#i literally made and subtitled all the gifs for this post

[panties-on-boys]

the fact that anytime something scary happens, richie always calls out for eddie :(((( and only eddie :( god help me

how he touches eddie’s arm when he gets cut for the blood oath i’m fucking crying

eddie’s fucking blood circling richie’s ring finger like a wedding band. EDDIE’S BLOOD CIRCLING RICHIE’S RING FINGER LIKE A WEDDING BAND!!!!!!!

he’s still in there we can still help him eddie!!! EDDIE!!!

[ineffable-suffering]

Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator

Part 3: The Story of the Magic Show in 1941

Let me at first put a small index for you here, since this is a three part meta and you might want to read the posts that precede this one:

Part 1: The Story of Job

Part 2: The Story of wee Morag

... and now: Welcome to the final Part 3! We made it! Or well, we will have, soon-ish. Because let me give you a fair warning: This one is definitely the longest one out of the three. And by long I mean literally almost 5k words long. Mainly because there's a lot to work with since the 1941 minisode is less mini and more the entirety of S2E4 and also, in my opinion, needs a lot more context than the others. But! That shan't discourage me, as I am currently stuck in bed with a bit of a sore throat, a steaming cuppa tea and an entire afternoon to spare.

So, for the third and final time in this meta series: Let's get cracking! Under! The! Cut!

I shall spare you another summary of the points I have made so far and, should you not have read or remembered them, I kindly redirect you to the end of Part 1 and the beginning & end of Part 2, where I summarize most of it. Don't worry, the link to this post will be in both of them, so you can hop right back once you're done!

On commence with some needed context.

I think one of the most important things to point out at the very beginning here, is that unlike with the other minisodes, we don't have a direct indicator that this is once again one of Aziraphale's memories or diary entries. In the Story of Job, we see him read the part in the Bible and actively immersing himself into the flashbacks (so deeply, even, that Crowley leaves in between, since Aziraphale seems to be so intensely lost in thought). And the Story of wee Morag is being narrated to us by past Aziraphale's diary entry.

All we see before the start of this episode's minisode, however, is Aziraphale driving the Bentley before Shax unconsensually hitchhikes with him and then leaves again. The title squence rolls and we're in London, 1941. And once the minisode ends, it's also not with Aziraphale looking like he just remembered something or a shot of his diary, but instead with present day Shax going to Beelzebub to request permission for the attack on the bookshop and then Aziraphale arriving in Soho, back from his trip to Edinburgh.

It's safe to say, therefore, that these two somehow indicate why and when the 1941 flashback starts and ends the way it does. And they do! You just have to listen and look closely, because the hint of whose memory this is, is a bit more subtle. Let's take it bit by bit.

Shax reveals herself to Aziraphale, catching him off guard. ("You have the advantage on me." "I do, yes.") She then go on to introduce herself as "former admissions demon" and ...

"Now, a Hell's ambassador planner, potentially plenipotentiary* to this corner of the planet. Replacing the demon Crowley."

*(Thank you for pointing this subtitle error out in the comments, @odonataanisoptera!)

At first sight, this might seem like no new information. We already know this, we have seen Crowley and Shax talk multiple times, we know Shax is Crowley's hellish successor and we know Shax now lives in Crowley's flat in Mayfair and, due to that unfortunate circumstance, Crowley in his car. You know who doesn't know this yet?

That's right: Aziraphale!

Neil himself confirmed that the reason why Aziraphale hasn't yet asked Crowley to move into the bookshop is because he doesn't know Crowley is living in his car! Which also indirectly implies that he hasn't told Aziraphale yet that he's no longer Hell's representative on Earth! Massive communication issues aside, this means that four years after Armagedidn't, Aziraphale is realizing for the very first time that Crowley is no longer officially employed by Hell.

Which is quite big news! We don't really know what Aziraphale's exact state of employment is with Heaven, but we do know from Crowley saying so (to Shax, again) in S2E1, that they no longer talk to him and he no longer reports back to them about his work. We can therefore deduct that he isn't actively operating as Heaven's ambassador on Earth anymore – on Heaven's own volition.

After they pulled off their body swap stunt post Armagedidn't, Crowley and Aziraphale of course secured themselves some temporary freedom from both Heaven and Hell. But it was only ever that, right? Temporary. Crowley says so himself at the end of Season 1: "They'll leave us alone ... for a bit." Sure, they were both sort of free to do whatever they wanted, but up until this very moment in the Bentley with Shax, Aziraphale thought he was the only one out of the two of them who had not only been let off the leash a little but also, so to speak, let go from his former employment. Which really explains his genuine, surprised look once Shax lets him know she's officially Crowley's replacement.

Their body swap trick gave them some breathing space, yes, but that's still entirely different than actually officially being let go from your job obligations and duties. What Aziraphale doesn't know either, however, (because again, Mr. Anthony J. Can't-Communicate-Crowley hasn't let him known), is that despite having been replaced and technically absolved of his hellish duties, Hell still very much relies on and demands things of Crowley. And also that Crowley himself hasn't been able to drop his weariness and worries since he still seems to seek out any and every information he can get on what's going on in the Up and Down. David Tennant said in an interview about Season 2:

"[...] interestingly, when we first meet Crowley, he's on a park bench catching up with the person who's taken his job. He obviously can't quite let go. He still wants the updates, and he still wants to know what's going on."

There's just so awfully much Crowley isn't telling Aziraphale – but that's stuff for another meta.

Either way, it eeks me a bit that we don't certainly know how much and what exactly Crowley has told Arziraphale about Shax – but it clearly can't have been all to much, since the Bentley conversation is their first encounter and Aziraphale doesn't even seem to know what Shax looks like, let alone that she's Crowley's new replacement. Crowley must have mentioned her to Aziraphale at one point or another pre-S2, because he does name-drop her when Aziraphale is about to reveal the appearance of Jimbriel ("You'll never guess who Shax was asking me about").

But it's one thing for Aziraphale to know or deduce that Hell might still occasionally send someone (like Shax) to check in on Crowley and another thing for him to not know that Beelzebub still summons Crowley whenever they feel like it, trying to coerce/blackmail him and that Shax regularly follows, even threats Crowley and lives in his goddamn apartment because she now fully replaces Crowley in his former job.

So, to sum this up: Aziraphale just received quite a bit of news Crowley withheld from him until now, but is also still lacking some other context that neither Crowley nor Shax has given him yet in order to be aware of the full picture.

Now, you're probably wondering: What the f*ck are you on about, OP, what does this have to do with the memory and narration analysis that this whole meta is supposed to be about? Well, dear reader, I'll kindly ask you to just hold onto that thought I outlined here until a little later. Tuck it in your pocket, don't worry, I'll remind you to take it out again once it's time.

Despite looking clearly incredibly surprised and, what is is again– ah, yes, flabbergasted upon hearing of Crowley's replacement, Aziraphale only reacts with a short "Ah", trying not to give away the fact that this is indeed very much news to him. He then continues to try and deflect anything Shax is saying and suggesting about Crowley. Except for the part where Shax says that she doesn't think Aziraphale seems like Crowley's type at all. And I cannot, for the absolute life of me, keep that GIF out of here, so:

God, how I adore you, Mr. Sheen, master of immaculate microexpressions.

Alright, let's move on from the brief flash of sassy angel, onto what Shax says next. Because this is the crucial part:

"You know ... what, sometime in the last 80, 90 years I remember hearing that you and Crowley were an item. I didn't believe it then. Not really. Poor old Furfur. He thought you were his ticket to the big time."

Which Aziraphale replies to:

"I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about."

But you do, Aziraphale, don't you? Of course you do. How could he forget the time he almost got Crowley caught together with him by Hell ("Fraternising!") in what was probably one of their most insane and turbulent adventures (that we know of, at least). And now he knows that Shax knows about it too! At least some of it, because she used to work together with Furfur and was the one who pushed him to do his investigation in the first place.

We end their little Bentley encounter with Shax getting out, cryptically saying "You've already told me where Gabriel is" and Aziraphale hurriedly speeding off back to London.

I'd like to briefly point out that according to Google Maps, Edinburgh is almost an 8-hour drive away from London. Of course we don't know where exactly Shax semi-grand-theft-auto'ed into the Bentley, but it's safe to say that since it's still dark when she does and Aziraphale arrives in London when it's light out and morning already, he must have at least been driving for another couple of hours. All by himself, with nothing to think of other than a) Crowley never having told him that he's been relieved of Hell's duties and –– you guessed it –– b) what happened in 1941.

And here's where it gets interesting: It's not just Aziraphale who's remembering 1941. It's Shax, too. It hit me like a ton of bricks, once I realized. Shax is the one who brings up 1941 and Furfur's mission to get his promotion. So everything we see that happens in Hell, with the Nazi spies being processed, are Shax's memories. Obviously Aziraphale couldn't have known or remembered any of that. But Shax could! And she does. Because this entire minisode is their shared memory of it, stitched together with the parts both of them actually witnessed.

And alas, here you have it: The reason why it makes so much sense that this minisode is so much longer than the last ones and also happens right after Aziraphale's encounter with Shax. They both were just very much reminded of what went down all those years ago. And they're both thinking back on it to come to some sort of conclusion. And funnily enough, it ends up being the same one – but I'll get into that in a bit too.

Aziraphale's got time to kill in the Bentley. A few good and long hours alone, with the knowledge of Crowley's and his own sort-of-newly-found freedom at the back of his mind. (Crowley! No longer bound to Hell! Himself! No longer bound to Heaven! Blimey!)

What else would Aziraphale think of, if not the time he realized, after the demon had saved his precious books, he was utterly and irrevocably in love with Crowley. And what else could Shax think of on her way back to London, if not the time Hell almost got proof of Crowley and Aziraphale being "an item", putting one of her colleagues onto investigating it and only now, decades later, coming to realize that it was true after all – giving her the confirmation that there was only one place Crowley would hide Gabriel while Aziraphale was gone: the Bookshop. Aziraphale's bookshop. Because if there's any demon that would have unrestricted access to it, it would be Crowley – as Shax has just now realized.

Let's just say it's no wonder that this minisode is about to be an explosion (pun intended) of all the things we have seen and realized about how Aziraphale capital-r Remembers things (ft. a bit more behind the scene knowledge, provided by Shax). And yes, it took me this absolutely ridiculous amount of time and words to get to the actual beginning of this minisode. But I'll be as bold as to say that you'll thank me for it because if there's one thing all of this teaches us, it's that context is so very important for memories and decision making.

... let's continue!

Title sequence: Rolled. London, 1941: Begins. Nazis in the church: Bombed. Books: Saved.

(Aziraphale: in Love.)

Right away again, the title card for "London 1941" looks like an old black and white film, similar to the retro hue and colouring of the Job episode in S2E2. We see what we saw already in Season 1, with the bomb dropping and Crowley saving the books. What we didn't know is what Shax's memory will now show us: How the Nazi spies were processed in Hell. And how she offered to help Furfur with being promoted if he could get her some intel on "some demon being up to no good."

I have yet to fully take my time to take a closer look at Shax, but I think she's a lot more competent and smart than Hell gives her credit for (similar to Saraqael in Heaven). How else would she have gotten word of A Certain Suspicious Demon while she was still an admissions demon herself. Or figured out simply by Crowley's Bentley not being at the bookshop in S2E3 that Aziraphale must be the one who'd currently be driving it somewhere. But okay, I really don't want to divert too much from my own plot here, so let's jump right ahead into our next scene: Aziraphale's first memory in this minisode.

I'm just gonna play Captian Obvious for a second here: There's literal sparks flying in the air. Red, firey, passionate sparks. And an angel looking like this:

I'll just let the imagery do the talking.

Now we have that love-birdery out of the way: I was at first going to once again call bullsh*t on the timeline our dear smitten Aziraphale is giving us here. Because I thought: "You're really gonna try and tell me that while there was an actual Blitzkrieg happening just down the block, the girls playing Ladies of Camelot had nothing better to do than to happily perform at the Westend like nothing out of the ordinary had happened?"

But the answer is ... yes. Yes, they literally had nothing better to do – because they were still performing! I chastised our dear angel too soon, because lookie here:

(Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windmill_Theatre)

I indeed didn't know that the Windmill Theater remained open during WW2 –– but it did put a smile on my face that the article specifically mentions it remaining open even during the hight of the Blitzkrieg. Neil, you clever man!

Also, one last nugget of appreciation: Aziraphale most definitely having no clue what sort of performances actually happened at the Windmill Theater (in case you don't know, just check Wikipedia for a sec), exclaiming "Sophocles! Shakespeare!" and Crowley simply going "Something like that" just warms my heart infinitely.

Fondly thinking about Aziraphale asking Mrs. Sandwich: "What exactly is it that your girls do?"

Another thing that seemed strange to me at first, that I think I also managed to semi-debunk, is the fact that Crowley's Bad Deed of that day seems to have been to deliver 80-percent-proof alcohol to the Windmill Theater. It made me frown and go: "Huh? I don't think alcohol was illegal in England in 1941?" However, upon googling around a bit, I think it might actually be not so much about the alcohol itself, but who it was given to. Which, in this case, is the American soldiers frequenting the nude shows at the Windmill Theater. All I could find were some books and essays, one of them titled "The Wet War: American Liquor Control, 1941–1945", as well as this short abstract of a paper that seems to talk about how American soldies consuming alcohol while at war/stationed abroad for WW2 were frowned upon by US Army chaplains because "the impact that alcohol would have on the men's moral well-being".

So, it would make sense for Hell to send a certain alcoholic temptation to one of the dens of temptation itself – the Windmill Theater. Enter Anthony J. Crowley, your local Nazi-church-bomber, book-saver, angel-seducer and alcohol-smuggler. (Albeit that last one sort of failing a little. Sorry, Mrs. H.)

(Sidenote: @createserenity gave a lovely and very plausible explanation of the whole alcohol delivery and also who Crowley's character design might have been based on in the comments of this post!)

Aziraphale then of course jumps in, offering to be the magician of the evening to repay his "good friend" (sideye), waving around his little handkerchief like an excited little boy. ("Ah, the ✨theatér✨!") We also get the first zombie!Nazis content, which I believe is probably a reconstruction of what the zombie!Nazis told Furfur once they met up with him again and what Furfur then probably told Shax once he failed his mission. Brains eaten, we continue to this glorious line:

He's just so very excited and giddy about it all – and I think that's partly because he a) just realized that Crowley loves him (and he very much loves Crowley too) and b) because Bentley!Aziraphale who is remembering this, probably remembers it even more fondly and giddily. We've seen his emotions bubble over a lot more during the other minisode-memories – so it only makes sense that in this one, he's remembering himself to be almost out of his mind with happiness and excitement about Crowley the magic show.

Remember what I asked you to tuck into your pocket?

Take it out again. Go on, there's a love! Because what is it that Aziraphale realized mere moments ago during his conversation with Shax? Crowley is free of Hell.* (*and remember, he doesn't know that that's not entirely true because no one told him the rest of the facts. So yes, we know it's not quite as simple – but Aziraphale doesn't.)

For all of S2, he has been trying to bring his relationship with Crowley to a new, more domestically intimate level (our car!), confidently and potentially even a bit carelessly ignoring the still-very-much-there threats of Heaven and Hell. I think one of the things that might have still been holding him back in his attempts to get to the next base (huehue) was the fact that he thought Crowley was still actively employed by and tied to Hell.

In all of S2, Aziraphale does come across as a little bit blinded by his desire to finally be with-be with Crowley (rose-tined glasses obstructing the view and all) but he's not completely carless. He knows Hell to be way more cruel to their employees and has always been careful to not get Crowley into too much trouble by being associated with him. But now he has (a little falsely) deducted that Crowley is in fact no longer in hellish demand – and isn't that just absolutely tickety-boo! Lacking the context that we, the audience, have, Arziraphale.exe is currently running hot on: Heaven and Hell don't care about Crowley and me anymore! We're free of our employers' interest in us and the threat that used to bring!! I've been trying to lock this serpent down ever since the World didn't end – and now I finally can!!! I'm We're able to do whatever I we like which is to finally confess to Crowley!!!!

From Bentley!Aziraphale's point of view, this is the literal green light on their highway to Alpha Centauri! Metaphorically, anyway. More like their country road to the Southdowns. And, for now, the M1 to London– back, back, back to Crowley!

For a minute, I did wonder about why he doesn't seem at all worried or stressed once he arrives in London after his journey. After all, Shax did very clearly threaten him and insinuated that she already knew where Gabriel was. But if you look at Aziraphale all throughout Season 2, it's so very evident that he's completely occupied with being soppily nostalgic of all the memories he recalls of him and Crowley and, even while facing off with Heaven and Hell again, seems oh too happy to ignore all that because he only has eyes for one thing.

Need I say more?

So, of course, realistically Aziraphale should probably be worried and weary of what Shax said (and maybe also a little taken aback by the fact that Crowley never told him any of this). But oh, isn't the world just that much lovelier when you look at it through shades of yellow and rose? And ignore everything else because if you only look at what you want to look at, both you and the serpent of your dreams are finally free to be together? So, of course! Azirapahle should be so! Very! Concerned! But instead, he is so! Very! Happy!

Both back in actual 1941, after Crowley saves his books, as well as in his memory of the story, aka in the current present day – which we don't get to see until he leaves the Bentley, but then it does show.

And it shows even more while he's still remembering 1941:

Crowley doing an American accent? Oh, that must have been so funny and charming, look at him slapping his thigh, unbuttoning his jacket, leaning back all suavely and watching me– I mean ... the Ladies of Camelot.

There's this excellent meta by @cobragardens I read on the colours of red and yellow in this 1941 minisode as well, which further makes a point of how red is clearly Crowley's colour in Aziraphale's mind – and it's so, so vibrant in this memory specifically. Poor angel has really got it bad for his beloved book-saving demon.

I'd also like to point out Aziraphale's tendency to exaggerate again, both when it comes to others and himself. We see this in the other minisodes as well, and here again, when he seems almost overly-clumsy, dropping those big trick-rings twice, making a tower of cards topple over and then dropping even more things on the counter. This is probably just a bit of a projection how he might have been feeling about performing as a magician: Slightly nervous, trying to overplay it and yet very keen on getting it right.

Crowley seems to always just be watching silently when memory!Aziraphale is acting a little out of character – possibly because there was no actual reaction from him since these slightly overdramatic things weren't actually this dramatic in the first place.

Another thing I would very much take with a grain of angelic memory salt, is one of the Nazi zombies actually walking into the shop while Crowley and Aziraphale are still in there. First of all, that would be pretty bold of him/them, given there's only three people in this tiny shop. And second of all, don't you think it's odd that neither Aziraphale nor Crowley would notice a literal undead person sauntering into the shop? I'll give Aziraphale the benefit of the doubt, since he's currently on cloud nine. But Crowley? How on Earth would he miss that?

Unless the zombie never actually went into the shop, put on silly costumes and rings (because given their track record, in my opinion, goofing around is a very un-Nazi-like thing to do) and it's just what the autopilot of Aziraphale's daydream is playing in the background, to fill in the gap for how the zombie!Nazis figured out where his magic show would take place. Because as we already saw, Aziraphale is a bit, well ... busy in that moment.

This GIF is not sped up, by the way, that is indeed the absolute astronomical speed Aziraphale shook Crowley's hand with when he agreed to pretend to shoot him on a live stage. He's my favourite. Of all time.

Alas, the curtains at the Windmill Theater draw aside, ladies and gentlemen: Enter Fell the Marvellous!

Firstly, I would like to point out that Aziraphale is literally being surrounded by all things Crowley – the red curtain to his back, the red and black feathers to his left and right and, well, literal Crowley in the audience to his front.

Just another little ode to how beautifully this whole minisode is done colour-wise.

If you read Part 2, you might remember me saying that how and what Aziraphale is feeling is actually translating directly to what we, the audience, are shown through cinematographic and auditory clues. And this very same thing happens here too. Its starts around the minute mark of 28:31. Right after Aziraphale realizes that his miracles aren't working and he still announces the bullet catch, introducing Crowley, you can tell that the whole frame starts to shake every so slightly.

At first, it's extremely subtle and you could possibly wave it off as simply being filmed with a hand-held camera. However, the further we progress into the bullet catch trick scene, the more the frame starts shaking.

I have taken the liberty to make a little cutdown of how this intense shaking progresses, so that in case you never noticed it before, I can spare you the time of going back to watch it for yourself.

It might be a trick of the eye but it even seems like the edges of the frame grow blurrier the closer the actual firing of the gun comes. And I don't think I have to tell you what feeling this is trying to convey. Anyone who's ever had a panic attack would probably describe it exactly like that. At least I would.

Everything is shaking because Aziraphale was most certainly out of his mind with fear and adrenaline. He wants to do this, he has to because he needs to show up for Crowley the way Crowley showed up for him at the church – but he's also literally risking being discorporated for good. And once again, we feel his panic, we feel like just like it's our own blood pumping through our veins, just like when we ourselves are shaking with fear. Because this is his memory. And a memory of such a tense and dangerous moment takes a long time to feel less scary.

Once they successfully pull of the trick, the shaking stops, of course. Fell the Marvellous nails his second trick by stealing Furfur's picture, the Nazi!zombies wander off to Satan knows where and we get another one of Shax's memories when we see Furfur not getting his promotion. (Almost makes you feel a little sorry for him, poor bugger.)

I don't have much to say about their romantic red wine candle light boogaloo, apart from the fact that it makes me want to punch holes in walls with how smited smote smitten Aziraphale looks at Crowley the entire time. And also there's this awfully sweet post about Crowley deciding to still sit and drink with him despite not knowing yet that Aziraphale had stolen the evidence picture.

HE IS SO IN LOVE I AM GOING TO SCREAM–

Back to reality, whoa, there goes gravity (as we plummet down to Hell).

Because remember: While most of this was indeed Aziraphale's memory, some of it was Shax's as well. And I'm pretty sure she knows most of what went down that night. After all, Furfur was most definitely the one who caused the rumors of Crowley and Aziraphale being "an item".

So, while Aziraphale was in the Bentley, indulging and revelling in his love-struck memories of the night he almost died* (*discorporated) twice and managed to survive both times because Crowley was there and trusted him, Shax also thought back on all of this since it was the final nail in the coffin that confirmed to her that Gabriel was hiding in the bookshop with Crowley.

So, what's the conclusion that both characters have come to during this very long flashback? It's simple:

Aziraphale loves Crowley. And Crowley loves Aziraphale.

There's only one person Aziraphale would trust with Gabriel – and that is Crowley. And there is only one place that no other demon would have access to except for Crowley. And that is the bookshop. Shax knows this now. Which is why it makes so much sense that once we're back in present day!Hell, she immediately requests a legion to attack the bookshop. Because she knows this is the only place Crowley and Aziraphale both consider safe from the outside world, and the only place Crowley would have access to because Aziraphale loves trusts him. Reflecting back on it, 1941 confirmed to her that they have been and still are the item everyone suspected them to be.

Clever, clever Shax!

As for Aziraphale: It's less of a conclusion, to be honest, and more of a reassurance, an affirmation of sorts. As I pointed out in my horrendously long context introduction, Crowley no longer working for Hell is exactly the push Aziraphale needs to finally feel like it's possible to make his move and confess to him.

And what does that news- and memory-induced realisation look like? This:

Ah yes, what a lovely day to confess your millennia-long love!

Too bad Crowley's not really up to speed yet and Aziraphale's rose-tinted little moment is met with:

... a face-full of plants. Whelp.

It's okay, they'll figure it out eventually.

My final little sidenote: The Jane Austen Ball and why it wasn't about Nina and Maggie

By all means, if you're already sick and tired of my tangents, do feel free to just skip this and end the meta early. I hope you had a good time with it, let me know your thoughts!

And for those of you who are up for a last burst of tinfoil-hatting: My conclusion to all of this is that I am 100% convinced that the whole Whickber-Street-Association-turned-Cotillion-Ball stunt Aziraphale pulls off in the next episode, was never actually meant for Nina and Maggie.

Why? Because up until getting a mouthful of plants once he arrives back in London, Aziraphale hadn't even known yet that Crowley's awning of a new age under the canopy had failed! The last time they spoke was over the phone in Edinburgh which ended with Crowley hanging up on Aziraphale to go make the love mission happen. And yet, Aziraphale clearly already has the whole ball thing planned out once he arrives in Soho, because he already calls it 'a night to remember'.

So, riddle me this: Why would Aziraphale plan this whole over-the-top romantic Jane Austen Ball on his ride back to London to make Nina and Maggie fall in love if he didn't even know yet whether or not Crowley's attempt at it had been successful or not?

It's almost like he meant for it to be his ideal way of a romantic confession for someone else.

'member the pub scene in S2E2?

Aziraphale: "People would gather and do some formal dancing and then realize they had misunderstood each other. And were actually deeply in love!" Crowley: "Now that sounds unlikely."

Resolving a deep misunderstanding like, hm, for instance, your "de facto partner" not telling you he'd been let go by his toxic employers just like you and also your quarrel about you wanting to protect your former-asshole-turned-cottage-core-dad boss from your own former toxic employers? With ✨a ball✨? (And that being, well, really unlikely to work? Oh, deary-dear angel. Oh, Aziraphale. Be still, my beating heart. You're a soldier for trying, I'll give you that.)

Are you goddamn done yet, OP?

Yes. I am. The tinfoil hat defense rests. I'm aware this was less focused on the actual unreliable narration and a bit more on contextualizing memories and feelings with decision making, deductions and actions – but hey, the road to epiphany has many winding paths. Or something.

Once again, here are Part 1 and Part 2 and if you made it this far: Congratulations, you have reached the end! Thanks for baring with me. I hope you enjoyed the journey just as much as Aziraphale did his daydream in the Bentley. And if you and me both feel strong enough for it, I might see you around in a cheeky little Epiloge to this meta series!

(Also: @dancingcrowley asked so nicely for me to tag them once Part 3 came out, so here you go!)

Cheers!

[somecallmejohn]

Random thoughts on Wish

Since I generally make lots of posts about Wish, either because of something I thought or cause of an ask, I thought I’d share some random thoughts that I’ve either shared before or that I don’t feel like they deserve their own posts

It’s the first animated movie in a long time whose Greek dub I really liked just as much as the original one. Maybe it’s that I’m older or whatever, but most modern Greek dubs don’t seem to have the quality they once had where the voices just matched the characters and sometime around 2017 and onward I just stopped watching movies in Greek unless I was at the cinema and they stopped showing the subtitled version. Granted Disney movies were usually the only ones with a decent dub and some really good ones like in Luca, Moana and Coco, but still they weren’t the same as the dubs for older movies like Hercules, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Aladdin and Mulan whose dubs are so good that I can’t watch them in their original dub and with Wish I often switch from one dub to another. I’d also argue that the Greek version of “This is the thanks I get” is better (sorry Chris Pine)

Speaking of songs, I actually really like the songs in the movie(except for “You’re a star”, I don’t like that one). Granted this movie’s soundtrack isn’t one of the best ones like Encanto’s, Frozen 2’s or Hunchback’s (or literally any from the renaissance movies), but I still like it fine. This wish, this wish(reprise), Knowing What I Know Now and At All Costs are songs I like to relisten to even when I’m not watching the movie

I forking hate Valentino, he’s like if they took Olaf from Frozen 2 and multiplied him 10 times and combined them into one character and he makes way too many butt and fart jokes than there need to be in a Disney movie. If I were to ever do my own rewrite I’d delete him completely.

Id like to remind to the people who prolly weren’t paying attention to the movie (you know who you are) that Asha suggested Magnifico to return the wishes he wasn’t going to grant, she never suggested him to grant them all, she just wanted people to have a chance to make their own dreams come true and not live without the most important part of themselves, because again wishes aren’t just some piece of clothing that you can give away and never miss (despite what she said earlier in the movie because she didn’t know how big their importance was and she just lived believing the partial truth Magnifico gave to the world) but they’re literally part of one’s soul and yes they did give the wishes willingly but under the promise that they would be granted but even if there wasn’t any promise Magnifico withholding the most important part of each citizen of Rosas like he’s some hoarder doesn’t make it any more ethical either and him being (implied) traumatized still doesn’t make what he did right, especially the things he did after he for his ego bruised by a 17 year old. Also before any of his defenders reblog to argue, why don’t you tell me first about how Ariel was a selfish brat who should have paid the consequences of the deal she made and that Ursula was the real hero of The Little Mermaid because she was so kind as to give Ariel a chance to be human.

I’m 70% certain that if the movie was about 20-30 minutes longer, it would have been better as one of the issues I personally saw is that things were happening too fast and plot points felt rushed.

The 7 teens should have had more screen time considering how much they were marketed as well.

I’m fine with the fact that Amaya didn’t end up as a villain, I really like her as she is in the movie.

I think Asha and Starboy work better as a Peter Pan and Wendy type of duo rather than a (movie)Howl and Sophie where there’s an implied romance, but ultimately they’re not meant to end up together but still work great as a duo,

I lowkey wonder why Asha and the teens hang out with Gabo, he doesn’t seem like a fun person to be around with his constant pessimism tbh

I genuinely believe that despite its flaws, it’s not a bad movie

I also believe that in like a decade and a bit, that it’s gonna be looked at more fondly like Treasure Planet, Atlantis and Black Cauldron are

Bazeema and Hal’s designs are so pretty it’s a shame they didn’t have more screentime

Those are enough for now, of if I think of more I might do another one.

[curio-queries]

Run BTS: 063 | BTS School Returns part 1

Original Air Date: 12 FEB 2019 Episode Length: 28:13 Total Parts: 3 YouTube English Subtitles: No Title Song: Idol

Synopsis: The guys are divided into teams to play various school-related games with Suga acting as the Teacher/MC. This part includes division of teams, filling out the punishment roulette wheel, class president elections, and the start of the handbell section

Production: I think this is a great production for a Run ep. For this section, good ideas for the games, they're executed well and the set/props/costumes are perfect. The pacing in this section is just a little slow as it's mostly just setup for the rest of the parts

Endearment: Now THIS is the kind of improv that the members excell at. They have enough of their own experience to draw upon and expertly make it entertaining.

Winner/Loser: see final part

Best Cheater: JM. literally told not to vote for himself but he still did.

Member Moments:

RM: Right after the guys describe how kids these days don't know about chalkboards, RM'S iconic moment of attempting to write on it with a marker.

JN: Jin, trying to use his gaming skills as leverage in the election

YG: Teacher Min suffering from the ringing in his ears...i wonder why...

JH: Hobi was so THERE for the dance to the school bell

JM: JM's savage comment that RM must've been class president only by being homeschooled.

V: V accidentally throwing the handstick right at Hobi

JK: JKs little laugh during Hobi's dance

Bonus Content: The bonus bits are so great. more shenanigans and extra moments to some that made it into the episode. and we get to see how that chalk gets broken! lol

CQ Rank: 3.5

(CQ Eval Date: 14 APR 2024)

Check out this post for my Masterlist of all episodes and descriptions of how I'm evaluating these.

Previous Episode: 062

Next Episode: 064

[aemiron-main]

“mother is god in the eyes of a child,”/“i can see your sin as clearly as god can”/“if i only could, i’d make a deal with god,” and why alice creel was the angel in the creel house and why virginia killed her.

I’m still working on my ST-Silent Hill analysis, but there’s a line in the Silent Hill movie (which has VERY BLATANT parallels to ST & Silent Hill is a confirmed inspo for ST) that I want to talk about right now:

“mother is god in the eyes of a child ”

 Long story short, the character who says this line, Dahlia Gillespie,  is extremely Virginia coded. But why is it relevant? Well, for the sake of this post, it’s relevant because it also aligns with something in Carrie (and the mother in Carrie is very Virginia coded too and there’s a TON of confirmed Carrie parallels in ST): 

“Don’t you know by now, Carrie? I can see inside you. I can see your sin as clearly as God can.”

Carrie’s mother talks about how she can see into Carrie’s mind as clearly as god can (which ties into my theories about Virginia being able to reach into Henry’s mind but that’s a whole other post).

So, we’ve got TWO separate pieces of media that inspired ST/that ST references that both have a Virginia-coded mother talking about how mothers = god. Now, let’s look at another reference to god- “Running Up That Hill”. 

If “mother is god” and Virginia is the mother, and “Running Up That Hill,” talks about “making a deal with god,” then the deal would be made with the mother to swap places- but the singer isn’t swapping places with god, the singer is getting god to let them swap places with someone else- someone else like Alice Creel.  Not to mention that Henry refers to the spiders as gods, and Virginia’s reflection (when Henry “holds a mirror” up to her with his powers) is a spider in the bathtub- her reflection is a god.  Henry wanting to swap places with Alice- but not only that. Why would Henry make the deal with Virginia if he supposedly killed Alice? Because he didn’t kill Alice. Because Virginia did. Hence, why he would make the deal with her, hence why she’s the one paralleled to god, because she’s the one making the decisions about who lives and who dies.  Why would Virginia kill Alice, though?  Well, Victor heard the voice of an angel. A voice that brought him out of a trance- and I’ve gotta finish the full analysis, but I suspect that there’s a solid chance that Alice also had powers and was messing with the radio, there’s one shot of her staring intently at it that’s super suspicious AND another scene where she literally flicks her head in time with the radio changing channels (plus some other stuff). Here’s Alice staring weirdly at the radio. 

And the nod is pretty subtle but when you watch the scene with sound, you can tell that it lines up right with when the channel flickers again. 

And so, if Alice was turning on the radio, and thereby bringing Victor out of his trance, that would’ve thwarted Virginia’s plans, hence why she’d have motivation to kill Alice. I think Alice may have even turned on the radio in the dining room because she knew what was going on between Virginia and Henry. This also explains why the “signals overlapping,” subtitle during the dinner scene is overlaid on top of a scene of Alice- the subtitle itself, IMO, refers to Virginia and Henry’s powers as “overlapping signals,” as they fight with eachother- and Alice recognized this, and likely turned on the radio as a pre-emptive salvation attempt- she may have already known that music worked against trances/against Virginia, after all, we do see a piano in the Creel house that Lucas plays while he talks about the idea that the piano might open a “secret passageway”. And in “Alice in Wonderland,” Alice finds a secret doorpassageway into the garden- the garden, which seems to be where Henry was shown killing the rabbit. I think that might be the moment when Alice realized something was up with Virginia, but I need to think on it more. And also, in “Alice in Wonderland,”  there were three secret passages into Wonderland: the tunnel, the well and the hall of doors.

And also, there’s the whole “painting the roses red,” thing in Alice in Wonderland, and the rose imagery in the Creel house- and if we look at the members of the family as roses, they were literally painted red with blood, which sounds like a stretch, but the “painting the roses red,” scene in Alice in Wonderland was a reference to the Wars of the Roses, which, interestingly enough, in addition to confirming the idea that the red is equivalent to blood, was a series of civil wars- civil wars fought between family members. And it gets better with the Wars of the Roses, let’s look at an excerpt from Wikipedia:

“the modern term Wars of the Roses came into common use in the early 19th century following the publication of the 1829 novel Anne of Geierstein by Sir Walter Scott. Scott based the name on a scene in William Shakespeare's play Henry VI”

HENRY. And Henry VI himself was literally INVOLVED in the Wars of the Roses. 

And now, back to in Alice in Wonderland, who ordered to have the roses painted red/ordered the deaths so to speak? The queen. Virginia. She was the one committing the murders. 

Anyway, going back to what happened at the Creel dinner table that night with the radio- Virginia then started scrambling the radio, hence why it goes from music and starts flicking between channels- it doesn’t just go from music to static, it flicks back and forth between channels, almost like a tug-of-war.

And look at this- at first, it’s subtitled as “staticky signals overlapping,” but then as SOON as it goes to Alice it’s subtitled as “singals overlapping”- it’s because a.) she was making the signal clear by trying to turn it back to the music and b.) in a more meta sense, Alice, unlike Victor, is aware of what’s going on- her signal is clear, her understanding is clear. 

And to top it all off, what line do we see in the lyrics of “Running Up That Hill?”

 “come on, angel.” Alice was the angel. With what I’ve said here, “Running Up That Hill,” would be from the POV of Henry towards Alice, wanting to swap places with her- and Henry would know that Alice was the “angel,” the song is directed at Alice, and refers to the person the song is directed to as an “angel,” thereby referring to Alice as the angel. And Henry is one of the few characters whose family has very overt religious imagery in the family itself, not just in the town as a whole, with Victor talking about demons and angels. 

Alice had powers. Virginia had powers. Henry, of course, had powers. Victor, is there something you’d like to share with the class? (he doesn’t have powers dw- at least as far as i know.)

Virginia killed Alice. This is something I’m going to talk about in the full analysis, but it’s worth keeping in mind that in Carrie, Carrie’s mother tries to kill her (and Carrie, in the movie, looks quite a bit like Alice), and after Carrie’s mother stabs her, Carrie ends up pushed to the bottom of the stairs, JUST like where Alice was laying. 

Even Virginia comforting Alice after her nightmare is a Carrie parallel.

And take a look at that painting on the wall when Carrie falls down the stairs. It’s crooked.

And what other paintings are crooked? The ones in the Creel house when the Hawkins gang investigates it. Specifically, the one right near the stairs (above that table on screen right), just like in Carrie.

And to conclude, @laozuspo​​ has made some fantastic posts (part 1 here and part 2 here) about Alice and Henry and “Running Up That Hill,” and Henry wanting to swap with Alice and this sort of stuff but the Silent Hill and Carrie parallels and the radio stuff just all hit me like a brick tonight, esp since those shots of Alice with the radio were making me absolutely insane last night. Anyway. I’m being normal about the Creels as usual. 

[stepswowdsen]

【KagePro】 Additional Memory: 6th Anniversary ❤️🧣

Prelude

Happy 6th Anniversary to Additional Memory, my 2nd fave KagePro song and MV, and the song of my 2nd fave KagePro femme chara: Tateyama Ayano ❤️🧣

My rambles on the song aren't finished yet, but I did ramble about it before. I love this song and its visuals sm~

My thought rambles will be under the cut~

Notion Doc

I decided to copy over my rambles from my Notion doc over to Tumblr.

As always, I'll also include context rambles for the sake of my mutuals who don't know KagePro but would still like to tune into my rambles.

I also wrote a Notion Doc on my thoughts on Outer Science. I actually wrote it first, but the post is so long it has to be split into multiple parts. So I'll post Outer Science related rambles eventually.

Original MV by Jin (ft. Hatsune Miku)

The Original MV has EN subtitle captions using bluepenguin (EJ Translations)'s EN fan-TL.

UTAU Fan-Cover by Minoru (ft. Denatsu Sora)

My favourite fan-cover of Additional Memory~ ❤️

I’m going to show this fan-cover ft. Denatsu Sora, a UTAU made by creator Rhea/Ragey. The fan-cover is mixed and tuned by Minoru.

Sora is my fave UTAU from an EN-speaking fan creator. Her voice and tuning are SO powerful.

The OG by Miku is more fit to the melancholic an somber tone of the song, but I prefer this fan-cover for the voice and tuning quality. It’s SO good. Denatsu Sora has an amazing powerful voice and growls.

Ragey has one of the most powerful UTAUs I’ve ever heard. I’m blown away by how strong the tuning and voice are in Sora's voice???

Minoru did an excellent job mixing and tuning Sora for this song.

Intro

Outer Science is song no. 14 of KagePro that released in August 2013.

2 years later...

Additional Memory is song no. 16, Ayano's song, that released on September 14, 2018.

It's about Ayano's feelings of grief and regret.

It is one of my top fave KagePro songs and MVs, cuz despite the simpler compositions in it, the visuals and video editing are absolutely gorgeous.

Ty to EJ Translations (bluepenguin) for the translation of Additional Memory~

I think Additional Memory might just be my 2nd favourite KagePro MV. I love it sm…

I was originally planning to post my Outer Science doc first, but since it's so long it has to be split into multiple parts, I might as well post this one first.

For my other fandom mutuals, if you don't know much about KagePro and are tuning into my rambles, I recommend watching the MV so that my rambles on the visuals makes more sense.

Additional Memory MV: Thought Rambles ❤️

(Hopefully the GIFs load. There's a GIF limit too)

未来の走馬灯 (Mirai no soumatou) The flashing images of my future

Translation: EJ Translations (bluepenguin)

How the backgrounds in the beginning and in the chorus keeps flashing/transitioning between each other as a reference to the “revolving lantern” (走馬灯, Soumatou) → Referring to the phenomenon of “images flashing before your eyes (before death)”

Soumatou (走馬灯) → The lyric “Flashing images of my future”

The entire MV is very literally flashing images of Ayano’s “future” (death) by having the backgrounds of the school constantly flashing/transitioning between each other

Because, after Ayano’s death, her classmates set up flower vases on all the desks in remembrance of her and to honour her memory

I'm so sure this MV is using something powerful like Ad*be After Effects. Or at least something similar

It’s also possible Blender is being used for the effects with the 3D flowers and desks

In the beginning, Ayano unwillingly watches the memories of her and Shintaro in the red sunset in the Kagerou Daze (this exact scene being a parallel to Losstime Memory).

Ayano reaches out for Shintaro's hand for comfort and Shintaro rejects Ayano's affection (and regrets it after her death)

I love how the camera is panning through the field of flowers (chrysanthemums)

Sidu's MVs are so fucking brilliant

So good, holy fuck...

In the beginning, Ayano's scarf moves much slower.

The way the screen splits in half and the blood splatters... They match the colour of her scarf...

Also in the animation effects where the screen splits in half, I love the action speed lines...

With the blood splatters scene, too, her scarf gets blown in the wind slower.

But during the majority of the chorus, it gets blown around in the wind much faster.

Ayano stands in a field of chrysanthemum flowers, where classroom desks fill up the ceiling above her.

Sidu's sketchy style is so good. For each frame, she sketches different sketchy lines, and putting all these frames together evokes the feeling of movement. But Sidu does it so perfectly, it feels like moving action lines

The chrysanthemums moving up and in and out of view (some getting closer to the camera) really does give a 3D effect

The colour grading and chromatic abberation effects in this MV... Omg...

The classroom desks in the sky are also slowly falling out of place into disarray. The “sky” is breaking apart.

Because of the 3D classroom desks filling up the “ceiling” or “sky” and the 3D chrysanthemums.

...

Ayano wears a red scarf because she was always inspired by the heroes she saw in cartoons and aspires to be a good, protective older sister for her siblings (the original trio, Kido, Seto, and Kano).

In the song, Ayano's Theory of Happiness, there's this lyric:

”Red capes are for heroes”

...

I love the use of minimal colours in this MV, it's mainly in black, white and red cast with dark shadows and gradients.

(Aside from certain background shots like the red sunset with ShinAya, and the blue sky of the rooftop)

Sidu MUST be using something really powerful to make these MVs, like Ad*be After Effects.

Especially since the KagePro MVs are professional animation projects, they're storyboarded and everything.

And this explains Ayano's and the ShinAya ship's HEAVY paper crane symbolism...

The transition to the blue sky dropping down and casting Ayano in muted, somber blue tones is so perfect

Also thinking about how Ayano has her arms the same way a corpse would be during a funeral with the flowers around her…

Parallels

I first watched this MV as a kid at 12 years old.

So I want to put a few things here just for visual comparison.

So, one more thing I thought about was how, years later, Additional Memory decided to parallel the scene from Losstime Memory where Shintaro sees a vision of Ayano falling from the school rooftop upside down.

Losstime Memory

Translation: Sunny Subs

Source: (X)

Additional Memory

Translation: EJ Translations (bluepenguin)

Losstime Memory

"A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile"

Translation: Sunny Subs

Shintaro's vision of Ayano falling from the school rooftops in his dreams (Ayano as the Snake of Retaining Eyes)

Additional Memory

"Ah, falling, reaching understanding The flashing images scattered Beyond the evening glow, my feelings were stained By a song of regret"

Translation: EJ Translations (bluepenguin)

Ayano re-living falling to her death, in her Kagerou Daze

KagePro Wiki

I'll link this for context so that the lyrics and song context can be referred to.

Lyrics

Song Context

Crane Symbolism

Ayano’s character, and the ShinAya ship, are heavy on paper crane symbolism.

Read more about it here:

1000 Paper Cranes Symbolism

"It symbolizes honor, good fortune, loyalty, and longevity. These formidable characteristics give the crane such special meaning and why the Japanese believed that anyone with the patience and commitment to fold 1,000 origami cranes would be given good fortune and granted a wish." (X)

Songs Lyrics: ShinAya Subtext

The ShinAya subtext in Losstime Memory, Toumei (Transparent) Answer, and Additional Memory…

The ShinAya (Ayano → Shintaro) subtext in this song’s lyrics hurts so bad In a good way

1st chorus:

“I made the mistake of holding you, of wishing; flashing images of luxury

Beyond the evening calm, I light a red light to make a note of our love”

“I didn’t want to ‘still be friends’

My feelings surely won’t reach you

I’m sorry, I love you”

Last chorus:

”I didn’t want to end up as just friends

My tears that you don’t see are swallowed up by the sky”

Translation: EJ Translations (bluepenguin)

Ayano's Feelings and ShinAya Subtext

“I always wanted to say ‘Goodbye, I love you’”

Burnt out gifted kid and cynical pessimist who didn't see any meaning in his life cuz he'd always ace everything and felt that even if he disappeared, then someone would replace him

So Ayano always tried to cheer him up. She’d take his ripped up test papers and tape them back to make paper cranes for him, and she would fold papers into paper cranes for him.

This is Ayano's Kagerou Daze (how the Kagerou Daze appears to her). It takes the form of the school in which she spent her happiest and saddest days, and where she died.

I love how all the classroom desks form the "Sky" of her Kagerou Daze

Misc Rambles

Something about the way Ayano will sacrifice herself for the sake of a loved one... In the hopes that it'd stop Saeru's plans so that her family and friends won't be targeted...

And Ayano's association with the colour RED.

Shintaro

Shintaro was a burnt out gifted kid that didn't see the point in living after his friends (especially Ayano) died and was just waiting to die

Ene tried to inspire hope in him by becoming his friend, acting more cheerful and optimistic on person (after remembering her friend Ayano's words that Shintaro needed someone cheerful and optimistic and outgoing to carry him along).

After Ayano's death, Shintaro fed into his cynical pessimism and shut himself off even more and was constantly dreaming of coming to meet Ayano

Shintaro spirals into depression and becomes a shut-in NEET after losing all 3 of his closest high school friends on the same day, August 15th - Ayano, Haruka, and Takane

All 3 of your friends just gone. All in one day. That's devastating

...

Kuroha/Saeru, in most routes, is almost always indirectly responsible for their deaths. He is indirectly responsible for/orchestrated their deaths in most routes (ie. Music Route, Manga Route 1, and Novel Route, Anime Route)

The only time Kuroha/Saeru isn’t indirectly responsible for the Yuukei Quartet's deaths in some way, is in Manga Route 2 Iirc

One thing you'll learn about KagePro is that this mf (Kuroha/Saeru) is responsible for almost everything bad that happens. He's literally the cause for the majority of KagePro's conflict/tension

[generalhumancloudalmond2]

I have been thinking for some time whether I should do this post or not, and yet I came to the conclusion that yes. Right away I say there is only my personal opinion and if your opinion is different, then that's fine.

To begin with, I want to say that the 2 chapters in the manga about Akiko's past were probably my favorite, and I waited for season 4 mostly for this episode. And therefore, when different GIFs and pictures from the 9th series were shot in Tumblr, I understood.... that I don't like it. Most likely, this happened due to an inflated expectation and periodic re-reading of the manga. But I still watched this serie (I won't judge the series by a couple of screenshots and gifs) and my opinion hasn't changed.

The fact is that when watching the serie, I got the impression that I watched something separate from the manga. Anime also causes a storm of emotions, but I personally had these emotions more from the voices of the characters (I watch with subtitles) and from the sound accompaniment.

The 2 scenes that disappointed me the most were: the scene where Akiko is in the hospital and the scene where Akiko says that she cured 80 soldiers overnight.

I'll start with a simple scene with 80 soldiers, just for comparison:

Looking at Akiko from the anime, I just don't see fatigue in her, she looks like usual...

Now it's a little more complicated: the scene in the hospital. The first thing that caught my eye was crazy Mori. In general, Mori in the manga and Mori in this scene are two different characters. Yes, they both scare the viewer, BUT they do it in different ways. Mori in the anime scares with his inadequacy. While Mori's appearance in the manga itself looks threatening, he does not scare the viewer away openly, as in the anime.

Akiko herself is not like that here either. Akiko from the manga has no emotions, she doesn't care anymore, she notices Mori only after he HOVERS over her and then she reacts to him very sluggishly. While Akiko from the anime, on the contrary, is very sharp, she literally immediately transfers her pupils to the opening door. In the manga, it seems that Akiko is very exhausted and that is why she rides in a wheelchair, and in the anime she seems to have arranged a lot of rebellions and, as a result, broke her legs.

Well, Elice also upset me. In the manga, she is not alive, she has no emotions, only a smile, because of this she even looks a little older than Yosano. And in the anime... well... She looks like an ordinary little girl... I guess... Who is younger than Akiko... To be honest, I laughed when I first saw her, because of her very rounded bangs, she looks very small and it's a little ridiculous for me.

So, in the 9th serie, the main problem for me was that in some moments the emotions of the characters were either not twisted, or twisted, or did not hit at all. Well, as usual, some scenes from manga in anime were either removed or made more sterile, which also can not but upset.

[nopefer-art-tu]

OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE I ALMOST MISSED POSTING ABT BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN'S ANNIVERSARY???? im gonna get mushy here so if yall wanna skip this go for it i wont hold it against you lol but this movie means a lot to me (if u cant tell) and id just kinda like to share a little bit abt why

I remember when I first saw Brokeback, I'd been either a junior or senior in high school, and I had watched it with my ex. I literally have no clue how we got to watching it or who proposed we watch it in the first place, but I remember that even back then I had been incredibly moved by the story.

Cut to 5-6 years later, and in January of this year I'd been in the midst of a really, super dark depression thanks to some health issues that I've been dealing w for awhile now. It made it so that on top of COVID, I wasn't rly getting out of the house for anything but school, and even then doing that took a really big toll on my anxiety. So basically, from the time that the 2021 winter semester had ended for me in early December, to when school started back up again for the spring in late January, I hadn't left the house at all.

In mid January, like a week before school started back up for me, I was scrolling through Hulu, bored out of my mind and also trying to find something to occupy my time and thoughts w bc I'd been going stir crazy, and I saw that Brokeback had been listed again. I kinda lingered on it because I remember phil (@/senditothemoonn) had watched it like a month or two before and she had started talking abt it in our group chat and posting quotes abt it and stuff, and it had been awhile since I'd seen it so I was like hey! What the hell! Lets give it a watch, its time I watch it again anyways.

And like. Something happened to the world for me after that viewing. It was like it had blown apart, and when it came back together it was completelty rearranged for me.

I'm not entirely sure why that time around the movie has such a deep, DEEP impact on me when I had seen it before, and had been very touched by it back then. I think its partly that a. I never used to watch movies with subtitles, and so before I realized that I probably have issues with the way my mind processes sound, a lot of movie dialogue just kinda. Didn't get internalized by me for some reason? Even now when I rewatch old faves that I haven't seen with subtitles, I'm always astounded by what the hell theyre saying because I had never rly picked up on it before, lol.

And like...I mean if you've seen the movie then you already know this, but their accents and dialect are kinda hard to get through. ESPECIALLY when it comes to Heath as Ennis. Which isn't in any way a jab at him, I think every part of his performance is super thoughtful and well-crafted and every acting choice he makes serves the character in only positive ways. But when you already have issues processing audio, and when you have a character who's jaw is perpetually cleched so tight that the words literally have to "fight" their way out of his mouth, its just like. Not the best combination lol.

And so this time around when I saw the movie, I saw it with subtitles and it opened up a new dimension of the film to me. Honest to God, the first time I watched the movie, I had no idea that the shirts at the end were so signifigant because Jack had stolen Ennis'. I guess the first time I saw it, I didn't catch the part where Ennis talks about having left his damn shirt up there, and Jack just kinda shrugs it off and changes the subject. When I saw that moment this time, it didn't really strike me as anything important until the movie got to the end and you realize that Jack had kept the shirts all those long 20 years and UGH. I literally remember screaming with tears in my eyes, thats what happened to the shirt! There they are! And then when I saw that Ennis had put his shirt over Jack's to hang together on his closet door for the rest of his life? Dead. Dead, I was literally stabbed in the heart 50 million times and killed dead. I'd never made those connections before and now that I had I like. got it, yanno? I got why this was an oscar winner, and why people were sk devastated by its best picture loss. Not that I hadn't before, but it just hit so much harder.

So yeah, the subtitles probably had a lot to do w why its stayed lingering in my mind for a long while, but I also think its because in a few ways it kind of spoke to me and made me think about my health issues and the self-imposed quarantine that I'd put myself through for the better part of a year at that point.

To me, the whole story is about regret, about not taking the chances we have while we have them and having to learn to live with knowledge of the things we didn't let ourselves do and the memories we didn't let ourselves make.

I hadn't seen a lot of my family for awhile at that point because I just didn't want to be out of my house, and its only been recently that I realized how much life I've missed out on living for a good year and a half-ish or so. And like yeah, I have a reason, my health issues and super aggressive anxiety have kinda put me through the ringer. But I dunno like. I kind of empathized and related to Ennis' character in a really odd way, because he also let his fear control what he did and especially what he did not do, and for that, he ended up living a half-life and missed his chance of getting to spend his time with the person he loved the most.

For me, the fear of regret is one of my biggest motivators in doing literally anything. I've realized I don't want to end up like Ennis, isolating myself from my loved ones and missing out on the chance for love and life because of some issues I have. And I mean its not like they're not real issues. Just like the fears that motivated Ennis' actions, theyre very real concerns. But since seeing the movie, I've been a lot more proactive about seeing doctors and trying to get this shit fixed up, because I don't want to end up wasting my life away. I wanna find my Jack, and I wanna be happy, and I wanna live.

Anyways. Happy 17th birthday to my favorite movie in the world <3

[iprobablyshipit91]

Eek, so glad you’ve posted this! Lots been a long week with that cliff hanger.

Straight into the action which makes sense considering where you left off. My heart was in my mouth for the reader, literally being pinned down and bitten that way *shivers*. But then dean comes sweeping in of course, “Until Andy is ripped away from your neck, and is taken care of the way all vampires must be.” I really like how you phrased this. He’s a vampire and a monster now, there isn’t a hope for him and yet he’s still a child. It just felt you were really considerate of that. “He doesn’t have time to consider what he’s just done.” And I wouldn’t be shocked if this really hits home to dean later. At the moment he’s focused on the job and saving the reader so not processing what he’s done. Heartbreaking.

And then he has to literally lock down his caring instincts to stop the vamps before he can address the readers injuries. I can’t even imagine how hard that must be. “He keeps a protective line in front of you,” I loved this line though. So protective 🥹

And then the argument 🙈 we all knew this was coming and while it’s clear Dean is saying what he is out of fear of what could have been he also has to realise that he pushes it waaaay to far. I love that she curses him out in Spanish. I don’t know, there’s something about not understanding it that makes it worse I feel. “Oh, I’m sorry, does this telenovela-style tongue lashing come with subtitles?” As always I shouldn’t laugh but this was a great line and so very snarky Dean. Perfect.

“One of the mated pairs had taken Andy…to “adopt” a son of their own.” I don’t even know where to start with this line. It gave the story and even bigger creep factor and just made me so sad.

I love the nickname dean has come up with for the readers T-shirt. It’s a really sweet thought. The tension between them is palpable considering their fight though but I have to agree with dean considering they’re still sleeping next to each other, things could be worse!

When dean walks in to her dancing it’s so cute. I can’t salsa but have definitely done little routines when cleaning and cooking so I can totally relate and then just the image of dean watching with a smirk on his face makes me melt so much. ““Nice moves, Shakira,” he quips.” Loved this!

“It startles a shriek of surprise out of you as you whirl around. Dean’s smile hikes up into a grin, but it soon fades when he remembers the way your scream rang through his ears last night. The way his heart dropped into his stomach, and his head swiveled at the sound. And he saw you go down hard.” Dear lord you aren’t beating around the bush with this paragraph. It hit hard! I can perfectly see deans faces falling as he this thought floods his mind and how he’s no doubt beating himself up 😩

And do you know what, it was so nice for them just to wake up and apologise to each other. To have had that bit of time to get some clarity of the situation and not stay pissy at each other the next day. I loved that. And deans little speech about staying alone 🥺 just broke my heart. The man doesn’t deserve that at all.

And the reader wanting a family 🥺 it must be so incredibly hard with the life they lead but I really hope they manage to figure it out together!

Dean being the soft boy he is didn’t take much persuading on the salsa dancing and i loved it. The images of him getting the steps are so adorable I absolutely love it. And then that song. It sounds perfect for the two of them. Great choice. It was really cute how she translated for him. And then that teasing… ““You’re a little…stiff,”” cackling! “More of a connoisseur,” loved this line too. That whole section of teasing was just amazing.

“He lets out a deep breath, and you realize he’s probably thinking about where you were bitten. The wound is gone, but it doesn’t change what’s imprinted in both of your minds.” I swear you’re sending my emotions everywhere in this 🙈 it’s fluff then breaking my heart every other paragraph. This line hit hard.

“Isn’t it obvious?” you ask. “I’m gonna devour you.” So hot and I love that Dean gets this kind of relationship with someone. He deserves someone who loves him like this.

““I love you,” he says. His thumb traces along the familiar curve of your cheek.” Eek yes! Adorable! It’s so nice to see Dean be brave enough to say these words!

And just like how I loved that she cursed him out in Spanish, I think it was adorable how she told him she loved him in Spanish too. And dean didn’t need to understand every word to understand the meaning behind them. Just beautiful.

I very much enjoyed how she chose to show him she loved him too 😏

That ending with Sam - dying. Poor Sam hahaha!

Once again, loved this and loved these two. Another two shot? Yes please? One that fixes that ending? HELL YES! Can’t wait to read what you come up with next 💕

Devour Me - Part 2

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-Sized/Latina!Reader 

Summary: When you and Dean start to press each other’s buttons, both of your tempers ignite. To make up for it, you give him an impromptu salsa dancing lesson…one he didn’t exactly ask for. (18+)

AN: Here's Part 2 of the sequel to “Midnight Espresso!”

Go back to: Part 1

Song Inspo: “Yo No Se Mañana” by Luis Enrique.

But really it’s “Ven Devórame Otra Ves” by Lalo Rodriguez. (You’ll see why.) 🤭

Word Count: 5,400 Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Blood, character death and violence, smutty smut, angst, and tons of sexy fluff.

Part 2: "Telenovela Style"

Your resulting scream of agony is as unforgiving as the ground when your knees buckle, hitting the hard cement.

Andy grips you with the strength of a monster. 

Then he holds you down as he drinks your blood. 

No matter how you struggle and whimper, you can’t push him off, and you’re getting weaker by the second.

Until Andy is ripped away from your neck, and is taken care of the way all vampires must be. He doesn’t even feel the blade coming. 

When you’re able to look up, Dean stands above you with thinly veiled fury. He doesn’t have time to consider what he’s just done. 

He bends to gather you up into his arms, all the while trying to stamp down the panic clenching his heart. He calls your name, but you can only make weak sounds as your bleary eyes meet his. 

“Dean,” you manage. The ragged wound in your neck is bleeding profusely down your chest and shoulder, seeping into your shirt. He takes your hand and clamps it hard against your neck, even though it makes you whimper.

“Gotta stop the bleeding,” he says, apologetic but firm. “Keep pressing.”

In your stupor of pain, you don’t realize that your screech woke the entire nest. Dean has to lock up his worry; he looks up and finds his brother and Cas already fighting a hoard of angry vampires. 

Dean carries you over to them and lays you down against the wall with the other humans. He keeps a protective line in front of you, but he decapitates a vampire before she can sink her fangs into Sam next.

The two of them work together, and with Castiel’s smiting power behind them, the angel and the two men are able to clear the rest of the nest. 

By the end, only you and two of the women being held captive are still alive. The third girl’s heart just finally gave out. Sam takes the survivors to the nearest hospital. 

Meanwhile, Castiel approaches where you sit up against the inside of the barn, barely awake, while Dean kneels with you, holding you to his chest. He meet’s Cas’s blue-eyed request with a nod. So Cas stretches out a hand and touches two fingers to your forehead. 

You’re healed in an instant. Dean marvels, like he always does when Cas displays his power. Dean is able to breathe a little easier, the vice grip on his heart easing as he touches your neck.

The tan skin is once again smooth, if still stained with blood. You blink back into wakeful consciousness. 

He shifts so he can see your face. “You okay?” 

You meet his eyes but can only nod. His jaw is still tight and tense, and you can’t blame him. 

You know you’ve messed up. Big time. You nearly got everyone killed, including yourself…and now, you have to tell a mother that her son was dead. 

Dean helps you up, holding you by your arms and waist until you’re steady on your feet. You have a hard time meeting his eyes, but when open your mouth to apologize, he beats you to it. 

“I hope you’ve learned your damn lesson,” he says. 

Your gaze snaps up to his. “Excuse me?”

Dean’s hands go to his hips as his brows raise at you. 

“Next time, when I tell you to hang back, I mean that shit. Hang the hell back,” he all but growls. 

You tilt your head at him as your irritation begins to spark. Meanwhile, Castiel is the one who backs up as he glances between you and Dean uncertainly.

“I made a mistake, but that doesn’t give you the right to tell me what to do,” you shoot back. “I was a hunter long before I met you.” 

“Yeah, well, color me surprised that you’ve made it this long,” he snaps. 

Your temper flares hotter. “You know, you’re not so goddamn perfect either.” 

“Never said I was,” Dean says. “But when my gut tells me something ain’t right, I need you to fucking listen. Otherwise, we get a day like today.”

His words are edged with grit by the end of his little rant, and you don’t appreciate it. Your lips purse in anger.

“I don’t care what that legendary gut tells you,” you sass back. “I’m not a little girl, and you’re not my damn father!”

Dean raises incredulous brows at the way you’re shouting at him. He crosses his arms. 

“What’s this, some kind of Latina temper?” he asks snidely. 

You truly become incensed at that. 

“Oh, you want to take it there?” you ask, as your eyes narrow. “Que sin vergüenza tú eres, coño. Quieres que yo encienda? Entonces tú vas a ver quien soy yo.”

Dean won’t admit it, but in that moment, he’s a bit intimidated by the quiet threat in your voice. Still, his fuse is lit, and he’s way beyond curbing his internal filter.

“Oh, I’m sorry, does this telenovela-style tongue lashing come with subtitles?” he snarks. 

You let out an incredulous breath. Your eyes begin to sting.

“You’re such an asshole!” you shout back. There, understand that?

You turn away from him before your frustrated tears can fall, but you stop short once you notice Castiel dragging out the bodies of the dead…including Andy. Your throat constricts, and you begin to stalk out of the barn. 

Dean calls your name in frustration. 

“What?” you hiss. 

The only thing that makes him hesitate is seeing the state of you when you turn back around. His anger crumbles, and maybe something in him breaks when he sees your tears. They’ve welled up in your eyes, and a few of them carve a path down your cheeks. 

You’re still covered in your own blood, and he hates it. He hates it more than anything. 

Later, you see the state of yourself when Sam returns with the Impala. In the reflection on the backseat window, you see the blood dried down your neck, staining nearly half of your shirt.

You see the black rings of your mascara and eyeliner around your eyes. You look a mess, and you try to wipe underneath your eyes. It’s a fruitless effort.

After you all finish burning the bodies, Dean starts the long drive home. You insist on stopping to tell Rachel Campbell about her son, but Sam says he already took care of it when he drove into town. 

You frown, but you no longer have the energy to be angry. You further withdraw into yourself, and your lower lip trembles as you look out the window. Through the rearview mirror, Dean sees more tears slipping down your face.

What Sam told him (but he won’t tell you), is what one of the survivors said. One of the mated pairs had taken Andy…to “adopt” a son of their own. 

That night is quiet and tense in Dean’s room. You have to wash your hair all over again, and scrub the blood and grime from your body until only your skin remains. But you don’t have the energy to do more than braid your wet hair afterwards and pull on your lucky Journey shirt, which is still full of holes. 

Dean knows that it’s bad when you need the “dreamcatcher,” as he’s called it in his head. You’ve never had a nightmare while wearing that shirt, or so you claimed a while back. 

You wear it over some long pajama pants instead of your usual shorts, or better yet, nothing at all. But he can see what kind of mood you’re in. Things are unsettled as you both get ready for bed in silence. 

He notes the way you turn to face the other side in bed, maybe to avoid him. Though if you really wanted to do that, you could’ve gone to your old room.

So in more ways than one, Dean takes some solace in the fact that you’re still next to him. And he decides to give you some time and space. 

He goes to bed and tries in vain to sleep.

In the morning, Dean’s woken by the familiar smell of coffee…and the less familiar sound of loud salsa music. 

What the fuck?

After he brushes his teeth, he puts on his robe and slippers and heads down to the kitchen, where he finds you in a seemingly better mood. You’re mopping the floor, of all things. You’re out of your pajamas, instead wearing a loose shirt that falls off your shoulder and some spandex shorts. 

“Yo no se mañana…yo no se mañana. Si estaremos juntos, si se acaba el mundo,” you sing softly along with the music as you dance from the kitchen to the living room. Your phone is connected to a Bluetooth speaker on the coffee table. 

Dean starts to smile, crossing his arms as he leans against the doorway to watch you.

At an instrumental break with a run of conga drums and trumpets, you pause in your mopping to do a little twirl as you dance, with a soulful roll of hips and a flair of salsa steps. It makes Dean’s smile kick up into a smirk.

He walks in on purposefully light feet until he’s sidled up behind you in the living room.

“Nice moves, Shakira,” he quips. 

It startles a shriek of surprise out of you as you whirl around. Dean’s smile hikes up into a grin, but it soon fades when he remembers the way your scream rang through his ears last night. The way his heart dropped into his stomach, and his head swiveled at the sound. And he saw you go down hard. 

Then the rest of it tumbles through his mind—what he had to do afterwards in order to save you. How he’d did it without really thinking, his panic and determination blocking out almost everything else when he’d grabbed the kid. The monster, he forcibly reminds himself. 

“You trying to give me a heart attack?” you ask with a hand on your heart. 

Dean forces himself to smile a little. “Sorry. But might I remind you, not everyone here’s an early bird.”

You give him a wry look.

“You’re the only one around here who sleeps past 10 a.m. Cas dipped out a while ago, and Sam’s on a run.” 

But you graciously grab your phone to lower the music to a more bearable level. Dean doesn’t yet know this about you, but this—listening to music, dancing, cleaning—it’s all your way of coping…and releasing as much of your pain, terror, and regret from yesterday as possible. 

You then look up at him more guarded. The two of you exchanged a lot of unsavory words last night. In fact, it may just be the worst fight you two have ever had in almost three years of knowing one another.  

Dean senses the shift in you, and his amusement fades. He just can't let things stay like this. He won't.

He hazards drawing closer and touching your arm.

“Look…I’m sorry for snapping at you yesterday. I know I was being a dick,” he says. “You’ve just gotta understand something.”

You wait for him to continue with furrowed brows, sensing that whatever he’s about to say is hard for him. 

“There’s a reason I don’t do this. The uh, relationship thing,” Dean continues, clearing his throat. His thumb swipes along your arm. “It’s not just this job. It’s my fucked up life. I tried to warn you before—” 

“Dean,” you say with a sigh, but he raises his hand. 

“Please, just…let me say it,” he says. “You know the spiel. But things can change on a dime. Even on a damn milk run, like a dusty nest of vamps.”

You know that. You know you could’ve died yesterday, and he doesn’t need to remind you of that fact. Before you can start to get petulant again though, Dean continues. His jaw is working, like this next part is more difficult for him to admit.

“Trust me when I say, us being together is dangerous, for both of us,” he says. “For a while I…I started to think Sam and I were better off alone.”

…That casts you into dismay. Because you know Dean isn’t lying. He’s really contemplated spending the rest of his life devoid of love, so he won’t have to lose it. 

Dangerous, for both of us.

You realize then what Dean’s really saying. He’s afraid…afraid to lose you. You see it in his furrowed brows, the downturn of his lips, and whatever pain he’s trying to hide in the depths of his eyes. 

And just like that, the water works start. You can’t quite keep your tears at bay as you hold onto his shirt. He lets out a resigned sigh as he holds you by your arms. 

“You don’t have to cry for that,” he says, a bit teasing. 

“Have you met me?” you sniff. But you manage to look up at him with your glassy eyes. “I’m sorry too. God, I’m so sorry, Dean.” 

Your fist clenches in his shirt when you remember Andy, latched onto your neck, and how Dean had to save you. You know he’s remembering it too when his brows furrow, and his gaze falls away. You reach a hand for his cheek.

“I know I fucked up,” you admit. “I was working with my heart, not my head. I just…”

You wanted so badly to help that kid and his mother. You also know that Dean understands; you see it in his eyes. He holds your hand to his cheek and brushes his thumb across the back of your hand.

“I know,” he says. “I really am sorry, baby.” 

The problem is, you didn’t just see your own mother in Rachel. She hadn’t been much older than you. And when you imagine a life beyond hunting, more than anything (no matter how much you shove down the idea), you really do want a family of your own someday. 

It’s just…days like yesterday remind you why that could be a very bad idea. 

More of your tears bubble over, and you head willingly into Dean’s arms. “Me too…”

He holds you tighter than ever. His hands rub down your back, tangle in your hair, and he drops his lips onto your hair. You sniffle, wiping your face dry in his shirt. And for a while, the two of you have peace in the relative quiet. 

Music still plays from the speaker though. And when another salsa song starts to play on your playlist, you start swaying. A smile works its way onto Dean’s face. 

“You can’t help yourself, can you?” he teases.

You smile into his chest. “We should go dancing sometime.”

Dean just laughs. “Oooh, no.”

“Oh, yes,” you reply, batting your lashes up at him. You slip a hand on his shoulder and into one of his hands. He’s forced to hold you as if the two of you were about to start Fred Astair-ing across the living room. 

“Have you ever danced before?” you ask. “Like real dancing.” 

“Not salsa, I’ll tell you that,” he quips. 

“That’s okay. I’ll teach you,” you reply with a coquettish smile. “It’s just a few simple moves.”

Dean gives you a wan look. “You made it look anything but simple.”

You blush at that, but you meet him with a pout of disappointment. You don’t let up, even when Dean frowns. He huffs at you in resistance.

“No,” he insists. You just brush a gentle thumb along his neck, biting your lip in askance.  

But the longer he stares at your beautiful, hopeful eyes, the more cracks form in his resolve. 

Eventually, Dean breaks with a sigh, and a shake of his head. 

“You’re too much, you know that?” he mutters.

It’s then that you know you’ve won.

So with a happy squeal of excitement, you clap your hands and move to stand next to him so you can show him the basic steps of salsa dancing. 

You make him take off his robe and slippers, leaving in his shirt and plaid pajama pants. Then you instruct him for a few minutes, correcting his footing and getting him to move on a beat. You’re pleasantly surprised that he has some rhythm.  

Dean sighs once again. How the hell did we get here? Heat crawls up the back of his neck as embarrassment starts to set in. 

“This is fucking ridiculous,” he grumbles.

“You’re doing good,” you encourage, with a growing smile. “Now come on, feel the beat in threes. One, two, three. One, two, three…”

Once he sort of has the basic steps and turns down, you move to stand in front of him. There you show him how to hold you, how he’ll move forward, and you’ll move back. It takes a little while, but you slowly move through the combinations, then do a little twirl underneath his hand. 

When he pulls you back in without faltering, you give him a beaming smile. “Very good!”

A subtle grin raises his lips at your enthusiasm. He also feels his face heating up at the praise.

But you pause when a certain song filters through the speakers. It’s an old one (and it never fails to make you blush), but you love it.  

“Ooh, yes,” you exclaim with delight, and you turn up the volume.

“What’s this one?” Dean asks.

“Ven Devórame Otra Ves,” you inform him. Not that he knows what that means. You sing along a bit with the first couple of verses while you encourage Dean to lead you in the dance. 

This song is just slow enough for him to attempt it, and the funny thing is, he doesn’t feel all that uncomfortable with the steps now. He’s starting to get a feel for how to move, both with his feet, and with his hands as he guides you by your waist, holding your hand close to his chest. Still, Dean’s also curious about the lyrics you’re singing. 

“What does it mean?” he asks.

You huff in amusement. “You sure you want to know?”

Dean raises a brow. “Well, now I gotta know.” 

You giggle at that, though you correct his steps when he leads with the wrong foot. 

“Okay. It’s about a guy who’s pretty much a player,” you say with a smirk. “His bed has been a revolving door of hot ass, but he keeps thinking about this one woman who used to have him turned inside out…”

Dean’s lips curve at the familiar image you’re conjuring. He manages to turn you under his hand, then pull you back to him in one smooth motion. He looks down at you with a deeper gleam in his eyes. You bite your lip, soothing your hand from his shoulder and down his arm.

As the song’s verses come, you translate for him. And for Dean, your voice in itself is a spell.

“Even in my dreams, he says, I thought I had you devouring me. And I dampened my white sheets remembering you,” you begin. Your words are smooth like black velvet. “In my bed, no one is like you, who draws my body on every corner, without a piece of skin left over.”

Dean is getting hot under the collar as you push away, dragging your fingertips along his back as you turn around him. When you come back into his line of vision, his attention is attracted to the sway of your hips, clad just in those little spandex shorts. He has to clear his throat a bit. 

You eventually return to him with a warm hand against his chest. 

“Ven, devórame otra ves. It means, come devour me again,” you continue, looking up at him from under your lashes, “Come punish me more with your desire. Because I kept my love for you…because my mouth has the taste of your body.” 

You smile at the laser focus of his green-eyed gaze. “Come devour me again.”

You push off with another little spin. When you reach for his hand, Dean yanks you back into him, eliciting a gasp. The move disorients you for a moment, but you giggle and hold onto his arms. Your hands glide up to rest on his shoulders. 

He’s holding you flush against him, and as you shift a thigh between his legs, you unintentionally graze against his hardening length. You look up at him with a smirk.

“You’re a little…stiff,” you say, both flirtatious and teasing. “Let’s loosen you up.”

You shake his shoulders out and try to get him to relax. Dean raises a wry brow, because you know damn well whose fault it is that his body is coiled tight. But you place his hands on your hips as you move back into the dance. 

“Feel what I’m doing there?” you ask. He looks down on you with growing heat.

“If I could do that, we wouldn’t be together,” he rumbles. 

You try to stifle a laugh as he pulls you in close again, just swaying for a bit. Soon enough, you grin knowingly when his hands start to slide lower on your ass. His head bows to yours, ready to meet you with a kiss. 

You stop him with your finger on his lips.

“Question: do you consider yourself more of a tits or ass man?” you ask him. You’re half teasing, but still curious. Dean snorts at the question. 

“More of a connoisseur,” he replies, smirking. 

“Ah.” You nod sagely, and you point between him and yourself. “So this is like a ‘sample the menu’ situation.”

Dean’s smirk deepens. “Sweetheart, you’re a goddamn buffet.”

You splutter laughing…and that’s when he finally pounces. He claims your lips with greedy passion. His hand winds into your hair, gripping tight and ruining what’s left of your loose ponytail. The strands coil around his hand in messy curls while he also gets a healthy grip of your ass through your thin shorts. 

You smile into his lips, even as you acquiesce to him guiding your head to the side, so he can slip his tongue against yours. You grip his arms more for stability while he manhandles you, kneading soft flesh and making pleasant tingles run up your spine. 

After a little while, his mouth burns a hot path away from yours. He noses down your neck, skimming his lips across your skin. It sets your nerve endings on fire and gets you breathing more shallowly in his ear. You cling to the back of his shirt, holding him close. 

Often he’s one to leave love bites of varying degrees, wherever he sees fit. But for a moment he stops at the crook of your neck, just pressing a lingering kiss.

He lets out a deep breath, and you realize he’s probably thinking about where you were bitten. The wound is gone, but it doesn’t change what’s imprinted in both of your minds.  

A softer smile grows on your face. You trail your fingers up into his hair, massaging the back of his neck. 

“I’m okay,” you remind him. Dean hums deep in agreement. You know, however, that he’s still thinking far too much.

So you slide your hands down, slow between the dips and planes of muscle in his back, and rest at his hips. Your thumbs delve under the hem of his shirt and tease the skin there. 

And you start slow, pressing wet, nipping kisses of your own to his neck while you inch his shirt up. You feel his smile on your neck. His grip on your hip flares to life. Still, he lets you tug his shirt up and over his head. Your loose shirt comes next, revealing the same black satin and lace bra you wore the first time he ever got you topless in his arms. 

A fan favorite. Dean grins. He reaches around to go for the clasp, but your firm push on his chest takes him by surprise.

He falls back onto the couch with a grunt, looking up at you then with raised brows. You’ve got a mischievous little smirk on your face that heats his blood and makes his cock twitch.

You take out the rest of your falling ponytail, shaking your hair out wild. Then you let your hands drift down your neck, over your clothed breasts, and finally to your little shorts.

Dean rubs his palms down his thighs and watches. A smirk forms across his lips as you slide the fabric down the curve of your hips. It leaves you in a red thong, familiar to him by the little tear it has on the front. (Again, his fault.)

You climb aboard his strong thighs to straddle his lap, using his shoulders as leverage as you sink down. You make sure to rub yourself teasingly against his clothed erection. He groans in appreciation. His hands fly to your soft, thick thighs and squeeze. 

“Aw, I like this,” Dean says, half on another moan as you grind down a bit harder on him. 

“Yeah?” you tease. You take his face in your hands and capture his lips with your own. Your tongue invades his mouth, and he welcomes you with a deep hum. It’s slow and hot at first, but Dean feels the loss of you when you break from his lips.

Instead, you treat him with the same trail of kisses he gave you, along the curve of his jaw and down his neck. But you don’t stop there.

Your hands move over his chest with purpose, tweaking over each hard nipple while your mouth burns a wet line down and down his sternum. Dean groans at your ministrations, but lets you leave his lap to slide down to the ground, between his thighs. 

“What’re you up to, baby?” he asks, despite having a very good idea of it. He catches the playful, yet determined gleam in your eye. 

You pause, briefly leaning back up to give him a heated kiss. You part from him with a grin. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” you ask. “I’m gonna devour you.”

Dean stares hard at you as goosebumps break out across his forearms. 

Oh, fuck yeah. 

A giggle bubbles in your throat at the expression on his face. But you continue, taking his pants down his legs first, before his boxer briefs. 

Dean’s body tenses in anticipation. You’ve gone down on him before, but somehow it’s different this time. He feels like every single one of his nerve endings stands at attention along with his dick. And you’re taking your sweet time working him up. 

Even when his cock is finally free, you sooth your hands down his legs first, maybe teasing him a bit as you drag your nails down his inner thighs. Dean makes a strained sound, though he tries to hide it by clearing his throat.

Your gaze flicks up to his with a little smile. He’s holding the back of the couch; his fingers are digging into the old cushion in effort to keep still for you. But his eyes stare into yours like a man starving. You know what you’re in for after you have your way with him, but for now, he’s quite literally under your control. 

So you take him in your hands first. Dean groans as you tease him with light touches, soft movements, your thumb slowly circling over the sensitive, weeping head of his cock. It's torturous enough to make him drop his head back against the couch, closing his eyes tight.

And suddenly, he blinks them open again.

“Shit,” he utters, when you finally take him into your mouth. Your tongue is soft and wet, your lips move over him steadily, and your hands caress whatever your mouth can’t take, even teasing his balls. 

You work him over relentlessly, until he can’t help but spill everything he has to give into your waiting mouth. When you suck off and swallow whatever remains, Dean’s heart stutters like syncopated conga drums. 

He shudders and gasps for breath afterwards, watching your every movement—from wiping your mouth to shooting him that satisfied little smirk. 

You press one last kiss to the inside of his thigh before you raise from where you’ve been kneeling on the hard ground. 

Dean manages to lean forward and helps you up by your elbows. But then he pulls you back into his lap and kisses you deeply. He doesn’t let up until you’re panting with him.

“Fuckin’ hell, sweetheart,” he manages to say. His voice is deep and laced with grit. 

He’s still struggling for breath. You giggle and press your warming face into his neck. 

“What, now you’re shy?” he remarks. And he has to laugh. “Come back here.”

He brings your face back to him with a hand on your cheek. For a second, he just looks at you. His thumb strokes across your full, thoroughly kissed bottom lip.  

“Say it,” you encourage softly. “Whatever you’re thinking. Right now.”

A smile tugs at his lips. He can’t help but oblige you. 

“You’re too damn much,” he says again, both gruff and fond. Despite how you drive him up the fucking wall sometimes, he doesn't think it'll ever be enough for him, what he has with you.

Because this is something he'd almost given up on. Didn't think he'd get to have it. And it almost scares him, how much he wants you. How much he...

“I love you,” he says. His thumb traces along the familiar curve of your cheek.

It hasn’t been all that long, but he knows. You weaseled your way in without even trying. The least he can do for you is be honest.

Your fingers curl around his wrist, holding his hand in place. You tilt your head at him.

“Oh, yeah?” you ask. 

Dean hesitates, but he nods. “Yeah.”

A smile grows across your face. “Eh, I’m still on the fence.”

At his flat look, you laugh and lean in for a kiss. He allows it, a little petulantly. But you make up for it with sweet affection. Your gentle hands stroke down the column of his neck, down his chest. You then lean back so he can see your face.

“Yo te amo,” you whisper. “Te amo y te quiero, más que tú puedes creer y entender.”

Dean smiles. He doesn’t understand all of it, but he gets the important bits. He hears it in the tone of your voice. He sees it in your eyes. They shine with emotion, but mainly with love. 

Dean kisses your hand. He lets go, just so he can slip his hands around you to finally unhook your bra. He tosses it across the room without bothering to see where it lands.

You do though, and you meet him with a slightly narrowed gaze. 

“Are you making a mess of my clean bunker?” you tease. 

His lips curve as he kisses you again, while his hands each get a generous handful of your breasts. 

“Ah, hello, ladies." He grins. "Miss me?”

You can’t help but laugh. He’s such a dork sometimes.

But you hum when his thumbs brush over hardened nipples, then drag deliberate circles over them, and pinch just hard enough to make you whimper in pleasure. The sensation zips through you, enhancing the flood between your legs. 

“I fucking love that sound,” Dean mutters, and licks a hot path in the valley between your breasts. His lips move against your dewy skin when he says, “Do that for me again.”

When he takes a nipple in his mouth and nips a bit hard, you have to oblige him. Your voice rising high is music to his ears.  

So he goes for your panties next. You help him get them off and return to his lap. With a breathy moan, you revel at the feeling of his fingers probing into your wet heat.  

However, you and Dean have been too engrossed in one another to notice the door of the bunker unlocking, and heavy steps down the spiral staircase. 

It’s Sam who’s back from his run. Unfortunately, he soon has to shield his eyes upon reaching the living room. 

“Damn it, Dean!”

You yelp in surprise, but Dean laughs and holds you close to shield you from view. As a bonus, it presses your breasts against his chest. 

“All right, Sammy. Go to your room,” he chides playfully (but he means it). “The adults are havin’ a moment.”

Sam scoffs. “You’re having a moment on the goddamn couch!”

“Sorry,” you say, though it’s muffled in Dean’s neck. Your face is red hot with embarrassment. 

Sam rolls his eyes heavenward and tries not to see anything else on his way to his room. 

But Dean’s chuckle reverberates through your chest as his hand goes to your cheek. He encourages you to pull back, so he can see your face again. 

When he does, he smirks at the scarlet blush dusting your cheeks and neck. You bite your lower lip, but despite your embarrassment, you’re happy.

Your own words replay in your mind when you lean in for another kiss.

I love you, you’d said. I love you and I love you, more than you can believe and understand. 

AN: Yay! I hope you enjoyed Part 2 of the “Midnight Espresso”-verse! I loved writing this one so much. I know we're just doing fanfic here, but I genuinely put my heart and soul into this one. ❤️

I have one last two-shot rolling around in my head for these two. It deals with the Chuck storyline of season 15, with a “fix it” to the infamous “ending.” 😉 So let me know if you’re interested in seeing that! 

Also, here are a couple of Spanish translations:

[During their fight]: 

“Que sin vergüenza tú eres, coño. Quieres que yo encienda? Entonces tú vas a ver quien soy yo.”

Translation:

“You’re fucking shameless. Want me to fire it up? Then you’re going to see who I am (Essentially means fuck around and find out what I'm made of).”

[Song lyrics: “Yo No Se Mañana” by Luis Enrique]: 

“Yo no se mañana…yo no se mañana. Si estaremos juntos, si se acaba el mundo.”

Translation:

“I don’t know tomorrow. I don’t know tomorrow. If we’ll be together, if the world will end.”

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[gemsofgreece]

A dive into the dynamics of my favourite Greek ship; Stella & Sotiris

Analyzing my favourite shows is a hobby of mine and a recent binge re-watch of the Greek show Είσαι το ταίρι μου (Ise to teri mou - You are my soulmate ) urged me to write something about my favourite Greek ship. For those who do not know, Sotiris & Stella are one of the most popular Greek ships ever and [spoiler?] a canon endgame one. There are many reasons this ship is so loved; a) it’s part of one of the best Greek comedy series, b) the actors have a lot of chemistry and excel at their roles and, most importantly, c) it is an unconventional love story between a very handsome man and a not-as-much woman. The difference that makes this ship special is that this is not a cliche “ugly duckling” story. There is no makeover involved in which the humble girl turns into a pretty princess and the prince realises he loved her all along after all but her sudden prettiness made him realise it. None of that shit, and the “prince” is not an easy, inviting or accepting guy to begin with. Let alone that our female protagonist is not shy or humble or defeated at all and she literally gives zero shit for others’ opinions on her looks. In short, there are many special elements to this story.

*I am writing this in English because most Greek followers interested in this post agreed the post could provide feedback for the Greek mentality and perception of a good love story, a window in our minds in short, plus it is the first Greek show available with English subtitles so there could be interest in the future. 

 The reason I wanted to write about this ship is that some viewers often speculate on how, why and when Sotiris fell for Stella so this is going to be gravitating towards his perspective. The consensus is that he is already attracted to her in episode 9 (of 30 episodes) but this is incorrect. He develops an attraction actually already in episode 5 and they only meet in episode 4! So let’s see how things develop for Sotiris episode by episode. 

Episode 1 

In the first episode we are introduced to Sotiris and we see that he’s a person not swayed by everything that shines. While he is portrayed as an intelligent and competent man, he disdains the industry his family owns and prefers to work with the workers rather than be in the management like his two older siblings. He also appears to distance himself from his family and their rich mansion, building a small cabin in the garden for himself. 

Episode 2

In the second episode we get more insight. Sotiris is seen writing a lot. He also has a - probably - on and off girlfriend, Katerina, who is tall and thin but interestingly has similar colours to Stella’s. Katerina seems to be sweet and genuinely caring for Sotiris but he appears essentially indifferent towards her. Later in that episode, his older brother Nikos, basically a raging polygamous person, calls him to declare he found the love of his life. Sotiris is sarcastic and doesn’t believe him. When Nikos asks him what is going on in his romantic life, Sotiris avoids to answer and does not mention Katerina. After Nikos calls him a loafer as a joke, Sotiris hangs up and angrily throws away something he was writing. In a different scene, Nikos says to his best friend Alexis that Sotiris is not a man for marriage and kids (as if HE is). 

Episode 3 

We find out that Sotiris does not talk at all about his family to Katerina and he also judges her for still being close with her parents. He gets angry with her because she took a family photo of his from his desk and asks her to leave. Sotiris is being very secretive. Later, we see that Sotiris has a problematic relationship with his father. When the latter comes to announce to him the good news of Nikos getting married, Sotiris responds with emphatic disinterest and irony. His father expresses his disappointment in him and Sotiris reacts in fury and dismay the moment his father leaves. Towards the end, Sotiris has another meeting, this time with his sister Anneta who wants to stop that marriage from happening because she is sure Nikos found a golddigger. She interrupts Sotiris from having sex with Katerina to express her concerns, clarifying she does not trust him either but he is her last hope to help her prevent this marriage. Anneta says Sotiris isn’t different from Nikos as he is switching women constantly which actually irritates Sotiris once again. While this can’t be understood by a first time viewer, it is actually an instance of unreliable narration. We never see Sotiris with anyone other than Stella or Katerina, while we already see Nikos with multiple women over the course of just three episodes. It makes me assume it was not that Sotiris was a womanizer like Nikos - but he had consistently been emotionally unavailable and closed off, which made people think he was not taking any woman seriously. 

 Episode 4 

Sotiris has a better relationship with his mother but is slightly jealous when she seems to think a lot about Nikos, even though this is the day of the latter’s engagement in Australia (where he lives temporarily for business). Sotiris doubts marriage can bring happiness. Later, Nikos announces his fiance Vicky is coming to Greece to meet the family and describes her pet peeves, phobias and lifestyle choices to the family. Vicky sounds very particular about a lot of things and this annoys Sotiris. When Vicky arrives (who is actually Stella but that is a whole other story) Sotiris, like most members of the family, is dumbfounded as she is a totally different person from the fragile stunner Nikos had been describing all along. 

Episode 5

Upon Vicky’s (Stella’s) arrival, Nikos immediately calls Sotiris to ask what he thinks of her. Sotiris diplomatically replies “she seems to be a good girl” but it’s clear he disapproves of Stella’s looks. Nikos reasons that Sotiris must be jealous and that he should see her in a bathing suit, which Sotiris finds hilarious. Later, Nikos calls through the landline and Stella has to talk to him in front of the whole family. Stella turns her back to them and secretly hangs up, a move only Sotiris notices and jumps up. 

Sotiris doesn’t reveal that to anyone (perhaps he isn’t sure of what he saw) and is annoyed of all the care his parents take to please her. He is also as dumbfounded as Anneta when Stella claims she is a model and he definitely believes she and Nikos are not a good match. When Nikos calls for a third time during dinner, Sotiris is barely coping. Despite all his disapproval, he and Stella already have two moments even in this very first welcome dinner. Vera, the mother, embarrasses Sotiris by asking whether Stella has any good friend they could introduce to him too. Stella replies that she knows many good girls but she doesn’t know what Sotiris’ type is. This somehow affects Sotiris. My speculation is that, as we see, Sotiris is emotionally and intellectually distanced from all his family, friends and girlfriend. I think already Sotiris feels instictively that Stella is a rare somebody he can communicate with on a more profound level and this makes the answer to Stella’s question (what’s his type) hard to consider.

Later, Stella wants to smoke, contrary to Nikos describing Vicky as an anti-smoker, and Sotiris, a heavy smoker himself, is relieved and lights a cigarette. Smiling, he helps Stella with the lighter and she thanks him, very clearly attracted to him.

Episode 6 

The same night, after everyone has fallen asleep, Stella attempts to flee the house. She bumps into Sotiris sexily lounging in the garden. Stella denies she’s fleeing, despite comically carrying three gigantic suitcases, a backpack and a handbag hanging from her neck. Stella claims she wanted to go for a night walk which of course Sotiris does not believe but he plays along, offering to give her a night tour of Athens. He asks her to wait for him at his motorbike and carries her suitcases back. Now, this is extremely uncharacteristic of Sotiris. He essentially makes her stay and takes the initiative to go out with her rather eagerly. Sotiris NEVER takes the initiative with anyone, ever. This is one of the fundamentals of his personality. He could have a 10 opposite him and he would still not take the initiative to go anywhere with her (as we’ll see much later with the real Vicky). At some point, they stop somewhere with a good view of Athens. There, again, Sotiris initiates most of the dialogue (VERY uncharacteristic, Sotiris hardly speaks at all) asking Stella of her whereabouts, when and how she fell for Nikos. Then, he warns her of Nikos’ unstable romantic life but quickly regrets it. Stella perceives Sotiris likes neither Nikos nor her. Sotiris explains he loves Nikos but likes to keep his distance (compare this with how mad he was at his girlfriend Katerina asking about his brother). As for him disliking Stella, Sotiris mostly avoids to answer, eventually saying he will “tolerate” her since his brother chose her and that everyone’s taste is different. Not only Stella gives zero fucks for Sotiris’  rudeness, but hearing this, she suddenly gets night munchies which amuses Sotiris who offers to take her to the closest canteen. Stella reacts enthusiastically and Sotiris smiles genuinely, maybe for the first time in the show. Before they leave, Sotiris asks her once more why she was trying to flee and Stella deflects again. Two things are very interesting here: a) Sotiris asked her whether his family disappointed her so much that she tried to flee. This shows Sotiris already projects through her and that he already starts bonding with her. His mind doesn’t go to the obvious negative explanation, that she is a fraud, but thinks instead that she is like him and finds his family unbearable. b) Sotiris never told anybody that Stella tried to escape the first night, not even to his sister Anneta who is convinced there is something up with her and tries to find out. 

Despite their first date (because that’s what it was let’s be real) going pretty well, Sotiris shows a different stance later in the episode. He and Anneta watch speechlessly Stella playing very...uhm... gracelessly with Anneta’s son, Miltiades. Sotiris says “No matter how much of a shithead Nikos is, he would never get engaged to a...girl like her. He wouldn’t even look at her. Our brother has lost his mind”. Sotiris mostly addresses everything to Nikos, while Anneta uses constantly bad characterisations for Stella, something Sotiris does not do. Mother Vera argues Nikos must have seen something in her and Sotiris suggests, kind of bitterly, that maybe she has “secret talents”. Vera scolds him but this means that Sotiris is already assuming a lot about Stella’s privacy. Anneta agrees that it is likely since Nikos is erotomanic and Sotiris looks very disapproving of his brother - another evidence he is not like him as everyone thinks.

And then out of nowhere, he implies Stella is a golddigger, which literally makes no sense because a) one doesn’t need to be a golddigger to fall for a handsome guy like Nikos and b) Sotiris knows Stella wanted to escape. The only explanation for this sudden change of stance is that he tries to find problems in this relationship, unlike Anneta who genuinely thinks Stella is a liar. Besides, when Anneta clarifies that Nikos is the victim in this situation, Sotiris is secretly irritated.

After Anneta’s accusation towards Stella, Sotiris stops being willing to support his sister, claiming “he doesn’t care about Nikos’s affairs”. Clearly, he felt defensive for Stella’s sake and quickly went into denial mode. 

Later, Vicky, Nikos’ real fiance, passes by to talk to Stella but only Sotiris is at home. The real Vicky is indeed a stunner and they both are visually attracted to each other. Vicky introduces herself as Stella, Vicky’s (real Stella’s) bestie from Australia. Sotiris promises to tell Vicky (Stella) she passed by. They both stall, prolonging the encounter, but Vicky eventually leaves. When Stella returns, Sotiris tells her Vicky passed by and asks whether Nikos knows her, confused how his brother didn’t hit on her. And then we have this iconic reply: 

And then we have a very unintentionally “married” moment, as Stella concludes Sotiris liked Vicky. Sotiris deflects like a husband who wants to avoid the fuss but Stella has none of it and lies that she can arrange a date for them. Sotiris, who also knows she’s full of shit, plays up his narcissistic persona and says he doesn’t have a problem either way and leaves, but not without touching Stella to get his lighter back instead of simply asking for it. 

We are in the literally first episode they properly interact and they are clearly already fully into each other and at least suspecting the other’s interest as well. Sotiris is not into Stella’s appearance yet but he is sold on everything else. He shifts moods like a rollercoaster. Stella reveals to her best friend Toula that she is falling for him, deciding to make a move. To her bad luck, Sotiris catches her ravaging the family fridge in the middle of the night, which repells him a little. Stella tries to overcome this and have a drink with him but Sotiris says he wants to be by himself. Stella respects that. The other day, the family decides Vicky (Stella) suffers all alone in the house in the summer and someone should take her to their summer house in Andros island. Lycurgus, the father, insists Sotiris should go with her. When Vera tries to tell Sotiris, he is heard in all of Athens. He raises hell, shouting he does not like her and he would not go even to the closest mini market with her. In his efforts, this time he shittalks her openly for ravaging the fridge in the night. His reaction is inexplicable because we have never seen a negative interaction between them. Let alone that the very first night he was getting her to canteens voluntarily. The conclusion is that Sotiris was scared at the prospect of being all alone with Stella for the entire weekend. Let’s not forget she is supposed to be his brother’s fiance. 

When they arrive at Andros, because of course they do, Sotiris directly tells her he’s living a nightmare and is very authoritative and stern towards her, to the point that Stella responds to him like he is her captain in the army. 

Episode 7 

Sotiris keeps acting indifferent, abrupt and borderline rude. Stella in the meanwhile goes into either starvation mode or eats secretly from Sotiris. And here’s an important thing - one common toxic behaviour is when a guy supposedly is into a girl but insists on helping her lose weight. Amidst his seeming indifference and silence, Sotiris asks Stella whether she had breakfast and later if she wants a snack at the beach. So, he knows she likes eating and / or that she would be hungry by now and he reminds her to eat. Once Sotiris goes to the beach bar to buy them ice creams, he bumps into Vicky (who has followed them along with Grigoris) and stains her swimsuit but it is mostly her fault. Sotiris remembers who she is. Vicky doesn’t and throws a huge tandrum and calls him names which almost makes them physical. Sotiris warns her saying “You’re so lucky that-” but Vicky brushes him off. What he meant was “you’re so lucky you’re Stella’s friend otherwise I wouldn’t let this drop”. Sotiris leaves steaming and tells Stella nothing of this encounter. Apparently, he has picked up on the weirdness of it all. Later that night, he asks whether Stella wants to go out with him but clarifies like a billion times it’s his mother who suggested it. Like, what truly indifferent man actually ever says that??? Stella picks up on his utterly failed attempt at indifference, so she asks him rather boldly whether he wants her along too. And when I say boldly...

There is NO WAY Sotiris hasn’t realised by now that Stella hits on him full and hard. Probably this adds to his aggression and defensiveness. In any case, no sister-in-law-to-be acts like that or should ever act like that. This is why once again Sotiris acts very dismissively which angers Stella but she will not waste this chance and glosses up before she follows him out. And truth is, Sotiris actually liked her. Physically, this time. 

STELLA: I’m ready, let’s go!

SOTIRIS: Finally! (looks at her)...What did you do?

ST: What? 

S: Why do you look like this? 

ST: (acting fake coy) Come on... Stop the compliments, I am blushing!

S: Is this why it took you hours to get ready? 

ST: Hours?! Ten minutes, I fixed my hair, put lipstick on, that is all...

S: All women are the same.

ST: (full attitude)  Ahhhh, our night is off to a bad start, Sotiris boy. You ain’t gonna compare me to all other women. 

S: Whatever, let’s go now. I must remind you... I am taking you out only because my mother asked it!

ST: (still full attitude) Is that so? I AM taking you out because my mother-in-law asked it! 

S: (lowkey speechless)  ...Get a move on. 

This scene is very important because there is a genius irony in here. Stella asks that Sotiris won’t think of her as “one of the many” but Sotiris already thinks she is different! When he saw she took a long time just to gloss up is when he reached the conclusion that “all women (therefore her too after all) are the same”. Therefore Sotiris had previously formed the impression that Stella wasn’t like the others. However, joke’s on him because now he is into her physically too. It’s clear that Sotiris does not care for looks, it is not a prerequisite for him. But it is a welcome bonus as it happens with us all. 

Regardless, Sotiris remains moody and distant when they go out. He’s such a party pooper that Stella prays dramarically for strength to put up with him and Sotiris acts “done”, but look as soon as Stella can’t see him: 

Dude is having the time of his life! But not for long. The real Vicky shows up and Sotiris wants to vanish. He only barely acknowledges her and poor Grigoris’s presence. After the initial shock, Stella drags Vicky to the restroom where they have a fight. Vicky shows interest in Sotiris but takes Grigoris and leave. On the contrary, Sotiris is utterly relieved when they do leave and so is Stella, who expresses it openly. They bond over disliking Vicky but Sotiris has not much time to wonder why Stella dislikes her supposedly best friend because Stella starts dancing in a very... unique way that makes Sotiris wanna kill himself and attracts two assholes. Sotiris finds Stella’s dance embarrassing, however this doesn’t mean he doesn’t turn mad when the two guys start laughing at her. Sotiris launches at them, attempting to protect her and the guys beat him up. Stella, who doesn’t take any shit, sees Sotiris is in a fight (doesn’t know why) and launches at all three, attempting to defend Sotiris! I LOVE THEM! Long story short, they kicked them out of the bar. Sotiris is ready to leave quietly but Stella causes a huge fuss. Then he turns against her, saying it was his fault he tried to defend her. Furious, Stella replied with the exact words that would probably seal the deal for Sotiris: 

Did I ask for your help? Answer me, man! Did I? We need to clear the air here! I don’t need anyone’s help! I can handle things on my own! One, two, three, done! 

Stella has qualities Sotiris loves: she’s independent, strong, straight-forward, brave and doesn’t give a shit about what others think. Of course, they are mad at each other and eventually Sotiris leaves without her. Stella returns home on foot and she is in a dissolving state. Sotiris has left the door open for her. Stella grabs two beers from the fridge and tries to wind down after this disaster of an evening. 

Now normally, Sotiris hates her and would love to pretend he is asleep and avoid her, right? Except...

Yeah, well done, Sotiris. This is exactly how you show up to a woman whose attention you try to avoid. Half-naked, zipping up in front of her. After the visual show-off, Sotiris sits next to her and joins her for the beer. Again, Sotiris is being very uncharacteristic. He hated the idea of going anywhere with her. He was in his room, where he could avoid her, pretend he was asleep. But he chose to get up, barely dress and join her for a drink. Even though they just had a huge fight, they act like it didn’t happen. Sotiris is still authoritative and Stella is still sarcastic but they are back to normal, just like that. Stella asks him again whether he liked Vicky and this time Sotiris is more honest. He tells her women like Vicky are not his type but is evasive about the type he actually likes. He argues again that Nikos would like a woman like Vicky but adds that Stella shouldn’t feel jealous because Nikos sounds smitten with her. Stella doesn’t explain the misunderstanding and compliments herself, wondering loudly what is so special about her. That gives Sotiris a start, abandoning his rare conversational side. He abruptly tells her to go sleep and retreats to his room. Clearly, Sotiris did not want to think about what made Stella special - especially while sitting right next to her. Moreover, he was reminded of his suspicion - that Stella hits on him. 

By the way, the show doesn’t let us go without giving us a parallel to emphasize on Sotiris’ motives behind defending Stella. The next day, Vicky and Grigoris are at the beach. While Grigoris is swimming, two guys harass Vicky (two mocked Stella too). Grigoris rushes to defend her and the two guys grab him and toss him to the water (like Sotiris being beaten up). Vicky only calls for help but when the assholes leave she gets into the cold water to get to Grigoris (like Stella defending Sotiris, almost, well Vicky is Vicky). When Grigoris comes to, Vicky kisses him for the first time, calling him “my knight in shining armour, my romantic boy”. Of course these two are major characters too and this is not just a plot device, however it DOES work as a parallel for Sotiris, who appears so emotionally constipated that it’s hard for us to recognize the reasons behind his actions. 

Episode 8 

The episode starts while the family has dinner and the parents suggest to Sotiris that he should bring Stella to the aisle in the wedding, since Stella is an orphan. Sotiris immediately reacts, however it is relatively toned down. Militiades, his nephew, who loves his aunt-to-be Stella, asks if he’ll take her there with his motorbike. Sotiris is still negative but he has a weird expression, like he is troubled and bitter but also barely suppressing a smirk at the thought. 

The following morning Stella sees Sotiris working in the garden. This is the case of the unreliable narrator again. We are constantly told how Sotiris is lazy and does nothing but he is actually the only one who we see working literally all the time. Stella pretends she airs her bedsheets and starts singing loudly a romantic song in the window “It dawns only for you...”. How clearer should she make it? Sotiris stops the work enough to act ‘done’ and shake his head. Stella is interrupted by Panagiotis who compliments her voice. This is another technique used regularly in this show. When Sotiris guards his reaction around Stella, there is someone else who appears and voices Sotiris’ thoughts. Of course, it matters that Panagiotis believes this on his own but HE IS also a plot vessel here. In future instances this will become clearer. After Panagiotis leaves, Stella resumes her singing and we can see that Sotiris can’t focus on his work and he frequently breaks his neck to look at Stella sing instead. 

Nikos asks Sotiris to bring a horse to Vicky (Stella) who loves horse-riding. Sotiris complies and Stella’s first attempt at horse riding is a disaster. Sotiris and everyone else present are at a loss for words. Sotiris helps her mount the horse but Stella is really NOT made for this. Sotiris kinda has second hand embarrassment and is seen hiding his face on the horse’s neck in despair but he doesn’t say a thing. 

Then Anneta sends Sotiris (because lazy Sotiris does everything in this show) to ask around in Stella’s old neighborhood for more information about her. Sotiris finds a car mechanic and says “ I am looking for a girl. Vicky Seitanidi... A girl... how can I describe her... She must be from Agrinio”. As you see, Sotiris avoids consciously to describe Vicky (Stella) by her appearance, (the first thing mentioned usually in such talks is the body type) and chooses to describe her by her descent. Sotiris doesn’t want to talk to a stranger about what conventionally will be interpreted as Stella’s flaw. Dude respects her fully even when she is not around. The car mechanic however understands who he is talking about and says Vicky was the most beautiful girl in the neighborhood, a “ten” who liked to torture and play with men. Sotiris is confused as hell, reasoning he must be talking about somebody else but he doesn’t entirely reject the possibility. The car mechanic asks his name and Sotiris unknowingly gives the name “Stelios”. Stelios of course is the masculine version of Stella! So the show here plays with the idea that it is really their fate to be soulmates. 

Episode 9 

Stella confronts Sotiris for embarrassing her with the horse. Sotiris invites her to play darts with him to which Stella replies “she usually plays with men instead”. Stella is the peak example of “fake it till you make it”. But the truly funny thing is that Sotiris was told in the previous episode by the mechanic that Vicky indeed was playing with men. So Sotiris still does or tries not to believe all this but there is this confusion growing inside him of “what the actual fuck, cound this be true?!”. They start throwing sarcastic jabs at each other which eventually gives Stella the opportunity to ask him what he thinks about women, family and love. Here is a very interesting detail: 

STELLA: I wonder what you think about women!

SOTIRIS: (gently touches her on her thigh to push her out of the dart aim’s way) These are conversations I have with men only.

ST: Okay, imagine I am a man. 

S: What? 

ST: Imagine I am a man and we talk about women. 

S: To presume you are a man, you mean?

ST: It wouldn’t be that hard for you...

S: ....

ST: Don’t hesitate, go ahead...

Sotiris stalls twice at Stella’s urge to see her as a man and when Stella implies she is plain looking enough for him to have no problem doing it, Sotiris pointedly does not respond. Compare this with how Nikos in a later episode tells Stella he sees her as a best mate (male) of his. Anyway, since Stella insists, Sotiris complies and he gives her the most sexist answers he could come up with, while subtly checking her reactions. Stella tries to stay calm but eventually breaks character and calls him sexist, misogynist and hanged-up. Then Sotiris calmly but triumpantly tells her she does not sound like a man anymore. Sotiris was trying to draw her out of her male alias and to rouse a reaction from her. He gets more serious when Stella grabs him softly by the hand and asks him about family. Being an orphan since childhood, Stella values family a lot, however Sotiris, privileged as a member of a large family, explains his frustration with the conventions that taint family values, meaning that one can be member of a family and still not feel truly he is a part of it in a more profound sense. During this dialogue, Sotiris also implies he does not believe in love and romance while Stella exposes herself as a hopeless romantic. Viewers soon will realise Sotiris is lying and knowing Stella is a romantic will actually draw him even closer to her. Stella, seemingly disappointed in his answers, thanks him sarcastically and turns to leave. Then she returns, takes a dart and hits a bull’s eye. Then she tells him “If I really aim for something, I always succeed”. Sotiris is impressed.  What Stella meant by this was that no matter how many obstacles Sotiris put in her way, she was determined to win him over. She essentially plainly tells him “you don’t believe in love, you don’t see anything in women except beauty and service, you don’t want family or kids... yet I am still gonna have you”. It is unclear but I believe Stella also suspects Sotiris is lying to her. 

Later at the same night, Anneta gathers the whole family to interrogate Stella. Only Sotiris sides with her. Initially, Anneta is in charge of the situation, yet gradually Sotiris becomes more and more involved, heated up and intense as Stella continues to answer correctly thanks to her lucky stars. Eventually, really intense, Sotiris challenges her to say something very private about Nikos. Stella does and initially most of them think she is wrong, and Sotiris rises up and tells her she must confuse Nikos with somebody else, so as we see, the talks about Vicky playing with men start getting to him. Eventually, Vera confirms Stella’s allegation and Anneta and Sotiris are shocked, but Sotiris especially is petrified. 

This is super nasty for Sotiris. Not only he humiliated himself in front of Stella, which is bad news for his massive ego, but he also is now convinced Stella 100% has been intimate with his brother, while he was cultivating hopes this was not the case. As soon as Stella returns to her bedroom, the parents accuse Sotiris and he shouts “LAY OFF ME, ALL OF YOU” before leaving. Because apparently nobody understands why Sotiris acted the way he did.  But here it’s important to note a detail: in the beginning of this scene, Anneta refers to the disastrous horse-riding episode, during which she wasn’t present. Then the grandpa bursts out laughing, revealing it was him who told Anneta about Stella’s incompetence as a rider and not Sotiris, even though Sotiris is both the closest one to Anneta and also supposedly cooperating with her to reveal Stella’s scheme. 

EVEN later that night, Sotiris goes to Stella’s bedroom to apologize. Stella forgives him easily because she knows Sotiris technically isn’t wrong in his suspcicions against her. She asks him why he is so jealous of Nikos. Sotiris denies it but uncharacteristically sits on her bed and goes into a meltdown about how his father always loved Nikos more. She is the only one Sotiris opens up to so easily. He goes on denying firmly that he feels any jealously and he finally slips “I was never jealous of him, never! Not even now”. He tries to leave then but Stella isn’t having it. She presses him for an explanation. Sotiris explains that even though he is not into her at all (yeah right), Nikos is lucky to have found a good partner like her. And then we have this iconic dialogue: 

STELLA: You saw right through me, huh? 

SOTIRIS: He’s lucky to have you as his wife. Me too.

ST: ???????

S: I mean... I am lucky to make you my sister-in-law! 

ST: But I am also lucky to make you my brother-in-law! We are all so lucky!

S: A happy family! (?!?!?!?!?!)

ST: Are we gonna stop kidding ourselves, ever? 

Sotiris can’t handle her bluntness and tries to leave again. Stella shuts the door and asks him why he ruins everything good in his life - his relationship with his family, his opportunity at a good job. Sotiris stops her and says she has no idea what it is like to feel lonely. Stella is infuriated and claims she is the true expert in loneliness, denying openly that Nikos is hers and kicks Sotiris out of her room. What she meant about Sotiris ruining his life was that Sotiris was refusing his chances at happiness. Stella’s question seems irrelevant to the previous discussion and Sotiris’ slip-up but it is not. She indirectly asks him why he denies her even though he is in love with her, and why he has a habit of doing this in all aspects of his life. This episodic encounter leaves Sotiris confused and Stella very sad. 

Sotiris still is in a relationship of sorts with Katerina. He still is mostly indifferent around her. Stella is watching them one morning and as she peeps through the window of Sotiris’ cabin, the chair she stands on breaks, making a loud noise. She manages to hide but Sotiris gets out and sees the broken chair and understands it was her. He can hardly suppress his satisfaction. He gets inside and reassures Katerina nobody saw them. Suddenly excited, he doesn’t let her leave and has sex with her with a new surge of energy. Stella doesn’t let Katerina fully enjoy that rare gift of Sotiris’ excitement - she ruins the tires of her bike. Poor Katerina. But Sotiris is going to know Stella was watching them and then ruined his girlfriend’s tires. It’s not like Stella ever gave a single shit in her life...

Episode 10

Stella takes it even further and the following Sunday meets Katerina before she gets to Sotiris’ cabin and tells her he’s a gigolo! Katerina freaks out and leaves. When Sotiris gets out to see why Katerina is late for their date, Stella leaves singing “Wait no more, it’s all over...” Like, she’s ruining his relationship to his face, she doesn’t even bother to hide it! But let’s be real; Sotiris enjoys seeing Stella trying to ruin his relationship.

Anneta and Sotiris go to a private detective. He advices them to search for Stella’s ID card. Sotiris sneaks into her room but Stella follows soon after and Sotiris hides under her bed. Stella jumps into her bed in a good mood and unknowingly nearly breaks Sotiris’ neck. Sotiris is pissed but of course can’t reveal to the rest of the family how he got injured. When they go to the detective’s office again, the detective tells them what he has found out about her so far, including that: she was a school flagbearer because of her height, she quit many jobs because she was getting sexually harrassed by her bosses, she was dating a famous Greek singer, she was popular among rich Greek expats in Australia, she was working as a model there and had an offer to be in the cover of Australian Vogue. Sotiris breaks at this point and bursts out laughing. However, he scolds Anneta when she makes her vitriolic remarks. “Come on, Anneta, enough!”. The interesting thing here is that we have again the trope of projected exposition; when Anneta says her head is buzzing because she was told Vicky dated a handsome celebrity, we actually get a shot of Sotiris experiencing exactly this. 

When they conclude it can’t be the same person and the detective is offended, Anneta says “Sotiris, let’s go, I am getting a headache!” and we see Sotiris looking like he’s getting a headache. So it is definitely a thing in this show - Sotiris’ feelings are projected through others because he almost never expresses them on his own.

Back in the house, Panagiotis reveals to Stella that someone from the family is in love with her. He means himself but Stella thinks it’s a confirmation of her suspicion that Sotiris loves her. 

(End of part 1)

[voidsteffy]

Hello, do you have any desi movie recommendations for a european such as myself? And do you know where to find such movies with english subtitles?

I've always lived the short bits of desi movies I've seen on gifs and stuff but i wouldn't know where to start. I'm a big fan of romcom if it helps narrow down your recommendations. Thank you!!

Oh hey! These are the underrated Telugu film recommendations that I already posted on here, they're underrated but they're definitely worth the watch (ig they have subtitles on the streaming platforms I mentioned and most of them are rom coms). I'm mostly a curator of hindi, english and telugu films so you might find others recommending other language or more films💗

Some others are listed below, enjoy!

1.

Krishna Gaadi Veera Prema Gaadha (Telugu)

(it's available on Amazon Prime with subtitles, kindly check if it's the same in your country) - it's a comedy of errors that takes root in the protagonist willing to do anything for the girl he loves. Even drive her nieces and nephew across state with a slew of gangsters on his tail.

2.

Black (Hindi)

(Rani Mukherjee and Amitabh Bachchan) - I have no words for this movie... It's a piece of art is all I can say. It's not a romcom though, it's like the Hellen Keller case but make it Indian. If you're venturing into desi movies, it'd be a wonderful experience to enter the art this way.

3.

Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham (Hindi)

This has a star studded cast and omg it's made our childhood over here in India. It has cute dance numbers and celebrations. It's a pakka romcom/family drama movie and you'll be addicted to the theme song that plays literally every 10 seconds

4.

Dil Chahta Hai (Hindi)

A story about 3 friends who find love all in their own way. A heartfelt movie about friendship and how each perceives love.

5.

Dil Dhadakne Do (Hindi)

Partly a romcom but full time chaotic family drama but more refined lol. It's about a rich emotionally-broken fam roaming Greece on a cruise in an anniversary party of the parents.

6.

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara - If you haven't been out in a while, this movie will give you all the FOMO of the world lol. Three friends (again haha) set out to roam Spain for a bachelor's trip and find themselves. It's like a fest for the eyes (and i'm not just talking about the sceneries 🙈)

7.

Hello

(it's on disney hotstar?) A heartfelt romance of a boy and a girl's happenstance of a friendship. They cherish the short memories before they are torn apart from each other and years later, they meet each other without knowing who the other is.

8.

Oohalu Gusagusalaade

A romcom/comedy of errors where our protagonist has the bad luck of having to help his boss get a girl, only that girl turns out to be his first love. (I linked the movie available on youtube, it has english subtitles)

9.

English Vinglish

(not a romcom, so sorry, but it's a must watch with all the right emotions) Our protagonist is looked down upon by her family for not knowing English. When she goes abroad for her niece's wedding, she makes sure to learn the language that would make them consider her one of them.

10.

Dear Zindagi

(you can rent it on youtube or watch on netflix maybe?) more of a find-yourself film again, but this is so relatable and heartfelt... a successful cinematographer visits a psychologist for therapy and he helps her see her life in a new way. Starring Alia Bhatt and Shah Rukh Khan. Must watch Indian film

11.

Jab We Met

Honestly if you don't watch this, i have failed you. This is the story that basically defined 2/3rd of every desi girl's personality. Aditya is a suicidal millionaire with no hopes on life. He meets Geet, an over-enthusiastic girl with a peculiar outlook on fate. One missed train and a brothel later, his life turns for the better. (the songs HIT and so does the ship, it's just iconic, this is called positive romance)

12.

Nuvvu Naaku Nachav

(i have no idea where you can find it but when you do, i promise you the jokes are funny. they're the real telugu comedy if i may so) an unemployed Venky moves into his father's friend's house. It is here he starts falling for the friend's daughter, who might or might not be engaged. (no physical cheating)

13.

Barfi!

I saved the best for last😎 This masterpiece can be found on Netflix with english subtitles. It's a romcom/comedy of errors/fucking heartfelt love story. It will make you cry if you're engrossed. Barfi, a man who cannot hear or speak, meets his autistic childhood friend Rimjhim when he wants to kidnap her for money. (it is NOT stockholm syndrome) If you do not watch this movie, I might as well cry🥺🥺

So there you go, 12 more must watch/underrated desi movies. I'm assuming you're open to the Indian way of cinematography and aren't one of those who judge simply because it's different from what they're used to. These are the gems chosen out of a lot others💗hope you like them!

[mia-vita]

Extraordinary Attorney Woo Season Finale

As always, this episode didn't fail to make me laugh and at one point I felt so seen in this episode.

My highlights:

The Cat Analogy

(Jun Ho GIF by @namchyoon )

I FELT SO SEEN!!!

My cat hates me! I don't understand why since I got her when she was still a kitty, and I show nothing but love to her. 😌😒

I read in @freesiablooming post that the subtitles were wrong and Jun Ho said cat's butler no cat's owner. And that's what I call myself to my cat, I'm literally her servant.

She bites me first thing in the morning for her food if I wake up later than usual. If I don't feed her wet food for longer than I usually do she doesn't eat the dry food and lets me know by tapping me on my ankles with her sharp nails that she wants wet food. She ABSOLUTELY hates to be touched or seen by me. Lol if she is laying somewhere were she knows I can reach her she will move before I even walk by. If I grab her to hug her she would literally put her hands on my face or chest and push me away. I can go on and on about my cat signs of hate, but the point is that the analogy made me laugh because I related to it so deeply.

And I have thought sometimes about how lonely as a pet owner my cat makes me feel because I love her. I've had so many dogs and cats in my lifetime and they all loved me very much, so having her being like that towards me is a bit heartbreaking once in a while. But as Jun Ho, I still love her and she is mine until death do us part. I won't give her away and get another one just because she doesn't show me as much affection as I show her.

Also, when Woo said that cats love their owners, I questioned it a little for my case. Mine does come once in a while to be petted by me very late at "night", I'm talking like 3am, and I believe is because she feels lonely since everything is dark and off so I think that love is condinal. I don't know if she really appreciates all my hard work to keep her alive. Lol seriously, can you tell how good that analogy was for me.

The Brother

When the borther faced the mom telling her about Woo, I knew this episode was going to be great! I was like...

One thing, I do not consider Tae a bad mom for not wanting Woo. As a woman she had that right. My issue with her is the fact that she wanted to mess with her life after finding out she was her daughter. That was a big no no for me.

Jung

I loved when he tried to do the greeting ���� that was so cute and funny.

(Jung GIF by @iamacolor )

And also him trying to wink at Woo. I would have given up at the first wink honestly 😂

Kwon

Lol this dude, I don't know... like I don't like him, but it wasn't like I hated him, I found him annoying. When he tried to get Woo fired, that made me pissed.

Also, when he called Jung pretty I laughed so hard, hahaha 😂

And then him trying to be part of the group and trying to fist bump Woo, lol that was funny too.

He needs to still apologize tho, but I think he is on his way there, I think he was showing he is trying to grow up a little. Although, that conversation with Tae, telling her that if there was a time that Woo wants to quit was now, that was showing he was still an idiot in progress.So I don't know, I'm conflicted, we shall see in season 2 I guess. 😅

Jun Ho

This man is so CUTE! Seriously, that's the only word that comes out of my mouth every time he is in the screen and does one of his things. He is soooo damn cute!! And his smile is pure gold.

When he clinked the glass with Woo 🥰 I love how that's his thing now! He makes me melt honestly. I love romance and he is the epitome of it for me, that speech he did telling her why being with her makes him happy, that was beautiful.

For the final thoughts, I loved that the episode ended with her successfully doing the revolving door by herself. It made me emotional.

I want to say that the struggle from episode 13 on was real. But at the end the whale made it out to breath the air. I was a bit scared after episode 15 that the end wasn't going to be good but I am very glad I was wrong.

Do we need a Season 2?

Honestly, I don't think so. I would love to see all the relationships of the drama develope further but I am afraid that a second season won't be interesting enough. The beauty of KDramas for me is the fact that it's mostly one season. But I'll definitely see it anyways because I honestly have one question.

How does Hairy make money? 😅

Why my guy doesn't have customers? Do we need to do some advertising for you? Let us know.

[fromaliminalspace]

For the gif makers ask meme... 14, 16, 34, and 48?

[ask meme link]

14. How long does it usually take you to make a set

for real, while technically i can make a gifset within a day or a few, i have a nasty tendency to procrastinate everything, literally everything, even stuff i actually enjoy. and when i do get around to actually making sth i overthink it. sometimes for months. yup. lbr overthinking (alongside chronic lack of spoons) is the main reason i create stuff so rarely and post it even rarer even if i have it finished for a while. i'm trying to improve, okay..? just gonna kick myself more often into calling things finished and posting them, i literally have dozens of gifset ideas waiting to be executed, several art wips (as well as finished pieces), two videoedit ideas, and quite a few k words of both fic and meta… the tricky part is just to get around to all of it

16. How long have you been making gifs

oof lemme see… in June 2020 i made my first gifs that weren't completely horrible cuz before that i was using merely a phone app for this with video editing software (this and this were made this way). and then in February 2021 i finally figured out what was missing from my PS and preventing me from editing gifs there and fixed it. so yeah, i've been relatively new to this, i guess..? though ngl the experience of very spontaneously making two videoedits before trying out proper gifing was a nice starting point

34. A set that took you a long time/was really hard but you’re really proud of how it came out

hm the stardust one is the first that came to mind even though it's more the case of "it didn't receive as much attention as most my other cql gifsets but i'm still quite fond of it" rather than it being particularly time/effort-consuming. not to mention that i'm hardly ever actually proud of anything i create but well, that's just my brain cockroaches messing stuff up. back on track, the WWX gifs in the trust parallel set were a pain to edit but eventually i ended up learning new tricks while groping my way around it so i'm not complaining

okay, if i were really to pick a gifset i'm proud of that'd be the ripples one, no doubts (gonna add the link once i actually finish and post it, i promise). it's the most advanced technically (don't even ask me how long i've been nitpicking it from all directions and how i'm still tempted to drop the current version in favor of approaching it from a whole new direction bc surely it can be done way way better if i just go nitpick it some more! ya know, the usual overthinking) and it's sth very personal to me thematically. the underlying meaning of it is too closely related to liminal spaces (or more like what i simplify as "liminal spaces" as i suspect my own understanding of this concept in general can differ quite a bit from that of other people) so putting it into actual words gets tricky. but this kinda comes with the territory so nothing unusual

48. How would you describe your giffing style

ugh honestly idek if i have one..? for real, i don't think there's anything about my gifs that makes them stand out much. at least there surely isn't anything that i deliberately make sure to integrate every single time (maybe i do unconsciously though, who knows). so i feel like it's more for others to judge ¯_(ツ)_/¯

what i can say is that when i do make gifsets i apparently tend to illustrate some narrative parallels or sth with them..? or just combine scenes with a quote that strikes me with fitting vibes. or both. also i like to have fun with the colors and lighting and use adjustment layers quite heavily (but gotta admit it's hardly an option to halfass this if i wanna my Yi City gifs to look vibrant and alive enough). i suppose alternative subtitles to all my cql sets are a feature of my so called style as well since i always translate them myself instead of going the easy way and copying any of the already existing ones. which is also fun! even if, well, adds to the amount of time and spoons i put into it but what can i say, it's a matter of habit by now

[sugar-petals]

Hey Caro ☺️ I just took your super m quiz - thanks for making such a fun quiz, I feel like it helped me get into super m! I know nothing about them yet but I thought it fit soo well that I got Kai bc I’m a full time dancer - now you have me super curious about him 👀👀

KAI :: INTRODUCTION MASTERPOST (dance focus)

so you wanna know about the god of k-pop choreo? oh yeah, i’ll talk to you about fucking kai! if you dance, this guy is the #1 must-know. once you see him move, there’s no going back. i don’t exaggerate: kai is the gold standard. brace yourselves, i’ll show you why.

kim kai aka kim jongin (27) is a solo artist and super m’s plus exo’s main dancer — est 2019 and 2012 respectively — heading either group with a passionate, hyper-physical style that roots in his early practice of of jazz dance and ballet. the influence definitely shows. 

learning choreography, he’s become the gorgeous fusion of emotional grace and explosive power that unites both tension and extreme accuracy. while at the same time: never sacrificing his interpretation. and HOW MUCH HE BLEEDS FOR HIS CRAFT. he enjoys it so much. 

and he’s communicating it 100%, jongin’s dance is so interactive and raw, luring. i swear to god, put the seatbelts on for this one. it’s never just him, it’s you as well. you’ve never seen this before. he’s like “yes, i meant you, i’m looking at you”:

he’s even gonna modify the choreography to point right at you to underline that very thought. he’s so good, he can learn it, ace it, epitomize it, and do his own thing anyway. even the person in the last row will get whatever point kai wants to make. this is dance that belongs on the biggest stages.

even when he films without a crowd, it’s like you’re literally standing opposite to him. he focuses on two people: his moves, and the viewer. he has it look like you made him smile and self-aware, or you made him determined. INCREDIBLE. he shows his charisma, BUT he also shows your own (!) impact on him. it’s a duet. he wants you to join him on the dancefloor. this is from exo’s call me baby mv where kai does his famous come-hither:

he flirts and he encourages. he values the audience and wants them to be confident as well. i think it’s the reason why he’s so outstanding and addictive, kai thinks beyond himself. it’s a tango he involves you in with his eyes and how he opens his body, interprets a lyric.

it’s not about imposing himself going one way. instead: he plays the back and forth ALL. THE. TIME. in any context. whether it be frivolous, or fun, or gloomy, or sweet. even with a simple little smiley wink it’s happening. and he acts like you had a reaction to it. there’s literally just a camera.

this guy’s physique, strength, elegance, feeling for the beat, character portrayal (!), and control is unbelievable. he’s destroyed it in every fancam out there. he can’t switch it off even if he tried. your eyes would go toward him in the largest group formation still. put him in the center, that’s his spot, he showcases it.

because he doesn’t just show learned moves, he makes it radiate something dynamic and animalistic (he embodies superm’s ‘tiger inside’ all the way). 

jongin’s dance says: i love this, you love this, let’s do this, the feeling is right. he makes bodies and unrestrained touch the opposite of wrong, he pronounces it a source of having fun and being instinctual. and he never breaks the tie with you throughout, and uses his shoulders and lips to put the oomph into it. 

he uses innuendo and a ‘we both know’ sentiment perfectly as an invitation rather than just going through his routine. that’s how he can make each move fascinating. you can tell kai knows exactly how to make everyone scream their lungs out. i bet somebody held their breath just reading this post already.

exo’s most famous choreo is ‘monster’ (kai focus linked) with good reason: jongin can turn himself into nothing short of a roaring beast. it’s one sharp, complex move after the other. kai can bend any gravitational law he wants to show any feeling and pose he wants. a glimpse:

now, how to spot him in general if you’re new to him? here are some pointers. kai’s execution is clean, fast, and powerful. those are two decades (!) of experience showing. kai is an all or nothing dancer, he plays no games. he treats every group and solo stage like his best and last. his work ethic is beyond words. yeah, he’s a capricorn. his style is direct as can be, working every axis.

as you can see, jongin is hard to overlook anyway: he’s a 182cm giant made of steel. he strives to acutely visualize impact in his style and it is always successful. in fact, it’s his signature. it’s like he creates invisible objects and pushes through them. boom, he just burst another bubble.

when the song gets to his part, i guarantee you won’t miss him and all the boldness and expression he brings to enrich the performance. hell... he carries it. jongin can handle the center, i’m telling you. (look how fast he rotates here)

talking features — this is what to look for when he dances in a group setting: you can recognize kai’s face by how wide, bluntly structured and sensual it is. jongin is a sight. he has such an aura, serious, sultry, and smiling alike.

with a very recognizable silhouette (like... holy hell!):

he’s very cute as well ♡ the fandom and kai himself have an adorable analogy going on. jongin calls himself a teddy/nini bear and we joined in on it. (i made a thread about it here, it talks more about his offstage life) — hence kai’s fans are called eri-gom, eris as in exo’s fanbase and gom meaning bear. 

and i mean. look at him. what an attractive guy. he’s that handsome. strong brows, teddy eyes, square jaw, swept hair, glorious lips, tan skin. 

now yes, something important concerning his appearance and a serious topic: i don’t want to list you the endless instances of colorism that kai has to endure but it has to be mentioned. jongin has been called every name in the book and people agonize him over his skin incessantly. it goes on and on and on. every day a new terrible comment about him emerges because some pitiful person thought it was funny and would elevate them. 

he’s had to deflect, ignore, reframe, defend, remotivate, assert, harden, prove, denounce, and push himself, protect his confidence, decline skin bleaching constantly, laugh along, dance and practice thrice as hard to get the respect, and still see his dignity torn to pieces all day. i’ll just give it to you straight, that’s all fucked up. kai’s skin is perfect, he’s amazing and wonderful. 

in his own words:

— exactly right. say it even louder.

having him at the bottom of every joke is weird and messed up. this man is an utter beauty and nothing has to be fixed. it is up to him to define himself rather than get called ugly for his skin’s appearance by default, and get whitewashed at every opportunity. it’s been going on for 27 years, he scrunitizes himself all the time and doesn’t look at himself fondly because he hears these beatdowns daily.

it’s heartbreaking that this happens literally with no end in sight (’kai is just a stripper!’... ‘he has bad vibes’... ‘darkest guy jongin!’). for his skin, and how he decides to show it, too. jesus christ his skin looks fantastic, end of debate. they just can’t handle him, kai couldn’t be any more immaculate.

♡

jongin has vigorously protected fans from discrimination, bullies, and shaming himself whenever it came up. in a very straightforward and deadpan manner because he knows exactly how it damages you. (”J” in the subtitles = jongin, he’s wearing the plain white top at the very back)

we need to protect and praise him that way right back. it’s important.

so, needless to say. all in for jongin getting the center stage he deserves. because he has the wow factor in every regard. kai usually opens an MV because there’s no better way to get people’s attention with that level of presence. with kai, you can’t go wrong. if you get the center in a an all star group like superm, you are the king.

being part of that presence, kai’s stage alter ego has reached levels of infamity you can’t even imagine. it’s great to see him being sovereign without apology.

and it doesn’t stop there. he shows time and again that acting, props, and commanding the audience has to be mastered to be an exceptional dancer. kai owns his sex appeal. sometimes, he even dances a portion of choreo with his eyes closed because he’s feeling it so much.

he is a pro in using his surroundings as well, superm’s stages are a glorious opportunity for kai to show how he comfortably ‘lives in’ the 3D space around him.

which makes the viewer do the same: watching kai makes you feel amazing, energized, but also serene and enjoying the moment. 

there’s always balance. it’s the magic of it. e.g. he comes along with so much impetus and decisiveness but eventually, he halts to offer himself. here i am — take me. i’m yours. closed arms, open arms. walking, kneeling. looking down, looking up.

kai goes every extra mile there ever was and makes each eye contact count. involving the audience, one grin at a time. it works. it’s about establishing contact. he connects to the onlooker with so much nuance. 

kai’s smirk is notorious and you can see why it’s so raw and real: he makes it linger. it’s such a duality since his dancing says i’ll come over, while his message is come and get me, i know what’s on your mind.

with a hilarious twist – kai expertly uses humor. you don’t get that in many dancer repertoires. i love it. all those quick expression changes. his smile! 😊 what a man.

so — what makes him so good and known: yes, his style doesn’t deny that dancing and eroticism are one in his business. that takes courage. kai has it. iconic performances have been his reward. point dance/killing part: exo’s love shot choreo. 

that suit has swept the nation. what’s more: kai shows you it’s more than just good hip movement that a good dancer needs. he does everything at once, he puts the pleasure on his face, all his limbs are following the template he chooses.

the thing is. kai couldn’t be any shyer, but when the music starts he becomes a oscar-winning madman. he emotes constantly (!) and stays in character. this is gold.

jongin always plays it up. he knows how to use that face and does a lot of power posing. this is how visceral looks like. he’s interpreted exo’s aggressive concepts to a T.

and he has so. much. fun. it propels him. on every beat.

past every hurt, heartbreak and injury, man. if you know about his genre you knew this was coming, kai does all of that with 4 herniated discs. since debut days, never recovered. every gif in this thread, he dances with a battered spine. wheelchairs, stage collapses, relapse-recovery-schedule tales, the dilemma of injuries being inevitable, limping, kai falling into depression during breaks, constant pain killers, countless tears on stage, we’ve seen it all, the extreme end of it. 

kai works out like hell to literally keep his body from falling apart. but it doesn’t help the nerves in his back that are impacted. doing choreo you can sometimes literally see the pain kicking in and he pulls himself through with force for the last minute. once you know how strained his back is, you can see it.

at the end his expression goes fuck now it’s coming when the adrenaline fades. he takes every second-pause he gets to rest but still finishes each move. even when he holds back, he keeps it together and executes each turn. sometimes, he has to restrict himself and soften his movements to protect his health (especially in hard choreographies such as lucky one which is universally disliked by exo — still jongin makes the very best of it smiling bright and dancing so hard his sleeves come off).

he frequently states he ‘dances in any case unless his legs are affected by something’. all torso injuries are fair game, this guy is hardcore. and people claim he’s just pretending. chen (a fellow exo member) says not a single part of jongin’s body is intact. he has paid every price to get this far to follow his love. he’ll step on stage with crutches. he works SO HARD.

that being said: exo being called the official nation’s group, i say kai is the nation’s dancer. period. he has had his great moment at the korean olympics flawlessly dancing in a hanbok with traditional instruments and fulfilling his dream. 

i love the tension and drama he can bring. he can also thrill with slow, vulnerable movements alike.

kai’s is called a legend, he’s all that and even more. the facial expressions alone are feared by any kai stan because they hit home. 

this guy is a sex icon and goes off like a gun, messing around was never kai’s incentive. 

while at the same time being incredibly nuanced and so, so descriptive with his movements.

point dance: baby don’t cry. yep, kai has danced in water. must-watch.

this man loves what he is doing. he said he wouldn’t regret to die on stage because dancing is his destiny. boy, it shows. this guy has found his purpose. he can tell any story he wants. he’s a complete artist.

he’s perfectly portraying his incentive and he couldn’t look any more like a god on earth.

long story short, kai is dance and motivation goals. if you dance professionally, you can easily look toward him for the right words.

if you want to further your study and knowledge: he released a self-titled solo album recently. highly recommended. he worked forever on it, and he’s really dishing it on there. you get to hear his soft voice plus sizzling footwork. and he isn’t even getting started yet. you’ll hear from kai, i promise. he constantly achieves new levels of artistic perfection.

a last remark. jongin is amazing for a myriad of reasons that go beyond what i show you here given the post focuses on his work on stage. but the point stands, while other people have tried to break him, he broke through every barricade instead and stood up for himself. we can be extremely happy to have him and witnessing his unreal dance is an exceptional pleasure. here’s to jongin continuing his passion and confidence, healing, and getting the sweeping respect and acknowledgement that is his.

[deepbutdazzlingdarkness]

first of all, where/how have you been tracking what you've watched? *eyes emoji* second, #1, #8, #9, and #20!

First of all, lmaooo it’s def not the most efficient way, but I literally just have a Google Doc where I tracked the movies and TV shows (by episode/date) I watched, with a separate list for stuff I rewatched. I used to have some website I used, but it was mostly to just tell me when shows were airing rather than to track them.

1. How many new TV shows did you start/watch this year?

Oh jeez lol. It looks like 95 (!), although some of those are miniseries rather than on-going shows, so I’m not sure they count.

8. A ship that finally got (back) together this year

Michael and Alex on Roswell: New Mexico!! I think that’s the only ongoing show I’ve been watching where a ship I love got together, rather than me binging and it happening that way.

Oooooh though actually it looks like Eve and Maze got together this year as well so them too!!!!! They got together and then got married!!!

9. A ship you’d like to finally see get together next year.

I said this already, but I’m hoping Dick and Kory get together next season of Titans! Also,,, hoping against hope that Shadow and Bone changes the book ending and has Darklina get together lol. It doesn’t have to be endgame but they’re so much more interesting than Mal/Alina, especially based on what I’ve heard about the books.

20. A TV show you’ve stopped watching this year.

Ha I guess I should have saved my answer about The Resident from the last post for this question! Although rather than me stop watching, it’s more like I read about those actresses leaving and decided not to catch up.

Otherwise, I’ll say Word of Honor. We actually got pretty far! Episode 18 looks like, and I do like the main characters’ relationship but everything else about it is…so boring, especially given that you have to pay complete attention and read the subtitles.

Also, Medici, an absolutely bonkers show with Richard Madden.

So, the accents are ALL over the place, Richard Madden has a vaguely (aka BAD) British-y accent, it filmed in Italy, so a lot of the actors are Italian, and then there’s Dustin Hoffman is playing his dad who has some sort of New York-y Italian accent even tho it’s set in 1409 in Florence?? Richard Madden is also playing both 20 and 40 & the only changes they made to make him look different is that he had long hair in the flashbacks and eyeliner and a little gray streak in the present. The actor playing his son in the present is only one year younger than him.

Meanwhile his character is apparently not supposed to be gay but in the first episode there’s a 10 minute scene of him meeting Donatello and flirting and straight up ogling drawings of literally naked men and 10 minutes after that they’re like no he really wants to (and does) bang one of Donatello’s female models. And he gets married eventually but literally 100% hates his wife. At one point she gets him exiled rather than killed & he’s like “I will never forgive you” and he DOESN’T.

All that to say, it was an extremely entertaining watch, we finished the whole first season in a couple of days and it was amazing to heckle, but in season 2 it jumps ahead like 20 years and is now starring Isaac from Teen Wolf as his character’s grandson and we were like meh and stopped there. 😂