#i literally don't think about thomas's sexuality that much

[heartofstanding]

I once saw someone talking about Thomas of Lancaster being bi and for a brief moment I was like "...yeah I'll incorporate that into my worldview" and then I realised they were talking about the Thomas of Lancaster who was the Earl of Lancaster who was executed by Edward II and who Thomas was probably named after.

[sylveon-and-velveon]

@fandomhungryuwu You son of a bitch I'm in! I love that song so much XD

Playing "Here Comes the Hurricane Bitch" around the slashers

This will include: Michael Myers {OG & RZ}, Brahms Heelshire, Jason Voorhees, Billy Lenz, Freddy Krueger, Stu Macher, Billy Loomis, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, Harry Warden, Tiffany Valentine

Feel free to request any shitpost writing prompt ideas you can think of in my asks, I love silly non-serious ideas XD

OG Michael Myers

Silently judging you

Also probably just hearing a bunch of random noises instead of the absolute banger that is this short song

Yeah my headcannon still stands on this man being a Kate Bush fan. That man would would fucking listen to her songs while killing people

Slowest middle finger you've seen someone give you while "HERE COMES THE HURRICANE BITCH" is blasting out of the speakers

RZ Michael Myers

Confused would be an understatement for him

But he'd mainly be annoyed by the loud noise blasting from the device you're playing it from

Reminds him of the shitty people from his past :<

Just turn down the music enough for you both to vibe to while eating some yummy food :D

Brahms Heelshire

Bro hears "hurricane" and one of two things happen:

1: He thinks a hurricane is nearby.

2: He's confused as fuck on what a hurricane is

Secret third option is BOTH-

Please reassure this poor man that it's just a song, until he either understands or stops freaking out TvT

Homie only knows the sound of pianos

Jason Voorhees

Nothing sexual? Damn he's fine with it, just a little uncomfy with the continuous "bitch"

Other than that he's happy to watch you enjoy the music, even if you're going full gremlin mode throughout it all

If you're happy, he's okay with it

Just don't start blasting NSFW music in his vicinity-

Billy Lenz

Wanna see a gremlin be a gremlin with you? Billy's got ya back!

Whether he understands the song or not, he will be a gremlin with you the second he sees you are now a gremlin to the music.

You are now one with his gremlin kind, you can't run now

I dunno what that means either, but it makes sense XD

Freddy Kreuger

Pure chaos, that's the song. Of course he'll love it

But the second he finds out there was indeed a hurricane called "Katrina"? Ohohoho.... ya fucking lost him

What, is he dying of laughter? Dunno, but ya lost him XD

Oh he'd totally copy how "bitch" is said in the song as an inside joke between you two

Stu Macher and Billy Loomis

Oddly enough I think they'd be their own type of gremlins to the music

Billy's killing someone to the beat of the chaotic music that's somehow a vibe

Stu's just going fucking feral to the music, enjoying his heart out

You're either watching the chaos unfold or joining in with one of them

No inbetween-

Thomas Hewitt

Oh look another judger-

Probably not judging as much as the others

If the music makes you happy, he doesn't mind

But that ain't stopping him from being confused at your taste in music being in his mind "loud and obnoxious"

Bubba Sawyer

The most confused out of all of them, change my mind

Doubt anyone's told him what a tornado is, let alone a hurricane

Also I highly doubt he's seen either in action, that be on TV or not

He'll probably vibe with you, but just a little confused on everything about the music lol

Harry Warden

My point still stands, I need GIFs of this man-

But with the music? Most traumatized

You've somehow unlocked some kind of PTSD that motherfucker had in the back of his mind

Totally not helping when you're blasting the music that literally says:

"HERE COMES THE HURRICANE BITCH-"

Tiffany Valentine

All here for it

Oh she's slaying the music with all her outfits

Probably would join in with you dancing to the music, but would take it a little more seriously lol

Is my love for her fabulous outfit choices too obvious?

[missmagooglie]

Prefacing this by saying this is not what I EXPECT to happen in 7x09 and 7x10, it's just one specific scenario that I feel particularly feral about right now... so with that said, I'm gonna throw out a dream scenario for the end of S7:

Tommy and Buck are dating and it's going well. Buck is just sort of blossoming in his new identity as a queer man. There's a self-confidence and assuredness to him that we haven't seen before

Meanwhile, Eddie has broken things off with Marisol and is quietly going through his own reevaluation of his sexuality. His awareness of his queerness happens pretty simultaneously with his realization that the way he loves Buck isn't entirely platonic, but he keeps it to himself because Buck is happy with Tommy

Episode 9 finds Eddie and Buck together off duty. Maybe they're having an argument. Maybe on the surface they're arguing about something small but somehow it feels much bigger

Mid-argument some emergency strikes. Buck and Eddie are trapped together and it's BAD. They're both in mortal peril, but it's worse for Eddie. Eddie hopes help will arrive in time to save Buck, but he's pretty sure he won't be alive to see it

(And I just want to stress - I feel like it's essential that they are off duty when this happens. They are in sync on the job, it's how they fit together outside of the job they're still figuring out)

So Eddie gets Buck's attention - because Buck hasn't given up yet. He won't. He CAN'T. He's frantically searching for solutions as Eddie repeats his name in a weakened voice, until finally he cracks and says, "Evan, please. I need you to hear this."

And in the final seconds of episode nine, Eddie Diaz looks Evan Buckley dead in the eye and tells him, "I love you"

Episode ten opens on an unrelated disaster, just to keep us gnashing our teeth a little longer

Maybe we throw some flashbacks in there for good measure

Check in on the rest of the firefam frantically trying to coordinate a rescue effort

But FINALLY they cut back to Buck and Eddie in mortal danger and replay the last few moments of episode 9. And believing these are the last words he'll ever say, Eddie tells Buck how much he loves him. He says he's sorry he realized it too late, but he could never, never regret loving him

Somehow there's a callback reference to Mitchell and Thomas, and the way Buck looked at their clasped hands as they died, and Buck realizing that dying together was never the point of their story. Living together was

And Buck is full sobbing and begging him not to give up yet because Christopher needs him and the team needs him and finally saying "and I need you, Eddie. You can't leave me. You can't-"

We get the sense that Buck is on the cusp of a love confession of his own, but before he gets the words out he's cut off by the sound of helicopter blades overhead.

Their miracle rescue arrives in time, led by none other than Buck's starting-to-be-something-serious boyfriend Tommy

After the rescue, we see Eddie in the back of the ambulance, stable and out of danger, and Buck's about to go over to him but Tommy comes running over and sweeps Buck up in his arms and kisses his temple and says, "thank god you're ok. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you"

And Buck lets himself be held, but his attention is over Tommy's shoulder looking at Eddie

Eddie, who's gonna be ok

Eddie, who loves him

Eddie, who is the absolute center of Buck's world, but Buck has never allowed himself to think of That Way

And Eddie meets Buck's eye over Tommy's shoulder and gives him a sad smile that lets Buck know he intends to go back to quietly loving Buck at just a little bit of a distance so that Buck can be happy with someone else

And just to really twist the knife, we get an overheard piece of dialogue in which Eddie refers to Buck as his "best friend" for the literal first time ever (I'm pretty sure? Up til now, any time the "best friend" label has been used it's been by Buck, but please correct me if I'm wrong.)

And the season ends there

Cue the entire fandom going APESHIT for the entirety of the summer hiatus

[girlwithonegoal]

sorry but the only reason destiel even works is because wincest did it first and also better

i've been thinking a LOT about this and want to get it all out so here it is. if dean was truly in love with cas, he would not have hesitated to tell him so when he literally knew cas was about to DIE. we don't see that. we see shock, grief, disbelief (an angel loves me!), we see him trying desperately to process his best friend is leaving him but nowhere does dean say, or imply, with his eyes, or words, that he's in love with cas. of course he loves cas - cas is family - and cas is not exactly his brother, (closest is brother-in-arms), despite his insistence in an earlier episode - but he's not in the kind of soul-crushing love that cas is with him. he's not in love with cas, and can't be, because he's already in love with sam.

when dean dies, he gets as close as he possibly can to confessing to sam he's in love with him without actually crossing the line. he would never to that to sam - he would never do to sam what cas did to him - because he would NEVER do anything to make sam lose his agency (sidebar: not that cas doesn't respect dean. but his love confession is almost wish fulfillment - i'm going to confess to dean i love him and go out in a blaze of glory and then leave without dean ever even having to reciprocate because i know he doesn't love me back. and he's absolutely right).

dean has already had years and years of not having his own agency from john his whole fucking life! john did whatever he wanted to dean and dean took it because like hell was he going to subject sam to that bullshit. which brings us to sam and dean's childhood - not much is known of their early years before sam went to stanford and that's fully on purpose. we can almost see dean as not only a brother figure to sam but also a father figure. john leaving for weeks maybe even months at a time - how the hell did dean and sam manage to survive? by dean doing whatever he had to do. emphasis on whatever.

you see, john absolutely knows that dean is beautiful. whether you read their relationship as purely abusive or abusive with a sexual component - dean definitely did questionable things to get food on the table for sam, an aspect that's more in fanon that canon but reads true to the heart of the show. sam doesn't know because dean wanted a normal childhood for him. and dean would rather die and go to hell for 800 years than force sam to make a choice, make any choice, of a romantic and/or sexual nature related to him.

back to dean's death. this is again the closest thing to a love confession that dean can make - my baby brother - take out the word brother and it would be not only romantic but stunningly true - he raised sam, this child who grew up to be a man, this child who loves him - waiting outside sam's dorm for hours - can you picture him pacing in the snow, waiting for the one thing he wants but can't have??? why does that sound familiar? oh, right, because that's what cas said but in dean and sam's case it would be actually true. how cruel and unbelievably insane it is to find your soulmate in your brother, the one person you have that you love unconditionally, not just because they are your family but because you are in love with them, and you can never have them as long as you live.

re: american gothic and soulmatism. very different from crimson peak where thomas fully realizes the unhealthiness of the codependent incestuous relationship with his sister and wants to be free and happy with edith. but sam and dean don't want to be free. in their minds, they already are free as long as they have each other and only each other. not getting in all the other romantic relationships that the brothers have with other people bc it would take too long, but they already fulfill that need for each other and don't need anyone else...like i'm sorry i love my sister but i want to get married one day to someone else. if you read their relationship as purely platonic, it doesn't work at ALL.

the kripke early seasons fully leaned into the gothic horror aspect of it all and incest is definitely a part of that...dean and sam literally cannot live without each other. they can't do it! sam dies in dean's arms and dean can't even wait five fucking minutes without making a deal with a demon lmao. he can't eat. he can't sleep. their love is a perpetual resurrection; they keep killing each other and bringing each other back to life. because they don't know how to stop. they are a singular mangled fucked up entity. i read a fic once where the author described sam as hating his own body because it was separate from dean's and dean's whole presence was a phantom pain. and yeah. just yeah. they can't live without each other because they ARE each other.

seasons 1-3 to me are spn at its soul. that's it. cas only works as a side character, if he's a brother (like, purely platonically) to both sam and dean or just unrequited romantic love for dean. the trope of an angel falling in love with a faithless man who can't pray only works if dean hasn't been in love with sam the whole time.

[gyougherea]

crp/mh pride hcs

got inspired by a mutual (the-s1lly-corner) <3 i wanna have a silly post about my silly guys. under cut bc i might get long

jeff the killer

jeff feels very greyrom/aro bisexual to me, i think he "prefers" women because he doesn't wanna admit he's bisexual at first. idk if he explicitly uses the greyrom label or anything but it describes him pretty well. he/him

liu woods / homicidal liu

can we give it up for TRANSHETS!!!!!!! realized he was trans (ftm) at a young age, didn't get to transition until adulthood because the only family who supported him was jeff. mainly to hide from his past he's also stealth about being transgender. he/him

sully (liu's cohost and protector) is arohet i think? idk haven't thought much but i do think liu and sully have slightly different seuxalities. it/he (EDIT: its sexuality is also influenced by the fact that it's an introject of jeff)

jane the killer

lesbian and also trans mtf!!! transbian jane epic win. i think she knew for a while that she was a lesbian and then also realized she was trans in high school as she was going further through puberty. i think she's femme lesbian specifically??? she/her

nina the killer

bisexual (initially had a pref for women, now just has a pref for the glasgow killer, aka jeff), cis girl but LOOOOOVES experimenting with pronouns!!! she/her default but PLEASE use neopronouns on her she would literally die for you if you got wacky with it

ben drowned

even if he wasn't ethereally both 12 and 32 he would still 100% be aroace. that shit does not intrigue him! he also uses he/they pronouns, maybe it/its. lost their gender in the whole becoming a computer shit

ticci toby

transmasc nonbinary, biromantic asexual! he/him pronouns specifically, despite not being a man he really leans into masculine terms and also even is on T and gave himself top surgery! yes. to himself. don't ask. it looks awful. world's worst top surgery scars award

clockwork

she/her. not butch not femme but a secret third thing (the butchest lesbian twitter can handle before getting scared /ref)

tim wright (two hcs)

normal hc is that he's biromantic aceflux! he doesn't really have a preference, frankly he's nervous about entering a serious relationship regardless of gender. his asexuality is kind of a roulette; he also probably falls between sex-neutral and sex-repulsed. he/him

"my house now" hc is that he's an intersex butch lesbian (not sure which exact intersex disorder but one of the ones i'm debating is something with 46,xx dsd?) that doesn't care about gender but uses he/him and masc terms because someone called him that and he was like "why not lol". he/him but frankly not offended if any other pronouns used

masky uses he/they in the first hc, it/its in the second hc

brian thomas (two hcs)

normal hc is that he's a gay man! discovered he was gay pretty early on in life and was probably tim's unofficial bisexual awakening back in college. very open about his identity, he's like the queer beacon in my eyes. he/him

"my house now" hc is that he's a lesbian and trans mtf! for the longest time she thought she was a bisexual man, but then in her late 20s to early 30s realized that not only did she feel like One Of The Girls(TM) but also that the only "man" she was attracted to was tim, who's not a man, so whoops! transbian time! she/her

hoodie uses he/it in the first hc, it/they in the second hc

jay merrick

trans ftm and bisexual! went on T but hasn't gotten top or bottom surgery before becoming the nefarious skully or whatever. cracked his egg in college, but probably figured out he was biseuxal in high school. he/him

skully uses no labels just vibes. queer/abrosexual and genderfluid are probably the labels that best describe them but again they don't fucking care. they/them default but sometimes uses others depending on which of their "many" are at the forefront

jessica locke

now if that's not the biggest lesbian i have ever seen in my life... her and taylor absolutely get married in lesbians after the comics are over. jessica probably always knew she didn't like boys but didn't realize she liked girls until a fateful sleepover in middle school or something. she/her

nothing specific for the others rn, might make a part 2 if i come up with more <3 adios

[millylotus]

DeadLights [Danny x Duke | DP x DC] Masterpost

THE WINNER OF THE POLE IS DEADLIGHTS!!! FUCKING LOVE THAT!!! Here's the masterpost for all the contestants, all of them will be posted in due time :]

So this post is going to have all the AUs in a line, and if you don't wanna be jumping around on Tumblr, I'll be posting these on Ao3 and Wattpad soon.

Spotify Playlist

GENERAL NOTES

Just the things that are gonna be consistent across all the AUs unless I say so.

Pt.2 [Claim Sheets]

THE FICS | AO3 SERIES

I SEE ALL OF YOU & YOU ARE MAGNIFICENT - monster x monster :

Danny and Duke see each other for the first time and are absolutely mesmerized by how gorgeous the other is. They fail to realise that being around another monster has made them both more comfortable letting their glamours fall.

MEMES!!!

WRITTEN IN THE STARS, BEFORE WE WERE EVEN BORN - betrothal au :

Light and Time met at the beginning of existence and made a deal. To make sure the other wouldn't back out and take everything, they invested in a collateral. Two of their kin to be born, will be wed. Betrothal contracts were not what Duke or Danny wanted for breakfast.

MEMES!!!

"YOU TAUNT ME, I CHASE YOU" "YOU CATCH ME, THEN LET ME GO" THEY DO IT AGAIN THE NEXT DAY - bat x cat :

Catwoman has a Kitten following her around, and that Kitten just so happens to like messing around with Batman's Sunshine Birdy. No Duke isn't a furry, Tim shut the fuck up you still haven't confessed to Kon! He and Bruce don't have the same type! Besides, the new kid Danny is much prettier than Selina's nephew. Tucker and Sam say Danny has a "vigilantes who can beat his ass" thing, which is stupid cause it's more of a "people who can beat his ass" thing. Cause like Duke Thomas from Algebra is hot.

MEMES!!!

MESMERIZED BY A BANSHEE'S SCREAMS - rockstar au :

Ember, Johnny, and Danny decided to fuck off to Gotham and start a punk-rock band. The new band that Dax found is fucking amazing, but Duke's eyes keep drifting to the pretty bassist.

No Memes, but there's a Spotify playlist on the post!

RASBERRY & LEMON DELIGHTS - countryboy!danny x emopunk!duke :

Duke and Damian go to the Kents for the summer, just for fun. The cute boy from the farm on the edge of town is definitely making the summer less lonely and more fun, they get to make sweets together. Danny is taking a gap year and has been staying with his Aunt Alicia since last summer. Things are boring until their closets neighbors the Kents get visitors. Hanging out with the pretty punk boy is making farm life fun.

MEMES!!!

THE CORPSE GROOM - corpse bride au :

Duke makes the mistake of playfully preforming wedding vows while playing pretend, and just so happens to put one of his rings on a branch that is not a branch. Now he's stuck in the underworld with a clingy new husband who insists that they're made for each other. TW: KIDNAPPING, NON-CON TOUCHING, OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR, THREATS ON ONES LIFE - when you think about it the Corpse Bride is a fucked up story, this Au doesn't get anywhere near the topic of sex or anything sexual, but Danny is mentioned and stated to be overly touchy with Duke when he doesn't want it

MEMES!!!

What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas - drunk vegas wedding :

It's completely on accident when they wake up in each other's arms thinking they're married. Danny was just so nice to get that creep away from Duke. Duke was happy to have a new friend to hang out with. Neither where all there during the wedding. The dress and suit are very pretty though. TW: DUBIOUS-CONSENT - both Duke & Danny where kinda drunk when they have sex, even though I didn't right the scene it's literally stated as INSERT SEX SCENE

MEMES!!!

"LOVE ME, LOVE ME, LOVE ME, LOV~" - love pollen :

The Everlasting Trio is visiting Gotham for a nature convention/meet up thing. A villain just so happens to attack and Poison Ivy takes great offense to them attack the few humans who care. During the scuffle Danny gets hit with a boat load of experimental pollen Ivy was making. Signal just so happens to be the hero who finds him among the rumble. Also being the first person Danny lays eyes on.

DANI DOESN'T HAVE TO WORRY BUT ACCIDENTLY CALLING MR.THOMAS DAD ANYMORE - teacher x single parent :

When Danny & Ellie where traveling around the world, Dani makes the mistake of accidently drinking some Lazarus water. With his daughter rapidly de-aging to a six-year old, Danny runs and finds his sister. Jazz suggests getting Ellie enrolled in a night school, and for Danny to get a job gooning for a bit. It's a plus that Mr.Thomas isn't all that hard on the eyes.

MINI FICS

I WANNA BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, NEVER FEELS LIKE I AM - popular boy!duke x loner new kid!danny :

The portal to the Ghost Zone has finally closed and The Fenton's decided that it's better for them to just start anew and move to Gotham. Danny's never been the new kid, but he can be the weird loner. People have always adored Duke because of the way he shine like no other, and Gothamites had never experienced that before. Duke never got a big head about it, his mother never let that happen. But that doesn't mean he didn't become the most popular boy where ever he went.

MEMES!!!

MESMERIZED BY A BANSHEE'S SCREAMS - rockstar au :

Ember, Johnny, and Danny decided to fuck off to Gotham and start a punk-rock band. The new band that Dax found is fucking amazing, but Duke's eyes keep drifting to the pretty bassist.

No Memes, but there's a Spotify playlist on the post!

GHOSTLIGHTS EVENT FICS - @dcxdp-ghostlights

To See Your Face Again, is to remember you're not really there - 'I thought I knew you' :

Join Me, he beckoned. Stay With Me, he cooed. Love Me, he demanded.

He didn’t need to ask for the last one.

PENDING FICS THAT MIGHT HAPPEN

Myths

Hades x Persephone : Either or really

Eros!Danny x Psyche!Duke

Atalanta!Danny x Meleager!Duke

Noble Boy!Duke x Kitsune Servant!Danny

Dynamics

Rivals to Lovers

Guardian Angel!Duke x Demon!Danny

Bodyguard!Danny x Famous!Duke

Actor!Duke x Techie!Danny

General

Secret Identity Shenanigans

Royalty

Hanahaki Disease

Dancing

Roommates

Neighbors

Coffee Shop

Fairies

Space Things

Fake Relationship

Swapped Phones

Haunted Houese

POV Outsider : Who's your boyfriend? | Those two are so weird | Accused of cheating with your partner's secret identity

Messy Relationship [I like Drama] : Stalking | Kidnapping | Break Ups | Cheating on each other | Cheating on their partners with each other

Soulmates : Timer to meeting | Timer to Death | Death Marks | First Scars | Soul Marks | Red String | Body Swap | Body Doodles | Black & White then Color | Soulmate Goose of Enforcement [I said what I said]

ngl I am so fucking proud of this banner, worked so fucking hard on this bitch MM!

They're free to use with credit btw [with like a few minor nonos]

[transfemlogan]

idk if you were being serious lol, i have trouble with tone. but whats wrong with some of the ts critters?

which ones are "right" and whos just "shitting on anything"?

i am finally off of work & just ate a sandwich so now i can finally talk abt this.

please note: I am referring to a small group of fans within the critical side of things.

On both sides of the community, no one (hyperbole) can ever settle with a middle ground or have any sort of grey area. it's always extreme. it's always "thomas is the worst person ever & all of his actions r terrible" or "thomas is the best person ever & all of his actions are good", when in actuality human beings are complex and cannot be contained in one absolute or another.

Some TSS critical fans focus on things that absolutely do not matter or have the most wild takes I've ever seen. I was one in a sasi critical discord server awhile back and everyone was complaining about Thomas' posting his clothed ass on instagram ... he quite literally underpaying his employees. i think one of these is more important than what he does with his own body.

and the thing is there are some things that he does in regards to his body that IS weird, such as: why is he posting sexually as velma, a teen character, on his patreon which (at the time, idk if it is still now) is not age restricted.

but him posting himself in a spiderman suit where if you look REALLY hard you can "see his underwear" is not the biggest issue in the world. or him not wearing a dance belt in the same costume. sorry, but actually i think you're the weird one if you're focused so heavily on how his genitals look in cosplay! the way you guys talk about it is lowkey leaning towards sexual harrassment, and I don't know if Thomas has an opinion on it or not, but's its incredibly weird regardless.

Shitting on thomas & co, current & past, employees for breathing. there's a new blog going around mentioning how they "hate brei" bcuz she "always starts drama" and the drama that they're talking about is her getting laid off... like. thats not drama, i think an artist is allowed to speak about their experiences with a certain job.

I feel like certain TSS critical fans have such an unrealistic view on creators, in the same way certain non-critical fans do. where non-critical fans think he shouldn't be held accountable for anything that he does, critical fans think every single thing he does is inherently evil or whatever.

"thomas shouldn't be attacking people in his twitter replies" this is an inherently true statement, however there's certain things that really depend on what's happening.

What is this person saying under thomas' posts? Who is saying it? How is thomas reacting specifically?

someone who comments unhelpful & rude ass comments underneath thomas' posts, such as infantalising him by telling him "thomas, thomathy, my sweet child, learn how to wear a skirt!!!" does in fact deserve some heat back because that's fucking weird. telling thomas advice on how to pose for a photoshoot is also probably fucking weird. but a child (or even an adult) commenting how much they miss sanders sides because it's been 4 years? that's fine and deserves a lot more compassion than thomas gives them.

& then you see how some people dm him about certain things or comment on his posts about it, when none of it is warranted. yes it's fucking weird for you to dm him, a REAL HUMAN BEING, and tell him to "hurry up and finish the fucking video"!!!! but its ALSO weird for him to post your username publically knowing how big his fanbase is and knowing how they will react.

im sorry but some fans are, in fact, fucking rude ass cunts. & thomas is allowed to tell you to fuck off. but its important to know when thomas is allowed to do that and when some fans are not being rude ass cunts. thats the point of critical thinking.

and there is some entitlement within the critical side of the community. yes thomas does owe his fans things, no he doesn't owe you certain things.

it's not surprising that he gives sasi upsets on his patreon, it's almost like that's what the point of a patreon is. but he does owe those patreon users something, since they are paying him Money For promised content that never comes.

it's not surprising that he got upset you provided unwanted critique on how he's posing? in a photoshoot? and then didnt... "credit you for the advice" ... thats not exactly how advice works. he does not owe you that. But it is weird how he does take from fan creation and headcanons. after Joan (& thomas, im pretty sure) talked about how they don't like reading fanfiction because they don't want to steal from fans, only to go on and make logan's eyes orange.

(note: i do not know what that user's advice even was, since they never go in depth about it. so maybe it was warranted some credit and not a rude response, but i have no idea so I am going off what I know.)

A lot of fans, again on both sides of the community, think it's a very black & white situation. if one thing applies then everything else does to, when in actuality like .... situations are more complex than you guys expect.

sometimes there's just not a lot of nuance or fucking thinking that goes into some of these takes, and it's one of the reasons I dislike looking at TSS critical blogs now. its why i dislike the concept of a "critical discord server", because no one here can use critical thinking.

i want nuanced, intriguing takes and criticism. not random fucking baseless hate just because you want to shit on him. its annoyingggg!!!

[anexperimentallife]

You miserable little tankie purity-pony CUNT. Biden is anything but a 'shitstain'; he has done more for this country than any president in decades. If you could get your head out of Nina Turner's and Jill Stein's reeking gashes long enough to read any actual facts....but when you're not eating out PUTA's little whores you're exploring Bernout's cloaca with your tongue. Know what? I don't believe your post either. You'll vote for some bitch like Cornel West out of spite. Schooled and blocked :D

Welp, SOMEBODY apparently loves genocide against brown people, loves big banks, and loves the guy they used to call "Senator Mastercard."

And NOT loving genocide, banks, and Biden I guess makes one a... "tankie?" (I don't think that word means what he thinks it does.)

I mean, obviously supporting genocide is the worst of Biden's crimes, but even if not for that, I'm also not a fan of smearing and harassing women who've been sexually harassed and pushing to get their abusers on the Supreme Court (look up Anita Hill and Clarence Thomas), or spearheading the legislation that made student loans un-dismissable by bankruptcy (funny that people are praising him for putting a bandaid on a tiny fraction of the student loan crisis he helped create), and generally supporting banls against the US citizenry at every opportunity, thus helping to create the highest level of income inequality and poverty in the developed world, with all the suffering that has caused. I guess supporting the Iraq war was ALSO a case of Biden doing SO MUCH for America and the world?

(He still says he stands by every vote he has ever cast, by the way, which would include his votes to bomb brown kids, to put Thomas on the SCOTUS, and to give banks more power at our expense.)

Wonder if these are the kinds of facts this guy wants to make sure I'm aware of?

I mean, like I said, if it comes down to either Biden, or a Trump military dictatorship (which the orange shitgibbon and his aupporters are already talking about,,and which Tuberville is doing his best to facilitate by blocking military appointees until a GOP victory the way they blocked judicial appointments so the Orange One could fill the court with far right zealors who would overtirn Roe v Wade), and which will ALSO support genocide), I'll hold my nose and pull the lever for the lesser of two shitstains, because--again, BOTH parties support genocide, but the GOP literally tried to stage a domestic coup, openly considers nuclear warfare a viable option, and... well, you've heard them. And I want my daughter to grow up with things like freedom of speech, and access to abortion and birth control and stuff, you know?

But oh, my... I have apparently been "schooled and blocked" LMAO. How will I ever survive?

(Rambled a bit here, I know, but its 3am where I am, and I'm up coughing my lungs up, so this was a distraction for me.)

[heartofstanding]

After reading your article, marriages like Eleanor and Humphrey, Katherine and John, Henry VIII and Ambeline are described as women seducing men, and men being victims... But marriages like Owen Tudor and Catherine, Richard Woodville and Jacqueta in Luxembourg, will have completely ignored the subjective initiative of women, and the description of men seducing women should be class/gender discrimination?

Hi anon, I think you're asking about what kind of narratives there were around the marriages between men and women of significantly higher status, the inverse of the type of relationships I was talking about in this blogpost I made on my sideblog that focused on Eleanor Cobham, where women married men of much higher status than themselves.

There seems to be comparatively little scholarship in this area and it would be fascinating to see what commonalities and links a study would produce. The marriage of men to women of significantly higher status than themselves does appear to have been fairly common but does not seem to have generated the same amount of commentary and infamy as the relationships between women who married men of significantly higher status. I don't mean that they didn't contract comment but that there was little sustained comment - who remembers Alice de Lacey and Eubulus le Strange? Katherine Woodville and Sir Richard Wingfield? The only high profile case I can think of is Joan of Kent and Thomas Holland.

From what I could find, there does not seem to be the equivalent narrative of the man of lesser status seducing or bewitching the high-status woman into marriage. Instead, what seems to be the common theme is, as Katherine J. Lewis says, "a standard medieval antifeminist notion: that women were naturally inclined to lust and rendered irrational to it."

Lewis was talking specifically about the case of Catherine de Valois. One contemporary chronicler remarked that she was "unable to fully control her fleshly passions" when she married Owen Tudor and even chastises her for keeping the marriage secret "so she did not claim honourable title [of marriage] during her lifetime". Tudor was described by another chronicle as "no man of birthe nother of lyflode", implying his unworthiness. But there seems to have been little rancour or blame directed at Tudor.

It's not until the 16th century where the image of Catherine as governed by her lust became the dominant narrative around her remarriage, perhaps because the rise of the Tudor dynasty and Henry VIII's marital life lent itself to it. One notable example is Edward Hall, who in 1548 described Catherine as:

beyng young and lust, folowyng more awne appetite, then frendely counsaill and regardyng more her priuate affecion then her open honour

He describes Tudor, on the other hand, as a "goodly gentilman & a beautyful person, garnished with many Godly gyftes, both of nature & of grace" - so the issue here is not that Tudor is a social-climber but that Catherine is at the mercy of her sexual desires. Probably the most extreme example of this is Nicholas Fox's claim that Catherine "bey[ed] like a very dronkyn whore" in bed with Tudor - a factoid often gleefully repeated by historians and commentators to proclaim Tudor's sexual prowess despite the fact that Fox made the claim in 1541 and is far from a reliable source. The fact that it has been almost universally used to celebrate Tudor by demeaning Catherine shows how long-lasting this type of narrative is. Polydore Vergil similarly describes Catherine dismissively as "yonge in yeres, and thereby of lesse discretion to judge what was decent for estates" and then focuses on Tudor's lineage and good qualities. Kavita Mudan Finn notes that he "succeeds in suppressing what on the surface to appears to be her agency - a second marriage of her own free will - by literally changing the subject to Owen, and by extension, Henry, Tudor". This same suppression of Catherine's agency appears again in Michael Drayton's Englands Heroicall Epistles where Catherine appears to be acting on her own initiative, wanting Tudor for herself, but Drayton has Tudor displace Catherine's agency by citing destiny as the impulse behind their union. Catherine "is reimagined as a 'a Royall Prize' for Tudor to claim", per Finn. In short, Catherine appears to be cast as oversexed and/or uncontrollable while Tudor's individual qualities and descent are celebrated and their union is seen as governed by destiny and fate.

Joan of Kent has fared similarly to Catherine in that she is primarily remembered as governed by her lust. Famously described as Froissart as "a woman more beautiful and amorous than any in the realm" and by Adam of Usk as a "woman given to slippery ways", Joan had married Thomas Holland clandestinely, then been convinced by her family to marry William Montagu (the son of the Earl of Salisbury). Around eight years later, Holland then petitioned the papacy to return Joan to him, resulting in a public scandal. When Holland died in 1360, Joan made another shocking match, this time marrying Edward of Woodstock, Edward III's eldest son and heir known to history as "the Black Prince". Joan was sometimes referred to the "Fair Maid of Kent" or "the Virgin of Kent", probably sarcastically. Thomas Austin's wife was alleged to claim that Joan's son with the Prince, Richard II, was "nevere the prynses son and ... his moder [i.e. Joan] was nevere but a strong hore". Froissart recorded a conversation between Richard and his usurper, Henry IV, where Henry alleged that a bastard gotten in adultery. W. Mark Ormrod also suggested that various narratives about Joan in the Peasants Revolt built on her carnal reputation and may have reflected even more salacious tales floating around. Thomas Walsingham emphasises Joan's other alleged, inordinate appetites around the time of her death - gluttony ("hardly able to move about because she was so fat") and a love of luxury.

It is, however, very difficult to determine how much of Joan's reputation was shaped to her marriage to a man of significantly lower status or how much it was shaped by her marriage to the man, at the time, was to be the next king of England and to whom her marriage was both scandalous and unconventional. Likely, her reputation was formed by both marriages, both feeding the other. The deposition of her son also meant that her reputation was used as a way of slandering him. Thomas Holland, on the other hand, barely seems to be mentioned, let alone criticised - even if he was in his mid-20s when he married the 12 year old Joan. In fact, Henry Knighton's chronicle positions Holland as seduced by her, crediting Holland's "desire for her" as the cause that she had been divorced from her second husband, Montagu.

Jacquetta and Richard Woodville do not seem to have drawn the same level of commentary. Lynda J. Pidgeon notes that "the marriage ... aroused no comment from English chroniclers until after the couple’s daughter, Elizabeth, married King Edward IV in 1464". though it was recorded in by continental chronicles, such as Enguerrand de Monstrelet, who recorded recorded:

In this year [1436], the duchess of Bedford, sister to the count de St. Pol, married, from inclination, an English knight called sir Richard Woodville, a young man, very handsome and well made, but, in regard to birth, inferior to her first husband, the regent, and to herself…

This has similar echoes to Hall's and Vergil's comments about the marriage of Catherine and Owen Tudor - Jacquetta marries from "inclination" a man inferior to herself but who is otherwise "very handsome and well-made". Hall includes the story of their marriage immediately after his account of Catherine and Tudor, which, as Finn says, "hints at a growing interest - and indeed, anxiety - about women's desires". Like Catherine, Jacquetta is described as marrying Woodville "rather for pleasure then for honour" and "without coū∣sayl of her frendes". Her family is said to disapprove but can do nothing - sentiments also found in Monstrelat and Jean de Wavrin. Rather than dwelling on Woodville's qualities as he does with Tudor's, Hall describes Woodville "lusty" and notes that he was made Baron Rivers, which may indicate . He does, however, mention the marriage of their daughter, Elizabeth, to the future Edward IV, a subject which he promises to return to.

The continuation of Monstrelet's chronicle links Jacquetta and Woodville's marriage to that of their daughter, Elizabeth Woodville's marriage to Edward IV, "thus linking these two unorthodox women together", per Finn. Here's what this continuation says:

After the death of the duke, his widow following her own inclinations, which were contrary to the wishes of her family, particularly to those of her uncle, the cardinal of Rouen, married the said lord Rivers, reputed the handsomest man that could be seen, who shortly after carried her to England, and never after could return to France for fear of the relatives of this lady.

It is likely that Jacquetta's unconventional second marriage helped render Jacquetta's reputation suspect and tempting to speculate that that it rendered her vulnerable to the accusations that she had used witchcraft to make Edward IV marry her daughter, Elizabeth Woodville. The unpopularity in France and Burgundy of her first marriage to John of Lancaster, Duke of Bedford and Regent of France may have also played into this view. Ricardians have certainly framed her as her as a seductress and her family as scheming, power-hungry social climbers in that regard - while also treating her as driven by her lust for Woodville. However, there is no evidence that this was the view of Jacquetta at the time, either in England or in France.

Richard Woodville is unique amongst the three men I've mentioned in that he seems to have been reviled as a man "brought up from nought", along with the rest of his and Jacquetta's prodigious offspring. This view has been spurred on by Ricardian historians that have reviled Elizabeth Woodville, where the entire family is depicted as a brood of grasping social climbers. An invasive species, if you will. I think it is likely that Jacquetta and Richard Woodville's marriage has helped furnish this view, particularly for Woodville himself. However, this particular image of Woodville and his children only seems to emerge with Elizabeth's marriage to Edward IV and the tensions between Edward, Woodville, George, Duke of Clarence and Richard Neville, Earl of Warwick ('the Kingmaker'), rather than Woodville's marriage to Jacquetta.

In short: the tendency seems to be depict the high-status woman as indulging in her own sexual desires and acting on her own will, disregarding reason, counsel and sense, while the man of lesser-status is considered handsome but bears little or no responsibility for seducing the woman. He is of less interest to contemporary chroniclers. Woodville seems to be an exception, rather than the norm, in being seen as guilty of social climbing and there it is the marriage of his daughter, not his own marriage, that gave that reputation. Owen Tudor, as the patriarchal originator of the Tudor dynasty, was celebrated by Tudor-era writers for his qualities and Welsh lineage - it would be easy to conclude that had he not been the grandfather of Henry VII, he would be entirely forgotten.

There do not seem to be any contemporary claims than Tudor, Holland or Woodville seduced, bewitched or raped their wives, whatever historical fiction novelists or pop historians claim. However, it should be noted that there are many cases where other high-status women could be abducted and forced into marriage. One example is Alice de Lacey, Countess of Lancaster. For those cases, I suggest reading Caroline Dunn's Stolen Women. It is far too long and complicated subject to summarise in a tumblr post.

Sources:

Caroline Dunn, Stolen Women in Medieval England: Rape, Abduction, and Adultery, 1100–1500 (Cambridge University Press, 2017)

David Green “‘A woman given to slippery ways’? The reputation of Joan, the Fair Maid of Kent”, People, Power and Identity in the Late Middle Ages: Essays in Memory of W. Mark Ormrod (Routledge, 2021, eds. Gwilym Dodd, Helen Lacey, Anthony Musson)

Katherine J. Lewis, “Katherine of Valois: The Vicissitudes of Reputation”, Later Plantagenet and the Wars of the Roses Consorts: Power, Influence, and Dynasty (eds. J. L. Laynesmith and Elena Woodacre, Palgrave 2023)    

Kavita Mudan Finn, The Last Plantagenet Consorts: Gender, Genre, and Historiography, 1440-1627 (Palgrave Macmillan, 2012)

W. Mark Ormrod, "In Bed With Joan of Kent: The King's Mother and the Peasants Revolt", Medieval Women: Texts and Contexts in Late Medieval Britain (ed. Jocelyn Wogan-Browne, Rosalynn Voaden, Arlyn Diamond, Ann Hutchison, Carol Meale, and Lesley Johnson, Brepols 2000)

Lynda J. Pigdeon, Brought Up Of Nought: A History of the Woodville Family (Fonthill 2019)

[rinadragomir]

Highlights of the first 4 chapters of Chain of Thorns ✨🤌🏻

Gorgeous dark eyes 😍💅🏻 Thomas sleeps and dreams of Alastair, Thomas eats and thinks of Alastair, Thomas looks at Christopher and sees Alastair. Pathetic but good for him, hope that fire message finds the right person~

SHUT UP?!?! stop this?!.... This family is gonna be the death of me, THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH?!😭

Thomas WHAT kind of behavior is that huh? Hehehe "it's very annoying 🙄💅🏻😔" He's the legend, he's an icon and he IS the moment!

y'all know I'm not a fan of him but AJASKPUGSHIJ MATTHEW!!!! Keep entertaining us^-^

What should I say? That I love them more than myself and my whole family all together?!?! Well yes?... What about it?💁🏼‍♀️

I— I'm just— *falls like a kitten from the stairs from that meme* Will's new favorite kid just dropped🥹I can't express my feelings about it, so I'm choosing to scream out of the window ^-^

LISTEN! We all used to joke about Magnus being annoyed that all shadowhunters refuse to acknowledge other warlocks existence and go straight to his apartment during SOBH. But THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY DON'T WANNA BOTHER HIM☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻 SO PLEASE BOTHER HIM EVEN MORE 🙏🙇🏼‍♀️thank you

Not Christopher feeling useless and being afraid that all his work will lead to nothing 😭😞 ANYONE BUT HIM!!!! How can he think this way?((((( Nonononono it literally breaks my already broken heart, he didn't deserve this!

WHY NOBODY TALKS ABOUT THE FACT THAT ARIADNE LITERALLY CAME OUT TO HER MOTHER LIKE?!?....... Hello?😳 And her mother already knew about Ari's sexuality and just wants her to shut up and keep trying to seduce rich powerful men? Damn... Like yeah of course she knew:( and we don't know her father's reaction yet. I'm afraid it can be much worse 👀

I also wanted to add

"JEAN-PIERRE, YOU MUST GIVE THEM BACK!"😤

"What?"😳

"THE CHICKENS! YOU MUST GIVE THEM ALL BACK!" 😑

"I will, Claude—"😭

But I can attach only 10 pics ;-;

[eschergirls]

Site Updates, Request for Feedback, and Thank You to our June Patrons!!!

Hi everybody!

It's July so it's time for another site update and to thank you to all our Patreon subscribers! :3

So, if you missed last month's update, the biggest thing is that I've discovered a lot of the Escher Girls Tumblr has been flagged incorrectly by Tumblr as adult content.  I'm still working on appealing them all.  The good news is it looks like most of it isn't removed or blocked, just flagged.  I'm still not sure how that affects people's viewing, it seems most people can still see most things.  If you notice any difficulties seeing posts, please let me know. The flagging seems to be entirely automated because a lot of the posts flagged have nothing even remotely sexual about them, some are literally just the algorithm being unable to recognize that a person with fire powers isn't naked (it flagged a cover with Johnny Storm with his flame on for instance), and the appeals are processed instantly, so there's definitely no human looking at it. It's frustrating, to say the least.

The issues with Tumblr are why I decided to self-host the site even though it takes more work and costs money, because while it's not Tumblr, it is an archive that I control and can't be deleted or hidden by the whims of a corporation changing their policies (*glances at Twitter for no reason*).  It's also why I've mention that Escher Girls has an RSS feed so people know there's a way to keep up to date with posts outside of Tumblr.

For newbies who don't know what RSS is, it stands for Really Simple Syndication and is basically a feed that you can read using an RSS reader. Simply copy and paste https://eschergirls.com/rss.xml into an RSS reader and it will keep you up to date on Escher Girls!  (Here is more on RSS. We are also in the process of making a page on EG to help newbies who don't know where to start to find an RSS reader, etc...)

Also, if you have any suggestions for upgrades to the site that would make it more readable, usable, etc to you, please let me know! Also if there's a way to make commenting more accessible than using Disqus that you'd like us to try implementing.

I know it sounds corny, but it's also why I'm so appreciative of the support we get from Patreon & Ko-Fi because it helps pay for hosting and the domain name and helps us upgrade the site as needed.  And just for myself, I appreciate all the readership and support because it's cool that something I make is meaningful to others. <3

As usual, I'm working on restoring broken posts when I find them.  Some of them I've found aren't just broken on this site due to the move but also don't exist on Tumblr anymore due the posts being removed due to flagging.  If you didn't see it earlier, I want to especially point to a post from the original Elder Scrolls because I wrote that as a short story and I think people would get a kick out of it.

Anyway, with the update done, I want to give our June Patreon subscribers a very sincere thank you, your support means so much to us, and me personally <3

So thank you so much to:

Anne Adler Cat Mara CheerfulOptimistic Chris McKenzie Em Bardon First Time Trek Greg Sepelak Joseph Millman Ken Trosaurus Kevin Carson Kim Wincen Kristoffer Illern  Holmén Leak Manuel Dalton Mary Kuhner Max Schwarz Michael Mazur Michael Norton Miriam Pody Morgan McEvoy randomisedmongoose Ringoko Ryan Gerber Sam Mikes Sean Sea SnigePippi SpecialRandomCast Thomas Thomas Key

And a special thank you to "NM" for supporting us on Ko-Fi!!!

And just in general, thank you to everybody who follows, reads, and interacts with Escher Girls and contributes through commentary, submissions, and participating in the caption contests.

You all are amazing <3

Ami

(If you wish to support Escher Girls, you can subscribe to our Patreon at: https://www.patreon.com/ami_angelwings or donate through Ko-Fi at: https://ko-fi.com/amiangelwings.)

[edwinspaynes]

If the TLH Squad Had the Internet: A Companion to Social Media Headcanons

I am sorry, my Matthew and Thomastair biases are emerging again, please accept me

The first thing Matthew does when he connects to ye olde world wide web is turn to the rest of the group. "this is cool," he says. "i'm going to use it to download stageplays illegally, find sexually explicit materials, and watch videos of cute animals playing."

Alastair looks at him with SUPREME judgment. "This device contains the entirety of human knowledge, no one is ever going to use it for that. Don't be stupid."

Matthew shrugs and goes back to his illegal stageplay downloads. "I think that's exactly what people will use it for."

Alastair is interested in the internet because it is a New Thing. He begins to research it a bit. He's reading essays on the internet, how it was formed, how it works, how to navigate it. He especially learns how to protect his privacy online.

Matthew accepts ALL cookies. He thinks he will get literal cookies. Alastair, who has learned about cookies, just lets it happen.

Thomas and James decide to pull a prank on Matthew and Alastair. They painstakingly figure out how to order GrubHub and get Insomnia Cookies delivered. Matthew takes this as an enormous win because he was right, he got cookies. Alastair can suck it.

Thomas and James both find food delivery fascinating. They learn that they can eat whatever they want if they press a few buttons. They do not really understand that they're paying for it. They order like 20 pounds of Pad Thai.

Thomas also is extremely interested in podcasts. He can hear people speaking other languages and learn new things with the touch of a button. He likes Lexicon Valley, and he just starts listening to it. He listens to it for hours while everything goes on around him. It's cool.

Eventually, Thomas shows Alastair Spotify. Alastair thinks Spotify is the coolest thing because he can listen to classical music and ghazals whenever he wants to. He winds up making several playlists.

He hates modern music and has decided that it is The Enemy. Matthew discovers Shake It Off and loves it. He plays it loudly and it's only 50% to annoy Alastair.

Matthew becomes a huge Swiftie.

Alastair's playlists are extremely organized in a way that fascinates both James and Matthew, who have just ❤ed random shit they like in the most disorganized way.

James and Matthew also figure out that they can make joint playlists, which is pretty cool.

James downloads the Kindle app on his phone and has realized that he can read books on his device. He thinks it's really cool because he can take the books anywhere, but he ultimately decides he doesn't like it because it doesn't smell or feel like a book.

Matthew, who is a World Traveler, likes the app so much that he orders an actual Kindle. Now he doesn't need to lug books about as he travels the world, and he can always have the Complete Works of Oscar Wilde with him. It works.

Cordelia is mostly confused with how the keyboard works because she ran her hand across it once and it automatically made words. She realized that she doesn't need to type the words manually and wants to emulate that. She can't figure out that she needs to run her fingers over the letters in the configurations of the words she wants to make.

Eventually, she does get there and gasps. She shows James. This has rocked his world. Both of them now refuse to type like normal people and Alastair casts solid judgment on them. He thinks that the dragging-your-fingers method is not only lazy, but ineffective because of their many typos. (He is correct).

Cordelia also uses this opportunity to learn more about Cortana as it exists in the crown jewels. She's baffled to learn the facts of this Cortana as it is so different from her own sword. She finds it moderately uncomfortable that there's a second Cortana in the Tower of London.

Like Alastair, she likes reading essays on JStor. Matthew thinks this is a weird way to use the internet.

Matthew has downloaded so much illegal music at this point it's insane.

Lmk if you want a Part 2 :)

[louisfriend-ironsulfide]

Hellu! I'm trying to get help from multiple sources and seeing as you're one of my favourite authors I thought I might ask you:

How do you write smut? (Specifically cunnulingus)

I already read a bunch of tips, but I just don't know where or how to start

Ive gotta say, as somebody who struggles with writing sex more than anything else I’m flattered lol. I avoid it at the best of times, but I’m glad you find what I’ve posted good enough to drop me an ask in the first place! I’m sure I’ve not got much more to say than what you’ve probably already read, but here are a few things I keep in mind regardless.

I try to approach writing sex the same way I do a conversation because, in a sense, it is the same thing. Try and imagine sex as a back and forth or an opportunity for growth/discovery rather than just a plain and simple act: I find that’s a good place to start if you’re stuck and it’s always how I personally start. Describe one character doing something like moving towards the other or touching them somewhere and then write the second characters response. Just let it grow from that. Have a vague outline about what you want to achieve with the scene and where you want things to go, but just go with the flow and let it happen step by step. Just like in real life, if you plan a sexual encounter too much that’s when it ends up being awkward: Characters will do whatever the fuck they want most of the time and we as writers have very little control over them lol so, in the case of smut especially, give them a starting point and then let them go wild.

With that, I also think it’s very important to not focus explicitly on the sex. What I mean is instead focus primarily on the characters’ reactions to it. Give just as much attention to things like eye contact and sharp intakes of breath and tensing muscles and emotional responses etc. as you do to the physical touches that elicit the aforementioned responses. Put emphasis on the feelings that the interaction is giving the character more so than the actual physical, literal act of the sex.

For example: some of my favourite scenes in fanfic include this one, this one and this one. I go back to them a lot for inspo. The first one is fairly short and not overly detailed but I find it a super effective, excellent example of nsfw writing that doesn’t feel overly clinical or clunky or drawn out. The second two are longer but still focus a lot more on the emotional and personal aspects of the sex in the same way you might focus on emotional responses when writing a conversation.

Another thing, and I guess this applies more directly to the case of cunnilingus, is that I personally don’t like to be overly descriptive about specific parts of anatomy. Most of the time I find smut is better when you’re sort of vague with the more explicit descriptions. When you are referring to genitals just… don’t be afraid to call it what it is. You see a lot of wacky synonyms and metaphors for body parts in fanfiction and they always sound awkward. Don’t be like Thomas Harris: don’t be afraid to write the word nipple (I say this lovingly). Here and here you can find some good resources for terminology. That second link is especially good to check out.

Sorry if I rambled, I hope this is somewhat helpful? If it isn’t, my only other advice is to just read what you find hot, take notes on what exactly it is that makes it good in your opinion and try your best to emulate it.

[abyssal-ali]

held together, our hands became a map

Pairing: Jason Todd x Stephanie Brown

Rating: M | WC: 12.1k + notes | Masterlist | Ao3 | CW: sexual harrassment, light violence, kind-of forced marriage (both want to marry the other but they don't think the other wants to), sexual content

A/N: Finally watched Bridgerton and was immediately inspired. Of course. You’re welcome. Thanks to Bold for letting me rant in her DMs and listening to me ramble about this fic<3 I wrote this in about three days and I’m really proud of myself so I hope y’all like it as much as I do :D Thanks to Boldly and HouseOfKings for betaing<3

Greetings, fair reader. I am the foremost reporter of Gotham society’s deepest and darkest secrets, the enigma that provides the ton with all the scandal they need to continue their gossipy lives. Let me tell you about two subjects of mine that I am finding most difficult to uncover a smear on their names. Miss Stephanie Brown is being sponsored by Duchess Grayson for a season in Gotham's finest society. She's looking for a man who is decent and decently wealthy (she has parents to take care of, after all; she's not choosing to trade love for money just because she's poor). The Duke of Altheban is new to town and most certainly isn't looking for a bride, but something is drawing him to one young lady against his will. Everyone has dark truths, and none more so than those who live in the glitz of high society. I will reveal their most hidden mysteries by the end of the season, or my name is not, Lady Gotham

-The title is a line from Love Maze by BTS. It’s kind of the theme song for this fic and is really catchy, if you want a new bop to listen to. English lyrics here. -There’s probably going to be some historical inaccuracies in here. Sorry not sorry. -I definitely played around with canon a lot, but canon can’t keep their story straight so at least I’m doing better than them, even if by doing so I mess up their canon :p -This is set in 1810. -It’s not a no-capes AU but it’s also not a Gotham by Gaslight AU (besides being set 80 years earlier). There’s some Bat-shenaniganery going on that’s not recorded in the fic but they haven’t revealed themselves to me yet. Just assume watered-down GbG AU, I suppose. Primitive crime-fighting stuff, some smarts being involved, and the basic tragic Bat-story & subsequent adoptions etc. -Jason died. I don’t know how. Or when. Or why. It just happened. Maybe I’ll figure it out in another work ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -There was/is no TimSteph. They’re friends at best. -I meant for Cass and Duke to be in here (which sparked a whole breakdown trying to figure out what to call someone literally named Duke) but somehow they never popped in, besides one line where ‘Thomas’ [surname] is mentioned. The rest of the Bats aren’t really there, either, minus the minor Dick/Babs appearances. This is not a Batfam fic, this is a JaySteph fic. -I really like Babs’s character, and I dislike the ping-ponging in canon between making her disabled or not, so I kept her as her current(?) self, Oracle. No I don’t know how it happened or how she survived with the medicine of the day. This is fiction, shhh. Side note: Wheelchairs from the 1800’s looked more comfortable than I was expecting. -Don’t bother figuring out ages. Jason and Steph are in their early/mid-twenties and the rest of it is *waves hand* -I looked up Regency wedding traditions and wrote as accurately as I could. -More notes about the fic & my research at the end. (Side note: This was 12,000 words exactly in my docs, where did the extra 46 come from?! I was proud of that round wc ;-;)

Dearest Reader, 

As you may know, the belle of the season is Miss Adelia Elliot, who broke onto the scene with a high compliment from the queen of Gotham herself, Selina Wayne. But let us not be so hasty to secure Miss Elliot as the season’s incomparable, for there has emerged another young lady from the ranks of the season’s debutantes.

Miss Stephanie Brown, a previously unheard-of young lady, has caught the eye of the most eligible Lord Duma. Will this debutante with unforeseen connections consider Lord Duma her match, or will she set her sights higher, with the backing of the inestimable judge of character, Duchess Grayson of Bludhaven? 

Only time will tell. Let us speculate on the matches that may be made, for there appears to be blossoming a most fruitful season. However, let us not be swept away by the opening chords. There is still room for even the most nimble of societal maestros to slip.

We hope to be spared any slips by the illustrious Lord Damian Wayne at tonight’s soiree at Wayne Manor, the event that I am sure we all can acknowledge will kick off the season with refined festivity.

The youngest son of our very own darling Prince of Gotham, Bruce Wayne, Lord Wayne has been studying music at the Geneva Academy of Music for the past several months. 

I look forward to seeing you all at his event, utilizing your finest feathers and weaponized words to glamour yourselves in an attempt to snag one of the elusive, prized sons of the finest founding family of this city.

Your closest friend,

Lady Gotham

Stephanie tossed the pamphlet onto the desk in annoyance. 

“Is that the newest Lady Gotham newsletter?” asked Babs from the corner, where she was reorganizing her bookshelves after acquiring several more volumes.

“Yes.” She flopped onto the sofa, swinging her legs over the armrest. “Speculating on Adelia Elliot and my presentations and guessing who is going to marry who–the usual gossip,” she waved a hand in Babs’s direction. “She did end on a rather tongue-in-cheek note, though. Perhaps the lady is not as satisfied with society as I first thought.”

“Time will tell,” said Babs, unknowingly echoing the words of whom she was speaking. 

Reversing the direction of her wheelchair, she steered over to the desk Steph had left the paper on. She looked over the pamphlet briefly before returning her attention to her friend.

“This reminds me, which dress are you planning on wearing to Damian’s recital tonight?”

“The green one, I was thinking.”

Babs sighed as she caught sight of Lady Gotham’s penultimate line. “Imagine you marrying one of Bruce’s sons.”

Steph snorted indelicately. “Damian is too young, even if he does have something of an eye for me, you’ve married Grayson, and Drake and I would never work out.” She shivered at the thought. 

“I suppose I’d get along decently with Thomas, but he’s also rather young. I really don’t know what the writer was implying with her thinly veiled speculations. And she says we use our weaponized words!”

“Just ignore the gossips like you always do, Steph,” advised Babs. “And sit properly, please.”

“Because it’s that easy,” she rolled her eyes, moving to a more acceptable pose. “I admit I find myself quite intrigued as to this evening’s happenings. If Lady Gotham is among us, will she attempt to stir up the theatrics among the ton?”

~~~

A grunt escaped Jason as he turned, letting the punch roll off him. It still hurt, despite knowing how to take hits. His opponent danced back, bringing his fists back up into a guard position. 

Jason moved back, luring his opponent over, before releasing a series of quick jabs and punches that forced his opponent to concede defeat. 

“Alright, I get it, you’re stressed about your debut. What’s the matter, worried that you might not have any ladies dropping their handkerchiefs around you?”

Jason snorted, climbing out of the ring to get his towel. “You know I’m not looking for a lady yet.”

Waylon raised a disbelieving eyebrow at him. “You’re going to need a lady sooner or later.”

“Well, I choose later.” Jason yanked his cravat into a passable knot. “I’m worried that the family that’s practically Gotham’s royalty is going to dig into this mysterious new Duke of Altheban and destroy my plans before I’ve even had a chance to start.” He straightened his jacket and tapped his pockets to make sure everything was still there.

“I’ll see you later, Jones.”

“Enjoy the party, Todd–I mean Head.”

Jason waved his hand, not looking, as he headed out of the boxing centre.

~~~

In the velvet darkness of Gotham past 7 p.m, Wayne Manor presented a glittering vision as its lights reflected off the multitudinous baubles out on display for the soiree. Gilded and not-so-gilded carriages flowed from the portico to the stables in orderly succession.

Nimble fingers tripped lightheartedly over pianoforte keys as the star of the night, the newly-returned Damian Wayne, displayed his polished skills in a rousing performance.

“Ah, Head, there you are, my fine fellow!” 

Jason nodded politely as an enthusiastic Roy Harper dragged him over to the group of young men congregated close to the doors of the formal parlor. “Gentlemen, this is my good friend Head, the Duke of Altheban. Head, these are my friends. This rogue is Aleksander, Lord Duma, and here is…”

Jason tipped his head shortly. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance, gentlemen.”

Babs stopped her wheelchair abruptly, causing Steph to bang her knee on the back. “Ow, Babs-”

“Look, Steph, I am perfectly capable of getting myself to the parlour without your assistance. I will be fine for the entire evening, in fact! You should not worry about me and instead fill your dance card–with names that are not a part of the hosting family’s roster.”

Steph sniffed. “Fine, I will dance with one person who is not a Wayne or Wayne-adjacent. One .”

Babs sighed. “Thank you. If you see Dick before I do, could you direct him my way? Thank you.”

“Alright. Have fun, Babs.”

“I will,” Babs smirked, wheeling herself into the festivities and parking her chair in the best spot to get all the gossip.

Steph looked longingly at the refreshments table, then headed resolutely in the other direction, promptly bumping into a masculine chest. Her handkerchief fluttered to her feet, jarred loose from where it had been tucked into her glove by the impact. 

“Oh, my apologies, I did not see you there, My Lord.”

He nodded stiffly, bending to collect her handkerchief. He rose and handed it to her, making sure their fingers did not brush. “It’s quite alright, it’s getting rather crowded in here. My fault, I’m sure.”

“No, no, that was my fault. I was caught in the sorrow of leaving those delicious-looking tarts behind me and did not see you for the tears in my eyes. Hence, the handkerchief,” she dabbed at her eyes dramatically.

The man’s stiff posture relaxed a little at her good-natured theatrics, his lips quirking up in what some may describe as a small smile. (Steph personally described it as the look of a hunted man relieved to find she was not his hunter–or huntress, as the case may be.) “May I escort you to those delicious-looking tarts, then? I hate to see a lady cry, especially when it can be easily remedied.”

“Thank you, that would be delightful. It’s not rude to eat a dozen of the things if a gentleman brought me one a dozen times, correct, My Lord?”

“Indeed, it would be far more rude to refuse his devoted attentions.”

“Lovely,” chirped Steph, taking his arm. “I do think it would be awful if Lady Gotham reported me rude in her next issue. I must take care to avoid all pretenses of the word.”

The man–whose name Steph still didn’t know, and also had never seen before, and did not know who could properly introduce them–poured two crystal cups of punch. “Would you care for some, my lady?”

“Thank you. The tarts are delicious but they do leave one thirsty.”

“Ah, Miss Brown.”

Steph turned to see Lord Duma approaching her, a polite but fixed smile on his face. 

“Lord Duma,” she half-curtsied. “How are you this evening?”

“I am doing well, Miss Brown. I see you have met the ton’s latest import. Duke Altheban,” he nodded his head.

Steph cursed inwardly at her earlier social faux pas. To be fair, the only other dukes at this event she was already acquainted with, and she certainly didn’t expect this man to have a title that required a different address than ‘my lord’.

The man nodded back. “Lord Duma.”

“Ah, His Grace was just procuring me some punch, like a gentleman, before I fainted of thirst. We haven’t even been formally introduced.” 

Hopefully the Duke would forgive her slip and have mercy on her unnoble self, now that he knew she was unaware of his status. To be fair, he had not seemed the type to be overly cognizant of his title–much like the Waynes, she supposed. A refreshing attitude, indeed.

Lord Duma took her hint. 

“Oh, I must introduce you, then. Miss Brown, this is Jason Head, the Duke of Altheban; Your Grace, Miss Stephanie Brown.”

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Brown.” Duke Altheban bowed over her hand. “So, Lord Duma, are you tired of Harper’s stories so soon?”

He laughed. “Once you’ve been here a season or two, you’ll have heard all of Harper's stories. Besides, I heard that the young Wayne is finishing his performance soon and that the musicians would soon start the dancing. I had to make sure I reserved a spot on Miss Brown’s dance card.”

Steph smiled politely back at him. “Thank you, Lord Duma. Your forethought has indeed awarded you a chance to put your name on my dance card.”

“I would like to also reserve a spot, if I may, Miss Brown.”

Steph turned to the Duke, somewhat surprised. It wasn’t uncommon for lords to take interest in courting untitled young ladies, but dukes were considerably higher ranked than lords and rarely courted or married outside of their titles. 

How interesting. She’d enjoy getting to know more about him as long as he let her.

“As you wish, Your Grace.”

~~~

Lord Duma was a fine dancer, and Steph enjoyed their turn around the room, but dancing with Duke Head was something else entirely. They fit together perfectly, in such synchronization that they seemed to be floating over the dancefloor.

“You are a wonderful dancer, Your Grace.”

“A dancer is only as good as their partner, I’ve been told.”

Steph smiled, mentally recording the feel of his large hands over hers, the faint smoky scent of his cologne, the soft swish of air as it flowed over her exposed skin. Dancing had always been a passion of hers, but it was difficult to find partners with whom she connected so well.

“What you were saying earlier, about a Lady Gotham,” said the Duke. “I did not know there was such a title here.”

Steph answered his unasked question. “Lady Gotham is a pseudonym for some author who has recently begun to write about society’s banalities and scandals. The ton is quite invested in both the papers she prints and the mask she wears. No one knows who it is, and so far it is one of the season’s biggest topics of conversation.”

“Ah. Thank you for explaining, Miss Brown.”

“It is quite alright with me if you address me as Miss Stephanie or Miss Steph, Your Grace.”

“As you wish, Miss Stephanie. You seem rather…how shall I put this…distant from society. Aside from Lord Duma and myself, you have not danced or talked with any acquaintances.”

Steph laughed. “I am not well acquainted with most of the ton, Your Grace. I am a miss, not a lady, and I am not in the habit of associating with double-faced, backstabbing socialites. I prefer intelligent conversation, even if I am here to find a husband, but it truly seems like the two are mutually exclusive.”

He barked a short laugh, pulling her infinitesimally closer. “It does seem that you are either doomed to marry or become a book-loving spinster, does it not? As if you cannot marry and love books, or be unmarried and detest the things.”

“Indeed. My sponsor for the season is happily married, and she has one of the largest libraries I have seen.” 

She twirled, coming back to the duke’s arms. 

“I suppose I am simply setting my sights too high. She had a better beginning than I, and she already was acquainted with her husband; their families have always been friendly. And that is not in the cards for me. If I must marry for my family’s sake, then I will have to set aside dreams of love and books and loving books. Such is the way of life,” she mused sadly.

Duke Altheban twirled her again. “Surely someone here also loves books, at least? They are lords and barons, they have to have studied. Speaking purely hypothetically, what about the Duke of Bristol?”

“Tim?” Steph laughed. “No, it would never work between us, for many reasons.”

“Oh, you’ve met?”

“A time or two,” she grinned. The last strains of the music faded away, and the sudden rush of chatter from the dancers surrounding them made talking difficult.

“Time for another tart, perhaps, Miss Stephanie?” asked the duke, leading her over to the quieter refreshment table. 

“If you offer it to me, I’d hate to refuse, Your Grace-ooh, waffles!”

“I take it you like the pastries?”

“Very much. The chef here always makes the best cream to eat with them.” Steph groaned as the treat hit her taste buds.

The duke followed her lead of spooning the cream onto the waffle bite and eating it. “That is quite good. Oh, hello, Harper.”

“Stephanie,” nodded Roy, turning back to the duke. “You really must come with me now, Jason. You’re finally here and we can fulfill all those adventures we spoke about on our European trip!”

“Very well. Miss Stephanie.” He kissed her fingers in farewell.

Her fingers tingled from the press of his lips the rest of the night. 

~~~

“That was fast,” laughed Waylon the next week after Jason ended their spar.

Jason glared at him from under the fringe of his hair. “You can shove whatever else you want to say right up your-”

“Did you see what Lady Gotham wrote about you?” interrupted his friend/investee.

“No, what?” he grumbled, curiosity piqued.

Waylon pulled out the paper and balanced his spectacles on his nose. 

Clearing his throat, he read eloquently, “‘ There is nothing the ton likes more than talking about themselves, unless it is talking about others. 

‘The most common question heard at the Waynes’ soiree was ‘Who is the Duke of Altheban’? He was certainly well-acquainted with several of the lords of this fair city, but no one–except myself–knows more than these three facts: firstly, the duke has spent the last several years traveling the continent and making connections for his merchant business. 

‘Secondly, he originally hails from the land of Nanda Parbat, where his dukedom is located. 

‘Thirdly, he is a most desirable catch, being young, rich, and single, of which only one of these attributes society truly considers necessary. He is also reportedly an excellent dancer, although sparing with his partners.

‘But, fourthly, the duke is looking for something in particular from this season and this society. Could it be a wife? A new business partner? Whatever it is, this author is sure that we all are eager to learn more’ .”

Jason dropped his head into his hands in frustration. He’d forgotten just how vicious society’s gossip was. Whichever event he next attended, he was surely going to be flocked even more than he’d been at the soiree.

And he was back to his problem. Miss Stephanie Brown. A poor young socialite who was looking for a husband, all details which should have made him flee instead of being drawn to her. Yet she had been a breath of fresh air. Even after she learned of his status, she did not change her behaviour, and had given him the most pleasant conversation with a woman who was not married or related to him he’d had in…ever. She’d openly admitted she was looking for a moneyed husband, which he could not blame her for, and clearly cared for her family, considering what she was willing to give up for them.

She clearly had more dimensions to her than most of the other young ladies had dresses, and he desperately wanted to explore more of them. 

“-son!”

“Hm?”

“Wow, you have it bad.” Waylon shook his head in mock sympathy. “What’s the lady’s name?”

“Ste-what young lady?”

Waylon looked at him, unimpressed. “The one you’re thinking about and can’t stop thinking about. I’d like to meet this woman who’s managed to make you reconsider your stance on marriage this fast.”

“I’m not reconsi-” Jason paused, realisation washing over him, and swore violently.

Waylon patted him on the shoulder and laughed, the traitor.

“I’m not marrying her!” he yelled after the boxer.

He laughed louder.

~~~

Steph knew that she was being impractical, but didn’t particularly care. She’d have to live with her practicability soon enough, she was going to take this moment while she could to daydream.

The babblings of a baby roused her from her thoughts of dancing with Duke Altheban, and she peeked into Emma’s carriage.

“Hello, darling. Have you woken up from your nap, sweetie? I knew the fresh air would be good for you, and look at that! You’ve finally slept longer than an hour!” She cooed to the baby, turning the carriage to head home. “Yes, I imagine you’ll be hungry rather soon, I’ll get you back, never fear.”

The afternoon stroll in the sunlight had done both Emma and Steph good, the fresh air giving them both an appetite. Once Steph had gotten Emma fed and back in her crib, she started making the evening meal, feeling the beginning pangs of hunger in her stomach as well.

The door opened just as she’d finished setting the table and she greeted the arrival with a small smile. “Good evening. Emma’s been walked and fed and is now asleep, and supper is ready. Wash up and I’ll have it on the table.”

“Thanks, Steph.”

~~~

Jason looked around the Crowns’ ballroom for a familiar head of blonde curls but found nothing. So far his sudden appearance on the ton’s scene hadn’t caused any major questions of his identity; even the Waynes were quiet, though he knew better than to dismiss them simply because he didn’t see evidence of their activities. 

Dick walked in, Babs wheeling herself beside him, nodding politely to acquaintances as they passed. And there, just behind the couple, was Stephanie Brown.

That would explain Stephanie’s familiarity with the Waynes, if Babs was her sponsor, as Jason gathered from what she had shared. He laughed inwardly at the thought of Tim’s immersive nerdiness and Stephanie’s bubbly interests meshing. No wonder she’d laughed when he’d half-jokingly suggested Tim as a solution to her marriage problem.

Jason tapped the side of his glass thoughtfully as he subconsciously tracked her circle around the room.

She needed a husband, and he was going to find her one. He didn’t want to marry, but he could find her someone. She was only somewhat younger than him, which in society’s eyes was fairly old for a debutante–though not for a man, who was always eligible and never shelved with a derogatory title, Lady Gotham had noted a day or two earlier.

She needed a man older than her, which removed several of the more juvenile options, and one who was respectful of women, which sadly removed even more. 

He thought back to what else she had said. Stephanie was looking for money, someone to support her family. He supposed he should figure out just how large her family was first and how much her future husband should expect to pay up, first. 

The best way to find out such information was by asking the woman in question, of course. Jason approached the woman in the lavender gown, holding out his hand in silent question. She turned, sensing him, and accepted with a wide smile.

They moved swiftly onto the floor in time with the quartet, settling into a comfortable rhythm. 

“How have you been, Your Grace?”

“Well, thank you. How have you been, Miss Stephanie?”

“Oh, rather well. I visited a friend yesterday and had a lovely walk in the sun. It seems rather rare for this city, doesn’t it?”

“Indeed, it’s rather a gloomy place. Do you enjoy nature?” 

She moved to another man, then back to him in turn.

“Oh, definitely. Although I must admit, I quite enjoy the comforts of home, meagre as they may be, when there is a blizzard raging outside. My fondness for it does not extend quite so far.”

Jason chuckled. “I can’t blame you for that; I rather agree with you there. Is that your mother?” he nodded towards an older lady with blonde hair curled similar to Stephanie’s.

She smiled slightly. “No, that is Lady Aurora. My mother would never be invited to such an event–I’m only here because the Duchess of Bludhaven is sponsoring me. My mother is a nurse in the Bowery.”

The Bowery. The polite name for the red light district, known for its crime and pleasure houses. A place Jason was intimately familiar with, much against his desire.

“A nurse, how noble of her. It’s hard work, I imagine.” He gently spun her into a twirl.

Stephanie seemed grateful, knowing he knew exactly where the Bowery was but hadn’t let on that he did. “Yes, it is, but she is good at it. I’m proud of her.”

“Do you have any siblings?”

Nothing like asking point-blank–in Jason’s experience, pointed questions yielded the clearest results, since there was nothing to be confused or semantical about.

“No, I’m an only child. My father is… was an entertainer, but he got injured some time ago and is now recovering at home.”

Ah, that was why she needed the marriage. He could read between the lines easily enough. Well, only having parents-in-law to support would be easy enough to sell to a prospective suitor, he supposed. It certainly beat having a dozen siblings to also support.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Miss Stephanie. My father was also injured before he died, and my mother had consumption. It was heartbreaking to see. I wish your father the best.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Your Grace. I shall pass on your wishes to my father. Thank you.” She curtsied and stepped away, clearly ending the conversation.

Jason wished to speak with her more, but he had the information he had wanted.

Surely there wouldn’t be more than one Brown family in the Bowery comprised of a nurse and entertainer.

~~~

Steph cuddled Emma in her arms, cooing at the baby’s chubby cheeks. “You’re adorable, yes you are. The sweetest baby I ever saw.”

Dancing around the room with the baby, making her giggle with high-pitched laughter, lightened the weight on her mind. Nothing else mattered when she was with Emma. 

A man passing by the window had a build and hair similar to Duke Altheban, reminding her of the times they had danced together at the past several events.

“I wish he was courting me, but I know he’s not looking for a bride. And even if he was, it certainly wouldn’t be someone like me,” she told the child pulling at her dress’s neckline. “I mean, look at me,” she laughed.

“But he’s such a gentleman, Emmy. He’s considerate and funny and smart and well-read and respectful and attentive and handsome and such a good dancer–not like Lord Mayburn–and he’s traveled and he speaks seven languages, he told me. Seven, Emma!” She exclaimed to the non-responsive child. “I only know English and passable French, and a few words in Latin and Spanish. And it doesn’t hurt that he’s a duke and a successful merchant. He’s the perfect man, Emma…but not for me. But, if I can even keep him as a friend, that would be worth it.

“Do you think it would be strange if I asked him for his opinion on some of the men I’m thinking of flirting with to get them to court me? I wouldn’t want to make him think I’m hinting at him courting me–I’m sure he’s tired of women throwing themselves at him…literally, like Eugenia Sorren,” she shuddered at the memory. 

“But men talk differently around women they’re courting than other men, and maybe the duke would know something that I don’t that could help me with my decision. If I’m going to marry for money and not love, I should at least make sure it’s to a decent man I can be friends with, right? Friendship is the foundation for love, or so Babs says. Yes, I should ask him, but clarify it first so that he knows I’m not suggesting anything,” she decided, nodding her head. “Good chat, Emma. Thank you for your insightful contribution.”

The baby spat up on her dress in response.

~~~

Jason pulled at the button on his glove’s wrist as he stood outside the weathered door opening onto the dirt street. He hoped Stephanie wouldn’t be too piqued with him if she discovered he’d done this.

A woman who looked much like an older Stephanie, only with brown hair and green eyes instead of Stephanie’s blonde and blue, answered the door. Her eyes trailed from his freshly-shined boots up to the crisp knot of his cravat, and slowly widened as she took him in.

“May I help you, My Lord?”

“Are you Mrs. Brown, ma’am?”

“Yes, I am.” She eyed him warily now. Rich folks looking for you was never a good sign, he was well aware.

“Is your husband in?”

“Yes.”

“Is now a good time to speak with you, then? I can return later if it’s more convenient, but I’d like to speak with you and your husband.”

“Now is as good a time as any, My Lord,” she replied, ushering him into the house and taking his hat. “May I take your coat and gloves?”

“Thank you.”

She showed him to the dated front room, where a man sat in a cushioned chair, reading the paper. 

“Arthur, we have a visitor. I’ll go put on the tea while you talk to…” she looked to him for help.

“Jason Head. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr Brown, Mrs Brown.”

Mrs Brown nodded at his polite introduction and headed to what he assumed was the kitchen, leaving him alone with her husband.

“So, what brings you to my humble home this afternoon, Mr Head?” asked the man gruffly, setting the paper aside.

“I understand you have a daughter?”

“Yes, Stephanie.”

“I’ve made her acquaintance recently, and her telling me about her family prodded me to pay you a visit.”

“Whatever for?” asked the man, finally gesturing for him to sit down.

Jason hemmed and hawed for a minute, trying to figure out the most tactful way to phrase it. Talia was always telling him to polish his blunt, sometimes borderline impolite, honesty.

“I wanted to meet the folks that would make a lady like that…” he trailed off, suddenly rethinking his whole endeavour. What was he doing? Meeting the parents of the woman he was trying to find a bridegroom for so he wouldn’t be forced to confront his own feelings for her?

Mrs Brown came bustling into the room a moment later, a steaming pot of tea on the tray in her hands, alongside a plate of baked goods.

He jumped up, taking the tray from her and setting it on the table before heading to the hallway to retrieve his things. “I apologize for disrupting your afternoon. I’m sorry, I’ve just started to feel unwell,  I must leave. Good day Mr Brown, Mrs Brown.”

Tipping his hat at the confused couple, he practically ran to his horse, swinging onto Jericho’s saddle carelessly.

Kicking Jericho into a trot, he made his escape. From behind him, he thought he heard a confused “Your Grace?” being called after him.

He nudged Jericho even faster, heading to the fields in an attempt to outrun his feelings.

~~~

Stephanie ran up the steps to her house, surprised to see her mother in the doorway already. 

“Was that the Duke of Altheban I saw riding by just now?” she demanded incredulously.

“Who?”

“Oh, nevermind. Thought I saw someone I knew. How was your day, Mama?”

“It was good,” Crystal Brown said, closing the door after her daughter. “I was just saying goodbye to this visitor who dropped by unannounced.”

“Hello, Papa.  What’s this I hear about a visitor?” Steph took in the tea tray on the table, pouring three cups. “You even brought out the china,” she noted with surprise.

“He looked important, that Mr Head,” explained her mother.

Steph choked on her tea. “Your visitor said he was Jason Head?!”

“That’s right. How do you know his first name?” asked Arthur suspiciously.

“What was he here for?!”

“I couldn’t really say. He only stayed a couple minutes. Didn’t even have a cup of tea! Said he was feeling ill suddenly–I didn’t even get the chance to say I’m a nurse.”

“He said he wanted to meet the folks of a lady he’d met–you,” said Arthur. “Would you like to explain why we got this surprise visitor?”

“I’d love to explain that but I don’t have a clue, myself,” sputtered Steph. “I never even gave him your address or names.”

“Is he courting you, Steph?” asked her mother.

“No. We’re…friends, I guess. We dance at parties and talk over punch but that’s it. He’s not looking for a wife, and even if he was, he wouldn’t look at me. Foreign dukes don’t marry untitled old maids from the red light district with-”

“Steph, don’t say that about yourself, honey.” Crystal pulled her into her arms. “You’re a catch for any-did you say he’s a duke?”

Steph nodded. “Lady Gotham says he’s close with the royal family of Nanda Parbat, that’s how he became duke there.”

“A duke in my home! I never thought I’d see the day!”

~~~

Jason cut the connection to Talia’s two-way magical communication stone and sighed. She’d helped him through facing his feelings for Steph (she was much better at that than Waylon), and now he had a directive.

Back to the Browns’ it was.

She was at a friend’s house for the afternoon, but she had accepted an invitation to the Dumas’ ball that evening.

Jason thanked Crystal for her help and headed back to Jericho. The day was sunny but not too warm, so he decided to enjoy the fresh air a little longer and plot out what he would say when he saw her.

For a moment, he thought he was so invested that he was imagining seeing her, but no, there she was in all her glory, walking down the street…pushing a baby pram.

“Miss Stephanie!”

She glanced around, then up, surprise covering her face. “Your Grace?”

“May I join you?”

Her eyes flicked from the pram to Jericho to him, then she nodded slowly.

He slid out of the saddle and strolled beside her, leading Jericho along the edge of the street, such as it was.

“What are you doing here?”

“I…was just out for a ride after I visited your parents. I wished to speak with you, but you were out. This was pure coincidence.”

“It’s a lovely day for a ride,” she agreed, subdued.

“Are you alright? Not overcome with heat?” Jason bit back any more comments, recalling that women did not take the concern as such.

“I am fine, thank you.” She glanced in the pram, then back to him. “Not going to ask?”

“I didn’t think it was my business to ask.”

“This is my best friend’s baby, Emma. Sarah died in childbirth.” She turned to him. “Not a happy or comfortable story, I’m sure. Her father is working, so I often take care of her.”

“Who cares for her when you are busy?”

“One of the neighbours usually looks in on her. She’s a very easy baby,” Steph smiled, cooing at the child.

“How old is she?”

“About eight months.”

“You like children, then?” he asked, very much hoping she did.

“I do. What about you?”

“I love them, and they tend to like me, I find.”

Steph turned to a small house and opened the door. “I’ve just got to feed Emma and put her down for her nap. Would you like to wait in the parlour?”

“If it’s not an imposition. I can-”

“No, no trouble at all. Her father should be home soon and we can talk while you escort me home, if you don’t mind?”

“That sounds delightful, Miss Stephanie.” He tossed Jericho’s reins to a boy standing around. “Want a job?”

“Yes, mister,” he nodded, gap-toothed grin wide.

“If you make sure my horse here doesn’t run away in the next while, I’ll give you two more of these, what d’ya say?” He placed a shiny coin in the boy’s hand, smiling at his awed grin and ruffling his hair. “I shouldn’t be more than an hour.”

Jason made himself comfortable on the sofa in the parlour, watching Steph move around the kitchen heating up milk for Emma with smooth, oft-practiced movements. The house was small, with one hallway connecting the foyer, kitchen/dining room, parlour, and bedroom. With all the inside doors open, Jason perused the house at his leisure, often pausing to watch Steph instead.

She fed the baby, burped her, and put her to rest in the bedroom. 

The faint sound of a lullaby drifted to Jason’s ears, and he closed his eyes to focus better on her song. She had a lovely voice.

Once Emma was asleep, Steph closed the door and joined him in the parlour. “I often leave supper for Emma’s father. Would you mind joining me in the kitchen while I prepare it?”

“Certainly not. Would you like my help with anything? Fetching wood for the fire, perhaps?”

“Oh, no, that’s not necessary.”

Steph deftly spun a cast-iron skillet on her palm and Jason noted to be very careful around her, especially when she had a possible weapon in her hands.

“So, how did you find my parents, Your Grace?” she asked, slicing potatoes. 

“I asked around. I have some contacts in every part of the city, I imagine, and I knew yours were in the Bowery.”

“Then, why did you find my parents?”

“I wanted to meet the people you loved enough to give up your own love for.”

Steph’s knife paused, then resumed its slicing, slower than before. “And that’s all?”

“That’s the meat of it.”

She turned to the stove, her back to him,  tossing the potatoes in with a healthy chunk of lard.

Jason had just begun to worry she’d decided never to speak to him again when she turned, shaking the potatoes onto a plate before immediately turning back around to cut something up..

“I suppose it’s none of my business. Thank you for waiting for me.”

“You’re more than welcome.” He resumed his seat on the sofa, glancing out the window at the sun setting on the horizon. Someone walking up the path caught his eye.

“There’s a man approaching,” he called to Steph.

“That’ll be Dean; I’ll be ready to go in a minute.”

Jason heard the door open, the sounds of someone coming in and making themself at home quiet. The man walked straight into the kitchen.

Steph greeted him cheerfully. “Good evening, Dean. Supper is warm in the oven, and Emma’s sleeping. I’ll be out of your hair in a moment.”

“Thanks, Steph, it smells good. But what if you don’t get out of my hair?”

Jason stiffened at the tone. He didn’t like how familiar this Dean was being to Steph, but he chalked it up to mere jealousy. The sight of Dean grasping Steph’s wrist, however, was something more than jealousy.

Steph saw him stand and silently asked him to stay back. He nodded, acquiescing for the moment, but stayed standing.

“What do you mean, Dean? It wouldn’t be prope-”

“Oh, come on, Steph, who cares what’s proper? Proper is for the snobs. You and I both know that no matter how much you end up in those society papers, you’ll never be a real lady. You’re from here, Stephie, you know no one gives a damn about us. No one would care about us and our ‘property’.”

Propriety , Steph mouthed to herself. “Dean, let go of me. You’re not doing yourself any favours by disparaging my ladylike reputation.”

“Oh look at you, Miss Brown,” Dean mocked, “all snooty with your fancy words. You think you’re better than me, huh? Just ‘cause your Duchess got your back? You think you’re better than Sarah was?”

“No, I do not. Sarah was better than me and she was certainly better than you. Social status has no bearing on a true gentleman, Dean. For the final time, I will not sleep with you, nor will I marry you so you can sleep with me.” Steph pulled her knife from behind her back and held it to Dean’s chin, leaning into his personal space. “Let. Me. Go. Now.”

Shakily, the man released his grip, practically flinging her away from him. “You crazy whore!”

“And never call me that again.” Steph tossed the knife at his chair, the point embedding itself in the wood between Dean’s legs. 

She brushed her loosened locks out of her face, straightened her dress, and approached Jason with a smile. “I’m ready to go.”

He grabbed her hat and cloak and escorted her as quickly as he could out of the residence.

“Are you okay, Miss Stephanie?”

The cool twilight air was refreshing, cooling his overheated blood from watching the altercation. He walked calmly beside Jericho, collected from the kid and given double the pay since the time had extended. 

She nodded and gave him a small, fake smile. “I will be. His words don’t hold much weight, but even a single sheet of paper can cause you to bleed.”

“You handled yourself remarkably back there. If I may ask, how did you learn to throw a knife that accurately?”

“My father worked as an entertainer at the circus for several years,” she explained. “I became friends with many of the performers there and during the quiet times, many of them taught me their specialties. I had an affinity for the knife tricks and acrobatics, among others.”

“A woman of many talents, indeed,” he complimented with a surprised grin. “Is it safe to leave Emma there?”

“She will be fine for the short term. I’ll go get her and her things in a day or two once he’s calmed down and bring her home.”

“Would you like an escort?” He saw her look and hastily added, “In case there is more luggage than you can carry when you’ve also got the baby?”

“If you wouldn’t mind, that would be very helpful. Thank you.”

“I live to serve, my lady.”

~~~

The next week, Jason barely saw Stephanie at all, as she was occupied with caring for Emma and getting her settled into her new home. She had turned down several invitations, and Jason began to wonder if he should even bother attending the last few events of the season at all.

Then Steph showed up at the Waynes’ Summer Celebration Ball, the event that heralded the beginning of the season’s end.

She looked beautiful in her new lilac dress, the blooms entwined in her updo. Jason bet Babs had a hand in that.

She was popular tonight, and Jason didn’t get a chance to dance with her or even talk before her card filled up and she was handed around.

Doing his best not to lose his temper at something so beyond their control, he headed out the open patio doors to the garden, enjoying the quiet from the boisterous event and the beauty of nature. He still preferred it on Stephanie.

He didn’t know how long he’d been brooding in the gardens (far too long and far too much like his previous father figure for his liking) when he noticed a flash of lilac in the maze.

“Miss Stephanie?” He followed her, only catching glimpses of the silk as he headed deeper and deeper into the maze.

As he walked, the layout came back to him. He could see the path Steph had been taking, and he knew a shortcut. Granted, he’d grown both in height and width, but he’d been very careful not to lose his flexibility along with his scrawniness. If he just cut through…

His arms came out, supporting Steph as she ran into him with a muffled shriek.

“I apologise for scaring you, Miss Stephanie. Are you quite alright?”

“No,” she panted. “Dean…after me…”

“What?” His head jerked up, looking around for the odious man.

“He was following me, I tried to lose him, thought you were him,” she breathed, not moving away from his hold.

“I’ll have Wayne’s men spread out and look for the man, okay?” he said, brushing a loose curl behind her ear.

She nodded, smiling up at him gratefully, before suddenly realising their position and jumping away. “Oh, my.”

“My apologies, Miss Stephanie. I’ll escort you back to the ballroom and then find Wayne.”

He tucked her arm into his and headed down the quickest way out of the maze.

“You seem to know this maze quite well, Your Grace.”

He shrugged. “I’m good with directions.”

~~~

Jason did not call Wayne’s men. Jason headed out to the grounds alone..

Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply, letting the velvety scent of Alfred’s roses, the mingled perfumes of the party, and the rich scent of damp earth fill his nose.

The hoot of an owl sounded deep in the woods behind the Manor, blending with the chittering of bats flying about eating bugs and the muted strains of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony from the ballroom. 

Light tremors under his feet told him that someone was approaching him. He inwardly snickered. Trying to be stealthy, the fool. He was trained by the League of Assassins, who lived–nay, thrived–in the shadows.

He turned, unable to see his companion’s face as they were backlit by the Manor. “Is that you, Harper?” he drawled, striking a match and lighting a cigar.

He didn’t care for the things after…well, after , but sometimes a man needed a cigar to light to see his companion’s face.

“You’re not Harper,” he said brilliantly, lifting the cigar to his lips.

“You bet your lily-white ass I ain’t,” snarled Dean Smith, the glow of Jason’s cigar reflecting on the silver blade of his knife. 

“No, you’re Dean Smith, widower of Sarah Smith and father to Emma Smith, employee at the My Alibi saloon, where you apparently take supporting your job a little too seriously. You’re also someone who insulted the woman I intend to marry, and I don’t take that lightly. She’s too good for you to even look at her, nevermind propose you touch her.”

“Oh, what are you going to do, my lord?” Dean bowed mockingly. “I saw you at my house with her. So she’s too good for me, but not too good to take your lordly c-”

Jason punched his lights out in one blow. Apparently Waylon might have some truth to his words of having a thicker skull than average.

He put out his cigar and pocketed the knife Dean had dropped. Sauntering up the hill to the ballroom, he caught one of Bruce’s footmen’s attention. 

“There’s an uninvited guest having a little snooze out in the garden. Bring him to the Commisioner, please, and tell him to hold him overnight for disturbing the peace. Thanks.”

Humming the final bars to the Symphony along with the musicians, he opened the patio doors and entered the ballroom.

The chatter died instantly as everyone turned to look at him. He looked back in confusion. He was sure no one had seen him punch Dean, and anyways, he was a duke and Dean a commoner. No one here would care, he sneered inwardly.

Steph’s watery blue eyes met his from her place in Babs’s arms and she shook her head minutely. He frowned a little, confused. He knew she hadn’t seen him punch Dean out, and he was fairly sure she’d praise him for it, anyways.

He missed the punch thrown his way by a blur of black and blue.

~~~

Steph rubbed her thumb nervously over Jason’s, his hand between hers. His eyelids fluttered and his gorgeous teal eyes stared into hers. “Hi.”

“Hi.” She smiled back. “You’re awake.”

“What happened?” He sat up, running his free hand along his facial features. “ Ow .”

She winced in sympathy. “Sorry about that.”

“You did this?” He turned to her in disbelief. “Did I do something?”

“Did you do something?” came an echoing growl of disbelief from the doorway.

Steph winced again. “Dick, stop .”

“No, I will not.”

“ Dick . Let me explain. In peace ,” she gritted out. “It’s the least you could do after punching His Grace out and making a big deal out of nothing !”

Dick huffed and opened his mouth to retort, but subsided at her fierce glare. 

She turned back to Jason.

“I am so sorry for him. What happened was that Lady Adelia Elliot was getting proposed to by Lord Duma in the garden and saw me, alone with you, in the garden, and then loudly announced that the garden was the most lovely, romantic spot to get engaged in, and she hoped we had found it to be like that as well, which, of course, meant that society is convinced that I am compromised and a whore and we should get married to get back in their good graces. But not too fast, because that would mean I’m with child. Which is ridiculous, I mean, in the garden ? All wet and pokey? No, thank you.”

Jason huffed a laugh. “Thank you for that explanation. So I assume that blur that was the last thing I saw was Duke Bludhaven over there protecting your honour?”

“More or less,” she admitted. “I am so sorry for this mess.”

“Nonsense, it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have followed you knowing what society would think of it. I’m sorry for putting you in this situation. As a man, my reputation is much less delicate than yours, and I sincerely apologize.”

Dick snorted from his doorway, the heavily implied ‘you should be’ hanging in the air.

“Steph, can you give me a minute with His Grace?”

She sighed but nodded, removing her hand from Jason's. “You get one free punch,” she stage-whispered as she left, leaving him with a smile on his face.

It was the least she could do after being part of the cause of this fiasco.

~~~

“What happened out in the garden?” Dick demanded immediately, taking Steph’s chair as soon as she was gone.

Jason straightened his position on his chair in response. How do you like being the little brother now, huh?

“I was outside, enjoying the fresh air in the gardens, when I noticed Miss Brown entering the maze. I followed her, as I had been intending to speak with her this evening. When I found her, she told me a man she knows had been following her. I escorted her back to the courtyard. I stayed out longer for a cigar and saw a commoner with a knife. He threatened me and insulted her, so I punched him and had one of Wayne’s men take him to your father-in-law.”

Dick stared at him, measuring his words.

“Are you interested in courting Stephanie?”

“I was attempting to get her attention tonight to talk to her about that. I would like nothing more than to court Stephanie Brown with the intention of marriage.”

Dick nodded once. “Good. Your timeline is moved up; you will marry her once the banns are read.”

“If she says no?” Jason asked curiously.

Dick sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “She won’t.”

Jason raised his eyebrow but dropped the subject. Nodding curtly to Dick, he exited the small study he’d been sat in while he was unconscious.

Alone, he ran his hand over his nose and jaw once more. Thank goodness for Lazarus-enhanced healing; he could feel the bruises already beginning to fade. With a sigh he dropped his head to inspect his boots.

How was he going to break the news to his lovely bride-to-be?

~~~

Dearest gentle Reader, 

Nothing is more sought-after by society than a scandal, which is the lemon to our tea, the butter to our bread, and the very reason I picked up my quill.

I have picked it up once more to inform you all of the latest scandal, which has set the whole ton abuzz.

The Waynes’ annual Summer Celebration Ball last night was a veritable goldmine of news. Lady Adelia Elliot is engaged to be married to Lord Aleksander Duma, a fine match indeed. 

But the true scandal comes from the revelation Lady Adelia shared with the ton as she announced her engagement, namely, that Miss Stephanie Brown and the Duke of Altheban were seen in the garden together, unchaperoned.

Rumours have been shared with many that the protegee of the Duchess of Bludhaven has borne a child out of wedlock, with sources saying they have seen her with an infant many times.

Thus, it is to my surprise that I share with you the news of the Duke’s engagement to Miss Brown. Perhaps he has not been so recently appeared in our midst as he would have us believe?

Steph threw the paper across the room. A hand caught it in its fluttering descent. She turned in surprise. “Your Grace?”

“Good afternoon, Miss Brown,” he bowed over her hand politely, then turned back to peruse the paper.

“Please, don’t-”

“I already know what they are saying, Miss Stephanie. It appears even being a man and a duke does only so much for my reputation.”

She winced.

“I wonder if I accidentally slighted this Lady Gotham somehow? She certainly does not pull her punches,” he shook his head.

“I am sorry that you are put in this mess because of me–and because of Dick. I can try and reason with him, to let you out of whatever ridiculous plan he’s cooked up to attempt to salvage my–our–reputations. It’s been sensationalized for the papers, of course–they’re even saying we’re engaged, for goodness’ sake!”

Jason coughed. “Yes, about that…I came here to ask you to come somewhere with me.”

She paused, then shrugged and drew closer to him. “Where?”

“Do you know how to ride?”

“Yes.”

“Lovely! There’s a beautiful spot I’ve found that I’d like to show you.”

“It’s not like our reputations can get worse,” she decided. “Lead the way, Your Grace.”

The ride was peaceful, with only Jason and the sounds of nature to torment her. The green grass, the texture of the trees, the birds wheeling through the air, the smell of fresh sea breeze all painted a lovely picture.

Jason nudged her horse to the left, towards a short copse of trees. They arrived at a large flat stone, spread with a blanket and cushions, a basket sitting in the midst.

Jason slid off Jericho and offered her his hand to dismount her horse, Spoiler.

“I thought you might like a picnic.”

“This is lovely.” She took in the preparations and the view, realising that this was the type of thing a man did for the lady he was courting.

“Your Grace…are you courting me?” she asked slowly, unsure which answer she wanted to hear.

He looked up from the wine he was pouring into two glasses, the white streak in his hair failing into his eyes. He looked so casual and comfortable there, and her heart did a funny beat.

“What if I am? Would you accept it?”

She settled onto one of the fluffy cushions, picking at a bunch of grapes. “If this is about the scandal…”

“It is not.”

She decided to take his word for it and popped the grape in her mouth. The lunch went smoothly, the two of them easily settling into their usual conversation comfortably.

Then Jason pulled out something from the basket. She was sure they’d exhausted its contents and opened her mouth to politely refuse.

Then he revealed his hand and looked up at her earnestly. “Stephanie Brown, will you do me the honour of marrying me and becoming my wife?”

Her mouth snapped shut, unsure what to say. His steady smile made her want to melt and agree to anything, but she didn’t want to jump into what would be the rest of her life.

“Are you sure? This isn’t something Dick is making you do? I assure you, I will not be hurt if you retract your proposal.”

“My proposal has nothing to do with Duke Grayson and what is currently in the papers,” he assured her. 

“Then, yes, I would be honoured to marry you, Your Grace.”

He slid the gold ring onto her finger, the light catching and playing on the amethyst set in it. “Now that we are engaged, you must stop calling me ‘Your Grace’ and instead call me Jason.”

“I will, but only if you drop the ‘Miss’,” she replied.

“Deal, Stephanie.”

“Deal, Jason.”

They shook on their first decision as a couple.

~~~

The next couple weeks, Steph barely saw her new fiance, occupied as she was with wedding planning and looking after Emma. That was another thing she needed to talk to him about.

Babs hadn’t been married that long ago, and she still knew all the best places to get the best deals for all the preparations, which was a huge help to Steph, who did not frequent the places that duchesses did.

Oh, she was going to be a duchess. She couldn’t stop the nauseated anxiety she felt, wondering if she had completely ruined her life beyond repair.

She really needed to talk to Jason.

“Steph, the duke is in Dick’s study, asking for you.” Babs told her, breaking her attention from the fabric swatches for her wedding breakfast’s napkins.

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Babs. Everything on the right here I’ve already dismissed.”

“I’ll have it removed, then, and replaced with some tea. Or would you like me to send it to the study so you can have it with His Grace?”

“I’ll ask him if he’s got enough time for tea,” Steph replied. “Just have it brought here and I’ll come get it if he does.”

Babs nodded in response and Steph headed out of the drawing room to the study down the hall.

She paused outside the door, hearing her name.

“-marry you. You were quicker than I expected, Head,” Dick sounded almost pleased.

“It’s not what I wanted, but I’m an opportunist; I couldn’t let the situation go to waste,” Jason replied. 

“I’m pleased you did the right thing. Steph deserves what you can offer her.”

There was some sound from Jason but Steph didn’t listen, opening the door with a firm click. 

~~~

“Babs said Jason was here,” Steph said neutrally, but Jason couldn’t tell if she’d overheard what he and Dick had been talking about or not. “Is there something we needed to discuss, Your Grace?” she raised an eyebrow at him.

“Not right now,” he replied slowly. 

“Then it’s good to see you. I hope everything is going smoothly on your end, and I’ll see you in the church on Tuesday.” 

He bowed his head as she left, turning back to Dick with a bewildered expression.

“Babs was very short with me when we got married, too. They’re busy planning the wedding breakfast, after all.”

He nodded, but thought it was a little more than that. He needed to speak with her privately, but they hadn’t had a moment alone, never mind a moment, since they were engaged.

~~~

Steph opened her window, frowning. Jason stood below, waving at her with a smile, dropping a handful of pebbles behind his back into the garden.

“It is nearly midnight, what do you want?” she called in a loud whisper, too tired and put out to care about niceties.

“I’m sorry it’s so late, but will you come down for a minute so we can talk, please?”

She huffed and closed the window. They were getting married in ten hours, what couldn’t wait until then to say? Unless…they weren’t getting married?

She threw her robe on, yanked the tie shut, and speedily tiptoed down the steps, avoiding the creaky ones, to the side door, where Jason was waiting.

“Thank you,” he said when he saw her. “I needed to ask you what you heard when I was talking to Grayson in the study.”

“Why?” she looked at him sternly. “Is there something I need to know?”

“No. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t misunderstand a fragment of conversation you didn’t have context to.”

“Tell me, then, what were you talking about before I came in?”

“Grayson was thanking me for proposing to you so quickly, and I was refusing his thanks because I did not do it for him.”

That sounded rather rehearsed . “Well, then, sounds like everything’s clear,” she crossed her arms. “Anything else to say, Your Grace?”

“We’re alone, can’t you call me Jason?”

“I am capable of that, yes.”

“You seem angry at me, but I don’t know why. If I did or said something, could you at least tell me so I can apologise or attempt to fix it?”

She huffed at his rational words. “I’m being unfair. Just let me hold this grudge for ten more hours, okay?”

He gave her a perplexed look but agreed.

“Oh, I also wanted to speak to you…would you mind terribly if I brought Emma with me?”

“Of course not. I assumed you were part of the same parcel, I have a room already prepared for her.”

“You do?” she asked in disbelief.

“I’d show it to you, but I’m afraid that would be even more scandalous than what we’re doing right now,” he grinned. 

She punched his arm.

“Ow!”

“I’m sorry, did it actually hurt?” she gasped, running her hand gently over the spot she’d hit.

“No, it’s just a little sensitive from my boxing earlier.”

“You box?” She tilted her head. “I could see that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t mean anything by it, I just- your figure-”

There was no way to save herself, and she gave up with a blush as he grinned at her, pleased.

~~~

Babs was Steph’s witness, and Roy stood with Jason, the rest of their handful of family and friends filling the two front rows of pews in the church. The ceremony was short and simple, and the congregation headed to the fancier wedding breakfast held in the Graysons’ manor, in lieu of the bride’s house.

The couple were bounced from person to person, receiving well-wishes and advice, most of which they ignored. 

Finally Babs gave Steph the signal to leave, and she breathed a sigh of relief at the escape. 

Jason handed her into his carriage, then sprang in after her, still holding her hand.

They waved the remaining well-wishers off and headed to Jason’s home.

His home turned out to be a small (compared to ones like the Waynes’ or Kanes’) manor on the edge of the city, about halfway between the Waynes’ and Graysons’ and the Browns’. He had bought it before he even met her, but Steph still found it a happy convenience. Maybe it was a sign they were meant to be together.

“I apologize, there are very few servants around, since it was just me here and I don’t need much help,” explained Jason. “Feel free to hire whomever you think we need.”

“I grew up being the servant, Jason,” she reminded him. “I think I’ll manage with who you have now. Babs did recommend I get a maid now that…now that I’m a duchess; it’ll make things easier.”

Jason made an agreeing noise. “I had your things delivered already, so they should be in your rooms already.”

She glanced at him but he didn’t appear to notice, continuing the tour. 

“I don’t use this wing much, but it’s in good shape if you want to have it turned into a music room or something.”

The tour continued, Jason pointing out his most-used rooms so she could find him easily. She enjoyed this peek into his life, measuring all the things he’d furnished his home with. It wasn’t nearly as fancy and pretentious as some of the other nobles’ houses, but seemed more lived-in and arranged for comfort and ease. If this was the bachelor touch she’d heard about, she couldn’t fathom why society hated it so.

Various items from his travels were scattered about, interspersed with weapons from different cultures and paintings and artwork from a range of eras. “You have lovely taste,” she complimented.

“Thank you. My mother would be proud to hear that–she taught me most of what I know.”

“Is your mother still alive?”

“Oh, yes, she’s quite well back in Nanda Parbat. I was meaning to ask you, what do you think about travelling to Altheban soon?”

Steph blinked. “I think that sounds lovely. How soon is ‘soon’?”

Jason hesitated. “Within three weeks?”

“That’s doable, then,” she agreed. “I won’t bother unpacking much of Emma’s or my things, then.”

“Where is Emma?” asked Jason.

“My mother said she’d keep her for the week until we got settled in, so she wouldn’t be in the midst of all the mess.”

“Oh. Thoughtful of her.”

~~~

Steph paced in her room, the continual breeze of her stride making the candles flicker every time she passed. She should’ve taken Babs up on her offer of a temporary maid until she found one herself. Now she was stuck in her dress, trying to figure out a way to get out without asking her brand-new husband for help.

Stupid fancy dresses.

Expelling her pride with a long sigh, she headed to the door separating her from Jason. It opened to reveal him shirtless, his back to her as he appeared to be fiddling with his pants.

She stepped back into her room, an apology on her lips, when he turned. “Did you need something?”

Her hand dropped from her face. “What happened?” she gasped, taking in the marks covering his body. She’d helped her mother often enough to know those were scars, and they weren’t easy to get.

“It’s nothing,” he shrugged, reaching for his discarded shirt.

“It’s not nothing,” she insisted. “Who hurt you?”

He took her hands in his, lowering them from tracing over the marks and facing her with a reassuring smile. “I’m okay, Steph. I’ve been in some…situations…of my own volition, and this was the price I paid. They’ve been healed and treated by a professional. I appreciate your worry, but I’m fine. I’m sorry, I should have warned you.”

“No, it’s my fault, I should have knocked. I apologise.”

“What did you want?”

She tore her gaze away from his well-defined chest muscles to meet his concerned teal gaze.

“I…my dress is too difficult to get in and out of,” she muttered. “Could you…?”

She turned her back to him, brushing her hair over one shoulder.

He took a breath and stepped closer. His fingers brushed against her neck as he brushed some stray strands out of the way.

She could feel his body heat behind her, warming her through and igniting a fire in her belly. Each accidental touch as he undid the buttons, each gust of air over her shoulder, every cell he touched as he undid the laces only stoked it higher.

The dress and corset loosened as the bands of anticipation tightened around her chest.

Her dress pooled around her ankles as it finally slipped free.

Jason released a long breath behind her. She barely felt the graze of his lips on her bare shoulder before they were gone.

His warmth moved away. He cleared his throat. “All done.”

She turned to face him, holding her breath. “Will you kiss me?”

He nodded once, shuffling forward so their toes touched and wrapping his arm around her waist to pull her to him. The other trailed up her arm lightly, raising the small hairs and making her shiver in anticipation.

Her eyes slid closed as his face drew nearer, and then his lips met hers. Softly at first, tentatively, feeling her out. She pushed back, determined not to let this be the only kiss they shared. The fire in her spread through her veins, making her wrap her arms around his neck and pull him into her. 

The arm around her waist tightened, and he deepened the kiss, his fingers curling around her neck and kissing her back with just as much passion.

They finally separated, gasping for air, eyes dark and mouths panting. 

“Do you really wanna do this?”

She nodded vigorously. “Do you?”

He snorted a half-laugh. “Look at you, of course I do.”

Then he pulled her closer and proceeded to kiss any further remarks out of her head.

Steph ended up naked as the day she was born on the bed, underclothes spread over the room, watching in fascination at just how fast a man could undress when he was truly motivated.

He looked up and returned her grin with a hungry one of his own. “Ready?”

“For whaaa-Jason!” she exclaimed as he grabbed her ankles and pulled her down the bed.

He grinned up at her surprise, head bracketed by her knees. “Hold on to the duvet.”

“For whaaa-Jason!”

He knelt between her thighs, licking at her core like a man starved. She grasped a handful of bedsheets, throwing her head back in pleasure as his nose bumped against her clit with every movement of his head, his steady ministrations quickly building her pleasure up to unbearable heights. She fell with a loud gasp of his name, hand flying to his head to grip his hair instead of the sheets.

He pulled away, licking his lips in a manner far too indecent, and gave her a pleased look. She scooted up the bed to lie against the pillows, and he joined her on the other side.

“Come straddle me,” he said, pulling her hand toward him to kiss her fingers.

Affection shone from his eyes, and she felt herself melting even further.

Settling over his hips, she leaned forward to kiss him softly, her fingers tracing the raised skin on his chest and arms. “Is it very dangerous in Nanda Parbat?”

“It’s probably the safest place you’ll be in the world,” he told her between kisses. “I think you’ll like it. You’ll fit right in, with your knife throwing.”

Steph thought that raised a few more questions, but then Jason was nibbling on her neck and she decided they could wait for later. The fire inside her had been temporarily held under control when he gave her that orgasm, but it was steadily burning hotter again.

She shivered as Jason’s warm hand brushed lightly over her belly, the sensitive skin there not used to touch. He moved to her legs, running his fingertips teasingly up her calves to her knees, then her thighs.

His head dipped even lower as his mouth found her breasts, heightening the flames within her. He still seemed so composed, even with her kissing up his neck and teasing his nipples.

She wanted to make him burn just as much as her.

His fingers trailed up to the apex of her thighs, finding her still thoroughly wet. One slid in, making her gasp in pleasure. Yes, that was what she needed. She felt so empty.

“More,” she told him breathily, nipping his earlobe. He added a second, finding her sweet spot and rubbing in just the right way. She shifted so the angle was better, feeling her orgasm coiling in her lower belly. 

Her hand trailed down his chest, uncaring, until she reached his rather erect cock. His fingers paused as he let out a pained sound. 

She wrapped her fingers around him slowly, stroking him at the same pace he was using on her. He added a third finger, stretching her nicely. 

Abruptly he pulled his fingers out of her, leaning back to see her. “Please stop, or I’m not gonna last,” he asked, his other hand stilling her wrist. “Can I-”

“Please,” she begged, missing his fingers already. She could only imagine what his cock would feel like inside her.

Settling herself over it, she slowly slid down, relishing the look on Jason’s face. There, now he was showing how unravelled he was feeling. She took him until their pelvises met, swaying her hips teasingly.

Jason groaned. “Steph, please, don’t tease.”

Feeling too wound up and close to orgasm to be bratty, she began setting a steady pace. His fingers gripped her hips as an anchor as he began to thrust up to meet her. Her temporarily delayed orgasm came building up with a vengeance. 

Her fingers dug into his shoulders as she came with a cry of his name; he followed after her.

They lay in each other’s arms, content to be skin-to-skin as they caught their breath.

Steph hummed contentedly as Jason ran his fingers up and down her spine. 

“Was that good for you?”

“Of course it was–I orgasmed twice. What about you?”

“Better than good,” he kissed her quickly, then lay silent for a while. Finally he took a deep breath. “I know you married me because of the situation, but…do you think you could love me one day?”

Steph blinked rapidly at him, surprised at the sudden deep talk and the implications of the question.

“I didn’t marry you because of the situation,” she finally said. “Although that was certainly a part of it. I am already halfway in love with you, Jason. I know I’ll love you.”

“Really?”

She nodded definitively. “Really. Could you love me ?”

Jason kissed her softly, full of feeling. “I do love you. It’s hard not to, believe me, I tried.”

She narrowed her eyes at him but decided to drop it, snuggling further into his chest. “Would you have married me if we hadn’t been forced to?”

“When I was looking for you in the garden that night, it was to ask you if we could talk. I wanted to propose to you before…that, although it didn’t happen in the way I’d hoped,” he sighed.

“It’s not what I wanted, but I’m an opportunist; I couldn’t let the situation go to waste.”

Steph recalled his words from the study, context helping it make more sense. She kissed him thoroughly. “You make me happy, Jason Head.”

“You make me happy, Stephanie Head.”

Dearest Reader, 

As the season comes to a close, so too does the Duke of Altheban’s stay with us. We wish the duke and duchess and their newly adopted daughter safe travels as they take their leave, heading to the Duke’s native lands in Nanda Parbat, where they are sure to have many more adventures. We hope to see the Head family back in our midst one day.

With the season over, so I too shall disappear from your lives, gone but I hope certainly not forgotten. Until next season,

Adieu.

Lady Gotham

A/N 3:

-Thank you for reading and to @jaysteph-events for hosting this <3 -Join the JaySteph Discord (18+)! -The Duma and Elliot families are from DC canon as Gothamite socialite families. Duma is Polish, so I used the Polish spelling of Alexander for Lord Duma’s name. I couldn’t think why that had a nice ring to it until I remembered Alexandre Dumas, the author. He’s a few decades later, though, so there’s no overlap between him and my character. -Nursing wasn’t exactly the respected career it is now, since it was pre-Florence Nightingale. Jason, having trained somewhat [my hc] with (Middle) Eastern healers, who were more advanced and hygienic, would have more respect for nurses. -Jason’s horse is named Jericho, not after Deathstroke's kid, but after the make of Jason’s primary guns. I’m pretty sure Jericho 941s didn’t exist in 1810, so I used the name for his horse instead. -I was listening to Beethoven’s 5th as I wrote the scene where it’s playing in the background. Classical music is surprisingly fun background music for a scene where a character gets punched in the face :) And to those of you curious about if the 5th symphony existed in 1810, yes, it did–I looked it up: Beethoven wrote it in 1808. -I purposefully left this somewhat open ended so I can come back and write more in this AU when I want, such as Steph meeting Talia and the Bats finding out Jason is their Jason. -If there’s something I left unclear or you’d like to know more about some scene or read a specific future scenario, please leave a comment!

[titleleaf]

What are the Bad Hannigram Takes you're encountering? I watched the show but never got too involved in the fandom so I am fascinated

Oh god I'm so sorry, I have no idea how coherent any of this will be if you haven't dipped into the fandom and even for my part I've been mainly watching and reading from afar but hereeeee... are my thoughts. Disclaimer that YMMV, let people have fun, etc., but I am a gigantic hater.

[fandom negativity and a leetle canon-related negativity behind the cut: if for whatever reason you don't want to hear me bitching about people being Wrong On The Internet About A TV Show keep scrolling, mute me, block me, whatever]

Character-specific tunnel vision where Hannibal is the center of the universe -- not just in the sense that he's, yk, the title character of the show and the most memorable character created by Thomas Harris but in the sense that all characters are evaluated by how much they support or obstruct Hannibal's God-given right to do whatever he wants to anybody ever. And my God, it is so, so boring.

Nothing is ever Hannibal's fault, either. Delicate use of the exonerative passive voice — oh it's so sad, Will was framed, Beverly was murdered, Abigail was killed, but by whom? Hard to say! Especially funny when people whip this out regarding shit even Hannibal plainly regrets, like framing Will and then not having Will to hang out with. In general downplaying Hannibal's agency is such a weird move with a character who takes so much pleasure in doing what he wants. "To what extent are people a product of their external influences and life traumas, to what extent is Hannibal capable of not killing" is a whole other conversation but it's just a very odd reading of the character and the show as a text.

Nothing is ever Hannibal's fault, because it's actually the fault of... [scans crowd] that woman over there! Weird misogyny, often overlapping with the above (bc boy howdy, the list of women who Hannibal kills, maims, tortures, or otherwise fucks over is not short — Abigail, Alana, Bella, Beverly, Bedelia, Miriam, Margot, Georgia… I guess Freddie makes it out okay?) but sometimes seemingly just because, or to exonerate Hannibal of all blame for his own actions toward Will, as if this is the kind of show where it’s vitally important our blorbos be morally pure. Like… I’m sorry but I don’t think this is the show for you if that’s the case. People are really weird about Alana, people are really really weird about Bedelia, people are turbo weird about Molly... I'm sure there are people out there being weird about Chiyoh but I haven't encountered them yet, and I feel like there's some uhhhh other factors in play there too.

Baffling ship war stuff even once the canon's long since finished airing. I'm a big multishipper for this fandom so the weird competitive approach where Will and Hannibal's love must be the only real love (or even the only real erotic desire) they've either ever experienced ever is really off-putting. Showrunner Word of God here regarding Will's sexual orientation is in itself a take that annoys me, as a humorless bisexual man, but this is more commonly expressed via weird not-joking "jokes" about how the only reason Hannibal would ever have sex with a woman would be as an elaborate ruse (and how she'd deserve it for being stupid enough to believe he'd be into women) or how Hannibal's a better wife to Will than Molly ever could be. Dude... relax... your pairing has a literal love theme like a 1990s erotic thriller, why are you this insecure. People will do this with characters who don't even appear in the show! Now why is Clarice in it???? I need people to just be normal.

Nice polite sweet tea-sippin' Southern boy Will, and his equally annoying twin brother, Will with an inexplicable and phonetically-rendered Southern accent. 50% me being an extremely sensitive buzzkill about how the text presents Will's childhood and how the romanticized vision of the American South people draw on is superficial and rooted in white supremacist nostalgia, 50% me being a person who can hear Hugh Dancy speak dialogue in a television show and recognize basic American regional accents.

General... accrued fanon, I guess? All the tropes and memes and fandom in-jokes and fandom characterizations that build on one another to the point where their relationship to the show as a text (or to the novels, for that matter) is pretty damn tenuous.

In general, and while I know where this is coming from as a lover of dark stories/horror media/dark and destructive love stories who’s gotten flak for all of that: people getting so defensive about shipping something ~*~*~*problematique~*~* that they take other people talking about the things that textually make their dynamic fucked up (even if they’re talking about those things as something they like or something they enjoy exploring with the canon) as an attack or a sign somebody's Interrogating The Text From The Wrong Perspective. I think the show itself has some narrative weaknesses that lend themselves to this kind of fandom circlejerk but please... please Lord... I just want to write about a really weird guy getting his dick stepped on whilst classical music plays and having the time of his life, why is everyone doing this to me

On the much more benign end of things, “Will is totally normal average everyman while Hannibal is weird and pretentious and fruity” bc it just makes them sitcom parents. Show!Will is a weird fucking guy in his own right! They're both weird! And they're in love!

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

I think you may have answered this kind of question before but right now I do believe when they gut Lawrence v Texas they are going to charge everybody online who does art, fics and whatever gay with sodomy and be put on the sex offender registry unjustifiably and it's making me feel extremely worried that I have to distance myself. But I don't know.

That's why I really hope you respond with a longer response and explaining this and I'm prepared to hear that I am right or wrong or right but over exaggerating problem this is a seriously bothering me

I've literally heard nothing about this, so I did some searching and it seems like no one is advocating for overturning Lawrence v Texas, or even seriously considering that it might get overturned.

You can read a somewhat unbiased summary of the decision here, but basically the only reason anyone might be floating that it might get overturned is because the decision relies on the same "substantive due process" that the current court attacked when overturning Roe v Wade, and because Clarence Thomas was one of the dissenting justices in Lawrence. However, as the last two paragraphs of the linked article state:

Is Lawrence v. Texas In Danger of Being Overturned? After the court's decision in Dobbs and the end of the constitutionally-protected right to abortion, there has been speculation that Lawrence v. Texas may also soon be revisited. As noted above, substantive due process cases continue to be controversial, and many conservative legal advocates question whether the Supreme Court of the United States should have ever started down this path. At least one sitting justice, Clarence Thomas, has flat-out argued that the court should eliminate substantive due process, which would once again allow states to ban same-sex marriage, criminalize homosexual conduct, and outlaw birth control. However, others, such as Justice Samuel Alito, have attempted to distinguish abortion from other substantive due process rights such as intimate sexual acts and same-sex marriage. It's important to note, however, that Alito made the same legal arguments in ​Dobbs​ that Scalia did in his Lawrence dissent. Put plainly, the only certainty is that a lot of the legal grounds that Lawrence rested on have been shaken by the current court's revocation of a previously constitutionally protected right.

Note first the unsourced "speculation". Again, I could find nothing on Bing about Lawrence being overturned, or any current case that might overturn it, or any push to have it overturned. "Speculation" in this case seems to mean "some people online are acting like the sky is falling again".

Even if Lawrence did, somehow, get overturned again, all it would do is exactly what Dobbs, which overturned Roe, did, and send the issue back to the states. As far as I know, no state currently has any law against gay sex, or sodomy in general, and there are no "trigger laws" that will activate if Lawrence gets overturned like there were in several states with regards to abortion and Roe. There is no legal interest in anti-sodomy laws. Would some deep red states try to pass them if Lawrence got overturned? Maybe. But much like banning gay marriage, there is no real push to do so. There's no political will to do either of those things, not from politicians and certainly not from voters. You can never predict what a government will do with 100% certainty, but I think it's safe to say none of us are going to see sodomy made illegal in our lifetimes. What I might expect, maybe, is to see a bunch of anti-sodomy in public laws passed, since sexual activity in public is a hot issue right now. But that's already illegal, and would only be symbolic to show voters that the state legislatures are serious about cracking down on public indecency. But again, that's just speculation on my part.

As for fan art and fics, they would never be subject to prosecution if Lawrence gets overturned. Art and real life acts are not governed by the same laws. Just remember, murder is illegal, but you can't be arrested for drawing a picture of someone being killed. Rape is illegal, but you can't be arrested for writing a rapefic. The only legal murkiness when it comes to art vs real life is sexual art depicting underage fictional characters. And as far as I can remember from the last time I got into a discussion about that, the only law against fictional underage porn is that you can't import it into the country. And that law has only ever been enforced once or twice. Most notably, against some guy who imported hundreds of thousands of dollars in loli hentai from Japan, and I don't even think he went to jail. So fandom spaces are not going to come under legal attack even if, somehow, Lawrence gets overturned and congress passes a law that makes gay sex illegal across the country. I'd be more worried about the fan artists and fic writers selling their fanart or fanfic, tbh. That is dangerous legal territory, and more and more people seem to be diving into it headfirst.