#I have a lot of experience but it was just my boss and I like I was the only person on her team đ what do you mean two references
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Beyond Probability JJK (m.)
summary: Matching with an idol? Unlikely. But with a 99% compatibility? Beyond probability. pairing: idol!Jungkook x f!reader genre: idolvers, S2L, fluff, smut rating: 18+, MDNI! warnings: fluff, fluff, a bit of self doubt, fluff, fluff, explicit sexual content, shower sex, unprotected sex, pls lmk if I forgot smth word count: ~ 4k
a/n: Itâs a rly cute and short oneshot, light and mainly fluff, nothing too deep, no big words etc this time. Just had to get it out of my system since the ideaâs been on my mind for months now (unedited bc I fell ill halfway through writing it đ¤)
a/n 2: This work is purely fictional. All characters and events are entirely imaginary and do not reflect reality. No translations are allowed without permission. Thank you for understanding! đ
Your biological clockâs tickingâhas been for some years nowâand even though youâre only now nearing 30, youâre painfully aware that the life you pictured as a kid might never come true.
Itâs not like youâre unstable in who you are or what youâre doing. Youâre fairly successful at your job, youâve got your own place, and youâre more social than most people these days. Still, youâre only what most would call average-looking, and even though youâve got a good career, youâre too soft to keep it up forever. You picture yourself more as a loving wife and mother than a corporate boss bitch climbing the ladder of success.
Thatâs also why your dating life has been rocky all along. Men see what you put out there, but they donât like who you really are or what you want from life, which has left you single for most of it.
So, when a new project startsâafter the K-pop industry finally acknowledges that idols need partnerships and a life of their own, and fans finally understand that these people are human too, that they deserve to experience love and happiness like everyone elseâyou decide to take your chances too.
Funnily enough, all the labels have teamed up, hiring not only the best scientists and psychologists from Korea but from around the world to create a program that can find ideal matches for their idols. Sure, science shouldnât determine who you fall in love with, but⌠what if it could?
After being pre-selectedâjust to confirm youâre not some crazed fanâyouâve spent over two weeks going through tests. Recorded interviews, personality assessments, even physical evaluations⌠now youâre staring at your companyâs computer screen, listening to Dr. Song explain the results through the phone.Â
âNinety-nine percent?â
âYes. The chances of such a high compatibility score are next to impossible. We see it as a perfect match and would like to introduce you to your match.â
âSure, of course.â Even though your voice is steady, you can feel your nerves flaring up like never before.
âIs tomorrow at 8 p.m. alright for you?â
âYes, that works for me.â
âPerfect, weâll see you then.â
Well, jokeâs on you, you didnât expect this outcome.Â
Meeting an idol feels surreal, and the closer you get to 8 p.m. the next day, the more you can feel the anxiety and doubts inside you rising. Every last detail in Dr. Songâs calm, clinical rundown replays in your mind, the ninety-nine percent match, the endless rounds of testing, the surreal realisation that, somehow, all those numbers and algorithms miraculously spat out a name next to yours.Â
You want to trust that thereâs a reason for this, that somehow science isnât just working with chance, but the tension of actually meeting someone this special is so overwhelming you barely notice yourself entering the lab building until youâre standing outside Dr. Songâs office.
âRight on time,â she chirps, giving you an approving nod. She seems to sense your nerves, and as she leads you down a hallway youâve never been before, she gives you a reassuring smile. âI know this is all a lot. But heâs likely feeling the same way. The tests told us that heâs, well, quite like you.â
Her words would make you laugh in any other situation, though disbelief and a strange kind of comfort floods through you still. Like you. An idol, standing here in a lab somewhere to meet some random stranger, feeling just as out of place as you. Youâre not sure of that but still like to think it must be true.Â
You donât have time to process it fully before youâre led into a quiet room with yellowish walls so plain they almost blur in the corners of your vision, a low, comfortable couch and a couple of chairs standing there and none of the lab equipment that surrounded you in the testing rooms all those weeks ago.Â
And then you spot him, sitting on the couch, alone. He stands the second you walk in, hands half in his pockets, a slight, almost unsure smile grazing his lips as he glances down at you. Heâs got that casual look about him, the same dark eyes youâve seen a hundred times on a screen that somehow feel warmer and more human here.Â
He looks not quite better than he does on screen, but not worse either. Somehow, heâs realer, if thatâs a wordâclose enough that you can see the little flecks of colour in his irises, the slight tension in his posture, the faintest trace of nerves hiding under his composure.
âHi.â Jungkookâs voice is lower, softer than you expect from an idol. âNice to meet you, Iâm Jungkook.â
âNice to meet you too. Iâm ___.â Thereâs a pause, and you can tell heâs just as unsure what to do with the space between you two as you are. The click of the door makes you turn around briefly, only to realise Dr. Song has left you both alone. âThis is, um, weird, right?â
He nods, a quick, breathy laugh breaking through. âVery. I mean, this isnât exactly a ânormalâ kind of meeting, right?â
His words are awkward but disarming, and suddenly, youâre aware of all the tiny, meticulous details of him that somehow make him feel more relatable than his polished, on-screen persona. The way his hand keeps moving to rub against his thigh or abs, his tongue playing with his lips and piercing ever so slightlyâeverything about him is familiar but also somehow close enough to feel completely new.
âI donât think I was ready for this,â you admit. You arenât really talking to him but more like letting your own thoughts slip out in the safest way possible, like saying it makes it feel less absurd.
âHonestly, same.â He laughs, and you think thereâs a light flutter in your chest now. âI kept thinking about this whole ninety-nine percent thing. Like⌠how does that even work? Isnât it supposed to feel, I donât know, obvious? Like you know the moment you see someone?â
You nod, understanding exactly what he means, and somehow you move on autopilot, walking towards him and sitting down on that couch with him beside you. It feels like you should both somehow know, like thereâs a sign or an instant connection, something that would make all of this feel simple, easy. But itâs just the two of you in a quiet room, barely knowing each other, held together by nothing but a number on a report.
âYeah, thatâs so wild. I didnât think Iâd have a match, this close to a hundred even less. Might be a glitch if our score is this high.â
Jungkook nods with sparkling eyes, seemingly relieved by your honesty and humour. âYeah, I get that. I kept thinking about it too. Wondering if maybe the tests were wrong, or maybe I was justâŚthinking too much.â He lets out a sigh, his gaze meeting yours for a long, meaningful second. âBut I think maybe this is about finding out, right? Not having it all make sense right away.â
âHm, makes sense.â You giggle, because what else can you do in the presence of him.
The two of you sit there in a momentary silence, as if testing each other, feeling out the small boundaries that keep you both distant.
âSo, what did the report tell you about me?â You ask the question half-jokingly, trying to break the quiet, but also curious. You want to know what he knows, how much of this supposed ninety-nine percent compatibility is actually something that either of you feel.Â
He lets out a silent breath, looking down as if slightly embarrassed. âHonestly, not as much as youâd think. They told me you were kind of⌠soft-spoken but resilient? And that you have a job thatâs, uh, stable andâŚâ He trails off, the tips of his ears slightly pink, like heâs embarrassed to keep going.
âAnd?â You canât help but push furtherânot maliciously, just way too curious and playful for your own good. Jungkookâs expression shifts from embarrassed to surprised, and then to a look thatâs just as playful.
âAnd that weâre, apparently, very much sexually compatible.â
Really, you should be the one feeling embarrassed or shy now, but you canât help the laugh that slips out. You know exactly what heâs hinting atâyour report clearly showed the same.
âWell, it might be not wrong. And they told meâŚâ You pause, realising that you barely remember the details in the face of the reality in front of you but alas. âThey said youâd be a good match because, I think, there was something about humour?â
He chuckles, shaking his head. âHumour? Never heard of it.â And it makes you laugh all over again. âI feel like they just told us things weâd want to hear, to make it seem easier and normal.â
His words hit close to home, but theyâre strangely comforting in the way he says them. You reckon, heâs just as bewildered by this as you are, maybe even more so. And somehow, in the middle of all the awkwardness, you find yourself genuinely smiling at him, naturally gravitating towards him, finding that thereâs a softness and reassurance in his gaze, a gentleness that cuts through your nerves like a knife through melted butter in the sun.Â
You start talking more freely after that, exchanging stories that are too mundane to make sense in any real context but feel right here. You tell him about your last trip to the beach, how you got sunburned and spent the whole evening sitting on your balcony, nursing it with iced water and aloe, wishing for a helping hand that you didnât have. He laughs, nodding along as if he can picture it exactly and tells you about how he tried to make pasta he ate in Italy for the first time a few months back and ended up burning the whole batch, because no one was by his side, so badly his kitchen smelled like smoke for days.
The more you talk, the more you notice the little things about him that arenât so polished, arenât so perfect, and make him feel more human and real than anyone you ever met. He has a way of listening, eyes intent on yours, like heâs trying to pick apart every word to understand it better. When he laughs, itâs with his whole face, even body, not the careful, composed look of an idol but a natural, carefree laugh that makes you feel like maybe heâs as relieved as you are to be here, to have someone he doesnât have to impress.Â
At some point, you both lapse into a comfortable silence, each lost in your own thoughts but somehow still connected. The tension from earlier has faded away, replaced by a soothing aura you know you donât want to miss for a day in your life.
Eventually, Jungkook glances over at you, his eyes sucking you in without much resistance. âI kept thinking this would feel forced, you know? Like weâd be sitting here, struggling to find anything in common.â He leans back, drapes his arm around the back of where youâre sitting, glancing up at the ceiling as if searching for the right words. âBut⌠it doesnât feel that way. You feel⌠I donât know, right?â
The slight flutter in your chest has now swelled into a full-blown hurricane, and youâre not sure if itâs that ninety-nine percent compatibility causing it. But you donât let yourself think too muchânot when youâve both been inching closer with each word, not when you take a chance and lean in, resting your head against his side. Especially not when his arm settles directly over your shoulder, pulling you a little closer, his other hand finding yours, fingers intertwining just to see how it feels.
âYeah, it feels right. I really like this.â
As you absently play with his fingers, breathing in his scent for the first time and deciding itâs like heaven, you let yourself trust science. Because this feels like exactly where youâre meant to be.
While the first meeting with Jungkook went better than youâd ever hoped, youâre painfully aware of your overthinking nature. Overthinking in a way that makes it painfully clear there are countless women out there who, on the surface, would seem a better visual match for him than you.
Overthinking to the point where you wonder why Jungkook would even need matchmaking when he could so easily choose a partner on his own. Itâs also why staying focused at work isnât exactly easy today, knowing that soon his label will be sending a car to pick you up for your next meeting with him.
You understand the precautions theyâve taken and completely agree itâs better to meet in a private, safe space rather than making headlines this early on. Thatâs why, as the tinted car arrives, you feel a bit more at ease than you have all day.
Soon enough, youâre driving down the path to the labelâs underground garage, and while you fix your makeup real quick, the car comes to a stop. The driver nods and guides you towards the lift, where the lights are dim and everything has this quiet, professional atmosphere youâve only seen on screen.
You try to take it all in, letting your thoughts settle just a bit more as you follow through to the hallways upstairs, past doors labelled with room numbers and studios, and then finally, youâre outside the door to Jungkookâs studio, right where youâre supposed to meet.
Your heart beats a little faster as you hear Jungkookâs familiar voice call out, âCome in,â and when you open the door, you find him leaning casually against the chair before his equipment with an easy smile that somehow manages to be both happy and slightly flirty.Â
Again, Jungkookâs dressed just like uniquely him, with a few silver rings glinting on his fingers. And while you didnât think heâd even get up to greet you, he steps forward and embraces you in hug so tight, it leaves you drowning in him.Â
âHey,â he greets with that disarming grin, eyes boring into you, taking in your formal work attire, as he gestures to the coffee set up besides his laptop. âHope you donât mind the casual vibe.â
You laugh a little, settling onto the free chair beside him, feeling a bit strange but somehow not. âI think itâs perfect. And to be honest, I donât think Iâd cope well with the whole five-star dining treatment and whatnot.â
He laughs, nodding in agreement, taking your purse from your hands and draping it casually over the back of his chair. The fact that heâs still so attentive, even though heâs clearly in his element here but completely relaxed, is rather fascinating and pulls you in even more.
Like the day before, talking with him comes easy, and while thereâs nothing groundbreaking in your conversations, every word feels meaningful in the bigger picture.
Eventually, you feel yourself relaxing like you were at home by your own, getting comfortable enough to let out the thoughts that have been swimming in your head since last night. âIâve thought a lot about how all of this could play out,â you admit, taking a sip of your coffee, trying to find the right words, though knowing there wonât be any wrong words when talking with Jungkook. âAnd honestly, Iâm not really interested in taking things public if they did work out. I know thatâs probably strange to say, but Iâm not cut out for the spotlight.â
He tilts his head, watching you thoughtfully. âNo, itâs not strange at all. I get it.â
A small smile tugs at your lips as you go on, âI just want something real. A partner whoâs loyal, someone whoâs there because we get each other, not because weâre some public âitâ couple, parading around every chance we get. Does that sound crazy?â
He shakes his head, while he swings from one side to the other. âNot at all. That actually sounds perfect to me.â Thereâs a sincerity in his tone that makes you feel, for the first time, like thereâs some truth to your report. âThe whole âidolâ thing is just a job. Itâs not who I am, not at the core. And having someone who sees it that way, is what I want too.â
It elates you to know that you could have something like this, with him, someone you could genuinely share your life with.
Then, in a thoughtful voice, he asks, âWhat do you want for the future? I mean, outside all of this.âÂ
You take a breath, feeling a little nervous but wanting to be honest. Itâs not like itâs news to him, seeing that this informationâs written in the report he was handed. âI want something traditional. A home, a family, maybe staying home with kids, having that steady, grounded life. It sounds simple, I know, but itâs what Iâve always pictured.â You look up at him, expecting maybe a hint of judgement, but instead, you find him nodding, his eyes lighting up like a candle in the night.
âI donât think that sounds simple at all, but meaningful.â
A shy smile forms on your lips as you add, âSometimes I feel like people donât see that side of things anymore, you know? Like everyoneâs so focused on careers and success and everything else⌠and I get that, I do, but Iâve always just wanted something steady. Something I can hold on to.â
His hand finds yours, his fingers like second nature intertwine with yours, and the gesture is so simple yet so heartwarming that you feel like squealing out of happiness. âThatâs exactly what I want too.â Itâs nothing new to you too, but him saying that, seeing the honesty in his eyes, is better than any data shown to you. âI want that sense of home.â
You feel yourself falling a little harder, a little faster, and maybe that scares you a bit. Youâve seen the kind of attention he gets, the kind of girls that throw themselves at him, and itâs hard not to let those doubts creep in. Especially now. âI know this probably sounds insecure,â you start awkwardly, glancing away, âI think, I donât know, maybe Iâm not the kind of person someone like you would go for. I mean, you could have anyone, and not just because youâre an idol.â
He gives your hand a gentle squeeze, his thumb tracing soothing circles against your skin. And while his mouth opens to say something, the pull against your hand surprises you as much as him settling you in his lab. âHey, donât think like that. Iâm here because I want to be. And trust me, Iâm not looking for âanyoneâ. Iâm looking for someone who gets me. And that someone is you, no?â
The look in his eyes is so genuine, so unguarded, that itâs hard to keep your heart from doing all sorts of stunts. Heâs not the polished idol right now; heâs just Jungkook, being flirty, being compassionate, being so him, sitting in a cosy studio with his tattoos, his piercings, his moles, his beautiful smile, his whole presence more comfortable and inviting than you could have imagined.
And as he sits there, looking at you like youâre the only person in the world, you realise that you definitely donât have to doubt this. Maybe itâs okay to let yourself believe that heâs here because he wants to be, that heâs falling for you irrevocably just as youâre falling for him.Â
âSooo⌠that means?â You know you need to be brave now, because if this isnât a dream, youâd never forgive yourself for not taking the leap.
âThat means, if you want to, Iâd love to have you as my girlfriend.â
âIsnât it a bit rushed?â You donât actually think so, but you still need to be sure.
âIâm all in if you are. I donât want to waste any more time, and even though itâs just a report, I can feel thereâs real truth behind it.â
Fast forward seven months, and you find yourself pressed against the shower wall like you do every night. But this time, itâs differentâjust hours ago, you made your first public appearance on a music show with Jungkook, just because you both felt ready, where he was not only nominated for Best Singer of the Year but won as well.
âKoo, right there, right there.â
It still amazes you how his cock seems to find your g-spot as soon as he enters you, though you wouldnât want it any other way.
âYeah? Right there, hm? Or is itâŚâ he trails off, shifting his hips ever so slightly, making you realise heâs actually hit the centre point of your g-spot now, his hard, unrelenting thrusts pushing you over the edge without warning.
âOh my goooddd,â your eyes roll back, mouth hanging open against the cool shower wall, as your cunt keeps gripping him even though itâs already creaming around his cock.
âGood girl, keep going, love. Show me how many you can take tonight.â
Thereâs nothing you can do, not that youâd want to do anything other than let him rearrange your insides. Especially not when his tattooed hand finds its way from the back of your hair to your jaw, tilting your head to the side, giving you the perfect view of his upper bodyârivulets of water cascading down his chiselled form, lips parted, eyebrows furrowed.Â
Heâs the epitome of perfection. Not just a ninety-nine percent but a hundred.Â
His eyes, though hooded, bore into your soul as his hips pick up the pace. Itâs this connection you share with him make being with him feel so special.
âKooâŚâ
âI know, love, just a bit more. Can you be a good girl?â
âYes,â you moan, because hell, you can. âYes, for youâŚah, winning the trophy.â
Even though you shouldnât feel his cock twitch with the pace heâs set, you do, realising instantly what he needs tonight.
âBest singer, KooâŚfuckâŚbest boyfriend, only fucking me when, hmm, the whole world wants a piece of you.â
âOnly you. Always you, ___, love.â You think you catch him licking a drop of saliva from his lips as he stares down at where your bodies connect, sending another wave of arousal from your stretched-out hole.
âYouâre so big.â
âJust for you, fuck, squeeze a bit more.â
Itâs not that you did it on purpose, but when his hand shoots down to your clit, circling it just right, your body responds as though itâs never felt this good, soaking him even more and gripping him tight as a vice.
âLike that, love, like that.â Jungkook grunts and pants, holding you harder, tighter as his cock seems to swell even more, pumping frantically in sync with your impending second orgasm.
When Jungkook canât hold back any longer, itâs all you need to let go too, the rush flowing through your veins just as fiercely as the love you feel for this man.
After some time, Jungkook pulls out, helping you straighten up and lean against his chest under the stream. His veiny hands trail down your body, washing away his release dripping out of you, as he plants kisses along the side of your face.
When heâs had enough, he, like always, turns you, brushing the wet strands of hair from your face. And as you do the same to him, captivated by how content and in love he looks, you canât help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world when, for the first time, Jungkook declares his feelings.
âI love you, till the day I die, ___.â
âI love you too, and beyond.â
Because this, because having Jungkook calling you his, is beyond probability.
a/n 3: lmk what you think in any way you like! ��� If you liked what you read, pls consider buying me a âď¸ Ko-fi.com/runariya đ
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#fic: beyond probability#bts imagines#bts fanfic#bts army#jungkook x reader#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x you#jungkook imagine#jjk x reader#jungkook#idolverse#Jungkook idolverse#Jungkook smut#bts smut#Jungkook fluff#bts fluff
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Mr. Russell
George Russell x fem!reader
Summary: when youâre digging into secrets of dangerous people, you might get burned orâŚ
Warning: this is pure filth, SMUT, 18+, cursing, spanking, reader being tied up, maybe dark theme?, unprotected sex, mafia!George, no use of Y/N
A/N: I am sick this week and laying bored in my bed made me wrote this. I hope you enjoy it!
My mind couldnât wrap around the fact that I woke up tied to the bed, in the bedroom I have no recollection of getting into, completely naked.
âI see, youâre awake, darling.â
The voice of a man was heard beside me. Laying on my stomach with my head towards the direction of the window it was very hard to turn to that voice, but I tried my best. It was George. George Russell. The mafia boss everybody warned me about. And I didnât listen.
âTsk, tsk. You were a very bad girl. Poking into secrets that you know nothing about. You shouldâve been careful. But.. you were so goddamn curious, werenât you? So, I thought that youâd be happy to experience some of that secrets for yourself.â
My mouth was dry, I swallowed hard as I listened to him. Working as an investigative reporter, it was my job to look through some cases to make my articles interesting. There were some rumours, that Russell had his own sex club, and that alone wasnât so bad, but also drugs were involved along with some torture and violence, leading to deaths of clients and sometimes even of the âemployeesâ.
Reels of my thoughts was interrupted by his hand on my cheek, caressing it lightly, tracing gently along my jaw.
âSpeechless now, huh? You know, I can make you talk.â
âNo, no, Iâm gonna talk, just donât, please.â
My voice sounded desperate and hopeless, exactly what he wanted. Trying to move my hands, the restrains dug more into the delicate flesh of mine, the soft whimper leaving my mouth.
George chuckled, when he got up from the bed, walking around it to stand right behind me. I couldnât see much, but I bet that he liked what he was looking at. Next thing I know was his hands slipping under my stomach, pulling me upwards by my hips.
âAss up, darling. Youâre a sight for sore eyes. This is how you should be - naked, desperate and completely at my mercy. But no, youâd rather dig into shit to get informations for your stupid articles about me.â
âG-George, I-â
âFor you, Iâm Mr. Russell.â
And with that he slapped my ass. Hard.
âFuck⌠Mr. Russell.â Choked whimper escaped my mouth as I was shocked, what just happened.
âThatâs my good girl.â
His hands caressed the flesh of my ass, squeezing it and massaging it. My face was flushed with embarrassment, because, believe it or not, I liked that. A lot.
âYou wanted to say something, darling? I interrupted you.â He spoke so casually, like this whole situation wasnât even happening.
âI wanted to say, that- that I never intended to interrupt your business. I didnât want that informations for articles, it was just my own curiosity.â
âAnd I am supposed to believe you, huh? Because I canât, sweetheart. I saw the drafts you wrote.â
âBut-â
Another slap across my ass. This time I felt the tingling and my toes on my feet curled from it as I bit into my lip to suppress a moan.
âYouâre a fucking liar, darling. And I hate liars.â
I wasnât able to say something else, because he spanked my ass for another five times. Delicate flesh of my behind stung and surely was red, his hands marked deeply into my skin. I was panting, tears burning in my eyes, because it fucking hurt. My body, on the other hand, had its own way to betray me.
âAh, darling, youâre a naughty girl. Look how wet you got just from a little spanking session. Weâre gonna have a lot of fun together. Unfortunately, I think that youâre not gonna get back to your usual job. Maybe I will keep you as my fucktoy from now on.â
I wanted to protest, but he was always a step ahead of me, his fingers now teasing my leaking pussy. That made me shut up instantly. Just as his fingertips traced the way to my sensitive bundle of nerves, I moaned softly and I knew it made him smile.
âMmm⌠I canât wait to claim you. You make me unbelievably hard, baby. Consider yourself special, itâs not happening often, because Iâm not quite impressed by anybody.â
His voice was laced with lust and desire, it was like a music for my ears, getting straight to my core, to clench around nothing, craving him, aching for his cock to fill me.
âPleaseâŚâ
âPlease what, darling? Use your words. Tell me, what you want.â
Embarrassed by my neediness, I buried my head into the pillow, feeling the tension in my shoulders from the way I was tied up to the headboard.
Humming in disapproval, his fingers slid through my soaked folds, poking at the entrance, my back arching from the sensation.
âYou need to say it, baby. Without that, Iâm just gonna tease you to the oblivion. I can do that all night.â
Now I could feel his breath fanning over my aching core, my arms pushing against the restraints.
âI want you to eat my pussy, George, fuck, please. Please!â
I let out a loud plea, begging him to taste my arousal, to relieve the tension in my lower belly.
He just tsked at my desperate attempt, his fingers smearing my wetness across my ass cheek.
âYou forgot about something. I thought I made that clear earlier.â
My mind was hazy from the desire and arousal but then I remembered.
âPlease, make me cum with your mouth, Mr. Russell.â
âI knew youâre a good girl, darling.â
With that words, I felt his hot lips on my wet pussy, lapping on my bundle of nerves, while sliding his fingers inside me, stretching me out. Loud moans of mine filled the room, it was like ecstasy, my legs trembling from how good he was. I tried to move my hips a little, to get more from him but his strong arm kept me in place, just like he wanted. At first he made slow circles around my swollen nub, his fingers deep inside me, poking at my sweet spot, but then he picked up the pace with his fingers, while he was practically latched on my clit. That was too much, overwhelming feeling and I was a moaning mess, gasping for air, closer and closer to my climax.
Suddenly he stopped, getting away from me and I shifted in disapproval that he didnât make me cum.
âW-why-â
âShhh. Donât worry. Youâll get to cum. But I want to feel that around my cock.â
I heard him undoing his pants, freeing his rocking hard length and as far as I could see, he smeared his cock with my juices he still had on his fingers from a while ago. It made him go feral, nearly cumming instantly of how erotic that was.
âPlease, Mr. Russell. Fuck me. Fuck me like a whore.â
I didnât care about my reputation or my image after this. I needed him, his cock seemed perfect to fill me up good and it was all that mattered now. My pussy was so worked up, dripping with arousal that I would do anything to have him.
âYouâre my whore. Remember that.â
He said almost breathlessly, teasing me with his cock as he neared with it to my entrance. With one slow motion he pushed into me, stretching me to the limits, while I was nearly screaming from the overwhelming pleasure. I heard his huff along with chuckle, he was really satisfied with his making, giving my ass one slap before he started moving his hips against mine.
My brain went blank, my sight blinded as I let out a choked moans, saying his name in raspy voice, my throat dry from all that.
âYou love this cock, right? Nobody can ever make you feel like this. Nobody can ever make this pussy so wet like me.â
His words made my mind spinning, I was so cockdrunk that I was drooling into the pillow. Each of his hard thrust was like a heaven for my sweet spot inside me, getting me closer and closer to release.
âOh- my-â
âYouâre gonna cum, arenât you? Huh? You think you deserve it?â
I nodded yes, desperately.
âHm. Cum for me, darling.â
With another stretching thrust I felt my pussy tightening around him, slipping over the edge of my arousal, giving me the most toe curling orgasm I ever experienced. My body was writhing underneath him, his hand slapping my ass again to heighten my pleasure even more.
As I was coming down from my high, I also felt him twitching inside me, his pace picking up, riding to his high.
âThatâs it, baby girl, Iâm gonna fill you up, youâre gonna be dripping. I- ah- fuck!â
George couldnât even finish the sentence, how he was caught off guard when my pussy squeezed him once more, ending with him painting my inner walls with his precious seed. He nearly collapsed onto me, how much he was done, breathing heavily like if he just ran a marathon.
After a while I decided to speak up. âG-George⌠my arms.. it hurts.â
George got out of the trance as he carefully slid out of me, kneeling beside me to untie the restraints on my hands that surely will leave marks. Then he laid down on the bed, pulling me closer to him, making me whimper a little, feeling my body sore and stiff.
âWas it the way you imagined it?â George placed a soft kiss in my hair, caressing my back lovingly.
âMhm⌠much better than that, actually.â I hummed with smile.
âI enjoyed it too. We should do this role play thing more often. I felt powerful as a dangerous mafia boss.â He chuckled as he spoke.
âMy dangerous Mr. Russell. You know how hard it is to say that when youâre begging for something?â
âYou didnât think that I would go easy on you, did you?â
He captured my lips in tender kiss, giving me all comfort and love I needed after that rough session.
âââ
Please donât use my writings without permission! Pictures not mine, theyâre from Pinterest.
#f1 fanfic#george russel imagine#george russell#george russell x reader#george russell x female reader#formula one#f1 x female reader#f1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#formula 1#george russell x you#george russell smut#george russell 63#gr63 x you#gr63 x reader#gr63
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So every year my company has a huge conference where we all come together and go to different presentations and stuff. Thatâs the boring part. The FUN part is getting to talk to everyone and drink and party and listen to the higher ups talk about their experiences which always ends up being super inspirational.
Long story short they had a discussion about like. Taking chances and getting involved in things you want to be involved in even if it means changing positions in the company. And yâall know how much I fucking HATE my current job lol and while I have been searching for work outside of this company I havenât had much luck (very competitive field + not a lot of open jobs that suit my experience + half the jobs in my field getting taken over by AI, etc etc). But!! While itâs not EXACTLY what I want to do with my life there is a position in this company that definitely has a more creative and artistic side. And thatâs marketing. And thereâs one (1) guy handling marketing for our entire company and he offhandedly mentioned to me a few weeks back about how heâs looking for helpâand he went straight to me in particular bc he knows I have a background in art and design and stuff like that.
So being ⨠inspired ⨠by the conference I stepped wayyyy outside my comfort zone and worked up the nerve to tell him hey Iâm interested in what you do and I know you mentioned you might need help and Iâd frankly love to help. And he was SUPER excited lol I mean weâve been friends for a while and heâs literally the friendliest and most extroverted person Iâve ever met. Things are already moving so quickly lmao heâs talked to my boss and his boss about getting me into marketing so Iâll be able to do things like. Photography! And video editing! And web design! And swag design! And lots of creative things!! And Iâm very excited!! Bc Iâve felt so fucking stifled at my current job bc itâs just. Very opposite of a creative type job and while I do appreciate my teammates I just. Donât want to be there anymore.
So I saw the opportunity and I was like. Clearly looking for other jobs is not working rn so you know, maybe marketing isnât something I want to do forever, but itâll at least give me more experience in my field if I do end up finding a job elsewhere. You know? And if I do this I wonât be absolutely miserable every single day doing something I donât care about and donât love doing. So.
Anyway long story short I might be getting a new position soon and Iâm VERY excited and jazzed and grateful to finally get to have a job that Iâll actually enjoy doing. And I wanted to share. :))))
#AND I can negotiate a better salary bc theyâre paying me like shit right now lmao#Iâm excited. Iâm very excited#And I could tell that our marketing guy was super hyped when I mentioned wanting to help I think heâs been wanting to steal me for a while#đđđ#My mom was very proud of me for speaking up too#Itâs very hard for me to do things like this. Iâm super introverted and talking to people is difficult#Let alone being like hey. I want to work for you. Putting myself out there is NOT easy#And my boss was proud of me too#AAAA. AAGFHDHFH. IâM SO#Iâm very jittery đ#But very happy. Eeee!!#Shima speaks#Finally getting to do fun stuff that I like doing. You know?#Long post
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hey, im a young nz artist too and i like making comics/want to do something bigger when im older, and i think your stuff is genuinely so fucking cool. i love it so much. i was wondering how you pursued art after highschool, like did you go to art school? if so, where and what was that like, and if not, howâd you find the time to continue doing it? its always felt like my opportunities for a career in art specifically seem smaller living in nz, but idk your stuff inspires me to think otherwise. thank you :)
kia ora!!
thanks so much for asking, it's truly so flattering that a young nz artist would ask me for advice! <3 sadly i might not necessarily be the best person to ask...
First of all, it's been a loooooong time since i've been a young artist hahaha I'm 32. After high school, I studied architecture at university because, as you're probably aware, we don't really have art schools like our peers do overseas. But after studying for a few years, I had a major depressive episode and dropped out. After that, I ran away to Korea to teach english for a year before coming back to work in cafes for about 6 years. Back then I was pursuing a career in editorial illustration cause that's what all my favourite artists were doing but I didn't realise that it was a dying industry at the time and there weren't exactly lot of full-time professional artists here who could have warned me...
So after about 10 years of trying to piece together some kind of profession in illustration, I ended up looking for a tattoo apprenticeship which was looking pretty promising but my bosses turned out to be not-so-great people. I tried to keep tattooing on my own but that was around the time COVID hit which wasn't (and still isn't) great for a job that requires you meet face-to-face with a lot of people. So, since the pandemic began, I've just been subsisting off of jobseeker, chipping away at comics and the occasional illustration gig.
The whole experience had me perpetually burnt out for the past ~15 years and made me realise that art as a career really just shouldn't be a thing. Under capitalism, it requires either an embarrassing level of compromise, privilege or luck to pursue. All the household-name artists you know in NZ either come from privilege or got unbelievably lucky. I don't say this as a value judgment or anything, most of them are truly wonderful people, it's just what I've learned about them as colleagues who've worked together a few times over the years.
I don't fault anyone for wanting to pursue that, but if you want to make uncompromising art that makes you feel fulfilled, you can't stake your livelihood on it. Art is supposed to be a by-product of life well lived, not content to be sold.
It's why I'm making plans to go back to uni next year to switch careers into a cushy office job because, as you've observed, even if you still want to pursue this as a full-time career, opportunities for artists in Aotearoa is extremely limited.
Having said all that, there's still a lot of nuance to this whole thing that would take me too long to cover in a tumblr post, so if you'd like me to elaborate or anything or have more questions, you're more than welcome to contact me through my email: [email protected]!
And this offer extends to literally anyone who might be looking for advice or just wants to talk about art <3
Final thing: the thought of studying something else at college/ university and keeping your art as a hobby might sound bleak when you're young, but life is so much longer than you think. You might feel like you have limitless creativity and ideas at the moment but when it becomes your entire life, you burn through it all faster than you'd think. It's because you need fuel to inform what you make and you can't get that from just making art. Like I always say, art is a by-product of a life well lived; You need life-experiences; You need to love, hate, care, be hated and loved to make art and you can't do that if you're too busy to do any of that. Those 3 years you spend on a bachelors is nothing in comparison to a lifetime of staring at a blank page, agonizing over what to make next.
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it's almost 1am here's my essay about Dal and captainhood <333
I hath promised a Dal essay and I hath deliveredâŚÂ
I've had this in the drafts for so long, but I just rewatched season two and it really allowed me to solidify a lot of my thoughts.
One of things that really strikes me about Dal's character and his relationship to command is that being in charge is a place of safety for him. He's had to be self-reliant and self-sufficient pretty much his whole life until the Protostar. It's something that was engraved into him since he was small, that the only person Dal could really depend on was himself.
And because he was never around anyone who actually cared about him until the Protostar, that was the right thing to do. This need to be in charge, to be in control really, is a learned survival skill. "I can tell you from experience, people in authority lie."
But in season two, his circumstances have changed (for the better!), and that's not the right thing to do anymore. Ultimately, to me, Dal's season two character arc is about vulnerability and trust. He's been in survival mode for so, so long, and now we watch him learn to heal.
You start with this boy who's spent the grand majority of his life alone or with people who are exploiting him, and the story takes him by the hand and tells him "now that you're safe, now that you have people who care about you, you can't live like that anymore."
All throughout season one he learns trust. Trust in his crew, in Hologram Janeway, in the Federation and in Starfleet as institutions that can and will help him and his newfound family. But as a captain,when he was guiding his crew through active crisis after crisis, trust looked like open doors. It looked like laying out all the variables and problems on a table so they could figure a way out together.Â
Trust looks very different on the Voyager-A. It asks him to have faith in what he's not seeing, what he's not being told. He has to believe that they have his best interests at heart, that he's not trusting his family to something that will try to hurt them.Â
Captainhood isn't just bossing people around for Dal. It's the responsibility of holding the lives of the people he loves in his hands. He trusts his own hands. He has the best interest of his crew at heart.Â
To ask Dal to relinquish control, is to ask him to place the lives of himself and his family into someone else's hands. Which, historically, has not gone great for them. It prods directly at his trauma, asks him to take undo and ignore the survival instincts that kept them alive for so long. Is it any wonder he has trouble with that?
Dal's not going around crawling through Jeffries Tubes because he's a brat or because he thinks he's entitled to know everything. He's a traumatized kid whose self-sufficiency, independence, and ability to make his own decisions were once, for a very long time, the literal line between life and death for him and his crew.
And even if he trusts Starfleet and Janeway in his head on a logical level (which I absolutely believe he does), there's still this instinct that's written into him. It's a process to learn how and when to turn that off, and that's what we see especially throughout the first half of season two.Â
This really culminates in the cafeteria scene after they return with the Protostar and Chakotay, when Dal advocates for the Starfleet temporal management guys to figure out a way to get the Protostar back to Tars Lamora. Dal was able to see that his hands weren't the best ones for the job, and trust Gwyn's life to someone else. That's huge for him. He trusts not just a person, but a branch of an institution he's never interacted with before, with one of the people that mean the very most to him. And Dal's able to give up that control, to place himself and his crew in that position of potential vulnerability, because he's finally started to feel it in his bones that he's safe here.
#star trek#star trek prodigy#dal r'el#protostar crew#is that a tag? idk they need a little name though so imma call them that#lou says things#lou writes things#you guys im a writing student and i had to physically restrain myself from looking up quotes and sources like my profs gonna grade me or sm#like i am so in acedemic mode rn#lou its a tumblr post its not that serious X'D#but also it's a little bit that serious cause dal i love you im on your side forever#also! if you have thoughts please please please reblog comment put it in the tags leave it in my ask box#even and especially if they're different from mine tell me your dal takes and i'll love you forever <33
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I have 5 different fic ideas writing down in my phone memo. They all came to me in the space of a week.
I think I'm cursed with ideas and no time to explore them.
#inspiration is amazing#and everybody knows those two idiots in love inspire me a lot#but I have no fucking time for all of this#I wish I could write about them more#I wish I could draw them too#I started a kind of comic book drawing with them#I'd like to draw something for every fic I wrote#like bits of dialogue or just one drawing to set the tone of the fic#we should just be allowed to take a day off when inspiration is there#or just say to your boss#inspiration is there I have to go bye and just take off#but right now I think I need at least a whole week#where like I see nobody and just expresses myself through art#I don't know#they make me sick#with inspiration I guess#and when you're sick#well you just have to stay home you know#so I should be able to#destiel#deancas#castiel#dean winchester#writing fanfiction#I wish I had more time to do that actually#my personal experience with destiel#my destiel fanfic
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crashes ur board meeting n drags u out by the collar but its fine bc youre the one always saying shit like "im looking for people i can use" ok lol. get used idiot
#just tracing like. the sequence of events that had to take place in order for this to come to pass#1. natori and his shiki are skulking around homura stalking ban. possibly it's just his shiki and natori is elsewhere.#either way 2. natsume shows up and natori learns about it either bc he witnesses it or a shiki comes to tell him#3. natori gets in his little richard scarry apple car (this is my mental image for some reason) & fucking. BOOKS IT to the matoba compound#4. goes inside. presumably matoba lackeys try to stop him bc their boss is in an important meeting but somehow he gets past them#(possibilities here are v fun to think about. maybe natori does this all the time and they're used to it. maybe he's never done it before#but they're all on orders to let natori in if he ever shows up. maybe natori convinces them he's supposed to be IN the meeting#which is great because it sounds like some important clan thing so what is he in the clan now??)#5. interrupts matoba's meeting like 'i need you' and matoba's like 'bye everyone whatever this is is more important'#6. they get in natori's comical apple car (again the apple car is not canon don't worry about it)#& natori drives like a bat out of hell back to homura. (SOURCE: matoba is so scarred he refuses natori's offer for a ride later)#i wonder what they talk about on the way there? because they don't talk about why natori is stalking ban until much later#so they must be busy talking about something else. but what??#that or they're both too distracted by all the near-death experiences from natori's crazed driving lol#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#homura cats arc#horrible exorcists#my posts#sidenote i feel like that page at the end where both matoba and sensei refuse natori's offers of a ride is really funny because#sensei's reason is that it will take too long. but sensei did you know natori drives like a speed demon? think it thru...#also like. how long did it take him to decide to involve matoba? was that his backup plan all along?#also it's pretty lucky that he found matoba at all considering he could be anywhere...the matoba have like 15 houses...#he has matoba's schedule memorized lol#natori sparkling to the assorted clan members in the meeting: sorry ladies and gentlemen i just need to borrow this~#*throws matoba over his shoulder and fireman-carries him to the parking lot*
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i could talk all day about mori's treatment of dazai and the way he abused his power over him but i'd rather talk about the ways in which he is still doing it, despite dazai having left the mafia. as we know, dazai left the mafia under oda's instruction, a promise he made to his dying friend in which he said he would become a good person, and be on the side that saves people. oda said, the sides make no difference to you, so he knows for a fact that dazai has no reason to do these things, when good and evil are mere concepts for him and not something he feels drawn to either way. a take i've seen often and one that i quite like is not only did mori have oda killed for the mafia's own personal gain (the deal struck so that they could operate under legal means), but it falls back on mori grooming dazai to one day take his seat. up until this point, dazai has never had anything worth protecting, has never lost anything, has never grieved anything and never experienced the emotional call to despair.
odasaku's death and thus dazai's push into the light, which ends up being with the ada, is the final piece that mori needed to solidify that dazai would one day be able to take his place. they talk about it, dazai says you were afraid of me, weren't you? and in more ways than one, the statement is true. mori had always known that he would and always wanted for dazai to surpass him, but the husk that dazai had become by never wanting anything, never protecting anything scared him if dazai was to dispose of him and assume his seat, because although dazai is a genius, he was callous and didn't value anything. he wouldn't value the mafia like mori does, he wouldn't protect yokohama like mori does. during the guild arc, mori says if dazai was still my right-hand man, the guild would stand no chance. dazai inside of the mafia and outside of it exists as a powerful adversary to whomever he stands against, and i think this is one of many reasons why the ada and the port mafia exist somewhat in tandem. the port mafia and the ada overstep their boundaries from time to time with each other, but the truth lies in mori knowing that dazai could ruin them if he intended to.
in something of a tldr mori aims to push dazai out of the mafia just as much as he intends to keep him within it. he needs dazai to experience loss, needs him to experience what it feels like to protect something, what it feels like to want to protect something. the fact that after dazai left, mori has not replaced his seat as an executive. has not replaced dazai as his right-hand with someone else, continuously offers him his position back means he fully intends to have him back under his wing again, someday. means he fully expects, once dazai has experienced what he needs him to, that he will take over his position, and he will drive dazai back to him. yosano and dazai serve as two prizes that mori currently does not have on his mantle, and in the deal struck with the president of the agency, those are the two he is most likely to pluck out of their ranks to put right back into his own.
#abuse /#like we don't need to talk about how yes - dazai explains he exposed HIMSELF to violence and death and gore in order to feel#but who was the first person to expose him to these things? who was the person that implicated him in a murder labelled a death by illness?#âyou will be my witnessâ - that night mori signed dazai's name on a contract dazai had no clue he had even drawn#mori made a fifteen year old boy the head of the port mafia's guerrilla squad ...#dazai was a child that needed guidance and he got the WRONG kind .. and im actually tired of people calling mori and dazai father/son#in a serious sense ... or in a GOOD sense. in a lot of ways you can pin that kind of DYNAMIC and not RELATIONSHIP on them#in the way a father raises his children to one day take over his own legacy. in the way a father moulds his children in his own image#in the way a father takes away the things his child loves most to punish him. to teach him a lesson.#mori wanted dazai to experience loss and grief and wanted to push him out of the mafia so that he would come back stronger#there are so many instances in which mori could have had dazai killed after he left and joined the ada and he didnt#dazai is an OPPONENT ... he is IN THE WAY if he isn't with the port mafia and so it serves that mori has and#HAS ALWAYS HAD more planned for him than this.#also like haha WEEIIRRRDDD that mori is allowed to take one member of the ada and he sends chuuya to mersault to .. some would say#to collect dazai. take it as a favour owed. your boss said i could have you AND the port mafia just saved your life.#and if not you - WHO? (if people survive this post arc) like WHO ELSE? is fit for the mafia?#dazai is self sacrificing. and it serves the GOOD side of him to go back. so that someone else doesn't have to suffer it.#anyway ramble over sorry everyone :p
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playing salmon run and realizing that most times when i'm not putting in a lot of eggs its because i'm spending so much time clearing lessers and reviving since no one else will/can
#like it makes me feel bad that i'm not contributing to the egg count but we'd lose the rounds sooner anyways coz everyone keeps dying#and i'm wondering if thats like a common thing people experience in freelance oor does my matching just suck or something lol#and like compared to the few times i've hopped into matches on a server its a bit more balanced#but i'm still spending a lot of time getting mowing non bosses inking turf so we can move or rezzing teamates#s'weird...#splatoon#salmon run#monotalks#putting in the tags coz i want feedback/opinion from other sr players#and like i kinda wish we could have sr shifts recorded in the same way pvp matches are to give proper examples but :/
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Iâm so excited Iâm like literally shaking
#so I work at like seasonal job multiple stores and shit some more far out and in the boonies than others#and like before I was at my current job I managed this shitshow camp store#literally was so horrible but only bcs my boss sucked and pushed all his responsibilities to me while I still had to do MY JOB#like darkest time of my life trying to keep that store from falling apart until eventually I was like fuck this#transferee to a different property in a different state and like stalked this lady who would come help us and she hired me as her assistant#like truly amazing I love her so much my boss is the fucking best#but now at my property we have a camp store with no manager being run to the ground#so they asked me to go manage itâŚ#and lLIKEEEE ITS IN THE HIGH CIUNTRY#SOOO NO SERVICE LIVING IN A TENT SHARED SHOWER DORMS#IM SO EXCITEDDD#and also Iâll be at 9k feet elevation SO ILL SEE STARSS!#im at 5thoussnd feet rn and itâs just not the same#my shitty store was at 7 thousand but the year before I lived at 8 thousand feet and the stars are so magical#but everyone else I work with feels bad I âhave toâ go up there and run the store for a few weeks#Iâm like literally MY PLEASURE#working in a camp store is literally summer camp vibes#and Iâm such a retail girl boss they didnât even brief me they were like you know how to open and close a store#AND I DONT HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF INVOICESSS#that was my nightmare at the last place like they taught all the managers how to recieve and pay invoices but no one else really understood#sooo like a day before months end when invocies HAVE to be paid Iâd get stacks from every store on property#and like just my store was already a lot to go through bcs we did groceries and gas and beer and retail merch#but lol I came to my current place and they have a whole office just for that lotta sweet ladyâs in accounting Iâm like damn??#they did me so dirty????#best part about being a warehouse girl with previous retail management experience is thissss#pray for me though I havenât managed other humans in 2 years and theyâre union employees so I just have to follow all the rules#love the union but Iâm scared of breaking any labor laws since Iâve never managed humans in the state in living in#last state was horrible there was no lunch break laws
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I know the working conditions were kinda shitty and my colleagues and bosses didn't appreciate me enough but damn I miss the bar already đ
#maybe it's my anxiety and the drama queen in me acting up more than necessary and they have other problems rn but#i already vented a lot to my family in the last 3 days but at some point i might just make something up so i can go back as a guest for gig#like idk lying about them inviting me to come back because they wanna see me and miss me or smth idkkk#sure there are other venues but this is like a second home at this point đđ plus cheap and close up concerts with iconic bands#even if they don't get paid well or even at all but i can make up for that by buying their merch and inviting them for drinks#arenas are lame i can't meet the musicians and make out with them as easily đ#i'm posting a poem about the bar later đ started it before i even thought about leaving but now it stings and feels nostalgic#hell i cried writing the goodbye message and seeing the lacking replies except for two colleagues' nice texts and my bosses' dry ones#i'm never working somewhere i loved as a customer again i swear it only ruins the experience if you know the behind the scenes#mel talks
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I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 𧸠like its just Peak evil imo.
#luly talks#i do relinquish in the pain and the agony but dont get me wrong the thought of any of them 3 getting jailed makes me SO sad#rog esp since he's the one im writing about and the biggest nerve wreck#gingi voice they'll be the last one to pick the board game for prison-game-night..........#actually yknow i wonder if rog would end up almost believing it after all when you try to gaslight him for the shits and giggles#(as in: telling HE was victim of the bite of 87 and the like) he tells you to not do that bc his brain is already scrambled or something#so there's a chance perhaps he'd believe it if he had everyone constantly accussing him of it?#not like it'd matter much i have no hopes for the dsaf justice system i know its been 35 years since jack got framed but still#i just remembered when the option popped up i said ''god im really becoming steven đ''#first time i made the joke too was when i said ''imagine your boss sucks so bad you turn suicidal'' no clue what the context was#OH YEAH JAKE SAYING HE'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN KEEP WORKING HERE yeah. poor guy.#anyway im derailing my own post again uhhh. yeah. yeah i dont trust any phoney is avoiding the death sentence#dsaf#roger jones#dsaf roger#btw just for the sake of yapping longer i truly cant decide whether harry or jake would survive better in the enviroment#probably jake to be honest. I mean Harry has a lot of experience inside freddy's but he didnt really live outside it muhc#jake is so confrontational though#hey did you guys watch the hit movie felon? sure that guy wasn't framed but. i feel like jake would end up w that attitude#except for. you know. everything else that happens in the hit movie felon.#hey actually forget about this game go watch the 10/10 movie Felon from 2008 starring Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff#because its one of my all time fave movies and probably the saddest i've seen#not bc there arent movies that are more tragic but bc no movie was able to break thru my walls of idgaf and make me cry anyway#yeah you thought i couldnt bring up my movie fixations on my different fandom posts well you were WRONG in fact#im gonna go tag my other post i left untagged yesterday bc my ass was Cooking
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I'm getting a bit better at tackling things right away but I am not there yettttt
#still writing professional emails at 1AM when I have to be at work at 7 tomorrow....#I have a lot of experience but it was just my boss and I like I was the only person on her team đ what do you mean two references#and I can't put my retail manager as a ref for an academic job... so I have to ask someone else but I feel sooo bad about it#he agreed but I don't like having to send the job offer and a little 'heads up someone might write to you' every time I get an interview đ
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kh4 rambling below the cut
im hoping they include multiple character campaigns for KH4. not just because i wanna see characters be playable that we havent seen in a while, or at all. but also because i feel like a whole game centered on sora in quadratum would get really difficult to tell a story in. not because interesting things couldn't happen. but the series has always had everyone venturing to other worlds to help progress the plot.
having sora, as limber and mobile as he was in that kh4 trailer, be secluded to a city, feels like he'd outpace the world itself and you'd end up traversing the same maps for tens of hours of game time. im sure there's gonna be plenty of narrative to push that world around, but i just dont wanna be in that single world the entire game.
it's part of why i wasn't the biggest fan of chain of memories. i didnt hate the story, and i didnt dislike castle oblivion. but KH excels at having the characters just be all over the universe in their journey. COM sorta shirks the responsibility of telling its story in one world by having illusions of the other worlds. but the most important parts are still only in castle oblivion. and after an hour or so of those cutscenes, it really starts to dawn on me how much ive grown used to the white walls of the castle.
perhaps that was the point? it's been a handful of years since those days, so i couldnt say anymore. ive grown up a lot since then, thematic choices will appear different to me from when i was a kid.
i digress, it'd also be a shame to bring back the whole main cast properly in kh3, free of their shackles or imprisonments, and then have them scarcely appear in the next mainline game. the hints that kairi will be training with ventus, terra, and aqua are already there, which gives me hope. donald and goofy are out looking for sora on their own, while mickey is on his way to the old scala ad caelum. it definitely FEELS like everyone is gonna be present.
im simply praying.
#kh4 spoilers#kingdom hearts#stormy weather#im also just looking into combat design myself for future games#i wanna try and design things or at least give a premise#i know a handful of friends who have experience in video game departments#but they're often dry on ideas because of how workaholic the nature of the job can be#combat systems can be rought to make enjoyable without outside perspective#what you might find fun can be utterly awful for others#like some KH2 mods that may seriously improve the game's combat#but also make it a lot more tedious to pull off things that other mainline games would otherwise just hand over to you#it's like devil may cry in a way#there's the balance between base entry gameplay and a high skill ceiling#i feel like kh should have that style of combat#something you can mash x through if you wanted to#but challenging once you put it on critical mode to get the player to adapt more#kh2 did this really well in my eyes#shying from revenge values on bosses like roxas ofc#roxas and his ground revenge attack where he just chainsaws you and you die.#good times.
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love when u play a game and see some recurring themes in the negative reviews, then u actually play it yourself and know that people just aren't used to that kind of game or had preconceptions that just weren't correct.
#I'm playing a metroidvania that i think was tagged as souls-like too. and i see how both classifications tie into it.#and being someone who thoroughly enjoys and is used to both genres - and is coming from a ds3 replay#i picked up the parry timing IMMEDIATELY and think it's super fun.#i feel like the reviews r ppl who r used to metroidvanias wanting more healing items laying around and ppl who r used to souls games#not being used to having the platforming/traversal aspects incorporated into combat. but I'm sorta seeing#aspects from both games that I'd expect (or even want!) and idk it's just a lot of fun so far :3#i got rly sucked into playing Grime on my lunch and it's very fresh on my mind (â ・â ďžâ Ďâ ďźźâ ・â ) I'm excited to play more later#regarding the lack of healing abilities or loot though like they literally DO give u healing right off the bat u just gotta learn the#parry mechanic! if u time it right u can absorb an enemy (or part of it if it's a boss) and once this meter is filled u can regen health.#so it kinda encourages u to go fight and absorb things instead of just outright killing everything w melee/projectiles#there r ppl who claim to be fans of the genres too but yeah i just do not feel the same sry to y'all.#i think part of it too is this greater issue with art whereâ in my observationâ people don't rly like going into things w no#expectations or preconceptions. also calling things bad for not being perfect even though they never tried to be there's just a#specific story they wanted to tell or experience they wanted to share and did that well.#the latter really bugs me (â ´â -â ďšâ -â `â ďźâ ) and falls under the âu can say u didn't like it without it being Badâ umbrella. like it's fine to#just Not Like Something while still acknowledging it does what it set out to do.
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#rewatching ep5 make out scene for the eleventythousandth time#y'know...just...#casually losing my mind over how compatible their kissing styles are#either they practiced a lot during the workshop#or they just did that pretty much instantly#I am overwhelmed thinking about either of those options#normal thoughts on a friday night#personal#Love In The Air#LITA#PhayuRain#Noeul Nuttarat#Boss Chaikamon#like... if they told the truth about improvising this that means it wasn't choreographed...#... and still there was not one awkward moment despite how long the scene is#and I don't think there's any cuts#they were perfectly in tune with each other#I know from experience that it can take a little while to adapt to kissing a new partner so.....#I'm just...having lots of feelings about Boss and Noeul#completely non-delulu for once#I just think it's wild
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