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rebeccccccaaa · 9 months ago

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Poker Face!

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Spencer Reid x Reader

:: It’s game night at Rossi’s, a little pasta al dente, poker chips from Emily’s place, and a little too much Italian red wine. Poker after hours becomes a new playing field when you and Spencer decide to finish your game of blackjack back in his place. ::

:: warnings :: smuttt! and super mushy gushy fluff, sex under the influence (both parties drank alcohol), strip poker (kinda you’re playing blackjack), afab!reader, no mention of contraceptives oops...

:: authors’ notes :: i didn’t realize until i finished the story that spencer probably has his own poker set, he’s literally from vegas; anyway thanks for all the love on my last fic too sweet, hope you guys enjoy this one just as much <3

WC~ 3.1 k

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“Ok, ok! That’s enough!” Emily shouted, swinging her glass around.

“Careful, Prentiss. This carpet is fine Italian wool. Gifted from my first mother-in-law,” Rossi scolded, Hotch chuckling beside him.

“You guys are relentless,” she continued.

“I can beat him, I know it!” you shouted, your eyes comically wide.

“No shot, sweetheart. Reid is literally banned from every casino in Vegas, you think you can really beat him?” Derek commented.

“I may not be banned from Vegas casinos, but I never lose Blackjack,” you argued.

“Honey, you’ve lost eight games in a row!” JJ shouted, laughing and holding her stomach.

“Nevermind that! I’m gonna beat you Reid, if it's the last thing I do,” you narrowed your eyes playfully at Spencer, who sat as dealer with a giant grin on his face.

“I hate to interrupt this incredibly captivating game of Blackjack, but I’m kicking you out. It's late and an old man’s got to get some rest,” Rossi interrupted, erupting a series of ‘Boo’s’ and groans.

“Come on, come on. Call your DD’s, call your taxi cabs. Or if you want to stay, you can start washing the dishes,” he bargained.

Suddenly, all at once, everyone stood up practically scrambling and giggling like kids to avoid cleaning up. Penelope, Emily, and Derek hopped into a cab and Hotch drove JJ home then himself considering he hadn't anything to drink that night. That left you and Spencer, lingering on the sidewalk nudging each other in a fit of giggles.

“I assume you’re gonna take a cab?” he asked you.

“That’s the plan.”

“So we can share since I don’t live far from you. I’ll walk from your place,” he suggested.

“Oh no, no. Look what I snatched when everyone started leaving,” you pulled out the briefcase of poker chips that Emily had brought for that night out of your tote, “We’re going to your place and finishing what we started.”

“Oh boy, you have no idea how long it's gonna take. We’re gonna be up all night!” Spencer laughed, and you gasped.

“You’re an asshole,” you shoved him, before calling a taxi.

You squeezed in the back of the cab, legs bumping against each other. You felt your skin light up, you’ve always felt a certain way about Spencer. I mean who wouldn’t? Well actually, not a lot of people. You always tried to hide the pangs of jealousy or your faces of reluctance whenever the women you were working with or interviewed on cases would flirt with him, unnecessarily albeit. This happened more often than you care to admit or notice.

You walked into Spencer’s apartment, tossing your bag on the couch before falling to your knees and putting the briefcase on his coffee table. You opened it up and began shuffling the cards, quite intensely to make sure Spencer wasn’t going to cheat. You knew he wasn’t, his brain was too smart, but you did it for confidence instead.

“Do you want anything to drink?” he asked from the kitchen.

“Whatcha you got?” you asked.

“I’ve got a couple of beers, probably a little old. Oh, I still have the bottle of wine that Rossi gave to us for the new year,” he told you.

“Oh! Bring the wine! We’ll drink the beers later,” you winked at him, “Let’s get the fucking party started.”

It was late into the night now. You lost count how many times you’d lost to Spencer already. Just a couple of hours passed, and the wine was almost finished. You and Spencer couldn’t stop laughing and wiggling around. As Spencer shuffled the deck, a request you made him do after every turn, you came up with a devilish idea. One that would definitely get you in trouble should the outcome be anything other than what you would hope.

“Ooh,” you cooed, mischievously.

“What?” Spencer questioned.

“Oh, nothing, just had an idea,” you were smirking, or rather trying really hard not to burst into laughter.

“This can’t be good,” he mumbled, shaking his head.

“Why don’t we spice things up, shall we?”

“No, no way,” Spencer already knew what you were going to say.

“Strip Poker!”

“No!” he shouted, a big smile on his face contradicting his words.

“What, you scared? Scared that suddenly I’m starting to beat you and you’re gonna have to take all your clothes off?” you teased.

“No, I am a gentleman and I’m not gonna sit through watching you take all your clothes to prove a point,” he argued sassily.

“You are way too confident for your own good, Dr. Spencer Reid. You’re just chicken.”

“Ok, fine then. You dealer, or am I?” he asked, pouring the last bit of wine into your cup.

“Why don’t you hit me this time,” you said.

“You got it,” he responded, “Care to shuffle while I grab the beers?”

“Of course. About time we crack those open,” you smiled widely.

Now sitting down, face to face. Staring intensely at each other for a moment, hints of mischief and amusement in both your eyes. As you shuffled the cards well, Spencer couldn’t help notice the way your eyes were practically sparkling in the warm light of his apartment. How soft your skin looked in the light too. He doesn’t know when it happened. If it happened just now, or maybe he’s always felt this way about you.

Maybe it was those times where he felt a little more protective over you than the others on more brutal cases. The feeling of responsibility for you, to guide you, when you first join the team since you were the same age. Or maybe it was when you let him practically talk your ear off about peculiar facts regarding the case you had wrapped up. The small smile of your face knowing he thrived in these moments. The sweet giggle you let out when Morgan and Prentiss groaned knowing he would begin yet another tangent.

Yeah, it was definitely then he realized how special you were and how much he wanted to keep you in his life; in more ways than one.

But in this moment, when you handed him the cards with the most devilish smirk on your face, Spencer felt a wave of avidity, longing for you more than he ever has before. He felt so conflicted about the game you were about to play. He respected you so much and yet craved to see you, to have you, in this very way for so long already. He didn’t know what to do. He dealt the cards however, entertaining the idea, and you tapped the table for cards before taking a big swig of your beer.

“Fuck,” you muttered under your breath, Spencer’s breath hitched.

You took off your earrings first and Spencer quirked an eyebrow.

“What? Were you expecting me to take off my shirt right away?”

“No,” he shrugged before giving you the deck to shuffle again.

“I swear to-” you cursed, pulling off one of your rings this time.

Your shoes came off, then your socks. All your accessories were scattered on the table before you. The last game you stood up unbuttoning your pants. Spencer clenched his jaw, averting his eyes downward as you peeled your pants down your legs. It took quite literally everything in him to not drool over you. You sank back down to the ground, the bottom half of your body shielded by the table and Spencer looked back at you again. He dealt the cards. You asked for a card, and Spencer knew then you would lose. The probability was certain. When he hit Blackjack and you didn’t, Spencer gulped and you sighed in defeat.

Staring boldly at Spencer, you disrobed your last garment that would give you some kind of modesty. Your bra is on full display with nothing else but your pair of underwear. You had a crucial decision to make if you ended up losing again and you were seriously considering that would be the case, the butterflies erupting violently in your belly.

“We don’t have to keep going,” Spencer cleared his throat.

“And why would I do that?” Maybe it was the alcohol in your system that gave you this sudden courage, this seduction. You were starting to have fun seeing Spencer squirming on the couch, the bobbing of his Adam’s apple. You suddenly wanted to egg this round on as long as you can.

“Ok, then,” he muttered, as he dealt the cards, slowly this time.

Spencer had a face down card, assuming it was a value of ten like always, and an eight. You had a seven and a three, you were fucked. You needed an ace and you’d hit blackjack, or you could build up; but that’s risky. Maybe Spencer can go over. You had a chance, you know it. Your chest was moving fast and shallow, but your face was stoic and firm. Spencer on the other hand was antsy; his eyes frantic and his leg bouncing. You knew he was staring at your chest. You planned to use it to your advantage. Was it fair game? Yeah, yeah it was. It wasn’t your fault he was distracted.

“Hit me,” you egged.

“You got it,” he responded.

A five. Fuck.

Spencer hit himself and he drew a seven. Those are bad cards. He most likely went over and you might actually finally beat him.

“One more time, boy wonder,” you snapped. A six. A beautiful six of hearts.

“I stand,” he mutters, probably knowing he lost.

“Let’s see those cards, baby,” you teased.

“You first,” he told you, and placed your cards.

“Blackjack, baby!”

Spencer laid his cards revealing his seven and eight and underneath a nine, he busted; the cards of course. You won, you finally won. You jumped up in celebration, prancing in your undergarments around the room giggling and cheering.

“I did it! I fucking did it! I beat the boy genius, fair and fucking square! You lose Spencer, loser!” you shouted taunting him and he couldn’t help the smile painted in his blushing face; he almost forgot you were prancing around almost naked in the middle of his apartment.

“I- I was distracted,” he shuttered.

“Damn right you were,” you joked, squeezing your breasts to flaunt them in his face.

“It wasn’t fair game,” he bantered.

“It wasn’t fair game, my ass. I won and you lost, and you’re being a sore loser,” you mocked as you walked towards him like a panther, playfulness and seduction dripping from your tongue.

Spencer took the moment you walked near and grabbed your wrist yanking you to stumble into his lap. You were shocked, surprised, a little turned on. You held onto his shoulders, your breathing a little quicker than before. You tried to convince yourself it was from the celebratory dance and not the growing bulge from Spencer that poked you from beneath.

“I told you, I was distracted,” he told you, his hands finding a place at their hips. Fingers caressing delicately the hem of your underwear.

“Blah, blah,” you whispered.

“Don’t give me that.”

“Now, Spence, I believe there is something you have to do, is there not?” you whispered.

“What’s that?” he bantered.

“You lost.”

“Right, unfairly I might add,” he joked.

“If all you’re gonna do is talk, then let me do the honors,” you told him.

“Be my guest.”

Your fingers pulled gently at his tie he wore, pulling over his head and tossing it to the side on the floor. You started unbuttoning his shirt, Spencer staring with heavy eyes at you as you did so.

“I thought we were only taking off one item. We should play another round then if you want my shirt off,” he teased you, bringing his hands to gently hold your wrists.

“Like that’s gonna happen,” you rolled your eyes playfully.

Spencer relaxed against the back of the couch as you unbutton his shirt all the way. You brought your lips down to kiss softly at his collarbones and his shoulder. Moving along his chest to kiss the other side. His hands moved slowly against your hips, fingers sliding between the fabric of your underwear and your skin. Your skin erupted in chills, a tingle running through your spine making your ears feel hot. You dragged your nose along his strong jawline before nipping your teeth playfully against his cheek.

He brought his hands up, fingertips tracing your spine until he reached your bra. He skillfully unhooked it leaving you a bit breathless for just a second but a second too long. You could feel it, without even needing to look at him, to know he had such a teasing smile on his gorgeous face. You wanted nothing more than to kiss it off him.

You shrugged your bra off, tossing behind him giving him a playful wink which made him chuckle. You brought his hands to your breasts as you pulled his head towards you by the back of his neck to kiss him feverishly. Something you both had wanted to do for quite some time now. You wiggled your hips a bit, feeling the prodding against your center, which made Spencer groan lowly in the kiss; his hands squeezing your breasts hard in discomfort.

“Fuck, you’re gonna drive me insane,” he told you.

“Let me say hi to your little friend, Spence. Or do you want to play for that too?” you taunted him.

“God, no. I couldn’t wait a whole other hour for you to beat me again,” he bantered making you scoff and roll your eyes; his hands shot straight to his zipper to pull his pants down just enough for the both of you.

You were practically itching to get your panties off. Standing up suddenly, both you and Spencer reached instinctively to pull them off you, his lips attaching themselves to your soft belly and hips. He freed himself from the constricting fabric of his pants and pulled you down, or rather yanked you to him. You couldn’t help the bubbly laugh that came from you making Spencer smile blissfully.

You bite your lip as you reach between your bodies, lining Spencer up against you perfectly. The warmth radiating from you was driving him crazy. It took everything in him to not suddenly take control and rut his hips against you. You sank slowly down on his length, not so little, you thought yourself.

“Oh jeez, I feel like I could come already,” you gasped, the pressure building in the pit of your stomach felt already overwhelming. Maybe it was the fact you hadn’t had sex in years. You felt starved of this kind of touch, this kind of intimacy. The kind of feeling of Spencer’s cold fingertips touching and gliding across your skin like you were glass. Yeah, that was the feeling you didn’t know you needed, you didn’t realize you craved so much until this very moment.

“I’m a bit embarrassed to admit the same,” he chuckled breathlessly, “If you don’t start moving, I’m not gonna be able to hold myself back any longer.”

You took this as the green light to start rocking your hips back and forth. One hand resting against his cheek and the other stabilizing yourself against the frame of the couch. Spencer’s hands rocked with you, his way of helping and understanding the rhythm you were going. He started, with gaining confidence, to buck his hips into you and that’s when the pleasure began to build. You panted heavily above him, moans every now and then escaping your mouth to echo against the walls of Spencer’s small apartment.

“Shit. You feel so good,” he breathed out, “I thought I’d last longer.”

“Please, please don’t come yet,” you begged; bringing your forehead to his. You could see his skin becoming shiny with sweat, his cheeks flush with redness. Spencer, determined to make you come before him, or at the very least with him, reached between your thighs rubbing fast and swift circles against your clit. Your hips jerked with pleasure and Spencer’s name dripped from your lips like honey.

“Oh, that’s it,” Spencer whispered. His free hand came up and pulled you in a passionate and sloppy kiss. His tongue entwined with your and you moaned wildly as did he. His brain was fuzzy, not that your’s wasn’t also, with the sounds of sex, the rhythm of your hips, the warmth of your slick soaking his fingers.

“I’m close, fuck I’m so close, Spence,” you whined.

“Let go, sweetheart.”

“Ngh!” you moaned loudly. You dipped your head forward resting your forehead in the crook of his neck. Your bodies were so close, your bare chests pressed against each other. You both could feel the other’s breath and slowly you began to match each other’s erratic rhythm the closer you got to your climaxes. You messily pressed your lips against Spencer’s one last time before the wave of electrifying pleasure overcame you.

When you came down from your high, all you could feel and hear in that moment was Spencer. His soft pants brushing your ear, his arms cradling you close, his subtle leg shaking from what you assume was him also coming with you.

“That was really good,” you giggled.

“It really was,” he agreed.

“I’m gonna tell everyone about this,” you whispered wickedly.

“What?” Spencer questioned fearfully.

“I beat you in Blackjack,” you reminded him, making him laugh loudly.

“Give it a rest you would?” he sighed.

“No way. I’m gonna tell everyone. And everyone’s gonna tease you because I beat you fair and square. Unless, you wanna admit that my boobs were distracting you from your card counting tricks,” you teased.

“Alright, you won fair and square,” he smiled blissfully at you, his eyes soft and gentle in the warm light.

You giggled sweetly bringing him in a tender kiss, definitely not for the last time that night. Your bodies were entwined for the rest of the night until the tepid sunrays peaked meekly through the curtains of Spencer’s bedroom window. The two of you sharing giggles between the sheets with his arms embracing you the way they had been all night. Needless to say, blackjack continues to be your favorite poker game. Especially now more than ever.

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kingofbodyrolls · 4 months ago

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BTS fic recs: August 2024

Hi! Thank you so much for looking at my fic recs— I truly hope you find something that you haven’t read, or something to reread maybe? Please show all of these wonderful authors some love on their original post to let them know they made something wonderful ✨

Some of the authors on this list is on hiatus, but please don’t let that stop you from reblogging or commentating on their story— because you don’t know when they might pop back in and see your lovely comment/reblog, so please— if you like something, show some love to the author 🥰

I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹

❗Most of these fics are smutty or dark as hell, so minors dni.❗

If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the fic, it might seem like a tiny gesture, but it really means a lot for writers and I can guarantee it will put a smile on their faces💜 Let’s share and give lots of love!

Looking for more to read? Check ‘The Library’ or last years recs ��

[index] → jan | feb (jhs) | mar (myg) | apr | may | jun | jul | 💜 | sep (jjk)(knj) | oct (pjm) | nov | dec (ksj)(kth) |

Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻, fantasy = 🪄.

⭐Discord Discourse: pt1 and pt2 (series; discontinued) @joheunsaram [4k] // knj x f.reader // idol!au, internet relationships, s2l, fanfic writer!reader // 🌩️🥰

📝 Kim Namjoon likes to spend time in a discord server… dedicated to him. With new friends and a budding crush, will he ever be able to truly be himself without revealing who he is?

🗨️ oh this one is so good! It’s amazing! The concept and plot is soo funny! I would be scared if this happened to me 😂

⭐You Set My Heart on Fire: pt1 and pt2 (series; completed) @hayjeon [21k] // knj x f.reader // one night stand, s2l, workplace!au, fireman!Namjoon + paramedic!reader // 🌩️🥰🥵

📝 as a surgeon forced to volunteer as a paramedic in the Seoul Fire Department during an unfortunate probation incident, your one and only goal was to get to work, do your thing, and get the hell home and back to your original high-salary job. But when the SFD’s Chief is the incredibly attractive, cocky, and persistent Kim Namjoon, things start to get heated.

🗨️ holy shit this is amazing 💖 Namjoon as a firefighter? So fucking hot 🔥 oc as a surgeon turned paramedic ✨ and all the action, the tension, the friends with the whole crew and all the guys??? 🥹 Fuck. This one is amazing, another favorite!

⭐Show Me How @imaginationofacrazyfangirl [3.9k] // knj x f.reader // tinder!au, virgin!au // 🥵

📝 you swiped right on a nerd, instead you got a Greek God. Or tired of your virginity, you decide to throw caution to the wind and find a hookup on tinder.

🗨️ omg this is really amazing! I’m going to warn you that it ends on a cliffhanger and there’s no other part to it, but it’s so amazing and it’s worth a read even though you’ll 100% be left wanting more 🥹😂 Their chemistry is so off the charts and the foreplay is so good 👏🏾

⭐Real Magic @here2bbtstrash [16.7k] // knj x f.reader // christmas!au, workplace!au, single dad!Namjoon // 🥵🥰

📝 the holiday season has never meant anything to you beyond suffering long hours for minimum wage and awaiting the collapse of capitalism— but this year, you’d be willing to add making out with your dilf coffee shop boss to the list.

🗨️ omg this was just so fucking amazing 🥰 I love everything about it and the plot was so fluffy 🥺 Namjoon was just so fluffy and I love his kid ✨ Such a sweet holiday fic, and even if it isn’t read around Christmas time it will bring a smile to your face. It’s truly amazing 💯💜

⭐Sweet Company @remedyx [4.4k] // knj x f.reader // coffee shop!au, christmas!au, s2l // 🥰

📝 no one should ever have to spend the holidays alone. Coffee makes for better conversation than eggnog anyway.

🗨️ ih this was so cute and fluffy with a sprinkle of angst. I really loved the length that Namjoon went through for oc and it was such a sweet gesture 🥹 It’s completely SFW!!!

⭐Lost & Found @l0mljeonjungkook [9.6k] // knj x f.reader // single mom!reader, bf2l // 🥰🥵

📝 eight years beside him were nothing but a roller coaster ride. Being a single mother wasn't easy, but your best friend, Kim Namjoon made your way smooth. You never knew you felt something for him until you read his diary, which you weren't supposed to read ever. What will you do, if not only you but Hyeon, your baby, and your best friend Namjoon, wants the same, what you desired for so long?

🗨️ this was cute 🥹

⭐All Mine @cui-nisi [3.8k] // ksj x f.reader // college!au, fwb, e2l // 🥵

📝 with Jin being the student body president, you have to keep your purely sexual relationship on the DL, but what happens when it’s no longer just sexual?

🗨️ oh I really liked this one! The tension and energy between oc and Seokjin uffff 🔥

⭐Textbook Love @helenazbmrskai [11.6k] // ksj x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au, writer!reader, f2l // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 loving your best friend’s brother is forbidden so what is even more forbidden you might ask. It’s writing smut about him. Can you still remain friends after he discovers your secrets?

🗨️ iiihhh, it was so good! ✨🥵

⭐Small Tuna Fish @floralseokjin [17.1k] // ksj x f.reader // college!au, f2l // 🥵🥰

📝 Kim Seokjin is a really nice guy. (Not to be confused with a ‘Nice Guy’). Too nice for someone like you, you’re sure. Which is why you’ve been attempting to ignore what’s going on between you. He couldn’t possibly be flirting with you. He couldn’t possibly like you. Could he? It the end, it takes one charity car wash event and one – or two, depending on how dirty your mind is – soakings to make things very clear.

🗨️ damn, this was so funny, sweet and sexy at the same time ✨💯 loved the plot, the car wash–the wetness?? Omg. Everything was so fucking perfect 💖

⭐Dream Come True @sugaurora [16.8k] // ksj x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au, f2l // 🥵🥰

📝 since your brother had warned you years ago that his best friend Seokjin was off limits, you’d only allowed yourself to safely fantasize about him in your dreams. You’re not sure why tonight his lips feel so much softer and his hands so much warmer than usual, but you’re also not about to complain.

🗨️ shit I’m in love with this 🤧 It’s so fucking amazing, beautiful, sweet and fluffy. I lived it so much 💖 💯

⭐With You @yoonpobs [22.1k] // ksj x f.reader // marriage!au, divorce!au, childhood friends2lovers // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 marrying your childhood best friend was not the love story that most painted it to be. you knew that better than anyone else.

🗨️ I really adore stories where the characters undergo emotional development 🥹 and these… They grow so much, and they even have supportive friends and family 🤧 Jin was a bit of a douche yes but he learned from his mistakes (hopefully keeps at it) and I really loved everything in it 🤧✨ I also loved that Jin suggested couples therapy, because I think that would be a big assert for them to achieve a healthier marriage 🥹 and when he asked oc on a date, and she went “but were married?” 🤭 also, I really think that going on dates while married is a really good way to keep the marriage alive too 🥰💜 I really loved it 💯

⭐Warm This Winter @jamaisjoons [51.6k] // ksj x f.reader (ft. ex!jjk) // one night stand, s2l, exes (jjk), christmas!au // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 spending the winter vacation with an ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend was not something anyone would ever consider doing. spending the winter vacation with both an ex-boyfriend, his new girlfriend, and the one night stand you’d used to try to get over him, well that was a whole other situation that anyone sane would have fled from. and yet, here you are. caught between your best friend (and consequently your ex-boyfriend), and the very same man who you’d fallen into bed with after a night of wallowing in self pity. all while stuck in the picturesquely beautiful - and cruelly romantic - austrian alps. well. at least you can say you had an interesting christmas.

🗨️ PERFECTION 💯 This was so fucking incredible, I don’t know where to begin… I love Jin in this, he’s so fucking funny charming, sweet, kind and witty. He’s so him. The dynamic between all of the characters was amazing, and the tension and unresolved feelings between oc and Jungkook was so fucking good! I loved all the jealousy too, and then the fading of the jealousy. When things shifted for oc, how Seokjin helped her, and in that, she fell for him 🤧 Such a lovely Christmas story! There’s a lot of angst in it, yes, and tension, dear god, the tension is so good 😭 there humor, happiness, live and friendship. And missed chances, living with consequences 🥹✨ IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. IF YOU HAVEN’T READ IT BEFORE, DO IT NOW, AND IF YOU HAVE, READ IT AGAIN 💖

⭐The Devil Wears Valentino @orchidyoonkook [10.4k] // myg x f.reader // devil!Yoongi, “friends” to lovers, spooky!au // 🥵🥰🌩️👻🪄

📝 having known him for years—from a small mistake on your behalf, and a favour on his—you’re one of the only people he seems to be able to put up with for company. Certainly the only one he’s half-way decent with. But what’s more surprising to you is that despite his name, reputation, and the fact he’s always joked he’d have killed anyone else by this point, is that he’s never once tried to cause you harm. Actually, he’s almost…protective of you. In his own weird way. And obnoxiously flirty.

🗨️ there is just so much in this one, and it’s so fucking amazing!!!! There’s so much lore, and brilliant storytelling and the writing was just so fucking suberb ✨ This is hands down one of the best stories I’ve ever read, and I’m so happy I did and I’ll revisit this story again sometime, because, fuck, it was just soo fucking good!!! 😭 I think this will be a perfect read at least once a year, preferably around Halloween— and then also on Yoongi’s birthday, because 🥵 Really, you should read this anything, multiple times! This has really become one of my personal favorites 💎

⭐By the Time I’ve Figured Out What it’s Worth @ugh-yoongi [20k] // myg x f.reader // musician!Yoongi, est. relationship, marriage!au // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 you used to find comfort in it—listening to those old songs. the shy sounds of falling in love, the tinkling of a ring in a dish, the inevitable crash and burn. all those songs aren’t so comforting anymore, when you’d do anything to keep him and yoongi’s got one foot out the door.

🗨️ this was so heartbreakingly good, I don’t know where to begin!? It’s so raw and real, and this is very special to me, because I relate to the plot a lot. It really describes some struggles of marriage and relationships so well, how they handle the tough times! It was such a good read! Is it angsty? Yeah. Did I cry? Yeah. It was just perfection. I was really moved by this. So relatable, raw and realistic. So emotional. So beautiful 🤧💖

⭐The Seventh Muse @wwilloww [6.7k] // myg x f.reader // f2l, librarian!au // 🥵🥰

📝 as a writer, your favorite place in the world is the library. But you’re quickly coming to realize that it might not be the books that keep drawing you back, but the handsome, smart librarian who always knows exactly what you need.

🗨️ Cute and I really like it 💖

⭐Too High @ysljoon [1.7k] // myg x f.reader x fwb!Hoseok // toxic relationships, ex!Yoongi// 🌩️

📝 you haven't moved on from your ex, can someone else pick up the pieces for you or are you going to keep yourself in the cycle of the failed relationship?

🗨️ Oh this was bittersweet 🥺 going back to a guy who hurt you (I’m guessing emotionally), but he’s your home and comfort 🥺 I can see why OC’s toxic in her behavior, and I feel sad for everyone involved 🤧 The story is really good and it’s very emotional 💖

⭐Three Tangerines (series; ongoing) @kithtaehyung [n/a] // myg x f.reader // fuckboy!yoongi, brother’s best friend!au, age gap!au // 🌩️🥵🥰

📝 Throughout high school, you sometimes caught glimpses of your brother’s older friends: some of them were sweet, some of them were smart. but the one closest to him? that guy was a total f*ckboy from day one. after a foray of horrid relationships spanning years - ending with one that broke up with you for an alarming reason - you needed advice on what the hell you were doing wrong… and this wasn’t a conversation for anyone sweet or smart.

🗨️ 3tan is back on the list!!! 🥰 In case you haven’t read the new drabble of 3tan717 ‘Bet Wrong’ please go do it now, it’s so fucking good, sweet and dirty ✨

⭐Swing Life Away @aphrodijin [5.2k] // myg x f.reader // marriage!au, pregnancy!au // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 it's your first anniversary as a married couple but not only did you forget today's special occasion, you also didn't prepare a self-made gift for your husband -- except for the bundle of joy in your womb.

🗨️ This was so fucking cute and sweet!! Omg I loved it so much 😭💯💜

⭐Minted (series; ongoing) @/kithtaehyung [9.4k] // myg x f.reader // haegeum!au, gang!au, street king!Yoongi, street cart vendor!reader // 🌩️🥵

📝 all you do is wake up, sell your fruit on the dusty streets below your flat, and go to sleep. but everything changes when a customer you always look forward to seeing turns out to be dangerous. really, really dangerous.

🗨️ Another amazing story from Ryen! This Yoongi is dark and so so interesting. There’s a lot of suspense, tension and angst, but it’s so fucking good! It’s fast paced, and it’s a slow burn at the same time— don’t ask me how Ryen does that, but it’s perfect! 👏💖

⭐Not Interested @sehunpeachy [20k] // jhs x f.reader // e2l, college!au, swim team!au // 🥵🥰🌩️😂

📝 nobody has ever succeeded at swooping you off your feet. that is until you become coach assistant for your college’s swim team and maybe then, you learn everybody deserves a chance at love.

🗨️ wow, wow, wow. Enemies to lovers? �� The tension between them was so fucking good, and the fact that it was a swim team??? Ehm hello? It was so wet, juicy and perfect!!! I loved everything in it (it was also witty and funny!) ✨💯

⭐After Hours @yminie [5.3k] // jhs x f.reader // retail!au, workplace!au, manager!hoseok // 🥵

📝 it’s no secret your manager is very, very good looking. So what can be expected of you when you spend one too many nights locked up on your own with him?

🗨️ manager Hoseok? I would not be able to function at work 🥵 it was so hooooot ✨

⭐Stop Being so Cute @thatmultifandomhoe [3.4k] // jhs x f.reader // coffee shop!au, s2l // 🥰

📝 intentionally left blank by the author.

🗨️ this was so cute 🥹💖

⭐Gone Wild @johobi [6.5k] // jhs x f.reader // bf2l, fwb, roommate!au // 🥵

📝 Hoseok consumes porn like he does Cheetos: in unhealthily large amounts. He’s seen, and jacked off to, most things imaginable. But there are those photos that always draw him back…

🗨️ fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It was so amazing ✨💯 The tension?? So high and hot! The smut? I don’t know where to begin?? 🥵

⭐Me & You @/jamaisjoons [6.5k] // jhs x f.reader // bf2l // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 your relationship with your best friend has always been strange - especially since you started as friends with benefits.

🗨️ this was so fucking hot I’m going KAVSVDBAKAVFK 🤧

⭐Fake Love @aquaminwrites [16.2k] // jhs x f.reader // fake dating!au, christmas!au, e2l // 🥵

📝 every year, your family spends the holidays at your parents’ cottage in the country. Freshly single and not wanting to be picked apart by your family for being alone, you decide to recruit one of your friends to pretend to be your boyfriend. The only available volunteer? Your brother Namjoon’s roommate, Hoseok. Only problem? He absolutely hates your guts.

🗨️ I just love Christmas stories, and then you add a fake relationship, only one bed and enemies and brother’s best friend??? Hello. It was awesome, thank you very much ✨ I really loved it 💖 so, so good! 💯

⭐Potent Pink (series; discontinued) @dntaewithluv [6.9k] // pjm x f.reader // neighbor!au, fuckboy!au // 🥰🌩️😂

📝 the first time you see Park Jimin you’re instantly entranced by him. And it turns out he lives in the apartment next to the one you’re moving into, so even better he’s your hot neighbor. When the previous tenant confesses to you that he was the best hook up she ever had, you’re that much more intrigued. The first time you meet him, however, you’re deciding immediately that you hate him and want to stay as far away from him as possible. Jimin is determined to be a constant in your life though, and he definitely is that. Both a constant flirt and a constant pain in your ass. Is a ruined second impression enough to prevent you from ever giving him a second chance?

🗨️ it was so good! And I feel like I want to know so much more about why Jungkook doesn’t like Jimin, why he’s saying not to invite him into OC’s life. It was such a good prologue! 🥹 Sadly it hasn’t been updated, so I’ll make this as a discontinued series… But I still think it’s worth a read because both the writing and the story was so good 💜✨

⭐Mismatched Pages: pt1 and pt2 (series; discontinued) @knjoodles [1.2k + 4.2k] // pjm x f.reader // university!au, writer!au // 🥰🌩️

📝 you love writing. it’s your passion, it’s what you dream to do forever. up until you find out the guy you really like also happens to be the guy who’s stealing your ideas. then it sucks.

🗨️ this was really cute 🥹 it hasn’t been updated after chapter two, so I assume that it’s discontinued. I really like the plot though!!! 💜

⭐Blooming Days @bluekyun [15.3k] // pjm x f.reader // university!au, bf2l, pregnancy!au // 🥰🌩️🥵😂

📝 a typical night for you begins at the library in your favorite chair underneath the lamp in the corner, only to be picked up at 3am by your best friend, Jimin. Despite having slept over in his room several times before, this certain night in Sigma house leads to far more than you ever imagined. But what is to come of your friendship once you reveal those two little lines that will change your lives forever?

🗨️ ahhhh this was so cute, lovely, fluffy and funny! It was also sprinkled with a bit of angst that made me tear up and scared for a moment 🥺 but the ending was happy 🥰 I really loved it 💖💯

⭐Tonight @pjmparadise [6.5k] // pjm x f.reader // idol!au, s2l // 🥰🌩️

📝 during a visit to New York, Jimin stops in front of a bar in passing and takes notice of you inside; lonely, gloomy, and so beautiful. He’s immediately drawn to you and can’t shake the image of you. He returns later that night, hoping he can still meet you. But will you feel the same way?

🗨️ this was cute 🥹 And for some reason, this felt very “who” coded 🥹 really fluffy but it’s a bit bittersweet, but hopeful ending! I really loved it 💖

⭐Never Falling + Forever Falling + Free Falling @yoonia [21k + 30.5k + 22k] // pjm x f.reader // e2l, singer!Jimin, non-idol!au, workplace!au, assistant!reader // 🌩️🥵

📝 for Park Jimin, you are everything he will ever need—his assistant, his housekeeper, his task runner, his fairy godmother. For you, he is more than everything. You have dedicated your life for him and, before you even realised it, your heart belongs to him alone. The only problem is that he is never yours, and you are living in a world that your love for him is nothing more than a fairytale ending. As you are suddenly given a chance to wake up and face the real world, will you be ready to embrace it? Will he be ready to deal with the world without you in it?

🗨️ this has been on my trl for forever, and then, it was only a one-shot, so color me pleased and pleasantly surprised to find out that this is now a freaking trilogy 🤯✨ I loved everything in it, and it’s so fucking amazing— if you have not already read it, you are certainly missing out! This is definitely one of my all time favorites 💎

⭐Eldorado @smoochkooks [38k] // pjm x f.reader // gold diggers!au, e2l, slowburn, adventure!au // 🥰🌩️🥵

📝 not all that glitters is gold but you, qualified gold digger, carrying on your back immense experience acquired all around the globe, came to the city of el paso del conte with one goal in your mind: to hit the jackpot of the eldorado of Texas. and nothing, no tragedies and adversities will stop you from pursuing it. but in every fairytale-like, too-good-to-be-true story, there’s a catch. this time, it comes in the name of park jimin, annoyingly handsome archeologist, your sworn enemy and biggest rival.

🗨️ this has been on my trl list for some many fucking years 😭 well, I finally got to read it! And it was amazing, it was so fucking funny! Filled with witty banter, jokes and stereotypical jokes 😂 World building was so good too! And the smut? Fire 🥵 I really loved it 💖💯

⭐Backseat Serenade @jungkxook [10.7k] // kth x f.reader // est. relationship, band!au, brother’s best friend, punk!Taehyung // 🥵

📝 falling in love and having weekly sex with kim taehyung is wrong for a number of reasons — and, no, that’s not including the whole other issue that he’s also your brother’s best friend

🗨️ This was so fucking amazing 🥵💜✨

⭐Any Way You Want It @noteguk [6.6k] // kth x f.reader // childhood bf to lovers // 🥵🥰

📝 in which your best friend, Taehyung, finds out about your unsatisfying sexual experiences and decides to put an end to that track record himself.

🗨️ fuck this was so cute, and fuck the smut was so hot 🥵✨💯

⭐Supernova @whatifyoulivelikethat [n/a] // kth x f.reader // bf2l // 🥵😂

📝 Kim Taehyung is your best friend. Considering him as anything more was asking for a collapsed relationship. You two were just two points in the sky, side by side, always shining together. Stars aren’t meant to collide, right?

🗨️ ØANFBGÆSB. Yep. Speechless. It was so hot! Amazing! And funny too ✨💜

⭐Rent-a-BoyfriendTM + drabble @jimlingss [12k] // kth x f.reader // s2l, fake dating!au // 😂🥰

📝 left intentionally blank by the author.

🗨️ fuck this was so freaking cute and fluffy with a small sprinkle of angst. Perfection 👏🏾 🥰💯

⭐The Assistant: pt1 and pt2 (series; completed) @lavienjin [3.8k] // kth x f.reader // workplace!au, assistant!Taehyung, boss!reader // 🥵🌩️

📝 Kim Taehyung is your assistant and moonlights as a masseuse in the evening. When you came to the office the morning after a bad date, all you wanted is his hands all over your body.

🗨️ really liked this one ✨💜

⭐Lovestruck @seokstrivia [9k] // kth x f.reader // jock!au, s2l, slowburn // 🥵🥰

📝 it was love at first sight, however, what you had imagined was very different from real life. In other words, Kim Taehyung didn’t know you existed.

🗨️ cute, cute, cute 🥰

⭐Chasing Cars (series; completed) @oddinary4bts [218.5k] // jjk x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au, forbidden love!au, college!au, slice of life!au // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?

🗨️ the series are completed! I still need to read the last chapter, but it's so fucking good 💜 If you haven't read this one yet, you really should, and remember to read all the drabbles from JK's pov for each chapter ✨

⭐Bottle Up Old Love @wintaerbaer [4.6k] // jjk x f.reader // exes to lovers // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 Jungkook may have broken up with you a year ago, but that's not going to stop him from coming to your rescue when he sees you being cornered by a creep.

🗨️ aaaaaaah this was so good! The smut, the plot (JK is protective and I love it), I really loved everything about this ✨💯

⭐Hold Me Close + Hold Me Closer @ahundredtimesover [22.6k] // jjk x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 when Jimin hits a crisis, he enlists the help of his older sister - you - and his best friend, Jungkook, to put the pieces back again. That proves to be difficult when 1) Jimin’s a brat and a certified pain in the ass, and 2) Jungkook has grown and suddenly, you can’t keep your eyes off him.

🗨️ omg this was so fucking amazing 😭✨ The characters are amazing in this, there’s cute backstory, details and the sibling bond is top tier, and the chemistry between oc and Jungkook is so fucking good! The tension is perfect and I love the slow burn 🥰 I feel this was also a bit on the existential side, which I really love. Like the dialogue had me thinking about my own life! I love when that happens! And it was so fun reading about siblings, and I’m missing my own baby sister right now. Anyway, it was exceptionally good! Amazing! 💯 And there’s a mention of Jungkook’s glazed potato incident you can’t miss! It was so fun (both this and the run episode 😂). Can’t recommend this one enough!!

⭐Right Here @namluve [13k] // jjk x f.reader // 90’s!au, high school!au, fwb to lovers // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 you had always been a part of the plastics and he was born on the wrong side of town. what happens when your worlds collide, and you realize that he is the only one in your life that’s not fake?

🗨️ omg this was so heartbreakingly sad 😭😭😭😭 It was beautiful, and I loved it, don’t get me wrong, but I’m so sad 😭 that ending 🤧

⭐(Un)welcomed Addition @shuadotcom [9k] // jjk x f.reader // neighbors!au, fuckboy!au // 🌩️🥰

📝 after a drunken one night stand with your neighbor, you have your reasons for wanting to forget it ever happened and never talk to him again. Unfortunately, Jungkook wins the award for the world’s worst neighbor so his 3 am wakeup calls and mail stealing have you banging at his door on an almost weekly basis. You just want to make it to the end of your lease so you can leave all the traces of the fuckboy next door behind…unless your feelings get in the way of course.

🗨️ it was funny and cute! I really liked it and there is a plot twist in there that I won’t spoil! ✨

⭐Jump Then Fall (Into You): pt1 + pt2 + pt3 (one-shot; completed) @writtenwhalien [52k] // jjk x f.reader // bf2l, cruise!au, fake dating!au // 🌩️🥰🥵

📝 bringing Jungkook along as your date to your ex’s lavish cruise wedding seemed like a perfect idea at first — all of your family and close friends together, nothing can go wrong… then Jungkook’s ex shows up and all of a sudden you’re in a years long relationship with him. You don’t mind though, really, how hard can sharing a cabin and pretending to be deeply in love with your best friend really be?

🗨️ this story is so fucking good! I love everything in it, and the characters are so good and detailed (even the minor characters!!!). This is totally a new all time favorite of mine 🌟

⭐Dragonheart (ongoing series) @captain-joongz [22.1k+] // ot7 x f.reader // dragon rider!au, high fantasy!au, e2l // 🥵🌩️🥰😂

📝 the Gong-li Empire has been on the peak of its power for a little over a millenium, and there was a very simple reason for that - dragonkind. When the first emperor of the Li Dynasty struck a deal with a witch that would allow him to bind dragons to the crown and force them into obedience, it was the beginning of its reign of terror and the end of freedom for creatures as old as nature itself. Now, a woman hoping to change everything enters the ranks of the elite dragon rider unit among the imperial army and meets seven men that not only change her life, but help her change the fate of the whole world.

🗨️ this is so fucking amazing; there’s a lot of lore to dig into, the characters are good and funny. The storytelling is so good too! I can’t wait to read more of this one ✨ If you love fantasy and dragons, I’m sure you’ll love this one 💜

⭐End of the World: a Flickering Hope + Drabble + Epilogue [4k + 1.2k + 0.9k] // myg x f.reader // s2l, apocalypse!au // 🥵🥰😂🌩️👻

📝 your government has been telling you to prepare for war, just as a precaution given the recent political changes around your country. Did you listen and prepare? No. Are you paying the price now, friends all but gone, and your city burned to pieces? Yes. Survival instincts kicking in, you search for a place to rest, nourish your battered and hungry body, only to find yourself at the porch of a stranger. Will he help you, or leave you to your own demise?

⭐Whalien52 [10.6k] // pjm x f.reader // s2l, dystopian!au // 🌩️🥵👻

📝 you’ve been working for the New World Order as an assassin for years, guarding secrets without batting an eye or asking questions. But when a striking pink haired man shows up at the headquarters stealing information, he makes you question everything. With all of humanity at stake, what will you do?

⭐When It Sinks In [13.1k] // ksj x f.reader // est. relationship, mermaid!au, amnesia romance // 🥵🪄🥰🌩️

📝 life as a mermaid is wonderful, especially when your merman boyfriend, Seokjin, treats you just right. But you’re beginning to recall memories that you don’t think are yours from life on land— from a past life maybe? When you do realize that the memories are in fact your own, the world comes tumbling down around you, questioning your very existence. Are you even a real mermaid?

Thank you so much for reading my rec list, I hope you’ll reblog it to make it reach more people! There’s some insanely good reads on here ✨

If you want more, you’re more than welcome to follow me! I do monthly rec lists and sometimes I post my own writing too (only bangtan).

Love you and borahae 💜

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brandileigh2003 · 2 months ago

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Wolfstar "Hidden gems" underrated fics

~~~please give these authors love, fandom engagement with writers is down and it means more than you know. ~~~

I saw a post about lesser known fics yesterday and decided to try to boost some of my faves. They are under 500 kudos and deserve so much more. (I know that kudos and hits don't mean much at the end of the day, but...)

Feel free to comment or reblog your own fics or your favorites that fit!

-love finds a way by@littleoldrache Jurassic Park au ft disability and trans remus (you really can't go wrong with any of Rachel's fics though, they're amazing)

-The Standard Book Of Spells by Imparfait no voldy hogwarts au

-Tender is the touch (of someone that you love too much) by @purplefiction-ao3 (wip) multiple pov journey of remus waiting for heart transplant

--Engaged for 43 years by @halfravenhalfclaw sirius proposes at first sight at 11, follows til the afterlife (divergent)

--This Is the Way the World Ends by @blitheringmcgonagall sad but beautiful MCD

-Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations by TheQueerTailor Sixth year has just started and Remus is barely keeping up. He's just sixteen but it feels like his body is falling apart.

-Tertiary Colors by krabapple mpreg 1st war divergent, potters live (check out other fics too!)

-Black's Anatomy by @grasslesss greys anatomy fic, remus has lupus

-Give Me A Sign by @theresthesnitch soulmate fic, remus is deaf. (Wip)

-Sweets and Books by Writer_INFJ_2w1: bookshop au, chronic pain

-Babysitting For Dummies by Middleofamoment (37k) au raising teddy get together (theres a sequel and 3rd to come)

-Rarer Than One in a Million by Sp00nhater wolfstar is so soft and sweet, meet in hospital

-Tic Tic Boom by @fictionboysarebetter : Hogwarts fic, remus has tourettes (wip)

-The Ups and Downs of Inevitability by depressed_and_nauseous (check tags deals with heavy topics) remus is in Poppy's care for his safety (wip)

-Small Bones of Courage by Anonymous mcd, please read tags, sensitive topics. Later in life lycanthropy is terminal for remus.

-Flight of Destiny by @lucigoo sapphic wolfstar meet on plane (Luci also has lots of beautiful fics)

-Birthday Blues by YouBlitheringIdiot @blitheringmcgonagall :Sirius is turning sixty and he is appalled...

-Give Quarter to Old Men - @krethes series with older wolfstar

-lazing on a sunday afternoon by peachyybabe domestic slice of life

-I choose you to love for the rest of my life by Writer_INFJ_2w1 sapphic wolfstar wedding

-Puppy Magic by @demonbanisher thefifthmarauder17 magical divergent

-Consider the Lotus by busaikko: Sirius goes with remus to register at the ministry after the prank to show realities of lycanthropy

-Grow As We Go sapphicselene: post 1st war divergent, wolfstar in therapy

-From the Patient Files of Remus J Lupin, 1971 by TheQueerTailor

-While I breathe, I hope by MarigoldWritesThings by @marigold-hills divergent where remus left school after prank

-Without You by daffodilsonaprettystring Titanic mcd (wip)

-Blinded Fate by FatedEcho- Star wars meets wolfstar (wip)

-catch me on the way down by raggedypond

--To die, as lovers may by @moggetbright vampire Sirius and Hunter Remus

-The First Train Home by @houndsinheaven look into 76 and 95

-The Streak by @greyfavorite Remus dressed as a cowboy

-Francesca Syndrome by @coralsunset and diplobeanz: pining Remus

-You Drive Me Crazy by @klilyr based on you drive me crazy

-lights over harvest moon by @shoopsthereitis get together

-maybe time running out is a gift by messrsrarchives @roblogging mcd sickfic

-Love at First Bloom by viwrites @just--vi flower shop au with pining and chronically ill Remus

-cosmic entanglement by @maladaptivewriting wolfstar in every universe!!!!

-Meet Me In The Exosphere by @euripidestrousers top gun au

-Remus lupins guide on how to (not) become a quidditch seeker by Girl_rotting

-we grew up in spite of it by peachyybabe wip, remus has a twin, mcd

-beautiful boy by peachyybabe wip, mcd, based on beautiful boy

This is technically over "kudos cap" but i really don't see it rec'd enough:

-Wishes on Stars by Quietlemonhush, TherestheSnitch fairy tale: remus wishes for a friend

**this post was made in Nov 2024, so hopefully some of these numbers have changed and you've made some authors' day 💙💙

New additions:

-just being neighborly by atropos-aeneas sirius and Remus meet in Azkaban (6k)

~~~lovely reddit post about fics under 1k~~~

#underrated fic recs #hidden gems #fic recs #under 500 kudos #wolfstar #give these authors love #remus lupin #sirius black #marauders #lesser known fics #lesser known authors #but damn they're beautiful #fanfic #under rated fanfic recs

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satxnsupreme666 · 3 months ago

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Torn apart, bound together: Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal x fem!reader

Masterlist

Summary: You met Agatha when she arrived at Westview looking for the source of power, she got closed to you at first with the idea of only getting to Wanda as you seemed to be close to the scarlet witch, what Agatha had not waited for, was that the more she passed time with you, the more her feelings became real, she had fallen for you, even harder than you had done for her, but when Wanda´s hex was destroyed, Agatha absorbed your powers, awful things were said, you were left alone with no one left and with you heart completely broken.

3 years later, when Agatha is released from Wanda´s spell, you were released at the same time, not knowing what had happened during those years and thinking that only some days have passed, or weeks, you find yourself alone one more time, with the images and memories of what had happened, fresh as if it had only happened some days ago, Agatha finds you and wants to fix things, however, now powerless and with the Salem seven behind her, she feels conflicted whether to fix everything or risk everything and lose you again.

Rio had met you many years ago, even before you and Agatha met, you were not aware at the time, you were almost unconscious, but when she had seen your eyes, she became captivated by you, she broke the rules for you, and even if you would never knew who she was, she was happy she had not taken you with her, she watched you from afar, always watching over you, but never daring to break the rules again and go near you, now having you in front of her, she wants to protect you and Agatha, so she helps you to understand why Agatha is the way she is, as well as helping Agatha to understand your pain.

Will the three of you get to understand each other´s feelings in order to heal from the past? Will the three of you be ready to face your feelings and understand what love is really about?

Warnings: Angst, a lot of angst, mentions of a near death experience, mentions of dysfunctional family, stubbornness, mentions of blood, Agatha and you do not know how to properly communicate, I think that´s it.

Word count: 15k+

Author’s notes: Hello, so, I decided to post this that has been in my drafts since two weeks ago, I wanted to wait until all of my old fics were completed uploaded, but I decided to finish writing this and post it, because I didn´t I know if I was going to forget about this idea, so I decided to just wrote it down, I will keep uploading my old fics as well.

I hope all of you like it!

If you enjoy, could you comment, like or reblog? it would help a lot really ♥️

Tag list: @midnight-lestrange @eliscannotdance

｡˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩

“Where am I?” Was the first thing that you wondered, looking around you notice that everything around you seemed different, the living room had different appliances, and all of them were unknown to you, you did not even recognize the decoration around the room, it was not to tour liking, you would never have decided on painting the walls of the color they were right now, it was not a color you liked, nothing about this room was familiar.

The curtains completely closed, stopping the sun light from entering to this foreign place, you did not even remember how you had arrived there in the first place, but did you actually remember something? This place was not somewhere you would already visited, how had you arrived here then? Why couldn’t you remember?

The clothes you had were fine though, they were clothes or they had the stile that you would usually wear, but how? You did not even remember actually getting them at the mall, quickly you turned your head to look at the wall to see if there was a clock hanging in there, but there was not, your phone maybe?

Searching in your pockets you realized there was nothing, where was your phone? Where were your old things? Your usual clothes?

You did not even know what hour of the day was!

So, you quickly walked towards the windows and harshly opened the curtains, the light of the sun hit you straight in the face and you had to bring your hand to your eyes in order to cover the bright light that made you shut your eyes.

After blinking several times, and after about 5 minutes, your eyes got used to the bright light and slowly lowered your hand, you were greeted by the scenery of what had been Eastview, the street had some cars parked in front of some of the houses in front of this house you were in.

Everything seemed to have changed, the houses, the street even the trees! You were about to turn yourself around to go outside and take a look, but you noticed that the fabric of the curtain had gotten stuck with something that was on your wrist, looking down to see what it was, you saw that it was a purple bracelet, and that was when you remembered everything.

It had been weeks ago, or that was what you thought at least, because it felt like only maybe some weeks had passed, or maybe even just days! How wrong you were.

You remembered what had actually happened, the woman whom you had fallen in love with, had lied to you, but it was not only that, she had betrayed you, in the worst way possible, you did not have your magic, she had taken it from you.

Absorbing your power so easily and tricked you, she made you believe she loved you, the woman whom you had told your worst fears, your insecurities, the woman you had shared a house for the past months, she made you believe you could trust in her, that you could actually trust in someone again, she received you with open arms, showed you how love felt, she had told you she wanted to be with you after everything ceased, after the town would finally be free, she had sounded so honest about “wanting to leave this town and start together, just the two of you” how could you have been so naive? She was a master in deception for sure, making someone fall so easily for her, had you been the only one? No, it could not be, she told you one time when the two of you were in bed, how many years she had lived, and as she was so powerful, you were pretty sure you had not been the only one who had been tricked by her, but you surely did not know if that would help you to feel better or even worse, how many other women had fallen for her stupid games?

Had Agatha also made them fall into a false sense of security? Had she smiled at them the same way she had done to you? With her beautiful smile, and that stupid smirk she always had, that damned smirk that made you blush and made you want to cover your face, her white teeth that always were in display when she gave you a big smile telling you “good girl”, or her beautiful baby blue eyes that sometimes seemed to be grey from time to time.

You could not believe how stupid you had been, falling for one of the most powerful witches, thinking that you were so lucky and that she really had truly cared for you, it had been just a dream, a stupid, idiotic beautiful dream.

If Agatha had just fought you to take your powers wouldn’t have been easy for her? Just absorb your magic and leave you there? Why had she enjoyed lying to your face, why had she been so evil to the point she said she loved you and wanted to leave the town with you and start the two of you a new life, far away from the town.

You had to congratulate her, she was an amazing actress, she could easily deceive anyone she wanted, but why you? Were you so easy to fool? So easy to be played? You were a fool, thinking that someone as beautiful and amazing as Agatha would actually love you, c’mon! She took advantage of your loneliness, she noticed of course how you did not have anyone, no one cared for you and so she saw the opportunity to lure you into a false sense of security so that when you were finally so deep in love with her, bam! She would take your magic and toss you aside, as if you were nothing to her, because actually, you were nothing to her, a meaningless, powerless witch.

You wanted to throw the bracelet to the trash, but, thinking back to that time when Agatha had gifted the bracelet to you, you still felt attached to the stupid thing, it had her initials on it.

How could you still feel that way when she had just played you first a fool!?

So, you quickly took it off your wrist and tossed it inside the pocket of your jacket, not wanting to keep feeling ashamed of what you felt.

Shaking your head, you decided to check whose house was the one you were in, nothing seemed familiar, and you really did not remember a lot, vague images of Agatha absorbing your power in her basement, you sobbing in front of her asking how she was capable of being so evil and selfish, her telling you how you could have believed everything she had said, you really wanted to stop remembering that day, it was making you feel ill and angered you how ashamed she had made you felt, you were starting to have a headache, trying to also remember what had happened after that.

You tried really hard to remember what else had happened that you did not notice you had started to pace in circles, what had happened before Agatha has revealed to you her true intentions?

Wanda! You thought about her!

You remembered Agatha had trapped her in her basement, maybe she was still in the town? Maybe the red-haired witch could help you to get your magic back!

Hastily you walked to the exit of the room and saw what appeared to be the principal door, so you walked towards it and opened it, the cold air hit your straight in the face and you shivered a little, the jacket you had was for sure not the best at helping you cover yourself from the cold air, even though the sun was bright and shining the wind felt cold enough to bring another jacket, but it was not the time for that, if Wanda was still in town, you would asked for her help, after all, you and her became good friends, so maybe she would accept to help you, you could explain that you really did not know about Agatha’s plan and that she had also tricked you.

It sounded like a good plan so when you quickly recognized the street you started to walk faster to where Wanda’s house was located.

“Hey y/n” You heard a woman talking to you, after you could keep on walking you saw her walking towards you, she had a big smile on her face.

“Hello?” You said to her looking at the woman a little bit confused, who was she? Why was she talking to you?

“Were you able to gather the ingredients you needed yesterday to prepare your pumpkin pie? Because if the answer is no, I got an extra pumpkin for you!” What was she talking about? A pumpkin pie? The woman must have seen your confused expression and tilted her bead to look at you waiting for an answer, but since you really didn’t know what to say, she quickly came over to you and touched your forehead.

“Are you alright? You seemed paler, have you already eaten?” It was so confusing you didn’t know which she was or what she was talking about, you wanted to go see Wanda to explain to you what was going on, why the town looked so different, why were you in a strange house, the anxiety started to increase so you decided you give a quick answer.

“Oh yes! Don’t worry, I was just about to pick up the ingredients that I need that I just ordered, but also if you would be so kind, I can go to yours lately for that pumpkin! But right now, I am a little bit late because I felt asleep and just woke up and I don’t want the store to sell my order, alright, see you later!”

Oh god, you were such a bad liar.

Not the time to think about that, you gave the unknown woman a quick smile and turned yourself around to walk faster towards Wanda’s house.

After some minutes, you finally saw the corner end of the street that brought you to the avenue in which Wanda’s house was located, your heart started to beat faster, you could hear the thump of your beating heart in your ears, and when you crossed the corner of the street, you saw the empty space where Wanda’s house was supposed to be’

Shocked, you unconsciously brought your hand to cover your mouth.

Your steps became slower but you couldn’t stop to keep on walking towards the debris of what was left of the house.

You were completely shocked, what had happened? Where was Wanda? Where were the kids? Tommy? Billy? Why was the house completely destroyed?

You didn’t understand anything, and the tears started to form on your eyes, you couldn’t stop the tears from falling, what the hell had happened?

It was so strange, so awful, the house in which you had passed several times playing with the kids, baking pastries with Wanda which you would save some of them for Agatha, the place in which you and Agatha had had meals together with the Maximoff family, the house in which you had also created beautiful memories, the house of Wanda your first real friend, where had all of it gone?

It was wrong, it had to be a mistake, right? Maybe just an illusion, yeah, that had to be, your mind was playing with you, it could not be true, maybe if you closed your eyes, and then you opened them again, you would see the house in perfect conditions and Wanda would be inside preparing something for the kids.

“Y/n?…” That voice, you knew damned well that soft voice, what was she doing here?

You quickly opened your eyes and hastily turned yourself around to the direction where the voice came from.

And right behind you, were the pair of baby blue eyes that you had stared into several times, several times that you had thought were looking at you with pure love.

You quickly wiped your tears, not wanting for the older witch to see you in that state, you tried so hard to compose yourself and tried not to show her how uneasy you were feeling.

“What did you do to Wanda” You demanded to know, if something happened to the red-haired witch, Agatha was the one to be blamed for.

Agatha was shocked to see you there, standing in front of Wanda’s house, or what it used to be Wanda’s house, when she saw you again she felt her chest tightening, of course now she remembered everything that had happened, a million things she had wanted to say, but nothing came out of her mouth, it was as if suddenly she had forgotten how to speak, the way you seemed to be in so much pain, your face stained with fresh tears, but also she could see your angry expression, the way your jaw tensed when she realized she was the one who called your name.

Agatha would have liked to have a talk with you privately, explain to you what had happened, say that she was sorry, that she wanted to talk to you about the last things that she said to you.

“What?” Was the only thing that came out of her mouth, Agatha could not understand what were you talking about.

Nothing but a simple what came out of her mouth. How could she?

“What do you mean by what? What did you do to Wanda? Where is she?” She did not understand what did you mean and seeing you so angry and only asking about the witch who had trapped her in a fantasy and also had took all of her magic, she did what she was the best at, she got defensive.

“You mean, what she did to me?” She replied back to you with an arrogant expression on her face.

Was she really doing this about her? You chuckled and sighed deeply. Your hands started to shake out of anger and you were about to say to her to stop playing dumb when you noticed a boy standing next to her, you eyed him with curiosity, he seemed familiar.

“Hi” The dark-haired boy said to you waving his hand in an awkward way, he tried to give you a smile, you were confused, who was this boy and why was he with Agatha?

“So… You know each other?” The teen asked you with a slight chuckle, he could sense the tension.

When he asked you if you knew Agatha, the anger came bubbling inside you.

“She stole my magic!” You said to him exasperated, you went to look back at Agatha, who still had an arrogant expression on her face, you were starting to feel beyond pissed.

“Where.is.Wanda?” You asked her while looking straight into her eyes.

She smirked and you feeling your anger becoming stronger you took a step forward.

“Wait!” You heard the boy saying to you, he held his hands up and placed himself in front of Agatha.

“Move, this doesn’t concern you, she needs to answer my question and give me my magic back” The boy looked at you and then at the debris of the house in front of you and then back at you

“She doesn’t have powers, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even know what you are asking about, when I found her, she thought her name was Agnes, right Agatha?”

The boy moved to the right and placed himself next to Agatha, you didn’t understand, why would she have thought that, unless…

“C’mon, don’t let her deceive you boy, she is a really good liar, she must have been acting, playing you for a fool” You said to him in a bitter way, you didn’t dare to look at the woman who was eyeing you carefully.

“No, I swear, she was under a spell, I woke her from that spell, she doesn’t know what has happened in all those 3 years” The boy explained to you and tried to excuse Agatha, but you didn’t understand what 3 years he was talking about so you looked at him with confusion written all over your face.

“What do you mean with all those 3 years? What is going on? I just know this greedy witch took my magic the other day” You said to him with desperation, you didn’t understand what was going on, who was he, why was Wanda’s house destroyed, why were you in a strange and unknown house.

Agatha felt sorry for you, she hated seeing you so distressed but, but at the same time her pride stopped her from getting close to you.

“What do you remember?” The boy asked you gently.

“I don’t know, one-minute Agatha was absorbing my magic, and the next I was in the middle of a house that I didn’t recognize, with clothes that are not mine and surrounded by people I do not even know” You sounded like you wanted to cry, the teen felt bad for you.

“What’s going on?” You asked him feeling completely lost.

“Listen, I don’t know what happened to you, but I think-“he was interrupted before he could finish.

“You were under the same spell I was in” Agatha finished the sentence tilting her head and looking at you with an expression full of what you assumed was pity.

“What?” You asked her while burrowing your brows, it had to be a joke, right? How could something like that be even possible? Being under a spell for three years? Not remembering anything that happened during three years?

The anxiety started to increase within you, what had you been doing then? Didn’t people realize that it was not you? Didn’t they realize there was something wrong with you?

It was just too much, everything was too much, why was this happening? Why had it happened to you?

It was too much to handle, everything that made you happy was gone, the family you had finally thought you had found had vanished, Wanda who had become your best friend, Wanda who had treated you like if you were even a daughter, whom you always went to talk to if you had a misunderstood with Agatha, the boys whom you used to play with and help Wanda to take care of them from time to time, babysit them sometimes with the help of Agatha, Agatha the older witch who had stolen your heart, the one who had made you feel safe, the one you had told every insecurity you had, the one you had opened your heart completely to.

That same witch who had lied to you, who had shattered your heart when she stole your magic, when she told you she actually just needed you to get closer to Wanda, when she had said hurtful things to you, the one who after having taken your magic tossed you to the side of the dark basement and left you there, weak and powerless.

You thought you finally had a family, you finally had someone who truly loved you, and it the end everything came down crashing everything down, so hard and fast that you didn’t even had time to cope with, everything felt so fresh, everything felt as if it had happened just last week! It was too much to process, too hard to understand.

“I can’t do this” You said to them without looking directly at them, you couldn’t do it, it was just a matter of minutes and you would be breaking down, sobbing, you wouldn’t dare to face Agatha, and look at her beautiful blue eyes, knowing very well she had made a fool out of you, so once again, you did what you had promised Agatha not to do again, you were about to isolate yourself, but did it actually matter? She had broken so many promises, so there wouldn’t actually be a big deal for anyone, right? it would not matter anyways.

You started to walk away right to where you have come from, with your eyes glued to the floor not daring to look at the two of them, because you felt ashamed, you could feel Agatha’s eyes on you but you didn’t care, your vision started to become blurry and not wanting them to see you, you quickly walked past them, almost brushing Agatha’s shoulder.

Agatha stood there, not daring to turn around and take a look at you, she felt awfully bad, she knew that you were in that state because of her, it was her fault, you were like that because of her, and her heart ached seeing you like that.

Unconsciously she took her hand to her chin, and even though she had wanted so bad to talk to you and explain everything, she didn’t find the courage to do it.

She knew she had to talk to you before she went onto the witches´ road, she did not want to go until she properly talked to you, she had to do it, at least she had to try, Agatha had to tell you everything, her actions were now feel remorseful, it had not come to her mind what had happened, what she had done to you on that last day in which she confronted the scarlet witch.

But, would you actually believe her if she told you that what she has said and done had been completely because she only wanted to protect you?

Of course, you were not going to believe, who would? She knew the type of fame that she proceeded her, the type of witch she was known for, years of doing the same to many witches, Agatha was aware of what type of witch she was, what she was known for for, but even if her pride always made her act in a different way, she truly did not thought she was going to actually love you, she had really fucked up, and now she did not know how to fix everything for you.

She did not know what to do for the first time in her whole life, during all the hundred years of living, she did not know how to proceed.

Maybe it was the best to just let you go, you could be in danger if she got close to you now, with the Salem seven after her, she could not risk that something could potentially happen to you, not now that she was powerless, and would not be able to protect you, now that she had no ways of actually protect you if something happened.

Would it be worth it to risk losing you again? She had already lost you! But she was conflicted, it was too dangerous.

“Agatha?” The teen called for her, he noticed the tension between you two, of course he knew what Agatha was capable of doing, but even though, the woman right now that was next to him did not seem to be the one he had been passing time with since he arrived looking for her, the woman right now seemed to be vulnerable, lost, a part of her that was so foreign to him, she was not like the woman she pretends to act all the time, a complete different person was in from of him, it was a part of the woman he never thought he could see, he did not even think she was capable of showing something more than just her usual careless self, the woman who treated everyone as if no one actually mattered.

“Should we go after her? Maybe she can come to the road and get her powers back-“before the teen could continue Agatha harshly turned her head to look at him in a dangerous way.

“The road is a death wish, too dangerous” The teen nodded hastily with his eyes wide open, why was she suddenly acting like that? She did not seem to actually care if someone join them to walk down the witches’ road.

“Do not mention the road near her, alright?” The way she looked at the boy made him remember who she was, the witch that so many other witches feared, the woman who would be capable of doing whatever it takes to achieve whatever she wants.

“We still have to look for our coven, we can’t lose any more time, come, pet” She ordered the boy, her usual self-coming back and she started to walk to the other side of the street, the boy looked back to where you had disappeared, he couldn’t help but feel a pang in his heart, the way you looked so lost.

He quickly turned back to look at Agatha who was already walking far away, that woman could really disappear, he started to jog in order to reach Agatha, when he got close to her, he sensed again Agatha’s mood, the older witch seemed to be in deep thought and the teen couldn’t help but wonder why the encounter with that girl seemed to affect Agatha that much.

Meanwhile Agatha still was conflicted, she felt the need to go back to you, beg you to forgive her, she missed being with you, the need she had was immense, she wanted to hold you, god, she had wanted to wipe your tears, why had she been rude when you asked about Wanda? She could have been softer with you, she could have at least tried to help you to calm down, instead she bad let you go, again, she had let you alone and Agatha couldn’t bare the guilt creeping inside her.

She did not know if she would see you again, but she did not want to risk you now, if something happened to you, Agatha would never forgive herself.

Being close to her right now was dangerous, without power, she would not be able to protect you.

For once in her life, she did not know what to do.

｡˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩

“Great, we got our coven Agatha!” The black-haired teen commented while the two of them were still inside his car, he parked the car in front of Agatha’s house, the feeling was exciting, he had never been part of one.

Agatha turned to look at him with one her eyebrows raised.

“My coven, you mean” She replied back at him while eyeing him, seriously why was this boy so excited about getting himself killed down the road.

“We have to prepare everything for their arrival Agatha” The older witch saw him getting his little notebook out of his pocket looking for something, not interested in what it was, she turned her head to the window to look at the house that was situated exactly at the end of the street.

She closed her eyes, her mind wandering back to you, her sweet girl.

Now she could remember perfectly the months she had shared her life next to you, at the start Agatha really thought she would not develop any type of feelings towards you, she would do what she always do, which was pretend to care about the people she came in contact with, and then she would just disappear, never seeing them again, usually Agatha would even forget their names, but with you, with you it had been so different.

She didn’t know if she had fallen for you after the first two months, or if it had been the very same first say you crossed paths.

The way your eyes would bright when you watched your favorite movie, the way you would try to hide your laugh when you were in a public space, she had told you that you didn’t need to do that, because your laugh was so beautiful that to her it sounded like music, she loved your smile so much that she really made an effort to make you laugh as much as possible, she loved whenever you used to tell her how much you loved her eyes, how your eyes would lighten up when she brought you flowers, your favorite ones.

You gave her the best months of her life; you made her feel alive! She had been living for centuries, and nothing had made her feel so alive than being with you, you made sure she was happy, you always made sure if she was feeling fine, always eager to please her and made her happy, and what had she done in return?

She had made you cried, she had broken your heart, the one thing she had promised you and herself, never to let you down, never to let you go, and she had already broken one of her promises twice, a few hours ago, she had let you go alone, she was not capable of going back to you and made sure you were alright.

She had fucked up so much, she needed to fix everything for you, you deserved it.

But would she be able to fix it? What if she messed everything up again?

“Let’s make a stop before” The older witch announced out of nowhere and opened the door of the car, the boy looked up from his notebook and proceeded to get out of the car as well, he did not know where was Agatha going, but decided not to question her, he quickly locked the doors and went after the older woman.

After some minutes of walking, Agatha found herself right in front of your door, she was nervous, she was feeling so many things that were completely foreign to her, she had never felt guilty nor hadn’t had the immense urgency to make sure someone was alright, or even try to fix something she had caused, but there she was, willing to bite her tongue and make sure you would at least listen to her.

The boy behind her saw the way Agatha swallowed several times, looking at the floor and then at the door, he saw how the older witch had risen her hand ready to know on your door and then stopped, she just left her hand on the air and stood like that for several seconds, after some minutes, she finally found the courage to know on your door, and the teen found funny the way Agatha quickly tried to fix the tie around her neck, and had brushed her shoulders as if cleaning the dust of it, it was the first time he saw her that nervous, he couldn’t help but to smirk.

Agatha cleared her throat a couple of times, and after several times of having knocked on your door, she became worried, you were not answering, were you alright? What if you had already seen through the window or the peephole? Should she knock on the door again? Have you heard the knockings? What if you hadn’t? Too many questions were passing through her head, but before Agatha could jump into a conclusion, you finally opened the door slowly.

You were not expecting Agatha to be the one who knocked at your door, so of course you were completely surprised to see her there, with an unreadable expression on her face, you had puffy eyes from crying, your nose was a little bit red due to constant friction of paper against your skin, you tried to wipe completely the tears from your face and quickly cleared your throat.

Agatha quickly composed herself, but looking at you so heartbroken, with your eyes red from crying and your messy hair, she found you to be incredibly beautiful but at the same time made her heart ache, she knew you were in this state because of her.

“I do not have anything else to offer you, if you are looking for some more magic, I don’t have anything, I have nothing for you to take, so I recommend you to leave” You wanted to sound harsh, rude even, but who were you trying to fool? You were destroyed, you had nothing, and still Agatha dared to show herself here in front of you.

The older witch noticed how your eyes started to fill with tears again, and instinctively she took a step forward, her hands quickly went to touch your face, she unconsciously did what she used to do during the time you two passed together all those months ago, she caressed with such a gentle touch your face, unconsciously you leant against her hands, her warm touch made your heart flutter.

But once again, you remembered what she had done.

You hastily took some steps back, missing instantly her warm touch, Agatha retreated her hands in her pockets and her eyes started to fill with tears, one tear fell from her left eye down to her chin, but she quickly wiped it off, not wanting you to see, she took a deep breath, and cleared her throat.

“I’m not here to take anything from you” Agatha replied to you, and you chuckled, of course, you had nothing else to offer her.

“Then what do you want?” You couldn’t stop yourself from sounding so desperate, crossing your arms on your chest, you finally looked at her in the eyes, you were able to see the tears that seemed to be about to fall from her eyes, and even if you were angry, the feeling of wanting to hug her was still there.

“I want to talk to you, about what happened” You had sworn you heard a slight shake in her voice, but as fast as you had noticed, it also disappeared.

You really did not have it in you to keep on fighting, you were never good to actually be able to stay angry at people, no matter what someone could do to you, you were never able to stay mad for so long, and with Agatha, with the woman who made you fall in love with her, who had sworn on her life that she would do anything to protect you, the same woman that later you discovered she had been lying the entire time, even after everything she had done to you, you did not find the hatred to be there in your heart.

Agatha was looking directly at you, she could see in your facial expression, in your eyes that a lot of thought were passing through your mind, you were always so easy to read, she loved that about you, that you were so transparent, that your expression gave away what you were feeling, but today, it seemed as if you were conflicted, in so much pain that in fact she had caused.

“Why? How are you still, acting so, so nonchalant? Do you always do that? Do you always pretend to care about people and then what? You stab them right in the back? Is it funny to you? Is it only about power, Agatha?” The older woman felt as if a wound had been opened again, she had caused this, it was all her fault, that you thought the same way about her as all the other people, she had made you think that she did not actually cared for you.

Now, how would she be able to show you that what had happened, had all been a mistake, she had not been waiting for you to receive all the collateral damage that her own actions had caused, how would she be able to make you trust in her again, she was not even sure if you still had feelings for her.

Of course, you still had feeling for her, it did not feel as if three years had happened.

Before she could speak and answer to you, you took a step forward to her, and her heat started to beat faster.

“Has it really been three years?” You shakily asked, Agatha nodded her head slowly, she could not even believe three years had already passed either.

You did not notice that the two of you were already in the hallway of the main entrance of your house, the teen had already closed the door and had been waiting and had observed the entire interaction between you two, he did not want to intrude, but at the same time he would have liked to help somehow, sadly he did not know what to do. He felt sorry for you, and deep down, he knew that Agatha was not the witch everyone said she was, he was sure there was more about her, that she actually showed.

“Yes, and I swear I don´t have to do with the fact that you were under the same spell, I-“ She cleared her throat before continuing, Agatha was trying too hard not to let the tears fall from her eyes.

“I am sure, that, because I absorbed your powers, at the time, somehow you ended up being linked to me, I am sure, that I made clear to Wanda, that you knew anything about my real intentions, about the plan I had-“ This time, Agatha couldn’t stop herself from letting some tears fall down her face, it was impossible, she did not want to hide herself anymore, but would you believe her?

“I made sure to tell her everything, that you truly did not know about me, that you did not have powers” She said the last part in a whisper, that if you hadn’t paid enough attention, you wouldn’t even had heard.

“I am really sorry, that, that you ended up trapped under the same spell, I am truly sorry for-“Before she could continue, she took a deep breath, her hands were shaking a little, and she looked into your eyes, never closing them as if she wanted to show you that she was telling nothing but the truth.

“I am sorry for everything” She would have liked to tell you that she was sorry for breaking your heart, for having lied to you but if she said out loud what she had done, she knew she would end up crying so hard and would not be able to stop herself, Agatha still had some pride left, and did not want you to see her that way.

If you were honest, you were shocked, you had never seen her this vulnerable, during your time in the Wanda´s hex, she had never cried, never had showed any type of guilty for anything, left alone say sorry to anyone, part of you wanted to believe her, a part of you wanted to completely believe her so that you could throw yourself at Agatha and tell her that you still loved her, but what if she was just lying, what if what she was saying was just part of another plan she had already created?

Before you could continue talking, the three of you heard a howling, it had been a strong one, you could have sworn that the howling had came from right outside one of the nearest windows in the living room, you saw the way Agatha´s eyes widened at how close to your house it had sounded, it scared her, she couldn´t bear the thought of something actually happening to you, she couldn´t risk losing you again.

“What was that?” You said while covering your ears, it had been such a strong sound that made you thought your eras were going to be damaged somehow, you did not understand why Agatha seemed to be scared, you had not seen that expression before, you were so amazed at how much you realized you actually did not know the older witch.

“You can´t stay here, not alone” The blue-eyed woman said to you, she unconsciously brought her hands to rest them on your own hands, she carefully uncovered your ears with your hands in her, and you let her, after placing your own hands to your sides, Agatha carefully caressed your hair with her left hand.

“You are not safe here, with me” Burrowing your eyes, you looked at her with a grimace, what did she mean you were not safe with her?

“I know, I know you do not know why, you do not know what is going on, and I am afraid that this is my fault, again” The way she was blaming herself with such hurt in her voice, it made you to only want to hug her.

“I am in fact the witch you say I am, I am callous, I do not care about anyone but me, I am the best at pretending, lying and betraying, and because of my actions, I have hurt people, people who did not deserve anything that I made them passed through, innocent people, like you, I have said and done awful things, some of them I did not mean them, some of them I did” When you heard the last phrase your breath hitched in your throat, and that did not pass unnoticed to Agatha.

“They are here for me, they want me, only me, and if I stay longer with you, if you stay with me, I would be risking your life” You chuckled bitterly, so it was a goodbye, she came looking for you only to say goodbye to you, you were not sure what was worse, her saying goodbye properly, or the fight in which she said horrible things to you, were those things lie as well, or did she actually mean what she said three years ago? What she had done to you were part of the things she didn´t mean to do? You heart really hoped that was the case.

“Where are you going then?” You asked her not daring to look at her, instead you decided to keep your gaze on the floor, feeling her hair still caressing your hair.

“I cannot tell, is not safe, too risky” You did not know where the sudden anger came from, but you took a step back and Agatha quickly retracted her hands towards herself.

“No, no Agatha, you do have the right, to just, come here, giving me only half explanations, saying you are sorry, only to say goodbye, only to come here and say to me that you are going to leave, I need to know at least Agatha, you do not have the right to break me, then come again to just break me more” The sobs that came from you shattered her heart, she did not want for this encounter to turn this way, but at the same time she did not want to risk losing you again.

Agatha looked up to the ceiling, debating whether to tell you the truth or not, she had already told you so many lies, and she did not want to risk her only chance, you had let her touch you, you had already let her got close to you one more time, so she decided not to fucked her only chance again.

“We are going to walk down the witches’ road” She said in a whisper.

“Do not lie to me Agatha” You said to her burrowing your eyebrows, that was a lie, everyone knew the witches´ road was a myth. Before Agatha could say something to you the boy was quick to intervene.

“She is not lying, we are going to the witches´ road, we are going to walk it, not only the two of us, it is real” He said to you with a hopeful look in his eyes, you were completely confused, you had thought that the road was only myth, you had never thought that could exist, at all, but if it did, was it true it gave the people who got at the end what they wished the most?

“Take me with you” You did not know where that had come from, but instead of looking at Agatha you had said that directly to the boy, he immediately raised his eyebrows, he wasn’t expecting you to said that to him.

“No” Agatha was quickly to say, her eyebrows borrowed fiercely, and placed herself in front of you.

“What do you mean with that? No? Are you the only one who can go? Isn´t it supposed that anyone who´s a witch and anyone who practices magic can enter the road?” You said to her in a challenging tone.

“It is too risky, the road is a death wish” You heard the serious tone in her voice, but why did it matter to her, she had not care about leaving you alone years ago, why was she suddenly so “concerned”.

“C´mon Agatha, now you sound so worried? You do not get to dictate what I can do, it is my decision, I am going with you, if it is true that what you are missing awaits for you then I want to walk it as well, I want my magic back, is the only thing left that was mine”

Agatha could not believe how you did not understand that going to the road was truly a death wish, many witched have tried to pass it, but many of them were not able to reach the end.

She felt so conflicted, she was unsure on what to do, the best for you was to stay at your house, or even leave the town, never hear of her ever again, if she came back from the road, she would look for you again, she would try to fix things with you, in the correct way, but if you went with them to the road, she was not sure she would be able to protect you, without power, she was not sure how would she even could try to look after you if something goes wrong, she knew what you said was true, but it was too dangerous, if something happened to you, she would always blame herself, for not being able to protect you.

“Fine, but you are going to follow the rules, you are not going to leave my side, the road is too dangerous it can be tricky, so, if you promise to stay near me all the time, you can come” Agatha said after some minutes.

You were not sure if it was actually a good idea, but did you really have something else to lose?

Agatha´s gaze lingered on you for a while, and she sighed, her features softened and turned herself to look at the boy.

“We have to start going” The older witch announced and opened the door, too many thoughts on her head, to many emotions.

The boy looked at you with a smile and lifted his hand in a motion to tell you to come closer, you did it and placed yourself at the entrance of your house, you could see Agatha had already started to walk towards what you remember was her house.

“Seems like we are going together to the road” He seemed to be excited, his face lit up, his expression full of enthusiasm.

“Yes” You shily smiled at him, he seemed to be a kind person, always trying to see the good side of things.

Closing the door behind the two of you, you started to walk down the street, ready to face whatever that could happen.

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“What do you mean I cannot be part of the coven?” You asked Agatha again, what did she mean you were not going to help open the door to the road?

“I already told you, we already have the members of coven” You did not want to fight, and if Agatha did not want you to be part of her coven then it was alright, you did not care.

Agatha was relieved you did not put up much of a fight, the only way of making sure you were going to be safe, was by not making you part of the coven, the road was cruel and harsh, so by separating you and making sure you did not have to do as much as possible with the coven that she had just created, even if that meant you would be angry at her, she would do it, your safety came first.

“Fine” You said to her and rolled your eyes.

“Go with the teen upstairs, when we open the door, I will come for you, alright?” She whispered to you, you could sense the intense gaze of the other witches looking at the two of you, Agatha wanted to take your hand into hers, but she stopped herself.

Agatha saw you climbing the stairs, and when she made sure you had closed the door behind you, she sighed, no one in the house was ready to face what was waiting for all of you at the road, she could only made sure to keep you safe no matter what, and she would do it, whatever it took to keep you safe, she was going to do it.

“What do you think would be at the end of the road?” The teen asked you when you entered the living room, he was sitting on one of the couches, with Mr. Scratchy on his lap, your bad temper suddenly changed when you noticed the rabbit was there.

“I do not know, isn´t that it changes for everyone?” You asked him and he nodded, he noticed you were looking at the rabbit.

“You want to hold him?” You nodded; he passed the bunny over to you, taking the little fur ball in your arms you started to scratch his head.

“Do you want to sit here? I can sit on the floor” He asked you with a smile on his face, and you giggled.

“No, it´s alright, don´t worry, you arrived first so you have to stay there, alright?” Instead you sat on the floor in front of him, never letting go of Mr. Scratchy.

“I missed you so much” You said talking to the bunny, the teen in front of you grinned, it was nice being with him, his expression reminded you of someone, to be more specific, the way he laughed reminded you of a certain twin that you used to pass time with, where were they?

“Are you alright?” He asked you with a worried expression on his face.

“Yeah, I just miss some friends” You replied, taking the bunny closer to you, you remembered when you passed time with the twins looking for this same bunny because he had got lost and they did not want for “Auntie Agnes” to get mad at them, the memory almost brought you to tears.

“I can be your friend” He smiled proudly of his idea, and you could not help but smile as well.

“That would be nice” You said to him, smiling back at him, you saw the way he took from his pocket the small little notebook he had in there.

“We can start by knowing what the other like, I will write everything down on my notebook, I write everything that is important down here, that is why I always make sure I have this with me” He said while starting to write something down in the little pages.

You nodded at him and started to share what you liked to do, the movies you liked to watch and the series you were fond of, your mind wandered back to a certain red-haired friend, the times you would have movie nights at her house, and the sitcoms she used to put on replay, once again you remembered how much you missed the people that had become your family

He shared with you how much he loved listening to music, the bands and singers he usually listened and it made you smile the way he seemed to be so excited about sharing his interests.

“When we get out of the road, I will show you my playlists, and we can have movie nights at my place, we can watch the movies you told me about, and also we can play board game while listening to some music” He sounded so excited, and he reminded you of when a little boy shows his new toys to everyone.

“I would love that” You said to him, matching his enthusiasm, the two of you kept on talking about interests and you found him to be really funny, you could see yourself getting attached to this friendship.

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You had separated yourself from her when you noticed what Agatha was about to do, unconsciously the blue-eyed woman had brought you closer to her and pulled you from your waist to place you behind her, ready to protect you and using her own body to shield you from the unknown entity rising from the ground.

“Surprise, my lady” Agatha took whatever the green witch had given to her, and before all of you could react properly, Agatha lifted her hand, ready to throw her fist at the woman, Alice and Jenn were quick enough to grab her to stop her from whatever she was about to do.

Agatha and the witch with the messy hair exchanged looks for a minute, but when the new member that had joined Agatha´s coven saw you, her expression changed, the smirk she held on her face suddenly changed, her gazed lingered on you for what appeared to be minutes, her intense gaze made you feel a little uncomfortable, and when Agatha noticed whom she was looking at, her expression got even angrier.

What happened next, happened so quickly that you did not have to register carefully, the only thing you felt was Agatha taking your arm to drag you towards her, forcing you to walk at her pace.

Alice, Jen and Lilia saw the way the new green witch was looking at you, and they saw how the witch with dirt all over herself followed with her eyes the way Agatha had gone with you beside her, they did not understand what was going on.

“Agatha wait!” You could hear the teen behind you, calling for the older witch.

“You´re hurting me Agatha” Her strong grip around your arm has starting to hurt, she abruptly stop in the middle of the road and when she looked at you, you could see that the anger had disappear from her features, she carefully loosened her grip around your arm and lifted it to examine it.

She lifted the sleeve of your jacked and carefully ran her fingers through your skin, looking carefully for something that you did not know.

“I´m sorry, I won´t do it again” You really could not help the way her actions made your heart beat faster, you could not deny it even if you wanted to, even if you were still hurt by her actions, you heart still belonged to her.

“It´s alright, don´t worry” You answered to her, and removed your arms from her touch, she still made you feel nervous, and for a second Agatha smirked, she noticed she had still that effect on you, so maybe, just maybe, that could mean you still had feelings for her.

“Listen, I need you to stay away from her” She said to you in a whisper, you blinked, not understanding what she meant.

Agatha turned her head to the right to see where the other witched were, and what saw again, made her blood boil, you turned your head as well to see what she was looking at, and when you noticed a big pair of brown eyes staring at you without even blinking, you quickly turned your head to look at Agatha´s shirt.

Even thought the constant and intense stare of the green witch made you feel scared, it also made you curious, so you quickly turned again your head to look at the woman from afar, she was not looking at you anymore, she seemed to be looking at her surroundings, exploring the road and what it was around it, you could swear you had seen her give little jumps while playing with something in her hand, unconsciously you smiled, it was strange that she looked so familiar, you could swear you have seen her before, the deadly stare she had, you felt as if you had seen it before, but you could not remember where, the smiled that had formed in your face of course did not pass unnoticed to the witch that was in front of you.

Agatha did not like the way the green witch had looked at you, she felt uneasy, and even though she would not say it aloud, she felt a pang of jealousy right now that you were looking at her with a smile, she wanted you to smile at her, and not at the woman who was touching the branches of the trees, her jaw clenched, she took your chin with her hand and made you look at her.

“I am being serious, you have to stay away from her” The way she said that to you, as if she was telling you to follow her order, it made you feel warm.

“Why? Who is she?” You were about to turn your head back to look at the green witch, but Agatha with a strong yet soft grip on your chin, did not let you do that.

“I used to work with her, I know her very well, she is not a good person, so just do as I say, alright?” Why was she so intensely telling you not to get near the new member, what was she not telling you? You had so many questions but decided not to ask, the way Agatha had talked to you and how her touch felt against your skin, made you forget of all your worries.

“Good girl” She said to you and that was what it took for you to finally give in, you couldn’t help it, all of the emotions, feelings you have tried to suppress, came back with a force you were not expecting, and without thinking properly, you hugged her.

Agatha was taken aback, she had not waited for you to hug her, it felt so good to have you so close, you passed your arms around her shoulders, and without losing any more time, she passed her arms around your waist, she pulled you impossibly closer to her, she had missed this so much, the way you pressed your head against her chest, it only made her want more of you, she started to caress your back, up and down, soothing you, Agatha then placed her chin on your head, oh, she had missed you so much, you had no idea.

Neither her nor you, dared to say something, not wanting to break the comfortable vibe that surrounded the two of you, Agatha just let herself enjoy the pleasant feeling of having you so close to her.

Without thinking too much, she pressed a soft kiss on your forehead, and you sighed content, you had really missed her, you had missed the way she only knew how to hold you, you felt so relaxed in her embrace.

The teen had had walked closer to you without making any sound, he did not want to interrupt the moment you two were having, he felt glad, Agatha had let herself enjoy a little bit, he could really se how the two of you were dying to at least get to hold each other´s hand, he could see the love you two had for the other, and he was really fond of you, the two of you were so different, Agatha was a complete extroverted woman, a spontaneous woman who was a great leader, she knew exactly what to say, and had a comeback for everything, she would often taunt other people, but what he had noticed was that with only a look from you, she would come back to her senses.

So, he wondered, if maybe there was a way in which you two could still be together.

Lilia came next to the boy, to stand next to him, she saw in awe the scene that was unfolding in front of her, Lilia could not help but smile, it had been the first time she had seen Agatha acting so carefree.

Alice, Jen and the green witch came walking finally, and the sound of the crunching leaves, made you come back to reality, you cleared your throat, and slowly separated from Agatha´s embrace, you wished you could stay with her like that forever, but still you had to continue walking down the road.

Agatha slowly separated herself from you as well, and looked at you in a way you had thought she would never look at you again.

“We have to keep walking” Agatha caressed your hair one last time, and she let you go, you turned your head to look at the teen behind you and motioned to him to come next to you, he smiled and nodded his head, placing himself next to you, you and him started to walk again in front of everyone, he could not stop looking at you with a smirk, you looked at him and furiously blushed, and he started to laugh.

Agatha saw you walking next to the teen, the smile never leaving her face, she felt complete, the sound of footsteps behind her became closer and closer, and she hastily turned herself around to see the other witches.

“What?” She said with a frown on her face, somehow it was weird for her to let other people see her like that.

“Nothing” was the word that the three witches said in a hurry, Alice lifted both of her hands showing she meant no threat, Lillia closed her mouth and tried hard not to laugh at how defensive Agatha sounded, while Jen went to the side of the road to look at one branch that suddenly had become so interesting.

“That´s what I thought” Agatha replied to them with a sight, and dramatically flipped her hair to start walking.

Some seconds later, she noticed someone getting dangerously close to her and she heard a laugh, she knew very well the owner of that laugh.

“She is really pretty” And that made her abruptly stop, Agatha hastily turned herself to face the woman.

“Wow, you don´t have to get so defensive about it sweetheart” Rio had a smirk on her face, she was taunting the older witch, the situation was funny to her, never in million years, she had thought that Agatha would become so smitten by someone else, someone so much younger than her.

“Do not get near her, are you listening? I do not want you near her” She threated the slightly taller woman, and what she received in exchanged was a laugh.

“You do not have to get jealous, you have my heart” Agatha rolled her eyes in annoyance and decided to walk again, Rio followed her.

“You got softer, is she really that sweet?” Rio taunted again, Agatha smiled again without noticing, you were really sweet, she had no met someone like you during all of her long life, you were so understanding, you had a huge heart.

“She is” Agatha replied.

“Would you let me meet her?” Rio asked again, this time there was no trace of malice nor sounding as if she was mocking her, this time she sounded serious and that made Agatha frown, why was she so insistent on getting to talk to you?

She had not noticed when they reached you and the teen, the two of you were looking at the house in the middle of the road.

“Here we go again” said the teen next to you.

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“Are you alright?” You went quickly to try and help the teen, bending over to see if he had more injuries, you were worried, you did not want him to die.

You felt Agatha pulling you aside to let the other witches carry him to take him out of the house.

You felt anxious, and after some minutes that seemed excruciatingly long, all of you finally left the house and you saw them placing your friend on the ground, there was so much blood and without thinking twice, you went to crouch down to shake the teen.

“y/n” Agatha tried calling your name, but you were clinging to the jacket of the teen on the ground, Jenn was trying to pour the potion on his stomach but you were too immersed in your suffering and memories.

You were not answering, too deep on your own thoughts that had not notice you needed to move to give him space, you tried to shake him again, to see if he would open his eyes, to make sure he would not fall asleep again, even if his eyes were already closed.

“C´mon, you cannot leave too! You can´t die! You told me we were going to be good friends, that when we would get to the end of the road and left this place you would show me your music collection, I was going to show you all of the movies I told you about, we were going to have movie nights, at your place, you were going to teach me all of the spells you have learnt, you can´t leave me too!” You had not realized your voice was getting louder.

“y/n you need to move, please” Agatha yelled desperately trying to get your attention, she was crying, crying because she was worried about the teen, she did not want him to die either, but seeing you in this state, clinging desperately to the boy laying on the ground, shaking his body, begging him not the leave too, it made her realize how much you were hurting, she wanted to hug you and tell you that everything would be fine, but in her shocked state she was starting to freeze as well.

Jenn was pouring with her shaking hands the water on the teen´s stomach, watching the scene in front of her with glossy eyes, Lillia was trying really hard not to cry, she did not want to startle you even more, so she maintained her distance, Alice was crying like you, checking if the teen had more wounds, Agatha was behind you, trying to take you away from there.

Rio, was the only one that actually understood why you were acting that way, why you were so desperate, the way you had lost so many people, the way your eyes always seemed to be empty, she had seen everything years ago during that accident you had had, but watching you revive everything one more time, really was breaking her heart.

“Sweetheart you have to move aside, please” She kneeled besides you and tried to wake you from your trance, but it did not seem to work.

In a quick movement, out of desperation Agatha grabbed you by your waist and with a strong grip around you she pulled you to the other side of the road, the two of you fell to the ground, making you yelp in pain, you quickly got up and were about to go back to the teen´s side, but Agatha grabbed you again by the waist, making you get closer to her, your back glued to her front, she had a strong grip around you, not wanting to let you go, you could hurt him or even get yourself hut in your state.

“Let me go Agatha” You cried in desperation, none of them realized that you would not able to bear losing someone else, not again.

“No, keep still” She said firmly, she tried to stay calm for the sake of everyone.

“No, Agatha you do not understand, he cannot die!” You cried fighting, trying to get free from Agatha´s grasp, which only made her tighten her grip around you.

“I do, I do understand, but you have to calm down!” She yelled, louder this time, she did not want you to also hurt yourself more, you already had some wounds on your face and in your hands due to the glass that had shattered, but you were moving too much.

Of course, Agatha understood very well how was it to lose people she loved so much, she had given up so much, she had lost people she loved deeply, she was not a foreigner to the feeling of losing someone.

“Oh please Agatha, you cannot fool anyone! You don’t care about anyone but you, you have never felt how is it to lose someone you really love, you have never lost anyone, you know why? Because you can only love yourself, you are the only one that matters to you, everything is about you all the time, only about power, the great Agatha Harkness suffering a loss? No, no Agatha you do not know how it actually feels to lose everyone, your friends, your life, people whom you have thought were family” You yelled back at her, you had stopped moving so hastily, not fighting her strong grip anymore, you couldn’t keep fighting, not anymore.

You had not even noticed, that the wound on the stomach´s teen had stopped bleeding, and he was peacefully sleeping, the other witches were watching you, with tears on their faces.

Rio who was in front of you, squeezed her eyes shut, you really did not know that Agatha was not a foreigner to loss, she understood what you were feeling, but she knew that what you had said, had hurt Agatha, it had hurt her deeply, Agatha was crying, she could no longer stopped the tears from falling down her face, the two of you were on the ground again, she had her arms around your waist, you were sobbing, and Agatha was sobbing as well, she had her face buried in your neck and when she heard what you said, she couldn’t stop but cry at your words.

She was hurt, deeply hurt, and she couldn’t bear for the others to look at her with pity, she loosened her grip around you, and left you there sitting alone in the middle of the road, with your hands covering your face, and sobbing hard, you could not stop crying, Agatha stood up, her hair covering her face and she left, she needed time to be alone.

Rio saw her walking to the other side of the road, and took a deep breath, she did not blame you, she was sure Agatha had not told you about her story, and by the way everything she had witnessed had unfolded since arriving, she knew you had not also shared with Agatha the story about your past, Agatha did not know about what you had passed through and you were not aware as well about Agatha´s past, she shook her head and went to kneel in front of you.

“Sweetheart, he is fine, he is not going to die, I can assure you that, look he is now just sleeping, the wound is gone” She whispered softly into your ear, she had seen you from afar since that tragic day, she knew she had to take you with her that day, she knew she should have done it, but when she saw that deep down, deep down that death wish you had always had, for the most part of your life, she saw a glimpse of hope, the was a glimpse of longing, she recognized it immediately, you wanted to live, deep down, you had wanted to live, you had had died that night, you were bleeding so much, the bodies of those around you whose souls she had already took with her, she had already claimed them, the people who you considered family, for the first time you had met people whom you could consider family, it did not matter that you were not blood related to them, they had told you that you were a family, and they all have left you.

It was partially her fault, she knew it, she was aware, Rio knew that by not taking you with her, you would suffer more being without all of the people you loved, but she saw something in you, she knew that death was a relief itself for the tortured people like you, for the ones who were lost, the ones that felt they did not have a place on earth like you, but seeing in you that spark of hope deep inside you, and so in the end, she did not take you with her, Rio knew she was being completely selfish, she had been aware that she was breaking the rules, and that there could be consequences, but she did not think of it at the time, she wanted you to be able to live, even if life had taken you there, she knew you had an immense pain, all your life, seeing friends come and go, never staying in your life for too long, yearning and longing to belong somewhere, completely lost, an outcast, that was what you considered yourself as, not understanding your magic, always suppressing your powers, because your family had left you since you were a child, always fearing you, making you feel like a monster, always looking for a family, or get something as close to a family, never finding one.

But she wanted you to keep on living, she remembered perfectly the way you were crying, half of your face covered in blood, Rio got closer to you, and she stared at you, looking directly into your eyes, and she saw you were looking at her, she was sure you were not completely conscious, but the way you looked into her eyes as well, made her feel warm, she gently brought her hand to your face, and cleaned the blood off your face, she knew she was going to encounter you later on life, but she did not how, Rio did not want to leave your side, she wanted to make sure the paramedics arrived before letting you go, so with one of her hands she took your hand, and never let it go.

She stayed with you for over 20 minutes, watching you carefully, you had tears streaming down your face, from time to time, more tears would come out of your eyes, and she carefully wiped them off your face, she caressed your face with her fingers, making sure not to hurt you more that what you were already hurt, and when the sirens of the ambulances and the patrols were getting closer, she took one last look at you, with such a loving touch, she wiped the last tear falling from your eye, Rio then bent her head down to leave a sweet kiss on your forehead.

Rio knew that was not a goodbye, so she just placed your hand on your chest, and disappeared into the darkness with the wind and between the night.

She remembered fondly that memory, she had not given you the gift of death, but she had given you another chance, seeing you now so close, right in front of her, Rio knew she would not let anything happen to you, Rio was aware of the fact that you were enduring an immense pain, because of Agatha´s reckless actions you had got hurt one more time, but the green witch knew how deep Agatha´s love was for you, so if you let her as well as Agatha, she was sure the two of you would stop feeling the pain you had been enduring for so long.

She brought her hands to uncover your face, you had already calmed down a little, not sobbing as hard as before, you felt her soft touch against your skin, and it made you instantly feel peace, it had not been something you had felt since so many years ago, you had not felt something as calming and as soothing since that day you had lost everyone.

Rio noticed the way you looked up at her, and she carefully intertwined her hand with yours, it was a sensation you had felt once, so long ago, when you felt cold, the blood soaking your body, but even in the middle of all that tragedy, you somehow felt warm, you felt at peace, and feeling her touch, made you remember that day you had felt scared, you looked into her brown eyes, and that was when you remembered those eyes, you quickly threw yourself at her, passing your arms around her shoulders, the older witch smiled fondly, and finally, after years of only watching you from afar, reviving the moment she had seen you so many times, finally you were there, in front of her hugging her, she was feeling you again, after so many years, you were there finally, she understood why Agatha was so in love with you, because deep down, she knew she had been affected by the same feeling when she first saw you, in the end, she had broken the rules for you.

Rio slowly put her hands on your waist, caressing you so softly as if you were made of glass, she enjoyed the feeling, your warmth felt amazingly nice against her own body, she let herself enjoy the moment before speaking again in your ear.

“I promise you, he is going to live, he is not going to die, and you and Agatha are going to be alright, do you trust in me?” You realized she was not lying, you have already met her, in the middle of the tragedy, she had been there for you, you had not been alone, you had thought you had only dreamt of a beautiful woman with brown eyes and an intense stare that made you feel warm, you nodded against her neck and she instinctively hugged you tighter.

“You´re real, I did not dream of you that night, you were there” She nodded against your neck, and her right hand caressed your back up and down, even though you still had so many questions, such as who was she, how had she been there that night, why did she look the same? Even with so many questions running inside your mind, you felt safe.

You felt Rio separating herself from you, she carefully brought her hand to brush some of the strands of hair you had on your face.

“All of the betrayal you have passed through, the abandonment of everyone you have loved, every friend you have lost, Agatha does not know any of that, she is not even aware of half the things you have passed through, all the times you have left yourself trust in someone or whenever you finally feel someone is going to stay in your life, there is something that always happens, I know it, because I have seen it” Her brown eyes pierced your soul, Rio´s eyes were looking straight into your eyes.

“I have known Agatha far longer than you had, and trust me, she has passed through so many losses, she has lost so many people she loved, her reckless acts are just proof of how much she had passed through, you have no idea how much you two have in common, you only do not know that, because you had not told each other any of those things that had caused so much pain in you, Agatha is not really good when it comes to feelings, but trust me when I tell, I had never seen her put so much effort into actually doing the right thing, she loves you, deeply, you have no idea how much she really cares for you, and I know that what she did, she did it thinking she was protecting you, please don´t push her away anymore, you have the right to feel hurt, but trust me, if the two of you get to talk properly, you are going to understand everything, and I am going to be there, for the two of you, alright?” She said looking at you with a loving gaze.

“I know you have a lot of questions inside that little head of yours, and I will make sure to answer to each one of them, but I have to go see Agatha first, we will have a conversation, the three of us, but first I have to go with her and you have to stay here, with that boy, to make sure he wakes up, it is going to do some god to you when you see him open his eyes again, so you stay there with him, when he wakes up, you can come look for us, alright?” The way she was speaking to you, reminded you so much of when Agatha consoled you after you had had a nightmare, her voice was as soothing as Agatha´s.

You nodded and Rio smiled at you, she helped you to stand up, and gave you one more hug, she pressed you against her one more time and pressed a kiss on your lips, it had only been a peck, a soft kiss that left a tingling sensation that lingered on your lips for a while, you started to feel your face getting warmer, she smiled at you and squeezed you hand one final time, before finally leaving your side, you went to place yourself next to the teen, your friend, and you were relieved to know he was going to be alright.

When you got next to him, and sat next to where he was laying, Alice came to sit next to your right, she smiled at you, it was a reassuring smile, she could not help but to feel protective towards you, she was happy you had calmed down, she put her hand on your shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze, as if she was telling you that everything would be alright, after a couple of minutes Lilia came to sit next to your left, she gave you a hug and said to you that everything was going to be alright, you hugged her back, and when separated herself from you, she gave you a huge smile as well, then Jennifer arrived and placed herself next to you, with a little cup that seemed to be made of leaves, she stretched her hand out to you so that you would take it, you instantly did it, and she gave it a squeeze, then she proceeded to put in your hand the little cup with what it seemed to have water on it.

“I did it, it is going to help you relax, do not worry, we all got your back” Their actions touched your heart, and for once in a long time, you felt tears of joy, everything seemed to get better.

｡˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩

You did not know how much time it had passed, but you noticed the teen waking up from his slumber, you quickly went to his side to look at him, when he saw you, he smiled, and you smiled as well.

“You are alive! You are still here” You said to him excited, he nodded and proceeded to sit on the floor, after you made sure he was stable enough, you hugged him, you hugged him because you were happy, he was alive, because he was alright, because your friend was still there.

He hugged you back and he smiled, he had heard what you had said about him, not wanting to leave.

“I am not going to leave anytime soon, we still have to watch movies together, play board games and listen to my playlist, I am going to stick here for a long time” He said to you with a soft gaze on you.

“We are friends, we still have too many things to do!” You nodded excitedly, and before you could continue to talk with him, the other witches, which now you understood were your friends as well, all sat around you and the teen, they were happy he was fine, and you could not feel happier to be with them.

“C´mon, you can leave him with us, we are going to take good care of him, you still have something else to do” Lilia said to you, she was holding your hand, it made you remember Wanda, and her motherly touches, you gave her hand a squeeze and stood up, ready to meet Rio and Agatha.

You were nervous, you did not know what the talk was going to be, but with everything Rio had told you, and with the guilt you were feeling for saying hurtful things to Agatha without knowing, you really needed to say you were sorry to her, you did not want to lose any more time.

When you finally visualized them they were sitting on a big tree-trunk that was on the middle of the floor, the scene filled your heart with so much love, there Agatha was sitting next to Rio, their shoulders were touching and Rio seemed to be talking to Agatha, the blue-eyed woman was looking at the leaves on the floor, when they heard the sound of footsteps stepping on the crunching leaves, they lifted their heads to see you, Rio looked at you with the same warmth she had been looking at you, her features had softened and on her face a smiled appeared, Agatha could not take her eyes away from you, she was looking at you with an unreadable expression, you decided to walk closer to them and when you were just centimeters away from them, Agatha quickly stood up from her seat, and engulfed you in tight embrace, her grip became stronger, she had passed her arms around your waist, pulling you closer to her, you rested your head on the crook of her neck, your hands resting on her chest.

Agatha did not want to let you go, never, she wanted to be with you, she wanted to have you close to her, you noticed the way Agatha was caressing your hair, her soft touch comforted you.

“I am sorry Agatha, I am sorry for all of the things I said to you, I should have judged you without knowing, I hope you can forgive me” You said in a whisper, loud enough for her to hear, and she started to cry, you looked up at her worried, and she only gave you a beautiful smile.

“It´s alright doll, you do not have to be sorry for anything, you did nothing wrong, I understand completely your pain, I have to be the one that should have said sorry, I am so ashamed of what I did, you have to believe me when I say to you how sorry I am, I should have never let you alone, I should have never took your powers, I thought that if I took them from you, Wanda would not be mad at you, and she would not sense the magic coming from you, and I stupidly thought that if she sensed you did not have any type of magic, she would not come after you, how stupid I was that I got you under the same spell I was in because of my actions” Agatha was sobbing, she was caressing your back, wanting to touch you as much as possible, afraid that she would lose you again.

“It´s alright Aggie, now I understand, I know that you love me, as much as I love you, I don´t hold grudges against you, I am happy now that you said you love me, I am not angry anymore” You said while looking straight into her baby blue eyes, she could not wait any more time, so she leant in to capture your lips, it was a soft kiss, a pure one, she wanted to show you how much she loved you, that she loved you with her whole heart, she smiled on your lips, the two of you were crying, but nothing compared to the sensation of feeling her lips against you.

After the kiss was finished, she brought her hands towards your face, and started to brush the hair on your face, just as how Rio had done it before, you instantly looked at Rio who had already stood up from her seat and was behind the two of you, she was smiling, her characteristic smirk on her face.

“She always makes everything a competition” Rio said and Agatha started to laugh, it was a sincere laugh, you looked at Rio confused and she got closer, she stretched her hand out to you so that you would take it, and you did it.

“I told her I had kissed you” And Rio winked at you, you blushed furiously and left the two of them drag you to the tree-trunk they had been sitting before, Rio was holding the hand you had given to her, and Agatha did not let go of your other hand, holding it tightly, the two of them sat you in the tree-trunk, you were in the middle, Rio decided to sit next to your left and Agatha sat next to your right, both of their hands never letting go of yours.

“We are going to be fine” Said Agatha before placing a soft kiss to your hand, the one she was holding, making you blush even more.

“We are going to be fine” Repeated Rio and she decided to place a kiss on your forehead, you smiled at them, feeling happy.

You still did not know what the road still had left for you, you were not sure, what you would have to endure, but with Agatha and Rio taking care of you, making sure you would be fine, you knew nothing else mattered, also, with the help of your new friends as well, Lilia, Alice and Jenn, you knew all of you would be able to pass the next trials, and with the help of the one that you were sure could become your best friend, the teen who always saw the good side of everything, you were sure, all of you would get to the end.

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em1989ts · 3 months ago

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𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆 𝒑𝒕. 3

five hargreeves x reader

word count: 2.4k

part one. part two. part three.

summary: you head back to the academy with your timeline's five in order to save the world, in hopes that once this is all over, you can run back to max's delicatessan.

author's note: i tried to post this on oct 1st for five's birthday but i'm an hour late lol. but that's it for across the universe! thank you to everyone who left a comment or reblogged i appreciate it so much :) please let me know some more fic ideas in the comments or in my inbox

You heard the bell reverberate as the door shut firmly behind you, yet it was still welcoming as you looked back through the deli windows as all the Fives waved you farewell.

The Five that was still technically your husband held a harsh grip around your wrist as he pulled you away from the warm lighting of the deli and back into the cool chill of the time-traveling subway station.

Once the two of you reached the top of the stairs onto the platform, you dug your nails and bitterly as possible into the veiny flesh of his hand.

He grabbed your other hand to separate your sharp manicure from him. You snatched your hands back and took a step away from him with a sneer.

He looked down at you as if you were an animal cowering in defense. He sighed with a heavy chest, weighed with guilt, as he said, “Look, I don’t want to upset you anymore than I already have. Can we save the world and then discuss this?”

As you glared at him, a subway train pulled into the station, whirring loudly as its strong gust blew your hair past your face. It screeched horrendously as it halted, the door alighting with your stances.

You simply nodded with a furrowed brow as you walked past, hitting him with your shoulder, and boarding the subway car.

As you sat down with folded arms and a firm stare at the floor, you ignored him as he sat directly across from you, holding his face in his hands.

He took the time to memorize your face, this time in the privacy of the train car rather than watching a more deserving Five hold you close.

He wanted to save the world for you. So you could be happy. Yet there was a lingering part of him that wished the world would cease to exist, knowing there was no chance you’d be happy with him ever again.

You felt his gaze on you burning your cheeks. It felt like ages since he had looked at you with such care.

You had always known how much he loved you. Even though public displays of affection were quite rare he had always made you feel seen and heard. You were life partners. You did everything together, you shared everything with the other. You thought you were so lucky to find such a soulmate, believing the two of you being the only people in the world left alive was such a test of fate that there wasn’t a doubt in the universe your names were written in the stars.

You were so sure. So confident and secure.

Yet, you were also sure he would’ve never considered breaking your heart the way he did today. He would’ve never considered Lila of all people.

Your head throbbed from the confusion and the flickering lights from above. You were so tired from dealing with the Cleanse, Reginald, Jean and Gene. You wondered if you’d ever catch a break.

You thought you already had. Six years of domestic bliss which included sharing an apartment with your lover and frequent date nights. You thought you finally got the rest you both deserved after years of endless struggle for survival.

You let out a breath you didn’t realize was trapped in your lungs as you sat up straight and met his stare.

He didn’t say a word so you decided to speak the only one that was on your mind.

“Why?”

His jaw tensed as he tried to find the words. He had been trying to justify himself to you in his head ever since the moment he kissed Lila in that greenhouse, yet now it was hard for him to come up with an explanation.

After a moment, he spoke, “I didn’t think we’d make it back.”

Your eyes narrowed, “You were gone for 7 years Five. You mean to tell me you just gave up?”

“I,” he cut himself off, not wanting to admit his first instinct of a response.

“You what?” you pressured.

“I wanted to stay.”

He looked down at the grimy floor which contrasted with the shine of his dress shoes. You felt as if barbed wire was slowly being pulled around your throat as you held back tears. He didn’t seriously just admit that to your face. He couldn’t have. The Five you grew old with would never have done this to you. After visiting the deli, you knew those Five’s had given up on their timelines, but their reason was that they lost you. They lost their spark that ignited their call to action. They lost their love, the one person who kept them strong enough to endure hell just to save the world for.

You were speechless.

Luckily the train slowly came to a screeching stop at your timeline. An unintelligible announcement was made in the overhead speakers as you rushed to stand up and make your way out the train.

Your Five didn’t immediately follow you. He hung his head and sat for a few seconds before slipping through the closing doors.

You quickly made your way through the dimly lit station as Five jogged to catch up with you. He took your arm and blinked you up both to the academy in a flash of pink light.

He let go of your arm as you took a pause to calm your dizziness. You had gotten used to his old blink fairly quickly but this new power messed with your head which already suffered an ache.

The group quickly acknowledged your presence as the two of you walked into the living room where they were all consulting with each other. Lila’s family and Claire were huddled closeby.

Five immediately greets Lila as she whispers his name in return. You side-eye them with a scoff, hoping to get this done as soon as possible so you never have to see them again.

With his hands on his hips, Luther says, “Why’d you two come back? Things are pretty bleak here.”

“Trust me, we weren’t planning on it,” Five explains.

You step in, “Fortunately, we had a very informative conversation with an alternate version of him which led us to form a plan that could stop all of this.”

You began explaining everything to them. You told them that the marigold inside each of you was what caused the destruction of the timeline and how the timelines were bleeding into each other which provided evidence for those like Jean and Gene to believe in the Umbrella effect. You explained that if Viktor could remove the marigold from you all and combine it with the durango inside the Cleanse, the timeline would go back to its original, unbroken state.

Viktor interrupted your explanation, “That would work, but I’m not entirely sure I have enough power to do that.”

“I can help,” Lila stepped in, “I’ll copy your power.”

“What happens if they can’t get the marigolds out of us?” Klaus questioned.

“We will have to merge with the Cleanse with the marigold still inside us,” Five paused before continuing, “which will make us cease to exist.”

Klaus didn’t exactly like this answer as he responded, “Old Klaus might have been down for some recreational hara-kiri, but it turns out that I’m really not into killing myself.”

Five explained that if Viktor didn’t remove our marigold and you all had to merge with the Cleanse then none of you would have ever existed, erasing you all from history and the memories of your loved ones.

They group went silent, tearing up at the thought of that fate.

“Okay,” Viktor said firmly, not wanting to think about that outcome, “Let’s do this before the Cleanse finds us.”

Him and Lila met in the center of the room, chests and eyes glowing as they brought forth their powers. The rest of you met around them, preparing yourself for the extraction.

A glow of orange and blue lights illuminated the room as they began to swirl around all of you, whirring by your ears as they surrounded your body. You could feel the power rushing through you, feeling similarly to doing a cannonball in a hot tub: an initial burn from the impact but soothing more and more as you relax. Your eyes were squeezed tight as you felt a pressure lift from your chest. Before you know it, the wind has stopped and the lights that shined past your eyelids had left, returning your sight to eigengrau.

You opened your eyes to find your marigolds huddled together, swirling in a warm glow which resembled fireflies on a summer night.

“What do we do now?” Luther let out.

Five put his hands in his pockets as he responded, “We wait.”

Everyone avoided contact with the marigolds as they left the living room. Allison returned to Claire and Lila made her way to her family who engulfed her in a loving hug.

You watched them have their moments. You were glad Lila had such a loving family after living under the Handler’s manipulation for so long, yet you wondered how it would be now that Five had homewrecked her relationship with Diego. How would this situation affect their kids? Would they see their mom any differently?

You didn’t realize someone was watching you as you contemplated your inner monologue until your shoulders were turned and a pair of arms were wrapped around you. You refocused your eyes as you looked up to see Diego, understanding he must feel the same pain, wondering what would become of the family he’s made over the last six years. You brought your arms up to return his hug as your squeezed your eyes shut as a dam to not allow any tears to pass through.

A crumbling noise grew louder and louder as you two broke apart. An orange hue penetrated through the makeshift curtains as Klaus went up to the window to peel them back, allowing you all to see the Cleanse was destructively making its way towards the marigolds.

Five’s face hardened as he watched the monster grow nearer. He turned to Lila and held her arms, instructing her to take her family and Claire into the subway until the Cleanse took the marigolds to ensure their safety. She looked into his eyes and nodded before breaking away to round everyone up and mimic his power, blinking them away.

The rest of you took cover as the Cleanse broke through the windows and entered the academy. You watched as it reached out and collected the bundle of marigolds, letting out a fearsome screech and glowing brighter. The light became so intense it was all you could see until you blacked out.

You awoke on the floor of the academy, your face sticking to the shining tiles. As you sat up, you noticed everything was pristine, unlike the abandoned academy you were just occupying. Sunlight shone through the windows as you looked around, noticing all the others adjusting to the light and new surroundings. You all looked around, thankfully seeing no sign of the Cleanse. No destruction. No glow.

As you all stood up, Five rounded you together as he blinked everyone into the subway.

Allison immediately ran over to Claire, crying happily as she held her daughter. Lila and her children ran over to Diego, tackling him with a loving hug. You saw Five in the corner of your eye, looking on at the scene with a stone face yet with hurt in his eyes.

As the family regrouped, you remembered what the offer that waited for you back at the deli. You remembered the Five who was waiting for you to save the world so he could see you once again. You ran between Klaus and Luther as you made your way towards a train that was waiting to take you back to Max’s Delicatessen. You never looked back as you boarded and sat down. Surely you’d see them again, but you didn’t want to watch your Five look like a lost puppy following Lila any longer.

You wanted to find a certain Five that reminded you of your husband before he got stuck in the subway. A Five who had his eye on your and only you. Luckily, you had already found one.

You didn’t even wait for the train to fully come to a stop as you jumped up from your seat and anxiously waited in front of the door for it to open. Once it did you bolted through the station to the stairwell that led to the deli. As you ascended, you didn’t see the warm, welcoming glow.

You stopped in front of the deli, dropping your shoulders as you lost all hope.

The space where the deli once occupied was gone. In its place was a wall of tile. You finally let the tears you had been holding all day stream down your face as you realized your mistake.

Saving the world meant saving the original timeline, the timeline where the only Five Hargreeves that exists is the one that broke your heart.

☕︎

bonus ending cause i can:

You dropped to your knees as the weight of everything that’s happened crashed upon you, and the fear of not knowing what to do next ate up rational.

A whoosh was heard from behind you, echoing off the tile surrounding you. The last thing you wanted at this moment was the comfort of your Five. You didn’t want him anywhere near you, yet you wanted him to see how miserable his stupid delusions and actions made you. As you turned your face to look at him with a teary face, you saw Five standing there, making no move toward you.

You wanted to berate him until you looked closer, there was something different about him.

You couldn’t point it out until he smiled slightly and said, “You saved the world.”

A look of shock painted your face until your tears flooded back, this time of utter happiness as you ran into his chest, his arms enveloping you, his chin on your head. You didn’t question how this could even be possible, what this meant for the timeline, you got just what you wanted.

☕︎

author's note: oh my god i cannot believe i wrote this in one day i'm so exhausted and haven't had time to proof read this yet but i really really hope you enjoy! my inbox is open please let me know any requests for future stories!

taglist: @madscamp02@buttermilkpetals@leitor-sonolento@ren-ren23@alavit@tofueater78 @buzzbuzzlilbee @clownwritesfanfic @beanzwritez @pholuvre

#five hargreeves #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves imagine #five hargreeves x reader #number five #tua fandom #tua five #brisket five #brisket five x reader #five hargreaves x reader

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galactic-magick · 4 months ago

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Be Proud: Viktor x Plus Size!Reader

Summary: Viktor's newfound fame as the co-founder of Hextech has taken its toll on your insecurities.

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: mentions and allusions to body dysmorphia/eating disorders

Author's Note: I starting writing this to play with the idea of how founding Hextech probably gave Jayce and Viktor celebrity status in a way and how that would affect them and people involved with them. It ended up turning into a vent fic about my body image issues as well, to the point I almost didn’t post because it got so personal. But I figured there’s people out there who relate and might find solace in reading this as I did writing it.

You’re so proud of him. Everything he’s accomplished, everyone he’s helped. He’s living his dream, creating the future, and he’s being listened to and valued by topsiders. This is all you’ve ever wanted for him, and you would never think of standing in his way.

Which is precisely why you’ve never told him how insecure it all makes you feel.

Before Viktor got involved with Hextech, life was so much more predictable. You both could live your days together in peace, never being in the spotlight and rarely interacting with the highest of powers in Piltover. Life was hard, sure, but nothing you couldn’t manage without some tasteful spite and stubbornness. Viktor always knew his background would be a stumbling block for him up here, and you really weren’t much farther ahead, being from a title-less family with half your relatives from the Undercity.

But you’re not used to being around such glamour and poise. As Viktor becomes more involved with the Council and the wealthier areas of Piltover, making Hextech gadgets per their requests and being invited to fancy events, you’re left mourning simpler times. You’ll never get used to people coming up to you on the street while you bring your husband some lunch, or people staring at you during conferences when you’re just there to support him. Everyday citizens want to know and analyze everything about you, simply because you’re married to Piltover’s finest scientist.

You don’t like to bother Viktor with how it’s affected you, especially since he’s so good at handling it all. He’s always been so proud of who he is—where he came from—because he’s had to be. He’s not phased by the new fame as the co-founder of Hextech, and he easily shrugs off any comments people make about his past or his looks. To him, celebrity status is just a slight annoyance that occasionally distracts him from doing his work in the labs. But for you, it’s brought back every insecurity you’ve ever had about yourself.

You’ve stopped joining him as much at dinners and banquets because you fear they’ll judge how you look in a dress. You’ve stopped chiming in to interviews so you don’t say something stupid and embarrass him. You’ve stopped visiting him so much while he’s working so people won’t talk to or see you on the street.

You’ve started picking yourself apart in the mirror again, fussing every morning until you might cry. You compare yourself to the beautiful specimens that surround you, perfect in face, body, and manners. You start wondering if people judge how you speak or how much you eat. You wonder if people gossip about your family origins or your marriage. You wonder if you really, really, tried—if you could look like them. If you could be like them.

Viktor has started to stay back from some events with you lately, claiming Jayce is better at being the face of Hextech anyway. But tonight marks the five year anniversary of the company, and Councilor Medarda insisted there be a grand celebration.

The feast and dance will be held in her personal mansion, with the rest of the council and all the investors invited, as well as several reporters and journalists. Jayce will give an update address on what they’ve been working on, and what they hope to achieve by the bicentennial Progress Day.

This is something you can’t get out of and you know it. You drive yourself crazy trying on every dress in your closet, hoping to find something suitable for the affair. Half of them don’t even fit, which sends you into a further spiral, and the ones that do still don’t look good enough in your reflection.

Now the floor is covered in failed attempts at getting dressed, negative thoughts taking over your mind. Thoughts you know aren’t true, but you can’t stop thinking them.

He’ll be embarrassed to be seen with me.

I’m not good enough to be here.

I should eat less.

If I tried harder I could look like her.

I should check how much I weigh again. What happened to that damn scale?

They only invited me because they have to.

They probably talk about me—

You’re so deep in your head that you jump when you see Viktor leaning against the door frame, eyes full of love and concern.

“Are you alright, darling?”

You look down at yourself, wearing the last dress you had in your closet. It fits perfectly, but that’s part of the problem.

Viktor moves towards you as tears well in your eyes. He wipes them away with his thumbs, smearing some of the makeup you put on earlier.

“Talk to me,” he says.

“No.” you reply, avoiding his gaze.

“No?” he chuckles. “Why not?”

“It’s so stupid,” you sigh. “I thought I recovered from this. I should be able to handle this.”

“Handle what?”

“All this publicity shit!” you finally look at him. “I hate being watched and talked about and judged for what I say and look like all the time. I hate being asked about personal things and nearly passing out because I’m scared to eat in front of people. I hate all these superficial gatherings that are probably just for show-”

“You’re alright, you’re alright,” he cuts you off, dropping his crutch to the floor and wrapping his arms around you. “Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been feeling this way? Why didn’t you tell me it was getting bad again?”

You sniffle, “I...I didn’t want to bother you with something that doesn’t seem to bother you. You’re so good at being confident no matter what people say about you.”

“You think it doesn’t bother me?” he questions. “You think it doesn’t hurt me every time I overhear insults about me or my home, let alone when they say it to my face? You think I don’t notice that most of these people wouldn’t blink an eye if I died if it wasn’t for what I can offer them?”

He squeezes you tighter before slightly pulling away to look at your face, “I’m just better at hiding what it does to me, darling. Having a drive to prove myself is not the same as confidence. Now,” he kisses your forehead, “Tell me why you’ve been in here for over an hour and still aren’t ready, hm?”

“Well,” you gesture to the piles on the floor. “Those ones don’t fit. I must’ve gained more weight but I don’t really know for sure because I can’t find the scale. And those ones I just don’t like. And this one does fit, but it’s tight and I’ve never worn something form-fitted to an event before. I don’t want to deal with comments about my stomach sticking out or my arms looking puffy or whether I’m proportioned to their tastes.”

“You truly believe they’ll say those things?”

“I don’t know what they’ll say. That’s what’s so scary.”

The tears return, falling slowly down your cheeks.

“Darling,” Viktor says softly. “No one will ever think or say anything as horrible as what you think and say about yourself. I promise you that.”

You nod, allowing him to soothe you, “I know.”

“I need you to tell me when these thoughts are getting bad. Do you understand? I never want you to go so long feeling this way ever again,” he tilts your chin. “Do you understand?”

“I understand.”

“Good. Now, if you really don’t want to go, I’ll make up an excuse to get us out of it. But…” he slides his hands down your curves, “...it would be quite a shame if I didn’t get to see you wearing this all night.”

“You actually think it looks good?”

“Of course,” his eyes travel down your figure. “You always look perfect to me.”

“But-”

“No buts. Listen to me,” he faces you towards the mirror. “This body has gotten you through so much. I want you to be proud. Most of these people have never known a day of true hardship, but not you. You’re strong and you’re soft and you’re beautiful, and you’re the only one I’ll ever desire.”

You smile, knowing he means every word. You try to see what he sees, remembering every time he’s showered you with praise. You know he’s never once agreed with any of the horrible things you think about yourself. You know he loves everything about you, including how your body compliments his smaller, angular one. He’s never made you feel bad about anything, so why is it still so hard to believe him?

“Thank you, Viktor,” you say, turning to kiss his cheek. “I’ll try to be proud.”

“Good,” he nods. “Now, no more worrying about the scale or falling into old habits, alright? I want you to enjoy yourself tonight.”

“Fine, fine, I’ll try,” you laugh a bit. “You know what happened to it, though, don’t you?”

“Of course. I threw it out months ago,” he smirks. “You think I didn’t notice you checking it every single day?”

“You’re too good to me,” you bend down to pick his crutch up off the floor and hand it to him. “Let me just fix my makeup and we can go.”

“No more crying it off, alright?” he chuckles.

Jayce and Mel are waiting for you, welcoming you both to the celebrations. You can already feel the eyes and cameras on you, but you hold your head high, squeezing Viktor’s hand extra tight.

It’s been awhile since you’ve attended an event, but they always seem to go the same. Investors and council members come up to chat, mostly directing their questions towards Jayce. Sometimes they act as if Viktor isn’t even there, which boils your blood to the point you’ve said something on multiple occasions. Viktor has told you many times that he doesn’t mind being behind the scenes, and that Jayce is better at talking anyway, but you can never fully let it go. If people are going to gossip about him and your lives but not actually talk to him, you’ll gladly take the liberty of giving people a piece of your mind. You’d rather focus on lifting him up than dwell on your own self-consciousness, anyway.

One thing is different this time though—being that Viktor is a lot more handsy tonight than usual. He’s not normally one for public displays of affection, sticking to hand-holding and a few reassuring touches here and there. But tonight he can’t keep his hands off you.

It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, whether it be listening to the conversations, answering questions, or participating in the feast and drinks. He always has a hand on your waist or your thigh, gliding to your hips and stomach every so often. It seems mindless, as if he does this every time you’re out together, but you know he’s putting in a special effort to make you feel good.

And damn is it working.

You feel more at peace than you ever have since entering the public eye, proud of who you are and who you’re with. Who cares if people are whispering about their opinions on the Zaunite inventor? Who cares if there’s pictures of you in tomorrow’s tabloids with unflattering angles? Maybe all that matters is you’re having fun with your husband, and he’s making you feel oh so beautiful.

The night goes on for hours, attendees fizzling out until there’s only a handful left. You convince Viktor to dance with you before you leave, leaning against you and swaying simply. You wrap your arms around his neck, wiggling your fingers into his hair. He looks at you with such admiration, such devotion.

How could you ever doubt yourself under the gaze of those eyes?

“You lovebugs ready to head out?” Jayce approaches you both. “Viktor and I have a meeting with Heimerdinger in the morning.”

“Ah, yes, we do,” he briefly looks away from you. “But...perhaps we could push it until the afternoon?”

Jayce rolls his eyes and chuckles, “Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you guys are in for a long night. Have fun.”

He waves and walks away, and you burst out laughing.

“Is it really that obvious?” Viktor jokes, returning his full attention to you.

“Viktor, darling, you’ve been all over me since we got here. I’d say the entire city knows how bad you want me tonight.”

“Maybe I want them to know,” he grins, sliding a hand up your dress and squeezing your thigh.

“Viktor!” you gasp, playfully slapping his hand away.

“Alright, I suppose we can go home first,” he pivots around, moving towards the door and extending his arm to you, “Shall we?”

You nod, quickly returning to his side.

Jayce was right, it’s going to be a long, lovely night.

#viktor arcane x reader #arcane viktor x reader #arcane x reader #viktor arcane #arcane viktor #fem reader #plus size reader

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wonustars · 8 months ago

Text

𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖶𝖺𝗒 𝗈𝖿 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖧𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝖧𝗎𝗌𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽 (Teaser)

𖥔 pairing: kim mingyu x reader 𖥔 wordcount: ~15k+ (this teaser: 599) 𖥔 genre: fake marriage au!, fluff, angst, smut (18+ mdni)

𖥔 reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated ♡! tumblr is based on reblogs not likes, and they help writers like me to get better reach. thank you!

𖥔 summary: you and mingyu (a former mafia member and also your ex-fiancè's former best friend) are forced into witness protection. All you’ve been told is that you’re meant to act like a happily married couple. Pushed into a cookie cutter house, and a suburban neighbourhood far from the city, where people bring you baked goods on your first day and partake in small talk, it’s all foreign and new. There’s so many things you don’t know about him, but for a man who’s only known violence and all things illegal, he’s somehow the perfect house husband.

𖥔 tags: fake relationship/marriage!au, non-idol!au, mafia!au, afab!reader, norbert is readers cat (more tags when the fic is posted) 𖥔 release date: may 14 or 15, 2024 𖥔 author's note: if i end up posting after the predicted dates plz do not crucify me 🙏 ik a lot of people have been waiting for this one so i'd thought i post a teaser since i have 2-3 chapters left till its finally finished. thank you to all of those who sent in their ideas and to those who've shown so much interest in this story :") i really hope it lives up to your expectations!! see u soonest - anna ♡ !!!!

𖥔 keep reading

The first few days at the new house were uneventful and awkward to say the least.

Mingyu spent the majority of his time doing random housework, he thought that if he had to live here for a year, then he should at least try and make it as “homely" as possible.

Many of the women in the neighbourhood had deemed Mingyu as their new eye-candy. Despite the fact that he wore his pink shibu inu apron while tending to the garden at the front of the house. They would especially make sure to take multiple laps around the block during their group walks, drooling over his toned muscles as he began to plant an array of flowers on the lawn.

Mingyu isn’t very observant when it comes to people finding him attractive, believe it or not. He automatically assumes that the wives of Bridgewater just wanted to get to know the new couple that just moved in.

“What a beautiful garden you have!” one of the wives called out from the sidewalk, her eyes glinting with appeal.

“Thank you, It’s not done just yet, but I think we’re finally getting somewhere,” Mingyu smiles bashfully.

“Of course dear. You know if you’re ever free you should come and take a look at my garden,” another lady giggles, her innuendo flying right over Mingyu’s head.

The group of fourty plus year old women all giggle like school girls as they watch his face turn red with flattery. Mingyu scratches the back of his head awkwardly as they bid him good-bye, curious as to what they group of women thought was so funny about him taking a look at their gardens. It’s all just a bunch of flowers isn’t it?

The sound of your car’s engine brings Mingyu out of his thoughts, his gardening tools forgotten by the piles of dirt he left. You lug Nortbert’s carrier as you walk into the house, acknowledging his presence with a small nod. His pink aprons raises a few questions in your head, but you decide not to comment on it.

“Oh hey you’re back, is he ok?” Mingyu asks, motioning to the carrier you hold in your hand.

Halting your steps, your eyes widen as you realize that he’s talking to you, there wasn’t much conversation between the two of you since you’ve moved in. so you found it a little surprising that he’s asking about Norbert, the cat who tends to show lots of aggression towards him.

“Morning. He’s ok, I just took him for his check up at the vet,” you shrug before entering the house.

You leave the conversation there. There wasn’t much else to say anyways, and you had a lot of work to get to before the end of the day. If Mingyu feels a little bit ignored by your actions, he doesn’t make it noticeable, going back to working on his garden.

From across the yard, neither you of Mingyu notice Seungkwan’s looming figure as he and Vernon enjoy the Friday morning sun. He watches the two of you from his porch with a quirked eyebrow. They’re awfully awkward for newly weds, he thinks to himself.

“Nonie, don’t you think they’re a little weird?” Seungkwan nudges his boyfriend, who’s mumbling to himself while Vernon reads his book.

Vernon quirks up, moving his headphones a little to hear what his boyfriend has to say, “huh? Sorry I was reading, what’d you say?”

“Nothing, go back to your book love,” Seungkwan mumbles, his eyes still darting back and forth from your descending figure and Mingyu, his suspicions spiking once more.

#kim mingyu #mingyu #svthub #mingyu x reader #mingyu smut #seventeen fic #seventeen smut #svt fic #svt smut #svt x reader #seventeen #seventeen fanfic #mingyu fluff

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daenysx · 6 months ago

Note

“just imagine having aemond as your boss. i would cry at every corner”

i need a ceo aemond fic immediately please love love love ur writing x

i think this could have an angsty theme but you know i'm not really capable of writing something like that :( i just used it as an opportunity to write about having a secret relationship with your boss modern!aemond who's nice only to you <3333

i hope you like it, your opinions matter a lot, i'll be waiting for your comments on this!!

modern!aemond targaryen x fem!reader, nsfw. -wc; 2.4k

blurred boundaries

mr. targaryen has a pretty face. you can't look at him for more than 5 seconds.

he has this piercing gaze that makes you wanna curl up in your bed and scream into the pillow, the smirks he sometimes rewards you with have the same effect. you look at the bathroom mirror. you need some lip gloss.

the office is crowded today. physically it can't be too crowded because mr. targaryen hates when people stay more than they're needed. somehow everything got together today, too many calls have been made. your boss is getting more tense each minute, you can feel that much. he looks at people like they are only useless liabilities.

you try fix your hair, using two minutes of bathroom break. applying a fresh layer of your lip gloss to feel better, adjusting your skirt to stay straight on your waist. you leave the bathroom.

mr. targaryen calls for you. it's the fifth time today and it's not even noon. you step into his room. he's fuming like a restless dragon in front of the giant windows of his office.

"mr. targaryen?" you approach him slowly.

he lifts his head to see you. you're not sure what he wants, who he wants to be this time. are you supposed to say something more? the boundaries get blurry.

"come here." he says with a low voice. his left hand is extended to you. "come."

you've always admired his voice ever since you started working for him. he has a way of controlling it so well, when he wants to be sweet or when he wants to claim his authority. he never shouts unless he's over the edge, he can make people listen what he says without raising his voice. it's more attractive than it's supposed to be.

you take a few steps to close the distance.

"don't get shy on me now." he says, taking your hand. "no one will see."

"i just-" you don't know what to say. "you look upset."

aemond puts your hand on his chest to keep you there. the scent of his cologne surrounds you, you breathe him in. he holds his hand on yours, his free hand reaches for your waist.

"i can't stand people's idiocity." he tells you, his neck bent like a dragon searching for a bond. "i don't want to see any more of them."

"you don't have to." you say, coming closer to him boldly. "you're the boss."

he gives you a smile and that's the end of it. it's his fault, he started it. you're definitely not responsible for-

"you can't kiss me here." he reminds you. he's insufferable.

you take a step back. if he doesn't want a kiss that's fine. you're not the one who's restless and unable to calm down because of some customers.

"you should let me go then." you say. "i have things to do."

"is that so?" he devilishly smirks. "i thought you said i'm the boss."

"so what?"

"so the boss wants you to stay here." he answers. "and you will stay here."

"mr. targaryen-"

"don't get upset with me, sweetheart." he says. "we're in the office."

you huff quietly. he's messing with your head, he always does that. he makes a move and when you give him an answer he says you can't. you wanna scream, you wanna punch him. you wanna kiss him.

"fine." you say. "anything i can do for you then, sir?"

aemond squeezes your fingers. you know it's a weakness, calling him sir or by his last name. you know it makes him lightheaded, his breath hitched. you want him to suffer in a way just like he makes you suffer.

"you want to play with me, is that it?"

"i have no intention to do anything." you say. "you know, this conversation could go so well if you could let me give you one kiss. you're calling me here, get me so close to you, and when i want to kiss, you-"

aemond pulls you to himself to shut you up. his lips move against yours, curving so sweetly. you suck his bottom lip, close your eyes with your hand on his waist. the distance between you disappears, aemond parts his lips to deepen the kiss. you let out a shaky breath.

"no-" you say when he separates his lips from yours. "please."

he kisses you again, cupping the back of your head to angle your face. it's a nice kiss. you like his kisses in the middle of the day, a beneficial motivation to keep working.

"good?" he asks, cheekily. "i kiss you and you go back to being my good girl, is that it?"

"you can't say that when we're working."

"are we working right now?"

"fine." you huff. "when we're in your office."

"you look so pretty in that skirt." he says suddenly. "and um- i ruined your lips."

you cover your lips. you forgot you applied lip gloss, and aemond takes pride in making a mess as he always does. he kisses your cheek, taking your hand off your mouth.

"can i see you tonight?" he asks. "after this dreadful day ends?"

you nod. "if i can finish on time." you say, thinking all the mails you need to answer. "you know, you're not the only person i'm responsible to."

"do you hear what you're saying?" he says, kissing the soft skin below your ear. "you can't get mad at me for calling you my good girl when that's exactly what you are."

"aemond-"

a knock on his door interrupts your words. aemond leaves you, his thumb quickly fixing the lip gloss stain on your cheek. you step back as he kisses your knuckles for one last time. "after everyone leaves. meet me here."

he calls out for the person outside, you leave the room with confident steps. no one can know anything. you need to go to the bathroom again to fix your appearance.

during the day you can hear aemond's stern voice, your table is close to his door. you try to pay attention to work as much as you can, it's hard sometimes having him so close but not being able to be next to him all day. you still need to focus, though, you can't not keep your job just to have him.

it's not really an affair, what you have with aemond. you aren't sure if you can call him your boyfriend now, it's been more than a month since he first made a move. you're his lover, that much is clear. he wants to see you in his apartment, spend his free minutes with you in his office. he tries so hard to keep his hands to himself to stay secret for your reputations. you're not so different.

the hours pass by. your co-workers start leaving their spots. aemond is still in his room, he didn't come out, not even for lunch. you know he's even more tense than he was when you were in his room. you wait patiently until the last person leaves the office.

you knock on his door, his voice comes out exhausted. "can i lock the door?" you ask. he nods. just in case no matter what time it is.

you approach him, he turns his chair to get you to his lap. you settle down on his thighs gently, he pulls you to lean on his chest. "you had so much to do today, hmm?" he asks. it's his soft tone, the one he uses when he's sick of his company and his job, when he only wants to take care of you. "you look tired."

"you should see yourself." you say. his chest moves with a quiet laugh.

he rubs a big hand on your back. "are you hungry?" he asks. you shake your head.

"you should be hungry. you didn't have anything for lunch." you say.

"i'm hungry." he whispers against your lips. "i've been starved all day."

"aemond-"

"the day exhausted me, sweetheart. my head's pounding with their stupid voices, all complaining, all talking out of their asses. i don't have the energy to play games with you now."

you feel a gentle rush of wave on your chest. he has a lot of responsibilities, needs a get away from them. you're the same in a way. running your fingers through his long hair, you watch him closing his eye. his lips part when your fingertips rub his scalp.

giving him a small kiss first, you angle his head the way you need. he kisses you back, hands on your waist to keep you steady. his fingers play with your skirt, your hands get lost in his hair to keep him pressed against you.

just when he moves to kiss your neck, you breathe in his name. no one would believe aemond targaryen to be a gentle man in bed, you think. people are terrified of him most of the time, he looks dangerous and intimidating. he wants to be feared and respected, he's both. he's also a nice man when he wants to be, with you.

"maybe we should leave." you say, his lips on the curve of your neck. "your apartment- oh!"

his teeth make a mark on your skin, you are pulled against him without meaning to. he kisses the mark, lips soothing the ache.

"we can leave." he says. "after i make you come on that couch."

"aemond-" you start protesting but he takes you in his arms, leaving his chair to get you on the couch in his office.

"i need it." he says, sternly. "you're not gonna keep your voice down, you hear me? i'll hear everything i do to you."

you nod. he parts your thighs to settle down between them.

"words." he demands.

"i won't keep quiet." you say, laying down properly.

"good." aemond says. he kisses your knee.

pulling your panties aside, not bothering to take them off, he takes in the sight of your cunt. you try to take calm breaths but it's hard when he's looking at you like a starved man. you adjust your hips to get his hands on you.

"already getting wet for me." he whispers.

"you- you neglected me." you say, voice shaking. "for the past week."

"i suppose i did." he says, putting his fingers on your cunt. "i guess i should apologise properly."

he kisses your inner thigh before moving his fingers slowly to open your cunt for him. he teases your entrance, a thumb on your poor clit. he starts giving you a few gentle rubs on the nub, you moan his name when he presses a bit harder. "mm-hmm." you hum, satisfied. "please."

he puts a finger inside slowly, trying to increase your wetness. you move against him, clenching once around his long finger. "what's that?" he asks, his cock getting hard against his suit pants. "not enough for you?"

you clench involuntarily again, his thumb presses insistently. "no." he says. "i guess not."

another finger inside, you get wetter each second. he numbs your brain, your mind shutting off slowly. he moves his fingers in you with a perfect pace, searching, searching.

you make a louder noise when he hits it. he's the devil.

"there it is." he says, lips curled in satisfaction. "i know you like the back of my hand."

"you should-" you start, thoughts linger in your mind. "you should do something then."

"i think," he says, stops moving his hand. "you have forgotten your manners. you should be nice if you want something."

"aemond." you whisper, your eyes are closed. your breathing quickens, you are so close. "please. please. i need you back."

he puts his hand where it belongs but he's slower this time. "don't rush." he says. "we have time."

"i just-" you're so close to your tears, or your orgasm. you have no control over your body. "please."

aemond is throughly satisfied. he keeps his pace quick and hard on you, fucking his fingers into you with a rough thumb on your clit. you move against him deliciously, he rubs his desperate cock on your thigh. he gets faster, hitting your sweet spots all at once. it's hard to believe he was only your boss weeks ago.

you hold onto his free wrist as you come. you're whining, pressing yourself to him, nails digging into his skin. his name falls from your lips, he watches the liquid coating his fingers with a fascinated expression.

he's still hard against your leg but he doesn't care about it. not when you're almost passing out on him, not when you look so soft. he's taking pride in giving you what you want, what you need. you sigh in content.

aemond pulls your hair back to see your face. you give him a smile. "can i-" you reach for his hardness. he stops your hand halfway.

"not here, sweetheart." he says. "we can leave when you feel better. i'm gonna take care of you at home, okay?"

you hum, try to get your strength back on your bones. you stretch like a cat, a bit sleepy under his gaze. you manage to sit, even give him a kiss on his neck. he's free of his tie, a few buttons of his shirt are open. a faint lip gloss stain remains on his skin after your kiss.

"we can leave." you say. "let me get my things."

he nods, standing up to get his car keys and his phone. you unlock the door to go get your stuff, your legs are still shaking. the wetness is uncomfortable just a bit but you think you'll be okay until you get to aemond's apartment.

he comes to your side. "i'm ready." you say to him. he nods.

you don't know what he's waiting for. he looks like he's unsure of something. "something wrong?" you ask.

"no, no." he says quickly, shaking his head. "i was just- thinking of holding your hand."

you laugh, giving him the most precious smile he got from someone. you never know when but sometimes he acts so sweetly, you wanna keep him in your bed forever. he's so different from the man he is during the day.

"i'm glad you find it funny." he snorts. "come on."

"i'm not mocking you." you say. "it's just- you know no one would believe me if i say aemond targaryen is shy when he's asking to hold my hand."

"thank god, i'm not trying to convince anyone with my affections towards you then." he says with that charming tone. fuck him, he knows what he's doing. "can i please hold your hand now?"

"of course." you say, giving him your hand. he doesn't let go until he gets you in his car.

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bloodcasket · 1 year ago

Text

“ EASY, BABY ”⋆ ﾟ☾

PAIRING: DI!Jill Valentine x Fem!Reader

WARNINGS: Pure NSFW (descriptive smut), Age gap centered!! (Death Island! Jill), Female described reader, Dom!Jill, Sub!reader, mentions of alcohol consumption, reader described as more inexperienced than Jill (nothing too specified), innocence kink, fingering, finger sucking, tribbing, panty play, dirty talk, jill just loves to praise, teasing on Jill’s behalf, a lil bit of manhandling. LIGHTLY PROOF-READ!

WORD COUNT: 7.4K+

DESCRIPTION: The whole department and crew is out for celebration at a restaurant. As Jill sits amongst the table, she spots the new girl, young and timid, giving shy glimpses from across the table.

AUTHORS NOTE: SUPERR rusty after lack of writing for a couple of months now, really hoping this satisfies because Jilly bean doesn’t get enough fics written about her. Let me know if there’s any mistakes, please and thank you! (I’m so normal for her, i promise). Took me too long to finish, and i got lazy toward the end.

The last thing you wanted was to deal with any of the men sitting around you, feeling forced to pry out fake enjoyment and formulate fraudulent smiles at any of their cheesy comments.

They were all grown and lax, after all, middle-aged and experienced, their worries about leaving bad impressions left long ago after years of regulating bioterrorism. They just simply didnt care, and tonight was meant to be jubilant, after all. It was a way to congratulate the team for arriving back home in one piece. Clank glasses of iced bourbon and smile after the weeks of prolonged misery and uncertainty.

It had only been a few minutes that you sat, waiting at this table, the celebratory event making you feel like the black sheep.

A timid, young stranger, her shoulders hunched in discontent, and her expression nonchalant as she sat alongside the chairs of older individuals, ones who laughed and cheered, shook hands and grinned with their cheeks shaded crimson, wrinkles creasing around the shape of their eyes.

It was people who worked drastically to make the trip to Alcatraz bearable, and handled more experience within this field. Something you felt you lacked. Something you saw yourself unequal to, off putting. In other words, even undeserving.

Employment under “The Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance” was nearing a few months now for you, but your line of work strayed far from any defensive units, due to your familiarity with the information management department. You organized required files and handled technological tasks under supervisors order, you weren’t genuinely handling firearms and terminating undead like the others were within the BSAA. You were simple, and did your part, participation with higher-ups was foreign.

The invitation to come here was optional, of course, but your ripe desire to see a certain woman was hard to swallow. After several days of trying to deny yourself this opportunity, the denial became fruitless, and you finally succumbed; which leads you to sitting at this lengthy dining room table, shuffling in discomfort and trying best to bite back any resurfacing regret.

It’s a restaurant, aromas conjoining in the air, certain scents collecting that it perplexes you. The whisks of alcohol burn through your nostril hairs—your lip twitches in discontent, jaw soon slacking as fragrances of broth and caramelized delicacies fog around you. You scrunch your face and twist your cute nose, huffing in the perfumes of delight.

It was all so overwhelming, and yet you had barely done anything yet sit and spend a few minutes skimming the menu—fiddling with your hands on the table when you yearned for a distraction. And yet; another server hurries past your seat, wide platters in hand, a trail of aromatics left in his wake. Drool draws upon your impatient tongue, you wondered how much longer it would take.

“Jill, didn’t think you’d make it”, a male voice chimes, you're able to single it out amongst the banter of the public place, trying best to listen as other residents at the table mumble out tipsy-tainted sentences, snortling and getting themselves comfortable as they slosh down fancy cocktails.

The timid position in which you kept yourself in the moment you sat down at this table seems to have been disoriented, a stiffness residing down the arch of your neck as you lift your head and adjust your eyes to your surroundings.

Dimly lit, and silken curtains are drawn over windows for the evening, you blink a few times to observe across the table, eyes stretching past messy cutlery, and halfway bubbling glasses. You blink again, throat moving slowly as you swallow dryly.

Under tinted yellow light, she sits. She’s shaking her head, exaggerating a huff of exhaustion as she edges her seat closer to the table. Brunette hair is silken and syrupy brown, a few strands askew from where she let the hair descend down her face and tickle the middle of her neck, the vision filling you with exhilaration.

‘Jill Valentine’, you suddenly think, watching as she’s easing herself more comfortably into the seat, shaded heels of her boots sliding forward as she pushes her legs apart, elbows jutting against the hickory surface that you oh-so-admired for several minutes straight. She’s hunched over improperly, wrapped up in a gray woolen cardigan, not caring much for table manners. A heat brewed low in the pit of your stomach.

“Had to finish my report, it was a pain in the ass”, her adjacent partner seems to love this reaction—being that he chuckles shortly afterward, “would prefer if you took it off my shoulders next time”.

“Your responsibility”, he replies nonchalantly, Chris Redfield from what you remember, a known operator within the BSAA. He was respected largely by his peers, a man with his time spent sacrificing and protecting, all for the benefit of “greater good”. You couldn’t say much about him, you couldn’t say much about anyone to be quite frank, except for one person. His partner in crime.

Needless to say, you scrounged through your closet for hours one night to pull out piles of clothes in desperate search to find something presentable for this woman. Bouncing your eyes back and forth over different varieties of garments, torturing yourself over the delusional manifestation that you’ll attract Jill Valentine tonight.

Intimidating. Most would plaster that description over her if it was all for first impressions. A 41 year old military woman who can carry her guns just as wonderfully as she can carry her foul language. She’s blunt, and by no means patient due to certain circumstances, but with the small moments she’s managed to pass alongside you, the tiny things don’t go unnoticed.

Coincidentally, you bump into her in the lobby; she’d chuckle jovially, waving one hand toward you dismissively as you ramble out apologetic gibberish. Reassuringly telling you “it’s not a problem, don’t worry about it”.

You’re heading toward a file room? She’ll catch you in the halls, velvet lips upturned into a gentle grin as she greets you with your name slipping off her tongue, blue eyes narrowed down at you in an observant manner. She remembers the little details, remembers you.

To say it was innocent appreciation was incorrect. It was an attraction, and the more your female superior managed to cross paths with you, the more you felt the warmth in your stomach churn and twist. It embarrassed you, to say the least. Jill Valentine was probably an individual with her priorities straight, and here you were, grinding your thighs together as you squirm uncomfortably in your seat, front teeth gnawing on the swell flesh of your bottom lip. You looked ridiculous, you were ridiculous. Ogling an older woman as if she were some high school crush. Where were your priorities?

Heaps of chestnut hair suddenly color your vision, blocking your delicate view as a head leans forward to inch closer to the woman you admire, “Here Jill, saved your drink until you got here”, her voice is flowery and feminine, a tinge of nasal sweetness at the end of her chirping sentences. “Glad to see you”. You almost envy her in this moment.

“Thanks, Claire”, a pale palm wraps around the transparent glass, pearls of condensation glistening on Jill’s lengthy fingertips, her nails clumsily trimmed, and beaten hands calloused from her work. You feel your breath hitch at the sight, cotton mouthed as you watch.

Tonight was going to be long. Too long, if this was all you were going to think about.

Claire retreats to her original position in the chair, her conversation with the brunette ephemeral as she focuses her attention on another, leaving Jill solemn in her thoughts, curtly nodding to every general word Chris might possibly say. She’s taciturn, and trained on the voice of her adjacent companion.

Without the veil of ember strands shrouding over the woman’s face, you melted in your seat, lethargic and ditzy as you bored your beady eyes into the vision that was just blissfully her.

One sip, then another. Her lips curl around the lip of the glass, swallowing measured amounts of golden whiskey that smell like smoke and peaty.

“We should all get together and go on vacation after all this, think we deserve that much”, Chris suggests this as he wedges his fork into the collops of filet spread along his plate, in which the other hums, her eyes flickering from the pit of her glass and then forward, peering across the table.

Rings of cerulean catch your nosiness, and you feel the organ within your rib cage falter, and then within seconds accelerate, heart racing like a jack rabbit inside your chest. She caught you staring.

She keeps the contact for a few seconds; you’re the one who widens your eyes and cowers into yourself, suddenly pretending that the entree platter of pillowy bread rolls is of much more interest.

You think you’ve gone crazy, due to the slanted, open mouthed smirk she summons on her face, mumbling a few words in reply to the male beside her (which you don’t catch due to how much blood is rushing to your face, head swarmed with internal comments of how utterly humiliated you feel). Nevertheless, the intrigue she displays is clearly prevalent, more so in the way your young face ducked to hide yourself other than the subtle conversation Chris clearly tried to create.

Just as you had foreseen, the night was indeed long and mundane, and your quick glances at the nonchalant beauty sitting opposite of you was practically dangerous, due to how cautious she seemed of her surroundings and every object that crossed her. A habit she carried in her occupation, you supposed. She was by no means incognizant. (It would be a lie if you didn’t at least give one glimpse, though. Maybe two…maybe three).

You can’t recall if it had been an hour or more, but the facade of enjoyment seemed to lose its potency, and perhaps for others as well.

Little by little, the crew took their leave, furred winter coats slung over the slope of their shoulders as they waved and headed out for the night, giving you some trivial excuse to join alongside them. With the bill paid generously in reward for everyone, the crowd migrated out through the exit doors and into the parking lot, the wisps of frosty air breezing past in copious amounts.

You trembled, nails dipped into the lower fabric of your mini dress, trying best to ease it further down your thighs as you cursed yourself for wearing such attire.

‘All that work just to stare at her like a fucking idiot’, and now here you were, with gritted teeth and trembling flesh as you shuffled down the sidewalk in shame, purse hung over your shoulder whilst you made your way home. That is, until the crackling of gravel wound up behind you, tires rolling over cement and bright beams flashing over you as if you were a deer in the headlights. An unfamiliar car slowly approaches beside you, and you stumble in your heels as you halt.

“You waitin’ on someone or something?”, the subdued hum of the engine had synthesized with the husky chuckle that was rightfully Jill’s, “don’t tell me you were actually gonna walk home in that? No jacket?”

An arm is laid firm across the surface of her car door, her head peering out through the window as she leans forward, her expression is practically incredulous. As if she was disappointed in your choice-making, and your lack of self-awareness for the weather and time of night. She thrums her fingers across the door impatiently, other hand gripping her steering wheel as she expects an answer.

“I was just-“, and here’s the flaring heat of humiliation rising once more. Your lips are molded into a solemn line, her glare of ridicule made you feel guilty for not asking for her aid in the first place. “I’m not too far from here- I wouldn’t want to be a bother”. You’re lying through your teeth, and the brunette scoffs as if she already knows.

“Fucking hell, you were actually going to do it? You’re too young to be doing stuff like that”, she jests in a low manner, muttering more so to herself than to you. Her arm slithers back inside the vehicle, head motioning to the empty passenger seat with a quick nod. “Like hell I’m letting you walk home, it’s not safe. I’ll give you a ride. Get in”.

The authority of her tone makes your knees wobbly, and the way she sits back in her seat with her neck craned against the headrest commands urgency. She’s waiting. You feel a lump harden in your throat. She’s waiting for you.

You hasten your little steps, sheepishly opening the car door and sliding inside, whispering with pruned lips how thankful you are for the ride. You’re stiff in the seat next to her, hands folded in the center of your lap; they were numbed from the cold, goosebumps embroidered along your delicate flesh.

“Don’t mention it”, she brushes off the innocent gratitude with a witty shake of her head, vehicle rolling through the asphalt, leaving the parking lot with just a planate flick of the wrist, elongated fingers dipping into the rubberized padding of the steering wheel. You watch from your peripheral, nostrils flaring as you shakily inhale, splashes of soap and freshly cleaned laundry breeze over you, and you relish in it, stomach all filled with butterflies over something as simple as the older woman’s scent.

“Where to, then?”, she inquires with a throaty hum, vision focused on the road ahead of her. She sighs in frustration when you tell her, though she grins in utter amusement, laughing when you deluge her with stuttering apologies over a mere lie.

“Christ. Thought you said you were close?”. She makes a turn, dirt crackling under the wheels as she pulls onto another street.

“I know, I’m sorry”, you mumble in shame, hands folding tighter and tighter until your knuckles jut against your skin, your face all flushed. Lower lining of the dress you wore was hiked up your thighs, you felt so exposed and scrutinized alongside her, in her car.

“It’s alright, don’t take me too seriously. New girl, right? I remember. Explains why you’re always so quiet”, Jill continues with the conversation, glimpsing over just for a second to study you before she’s focused again. “You enjoy the place? They had some nice drinks, don’t you think? It wasn’t all too bad”, you frown at her words, a heaviness nested in your chest. You hadn’t really done much tonight at the celebration. Nothing other than ogle at her, eat some bread rolls, and then ogle at her some more.

“I didn’t drink anything really, unfortunately”, admitting this was rather awkward, due to how much desire you held to impress her. Now you just felt inadequate, lackluster. “Too many people I didn’t know, if that makes any sense. I must sound boring, don’t I?”.

“Not even one drink?”, she questions, lips curved up into an open-mouthed grimace as she flutters her eyelashes in teasing surprise. “Free to get whatever you want, and you’re telling me you were too shy to even drink anything?”, and she sneers when you nod, biting down laughter in hopes she could keep you comfortable in her presence. Smile lines deepen around the shape of her mouth, silky lips blessed with a tint of coral, apples of her cheeks glowing with every beguilement grin.

“It doesn’t hurt to celebrate, you know. You work hard, I’ve noticed”, she pauses, considering her next words carefully, not wanting to tread any risky lines, “I’m not that far from my apartment anyway, want to have a drink or two? Think I’ve got some lying around, wouldn’t hurt to get em’ used up”.

Green light hanging up ahead switches rapidly from yellow to red, crimson hue painted over the dashboard and along the height of your body. You’ve sunken a little in the passenger seat, all wide-eyed and panicked when she offers. You open your mouth to answer, but she cuts you off before you could turn the opportunity down.

“Just the two of us, okay? I don’t bite, I promise”, and you swear you’re melting, too convinced. You nod in response, a simple “sure” is all you can hiccup.

‘Maybe all that time ripping apart my wardrobe was worth it?’

Maybe so, because Jill fucking Valentine is moving her lengthy index finger to the left of her steering wheel, flicking on her turn signal without a single ounce of hesitation, and then making a u-turn that can only promise one thing.

The ride to her apartment.

Agreeing was most definitely easier than doing, that was for certain. With the door opening, and her leading the way inside, not only then does it really solidify into reality. One of your leading superiors—a trained operations agent—has driven you back to her apartment to “share drinks” and “celebrate without all the other chatter”. At least that’s what she bargained for in the car.

You’ve politely found purchase on the faux leather cushion of her couch, material beige and smoothened, and you curl into it as you keenly gape around the place.

The condo is fresh, and crisp, organized and minimalistic, but still with a trace that’s so understandably miss valentine.

After hearing about rumors of Jill’s horror in raccoon city, you can almost bet she’s much more at ease now, with her new place, and her new position. Eager to distance from her solemn past.

She’s a workaholic, that’s for sure, multiple rooms in her living space and she’s dedicated one for her research; the door slightly agape, and you can’t help but satiate your curiosity as you squint your eyes and look past the doorknob.

With what little you can see through the crevice, there’s a desk inside with files strewn along the top, corkboard furnished along the wall and vital information pinned to it with colored thumbtacks. Not able to help yourself, a tender smile cracks on your lips as you notice irrelevant stickers plastered along the granulated cork, designs of cats and succulents the older woman has happily put everywhere. Your heart pangs at the innocent gesture, imagining such a stern individual indulging herself with such small and adorable items.

“Do you have a preference? Want anything in particular?”, said woman calls from the kitchen, face astern and a hand pushing the fridge door open. Hastily, you retreat your beady eyes, suddenly feeling impertinent for your sense of wonder. She lists off what she has, but it’s all foreign to you, not making much sense from your lack of alcohol expertise.

“I’m not sure”, you shrug sheepishly, a bashful grin displayed, “anything is fine, really”. ‘Anything that you pick, I’ll drink’, sounds more correct, but you digress.

She reads you like you’re an open book, your naivety and youth all too transparent and sat right on her couch, eyebrows furrowed and hands respectfully folded in your lap. A position she’s noticed you in ever since you were rigid and unsettled in her vehicle. When were you ever going to relax? It filled her with incomprehensible mirth, the way you were.

“You’re quite young, aren’t you?”, Jill teases a little, poking at the spots that make you internally weak as she flashes a knowing smirk, “don’t drink a lot I take it? That’s alright”.

She retrieves two glasses from her cupboard and fills them with her pick as you so kindly advocated, closing the fridge and then sauntering over. She takes her place beside you, the leather sinking from the weight of two, her thigh resting along the couch and the shape of her kneecap brushing against you.

“All yours. Bottoms up”, a throaty chuckle resounds in her throat as she offers the drink, ushering for you to take it into your small hands, in which you oblige with unreadable panic. “Cheers”, she clinks her glass with yours, before she’s reclining into the cushion and swallowing, throat muscles contracting up and down.

You only manage to gulp down a small portion of the beverage, soured reaction shriveling your lips. It wasn’t the most enjoyable, but it was Jill’s, and you found it as well sought after as any nobel prize. This drink, this couch, this moment. This moment with her, even if every lick of the bitter whiskey was deathly, you would still sacrifice every lumpy taste bud just for a second with the woman.

Slowly, she sets the drink down on the coffee table, and you watch her movements carefully. Those hands of hers guide the cardigan off her shoulder blades, shrugging the gray fabric down and onto an armrest with a composed exhale.

What torture it is, your foolish reverence for her. Dirty incalescence ferments between the swell of your thighs, burning and burning once you catch sight of the dip between her chest, cleavage freckled with age and brown moles dotted along her sharpened collarbone. Her tight little blue tank top hiding underneath that damned cardigan this whole time. The fabric is stressed across the seaming of her bust, creased and curled until it dips down and hugs around the frame of her waist. There’s no fucking way you’ll be able to make it through tonight without slipping up.

“You’re brave for working under the organization, no matter what you do. Reminds me of when I first started training, I was around your age too. It’s risky, but I’m sure you already know that”, she bends downward to unlace her coal-shaded boots, tugging the zipper down without an ounce of patience in her.

“You gettin’ along with everybody? How is everything, with the new position and all? I mean, the way you were acting earlier, it makes me worried. If anyone’s screwing with you-”.

“No no no, it’s not like that, I promise”, you cut her off, shaking your head quickly in hopes you could help her understand your viewpoint, in which she glances at you and sits upright. She got you to talk, and if she wasn’t absolutely smug about it.

“Everything is fine, and the department is kind to me. You’ve been very generous too, and I’m thankful. I’m just…still trying to get used to everything”, she bobs her head with acumen, digesting every syllable and stumble of your words, listening maturely. She finds flattery in your compliment toward her, doing best not to grin.

“How is it with, um…you and Chris?”, you ask, and the moment the question slips past your lips, you’re filled with utter regret. What kind of question was that? Valentine raises her eyebrow in bewilderment, shocked by the sudden change in subject. She draws her arm along the head of the couch, manspreading whilst she sits as she pleases, eyes still narrowed with pique and pointed in your general direction.

“Me and Chris?”, the laughter she bellows out is vocal, giggling deeply without much restraint, “we’re partners, is all. We’ve been in this field for a while now.”

The way she carries herself around you is as if she’s known you for years, like this is just some humorous conversation that fills her with interest. She wasn’t this excited to speak at the restaurant, you’ve noted, and it’s heartwarming. You, of all people, have made her soft.

Despite all the liquor she’s consumed tonight, she is still impressively sober, quick to catch on to all your soft spoken words, and averting eyes. Although, her high tolerance, of all things, is not a particular trait of hers that surprises you. It only aids the turmoil that rumbles in your chest; it makes you feel weighed down and heavy, the scent of luxurious usquebaugh lingering on her tongue after every breath she releases.

“I see”, you mumble, “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I shouldn’t have asked.”

Jill rolls her blue eyes, “you’re always apologizing, you have nothing to be sorry about”, the room falls silent, clock that’s hung on her wall ticking as seconds prolong into minutes. That is, until she speaks again.

“What about you? Got a boyfriend? Lay it on me”, and the room feels like it’s suddenly enclosing, the words strangely suffocating, and you refuse to admit your sheer infatuation you bore for her. You shake your head with silence, finding that your speechlessness was a better reply rather than your jumbled words of anxious gibberish. One slip up, and you knew it would be over.

Your fingers tease the constricting dress again, eyes exerting to the way your thighs expand and lay flat on her sofa. The way the material fits you like a glove was sweltering, especially with her obsidian pupils beating down on you, drinking up your every tentative counter.

“So that’s a no”, she snorts at your lack of volume, feeling filled with confidence. “You stare a lot, you know that? I noticed you looking at me all night. I don’t scare you, do I?.”

You shoot your attention toward her now, irises apprehensively rounded and wide, and you feel the world absolutely crumble as you're struck with distress over her admittance. She did notice, after all. How pathetic you must have looked the whole time, peering from the fucking entree platter to her every couple of minutes, so visibly envious whenever anyone uttered a single word to her.

“No, I”-

Your pale lips tremble as they open, an absinthal taste wrought over your tongue and depleting any moisture from your mouth. You try to answer, meek and destroyed from your own clumsy dilemma. How different this could have been, if only you weren’t so gullible when it came to your yearning, now leading yourself into chagrin as you couldn’t keep your eyes away earlier.

“I’m sorry”, you pipe out, “I didn’t mean to”-, and she’s engulfing you, brain all smothered into mush and your body liquidizing to putty under the embrace she ensnares you in. Countless nights you’ve spent imagining how every curve of her lips feels pressed along yours, how they move, how they taste, but absolutely nothing can put into words how beautiful they feel as they swallow up your squeaks of dismay.

She’s crawling forward until she’s got you all laid out underneath her, squirming in your position as you submit to the palm she lays on your chest, a firm push she gives until you’ve gone flat amongst the leather cushion. With her legs now entangled with yours, she’s content, humming into the kiss she’s so rightfully initiated, sharp nose dipping into the velvet skin of your face, and skimming along your cheek with every tilt of her head.

Challenged by inexperience, you try best to keep up with the opening and closing of her mouth she’s laying upon you, her eyes sealed as her lips seemingly can’t control themselves, a hunger you’ve never expected from Jill. Flavors of malt she's got melting from her tongue, intoxicated saliva that’s mixed with yours and creating a slippery concoction between your lips with every thirsting lick she provokes.

“Need some attention? Am I right?”, the brunette separates from the bliss she had solicited, lips detaching with a wet smack so she can inhale sharply. “I’m much older than you, much”-, she huffs, airily snickering at the sight behold just right beneath her, “much fucking older.” She drags the wriggling muscle out from between her teeth and over her lips, collecting the moisture and spit you had so generously lathered over her. To die like this, it would be divine.

You lay dormant and vulnerable to her control, but she had warned you. Her words were not to be taken lightly, but rather, considered. To give up your innocence for such a filthy, wretched moment like this, Jill knew better. But those eyes of yours had begged, pleaded, were filled with desperation. Whatever she had done, or would do, you wouldn’t lament over it—but rather—savor it.

“I know”, you speak up, balancing the shakiness that wracks you. You’ve wanted a moment like this with her, and you refused to let it slip away from the cracks of your fingers when she was so, so close to granting you everything you’ve wished. “I know you are.”

“Yeah, I bet you do. Explains all the staring, that goddamn dress during winter for Christ’s sake, all on purpose, I take it, tryna get my attention”, the silver pendant of her necklace dangles above you, circling as if it’s meant to entrance you. “The hell am I going to do with you?.”

The authority that oozes off her foul tongue is like morphine, an opiate you’ve swallowed, it’s addictive and ruins your common sense completely. Innocent eyes flicker back and forth, your jaw now slack as you can’t focus between the heat swirling in her pupils, or the way her lips taunt you for another taste.

The delicate curve of her nose, like a deity the way she so naturally is, sculpted from the stars as you examine the dorsal bump that sits near the bridge between her eyes, and then arches down to her cupid's bow. You want to pepper kisses all over her, take a risk into her world, trace the fine lines that are embedded into her pale complexion. God, you wanted it, no matter how foolish you would become.

Not able to withstand another teasing comment, you bring your lips to hers with vehemence, your shaky hands drawn over the stretch of her back, nails bundling up fistfuls of blue cotton fervently and with lack of restraint.

“Easy, baby”, the older woman rasps out a discordant laugh as she eases apart from you, “I got it, sweetheart. Let’s take our time, no need to rush anything.”

But the way your fingers are threading up her spine, carding through the syrupy strands of her hair and burying the pads of your fingers into her darkened roots tell her everything. “Please”, you whisper, a whine of desire prolonging from your throat, “take me to bed.”

And who is she to deny such a request? Fallen at your feet from square one.

With groping hands and ragged breaths, Jill has led you to her room and shoved her calloused hands onto the square of your chest, watching you stumble your way backward until your knees wobble, feet losing balance and you surrender your footing. Now draped along her mattress, you’re sprawled amidst her disheveled sheets, unintentionally alluring at the edge of her bed. A present that needed to be unwrapped and reveled in. Undressed and ravaged.

Undoubtedly, the attraction was mutual. Too reticent to meet her eye, fledgling and modest you were, a stark contrast to the indecent and repugnant men that stuck around and partnered alongside Jill in multiple missions. She was abnormally engrossed in you, freshly employed, seeing a sliver of compassion in every beam you presented, how much you were blossoming compared to the others who groaned and wailed.

Of course, your age had been worrisome, and Jill felt guilt course within her at such salacious contemplations. But to have you laid out in this moment, so youthful, so precious, she knew it was alright. She was going to take such good care of you, that was certain, cherish you like no other. And from the way you propped your weight up onto your elbows to wait for her, in her bed—she knew you had waited a while for this too. The glimmering twinkle in your glossy eyes, an unspoken plea from the depths of your soul.

Jill pried your heels off your feet and threw the irrelevant shoes to the floor, long fingertips prodding along the protruding talus bone and further down to the curve of your calf, pulling your leg upward so she could chastely peck along the skin. Give you softness before she fucked you clueless, solicited vulnerable cries from that sweet mouth.

“God, you’re so perfect, sweet thing. Need you to be good and spread your legs for me”, she mumbles amongst unarticulated nibbles to your calf, two strong hands guiding your limbs apart with your permission. You comply, breath hitched in your throat, craning your neck back once she lowers a palm between your two thighs, index and middle finger circling into your sticky panties, meddling with the sodden gusset.

She grunts, your wet cunt fueling her ego. She knew it was worth examining how ruined you already were, but this quick? How precious.

“Fucking hell, you’re needy”, you flush viciously at her jesting observation, squirming so sensitively at the swirls and caresses of sensual friction, every plunge of her trimmed nails into the flimsy fabric were torturous. Panties are humid and tainted from your own very need, and you feel your body is just an ocean of desire, body overflowing with lecherous want.

You wantonly gripe and huff, dress now creased and hiked up to your navel as Jill holds you still and anchored, one hand clamped around your knee securely as the other is buried between your thighs, toying with you. Coaxing those gentle gasps out of you that make her heart swell, fill her with greedy pride.

“Just a couple of kisses, and your panties are already ruined”, she curls a finger into the band and drags the elastic up, the soiled undergarment loose and freed from your glistening labia, before Jill releases, the material slapping back down within mere seconds. Jolting and whimpering, you’re appalled from the igniting slap amongst your sensitive warmth, hips jittering and Jill flashes you a playful smile.

“Half my goddamn age and gettin’ all wet”, she tugs the panties up now, watching the cotton sink into the slick of your pussy, lips curled around the laced seam and cutely puffed out, glistening with your own pronounced arousal. “Pretty girl”, she muses, dark eyebrows creased and wrinkles of concentration forming along her forehead as she gawks at you coming apart, beseeching for mercy with little squeaks and airy sighs. She wonders when you’ll demand pleasure, but such a sweetheart you are, letting Jill have her way with you.

She’s too impatient for this little game, having enough of prolonging your reward of indescribable pleasure and ecstasy. She pushes the damp gusset to the side, a bridge of transparent slick breaking apart from the undergarment once she bares your cunt to her hungry eyes, lengthy fingers spreading your velvety lips apart, her mouth formulating into an impressed “o” at the vision.

“Jill”-, you pipe up with uncertainty, but she hushes you, another kiss she smothers to your calf. “I know”, she hums, “I know”. You feel all warm inside, sickened with endearment by the way she looks at you, clenching around thin air as you imagine how well she’ll fill you. You’re all hers tonight, she knows this.

A veil of brown tresses conceal half her face as she lowers her head to a calculated angle, sharp collarbone and shoulder blades pronounced once she bends closer to your clit. She collects tepid drool off the tip of her pink tongue, and hurls it down onto your turgescent pearl, watching her bubbling saliva sully your pretty little pussy and drip down to your pulsating hole, entrance begging to be split open as you clench once…then twice, and a third time. You shiver at the contrast of temperature, cool slick now warmed by the draw of her thermal spittle, and you attempt to keep your head up to watch with half-lidded eyes, desperate to see the woman you loved.

Despite her foul-mouthed tendency, and inclination for dirty talk, she was slow, and tender. Her hands were rough, marred from training and littered with blemishes and scarring. Though, she was so considerate the way she plopped her thumb along the swell of your clit, textured fingertips rubbing upward against the flesh, flicking the small, and hardened bud with precision that had you moaning brokenly into her pillows. Your nostrils flare, inhaling her musk that’s adorned the sheets, the scent enveloping you, in which you only moan louder.

“Yeah, feeling good, aren’t you. Like my fingers?”

“Mhm!”, you had no words to speak, clasping onto the bedding as she steadily draws circles of pleasure over your enlarging bud. She tests the waters, pointer finger nudging at your dripping entrance, and when you make no sound of denial, she buries herself inside, curling one finger into your cunt. She laughs flippantly as your body instinctively swallows her in, fleshy walls tightening and frenzied, clenching sporadically around her, and she adds another finger slowly, trying best to be careful with you; her precious girl.

“Jill- oh my god”, the sudden stretch of her fingers is surreal, sticky taint gushing from your weeping hole and defiling the pale, boney fingers that split you apart so remarkably, obscene sonorities that climb up the walls and ring into your ears. You were already soaked earlier after the push of her tongue along your teeth, a saturated flower between your shaking legs, luminous and gleaming after a rainfall of dominance the older woman harbored.

But the way she bullies her knuckles inside you, her spit sloven hands smearing her slobber all over your vulva—you've been undeniably ruined, sopping mess that’s smeared to the flesh of your inner thighs and down to the shape of your rear, and you sob.

“Can’t- can’t do it”, your body says otherwise, pleading for more, blood rich and adrenaline coursing through bluish veins like wildfire. Thrust after thrust, and push after push; transforming your mortal chassis into molten nothingness. You’ve surrendered willingly, fallen victim to a certain euphoria that wounds around you, ensnares you into a blanket of submission.

“You can”, Valentine coaxes, more of a demand than suggestion, inspecting you past her webbed eyelashes, “and you will.” Her two fingers are tight against one another, pummeling toward the spongy muscle inside you with a pump of her wrist, arm flexing as she opens you wide to her advantage, folds spread apart to her liking, flapping limply atop the tarnished knuckles that gets forced into your noisy pussy. You’re writhing desperately, an arm flailing down the arch of your stomach to catch her, and you’re teary eyed; two crystals gleaming and threatening fat tears.

You’ve begun to blubber riddles of nonsense, incoherent gasps that can only direct Jill toward one conclusion, and once your hips grind upward to meet the dry surface of her palm, she’s sucking her teeth. You’re close, she smirks in understanding.

“Hm!”, you shake your head, and what else can you say? Disheveled and torn away, once innocent and pure, now fragmented into a vision of a filth from the way you moan symphonies. Dress slithered up just below the cave of your ribs, and a trembling hand clamping down on the wrist that’s trapped between your lifted thighs, you’re the image of a prostitute.

Nonchalant from your intrusive hand desperate to stop her, Jill swats you away and flashes you an expression that reads ‘don’t do that again’, before she’s plunging once more, and your stomach lurches, hitched breath trapped within your esophagus.

“Listen to yourself”, she tantalizes, sultry remarks hissing from the gaps of her pearly whites, and you whimper delicately as you begin to lose yourself in the bliss. It’s only in that moment of fragility that you recognize what she finds so amusing, the squelching of your cunt, juices lewd and sloppy as they flow, and you’re clenching around the older woman’s joints within. Further and further, until the rope breaks, and you’re crumbling into oblivion, battered fingers ushering you into an orgasm of pristine heaven.

Her thumb lulls you from your sequencing spasms, rubbing your used little clit in tender circles as she marvels over such magnificence with blown pupils, still standing at the edge of the bed whilst she listens to the howls of elation that tumble from your cute lips. She’s got to stop herself from hounding you right now, control the erotic sparks that are boiling underneath the constriction of her pants. She did this, and if she didn’t feel so full of herself because of it. Thoroughly smitten with you.

“There you go”, she hushes you with rasping care, observing with worry as your soft hips remain twitching, “you okay?.”

She abandons the mess she made the moment she joins alongside you, crawling to fill the cold space amongst the bed, suckling marks of woo under the slant of your jaw once she’s beside you. Slender, protective arms are snared around your heaving figure, and you’re humming to reassure her, reaching to grasp onto the meat of her biceps for a sense of imploring comfort.

“You did good”, a husky murmur that rumbles from her, reverberates through you as she douses nurturing pecks along the crown of your swarming head, your brain filled with static and fuzz from such an experience. She thinks you’re finished for the night, wasted and frayed—the humble woman she was—figuring she’ll get you cleaned up and call it a night.

The conclusion is omitted, fortunately, from the moment your mouth falls agape, needy muscle thrashing inside and your libido pulsates. You lever her hand that was once caressing your waist, and bring it upon the seat of your bottom lip, peering past your nose at the wrinkled fingertips; pruned and soiled from the liquid you've drenched them in. Your release, glued and preserved amidst the pores of the brunette's skin.

A low sigh of approval erupts from Jill’s chest as you clean the cracks and crevices you’ve dirtied, your beady eyes now sealed tightly as you slurp on the digits hungrily.

“Can’t baby”, she drawls, cunt throbbing and irritated as it stays purchased amongst the seaming of her ripped jeans. “Might be too much for tonight.”

As if you’re adamant on her docility and compliance, you swirl your tongue over her nail beds, the addictive brewery of your cum, globs of spit, and her flesh had all become dewy and sloshed down the walls of your throat. You moan, bobbing your head until you sputter around her, and the two digits sit upon their tongue-like throne beside the swell of your tonsils, leaving you gagging stupidly by the sensations.

Fucks sake, she wants to pummel that honeyed mound into the sheets until you’re ripping her off, tear streaks racing down your cheekbones. You fucking asked for it? You’re gonna get it.

“Want you to feel good”, you gargle, batting your eyelashes, “please?”

Denial dawns heavily upon her for the second time tonight, the fear of mauling your body—her temple of worship—weighing heavy on her racing heart. But the stench of sex disarms her restraint, the prodding canines and writhing tongue deepthroating her fingers merely convincing her. “Wanna feel you”, you whimper, “wanna”- and there’s no more words that need to be said.

Constricting fabric and other layers of clothes are shredded apart within a matter of seconds, now askew and in disorganized piles amongst the older woman’s bedroom floor. She couldn’t care less, peeling off everything she, or you possibly owned, a chest of ample breasts swinging and soft, chocolate moles dotted from her collarbone to the curve of her rising tits. You feel them perk against your own, nipples coupled and stimulating one another. Her robust figure straddles your hips, strengthened thighs not allowing an escape as she wrestles her lips against yours, groaning in low carnality.

The night is crude, bawdy, and daring. Jill Valentine’s apartment molding into a pornographic masterpiece, with licentious kisses exchanged with swollen lips, and entwined legs that brush against one another. She’s slotted herself so perfectly against your cunt, raising her hips so she can grind her clit against yours, and it’s everything she’s wanted. Everything you've wanted. Hymns of pleasure conjoin, and she’s clamping your thighs as she meets you in the center, a sultry look through her hooded eyes. With nails digging crescents into your skin, she huffs out a hissing moan, string of curse words descending before she can communicate properly.

“So close babe, so fucking close”, Jill’s pelvis pushes upward, folds kissing one another and she connects with you like you’re both two puzzle pieces meant for one another. “Gotta wait for me baby, wait for me, okay?”. She’s already said that many times tonight, stilling her scissoring once she spots even a measly scrunch of enjoyment building up on your youthful features. Egging you on just to shatter any shroud of pleasure.

“Wanna fuck this sweet pussy all night”, she grunts, chuckling in mirth at your whines for release, beads of sweat drawn over her temples. “Be patient with me baby, be patient”. And she’s tugging the ropes again, leg drawn over yours as she rubs against you, over and fucking over again, until you’re a ruptured woman, humbled from your own begging.

#bloodcasket #resident evil smut #jill valentine smut #resident evil x reader #jill valentine x you #jill x reader #jill valentine fanfiction #jill valentine x reader #jill fanfic #lesbian

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erwinsvow · 1 year ago

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𝐜𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞, 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐬

summary: aaron hotchner is a lot of things. in love with you is one that you never saw coming.

word count: 7.1k

author's note: bau!reader + hotch is my favorite combo ever. i haven't written and posted in, like, two years so please be nice :) i've written so many other versions of hotch but this one just wrote itself. inspired by the amazing @luveline and so many breathtaking hotch stories and isabel (alisdas on ao3, not on here anymore i think :( ) who wrote of terrible coffee and late-night rides which i think started all of this and my immense aaron brain rot when i read that fic, like, three years ago. enjoy!

This was wrong, Aaron thought to himself. He seldom committed acts that others might say were wrong, or argue they could potentially be wrong, but this was different. Aaron felt wrong, a feeling he was not used to.

“I’m worried about you, that’s all,” you had said quietly on the jet early one morning. You two were sitting across from each other on the flight back from the team’s latest solved case, an excruciating long ride home from the coast of Oregon.

Your book laid open on your lap, unread and a bookmark tucked between the earlier pages. The spine was cracked, like you’d read it a hundred times before. He knew that wasn’t true though, it was just a used novel probably from the thrift store around the corner of your apartment.

You had told him once, back when you first started—back when he was still married and you were less affected by this job—that you liked finding used (pre-loved, you call it) books and picking the most worn out ones to take home. You said it means that someone used to love this book.

It felt wrong because you were too young for him, and too innocent to be mixed up in his life. What could you know about his thoughts? About the love of his life that divorced him and his son he only sees once in a while.

The rest of the team makes jokes with you, in particular JJ and Penelope. He’s even heard Emily pitch in, about your not-so-secret fondness for your boss. For him.

Back when you had first started, it was nothing. Passing glances, working extra hard to please him and earn his praise—which was never given out generously. He hadn’t even taken the time to notice, never paid more attention than any other member of the team. What he did notice was your work ethic.

Being among the youngest of the team had instilled a drive in you to prove your worth. You always stayed an hour extra, came early, and spent nights working the case even when you were yawning every few minutes. The most attention he’d given you back then was commenting that you’d had a good insight into the unsub, commending you on well-written reports and briefs, and offering you a cup of coffee when it was just you and him left in the sheriff’s office. He’d be rereading seemingly endless pages of the case reports and you’d be diving headfirst into the victim’s lives.

Your specialty was always understanding why the victims did what they did, figuring out their routines and ascertaining important details from their personal belongings. He was used to you flicking through diaries and boxes of mementos that were once treasured by another young girl, not so much older than yourself.

He’d be lying if he hadn’t thought it was impacting you—reading through the journals of dead women who had been very similar to yourself, with similar hopes and dreams. It was depressing, he knew, and yet if you were bothered by it, you didn’t show it in the slightest. At least not to him.

And back then, he’d never notice the sweet smile that always graced your face when he was asking you if you’d like coffee. You’d shake your head no, and take sips of water between your yawns. You didn’t even tell him that you don’t drink coffee until a few months later, after he asked if you’d ever like a cup when he offered. He can remember it clearly even now.

“Actually, Hotch, I don’t drink coffee.” Your cheeks were tinged with color like you were embarrassed to even be admitting this to him.

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner? I would have stopped asking three months ago.” If he sounded stern, he didn't mean to. The burning on your face deepened.

“I didn’t want to be rude. I drink tea though, but I didn’t think to mention it. It’s not as easy to make.”

“Well, let me know if you need a cup of hot water then.”

You had smiled at that, and he had turned around to take another picture on the bulletin board. He smiled a little too.

“You don’t need to worry about me,” he said, maybe a little too gruffly. He didn’t mean it, again, but it just came out that way. He thinks some part of him is trying to warn you to stay away before you get too close.

“We’re all worried. You went through something really big and didn’t tell any of us and even if you don’t care about us like that, I care about you. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Aaron’s gaze casts around the rest of the jet. Derek has his headphones in, staring out the window and trying to resist sleep. JJ and Emily are playing cards—they should be sleeping, but they had a little too much espresso a few hours before. They’re too far away to hear you and Aaron speaking, but he notices JJ’s eyes darting over every once in a while. Spence is asleep, and he realizes that’s why it’s so quiet. Dave is reading a book, too, but he’ll stop and interject into JJ and Emily’s conversation.

He looks back at you, sleepy-eyed and wrapped in a warm, boxy pullover from your alma mater. He thinks a little bit too much about you these days, and he can’t get it to stop. He shouldn’t profile anyone on the team, they have a strict moratorium on that, but especially not you.

You, who never fails to try to make anyone feel better when they’re down. You, who doesn’t make it seem like you’re analyzing their behavior, but rather observing and offering comfort in hard times. You remember everything the team tells you about their likes and dislikes, never forgetting a birthday or special occasion. He can distinctly recall fresh chocolate chip cookies on Derek’s birthday, carrot cake from the Italian bakery Rossi loves to celebrate when his latest book became a bestseller, and a new knick knack for Penelope’s office after a particularly brutal case.

You say it’s all in passing, but he knows it’s not. You’re trying your hardest to keep the team together in the little ways, strengthening bonds that extend beyond coworkers. You want to fit in and be accepted, and you worry so much that you won’t. This is your way of trying to show that you’re a part of this team too, not just the new girl and one of the young ones.

Aaron blinks twice. You’re looking at him expectantly, and he wishes you wouldn’t. All he’ll do is disappoint you.

“You don’t need to worry,” he repeats. “I’ll be fine.”

“I wish you wouldn’t say that. Why is it so bad for us to worry about you?” You look like you’re starting to get upset—it hurts Aaron more than he realized it would. It’s not bad for the others to worry, it’s bad for you. If you get attached, if he lets this get unprofessional, he doesn’t think he’ll ever forgive himself. Hurting himself is one thing; hurting you is another entirely.

“Let it go, Agent. Try to get some rest.” He looks out the window. He can see the sun coming up, and realizes he hasn’t slept since the night before last. He still needs to drive home—not really home, he remembers sadly, his empty apartment— and work on reports before he can even see Jack. He doesn’t think resting now is a good idea, and yet his body is so tired.

When he looks back, you’re reading your book again but your eyes are really paying attention to the words on the page. You’re just skimming, and blinking rapidly, and he realizes then he’s made you tear up.

His phone goes off—Haley, and he feels guilt building up in his chest, almost overwhelming him. He steps away to answer and talks quietly. He doesn’t want you to overhear and worry even more. When he comes back to his seat, you’ve fallen asleep. He takes the book from your hands gently and puts the bookmark in, closing it and resting it on the seat beside you. He watches you sleep and wonders if he’s making a mistake trying to hide from you. He thinks, and not for the first time, that you see right through him.

The plane lands an hour and a half later, and everyone is beyond exhausted. Even Spencer, who normally doesn’t need much energy or caffeine to start talking fast about something interesting he noticed about this case and this unsub, is unusually quiet. They’re all running on fumes, staying up two nights in a row profiling and then catching the unsub with the latest victim at one in the morning, and then boarding the jet soon after.

Aaron makes a decision, everyone can work on their notes from home and the report is due no later than day after next. Derek pats him on the shoulder and says no one is to call him for the next twenty-four hours. JJ and Emily exchange a laugh. Y

ou, he notices, though he wishes he wouldn’t, go up to Spencer and talk with him quietly. When you’re done, he beams at you and you at him. He wonders what you two talked about when they’re all heading out, listening to Spencer ramble about how the unsub’s use of his childhood spots as disposal sites offers insight into the abuse of his youth. Prentiss tells him to save it for the report.

He and Rossi are walking back to their cars when Dave speaks up for the first time.

“You’re wondering what she said to him, aren’t you?”

Aaron stops for a moment.

“You should know better than to profile me.”

“Oh, I’m not profiling. This is just me being observant. You should stop fiddling with your ring finger when you talk to her. It’s a dead giveaway.”

“Dave, I don’t need to tell you that this conversation—“

“I know, I know. I won’t mention it again if you don’t want me to.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“See you tomorrow, Aaron. And by the way, she offered to write his notes for him if he wanted. He said it’s hard for him to write about unsubs with schizophrenic tendencies and she said she can try to help, if he wants. That’s all. Let me know when you’re ready to talk about this.”

Aaron gets in his car and doesn’t stop thinking about you the entire ride home.

You wish you could make it stop. The way you feel about your boss. It started so long ago, it’s almost a part of you now. Aaron is stern and his disposition is frightening, to the say the least. But only at first, you’ve realized, after so many late evenings spent discussing the case with him, breaking down the tiniest details, and him paying attention to your every word when you discuss the victim’s demeanor and behavior to try to figure out what had really happened.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, you thought. You had gone to the overpopulated state school with the hopes of entering the medical field. You were a true empath, and there was no one’s suffering you couldn’t relate to, no one that you wouldn’t try to make feel better. All your life, people cried on your shoulder while you offered up words of comfort. And because of this, everyone thought you were a shoo-in for nursing or medical school, where you could help people through the worst days of their life.

All it took was a few days at the hospital where you had been working, a string of murder victims being wheeled in one after another, for you to reconsider your life’s work. None had survived the incident, but the killer let them live just long enough to be seen by the doctor, who then had to declare them legally dead.

Something about the victims seemed familiar to you, how they’d all come from wealthy families and were sliced up in their expensive clothing, expensive jewelry and watches smashed to bits instead of being stolen. You mentioned it to one of the officiers, who told someone else, and somewhere in that chain of events, your insight helped them catch the killer.

It was then, you thought, that maybe you should be working on the other side of these situations. Stopping the killer before it ever got to this.

Then you’d done a one-hundred and eighty degree spin on your career, electing to pursue becoming an agent. You had been young, and motivated, and you chose to overlook when everyone told you this job might become your whole life, leaving no time for a husband and kids and a family.

You had ignored it all, working your way up from the local field office to child crimes in just a year and a half. The transition out of sex crimes to homicide was disturbingly hard, because at least before you’d had a victim to interview. You were no expert, not yet, but a unique asset altogether, combining a true mission to uncover the best in each victim, and figuring out their behavior patterns from bedrooms and diaries.

It was a unique skill-set, acquired mostly because a lot of traumatized children didn’t offer much to go off of. You had to turn to their childhood homes, toys, and scribbles to figure out what had been going on in the first place.

You reflect often on why you decided to leave child homicide when news spread that the BAU had an opening for one more agent. Truthfully, you hadn’t considered it at all, since you were more than happy with your current position and coworkers. You were solving cases, delivering justice, and bringing whatever comfort you could bring to grieving families.

In fact, you had been requested specifically. You, out of a hundred or more well-established, intelligent agents that could be a huge asset to the team. You were never special, and you didn’t like to think of yourself in that way either, but you couldn’t deny how good it felt to hear that the team wanted you.

And when you transferred over, everyone was so nice. The team was inviting, they respected your opinion, and especially in cases with younger victims, they revered your knowledge. You felt included, and invaluable, and as hard as you worked, you wanted to work even harder.

Your boss was a brilliant agent and profiler, and so hardworking that you wanted to do anything you could to make his workload a little easier. You wrote the most detailed reports, so he would have to edit them as much.. You offered to pick up extra briefs, so he took home a couple less papers. And no matter what you did, acknowledged or not, you knew you were making the kind of difference you’d always dreamed you would.

Aaron—he was only ever Aaron in your head, and Hotch the rest of the time—liked you as an agent, and it made you happy. A little happier than you should be, considering he was happily married with a toddler and a perfect life outside of work. It was almost wrong, but it didn’t stop you from trying to impress him with your work ethic.

You always put aside your other feelings and focused on the team, and somehow in all of that, you felt like you were finally making your difference. You were close with the team and close enough with Aaron, that you hadn’t been worried to start that conversation on the jet now that all these circumstances were changing. Haley had asked for a divorce and he hadn’t muttered a word of it to anyone.

He’s so tired, you can see. You wonder if everyone else notices it too, or if it’s just you observing so closely. He has dark circles now, because he never sleeps, always working, and the furrows on his forehead are seemingly etched in and permanent. He misses his wife and his son, and you know it, and maybe it’s wrong to care about your boss so much that your heart hurts when you see him glancing at the framed photos of his family on his desk, or the tiny polaroids in his wallet, but you do. You think you’re in love with Aaron Hotchner, and you don’t know how to make it stop.

You’re gonna get hurt, you remind yourself every now and then.

Aaron and Spence have just come back from the prison, where they had an encounter with Chester Hardwick that they won’t really talk about. You’d been with the rest of the team in Indiana, and then two days later in Oregon.

Aaron and Haley were divorcing, and it hurt him so much, you knew, because it wasn't for a lack of love. It was a lack of time, a shortness of hours in the day. He couldn’t be the husband Haley wanted and the father he thought Jack needed while being an agent for eighteen hours a day. It hurt you too, seeing him like this. You wish he felt better.

The days and weeks seemed to blend into months. Somewhere in between Hotch’s divorce and JJ’s pregnancy, you had become complacent with your relationship with Aaron. Walking in together from the parking lot, leaving together at the end of a long day—usually alone and sometimes joined by Emily or David. Sometimes you’d have a frothy drink from a nearby coffee shop in your hand—to which you always hear, “My coffee’s not better than that stuff?”

“It’s not coffee, remember-”

“I know, you don’t drink coffee. That stuff is full of sugar. I don’t need you bouncing off the walls like Reid and Garcia too.”

You laugh, and then you wonder if it’s because he really cares or if it was just a passing comment. You share a lot of little moments like that.

When his eardrum was nearly blown out after New York, you almost offered to drive back with him from Ohio to Virginia. It was instinct, because you just didn’t want him to be alone. You had exchanged a glance when he handed you the plate of brownies from the victim’s mother, and you knew he had read your mind. But he didn’t say anything, and you left it at that. You’re not nearly stupid enough to think that your boss reciprocates your feelings for him. Hell, most days you don’t even know what feelings you have for him.

Your seats on the jet are almost permanently fixed; near the coffee machine towards the cockpit. You sit across from each other, and sometimes you don’t even speak. He’ll bring you a cup of hot water, and he doesn’t ask if you need a tea bag from the make-shift coffee station, because knows they’re in your go-bag.

When it’s his weekend with Jack after two weeks of back-to-back cases, Aaron is always working on the reports on the jet. It’s because he’s trying to reduce how much work he has to do at home, and even when everyone’s fallen asleep and your eyes are close to shutting, you get up and make him a cup of coffee. He’s never once told you how he takes it, and he doesn’t know if you’ve seen him make it either, but somehow you know, and it’s always right. When you offer him the steaming paper cup, he looks up at you with an entirely new look—something you’ve never seen before. You two don’t exchange so many words.

He says it all with his eyes, sometimes, even when you’re not looking. It’s gratitude. (When you get off the jet a few hours later, you tease Morgan about his snoring. Derek asks you where his cup of coffee is, and you shove his arm so hard he almost drops his bag.

In the end, it was you who had figured out there was something wrong with the Reaper’s last few victims.

“Why would a nineteen year old girl date her teaching assistant?” You had questioned, looking through a file that everyone’s eyes had already seen. “An honors student, a freshman, I mean, none of this points to an illicit affair with faculty. She knew it was against the rules and her roommates said she’s never so much as skipped class.”

“That could have been because she wants to see him,” Derek interjects. “If they were truly in love like Foyet said, she’d take every opportunity to be with him.”

“But in an environment where no one can know you two are together? I mean, if she was in love and close to getting engaged, wouldn’t she tell her best friends? Her parents? How many teenage girls keep something like that just to themselves?”

The pieces of the puzzle that had once fit together so nicely were coming undone. It felt like the blink of an eye, from catching Foyet to him escaping. Everyone was on edge, no one more than Aaron, and your empathy still knew no bounds. Where you had once been able to focus on work and dedicate all your thoughts to the cases, you now were distracted and distant. Every other thought was about Aaron, as wrong as that might be.

Canada had been something else entirely. It was difficult for the entire team to fathom, but nearly impossible for you. You had lost your temper twice—something you’d never done before— and thrown up when the team discovered all the shoes. JJ had run after you but in the end, Aaron was the one who found you outside.

“I’m sorry, JJ, I’ll be fine—I-I just need a minute,” you breath out, chest heaving and tears brimming.

“It’s okay,” Aaron says, “take your time.”

You turn around so fast, your breath catching, and you hate this situation. You could never hate Aaron but you hate this, you hate that he followed you and that he’s seeing you like this. You look weak, after two and a half years of trying to prove to him that you’re strong—strong enough to handle this job, do what needs to be done, and not cry at a crime scene.

“I-I’m sorry, I-”

“Why are you apologizing?” He doesn’t sound mad, or like he’s belittling you, and you don’t know why that’s what you expected. This is Aaron, your Aaron, and even though he’s not really yours it doesn't seem to matter much right now.

“I’m making a scene. I-I shouldn’t be throwing up on the job or screaming at those unsubs or anything else-”

“It’s okay. It happens.” Aaron says it so concisely, you almost feel better for a second. Isn’t this what it’s always come down to? You need Aaron like air, and somehow he always knows what you need to hear. He doesn’t treat you any differently compared to the others but it feels different today. You can’t describe it in words. If JJ or Morgan had followed you out here, you would have said the same things, but you wouldn’t have felt this way. Like if you crumble here today, Aaron will be there to pick you up.

“Take your time, please,” he repeats. “I know you think you have something to prove to me, but you don’t. You’ve proven it already, to all of us. Admitting that all of this gets to you isn’t a bad thing. That’s what separates us from them.”

At that moment, a dam bursts. Tears flow down your face like they haven’t in so long, as long as you can remember. You think you should feel embarrassed, crying in front of your boss, but Aaron takes you into his arms and you can’t remember the last time you felt this safe. Cheesy, you think, but this is everything I thought it would be and more.

You’re not sure how long he holds you there, but eventually once the front of his shirt is covered in your tears and he offers you a tissue (Does he just carry this around waiting for one of us to cry?) and you head back together. This is the embarrassing part, you think, bracing yourself and biting your inner cheek. But if the team is judging you at this moment, they certainly don’t show it.

You join JJ and Emily inside the house, who ask you if you’re okay when you sniffle for the last time. Spencer asks you later, on the way home. Derek tells you to call him if you need anything. Dave tells you, “You’ll be okay, kid,” and somehow, you believe him. Penelope texts you once on your phone, checking in and promising a distracting, gossip filled girl’s night out soon.

Aaron walks you to your car, and says goodnight. You’re delusional, you think, once you're back at home. You’ve taken the longest, hottest shower imaginable and your record player is emitting the scratchy sound of your favorite Beatles album. You’re in a big shirt that’s getting wet while you brush your freshly cleaned hair and all you can think about is how it felt to be wrapped in Aaron’s arms a couple hours ago.

You are delusional, you remind yourself. You’re checking your phone every couple minutes like a love-sick teenager. You think Aaron’s going to call you to check in, you almost feel it in your bones. You leave the ringer on incase he calls later—maybe he showered and sat down to work on some reports before sleeping. You fall asleep thirty minutes later, exhausted down to your bones, and wake up startled by your phone going off. In your sleepy delirium, you answer without looking who it is—assuming it’s Aaron.

“Hotch?”

“Hey, sorry it’s JJ. We have another case, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, JJ, um, okay, I-I’ll be there in ten. Text the address, okay?” Your cheeks burn at the slip.

“I sent it just now. Listen, I’m sorry, but can you try Hotch’s cell? I called and texted and he’s not answering.” You feel your stomach turn, first because Aaron isn’t answering and he always answers, and second because JJ thinks he’ll answer if you call.

“I’ll try him now. I’ll call you back.”

You try him twice while changing and another time in the car. Your only explanation is that maybe he went to see Jack and put his phone away, but even that doesn’t check out.

When you get to the scene, you inform the others about Aaron not answering.

“Alright, let’s split up for now and I’ll keep trying Hotch,” Derek says. They don’t seem that worried, and maybe that lulls you into not worrying either. After all, they’ve known him a lot longer than you have.

You end up with Spencer and Emily at the doctor’s house, combing through patient files Garcia sent over. There’s tens of dozens, and even though you want to go with Emily to Aaron’s place to get him, you know your experience with kids and in the hospital is vital. You and Spencer start working, but something feels off. You just can’t place it.

In the end, you attribute it to your nerves from the last case. Your fear of embarrassing yourself carried into today, and even though you know no one judged you for losing it in Canada, the feeling lingers. Spencer answers the phone from Emily and says that Hotch was busy with something at the bureau that now requires Emily too. In the end, you and Spence figure it out just in time. Your body is so tired, it hurts, and then on top of that, Spencer gets hurt. You can barely process what’s happening, and you don’t feel better until the doctor says it’s through-and-through.

“God, Spencer, never do that again,” you say, your hands wet with the blood from his wound. You wipe it on your clothes, thinking you’ll change soon.

“Guys, guys listen to me, something’s happened to Hotch.” The blood drains from your face and your breath stops in your throat.

“What?”

“Emily told me not to say anything until we got the unsub, but he’s in the hospital.”

The next hour is a blur. You all show up to the hospital, and Emily is talking to a bunch of agents. Their faces are blurred because you can hardly think straight.

“Em? Is he okay?” your words must be coming out frantically because everyone’s looking at you like you’re about to crumble.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t say anything because I knew we wouldn’t be able to think straight about the case, I know it’s wrong but-”

“Is he okay?” You didn’t mean to cut her off, it just happened like that. Your mind is so clouded right now with a petrifying vision of Aaron dying alone on the floor of his new apartment that he hates so much, while you were waiting for a call for him.

“He-he hasn’t woken up yet.”

You sit on a chair by Aaron’s bed. He looks like he’s sleeping, and a part of you had always wanted to see him like this. It would be comforting, if he actually was sleeping. You’d imagined it a little differently—you thought for sure he snores and sleeps on his side. You always notice sleep lines only on one arm when you guys have just woken up and continue working on the case. You stare extra hard when he rolls up the sleeves of his dress shirt on particularly hot days. Everyone would moan and groan about another case in the heat of Texas or Arizona, but not you.

It seems like those memories were a million years ago.

When he wakes up, everyone pours in and it distracts you for a few heartbeats. When they realize what Foyet is actually after, the terror is apparent on everyone's faces. You realize how long it’s been since you last saw Haley and Jack when they finally step into the room. You and Emily leave to give them privacy.

Later that night, you’re back in that chair. Aaron wakes up for a few minutes at a time, and when he finally stays awake, he notices you.

“How long have I been out?”

“Thirty minutes. Give or take.”

“Is there water?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You scramble up to get the pitcher and pour him a glass. There’s a straw too, which you put in the cup and hold still for a second so he can drink.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah.” He can see all your emotions on your face. It doesn’t take him long at all, not anymore. You’ve been crying and your clothes have blood on them. He’s alarmed again.

“Is that your blood?” he asks, swallowing hard.

“No, no, Hotch. We had a case, the-the unsub shot Spence. He’s okay though, it just got on me and I haven’t been back home to change yet.”

“Why don’t you? Go home?”

“I didn’t want to leave you.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“I let you go home alone yesterday and look what happened.” You smile meekly at your own joke, hoping he appreciates it. He lies still though, not smiling.

“I think you should go home. Get some rest after everything.”

“You know, Hotch, only you would tell me to go home and rest up when you’re the one who’s currently in the hospital.”

“I just think-”

“Do you want me to leave? If you do, I will. I swear.” There’s silence between you two for a moment.

“No.”

“Good, because I wasn’t going to.” The corners of his mouth turn up a little. You barely even notice it. “I can’t leave now. I don’t want you to sit alone here.” You should stop talking, you think to yourself. But you don’t. “You know yesterday, I got home and the whole time I sat there wondering if you were gonna call my cell. I even turned the ringer up all the way so I didn’t miss it. And I know that’s stupid because why would you call me? But I had this feeling. And now all I can think is why didn’t I call you?”

“Don’t think like-”

“Don’t think like that? Yeah, I knew you would say that. But if I had called you like I wanted to, and asked you to come over like I wanted to, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. But I didn’t because I was scared and I don’t want to be scared anymore. And I know this is the last thing you need to hear right now, but I guess I can’t hold it in any longer.”

You want to clamp your hand over your mouth. Your favorite cheesy rom-coms have infiltrated your brain, and you can’t fathom how stupid you must sound right now to Aaron. He’s just almost died and the kid who was the last to join his team is declaring love for him on his hospital bed. But it won’t stop coming out.

“Can I tell you something Aaron? I mean, more than I already have? Emily said she didn’t tell me you were hurt because she knew I wouldn’t be able to think straight about the case anymore. About anything, anymore, if I knew you were missing or that you were hurt or dead. And I’ve been trying to hide it for so long, because I know you don’t need any more complications in your life right now, but, I think I have feelings for you, Aaron.” Hot tears stream down your face. You try to stop them but you can’t. They’ve been building up for two years.

“Please don’t cry. I don’t have a tissue for you this time.” You smile through your tears, but your entire body is still tense. It’s because you’re still expecting bad news, still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“Do you want me to leave? I can call Emily, she’ll sit with you if you don’t want to be alone.”

“I don’t want you to leave. And you don’t have to tell me these things, I already knew them.” Another few tears drip down your face. Aaron’s chest hurts more than it has ever before. He thinks back to your conversation on the jet that day, when you told him you cared about him and he hadn’t said much of anything at all. “I hope you know that I have feelings for you, too.”

“You mean you care about me and the team?” you question half-heartedly. You think you’ve already gotten your answer. “I mean I care about the team a lot. And I care about you more than I should, more than what’s right. More than a superior should care about one of their agents. And I think if this hadn’t happened, I would have called you last night. Not because of the case, because of you. Because I need to make sure you’re okay.”

Your heart thumps uncomfortably in your chest. Aaron reaches out his hand a little, and you take it into yours. You sit like that for a long time, and you know there’s so much else going on, but a small part of you sighs in relief. Aaron is okay, and he feels about you how you do about him, and maybe everything will be okay in the end.

The months after Haley’s funeral are tough for everyone. It’s weird going to work and not seeing Aaron. Sometimes you inadvertently make a cup of coffee how he likes it and have no one to give it to. You started drinking some, even though it tastes bitter and terrible, it makes you feel close to him.

How stupid is that, you wonder one day, sipping the coffee and looking over files with JJ. If the rest of the team thinks you're stupid, they haven’t shown any signs of it yet. You’re sure they mostly feel bad for you and your pathetic behavior. You’ve gotten sloppy because you can’t stop thinking about how Aaron is doing.

You and the team will go visit him and Jack at his new place. You make cookies, snickerdoodle for Aaron and oatmeal raisin for Jack.

“What kind of a kid are you?” you questioned, helping Jack scribble in his Captain America coloring book. He’s munching on a cookie while you try to figure out what part of the shield is blue and what part is red. “I mean, who likes oatmeal raisin cookies at the tender age of 5?”

“I did,” Spencer says, taking another one out of the tin.

“You don’t count, genius,” Morgan says, and then directs his gaze at you. “And I mean come on, no chocolate chip for me? None at all? That hurts.”

“I made you some like two weeks ago! I have a job, you know,” you fire back. Aaron laughs, eating the snickerdoodle after dipping it in milk. It’s so domestic, you feel yourself staring. You only turn away when he catches you looking.

When he comes back, you wonder if it’ll ever feel normal again. That silly routine you two had, the chairs on the jet near the coffee machine that you still sit in, walks to your car.

At first, it just feels strange. So much has changed yet the team’s dynamic remains the same. You get through cases with the same ferocity you had when you first started, eager to prove your worth again. Your reports detail every detail and then some, and you stay even later than Aaron some nights. You need something to focus on, and your cases seem like the best option. The other option is to have another conversation with Aaron about your feelings and you think you might die if that happens.

When it finally does happen, it’s plenty embarrassing. You were so sure about your theory about this unsub, so sure that he would confess if he was confronted about his crimes and reminded of the humanity of his victims—three little kids, all under ten. Maybe that’s why it bothered you so much, and that’s why you stormed into the residence even though the rest of the team was screaming at you not to. In the end, you talk him down, but Aaron runs in behind you anyways and nearly spooks the unsub into suicide.

“You do not have the authorization to make calls like that,” Aaron yells at you, and though you had once thought you would die if he yelled at you, it’s all too easy to yell back.

In that moment, when you had known what would happen, dealing with your area of expertise, he stormed in and questioned you and your abilities as an agent and as a profiler.

“I don’t need authorization, I knew what would happen, and I knew how to talk him down without this ending in gunfire—”

“I don’t care what you think you knew. This is a team, and we don’t make decisions that jeopardize a case without agreeing on it!” “You mean you have to agree with every decision I make? I had it handled, Hotch, you almost blew that whole thing up because you didn’t believe in me!”

“That’s not what this is about,” he fires back, and it feels strange to be yelling at you. He can’t recall the last time he’s ever done this. The rest of the team is just packing up in the police station, trying not to overhear but not really having any choice in the matter.

“Yes it is! You don’t trust me! Not to make decisions for this team and for our cases, or for anything. You just proved that back there. You don’t trust me.” It’s happening again. Tears brew in your eyes. They spill down before you can stop it. Aaron softens before your very eyes at the sight of them. “Stop! Stop feeling bad just because now I’m crying, they’re not tears for you, they’re angry tears and I can’t control it-”

“Of course, I trust you.” His voice has dropped from a yell to just above a whisper. “How could you think that I don’t?”

“I’m not stupid, Aaron. I know what I’m doing. My plan was going to work and you shot me down in front of everyone because you didn’t believe in me,” you say between tears. “Nothing’s changed.”

“And what do you think would happen if you stormed in there and I lost you too?” His voice is gentle. You hadn’t noticed that he was so close to you now. You can see the eyelash on his cheek and feel the heat radiating from his body.

“That’s not what this is about.”

“That is exactly what this is about. You think I don’t trust you, so I won’t let you walk into a confrontation alone? That I think you don’t know how to profile, how to handle these unsubs, so I get into a screaming match outside a crime scene? Tell me, does that check with any of my behavior in the years I’ve known you?”

“I don’t know, Hotch, I don’t profile you.”

“You call me Hotch in front of everyone, and especially when you’re upset with me. When it’s just us you use Aaron. You know how I take my coffee even though I’ve never told you, because you pay attention even when no one else is looking. Cases with children affect you the most, especially when it takes us longer to work them, because you think you should be quicker and figure out the unsub faster since you worked with kids before joining the team. You remember the little things everyone says because you don’t want them to think you’re not paying attention to them. You cry about cases when you feel like there’s something more you should have done, even though there’s nothing else any of us can do. And you cry about me the most of all, that time on the jet, in the hospital, and just now because you think I don’t share your feelings. You think I know all this because I’m profiling you, but it’s not. It’s because I pay attention to those whom I love.”

Shell shocked. You are shell shocked at Aaron’s speech, eyes wide and mouth open. You’re sure the rest of the team, hidden behind a bulletin board and the conference table is much the same.

“I’m going to kiss you now. And that’s the end of the conversation about me not trusting you, okay?” You nod dumbly. Aaron’s lips are sweet and taste like his coffee—black, with two sugars. You feel another tear falling but it’s only because you hadn’t expected any of that.

“That took long enough,” David says from behind the partition.

and voila <3

#spent my sunday writing this while rewatching season 3 #putting off prep for my grad school interview b/c this is so much better <3 #hope everyone likes it #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotcher imagine #hotch #hotch imagine #aaron hotch fanfiction

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sansaorgana · 25 days ago

Text

— THE SERPENT QUEEN

PAIRING — Sauron x fem!Maia!Reader

SUMMARY — The Queen of The Southlands is Adar's prisoner in Mordor but her husband comes back to set her free. At least that is what they want other people to believe. In fact, they seek their revenge on the Lord Father of the Uruks and they certainly are up to no good.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — The idea for this story started quite simple – Halbrand looks so hot in this episode that while rewatching I thought... what if he was like "set my wife free" instead of "let my people go"...? 🥵 And in the end the story grew much bigger plot-wise and it's quite long but I didn't want to split it in two parts because I feel like more interesting things are happening later in the story. 🙈🤣 The Reader is a Maia and she changes her forms but I did not describe how any of them look like except for a little detail that is a scar and I needed it for the plot. She is also a shape-shifter like her husband but she is known for being a serpent and she is referred to as (Y/N), which is her "Maia name" but I also gave her three other names, which are for her disguises and their meanings are explained in the fic. BTW there might be a second part to my Chrysalis fanfic! But I wanted to write something else first! 🦋

WARNINGS — Reader is not a good person, mentions of Morgoth's past abuse (towards her, Mairon and Adar), Reader is being beaten by the Orcs as their prisoner (she is a Maia, though, so it doesn't really damage her or anything... but still!), brief mentions of other prisoners dying (including children), Reader has a scar on her chest/breast, shape-shifting into a snake (can it be a tw?)

WORD COUNT — 8,500 (🙈)

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

THE SERPENT QUEEN

“Where did Halbrand’s wife ever learn how to use a sword?” Galadriel wondered after watching your little performance to show her that you indeed could pick the freshly forged weapon up and wield it.

You panicked at first, not knowing what to say, therefore you laid your eyes on your husband who was leaning on the wall with a smirk as he watched you. His tanned muscles, dirty from the forge’s grease, flexed in a very appealing manner as he smirked. After all, he was the master of deception, therefore you hoped he would come up with a good lie.

“That is how I fell in love with her, don’t you know?” He chuckled and shook his head, winking at you. “I started a tavern brawl once and there she was, showed up out of nowhere and pressed a knife to my throat, telling me to get out of her father’s tavern. She kicked my arse although I admit, I let her,” he added and you rolled your eyes.

“Bollocks,” you snorted at that. “Keep lying to yourself, Hal.”

Galadriel smiled at the story, however she remained vigilant.

“That does not answer my question,” she pointed out but you already felt more comfortable with lying since your husband had prepared the soil for it.

“My grandfather was a knight,” you told her. “A poor one that had been given some of his own land but he lost nearly all of his humble fortune because of gambling. He kept his sword, though, and I was his only grandchild. My old man never learnt how to wield it nor was interested in it but I picked it up quite fast. My grandfather was hesitant at first since I was a girl but he eventually gave in and taught me,” you added to make the story more believable. Galadriel, however, looked a little stunned while you grew frustrated. “Listen here, Elf, human women are stronger and more independent than you think. In the village not so far away from ours, there is this woman… Annie’s her name, am I right, Hal?” You looked at your husband with another made up lie.

“Aye, hard–headed Annie,” he nodded and Galadriel raised an eyebrow.

“She is a carpenter’s widow and when ol’ John died, Annie was left with nothing. She learnt the craft in a year and re-opened the workshop,” you told her and Galadriel seemed to be a little surprised but did not comment any further.

“Well, alright then, knight’s granddaughter,” she challenged you as she raised her own sword slightly to point its sharp tip at you. “Show me how you fight now. Holding the sword and waving it around is one thing but dueling with me is another,” she walked out of your house and you swallowed thickly, squeezing the sword’s hilt.

“Don’t overdo it,” Mairon squeezed your arm when you were on your way out. He leaned in to hiss it into your ear as he shot you a warning glance. “(Y/N), I mean it. Let her win in the end.”

You looked deep into his eyes without hiding your frustration and anger.

“Oh? You think I would defeat her? Have you forgotten already?!” You snapped at him, lowering aggressively your white blouse from underneath your corset with your free hand to show him a scar on your breast.

The scar Lady Galadriel had left there the very last time you had duelled with her back in the First Age during the battle where she had known you under a different name and profession, which was one of Morgoth’s Lieutenants. The wound had been inflicted with a steel from Valinor and its pure light had damaged your physical form forever – no matter what shape you took, your form always had a scar in the very same spot.

Your husband looked at the scar and chuckled at the sight of it, which annoyed you further.

“Just go and do your thing but don’t make her suspicious,” he said and you fixed your blouse before following Galadriel outside but not without giving him a scolding look.

Mairon walked out of the building as well and leaned on another wall now but this time in the shadow of the building’s roof where he was able to watch your duel with the Lady of Light.

“Do not fret, it is but a friendly sparring,” she smiled at you.

“I don’t fret,” you emphasised and charged at her.

You were trying to keep your rage at bay and despite the centuries since your previous fight, you quickly found your rhythm again that resembled a gracious dance of two fierce ladies. Feeling your husband’s gaze upon you, not without feeling frustrated and humiliated, you stumbled a few times and let out a few groans of effort to look more human and less experienced than you truly were, hesitating here and there before making the next move even though it had been calculated and planned already.

The Númenorian commoners living on the same street as you and your husband these days froze in the middle of the pavement and abandoned their daily errands to watch the sparring between two foreigner women and what fascinated them the most was how this extraordinary duel was between a human and an Elf. But what they did not know was the fact that the fight in front of their eyes was even more special than they realised.

It was a fight between two old enemies and none of them was mortal. A duel between the Lady of Light, Commander of the Northern Armies of High King Gil-Galad and the Serpent Queen – the only female Lieutenant of Morgoth and then Sauron’s right hand and wife. You had been enemies with her for long centuries now and even in the songs and legends you had always been put against one another. However, that was something even she did not know of at the moment.

You finally landed on the ground, your shoulder blades hitting the pavement as you dropped your sword. She would probably win either way, which was something you had to admit to your own self bitterly, however this time you allowed it to happen much quicker than usual. The way you fell down on the ground hurt your human flesh, therefore you let out a whine and Galadriel’s eyes widened slightly. She visibly felt bad about the fierceness in which she had defeated you despite assuring you of the friendly nature of this sparring.

But throughout the fight you could feel her frustration growing when she had realised you were better than she had been expecting.

“Are you quite alright?” She asked, reaching out towards you with his hand. “You fought well. Your style reminds me of someone very powerful I had once known… Your grandfather must have been a grand knight.”

“I am fine,” you drawled out through your gritted teeth and grabbed her hand, allowing her to help you stand up while you picked up the sword from the ground. The people watching on the pavement were slowly going back to running their daily errands. “Do you think my skills are enough to fight the Orcs?” You asked, innocently.

“Yes, I think so,” Galadriel nodded with a furrowed brow and looked behind you to meet your husband’s gaze. “If your husband allows it, that is.”

“I don’t need his permission for anything,” you shrugged your arms.

“Of course,” Galadriel smiled softly. “But I’m sure Halbrand here would not want to lose you, Maira.”

“I’m not worried about that,” he approached you two and stood behind you before wrapping his strong arm around your waist. “She’s invincible, that woman,” he leaned in to kiss your cheek and you giggled. “My woman,” he added and you patted his arm playfully.

Galadriel kept smiling gently at the two of you. She was very glad her plan was working out and of course you had been making sure it would. Your husband had been playing the role of a man who wanted to have nothing to do with his heritage and you played the role of an insisting wife, motivating her man to do the right thing. A classic, old tale.

“The Southlands will prosper under your rule, of that I am sure,” Galadriel whispered with hope in her voice. “King Halbrand and Queen Maira. Your bloodline will be the bloodline of the great and righteous kings.”

“And queens,” you winked at her with a chuckle.

About that one thing you agreed with her, actually – The Southlands would prosper under your rule.

You would heal it, after all. And then you would be moving along to heal more realms and lands. Until all of Middle-earth would be nothing but perfect.

You were not sure if the volcano exploding was part of your husband’s plan. It probably was but as usual he had not told you everything and it frustrated you greatly. Either way, you had no time to discuss it with him as the dust and fire began to cause chaos and destruction. As the (self-proclaimed) Queen of The Southlands, you busied yourself with pretending to be a protector of your subjects, helping women and children to seek shelter.

The darkness and disarray made it possible for all the Orcs to break free and begin their slaughter as well. And somewhere amongst the messy battle, you were suddenly thrown on the ground with all force and attacked by the filthy creatures you had once led to the battlefield yourself.

Therefore, you knew perfectly well everything about how they were fighting and how they were thinking. Surrounded by darkness and chaos you could show the true potential of your abilities since Galadriel could not see you and find them suspicious. This way, you slayed quite a few Orcs but there were too many of them charging at you and, eventually, they kicked the sword out of your hand and held you by your hair, throwing your head back to expose your neck for the dirty blade of the biggest one amongst them.

“Mairon,” you called for him with your mind. You needed a rescue – you did not want to lose this flesh, which would separate you from your husband for another few centuries.

You had been patiently waiting for his return, hiding away from the Valar who wanted to find and judge you. If you lost your flesh now like he had once lost his, you would have to be away from him for a few more centuries. What a cruel fate it would be but perhaps that was the way for the gods to punish you from afar.

And how ironic it would be if you lost your wife because of the Orcs like your husband had once lost his as well.

“Mairon!” You called for him again when the Orc’s blade moved closer to your neck.

Your husband, however, was busy fighting and perhaps he didn’t even sense your calling. There was only one thing you could do to save your flesh now, although it risked losing your disguise.

The human colour of your eyes subdued slowly and you allowed your pupils to narrow unnaturally as if you were a snake while one side of your human face swelled with thick, black blood flowing in your veins. The Orcs took a step back and looked at each other, confused. You quickly went back to your ordinary and innocent look, though, making them believe they had just experienced some sort of mirage.

They were only descendants of the ones who had been fighting by your side all the centuries ago before your army had turned their backs on you, leaving you in the middle of the battlefield to die from the wound Galadriel had inflicted upon you. Therefore, they could not remember you.

But, perhaps, the legend of the Serpent Queen was still being told between a father and a son amongst the Orcs. Amongst the Elves you were known as Lókë, too, just like your husband was known as Sauron. The Serpent and The Abhorred.

“I am Maira, Queen of The Southlands,” you breathed out the name of your human disguise to the Orcs, pretending to be as desperate as proud. “I am more valuable to you alive,” you added.

They were grunting between each other some things in the Black Speech, which you could understand perfectly but you pretended you could not. Finally, they agreed to let Adar decide your fate and you clenched your jaw at the mention of his name.

The one who had betrayed you and your husband. The one who had ordered the Orcs to leave you out to die in the battlefield where you had been fighting at the same time Mairon had been coronating himself. The war with the Elves had kept you apart on the day so important but you had been trying to remain hopeful – to win him a battle as his coronation gift and get your own coronation ceremony shortly after.

In fact, your husband had promised you that yours would be much grander and more beautiful if you had to have two separate ones. His had been supposed to be a humble one but yours would be the most breathtaking and splendid.

And after nearly coughing your lungs out after being wounded and naively left alone to die as if you were an ordinary mortal, you had crawled out of the battlefield, leaving a bloody trail behind you. And when you had arrived at your fortress, all you had found was Mairon’s dead body.

Knowing he would eventually come back to you, you focused on healing yourself and hiding from the outside world since now you had no army and no husband by your side, meanwhile the Valar had been searching for you. And all this time, you had been tempted to find Adar and seek your revenge but you knew your husband would not be happy that you had taken this from him. He had been the one personally slain by Adar, therefore the vengeance was his to take.

The Orcs put the shackles around your wrists and dragged you behind them to some shed where you were supposed to wait. And while you were on your way there, you finally heard him.

“(Y/N)?” You sensed a panic in his tone. “We are leaving, I am faking an injury. Where are you?”

“Go, Mairon,” you answered. “I am their prisoner and I am sure you can make an advantage of it,” you assured your husband with your mind. He was not replying for a while as if he was thinking about a new scheme.

“I will be back,” he only assured you after a while and you smirked to yourself.

“I know.”

Beaten and bruised, hair full of mud and dried out blood, you were dragged in shackles alongside other human prisoners and you were given no special treatment due to your status. Of course, despite the unpleasant experience of your human form, none of that could truly affect you because you were not bound to your flesh.

If you truly were who you were claiming to be – a human common woman Maira – you would be long dead now, of that you were sure. In fact, you could see some of the humans dying out of exhaustion or injuries and they were mostly women and children.

Each time they were feeling worse, like the true Queen of The Southlands, you were begging for mercy and for help. And each time you were punished for that but of course nothing could damage your flesh permanently – except for pure Elven steel that represented the light of Valinor… but the Orcs did not possess such weapons, naturally.

They worked on some sort of a primitive settlement for themselves and the humans were required to help them. As a woman you were given a bit lighter jobs around and you were performing them although you wondered when would Adar finally grace you with an audience as you were gritting your teeth and wondering where your husband was and what was he doing.

And, finally, one day, while working alongside others, you spotted Lord Father taking a walk around the camp. He was talking to a few Orcs and nodding his head at their reports.

You lifted your head up and Adar turned around this very moment as if he felt some sort of a connection between you two. Your eyes met and he tilted his head slightly when you were giving him a hateful look before going back to work.

After a short while, you were being beckoned over by the Orcs to approach them and Adar.

“You!” One of them called in his filthy, raspy voice. “Queen of The Southlands,” he addressed you with irony. “Come ‘ere, Your Majesty,” he emphasised the title as the rest laughed.

You straightened your back and walked up to them as much as the collar around your neck attached to a chain allowed you to. It was not enough, so Adar took a few steps ahead to stand closer to you and examine your face. You could feel your hatred for him growing and making your fists clench around nothing.

“What do they call you, Your Majesty? I believe your name has escaped me,” he started.

“Maira, my Lord,” you remained polite to pose as a person full of dignity no matter what circumstances were.

“Maira…” Adar hummed to himself and furrowed his brows. “The name sounds oddly familiar to me.”

Of course it did, what an idiot, you thought. You named your human disguise after your husband’s true name. And perhaps it had been a mistake, you had just realised.

“Named after my great-grandmother, I was,” you nodded at him. “I wanted to talk to you for a while now, actually. About the way you treat my people here. They need more food and water, better shelters at night, especially children,” you continued your play-pretend. “But I don’t think you want to talk to me about that, am I right?” You sighed.

“My children work as hard as your people. We all start with nothing here,” Adar pointed out and you clenched your jaw at his words.

“Yet your children walk freely and we have collars around our necks,” you told him.

“There is a price one must pay for being defeated,” he pointed out and lowered his gaze at the place where your blouse was torn, revealing a small part of your scar.

Adar furrowed his brows and lowered your blouse down with his cold finger as a shiver travelled down your spine and your heart began to pounder.

“My husband would kill you for that, my Lord,” you threatened but he ignored you.

“Where did you get a scar like this? I’ve seen you back there on the battlefield and you fought well, my Queen,” he addressed you with sarcasm, of course, “and you seemed to be experienced in combat.”

“The scar is not from any combat and I’ve been taught how to fight by my grandfather, he was a knight,” you answered his question but he kept staring at your scar and tilting his head. Was it possible that he could sense the source of the old wound? He was an Elf after all and what had poisoned you forever now was made out of Valinor’s light. “Aye, my Lord, the scar is from my past when I was a very young maiden and didn’t listen to my mama as I wandered around the woods on my own. Don’t worry, I defended myself and you should see the other guy,” you chuckled nervously and Adar finally raised his eyes to meet your gaze but he still looked unconvinced.

One of the Orcs approached him as he kept staring at you suspiciously. He whispered something into Adar’s ear and you could hear the word serpent as you realised that the same Orc had been one of those who had captured you before.

Adar nodded at him and laid his eyes upon you once more, this time even more intrigued than a moment earlier.

“My children claim you pulled a magic trick on them,” he pointed out and you had a feeling that denying it would only make it look worse for you, so you came up with another excuse.

Actually, you realised that lying was not such a difficult craft. So far, you had been mostly relying on your husband to prepare the soil for your deceptions but now, when he was not around to help, you found out it was not that hard to do it on your own.

“My grandmother was a witch, they say,” you remarked.

“You seem to be coming from a very interesting bloodline,” Adar smirked and you sighed.

“You want to talk about my ancestors, my Lord? Sure, why not. I feel myself invited for dinner then, but is it not rude to keep your guests in shackles?” You raised an eyebrow and his facial expression hardened immediately.

“Where is your husband, I wanted to ask?” He finally inquired what he had called you for in the first place.

“The hell would I know?” You shrugged your arms. “What do you need him for?”

“To send him a message that I have you,” Adar explained. “What other use are you to me if not a bargaining chip?” He pointed out. “If he doesn’t come for you, I can kill you easily and get rid of the burden.”

“He will come back,” you assured him with a head nod as your eyes became serious in an instant. “I don’t know where he is but he will not forsake me. You can expect him any day,” you added. “Not only I was left behind, my Lord, but his subjects, too.”

Adar nodded at you and dismissed you before walking away. You, however, stood still and kept staring at his back with nothing but pure hatred.

“What are you staring at?!” One of the Orcs barked at you. “Go back to work, whore!”

“You have no idea who you have just called a whore,” you only told him before turning around and going back to other prisoners. The Orc laughed at you. “Scum,” you muttered under your breath.

The day was windy and dark – like all days nowadays in the land that Adar had renamed to be Mordor. Mairon quite liked the sound of it and he thought he would not change it. Unless his wife would insist, of course. You hated everything that came from Adar, therefore you could want to change the name and he would not blame you.

If you two did not need the army of the Orcs so badly, you would probably insist on getting rid of them, too. That was how much you hated Adar and his children.

A few weeks you had suffered at the Orcs’ camp while your husband worked in Eregion with Lord Celebrimbor – pretending to be worried and heartbroken about his wife’s imprisonment, of course – but now he was finally back to free you and to continue his plan.

He had not been actually heartbroken – he knew his Serpent Queen was strong and truly invincible but he had been worried indeed. Worried that your impulsive nature had given your disguise away somehow during that time.

After turning himself in he was led in chains, with a collar around his neck, to see Adar alongside other humans captured on the way. He witnessed some people being killed for refusing to kneel in front of their new Lord and some being marked with burning iron for choosing to follow the new leader. As a man posing to be their King and protector, Mairon had to pretend to be sympathetic towards their fate.

“The King of The Southlands turned himself in, Lord Father,” one of the Orcs pushed him to stand closer to Adar who had been squinting his eyes at the man in front of him. “Says he wants to negotiate.”

“Is she alive?” Mairon asked as his voice broke a little although he knew perfectly well that you were – his sweet (Y/N), he could sense your presence from miles away now.

Adar hesitated before giving him an answer, visibly debating with himself inside of his mind.

“Worried about the witch, are you?” Adar finally asked and Mairon gritted his teeth.

What looked like him being angry at Adar for calling his wife a witch, was nothing but his anger towards you for being impulsive enough to earn such a title amongst them now.

“What are you talking about?” Mairon asked.

“Nothing,” Adar shook his head and chuckled. “She is alive and a burden to us all. Her wicked tongue and her big mouth surely are. If you want to take her, I am not going to ask for much in return. I will gladly get rid of your Queen,” Adar remarked and the Orcs laughed.

Mairon moved uncomfortably. It was all a game, of course, but he felt real rage now at the disrespect these filthy creatures were showing to their rightful Queen.

“That is good to hear but I am here not only as her husband. I am here as the King of my people, too,” Mairon pointed out. “Let them go.”

The Orcs laughed again, which was something he had been expecting. Adar remained serious, though, and so did Mairon.

“...or yours will die,” he threatened, although as a human he was posing to be he could not do anything, of course.

Perhaps he shouldn’t be so angry with you for making too many hints about your real nature because he was giving in to the temptation himself now. It was simply impossible for creatures as proud as you two not to hint at your real greatness when you were forced to be humiliated by the circumstances.

Adar finally shook his head and snorted at Mairon’s threat.

“My people defeated the Men of these lands,” he said. “We defeated the Elves who came to their aid. We even defeated the allies, the Men from beyond the sea,” he stood up from his throne to walk up to Mairon. “There is no one left for us to fear.”

“There is one,” Mairon said to that, pretending to look hopeless and defeated. “Since Galadriel’s defeat, she sought out new allies,” he continued as Adar kept staring at him angrily but not without a hint of fear on his scarred face. “An ancient sorcerer and a Lady of Darkness, to instruct the Elves in forging a new weapon.”

The Orcs were visibly upset about the news as they looked at each other, worried.

“One you first told her about,” Mairon kept teasing to plant an idea inside Adar’s mind that he could be a source of his children’s demise. “A power over flesh,” he explained. “Do you remember those words? A power that will allow them to use your children as slaves in their army once more,” he finished his teasing. “I fled from them after finding out with whom the Elves wanted to forge an alliance,” he continued with the lie.

“Galadriel would never have anything to do with them. She spent long centuries fighting them and their evil,” Adar shook his head.

“Nothing brings people together as much as a common enemy. Perhaps she hates your children more than she hates them,” Mairon answered.

“Besides, they are both slain,” Adar chuckled nervously, trying to convince others as much as himself, therefore Mairon ignored that accusation.

“Set my wife free, let my people go, and I will tell you where they can be found, so you can destroy them and rid us both of their endless evil,” he made sure to sound a little frightened as well.

“No, Your Majesty,” Adar addressed him with irony as he moved even closer. “You will tell me everything you think you know of this sorcerer and his serpent whore now. Or I will spill the words from your throat.”

“If I die, all that I know dies with me,” Mairon pointed out. “You can’t kill me.”

“We’ll see for how long you keep that attitude,” Adar smirked before looking at one of the Orcs. “Bring her.”

You knew that your husband was back already, you could sense him for long hours now. However, you kept working as usual and pretending that you could not sense anything. The Orcs were already calling you a witch and you wanted them to think of you as an innocent village folk healer instead of a real sorceress with any grand powers because that would be too suspicious.

“You,” you felt a dirty hand grabbing you and turning you around as you nearly bumped into an Orc standing there.

“What is it?” You furrowed your brows, expecting him to inform you that you were free to go after your husband’s negotiations.

This, however, did not happen. Of course. Life would be too beautiful then.

You were dragged by the chain towards one of the wooden huts and thrown inside on the hard floor. You scratched your hands when you landed on it with your arms extended to avoid bumping your head.

“She is no part of this,” you heard a familiar voice and you raised your head as your eyes sparkled and a smile appeared on your face at the sight of your husband.

He had a collar around his neck as well and he was as dirty and bruised as you were, chained to a wooden pillar. You wanted to run up to him but the chain around your neck was too short to be able to reach him as the Orcs laughed and they chained you to another pillar. This way you could face your husband but you could not touch him and what a great torment it truly was.

It was surely a torment much greater than the physical pain they were inflicting upon you to make him talk. And while they kicked and punched you, you dissociated – staring blankly at the wall and being grateful for the fact you were a creature powerful enough to be able to mentally leave your body like this.

“Stop it!” Mairon begged in a raspy voice as one of the Orcs kept his head still, forcing him to watch. When you laid your eyes on him once, you swore, he even faked a tear streaming down his cheek.

“I’m sorry,” you heard his voice inside your head and it made you realise that the tear was not a play-pretend. Watching you being in pain was not something he enjoyed unless it was in your intimate moments – something rooted in love and mutual consent.

“I can handle that,” you answered. “What is your plan?”

“I will tell you when we are left alone by them. Can you endure a bit more, my love?” He asked, worryingly.

“I would endure centuries of that for you, Mairon,” you assured him. “I will, however, lose consciousness now,” you warned him so he would not be scared before you pulled the trick on the Orcs and forced your flesh to shut down, pretending to faint out of pain.

Enduring the pain they were causing you was easy. Watching them hurt your husband was worse even though you knew that his case was exactly like yours and none of the damage could truly take him down or become too unbearable. Watching his pain was still making your heart ache as you sobbed and begged them to stop while your head was being kept still and forced to observe like his head had been held earlier by them as well.

The Orcs were taking turns in tormenting you both and you already knew all of Mairon’s plan, which he had revealed to you when they had left you for the night, thinking you would sleep the injuries off, not knowing that rest was not something any of you needed.

One evening the Orcs brought a growling and snarling warg with a collar around his neck like yours and chained him to yet another pillar. He could not hurt any of you because of the length of his chain but they assumed his presence would make you more scared as they walked out laughing and wishing you a good night ironically.

“Aww, poor baby,” you sighed and leaned your head back on the wooden pillar behind you. “Look, my love, they keep him on such a short chain. It should be a crime,” you pointed out. “Shh, shh, sweetheart, it’s fine now,” you cooed to the warg and he barked at you angrily. “Oh, don’t be cross with me, it was not me putting you here!” You chuckled at him and took a look at your husband from the corner of your eye.

He was sitting up as well, leaning on his pillar and staring at you lovingly from between his ruffled brown hair with a soft smile.

“You’ve always liked them,” he whispered.

“What is there not to like about those big, hairy beasts that tend to bite?” You teased him with a wicked smile and he chuckled while shaking his head.

“Do you remember witnessing me like that for the first time?” He asked and you smiled at the memory.

“You stepped on me, my love,” you said and he laughed, therefore you pouted, “and I do not find it funny!”

“You were easy to overlook, my darling. You were a snake then,” he reminded you

“First of all, I was the most beautiful snake in the woods, so you should have spotted me immediately,” you teased. “Second of all, I was terrified, remember? It was the first time I transformed and I could not repeat it. I truly thought I would never go back into my old shape…”

“But then, a big werewolf stepped on you and you suddenly changed into the fair maiden that you are to scold him,” he finished the story. “My wife.”

“Your wife,” you nodded with a smile. “I recognised you immediately, my husband. I recognised you by your eyes alone even though they were yellow orbs of the beast but something about them told me it was my Mairon.”

“And you hopped on me and I took you back to the fortress and our master laughed at that, remember? He called me your dog then,” he chuckled as he shook his head but you frowned at the mention of Morgoth.

“I never liked how he would humiliate you,” you admitted.

“This humiliation I did not mind,” he said.

“This whole thing,” you looked around, “reminds me of the past. Adar treats us like our master once did – making me watch you being hurt and forcing you to witness my torment. Do you think he is inspired by what our master was doing to us? And now he is inflicting it upon… well, us?” You chuckled sadly.

“I… don’t want to remember that,” your husband winced as he leaned his head back on the pillar behind him.

“Forgive me,” you looked down.

“Do you know what pains me the most?” He asked and you raised an eyebrow at him. “That we will forever be known and remembered as his subjects. His followers and his successors. His shadows.”

“There is nothing else we can do. In Valinor we are no longer welcome,” you shrugged your arms, however the old scar nearby your heart burnt at the mention of your home where, deep down, you longed to come back.

But not without Mairon.

“They wanted to give us a chance,” your husband reminded you in a whisper.

“And you really think they would allow us back in on the same terms? Don’t be foolish,” you snorted. “We would forever be outcasts amongst them and they would never trust us. And we would have to bow our heads for the rest of our lives – bow them lower than others to remain in their good graces. I’d rather be known as our master’s shadow and forever wear the stain of being his property once than to bow down in front of anyone ever again!” You drawled out through gritted teeth with determination and Mairon met your gaze, a little taken aback by your outburst. “You are the only one I can bow my head to.”

“You do not have to bow your head to anyone, my love,” he assured you.

At that very moment you were interrupted by a filthy human working for Adar and the Orcs – he was the worst amongst all of these creatures because he was doing all these things not because he had to or out of his nature but simply because he wanted to remain in their good favours no matter what.

He laughed with contempt at the sight of you and your husband and by the stink alone you recognised that he was carrying food for you.

“Am I interrupting’ somethin’, lovebirds?” He asked, to which you and your husband said nothing. “Come on, Your Majesties,” he teased. “Not even kings and queens can go without food,” he reminded you and he had lots of reasons to because you both had been refusing to eat for days now.

He crouched down next to you, probably too scared to tease your husband or perhaps you were more pleasant for his eye. Either way, you wanted to make him regret that.

You did not enjoy being perceived as weaker than your husband only because you were a woman. One thing you had to admit about your master – he had never treated you any different because of your gender. The pain, the torture, the punishments, the responsibilities – you had been gifted the very same ones as any other.

“Why doesn’t he want to open up?” Waldreg whispered into your ear as you kept staring at your husband only, ignoring him completely. “Mayhaps he doesn’t care about you so much, does he? Mayhaps it doesn’t bother him to see you in pain, Your Majesty.”

You clenched your jaw at his words. He had absolutely no idea how much Mairon cared. How much he had been caring for centuries now. How many times he had taken your master’s anger on himself to protect you.

“Mayhaps he told you what he knew, huh?” Waldreg continued. “I’m sure he did. You tell old Waldreg everything you know about Sauron and Lókë…”

Suddenly, you turned your head around to hiss at him, letting out a sound the very same as any real serpent would. Waldreg got startled and jumped back before stumbling down and falling as you chuckled with contempt.

“Pain must be something you enjoy!” He exclaimed at you and threw the food on the floor as two Orcs hurried to his side to help him stand up.

“Oh, mayhaps I do,” you mocked the word he had been teasing you with before and you gained a kick in the face in return from one of the Orcs. Blood filled your mouth as you laughed and the warg next to you began to snarl.

“After Lord Father releases us, I’m going to kill you,” your husband told Waldreg when you were spitting the blood out of your mouth.

“Adar doesn’t even remember you two are here,” Waldreg laughed.

But you knew it was not true – you would never forget the look in Adar’s eyes at the sight of your scar. You were sure he was intrigued by you and your husband and you even had that unsettling feeling that he simply… knew who you truly were.

The Orc, still standing above you, raised his hand to strike another blow and you tensed your muscles, preparing your flesh to endure it.

“I’ll take it,” Mairon interrupted him. “Leave her, I’ll take it,” he pleaded. “She is my wife and I am responsible for her big mouth and her stunts,” he insisted.

Tears filled your eyes at that because he had begged your master the same way once after the battle you had lost – she is my wife and I am responsible for her failure. I’ll take the punishment, leave her, I beg of you.

The Orc looked at Waldreg, a little confused. But Waldreg shrugged his arms in return because it did not matter to him which one of you would be beaten – he simply enjoyed the act. Therefore, the Orc only growled at you before he approached your husband to beat him instead.

What you did not sense in all that mess was the fact Adar was standing nearby and overhearing the last few sentences, which had reminded him of the twisted couple he had known in time long gone now, yet still fresh in his memory.

Your flesh was of a human, therefore it regenerated quicker when asleep. So, some nights you and your husband allowed yourselves to drift off to the land of dreams. You had done that on the previous evening but you quickly regretted that choice because the dream you had was far from pleasant.

It was not a dream, really. It was more of a memory that you found yourself inside of once more – the long and endless road you had crawled with a bleeding wound in your chest, only to find your husband’s dead body abandoned in the fortress in the puddle of his thick, black blood.

You had sobbed and taken his cold hand into yours as you had laid upon his still chest, burying your face in the red fabric of his robe, stained with his blood now, still sensing his weak presence somewhere around the fortress but it had been ungraspable, therefore hugging his dead flesh had been all you could do. You had brushed his ginger hair one last time with a sad smile and had fallen asleep there, on top of him, sobbing and defeated. Alone.

When you opened your eyes, though, you were back to reality. And there was Adar standing above you, staring intensely. You furrowed your brows at him but he did not say anything and crouched down to remove the collar from your neck and set your hands free from the shackles before standing up again without a word. He walked over you to stand above Mairon now, waiting for him to wake up as well.

You sat up lazily, wondering what would happen now and your husband woke up as well not long after you.

“I was in your place once,” Adar said as you watched, intrigued. Mairon was still laying on the floor and staring at the ceiling. “In the eldest of the Elder Days,” Adar continued. “Thirteen of us were chosen to be blessed of Morgoth’s hand with the promise of power,” he crouched down to be closer to your husband’s face.

You looked up to exchange a confused look with Waldreg and one of the Orcs standing by the door to the hut. That small string of connection between the three of you in that moment was nearly funny if the situation was not so serious.

“A new birth. I was led up to a dark and nameless peak. Chained and left with nobody to keep me company except for a vicious serpent coming to visit me sometimes,” Adar confessed and the pain in his voice was raw and authentic.

You saw something glistening in the dim light and, to your surprise, that was your husband’s tear streaming down his cheek. You understood why – the first Uruks had not been the only ones that Morgoth had been torturing. Despite being enemies with Adar, you had a strong connection with him through the suffering you all had endured back in the day from the hands of the one you all had been calling your master.

“And after what seemed endless thirst and hunger…” Adar continued his story. “I saw them. His servants’ faces. Sauron’s face… It was beautiful. And Lókë’s, too, for she followed him everywhere. Her eyes… Those were the very same eyes as of the serpent that had been keeping me company in those endless days and I realised she had been the one to join me in my misery. And until this day I do not know if it was her mercy, her sympathy or her wicked passion for witnessing somebody else’s pain.”

You swallowed a lump in your throat, stopping yourself with every fibre of your being from telling him that it had been sympathy – it had been nothing but pure sympathy and what had been his repayment? Betrayal.

Although some part of you understood his reasons, too. It had all been for his children. Perhaps one day you would understand this kind of love as well but it would require you to forever bind yourself to your physical form and you were not sure if it was a sacrifice you would ever be ready to make.

“Lókë wiped the dirt, sweat and blood off of my face. Sauron offered me wine, red as a blood moon,” Adar went on with his story. “He offered me wine and on that dark and nameless peak, I drank it. I drank it all.”

You saw your husband glancing at you with his teary eyes and now your own eyes were wet, too, after being reminded of that day.

“Your wife is no longer in chains. Your people have been set free,” Adar announced. “Now, tell me what you know of Sauron and Lókë,” he demanded and your husband moved his head up slightly as his blood-covered lips curved into a smile.

“Sauron has returned in a new form and his lover forged herself a new flesh as well,” your husband revealed. “I am not yet sure what shape they have taken.”

“Then of what use are you to me?” Adar asked, angrily, while standing up.

“I have something you don’t,” your husband teased him. “The trust of the Elves. Release me, release my wife,” he continued, “and we’ll go to them and I’ll seek Sauron out, so you can marshal your legions to destroy him.”

Long silence occurred, in which you assumed Adar was overthinking the proposition.

“We want the same thing you do, Lord Father,” you whispered, your voice nothing but a shaky breath. Adar turned around to look at you intensely and you pretended to startle a little. “We want Middle-earth to be free of evil.”

It was no lie – you wanted nothing else. You wanted this world to be a good and happy place. Healed.

Adar took a deep breath in and eventually nodded at Waldreg, who walked up to Mairon hesitantly.

“Do you vow allegiance to Adar, Lord Father of the Uruks?” He asked, giving you a quick glance before looking back at your husband.

You waited for Mairon’s decision first and you could see how much it costed him to say that word even though it was only a game you two were playing.

“Yes,” he said.

“Yes,” you followed.

“Then kneel,” Waldreg ordered. “Both of you,” he turned his head around to look at you.

You moved yourself up on trembling legs, pretending to be moved and scared. Your husband was still in shackles, therefore he struggled to get onto his knees and it pained you to watch him so humiliated. You approached him to help him but Adar extended his hand to stop you from any further movement. You froze and waited for your husband to get on his knees first before you would join him.

And when he was on his knees, you felt Waldreg hitting your back and making you fall down upon yours as well even though it was unnecessary because you planned on doing that anyway. You looked up at him with hatred.

“Now, swear it,” he ordered.

It was all a play-pretend, you had to remind yourself. Being on your knees in front of a man who had betrayed you once was so humiliating, though, that you wanted to cry for real. And something about Adar’s proud and intense gaze was telling you he truly knew who you were.

“I vow–” your husband began.

“With your head at my feet,” Adar interrupted him and you looked up at him with anger before you began to follow his order before your husband even moved, still taken aback by such a request.

“Not you,” Adar stopped you. “Him.”

You swallowed thickly and exchanged a look with your husband before he eventually gave in and laid his face on the ground in front of Adar’s boots.

“I vow to serve the Lord of Mordor,” your husband whispered. To the end of my days… and his,” he finished.

Adar laid his eyes on you now, still kneeling as your thighs trembled slightly.

“I vow to serve the Lord of Mordor,” you bowed your head, humbly. “Till death removes me from the responsibility,” you added.

Adar nodded and walked away. Waldreg freed your husband from his collar and his shackles although he did not look happy about it. When Mairon was finally free, you cupped his face and leaned in to press your forehead to his before kissing him briefly with a big smile to be able to hold him again.

You were given one black horse you had to share but you did not mind it at all as you hopped on it to sit behind your husband and wrap your arms around his waist before pressing your cheek to his shoulder blade.

Very slowly he was leading the horse out of the camp and when you were on the hill above it, you heard a scream of pain from the distance. Your husband stopped the horse as you both chuckled because it was the scream of Waldreg being eaten by the warg left behind in the hut. The one you had tamed during your stay there and now you had your revenge on the filthy human.

And soon, on all of them.

“You know,” you mumbled out.

“Hm?”

“I quite enjoy our adventures as Halbrand and Maira,” you admitted and squeezed your husband tighter.

“We have been tortured for weeks now, my love,” he pointed out with a laugh.

“I know but apart from that… There is a certain charm to it,” you explained.

“Yes, I am aware,” he admitted with a head nod and ordered the horse to move again. “However, we have a work to finish in Eregion.”

“Do you have a new name already?” You asked him, teasingly.

“Annatar, Lord of Gifts,” your husband answered. “You?”

“Fëanár,” you revealed and waited for his response. “The patron saint of the fire… to spark a brand new inspiration within Lord Celebrimbor’s forge,” you explained your choice.

“Soul of fire,” your husband hummed to himself. “Bold one. I like it,” he admitted and you smiled to yourself, hugging him tighter, proud of yourself.

Proud and happy to be with him. Wherever the road would take you two.

MASTERLIST

#sauron x reader #halbrand x reader #annatar x reader #lilysfiction

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