#i like ernest lol

[ostriches-because-i-said-so]

Wade Watts, from the book Ready Player One by Ernest Cline and also the movie based on the book, is a super nerd. And to prove it I'll make the bold claim that his knowledge on James Halliday is almost or maybe even equal to MatPat's knowledge of FNAF. Just throwing it out there.

[lolotheparagon]

It seems like everyone and their mum hates Katrielle Layton for being a completely different character and personality to her dad. I’m like okay she’s a hypercompetent detective who thinks a case about a talking dog isn’t interesting, is very scatterbrained, loves fashion and food and is a diva…

I fucking love her

[aboutmercy]

diabetic children of gaza i am always thinking of you. ya allah make it easy for them.

[characteroulette]

My fave genre of character is "looks normal, but very much isn't" huh.

[charmfamily]

(SEMI) CHARMED KIND OF LIFE: EPISODE 1, PART IV. “AT LEAST IT’S NOT STILL ON FIRE”

Transcript Below.

[A moment passes in uncomfortable silence, spent waiting for Damien to say something... anything.] EMILIA: You have until next summer to quit. I do work at a health center, so I shouldn't have to explain to you why that's not really an acceptable look.

[nozomijoestar]

Started new semester today and pissed Abt being disrespected twice by the professor but idk if I'd be able to swap at this point man 😑 (plus the material is already kindergarten shit already so I'm bored too but I kept that to myself prof was rude for other reasons)

: im challenging this and requesting to swap actually bc no you're not gonna get into the habit of disrespecting me for no reason and over pettiness at that with unearned arrogance to boot

[lokis-wager]

I was way more excited for Oppenheimer than Killers of the Flower Moon, but like, KotFM was WAAAAAAY more interesting than Oppenheimer. I never would have thought that a movie almost 4 hours long would just fly by, but it did.

Probably not a movie that everyone will enjoy, but I really deeply felt all of the emotions that they were trying to convey. It also made me really understand why Scorsese called Marvel movies 'not real cinema', because fuck, dude. I can't believe that something like KotFM and something like The Marvels are both called movies. If I were him I'd be fucking pissed as hell too.

[vampyastro]

𝕬𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖔 𝕺𝖇𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘 𝖕𝖙 𝟛

✐ ✧Common birth chart placements of famous writers✧ ✐

Hey everyone! I am someone who loves reading and writing so I decided to look into some of my favorite authors birth charts and find common placements amongst them that could indicate being a good writer. Of course there are other placements in a birth chart that can indicate this (I researched a lot of writers charts and of course not all of them have these placements), I just thought it was interesting to see these the common placements amongst prominent writers. If there are any writers you know of that have these placements feel free to let me know!

✐ I’ve noticed a lot of famous male writers have Gemini moons, meanwhile famous female writers have Libra moons.

✐ Gemini Moons: Fyodor Dostoevsky, Franz Kafka, Charles Baudelaire, J.D. Salinger, T.S Eliot

✐ Libra Moons: Sylvia Plath, Maya Angelou, Jane Austen, Emily Dickinson, Agatha Christie, Louise Gluck

✐ Mercury is also another indicator of whether someone is a good writer. Mercury is the planet of communication, thinking patterns, mentality, reasoning/rational, etc. The authors Mercury sign can sometimes reflect the topics they write about. For instance, Oscar Wilde is a Scorpio Mercury and he wrote a lot about death, transformation, mystery and the fall from grace.

✐ Scorpio Mercury: Oscar Wilde, Sylvia Plath, Arthur Miller, Mark Twain

✐ Sagittarius Mercury: Albert Camus, Louisa May Alcott, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Charles Baudelaire, Christina Rossetti, Jane Austen, Emily Dickinson, Louise Gluck

✐ Writers usually tend to have prominent 10th house placements. Many planets in the 10th house can represent authority, being career oriented and success. Most often I’ve seen Saturn be in many of these writers houses, which makes sense because many of these individuals had tough lives and preserved through many challenges in order to gain the success they had. Some died without even knowing how successful they were or the legacy they left on the world. Specifically Franz Kafka, he had Mars, Saturn, Neptune and Chiron in the 10th house. Kafka died thinking he was a failure, his writings didn’t reach their peak popularity until many years after his death.

✐ Other writers with prominent 10th house placements include:

Christina Rossetti (Moon, Saturn), Emily Dickinson (Saturn, North Node), Agatha Christie (Venus), Arthur Miller (Mars, Saturn, Neptune), Mary Shelley (Pluto), Oscar Wilde (Saturn), Ernest Hemingway (Neptune, Pluto), Shakespeare (Mercury, Pluto)

✐ Overall in my findings, I noticed that many writers I researched have multiple Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Gemini and Sagittarius placements in their charts.

-Side note, he’s not necessarily a writer, although he did write books; Sigmund Freud is a Gemini moon and Scorpio rising. I think that is very interesting lol.

𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰! *:･ﾟ✧

𝓗𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓱𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂𝓼 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓸𝓷𝓮! ♡

P.s Let me know if you’re interested in more posts like this. I can do famous musicians, artists, psychologists, etc :) Also, thank you for all the support on my last two posts! 🫶🏻

[sleepynoons]

diluc x gn!reader, sfw

cw: n/a

notes: cross-posted from my ao3. diluc is the og husband, and i need to be married to him methinks. also i love domestic bliss fics, so i here's my attempt at it from a few years ago lol reader has ear piercings + hair, should be no other descriptors otherwise

WHEN YOU imagined married life with diluc, you thought of sleepy morning kisses, late-night conversations with glasses full of grape cider, and trips to foreign nations. in reality, you got a king-sized bed all to yourself and your spouse’s growing pile of wrinkled button-ups in the laundry hamper.

you feel conflicted. on one hand, you aren’t surprised, having married mondstadt’s chief wine tycoon and renowned darknight hero. one of your vows to diluc is to be patient with him, to understand that having a “normal” relationship would be difficult. on the other, is it wrong for you to miss diluc? you never want to be a burden, but you do want diluc to make time for your relationship.

so you decide to communicate your concerns to him. the only glaring problem is finding time to do so in diluc’s overwhelming schedule.

“good morning! would you like to eat breakfast in bed or downstairs?”

looking up from a pile of forms and customer complaints, you smile as adelinde stands outside of your office doorway.

“downstairs will be fine, thank you,” and before the maid can leave, you slip in a whisper, “and, um, adelinde. do you perhaps know master diluc’s schedule for the day?”

the housemaid ponders for a second before a teasing smile graces her lips. “trouble in paradise?” you can only purse your lips and fidget like a child under her gaze. “i believe angel’s share is closing early today. maybe you can catch him there!”

heeding adelinde’s suggestion, you confirm the bar’s early close with elzer before making your daily rounds throughout the city.

as diluc’s partner, one of your main responsibilities is to aid in dawn winery’s operations. your primary job is to collaborate with the warehouse manager, ernest, and the primary winemaker, connor, to manage dawn winery’s wine production. if there are any stock or manufacturing issues, it is up to you to meet with the necessary partners to resolve such concerns.

therefore, you spend the day conversing with local grocers and addressing the customer complaints you read in the morning. at one point, you catch a glance of diluc entering the lobby of the goth grand hotel, and just the sight of his red locks makes you warm with expectation and excitement.

and when night falls, you wrap up the last of your conversations and head to angel’s share. the silence and almost lonely atmosphere around the bar is rare, but you know you are not alone when you catch a glimpse of a person underneath the backlights.

you enter the bar with loud shuffles, careful not to alert diluc.

“we’re closed!” he yells from the backroom.

“it’s me,” you reply. at the sound of your voice, the backroom door clicks shut, and diluc appears in a high ponytail and rolled up sleeves.

without saying a word, diluc walks up to you and pulls you into a warm embrace. he mumbles into your neck. “it’s really good to see you.”

you stroke his hair, smoothing out jutting strands and untangling knots. “i haven’t seen you in a while. anything i can help with?”

“no, i have the weekend off.” you perk up, but your smile quickly morphs into a frown.

“but the weekends are usually the busiest.”

“a little bird nagged me all day long that i was neglecting my spouse.” diluc stands up straight. “and i want to make time for us. i apologize for my absence.”

“i understand –”

“but you’re not without fault either.”

you quirk a brow at your husband. you know you have been performing your duties as expected, and based on what you know, you have not done anything to peeve him.

as you wrack through your memory, diluc stares at you. your cheeks and the tips of your ears are still warm from spending the day under the sun. the collar of your top is slightly upturned, and a few strands of your hair are entangled with the earrings he gave you for your second anniversary. when his gaze dips down to your collarbones, he smiles at the chain hanging around your neck.

“what are you smiling at?” you say.

“your wedding ring.” instinctively, you clutch at your chain.

“you’re not actually mad at me, are you?”

diluc leans down and kisses your fingertips that are wrapped around the ring. “next time,” he mutters, “tell me you want me. no matter what.” nodding, you leave a kiss on the crown of his head.

“i want us to go home together.”

without another word, diluc wraps an arm around your waist and leads you out of angel’s share.

[alicethenobody]

I need to rant about this because it kinda bugs me (probably cus I’m just really autistic about Dante)

I see a lot of people bash Dante for his isolation habits, often trying to avoid getting close to people because he’s scared they’ll get hurt. Outside of their reunion hug Dante avoided Lucia and he also didn’t talk to Nero either post DMC4, which obviously sucks because Dante means a lot to both of them, which is where the antagonizing of him often comes from.

But here’s the thing: He’s really not being unreasonable. Yes, it sucks a lot for the people who want to be able to be close to him but like. He’s watched everyone he care about die twice, both for the reason of just being related to Sparda. First it happened with his family, then it happened with his friends from his Tony Redgrave days. His enemies went after his friends and family just for being associated with Sparda. Hell, people often blame him for those incidents (such as Ernest from the anime) which doesn’t help things. It makes sense for him to be terrified of it happening again.

I’m not saying this doesn’t hurt Lucia and Nero because it does. But to idk… villainize him in this situation? It bugs me. It’s just a bad situation for everyone both Dante and his friends so it makes me feel weird when people say he deserves to have his ass kicked or something for a pretty reasonable trauma response.

Anyways sorry for the negative post lol. I guess I’m just kinda defensive over my favorite characters sometimes.

I think most people will disagree with my take but yea lmao.

[leeyanyanyaaan]

Kayn x Graffiti Artist!Reader

16 / 11 / 2023

hi hi~ welcome to the start of my heartsteel x headcanon series "creatively charmed"! sorry, i cant think of a better title atm LOL anyways, this is gonna be a series of the heartsteel band with a lover who's got a creative side to them XD that's all, hope you enjoy! next up will be sett ^-^

Started with another one of days where Kayn decided to go out and wreak havoc by vandalizing everything LOL

When he does he often comes across a lot of grafitti art, this one in particular has a certain style to it

He always lets out a little chuckle when he sees it.

Now, as a fellow artist himself, he is respectful enough to not ruin that person's art, but he does his own grafitti nearby. For him it always includes his HEARTSTEEL icon and if he's feeling good then some song lyrics or a joke

This time, it was shortly after HEARTSTEEL's debut MV released, so when he left to do his usual vandalizing, he wrote "two sides to a story but they never tell my side" with a bunch of doodles. He was particularly proud of this piece, so he was planning to continue working on it the next day

What he didn't expect, however, was for someone to continue the lyrics, with "never been the kinda guy to stay inside the guidelines" written underneath, as well as some art of Kayn's scenes and even a headshot drawing of him from their single's thumbnail

Kayn was surprised and amazed to see it, and broke out into an excited shit-eating grin once he saw the artist's signature that he saw in all their other pieces

"So, looks like I captured this person's heart too. Ever the popular star I am, no?"

And so, he continued the lyrics to his verse, secretly hoping this grafitti artist will continue it again.

Which they did, and gradually, that specific wall gradually filled up with PARANOIA's lyrics from their gradual exchange, even with additional doodles of the other members, Ernest and Rhaast, and some of the funny scenes of the MV

Even mini conversations started with side comments on each others drawings, for example:

"This dog -> true MVP of HEARTSTEEL"

"The dog in the MV? His name's Ernest. (But Kayn is the real MVP)"

"LOL u come up w that name? I can see it tho ngl"

Oh right, this person doesn't know this is THE Kayn Shieda they're talking to

Anyways, this exchange made Kayn excited to come back every time (even his bandmates questioned why he goes out every night looking all excited)

Same with Rhaast actually LOL, but Kayn doesn't let him because he knows how crazy he gets when it comes to vandalizing

"I WANT A TURNNN KAYNNN" "No! I don't need you drawing 100 dicks on the wall again!" "THAT'S HOW MUCH OF A DICKHEAD YOU AREE-"

But alas, all good things must come to an end, after... 2 months, I guess? They had finished writing all the lyrics of the song and the whole wall was full of just HEARTSTEEL PARANOIA. Okay, so that's the end of it then.

Until a paper plane hit the top of Kayn's head. Annoyed, Kayn immediately lifted his head up to the direction it was thrown, yapping angrily at whoever had the fucking audacity to do that

Just as he was about to crumple the plane, he noticed writing on one of its wings, "read me!" Raising a brow curiously, he opened up the paperplane, where it revealed a username with a discord logo drawn next to it, along with your artist signature :)

I love how writing for Kayn gives me the free reign to swear AHAHAHDJSN

[lucky-draws]

(transcript + some notes/explanation under the cut:)

i feel like the context of this is maybe only apparent in my own head LOL so basically ive kind of imagined an au where, based on the rebirth ending, james has succeeded in bringing mary back to life, but also maria, and also james gets killed in the process. so it's basically just maria and mary alone in the townTM trying to figure each other out. and this is a letter maria sends mary at some point basically. transcript in case the font is annoying to read:

Mary, You’ll have to forgive me if any of this sounds a little weird. I haven’t written anybody a letter in years, and I’m not sure if I have much of a way with words. Though I’ve been spending a lot of time in Ernest’s library lately, so hopefully some of his great literature has rubbed off on me. Somehow, I had this idea that I never liked reading much - that it wasn’t really my style - but I ended up getting kind of hooked. His dusty old books sure aren’t the worst company in this town, at any rate. I wonder what we really are, you and I. I used to think of us as two music box dolls: dancing side by side, spinning in perfect unison to somebody else’s tune. Like a pair of clocks keeping the same time. Two parallel lines, and an impossibility for us to ever intersect, to face each other head-on without some kind of disaster.

We’re not completely identical, though. If you looked closely at me - if you could bear to do that - you’d see all my imperfections. I lack your fine details. The paint on my lips is messier, my joins are showing, and there are bits of sprew left between my fingers. Pick me up, and you’ll feel how much lighter I am - I’m missing a lot of internal parts, you see. I’m a knock-off - we were cast from different molds. You were born of nature, while I was born from your very own killer. But I suppose I don’t need to tell you that. Do you hate me? I understand if you do. Or maybe I’m not so important - maybe you can only think of him. Or perhaps you’re trying not to think of anything at all when you sit by that lake for hours on end. I don’t know how you can stand it - going to the lake every day. It's so quiet. No ducks, not even a single bird. I’d go crazy, I think. That’s why I like to stay at the bar: there’s no one here either, of course, but it feels easier to imagine there might be. To pretend that we’ve only just closed, that those drinks on the table belonged to the last customers, and not to me. I’ve been so restless lately, sitting in the bar all night. I wonder if - no, I guess I’m hoping that - something’s going to give, soon. I think I’m losing the beat  - I’m spinning slower than you are. I think it’s because I keep getting distracted, always thinking of you. I don’t know what it is. Perhaps it’s simply because you’re the only thing in this dreadful town that’s not a monster. But I think you must be as lonely as I am. Much more so, probably. And I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if you’d only reach through the mirror and touch me. I’m full of missing pieces, I know - but I have this notion that between us, we might just be able to come together into something like a real person. You know, some days I feel I hardly know who I am; but other times I feel so sure that I’m beginning to dance to my own beat. It’s no fun dancing alone, though. Well, I guess you know where to find me. I’ll be waiting at the bar tonight. I always am. I’ve waited there every night - for something, someone, anything, anyone - for what feels like forever. But these days, I’m just waiting for you. See you around, Maria

[pynkhues]

Speaking of Louis, Lestat and masculinity, I think a point that people always ignore is that Louis' masculinity is important to him and he's attached to gender roles/preconceptions far more than Lestat/the way Lestat is not. I think it's communicated in the show pretty well. It's why he feels comfortable in the role of the successful businessman to Lestat's supporting spouse, but not when the power dynamic is flipped, and why Lestat feels comfortable to be the supporting spouse as well. Your recent post reminded me of the "Come to me" lyrics, and I think Lestat placing himself in the feminine role of Mélisande is another example of that. Plus the Marie Antoinette dress (note Louis being kind of uncomfortable with the camp of it all lol).

I totally agree, anon. I think the show's pretty deliberate with the fact that Louis' at his most comfortable in his relationships with both Lestat and Armand when he's acting as the businessman / breadwinner and they're acting as the supportive spouse. I mention it in the post I think you're replying to, but Lestat playing host at The Azaelia and helping to manage the staff - presumably without being paid - very much plays into that sort of dynamic, and it's one Louis seems to be repeating with Armand in Dubai given Armand's helping to effectively administrate the sales of Louis' art investments. It's a form of unpaid domestic labour which in a loving relationship, can be completely fine, but does often come with (perceived or real) connotations of roles and a certain power dynamic.

A huge part of that I think is tied to Louis' sense of masculinity and the role he wants to take in his relationships, but I also think it comes from a genuine place of wanting to be the provider, which has likely been borne out of the role he took with his mother and siblings as a young man. I talk about that more here, but I do think he needs to feel like he can look after those he cares about, and I actually do think it comes from a pure place even though it can be and is often corrupted by the fact that he's capable of real cruelty and vindictiveness when he feels scorned (i.e. he wants to provide for Grace because he loves her, and he buys her that holiday for her honeymoon, and he wants her to have the house to raise her family in, but when she disowns him, he doubles down on that out of spite not because he's letting her go and moving on, but because he's holding her to it. He knows she and Levi could never afford it without him, and he really rubs that in her face at their mother's wake. She'll always be living in his house, and that once meant something pure and good and loving, albeit paternalistic, and now it fundamentally does not).

I didn't really go into it in that last post, but I also think Louis being a voracious reader is something that gets misread a bit sometimes. Like these days, it can feel like being well-read is more common with women, particularly in online spaces, but I absolutely see the connotations on the show of it being partially a performance of class and masculinity. That's not to say I don't think he genuinely loves reading - I really think he does, and I love that about him - but this is the 1910s through 1930s when hypermasculinity and wealth was very much tied to being well-read, and a lot of contemporary authors from William Faulkner to Ernest Hemingway to Joseph Conrad, were both depicting and exploring manhood in ways that were pretty formative for a generation of men.

On top of that, reading was a symbol of class because the only people who had the time or capacity to do it were people who were both educated and had money. Louis sitting on a park bench in a three piece suit reading Charles Darwin of all people is absolutely a show of class and masculinity, and the fact that it dovetails into a conversation about diet, again, is a broadcast of wealth and status. Sure, we're talking about eating people, but if you're looking at it as a metaphor, it's symbolic of Louis having' choices about what he eats when, which is inherently about having the means and status to do so.

Plus I feel it's pretty important context for Louis and Lestat's bickering in 1.05 when Louis' reading Madame Bovary - Lestat calls Louis a snob, and Louis goes in by basically calling Lestat shallow and uncultured, which is a) very funny to me, personally, I love it when they're mean to each other, haha, but also b) I think very much evident of Louis' feelings of masculinity, particularly given it happens directly after he cites Claudia calling him the unhappy housewife. Again, Louis' rejecting that role - the house is a mess (so they've either fired their staff, or they've quit), Louis' not going to do it and neither is Lestat, and Louis' sprawled on the couch reading from his husband's library and dragging him for being too frivolous to read them.

Again, I think Louis genuinely loves reading, but I also do think for him it's fundamentally a part of his identity as a Cultured, Intellectual Man. It's why he doesn't take to the campiness of the Theatres des Vampires, or as you said, get involved in lestat's Mardi Gras performance (I'm always sooo fascinated by the fact that we don't get a reaction shot of Louis to that sequence at all - again! It feels loaded!) I think his sense of masculinity is, well, pretty traditionally masculine, and I think it's pretty vital to his self-image.

[velvetvexations]

I keep seeing posts that are like "men are shallow while women are out here being monsterfuckers" like I get where it's coming from (many men are misogynistic and higher beauty standards for women etc etc) but like turning monster fucking into a men vs women thing is so... Sorry to tell you (general), but there are so many women out there who wouldn't touch anyone not conventionally attractive with a 10 foot pole. It's got a gendered skew, but acting like all women out there just care about personality and all men just care about conventional beauty forgets about the massive social forces that value conventional attractiveness in everyone and literally will cause Anyone who does not have conventionally attractive (white, thin, etc) traits to have genuine disadvantages in life no matter what their gender or what the gender of the judge.

Women can be as judgy as anyone else on account of the live in society, are human part

also there's nothing actually anything wrong with being attracted to any trait lol like fucking Ernest Clines out here going "uhhh they want to fuck BIMBOS but I like girls who are SMART"

[wishcamper]

Nesta, Interrupted: gendered perceptions of alcoholism in ACOSF

CW: addiction, sexual assault, gendered violence.

Creds: I’m a licensed counselor with a degree specialization in treating addiction. I have career experience with multiple modes of mental health, trauma, and substance use treatment in women-specific carceral, institutional, and healthcare settings. And I know anyone can come on the internet and say that, but I pinky promise.

The short version:

ACOSF stigmatizes alcoholism in line with cultural standards.

Western culture feels differently about female and male alcoholics due to systemic sexism, and thus treats them differently.

Women’s experience of alcoholism is often compounded by or even a result of systemic factors and intersectional identity.

Nesta’s treatment in ACOSF, while repugnant, is in many ways very accurate of attitudes today.

(I’ll be using “women/men” and “male/female” to denote cis afab and amab people. Little research exists on the experiences of queer, nonbinary and gender expansive considerations in addiction and recovery, which is a fuckin’ shame. Studies are also largely conducted with white participants due to enormous barriers to treatment for Black, Indigenous, and people of color, so this convo is inherently incomplete where it neglects those intersections.)

Okay, first things first: ACOSF is a book that stigmatizes alcoholism. I will not be taking questions.

The number one thing to understand is that in America, land of Miss Sarah, we are very bad at addiction treatment (tx). Why? Because our culture hates addicts has as stigma around addiction. And female alcoholics bear a very specific set of stigmas based in their identity.

In Susanna Kaysen’s memoir Girl, Interrupted , Kaysen’s character is institutionalized following a non-fatal suicide attempt. When evaluated, she’s diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, that bastion of diagnoses perfect for people (75% of whom are female-identified) who don’t fit into our polite definition of functioning. As the book unfolds, she reflects on how (white) women are often pathologized when they buck against systems of oppression that create the dysfunction in them in the first place. That is not to say other women in the institution are not genuinely in need of help, nor that mental illness in women is always from a systemic wound. But it’s crucial in the treatment of female addiction and mental health disorders to considered the systemic factors of gendered violence and patriarchy, and the attitudes we hold about women who struggle with drinking.

Think about female alcoholics in media. If she’s young, she’s a loose, reckless sl*t looking for trouble and deserving of the reality check when she finds it (Amy Schumer in Trainwreck, Lindsay Lohan in general). Or if the woman are older, they are discarded, or gross, or pathetic, or evil like anyone Faye Dunaway played or Eminem’s mom in 8 Mile (deep cut lol). Men are afforded a much larger spectrum of experiences and struggles - Ernest Hemingway, Leaving Las Vegas, Sideways, the dude from A Star is Born, Frank from Shameless (brilliant), frat boys, blue collar workers, introspective tortured artists, fucking IRON MAN. I could go on forever, but I hope that illustrates the depth and diversity of male-centric stories of alcoholism not often afforded to women.

One of the most empathetic and accurate portrayals of female alcoholism, in my opinion, is in the show Sharp Objects (the book, too, but actually witnessing it makes a difference). We see Amy Adams’ Camille swig vodka from an Evian bottle while fending off vicious, veiled attacks from her verbally and emotionally abusive mother and experiencing flashbacks of teenage sexual assault. We watch her struggle to find emotional safety in her conservative hometown, both wanting to fit in and get out in order to survive. We GET why she drinks and I have trouble blaming her for it even as she wreaks havoc on herself and others. We can see her clawing just to make it out alive, and alcohol is the tool she’s using to do it, for better or worse.

Which is where Nesta enters the chat. When we get our first glimpse of her alcohol use is ACOFAS, it’s portrayed as something everyone knows about but that she’s still mostly keeping it together - her dress is clean, her hair is neatly braided, she doesn’t need a chaperone to show up to a family event. The deterioration between ACOFAS and ACOSF is alarming, and we know that alcoholism is a progressive condition so that tends to happen. Was there a particular trigger? That’s hard to say. Solstice certainly didn’t help, especially with the pressures to perform and conform to the standards of the Inner Circle aka the people in power. I imagine seeing her sisters bouncey and reveling in the world that stole them and killed their father was probably.. tough, to say the least. The barge party seems to be a turning point as well, though this one is more confusing to me. But given the child abuse, extreme poverty, sexual assault, kidnapping, bodily violation, witnessing her father’s murder, almost dying, WAR - and that’s not even to mention essentially becoming a refugee - it would be amazing if she DIDN’T drink. She 100% has complex trauma, and is looking for ways to cope.

No one with full capacity dreams of becoming an addict when they grow up. Addiction, in my professional and personal experience, is largely a strategy for coping with a deeper wound. People don’t drink to feel bad. They drink to feel good, and to survive. Nesta herself is drinking to survive, but it’s having the unfortunate side effect of killing her at the same time. As she slides into active addiction, the thought of her own death may even be comforting, and alcohol in that way is her friend. (There's some interesting research right now framing addiction as an attachment disorder, but I don't know enough to speak on it much.)

So she obviously needs help. That’s not a debate. What is a debate is how the IC should best go about intervening. A variation on the Johnson method is used in ACOSF (the one from the show Intervention) and appears to be successful only because they threaten her if she doesn’t comply. This method has mixed data to support it, and while it’s very good at getting people into tx, there is a higher relapse rate for those who receive it (1). The “family” gathers and tells her the ways she’s hurt them and tell her the consequences if she doesn’t seek the help they’re offering. And again, so many of their reason are the effects on THEM, how she’s making THEM look, not her pain.

The IC’s ignorance and dismissal of her alcoholism in ACOSF is frankly mystifying. Why do they intervene on all the drinking and sexing, anyway? It seems like they’ve been fine enough with it up to this point. But now it's gone too far, not because of her illness but because she is embarrassing them. And I don’t know about you, but between Cassian apparently fucking half of Velaris and Mor’s heavily documented emotional drinking, that’s hard to square. It makes it feel much more likely that they don’t like the way she is coping, that she is not fitting into their picture of who she’s supposed to be. This picture is inherently gendered, because Prythian society and those who live in it have explicit and implicit expectations of gender roles, whether they’ll admit it or not. Cassian and Mor are playing their roles well; Nesta is not.

That leads me to believe it is NOT all about her, but the systemic and internal factors influencing their perception of her and the ways she’s struggling. It’s distasteful to them for her, a female, to be deteriorating this publicly, despite the fact that her very identity makes it harder for her to function in the patriarchy of Prythian. We hear almost exclusively about sexual violence against women, aside from 2 male characters. Past or present assault of women is a major plot point on multiple occasions (Mor, Gwyn, Nesta, Emerie, Rhysands mom and sister, the lady of autumn, Cassians mom, Azriels mom, I could go on). But something about the way Nesta is contending with that is unacceptable, and I believe it’s because she’s not trying to cover up her dysfunction. In prythian, we keep these things hidden- Mor’s assault is never processed in full, Azriel’s mom seems to be alone at Rosehall, priestesses are literally hidden inside a mountain for centuries. Women process trauma alone and in the dark, but Nesta is in the light and she is loud. She is refusing to hide her problems, and the IC don’t like that, whether they realize it or not.

So why don’t the IC understand this? Like I said earlier, as a culture we hate addicts, or what they stand for, in very much the same way I think we hate people experiencing homelessness. We convince ourselves it was a series of bad choices that led someone where they are, choices we would never make because we are smart, smarter than them. We believe are more in control than that. We can prevent bad things from happening to us because we are good, because we are better than whoever it’s happening to. But the reality is almost ALL of us are one hospital stay away from homelessness, just as all of us are one trauma away from addiction. And with female addicts, we have another layer of expecting women to only struggle nicely and quietly, or to go away. Intersectional factors are at play here, too: white women are much more likely to have alcoholism attributed to mental health and trauma factors, where people of color often suffer the same addiction being more associated with crime. You can imagine how that plays out differently.

So what is the effect of all this? Gendered expectations lead to not only external stigma around addiction and tx, but also to internalized stigma which can limit willingness to seek tx. (2) Many social forces encourage women to drink and discourage them from telling anyone. Factors such as poverty, family planning, access to education, racial discrimination, and location can make services harder to access. Internally, women are more likely to enter treatment with less confidence in their ability to succeed, but report more strengths and more potential to grow recovery strengths during and following tx. For men, the pattern is reversed (3). And women have more successful tx episodes overall when gendered considerations are a part of the design and implementation of services (4). For Nesta, the effect is that she’s forced into treatment and copes by having hate sex with her ex and changing herself to conform to her family’s expectations while the House and the Valkyrie’s actually take care of her. I do not see how Sarah drew the line from there to recovery, I truly don’t. If anything, she recovers in spite of the ICs intervention, not because of it.

In summary, Nesta Archeron deserved better. Nesta deserved the same compassion the book gives to men who are struggling, and it’s a reflection of not just the book’s culture but the author’s culture that she doesn’t get it. Female alcoholics are worthy of treatment that integrates their identities, as those identities are often essential factors contributing to their addiction. What's shown in ACOSF is a reality many women live, and they shouldn't have to.

Barry Loneck, James A. Garrett & Steven M Banks (1996) The Johnson Intervention and Relapse During Outpatient Treatment, The American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse, 22:3, 363-375, DOI: 10.3109/00952999609001665

Groshkova T, Best D, White W. The Assessment of Recovery Capital: Properties and psychometrics of a measure of addiction recovery strengths. Drug Alcohol Rev. 2013;32(2):187–94.

Best D, Vanderplasschen W, Nisic M. Measuring capital in active addiction and recovery: the development of the strengths and barriers recovery scale (SABRS). Subst Abuse Treat, Prev Policy. 2020;15(1):1–8.

Polak, K., Haug, N.A., Drachenberg, H.E. et al. Gender Considerations in Addiction: Implications for Treatment. Curr Treat Options Psych 2, 326–338 (2015). https://doi.org/10.1007/s40501-015-0054-5

[vidavalor]

"You love trains": Crowley & Aziraphale inspired 'North by Northwest'

Putting my film studies background to good use here with some film history & historical context under the cut.

The "what does the J stand for?" exchange in The Blitz, Part 1 and the inability for the audience to initially understand what Aziraphale is mouthing in The Blitz, Part 2 are both references to Hitchcock's classic spy thriller, 'North by Northwest'. I didn't link the clip that goes along with The Blitz, Part 2 in case some of you have never seen this film because it would ruin your experience of it. (Definitely watch it if you have not as it's a masterpiece.) Since The Blitz scenes are taking place in 1941 and 'North by Northwest' was released 18 years later in 1959, Crowley and Aziraphale aren't referencing the film in the dialogue but, instead, could be presumed to be the source *of* the dialogue in the film... just like how Shakespeare lifted Crowley's love poetry for 'Antony & Cleopatra'... and the 'North by Northwest'-referencing part of The Blitz, Part 1 *is referencing* the 'Antony and Cleopatra' reference because it's the reveal of Crowley's first name. But... it gets even better...

The writer of 'North by Northwest' was legendary Hollywood screenwriter Ernest Lehman, whom we're now presuming to have been a friend of probably at least Aziraphale's. Lehman wrote a dozen or so classic films and, outside of 'North by Northwest', is most famous for writing adaptations of several famous musicals, including the adapted screenplay for... 'The Sound of Music.' But, no, somehow, we aren't done yet with how amazing this is lol.

The thing that makes this all even funnier is that 'North by Northwest' is responsible for probably the most famous train metaphor in cinema. I'll spoil just this bit as it won't really ruin the overall movie for you if you haven't seen it but don't go any further than here if you don't want to be spoiled at all. If you've already seen it, you totally know what I mean. *laughs*

In 1959, when this film was released, you still couldn't really show sex on screen in a mainstream film. If you showed two people in a bedroom at all, they were cisgender, heterosexual and married and they slept in two separate beds. The level of sex happening in the above clip was *wild* for the era and the fact that it was put into the film the way it is-- that an unmarried woman picks up a hot guy on a train and they sleep together and she's still the heroine of the film and all of that-- was really nothing short of feminist revolution in a film in this era.

The film has a famous "love scene" of sorts that follows not long after the one I linked above, where the two of them are in a cabin on the train and starting to get it on but constraints of cinema coding at the time limited how far it could go. So, to imply that the main characters do, in fact, sleep together, the film famously cuts away to a shot of the train entering a tunnel-- making the train itself symbolic of sex. Because of how famous the film overall--and this scene in particular--became, it became a thing to use trains euphemistically for sex in other cinematic works following it. There is literally no way that Crowley and Aziraphale have not seen this movie so while Aziraphale was happy to make The Bentley into a sexual metaphor while angling for the car keys, Crowley is half-heartedly griping in flirty response by continually referencing trains, another sexual mode of transportation-- the one that that they inspired lol. Hence Aziraphale's bemused little lololol-but-won't-give-him-the-satisfaction-of-seeing-my-amusement face here:

Sunglassed!Cary Grant is Crowley and the old movie chemistry and the semi-coded flirty banter and someone please, please write a fic where Aziraphale says "I don't particularly like the book I've started"-- I will pay you lol.