#i legit just woke up omg

[nightmarenova-writer]

~Story Drabble Time!!~ #4

(P.S. - Please read the other p.s segments in Story Drabble Time #1 + 2 in order to be filled in on some ��important’ information! But other wise, hope you enjoy!)

She had blood on her hands. Never wanted, stained by the ones who dared to touch her loved ones with sullied hands. Forced to fight to protect those close to her. Her pacifist nature thrown to the wind when such times arise, a moment of fight or die with innocent lives as the price.

She has blood on her hands. From battling Gods to divine beings of vast natures, from demons to angels, and from humans to other humanoid races. She fought them with the will to keep those she called her people safe from their cruelty. Gaining scars as tallies of the many battles she survived, she won. And resetting with each rebirth.

She never wanted the blood that’s on her hands. But she knew that not all situations can be solved with pacifistic intentions. She knew because she lived through it the first time she was born, when envious, greedy, power hungry minor Gods wanted the power she held. A small child of seven years old was exposed to the tainting nature of those who would kill in order to get what they wanted. And joined her people in the dark, bloody acts of war from then on until her last breaths.

She joined when she didn’t need to, but did so as her duty of the next monarch. Fighting alongside her parents for the freedom of her homeland. Watching those she bonded with fall from heavy injuries, crying out from the pain as they died right in front of her eyes. Those scenes never leaving her mind for many lifetimes to come. Flashing behind her eyelids when she closed them for even a brief moment.

Even while knowing they would never curse her, forsake her for their deaths, she simply couldn’t help but feel the guilt eat away at her. Even more so when she failed to save the two she loved more than anything during that lifetime. Her parents. Even now she can remember it all clearly. The guillotine, the citizens watching in silent horror, the enemy guards stationed to prevent anyone from pulling a last minuet rebellion, and….them.

The ones that started it all, those minor Gods that destroyed the peace of her home all for her power. Sitting in a clear view of her parents, smiling with malicious pride at their failure. But behind that smile was fury of not having what they waged this war for in their grasp. Having been hidden away from them in order to protect her, watching in a desperate plea to break away from the floating protective cage, and join back in the fight.

Everything else happened so fast, breaking free from the cage, crash landing into the crowd and fighting through the guards and gods stationed there to get to them. So close, so close she was, just a mere 6 feet away and she could release them when it all came crumbling down. The ropes that held the blades where cut by stray arrows, the last words they said uttered softly as their heads where cut off, and the blood that sprayed out reaching the tips of her armored feet. Frozen in disbelief, unable to accept what just happened rendered her guard down. Leading to a sword being impaled from her back through her chest. The culprit being the leader behind the minor Gods declaration of war.

The only things she felt at that moment was the pain of her soul being ripped apart and put back together, a pain that would occur should any of her loved ones die by ulterior means, along with hysteric rage. Leading her to take the head of the one who started it all with a swift motion of her arm, letting the body and head slump to the ground as the chaos around her came to a stop. Slowly stumbling towards the bodies of her parents, giving her people one last speech before succumbing to her own wounds. As the tears she had yet to shed trailed down her face, caressing her in the unsaid place of grief…..

….later awaking in the body of a newborn, inside a entirely different world did she know she would never truly die.

She had blood on her hands. She has blood on her hands. She never wanted blood on her hands. But with every lifetime she’s lived she soon learned that pacifism won’t always be an option, especially when a world’s default rules where kill or be killed. And so, she trained endlessly. To protect and fight for her loved one. To protect and fight for the innocent and the ones in need. She decided that if she needed to fight with the intent to kill, then that would be the last option.

It didn’t matter, it would always be the last option. After all she promised her late first parents to protect and love those she bonded with everything she was. Never again would she lose her people the way she lost them, even when their death was inevitable. It would at least be by natural causes and surrounded by those they loved. Never by the malicious intent of others. She would make sure of that even when she couldn’t go back to their worlds then, she had her ways.

After living so many lives, she would grow out of the guilt that ate at her heart and mind, with the help of her soul brothers and sisters. Slowly taking baby steps to help her with the nightmares and flashbacks she would receive in times of great stress. And in time using those memories to fuel her determination to honor those who had fallen in that war, and keep her final promise.

She would live by this promise for the rest of her endless lifetimes no matter the situation, or so help her and those who drew her ire. For they should pray for their existence.

[littencloud9]

//

[tehrogueva]

Eeeee! Is Doc and Anx! 👀😍🥰

Some Doc doodles i did because why not teehee

Doc/Therapist!Sans belongs to @tehrogueva !

Teenee Anxiety Sans belongs to @hheisa !

[cryptic--writing]

Hiya 👋🏻

It’s not really a kinktober request, but maybe you’ll consider doing it? No pressure though))

Ajaf era James, where he was drinking a lot. He understands that that affects him and turns him into a monster. He’s afraid he’s going to hurt reader, but he can’t break up with her for her safety, he loves her too much. So he comes up with stupid plan of making her break up with him because of his behavior? So he starts to undermine her efforts, e.g. the meals she cooks “could have been better”; makes fun of her simple 9-5 job , saying that’s she lucky she can have a relaxed job cause he’s earning most of the money and covering the bills. Although she’s hurt, she is staying as she loves him and thinks it’s the alcohol talking. James, realizing his plan doesn’t work, makes the final move: after they have sex one evening, he tells her that groupies do a much better job. That’s too much for her to take so she leaves him.

Unfortunately, after break up he feels even worse. Lars is worried so he interrogates him, and drunken James confesses. So Lars finds reader and locks her in the studio with James for them to reconcile (can we have smut here)?

Few weeks later when they start recording black album, James plays her a song (which will become nothing else matters), saying that it’s his way of telling everyone how much she means to him?

I’m sorry I can’t write short asks 🥲🥲🥹🥹

You are a great writer so I really hope this will become a story 🙏🏻

hihi!

and omg its here. took me 9 days to write it lmao but yeah

i cant explain how much I loved this idea pls marry me annon

also ~~~ means POV change (yes there is James and reader pov)

this fic has legit everything so I hope y'all enjoy it bc I busted my ass on it

some parts may be confusing idk

anyways

word count: 10623

warnings: mentions of achohol/drugs, death is mentioned, toxic relationship, break up, angst, smut, fluff, I'm prob forgetting smth

OR SO I THOUGHT (1989)

It had been a rough couple months with James. I felt determined to help him with his only worsening alcoholism, though he only continued to shut me out. I could feel the guilt when he was around, but it didn't make him stop. I tried, I really did, encouraging him to talk to me, to help me help him. 

It was the same sad scene every night. James would come home, probably around midnight, and I couldn't sleep without him next to me, so I was up, all those hours, wondering as I tossed and turned as to where he might be. All I knew is I was in for a scary time when he got back, but I eventually grew tough skin to deal with this.  Understood that this wasn't safe for me, or him, and I stressed that so, so much to him, but James never understood. Well, he never told me he did. Maybe there was more going on in his heart I never knew about. But, of course, I could never discover as he would always close himself off so much.

It was another day where the cycle would repeat. I woke up at three am to the sound of James stumbling in, mumbling something under his breath before he plopped down on the bed beside me, and I knew well enough to hold my tongue, to not provoke him. I pretended I was asleep, which he believed, trying, or at least I think he was trying, to snuggly up next to me, but he had his back to me. His arms weren't around me. Maybe that's all I yearn for now, to be loved and held.

Once I could finally go back to sleep, I was awoken not much later by the sound of my blaring alarm. It was seven am, time to get ready for work. James is a heavy sleeper, he never woke up from my alarms, though I always rushed to turn them off, just in case they would wake him. Slipping out of bed with a groan, I observed his sprawled out body, his shoes still on. I'm glad he made it to the bed this night, as others he would end up on the couch, or in his car, or somewhere I had no idea of.

I pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, like a mother caring for her ill son on a school day. I slipped off his shoes, trying to get him more comfortable. I scurried towards the closet to grab my work clothes for the day before getting changed in the bathroom and rummaging through our medicine cabinet, finding some pain killers and then getting him a cold glass of water, leaving the items on our bedside table. I paused to watch over him as he slept, his slow, steady breaths that rose and fell from his chest. I loved him too much to change this lifestyle. I loved every part of him, and if this was part of him, then so be it. I'll help him get better. He loves every part of me, no matter what, right?

Or so I thought.

I slipped on my heels, walking into our messy kitchen, the sink filled with unwashed dishes James was supposed to do. But, he isn't well, so I must do them for him. After washing the dishes, I brewed coffee, poured myself a cup and left some for him and began to make breakfast. James had been off lately, different to how he already was off, but that slowly became part of our normal, so one new change did not stick out too much, but this one did. I don't know what it is. He just felt… lifeless, cold, I guess. I decided to make one of his favorite breakfast meals, a nice, warm and fluffy stack of pancakes with eggs and bacon, cooked just the way he liked it. I spent extra time trying to make it the best I had. I knew they would probably be cold by the time he woke up, but hopefully he'd appreciate my effort. I ate some eggs before scrambling for a notepad, getting a pen to write him a sweet good morning note, explaining I was at work, when I'd be home, how much I loved him, and where the other meds were if he needed them. I wrote these notes almost daily, but this one I made longer and more love filled. I figured he would want my love.

Or so I thought.

I came home around six pm, the evening traffic being worse than usual. Instead of seeing James' car out of the driveway and the house dark, he was still home. The soft sound of the TV buzzing was easy to hear as I unlocked the door, walking in to see him on the couch, leaning against the couch arm and holding his head up with his hand. He was too engrossed in whatever he was watching to nice me walk in, so I tried to have him notice my presence.

“Im back, Jamie,” I said softly to not startle him, my voice filled with love as I moved to sit next to him, he looked over at me, like a confused puppy. “How are you feeling?” I asked, gently stroking his back, though he moved from my touch.

“Oh, hi. Yeah, I'm fine. Busy right now, yeah?” He mumbled as a response as he resumed watching TV once more, brushing me off with his simple, cold words. I knew I had to respect his space and not probe at him, so I just nodded with a sigh and got up, slipping off my shoes and setting my bags down,

“Are you hungry?” I asked, digging through the fridge to get things to make dinner. He didn't answer. “James, are you hungry? I can make dinner,” I offered again, noticing the cleared plate that I had made him for breakfast, the note missing. I assumed he threw it away, just like the others. I never saw them in the trash cans, but after everything piles up, you can just assume. I heard James sigh from the couch, “Uh, yeah, sure, whatever. Breakfast was cold, so I threw most of it away anyways,” He admitted, and I felt a small ache in my heart. I thought he liked the dish since there was none left on his plate, but clearly he proved me different. Why I even put effort in these things, I don't know. THats a lie, I do. I love him, and want him to know it, to feel it. I should’ve been doing this as part of my own insecurities, but to make sure he knows I'm there for him, always.

I thought of what to make for dinner, seeing if he had eaten anything since breakfast, only finding empty beer bottles and a half eaten bag of chips. It was probably only the alcohol making him act like this. I decided to make steak with potatoes, something he normally liked and said I made pretty well. It was easy to make, and I know it was one of his favorites I made him, but normally I would wait for a bigger step in life, like celebrating something about the band, or something in my career, but I knew he deserved it still.

I finished after 45 minutes, preparing the plate to be gorgeous, something I wish I could hear from his lips for once. But, he loved me. I know he thinks I'm gorgeous, he wouldn't have to tell me. Right?

“Jamie, the food's ready, I made steak,” I said warmly with a smile, setting a dinner table for us. I didn't get a response, just a grunt as he stood from the couch and walked his near empty bottle of beer, finishing it off and grabbing another from the fridge. I sat at the table, waiting for him to come and join me. His eyes landed on the plate, pulling out the chair to sit down. I couldn't read his emotions, he didn't look too happy, but he didn't look mad. He just looked.. plain. James grabbed his fork and began to eat, the metal scraping against the porcelain plate, waiting for his nod of approval. It never came. He didn't talk, but not in a way like he was mad. He just didn't speak. But he didn't need to, he didn't need to say the things I knew already. I took a breath and began to eat, and it might've been one of the best I had cooked in awhile. Perfect tenderness, juiciness, seasoning, and cooked perfectly, something you could get at a restaurant, now in our home. 

“What do you think, baby? I think it's pretty good, no?” I inquired, seeking the validation I craved from him. He just shrugged.

“It's fine, I guess. It could've been better.”

It shouldn't have hurt. It really shouldn't. He just didn't like the dinner I cooked. The dinner I poured my time into. The dinner I made was special. Special for him. But, what did I know? I doubt he meant it. That's why it definitely shouldn't have hurt. He was drinking. ITs just the alcohol making him act like this. He would never say something like that to me. Why did tears prick at my eyes. Why did it actually hurt?

“Oh, uhm…. I'm sorry, I'll do better next time, do you want me to make you something else..?” I choked out, fighting back my tears.

“No, don't waste your time making something mediocre, yeah?” James insisted, insulting me bitterly once again.

I took a shaky breath, another sting to my heart. Hes. Drunk. This can't be what he means, right?

Or so I thought.

“Alright, uh, do you wanna cuddle on the couch..? We can watch anything you want? Or not watch anything, just sit together.” I offered again, pleading to get love from my partner.

“I was probably gonna go to bed. You mind cleaning up?” He pushed me away again, and every word stung. I want him to see me, to notice me, just to love me. But I reminded myself again and again, he's drunk, he doesn't mean it, he doesn't mean it. I'm just being sensitive and pathetic. Maybe it's just my hormones.

I nodded, forcing a smile, “Sure, yeah, go ahead and  go to bed, I'll clean up and join you in a bit, ok?” I informed him and he just nodded and got up, walking to the bedroom, still carrying his battle with him. My eyes stung, and once he was out of sight, I felt tears streak my face, but I continued to fight them away. I quickly got up to clear James’ and my own plate, then  cleaning the kitchen, washing everything with great care to keep it tidy.

I came into the bedroom, James half asleep under the sheets. His hair was astray as he slept near the edge, his limbs tight together. The now empty beer bottle sat on the nightstand, another reminder of James’ habits. I glanced around before getting changed into my sleep clothes, a nice little night dress James had gotten me for Valentines Day earlier that year. It was nice and pink with some fluffy pieces at the bottom and lace dancing across it. It flowed nicely and hugged my body in the right places, going down to a bit above my knees. It had some other pieces, like stockings and a garter. In reality, it was more so lingerie than a bed set. But, it was one of James’ favorites for me to wear. Maybe this would make him open up more, or just show me the love I'm craving. I crawled in beside him, though I doubt he noticed the weight accompanying him, trying to cuddle closer, pressing myself against his back.

“Jamie?” I asked softly, kissing the back of his head.

“Hm.” James answered in a sleepy tone, barely aware of my presence.

“You doing ok? You've been acting differently…” I kept a quiet tone, my hands gently running down his arms and back as I pondered on what may be hurting him so much.

He took a deep and large breath, sighing, “Yeah, I'm fine… why do you ask..?” James mumbled in response.

“Nothing, you just seem off, I guess,” I rushed out. I didn't want to upset him, but he just seemed so soft and sweet, something I hadn't seen from him awhile.

“Oh, well, alright then… love you..” He mumbled out, slowly succumbing to sleep after saying the words I knew were true.

Or so I thought.

The office today was exhausting. Absurdly exhausting. And infuriating. A stuck up and snotty boss whos full of himself ordering me around to do his mundane dirty work, my co workers giving me side glances of judgment for my more rushed than normal appearance, not having as much time this morning as I had to help James with yet another hangover, getting him to the bathroom in time before he painted our bed green in vomit, making him some foods to keep him comfortable and having to buy more pain killers, my 3rd trip this month, all before heading to work. All I wanted was to come home, sleep, relax, and be held by the love of my life. 

As simple as an office job 9-5 may seem, how it is not. No one else wants to do their own work, always needing some kind of assistance, and of course, I none the wiser, agree to help them.

It was another late evening with heavy traffic, not allowing me to come home until seven, again. I had stopped at the market, grabbing food and other supplies we were running low on. And more beer. 

The door to the house was locked, something that had been happening more and more as I came home, only growing worries on James' worsening habits, the idea of drugs coming to mind, but I tried to shake it from my head, just wanting a nice time at home. 

I unlocked the door, the house quiet except for the soft strum of a guitar in James’ mini studio, which was just an extra bedroom we had turned into a spot for him to store his instruments and for his practeing. We hoped one day for it to become a nursery, a room for our future child.

I followed the music, the half open door allowing me to peek at James, hunched over one of his explorers, fiddling with the strings as he danced around the fretboard with his talented fingers. I smiled at the sweet sight, slowly entering the room.

“Whatcha working on?” I asked, announcing my arrival home. James looked up at me, at first a smile on his face, but he quickly dropped it. His actions only confused me further.

“Uhm, not much, just… a couple riffs and stuff for the new album..” He answered, still picking at the strings with something unreadable in his eyes.

I nodded, smiling at him, “It sounds good, I'm excited to hear it,” I responded before speaking again, “Work was so exhausting today, I don't know how I put up with it anymore,” I said with a laughy sigh, trying to lighten the statement.

James just shrugged. “I mean, I don't really see how a nine to five can really be that tiring,” He disputed, but his tone sounded unsure, shaky like how it did when we first met. But there was a force, an anger of some kind.

I was even more lost with his shift in attitude, “Well, what do you mean? You don't work one, you wouldn't know,” I argued back with more aggression than I meant.

“Yeah, I don't work one. Your job is light and relaxing feather work compared to the shit I do. You are out doing twelve hours a day for months on end at a studio, being out for a year just to tour and shit, you don't make anything working that job, I'm the one paying the bills with my money.” James spat, cold and bitter. His words rung in my ears, repeating each syllable like a painful stab. My brain scrambled for reasons to understand his reaction and response to my complaint of work.

James' piercing blue eyes still starred up and me, my mouth agape in shock. Why would he act like this? He loved me. He just told me he did the other week before we went to bed. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. What is wrong in his life that I don't know about, that he wont tell me about.

My eyes scanned the room, searching for anything that might explain this behavior of his. Truly, anything that would help explain such a swift and sudden change in his mood, but deep down ZI knew, I was just looking for bottles, cans, cups, glasses, anything that would contain the fizzy and bitter liquid he loved. The only thing I could find was a half empty bottle, freshly opened next to the chair he sat in. That's it, that's why he's acting like this. He's just drunk. He doesn't mean it. He doesn't mean it.

Or so I thought.

Even with my new found reasoning, his words still hurt a great amount, the pain struggling to leave. A simple insult, just telling me how I don't work as hard as him, that my job isn't as crucial as his. I took a breath, trying to control and reign in my emotions before I could meltdown in front of him for such a stupid reason. Drunken words, not filled or backed by any true thoughts. Right?

But they do say drunk words are sober thoughts.

“I- well,” I tried to speak, but I couldn't come up with the words. What would I say? I didn't want to make him any more upset than he seemed to be, but I didn't want to submit to him so easily, especially after such disrespect. But I knew better. I don't lash out, I keep him happy. We will work this out together, we have to.

“I'm just gonna go to bed,” I muttered under my breath, fighting back tears that needed to spill out, James rude comments only adding fuel to the fire that had been burning in me all day. Not a fire of anger, passion or desire, but a fire of hurt. Once I shut the bedroom door behind me silently, I broke. The bottle shattered, and my tears overflowed my face, covering my mouth as I cried, trying to calm myself down as I got ready for bed at such an early hour, even forgetting to make James something for dinner.

It was my day off, a relaxing Saturday I could use to have some me time, as James was gonna be out with the band all day as the brainstormed for the new album, which was still taking its baby steps into production, nowhere near any concept for songs yet. At Least that I knew of. 

James had been really tense this week, and I had tried everything to get him to relax and cheer up. Taking him out to his favorite restaurants after I came home, making him home cooked meals, getting him gifts and all things. Though there was one thing I hadn't tried. Sex.

I spent all day dolling myself up, wanting to be as bare and beautiful as possible for James. I shaved everywhere, leaving not a single trace of hair anywhere except for my head,, of course. I scrubbed every nook and cranny of my body, putting on James’ favorite set we bought together, doing my makeup just the way he liked it, lighting the candles he got for my birthday, and dousing myself in his favorite perfume I owned. All the lights were out, except for the lowlights of the candles in the bedroom. I laid on the mattress, waiting for James to come home, hoping this would finally get him to unwind from his stress.

I heard James’ keys jingle in the door, and I could feel myself getting more and more excited for his arrival. This would be one of the few times I would have him sober, as when they worked on material they rarely drank or did anything crazy, thankfully. His shoes thudded on the wooden floors, a sigh escaping his lips as I heard him slowly walk towards the bedroom.

“Are you home?” He called out to me before approaching the bedroom door, taking in the sight of me and the room I had spent the evening preparing for this moment.

“Hey baby,” I mused with a smirk, looking up at him with loving eyes. His eyes met mine, looking warm for the first time in awhile.

“What's all this for?” He asked,  still taking in the well decorated bedroom and my sexy form.

“Wanted to help you relax… you've been so stressed,” I replied, grabbing his hand to try and bring him closer, to get into the bed with me.

It didn't take much more conniving, and James had given in pretty quickly to my offer. He was being more loud than normal, probably because we hadn't had the chance to be intimate like this in awhile. I loved this so much. Well, I loved being close to James again. He wasn't hitting the right spots or focussing on pleasuring me much, but that's fine, he's the one who needed to relax anyways, and I have enough time on my hands if I wanted to please myself, I guess. It didn't take long for him to come, pulling out and painting himself on my abdomen and my breath labored, coming down from…. Well, not an orgasm, but being close to one. James was beat after that, and I don't blame him for that. He had been so busy recently, I was happy we just got to share a moment like this together again. 

I laid close to him under the sheets as we both recovered, James already half asleep. I had his hand in mine, kissing each knuckle of his and more, pouting all of my love into that moment. I looked up, having felt James’ eyes on me for a while. I met his blues, and there was a slight guilt in them, a gestation and regret. But, it didn't last long as he blinked it all away, taking another breath. 

“How are you feeling now? Did it make it any better?” I asked, my voice heavy with sleep as I lazily continued to press kisses to his hand.

“I mean, yeah, I guess… It wasn't like, amazing though… I've had better, normally the groupies can do a bit more than that, y’know?” James said cooly, acting as if the words he just said didn't mean anything and had no weight to them.

“What?” Was all I could muster out, the tears already filling my eyes as I tried to process all of this.

“You heard me, the groupies normally do better.” 

The words came so normally from his mouth, as if he was just telling me the date and time. But no, he was comparing me to prostitutes, previous women he has slept with. I began to cry, not just out of hurt and sadness, but this time anger. How could he say something like that to me?

And then the worst part hit.

He was sober.

Something I would've wanted more than anything else just a few days ago is now what is causing this experience to be even worse than it is with the horrible comparison and insults James had spewn at me. He meant it. Alcohol was toying with his brain, making him into the aggravated man I had grown to know quite well over the years.

“Are… are you serious? After everything? I put myself through hell to deal with this, to go to work, to do EVERYTHING for you! I have tried so hard James. And Yet you still compare me to them?! Sluts with prices on their heads?!” I cried, anger and hurt filling the fire in my eyes, and I could swear I saw Jamw\es’ cold attitude falter for just a moment. Maybe it was what I was hoping for, that it was all an act, that he truly did love me deep down, but maybe he didn't. Maybe this is the truth I had been hiding from all these months.

James didn't res;ond, just sighing with a shrug.

That's what pushed me over the edge.

“Are you fucki ng serious? You're not even gonna try and fight for this? Get out of here! We're done. Since you don't appreciate anything I do for you nowadays, I don't want you in here anymore. Pack your shit and leave.” I cursed at him as I continued to sob, processing the moments that passed, feeling as if the earth was slowing, each second hitting me hard and heavy.

I could see a slight guilt in James’ eyes, and as much I wanted to believe it was true, I couldn't give it in myself to do that anymore. I couldn't keep living this lie. He nodded, staying silent as I cried, slipping on his clothes and grabbing some things he'd need for the night.

“I loved you because you loved me, or so I thought you loved me, truly you don't give a shit!” I called out again, hearing James breath hitch at my harsh words, but he just left. No goodbye, the final words spoken to us only filled with hate and hurt, though millions went unspoken.

— —- — —> A FEW MONTHS LATER…

Not a lot has happened since I broke up with James, but a lot has changed. Maybe for the better. I miss him terribly, but a lot of weight is off of my shoulders now. I'm no longer worrying about having to make elaborate meals for him, or to do everything in my power to make him happy as [possible, watching my words at all times to make sure I wont say anything that might upset him. It was a large change. The house is still cold like how it was with him, but its a different kind of cold. There is no warmth of another body. Its quiet, no more TV static and laughter or guitar. Work had only gotten more tiring, but I had recently gotten promoted, something I had wanted for a long, long time.

I haven't spoken to James since we broke up. I know he had come by the next day, as when he left that night he only took clothes to last him the night, and when I came home from work, all of his belongings were gone, and his spare key was left on the counter, all of his music gear out of the house, leaving me a now empty room, not to house his guitars, and no longer holding the hopes and dreams of a future child.

Or so I thought all of his stuff was gone.

I came home after work, the house dark and silent, turning on the lights before going into the former music room, which had now become my office for the time being, as I needed one for the promotion, to be able to have a comfortable spot where I could do other work tasks from home. I set down my purse, sitting in my computer chair and sliding off my heels. I saw something in the corner of my eye, something that somehow had never caught my eye all these months. 

An ashtray, repurposed to hold James’ many guitar picks. It was behind a lamp that was in the corner of the room on an end table. There was more than just guitar pics, but one of his rings. Like the ones he always wore on stage, the cool reflective metal that shone brightly under the spotlight. I paused, only having gotten one heel off, so confused as to how I never noticed. I sat in this same chair, facing the same direction, taking my heels off the same each day. I quickly got the other off before walking towards the table, picking up the ashtray, having remnants of cigarette butts and ash, some of which covered the pics. There had to be at least 20 of those pics, I don't know how James could forget such a thing, along with one of his more favorite rings. He wore it when we met, but I never made the connection as to that being the reason he left it. I missed him, yes, but having these almost made it worse. Like the world was teasing me that he is gone, that I won't be able to be held by him again, because he doesnt love me anymore. How I still love him, I don't know. Part of me still wants to believe he never meant any of it, but the chances of that being true is slim now. But, I didn't have the heart to call him, to return them to him. He would have come to get them by now, right? 

I picked up the cold metal, holding it in my hand before slipping it on my ring finger. It was too large, slipping off quite easily. I tried the next, my middle finger, and it fit well enough to not fall off. It felt so wrong to wear, but it made me feel closer to him. I hated it, but I loved it. A little piece of him to be with me always. ‘God, I sound like a wife mourning her husband who died in a war.’ Was all I could think to myself, setting back down the ash tray and taking off the ring before sitting back down in my office chair, trying to shake my head of the matter so I could focus on the important task at hand, work.

I spent about two hours on the assignment before finishing it among other things, now exhausted even further. I stumbled towards the bedroom, changing into my pajama pants and a sleep shirt. Since the break up, I have refused to wear or even look at the clothes sJames had bought me. I didn't feel any desire to wear those things now that I knew he would be the one to see me in them. I never really wanted to wear clothes like that, but knowing he liked it made me like it. Now that he's gone, so is that enjoyment. I layed down on the mattress, sinking down as it swallowed me and the day whole. I had gotten used to the loneliness of sleeping alone, even after having a body next to me for the last four years. Maybe it was an easier adjustment as towards the end it was like sleeping next to no one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The last few months are hard to describe. I can't explain it, I really can't. I've never been more lonely in my life, drowning all of my sorrows in the bitter bottles that wasted away each night and day. I've tried putting my energy elsewhere, focusing more on the band than I was earlier, trying to pour my emotions into guitar and lyrics, but nothing works. Nothing matches what I once had. What I threw away. What I ruined. Though, all my life, through all my struggles, there was one thing I learned.

Mask your emotions, hide your turmoil. It's something I had quickly gotten good at from a young age.

Or so I thought.

I went out for drinks with Lars to discuss lyrics and other parts of music for the record, as we normally had for our other productions and everything. We had another few weeks before we went into the studio, where we planned to record for many months, wanting this release to be the best we ever had. 

Before I had even gone out to the bar with Lars, I had already had a few bars at home, or what I had tried to make into my home. It was a home, yeah, but it didn't feel homey. There was no warmth or touch to it to make it seem whimsical or joyful. I know I have a problem, but what is there I can do. 

When I got there, Lars’s car was already outside, and I knew I was late by thirty minutes, having to build up the motivation to leave the house for a reason other than food, so trying to get up and socialize and talk about important stuff was not on my top choices to do.

I trudged in, my eyes darting around for the Danish, who was never that hard to find. And as I expected, I found him somewhat quickly, taking a seat next to him and ordering a drink for myself.

“Hey man, where the fock have you been? Been waiting here ages for ya,” Lars commented with his laugh, sipping on his own drink.

I just shrugged, “Sorry man, there was just…” I tried to think of a reasonable excuse, but none could come to mind. “Traffic, y’know, it gets bad around five or six, all those people getting off of work,” I explained, thinking I was an expert at this facade.

“Alright, whatever you say. Let's get to work now, yeah?” Lars tried to believe me, but it was clear he knew there was something more to what I said. 

I just nodded, “Yeah,” I answered, and Lars took out his notepad where he already had some ideas for songs. The mask was as strong as stone, no way to see in.

Or so I thought.

 Lars looked back to me, a thought popping back in his mind, “Traffic? There's normally not much in this area, I mean before you moved out of that place, shit, traffic was bad, but here? No way,” Lars questioned me, no longer believing a word I had said. 

“Well, I guess it was just different today…” I muttered, “Let's just start now, leave it be,”. Lars agreed reluctantly, and soon we were sharing ideas sas I jotted down lyrics, Lars taking turns as we debated on the new project.

Of course, as we worked, we were drinking. Me more than him, and it was getting me tipsy, and then drunk. Normally we wouldn't get drunk during lyric writing, just a bit.. Wobbly, I guess. We were just reviewing the lyrics for the third song we were jotting up and I had ordered another drink.

“Jesus man, you only focused on drinking? We got shit to do!” Lars complained to me, and I just shrugged. “Sorry, got my priorities here…” I joked, and Lars only gave a pity laugh.

“Is something up? You've been acting weird as hell for the last few months. We barely see you anymore, and when we do, you're late.” He informed me firmly, clearly not wanting to put up with my demeanor much longer.

“I'm fine, didn't I already tell you that?” I responded, and at this point I just wanted to go home. “Well, you can tell me it a million fuckin’ times and that doesnyt mean Ill believe you,” He rebuttled, and I sighed. “So, what's up with you?”

I didn't want to answer, well sober me would've deflected. But drunk me? He doesn't have much of a filter. Who does when they're drunk anyways?

“Nothings up with me, just dealing with shit…” I answered, taking another sip of my drink.

“Ok, well dealing with what?” 

“The breakup, and everything,” I answered, my eyes avoiding Lars’s own.

“Ohh, yeah, I see. What happened anyways? You never went into detail, just saying she kicked you out in the middle of the night. The fuck did you do to her?” He laughed, but the sting of the memories still remained.

“I.. well, I told her she was a shit cook, lazy, didnt work as hard me, and that groupies fuck better,” I admitted. Lars' face changed from a small smile to a look of shock.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah”

“What would make you say something like that?! That's totally messed up!” I knew this would be shocking, especially coming from me to say something like that. But I didn't expect him to be this shocked.

“No, I did it for a reason, I'm not just some asshole! I didn't want to break up with her, and I didnt want her to break up with me, but I knew I had to get her to break up with me. I keep drinking, and it makes me into… I don't know, I'm a different person and I don't want to hurt her. The only option was to force her to break up with me.” I tried to explain, but Lars was quick to respond.

“Only option?! Have you heard of rehab? Getting help? Did she just let you waste away?”

“I didn't want to go to rehab either, and no, she did try to help, but I don't want help…” It was getting embarrassing at this point, showing how weak I had become.

“James, not everything is about what you want! There's things you need to do, but you don't want to. Those are just as important.” He paused, hoping my worlds would process through me as he thought of an idea. “How about this, clean up your act a bit and I'll get her back over here and you can go back to paradise, alright?” Lars offered and I perked up a bit.

“How the hell do you expect her to come back to me after all of that?”

“I never said she'd come back to you, I said I can get her over here, make you guys talk or something.” He corrected me, and I just rolled my eyes.

“Well how are you gonna get her to come here? She probably hates me at this point,” 

“I have my ways, we were closer friends than you probably remember,” Lars’ words didn't help. He could never explain his plan, and that's what always ticked me off about him.

“Fine, whatever, work your midget magic or something,” I muttered under my breath.

“What did you just say to me?” 

“Nothing, nothing, just do whatever it is, alright?” 

“Fine.”

— — — — > A WEEK LATER…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time moves slow these days. But not in a bad way, it was nice that life was hitting the breaks a bit instead of the pedal. Though, that joy wouldn't last long.

I sat in my office chair at work, working on some papers my boss had handed me a few minutes ago. He was giving me stack after stack after stack of papers today, all coming with my promotion I got a bit back. More money means more work, and more work means more money, so I guess it isn't all too bad in the long run. I glanced up from my paper, eyeing the now double repurposed ashtray, one being made for the intents of cigarette butts, then guitar pics, and now it held my keys and some other trinkets, including one singular guitar pic of James, one of his favorites. 

I was startled out of my thoughts by hearing the office phone ring, quickly reaching to grab it, assuming it was a customer call.

“Hi, this is Capital Advisors, how can I help you?” I offered in a cheery tone, but the voice I heard response was not what I had expected.

“Hey man, look, it's Lars, something happened to James, you mind heading down to the studio?”

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Sure, Lars and I were close, but we haven't talked much since James and I’s break up. My words caught in my throat, processing the second half. “Something happened to James? What happened? Is he ok?” Even though he proved himself worthy of a break up, I still couldn't shake my love and worry for him.

“Uhhhh, yeah, no, sure he's fine, but you just needa come to the studio?” Lars rambled, not sure how to keep up his lie.

“Ok, yeah, of course, when do I need to be there?” My mind was racing, Lars wasn't being direct with what happened, so my mind could only think of the worst. He always poland things off to make them not seem as bad as they were. What if James fell and hurt himself? Overdosed on something? Only darker thoughts hit my mind.

“Like, now, this can't wait,” Lars demanded, and I had no choice but to agree.

“Yeah, I will be there as soon as I can, ok? Tell him I’ll be there soon, I don't want him to worry,” I gave in and then Lars thanked me and hung up. 

Now I don't know what to do. My boss wasn't the type of person to just let me leave whenever I want, and I had already promised to Lars I would be there immediately. Though, my worries got the best of me and I quickly began to gather my stuff together. I grabbed my keys and my purse, quickly heading to my boss's office. 

I always hated going in here, it was freezing since the AC was always blasted, and it reeked of musty air freshener. I gently knocked on the door before I heard his baritone voice respond, telling me to come in. I entered, seeing him sitting there, filing papers. 

“Can I help you?” He said in a monotone voice, opening and shutting cabinets.

“Yes, I need to leave, like right now. ITs an emergency, family matter,” I tried to briefly explain, but it didn't take long for him to come up with a new response.

“Emergency? Of what? Is someone dying?” His eyes looked up from his papers, meeting mine as he waited for an answer.

“I… Well, I don't know,” I muttered, and it was true, I really didn't. With Lars’ vagueness, I tru;y didn't have a reason to not assume James was already on his deathbed.

“How can you not know?” He questioned me as if I was stupid, then noticing my pale and shaky look of true worry, “Fine, yes, you can go, but you're leaving three hours early. I want you working those hours back tomorrow. Understood?” He finally made an offer, and I quickly accepted without hesitation.

“Yes, thank you, and I'm sorry,” I responded with a smile and a nod, quickly leaving the office and getting to my car as fast as possible. Lars never specified where exactly the studio was, but I had been there a few times with James to hear them practice and record. I did my best to remember the way there, speeding in some places and having to make a couple U turns to figure out the exact spot. The whole time my head was buzzing, I could not think of one normal reason as to why James would want me there. He clearly didn’t like me much towards the end, even though I still like to think he never meant it and that it was only the alcohol talking, but I was probably wrong. Why did I still care so much after being so wrongfully disrespected? Part of me still loved him. Still wanted to wake up next to him every morning, hear the faint strumming of a guitar whenever I came home from work. Now those days were gone, and never looked like they would return. I still worried for the worst for James, endless horrid possibilities arising in my brain, all trying to piece the puzzle together.

When I finally pulled up, I saw two other cars out in front, not seeing James’ car, assuming Lars gave him a ride and KIrk giving Jason one. No cop cars or ambulances or fire trucks, so he isn't dying, or maybe they already left. Maybe I was too late? 

I quickly got out of the car, almost running to the studio door, knocking until Lars came and opened it for me.

“Hey! There you are, took ya long eno-” Lars was quickly cut off by my own anxieties.

“Where is he? Is he ok? Was I not fast enough?” I quickly voiced out, my eyes darting around the inside and searching for him.

“Yeah, relax. He's fine. He's inside-”

“If he's fine then why did you make me come here from work?! I thought he was dying or something crazy,” I cut him off, questioning his efforts.

“No, none of that, you worry too much. He just wants to talk with you,” Lars answered, and my previous worries and a new suspicion grew in me.

“Just want to talk? Last time I talked with him he was critiquing me! He hates me! He doesn't want anything to do with me!” I voiced the feelings that had been clawing at me for months, never having anyone to tell them to.

“Or so you think. Look, just talk to him, that's all this is, ok?” Lars grew tired of my attitude and clearly I would have to give in soon.

“I want to, I want to talk to him, but I doubt he wants to talk to me,” I responded, trying to further explain my hesitations.

“I just told you that he wants to talk to you! Go in there, please!” Lars pleaded with me, and I sighed, finally agreeing.

“Ok, ok, I will,” I answered, beginning to head into the studio.

“Thank you! He's just down the hall, in that room with the sound equipment and everything,” Lars informed me, and I followed him, seeing James hunched over a table, scribbling down on a piece of paper. My heart was racing now. I hadn't seen him since that night. I didn't know what I would say to him, I was worried what he would say to me.

Then he looked up at me.

His cold, piercing blue eyes, a newfound softness in them as our eyes met. I avoided his eyes, but felt his lingering on me. Lars guided me in, shutting the door behind himself, leaving us alone. I was unsure of what to say, my eyes lingering on the floor, hearing James set down his pen.

“Uh… hi…” He started, probably just as unsure as I was.

“Hi,” I responded back shyly, avoiding his gaze, though I could still feel his own on me. The sound of footsteps approached me, instantly recognizing them as James’, and then I heard a click. Lars had locked us in here, now forced to talk.

“I.. I'm sorry, I really am,” He mumbled, and I looked up at him, seeing a true guilt in his eyes, “I wish I didn't do it, that I didn't say those things, that I didn't make you hurt so much like that… I should’ve been much more, well, mature about it. I feel like shit for everything,” James explained to me, but this only caused me to have more and more questions.  

“What do you mean?” I asked, my voice still a hushed whisper as a wave of various emotions crashed down on me. “I had reasons for what I did, I just wish I went about it differently. I wish I had listened to you when you had offered me help. I didn't want to hurt you with my habits, and I couldn't break up with you, I didn't want to be the one to do that, so… so I tried to make you break up with me, and you did. Everything I said, it was a lie. I never meant it. You're a great cook, you work hard, you're just… you're amazing, you're too good for me.” James confessed, and I could feel a bit of the cold melt away, though still a hurt in my heart.

“Then why make me come and tell me all of this? This would only pour salt in that wound, no?” I was still confused at why he would make such an effort, but I still found it touching.

“Because I still love you. I want things back the way they were. I swear on everything, I've changed. I miss you more than anything-” I cut him off with a sweet kiss to his lips, and he melted into me, wrapping his arms around me in a comforting and loving embrace.

After James pulled away, he looked me in my eyes, “How could you forgive me for saying all of that to you?” He began, “Id think you would just… hate me, I was a total jerk,”

“Or so you'd think. I still love you and miss you more than you could imagine,” I responded with a  small smile, and James matched mine, kissing me again. “Can… can I show you how much I've missed you?” James asked in a mumbled tone, clearly a bit embarrassed. My cheeks heated up at his offer and I giggled, nodding as our lips met a third time, a new hunger and desire now displayed. Slowly, he walked me to the table until I had backed up into it, his hands trailing up my sides until we broke away, his lips now going down my neck, eliciting a needy whine from the back of my throat, my hands pulling him closer, snaking under his shirt to trace his skin. 

James’s fingers slipped under my shirt, working to get it off of my head, leaving my neck for only a second to remove the fabric before attaching himself to my sensitive flesh, feeling him suck and nibble, definitely leaving bruises. He gave a more harsh bite, causing me to whimper, then soothing it over with his tongue before pulling away. Soon his gaze focused on my breasts, still confined with my bra. His eyes met mine again, “Can I take it off?” He asked ,already reaching around my back to work on the clasp, which had become an easy task for him. I nodded, and soon the garment was now on the floor with my shirt. The cold air caused my nipples to erect immediately, and James’ eyes were locked on them, cupping the in his hands as he squeezed them and pinched at my nipples, making me make high needy sounds, causing him to smirk, kissing around the soft flesh, teasing me with every movement he made. 

I began to claw at his shirt, trying to take it off of him, so he reluctantly pulled away from my chest, removing his own shirt, giving me a view I had missed more than I care to admit. My eyes dragged slowly over the newly exposed skin, and his lips crashed down on mine again, pushing me back so far I was now laying down on the table, the cold wood causing goosebumps to rise on my skin. I tugged at James’ pants, feeling myself grow wetter at the moment. He slipped down his pants, leaving him in only his boxers as you pulled down my skirt, leaving me in only my panties. I could see the bulge in his final layer grow at the new sight, and then he got on his knees, gripping the sides of my aunties and taking them off in a swift motion, leaving my glistening folds exposed to his hungry view.. His warm lips teased my thighs, kissing around the area I needed him most, making me writhe with desire. Eventually, his tongue found my center, giving it soft licks at first, parting my folds with his tongue. A moan escaped my throat, and James took it as his sign to keep going, burying his face between my thighs. He licked and sucked at my hole, probing at it with his tongue as his nose nudged my sensitive clit. My hand snaked into his long blonde locks, gripping his scalp tightly as I pulled him closer. I could hear him groan into my flesh, causing a vibration to coarse through me, making me moan again as I came closer to my first high. Eventually James moved further up, giving more attention to my aching clit, giving it gentle licks first to tease me before sucking it into his mouth, biting it softly, making me squeal from his ministrations.

“Jamei, fuck, Im gonna cum,” I whined out, tugging on hair harder, causing him to let out another low groan as he continued to feast on me. “Cum for me pretty girl,” He mumbled into my flesh, and like that my orgasm washed over me, a breathy moan falling my lips, feeling my core pulsate , releasing my grip on James’ head, allowing him to pull back.

James chin was drenched in my essence and his spit, some caught in his facial hair, wiping it off on the back of his hand. I dont think Ive seen anything hotter. His eyes landed on mine, and I noticed a lustful darkness in them, kissing me again as our tongues tangled in a battle for dominance, James winning in the end, and soon his boxers were on the ground, both of us bare in front of each other again.

JAmes broke the kiss, trailing his lips down my neck, leaving new hickeys and bruises in his wake as they now peppered my neck. I felt his tip at my entrance and I squirmed, his lips leaving my bruised flesh. “You ready, baby?” He asked, taking my hand in his, and I nodded, feeling him slowly push into me, the stretching sensation stinging my insides, a delicious stretch my body had missed as I tried to accommodate his size. Once he was to the hilt, I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding, squeezing his hand tightly.

I gave him a look of a need, and he gook note, slowly beginning to pump his hips, untwining our fingers as he positioned himself with better support, placing his arms on either side of my head. With every thrust a moan escaped my throat, tears pricking at my eyes from the pleasure. “Fuck, you’re so tight… haven't had anything since me, hmmm?” James whispered to me, and I could only whine in response, his calloused fingers sneaking down to my clit, brushing the bud lightly with the pad of thumb, and I began to squirm around his cock, feeling his thrusts increase with speed, more grunts falling from James.

The table I laid on creaked beneath from our frevorus movements of need, completely forgetting we were still in the studio. The band was still in that studio. This room wasn't for recording, very little sound blockers. Anyone in this building could hear us. The thought didn't pass my mind once throughout the whole experience, only focused and becoming closer with James once again, not just in body, but in our connection reforming with every minstration from either of us.

James' thrusts grew relentless, only increasing the pleasure for both of us as he chased his own high, helping me with mine, continuing to toy with and stroke my clit, moans and whines leaving me with any movement he made. “So pretty like this, baby, taking me so well,” He groaned, his small grunts and moans filling my ears like sweet music. I began to buck my hips, knowing that my orgasm was approaching, James not far behind, his vocal expression of pleasure growing in number and volume, mixing with my own mewls and moans, that and the sound of skin slapping skin filling the room, my nails clawing his back.

My eyes began to roll back, James’ name falling from my lips a thousand times as my legs wrapped around his waist, trying to pull him deeper to finally bring me to edge. James noticed and thrusted harder, hitting that special spot with every movement, making me have to cover my mouth with my hand, the unholy noises escaping me growing too loud for us to stay secret. James disapproved, “Mmmm, don't do that baby, let me hear you cum around my cock,” He cooed, and that was all the encouragement I needed to come over the edge, a high pitched moan coming from me, feeling my walls clamp down on James’ length, pulsating as waves of pleasure cascaded over me. James helped me ride through it, still rubbing my sensitive nub, his thrusts losing rhythm as he approached his own high.

“Fuck, sweetie, gonna cum inside you…” He grunted, his pace increasing as his movement became erratic with pleasure. “Take it, take it like a good girl, baby,” He moaned, his load shooting deep inside of me and painting my walls white with his seed. His hips sputtered, bucking into me as he collapsed on top of me, our sweaty foreheads clinging together as we both recovered from the intense orgasms, trying to catch our breath. James pressed soft, lazy kisses around my face, reminding me how much he loved me and how he'd never hurt me again if given the chance.

After a moment, we both had come down from our highs, James’ softening member sliding out of me with a pop. He looked down at the mess between my thighs, all evidence of our pleasure with each other. “Youre fuckin’ perfect,” He muttered, his eyes dragging over me.

“Are the groupies still better?” I teased him, remembering our bickering that was one real, or so I thought it was real fighting.

“Oh, hell no, they don't stand a chance to this,” He responded with a smile, and I smiled back.

We cleaned up, slipping back on our clothes so we were somewhat presentable. Only now did the realization that we were never once alone in this studio and the rest of the band was outside had hit me. A wave of embarrassment flowed over me, my cheeks flushing even more than they were before given the previous activities. Both James and I looked quite disheveled, our hair a mess and clothes wrinkled. I tried to shake off whatever nervousness I had in me as James put his arm around me. We went to reach for the door handle, only to find out it was still locked. Now it would be even more awkward. James knocked on the door from the inside, calling out to Lars, or anyone else in the studio.

“Guys? Lars? Can someone unlock the door?” And it wasn't long before footsteps approached, hearing a key click as the door swung open, Lars, more curious than ever eyed both my own and James’ appearance, noticing the hickeys, the slight wobble I gave, and any other imperfections that we might have displayed.

“I take it you two worked things out?”

— — — — > A FEW WEEKS LATER…

It had taken some time, a lot of talking, and more than just one hook up for James and I to work out any other issues that we had with each other. We met up a lot in the recent weeks after that, discussing different ways on how to help James with his drinking, and just trying to regain eachothers trust.

Soon enough though, James had moved back in with me. I kept my office space, but now the room was split in two halves. I worked in one half, while James did his guitar work in the other half. It was a fairly large room, so we both had our own spaces and rarely bothered each other. If I had a work call or anything that required silence, James would just migrate to the living room.

It was the same old schedule we had all those months ago, and I was now returning from work. It was Friday, now I would have plenty of time to relax and be with James. I pulled into the driveway, parking and getting out of my car as I walked up to the porch, the click of my heels following my steps on the cement. The lights were on, the door unlocked. I could hear a faint strumming coming from inside, meaning James was hard at work on new material for the album. It was my favorite thing to listen to while doing work assignments at home.

I walked in with a huff, setting down my purse and keys on the counter before heading to the shared office space. James wasn't playing much, just sounded like scales and chords for his warm ups. “How was work, baby?” James greeted me, still focused on his guitar. “It was a bit tiring, but it was good. I think my boss is starting to like me,” I answered, settling into my chair. He nodded in response, going back to fiddling with the strings.

It wasn't until a little later a soft, sweet and melodic tune had hit my ears. Much different than what Metallica normally plates. James hummed along to it, almost like he had lyrics already written out. But knowing him, he probably did.

“What are you playing? It sounds really nice,” I started, listening to a few more notes before continuing, “It's not what you guys normally play,” I commented, and James let out a deep hum in response. “Just something new I'm working on,” He replied, and I nodded, getting back to work.

Only this time, I couldn't focus. Normally James’s music helped me to focus, becoming a comforting background noise. This time though, I couldn't get my mind off of that melody. He kept going, and each second I kept getting more and more captivated by it. 

“That songs really pretty, I like it,” I said, scribbling down whatever notes I couldnt on a piece of paper. “Thanks, it's actually, uhm..” He trailed off, and I knew something was up. I spun around in my chair, going to face him. “It's what?” I asked, confused by his shy demeanor. 

“It's called ‘Nothing Else Matters’,” He stated, finally stopping picking at the strings. “Nothing Else Matters?” I repeated, connecting whatever the lyrics might be in my head to the melody. Normally their slower, melodic songs were dark and heavy topics, so I expected the same with this one.

“Yeah,” James answered, “I wrote the lyrics about you, actually,” He muttered softly, though I still picked it up. “About me?” I questioned, slightly shocked. “Yeah… I've thought a lot about, well, everything recently. Ever since that point a few months back I've reflected and everything… Rumors spread, and I just want everyone out there to get the right idea,” He paused, searching for the right words, “I want people out there to know that you're all I care about, you mean more than the world to me, and I want everyone to know that,” He stated, his tone true and emotional. I had never heard him say sweeter words to me, and I knew that he was speaking nothing other than the truth, I could see it in his eyes, there's a way to read people, and James wasn't easy to read, but you soon could learn the lingo.

“That means a lot to me, Jamie,” I answered, smiling at him. I got up from my chair to sit next to him on the couch, leaning against him. “Thank you,” I said, kissing him on the cheek. “You don't need to thank me, sweetheart,” James responded, wrapping his arm around me.

And now, I knew my whole world was whole again. What was once hatred, or so I thought was hatred, was once again love, everything as it should be.

[forgotteneilionora]

OOC | Regional Exports

so i legit woke up thinking abt this???? what on earth was i dreaming abt?!!?!?? heehee but anyway!! while i ate breakfast i was rec'd and watched [ this ] (which btw i highly recommend!! it was super fun and v inspiring re: fantasy costuming! heehee) and so it all felt suuuper meant to be that i make this post hahahaha

anyway, first of all i want to say that these are purely IDEAS and we do not have to go w a single one of these!!! like, for example, if we don't like the idea of miners at lorcan, im not married to that!!! im just throwing out ideas based on the natural resources we can guess might be in these regions based on what we know of the landscape there etc? so yeah! mostly, tho, id love, love, love to hear any further ideas you guys might have!!!! but yeah w/o further ado...

ASTAIRA

ok so!! we've talked before abt this re: our biggest character-hitter locations, so i thought id maybe idk jabber a bit abt that ~and other places?

STAFFORD

artists & artisans (i feel like there are quite a few guilds based in stafford!)

sciences & invention

trade/luxury goods from throughout astaira (and to a lesser extent from across the sea -- im guessing hanthom must be situated more closely to the closest ~other continent or whatever and/or simply have a better natural harbor etc since they also seem to produce more ships than stafford but that makes sense w the shallow waters there too! aka only smaller boats can come directly to the citadel -- i also think there must be smth abt the tides near their rivers perhaps ~from the sea, etc, that make export ~throughout astaira esp feasible!)

seafood

MALCONAIRE

farming food production

lumber (ok so we haven't talked abt this part specifically...but i think its safe to say this is probs a big export for them -- also this might not seem super impressive to us in our day and age but back in this time having a source of lumber was a srs way to make BANK literal wars were fought over this! this is v big reason the spanish armada set sail no lie!)

carpentry (same as above)

HANTHOM

trade/luxury goods from across the sea

tyrian purple (again haven't disucssed it but its a rare and suuuuuuuper specialized/expensive purple dye made from mollusks soooo i can def see them producing it...and making BANK from roderick back in the day papa calleary: thank you for ur purchase! gonna use ur own money to build warships to fight you <3)

pearls

seafood

divers

shipwrights

ships

fossils <3

ok so now we come to things we haven't discussed...

ORMOND

ok so ive always pictured ormond as a pr flat place, plus we know its close enough to malconaire that its considered (at least partially) a vassal state so im thinking:

farm food production

plant-based textile production

textile- and fashion-arts artisans (if we go w this hc'ing that rosie used to go there a lot as a lil kid and just spend hours at their textile markets talking endlessly to their artisans!)

horse production and training

LORCAN

ok so we know two key features of their landscape: a moutain and a lake so!

freshwater food production and hatcheries

goat and sheep-sourced food production

mining/mineral & metal & stone & precious/semi-precious jewel production

pottery/ceramic/tile/mosaic production

welders/armorers/smiths/metallurgists

jewelers (feel like the varmonts also lost their shit over all the metal and jewels here!!!! omGGGG lkajsdfkljsdf the varmonts looking at the gold: is this heaven? the lorcans: omg i see you've spotted the swans! <3 ;DDD)

spectacles (iirc the first eye glasses were made of crystal so they may have even invented them here?)

wine

FENS

ok so fens in most cultures ~are pr notoriously poor re: exports bc they're usually ~fairly subsistance level HOWEVER in this magical society i think they've maybe got access to smth v rare and precious, indeed, given what we know of the dual-house, on both sides, that ruled there (rip btw <3):

seers

freshwater food production

freshwater pearls

papyrus-paper

calligraphy

styluses

sedge production

CALLEARY

ok so this is ocean stuff again but...icy remix!

pelts & furs

leather production

icebreakers

whaling

ice and snow-based athletics

sinew

soapstone

walrus/narwhal ivory

ice fishing

KIL-KENNAR

more mountains, but a whole chain this time with a high-altitude remix! (kil-kennar is like...vaguely inspired by the alps [but since this is fantasy world dialed up to 10] meets like the rockies kinda thing, so i kinda went w that...[yes...arthur bringing his army up there and fighting in the mountain passes ~was inspired by hannibal and a dash of alexander the great...no, arthur did noT bring elephants...you've got a long way to go, my friend...arthur: damn...])

seers

pilgrimage

religious practices/beliefes/rulings etc

philosophy & theology

artists

sheep & goat-based food production

cattle-based food production

mining (primarily iron ore & mineral production)

metallurgy/smithing

lumber production

carpentry

ice and snow-based athletics

trade within astaira (i envisage this mountain chain as sorta the gateway between maybe like...idk north and south or smth bc i feel like it must be strategic for roderick to have ordered such an enoromous effort in its undertaking etc but as a result, too, pr much everything must pass trhough here when traveling from one end of the country to the other if it isn't going by sea)

wine

ANYYYWAYYYYY i wanted to get the ball rolling on this bc i love this sorta stuff heehee <3 and i wondered if you guys had any ideas!! i was esp interesteed in artisanal/artistic styles/types etc that could come from the various regions we've invented here bc i do think that, moreso than other places, astaira is a hub of that sorta thing!

[hils79]

Hils Watches Lovely Runner - Ep 2

Bless her she's trying

Cannot relate to being this excited to be back at school 😂

Is this going to be like Back to the Future where she ends up going back to 2022 and her brother is a famous actor instead of having a stressful office job

I would do the same tbh

Ah, I'm guessing he's her old crush from school and the other side of what I'm sure will be a love triangle. He's cute. Love me a bad boy.

Of course the bad boy is the guitarist in a band. LMAO first stan experience.

I mean high school girls aren't well known for their good taste. But come on he may not look like an idol but he's cute

Aww she confessed to him the day before she jumped into her teenage body

Confession: When I was in school I wrote a letter not quiet as poetic as this and gave it to my crush. I would legit be mortified if I had to relive that experience. I'm cringing now just thinking about it and it was nearly 30 years ago

She is not having a good day. Forced to relieve one of her most cringe memories and now rejected by her idol.

I appreciate the romantic gesture of him chasing after bus when she got stuck and couldn't get off but it's full of students so it can't have been going that far before it would have stopped again. They were acting like she was going to wind up in another city

All teenagers are annoying to some degree, especially when you're in your 30s

Oh, that's fun! If she tries to tell him about the future time freezes to stop anyone hearing

Ah, of course bad boy's dad is a cop

Time for some wound tending. No drama is complete without it.

All that time her idol lived opposite her and she had no idea. I'd be losing my mind.

OH! The pervy guy who won't return his rented copy of Basic Instinct is Sunjae's dad. Can't believe I didn't realise that until now

OMG SUNJAE HAD IT THE WHOLE TIME! I love how this flips from angsty to sweet to hilarious very quickly.

Of course she's got PTSD after getting hit by a car. But why are all these cars driving across a pedestrian crossing in the first place?

More emotionally significant umbrellas. Aww they actually met earlier when she mistook him for a package courier.

She's the reason he likes the sweets that she gave him in 2022 and she has no idea! Have I mentioned that I love time travel as a plot device?

Wait has he had a crush on her this whole time? Then all of a sudden (from his perspective) she started acting all weird and following him around. I kind of love this!

LMAO and he grabbed the nearest tape in a panic when she woke up and gave his dad's name. It was Basic Instinct of course. I love this! I have to say this drama isn't predictable at all. It's doing a lot of fun things with what could easily have been a very common tropey story

HE'S BEEN PINING THIS WHOLE TIME! Look how happy he is when she tried to friend him online. He clicked the reject button by accident. I am so delighted.

Ooh that photo just appeared on the table. The future is changing!

Okay, I am fully on board with this now. It's pushing all of my buttons.

[radaverse]

MY HONEST REACTION WHEN I SAW THAT ONE IN MY NOTIFS

MAN FR I GOT SO JUMPSCARED IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE

YOUR SJ STYLE IS PERFECT

yes I can't stop jumping around and screaming about this one I LOVE IT SO MUCH TYSM

the babies 😭💖

Jack and Mai for @radaverse !!

Got to stretch my SJ muscles for this one :) Be sure to check out their Paws of Magic AU + comic!

[ufcow]

an add on to my conflicting edward/eddie post, that i woke up at the ass crack of 4 am bc i remembered it,, LEGIT always make these posts at like 2 am 😙

i full heartedly believe both would almost always devour cunt first before anything else, just to have that power over you, like that pussy too good 😌 he just cant help himself and its easier to grind his cock into you afterwards. but it’s definitely a power trip for him to get to eat you out first, lets be fr, you aint complainin 🙂‍↔️

and this one i also totally woke up at 4 too

ik a lot of people either hc eddie as he would NEVER let you help with his plans or he includes you in them whether you like it or not. tbh id probably hc him as letting you help with puzzles (if you’re good at them), but not with the livestreams or anything else that will expose you (and him omg). LOL probably wouldnt have anything to contribute except for sucking cock ngl but we can free gotham together bb 😩

heros are cool ig

fuck villains over heros anyday

LMFAO 🫶 THIS GIF

batman can fr fuck off pls

[smaeemo]

15x18 "Despair" Quick Brainrot Summary

Jack is totally #bombmaxxing and they are like we gotta GTFO or totally magic this shit away

Billie pulls up to the function and is like "Y'all done." scythe in hand totally looking legit cray and is like "You bitches were sooo close"

The winchesters are then like "But bro, Chucky bear was the one behind this all along!"

Then Castiel out here begging please billie, " jack is so gonna detonate, pls fix my boy"

And Billie's like "This shit is bad, ig he's gonna lowkey explode, but I can like send him to a special little place" then proceeds to zap Jack into the empty, and is like "He's in a place that will absorb his shock #rubberwalls"

As soon as Jack finds himself in vemon's innards he like totes EXPLODES

Cut back to The team freaks, and Billie is like "Oops there she blows! Also I sent Jack to the empty" and they are all like "Oh that's not-" and then Cas is like "Is he like LiveMaxxing rn?" and Billie straight up "Idk" emotes.

Then Billie just goes like "The empty, shes.. large and vast... but she is gonna be PISSED if Jack is livemaxxing, and like we are already beefing so I banned her from earth and she like needs to be summoned or whatever" Then she's like "Jack for God's death book, good trade? good trade?" and they are like "YOU BASTARD, YOU LIED" and totally felt #betrayed. And she starts to peer pressure sam into giving her the death book.

Cut back to Jack, because he is "Live" Maxxing!!! and the empty now has beef with him too and is like "YOU DUMB BITCH IM GONNA KILL YOU-"

Cut back to The winchesters, and Sam gives into peer pressure and is like "here's the book" as he throws it on her #desk #customerservice. And Billie gets her fingers in there are #reads and is like "hmmm.... by god! there's a new ending" then channels her inner Villian and gives us the "Interesting..."

Cut back to Jack and the empty is like totes peeved and is like "YOU WOKE ME UP YOU CUNT, LIKE THAT'S SO NOT GLAZING" then like lowkey lunges, but before the violence can ensue Jack is star trek'ed back to the bunker

Then Billie is like "This bitch mine" and has a full ass custody war before Dean grabs her scythe and slashes her and she like cat hisses, uses the force, and then /resets her character back into her domain.

Jack like faintmaxxes and Sam is like "Omg! The book! It stuck!"

TIMESKIP

Dean and Sam work out their drama per usual and are like Bitchboy Michael is totes ghosting us.

Cut to a reaper going up to Billie and being like "The place has been secured from the EMPTY" and still peter griffin seething Billie is like "OMG! TYSM"

Cut back to Winchesters/main plot where the apocolyspe people TM/Ressurected hoes are like dissapearing, and they are like "Ugh, that girl is still doing this shit??" (Billie)

Then Charlie (Apocolyspe edition) who they are visiting because her bae was /kill @e'ed, and Charlie is like "these mfs know something" and so tfw is like "Billie is beefing because Dean stabbed her and everyone is gonna die"

Then sam has a lightbulb moment, and is like "Eileen!" so they haul ass over to her, but were too fashionably late and all that was left was her phone (sad face)

Sam gets like 2 min grief before going "Lets make a bass and ward that hoe with bedrock atp, yk for all the apocalypse people and #resserecters"

Then they are all like "Omg yes!!!" But then Dean is like "Im gonna go back to the bunker and kill Billie for being a HATER" and Cas is like "Baby don't go alone, I'll #tagalong"

Everyone thumbs up the message and they like go their separate ways

Sam and Jack go to a creepy ass Silo and totally ping everyone give their location, #send ur ETA

Everyone/most get to the silo and the crew is warding that bitch UP and they lowkey doing all the cheats to keep the tresspassers OUT. Then Jack goes near the plant and the plant #dies and Jack is like "Bruh" and then when they think they are safe, the uno reverse card is totes played and everyone starts tragically dying (besides sam and jack) and jake is like "omg wtf" and sam is all "sad face"

Cut back to Dean and Cas: They get back to the bunker and Dean grabs the Scythe and uses a key to go back into Billie's pad, and is like "Lets make her SWEAT" so they walk around looking for her and #destroying things/

Then they find her and dean lowkey stabs her and is like "Wasn't trying to kill you. so like stop killing all my pals" and she's like "Girl that's like not even me doing that, its chucky, doy"

And Dean and Cas are lowkey #shocked! Then she uses the force on them aka channeling her darth vader, then grabs her scythe.

Then she's all like "When you slashed me, you pulled a hamlet and basically poisened me to die, which is so not #nice" and then she's all like "IDGAF abt dying, its inevitable, so Im gonna complete my quest and KILL YOU DEAN" then Cas and Dean are shaking in their boots and try to out run DEATH and make it back to the bunker.

After they get back into the bunker Dean is like ok ok wtf do we do, and then Billie shows up yet again Darth Vader style, using the force to like stop Dean's heart.

And Dean and Cas start running, and Billie is like "Hoe, I have your heart wtf r u even gonna do??"

Then they make it to a store room and Cas uses his blood and makes a sigil that is anti-billie, then Dean's heart works again and

Billie is like standing out side of the door knocking on it like so annoyingly this whole time

Dean is like "Im so sorry, I am a vengeful piece of shit and now both of us r gonna totes die. But like me first" and then he's like "We should been with Sammy and Jackie and not here, Im lowkey apologetic"

And Cas suddenly is like "Think think BRAINBLAST" and is like "Well... there is someone who can stop her... someone strong enough to end her for GOOD" and Dean is like "tf?"

Then... Cas spills the beans about his deal and Dean goes "You what?" feeling #betrayed

And Cas is like "the deal was my life for his, that the empty would take me at my moment of true happiness" which is so lowkey PETTY

And Dean is like "Y r u tell me rn?"

So Cas goes: "I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're "daddy's blunt instrument." And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. (he smiles, crying now) You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of you. (sad laugh as a tear rolls down his cheek) You changed me, Dean."

And dean is like "Y this sound like a goodbye????"

Then cas goes "bc it is" leaving dean #speechless

Then before dean respondmaxxes...

Cas goes "ily" and dean is like "nah don't do this Cas..."

Then the random squelching of knockoff venom comes up behind him and Cas goes "Goodbye Dean" and SHOVES that boy into the corner, leaving a #bloody handprint TM on his shoulder (similar to the burn from when he GRIPPED him TIGHT and PULLED HIM from perdition)

Then Billie BUSTS into the room and the Empty takes both of them into the mysterious goo world. and Dean is like "yo wtf" and starts #sniffle maxxing

Then Sam starts calling him, and Dean ignores it and starts #sobmaxxing

All in all

Apocolypse people/resurrected died L

Cas #confessed to Dean then got eaten by knock off Venom alongside billie

And Dean won a crying competition

The end.

[invertedrat]

i had one of the scariest dreams last night bro i was eating my mom's tacos and then i went to my room and looked in my mirror and i was super big like i looked fucking pregnant i looked like such a pig ew thankfully it was just a dream but omg i was legit so scared when I woke up, like when i woke up i went straight to my mirror lmao

[urmultideadfandomperson]

Guys, this is super random to post in Tumblr, but I have this dream...

It was a weird dream—I can't really remember a lot of the details. The plot was somewhat about the Philippines being a "hazardous country" and for some reason, there were some dangerous plants trying to attack us.

Us? What do you mean us?

Well... here goes the part of the dream that made me feel the shivers and the butterflies in my stomach.

In the middle of the chaos, it was me and Arcturus IN MY BEDROOM. HE WAS LEGIT IN MY BEDROOM IN MY DREAM. It was nighttime, and somehow, I allowed him to sleep in my bedroom. Arcky slept on the floor (don't worry, I placed a mattress on the floor for him to sleep) and I slept on my small bed.

We also exchanged blankets, and I think that's cute.

While I was tossing and turning in bed, Arcky was still awake, just looking up at the ceiling. Then suddenly, I threw my pillow beside Arcky's head and left my bed tO SNUGGLE UP AGAINST HIM OMG WTF

AND THEN ARCTURUS SNUGGLED ME BACK AND KISSED MY FOREHEAD. TWICE. In return... I KISSED HIS CHEEK TWICE AS WELL.

He was smiling down at me before closing my eyes to sleep, still snuggling against him. At that point, we just snuggled to sleep and it was really wholesome.

And after that wholesome moment, we went to this "dangerous" forest parts of the Philippines to stop the entities and whatever was in there.

And that was it. I woke up. Weird dreams, aye?

Oh! As an addition...

THIS WAS THE MAIN REASON WHY I FELL IN LOVE WITH ARCTURUS. SERIOUSLY I WAS NEVER INTO HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE AND AFTER WAKING UP FROM MY DREAM, I SUDDENLY GREW FEELINGS FOR THAT BALL OF SUNSHINE.

ARCKY WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME???

[icegirl03]

omg yess a fluff event!!

can you please do one for iceman (my love) it can be legit anything, any length you want!!

thank youu in advance :)

STAY

Pairing: iceman x reader.

Warnings: none that I can think of :")

Author's note: Thank you for requesting! @thesamesunset 🍒❤️ I hope you like it! Iceman just hits different tbh 😌

Summary: You and Ice both have feelings for each other,but you never took the courage to have a relationship with him because you're scared of getting hurt. Something that will happen will make you both realise you need each other.

•••••♡♡♡•••••♡♡♡••••••♡♡♡••••••••

"My God I'm so tired" you sighed as you just entered your shared dorm with your wingman. Ice was laying on his bed, reading a book when his eyes met yours. You didn't expect him to be there so early,you had your guard down.

"Long day? " He sighed,putting the book to the side "me too,today was exhausting, Viper killed us all"

You giggled because the same thing happened to your team. You yawned and laid on your bed. You got ready to close the courtain that separated your side of your room.

"Don't do that....I didn't get to look at you enough today" Ice said as he looked into your eyes.

Your heart dropped at those words,not knowing what to say.

"How long will this last..?Why don't you give me a chance? I'm not going anywhere but still..why don't you let me show you that I can take good care of you?"

You didn't know how or why you did that but you just walked up to him,into his bed,and laid on top of him.

You took a deep breath,inhaling his cologne.

"Show me then" you closed your eyes and laid your head on his chest. You felt strong arms wrap around you,and his lips on your forehead.

You had fallen asleep sooner than you realised,the sound of Tom's quick heartbeat lulled you to sleep.

It was around 5 AM when you woke up,that exactly same position as you fell asleep. It was a Sunday,so you didn't have to go anywhere. You raise your head,and tried to move,until Ice was holding you back. It was too late now to pretend like it didn't happen.

"Stay?Will you?" He said,voice rasp and sleepy.

You nodded and fell asleep again. When you two woke up later you both just spent the rest of the day in bed,talking about the relationship you just started,and making each other laugh.

••••♡♡♡••••••♡♡♡•••••••••♡♡♡♡••••

Taglist: @deanscroissant

[spinsterssister]

the rings of power s2e7….. holy shit. i have so many thoughts. but one of the biggest standouts to me was when sauron’s illusion over celebrimbor finally shattered. he woke up from a dream to find he was actually living a nightmare and it was truly horrifying. like a scene straight out of a psychological horror movie. and i legit cried when celebrimbor was saying goodbye to galadriel, going back to face sauron alone KNOWING he’s going to die. and there’s so much more omg this episode was just incredible. i just feel so lucky so see all of these amazing stories and characters brought to the screen so beautifully, i could gush about this for HOURS

[indras-wife]

OMGGGGG BABES HIIIII, I'm so excited to finally read your beautiful creations, please bless us with Indra content, we need so much more content for him!!!

Sooo, I would love to request a scenario of our beautiful savior Indra, of course, and I do have a little specific idea in mind🤠

I would love to see a representation of the night after he wins his eternal battle against Ashura (because we know our man wins, fuck cannon), something like Indra dejected and a bit depressed even though he won because, well, he killed his younger brother, and even if he's crazy, he has feelings.

I think it's the only moment where I can imagine him genuinely vulnerable, ready to collapse into (Y/N's) arms and just… cry, grieve for all that he lost despite winning.

I'm so exciteeeeeeed, love uuuu darling💕💕💕

OMG THANKS FOR SUCH KIND WORDS!!! ✨💖😭Your work is the reason I decided to start my own small blog for our lord and savior Indra. You are legit the blueprint for this blog💖✨

His character is complex, philosophical and just perfect for every interpretation and requests like this definitely help to uncover his hidden characteristics. And YES FUCK CANNON Indra wins for sure. 😤✨

Since this is my first work, I don't know how it turned out(may not be the best for sure) but do feel free to contact me in case you have any suggestions or another request. I am open always for any criticism, love or even hate.

HOPE YOU ENJOY BABESSSS✨💖Thanks again for being the first to request Indra in this blog. Mucho amor y abrazos querida💖✨💖

“No matter what, I shall protect my little brother so no harm touch him”

The words which he said so proudly as a child, ringed in Indra’s ears. Is this how it should have ended? His one and only brother…dead?

As he looked down he realized that indeed it was their fate no matter what. Ashura was laying on the ground, covered in blood and with a big hole on his chest. Indra killed him with the same lightning jutsu he used to protect him from the boar when they were children.

The older brother kept staring at the body, unable to move for what felt like hours. He could not believe he finally killed Ashura and got his revenge. Though this is what we wanted to do, he did not feel the joy as he thought he would. Instead, Indra felt immense guilt, felt like the worst person in the world. He not only killed his only brother, but also his family: his wife and three kids.

“Ashura….” a small whisper escaped his mouth before he collapsed on the ground, falling on the dead body of his little brother. His body felt heavy, and he could not move any longer. Indra’s eyes closed from tiredness as his consciousness slowly left his body.

He woke up only hours later, drenched in rain, sweat and blood. As he got on his knees, his eyes met with the lifeless body of his brother.

“…..Forgive me Ashura….”

Of course, his words and the guilt he was feeling meant nothing now.

Monster…I am a monster…just as everyone labeled me…

That dark inner voice kept screaming in his head, blaming him for all what had happened. If Indra was not strong willed, he would for sure kill himself right here, to try and get rid of the heavy burden that will chase him all his life.

But he could not do it. Not when his own wife and kids were waiting for him to return back home. Indra casted one final glance at Ashura, a single tear escaping his eye as he turned his back and vanished into the thin air.

Y/n…

He wanted to get home fast. To be in her hands, to cry and tell her he regrets killing his brother. That is the only thing in his mind now. Indra was too exhausted to use his teleportation ability so he had to use the not the fastest way.

Only after a day was he able to get back home. He was exhausted not only from the long way but also from the heavy burden he was carrying in his heart. He felt worse when he thought that he left his body there. But what else could he do? He felt unworthy to touch his body and give him a proper burial. While he was walking towards his house, his thoughts replaying the fight, Y/n came out of the house.

“Babe….!”

Indra heard his wife’s sweet voice and looked at her.

“……Y/n” he whispered.

His wife knew him well enough to understand what had happened. She rushed to him and hugged him hard, crying from joy that her husband returned back alive. Whatever happened at the battlefield was not even important anymore. She has his husband back safely and thats what matters for her.

Indra hugged her back slowly, hiding his face in her shoulder and letting his tears flow freely. They stood like that for some time, allowing their bodies to talk instead of their mouths.

“It is over…he….he is dead…” he finally mumbled.Y/n knew he had the guilt in his heart. After all, he killed his only brother.

“I know it was hard…I know you carry this immense guilt darling…but…don’t blame yourself. You did..what you considered right.” Y/n whispered as she hugged him tighter. She knew he needed this more than anything. Indra was never good at words. He preferred his actions to do the work and Y/n understood it fully.

Indra looked at her, his eyes teary and his sharingan glowing like two precious gems. He knew his wife wanted to help him, and she did many times, but tonight, he did not feel those words were as helpful as before. He wanted to try and forget the scene in front of him however he could not as much as he tried.

“Let’s go inside…I will warm up some water so you can take a bath…come” Y/n softly held his hand, walking to the house. Indra could only follow her silently, hoping to pass the night in her arms, letting his feelings out and hopefully sleeping after months of no sleep.

[king0fbr0kenhearts]

OK HERE ARE THE THINGS I WANTED YO TALK ABOUT IN WEDNESDAY

in no chronological order

"the only one who gets to torture my brother is me" peak sibling dynamic i tell you

I watched it in spanish so it was so weird hearing Wednesday and Pugsley getting called Merlina and Pericle

And Gomez was called Homer which I'm honestly not complaining about but it's still weird

Uncle Fester was called Tio Lucas

And thing was called dedos (fingers) which I'm definitely not complaining about

I wonder how Wednesday and Enid are gonna pack up all those things in their dorm at at the end of the school year, like- they had A LOT OF THINGS THERE

I loved Wednesday's prom dance. I think one of her moves was a dance one of the older adaptations of Wednesday did

THIS DANCE

(she was so adorable back then i literally can't believe her actor dressed up as Morticia when she was older)

SO YOU'RE TELLING ME GOMEZ BLAMED HIMSELF FOR MORTICIA ACCIDENTALLY KILLING GARRET OMG THIS MAN IS SO IN LOVE

I don't remember if it was Garren Gates or Garret Gates

They weren't lying when they said it had LOTS OF LOVE INTERESTS OMG

Me at first: ugh i hate Bianca she reaks of pick me girl

Me after: Bianca my best friend I love you

Ok but Bianca was so pretty I love her

ENID BABY GIRL SINCLAIR I LOVE YOU

I love her rainbow claws/nails

THE WAY WEREWOLF ENID'S FACE SOFTENS WHEN SHE SEES WEDNESDAY OMG

AND THE WAY WEDNESDAY PULLS IN ENID FOR A HUG AFTER NOT WANTING TO HUG HER OMG I LOVE THEM

"you're always gonna be my favorite, Wednesday" "tell that to Pugsley" peak sibling dynamic #2

EUGENE GOT BEE PLUSHIES WHEN HE WOKE UP OMG

I've had Eugene for 2 minutes but if anything happens to him I will kill everyone in this adaptation and then myself

NO BC WE'RE THEY LYING WHEN THEY SAID THAT WEDNESDAY GOT THEM ALL IN DANGER IF IT MENT FIGURING OUT WHO'S THE HYDE???

I LOVE WEDNESDAY BUT IT'S TRUEEEEEE

She legit didn't have to put them in a near death situation if she couldn't protect herself

I forgot this was a Addams family adaptation like- 6 times

GOD DAMN WERE THE EPISODES LONG

If we're not getting a 2 season and this is a cliffhanger series I'm gonna-

ENID GETTING WEDNESDAY A MATCHING SHALL CAPE THING I LOVE HER SM SHE'S MY BBY GIRL

Even though I love wenclair, Enid seems happy with her medusa guy =[

I forgot his name ok-

Ok but HOW OLD I TYLER???

If he's just a highschool drop out with a job then that's fine but i literally heard THAT HE'S 20 WTF-

BUUUUUUUUT if he's like at least 17 then Wednesday has 2 hands if i may

Literally any scene that has Wednesday playing the cello should be on Spotify

Prepare for Wednesday content my dear 23 followers things are about to get wild-

Ok thank you bye-

[emswritingsstuff]

omg carol whispering “close your eyes” and then kissing you. Please

i'm jumping around with all these Carol requests but i was very excited to write this one rahhh

--

Dreams (Carol Peletier x Fem! Reader)

WC: 670

--

The area surrounding you was quiet, not a sound to be heard. It had to have been super late, you didn’t really know as you didn’t care to look at the alarm clock next to your bed before slipping out. You needed some fresh air, just trying to come down from a nightmare. 

Without a doubt your mind was against you, the usual bad dream would come and go but these nightmares we’re a consistent thing now.  Ever since Terminus, you’ve been a nervous wreck. Even if this Alexandria place seemed as legit as they get, you were still scared you all had walked into a very well disguised trap like Terminus. 

Wood creaked under your foot as you bounced your leg up and down, letting your mind get the best of you. Everyone had been seeming to adjust okay, some slower than others, but you had completely shut out Alexandria. You kept trying to tell yourself it was going to be okay, that none of you were going to get hurt here. But every time you slept trying to forget about all the worries, the nightmares would remind you. 

Clutching your jacket around you tightly, you had taken a moment to take in the sights in front of you. All seemingly perfect homes, it really did seem too good to be true. Sighing heavily you let your head rest on your hand. The rattling sound of the door knob to your home made you instantly turn around. Breathing a sigh of relief when the figure that emerged was Carol, who just looked at you with a soft smile. 

“Woke up and you weren’t in bed,” she said softly, taking her place beside you on the stairs. Her hand getting placed on your thigh, holding it comfortingly. Sitting in comforting silence for a minute, you finally letting yourself relax for the first time that night. You wiped your tired eyes and yawning in the process, it was evident in your face you were struggling to sleep. And Carol knew that too, all too well in fact. 

Carol knew every time you had left the bed after a nightmare, and she also knew sometimes you would just lay in bed pretending to sleep. She had always tried to keep you in bed, doing the best she could to comfort you. It was to no avail though. But most of the time you need to be alone, and she respected that. 

Not tonight though, she couldn’t stand seeing you like this. It was eating her up inside, and she was sure your thoughts were eating you up as well. 

“You should come back to bed honey,” Carol had moved her hand to your shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly.  You had simply shrugged in response, not making eye contact in shame. Suddenly, Carol had stood up and reached her hand out, inviting you to take it. She stood there for a second before quietly speaking up again. 

“Sweetie, come to bed before I drag you up there myself,” that caused you to giggle slightly and take her hand. The walk to bed felt surreal, maybe it was the sleep deprivation talking but you for once felt genuinely tired. 

Once to your shared bedroom you both had gotten comfortable in each other's arms. You started to get lost in Carol's eyes, staring at the woman you loved so much and cared for you more than anyone. Her soft touches to your back making you more and more sleepy as she continued. 

Trying to fight off the sleep to keep living in the moment didn’t go unnoticed, Carol softly laughed at your actions and softly spoke. “Close your eyes, and sleep,” she placed a soft but loving kiss to your lips as you finally let yourself fall asleep into her arms. Carol placed one last kiss onto your forehead before falling back to sleep yourself. 

And for the first time in days, you had finally had a sweet dream. And you had fully slept through the night.