#i like to think that maybe i just need to be medicated for something. probably adhd. and then ill be all better and happy
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catscraftsandcommentary · 7 hours ago
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Types of colonoscopy preps (which I have personally experienced, THANKS UC):
Magnesium citrate: carbonated, acidic hate in a pint-sized glass bottle. Sold over the counter, just in case you're stupid enough to voluntarily torture yourself. On top of making you shit yourself, you WILL puke while drinking it. Instructions recommend pouring it over ice, because it's apparently EVEN WORSE at room temp. I have done this one twice, and NEVER AGAIN. Plus it's often combined with the traditional liquid prep.
Traditional liquid prep: a powder packet with a gallon jug. You fill the jug with water, mix in the powder, and prepare to spend the next several hours on the toilet. Tastes like slime and bile had a baby. Sometimes you can mix flavor packets into it (as long as they don't include red or blue dye, which can hang around in your colon and be mistaken for bleeding tissue during the 'scope.) May make you vomit. I think it once came with a lemony flavor packet, which I didn't use.
Miralax mixed into a sports drink: another OTC diuretic, mixed overstrong into something to TRY to keep you from getting dehydrated. Tastes like slime and sports drink had a baby. Probably will make you vomit. Do NOT mix the miralax stronger than your doctor said to so you can finish it faster - it will just taste worse and make you shit faster. Also you need that liquid to rinse out your insides.
Sutab pills: not as horrible, provided that you a) drink a LOT of liquid with them b) pick a liquid that you don't hate. Maybe switch between clear drinks.
Suprep: similar medicine to Sutab, but in a liquid form. Comes in little bottles that you mix with water and chug, then drink more water (or other liquid) with. The medicated liquid tastes like salt and slime had a baby, then made it acidic. I usually gag some up, but don't quite vomit everything. You DO get to drink more of "your choice" clear drinks with it, which is nice. Last time, I did a bunch of flavored water and tea, and it was less terrible than usual.
If it was slimy, it wasn't mag cit. It was probably the traditional prep. I CANNOT emphasize enough how viciously carbonated and acidic the mag cit is. That shit wants to KILL YOU, and not by gagging you or pouring slime down your throat. It wants to stab your eye with an ice pick, then make you shit yourself while you're still struggling to swallow the last of it. You WILL puke some (or most) of it up. Even with ice.
I hate mag cit SO MUCH.
what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why
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ohburgee · 3 days ago
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𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞
yandere!general x civilian!reader
tw: yandere themes, obsession, stalking, violence, death, murder, mentioned police brutality an: before reading the story, the place takes in a dystopian future and has this aesthetic of dieselpunk, this plot is almost a part of my upcoming fanfic story but I changed my mind. Also, I'll be a bit late to post a new story because I'm back at my school :')
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"You should take a rest" you heard your boss the owner of the library "No it's fine I don't have anything to do," you said smiling at him and he sighed and smiled back.
As you finish arranging the books on the shelf cleaning the dust around and serving some customers after the long work it is finally night and you bid goodbye to your boss as you get out of the library building.
And walked through the street and a vehicle passed by as you walked and a few people also walking, while walking you noticed something on your back and you quickly turned around and saw nothing.
You shrugged yourself and thought you were just paranoid about what happened yesterday.
A guy try to kidnap you and probably going to rape you thankfully the armored guards are there and notice the taller one their leader came and bends to your height.
"Are alright my lady?" He asks his deep husky voice ringing in your ears maybe due to his armored helmet it sounds robotic.
You slowly nodded your head and he didn't back away from you, "I need words" he said his helmet staring at your face.
"Yes I'm fine just-" Before you could speak he yelled at his people to take the guy who assaulted you and he turned around to look at you.
And he noticed your wound on your right arm and he grabbed your arm and inspected the wound, "It's fine it's just not worse" you said as you took off your arm from his hand.
He insists on taking you to the medic and you give in and accept it since you don't want to take trouble from this taller armored man in front of you. He can tear you apart if you say no.
He takes you to the medic, after checking and treating your wound you're finally got out and the armored man follows behind you.
A vehicle stopped in front of you "Take this lady to her home" he said as he walked in front of you "You don't need to" "No it's for your safety please" he said and you nodded and got in the and he looked at you with admiring.
Well, that happens and now you are very aware of your surroundings and not going to let that situation happen again.
After a few minutes of walking, you reach your apartment you pass by the small shop behind you and greet the old man who is sitting on the counter and give him a piece of snack well it's a gratitude for him after he saves you from the debts.
After that you walk upstairs to your apartment unlock the door close behind then lock it, you sigh and are very tired from your work.
You lay on the sofa and take some rest not bother going to your bed you're just very tired.
...
Seeing you like it's peaceful, he didn't know how he got his attention to you, you're just a librarian who works in the library at the center of the city.
After going to the library to investigate he sees you walking around the hall with the pile books wrapped around your arms as you try to balance with your body.
He admires your beautiful delicate self walking and after talking with the owner before he gets out of the library he takes one glance at you, as you are on top of the ladder arranging the books on the shelf. and got out.
But after an hour of guarding the city with his men, he saw you struggling with the man and he quickly ran towards you and grabbed the guy he noticed your wound that made his anger rage and he wanted to rip the man's face.
He shrugged the thoughts and focused on you he would do that later, after that he took you to the medic building, and after being treated he called someone to take you home, he didn't want you to be hurt and assaulted.
After a few days, he was mindless thinking that you might get hurt again so he decided to stalk you everywhere you go and even take his men to watch over you when he was busy on his import duty.
And now he followed you as you walked through the street and you caught your attention and turned around, and he immediately lowered his head.
You turn and continue walking and he looks at you peacefully as he notices a man following you, "You are really making me worried my dove" as he gets out of the vehicle and follows the guy.
He grabbed the guy's shoulder and slammed his body to the wall as he grabbed his head with his bare hand and squeezed his eyes, he doesn't care about people who do bad things also to you, he doesn't care about slaughtering people that's his job after all.
After that he followed you through your apartment and saw you are very kind and saw you giving something to the old man in the shop, you are very perfect and that is the reason he is obsessed with your kindness.
He takes the risk and walks upstairs and now in front of your apartment room gladly he is not on his armored and on his regular uniform.
He easily opened your apartment door and slowly opened it and he got in without sound and he slowly carefully walked inside his eyes wide and mouth gasping but quickly turned into a smirk seeing you peacefully sleeping on your sofa.
He tried to make a small sound that doesn't make you wake up and he thinks you are tired from your work or maybe a sleep heavier.
He slowly approaches you sleeping on the sofa as he kneels down to see your face clearly he watches you slowly breathe and slowly humping off your chest.
You look beautiful and adorable, he wanted to see you sleeping peacefully in his bed, when after his duty and gets home, he will get this beautiful face and always admire it.
God, you look so very beautiful he can't stop thinking about that.
Imagine if you were his lover he would carry you to bed and lay you down there, the sofa is too small for you and you should be sleeping in your bed, imagine lecturing you to be organized and careful with yourself as if he was your husband telling his wife.
But that those just imagination you are not his and you are in your own freedom.
He slowly touched your hair caressing it as if he was overly obsessed with your appearance, he wanted you and he wanted you now.
He had an idea, a plan he didn't want to get you by force didn't want you to be hated by you and get crept out so he had a brilliant idea.
...
You slowly open your eyes as you slowly get up and you realize you are on your sofa, you slept here even though you have your own bed you yawn and before you can walk through your kitchen you hear a loud knock on your door. Are those officers i know they knock loudly when they come to houses.
You walk towards your door and slowly open it to see two officers in front of you, you gulp and start to feel nervous, "Is there anything you want?" you ask wanting to know why they are here.
"We have a warrant of arrest for you, Ms," one of the officers said and you began to panic as you tried to remember, that you didn't do anything wrong you avoided any legal, and issued things.
"Warrant for what? I didn't do anything" You tried to excuse yourself or try to make yourself innocent.
"For the murder of the daughter of the high lord," they said as they mentioned the name, it's your friend before but you and her never get to talk after a conflict and your eyes widened "Why me, I didn't do anything to her, I'm her friend, not an enemy" you now encourage them to believe you, before you could add more words there's a footstep coming and you saw your boss looking worried to you.
He came closer to you and took both hands to his, "I'm sorry they suspect you for her murder, since there's a footage of you" he said and that made you shocked you didn't even do it.
You were her friend before but after knowing she was one of the daughters of high lords you cut off ties with her because of her role and not wanting to be involved in politics.
You didn't argue as you and your boss went to the station to confirm everything when they showed the footage to you, you saw someone who really looked like you as the person, the impostor stab your friend your eyes widened.
"As much as this footage can take as evidence," one of the soldiers said as you looked at them with merciful eyes, "Please that's not me, that's an imposter or just have the same appearance as me, please" you try to plead but they ignore and proceed to prepare your file.
This is why you don't want to get involved in something if those merciless officers catch you, you'll never come back to your normal life as their hands around you.
One of the officers came to you and led you to the cell as you looked at your boss trying to plead but he started to tears and kept saying he couldn't do anything, he was right there's nothing can do.
As the officer pushes you inside the cell and locks it you look at them with furious and worry, you kneel down on the ground and start to cry, you can't do anything if you try again to plead they won't listen to you, you pull your knees to your chest as you hugged them.
After a while of sleeping, you fell asleep due to your tiredness and pressure also with your small cries, you didn't get to eat breakfast as they took you.
Suddenly you heard footsteps coming closer you didn't bother to look at you didn't want to waste your time and cries of plead then a voice spoke.
"Trouble my dove" You slowly looked up and saw the armored guard leader as you saw the familiar face, you quickly got up and tried to plead at him.
"Please help me, I swear that was not me, I'm innocent and no crime is involved," you said as you started to cry hoping he could listen to you, "I know you didn't do it," he said as he looked at you.
"But your friend's death won't be easy" he added as he crossed his arms to his chest "The footage is not real someone trying to frame you," he said and your eyes widened yes that's true you are very innocent, you won't do that to your friend. As you heard someone framed you as a suspect.
"Please can you convince them that I'm innocent, please I'll do anything just let me have my freedom," you said trying to plead with him to convince the officers after he heard those words his serious face turned into a smirk, and walk closer to you.
"Anything?" he asked again and you nodded you know it's stupid but your life indicates here and your freedom.
"Be my consort" he replies and you look shocked at what he said, consort as mean like a wife or lover, "I know but it's the right thing to do, you are against high roles you know how powerful they are compared to your role" he said and he was right you were just low rank.
"Becoming my companion you'll have my name and half of my power as my wife," he said as he looked at you like the only pieces of hope, you look down you don't want to be married or as much as you don't want to be in this brutal politics but your life is in danger and you need your freedom.
"And I'll help you erase you in this case I just need your acceptance" he added as he waited for your answers, you sighed in defeat your life is more important you nodded and he smiled and told you he would tell the officers.
After a minute one officer came to you and unlocked the cell you got out and saw the leader you slowly approached him, "As my consort you'll be living with me and you have to abandon your low life" he said as he put his hands to your back as he leads you out the station.
When you both out and walked towards his vehicle he stopped and looked at you as he towered to you, "Also with my protection, if anyone tries to hurt you they will face consequences," he said and you slowly nodded your head and suddenly hugged you, you don't get any action about since you are very tired and not enough energy to think.
"You're safe with me", he said as he finally held you and his face smiled in victory, his plans turned successful. He let one of the guards imposter you and kill your friend, it was actually part of the authority to kill the daughter since the father was a threat to this world, and he added you to capture it successfully.
He can now always see you and touch you, and you will be forever with him even when the truth comes out he will take you back in force, when you have his name there's no turning back, you are his and forever will be.
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moody-alcoholic · 2 days ago
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Cross My Heart
Part 5 - Should Have Gone To Med School
Summary: eventual poly141 x reader. Enemies to lovers, mini fic.
CW: Medical stuff, descriptions of wounds, description of medical procedures, medical inaccuracies, blood.
AN: Why does everything I write turn into a medical drama.
Previous parts - masterlist - next AO3
Enjoy <3
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You hide the scalpel between the mattress and the bed frame. No point in getting caught with it. You’ll help Price but you won’t take them over the border. It’s too risky, you need them to trust you at least for now. Besides you’re about to maim their captain, or at least you assume he’s the captain. Gaz called him cap. 
He ordered Ghost around and you thought he was incharge. 
“Hey.” The voice at the door makes you jump. You turn to see Soap looking at you. He’s unarmed for once, maybe they are starting to trust you. “Sorry, I wanted to say thank you.” 
“For what?” You ask heading out the room. He blushes running his hand through his hair. Christ, what's he nervous about. He moves to the side to let you out into the hall. 
“For back in the vets with Ghost.” 
“So he told you?”
“Yeah, he’ll never say a proper thank you. He’s a bastard like that sometimes. But you could have let him die.” He seems nervous, you have no idea why. Maybe Ghost didn't want anyone to know he let his guard down. Probably not the best look that a seasoned SAS soldier can get jumped so easily. 
“No I couldn’t. Then you would have killed me.” You smile at him and head down the stairs. 
Maybe you should have let him die, and run. Where though? Back to Konni? To Al Qatala? You shake your head pushing the thoughts away. You'll patch Price up then you’ll part ways. No need for you to stick around longer than you need to. Fuck the asylum in the UK, you don’t believe that would happen anyway. 
Ghost is not around but Soap follows you down the stairs and Gaz is sitting on the coffee table talking with Price. He goes silent when he turns to see you, standing up and moving behind the sofa. His eyes dig into you. You swallow the nerves going over to the bag you dumped down when you came in. 
“Are you sure you want to do this?” You ask him one last time. He looks up and nods. 
“It’s worse to leave it in, right?” Price asks. 
“Yes and no. It’s going to hurt. There’s no anesthetic.” You say gripping the handle on the bag. 
“I’ve been through worse.” 
“Cap, are you sure?” Gaz leans down to whisper next to his head. You feel like you’re interrupting something.
“If you need time-” You don’t get time to finish. “No. I’m ready.” Price says sitting up straighter on the sofa. “It’s fine Gaz.” He waves the other man away but he doesn’t move, just stands back up crossing his arms.
“Take your shirt off and lie down.” You say putting the bag on the coffee table and bending down next to the sofa. 
“Do you need a chair or somthin’?” Soap asks, you turn to him and shake your head. He smiles. You look through the bag, you think you have everything. You recognise everything, you managed to grab a lot. But you only have 2 pairs of sterile gloves, which means you only have 2 chances to get this right. You will get it right though. 
Gaz helps Price take his shirt off, you look at the bandage on his stomach. Now you’re calmer, getting a better look at it, it’s not as central as you thought it was. 
“Did you have a vest on?” You ask. 
“Yeah, went right through.” Price says as he lays back on the sofa. 
“You’re lucky the bullet didn’t shatter.” You press on his side where he showed you yesterday, it's starting to bruise. It really must be closer to the surface then you think.
“Lucky the guy missed.” 
“Some would argue he didn’t miss.” You say, tipping your head and turning back to the coffee table. You lay out your instruments, double checking everything. What should you be worried about? You think to yourself. It’s been years since you’ve done something like this on a dummy let alone a real person. 
Shock, he could go into shock if the pain is too much. He’s fit and healthy, well other than the hole in his stomach. 
“I can take the bullet out and stitch both the wounds. What would you like me to do first?” 
“Which will hurt less?” He asks scoffing. There’s the nerves, the break in his demeanor. You ignore it, you’d be shitting yourself too. You don’t really know how to answer that. The stitches will have to be deeper on the entry wound, but would that be more or less painful then slicing his skin open and fishing around for a bullet?
“They’re both going to hurt,” you say, it’s the truth. He sighs looking behind you at Soap. 
“Stitch the entry wound first.” A gruff voice behind you says. You don’t need to turn to know it’s Ghost. Price nods and you kneel up pulling the bandages off. As you begin to undo the tape fresh blood drips out and you need to reach over to start dabbing it up. Before you take the steri-strips off you lay out your sterile gloves and reach into the bag for one more thing.
“Here.” You hand him some wooden tongue depressors. “In case you need to bite down on something.” He takes them, raising an eyebrow. 
“I’m tougher than you think.” he says. 
“It’s not about being tough.” You snap back. Now your nerves are showing, you take a breath. “It’s so you don’t bite your fucking tongue off and bleed out.” 
He nods. You start pulling the sterile gloves on. You can do this, it’s just stitches, you've done this before, you can do it again. You turn back over to him resting the tray on his chest and pulling the last of the bandage off. It would be easier if you had 2 people, you don’t want to ask any of them for help, besides you need them around to keep an eye on him. You take one last breath getting comfy on your knees. 
“Ready?” You ask turning to look up at him. 
“Ready.” He says. You angle the needle squeezing the tweezers in your hands. Now or never. You say to yourself and plunge the needle into the skin. 
He lasts longer than you thought he would before he makes his first audible groans. You snap to look up at him quickly when you’re done with the next pass. His eyes are squeezed closed, sweat building on his forehead. 
“Almost done.” You lie mopping the blood escaping from the fresh wounds. He’s going to need at least 6 more stitches before you can tie this off. It came back to you in an instant, as soon as you made the first pass through. It’s like riding a bike you never really forget. 
“Want to take a break?” Gaz asks. 
“No.” He grits through his teeth. Good, stopping now wouldn't be smart, you’re over half-way done. 
“You can have a break when I'm done.” You say passing the needle though again. It’s not perfect but it will hold, paired with the bandages it’s all he needs until he can get to a proper medic or a hospital.
“Would kill for a whisky.” He says trying to keep still. That makes you smile. At least he’s still joking, talking. At least he's conscious. You feel like you can hear people shuffling uncomfortably behind you, hushed voices you’re not paying attention to as you concentrate. You’ve been biting the inside of your cheek trying not to show your true nerves, you hope they can’t tell. 
“Almost done.” You assure him.
“You keep saying that.” He says, his breathing picks up. This is going to be the worst part, you saved it till last. You speed up as much as you dare, you want to get this over with before he starts to freak out. You don’t like how shallow his breathing has become. 
“Last stitch.” You say pushing the needle through the skin one more time. You let out an audible sigh of relief as you reach over for the scissors. “Done.” It’s all you can manage. You tie off the tread sitting back on your knees. It’s done. You look over at him, his eyes open again his head tipped back against the sofa pillow. 
You reach over for the bandages and dress the wound. You get up to your feet. 
“Take a break, maybe get something to drink. Water.” You say, swallowing the nerves rising in you. You need to clear your head. You need fresh air. You make a b-line for the front door pulling your gloves off as you pull it open letting the cool night air hit you. 
You feel sick bending over and bracing your hands on your thighs. 
“Holy shit.” You say pushing as much air out your lungs as you can. That really just happened. You just stitched up a fucking SAS officer with no ansathetic. And you’re still not done, he still has a bullet in him. 
The door opens making you jump. You straighten yourself up crossing your arms as goosebumps rise on your skin. You turn to look, it’s Ghost. He hands you a bottle of water.
“Thanks.” You say reaching out and opening it. 
“You did good.” He says after you’ve taken a few sips. 
“It’s just stitches.” You say trying to not let your confidence falter. Can’t have them losing confidence in you. 
“Are you sure taking the bullet out of him is the best option?” He asks. You turn to look at him finishing the bottle. 
“The bullet could move if he does, it could hit an organ, cause internal bleeding. It’s close to the surface though, it could just be stuck below the skin. I have no way of knowing until-” the word catches in your throat. “It’s safer to remove it.” You walk up to him and hand him the empty bottle, he nods. 
When you get back in the building you’re surprised at how warm it is, you’d never noticed that until now. Price looks fine inspecting the bandage on his stomach. 
“Looks good.” He says. He seems perked up. Gaz looks like he hasn’t moved although now he’s holding a glass of water. 
“Thanks.” You say cleaning up the stuff you’ve used and setting up the new stuff you need. The scalpel seems heavy in your hand for some reason. Your mind wonders the one upstairs. 
“Ready?” You ask looking up at Price again. 
“This one should hurt less right?” You squirt alcohol solution over the sight. It’s better than nothing.
“Yes.” You say pulling a mask over your nose and mouth. Maybe if he believes it it will hurt less, like a placebo effect or whatever they call it. You pull the sterile gloves on and pick up the scalpel. You let out a breath looking down at the skin. 
This is not going to be fun. 
“Hey.” John calls, you look up at him. “Don’t look so nervous, what's the worst that could happen.” 
He could die. 
“I’m not nervous.” You bring the blade down. “It’s going to be hard, but try to keep still.” 
You press the blade into the skin. A groan leaves his mouth, his head presses back into the sofa pillow again. You have to act fast, mopping up the blood as it spills out. You thought you’d cut deep enough but apparently not. You squeeze the skin fleeing for the bullet. It’s still there, it's not moved. You make another incision going deeper. 
You’re through the fat and it must be stuck in the muscle. You reach over for your tweezers, using your other hand to try and isolate it. 
“Christ.” Price says as you dig around. 
“I know, I'm sorry. Slippery thing keeps moving.” You say frowning. You manage to find it reaching for the clamp, if you can keep it still you can cut down to it. 
“Got it.” You say after a few seconds of poking around. Thank god you don’t have to dig much deeper. You take the tweezers and pull it out. “Look.” 
Price looks up, when he sees it he smiles.
“Free souvenir.” Soap says. You reach around dropping it with the tweezers on the coffee table. Now you just need to stitch this up. Easier said than done. 
“How’d you learn to do all this if you’re not a doctor?” Price asks, you're surprised he's talking. He looks more relaxed, you look up, he's squeezing Gaz’s hand. Poor Gaz. 
“I would hang out in the skills labs with the surgical interns when I was at the hospital. My father would be in surgery, my mother working. They would teach me. I used to enjoy it as a kid, playing with fake skin watching them work.” 
“What happened? Why did you move away from medicine?” Gaz asks. “I got bored, wanted to do something other than be stuck in a hospital all my life.” You look up at him, he hasn’t moved. “I saw how hard my parents worked. I didn't want a life like that.” 
“Is smuggling easier?” Price asks, raising an eyebrow.
“No but it's more fun.” You hear Gaz scoff, he drops Price’s hand crossing his arms, he hasn't moved but he hasn't taken his eyes off you either. 
“Ever thought about the army?” Price asks. You laugh, shaking your head. 
“I don’t like being tied down. I’m not into all those rules.” 
“I think you’d do good.” “I think it's all bullshit.” You say trying to not snap. You focus on your stitching, you can’t get it out of your head though. Like the military is so great. 
“Where’s your rescue anyway? I would have thought the UK would be desperate to get 4 SAS out of here.” No one says anything. You look up at Gaz, then over at Price. 
“We’re helping Farah.” Soap says.
“Ah, that makes sense. They’re classed as a terrorist organisation right?” You look over at Price, he nods. You’re almost done, you wipe the blood away reaching over for the scissors. 
“Why do you need to get into Russia if you’re helping Farah?” No one says anything. You sigh, tying off the thread. “I can’t help you if I don’t know why.” 
“I thought you didn’t like to know details.” Ghost says. 
“We need to find Alex first.” Price says. You pull your gloves and mask off bandaging up his wound. 
“If you lost him on the border Konni will have him.” You say as a matter of fact. Standing up and picking up the trash. No one is saying anything, you throw it in the bin. 
“You work for Konni right? Your last job was for them?” Price asks, sitting up on the sofa. 
“Yeah, well, not anymore. Thanks by the way I wasn’t really in the mood to be getting an ear full from Makarov this week.” You stand back up looking round the room. They look different, shocked, all the colour has drained from Price’s face. 
“Makarov?” He asks.
“Yeah. I mean he’s in town for something. Like I said I don’t ask, but whatever it is it’s important. Those people you killed were important.” You look round the room. 
“Holy shit. You’re after Makarov.” You say as a matter of fact. No one says anything. You scoff picking the bag up off the table and throwing it over your shoulder. You shake your head again. “Look I hate to be the bringer of bad news but even if I could get you over the border. There is no way on earth you’re getting into Konni’s compound.” 
“We don’t need to get inside anymore.” Price says. He stands up with a groan, pressing his hand on the side of his stomach. Gaz’s eyes follow him, his hands coming out to support him. You want to tell him to sit down. He needs to rest. 
“You work for whoever pays right? How about a job so big you could retire.” Price says taking an unsteady step towards you. You swallow hard, not sure what he’s about to say. 
“Help us kill Makarov and you can name your price.” He says smiling. You frown at him and shake your head. 
“You’re out of your mind. What can I do?” You drop the bag and throw your hands up. “I’m not an assassin. I don’t kill people for fun.” 
“Yeah, I know that. You’ve had plenty of opportunities to kill us, flee. What stopped you?” He asks, taking another step. You freeze, you’re not sure. You don’t kill in cold blood, you’ve always told yourself that. Self preservation, that's what it is. 
You could have let Ghost die. Let him die in the vets and run back to the border, told Konni about them, they would have been captured but you didn't. Maybe you believed them when they said they could get you out. 
Maybe you trust them. 
“I think you’re better than all this. You want peace in your country, you want the war to end. You need to pick a side to do that.” He reaches behind you, someone passes him something. You don’t turn, you're nervous all of a sudden. Maybe they’re about to kill you. Making you lower your guard so you’re an easier target. 
He brings the object into view. It’s the scalpel, the same one you hid in the bed. 
“I think it’s time you pick a side.” He holds it out for you to take. You could take it from him right now and slit his throat. How did they even find it? Shit. Soap must have seen you. You look up at him, he has a smile on his face. He already knows what you’re going to do. You reach out and take the scalpel.
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tgmsunmontue · 17 hours ago
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Season to Taste - 40/42 WIP
Explicit Hangster - Celebrity Chef Bradley and Naval Aviator Jake Seresin who have a relationship spanning the globe before they realize how tightly bound they are to one another.
PROLOGUE/1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (interlude) 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 (interlude) 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 (interlude) 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39
(This jumps back to the hospital time wise, I think it’s obvious but stating it here for clarity)
CHAPTER FORTY – Iceman and Maverick Interlude
              Pete’s glad to be alive.
              That everyone is alive and the mission is a success on all fronts.
              Miracles on top of miracles.
              Though as he lies in the hospital bed back on the mainland he’s still trying to unpick exactly what happened from a personal point of view. Seresin’s ‘thanks for saving my life pops’ on the carrier had seemed a weird combination of sincere and wry. He doesn’t know what Bradley has told Jake about him. Because Seresin has been with Bradley since before he and Bradley reconciled…
              So he knows that Seresin doesn’t like him for some reason, and if it’s because of how he treated Bradley then he can deal with that. Understands it even... He’s used to people not liking him. However he’s never had reason to care before. He wants Seresin to like him. Well, he wants Bradley’s partner to like him, not look at him like he’d rather have left him to die.
              Okay. That’s maybe a bit too harsh.
              Because Seresin had saved his life as well, but he’d also said he was engaged to some guy called Leo. Or Leon. Or maybe Leonardo, he can’t really remember now, but it had definitely not been Bradley’s name that tripped from his lips so easily. He remembers that much. So either there are two Seresins that look identical and they both happen to be engaged to men. Which would be odd, but not impossible. Twins exist. He feels like Bradley would have mentioned that though. He needs to ask Ice. He’ll have made it his business to know.
              The other option it that Seresin is somehow engaged to two different men, which again… He’s not going to judge, he doesn’t have the full story. Maybe they all know about each other. He’s seen some shit in his life and as long as Bradley is happy that’s all he cares about. However if Bradley doesn’t know and Seresin is a two-timing asshole, well, Pete wouldn’t be averse to punching him. He’s pretty sure Ice would help.
              The third option, the one he thinks is the most likely, is that Seresin is suffering from a worse concussion than he’s letting on. That he’s forgotten the name of the man he’s engaged to. Pete himself has had plenty or practice making light of his injuries and faking it until he makes it. Seresin is likely the same and got the medical staff fooled. He just doesn’t know how to go about raising the matter. He’s still musing the issue when Ice steps into his room and he grins at him widely, signs I love you. It’s returned immediately but there’s an accompanying eye roll and displeased twist of lips.
              Uh oh.
              He licks his lips and wonders how bad it’s going to be. The fact that Ice cannot physically and verbally yell pains him sometimes; because he knows it always made Ice feel better, getting it all out and then deflating, his anger and cold fury spent. Now he mostly signs, saving talking for special occasions or moments when he just has to speak. Right in this moment, his jaw tense, Pete can tell Ice is probably wishing he could yell too.
              “I am so angry with you I cannot find words. Fortunately the anger is overwhelmed with the fact that you’re alive. But this was too close Mav.”
              He opens his mouth to say something, sorry would probably be a good start, even if he’s not really feeling it, but Ice holds up a hand indicating Pete is not allowed to interrupt him right now.
              “And then you BUZZED THE TOWER!” Ice signs, his arms flailing large and wide, hand slapping into the other for emphasis, and apparently this is his equivalent of yelling. “What were you thinking?”
              He’s not going to make his quip about not thinking, not only because it’s not true but he also hates that he’s the cause of Ice’s worry. The anger and frustration he can deal with, the worry is something else entirely.
              “That it would be my last flight on active duty…”
              As he suspected it stops Ice in his tracks, his sincerity and seriousness of his tone.
              “What?”
              Pete shrugs, and not quite every joint in his body aches, but it feels close to it.
              “Think I’m just going to stick to the mustang from now on…”
              “What do you mean?”
              “I still can’t cook but I could be the stay-at-home husband… retire.”
              “Pete…” Ice rasps out, and he looks terrified; Pete reaches out a hand, beckoning him closer. They’ve always had to be so careful, years of ingrained habit meaning that affection just doesn’t happen naturally in public. He laces his fingers with Ice’s, squeezes them as Ice lowers himself into the chair beside his bed.
              “I… I might feel differently in a couple of days. But I just… when I was flying I just had the thought that I was too old for that shit.”
              That earns him a huff of amusement and he grins, pleased with himself.
              “Still buzzed the tower…” Ice croaks out and Pete grins.
              “I might be getting older, but I’m not dead.”
…          …          …
              Tom has never dared bring up retirement, the fact that Pete has makes him feel so many conflicting emotions. He can’t imagine a Navy without Maverick in it, or Mav without flying, but the idea of him always being there when he comes home is an intoxicating one.
              “I’m worried Seresin has a more severe concussion than he’s letting on…” Pete is saying and he pulls himself back to listening to what Pete is saying and he frowns. He just saw Seresin and he’d seemed completely fine. He pulls his hand free so he can return to signing.
              “You a doctor now?” Pete gives him the finger, pulling a face and Ice snorts, glad he’s also feeling okay. So so glad.
              “Are there any other Seresins that Bradley could be engaged to?”
              Ice shakes his head, expression going serious and he looks at Mav carefully.
              “He didn’t say he was engaged to Bradley. He said he was engaged to some guy called Leon. You don’t think… he wouldn’t be engaged to two people do you?”
              Ice shakes his head, remembers something, a comment Slider made in passing, can’t remember what it is, but he’s certain he’s heard the name before. Then Pete is mumbling about not jumping to conclusions, which is laughable considering that’s Maverick’s fucking trademark. Except then he’s signing open mind and Tom rolls his eyes.
              “If it’s not that, then I think he might be suffering from a worse concussion. He’s forgotten Bradley’s name… Thinks he’s engaged to someone completely different. I didn’t want to say anything to him, confuse him any more than he already was.”
              “Have you considered that your concussion has made you forget who Bradley is engaged to?” Ice signs, glad Pete put in the effort to learn ASL. It also reassures him that even if Pete’s brain is a little shook, it’s not actually bad. Pete opens his mouth to protest then he narrows his eyes and Tom tries very hard to stop his lips from twitching in amusement.
              “You’re winding me up. Asshole. I’m literally lying in a hospital bed right now.”
              “I’m desensitized,” Tom signs, having to finger spell the last word. “Anyway, I just invited him to dinner tomorrow night,” Tom adds.
              “Who?”
              “Seresin,” Tom spells out.
              “Oh. Can I… can I invite the Daggers? To dinner?”
              He knows Pete is asking about more than just dinner. Inviting people into their home is a declaration of trust and show of vulnerability. Not one Pete often extends.
              “Of course.”
              “Great. I’ll talk to them.”
              “I’ll cook. Or Bradley can help me…”
              “Bradley is here? Bradley will take over the kitchen…” Pete mutters, but his words are beginning to slur. He’s still a little sore over the fact that Bradley won’t let him help in the kitchen. He’s been permitted to watch, sometimes help under very strict supervision. It’s been nice to see them relearn how to be around each other. Mav’s eyes are blinking slowly, like he’s going to fall back to sleep and he leans forward to press a kiss to Mav’s forehead.
              “Sleep…”
…          …          …
              He sleeps fitfully, keeps waking just to check that Pete is beside him. He is, sacked out in the spread-eagled way he always adopts whenever he’s not in a berth on a carrier or bunk. Like he has to make up for all the space he hasn’t had. He gets up finally, sets about making coffee and making some toast and eggs. Maverick was discharged with strict instructions to rest, which is always a tall order. Fortunately Mav’s body seems to be exhausted, so it probably gives him a couple of days at least before he has to begin either bribing or physically restraining him.
              He manages to rouse Maverick enough to get some food into him, and he’s awake and moving around for nearly two hours before he crashes and falls asleep on the sofa while Tom is making a shopping list; instructions from Bradley coming in thick and fast via his phone, including pictures of what things looks like and Tom just shakes his head. He forces Pete awake again and back to bed, before telling him he’s going to the grocery store. He doesn’t know if hosting a dinner is the best thing right now, considering how tired Mav is, but he knows if he tries and suggests they postpone it he’ll receive a withering I’m fine.
              He gets back, make sandwiches for lunch and takes some upstairs to find Mav awake and doing something on his phone. He frowns and puts down the plate on the bedside table.
              “No screens…”
              “I’ve got the brightness turned all the way down, it’s fine. No different from looking at you…”
              Tom isn’t quite sure how to take that, just shakes his head and takes the phone from his hand and replaces it with a sandwich.
              “Ah… there’ll be crumbs…”
              Tom doesn’t bother with replying, there have been far worse things in their bad than a few sandwich crumbs; when he glances back at Mav he realizes the thought must have shown on his face because Mav is grinning and he shakes his head with amusement. He’s received the full de-brief report now, and he plans to share it with Bradley. Seresin is likely going to have nightmares, and it’ll be good for Bradley to know why. Not that Bradley can do anything about them, but he still feels it’s a case of understanding what, exactly, they’ve just gone through. That’s still a few hours away though, and as he considers Pete lying in bed he make a decision and pulls his shirt off and undoes his belt, stripping down to his underwear.
              “Mmm… I know what you’re doing…”
              Tom grunts, slides against warm skin and closes his eyes.
              “I didn’t need an incentive to stay in bed, but thank for providing one anyway.”
              Tom grins.
…          …          …
              He wakes up to the sound of yelling and he blinks, listens closer. It’s one-sided yelling, so he suspects Tom is signing or writing… although even if he’s talking the volume is barely above a whisper anyway. It sounds like it’s Bradley. Well. Pete’s going to avoid an angry Bradley for as long as possible, he’s not an idiot. Ice has always been better at dealing with that side of him, quiet and calm whereas Pete would often yell back.
              It’s nearly five, and he feels so much better for having rested or slept all day. What he needs now is a shower and water, both of which he can get in the bathroom without going anywhere near the yelling. He starts the shower then fills the water glass beside the sink, throws back three glasses in quick succession. Rolls his neck and wonders if he should take a preemptive Tylenol for the low-grade headache. It’s not bad, but he also doesn’t want to have it distracting him from spending time with the Daggers. Plus if Ice sees him taking any painkillers later he’ll kick everyone out and insist he needs to rest. So now it is…
              He’s in the shower when he hears the tapping on the glass and he wipes away the steam and droplets to see Tom standing there, and he’s clearly been up longer.
              “Bradley is here…” Tom signs, and Pete grins. He wonders if he can tell Bradley what his sign name is, that Ice named him Baby Bird, because the initials match but they used to call him Little Goose until he asked them to stop.
              “I heard…” Pete says wryly and Ice snorts and rolls his eyes.
              “He checked on you, then I let him read the debrief report.”
              “What! Ice!”
              Tom raises an eyebrow, and he supposes of all the things they’ve done over the years this is far from the worst. Except it’s usually him leading Ice into trouble and him getting them out. For Ice to have done this… well. He’ll have his reasons and he looks completely unrepentant. Explains the yelling at least, and Pete wonders who exactly Bradley is madder with.
              “How angry is he?”
              “Very. He’s working through his anger on the vegetables…”
              “Oh. So I probably shouldn’t go in there.”
              “He’s holding a very sharp knife. Maybe leave him for a bit.”
              “Yeah. Good call.”
…          …          …
              He still hasn’t been brave enough to venture into the kitchen. Bradley has come out, wrapped him in a tight hug that made him wince, muttered under his breath in what Pete assumes was Italian and then gone back into the kitchen, closing the door very firmly behind him. Ice has gone in and out freely though, coming out with plates covered in little bite-sized bits of food, and the smells from the kitchen are making his stomach grumble. The kitchen door bangs open then and Bradley stands there glaring at him.
              “Mav! Don’t even think of it!” Bradley says, pointing the knife at him and Pete draws his hand back, shares a look with Tom who is laughing silently. Then the door is closed again and he quickly snatches a little thing off the plate and shoves it into his mouth. It’s sweet and tangy, fluffy but crisp pastry and he looks closer at the plate, wonders what it is he’s currently chewing on. It’s good. He expected it to be of course, but he wants more. A little mouthful isn’t enough. He’s reaching for another when the doorbell rings and Ice’s eyes go wide and he’s stepping toward his study.
              They realized that Mav is going to have to introduce the Dagger squad to Bradley, which is going to likely cause a bit of a stir, which he’s secretly looking forward to. And then Ice will step into the room, and Mav will introduce him as his partner, which he knows will also cause a stir. It’s the kind of chaotic energy he likes and he blows Ice a kiss and throws up the I love you sign just before he reaches the front door.
              He opens it to find most of them there, and they must have decided to carpool, or no one wanted to be first so they waited outside until they were a group. A team. He grins at them and waves them inside, offering them drinks and accepting their compliments on the smells, and he admits that he’s not the one cooking.
              “I didn’t plan this by the way, he wasn’t meant to be here, we were just going to do something simple on the grill but my godson was in town…”
              It’s not intentional, at least he doesn’t think so, but Bradley is pushing the door to the kitchen open, carrying another plate and he takes in the gathered aviators with an easy smile.
              “Everyone, this is my godson Bradley. Some of you might know him…”
              “Holy shit… Bradley Bradshaw.”
              “Your godson is Bradley Bradshaw?”
              “Just… you can just call him Bradley. Right? They can just call you Bradley?” Pete asks him and Bradley laughs, nods.
              “Yeah. Of course. Please do not full name me. Hi. It’s nice to meet you… any chance of maybe getting some names?”
              “Oh shit. Sorry… Uh. You want full names or…”
              “How about you sort out drinks while I go round and introduce myself.”
              Pete nods, because bottles of beer and glasses of wine and juice he can deal with, sorting them out as Bradley makes the rounds, shaking hands and smoothly accepting compliments and answering questions, and he supposes he’s grown into his fame. Wonders if he’s had training or it’s just all come to him naturally. It reminds him startingly of Carole, her friendly and easy-going nature before Goose died. The doorbell rings again and that’s now everyone except for Seresin, and he wonders what time Ice told him. Hopes it was the same time Pete told all the Daggers.
              “Mav… you never told us your godson was Bradley Bradshaw…”
              “I’m telling you now.”
              “This is so cool. Do you think he’d sign something for me? Of agree to a selfie?”
              “Just ask him. He’ll let you know…”
              “It’s a really nice place you’ve got here Mav.”
              “Thanks. Most of it is Tom’s taste. The garage and hangar are more my domain…”
              “Tom?”
              “You have a hangar?”
              “Yeah. Beautiful P51 in it as well.”
              There’s a cough then and Pete looks up to see Ice standing in the doorway, expression amused. Oops.
              “Ah. Tom. I believe most of you know my partner, Tom Kazansky.”
              Even Bradley seems to get a kick out of how every Dagger squad member seems to straighten up as if pulled by an invisible string, although something has spooked him and he’s pulling out his phone and heading back toward the kitchen, expression grim.
              “Talk about fucking bombshells,” Coyote says.
              “Wait… if this is also Admiral Kazansky’s house…”
              “Yeah. Where’s Hangman?” Phoenix asks, and she is the one who looks the least surprised about the whole Ice reveal.
              Then there’s the doorbell again and Pete opens it, knows Seresin has to be on the other side. Except it’s Violet, he’d forgotten Ice had mentioned she was coming as well. He accepts Violet’s hug and kiss to each cheek easily and then Hangman is there, right behind Violet, his expression tight, eyes scanning the room, giving a single nod to Ice.
              “Violet… what are you doing here?” Phoenix asks, and Pete wants to say that she’s invited. She’s like Bradley’s sister, although the one time he called her that she’d pulled a face and insisted she preferred being called his cousin.
              “I’m with him. He’s my cousin.”
              “Hangman is your cousin?”
              “Jake is my cousin… Hangman can be left at the door thanks…” Violet says, and for some reason Seresin is grinning, throwing a wink to Violet but he’s zeroed in on something, is taking steps toward the kitchen. Pete’s still trying to make sense of the whole cousin comment, because she’s Bradley’s cousin, how can she be Seresin’s cousin as well? Although not related by blood, so maybe it’s the same with Hangman? Hangman who has his hand on the door to the kitchen and Pete needs to warn him.
              “Ah, Lieutenant, I really wouldn’t go in there. My godson, Bradley, he gets really particular about who’s in the kitchen with him… and he’s already not in the best mood…”
              Seresin is looking at him like he’s the crazy one and Pete shoots a look to Ice, hand waving because some help right now would really be appreciated but Ice does nothing and then Seresin is stepping into the kitchen, someone is asking Phoenix how she knows Violet but Pete needs to see this, because he’s still not sure how Bradley and Seresin fit together. If they are actually together like Ice is convinced they are.
              “Hey…”
              “You,” Bradley says, and he’s pointing a large knife directly at the middle of Seresin’s chest and Pete steps into the kitchen quickly, needs to diffuse the situation immediately, shutting the door behind him.
              “You disobeyed direct orders,” Bradley starts.
              BANG as he slams a pan on the hob.
              “And I know it was to save Mav –”
              THUMP as he drops a large bag of flour on the bench.
              “But holy shit Jake…”
              CRASH as he grabs three glass bowls stacked within one another. None of them break.
              “Leo… baby…”
              Pete blinks. Because Bradley isn’t even put out by being called the wrong name, and maybe times have changed, but he’s pretty sure if he called Tom another man’s name he’d be out on his ass before he could even apologize or explain.
              “No! You don’t… fucking hell Jake!”
              Then Bradley is yelling, and it’s in Italian, Seresin is standing there and simply listening, like he can understand what Bradley is saying. Yelling. Huh. Maybe he does understand. Regardless, Bradley is spitting mad and Pete is reminded of him as a teenager, his inclination to lose his temper quickly, although he already seems to be losing steam in the face of Seresin’s calm acceptance.
              “I’m sorry baby… mi dispiace… ti amo…” Pete does a double take, because okay, Seresin not only understands Italian, but speaks it too. “Posa il coltello Leo amore mio… put down the knife.”
              Bradley looks at the knife with sudden realization and places it abruptly on the bench, then he’s reaching for Seresin and kissing him and Pete sucks his lips into his mouth, not sure quite what’s happened.
              “Uh…”
              Bradley and Seresin pull away from one another and both turn towards him.
              “Hmm. Maverick… And Admiral Kazansky. You kind of missed a chunk when you were telling me about them.”
              “What?” Bradley asks.
              “The fact that they’re together. A couple? Have been for decades?”
              “Uh… you said you knew!”
              “Leo! I knew about your relationship with them. Not their relationship to each other!”
              “Uh… fuck. Sorry…”
              “Mmm… you will be…”
              Pete frowns, because he still doesn’t understand why Seresin is calling Bradley a different name, and that Bradley doesn’t seem to mind. And he’d say something about the whole you will be but is fast realizing he maybe doesn’t want to know. Doesn’t need to know. Bradley is an adult.
…          …          …
              Tom cannot understand a single word of what was being yelled out just now, but Violet was standing there, nodding along, occasionally frowning and then nodding again. The other Daggers are standing around, looking a combination of confused, amused and uncomfortable.
              “Is… that’s Bradley yelling at…”
              “Maverick?”
              “No,” Violet corrects. “Jake. For being an idiot.”
              “How does he know Hangman?”
              “I mean… he just stepped into Bradley Bradshaw’s kitchen. That’s a pretty idiot move right there…”
              “Do you need to know Hangman to want to yell at him?”
              “Oh god, he probably just told Bradley Bradshaw his food was awful…”
              “Or that he likes his ketchup range and puts it on all his meals…”
              “Oh man, I would pay good money to watch Hangman sit down to a meal cooked by Bradley Bradshaw and just see him drown it in sauce…”
              “Hey. Hangman can actually eat a meal without adding sauce. I’ve seen him do it in Italy…” Lieutenant Avalone states.
              Interesting Tom thinks to himself, that they all think Hangman and Bradley don’t know each other. Yet Violet isn’t acting anyway out of the ordinary, for what he knows of her at least. And he notes that Lieutenant Trace is watching her more than anything or anyone else. Hmm.
              “Come on… I want you to come and meet my friends properly…”
              Now Seresin is tugging Bradley out from the kitchen, and Tom can’t think of any way to describe the look on Bradley’s face other than lovesick. Or simply deeply in love. Their fingers are laced together and Seresin is grinning and relaxed, despite clearly being yelled at for reasons Tom knows are in a folder on his desk. That’s fine, it helps them to remember there are people who love them waiting for them to come home safely.
              “So, I guess you’ve met my squad, but Javy… He’s special. He’s going to be my best man.”
              “Yeah. Coyote…” Bradley says, and he’s holding back a wide grin, clearly amused by something.
              “Yeah man… we met already… but… Uh…” Lieutenant Machado starts and Tom is amused.
              “Hangman?”
              “What?”
              “You want to tell us something?”
              “What?”
              “What are you introducing Bradley Bradshaw to us like you… know him?”
              “Uh. Because I do? I’m going to marry him as soon as we figure out a date.”
              “I thought you said his name was… Leo?” Lieutenant Machado says slowly, and Maverick is signing at him across the room See! See! I told you! LEO!
              Oh… now it’s coming back to him. Slider’s comment about how Seresin always referred to Bradley as Leo. Oh. This is brilliant. He ignores Maverick, which seems to make him confused. It’s kind of cute.
              “Leo. Bradley. Same person. I told you I was getting married. You agreed to be my best man already…”
              “Um. Yeah. Your fiancé is Leo…”
              “Yeah. And this is Leo.”
              “No. That’s fucking Bradley Bradshaw. We all know who he is…”
              Jake’s eyebrows go up and Bradley bites his bottom lip.
              “Because you just met him?”
              “What? No… he’s… like… famous.”
              “Hands up if you would have recognized him before Maverick introduced him…”
              Eleven hands get raised and Violet is leaning back, her arms crossed as she stares Bradley down and Tom watches with interest. He’s starting to understand Mav’s love of chaos and drama a little bit more right now. As long as he or Mav aren’t in the middle of it then it’s infinitely more amusing. No wonder Slider always wants to hear about Mav’s antics.
              “Famous…? How famous?” Seresin asks, and he’s turning toward Bradley with narrowed eyes and Tom cannot believe he’s getting to watch all this play out. Bradley is looking embarrassed.
              “Like… TV shows and recipe books and guest judging on other cooking shows and… like. Famous. We all know who he is,” Lieutenant Garcia says. “Seriously Hangman? You didn’t know you were engaged to someone famous?”
              “I don’t care about his fame,” Seresin states, a sentiment that Tom approves of whole heartedly. “Don’t think he’s going to forget about me in a hurry either…”
              “Non potrei mai dimenticarti. Tu sei il mio passato, il mio presente e il mio future…”
              Seresin flushes then, looking happy and pleased, Bradley pressing into his side and pressing a kiss against his cheek, all while Violet is rolling her eyes. Tom wonders if he should start learning Italian.
              “Giovane amore…”
              “What did he say?” Machado asks.
              “You sure you want to know?”
              “Uh…”
              “I could never forget you. You are my past, my present and my future. I love you,” Violet provides, without waiting for a further answer and there are several low whistles of appreciation, because yeah, damn. Bradley’s a romantic.
              He still doesn’t understand why Seresin calls him Leo though.
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hollyhomburg · 1 day ago
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@mocha000
oooooh I will have to track it down and find the yoongi video for you!! I will see if I can track it down later- one of the like small things about writing chapter so far apart is that i loose alot of my inspiration videos/picutres :( I love videos of bts doing normal things theres something so like- domestic about it? Idk I just love the little things. 
Okay, but if i’m not careful i’ll just talk about girl dicks and nothing else like /seriously/ if you haven’t- see? see what i’m talking about! you cannot get me started on this!! honestly i struggled with the description of yoongi haveing a knot. like how would you describe it? i don’t have a dick so- it’s kinda hard for me to put myself in their shoes. The pussy stuff is alot easier for me to like- make up tbh. 
You know I did not realize just how subby I made Yoongi when I wrote this but tbh I’m not complaining, I think it’s verry within the bounds of his charecter to want to depend on the others during these moments when things are changes in the pack structure. 
tbh i love that hobi is like- kinda a bit of a creep in this, like just a little- he might really really like watching the m/c and yoongi fuck with knots invovled we might see…the return of his facination next chapter! but thats the last smutt chapter for a little while! promsie. 
Honestly how non-verbal they both get in this is also like- fucking me up, I love that they feel like they’re in their own little world but are also like- being taken care of by the pack, the subby fantasy. 
Okay but there should have been more I love you’s in this :( that’s my one self critisizm for it. there needs to be more lovey dovey bullshit! especially her calling him perfect for her later in the chapter like! yes! thats your mate honey! sometimes i wanna take real yoongi by the ears and also tell him that he’s perfect. 
lowkey love yoongi being so so so enamoured with her being milky though <3 i love it. esepcially with tae and yoongi <3 i’m so soft for them <3 especially with the kind of shifting dymaic of yoongi being both dom and sub depending on whose doing the fucking. the dirty talk in this chapter was like so so so hard. i’m glad that you liked it and apreciated it but- some parts of it took alot of edits. 
i love that the ‘if i lick it it’s mine’ stuff didn’t seem too campy, i wanted to remind everyone with this chapter that you know- they are all kinda kids, in their midtwenties-early 30’s like- theyre still gonna be goofy sometimes, they won’t always be perfect people or say things that arent like gen z or milienialisms. 
I love that both Namjoon and Yoongi are kinda both like “yeah fuck Dr.Pearl,” and the medical advice when it comes to the m/c like- they are very very confident that they can handle it themselves. and it’s so dumb of them! but also so cute!
Honestly Namjoon deserves all the kudos for his self restraint, here he is in the nest, his omega’s acting cute and slutty and he’s just a good alpha and watches 🥰 need me an alpha like namjoon. 
the chaos and familiarity shown in this chapter is actually probably my favorite part, someone mentioned it in the teaser but yes- it does feel very real when they’re all like talking over each other and communicating togeather to cuddle like- ugh, i think one of the biggest fantasies that i have as someone who enjoys bts content is just the friendship and simple intimacy that they have. i want this story to be like- a place where you can imagine you’re in the middle of that too. 
tbh i think spanking jk was the only way that the pack could keep him seated and paying attention while the m/c was riding yoongi otherwise he would have gotten up close and personal. in my mind- jk in heat doesn’t have like- a very good idea of body boundaries? like he’s a big puppy who doesn’t realize often “hey they’re having a private moment maybe i shouldn’t go over and cuddle them” like that’s his pack of course he would be allowed to get in the middle of it? 
as for what yoongi must have said to the m/c when they lean close and have their private moment- i think it could be anything, could be a little bit of praise or maybe just them telling each other they love each other. we are also on the outside looking in at them too- so thats why i wanted to leave it up to interpretation like- whatever you most want to read him say to her is what he says. 
listen i love love love jungkook in omegaspace, i love omegaspace in general actually, there is somethign so cute and silly with it <3 i love the added edge of veulnerability it makes in the story, esecpially during sexually intimate scenes. 
yeah listen i know i was only letting hoseok have one mouthful but! but! i was running out of pretty ways to describe it :( maybe in the next chapter- because the only smutty bit in that is a yoongi x hobi scene that is 😵‍💫 a bit of a doosie. 
OKAY ON THE LACTATION BIT- i have done a bit of reasearch on this topic 👀 for reasons, and apparently it can only take a few days of constant nipple stimulation to make your body start to lactate just a little like- the quickest ive seen on forums is solid sucking for 9 hours straight which seems! a bit excessive! but i think with a bit of supliments you could very very easily make it happen. 
thank you for your comment once again <3 i’m glad that none of this slightly more extreme smutt than usual seems to have been too much <3 i always worry but i shouldn’t because you always leave such nice comments!
until next time! 
Before I Leave You (Pt. 80)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: “Come on hyung, fuck her like you mean it.”
Tags: Groupsex, Mating cycles/in heat, fivesome, exhibitionism, voyeurism, slight Jungkook x m/c focus, praise kink, Knotfucking, dumbification, mind-break, Namjoon calls Yoongi a bitch once in like a sexy way, omegaspace sex, lactation kink, false pregnancy, some good ol' tiddy sucking, omega x omega content, scissoring, pussy spanking, excessive squirting, size kink, breif mention of monstercock dildos, overstimulation kink, forced orgasam (but not in a cnc way), knot milking, mommy kink, daddy kink, trans characters, discussion of girl knot/cock, girl on top, feral sex, biting, humor, this is soft and horny and funny and sweet.
W/c: 12.7k
A/n: Ahhhh i'm sorry it took so long for me to write this chapter- the good thing is the next one won't be that far off! Until then if you like this story and want to read a different version of the beginning that has like 5+ additional chapters of how yoongi and the m/c got together you can read it here.
Previous part - Masterlist - First part
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As you can expect, there is some clamoring around Yoongi.
Everyone reaches to feel, to touch, to check. Your hand is among the others tangling with Tae's fingers then Hobi's. Every touch is exploratory, curious, and coming to terms. Shocked and happy, weirded out and displeased. There are so many emotions that everyone's scents are all over the place. Surprised, excited, and scared.
Jungkook starts to tip his head, eyes open, leaning into Namjoon's space and falling, like he can't figure out which alpha to please with the scent of a new knot in the air. Jin lets out a shocked noise, not entirely upset but still.
“Wow is he bigger than Minnie and Hobi?” “I don’t know, but you should definitely measure.” “It feels so much less firm than a normal knot,” “Like squish mellow” “And he’s got that vein! I can see it pulse!” "Wow what the fuck, it’s so pink."
"Am I dreaming it's like my dream for everyone to have a knot."
"Even the pup?"
"Especially the pup. Have you seen Tae's dick? Girl knots are like- so ugh."
Until it gets too much, until Yoongi’s hips splay, and his head tips back, breath ragged. “Guys I’m-”
"Alright." Namjoon snaps, loudly. "Everyone back off. Give him some room."
You do not back up, you curl up around your mate's body protectively, still barely conscious of the fact that you're dripping into the nest below you. But you don't really think that Namjoon was talking about you and he doesn't make you move once you snatch your hand back. Resting it loosely on Yoongi's hip, clutching at his shirt like you think someone is going to take him away.
Namjoon eyes your hand and then your face. You tip your chin down demurely like there can't possibly be any way you'd missbehave. Namjoon huffs, shaking his head before he ducks down.
The pack alpha examines Yoongi’s knot under an appraising eye. His big hands turning it this way and that, Yoongi’s eyes roll back no one gives him shit for rocking up into Namjoon’s touch, needy.
Does knotting always feel this way? There’s pressure in his lower stomach, a tightening that makes no sense. That sort of feels like his self-control is spiraling away or dangling on the edge of a very precarious edge. Like all of him is about to break or perhaps be made whole.
Yoongi doesn't like thinking of sex as something necessary for love. But knotting certainly feels like a cross between the two.
No wonder why alphas are such knotheads. If fucking always felt like this, like the sex equivalent of a full body hug that lasts for hours, instead of a singular moment of euphoria and closeness. Yoongi would never want to fuck any other way. No wonder why they're so possessive too.
This feeling- Yoongi’s not addicted, not yet.  
You hook your chin over his shoulder to watch, sniffling. And Yoongi is a little too aware of you. The way your body lies against his arm, the dewy brush of his wrist on your stomach as you set your body against his. He must be going insane; he must have bit you again and given you a fresh mating mark. Because it feels like he can feel the mating mark wrapping around his cock.
You're a little more lucid because the pack’s sour scents cut through the breeding haze.
“Is Yoongi like- presenting?” Your voice sounds so small, so fragile. Yoongi bares his teeth at it. He tips his head into yours, nosing at the side of your face. Trying to reassure you. Trying not to bite. Hissing when Namjoon once again pulls at the skin of his knot.
“I don’t think so,” Namjoon says carefully, slowly. Reaching for Jin's glasses on the edge of the nest (because they're roughly the same prescription) so that he can take a look at the underside of Yoongi’s cock and the scent glands just below it.
They’re not puffy and not swollen like an alpha's. Alpha's knot to scent mark, not just breed. It's surprisingly a relief knowing that not all of Yoongi's biology has changed.
"He’s like still a beta? Right?”
“As far as I can tell yes.” Namjoon hesitates, poking at Yoongi’s knot harder. Eyes flicking up to measure his response. Yoongi does not snap at him, doesn’t do anything but lean against the column of Namjoon’s arm like he’s having a hard time holding his body up. When Namjoon puts his hand on the base of Yoongi’s throat, he doesn’t do anything but close his eyes.
"No- if you were an alpha you'd be biting my head off right now. You're definitely not presenting" Namjoon decides, begging that it's true. His own instincts are just a hum beneath his skin.
Namjoon might be a man of science, but he does trust his instincts more than he’d ever willingly admit. Namjoon's inner alpha is not chomping at the bit for a show of dominance and is not threatened by the sudden muskiness of another foreign knot. A shock in itself. Any scent of an unfamiliar knot combined with the smell of their omega in heat would make any of the alphas, even hoseok the tamest one, go feral. Packs work that way.
Beyond an extra layer of horniness, Yoongi’s thick chocolate scent has not changed. Not even a little bit once Namjoon sniffs and rolls the taste of it around on his tongue.
Namjoon presses the side of his face to Yoongi’s neck and closes his eyes. You can feel Yoongi’s heart flutter with how you’re holding onto his arm. After a moment namjoon pulls away. “You’ll be fine.”
You sag, a bit in relief. Yoongi? An alpha? If Namjoon says he’s not you believe him. Your brain is too hazy to think straight. But you decide you’re glad he’s not. Yoongi’s perfect- you’d hate it if something changed without his say-so. You babble, say it. And your mate covers his face.
“If I had to bet, I’d say it’s the mating mark. I’d like to take tests but-” Jin’s head jerks up, scent souring. Sensing a trip to the hospital before it’s even been said. Jungkook’s eyes on Yoongi don’t blink, grinning down at that knot with his hair in his face, already excited and dopey. As if talking about the hospital is enough to summon another seizure.
“After maybe. If it’s still a problem.” Namjoon caveats, pausing to rub down Yoongi’s arm, soothing him. Yoongi is still trembling. Still shaking so hard that he can't really move with any coordination.
“Has anything like this ever happened before?” Seokjin asks, carefully. Pillow over his bare lap. Namjoon has the good sense to at least put on some shorts. Jimin looks at Tae quickly and Tae does not return his gaze. Some secret soulmate conversation going on between them that you can’t read.
When you look up at Hobi- he’s watching your face. He doesn’t look away but after a moment he shrugs as if to say ‘Our beta has a knot- so what?’
“I’ve never heard of a beta popping a knot. I’m not sure. I think this might just be us.”
You groan, hiding your face under Yoongi’s chin. His breath heaves, and he turns back to you, nuzzling back.
“Is it my slick? Or the mating mark? Did I do this to him?” your eyes are wet, tears already threatening. You are already generally sensitive, and even more so in heat. Yoongi eases away your worries with a quick kiss to the side of your face. Cutting off your guilt before it has a chance to build.
“None of that now. If I had to change for anyone I’m glad it’s you.”
The pack is quiet around you, all in varying states of nudity. Quiet at the truth of what he says, how suddenly deep this has gotten. But he's right, you'd change for any of them. You wouldn't mind either. Yoongi rubs your cheek and you pull yourself half into his lap for a cuddle. Needy, too worn down to let it go. Yoongi’s hands go around your waist keeping you close. You melt into his arms, still sniffling.
"Your dick was perfect before though-"
"Sweetheart " he groans. You pull back from him, glancing down at his lap.
"What? I'm just saying-"
“Don’t look at it!”
Hoseok chokes back a laugh and tries to keep it in, but before you can help it everyone's laughing and covering their faces with their hands to keep from smiling. 
“You didn’t cum at all. Did you?" Namjoon asks, eyes dark. Yoongi starts to lift the hem of the shirt you wear, showing.
“No, I didn’t.” Yoongi can feel a bit of skin at the base of his cock, still loose, still half popped. If you weren’t more preoccupied with holding your mate and controlling your weepyness. You’d be more curious about the knot pressed between your legs.
Maybe this is just resource-guarding. Classic omega in heat, of course, the most valuable resource is your mate. 
“You know” Namjoon hesitates, looking from Yoongi to Jin. “Popping a knot without ejaculating sperm is kind of medically dangerous-”
“Namjoon-” Jin scolds.
“Sorry- without Cuming is actually kind of dangerous. Especially because it’s like, not typical for you to have a knot.” Namjoon licks his lips, "We should probably make sure that it's like- working."
You don’t know if it’s hornyness or just Namjoon being concerned for Yoongi’s health (probably a little bit of both) but you perk up. Blinking at the pack alpha who looks a little strained. A little like he’s trying not to look too much.
Across the nest, Jungkook shuffles forward, blatantly eyeing Yoongi’s knot like he’s just found his new favorite toy. But no sooner is he putting his hand on the beta’s tight before Jin is pulling him back the collar. "No no no pup, that's not yours yet."
He lets out a little bereft whimper but you hardly notice. Eyes bright and directed up at Namjoon. Like it honestly hadn’t occurred to you that now that your mate has a knot that means he can use it. Yoongi can knot you now. Pack Alpha is so smart! You don't know how it didn't occur to you yet but-
Oh, you really want that. You really want Yoongi to knot you.
The self-consciousness Yoongi felt earlier is entirely forgotten. You’re a little dumb in heat. A little floaty. Yoongi doesn’t mind. This is why you have packmates, to make these complicated decisions for you.
Yoongi’s hands are still firm around your waist. If Yoongi does have a knot now, for the time being, then you should get first dibs.
You whine, he was perfect without it really but you really really really like knots, your squishy omega brain is convinced that you need it. That it’s yours and your packmates are suddenly keeping it from you. You bare your teeth. No bite, all bark. You'd actually growl at them if Yoongi’s hands didn't clamp down around your waist. Hard. Harder than he usually touches you. It jogs you out of your reverie.
Marks. Kis fingers hold you hard enough that you could have bruises. Good. You want marks on you and on him. Your mating mark isn't enough. Not now, not with Yoongi having a knot.
“Should I, should you-” The pack settles in, ringing both you and Yoongi, as you stare each other down, both of your scents spiking wildly as you take each other in. Seeing each other in a new light.  
Yoongi laughs, deep and rough. And you get shivers down your spine. Your voice is high-pitched and squeaky from the strain. "Don't tease me."
He nudges the underside of your jaw with his nose. "Come on, it's sorta easy" his teeth brush your mating mark and you gasp, the threat of a bite but not a bite at all. "and you like it."
The pack looms closer so close they can reach out and touch, can reach out and feel. "Should we watch? I think we should watch" “Yes. Definitely yes.” “Yes, I think we should, yes please.” "they're so pretty when they fuck."
But Jungkook huffs, a little bratty, a little bit upset that there's a knot he's not allowed to ride. "Can't I get one lick?"
"No Koo" Jungkook jerks against his hold.
"If I lick it, is it mine? While she rides it does it count if I lick it?” Jungkook gets dragged over Jin’s lap for that one, completely happy with it as the other omega lands several swats over his behind. Giggling as he goes.
The slapping sounds are distant. Jungkook's skin glows from the force of the hits but his cheeks are round from his smile sweet. A Spanking? You'd like one of those. Maybe you can provoke it from one of your packmates sometime later. You might need a settling after this.
Your brain is a mess of wants and instincts. But a spanking can wait. Yoongi's knot presses just under your pussy and you grind onto it experimentally. Tingles of pleasure filling your whole body. Good. It's so good. You snarl.
“No. No Jk- pup”
You are not paying attention as Jungkook tries to claw his way over to you; laughing, making a game of it. You and Yoongi are not speaking but you are communicating. Every grit of his teeth says mine, and every twitch of his hands on your hips says keep going. You look down at your mate and lick your teeth, polishing your canines as you eye him. The line of his throat. The pinkness of his nose. His chest- everything.
As Yoongi huffs, half fond. Cheeks slowly warm the more your eyes roam, the more you look and hunger. 
It’s not that you’ve never been a sexual creature and it’s not that Yoongi has never seen you want him. But too often have you been like Noodle. Too frequently has he been the steward of your lust, carefully encouraging it and letting you be fickle and safe. Every time you've had sex you've been timid. he’s always letting you know through every breath that you’re not too much and that you can have it in any way that you want.
But now- now you’re eyeing Yoongi like you want to eat him.
Your brain is too syrupy and slow to do more than grind against his knot (like I said, all bark, no bite) your pussy dribbles onto it. The glide of your slick hole so much against such sensitive skin, pressed between your body and his. An omega possessed. An omega on a mission. 
He’s been on the business end of many knots but this- this is different. Your eyes are open hardly blinking, Jungkook’s hands trail up Yoongi’s thigh to his hip.
"You're hiding it-" he whines, bratty. But gets snapped back into the alpha's waiting jaws. More spanks. until someone, Jimin maybe is tugging at Jungkook's cock between his legs while he gets plugged up by Namjoon's knot. Namjoon's the only one out of all of them that can truly distract Jungkook. Can possibly stop him from trying to covet Yoongi.
Yoongi's knot doesn’t belong to him. As his mate you have rights.
You push him back to lie in the nest and Yoongi lets you. It’s instinct to straddle him, to get him under you where he can’t move. Even though you don’t usually fuck like this with you on top. You don’t know why this in-heat version of yourself seems preoccupied with riding or not riding, maybe it’s a control thing or vulnerability.
Your body is unused to the heat, unsure of quite what the edge of want and don’t want to meet. Unsure if you want all the control or the complete lack of it. You are weak to your instincts. Weak, even though you know if you just lied back Yoongi would take care of you.
Your instincts give you neither choice nor reason nor want for anything, anything but this. Hoseok's hands slide up Yoongi's knees, touch your lower back, everything. Everyone everywhere touching both of you. Egging you on with their bare teeth and wildly sweet scents.
The head of Yoongi's cock slides up and through your slick, catching on your hole for a moment before it pops away,
You don’t know who guides Yoongi’s knot to your fluttering hole, only that it’s there. It’s easy to sink back, eyes furrowed as you concentrate on the feeling of getting Yoongi’s knot inside of you, cheeks warm at the eyes of the pack on you.
Beside you Tae paws at Jimin’s knot he makes a nose in his throat, but Tae’s all smiles. “Minnie likes it.” She croons in a singsong tone. Hooking an arm around his waist and sliding her hands under the elastic hem of his boxers to toy with him.
There is breath on the back of your shoulder, condensation turning your skin dewy. A hungry alpha ready to swallow you whole. Looming. You don’t look to see who it is, who's looking over your shoulder watching Yoongi’s face as you ride him.
You have a sinking suspicion it might be Hobi.
You fall into a slow rhythm appreciating the way that it feels, nudging at your entrance. Filling you routine. You’re getting better at this setting the pace on your own. Moving at a steady rhythm. A rhythm that makes you sigh and squeak. Your body feels so far away. The ache in your knees, the soreness in your hole, and the tiredness in you are all impermanent compared to the pleasure.
You focus on the feeling of your hands on his chest and the pleasure that comes with fucking yourself down on his knot. It’s a good knot. Not too big, not too small, just right. Everything about Yoongi is just right for you. You mewl as you speed up your pace. Instincts burning for more more more.
Sweat bleeds down your back and Yoongi’s jaw rolls, unblinking below you. Someone wipes away a bit of drool on your jaw and you can’t find it in yourself to be embarrassed. Tipping your head back.
“Does it feel good pup, the way his knot feels in your little hole?"
"Not so little anymore," Tae snickers, "she's practically bouncing on it."
Yoongi’s knuckles are white with how hard he holds your hips, doing his best not to guide your rhythm or disrupt it. Someone's hand is in your hair, tugging and tangling with it, pulling you up and down.
Namjoon leans down to whisper in Yoongi’s ear. “Good huh? Pussy fucking you up hyung? Gonna be a little bitch and make a mess in our pup? Gonna put your little knot where you want and breed her?” 
Yoongi lets out an achy moan. And hope that you didn’t hear that. Or feel how it makes him twitch and pulse. Knot seconds from popping. Already mostly popped from before. He’s not going to last. Yoongi knows it will be quick.
"Bet you can feel how I fucked her open for you huh?"
Yoongi does not pause to push Namjoon’s face away as the alpha bites his shoulder- his ear- his everywhere. Namjoon's not nearly as unaffected as he pretends to be but Yoongi is too focused on you.
Yoongi has always been the perfect fit, not quite as long as Hobi or as thick as Jimin or the type of knot that makes you feel it for days after like Tae and Namjoon. It’s a good thing you’re a size queen because now you can fuck yourself down on Yoongi’s knot, regardless of the size it threatens to swell too.
Yoongi’s knot is about as thick around as Namjoon’s cock is normally so you still struggle to go all the way down, but stretching yourself around the wideness is good, feels nice. Sates the fire inside of you. His knot presses all nice and hot snug against that spot inside of you. You babble it, saying how good good good your mate is, how you can feel his cock stretching you out and breeding you. Almost mindless from pleasure.
Almost but not yet.
Yoongi slides his palm from your stomach up to your sternum, under the black shirt you wear, stroking over your skin lazily before his fingers tangle in the material, pulling it. using it to guiding and goad you into fuck him faster. Saying nothing. Eyes on you. Dark and heavy-lidded.
To shut you up (not because he wants you to shut up but because he wants to hold off from cumming for as long as he can). Yoongi gets his feet under him and drives his hips up. Fucking up into you. Faster and faster until you can tell you're almost taking all of it. All of it. As much as you can.
“That’s it, there you go baby. Fuck her like an alpha. She wants to take it, you just have to help make her.”
“Come on hyung, fuck her like you mean it.”
Beside you, Tae's hand works underneath the waistband of Jimin's boxers, a thumb hooked there lazily. Stilling for a second. Her knuckles wrapped around his knot probably. Hobi is tucked along Jin's side, hips stuttering working. Watching you and Yoongi. Namjoon grins, showing his teeth.  
You have almost all of his knot in you now, everything but the widest bit, just a little more, just a little and you’ll have it. You bounce up and down on it experimentally. You grin, very very convinced that you don’t have to wait for Yoongi’s knot to go down to continue.
Your mate's hands circle your wrists, holding them hard, pulling you down hard every time you pick yourself up, trying to keep you stationary. But Yoongi’s needs are very very far away in his mind.
It’s almost better this way, looking down at him, working your body down his knot. Testing the give and breathing through it the way that Namjoon has taught you to breathe through taking his knot. The pack all around, watching you and encouraging you. They're so close, it sort of feels like they're all fucking you this way.
Tae’s fingers dimple in your thighs and Jk rests his head along Yoongi’s tummy so he can watch his knot sink inside of you as a treat when he takes his spanking like a good pup. A strong hand in his hair to keep him from moving forward a few inches to lick. Pout on his face. When your pace stutters, body overtired from heat, Hobi's hand goes under your thigh to help pick you up, taking the weight of your body for you.
You finally get Yoongi’s knot inside of you, but it doesn’t stop there, you put your hands on his chest and pick yourself off of it again. It tugs but slips past the rim of muscle after a second, slick sliding down the big swollen curve of it. It takes some finesse, but your body gives way and his knot is once again hovering just on the precipice.
Then you sit yourself back down.
Jimin’s breathless curse against your throat feels almost guttural. You hardly hear it too focused on fucking Yoongi’s knot like a cock.
 “Fuck, omega's knot fucking is-” 
“It’s hot,” Jin says, leaning down to brush Yoongi’s sweaty bangs from his forehead. “How does it feel honey? Feeling your mate around your knot? All good? All nice and snug?”
“She’s-” Yoongi pants through it breath ragged, close to cumming, knot pulsating. “Warm” his voice is strained and he scrambles to reach for you. Yoongi’s lap, his whole stomach really, is covered in your slick. The slide is almost too slippery. If you weren’t concentrating so hard on keeping rhythm you’d tell him you love him.
“Overwhelming, feels like- feels like- fuck-”
But you know he already knows, can feel it in the way he touches you. The way he looks at you. Everything.
You squirt, wet noisy, little dribbles of cum flicking up across his chest, clamping down around his knot so hard that Yoongi has no choice. Your pace stutters and you sigh. You hardly notice the pleasure rocking through you, hardly notice as you start to tremble. Little ‘hng’ noises pushed from your throat with every sweet jut of Yoongi’s hips. Still fucking his knot all the way in and all the way out.
Yoongi fucks the same way he talks, sweet but firm. He cums that way too. Warm and slow. You feel every syllable and every drop.
But Yoongi has no words for the ecstasy of knotting you. Groaning deep, more guttural, more animal than you’ve ever heard him sound. Cumming, knot popping fully. Finally. Your legs shake and your head drops as it throbs and swells.
You finally stop riding him but he keeps pulling you down at the same second he sits up quick, until he's sitting with you in his lap. Wrapping his arms around you. Whipping your hair from your face, cupping your cheeks, forehead to forehead.
A bit of your squirt drips down the seam of his hip, the place where his thigh and stomach wrinkle. Staining the nest a darker shade of pink.
But there are hands to settle your giggles, his knot pulsates, and you feel wet and warm inside. You ease up and he holds you for a moment. Skin to skin. Breath to breath. Both of you panting through your comedown.
The others fall upon you.
Jin's hand cups your stomach, and Jungkook's teeth drive into Yoongi's shoulder with a quiet yelp and a 'yah jungkookie'. you love how grumbly yoongi gets when he's feeling sensitive but safe.
Namjoon tilts your chin up and kisses you, messy and filthy. When you part you feel dizzy from lack of oxygen. You can't yet register that you're panting, breathing heavily. Still sort of cumming. One orgasm blends into another. Having them around while Yoongi’s inside of you is so much. Good, but a lot as Tae strokes down your spine.
“Did good alpha?” You ask Namjoon.
“Did so well, so so so well taking Yoongi’s first knot.” Now he'll understand how possessive we can get of you. Now he'll get it.
Yoongi ignores him, but around you, the air is thick with the scent of the pack's pleasure. Hoseok ruffles Yoongi's hair than yours, you nuzzle into his wrist. Tae's hands are hungry, and exploratory.
(They watched you through all of this but never once did you wonder if you were pretty, never once did you worry about how it looked, if it was enough. There is a simple love that's here. A simple love between all of you. Through your heat- you've never once been self-conscious. With Yoongi’s knot snug in your pussy, and everyone praising you, you can't find it in yourself to be nervous or worried or feel anything but bliss).
There are familiar hands everywhere- reaching down, feeling where you and Yoongi are connected. The wet slick glide of an omega properly seated on a knot. Tae’s lips pressed against your tit while her delicate fingers paw at your pussy, not a kiss, not a suck, but a pout.
You let her until Yoongi hums, overwhelmed, and then lean down to bite her. Popping back, licking your teeth, echoing a soft "sorry" when you've realized what you've done.
Yoongi shivers as Jin runs a hand up and down his stomach, knuckles brushing yours. Namjoon crowds in behind you. Pushing you both down into the nest. His pack alpha herding tendencies are at play but he’s a warm and reassuring presence behind you. They all settle in to cuddle you and keep both of you safe until Yoongi’s knot goes down long enough to make sure that you’ve been adequately bred. 
Everyone's sort of lying on top of each other. Namjoon behind you, Jin behind Yoongi, Hobi trying and sort of succeeding in squirming his way in between Jin and Yoongi. the pack are noisy. but you sort of love the noise.
"You're pinching my skin hyung." "Wait wait wait, this will be more comfortable." "Namjoon she needs room to like-breathe." "Ow my knee like- cannot stay in this position." "Jungkook!"
The older omega lets Hobi muscle his way in. Pressing a kiss and a nibble to the back of his neck in admonishment. Jungkook sprawls across all of your stomachs and Tae rings the top and Jimin the bottom, guarding you and Yoongi against the door. Classic alpha.
Tae runs her hands over your hair, scratching at your scalp with her long fingernail. You push into her touch like a cat. She does it to you, then Yoongi. Yoongi’s hands skim up and down your hips and he’s breathing heavy.
“Love you,” he says.
he closes his eyes first but you just watch him. A chorus of voices join but you lean down, pecking him over his eyelids. Covering his body with yours. He doesn’t need to worry about anything.
Yoongi wraps his arms around you. Mumbling something into your ear quiet enough that the rest of the pack doesn’t hear. But let it remain a mystery. Let it remain for just you and him.
You rest and cuddle. And Yoongi keeps twitching inside of you. Every time you think that he’s done and that his cock can’t possibly give you anymore he starts to twitch again. Cuming just a little bit more.
It almost feels like Namjoon, who cum's a proportional amount to the size of his cock. Yoongi never normally cums this much, but you can't say you're complaining. One hand resting protectively over your tummy.
You hear Jin's familiar 'tsk' and fingers are at your hole. They guide a bit of spend back up into it. But your eyes are already closed.
You were already tired before and your heat still rages. It's not fire anymore. Something in you satiated. It's not a raging inferno but the kind of warmth that glows from coals, that sizzles on the edge of your skin, like deep-seated honeying of suns and far away stars teeming with wishes and life-giving warmth.
Yoongi decides that he wouldn’t mind doing this, just when you go into heat. He’ll get tests done later; Namjoon will drag him to the hospital after this week to take his blood and measure his hormones.
Dr.Pearl and another beta specialist will come to the conclusion that it’s both your mating mark and your slick that caused a momentarily biological shift that’s temporary at best and a one-off probably (it won’t be a one-off, Yoongi will grow a knot through every one of your heats after this). They’ll prescribe Yoongi less of your slick and a bit of distance from your scent during your pre-heat (both professional opinions that Yoongi will opt to ignore because seriously what the fuck?)
For now, you settle down atop him, keeping his knot safe inside, and go to sleep. Not before feeling each one of your packmates press a kiss to the place between your shoulder blades. Surprisingly sensitive, surprisingly ticklish. You feel it all. The brush of Hobi’s nose, the skim of Tae’s long hair. The plush feeling of Jimin's lips more like petals than skin. The brush of Jin and Namjoon’s stubble. The nibble of Jungkook's teeth.
Yoongi’s lips remain planted to your forehead, he sleeps that way through the rest of the afternoon. The little huffs of his breath tickle your baby hairs, and you can’t say that you mind.
Being the lowest member in the pack’s hierarchy means different things for each pack. Especially with two older omega’s in heat, and you below them in the hierarchy.
As the days drag on, you feel like a bit of a chew toy (not that you’re complaining).
As the lowest packmate in the hierarchy, you bear the brunt of it when their instincts shift from hungry to nesty. The breeding’s mostly done (mostly, but not quite) now is time for nesting, for preparing. It takes time for seed to take. That time that you spend cuddled close. Safe between Jin and Jungkook. Walled in on either side, safely tucked between their chests. Both of their heartbeats beat through either ear.
At least until you wake up.
You omega’s are a conspiratory little bunch. The nest is deep and colorful with many spots to hide. You do not try to hide from Jinnie or Jungkook, there is no need to. the alpha’s are who you hide from, peaking over the edge of an inner nest, the walls built up a bit like an igloo. The three of you playing a pretend game of hide and seek.
Hiding from them and the pleasure that they give you. Because they want to get in the way of all your fun.
It’s not getting in the way of the fun so much as it’s partaking in it, sticking their knots where you need them- but where is the fun in simply fucking? Foreplay is where all the fun happens anyway. Bouncing on a knot can get so boring.
Unless it’s Yoongi’s knot of course. You don’t think you’ll ever get tired of that. His refractory period is a lot longer than the other alphas, even Namjoon who tends to knot for a good 30 minutes. You’ve had him 4? Maybe 5 times since the first? And now he slumbers, hips ringed with hickeys, cock lying limp and pretty pink against his stomach, utterly spent.
You’d ridden Yoongi until he was trembling, until his breath came out as gasps and not growls. Until his knot couldn’t even pop anymore and Namjoon had quite literally scruffed you to get you off of him. Too sensitive for anymore. Twitching duly when you’d popped off for the final time, a glob of cum leaking down your hole to your other one.
And yet, you could tell by the smell of him that Yoongi was drowning in ecstasy, nothing about his scent in pain or discomfort. You did a good job. Your pack had told you, you did.
But still, your mate needs his rest, in the meantime, the omegas can play.
The morning is thick and heavy, sunlight slow moving like honey when the alpha’s start to wake to the sound of soft breathy moans. the alpha's don’t immediately register that none of them are awake and that it’s purely omegan whines and whimpers that coat the air in the sound and smell of sweet pleasure.
Honey, cake, and cream.
Jungkook giggles softly, looking down and you can’t help but smile too- dopey. Fucked out. Fucked dumb. They’re not exactly surprised that you’ve gone non-verbal. Babbling only for Tae and Yoongi when they seriously prod you for a question.
This is just another spike of your heat only… you didn’t bother to wake your alpha’s up for it. You don’t really need your alpha’s knot when Koo is so soft and when Jinnie is- honestly very big for an omega, perfect enough for a bit of comfort in your hole.
But putting the pack omega’s cock all up inside you would not be good. You want to be good for Jungkook, your nestmate who has bitten you so thoroughly your skin aches from his teeth. From your chest to your shoulders and neck. To your hips and backside. Everywhere he’s bitten you up. So that anyone who sees you will know.
The three of you giggle and rub. What started as cuddling and a bit of grinding has become something different.
You and Jungkook hover above Jin lying down, Jungkook teased him a little bit ago for his grandpa's behavior, for not wanting to move and being too cozy. His omega cock stands hard and proud. Not terribly big, but not as small as Jungkook either. You and Jungkook seem not to notice the difference.
You and Jungkook sit perched above Seokjin, the pack omega’s hands roaming without care. His face is pink and his eyes are half closed, sleepy, and happy to let you and Jungkook take what you need.
At least Jin’s heat is near ending. Your and Jungkook’s roar in the meantime. You grind into each other, tummy to tummy, Jin below the two of you left to lazily rock up into the drippy sweet cleft between your pussy and Jungkook’s cock. It’s all very slick as you move against each other. Rubbing and grinding and giggling.
Hoseok blinks awake in the nest, picking himself up with a jerk.
A combination of your slick soaks Jin’s lap, and turns the grind sudsy, almost soapy as he slides up through your pussy kissing Jungkook’s cock. Omega’s do love to scent and rub and grind; you’re doing some mixture of the two. Not scissoring, but it would be scissoring if Jungkook had a pussy instead of the little nub he calls his cock. Jungkook reaches down, tapping his cock against your clit. You purr and squeak at it.
You’re… a bit of a mess, after having been fucked by every available alpha and Yoongi so hard like that earlier- your hole is a bit of a wreck, you're leaking slick and globs of alpha cum that Jin and Jungkook are only too possessive over. Pink when Jungkook reaches down to part your pussy with his hands and sees your wrecked entrance. He's too happy to smear it all over.
You can hardly blame Koo for his fascination, dragging his own little cock and forth between the mess. Putting his cock in (not that you can even close around it, small as Jungkook is) just to feel the heat of your body and what the alpha’s did to you.
It’s a good thing that most of Jungkook’s knot collection is locked safely away in the closet. Otherwise he might be tempted to see if you can take the largest one. The one that’s larger even than Namjoon that Jungkook's only managed to take on occasion when the pack feels like devoting multiple days into opening him up. The one that often leads to multiple days of aftercare because it actually is a little medically questionable for Jungkook to take.
Jungkook might have a bit of a thing for it; a size kink. thats never more apparent than when you're close. when he puts his hands around your waist and his hands almost meet. Watching you take things that look too big, that fuck you dumb like this is jungkook's favorite.
Now that the alphas aren’t making him feel so…so omegan, so fucked out. He’s sorry he missed most of it. He wants to see it again, wants to watch you get fucked open on namjoon's cock.
Jimin lifts his head from the nest, doing a double take and cursing when he realizes that it's not a wet dream just- just real. Namjoon rubs a hand across his jaw, sitting up on his knees in the half-darkness. Clearly he's been awake for a while. His hand goes ridged on Namjoon’s wrist but the pack alpha doesn't look down at him- he doesn't tear his eyes away from you three.
Namjoon’s cock presses up between his boxers, put on for modesty- and because normally omega’s in heat can’t be trusted not to get a little handsy. Hard, insistent. Now, Namjoon wishes that you'd get a little handsy. That would be better than just watching.
“You didn’t?…” he asks, trailing off. Namjoon swallows hard shaking his head. Namjoon already has his hand hooked into Hobi's collar, keeping him in place. Keeping him from interfering. Hobi lets out a lupine whimper. More a puppy than a man.
“Jin asked me not to intervene.”
The pack alpha’s restraint is legendary, especially when Jin giggles at the way you’re bouncing or trying to bounce on Jungkook’s cock. The pack omega tuts, and slips in besides Jungkook, half pushing him out of the way. Jimin starts, but there’s no reason to.
After fucking Namjoon there is more than enough room in your pussy.
The sight of you and Jungkook rubbing your used holes together is something that should honestly be recorded for the communal pack spank bank. The three of you pink-cheeked and healthy, and-
Knocked up. The three of you look like you’ve just been knocked up even though they know you haven't. Your skin glows healthy, your bodies supple and fed. Relaxed and loopy, showing the signs of the care the pack have lavished you with.
Jinnie's glowing too- skin smooth and blemishless, lips puffy and glossy from being kissed so much (as they should be). Although his glow is softer and less harsh. Jin’s heat is already ending, just another ten or so hours now. The fever quiets to a soft hush, a gentle need instead of a rabid one.
Was it the pack omega that dragged you and Jungkook to get off on top of him? It won’t be long now. Namjoon can tell you’re both close to cumming from the way you're shaking and the way Jungkook's breathing.
The slick glossy look of your thighs, your hiccups, the sight of Jin’s cock pressing between your slick folds, peaking out, rubbing against your clit, and the head of Jungkook’s little cock. The pack omega’s hands are hungry twitching as jin cranes back and inarticulately tucks his hands into both your holes. stroking both of them. Jin’s cheeks look round, pouting as he concentrates.
“Want pups, my pups, gimme,” you and Jungkook giggle, pressing sloppy kisses to each other’s mouths, Jinnie’s too- although the pack omega does little but pout and rock into the warmth. Into the wet.
The alpha’s watch and it’s torturous to keep themselves back. But they're good alpha's. When your and Jungkook's rocking reaches a fever's pitch and then quiets. Trembling and overwhelmed. Clinging to each other, threatening to topple.
When you’re finished there is more than one available knot, hard and aching, ready to sit on.
~-~
That’s not the last time that Jungkook seeks you out during his heat. far from it.
You’re not surprised that both his and yours have lasted longer than Jin’s (probably by a day or so). Your and his hormones spike and feed off each other, your heat spikes syncing until your packmates have to handle both of you at once. Your hand remains knotted with his, whining every time one of your alphas tries to cajole you gently away from him. Unwilling to be parted from him during knotting for comfort.
The lulls between Jin’s heat spikes get longer and longer while yours and Jungkook’s remain the same. Jungkook’s even speed up a little if anything.  
Jungkook loves going into heat with you- he really does, it feels like he’s always reaching, always craning his neck to watch you. The tender nape of his neck is bruised from the number of times that the alphas have had to scruff him docile. All of him feels Bitten and nibbled at every available opportunity.
Really, Jungkook's sort of in heaven.
The alphas never throw him around the same way they do when he's in heat. They don’t treat him like he’s delicate, like he’s precious, especially with you around to dote on and fuss with. You take the brunt of Jin’s protective instinct too.
Jungkook can be as bratty as he wants, bite whichever alpha he wants, and chirp as long as he needs to. Outside of heat they rarely ever hold him down and make him take it. They always hold back. Only in heat at his most vulnerable do the alphas really stop treating him like he's fragile.
He likes pushing their buttons and making them bite. Now, Jungkook does it because he can't stand it.
Cute aggression? It must be cute aggression.
He wants to squeeze and nibble and wreck you, Watching as jimin tucks his face into your neck as his knot twitches, your entrances stretched tight around it and your legs wide open so that Yoongi can gift tortuously small touches to your clit, all but torturing it as you seem to squirt and squirt and squirt.
So much until you’re dripping around the hollow of his wrist. Your petal pink lips parted, ready for a nibble. He'd barely satiated his desire to mark you up earlier. The haze of hormones is thicker than smoke in the air, turning his brain mushy as he listens to Yoongi beg.
“One more, just one more for me. You made me cum until I couldn’t anymore so now it’s your turn.”
You sob, but thats not a no. Your knees get brought up. Cute, plush, like a fucking stuffed animal. Jungkook once again, gets the inexplicable urge to squeeze you.
The alpha's have you both pressed chest to chest. Underneath you, Jimin continues to drive his cock in smooth efficient bunches, a knot already popped inside. You'd asked him to be mean with it and sob you do. Begging and pleading for more more more at the same time you say you can't take another orgasam.
Jungkook remains above you on his hands and knees. Namjoon lies along Jungkook's spine. Punching a groan from Jungkook’s chest with every impossibly long and thick drag of his cock. Making the omega feel all of it.
A fresh wave of your slick squirts against jungkook's chest and Jungkook's arms buckle. He sort of falls half on top of you. Yoongi hums and puts Jungkook back on his hands and knees so that he can keep touching your pussy. Jungkook rests his body against Yoongi's arm to keep himself up. Mouth open.
Jungkook thinks he might imagine it. He must, because he can feel Namjoon’s cock pressing against his tummy, feel it as the bulge kisses your skin the give of your belly button.
Your giggle feels like a punch to his gut. As your hand slides up his slick stomach to palm at the belly bulge, touch him the same way he touched Namjoon's cock through you. He loves it. He presses his forehead against yours, your eyes just as dilated and as gone as his. Rubbing his face against yours in a half kiss- half scent mark.
There's a lot of squirting, mostly from you. Jungkook likes watching you squirt. It's so pretty.
Jimin yanks his knot out of your hole, a move that he wouldn’t be able to pull if you hadn’t been knotted by Namjoon recently. Perhaps inspired by watching you knotfuck Yoongi. Pulling at you so hard that it honestly to god looks like it hurts, it looks mean. It makes you squirt violently again against Jungkook's straining abdominal muscles.
Jungkook bites your cheek. Hmm, squishy.
He bites the other side, and it blooms under his teeth.
You tremble and almost seem to pass out of a second. And then- really do pass out once Namjoon pulls back, reaches around Jungkook, and says something to Yoongi, who pulls his fingers away from your clit, you jerk trying to chase the pleasure. Only to run headlong into Namjoon’s hand, landing hard over your clit.
You gush through Namjoon’s fingers, soaking the place where he and Jungkook join. At the same moment Namjoon shoves his slick-coated knot into Jungkook’s hole.  
Your head lols back against Jimin's shoulder and you let out a single broken whimper. they're pushing you to your breaking point. (But you have a gut feeling that once you break and they put back together, you'll finally feel whole).
Across the nest, Jin perks up a little horrified. He's being fussed over by Tae and Hobi, happily doted upon while Hobi's knot rests safe inside. knot warming. Comforting Jin through the end of his heat. Hobi turns and Tae starts to get up to intervene but then- 
Jungkook giggles at your sobs, lapping at your tears. Clenching wildly and grinding back against Namjoon’s knot, the pack alpha moves him so that Jungkook can press his lips to your slack mouth.
You blink, dazed, look up at him.
“Meanie Joonie” Jungkook giggles, the omegaspace haze so thick he can hardly string a coherent sentence together. “Meanie Minnie! Meanie Yoonie! Again! Wanna see!” Jungkook moves, trying to get his hand in between your legs to spank your clit again, but his swats don’t do anything, too gentle.
Jungkook is literally getting the daylights fucked out of him right now, he hardly has the energy to lift his own head, let alone spank your pussy the way he wants.
oh, after this heat, after this, he's going to have so much fun figuring out how much you can take.
Yoongi's teeth look incredibly sharp, a little feral at being asked. But Jimin nods and fuckes his knot out of you and Yoongi spanks your clit again. You've never squirted so many times in a row but you leak like a faucet now.
The next flood of your slick lands on Jungkook’s cock. Jutting against your stomach with the force of Namjoon’s thrusts. He giggles again. Shifting closer away from Namjoon- hissing at the tension around his knot. So that Jungkook can press your slick stained and swollen tummies together better.
When he cums too seconds later, from another brutal press of Namjoon’s knot to his prostate and a mean pinch to the head of his cock- he giggles and uses his hand to spread his spend over your stomach.
You’re already lost to exhaustion. But Jungkook pecks your nose, tucks his face under your throat, and goes right to sleep. 
When Jungkook wakes, he's still like that. He's not being filled, and things are calmer.
The freshly fallen night is a hush on the edge of the nest, There is a different need coursing through him. A different sort of wanting. A physical hunger. His body is exhausted, sore, and bitten.
Your chest smells like Tae's lipstick, like her kisses. Jungkook’s pretty pretty pretty alpha, the prettiest alpha that is on the other side of the nest, talking with Jin and sharing soft kisses. She must have come over earlier to check on you, must have kissed you here.
Jungkook is dimly aware of her soft words, “Do you want a knot Jinnie? Some food? Some water? A cloth? How are you feeling? Does anywhere ache my love?”
Jin's answering hum is exhausted but happy. After a second he quietly admits, “My thighs hurt.”
Yoongi is summoned, Hobi too. To squeeze and help relax the pack omega. The sound of his squeaky laugh and shy moan a welcome return.  
Jungkook dozes while you and Jinnie rest, his body over your body, lined up chest to chest, nuzzling first at your throat and then lower when Jungkook's instincts tug at him. The pack is not as worried about him being snappy. They've long since decided that whatever happened at the beginning of the heat was just that- an anomaly at the beginning. Both of your instincts settling.
But now, Jungkook crouches over you like an alpha might. Protective.
Possessive.
There is something syrupy sweet in the air, just below your skin. Jungkook couldn’t smell it until he started nosing at your throat, but now he can. Something laces through your veins, something that smells divine, something that he can almost taste, like sugar only sweeter.
He begins to move lower.
Your breasts smell like Tae, like alpha, they’ve been given so much attention, teeth marks and bruises line your areolas, Tae has sucked your nipples pink and sensitive and stiff puffy already. Imprints of Jungkook’s pretty alpha and her pretty teeth stay there like a shadow, a bruise. There is a word you call her, 'mommy.' He likes it when you call her that. It has Jungkook’s pretty alpha smelling muskier and impossibly prettier.
Jungkook’s mouth is perilously empty, it's starting to bother him. Jungkook lips his lips. Dry.
Her voice comes distant now, your hands push at Jungkook’s shoulders when he noses, but only briefly before Jungkook’s pretty alpha tuts, holding you still and keeping you from squirming as he noses, pushing through your sweet skin, searching for something. Girl omega’s are so soft. So soft everywhere.
Jungkook loves it. Is this Omegaspace? Or pupspace? Or some combination of the two.
Something starts squirming underneath him, a chest rising and falling, a heartbeat beating rabbit prey fast. But the squirming stops as quickly as it begins. Jungkook's pretty alpha looms closer, coming to see what you're fussing for and cooing at your quiet squeaks and chirps.
Tae's wrist is close, close to Jungkook's teeth as she grabs your wrist and holds you steady. Restraining you gently. “Let Jungkook have at you pup, he’s been a very good omega, don’t you want to help soothe him?”
Of course, Tae does not notice that Jungkook's going after something new, and does not notice that this isn't normal soothing. Sucking at your chest is her favorite thing. She doesn't think anything strange of Jungkook's hungry licking and desperate sucking.
There is some sweet whining on the edge of Jungkook’s senses. Independent of the sweetness beneath his nose, the warmth reaches his lips and he opens his mouth to suck. His breath going ragged.
Closer, closer still, warm and soft against his face, like a nest made flesh, like Jungkook’s nest in one person.
Jungkook sucks at your chest, lips pressing once they find the source of it- of that smell. Your nipple on the roof of his mouth is exactly what he'd been missing. Comforting. You are so soft, so soothing. He likes it. There is no fire from heat with you here at his front and yet, Jungkook still burns. The sweet smell under your skin is closer this way. Jungkook needs it, needs you like water. Clinging.
His taste buds spark with something, just a little at first then more the more that he sucks. Jungkook makes a soft sound and Tae just shushes him. Alpha, he wants to speak, alpha found it! His squishy Omegaspace brain wants to tell Tae. The urge to show and tell is quickly overridden by the need for more.
It's so sweet. So fatty that Jungkook's head spins. Mouth filling with liquid that tastes like you, but a bit like Jinnie too.
You taste Milky.  
Jungkook's eyebrows come together and Tae teases, her fingers running against his cheek slowly filling. throat bobbing Her voice sounds like it does when she's grinning. Tae can be forgiven for not immediately realizing what’s happening because Jungkook is swallowing it down before any of it has a chance to make it to open air, gasping and sucking wildly. Hungry.
"Oh, tasting something good bunny?" Jungkook's sure she must be smiling even though his eyes are still closed. Still half asleep but waking up.
A little more, something hot and sweet fills his mouth, and Jungkook sucks it all down, more with every tight press of his lips. Your squirming stops and you sigh, going rim rod straight for a second and then relaxing.
You're staring up at Tae all dazed and cute, letting out sweet babbles of "mommy mommy-alpha mommy please." Your toes curling in the nest. But who knows what you're asking for.
tae reaches down and puts her fingers in your mouth, giving you something to suck at, quieting your desperate whimpers.
Jungkook doesn't like it, doesn't like her touching you. this milk is his- it belongs to him. The milk sweet and fatty fills his mouth, slowly at first, then more. You stop squirming below him, sighing in relief body going slack. Jungkook's arms go firm around your waist, holding you still, holding you close.
It's good, yummy even. Jungkook sucks more and more and more without really understanding. His heat-fried brain not sorting through the facts of the situation.
"Does Jungkook feel good little pup? Is he making you feel all tingly?" Tae teases, softly now, like she's conscious of the idea of waking everyone else up. She leans down crouching over to nip at your throat. Settling you. But there's nothing to settle, your head lol's to the side, staring blankly ahead. Whimpering. drooling around tae's fingers, she takes them out and slips them down your throat. stroking gently.
"Hopefully he doesn't bite you too sensitive because it's my turn once he's done, gonna squirm and cry for me gonna-" Tae breaks off, inhaling jagged.
Jungkook's tongue rolls against your nipple, keeping a small dribble from slipping down your body. Lips parted in ecstasy, a single drop drips from his tongue onto your skin, just a little.
But it's enough.
There is something pearly, dribbled down around your sternum. Almost translucent, but still white and cloudy.
Tae blinks like she can't really believe it.
Then she growls, loud, shocked. violent enough to wake the others. Whereas before she'd been stroking through Jungkook's hair, now her hand goes vicelike and tries to pull him off. Jungkook whines and squirms, unwilling to be parted from you until Tae growls again in warning.
Namjoon picks up his head from the nest at the sound. Jin blinks awake against his throat and Yoongi shifts and shuffles awake. Rubbing his eyes with a closed fist when he sits up.
When Tae finally succeeds in pulling him off of you, he looks almost hurt, pouting up at her. Tae's gaze eviscerates him. Their eyes narrow at the spill of it, the glimmer of milk on his lips. A bit of milk dribbles down Jungkook's cheek. Traveling down his collar bones to his pectorals and abs, gathering in his belly button, in the little furrow of skin between his lap and tummy.
Tae's finger gathers it on her fingertip and guides it back up to Jungkook's mouth, a breathless growl. Incredulous, near worshiping.
"Messy puppy."
How many more biological surprises could the pack possibly have in store for them? They're a little too tired to be particularly alarmed, and yet, they drag their bodies over. To make sure, to see.
To taste.
Hoseok hangs his head, his whine supine. "Jesus fucking Christ, you-" Namjoon looks away then looks back again. Like he can't quite bring himself to watch and can't quite tear his gaze away.
“I’ve only just gotten used to the idea of Yoongi knotting and now-"
Jin wordlessly rubs a hand over his face, Jimin doesn't say anything, trying to muscle Yoongi out of the way, looking down at you with something indescribable, at Jimin's movement, Namjoon's hands go to your elbow, your wrist, and Jin snaps.
"No, everyone behave. She is not a chew toy."
Everyone goes quiet, admonished. Tae continues to hold you, still looking down, and Jin realizes that if he's not careful, everyone is going to snap. Tae is going to snap. He can see it in the tremble of her body, the curl of her teeth over her lip, her control is seconds from snapping. Her scent spikes climbing higher and higher, almost smelling like she's in rut.
but you're his pup. jin bends under the force of his instincts, checking on your first. Jin leans over you, brushing the hair out of your eyes, and revealing your glassy fuzzy gaze.
"Daddy?" you ask, confused. Jin hasn't heard that name in a little while, not that he's complaining.
"Sweet little puppy, my sweet little pup, are you alright, is it too much?"
Your hand's press and release in the nest. "No just- just hurts- aches, Koo.” Your eyelashes flutter, “Koo makes it better.”
Jungkook is a possessive little thing, hisses and splutters and clings to your front. even as yoongi and namjoon try to get him off of you You squirm looking up at Tae and Yoongi and Jin, the haze cuts for a moment and they recognize your franticness as more than just overstimulation.
"Do you want us to get Jungkook off of you?" Yoongi asks, voice husky. Namjoon holds Jungkook prepared to wrench him off of you if you say so. Jungkook isn't in his right mind, but Yoongi can't help but watch as he sucks like a man starved, throat bobbing with every swallow. His cheeks warm and round-looking. Oh, oh this is-
Yoongi is getting hard. The skin around his new knot tugging. He really really thought that after this morning when you rode him like your life depended on it- that would have been that.
You nod then shake your head. "Want Mommy to choose- want Tae-tae."
Namjoon uses the hand in Jungkook’s hair to pick him up off of you for a second. Jin has to pinch the back of his neck to get his teeth to release. Your nipple is pink and bitten when his mouth finally leaves you.
They watch for a second, but it barely takes a moment before the milk is back, dribbling out, trailing down the curve of your breast. Jungkook is still half asleep. Shifting downward happily when he realizes the pack don’t mind it if he licks up whats spilled. Bending down to lap up what’s trailed down to your tummy and navel.
Tae's nostrils flare and her eyes are all pupil, dark and brown, and glassy. Yoongi jogs her out of her reverie.
"Tae." he asks, an edge of dominance to his voice that wouldn't have sounded the same yesterday, not before Yoongi had a knot. Yoongi shakes his head, wordlessly. And he sees Tae return to herself, just a little.
You squirm under Jungkook. Upset, lower lip wobbling. "No, I want, want Koo- it- it aches-" Tears bead at the edge of your eyes and Yoongi is not thinking, not truly, when he reaches down to feel.
You whine as Yoongi toys with your chest, fingers rubbing gently over your wet peaks, rolling them until more milk beads. Mesmerized. Slowly at first and then more aggressively, tugging at them until your back arches.
"Tae," Namjoon's voice is stressed, Jimin shuffles up beside her, offering a comforting touch on her shoulder. "Tae" Namjoon repeats, a bit more command in his voice, her gaze jerks up in his direction.
"Yes"
"Can you handle this without going into rut?"
"Yes alpha." Namjoon watches her for a second longer. Judging the haze in her eyes, and then tips his head down. Permission. But Namjoon is nearby, Namjoon is watchful and wont let any of them go too far.
It’s gentle- how the alphas manhandle you, placing you square in Namjoon's lap, reclining there for your mommy to have her turn. He can hold your wrists this way, you want to squirm, need to squirm. The ache is overwhelming. You just want to full feeling to end. Jungkook was so close to making it go away.
“Be still little treasure, sweet sweet pup, let Taetae have what’s hers.”
Jungkook tries to go back. But Tae doesn't let him, muscling him out of the way until she growls and nips. Speaking with snarls and whines and not with words. But Jungkook is but a pup beneath Tae's play wrestling. She's always been stronger than him and after a brief scuffle of push and pull, he whines. Resting his head on your shoulder.
Tae can hardly think through it. Her pup, her sweet little pup, chest swelling from her attention. Was it her sucking that did this? Was it her sucking that tugged your biological impulse until it shifted into real change?
You are so perfect she could cry, she could knot the air with how horny it makes her.
Tae looks at your face, your tears spill down your cheeks and your voice cracks, "Mommy?” you think if Tae checks, if she makes sure that you’re okay, everything will be fine.
Tae lowers herself gently over you, hair tickling your skin, and connects her mouth to your chest.
Tae is immediately gone, milk filling her mouth that tastes like ambrosia, like the heavens made liquid, like home. she grinds her popped knot against the nest as she sucks and sucks and sucks. immune to your squealing. Hand reaching down to paw uncaring of your overstimulation. You're as wet between your legs as you are on your chest. Her brain is a mess of more and more and more.
For a second, Tae's alpha convinces her that she's actually done it, she's actually pupped you. Why else would you be sweetening so much? Why else would you be like this, sweet and swollen on her tongue.
You're getting slick all over the nest again, Tae can feel slick gathering around her wrist, fingers losing their concentration, so focused on getting more milk in her mouth, sucking that she forgets to finger you properly. Your chest is so sensitive you feel like you could scream. Every suck makes you sob in overstimulation.
Above you, Yoongi curses.
Each packmate must have their turn with you, once they all rouse and confusion quickly melts away into downright giddiness. It's dizzying, your eyes are closed half the time, and the other half you're not sure you can make sense of what's infront of you either.
Brain settling into that place where everything feels good, where nothing matters but the pleasure and the soft praises falling from their mouths. Namjoon muscles Tae out of the way for a taste after she's turned slack-jawed and milk-drunk. And his spiky head pressed against your skin makes you feel- makes you-
Obey obey obey. You lose track of what’s happening, but your pack does give you what you want, what your body needs. You don’t have to squirm too much before someone, one of your alpha’s or is it Yoongi? Shuffling between your legs to bury his head in your chest.
Having them feed from you is a flurry of sensations. They bury their faces in your chest, hair tickles skin, stubble pressing. Someone giggles, Tae maybe. She presses a kiss to your button mouth. Eyes furrowed as you cry and cry and cry.
You don’t understand why you’re crying, why you’re overwhelmed. But you don’t need to think too hard about it or anything. Any needs that you do have are taken care of.
The pack always know what you need, that you need to feel steady, held and kept. the second you start to push. They restrain you.
Why would you even need a breeding bench when you have your packmates to keep you still? There are hands holding you down everywhere, your wrists, your ankles. Your knees. You push against their touch just to feel them put you in your place.
And as much as you struggle to admit it, you do feel better, and less tense. Less full. Less like a rubber band poised to snap when they pull back.
You cum like that, fingers in your pussy, mouth around your nipple. You don't know how much you have or how much milk they're taking from you but it's enough to leave the alpha's milk drunk and dopey. Even Jinnie is a little dazed from it when he has his turn.
It shouldn't surprise you that Yoongi is the gentlest, pushing Namjoon away after you've come, kissing him, cursing low at the taste in his mouth.
"Really hyung, your mate, fuck-"
"Fuck." Yoongi agrees. Nosing at your chest before he latches, lips sucking your nipple into his tongue, waiting for that first spark. And oh- oh- drinking from you feels like cuddling. You could call him a sap and you'd be right but there's something so instinctual about it. He knots and you give milk. Round and round your instincts go on the merry-go-round until both of you get off.
Who knows maybe your body stopped and waited to make the shift until Yoongi's did.
You only really squirm when Jin guides Hoseok down. He's blushy and tries to pull back, But the pack omega doesn’t take his shyness for an answer without a no. All pups need to eat, all pups need to get their fill. Your milk smells so sweet, so filling. Lifeblood and love and satisfaction made sustenance. Your body wouldn’t be milking up so nicely if it wasn’t for your alpha’s. They should taste the result of their efforts.
Hoseok only lets himself take one mouthful, shivers rising up and down his body before he moves aside and lets Jimin have a taste.
Jimin- who almost immediately tries to bite and snarl. Nipping at your skin when tae jerks him away from you by his hair maw open. He's barely had a sit but that's enough for Jimin to turn feral. Immediately straining, immediately pulled in your direction. A dark purple bruise is already forming around your nipple. Too rough, Jin fusses, pulling a blanket over to you, building a nest around your body.
"No Jiminie- bad!"
Namjoon takes Jimin from Tae. The alpha snarls and splutters but whines when Namjoon snaps at his throat.
You are not lucid, not really. Eyes closed and reaching for your packmates. Someone touches you, hands frantically checking your body- but you want to tell them that Jiminie really- he just got a little teethie. It's okay. You're fine!
Tae bends to kiss it better. They guard you while the sound of snarls sound from the other side of the nest. Namjoon dealing with Jimin. They guard you. Their sweet milky pup, who could possibly be more precious?
After Yoongi has another turn, you decide dimly that it's a good thing, your body moving the edge of its tolerance and doing this. Lactating. Swelling with milk. Maybe it's because it's been so long since you've gone into heat.
After a few minutes, the bellies of your pack are warm nourished, and full. It’s okay, you can sit here like this, open and still for each of them to take a taste. Sucking your nipples pink and puffy.
“Is it permanent?” Jungkook slurs when he’s woken up a bit, yawning until his jaw pops, milk-drunk and sleepy. Nuzzling into your shoulder while Jimin gives you so much attention that you’re squirming (this time wearing Namjoon’s collar since someone needed to hold onto him and keep him from biting).
His ass glows where he sprawls and every time he so much as threatens to growl Namjoon leans over and pinches his sore behind. A warning that everything, all that sweet sweet milk in his tummy. Belongs to Alpha. Jimin can only have it if he's good.
“Is it gonna be like this all the time?"
There is a computer-cracking light on the edge of the nest, a square of light that Namjoon clicks through. Licking his lips again, although your milk no longer coats them. He brought it out earlier when Jin had questions about Yoongi, but now he’s glad to have close access to it.
“It’s fairly common with female omega’s, something about the extra glands and phantom pregnancies.” Namjoon’s voice has gone from hoarse to strong. Your milk on his throat.
Namjoon looks at you, then blushes and looks away.
You don’t know if you’ve ever made Namjoon blush like that. You still lay prone, blinking up at Tae. Wordless. Your brain is small under the feeling of so much attention. A tension in you is released easily. 
Jin gets up from the nest, so quick that he goes dizzy, he’s wearing boxers now, boxers, and a big shirt. Jin too had tasted you. A few swallows. Good, it tasted so good. But your head lolls in the nest to the side, letting out little shallow breaths as Jimin sucks at your chest, your other breast still swollen looking.
Oh, Jin's little pup. You're being so good.
Jin’s instincts bear down on him. An impressive weight that makes him buckle. “I need to go cook something. If everyone's going to eat but her- that’s- I-” Jin huffs and makes to leave the nest in a huff. determined and not the least bit wobbly.
Hoseok trails after. Lips glossy from milk, too flushed to think straight, tripping on the edge of the nest and hitting the door on the way out. Embarrassed a little- but then again everyone is paying attention to you so it goes without teasing.
Huh, the pack omega is leaving the nest. Does that mean the heat is over?
No not quite, you and Jungkook still burn with fever. It's just Jin's heat that's ended. Who knows, maybe one sip of your milk had his body reacting, reassuring him that the work is done, at least one omega got pupped during this heat (you certainly did not get pupped, the contraceptive did its duty, but your confused body has Jin's confused as well).
Although you squirmed initially, the fact of the matter is that once everyone's had a sip, your nipple sucked hard and glossy- it’s a little hard not to need it. The release of pressure, the tension. Your body makes more the more they suck.
You try to enjoy breakfast once Jin's made it, feeling warm and sleepy, bites fed to your mouth. Chewing and swallowing obediently. But it’s hard, you’re so tired. Unable to hold yourself up no matter how much they try and get you to. Limp propped against Yoongi's chest, Namjoon's, your body so heavy and so tired and now sore the second someone stops sucking.
No sooner has Yoongi slipped one of Hoseok’s shirts over your head than has wetness started to gather at the front and an uncomfortable pressure began to build. They give up and take it off because Tae is eyeing you hungrily and really. Your whines of displeasure and teary eyes are too much for them to handle. Simultaneously denied and overstimulated.
Tae sets you back against Jimin’s chest, the alpha holding around your middle. She may have had one sip earlier but now that they’ve established that yes feeding from you is something you need she’s going to hog you.
She ducks low, kissing your nose, your lips, your chin before she buries her head where you’re softest.
“Mommy mommy please.” You whine as she teases, using just her lips to mouth there, waiting until milk beads, sensitive, slip down your skin to lap it all up.
“Oh little pup, don’t want to let any go to waste? We can’t have that. You’re so sweet like this. How good you are- how lucky we are. Alpha’s fucked you so good you can’t help but milk up huh? Wanted a pup so bad that your body caught on before a pup did huh? How cute. Aren’t we so lucky Minnie?”
“So lucky,” Jimin groans, holding around your middle, hands pressed to your stomach. Slipping lower as Tae sucks.
There is some hushed whispering, a rustle of bed sheets, you blink up at the ceiling, and then a vibration sounds, and you let out a broken, “oh.” as it starts.
You turn, look, and Yoongi grins, tears bead at the corner of your eyes, but it’s hard not to rock up into it. You remember- the alphas putting a collection of vibrators and knots and dildos on the edge of the nest, in case they needed them. But it's a good reward now, an easy orgasm that hits you warm.
Your body is hungry for pleasure, endlessly hungry for it in heat. Tae laps up the center of your chest while she switches from tit to tit, both milk and sweat. Feral as she does it, a look down at her says her eyes are dark, teeth sharp.
But she’s so careful, so gentle as she sucks. Yoongi turns the vibration up higher, and you jerk, or try to. Sandwich in on all sides. Surrounded by them, carried to the precipice of pleasure by the vibrator pressed to your clit, keeping you pinned there beneath the waves of pleasure. So much. Too much. Your body is so sensitive from the last three days of this. You can’t possibly handle it.
“Can’t cum again, can’t Mommy, too- too little. Too much.” You babble, but Tae tuts. Pulling off of you, a bead of milk on her pink lips.
“Good pups cum as many times as their Mommy wants them to, come on pup, make a mess all over Mommy’s dress for me."
You obey her with a broken whimper.
~-~
notes:
namjoon is so fucking horny when he's talking about yoongi's knot and i lowkey love it, how kinda like- obviously guided by hornyness he is.
also it is 1000% the mating mark that's making yoongi have a knot like- his biology is all fucked up because beta's aren't supposed to mate, the hormones in his body that keep him neutral are being kinda 'adjusted' by the m/c's slick and mark and hormones.
me 🤝 the m/c, wanting to bite yoongi's nose.
i really wanted the scene with yoongi and the m/c to kinda be like- a final opus and like super intense, how did i do?
i struggled with writing some of the dialogue in this initially- which is so /not/ how writing usually goes for me, usually the dialogue is very easy to me but i worry that i'm getting a bit repetitive with my kinks.
honestly why do i feel the need to make the smut poetic like??? is this only for me or is this a thing???? "Yoongi fucks the same way he talks, sweet but firm. he cums that way too. Warm and slow. You feel every syllable and every drop." like thats so pretty.
the m/c bites tae because she's making yoongi overwhelmed and that's the m/cs job 😠.
okay but the reason why i describe yoongi as breathing heavy is because i personally may have...stumbled uppon a audio of his breathes and him breathing heavy and fuck if that isn't hot.
part of yoongi's smutt scene was inspired by badoobee's 'real man' so yeah, i don't really really really like the message of her song, but it is sexy so 🤷‍♀️
yoongi with the life fucked out of him: 😵‍💫 mc: i did a good job 🥰 honestly though in my mind he has trouble being in the same room as her after she litterally rides him until he can't cum anymore.
honestly jk and her holding hands while they're both getting fucked is such a cute image like fuck i love them so much. i love this version of jungkook so much- i'll always be happy with his charecter in bily.
dang, i really did make jungkook's parts super super horny.
i feel like everyone who reads this should know it's completely possible to make yourself lactate just from nipple stimulation like- even if you're male. lowkey when am i going to write a normal non-abo total power exchange fic with cisswap taegi turning the m/c into their little milksub, and they decide (because the m/c's mommies know best) that they'll put her through a sucking schedule to see if they can make her chest turn milky as an experiment! only to offer her milk up to all their friends ie the rest of bts, bonus points if she starts leaking when they're at a normal friend gathering and it turns into everyone trying it.
Similarly to how yoongi always pops a knot after this, i think the m/c also lactates through every heat after this. and then one day in the distant future after one heat it just...doesn't stop. And the pack realize it's a sign that she actually /does/ want to be knocked up or at least her inner omega has decided she's ready to actually be bred.
is this self indulgent? yes. do i care? no.
even i have to admit that i'm a little bit tired of writing smutt at this point tbh...but luckily we have just one chapter after this with smutt! and it's mostly aftercare and a lovely little spanking scene <3
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eldragon-x · 23 hours ago
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Gonna write out this idea that Silver inspired in me in a post because I'm not sure I'll get around to actually writing a fic for it and I just need more people to think about Mirabelle and Odile moments with me.
I've brought up before that it's kinda insane that Odile pulled out a spell that stopped Siffrin from looping back in time. Like whatever she used here is able to interact with Time Craft, which itself would normally kill the user.
So I think it's quite possible that she herself might suffer craft exhaustion as a result of this. Add on that the party had to run through the distorted House at night to catch up with Siffrin and that Odile isn't the most physically fit person at her age.
But maybe she pushes that aside. Siffrin was hit harder by Craft Sickness, everyone was concerned about him, the party decided to leave Dormont rather sooner than later for their sake, she can handle it.
But it does catch up to her soon enough after a long day of the party fighting their way through Sadnesses and making it to an Inn by the evening. She's tired, her body hurts, she feels ill, and she's bruised and dirty from the battles, not helped by her performance already dwindling since the party left Dormont.
So she's sitting on her bed, dizzy and aching, wishing she could take the opportunity to take a bath but feeling too weak to do so. It affects her to the point where Mirabelle can tell that she's not doing well and asks if she can help her in any way.
Odile admits at this point that maybe she didn't give herself enough rest since that day in Dormont and that she's frustrated because she can't do much at all right now. And now that she brought it up, she wonders if Mirabelle is alright, since she also performed a powerful spell that day.
Mira appreciates the concern, but assures Odile she's doing okay. The shield spell was complicated, but not so exhausting that she wouldn't have recovered over a good night's sleep. Moreso she feels rather guilty for not having checked up on Odile earlier.
All that being said, she offers to help Odile bathe. Being a healer and having spent a lot of time studying about anything in the House of Dormont, I imagine she has some degree of medical training and trusts herself to handle people.
Odile gets tense but weighting her options, decides it's probably the most logical step here and she'd rather Mira assists her than anyone else. It turns into a bit of a back and forth of them trying to assure each other that they don't have to if they're uncomfortable, but Odile wants to be practical and refresh herself, and Mirabelle can take the innitiative when she needs to and at worst will feel slightly awkward about helping someone she knows personally in such a vulnerable position.
Odile actually feels a lot more embarrassed about the whole situation because it's strange having to rely on someone notably younger than herself after essentially assigning herself as the Adult™️ of the party looking out for everyone else. But Mira doesn't hesitate, gets straight to the point, and after helping Odile settle, she stays to sit down next to the bathub in case Odile needs help reaching something or getting out, make sure she doesn't fall asleep and goes under, and tries to ease the tension for her by bringing up a book she's been reading.
Odile is surprised to hear that Mira's into horror literature but gets genuinely invested which helps her relax. Mira ends up convincing Odile to borrow one of her books and jokes that she will have to read through it while the party decides to stay at the inn for the following week so she can recover.
Odile's tempted to protest the suggestion that they should stop for over a week, just for her, but drops it. The party can take their time now, that the curse isn't threatening the country anymore. She supposes they also did promise to look out for each other, she just didn't think she'd need to rely on anyone else.
On Mira's insistence, Odile gets bed rest for the following days, with the rest of the party helping her get whatever she needs, while she picks up Mirabelle's book whenever she can.
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hungermakesmonsters · 2 days ago
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Hiii congrats on 500 I love your fics!!! Could you do sth where the reader and Billy actually meet in the marines ? Like the reader is a marine as well and Billy her lieutenant or even the other way around ? Thank youuu❤️ (submitted by @dorita06)
Aaaaaaah okay, so little known fact about me, I kind of love the soldier/medic trope in fiction, so rather than writing reader as a soldier herself, I went with making her a medic (hope that's ok!!) I had a lot of fun with this one, so I hope you like it! 😅
Stolen Moments
Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader
Story Rating : M 
Warnings : [This is 18+ only, minors DNI] Smutty behaviour.  
"I take it I don't have to explain how to look after your stitches?" You asked, eyeing the lieutenant as he shrugged his shirt back on and got to his feet.
As he stood, you found yourself tilting your head back to look at him, knowing all too well what came next. (At least, hoping you knew what came next.)
"Dunno, Doc, think I might need you to explain it to me one more time," he said as he reached for you, his fingers softly brushing against your neck.
You leaned into his touch, lifting yourself on your tiptoes as he slowly started to close the distance between you.
"Did you bang your head, Lieutenant Russo? Because this is the fifth time I've given you stitches and had to explain the proper aftercare procedure," you said, your voice getting softer as his lips got closer to yours. "Maybe I should talk to your CO, get you taken off active duty, so I can keep you here and... assess you."
Billy smiled that same smile he had the first time you'd met him, months ago in that very tent. He'd been bleeding then too, but he'd been more concerned with trying to get your name than the fact he'd needed stitches.
Of course, you'd tried to refuse him at first, tried to ignore the way that damned smile sent a bolt of arousal through you, not wanting to do anything to put your career in jeopardy. But the third time your paths had crossed, the first time he'd dared to kiss you, you were a goner.
Now, you'd lost count of how many times he'd ended up in the medical tent, needing to be patched up — sometimes for serious reasons and other times for reasons he claimed were serious just to get your attention — and how many times that had ended with him inside of you, giving you the best damned sex of your life.
Finally, his lips met yours and everything felt right in the world. He stepped forward and you stepped back, a hand behind you, feeling for the solid form of your desk.
He winced as he lifted you onto the desk. A small grunt of pain escaped him but, when you tried to pull back to check if he was alright, his fingers slipped into your hair, holding you in the kiss.
Instinctively, you parted your legs, letting him step between them, pressing his body close to yours. It was a familiar dance and you both knew the steps by heart. Your fingers tugged at his fatigues, while his pulled at yours, neither breaking the kiss or coming up for air for even a second.
You both knew that you were on borrowed time and that, at any moment, someone could rush in needing your assistance or need Billy to return to duty.
It was dangerous and stupid, something that could potentially spell then end of both of your careers, but you couldn't help it. You wanted him, needed him in a way that didn't make sense to you. And, no matter how many times you did this, no matter how many times you patched him up or he slipped into your tent after curfew, you knew that you'd never have enough of him.
And, as your hand slipped into his fatigues tograsp his already hard cock, you knew he felt exactly the same way.
"Lieutenant Russo," you murmured against his lips. "I'm starting to think you're getting injured on purpose just so you can come see me."
Billy grinned against your lips, kissing you again instead of answering your accusation. It was probably better that way — the last thing you wanted was thoughts of him being seriously hurt in your head, especially while you were stroking his cock.
A laugh slipped out as he tugged your pants down your legs and almost managed to pull you off the desk with them. That was your cue to lower his combat pants, pushing them down to his thighs.
He stepped forward, clearing the distance, and you had to bite your lip to hold back a moan when you felt the tip of his cock against you.
"Can't wait 'til we're stateside again," he muttered, reaching between your bodies to tease his cock between your folds. "Be able to take my time with you then."
You felt your lips pull into a ridiculous smile, the same way that they always did whenever he spoke about going home, about still wanting you after all the shit was over an you were both back home.
Still, you couldn't help but tease him.
"Who says I'm gonna waste my time on a jarhead like you when I'm back home?" You asked.
"Allow me to persuade you."
"Go on then, I'm all ears, tell me why I should —"
Before you could finish, Billy pushed forward, notching his cock into you, filling you in one smooth movement. You bit down harder on your lip, your hands grasping his fatigues.
"Fuck," you moaned as a familiar feeling of ecstasy took hold.
"Persuaded yet?"
"Yes — fuck, yes —" you gasped as he started to draw his hips back, setting a steady rhythm.
He kissed you again, swallowing down the moans that tried to escape you while using your lips to muffle his own desperate noises. His hands gripped you, holding you tight, clinging to you like you were the only stable thing in his world, and you loved it. You loved how he made you feel in those moments, kissing you, holding you, fucking you.
But it couldn't last. While you wanted to enjoy it, you both knew that, at any moment, you could be discovered.
He gripped your hip as he upped the tempo, driving you closer and closer to insanity with each rough thrust. You back arched and you writhed on the edge of the desk, completely losing yourself to him and the way he made you feel.
You gasped and panted and whined against his lips, every snap of his hips causing arousal to burn hotter in your belly, every fibre of your being coiling tighter, like a spring desperate to be released.
"Lieutenant — fuck, Billy —" you managed before being pulled back into another kiss.
He grunted against your lips as the last of his self-control seemed to disappear. You loved the moments when he lost control, when he lost his mind over you. His fingers gripped your bare hip tight enough to leave bruises — replacements for the ones that had started to fade since your last tryst.
The desk creaked and the metal legs scraped against the concrete floor, but all you could think was more, more, more. After months of snatched moments like this, you'd found yourself addicted to him, desperate for him in a way you'd never know with any other man.
As he fucked you and stole your breath away, you felt a crescendo building, a wave of pleasure that was going to drowned you.
Your fingers damn near ripped his shirt as you started to come, clinging to him for dear life.
His grip on your hair tightened, keeping his lips sealed over your as you tried to cry out his name. A few more enthusiastic thrusts later and he followed you over the edge and into oblivion, holding you just as tightly as you were holding him.
He pressed his face against your neck, panting for breath, his cock still inside you, still twitching as his orgasm ebbed away.
Moments like this were the ones that made you wonder if he meant it, if he really did want to see you again once you were both back home and the desert was in the rear-view. But you didn't dare ask — you never asked, because you weren't sure how you'd feel if/when it all turned out to be lies.
You weren't naïve enough not to see what this probably was; you were one of the few women on base and it was very clear that Lieutenant Russo had needs. And you? What you needed was something to keep you sane and, somehow, that had become him.
Tenderly you ran your fingers through his hair as you both caught your breath then, reluctantly, he pulled away.
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itwoodbeprefect · 5 months ago
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the great thing about falling really deep into a new media niche is developing opinions on many new things. the terrible thing about falling really deep into a new media niche is developing opinions on many new things
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tj-crochets · 8 days ago
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Still no craft updates on account of I feel Bad* but I did get like half a beanie crocheted this weekend? I also have a bat that's haunting me. In that there's a bat design I desperately want to turn into a plushie not in that I am being literally haunted by a bat. As far as I know I am not haunted by a bat but to be fair I'm not confident I'd know? *my heart rate got high enough that made me cough but my asthma was flaring up enough that cough launched me into an asthma attack, which raised my heart rate even more, so basically I used my emergency inhaler and then was on the floor for a while. Feels bad! Do not recommend. I'm okay though just tired
#the person behind the yarn#the reason my heart rate got that high is that my pulse pressure was very narrow#which is. you know. bad.#so I finally gave in and took an extra dose of my meds (as my doctor has advised in the past)#what is probably happening is that I reached the point of stressed where my body couldn't cope#(I'm on long term steroids so I need stress doses if I get too stressed)#but! because acute stress can trigger an allergic reaction (yay MCAS) I tend to kinda...shunt stress off to the side#and come back to process it when it's less like. urgent? immediate?#when it no longer feels like it will trigger an MCAS flareup if I acknowledge the feeling exists#and I do go back and process those emotions! I just have to get a little distance first#and the work stress lately has been so unrelenting (combined with the like...general world news stress)#that I have been ignoring my own stress levels so hard I genuinely did not think I was stressed#or that I needed a stress dose of my meds but uh. I was wrong!#I was wrong. Good news is now that I know I should be good in a day or two#doc said three days for stress doses and today was day one#bad news is narrow pulse pressure combined with asthma attack feels Very Bad!#very bad indeed took me like 20-30 minutes and two different kinds of medication before I could talk normally#without having to pause and catch my breath midsentence#every time I start thinking 'you know maybe I'm not really disabled maybe my health stuff is under control'#it pops up like a jack in the box like surprise! it's the same thing again still here! the meds just hide it most of the time#but it's still there :) lurking :) when I least expect it :)#...I think I might buy myself another sticker or two. something to look forward to coming in the mail
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lucky-clover-gazette · 2 months ago
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vent
did not expect kissing and realizing i’m lowkey dating a guy to send me down an existential spiral of reminding me that i have only one life to live and then i am going to die without living any other different lives
#but i’ve been wasting time not exploring at all!!#doesn’t have to be a forever person it’s just an experience#but still#it’s really weird and idk!!!!#and if i date this guy fr i would have to like go on birth control probably and holy shit i do NOT want more medication#and what if i meet someone else?#i don’t exactly want to commit y’know???#but i’m halfway through my twenties and i don’t know how much time i actually have and if i think about it too long i hyperventilate#which WOULDN’T HAPPEN if i was just continuing on with being safe and alone!!#and what about women?? i love women!#but when i really love something or someone i go crazy about it#i lose myself#so maybe realistic and neutral is better?#am i neutral?#i don’t fucking know and my friends for the most part aren’t quite grasping what i’m trying to say#like yes i overthink and yes it might not be that deep to anyone else including the guy#but it NEEDS to be that deep. to me.#because that’s how my brain fucking works.#i don’t take shit lightly and i never have#that’s why i’m better off alone#or with people who are also deeply unchill#but this guy is so chill! and it does make me feel comfortable!#but it’s also like bro is this conversion therapy am i conversion therapying myself?#my entire identity for more than a decade has been based off being single and independent#and the lapses in that are times in my life that i see myself as unambiguously pathetic and embarassing#with men and women#i feel like a fucking unsocialized semiferal cat that wants affection but also doesn’t know how to accept it#and do i even want it? or is it want i know i should want or what would be good for me so im just slowly forcing myself into it?#it’s so much easier. so much simpler. to not have to freak out about this stuff.#sorry for venting i know it’s annoying it’s just fuck man…
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moodr1ng · 8 months ago
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i always say im able-bodied bc i feel like it best describes my General Lived Experience but i do have that like. thing in my legs where if i walk briskly for some distance (like 500 meters) i get this crushing pain in my whole lower legs which gets worse and worse if i keep walking until i eventually have to sit down for a few minutes and wait for it to go away. which im still trying to get diagnosed bc so far artery scans and muscle ultrasounds render nothing. and ngl it is like, an issue often enough and is a pretty bothersome thing when it happens (like not only bc its extremely painful but also having to find some place to sit down in the middle of the street and having to stay there a while isnt awesome) so im not entirely sure "able-bodied" fully describes me but i also am not sure its a disability bc we dont know wtf it is. so i guess im kind of in a weird inbetween where i err on the side of just assuming its not a disability and its just like, an annoying body thing..
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unproduciblesmackdown · 18 days ago
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what in the. see this is why it's a good thing that multiplayer videogames especially are about having fun & being yourself like what do you mean disguised spies automatically had the speed of the disguise's class & everyone's like yea if i wasn't always going for the scout disguise i'd kill myself right now. i'd be like haha can't catch Me out supposedly the extra slow or extra fast class >:) i am a harmless engineer
#something something like ah as scout you move fast & can be allll the way over there & your line of sight is above your Visible head#devastating. sure i Always could've looked these things up but i just like figured. don't disguise as heavy or scout; a plausible limitatio#i mean i guess i always did okay as spy b/c like in random lobbies there's just more chaos factor so like. no Your Je Ne Sais Quoi is off#even in terms of like ''why would xyz class being doing abc rn'' like who can say....i sure can't like#never knew the maps much less their Strategic Points for Whatevering. rarely tried being a Real Engineer like where do i put shit#or real demo like i don't want a team to think that role is covered. it is basically not. or a soldier even when i think that was like#recommended basic / beginner role. well i never figured out how to rocket jump reliably so jot that down#heavy pretty straightforward. medic i figured out soon enough you're Mostly supposed to support a heavy lol like okay if we need one#go figure i never seemed to do well as pyro; an alright scout probably like you really can have fun & be yourself zooming around like that;#sniper i was okayish too like yeah perhaps i can lurk & take out a heavy. or get into an intractible [the snipers are fightinnnng]#spy also okayish like again w/chaos on my side sure maybe i can sabotage turrets backstab a sniper heavy medic & cloak away....#but also all this like No special abilities or weapons. i don't even have the basics down lol. what is this link talking abt trickstabbing#are they not all trickstabs lol....apparently not exactly. i am discerning it is the art of [spy backstab] plus Juking#so i guess anything but the theoretical standard Surprise Approach. ''that know they are a spy'' ''in difficult situations''#ppl listing off a bunch of Named Trickstab Maneuvers lmfao talk about kill me. good thing videogames are about having fun & being yourself#also that i couldn't play tf2 now if i wanted to. which eh i kinda do b/c the whole time it Was like yeah this'll be a mess but haha whee#again good thing that ppl theoretically can now though? vs whatever peak ''so matches are overrun w/bot players'' times#why was that a thing at all. something something Items okay. alright back at things i Can do after another Looking Stuff Up tangent#prior geological eras into Big Events on that scale into Large Insects into lol giant water bug i.e. weird but in charge of the nighttime#i'm just still arm slung around tf2 like a smissmas miracle despite it all for sure#& it really even is that rare Games I've Actually Played Myself Ever....it really is....#hey what in the disguised enemy spies can be healed too? & like for real not just Appearing to be? what a menace lmao
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mars-ipan · 2 months ago
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kinda funny when ur brain’s gut instinct is repression so you just kinda watch while your stress and emotions get bottled and corked and the whole time ur just like “that is going to bite me in the ass so bad later but i can’t seem to open the damn bottles without getting glass everywhere so! guess we’ll wait”
#marzi speaks#marzivents#<- not super but this is more negative than i like to be#sorry folks i’ve been mental illness posting a lot#maybe i should get checked for seasonal affective disorder. or maybe this is a trauma response? i DID nearly die this year#i dunno. the trauma stuff in particular is tricky bc if i try to unpack it before i’m ready i could basically just retraumatize myself#but if i wait too long then it’ll do some damage that way too. so i gotta time it right#what i really gotta do is actually contact one of these psychologists i got referred#i think i wanna go for a psychologist instead of a therapist bc i’d like the opportunity for medication/diagnosis if possible#i keep like. almost crying but every time it happens i’m like ‘YESSS CATHARSIS’ and then it goes away. fuckass brain#sighhh. i’m tired. i’m tired of resting too#but tomorrow is a holiday celebrated by eating good food with your family#so i’m gonna try to just enjoy myself and enjoy the day#and it’ll be nice#i’ll probably help cook which i always like doing#i got to chop chocolate tonight. it was really fun i like working with knives#didn’t even get any intrusive thoughts. just focused on making chocolate chunks#it’s satisfying to feel like you’ve made something. chopping things makes me feel like i’ve made something#i want to make more things. i’m really tired all the time lately (different from blood loss tired (i’m relieved i can tell the difference))#and being tired makes it harder to make things#but i’m at my happiest when i’m creating in some way. if you believe in purposes i’d say that was mine#i need to make things i need to put myself out into the world. that way i can look and say i existed. i did something tangible#sigh okay i’m gonna . stop here before this turns into mars shares all of her thoughtfeelings on public website tumblr.com#i know i literally liveblogged my colonoscopy prep to you all (thx again ppl who supported me then btw that was an awful night)#buuuuut i still wanna leave some parts of me a little mysterious. (<- is an open book)
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thethingything · 7 months ago
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okay so everything that talks about withdrawal symptoms from opioids is like "you'll get cravings for the drug" and I've been sat here like "okay well I haven't had that" (as far as I can tell? I don't know what cravings are meant to feel like in this instance? I might be misunderstanding what that means) but what has been happening is that every time I take way less pain medication for a day or two, I get symptoms that feel like food poisoning and it ends up being an overall bad time.
for the last few days we've been on a way lower dosage because we haven't needed as much pain relief, and I've spent the whole time being like "oh my god why am I getting so many hot flashes and waking up in a cold sweat and not being able to sleep more than a few hours at a time? ugh my eyes are stinging so much and my vision keeps going all blurry and weird. why do I keep feeling like the world's ending over tiny things? holy shit my digestive system is not doing well. why do I have all these weird muscle cramps and aches? god my head hurts so fucking much and nothing's helping" and I've been blaming this stuff on the fact that we overexerted so much on Monday but like... yeah there are some dots I probably should have connected sooner here
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kalashtars · 2 years ago
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yousaytomato · 2 years ago
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Trying my hardest not to be anxious and sad about things that have already happened and that I can't do anything about now. But How
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