#i like my little retail job
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i don’t believe in the lottery but i do usually play towards the end of the year just for a laugh and the next euromillions draw has a £23m jackpot so if i win i’ll buy you all a ps5 or whatever
#i’d be SUCH a great lottery winner bcus i don’t really care about looking rich#i’d buy a house and decorate it however i want but that’s like. the only Big purchase ever gonna make. i don’t drive i don’t need a car.#i like my little retail job#don’t particularly care about fancy branded clothes or bags or shoes#idk i’d just. carry on living my life but in a house i own and with all the financial security i could ever dream of having and like.#that’s all i’d ever want.
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she's looking especially sacrificial lamb today 🥩
#we're so back baby#i think i'm finallyyyy through the worst of this awful depression i've been in for the past like. month and a half#i mean i woke up this morning and thought ''the sun is so beautiful'' so i think i'm good for now fjksjds#which is great because there's some heavy stuff coming up that i just couldn't handle in that mental state#so i'm hoping i'll be able to move things along a little quicker#but also i might be getting a job in retail against my better judgement so who knows#i've never actually worked in retail... i've done food service and i was a cashier at a pop up shop but nothing like an actual store#but i seriously can't find a job with my degree nor can i even find a desk job. so i'm. man. it's rough out here#i might have to move. but with what money?? lmao the eternal dilemma#SORRY this is a whole diary entry#i hope you guys are well 💖
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i hate trying to find a job i hate trying to find a job i hate trying to find a job
#sent out like a good amount of applications to. not even anything fancy. food and retail places and shit since the start of the month.#and nobody has gotten back to meeee cmon man. im nice....#and then i scraped up the mental fortitude to call this one place and the ladies i need to talk to weren't even there fuck my lifeeeeee#i want money. and i want my parents to get off my fucking back. please for the love of god somebody.#my limit - and probably why im not getting anything back - is that i dont want to work fast food. im willing to handle food but i dont want#to deal with fast food. but if this keeps up im probably going to have to buckle.#its not even crazy. i just want A Job. a Retail Job or whatever i know i have very little experience and very little qualifications.#i just want SOMETHING. stop being stingy.
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Had to stop for a moment at work thanks to the sudden realization that thanks to the Mouse Droid fic, it’s canon that Eli Vanto is exactly Tarkin’s type, and that makes his promotion process So Much Funnier in Thrawn.
#Star Wars#Pryce utterly oblivious#Thrawn probably noticing So Much that Tarkin’s watching Vanto.#Vanto’s just there internally grumbling about not being able to do his Imperial Retail Job in Stocking#and like. Thrawn himself is only ever portrayed through outside views#so this whole thing where he doesn’t follow politics isn’t correct to me at least#he’s following everything that’s going on but it’s the same as him pretending to need word clarification from Eli#he knows what’s going on. but engaging with the politics Isn’t The Point#The Point is maneuvering and developing Eli Vanto while also positioning himself to act freely within the empire to his own ends#it’s like bartering for space for his little droid projects: Humans Will Put Up With Shit As long As They Get What They Want#so yes I do believe Thrawn notices this completely#and that Eli Vanto could very much have made his own path to promotion if you get my drift#But he doesn’t. and this pleases Thrawn.#granted he doesn’t make that path because Eli actually IS mostly oblivious to politics because his strategies are escapist and avoidant#‘avoid demotion and then maybe I can get what I really want’#But Imagining this Ceremony is just So Fucking Funny. because Thrawn’s there like Oh. Interesting.#and Tarkin’s there following Vanto with his eyes like. yes. very interesting.#and Pryce is too busy scheming because she’s Pryce.
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it's literally not a good idea in any way shape or form but I want to get a second job in fast food
#it's not a good idea bc the wages are GARBAGE compared to retail#Macca's base rate for my age is less than half my sunday rate#and they don't get much beyond the base rate#whereas retail we have an incredible base rate AND more weekdays past 6pm and weekends (sat is the same as mon-fri 6pm#and sunday is significantly more)#and like yeah im not getting many shifts but if i were to ask for more I still wouldn't be able to work more than 4 hour shifts til july#bc my retail corporation is surprisingly ethical and extends the age limits by a lot#whereas my friend has a 7.5 half hour shift tomorrow AFTER school. on a week night 😁#which is actually horrifying and should nawwt be legal. thats school 9-3 (+20 min) then work 4-11:30 btw#like i should just wait til my birthday in july n ask for more shifts in retail but i want to try fast food#even though the pay is incredibly ridiculously bad (<10 AUD) (yes our adult minimum wage is a good ~23 but under 21 is a percentage of that#like the pay is so bad so i would earn the same or more doing wayy less hours than retail#but i kinda want to get the fast food experience bc it'll be more difficult to get hired as i age#bc i want to save up 20k for top surgery but at the rate im going it'll be difficult to have even thay#let alone savings after top surgery or money to get a car before#and as school gets more difficult it'll be harder to work more#so maybe i should just grind for a few months or til the end of the year then go back to retail exclusively?#and enjoy higher pay and some longer shifts?#but idkkk it's just such a dilemma bc i want more shifts than I'll get at retail but fast food pays so little#but i also really want the experience and to just try it out#im gonna. idk im gonna sit on it for a bit bc i want to get my legal name change sorted before i apply to any second jobs and that will#take a while#so i shall consider. draw up a timetable. write a pros and cons list#yes that sounds like a solid plan#whoop typo but im on mobile i meant 'wayy less hours IN retail'
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working retail is making me remember how much i hate stupid customers btw
#so i work in a tiny nonprofit thrift store. right.#its one room w concrete floors and very compact shelving because there is just No Room for anything.#and our office/employee backroom/breakroom is a little corner with wood+canvas dividers separating it from the rest of the store#with LOTS of signs saying employees only nothing is for sale here etc etc etc#and there was a customer today who went through the divider to ''shop'' in the ''other section of the store''#and we didnt even KNOW someone was back there until she brought up one of my coworker's purses to ask how much it was </3#im so baffled. there are so many signs saying its employees only.#not to mention that the office is full of notes and paperwork and my boss's computer and filing cabinets and the fridge and microwave#its CLEARLY an office/break room. even if you ignore all the signs. and YET.#there's also people who will literally just steal. anything and everything#which like. i will always support shoplifting from walmart or another big retail company. in fact i encourage it.#but a tiny locally owned NONPROFIT thrift store that supports local arts ???? HELLO ????????????????#gah. i should be allowed to throttle one customer per day. i should get paid to do so#most of them are so so sweet. we have regulars who are in almost every day and they are the NICEST people ever#but its just those few who are absolutely the worst most selfish stupid people to ever live#woes from work#winter speaks#all complaining aside i do enjoy my job quite a bit more than i thought i would#i like my coworkers and i feel like im actually connecting with most of them#and i love my supervisor. i have so much respect for her she's an amazing person#you win some you lose some i guess. cool job i actually like but with stupid fucking customers who make me want to MURDER
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#super freaking out cos my friend who is a vet has offered me a job at her practice as a care assistant#so my job would just be to do all the little jobs. help looking after the animals. cleaning. sometimes calling patients etc#it's a fantastic opportunity but it looks so much more difficult then anything i've ever done before#and on the one hand i'm like ''yes! i love animals! i need a steady income! this is perfect!''#but on the other... i haven't been at my current job that long. so it feels like a dick move to up and leave.#i don't know if i'd be able to cope with the animals dying all the time. some of the stuff i'd have to do looks really technical#and i'm scared i'll do it wrong (eg put the wrong label on the wrong medicine) and it'll lead to an animal dying#like it's a proper full time monday-friday 9-5 kinda gig#which is great cos my current job is a ''are we gonna give you more than 2 days next week?? who knows! it's a supprise!!''#and that situation is stressing me out. so i do need something different#but this is like a proper serious job. and idk that's scary#plus my friend would be my boss. which i don't mind. but i dont want her to vouch for me and then i'm terrible at it...#cos that's not fair on her#they've offered me a trial shift next week. so i guess i could do that and just scope it out..#it also feels like nepotism which doesn't super sit right#but it's not a sure thing. the other vets and practice owners have to agree and they may not like me. it's not like i have experience#and it's only a low paid position so if its nepotism its not like... super beneficial nepotism...#sigh. i know i should go for it. just last time i went for a big different job like this it ended badly#and i ended up back in retail.#so i don't wanna go thru that all again#but i also dont wanna stay working in this shop forever. it wouldn't be too bad if only i had regular hours. .#and i knew what those hours were more than a week in advance#i know this is like.. a non-problem. i'm just stressing about it#plus its making me feel guilty whenever i go into my current job. like i'm cheating on them#i do need that regular income tho#screams in anxiety
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Jesus getting interviewed for a Major Job is crazy is it always like this?????
#all non gig jobs ive worked have been retail and by far the one that took the longest was my very first#all other jobs i got immediately either getting contacted within 24 hours of applying or just straight up getting hired without an intervie#Nearly all were retail but even my current job as a clinic secretary was a relatively simple and fast process#but either this place is just very thorough OR all of my jobs have just been kinda trashdoodoo (very likely) this is longer than im used to#fingies crossed ig? Im close with all my references so nobody gonna shittalk me i THINK. Never had anyone actually contact refs before#im not too hopeful for getting this. Very little goes right for me lately LOL
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got rejected from the first job I actually wanted, feels like a rite of passage
#ichi.txt#yes I'm crying like a little baby my hopes and dreams are shattered#I can't even get retail jobs or professional jobs#what am I even supposed to do ugh
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i think i actually have to get a second job or something if i don't get a scholarship this sem
#chatterye#i don't pay tuition or anuthing like that but#living is still so expensive here#even though it's much cheaper than texas.. is it really#i ahte saving money#it leaves me with no money#but anyways i think i need to get like an afternoon job or something#because while the bills are being paid#what about my silly little hobbies#my silly little treats#i need a lil drinky drink to live#i cannot work food retail anymore though i will lose my mind i hate it so bad
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me every day: yes, I understand that I have ptsd. yes, it will frequently disrupt my life in sometimes (seemingly) random ways. sometimes this will necessitate leaving work or disclosing things about myself to a supervisor or friend or bystander because it's freaking them out and THEY are now panicking and often wanting to call me an ambulance. this is just a fact. it's fine. i'm dealing with it. most years are easier than the ones before them. it's fine.
me when my ptsd is actually triggered: what is happening right now. why can't I breathe. why can't I stand up. why do I feel like I'm about to throw up and die. oh, I know!!! I must be having an allergic reaction to something!!!! I'm suddenly coming down with the flu in the span of 3 minutes!!! this is so weird!!!!!!!
#EDIT: talk of PTSD proceed with caution#it's morphed a little over the years lololol#used to present as very obvious and unmistakable panic attacks with crying and hyperventilating#10 years later and it's quieter. 70% of the time the whole world just shrinks to a 1 foot bubble around me and everything goes dark#at least i didn't actually throw up this time around#and i was able to pinpoint the trigger about 2 hours in#once i was able to think again#and it was a song. 30 seconds of a song.#noticed right away that something felt wrong so i hit stop#but it was too late lmao within 5 minutes it was hard to breathe and the room was spinning and within 10 i crawled upstairs and passed out#but yeah like in the moment i often don't understand what's happening#i don't realize until I've passed out and woken up again#i had to lay down on the floor in the backroom of my retail job once and it scared the shit out of everyone#i usually stay somewhat lucid but i rarely realize I'm reacting to a trigger until after I've recovered#which means then I'm laying on a floor woozily insisting I'm fine#and then have the SUPER FUN TIME of having to explain everything after the fact once my brain and body are working again#I have a few long time coworkers who realize I've been triggered before I do lmao#They're like. Bro. You need to sit down. Right fucking now or you're gonna fall#rray.txt
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wish i could just. work at a bookstore
#all of the bookstores around here are owned by indigo and they dont take resumes. you have to apply online#and you can only apply for specific positions in specific locations when those positions open#and they are Never open. ive been checking back nearly every day for almost four months now#and it kills me bc i KNOW i would be good at it and i wouldnt mind doing it it might even be nice#like. yes its still min wage and yes its still customer service/retail at its core but at least its smth i fucking like#id be great at giving book recommendations. i like organizing shelves well enough#i practically know the layout of the store like the back of my hand already considering i go there so often and have my whole life#just please let me do smth i care abt even a little bit. please#working at the grocery store is Fine. its objectively fine#i dont enjoy it but everyone is really nice and i know what im doing#but i dont want to do this forever. i dont even want to be doing it now#a man came in the other day talking abt how i could be the manager someday if i keep at it and i genuinely dread that future#i do not want to get stuck here. i cannot get stuck here forever#levi.txt#i got told my whole life that if i just went to university got ok grades and did Any degree id get a decent job and start my life#and i did it! and now im working the exact same job i had before i had any experience or a degree#and im having to consider starting over and getting another fucking degree in the HOPES itll help at all#i keep having to downgrade any hope i have for the future over and over and it is insanely fucking demoralizing#the least i can want rn is a job at a fucking bookstore
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I'm getting a bit better at tackling things right away but I am not there yettttt
#still writing professional emails at 1AM when I have to be at work at 7 tomorrow....#I have a lot of experience but it was just my boss and I like I was the only person on her team 😭 what do you mean two references#and I can't put my retail manager as a ref for an academic job... so I have to ask someone else but I feel sooo bad about it#he agreed but I don't like having to send the job offer and a little 'heads up someone might write to you' every time I get an interview 😭
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How would one find work at a library when they just...aren't qualified or don't have the relevant experience? I'd love to work at one but I don't have a relevant degree or experience in the field (mostly because they keep rejecting my applications and then ghosting me). I know if given the opportunity I could learn how to do the various jobs at a library, I just have trouble getting into the field without a degree.
people ask me this quite a bit and I really don't know what to say because I don't have an MLIS and neither do most of my coworkers. only like 1/10th of our employees have it honestly. I only have an associates degree in mathematics. and honestly, I'm really sorry to say, the only other way to get your foot in the door really is to volunteer. I volunteered at the library that I now work for A LOT as a teenager so I was able to use the librarians I got to know as references when I started applying to library jobs, and I was able to speak to my experiences working within the library
basically the only other thing is starting at the absolute bottom of the totem poll, which I also did even with my volunteer experience. this is usually going to be a library page position. pages are generally the lowest paid, most manual labor job because they reshelve returned books. so it's a lot of lifting and pushing tens or hundreds of pounds of books around all day
unfortunately there's nothing else I can really tell you, there's not really a magic key to working here. volunteering and having a clean record (like, don't apply if you have a bunch of fines on your account) are really the only ways to get ahead at all. even having an MLIS isn't gonna help you much these days without having any experience like that
#also this isnt to be mean to people who have it but library degrees are like waaaay overhyped and largely exist as a class barrier#because in order to get one you have to waste at least 4 years getting a completely irrelevant degree then be able to afford 2 more yrs#i kinda wouldnt recommend getting one til youve worked in an actual library for a while first to give some perspective#and id only do it if you have a specific library position in mind#please do not waste your time and money getting a degree just because you want to work in a library#you need to know what exactly you want to aim for because positions are few and far between#also one last little secret: working at a library reallllllly fucking sucks in A LOT of ways#i love what we do and i love my coworkers but i fucking hate my job lmao#MANY libraries across the country (including mine) are controlled by boards made up of local wealthy business people#and all of the higher ups are extraordinarily out of touch#pay is exceedingly low and it is A LOT of very hard work. its not sitting around reading all day#you have to deal with the public in ways that i promise you no amount of retail experience could ever prepare you for#which is why you have to really really want it. so many people quit within a couple years
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right now I'm considering going on with my 21 hour work week for another couple months and saving up some more extra money and then switching to a minijob which is about eight to ten hours a week. would leave me with 520€ a month but I have a huge chunk of savings and I also would love to experience an emotion besides dread and horror and suffering. so. yeehaw
#i could make that work. i think#god please i just can't take this any longer#i would look for another job but i have zero qualifications and i simply will not drive farther than like twenty minutes anywhere#i would kill a man for a part time home office job fr#but i am stupid and useless and only barely good for retail so ❤️#if this is what i must do. i shall do it. as little as possible tho#my father is going to kill me for this but dome sacrifices need to be made#i am cradling this plan to me chest like a baby bird. i am promising myself an end to the suffering#even if i don't end up doing it. pretending i will is preserving my sanity#rayrambles
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hell day today and i'm only two hours into my EIGHT HOUR SHIFT
#9 to 5 by dolly parton starts playing in the background..#literally had to open up shop alone 2day and also was entirely alone for the first 45 min. of my shift so that was already a negative start#to the day + i heard that i can't have my break later than two thirty which is very bad for me bc 1) there'll be a lot of ppl all around me#when i'm eating which i already dislike and 2) like 85% of ppl taking their break around that time are VERY noisy eaters so even worse and#then 3) it'll be really loud in the room as well bc everyone's talking loudly and eating and the cutlery's clanging against plates and such#and also some ppl have actual full-blown arguments with each other in the break room bc half the ppl here hate each other's guts so more#negatives to the day and then on top of that we've had sooooo many annoying customers already today who r just. intent on making u stressed#out and upset and literally will tell u to your face to 'do your job better' like bro...i can easily tell you haven't worked in retail....#also someone hung their clothes on the rack outside the fitting rooms which is where u hang ur clothes when you're DONE fitting them & don'#want them bc they don't fit or don't sit right or u just don't rlly like them after all so if clothes are hanging there we the ppl working#there WILL take them and hang them back in their original places what did u expect to happen?? anyway someone hung the clothes they had#tried on already and did want there and i reached out to take them bc like. that's what we do here..we hang the clothes on the 'discard#rack' back in the store bc else the rack gets stuffed and the woman literally grabbed my arm and said 'those are mine what do u think you'r#doing' LIKE?????? GIRL THE RACK'S THERE FOR A REASONNNN ofc i'm going to assume u don't want them anymore if they're hanging there that's#why it's called the DISCARD rack....also how am i to know those specific clothes are yours HONESTLYYYYYY STFU AND GET OFF ME#ALSO some dude was like (to his child but like. looking at me while he said it.) 'this guy needs a haircut doesn't he' bc my hair is kinda#long and apparently i passed today. LIKE 1st of all kind of a rude thing to say to a stranger innit 2nd of all setting a great example to#your child there just casually commenting on other ppl's looks like that👍 3rd of all jokes on you you wouldn't consider me a guy if#you Knew most likely. thanks for that little zing of glee much obliged <3 but also man just piss off will you. 4th of all my hair isn't eve#that long....like the ends of it are just shy of my shoulders wdym LONG if u knew the long-haired guys i know you'd faint.#anyway. great start of the day. i still have six more hours to go 🥴#ALSO no surprise this always happens but my legs already hurt SOOOOOOOO BADDDDDD :(((((((((((#r.txt
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