#sorry im having feelings about frozen again i cant help it

[spookberry]

Thinking about how in frozen Anna understood that Elsa was scared/upset when she ran off after her powers were revealed. But the same way Anna seemed to think Elsa shut her out for something she'd done she assumes Elsa must be upset with her and the storm a consequence of that. In Anna's eyes her sister, while not evil or cruel, holds grudges. And it is her duty both as a sister and to her kingdom to fix this and get Elsa to forgive her.

Meeting Olaf complicates things(he is unavoidably a happy memory from when the two got along still). Seeing Elsa so at peace up on the mountain complicates things(when was the last time she saw Elsa like that? Has she ever?). But learning Elsa has No Idea of the storm shes unleashed on the kingdom and seeing the terror and heartache that this realization causes her lets the pieces to finally click into the right order. For the first time she truly understands that the only person Elsa keeps grudges against is herself.

[fueioekjfisks]

Im so sorry im losing my absolute mind but please hear me out for a second.

Mild tw for implied SA - NOTHING ACTUALLY HAPPENED PEOPLE JUST THINK IT HAPPENED

You know the common misunderstanding au in the danny phandom rn about vlad being a creep and people thinking hes like a CREEPY CREEP and not just a supervillain creep?

Well imagine danny is going on break or something and his dad wants to bring the whole family up to vlads castle for whatever reason.

Danny, obviously, does not want to waste his ONE FREAKING CHANCE of getting some god damn sleep being tormented by vlad and his stupid birds. Plus, vlad will probably plan some big murder plot for his dad and danny CAN. NOT. HANDLE. THAT. RIGHT. NOW.

So danny decides to make a PowerPoint presentation about why he doesnt want to go.

Obviously he cant reveal vlad or his own halfa status so its mostly just really jumbled information about vlad being creepy.

He gets backup from sam, tucker, jazz, and even val. He also knows his mom already dislikes vlad and knows hes a total creep so all he really needs to do is convince his dad.

But??? As hes compiling evidence??? And rehearsing his presentation with hes friends??? He realizes that it sounds super fucked up???

And like, it’s mostly just bad without all the context. But he realizes that Vlad is actually kinda sick in the head. Danny knows he would never actually do something that terrible, but its supper concering how similar his actions are to like, actual bad people.

Danny isnt mad about it or anything, he’s actually just worried about it Vlad.

Danny is not perfect by any means. But Vlad is the only other member of his species besides, like, his fucking clone (which holy shit Vlad what the fuck) or maybe dan who is also fucked up.

Danny knew that Vlads death definitely messed him up, but he never really thought about Vlads actions beyond “obsessive fruitloop, at it again :/“ and is just now realizing that vlad might need psychological help. Which he feels pretty (REALLY) bad about.

Danny has no idea what to do, and no idea who to go to.

So he sneaks out, doesnt even go ghost as he takes the powerpoint to vlad who obviously freaks tf out because holy shit thats SO MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING HE COULD HAVE POSSIBLY IMAGINED. What if he had actually hurt daniel? What if he had hurt his precious Madeline?? He needs help like yesterday! How did he ever get so bad???!

So Vlad freaks, trashes his own house, apologizes to danny, and books it through the portal to find the far frozen or somewhere else he can get help.

Danny is somewhat shellshocked about the whole situation. It doesnt get better when people start investigating Vlads disappearance.

The state of the manor indicates foul play and the police look into it further. Find security tapes. They see danny, frazzled and paranoid, enter Vlads property, everything goes to static, and only danny leaves.

Hes arrested of course, and he and his friends/family are interrogated.

Everybody vehemently denies that Danny would ever do such a thing, but when they are asked if danny has potential motives everyone (except for jack) gets all squeamish.

Its practically common knowledge in Amity Park that the mayor and the weird Fenton child had beef. People just were unsure why.

I think it would be really cool to focus a story around the polices pov of the investigation/ random Amity Parkers interpretation of the events.

Danny being kinda creepy after the accident (because death) could totally make people assume he did it and that would be awesome.

We can also add in de-aged Dani/Ellie and or Dan for that extra spice.

Imagine the fentons finding out about Dannys supposed kids in the context that they are MOTIVES FOR THEIR SON TO MURDER THEIR COLLAGE FRIEND ( AND DANNYS OWN GODFATHER) WHO APPARENTLY GROOMED HIM???!? AND THEY DIDNT EVEN NOTICE??!?

This could totally be a crossover too. Lucifer tv show. Batman. Supernatural. All are good.

Anyway, thought this could be kinda interesting

Please continue if you want

[hello-there]

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[ganondoodle]

sorry i keep coming back to totk rants, but something that utterly baffles me from a game design perspective especially is

who, in their right mind, would think to put similar objectives with the same characters in the EXACT same place as its previous game when already reusing the same exact map (no, single rocks springkled around isnt a meaningful change, fight me)

like from a purely logical point of view its just ... not logical?? and TWICE so when most players will have played the previous game, so now that the exploration, which was the main driving point of it, isnt as satisfying simply bc you know most locations and what is what, the thing you need to do is subvert it as in you go to that location and theres something else now or something that leads to a new reveal, but not NOTHING either, bc you likely cared about what youd find- the satori mountain was such a cool mysterious place, so now you head to it to see what is now and its nothing but maybe an obvious treasure chest? thats both lazy (i realy use that since its way overused by people missusing it) and just ... it might be meant as a lil nod so that there isnt nothing at all but to me it feels even more condescending as if there were literally nothing instead

satori isnt here anymore? thats weird if its always been there, so you go find a cause, maybe theres a fissure somewhere you can enter a large cave system, an hidden entrance to the underground that reveals there is something corrupting the place somwhere nearby but not exactly in the same spot- make it into a bossfight at which end satori gets cleansed- maybe it got captured and taken somewhere else, to a place that was kinda neat but didint serve a big fucntion in botw like maybe it was dragged somwhere into the big tabantha canyon, or to the forgotten temple

you try to visit rito village but the snow and cold there got so bad that you cant even reach it without special gear, and when you do reach it its utterly frozen in thick ice and not a single soul is there, the perch of vah medoh is knocked over building a bridge as a subtle hint as to in what direction perhaps, its intriguing bc clearly they have to be SOMEWHERE, maybe they tried to use vah medoh to evacuate but bc its losing power and doesnt have a skilled pilot they crash land it into the mountains, now trapped there and due to the storm not able to send anyone out to get help, maybe some did but they didnt make it and you can find them on your way and rescue them, and bc of the storm being so bad no one can get out and no one can get in (except for our special boi linky ofc) and even after the storm has weakened they dont immediately go back and act like everythings normal, maybe theres an extra mission afterwards helping them rebuild the village but not exactly the same as it was but fortified, different to account for things like this happening again, establishing the crashsite of vah medoh as a second outpost, or a temple, to thank it for bringing them out of immedaite danger but couldnt go all the way

theres so many places that are so clearly modeled around botw that are entirely unused now bc they had to remove all things shiekah for no reason, the holes they left jsut being holes where somethings clearly missing or some chest with a gem in it while the new shrine thing is within view distance a few meters away, might as well have put them in the exact same place bc it really doesnt make a difference

(like alot of those ideas im using for the rewrite which changes many things but you get the point right??)

and its even worse imo with the building stuff, bc now you dont even have to journey there you can fly glide and literally drive there instantly like a giant skip button so you cant even appreaciate the way to it, you skip to one important part to the next

and then points of interest are REPEATED AGAIN, like with shrines and lightroots and settlements and big mines- that is the opposite of satisfying gameplay, you dont have to explore shit bc its all in the same place which is probably why they only did tiny changes to those few spots and nothing else bc they knew most people would run right to those so it gives the illusion of changes (which are half reversable or barely a change at all) and even those are STILL meaningless

its right up there with having even MORE grind with less substance to it than in botw, the shrines and krogs got a lil old but at least the environment, its subtle storytelling etc were something- and totk just bloated everything with more little meaningless collectables while not changing anything meaningfully (and instead pretends that some things where never there and those new boring things were always there)

more shriens with shorter puzzles or none at all, more krogs with the same reward system, over a hundred tiny caves that all blend together bc they are all so similar and you really only do them for yet another colelctable for old gear and ONE cool new one with a bad effect after which the things collected become uselessreally, souls to collect to buy you a single armor set, rewards being largley reused old stuff from botw (imo you should have a chest in your house, yes YOUR house, that got most of the standard versions of botws armor in it so you dont have to buy it all again??? but you gotta think of going home first and dont have to use it- make new versions of them alternatively so you can choose if you want the old one or new one and also LEAVE ONE AT YOUR HOUSE WITHOUT HAVING TO SELL IT SO YOUT INVENTORY ISNT AS ENDLESSLY SCROLLING AS YOUR STUPID ARROW BAR)

theres new effects from food and armor thats largely useless (like the attack when hot?? why wouldnt you you jsut combine an armor and a potion- put on hot armor and drink an attack potion? its way more efficient no?? idk i found it to be yet another effect thing to bloat my inventory especially when NPCs keep giving you shitty effect food)

the whole sonanium (zonaite?) collecting with multiple ways to convert it into yet another currency??? huh???? AND have it be the thing for you to autobuild with?? when you need it upgrade your battery which takes an insane amount of those stones?? wells, while finally an actual well are NOW ALSO LIKE A COLLECTABLE and im gonna take a wild guess that the reward is utterly disappointing too

the fairies are all blocked by much more annoying means than in botw (like i wouldnt want to carry those NPCs three meters away in their little cart antoehr time please) and the amount of material AND MONEY NOW you need is so much higher for no reason (if its their attempt to make the game harder its the lamest way to do it)-

all while instead of expanding on the foundation of botw they ripped it out to build a new one while pretending they are both there (im so so slaty about this .... a sequel like this should expand upon the stuff of the first game, both in theme, narrative, mechanics and more and not ... replace it with slightly different versions of it while abandoning everything established before and really only using it as a way to skip having to make you care about some characters bc you might still care about them from the other game)

i could go on, as always lol, anyway, i really really dont get why this got into the final game ..

[dingledraw]

Hey dingle random ask I know, but u have said before that u have autism, and I myself believe I have it as well, but im undiagnosed and no ine really believes me when I talk about the symptoms I share with people who are diagnosed but anyway

I think im having a shutdown? My body feels really weird like im not there. Some parts of my body is like , I domt know ut feels wlvery weird, when ppl speak to me I cant seem to open my mouth, and if I do ive been speaking really slow and soft? And im breathing really hard and ive been forcing myself to not stim, and stimming helped but it made me feel weird for neeeding to do so and im typing really fast for some reason and have been listening to the same song for like 80 times and covered myself with my blanket and locked myself in my room

I cant really get away from my trigger (its my parents fighting) so what shoyld I do? I feel so scared and on edge this never happens usually, ive been so off today ever since starting my account for the first time and im really panicking here do u have advice?

Thabk you. If you need to ignore this ask for whatever reason I understabd completely, take care ty for ur art

Oh gosh, that’s a hard question. Autism shutdowns can be triggered by many different things and the best way to deal with can differ from person to person. I’m sorry that you can away from your trigger that really sucks to hear.

In regards to feeling disconnected from your body I have a weighted blanket and a weighted plushie (I got the plushie form here) that helps me. You can use other heavy things (like a coffee table book) and try and put them your chest while you lying down and see if the weight helps you calm down. Soda can also help. That sounds odd, but the sensory input from the carbonation, the cold temperature and the flavor can also help focus on the body. Another thing that is also related to temperature, is taking something like a bag of frozen peas and again place it on your chest, which again forces your brain to connect to your body. I also find that moving my body helps, which ofc can be a big ask if you’re already exhausted, but maybe just walking around in your room while perhaps listening to something.

The most important thing to do is be kind to yourself. It sucks that you feel weird stimming, but it’s not weird that you need to do that. Autistic people don’t regulate their emotions by the same means that neurotypical people do, and there is nothing wrong with that. You don’t have to do it in front of others if you’re not comfortable, but don’t deny something that helps you and is completely harmless. You need to be kind to yourself, and give yourself what you need in order to function and be happy. If that includes stimming then you should use it. I wear headphones almost everywhere, I would rather not and wear cute earrings, but I have to do what is best for me and helps me function in a noisy environment.

Again, it’s hard to give advice since autism varies from person to person, but try different things and see what works for you without judgement in regards to whether or not it is “weird”

Take care of yourself and stay strong 💪

[creative-caramel-coffee]

The Bear ch 4

Pairings: Wanda x R || avengers (platonic) x R

Word count: 3.8K

TW: flashback, torture, themes of death, panic attack, concussion, nonverbalism, brain washing, mind control, trauma, abuse, violence, needles, restrains, bruises, injuries, guns, medical malpractice, human experimenting, tears, insanity (implied), headache, (damn thats a lot of warnings.)

Summary: You join your uncle tony in the avengers, it wasn’t your original plan but you never planned for your powers either so here you are. Now your at the avengers tower and falling for the girl of your dreams. With a haunting past and interesting abilities can you navigate your way through the challenges of being a hero? After a mission gone wrong and a cruel twist of fate the team starts digging for answers. Can tony keep them from finding out the truth?

A/n sorry this took so long to publish I might have broken one of my fingers im getting an X-ray in three days. Also the sign language I describe is auslan (Australian) sign language so … yeah. Also im not great at it so it might be wrong sorry.

PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7

When your mind awoke the dull headache still sat behind your eyes which you had kept shut. You wiggle slightly and Wanda knows your awake.

“Hello sweet girl. How are you feeling” she asked rubbing her thumb over your cheekbone. You were in her lap and quite comfortable. You let out a content hum and Wanda chuckled slightly. The vibrations of her chest were soothing on your head as you had your face nestled into her chest.

“Baby?”

“Mm?”

“If your feeling good enough natty and i wanna ask you something my love.” Wanda asked taking note of your muscles as they stiffened. You knew this was coming, they wanted to know why you had frozen on the mission. You fought back the emotions that bubbled in your chest and nodded.

“You want to know why i froze.” You said in a small voice. Wanda wiped the baby hairs from your eyes and looked down at you softly. Nat laid a comforting hand on your thigh and you almost had forgotten she was in the room. Wanda and nat were sat against the headboard on your bed and you were curled in Wanda’s lap.

She began to run her hands through your hair and you let out a content sigh.

“Baby we just want to know so we can help you and keep you safe.” She said softly and nat nodded her agreement.

“Alright, but i-i c-cant t-talk about it.” You stuttered clearing your throat at annoyance at the nervous habit.

“Baby thats ok, can i look and show natty then?” She asked your consent and rubbed her thumb over your cheek again with her hand cupping your face. You suddenly felt small and nodded, words becoming too hard for you.

“Ok if you need me to stop or it gets too much at all i need you to tap twice on my thigh baby girl. Can you do that for me now so i know you can do it?” She asked still speaking softly. You used two fingers and tapped twice on her thigh. She smiled down at you. “Perfect baby your doing so well. Let me know when your ready ok my love?” She asked and you drew a shaky breathe and looked into her eyes and nodded your consent.

“Words baby. I need to hear you say its ok.” She said. You looked slightly stressed and signed ‘no talk’ with your hands. Bringing your middle and pointer finger to your thumb to say no and then bringing your finger to your mouth and drawing circles to say talk. Wanda understood and began storing your hair.

“Ok baby no talking. Are you nonverbal baby?” She asked and you nodded and sniffled slightly. She cooed and asked you once more if you were ready. When you signed yes she hummed and began to project from your mind to her own and Natashas.

As she sifted through your memories her brow furrowed. They were fragmented and many were repressed, the trauma distorting the images. She saw many things. A damp cold cell with white chalk drawing of tony and the outside world covering the walls. The drawings were magical and intricate. She saw a small room with nothing in it but a chair, a man and a tray of what looked like torture instruments. She saw the lights of hospital but it was unlike anything private or government, more like a run down covert facility. She saw the man from the mission standing over you as you writhed in the restraints that kept you strapped to a table. He held a long needle filled with black liquid. She saw you standing over a man, a bear skull mask on your face and a black suit on you body. You had a gun pressed to his temple and sick grin on your face. She knew that suit. That grin. That gun. She recognised the cold sadistic chuckle as you drew the trigger. The crack of a bullet firing ricocheted throughout the ally and she watched the body fall limp on the floor with a sickening thud. But despite the cruelty of then action she saw the lacquer in your eyes. The gloss that told her you weren’t in control. She saw the light in your eyes flickering as you fought for control. She watched as the scene changed again and you were laid beaten on the floor of a cell cradling a bruised abdomen as you wore nothing but a ruined and bloody rag. She saw a man, the man from the mission again land hit after hit across your already broken and bruised body.

She watched you be broken and bled in every way possible before you were thrown back into your cell. She saw the kind scientist sneak you chalk that you covered the walls with. She watched you cry alone and broken. But the last thing she saw, was the logo of hydra printed on the door of your cell. The red ink bleeding down the walls.

She found nothing else. Careful not to damage your mind further she withdrew her controls. Looking down at you in her arms she pulled you tighter to her despite the shock. Your body shook with sobs as you wailed slightly still not speaking. In a surprising display of strength you pushed yourself away from her chest and sprung from the bed. Natasha looked dazed as you curled into a ball in the corner. Shielding your head with your forearms and rocking back and forth. The sound of your broken cries permeated the room and broke Wanda’s heart. She slowly came over to you seeing the panic in your eyes as she tried to stop the flashback. She pulled you into her arms and rocked you slowly as you sobbed. Slowly the sobs slowed as your hand gripped her shirt in fists.

As you began to recognise who was around you and where you were Wanda held you tighter.

“Baby we understand you weren’t in control. That wasn’t you. I remember fighting you but i know it wasn’t you. You couldn’t ever be that cold.” You howled and Wanda squeezed you again.

“Baby we love you the same as always and now we know just how strong you are and we love you even more.”

You sniffled and began to move your hands as you began to sign that you wanted to explain.

Wanda placed her hand over yours. “Baby you don’t have to do that just now.”

You signed back ‘I want to or i know i never will be able to.’

Wanda hesitated but nodded. Carefully she stood with you in her arms and walked back to the bed where nat sat and offered you a smile. You knew she didn’t care about your past the same you didn’t care about hers. Wanda held you as you explained. Hydra took you in the early days of tony being Ironman. You, behind the spotlight helped on missions and when you were captured one day things changed. They tortured you amongst other things and brain washed you to do their bidding. When tony rescued you he hid you away when he saved you from hydra and you and him faked your death. When you told him two months ago your powers returned after hydra suppressed them and made sure only you could use them when told, he panicked and made you come to the compound. The drugs they gave you to control your powers finally wearing off. You had always loved your powers, they made you feel safe and you quickly regained full control but the damage hydra did made some of them dissapper. Tony wants to keep an eye on you to make sure your ok if they come back also. But now hydra knows your alive and your powers are back and stronger, and they have almost certainly ordered a hit on you.

Wanda sat back and sighed running her hands through her hair as she took it all in. She was quick to comfort you as you took her silence as a bad sign. Tears formed in your eyes. And your loud thoughts told Wanda you thought she was mad. You began to struggle in her lap. She quickly pulled you into her chest again and shushed you reassuring you everything would be ok.

After all the stress and crying your head felt even worse and the familiar nausea returned. You thrashed in Wanda’s arms who pulled you from her neck to look into your eyes. They looked frantic and you quickly signed the word for throw up. Nat was quick to understand and grabbed another sick-bag. She had half expected this to happen after the stress this had put on you and the pain of crying that hard with a concussion.

She carefully placed it under your chin and you put your hands over hers as they shook. Wanda rubbed circles between your shoulder blades. You hunched over your hands clinging to Nat’s wrists for dear life she she held the sick-bag for you.

“Its ok baby. Let it out. We’re here. Don’t hold it back bubs.” Wanda said seeings you gagging and struggling to keep it down. Tears formed in your eyes before you ducked your head lowered towards the sick bag. The sound of you throwing up filled the room as all the food you had eaten in the past few hours was violently expelled.

“Shh sh sh your doing so good for us Detka. So so good baby girl.” Wanda said.

“It’ll be ok y/n/n its alright love.” Nat said. When you stopped gaging nat went to take away the sick-bag but your grip on her wrist tightened and you shook your head slowly.

“Going to go again?” Nat asked raising a brow and her question was answered as you threw up a second round. When you stopped you pushed her hands away and nat nodded to Wanda who pulled you into her as nat went to dispose of the sick and grab some more mouthwash for your sensitive tastebuds. You sniffled and buried your face in her neck.

“Aww bubs your ok. Your ok now love.” Wanda soothed. After a bit your sniffles died down and you simply laid curled in her arms. Nat returned and you rinsed out your mouth and then began to drift off to sleep.

“Its ok baby you can close your eyes. You must be exhausted after all that my sweet.” Wanda said and you nodded and curled into her chest. After a little your soft snores sounded throughout the room.

When you woke up the room was dimly lit still but the headache was lesser. You signed to Wanda you wanted a snack and you were hungry. She stood getting ready to leave but you signed that you wanted to come with. Nat who had been watching the conversation over the top of her book frowned. After a series of quick hand movements from you you made it clear that you were coming with. Nat stood pulling some sunglasses out of a drawer.

“If you come with you wear these. You don’t need to loose the progress you have made in recovering.” Nat said and you pouted but let her slip them onto your face regardless. After a second you blinked and then turned grabbing nat and Wanda’s hands before dragging them out of the room.

Nat snagged a sick-bag on the way not knowing how your stomach would react to the lurch of the lift. You raised a brow but didn’t comment. After a successful trip down to the kitchen you realised it was mostly empty. Clint stood by the toaster making bagels with cream cheese and looked up smiling at you when you walked in. Nat waved and went over to talk to him. But he frowned and nat paused. Looking sheepish he signed to nat he broke his hearing aids while training and nat laughed. Quickly signing back she told him it was ok and she would tell fury to send more. Clint looked up from his conversation and noticed you signing to Wanda about what you wanted to eat. He frowned.

‘I didn’t know she knew sign language.’ He signed. Nat froze and Wanda swooped in.

‘She’s got a sore throat so she’s resting her voice’ Wanda said and you smiled shyly. Clint smiled, happy he had someone else he could sign with. The toaster dinged loudly and you flinched still slightly on edge from earlier. Wanda took you hand rubbing her thumb over you knuckles to smooth you.

You sighed softly and gave her a look of thanks.

‘Are you alright y/n?’ Clint signed not missing the way you had flinched.

‘Yeah toaster startled me’ you signed back and Clint nodded in understanding. He shot a questioning look to nat who shook her head and indicated he should just drop it. He nodded and pulled out his bagels which nat pointed too seeing he couldn’t hear the ding.

“Wanda once you got y/n/n’s snack head back up to the room and I’ll join you a bit later. I need to call fury to get more of Clint’s hearing aids sent to the compound. Clint signed thanks after reading her lips and nat waved him off. He wouldn’t be able to make the call himself because he couldn’t really talk right now.

Earlier you, nat and Wanda had decided on how to tell the team about your issues but decided to start small. Clint would be the first one to tell he would understand the best. But you hadn’t had the courage to tell him yet.

Wanda and you headed back to the room and after around a half hour of relaxing and listening to Wanda read to you you had been dozing lightly when Jarvis startled you into fully being awake.

“Director fury is asking for everyone to meet him in the conference room.”

The AI said.

“Alright tell him we are on our way.” Wanda said slipping the sunglasses back on your face rubbing her thumb over your cheekbone as you basked in her touch. She grabbed you hand and softly pulled you from the bed.

Fury was waiting in the meeting room. Nat and the rest were already there and Wanda pulled you into a chair next to her and Natasha.

“Nice of you to join us Maximoff and L/n” fury said and you made yourself smaller in your seat as the team looked at you.

“Alright getting straight to the point.” Fury said. “Operative has confirmed that hydra has put out a hit on y/n.” Wanda, Natasha, tony and you tensed but stayed quiet. “L/n will need to be accompanied by another member of the team at all times and is not to leave the compound unattended.” Fury said and you groaned quietly. Whenever similar things had happened in the past it had made you feel trapped. And as you explained to Wanda and nat earlier that often led to you disappearing for a couple hours to be alone. “This is not up for discussion L/n.” Fury said when he heard you groan. You slouched but didn’t protest not wanting to talk still or make a scene by using sign language in front of the team who still didn’t know.

“Everyone else you are to be going to this hydra base here” fury tapped a spot on the map behind him that was being projected on the screen. “This meeting will brief you all on what will happen and i trust tony to brief the rest of you with more details on y/n later.” Tony, Wanda and nat stiffened knowing the truth about you. “Only a handful of you will be staying behind. Clint seeings you can’t hear right now which would make using coms a nightmare.” Clint frowned crossing his arms and sounding in. The chair but knowing fury was right. “Y/n for obvious reasons and a concussion. Bruce will stay here in case y/n requires medical attention and Wanda and nat seeings you have taken a liking to young ms L/n will stay behind to protect her. The rest of you will be going to the base. You leave in three days. Tony you have three days to tell the team about y/n or I will be. Alright now lets get into the details of what’s happening on the mission. L/n, Barton, Maximoff and Romanoff you all stay for this as well, you might be needed as backup at any point so stay focused here.” You deflated in your chair, feeling yourself getting overstimulated. It was a mix of the constant flow of information and the fact your concussion was making everything around you seem ten times louder than it was. Nat was taking note on your left and Wanda sat doing the same on your right. Even though they wouldn’t be going on the mission they wanted to stay informed.

You drummed your fingers on your thigh and fidgeted softly trying to lay attention. You felt the headache begging to worsen and you winced, luckily hidden by the sunglasses. After another five minutes you were struggling even more. Even through the sunglasses the light was hurting your eyes slightly and the noises had blurred together to create an endless stream of overstimulating pain. You couldn’t tell nat or Wanda because you couldn’t sign in front of the team. Quietly you took a pen from the cup of them in the centre of the table. Uncapping the black biro and starting to draw up and down your arms. You drew and octopus to start and were putting the details on the tentacles when you felt a hand on yours. Looking up you see nat offering you her notepad. She slides it to you across the table indicating to draw on it instead. With slightly shaky hands you take it. Nat frowns seeing your tremor. You glanced around before moving your hands below the table and signed “what about your notes?” And she points to Wanda who is talking notes as well and she gives a finger wiggling wave with a cheeky grin. You chuckle and when you realise the room us quiet you see Steve glaring at you.

“Y/n? Are you even paying attention.” You swallow nervously.

“Yeah thats what I thought. Please listen this is important or we will have to. Bench you on the next mission.”

when nat saw the tears collecting in your eyes she stood up for you knowing it was too much and you couldn’t talk or leave. You felt trapped. Steve was still lecturing oblivious to you going a deep shade of red from the teams eyes on you.

“Alright thats enough Steve you made your point now get back to it.” Natasha said sounding very annoyed. Steve paused taking note of the authority in Nat’s voice and swallowed before returning to the briefing as fury had left to deal with more important matters. Wanda’s eyes lingered on you for a second before meeting Nat’s as they silently and possible mentally conversed thanks to Wanda’s powers. You were a little annoyed because you knew they would be talking about you. You huffed and fixed your gaze on the screen trying to get your buzzing brain to pay attention to the details. After what felt like hours Steve dismissed the team and you made a beeline for the door. Quickly retreating to your room and despite the silence, slipping on your noise cancelling headphones and starting to draw in your sketchbook. You were chewing on your pinky finger absentmindedly as your pen flew across the page when two short raps came on the door. Wanda and nat wanted to make sure you were ok. They knew something was up. Of course with the headphones on you didn’t hear them. Only realising when then door cracked open spilling light into the dimly lit room. Wandas head peeked in cautiously and you gave a small apologetic smile and signed for her to come in, looking sheepish. She smiled wildly and pushed the door open the rest of the way as her and nat entered. Shutting it after them, the room returned to its previously dimly lit level of light but the two girls didn’t seem to care. Nat eyed your sketchbook complementing your art before Wanda pulled you into her arms.

You buried your face in her neck and drew in a heavy breathe pf her calming scent.

“Baby girl was that meeting a bit much for you?” Wanda asked softly and felt you nod into her neck.

“Im sorry my love. The reason we didn’t come find you straight away is natty here chewed out Steve for calling you out like that in front of the team.” She heard you sniffle into her chest and felt small sobs wrack your form.

“Aww sweets don’t cry we’re here now.” Wanda said and you pulled away still straddling her with her hands on your hips. You signed ‘too much’ and nat carefully slipped the noise canceling headphones back over your ears. You sighed and Wanda pulled you into her again and drew circles on your back with the palm of her hand. It soothed you like the presence of the two women. After a bit you fell asleep and Wanda quietly talked to nat about telling the team. They would find out sooner or later and right now them not knowing was making things harder on you. Stressing to keep it secret was taking its toll on you. Nat knew the team the longest and knew they would be fine with it. Helpful even.

When you next woke they posed the idea and tired and sad you agreed. Pointing at them and signing that they would tell the team for you. Nat chuckled. “Sure thing kiddo whatever you want squirt.” She said ruffling you hair with a smile you batted her hand away grinning and poked your tongue out at her.With mock offence she placed a hand over her chest and gasped. Wanda rolled her eyes at your antics.

“Honestly you two are such children.”

“Yeah but you love us.” Nat said and Wanda sighed.

“I do. I love you both very much” she said peppering your face with kisses as you giggled slightly the sound warming Wanda’s heart.

“Right we have a meeting to call.” Nat said standing up.

MASTERLIST

[everythingwasnormalhere]

could you give me blind Craig headcannons for my story? Thanks ^_^

all these are assuming he loses his sight later on, aka hes not blind since birth, so tell me if im wrong lol (also partial blindness hcs bc its very underrepresented though a lot more common smh,, but like, can make him totally blind if you want lol you do you)

mandatory disclaimer im not blind nor i know that many blind people so this might be Very wrong lmao (feel free to correct me yall 😭) (also if u arent blind either i recommend u to ask blind ppl and/or blogs like @/cripplecharacters for advice with this)

big on the ignore it till you make it<3

nooo hes not going blind wdym his vision is awesomeee (this guy cant see shit)

probably hid it for as long as he could bc internalized ableism + pettiness = bad decisions

also this overwhelmed the shit out of him, meltdowns often bc autism aint good yall

didn't get the diagnosis till he was almost not leaving home bc he could barely manage there without seeing, outside was a big fat nope

when he did get it, he already could assume what was happening, but the diagnosis made it real- cue the panic attacks<3

he clyde and tweek decorated his white cane with space stickers to make it fun :) (will always be a sucker for characters decorating their mobility aids im not sorry)

spends his nights looking at the stars, trying to memorize them before he cannot see them at all. the thought of losing them forever terrifies him

insecurity oh my god. his friends have to reassure him they won't leave him after he can't see every other day. little guy acts all confident and craps but oh boy he's actually Not 😭

jimmy teaching him cpunk he's just that awesome<3

"how does he deal with ableism?" well he curls up and sobs actually :) /hj

ppl grabbing his cane would send him in a panic at the beginning

THEY'RE NOT HELPING FFS

went from frozen and almost in tears to cursing them out though; he's vocal about his feelings like that<3

when he's with friends they're typically the ones who proceed to curse them out first btw lmao (possibly trip them too. oopsie 🥰)

holding hands with tweek. yes using the cane is easy but tweek is easier. craig would genuinely trust him with his life yall

he's very used to holding tweek's hand since before too, so not much of a change really :)

learnt how ppl's walking sounds very early on

cartman cannot be normal abt disabilities ever so he probably "pranked" craig a lot early on

he got so much shit from everyone for that though so not anymore

craig and butters bond over it :3 with butters' eye injury and all

(their experiences are not the same but taking into account butters is who has most experience with vision problems in all south park, its the best craig can get atp)

got pissed at like 20 screenreaders until he found one that worked for him

will listen to space documentaries, close his eyes, and imagine everything they say. makes him very happy :)

gets a guide dog later on im not sorry service puppies are the best ever

not gonna learn braille his ass is too lazy lmfao

...these arent a shitton of hcs wdymmmmmmm (sorry for text wall it will happen again)

[yaostars]

GOJO SATORU ✩

note: this is angst (sorry), she/her prns, fem reader, lowercase a/n: bye i js watched all of jjk for the 2nd time since season 2 came out n i felt like rewatching the first season but gosh i felt like ruining everyones day by writing this after reading the Shibuya arc a month ago. anywho hope u like it and i hope i ruined ur day bc i ruined mine by writing this at 1 in the morning summary: you and gojo had an argument over your mental health and after it gojo needed a few days of getting himself back together but during those days you were caught up in a mission... (cliffhanger LOL)

it had been a few days after the small fight gojo and you had after him worrying over your health. he saw the lack of sleep, eating and mainly yourself lack anything at that point. he was sick worried and wasn't sure on what to do with himself but confront. you on the other hand didn't even realise this was happening to yourself to the point you snapped at him. in conclusion he had told you he needed a bit of space for a few days just to collect himself again. you fully agreed well more like a small nod and head down not watching him leave.

over the past day you had received a mission which you gave full awareness that you were going to do it just so the fight could be out of your mind. only if you knew what the after math would be.

slowly making your way there you felt the presence of quite a curse. you were obviously not in the right state to fight but kept going. unconsciously doing this you didnt even realise the curse had landed a blow before exorcising it. softly puffing out cold air trying to catch your breath obviously now understanding your boyfriends point on how your health was no longer good.

taking a small step before collapsing on the ground not even realising you had managed to have a massive hole in your stomach. groaning at the sudden feeling of your intestines moving around. it was survival mode at this point but all you felt was cold and in a state of shock still.

shakily grabbing out your phone seeing you and gojo on the front making small tears form knowing at this point you weren't going to make it. quickly typing in the password and getting to gojos contact. you pressed the call button waiting for him to pick up but all you were left was a voicemail. trying heaps of times to call him back until coughing small bits of blood up realising you were still going on voicemail. sighing before saying possibly your last words ever.

"heyyy this is gojo satoru cant get to the phone right now please leave a message BEEP" is all you could hear until clearing your throat.

"hey toru uhm idk when you're going to listen to this but im sorry for not listening but.. ive messed up and i need help but uhh please get back to me soon as possible .. i love you" you ended it slightly cussing at yourself knowing he wont get back.

you laid on the grass which you couldn't feel anymore neither your body. sighing softly before tears fell knowing no one is gonna come to find you. you started to see black making you smile for the last time.

gojo had been busy for the last few days with his students completely forgetting about the problem he had with you. he opened your contact seeing a voicemail at least a few days ago. he was hoping it had been an apology or please come back to me i miss you. he tapped on the button and the first thing he heard was your cough. slightly worried until he heard the next few words. he stood there frozen and unable to move before calling Ijichi on where you last were franticly. he had told gojo that you went on a mission a few days ago and he was also slightly worried due to no contact. he had given gojo where he had dropped her off making him scurry and practically run to the place.

after a long jog gojo had made it to the place seeing it was tourist sighting but not many people were there either. gojo was freaking out looking everywhere until seeing a familiar patch of (h/c) in the corner of his eye. he stopped and retraced his steps before seeing it again. he hoped you were okay and not dead silently praying before taking a long step over the bush seeing you. he was frozen hoping all of this was a fever dream and that he would wake up in your arms again but no you were there with a little smile adorned on your face peacefully laying. looking away with a shaky breath making his way over to you and crouching down moving a few strands of hair away from your eyes. he was upset at himself and knew it was his fault. tears fell but he didnt know that at all thinking it was just raining.

he softly grabbed you in bridal style on his lap hugging you hoping you were just sleeping forgetting that there was a hole in your stomach and no heartbeat at all. cradling your head he softly swayed you in silence while all he could hear was the trees rustling and small birds talk to each other.

he sat there hours waiting for you for any sign but at the end of the day you were gone like dust in the wind.

[credulouscanidae]

i think. it's because i got denied an appointment to start hrt again despite giving all the history + diagnosis. nhs isnt going to help me. i had a massive breakdown about that. i was told i need to send the docs, sent them off couple weeks before christmas, sent a follow up email as i didnt get a reply back early jan, then called up asking for an update, only to be told that they apparently sent a letter to my old gp about denying me an appt. and then got all indignant when i asked for a copy of the letter -about me-. couldnt even acknowledge my 3 emails i had sent them over the month. nah, all my medical future gets decided without my input or autonomy. such is the case with the nhs i hear. that was....the week before? idk time is getting lost on me.

then within the same week i get indirectly told that i didnt get the job i was really riding on getting, at the place i volunteer. i was hyped up about volunteers having a higher chance by the workers there. radio silence for months. get told by one of the workers at break "oh btw im sorry you didnt get the job". despite...despite asking for a follow up about my outcome, and being assured that i would get a yes or no answer, because "they follow up with everyone who has an interview whether you got the job or not".

me from a year ago wouldve been disappointed, but probably couldve picked up from that and be reassured. the me now? cant bounce back. clearly im not worth having these opportunities. im not worth having a job at the place ive been at for9 months, and instead they hire 2 completely new people to the organisation. i wasnt even runner up.

i miss my old self. i am a fat disgusting estrogen-ridden husk of my former self.

i miss working. it fucked me up in a lot of ways, but it kept me fit, busy, occupied, and productive.

i miss connection and talking to people. god, i miss it every day. and the only solution to it is to challenge myself. but it's so fucking easy to give up and resign to the fact that no one cares or id be a bother or i deserve to be alone. how the fuck are you meant to be convinced to even instigate convo when thats all that goes through your head?

while im not making any effort to end my life, im sure as hell also not doing anything to preserve it. i feel like im going to snap some point soon. i feel more and more unhinged every time i have a breakdown, like i am so rotted from the inside that i can barely hold myself together anymore. my foundations are collapsing. i had a breakdown mid last week and i still feel hungover. my body itches and jitters all over.

cant even do my dog grooming properly. im not confident nor experienced enough, but im too scared to take abreak from it because i know that's just the mental illness talking and i should just suck it up and pull through. i could if i tried.

but the problem is i cant find a reason to try.

i feel like a sim. like a simulation just going through the ropes, making the body movements that constitute a behaviour. but im not actually doing them. i barely comprehended that i made dinner last night, it kinda...spawned. bangers and mash it was. first cooked meal in a long time. beats whatever frozen thing i shove into the oven.

i get up, have breakfast, pass the time and just eat whenever i feel hungry, and before i know it, it's time to sleep. every day blurs into one.

i know this all sounds melodramatic but it's how i feel. i hate myself for only being able to express my misery through dumb tumblr posts hidden under readmores. thats not the way to get help. i want help, and i know i need it. but that requires me to believe that i am worth saving.

but i am not worth saving.

if this is what life has to be then i dont know.

i just. wish i could feel like things will be okay one day. that there is an end to this.

im going to bed.

it's been a. weird past 7 days or so.

[thesolotomyhan]

a/n: ahora si como chingados no- yes it is my very own familiar clown shoes squeaking as i emerge through the tumblr doors once more,, so sorry for the sudden disappearance but aqui estoy mis amorcitos with yet another bs rambling of some of our fav men that im sliding across the table to the small handful of you guys that are still here,, so please love me- enjoy! 

warnings: nsfw!  -some are heavily nsfw others are not,, i was really just rolling the ball here with no directions/plans lol so yehh + i….. was too lazy not in the mood to edit so sorry on that part mis bebes

benjamin:

mi precioso hombre,, i have forever had a soft spot for him since s1 and i just cant even begin to explain it as many of you know if youve been around for that long but anyways i want to talk about something for him and i wish to share those thoughts with you guys so here we go,,, ive said it before and im going to repeat it again,, he is so vanilla, the most vanilla fucking man here besides like güero so i just fucking know,, something that he’s never thought of in the intimate aspect of your relationship will make this man blush like crazy because i feel like he wont ever pressure you or even think of something crazy when he initiates the intimacy,,but if you ever wanted to do/try something youre going to have to be the one to start it off first to get him going and:)) if he ends up enjoying it :))) which most of the time he does:)) he will not fucking :) hesitate to take things into his own hands :) and initiate it for you later on down the road:))) so really in the end you just have to break the thin ice first for him first to keep doing it :)) and you want to know what i had in mind after i have stated and laid my case down?? you wearing lingerie for this enamorado hombre - now i know its not such a big thing.surprise but it is for me mfs,, but please,, can you just imagine for a moment with me him never having the thought of you, his mujer wearing such clothing ?? like this mf already finds you the most drop dead-gorgeous dama in his eyes with whatever you wear and look like,, so even the idea of him seeing you in lingerie hasnt crossed his mind once since he never realized why he would buy such fabric when you already look extravagant,, so the fucking day it happened,, the day you wouldve bought lingerie on your own account and planned to surprise him,, would be the day he could feel his heart fucking falter for a solid minute when he looks at you wearing it after you reveal it to him,, , like his thoughts stopping all at once, suddenly his hands feel too clammy and for him it starts to feel like the rooms temperature just raised for no reason other than to have him swallow thickly and sit up straighter from where hes at,, his eyes solely trained on you and the way you would be looking like un pinshe reina del mundo wearing lingerie,, all of his thoughts diminishing right on the spot he cant form any words to even compliment you its like benjamin.exe has stopped fucking working, hes suddenly shy because hes such at a total loss of words and he thinks hes acting like a menso for not even saying a slight word of his happy reaction,,, and yet his eyes cant help but roam every part of you like youre some piece of art to him hes studying in that exact moment and wow he would be just so shook to his core that he’s just frozen in place but looking at you with so much adoration and surprise that you would do this for him- and just the way you would saunter up to him, your hands coming up to wrap around his shoulders,, your legs going to either side of him straddling him,, his own hands naturally coming up to hold your hips,, his soft and innocent eyes staring up at your face as he just sits there wonderstruck, his voice coming out in a short and hoarse whisper you almost miss it if the room wasnt so quite like “que es esto, mi amor? porque- ” his hesitant hands caressing the fabric covering your most intimate areas,, the words in his mouth just dying without ever coming out when he sets his eyes onto your body up close to him, and just letting you bring your lips down onto his, you smiling into his lips when you hear the happy and content sigh he lets out,, him feeling the way your hands would come to his chest and gently push him down to have him fully relaxed under you and you bringing your lips over to his ear going “dejame ayudarte relajar benjamin” letting one of your hands travel down to begin unbuckling his pants,, the smirk on your face growing when your hear the way his breath hitches as he takes a deep breath and wow so sorry i can t  ill just leave this for interpretation,,,, , unless jkjk ok bye for now

rafa:

si es cierto,, i had the sudden call of love for mi toxico loco today and for the topic in question for him,,,  i want to go over the idea of him having a thing for seeing you wear the gifts/things he would buy for you alright,,, and first before we get into it, i want to establish that i would imagine this might  be this mans love language too because for him there just isnt enough words or even gestures to express to you how much he actually adores you so to top off his words he would love to spoil you with these expensive ass gifts like jewelry or even like clothing ya know?? and just getting to see the way your smile would come to match his will forever have this man on cloud 9 in love with you,, so from there i can just see his progression of gift giving becoming his love language to you to express what words cant for him and even if you tell him over and over again you dont need another pair of earrings or yet another trip to somewhere nice he cant help but want to do those things for you because he downright wants to do them to spoil you and express his pinshe amor entero for you and wow but back to where we were,,  i am just thinking about the idea of him having you on top of him,, the two of you fully undressed expect for this boujee ass necklace thats sitting prettily on your chest after he gifted it to you that day, bouncing along with you while you would be moving your hips to slick repeatedly on top of him,, your arms would be around his neck to give yourself stability,, his own hands would be gripping your hips to slam your hips down onto his wow,, him grunting out while he just watches you crease your eyebrows together,,  moaning his name out, its all youre really focused on other than you trying to keep up with his thrusts,,, him leaning down to kiss along your chest, one of his hands coming to play with one of your breasts just letting his hand wander up over your necklace to the side of your neck and bring your head down towards him,, giving you this smile as the both of you are just breathless and him going “te amo verte asi para mi” i omg,,, and sometimes it doesnt even have to be jewelry like i said previously because could you imagine him also having a thing for seeing you in like these  new heels you bought for you ,,, him just having you laid out beneath him wearing just those,, your legs spread and him holding them open,, him staring down at you struggling to stay still while he pushes into you repeatedly your body sliding up the bed covers but him pulling you down towards him every time,, wow um him tossing one of your legs over his shoulder,, him kissing your calf while he chuckles down at you like “te gusto tu regalo, mi amor” i - excuse me

ramon:

so i may or may not have been stuck on him for a good minute on what area i could focus on him for without it overlapping some,,,,, other things im planning on writing for him so hang in there while i take you on this spontaneous fucking joyride with our beloved ramon because maybe it’s me and my weird ass brain or heh maybe one of you guys can get on board with me but could…..you ……. imagine ….. how hot …… car sex would be with him???? anyone? ill just ramble anyways if you dont mind but god,,, it’s something about it for me that makes me feel like this would be so hot and heavy me entienden? i mean the close proximity thats inbetween you both, that your chests are both essentially always touching or pressing into each others with whatever movement either of you make,,, the way his hands would have to be on your hips yours on his shoulders and both of your eyes on eachother because that’s all what you’re both focused on and nothing else,, the both of you feeling content with the reactions you both get out of eachother in this moment, its what keeps on encouraging you both to keep going and make your movements faster,,,,  the way how the minimal and closed space would be have you both, that it just makes the breathing hotter and heavier by the seconds, and wow so im just over here imagining the way his beard would be harshly rubbing into your soft skin everytime your body bounces up and down repeatedly on top of him,, his fingers cant help but squeeze and grip you a little harder everytime he helps you bring your hips to slam down onto his continuously,, his eyes would be wandering every part of your skin the small space allows him to, just him being mesmerized with the way he watches your eyes roll into the back of your head every time he feels his cock bury itself deeper into your slick heat,, your neck littered with the small bites he left behind,, your breasts bouncing along with the movement of your hips,, your lower stomach grazing against his with the way you would be arching into him,, wow and one of his favorites views would be when he finally lets his eyes land down to where youre both connected,, your tight pussy swallowing him whole,, your slick coating both his cock and thighs as the lewd sounds fill the car up mixing in with your moans of his name, he cant help but groan out your name too and shoot you a quick smirk when he feels your hand thats on his shoulder grip him harder and your other hand thats tangled in his hair tightening when he starts to thrust up into you, his hands moving to hold onto your ass instead, just pushing your body up and down onto him at his own fast pace just so he can watch the way your eyebrows scrunch together even more,, your breaths coming out heavier and the cries leaving your mouth progressively becoming louder as the windows of the car become even more foggier if possible,, him leaning his lips down onto your skin exposed in front of him to litter even more marks onto you,, the vulgar sounds of both of your skins meeting just intoxicating you both even more, and just - the feeling of his beard scratching your soft skin overwhelming you as it mixes in with how deep you feel his cock hit inside of you, his lips never parting away from you and his grip becoming harder and harder with every bounce of your body- all of this just bringing your mind into overdrive feeling all your built up emotions and pleasure about to implode any second if he keeps it going and wow- i am so sorry for providing this fucking flilth out of nowhere

mayo:

ayy mi mayito,, mi esposo y amor de mi pinshe vida entera ,, you already know me so well if you saw this coming once you saw me talking about all these men that  i just had to fucking include my favorite golden man so here we go and this time for him,, im not really going for a specific scenario,, ill just be talking about a general idea i have had fucking lingering in my head for far too long so why not share that today- and to set the scene i just love the idea of the way this mf’s eyes would rake all over you when hes on the phone talking about his business, its the very thing that got me imagining the way he would just fucking love to eye fuck you whenever you push those buttons on him whether its when youre all dressed up when youre heading somewhere with him or if its at home with him and you just so happen to wear something that catches his eye,,, and to just further expand into where i want to head into today,, i most definitely want to talk about you both being at home if you already didnt catch my drift at the beginning of this shit because in my far away imagination,, i just picture you wearing either this nice ass- expensive fuvkingg looking lingerie or just in your normal bra and underwear while wearing one of his shirts in either options because for 1.  you might find it comfortable wearing such things when its just the two of you and your comfortable but 2 you also cannot fucking help but love to see the way this stupid mf would do a double take when he actually sets his eyes on you walking around in just that in front of him like youre not trying to provoke him at all- and i just,, the way i imagine this going is that youre walking around “minding your own business” giving him the best show that you can by sauntering around and having his shirt barely open so he can get a small glimpse of what youre wearing, shooting him this teasing smile when he meets your eyes him having  this warning glint in his eyes because asi te va ir  once hes done on the phone wow like this whole thing even gets him to loose his train of thoughts to whoever was on the other line of the phone when he continues to shift his attention onto you because now all he can focus on is the way your looking at him not showing him enough skin in his eyes and hes just so intoxicated with you he has to use any fucking common sense he still barely has to look away from you for a second to focus back into his conversation but still letting his eyes occasionally wander back to your form y ay no,, i just imagine the way he sits up a little straighter,, manspreading even more than he already is when he watches you get up and start walking over to him it would have him just cutting off whoever was on the other line like “sabes que, mejor te llamo despues para seguir hablando, se me surgio algo” and woWW it is the very way i imagine him looking up at you,, grabbing your hand before you walk past him, giving you that dumbass smirk he does like “que paso mi reina?” just trying to lead you to come stand directly in front of him so he can pull you into him but lightly chuckling when you wont budge, you going “ya acabaste de hablar para que me haces caso?” and i just cant because the way he would have this amused glint in his eyes as he looks at you,, nodding and you just continuing on like “andale pues, que quiero estar arriba de ti hoy-” giving him this full on fucking smirk out of nowhere,, your hand untangling from his so you can bring it up across his arm to his shoulder not giving him a chance to respond back to you as you strut away because i can just imagine the way he lets out a deep breath, his eyes watching you as you saunter away, meeting your eyes when you throw off his shirt and disappear around the corner wow him throwing his head back all frustrated and amused like “puta madre-”,, already moving to get up and follow you with this small laugh - ok wow that is my mf dream with this man so sorry

amado:

Again- AGAIN it’s something about leather jackets and men that make me lose my common brain cells because imagine this with me will you? it’s something about that leather jacket he had on at the end of ep6 in s3 for me because all I could imagine for a solid 5 minutes besides that whole  exquisite scene of the restaurant and boat fire thing with that pinshe cancion,,,  was his jacket,, his black leather fucking jacket would def smell of cologne go ahead and try to say something else because i am going to stand my ground and go down dying and if that doesnt fit your taste,, can i bring you on over to the next display?? because that one jacket he had in s2 ep3 would always give me some sort of feeling,,im not really sure if its the way he would wear it that made me feel some way or if its the way i imagined this following scenario, but to be totally honest it could downright be both so what the hell am i even talking about but just- someone tell me im not the only one ok? Because the reason behind me gushing over his jackets so much brings me to my presentation i am going over today,, because when i think of amados jackets all my brain forcibly rewires itself to think about is the way you would be looking like wearing them with nothing underneath,,, him under you where he has his hands holding onto you by your hips,, the way his eyes just cant focus on either your face or the way your body bounces on top of him with only his jacket covering your small frame because hes constantly moving his attention between both of those things while he groans out at the feeling of your warm walls around him- and just the way he would consistently toss his head back a little when he feels the way you squeeze around him, the way your ass would be snapping against his thighs everytime your hips come down fully onto him, your loud moans sounding like straight up music to his ears as he brings his eyes back onto you - and he just cant fucking help it when you start to say his name, your back arching into him it brings your hot body to press against him,, his jacket being the only slightly cool thing against him as he brings one of his arms to wrap around your waist under the jacket,, your breasts spilling out of his jacket from the movement as he grunts out from that sight alone,, wow- his other hand thats unoccupied coming to play with your nipple as he brings his lips to your exposed neck,, his arm tightening around you as he rams his hips up into you to meet your bounces midway but chuckling into your skin when he feels your body lose all control,, your moans becoming louder as you bring your arms around to hold onto his shoulders,, everything from his touch, to the way his cock would be drilling up into you and the way his jacket would be making you sweat,, making you feel so physically hot  and youre just completely hysterical in your sex driven state,, all you can focus on is his cock sliding and dragging against every part inside of you,, that youre just overwhelmed how good he feels filling you up and wow this is just one of the many ways of imagining you wearing his jackets for me -s0 please anyone else feel me? with his jackets? no ? just me??? ok

kitty:

listEN you would be straight up fucking lying to me if his pool scene,, where he’s shirtless?? with those shoulders and expanse of his back and chest he carries?? HELp me didnt at least give you some sort of feeling because WOW- am i wrong in this area? no and i will not hear any oppositions to this, i just wont - so to really take a turn in things here i will actually not be talking about the way i imagined him fucking you in the pool but rather :)) him :) going down :)))) on you :))) in/by the p o o l :)))) because get this maybe its just a day where you both are in the pool- playing around with eachother,, pasadonse a toda madre with one another- a fun day if you will together or if you dont know how to swim,, maybe a day where he teaches you how :) but either route i can just see it end up somewhere where :) he picks you up from your thighs after playing around with eachother maybe like after splashing each other for shits and giggles ya know :)) but anyways you having your hands push back some of his hair when he lifts you up,, the both of you just letting out these small giggles against your lips,, his hold on you becoming stronger,, him leaning up to kiss you as he slowly moves you both back into one of the walls of the pool just this whole ass makeout session coming out of nowhere, that it has you bringing your hands up to grasp onto his shoulders,, his own hands holding you up by the underside of your thighs as you wrap them around his waist, he cant help but involuntarily move his hips against you,, your small whimpers encouraging him further as he just gets lost in you wow umm- him just proceeding to move his lips down your neck when you pull away to breathe,, your little unfaltering movement of your hips against him has him lightly grunting against you as he forces your body to emerge from the water, and place you on the edge of the pool, his upper body fitting perfectly in between your legs as he quickly moves to take off your panties , one of his hands coming to throw one of your legs over his shoulder as he shoots you a small smirk, his other hand moving your other leg thats not on his shoulder to the side to spread your legs even wider for him,,his lips peppering small kisses up your legs, his eyes never leaving the way your face begins to scrunch up,, your chest rising and falling a bit more rapidly from the anticipation of seeing him in between your legs, and before you can even process anything or say something to him youre cut off by a loud mewl escaping from your lips when you feel him attach his mouth down onto your slit,, your hands coming to quickly grasp onto his hair, his name leaving your mouth like a prayer as you feel his tongue continue to run up and down your folds,, you getting to urge to move your eyes down to him when you watch him hike your dangling leg up even further to have more access to you,, wow his eyes wandering up to yours to bore into you,, his unoccupied hand coming up to play with your breast,, smiling into you when he hears his name and moans slip out of your mouth, him letting the vibrations of his muffled voice rumble into you when he feels your hand in his hair tangle even harder into him,, im sorry but wow the way he would bring his lips up to swirl your swollen and sensitive clit thats just begging to be played with by him as his ears fill up with the noises hes coaxing out of you  i cant do this- him just chuckling into your wet pussy as he watches the way your body tenses up,, the involuntary movement of your hips against his face and tightening of your fingers in his hair setting off something proud in him,, your moans becoming louder with every flick of your clit he does with his tongue,, his fingers coming up to push into you slowly ,, his smile growing even wider as he just looks at you falling apart around his mouth and fingers,, him fucking saying something cocky like “ahorita me vas a mostrar como te enseñé a mover esas hermosas piernas para mi, mi amor” bye im going to go walk the path of shame for this -  

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amado tag: @mylovepedro 

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[mackenzielovee]

ambivalence blurb: escort - rafe cameron

a/n: im sorry this gif literally fits so well i cant handle it lmao. this is the last one before the epilogue!! i'm so excited. please leave me a comment, let me know what you think! xoxo

Warnings: swearing, underage drinking

series masterlist

Topper sprawls himself on the floor of your living room, throwing Scott's mini basketball up in the air and catching it with ease. He look bored, and the reason for that is simple. He is.

"Isn't that weird?" you ask him, lounging on the couch.

"Yes," he sighs, agreeing with you because he has to, "Very weird that Rafe was staring at you a lot last night."

"I know," you continue, ignoring his bored, emotionless voice, "I mean, what the hell is his issue?"

"Who knows," Topper replies, throwing the ball up once more.

"God, I wish we didn't have these stupid dinners. I mean, it's bad enough my parents bring up college every time we sit down, and now Rafe?"

Topper groans once again, "I think you're overreacting a little."

"Really?" you raise a brow.

He sits up now, staring directly at you, "Well, what were you wearing last night?"

"I - shut up, idiot," you roll your eyes.

"I'm just saying, maybe he thinks you're hot."

It's a risky step, and Topper knows it. But, his patience with Rafe has run thin. If he can gauge your feelings toward Rafe, he can handle the situation from here on out.

"Trust me, he doesn't. We don't even talk to each other."

Topper frowns, "Do you ever try to talk to him?"

"No," you admit.

"Maybe you should."

You swallow his words, then shrug. What the hell would be the point in making friends with Rafe? Just so the two of you could have mediocre small talk once a week while you listen to your dads talk business? Nothing great would come out of it, you're sure.

"So, you wanna watch something tonight? Order Chinese?" you change the subject, holding your hands up in the air.

He tosses you the ball with ease, giving you a beat to throw it back before he responds.

"Can't," he replies, "Plans with the guys."

Your jaw falls, "You just let me ramble on about Rafe, and now you're hanging out with him tonight?"

"Relax," Topper laughs, throwing you the ball once more, "I'd never tell him anything."

Mostly because it would hurt his feelings, he thinks. Just telling Rafe about this conversation would upset him.

"I'm not worried about that."

Topper raises his eyebrows, but ultimately decides not to comment further on that statement. He just stands up, throws the ball at you one last time, then reaches for his keys and wallet.

"Can I give you a friendly word of advice?" he speaks, looking mindlessly at his phone, "Maybe, I don't know, just open your mind up to the possibility of it."

"It?" you question.

"Rafe," he clarifies, "Maybe, he's not as bad as you seem to think he is."

"I'll think about it," you shrug, more or less to get him to let it go.

Topper smiles successfully, then walks over and ruffles his hand through your hair. It irritates you, just like he knew it would, and laughs when you swat at his arm. You know he's leaving, but you don't want him to.

"You sure you don't want to ditch them?"

He chuckles, "I can't. I'm sorry. It's a late birthday thing for Kelce, and you know how seriously he takes his birthday."

"I do," you smile.

"Talk to you later," he gives you a small smile.

"Have fun," you call, watching him walk toward the front door. He turns back and gives you a wave, then leaves you alone to find a way to fill your time.

"You think he's for real?"

"Moving on?"

"Yes. Look at him, bro."

"Whatever the fuck he's talking about, he's super into it."

Topper and Kelce are frozen in the middle of the crowded floor at the bar, staring at Rafe as he leans heavily on the bar, practically relying on it to help him remain upright. This girl had approached him about ten minutes ago, and the boys had been captivated ever since, watching their best friend work the magic they both knew he had, but rarely uses.

"She's hot as fuck," Kelce laughs.

"She is," Topper agrees, downing the rest of his drink, "Gonna go see if he needs a wingman."

Topper, who is on his way to dangerously drunk, stumbles over to his best friend, ready to order another drink. He doesn't let Rafe see him coming, wanting to overhear his game.

"And, y'know, she's been wearing her hair differently lately-" Rafe slurs, leaning closer to the girl, "All wavy. Drives me fuckin' insane. I mean, she'd drive me crazy any way, but - did I show you a picture?"

"You showed me four."

"Oh," Rafe frowns, draining the rest of his glass.

"She's beautiful," she smiles politely, setting her hand on his arm.

"Isn't she?" Rafe nods, signaling the bartender for another.

Topper clenches his jaw and sighs, slapping Rafe hard on the shoulder to get his attention.

"Dude," Topper hisses when Rafe spins.

"Buddy!" Rafe cheers, "Look, c'mere, this is-"

Rafe closes his eyes, focusing all his attention on trying to remember the girl's name. He hears her chuckle from behind him, and his shoulders fall.

"Brooke," she waves to Topper.

"Hi, Brooke. I'm Topper, and you know Rafe, yeah?" he waits for her to nod before he continues, "You'll have to forgive his bitch ass for blabbing about this girl. Trust me, he's very single."

As if to tempt Rafe to agree, Topper slaps him again on the back. Rafe just rocks with the hit, then yanks his fresh drink off the bar.

"Not looking though," Rafe waves his drink through the air, "Sorry, Brooke."

"It's okay," she laughs, and much to Topper's surprise, Brooke takes a seat for the first time since she'd come over to speak to him.

"Stop talking about Y/N," Topper hisses in his ear.

Rafe shakes his head, "Can't. All I think about. Should get her to come out here."

"She's not going to want to come to a club when you're drunk off your ass, Cameron," Topper grunts.

"Call her, then. Just wanna hear her voice. Please."

Topper glances to Brooke, who's smiling sadly at the drunk boy. When she looks up at Topper, she just shrugs.

"I told him he needs to tell her about his feelings. Maybe calling her is a good idea," Brooke volunteers, earning a point and an approving nod from Rafe.

"Bro, I don't think-"

"You're such a dick, Top," Rafe grunts, swiping Topper's phone from his hand, "What's y'password?"

"Rafe, you have her phone number."

"She won't pick up for me."

Brooke and Topper both watch as he pauses after he speaks, swallowing down his emotions and his pride as those words float through the air and straight into his heart. He looks up after a moment and tries different four number combinations to gain entry into Topper's phone.

"Fine," Topper agrees, taking his phone back from Rafe, "But, you always wind up breaking your own heart, man."

"Yeah, yeah," Rafe waves him off, swallowing even more of his drink as the excitement of her being close, even just her voice, builds in his chest.

Topper dials her, against his better judgement, and relaxes when it rings four times. She's busy, she won't pick up. Rafe will have to let this bullshit go.

"Hello?"

Rafe's lips part, but no sound comes out. He's frozen, unsure of what to say, or if he should even say anything.

"Hey," Topper scrambles, only now realizing he has no idea what to say.

"Hey, Top. What's up?"

Rafe hums at the sound of her voice, letting his eyes close as he breathes her in. Brooke reaches up and rubs his back, but he doesn't even feel it. He just feels her.

"Um," Topper shrugs at Rafe, "Kelce's drunk ass has nobody to flirt with. Wanna come out?"

She laughs, and Rafe swears he's never heard a more beautiful sound.

"Miss her," he says to Brooke, attempting to whisper, but failing when Topper shoves his shoulder.

"Should've asked me hours ago. Guess what I'm doing right now?"

Rafe's eyes pop open, furrowing his eyebrows at Topper, "What?"

"John B asked me to hang out. I'm heading over to his place."

Rafe feels his heart fall to his feet, head swaying around as he starts to feel the amount of alcohol hitting him. The image of her hanging out with anyone, let alone someone like John B, the only form of torture that can actually get to him.

"Oh," Topper fakes enthusiasm, patting Rafe's shoulder, "Shit. That's good. You into him?"

Rafe inhales sharply, awaiting her answer.

"Yes," she laughs, her grin noticeably wide, even through the phone.

"Good, good," Topper nods, "Have fun. Details at work tomorrow, yeah?"

"For sure," she replies, "Be safe, Top. Have a good night."

"Thanks. Bye."

He gives Rafe a sympathetic smile, but doesn't say anything this time. He'd warned him beforehand, and there's only so many times Topper can tell Rafe to move on before he no longer feels sad for the guy.

Instead, he orders another drink, then tells Rafe he's going to go find Kelce. Rafe just nods and waves him away, unable to get the picture of her and John B out of his head. He turns to the side, realizing Brooke is still beside him.

"I'm sorry," she brushes his arm, "She just doesn't know how lucky she is."

He looks over at her, a somber expression lining his eyes, creasing his forehead. Her heart breaks for him; maybe it's the alcohol, maybe it's her desire to be loved like that.

"I'm the lucky one, Brooke," he sighs, "Sit beside her once a week and stare at her. Can't even help it, how do you not stare at someone who looks like that, y'know? Even if I never get her, even if John fucking Routledge gets her, least I know her. Know her better than anyone."

Brooke smiles, "Why won't you tell her then, Rafe? I mean, what would you lose?"

"What would I lose?" he repeats, scoffing as he swallows even more of his drink, "Her. She doesn't feel the same. S'obvious. She wouldn't sit next to me anymore, if she even would come to dinners at all. Take what I have now over nothin' at all. One day, Brooke. One day, she'll notice me. Swear it."

She motions to the bartender, then orders a drink before she speaks again, "I really hope so. You deserve to be loved back."

With one last encouraging pat, Brooke takes her fresh drink and stands up, moving away from the boy. Topper and Kelce find him soon after, all three of them relying on each other to remain upright as they await their Uber. When they arrive back at Tannyhill, Rafe so drunk that he falls into the bushes in the front yard, yet he doesn't feel a thing. All he feels, all he sees, is her.

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[turtle-steverogers]

i was thinking but do you know the unsent project? it is this website where you can write a message to your first love that you never sent to them. now imagine steve writing one (or multiple) to bucky after he came out of the ice after nat told him about it... yeah

hello hi anon this broke me and it was too perfect not to turn into a ficlet klafjldskjfalskf thank you

-

Unsent Letters

To:

Steve’s fingers freeze over the keyboard, the cursor blinking at him. It feels like it’s taunting him-- teasing him with the burden of choking out a name. What should he even say? The sender is anonymous, but how many people are named Bucky out there? Would anyone even care?

To: Bu

Steve huffs and backspaces, his hands trembling as he curls them into fists. He isn’t sure what provoked Natasha to tell him about this website. It’s a cruel tease to everything he wishes he could say-- wished he could say before Bucky slipped through his fingers. And now his only option is yelling into an abyss. The text box is black and daunting. He turns it yellow. No, too happy. Green. Yes, that’s fine. Bucky’s favorite color was always green.

His gaze wanders away from the screen of his hefty Dell laptop and out the window of his apartment. DC’s low rising buildings span out in front of him. His gut aches; he misses New York already. But he knows being there would only mangle his soul further, seeing his already alien home torn to shreds by literal space whales. He huffs, thinking of Bucky’s comics. His stories came to life after all. Bucky would have probably vibrated out of his skin if he knew there was other life out there.

To: My astronaut

How’s space treating you? It’s treating me pretty badly, if I’m being honest. If only you could see what it’s done to Brooklyn. I think you’d be pretty mad at it if you knew…

Steve hesitates, reading back over what he’s typed. It’s stupid as hell, and he cringes, but he doesn’t backspace. His fingers find the keys again.

I miss you something awful. I don’t think that even encompasses how much I’m hurting without you. I feel so lost right now-- space is much bigger and scarier than you’d think. I know you’d love it. I wish you could see bits of it, but god, I just want to go home. I want you to come home.

Steve freezes again and finds the screen blurry where tears have welled in his eyes. His jaw clenches as he pictures the way Bucky would laugh at him-- teasing him for his dramatics and ruffling his hair. He wishes he could be there now, rolling his eyes and nudging Steve’s shoulder.

“What’re you upsetting yourself for?” He’d say, gently closing the laptop and coaxing Steve into his arms. “I’m right here, pal.”

And if Steve closes his eyes, he can almost feel Bucky’s warmth enveloping him. But he’s not there. He’s dead, and Steve’s a goddamn ghost, drifting through a future that doesn’t know him.

He opens his eyes and stares at the text box, then clicks submit.

The screen loads, and his message is gone, his pain forever documented in the abyss.

-

For someone who fought aliens two weeks after waking up from his impromptu seventy year sleep, Steve’s life is pretty monotonous. He contemplates this unfortunate fact as he stands in front of his toaster, hair sticking up on the back of his head as he nurses a mug of coffee and waits for his toast to pop.

It’s 5:45 in the morning and he tries to remember a time when he didn’t rise this early. Before the war, perhaps. Though, he’s always been a bit of an early bird. His home life was sporadic to put it lightly and he’d learned from an early age that the sooner he was awake, the better it was for everyone. Vigilance is not a new concept for Steve.

He hasn’t always stayed up late, though. That’s certainly new, and he feels this fact viscerally as he catches sight of his reflection in the microwave. There are bags under his eyes that will be gone by mid-morning thanks to the serum. Dermatologists hate him, Natasha says. Steve thinks he’s pretty lucky that the serum more or less equipped him with a built-in anti-aging agent. His father had started balding by thirty.

His toast pops and he starts a little, blinking blearily at the slightly burnt bread as he pulls it out of the toaster with his thumb and forefinger. He spreads on the same raspberry jam and butter that he uses every morning and tries not to think of how bland it tastes in his mouth as he eats it standing at the counter. Another routine.

He tries not to look at last night’s dishes in the sink as he stacks his plate and silverware on top and doesn’t bother sorting out his hair before pulling on his sneakers and slipping out of his apartment. The sun hasn’t quite risen yet, only the beginning tendrils of light sneaking over the low tops of the DC buildings, and Steve vaguely regrets not grabbing a sweatshirt before he left. It’s not quite Summer yet and the mornings could still get pretty cool.

He’s about to take off down the street when he freezes. Natasha is sitting on the steps of his complex, wearing a pair of pink tinted sunglasses and tossing up and down the keys to her car. Steve blinks, rubs his eyes, then blinks again. Nope. She’s still there.

“Nat?”

Natasha looks up at him and smiles. “Hello.”

Steve shifts, uncomfortable. “Hi. You need something? Is there a mission?”

“No,” Natasha says lightly, standing. “You’re not running this morning, though. Come on, I’m taking you to Starbucks.”

“What?”

“Starbucks. You’re going to try it.”

“I don’t want--”

“Steve, you do the same thing every day. Step out of your comfort zone a little.”

Steve frowns, but Natasha’s right-- he really doesn’t ever stray from his routine.

“Fine,” he says, and twenty minutes later, they’re strolling into the nearest Starbucks.

He’s only been in one before, and that was to use the restroom while on a run. He’d bought a water bottle in an attempt to not be rude and use their facilities without giving them any business, but he hadn’t even considered the expansive menu. All the fancy names were too daunting.

They’re just as daunting now as he stares up at the board, heart hammering out of his chest as he’s faced with indecision. Natasha takes one look at his face, and reaches out to squeeze his arm.

“I’ll order something for you,” she says. “What kind of coffee do you like?”

Steve gives her a pained look. “Um… just coffee?”

Natasha quirks a smile and orders him something called a caramel macchiato. He’ll take it, he guesses.

The drink is too damn sweet and sugary and he almost gags. Still, he was always told to finish what he was given, so he drinks the whole thing.

-

To: Mr. Sweet Tooth

You’d fucking love it here. Everything is packed with sugar and sweetness-- enough to make even my teeth rot. I had something called a caramel macchiato today and it tasted like someone took your ma’s caramels and condensed them into a cup. I couldn’t stand it, but I know if you were here, you’d want at least twelve. I hope you’re enjoying all the sweets you can up in space.

Love, Mr. Boring

-

Steve’s fingers are stiff and frozen as he works at the straps of his stealth suit. The tangy taste of saltwater still sits heavy on his tongue, and he clenches his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering too harshly as he finally peels off his suit. It’s not much better, being naked, but at least the wet fabric isn’t clinging to him anymore.

The mission had been pretty straightforward until some alien tech managed to blast the quinjet to kingdom come, and they all free-fell straight into the freezing Atlantic.

Steve had managed to keep it together as they took down the goddamn mad scientist that fucked them over, but now that he’s home and alone, he can feel the adrenaline crashing.

He’s shaking from more than just the cold as he draws himself a warm bath, and he pulls his knees up to his chest, trying to breathe through the panic that wants to engulf his entire being.

He loses time for a bit, and comes back to himself lying in his bed, burrowed under several thick layers. He feels so cold, down to his very soul-- a chill that he can never seem to truly shake, even when he’s warm.

Not for the first time, he wishes Bucky were there to hold him. He slips off to sleep thinking old, comforting thoughts of Bucky rubbing his hands between his own, coaxing his head under his chin to engulf him in that natural warmth of his. He always was a fucking furnace.

But when Steve wakes an hour later, shaking hard enough to move the bed with the force of the nightmare he’d dropped into, Bucky is not there to soothe away the ice.

-

To: JB

im so cold and i cant breathe ever and nothing feels right. I dont know what to do, u were always the problem solver between us and i cant think straight right now and i just want you here please. I cant do this anymore, im so tired please come back. I need you please

-

The Winter Soldier file sits in front of Steve-- a horrifying nightmare wrapped up in a neat brown folder. Residual nausea swirls around in his gut as he comes down from the horrible high of reading through the contents. His hands shake where they grasp the thick paper. His heart clenches hard in his chest.

Bucky is alive. Bucky is alive, and he’s been unmade.

Steve doesn’t know where he is-- if he’s escaped, or if Hydra found him again. It’s been three weeks now since the helicarriers, and he’s only just gotten the courage to sit down and wade through the shit that is Bucky’s reality.

He just hopes he’s safe. God, he hopes.

Sam says he’ll help him look, and Steve needs to know he’s at least out of danger, but he barely knows where to start.

And he’s sorry. He’s so fucking sorry.

Blinking out of his reverie, Steve looks at his laptop. He feels strange and detached as he reaches for it and logs in.

To: Bucky

And yes, that feels right. He should use his name, since he suspects no one has for a long, long time.

I’m so sorry for what happened to you. I’m sorry that you’ve been hurting so quietly for so long. I understand if you’re not ready to come home-- I understand if you never are. I just hope that you know that there will always be a place with me that is safe. I love you so much and I’m here, forever and always.

Love, Steve.

He’s not naive. He knows it would be dangerous to submit that particular message, so he doesn’t. But that’s okay. That one’s just for him-- for them.

-

“Steve? What is the… Unsent Project?”

Steve frowns and pokes his head out of the kitchen. Bucky is sitting on the couch in the living room, using his laptop, because his own is having storage issues.

Bucky looks at him. “It’s one of your saved tabs. What is it?”

And oh, fuck. Steve had forgotten to remove that from his homepage-- it really wasn’t needed anymore. He blushes all the way to his ears.

“Oh, it’s-- nothing. Not anything important--”

But Bucky has already clicked on the tab.

“The Unsent Project,” he reads aloud. “A collection of unsent text messages to… first… loves…”

He trails off as he processes what he’s looking at, and Steve can’t quite read his expression when he looks at him again. His eyebrows are furrowed, and he’s looking at Steve like he’s some sort of kicked puppy. Steve shifts, uncomfortable.

“Were you sending me… messages? While I was dead?”

Steve swallows. “Um…” and now that Bucky says it out loud, it really does sound quite sad. He shrugs. “It’s Natasha’s fault?”

Bucky shakes his head, clicking on the search bar. He starts to type his name, but Steve shakes his head.

“I didn’t use your name.”

“Oh,” Bucky says, then frowns at him again. “What did you use?”

Steve blushes harder, sitting next to Bucky and taking the laptop from him.

“Um…” he hesitates, then types what he was sure he used as his first alias.

My astronaut

The screen buffers and loads, then fifty or so messages pop up. Steve scrolls down-- it doesn’t take long to find his.

They’re both quiet as they read, and Steve cringes. Jeez, he really had been pretty dramatic. Next to him, Bucky makes a hurt noise.

“Oh, honey,” he murmurs, taking the laptop back from Steve. He reads the message again, then once more, and reaches out for Steve. “Aw, I’m here now.”

Steve huffs, embarrassed. “I know,” he says. “That was way back, like, three weeks after I woke up.”

Bucky stills. “You fought aliens three weeks after you woke up?”

“... More like two.”

Bucky hums. “Are there others?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, reaching out to type on Bucky’s lap, because Bucky is holding him now and he’s quite reluctant to move. He thinks for a moment, then types in the next one he remembers.

Mr. Sweet Tooth

Bucky laughs, and Steve finds himself smiling.

“I find this funny,” Bucky says. “Because caramel macchiatos are definitely one of my favorites now.”

Steve laughs, too, and butts his head against Bucky’s shoulder.

“If only I could tell that to myself back then-- he’d be thrilled.”

“I’m sure,” Bucky says. “Any more?”

Steve hesitates, thinking of the one he’d sent after that nightmare-- when he was low and hurting. Incoherent. He isn’t sure he wants Bucky to see that particular side of his soul, but Bucky has been more than generous in letting him in on his pains nowaday, and it’s not like Bucky hasn’t witnessed Steve’s own current nightmares.

He bites his lip and types in JB. That seems to yield a lot more results, and it takes a while for Steve to find the message.

He hides his face in Bucky’s neck as he reads. Bucky’s arms gradually tighten around him, and a moment later, he feels him kiss the top of his head.

“Honey, I hate that you were hurting so bad,” Bucky mutters against his hair.

Steve shrugs. “We both were,” he says, and it’s true. There’s something to be said about the guilt they both feel for not being able to save the other person at their lowest, but life hasn’t been kind to them. The vitriol, Steve thinks, should be directed at the goddamn universe for keeping them apart, not themselves for fucking dying. They’re working on it.

Bucky’s quiet for a long time. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he says. “Is that it?”

Steve shakes his head. “But I never sent the last one.”

“Why not?”

“I wrote it after DC.”

He feels Bucky squeeze him again, and he squeezes back.

“Oh.”

“I just-- I wanted you to know that you didn’t have to come home. That I just wanted you to be safe; needed to know you were safe, but it was up to you. I just needed you to know I was here, if you needed me.”

Bucky pulls back then and cups his face, kissing him soundly. Steve’s surprised for only a moment before he’s kissing back.

“I did know that,” Bucky says against his lips. “I needed time-- I was lost-- but the first thing I knew when I remembered who you were was that you were a safe person, because you’d never force me anywhere.”

Steve kisses him again, then pulls him into a hug. “I’m glad you knew that.” It’s warm, where their chests meet, and Bucky is solid beneath him. Real. He isn’t speaking into an abyss anymore.

-

There’s a sticky note on Bucky’s pillow next to his head when he wakes up the next morning. Steve’s side of the bed is already vacant, and he can’t hear him downstairs. He must have already left for a run.

Propping himself on an elbow, Bucky plucks up the sticky note.

To: My Bucky

Thank you for choosing me to be your home, and thank you forever, for being mine.

I love you with everything I have.

Love, your Steve

Bucky smiles, heart light as he folds the notes. He’ll keep that one with him, he thinks. A little bit of home to bring wherever he goes.

-

anyway yeah fslkjflaskjfls i-- ouch. anything to do with letters w these two hurts me immensely

[nunufx]

Okay so I read your from nyc head cannon and loved it! I was wondering if you could have Class 1-A react to having a black!southern student. She could be from Texas, New Orleans, or Atlanta but she has a thick accent, calls a few students “Baby” , “Honey”, and “Sugar”(in a platonic way but let’s be real, it feels really good to be called that), goes down with her southern cooking in her bento, and is a great dancer. She may be sweet but she’ll fold anyone talking crazy to her like Mineta.

a/n: YES I LOVE THIS. also i’m not from the south so if anything is wrong or off, tell me and i’ll fix it😭 <3

warning mild swearing

pairing: class 1a x southern black reader

Student from New Orleans

you’re a transfer student from america and you’re from New Orleans

when you introduced your self in front of the class, the first thing everyone payed attention to was your accent.

when you told everyone you were from the southern part of america everyone just thought of ‘cOwBoYs’ ‘yEeHaW’ and all the typical stereotypes of the south

but boy did you prove them wrong

you got along great with girls and most of the boys...bakugou of course saw you as an extra

mineta claimed he had a fetish for your accent which you found creepy as hell and stayed far away from him

your cooking skills were amazing, they rivaled bakugous

on holidays when all the students weren’t able to see their parents, you would make your grandma secret gumbo recipe

AND LET ME TELL YOU, everyone was fighting for seconds

“DUMBASS MOVE OUT THE WAY YOURE ON YOUR THIRD PLATE” bakugou said to kaminari

“Y/N THIS FOOD IS SO MANLY I WANT MORE” kirishima said

“y/n this my 2nd favorite food now..behind cold soba of course” todoroki said

“EVERYONE GET IN A SINGLE FILE LINE AND BE CALM. ALSO Y/N CAN I PLEASE GET SECONDS” iida said

chile when i tell you even aizawa and all might came for some

and everyone was a sucker for your accent and found it pretty adorable (not like mineta tho)

the way you would call everyone “baby” “honey” and “sugar” in a platonic manner

“thanks for helping me with my work y/n” sero said. “you’re welcome baby” you said smiling sweetly. you walked away to talk with mina and mom. sero was frozen in seat. he knows you didn’t mean it in that way but it still gets his heart racing.

during training izuku would accidentally hit you to hard and you would end up going to recovery girl. “IM SO SORRY Y/N I DIDNT MEAN IT” izuku said. “it’s no problem sugar” you said smiling again. like sero, izuku also freezed.

sometimes you’ll be cooking with bakugou after he finally came over the fact there’s another cook in the dorm building. “bakugou can you pass me the salt please” you said. he quietly passed it. “thanks honey” you said and continued on with your task. this time it took him like 5 seconds to register what you said.

“HEY DONT CALL ME THAT” he said while turning away so you don’t see him blushing. “what ever you say...hun” you said smiling. bakugou lowly growls. but we all know he liked it. maybe you weren’t an extra after all.

you’re basically that black elder woman in the grocery stories that says “no problem sugar” when someone bumps into them by accident and quickly starts apologizing.

gotta let them know that black southern people are some of the nicest people you’ll ever meet

another thing is...you loved to dance.

mina also loved to dance, so you would teach her some moves you’d learned when growing up in the south.

around the beginning of february you would start to feel home sick.

and izuku would do some research as to why this time around was so important to you.

then he’d learn about mardi gras

so him and the others came up with a plan to decorate the common area to look close enough like mardi gras

kaminari would be used as a distraction.

he was advised to take you out and keep you away from the dorms until a certain time. although the secret almost slipped out cause you know...it’s kaminari.

“we just can’t go back just yet” he said

“but why not” you said

“because-...because-....hey look a bird” he said trying to change the subject

and when it finally got to the time to take you back he blind folded you.

“kaminari what are you doing”

“don’t worry y/n it’s all good”

he led you inside of the common area and took off the blind fold

“SURPRISE” everyone yelled

you looked all around and saw purple, yellow and green decorations. jazz music was playing.

some people had on those masks that goes over your eyes while others just had on the beaded necklaces.

“what’s all of this” you said smiling

“well we’ve noticed you’ve been feeling homesick for a while, so izuku came up with the idea to decorate the dorms so it can feel like home” uraraka said

“i’ve done some research and saw that a holiday named mardi gras is being celebrated back in new orleans right now. so since you cant go to new orleans, we brought it you” izuku said

you were so happy and your smile was big. “thank you guys, i appreciate it so much” you said wiping some tears away.

“ah ah ah, don’t cry now let’s celebrate” mina said putting a couple of necklaces over your head and on your neck.

that night was full of partying, even some students from other class came and some teachers and heros did too.

[dracowars]

Hii! So i have seen that your request is currently open! Also that you are kind of new here (i guess? Idrk)! I was wondering if i could request one? The story goes like draco pulls a prank on y/n (any kind really its up to you!) then later on showers her with his love (gift too because we all know he got the ✨ money money ✨ so thats it! (Its very fluffy im sorry) i hope you can do it totally alright if you cant tho!! I hope to see more of your works! God Bless💗

fun and games | draco malfoy

pairing: draco x slytherin!reader

word count: 3,3k

summary: where draco takes pranking y/n too far

a/n: thank you so so much for requesting! <3 since this is my first ever request i'm a little bit nervous >.< i really hope that you like it and that it lives up to your expectations! i feel honored that you trusted me with your request even though i'm still pretty new on here ♡

warnings: none

universe: harry potter

You can't remember when it started, you only know that it did and that it slowly starts to annoy the hell out of you. Not because you don't understand fun, you really do, but you can't even spend a quiet minute with your boyfriend Draco anymore since he started acting like Fred and George Weasley, always pulling a prank on you with every possibility he got.

Some of those were actually funny and made you laugh, but at some point it just got too much. Every time you are with him now, you expect something to happen. Whether it is that he calls you to him to show you fantastic beasts that do not exist, making you look like a fool while he laughs, or that he hides two of your belongings somewhere around Hogwarts, telling you that it is actually three objects that you then have to search for like crazy. He even gave you Veritaserum once, just to ask you an endless number of questions which you inevitably had to answer. All of that you already went through. But today was somewhat different.

Draco did not pull a prank on you for weeks now, which you can not complain about at all, in fact you are quite happy about it. After his last prank you asked him to finally stop and it seems like he listened to you. Still, something feels very weird.

You haven't seen Draco today, which is rather unusual for you and your relationship because neither of you can last longer than a few hours without the other. You have just come out of your Defense Against the Dark Arts class and look around the hallway, expecting to spot him somewhere, while your classmates walk past you to head to their break. Usually, Draco always picks you up after class so that you can spend time together until your next course. But you don't see him anywhere today.

At the end of the hallway you spot Fred and George trying to sell one of their newest and greatest inventions to a first-year. You shake your head and roll your eyes. These two are probably responsible that your boyfriend had his prank phase, even though he absolutely despises every Weasley. Of course Draco would never admit it, but you think that he copied a lot from them.

"Leave the poor child alone, Weasley's", you tell them while passing them, not wanting to wait longer for Draco to pick you up. Regrettably you shouldn't have opened your mouth because all of a sudden they apparate in front of you out of nowhere, making you flinch and taking a step back. "What, Y/N? Did I hear you correctly?", George says, wiggling his eyebrows at Fred. "You really want to test our new creation?", Fred adds with a smile.

"No, thank you. I've had enough of pranks lately", you assure them with a forced smile. Obviously offended by your statement, the red haired twins cross their arms over their chest, giving you a disapproving look before vanishing again. Shaking your head, you make your way to your common room, hoping to meet Draco on the way there. Unfortunately, that does not happen and you slowly start to have a bad feeling. Where is he?

Once you arrive in the dungeons, you say the password and enter the common room, which is cosy warm in contrast to the cold corridors outside. After all, it's winter; what else should you expect from the temperature? Several Slytherin's buzz around, sitting at the green fire or studying at the tables. But still, no sign of Draco.

You spot Crabbe and Goyle on one of the sofas, who have their eyes focused on you. As soon as they realize that you look back at them, they burst into giggles and look away as if nothing happened. Their weird behavior lets you frown in confusion. Before you can confront them about it, Pansy suddenly appears right in front of you and thus into your field of vision.

"Y/N! We want to go down to the lake in a few minutes. It's frozen solid for the first time this year! Do you want to join us?", she offers, her outfit already perfectly adapted to the cold temperature outside. "Do you know where Draco is?", you blurt out, not answering to her question at all. "No? Why would I?", Pansy responds irritated.

You loudly breathe out. "Nevermind. Enjoy your trip to the lake", you wish her and give her a small smile, then walk past her and towards your room in the girls' dormitories. You don't miss the look that Crabbe and Goyle give you as well as their giggles when you make your way out of the big room though.

While walking your gaze falls on something laying on the ground and you immediately stop in your tracks abruptly. You bend down and pick it up in amazement, a now much bigger smile forming on your lips. In your delicate hand you're now holding a rose petal. Looking in front of you, you notice more rose petals on the floor. They seem to show you the way to your room.

It must have been Draco, he definetely wants to surprise you after a stressful day, you are sure about that. Quickly and with unbelievable enthusiasm you follow the path to your closed door. You imagine how you will open the door and come into your room, there will be a romantic atmosphere with warm candlelight and Draco will lovingly greet you, hug you and kiss you until-

SPLASH

You have just opened the door when suddenly a huge mass of cold water falls down on you, completely soaking you from head to toe. Because of the shock and the sudden coldness surrounding you, you gasp for air. In front of you, you do not see your desired romantic atmosphere or any candles, but only your laughing boyfriend.

"I got you again!", Draco rejoices and praises himself while you can only watch him in shock. You look down at yourself and lift one of your feet out of the puddle beneath you which you are now standing in. Water drips from your hair and your uniform to the floor. Your boyfriend's cheeky laugh echoes in your ears. Slowly your whole body begins to tremble, although you are not sure wheather it comes from the cold water or from the anger boiling up inside of you.

Assuming that you find the successful prank as funny as he does, he keeps laughing, not noticing your anger yet. "Fred and George did the same prank with Weaselbee the other day, so I had to try it out as well. It worked! Crabbe and Goyle helped me set it up and-"

"I hate you so much!", you scream at him angrily, no longer able to keep your anger under control. Draco's expression falls immediately, obviously not expecting this kind of a reaction. You are still stiffly standing under the door frame, stretching your arms away from your body to somehow escape the extreme cold, water still running down, even under your clothes. "Why do you never know when it's time to stop?! I thought you wanted to surprise me!"

A little taken aback, Draco slowly approaches you while you are busy with wringing out your wet hair. "Don't you dare touch me now, Draco Malfoy!", you command and he obeys your words, stopping a few inches in front of you. "Love, it was just supposed to be fun..", he mumbles dejected, insecurely rocking back and forth on his feet, slowly realizing his mistake.

"Yeah, of course. For you it's always all fun and games until someone dies!", you angrily rebuke him. "I'm completely wet, I'm damned cold, as if it wasn't already cold enough outside, and all I wanted is to spend a relaxing and nice afternoon with my boyfriend who, as always, only got nonsense in his mind and not thinks about his girlfriend's feelings!", you complain, getting rid of your wet cloak while bumping into him with your shoulder as you walk past, throwing it onto your bed. You sit down next to it on the soft mattress and take off your soaking wet shoes as well. For a few minutes there is nothing but silence between you two.

"Y/N..", Draco breaks the silence, but you just shoot him a scathing glance, your lower lip now trembling from the coldness surrounding your body. "I don't want to hear anything, Draco. Really", you scoff and roll your eyes, standing up to finally get out of your uncomfortable clothes. "Can you leave, please? I want to change", you ask him reproachfully, but he doesn't move a single bit.

"I'm responsible for this so let me help you, okay? I'm sorry", he says, sincerity in his sad voice. You can't even answer him as he already pulls out his wand and casts a spell you don't recognize. The puddles on the floor disappear and your clothes are suddenly dry again. All that is left is the unbearable cold around you. Freezing, you draw your cloak tighter around you and give Draco a very small but thankful smile.

He looks at you thoughfully before spreading his arms to invite you into a warm hug, which you gladly accept. Even though you're mad at him, he still manages to make you soften again. You wrap your arms tightly around his waist and he gently strokes your back with one hand in hopes to warm you up at least a little bit, then places a gentle kiss of the top of your head and hugs you even tighter, pulling you closer to his much warmer body. He can clearly feel your body tremble against his. "I'm really sorry, love. I hope you can forgive me for my stupid behavior..", he breathes into your ear, loosening your arms around his waist to take your ice-cold hands in his.

He closely examines your face, searching for any hint of what your answer could be like. No longer able to resist his pleading stare and shimmering gray eyes, you slowly nod to assure him that you will forgive him. Of course you will; you love him way too much to let something this silly destroy your relationship. More than happy with your answer, he cups your cheeks between his hands, his silver ring coldy pressing against your skin, and gives you a loving kiss.

"I will make up for it, I promise", he speaks against your lips after you broke the kiss, his thumb caressing your lower lip softly. "As long as you stop those stupid pranks, idiot", you roll your eyes, still feeling a tiny bit upset about the incident. A little chuckle escapes his lips and he pulls you close against him again. "Let's warm you up first, hm?", Draco whispers and before you know it he has apparated both of you back into the common room. Because everyone left to go to the lake you're now completely alone in the big room.

Without your consent, Draco pulls you onto one of the couches near the fireplace so you can warm up. With the help of a spell, he increases the flame a little more. Out of nowhere he throws you a fluffy, thick blanket and wraps you in it, your body now slowly but surely heating up.

While you're still busy making yourself comfortable, Draco extinguishes all the lights in the room except for a few candles, which dip the quiet room into a soothing light, creating a relaxing atmosphere for you two.

"Are you feeling warmer already? Do you need something else? What about a hot chocolate?", he questions you, still feeling extremly horrible for what he made you go through. "A hot chocolate sounds very nice, actually", you accept his offer, deciding to take advantage of the situation, innocently smiling at him. It does not even take him one single second and he suddenly vanishes into thin air. Shaking your head but smiling to yourself you watch the flame in the fireplace while you wait for him to return.

To your amazement, it takes him a lot longer than you expected and that just for a simple hot chocolate. After about a quarter of an hour he pops up again in front of you all of a sudden, two steaming cups in his hands. He serves you your hot drink with a cheeky smile on his face. "As requested: one perfectly hot chocolate, but not nearly as hot as you", he winks at you before making himself comfortable next to you.

"What took you so long?", you ask and take a sip, skillfully ignoring his statement. "Had to.. run a few more errands, you know. I'm a very busy man", he smirks at you, holding the, in his hands much smaller looking, cup. You look at him in disbelief and then discover a few white spots on his uniform that make you raise your eyebrows in confusion. "It's snowing outside?", you question and point to the snowflakes on his cloak that are slowly melting in the warm room. "Care to explain why you were outside?"

"Uh, well.. I just wanted to please my lovely girlfriend", he explains and takes something out of his pockets. You immediately know what it is and sit up excitedly, but before you can grab it, you pull your hand back. "That's not another one of your pranks, is it?", you pout and look in his eyes for an answer, any sign that this really is just normal candy from Honeydukes and not some experiments he bought from Fred and George.

"Come on, Y/N! They are not poisoned. Eat now or I froze myself to death out there for nothing", Draco assures you and you decide to trust him, carefully opening the candy, revealing the actually normal, delicious sweets that you love so much. Happily eating them you don't even notice at first how Draco keeps staring at you, one of his fingers nervously tapping the rim of his cup.

"Y/N?", Draco finally clears his throat, sitting up straight while you look at him with big expectant eyes. The way he pronounces your name, how the letters roll of his tongue create goosebumps all over your skin, causing you to cuddle up more into the cozy blanket, waiting for him to continue. His gaze wanders back and forth between you and his warm drink, of which he has not drunk very much yet.

He opens his mouth to say something again but notices the goosebumps on your arm, the alarm bells in his head loudly going off immediately. "Are you still cold? Wait a second!", Draco tells you, without waiting for an answer, and jumps up, running to his prefect room and coming back a few seconds later to give you one of his green Slytherin sweaters. "Here. Put it on, it will warm you up", he commands and examines you carefully as you pull it over your head, the pleasant scent of his perfume clouding your senses instantly.

Your cheeks turn a little bit red, on the one hand because of the extreme warmth that now surrounds you and on the other hand because Draco gives you such a sweet and tender look, as if you are the most beautiful and precious being in this world; which, in fact, you definetely are to him. He moves closer to you and puts his arm around your shoulders so that you can lean against his chest and snuggle up to him. Draco gently runs his fingers over your hair, over your cheeks and to your chin, which he slightly lifts up, making you look at him.

Neither of you say anything for a while, you just look each other deep in the eyes. Draco brushes one strand of hair behind your ear that fell into your face and slowly leans in. You close your eyes, waiting for him to connect your lips, but he teasingly stops shortly before, his breath fanning against your skin. "I have something for you.. as an apology", he gently whispers and you open your eyes in surprise. "You don't have to give me anything, Draco. I've already forgiven you, you know that", you smile at him, cupping one of his cheeks which makes him smile.

He takes your hand in his and squeezes it lightly, kisses your knuckles and then shakes his head with a sigh. "I know. Still, I feel bad and want to give you something. Something very meaningful and significant", he declares, reaching into his pocket once again. Eventually, his secrecy makes you kind of curious anyway and you look at his hand eagerly, waiting to see what the gift will be.

Draco pulls out a small black box covered in velvet. Your curious gaze focuses on the box, which contents are still unknown to you until he finally opens it and reveals a beautiful, gold shimmering and, above all, quite expensive looking necklace. Small moons and stars hang on it, but the real focus of the indescribably lovely piece of jewelry is in the middle. The bigger splendid pendant attached to it is none other than his name, Draco, written in an artistic curved font. Overwhelmed, your mouth drops open.

"Actually, I wanted to give it to you for our anniversary this year, as a thanks for sticking around with me for so long, no matter how stupid and silly and annoying I was. Somehow it just felt like the right moment to give it to you now", Draco explains in a calm voice, no sight of the silly boy from a few hours ago, and takes the necklace out of its box, gesturing that you should turn around so he can carefully place it around your neck. He leaves a few butterfly kisses along your neck before you turn around to him again, immediately touching the pendant with your fingertips, slightly pressing it against your soft skin.

"I thought I would give you my first name as long as I can't give you my last", Draco smiles timidly, a tear escaping from the corner of your eye as you pull him into a tight embrace. "D-Draco.. I don't know what to say.. I love you so much", you sob into his neck, placing a kiss right there. His arms wrap around you and he breathes out contentedly and somewhat relieved. "I was afraid that you would reject me..", he whispers nearly inaudible, more to himself than to you.

"I would never even think about rejecting you! But do you really promise that you will make it come true, Draco? That you will give me the honor to receive your last name?", you ask seriously, retreating a bit so you are able to look at his handsome face. A smile creeps its way onto his lips at your so serious but also hopeful facial expression. "I don't want anything more in my life than that, darling", Draco clarifies honestly and then takes the pendant with his name on it between his thumb and index finger. "This is a promise", he repeats softly and gives you a quick but loving kiss.

Despite the short kiss, you feel a pleasant warmth inside of you and the butterflies flutter around in your stomach. You put your hands around his neck and can't help but grin brightly, trying to hide it by biting down on your lower lip. Immediately, Draco's thumb comes up to your lip and stops you from doing so, looking back and forth between your shiny eyes and plump lips.

The next kiss you share is so passionate and with so much love that you forget everything around you in a matter of seconds, fading out your surroundings. Now, there is only you and Draco. And a promise that you hold close to your heart.

[ellitx]

!! Long one inc with modern au college Himmel, will be hurt/comfort (might be cringe i dunno i went ham) TW: mentions of mental illnesses and self harm, mentions of injuries, and smut ye

Was a quiet rainy day as you slept, back pressed into your boyfriend's chest, you had decided to come over to watch movies and spend some time relaxing together after finals but about an hour in you let a lull like state wash over you.

"This is the only time you look so peaceful y/n.." Himmel thought, "if only you'd let your walls down a bit.. just enough to let me in.." he brushed your cheek with the back of his hand with a feather light touch on your cheek "Im so sorry that you have to carry so much weight.. I'd do anything to help wash it away or at least help lift it"

Drinking in your form as you slept softly into him, he wishes to stay like this for hours, but he knows that as soon as consciousness comes over you again, the walls will be re-built, and your shoulders will re-tense with the weight they bear. He leans in to kiss your temple and stroke your hair softly praying not to wake you

Recalling all the stories you told him, the shitty ex that was so selfish of his own desires that it implanted the idea that all intimacy was, was to please the man. Now leaving scars that you cant even take for yourself in those times even though all he wants is to please, and pour the love you desperately need into you, over and over but even a year or so into the relationship, you had only given to him.. bearly even allowing him to sheath himself in you, and thats just the tip of the iceberg " you dont even let anyone help you, but all you do is give, how much longer until you cup is empty.." He thought kissing you softly once more

"Hmm..?" You sir and turn to face him "I-i'm so sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep.." he strokes your hair again to hush you "Its okay, Im glad you were able to get some rest" he whispered kisses on the lips proper pulling you in a bit closer and letting his hands run up and down your sides. "Himmel I hope youre not upset at me.." you gripped onto his shirt a bit and buried your head in his chest "we were supposed to hangout today and I feel awful for falling asleep.." you mumbled

"Stop that now.. you were exhausted.. its really okay" he softly pulls your face up to kiss you again licking your bottom lip praying you let him in, turning you head slightly and parting your lips you let him in "Thank god at least this.." he thought as he let his toungue rub against yours while sliding his hands down your sides and slipping his finger tips under the hem of your tights.

A small flinch came from you as he did this as a bit of panic started to set in.. you were so self conscious of yourself, you didnt feel ever adequate enough even to call your self his lover or even to indulge yourself in things like this. He can feel you starting to tense up.. "Mmm.. y/n just relax love.. please.." he start trailing kisses down your neckline "H-Himmel.. I really don't know I.." tears start to well up in your eyes. He knew what was about to happen you were going to push him away and it made his heart squeeze in agony all he wanted was to give and show you love, but he didn't want to force it too much to scare you but it had been going on so long, so he tried shifting his weight to straddle you but you managed to squeeze out from underneath him.

"I-i'm sorry.. I think I should go.." you choke out, your voice shaky whilst trying to stay composed you head for the door. "Y/n Wait please!" You heaved a heavy sigh as you felt his hand catch your wrist, you try to twist out of it but he pulls you in firm but gentle.. " God y/n.. just let me in..please let me tear down those walls and let me love you.." he swallowed, his throat bobbing and icy blue eyes staring straight into yours "You can't keep pushing me out.., you won't even let me help you with anything and it hurts.. even when your sick and dead tired all you do is push me and anyone out.. saying that its alright but it's really not.." He chocked out between sobs "please y/n.. I love you.. and if you love me like you say you do then please just let me.. anyone, help you.. I cant stand to see you like this.. Ive known you for our whole lives almost and I finally have you.. and seeing you in pain from the hand you've been delt hurts more than you'd ever imagine..!

You stood frozen wet face and shaking, silently letting all the words sink in, you felt awful for doing this to him, you thought, he had been there with you through almost every step of your life, even giving you up to a man who he wasn't good to you because you said at the time because you said it was what would make you happy at the time and even now.. he'd be willing to throw everything at the wall to sew you back together, to see the smile, the true smile that he hasent seen in years.

And again all you could do is "I'm sorry Himmel you deserve someone better.. you've done so much for someone whos worth nothing.." so you get up and pull away from him once again and run out of the door into the rain but not soon after did you feel your soaked self being almost held with unwavering force "NO..! Not again.. not ever.. and plus I am not letting you leave this house in this weather I couldn't bear to see you sick from something I could prevent..!" He yells as he slung you over his shoulder carrying you back inside and into the bathroom

"Strip.. youre soaking wet.. and shaking.." he said calm but sternly ,you flushed at his command, hes usually not like this.. you thought through your tears and nervously removed your clothing as did he. You curled up to cover your naked form as he bent down placing a towel over your shoulders and held you, slowly rubbing to dry and warm you, and as soon as you were dry and coming down from your clouded tears, he helps you up off the floor draping the towel over the both of you leading to the mirror.

"Y/n.. I know when you look into this mirror you dont like what you see.. and think you dont deserve the I want to give you.. but please.." He pauses to hold your hands at your sides , to let all your beauty and all your scars, visible and unseen reflect back at you "see yourself through my eyes for just a bit my songbird.. you're not what you see.." you again begin to let tears fall and with a quiet sob "I-Im so sorry.. I do love you.. im just scared.."

"Then let me fix whats right here.." he snakes his arm around to gently rest a hand on your heart "and right here.." and his other over your womb space then lays his head on your shoulder with a kiss to the crook of your neck "Let me pull the sorrow from between your legs like silk.. knot after knot after knot.." he whispered almost pleadingly

"O-okay.." you lean into him a bit wiping your tears with the back of your hand kissing his temple. With that he gently picks you up with your legs wrapping around his waist he grips you firm and gentle untill he enters his bedroom, locking the door behind him, then setting you down on the bed not once letting go.

"Himmel.. are you sure you still..? "Shh.. please.." he kisses to hush you, then slowly trails soft sensual kisses down your body worshipping each and every inch, pouring all the love you gave him back into you trying to ignore his own arousal. Trying your best to keep still your face burned as he did this, not wanting to move and let any moans escape, you put your hand over your mouth to stifle them "no one will hear you its okay.." He said as he continues downward towards your heat "Nng.. my love I-" he felt you begin to tense up again he rubs his hands down your thighs and kisses them softly sucking and licking them "Just relax y/n.."

You breathed a shaky sigh as he spread your legs and began to slow rub at your core admiring your slick that adorned his finger tips. "Ahh..~ its a shame you've been keeping yourself from me.. your essence is divine" his hot breath so close to you it sent electricity you've never even felt before, were you even worthy of such extacy? you though stifling another moan, internally fighting the want to pull away again, if its what he wants then you shall deliver.

"Oh how Ive longed for this.. to please you, to drink in every once of you.. and to replace the pain with pleasure.." He began to lick a stripe up your slit and gently pressed his two fingers on your clit, swirling them in unison to bring you to a higher bliss "H-Himmel.. Ahh.. its so good.. Nng..!"

The heat building in you, you couldn't help but grind against him "Dont be ashamed love..~ do what mm..~ feels best for you.. dont hide your moans.. I wanna hear my pretty little song bird sing~! He saids darting this tongue deeper into you whilst grinding against the bed, he couldn't help it, its all ever dreamed of ashamedly, consuming you whole so his arousal was unmatched

Panting with heavy and louder moans you wrapped your legs around his head, letting gain more access, with him gripping onto your thighs and moaning into you, the vibrations coming from him wond you so tightly threatening to spill all over him.. so you grip his head and try to push him away "Ahh..! Im.. so close.. Himme-- Ahh!" He only grips you tighter and grinds himself harder against the sheets chasing his own release "Dont..! Aaah!! Im right there..dont push me off of you..! I love you so.. dont deny me..! Nnnng..!" And with him losing himself in you, lapping at you so desperately you come down onto him, covering him in you, with him coming in tandem..

Panting he wipes his face with the sheets "Thank you for finally letting me love you right.."

(im so sorry if this is omega long and kinda intense?? Kinda just rolling with it i have full himmel disease -💚)

ahhhh another himmel food <333 you’re feeding me so much with these sweet sweet himmel contents and i really really love it 🥺💕💕

I shall also feed you with a himmel content of my own as a thank you 😋 still working on it hehe

[cwispyhologwam]

Admit it. Rick Sanchez X F!Reader

Word count: 2,382

Rick was... out of it, I guess you could say he was still himself, but not really he just seemed, off. When Morty tried to ask if anything was wrong, Rick would respond in a "normal" Rick way but, it seemed forced. It was barely noticeable but he could tell, even though after Rick basically told him to fuck off he dropped it. It was just after the whole incident with Unity, which didn't make sense to Morty because it seemed like Rick had gotten what he needed and wanted from her, or it, or they, he didn't really know how to refer to the entity, but that's besides the point.

He had spent the whole night in the garage when Morty woke up for school the next morning he found his grandfather passed out at his work bench with a strange device looming over his head. Morty didn't know why but looking at it sent dread coursing through his body, he had a feeling he knew someone who could help him and his grandpa. She was... Rick's friend? (Y/n) (L/n), well honestly he didn't know what their relationship was at the moment, because a few years ago she used to visit daily but again that was years ago, he thinks they might have gotten in a fight or something. But if anyone could help him, it was her.

So he asked his mom to give him a ride to her house, but it took some convincing because what mother wouldn't question why her 14 year old son is going to a 23 year olds house by himself, like what kinda porn set up type bullshit, but after he explained his concerns for his grandpa she agreed. Once he got there he told his mom he would get a ride home and she complied and left. He rang the doorbell of the large house and waited, once the door opened he felt like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs.

She was absolutely gorgeous, her (S/C) skin looked so beautiful in the sun's light and her (long,short,medium) (straight,curly,wavey, kinky) (H/C) hair was beautiful. She was (Tall/short) and (Skinny,medium,thick) it made Morty wonder if her and Rick were ever more than friends at one point. What really got to him was what she was wearing, it was a matching set, a long sleeve sweater and shorts  "Morty? Hello? You alright there kid?" He snapped out of his trance and nodded "Sorry, and sorry again for showing up unannounced but i need your help."

She looked at him for a couple of seconds before sighing "Listen first come in it's weird talking outside like this, and second, if this has anything to do with Sanchez I'm sorry but i can't help you." He frowned, why did she call him Sanchez? And why did her (E/C) eyes look so sad when she said it? He came in and she led him to her living room where they sat on the couch "So what happened?" He asked her, he really thought if he knew why she suddenly stopped talking to Rick he would be able to help "Morty, i guarantee if Rick is going through something right now it hasn't got anything to do with me, we haven't talked in years."

How did she know? "How do you know that's the problem?" he asked, she giggled playfully rolling her eyes at him "Rick and i used to work together, well if you could really even call it that, it was more like working next to each other and having conversations. But we were also intimate with each other and i know the only reason you would be here without him is because there's a problem concerning him."

His eyes widened if Rick worked with her that could only mean that she was a genius too, so if they were partners and lovers in one way or another then how could she not be the problem? But then again they hadn't talked in years. She was right there was no way she could be the cause of his grandpa acting strange. With that he felt pretty much defeated, what now? He didn't know how to contact anyone else or even who to talk to, it took him almost two weeks just to find her and she lived on earth there was no way in fuck he’d be able to get in contact with anyone else without Rick.

"So what do i do now (Y/N)? I just want grandpa Rick to go back to normal, I can tell he’s faking being his old self." He sighed and dropped his head, his shoulders slumped, he resembled a kicked puppy in all honesty, they stood in silence for a while before she sighed, "Have you met Unity? Or has he talked to them recently?" she asked with an almost sour look on her face, Morty nodded "Well there you go, she probably fucked him then left again" Morty had an oo0oh moment and nodded.

"Just like all things he'll get over it, now i think it's about time i take you back home yeah?" He nodded, but now he felt kind of bad she seemed really, bothered by something . "(Y/N) have you ever liked Rick? Or you know when you used to come over a lot were you together?" He asked as they walked out the door and to her car. "Yes, we did date at the time, well what i thought was dating until he bluntly told me it was nowhere near that and i was just quote un quote, "something to do." As they got in the car Mortys mouth dropped open no wonder she just disappeared from their life like that.

"i-im sorry Rick’s a real dick sometimes" she shrugged and focused her eyes on the road, ”Listen Morty your grandpa is a lot of things, a dick especially, and when it comes to emotions, especially his own, he becomes a coward, please Morty i know you've picked up about 300 shitty casualties from him but avoid that like your life depends on it. Okay? Or at least promise to try?” Morty could tell how serious she was without even looking at her.

 The rest of the ride was silent, once she pulled into the driveway of Morty’s house she groaned seeing that the garage was open and Rick was standing in front of it. With his arms crossed, the moment his eyes landed on (Y/n) she felt her stomach drop, her hands were shaking, which Morty noticed. "Fuck me" she said under her breath, Morty got out the car but she stayed still almost frozen. "B-Bout damn time yo-ughh- you got here." Morty groaned "How did you even know I left?" Rick rolled his eyes "your mom o-obviously di-ugh-dipshit." Morty shook his head and waved goodbye to (y/n).

She waved back, she jumped when she realized Rick was now at her window motioning for her to get out she rolled her eyes before reluctantly getting out. He looked her up and down before stopping and staring at her lips, his eyes just sat there for a good minute before she cleared her throat. "Did you have something to say or did you just wanna stand here lookin’ stupid?" He scoffed before taking a swig of his flask "Y-You know yo-ughhh you never wer- seemed like one to hold a g-grudge. Thought yo-you wou-ughh would have got- been over it b-by now."

she stared at him with a blank expression before she back handed him sending him stumbling "wha-what the fuck!?" he exclaimed as he looked at her he was gonna say more till he noticed the tears streaming down her expressionless face "How long have we known each other rick?" he looked at her questionably "hey y-your ughh c--" she cut him off her voice a little louder than before "How fucking long rick?" he stood up right and looked into her watery (e/c) eyes as he held his cheek. "5 years" she nodded "and how many times in those 5 years did you introduce me to the many girls you fucked, the girls you ploughed mindlessly just to get off?”

he looked at her questionably again "none." he said simply "how many of them did you introduce to birdperson, or squanchy, or the people you know from other fuckin universes, Matter of fuckin’ fact, how many of those whores did you see walking around with different dimension ricks at the citadle?" he didn't have to think at all before saying "none" she nodded

"Rick not only, not fuckin’ only did you introduce me to squanchy, birdperson, and other Rick’s and their (y/n), when you decided you were ready to go back into Beths life you introduced me to your family, to your only daughter, to your nephew, your niece, and the dickhead that you cant fuckin’ stand for knockin you daughter up, that that in itself should be enough proof that im not just a hole off the street for you to have fun with" he stood silently still looking into her (e/c) eyes.

"And that the crazy fuckin’ thing rRick! not once did we even have sex, we never went further than sleep naked together! So for you to have looked me directly in my fucking face, and tell me that I was simply something to do didn't hurt, what hurt was the fact that you lied! You lied Rick! Straight through yo motha fuckin’ teeth! The fact that you're a genius doesn't mean shit to me when you don't even have the damn brain capacity to admit when you care about someone! You are a fuckin coward! I know you're scared to be hurt again, fine! But dont fucking pussy out and act like the shit that we had meant nothing!"

Rick was at a lost for words he didn't want to get attached to anyone since Diane and he knew that, he watched as (Y/n) wiped the tears from her eyes ``It hurts like a bitch to love someone so much, and to know that they love you back but won't admit it, it just makes you feel like they’re ashamed of you, like you're ashamed of me, Rick i asked for nothing when we first met." she sighed

“I told you that i just wanted to learn, you took that as if i can get the bitch to trust me enough i can eventually fuck her, yet you never even made a move Rick, your exact words were, i dont want you talking to anyone else, and i accepted that as your fucked up way of asking me out. i never once asked to label us because i already knew what we were, i thought i actually meant something to you.” The two sat in silence for a couple minutes she had hoped he would say something, and when he didn't she shook her head and got ready to get back in her car " I have to go, tell Morty to come see me whenever i guess." she turned ready to get in her car till she fell through a lime green portal. She landed in Rick's room, on his bed to be exact Rick soon came in after opening another portal and walked through.

“When normal people want to talk they usually use their words.” she said as she rolled her eyes and stoop up intending to leave, she wasn't the person she was 5 years ago, he couldn't kiss and caress his way out of this one. She was sick of him talking his way out of things his words couldn't be trusted and his actions were misleading so at this point fuck it, fuck him, fuck his hugs, his kisses, his scent, fuck the way he looked at her with longing eyes and made her weak in the knees. 

Fuck everything, enough was enough, either he wanted to be with her, or he didnt those were his options, she hadnt even realized tears were freely falling down her (S/C) cheeks, she was shaking, she had tried to pursue a relationship with at least 10 other men and it all failed, she was taping her foot fast with her arms crossed as she kept looking at the ground 

She didnt want him to see her like that the man had barely said a fuckin word and here she stood crying her eyes out, damn near hyperventilating “I’m sorry … you’re right, i am a fuckin coward and everything you said is true … fuck this is making me nauseous, all this sappy bullshit, to sum up this shit show of our relationship i love you, i am a cunt for pulling that bullshit, like you didnt mean anything to me because unfortunately you do, i gave into the pathetic chemical reaction that makes me just as human and vulnerable as the rest of our shitty race, hell i might even be a little less Rick because of this shit but if it means you wont disappear again …. It's worth it.”

She slowly approached Rick and buried her face in his chest as she cried, finally the dickhead admitted to well, being a dickhead and a liar, and a coward, and a cunt pussy shit fuck bastard, and his way of apologizing, it was.. Shitty but that's what she expected, he held her tightly kissing the top of her head inhaling her sent messaging her scalp through her (kinky,curly,thick,straight) hair

Once again they'd be sharing the night together she already knew he wasn't letting her leave so after she had stopped crying and did all the things she needed to do before she went to sleep she crawled into bed with him usually shed sleep on his chest but tonight rick insisted on sleeping on her chest probably his way of making sure she stayed there. Of course the two were butterball ass naked it was the only way she could sleep, “i love you” rick said just as she was drifting to sleep she smiled and kissed his forehead “i love you too.”  

[n-ugg]

When Sam accepted this job, he thought it'll be fine. It'll finally be a challenge with his building and engineering. The pay will be so helpful too with wanting to make sure that one of his sons will have enough armor and weapons for a while without needing to go out and search for the supplies.

It would've been a good trade off.

So why is this back firing on him so badly?

-

When the prison was completed, Sam reported to Dream and asked for a higher pay. Dream immediately complies, gives him an extra three stacks of diamond block. Sam didn't question it.

Why would he? This will help him out so much and he wont need to worry about getting supplies for weeks. Months even!

Dream speaks up after the transaction, about how Sam knows who it is and it should be easy to get him in. Sam didn't pay much attention to what he said. He was too blinded by the pay to even ask who is going to be in.

The night was spent with Sam breaking apart the blocks to form into multiple full suits of armor and multiple swords. He even went the extra mile to head over to Punz to place in extra enchantments to make sure his son won't hurt himself as much.

He did all of this to make sure that his son won't get hurt. So why is he currently being ordered to put his son in the cell?

Sam was frozen in the prison. Seeing his son. Seeing Quackity calling out to him. Begging him for an answer on why did he make this prison for him. Why was he working against him this entire time.

Sam's voice was lost. He can't speak. He cant move. He's stuck between both of Dream and Quackity's yelling match, yet Sam can't hear either of them.

He felt his body move on his own the moment he noticed a shine from the corner of his eye coming from Dream.

Sam was standing in front of Quackity with his shield raised up with an axe at his side to push back Quackity. The sound hits him all at once as he hears the netherite axe hit the wooden surface.

"Sam!" He looks past the shield to make eye contact with Dream. His face was hidden, but you can tell behind the smile the rage continues to rise. "You agreed to a job and you need to complete it." His voice was back to his normal tone but you can tell theres a venom being held back.

Quackity raised his voice behind Sam. Please don't continue, Sam doesn't want to go forth with this. "I didn't do shit Dream! You're being a tyrant that you claim to never be! I don't deserve to be locked up by my own damn-" he cut himself off. Please stop, Sam still cares and views him as a son. "locked up by Sam." His tone noticeably gotten lower when he conpleted the sentence.

Sam felt the guilt in his stomach grow as the grip on the shield and axe gotten tighter. He just wanted to help. This was never supposed to happen.

"Quackity! You're a threat!" Dream's voice rose again. Why can't this yelling match just end? "You bombed Eret, who is neutral! And planned an army against Technoblade! What else are you planning to do?! You're a ticking time bomb! I need to put you away to protect the others!"

"Oh yeah?" You can hear a smile from Quackity's end. Why is he smiling in a time like this? "I only went against Eret because he fucking killed Karl! You're upset because I was able to see the king as a puppet! And Techno literally tried to kill us all by spawning withers! Why is he still running around?"

"Because he hasnt done anything to make himself known or done any harm yet! I can't just thr-"

"Shut up! Both of you." Sam finally spoke up. He just wanted it to end, so he'll need to listen. Sam did a final side glare at Dream before turning to back. "Quackity." Sam takes a pause to let out a deep breath he's been holding. "Please walk in the prison."

"I already told you Sam, Im not going in." Quackity stated with the smile off of his face as he refuses to look at Sam in the eyes and keep his contact with Dream, definitely noticing the grip on the axe tighten.

Sam can feel the murder behind Dream's eyes and what might happen if Quackity continues to protest. "Please, I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want to do this" Sam was pratically begging but he still kept his composer.

Quackity's smirk returned. "Yeah, like getting tossed in a inescapable cell by my own 'dad'-" those air quotes managed to do so much internal damage towards Sam. "-isn't hurtful enough. Heh, I thought I was able to trust you, man." The smirk faded away as Quackity started to focus on Sam. "Never would I ever thought that you'll backstab me like this by working with my biggest enemy. To fucking lock me away like that."

Sam took in another deep breath before letting it out. "I'm so sorry." Before Quackity was able to make a comment, Sam grabbed him and dragged him into the prison. It was easy due to the massive height difference. Quackity was trying to break away and make a run for it, but made absolute no progress.

Sam threw Quackity in and locked the doors. Quackity ran to the door and started to bang on it while screaming to be let out. Sam kept his own walls up to not break at the sight of seeing his son. The person he built the prison, to just get a generous pay for he can make the armor and weapons for, curse at him to let him out as he bangs on the walls while being on his knees.

Dream walked behind Sam and placed his hand on Sam's shoulder. "Good work, make sure he doesn't get out and you dont help. You know exactly what will happen." Sam simply nodded as he feels Dream's hand lift from his shoulder and hears him walk out of the prison.

Quackity was already away from the walls as he observed his new home. Sam wanted to look away, but he can't. He is completely unable to look away from the mess he's made. Sam tried to speak up, but felt his throat dry up the moment his mouth opened.

Quackity started to let out a laugh as his hand trailed along the wall. "You really made this inescapable, huh?" Sam didn't respond, just nodded as he took a couple of steps forward. Quackity let out another laugh as he walked towards to where Sam was at.

Sam was confused and cleared his throat before speaking. "Why are you laughing?" His voice was raspy. His throat still felt tight and dry.

"Because I trusted you! And then you backstabbed me by helping my biggest enemy!" Another cackle filled the cell. Sam cringed at the sound, not liking how his son has already broken down in the cell. "You need to help me with something. As a way-"

"Im not breaking you out." Sam's voice was stern as he tries to push down the thought of Quackity getting killed by Dream to the back of his head. "You'll get hurt. Badly."

Quackity shoke his head, "Not that." He stuffed his hands in his pocket and his posture straighted out.

"With what then?"

Quackity raised his hand over his beanie and pushed it back to reveal small horns, already having a small curve forming. "Remember the Frankenstein's monster arc?" Sam was taken a back seeing the horns, he also notices how Quackity basically had sharper nails then before and his eyes containing a really faint yellowish glow in the dark cell. "Want to finish it for me?"

So many thoughts rush into Sam's head. This could mean that all of the crimes that Quackity has been accused of can be forgiven since it isn't him. It was just Schlatt the entire time.

If he brings him back, he'll let go of Quackity.

He can have his son back.

He doesn't need to keep him locked up.

Sam quickly nods his head as a smile forms. "Anything for you."