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Songbirds in the City Air (i'm not gonna make it)

The Low Life

It's been ten years since her dadsy died, and Li Na (and her step-family) are invited to the New Year's Festival at the palace.

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Ao3 Link

Years beat against Li Na like ocean waves against the shore until she could barely imagine a life where she wasn’t a slave for her own family, her baba practically unable to offer more than a pitiful smile before looking away with shame.

Ten years.

Ten years since her dadsy came down with that awful sickness that claimed him. Ten years since her baba thought marrying Lady Jenai would solve all of their problems. Ten years since MK went out in search of destiny. Ten years since her step-sisters betrayed her. Ten years since Lady Jenai first struck her. Ten years of living in a luxurious estate but being confined to the darkest and coldest rooms.Ten years since swatching became a regular part of her schedule.

Ten years.

Li Na was tired. Her fingers ached constantly with the embroidery work she was often tasked with, as well as the constant scrubbing– and that wasn’t even mentioning her back, which often felt like it could just snap in two despite being at the ripe age of 19. Of course, the frequent flogging didn't help much either.

At least she wasn't entirely alone, the once scrawny kitten Mo now a chubby feline. He was her one companion in all of this, and while he wasn’t large by any means, he’d keep her chest warm in the winter and catch bugs in the spring. He was her only friend, since MK stopped writing roughly five years ago. Not that Li Na blamed him, he had his own life, with his own friends and mentors now– no need for a sister whose life is as dull and drab as hers. He was much better off.

It was true, barely anything of importance happened to her in the span of ten years. While it started with just a month, her punishment only got longer and longer and longer and soon it was practically all she had ever known. She tried, of course, to hold the memories of her dadsy and of their farm close. She continuously told Mo and the other maids stories while she embroidered, but as time passed so too did her stories until only a handful were left.

That's just how things went, though. One moment here, the next lost to time or fate or disease.

…Sometimes though, when nobody else was around, and the house was quiet and still, Li Na would pretend otherwise. No, she would find a grand chair or seat and curl up against it, imagining her dadsy was there, stroking her hair and humming softly. Sometimes she'd lay there for hours, other times mere minutes. It was foolish, she knew that, but sometimes it was the only thing that could keep her going.

It was another uneventful day like this, one where Li Na was breaking her back scrubbing the floors of the main entrance when there was a knock at the door, and Li Na, being the only one around, begrudgingly got up and answered.

To her surprise, it was a messenger from the royal palace, a large insignia on his chest and on the front of the letter he held.

“Notice from the Emperor himself, in regards to the upcoming New Years Ball. By royal decree, he is inviting all women of the kingdom–noble and poor, human and demon alike– to this upcoming New Year's Festival in hopes that Princess Xiuying may find a suitable bride.” The messenger bowed before handing over the letter.

Li Na blinked. “I– thank you sir, but– I'm sorry, did you say poor and noble?”

“I assure you, Miss, this direct message comes straight from the top.” The messenger stood straight.

“Wow, I– I didn't know he was so… forward,” Li Na laughed a little.

“You'd be surprised what happens outside the walls of servitude,” he said before bowing. “Now if you'll excuse me, I've the same message to give hundreds of times more.”

“Of course– thank you!” Li Na remembered to bow before he went out through the gate.

Shortly after, Li Na traced over the royal wax seal with her fingers, trying to understand just why on earth the Emperor would truly extend an invitation like that– and if she could even muster the courage to accept it.

But first, she had to deliver the letter straight to Lady Jenai, or else risk another flogging.

She quickly made her way to Lady Jenai's study, giving Mo's head a quick pat right before taking a deep breath, and knocking three times before her stepmother gave a dry, “Come in.”

“Letter from the palace, my lady.” Li Na bowed and kept her eyes low, as she was taught. However, she'd recognize the overwhelming scent of her step-sisters’ perfumes anywhere.

“Give it to him.” Lady Jenai waved off, gesturing to her right, where–

“B-Bab– Lord Tang,” Li Na quickly corrected, avoiding his eyes at all costs, already feeling Lady Jenai's dagger-like stare on her neck.

She wanted to cry when his fingers grazed hers, but forced herself to step away.

Her baba broke the wax seal silently, giving the letter a quick look-over before glancing her way.

Lady Jenai raised an eyebrow. “About the New Years Ball, I presume?”

Tang nodded. “I-It says all women of the kingdom, rich and poor, human and demons, are invited for the chance to obtain the hand of the Crown Princess.”

“What?! Let me see that!” Peili leapt off her cushion and snatched it from his hands.

“What happened to the Crown Prince?” Sujia asked, giving the invite a look over too.

Lady Jenai waved her hand. “The prince has been cross dressing for years, it is our duty to indulge him if he so chooses to go by more feminine titles.”

Peili snickered. “Things really must be going downhill at the palace. First demons, then crossdressing? They're losing the gods’ favor, if you ask me.”

Li Na clenched her fists, trying desperately to suppress a growl rising rapidly in her throat, while her baba shifted uncomfortably.

“W-well I think–” he glanced at Lady Jenai. “I… I think I must be going, I've got work to do.” He bowed to his wife.

Lady Jenai dismissed him with a hum, taking the invitation from her daughters. “Says here that the main celebration will be in five days, the Princess making her appearances for the first night and then announcing her bride by the Lantern Festival.”

Peili chuckled. “It would take fifteen days to get some common girl to look good enough to be a consort.”

“Wait, did you say five days?” Sujia asked, going over her mother's shoulder to read it again. “How am I supposed to have a new dress in three days?”

Lady Jenai rolled her eyes. “Worry not, my sweet, it will be done, whether our little maid likes it or not.” She gave Li Na a sharp look.

Three days? For a whole new– scratch that– two new dresses??? Lady Jenai had to be insane.

“My Lady, with all due respect–”

“Every march begins with a single step,” Lady Jenai attempted to brush her off.

Li Na lowered her eyes. “True, my lady, but–”

“You wish to go to the festival too, don't you?”

Li Na stepped back. “I– I don't kn–”

“Do your chores, and finish the dresses, and you can.” Lady Jenai looked her dead in the eye while her stepsisters sputtered in protest.

“M-my Lady, I– I don't know what to say–”

“Don't make me regret it. Just do as you're told.” She dismissed Li Na with a wave, and she wisely obeyed.

However, the moment she was out of the room, her head began to spin because– well, because things like this didn't just happen to her. Lady Jenai never wanted her out of the house, especially in proximity to the rest of the family, so why the change of heart? It couldn't be because the Princess was a demon, and that she was finally starting to see them as equals, right..?

Then again, even if Li Na really did want to go, she has an impossible task ahead of her, plus nothing to wear for herself. She'd be the laughing stock of the palace, or perhaps mistaken for a servant. Then again, they wouldn't be wrong.

But at least if she went, she'd have a night off.

The girl sighed. Whether she wanted to go or not, she had work to do, so she got back to scrubbing the elegant wood floor.

It was midday by the time she was done, but before she could go break for a small meal, she found a pile of new ruquns and scarves laid out for her– as well as sketches for the designs.

Li Na gave a heavy sigh, setting the bucket and sponge down. “‘Every long march begins with a single step,’ eh?” she quoted bitterly as she sat down. Oh well, at least the sooner she starts, the sooner this festival mess is all over with (and as a bonus, maybe one of her step-sisters will finally leave the house for good).

With a tired carefulness, she got out her box of expensive threads and iron needles, as well as the very ornate frame. She traced over the well-worn carvings of Lotus flowers, remembering her baba's old prayers to Guanyin and the like for guidance and protection. An ache rose in her chest as she laid the fabric all out and pinned it down, but after threading the needle, she was able to push it all away and focus on her work.

Thread by thread, Li Na created an outline of flower after flower, leaf after leaf, and fish after fish, all with the kind of ease only seen by years of practice. Of course, she still had the occasional prick and perhaps even a smidge of blood drawn, but she was completely numb to the world like this. Even if Mo came in and rubbed her leg, Li Na would continue to work, her mind a total void. Sure, it was work, and sure, it would be practically impossible to get it done in five days, but her mind was a complete and calm void as she stitched over and over and over and over again.

However, Li Na was instantly snapped out of her trance when she heard the wooden door shuffle open, her blood running completely still when–

“L-Li Na.”

Li Na set her needle down, not daring to look back over her shoulder at her baba. “Yes, my– my lord?”

“Li Na, please, you– you don't have to talk like that to me, please,” he begged, stepping further in.

Li Na clenched her eyes shut.

He was like this, sometimes. Random bursts of bravery. It never ended well.

“Li Na, I– I don't have much time, but– but I wanted to give you something– for the festival,” her baba stepped forward.

Li Na went back to sewing. “Baba, you know I can't–”

“I want you to,” he insisted. “I– I want so many things for you– but especially this.” He set a worn box next to her.

Li Na eyed it. “What is it?”

“It– it was your father’s– his–”

“What is it doing here?” The blood drained from Li Na's face. “Lady Jenai–”

“–doesn't know,” Tang quickly interrupted. “A-and she won't, she won't, I swear, it's–” his hand hovered over her shoulder for a moment, before pulling back. “It's yours. You deserve it.”

“...I can't. I can't keep it safe.” Li Na shook her head.

“It's yours either way.” She heard him turn back to the door. It seemed like he was going to or was at least trying to say more, but he just stood there. Then again, she should probably say something more too, but she just sat there. Maybe they were both cowards.

She was his daughter. He brought her a gift– a dress from her dadsy– he'd barely been mentioned at all in the past ten years– the least she could say was ‘thank you’.

“I– I have to go now… goodbye.” He hesitated, but ultimately left, as was expected.

Li Na stayed frozen as tears stung her eyes. She was a terrible daughter, deeply ungrateful. It was no wonder why her baba could barely look at her.

Something warm and soft brushed against her ankle– Mo. She gave her kitty a good scratch on the head before attempting to get back to work. Mo, however, had other plans, meowing incessantly and rubbing even harder against her.

“Mo, please, I need to get this done or else she'll probably have my head.” Li Na tried to push him aside with her foot.

Her cat, however, disobeyed, jumping onto the table and forcing his way under her arms.

Li Na rolled her eyes, setting her needle down and giving him a good scratch behind the ears. “I guess a small break never hurt anyone… but still, I need to get this done.”

Mo meowed again, rubbing his head against her hand before jumping down right next to the box– where his tail started flickering curiously.

Li Na's shoulders tensed. “It's from Baba– says it belonged to– to my dadsy…” She looked away.

Mo meowed again, sniffing around and bumping the lid with his nose.

“Mo, stop. Leave it alone,” Li Na urged, going to pick him up when he knocked the lid off and revealed a teal and red dress–

His wedding dress.

Immediately, the pig demon dropped her things and knelt on the floor, picking up the fallen lid with trembling fingers as she could only stare at the fabric.

The silk was a dull shade of teal, the thread clearly worn and nowhere near as rich and vibrant as the ones she worked with. Still, intricate patterns were made with love and care, images of clouds and pear blossoms sewn all throughout. The fabric itself, while dull, was still more expensive than anything she had ever seen her dadsy wear in his entire life.

Mo's pitiful meow snapped her out of her trance, his rubbing against her arm.

“S-sorry, Mo, I just…” She let her fingers graze the fabric, and tears quickly stung her eyes. Still, she took a quivering hand and picked up the ruqun.

There was a sauce stain on the upper right side where a noodle must've escaped his grasp. When she brought it close, it still smelled like his famous noodle soup recipe.

Li Na hugged the fabric tight, taking in deep breaths as tears streamed down her face.

“Thank you, Baba, thank you,” she cried, nuzzling it deep.

She could feel it– her dadsy stroking her hair and humming softly like when she was a girl. It was as if he had been cooking, but heard her crying, and dropped everything to wrap her in his arms. She could even hear him humming an old lullaby too, his voice soft and low. For a moment, just a brief moment, she finally felt safe. At home. Loved.

“Safe,” she whispered. “I– I need to keep this safe.”

Li Na wiped her face with her sleeve before putting the ruqun back in its box.

Safe? Where was ‘safe’? Lady Jenai knew every inch of her property like the back of her hand– you couldn't even get away with moving a vase a millimeter without a slap on the wrist.

Mo meowed loudly from where he stood on a pile scrapped fabric, playing with some of the frayed edges with his paws.

“Mo, that's–” Li Na paused. There was a good amount of scrapped pieces in reserve, since they were the only thing Lady Jenai allowed for uniform repairs. She was too stingy for anything else.

That being the case, Lady Jenai very rarely came in here, and certainly never riffled through the servants’ scraps when she did. It could be worth a shot.

And so, she scooped up her cat, giving a grateful kiss on the forehead before clearing out a space for the box, and then piling the left-overs on top. It left a reasonable bump, but was otherwise completely buried.

“Oh Mo, you're a genius.” She gave her cat loving scratches while he purred happily. “I just– I can't believe it. I– I could actually go to the ball.”

Mo meowed in agreement.

Li Na looked away. “I don't know the first thing about high society, or beauty, or class though… if I went, I'd be so lost in all the noise.”

Her cat purred, nudging his head against her chest as he sat in her lap.

She chuckled. “I know, it would probably be nice to eat some decent food and meet new people… especially that messenger, if I can find him– but still. I won't belong.”

Mo looked up and blinked at her slowly.

“You’re right, I say that as if I somehow belong here either,” Li Na snorted, giving him another good pet.

“...My dadsy would probably want me to go too, wouldn't he..?” She looked back to the pile for scraps.

She could imagine it, her dadsy on his deathbed, holding her baba's hand, asking for his dress to be given to her someday, when the time is right. He loved her like that.

“...well… if I want to go, I've got work to do, Mo-Mo.” She picked him up so she could return to her seat– where her companion quickly jumped back in her lap.

The servant girl laughed, kissing the cat's tiny forehead. “Buckle in, Mo. It's gonna be a long couple of days… but this time, it will be worth it.” Li Na smiled, picking up her needle and getting to work.

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