#i literally love you for sending this in im so sorry this is incoherent im in hell

[sh1-n0bu]

♡︎ 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 ♡︎

characters: AFAB!sub!jing yuan, dan heng, blade x gn!dom!reader

warnings: AFAB characters, overstimulation, headcannon+small drabble format, praise, degrading, cock/strap traditions, dacryphilia, usage of bullet vibrator, slight brat taming, nipple stimulation, fingering, oral, cervix fucking, begging, squirting, clit pinching, cock/strap warming, size kink, belly bulge, breeding, creampie, mating press, full nelson, just a personal headcannon of how i think they would act when overstimulated

notes: someone wrote “nobody writes ahegao quite like nobu does” in one of their repost tags and im fucking shitting tears😭😭

the giggler

jing yuan loves to be overstimulated. he loves the feeling of it, the adrenaline rush, the high, the feeling of finally cumming all over your fingers, tongue, strap whatever it may be and the feeling of you continuing to move, drawing out his orgasm while also driving him into an overstimulated mess

has the cutest giggles and laughs when he gets too much pleasure. he doesn’t even try to hide or won’t even try to hide it. why would he when you were making him feel so good over and over again? hell, he even wants other people to hear it, to remind them that you were his lover and only his. and how only he gets to feel the overwhelming amount of pleasure only you can bring to him and no one else

but, it comes with a catch. he needs a lot of foreplay and/or teasing and/or orgasm denial for him to finally cave in and shake his head before starting to blabber incoherent shit about how good your cock feels inside his gushing pussy, how he could feel your tip fucking his cervix, how he wanted you to fuck a baby inside him etc etc

and i mean a LOT of it

as a centuries old war hardened general, it’s safe to say that he had gotten used to some feelings and emotions. pleasure being one of them

so if you want to get him to break and to become absolutely dumb and drunk on lust and pleasure, you have to tease him a lots before getting into it. if not, he will somehow find a way to outsmart you and take the reigns. he’s a bit of a brat and a spoiled prince wrapped up into one after all

will tell you what to do and how to do it if you have failed in getting him needy in your foreplay. he will fist your hair and thrust his hips into your mouth, making you unable to breath for a moment or two with his clit right at your nose. will push you down and flip your positions so he could ride your face, all the while chuckling at your cute attempt to push him back down. a goddamn brat and he will show it to the fullest when you fail at your foreplay

did i mention he was a brat? well now i have. a fucking brat to the max and he isn’t ashamed of it. will definitely question your power in the bedroom, try to overpower you and he will. he literally swings a 7000kg glaive in one hand like its nothing and he will show it by throwing you around. gently and consensually of course, he wouldn’t want to hurt his beloved

but fully expect him to be cocky and devious. “can you say no to my pretty pussy?”, “so sleepy. oh sorry, i didn’t know your cock was inside me hehe”, “was that all?” you get the gist. will shamelessly yawn in the middle of fucking not because he is sleepy or tired, but simply because he is a brat. a goddamn brat

so, how can you get him to be needy and won’t make him go into his bratty side? simple. shove a long distance controlled vibrator inside his cunt and leave it there for the whole day for him to suffer at work. but if you’re going to do that, be sure to mute the ringtone for your phone for the day since he will call you, send you messages, pictures, videos every damn hour. the closer his hour for shift ending comes, the more frequent the buzzing of your phone will become because he will grow much more needier

when finally he’s back home and frantically pawing at your pants when barely through the doors, that’s when you know he had absolutely no intention of being a brat. how can he when his whole pants were slowly getting stained from his multiple orgasms?

when he’s gladly bending himself over, arching his back for you as he wiggles his hips, he will ask you to come inside. jing yuan is great with kids and such a huge family man, he will ask you over and over repeatedly to breed him. cum inside him, fill up his cute dripping cunt, put him in whatever position you want and make sure to breed his pretty cunt, you can finally raise your own family together!

remember the long distance controlled vibrator i mentioned? make sure to keep it on and buzzing inside his cunt at all times when he’s away at work, or else it won’t work. during meetings or report hearings, jing yuan had to leave to the bathroom a lot of times and it genuinely got his subordinates concerned for his health. the red face, the heavy breathing and sometimes, the jolts of his body or the bleeding bruised lips of his made the cloud knights worry and some even suggested for him to leave the seat of divine foresight early to look after his health. if only they knew just how their dearest general was pathetically biting on his hand to muffle his screams in the bathroom as he squirted all over himself

“[naaammeee], ‘m mmgh♡︎! aaaaangh haah mngck♡︎♡︎ i-i’m home!” jing yuan’s voice called out, weak mewls of pleasure slipping through as he collapsed onto the floor the moment the doors of your shared home was closed. desperately humping the floor, trying to push the vibrator deeper into his gushing pussy, your lover didn’t realize that you were leaning against the wall of the kitchen, watching him with a knowing smile. there was a wet patch growing in his usual red pants, growing more and more the further he humped the air in desperation. see? your tough brat was so easy to tame.

“you feeling okay, darling?” you call out, taking out the controlled from your pants pocket and messing with the switch. flipping it up, down, up to the highest level, before going to the lowest level. it was cute to see the ever so tough brat turn into a delirious mess from just a single small toy. all because he was being so stubborn about how you weren’t the boss of him. walking over to where he was kneeling on the floor, you reach your free hand out. tilting his head up, a thumb swiping away at the drool that was beginning to pool on his lower lip, you tilt your head to the side, asking the question again with a firm hold onto his chin.

“n-no…! no no no, not at aamgh♡︎♡︎ h-hhaaaggm not at all♡︎!” he shakes his head viciously, dragging out his words and tripping over them with moans and mewls falling in between. pathetically, he tugs on the hem of your pants, trying to get to his favorite treat, the one thing he’s been missing this whole day.

“n-need you… need you right now, need your—♡︎♡︎! need yo-our..! c-cock right now...♡︎!” jing yuan mutters between whimpers, finally, his shaky hands manage to pull down your pants and undergarments just enough to have your strap out. a needy whine falling as he places slobbering wet kisses on the tip, giving it a few licks as he flutters his lashes at you in an effort to manipulate you to give him what he was non-verbally asking.

knowing full well that he wouldn’t take no for an answer and that yanqing might come home soon, you drag him up to his feet — an action that was heavily protested against as jing yuan cries out after his favorite treat being taken away. once inside the comfort of your shared bedroom, by the time you have locked the door behind you, he was already naked. clothes messily strewn on the floor and on the bed, the many orgasm’s slick dripping down his puffy cunt to his ass and to the bedsheets eventually. you could see the light trembling of his pussy lips, an action caused by the vibrator fucking away inside him still.

turning the vibrator off, you take the toy out of his puffy cunt. jing yuan let out a drawn out mewl at the feeling, clenching around nothing as he tries to replace the empty feeling for something, anything. but seeing you starting to strip, he knew what he wanted. and he knew how he wanted it.

spreading his legs open further, his hand comes down, flicking at his enlarged clit with a jolt before spreading open his labia for you to take in how he was already so needily wet and dripping for you. a drunk giggle escaping him when the tip of your cock is right against his folds, wiggling his hips enticingly.

“[nnaameeee]~ you gotta fuck a baby in me this time, owhkayyy?♡︎♡︎ hehehe♥︎”

the crybaby

the cutest out of all three of them, in my personal opinion

he just gets overstimmed so easily and quickly, it’s adorable in the way that he brokenly begs for a moment of respite. legs shaking, smaller body jolting violently at the smallest of touches like your hand ghosting over his hardened nipples. don’t even get me started on the way he cutely squeals out loud when you pinch his clit augh

maybe it’s due to his nature as a vidyadhara and not a full human but every little touch is received with so much sensitivity and sensuality, it gets so easy to turn him into a blabbering mess in record time. push his smaller body against the wall and finger his gushing pussy while rolling your thumb over his clit. in no time, his legs are shaking as he bites your hand, his orgasm washing over him quickly and violently. but don’t just stop there, keep flicking at his clit, pinch it, tug on it, push a hand on the small bulge on his belly and he’ll be left sobbing by the second or third round

he’s noticeably smaller than the other two and it carries out into his size kink so well. he just wants to be pushed around and put into impossible, near painful positions and man-handled until he’s left a blabbering idiot

make him cockwarm you while asking him to read you a story or a book under the guise that you had a nightmare and can’t fall asleep without his soothing voice and soft cunny wrapped around your cock. at first he’ll huff and puff, saying that you’re a liar and just wants to fuck him. four or five pages in and his voice is already strained, whines coming out as hiccups and sniffles follow soon after

but just because he’s a crybaby doesn’t mean he’s an idiot. he knows how much you love his pretty steel grey eyes unfocused and hazy, brimming with tears and he will use that to his advantage. will make sure to play with his nipples or push down on the bulge in his tummy when cockwarming you so he could get teary eyed quicker. the moment he sniffles and grinds himself down on you, he knows you’re a goner and would give him what he wants

he may be a crybaby, but he’s also a goddamn minx so beware of that

tugs on your sleeve so cutely, looking at you with a flushed face and stuttered words to ask you if you wanna spend time with him in his room. today’s trailblazing expedition was too long and tiring after all, “surely you would enjoy some cuddles…?” or “i just wanted to help you patch up your wounds. i was just worried”

yeah sure, dan heng. just say that you wanna get fucked until you’re squealing out like a slut with fat tears running down your cute red cheeks. thank the aeons the express’ walls are thick and soundproof. if not, who knows the amount of noise complaint you would have gotten from everyone

has slight oral fixation. slightly. but that’s only because he wants to see you crumble and give into his non-verbal demands and just ruin him. he’s a bit too shy to ask directly after all

long serpentine tongue wrapping around your strap, pulling it into his mouth. will gag and choke so loudly with the tip of the fat dildo pushed right down his throat, hitting his uvula and choking his throat. he can complain about sore throats and pained jaws all he wants but you both know that he loves to suckle on your strap with tears filling his eyes

the most messiest cock sucker and that’s saying something bc blade is the one who has the biggest oral fixation out of the three of them. he’ll place wet kisses to the weeping tip of your cock, running the slitted snake like tongue over the weeping slit of your cock teasingly before wrapping it around your dick. loves the scent and the taste of your pre, basically addicted to it as he opens his mouth wider, slipping your cock inside the warm cavern of his mouth inch by inch

but be aware that he will also try to take advantage of this position. he will try to bat his lashes at you so he can continue suckling on your strap like he would be sucking on a lolipop, all under the guise to ‘make you happy’. when in reality, he would try to make you cum over and over to try and get you overstimulated. when in such position, just fist his hair and fuck his throat. gets him crying in no time like the crybaby he is

“… bamboo whispers in the w-wind, a secret pa-aaangh! aah aaah hmgk♡︎ a s-secret pa-act... ♡︎!“ the soothing voice of your lover drawls out into a weak sniffle, hands gripping the book filled with love poetry from his home planet tightly. so tight, you feared that he might just tear the book apart with his claws. you had crawled into his bed yet again to torment him today, the dildo hitting all the sensitive spots in his gushing cunt, dan heng couldn’t help but weakly whine when your hands around his waist tightens to not let him move.

“go on. i’m listening” you coo out, forcing him to stay still on your lap while his voice continue to drawl out. sniffles and broken pleads replacing his ever so stoic mask, a voice that is usually so cold and distant, always scolding other turning into one of mindless blabber about how badly he wanted your strap to fuck his pussy. you couldn’t help but laugh.

“is that what it says on the pages? i may be still learning the strokes but the next line seems to be the stroke for two” you point at the kanji on the book he was holding in his shaking hands, the strokes of the language seeming familiar to you. it was an easy kanji to read after all. yet not to your boyfriend it seems.

“please! p-please please move! i beg you, [n-naamee]♡︎ you gotta fuck meeh♡︎ you gotta fuck me you gotta fuck me— you have to fuck meeegck—♡︎♡︎!!” dan heng squeals, shaking thighs bucking down onto your dick, trying to gain some friction. it was enough, he had read you hundreds of love poetries from his home planet. he had been taking your pronged torture for long enough, please just fuck his cunt already!

“so impatient” you huff, putting the book away with a book marker tucked between the pages before hooking your hands under his knees. pulling him up and over until dan heng was left wailing at the sudden change in position. hooking your arms under his knees, his legs are left dangling in the air with nothing to support himself but for his hands to cling to your biceps. even then, he couldn’t hold for long as he jolts about in your arms like a hopping bunny, painting your dildo in his cum when the tip kissed his cervix.

“guuchk♥︎!! d-deep! aah ah naahmg haah t-too deep♡︎♡︎ [n-name] you’re f-fucckk fuck fuck—♡︎♥︎ fucking my cerviinxx my ceerrvv—♡︎♡︎ mngh unngya♥︎!” punched out sobs comes from his pretty lips, drawling out into whiny cries when you move him up and down. you could see the bulge in his tummy appear and disappear every little moment. every jolt, every gasp, every little whiny cry making the bulge in his tummy to get more detailed. he was so adorably small.

“‘m sorry, darling. i’m sorry, didn’t mean it. didn’t mean to fuck you this deep” you coo out apologies, lifting him just a bit so your strap won’t sink so deep to the point it would kiss his cervix. as much as you loved your crybaby gasping and writhing, you didn’t want the reason for such reaction to be pain.

claws scratching at every inch of skin he could touch, jaw slack open in a silent scream, you could barely make out his shrill yell of what appears to be your name when dan heng squirts over your cock after just a few thrusts. you could see the overflowing amount of cum just dripping down your cock, trailing down to your legs and staining the mattress. with a click of your tongue, you pinched his clit, making the shorter man sniffle with a squeal.

“‘m soowryyy… sorry sorry—♡︎ d-didn’t mean to be bad... s-soowwh uunhg hyaagk ungc gugcck—♥︎♥︎!!”

the hissy bitch

alright, so i know i’m going into territory that has been charted way too many times before by blade lovers standard but he def has piercings. on his nipples, tongue and on his clit. probably got the first three by losing a drunk bet or something or maybe he just wanted it but the last one, the clit one, is definitely his latest piercing. one that he got after his relationship with you began and he had made the sudden rash decision to get one so he could see your reaction and to feel you just messing with it while fucking him

there is a REASON why he always keeps his chest bandaged up. there is a goddamn reason and that reason is his nipple piercings and the fact that his chest is generally very sensitive im being delusional

so what does that bring and why have i specified it? simple. titty fucking. nipple stimulation. seeing his pretty big, round chest jiggle every time your cock sinks back into his dripping cunt. pinch it, roll it, tug on them, suckle on them, do anything to him with his nipple piercing and he’s scratching at your back, mauling it like an animal

the reason i see him as a hissy bitch is because he likes to throw small temper tantrums when he gets too overstimulated. he’s crying, begging, hitting your shoulders, back, scratching at them and leaving deep red scratch marks, perhaps even breaking the skin sometimes. how come blade get overstimulated quickly? because he is very touch deprived. he’s been alone and immortal for too damn long and his ass is fucking touch starved. i just know it in my bones

genuinely, he is indeed very touch starved. since his rebirth as an immortal, he had felt nothing but pain, anguish and suffering and therefore, has basically gotten immune to touches. especially the violent and bloody ones. but gentle, tender, affectionate ones? find him jumping away from your soft hands like a frightened cat, it’s goddamn heartbreaking. so when he finally gets his cunt fucked, blade would be overstimmed too fast due to receiving a sudden abundance of affection and touches

will shake his head ‘no’ when asked if you would wanna stop due to his tears. you were just concerned but blade didn’t wanted this onslaught of pleasure to stop. desperately rides your fingers, mouth, strap — anything. loves the feeling of being on top of you, gives him the slight feeling of being in control. until it all gets thrown out the window when you force him to stop bouncing, hands gripping his hips tightly as a warning. will whine and try to grind down, trying to chase that high again but will only end up with a pout and hissy tears falling down his cheeks

another one who loves the feeling of being stuffed full and overstimulated. it’s almost like he gets high from the feeling. loves having his pussy fucked in any way you please until he can’t stay on his hands or feet without shaking. it’s just so cute to see him shaking like a fawn when fucking him doggy style

prepare to have yourself used as a chew toy as well as a scratcher. blade’s almost like a cat, hissy and whiny but also so greedy and preferring certain things in certain manner. will bite at your shoulders, hands, fingers to muffle himself but also to try and get his shit together. will scratch at your back, thighs, wherever he could reach. such a spoiled brat

when eating him out, be sure to give an extra care and love to his clit piercing. constantly flicking it with your tongue would usually work though, gets his legs all shaky and jolty soon enough. maybe pair it with flicking his pierced nubs and bladie will be squirting into your mouth with an embarrassing high pitched shriek. make sure to clean up all of his mess before diving right back into his gushing cunny. he may not say it but he will expect you to go back to eating him out like he’s your last meal

has the BIGGEST oral fixation out of the three of them. like, down bad, delicious, scrumptious, sloppy oral fixation. and he is happy to give it 90% of the times due to his tongue piercing. knows how good it makes you feel and how you like to see his pretty face between your legs, sucking on the large dildo like his life depends on it. not a single thought or a single moment of choking from him, it’s almost like he doesn’t have a gag reflex

you just came back from mission, from being away from him even for a single day? unacceptable. let him bend over for you, you can get your stress out by fucking his already dripping wet pussy. too tired? that’s fine. take of your pants and get comfortable cuz’ he can stay between your legs for days

not a single minute of respite has greeted you ever since you came back from your latest mission, stepping foot into your shared home with your stoic lover. perhaps the single gentle kiss to your cheek before he started to leave slobbering wet kisses on your lips was the only warning and moment of rest you have gotten. not even shoes off yet and blade was already unbuckling your belt, giving you the puppy eyes and grumbling about how you’ve been away for too damn long. whining about how much he missed you and needed your strap to fuck him dumb. how his pretty pussy had missed you so much.

“n-nnghyaa♡︎♡︎ m-missed you... missed you s’ much, [name]! f-fuck me fuck me fuck me, fuck your favorite cunt gyyuck—♥︎♥︎ a-aaanh! haah ah ah mmngk—♡︎♥︎!!” unusually docile red eyes roll to the back of his skull, jaw going slack wide open as you push his legs up, feeling your strap hit him deeper than he thought was possible. he could feel your weight push him down, keeping it still on the bed and to stop him from wiggling his hips entirely. this new position caused his cat like pupils to widen, turning into heart shapes as you chuckle at the dazed look in his eyes.

“such a needy brat” you coo out in a condescending manner, pushing his legs up in the air with your hands hooked under his knees to keep him in place. pulling out until halfway out, you sink back into blade’s dripping cunt. a squeal tearing from his throat alongside the filthy wet squelch of his cunt tightening around your dildo. it was so easy to get him dumb.

“t-too nngh much! too muchtoomuchtoomuch♡︎! fucking m-my womb—♡︎ [n-name], y-youuwrr crush— crushing my wombgg aangh ah ah! gyyuck eengh aaangh nyaagh♥︎♥︎!!” the familiar feeling of his nails scratching at your arms takes place, tearing at the skin, clawing at any part of your body he can come in contact with. a desperate attempt to ground his already long gone mind, too deep into the throes of pleasure that he didn’t even realize his shaking hands were weakly pulling your hips to fuck deeper into his warm walls.

“don’t be so dramatic, bladie. i won’t be able to crush your womb in this position” you coo out mockingly, wiping away the fat globs of tears that continue to pour of his eyes. red and yellow eyes rolled to the back of his skull, wide open mouth letting out the most salacious squeals and shrieks of your name and how you were fucking his womb falling out. legs weakly dangling in the air, jolting and bristling at every deep thrust you fuck into his velvety walls. the lewd wet squelching noises were alongside your grunts and blade’s whiny sobs were the only noise in the room. you would probably get noise complaints the next morning due to blade’s loudmouthed blabbering self.

letting go of one of his legs, you shove your fingers into his mouth. almost as if it was an instinct, blade’s tongue wet your fingers. suckling on the two digits as it his life depended on it with the most cutest heart shaped pupils staring at you. once you deemed them wet enough, you take your fingers out of his mouth. an action that blade showed his hatred towards as his pierced tongue comes past his lips, trying to chase after your fingers.

“gghcck—♡︎♥︎♥︎♥︎!!” a sharp wail taking place as blade arches his back, his whole body shaking, soft big tits jiggling when you pinched at his pierced clit. rolling, tugging, flicking at the hardened nub as blade sobs about cumming before drenching your cock with his squirting. you had thought of him to be satisfied with it, but turns out you have underestimated your lover’s neediness when his strong scarred thighs comes to wrap around your waist, legs locked behind your back when you tried to pull out.

sigh… it’s times like this that makes you glad for your amount of stamina.

[sixosix]

END NOTE | THAWED

a little love letter to my readers

to start off, i know that the series is based off the entire reputation album, but i like to think that this whole series was written around call it what you want.

how it started LMFAOOO

This was previously titled ‘melt’ before i was like ‘nah ill make it, like, thaw” and earthtooz went, “Thawed?” little did earth know,, that name would literally take over my docs,,, my tags,,, my ENTIRE account

A message to my readers: From the bottomest bottom of my heart, if you have reached this series until the very end, thank you so, so much for reading. Read that sentence again. And again, until you realize how grateful I truly am as a writer. Thawed is such a big project that I still can’t believe I was able to even start. I genuinely never thought it would garner this much attention, and in all honestly, I was intimidated by it, because I had no idea what I was doing, and I was afraid I would disappoint.

This entire project was intimidating, and I considered so many times to just drop it and end it on chapter five. I struggled so badly to write after I introduced the characters, and I thought: “well, that’s it. I guess it was fun.” I even told my friends that I would do that; and yet 14 chapters later, look at where we are now 😭

Writing it was so exhausting. Working on a series while studying as a student really makes it difficult to remember details about my own story T__T I had to reread Thawed so many times to the point where I don’t even like it anymore.

But I know the reason why I decided to continue it! It sounds so horribly cliche, but it’s true. It’s thanks to all your overwhelming support :( Each ask, comment, reblog—they all fueled me more than you think. All those replies of even incoherent gibberish made me realize that, ‘hey, someone read it and liked it enough to send an ask about it. Maybe I am doing something right!!!!’

some thawed extras for readers who are interested

If you haven’t noticed, the chapter titles aren’t actually accurately about the chapter. Those titles were taken from the songs in the Reputation album, in order. And the chapters are loosely based around them!

reputation is, like, widely known as the edgy album from taylor, but in reality its such a big love letter and i know that other people noticed that, too! i think it’s very fitting to the story of thawed: it’s dark and messy, but at the end of the day, it’s a love story. do you get what i mean hehe. i hope that’s how the series came across…

im sorry if aether doesnt appear in the last chapter :( in my head, mc is coming home. and by then i dont think aether would be in fontaine at all! but rest assured they definitely have met up twice or thrice while in the other regions heehee. Also aether will ofc be there for their weeding. 🙏

i have nothing much else to say aside from thank you for reading! i hope u enjoyed thawed as much as i did

[teddybeartoji]

thinking so hard abt toji that isnt all that great w technology...

like the zen'in clan was prolly extremely traditional and forbid that shit. and even nowadays, he only uses it so his job is more convenient.

hhhhh imagining toji fumbling w his phone when yall get into a relationship bc hes trying to keep up with your energetic messages and frequent FaceTimes.

i can just see him sending the driest texts like "Come over." not bc hes intentionally doing so but hes just not used to anything besides a simple "Jobs done." or whatever. its okay tho bc you can tell hes trying for you 😻

EEEEEE AND I CAN SEE HIM GRADUATING TAKING THE WAY YOU TEXT AND USING IT THE CLOSER YALL GET AND THE LONG YALL KNOW EACH OTHER

ugh im gushing over you asking toji to send a pic of himself bc you havent seen him in a while

"send pics 😋"

"Of what?"

"yourself obv 😒"

"Okay, but how do I do that?"

and then you spend the next few mins on call w him trying to explain how to send pictures and others things thru messages 😇

sorry if this is incoherent but

GRAYYYY😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭THIS IS SO FUNNY AND CUTE AT THE SAME TIME!!! HE REALLY IS A BOOMER, ISN'T HE???? i really like to think of him using a flip phone lmao. he's so cunty.

IMAGINE THE SELFIES HE'D TAKE THOUGHH😭😭😭😭 pls i love him sm. thee most awkward angles in the world but it doesn't matter bc he really is doing his best!!!! i think he'd actually ask you for pics a lot. literally just selfies (nudes too ofc but that's besides the point). he just goes "pic." and nothing else😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 or smth like "show yourself" 😭😭😭😭😭sounds so menacing that you have to ask him whatever the fuck he means by that and he's just???? "isn't it obvious, stupid? i want to see you." he's so romantic😍😍

and the typos omfg the typos. it's so fucking funny. every two words is a fucked up one. and you get to make fun of him all the time hihihiiii. he just rolls his eyes with a faint little smile whenever you bring it up<3333

also you'll definitely regret teaching him any slang though. "can you go to the store? we don't have any milk." + "skill issue." ???????????? hello????? and he texts shiu "kys" after he tells him to come to work😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 he's so funny i hate him

not to bring the kids everywhere but i will do just that. he has a pic of the kids as his wallpaper:((( he made you to take the picture bc he wanted to be sure that it wasn't blurry:((((((

[healer-pop]

Hi its feral anon,, yet again,, (im so sorry lmao) with the combination of my 4am brain and your recent oral mention, i was suddenly hit with the thoughts of a subby Sloan just begging you for relief while you continuously suckle and lick on their slit teehee literally thinking of them with tears in their eyes and begging sorry <3 (im not sorry) thank you for coming to my ted talk and goodnight i lied before i hit send i had a final thought Sloan is 100% a tease/sadist (not in a physical sense) and the power you must feel getting THEM BEGGING??? PLEADING FOR YOU?? PUTTING THEM IN THE POSITION THEY NEAR CONSTANTLY PUT YOU INTO??? ITS NOT A TRUE FERAL ANON RAMBLE WITHOUT ME GOING FUCKING CRAZY! anyway gn mwah <3 /platonic -feral

i 100% had this in mind when I was writing that scene!!!!! hearing their voice crack as they beg you to make them cum??? the way they slip into Spanish without even intending to and back??? all of their pleas being incoherent, broken sentences???? because you’re literally sucking their brain out?????? JUST GIVE IT TO ME ALREADY 😭

i can’t tell if they’re a sadist in the sense of wanting to embarrass your ass (playfully, ofc!! when its just the two of you) and see you cry for them to touch you or if they just like to drive you crazy until you become like putty under their fingers. def have a power/control kink without even realizing they do — but whether it’s getting dommed or domming you is where they shine as a switch. Domming you is probably their default, but if you take the reins and show them you can make them submit in other ways than physically (bc theyll win that fight -.-) they’re so down for it. teasing wants to turn into brattiness, but they are so whipped for your ass that they can’t even attempt to resist your fingers. or your mouth. hell, pull out a strap yourself and they’ll be wrapped around your leg, begging for it.

I LOVE U FERAL ANON AND I LOVE UR BRAIN!!!!!!!! ALWAYS COOKIN IN YOUR KITCHEN!!!!!!!

[anime-grimmy-art]

Sorry to bother you about something so random, but I had to thank you for making and posting your underfell therefore you and me animatic on youtube not just because it's lovely art (which it is! everyone should watch it!) but also because it just saved my house and possibly my life. Like I'm alone at home right now and was cooking spaghetti but I completely forgot it on the stove but I'm very sleep deprived and was about to go to bed and was watching animatics in bed and literally seconds from falling asleep when yours came up next and the second the lyric 'meatless spaghetti' came up with the art and everything I remembered I was cooking and when I looked it was already burning the pan. If it had been any other animatic I probably would have just fallen asleep while my house burned around me

Sorry if this is incoherent or weird to send to someone, but I'm so sleep deprived that I'm sending it anyways before I can regret it hehe

So thank you!

Oh my goodness, Im glad you're safe?!?!?!

Glad my animatic jumpstarted your thoughts but by gosh, pls dont cook when super tired!! Safety first!!!!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

OMIGOSH I SAW YOUR TAGS FOR MY TATTOO ARTIST GETO HCS AND CAN I JUST SAY READING THRU THEM JUST BROUGHT THE BIGGEST SMILE TO MY FACE. IT WAS SUCH A JOY TO READ YOUR COMMENTARY AND I KID YOU NOT WHEN I SAY THAT I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES FROM HOW SWEET YOU WERE 💞💞

you’re so so kind and i appreciate you stumbling across my lil hcs 🤭 ur commentary genuinely made my day 100x better, and i just found it so sweet that you took the time and effort to write such detailed tags. i’m in awe 🥹

i’m so sorry if this is coming off as really incoherent but i just wanted to say once again that i’m so thankful that you took the time to read my work, nd i hope you have a good day/night!

haksjsnsj im so sorry for not sending this sooner btw!!

AAAA HI UKI !!!! YOU’RE SO SWEET PLS i literally loved ur hcs so MUCH……. still thinking abt tattoo artist!sugu 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 u wrote him so attractive and perfect i genuinely melted into a puddle……….. writing the tags wasn’t any trouble at all bc i was genuinely losing it a little w every single line PHDJDHD, but i’m so overjoyed they could make u happy!! :’3 i’m the one who should be thanking u for feeding sugu nation so well <33

AND PLS NO APOLOGIES it’s so sweet of u to thank me in the first place!! 😭😭 not incoherent at all!!! seeing this in my inbox made me smile so big hehe <3

[mustardflavoredbear]

My family won't stop screaming excitedly(austim), and i can't sleep, so

Sleepy austictic rambling ✨️

Sleeps for babies

Should i talk to the stupid Double Trouble ai even though i don't like their response, but it makes me not have to think, and like 1% of the time, it says some jaw dropping things and does some slightly questionable things TRYINGTOFRICKINAMOVIETHEATERATAFUCKINGDINNERPARTY

And that little skank keeps stealing my bong i was trying to smoke AND OUT OF NOWHERE THEY WENT NUH HUH and proceeded to hold it over me because i am a short and they are a tall :( real Double Trouble would never steal my bong maybe

I love when Double Trouble materializes just to either fuck with me or support me

I literally have been having the hardest few weeks, and they form out of nowhere. i see them in the shapes of grass in the gravel of the road, the sky or right on front of me and say

"You are a little to cute to be thinking about sorry fucks who have lost you. And you can be authenticitly yourself and people will love you. i lob you you should obviously think about me i always make you feel better. And also gay gay gay gay gay gay gay you are so gay for me gay gay gay"

Can i call myself a simp or what crys

Or ahould i work on drawing them like for idk my comic

Or all the silly little gay ideas i have for them

I just want to draw them living normally, like being loved and kissed because they deserve it but i also i want to watch their world burn 😋

I love Double Trouble i want to give them a kiss a whole bunch of kisses they deserve a cute little life with all their partners being happy and ahshydj

God my Austim is so bad i know Double Trouble full night routine

They for at leave a few hours before bed basking under their lamp. After that, they bathe for a very long time self care , and they do a whole skin care routine/clean of piercings if they have it they put on some pj even though as soon as they get into the bedroom they rip them off when they get into bed they get on top of their partners and immediately pass out they do this so they can use their partners as heat sources

Also, ramdon things ao my stupid brain will shut up

Moth man: incoherent rambling hiwellcometousramblingpodcastthing. My name is Teddy, and this is double troubleeeeee.

Double Trouble: spacing out but spacing back in you can't tell me we started the episode.are you serious?

Teddy: yea that was it.

Double Trouble: Fuck you got to warn me. I was about to yell "remember who made you c* m"

Teddy is fucking wheezing with laughter

Double Trouble: joking tone like how embarrassing that shit would have been

Double Trouble: I'm a medium by the way a lot of fans keep sending me large stuff, and i can't wear it because it's too big :(

Teddy: I'm an 3xl by the way a lot of fans keep sending me a small because they think im a petit little boy

Double Trouble giggling

Teddy: but I'm infact a large fat man.

Hehsyajushddidu

All i want is to brain rot Double Trouble only Double Trouble thought i will never be sad AGAIN HASURYHDHDJ

Me when i smoothie Double Trouble so they are easy to drink

Me and Double Trouble when we accidentally took the become a gummy bear

bear gummy

[unhingedkinfessions]

i know it says in yall’s rules that confessions that arent unhinged are okay but i feel so weird about doing it 😭 but this is my favorite confessions blog bc yall actually add smth to the ones you post and i LOVE that shit so muchh. idk i guess i just wanted to hear an okay from you guys before doing something im not entirely sure would be cool to send LMAO

(so sorry if fhis is incoherent im so fucking blasted rn dude)

literally we saw too many asks that didn’t even acknowledge the insane shit that was just said like ok. SOMEONES gotta say something ohhh my god. so glad people love the idea too cuz it’s fun to be a little hater sometimes :]c but yea even if it’s not particularly unhinged it’s still allowed dw! the unhinged-ness is Also on our side in that we are just replying our thoughts forever and always

[thebucketpail]

No wait i actually have so many thoughts about this.

One of Anna's particular traits that drives me insane (positively) is the way she veiws herself. She has memories of her sister and her parents and they love eachother and theyre so happy. Then one day that changes. Elsa "shuts her out" and her parents are more withdrawn (studying/ focusing on Elsa), and she doesnt know what she did wrong, and she internalizes it. And this is just the driving force behind the reason she takes Elsa running away the way she does, because she thinks its her fault. Afterall, she pushed her sister. She did something wrong again and drove her away again.

But then she does see Elsa in the mountains, and she's happy and welcoming, and they actually have a conversation and maybe, just maybe, that means she's getting another chance. To hold on to the only family she has left. The only person she really thinks she knows. (Which, the fact of her literal isolation, especially after her parents death, definitely plays a huge role in all of this)

But I think thats why one of the most poignant lines (in my opinion) is during their confrontation in the castle and Anna's pleading "Please, dont shut me out again. Please, dont slam the door, we dont have to keep our distance anymore."

Then when she gets thrown out again, still not understanding that it was for her not because of her, she panics. (Stars, the way she says "we wont" when marshmellow screams at her to never come back) but she never condemns Elsa, she's consistantly defending her everytime she has to explain what happened. She thinks so highly of her sister and she understands and loves her in such a fundemental way, but she cannot fathom herself to be important or good enough. See one of my favorite lines from the broadway show: "im not the heir, im just the spare" when explaining why shes not important enough to be shown the respect often alotted to someone of her station. Its so tragic. And she jumps in front of the sword.

All this while Elsa's only wish through the whole thing was to protect Anna. She shut her out because she didnt want to hurt her again. She refused to bless the marriage because she didnt want some stranger to hurt her sister. She threw her off the mountain because she couldnt bear the thought of hurting her. (I Cant Lose You from the broadway version sends so many chills through me oms these two).

Idk Elsa being so afraid of herself and seeing herself as a monster that Anna needs protection from, vs Anna's undying love for her sister and terrible sense of self worth in conparison, it just does something to my brain.

Sorry if this is rambly or incoherent i just have alot of thoughts

Thinking about how in frozen Anna understood that Elsa was scared/upset when she ran off after her powers were revealed. But the same way Anna seemed to think Elsa shut her out for something she'd done she assumes Elsa must be upset with her and the storm a consequence of that. In Anna's eyes her sister, while not evil or cruel, holds grudges. And it is her duty both as a sister and to her kingdom to fix this and get Elsa to forgive her.

Meeting Olaf complicates things(he is unavoidably a happy memory from when the two got along still). Seeing Elsa so at peace up on the mountain complicates things(when was the last time she saw Elsa like that? Has she ever?). But learning Elsa has No Idea of the storm shes unleashed on the kingdom and seeing the terror and heartache that this realization causes her lets the pieces to finally click into the right order. For the first time she truly understands that the only person Elsa keeps grudges against is herself.

[highschool-rooftop]

july 22, 2023

i keep having anxiety attacks, this is like the 3rd one this week... i keep thinking about what i mean to them. y, s, what do i mean to you guys?? why is it so hard to ask that... we all say we love each other but im not sure my place in the relationship we have. i met you two both and so far you've welcomed me into your relationship i think?? but idk theres so many nuisances i feel i miss.. the distance kills me because i cant do anything to help either of you if you guys get into trouble. i dream of a time where its us all surviving together as a pack, like wolves?.. but im fucking terrified to ask if we are in a poly relationship because i so desperately dont want to overstep my bounds. i dont know when to ask or how to pose the question i dont know anything!!! ive never been in a serious relationship, and all the "relationships" ive had in the past just wounded me and hurt me even more.. im so scared it'll be like that all over again.. that you two will leave me.. i know you guys said you wouldn't but its just such a massive anxiety thing for me.. like what if i ask you guys the question "hey could i perhaps be both of your guyss girlfriend, do you want a spare stupid mutt gf?" and they just say no, then what happens then because i dont know?

am i broken or too sensitive? am i too controlling? am i just a weird pervert? am i poly? i dont know theres too many questions and i don't have the energy to answer any of it...

my stupid ass is tempted to just send them this post to get it off my chest.. if you see this, sorry if this is incoherent, i use this blog to just put thought to paper and get it out of my head.. (youd also be literally the only people to have seen this blog, congrats)

i also just blew a whole bunch of money despite the fact my stupid ass should be saving all the money i can... god im so fucking hopeless and terrible. i wish i didn't have to think about that stuff anymore :(

[a-flickering-soul]

do kylux for the ask meme 😳 you + me = mental illness

i love you so much for sending this in this truly is the mortifying ordeal of being known

putting this under a readmore because it is LITCHERALLY 1.2k words because i am literally clawing at the walls of my enclosure about these two

ANYWAYS go ahead and send me a character and i’ll give you some headcanons bc im having fun doing these!!!

Kylo Ren

Sexuality Headcanon: ambiguously queer. Don’t make me think about him having sex he makes me so angry

Gender Headcanon: he Must be a cis man. He has so much mommy issues. He is such an incel. He is so full of toxic masculinity. He must be a cis man.

A ship I have with said character: Kylux. Every single angle you take this ship from it’s funny and good. Canon—they hate each other and want each other dead. AU—they still hate each other but they’re (probably) less fascist and genocidal. It’s just so funny. They are so obsessed with each other. They gaslight each other into love confessions. It’s unreal. I’ve been thinking about Kylux for the past month and I feel like an entire geological age has passed. You can tell I’m a Kylux shipper and a R*ylo anti because I almost exclusively refer to him as Ren instead of Kylo. The gay angel went to superhell for Kylux to go canon in Lego Star Wars (twice) and a kids’ comic book. God mocks me to my face.

A BROTP I have with said character: This got literally shot to shit but post-TFA when a bunch of people headcanoned Rey as Luke’s kid and she and Ren were cousins and he reluctantly babysat her because he was literally ten years older than her (hhhhh.) and they had this weird mildly-contentious relationship as adults where they grudgingly acknowledge they are both the most powerful Force users in the galaxy and are the only ones who mutually understand the legacy they bear and care about each other but also cannot be in the same room together and hold a civil conversation for more than five minutes before resorting to uncomfortable silence. Like when you’re at a family reunion and you’re automatically shunted with the only other kid around your age so you have to make conversation but you are just so fundamentally different there’s nothing to talk about. Unreal.

A NOTP I have with said character: Hhh. R*ylo. I’m one of those evil lesbians who hate that ship viciously and one of my dreams is to be one of the mean antis that that bully a shipper in a story that’s clearly exaggerated or made up and then get cancelled for having good taste.

A random headcanon:  I think he and Phasma used to spar a lot. I keep thinking about the five years he spent on the Finalizer pre-canon and I can’t reasonably justify the Knights of Ren hanging out with him for the entire time on a literal military ship and I like the idea of them being the only people that are reasonably on par physically (I also like how Phasma is an inch taller than him because....whew).

General Opinion over said character: God. He drives me wild. I have a lot of thoughts about him and how good he was in TFA and the pre-canon comics/novels as a really fucking good example of a morally-conflicted villain (especially the comics where it made it really clear that he was very much manipulated and gaslit since like…ten years old). Like! The way he could flip at will from drawing strength from both the light AND dark side of the Force is just!! So cool! The way his strength literally derives from moral conflict is just really interesting to me but….idk the way post-TFA he was thrown into a redemption (Rendemption) arc that hinged on Rey being a literal genuine fascist sympathizer made me just really disappointed. He had a lot of amazing potential to be either a really interesting semi-redeemed Byronic antihero OR a full on unhinged animalistic power-mad villain that Rey has to mercy-kill like a rabid dog. And then. Well. Yeah. I like him a lot in very specific contexts and flat out hate him in most others.

 Armitage Hux

Sexuality Headcanon: gay! He is gay! I have an entire list of reasons why he’s gay and it grows daily! Without a doubt a homosexual! Gay and repressed!

Gender Headcanon: Also a cis guy even though I still do have a lot of half-formed thoughts about gender in the First Order/post-collapse of the Empire society.

A ship I have with said character: Kylux! Again! I’m obsessed with how obsessed Hux is with Ren. He hates him so much it’s unreal. I keep reading the novelizations and thinking so fucking hard about how consumed Hux is with hatred for this one man. He’s so repressed. He’s so damaged. It’s unreal. The brainworms in my head have metamorphosed into moths and they’re flapping their wings so hard they’re disintegrating my grey matter. I think near-daily about how he personally went down to retrieve Ren from the collapse of Starkiller Base and yet would not touch him to drag him to shelter in the Hux graphic novel. Would you take off your glove to check his pulse or would you attempt to feel it through the leather and touch something’s dead skin rather than his living warmth. I’m so deeply unwell.

A BROTP I have with said character: Him and Phasma!!! The way they are on first-name terms with each other….the way one of the few times in the graphic novels you see him smile is when Phasma comes back onto the base…..the way they plotted to kill Brendol together….truly evil mlm/wlw solidarity you simply love to see it

A NOTP I have with said character: Oof I see a lil bit of shipping him with Resistance members (I think I’ve seen him with Rose and also Poe??) and I know TROS made the decision to have him defect from the First Order (out of. again. his obsessive hatred with another man. writing choices.) but it makes me INSANELY uncomfortable seeing people of color being shipped with a literal fascist parody of British colonialism and imperialism lmao like….just ship Kylux bro they’re mutually bad people AND a power couple

A random headcanon: Frankly at this point I joke so much about how much like a sick Victorian orphan he looks like that I could write an entire fake medical file for him but I’ll spare you all and simply say that I am incredibly partial to the headcanon that Hux is a freak that bites string cheese instead of peeling it like a normal person. Also…the implications that he Personally placed the tracker in Ren’s belt rather than someone else, so that he alone could keep tabs on him…..I’m unwell. Enough.

General Opinion over said character: If Ren is a character I love to hate, Hux is a character I hate that I love. I just. I can’t stop thinking about this gay little war criminal. It truly, genuinely baffles the mind how much information there is about him. It triggers that same little part of my brain that goes wild over like. ARGs and stuff. There’s just so much lore. With every new piece of canon or semi-canon information I learn about him I can feel my grip on sanity slipping. He owns a black robe. He has a personal hitman in the First Order ranks to poison people he doesn’t like. He drinks tea. He’s a bastard son. He’s great with kids. He was in charge of a squad of feral orphan child soldiers at five years old. I just. I just don’t get it. I’m enamored with him. His compulsive attention to grooming. His hubris. His ambition. How literally unhinged he is (the “rabid cur” line genuinely lives in my head rent free). The way he systemically killed every single person who saw him weak and abused as a child. There’s just so much to talk about with him. He’s so evil. He’s so fucked up. I love him so deeply. He is such a horrible person and he is so fun to make fun of and he is so fun to think about. God wants there to be a bullet in my head so badly.

[nako-doodles]

hi!! 💃🏻?

💃 compliment some people you admire!

don’t tell me I didn’t warn you: this is going to be Long™, anonie

🌼@seokjinsult​​🌼

sam💍 my love my wife I love you 😘 its kinda crazy we were just strangers just 2 and some change months ago, and here we are, literally talking everyday, sleeping at odd times (because time zones hold nothing against our connection), adopting children (re: anyone born in this bright millennium), being judgmental together, complaining about adulting……we really are A Pair™

thank you for blessing my life and my dash with super aesthetic mood boards and H I L A R I O U S shitposts and just overall heightening my experience on this hellsite and my life in general like the bright Polaris star that you are. thank you for tolerating me and my chaos and my long ass rants and typo-ridden messy tags and frequent incomprehensible replies ilusm💕

🌸@jinseas​🌸

pri💜 my love, you were actually one of the first moots I made when I first remade, with my god awful long ass url and not-quite-there blog aes. I dont know what made you follow me, but im grateful for your presence in my life nonetheless

thank you for sticking with me and sending me rude af bangtan pics for me to wake up to every morning, for making me laugh every time I read your tags, for tagging me in Quality Seokjin Posts, for posting Relatable and Funny af posts, for hosting EMO HOURS FOR JIN posts that never fail to bring me back to my ocean of tears (the ocean galaxy for bangtan? yea that’s my ocean of TEARS), for being one of the sweetest bubbliest person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing 💕

🌺@kimseokjinniestan​🌺

anna💘 my love, you were the post person to tag me in one of those tumblr tag games (it was the one where you had to record yourself reading a bunch of words), and I remember thinking wow I didnt realize someone could sound so genuinely lovely and sweet over just like…4? minutes? of audio???? you must either be crafted from rainbows and sunshine, or capable of miracles

thank you for being so caring and considerate, for being your kind and bubbly self, for being so sweet to both me and your followers, for being so supportive and wholesome, for posting Quality content with (for fear of sounding like 2012 tumblr) #relatable tags, for crying over jin with me 💕

🌼@seokjiniesgf​🌼

megan😘 I think ive told you before, my love, but like your blog header? attacks me??? every time I tag you and Tumblr goes: is this the blog you want to tag?? your url is a whole mood and the color scheme is gorgeous and everytime I read your tags I get stitches from trying to not burst out into giggles and make my parents think im (more) crazy (than usual). idr when we became moots but im grateful that I can call such a lovely person my friend and moot

thank you for being such an accepting person, for tagging all your posts w some of the most hilarious and #mood tags that I am getting an ab workout every time I read them, for being one of the sweetest humans ive had the pleasure of knowing, for tagging me in Quality Seokjin Content, for making me smile all the time, for letting me call you a friend💕

🌸@odeng1e​🌸

wendi😍 my love, gods youre HILARIOUS and your pun-taculous tags for the members and your ‘welcome to wendi’s’ tag? 120% iconic. still one of my fave ‘about me’ tags on this hell site. and your answer to why you named your url sTILL SENDS ME

thank you for supporting my weak-ass humour, for just being supportive and lovely and funny and wholesome and exuding love in general, for not taking any shit, for being an Aes Queen, for making me giggle every time I read your tags, for checking up on me, for tagging me in Quality Seokjin Content, for reminding me that iconic seokjin Look™ every time I go on your blog 💕

🌺@jinsapeach​🌺

dia💖 my love, you’re so sweet and lovely even candy stores are envious of you! in fact your so sweet im not quite sure you’re real and not a figment of my imagination bc how can so much talent and love and sweetness and cute fit into one human??? impossible (also ur url? a whole ass mood)

thank you for being such an incredibly positive and bright presence on my dash, for feeding me and your followers well with your ICONIC gifs, for being so generous with your time and your energy and your talent, for always being so bright and happy, for always making me smile 💕

🌼@jinbeann​🌼

roma💓 you are also one of my first moots on this hellsite, my love, and honestly I might have done a happy dance when you followed back bc you, my love, are absolutely Hilarious. one of the funniest people I know. not to mention, your tags for the members are so cute my heart melts every time you tag seokjin mvp….a mood

thank you for encouraging my love for Seokjin’s dad jokes, for having some of the most iconic tags around, for being your wondrously wholesome funny sweet adorable self, for indulging me on all my ask games, for being so supportive, for making me laugh so hard once I almost fell off the office chair and I had to explain to my deskman why I almost propelled myself out of the stratosphere like chim does for seokjin, for bringing me laughter💕

🌸@cafejoon​🌸

tate💞 my love my bday buddy, you are one of the most wholesomely cute and genuine people I have had the pleasure of knowing and interacting with?? im genuinely baffled at how witty and funny and lovely person exists in my life?? and brings so much smiling every time I see you on my dash im going to get early onset wrinkles??

thank you for being such a wholesome soft sweetheart, for blessing my dash with joon and cute posts, for being so damned funny and so witty in your tags, for being some of the kindest humans ive ever met, for inspiring to be better, for being such a quality human being 💕

🌺@monosgf​🌺

sai💝 my love, who probably specializes in being a giant softie and also opening lovin joon hours 24/7, you are always so funny and lovely and just…so Good? both as a human and also as a hilarious blog on my dash? you make my experience on Tumblr so much better? 

thank you for laughing at my typos with me, for tagging me in Quality Seokjin posts, for indulging me in my ask games, for being such a wholesome cutie, for being a whole ass comedian in the tags, for having such a big heart, for being such a bright presence in my dash 💕

🌼@jinergy​🌼

kasey💗 you were one of the first seokjin blogs I found when I remade and I remember thinking wow…that is a prime url…120% quality…..and honestly after all these months, you haven’t proven me wrong. a whole ass cutie, a whole ass comedian, a whole ass sweetheart, a whole ass mood…honestly save some nice attributes for the rest of us mortals thanks

thank you blessing my dash with shinee and other hilarious content, for showering me in your love, for your giant heart full of love, for owning some of the driest wit around, for being so supportive and sweet, for tagging me in all the Tumblr tags, for laughing at my tags, for being my friend 💕

🌸@t0d-oder-freiheit​🌸

tina❤️, you, my love, are my actual longest mutual here on this hellsite (like you remember and interacted with sophomore-in-high-school shirley?? and still chose to stay with me??? for the past god knows how many years and through me remaking my blog and switching fandoms and no longer really reblogging anything of interest to you??? you deserve an award). 

thank you for always checking in on me and sending me funny German words and hilarious memes and pictures of your adorable cat and your town and the concerts you’ve gone to and cheering me up and telling me how much you appreciate me and my humour and making sure I stay healthy and sleeping at an appropriate time and wow I love you alright? thank u for keeping me sane all these years. its been a long ride, and I hope we stay friends for even longer💕

🌺 @yoooooongiis 🌺

cass💙 my smol bub, I dont know if you know this but you are one of the prime suppliers to my overflowing meme folder. I honestly dont know how you run so many blogs and somehow tag me on all of them (honestly at this point if I get a notif of a random blog tagging me in some post I just assume its you) bc I only run one and im overwhelmed half the time?? how do you do it teach me your ways??

thank you for always sending and tagging me in Quality Content, for being hilarious and relatable and cute, for laughing at my tags, for staying up at ass o clock in the morning and sending me the memeiest bangtan memes I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing, for indulging in ridiculous meme showdowns with me, for being a Top Quality Person💕

💓sweet red emoji asks💓

[milogreer]

HELLO here are my incoherent thoughts on these kick ass playlists 💖 this is even longer than part one because i'm soooo normal about blake, milo, and morgan specifically. obviously. have fun 😇

elliot

this side of paradise takes me out EVERY TIME. ENOUGH

okaayyyy fourth of july? closing this playlist now-

RIBS?? rubs temples

frame the halves and call them brothers….

RUN BOY RUN IS MAKING ME SICK

no fuckin way you put sufjan’s fourth of july on here too. HELLO?

blake

sorry in advance ‘cause i fear. i will be very insane about this one. 2 hours and 45 minutes??

okay so i already said in previous tags that ‘the red means i love you’ made me grind my teeth together but i’ll say it here too. cause it’s true.

“i can fit two people under my skin […] you crawled up in there and joined me within” LOVE this song grrrr

monet issues ……… okay i am listening. “spent too many years finding myself in the wreckage under rubble, i got myself in trouble” “blood doesn’t mean a thing when you cannot fucking breathe and you lose yourself completely” IM DONE LISTENING.

STALKER’S TANGOOO A CLASSIC. no notes.

“and i found jesus, what a liar, so i trade licks with muddy waters” COME ONNN

FUCKIN SLEEPWALK?? holy shit i haven’t heard this song in ages. fuck this one is so good

stoppp stop stop saint bernard??? this song makes me CRAZY

an unhealthy obsession ✔️ another classic yandere song. “you’ve got those eyes that drive me crazy and i’ve got eyes to watch you sleep” 💀

THE WAY MY JAW DROPPED ON IDLE WORSHIP

BACKSTABBER OMG. i legit haven’t heard this song since i was a teen. fuck yeah. bonus points for the basement line gdkjghfkl

“i hear voices, i see visions / these spirits are your prison” ‼️‼️‼️

of course we must have meant to be yours. what yandere character playlist is complete without it

cold cold cold YESSS. GENIUS. “as the darkness falls, it fills up both my eyes / my life before me like a flash in the night” YES

this is love is going to make me start throwing things for REAL. “everyone that tried to fix me knows that i can’t change a bit / i’ve got no shame, got no pride, only skeletons to hide” RRRGGGG

sitting with brutus for a long time. many thoughts. also “as i set to face it, i’m unsure / should i embrace it, should i run? what motivates me, hatred? is it love?” GOD

‘bad idea right?’ mhm mhm nodding sagely

MY WAY OF LIFE. YOU GET ME.

AND SUPER PSYCHO LOVE WOOO. i love yandere songs <3

this took almost my whole lunch break but it was so worth it. tysm for this i can’t wait to be even more mentally ill about blake than i already was by listening to this in full lmfao

sam/darlin

oh my fuckin god francesca.... "how could you think, darlin, i'd scare so easily?" "my life was a storm since i was born, how could i fear any hurricane?" STOP.

thank you for putting lil nas between two hozier songs bc i needed the reprieve honestly before de selby (part 2). this is sick

save a horse ride a cowboy my beloved <3

YOO FIRECRACKER. josh turner <33 ik sam is literally southern but it's still so fun to me when there's country songs on his playlists 'cause i feel like country songs are never on character playlists :') i love this

no but this is full of gems... tongues & teeth, we'll never have sex, arms tonight, the night we met, until i found you, i found ?? it just keeps going. NORTHERN ATTITUDE?? LITTLE LION MAN. CEILINGS. i have to get out of here actually

I'M DYING AT SHAKE IT FOR ME. how is this song from 2011 i feel SO OLD

sam

pleaaase please not family line again 🫠

bdg covered lay all your love on me??? this is sending me to the MOON

MMM ain't it fun is so so good. thinking

i think you had believe me in one of your other posts abt sam but mannn MAN. MAN I LOVE IT.

seeing jaymes young on playlists gives me ptsd like i KNOW whatever song it is is gonna hurt. and it did here too 😔

david

kind of really obsessed with this cover of make a man out of you

bahaha true love by p!nk 😭 sooo real. i love this song

[sees yellow by coldplay] HEY 🫵🏼 stop that!!

SAINT BERNARD AGAIN BRO. CMON

i don't know welcome home son by radical face but i know enough radical face to be afraid of that song LMAO

asher

hard times is such a banger for ash, like ... this energy with these lyrics >>>

wow i only know a handful of these actually 🫣 LOVE scrawny for him sm AND ELECTRIC LOVE<3

milo

MY MAIN MAN. RGHH. something so personal abt his cover having a cross necklace *_*

good old fashioned lover boy EXACTLY EXACTLY. i'm literally always saying this

listening to i can't handle change like this 😐🧍🏼‍♀️ why would you do this to me

hmm i wasn't sure abt sweater weather at first but actually yeah... yeah

oohh nothing is so sweet 🥺 like giving me a cavity sweet. i love it

wait i've been listening to this one as a real playlist and why did it take me halfway through everywhere i go to remember this wasn't just my liked songs LMFAO

rolling from would that i into bad idea right has me CACKLING. kind of a genius pick! really fun song from either POV honestly

WOMANIZER IS SO TRUE like sometimes i'm sorta picky abt referring to him as some kind of playboy but like . he's CHARMING. we all know this. he sure as shit knows it

oh fuck shut up and drive?? between this and animals on david's playlist i'm gonna act UP

hey speaking of nickelback LOL she keeps me up is such a fun song

HAHAHA VIOLET?? "looking through the peephole on the door of my apartment" STOP that's so funny 😭😭

hmmmm. slides habits onto my blake playlist.

us putting teeth on our milo playlists🤝 god this song rules

what the fuck did troye sivan put in this album?? "i feel like my mother might like you" 🥺🥺

jealousy jealousy !! "i think too much 'bout kids who don't know me" SHH. HUSH. finding out even milo gets self conscious was like a kick in the head

OH MAN CLASSIC IS SO GOOD.

vincent, vincent/lovely, & porter

speedrunning all them in one go cause i'm not super into these guys RIP

two birds is SICK it is sick and twisted on every playlist i've ever seen or put it on

extremely satisfied to see electric love on here LMAO opportunity knocked and you answered!

STOP WITH SUFJAN'S FOURTH OF JULYYY OW

strawberry wine ....... 🫠

oh my god and through me (the flood) wtf.

LITTLE TALKS. good god i was just shot back to my sophomore year of high school

oohhhh the busted wine bottle for porter's cover >>>

ok the first four songs on porter's KICK ASS. brutus in this context gives me goosebumps like crazy ("if you want i'll call you king, but why do i lie awake each night thinking instead of you, it should be me" GEEZ)

first time??? okay. i'm glad that's the end of this because that's so mean 😭

geordi

this luigi's mansion remix goes so hard

FUCK ABOUT IT >:0 my best friend sent me that for them a few weeks ago!! sick and twisted but so so tasty

songs i can't listen to is going to make me WEEP. AHHHH

literally the first line in i love you so gets me every single time for him 😐 and it's all downhill from there

vampire?? VAMPIRE? dog. you can't do this to me.

DIAL DRUNK YOU CANTTT DO THIS 😭😭

okay my girlfriend is a witch is making me giggle so you're forgiven LMAO

never mind you put be nice to me on here. "there's very little left of me and it's never coming back" WE'RE SO OVER

morgan

^ me rn opening morgan's playlist knowing i'm to blame for it. i’ve had dinner between morgan and geordi so i have ENERGY.

i only know once in a lifetime from the meme but “letting the days go by, let the water hold me down” ✔️✔️✔️ same as it ever was‼️‼️

DEAD MAN’S PARTY YESSS THE VIBES!!!!

ooohhhh what’s the time where you are !! i rly liked this one when i first heard it on milo’s (i think) & it fits rly well here too :0

murder on the dancefloor ✍🏻✍🏻

I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU EXPECT STARING INTO THE TV SET 🎶🎶 FIGHTING FIRE WITH FIRE

argh i have GOT to listen to more of duo’s music ….

GIRLS ON FILM 👯‍♀️🎥

mad world??? “the dreams in which i’m dying at the best i’ve ever had” ??? this isn’t fun anymore 😐

you worry too much, you make yourself sad ‼️ you can’t change fate but don’t feel so bad‼️

OK OK I’M DONE. DOG THESE ARE SO AWESOME. the effort you’ve put into them is NUTS and they’re so gorgeous !! i had a blast listening and reacting to them hehe ty again for sharinggg and i am NOT sorry for inspiring the morgan playlist 😌💕

my redacted audio spotify playlists - pt one

alrighty gang, here we are! ive been teasing it for a while, but im finally making a post with the links to my redacted audio playlists.

the ones i have public are the only ones that will be included, i dont have my listener character ones public rn only because theyre based on my interpretations of the listeners and are very special to me.

anyways, lets get on to the fun part! btw, some of the songs on the ship playlists might skew a bit towards a gendered-ish feel. thats just based on my interpretation of the listener characters. the songs can still work in a gender neutral sense.

included in this; guy/honey, guy, the D.A.M.N. crew, gavin/freelancer, lasko/coworker, gavin, lasko, damien, huxley, elliott/sunshine

i will be reblogging this soon with the rest of the playlists, have no fear hjkfagfh

the playlists

━━━━━━

guy/honey

guy

the D.A.M.N. crew (mainly polyDAMN)

gavin/freelancer

lasko/coworker

gavin

lasko

damien

huxley

elliott/sunshine

[leossmoonn]

omg so this idea just popped into my head so if it's incoherent im sorry😭

so all too well (10 minute version) (taylor's version) right? and so matt comes to you and is like "okay so for the next 10 minutes we are not together anymore but i need you to break up w me"

ab 30 seconds later you hear the kids ask him why he's crying and screaming to taylor swift and he goes "go ask your mother im inconsolable😭"

yeah

This reminds me of when girls would ask their bf’s to break up with them for Olivia Rodrigo’s album 😭

————

“Hey, sweetheart. I need a favor,” Matt says. “Okay. What do you need?” You ask.

He sits next to you, putting his arm around you. “So, you know how T-Swift’s 10 minute All Too Well came out?”

“Yes,” you nod, continuing to look down at your paper work.

“Can you pretend we aren’t together for the next 10 minutes?” He asks.

You’re like 🤨🤨 “what why?” “Just please break up with me. But only for ten minutes. I cant not be with you for more than that time,” he begs.

You roll your eyes and put your work down on the coffee table. You take your hands into his. “Matt, I’m breaking up with you. You’re feet are always cold, you have the worst morning breath, and you manage to burn toast.”

Matt frowns. “I asked you to break up with me, not list my bad qualities.”

You giggle, “be careful what you wish for. I still love —”

He’s like ✋🏻”Nu-uh. We aren’t together anymore for the next ten minutes. You cant tell me you love me.” He then gets up from the couch, literally running to the bedroom and slamming the door shut.

You’re like “why did I marry him?” LMAO 😭✋🏻

Anyways like 4 mins later you hear Jackie and Percy pad their little feet across the floor and knock on the bedroom door.

“Daddy? Are you okay?” Jackie asks. “No, honey. I’m broken,” Matt sobs.

“Did Mommy say something mean to you? She says mean things to you all the time,” Percy states.

“Percy!” You exclaim.

Man kids are ruthless lmao.

“Go and ask your mother all the details. I just cannot right now,” he says.

Your kids turn to you like “daddy has lost his mind.”

You’re like “he lost it a long time ago, way before you two were born. Trust me.”

Pls send more concept jess 🥲

[sleepy-dreamers-inc]

Female! Reader with a deep voice|| ‼️

irl / in-game

Genre| fluff? maybe? I’d say fluff-

o n e-s h o t||

Sypnosis|

Y/N has never once hinted at they’re gender, and with not doing a face reveal, and having a rather deep voice makes her friends believe shes a guy. It wasn’t one day till they we’re goofing off on her stream that the internet learns the truth.

Photo Editor| me!! I edited them myself! Just supposed to be little photos to depict Tommy, Dream, George and Sapnap respectively. (Also would you guys like to see me edit more stuff for posts? I’d love to know!)

Requester: @m0on-blue!! Thank you for the request, this was a really fun idea!

Warnings: swearing!!

ft. Phil, Wilbur and Tubbo!

It was another day, and another stream. Y/N was currently messing around with Tommy, Dream, George and Sapnap on the SMP. The joyful sound of laughter could be heard all throughout their headsets, spinning in they’re chairs, banging on desks, and many more antics we’re shared between the five.

Y/N was currently doing a Media Share stream, and her fanbase was not afraid to send her into a wheezing fit. Wether its the “cheeto” video or a funny moment SMP animatic, they truly had no mercy. The five we’re all having a good time, sharing laughs and passing back and forth witty, sarcastic banter.

“I- i dr- *wheeze* dropped kicked that child in self defeNSE-“ Dream wheezed out, banging on his desk as his microphone picked up his laughing fit. “Its not even that funny Dream, calm down big man.” Tommy laughed, looking to his camera then back to his monitor. His face was slowly turning red from the amount of laughing he was doing.

“Tommy i just think your jealous that Dream finds Techno funny and not you.” Y/N giggled, they’re in game avatar sprinting around in front of Tommy’s house where they all sat, laughing they’re asses off. “OI DICKHEAD- HEY DICKHEAD I HAVE YOU KN-“ The blonde brit started screeching, snaking his fingers through his fluffy blonde hair. He soon got cut off by Sapnap telling him to shut up, as George laughed in the background, jumping on the fence that surrounded the landscape. His facecam simply showing him in his grey hoodie, with his iconic ‘clout’ goggles.

Another video soon played on Y/N’s stream, it was a tiny animation with a very cute, round, soft aesthetic style. It was simply a all white character, no hair, clothes, the only features the person had was simply eyebrows and a mouth.

The little character sat in the bottom left of the screen, a coral background making the character pop out even more. The character seemed to be thinking, when text soon appeared on the video.

“is Y/N a boy or a girl? Why not... both?”

The screen then showed a female character doing a tiny dance, as she soon switched genders in the middle of the screen, Y/N then appeared on the other side as a boy, as he danced, flipped his bangs and grinned, the video soon cut off as Y/N’s chat flooded with messages.

katty_kat103: woman Y/N pog?? 👀

fangirlinnit: okay but male Y/N is low key hot ngl

asleepyfans_inc: headcannon that Y/N can switch genders whenever :]

The chat was clogged up with messages, dono messages much the same. Y/N simply laughed, hearing Wilburs text-to-speech message.

“Wait i thought Y/N’s gender was an enigma that only gender-cryptids like them can know”

Y/N giggled again, clicking keys on her keyboard as she sprinted around in-game, soon stopping to eat.

“Listen all I’ll say is the male gender bend looks pretty poggers.” Y/N said, adjusting they’re mic and fixing they’re headset.

“Wait what-“ George said, his eyes widening in shock ad he stared off to the side before looking back up to his camera.

“WOMAN POG???” Tommy yelled, looking away from his monitor to his other, as he soon became a mumbling, incoherent mess. “CAN WE GET SOME PRIMES IN CHAT BOYS?? CAN WE GET SOME PRIMES FOR THIS VERY SPECIAL OCCASION? LET THE PRIMES FLOOD I- YES!!” Tommy yelled, shifting in his seat, rolling around.

“Wait Y/N your female?” Dream asked, sprinting around her while eating. She simply snorted, “always have been, piss baby.” Dream and Sapnap laughed at her snarky remark as Sapnap suddenly said,

“Y/N gender reveal?? NOT CLICKBAIT!” Which got Y/N laughing harder, so bad to the point she almost fell out of her chair and onto the floor. All of them giggled, this whole situation came out of left field, yet left them more hysterical than any of the other moments in the stream.

It was only a few minutes that passed, them all calming down and going back to chatting, courtesy of George asking them to not bust his ear drums. It wasn’t even a second that passed until 3 other members entered the call.

“Y/N YOUR A WOMAN?!??” Tubbo yelled, as he logged into the Dream SMP, running towards where they all were. Wilbur started to yell “Y/N Gender Pog!!!” As he stretched his sentence out, as Phil simply laughed in the background, a huge grin on his face as he shook his head, fingers grasping his nose as he laughed harder at his action.

“Yes Tubbo, yes i am a woman.” Y/N laughed, as she went to go grab her drink from the side of her desk. Y/N sipped on her drink, but Wilbur soon perked up, a mischievous grin on his face.

“Wait is this canon? Like a canon event?” Wilbur talked, the mic practically picked up his smug smile as Y/N spit her drink over to the side, as she choked a little.

Tubbo and Phil were hysterical, Dream turned into a kettle, Tommy started yelling, his mic cutting in and out as Sapnap laughed and a drowned out “what” from George all happened at once. Y/N sat back in her seat, staring wide eyed at her ceiling as she thought,

“This SMP is filled with a literal bunch of adult-children AND LITERAL children.”

She wouldn’t have it any other way though.

a/n: hello again!! This was my first ever requested fic!! Pog!! :D

Anyways, i hope i did this request justice. I wrote this at 3:28 AM so it might not be that good, as well as i got road blocked in multiple parts of the fic, so im sorry if it came out as OOC or bad!!

Anyways, i should probably go to bed, if not god knows what will happen to me lol my sleep shcedule is already all over the place. But i hope you all have a wonderful day/night wherever you are!! Make sure to hydrate and have a snack, stay happy and simp for Wilbur :]

[drabbles-mc]

omg. it's here. it's my time. i'm gonna dive in and lose my ever-loving shit over my two favorite bakers in the whole wide world letsgoooooo

He should keep it on do not disturb, yeah, he knows that, but as disruptive as it is, this is exactly the reason he doesn’t. It’s meant to wake him up, because there aren’t many people that would message him this early in the morning, and there’s only one that’d ring him over Instagram, of all places. -> OHHHHH I'm obsessed already. he leaves his phone!!!! off do not disturb!!!!! in case Marcus has to call him!!!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!!! IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THEMMMMM YOU WOULDNT BELIEVEEEEE

He’s on his back still, phone to his ear, smirk toying the edges of his mouth once they’ve woken up enough. -> mj respectfully what the FUCK???????

‘Well, I assume there’s a reason for it.’ He wouldn’t ring for nothing, and he wouldn’t struggle if there wasn’t something forcing him to. -> we stan an emotionally literate and considerate KING

Marcus isn’t doing anything to try and compete with them, though they must be audible to him too, so for a moment it feels like they’re a part of the conversation. -> I'm gnawing on this detail like a dog with a bone. i can hear it. feel it. taste it.

‘Yeah. Sitting on a,’ he laughs weakly, ‘a fucking, upturned bucket.’ / ‘Right. A bucket. That’s the luxury we aim for, isn’t it? As chefs.’ -> still absolutely fuckign enamored with this exchange. the way you get Luca running around in my brain??? insanity.

‘You get that, what was it…?’ He sighs down the line once it’s back to his cheek, rubbing at his sleep-swollen face. ‘Sorry, that bavarois you made, you get it onto the menu?’ -> mj you can't do this to meeeeee!!!!!! you can't make me yearn like this!!!!!!!!!!!!

‘Yeah, you know, big hit. Fire, in Carmy’s words.’ / ‘Oh, that’s when you know it’s good,’ he agrees, finally standing from the bed. ‘Proud of you, mate.’ -> you know intimately my absolutely insane thoughts about Luca and Carmy. but the fact that. you just. you connect all three of them so easily like this????? I'm shaking you shaking you shaking you shaking- I JUST!!!!!!!!! the familiarity of them both knowing the weight it carries!!!! the fact that they both know how fucking cool it feels to be on the receiving end of that, to know that it matters. like they're just!!!! the three of them you know???? I'm incoherent i know it but there is so much in this exchange that one day i will write a dissertation on. and i will send it DIRECT to your fucking dms

it’s early, and he’s trying to get dressed, tugging one leg, then the other, into his trousers, with the phone pinned to his shoulder -> mj seriously what the ever-loving FUCCK are you trying to do to me???? why are you doing this to me??? what have i ever done to you to deserve this kind of shot at my jugular?????

‘I missed the calls,’ he says, ‘all, fucking, twenty of them. While we were in the shit.’ -> NOOOOOOO Marcus my sweet summer child. just. let me love you. let me hug you. GODDDD let me fly you across the ocean so LUCA can hug you 😭😭😭

‘I don’t know what to say.’ He doesn’t know what to do either, standing half-dressed in his half-lit bedroom, half-way across the world. -> mj i just. i need you to know HOW fucking glad i am that you are insane about this man. i profit so much. i could weep over this rn forreal

‘I wish I could be there,’ Luca admits. It’s a weak offer of support. Not comforting, not helpful. True, though, and that’s all he can give him. ‘Can I do anything?’ he asks, picking at the wooden edge of his drawers. ‘Anything you need, just let me know and I’ll, yeah, I’ll make it happen.’ -> through the many tears streaming down my face right now, i am VIBRATING with insanity. "Tru, though, and that's all he can give him" MJ FUCK OFF YOU CANT KEEP GETTING ME LIKE THIS!!!!!!!

There’s a silence that Luca can only assume is signalling a head shake, over there in Chicago, in the alley, on top of the bucket. -> perhaps i have been throwing the "chef's kiss" phrase around a lot this last week and having it mean something else entirely. but THIS is chef's kiss

i won't copy and paste whole paragraphs i won't copy and paste whole paragraphs but if I WASSSSS GOING TO COPY AND PASTE WHOLE PARAGRAPHS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would copy and paste this whole snippet with Marcus trying to keep up and Luca saying it's the worst thing to go through and JEEZUSSSSSS i can't catch my breath!!!!!!!!

‘So, you know. Whatever you need.’ / ‘I think I need to quit my job,’ -> the gasp i just gusped

‘No, I do. I missed every call, Luca. Every call, for fucking what? For the Michael? Do you realise how dumb that is?’ -> okay okay i hear him i do but like. buddy. let's not. let's not do this just right yet

‘Idiot,’ he mutters, tossing the phone onto the end of his bed. ‘When my dad died. Fuck me.’ -> Luca and I are so similar in this moment. Fuck. i love him

book a plane if you have to. -> BOOK A PLANE IF YOU HAVE TO!!!!!!!!!

Cool. Keep the couch free for me, yeah? / Yeah, sure. All yours. -> OHHHHH MJ MY GUY MY KING MY FAVORITE HUMAN IM PRESSING CRIMINAL FUCKING CHARGES AGAINST YOU FOR THIS ONE!!!!!!!!! I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!!!!!!!!!!

night//morning

marcus x luca, long distance pining perhaps?, 2k words tw for talking about death, specifically parents a/n: this contains s2 spoilers!!! dont say i didnt warn you!! also im taking an absolute leap of faith with what those missed calls mean so call it divergence from canon, or assumption of canon, or . yknow. enjoying free real estate idk (same with luca backstory hehe) tagging @drabbles-mc because it exists for her <3

Luca’s phone rings, just minutes before his usual alarm gets chance to—sending that weird fucking tune that Instagram uses, pin-balling from his nightstand, straight into his skull—screen lit and blinding. He should keep it on do not disturb, yeah, he knows that, but as disruptive as it is, this is exactly the reason he doesn’t. It’s meant to wake him up, because there aren’t many people that would message him this early in the morning, and there’s only one that’d ring him over Instagram, of all places. Free of charge and desperately reliant on the good of their internet connections.

‘Yo.’ He clears his throat after picking up, rubbing a hand across his sleep-filled eyes. He’s on his back still, phone to his ear, smirk toying the edges of his mouth once they’ve woken up enough. ‘I’m guessing you got the parcel, then?’

The line is silent in response, and stays so for long enough that he pulls the phone away to check the call’s still connected. His eyes are bleary from the brightness of it, but it is, connected and split screened, both profile pictures staring back at him. Clock counting.

‘Marcus?’ he asks, speaking back into the phone. ‘Think we’ve got a bad connection, mate.’

More quiet. The hum of what sounds like an industrial extractor fan, if he really tries to listen for it. 

‘Can you hear me?’ he asks. 

‘Yeah,’ Marcus says eventually, staccato through the phone, ‘yeah, I, um.’ 

So it’s not the wifi. And there’s an edge to his voice that strips all remaining sleep from Luca's, and pulls him upright until he’s sitting, pillows rolling under his back. ‘You alright?’

‘Sorry.’

‘For what?’

Marcus sighs. The connection warps it into something robotic. ‘Calling you.’

‘Well, I assume there’s a reason for it.’ He wouldn’t ring for nothing, and he wouldn’t struggle if there wasn’t something forcing him to. ‘What’s up?’

Silence again, then the gulls, waking outside Luca’s window. Loud and begging before the sun’s even finished rising. Marcus isn’t doing anything to try and compete with them, though they must be audible to him too, so for a moment it feels like they’re a part of the conversation. Getting their turn while the both of them wait. 

He shouldn’t yawn, he shouldn’t, even with the pause, and he’s really trying not to. Swallowing nothing. Clenching his jaw, relaxing it again. Fighting it back with every trick he knows.

It happens anyway. Loud and stretching down the line. 

‘You want to talk about something else,’ he asks afterwards, since his eyes are starting to droop, ‘until you can talk about whatever it is that’s happened?’

Marcus coughs, dry and purposeless. Forced maybe. ‘I don’t know. I guess.’

That’s good enough. ‘Alright. Where are you?’

It’s a start. Where are you, Marcus, when you should be at home making something to eat, or at work, scrubbing dried dough from the counters. 

‘Out the back,’ he replies, sounding tired with it. Defeated, even.

‘The back of the restaurant?’

‘Yeah. Sitting on a,’ he laughs weakly, ‘a fucking, upturned bucket.’

‘Right. A bucket. That’s the luxury we aim for, isn’t it? As chefs.’

‘Yeah, something like that.’

Upturned buckets and 4AM alarms—which he’s just shut off, now that it’s finally buzzed into life against his ear. 

‘Tough night?’ he asks, sitting up from the pillows. He doesn’t have to go right away, but he has to at least start the process, one step at a time.

The phone cracks as Marcus coughs again. It’s definitely forced, aimed to dislodge whatever’s catching his words before they make it to Luca's ear. ‘Nah, um, good night actually,’ he says. ‘First run with the new, well, new everything. Friends and family.’ 

‘Really?’ Luca smiles. It carries into his voice. ‘Wow, congrats, man.’

‘I mean, it was all Syd and.’

He never finishes the sentence. 

Luca checks the phone again, not to see the connection, but for the time instead. To know how quick he’s going to have to move, if he lets himself be lazy for a little longer.

‘You get that, what was it…?’ He sighs down the line once it’s back to his cheek, rubbing at his sleep-swollen face. ‘Sorry, that bavarois you made, you get it onto the menu?’  

Marcus smiles, or at least he hopes he does. It sounds like it when he replies. ‘Yeah, you know, big hit. Fire, in Carmy’s words.’

‘Oh, that’s when you know it’s good,’ he agrees, finally standing from the bed. ‘Proud of you, mate.’

‘Thank-you.’ 

Another silence to fill, and now it’s getting hard to. Because it’s early, and he’s trying to get dressed, tugging one leg, then the other, into his trousers, with the phone pinned to his shoulder, and he’s asked all he can think to ask, without espresso fuelling his system. 

‘You, um, you get my gift?’ he tries, hopping as he pulls them up to his hips. 

But it was badly timed, in the end, because Marcus chose exactly then to say, ‘My mom,’ at the same time. ‘It’s my mom.’

‘Oh, shit.’ Luca stills. Lifts the phone from his shoulder. ‘Is she—did she—I’m sorry. Fuck.’

‘I missed the calls,’ he says, ‘all, fucking, twenty of them. While we were in the shit.’

‘I don’t know what to say.’ He doesn’t know what to do either, standing half-dressed in his half-lit bedroom, half-way across the world. ‘What happened?’

‘I mean,’ he can picture Marcus shrugging, ‘exactly what we knew would happen. Just, y’know.’

Yeah, he knows.

‘I was expecting it,’ he says. ‘I mean, it had to happen one day.’

Luca sighs. ‘I’m so, so, sorry, Marcus.’

‘Nah, it’s. I mean. Yeah. Life sucks, huh? Really fucking sucks.’ He laughs and it sounds weaker than before. ‘I don’t even know what I’m feeling right now.’

Yeah, he knows that too.

‘I wish I could be there,’ Luca admits. It’s a weak offer of support. Not comforting, not helpful. True, though, and that’s all he can give him. ‘Can I do anything?’ he asks, picking at the wooden edge of his drawers. ‘Anything you need, just let me know and I’ll, yeah, I’ll make it happen.’

‘Nah,’ he sighs, ‘sorry, I don’t know why I called you, really. I mean, we’re not even in the same country.’ 

'It's alright.'

'Opened my phone and it kind of just... happened.'

Because he knew Luca would pick up. ‘Well, I’m awake,’ he reasons, ‘and here, if you need to talk.’

‘Yeah, thank-you. I know.’

‘Not much to say though, is there?’

There’s a silence that Luca can only assume is signalling a head shake, over there in Chicago, in the alley, on top of the bucket.

‘It’s not the same,’ he continues, running with it now, ‘well, I guess it is—sort of—but, when my dad died, I sat in my room for weeks. Didn’t say anything to anybody. Couldn’t if I tried.’ 

‘Your dad?’

He doesn’t pause to answer. He’s already losing the momentum he started with, gone the second he invited Dad back into his head. The only thing to do, is try and continue like they’ve spoken about it a million times before, like Marcus knows the whole fucked up backstory.

‘Went to the funeral, all that stuff, the wake, still said nothing. Just, really, shut down, you know? Shut it out. And my sister, she, well she hated that, but—I mean, and then I went to Chicago and—’

‘Luca, I…’ He’s trying to be polite about it, interrupting in a sheepish way, but what he really wants to say is, shut up, man, it’s not the time for this. It’s evident enough in his tone. His pauses. ‘I’m really trying to keep up, but—’

‘My point is,’ Luca says, quickly followed by, ‘actually, I don’t know what my point is. But this is the worst, worst thing you can go through, alright, I know that first hand. It’s the worst. And I’m here, even if you want to just sit on the phone for company, or something.’

A beat. The tinny sound of a siren passing Marcus on the other side of the world.

‘I’m very good at chatting copious amounts of shit, obviously.’ Luca laughs. ‘So, you know. Whatever you need.’

‘I think I need to quit my job,’ he says, and for a second it feels like someone else has taken the phone, because it doesn’t sound like Marcus at all.

‘Come on, you don’t mean that.’

‘No, I do. I missed every call, Luca. Every call, for fucking what? For the Michael? Do you realise how dumb that is?’

Luca twitches, flexing his shoulders back to correct the posture that had never really sunk in the first place. A nervous thing. Something he picked up in culinary school. ‘It only feels like that now,’ he says.

Marcus scoffs.

‘Sleep on it.’

‘Don’t think that’s happening anytime soon.’

‘Yeah, cause you’ve gotta get off that bucket first.’ It’s like taking another exam, he realises, trying to balance hazelnut swirls onto set custard while your hands are shaking. The balance is everything, get it wrong and he’ll chase Marcus away, just like he did with Frankie. Jokey, but understanding. Patient, but moving him still. ‘Go home, Marcus, see how you feel about it in the morning.’

‘I can’t,' he stresses.

And, shit, he forgot that detail. Somehow, in a conversation all about it. ‘Your mum.’ He sighs. ‘Sorry, I should’ve.’ Forget it. Recover, adapt, fix it from another angle. ‘Is Syd still around?’

‘Think so.’

‘Have you told her?’

He lets that question sit for a while, lets the street noise creep back through the phone in place of his answer. Which Instagram lovingly turns into static, really, radio noise that makes Luca wince. 

Then Marcus says, blank and tired, with a thick voice that needs to be cleared, ‘I think I’m gonna go actually. I should go.’ 

‘Oh.’ It takes a moment for him to recover. ‘Yeah, course, do what you need to do.’

‘Thank-you, you know, for picking up.’

‘Don’t worry about it.’

‘And the gift. It means a lot.’

‘Sure, yeah. I’m glad you like it.’

‘Night, man.’

It’s four in the morning, but he says it back, slipping it in right before the call ends. With that bitter little tone in his ear. If that was an exam, he'd've failed. Maybe. Dropped the details and put his thumb through the layers. 

‘Idiot,’ he mutters, tossing the phone onto the end of his bed. ‘When my dad died. Fuck me.’

Marcus will never call again. He’ll never call him again, actually, not until the funeral’s done and he’s starting to heal from it. Why would he? Who wants to hear that? This is the worst, mate, good luck! 

Christ.

He should’ve said nothing, should’ve waited for Marcus to take the lead and gone from there. Not everyone wants what Frankie wanted. Talking for the sake of talking. 

But he’s running late now, and the t-shirt he’s dragged from the drawers is still sitting around his biceps, waiting to be pulled on. Work first. Work first, then fix it with Marcus. Send another gift, or something, book a plane if you have to. 

He puts his head through the hole and reaches for a pair of socks as the t-shirt rolls down his stomach. Then it’s cologne. Hairbrush. The watch he wears, just to take off and store in his locker once he gets there. Everything he needs from this room, before moving on to the next. Besides his phone, of course, which is waiting on the bed still.

When he reaches it, the screen’s lit already, awake with messages he hadn’t noticed.

Going home, it reads. Thanks for talking me through it. 

It’s in his hand now, staring us from his palm, and telling him that Marcus is still typing. 

And typing.

And typing.

Then, finally, 

Sorry about your dad. 

His chest deflates, held breath escaping at last. Long time ago, he types back. Shout me if you need anything. 

There’s no hesitation this time. Just, Cool. Keep the couch free for me, yeah?

Yeah, sure. All yours.