conversations with and definitely asks for your opinion on a lot of things

your a very valuable person in his life, and viktor makes sure that you know that. while he may not be great with words, his actions show that he truly cares for you

while he may not admit it, viktor loves when you complete acts of service for him or help him at all. he loves when you visit him in the lab and bring him some coffee, it always makes his day

because he works so much and spends so much time in the lab, viktor will often invite you to join him there. you two often spend hours together, just sitting in near-silence and working in tandem. viktor would love it if you got along well with jayce (and sky too but mostly jayce), you are his favorite people and he would love it if you all got along

viktor isn't the most cuddly person in the world, but he makes some exceptions for you! after a long day, he loves just melting into your embrace and having you play with his hair. viktor would spend hours just laying in your lap and rambling about hextech if he could

he's not big on pda, but he loves holding your hand. viktor holds your hand anywhere and everywhere, he always wants you as close to him as possible and he'll sometimes trace words into the back of your hand with his thumb when you are asleep. before he said "i love you" out loud, viktor probably traced it against your skin at least a million times.

viktor prefers to stay in for dates, and definitely enjoys staying up late with you. idk if they have television in the world of arcane, but it seems a little shocking that they can have giant magical teleportation portals and literal magic orbs and magic flying blimps and body enhancing drugs but haven't created a tv. so like. lets just pretend they do have television. cuz if they do, than you and viktor DEFINITELY have movie marathons and movie nights together

he loves making you little trinkets and gifts!!! whenever there is extra material leftover at the lab, viktor's first thought is to make something for you! he once made you an entire bouquet of fake flowers out of scrap metal, and told you that he would love you until the flowers withered (it would never wither cuz its made of metal ☹️). your home is practically overflowing with these little trinkets, but you REFUSE to get rid of any of them (i think i saw the flower scenario on a tiktok, but URGRHRHRH i wanna write it so... if anyone is interested... 😇)

honestly, the best time spent with viktor is in the comfort of your own home. you have a very domestic relationship, and he likes sitting with you in comfortable silence.

he'll call you pet names in zaun, even before you two are together😭

overall, viktor is genuinely such a sweetheart once he trusts you and will stay by your side no matter what

nsfw:

SWITCH LEANING SUB 🫵🫵🫵

because of his leg and overall sickness, viktor definitely prefers simpler positions that don't require a lot of physical stress

he likes having you on top of him so that he doesn't have to put pressure on his knee, and he definitely prefers not having to push himself too hard

i'd say his favorite positions would probably be you riding him, sitting on his face, lotus position, and maybe 69 or missionary too (but the last two are only on good days when he isn't in too much pain)

at first, viktor was insecure about sleeping with you because he genuinely does not think very highly of himself and didn't want you to think that he was weak or ugly :( please reassure him

ON THAT TOPIC!!! PRAISE!!!!!!

praise is literally SO important to him, while it is one of his kinks i genuinely think he appreciates it outside of the bedroom as well.

lots and lots of communication. "is this ok", "can i touch you here", type of stuff. he's very gentle with you, and obviously you are with him as well

because he wears his leg brace literally all the time, viktor has a handful of bruises and scars from the brace rubbing against his skin 24/7 (idk if he sleeps w it on tbh- im assuming not but u get the point) and he can be a little insecure about them. PLEASE kiss them and show his body a lot of affection in general

viktor isn't super vocal at first, but once he trusts you he lets out the neediest whines and moans. he curses a lot under his breath, and he has a verrryyyyy pretty fucked-out expression.

this man is a switch 100%. most of the time he subs and bottoms, but sometimes he'll dom from the bottom and very occasionally he'll dom from on top. when he's a sub i definitely see him as, like, the male version of a pillow princess. he definitely just wants to lay back and get taken care of, and will get very pouty if you do not do so. he loves being pampered and praised and he's SOOO sensitive when he's subbing. when he's in a more dominant mood, i see him getting off on your pleasure a lot more than his own. he loves fingering you, and definitely loves overstimulating you

viktor loves being marked and also marking you. he bites down on your shoulder a lot to muffle his moans, and he loves giving you hickeys. i genuinely think that's another one of his kinks as well

TOYS!!! im sorry but this man definitely has an extensive collection of sex toys you can't tell me im wrong bc im not. he isn't inexperienced by any means, but he probably got a lot of toys over the years because he just didn't really have that many partners and just wanted to try a bunch of things on his own yk? anyways, he fucking LOVES using them on you and teasing you mercilessly is definitely part of your guys' foreplay

this man has the most gorgeous hands and definitely puts them to good use‼️ you cannot tell me viktor does not have amazingly skilled hands bc your wrong. he literally does jayce told me

i don't think he's super vanilla but i also don't think he's into like SUPER hardcore bdsm? i think it would intrigue him but he's probably the type to be into what you are into and if you want to try something new, he's more than willing (as long as its safe. either of you getting seriously hurt is a major nono for him). that being said, i don't think he'd mind being handcuffed or experimenting a bit with shibari, but you guys DEFINITELY have a safeword. like even if you have 100% vanilla soft sex he still establishes a safeword with u and makes sure your comfortable.

overall, his kinks include: praise (giving and receiving), little bit of edging (receiving), overstimulation (only giving), marking, and kind of a wildcard but also maybe somnophilia. like he would NOT complain about waking up to head lmao- he's def the type to have wet dreams i want to write this omg

i am so! tired!!! still feeling very crappy but i am pushing through my classes until the end of the year 😭 i am so close and yet so far 🙂‍↕️

ANYWAYS HOPE U ENJOYED!!! FEEL FREE TO SEND IN ARCANE REQUESTS!!! ive also been on a huge jayce x viktor streak lately? im not usually a big shipper but their dynamic intrigues me. i want to put them in a jar together and shake them around a bit. but yea i love them both!!!

[astrobydalia]

🐍New year astro observations

first post of 2025, the year of the snake!

– astrobydalia

A thing I've noticed is that degrees can carry some energy from the dignities. For example if you have your Mercury in 21º degree in whatever sign, that mercury can express characteristics of debilitation since that's a sagittarius degree and mercury is debiltated in sagittarius

Aquarius placements, specially venus, appear picky when choosing their friends or people they truly like but honestly I've noticed that all they want is someone who has a personality. Like literally just be your own person and they’ll love seeing how you’re someone with many layers to you. It sounds simple but we live in a society where the instinct is to imitate others to fit in and Aquarius placements like it when you're (genuinely) true to yourself. Does not mean they will make you their bestie cause that depends on each individual but they at least appreciate the authenticity.

^^I remember this Aquarius Venus guy had a crush on me back in college and he once said to me "I like you because you're complicated"😭

Aquarius/11th house placements befriend people who share their political/philosophical/spiritual ideals. I’ve noticed that the people they ghost the most are the ones who don’t share their visions

Mercury rx natives are very good listeners actually. Even if they have the planet in domicile or exaltation, they are very patient when it comes to obsorbing info that's why I've seen this placement is common in "nerds" or book worms. They take their time understanding things and can come across as slow sometimes but they’re just very meticulous.

Capricorn Moons and their “facts don’t care about your feelings” attitude while simultaneously being the most sensitive and emotional person in the room

Something else I've seen with debilitated moons (scorpio/cap moon) is that they tend to have no patience or sympathy for people who seem to have it easy in life in some way. They only seem to respect people who know what it's like to struggle like they have

Virgo Mars natives are low-key misanthropic and/or introverts. They don’t like being around people for too long cause they very easily feel a lot of disdain for others' dumb and nonsense behaviors. It’s like they seem to be so easily exasperated by everything and everyone ​

Also, I’ve noticed Virgo Mars people are the type to stay low profile during conflicts or tense situations, mostly choose flight over fight response. They are surprisingly calm and collected and will find a solution or escape in no time. When they feel threatened and choose to fight tho… they get cold-blooded af

Taurus Venus natives are so POISED and elegant and I say that as a libra venus. You will never see them being messy, they behave with a lot of class always

Venus-Sun conjunction in synastry is actually not so good imo. In a natal chart this is considered a weak aspect for relationships because venus is combust. When we find it in synastry, this means Sun person combusts venus person. At best Venus person almost worships Sun person to their detriment. At worst Venus person feels like sun person is too much and tends to see the sun person as too obnoxious

I also think this is why Sun-Moon conjunction in synastry is overrated. Moon is too soft of a planet and sun feeds off of the moon’s affection while moon becomes attached and drained. I’ve very often seen with this aspect how sun person unknowingly offends or hurts moon person in some way

Also, strong venus synastry between women can manifest as toxic competition, "cat fight" energy

Venus opposite/square Moon is a very phony aspect tbh specially the square. They appear to be way nicer than they actually are

I've noticed men with Leo placements tend to be pretty sexist and openly defend traditional gender roles or patriarchy values. The instinct of Leo men is to be the 'king', the leader and Alpha just like actual lions. However if they also have strong feminine energy in their chart such as major water and earth energy they tend to show more benevolent sexism or chivalry behavior

Gemini placements will immediately like you if you are someone who is open to chill chats with them and you overall make them feel like they can freely rant to you about random stuff

Cancers are very infantilized but imo they are the least naive and most intelligent out of all the water signs. Cancer Moons in particular I've noticed can actually have a very accurate and impartial intuition. Cancer Moons have this ability to just understand and accept people's feelings, intentions and situations exactly for what they are without any judgement which makes them VERY intelligent people. Idk I’ve just seen cancer moons are actually the most level-headed out of all water moons

Leo Venus honestly give me huge pick-me vibes and low-key have the personality of a spoiled brat fr. I've seen ppl with this placement be a lil to obsessed with getting sexual attention and being the most desirable person in the room

honestly I've noticed that the people I genuenly get along with the best in the long run are people I have 1st house synastry with. There's something about 1st house synastry that feels SO uplifting and refreshing like there's this spark everytime you see or are with this person and you just naturally get eachother's vibe

That said, 7th house synastry is a bit overrated imo. Again, not saying it is bad but this is the house of open enemies as well as partnerships. 7th house represents parts of yourself you have a hard time accessing and that's why you attract people with this energy. Therefore 7th house synastry often creates love-hate dynamics, cause it's like yeah you like the person on a surface level but there's always some hidden 'BUT' bc they low-key embody the exact opposite of what you identify (1st house)

6th house synastry is very common in people that dislike each other, specially the house person disliking the planets person

Virgo placements are STARVED for validation like no other sign but they hide this well cause they don't wanna appear desperate. They tend to carry this teachers pet behavior to all sorts of aspects of their life hence the trope of virgo being obedient or goodie-two-shoes

I need to ask Capricorn Mars people: when do y’all sleep? Every single minute of these people’s lives is occupied with some activity, be that work or leisure. And funny thing is they never seem to be overwhelmed or tired at all, in fact the more they do the more energized they seem to be

Something else I’ve noticed with Capricorn Mars is that they tend to have a very bold and obnoxious personality. Even if they are more introverted, they tend to be a little too direct to the point where they can come across as rude, insensitive and power-hungry. But at the same time this makes them appear competent and confident and a lot of ppl like that about them

Scorpio Juno natives tend to be very opportunistic and greedy when it comes to business. Sometimes to the point of having questionable work ethic sometimes. Overall this is a major placement for indicating talent in business or finance and making a lot of money

Libra Venus natives have a wondering eye definitely. What makes them start to consider someone as a potential partner is looks first and foremost, the rest comes later lol

I once saw an observation that said “gemini placements want you to listen to them but they won’t listen to you” and let me tell you this is a FACT. Talking with a Gemini placement feels like they’re just brain dumping stuff on you💀💀Love you guys tho

Libra loves to flex their wealth, achievements and status a lot more than Capricorn/Scorpio/Leo

Capricorn placements are naturally good educators and they honestly give me influencer energy low-key. They just naturally have this trustworthy and competent energy that when they lean into guiding and teaching people in some way they really excel and attract success the most

Venus-Venus synastry >>>>>> Venus-Mars synastry. With Venus-Venus aspects (even harsh ones) there’s a natural desire to bond/come together with this person in some way no matter what, so the attraction is most of the time mutual and very lasting. You also just naturally like each other and genuinely enjoy each other’s presence. If the relationship is sexual then the sex is just as good if not better than with Mars cause Venus rules pleasure and you’ll both want to please each other while Mars tends to be more self-serving sexually

This is not to say Venus-Mars aspects in synastry are bad, they definitely can create nice bond, chemistry and all of that. But Venus and Mars have opposing natures which can create strong attraction and irresistible pull because they compliment each other but at the same time it can also manifest as mismatching dynamics in the relationship where you aren't always in the same page, specially with harsh aspects. Just my opinion tho.

I know I've said this before but I wanna reiterate that Mars in the 7th house synastry does not reap good results in the long run as per my observation. Its giving friends-to-enemies or lovers-to-enemies energy. There's this feeling of instantly clicking with this person but very soon becomes evident that the two people have conflicting drives and desires which creates a LOT of tensions and unspoken competition/resentment. I've noticed it creates a dynamic where eventually one or both but specially the mars person in particular ends up resenting the house person

I’ve also talked about this before but I just keep observing that Moon-Saturn conjunction often appear to be very thoughtful, mature and kind because they’re very calm and observant of others but you very quickly notice that they actually seem to be completely and genuinely apathetic towards others’ emotions fr. They are aware of people's feelings and can actually understand them fairly well but it's like they observe them from an outside perspective like they're studying others rather than getting emotionally involved with them in an empathetic way. This behavior can have its positives but honestly for the most part I've seen that it makes the natives pretty shady and two-faced due to the strategic nature of Saturn. People with this aspect can play double agent exceptionally well

The most short-tempered mars sign as per my observation is Taurus Mars hands down. They're moody and unpredictable af.

Gemini Mars people have this oddly calm and aloof energy to them where they look like they’re only two sentences away from sending you to the therapist if you upset them in the slightest (they scare me)

I’ve noticed it’s actually Aries and Aquarius placements who love the enemies to lovers trope. Aries is the type to enjoy playful bullying or little dramatic arguments while Aquarius is more about the cat and mouse dynamic, flirting while acting uninterested and things like that. I've noticed they both love this vibe of almost daring the other person and feeling intrigued.

Speaking of, Aries Venus people confuse the shit out of me cause you gotta be a lil bit of an ice queen in order for them to like you😭 And they themselves act in ways that you'd think they hate you and wanna piss you off or create tension but they're just teasing, they wanna see what you're made of. That's why I said they "lack charisma" not because they don't have any but cause they have a very specific charm that can very often rub a lot of people the wrong way (cause it goes against venus' universally plesant nature), same with the other debilitated Venus positions

Gemini moons 🤝 being emotionally unavailable.

Gemini placements 🤝​ being forgetful AS FUCK. Not so much if they also have taurus placements tho

Something I've seen in a loooooot in the synastry of those married couples where the man is head over heels obsessed with his wife is the man's Lilith conjunct the woman's inner placements or angles SPECIALLY her ASC or Venus. She is his weakness and it's that kind of relationships where he can't take his eyes (and hands) off of her and he is fiercely determined to make her his

Something else I've seen in the synastry of married couples is the man's mars falling on the woman's 4th house. He wants to protect her and start a family with her

Aquarius ASC in the composite chart gives off HUGE situationship vibes frrr. I've noticed that couples who have this tend to fully act like they're in a relationship but if you ask them if they're dating they'll tell you they aren't cause they never made anything official. This is the type of connection where they've been together for years but it is uncertain where there relationship is going long-term, nothing's ever officialized or set in stone (Cap 12th house) kinda like "yeah idk one day we'll get married I guess who knows"

astrobydalia

[ladsheadcanoncorner]

random turn ons ♡ - lads headcanons

prompt: just some things i think would get the boys in the mood that aren't inherently naughty ;) rating: n-fw, 18+, minors dni cw: slight smut, implied fem!reader, some physical descriptions given (mostly vague, but please feel free to imagine mc however you like, regardless of what i've written!) ✉︎♡: ask box open, tumblr users + anons

Xavier: -Lounge wear! -Because it means he can probably convince you to take a nap with him, but also because no one else has the privilege of seeing you wearing that -He likes literally every type of lounge wear, but he is partial to tight fitting shorts and lace camisoles -His hands will wander while you’re watching TV, fingers brushing against the skin on your stomach and your thighs -You: “What are you doing, Xav?” Xavier: “Hmm? Oh, nothing. Just think you feel so soft.��� -He’ll make sure to plant plenty of kisses on every inch of skin he can reach, hiking up your shirt to kiss there, too -Also unabashedly into watching you eat anything that could be taken sexually -Ice cream? Forget about it. Popsicles? He’s gonna cream his jeans -He just really loves watching your lips close around certain things -“Maybe you can show me how you do that later?”

Zayne: -Sundresses -There’s just something about the way the summer air billows through the fabric, framing your body, each particularly strong gust showing him the tiniest peak of your ass -If the straps fall off of your shoulder, so help him now he might just have to make a quick detour with you somewhere private -Also loves when you try on his glasses, even though he’s far too pragmatic to admit it -You: “Do I look smart enough, Dr. Zayne?” Zayne, trying to hide the blush blooming on his cheeks: “Smart? Yes, of course. Let’s go with that.” -Will fully make out with you when you’re wearing his glasses, pulling you onto his lap in his office to help him relieve some of the pressure building up from seeing you in them -When you realize this, you make sure to steal them more often, feigning innocent the entire time so that he doesn’t catch on to your schemes

Rafayel: -You know those cliche videos of women getting out of the pool in slow motion? Yeah, that’s what Raf sees every time you go swimming or get out of the shower -Your wet hair slicked back, water droplets clinging to you skin, the glow of the light reflecting shimmery sunshine -Eyes would do that cartoony ‘awooga’ if they could -Pulling you against him, he says, “You got me all wet, guess we’ll have to take off these clothes, huh?” -Also super into your hands -As an artist, he appreciates the nuances of the human body, and you are his forever his muse -He’ll play with your fingers, turning your palm over in his hand, kissing each individual digit -Usually leads to your hands moving to touch him elsewhere, his dramatic ass claiming all breathy that he’s being touched by the hands of a goddess

Sylus: -Putting your hair up The first time you do this is during a sparring session with him in his boxing ring -You: “Hold up, my hair is in the way.” Sylus: “You’re giving your opponent too much time to plan their next move, kitten.” -You bend over to secure the hair tie in place, and when you flip your head back up Sylus.exe has stopped functioning -He rips the velcro on his boxing glove free with his teeth and corners you in the ring -“Distracting your prey is a good move, too,” he’ll murmur in between kisses -Yeah he’s definitely using that hair tie to pull your hair in bed later -Also loves watching you do your makeup -Will stand in the doorway in the bathroom, one leg crossed over the other to hide how absolutely turned on he is watching the way your mouth slightly hangs open when you put on mascara -You know by now to start getting ready early so you and Sylus have enough time for a quickie before you leave

Caleb: -Cute marks on your face -He absolutely gushes over dimples, birthmarks, freckles, or beauty marks -Likes to poke each place they mark your skin and if you get annoyed with him when he does this, he will only laugh and then kiss each one -The easiest way to get Caleb absolutely feral for you is to wear his tshirts or hoodies -You devise the plan when he is in the shower, taking his favorite shirt and spraying his cologne on it, before pulling it over your naked body -When Caleb enters the room, towel already hanging dangerously low on his hips, he stops in his tracks when he sees you -“My favorite shirt and my favorite girl. Do you want to take it off now or should I ruin both of you tonight?” -Definitely going to take you from behind while you’re wearing it, both of your smells mingling on his skin and driving him crazy

[starlostseungmin]

husband!seungmin

✰ notes: my brain is not working properly and idk if i could write any lengthy fics as of the moment but here’s husband seungmin because i’m bored and i love our puppy so much. not proofread. DO NOT FORGET TO REBLOG, COMMENT AND LEAVE TAGS! thank you <33

（ seungmin ）chan , lee know , jeongin , han , changbin , felix , hyunjin.

ꔛ

Husband Seungmin who cried when he saw you walking down the aisle with a big smile on his face thinking that he’s the luckiest man on earth to marry you. He couldn’t wait for the priest to finally announce you as husband and wife then kisses you in front of your friends and family. 

Husband Seungmin whose love language is act of service and words of affirmation with a little bit of gift-giving. 

Husband Seungmin who is still shy about engaging in physical touch. But when he does, he gets really clingy and refuses to let you go. You never complain. He also loves looking at you dreamingly while you sleepーwhispering how much he loves you and kisses your forehead before going to sleep, hugging you tightly. 

Husband Seungmin who cooks every morning before going to workーsometimes at nightーand holds your hand while brewing coffee as he steals kisses whenever you aren’t looking. 

Husband Seungmin who would take the day off from work just to stay home and take care of you when you’re sick. He won’t allow you to move and insist that he’ll do everything you ask for. 

Husband Seungmin who gets a bit possessive when someone who seems interested in you makes a conversation so he’d kiss your lips out of the blue and say, “We’re married.” then show off your wedding rings. 

Husband Seungmin who doesn’t pressure you to have kids with him since he respects whatever decision you make. It doesn’t matter anyway, as long as the two of you are together, that’s enough for him. 

Husband Seungmin who is still feeling nervous when he asks you out on a date. It would always feel like the first timeーhis heart racing, cheeks red as a tomato, the giddiness and sparks, everything goes in slow-motion. He would take you to your favorite places and have the best time. 

Husband Seungmin who loves tea time and is literally serving you hot gossip from workーlaughing at how everyone was so dumb and problematic in the industry. 

Husband Seungmin who used to prefer texts over calls but now he tends to call you often because he misses you. He would also wait for you to hang up first.

Husband Seungmin who would hug you tightly while kissing the crown of your head and whisper words that might comfort you when you’re breaking down and vulnerable in front of him. He would refuse to leave until you feel better. 

Husband Seungmin who makes weird noises and funny faces just to make you laugh. 

Husband Seungmin who acts like a puppy when he wants to be babied and asks for a kiss. 

Husband Seungmin who treats you like royalty. 

Husband Seungmin who gets over the moon when you surprise him with lots of (useful) Sanrio-related gifts. Mostly Pochacco and Pompompurin with a little bit of Cinnamon Roll. 

Husband Seungmin who loves to take A LOT of pictures of you with his phone or camera. You’d complain (playfully) about his storage getting full but he doesn’t mind because you are his muse. 

Husband Seungmin who brings you flowers on random days because they remind him of you. 

Husband Seungmin who kisses your lips intimately because he wants to. It could happen multiple times a day which could lead to something moreーmost of the time. 

Husband Seungmin who would walk away after an argument and come back hours later to apologize. 

Husband Seungmin who doesn’t want you to see him cry but gives in when you hug him. 

Husband Seungmin who gets brutally honest, cries over silly things, and does his little twerk when drunk but still cute as hell. 

Husband Seungmin who always scores 98-100 on coin karaoke and gets cocky. He knows you love listening to him when he sings and gladly does the favor when you ask him to—wherever, whenever. 

Husband Seungmin who is always good at everything. 

Husband Seungmin who doesn’t say “I love you,” most of the time but expresses it in different ways or says it with the things he feels about you. 

Husband Seungmin whose smile is the most precious in the world. You promised not to take it away and never make him cry. 

Husband Seungmin who loves you so much, makes you happy, never fails to make your heart beat, makes you feel loved and accepts you no matter what your flaws are. 

✰ taglist: @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly , @sleepyleeji , @starseungs , @midsoulz , @oddracha , @armystay89

©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.

[uyuforu]

Your Love Story based on your Juno Persona Chart

All pictures were found on Pinterest

Other posts you could like:

જ⁀➴ Juno, Groom, Briede PC Observations I

જ⁀➴ Groom & Briede PC Observations III

જ⁀➴ Groom/ Briede/ Juno aspects in Natal Chart

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Why Juno Persona Chart?

‧₊˚✩彡 The Juno Persona Chart is a Persona Chart based on the asteroid Juno (3). This asteroid represents our destined love, our future spouse.

‧₊˚✩彡 In the Natal Chart, Juno usually represents our destined love and also FS, and how they play in our life. But sometimes, we just want to know more. In this case, our Juno Persona Chart will be calculated based on the position of Juno in our Natal Chart. And so our Juno PC will be our Juno in Natal Chart but in a more detailed Chart.

‧₊˚✩彡 In this case, we can literally know more with our Juno PC. The most famous signification of a Juno PC is to know more about your Future Spouse, mostly considered as our destined love.

The two sides of Juno Persona Chart

‧₊˚✩彡 As I said, Juno PC will usually say about our Future Spouse, but, as it represents our destined love, this can actually also represent the way we are going to be with our Future Spouse.

‧₊˚✩彡 Of course, this post will be based on my personal observations with people around me. But this is still a theory, and something im still studying.

‧₊˚✩彡 But in most of cases, Juno PC actually express the love story between you and your FS as well. It's going to give you hint about where you will meet and what could happen, and how you will come to Union with your FS.

This post is a theory mostly, and observations based. If the theory happens to be verified often, I'll post a more detailed post with signs, houses and degrees.

╰┈➤ Get your own Juno/ Groom/ Briede Persona Chart, from 20€ to 60€ ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ���

‧₊˚✩彡 Sun in the Juno PC could represent your first impression of your Future Spouse.

‧₊˚ Examples ‧₊˚

✩ Sun 1H: You could have love at first sight for your FS. You could find them very handsome/ pretty when you first see them. You could also find them very passionate, extrovert. ✩ Sun 9H: You could find your FS really smart when you first meet. You could look at them as older than you, or as a mentor, or they could be in an upper position for you if you work or in school. They could have a lot to teach you, and you could admire them somehow. They could also be a foreigner, and you could see them this way. ✩ Sun 4H: Sun here could mean you could feel like your FS is familiar, or they could feel like your home. You could eventually live with your FS. You could think your FS reminds you of a sibling or of a parent, you could also feel incredibly safe with your FS. ✩ Sun 10H: In this position, you could think your FS is someone you respect a lot, someone who works hard, you could also see them as a coworker, or someone well known around you. Your FS could also have a position well know or respected in society, for example, they can be married, so everyone knows their marital status. ✩ Sun 5H: You will feel like your FS is very fun, someone you will have so much fun and laugh with, you'll love their presence, you'll feel like it's easy to feel good with them. You could feel like they are quite popular, and flirty, there is something about them that just draws you to them. You feel like life is good with them, and you may want to spend a lot of time with them.

‧₊˚✩彡 Chiron 4H could mean you'll have a lot of troubles or arguments with your family because of your relationship with your FS. Or at least, there will be a problem with your relationship and your family.

‧₊˚✩彡 It's true that your Rising Sign will tell how you will meet them. It can tell the place but also the circumstances. Ruler of your Rising can say more (Sign & House of the ruler).

‧₊˚ Examples ‧₊˚

✩ Sagittarius Rising: You could meet them in college, or when you are in college. You could also meet them in school or when learning something. My Uncle has this placement, he met his FS when both of them were in College. The Ruler of the Rising is Jupiter, and it falls in the 2H in Aquarius. His FS was one of my mother's best friend, and she become close to their family and he met her in his family. The 2H represents family, and Aquarius represents friendship. ✩ Aquarius Rising: You can meet them online, one dating app, on the internet, you can receive a DM from them. You can meet them in foreign lands, in an airport, or with friends, because of friends. ✩ Virgo Rising: You can meet them at work, while working, they can be a coworker, your boss, or someone you meet at work, so could even be a client. You could meet during a random day, or when taking care of your health. ✩ Gemini Rising: You could meet them online, at school, college, when learning something, library, with friends, in a social circle, in your neighborhood, because of your family, because of your siblings, at a concert, etc.

‧₊˚✩彡 The degree on your Rising can also add details on this first meeting.

‧₊˚✩彡 Uranus can represent what will change in your life after meeting your FS.

‧₊˚ Examples ‧₊˚

✩ Uranus 4H: You could see the idea of family different after meeting your FS, or your idea of home could change. You could also have to change your family situation after meeting your FS, or your home situation. ✩ Uranus 5H: You could change your point of view about children after meeting your FS, you could also change your love life's situation after meeting them. You could end a relationship after meeting them, or you could want to be more serious. Or if you aren't dating anyone, you could want to become more romantic. ✩ Uranus 8H: Your idea of intimacy can change after meeting your FS. You could have had the idea that no one could enter in that zone before, and after meeting them, you could def feel like finally you met someone who understands on another level, and you want to make them enter in your secret world. You could finally see love in sex, without thinking of the act itself. You could want to share secrets with them. ✩ Uranus 12H: You could have a spiritual awakening after meeting your FS, or your beliefs could change after meeting them. You could feel like a cycle ended, and you can also feel more lonely after meeting them, feeling like you are very much attached to them already.

‧₊˚✩彡 Saturn could represent the possible obstacle between you and your FS.

‧₊˚ Examples ‧₊˚

✩ Saturn 5H: If you have children already, you could think this would be a complicated situation, or you could have difficulties to conceive when you meet them. You could also not want children, or you could be too childish when you meet them. One of you could already be in a relationship when you meet. ✩ Saturn 2H: Your ethic could go against this relationship, your values, etc. You could also think one person in the connection doesn't have enough money, or money could be a problem. There is a problem of stability here. You could think one of you is also not stable in their life to be together. This could also translates to not being the right moment when you meet. ✩ Saturn 10H: You could have a reputation problem when you meet your FS, you could been seen in a certain way that doesn't go well with your relationship. You could also be too busy with work. You could feel like your relationships is complicated due to your position in society or at work. You could also have a certain reputation around you that can makes things harder for your FS and you.

‧₊˚✩彡 Union in Scorpio/ 8H could mean you'll be in a secret relationship first.

‧₊˚✩彡 Mars 3H means eventually you'll have miscommunication problems.

‧₊˚✩彡 Mars Aries can mean arguments or fights, or you'll feel angry because of this connection (house could say why).

‧₊˚✩彡 Uranus conjunct Neptune could mean some illusions you had about your life before could suddenly change when you'll meet your FS.

‧₊˚✩彡 Angles seem to be quite important about your first meetings. It can represents different point of view. I'm not exactly sure of what is what right now.

╰┈➤ Get your own Future Spouse Indicators on Natal Chart for 25€ ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

‧₊˚✩彡 Jupiter could represent what you will gain from this relationship.

‧₊˚ Examples ‧₊˚

✩ Jupiter 2H: You could gain a lot of stability from your relationship with your FS, you could gain money too, success, you could feel prettier or more good looking when being with them. You could gain status, possessions, wealth. This can be a sign of a long term relationship here. ✩ Jupiter 6H: You could gain stability, you could care more about your health, mental health as well. You can feel safe with your FS, you can also be more serious in general in your life. You could become more busy, but you could just be more responsible. This can be a sign of a long term relationship as well.

‧₊˚✩彡 Venus or Juno conjunct North Node there could mean meeting your FS will both help you fulfill your purpose, and this could be destiny.

‧₊˚✩彡 8H Venus could mean you'll have a secret crush, or you'll be secretly in love, trying to hide your feelings to this person.

‧₊˚✩彡 9H/ 12H stelliums can mean most of your story can happen in foreign lands.

‧₊˚✩彡 4H/ 6H stelliums can mean you'll feel the most comfortable with this person, you'll never want to leave their side.

‧₊˚✩彡 Groom/ Briede in this chart can tell us what each person of the couples do when you meet each other.

For example, I have Briede 12H in this chart, and I traveled when I met my FS. My Briede conjunct my Uranus and we met online first. My Groom is in my 7H, and ruler of the 7H is in 9H, my FS traveled as well in the same place to attend a wedding.

‧₊˚✩彡 Sun can also give us more hints about how you meet, sign and house of course.

‧₊˚✩彡 Juno on the contrary can tell us how you begin your romantic relationship.

‧₊˚✩彡 Juno conjunct Pluto can mean you'll take a long time, or longer than what you thought, to enter in a relationship.

‧₊˚✩彡 Juno conjunct/ sextile/ trine Jupiter can mean you'll recognize your FS as your future spouse when you'll meet. You'll sense or just totally know you'll marry them even on the 1st meeting.

‧₊˚✩彡 Venus could say what are your feelings towards your FS when you meet them, or what you like about them when you meet.

Thank you for reading!

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[tritoch]

I wish people were willing to have a slightly broader or more expansive understanding of FFXIV's women because I think there's so much there in terms of easily-unearthed subtext that no one really thinks about! And I don't mean this in a "people need to re-evaluate their response to the women of Stormblood" way (though I do think that's largely true), I mean I think fandom's understanding even of the women it mostly likes is pretty weak. And you can say that's because the women are underwritten, and I won't argue that they couldn't use more attention from the writing, but that doesn't prevent you from analyzing them the way you can any character in fiction.

Like everyone's always like, oh, Y'shtola and Krile are like your snarky wine aunts, haha. But...Sharlayan is a pretty ossified and patriarchal society from what we see of it in Endwalker and places like the AST quests. Can we open ourselves to the possibility that it means something that almost every young Sharlayan woman we meet, almost all young women in academia, tends to be a little sharp and quick on the retort? The arch and snarky ways in which those two carry themselves reflect in some sense the facts that Krile is almost literally a nepo baby woman in STEM who is barely older than her students, while Y'shtola learned her behaviors from her much older female mentor, a woman who hated Sharlayan academic culture so much she literally abandoned it to go live in a cave.

Or like, Alisaie! Fan jokes and meta frequently buy into her tendency to characterize the dynamic between her and Alphinaud as a jock/nerd, street savvy extrovert vs book smart introvert thing. Except, tragically, Alphinaud's highest stat is 100% Charisma and he absolutely pulled in his student days. All his greatest achievements are diplomatic, and he very easily develops strong friendships with people in every culture you learn about. Alisaie is the determined, sensitive genius who revolutionizes Eorzea by proving the tempered can be healed. She's just permanently carrying a chip on her shoulder that while she and her brother are remembered as the youngest students in Studium history, actually he got in six months before her, a fact pretty much no one else ever brings up once. She's constantly fuming over the fact that he was marginally better than her in certain specific ways in high school, and looking to differentiate them in ways that actually fail to credit her own obvious strengths and accomplishments. I think that's so fun! It's so juicy, and it's equally good for comedy or serious character studies.

Venat is a genuinely benevolent hero who has no compunction sacrificing lives for the greater good. Minfilia is kind and compassionate and clearly on some level actually buys into the narrative of her own unique moral authority. Ysayle is a revolutionary firebrand with almost no concern for the common man, whose death reflects her Javert-like inability to reconcile her own romantic belief in justice with the tragic ways her blinkered worldview (born largely of trauma) let her be easily co-opted by a violent system. But even people who like these characters rarely move past surface-level reads (people who think Venat is just an all-loving mommy figure make me want to fucking die). The fandom is allergic to drawing connections the game doesn't draw, and fails to recognize that FFXIV is a game where characters voice understandings of themselves and others that are wrong about as often as they're right.

You can already see the ways that women like Wuk Lamat and Cahciua and Sphene are getting flattened or losing their shading in fan reception and it's boring. Like I'm not even saying this because you should take female characters more seriously or something (though you should), I'm literally just bored to tears sometimes and if you guys turn Wuk Lamat into another Hot Dumb Jock Lady, I will combust.

[medicinemane]

Anyway, hope you're all doing well

I just... I haven't slept and also I've got like... 2-4 days of tumblr to catch up on... mostly to make sure I don't lose anything I want to keep requeuing

In many ways I'm probably doing better than I have been in a long time... maybe ever, but... I've got zero focus, I can barely watch youtube videos, I certainly can't play games... I can't get myself to clean... I don't know man

It's like... it's like my mind's empty except for some thick clear goopy sludge... it's like being over at a strange house sat alone in a big room waiting for people to come back... not wanting to touch anything so you just sit there staring and feeling out of sorts, except it's just constant in my own house in my own room... just saw Bart flop down in front of my door and realized I'm so out of it I forgot I had cats

It's like I'm living every moment in the moment, but not in a peaceful way, in a I'm untethered from reality and trying to figure out plans or how to deal with getting everything sorted out is just kinda painful kinda way

Then my mood... well... I kinda have no mood. I'm fucking numb if I'm honest. I have flavor opinions like "I'm worthless and should kill myself", but I actually don't even feel depressed right now, I feel nothing

I don't see much point to my future even if everything goes great, and I would like to kill myself, but I have zero interest in even considering it right now even though I have everything I need around if I just stand up and take a single step

So... much as it probably sounds like I'm just pure in the trash right now, I'm actually in many ways probably doing better than I ever have before... I'm just also real messed up right now at the same time

I don't feel hopeful, I never feel hopeful, but I do feel like I can maybe guide shit into a good position, it's just once again I figure that even if I do everything I want to with being able to help other people out and stuff, I'll still just kinda end up alone in a crowd

You know... funny thing is I'm thinking "the fuck is even the point I wanted to make?", and I realize... my point was actually that I'm doing pretty good and not to worry... not sure how well I'm selling it, but it's true

I hesitate to assign anything to myself, my stance on me and anything I can't conclusively say tends to be no comment... but if I were looking at someone else describing what I'm feeling in my position, I might be inclined to say burnout... months of having to be on and clean and manage everything and... all that... well it's one explanation, who knows if it's correct

Anyway though, I'm good, don't worry, know I do appreciate you all and wish I had more brain power to say more to more people... it's just maybe kinda sad that this is my version of doing good... the fuck is wrong with me if I wake up everyday feeling like I've been beaten with clubs... and for me this is kinda peak... what's that say about my baseline?

Doesn't matter, only thing to do is keep moving forward

Guess insomnia paired with not really being able to think, like words just kinda pop out with no planning... guess it makes me ramble real bad, this was supposed to be like one or two paragraphs being positive

It's a Beautiful World

[omelaslost]

Prey Sigil

•───────•°•❀•°•❀•°•❀•°•───────•

Prompt: Their s/o’s family sigil is something that is prey to theirs. Characters: Robb Stark, Theon Greyjoy, Cersei Lannister, Jaime Lannister, Tyrion Lannister “You Westerosi are all the same. You sew some beast upon a scrap of silk, and suddenly you are all lions or dragons or eagles.” – Illyrio Mopatis, A Dance with Dragons, Tyrion I

•───────•°•❀•°•❀•°•❀•°•───────•

Robb Stark

Sigil: Rabbit / Hare ✿ Robb would likely find it somewhat amusing. He definitely sees the humor in the direwolf joining with the hare and would occasionally joke about it with you. ✿ He would probably give you a pet name like “my little rabbit” or something along those lines. Though, he would only call you that in private once you are more familiar with one other. He might affectionately refer to you as his rabbit to those he is close to after a while. ✿ The tone of his pet name for you would depend on your personality, but the fondness (and teasing) in it would be the same. ✿ Robb is a protective person, and he would be protective of you regardless, but especially if you’re more meek and less likely to stand up for yourself. Rabbits are often seen as symbols of innocence and vulnerability, so he would find that your house’s sigil is fitting. ✿ Now, if you’re more confident and assertive, he would be much more teasing in calling you a rabbit. He would likely add that you were his “fierce little rabbit” and say that there was a wolf in you yet. ✿ He would commission small wood carvings of a direwolf and a rabbit that you keep on your bedside table as a wedding or anniversary gift. They are not to be separated. ✿ If the two of you were to discuss having children (he does need his heir), he would refer to them as “wobbits”. ✿ On that topic, another thing that rabbits are well-known for is how quickly they reproduce (eg “fucking like rabbits”), and so he would probably joke and tease you about that in the privacy of your bedchamber. ✿ You kinda need to be a rabbit to keep up with his ass honestly. ✿ He is very eager to have “a full brood of wobbits hopping around”

Theon Greyjoy

Sigil: A ship with ten fish (Krakens are difficult okay)

✿ Bro’s got jokes (and they aren’t funny) ✿ He’s just a really handsy person in general. He likes to have his hands on you whenever he can. If he can pull you onto his lap and wrap his arms around you waist, he will. It is not a matter of if: it is absolutely a matter of when. ✿ Literally, his favorite thing is to catch your waist when you’re walking by and just pull you down onto him when you’re least expecting it. Just like a Kracken would pull a ship down into the sea. ✿ He just likes to be wrapped around you (he says he thinks he prefers it when you’re wrapped around him, but this isn’t about that). ✿ Except it is about that because most of the jokes he makes will be sexual. ✿ Before he goes down on you, he would jest about a Kraken eating (out) a ship. When he finds how wet you are, he would say that you were flooding/swamping and that it was time for him to sink (into) you. ✿ If you don’t find him funny, he might stop (maybe), but he finds himself funny and that’s all that matters. (He isn't funny). ✿ Very specific, but if you can’t swim, he would never let you hear the end of it. He would offer to teach you (since a boat should know how to float), and while a genuine effort would be made, he would also play around with you in the water, pulling you down into the water. Probably ends up almost drowning you once or twice (accidental baptism, what is dead may never die 🙏). ✿ He actually would likely enjoy being wet with you though, whether you can swim or not. Whether it’s in the hot springs in the godswood of Winterfell or just in a tub during a bath, he’d like how you look with water dripping down your body. He’d joke that you’re both in your natural habitat… mostly. ✿ Gods have mercy if he ever gets you with child because now the ship is manned and he would not shut up about it. The Kraken added life to the ship instead of taking from it.

Cersei Lannister

Sigil: Antelope

✿ She would feel slightly annoyed that an antelope is similar to a stag, but she would eventually learn to ignore it (until you do something that annoys her, then she remembers again and makes it your problem, but you shouldn’t have annoyed her, so it’s actually still your fault).

✿ But you’re not a stag, she would remind herself. An antelope is not a stag; they are prettier than a stag and more graceful. You’re not Robert. You’re not a King; you’re beneath her in every way, and she finds comfort in that.

✿ As you can guess, your relationship likely would not be the healthiest.

✿ Cersei would like to brand you as hers in some way, but she knows that she would have to do it discreetly, so she would use your own coat of arms to do it. You can expect certain gifts from her, as rewards for your services.

✿ Accessories for your hair, shaped similarly to antelope horns, rings with grooves similar to that of an antelope, and she would sneak some reds and golds into them, along with the colors of your own house.

✿ Another way she would “brand” you would be by biting you. As much as she would like to leave it somewhere visible, she is more sensible than that. Your thighs are free game though. You’d be able to tell if she’s upset with you (or in general) by whether she draws blood or not. She would tend to take certain emotions out on you. If you whimper, she would remind you that this is what you’re here for. You’re an antelope, and she is the lion.

✿ She’s also clawing the absolute hell out of the back of your neck while you’re eating her out, but it’s okay because you’ll just wear your hair in a way that hides it.

Jaime Lannister

Sigil: Striped Horse (Zebra) [Note: I don’t think Zebras are ever name-dropped in ASOIAF. Zorses are, but not Zebras. But Zorses come from Zebras and I like Zebras so we’re using Zebras ok? cool.] ✿ You will never get a chance to ask him to do anything without him saying that the striped horse should not give be giving orders to the lion (but he will still do what you asked… if he feels like it and begrudgingly. But if he thinks it would be funnier to ignore your request, you’re on your own).

✿ Big “I know the striped horse is not talking rn” energy whenever you say anything ever. Unfortunately, bullying is one of his love languages.

✿ He would be similar to Cersei in the aspect that he would want you to have some piece of him that connects you to him, thus in a way branding you, but he would also want to have a piece of you that connects him to you.

✿ He is more likely to give you something with a lion on it straight up but perhaps in your colors. He might subtly take on your colors as well with something small with plausible deniability. For example, he carried a white ribbon on him (he is a knight of the Kingsguard, so it would not be questioned) and you carry a black one on you. If he were feeling more daring, he might take the black ribbon while you keep the white. He keeps it for good luck but would openly deny doing such a thing if you mentioned it.

✿ He is a yearner (something else he denies). If he is away from you for a certain amount of time, he will begin to find ways to see you in everything. He sees horses and that makes him think of striped horses and then that makes him think of you because that’s your house’s sigil. He sees a black and white cat, and you know what else is black and white? A striped horse :(

✿ Would literally bite your ass while undressing you, but it would be more of a nip than an actual bite. If your eyes widened and you looked down at him in shock, he would just smirk and say, “What? I’m a lion.”

✿ He would enjoy pinning you down in bed and playfully taunting you while nipping at your skin. He’d like it if you ‘fought back’ just so he can pin you down again.

Tyrion Lannister

Sigil: Warthog ✿ He would find a bit of irony in the idea of him being a lion and your somehow being a warthog and he would probably make self-deprecating jokes about it, likely that he thinks it should be reversed. He thinks that you are strong and beautiful like a lion, whereas he would put his appearance something closer to a warthog. But Tyrion does hold some complicated pride in being a lion, and he would be happy to make you one as well. ✿ He would probably do something similar to Robb, having something commissioned to honor both of your houses, but it would likely be on a grander scale (might as well put that Lannister gold to good use). Instead of wood carvings, it would likely be marble figures with rubies for the lion’s eyes and a stone of your house’s colors for your warthog. He would be very happy if you liked them. ✿ At some point in the relationship, he would jest that you’re certainly the prettiest pig that he has ever seen, that is for sure… and then immediately backpedal, saying perhaps he should not liken you to a pig. If you found humor in it, he would be relieved. ✿ Tyrion would have fun with it. He’s a very knowledgeable person, so he likely has some fun facts about warthogs stored up there to bring out whenever you do something he can compare it to. You’re somewhere you’re not supposed to be? Hogging (ha) the blankets? Well, warthogs are notorious trespassers and thieves (they steal other animals’ burrows) and you are truly a testament to that. ✿ He will have most definitely make the comment that he has no desire to strip the skin from your bones, but he does wish to strip you of something before reaching for your clothing. ✿ Cersei would be quite fond of your coat of arms, even more so once it is joined with the lion. A warthog is not a boar, but they are close enough in appearance as far as she is concerned. She would commission you clothes just to see a lion and a “boar” close together whenever she sees you, and she would pass it off as a good-sisterly gift. Tyrion suspects that his sister finds glee in the prospect because of how King Robert died (he is correct).

[actiniumwrites]

the perfect pair [part two]

synopsis: their reaction to finding out you have a tcg card of them

characters: scaramouche, alhaitham, arlecchino, childe, and kinich x gn!reader (separately)

warnings: mostly fluff with like a pinch of angst in alhaitham’s. i also didn’t proofread these :(

notes: part one got so much love and so many of you asked me to make a part two with more characters so here you guys go <3

part one

Scaramouche:

Scaramouche sees it one day while you’re both cleaning up your shared house and you accidentally knocked over your deck, scattering the cards on the floor

The card you have of him just so happens to end up right next to his foot

He’s only ever heard of TCG in passing from other people or when Cyno was talking about it back in the tournament ages ago, but he never really cared to look into what it was

He’s immensely confused because what the fuck is his face doing on a playing card

You embarrassedly try to explain it to him, but he just glares at it for a second before raising his brows and looking at you

“This is really weird,” he says bluntly and flips it over in his hands while mumbling to himself, “at least they made me look cool.”

You just snatch it back from him and scoff as you put it away in your deck holder, explaining that you were going to show it to him later

“Yeah, whatever, I better be the strongest card in there.”

Alhaitham:

Very unamused

Although he plays with you and the rest of the group, it isn’t very often and he doesn’t care about it as much as the rest of you do

You pull it out from behind your back one day as you’re both walking home from the Akademiya

“Surprise! Look what I got, isn’t it so cool?” you beam at him, shoving the card in his face

He takes the card from your hand, his reaction not changing from his normal face as he does. He inspects it before giving it back to you, “Seriously? You got a card of me?”

It upsets you because you were really happy and it took nearly a month for the guy to make it for you

So the literal second your face falls and you start to get embarrassed, he backtracks completely

“No, it’s fine. I think it’s really cool,” Alhaitham says almost instantly.

And he isn’t lying either. Is it a little cheesy? Yes. However, Alhaitham secretly does like that you have it and care so much about him that you want to have him in your playing deck

So he grabs your hand and holds it tightly in his, knowing he now has another way of subtly bragging to everyone that he’s dating you

Arlecchino:

“I’m afraid I don’t understand,” she’ll say when you pull out the card to show her, “What is this? A children’s game? Did one of the children put you up to this?”

You take the card back from across the table and pout at her, “No, it’s mine. I got it because we’re dating and I wanted to have a card of you.”

Arlecchino never really understood the point of games, no less TCG of all things. So she’s understandably confused when you start talking about it

It takes you rambling about the games rules and all the little details for her to finally believe that it really wasn’t one of the kids trying to pull a prank on her or something

And she finds it endearing in a way, although she doesn’t let you know that

You notice her looking a little lost and slide the card under the table and back into the rest of the deck sitting in your hands, “Sorry, I can get rid of it if you want.”

“No, there’s no need for that. I think it’s..cute.”

Kinich:

In the nicest way possible, he doesn’t really care

You show him immediately when you get it and Mualani and Kachina totally freak out

“No way! Do they have other ones too?” they’re both more excited than he is and ask if there were any of them since they were made after the competition

Don’t get me wrong though, it isn’t that he doesn’t care, but more specifically, he doesn’t really care about the card

He’s more happy to see that you’re excited about it and that makes his heart swell

And if Ajaw tries to say anything about it, well he wouldn’t even get the chance too because Kinich doesn’t want your moment being spoiled

He’s also very secretly a little giddy over the fact that you love him so much you want to have a card of him

Childe:

The biggest tease ever

Like he literally will never let it go once he finds the card left out on your dinner table from when you were playing with a friend the night before

“Oh wow, you have a card of me? That’s so adorable. I hope you’re destroying all your enemies with my card,” he’ll say arrogantly.

Unimpressed, you take the card from his hands while he’s laughing and shove it back in the deck

“No,” you scoff and decide to tease him back, “you normally die first, matter of fact. I’ve actually been meaning to find a replacement card.”

His jaw drops and he looks at you with the biggest pout, “Hey! That’s not very nice. Who would you even replace me with anyway? There’s no way there’s a stronger card out there than me.”

“Believe me, I could definitely find one,” you smirk at him and wait as he begins to nearly throw a fit. When he really starts to believe you, you laugh and hug him tightly, “Ha! you should’ve seen your face! I’m only joking, you know. Your card is my favorite.”

He stares down at you with his blue eyes and presses a kiss to your lips, “Yeah, that’s more like it.”