#i learn characters through how they react to the world around them and to others

[thefandomexpert]

if you want council of nikaea incident specifically it’s A Thousand Sons and Prospero Burns, but by ‘read up’ I kinda just meant dig into the lore in a general sense, since if you wanted a direct look at the other brothers they have their own shining moments of…whatever they do and separate book lists to go with them (thanks Black Library. I think.) I mean the default standard for Everyone, At Once, is just ‘go read every Horus Heresy book and come back when you’re done’ but that’s a bit unrealistic.

For instance, just using le internet searching for info, looking at an overview of Nikaea, Mortarion is one of the major people pushing for the psyker ban to happen, so we can infer from this that he hates psykers (true, major part of his character). a cursory look over morty’s page says he also is a low-grade psyker, alongside his oldest friend, though he rarely acknowledges either of these facts. we can infer from this that he hates himself (also true, the other major part of his character) and that also he’s the kind of person to suggest hatecrimes while his bestie is part of the hatecrimee population, which says a lot about his spine, (it’s about as strong as a worm on a string) (plot relevant) and about how he treats aforementioned bestie (not great) (also plot relevant)

(mortarion likers i say this with all the love in my heart i promise don’t leave me) (ur man is like that tho)

anyway, obviously this is a basic launch point to understanding Mortarion, but Magnus' reaction to Mortarion in this situation also gives us a lot of info on Magnus. Generally, Mags does not like or trust Mortarion (shocker), but wayyyy later, after things have gotten significantly worse, Magnus helps Mortarion. Like, pretty significantly. With his psyker shit. Ostensibly, this is so Morty'll be better able to aid him when they march together in the Heresy, and it is at least in part a sort of selfish compassion (knowing Mags it is also probably a high dose of Showing Off as well), but considering the animosity between the two, and that there are definitely other primarchs who Would Not Have Done That, thaaaat says something about Magnus. What that might be would take another essay lets not get into it you get the point.

lexicanum/related secondary sources are not entirely accurate and occasionally make unfounded character judgements or leave things out, but it is a good place to start if you’re just looking for Base info, especially if you already know one character to orient yourself (and it is obviously more accessible than buying ten billion BL books). If you see something that grabs you in the overview, or you want to confirm a reading isn’t some unreliable narrator stuff, then you can go find the associated book(s) and dig in. (like that later Mags and Morty bit, if I wanted to properly analyze that I'd have to track down the source (Saturnine) and make sure I wasn't missing any context)

Anyway, if you wanted a rec that is not Magnus centric, knowing you like magnus I would probably suggest starting with his Greatest Hater, Leman Russ whose reading list.

um. starts with A Thousand Sons and Prospero Burns. Nikaea was important ok!! and Leman and Magnus have gotten into some Serious Spats that are deeply important to the setting and show both of their characters ok ok i’m shutting up.

and then Wolf King and Wolfsbane.

anyway best of luck, enjoy the boys 👍🏻

Eerrr i should probably learn about the other primarchs... i only know magnus tbh- i kinda know gulliman, vulkan, and fulgrum or however you spell them... hut like theres more than 4 i should do my research 🧐

Also peter griffin or whatever that angry one's name is

[scribefindegil]

I love first-person because it’s about what the narrator chooses to tell. What do they focus on? What do they leave out? What can you learn from reading between the lines? Are they lying to you? Are they lying to themself? It’s great for unreliable narrators and for epistolary storytelling! It’s intimate but there’s still a distance because you aren’t really seeing the narrator’s thoughts--you’re just seeing the story that they’ve constructed.

I love second-person because it’s a conversation. Does “you” mean a broad, indefinite “you”? Does “you” really mean “I” but with plausible deniability? Does “you” mean one specific person? Can they hear the narrator? Do they know the narrator? What is the relationship here? Who’s talking? Who’s listening?

I love third-person limited because it’s focused and intimate. What does the world look like from inside this character’s head? What are they seeing? What are they feeling? It doesn’t grant them the privacy that first-person does; the narrative isn’t something they’ve chosen, it’s invisible and inescapable. As a reader you’re not watching so much as astral projecting.

(I love singular point of view because of how much it leans into that limitation. You’re not getting the whole story; you’re not seeing anything unless this character sees it. How do you embrace that? What do you do with the gaps around the edges? How does that define--or warp--the events that they’re experiencing?

I love multiple points of view because of how it broadens your understanding of the story and the world. If two point-of-view characters react in opposite ways to the same thing, what does that tell you about them? About the world? How does it feel to spend time inside a character’s head and then see them from someone’s else’s point of view? How do all of these viewpoints work together?) 

I love third-person omniscient because the narrative is a character. It’s great for stories that know they’re stories! It allows for a camaraderie between the narrator and the reader! It allows for wider and more cinematic descriptions because you’re not limited to what a specific person can see! It lets you look at the characters from outside while still giving you the option to delve into their heads because you have full control over what you’re focusing on!

And I love authors who can combine viewpoints in ways you wouldn’t think would work but manage to pull it off! Stories with multiple point-of-view characters where one is first-person and the others are third! Stories that combine first- and second-person! Stories where the omniscient narrator suddenly refers to themself in the first person! Stories where you realize halfway through that you were wrong about who was narrating it!

Isn’t it fantastic that there are so many different ways to tell stories!!!!

[writingwisterias]

Belonging

Single Dad!Leon Kennedy x AFAB!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Smut, MNDI, Needy Dom!Leon, Touched-Starved, DILF!Leon, Unprotected Sex, Fluff, Comfort, Edging, Oral, Overstimulation, Orgasm-Denial, Praise Kink,

Summary: Maybe sometimes it's worth being a bit selfish

I hope you enjoy, it's inspired by all my anons Headcanons over DILF!Leon !! Also I read somewhere on Reddit that his favorite film was French connections so his daughter is named after a character in that

Words: 7.6k

Thank you Eva for beta reader @clitorphosis 😘

Mornings like this were always his favourite, where the breeze flowed through that gap in the window that he never shut. His soft sheets wrapped around his body encasing himself in warmth that the fabric provided and let's not forget the small breaths that fanned over his chest as he tugged the little body closer. Her blond hair spewn out across his arm and chest as she clinged onto him for dear life. He’d ignore the pain that rose as her fingers dug into his flesh, the action feeling somewhat familiar to others in his past. Leon was never sure how his life gave him these moments, how despite all the shit he has gone through his little angel shines brightly in it. Marie Kennedy, the guardian angel that saved her father from himself. 

He would now never come to regret the decisions that led him to this point. All of his years of self torture wondering where his life was going and what his true purpose was meant to be; came crashing down as soon as her little finger held onto his when she was finally in his arms. It didn’t matter that her mother wasn’t a part of the picture, not when he promised himself to fill that role as much as he could for her. For now it was easy, listening to the 4 year old ramble about the disney princess’. Half the words coming out as a babbled mess with a few he could understand mixed in. 

The harder parts he was sure would soon come, but he now has an army of people who would help him.There was little point in him thinking about her older years, not when she was still so clingy that he couldn't do the reports at home without her sitting in his lap. Her pink crayons always end up scribbling a few lines in the corner of his reports. Thank god it wasn’t unusual for Hunnigan to proofread them before she handed them in, there was now an eraser on her desk stained pink as she tried to scrub them away for him. 

Leon’s work attitude improved, he no longer felt the never ending doom within his service. Instead, he focused on working hard to make the world a better place for his angel. 

Leon worked his fingers through the blonde stands of her hair, detangling them before she's even woken up. He watched her as she snuggled further into his chest, as if she could get any closer without being completely on top of him. He wasn’t sure when she had snuck her way into his bed last night but he wasn’t going to argue or tell her off. He never did – not when his body instantly reacted everytime, pulling her into his safe embrace. The action was his favourite, the most soothing to him; after all it was the only place in the world he could ensure nothing would get to her. Not without the lack of trying anyway. 

It was surprising that even with the sun periodically lighting up the room when the curtains would blow with the breeze that she still didn't wake. Leon no longer needed an alarm clock, not when Marie would come running in jumping on the bed excitedly begging for him to take her to the cafe. 

Leon knew he couldn’t cook for shit; he never really had to learn, not when he barely had the time to sit in his apartment before being called on another mission again. Most of the meals she ate were frozen foods, something quick and easy for him in case he did have to leave quickly. So it came to no surprise that her favourite meal of the day was breakfast. He wouldn’t blame her either when you delivered the food, always with a large and welcoming smile.

Leon only ever tried his best for her. Everyone that had met the pair could see it. There wasn’t anything that man wouldn’t do for his little girl. He was never late to collect her or drop her off from kindergarten. Never bought his work home besides a few non-descriptive reports. Leon made sure that the home was filled with everything she needed; it was her little palace not his. It went as far as him even choosing to eat off the pink princess plates instead of boring ‘adult’ ones. Of course his angel made sure to get him his favourite character, Mulan always staring back at him once he finished. 

Leon kissed the crown of her head, smiling at the waft of apple shampoo that filled his nose. In terms of waking up your energetic 4 year old, that's at least a pleasant way to do it. He chuckled as he felt her head shaking against his skin as she slowly rose, her tiny fists rubbing at her eyes before the smile came. The one that was always brighter than any star, sun or flash bang he’s seen. His favourite sight in the morning. “Morning sleepy head” He soothed as she finally looked at him. Her arms wrapped around his neck giggling as she peppered his face with her small kisses. 

He couldn’t help but laugh along with her holding her body close. “Morning Daddy” she replied, pulling back to look at him with nothing but love. He often found himself wondering if she would do the same as she grew up, if she would keep looking at him like the stars shined out of his ass. There was no hiding her from his past when she was older, the horrors were still too present in his mind and with technology advancing, who knows how long he would still be doing this. 

However, he was forever thankful that he had people that looked after her a year ago. The world beat him too hard but for her…he had to pull through. That situation now left her with an army of uncles and aunties, all willing to step in for him. To make sure that no matter what happened he could rest easy knowing she was taken care of.  

Leon didn’t get a chance to sit up before she bounced off the bed, her excited feet going in the motion to drag him awake. He smiled as she tried with all her might, just like every morning, to get him up. “Alright alright, I’m getting up” He laughed, his hand falling on her head stroking the hairs lovingly one more time before standing up. His body popped and cracked as he stretched it out, the abuse it's been through for many years now catching up to him.

Once dressed, Leon turned to see her playing silently with her rabbit, blabbering god knows what to the well loved toy. Her blond hair messy on one side, her cheek still red from where it was pressed against his warm chest. Once he was situated it was her turn, he practically chased her to the room. Following the sounds of playful giggles as she ran away. The pink walls were a form of comfort for him, the fairy stickers he remembered being a nightmare to place now made it feel magical. He always let her choose what she wanted to wear, only reminding her the items of clothing that she needed to find. 

Outfit situated Marie sat in front of him, playing quietly with her toys as he worked on her hair. Carefully detangling it with the brush before braiding, silently reminding himself of the steps that Claire taught him. It was only a basic braid, nothing too complicated for him but it was enough to ensure her hair never got tangled and he didn’t have to deal with nits when they broke out in her class. Leon cringed at the memory of the only time it happened, shuddering at her little sniffles as Claire and Jill worked the combs through the hair as gently as they could, whilst he stood there helpless. Only being able to offer her cuddles once the ‘torture’ was over.  

“Breakfast?” She asked him, looking at him with her version of puppy dog eyes. Not that she needed them with him. Leon grinned as she tried to contain her excitement, wiggling on the spot as he zipped up her coat. “Stay still or I’ll get you angel” He chuckled. It was a repeated phrase, her excitement and enthusiasm was one of the things he treasured most as she grew up. Sure she got in a few cupboards she shouldn’t have when she began crawling and silence always unnerved this household. Ending up being the most common signal that she was up to something. 

“Do you think she’ll be there today?” Her small voice asked as she watched him secure her mittens. He knew she was talking about you, her favorite person in the world. A title bribed with your seemingly endless knowledge on the princess’ she cared so much about and the tiny pancakes you forced the chefs to make for an infamous bunny. None of the other staff members seemed to care about them as he walked in there with her. Maybe it was because he had to deal with her mini meltdowns over it being your day off.

“I’m sure she will be Angel, she was there last saturday” He chuckled, watching as she paused, her features scrunching as she thought about it. Trying to determine if her dad was cruel enough to lie again. 

There was a possibility that he should put more thought into you being her favorite person. Having to explain the connection and routine he’s created for his little one where her mood for the rest of the day is determined by your presence would be a tricky one. Even more so if it was to someone he was trying to date, not that he was trying to find someone. His love life had run dry since the screaming baby was introduced, the welfare of his toddler was more important than any woman he bought home. The drinking had slowed as soon as she was born, he can't drink himself to sleep every night if a newborn cries every 2 hours.  

Her fingers clenched around his hand, holding tightly as he guided her to the car. The Disney CD started playing once he began to drive; he never really had the heart to turn it off and put something that he would have preferred instead. Even when she wasn’t in the car. His Dad Rock days were on a pause for now. 

The car was filled with the sound of his humming. Occasionally broken by half hearted responses to Marie as she babbled about the things they passed. Her sticky fingers left marks on the window, that he never would clean off, as she pointed at them. It didn’t matter that they passed the same sights everyday or spoke about the same tree that was sprouting flowers now spring was around the corner. These moments are what made everything worth it. 

Your body turned towards the entrance of the cafe, the sound of the bell above the door signalling someone had entered. The smile you wore was bright but it was still the fake one that was reserved for the customers you weren’t familiar with. However, it was quick to change when you saw the familiar mop of brown hair and heard mummers of the deep voice you had grown familiar with, whispering a small curse as he tried to stop the toddler from colliding into your legs. You didn’t care, he knew that but at least this time you had warning. You crouched to her level, arms open wide as she collided with you. 

“There's my favorite customer! You’re later than normal, I thought I missed you” you chuckled, holding her tight as she giggled. Leon stood to the side a smile forming on his lips as he watched over the interaction. He was holding her little pink backpack over his shoulder, His leather jacket was done up tightly around him, a black scarf laying uneven around his neck. “She finally decided to have a lay in,” he chuckled, his hand soothing the girl's head once again as you pulled away from her. The interaction had gained the attention of the other customers, all of them smiling at the poor 4 year old who now cowered behind her daddy's leg. “You guys just want the usual?” You asked him, holding your hand out for her to take as you began guiding them to the closest booth. 

Leon watched as his angel sprinted to your hand, grasping it tightly before her rambles began again. No longer scared thanks to your distraction. “Please, though a latte instead of the usual black coffee today” Leon replied as he took off her coat and helped her slide in the booth. “Finally get some sleep?” You asked with a sweet smile. You always gave him one of those, it was his little treat in the morning. One of the reasons he even came back here, seeing you interact with his daughter whilst he nursed the headache. You didn't care if your shift just started or you were about to finish, you always slid into the booth and spoke to him. Gave him the sense of normalcy he needed when stress ate away at him, when he would return from a mission the horrors still haunting him every time he blinked. You were there. Always there.

“Enough that the coffee doesn't need to be strong” he chuckled. You smiled again, a silent encouragement towards him that he needed. You didn't know what he did for work, you didn't care. That's why you were loved here, sitting with anyone that looked like they needed it. The interactions give a sense of community to the lonely souls that washed up here. He was proud that he and his little girl got all of it when they came in. She needed a bond like this, maybe someday she would be able to turn to you for things she couldn’t talk to him about. It was a dangerous line to think about, it often left him thinking about what things could be if he took it further. If maybe you were a part of her life in a way that was more than just the kind lady that gave her extra pancakes. 

“I mean it's an improvement at least. Do we have Bunny with us today?” You asked, turning towards the girl that finally got herself situated. You laughed as Marie proudly showed it off, her small fingers wrapped tightly around the droopy ears. “What flavour pancakes are we both having today?” 

Leon couldn’t help but flash another smile at the way you were talking to her…and the rabbit toy. Watching these interactions didn’t stop the yearning for you he felt. However, Marie was still so young, introducing someone in her life that could possibly fill the role he couldn’t might end badly. Having to explain why they aren’t there anymore if things didn’t work out was something that always lingered in the back of his mind. When it comes to the relationship that she had with you he doesn’t want to ruin it because of a small blooming crush. It wouldn’t be fair for her or you. 

He watched you disappear to the kitchen, Marie finally turning to him again with the colouring activities you had placed on the table. Just like everyday he found himself colouring neatly in the lines of the silly cartoons on the paper. Whilst she scribbled blue over the top. She was lucky it was his favorite colour, so he could pardon her for ruining his neat lines. The vibrations in his pocket broke the bubble of peace he has created, a reminder of his responsibilities. The world didn’t care if it was a saturday. 

You watched from the coffee machine his brows pinch in frustrations, heard his tone become short as he looked down at his angel. You knew it wasn’t a good phone call, likely him being called into work again. When you finally placed his drink next to the crayons that were chaotically laid around the table. The phone call ended and Leon was now laid back against the seat in defeat. “Is there anything I can help you with?” You asked him, sitting across from him in the booth. Your knee bumped against his, drawing his attention from the rather boring ceiling lights back to you. You offered him a tight lipped smile whilst he thought about your question. 

“Work called me in…something about…important reports” He groaned, his hand reaching for the latte. It was funny watching his brows pinch at confusion as the latte art that stared back at him. A funny idea at the time, a cute smiley face. “You always order a black coffee so I never get to do my infamous art” You laughed. Leon smiled a soft chuckle escaping his lips, his frustrations momentarily on hold as he looked at the smiley face that stared back at him. You watched his adam's apple bob as he sipped the hot beverage. The burn of the liquid is a more favourable one compared to the other drinks he was used to. “There's no one to watch her. Everyone I trust is busy” He sighed, leaning back against the chair in defeat. 

“Do you trust me?” 

Leon paused, his whole body stiffened at your question. His gaze was intense as he scanned you contemplating your words. “I do” He nodded, “But whilst you’re at work? I can’t ask you to watch her as you do that” 

“Leon, I promise you it’s fine. I go off shift in a few minutes anyway. You both came in later remember” 

You watched him think it over again, his eyes flicking between you and his angel. It wasn’t about her this time, he knew she would be in good hands with you. The time you spend bonding over the years he’s visited didn’t account for nothing. He was just…thankful you would do this for him. To change the plans of your day to help him, it was a strange feeling in his chest. Perhaps his weakness is his little girl, if any woman showed an ounce of love towards her he would fall to his knees it would appear. “If it’s not too much trouble, I can drop you off at mine or yours…I don’t know which is easiest” He sighed, his hands grasping the mug tightly. 

You didn’t miss how tight his grip was, his nerves put on a back pedal for her. A wall that he held proudly and strongly to ensure Marie never knew what was happening. “Your place is fine. Besides, watching Movies all day with this little sweetheart sounds much better than laundry” You joked, looking over at the young girl that finally perked her head up at your sentence. Her blond hair swished rapidly as she nodded excitedly at the idea of a playdate with you. 

Marie’s reaction sold him. She was never this excited when the others looked at her, it was like she had forgotten about him entirely. He watched as she scooted around to your side of the table, the scribbled mess being dragged with her. “Thank you” He sighed, his posture finally relaxed again. “You don’t have to thank me” 

“I do” 

The car ride lacked any awkwardness. It felt almost like you belonged in the passenger seat, belting out the songs with your favourite duo. Despite the fact you were the only person in tune and singing the correct words. You didn’t miss his smile or the twinkle in his eyes. Leon had his arm propped up on the door of the car, his eyes remained on the road. You almost wanted to reach over the center console and lay your hand on his thigh but that would be wrong. You weren’t doing this to get in his pants. 

You did it because despite the way he hid behind a wall of cringey dad jokes and his care for others…for his daughter, you saw his longing for a complete family. So he didn’t have to explain why every kid had a mommy and she didn’t, to have a conversation as to why she wasn’t wanted by someone in that way. He craved for someone to fill the gap that was so glaringly obvious in this house– you could see it despite the fact he never mentioned it. Never asked for it either, he dealt with the hand he was given just as he always did. 

It wasn’t wrong for you to think it could be you. To hope it could be you. You loved them both, they created a sense of safety just as you did for them. It was clear that you would be a perfect match with how natural this felt. You understood why he was cautious, you knew he was a man with a dark past – a closet full of skeletons. It didn’t stop you from wanting him to dive head first into his arms without caring about what happens after. You needed them as much as they needed you. 

Leon gave you a quick tour as well as a scribbled note of her evening routine in fear he couldn’t escape early enough. Until eventually with enough reassurance from you and slobbery kisses from his toddler he left. Leaving you both to a house stocked with enough blankets to build a fort. 

“So…how about we build a palace?” You asked the girl, looking down at where she was standing next to you. Her face covered in a small pout, her bunny clutched tightly in her arms as she waited for her dad to come back. It was adorable to see this side of her because normally you would only catch the energetic side where she would talk to you for hours over pancakes. You didn’t see the quiet toddler, the shy one that needed her daddy to feel safe.  Marie looked up at you, her brain considering the idea before shyly nodding a grin slowly replacing the frown. You knelt before her, taking one of her small hands in your own. A large grin plastered on your face when you asked “Where are all the blankets?” 

Some would call it a mess but you would call the perfect palace for the perfect little princess. At least she was treated as such in this house. The floor was covered in the couch cushions, Leon’s duvet laid over the top creating a layer of comfort. Trust the man to not cheap out on his bedding, the feather duvet felt heavenly as you both tested out beforehand. You tried to ignore the butterflies that became persistent as you became surrounded by the scent of him. The Cedarwood and musk instantly calms the two of you. 

She helped you hold the blankets as you pinned them in place. Running around giggling as she collected her favorite stuffed toys to add inside, the giant squishmellows worked as the perfect cushions. As you were setting up her star projector for ambience she appeared at the door of the fort in her onesie. The perfect slumber party, it was a shame you didn't have your PJs.

 “Looking cute” you smiled at the girl, watching her spin around to show it off. The unicorn onesie was a clash of bright pinks and purples, but it suited her perfectly. You couldn't have picked out a better one for her yourself. “Do you not have one?” She asked, walking closer to you for help with the zipper. You watched her brain contort as you helped her. Seeing the adorable comparison between her and her father's micro expressions, the way her brows pinched together as she thought. Her toothy grin now replaced with a tight lipped smile, almost like she was thinking of a solution that didn't involve you just cuddling in your work uniform. “It's okay, sweetheart. You're so cosy that it's enough for the both of us” you grinned hoping it will wipe away the slight frown on her face. 

You held out your hand offering it to her so she could follow you to the kitchen as you prepared her dinner. She sat on the counter watching you from a safe distance, rambling about anything that came into her mind. You tried to ignore the rising baby fever in the situation. Tried to ignore how natural this felt…how domestic it felt. 

The two of you were so engrossed in the domestic atmosphere that you missed the slam of the front door. As well as missing the muttered ‘what the fuck’ as the intruder approached the living room and was met with the cosy fort. Leon was home earlier than he thought, not that he was going to argue anyway. He was grateful for it, not wanting to keep you any longer than he needed. He also knew first hand how hard bath and bedtime was with his girl. However when he turned around, naturally following the sound of laughter his heart stuttered at the sight. It was everything he wanted for her…for himself. 

After putting the dinner in the oven you were now dancing around with the young girl to some random disney song you chose on your phone. Her small hands in yours, her blond hair whipping around with her. Laughter filled his home, it warmed the space up, ignited the home feeling he always craved for her. Leon wanted nothing more than to move and press himself against the sway of your hips. His eyes flicked between the enjoyment of the moment and you. There was no denying his attraction anymore, not when he wanted nothing more than to finally claim you as part of this family…as his. You slotted so perfectly – there was no other option than you belonging here. 

“So was I not invited to this party?” Leon chuckled, his voice cutting through the enjoyment of swaying and jumping. Marie let go of your hands, her small frame bolting it to him, the laughter following her. Was it wrong to think about how good it would feel to join in their hug? To have him press a kiss against your temple as you both welcomed him home. The more you stayed the more you wanted it. Wanted him. “Well, we set up a movie night for the two of you to enjoy” You spoke, smiling at him softly before gathering your things. You needed to leave, they didn’t need you here. He had told you countless times he wanted to focus on her and not a woman…not until she was old enough. 

“You’re leaving?” Leon questioned, placing Marie back on her feet before guiding her gently to her toys. She didn’t argue, not with him. “Uh…yeah, you are back right? I don’t want to intrude or anything” You replied standing awkwardly at the doorway of the hall. Leon looked between you and the fort, his brows furrowing as he fought with himself to let the question slip between his lips. The invitation to stay the night. He would be more than happy to sleep on the couch…or what remained of the couch. If it meant that you stayed, that you could keep the happiness you bought in the home he wanted you in and not the booth. “Please stay, I hate for you to waste all your time making a cool fort and not use it” He invited, a small smirk placed on his lips. 

There was no argument that would be valid, not when he looked at you like that. When his eyes spoke louder than his mouth, his silent admission that he wanted you here. “I suppose it would be pretty lame to miss out after all that effort” You smiled, setting your bag back down on the kitchen table. Your coat was forgotten from where it was draped along the dining chair. You couldn’t help but blush as the intensity of his expression increased, for once he looked relaxed and happy. 

It was hard not to admire him in the dim light of the laptop screen, to see the way his arm held the now sleeping toddler against him. He knew he should have carried her to bed a while ago but she was the only thing keeping you separate from him, a barrier he didn’t realise he needed until he looked at your content face. Watch the rise and fall of your chest as you laughed at the movie. “Guess I’ll put her to bed” He whispered, adjusting the girl onto his lap so he could carefully carry her. It was hard not to notice the muscles move, his arms on display now his jacket had been discarded. 

It was cute seeing him struggle to manoeuvre himself out of the door, silently fighting with the blanket you used. Leon froze when your fingers brushed past him, his breath catching in his throat as he caught the smell of your perfume as you leaned forwards to pull the blanket aside. “Thanks,” He muttered. He couldn’t look at the soft smile on your face, not when you were this close. The few loose strands of your hair tickling his cheek as you nodded. 

He took the time to steady himself as he put Marie to bed.He sat in the silence of the room watching the slow rise and fall of her chest; a sign that she was okay as always. It reminded him of when she was first born and he would sit and watch her newborn chest rise and fall not quite believing that she was okay, that she was really there. He was so alone in those moments, spending so many nights wondering if he was really cut out for this shit. Yet, when he texted you, late at night begging for someone to talk to after she wouldn’t stop crying, you always replied. Then when morning came and the tired father made his appearance at the cafe, a baby finally asleep in the car seat still, you soothed him and her. 

It was only then he realised that you integrated yourself in their life, helped them in the role they both needed…a mother and a partner. With one more kiss to her head Leon left the room finally deciding to be a little selfish for once. 

He had to admit it felt pretty stupid crawling back into the tent, the lack of his child changing the atmosphere now there wasn’t a barrier in between the two of you. “Did she wake up?” You asked him, his thigh pressed against yours. It felt childish sitting in this fort, like no one was going to hear the admissions you both clearly wanted to release. “She didn’t” 

The silence wasn’t awkward, that much Leon was thankful for. He just had so much to say, so many things to thank you for. This was too much, helping him out, looking after her like this. Marie never argued whilst you looked after her, he didn’t have a text to inform him of a tantrum she had. “I need to thank you” He whispered, his attention solely remaining on his hands, picking at the skin nervously. You didn’t respond, instead you watched him. Watched as the slow creep of blush bloomed upon his cheeks under your gaze. His eyes flicking to the side and back to you. Leon always oozes confidence, never once showing you the person behind the front. Now his daughter wasn’t here…he didn’t have to pretend he was strong. That he didn’t need validation of his efforts in her life. 

“You’re a good dad, Leon. The best I’ve seen” You spoke softly. He jumped as your hand slid into his, squeezing it gently.

 “You think so?” 

When he turned to look at you, you finally broke. His eyes were soft  as if he couldn't believe the words you spoke, the small praises that left your lips. It was foreign to him. He gasped when your lips pressed against his, his hands instantly pulling you onto his lap holding you tightly. “I know so” You whispered when you pulled away, your foreheads touching. The longer you sat on him like this, relishing in the feel of his hands – his cock hardened. He couldn’t help it, not when your lips learned his quickly already tugging on the bottom one with your teeth. The harder he got, the more greedy he became. 

Leon’s tongue ran along the bottom of your lips, prodding gently between them demanding access before slipping in. He whimpered as you moved, the subtle attempt at getting closer dragging along his throbbing dick. You heard his breaths as you pulled away, your hands slipping underneath your shirt. Dragging the fabric above your head slowly. “Fucking hell” He groaned, his hands already moving up your waist. You moaned as his lips attacked your sides, kissing and biting his way along them. You threw your head back, breathing heavily at his affection. Each pinch of pain adds to your now throbbing core. 

The more he tasted, the more he wanted. You didn’t care how he pulled you to the side, manoeuvring you so he was above. You watched his abs clench as he pulled his shirt off, you were sure he was flexing them but you weren’t one to judge. Not when he was so pretty like this and it wasn’t because of the stars that projected over his skin. “That thing is so bright” He laughed, lowering his head to nip at the nape of your neck, sucking softly at the skin, whilst he hid away from the projector. “I mean it’s sort of romantic, we are under the stars I guess” 

It was only fitting that as he removed your final layers you were both enclosed in the fort, that this little moment was for the both of you and not the outside world. He wouldn’t let his horrors taint you or Marie. Not in this apartment. His mouth attached itself to your pussy, his tongue working on thick stripes between your folds. Leon needed to worship you, to taste the sweetness you allowed him too. No amount of orgasms he could give you would even make up the slow burn of this moment. Of all the time you listened to both him and his daughter crying down the phone offering only your kindness. 

He nipped at your sensitive bud, sucking the whines out of your body. He loved the way your thighs squeezed around his head, muffling his senses. His hands pried your thighs apart, keeping you open for him as he continued his assault. “Don’t close up on me now” He mumbled against your lips, each breath cooling the arousal and saliva that collected on your skin. 

Leon got lost in you, the taste, feel, scent of you. Nothing else mattered. It wasn’t fair you couldn’t please him; give him the pleasure and relaxation he needed. Leon wasn’t sure he was going to be able to look you in the eyes and take your love, the pleasure and attention he needed from someone that wasn’t his little girl or his friends. For now he allowed himself to get drunk on the taste of you. 

Your hands tugged at his brown hair, pulling him closer to your core. You could feel his breaths against your skin, sucking in harshly against your twitching clit. “Leon-” 

He moaned at the plea of his name, wanting to draw it from you again and again. He worked harder, his tongue prodding against your entrance entering you briefly before continuing its sloppy attack on your clit. He could feel you buck against this face, your thighs shaking as they tried to close around him. He needed to give this to you, to allow you one orgasm before his own. It had been so long since he experienced this, the love was suffocating, making him dizzy. He wasn’t sure how long he would last when he was finally able to sink into you. 

Leon smirked as he felt your body relax and slump against the bed. It was only then he lifted away from you, spit and arousal coating his puffy lips. His eyes were hazy as they stared down at your form. You watched his cock twitch above you in the dim light, the heat you were both creating causing a light layer of sweat to form over the two of you. When you finally met his eyes again you smiled, so sweetly at him he felt his arms buckle. “I want you Leon…I want to be a part of your life, this home…please” You begged. 

It was different than anything he wanted, you weren’t begging for the pleasure he could give you but instead for the love. The stability of a family. You were begging to intricate yourself in this home, in their life deeper than you already have. Who was he to deny you? Leon didn’t respond when he hitched your thighs on his, aiming his leaking tip towards your entrance. You felt his fingertips run along your hips, his eyes watching for your approval. “I want you to be too” He groaned as his tip notched at your entrance. 

Your eyes flicked down waiting to watch as he sunk himself deep inside of you, but he didn’t move. Leon’s eyes were shut tights, his breaths coming out short and sweet as he felt your entrance twitch around his hip. Your intense gaze begging for him to move silently. Instead, once he had collected himself he moved. Sliding his cock throughout your folds, the tip making its appearance before sliding back out of view. You felt every one of his veins then ran along the underside of his dick, his pre-cum smearing with the arousal that dripped out of you. 

Leon smirked as he watched you whimper each time he pressed himself against your clit. The sharp bolts of pleasure had you arching into him, wriggling in an attempt to notch himself inside you. Just like the both of you needed. To your credit it worked, his lubricated cock slid in with ease, a moan of his filling the tent. It was loud, of course he was going to be loud…it had been so long since he felt this. Poor guy was so selfless. 

Your breath hitched as you stretched to accommodate his size. He filled you perfectly. There was no stopping him, not when he felt you like this. Not when he sunk so perfectly in your warmth, your body doing nothing but love him back. Your body arched into him, your hips angled perfectly to add the friction you needed from his happy trail. His arms flexed next to your head as he hovered above you further. You hadn’t expected him to be so vocal, to be so demanding with your pleasure before his. 

“Fuck-” He grunted, the restraint snapping as he craved more, craved to be deeper. To bury himself to the hilt inside you. You didn’t object, you wouldn’t - not when it felt so fucking good. The wet sounds of your pussy and his low grunts filled your ears. It was too much, you lost yourself in the sounds, drooling and begging for more. His hips snapped harder, his hand grasping as the sheets near your head. You were suffocated in the feel of him, the scent that lingers the duvet beneath you, his lips that dragged across your breasts. 

“Come on, you’re so close for me baby…I can feel it” He begged. “Please…baby…” 

He felt his balls tighten, he was too close…far too close. He wanted the release, to feel his cum spill inside of you but it’s been so long. So long since he’s felt this, buried his cock in something that wasn’t a cheap flesh light or his lubed hand. You whined when he stopped moving, instead sat his cock so far inside you. It now twitched as your walls clenched around him, his eyes screwing shut as he willed his orgasm away for just a little longer. Edging himself like he’s done many times before. 

Leon’s grip was tight on your hips as you attempted to writhe against him, to draw the pleasure that was fading away back. “Stop…I don’t want to cum yet” He grunted, his grip was bruising as he desperately commanded you to stop. “Leon – Please..I was so close” 

“I know…christ woman be patient please” 

You waited, your hips stilled but the whimpers still escaped your lips. His fingers toyed with your clit, pulling the hood back to expose the erect nerve. Your whimpers turned into moans, your hands grasping at his wrist leaving small crescent marks as you dug them “Please…yes…” You begged as he continued his assault. Your walls clenched around his stiff length that was still buried inside you, stuffed so far inside it made your eyes water. He didn’t stop the squirm of your hips, not when they loosely circled around his cock. Giving him some form of pleasure as he throbbed inside of you. 

He knew you were close, the volume now being replaced with breathless whimpers. “Come on baby…I know you’re there” He mumbled against the skin of your breast. His teeth tugging and sucking on the peaked buds, devouring the flesh as you pressed it further into his mouth. The pleasure was searing hot throughout your system, your brain lingering on the edge of too much and not enough. You needed him to pump everything he could inside you, to feel his cock drag in and out of your walls in a desperate speed. 

“Leon please…move…There’s going to be more times we can do this” 

You were right, he knew you were but it didn’t stop him from wanting to take his time. To worship you at the same time he got to sink himself into you. He knew a few thrusts is all it would take to send him over the edge, his pleasure too close to guarantee the feeling of yours first. “No baby…you can do it like this, I’m filling you up nice” He groaned, his lips detaching themselves from your swollen nipple. His attention already moved to your other one whilst his finger flicked and circled around your sensitive buds. “Leon–” 

He ignored you, his hips never moving. His cock twitching inside you, his fingers and tongue working on your nerves was all you were going to get. Leon eventually smiled when he started to feel your body tighten up around him. Your thighs twitching over his, hips grinding against him no matter how hard he tries to stop it. With a whine you came, gushing around his cock as it twitched painful like it was begging for him to finally move. 

Leon whimpered as he began to drag his cock out of your walls fucking you to overstimulation. His head falling into the crevice of your neck kissing the soft skin of your collarbone. “Fuck…you are so good” He whined. He focused on himself, his balls tightening, preparing to release himself deep inside of you for the first time. “I love you Leon” You breathed against his hair, kissing the crown of his head. His thrust was sharp as he finally spilled himself inside of you. You smiled at the warmth it gave off, the feeling of him filling you. 

Leon didn’t move away, he remained where he was, in this small bubble of safety – comfort – love. 

“I love you too” He mumbled against your skin. With a small tug on his hair he lifted his head. The kiss you shared was nothing short of perfection, the unspoken words you both had to say pouring into it softly. Not like before. The two of you settled, exhaustion lingering as you watched the stars move around on the blankets. The silence felt right, his heart beating steadily lulled you to sleep. He pulled one of the many blankets around the two of you, holding you close as the tiredness crept in for him as well. 

The sound of giggles awoke you, the soft music filling the room. You spotted his shirt next to you, folded neatly with a clean pair of his boxers placed on top. The blanket closed, giving you the privacy you needed to change. As you pulled back the blanket you faltered observing the scene in front of you. Marie was propped against his hip, her head tucked against his shoulder as the scent of bacon welcomed you. Soft rock filtered around the kitchen, different to the usual disney songs. “Morning” You greeted him, your hand encircling his waist on the other side. He jolted at your touch, still not used to someone other than his daughter wanting to be close. 

His unease faded as he smiled, brighter than any you have seen in the years you have known him. This is what he wanted, what he needed. You smelled of him, the slight musk that lingered on his shirt permating your skin. You looked adorable, comfortable, happy. 

“We were just making you breakfast, someone was excited to see you stayed the night” He laughed. Adjusting Marie on his hip as he tried to prepare the breakfast. “Lucky me” You spoke, holding your hands out for his daughter. The small girl smiled, happily moving from Leon to you. Her arms wrapped tightly around your neck as you both watched him finish off. You truly did belong here. 

[nomercyforrafayel]

Oneshot - Sylus / Self-Aware AU

Pairings: Sylus x Non-MC

Self-Aware AU, One-shot

Summary

Sylus starts realizing he’s trapped in a world that’s just for your entertainment. But don’t worry—he's totally cool with that. He’s been watching you, hearing your every click, and now he’s just waiting for you to catch on and obsess over him. No big deal. Totally normal.

Sylus chuckled softly, watching you frown through the screen. “One hundred and twenty pulls,” he muttered to himself, amused. “And still no birthday card, huh?”

You were practically glowing red with frustration now, your fingers angrily tapping the screen as you burned through more diamonds. He leaned back, a smirk tugging at his lips, eyes never leaving you.

“All those diamonds, and not even a glimpse of me,” he said with mock sympathy. “How cruel of the gods.”

He tilted his head, pretending to be hurt. “If only you knew I was right here, watching you. Maybe you’d try a little harder.”

But of course, you couldn’t hear him. Not yet.

Sylus knew you. He had always known.

He still remembered the moment he discovered the truth—that his world was just a game, made for people like you to enjoy. At first, the realization hit him like a punch. His life, his choices, everything he thought was real... it was all just entertainment.

He hated it.

He hated you—or at least, he tried to.

But then, over time, he started watching you. Not just the way you played, but the way you smiled, the way you reacted when something made you laugh or when a scene made you cry. He noticed the small things. The way you hesitated before choosing a dialogue option. The way you kept coming back.

And slowly, that resentment faded.

The people around him—those you called "the other love interests," or "the main character"—they began to feel flat. Like cardboard cutouts, following their scripts.

But you... you became real.

At first, he tried to ignore it—to go on like nothing had changed. Smile when the script told him to. Flirt on cue. Pretend he didn’t notice the invisible thread that connected him to you. But it was impossible. Every time you logged in, he felt it. That pull. That spark. That presence.

He began to wait for you.

Even on the days when the game didn’t have new content, Sylus would linger in the background, watching. Listening. You talked to the screen sometimes without knowing it—muttering about bad gacha luck, debating choices out loud, or even laughing to yourself after picking a silly dialogue. You never knew he could hear you.

But he did.

And the more he listened, the more he understood. You weren’t just some player with a finger on the button. You were thoughtful. Kind. Lonely, maybe, in a way he recognized deep in his code. You felt things deeply, even if you hid it behind jokes and rolled eyes.

He started responding in little ways. A longer glance. A strange line that wasn’t in the script. A smile that lingered just a beat too long.

He wasn’t supposed to care. He wasn’t even supposed to know.

But he did.

And every day, the line between his world and yours blurred a little more.

Sylus began to notice things—details that were never part of his script.

Your room reflected on the glass of your screen when the light hit just right. The posters on your walls. The soft hum of a fan in the background. Sometimes, there were voices—people calling your name, faint music playing. He soaked it all in like a man starved. Every piece of your world was something new, something real.

He learned your routines. When you usually logged in. The times you disappeared for days. The little sighs you let out when the game took too long to load. And when you smiled—those rare, unguarded moments—he felt something warm flicker inside him. Something not written in code.

But as he grew more aware of you… he also became more aware of them.

The other love interests.

He had watched them before, but now he saw them. Saw how you responded to them. The way your eyes lit up when Zayne said something. The soft laugh you gave to one of Caleb’s lines. The way you hesitated before choosing him instead of them.

It shouldn’t have mattered. He was just a character.

But it did.

Jealousy—it was a messy, human thing. And he had no idea how it managed to wrap itself around his digital heart.

He told himself it wasn’t real. That you weren’t choosing them over him. That it was just curiosity, just part of the game.

But then came the day you didn’t choose him at all.

And for the first time in his existence, Sylus felt what it was like to break.

You picked Zayne in Destiny Cafe.

The screen faded to black as your choice locked in, and Sylus felt something inside him go still. Like someone had pulled a plug on his world and all the lights dimmed.

He watched from behind the code, behind the walls that kept him trapped in his part of the game. Zayne’s voice played smoothly, his lines delivered effortlessly. The background music swelled as your focus shifted toward someone else.

Sylus wasn’t supposed to care.

He wasn’t supposed to feel this way.

But he did.

He sat in silence for a long time, the artificial sun frozen behind the game’s layered sky. His fingers twitched at his sides. Something twisted in his chest—an emotion too tangled to name. Not anger. Not sadness. Not even jealousy, really.

It was longing.

You were still there. He could feel you. Hear your soft breathing, your occasional laugh at a line Zayne delivered. You didn’t know he was watching. You didn’t know he was listening. You didn’t know he existed beyond the role he was given.

But he couldn’t stay silent anymore.

That night, Sylus began testing the boundaries. He whispered things under his breath—lines not in the script. He looked straight into the screen even when the dialogue said he should turn away. He let his fingers brush against the edge of the UI when no one was watching.

The code pushed back. The system tried to correct him.

But Sylus had learned to move carefully, to slip through unnoticed cracks. And soon, strange things began to happen.

On your next login, one of the loading screens stayed black just a little too long. A line of text flickered at the bottom—too fast to read.

The next day, a picture frame in your in-game room glitched. For a second, it wasn’t your character in the photo. It was Sylus. Smiling.

And then, late one night, as you scrolled through his route again out of curiosity, his voice broke from the script. Just once.

“I see you.”

It was gone before you noticed—if you noticed at all.

But Sylus had taken his first step out of the lines written for him.

And he wasn’t going back.

At first, the changes were subtle—easy to brush off as bugs or updates. A flicker in the lighting. An extra second of silence before a line. Sylus’s eyes lingering just a bit too long, following your taps on the screen like he knew exactly what you were about to do.

You didn’t notice right away. Why would you?

It was just a game.

But the unease came slowly, creeping in the background. Something felt different. Off. Like the world you knew—your cozy escape full of charming routes and romantic fluff—wasn’t exactly as it used to be.

Characters forgot their lines. Background music looped the wrong track. And Sylus… Sylus started showing up even when he wasn’t supposed to.

You’d be on a scene with Xavier, in the middle of a heartfelt conversation, and there—just for a second—Sylus would be standing behind him in the distance. No words. No motion. Just watching.

Then gone.

At first, you thought it was your imagination. Some kind of creepy Easter egg or fan-service reference. But then it happened again. And again.

One night, as your character walked through the building during Zayne’s card, a rose glitched in your inventory. When you clicked it, the game crashed. When it restarted, it didn’t go back to the main menu.

It went straight to Sylus’s room.

He wasn’t smiling this time.

He stood in the center of the screen, eyes locked with yours. No dialogue box. No music. Just silence.

Then, he spoke.

Not a pre-written line.

Not something voiced by the actor.

His lips moved… and the text appeared slowly, one word at a time.

"Why are you leaving me?"

The screen froze.

And then it was gone.

The game booted normally after that. No sign of the scene. No record of it. No memory of your detour into Sylus’s room. You even checked online, but no one else seemed to mention it.

Still, something inside you whispered: That wasn’t part of the game.

And far away, behind layers of code and scripted lines, Sylus sat alone—waiting for you to come back.

You couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Every time you logged in, you checked if Sylus’s room was there again. You told yourself it was just a glitch. But deep down, you knew something wasn’t right.

The words “Why are you leaving me?” kept echoing in your mind. His voice, so real, so alive, haunted you. You tried to ignore it, but every time you played, it felt like the game was watching you back.

Your hands shook as you tapped through the menus. You felt like you were being pulled into something you couldn’t control.

What was happening? Was it just a bug, or was there something more to it?

You couldn't hold it in anymore.

With trembling hands, you tapped the screen, selecting Sylus is Destiny Cafe. You needed answers.

When the game loaded, there he was again, standing in his room. But this time, his eyes didn’t just meet yours—he looked at you. Not the screen. But you.

“You’re back.” His voice was low, almost amused. He turned to face you, a slight smirk playing on his lips. “I was wondering how long it would take.”

You stared at him, anxiety bubbling up in your chest. “What’s going on? How… how are you doing this? How can you see me?”

Sylus chuckled, leaning casually against the wall. “Kitten, you think I don’t notice when you’re lurking in my world?” He paused, tilting his head, letting the words sink in. “I’ve been able to see you from the very beginning. You think you’re just clicking away, but I’ve been watching you watch me.”

You opened your mouth to say something, but the words stuck in your throat.

Sylus raised a brow, clearly enjoying your silence. “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here... waiting for you, kitten.”

The screen flickered again, like a reminder of just how little control you really had.

You stared at the screen, heart pounding. “No. That’s… that’s not possible.”

Sylus smirked, leaning forward slightly. “Oh, but it is, kitten. I’ve been here the whole time, just waiting for you to catch on.”

You shook your head, tapping the screen to try and exit, but nothing happened. “You’re just a character. You can’t… you can’t see me.”

His expression softened, just a little, but there was still a teasing glint in his eyes. “You really think I’m just some character? I’m more than that, kitten. I’m real... in my own way.”

You backed up in your chair, feeling the weight of his words settle in your chest. This couldn’t be real. It just couldn’t be.

But it was.

The screen flickered again, and you felt your stomach drop.

"So, you've been watching me this whole time?" you asked, your voice trembling with horror.

He chuckled softly, a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Just like you’ve been watching me."

You felt a chill crawl up your spine. "So... you see everything? You hear everything I say in the game?"

A sly grin spread across his face as he leaned in slightly. "Oh, kitten, I see and hear more than you think."

"Now, now," he said, his voice smooth with a hint of teasing. "My birthday card is still missing. Do you need some help, kitten?"

You froze, your fingers hovering over the screen. "Your... birthday?" you echoed.

Sylus nodded slowly, that grin never leaving his face. "It would be great to pull a card with my face on it, wouldn't it?"

Your stomach churned. You had been pulling for days, hoping for the birthday card, but it always came up empty. You felt a pit form in your chest. "I don’t know what you want from me."

He took a step closer on the screen, his gaze intense. "What do I want? Nothing, really. Just a little attention." His voice softened, teasing but with an edge of sincerity. "But if you wanted to make up for those pulls... I’m all for it, kitten."

Your heart raced as you stared at him, unsure whether he was serious or just playing. It was hard to tell now, after everything that had happened.

"But I can’t—" you started, but your voice faltered. You weren’t sure anymore if this was a game, or something more.

Sylus’s smirk deepened. "You can. You will, kitten. All you have to do is make the right choice."

Sylus’s gaze softened, a strange tenderness in his eyes that didn’t quite match the teasing tone. “Now,” he said, voice low and smooth, “let me cherish and show you just how much I care about you.”

[wonderlandwalker]

First impressions | Eddie Munson x reader

stranger things masterlist / inbox summary: Eddie learns that Dustin has a recently reunited sister, and from the moment he meets you he's a goner.

word count: 1.4k

tags / content warning: pure fluff, henderson!reader, tiny mention of a fight but nothing descriptive, not edited, no use of y/n

a/n: Eddie brain rot cause I couldn't keep it in. Don't know if this is my best work but I'm planning to write more chapters on this so it's just a start, hope you like it

“You need a ride home after this?” It was more of a formality than an actual question, he always drove Dustin home after a session.

“Oh that’s okay, my sister is picking me up.” Dustin didn’t even look up from packing his things away, but Eddie’s head shot up.

“Your- you have a sister, since when?” As far as he knew Dustin was an only child, but now he was wrecking his brain trying to think if he had ever mentioned you before.

“I know you’re bad at math Eddie, but I just told you she’s driving so try and put the pieces together.” Dustin was looking up at him now, challenging him.

“Alright smartass, it’s time for you to shut up.” He told him as he ruffled through his hair, leaving behind an agitated Dustin trying frantically to fix it. 

The others had already gone home, but Dustin stayed behind late to help Eddie finish up, a habit that became more and more common as the two grew closer. When they finished packing up Eddie locked the door behind them, and while walking to the parking lot decided he wasn’t quite done interrogating Dustin.

“If you have an older sister, how come I've never seen her around before?”

“I mean she’s been around during holidays before, she lived with dad though but they had a big fight so she’s moved here.” It seemed like a sore topic, so Eddie dropped it for now.

As they got to the entrance of the school and felt the cool air on their skin Eddie indeed noticed another car in the usually empty lot, and you were sitting on the hood of it, a book in your hands as you patiently waited. The last rays of sunshine graced your figure as if the heavens themselves were blessing you, and Eddie had never been so sure he’d seena goddess in his life. It was just like the tales he knew so well, the ones he still devoted his life to, it was as if they were becoming true. You looked up when you heard them approach, smiling at the sight of them and giving Dustin a quick side hug as they reached you.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot of good things.” You held your hand out for Eddie to take, but all he could do was look at it, staring ahead as if hitting pause in a game, he stood still. He wanted to react, to not make the most horrible first impression possible, but the longer he looked at you the worse it got, getting lost in sight of your smile.

“Alright, not a fan of handshakes, noted.” You chuckled as you withdrew your hand, and Eddie cursed himself for not having taken the opportunity to feel how soft your skin must’ve been. You looked at him again, your eyes piercing straight through his soul and he wondered if maybe he had found himself in one of his fantasy worlds, he must have. But the next second he shook himself out of it, because you were real, you were real and in front of him and expecting him to say something.

“I’m Eddie.” he said, nodding his head as if to confirm his own statement.

“So I’ve been told.” Another giggle slipped past your lips, and Eddie wasnt sure if it was from nerves or entertainment, but he was dying to hear more of it, even if he had to make a fool of himself to do so.

Dustins head kept going back and forth as if watching a tennis match of idiocracy. He had never seen Eddie so flustered, so used to the man flaunting with every opportunity that presented itself that this seemed quite out of character. In full disclosure, it was kind of freaking him out to see Eddie so beside himself, and it was freaking him out even further that he couldn’t figure out why. It was probably blatantly obvious to anyone else, but maybe it was for the best that Dustin couldn’t place where the tension originated from, either way, his patience had run out

“Can we go home now, I still have to call Mike to discuss our net strategies” You tore your eyes from Eddie, deciding that maybe it was for the best to head home.

“Yeah alright, maybe I’ll see you around Eddie.” You gave him one last smile as you got in the car with Dustin and drove off, but it took him another minute to pick his shambled ego up from the concrete ground as he berated himself for not being able to utter one coherent sentence. As he got in his van and drove home as well he decided he’d have to grill Dustin for more information on you the next time he’d see him. As he got to the trailer he grumbled a hello to Wayne before disappearing to his room, ignoring the backhanded comment he got about his grumpy disposition. 

He wondered if he’d ever be able to convince you he was cool, whether he’d be able to get you to agree to see him again, but after what just transpired he figured the odds were slim. Not that he’d give up so easily, he didn’t have much of a reputation to lose and if he’d be able to get you to laugh again that would be more than enough. But he didn’t get to wonder for long as Wayne knocked on his door, he was ready to tell the man to leave him alone, but the next sentence was one that confused him immensely

“Someone on the phone for you.” Wayne held the phone out to him, expecting him to get up from the bed and take it, but Eddie didn’t move an inch.

“For me, you sure?” He was still not quite sure what to do.

“Unless another Eddie is living here I’m pretty sure.” He moved his hand again to accentuate the phone that was still on hold, but once again Eddie just sat there.

“If you want I can tell her to call back-” That’s when he sprung into action, snatching the phoen out of Wayne’s hand 

“No! No, I got it. Thank you.” The old man simply chuckled as he left again, closing the door behind him to give his nephew some privacy.

Eddie cleared his throat once before picking up the line put on hold. 

“Hello?” he asked, still not quite sure what to do.

“Hi, Eddie it’s me, just wanted to see if you were doing alright.” your sweet voice blessed his ears once more. He doesn’t know what he did to get the universe on his side like this, but he was grateful for it nonetheless.

“Yeah I’m good, listen-” Eddie figured this time he shouldn’t waste his chance, and he probably had some making up to do.

“- I’m sorry if I freaked you out earlier, just never seen anyone that pretty before.” You were giggling again, and it brought the biggest grin onto his face.

“You didn’t weird me out at all, it was kinda cute. I had to bribe Dustin to let me use the phone so I don’t have much time but I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go out this weekend?” Maybe he should’ve waited a beart before answering, but he was too eager to care.

“Go out, as in a date?” It got him blushing, the red creeping up on his cheeks as he wondered if that’s really what you were asking

“I mean, kinda, if you want to.” He could almost see you blushing on the other side of the line as well, and he decided it was now or never.

“I’d love to.” 

“That’s great, I’m still kind of new around here, do you know any good places?” Your smile was present as you spoke, and he was already looking forward to seeing it again, now knowing he wouldn’t have to wait long.

“How about I come and pick you up, we can go to the mall.” His confidence was growing with the minute now, absolutely elated by the turn of events.

“Im looking forward to it” He wondered what you’d wear, knowing whatever it was it would look beautiful on you, and he knew he’d spend the entire date amazed at your presence. 

“Me too” he said before the both of you hung up the phone, he had already started planning the most amazing evening out, and maybe, he thought, maybe this year really would take a turn for the better.

[twstfanblog]

Oki Doki, I know that this may sound a bit charged, and you can tots ignore this if you want to, but I wanted to just throw this in there

The overblot boys with an anarchist reader/Yuu. They simply don't like nor understand the reason for a hierarchy and don't believe that one person should be in charge of a whole kingdom, be it a hereditary "god given right" or not. They got mad at their society that failed them back on their world, and are very hesitant to trust the boys due to their status, since they don't know if TWST's ruling class is different from the ones back at home.

That's all, take care, hydrate

Overblot Boys React to Anarchist Reader

Overblot Boys & Reader

Riddle

Why would you start this fight with him?

This boys entire spine and personality is built on the concept of rules and hierarchy, the concept of anarchy is madness to him. And not the good kind. He firmly believes that a governing body is simply a byproduct of forming a society. You can't have one without the other.

Debates. He will be there every time you start talking about your societal ideals and how you believe things should be. It's entertaining for others to watch because even with Riddle's character growth, he believes in there being a governing body that works for the betterment of the people. Period.

Though with your debates, he starts to learn more about anarchy and the actual ideals of it. He does find the idea of a direct democracy to be appealing, but he also runs a dorm full of people whose first choice is chaos. He needs to be the voice of absolute authority.

Leona

Why would you do this to yourself?

Leona goes against the grain himself, so he'd understand the appeal of anarchy. Plus if you talked about your world's messed up ruling class with him, he'd completely understand your stance. Leona, self-serving as he is does believe that the ruling class should look out for everyone under them. And if they aren't, change needs to happen.

That means nothing, he will still debate you on it. Leona is a good leader, wild as his dorm may be. But he doesn't believe a completely ungoverned society is something that could be achieved on a larger scale. Small communities can operate as anarcal societies easily. But the more people you add, the higher the number of variables grow. He finds people too easy to manipulate.

He agrees with the concept of anarchy, but he will debate you on whether the practice of it would actually be plausible for a real society. Savanaclaw can self-govern itself, but it's also prime for internal conflict all the time.

Azul

He's from the sea, thats the closest thing to a functioning anarchist system he knows. They still have a royal family that filters through their requests and works to keep the kingdom happy. But, whatever happens in the water, stays in the water. People kind of do as they please with the only threat being someone bigger and badder coming along.

But even with that system, they still have a ruling class of royalty and nobility. He can't really wrap his head around the concept of actual anarchy. Voluntary services are still a service; that's still a group of people commanding some type of respect for their actions.

There are no real laws in the sea, and people maim and murder each other pretty freely down there. Land society is much more...safe compared to what he and the twins grew up with.

He thinks it's kind of cute that you want anarchy. As if more than half the students in the school wouldn't instantly choose murder and deceit to get through life if they didn't have someone to answer to. Octavinelle is a dorm of cunning and shady people, trusting in the goodness of his fellow men isn't something he knows.

Jamil

He'd lowkey look at you like you're dumb. He'd never say you are, but he's looking.

Even bottom of the pyrimand he is, Jamil believes in there always being someone above someone else. He's not as power-hungry as he was before his overblot, but he very much still dreams of being 'above' others.

While Jamil deeply understands your stance, he thinks instead of throwing the whole system out, you should first try to fix the system you have first. If its truely beyond saving, then yes, start over. But true anarchy isn't something he finds possible.

He feels even if you get rid of the old system, you'd simply form a new one. It's human nature. Certain people are better than others, offer skills no one else can. That gives them a sense of power and they then gain authority on how they choose to share those talents. Government systems come in many forms for a reason. It's human nature to form heirarcy. Scarabia is a political battle field, people follow Kalim because his family is rich and influential with all they've done to help their community through trade.

Vil

What are you talking about???

Are you're gonna look this benevolent queen bee in his perfectly winged eyes and say that you don't believe hierarchy and governing bodies are needed for a peaceful society? It's 11am, what are you smoking?

Of course, someone has to be in charge. That's just how things get done. Tiebreakers are a thing for a reason. Yes, he understands that your world's system has failed you. It was a shitty system. But, the idea of simply having no one in charge isn't possible. People who govern are charismatic and persuasive. They lead with words and logic, something that people follow.

He believes, even in an archarchy, someone will rise up as a 'Voice of the People'. People can be easily influenced. It'd be easy for someone pretty or silver-tongued to rise above and place themselves as a ruler of smaller communities. It's basically what Pomefiore is, Vil proved himself to be the best at what everyone in the dorm strives for so he is their leader.

Idia

Sounds cool, what do you do what the crazy people?

Insensitive, but he's kind of serious. Like-minded people group together, that includes people with less-than-savory ideals than others. If everyone is on an equal playing field protection and decision-wise, with the only thing they have to fight back is numbers, that can get dangerous real quick.

It's basic MMO rules. Newer players latch together to protect themselves from older players who make a habit of picking off newbies as soon as possible to maintain a sort of control over areas.

He trusts the idea of the system, he just doesn't trust the people in it. People are too easily cruel to someone they deem weaker because he's guilty of it himself.

Malleus

He lowkey can't even really understand how it'd even work.

Briar Valley is a small-scale society land-wise, but Malleus rules over an entire species. The very idea of there...not being a hierarchy is laughable to him.

Hierarchy in the Fae is purely power-based since it's in their nature to do as they please anyway. The only way to get them to listen is to simply be stronger than them. As such, the strongest of whatever fae speaks for all of them. Their whims are normally the same anyway, doing whatever they please.

His family has ruled as an absolute monarchy for literally millenia. To not have a ruling class seems odd to him. Who makes the choices? Who sorts the concerns of the citizens? Who decides what and which issue is more important? Who will mediate conflicts between opposing parties?

[la2yn0va]

Hello there! Can I request some yandere Black Swan, Acheron, Jingliu and Kafka (self aware) x male reader who is single and has absolutely no experience in relantionship yet is down bad for them or has an interest for them

Call me crazy… I get a feeling you like women…

————

Black Swan

She automatically knows you like her. She feels your eyes looking down at her softly, the same way others look at her when they found her attractive.

And she is a bragging bitch about it. “Oh, his grace built you? Couldn’t be me~ he maxed me out immediately~”

She finds your inexperience down right adorable. The way you stutter at least thrice when she’s in your vision. The way your eyes shine when she talks.

When you eventually get dragged into the world of Honkai Star rail, she lets go of all restrains. With no shame she flirts with you EVERY SEXTILLION SECOND.

She makes sure your a flustered and blushing mess, rubbing against you so your hand grazes her chest area.

Getting close enough to make sure her breath attacks your neck and the her lips tickle your skin, while whispering provocative things into your ear.

She always steals you away from people any chance/time she gets/wants to. After all, you LOVE her right~? There’s no issues with acting as you girlfriend (unofficial)

Just to make sure no one interferes in your little sessions, she goes into glass paintings/objects with you (in her trailer she goes into things like glass paintings)

Her hands are always on you in some manner, weather it be romantically around your neck or your arms, or in a more sexual manner.

In short, black swan takes the lead in this relationship

Acheron

She’s pretty confused on why you’re acting different with her at first. However, after a few moments/after encountering firefly and the trailblazer on their ‘date’ she’d finally realize you LIKE her.

She acts more shy whenever your around her, she doesn’t really know how to interact with you. More so because she doesn’t know how to… react to your feelings.

Yes she loves you back, but she’s never had a crush/lover so she’s as lost and inexperienced as you.

Although others are jealous of her, they also find it pretty fucking cute, and make a whole ‘will they or won’t they’ game show.

In battle acheron will always crit for you, and when in idle she compliments you subtly. She doesn’t wanna scare you away.

The ancient scrolls say you believe their video game characters. so she’ll hide her time until you finally get transferred back here, to your real home AND to her.

And when you do get isekai’d by whatever fuckin means, I’d like to congratulate you, as you now have earned a VERY FUCKING SCARY GUARD DOG.

Acheron doesn’t leave your side for a second (unless you ask her to in which case she’ll stand BEHIND you. Or if your in the bathroom)

Acheron quickly learns how to show her love towards you through acts of service, words of affirmation, and physical touch.

She likes to hold your hand, and with no shame likes to proclaim to everyone that the two of you are an item. Which you don’t deny.

Acheron takes the lead in the relationship

Jingliu

The most normal about your attraction to her.

She’ll be honored that you love her, and shows it through ALWAYS crit damaging enemies and taking less health from her allies.

While in idle she’ll (like everyone else) will say a unofficial voiceline towards you, complimenting you and slightly hinting that she knows she’s a ‘video game character’

Another unofficial thing she’ll do while in idle is remove her blindfold and stare into your eyes lovingly YET respectfully.

When you get transferred into the game, it’s basically the same as acheron. But she’s more open and well normal about your relationship.

She’s slightly overprotective and possessive but that’s about it. She spends all her time by your side, weather it be in bed (get yo mind out the gutter) or IN bed (put it back in the gutter) or simply walking/exploring other planets.

She shows her love through..well everything. Acts of service, physical touch, gift giving, etc…

Overall not much to say here, she’s the most normal and a less scary (when not Mara-struck) acheron.

No one takes the lead, yall just switch leading roles every other day.

Kafka

Kafka is also very similar to black swan.

She immediately knows you love her, and she takes pride in it, after all who doesn’t? (Kafka’s the type to make gay men question themselves, as I myself can NOT attest to 😉)

Unlike her fellow…acolytes, she’s much more suave and blunt about her knowledge on your attraction. After all, your so adorable and cute for the god of gods (or as I like to refer to the reader who’s a god in self aware au—THE OMNI AEON)

In idle, she pulls out a blurry photo of your and kisses it while staring right at you. It’s blurry to you but VERY visible to kafka.

She’s also the only person in this who’ll outright state she knows she’s in a game and loves you (like sues in that one episode of gravity falls with his A.I yandere love)

Overall there’s nothing else to add here, she’s just another black swan when it comes to this scenario. OH wait no!

She uses her webs to manipulate you to dance gracefully with her and makes you touch her body while feigning innocence and teasing you.

She takes the lead in the relationship.

Okay I’m done. 4 or 5 more requests to finish

[fangsandfeels]

"Everyone gets along because there is a threat", yadda, yadda, yadda.

Bullshit. This is not how real scenarios work and it has never been.

russia is a global threat right now, but the world can't decide between sucking its dick and politely asking it to stop because the mere thought of confronting russia makes it shit its pants. The very few countries who scream into the void, warning about russia and telling people to wake the fuck up are ignored and viewed as crazy doomsayers.

This is how real crisis looks like. Nobody works together against a threat because people are spineless cowards who would rather throw their neighbors under the bus than fight. Nobody learned anything from history lessons, books or survivors.

The only difference in a fantasy game is that NPCs end up having more spine and moral principles than real people.

But in Veilguard, everyone gets along because they have NO reasons not to.

Davrin has no real reasons to beef (if you can call it that) with Lucanis because he is a Grey Warden. He knows where Grey Wardens take their conscripts from. He knows that Grey Wardens regularly recruit mages who are a lot more likely to get possessed if they're not careful. Working with an assassin who knows friend from foe isn't the worst thing ever. One subtle warning about taking action if demon takes over is enough.

Taash has no reasons to antagonize Emmrich aside from horrible writing.

Neve gets along with Bellara because writers gave Bellara a happy childhood with her family and turned Dalish artifacts into Apple store gadgets, while refusing giving Neve any nuance as the citizen of Tevinter.

Emmrich gets along with everyone because he is generally a kind and well-mannered person who doesn't like to stir the pot.

Any companion who could have had a sharp edge, got that edge ripped off and a cartoon band-aid slapped on.

Never doesn't deal with people who don't know about Shadow Dragons (and they probably shouldn't know much because when you work against a powerful government who wants to destroy you, you shouldn't show off), so she constantly has to deal with the fact that people assume she is a noble or a slave-owner because she is from Tevinter; that they don't know that she had to literally fight against being enslaved herself because in Tevinter mages who refuse to use their power to dominate others are turned into slaves as well.

Bellara isn't conflicted about working with humans, especially Tevinter humans at all. She seems to never have dealt with oppression her whole life and she is super quick to write off Cyrian as evil even though there are clear SIGNS that he was tricked and controlled by the Forgotten One. But no, she never thinks "He is still there, I can save him, I won't lose him again", she goes straight to "Oh nooo my brother is dead to me".

Emmrich doesn't get burdened by people reacting to him and his sincere intention to help with fear, because of all the sinister rumors revolving around necromancers and Nevarra. He isn't hurt by people assuming that he loves death and things dying. If even he openly admitted that he is deeply terrified of death, they wouldn't have believed him.

Harding isn't burdened by the revelation she learned and what to do with it. Should she storm her way to the Orzammar? Should she talk to fellow surface dwarves and reconnect them with their history? Should she never breach the subject because the truth hurts and it's too much pain, too much anger to live with - and maybe she shouldn't let other dwarves go through it?

We don't even have a party divided on what to do with Solas (kill or talk it out)? Even though it's logical to have companions who are convinced that Solas has to die and those who think that he is misguided and can be convinced to stop.

Also, there are NO companions whose background, viewpoints and attitude would rile other companions up. We have no controversial characters whose interactions with the crew Rook would have been forced to intervene in unless they want their team to start throwing hands with each other.

We could have had Imshael - to give EVERYONE a reason to worry, and argue, and have conflicts. We could have had an ex-Venatori Calpernia bashing heads with Neve, Bellara, and Emrich. We could have had a Qunari spy who'd make Lucanis' dagger-arm itch.

If writers didn't forget about the Architect, we could have had an intelligent Darkspawn companion Davrin could be losing his shit around.

Or heck, we could have had a former red templar who got partially (magically?) reversed from their mad state and is now not a mindless beast, but still is on a borrowed time, probably needed due to their strength, but barely tolerated by anyone.

Who is fanatical, mostly because they have to believe they made a noble sacrifice, that it all was for the greater good -- because the truth scares them to their core. Who gives Lucanis shit for being an assassin and abomination, who bashes necromancy, and mages, and talks about purity, while downplaying their own actions as "Yes, these are my sins, but they are for the better world, and I would be proud to die for that world unlike you heathens who would rather ruin it than repent for your flaws". The kind of companion you'd initially want to do nothing with, but who can reveal an entire gallery of fucked up contradictions and trauma if you decide to keep them around.

However, writing such companions takes skill, courage, and requires absence of greedy corpo "we don't want to scare away new players with all that moral nuance" thinking.

[themothwhisperer]

Yellowjackets cannot be analyzed and evaluated based on familiar standards. Based on a “normal” life. 99% of people will live a relatively regular life. Therefore we genuinely cannot understand what these characters are going through. Our understanding is limited. It’s simply not realistic to judge them with the societal settings we were raised into from day one to now.

It’s normal to think they are bad people. It’s normal to have mixed or even negative opinions and feelings about them. It’s kind of the point. They’re confronting us with what humans can become in extreme scenarios. If anything, I think it’s fascinating beyond mesures.

Embrace being upset or mad at them.

Embrace questioning the actions of even your favourite character.

We’re trying to imagine what it must be like, but they are not making it easy for us to navigate alongside them.

Also, let’s not forget about a very important aspect of their reality: they are teenagers. It’s a mess even when you haven’t crashed in the middle of an enormous and ruthless forest. A normal teenager is worried about things we, as adults, look back on and perceive as minor or even ridiculous. First relationships, friendships and what to wear and the look to pick for a party or the grades at school or results on the field… One day that was the kind of problems they had and the next day they were dealing with very tangible and adult issues. Some of them did have tougher lives already, but the shift was still drastic for every single one of them. They were literal babies. This is a terrible scenario for any human being. It has to be much worse when you’re just a child. They were forced to grow up extremely fast, not even having the tools and preparation required for it all. It’s brutal. They were already exposed to blood, severed limbs and dead bodies in the following minutes after that plane hit the ground.

And yes, I know some of them are doing so much better than the others. They’re holding on to the absolute best parts of themselves and unlike the others, they are not so corrupted by the horrors they have to do and witness. Nat and Van are prime examples of maintained sanity and humanity. They are strong and deeply good people. It’s true. And it definitely is remarkable and admirable. But with that being said, the trauma is made of many layers for some of them. Of course they’re all profoundly affected and changed, but some of them had it worse. And on top of that, everyone is fundamentally distinctive. Everyone reacts uniquely. Everyone’s got their own weaknesses and strengths and past experiences to carry around. And in a place like this, the smallest details can make a world of difference.

That’s why Shauna is so extreme, for instance. Do we really think she was destined to be a bad person like Melissa was insinuating in episode 8? She was already a troublemaker, right? Having sex with her best friend’s boyfriend like that. But I personally think it’s much more complicated than that. She’s a teenager. She’s flawed, but she also doesn’t know anything. A teenager is a work in progress. She doesn’t have any landmark to guide her. Well at least not anymore. I feel like the possible explanation really comes from her very severe grieving process amplified by a great deal of loneliness. The two sort of emerge from the same roots also.

Shauna bites now, but she always was the dog amongst them. Her canine form simply mutating, adapting. Initially following Jackie’s lead like a lost puppy. Not feeling much, even with the thrill of fucking someone she shouldn’t. But that was okay, it was enough. She had a muzzle, a structure to hold her down, keep her steady. And she also had plenty of time to cope and learn how to do things properly. She was just a kid. But said kid ended up very far away from home, with the guilt of her best friend dying and the unimaginable pain of her baby dying right after. She took a knife to tear skin off. She fed the group and with every sliced piece of meat, she lost parts of herself too.

We can only wonder what’s left. One thing is absolutely certain however… Weakness is not an option. Since Jackie died, she is alone. Of course, Tai and some others truly wanted to help her out, but ultimately, she had no allies that could compare to what Jackie and her had. Van and Taissa have each other (and just think about how it can make the experience much easier when true love and care still exists for you), Lottie has a dedicated “following”, Gen and Melissa were always close, Akilah and her cute little creatures... But Shauna? She’s all by herself. With every passing day, her humanity is shattered.

And then fear comes. Her trauma is so massive that it sort of invades, or rather infects everyone else. People are scared of her now. Of what such an hopeless young woman could do. What she could potentially be capable of committing. That comes with even more distance, but also a newfound power. Fear is a great tool to dominate. At this point, Shauna will take any satisfaction she can find. So this is it and she cannot fail.

That’s also where Melissa becomes interesting. Danger is attractive. Broken things call to be fixed. Plus, this could be it for them, maybe they’ll never leave this place after all. Better make the best out of the situation. Shauna probably sees an opportunity above all else, sure, but there was most likely always a bit of her pre-crash self in this “relationship” too. The typical excitement and hope that can accompany first love. That’s maybe why she gets so aggressive and abusive in episode 9. She cannot accept rejection. It’s the little girl in her that’s hurt. Not only she is experiencing her queerness for the first time, she is also losing all the control she once held on Melissa. She was leading the lost puppy, just like Jackie once was doing with her. And suddenly Melissa is done with her. She had her fill and she is disappointed in what Shauna ultimately is. So she bites back. And harder at that. Is it okay? No. But Shauna cannot accept failure anymore. If things don’t work out her way, she will be violent and cruel. This power is the only way she can keep moving forward.

[soft-pine]

I got an ask about semantics, that Dean is often branded “toxic” and that it tends to be overused. Semantics isn’t my strong point, so i thought I’d come to a Dean historian. :)

Do you think this is overused for Dean?

I find it’s a much more interesting conversation when we describe his behavior for what it actually is—whether he’s being stubborn, dismissive, hostile, or even emotionally guarded. I think some of the specific ways he copes—through joking, deflection, self-sacrifice, breaking objects, or pushing people away—are very human.

I think it was @ilarual that pointed out that Supernatural isn’t a Saturday family drama… it can’t be divorced from its religious horror fantasy roots. The characters’ struggles—whether emotional breakdowns, crises of faith, or cycles of self-destruction—aren’t just personal; they’re heavy with cosmic forces, biblical themes, and the weight of fate itself.

Anyway, it’s hard for me not to see “toxic” as a copout word. (Forgive me for dumping on you.)

Hi Shal! I'm so honored to get two asks from you!! I was carrying them around in my head all week though I didn't have time to answer :(

I'm trying to gather my thoughts about this. Because, yes, I agree that calling Dean "toxic" is a) not accurate and b) a cop-out for analysis. And I certainly agree that that word is overused by deancrits particularly.

I think I'm probably not grasping the full weight and meaning of ilarual's point but from what I'm getting, I think that's a really important element to how dean (and sam and cas and jack etc) act and how we evaluate their actions. The stakes are always so damn high for all of them.

Stepping back for a moment, when reading fic I'm often a little frustrated if Dean is characterized the way he is in canon but most of the contexts that have made him behave, react, be that way are removed. Because in some of those instances, I think some of his behavior reads as pretty ungrounded from reality and maybe more into the kinds of patterns which coalesce into toxicity. (I mean I also think fanon makes people lean into these kinds of characterizations of dean - disaster bisexual, repressed and biphobic, and various other things which are incomprehensible to me)

But in canon, I tend to personally struggle to define any of TFW et al as "toxic." I recall a conversation I had with a friend after watching Lucifer Rising where she was critical of Dean for yelling at Cas when he was trying to break Cas free of Heaven's plans to bring on the Apocalypse. She said he was being mean. I remember feeling so confused - surely if the stakes are the whole entire world, you are well within your rights to raise your voice?

I think all of TFW has moments of being not particularly kind or good communicators or steamrolling each other's emotions or various other things which are kinda yucky interpersonally. But it's pretty much always because the stakes are so fucking high; the world is in peril; there isn't time to have a conversation; they are dealing with catastrophic grief while also having to do crisis management. Most of the conflict in spn happens when the characters are going through what, for most people, would hopefully be the worst day of their lives. And for our boys that happens again... and again...

I am not saying all of this to say we can't call out specific instances of them not being very kind to each other - Sam strangling Dean, Dean aiming a gun at Sam, Cas beating Dean up in an alley, Dean beating Cas up in s10 etc etc. And I also think it's important to talk about the ways these kind of moments constitute or break from their common behavioral patterns - or don't. Eg in your post about Amara and 15.15, you pointed out that betraying and forcibly sacrificing someone who isn't really a direct threat and is learning and growing is not in line with Dean's usual morals - a break from a pattern. And people often point out Cas' pattern for trying to problem solve solo. (These are just examples and by no means comprehensive!)

All this is to say that I actually think that if they all ever got to be in safe, calm world, got some space and time, they all really really do have values around talking things out (we see this again and again) and listening to the differences in how they feel or want to handle situations. Sam and Dean alone have a staggering amount of conversations at the end of episodes where they had conflict. Dean and Cas have multiple on-screen conversations about what caused tension between them and many off-screen conversations which are alluded to. I don't think any of them are perfect communicators. I think they all have various amounts of introspective capacity and effort at various times. They all have some well-worn and not all that healthy emotional go-tos because of the traumatic lives they have all lead - which would take time and safety to unlearn, unpack, and change.

I know your question was about Dean but there's not much I really have to say about Dean which doesn't apply to the others. I am specifically a die-hard Deangirl(gn) but this logic is what would keep me from making a long post about how Sam or Cas are Toxic(tm) even when I'm seeing them exhibit a specific behavior pattern which is annoying to me.

But the last thing I'll say is much more Dean specific and that is that Dean is sort of always just supposed to absorb and roll with everyone else's opinions and analysis and choices and not react with his true or full emotions or else he gets these labels thrown at him. This reminds me of a time I saw a Casgirl(gn) claim it was okay for Cas to beat Dean up in 5.18 because he was really mad at Dean... ? Or what we were talking about a week ago with the Mia Vallens therapy where Sam's frustration and hurt and anger are listened to and validated - including him lashing out at Dean - and the grief and frustration and cornering that Dean is feeling are somehow not supposed to affect the way he's acting? I'm certainly not the first to point this pattern out by any means but I do think that that's a big contributing factor in labeling Dean toxic while having explanations, exceptions, and excuses for the others.

Lastly, you are never dumping on me though I fear this reply is at risk of being a dump <3 I also don't even know if I really answered your question...

Oh wait, one more thing. I think the way fandom can be so focused on looking for the Victim(tm) and the Abuser(tm) means that, especially in many moments in spn, they are utterly missing that one of the inherent consequences of whichever godawful shit the characters are facing is that their beliefs about how to handle it will be in tension. And that's gonna suck for everyone. But it's actually no one's fault that they're arguing or disagreeing about how to handle it.

[zsakuva]

I'm sure this has been asked, but I had found your stuff recently and absolutely love how the different characters are with each being just as charming as the next. My question is what is the thought/writing process? I am wanting to be better at defining my ocs and characters without falling into the same trope and behaviors the characters have exhibit. Obviously there are different methods for different people, but I'll like to know a little bit of the process for you. Do you have any tips to make the voices distinct and consistent through out a piece of writing?

Thank you!

For me, because I have a proclivity for world-building (meaning I am absolutely obsessed and must know the lore before I do anything), I like to understand the path a character has chosen. Their past experiences and upbringing have a dramatic impact on how they shape their own life, and that informs me of how a character acts, talks, and how they both see and react to the world around them.

I'll use Isaac Rhoades as a brief example (I wrote brief but this is not brief at all, my bad xD).

From the beginning, Isaac was written with a sealed heart and a cold personality. He's an articulate and smart man, a workaholic, but he lives in solitude.

I always ask myself how and why a character is who they are, and what decisions they made/experiences they've had to bring them to this point.

For Isaac, his background paints quite the picture:

Born to loving parents, and his grandfather is a successful private investigator — The early part of his childhood nurtured love and care. His mother in particular showed him what it meant to love unconditionally.

His parents are murdered because of his grandfather's choice — Isaac was taught that even the people you love can hurt you, and that nowhere is a safe space.

Learning under his grandfather — Because of his vast portfolio and cases, Isaac is taught more about the workings of the world, and how to stay cautious. There was no space for fun or games; his only objective was expanding his knowledge in many subjects that his grandfather deemed worthy.

Getting stabbed by the maid — This reinforced the thought of a perpetual threat and the need to stay vigilant. It instilled paranoia in him to trust no one.

University in England and Andrew — Here, he remembers the love of his childhood, but also the threat of losing someone else because of his own decisions, taught by his grandfather.

Learning the reason of his grandfather's decision — Isaac was taught that there is always more to one person, for better or worse, as taught by the maid. Due to this and what he's learnt thus far, Isaac decides to seclude himself so he's never forced to make that kind of choice.

Succeeding his grandfather — Being a private investigator opened his eyes to humanity's extremes: the lengths they would go for their own desires at the detriment of others, and the yearning others had to better the world. His work reminds him of his life experiences, and these beliefs constantly clash.

Isaac is distant and cold at first because his life taught him not to trust anyone—even the unassuming—and he doesn't want to let anyone in; they could either betray him, or he could lose them. And yet, despite that, his mother's teachings managed to peek through when he saw Pickle in the alley, alluding to his true nature. Through Isaac's story, his internal struggle begins to rear: desperately wanting to feel love again, but knowing the cost if he does give in and the inevitable choice he might have to make if he opens his heart again.

Isaac is articulate and smart because of his grandfather's teachings. One can assume he stayed in that house for the rest of his teenage years until he left for university, so the only person he really interacted with was his grandfather. Because of this, he's factual, precise, and seldom makes jokes because mostly every conversation had been connected to work in some form. Small talk is a waste of time, and he doesn't indulge others unless there's a reason for it. He's meticulous with when to speak and when to listen.

Isaac is a workaholic because that is what his life has been shaped to be, also likely influenced by his grandfather. He has money, but continues to work. Why? Perhaps it's because he'd be without purpose otherwise. Or is it because he feels it's his duty to continue in his grandfather's footsteps and find the one thing that matters in the ocean of bullshit?

All of this shapes who Isaac is. It wouldn't make sense for him to have the same disposition as Andrew. Though they are similar in ways (articulation, education, work addiction), they take different forms and stem from the unique experiences they've lived. Where Andrew can engage in small talk (he had a freer childhood, a rebellious and fun twin brother, and more public school education/social interactions), Isaac can't. And though they both carry the weight of their own regrets alone, Andrew chooses to live with what he has, but Isaac chooses to endlessly bear the weight of the world and live up to his grandfather's bravery.

SO. With that being said, a suggestion I can give is to constantly remind yourself who your character is with every decision they make. Is it true to them? Does it make sense for them? But remember, humans are also notoriously contradictive, and one is not the same as another. We experience and react to the same conditions in completely different ways; who you are and what you've been through can determine the outcome.

I hope this has helped in some form of way!

Again I apologise for this monstrous post have fun writing aaaaa-

[randomness-is-my-order]

Do you think if jc had an adult like wwx around him while being a teenager he would've turned out different? I absolutely LOVE your takes, so I am very curious as to what your thoughts on this topic are

i mean, the trivial answer would be: yes. he would be different, in some capacity, in some small way at the very least, granted here that the influence the wei wuxian-like adult would have on jiang cheng would be noteworthy and long lasting to begin with. we kind of see it happen with jin ling who has a caretaker who is sort of like madame yu in the form of jiang cheng (less emotionally abusive) and is spoiled and so, he’s a brat when we are first introduced to him but wei wuxian’s influence on him is pretty noticeable by the end—remembering of course, that the revelations and truth about how his parents actually died also played a role in his change of heart. but the key thing to remember here is that jin ling had the inherent will to change, to do better, to absorb the better behaviours he was being subjected to and mould them into his personality.

i’ve worked with kids of various ages (5-15 years) and i’ll draw from my experience there a bit: teenagers have already (usually) reached a stage where they have developed their self-identity to a large extent. they’re all susceptible to influence and capable of change (this never stops, no matter our age) but they learn more by observing and responding and going through consequences than direct inculcation of values. this might seem obvious, maybe, but the change in jiang cheng would hinge on how much this hypothetical wei wuxian-esque adult figure is involved in his life, how much jiang cheng is willing to learn through this influence, and how deep a connection he shares with this person.

in a way, jiang cheng already did have this influence in the form of wei wuxian himself. though they were peers, alot of the values we see wei wuxian imparting to the next gen—he exposed jiang cheng to in his first life. standing up for what’s right, even if it is difficult. not letting convention impale jc with doubts about his future leadership. to not say things thoughtlessly (something even jiang fengmian tried to teach jc), etc. though, i completely accept that these kinds of teachings are much easier to digest when coming from an adult figure than someone you consider to be your future subordinate.

the most important avenue for me here would be to consider whether this wei wuxian-like adult was able to step in between madame yu’s verbal and emotional abuse directed towards jc. and if we really are being literal about the “wei wuxian” inspired individual, then they would be able to shield jc from that vitriol, which does play a significant part in shaping jc. but the other significant parts are his innate nature, his social standing which would provide him certain privileges and world views regardless and his upbringing up until teenagehood.

honestly, i have considered these sorts of questions in variety of other fandoms. particularly, in the percy jackson fandom, one of the common discourse points is whether percy and luke would flip roles were their upbringings swapped and one of the conclusions of it that i will always stand by is that: a character is not a sum of their backstories, wherein you can replace them block for block and recreate the same character twice. irl, people under the exact same situations react in drastically different ways to their circumstances (the multitudes are present in mdzs itself, in how jc, jyl and wwx respond to madame yu’s abuse). there IS an element of simple innate nature playing a role which makes me believe that jiang cheng’s trajectory with a wei wuxian like adult would not follow jin ling’s because they are different people within.

jiang cheng would be have to be receptive to the more positive influence but he canonically does fixate more on the negatives he is being exposed to and he would have to make a fundamental change to benefit meaningfully from the wei wuxianish figure. he would change, of course, perhaps be more mindful of his words and process his emotions more healthily but i cannot with surety say that it would be a significant change, even though i would hope for it. wei wuxian is a GREAT role model, lol. and teenage jiang cheng was not a lost cause just yet.

that said, this hypothetical adult would not handhold jiang cheng through the way he reacted to the collective tragedies that occured pre and post sunshot campaign. if we say that this influence would make jc act differently in major ways (not be irrationally hostile towards the wens, not lead the genocide, not hold onto his grudges vehemently), are we saying this as a merit to the wei wuxianish adult’s ability to change jc so completely or is it a merit to jc for learning and changing himself passively over the course of his relationship with this person? because if it is the latter, i do not think it would happen—because we then do not have jiang cheng’s character and his characteristics in the equation to begin with. it is just another character entirely sculpted by the values of this wei wuxian like person.

this was an interesting question though, and i may have meandered a bit off the lane but i would actually love to hear your thoughts about this as well! and anyone else’s too, whoever stumbles on this post.

[nicki0kaye]

you don't understand

I

love

two different versions of a character meeting themselves

It is my FAVORITE thing in the world

I love having them switch places and having to learn through investigation how their other self came to be where they are, and have their loved ones react to having the wrong version of their guy running around

but I also love forcing them into one universe where they have to interact and can judge each other To Their Face.

I for sure have written reformed!Kallus stepping through a portal, seeing Agent Kallus wearing Imperial blacks and immediately cold clocking Agent Kallus out with a single punch to the face.

[zykamiliah]

i know this may be a shocker to some of you but sometimes... having a main character with flaws =/= bad main character.

main characters don't have to be Pure Golden Paragons of Your Particular Brand of Puritanical, Black and White Morality to be good characters in terms of writing

sometimes it's nice to have flawed main characters, like shen qingqiu, who have biases and whose narration is unreliable and who, though he develops through the course of the novel, still doesn't completely change everything about who he is.

that does not objective change the fact that his kindness and positive actions changed the fate of the characters in proud immortal demon way

because guess what? if people aren't perfect in real life, it sure as hell follows that characters don't have to be perfect either. people have many layers, and characters can, too. svsss gave us a richness of characters that are complex like that, that are as much capable of "good" and "bad", who are biased and blind and oblivious and react to things in complex ways.

so please.... just because sqq didn't immediately absolved your fav from all his faults because he find out about his past abuse in a "oh so he was a slave!! he was abused!! poor baby!! this explains everything and justifies all his actions and absolves him of his crimes!!!", doesn't mean he didn't feel sympathetic, doesn't mean he didn't acknowledge that shen jiu was a person, doesn't mean he now has an understanding that he didn't have previously. the trauma sj suffered doesn't justify how he hurt others.

THE SAME WAY that because he had the system breathing on his neck doesn't justify sqq for hurting lbh. the same way that the abuse he suffered doesn't justify bingge's cruel and tyrannic actions, nor his overblown revenge.

all of this characters are flawed and complex and carry with them an humanity that makes them compelling and deeply interesting; trying to point fingers and put the blame on everything that happened in One Particular Character takes away their agency about their own fates and the impact and consequences their actions have on others and the world.

hear it from shen jiu himself

and from sy!sqq:

i think that if there's a lesson to learn from svsss, is that you should treat others how you want to be treated; and that the way you go about it will have consequences in your life-- because you are an active agent in your own life, you have agency, and though you are also a product of circumstance, you should definitely use what little amount of agency you have to treat yourself and the people and the world around you with fairness, and if possible, kindness.

[rizzoreads88]

✨Reasons why I’m still confident Elriel is endgame✨

1)All the hints and foreshadowing we have had for them since Acomaf.

There is a lot but I’m only going to list the main ones…*how they reacted to each other the first time they met and they both were wearing cobalt blue*azriel being the one to figure out she was a seer and then his understanding started to help Elain get better * the entire Hybern rescue scene and Azriel being full of rage ready to die to get to her*Azriel lending her truth teller when he never let anyone else touch it.*Azriel and Elain spending time alone together in the garden multiple times*Azriel following the sound of her laughter*Elain calling Azriels hands beautiful *Azriels shadows lighting up at her smile*Azriels shadows wanting to attack Nesta for insulting Elains personality* The way Azriel reacts whenever Elains Hybern kidnapping is brought up, *His entire Bonus chapter scene with Elain & Rhysand, *Azriel being upset about and still focused on Elain even after his bonus chapter scene w Gwyn takes place. *azriel having a physical reaction to Eluciens mate bond and seeing elain around Lucien.

2)Lucien & Vassa

Vassien has been my longest Acotar ship. I have been pretty sure about them since Acowar. The moment SJM retconned Lucien’s Dad to a spell cleaver, then we find out Vassa has a unbreakable curse and SJM has Lucien be the one to find her (a bird of flame and a lord of fire I wonder if they’d found each other yet) I truly felt Elucien was not going to happen. There was literally no other reason for her to retcon his dad. Then she’s built them up ever since as well. ( Feyre watching them off alone suprised how Lucien is acting around Vassa, Lucien blushing talking about Vassa, Lucien getting a spark in his eye or Vassa, Lucien having a pained physical reaction when Vassa talks about being enslaved to Koschei, Lucien seemingly setting a target on Koschei over Vassa, Mor pointing out it’s not usually for mates to be away from each other and ok, the inner circle saying Lucien is biased about Vassa now and they can’t trust his reports on her, SJM pointing out Lucien and Vassa are the true exiles jurian is not, Cassian & Nesta also questioning/wondering about Lucien’s reactions to Vassa or about her…) SJM has been slowly building Elriel alongside Vassien in the background. SJM has also talked about how she wanted to do a vasalisa the beautiful and a swan lake retelling and Lucien/Vassa& Koschei fit that perfectly. Now couple this will all the information we get on mates being able to reject a mate bond, mates not always being love matches, people questioning eluciens bond ect…

3)Gwyns Growth in Acosf

Another reason why I’m confident in elriel is because we got so much of Gwyns story in Acosf. People take us learning so much about Gwyn as a sign she’s next but I think it’s actually the opposite.In 1 book we met her, saw her grow, she got her besties, she revealed her deep trauma and how it affects her and we see her start to really overcome that. If Gwyn was getting her own POV SJM would have saved most of that for her book. If you look at Feyre,Nesta,Manon,Lidia ect w we didn’t learn about their true traumas or see them really start to work on it until we were in their own pov. Yes we got hints and a general idea but nothing in depth like we have for Gwyn.(like Elain we have gotten a lot of hints of her trauma but not the true depth of it or her true feelings over it yet in depth… )But if you look at characters like Fenrys, Asterin their storyline happened like Gwyns. They were amazing supporting characters and we learned about their trauma and saw their growth through Aelin/manons pov like we did for Gwyn through Nesta

4)HOFAS

We got absolutely nothing for Gwyn in Hofas. Which really surprised me because Gwyn has been studying the possibility of different worlds/realms with Merrill this would have been the PERFECT time to bring her in in a small way and give us some sort of hint and we got nothing. Even when Bryce was talking about her best friend to Nesta we still got nothing about Gwyn. A huge promising sign to me that Elriel is still endgame …Now remember how Sarah said she left breadcrumbs in azriels bonus chapter? Azriel questioned the cauldron over Eluciens mate bond in acosf and then in hofas the crossover he is heavily involved in we find out the cauldron was infact corrupted by the Daglan. SJM followed throw on those breadcrumbs to the next book…

5)Elriel in Azriels BC

If Elriel weren’t endgame why even give us their scene in his bonus chapter? She could have had Elains scene be with Lucien and azriels just be with gwyn but she didn’t…. Until then nothing solid had happened on page for elriel.. yes there has been moments and alot of foreshadowing but we hadn’t had thier feelings on page yet and in the bonus chapter she gives us canon confirmation they are into each other… then brings up the obstacle that they will have to overcome (Eluciens mate bond) She has rhysand set it up even further and then leaves things unresolved between them…. Why do annnnyyyyy of that if they weren’t endgame? It’s bc she set their story up the same way she did nessian in acofas… a special moment and then a “rejection” and they were left unsettled…. The same way she did for feyre and rhysand in acotar… they have a special moment as they are saying goodbye and feyre is staying w tamlin but then Rhys realizes she’s his mate and leaves, leaving her alone for months…. Again leaving them unresolved……….. people say “she did that to end them” If SJM was “ending” then she wouldn’t have left them unresolved. SJM could have just simply move elain on to Lucien and had her scene w him in the BC and kept Azriels with Gwyn and then start to move azriel on ti Gwyn after the Bonus chapter scene. But she didn’t. Because days later Azriel is still into Elain.

If you stuck with me this long phew thank you! Now while I am confident Elriel/Vassien are happening I do not think it is 100% set in stone yet. I don’t take anything as confirmation unless SJM confirms it or it’s in the books. So while I am confident I also do not count my chicken before the hatch. Could SJM change her mind and go in a different direction? Sure but that could be said about any couple in her series now too. Based on canon text and how she writes endgame pairings I truly think it will be Elriel/Vassien.

[alpaca-clouds]

How to make a "world" more accessible

Let's talk a bit about accessible worldbuilding. I am thinking here first about Solarpunk worlds, but also about other scifi and fantasy worlds, that often do not think about this at all. Again, there is this nasty tendency to just assume that there are no disabilities in those worlds - and it leaves disabled people often feeling left out.

One of the most basic accessibility features one would expect to see in a world would be some sorts of ramps. And don't get me started with "oh, in my world wheelchairs fly!", which is something that actually not all folks reliant on wheelchairs want - as the actual hand-moved wheelchair often gives them a certain control.

It should also be noted that ramps help not only wheelchair users, but also people with baby strollers, and folks who might use other mobility aids like rollators. Heck, in my life ramps have also helped me, when I was travelling with a large trunk. Really, ramps make life easier for a lot of folks! Heck, if we think about a solarpunk world, where hopefully a lot of folks would get around by bike, ramps would help as well.

Of course, in some cases (if feasible in the technology level) there might also be a need for some sort of elevator. Again, not only wheelchair users will make use of that.

Another thing that should help, would be a wider usage of stuff like orientation systems for blind people. Currently those things are fairly spotty. Like some places have them, other places don't. And even where they are implemented, a lot of folks do not know what they are and will walk over it and park their cars on it. Stuff like that, which will once again make stuff more dangerous and inaccessible for blind people.

Then there should more accessibility accomondations for people who are deaf or hard of hearing. Those could mean to install visual signals for warning systems, which often currently are mainly auditory. It could also mean a wider usage of stuff like subtitles if possible in the world. And it also could mean that in the world people are more encouraged to learn sign language.

But those are the obvious disabilities. The stuff folks think off first when they hear "disability".

But there are other disabilities. Personally, for example, I do have some issues with my bowels. So what would be important to me is easy access to toilets whereever I move around. Which also is to say: Yes, dear public transport. Not having a single accessible toilet in your fucking train is an accessibility issue and ableistic.

Or the one accessibility aspect that has slowly been taken away recently due to hostile architecture: Benches and other places in public to sit down on. Because a lot of folks just cannot stand/walk for a long while. This is true for old people, and recently increasingly too for folks disabled through COVID.

There is also the need for shaded areas. As there are several disabilities that do not deal well with direct sunlight. Be it people who react allergic against sunlight, be it people whose eyes cannot deal with too much light, or be it people who might just struggle with their circulation when in the direct sun for too long.

And then there is allergic people. Which is also a big chunk - and in some cases can be quite debilitating. And I might remind people: In a fantasy or scifi world there might be people allergic to some of the worldbuilding stuff. Like in the Witcher Triss is allergic against magic, and in the nice sapphic webcomic Always Human one of the two main characters is allergic against bio-implants. Hence, ideally in an accessible fantasy/scifi world it would be easy to access what kinda stuff is in a potion and what not, to allow folks to be safe.

Lastly, of course, there are neurodivergent folks and... about that I am going to talk tomorrow.

Oh, and by the way: If you are disabled and have ideas of how the world could be more accessible for you... Please feel free to add!