#i like drawing dave upset hes cute

[laidback-thrills]

Some dsaf and fnaf doodles HEHEHEHE

[fairyfleshprison]

okay so lemme tell you what i think about this card scene (excuse the shitty screenshots i took it through my phone at the computer )

okay so first they compare patrick and daves card. in the scene patricks inner monolgue suggests that the other people prefer daves card but Me Personally - between these two patricks is arguably the better card. his choise of bone white comes of elegant and classy. and his choice of font is the same, its simple, it states it point, its clean, direct. it knows exactly what its trying to accomplish and does it well. 8.6/10

now as for daves card. the choice of white is nearly awful. it looks murky and off. like when you make a piece of paper with recycled paper at the science fair and it turns out kind grey. its like that. its giving sloppy, no attention to detail. and then the font choice on top of it. wayyy too thick. majorly aggresive vibes. its giving resignation letter font. its giving trying to act like hes one of the big dogs but hes just not and its soooo noticeable. like he Needs everyone to think hes that guy instead of him actually Being that guy. however i did like the addition of the diagonal grooves at the back of the card, it Almost makes up for and distracts from the bad colouring. but really that just adds to what i said about him giving all face and no substance vibes. 6/10

Timothys card is cute. very unsuspecting. clean clear font. very plain white, nothing fancy about it. but it also has the grooves on it like Daves. Timothys card is giving. he's been in his position the longest so he has nothing to prove anymore. doesnt need anything extra flashy. as long as his name as at the front nice and clear that in and of itself draws the attention he needs. it commands a simple respect without needing to do it forcefully. id keep this card in my pocket or something to reccomend him. 9/10.

and finally Paul Allens card. guys....im about to say something sooo upsetting but...his card is like Perfect. near perfect cause i dont believe in true perfection but based on his choice of colouring and font this guy definetely does and he thinks He is IT. no grooves in his paper means he doesnt feel the need for all the bells and whistles, like timothy he lets the card speak for it self. like Dave the lettering is thick but not in a way like he just chose the thickest font to show off. its giving "I'M HIM" font. not aggressive as a means to hide his lack of skill and or personal security like dave. but like he knows hes good and he can back that up all on his own. and finally like Patrick its direct and professional. i almost wanna say delicate but its more like its crisp. ths raised lettering almost looks like its gold with a black tint over it so it reeeeally stands out without necessarily being in your face, but it definetely wants you to want it in your face. i like Patrick, i really do but honestly. Paul really does have it in my opinion. im not even gonna give it a rating cause im sad and ashamed i like his card so much😭😭😭

watching american psycho for the first time and im thinking like, i should take skin care routine tips from this guy 👀👀👀

[rotshop]

can i get dogboy dave x catperson reader. i dunno how to write these asks uh

cracking my kunckels . finally putting my dogthing knowledge 2 work ,, slightly shorter set bc i am very tired and im tryna get back in2 the swing of things

[ obligatory ONE mention of alcohol. ]

-so hypothetically for the sake of the argument lets say you're a cat. a kitty cat if you will. lets ALSO say that you happen to be a pretty damn good hire of the SQ. having the skills that you do and the added agility + wariness that comes with your more feline-side, it's easy to see why people are so quick to jump to you for your abilties. that being said, you're always in need of a ride to wherever it is you're trying to go. enter dave.

-it's a pretty normal, purely business relationship at first. you tell him where you're headed, he takes off, and you both sit quietly for a gran majority of the way over. maybe he'll give you a quick 'good luck' or something as you go and get a little wave of acknowledgement, but that's not really saying much.

-it's only when he closes the gap a little further with a few nudges that anything really starts. it wasn't much, really, he'd just noticed you seemed tired after a mission and suggested that you sleep on the way back to headquarters. (don't try pushing back, he will find a way to get you to rest for at least half-an-hour. i hate to say it but he WILL do puppy-dog-eyes and they WILL work. cry abt it.)

-this becomes a bit more of a normal, you'll get a little bit of shut-eye here and there and he promises to not get into any bad situations while you're out. so far, he's been pretty good on sticking to that, even if he's definitely woken you up a few times with a little bit of shakiness in his steering. (he just sighs a bit dramatically and gives some drawn out, whiney little 'oh im soooo sorry for interrupting your cat-nap' just to get on your nerves. it's hard to be upset when he's giving you a dumb little grin at your annoyance)

-you two steadily grow closer and closer, it becoming increasingly obvious that, hey, maybe this isn't a normal friends thing. maybe it isn't a normal friends thing for one of you to visibly perk up and wag their tail whenever they see the other. maybe it isn't a normal friends thing for one of you to have to bite back a purr during quiet, late-night moments of comfortable silence.

-anyway. hope you like sudden confessions because that's what you're getting. chances are it'll be late at night. chances are you were probably sleeping. chances are he's not entirely sober. oh well.

-hope you ALSO like company because chances are if neither of you are really do anything he's just gonna follow you around really. whether you're both going out and doing something (which he's a fan of, since he enjoys having some new experiences with you. it gives you both a chance to just kinda experiment and put some faith in one another) or you're just going to go hang-out and relax in one of your guys' rooms (which he's ALSO a fan of because he likes being close to you. even if you both aren't directly interacting he still likes just looking over at what you're doing every now and then- he'll probably ask a few questions too. if you're reading then he wants to know what about, if you're writing he wants to know what the plot is, if you're drawing he wants to know what it's supposed to be, so on so forth.)

-ON THAT NOTE also expect a lot of physical affection if you're cool w/ that. he WILL practically lay on you, partly to annoy you (affectionately) partly just because its comfy to him. ALSO likes you laying on him . if you purr at all there's a 90% chance he'll mimic it back at you because he thinks its cute </3 .

-do expect him to give you his jacket frequently . doesn't matter if its big or small on you, you WILL get it. 9/10 times its a makeshift blanket for you. he likes to think he's romantic whenever he hands it over to you but its really hard to believe that when he's shaking like a fucked up little chihuahua because he's cold. fortunately for him you don't exactly want him to freeze to death and are willing to keep close to him so he can steal your bodyheat <333

-he has given you a kiss by licking your cheek before and it was terrible. you got payback by poking holes in his shirt with your claws.

[jubberry]

oohkay let's go tua with those ship asks: fiveya, horrance and alluther.

thanks el i love you

Send me a ship and I'll answer three questions based on if I ship it or not.

fiveya obvs i ship this since this is 90% of my tua drawings lol

1. ill wait ill wait (to be the one) by georgiestauffenberg made me ship it cause holy fuck dude. I dont know if i ship them romantically when i saw them onscreen cause first of all, age difference is kinda weird lmao. Second, they dont rlly interact much outside literally the first couple of eps. But he was so soft for her, and i felt like they had so much unexplored history.

so i looked at fanfics cause i was wondering if ppl still ship it, then i liked the description of this one so i gave it a go.

Basically the premise is that vanya dates a much older man who seems to know a lot about her. And it was amazingly in character and just provided their characters some depth that u wouldnt find outside of a romantic relationship between them. (The implication of five pining while she doesnt know who he is, their missed chances when he time travelled, fives missed chances of living and having a 'normal' life bec of his own hubris, vanyas insecurity and being able to open up bec shes with someone whos known her since childhood). Its so sweet and thats how i was like, oh yep i can do so much more with these two, and what has kept me interested in drawing them etc.

2. My favourite things are the shippers cause i made some friends in the fandom who are super cool and supportive! I dont get super involved in fandoms and usually just watch from afar so finding people to talk to and muck around with in this tiny fandom is super cool 😭

Though thats not to say I havent come across some bad apples in this fandom and things that I dont like. I think thats the importance of carving out a place for yourself and ur friends in fandom tho.

Another thing I like about the ship itself, i just like the grumpy person whos soft for one person trope. Its so cute. I like all the little clues in canon on how their relationship as kids is quite warm, which is interesting cause five is basically the star student and he can be quite cold vs vanya who is the black sheep of the family.

I also like how five likes her powers even when she caused the apocalypse he spent the majority of his life in lol. Like its a popular hc that five is just a wife guy and i love that.

I see vanya as the type who has a lot of love to give, and she sometimes has unrealistic expectations of what her partner can give. Betrayal and lies really angers her, but also when her partner cannot meet her expectations of love she gets very upset bec its also an indication of how shes not good enough, or not loveable enough to be able to have this in the relationship (her insecurity means every failing always comes back to her, even if its out of her control).

I feel like five would be a level-headed person enough in the relationship to not be afraid to say 'vanya ur being stupid' (ie. the s2 confrontation lmao). Also, five's personality means she will never have to doubt his actions bec she knows hes the type who will not give u the moment of the day if hes not interested.

Not to mention they also have the whole apocalypse vs. saviour, hero/villain thing. Theres just a lot to explore!

3. I probably have several. But mostly I dont mind five being a dick to vanya bec first, even if the appeal is hes soft to her hes already kind of a dick in canon lmao. Also, vanya isnt a child. Shes grown and she can handle petty af things like five telling her shes not good at cooking lol. I also dont mind it cause I feel like people are getting too afraid to write... conflict for fear or portraying an abusive relationship or smth. Like, chill. Conflict is fine, resolving it is how u get a story. However in saying that, nobody should be obligated to write any way unless you want to! Fanfic is for comfort so if what your doing is making u happy then its good enough!

horrance which i also ship but i love the platonic and romantic relationship equally:

1. I came in tua in general not shipping anything so Im honestly not sure. I do remember someone doing a meta before s2 came out that was basically how ben acted weird when klaus summoned dave in s1 that made me go 👀 Otherwise, tua s2 rlly made me like them cause tua FED horrance shippers. Like..... the fact that klaus didnt want ben to leave him, and ben knows thats why he stayed 😢 or the fact that klaus was all over him for some reason???? Somebody also mentioned gay ben once and I resonate with that deeply. Like i get that jill exists but i resonate with gay ben deeply.

2. I love their bickering, theyre so cute together. I just like ben being angry bec hes self aware that hes got both shit and amazing taste. Shit bec he cant believes he likes Klaus (and also amazing also bec Klaus). I think the idea of them being kind of underdogs, theyre not rlly leader types and dont want to be, helps them bond together even in platonic horrance. They're both down to earth, and even tho they can annoy each other, they also know if they want a space to feel comfortable its with each other. Theyre not pressured by rivalry over leadership, or any sort of competition.

I love the idea that even tho ben is like klaus's ''conscience'', hes also down for chaos and bitchy. I feel like klaus rlly enabled that side of him, its not exactly a good thing but its p funny lol

3. I know some people think their dynamic is unhealthy but i dont care lol

alluther. So id say i dont ship this, mostly due to the fact that im not invested? Just like all tua ships so far I rlly came out not wanting anything but platonic relationships cause I feel tua doesnt do romance very well. With alluther, theyre so cute but im not super invested in either of their chars so they havent stuck for me. I appreciate seeing them and talking about them tho, and I'm def open to exploring them further.

1. I think tua canon romances are just so lackluster 😔 Idk who writes the romances but I was just like 'nice' but afterwards I dont really think about them. I love their dance scene and the message behind it! Otherwise, theyre sweet like most of the tua romances but im not super invested, same with all the non canon ships.

2. I really feel like tua needs to decide on what their relationship is. Like, just say its incest or not and stick with it 👀 Or if you wanna support it or not, just make up ur mind. I think I would've liked it better if I found the characters more interesting. Allison especially I feel like suffers from the fact that tua just doesn't want to make her ''mean''. They want to make her supportive and are less interested in making her flawed (ie. she should've had a conflict with Vanya in s2, but the writers didnt want to write the girls fighting which is stupid imo and not what that conflict is about).

In regards to Alluther, the scene where Allison gets annoyed at Luther for sleeping with someone else felt out of line. Like, how are you marrying other people and moving on but Luther isn't allowed to? But honestly, I don't mind if they actually just acknowledge it and make it a deliberate part of Allison's trait that Allison can expect a certain loyalty automatically from other people (which can tie in to her childhood being a star, and the rumour).

Luther is a big simp for Allison, which is sweet, but at the same time it would be nice to have him explore himself for a bit, and who he is outside of the academy. Then maybe they can rekindle their relationship again as new people and see where they go from there.

3. I don't hate them, but they're ok. I'm not super invested in them, just like all the tua canon romance. But I wouldn't mind making content for them if I were a bit more invested in their characters. I love their dance scene in s1 and I feel like its super a underrated portrayal of what their relationship is meant to be. I know no one talks about it but it's just such a great scene, and I'm pretty sure the choreographer was into interpretive dance? The scene had a lot of meaning that I don't see people dig around with.

Essentially I'm pretty sure the fairy lights are obviously a throwback to their childhood together, spending time outside of Reggie. So the dance scene kind of symbolized that pocket of space they made for each other in their life (even if theyre far away, or with other people, they will always have that space for each other).

The way they danced was more like playfighting than dancing, which means their relationship isn't sensual. It's more ''pure'', and romantic. Its basically two kids rekindling their love as adults. I also think this is a response to the incest, cause in s1 tua klaus literally said that 'thank god Regg is not their real father' right before Allison and Luther meet lmao. So its kinda like saying Allison x Luther isnt supposed to be 'ohh step sibling hot' but two people who experienced the same trauma as kids and finding comfort with each other (and rekindling that love after many years).

[sheerbeautyreigns]

DESIRE

Part 35

Things get heated in Vegas.

Paul gently stroked Joe's cheek, hoping to wake him. He groaned, moving his head off Paul’s chest. “Baby,”

“Huh?” Joe moaned, keeping his eyes closed. “Let’s go to bed. It’s almost one.” Paul nudged him a little more urging him to get up. He was so cute when he was tired, eyes squinting, trying to avoid the light, his hair messy. He threw off the robe that he had been wearing and crawled in under the covers, closely followed by Paul. His face warmed seeing Joe immediately pull the covers up over his naked body. Paul lay behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist. Joe nodded off pretty quickly while Paul was just happy to lay holding him until he eventually drifted off.

It was almost 8:30 when Paul woke up. He rolled onto his back and looked to his left. Joe was lying on his stomach, head turned to face him. Strands, of hair had fallen in front of his face. Paul could just about see the fresh stitches on his temple. He knew it was a simple accident but it didn’t stop him being pissed off about it. That and the fact that he didn’t find out about the Wyatt attack until the last minute. He had to contain his anger sitting next to Vince watching it all unfold. He knew Joe could take it but he had become so protective of him in recent weeks that he would do anything in his position of power to give him anything. He could also see the fresh scratches and bruises that had appeared throughout his arms, side and back.

Paul had always found marks sexy but only when he was causing them. It made him think about the first time when he looked at Joe in a different way. It was back in 2014 when The Shield were up against Evolution at the Payback PPV. That time when he, Randy and Dave beat Joe with kendo sticks, followed by a steel chair. Not only that but the very next night when he was beaten with a steel chair. It turned him on immensely and he had been paying special attention to him since but he never made a move until after they got to know each other better during their 2016 feud.

“What are you thinking?” came Joe monotone voice against the pillow. Paul’s eyes trailed up to his. “Just looking at your battle scars.” A lazy smile crept across Joe face. “I dread to think what they look like this morning, much less feel.”

“At least you can rest until Sunday.” Paul said trailing his fingers gently down his spine, down to the base of his back. “I’ll need it.”

“It’ll be worth it baby, to see you with that title again. It’s been too long.” Paul re-assured him. Joe cast his eyes downwards. “It is what you want, isn’t it?”

Joe hesitated before answering. He turned on his side, wincing a little. “I just feel bad for Drew.” He pursed his lips. “I mean, it was meant for him wasn’t it?”

“Yeah but he doesn’t know that. It wasn’t fully decided until I spoke with creative.”

“He’s worked so hard for it-” Joe started. “Hey, look, we all know how hard he’s worked. He’ll get it one day but not just yet. It’s your time understand?” Joe really did feel troubled by this whole set up. He felt that this was just being given to him because of his relationship with Paul and he knew a few people would realise that. Joe always wanted to work for his title shots. “Do you understand?” Paul asked again. Joe nodded.

“I don’t want you overthinking this whole thing or losing sleep about it. Just rest up this week and do what you do best on Sunday.” Paul said placing a kiss on his lips before crawling out of bed, naked. Joe turned on his back and smiled, checking out his sweet ass as he went into the ensuite.

He listened as Paul ran the bath and thought about what he had just said. Seemed he would have this no other way. Joe himself agreed that he had busted his ass for almost a year with no sign of a title shot so true, it was his time. He just felt bad that he was getting in over Drew considering how well they had become acquainted in the last month.

Paul came out of the bathroom and came towards him. “I’m running you a nice relaxing bath baby. It’ll help, if only a little.” He said sitting at Joe’s side as he sat up. “You’re too good to me.” The young man told him. “It’s only temporary, while you’re hurt. Wait until I get you to my place next week.” Paul smirked with a dark glint in his eye. “Can’t wait.” His lips curved into a smile as Paul’s hand curved around the back of his neck and motioned him towards him for a slow, sensual kiss. Joe got up off the bed. “Check on the bath.” Paul advised, smacking him on the ass.

Joe eyebrows furrowed as he checked out his back in the bathroom mirror. It was as bad as he thought it would be. Hopefully creative didn’t have any nasty surprises in store for him come Sunday.

Carefully he eased himself into the bath. The heat of the water increased the pain in his back initially but he started to feel more relaxed as he lay back. He cupped the water in his hands, releasing it onto his chest and lay with his head back, eyes closed. It was so relaxing, he almost fell asleep again. Paul appeared at the door. His face softened when he saw Joe in the tub. He looked so peaceful. He couldn’t imagine wanting to hurt him like he’d done in the past but maybe he’d feel different in a week.

Paul watched with pride as the referee counted 1, 2, 3 when Joe pinned Bray. A huge smile spread across his face as the referee handed him the Universal Title. Joe was so overcome with emotion as he took hold of the belt. He had worked so hard for this and had just taken part in one of the hardest fought and best matches of his career. He felt banged up, still sore from the attack on Raw but he didn’t care.

His eyes met Paul’s first as he arrived backstage. Paul nodded at him with a smile just as he was bombarded by the other wrestlers congratulating him. Once he worked his way through the crowd, he got to Vince, who was almost on the verge of tears as he hugged him and finally Paul, who pulled him into a bear hug. “So proud of you.” Was all he said. Joe knew he was just keeping things low key as not to draw any attention. There would be plenty of time for talk later. All Joe wanted to do now was shower. He made his way, with his belt to the men’s locker room. A few of the guys were already in there, Colby, Tom, Matthew, Claudio, Kevin and Drew. Joe immediately went over to Drew and hugged him. “What a match!” Drew said with a smile, clearly glad that it was over. “You guys put on a hell of a show.” Claudio chimed in, putting his arms around both men. “We must celebrate!” He said throwing his arms up in the air. The others agreed, even Colby. Joe only had plans to go back to the Venetian with Paul. “Whaddya say Joe?” Drew asked. He couldn’t deny that smile. “Sounds a plan.” He said giving in. He barely ever went out for drinks with the guys and they were in Vegas. He grabbed his phone from his bag and quickly called Paul.

“What’s up?” Joe hated interrupting him while he was working. “Listen, some of the guys want to take me out for drinks. They kinda goaded me into it. Do you mind?” Paul was quiet for a moment. “No problem babe, I’ll be here another while anyway and you deserve it. Where are you guys going?”

“I’m not sure yet, somewhere on the Strip I’m sure. It’ll only be for two or three anyway.”

“OK cool, let me know where you end up.”

“Love you.” Joe told him to which Paul replied “Love you too.”

Everyone agreed go to the Dorsey at The Venetian since it was central Strip. They all freshened up and agreed to meet there around eleven. While Joe was changing into a his black suit and black shirt, he heard the door open. Paul was early. “Look at you.” He cooed seeing how good Joe looked. He rarely got to see him in a suit. “Makes me wanna keep you here.” He said pulling him in for a kiss. “I won’t be late. Just thought it’d be nice since we’re in Vegas. You wanna join us? We’re just actually going to the Dorsey downstairs.”

“Aww babe, I”d love to but its been a long day so I’ll just have a drink here.”

“You sure?” Joe checked. “Yeah, I’m good. Who’s out anyway?” He asked. “Kevin, Tom, Matthew, Claudio, Drew and Colby. Just a few of us.” Paul pulled away. Joe could see the look change on Paul’s face. He placed his hands on his hips. “I thought you and Colby were no longer on speaking terms?” Joe shifted. “Well, there’s just the odd hello here and there. It’s kinda unavoidable since we work together.” Joe tried to reason with him.

“Doesn’t sound like it.” Paul said. He looked annoyed. “Claudio just suggested drinks when we were all in the locker room. I could hardly say no?” Paul walked out of the bedroom into the living room area with Joe in pursuit “Look, I should’ve told you when I first mentioned drinks but I…” Paul stopped and turned to face him “You what?” Joe backed away a little “I was worried you might be annoyed.” The young man was frustrated. “You’re right. I am. I specifically asked you not to get involved with him-”

“We’re just going for drinks with friends. That’s all! Don’t you trust me?” Joe asked, searching his eyes. Paul’s eyebrow furrowed “Don’t you?” Joe asked again, his eyes starting to look a little glassy. Joe swallowed, backing away and going back into the bedroom. Paul’s look said it all. He could hear Joe starting to gather his things in the ensuite. “What are you doing?” Paul asked coming into the bedroom. “You clearly don’t trust me so I’m done.” Joe was visibly upset. “I’m sorry baby. Don’t go-” He said grabbing Joe arm. “No, not this time. I was so fucking stupid to think I could try this again.” He said zipping up his bag. He was angry now. Paul grabbed his arm again, this time not letting him go. “Look, look! I’m sorry I upset you. You know how I feel about Colby.”

“There’s nothing going on. I can’t believe you don’t trust me with him.” At that moment, Joe phone rang. He took it out of his pocket. It was Drew. Paul eyed the phone before Joe answered. “Hey, I’m just held up a little. I’ll be down soon.”

Paul took a few steps back. “Y’know what? You do what you want. See if I care.” Joe scowled at him before grabbing his bag and leaving the room. He was seething. He blinked his eyes hard as he walked towards the elevators, trying to ward off tears. Luckily, reception was quiet since it was Sunday night and he was able to get himself a room. He quickly dropped his bag off and went down to the bar. The guys were all sat around a table in the corner. “About time!” Tom announced as he approached the table. “Sorry guys!” Joe apologised forcing a smile. “Have some champagne! Time to celebrate!” Claudio said, already filling a glass for Joe. They all toasted to his win and a good night for them all in general.

“Where’s Paul?” Drew asked whilst the others were all chatting amongst themselves. “He’s upstairs.” Joe simply said, taking a swig of his beer. “Didn’t care to join us for a drink?”

“You know what he’s like. Anyway, I don’t wanna talk about him.” Joe called to the passing bartender “Can I get another round?” The bartender got to work immediately. Drew looked Joe over. Something seemed off, like he was hiding something.

An hour passed and everyone was moderately drunk. Joe was in mild conversation with Colby when his phone rang. Colby could see it was Paul, just before Joe put it away. “Aren’t you gonna get that?”

“No, It’s fine.” Joe shrugged. “Listen man, tell me if I’m out of line but…you seem different tonight. Are things OK with you and Paul?” He asked cautiously so the others wouldn’t hear. “No, they’re not.” He said before sighing. “Do you want to talk about it?” Joe looked him in the eyes “Actually, no. I just wanna have a good time with you guys and forget about it.” Colby backed up “It’s cool man, whatever you want.”

It was around 1am when the guys decided to call it a night and go to their respective hotels. “Hang on for a moment.” Joe told Colby as the others left.

“I didn’t want to come off as a dick earlier. You know that’s not me.” Joe started apologising as they stood in the lobby area. “Hey man it’s all good. Despite what’s happened between us over the past month or so, you know I’m always here for you.”

“Appreciate it man. Where are you staying?” Joe asked. “Here. I’ve never stayed here before, thought I’d treat myself.”

“Well It’s been a long day. I’m shattered.” Joe said as they walked towards the elevators. “At least were here tomorrow for Raw so can chill for a bit.”

“Well, this is me.” Joe said as they stopped at the 10th floor. “You gonna be OK? I don’t mind keeping you company…” Colby offered. Joe eyes trailed in his direction as the elevator stopped and the doors opened. He didn’t need to say anything. Colby stepped out into the hallway and walked to Joe’s room in silence. Nothing had been touched. It just looked like he’d left his suitcase in and came down to the bar which meant that he had probably been in Paul’s room beforehand.

Joe closed the room door behind them and set the key card aside. Colby walked into the living room area and looked out the window, taking in the night view. Joe followed, taking off his jacket and setting it on the back of the chair. Quietly he moved behind Colby and placed his hand on his right shoulder, urging him to turn around. Without a word, he kissed him gently on the lips. Colby reciprocated momentarily but moved away slowly. “What’s the matter?” Joe asked. “I don’t want to regret this.”

“You won’t.” He leaned in to kiss him again, more forceful this time. “Joe, please-”

“I thought you wanted this?” Joe searched his eyes. “I do but, you’re drunk…pissed off with Paul. I just…you’ve gotta understand where I’m coming from?” Colby was being reasonable. Joe moved away, lowering to the sofa. “I do. It’s not fair on you man.” Colby joined him on the sofa. “Do you mind me asking what happened?”

“Things got a little rocky a couple of weeks ago when I went to stay at his in Connecticut so I left earlier than I had planned. I thought that was it but last Friday, we talked and ended up spending the weekend together in Denver.”

“When I told him I was going for drinks tonight, he was fine at first but he got pissed off when he heard you would be there.” Colby rolled his eyes “It’s just drinks with friends. What does he think is gonna happen between us?” Colby shook his head in amusement. “He doesn’t trust me when it comes to you and I can’t live like that. I had to make a choice.”

“So that’s why you walked out tonight?” Colby pursed his lips. “Yeah. I had enough.” Joe let out an exasperated sigh. “I’m just tired man.” Joe leaned forward and lowered his head into his hands. Colby could see that he was starting to cry. He moved closer and put his arms around Joe “Aww man, don’t cry.” Joe buried his head into his friends shoulder and sobbed quietly. “I hate to see you like this.” He stroked the back of his neck, gently rocking him. Joe moved away, rubbing his eyes. “I’m sorry. I just feel like a mess.” Colby took hold of his shoulders. “Listen to me. I don’t want to see you upset. You’re not a mess. You’re a brilliant man and my best friend. You deserve the best.” Joe blinked and nodded. He felt ashamed. He didn’t want Colby to see him like this. “Just get some sleep man.” Joe nodded standing up. He stood up and got undressed down to his boxers while Colby pulled back the covers on the bed and moved the cushions aside. Joe brushed his teeth and came back into the bedroom. Colby forced a smile. “Will you stay a while. Just until I fall asleep? I don’t wanna be alone.” Joe as asked timidly.

“Of course.” He nodded. Joe got into the bed and watched as he undressed, neatly setting his shirt and trousers aside before turning off the lights. The room was now bathed on a red glow, coming from the nearby Hi-Roller outside. Colby climbed in next to Joe, who was lying on his back, eyes lowered to his chest. Colby moved closer, allowing Joe to lean his head into his chest for comfort. He placed his hand on Joe abdomen. There was something so soothing lying with Colby, hearing his light breaths and feeling his heartbeat that it didn’t take Joe long to nod off.

Joe awoke around nine the following morning. The room was bright since the curtains hadn’t been drawn. He had been lying in the same position as he had fallen asleep in. Colby started to stir, moving his head. He groaned, opening his eyes slowly.

“What time is it?” He asked groggily. Joe grabbed his phone from the night stand. “It’s just gone nine. Thanks for staying.“ Joe turned in to face him. “No worries. You feeling a bit better?” Colby asked, stroking his cheek. “Rested. So glad we don’t have to travel today.”

“I know. What are you gonna do?” Colby asked, stroking Joe forearm. “I don’t know. I never made plans. I normally just chill with Paul.”

“Why don’t we go somewhere for a big breakfast. There’s a place I’ve been to before called the Peppermill. Wanna go there?”

“A big breakfast sounds perfect about now.” His stomach rumbled at the thought. Colby laughed upon hearing it. His hand trailed down to Joe stomach where he tickled him. Joe laughed aloud, squirming, trying to fight him off as Colby climbed on top of him, continuing to tickle him. He grabbed Joe by the wrists and pinned him to the mattress. Joe could feel his cock getting very hard as Colby did this.

“What are you gonna do now?” he teased, lowering his head closer to Joe. Their eyes met. Without hesitation, Joe lifted his head off the pillow and kissed Colby. Within seconds, they were entangled in a passionate kiss, hands roaming each others bodies, scrambling to take their boxers off. Joe rolled over onto his stomach, arching himself up on his knees. Colby climbed behind him and prized his ass cheeks apart, leaned forward and started to tease his opening with his tongue. Joe moaned at the warm wet feeling. “So good…” He looked behind and all he could see was Colby’s head buried in his ass. He dripped his saliva around the opening and lined the head of his cock up with the opening of Joe’s hole. He eased his way in as Joe lowered his head, breathing deeply. In no time their bodies were rocking the bed, slowly at first, then becoming more steady as Colby picked up the pace. “Aaaah fuck. Jesus!” Joe let out, trying to maintain his balance. All Joe could hear was the slamming of Colby”s balls every time he thrust into him along with his grunts. He sure had stamina when it came to fucking. Colby gripped his pelvis tightly, steadying him as he came hard in his ass. Joe buried his head into the pillows below as Colby shuddered behind him breathlessly. He eventually released Joe, rolling back onto his heels. He watched as Joe rolled over onto his back, strands of hair strewn across his damp forehead. He smiled lazily at Colby, watching as he leaned down to kiss him.

“I don’t know about you but I need food.” Colby said getting off the bed. “I’m gonna go freshen up in my room and I’ll meet you at like 10:30 in the Lobby?”

“Sounds perfect.” Joe said getting off the bed. He followed Colby to the door. “Hey.” Colby turned around. “Thanks man.” Joe kissed him again before letting him leave. Joe smiled to himself as he walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He went to the bedside to plug in his phone. He pursed his lips upon seeing a couple of unread WhatsApp messages from Paul. A horrible feeling invaded the pit of his stomach as he opened them.

11:30pm - I’m sorry about tonight. I do trust you. I don’t want to lose you again.

8:45am – Hope you’re OK? I want to make things better. Can we talk?

Joe exhaled setting the phone down and went to take his shower. All he could think of was that it was too late for Paul to say he trusted him. Why didn’t he say it to his face last night? Again, Paul had him wrecking his brain. He didn”t know how things might pan out with Colby since he was known to sleep around. He probably wouldn’t want anything serious. It was too soon anyway. He decided he was gonna just play it cool in the meantime and see how things pan out.

When he came back into the bedroom, his phone had just stopped ringing. It was Paul. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

One thing that was certain, Paul wasn’t the type to give up on something so easily. He would probably see him this evening for Raw and part of him wanted to get this over with.

“I was wondering if I’d hear from you at all.” Paul started. “I’m not long up.” Joe said walking over to the window. “Good night?” Joe hated this small talk. “Yeah, was a nice change.” There was a moment of silence. “Are you at the Venetian still?” Paul asked.

“Yeah.” Joe started pacing around the room.

“Can I see you?” Paul eventually asked. “I have to head out soon.”

“When you’re free?” Paul pushed. “OK. I should be around one.” Joe told him. He was already dreading this conversation. “OK come up to my room.” Paul said before ending the call.

[justkindaoverhereobsessing]

2020 IN WRITING

tagged by: @indestinatus​

tagging: no one, because I am unable to think straight. But whoever is interested in doing this: I’m interested in reading it. <3 

Wow, okay, I’m getting real in this little questionnaire... read at your own risk, friends.

1. List of works published this year:

I genuinely can’t write them all out here... there are too many of them! (I’ve done so little besides writing this year!) But I keep a running list of all my projects here. I’m sorry for cheating on this one, haha. 

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

This question comes up a lot on these things, and I always put the same answer: That We May Forgive. It’s has emotional moments, silly moments, heartfelt moments where the warmth made me cry as I wrote. It was written in one sitting, and it’s the story where I felt most connected to the characters I love so much. It sums up the joy I feel knowing that these (fictional) friends of mine have finally reached peace after too many years of trauma and hardship. I began the story with a single line in mind, after which the characters took over and told the story for me:

Ziva's second pregnancy is nothing like her first.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

You Stumble, You Soar, which was written for one of my dearest friends in the world, @why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee​. I wanted to do so much better by her, but as I ran out of time to complete the story by the end of her birthday, I rushed the writing and I think the story suffered for it. It made her happy, though, and that’s the most important thing. She deserves all the happiness, all the time—but especially on her birthday. 

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I can’t think of a favorite excerpt of my writing, because I’ve written so much that I can’t think back!

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

“Wow. Let me just tell you that I am absolutely in love with this story. I wake up everyday and, as I log into fanfiction, my only hope is that you've uploaded a new chapter because DAMN. The characters are so well written, the story is beautifully constructed and this last chapter just broke my heart into tiny little pieces. What a remarkable job you've done. Please, don't ever stop writing NCIS/Tiva fanfiction- specially this one story: it's one of my all time favorites. Thank you :)”

An incredibly kind and inspiring comment by a reader named Alexandra on my longest (WIP) fic, We Are an Ocean.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I’ve had two periods of NCIS hiatus this year—and actually, I’m still in the midst of the second one right now. These have periods of turmoil in my own life. When I’m upset, feeling sick, feeling sorry for myself and I’m depressed and aching... that’s when I write the best, because writing is my safety blanket. When I’m feeling numb, though, or lost... the characters are lost to me, too, and so are the words I use to wrap them (and myself) in comfort.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I’m going to deviate here from NCIS, which is—I’m well aware—why most of my followers have chosen to follow me. But in the last month, I’ve written a single fic for Criminal Minds—it’s called In Possibility, it’s unpublished, and it’s now over 100,00 words. It’s centered on Spencer Reid, who was intimidating to me when I started writing the fic. He’s far more intelligent than I am, requiring me to do a lot of research to give him realistic lines, he’s a deep and complicated character with complicated motivations and a tangled, traumatic past. He also has a sweet, really good heart that’s been scarred by years of difficult work and an emotionally taxing personal life. 

I thought he’d be difficult to write; to my surprise, he comes as naturally to me as any of my other favorite characters ever have. He gave me my first nanowrimo win! To be frank, he’s gotten me through a lot of shit this year. That was the best surprise.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

To be honest, I wasn’t much of a writer before this year. I enjoyed writing, especially in a roleplay setting with fandom friends... but I deeply struggled with trying to write alone. I didn’t do much of it.

Then, this year, well... the concept of writing exploded into the most important distraction, escape, and joy I could imagine. 

I didn’t grow as a writer this year. I became a writer this year.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

My most recent project—the one that, as I’ve said, is (and will remain) unpublished—has given me a new perspective. It’s written for an audience of me and only me... so I’ve given myself permission to engage in the most ridiculously self-indulgent writing I’ve ever embraced and thrown myself into. 

And it has been the greatest joy I could imagine in a time of great pain.* 

Next year, I want to throw myself into every project I work on with as much reckless abandon as I’ve done in this last project. I want to stop worrying so much about what people will think and pursue the words that are bursting out of the fingers on my laptop keyboard. I want to have confidence in my ability to draw out emotions—if from no one else, at least from myself.

“If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.” —Emily Dickinson

And it’s alright if that one heart is mine.

That’s what I want to accomplish in my writing next year, and what a growth that would be!

* I’ve mentioned this in my last post, but I’m recovering from brain surgery, I also have the COVID-19 virus, and I’m working on passing a kidney stone that may be too big to pass. I’m writing 10,000 words a day to get through it—and it’s working. Distraction is everything to me right now.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Like Sof, I have to tag three people here, because I really couldn’t choose just one. My three best friends in the world all influenced my writing in their own ways! <3 (Sorry for deviating a little from the writing thing in some of the following lines, oops. I just have emotions that are all over the place this week!)

@indestinatus — One of a few best friends who has had my back every day for so long now. She listens when I need to talk things out—whether or not I’m talking about writing. She really gets me when I need to be silly, or I need to be serious, or I just really, really need a friend. Also, she inspired me to start learning Portuguese this year, and I’m actually practicing by writing a fic in Portuguese, lol. It’s slow going... but Sof encourages me (and corrects me, haha) whenever I work on it, just as she does with absolutely anything else I work on. Truly, I’ve had few friends in my life that are so special to me, and I love her. I really do. 

@why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee — Is there a better cheerleader on this earth? Is there a better friend? Doubtful on both counts. She thinks I’m a disaster—and, by the way, she’s absolutely right—and she sometimes has to remind me to eat and sleep, but she’s totally cool with being my internet mom. Doesn’t matter that she’s nearly a decade younger than I am, lol. All of these things have bolstered me when the writer inside of me has faltered, and she has carried my burdens as I wrote them out. Anyway, she reads everything I write, and she has requested to gain access to all of my unfinished chapters and unpublished works in the event that I die—I completely trust her with that nonsense. I’ve written it into my will. Really. Like with Sof, I genuinely love Tiz, and I’d do anything for her. 

@honeybadgerdocare — Best friend of 20 years. She doesn’t watch the same shows that I do, and my endless ranting makes very little sense to her... but she listens. She’s my sounding board for everything I write, everything I read, everything I watch, and everything that gives me big feelings. I genuinely can’t describe how much she has helped me with my writing every single day, so I’ll leave it at this: I could not do it without her. I’d drown in my own struggles and I’d stop creating the art that sustains me. She’s my soulmate—sorry to her fiancé. All of my love goes to her!

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

HAHAHAHAHA it’s cute how you think my writing is anything other than a re-organized and fictionalized version of my life and my feelings. Real life shows up in my writing, and my writing shows up in my real life. It gets crazy and obsessive, but like... I had a trip to Israel booked this year (obviously canceled due to the pandemic, but still) because Ziva comes from Israel. (Also because of my Jewish adoration for the spiritual homeland, but the thought of going and the trip planning all started with Ziva.) I went to Baltimore so I could run down an alley yelling “YOU CAN’T OUTRUN ME, I’M WEARING TUBE SOCKS!” to encourage my inner Tony DiNozzo. I nearly froze to death in Washington, D.C. and called my mom every time I saw a little red mini coop that looked like Ziva’s, or came across a place that was featured in an NCIS scene.

And to answer the actual question here, because I obviously flipped it around like the moron I am... when the pandemic canceled things I was desperately looking forward to, I wrote a fic where Tali’s excitedly anticipated dance recital got canceled because of the pandemic. I lost my appendix (last year, but the fic was written this year — does that count?) and wrote a fic where Tali loses hers, too. (I swear, I don’t always write things that torture Tali, lol, these are just my best examples!) When I lost a couple of loved ones this year, I wrote a funeral scene where Tony and Tali remembered Ziva. Writing is definitely free therapy, y’all.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write for yourself—write what you love, and you’ll love what you write. That’s all. That’s it. That’s my advice, something I’ve learned this year.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’ve been working on We Are an Ocean for roughly a year now, and 2021 needs to see it finished. I’ve got a number of lovely, dedicated readers who deserve to see the story play out as it’s intended to be played out. 

Also, my greatest love right now, In Possibility, will probably write itself to an end in 2021. Or... who knows? Maybe it will worm its way into 2022, too. :-)

14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year:

Since I already went into detail about my favorite fic of mine from this year (That We May Forgive), I’ll recommend a different one: The Stars Always Make Me Laugh. It has some of the darkest moments I’ve ever written, but it also has some of the lightest moments I’ve ever written. It was an answer to two different challenges, and if I can say this without sounding arrogant, I think I met the challenges beautifully. It gave me comfort, catharsis, and closure for a few things in my own life... and I hope it comforts my readers, too. 

15. Year word count: 

HOLY FUCKING SHIT (excuse my French). I just added up my AO3 word count + my current unpublished project, and... my word count is:

428,557.

FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY SEVEN WORDS

I nearly just fell out of my chair. Goodbye, friends. I am deceased.

[the-hs-etaverse]

OKAY HEAR ME OUT

Meat!Calliope is writing the Candy narrative.

This got ridiculously protracted, so here's the tl;dr. Because of their classpect as Muse of Space, their connection to the Homestuck fandom and fan works in general, and the absolute ridiculosity of the Candy timeline, it’s evident that Meat!Calliope scribbling art on their walls in the Epilogues is them composing the Candy timeline itself. A more in-depth explanation is below the cut.

First of all, here’s the proof that Calliope at least seems to have awareness of Candy:

In essence, Meat!Calliope has been drawing a) Gamzee’s blood and various nudity, and b) cute ship fulfillment. Both of these are things that occur most notably in Candy. Now, this could imply two things: 1) Calliope somehow knows what’s going on in Candy and is transcribing it, or 2) Calliope is somehow authoring, through their drawings, the events of Candy. My money’s on the latter. Why? Because of how oddly-written (for lack of a better word) the Candy route is.

Like, I know Roxy is going through Gender Troubles when she says “lets get married!!!” to John but, like, who just SAYS that? Under what circumstances would somebody just say “Hey we’ve been dating for like two months and it’s a funeral right now but LET’S GET FRIGGIN’ MARRIED RIGHT NOW HOW ABOUT THAT”? I mean, it’s not an uncommon situation for people to get married ridiculously soon after meeting each other, and they’ve known each other for years, but still. It reeks of chitzy fanfiction tropes.

The entirety of Candy does, actually, aside from the Dirkapitation. There’s the picture-perfect Rosemary relationship, which is miraculously not thrown into turmoil by the revelation of the existence of Yiffy (which is in of itself an absolutely ludicrous development, especially how it’s been kept a secret). You’d think Kanaya would at the very least have been SOMEWHAT irate, if not about the “we-had-what-amounts-to-a-one-night-stand” part, then at least about the “I-hid-this-secret-from-you-for-FIFTEEN-YEARS-somehow” part, but no!

There’s the Johnroxy dynamic, which would have been just as picture-perfect as Rosemary except for John being the “only sane man” of sorts, the only one who seems to realise how fake his life is, and the one who undermines their relationship. And yet they’re STILL on good terms! And there’s a heartwarming reunion and everything! It’s like the narrative is actively working against John’s hope that SOMEthing, ANYthing about this place could be imperfect!

There’s the Jade and Jake part, which is an exercise in “we-shall-make-a-protagonist-into-a-villain-because-CONFLICT”. I understand why everybody’s upset about that. And because of the Rule of Cautious Editing Judgment, I will say no more on the subject. But then there’s Jake, who’s been henpecked to heck and back, but still has a heartwarming “I WANT TO BREAK FREEEEEE” bit, so things are looking up for him and his son. SOMEHOW.

And there’s a war, but nobody’s in any actual threat of harm from said war.

Oh, right, and Gamzee. He’s living his best life, too. Well, he was, but then he got beaten to deadness which now means everybody else is now living their best lives. So, yeah, the compromise occurred. And, of course, the author gets to milk some kink fuel (pun intended, regretfully so).

Also, Candy!Calliope just up and vanishes from the narrative after Alt!Calliope makes her grand entrance into Candy. Jury’s out on the significance of that.

And finally, there’s the Jade and Dave and Karkat thing. It kind of implies that the author didn’t know how to resolve the relationship conflict (without pulling an OT3) in such a way that everybody would be happy. So, boom, surprise Obama so that Dave can be happy, and surprise Meenah so that Karkat can be slightly less grumpy, and, uh, uh, hm.

Didn’t Alt!Calliope tell Jade that Space players need to make sacrifices in Chapter 6? So it makes sense that she’s now Forever Alone, I suppose, and it makes even MORE sense if Meat!Calliope is vaguely aware of this notion that their alternate self has.

All in all, the Candy timeline, according to a post I saw a little while ago, consists of the Homestucks reacting in-character to situations they ended up in while acting very out-of-character. Just like a poorly-contrived fanfiction. Just like something Callie would write.

Oh, right, and then there are the ghosts. Here’s the kicker: how did the ghosts (and Vriska, and Meenah) get to Candy!Earth in the first place? Through the black hole. That Alt!Calliope created. Heck, the entirety of Candy!Earth is in the black hole, that Alt!Calliope created! And when did Meat!Calliope start doing their eerily prophetic artwork? After they encountered Alt!Calliope.

Also? What’s Callie’s classpect? The Muse of Space. The Nine Muses, in Greek mythology, were the font of inspiration from which all stories sprung. Calliope, in particular, was the Muse of Epic Poetry. According to Hussie, Homestuck is “a s***post epic” (re: the video I reblogged a few days ago). Callie is rewriting reality and is the inspiration of the Candy space.

And Calliope is a representation of the fandom. What’s Homestuck^2? A fan-centred continuation. It’s literally called a fanwork in the FAQ.

All I’m saying is, the evidence seems to point towards Meat!Calliope, whether knowingly or not, having authorship over the Candy timeline. Dirk and Alt!Calliope are the narrators of Meat, but, as people have asked, who’s the narrator of Candy? It’s Meat!Calliope. It’s their black hole. It’s their domain. It’s their story.

[runearcana]

Reasons I am Terezi:

My soon to be deadname sounds like Terezi.

I have an absurdly long tongue. 

I look and dress like Terezi. [my hair ends up short, and when I straighten it, it always has a curve at the ends like hers. Ive always thought I look like a female version of Karkat and even tried to be more like him.] I primarily wear black t-shirts with nerdy images.

I love mysteries, solving them, and have a knack for knowing the law on an intuitive level.

I had a best fuckin friend forever that I did everything with. We called ourselves the Greythorne Sisters. I was Wither and she was Malice. [telling much?]

When I broke up with her, I.. used my very strong foresight and saw that there would be issues if we stayed friends. Karkat also encouraged me to do it and was outside when I went through with it. After I told her, she literally crumpled, and I hugged her one last time. She didnt expect it at all. ._.

I went insane with regret and self-hatred afterwards.

My ultimate crush looked, acted, and spoke [yelled] EXACTLY like Karkat.

The reason I got into Homestuck was because I was incredibly shocked at how his likeness was captured in the fan art, and even the official art. EVERYTHING is the same except he has grey-blue eyes, caucasion skin color, lacks horns. Everything else is the same. He sounds most like a more masculine version of Broadway Karkat. Very wicked and masculine voice. Extremely intimidating guy despite his size. [hes not short, just shorter than youd expect someone with a cocky personality like his.]

Karkat even called us the Scourge Sisters. 

He hated Vriska. He was jealous of her as well, as anyone interested in me would have been.

I loved Karkat, more than anyone except Vriska, but my self-esteem was too low to believe he legitimately cared about me. On some level I knew he cared about me, but I was too BLIND to see it.

I didnt know I loved Vriska more than Karkat until I had already lost her. v.v

Vriska and I had a serious BDSM relationship [kismesis] after being moirails a very long time. We should have stayed moiraills. :[ It was really my fault that she acted the way she acted.

I am an empath and I can legitimately taste peoples energies. 

I may as well be blind because my eyesight is useless to me without glasses.

My favorite color isnt red, its TEAL, but I have a crazy fetish for fiery guys.

Libra ascendant, which is funny because A. your ascendant was your sign in a previous life, and B. its the realm of your PERSONALITY. [Sun is about your life path and moon is about emotions. :P]

I am creepy and cute [or was when I identified as female]. I love scaring the shit out of people. >:]

I like 1337, but I refuse to type that way all the time even though quirks are awesome conceptually. I mean if I could program the computer to remember my quirk, itd be different, but that isnt a thing yet. Itd definitely spice the internet up much more. :]

I still play with plushies and whatevers at hand and draw with chalk.

I adore dragons and see myself as one because I was born in the year of the dragon. :P

I like to cosplay, and wear capes pretty often. 

Dave is someone I cared about a great deal. He had a crush on me, but I saw him as a brother. Dirk is a total piece of shit and hurt Dave and Karkat and its why they have so much in common. He IS Daves bro. Dave sort of sticks up for him and Dirk has clueless followers. 

Gamzee was a best friend of mine like Dave and we technically had a kismisitude relationship. Gamzee told me Karkat was his best friend but I didnt know it was mutual. He was very upset that Gamzee and I were kinda together.

One night I was sitting at the end of Vriskas bed, thinking she was asleep, and trying not to wake her up with blowing my nose. She was awake and spooked and said she thought I was cackling like a maniac at the end of the bed like a creep. I thought it was pretty much a good assessment.

Another time she told me that while I was asleep, she saw an *evil* me with a sharp toothed grin and grey skin. It didnt seem improbable to me.

John is my biological brother. Hes a Virgo sun, and hes a nerd. :] Hes the only person beside my dad and aunt I talk to. [lots of friends I have, lol.]

Rose is a c*nt but I was fascinated with her for some reason. Rose hates Homestuck because of the fanbase. [lolll]

Kanaya is her sister, not gf/wife. Shes cool, and a reasonable person and was a friend, but we didnt talk much. I dont know why really.. x.x

Aradia was my best friend before Vriska. She and Sollux are married. I had a crush on her hsband and it was awkward.

Equius is an ex. Longest relationship Ive been in was with him.

Eridan is as much of a insufferable asshat as he is in the series, but not good looking in the slightest. He can be.. surprisingly insightful at times. None of us like him, even us INFPs. [Dave and I.]

I see Aranea as my mother. Talks non-stop, ruins lives.. but I used to look up to her.

Calliope was a fellow dragon lover friend that Dave introduced me to. Her handle was Celestial Serpent and she is even more asexual than I am. :]

My friends saw my and Karkats connection as being more like Karkats and Nepetas. He treated me like I was autistic and mostly ignored me. Probably until I confessed to him, and then after I went crazy because I had lost Vriska, and hoped that I could rely on him to be there for me. but despite all that bravado cockiness of his, hes a total wimp. ._.] Karkat and I had a ridiculously brief unspoken relationship that was only through telepathic communication and I got beyond frustrated and kissed a woman, and it was over like that. No one knows about this but us. Its another thing that I have ruminated on and hated myself for and deeply regretted.

I envy gamer girls who are actually good at games and wish I could be more confident and popular. v.v; [Latula]

I had a character on Gaiaonline with the Chucku Norisu scarf and the winged staff item and people drew freebie art of it for me, and when I looked at my pictures after learning about Homestuck it was pretty crazy.

Vriska [best artist I know] drew a character that looked a lot like Terezi that I had liked a lot.

I was very isolated when I was young. Neglected by my parents for the most part and felt too different from other humans. I always wanted a tree house and bulit my own club house that I hung out in as a kid.

My friends pretty much unfairly looked down on and even despised Vriska except Gamzee.

I love the taste and sight of blood. [Im a sadist.]

Dave made a proposition that he, me and Karkat be in a poly relationship and I turned it down. [I did not want to share Karkles with ANYONE. I know in the comic Dave actually disliked the idea, but the poly thing came up with the three of us. I dont know if Karkat was cool with it or not because he always used Dave as our go-between, but if Dave made the offer it must have been Karkat approved. Asshole. -.-]

Karkat and Dave live together and are more than likely morails. Karkat isnt attracted to Dave, but Dave has said he is attracted to Karkat.

I had a dragon umbrella that looked like a cane that I loved a lot.

Karkat is pretty much the unofficial group leader, or at least he was in my opinion. I could see Sollux saying Id make a better leader, though, because Im more clear-headed and calm about things and people from that group respected me [more than I was aware of].

We are all connected somehow.. but the main group consisted of Dave, Gamzee, Rose, Kanaya, me [Terezi], Karkat, and a few people I didnt see as characters from Homestuck. Vriska was not allowed to hang out with us at first. When she finally got her freedom [with my help] she wouldnt hang with the group, and they saw her as taking me away from them. They thought she treated me poorly, but she really didnt. -.- [Vriska did nothing wrong, theyre all just jerks.]

I dont hang out or talk to any of them anymore except John. Im always finding myself reminiscing and I really just wish I could forget I ever met them so I could start over fresh.

I have a spirit guide that is a DRAGON and teaches me anything Id like to know, especially in esoteric matters. His name is Shadowfall Ryu. Ryu is Japanese for Dragon. [lusus] and I agonize that I dont know him irl. Everyone knows about him. I have drawn so much art of him and talked about him so much. He is my ideal self. [i know the lusus in the comics is female, but whatever. Its still interesting.]

I collect dragon stuff, including plushies. I still play with them and wish others would play with me.

List goes on and on.

I cant make this stuff up.

[igottoomuchwriting]

Speak Now by Taylor Swift but it’s Klaus and Dave

Totally based off the scene where Peter tells Dave that he would marry a girl just because he wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings in my series (”Dave lives and is a mechanic AU” on Archive of our Own)

Dave would propose to a girl because he is really missing his family and he thinks that if he marries a woman they will let him back in (side note I will totally have a story on what I think Dave’s past is before he met Klaus). Klaus and he had a thing and he broke up with Klaus to get with this woman.

Klaus goes to the wedding with Peter as his plus one because Peter cannot go to this wedding alone but he can’t miss it because he and Dave are best friends. Klaus and Peter hang in the back because they want to watch everything without drawing attention to themselves. Klaus is obviously upset watching everything going on while he is still in love Dave.

The ceremony starts and Dave is standing at the alter, looking nervous and is looking around the room. The bride starts walking down the aisle and Klaus feels anger while watching. Peter tells him that he can’t believe that Dave is doing this because he is obviously not happy and no one in the room can tell because Dave is really good at hiding his emotions. Peter says he wishes there was a way that they could stop this.

And then when the preacher says “does anyone oppose to this marriage?” Klaus stands up because he can’t sit here and watch the man he loves marry a girl he knows Dave only loves as a friend and Peter is watching like holy shit I forgot Klaus doesn’t give a shit about other people.

And Dave sees the true love of his life asking him why he is doing this, if it is actually worth it, if he wants to do this, and everyone is like “wtf is this druggie saying of course he wants to do this” and Dave stares at Klaus and his bride. Dave’s bride is about to tell her friends to get this guy out and Dave is like “why am I doing this?? Do I really want to do this and pretend to be happy with a woman I don’t love just so my family can accept me again?????” And he takes one look at his sister and she looks at his bride and raises an eyebrow, basically asking him “why are you doing this? It’s not worth it”

Next thing everyone knows Dave is running down the aisle away from the alter and he grabs Klaus’ hand and says “run” and they burst out the doors, booking it so no one can catch them while laughing. Peter stands up and watches in horror as they actually run away because he decided to become friends with idiots. Members of both Dave and the bride’s family look at him with anger and he just waves going “welp, this was fun, your gorgeous btw (bride’s name)” and then quickly runs out of the chapel.

Please I thought this and I thought it would be so funny and cute and sad and just so many emotions.

[rosywaifu]

Natsu Dragneel Headcanon ~ Shy S/O

Hello, this is for @dave-vantas-69 ~ Natsu with a shy S/O

So first of all, he loves you a lot, no matter what

he’s flamboyant enough for the both of you

Whenever you get upset in social settings, he’ll let you draw patterns into his hand or arms with a finger or a pen. 

he’s always quick to defend you, whether you want it or not

he loves to play with your hair and it’s become a bit of a relaxant for you- a reminder that he’s always there for you

Happy is basically your emotional support cat. 

he’s always there for you to pet or hold to comfort you, and he loves it. He’s always down to be pampered and brushed, especially by you. 

Whenever you have a panic attack at the guild because of the rambunctious antics, he is already escorting you out of the guild in order to calm you down. 

he’s going to be there for you whenever you need him, even if that means leaving you alone for a little while. But, he’ll be back in a few hours holding your favorite ice cream, a movie and two spoons. 

I don’t know, i feel like i’m terrible at headcanons but I tried. Like always if you dont like it, let me know, and I’ll redo it!! (Also the gif is so cute, i love him)

xx

[thehelleniclunarwitch]

The Murder Academy 02

Here’s the first part of the series:  DFTR 01  DFTR 02  DFTR 03  DFTR 04  DFTR 05  DFTR 06  DFTR 07  DFTR 08

The Murder Academy 01

Warning: Homophobic slurs. Physical assault. Gun violence. Mention of blood. Please be advised when reading. 

                                         ---------------------------------------

*Seven Years Ago*

Klaus jumped off the bench and did a spin in the air. He landed in front of his boyfriend. Dave laughed, reached out to grab Klaus by his jacket and pull him in close. Klaus giggled as he leaned in to kiss Dave.

“You taste like whiskey,” Dave mumbled against his mouth.

“And you taste like happiness,” Klaus smiled.

The pair were too busy swept up in one another that they didn’t notice the three men walking towards them. Klaus finally spun away from Dave. They held hands as they continued to walk back down to the Academy where they would finish out their date night with a hot make-out session with some dumb moving playing in the background.

“Well look what we have here a bunch of fucking queers,” A man snarled.

Dave and Klaus slowed. They looked away from each other to the three men that stood in front of them.

“Listen, we don’t want any problems,” Dave started.

“Shut the fuck up,” The second man ordered.

“Hey, we haven’t done anything wrong,” Klaus said.

“The two of you gay boys were hanging all over each other. We don’t wanna watch the two of you suck face,” The third man snapped.

“Your right. We’ll go on home and out of your way,” Dave said slowly inching his way in front of Klaus.

The three men laughed.

“You think that’s going to make everything better?” The first one asked.

“Come on Drew let’s just beat the shit out of them and move on,” The second said.

“Now wait a minute Ryan, maybe they have something that we want,” Drew said.

Ryan raised his eyebrows.

“Kyle, what do you think?” Drew asked.

“Let’s see what these fags have,” Kyle said.

Before Dave and Klaus had the chance to react the three men descended upon them and attacked the couple. Dave and Klaus fought back as hard and as much as they could. The three men kicked, punched, spat, and did as much damage as they could.

Klaus lay there bleeding. One of his eyes was already starting to swell shut. It was growing harder to breathe. He was sure that he had a collapsed lung. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Dave struggling to get to his feet. Klaus tried calling out to his lover, but his words caught in the back of his throat.

“Oh look, the little fruit boy has balls,” Drew mocked.

Klaus forced himself to push through the pain and slowly get up to his knees.

“What do you think you’re gonna do?” Ryan asked.

Dave slowly raised his fists high. The other men began laughing.

“Cute. Real cute,” Kyle laughed.

“Give me your money then get back down you little piece of shit,” Drew demanded.

“No,” Dave said.

Klaus had to pause as a wave of blackness washed over him.

“What the fuck did you say to me?” Drew asked.

“No,” Dave repeated again.

“You’re an idiot,” Ryan said.

Drew looked at his buddies, to Klaus on the ground struggling to get up, and then back to Dave who was standing defiantly in front of him.

“You know what?” Drew said drawing everyone’s attention back to him. “Fuck this,”

Klaus screamed as the movement happened so quickly. Drew pulled out a gun and shot off two rounds. Klaus watched in horror as the bullets sunk into Dave’s chest. Klaus forgot all about the pain he was suffering and rushed to Dave’s side. He caught Dave before he could fall. Kyle and Ryan started swearing and pulling Drew away.

Klaus cradled Dave against his body.

“It’s going to be okay. I’m going to get help,” Klaus said.

“Stay,” Dave whispered.

“I have to get you help,” Klaus told him.

Dave shook his head. “Stay with me,” he pleaded.

“I can’t lose you,” Klaus began to cry.

Thunder cracked above them, opening the skies and rain fell around them. Dave lifted his hand up to Klaus’ face. His blood soaked fingers left a trail of blood on Klaus’ cheek.

“I love you,” Dave whispered.

“Just hang in there with me, Dave. Please Dave,” Klaus pleaded.

Dave gave Klaus a soft smile before his eyes drifted close. Klaus froze as he listened to his lover take his last breath. Tipping his head back, Klaus let out a loud piercing scream. He dropped his forehead down to Dave’s. He sat there for what felt like eternity crying over Dave’s lifeless body.

When Klaus heard sirens in the background he slowly placed Dave flat on the wet sidewalk. Pushing through the pain once again, Klaus grabbed the discarded gun on the ground and shoved it into the back of his jeans.

Klaus followed the trail of hooting and hollering. The three dumbasses lead Klaus right to the club where they had gone after attacking Klaus and Dave. Klaus knew this place. Had frequently visited this same place with Dave. He snuck in through the back to remain disguised.

Across the club, he could see the three men sitting huddled together. His body began to shake with anger as he slowly started to walk across the club. Friends of his tried stopping him to ask where Dave was. When they noticed that he was bleeding and hurt they tried tending to him, but he pushed past all of them.

Klaus stormed over to the three men who had just taken his whole world from him. With a shaking arm, Klaus pointed the gun at the three men. People began screaming and running. The three men broke apart and saw Klaus standing before them.

“Wait,” Ryan began.

Klaus gave them no time to beg for their lives. Instead, he fired three shots. One bullet to each of their heads. He watched as their heads snapped back and then they all fell over. Dead.

Quickly, he dropped his hand and then disappeared into the crowd and back out the way he came in. Klaus knew better than to throw away the murder weapon. He kept a deathlike grip on it as he ran and ran. Klaus continued to run until his legs gave out.

He crawled under one of the park benches. He curled up into a tight ball and let all of the emotions overtake him.

It was several hours later when Diego and Five finally found him. It took both of them to drag him out. Five had found the gun and shoved it into his coat pocket. Together, Diego and Five carried their brother to Diego’s car.

“How did you find me?” Klaus asked weakly.

“We’ve been looking for you ever since Dave’s body was discovered,” Diego explained.

“They killed him,” Klaus croaked.

Diego glanced at Five.

“I know,”

“He’s gone,” Klaus’ lip quivered.

“We know buddy,” Five said gently.

They got Klaus into the back of the car. Diego raced them back to the Academy. Klaus insisted on walking in by himself. Their butler, Pogo met them at the door.

“Take him down to the infirmary,” Pogo ordered.

“I’m not going anywhere. Leave me alone,” Klaus snapped.

“Klaus, you’re hurt,” Ben pointed out.

“I fucking know,” Klaus hissed.

“Let us help,” Allison urged.

“I want all of you to get the fuck away from me!” Klaus shouted.

He stumbled over to the stairs. He got up a few steps before falling to his knees. He let out a loud sob. Ben and Diego rushed to their brother’s side. Klaus tried pushing them away, but they continued on helping Klaus up to his room.

After they had gotten Klaus to settle down, Ben left the room to go and get medical supplies. Diego was trying his best to clean up the wounds with Kleenex.

“What happened, Klaus?” Diego asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Klaus muttered.

“I can’t help,” Diego began.

“Yeah, well I don’t need your murdering ways. I handled it on my own,” Klaus hissed.

Diego fell silent. He could tell his brother was hurting and it killed him that there was nothing he could do for him. But he stayed with Klaus until he cried himself to sleep and then swore to kill anyone whoever brought harm or pain to his siblings ever again.

                                       -----------------------------

*Present Time*

“No, no, put your thumb on the outside of your fist,” Klaus said walking over to Y/n and situating her fist.

“Like this?” Y/n asked as she showed him her new form.

“Perfect!” Klaus grinned.

“Okay, so what’s next?” Y/n asked.

“If you’re going to punch with your right-hand lead with your left foot. And vice versa,” Klaus explained.

Ben held the punching bag.

“Now give me two really good punches. Make sure you put your weight into it, but not all of it because you don’t want the momentum to knock you over,” Klaus said.

Y/n nodded. She concentrated on the bag, took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly as she went full force towards the bean bag. Ben and Klaus were both impressed with her first few punches.

“Good! Very good!” Ben beamed.

Y/n smiled as Klaus and Ben started to show her other things. The three of them stayed busy for quite some time. After a while, Ben left for a meeting leaving Klaus and Y/n alone. Y/n fell back against the mat and let out a long sigh. Klaus plopped down next to her and handed her a water bottle.

“You are a fast learner,” Klaus said.

“I had some great teachers,” Y/n beamed.

Klaus just gave her a soft smile in return.

“Klaus?” Y/n said.

“What is it, little bird?” Klaus asked.

“What made you become a serial killer? I mean what was that final push? The last straw?” Y/n asked.

She noted the way he froze and paled.

“That is a long story for another time,” Klaus finally broke the silence.

“Okay, I understand,” Y/n told him.

Klaus leaned over and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“You are too sweet,” Klaus whispered.

Y/n watched Klaus pop up to his feet. He ruffled her messy hair and walked out of the training room. Diego walked in. Y/n beamed up at him.

“What have you been up to?” Diego asked.

“Ben and Klaus were showing me some moves,” Y/n answered.

Diego bent over to kiss her.

“But I think I upset your brother,” Y/n told him.

“Which one?” Diego asked.

“Klaus. I asked him why he started killing people,” Y/n tattled on herself.

“Ah, yeah, all of these years later it’s still a touchy subject,” Diego sighed.

“Did I do something wrong?” Y/n asked.

“No, it’s just a really bad subject,” Diego said.

“Oh okay,” Y/n sighed.

“Don’t worry, Klaus will tell you in his own time,” Diego said.

Y/n only nodded. Diego pulled Y/n up to her feet and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He pressed a kiss to her temple.

“How about we get out of here and go get something to eat?” Diego asked.

“Yes,” Y/n grinned.

Diego and Y/n left the training room. They walked downstairs to the main level. Diego was telling her one of his wild stories as they headed for the front door.

“Hey, where are you two off to?” Five asked as he came out of the kitchen.

“To dinner,” Diego said.

Y/n noticed the way his eyes lit up.

“Do you want to join us?” Y/n asked.

Diego shot her a look, she glared at him and then pinched his side to keep him on his best behavior.

“You wouldn’t mind?” Five asked.

“If I minded I wouldn’t have asked,” Y/n said.

Five laughed and came to join the others. The three of them walked out of the Academy. Five and Diego both froze as they noticed two police cars slowly driving down the road. Diego was quick to turn towards his brother and pull him into a fake conversation. Y/n yawned and pretended to look at something in the sky.

Once the cars had passed by Diego brought his brother and girlfriend to his car quickly. The three of them climbed in and both boys let out a sigh of relief.

“I didn’t think the cops came on this side of the town,” Five snapped.

Y/n looked at them with worried eyes. “Do you think they are looking for me?”

“Nobody knows you’re here,” Diego said.

“If my brother put out a missing person report,” Y/n started.

“And they know nothing about me,” Diego growled.

“Unless Patch threw your ass under the bus,” Five said.

Five had never been a fan of Patch.

“She wouldn’t,” Diego hissed.

“Are you sure about that brother?” Five asked.

“Why would Patch turn on me?” Diego asked.

“She told the other Detective your true identity. How do we not know she shared other information?” Five asked him.

“Can you please get off my dick about Patch?” Diego shouted.

Y/n sat there in the backseat watching Five and Diego go at it.

“Boys,” Y/n said softly.

“I am only trying to look out for you, Y/n, and our family!” Five exclaimed.

“Five. Diego.” Y/n said in annoyance.

As Y/n tried to get the boys attention, they weren’t paying attention to what was happening in front of them. Y/n just happened to look up in time to see a black car zooming towards them.

“Diego!” Y/n screamed.

Diego and Five both looked up just as the car came barreling at them. Y/n gasped and braced herself as the impact tossed everyone around. The sound of crunching metal echoed. Somebody was screaming. Y/n smelt gas and could hear the ringing in her ears. As she lay crumpled in the back seat Y/n blinked a few times and as she lay there in agony she swore she saw a familiar face before blacking out.  

Tagged: 

@ahhhhkeya   @i-alyssa   @hedwigmoss   @les-bio-lie   @dawnson-hargreeves   @ryans-mad-queen   @alysweets   @hyradun   @lollipopdomination@awesometheydontknowiamhere    @buckyandstevegayornay @anotherfanficreadingblog @not-so-epic-iii   @ampbian   @liveitdoll     @gerardwayslips @snazzydoesthings   @gorgeourrific-nerd   @olkathefoxi   @umbrxlla-acxdxmy   @soul-of-a-traveller   @harrisbn@classyasssuperbitch @misspygmypie  @officially-kendra-hargreeves@sithskywalkers   @rose-01   @carryon-doctor-lock@ynm1505 @ampbian​ @i-am-a-smol-sweet-potato​ @klausbutgayer @love-chronicallyalice​ @5sos-wdw​ @robinruns

[karkatraejepsen]

omg i'm not even halfway through the epilogue and im DYING

i literally have so many thoughts and feelings i need to sort through so brace yourself. for reference i've read up to meat 35 and haven't read any of candy yet. NO SPOILERS I HAVE NOT CHECKED TUMBLR OR TWITTER SINCE IT CAME OUT TO AVOID SPOILERS

anyway omg DIRK 😭😭 i was so conflicted and upset at what was going on with him at first. why is he acting like that??? this isn't the dirk i know??? sure he's flawed as all hell and can be manipulative at times but like... he knew he fucked up, he blamed himself completely, he fucking hated himself, and he thought all his friends deserved better than him. he loved his friends SO MUCH. that dirk would never talk about jake the way epilogue!dirk does. but like... this isn't fucking dirk. this is dirk becoming his ultimate self, which includes bro. dirk has the most to fear out of anyone of becoming his ultimate self. becoming like bro is probably his worst fear. it's so fucking tragic to think what past dirk would think to see this version of himself. oh god he would probably take it as confirmation that he's an inherently horrible person. i can't fucking handle this but it makes so much sense, just, fuck man.

ok on to john. honestly his death didn't hit me that hard cuz it feels, like, fake i guess? it feels wrong. like this is dirk fucking with the narrative. alt callie and dirk are both fucking with the narrative (callie as candy and dirk as meat? there's also the connection between dirk and lord english, and therefore caliborn as well) and neither side of the dichotomy is "right". i'm guessing we'll see more of alt callie fucking with the narrative in the candy route. someone in the discord i'm in posited the theory that we'll only see the "true" ending when hussie wrests back control of the narrative, and i really like that. dirk and callie are still fictional characters and not meant to have this much control of the story. both candy and meat are wrong; meat is too tough, candy too cloying, there needs to be a balance. that's kinda what i was thinking from the beginning when everyone was fighting over meat vs candy, and rose all but confirmed it. it's difficult for me to take any of the deaths in this route seriously when it all feels dark just for the sake of being dark. it feels like part of what is wrong with this route, and i'm sure i'll feel similarly about candy. it's all just *off*

i have a lot more thoughts about specific characters: roxy and callie are nonbinary! i gotta draw roxy with their new haircut. dave is super cool with being bi but still repressed as all hell about his feelings about karkat! the conversation where he opened up to roxy about figuring out his sexuality was soo good. i'm surprisingly all aboard the davejadekat train? theyre cute af together and i love that jade has been out doing her own thing, having threesomes, and not waiting around for dave and karkat to come to their senses. OH GOD VRISKA 😭😭 john and terezi fucked???? oh god the chapter where terezi opened up to john about her feelings for vriska made me cry so hard 😭 also i actually kinda like johnrezi - they've both lost so much and are so lonely and depressed and found some measure of comfort in each other. it was really sweet and sad. OH YEAH JAKE AND JANE ALMOST FUCKED WHAT??? reading this shit is so fucking surreal. i'm not sure if jake not being able to stop thinking about dirk while making out with jane is cuz he's still not over him, or if that was dirk using his narrative powers to exert influence over his thought proccess. the latter is pretty fucked up.

i also actually really like the format - i was a bit on the fence before because it's so different and the art style is such an important part of homestuck. but honestly actually reading the characters' thought processes and internal monologues is so fascinating and i think actually contributes to them feeling more grown up. it almost feels strangely intimate, because it's not something we've ever seen before. there was always so much implied and left out or left to the reader's interpretation, so it's really strange to see some of those blanks filled in - details about dirk and jake's relationship for example. even casual details like jade having her bras thrown over the couch felt so jarring. not in a bad way but so strange and different. it really feels like fanfic which i think is the point? idk it just feels right for what i think they're going for

idk man the epilogue is pretty upsetting but in a good way i think, at least if it's going where i think it is. i think all the character work is really interesting and i'm honestly just amazed that we're getting new homestuck content in 2019. and so much dialogue! that's what i was missing from the finale - excessively long pesterlogs. god i missed reading these characters' interactions.

[reallygrossstuff]

DaveKat - Rubber Revenge

So this is the first work I’m publishing here, a ‘sequel’ to Furafinnity user simplythewurst’s story Basket in the Pool. Hope you all enjoy, I’ll be posting more in the future. If you have a request, feel free to send them in!

Dave wandered into the living room, shaking out his leg as he went to try and get rid of the feeling of heaviness. Ever since he recovered from what he’d taken to calling ‘the Target incident’, some four months after it had happened, his body sometimes felt loose and heavy. He couldn’t stop thinking about the time he’d spent as a stiff, helpless pooltoy – how much he’d liked it at the time, but also how little his boyfriend had done to actually help him besides taking him home.

He didn’t really hold it against him or anything – he hadn’t been in a state to mind, and at least he hadn’t been left in the store to be groped and squeezed by random strangers. Still, it was as good an excuse as any for some good-natured revenge, and Dave had been planning some turnabout for a while.

Dave had been staking out the Target on and off for a week or two, checking to see if he could find any more conspicuously abandoned products. When he found the scrap of bright red plastic, the nozzle still attached right in the middle, he knew exactly what he was going to do with it. Folding it up and slipping it into his back pocket, he’d done his best to ignore the slight squeak he could hear, seemingly amplified in his head.

In the living room, with Karkat clueless in front of him and his weapon of choice hidden in his hand, it was time for his master plan to unfold. Inconspicuously, he wandered up to his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around him, hugging him close and rubbing his back.

“What’s got you so cuddly?” Karkat rolled his eyes but hugged back, seeing nothing wrong with this sort of behaviour.

“Just the mood of the day, I guess. Do I need a reason?” His smirk was hidden into Karkat’s shoulder as his hand slowly slid up into the troll’s sweater and smoothed the plastic so the nozzle sat against his tailbone. He rubbed slowly along the edges, worried for a moment until he felt it slowly flatten into his skin.

“I guess not.” He shrugged, not feeling any difference as Dave’s fingers stroked over the plastic. To him, this was just another weird but harmless tick of his long-term boyfriend, and not even the most inconvenient. When they separated, Dave wandering towards the kitchen, he went over to the couch, reaching for the remote to resume watching his movie.

Dave leaned on the kitchen counter, watching Karkat inconspicuously as he waited for any signs that his scheme was working. Meanwhile, under his sweater, the troll’s skin was gaining a reddish sheen as the plastic spread across him. His ‘skin’ tightened slightly, pulling at him uncomfortably and causing him to reach down to scratch at his back.

“What the fuck?” He twisted on the couch, tugging up the back of his sweater to watch the plastic spread. It seemed to go faster as he watched it, rising up his back towards his shoulder-blades and sinking below the waistband of his pants. He stood quickly, pulling his sweater over his head only to see the redness fully circle his middle, rising up both his front and back. “What’s happening to me?”

“Looks like everything’s how it should be, babe.” Dave shrugged, watching with a proud smile. “Struggle while you can, bet it’ll look cute.”

“You did this?!” He turned towards Dave, fury in his eyes, but winced as the movement made his body squeak. The sheen of plastic had reached his shoulders and for now wasn’t going higher, instead spreading down his arms. “Why?”

“Cause it seemed like fun.” He leaned over the counter a little more, watching eagerly.

“You fucker! This isn’t funny, it’s-.” *POP*

Karkat jumped, twisting and turning to find the source of the loud noise and eventually looking behind himself, to where the nozzle on his back had opened itself up and began to suck in air. As he watched, his middle began to round out with air, the plastic pulling tighter as it did.

The next noise to get his attention was the ripping of stitches as his pants began to stretch, soon tearing entirely down both sides. While his legs ballooned and his toes fused together, the space between them disappeared until he was wobbling precariously on one large appendage, a slight dip in the middle all that was left to show where the split used to be. As he continued to grow, his knees bent against his will, lowering him towards the ground as he swore and protested, trying to keep himself upright with just his arms.

When Karkat was kneeling on the ground, only staying upright because of his now fully plastic arms, Dave got up and walked to him, stopping right in front of him. “Looking good, Kat. How’s it feel?”

“Like my entire body is squeezing me to death and I can’t feel anything below my shoulders.” Karkat growled at him, tilting his head up to try and escape the plastic slowly creeping up his neck. “You’d better turn me back, or I’ll – or – or aaahhh…”

Karkat’s griping was interrupted as Dave’s hand found its way to his crotch, stroking and squeaking against the rounded bump that used to be his bulge. He smirked as Karkat’s attention turned fully to the sensation, unable to hold back his moans as Dave squeezed down on it.

“Something to say, babe?” Dave tilted his head, one hand teasing the troll while the other adjusted his erection in his jeans. The sight and sound of Karkat turning to plastic was just as arousing, if not more so, than it had been to transform himself. Karkat, too busy moaning and trying to squirm, didn’t respond.

Just then, another noise wracked the troll with fear, as the pervasive hissing inhalation of the nozzle wheezed louder. He tried to turn his head and see, but his neck had stiffened in place so that he was forced to keep looking forwards. Regardless, he felt it when his lower half grew tighter, and Dave’s hand moving to feel him up confirmed what was happening.

While the rest of Karkat’s body had thickened with air, his backside was inflating even further. His cheeks bulged outwards, pulling the plastic even tighter and creaking with the pressure. In a matter of moments his flat ass had turned into two comical balloons, wobbling slightly under Dave’s groping hands and disrupting his centre of gravity. At the same time, his hands began to move of their own accord- lifting off the ground and moving to press against his chest, palms-out, before fusing into place there. No longer able to support himself, it was only a few moments before he was teetering in place, cursing as his body fell and bounced slightly against the ground.

Dave chuckled, giving Karkat’s ass a slap and listening to the hollow sound it made. “Looking good there, Vant-ass. Looks like you’re nearly done.”

Karkat opened his mouth to protest again, but was quickly silenced as the plastic spread to cover his face. His eyes and mouth contorted against his will, sealing his expression into one of mindless joy. His lips were pulled wide into a cheesy grin, puffing out slightly and turning a deep black, while his eyes widened and rounded into two yellow circles, forced to stare straight ahead even as Dave kept groping him.

While internally he was still upset at Dave for doing this, none of that frustration was conveyed on Karkat’s new cartoonish face, and Dave was free to lift the toy effortlessly by one hip and carry him into their bedroom. “We had tons of fun together, right? Betcha we can have some more before you turn back… whenever that is.”

Karkat could hear the smugness in Dave’s voice, and he knew there’d be a shit-eating grin plastered on his face if he could see. When he was put back down on the bed, his pose made it so that his hips were arched out, showing off his round backside while keeping his gaze fixed helplessly forward. While he would be blushing if he could, his squeaky red skin did a good enough job for him, sliding from a bland maroon at his upper half into his signature candy red for his crotch, ass and legs. The only splashes of colour left were his puffy black lips, his round yellow eyes, and his tricoloured horns. As Dave ogled him, he couldn’t resist running his hands along that red plastic, squeaking it loudly and consistently.

As that noise filled Karkat’s head, he found it harder and harder to concentrate. He wanted to be angry at Dave for tricking him, but the more the human dragged his hands over his round, shiny cheeks, the more it felt as though his thoughts were being drowned out by the incessant squeaking.

The squeaking only got louder when Dave pushed forwards, grinding his clothed erection against Karkat’s backside. The denim rubbed teasingly between his cheeks, drawing out a squeak so long and so loud that he lost his train of thought entirely.

He was angry, right? But what about? Everything felt so good, so overwhelming, Dave forcing more sounds out of his big, squeaky body. With every squeak his hesitation shrank and withered, until all he could think about was how good it felt to be groped and grinded on. Dave was lighting up his nerves with the contact, and when he pulled away for a moment only to come back without those pesky jeans, Karkat’s mind filled with pleasure.

“Feels good, right, babe?” Dave asked, ignoring his boyfriend’s inability to respond. It did feel good, the pleasure of it driving over the ex-troll in waves as Dave used him as he pleased. “I knew you’d like it.”

As Dave kept going, getting closer and closer to the edge, Karkat’s concerns faded more and more. By the time the human finished, spilling carelessly over Karkat’s back, the only thought in his head was when Dave would use him next.

[this-is-big-lady]

Swipe Right part 9/10

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, can be found on AO3 here

Woah, we’re nearly done guys! I’ve become so attached to my guys, I don’t know if I’m quite ready to let them go! At least I have one more chapter with them. I hope you enjoy this next chapter :) 

The soft whoosh of the opening automatic door invited Davey into a coffee scented haven. He stepped through and allowed the door to close behind him, as he spotted Jack sitting at their regular table. Taking a deep breath to steel his nerves, he headed over to the vacant chair and the cup with “Davey” scrawled across it. Jack put down the cup he was taking a sip from as Davey walked over, and stood to greet him.

“Dave, hey.” The boys stood in front of each other for a second too long, awkwardness thick in the air. Until Jack pulled Davey in for a half-hearted one armed hug and a trademark Jack Kelly smile. Davey allowed a hint of a smile dance across his lips before dropping into the seat with Jack following suit.

“I’m assuming there’s no coffee in this?” Davey asked, gesturing towards the drink that was presumably his.

Shaking his head in reply, Jack noted, “none at all, it is pure hot chocolatey goodness.” He had no idea how he could have a crush on a guy who avoids coffee like the plague, but here he was; buying hot chocolates and paying extra for marshmallow syrup when said crush wasn’t paying attention.

“Flick me a text with your bank details, I’ll pay you back.” Davey took a sip from the cup and gulped it down, the warmth spreading through his chest felt like true bliss.

“I will not do that because this is my treat,” Jack said indignantly, and when Davey looked ready to protest Jack cut him off by asserting that it was no big deal. Davey huffed and looked down at his drink, not pushing it any further. “But one thing that I owe you Dave, is an apology. It was rude of me to make you leave yesterday after I was the one that invited you over. It was a real dick move and I hope you can forgive me for that.”

Davey looked up from the various scrawls on his coffee cup to see the honesty and vulnerability in Jack’s eyes. It was the first time that Jack had truly worn his heart on his sleeve around Davey, and he hoped that he could see more of this side of the artist.

“Of course I forgive you Jack. I just hope Katherine was worth ditching me for!” Davey leaned over the table to give Jack’s shoulder a playful shove, eliciting laughter from the pair.

“Yeah yeah, she was actually pretty cool,” Davey tried to ignore the squeezing feeling in his chest as Jack talked, focusing instead on the reassurance that Crutchie gave him last night . “We were chatting about her overbearing parents, and how she moved out to college to get away from them. She even told me about this girl she has her eye on in her art history class… get this, she’s had a crush on her since the first week right, and she saw this mystery girl on tinder, but swiped left because she was too scared! What an idiot, right?!”

Davey couldn’t ignore the sigh of relief he let out under his breath - Katherine wasn’t interested in Jack at all, there was no need to get so upset. Well, that’s always easier to see in hindsight, and Davey knew he had a penchant for overreacting. He mumbled an agreement to Katherine’s foolishness, and both boys took swigs from their drinks.

“So Jack,” Davey started, placing down his cup and leaning back to into his chair, “anyone else I should know about?” He cocked an eyebrow, trying to toe the line between playful and flirty - but going by Jack’s snort into his cup, he failed miserably.

“Not at the moment Davey, but there is this one really cute guy who I buy hot chocolates for on occasion, and sometimes I manage to sneak marshmallow into them when he’s not looking…” A grin split across Jack’s face as a look of shocked disbelief graced Davey’s. A moment ago a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth hearing Jack’s confession that he wasn’t seeing anyone else, but it quickly morphed into a caricature of what a shocked southern belle would look like.

“I knew it!” Davey punctuated his sentence by slapping his hand on the table, “I knew I could taste marshmallow in here, you scoundrel!”

The week after Jack’s apology was the final week of classes for the academic year, and the idea of summer stretching out in front of duo was far too enticing. Except for Davey’s final exams and Jack’s final presentations. Davey spent this final week in a blind panic about handing in his final assignments, scribbling down every single exam hint his teachers gave him in class, and doubting that he had even learnt the material he had spent weeks writing study notes for. Jack, on the other hand, spent the week locked in his room painting, drawing, and interpretative dancing his way into being a food and sleep deprived mess.

They were only saved by their occasional catch ups to keep them sane. Running into each other as they crossed campus to go to classes, Davey walking Jack home on Tuesday because, ‘it’s only a 10 minute walk away, and I need the exercise (and to spend time with you)’, and in the library’s group study space on Friday afternoon, when they had officially finished classes for the year.

Breathing a sigh of relief as they flopped down into their seats, the boys looked at each other with disbelief.

“We’re done! I can’t quite believe it.” Davey huffed in response to Jack’s incredulous statement of finality.

“No, you’re done. I still have four exams. Not all of us are be fine arts students who can chuck paper into a bin for five minutes as a final assessment for a dance class - it didn’t even have any dancing!” The journalism student was still reeling from Jack’s news that he got an A- on his Dance and Interdisciplinarity assignment, which was just a glorified public version of taking the trash out.

“That’s the beauty of interdisciplinarity Dave, I made a blanket statement about how we’re taught that wasting paper is wrong, so I ripped up a whole text book and chucked it in the recycling bin piece by piece - the oxymoron of modern education, as my teacher put it. He loved it!” Davey groaned and hit his head on the table. How he was struggling through his assignments comparing American and British journalism, barely scraping a B, and Jack was doing this bullshit and pulling easy As was beyond him. Was it too late to change his major?

A lightbulb went off in Davey’s head about how he could change this infuriating topic, and he followed it. “Hey, I’ve been noticing a lot more paint on you in the past week or so. I didn’t think you were taking a painting course this semester?”

Jack entered panic stations - he had finally finished painting his drawing of Davey onto a canvas for his final project, but he obviously couldn’t let said subject know that. He mumbled out some excuse about needing to paint to take away from the stress of his drawing project. Davey had seen all his little paintings scattered around his apartment, and Jack hoped that he bought the lame excuse. He did, but of course he started asking about it in true Davey fashion.

“Have you seen anyone else for it since the weekend?” Davey’s eyes were cast downwards - even though the duo had talked about Jack ditching him for Katherine, he was still a little insecure about it. Or maybe embarrassed for the way he acted? Either way, he didn’t look like he truly wanted to be talking to Jack about it.

“Nah, not really. There was this guy I briefly met and did a tiny little sketch of, but since we’re displaying them tomorrow, I didn’t really have time to do any other drawings after Katherine.”

“Wait, you’re being assessed tomorrow?! And I haven’t even seen mine yet?!” Davey appeared to be genuinely shocked, thinking that he’d at least be able to see how he was being presented to the world; he did tell Jack some very personal things, after all.

Jack rubbed awkwardly at the nape of his neck, feeling like a young child being chastised for not telling his mother about a permission slip that had to be signed for the following day. “I mean, you’re not alone - nobody is seeing theirs until tomorrow, and I’ve invited all my subjects to come to the showing.” Knowing that the next thing Davey was going to say was that he hadn’t been invited, Jack continued. “And before you say anything, I didn’t invite you because I don’t want you to be just another subject, Davey. I, well I….”

Jack’s voice trailed off into space as psyched himself up to actually say what he had been planning this whole week.

“Dave, I want you to be my date.”

Davey’s eyes widened in surprise, he really didn’t expect Jack to ask him that, at all. But knowing Jack, he tried to keep it lighthearted.

“You mean like a study date? Or like an actual-“

“An actual date-date, Dave.” The artist visibly cringed at the accidental alliteration, but the sincerity of his voice cut through it all. Davey couldn’t help but feel his heart speed up at the idea - their first non-coffee or “study” date; but a date in its own right.

His head started nodding before he managed to murmur out, “yeah, okay, that… that sounds great.” Jack’s damned infectious smile spread between the two of them - Davey even let out a little giggle that he will vehemently deny doing until his grave.

“The student gallery at the fine art school opens at 7:30, and everyone’s been asked to get there at 7.” Jack started fishing around in his bag, and brandished a piece of paper towards Davey, which he grabbed. “The dress code is smart casual, and all the info listed on this invite here. But since this is a date, I’ll pick you up at 5 and we’ll go for dinner before heading to the gallery, does that work for you?”

If this is what true happiness felt like, Davey couldn’t be more thrilled. Here he was, being asked out on a date by the guy he had a huge crush on - he couldn’t believe it! Jack had changed so much for him, he no longer sat cooped up at how with Crutchie, doing nothing but studying and watching documentaries. He was going out to an art gallery to see a drawing of himself and other fascinating people, all thanks to a simple right swipe. On his way home he was going to pick up Crutchie’s favourite snacks and wine to thank him for pushing him into this incredible situation that he didn’t have the balls to do himself. Thank god (and Crutchie) for tinder.

“That works perfectly, Jack. I can’t wait.”

[413-homestuck-headcanons]

Do you have any headcanons for cute things that Dave and Karkat do when hanging out?

I’m not sure if you meant romantically or just friends, so I’ll do a mix of both.

1. Teasing. We’ve seen how much Dave teases Karkat. Playful thought, mostly just drawing stuff on Karkat’s face and watching him freak out when he finds out.

2. Anyone who has known Karkat for longer then a month has been treated to a romcom marathon. The only way Dave survives all these poorly executed movies, is by writing awful reviews on his own copy of “movie bro”. Most of them get 2 out of 10 shades.

3. They once tried to help in the kitchen. They have significantly less kitchens on the meteor then when they started.

4. Neither of them like swimming, but they both do cannonballs in pools just to show how manly they are.

5. Dave always carries a stopwatch with him (even though he doesn’t need to being the knight of time, but he does it for dramatic effect) so when he hangs out with Karkat he sees how long He can rant. The record so far is 1:38:23.

6. When Karkat is upset, or in mourning of a movie. Dave won’t try to comfort him like a normal person would, that would only end up with him getting yelled at. So Dave will end up flopping down next to him, mimicking the groans Karkat makes. It doesn’t help that much but it takes Karkat’s mind off of whatever is bothering him.

7. They often perform community service in cantown. They are always willing to help the Mayor in their free time. Community service is mostly cleaning up and redrawing chalk lines that got smudged.

I’m not sure I got it all right, but here you go.

#6

[droughtofapathy]

Great Come Experience Part One

My Experience at Natasha, Pierre & the Great Comet of 1812:

 Disclaimer: I’ve sat in banquette seating four times. I’ve been able to see most of the theater, but I’m going to be a little heavy on the Marya D. and Hélène stuff because I’m super gay, and like… Grace McLean and Amber Gray, amirite?

 Pre-Prologue:

·       So it started with this jaunty music, and the whole cast comes out with the pierogi baskets, and you get dumplings if you wave your arms enough. Also each cast member has a section and converses with the audience for like almost five minutes. It’s great, because you can just talk to the people, and I was in Pearl Rhein’s section twice (fell in love both times, holy shit her eyebrows and wow is she tall). She said she loved my shoes and hair and I felt my soul ascend.

·       Oh forgot to mention that while you wait for it to start there’s this upbeat Russian music going on, and it’s great.

·       Also during the introductory no cell phones thing, this guy announces it in a heavy Russian accent, and after each thing, the cast goes “нет” and the ones like Pearl Rhein, and Sumayya Ali point to people with their bow strings and you don’t even think of disobeying because if not you’ll be given to KGB and sent off to Siberia.

Prologue:

·       It starts once the air siren goes off

·       Natasha cries out “No!” when Andrey leaves for war, and there’s this whole necklace exchange, that’ll be significant later.

·       And Pierre is just up on the top level in front of the doors.

·       He begins to sing, and usually before that there’s raucous applause.

·       Pierre sings his verse, and then the whole cast joins in, and it’s a magical moment.

·       Then the lights go up, and everyone has shot glasses.

·       So each time someone is introduced via their lines, they get a spotlight and take a shot.

·       So, during Sonya’s she and Natasha cross arms and take a shot that way, and it’s so cute.

·       Whenever Marya takes a shot, she makes a face like “yes, that’s the stuff” and it’s such a beautiful facial expression. Also her hair is what I live for. The updo is so precise, and perfect. I want to do that. Also she’s got these streaks of lighter/greying hairs which I always go crazy for.

·       During this, the actor who plays Andrey, is off changing into his Bolkonsky costume (for me it was Nicholas Belton twice, and Blaine Alden Krauss twice when Nick left for personal days three shows before it closed).

·       He comes back on in that costume, with his instrument. And it’s really quite funny.

Pierre:

·       Immediately they meld into Pierre just after Prologue, and it’s great.

·       During this, they’ve all got their shot glasses still.

·       When the line “il est charmant, il ne pas de sexe. He is charming he has no sex” the women all twirl around him. And Hélène is front and center spotlighted on the middle “balcony” and she’s just got so much attitude

·       Also Marya’s expressions are amazing and I will continue to mention them. Even when she’s just sitting in the background, she’s got such a presence.

·       When the line “how many men before good Russian men…” comes up, and Pierre speculates about who leaves tootless and bald, Anatole gets a spotlight and he just scoffs and saunters around stage as if to say “yeah right, not me bitch”

·       During that last note, where everyone is going ‘ahhhhh’ it’s so much more intense than the cast recording and they hold it forever honestly. Everyone is gathered on the two “banister” levels of the main stage, and they’re all just intently staring at Pierre, and some are practically hanging over the railings. Hélène is especially like “ugh, this guy”.

Moscow:

·       After a pause for applause, we go into Moscow. The ensemble mostly exits, or at least gets somewhere on the outskirts of the stage.

·       Marya hands off her shotglass to someone. And as the music starts, she is wandering around inspecting things with a critical eye.

·       When Natasha sings her name, she looks just so excited and thrilled. But reins it in to sing her name back.

·       When Sonya does her thing, she like starts the “sofia” part like she’s almost forgotten her name. And it’s clear Marya does not like Sonya. There’s a whole backstory on why from the books so go read them.

·       When she does the “Welcome, welcome to Moscow” she just goes for it, and both Natasha and Sonya visibly jump. The whole audience does honestly.

·       She points to various audience members during “faded and fading princesses” “gossips and crybabies”. And it’s great.

·       When she does her whole “bring in their things” the ensemble rushes around to grab the extra props and stuff, and they’re so terrified of and respect Marya.

·       She goes off down the middle orchestra stage, and Natasha and Sonya do their impression of Marya’s growling voice. It’s so cute.

·       When Natasha says “but I can’t bear this waiting” Sonya looks so sad and exasperated. She follows Marya’s path and they meet up in the rear of the theater. They reaapproach Natasha and Marya is leading Sonya by her shoulders, and she’s like over half a head taller than Sonya (Grace McLean is sorta tall, but she’s in heels to further emphasize her stature. And I want those shoes they’re fabulous).

·       Oh both Sonya and Natasha are mostly in flats so we see them as delicate and innocent I suppose. It helps with the height comparison.

·       When Marya and Sonya get to the top of the stairs that leads to the main stage, Marya sort of pushes Sonya away, and she braces herself against the banister while Marya goes to dote on Natasha.

·       They drink tea (laced with rum).

·       Oh and something you don’t notice are the Bolkonsky’s. During all of this, Bolkonsky is fiddling with a knife, and visibly trembling (probably some sort of dementia) and Mary is nervously watching, and trying to help but he keeps shaking her off so she reads her bible.

·       She also crosses over when Marya mentions her in the song.

The Private and Intimate Life of a House:

·       We start with Bolkonsky’s part of the song. He takes a really long pause before “people enjoy me” to stare to his left at the audience and waves creepily/awkwardly. It always gets a laugh.

·       When he sings powdered wig, he pats his and a puff of powder erupts from it.

·       During “such a majestic and agreeable spectacle” Mary stands from the stair she is on leading up to the mezzanine.

·       Then she launches into her haunting part about there being 22 more hours in the day.

·       When he starts ordering her around, she looks just so frightened, and does this trembling bow, and Gelsey Bell is an actual goddess.

·       When she does her whole “and I have no friends no never go anywhere” she runs across and around the stage wringing and waving her hands tragically. Mary needs a hug. Someone please hug this poor woman.

·       The whole “I can hurt you” is said by Mary with such fierceness that she quickly turns to reassurance to the audience that she never ever ever would. And she loves her father so much, but he’s such an abusive asshole. Like fucks sake I’m angry about this.

·       So the difference between Nicholas and Blaine seems so much more intense when he sings certain parts like “worthless and dumb”. He really does the shouty, angry old man act well.

·       So Mary makes an audience member stand and she pretends he’s her suitor. Then Bolkonsky turns to another audience member and kisses and nuzzles her and it’s hilarious for everyone involved.

·       Then the servent (Paul Pinto) who walked hunched almost completely over, brings that table shot glasses.

·       The whole “where are my glasses” bit is so so much more frightening live. The first time I heard it (and didn’t know the show at all) I was actually terrified for Mary. And she looks just so horrified, and upset by the entire thing.

·       Also during this, the music is haunting, and Marya D. stands from where she’s been sitting and observing (with such a haughty and regal expression) to ominously play the cowbell. It’s such an interesting addition that I didn’t notice the first time.

Natasha & Bolkonsky’s:

·       So the servant announces Natasha’s presence, and Mary is just so awkward the entire time.

·       They do the chair thing in complete silence. Mary goes over to get her chair (that Hélène has been lounging on this entire time and Hélène moves to drape herself on the staircase. That’s another thing. Hélène even when off focus, just languidly and sensually drapes herself onto surfaces).

·       They do their chair thing in the middle of the main table section of the audience. And it’s so tense.

·       They both stand when singing their “I don’t like her” verse. Then two ensemble members bring them tea (one is Lulu Fall, and I think the other may have been Shoba Narayan. Pretty sure in fact.

·       Then they move to another spot and fake laugh at each other.

·       Then Bolkonsky comes out in his underthings and scares the shit out of Natasha.

·       Then Natasha tearfully tries to leave and Mary realizes that they fucked up and tries to put it right, but Natasha intensely yells at Mary who jumps back and holds out her hands in defense, so you know this girl has been seriously verbally abused at the very least.

No One Else:

·       The lighting changes to this beautiful blue (made even more beautiful by the fact that Dave Malloy is supposedly color blind and can see blue well, but not red so you just sob thinking about that)

·       And Natasha looks so much like a princess in this moment. Everything is wonderful and heartbreaking.

·       Andrey comes onstage and has a bundle of her letters. It snows over him, and Natasha reaches for him but they don’t touch, and he leaves again. She just looks so longing.

·       When I first saw it the last lines about him maybe being in the drawing room and her just forgetting he was there was so emotional and heartbreaking, I just teared up.

The Opera:

·       Cue dramatic music change. Marya does her whole “the opera the opera” part and she seems so excited to be sharing this with Natasha and even Sonya. Also the growl though!

·       The Servent (Paul Pinto again) is in this emcee costume type thing and it’s so sparkly and extra with a top hat and everything.

·       When everyone else comes out you are just so amazed by the costumes. Like wow. In an interview, the designer Paloma Young talked about how they’re meant to look opulent and splendid from a distance, but up close you see they’re cheaply made to represent the false splendor of 19th century Russia and I am so angry they didn’t win best costume design.

·       So all of the women have their own unique costume and color scheme. Even the swings get their own unique outfit. It’s fantastic and fits each person so well. So like Lulu Fall is in red, obviously. And Shoba has this orange and looks so beautiful. And Cathryn Wake has a bright blue number, and don’t even get me started on Celia Mei Rubin’s costume. I love her so much and am so happy I got to see her swing on twice.

·       Even the two opera dancers have like fancy clothing which they quickly exit to change into their actual opera outfits.

·       Both Natasha and Sonya are so enchanted. And Marya gives Natasha that flower for her hair. And she adjusts Sonya’s headfeather thing.

·       She’s also so judgmental about Anna Mikhaylovna’s headdress.

·       Then Hélène sees Natasha and is instantly drawn in. (Side note: every woman in this show is so gay for Natasha except for Marya D. who is too busy being gay for Hélène sorry I don’t make the rules it’s a thing).

·       When the servant does his announcement of the people, Dolokhov saunters around stage, and kisses a woman’s hand and then makes her kiss his. It’s great.

·       And Hélène just flounces around twirling and displaying her body and outfit. She’s got two main dresses, and this one is like her main one sorta. So it’s black, with green underskirts, and fringes and it’s so pretty I want one now.

·       Side note: Marya actually is wearing something not entirely red. Like it’s got red accents, but is mostly dark with gold patterns that sorta look tinged greenish. Nod to her romantic entanglements to Hélène? Coincidence? I think not!

·       And Natasha is so taken with Hélène, it’s so gay!

·       When Hélène starts talking to Natasha, Marya and Sonya are over to the side, and when Marya sees what’s going on, she quickly (nearly runs) over to intervene. She places herself between Natasha and Hélène, and looks so huffy when Natasha keeps interrupting. And her whole “woman you should stay far away from” is said without taking her eyes off of Hélène. Like, girl, you make out with her next act. I see your thirst don’t deny it.

·       Then the actual opera starts and holy shit is it weird to see live. The two dancers prance about. And both Gelsey Bell and Paul Pinto are the opera singers. Their voices (Gelsey’s especially) are just so haunting, and the noises Gelsey makes are fucking weird, but wow are you just so impressed by it.

·       Also, during on point the opera dancer (Mary Page Nance though the first time I saw it Celia Mei Rubin was swinging for Ani Taj) jerks her arms towards herself and pants comedically. It’s really quite funny.

·       Holy shit I’ve got a lot to say just noticed. And we’re not done yet.

·       Okay, so the opera pauses and we interlude onto Sonya and Natasha who look so bored and confused. And Natasha gets up and waltzes about the stage while Sonya narrates.

·       So Anatole makes his entrance and the big doors open and this blinding light surrounds him. The entire cast turns to marvel at this wonder, and audience included they all shield their eyes. Yes it’s that bright. Anatole does this weird head thing to the beat of the music like he’s reveling in the attention.

·       He walks down the stairs and starts kissing and nuzzling an audience member then pats the closest male member to her as if to say “good on you mate”

·       He goes right to Hélène and taps his cheek for her to kiss him but moves his head to she kisses him on the lips instead. That’s her delighted laugh you can hear on the soundtrack. In the book the relationship is heavily implied to be incestuous. Suck on that George RR Martin. Tolstoy’s already done siblings being weirdly attracted to each other.

·       The opera resumes and most of the ensemble has joined in on the show. There’s people on the stairs to the mezzanine wearing these creepy hooded costumes with long fingers. And others dresses as soldiers. And the Andrey actor comes out bloodied while the two dancers tear off his coat and pull long flowy sheets from him to resemble blood. He holds out a crumpled red ribbon towards Natasha who shrinks away terrified.

·       During this stuff Dolokhov, Hélène, and Anatole are on the middle level banister part and applaud in slow motion. Marya is seated on the top level and does so as well. She just really loves the opera.

Natasha & Anatole:

·       Okay so during this, it’s the two of them in the box together.

·       So I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. But, when Natasha sings the part about there being “nothing formidable…not a barrier of modesty I’ve always felt with men” for some reason this makes her attraction to him so much more believable. Because see, she’s a young woman in 19th century Russia where men and women don’t converse this casually. So for her, this is probably the first time a man outside her family has spoken to her like a real person instead of just some woman they must be cordial to. And I hate their relationship so much, but it’s so understandable that this impressionable young woman be taken with someone who actually treats her like someone worth talking to. Like, Andrey has this distant smile and is probably really formal with her, but here this dude is being all approachable and shit.

·       Like jesus Christ stop hating on Natasha. You fan girls will jump through hoops to defend Anatole; og fuckboi of the century just because he’s pretty, even though he’s literally at fault so much more in this situation. Like c’mon he’s a grown ass man. Fucks sake…

·       So a few more things. He grabs her flower at one point.

·       Also, the last line about there being nothing between them has a double meaning. So yes, there’s nothing between them in terms of like space, or something in the way of their mutual attraction, but like also they just met. This relationship is not build on anything substantial so there is like literally nothing really between them.

The Duel:

·       Okay so visually I love this song so much. It’s such a fantastic thing, but I kept listening to the soundtrack and that’s what really got me.

·       Before it starts Anatole is just upstage and mimes a head explosion motion. It’s great. Like, I hate this character, but Lucas Steele is just such a good actor for the part.

·       Okay so Anatole comes back to the Bezukhov household all like ‘c’mon we going to drink tonight’ and Dolokhov comes in with a tray and spins it while pouring what I’ll assume is vodka, but who knows.

·       The music gets intense and the seizure lights start. A rave scene in 19th century Russia. Sign me the fuck up. The first time I had to shut my eyes, but the next three times I actually kept them open to watch everything, and it honestly wasn’t bad at all.

·       Side note: I love the whole drink with me my love part. It is just a great line.

·       So just a few things I’ve seen. One of the ensemble members (I think it’s Josh Canfield) is wearing a leather crotch harness, and green speedo. (Side note: I’m probably going to mess up on who each male ensemble member is because I’m way better versed in the women. I think it’s a side effect of being a huge lesbian…) Mary is wearing these huge aviator/mad scientist goggles (and yes I’m choosing to believe Mary has finally gotten out of the house let me have this). During the chaos so much is happening. So Marya D. is dressed up in this latex catsuit, and a riding crop complete with like a mesh covered boob window thing because Marya is always in something highnecked even as a secret deviant in a druggy club. (So different cast sources claim Grace McLean is actually playing someone called Catya, but costume designer says that “secret deviant… Marya is part of the aesthetic so I choose to believe it really is Marya but she’s disguised with these huge sunglasses. Also she spanks multiple people with that riding crop so like… wow if I didn’t know I was gay before…

·       To continue, during this Balaga is going down on Sonya (though technically it’s the actor Paul Pinto who plays a lot of roles, so it could be anyone at this point), someone does a line of “cocaine” (it’s sugar), Josh Canfield just slides across one part of the stage and almost into the table section. And everything is so sexual, and it’s the best. Like Grace McLean goes from humping Josh Canfield, to drinking with Dolokhov. During the climax (ha!) of the scene there’s that whole bit about “the health of married women and their lovers” and I just love this line so much. Hélène is so mocking of Pierre. Some ensemble members mime throwing up into the audience from drinking too much, and Mary is just hugging a banister pole and slumped on the ground. Girl doesn’t get out much.

·       Just before the big duel, Marya pulls Anatole aside to give him an impromptu blowjob. Like they exchange the riding crop and hit each other with it, and she gets down on her knees while he unzips his pants but then everything stops and Pierre is like “bitch, don’t touch my wife” to Dolokhov, and everyone immediately turns their attention to that (Grace, Brittain Ashford (Sonya), and a few others slip out to presumably change costume. The ensemble take seats to see the fun, and I was sat right next to Blaine and Heath Saunders while they talked about the duel (everyone is always talking when off-mic too) and he nudged me when the announcer was like “as the adversary’s…” and Blaine said to me “no they have not” and I was just like “not at all” back to him. Wow.

·       There’s that whole duel thing, and beforehand, Hélène is like “he will kill you” to Pierre and her voice just breaks. This part of the play is when you can really see just how much more complex their relationship is. Because Hélène’s actions show that on some level she really does care for Pierre’s wellbeing because when Dolokhov is shot she just gasps and you can’t even really hear it, but when Dolokhov shoots, she just gives out this bloodcurdling scream of horror and distress. And for the rest of the scene she’s just in shock, and exits by slowly walking up the stairs. I saw her expression up close, and she was just in shock, and devastated, and it was a turmoil of emotions.

·       TL;DR Hélène is not the monster people love to make her out to be. And I love her and will defend her with my life. Fight me.

·       While Anatole leaves he mimes finger guns at Pierre, who is so not in the mood.

Dust and Ashes:

·       Transition to the big song. Okay, so I love this song so much. For one it’s a beautiful song full of emotion and some great lines (I love “bury me in burgundy”) but also because I have a lower voice (with terrible range I might add) so I can sorta sing along to this one without sounding horrible.

·       So, for a bit it’s just Pierre silently in his office area. Then he starts hesitantly playing the chords on the piano. And while I’d agree that Josh Groben’s voice is more pleasing to hear, Dave Malloy sings it with such emotion, and I’d agree his voice is suited to play Pierre’s character better. But both men are fantastic and I loved them both.

·       At one point he holds out a book and shakes it at the audience in desperation. It’s  so beautiful and during the climax, the entire company is both standing side by side in the mezzanine, and down the two aisles in the orchestra. They sing the “ahhhs” and it’s the most beautiful and haunting thing. Like, if I could just have a picture even of that moment, I’d die happy. You’re so focused on Pierre that you might miss this, but it’s the most beautiful thing ever.

·       The song ends with this blue light on Pierre (think back to the color blind thing and you’ll feel things).

Sunday Morning:

·       Sonya and Natasha enter. It’s the next morning just after the duel so everything that just happened from Private and Intimate… to now was in like a twenty-four hour period. Maybe even Moscow, but I’m choosing to believe there was some time before Natasha went to visit the Bolkonsky’s.

·       They do the candle in the mirror thing, and holy shit. So when Natasha is looking in the mirror, and she sees the man, Pierre returns to his office area, and crosses right behind Natasha so she can see him in the mirror and that is such a brilliant stage direction and I am so shook.

·       Her future is Pierre! It’s right there!

·       The scene changes so rapidly from Natasha’s distress at seeing someone lying down in the mirror to Marya’s “SUNDAY MORNING TIME FOR CHURCH” and thank you growl voice.

·       Then after the brief church bit, Marya goes off to scold Bolkonsky for his behavior and I wish I could have seen Marya tear him a new one because it’s so funny in the books. Grace exits the big doors with such a flourish. She just like turns sidways, holds out her skirts and like floats out the door.

Charming:

·       So for this scene Natasha is mostly in her corset and underthings and Hélène just waltzes in. This song is so gay, and Dave Malloy has said it was meant to be, so fuck yeah gay.

·       Hélène has on her second dress. This one’s main color is green, with black underskirts. And the coat she has on is so extra. I want one.

·       Hélène is so sensual and flounces around, twirling her skirts during this entire song. Amber Gray fuck me up. Her voice is so jazzy, and she’s got the growl down too. Jesus Christ I’m so gay. She just takes over the whole theater, and there is no one else.

·       During this, Lulu and Shoba are maids in the household and have a beautiful dress for Natasha to try on. They hold it open and she just ducks into it. I need to be able to dress this easily.

·       So, a few things about my favorite parts. “Now a woman with a dress is a frightening and powerful thing” is probably one of my favorite lines. Like fuck yeah woman power. Also, the fact that she effortlessly pronounces “Alliez dans le monde. Plutôt que de dépérir d’ennui!” which according to my French education means something like go into the word rather than perish of boredom, but she completely botches the entire title of the song. Charmante is not pronounced Charmanté. Even if it does sound so much better.

·       So Natasha has on her dress, and Hélène just casually rips the necklace Andrey gave her off, and tosses it aside (Pierre catches it, symbolism anyone?) and replaces it with her own necklace. Then they go off to the ball together.

·       Also the coat is passed to Natasha at one point and she just loves that coat as much as I do.

The Ball:

·       Lemme tell you about the ball. This musical is so disregarding of gender norms like I love it. Like an ensemble member Katrina Yaukey has full armpit hair dyed hot pink it’s awesome. But, right ball. So everyone is in costume. The women all have different tops to their dresses, but the skirts are mostly the same. The inner skirt on most (dunno if its all) comes to mid thigh, and the outerskirts open up and are long and swishy. They’ve all got little lace coverings over their eyes, and mostly different headdresses. So, from what I saw there are a few cat ears, some antlers (Pearl Rhein has such cool antlers). A few are unique and I think the main characters have those. So Mary has this cute weird thing that I’m not sure what it is, but I like it. And Marya has this golden crownlike thing that also looks like it could be wings or something dunno. But it’s unique, and her dress is backless and wow. (Gay much?)

·       So, there are no gender norms here. Here there are men dancing with men (They’ve all got mostly the same outfit. A green fancy war uniformlike jacket and bear mask (I think but I’m not sure might have just been the lighting, that Andrey’s is silver while everyone else has gold.) and women dancing with women. And different gender couples too, but sometimes the women are leading, and it’s so fucking amazing and normalized. The first time I saw that I may have teared up just thinking about how casually it’s shown. And in a play about 19th century Russia no less.

·       Okay, so it has to be said, but Mary is wearing something so beautiful, and she looks like she’s having the time of her life dancing with Katrina. And I choose to believe it’s actually Mary (not some other role) who is finally getting the adoration and attention she deserves. Katrina spins her around, and dotes on her, and it’s just beautiful. Like she literally lifts her up at one point and spins her. During this scene, not all the women and men lift their partners but Katrina does, and Mary looks so damn happy.

·       And Marya is dancing with either a female ensemble member  who is Courtney Bassett I think. The veil hides her face, and they were farther away. But wow. Is Marya a good leader. She just sensually circles her partner, and like trails her lips over her shoulders and chest, and wow.

·       Also it is a costume tournament and Hélène’s got on these dark angel wings like someone put her in the victoria’s secret show right now.

·       But back to the actual plot. So, Natasha and Anatole are dancing and whatever. It’s all very sweet and whatnot, but back to the ensemble.

·       So at the climax of the song, the dance couples life each other’s veils and masks and all grab wine glasses with different water levels to change frequency. They dip their fingers in the water, and literally trace the rim of the glass to use them as instruments like what the fuck why did this not win best score and orchestra?!??!?!?! It’s the haunting and soothing sound (yeah I know I’ve used these adjectives a lot, but it’s true). This goes on, and they all stop at the same time except for Hélène who keeps going with a spotlight on her for a bit longer before cutting off with a flourish.

·       Oh and another thing, Sonya is not at the ball. Everyone else is in costume, but Sonya is still wearing her white dress, but she comes out to do the wine glass thing.

Natasha and Anatole pledge their love for each other, and scene. 6�1��