#see this is why I cant do follow forevers bc I will literally never shut up

[nako-doodles]

hi!! 💃🏻?

💃 compliment some people you admire!

don’t tell me I didn’t warn you: this is going to be Long™, anonie

🌼@seokjinsult​​🌼

sam💍 my love my wife I love you 😘 its kinda crazy we were just strangers just 2 and some change months ago, and here we are, literally talking everyday, sleeping at odd times (because time zones hold nothing against our connection), adopting children (re: anyone born in this bright millennium), being judgmental together, complaining about adulting……we really are A Pair™

thank you for blessing my life and my dash with super aesthetic mood boards and H I L A R I O U S shitposts and just overall heightening my experience on this hellsite and my life in general like the bright Polaris star that you are. thank you for tolerating me and my chaos and my long ass rants and typo-ridden messy tags and frequent incomprehensible replies ilusm💕

🌸@jinseas​🌸

pri💜 my love, you were actually one of the first moots I made when I first remade, with my god awful long ass url and not-quite-there blog aes. I dont know what made you follow me, but im grateful for your presence in my life nonetheless

thank you for sticking with me and sending me rude af bangtan pics for me to wake up to every morning, for making me laugh every time I read your tags, for tagging me in Quality Seokjin Posts, for posting Relatable and Funny af posts, for hosting EMO HOURS FOR JIN posts that never fail to bring me back to my ocean of tears (the ocean galaxy for bangtan? yea that’s my ocean of TEARS), for being one of the sweetest bubbliest person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing 💕

🌺@kimseokjinniestan​🌺

anna💘 my love, you were the post person to tag me in one of those tumblr tag games (it was the one where you had to record yourself reading a bunch of words), and I remember thinking wow I didnt realize someone could sound so genuinely lovely and sweet over just like…4? minutes? of audio???? you must either be crafted from rainbows and sunshine, or capable of miracles

thank you for being so caring and considerate, for being your kind and bubbly self, for being so sweet to both me and your followers, for being so supportive and wholesome, for posting Quality content with (for fear of sounding like 2012 tumblr) #relatable tags, for crying over jin with me 💕

🌼@seokjiniesgf​🌼

megan😘 I think ive told you before, my love, but like your blog header? attacks me??? every time I tag you and Tumblr goes: is this the blog you want to tag?? your url is a whole mood and the color scheme is gorgeous and everytime I read your tags I get stitches from trying to not burst out into giggles and make my parents think im (more) crazy (than usual). idr when we became moots but im grateful that I can call such a lovely person my friend and moot

thank you for being such an accepting person, for tagging all your posts w some of the most hilarious and #mood tags that I am getting an ab workout every time I read them, for being one of the sweetest humans ive had the pleasure of knowing, for tagging me in Quality Seokjin Content, for making me smile all the time, for letting me call you a friend💕

🌸@odeng1e​🌸

wendi😍 my love, gods youre HILARIOUS and your pun-taculous tags for the members and your��‘welcome to wendi’s’ tag? 120% iconic. still one of my fave ‘about me’ tags on this hell site. and your answer to why you named your url sTILL SENDS ME

thank you for supporting my weak-ass humour, for just being supportive and lovely and funny and wholesome and exuding love in general, for not taking any shit, for being an Aes Queen, for making me giggle every time I read your tags, for checking up on me, for tagging me in Quality Seokjin Content, for reminding me that iconic seokjin Look™ every time I go on your blog 💕

🌺@jinsapeach​🌺

dia💖 my love, you’re so sweet and lovely even candy stores are envious of you! in fact your so sweet im not quite sure you’re real and not a figment of my imagination bc how can so much talent and love and sweetness and cute fit into one human??? impossible (also ur url? a whole ass mood)

thank you for being such an incredibly positive and bright presence on my dash, for feeding me and your followers well with your ICONIC gifs, for being so generous with your time and your energy and your talent, for always being so bright and happy, for always making me smile 💕

🌼@jinbeann​🌼

roma💓 you are also one of my first moots on this hellsite, my love, and honestly I might have done a happy dance when you followed back bc you, my love, are absolutely Hilarious. one of the funniest people I know. not to mention, your tags for the members are so cute my heart melts every time you tag seokjin mvp….a mood

thank you for encouraging my love for Seokjin’s dad jokes, for having some of the most iconic tags around, for being your wondrously wholesome funny sweet adorable self, for indulging me on all my ask games, for being so supportive, for making me laugh so hard once I almost fell off the office chair and I had to explain to my deskman why I almost propelled myself out of the stratosphere like chim does for seokjin, for bringing me laughter💕

🌸@cafejoon​🌸

tate💞 my love my bday buddy, you are one of the most wholesomely cute and genuine people I have had the pleasure of knowing and interacting with?? im genuinely baffled at how witty and funny and lovely person exists in my life?? and brings so much smiling every time I see you on my dash im going to get early onset wrinkles??

thank you for being such a wholesome soft sweetheart, for blessing my dash with joon and cute posts, for being so damned funny and so witty in your tags, for being some of the kindest humans ive ever met, for inspiring to be better, for being such a quality human being 💕

🌺@monosgf​🌺

sai💝 my love, who probably specializes in being a giant softie and also opening lovin joon hours 24/7, you are always so funny and lovely and just…so Good? both as a human and also as a hilarious blog on my dash? you make my experience on Tumblr so much better? 

thank you for laughing at my typos with me, for tagging me in Quality Seokjin posts, for indulging me in my ask games, for being such a wholesome cutie, for being a whole ass comedian in the tags, for having such a big heart, for being such a bright presence in my dash 💕

🌼@jinergy​🌼

kasey💗 you were one of the first seokjin blogs I found when I remade and I remember thinking wow…that is a prime url…120% quality…..and honestly after all these months, you haven’t proven me wrong. a whole ass cutie, a whole ass comedian, a whole ass sweetheart, a whole ass mood…honestly save some nice attributes for the rest of us mortals thanks

thank you blessing my dash with shinee and other hilarious content, for showering me in your love, for your giant heart full of love, for owning some of the driest wit around, for being so supportive and sweet, for tagging me in all the Tumblr tags, for laughing at my tags, for being my friend 💕

🌸@t0d-oder-freiheit​🌸

tina❤️, you, my love, are my actual longest mutual here on this hellsite (like you remember and interacted with sophomore-in-high-school shirley?? and still chose to stay with me??? for the past god knows how many years and through me remaking my blog and switching fandoms and no longer really reblogging anything of interest to you??? you deserve an award). 

thank you for always checking in on me and sending me funny German words and hilarious memes and pictures of your adorable cat and your town and the concerts you’ve gone to and cheering me up and telling me how much you appreciate me and my humour and making sure I stay healthy and sleeping at an appropriate time and wow I love you alright? thank u for keeping me sane all these years. its been a long ride, and I hope we stay friends for even longer💕

🌺 @yoooooongiis 🌺

cass💙 my smol bub, I dont know if you know this but you are one of the prime suppliers to my overflowing meme folder. I honestly dont know how you run so many blogs and somehow tag me on all of them (honestly at this point if I get a notif of a random blog tagging me in some post I just assume its you) bc I only run one and im overwhelmed half the time?? how do you do it teach me your ways??

thank you for always sending and tagging me in Quality Content, for being hilarious and relatable and cute, for laughing at my tags, for staying up at ass o clock in the morning and sending me the memeiest bangtan memes I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing, for indulging in ridiculous meme showdowns with me, for being a Top Quality Person💕

💓sweet red emoji asks💓

[heyitsyn]

Prince Iwa-Chan

Oikawa!Sister x Iwaizumi Hajime

a/n: it aggravates me that my mans bara-arms-iwa-chan is so UNDERRATED!!!!

requests open!!

like look mom, im in love

ofc youre an oikawa

tbh, i dont think iwa wouldve been comfortable w you when yall first met

lets say youre a year younger than tooru

its a well-known fact that theyve been friends since they were really young so you, being oiks’ baby sister, was also part of your little trio

like lets say they met when they were 6

that would make you about 5

since yall have an older sister, you were exposed to the girly girl stuff like dolls and princesses

ngl, tooru was too thats why hes so flamboyant

but seems his fashion style refutes that

ya didnt hear that from me

anyways

tooru had already developed a deep fascination w volleyball bc he saw it being played during the 2000 summer olympics

but you remained w your sister and continued letting her treat you like a princess

im not really sure how old his sister is but lets say she was about around middle school when you were 5-6

however, tooru still made you play w him even though you didnt know how but you didnt care bc you were close w your brother so you would play ball w him

then came along iwaizumi hajime that tooru met from school

he found out that this boy also liked volleyball and tooru yeeted them both home so they could go and play at the back yard

you peeked from your window and you just thought iwa was the most handsome boy youve ever met

ofc, you just bolted down the stairs to where your brother and his friend was

oiks saw you standing by the door w a red face and him, being still a child and not understanding crushes, thought you were sick

he went to you and beckoned hajime to follow him inside

tooru sat you down and asked if you were okay but you just kept staring at hajime

he figured that you were just confused as to who this person was

‘oh! iwa-chan! this is my little sister, y/n! y/n, this is my classmate, iwaizumi hajime!’

cue iwa hitting him at the head

‘i can introduce myself perfectly fine, bakakawa!’

iwaizumi hajime,,,

iwaizumi hajimeee,

iwaizumi y/n

that thought made you turn even redder and you squealed in embarrassment before running back to your room

lmao what

if your personality doesnt align w this, i deeply apologize

i just think if you were an oikawa, you would bound to immediately also be drawn to this handsome specimen named iwaizumi hajime

he be getting the oikawas though

iwa was actually concerned but oiks waved it off

‘don’t worry, iwa-chan. shes weird like that. lets go toss the ball!’

so that was kinda how he met you

now, since hajime basically lived in your house by how much him and your brother hung out, youve slowly mellowed out and gotten to be friends w him

despite your hatred w bugs, you still went w them to explore just bc you wanted to be around hajime

lmao tooru youre now irrelevant

hajime didnt mind and he always made sure you were okay with the adventures of the day

even though you were only like a year younger, he cant help but baby you bc of your much smaller height than him and overall cute baby face

one day, they both came home from school all sweaty bc they raced home

‘iwa-chan! you can settle in the living room while i go shower!’

‘don’t call me iwa-chan, bakakawa!’

‘then stop calling me that!’

he sat down on the couch and started doing his homework when he heard you come home from school

lmao how do little japanese kids go back and forth from school to home at the age of 6

idek how to cross the street

‘tadaima’

‘oh, okaeri, y/n’

you perked up at his voice and you ran to the living room, seeing him

‘iwa-chan!’

he grunted and you threw yourself to him in a hug

if your personality doesnt align w this, i deeply apologize

i just think if you were an oikawa, you would bound to immediately also be drawn to this handsome specimen named iwaizumi hajime

part 2

tbh it doesnt even faze him anymore since you do this to him every time

he continues doing homework and just wraps one arm around you and starts patting your head

‘tooru-nii?’

‘shower’

‘okay’

then silence

but its the good kind of silence

you and iwa just sit there with you snuggled up on him while he continues to add numbers

then it was ruined

by the pterodactyl oikawa tooru who comes flying down the stairs and glomps on to iwa’s other side

��y/n-chan! stop hogging iwa-chan!’

‘he’s mine, tooru-nii!!’

you pout while iwa turns and gives him a glare

‘shut up, bakakawa! and stop calling me that!’

‘aahh!! you were mine first, iwa-chan!’

‘i was never yours! be quiet!’

‘itai, iwa-chan!’

‘he’s mine forever! we’re going to get married so butt out, nii-chan!’

‘HAH?!’

once everything calms down, yall actually start your homework and work

‘anything happen today, y/n-chan?’

oikawa always asked that question bc he believes its his duty as older brother to be caught up in your life

thats actually annoying bruv

‘hmm, me and the girls in my class were playing princess tea party today and a boy asked to be my prince.’

‘WHAT!’

oikawa is 7 now and he faintly has an idea about crushes and his father made him promise that he would protect you from nasty boys

‘calm down, bakakawa’

iwa mumbled, continuing his homework but also paying attention

‘WHAT!? NO! WHATD YOU SAY, Y/N-CHAN! YOUR BROTHER IS THE ONLY PRINCE YOU NEED!’

‘i told him i already have a prince’

oikawa was so smug and crossed his arms

‘hm, serves them right-’

‘prince iwa-chan and i are going to get married and live in a castle so there’s no room for anybody else’

iwa had to double check and turned red really fast

like who was this iwa-chan

wait, what his name?

his name has iwa in it

is he iwa-chan?

y/n’s prince iwa-chan?

was he really iwa-chan?

‘NO! YOUR NII-SAN IS YOUR PRINCE! IWA-CHAN CAN BE YOUR KNIGHT OR SOMETHING! BUT IM YOUR PRINCE!’

you glared at tooru and shook your head

‘no. iwa-chan is my prince’

you were so shamless about this fact

lmao i want your confidence

from then on, youve called iwa as your prince

like his name on your phone is literally prince iwa-chan

then when you were in middle school, you’ve started calling iwa as haji-senpai

there wasnt even a large event that spawned this

well,,, actually,,

youve noticed that iwa hated the nickname ‘iwa-chan’ a lot and he hit tooru many times bc of it so you stopped calling him that bc you didnt want him to be mad at you

so you started calling him senpai bc he was technically an upperclassman

when you first called him this, iwa was lowkey shook

‘haji,,,, senpai?’

you nodded from your spot on the couch, not looking up from your homework

‘see? i can only call iwa-chan, iwa-chan! OOF!’

that was iwa hitting tooru at the face with his pencil case

‘y/n, you dont have to call me that. we’ve known each other since we were little so you dont have to call me by an upperclassman term’

you shrugged

‘i know. but you dont like it when you’re called iwa-chan, do you?’

‘not if it’s by this trash’

he jutted a thumb to the fallen tooru

‘so,,,, iwa-chan is fine?’

your eyes sparkled at the permission of being able to freely call him that without worry

he gulps at your face and turns away to hide his red face before nodding

‘my prince iwa-chan!’

‘no! my iwa-chan!’

‘shut up shittykawa!’

‘itai, iwa-chan!’

keeping up with the oikawas

this nickname will forever be stuck

since you went to the same middle school, you were known to be around your brother and iwa and even staying behind for practice to walk home w them

it became a bit of a joke to the team of you picking up your prince

one day, a teammate called iwa, ‘prince iwa-chan’ and he almost busted a fuse

was ready to square up bc only his babie can call him that

but when you came through the door

‘prince iwa-chan! your princess is here!’

he turned all soft and squishy and pats your head so gently that they couldnt believe this is the same boy who is the ace

you were interested in volleyball so you were kinda friends w the team but you didnt really care for the sport, mainly focusing on your academics

thats how it really was for you three

they focused on sports while you studied

oh my here comes highschool

oikawa and iwa were already known throughout the FREAKING PREFECTURE bc of how TALENTED THEY ARE AT VOLLEYBALL

and you were already known by your pretty face and your cute personality

basically genderbent oikawa

and just wanted to stop you from reading by telling you that you are beautiful and you are a KWEEN and you are a GODDESS and confidence is the most beautiful thing to wear and best of all, it’s free!!

ofc, youd have to go to aoba johsai bc your brother was there

‘y/n-chan! you need to go where your brother is! you love him, don’t you?’

‘sure, tooru’

you actually went to seijoh bc you would see iwa 

you didnt hear that from me

your first day, boys (and gals) were already flocking towards you when they saw you walking with iwa and tooru

still being the overprotective brother since day1, oikawa was just snarling at anyone getting close to his baby sister

lmao what baby

hes only like a year older

but iwa was being terrirorial protective bc he finds it as an obligation as tooru’s best friend and your childhood friend

when oiks wasn’t paying attention and being drowned by his fangirls, iwa was your bodyguard

there was this one boy who started walking towards you as yall were going to your class but hajime placed an arm around your waist and pulled you closer

‘oh? i’m only at the first floor, iwa-chan. don’t get all clingy now’

lmao, girl hes trying to show that boy that hes your unofficial mans and will cut off his family jewels if he tries to even BREATHE in your direction

umm,,, iwa’s not yandere in this one yall

iwa just rolls his eyes and makes you walk forward until yall are at your door

‘i’ll see you later, iwa-chan!’

‘yea yea. i’ll pick you up’

he starts to walk down the hallway but you poke your head back out and shout

‘i miss you already, prince iwa-chan!’

he turns red all over and freezes for a 0.0002 seconds before raising a hand without turning around

now ladies and genitals

this is when iwa-chan starts to catch feelings like he catches them spikes

your cute smling face and saying his dumb nickname that he actually loves was like a recipe for a stroke for him

it has come to the point at the mere thought of you would make him all flustered and red

it tripled over when this happened:

puberty was kinda late for you and you actually just woke up looking like a goddess one day and you were like, lmao what

your chest just ballooned up and your height just skyrocketed that your skirt was now very short

ew i dont know what i would do in this situation

you were self-conscious about this and was kinda scared 

obvs, you would scream for your mother and she and your father and brother bolts up to your bedroom thinking there was a whole michael meyers in your room

but when you explained that your uniform doesnt fit anymore, she starts making appointments to get you fitted for another one

but you had to wait for a few days

so you went to school looking like a whole snacc

more of a snacc than you did before

when iwa saw you, he had a literal nosebleed in the middle of campus and runs to the bathroom to get all cleaned up

why in the name of asahi do you look like that?!

when you saw your prince look at you in horror and run away, you cried

you were already very self-conscious and him doing that just topped the cake

cake that tooru doesnt have

oop imsorry

tooru reassures you that he had a nosebleed and he was just sick and ran to not get any blood on his clothes

but you just walked away with your head down low

it didnt matter to you if this caught all the student body’s attention

that their precious oikawa y/n, little sister of the oikawa tooru, was a walking perfection goddess Venus

all that you cared about was iwa’s opinions bc he was your prince and your best friend

girl, accept that you actually like the mans

this was the worst day of your entire life and you went straight to your locker to get your gym clothes out and wear it for the day

it was tight but at least it covered skin

and it still attracted enough attention to be catcalled and whistled at

it felt violating

the entire morning, there was more attention and more people flocked over to you and guys were staring at you as if you were a piece of meat, not a girl

‘harry potter is a boy! not a piece of meat!’

sorry i cant help it

you were so uncomfortable that you called your brother during lunch time to come pick you up for lunch bc you were too scared to walk alone after being catcalled during your walk to your class

tooru sends out iwa to go help you as an apology from this morning and he just runs to your class bc you were in trouble and he was going to protect you!!

go iwa-chan!

he finds you sitting on your chair, looking down at your desk as there seemed to be boys piled up on top of each other, trying to get your attention

first world problems, amirite

‘OI!’

that angry grunt but at 2x bass boosted

hearing his voice, you were still embarrassed from earlier but you were so relieved

‘iwa-chan!’

iwa pushes people away and he grabs your hand to pull you up before wrapping an arm around your waist, protectively

‘if i see you idiots making her uncomfortable or even trying to touch her, i will destroy you’

protection and the feeling of safety is my fave

he leads you out of there to the stairway where him and his teammates were eating

he held your hand tightly and you squeezed it, trying to show that you were grateful

even if they were still male, your brother was there and if something happened, they were both strong enough to take them on

besides, its just mattsun and maki anyways

tooru saw you and he hugged you before leading you to the 2 others

‘guys, this is y/n, my sister. that’s mattsun and that’s makki.’

you slightly smiled and raised a hand in greeting

‘yo’

‘hello’

to be safe, iwa made you sit a step down from him so that if something happens, he could protect you

idk how but you do you boo

‘i can protect her too, iwa-chan!’

‘shut up, shittykawa. youre literally sticks and bones’

‘so mean! iwa-chan, you’re so mean!’

you giggled, head leaning down to rest on iwa’s right thigh since you were full and tired and he runs his hand through your hair

mattsun and makki shared a look before asking

‘are you dating our ace, y/n-chan?’

at the mention of dating, you both turned red and you sat up

‘OF COURSE NOT, MATTSUN, MAKKI!’

iwa shouts but his red face and ears betrayed him

‘iwa-chan grew up with us so he’s naturally like that. we’ve adopted him into our family!’

oikawa explained but you looked at him and he gave you a knowing look

oh he noticed everything

the lingering looks during practice

the bashful smiles during hang outs at home

unnecessary touches during the walk to school

oikawa may be annoying but he’s observant and he is smart

after that fiasco, the two boys were a little wary of letting you walk home alone so iwa offered to take you since he was already making more progress and didnt need extra practice while tooru wanted to practice more

‘iwa-chan, can we go to your house this time?’

he turned to look at you curiously since you never ask to go to his place

‘i miss your mom and ive been meaning to go visit her. so can we, iwa-chan?’

you squeezed his hand and showcased your pleading look making him agree

‘fine’

his house wasn’t a frequently hung out spot since your house was closer but you were still familiar with his home since his mother was fond of you

‘tadaima’

mama iwaizumi peaked from the kitchen and greeted him home before squealing at the sight of the youngest oikawa

‘oh my, y/n-chan! hello!’

‘hello, auntie!’ 

she gave you a big hug and you returned it with a laugh

iwa just standing there to the side with a smile bc his mom approves so all is good in life

‘you’ve grown so much, y/n-chan! so much prettier too!’ you turned bashful at her compliments.

then she leaned forward to whisper in your ear but made her voice loud

‘say, has my son finally ask you to be his girlfriend?’

omg mama iwaizumi really ships it

iwa turns red and complains to his mom about being in his business too much

‘don’t be so timid, hajime! y/n-chan could be taken from under your nose any minute now!’

‘dont you think i know that’ he mumbles but very lowly so that no one hears him

but you decide to tease him more

‘no. but i’m waiting for it. i’ll tell you once he does, auntie!’

fed up with the teasing, he grabs you and drags you up to his room to change into comfortable clothing

you sit on his bed while he rummages through his closet for a sweatshirt and sweatpants

‘here! change into these!’ he shouts, still flustered and refusing to look at your eyes

youre an oikawa and you lived to tease so you stood up, tossing the clothes to the side and wrapping your arms around his neck

ooo gurl you want iwa to die today, don’t you?

he gets even redder and scowls

‘oi, y/n, what are you doing’

you shook your head

‘nothing. i just miss my prince iwa-chan. you were so brave for saving me today, prince iwa-chan’

the nickname used to not affect him that much but now, he watches the it fall from your cherry lips

‘say my name’

you furrowed your eyebrows

‘iwa-chan?’

he gently shakes his head no

‘my real name’

‘iwaizumi hajime’

you say, distracted at the way his mouth moves

‘and what’s yours?’

‘iwaizumi y/n’

you breathed out

he growls softly before taking your sinful lips

wowza jesus took the wheel bc he stepped on that pedal

we going straight 100 mph up in this bih

iwa really said, ‘skip the confession. imma go straight for my babie girl’s lips. also, proposal who? let’s go get married in vegas!’

it wasnt even been literally 15 minutes until you came bounding the stairs wearing hajime’s signature grey hoodie with his seijoh sweatpants and calling for your auntie to announce you were now dating are going to get married

‘WHAT!?’ 

she screams and comes running from the kitchen, holding a ladle

you flashed a grin while iwa shows a small smile with red cheeks from behind you before telling you that you were both too young to get married

‘i told ya you would be the first to know’

after dinner, you call your brother and hes like, ‘okay, since you’re not at home i’m assuming youre at iwa’s’

‘omgomgomg, nii-chan! i just had dinner with my boyfriend’s family! they accepted me!’

‘BOYFRIEND?! DOES IWA-CHAN KNOW!? HOW COULD YOU BREAK HIS HEART?!’

oikawa just has that special type of voice that even without being on speaker phone, it sounds like he is

iwa laughs at his friend’s worried questions

‘better hand over your princess to the prince, grand king’

oikawa screamed

i hope i did my mans justice 

[edengarden]

BNHA CONCERT BAND AU BC IM A NERD

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR REQUESTS OR HEADCANONS AKSJHD PLS ASK ME I LOVE BAND I LOVE MUSIC AND I LOVE THIS-

Izuku Midoriya:

Boy definitely plays a wind instrument. I’m assigning him clarinet

Wants to be first chair so bad, he practices so freaking much I swear

ALWAYS. IN. A. BAND. ROOM. with Iida and Uraraka. They’re always practicing

He’s so confused with music theory, please help him. He just,, WHY is it minor?? WHY IS THERE A SOLO WITH NOTHING WRITTEN?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE HAS TO IMPROVISE WITH THE CHORDS WRITTEN OVER THE BARS-

Ochako Uraraka:

ALTO SAXOPHONE-

She’s also comfortable enough to play 2nd or 3rd clarinet if needed, or even soprano saxophone

Doesn’t have her own instrument, she borrows from the school and she HATES the reeds, they’re crap. When someone gives her a good reed, she CHERISHES it.

In jazz band also! With the same instrument, but she doesn’t feel ready for solos so she’s usually 2nd or 3rd. Bro when she has to switch from swing to straight she ALWAYS forgets and it’s the band’s downfall.

Tenya Iida:

TRUMPET TRUMPET TRUMPET TRU-

And he’s one of THOSE trumpet players, by the way.

“Sir the French horns aren’t tuned” yeah, he has perfect pitch

Literally plays flight of the bumblebee as warm up. Or has his own warm up scales. Never practices right before practice though, he thinks it’s “too late” for that

Has his own trumpet, it’s silver with hints of gold/brass. Takes care of it RELIGIOUSLY.

He HATES having to blow out spit onto the floor, but dude what other choice do you have??

Momo Yaoyorozu:

Sweet angel 🥺🥺 she’s an oboe player

Definitely bought her own instrument

Sight reading MASTER. she instantly gets the key bro, it’s so rare that she forgets an incidental

Definitely leads sectionals all the time. And she does it WELL.

When people (*COUGH* BASSES*cough*) slowdown, she’ll sway to the beat in hopes that they’ll follow her

Kyoka Jirou:

Electric bass or contrabass, give her either and she’s good to go dude.

Also has perfect pitch and knows her music theory WAY more than a high school student should know. She’s a genius.

Her warm ups? Jam sessions with Hanta and Todoroki. She just shouts a key and they go. It’s usually jazz, she plays a pretty constant pattern, Todoroki tries to improvise but hanta takes over pretty quick-

Definitely in jazz band as well. Also in a school competition band (like singer and stuff), also a one-woman-band. She’s in so many bands dude.

Shouto Todoroki:

TENOR SAXOPHONE

Also has a background in flute bc his parents wanted him to have ~versatility~

Knows all the theory in his head, like he knows what’s going on, he just doesn’t know how to explain it

*false note* “sorry my instrument isn’t warmed up, it’s probably my reed”

Has plastic reeds. And reeds ESPECIALLY for jazz.

Oh yeah he’s in jazz band! Loves that he’s like, the only tenor saxophone so he gets all the solos

Rikidou Satou:

TUBA PLAYER IN DA HOUUUSSEEE

Buddy actually brings the tuba home to practice, he drags that thing AROUND.

Always. Slows. Down. But no one knows it’s his fault most of the time, they blame Sero-

Firmly believes in the “basses are the foundation of the orchestra” mindset, he’s so proud to be a bass

Kouji Kouda:

Soprano Saxophone, but can also handle clarinet if the need comes (he just loves the sound of soprano sax you guys)

DEFINITELY in jazz band, but as a Tenor Sax 2 bc he knows if he went as a soprano sax he probably would’ve gotten solos

Is it Momo’s oboe?? Is it Kouda’s soprano sax?? No one knows the different except those two and Jirou

Plays Shostakovich’s jazz suite no. 2 as a warm up

DEFINITELY A SWAYER. He just gets into the mood of the music and SWAYS.

Tooru Hagakure:

Flautist!! She chose it as an 11 y/o bc it was a girly instrument but she really likes it lol

A mediocre player, she spends most of warm up with Mina tho, she thinks that she’ll get to warm up when she’s playing bc I mean— no one hears the flutes

Wanted to main the picolo for the sole purpose that it’s an Ear Destroyer. Aizawa heard the mischief in her voice and said no.

Sight reading?? What’s that?? She has no idea what’s going on, she just pretends to play and when she’s comfortable with the melody, she’ll just step in. NEVER notices key changes and signatures.

Yuuga Aoyama:

LASKHDSJ FLAUTIST!! Also clarinetist. He loves being able to stay where he is during practice even though he changes instruments it’s sort of funny

His cheeks get SO SORE when he plays clarinet though and he WILL complain.

“My flute is so heavy!” Kind of guy.

Definitely has his own instruments and takes GREAT care of them.

Wetting his reed with his saliva?? No, he plops it in a glass of water instead (the reeds are definitely his own, and expensive)

Tsuyu Asui:

Trombone gang bro.

Positions are burnt into her brain dude she’ll never go out of tune.

SO SMOOTH. SOOOO SMOOO- dude she plays so well?? It’s never spitty, but during jazz (yes she’s in jazz), if it’s a moody piece she KNOWS how to make it juuussssttt airy enough to be beautiful

Not that good with fast songs, but she makes up for her amazing ass vibrato and her range. GOD-LIKE RANGE.

Mashirao Ojirou:

FRENCH HORN!!!

Omg he plays like a king. And he’s so proud of being the ONLY one playing French horn, but there is PRESSURE, because a French horn is rlly tricky to tune dude. Have you SEEN it??

Always keeps his mouthpiece with him, as if he’s afraid someone will play his instrument?? Like no dude it’s good in it’s case but you do you I guess

He doesn’t stand out that much, but in the majestic pieces where he has a 5 measure solo?? He gives it his all and he pulls it OFF. Those moments are always the highlight of the piece

Mezou Shouji:

Bass clarinet!!

Once he managed to growl through bass clarinet and literally ALL the saxophone players were jealous AS FUCK

Buddy goes to a low E♭ like it’s nothing?? And then he goes up to like a high high C and you’re sitting there like THE FUCKING RANGE-

His warmups are like, quick scales and arpeggios. Bro he’s so steady when he plays and he could play for HOURS. Sore cheeks?? Don’t know her.

He so proud of being a bass clarinetist, but when he saw an octobass clarinet?? Aizawa better order one of those for him RIGHT. NOW.

Fumikage Tokoyami:

Baritone saxophone. Also lowkey really wants to learn bassoon because it’s such an old instrument

SKSKS he and Shouji sit next to each other, Tokoyami loves to read off of Shouji’s partition and create the WORST fourths you’ll ever hear. Even Midoriya told them to shut the fuck up once

In jazz band too!! Still plays bari sax

Such,, a good,, sound. So,, meaty,, and full,, and HOT. Bari sax is HOT!!

Plays moanin’s intro as a warm up. Search up the song. It’s bomb.

He loves to figure out new sounds with his bari sax. The Too Many Zooz type of sounds

Hitoshi Shinsou:

PERCUSSIONIST. Especially loves the bells, timpani, vibraphone and marimba.

He’s in the back judging EVERYONE. It’s so great for him, he gets to stand there and cringe and no one will know

Totally able to play 4 mallets like the king he is

Surprisingly enough, he’s rlly good in music theory. Like he could probably compose or transpose something no problem

Aizawa’s favourite, of course. Will ask him to sit in front while they play and circle the parts where he thinks something sounds off

Now that we’ve talked about the NORMAL band kids, I present to you,,, the gremlin band kids

Mina Ashido:

Percussionist as well!! She loves snares but you’ll see her pick up castagnettes even if y’all are playing something like Gymnopédie no. 3 she’s a bit confused but she got the spirit.

CANNOT READ SHEET MUSIC. Like notes?? No. She can do beats, just not notes. Let Shinsou figure out the ancient languages dude

Her and Hagakure don’t warm up, they just gossip together.

Did this to Bakugou more than once

SHE DROPPED SO MUCH EQUIPMENT LIKE HOW DID SHE NOT BREAK ANYTHING YET??

Denki Kaminari:

TRUMPET.

Buddy AIMS to have his spit land on someone sitting in front of him (rip Todoroki and Uraraka)

Thinks he’s cool because he plays trumpet, but he always loses count. God forbid Iida cant show up to practice because Kaminari will die

“Where are we? What are we doing? Which piece are we doing? Where are we starting?” Oh my god he’s so lost can SOMEONE please help him

Always gets in trouble during band camps dude. He and Sero are the Bad Brass duo

Eijirou Kirishima:

EUPHONIUM BABEY!! He thinks it’s so cool and he’ll get so insulted if someone calls it a “mini tuba”

DONT GIVE HIM SHEET MUSIC IN BASS CLEF HE HATES IT PLS JUST TREBLE CLEF

So!! Protective of his euphonium. His name is Johnny, by the way. He named his instrument.

When they finish practicing a piece, he’s the first to give feedback. Usually it’s good, like praises for classmates he heard and thought were really good!!

He’s so sweet. Willing to help others during practice and sectionals too!! It’s so sad that he’s literally on the other side of the room bc KAMINARI NEEDS HIS HELP-

Katsuki Bakugou:

Hehehe he’s a flautist. I’ve stood by this headcanon for like two years.

And he wants to be THE BEST. You never knew growling could be done through a flute until you met Bakugou.

CANNOT STAND slow pieces. He wants to go all out all the time, he always speeds up when the tempo’s slow.

Also in jazz band with what? Flute. Yeah, this is George Benson Time.

Will hit you with his flute if you ever think badly of him for playing flute. He’ll defend flute ‘till he dies.

Hanta Sero:

TROMBONIST!!! TROMBONE BABEY.

Will be so happy if he’s in charge of bass trombone?? Like yay??

Always wants to hit Bakugou’s head while playing.

Bro his playing style?? You know the like, lazy-ish trombone playing? But it’s just so full and smooth and heavy anyways? That type of shit.

In jazz band, he’s actually a natural at jazz, doesn’t practice that much so he’s like not even in a good position, buddy just slouches and sight reads.

I love Hanta sm guys I could talk abt trombonist!Hanta forever

[imbeccablee]

HAPPY BIRTH TO OUR LITTLE GREEN FERAL BOI-HC about how his birthday were when he was younger compared to now? (bonus points for Mama Inko being the only constant and for steadily more and more people being at his parties and deku having no idea how to deal with so many people who love him)

oh you KNOW I'm here for that Izuku angst!!! (sorry this is late, I didnt see this until yesterday night lmao)

before Izuku was diagnosed, he would invite katsuki and those other boys over after daycare. it would always be a little awkward bc technically those other boys are more katsuki's friends than Izuku's but their parents made them go anyway bc it was the nice thing to do

oftentimes the rest of the party would end up with the boys playing with Izuku's new toys (which made him a lil upset but his mom says he should share and not be selfish and besides, these are his friends, he wants them to like him, so its whatever. it is) and also playing Heroes (this is the one of the few times Izuku is allowed to play a hero with katsuki (bc theres no way in heck katsuki would play a villain) and Izuku LIVES for it)

usually the other boys will leave and katsuki will spend the night. this is always the best part for Izuku because, while katsuki does keep showing off, it's almost softer in a way, like the fact that it's just the two of them, alone, with the rest of the world shut out makes katsuki relax and unwind. izuku doesnt understand why katsuki isnt like this all the time. he doesnt know how to ask, either.

this of course ends with his fifth birthday. the months following his fourth, he eagerly awaits the arrival of his quirk, but it never shows. a week after his fifth birthday (which had been even more awkward and embarrassing since his quirk still hadn't manifested), he is diagnosed. and, well, nobody wanted to go to his party after that.

the kids thought he was weird and lame and the parents were afraid their own kids would hurt him somehow if they were to come over, because they all believed the quirkless to be weak and fragile. this of course also meant that none of the kids were allowed to invite him over to their parties, the only exception being katsuki's. and then katsuki fell off a log into a shallow river and izuku tried to help him up and, well.

he still invites people, oh yes. the first few years, he makes little invitation cards drawn in all might colors and an enthusiastic "you're invited!" on the front. inko, the sweetheart, helps put them in envelopes and carefully stored them in Izuku's backpack and Izuku passes them out. the first time no one shows, izuku is devastated. the second time, after yet another year of being downgraded and belittled and beaten and ignored, he is still devastated, but he is not surprised. the third time, it aches and aches and aches, and he decides he's not going to make cards anymore. it's just a waste of time and paper.

inko tried so very hard. those first few birthdays After were completely unsalvageable, but after the third (when Izuku accepted no one would come) they got better. izuku was still sad and inko was still guilty, but they always had a lovely time with katsudon and cake and all might specials. sometimes, his dad would even remember to call and wish him a happy birthday. izuku was- well, not happy, but content. he had his mother. he had his conviction, his dream. what else could he need?

(he steadfastly ignored the longing, the ache. nothing he could do would fix it so there was no point in dwelling on it. it was stupid to feel that way anyway. his birthday was just another day of the week, the month, the year. it didnt matter. he shouldnt feel so bad about it. it didnt matter)

he didn't even think about telling all might his birthday. by the time he was 14 going on 15, he didnt really care about it. it had just been a day he got a gift or two from his mother, his favorite dinner, and a night spent rewatching all might documentaries or movies or interviews. you know, like basically every night, but like, older this time. so he doesnt mention it and all might never brought it up, so his 15th birthday comes and goes like every other birthday did after his 8th.

the truth of the matter was all might figured Izuku would mention it at some point during his training, like offhandedly saying he had to get home early so he could have a celebration, or make small talk about what he'd gotten, or even ask for the day off. but Izuku never did and all might felt too awkward to ask when it was (he didnt want to seem too eager to shower young Izuku with presents like something deep inside him begged for with a vengeance, even though he very much wanted to give Izuku literally anything he asked for. it is a troubling feeling), so all might just assumed his birthday hadn't come up yet.

then all might finally gets a look at Izuku's file, since all might is now a teacher, and sees 07/15/XXXX written and probably breaks the speed of sound with how quickly he calls izuku

"why didnt you tell me about your birthday!!" "wh- I mean- it's just not that big of a deal, I didnt think it was-" "NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL???"

he takes Izuku out to a very belated and nice birthday dinner and has to force an incredibly rare piece of decommissioned all might merch from his early days into Izuku's hands. despite his embarrassment and initial reluctance, that day is ranked in the top ten of his favorite days.

izuku doesnt learn his lesson, however, and neglects to tell his newly acquired friends about his date of birth. the only reason they find out is because all might, having been passing them by at the end of the school day, wished him a happy birthday.

"IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY????" "uraraka please its not a big deal-" "I have to disagree midoriya, today should be special!" "I mean, I dont think birthdays are all that important either" "THANK YOU todoroki"

(and then Izuku thinks for 2 seconds WHY Todoroki thinks birthdays are unimportant and gets sad again but we're not focusing on that rn)

ochako DEMANDS that they celebrate bc theres no way in hell she's allowing her best friend to go without a birthday celebration with friends, but Izuku insists that they at least wait until summer vacation starts in less than a week, especially since he cant just come home with three friends without telling his mom

ochakos like >:( for a second, but concedes bc that's fair and then she launches herself at Izuku and gives him a big ole hug and says "happy birthday!!!" izuku's all sputtering and blushing, and then he feels a hand on either arm and Iida and Todoroki give him warm smiles and wish the same and it takes a good five minutes for his face to calm down and for him to come out from behind his arms once Ochako releases him.

so he tells his mom that his friends want to come over to celebrate soon and inko is just like 😭😭😭😭😭 because FINALLY her boy has GOOD FRIENDS who want to CELEBRATE HIM and Izuku freaks out cuz his mom is crying but she waves him off and tells him to tell the dekusquad that they can come over on saturday and that they can spend the night and that they'll have a wonderful time!!!

izuku relays two-thirds of that information in their group chat and they all agree and then basically Izuku is dreading the weekend bc the few birthday parties he's had with his "friends" before hadn't been all that great (besides the sleepover part with katsuki, though their current animosity kinda makes the memories bittersweet), and like, while he knows objectively Ochako, iida, and Todoroki are Much Better than those boys from his childhood, he just doesnt have a good frame of reference for how these things go.

anyway, so Saturday comes around and Izuku is just listlessly lazing around while his mother finishes cooking ("let me help you mom-" "nuh uh, this is for YOUR celebration mister, you arent doing a THING today), and then theres an enthusiastic knock on his door, and when he goes and opens it his friends greet him with yet another cheer of "happy birthday deku/midoriya!!"

izuku smiles because its sweet even if he doesnt particularly care about birthdays, and invites them in. they set their presents on the table and Izuku's like "you didnt have to!!" and Ochako's like "NONSENSE" and Iida is like "how could we show up at your birthday celebration without presents???" and todoroki's like "any chance to spend endeavour's money on things he wouldnt like is a chance I will never not take" and Izuku is just like akdjajdhajsb when his mom finally comes and greets them

and like. it's nice. it's really really REALLY freaking nice. Izuku didnt realize how much he was actually missing having people with him in his home besides his mom until they were there. there's a wonderful warmth filling his chest as they all eat his mother's homemade katsudon and talk about school and how excited they are for the upcoming summer trip. and when heroes come up, they ask him about different quirks and how they work and what he thinks of this hero and that hero and the only time he's interrupted from his tangents is when he stops himself because he's embarrassed for talking for so long. and then they smile and prompt him some more, saying they love hearing him talk about the stuff that interests him, and can anyone really blame him for bursting into tears?

his friends are alarmed but his mom just smiles, tearing up herself, and she asks if he'd like a big hug, and he nods, face burning bright, and then they all gather him in a warm, enveloping embrace, and he wonders how in the hell he survived without this for so long?

he's so warm and loved and for the first time in forever he feels happy during his birthday celebration.

his 16th birthday party is so incredibly different from the parties he held before he was diagnosed and from the birthdays he spent with only his mother. he'd forgotten that feeling of being cared for by people who didnt need to, or rather he'd never really known it. there's a slight twinge that it took so long for him to learn this feeling, but it's completely overshadowed by the pure elation he feels at finally being able to breathe and relax and let himself be loved.

his friends still look concerned and they obviously have questions, but they dont pry as they all continue with the party. he opens their presents and cries again and then they watch a ton of hero movies and he cries a little more. iida worries he'll dehydrate himself and Ochako fuckin loses it and Todoroki has such a soft look on his face and GOD how has Izuku lived without friends? without THEM?

it's late when they turn in, with futons and mountains of pillows and blankets surrounding them on the living room floor. izuku is nestled between Ochako and Todoroki, and he stares at the ceiling as his friends doze around him. he can feel his heart beating in his chest and, with amusement, he feels his eyes watering again, but he blinks the tears away and whispers thickly, "hey guys?" once he gets sleepy questioning murmurs, he breathes in deeply and says, "thank you." in response Ochako and Todoroki schooch closer until they're cuddled on either arm and Izuku can see Iida doing the same on the other end of ochako. then Ochako mumbles, "anything for you, deku" to which the other two boys agree. and Izuku tries to not get choked up and fails again, but its okay, because its safe here and his friends are surrounding him with warmth and love and Izuku falls asleep happy.

(their second year they have another party, of course, but this one is bigger, with the whole class. it's in the dorm, which is fine bc he doesnt think his mom's apartment could hold all of them. it's just as wonderful as his 16th birthday. he managed to hold his tears back during nearly the entire thing, and the only reason he broke was because katsuki came up to him with a perfectly wrapped box, because everything katsuki does is perfect, and shoved it into his hands with a growled well wishes. katsuki yells at him and the class laughs good heartedly as he weeps, but Izuku is just focused on katsuki, who looks soft and relaxed and nearly identical to the version of him that Izuku saw so, so long ago. and as Izuku thanks him for the present and katsuki berates him cuz "you dont even know what it is yet you idiot open it already", izuku feels a new happiness bubbling up in him, because he's so incredibly glad katsuki has been able to heal as well)

[brushes-of-sage]

If all 8 parts dont come thru blame tumblr and their ask limit frozen au idea: ok so yeah varian was born with ice powers(btw i have no idea if hugos adopted in this au or not, it might come back later, my brain is just spitting things at me atm)Varian hugo quirin and ulla were a happy family until one day and accident involving alchemy, ice magic, and a startled alchemist involves in both parents getting trapped in a giant amber trap(Hugo comes in just as the amber finishes consuming them)(1/8)

After this, varian is scared of himself and his abilities both in magic and alchemy. He now wears his gloves 24/7 as opposed to just during experimenting(varian is 9, hugo is 8 kinda like elsa and anna but flipped(i think)) Any confidence he had in his abilities is immediately shattered and try as he might he cant seem to free his parents with magic alchemy or both. Hugo tries to help as much he can but varian is too scared and doesnt want to hurt him. After doing some research,(2/8)

he tries to ask for the trolls help but they cant so he requests they erase his memories of varians power, for fear of hurting his brother (he cant seem to keep hugo out of his lab. He feels horrible about it but cant risk hurting his only family left) Btw i dont c varian hurting hugo accidentally as well i dont think he could emotionally handle it, but all u angst writers, knock urselves out. Fast forward a few years and varian is 21 and about to be crowned king bc he still hasnt found(3/8)

a way to free his parents. While at the coronation party hugo meets donella, quickly filling the mother role he wished he had. Little does he know, she is only posing as a foreign dignitary bc she heard rumors about a magical prince hiding in arendelle and wants to exploit/study it. By the end of the evening she determines its not hugo, but hopes getting in hugos good graces could help getting to varian. Fast forward to the ballroom, the brothers argue (about what i dunno), ice spikes, (4/8)

varian runs, hugo leaves to follow him, and leaves donella in charge. I also headcannon he gets his memories back as the movie goes on bc reasons. Along the way, he runs into belle, a hardened ice harvester whos seriously annoyed about this snow storm in july.(dont worry guys hugo and belle dont fall in love, theyre just friends)They trek their way up the mountain while varian builds himself an ice lab cuz hes a dork. Along the way they meet ice ruddiger("Im sorry u 2 made a snow raccoon but(5/8

not a snowman?" "shut up Belle")So they make it to the lab, Hugos impressed, he wants to reconcile, but varian still has Confidence Issues, insert first time in 4evr reprise and whoopsies Hugos heart is frozen and his hair is turning blue(its already blond) and Belle takes him to the trolls. They tell him “an act of true love” like b4 but they interpret it as familial/platonic love bc that love doesnt get enough love. He thinks its donella bc just like how anna was desperate for love,(6/8)

hugo was desperate for some sort of parental figure, and rushes back, insert evil monologue by donella here. The rest of the movie pretty much plays out as b4: varian is captured, donella continues playing good guy, hugo gets out of the locked library, slowly freezing as he makes his way across the fjord insert art by mom, love heals, parents are finally free, gates are open roll credits. This is honestly something ive been thinking about all day and this au now lives in my mind rent free.(7/8)

I know there are plot holes and missing elements, but this is what i have so far, i lowkey love it, and if u have any questions pls ask, i wanna elaborate this au as much as possible and questions will help and pls tag mom i want her to c this. Sorry if this is too long i just have a lot of thoughts. And oh my goodness that means so much that you've gotten invested tysm(8/8) -💙

Response under cut

Okay, first off oh my heart, I need this movie now akfjakfja (and tagging @cinn-a-mom too ‘cause bless)

So lil Varian is the partial cause of the encasement, right? ‘Cause oh gosh, this poor kid being so enthused by alchemy and now has powers and all of that building up to encasing his parents?? Someone give him a hug 🥺🥺 (and omigosh if this does end up being where Hugo is somehow adopted into the family, just ohhhhh, him coming in at that moment is just *tears*)

And ohhhhh, I love how you slightly changed it to, if I understood right, Varian requesting that the trolls take away Hugo’s memories of his powers - ‘cause this kid is just wanting to help and Varian is scared and worried of hurting him, so he sees this as an option to protect him. (And ohhh, while the angst of him accidentally hurting Hugo with his powers is definitely wonderful, now I’m just imagining smol Varian going to the trolls and pleading for them to help and then coming to the decision to take away Hugo’s memories. Like OH MY HEART-)

And ohhh, I don’t think it’d play such a big part in the story, but as they’re both growing up, who’s acting regent at the moment? Or at least I’m just musing how things would be as they’re growing up since they were kids when Quirin and Ulla were encased (and if you don’t have any thoughts for it yet, that’s totally cool 🤗)

Ajfkakfjka Donella posing as a foreign dignitary to find the ‘magical prince’ to study is ahhhhhhhh- And then Hugo being drawn to her as the mother figure he’d always wanted and lacked for so long????? Lemme just

*sobs*

(Ajfkakdj Varian is SUCH A DORK OMIGOSH I LOVE HIM)

And omigosh, the whole dynamics between Belle and Hugo would be hilarious (“Shut up Belle” while she’s laughing yessss) Also snow/ice Ruddiger is absolutely adorable ahhhhh!

Hnnnnnngggg First Time I’m Forever Reprise and Hugo believing that Donella could break the spell (and ahhhhhh, I can just barely imagine how that monologue would go down - how she was never there for him, why would anyone want him - oh gosh, insert “More Than Just the Spare” ‘cause that’s literally how he’s feeling ahhhh - aldjgjlad even more so especially if he was adopted/taken in because he’ll feel even more isolated after all of this had happened, which is another reason why he was drawn to Donella in the first place)

And then cue Cinn’s art where Hugo sacrifices himself for Varian and we’re here to see all of the tears and sobbing and feels akfjakfjaj

BUT OMIGOSH I FREAKING LOVE THIS - Varian and all of his issues in confidence and his struggle to overcome it, Hugo and his issues in wanting to feel loved from having been pushed away for so long, you mentioned Belle was hardened so I’m excited to see her soften up ajfkakdj, and then DONELLA HECK YEAH - I was not expecting the route you took but I love it so much that it gave me chills ahhhhhh.

Wonder how Quirin and Ulla react to all of this once they get out ‘cause they’ve all grown so much and their kingdom as well

I freaking love this AU and the angst lord in me, while quite enjoying the soft and the fluff, is grinning quite malevolently at the angsty scenes hehehehehe, but seriously, this is AWESOME 😱

[nabtime]

Hold My Broken Hands, Ignite My Burning Heart

1h27min/25 songs that make me think of Tododeku in different ways 

Fire - Diskopunk // Out of My League - Fitz and The Tantrums // Aawake at Night - halfalive // Bad Liar - Selena Gomez  // Collide - Howie Day // Falling For U - Peachy!, mxmtoon // Crush - Tessa Violet // Would You Be So Kind - dodie // Please Notice - Christian Leave // I See You - MISSIO // Talk Too Much - COIN // Tongue Tied - Grouplove // When the Day Met the Night - Panic! at the Disco // First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes // Home to You - Sigrid // Fall On Me - A Great Big World // Grow As We Go - Ben Platt // Two - Sleeping at Last // High Hope - Patrick Droney // Talk to Me - Cavetown // Sunkissed - khai dreams // I Do Adore - Mindy Gledhill // Pink in the Night - Mitski // Laundry Room - The Avett Brothers // Brand New Day - Kodaline 

explanations for song choice under the cut ! its looooong

Fire - “When I saw you a fire / Started in my heart / I looked at you again / Yeah, you've burned from the start” 

Every tododeku fic youve ever read has a moment like this or a moment similar. izuku has to light shouto on fire either metaphorically or literally. “It’s your power, isn’t it?” This song is for that. its about a spark that ignites between them, whatever the catalyst, and sets the world around them ablaze (wonder, gratitude, amazement, relief, an all-encompassing light and bubbly feeling that leaves them stunned and in love)

Out of My League -  “You were out of my league / Got my heartbeat racing / If I die, don't wake me / 'Cause you are more than just a dream”

both of these idiots, at one point or another, think that the other one is out of their league. Izuku is far too cute and personable and an over all sunshine beacon and obviously he is far too good of a person to ever be in Todoroki’s league and Todoroki is far too beautiful and composed and an over all competent badass to ever be in Midoriya’s league 

Aawake at Night -  “ Alone in a crowded room / My eyes will search for you / Abandoned by my company / I'll search for what's in front of me / And hope that I find something new”

a tribute to those fics where Midoriya and Todoroki meet at a party. where they lock eyes and everything begins from there bc damn if they hadn’t just spotted the hottest person theyd ever seen. its about those fics where theyre both awkward wallflowers finding solidarity in not wanting to be at this party that their friends dragged them and abandoned them in

Collide - “ I'm open, you're closed / Where I follow, you'll go / I worry I won't see your face / Light up again / Even the best fall down sometimes / Even the wrong words seem to rhyme / Out of the doubt that fills my mind / I somehow find / You and I collide”

what is this an early 20s comedy show that has its surprisingly deep/romantic subplot moments? absolutely and there’s noting you can do about it. its about Midoriya punching Todoroki with friendship and then showing him via the dekusquad how to be a person and that friendship slowly evolving into love. its about Midoriya being fumbling and awkward sometimes bc this is the first time hes ever had friends or a crush that he actually talks to?? on a regular basis?? and even though getting together is a clumsy mess they still come together

Bad Liar - “ Oh I'm tryin' /  Not to think about you /  With my feelings on fire / Guess I'm a bad liar “

Theyre gay and trying to repress their feelings and thankfully its not really working out for them. its about the boys trying so so hard to not be in love with the other for whatever reasons the fic has (he’s my best friend and i dont wanna ruin it, obviously he doesnt like me like that, my father would kill him, etc etc) and failing miserably. 

Falling For U - “ I didn't wanna believe my feelings for you / I didn't wanna believe that I could lose you / If I told you just how I felt “

Gay repression and mutual pining take 2 ! but also including That Moment when oh everything comes together and oh my goodness im in love ?? and Midoriya cant believe the world is crashing down around him and Todoroki has set himself on fire and theyre both so dense and suffering from so much emotional trauma but here they are, in love. 

Crush - “  You make it difficult to not overthink / And when I'm with you I turn all shades of pink, ah / I wanna touch you but don't wanna be weird / It's such a rush, I'm thinking wish you were here, ah-ahh “

doesnt matter when the fic is set, if theyre teenagers or adults, these boys are the epitome of puppy love crushes and blushes and fumbled awkward words and gestures and not quite knowing what to do with their feelings and theyre both so anxious about and its always such a relief to find out that its all mutual but still, having that crush is always like being hit over the head with affection

Would You Be So Kind - “ Oh would you be / So kind / As to fall in love with me, you see / I'm trying / I know you know that I like you / But that's not enough / So if you will / Please fall in love “

oooo its about that sweet sweet mutual pining that they both thing will forever remain unrequited and that yearning for the other to love just as much as them. its about the boys falling into daydreams about what it would be like if their feelings were mutual. its about that first fumbling confession maybe where its either todoroki being blunt or midoriya finally scraping together his courage and always always saying “its okay if you dont feel the same, we can forget this and still be friends, but i need you to know...” and its about hoping, hoping so much, that they wont stay friends and that maybe, if the other takes the chance, he’ll fall in love too (even tho he’s already there) its about skirting the edge of friendship and pushing boundaries into the romantic hoping that it sparks something (even tho it already has) its about fake dating with a crush and never demanding that the other not fall in love (bc maybe theres hope)

Please Notice - “ Do you know how in love with you / I am / Do you see how in love with you / I am / Every thing that you do, it makes my heart stop / Oh, it stops / And baby when you sleep, do you dream of me? “

its about that hope again. its about midoriya staying up so late at night overthinking everything hes ever done and wondering if todoroki is just humoring him bc his crush on the other is just so so obvious and it feels so awful to know that hes so obvious and todoroki is just playing along and he wonders if todoroki really knows how much he loves him. its about todoroki in his own room, worrying about the same thing. its about noticing the little things about each other. its about already knowing a whole host of secrets and knowing its okay to trust themselves to the other. its about midoriya noticing everything about todoroki and detailing all his little ticks and favorite things in his notebooks and hoping that todoroki notices just as many things about him, wanting the other to feel the same depth of feelings. its about todoroki becoming more and more emotionally aware (heroes can cry too) and noticing everything about midoriya and thinking hes just cataloging everything he’d need to take down a rival but do you really need to know all of someones different smiles in order to fight them?

I See You - “ I'm alone with you / You're alone with me / And I'm hoping that you will see yourself / Like I see you / Yes, I see you “

its about mutually loving each other even in the hard times, even in the sad times. its about that sweet sweet hurt/comfort that the both of them inevitably have to have bc of the trauma each of them have faced either in their childhood or together as heroes. its about being able to see through the masks that they both have whether it be a stoic one or a smile. its about hoping that the other will see their own inherent worth past their hurting and understand why they love them. its about hoping the other will see how much they love them 

Talk Too Much - “ You know I talk too much / Honey, come put your lips on mine and shut me up / We could blame it all on human nature / Stay cool, it's just a kiss / Oh, why you gotta be so talkative? / I talk too much, we talk too much “

a cute and silly song about midoriya being overly talkative bc hes a little chatterbox and we all know that todoroki loves it but sometimes it get a little frustrating when he wants kisses instead of the fifty-third rant about all mights golden age costume design (really todo it was a brilliantly done color scheme and- and the symbolism!) and maybe sometimes even midoriya would rather be kissing than talking too

Tongue Tied - “ I loved you then and I love you now / Oh yeah / Don't take me tongue tied / Don't wave no goodbye “

kinda debated about whether or not this one fit enough to keep but its a bop so it stays. its mostly the tongue tied part of the lyrics that apply bc both the boys get a little mixed up and tongue tied when it comes to talking to each other when theyre in love and crushing hard ( mostly midoriya but todoroki too) 

When the Day Met the Night - “  When the moon fell in love with the sun / All was golden in the sky / All was golden when the day met the night “

do i really need to day more than sun and moon motif tododeku? its about izuku bringing warmth back to shoutos life and shouto being a steady gentle presence for izuku. its about izuku being able to light up a room and shouto being full of radiant grace and the two coming together as opposites in harmony 

First Day of My Life - “  Yours was the first face that I saw / I think I was blind before I met you / And I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been / But I know where I want to go / And so I'd thought I'd let you know / Yeah, these things take forever, I especially am slow / But I realized that I need you / And I wondered if I could come home “

we’re getting into the really mushy gushy songs that make me sigh like a lovelorn maiden or something. i love this one for tododeku especially with the sports festival in mind as a sort of awakening. like shouto had only just realized what it was like to fully live for himself bc of izuku. izuku really opened up a path for him and guided him out of his misery into a brand new life full of acceptance and love. and shouto was there to return that love tenfold to izuku who hadnt really ever felt such devotion before. its about finally realizing that they can be so good together. its about wanting to come home to each other 

Home to You - “  But I see the world so different now / But there's a place by the sea and that's my town / When I don't know what to say / When I don't know what to do / There's a room I need to sit in / Surrounded by my favorite view / When I need a hand to hold / Someone to tell the truth / Would it be okay if I came home to you? “

One of my favorite ooey gooey songs about coming home and finding solace in another, which is just so perfect for tododeku. i love it when shouto feels like izuku is his home. that hes never felt like he truly belonged anywhere before he started belonging in izukus arms, holding his hand, and loving him. i feel like they would be good for settling each others doubts and fears. izuku worries that hes not good enough, that he needs to do more in whatever hes doing, that he will once again be found useless. but shouto is no nonsense enough to tell him straight that hes enough, hes wonderful, and already does so so much that its astounding and izuku cant help but to believe him. and when shouto starts to think hes like his father too much in the wrong way, starting to doubt is path in life, or thinks that his trauma makes him too difficult to deal with. but izuku is far too open and loving and shouto knows hes far too good to ever let shouto be what he fears most and izuku is there to remind him of all the good things hes done to earn that love. its about both of them being emotionally repressed in different ways and not knowing what to do or what to say but finding a way to communicate with each other anyway. 

Fall On Me - “  Fly like a cannonball straight to my soul / Tear me to pieces and make me feel whole / I'm willing to fight for it / To feel something new / To know what it's like to be sharing a space with you “

there can be a lot of challenges for the boys depending on the setting their relationship takes place in; shouto’s father always plays a role, kacchans attitude whether a constant interference or a ghost of izuku’s past, acceptance from the outside world, acceptance from friends and family, power imbalance (shoutos a prince and izukus a servant/knight/random adventurer) and a whole host of fic specific issues. this is about falling in love with each other despite them all, this is about begging each other to fall despite the dangers, this is about fighting to be together anyway. this is about finding an impossible love that shocks your soul and embracing it with all your heart.  

Grow As We Go - “  I don't know who we'll become / I can't promise it's not written in the stars / But I believe that when it's done / We're gonna see that it was better / That we grew up together / Tell me you don't wanna leave / 'Cause if change is what you need / You can change right next to me / When you're high, I'll take the lows / You can ebb and I can flow / We'll take it slow / And grow as we go “

you know some of those fics that hurt good bc mostly izuku but sometimes also shouto decide that their hero careers need to come first and that having a relationship would only interfere with that despite the fact that they love each other a lot? this is the song that plays when they realize that’s not true and come together and decide to be together anyway and that theyll be stronger for it. its about growing together as a couple as well as separately and still loving each other even through the changes. its about rising through the ranks together. learning about the world, together. and its about taking on any challenge thrown at them. together. growing, changing, loving.

Two - “  I know exactly how the rule goes / Put my mask on first / No, I don't want to talk about myself / Tell me where it hurts / I just want to build you up, build you up / 'Til you're good as new / And maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too / Like a force to be reckoned with / A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss / I will love you with every single thing I have / Like a tidal wave, I'll make a mess / Or calm waters, if that serves you best / I will love you without any strings attached “

listen listen this song is so so so good for tododeku like look at those lyrics i just wanna cry about it. its about highlighting the flaws that can happen in their relationship when theyre both trying to fix the other more than to help themselves (especially izuku like baby boy please) its about making the promise to love each other unconditionally bc neither have really had that before outside of their moms? (and shoutos sibs) love without strings attached (doesnt matter if you were quirkless, doesnt matter if youre not the number one hero, doesnt matter that youve been through so much trauma ill help you and love you anyway) both of them striving to be the best fit for the other either a tidal wave or calm waters, eaither righteous fury or gentle love and its about just being so so thankful that they love each other even through the hard times

High Hope - “  Know you're coming from a bad place / Honey, I was there just yesterday / So I know the time it's gonna take / For you to feel like you again / And I'll be here if you need me / If you don't, just know / I've got a high, high, high, high hope “

this about past trauma and shared trauma and healing both on their own and together and knowing their relationship can weather through it all. this is about izuku comforting shouto through everything about his father and his family and the feelings that dredge up when someone asks about endeavor and its about shouto helping izuku through his complicated relationship with katsuki and how he flinches when a villain says his hero name in just the wrong tone. its about izuku covering shoutos scar with kisses and its about shouto tracing his fingers along the scar tissue on izukus hands. its about being patient and waiting and helping each other through times that feel like just too much to handle. 

Talk to Me - “ You don't have to be a hero to save the world / You don't have to be a prodigy to be unique / You don't have to know what to say or what to think / You don't have to be anybody you can never be / That's alright, let it out, talk to me “

its about both of them living up to the high expectations placed on their shoulders and telling each other that theyre enough. that izuku doesnt have to be the next symbol of peace exactly like all might. that shouto doesnt have to be the number one hero exactly like his father. its about encouraging each other to talk even though their both bad at it; izuku mumbles and stutters and takes forever to get to the point and shouto takes a long time to say what hes thinking and form it all into words and sometimes he still cant find the right ones. but shouto is patient and so is izuku.  

Sunkissed - “  So slowly a sunlit dream pulls me out of sleep / Feel the morning through the blinds / I turn my head to meet your sunkissed face / In this quite place I can give you all my time “

the ooiest and gooiest and again with all the sunlight that always used as a lovely motif. izuku is always lit up like the sun and shoutos hair always catches the light just so. its about finding each other and falling into a home and comfort together and being disgustingly in love with each other. its about the comfort that comes after the hurt and being happy and being at peace with each other

I Do Adore - “ When you're near, I hide my blushing face / And trip on my shoelaces / Grace just isn't my forté / But it brings me to my knees when you say / Hello, how are you, my darling, today? / I fall into a pile on the floor / Puppy love is hard to ignore / When every little thing you do, I do adore  “

ah another cute to emphasize that both the boys are dorks and sometimes even when theyve established that they like each other they cant help but combust into blushing messes. its about how sometimes shouto still lights himself on fire when izuku has a rare bout of confidence and really zuku that was very bold and my heart cant take it and about how shouto can still shock izuku speechless with a few well timed kisses 

Pink in the Night - “  I could stare at your back all day / And I know I've kissed you before, but / I didn't do it right / Can I try again, try again, try again / Try again, and again, and again “

izukus got a nice strong back and so does shouto (theyre heroes of course they cut a nice figure) and sometimes shouto gets lost in daydreams and sometimes izuku does too and its about the soft soft kisses that neither can get enough of. its about the yearning despite finding each other bc sometimes it doesnt feel real and ya gotta kiss again and again just to make sure and honestly its a mitski song what more to you want from me

Laundry Room - “ Don't push me out / Just a little longer / Stall your mother / Disregard your father's words / Close the laundry door / Tiptoe across the floor / Keep your clothes on / I've got all that I can take / Teach me how to use / The love that people say you made “

theres just so many fics about laundry? what makes doing laundry together so intimate? sharing detergent and smelling like each others clothes? showing a part of yourself to someone else? anyway, its about love and being home with each other and wishing the love will last. its about sometimes things dont end so well and you want to turn back time and sometimes izuku leaves and sometimes shouto runs but most times one or the other comes back and it all hurts but the love again is worth it

Brand New Day - “ I'll be flicking stones at your window / I'll be waiting outside 'til you're ready to go / Won't you come down? Come away with me / Think of all the places we could be / I'll be waiting, waiting on a brand new day  “

its about running away together or just traveling the word together or going out on a journey (always together) its about izuku wanting to go to the states for hero work or about prince shouto needing to complete a quest to be free of his father and its about izuku not wanting to go without shouto and about prince shouto only loving the journey after picking up a stray green-haired adventurer. its about beginning something new together, its about ending one chapter and starting another. 

oh tha t took soooooo long . ..  anyway ! hope you enjoyed !!!

[mysmedrabbles]

Fourth of July with the RFA

Happy fourth of July to my American followers!! Sorry this was written so quick I got this idea like 5 seconds ago and I have plans for today whoops not the best time.idk why jumins is always the longest tf?

!!!Said RFA member and mc are in America for summer holidays with an American MC!!!

Enjoy!~

-mod alex

______________________________________________

Jumin

-when you told him you were planning a party for the fourth he got excited

-mainly bc he knows how classy most of your parties turn out

-when he shows up to a barbecue grill out with tiki torches, too much beer, something called a “sloppy joe” and 99 cent store American flag streamers he’s more than confused and slightly appalled

-also because hes literally wearing his best suit to a backyard bash

-finds a way to look more casual (you know, taking off the jacket, rolling up his sleeves, no tie, shirt slightly unbuttoned, aaaand now im nosebleeding)

-at first doesnt understand why the heCK there are sloppy joes its a mystery to us all

- is his normal charming self with your relatives you better watch out, that pervy cousin is making eyes at jumin

-makes a speech about american independence bc hes an extra lil shit and ends it with, “so therefore, if the british had never given america independence...i wouldve never met the love of my life. Happy fourth of july.”

-everyones drunk tho so no one really heard that but you and the one overemotional 4′5 aunt who cries at everything

-sitting on the grass and watching the fireworks show

-him putting his jacket around you when you get cold, you just leaning your head on his shoulder as he kisses the top of your head

-he doesnt understand sloppy joes but likes spending time with your family

Jaehee

-vaguely knows what its about

-buys you red white and blue flowers

-you guys go with your family to a local festival

-going on a merry go round together? you betcha

-going on a ferris wheel? ofc. kissing her every time the ferris wheel booth you guys are in goes up bc shes mildly scared of heights? y e s

-you guys eat some of the weirdest things, like fried butter? bacon and maple donuts? sloppy joes? fried cotton candy?

-playing the expensive festival games that are obviously rigged

-little did they know that baehee had prepared for this moment by practicing devil tricks with multiple youtube videos lmao

-she wins you a small stuffed panda and you cherish it forever

-walking around with her, hand in hand around the festival

-getting red white and blue streaks painted on your guys’ face

-kissing under the fireworks

Yoosung

-is so excited for this holiday

-i mean he loves all holidays but hes never experienced the horror fun of an American holiday

-you guys buy some wacky red white and blue sunglasses with “Fourth of July” written on top as well as those obnoxiously tall fluffy America flag hats (yall know what im going on about)

-”look honey! a fourth of july sale!” “yoosung, love, its the fourth Walmart we've passed they all have sales”

-trying various themed recipes together (granted since youre here for holiday and are at your parents, your younger sibling often intervenes)

-"moooooommm mc and her boyfriend are kissing in the kitchen againnnnn"

-him back-hugging you as you stir fry some shit idk cooking lingo all I eat is doritos and ramen

-kissing your shoulder as you finish making the decor on the America themed cake

-him getting along great with your family and fitting right in

-it seems so natural, how easily he smiles and cracks jokes with your parents

-wants to help with the barbeque but thats your thing to do and you will stand by that

-him buying you roses

-both of you guys playing tag with your younger siblings and cousins you guys lost

-when the fireworks start he probably yells out a scream from shock

-flinches every time one of them goes off so you guys go inside and move the couch so that youre still facing outside but the door is shut so no noise

-making out when it gets dark

-he tastes like cake and strawberries

-with the fireworks in the back y'all look like youre in a disney movie

Seven

-stay in watching documentaries on the revolutionary war

-you guys just mute it at one point and he starts doing silly voice overs for the show

- “I’m mad at some dudes so I’ll lift up my hat at you while I row away with these big guns and all your husbands and sons hrrrrrr”

-eating red white and blue candy and drinking an inhumane amount of Dr.Pepper

-you drag him outside to the park to watch fireworks that the neighbors are throwing

- “look theres one!!” “ah did you see that one??” “that one was so pretty!” “damn you just missed a really big one”

-you guys would hang out in the park until three am just enjoying each others company

-yall would probably go on the kids playground and goof off, playing on the swings, going down the like,,, three foot long slide, just being little kids

-any holiday is the best holiday with him

Zen

-he sings the star spangled banner 😂

-he's got an amazing voice but youre p aure hes holding the last note just to show off

-you guys buy matching tshirts that say "sloppy joes come and get some this is AmErICa" with a picture of childish gambino dabbing bet you wished it said smtn abt sloppy joes now huh

-going down to the beach for the day

-getting one of those giant donut rafts and just chillin together y'all better hope you aint on the west coast w one of those

-a tickle war breaks out, resulting in you falling off the raft

-zen dramatically "saving you" its like 6ft of water people cmon

-him giving you mouth to mouth cpr even tho you dont need it so basically y'all are just making out

-going to a local restaurant for sloppy joes burgers and fries

-new drinking game: every time I say sloppy joes , take a drink

-going on the boardwalk at sunset and watching the fireworks from the cruise ships

-he cant stop staring at how gorgeous you look, staring at the fireworks like theyre magic

-cant help himself from kissing you

-late night pretzels

[angeljonghyun]

So i guess here goes my longer ramble about my feelings and thoughts. No need to read it. Feel free to ignore it. The only way for me to feel relief is to post it online in some way and although i know tumblr is such a toxic site its the only space that feels right for it. its probably full of typos and doesnt make any sense, but hey who cares.

So yeah

Lately a lot of things happened, things which im thankful for and things that help me heal, but theyre not big of a help since my emotions are so strong. As some might know im currently in a clinic for relaxation 5 days a week from 10 am-2:30 pm and its pretty tough. Being around people again, experiencing painful moments during acupuncture (they find good spots that make me cry, not even really bc theyre hurting but they just make me feel all my inner pain all at once), feeling uncomfortable around certain people there and not loving all therapists bc theyre way too harsh with their words.

The past weeks have been intense and exhausting.. and since its all about relaxing i had much time to think. I had lots of time to think about jjong. Sadly it never felt like i have space, strength and time to heal properly.

I feel lots of pain,my heart feels so heavy, im bitter and im weak? Im forcing my emotions to stay calm, i hate crying in the clinic, i cant open up properly and just dont want to cry there all the time although i know i should but i just cant.

Jjong is on my mind 24/7 like literally 24/7 hes always there, always was and idk how much longer he will be but i want him to leave. My memories and the emptiness which i feel is too much, its draining me its hurting so freaking much that i cant even put it in words and the bad thing is that no one really understands.

People may know that im sad in a way but i dont think anyone understands my pain completely, obviously not, no one ever knows how one truly feels, but its a devastating feeling. Its a feeling that makes me feel quite lost and lonely, because the only person i always believed would understand my pain was him. He was my safe haven, he was the one who would be there and never judge and just understand.

Its a really sick part of my mind which has still control over this part of my emotions, i cant trust anyone, i always.. ALWAYS feel judged and i always feel like a burden and i never want to talk about my struggles because it only causes so much more chaos or eventually i never feel like the person tries and feel all lonely and unimportant again.

Jjong he was just there.. you know ?

Just his existence caused some kind of comfort for my soul, a place to rest and feel nothing but good things for a bit although even he was hurting me too, but i accepted it bc he was far away and it was ok. He was so far away always and that gave me the chance to create the 'perfect' comfort zone. I didnt know him, he was never here.. i will just pick out parts i need and use them to stay alive.

Its not something good, but i feel like everyone does this stuff with their bias. Some more than others. I did it too much and that shows how weak and hurt my soul is. Instead of working on my problems properly i just fled into the comfort of jjongs existence, one that was so very similar to my mothers, my mother who i have lost in november 2014. winter... buried in december. Winter. The season where I lost the most important person in my life not only once, but twice now.

Jjong was like a mother to me. I cant describe my feelings for him in another way. He protected me from so much evil within myself while i wanted to protect him too at all costs and it feels HORRIBLE to have failed yet another time. It hurts so fucking much that i lost him too. He who was the biggest reason for me not to kill myself after my mom died. He who was the reason why i started eating again after developing an eating disorder. He who caused so much good in my life. He who in some way managed to manipulate me in the best possible way.

In the end it was all me, i know that, but its still the bond i had to jjong. A sick and sad one and the worst part is that i felt ready to let go slowly at the end of last year. I started realizing that i coudlnt be thinking about him all the time anymore. I want to start going to school again after 4 years of nothing but therapy. I would HAVE to let go and create a more healthy relationship. I was so ready. And then he took his own life..

He stole the opportunity from me to change. He left me here. He left me and all my problems still attached to him behind. Hes not here anymore and although i never saw him or heard or felt him in real life it makes such a huge difference to me and at the same time it doesnt. That is one of the most confusing and depressing feelings ive ever felt.

I wanted to see him in 2018.. i had many chances to see him but never one to go with me. I finally had someone to go with... and now im here.. with that opportunity gone. My biggest wish my biggest dream, the ONE thing that kept me alive for so long. Gone... all ive ever wanted was to see him live. And now.. yeah.

Those are all selfish reasons. I know that. If you even read this then no its not all i feel, but of course my feelings towards him are most important to me, its the only feelings i can work on and the only ones i truly feel. My healthy grief is there too. A distanced version of what i personally feel and no other could. But thats not truly what this post is about. Please dont judge.

So now im here and i dont know what to do.

Death has been the worst and most intense trigger in my life forever. I started being so afraid of death as a child that i could not sleep anymore bc i thought i would die. It was a horrible time, therapy followed, fear left for a few years and came back as strong as ever. Its here too now. My fear. Another reason why i am alive now, yet its not strong enough to truly shut my self destructive thoughts up. Ive noticed that around the time of jjongs burial. I was ... so ready to leave. I still feel sympathy and empathy for myself there. Bc my pain is so big. Its truly so immense but no one truly knows or cares much. Maybe my therapist, but i doubt it.

Well im now always thinking about death and jjong being dead and ive said before that these thoughts are really killing me inside. Idk where he is, how he is, how he feels, does he feel? Whats up with him... what happens??? Its so scary. I find zero comfort in the thought of him resting bc where is he? Is he resting? Does he know? Where is the man i love so freaking much? Where is my mom? Is she with him? Are they lonely?

Ive always said

When its about death, i envy religious people. They have something to hold onto. I have nothing but the unknown in my head. Another one of my biggest fears and my loved ones are stuck in there. In the unknown. And im not there and i couldnt say goodbye to either of them.

Im so bitter i envy everyone whose bias is still there and im always thinking why him. Why HIM why another person of My life why someone i love so much why when i was feeling so much better thanks to him why did he have to suffer. Will i lose everyone?

Im afraid to sleep still bc im scared to wake up to news of another loved one gone. The fears and memories, theyre everywhere. I cant escape and i hate it and dont know how to process.

The most important form of jjong to me was and still is the fictional one, although jjong as a distant human being will always be more fictional to me than real. The fictional version which i have created for my own reasons, its still there just like always, its still cheering me up, its sweet its cute and lovely, but still hard to work with bc i always end up thinking about the real jjong.

Now after seeing the pictures of his grave i rather see that image than him as a person. I welcome that. Im glad i saw the pics bc its all more real to me now, im glad i saw the burial video.. although i never wanted it to be filmed or real in the first place. I dont think i would be still as sane as i am atm if i didn’t see this stuff.

I know that im doing quite good.. i should be proud of myself i guess.. but my pain is overshadowing everything else to the point where im completely at loss of every emotion just thinking about jjong not being here anymore.

Knowledge about his passing, own experiences and the whole process, everything. It haunts me.

Its quite a long way to go i think. I always felt so close to him, we were so similar and although he had many flaws i didnt quite like, especially as i was getting more healthy and he was still stuck, i still loved him so much and accepted that. He was getting so much better from and outside point of view and maybe that was the reason why he finally found strength to leave and its such a sad thing to think about, but i cant really change a thing anymore.

Sadly. Yeah ..

At the end of this i just want to say. Please just care, be there and if a depressed person in your life gets better please pay special attention bc it might be their chance to end it all. I dont want people to die bc of that dumb fucking illness anymore and i know its not possible to prevent it completely but well..

Im tired and theres still so much more to say for me but i cant say much more now. My head hurts and i need to get up and do something in order to forget about all of this for a while.

Please stay strong, please dont give up. I promise you one day it will get better, never fully ok, but better.

Im trying my best to find joy in jjong and shinee again, i doubt that i will, but im trying. I wont leave the fandom now, but im not the same anymore. Listening to shinees or jjongs music is impossible, watching videos too. If you feel the same its fine. Just do whats right for you. Im just here feeling happy for the others and hoping that theyre feeling better slooowly each day a little. Just like i hope it to be for everyone else.

If you came till here. Thanks for caring. Please take care of yourself, you are very loved. Life is hard, but not impossible.

Stay strong.

[brotatochip]

Omfg tell me more about the kidnapping story

ALriGHty then FriEnd. Here we go. So I live in California generally by San Francisco, but this summer I flew to Montana (If you’re not from the US, it’s about 2000 miles away, right below Canada) by myself to spend 6 weeks with my extended family that I rarely get to see. So It was like August 1st or whatever, it was a tuesday. And let me clarify, Montana is like the 3rd biggest state or some shit but it is literally Cowboy™Hell™. Their capital city Helena (where we were might I add) only has a population of 31,169. Now, I cant speak for all of y’all reading this, but that is small as fuck. I’m not gonna tell you where I live, but the population of my SMALL city is 84,950. AND MY CITY IS TINY. Like binch get some people. Anyways,,, so I was staying with my cousin Mackenzie and we told her literal trash piece of a mom that we were going to stay the night at her friend Olivia’s house. So we went to Olivia’s and did our makeup and fucked around and decided we wanted to go out. So where do you go when you’re in  Cowboy™Hell™ with population of 31,169? Walmart. So at this point when we are done fucking around and gettin ready and shit, its like 10pm. No matter where you are in the world, all Walmarts are the same. e v e r y w h e r e. When you step into a Walmart you get that feeling and it’s what keeps the world together. So when we go to Walmart, we literally fuck around there for like an hour, and we get some Rockstar energy drinks bc what’s more suspicious than 3 teenagers,, one with bright ass dyed red hair (me,,),,, buying a bottle of chemicals to consume at 11pm,, :)) So let me clarify, there is a “city”-wide curfew from 11pm to 5:30am,, and my cousins terrible excuse of a mom doesnt know we are out. So we leave walmart and we just chill in Mackenzie’s (cousin) car deciding wtf we should do. And then we remember, we know someone with a cute ass dog. This dog is literally the cutest dog anyone has ever seen, not even exaggerating. She is like a 6 week old Australian shepherd mix and she looks like the physical embodiment of if Trump got impeached (the literal best thing in the world). So this chick who owns this dog let’s us come meet her so we can like pet sit the dog for the night. So obviously, we go get this dog,, i mean,,,,, who wouldn’t want to be with the cutest dog  e v e r. So we go get this dog and we were just chillin and talking to the girl for a while so now its like 12am. So now there’s just 3 suspicious looking teenagers with literally nothing to do in  Cowboy™Hell™. And now we have a dog. So let me tell you about Olivia real quick. She has been living off energy drinks for the last 3 years, she’s not the BIGGEST fan of the dog (for some reason..), and her life goal is to go take pictures on all of the statues in  Cowboy™Hell™ with a population of 31,169. And thats what we go to do. We drive downtown and take this cute ass puppy who is no bigger than a football and we start walking around downtown. Now,, as much as I love this dog, I said we probably shouldn’t take it because she can’t walk for that long,, but no,, Kenzie wanted to take her,, So we did. So we walk around with this cute ass dog downtown at like 1am with no one else there and no form of protection,, i know,,,,, smart. In Cowboy™Hell™, there’s a large statue of a propeller on top of a small hill in like the middle of downtown. So we all start walking up this hill so Olivia can achieve her life goal,, well the dog was getting tired or something because it kept like stopping on it’s way up. So Olivia and I went up the hill to the propeller while Kenzie stayed with the dog and tried to get it to come. About 2 minutes after we went up the hill,, Kenzie came running up to the top holding the dog and saying “dude there’s a guy coming up the hill”,, none of us actually thought this was fucking terrifying bc there’s just some random ass guy at 1am,,, but we are all antisocial fucks so obviously talking to him was what we were worried about. But just as Kenzie told us, we saw the guy which freaked tf out of her because she said he would have had to RUN,,,, to be that close to us that soon. So you know when you’re chasing your sibling and theres one of you on each side of the table or the couch or whatever? yeah,,,, that’s what we did with this guy,.. We attempted to ‘hide’ behind the propeller (it was literally the most pathetic thing i’ve ever done, we were all laughing and joking like “oh fucc he’s probably a murderer lmao” (as we needed to be fucking quiet) and as he walked by he said something but none of us know what he said. it was really short but idk. So he went into this tunnel that’s filled with graffiti that’s literally right behind the propeller statue and then we actually had some logic and were like o shit we should probably go,,,,,, so we all like ran down the other side of this hill,, and let me remind you,, we are still holding this goddamn dog,, that i said we shouldn’t take.. We were all laughing like omg we are gonna get raped lmfao (which we shouldnt joke about but some creepy ass dude just walked by us at 1:30 am like tf). So we were just chillin and then we notice, this guy started walking down the hill. Towards us. Now we are actually creeped the fuck out and we starting to think like oh shit is this guy actually following us,, so we start walking away, making sure to keep looking at him to see if hes still following us. Okay, sidenote; I currently have a balloon tied to my wrist (i found it while climbing statues earlier), I am holding a book that we also found, Olivia is holding the dog because the puppy can’t run with us, and Kenzie is holding a book and Olivia’s energy drink. It’s 1:30 am in the middle of  Cowboy™Hell™ population 31,169 and some guy is now following us. But we wanted to make sure he was following us, so we went around a building and he also went around us, confirming that he is indeed,, a complete psychopath. So we run around the building to the other side and we check to see if he’s still there. Also,, this  e n t i r e  time, we only ever saw him walk. He never ran. Which lowkey made it even MORE fucking terrifying. So me, having common sense, think O SHIT, THERE’S SOME RANDOM ASS GUY FOLLOWING US IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,, WE SHOULD PROBABLY CALL THE COPS,,,,, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,,,,,,,,, nah.. that idea was shut down immediately when Olivia brought up, the curfew. Hmmmmm,,,,, face parents or get raped/murdered????,,,,, obviously the latter. So now it’s probably 2am. At this point, we start to worry a bit, and by ‘worry a bit i mean start freaking the fuck out. Like, we could legitimately die depending on what this guy’s intentions were. Without Kenzie or I even noticing, Olivia picks up a rock in case she needs a weapon,,, like a rock would protect against a gun or knife or some shitt,,, but its okay. And while all of this is happening,,,,,,,,,, we are still holding this cute ass dog. So we decided we need to GO. But the guy is between us and the car. So we run across the street and hide in this little area in the trees. He sees us and starts walking down the MIDDLe of the street.  Creepy as FUCK. So we start running,, with my balloon, two books, an energy drink and a puppy. We ran to this old walking street thing that goes uphill, and they have a bunch of historical buildings or something. We can see the first building has like a back yard so we hop the stone fence and hide back there. I put my balloon on the doorknob to the building so that it wouldn’t fly away, and the guy couldn’t see where we were (ik,, smart af). We set the dog down and take a few moments to chill and breathe and think about what we are gonna do. This building is right on the street and right across from a park, so olivia tries to go look and see if the guy is still there, and she accidentally hit a huge metal thing which made the LOUDEST sound ever. So take a moment to ask yourself, what the fuck would you do if some creepy ass dude was following you at 2am in the middle of a “city” that you dont live in? Well shitt just die apparently. So we started talking and we were like fuck, we need to get the hell out of here, now. At this point, our car is like .7 miles away and we are all lazy ass motherfuckers who don’t run,, e v e r. But I guess it’s our only option. So we have to run this, while carrying two books, an energy drink, and a dog. You might ask you might ask yourself, why still carry the books and energy drink?? Are they really that important??? Yes. We sneak out onto the street to see if he’s even still there, and then we see this dicknugget stand up. He was sitting in the park, waiting for us. And then we started running. Now, running back to our car was a whole other adventure just by itself. We are running slightly downhill, which makes us go faster. We don’t even bother looking to see this guy because  nyoom nyoom gotta go fast – We start sprinting down this road,, and then we hear a car coming. It’s gotta be going like 60 mph down this goddamn road at 2am and they see 3 teenage girls sprinting. Just a normal day in  Cowboy™Hell™ apparently because if you see three people running as fast as they can down a road in the middle of the night, you might stop to see if they’re okay? nahhhh. guess nott. Not to mention, Olivia and I almost got ran over by this goddamn car because we are running in the middle of the street. Meanwhile, we still have 2 books, an energy drink, and a puppy (who at this point is probably traumatized just like the rest of us).. So we just keep running for what seemed like forever (it was probably like 2 minutes), and then,, I drop my book. And me,, being the dumbass that I am,,, i stop to pick it up. Don’t ask me why I risked my life to pick up a book that we randomly found,, a book that i dont need,, a book that later we found out to be erotica,, because i do. not. know. Ya know, I always had this mental picture that if, for some reason, I had to run for my life, my body would trade in my out-of-shape, asthma-stricken lungs for super-lungs from the adrenaline or something– BOI WAS I WRONG. My lungs felt like they were on fire. Like actually burning. So what do I do? I’m literally being chased by a murderer but I really dont wan’t to run.. Well fuck, guess i’ll just die. I start walking because FUCK IT, my out of shape ass needs to chill. Then Kenzie see’s that I am walking she was like THANK GOD i’m tired too. Meanwhile Olivia is way ahead of us, and she looks back to see us,,, and we are walking, and she was like “what the fuCk are you DoiNG ??”. So kenzie and I work up the strength to start running again; and then we see it,,, our car. We unlock the car and just sit. All of us out of breath, scared shitless, apparently Olivia still had her rock, and my first thought after this was all done? I want my balloon. While all these events were occurring, Kenzie was texting her friend what was happening. We went and picked up Kenzie’s friend and his friend who was staying with him. Now it’s like 3am. We almost just got murdered/raped/kidnapped/whatever, the cute ass dog is sleeping in the car, and now we have two guys with us. weLL HEy, I haVe A gREat iDeA; LET’s GO GET MY BALLOON. So we drove the car for another 20 minutes and went back to the same place we almost died; I know, smart. Just a quick reminder that Cowboy™Hell™’s “city”-wide curfew is 11pm… and its 3am,,,. So we park in the same exact spot we were parked 2 hours earlier when we were being stalked by some creepy motherfucker and we got out. We showed the guys what happened place by place, we got my balloon, and then we were just chillin on the street. We saw some car down the street driving towards us and Kenzie made some tdumbass joke like “lmao watch that be the sheriff”, Well GUESS WHO THE FUCK IT WAS??? YOU GuESseD rIGhT mY FrIENd. the sheriff. Quick reminder: curfew. If that sheriff stops, not only do we look fuckin suspicious af just chillin in the middle of downtown on a tuesday at 3am, they will call our parents. And we cant have that.. So what do you do when you’re in Cowboy™Hell™ and can’t get caught by the cops? Run. We all get off our asses and book it, and hide in some bushes for about 10 minutes until the coast was clear,, well we thot anyways,,,, we were walking down the street and he came around again and guess what? We all run for like 20 minutes back to our damn car and drive. BYE BITCH. None of our parents know we are out, so where tf do we go now? Can’t go home. My home is 2000 miles away. Well what perfect place to be in Cowboy™Hell™ then the CHURCH. We legitimately spent a good 3 hours in the church parking lot because where else we gonna go? back to Walmart? Probably,,, then its about 7am and we drove to some park. Welllllll,, since its Cowboy™Hell™ with a population of 31,169, EVERYONE FUCKING KNOWS EACH OTHER. My cousin’s neighbor came jogging by at 7 in the goddamn morning (who does that, get a life, sleep in, just stahp,,) and recognizes our car and guess what happens now? He calls our parents :))))))) Thanks for being a snitching ass little bitch,, because then my cousin’s mom drives up and says heyyyyyy, get your asses home :)) Well guess where we didn’t go? home. Guess where we went instead? Of all the places in Cowboy™Hell™ with a population of 31,169, we went to Walmart. 

[earthling-liya-blog]

little things we can do for the environment

a/n ok before anything GURL there are a lot of links tagged bc i didn’t rly expect this to be a long post and some will be further explained in a separate post ! maglilink naman aq pag nagawa na may edit button naman HAHAHAHA but ya this is a bit taglish but mostly english kase conyo tayo chz but yaaaaa

i would say disregard any grammatical errors or flaws but i like comments and criticisms. this isnt formal writing at all kase this was rushed kase naexcite ako,,,,, ayun ok i shld stop talking leTS GET DIS BREAD

nowadays, a lot of people have been inventing machines that help in saving the planet but the easiest and most simple thing that have a huge impact on our environment is following the 3R’s.

 REDUCE

here is a list of things on what you should reduce

1.      single-use plastic consumption

this is the most obvious material we should refrain from buying. i know it’s tempting but don’t buy that candy, or that water bottle. as they say:

 if you don’t buy crap from companies they’ll stop making crap.

 think about it, that candy you’ll buy comes with a plastic food packaging. that plastic’s purpose is to cover the candy from anything that can contaminate it, but once the candy is opened he plastic no longer has purpose and will be thrown away on the trash can. that piece of plastic was used once but will LAST FOR DECADES, and in those decades the plastic will go through a lot of.. things. y’know like…

other than plastic interrupting the food chain, we can literally kill all animals with the plastic bags choking them or filling up their stomachs with plastic. we’ve all seen the turtle with a straw stuck inside its nose.

truly heartbreaking. this video started a petition to ban straws, but please STRAWS ARE NOT THE ONLY PLASTIC PRODUCT HARMING MARINE LIFE.

 here are videos that prove so:

Plastic Ocean | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ju_2NuK5O-E

Plastic is killing marine wildlife | #OceanRescue | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhksqkC6WV0

See How It Feels to Be an Ocean Animal Stuck in a Plastic Bag | National Geographic |  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaDx-WJAsaE

 now you can say “I don’t litter so how am I harming these animals? I throw my trash properly.” but no, buying from companies that produce plastic makes YOU part of the problem. 

the plastic you throw away “properly” adds into the landfill. as i’ve mentioned before, plastic lasts for decades. if we don’t reduce our plastic consumption, we will soon have a mountain of plastics. less plastic u buy, less plastic is produced.

 next time you buy from the mall, don’t tempt yourself from buying beverages and/or foods that come with plastic food packaging. if possible, bring your own food containers and a reusable tote bag or don’t buy at all. quit saying “it’s just one time” a lot of people say that everyday and see what problem we’re facing now? overproduction and overconsumption of plastic asshole. say no to single-use plastic !

2.      printing

this one’s new to me and im sure most of you are as shocked as i am. i always thought it was only because we were wasting so much paper by printing documents and other things that don’t really mean anything (tama na pagprint ng pix ng kras niyo mga burnok), but we keep buying cartridges.

here’s a tip: use recycled paper and reuse toner cartridges. I got that here https://www.colorado.edu/ecenter/zero-waste/reduce/paper-and-printer-waste. it says here that it costs wayyy less money cause duh reusing and reducing??? lam mo na yan mag-isip ka chz

 3.      electronics/appliances anything that consumes electricity

this one. this is something that’s hard for many of us to reduce and i admit im one of those who have a hard time letting go of their phone and uses the light the whole night.

 PHONE: for iphone users like me (weird flex but ok), apple produces a new model every now and then and it makes a lot of apple users buy the newest model. don’t be like them no matter how much money u have that u want to flex (money cant help you survive when earth is dying sis) also, iphones don’t really last a looong time for many users since it’s kinda breakable and well it slows down after a while lmao

my tip is buy what you think will last for a long time (coming from me eh) for you and if you want, try buying secondhand phones. for phones you broke that you piled up in a box (yep i do that), you can replace some parts of it that broke it or give it to recycling centers. According to the University of Colorado Boulder, phones have metals that can still be “reused and salvaged such as aluminum, gold, silver, copper and iron.” NEVER THROW AWAY PHONES OR ANYTHING ALIKE ! “The circuit boards contain arsenic, lead, mercury, and other toxins. The batteries contain heavy metals that are lethal to the land. Many of the chemicals in cell phones have the potential to be released into the air when burned and can create air pollution.” (Second Wave Recycling, 2013) This means that the phone you’ll throw away will intoxicate the landfill. just think about insects flying around and possibly animals eating garbage 

4.      water

do i even have to explain myself? hm maybe.

shower with a partner shower together

jk but seriously, save water. take shorter showers and please refrain from using the heater. here’s an article to further elaborate https://slate.com/technology/2009/10/exactly-how-bad-should-i-feel-about-taking-hot-showers.html

5.      fast fashion

oh you have no idea how much shopping can affect the environment. i didn’t know before either. but not only is the environment affected but also who work for companies that sell fast fashion.

a.      people have been treating clothes as disposables. clothes that don’t fit the trend nowadays either get thrown away or just stay in the corner of a cabinet.

b.      theyre cheap. and by cheap, i mean CHEAP. most of fast fashion clothing don’t last long that they end up in the landfill. even if you donate/sell it, chances are they’ll be rejected due to poor quality.

c.      “. . most garments (especially fast fashion ones) are made with inexpensive, petroleum-based fibers that don’t easily decompose (such as polyester, nylon, and acrylic), they’re going to be taking up landfill space for decades to come.” (Wood, K.) As Cline points out;

“people generally recycle plastic bottles or avoid buying them in the first place, but people are pretty okay with buying lots of plastic clothing”

next time you think of buying from forever 21 or zara, think about it. they are simply made NOT to last. think about the exploited workers, the products you could’ve gotten for a cheaper price if they were made locally, and the effect on the environment. do you really want to support companies that only gives a fuck about their sales?

read more in these articles: 8 Reasons to Rethink Fast Fashion| https://www.lifehack.org/articles/money/8-reasons-rethink-fast-fashion.html

Fast Fashion Is the Second Dirtiest Industry in the World, Next to Big Oil | https://www.ecowatch.com/fast-fashion-is-the-second-dirtiest-industry-in-the-world-next-to-big--1882083445.html

6.      meat and dairy

as a meat-lover myself, this was the hardest thing to do. im basically a carnivore since i hate veggies but i do eat a lotta ass fruits so no need to judge sis. but yeah this is so important yet so hard.

if you can, only buy products that are vegan. it doesn’t necessarily have to be food if it’s too difficult for you to let go. you can also have a #meatlessmonday or not eat meat 1-2 days a week.

this post is long enough so here’s an article to help u: https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/may/31/avoiding-meat-and-dairy-is-single-biggest-way-to-reduce-your-impact-on-earth

7.      waste

all in all, reduce waste. avoid throwing away literally anything. aim for a zero waste lifestyle and i can give tips in my next post on how you can reduce waste.

 REUSE

this is soooo hard to do. trust me, i would know BUT it is doable by an average person so shut the f*ck up and use that ugly reusable water bottle your aunt gave you. i don’t care how rich you are and how you can afford a lot more, but what does it matter if they wont be used much and be thrown away when it gets old?

avoid throwing things away and think about how it can still be useful to you or someone else. not everything useless to you is useless to everyone. let someone else find purpose for it or repurpose it yourself.

donate, not discard. choose reusable, not disposable.

  RECYLE

1.      plastic

this is the most important thing we have to do now especially with plastic. now note that not all plastic can be recycled. it’s important to know what type of plastic can be recycled and what shouldn’t

 so as it states, 1&2 are recyclable which is what you would see on a water bottle. it means you should throw your plastic bottles in the recycling bin. here are things you should avoid and things you should recycle

BUT OK BEFORE YOU DO THROW THAT BOTTLE IN THE RECYCLING BIN JUST A QUICK NOTE

PLEASE REMOVE THE PLASTIC LABEL AND DO A QUICK RINSE ON THE BOTTLE! IT LITERALLY TAKES A FEW SECONDS OF YOUR TIME.

bottles that still have the label on are considered trash and are thrown away instead of being recycled. if u ask “why don’t they just take off the label? it takes a few seconds as u said” well dipshit they have more bottles to worry about so if i were you i wouldn’t be lazy piece of shit and take off the label.

bottles that contained sugar drinks should have a quick rinse & make sure there is no left over ! not rinsed = trash. do i have to go scientific and geeky as to why they should be rinsed? i think not lmao

for the plastic i find that can no longer be recycled (ex. shopping bags, food packaging, small pieces of plastic i see lying on the ground), i put them in an ecobrick which i will explain in my next post.

2.      paper

paper can also be recycled. collect all those newspapers, cardboard, cereal boxes, failed quiz papers, rejected thesis papers and notes from your ex-boyfriend. all of them. don’t throw them away, or worse burn them. papers can still be given another chance at life by being remade. all of the papers should not be mixed with any plastic or wax coating.

TRIVIA: Recycling one ton of old paper saves 17 trees; 2 barrels of oil (enough to run an average car for 1,260 miles); 4,100 kilowatts of energy (enough power for the average home for 6 months); 3.2 cubic yards of landfill space; 7,000 gallons of wate; and 60 pounds of air pollution. 

 3.      glass materials

products that are packed in glass glass jars and bottles like RC or your local nata de coco jar are recyclable as well although i’d prefer to reuse them.  

TRIVIA: Recycling one glass bottle saves enough electricity to light a 60-watt bulb for four hours. 

4. books

no. i don’t mean sell it to the junkshop but if u want to, go for it. although there are a lot of people who’d rather secondhand books than new ones so sell/donate your old books to those in need !

5. clothes

i’ve mentioned this before already but i’ll say it again. buy secondhand clothes. theyre not gross and you wont look like those typical katip pipol that all wear the same shoes and/or polo shirts charet. you’ll even help save the planet.

  *note: it is still better to reduce than recycle so still avoid buying plastic and lessen use of paper. but, you do gain money from selling paper and plastic so start collecting your friends’ and family’s junk.

by doing the 3R’s, you can save energy and natural resources and help prevent environmental issues coming from the landfill and pollution. not only are you helping save the environment but you’re also saving money by reducing your purchase, reusing what you already have and promoting recycling.

a/n ulet this is my first post and i’ll be sure to post more tips and help raise awareness. my writing may have flaws and i accept any criticisms to improve ! help me be better and to save the environment:)

 check out another article related to this one:

http://www.irondequoit.org/community/green-initatives/16-community/125-why-should-i-reduce-reuse-or-recycle

[ddaenggtan]

EVERYTHING DAMMIT BETTE ! I LOVE EVERYTHING YOU CREATE I WANT TO SCREAM. Ahem, hello again :)) I honestly cannot pick one piece, I love the stand alones, I LOVE the 666 and the monsters and gods masterlists, I love chasing butterflies, I loved my first interaction with you. The way you write it's just *chef kiss* 👌 and the way you talk, your tags also ugh. I don't have enough characters to tell you why 😭 and also I first followed you because of the gods Yoongi fic

dfkjsldkfjsdkjf anyone that ever mentions 666verse to me is always a shock bc it’s literally the biggest mess i’ve ever created, like i really just went “i wanna get railed by witch joon and incubus tae” while writing Forever Rain, wrote it, and my brain was like “hey what if you made it a whole universe ahahaha....just kidding.....unless?” and now i cant shut up about those fucking characters so. yeet ig. 

also persephone yoongles,,,,,,light of my life,,,,,,,,,the One True Love of my heart. he was honestly my favorite of all the characters in the MaG series, MCs included, but then i started writing tae’s and. well. y’all will eventually see lmao 

wAIT THE WAY I TALK??? MY TAGS?? IM 100% HEADASSERY LITERALLY ALWAYS WHY IS THAT ANYTHING POSITIVE??? i just ramble all the time i never shut up like???????? yall????????? dig that??????????????? what???????????????????????????????????

but yes uwu ty for sending this ilu how r u i hope ur doing well uwu

[economic-happiness]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i’m really fucking tired and sad and life is rough but it really isn’t?

i feel like i keep complaining about so many little, petty things and i should be grateful for what i have... but.. i cant stand being unhappy and doing things that don’t fulfill me.  i’m not the kind of person who can sit around wasting time on faking smiles and not being productive.  

i’m really tired of this cough that i’ve had since japan.  urgent care doctor didn’t approve a refill on the throat numbing medication so i vomited again today.  people keep telling me to stay home and rest whenever they see me coughing but if you were me, would you want to spend five fucking weeks in bed for no reason?  i cough just as much when i’m outside as i do when i’m lying in my bed so why not just go out and at least try to enjoy some time outside?  i just keep thinking back to those times when my friends got so sick they couldn’t leave their beds and i would buy them bread and gatorade and sit by their bedsides until they fell asleep to make sure they were resting enough.  and i’m the kind of person who does things for others because of the golden rule, and also because i just really really love my friends.  i’m sad because one of those people probably doesn’t give a flying shit about me anymore, nor do i think he ever did??? i don’t know why i wasted so much time on one person and now i feel so empty when i think about him.  *sigh*  ironically, the last two times he’s asked to grab dinner, i’ve been busy so.. that’s definitely different than me dropping everything before to go see him.  i dunno.  literally haven’t seen him in almost a month because of “work” even though i’m pretty sure he’s just lying to me lol welp

i’m actually pretty ready to move because i’m tired of dealing with this broken-ass apartment and shitty foreign repairment who are frankly, kind of rude

school’s so fucking easy now, but yet i have 1.5 quarters left and i have literally 0 idea about what i want to do post-grad anymore.  if i don’t get the job at blizzard i honestly might sink into a really deep depression and i don’t know what i’d do at that point. i feel like i’m wasting so much time at adp and no one has had the decency to even give me an actual fucking project to work on so i feel like i’m mentally wasting away every fucking time i make a pivot table in excel.  like... that’s NOT what you fucking hired me to do??? my mentor keeps trying to shove me off onto other teammates to get work but jesus fucking christ NO ONE HAS THEIR SHIT TOGETHER.  idk how they expect me to WANT to work here when i have had to sit in this horse shit for the last 7 months????  i really dread waking up at 4:30 am to just sit in my office and do NOTHING.  it’s not like i haven’t fucking tried to find work either.  i get thrown around like a hot potato to other people saying they have work for me and then they make excuses.  and the one person who actually wants me to work with him, gets shut down every time... i really don’t understand what’s going on there anymore??? i want to leave so bad but i’m having such a hard time finding a meaningful part-time job i’m wondering if maybe i should just take the L and do like food service or something IDK.  maybe my pride is getting in the way???

i literally just want to sleep all the fucking time.  i dunno.  maybe i’m getting depressed again?  i haven’t seen my therapist in almost 5 months so maybe it’s time to start going back.  even if i start with a new one we’re going to determine that my parents are the root of all my problems but then that’s going to dig another hole that i’m not interested in right now.  ever since coming back from vacation i keep feeling so much damn self loathing that i don’t know what to do with myself.  i feel like i keep offering help to people, helping them, and they’re able to succeed but no one will help me when i need it.  and then i feel left behind and not wanting to talk to people again. i dont know how to deal with this.  i want to see my friends succeed but it also always feels like i follow the golden rule and the people i’m kind to never return the favor.  i’m really tired of feeling negative about it esp bc i just want to see my friends happy and successful but yet i can’t even finish my own projects.. i feel like i don’t have anyone genuinely invested in seeing me succeed so i can’t even externally validate myself anymore.

i just want to sleep.  if i slept forever how long would it even take for someone to notice that i disappeared?

[survivorarabia]

FINALE “#PerceptionIsReality” - Richie

Ruthie

I had to change my vote to Emmott because he was all over the place, I adore him so much though and I hate that mine and Alex's plan got messed up because of my big mouth about Lena's idol, rip me. </3

Ruthie

I FELT THIS COMING.   I really hope Alex and Nicole win, I was so right about taking them to final 3.  PLEASE WIN YOU GUYS. <3 

Emmott

when you create enough paranoia and drama.... people play idols for you :-) THAT WAS THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD LITERALLY LIKE 10 MINUTES BEFORE TRIBAL LENA AND RICHIE ARE LIKE "come vote ruthie" and SO RUTHIE IS LITERALLY MY MUM AND I GENUINELY LOVE HER! she is the sweetest human being to ever graced the planet!!!!! lena and richie have promised me f3, and i am sticking to that LIKE SUPER GLUE! BUT if they break it, the will hear from my laywer!!!!!!!!! THIS IS CRAZY I CAN'T BELIEVE IM HERE. i think the jury hates me a lot, but i think i can swing enough votes at the end against lena and richie to maybeeee have a shot? omg im so shook i cant even explain it

Lena

Honestly I am at a loss for words right now... I cannot believe Richie, myself, and Emmott blindsided Ruthie. Alex had immunity otherwise it would have been him. But we have to make sure Alex doesn't win this next challenge... We have to. I was just talking to Ruthie and Nicole about a final 3 earlier today but then I realized, to get Alex.. we have to get Ruthie out too. I thought Nicole and Ruthie were extremely close but they apparently weren't.. I wish I had known that, because I could have just approached Nicole and saved my idol for next time. I have a chance at winning this game now as long as Alex is next to go.. I can't believe I beat my Palawan placement, though. I am in a total state of shock over this.

Emmott

HOW DID I END UP WORKING WITH LENA OMG WHAT A QUEEN I LOVE HER SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!!

Alex

This is so fucking ugly Lena, you can go and fuck yourself.

Richie

i did........ that http://68.media.tumblr.com/0cb56c37723d7349c4e2f9ee90ac112e/tumblr_of3p98IyeO1vzwwmeo2_250.gif it was like 30 minutes before the vote and ruthie said that she was on call with emmott earlier and something inside me just... light up... ruthie and alex were playing the jury so hard and i wasnt going to just sit there and let it happen.... so i went to lena and was destroyed alex and ruthie's game and just went for it i was like fuck it if this goes bad at least im making a move to try and better myself and i just told lena how ruthie was the glue bc of her relationship with nicole and her relationship with alex so if we went to final 5 with those 3 we would be fucked and i just kept emphasizing how crucial of a role ruthie has played in every relationship in this game and lena 15 minutes before the vote was in lena said "Hear me out, okay? I think we should vote for Ruthie...."  and i was like http://68.media.tumblr.com/f0127660609c51a34bdfa74033903285/tumblr_of3pd5e6Md1vzwwmeo7_250.gif so that was amazing but then lena followed that statement by saying  "I have a plan....... and an idol" and it was like the gates of heaven opened and i saw the light that this was actually going to happen i actually pulled this off and huge shout out to lena bc whew!!!!!!! this was super hard bc the family alliance was such a great thing personally and strategically and i loved every moment of working as a group but fuck it sucks that that was the move i felt had to be done..... now i have to deal with the clean up which is nahhhhhhhht gonna be pretty but whew it was exciting ;)

Nicole

WHEW. OKAY. THIS HAS BEEN A CRAZY ROUND AND I HAVEN'T MADE A CONFESSIONAL IN FOREVER SO HERE IT GOES. Ruthie was my #1 in this game, she is so sweet and honestly one of my favorite people in this community! BUT, she did have a really good game and I can see why people would want her out. Anyway, I don't know where I stand all I know is the immunity being Maverick Bird literally stressed me tf out and I'm glad it was changed to endurance 

Alex

http://img.ifcdn.com/images/c9f3d0124cac6fe0da52957cfff351bd749537fafbd3106156ed92780d73ea2d_1.jpg

Alex

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the passing of Ruthie Motta, who was tragically voted out exactly one (1) round before I was planning on doing it, how dare you Lena, you stole my kill So.  Uh.  Last night was a time.  Good news, flushed the idol!  Bad news, Ruthie died.  So, uh, that really sucks.  And it's mostly because I wasn't around so now I feel like I'm on the bottom all of a sudden. I feel like I had so much I wanted to say about this and now I don't have any of it any more.  It sucks.  This sucks.  Ruthie and I have been together this whole game, 32 days.  And now she's gone, and I...I don't know who to lean on, who I can talk to, who I can even trust at this point.  Does Richie want me out next?  Does Lena?  Is Nicole really still with me or is she about to drive a bus over me? The Family's dead, and without Immunity, I don't know how to pick up the pieces.  I don't know how to talk to Lena without wanting to shout at her.  I just...I don't know.  I'm adrift, and I'm not giving up, but it's...it's gonna be a new game now.  And every round from here on in.  I'm much less confident about making the end than I was before.

Alex

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen and variations thereupon, to Alex's last stand. I thought I would have had that Immunity, but obviously Lena and Richie wanted to make sure I didn't have it, and it worked.  Congrats to them. The only thing I can do now is throw myself on their mercy and point out what a jury threat Emmott is.  Do I believe it?  Not necessarily.  But I'm not wrong that he has a couple votes on lockdown, regardless of who else is there, in Issy and Aren.  The only thing I can do is sell that I just want to make 4, that Nicole and I aren't together, and that Emmott needs to go now. Will it work?  Maybe.  But Richie & Lena hold my life in their hands, and I hate that.  I hate not having any control at all.  In some ways it's my fault because I burned my bridges sufficiently with Emmott to the point that I'm not getting shit from him, but that's also on him too. I wish I had more to say here, but I don't.  It's not up to me anymore.  It's all on them.

Richie

its been like 2 days since the last tribal council where me and lena did THAT and i'm still not over how simultaneously iconic and heartbreaking of a move that was... ruthie is the epitome of genuine kindness and alex is someone i have enjoyed having a genuine connection with since day 1 so betraying them sucks but like also its a game and what i did and what me and lena pulled off.... whew!!!!!!!! i knew that alex was going to feel super betrayed and go HARD af in this immunity challenge and i am an endurance flop, i love sleep it's my #1 priority, but like i knew i wanted this win and my body hates me but i somehow pulled out a win so holy shit im going to final 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://68.media.tumblr.com/73479bdb2a4e827a39fa094ecc4d5759/tumblr_of3p41DFQy1vzwwmeo4_250.gif but let's be real yeah i'm happy and all but of course it wouldnt be a richie confessional without a Meltdown™so lets just jump right into the spiraling :D i dont know what to do.... lmao... how many times have i said that in this game? but literally i don't know what to do britney_spears_"shocking".jpg.... voting out alex is the obvious thing to do right now because me/lena/emmott just formed a final 3, alex is capable of winning immunity if he stays around, and from the start of this game everyone has pegged alex as this huge threat whos in control of this game and since #PerceptionIsReality if thats what people on the jury have been saying if he gets to the end that perception could hand him the win even if theres some bitter jurors who dont like him.... buuuuuuut if he leaves there goes my meat shield like if he's in final 4 NO ONE is going to take him to final 3 so its like a guaranteed all eyes on him as the target and i can slip right into the finale.. if he's gone these of 3 might look at me and think i'm a threat and im fucked because i cant deflect but if i keep him around as a meat shield and he wins final 4 immunity im fucked too so its like..... UGHHHh http://68.media.tumblr.com/8fc26ad4738d3292b68f2e6cf5195ec7/tumblr_of3ougvqUC1vzwwmeo5_250.gif

Alex

I gave it my best go.  It just wasn't enough.  They've shut off the side of themselves that would respond to my emotional pleas.  It's cold, but I understand. It's the right move for them, strategically.  I can't fault them there.  I just can't pretend it doesn't hurt. We had this.  No, fuck that.  I had this.  I was so close I could taste it.  I've never been that close.  But I made one mistake and it all spiraled. I don't regret how I played.  I can't.  I don't know what I could have done better. I'm tearing up now, sorry.  I'll get over it, I know.  Eventually.

Lena

I cannot believe everything has gone off without a hitch. Ruthie went. Alex went. I actually believe I have a chance at winning this game. Even if I don't, I want it to be Richie and Nicole sitting with me at the end and they both have played wonderful games. I'm at a loss for words right now, I cannot believe I made it this far.

Richie

http://68.media.tumblr.com/a1c42de3eca8896fdcf68bd083a2a0b8/tumblr_ogtaabu79Y1vzwwmeo8_r1_250.gif so i voted out alex at the last tribal council which killed me as a person bc i was still not over voting out ruthie and then to vote out the other person in the alliance that i loved being a part of…. that sucked!!!!!!!!!!!! but i did it because i knew that letting alex get to the end was handing the jury someone that they had been talking up all game and i couldnt do it…. and he told me that he would throw the f4 immunity challenge if i didnt vote him out he just didnt want emmott to get to the end and i said that he was too much of a game player to mean that and i voted him out because i thought that i could take out emmott at f4 bc he has votes locked in but here we are in the final 4 and emmott has immunity and im just………. im fucked and it sucks because it means that there’s a good chance i’m getting voted out and if somehow i magically mist my way into staying this week theres an equally good chance that i won’t win this game with emmott having friends on the jury so its like…. fuck dude im an end justifies the means type of person and i played hard and i fucked over everyone in this game and its very very likely that it was all for nothing http://68.media.tumblr.com/d70acd9f7d12febd8c49717661e19834/tumblr_ogtaabu79Y1vzwwmeo6_r1_250.gif   

Emmott

I FUCKING MADE IT TOO FTC AND I WON AN IMMUNITY CHALLENGE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL IT TOOK WAS A NEW IDENTITY AND 4 SEASONS TO GET THERE THIS B*STON R*B TEAS AAAHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!! honestly this is the worst game i've ever played and i honestly don't think i'd have a shot at winning if i was up against another 4 people winning is such an amazing concept tho and my game is trash so i guess the rule is you don't put a bumper sticker on a bently sooooo i will probs lose BUT I THINK I HAVE A SHOT BECAUSE THESE 3 ARE ... ????!!! NOT great??!! nicole was a goat lena peaked really late and was innactive af. all she did was play the idol on me which could have been her stupidest move idk?????? richie i am worried tho. he was a kinda goat this entire game and people might vote for him if they were REALLLYYY SALTY AT ME and i have a feeling fawz might hate me i think i have ruthie, issy and aren's vote but the rest i'd really have to give it a shot and put myself out there. when alex left he said "the last time i vote for you. and that's a promise" lIKE DOES THAT MEAN HE WONT VOTE FOR ME AT FTC ??????? IM CONFUSED i think i can maybe get ci'eres vote or jay's IDK im realy fucking stressed coz i wanna win so bad but i think people are gonna be salty coz i flipped on that fawz bullshit but like ???????? its there own fucking faults! if they added me to their alliance  and ACTUALLY TRIED making an effort with me it might be different??? people management GOALS <3 <3 <3 <3 but then i can't say that in my Q&A with the jurors coz  I NEED THEM TO LIKE ME so i might try it in a real passive aggresive way coz like its there fault i flipped so dont be fuckwits to me i just really hope people are forgiving, COZ I THINK I HAVE A SHOT!!!

this is also the worst possible final 4 to go with because they're all almost always OFFLINE !!!!! 

https://67.media.tumblr.com/7c7f38cafbd329aeae09819c0b49f9e6/tumblr_o42c0mpv2F1uakpa5o1_400.gif https://media.giphy.com/media/HqtbJDp8FEivC/giphy.gif https://67.media.tumblr.com/69e723e7fe1a69cb63ba639039d34e63/tumblr_n0abginEZW1se8ddwo1_500.gif

Richie

i’m either literally voting myself out of the game tonight or making a move that will guarantee me a spot in the f3 and there’s no way of knowing which it’s going to be until the votes are read so http://68.media.tumblr.com/e23df711439b4fc6670037aadf007dea/tumblr_ogtaabu79Y1vzwwmeo5_r1_250.gif i’m really mad at nicole bc she’s in a great position right now and i’m not and i dont like when other people do well.. like ya i like her and good for her being in a powerful position in this game but its rude and i hate it because i want to be that person so its ugly!!!!! nicole came to me and told me that she went to lena saying to vote me out and i was like interesting….. because if lena wasn’t going to go along with that plan she would have come to me and ratted nicole out to ensure that i vote out nicole so i was like hmmm okay…. so the plan right now that i’m taking a gamble on is that emmott votes nicole, lena votes me, i vote lena, and nicole is the deciding force on who goes home and i hate it like all of this could be a lie from nicole to pit me and lena against each other so that we vote for the other one and she stays safe and gets to choose who she goes to the end with, frankly its genius and if this were a different situation i would this theory to lena and turn her against nicole so we would vote out nicole 3-1 however i feel like i have a better shot at getting more votes sitting next to nicole than i do sitting next to lena so its like i could come in 4th from trying and failing the 2-1-1 plan or come in 3rd by voting out nicole 3-1 so i’m hoping if the 2-1-1 plan succeeds and nicole doesnt vote me out i have a shot at trying to secure some votes in the jury and thats all i want…… THIS IS LITERALLY KILLING ME I HATE THIS SO MUCH!!! pretty much this entire game up until 24 hours ago i havent been in a position where i truly felt like i was even remotely in danger of being voted out and now that i’m here staring at my own mortality it……..isn’t fun? i’m hopeful that i’m staying tonight i’ve been working on nicole telling her how much i want to go to the end with her and also telling her i was going to vote for lena in the end (oops lmao) but im a realistic person so i’m not expecting to stay so if i leave tonight and become the final juror to my fellow players sorry i backstabbed and lied to yall for no reason lmao and to the 2 people cheering me on in the vl im sorry to have failed you http://68.media.tumblr.com/5a88f6553fb76a93d3627ae16a5fc278/tumblr_ogtaabu79Y1vzwwmeo7_r1_250.gif && with that… richie OUT! (?????????)

Richie

A MOTHERFUCKIIIINGGGGG TIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I caaaaaaaaan't go on like this FUCK I want to make it to final 3 so bad but this tie breaker is literally made for Lena to win I'm a literal ball of anxiety that cracks under pressure and she's a fucking speed typer who has found an idol from getting a clue and going to a page so like... I'm doomed but I'm trying to remain positive and not go in with a defeated mindset because then I'll definitely lose but fuck Ive tried so hard and got so far and in the end it doesn't even matter bc I can see my game ending because of emmott and being stupid and a slow typer and I HATE IT UGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH http://68.media.tumblr.com/3fd3702c9cdf15d2ac464436c8be0dbb/tumblr_oelryngZFq1vzwwmeo4_250.gif whewwwww okay positive thoughts :) I am going to kick ass in this tie breaker, I want to win, I want to win this game bc if i dont then I singlehandedly destroyed my alliance that I loved and made it so we all lost but if I win that means that I'm a cutthroat strategist that did what I had to do to win so that's what I'm going to do :) :) :) :) :) :)   ...........fucK

Emmott

nicole is literally so irrelevant and she thinks she's made it to the end because she got game. she is literally the worlds biggest GOAT AHAHAHAH omg what a hoe im sick of her. anyone would have taken her shes dead weight! she's made zero impact on this game like she can't even get an idol play right !!!!! don't come for me nicole because you have nothing to support yourself fuck off i hate this game and coz of that hoe im probs gonna lose and i get this is completely emotional and i shouldn't be fighting her in the tribe chat but i hate when unintellegent, dumb, naive, idiotic people act like they smart and got nerve. its my pet peeve. hate dumb people wow. have fun coming SECOND AGAIN HAAHAHAHAHAH

Emmott

LIKE I HATE THE SNARKINESS OF THESE IDIOTS that send memes and instigate fights and are sarcastic and ridiculous like they reckon they're all big online because they can send a shady meme WOW hope those shady memes get you thru life hun <3

Emmott

RICHIE FUCKING WON THE TIE I WANT TO DIE

Emmott

this final 3 is a mess....

Emmott

now im a fucking richole thirdwheel get me outta here

Richie 

FUUUUUUCK!!!! AHHHH!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I JUST WON THE TIE BREAKER AND IM IN THE FINAL THREEE?!?!?! THAT WAS SO STRESSFUL FUCKKKK!!!!! http://68.media.tumblr.com/72c85b4a2d82c49580e83a8a74ce83a1/tumblr_of3p41DFQy1vzwwmeo6_250.gif I hate everything I'm so overwhelmed i was bored and stressed out so I facilitated?? drama between Nicole and emmott in the main chat while I waited for Lena to come back so that was the most fun I've had in this game in a while lmao but somehow not as exciting as winning the tie breaker!!!! i  dont know why Nicole kept me because I was passionately trying to vote her out from like f8-f6 but okay cool im happy I didn't WHEW I can't believe this.... Now all that's left is the jury which scares me because I played a weird game like for a while it was intentionally UTR and trying to seem weak to the point where people may think I wasn't playing which could cost me but also looking back I played the middle and literally lied, back stabbed, and voted out every single person on the jury and I had a good social game but that could just make people feel more betrayed rather than being good jury management so I'm nervous and i dont know what approach to take with my speech should I be the unapologetic bitch or should I try to pretend to be likable lmao FUCK I love this game and hate everything about it at the same time it's truly wild richieWHEWWWWWWW these jury questions? fUCK... i wrote a long as jury opening bc hello youve seen my confessionals im obsessed with myself and cant stop talking and apparently that pissed people off bc of their own egos and i get that but also fuck you?????? like alex saying that i took credit for things i dont deserve when firstable BITCH a direct quote from my speech is "I felt grateful to be part of an alliance that worked so well together and functioned off of genuine teamwork I don’t want to take full credit bc it was truly a team effort for a good chunk of this game" and in how many of my confessionals did i talk about how much i loved being in the family and how its literally a team effort? i never once in this game genuinely took sole credit for anything HOWEVER... I'M the one thats here and i'm going to talk up my fucking game to get people to see that i played hard, yes i didnt make some of the moves alone but did i not still make those moves? the family is not trying to win this game I am so thats what i'm going to talk about me..... like i'm literally so annoyed i'm probably going to lose this game because going to come off as such a bitch in my answers but im pissed ofat alex and lena trying to bring me down just because of their own egos like yeah alex made moves and i didnt do the fucking ruthie vote alone but it happened because of ME, it wouldnt have happened without lena but it happened BECAUSE of me so i have those 2 saying that move isnt mine and then julia saying i was alex's sheep??? like fuck you?????? if i was alex's sheep he would be here still and he's not here because its called being in an alliance and working WITH someone and using their threat status as a shield and then cutting them so that youre the one thats at the end like literally i'm so annoyed i want to fight them ALLLLLLLLL... except ciere bc his question was actually really nice and it was the first time i felt validated and im emotional... like alex had 9 minutes of a video dedicated to dragging me and discrediting my game like F U C K  Y O U ! !! ! ! !! ! ! ! !! ! (dear future players, i dont mean this personally but if you get a chance to vent so do i <3) UGHHHH I CANT BELIEVEEEEE i have to keep replaying this 9 minute video of me being dragged to filth which is 94% bullshit, yeah i may have talked myself up a little bit but its the fucking jury speech and im trying to win what the fuck do you want me to do be humble???? no! like if i went back in time and told 13 year old me that 10 years in the future i'd be broke, single, no job, living with my parents, and mentally ill i'd believe it because that part of my reality is realistic... if i went back in time and told 13 year old me that 10 years in the future that i was playing in an online version of the show survivor, yes that show that you watched like 5 years ago is somehow still on, in a CHAT ROOM with STRANGERS and in order to try and get these strangers to give you the NONEXISTENT prize you must watch a 9 minute video of someone from OHIO talk shit about you because of things you strategically said and did, 13 year old me would probably assassinate bill gates to make sure the internet DIED and that reality couldnt exist bceause FUCK!!!!!!!!! emI Deserved To Win: A New Musical ~ Coming Soon richiehttp://68.media.tumblr.com/f60a84f5748d15f8a1625f64c461082e/tumblr_of3p41DFQy1vzwwmeo7_250.gif http://68.media.tumblr.com/72c85b4a2d82c49580e83a8a74ce83a1/tumblr_of3p41DFQy1vzwwmeo6_250.gif http://68.media.tumblr.com/73479bdb2a4e827a39fa094ecc4d5759/tumblr_of3p41DFQy1vzwwmeo4_250.gif