#you win some you lose some i guess. cool job i actually like but with stupid fucking customers who make me want to MURDER

[astonmartinii]

it's got to be time travel | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem footballer!reader

face claim: jessie fleming (i'm a chelsea fan and i'm sad she left :()

they've got all the time in the world for each other, don't ask them where they got that time from though

note: we're also gonna pretend that the women's football and f1 seasons line up here lol

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | MY SMALL BUSINESS

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, lewishamilton and 1,203,784 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: last sunday lunch before we both have to go back to work :(

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user1: ffs why do their ACTUAL jobs have to get in the way of my regularly scheduled charles x y/n content???

user2: i personally think that the fia should just give charles the championship and y/n the WSL title so they can just chill together :)

maxverstappen1: not on my watch

charles_leclerc: you don't even follow me? get out of my comments

maxverstappen1: you can't just get given the championship because you have attachment issues WE ALL HAVE ATTACHMENT ISSUES

charles_leclerc: me i get, but y/n doesn't deserve to win?

maxverstappen1: i never said that. y/n is girlboss slay queen

yourusername: too right i am

charles_leclerc: why are you peace and love with her and not me?

maxverstappen1: she's cool, you aren't

yourusername: can't disagree with that babe soz

user3: i have a feeling that these spats might get worse the longer charles is separated from y/n

user4: waa waa we're all sad their being separated but all i'm thinking is UP THE CHELS

user5: i need the treble right fucking now, a charles championship would be a bonus i guess

lewishamilton: will i get a formal introduction to y/n before we're teammates?

yourusername: YES, YES YOU WILL

charles_leclerc: i guess that answers that

lewishamilton: don't hate the player, hate the game

yourusername: i better see your ass at kingsmeadow at some point, it's fun, even if others think they're too good for it

lewishamilton: i'll be there 🫡

user7: can 2025 come quick.... PLEASE

user8: lol does this mean that charles has offered to take carlos to a game but he didn't go?

user9: ugh what a bore

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 1,402,667 others

tagged: chelseafcw

yourusername: excited for the new season back with the girlypops :))))))

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user10: treble or nothing I BEG

user11: it's their year for the champions league i've seen the script

alexalbon: no seatbelt ? way to set dangerous examples to your young audience

yourusername: if you're not careful i'm gonna teach my audience how to put their foot up the ass of those annoying her

alexalbon: ugh i hope you lose :P

yourusername: i don't have to hope, i know your ass ain't gonna be in q3

alexalbon: that's TOO far @charles_leclerc does our years of friendship mean nothing?

charles_leclerc: sorry buddy, i am y/n stan first, human being second

yourusername: as he should.

user12: so like... will we see charles in a y/n jersey again in the paddock?

user13: @ferrari stop being so annoying and let him wear what he wants

user14: i think i tasted paradise when they actually let him wear a y/n canada jersey in montreal

charles_leclerc: never seen someone make blue look so good

maxverstappen1: i'm right here?

sebastianvettel: did the homoeroticism of our challenge videos mean nothing?

danielricciardo: do not lie to yourself

yourusername: sorry sluts, you wish you looked this good

charles_leclerc: they'll never be you 🫶🏻

user15: i know the cfcw admin and pr department have a heart attack every time y/n posts

user16: the way she's out here calling three f1 drivers sluts with no repercussions

yourusername: can't be told off for telling the TRUTH

f1

liked by lewishamilton, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,205,489 others

tagged: charles_leclerc & yourusername

f1: couple goals! charles leclerc takes pole in bahrain while his girlfriend, y/n y/ln, scored the winner for chelsea women!

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user19: okay but i've never been in a relationship and am currently rotting on my couch... so who is the real winner here x

yourusername: my handsome boy is so talented :3

charles_leclerc: not as talented as you, pretty girl

yourusername: nuh uh at least my team is competent

charles_leclerc: errrrr

samkerr20: i think you broke him lol

yourusername: sometimes i think he's more loyal to ferrari than me

charles_leclerc: no!

scuderiaferrari: huh?

charles_leclerc: wait...

yourusername: i see :(

charles_leclerc: i'm LOGGING OUT

user20: charles is so lover boy stuck in his tortured poets department (ferrari formula one team)

user21: the way he's probably yelling down the phone to y/n about how much he loves her right now

samkerr20: he is and it's so loud the whole locker room can hear it

yourusername: but he's so sweet isn't he

niamhcharles17: i guess?

alexalbon: we heard it from his side... barf

yourusername: @lilymunhe are you being starved of romance?

lilymunhe: compared to you and charles YES

alexalbon: ummmm get out of my business y/ln

yourusername: you're ALWAYS in my business buster 🤨

alexalbon: NO! i am just passing down the ancient skill of communication?

yourusername: you're such a gossip girl alex

user21: i know they bicker like siblings, but i know deep down that there have been double dates

charles_leclerc: yes, but y/n and i are much better (no offence lily)

yourusername: did you log back in to restart the argument with alex

charles_leclerc: yes!

alexalbon: boo you whore

yourusername: don't talk to him like that 🤨

samkerr20

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 303,445 others

tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc

samkerr20: forced to hang out with the straights... they're actually kind of cute

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user22: you know the couple has to be real cute when even the gays think they're cute

user23: no one can resist the charms of y/n and charles

yourusername: these photos make me think that we are cuter

samkerr20: we are but i didn't want to hurt charles' feelings

charles_leclerc: consider them hurt

samkerr20: boo hoo

yourusername: noooooo i love you xxx

charles_leclerc: hehehehehehehe i love you too xxx

yourusername: i miss you, hurry up and win and come home to me

charles_leclerc: i'm doing my best :(

yourusername: you are the bestest boy

samkerr20: STOP THAT MAKES HIM SOUND LIKE A DOG

oscarpiastri: when will australians stop being victims of this relationship

danielricciardo: this is your first season dealing with them properly, buckle up

oscarpiastri: i'm in a relationship but they make me feel so lonely

maxverstappen1: you get used to it after a while

yourusername: we're right here

landonorris: let us commiserate in peace

charles_leclerc: ??? do you or do you not get free football tickets out of it?

landonorris: yeha but when we go we just have to watch you cry when y/n inevitably wins another trophy

charles_leclerc: I'M PROUD OF HER AND YOU WON'T SHAME ME FOR THAT

user24: chelsea women players must be so confused when these grown men start arguments in the comments of THEIR posts

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, charles_leclerc and 1,529,556 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: weekend off... you know what that means

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user25: i know there's over 1.5 million likes but how can i gatekeep y/n?

user26: for real

charles_leclerc: the best weekends are with you here

yourusername: i may have a love/hate relationship with this team, but the catering is banging (i may have to move to italy)

chelseafcw: NO MENTIONS OF LEAVING CHELSEA, NOT EVEN A JOKE - NOTHING!

yourusername: okay, sorry guys (the pasta was so good though)

charles_leclerc: not even for me?

chelseafcw: DEFINITELY NOT FOR YOU, WATCH OUT OR WE'LL BLACKLIST YOU FROM KINGSMEADOW

yourusername: okay, let's pedal this back. i'm not leaving london and we all still love charles, right admin?

chelseafcw: .... yes

user27: when you're in a who has attachment issues with y/n y/ln and your competition is the chelseafcw admin and charles leclerc

user28: no point even showing up

maxverstappen1: i for one am glad when y/n is in the paddock because it means i can sneak in without the cameras seeing me

yourusername: i am a woman of the people

charles_leclerc: she's such a star, everyone wants to see her

maxverstappen1: yeah i'll give you that

yourusername: we're also hot

charles_leclerc: don't you dare respond to that one max

maxverstappen1: 🫡🫡🫡

user29: patiently waiting for the hq photos of them 😚

user30: gonna print them out and put them in my heart locket

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 1,398,452 others

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charles_leclerc: babe is top of the league (and top scorer)

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user33: get yourself a guy who flexes your achievements as much as charles does

user34: setting the example tbf

yourusername: my lucky charm, that hat-trick was for you xx

charles_leclerc: would mean more if you didn't score them every week 😭

yourusername: they hate to see a girlboss winning

charles_leclerc: wanna share some wins with me?

yourusername: you're doing great this season babe, not your fault that nasa decided to rebrand to red bull racing

redbullracing: adrian says thanks 😊

charles_leclerc: DON'T SAY IT Y/N

yourusername: you don't even know what i was going to say

charles_leclerc: ....

yourusername: @redbullracing you got a seat???

charles_leclerc: Y/N!!!!!!!!!!

yourusername: whoops

user35: y/n really out here trying to get charles that damn seat

yourusername: i'll stop when the horse team makes a championship worthy car that they don't break halfway through the season...

user36: add ferrari to the group of people who shudder in fear when y/n posts

chelseafcw: fine... we hope you enjoyed (no more italy jokes)

charles_leclerc: i had a great time, i always do when i watch y/n do what she loves (slay)

yourusername: awwwwwwwwww i love you charlie

chelseafcw: okay no need to make admin feel that lonely, damn

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, alexalbon and 1,782,309 others

yourusername: finishing my best ever season with a big trophy haul :) now time to support my trophy husband in his day job

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user41: she really be out here doing it all

user42: i need her to win the Ballon d'Or Féminin PLEASE IT IS TIME

user43: with charles in attendance, first couples red carpet appearance YES, YES RUN IT TO ME PLEASE

charles_leclerc: unbelievably proud of you, mon amour, constantly inspired by you

yourusername: i love you so much, thank you for being there to support me through it all

charles_leclerc: it's the biggest pleasure in the world

yourusername: i'm all out of winning this season, your turn next weekend?

charles_leclerc: for you, i'll do anything

user44: PLEASE I NEED HIM TO WIN GOOD PLEASE

alexalbon: congrats i guess, you're pretty good

yourusername: thanks, since my boyf is so supportive, it's only natural that you have to try and humble me at every turn

alexalbon: you're more famous than us now, we need to keep you grounded

lilymunhe: don't worry y/n he cried nearly just as much as charles when you won the WSL

yourusername: I KNEW IT

charles_leclerc: i still cried more

alexalbon: it's not a competition bro, we all know you're both helplessly in love

yourusername: that we are

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,309,855 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: happiest when i'm with you (and whoever has decided to tag along), oh and winning a race helps as well i guess

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user45: CHARLES WIN I REPEAT A CHARLES WIN WE WON?

user46: the way y/n went just as mental as us, her and zecira jumping around the garage (and starting the champagne shower after the podium)

user47: really proving that y/n and charles really are each other's biggest fans

user48: thank the lord the WSL season finished when it did so y/n could be there for this win

user49: y/n would've ran to austria to be there i'm sure

yourusername: you know it 🫡

maxverstappen1: had to let you win so you could look cool in front of your infinitely cooler girlfriend

charles_leclerc: not even gonna bite, i'm too happy to care

yourusername: i'll bite - HIS TALENTED BEHIND SCHOOLED YOUR ASS

maxverstappen1: but i called you cool?

yourusername: i'll accept the compliment now, i had to defend charles' honour first

charles_leclerc: heheheehe i'm blushing

maxverstappen1: gross

user50: i need y/n to permanently be in the ferrari garage, they were on it today (i think out of fear)

landonorris: damn i thought i thirdwheeling lestappen was bad, but y/n and charles is a different beast

yourusername: we're both athletes, need to savour the time we have together when we can

charles_leclerc: sorry not sorry you'll get it when you're in love

landonorris: .... i guess i'll die then

fin.

note: i hope you enjoyed !!!! one last WIP to go and good lord the writers block is kicking my ass. but f1 being back should help!!! + f1 academy, much enjoyed it so far.

[estellan0vella]

A Chance Encounter Older Brother Sukuna AU HFBU

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee mingles with the faint scent of pastries in the bustling café. You sit by the window, the warm sunlight streaming through the glass, casting a soft glow on your sketchbook. With each stroke of your pencil, a new design takes shape, intricate patterns and delicate lines flowing effortlessly from your hand. It's your sanctuary, a place where you lose yourself in the art, forgetting the world around you.

Suddenly, a shadow falls over your sketchbook. You look up to find a man standing there, his pink hair catching the light, his red eyes locked onto your drawings. He's tall, muscular, and covered in tattoos, each one more intricate than the last. He exudes an air of confidence and mystery that makes your heart skip a beat.

"Those are some impressive sketches," he says, his voice deep and smooth. "Do you mind if I take a closer look?"

You nod, feeling a mix of surprise and curiosity. He studies your drawings with a keen eye, his expression thoughtful. After a moment, he pulls out a business card and scribbles something on the back before handing it to you.

"I'm Sukuna," he introduces himself with a charming smile. "I own a tattoo parlour nearby. I'd love to see more of your work. Here's my card, and I've added my personal number. Give me a call if you're interested."

With that, he walks away, leaving you with a fluttering heart and a business card that feels like a golden ticket. You can't help but smile as you slip the card into your pocket, already anticipating the conversation you'll have later with your flatmate.

That night, you and Gojo settle into your usual routine: wine, face masks, and a cheesy movie playing in the background. The soft glow of the TV casts a cozy ambiance in the room as you recount the events of the day. Gojo's eyes widen in disbelief, his face covered in a bright green face mask.

"Wait, wait, wait," he says, sitting up straight and nearly spilling his wine. "You're telling me a drop-dead sexy man gave you his personal number? This is not a drill, Y/N! We need to talk about this."

You laugh, feeling the warmth of the wine and Gojo's infectious excitement. "I know, right? He owns a tattoo parlour and seemed really interested in my sketches. I think I might actually call him."

Gojo's grin widens. "You absolutely should. This is fate, my dear. Sexy tattoo artists don't just walk into your life every day."

You sip your wine, a thoughtful look on your face. "I mean, what if he was just being polite? Maybe he gives his number to a lot of people."

"Y/N," Gojo says, rolling his eyes dramatically. "Men like that do not just hand out their personal numbers. He's interested. And he owns a tattoo parlour? That's like, instant cool points."

"I guess," you reply, unable to keep a smile from forming. "He was really intense, though. Those red eyes... I felt like he could see right through me."

Gojo leans forward, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Tell me more about him. What else did he say?"

"He asked if I worked anywhere and complimented my sketches," you say, replaying the encounter in your mind. "Then he handed me his business card with his number on the back and told me to call him if I was looking for something more."

Gojo gasps theatrically. "Y/N, this is like something out of a romance novel! You have to call him. Imagine all the possibilities. Maybe you'll get an amazing job and a hot boyfriend out of this."

You laugh, shaking your head. "Slow down, Satoru. It's just a phone number. Besides, what if he's not looking for anything serious?"

Gojo waves his hand dismissively. "Please. You won't know until you call him. Worst case, you have a fun fling with a gorgeous guy. Best case, you get a new job and a fantastic relationship. It's a win-win."

"You make it sound so easy," you say, feeling a mix of excitement and nerves. "But what if he's not what I'm expecting? What if he doesn't like me once he gets to know me?"

Gojo places a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "Y/N, you're amazing. If he doesn't see that, then it's his loss. But you owe it to yourself to find out. Take the chance."

You nod, feeling a surge of determination. "You're right. I'll go to the parlour in a few days"

"That's my girl!" Gojo cheers, clinking his glass against yours. "Now, let's focus on this movie and see if the heroine ends up with the handsome prince."

A few days later, you find yourself standing outside Sukuna's tattoo parlour, your heart pounding with a mix of excitement and nerves. The shop is a blend of modern and edgy, with bold artwork adorning the walls and a sleek, inviting atmosphere.

As you step inside, you're greeted by two men lounging near the reception desk. One has long black hair tied back, and the other is muscular with short, spiky hair. They glance up as you enter, their eyes lighting up with curiosity.

"Well, well, well," the long-haired man says with a smirk. "If it isn't the pretty woman from the coffee shop. Sukuna's been talking about you."

The other man chuckles, giving you a once-over. "I'm Geto, and this is Toji. Sukuna's been in a good mood since he met you. I gotta say, we're all curious."

You blush, feeling a bit flustered under their teasing gazes. "I'm Y/N. Sukuna invited me to come by and show him more of my sketches."

Before you can say more, Sukuna emerges from the back room, his eyes lighting up when he sees you. "Y/N, you made it," he says, his tone warm and inviting. "Come on back, I'd love to see what you've brought."

You follow him into his office, the walls lined with more of his impressive artwork. He motions for you to sit, and you spread out your sketchbook, showing him your latest designs. He flips through the pages, his expression thoughtful and appreciative.

"These are incredible," he says, looking up at you with admiration. "Have you ever thought about doing tattoos yourself?"

You hesitate, then shake your head. "I don't think I could. I have epilepsy, and I wouldn't feel comfortable working on someone's skin with the risk of a seizure."

Sukuna's expression softens with understanding. "I get that. But your designs are too good to go unnoticed. How about this – you design the tattoos, and I'll handle the inking? We can call it a collaboration."

You smile, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "That sounds amazing. But are you sure? Mixing business and pleasure can be tricky."

He leans in closer, his eyes locking onto yours. "I'll make an exception to the rule this time. How about we discuss it over drinks?"

You agree, and later that evening, you find yourself in a cozy bar with Sukuna, the atmosphere relaxed and intimate. As you sip your drinks, he tells you about his three-year-old brother, Yuji, and how he became Yuji's legal guardian after their parents died.

"It's been a challenge," he admits, his eyes reflecting both pride and a hint of weariness. "But I wouldn't trade it for anything. Yuji's everything to me."

You share a bit about your own background, mentioning your strained relationship with your wealthy family. He doesn't press for details, respecting your boundaries.

"I want you to have this," you say, handing him a small card. "It's instructions on what to do if I have a seizure. Just in case."

Sukuna takes the card, his expression serious as he reads it. "Thank you for trusting me with this," he says sincerely. "I want to make sure you're safe."

You smile, feeling a connection growing between you. "I've got some stories if you're interested."

His grin returns, and he leans in closer, eager to listen. "I'm all ears."

You take a deep breath, recalling some of the more memorable experiences. "Once I learned what the aura was I used it to my advantage so when I'd feel one coming on I'd freak out my asshole family members by saying some freaky shit before dropping into a seizure"

Sukuna's eyes widen with intrigue and amusement. "Freaky shit, huh? Give me an example."

You laugh, taking a sip of your drink to gather your thoughts. "Okay, so there was this one time at a family dinner. I felt a seizure coming on, and my aunt was going on and on about some new business venture. I interrupted her and said, 'Auntie, the spirits are restless tonight. They demand a sacrifice.' Then I started to convulse and dropped to the floor."

Sukuna bursts out laughing, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "No way! That must have scared the hell out of her."

"It did," you reply, grinning. "She screamed and started throwing holy water at me. It was pure chaos. My parents were mortified especially when other family started recommeding exorcists. My aunt, bless her, she never quite looked at me the same way again."

"I can imagine," Sukuna snorts. 

The night continues with more stories and laughter, the bond between you growing stronger. When it's time to leave, Sukuna insists on walking you back to your apartment.

As you approach your building, you spot Gojo waiting by the entrance, his eyes widening in surprise when he sees you with Sukuna.

"Well, well," Gojo teases, a grin spreading across his face. "Looks like someone had a good night."

You laugh, feeling a bit shy under his scrutiny. "Gojo, this is Sukuna. Sukuna, this is my flatmate, Gojo."

Gojo extends a hand, shaking Sukuna's firmly. "Nice to meet you, Sukuna. I've heard a lot about you."

Sukuna nods, his demeanor friendly but reserved. "Likewise. Take care of her, Gojo."

With that, Sukuna bids you goodnight, his gaze lingering on you for a moment before he turns to leave. You watch him go, a smile playing on your lips.

Inside the apartment, Gojo wastes no time. "Okay, spill. How was it?"

You flop onto the couch, feeling giddy. "It was amazing. He's so kind and understanding. And did I mention how sexy he is?"

Gojo laughs, grabbing his phone. "Let's see this parlour of his. If he's as hot as you say, I need to check out his work."

You both gather around the laptop, pulling up the website for Sukuna's tattoo parlour. The screen fills with images of stunning artwork and a few photos of the team.

Gojo points to one of the pictures, his eyes widening when he spots one of Sukuna's co-workers. "Is that one Geto? I want to lick him like a lollipop."

You burst into laughter, the wine and the excitement of the night making everything feel surreal. "Gojo, you're incorrigible."

He grins, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. "What can I say? I have a weakness for hot guys with tattoos. But seriously, Y/N, I'm happy for you. He seems like a great guy."

You nod, feeling a sense of contentment wash over you. "Yeah, he really is. I think this could be the start of something special."

"So, Y/N," Gojo begins with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, "it's criminal that you didn't go home with Sukuna tonight."

You playfully roll your eyes, knowing where this is headed. "Oh, come on, Gojo. We had a great time together. That's what matters."

He gives you an exaggerated sigh, as if disappointed by your response. "Fine, fine. I'll let it slide this time. But," he adds with a pointed look, "you owe me."

You raise an eyebrow, intrigued. "I owe you? What for?"

Gojo leans in conspiratorially, his grin widening. "You're going to start working at Sukuna's parlour, right? Well, since you'll be seeing that sexy man every day, it's only fair that you set me up with Geto."

You burst into laughter, shaking your head at his audacity. "You're shameless, Gojo. But I'll consider it."

"Consider it?" he exclaims dramatically. "Y/N, my dear friend, this is a matter of utmost importance! Geto needs to know that I'm interested."

"You're impossible," you chuckle, picking up your phone to check the time. "Speaking of which, I should probably text Sukuna and let him know I got home safely."

Gojo perks up immediately, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Ooh, can I help with that?"

You raise an eyebrow suspiciously. "What do you mean?"

He grins devilishly. "Give me your phone. I'll text him for you."

You hesitate for a moment, weighing the risks of letting Gojo loose with your phone. But after a moment's thought, you hand it over with a smirk. "Alright, but no funny business."

Gojo takes the phone eagerly, his fingers flying over the screen as he composes a message. "Don't worry, I'll be on my best behavior."

He taps away for a few seconds before showing you the screen. "There. Sent."

You read the message aloud, your eyes widening in surprise. "It's Gojo. Does Geto like men?"

Gojo grins triumphantly, handing the phone back to you. "Now we wait for Sukuna's response."

"You're unbelievable," you laugh, shaking your head as you put your phone down. "I can't believe you just did that."

As you set your phone down, still chuckling at Gojo's audacity, it suddenly lights up with an incoming call. Your heart skips a beat as you see Sukuna's name flashing on the screen.

"Oh no," you mutter, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. "He's calling."

Gojo raises an eyebrow mischievously. "Well, aren't you going to answer?"

You hesitate for a moment, debating whether to let Gojo handle the situation. But before you can make a move, Gojo snatches up your phone with a grin and answers it before you can stop him.

"Hello, Sukuna," Gojo says casually, leaning back on the couch as if he's answering his own phone. "Yeah, it's me, Gojo. Sorry to disappoint, but Y/N left her phone with me. So, does Geto like men?"

You lunge forward, panic rising in your chest. "Gojo, give me that phone!"

But Gojo dodges your grasp effortlessly, grinning as he keeps his attention on the call. "What? Oh, she's fine. Just a bit annoyed that I'm hijacking her phone. So, about Geto..."

You let out an exasperated groan, trying again to grab the phone from him. "Gojo, seriously! Give it back!"

Gojo laughs, evading your attempts with surprising agility as he continues speaking into the phone. "Yeah, yeah, Y/N's trying to kill me for asking. But hey, inquiring minds want to know."

You dive for the phone once more, nearly toppling over the coffee table in your pursuit. "Gojo, I swear!"

Gojo dances away from you, effortlessly dodging your furious attempts to reclaim your phone. "Hold on, Sukuna. Let me put you on speaker. Y/N's dying to hear the answer."

You freeze, realizing you're caught in Gojo's playful trap. You give up your chase for a moment, glaring at him with mock fury. "Gojo, you're impossible."

He grins mischievously, finally relenting and putting the call on speaker. "Alright, Sukuna. Now that we have an audience, spill the beans. Does Geto like men? I need to know if that criminally sexy hunk of man meat is my future husband"

"For fuck sake," You mutter, taking a big gulp from the wine bottle. 

The room fills with Sukuna's laughter as Gojo's audacious questions ring through the speakerphone. You groan inwardly, burying your face in a nearby cushion as you listen to your friend's shameless interrogation.

Sukuna's amused voice cuts through the air. "Gojo, you're certainly direct. I can't say about Geto's preferences, but I'm sure he'd appreciate the attention."

Gojo, undeterred, continues his playful banter. "Alright, fair enough. Now, on a scale of one to ten, how hot do you think my best friend is?"

You shoot Gojo a death glare, mouthing 'stop it' furiously, but he's too engrossed in his antics to notice. You grab a cushion and hurl it at him with all your might, hitting him square in the face.

"Ow! Hey!" Gojo protests, momentarily distracted from the call. "Okay, okay, I get it. Just asking for a friend."

Sukuna chuckles on the other end of the line. "I'd say she's a solid eleven."

You groan again, your face burning with embarrassment as you snatch the phone from Gojo's hand. "I'm so sorry, Sukuna. He's incorrigible."

"No need to apologize," Sukuna replies. "It's been entertaining, to say the least. But Gojo, you might want to tread carefully with those questions."

Gojo rubs his nose where the cushion hit him, his grin undiminished. "Understood, Sukuna. But one last thing – you don't cry after doing it, right? Because if so, you're not allowed near Y/N. She's been through that before-"

Sukuna's hearty laughter echoes through the speakerphone again as Gojo's teasing provokes another exasperated response from you. You grab your sketchbook from the coffee table and fling it at Gojo with all your might. The sketchbook sails through the air, narrowly missing Gojo's head as he ducks, still chuckling.

Before Gojo can finish his sentence, you launch yourself at him with a primal yell, tackling him to the ground. He lets out a surprised grunt as the two of you crash onto the floor, cushions and blankets flying everywhere.

"Gojo, shut up!" you yell, wrestling to pin him down while he continues to laugh uproariously.

You manage to wrest the phone from Gojo's grasp and, without missing a beat, dash toward your bedroom. "Sorry, Sukuna! Give me a second!" you call out, sprinting down the hallway. Gojo's laughter follows you as you slam your door shut and lock it, leaning against it for a moment to catch your breath.

"Finally," you mutter, bringing the phone to your ear. "Sorry about that, Sukuna. Gojo can be a bit... much."

Sukuna's laughter is still present in his voice. "No worries, Y/N. It was entertaining. You have quite the energetic friend."

"That's one way to put it," you sigh, feeling a mix of exasperation and fondness. "So, about what Gojo said..."

"Don't worry, I'm not a crier," Sukuna says and you breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thank God," You say.

"I'm curious to know about the crier," Sukuna's voice has a teasing lilt to it. 

"I'll tell you!" Gojo calls through the door. "Her ex would cry almost every time they-"

"Gojo, I will take the kitchen knife and-" you start to threaten, your voice carrying a mix of genuine frustration and playful menace.

Gojo's voice interrupts you through the door. "And do what? Cut my precious hair? You wouldn't dare!"

"No, I have some garden shears reserved for your hair!" you call back, your tone dripping with mock menace. "Rusty and blunt."

Gojo's laughter booms through the door. "You wouldn't dare. My hair is a work of art!"

"It's a work of something, that's for sure," you retort, a grin spreading across your face despite yourself.

Behind the door, you hear Gojo's exaggerated gasp. "I am hurt, Y/N. Deeply hurt. I thought we were friends."

"We are," you chuckle, shaking your head. "But seriously, stop eavesdropping."

Gojo's voice turns playful again. "Fine, fine. I'll leave you and Sukuna to your romantic phone call in peace. But remember, if you need any tips on handling a tattooed bad boy, I'm your man."

You roll your eyes, the amusement clear in your voice. "Thanks, Gojo. I'll keep that in mind."

Once you're sure Gojo has retreated, you settle back against your bedroom door with a sigh, bringing the phone back to your ear. "Sorry about that, Sukuna."

Sukuna's warm chuckle fills your ear. "No need to apologize. Your friend seems... colorful."

"That's one way to describe him," you agree, feeling a smile tug at your lips. "So, what were you saying before we were interrupted?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to come to the parlour again," Sukuna says, his voice taking on a slightly more serious tone. "But this time, it's closed, and I thought we could have a different kind of date."

Your curiosity piques. "A different kind of date?"

"Yeah," Sukuna continues, his tone gentle yet filled with anticipation. "I have some fake skin for tattoo practice. I thought maybe you could bring your sketches, and I could show you some basics. If you're interested, of course."

The idea sends a thrill through you. "That sounds amazing, Sukuna. I'd love to learn more about tattooing from you."

"Great," Sukuna replies, his voice warm with approval. "How about tomorrow evening? I'll set everything up, and we can take our time."

You feel a rush of excitement at the thought of spending more time with Sukuna and delving into his world of tattoo artistry. "Tomorrow evening sounds perfect. I can't wait."

"Me neither," Sukuna says softly. "I'll text you the details. Until then, Y/N."

"Until then, Sukuna," you reply, feeling butterflies flutter in your stomach as you hang up the phone.

As you hang up with Sukuna, Gojo bursts back into your room with his usual dramatic flair. "So, spill the tea! What did Sukuna say? When's the next hot date?"

You chuckle at his enthusiasm, shaking your head at his antics. "Tomorrow evening. We're going to the parlour after hours."

Gojo's eyes widen in mock surprise. "Ooh, after hours? That's scandalous. Are you sure you're ready for that level of intimacy?"

Rolling your eyes, you play along with his teasing. "It's not like that, Gojo. We're just going to practice tattooing on fake skin."

Gojo raises an eyebrow suggestively. "Sure, sure. Tattooing. I get it. Wink wink."

You laugh, swatting at him playfully. "Stop it, you perv."

Ignoring your protest, Gojo flops down on your bed dramatically. "Seriously though, I'm happy for you. Sukuna seems like a good guy. And hot, let's not forget hot."

"You're not wrong," you admit with a grin, unable to deny Sukuna's attractiveness.

"And what about Geto?" Gojo prompts eagerly, propping himself up on his elbows. "When are you setting me up with him? You promised!"

You shake your head, amused by his persistence. "I'll see what I can do, Gojo. But don't get your hopes up too high."

"I'm counting on you, Y/N," Gojo says dramatically, clutching his heart as if wounded. "My future happiness depends on this."

"Your future happiness depends on many things, but sure, I'll add 'Geto matchmaker' to my list," you reply, teasing him gently.

Gojo grins, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. "You know I trust you with my love life, Y/N. You've got impeccable taste."

"That's debatable," you quip back, enjoying the banter with your friend.

He sits up suddenly, his expression turning serious for a moment. "But seriously, Y/N. I'm glad you're hitting it off with Sukuna. You deserve someone who appreciates your sketches and makes you laugh."

Your heart warms at his sincerity. "Thanks, Gojo. That means a lot."

"Anytime," Gojo says with a grin, returning to his usual playful demeanour. "Now, back to Sukuna and Geto. Double date soon, perhaps?"

You laugh, shaking your head at his relentless matchmaking efforts. "Let's see how tomorrow goes first, okay?"

"Fair enough," Gojo concedes with a shrug. "But just remember, I'm counting on you."

"I won't forget," you assure him, already looking forward to the next chapter with Sukuna and whatever adventures (and matchmaking schemes) Gojo might drag you into next.

taglist - @sad-darksoul @thejujvtsupost @kyo-kyo1

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

What is your opinion on each of the known students in Ms. Mendeleiev's class (Marc Anciel, Aurore Beauréal, Mireille Caquet, Jean Duparc, Zoé Lee)? I realize that Zoé’s section of your answer will most likely be the longest, but I figured I’d go ahead and put them all in one ask anyways since there’s only five out of sixteen total and having one ask for each of the other four seemed unnecessary.

Zoé is going to get the most analysis out of me, so we'll save her for last and start with the character that I have the least to say about:

Jean Duparc

I didn't even know who this was, so I had to check the fan wiki page about him. He's apparently a minor character who gets akumatized and defeated off screen. His design is so generic that the trivia section reads, "Jean's design is a regular background model used in groups and crowds in the series."

So, yeah, nothing to say about this one. I can't have opinions on a character who barely even counts as a character.

Mireille Caquet

Mireille is a minor step up from Jean in that I actually know who she is - she's the girl who wins the weather reporter job at the start of Stormy Weather - but as far as her personality goes, I have nothing to comment on because Mireille does really have a personality. She only exists so that Aurore has someone to lose to at the start of Stormy Weather. That's why Aurore has a really cool and memorable design while Mireille looks like she's wearing pajamas. I don't think Mireille even has lines at any point in the series. If she does, they're not memorable, making her another character who barely counts as a character, leaving me nothing to talk about.

Aurore Beauréal

I really like Aurore's design, but there's not much else for me to say about her because we don't really get to know her character. She made for a fun akuma and that's all that she was meant to be. Her non-akumatized lines are just generic ranting about her loss

Aurore:(in the elevator) I should have won, I have the talent, the star looks, everything! But she took everything away from me. They took everything away from me! They--

and a generic statement of confusion after she's freed from her akuma. I wouldn't have been upset if she'd become a reoccurring character because - once again - she's got a really cool design, but I can't tell you anything else about her, so there's nothing for me to analyze.

Marc Anciel

Marc is the first character with some actual substance, but the substance is hardly abundant. He's just a kind of generic shy writer. I'm not sure why he's been added to the cast as a reoccurring character because they really didn't need more characters and they already have a writer in Alya. So I don't dislike him, I think he's fine, I'm just not sure why he's here. I was especially confused when he was given a miraculous because what has he done to earn one? He's not even part of the miracuclass where everyone gets a miraculous no matter how unworthy they are. It feels like he was just picked because they needed 18 holders, but they only had 17 and Marc is Nathaniel's comic-writing buddy, so I guess he's good enough?

Speaking of Nathaniel, I know that people ship him with Marc and that they're kind of implied to be together in the show, so I guess I should comment on that? I have to admit that I'm not a fan. Nathaniel's actions in Reverser were incredibly off-putting making this yet another couple with a really unhealthy foundation to their relationship. Why does Miraculous keep doing that???

In case people don't remember, Marinette gives Nathaniel Marc's story to read and Nathaniel assumes that it's Ladybug's private diary because the story is called "Diary of Ladybug". Why Nathaniel thinks that Ladybug would have Marinette deliver her private diary to him is beyond me. This is especially true since it doesn't read like any diary I've ever seen and the episode starts with these exchanges:

Marinette:(sees Marc) Marc you made it! (Marinette runs up to Marc and grabs his arm) Come meet everyone! (dragging him inside) This is Marc, the boy I told you about! The one who's always writing. Marc:(hides his book in his jacket) Uh... I'm sorry I didn't want to disturb you.

Jean-Pierre: Alix is our expert at street art. (Alix flips spray can in the air and catches it) And Nathaniel- Alix: He likes to draw people in skinny suits. (Nathaniel throws a piece of paper at Alix and she laughs) Nathaniel: Welcome Marc. As you'll find out, the good thing about this place is you can say whatever you want and no one will judge you, or only in good fun. (Marc notices Nathaniel's drawing and walks over to him) Marc: I... I saw your drawings on the school website, but they're nothing compared to the real thing. The movement, the expressions, the attitudes. They're all so-- Nathaniel: Thanks... That's nice.

Jean-Pierre: By the way Marc, you've shown up at the perfect time. Marinette told us that you're always writing and Nathaniel is looking for a script writer. (Nathaniel smiles at Marc)

Based on all this, it's not weird for Marinette to assume that Nathaniel would be able to guess that she was giving him Marc's writing. After all, the first few scenes of this episode all happen during the same day, meaning that Nathaniel was given this book right after being told that Marc liked his art, being told that Marc was a potential script writer, and being told that Marinette was Marc's friend, but whatever. What really matters is that, when Nathaniel goes to meet "Ladybug" and finds Marc instead, he gets extremely mad and rips Marc's book in half:

Nathaniel: What?! You're not Ladybug! Marc: Of course I'm not, it's me, Marc. Didn't Marinette tell you? Nathaniel: Marinette? (He looks over to Marinette's balcony, where he sees her filming him) Marinette: Uhh, operation "Comic Book" has hit a snag! (Tikki hides) Nathaniel: You were trying to make a fool of me, weren't you? (Points accusingly towards Marinette) Do you think it's funny to toy with my feelings? Marc: No, not at all! I-I just want.. to make.. a comic book, if you want to, that is. Nathaniel: A comic book? Us!? Together?! Never! (He tears Marc's book in half)

Oh yeah, I'm totally shipping these two. Couple of the century here. Really living up to that whole, "say whatever you want and no one will judge you, or only in good fun" thing, Nathaniel. Why did you even jump to the idea the they were making fun of you? Nothing in the episode set that up as a reasonable conclusion. No one was bullying you and you seem pretty freaking secure about yourself. If any character was set up to assume they were being made fun of, it was Marc!

This is another case where the show is trying to make things Marinette's fault, but she's actually not doing anything wrong. This is almost entirely on Nathaniel. They had a relatively minor miscommunication and, when he discovers that, his reaction is to destroy another artist's passion project in a fit of rage.

Anyone who thinks that it's okay to destroy another person's property because they're hurt needs anger management classes before they're ready to date anyone. Any time I see Marc and Nathaniel together, I remember this moment and wish that Marc would get out of there because I just don't view Nathaniel as a safe person. This was just such a massive overreaction and it gives me major ick vibes. Especially since this is yet another case where the wronged party never really gets an apology. The most we get is this:

Ladybug:(turns to Marc and Nathaniel) Marc and Nathaniel? By now you realize there was a big misunderstanding, but if you give each other a chance, I'm sure you'll find out how well you can work together. (Nathaniel holds out his hand, Marc looks, smiles and shakes Nathaniel's hand)

Why are we implying that there was blame on both sides here? Marc was the wronged party in every conceivable way. Once again, major ick vibes.

Zoé Lee

Zoé is written like someone's Mary Sue self-insert which is not a dig on Mary Sues! Mary Sues are just the most popular female equivalent to escapist male power fantasies and escapist fantasies should belong to all genders! However, if you're going to write a character like this, then they're supposed to be the main character. It's really freaking weird to have a side character written like this.

What do I mean by a Mary Sue self-insert?

Zoé shows up out of nowhere and immediately becomes best friends with all of the core cast members

Zoé has a tragic backstory that everyone finds oh so sad and comforts her over even though it really should make them wary of her ("I used to lie about everything and it lost me all my friends!" Yeah, I'll bet it did!)

Zoé is good at basically everything she tries and has no real flaws

Zoé gets brought into the magical girl squad in her second appearance, making her the character with the least development prior to being given a miraculous

Zoé is somehow the voice of reason, seeing the truth of things while everyone else is deceived in episodes like Kwami's Choice or Adoration, giving her things like the anti-Lila powers previously only held by Marinette and Adrien

Zoé is chosen as Adrien's replacement while Alya replaces Marinette, implying that these two are on equal standing somehow

In other words, Zoé is generic and kind of boring, but is treated as the best thing ever, which makes her a pretty annoying and crappy side character. The reason characters like this are successful main characters is because the whole point is escapist fantasy. You're supposed to be able to project yourself onto this generic cool person and pretend it's you being fawned over by your favorite characters. It's not my cup of tea, but I see the appeal and get why it's not hard to find stories like this especially in the romance, isekai, and fanfic genres, all of which are big on escapism.

While I will defend this type of character as fine in general, they have no place in a show like Miraculous. Miraculous is not an escapist fantasy. It's supposedly Marinette and Adrien's love story, so what is a self-insert fantasy doing here? The show really showcases how awkward this is in Adoration where Marinette spends the whole episode freaking out about Zoé liking Adrien - because of course the self-insert gets a love triangle with the leads - only for Zoé to confess her feelings for Marinette like a good little self-insert would, but of course Marinette can't accept those feelings so it's just kind of fizzles instead of leading to the standard self-insert romance with their favorite character. Writers, what are you even trying to do here? Why is Zoé getting all this attention? It's weird...

Zoé's awkwardness is only exacerbated by the fact that she's also a blatant Chloe replacement and I don't just mean the fact that she gets the bee. I mean that she's often used to disseminate information that Chloe would have or to fill the role that a redeemed Chloe would fill. For example, take this scene from the episode Gabriel Agreste:

Zoé: (rudely) Jean Quinton, did my mother tell you that the dinner party is no longer at Gabriel Agreste's tonight? Armand: Oh no! Madam didn't mention anything to me. Zoé: A helicopter will be coming to the roof, to take you over to the Eiffel Tower. Armand: Is mademoiselle sure about this? Zoé: Excuse me? Are you suggesting that I might be wrong? (walks away) Ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous! (to herself) Sorry, but it's for a good cause.

The writers needed Chloe for a minute, so Zoé adopts Chloe's personality to allow them to have a good Chloe without doing the work to actually make Chloe good. Btw, this scene shows exactly what I mean when I say that I want a wild card on the team. Someone who isn't afraid to be mean to get the job done. The writers clearly understand that a character like that has their uses, but then you'd have a character who is on the side of good, but who isn't a total goody two shoes and I guess we can't have that?

As you've probably picked up, I'm not much of a Zoé fan. I find her pretty obnoxious because she's so wildly out of place. Outside of her role as substitute Chloe, her character adds nothing to the story. There's no missing role that she uniquely fills because the cast was already bloated as heck when she showed up. To be fair, there are ways this could have been fixed.

Zoé shows up right after Chloe's betrayal and she almost immediately reveals herself to be a status chasing liar who is trying to be a better person. This should make everyone super wary of her and could have been used to demonstrate the difference between a person who doesn't want to change (Chloe) and a person who does want to change (Zoé). This would require the show to allow for multi-episode arcs, though, because Zoé's acceptance would need to be a slow process and not speed run in a single episode.

You could have also had Zoé show up at the same time as Audrey and used her as part of Chloe's story either to drive Chloe to be worse or to give Chloe someone who helps her get better because no one understands your messed up home life better than your siblings.

But those are some pretty major changes to canon. As is, Zoé is totally unnecessary and I wish that the writers would stop trying to make us love her by giving her cool roles in the story, shafting characters that we've all wanted more of in favor of this rando that they forced on us at the last minute. I will forever be salty that Zoé got the black cat instead of Nino. Alya had already had her identity outed twice, give someone else the Ladybug and let Nino get a chance to shine! Or just give the ladybug to Alya and black cat to Nino and imply that this is going to be a new love square situation. After all, Kwami's Choice has Tikki claim:

Tikki: No, they’re made for each other. Love is what gives them their strength.

Implying that the ladybug and the black cat should be in love so why are you picking Zoé and Alya? Not exactly opposed to that ship, but I don't think it's actually the plan, so what was that about? Plagg and Tikki didn't even seem to consider the comparability of their new chosen which is super weird given the whole "made for each other" line we get from Fu when he picks Adrien and Marinette in Origins. You can tell that no care was put into choosing the replacement heroes. They just once again wanted to show how cool Zoé is.

[allwormdiet]

Extermination 8.3

Oh fucking boy

This isn't a really revelatory passage, it's just like. Even more reinforcement that Leviathan is a fucking beast. More dead, more downed.

Taylor the fact that you even bothered to show up is above and beyond what should ever be asked of you, you are fifteen for fuck's sake, staking your life against the defeat of a hateful animate Splash Mountain is not your fucking purview! You should be playing Minecraft or something!

"Sorry I wasn't traumatized in a way that lets me save your life" Hello??

I can't imagine Taylor gets to feel like a part of most communities, honestly. Also I'm not sure that the cape community is any kind of monolith, so whether she "fits in" with them all is kind of moot.

Byyyye, Iron Falcon.

That's such a funny thing to ask somebody, honestly.

And then this is a crazy hardcore thing to ask somebody. This arc does a lot to establish that Skitter is just straight up on another level when it comes to comfort on the battlefield compared to even veteran capes, girl will nearly get pulped by Neptune's fucking wrath and then wonder why other people died while she's still conscious

Oh, Taylor. I'm so sorry, he only gets worse the more layers you get into him.

Also. Okay so Gregor the Snail felt like a pretty sympathetic perspective on how fatphobia stings people, but the life and death of Chubster in the realm of this story... kinda sucks. Like oh no, he's too heavy for Skitter to save him, have to leave him to drown I guess. I'm not saying it's an impossible circumstance, it just feels crass to have it in.

Hey Flechette, keep up the good work girl

The thing I keep coming back to with the Endbringers is that. Okay. These things have been causing horrific damage, mass death, and world-changing devastation for decades, and they've never been killed, and only one cape has ever meaningfully made the things fuck off in the history of ever. They are considered to be the most likely cause of extinction for humanity. Every time it seems like they're winning, even in the short-term, it's just the setup for another knockdown. It's giving them hope just so the despair hits deeper. What are the odds that's on purpose? What are the odds that everything the Endbringers suffer except Scion is just play-acting for them? Selling the capes' moves like it's a wrestling match, even as they don't feel a goddamn thing.

What if it's all just a sick game to an alien god?

This is so cool and so, so fucking dire.

God that's dark

Sacrifice play. Some desperate attempt to redeem himself in the public view maybe? A genuine belief that he can make this stick? I dunno. It doesn't matter, unfortunately.

What a way to sell the fucking outrageous devastation that this monster unleashes in the span of. What, an hour? Less?

Also hey what good is all the missiles and lasers and forcefields if Leviathan is just gonna pick the whole PHQ up and smash it onto the shoreline

So many goddamn downed, it's crazy. And y'know, knowing the rest of the arc we know Tattletale's still standing but of course Skitter is fucked up over losing Tattletale, that's the last person she's got who's willing to extend a hand towards her.

Most powers are dead useless here let's be real

Hey, good job Eidolon

Fucking brave of y'all to be shooting Bakuda bombs anywhere in the same ZIP code as someone you care about, but also god it would be so cool if this had actually worked. Just fucking lock Leviathan down in time out for a hundred years or so, buy that much time? Shame it fails.

Well. I'm not gonna miss the fucking Nazis, but rip in peace Dauntless, we hardly knew ye.

Triumvirate member tagged out. Alexandria was already down for the count, wasn't she? Or she at least stopped showing up at some point, so now it's just Eidolon repping the Big Three

although I guess if you asked Eidolon he'd call it "just Big Me"

First dead kid out of the lot, I think, if we don't count Falcon dying off the battlefield. Sorry, Shielder. I think Leviathan knew you were strong enough to keep being a problem. Gotta be fucking awful for Laserdream though, watching your brother die violently in front of you is. I actually can't imagine, thank fuck.

And then Sundancer down but not out. Honestly if anyone was gonna have decent odds of doing damage I'd have given it to The Fucking Sun, but that doesn't do much for defense does it.

Fucking outrageously brutal, god.

Man. I didn't even think about the fact that this thing is silent the entire time. No Godzilla roars or shit the entire time, nothing except for the rush of water.

Clockblocker keeps coming in clutch to save the day against citywide threats... Someone please for the love of god stop putting these children in the line of fire.

Also interesting that Taylor might be the only one here whose first response is to get him out of the water, for all that he's been her enemy.

Clever.

Taylor can be really harshly judgmental at times but I'm gonna be real I'm with her on this one, Trickster what the actual fuck is your problem. Like good job I guess but what the hell.

Y'know, the fucked up thing is that Armsmaster actually isn't wrong here, and his plan could've worked if he was, uhh. Genuine about it.

Does everybody's ability to give a speech go down the fucking toilet when an Endbringer is within half a mile of them? Is that what it is?

Current Thoughts

Wildbow really fucking knows how to put a battle together. Our POV character isn't actually fighting through 95% of this entire arc (and maybe shouldn't have been fighting in that 5% but we'll get there) but you feel just totally surrounded by the death and devastation that's raining down on all sides.

Unfortunately, I think it's about time for Armsmaster's big reveal on how to lose an arm and a shitload of credibility in record timing.

[ooosaiteruoooo]

saiki k killing game au??

so hear me out

what if saiko wanted to host a cool event for the third years in pk academy, so he hosted a "killing game" (nobody actually dies, there's like some kind of technology they use to simulate killing someone so there will still be evidence but nobody gets hurt) where each person has a randomly selected duo, and whichever duo wins both people get full ride scholarships..

this would take place on an island, sort of like the island arc from classroom of the elite

(in this au saiki doesn't have his powers anymore (post meteor) and then teruhashi and saiki get selected as a duo, and saiki realizes just how similar she is to him in terms of being smart and overly competitive, and they win easily-- imagine how many times he'd hit us with the "good job teruhashi" throughout

i feel like with saiki being a superhuman genius (i wish they used that more throughout the show) and with teruhashi being genuinely godlike in terms of manipulating social situations they really couldn't lose as a duo... but it'd be so fun to watch him and akechi have constant mind games kind like L and Light

to add an extra layer, if someone accurately guesses who your duo is, both of you will be removed from the game, but if they guess wrong, they get removed from the game.. that way, Teruhashi and Saiki have to guess each others thought processes, something they'd be good at because they both intuitively understand each other so well despite having such miniscule meaningful interaction throughout the series

this would just be such an interesting watch, because i love psychological battles, and i also love saiki and teruhashi's dynamic, so combining both of those would just be so, ugh

[hesitantvampirealien]

im bored so I'll try to guess something about you based on your favorite mcr + hesitant alien song (>>unserious!!<<)

I'm not gonna do all of them, just whatever song that comes to mind, so I'll probably miss a couple. Just ask me about any that i missed if you want. please don't take it seriously

Bullets

cubicles - you hate your job so much that you need to be comforted

mirror - you suck dick for cocaine

early sunsets - youre gay

headfirst - youre gay and depressed

demolition lovers - youre a lesbian

our lady of sorrows - you're a minecraft player who forgets to sleep and has to kill multiple armies of phantoms every in-game week

Revenge

helena - elder gay

im not okay - gay and depressed (and probably still in high school)

the ghost of you - you're a visual artist under psychiatric treatment

prison - you're INHUMANLY FUCKING HORNY and gay (and kinky)

thank you for the venom - you get into physical fights but you lose them more than you win them

deathwish - you're angry at someone or something, and you're not gonna stop being angry so soon

cemetery drive - you're probably another elder gay but a little more emo and/or into mcr than the helena elder gay

i never told you - you're angry, depressed and absolutely fucked in the head (and gay), but you're trying.

The black parade

welcome to the black parade - you're may or may not be a normie but you're a cool normie at least

i don't love you - you're either aromantic and feels nice listening to it (like me) or you're suffering with a relationship breakup and this song makes you sob your eyes out

dead // the end + dead - you're fucked in the head but you're trying to either disguise it or to be funny about it

sleep - you're probably into some weird abstract shit like Nurse With Wound (I'm a nww listener so don't come after me fellow nww listeners pls im joking)

house of wolves - you and the prison gay are equally horny (bonus if you two had sex) but you're a bottom and you're probably into humiliation kink, spanking and being tied up/wearing a collar and leash

teenagers - you are SUCH a fucking normie i swear to god

famous last words - you're traumatized

mama - deadly dysphoria that fucks you up

Danger Days

na na na - you're cute

bulletproof heart - you're probably nerdy

sing - ☭

planetary - you're also fucked in the head but you're even better at tolerating the pain + you probably go out at night a lot

party poison - you're non binary, angry, depressed, neurodivergent and tired of people existing but you try to tolerate it

save yourself - you're an angry gay and you're probably a bit more of a punk as well

scarecrow - you're a slightly older gay taking care of a young gay (probably the I'm not okay gay)

summertime - you're a little older, scarred physically and mentally and ULTRA depressed

destroya - youre horny as fuck and you want a threesome with the prison gay and the house of wolves gay

the kids from yesterday - you're painfully self aware about your age and your adult life

Conventional Weapons

boy division - gay

gun - gay

kiss the ring - gay and horny

ambulance - gay

make room - gay and punk

tomorrow's money - gay punk and horny

the world is ugly - you feel like you're extremely ugly despite actually being absurdly pretty

the light behind your eyes - you're just as mentally fucked as i am. :)

bonus lol

every snowflake is different - you're what normies call a giga chad and you're probably like a god or something

Hesitant Alien

the bureau - you're baby

action cat - you're cute

drugstore perfume - you're cute but you're suffering

brother - same thing as the light behind your eyes

zero zero - please fuck me i'll even bend over on this table for you

maya the psychic - you're the cutest and you're baby (and you're probably a visual artist)

[nicomrade]

Hello local Akagi and Sahara enthusiast! What do you think those two would think about each other? Would Akagi be impressed by Sahara's begging to be in a dangerous gamble?

took forever to get to this one cuz i cant make up my mind. so lets start easy i suppose

i dont think akagi would be... impressed by it but i tihnk he might respect it? at least an older akagi does respect it- hiro did some similar begging to be part of the east/west tournament and akagi enjoyed that. a younger akagi only looks at other people to tell if they can be "an existence like his" and doesnt care much beyond that. sahara IS willing to take risks and stick to his death gambling decisions so that 19kagi does respect id say? (if his conversation w urabe is anything to go on- he dislikes/d half-assed people) he wouldnt feel NEGATIVELY towards sahara anyway. but who does akagi even truly dislike ?... only time he gets mad is in the chohan arc so. hes a pretty easy going dude all things considered

sahara-wise i think hes got a bit of an ego and overestimates how really good at gambles he is/would be lol. like "please let me in ur death game and i promise ill win and i wont die and u wont have my death on ur conscience i promiiiiise ill win i can win id win anything" is kinda like erm. u dont even know what game itd be yet. and hes one of the first people to actually step on the brave mans road (if not the first? i forgor) so he has an outlook of "ok i can pull that off" and i think hed be impressed w akagi skills but not see him as a demonic gambler or anything hed hear about akagis risky wins and think "wow! so cool! i could pull that too!". but akagis drive towards death and destruction he wouldnt vibe with and maybe thats what hes scared of akagi for. the suicidal drive of it all. that sahara doesnt have he just doesnt wanna have to work a job hes in it for the money (which akagi has no interest in) like he wouldnt get why akagi doesnt care about money & isnt happy despite always winning really ("wdym losing is healthy? losing sucks. if i could, id never lose. this guys an idiot lol." <- sahara internal thoughttrack)

so i guess put together.... theyre both a bit puzzled with each other but feel generally positively towards each other? also sahara DOES die at the peak of his gamble and thats the one thing (19) akagi desired so maybe hed be a bit jealous of that. but then saharas dead so they cant interact

sahara also has social skills that akagi doesnt have... hes like if osamu was kinda fucked up. like sahara would maybe make himeslf look like easy pickings so he can scam his colleagues and then akagi walks in and wins his bets before sahara can pull his scheme.? vs osamu just being straight forwardly picked on by his colleagues lol. sahara would similarly stick to akagi and follow him around if they met in those circumstances i think. but less in a "i admire you and want to learn from you" way and maybe more "let me eat off of ur scraps"

or saharas kaijis friend that akagi meets once and he just invites himself in akagis life and hangs around him. idk if hed be interested in playing akagi tho? saharas really just in it for the money lol idk that he enjoys games really. but they could be game buddies still thatd be fun even if not necessarily in-character

[narwhalandchill]

OMG NOOOOOO FIRST DEATH 😭😭😭

was it burgh??? was it colress????? (well. almost him. got fucked over w double full para and sturdy and his hyper potion)

NO. FUCKING. BIKER STANLEY ON ROUTE 4.

anyway you need the full story so firstly.

i did clear burgh with ease as usual by overpreparing like hell. then as mentioned above proceeded immediately to almost lose two mons and risk my starter to colress and only got out bc he got no crits and his klink refused to use thundershock against pat the dewott for some reason despite clear opportunity so like thanks for the incompetence i guess.

anyway then i went for my route 4 encounter and got trubbish which . L. at least its dupe clause for a few future routes and encounters

because of this i ended up deciding to go for the relic passage and try my luck with the dust clouds for a drilbur so i could have a strong ground type. took 8 years for dust clouds to spawn for some reason but i Did end up winning the 80% and getting my drilbur. Who is an entire situation by herself bc. Well

i catch her i rejoice i got my desires encounter excadrill is broken and ive actually never really used one in gen 5 playthroughs before. welcome to the crew myyr.

check her summary.

modest nature 💀💀💀💀 well its a nuzlocke not like i can get another one so we will need to live with this.

anyway that tragedy aside lets input her stats into an IV calculator to see exactly what kind of goober we have in here for ourselves.

..... my girl with an atk reducing nature . Has 31 IVs in atk . 😭 (for non nerds that is the highest possible value you can have in an IV for any particular stat meaning. big number bigger)

well that sure is. [Duality.png]

anyway even with that sad nature myyr is a fucking monster so i keep her in the front as i go through route 4 despite lacking some levels (red flag). she sweeps with dig and metal claw alone its cool

except then. Stanley.

Stanley with the. timburr that uses . Bide . on the turn that myyr burrows in for dig . bide. being the move that takes all the damage the user takes while charging it. and unleashes double that amount after a turn of charging . with priority.

i watch as myyr obliterates over 80% of that timburrs health bar. with one dig . During that very same turn of charging. the turn after which the accumulated dmg is going to be released

the only reason she didnt 1hko with that dig was because she was underleveled. and now im facing down like. a bide thats absolutely certain to hit MINIMUM 90 hit points on the next turn. and Nobody in my team has that much hp to just tank and survive it.

....i need to sacrifice someone.

and like. with this being the team . it was. pretty obvious who

paprika the magby from virbank complex inner area (i counted outside and inside as 2 different encounters no clue how the Pros see it but w/e) . who just did a Honorable job clearing burghs bug types alongside fig the golbat and pat the dewott. paprika the magby with a special atk reducing nature and no physical fire moves . who didnt even get to evolve .

im so sorry paprika . but compared to all the others here . ur duty is done . i cant get you fully evolved bc magmortar is a trade evo . there are no gyms left that ask for fire. there are other fire types to grab in a pinch . i cant lose any of the others

thank you for your service paprika 😭😭😭😭🫡🫡🫡

and so he took the stage for the last time............ going down to that STANLEY and his terrible timburr.... only to be avenged by none other than myyr .

dear Paprika . your sacrifice will never be forgotten 😭

[theladyragnell]

luck magic, new leverage <3

(This uses worldbuilding I wrote in an original ficlet years ago, so if you like, you can check that out right HERE.)

Parker is Lucky but not lucky, a difference she still doesn’t understand sometimes. It seems stupid that the Luck she knows, the odds she plays (but not too much, because cheating makes everything less fun), aren’t the same thing as the kind of luck where good things happen to you without you having to change the odds.

There are a lot of thieves like her. The people that become Leverage, she knows them by reputation, because she hears the stories about the way events bend around them. She knows that Hardison has to try fewer passwords to get into a network than anybody else, that Sophie can always guess just who to be, that Eliot plays the odds about where a bullet will be and has watched him, with the right reason, walk through a field of them like he’s dancing. But they’re not lucky, like she’s not lucky: they lose people, screw up when they don’t know what odds they’re playing.

“Happy,” Eliot replies when she says so one night early on, face twisted like it is when she says something that isn’t normal even for people like them. “The word you’re looking for is happy.”

Parker scowls at him. “No, I mean lucky, because I mean whether things happen to make us happy or not is random. Or at least I never felt anyone playing the odds when bad things happened to me.”

“Nana always said chance and Luck aren’t the same thing,” says Hardison with a shrug. “Sometimes she said that Luck often comes to people life is hard on. I’m more focused on the future. I know how to play the odds these days.”

“Touch wood, man, that’s the kind of thing Lucky people say before they burn themselves out,” says Eliot.

Parker listens to them bicker, still undecided how she feels about it, but glad that for once she’s got other people around as Lucky as she is.

*

They don’t change each other’s odds. It’s a rule as hard and fast as “Don’t con your crew,” which means that sometimes Sophie ignores it, or Hardison pushes at the edge as a joke, but for the most part, they don’t do it, at least not on purpose.

A lot of Lucky people working close together, though, that tends to bend things. They don’t do it on purpose, but things start working out for them, when there’s no reason not to. Parker wins a box of chocolates in a random drawing without trying (not that she would have tried, she would have stolen a box and then left the payment later since it’s a small business and Eliot yells at her about that). Hardison orders groceries online and they accidentally put in twice the amount of orange soda. Eliot finds some weird hippie hair thing that makes his hair smell nice and does something he apparently likes at a farmer’s market. And it’s not isolated incidents, it’s just life: green lights and discounts and cool new safes in marks’ closets, all coming together without Parker making it.

Parker likes it, she kind of has to like it because it’s good, but it makes her nervous. She thinks it makes Eliot nervous too, but not as much Hardison. He’s always been a little luckier than they were, with Nana.

“I can’t decide if I like my Luck doing things without me wanting it to,” she tells Hardison and Eliot one day early in the time they’re in Portland. “I use it for jobs, and now all this is happening.”

“I like nice things happening,” says Hardison, rolling his eyes. “I don’t feel anyone tugging on the odds, so maybe it’s just chance actually working out for us for once.”

“But people say if a lot of Lucky people spend time together, odds turn in their favor.” Parker frowns, tries to find the words. They listen. They’re pretty good about listening, these days, waiting for her to figure out how to say what she needs to say. She’s lucky to have them, and not just Lucky. “If we split up, do things go back to being bad? I’d already be sad if we did, I don’t want to lose out on free chocolate too.”

Eliot grips her shoulder for a second before letting go, and Hardison offers his hand for her to hold. She takes it. “Nothing’s gonna split us up,” says Eliot. “Not for long. I’ll play whatever odds I have to, to make sure that happens.”

“What he said,” says Hardison.

It doesn’t quite fix this worry, but then again, a lot of the reasons Parker feels happy these days aren’t about chocolate or soda or hair care. They’re about her team. Knowing they’ll fight to get back to her helps.

*

When Hardison is gone, off on one of the jobs that only he can do, things always feel a little harder.

Which is stupid, Parker knows that. She and Eliot and Sophie are just as Lucky as ever. Harry’s a lot Luckier than any lawyer should be, and Breanna wouldn’t have survived a week in Hardison’s job if she weren’t as Lucky as he is. So it’s the same amount of Luck around, but it still feels like things aren’t easy, and she doesn’t know how much of that is missing him and how much of it is that her favorite cereal company goes out of business.

“Damn it,” Eliot says, exhausted, coming back home after a job, the last one since they all take separate flights. “Every leg of that trip got delayed.”

“You didn’t try to change the odds?”

“Couldn’t pull them enough without tipping someone off.”

She frowns. “That kind of thing wouldn’t happen with Hardison around.”

“No, but I wasn’t going to call him in space just to make him fiddle around with the control towers.”

“No, I mean—if he were on this job, it wouldn’t have happened. He wouldn’t have had to fix it.”

Eliot stares at her for a second, and then he sighs. “Nobody can be lucky all the time. You think I didn’t get delayed flights when he was still around? We just notice the bad luck more without him around, that’s all.”

“You said,” she says, and stops, tries to figure it out. “You said one time that the kind of luck that isn’t Luck is just happiness. You mean like that?”

His face softens into a smile. “Yeah, Parker. I know better what you meant these days, but I still think it’s about what we notice. Easy to notice things going wrong without Hardison going around. And you know he plays the odds to make things a little easier on us sometimes, even when it’s risky. Want to give him a call, let him know I’m home safe? What are the odds he’s free right now?”

“Pretty low,” says Parker, and puts her arm around his shoulders while she changes them.

[otsukare-katsukare]

some thoughts about 'kayfabe compliance'

i don't have 'moral issues' with RPF but i do engage with it on quite a different level to regular fanfiction (except john and paul they're a secret third thing to me but i digress). it's hard to fully put my finger on what's different about it, maybe there's a much stronger sense of thinking "this isn't real" the whole time because the disconnect between actual full people ive become parasocial with and the AO3 interface with fanfic tropes on it is much greater. anyway, it's a whole different mode of engagement is the point, so reading wrestling fic has a tendency to be a VERY whiplash inducing experience, due to how fast and loose one can play when it comes to what is the text we are writing fanfiction about here. cue a ramble

the basic divide is kayfabe vs shoot, where a fic is either about the fictional wrestling personas in their storyline, as if wrestling is just a very strangely set up long form soap opera (which it is), or it's RPF about the wrestlers themselves, and will reference their fictional personas as just that, fictional. both are fine and chill, i personally vastly prefer the former not just because it's less uncomfortable but also because, well, that's where all the conflict and angst is and I did sort of come here for that. but the existence of the second option is so interesting, because it's not actually a basic divide, it's a bizarre spectrum and nothing is certain. using sami and kevin as the illustrative example:

the very fact that throughout a 'shoot' fic, sami will still be called, well, sami. if he's called his real name you know you're in full speed ahead RPF mode, but using 'sami' places a layer of fictionality onto the whole thing, as if this is still a made up story about wrestling, it's just a story about wrestlers making up stories. i've never read any drag queen fanfic but i'd guess this is the same effect as using the drag names and writing about their reality TV personas which are varying degrees of authentic, but all basically created for audience entertainment, so is it even 'real people' fanfiction?

stories about el generico where el generico is sami in a mask, but wrestling is real. so he really loses/wins matches, he really gets betrayed and hurt by kevin, but the gimmick is kayfabe, meaning kayfabe also exists but then what is real and what's acting doe sit matter

this is a small thing but it speaks to the whole mindfuck, which is a fic in which kayfabe doesn't exist, everything wrestlers experience happened for real, but wrestling jargon keeps appearing like 'mark', 'bump' and most maddeningly of all 'jobber'! who's jobbing! they're just losing fights!

and then there's just the level at which the writer simply does not give a fuck about any supposed 'rules' and just picks and chooses what's kayfabed and what's not. case in point, a fic i read last night which started as a clear shoot/rpf fic - kevin and sami in the aftermath of Battleground, congratulating each other on putting on such a banger and chilling out in the locker room. only for the fic to reveal half way through that kevin's betrayal at r evolution was real he and sami just made up and i guess decided to keep the feud going for TV. sami went into his pre planned semi choreographed match with his best friend to conclude the story that began with said friend nearly breaking his back for real.

and all that is very cool, but the thing is it means such a different thing to me when i perceive something as entirely fictional vs actual feelings and events with the real person who made that fictional thing. i want the real person to be happy. i want an uncomplicated unmessy parasocial relationship there. i want the fictional character tormented in agony, and i usually specifically seek this out in fic. so when i enter a story, and it's not clear from the get go if im reading about fictional characters who caused each other terrible pain, fictionalised versions of real people who get along very well as far as we know and who are untouched by that pain, or some strange mixing and matching of the two, there's a real tension there as my brain tries to recalibrate what kind of narrative engagement is about to occur

[sinkableruby]

What are your top 5 Ougi scenes/appearances?

good ask to send me than,k you

starting from 5 well i guess i dont really have like a strict order except for maybe the top one i dont know i dont know i love all of them actually im just gonna do it in chrono order

um spoilers of course dont read this if u havent finished the whole anime (the whole anime!) there will be screencaps...

okay if im going chronoogically i must give my hat to owarimonogtari part 1. wait FUCK theres so many scenes in that shit.......... im gonna be running out of space damnit.... well to summarize it BRIEFLY... (how the fuck do you even summarize it briefly my feelings are large and want to burst out of my chest)... ougis sinister leading araragi down dark paths and poking at his past and knowing the deal but playing-dumbery and antics are just amazing. and shes so cool as she does it how did she get to be that cool! evil and cool.... thats the summary but the scene i would want to talk about is of course the showdown with hanekawa (the first one i guess). uh bc its like really funny? the showdown is great its such a fun buildup of tension and they're like passive-aggressive/plain-aggressive-but-still-loosely-following-social-boundaries trying fighting each other... its great. i think in the light novels when hanekawa says 'but i would have done a better job' ougis smile freezes. you can hear the glass break. you can just hear her in her head shes going like ".......................bitch,? so that's how you wanna play it?" i wish that got animated sometimes. and also of course. it ends how it ends.

its an incredible moment because literally the moment she says this you're like ah. i see. so ougi loses. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

LIKE GG NO RE 😭😭😭😭😭😭 SORRY OUGI YOU LOST.... DONMAI ITS OK DONT WORRY ABOUT IT. YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO SEE ANYTHING AFTER ITS LIKE AH. GOTCHA. i was rooting for her to win when i was watching but... this was just so funny. the best way for things to have gone i think.

its also so good how she stands there after like. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.......... usually ougi is the one doing things to people and its funny but this is also just so hilarious its done so well.

i also want to talk about otori, because ougi in otori is very cool. my first time watching otori i was very in tune with nadeko so hearing ougi do a kinda takedown of her was a very interesting experience for me. she was very sinister and severe and foreboding...... very fun. and of course when it turns out she's been tugging at the strings..... heeheehee THATS SO COOL. i mean looking at these scenes like some of these shots are so cool.

^ the face of someone so evil......

ok going later

i never see people talking about this one but the scene in hitagi rendevous in owari ge that happens on the second episode after the ending is like. oogh. its like the big instance before the finale proper in ougi dark where the show starts fucking slapping you in the face screaming "PAY ATTENTION THERE'S SOMETHING IMPORTANT HAPPENING HERE"

like this shot this FUCKING SHOT. is it just me? is it just me am i the only one who feels acute pain at this? there's something about it thats just so............... like somethings wrong. like thats what i feel like something is wrong and im concerned for this person you feel me?

shes so tired trying to get his attention and do her job and all that shes pressing the doorbell laying down... and then she sees him and goes like 'im exhausted' and just keeps girlbossing like. and like asks araragi (from her perspective) not to kill her and hes just like no and shes just like damn that sucks oh well lol. like imagine being alive for 6 months having no home (shes laying on the god damn nameplate of his house augh...) and knowing full well you're about to die, the things youre seeing now will be some of the last things you ever experience before your consciousness is gone forever (bc she isnt going to hell shes being erased). that's so cool and awesome (horrifying). anyway ougi doesnt care shes got a job to do X) (shes so insane i love her)

also that home thing and the tiredness thing is one of the big things i wrote ougi stay about so ill just take the chance to plug it if ur still reading this go read my fic! i like it a lot i think its nice. its mostly funny but it also talks about this stuff too a bit. go read it

ok next.

dont know whether to count the different parts of this scene as separate or not but i think it shouldnt be separated bc its all important to the scene and that is OF COURSE: ougi dark starting with ougi's convo with tsukihi (the build up… it's oddly calm so you feel somewhat reassured but you KNOW something's going to happen… the buildup of tension starts here and keeps rising). the contents of that conversation, near the end are like, really cool things to be included because up until that point we still dont have SO much insight as to who ougi is but she opens up a bit to tsukihi here and its kind of a paradigm shift to see.

there's something so poignant about this fraught mood...

such an ougi way of talking about one's feelings about oneself...

at least for me when i was watching i was already like, kinda rooting for ougi bc i wanted bad things to happen to araragi (lol) but also like. ougis just so insanely entertaining and fun that like, uh obviously i would root for her here. so when this fun silly funny little fun character starts bustin out the:

its like woah wait huh back up hold on a second there. i care you>???????

like literally the whole confrontation with ougi and araragi it is just like oh no since when did i care about this character so much oh no oh god oh fuck...

like how come they gotta hit me with all these gut punches what did i do to deserve this

like whats so cool about it is with how its directed and the score (and the voice acting!! the seiyuu did an INCREDIBLE job) and everything you can tell shes scared but like again shes actually insane so she's just gonna be like yeah this is the right way for things to happen

(it seems a lot like she did all this wanting the outcome of her losing to araragi, at least to me. hanekawa also says so in the commentary tracks of ougi dark. so thats another layer. theres so many layers... i dont know how many of these layers people pick up on but by golly do i pick up on them)

and of course he saves her (imagine if he didnt? id kill him. WAIT ACTUALLY THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE "ARARAGI SHOULDNT HAVE SAVED HER" NEVER GO ON THE REDDIT DISCORD SERVER FOR MONOGATARI PEOPLE ACTUALLY THINK THIS WAY IM LITERALLY GOING TO KILL THEM ITS SO. ok i wont talk about it), and she gets mad and its like i KNEW you were putting up a bold front you had emotions this whole time and then its like. oh you had emotions this whole time and you were totally aware of everything and just kinda had to deal with it thats kinda fucked up (i think a lot about how being an oddity born of self-criticism necessarily means you have to be self-aware and how that leads to ougi being a kind of exceptional type of oddity and like how it ties into identity and like... all that stuff). but the emotional breakdown/outburst is so good... augggghhghhh its so good 😭😭😭

(like i think sometimes about how if they had done this wrong, it would feel out of place for ougis generally not-emotion-showing character/not emotional in general character, but they did it so well... its so good)

and of COURSE to cap off this perfect beautiful wonderful scene we get THE GWEH AKA THE PEAK OF FICTION. IT DOESNT GET BETTER THAN THIS. NO IM NOT JOKING. LITERALLY WHEN I SAW THIS I HAD AN EPIPHANY. NOT JUST BECAUSE ITS ADORABLE BUT BECAUSE ITS LIKE HOLY SHIT INTUITIVELY A PART OF ME UNDERSTANDS. THIS *IS* **THE** BEST CHARACTER. and i went to go pace around my room being hype about it. im not joking really bc the novel talks about it being like "an utterly unattractive true-to-life" groan or something that proves she has "substance" which is like... yeah! she's her own person! not just made of lies or w/e!! the gweh actually ties everything together in such a perfect way and i am physically incapable of remaining in bad mood after i see it. i saw it the first time and i was like :O -> :) -> :DDDDDDDDDD and that hasn't changed since it will always put a smile on my face 😌

also also ougi in zoku owari is incredible too so good. the TEEHEE THE TEEHEE IS SO AMAZING. like YEAH!!!! YOURE A LITTLE ROTTEN PRANKSTER TEEHEE!!!!!! YEAH!!!! TRICKSTER TIME TIME TO BE TRICKY A TRICKY LITTLE TRICKSTER YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! and we get more classic ougi exposition/explanation..... havent talked about this as much but their ideas are so interesting.... theyre so interesting and cool i would pay to hear them share ideas about things.............. anyway one other thing i really appreciate about this scene is the shared intimacy between ougi and araragi. it feels more personal yk. this sorta comfortable, natural, thoughtless intimacy is something i absolutely adore about their dynamic but it basically only happens right here in zoku owari, and not even so much in the light novel version. its interesting... i want to write about it. im GOING to write about it mark my words

also honorable mention to ougi in hanamonogatari. theres nothing like big enough about these scenes to mention in comparison with the rest of them bc theyre so short but. BOY OUGI YEAHHHHHHHHHHH HES TRANS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i saw that and i was like >:) yeah kanbaru wym hes been a boy this whole time >:)))) don't misgender him god...... >:))))))))))))) (AND HE LOOKS SO COOL THEY ANIMATED HIM SO COOL BC HES IN BOYMODE HES SUCH A BOY FUCK YEAH)

also fuck i didnt talk about the whole planetarium dream scene. that was also good.

ummm yeah i could just talk about this forever and keep talking about scenes and stuff but ill leave it here bc u said 5 and ive already technically named like 7 at least so. yeah. but i dont really have like a ranking order necessarily, except for ougi dark bc its just so so so SO good.

thank you for enabling my derangement ive been writing this since u sent it to me im so ougipilled right now you wouldnt even believe. im ougi wired.

[transgenderer]

It would be so easy to win at morality. All I would have to do is empty out my savings account and send $ to givedirectly (it would take a few days bc of transaction limits) then wander around aimlessly fasting until until I died. It wouldn't take long - 3 weeks without food is enough to die, probably less if I walk a long distance every day. Yet I don't. I'm not afraid of hurting my loved ones and I don't want to live. Yet I'm still posting instead of winning. Why is this?

well. okay so if we are adopting this stance, and to be clear i dont endorse adopting this stance, 1) unless you have a LOT of money (like, thru inheritance or something) and very little earning potential, you could probably net donate more money by staying alive, having a job, and spending as little as possible on yourself and donating the rest to givedirectly or whatever. which is actually really hard! part of why winning at morality is hard, 2) wandering around fasting aimlessly for weeks would be a crazy way to kill yourself. good chance you would get forcibly institutionalized. 3) your happiness (and that of your loved ones!) goes into the great moral integral in the sky! if you make them sad, or yourself sad, by your choices, that's bad to the calculator! ergo, i think its pretty unlikely killing yourself would be winning at morality!

i mean, to be clear, there are lots of reasons you shouldnt kill yourself. but "killing myself would be the most moral option" is a thought ive often had myself (especially when i was like 14), and man it just does not make any sense in any non-stupid moral system. its trying to justify your desire to kill yourself with ethics. if youre gonna be suicidal, say it from your chest, yknow. anyway i always feel like such a square encouraging people not to kill themselves but man. are you on antidepressants? antidepressants might be placebo but they made me personally way less into wanting to kill myself. if you are, have they done the wacky treatments? go for the wacky treatments. electroconvulsive works, its crazy that it works. but it does. anyway if youve done all that idk, move to another country, join a convent, write an album of shitty songs

the best anti-suicide advice is ive heard is that if you want to kill yourself, do something crazy instead. its not like you have anything to lose. and i think what you will realize, or what i realized, is that its not that i wanted to kill myself, i just wanted to be happy. which is less cool seeming than wanting to kill yourself unfortunately. but anyway. uh. personally i cannot reccommend eating a bunch of delicious food enough. worst case you get fat i guess. food is so good and delicious food can be very cheap. get some fast food you really like. eat candy, eat chocolate, eat cake. get a little pleasure in. speaking of i need to eat something.

[unsleepingtales]

Burrow’s End Episode Six Reactions! (And AP!)

Allow me to preface this by saying that my computer broke this week, I am doing all my schoolwork and real job work on my cellphone right now, and the following is transcribed from the reactions I wrote down in a real physical notebook while watching the episode on my phone.

If you’re wondering how I wrote emojis in my notebook. The small drawings are very bad. Onwards!

BUT SHE’S DEAD 💀

Some sort of mutation going on w/the giant thing?

Diversity Win! The threatening First Stoat uses they/them pronouns!

Bennett :D

She does tai chi 😎

Oh the twins! (So fun bc one of the main groups in my current home game is Also called the Twins)

Is this a dept head meeting or smth?

That’s. Creepy.

Ok.

OOP-

Blow up his spot lmaooo

I’m living for Brennan’s reality check analogies

Human ish teeth?

Erika Ishii I love you ❤️

Aabria the character voice you are doing for Kiran is Hot.

I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE???

I need Bennett to not be a bad guy ok? I need it.

What are you saying man

Brennan’s just Dying

That was pure Erika oh my god

Oh she’s full of it alright!

(‘Keep going’) oh Izzy <3

Y’know what if I was on the team to renter a nuclear power plant that had a reactor failure and I saw thousands of militant stoats I think I would just leave. Let them have it.

On the what, Ava?

Yeah no especially if those stoats were using the fucking nuclear power?? I’d just leave.

At least she remembers their hallway is blue.

I’m curious if everyone switching so quickly from calling it Blue to Light is a DnD/Improv/Adaptation thing or a characters assimilating thing? Maybe both? Maybe it’s conscious maybe not?

I’m still thinking about how smooth Aabria’s “Weap-Technology” was when introducing the departments

He’s not asking you to run. He’s asking you to stay.

I’m glad Aabria keeps pushing back when they read negative or nefarious intentions into things that one the face of it truly are just typical to this kind of situation and society

The family vibes are So correct.

Horrible. I hated that.

The most it’s possible to be.

Yeah, okay.

KIDS.

Oh god. Oh no.

Good GOD Tula

The SIDE EYE on that Jesus

Muahahahaha

Oh NO.

That went on for so long

I am Unnerved.

Hell Yes babe

GET HIS ASS I GUESS???

They’re like teenagers now right?

Well That was intense!

The casualness in Aabria’s asking for the stealth check while taking a sip. She does not give a fuck and I love her for it.

Check it out!

Do we not get to find out what happened to Ava with the Garage?

Oh that’s So creepy

MMHMM

I love Ava’s refusal to learn

YES THIEVES’ CANT MY BELOVED THIEVES’ CANT <3

I think what she said was “please help.” Which is different.

SIOBHAN.

Oh that’s gonna be merch.

The crack of noon is so true

THE COPPER PUN NICE ONE AABRIA

Ohohohohoho. The Dictator. Lovely.

🎶don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious🎶

Oh my GOD

Brennan of all people saying finally some action on this goddamn show

Also Brennan’s reactions to Izzy’s reactions… so funny to watch the face journeys happening at the table rn.

Love that for them

OH

A population support state 😭

Oh god oh fuck

MAP???

Oh holy fucking shit

I can’t wait to rewatch this on my computer so I can actually see and appreciate the detail. Oh my god.

Ooh the puzzle of it all is intriguing

“I’m gonna kill him.”

Jabroni <3

OOF.

Oh my god <3

That was really cool Brennan.

Ooh just noticed the dome!

Hey Brennan? That was really cool.

Everyone’s got Thoughts.

Oh yeah jump into the nuclear juice. Great.

Ava.

YES

Awwww

PUZZLE

Oh no

I need to get the build details of this map

Oh. My god.

HE WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME

Knight to C4 😭

That’s a fucking human skull.

Oh what does That mean

Huzzah.

(Most dejected/exhausted huzzah of all time)

God the comedy we do get in this season is so so gooOH

Not the wisdom saves 😭

Izzy.

Sometimes the dice fell a STORY.

Yeah okay

Oh god

Oh Jasper

Oh the stress is insane. Losing Jaysohn would break this family.

This can’t be the end of the episode?

Oh ok

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE

I love when DMs get to play DnD

DAD ARM

Nice catch!

OH I did not register that that’s the fucking radiation hazard symbol

Everyone at that table is so close to tears

AVA AND THORNNNN

Thorn himself <3

DOME.

Oh FUCK.

Preview for next week reactions:

What the FUCK.

WOLF??

I love JWC oh my god.

Adventuring Party Reactions!

Oh they’re jokingly pissed at her lmao

Woooo chipotle

Erika <3

I gUeSs I MiSsEd HiM

Aabria.

Erika takes METHOD NOTES

I’m so glad I’m not the only one who went ‘diversity win!’

Brennan Lee “Animal Facts” Mulligan strikes again

Felt so happy about seeing the human skull.

Jasper that’s such a fascinating theory oh my god

The intense NY came out

Okay but after this season… CAN we get set tours?

Yeah I am so curious about the in-world justification for the giant stone puzzle on top of the reactor.

OKAY thank you Jasper and Aabria I am Also a big reactor in games and sometimes I worry about being disruptive

I wanna go back and figure out what noise he’s talking about

Voice actor things! (Happy SAG Deal day!!)

I love actors so much. They are all FRIENDS.

[crystalelemental]

Having looked them over, quick immediate thoughts:

Roxie rules. I kinda love her kit, I will likely pull for her on that kit alone.

Piers is…good. His problem is Electric is covered forever better than he could ever do and Sludge Bomb is bad. His kit is very nice but does not feel necessary. TM is also kinda butt, you want to use it twice for his stats but that’s Poison Zone utility. That he doesn’t typically use so oops. Same issue on Electric Terrain being first attack, but at least he just gets straight to attacking.

Lodge Gladion feels alright. Mini SS Dawn on the buff profile with Haze utility. Feels competent for his value.

Selene and Elio have the best debuffs of all Eevee Day Varieties, but are cursed with only single-target attacks and overpowered types that don’t need their help. Elio slightly helps SS Lusamine if you don’t have NC Bede I guess. Dark has little use for Selene with Akari being right there.

Ryuki’s the fuckin man. Tech/Strike dragon man with solid Fire backup and a really cool gimmick they let actually be good. If he’s got a paid track I’m in.

Penny has excellent traits in rebuff, debuff, and SMUN stacking. Penny also has lopsided defenses and shit HP so I am nervous about the Sylveon Curse.

I haven’t checked grid, maybe that changes things, but Elaine kinda sucks ass. There is like nothing here I can praise except +3 crit in one action. Her kit is too random, and the hit-reload structure of her Quick Attack has never once worked for anyone.

Legit think the Eevee kid has more interesting stuff going on. Unfortuitous Swift has Gauntlet merit, that’s Oak’s thing. Shame about the horrendous defensive profile but I’ll take it.

Red’s kit annoys me because it feels exactly like SS Leaf but targets debuffs in the base kit so better. No healing though so worse. I hate Red so fuck this in particular.

The eggmon Eevee are Tech, thank god. Some notable wins: NY Lisia finally has a Zone bot that doesn’t lose something due to her being physical! NC Marnie has someone for Dark that isn’t a waste of their talents! Sprigatito is already out of a job!

[wrestlingisfake]

Dominion preview

SANADA vs. Yota Tsuji - Sanada is making his second defence of the IWGP world title. This is Tsuji's first match in Japan since August 2021, when he graduated the NJPW dojo and went on excursion in the UK and Mexico. He returned last month to attack Sanada, putting himself in line for this title match.

To me the draw for this match is how unusual it is. Dominion is New Japan's #2 show of the year, so you'd expect two big names to headline. It's not unheard of for a returning young boy to challenge for a title in his first match back. But a match like that would generally only headline a lesser show, unless the defending champion has the clout to carry the show all on his own. Sanada, however, is still trying to establish his title run isn't a fluke, and that he actually belongs among New Japan's tippy-toppy guys. So this is quite an experiment they've got here.

I still don't have a good sense of Tsuji's post-excursion gimmick or personality, so it's hard to know what to expect. (For comparison, watching Tomoyuki Oka as a Young Lion could not possibly prepare you for his whole deal as Great-O-Khan.) I liked the vibe in his hype videos, about some kind of wolf kaiju arriving in Japan from space, and his outfit makes him look like a dinosaur man, which is cool. Hopefully he gets to showcase a lot of new shit to get us excited for what's next. But Tsuji is not Kazuchika Okada in 2012, and I don't think he's going to win the big one on his first try. Sanada has to retain the title.

Hiromu Takahashi vs. Master Wato - Just days ago Wato won the Best of the Super Jr. tournament to earn a shot at Hiromu's IWGP junior heavyweight title. Notably, Wato completed his victory by beating two guys--Mike Bailey and Titan--who bested Hiromu during the tournament. Oh and this show is in Wato's hometown.

So it seems like Wato is a shoo-in, until you factor in that it's Wato. He returned from excursion in 2020 with an inscrutable grandmaster gimmick and immediately struggled against low-ranking juniors like DOUKI and Yoshinobu Kanemaru. For three years he's been presented like a misfire who's squandering his potential. Even his junior tag title reign felt like Ryusuke Taguchi was doing charity work for him. In singles matches Wato is 0-2 against Hiromu; in fact, Hiromu is junior champion now because he pinned Wato in a four-way to capture the belt from Taiji Ishimori. During BOSJ this year English commentary buried him throughout the tournament.

In short, they've done a masterful job making it feel like Wato can't win the big one, even when the booking suggests that he has to. If he loses here, I don't think there's any coming back from that--he'll be the YOSHI-HASHI of the junior division, jobbing in tag matches for the next decade with a confused look on his face. If he wins, it'll be huge for him...but much like Sanada finally beating Okada, I'll keep wondering if they're really serious about not cutting him off at the knees again.

I'm in the tank for Hiromu, but under the circumstances I'd much rather see New Japan make a new junior star than leave everything as-is. The junior division was feeling pretty stagnant before BOSJ, and having some of the newer faces chasing Wato on top would be just what the doctor ordered. I gotta root for a title change.

Kazuchika Okada & Hiroshi Tanahashi & Tomohiro Ishii vs. Jon Moxley & Shota Uminio & Claudio Castagnoli - Okada's team captured the NEVER trios title on May 3, and Umino quickly challenged them on behalf of Moxley. The third challenger, Castagnoli, is Moxley's teammate from the Blackpool Combat Club in AEW. The BCC is fresh off a major victory in an eight-man brawl against the Elite on May 28, and I guess they're still out for blood. Kenny Omega has been teasing getting help against the BCC from a friend in Japan; this match could give Okada a reason to be that friend.

Newcomers might be confused that Shota is buddies with the BCC. Basically in 2019 Moxley beat the breaks off of him and then "adopted" him as his personal young boy. I assumed the Shooter would come out of excursion with a Mox-inspired mean guy gimmick, but instead Shota returned to New Japan in 2022 wearing white, with happy uplifting music, and handing toys out to children. But he and Mox are still tight and they like to beat ass together, so it's all good. I'm not sure if Umino is officially a member of the BCC but he might as well be.

I can't clearly see where any of these guys go after this match, whether the champs retain or not. The only direction that even sort of makes sense is: Mox's team wins, beats down Okada, Omega runs in to make the save, so at Forbidden Door it's Okada & The Elite vs. BCC & Umino in a ten-man tag. So I guess that's my prediction, let's see if it happens.

David Finlay vs. El Phantasmo - This is for Finlay's NEVER championship. Finlay took over Bullet Club a few months ago and ELP was never happy with it, so Finlay finally turfed him out of the group back in April. Phantasmo returned for revenge last month, moments after Finlay won the NEVER belt. I've never seen ELP perform except as a douchebag heel covered in Bullet Club gear, so his reinvention as an anti-Bullet Club babyface should be something to see. But yeah, Finlay is going to murder this poor man.

Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI vs. EVIL & Yujiro Takahashi vs. Great-O-Khan and Aaron Henare - This is a three-way match for two vacant titles, the IWGP heavyweight tag team championship and the STRONG tag team championship. Aussie Open--Mark Davis and Kyle Fletcher--had held both titles until Davis was injured. Originally this match was Davis-Fletcher vs. Goto-Yoshi vs. Evil-Yuj, for only the IWGP title. Then it became two-on-two for both sets of belts. Then Khan and Henare demanded to represent the United Empire in place of Davis and Fletcher.

I hate to say it but it feels like the strongest move right now is to put the belts on Evil and Yujiro. Then you get 3-6 months of babyface teams trying to overcome House of Torture shenanigans, which is a quick fix for losing whatever story they had in mind for Aussie Open. Hell, maybe they can book Evil and Yujiro vs. Jeff Jarrett and Jay Lethal at Forbidden Door. Man, I'm just full of terrible ideas in this paragraph.

Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Jeff Cobb - This is a rematch from May 3, when Cobb challenged for the NJPW World television title but the match went to a 15-minute time limit draw. Neither man was happy with that outcome and immediately agreed to run it back. The first match was great, but the pitch here is "what if we did that great match again but shorter?" Yeah, I'm not a fan of the 15-minute time limit stuff. Sabre should retain.

KUSHIDA & Kevin Knight vs. TJP & Francesco Akira - The Intergalactic Jet Setters (Kushida and Knight) won the IWGP junior tag team title from Catch 2/2 back in April, and this is the rematch. A month ago I thought Catch 2/2 would fall out of contention, but during BOSJ, TJP beat Kushida and Akira beat Knight, which made this match inevitable. Kushida finished BOSJ with a miserable 2-7 record, so unless they're really breaking this guy down for a storyline his team desperately needs a win. I think they'll get it.

Tetsuya Naito & Shingo Takagi & Titan & BUSHI vs. Taichi & TAKA Michinoku & DOUKI & Yoshinobu Kanemaru - Taichi's team are four of the guys in Just 5 Guys; the fifth guy, world champion Sanada, used to be in Naito's Los Ingobernables de Japon stable. The two groups have been fighting ever since. It's starting to seem like this will keep going until Naito challenges Sanada at the Tokyo Dome in January. For now, though, I don't expect anything important to come out of this match, so it probably doesn't matter who wins.

Will Ospreay vs. Lance Archer - This the final match in a four-man tournament to decide the next challenger for the IWGP United States title. Kenny Omega won that title from Ospreay back in January. I was at the last Ospreay-Archer match back in 2019, and it was an unexpected treat, so I'm looking forward to seeing them square off again. Personally I'd be cool with Archer winning and going on to face Omega, so either outcome here is fine with me. But it's pretty clear the plan is to book Omega-Ospreay II, probably at Forbidden Door.

[casliveblog]

Custom Toonami Block Week 187 Rundown

The Witch from Mercury: Prospera’s still trying to get Miorine in on the Human Instrumentality project but she’s not having any of it, though she’s also drawn in by the plot and mysterious promises of understanding both sides of her parental angst. Meanwhile Suletta’s prepping for the big convenient school festival Battle Royale where several of the secondary characters are vying to resolve their ongoing character arcs. The Jeturk guys are still whining, the student council guys want to do something so that I’ll know what they even are about and Chuchu struggles for relevance despite her newfound PTSD arc now that she’s had a scrape with death and is hesitating to pull the trigger knowing weapons can kill. Sophie tells Suletta if she wins she wants them to become a legal family and she’ll even behave if that’s the case but Suletta already told Miorine she won’t lose to anyone even if the terms of defeat aren’t that bad so Sophie just wants to kill Miorine now. The battle starts and it turns out Sophie uses a bunch of puppet suits as her Bits and basically swarms the field as everyone slowly realizes these are the same Gundams that blew up the space station. They take Shaddiq’s dad hostage while Sophie and Norea run amuck as a distraction. Suletta releases what I’m preemptively calling the NewType Wave, that ball thing that lets people see their own flashbacks and connects Suletta to their minds, and apparently vice versa because Sophie discovers and Prospera confirms that Eri from the pilot is actually Aerial, Evangelion style reincarnated into a Gundam (didn’t really do a great job with the name, aERIal, geez) not sure exactly how that works since Eri was an only child and alive and well at the end of the pilot but it does make a few things make some more sense. So yeah that’s some shit, Suletta’s piloting an EVA of her reincarnated sister bound to accidentally help her wife implement Human Instrumentality, was not ready for the Utena/Evangelion mashup but here we are.  

Inuyasha The Final Act: Naraku gets a fun little villain speech now that the jewel is whole again and he gets to monologue about how long he’s been planning this and how much he’s been torturing the main cast to fill it with hatred. Meanwhile we have one last check-in with Kagome where it turns out despite missing 90% of the school year she graduates AND got into high school, this just backs up what I’ve been saying about Kagome doing really well in school before all this shit started happening. I know this is probably Final Act pacing shit but it’s really weird that they just let Kagome go back for her graduation ceremony while Naraku… just stares at the jewel for a couple days I guess before transforming into a giant spider, like the transformation takes seconds but he just looks at it for a while, luckily she gets back just in time for the final battle so everyone can reflect on what’s riding on this for them as they dive into Naraku. There’s a really cool little scene where Inuyasha leaves Shippo behind and tells him if they all die then he has to grow up and form a Naraku Rebellion and become the strongest demon in the world to avenge them and it’s a fun moment of sincerity for Inuyasha and Shippo’s relationship even if Inuyasha will never admit it. Sesshomaru could of course destroy Naraku’s new spider body FMA Envy “You just gave me a bigger target” style considering Bakusaiga’s the most OP sword in the world but Naraku has Rin on active human shield Anti-Bakusaiga barrier duty and does the same when Inuyasha tries to use Meido Zangetsuha on him. Inside Naraku’s kind of cool like he gets to basically make himself a Reality Marble where he has all the time in the world to both monologue and make other guys for Inuyasha to fight which if you’ve been watching the series at all you know those are Naraku’s two favorite things in the world. Kagome tries to make a break for the jewel but because they’re in a maze that Naraku literally controls every part of, he splits them up along shipping lines and lets the dark energy of the jewel corrupt Inuyasha Lord of the Rings style to turn him into a full demon even with Tessaiga’s protection, pitting Inuyasha and Kagome against each other just like he did with Inuyasha and Kikyo, even giving Kagome a cool poison arrow like ‘here girl, free shit’ so yeah we’re basically doing the Second Movie again except for some reason Kagome doesn’t think to tell Inuyasha to Sit this time.

Castlevania: So the structure of this episode’s kinda fun, we essentially have four plots, as we’ve had for most of the season but they’re all going down simultaneously and we have two fighting plots and two fucking plots, one good and one evil of each, like some weird symmetry. You’d think this’d make things hard to follow but until the end the details are mostly with the fighting plots with occasional cutting to “Oh, Sumi’s tits are bigger than I thought they’d be” so yeah, the twins get into some incestuous hijinks with Alucard and Lenore continues her petplay with Hector and neither of these two question why these parties suddenly want  to fuck them, like maybe it’s just me because no one’s want to have sex with me ever in my life but a sudden declaration out of the blue would make me VERY suspicious, it’s slightly more forgivable on Hector’s end since Lenore’s been working the gaslighting pretty well and he doesn’t really have much option but why the fuck is Alucard just letting the twins come up and be like ‘hey let’s fuck after class’ out of nowhere, like yeah he’s lonely and shit but there’s different kinds of loneliness unless you’re trying to imply he wanted a threesome with Sypha and Trevor all through Season 2 and it just never happened. Meanwhile the fighting plots see Isaac fighting his way through the midboss who uses his mindless zombies to reenact Silver’s ultimate attack from Sonic 06 and I was kinda expecting there to be more of a revelation about who this guy is or why he’s doing this but unless there’s a twist next episode idk he’s just Some Dude I guess and Isaac now has all of his horde for fuel. Also Trevor and Sypha get to fight Seraphim demons while the Evangelion Adam demon absorbs the souls of the townsfolk to open a gateway to hell. Honestly everyone in this plot is kind of stupid, like Sypha knew what these glyphs were and what they could at least theoretically do and just… left them there to do the Central Transmutation Circle, like even if you’re not sure, scratching out the bad guys’ mysterious glyphs can only do good things why did you just let them keep carving them? Meanwhile Sala watches the demon open a portal to hell and goes “I didn’t expect opening a portal to hell would involve so much portaling to hell” and dips out. Last but not least both occasions of fucking lead to either bloody death or contractual obligations, the only outcomes there ever are to sex even without demon magic. Alucard gets crucified and is about to be stabbed by the Game of Thrones twins while Hector gets bound by Lenore’s promise ring shit which like I don’t think she even needed to do that but a little extra insurance never hurt, god forbid we show people having sex just because they want to, you know. Also Dracula hears the call of the gates of hell or some shit and is like “God DAMNIT I just found my wife guys.”

Konosuba: Kazuma and the gang get their big rewards for their recent quests and entrepreneurial endeavors and of course Kazuma and Aqua immediately become giant scumbags about it, but it’s not hurting anyone so it’s kinda nice seeing them on the upswing for once. Darkness is doing some training and gets a prophecy of destruction while Kazuma gets a similar one telling him not to rest on his laurels now that he’s found success, which is exactly the opposite of what Kazuma’s instincts are but sure. Aqua also buys a dragon egg Jack and the Beanstalk style and it may or may not be an actual dragon but because this is Konosuba I guarantee something funny’s gonna come out of there. Also Wiz is dying because of Capitalism or something. Darkness is kind of distressed between training for an endurance competition, the new prophecy and the off-screen scheme to take down her entire family, so she signs the gang up for a Hydra quest to take their minds off of it and try to keep the success rolling… except it’s a fucking hydra and now Aqua’s trapped on its head while they’re scrambling trying to figure out something big enough to beat it.

Delicious in Dungeon: The group finds that the elf mage IS changing the dungeon around them to fuck with them so they can’t get out. They fight some dryads to get a meal while waiting to figure out a pattern to the changes and a path to help them escape, meanwhile Marcille helps Laios embrace his Paladin roots and learn some basic healing magic while Senshi gives Chilchuck the birds and the bees talk despite him establishing several times he’s like thirty. Laios tries to heal Marcille and she essentially fully drains him to half-heal a minor cut and then immediately gets him to grope Senshi’s boobs but oh well. Ironically they also get attacked by a Cockatrice and Marcille has to step in and do Laios’s job while Laios is exhausted from having to do Marcille’s job, some good class-mixing, fun stuff. Marcille gets bitten in the attack and ends up petrified and the gang half-ass a bunch of different cures that I’m betting probably didn’t do anything and she kinda just gets better on her own. It’s a good little breather episode after all the shit that just went down, goofy faces, turning Marcille into a statue, creepy faces on food, more Marcille suffering, classic stuff.

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End: It’s time for the end of the first test of the First-Class Mage Exam. We get a little followup on what I was talking about last week about Frieren not being excited about getting a spell of her choice, saying that the journey of pursuing magic is more fulfilling than simply being granted it on a whim. Frieren fights the old man and is able to no-sell his Fire Tornado because of course she did she’s fucking Frieren she eats fire tornados for breakfast. She easily beats him and then for good measure undoes the barrier made by Serie simply so Kanne can fight at full power against discount Gaara which is very in-character for her like she moves heaven and earth to help someone live up to their potential just because. The old man’s team is down for the count but like Wirbel’s team they do get a windfall of luck and just deck some dudes that had a bird and couldn’t fight back. So all the named characters pass to the next round of the Chunin Exams where we know all the fun shit starts happening and now that we’ve developed some of them we get character clashes.

Revolutionary Girl Utena: Now that the duel’s over, Utena goes to check on Wakaba who’s putting on a pretty good brave front but I wouldn’t be surprised if everything’s still bothering her. Meanwhile we’re drip-fed more of this secret council shit about whoever stands at the top of the Thought Elevator castle gets to change the world as they see fit and how the student council wants to break the world because they’re a bunch of weird rich kids and that’s just how rich people are. I tend to tune out these kinds of explanations since trying to figure them out before the big reveal episode gets confusing on a first watch through anyway but that’s the gist of it: Step 1: Magic Rings, Step 2: Duel/Marry the Girl, Step 3: ??? Step 4: Revolution. It’s funny because even the evil council don’t fully know what’s going on apparently they just get random letters from someone trying to end the world and magic shit starts happening so they just go along with it. Meanwhile Utena gets her new living arrangement which is weird because it seems like it’s like the third day of classes at this point but okay, no surprise she’s in a big empty house with Anthy and her rat Chuchu which I still can’t get over they just named the Gundam character after the rat like WTF. Still Saionji comes back all butthurt cause he got beat by half a sword and Utena isn’t really interested in all these deepstate apocalypse nonsense so she says she’ll just lose on purpose and get the hell out of dodge even if that means leaving Anthy with an abusive asshole. Still we go through the whole reused fight ascension song again and Utena finds her instincts and drive to win still kicking in, even opting for getting cut rather than losing painlessly, in the end she Yami Yugi’s some type of alter ego and wins again, saying that she just didn’t want Saionji to be mean to Chuchu anymore and Anthy smiles knowing she really did it for her. Would’ve been kinda nice for more connective tissue to that revelation though, like Utena says she’s gonna lose right up till she starts fighting and there’s never a point where she decides she wants to fight to protect Anthy from him and it almost looks like her Alter Ego won the fight without her consciously intending to but it’s still a sweet moment.