#i know we don't agree on everything all the time
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Hi, you summoned me, the big gorgeous linux fairy, and this is the Jack Joy's Guide to Linux. This is going to be a long read, so be prepared.
Chapter 0: What do we want? The first thing I would recommend is asking what you want from linux. Linux is open source, has 30 years of dedicated nerds working on it, and is driven by giving people choice and control over their computer. You got options, but with that decisions to make. Is it simplicity? Is it Stability? Do we wanna game, or is this basically just a fancy browser machine with some word processors attached? It all depends on knowin what you want, because there is going to be something that will cater to your needs. Chapter 0.5: Making the tough call The second thing to know about linux is that you are going to be giving up some stuff to gain a LOT of control over your computer. Linux has done a wonderful job getting easier about what it offers, but ultimately you are going to run into some jank. You are going to have to be prepared to touch the scary obelisk that is the terminal. And you are going to have to say goodbye to some programs that just don't work on linux. If you use Adobe Products you are SOOL for example. There are replacements, but you will inevitably end up having to learn something new. Personally, I found the task to be refreshing to get myself acquainted with stuff, but that isn't what everyone wants. Hopefully this is not a dealbreaker.
Chapter 1: Go Oynon, I need to collect my tools.
To Install Linux, you are going to need a few things, and before you begin to just follow this guide as you are doing it, read this entire chapter as there are going to be some things that are gonna be important to know before you get into things.
A flash drive (preferably just a big USB stick, messing around with USB to SD card readers got me a fucked install of mint once)
Balena Etcher
Your preferred Flavor of linux
Some knowledge on the bios of your machine
And preferably a secondary boot device in your machine (IE a second SSD)
First grab the ISO file of the OS you want to install on your PC, which maybe you have already had a potential distro of linux in mind. If not, let me recommend some potential good candidates for someone first messing around with linux.
Side Tangent 1.1: Jack Joy's Pixie Picks for easy Linux Distros
Linux Mint is the gold standard for stupid simple linux distro. It just works*, it comes with a DE(desktop Enviroment) that is reminiscent of windows 7 so adjustment should be minimal and overall, is very uncomplicated. Is a bit bland tho. *(things still break sometimes)
Ubuntu meanwhile you probably already heard of. Think of it as the MacOS of Linux. It has the most company support, it's DE called GNOME is very MacOS like in it's design language, incredibly stable, but also very poor in customization. If something says tested on linux, a lot of the time, it means tested on Ubuntu.
EndeavourOS is my linux distribution of choice. It's based off of Arch Linux, which is what powers the Steamdeck with SteamOS, and as such has a lot of nifty Arch linux niceties, like the Arch User Repository, and KDE Plasma as it's DE. It tries to combine being user friendly while letting you tinker with everything, it is on the cutting edge of linux, but that also means that stuff CAN break more often.
With this side tangent over, install balena etcher and flash your ISO on your USB stick.
Reboot your PC, and as it boots enter into your BIOS. Most systems use the F12 function key, but it might also be any of the other F keys because no one can agree on anything in the fucking tech space. From the BIOS your going to want to look into your boot order and if your USB stick is available, pull it up in the order. If it isn't there, your gonna have to wrestle with your BIOS as there might be some secure boot shenanigans going on. BIOS' vary so much that you'll have to look into your system in particular (which could be a good time to learn more about your PC in general).
Once done, exit out of the BIOS and things should hopefully be happening. Depending on the Linux Distro you used this might look more or less scary, but if it looks like it is doing some WEIRD SHIT instead of booting windows, it's going good. At some point you'll enter a "live enviroment" of your OS (a version of the OS that exists entirely from the USB that will be gone once you reboot) and an installer will be on the desktop or have popped up automatically (at least, for all three of the beginner friendly Distro's I recommended. Please don't try to install raw Arch Linux on your first Linux Install.)
Once the installer gets to formatting drives is where we have to do a hard pause, because formatting drives is SCARY and DANGEROUS if you aren't doing it to an extra drive that has nothing in it. In general it is always scary and dangerous. The installer is going to give you a bunch of options on where it wants to be put, and what it is going to do to the drive where it makes itself at home. If you are putting this on an extra SSD, tell it to do what it wants with that extra SSD and bob is your uncle. If you are putting this on the same drive as your windows install, you are going to have to be real careful and tell it to make a partition, give it however much space you can give it, and voila. Or, if you just want to ensure you never go to windows ever again, nuke the entire drive, in which case you might want to invest in another USB drive to keep a clean copy of a non shit windows OS. Think of that USB drive as an "In case of emergency, Break glass" type safety precaution.
The Installer will finish, either asking you to reboot the PC or doing so by itself, and once it is done it will now do the standard linux boot sequence. Congratulations. You have transitioned your PC from widows to whatever flavor of Linux picked your fancy. From here on out, what you do with your PC is up to you and you alone. Fuck around. Look at all the software that came with your linux install, especially the actual software store where you can get even more stuff.
Hope this guide helped.
im sure someone already made a post about it but i came across a ublock origin add-on that blacklists around 950 AI websites and disables AI overview ☝️ so u can be free from seeing AI in your search
#linux#linuxposting#I am sorry this is such a long guide#i wanted to make it shorter but it always felt like i forgot something that might be messed up by someone#i wanted to be as thourough as possible
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"Look who just woke up! Guess I was too rough yesterday."
"You sure didn't hold back babe. My hole still hurts a little."
He smirked and looked back to his laptop as he started to wiggle his toes.
"You'll get used to it love. No holding back in the bedroom anymore. I have a lot of work today honey, and I need a delicious breakfast to get work done."
"On it sir."
"That's my good boy. Get it ready and then come so I can serve your breakfast."
I went to the kitchen and started preparing his breakfast. It's been a month since we agreed to a dom/sub relationship and we've been enjoying everything about it. The sex has never been spicier and our love has never been stronger.
I headed to the living room with his breakfast in hand.
"Your breakfast, sir."
"Good boy. Yours is also ready baby. Go ahead, don't hold back."
I didn't need him to tell me that because I wasn't going to hold back for his feet.
I started sniffing his soles starting from his heel and making my way up to his toes. His feet were amazing, just perfect. His sole was slightly dirty from the ground, and also a bit pink and dry. They smelled earthy and vinegary in the best way.
I got my tongue out and started licking, I made sure to get every spot. From his heel, to his sole, and to his tasty toes, every inch. Up and down, left and right.
I looked up at him as i sucked on his toes, and he was locked in on his laptop. He devoured his breakfast and was focusing on work. He started working from home and a while ago, and I can now truly serve him all the time.
"That's enough boy. Now come sit with me before you start cleaning the house."
I got up and snuck under his arm to rest my head at his chest. He placed his hand on my ass and kissed my head as I buried my face in his chest.
"That's right my princess, take deep whiffs of daddy's scent."
He put his laptop away and pushed my face slightly down to his dick.
"I need a fast one boy. All in, hold, take a breath... you know the drill now."
I didn't hesitate a second to comply with his order. I took all in as I was trained by him.
"Good boy. Make daddy proud... oh yeah... hold it... hold it... a bit more... now release... good boy... tak it all back in... almost there... ahhhhh."
My mouth was full of his juice that I swallowed in before giving his dick a quick lick to clean it up.
"That was amazing, baby. Now give me a proper pedicure while I continue work. Want my feet soft and clean."
"As you wish babe."
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Idk if you've ever written about this but when samy and will get back together when do they tell their friends? Do they tell Ryan and Gabe immediately or keep it lowkey for a while? How do they react?
oo i don't think i have written about this before. i always started to and then i never finished my drafts so i'm glad someone asked about it to remind me :)
considering they get back together in san jose when samy's there helping settle will in, it's pretty easy for them to keep it on the down low and i think they definitely do for a bit and not tell ryan and gabe and all of them. of course though, ryan and gabe are dying to know if they did get back together because they were all really hoping the trip would the couple work out the last of their differences and finally get back together
au masterlist
as soon as samy sat down gabe and ryan were on her immediately and dying to know what happened in san jose. samy and will were purposefully not saying much because they wanted to ease back into telling their friends that they were back together, but boy, were those two persistent.
she went to go see them in boston one more time before everything swept them up, and neither of them wasted any time sitting her down on the couch to talk. none of the other guys were home and wouldn’t be for at least two hours, so the three had a lot of time to talk.
“sooo..” ryan began, eager and curious because will wasn’t saying much to them over text.
“you guys were so nosy,” samy teased with a small eye roll.
“it’s not nosy if we wanna know,” gabe said and that made the girl raise her eyebrow because she didn’t even know what that meant.
“come on, just tell us,” ryan urged, quite literally on the edge of his seat.
“yes, we got back together,” the brunette finally said which made both of the boys jump up in joy.
“i knew it! i knew it! i knew you’d get back together!” gabe pointed a finger and reveled in predicting that the trip would fix everything.
“how’d it happen? did he talk you up? did you guys have like..make up sex?” the two boys snickered like they were 12 and sharing secrets. samy rolled her eyes again.
“he just..asked me to dinner and i said yes and then we talked some more and then it kind of led to us..kissing back at his place..and yeah..maybe some..other stuff,” the soccer player flushed a deep crimson.
“aww, look at you two go! i knew it’d all work out,” gabe nudged her arm with a smile that his friends were no longer fighting anymore.
“we’re still..working things out but yeah. it feels nice,” samy agreed.
“well, yeah. it’s gonna take awhile to build back up to where you were, but at least it’s a start. you guys know where you stand with one another. i’m happy for you for you guys,” ryan grinned.
“and if he ever pulls that shit again, we’ll knock some sense into him, don’t worry,” gabe added making the girl giggle.
“it’s like i’m happy and scared at the same time, does that make sense? or is that stupid? i’m happy we’re back together, but i guess i’m still scared it’s gonna all fall apart again,” samy bit her lip as her ruminating set in again. she ruminated the entire plane ride back which definitely wasn’t healthy, but she couldn’t really help the other side of the what ifs.
“it’s not stupid. you’re valid for having fears still. he broke your trust and your heart. that’s not something that can just be like forgotten. it’s gonna be a long road, but will really wants this to work again and i know you do too,” ryan quickly reassured and gabe nodded in agreement.
“the whole distance thing literally sucks because it’s like..we spent freshman year in long distance and the summer we get to finally actually be together we break up and now we’re back to doing long distance without any time to like really be together, you know?” now samy was just rambling at this point.
“long distance is not easy, but i also think it helps you both grow as people outside of one another and the relationship. plus, we’re always here too if you need anything. not in michigan, but boston is a lot closer than california and you know we’d drop everything for you if you did need it,” ryan continued and samy’s heart warmed hearing them say that.
“yeah, we got your back, hughesy, don’t worry. and no we’re not just saying this because you’re will’s girlfriend, like we actually mean it. you’re our friend too and we care about you,” gabe said. the youngest hughes flushed and wondered how she met hockey boys like this.
#will smith hockey#hughes!sister x will smith au#samy x will#samy hughes#will smith x oc#will smith imagine#boston college hockey#boston college#uofmichigan#umich hockey#will smith hockey 2#will smith 2#ws2#wsh2#ws6#will smith hockey fluff#will smith hockey angst#san jose sharks#sjs#sj sharks#san jose sharks fic#umich#umich imagines#umich blurb#umich fic#umich wolverines#umich soccer#umich imagine#umich au#nhl
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OK topical swerve but: punk is inherently about being countercultural, which is why Soviet punks were/post-Soviet punks are a bit obsessed with fascist imagery, and also why so many punks you might politically agree with are ginormous dicks personally.
I think this is an important point to introduce into discussions of the future of a hypothetical solarpunk society — when the fighting is done (and it is fighting), when the raw glory of it fades, how is a new society going to deal with the future it builds? How is it going to be sustainable? When this isn't countercultural anymore but you've built a mainstream society that still values nonconformism for its own sake, where is that going to lead?
I think some of the most important work that can be done is the type of community building that looks forward to the point where life is liveable, and then beyond it, to the next generation. This is a point that people in activist circles often forget about because, for completely understandable reasons, most people with the time to do ecofuturist activism are childless or child free — but any society is going to contain children, you know? It has to.
Is it a sustainable world we're building if we aren't, now, thinking about being able to sustain it, in terms of cultural infrastructure for its maintenance and for the raising of healthy children? In terms of the values we want to instill? All of this is to say that it's natural for sustainable healthy communitybuilding in defiance of the state to be labeled as punk /now/, but think again about what happened to the counterculture in the Soviet Union.
That's not why it collapsed, but it devoted endless needless time to beating on its youth for wanting American jeans and shit, for wanting connection with the world, and, like, what are we doing about our equivalent of our kids wanting jeans? Not that, not like, fucking statist repression, but it often seems to me like people in these circles either are still teens, finger on the pulse of how to talk to teens because they're not in an unavoidable hierarchic position of authority over people afraid of authority yet, or have never met a teenager, ever.
I want to interject to say that mythbuilding and identity construction is integral to any society, and I worry sometimes that strongly identifying living a healthy, sustainable, governmentally unexploited life with punk, with the counterculture, might lead into a repeat of history. And then — your society crumbles, because your kids that the state knows how to get to over the internet are young and dumb and buy into ideologies that subvert you out of spite, because you encouraged them to believe that they have a right to do this.
This is why hippie communes usually last a couple generations at most. The government is not as dumb as people think, and this is why most serious activists in this vein focus on making existing, recognised communities better — but even there, there are limits to the usefulness of anger. Don't plant trees and cook meals for the homeless and elderly and agitate for rail because you hate the state — you'll run out of steam.
Do it because you love your city and you'll fight until your neighbours, in all their smallminded conservatism and traumatic relation with civics and sexism and racism and old pain, have clean water and clean air and clean food.
It takes a particular kind of person to be punk to begin with, and you actually very much don't want to cultivate this type of person in a new society, or even in an activist movement to improve an old one. When things get bad enough, and there is always a bad enough for every kind of such individual, this type of person trashes everything around them because fuck you (the new authority) and then does absolutely nothing to help. They came to the commune or the movement to make coffee with Sock and Moss and to grieve their grievances, ultimately, and to feel part of something. Eventually they either get bitter and useless or run out.
No one asked, but this is why personally I don't identify myself as solar or any punk. Punk identity is transitory and fundamentally relies on there being an enemy to rebel against. I'm not pretentious enough to call myself an activist and I don't count as white enough in the US to be taken seriously as such, but in order to be something approximating an activist, you have to think about what happens after.
We fight now, but the most a warrior generation can ultimately do for the health of the community is eventually to beat their swords mostly to ploughshares. How are we going to make sure the kids maintain what we've built, without threat of harm or coercion? What do we do for the children? Eventually angry defiance has to cool down to calm, assured disobedience that knows what it's doing, or else the movement attracts a critical mass of angry, defiant, compromising people, who can't be trusted and won't be directed and don't even know what they're fighting for. Anger makes you dumb, and we can't afford to be dumb about this now that the forces we're looking at know how to break down societies like we hope to have.
We have to work with the human nature we have, and again, I think that means minimizing adversarial framing. With adversarial framing you have sides instead of communities, and if you have sides...
All of this is to say, we have got to cultivate a hopeful, resilient, disobedient activism grounded in a mature, communitarian civics, where there are no wrong kinds of people, but there is a right civic ethic.
They're very good at this in Detroit, despite everything. I used to volunteer with a guerrilla gardening initiative run by the people who taught me this.
I keep seeing people asking ‘is solarpunk really punk?’ because it’s too happy and optimistic and stuff
and I’m picturing a perfect moment in a solarpunk community — the neighbourhood mayor standing with a shit-eating grin on her face when the cops come and cut them off from city power, and nothing turns off
#lest anyone misinterpret me im not for folded hands nonviolence#i think you gotta fuck em up sometimes#i just also think you have to do it mindfully#cogently and awarely#heal yourself first then heal the community you live in#or you will twist it into your image
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The villain sprawled languid, more somber than usual, on the rooftop of a towering business building. Their head rested on the wall leading to the stairwell, legs dangling precariously over the edge. Staring down at the street with an intent that made hero's blood run cold.
"V-villain," Hero murmured with some measure of trepidation.
Villain leaned back, gazed at the hero from upside down, and smiled slow.
"Hero! How on earth did you find me?"
"I'll tell you i-if you come down," Hero said with a note of urgency.
"And why would I do that? I can hear you perfectly fine up here!"
"P-please come down."
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were worried about me," the villain said, tapping them teasingly. "Scared of heights? Or think I have something up my sleeve?"
"I know you saw what the mayor said," Hero said. "I... I don't even know where to begin."
"So don't," Villain said. "After all, you agree with him, don't you? You just stood there and let him say everything. Of course you'll deny it and feign being neutral--"
"No, that's not--"
"Because that's so much less messy, isn't it?"
"I--"
"Listen, sit back, grab some popcorn, and I'll make a show of it just for you." They stood, one foot on the edge, one arm holding a pole as they dangled over the rooftop edge. "Your life will be sooo much better if I just--"
"VILLAIN!" Hero yelled. They climbed up and grabbed for their collar, but Villain dodged, spinning gracefully to the other side of the pole. Hero lost their balance, and Villain grabbed at their collar to steady them. "Careful, darling, we're high, high up. You don't want an accident, do you?"
"V-villain, please--"
"Aren't you afraid I'll push you?" Villain said. "Poor, sweet, trusting thing."
Hero sucked in a breath. Looked down below. That was a mistake.
"Villain, please, get down from here," they pleaded. "Please, I need you, please--"
Villain sneered. "You need me? What sentimental hogwash are you spewing now? You've never needed someone like me. Besides, you should worry more about yourself." Villain gripped their collar tightly, eyes wide with a hungry sort of malice. "Aren't you letting your guard down too much?"
With a yank, they swung Hero over the edge, toes barely holding the rooftop's edge.
Hero SCREAMED, panted, scrambling for as much purchase as possible.
"You're pathetic," Villain said. "Weak and trusting and SO easy to manipulate. A good little puppet for the mayor up until now."
"VILLAIN--" Hero screeched, voice cracking.
"But now I hold the strings," Villain said. "And it's time to make you dance."
They shoved Hero's feet off the edge. Kicking air. Crying. "Please please PLEASE--"
"Say it. Say I'm a monster, you COWARD. A filthy creature that needs to be eradicated--"
"V-villain--"
"An infestation on an otherwise fine society--"
"VILLAIN, NO--"
"You coward," Villain spat. "Say it to my face."
"Y-you're not."
"Liar. I'm a monster. Say it."
Tears fell from Hero's face.
"N-no. You're right. I'm a coward."
Silence.
Villain drew them back to the ledge.
"The m-mayor... Is the monster. I s-shouldn't have let it get this bad. We can't let him keep on like this."
There was that same somber look on the villain's face.
"I-I should have stood up to him," Hero sobbed. "I-if you... J-jump... It would end me." They hiccuped and buried their face in their hands. "I... I c-can't... I..."
"Hey, uh..." Villain gripped their shoulders. "Let's get down... Okay?"
"I'm a coward," Hero sobbed. "All this time... I just kept quiet... And for what? I almost lost you."
Villain patted their shoulder gently.
Hero looked up at them with watery eyes.
"I... I care about you. You're so used to being the villain you can't picture anything else."
"Heh." Villain shook their head. Put some distance between them, back turned. "You martyr. I just threatened your life."
"They're calling for your blood and disrespecting your life's work, and I stood by and let them. I betrayed you."
"It... Hurt," Villain said, hugging themselves. Head hung. "More than I care to admit."
"I'll make it right," Hero said. "Most don't see it, but your motives are good. I'll make them see it."
"I'm a villain, darling," Villain said with a sad smile. "My motives hardly matter."
Hero closed the distance and laid a gentle hand on their arm.
"They matter to me."
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𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒘𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒕.
( gif credit )
— summary : after two years, you ended your "relationship" with drew.
— warnings : angst, fwbs , vague nsfw , jealousy , mention of punk.
— pairing : drew mcintrye x reader
— word count : 992
— writer's note : this is the first time i write after seven years. my writing is rusty, but hopefully, it'll get better as i start posting on here more.
— tag list : @espresscs / if you'd like to be on the tag list, send me a dm !
“i'm not joking.” you had responded with a firm tone in your voice, your arms crossed as you looked up at drew with a serious look.
both of you had been messing around ever since joining as a backstage interviewer two years ago. it was supposed to be a one-night stand; that's it. that then turned into friends who messed around after the show was over. it was supposed to be casual. it was supposed to be fun. no strings attached just like they had agreed on. then things started to change. it was not certainly for the best but for the worst. things between the both of you shifted as time passed. it went from not caring about what the other does to becoming jealous. something that you never expected to happen.
especially since you were never the type to be jealous but every time you would walk past him, you couldn't help but feel pain when he'd flirt with some of the women from the locker room. you never understood why you felt that. you and drew were nothing more than friends who made each other feel good whenever both of you needed it after a long day at work. so what was it that made you feel that way about him?
maybe it was because you would see drew take some of the women from the roster back to his hotel. where unfortunately, you would be next to his room where you could hear the moans, whimpers, and screaming while they were begging him to not stop. which made you uncomfortable. not because of the loud noises. but because the thought of him with someone else made your heart sink.
there were times when drew would distance himself from you. act as if he didn't fuck the shit out of you the other night. then he'd send you a text and ask if you wanted to hang out with him that night. you wanted to say no during those times but you couldn't help yourself but give in. oh, how you hated that he had that effect on you.
it was starting to confuse you every day. did drew like you as more than a friend or did he like you as someone he could go to when no one was around? nonetheless, it was taking an effect on you. he'd go from having mindless sex to being intimate and whispering how much he couldn't get enough of you and how no one but you made him want to.
god, your brain was all over the place and you couldn't fucking take it anymore. which is why you had distanced yourself from him. you hadn't talk to him until now.
“you're lying.” drew replied with a mocking chuckle, shaking his head side to side with a smug smirk. he didn't believe what you were saying because you two would go back together after not talking for a while. the same old routine, talk, have sex, and make up with one another. “i know you better than anyone you know yourself.”
hearing him say that, you felt agitated. your frustrations boiling, taking a deep breath before continuing on. “i'm not lying, andrew.” your voice quiet but able for him to hear. “you don't know me. it's been like what? a month since we talked to each other? yeah, i wouldn't say you do even if it's been two years.”
there was a brief silence before you continued on. “besides, i'm interested in someone else.” muttering under your breath, moving your gaze from his. you weren't lying when you said that. you'd been talking to none other than, cm punk. the man that everyone hates.
both of you had been talking for awhile now. he understood how you felt whenever you'd talk about drew. he never pushed you to tell you everything that was going on between the two of you. the only thing he said was if drew was making you feel this way, the only way to do so was to stop talking to him completely.
at first, you were hesitant because drew had been part of your life and made you feel special. yes, there were times when both of you did things that couples would do or he complimented how beautiful you looked. even praising how you've been a hard worker. but now… it didn't feel that way. in your eyes, drew was an acquaintance rather than a friend that you had confined yourself to.
licking the roof of her mouth, drew looked at you with a peculiar expression, trying to figure out if you were lying. you weren't lying because by now, you'd be crawling up to him but this time you kept your distance from him. “who's the lucky guy?”
“that's none of your business.”
“but it is now,” he told you, running his hand through his hair as a sigh of disbelief came from him. this couldn't be true. there was no way she'd stop him but he was wrong.
“i don't have time to go back and forth with you. i have to go. have a nice night.” and without hesitation, you passed him without glancing at him.
your mind was telling you to go back and tell him it wasn't true you were interested in someone else. but you knew you'd be lying to yourself. you had become more interested in punk than drew. it hurt but it was the truth and you weren't going to lie to yourself.
punk made you feel special. he listened to every word you said and spent time with you outside of work unlike drew. it was different, but the good kind. something you had never had in your entire life.
there was a part of you that believed drew did like you at some point but that was your mind being delusional.
he was a fire that you had loved so much until it burned.
#mine.#writings.#drew.#drew mcintyre x reader#drew mcintrye x you#drew mcintrye one shot#drew mcintyre fanfiction#drew mcintyre fanfic#drew mcintyre fic#wwe imagine#wwe x reader#wwe fic#wwe fanfiction
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"Well... first of all, I'm not discouraged. I'm sad sometimes about things that I see happening around me in Washington or on the news. I did not come here to tell you everything's going to be fine. I'm not here to tell you that. Everything's not going to be fine. You know, everything's never been fine.
And if you think through our lifetimes or through history, things that are most compelling, most inspiring, most choice-worthy are the differences that have been made in the most difficult circumstances, or the confrontation of the most ugly problem.
I doubt any of you was inspired to be interested in public service because you read about some relatively easy problem where everyone agreed what to do and then they did it and everything was fine, right? We choose to do these things because we know first of all it matters who gets involved, and it matters what the outcome is. And that's hard, and it's always been hard. I don't know if this is inspiring, maybe it's a little bit comforting is that to the extent that we do figure these things out in our lifetime, the most difficult and painful things we were involved with will be romanticized by future generations looking for inspiration.
You know, I grew up envying my parents a little bit for living in the 60's, which from the calm and sometimes even politically boring times of the late 90's and early 2000's seemed just cooler. And my parents would say things to me like 'That was a terrible period! It was terrifying. People were getting assassinated and my friends were getting sent off to war. And it all looks cool now because you listen to the arts that flourished in response to the horrors our generation were being subjected to.'
But the way we navigated that, often the hard way, inspires us because of how tough it was on the way in. And I think that's kind of what makes all of this work worth doing, which is why I'm not discouraged, and why I'm not checking out and why I'm not giving up.
How can we give up? We don't have the right to give up. Like, think about the stuff that other people didn't give up in the face of. And then think about how things change. And yes, sometimes things change for the worse. And sometimes things don't change in time. But sometimes things change faster than you ever thought they would. As recently as when I was sitting in the seat of a student at an institution not that different from the Ford school, watching politicians come and give speeches, wondering if I'd ever be among them, I knew that I probably wouldn't because I was categorically disqualified from holding office, where I came from, because I was gay. And then I wasn't. [laughter]
I was gay! I wasn't disqualified! Things change but that didn't just happen because I waited around long enough. It happened because other people put their careers on the line and their futures on the line and made it change in less than one political lifetime. So that I get to be here, as a cabinet official, offering the world according to Pete, to a room full of students weighing what our complicated future is going to be. So how dare I give up, right? And all of us have our own reasons for being in this, and all of us have our own reasons for feeling the temptations of being discouraged. But if you're not out there doing this work, someone else will be.
As you can imagine that has a particularly specific implication for those of us who are literally seeing the people who will be doing the jobs we've been doing. But that's true whether the job so to speak is a job job, or the job of an activist or the job of a researcher.
Somebody's going to be doing this, and you, your kids, and your kid's kids, will be living with the implications of the choices they made. Wouldn't you rather it be you?"
Pete Buttigieg, after being asked for inspiration by a student at the Ford School for Public Policy
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I see people saying this but I don't think Donovan necessarily has to know Twilight is a spy at this point. Consider if his powers work like Anya's, it means he can only read people's surface level thoughts, and only on activation.
If you go back to Chapter 38 (Loid & Donovan's first meeting) you see Donovan doesn't really seem that interested in what Loid is saying, kind of blowing him off until after Loid agrees with him that "People will never truly be sympathetic with each other." After that point, Loid doesn't have any more thoughts about 'how he's a spy,' so if we assume Donovan didn't start reading his mind until after Loid said that, his identity is actually still safe.
Donovan as a politician probably gets hounded by dozens of people every day, I doubt he goes out of his way to read the minds of every single person he meets, after all.
This would also explain why Loid's cover hasn't been blown yet, as the alternative explanation is that Donovan knows Loid's a spy (or at least a conniving man trying to extract information out of him) who's infiltrated Eden's schools and for some reason Donovan chooses to do nothing with that information, not even seeming a little bit interested. For a man characterized as being "careful," that seems like a rather careless action to take.
That's all the Watsonian explanation of course, but the Doylist one is that having Donovan already know Loid's identity basically invalidates the entire plot of the story and renders everything that's been done so far pointless.
Here's how I see this going down: Anya realizes that since Donovan has telepathy, Operation Strix is almost instantly doomed, and Loid interacting with Donovan again is sure to get him killed. Anya then hatches a plot to convince Loid telepathy is real and possibly teach him a way to counteract it like Demetrius does. This might end up requiring an Anya identity reveal, but maybe not. We might also see some flashbacks from Anya's time at Apple and how she came to get telepathy.
Well, seems like something that was just a theory before has come very close to truth...
Because of this major revelation, I wanted to take a deep dive into what we know about Donovan so far and how hints throughout past chapters could indeed indicate that he can read minds. While we still don't have concrete proof for this other than Melinda's word, I don't believe there's anything that discredits this idea, either. In fact, many things throughout the series support it.
First we have Loid's encounter with Donovan way back in chapter 38. I always found it strange that we never got insight into Donovan's thoughts throughout that whole exchange. We always get to know what characters are thinking, even without Anya's mind-reading support. It's not an uncommon storytelling mechanic in general after all, especially for manga. Yet, Endo chose not to give us any insight into what Donovan was thinking. I figured this was simply to avoid spoiling anything about what his exact plans and motives are for future stories (also why Anya was absent for this). But now it seems like this could have also been to hide the fact that he can read minds. If he can read minds, certain things he said during that exchange take on a more ominous meaning. For example, what he said below about how people can never truly understand each other.
It's been a headcanon of mine that the reason why Anya, and perhaps Donovan, were given mind-reading powers, stemmed from the desire for world peace...the idea being that if people could read each other's minds - in other words, always know what others are thinking and feeling, sympathy and understanding would abound.
We learn later on that Donovan had ideas like this even as a kid when he made a similar comment during his debate competition speech. He said that it's impossible to know the true intentions of others so people will forever doubt each other, thus war is inevitable.
We also have the little detail in today's chapter that Donovan did not have the scars on his head during Melinda's flashback (of course, he didn't have them as a kid in chapter 99 either).
Now this is totally my theory, but if we take Melinda's words as the truth, without any misunderstanding, then sometime in Donovan's adult life after he married and had a child, he was experimented on and was given mind-reading powers, perhaps by force but most likely by choice. Now that he has these powers, his laments about people not being able to understand each other are no longer true, at least not for him. Perhaps the experiments done on Anya were preliminary tests that he put together to perfect the mind-reading implementation science before actually doing it to himself. Again, totally just speculation, but not out of the question.
Then we have Demetrius...we learned in chapter 93 that Anya has trouble reading his mind.
If we put that together with Melinda's comment in today's new chapter, that Demetris also took note of Donovan being able to read minds...
...then perhaps Demetrius conditioned himself to think in ways that would make it difficult for his mind to be read, specifically to thwart the "alien" that's impersonating his father. I mentioned last time that I don't think Donovan is actually an alien, and that this description is the only explanation Melinda could come up with to explain his mind-reading powers. If this is true though, it really does make the Desmond dinner scene all the more telling...that throughout all those panels without dialogue, Donovan was absorbing the deepest inner thoughts of his family members (and again, no insight into his own thoughts, just like in chapter 38).
But if the "Donovan can read minds" theory holds true, then the most disturbing idea of all is that Donovan knows that Twilight is a spy. He knows that he's the target of Twilight's mission, and that Twilight seeks to thwart him. Not only that, but depending on what he's read of Damian and Melinda's minds, he knows that they're fond of Anya and Yor, respectively - people who are close to Twilight. Mind-reading powers in the hands of a child are one thing, but in the hands of a shrewd and power political figure...I'm both excited and anxious to find out what Donovan's next move will be!
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"What I Want"
Pairing: Demon!Dean x Reader Song: You’re All I Want - Cigarettes After Sex “We fucked so hard it left me faded for all you are.” Tags: 18+, first time having sex, teasing, fingering, PIV, guiding you through it. Y/N: She/Her virgin reader. Word Count: 1.7 K Summary: Dean called out for you as you hid. You had agreed to a game of hide-and-seek to keep him busy, but he quickly found you and reassured you in his bedroom, telling you that everything would be taken slowly. Next morning, resting in his arms, Dean felt immense happiness seeing you as everything he wanted. When gently waking you up, you looked up at him with puffy eyes.
3RD POV: (Bunker Kitchen)
"Y/N~" Dean's voice called out as you squatted in the pantry of the kitchen. While Sam was out looking for a solution to bring Dean back to normal, it was your job to stay in the bunker to distract him, to keep him from getting out.
He suggested playing hide-and-seek; if you won, he would listen to every word you said. But if he won, you'd be at his beck and call. "Come out, come out, wherever you are~" His voice echoed in your mind, quickening your heartbeat.
The corridors had been silent for a full ten minutes; apprehension began to set in, had he left the bunker? You didn't have much time to spend in your hiding place, where you had firmly decided to go and find him. "Gotcha," Dean said, the silence now broken, right next to you.
“Dean." your voice caught as you swallowed hard. "Do you remember our little deal?" he asked, the corners of his lips twisting in a smile. "Dean, I'm begging you." You looked at the hand circling your wrist-soft and yet unyielding.
(Dean’s Bedroom)
"There's nothing to be afraid of,” Dean murmured, his form looming above you, "I assure you, I'll go slow." You had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you agreed to his little game earlier, but now the reality of the situation was beginning to sink in.
As his thumb delicately drew circles on your stomach beneath your shirt, your mind was racing with ways to divert him from whatever it was he had planned. "Dean, seriously. We both know this isn't right. Sam could walk in at any moment," you protested. "What does it matter? Sam will understand," he replied with a teasing grin.
Dean smirked, his hands roaming over your torso beneath your shirt, sending a shiver down your spine. "Come on, I know this is what you've been craving since the first time you met me, the real me. You think you're good at hiding it? The truth is, you want me." And he wasn't wrong; that desire was there since the moment you first saw him. Yet, deep inside, you wanted to share this moment when Dean was truly himself again.
For Dean as a demon, you were just another body to warm his bed, but you had to hold onto that hope that somehow, somewhere the real Dean really did have feelings for you. "Come on, baby, don't hold back." His voice cut through your internal musing as he tugged your shirt over your head. The cool air of the room cascading down your spine.
You took a deep breath, realizing you had made your choice. If this was what Dean wanted and it was what you wanted, why hold back? As you wrapped your arms around his neck, you whispered, "Just be gentle with me." His smirk returned, playful and knowing. "I would never hurt you, Y/N. Believe it or not, you mean a lot to me, the real me.”
Dean, as a demon, had this attitude that felt like the real Dean, but it wasn't really. For one thing, he didn't have an ounce of morality on him. It sounded weird when he said he cared about you. The real Dean always kept things close to his chest, and Dean as a demon did that too.
"Can you imagine how long the real me has fantasized about you? You drive the real me crazy, do you know that?" Dean broke the silence; his fingers dug into your torso and left white imprints that seemed to disappear right afterward.
"Why not treat ourselves a little?" He grinned, lifting your leg onto his shoulder and trailing soft kisses down from your knee to your ankle, leaving you breathless. "I could never resist you, Dean; irrelevant who you're playing at the moment," you replied, your hand over your chest.
As he carefully slid your leg off of his shoulder, peeling off his shirt at a very sweet pace, you couldn't help but catch your breath when he revealed his perfectly sculpted four-pack. Although Dean wasn't nearly as obsessive about working out as Sam was, it would be a gross mistake for anyone to say he wasn't in top physical form.
He refocused on you, his hands sliding down your slender figure and finding their way to the softer curve of your stomach, where your uterus lay. "So soft, I love it," Dean muttered, leaning down to nip at that exact spot his hands had touched a moment before. The bite marked and slightly puckered.
“Dean, please," you whispered, your fingers gliding to his face, gently guiding him to meet your gaze. "Show me just how much you want me." A playful smirk danced across his lips as he made his way down, peeling your shorts away from your body along with your panties.
Dean smiled softly, his voice soothing as he said, "There's no rush, sweetheart. We can savor every moment." His fingers explored your warmth, which elicited a surprised gasp that you quickly stifled. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about," he reassured you, gently taking your wrists and guiding your hands above your head. "Dean…" you murmured, feeling the tears well up in your eyes. This wasn't how you had pictured your first time feeling like.
"Everything will be alright, love. You'll get used to it soon enough." He consoled, placing a gentle peck on your forehead that made your heart flutter with a tiny bit of comfort before his fingers started delving inside you once again, prompting you to close your eyes instinctively.
Dean leaned in closer, and against your ear, his warm breath whispered, "I gotcha, sweetheart. Just trust me and let go." His fingers continued to move deep inside you, a teasing prelude that sent a shiver down your spine, heightening your nerves for what was about to happen.
His fingers tormented you for what felt like hours, as you held on to the pillow, your wrists clasped tightly by him. He finally withdrew his fingers and brought them up to his lips, making sure to lick them off while staring intently at you.
Suddenly, you were filled with his hot, pulsating length, not even realizing when he had undone his jeans. As he released your wrists and placed his hands beside your head, your back involuntarily arched off the bed. Your arms clasped his neck again, holding him as if he was your anchor in the storm.
He wrapped an arm around your back, pulling you close to him while his other hand clutched the pillow beside your head. "I gotcha, sweetheart," he assured you. "Dean…," you whimpered, tears streaming down your face from the burning pain.
As he started moving inside you with the most delicate touch, more tears streamed down your face. "Shhh, you're doing great, love," he said in a whisper, pressing soft kisses against your cheeks where the tears fell, even as your cries grew loud. "It hurts," you whispered, your nails digging deep into his back leaving deep marks, which made him gasp in pain amidst his heavy breaths.
He whispered to you, "Trust me, you'll be feeling great in no time. Just let your body relax." As he loosened his hold on your back, he leaned in, pressing you against the mattress. Before you knew it, your tears turned to whimpering, then to moans that came deep from within, as your breathing grew quicker by the second. A smug smile spread across Dean's face as his thrusts quickened, slight groans escaping his lips.
You gasped, "Dean," your eyes fluttering as a wave of pleasure washed over you. "There’s the reaction I love," Dean replied, his lips teasing at your neck. His thrusts came faster, full of a desperate intensity, making the bed creak and sway beneath you.
You were so sure the bed was going to break under the noises it was making and from Dean's pace. You could only hold on to him, soft moans escaping your lips while silently hoping he’d protect you if the bed did come undone. "I've got you, don't worry," he reassured you as if his brain picked up your thought waves. He then captured your lips with his, your tongues dancing together while you both let out a symphony of moans and groans.
Your eyes suddenly widened, and your head leaned back, your lips breaking away from the kiss as an intense sensation began to rise up inside of you. Dean caught on in a second; a smirk began to spread across his face as he teased, "Go ahead, darling, let it all out. Show me just how good I make you feel." Before you could utter anything in return, you found yourself enveloping him with your warmth.
"Dean…," you panted, hoping he'd pick up on the cue as he slowed down, but then you saw that sneer creeping back onto his face as he sped up again. "No… it’s too much," you whined, your eyes fluttering shut as more pleasure washed over you. "I'm not there yet," Dean whispered softly in your ear.
Dean POV: (Next Morning)
As Y/N rested in my arms, her arm slung across my chest, and her leg thrown over my waist, I couldn't help but smile. She was everything that the real me had always longed for, and I was desperate to fill this want. If there was even the slightest chance that the real me could emerge from the depths of my soul, then I wanted him to have her by his side.
As I stroked her bare back, soothing her, she stirred a little in her sleep. "Hm. so warm," she murmured, still lost in her dream. I couldn't help but wonder, ‘Have humans always been this adorable?’ as she snuggled up to me closer. "Y/N, it's time to wake up," I whispered softly, running my fingers through her hair which made her flutter her eyes open.
"Dean…" she whispered, looking up at me with eyes a little red from the night before, and it stabbed me in the heart like an arrow. "I really am so sorry I hurt you, love; you just felt so good." I said, kissing the crown of her head softly, and she sighed happily.
She whispered, "I don't have the feeling in my legs," as her cheeks flushed a soft pink, and that made me chuckle soft and low. "No need to worry," I replied, lifting her effortlessly in a bridal carry, the blanket still wrapped around her. "How about I run you a nice bath, okay?"
I was literally kicking my feet and giggling while I put this together! In a previous post, I mentioned that TikTok was down in the U.S., which meant I'd be writing more frequently than just once a month. Well, guess what? It's back up and running! But don't fret, I don't think I'll be spending as much time on TikTok as I used to, so I will try my hardest to keep the writing flowing.
#supernatural#supernatural fanfiction#supernatural dean#supernatural dean winchester#dean winchester x you#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester
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𖤐One Kiss and A Quidditch Match — Chapter 6: A Quidditch Rivalry𖤐
Prologue (recommended to read)
Chapter 5 (previous)
Pair: Cedric Diggory x Male Slytherin Reader
Word count: 2.7K words
Summary of the book: You and Cedric Diggory hate each other. It has always been this way. But everything changes one night when you kiss each other at a party. Now, it seems you can’t escape each other — from being partnered up in Herbology for an important project to having to help Cedric during the Triwizard Tournament.
Summary of the chapter: Professor Sprout requests that you help Cedric out and befriend him. You meet him in the library and things don't go as planned
Notes: Please comment anything I should change to improve this. Also, I am not British so I am not 100% sure how to correctly write people from the UK.
Content warning: A lot of curing.
!PLEASE DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE WITHOUT PERMISSION OR CREDITS TO ME!
...
“No.”
Professor Sprout sputtered, “Mr. (Surname)—”
“I said no,” you spat, despite how disrespectful that was, “I don’t want to be associated with him anymore! I know I agreed to partnering with him for Herbology, but look how well that went. I’m sorry but you’re quite mistaken if you believe we ever got along.” And with that, you turned on your heel and walked off
“Mr. (Surname)! Please calm down and listen,” she said, running after you. For a teacher, she didn’t have much authority, “I care about my students-”
“No you don’t. You only care about the Hufflepuffs and those who take interest in herbology. But not me. Why would you? I’m just this silly little Slytherin who loathes your beloved Cedric Diggory.”
“Of course I care about you!” Professor Sprout said, “I hold all of the students close to my heart whether you know it or not.”
You stop and swivel around to face her, “Then why do you want me to spend time helping the person I despise most in the school? If you really wanted the “best for us”, you wouldn’t want us clashing again.”
A short silence passed between the two of you. The stout woman sighed, “Sometimes, what’s best for someone isn’t evident.”
“What do you mean?” You huffed, your confusion and irritation obvious.
“We can’t have the top students in Year 6 constantly butting heads. It’s not even friendly competition; both you and Mr. Diggory are constantly at each other's throats, whether it’s helpful to the situation at hand or whether it bothers everyone!” She explained, “And now that you are 6th Years, you hold so much more influence over your houses. Every corner I turn, it seems that no one gets along if they’re from different houses!”
You frown, perplexed at what she was talking about. Maybe it was because you stuck close to your group and didn’t bother venturing to make new friends, but you’d never seen any conflict between Slytherins and Hufflepuffs.
“I’m not actually aware of this, Professor.”
“Of course you’re not! You’re so engrossed in your rivalry with Cedric that you don’t notice how the problem’s spreading around campus,” Professor Sprout attempted to keep her voice soft as usual but it held a twinge of annoyance, “Now it’s time to grow up and forgive each other.”
You looked away, a bit irritated yet understanding where she came from. “Apologies, but I don’t like him enough to try and solve whatever’s going on. And, anyways, it’s been going on for a while, so it's kind of hard to forgive.”
“Well, do you even know how this whole deal started?” She asked.
The question made you pause, attempting to recall what caused you to hate him. You racked through your brain to find the root of the problem or even an interaction between the two of you before the start of your rivalry but your mind was blank.
“I-I don’t know, Professor, it just seemed to always be that way.” You furrowed your eyebrows.
“You don’t even know the root of your problem and look at how your relationship with him turned out!” Professor Sprout responded, then more kindly, “It’s unfortunate; Cedric — Mr. Diggory — is a kind lad, and you two could have gotten along quite well. What a duo you would have made.”
“And…you’re saying that kids younger than us are fighting because of us?”
“Yes, that’s the main issue.”
“Oh. So I have to…talk to him nicely to fix this?”
“Well,” Professor Sprout chuckled, “It’s a tad bit more complicated than that, but in theory, it could work. And who knows, you might even make a friend…or more.”
You gave her a slightly judgemental look but didn’t confront her on anything, “Did Diggory agree to this or…?”
“Well, actually, I visited him right after the first task and he was the one that came to me for help. Not specifically for your help but he was never very good at puzzles and I thought that you could use this opportunity to make up. He found it an excellent idea.” She beamed.
The fact that Diggory thought of it as a good idea to speak to you was suspicious but Professor Sprout tended to be a little positive when summarising things so you didn’t think much of it. But your mind wandered to the kiss you shared at the party. The one that kept you up at night.
“Fine,” you sighed, giving in, “I’ll do it.”
“Really?” You nodded apprehensively. “Fantastic! I’ll schedule a date with him and inform you then. Thank you so much, (Name)—Mr. (Surname). Sorry! I have to go now, so I wish you a safe return to your dorm or wherever you may be heading.”
You smiled and waved her goodbye as she slowly backed away.
At around 6 PM, she came to you as you were looking for a book at the library. She informed you that Cedric wished to figure out the egg’s secret as quickly as possible, so they scheduled the meeting for tomorrow afternoon.
For the rest of the day, all night, and the next morning, you pondered on what you were going to say to him and felt generally nervous about the interaction.
Your thoughts wandered to the kiss back at the party. It’s been over two months, and you still had it stuck in your head like a catchy song. Maybe you two could’ve been friends if not for the entire rivalry thing. Or more. The back of your neck grew warm at the thought. You quickly shook it out of your head.
As per usual, you informed Winnie (who reacted rather pleasantly to the news), Brian (who started theorizing the other possible reasons why Diggory wanted to meet with you) and Elsie (whom you felt you could trust and joined Brian in his speculation).
You didn’t inform Alistair, though. You hadn’t forgiven him for his rudeness after the first Task of the Triwizard Tournament and generally didn’t feel you could trust him with something like this. He always seemed to dislike Cedric more than you ever had and never handled his emotions well.
So after class, you bade Winnie goodbye as you headed to the library where you expected Cedric to be.
You found him sitting in a corner by himself, back to the window where the glass rattled, the shimmering golden egg on the table next to a book he was reading. On the table lay a pile of books. You recognized a few about riddles and old treasures. Diggory seemed focused on the novel in front of him, hand in his hair.
He looked so calm, so at ease, that you nearly forgot that you were supposed to hate him. Nearly.
The handsome Hufflepuff looked up as you approached him. His face was blank, but his eyes seemed to glare daggers into your own, taking you aback with how much hate was in that gaze.
Diggory stood up and walked past you, “Follow me.”
You gave his back a perplexed look but followed him nonetheless. “Where are we going? Why aren’t you taking the egg? Answer me, Diggory! This isn’t about wanting to apologise and becoming friends, isn’t it?”
“I’d never be friends with someone like you.”
“Then what do you want?” You replied, slightly peeved at his response, and somewhere in your heart, you felt stupid and betrayed. Of course he wouldn’t be friends with you. “Where are we going? Respond or I’m leaving.”
With that, he swivelled to face you, causing you to nearly bump into him, “I challenge you to a one-on-one Quidditch match.”
You stared him down, finally getting a look at his outfit. What you thought as his school garments were actually his Quidditch uniforms, and with all the hints he gave you, you realised he was leading you to the Quidditch storage rooms where the brooms were kept.
You stepped away, feeling a bit weirded out. Earlier in the year, you would’ve probably accepted his challenge, but now, with the knowledge of the conflict between your houses and the turmoil of emotion clouding your head, you hesitated. And that hesitation gave Diggory the information he needed to get your answer.
“So you’re too scared for a competition?” he snarled.
“No, I’m just being logical.” you huffed, peeved, “It’s a tempest outside. Too dangerous to use our brooms.”
“So what? I don’t mind the extra difficulty.” Diggory looked you up and down, a cocky look in his eyes, “But it seems you do.”
The challenge triggered something in you, “I never said I refused. Get ready to get your ass beat, Diggory.” You spat his name at him and brushed past him to go to the Quidditch storage where you knew they kept extra brooms. Whatever hope of fixing the problems with the Houses vanished from your mind.
You were going to crush that motherfucker.
You grabbed your old broom — which you had given to the school for their own use — and stomped to the back door the Quidditch players used to leave unnoticed by other students. Along the way, you passed little to no students, most locked up in their dorms, cosying up by the fire as they watched the storm pass.
As you expected, Diggory was waiting for you, a confident look in his striking grey eyes. “You regret quitting, (Surname)?” he asked, eyeing you up and down.
Since you quit the team, you renounced your Quidditch uniform and stuffed it in the back of your closet back home instead of throwing it out. Maybe one of your cousins would grow up to love Quidditch. Who knows?
But now, you regretted your decision not to bring it to Hogwarts as you stood in your school cloak and warm uniform.
You huffed, “I’ll only regret if I lose to you, Diggory. Which would never happen, no matter how we play this game.” After a short yet intense pause, you added, “How do we do this with only two players?”
“Good question,” he said with a smirk and pulled out a small golden ball, “The goal isn’t to score points but to catch the Snitch. But for a little extra challenge, we also have to avoid the Bludgers.” He patted a case next to him.
A bead of sweat ran down your neck, and you silently gulped down your nervousness. “Sounds like you put the odds in your favour. Can’t wait to see the look on your face when I obliterate you.”
Diggory clicked his tongue, brows furrowing slightly as he pushed the backdoor open.
A gust of wind bludgeoned through, causing you to block your face with your arm. Rain splattered you in the face, and you turned it from the entrance.
“Are you sure this is safe, Diggory?” You asked, hesitant.
He handed you big goggles and put his own on his face. “An Impervius spell has been cast on them, so you’ll be able to see.” As you grabbed it, he added with a sly grin, “I can’t be beating you that easily.”
You shot him a glare as you put the goggles on your head. It certainly helped against the beating rain, but you kept flinching when it touched your face. You hated playing in shitty weather.
Diggory stepped outside, and you followed, closing the door behind you. You had to slow it so it would slam loudly.
Once the two of you were in the middle of the court, you got onto your brooms, and Diggory released the Snitch, keeping it in his line of sight until it zoomed behind him. As the case where the Bludgers rattled, you felt your heart rate increase; never had you felt unsafe playing Quidditch — there was always a professor around and Slytherin Beaters having your back — but now, the vastness of the court and unseen danger of it all frightened you.
“Three. Two. One.” Cedric counted over the blasting wind.
“Go!”
Then the both of you took off.
You scanned the court for the minuscule ball of gold that circled the arena — which was difficult because of how foggy and rainy it was but mostly kept away from Diggory. That was until he flew right next to you.
“I’m going to release the Bludgers. Be careful.” He yelled over the roaring wind and pulled out his wand, heading away from you. Your stomach dropped as he said those words; you had secretly wished he had forgotten about them.
Despite the tempest around you, you somehow heard the chains of the Bludger case falling and the sound of them zooming in the air in search of you. You let out an unconscious whimper and gripped your broom tighter, heart pounding your chest.
The rain drenched your clothes and skin, sticking your hair and uniform to your skin. The roaring wind reminded you of a howling pack of wolves: hungry and ready to take what they wished to feast on.
Your eyes frantically searched for that flash of gold, eager to get the game over with. It was rather difficult, considering the amount of fog and rain hindering your vision and the wind beating against you and your broom.
You occasionally saw Diggory close to you or heard the sound of a Bludger, but every time that any of the two seemed to approach you too much, you quickly flew to a different area to search for the Golden Snitch as you fought against the harsh winds of the growing storm.
Suddenly, you saw a dark shape in front of you, zooming towards you. A Bludger.
You swerved to the right, barely dodging the ball and willed your broom to fly away as fast as possible. The Bludger chased you across the pitch like a starving lion chasing an injured antelope.
You rolled to the left, turned to the right, rushed up and dropped down, desperately trying to get away from it. It nearly hit you once, but instead ran into your broom. You hoped it wasn’t damaged. At that point, you had completely forgotten about the Snitch, the beating of your heart against your chest blurring your thoughts. You normally don’t feel this fear. You shouldn’t feel this afraid.
At some point, you’re flying neck to neck with Cedric. Throwing away your pride you yelled at him to put the Bludgers back in their case.
“What, are you scared? You’re backing out this early?” He mocked.
“I don’t give a flying fuck what you think; I value my safety. This is certainly not keeping me safe!” You growled, “Put the fucking Bludgers away! Ah!” A gust of wind had pushed you, and you nearly ran into Diggory.
“Safe? The way you’re flying isn’t safe!”
You grunted, trying to keep your broom under control, but for some reason, it was swerving wildly. “I can’t — It’s not doing what I want! What the–” You yelled over the screaming wind, your panic increasing and your stomach dropping.
By now, Diggory had noticed something was actually wrong, and you weren’t fucking with him. “(Surname)! Your broom is broken!” He warned, realising too late that the Bludger probably hit your broom, cracking it.
You swore under your breath, the crazy winds abusing your broom, and the ride suddenly worsened when your broom seemed to stop working altogether, causing you to go spiralling across the arena.
You held onto your broom out of fear as you screamed.
Oh God. Oh God.
You were going to die.
Suddenly, you felt your body jolt. You felt branches whip at your face and limbs, and your right arm felt numb and like jello, but the tree nevertheless caught you and prevented you from hitting the ground, which would have probably killed you instantly.
Your head felt light. You probably hit it when you crashed into the tree.
If this was how death felt like, you wouldn’t mind dying.
You closed your eyes, and it was as if the light in your body was snuffed out, and everything around you turned black.
#hogwarts#hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry#harry potter#cedric diggory x you#x cedric diggory#cedric diggory#cedric#cedric diggory x reader#cedric diggory fanfiction#cedric diggory x male reader fanfiction#cedric diggory x male reader#slytherin y/n#cedric x slytherin#slytherin reader#slytherpuff#x male reader#male reader#triwizard tournament#OKaAQM#One Kiss and A Quidditch Match#fanfiction#gay#mlm#enemies to friends to lovers#enemies to lovers#spin the bottle#cedric diggory simp#quidditch#enemies#this man definitely wants to be your enemy
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friendship will save me. friendship will show me the way
#lay text#really feeling this in late 2024 <33#i hope i'll build even more friendships & grow even closer#i was always desperately lonely growing up#i'm so grateful for radblr... i felt like a total freak#and a bigot and a loser and just. a bad person. i didn't realize how much i struggled w that til i joined radblr#libfem circles rly rly fucked me up#so thank u sm to all of u#i know we don't agree on everything all the time#and i know it's not always easy#but i do feel sisterhood#i rly truly do#and it means the whole world to me#i'm like tearing upppppgkdsjgkjsg cringe#but yeah idk i rly hope i'll make even more friends :'( <33#trying to find sane ppl to befriend irl too#i'm so tired of being told i'm a bigot for being homosexual or for believing that female/ofab rights matter too#alongside transfem rights etc#i'm so tired of saying the mildest takes ever and being hunted for sports in modern lgbt spaces. it's genuinely messed up#this is why radblr is needed more than ever before!!!#anyways. luv my friends
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I appreciate everything OP said here, and so much of it rings true. And while we're on this topic, I wanna bring up something I've been mulling over that I think is related.
We have got to stop thinking of marginalized people as a monolith -- even when that homogenized version in our heads is mostly positive. What I mean is that not every trans person is a good person. Just like not every cis person is a bad person. There will be trans people who are uninformed, willfully ignorant, rude, mean, abusive, manipulative, misogynistic, hypocritical, and honestly pretty bad allies to anyone who they don't understand or don't like or who challenges their worldview. There will be cis people who are extremely well-read on the issues, understanding, supportive, encouraging, open-minded, willing to listen & learn, kind, respectful, dedicated transfeminists, and honestly some of the best allies you'll ever have.
There is this sort of underlying assumption that trans people will always understand each other better than anyone else, that we are safer with our own, but that's not always the case. It is fair to assume that trans people are more likely to connect with and understand each other, but it is (clearly, as demonstrated) not guaranteed.
That's because we are humans! Humans are messy, complex, often hypocritical, nuanced beings. We all have different experiences, surroundings, relationships, beliefs, and priorities that make us who we are. Gender is just one facet of the many many things that come together to make us wholly human. Being trans doesn't make you a good person; it makes you trans. And while being trans may give you valuable insight on gender dynamics and trans oppression via direct exposure, it does not automatically make you a scholar or expert on all trans experiences or the historical context that feminism & transfeminism is built on. That kind of information must be actively pursued if you want a fuller picture.
This is why I've been going off about critical thinking so much -- because if you aren't being critical about this, it gets very very easy to fall into a reactive and/or bigoted and/or narrow mindset, and that can be genuinely harmful to yourself and others if you're not careful. Especially on Tumblr, where someone could very easily misrepresent their identity to stir up shit and push transphobic rhetoric behind the mask of an assumed ally. Thinking critically is a vital tool to help us avoid being manipulated by a false or disingenuous narrative.
When we say, "Listen to trans people," we mean that you need to pay attention to a wide variety of trans people and what we're talking about -- because we will and do agree AND disagree with each other on a number of issues all the time. But the more of us you listen to and consider, the more likely you are to see patterns of oppression and common trans experiences that will broaden your worldview and help you make a better informed decision about what to believe or what to look further into or how to spot common anti-trans sentiments/dogwhistles. "Listen to trans people" is not followed by the secret phrase, "and thoughtlessly accept everything they say about trans issues." Anyone who demands that you agree with them without room for question or comment or criticism is trying to control the narrative. Even if there is good reason to believe someone knows their shit, it never hurts to dig deeper into the worldview someone is trying to get you to internalize before you do so.
So, with that in mind, I encourage everyone to really take stock of their priorities & values within activism and judge people on their actual behaviors & impact & quality of information they present, NOT just their stated identities. If something a fellow activist said feels uncomfortable or rubs up against your values, it's okay to examine that feeling and ask questions to figure out what's at the root of it. The trans women who act the way OP described are not representative of all trans women, nor are they necessarily our allies. The same goes for misogynistic & transmisogynistic trans men. Or trans people of any sort who subscribe to any flavor of gender/bioessentalist ideology. That isn't to say that we don't fight for their rights or support them when they fall victim to systemic violence or ignore their issues or give up on trying to educate & elevate where we can -- we are still fighting the patriarchy for everyone's benefit. But, critically, we also don't have to accept hateful rhetoric into our communities and theories just because the fuckos spouting it off are trans.
honestly, as a trans woman who's running a fairly 'popular' or whatever queer blog, i've noticed so much shit in the past 2 years and i'm just gonna lay it out for y'all. it's a new year. it's 2025. i do NOT wanna carry any more of this bullshit forward. i'm calling everything for what it is. if this pisses you off, unfollow or block and move on.
as someone else put it in the tags on one of my other posts:
i am sick and tired of not talking about extremely important queer conversation topics for the sake of "keeping the peace".
this is not giving trans women and transfemmes a better quality of life to attack literally every every and all trans men for being trans men. it's making people fucking scared shitless of us. i hope people realize this isn't helping improve the opinion other people have on trans women and transfemmes. it's making people absolutely fucking terrified to even exist around us, because we've gotten to the point where we're attacking literally everyone and anyone who says something we don't like. people are fucking terrified of talking around transfemmes and trans women and it's time we broke the silence on that.
other transfemmes and trans women: do you seriously, really want other trans people to be scared to death of you? do you really want other trans people to be absolutely fucking terrified to speak around you because they're scared of getting fucking yelled at? do you really want other trans people to be utterly terrified to speak up about their own trans issues for fear of being told they hate you? do you really want other people around you to feel utterly terrified to talk about anything queer related at all for fear of being corrected, looked down upon, or verbally harassed?
i am just completely done with this environment we've fostered where basically everyone is on pins and goddamn needles holding themselves back from having real, genuine, impactful, substantial conversations about gender because they're absolutely scared shitless of being called transmisogynistic and publicly cancelled and harassed at all times for saying something as simple as "trans men don't have it easy" or talking about how AFAB people can also be trans. it really does not take much at all to set people off on this website and start accusing people of being transmisogynists left right and center.
i'm not participating in this weird mind game anymore. i do not like how this is being used to control the narrative on transness and trans experiences.
i am done with having to walk on eggshells in every. single. conversation. we have about gender.
i am done with acting like talking about transmasculinity and transmanhood is somehow magically attacking and silencing trans women and transfemmes.
i am done with people having to tack on massive disclaimers saying that they're not attacking trans women and transfemmes just for talking about their experiences on just about every post people write about gender.
i feel like every conversation about gender on here has to be so fucking sterile and calculated and meticulously planned out and stripped of most of its contents in order to not immediately get slammed with a "oh so you hate trans women" or a "oh so you're transmisogynstic." it's fine to point out genuine transmisogyny, i'm not gonna say you have to put up with it when it's real, but can we acknowledge that people are leveraging the fear other people have of being called transmisogynistic to shut people up?
at this point it's being used as a scare tactic and i'm so over it. i loathe how accusing people of being transmisogynistic is a default insult. trans men can't make a post about transmasculinity without someone getting pissed off and calling them transmisogynistic. trans men can't talk about a goddamn thing without being told to shut up, for some reason? why is this happening? like literally why are you doing this? trans men can't talk about ANYTHING at this point. like they needed to be able to coin words for the specific types of oppression they face so they could talk about it, and instead they just get fucking yelled at and told they're being copycats and that the violence they faced wasn't real? what the actual hell is this accomplishing?
why are we acting like we own oppression and no one else can even come close to understanding what its like? come on now, we don't own the goddamn concept of oppression. we also don't own transness. i am sick to death of this idea that transfemininity and trans womanhood are the only "real" ways to be trans. we do not own the concept of transness. it's not just about us. "trans rights" applies to more than just us. it can't be about us all the time. WE are the ones being self centered right now. WE are the ones who are forcing the conversation to be about us in situations where it's completely and totally inappropriate.
we need to say it for what it is: we're fostering an environment where, at this point, only trans women and transfemmes are allowed to talk about anything queer related at this point. like can we call it for what it is? for some reason, trans men and transmascs aren't allowed to talk about trans manhood or transmasculinity at all. ever. they're not allowed to say a fucking peep. they have to shut up and listen to a trans woman explain it to them, because for some reason, the trans woman knows trans manhood better than the trans man. this is out of fucking control, we should not have trans women explaining trans manhood to other people unless they are also a trans man. this is just unacceptable. transfems attack transmascs who speak for transfems, and yet this is seen as good and the norm?
you are not cool if you hate trans men and misgender them on purpose. this isn't feminist. this isn't progressive. you're not getting back at the patriarchy- most trans men do not benefit from patriarchy and never will- you would understand this if you listened to them. instead of talking over and for trans men, and listening to people who talk over and for trans men, if you listened to trans men, the source, you'd understand that no, transmasculine lives are NOT easy and no, trans men do not instantly benefit from patriarchal society if at all, ever. if you listened you'd understand that T doesn't make people aggressive and hostile and evil. if you listened you'd understand that there are a lot of wonderful, loving trans men out there are who are not transmisogynistic just by virtue of existing.
nobody is saying that we want to you prioritize men over trans women when we talk about trans men's rights. we're not saying that we need to talk about men all the time and never talk about women, and that men are the only ones allowed to talk, now. we really have to let multiple people participate in conversations. we can't keep doing this thing where One Gender Has To Be Superior Over another. that's gender essentialism. why must you keep yourself trapped inside the binary like that? why are you so desperate to stay stuck inside of the machine that's trying to destroy you?
challenging someone else's transphobia is not being transphobic. challenging someone else's behavior is not hating them or their gender. criticism is not an attack on trans womanhood and transfemininity. transfemmes are trans women are not immune to criticism and we need to stop acting like we are. we're not. we've created an echo chamber where only trans women and transfemmes are allowed to talk right now and it's not transmisogynistic to point that out, because it's literally happening before our eyes.
if we're demanding that other people treat us better, why are we treating other people like shit in the process to get it?
stop silencing other people talking about other trans experiences. transfemininity and trans womanhood are not the only ways to be trans. stop forcing yourself into conversations you don't belong in. if you don't want trans men do that, don't do it as a trans woman. don't barge into conversations you have literally 0 stock in just to be rude and mean and make the conversation about trans women instead. let other people talk. this has gone on for way too long.
let. other. trans. people. talk. we shouldn't have let it get this bad. but i'm not letting it stay this bad. if you want to accuse people having genuine conversations about transness of being transmisogynistic just because they're not a trans woman, then feel free, i'm not gonna stop you, but i'm not listening to you. i don't care anymore. i'm sick to death of not being able to have REAL conversations on here because some people don't like being reminded that they are not the only people who suffer under cisheteronormative patriarchy. if you can't accept that you are not the only one who suffers under patriarchy and that men need to be liberated from patriarchy as well, then i'm not interested in having a conversation with you to begin with.
seriously, if any of this bothers you, please just block me. i'm not participating in these dumb ass little mind games anymore. i do not give a singular shit about offending people who think this behavior is okay. i spent way too long being afraid to speak up about real world issues because of shitty internet trolls. i don't give a fuck if someone you don't like speaking about their experiences hurts your feelings- you are the problem here.
this is affecting real people in real time and i care about that. i care about people, not stupid ideologies and fighting over who is or isn't "really trans". i care about people, not fighting over labels. open your mind and understand that is is about real ass people, and not just ideologies. trans men and mascs are real ass people. they're not antagonists made specifically to attack and piss off transfemmes and trans women. enough of this.
#important#psa#transfeminism#feminism#transandrophobia#queer#transgender#gender#men for gender equality#internet safety
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The worst part about trying to figure out what Crocodile's deal is that because he's so fucking irredeemably evil in Alabasta... Like... Yeah he's just irredeemably evil. Like I love him but he did cause countless casualties, a ton of pain and suffering and literally attempted to blow up a million people
Like no amount of theoretical "trying to do it to save his son from the Government" or "trying to stop the Government from hurting anyone else" or just "doing it for the greater good" is going to make him any less of a mass murderer
But also Robin absolutely 100% helped with all of that shit simply because she wanted to read the Poneglyph for herself.
No amount of her intending to betray Crocodile from the begining and sabotaging his plans erases the fact that Robin also caused countless people to starve to death and die in the civil war. Her sabotages only succeeded out of sheer luck, and only spared the lives of the people at the final battle. She has the blood of countless innocents on her hands. Because she wanted to read history.
But her crimes were swept under the rug because she has a sad backstory and her sabotages worked out just at the nick of time by sheer dumb luck
So Croc??? Just??? Is there a chance??? At all???
But also he did literally intend to sell Buggy into slavery
Like, fuck Buggy, but jesus
What's also killing me is that we like. Don't know what Luffy thinks of Crocodile right now. Which really is like. The thing that will decide how we, as the readers, are supposed to feel about Crocodile. Luffy is our POV
Like we don't know what Luffy's opinion of Crocodile is after he helped save Luffy (and spared Ace once) during the Summit War. Like Luffy clearly fucking hated the man in Impel Down and the two interactions they had during the War weren't like positive (in the sense that Luffy himself didn't think of the interactions as particularly positive. Defending Whitebeard from being attacked once and then being like "wait what HIM?!" when Crocodile defended Ace. To be fair, in the midst of the chaos, there wasn't much time to spend on Pondering On Such Things because Ace needed to be saved, and Oda goes out of his way to not show us what's going on inside Luffy's head, because it's all meant to be out in the open anyways. Regardless, these weren't like "yay it's Crocodile! :)" moments for Luffy is what I mean)
But also Luffy was very grateful of Law for saving his life and was willing to put his trust into Law for their alliance- of course, they weren't explicitly enemies to begin with, rivals at most, but still. Luffy respects those who help him.
But also Luffy grew during the timeskip. Like he's not that clueless anymore (like he finally understands Hancock is in love with him etc), and similarly Luffy gets that Buggy is an absolute loser now. But also Buggy did also help save Luffy's life (even if it was by accident), and while IDK if Luffy is aware of that, I don't think that helped improve Luffy's impression of Buggy
So like. The fuck does Luffy think of Crocodile, at this moment? Even with the Cross Guild reveal, he didn't even really comment on Croc and just focused his energy on being confused about Buggy being "the leader" of CG. IDK it feels almost intentional or something, that we don't know what Luffy thinks?? Especially since we did get Zoro's opinion on Mihawk in the situation?? Or am I delulu?? (Sidenote. I'd love to know what Robin would have to say about Crocodile helping save Luffy's life. What Jinbei might think of the final words Crocodile left him with before blasting them out of Akainu's reach. But mainly just Robin's thoughts)
Like IDK my best guess would be that Luffy still hates Crocodile just the same but is like grossed out by technically owing him one??? In the classic
-kinda way, you know? And that he'd be just kinda confused about it?
Because I can't fucking imagine Luffy being like "oh we're cool now" with Crocodile, let alone "Yay Crocodile :) He saved my life!". But also like. Luffy does kind of owe Croc one. Kind of. And Luffy is usually very respectful of that kind of thing. Aaaaaaaa???
(Also does. Does Luffy even know it was Crocodile who yeeted him and Jinbei out of Akainu's reach to begin with. 'Cause he was unconcious. Knocked the fuck out. Does. Does Luffy even know. Did anybody tell him???)
I just.
There's the reasonable part of me that knows Crocodile is an irredeemable evil dickbag and everything he has ever said and done up to the most recent chapters support that. He is too far gone.
And then there's the absolutely delulu part that loves a tragic villian who gets a heartwrenching redemption that's looking for any fucking sign that could indicate Crocodile could maybe be one
#Moon posting#OP Meta#OP Spoilers#Sir Crocodile#Crocodad#Haunted by thoughts of one (1) evil middle aged man#IDK I was rereading Punk Hazard today while on the train and just. God there's like no difference between Alabasta Croc and Ceasar#I mean there is but no there isn't. Dude was doing essentially the same shit just this time with much more child abuse#And we all agree that Ceasar is scum of the earth and irredeemable.#But also he was doing everything PURELY out of self-interest without ANY sad backstory to counter balance it#I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE MAN I AM LOSING MY MARBLES#Kuma Flashback I Love You but I need to know what the fuck is happening with Crocodile so bad pleeeaaase#There's also like that note about Kuma saying he'd be wiling to make a deal with the devil just to protect his daughter#And If Crocodad Real. What a greater evolution of that but being wiling to BECOME the devil himself to protect your child#Also sorry about the Buggy slander but also not sorry. All that man is good for is being a punching bag for comedy as far as I'm concerned#He's very funny I'll give you that. And I'm looking forward to him and Shanks getting married
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bylers when over 350k people don’t have the exact same thoughts and opinions as them
#byler#stranger things#byler tumblr#i know some of us have been singled out or humiliated by others on here insisting we’re delusional for our theories#and so you compensate by doubling down and telling everyone else their theories are actually headcanons and yours aren’t#or maybe you are someone on the other end who is fed up with bylers reaching and are sick of group think having a place here#some advice: just let the show be whatever YOU want it to be#if you think everything you analyzed is right and everyone else is wrong#congrats#you are as pathetic as the rest of the fans who think the exact opposite and also think they're right and you're wrong#we are one of over 350k ppl with differing opinions and thoughts and experiences guiding us to coming to the conclusions we do#i don't mind ppl giving different perspectives to things even if it goes against my analysis (just don't be an asshole about it)#i have changed my mind about certain aspects of the show bc of this and i have changed other peoples' minds as well#without all of us being able to say what we think we would not have near the evidence we do now#but what comes with over 350k people in one space also comes with some semblance majority that feels a certain way about certain things#it's never going to be perfectly even across the board#what is believed and what is agreed upon will always be shifting as different people say their peace and as the show itself progresses#and hell even if you're the 3% that feels a certain way about something and think the other 97% are setting themselves up for disappointmen#bask in your perceived glory WHEN that time comes#but in the mean time... me personally?#i think it would be quite embarrassing if i devoted my time on here to telling everyone else their theories are wrong and mine are right#only to end up being the one that was wrong#let ppl set themselves up for disappointment#save the celebration for when you actually secure that win#for now#id rather be on here discussing my theories/reading others' theories that aren't rooted in tearing everyone else's down to feel superior#all of this is to say it is never worth making ppl feel like shit over a fucking tv show… I’ll never get that#and this is coming from someone who has no (current) plans to say i told you so (not even to that redditor that has a 2 year timer)#bc until s5 comes out...#crazy together
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Ok so, I've been in the process of writing a post beta canon fic, and a lot of what you've said strikes me as extremely relevant to the things I've been ruminating on in that process. And so bear with me but I'm gonna go through these points one by one, because while I think they all tie into the same central thesis, they are also compelling as standalone points and the worms demand I expound upon them in detail.
"I simply don’t see a world in which that kind of relationship dynamic/approach [of them abandoning their respective worldviews and convictions] would fit with their characterizations." So one of my favorite scenes in A Stitch In Time is the bit where they are having lunch with Odo, and Julian is essentially pushing Garak to (if he would come to be a leader of Cardassia postwar, which we know is exactly what happens) adopt a more Federation adjacent mindset based in democracy and freedom. And Garak gets upset. Irrationally so. And it's because he's on this precipice of great change and understanding within himself, at conflict with his more Hebitian values and worldview vs what he's been taught and brought up to believe in. He is actually very inclined to take a Federation approach for how his world (both his internal world and Cardassia as a planet and people) should be rebuilt, though still distinctly and independently Cardassian—or rather Hebitian, in it's construction and core principals. And coming to terms with the dismantling of his previous principals, ones that have always been necessary for Garak's survival, if ill-fitting, is a terrifying prospect. And so I love that scene, because that is the closest we get to seeing Garak feeling attacked and genuinely shaken up at Julian's convictions and how much they resonate with him. And so in rebuilding Cardassia as a more democratic society (even without losing some of their core and more alien beliefs) that is a middle ground I think Julian could understand and come to even appreciate, especially given his experiences with the Federation's dark underbelly. And let's not forget the central theme of the beta canon, which is Garak remaking himself and by proxy Cardassia in Julian's image specifically. Him finding in himself what Julian saw in him all along and rebuilding his world with who he truly is—with what Cardassia truly is, at the root. And so while I don't think they would be willing to abandon what they believe in for each other, they very much would be willing to shift their worldview to meet in the middle. And furthermore, I think Garak is the one doing the majority of the shifting in that theoretical. Especially given that it's less of a baseless shifting for Julian's sake alone and more of a growing into himself. Something he could only ever have done with Julian's forgiveness, patience, and unwavering sense of compassion and justice to help reveal himself to him. And I think my entire point here is the underlying reason why so much fic and fannon characterizes Garak as the one willing to bend over backward for Julian. He is more aligned to Julian's way of thought (deep down and under years of trauma and brainwashing) than he's wiling to admit in canon.
"there are never any situations involving these characters in which their fundamental values or institutional loyalties are challenged as a result of their relationship." I agree, and the lack thereof is forever a great disappointment, but as illustrated in all of Robinson's writing on Garak, their relationship causes an internal shift in Garak and causes him to see himself in Julian in ways that are uncomfortable and jarring (the same goes for Julian in the opposite direction, I believe) and causes him to question everything he grew up believing, and through that questioning he finds his true values, as he sees them, as indictive to his personhood, without the coloring of Tain's or The Union's influence. And so while there are never any situations which challenge their values, the relationship as a whole does. And again, I do think that is true for Julian, but eons more so for Garak. He does have to chose between Cardassia and Julian, but in a very abstract way. He has to chose between the old Cardassia (that traumatized him and eroded his personhood) and the core of himself that Julian not only saw so clearly but embodied in it's most flattering composition. There is a bit in Enigma Tales in which he ruminates on the way secrets destroy a person, specifically in reference to Julian. And I think that says, without outright saying it of course—in very Garak fashion, that he saw the best of himself in Julian, and he consciously chose that best moving forward, with Julian as a sort of guide.
"their friendship in the early seasons is usually framed as a respite from their serious responsibilities or moral dilemmas." Which is exactly the space Garak needs in order to work through the things I've outlined above. For the first time since his very early childhood he can be unguarded and find comfort—as opposed to paranoia, however mild—in companionship and learn to grow into himself in ways that don't seem very consequential at first (casually saying he "joined the wrong intelligence agency" in OMB comes to mind. It seems like a funny throw away line but given his character and history it is a HUGE admittance of personhood if you read between the lines) but that stack upon themselves to elucidate to him his own values and the harm done to him that snuffed them out over his lifetime.
"[Julian's] righteous anger at seeing those morals trodden upon is one of his most defining character traits" Which is exactly the type of push, in tandem with the aforementioned mirror that Julian is for Garak, that I think he needs in order to come to these realizations about himself. Garak has always been angry. But he had that righteous anger beat out of him from such an early age, and by the time he could recognize it (the Edosian Orchid assassination saga) he had no choice but to suppress it. To see it so unabashedly on display in Julian is not only invigorating to him, but vindicating too. One of my all time favorite aspects of their relationship and what Julian's friendship does for Garak is that he sees, for the first time, his sentiments ('the greatest weakness') as a weapon to be honed and thus wielded as opposed to a liability, which is what his own have always been for him, precisely because he was never allowed to explore that part of himself and learn how to use them to his advantage as Julian does.
"if we’re imagining them in a long term committed relationship? It wouldn’t be sustainable, and it doesn’t feel in keeping with Bashir’s character that’d he have endless reservoirs of patience and understanding specifically for Garak." But he would be vastly more patient and understanding, simply for the fact that he sees Garak, down to the bones, and he understands (especially after that novel length letter) the depths of Garak's internal conflicts. And (if he would come to Cardassia after reading such a letter) he would see that he is trying. His reservoir of patience wouldn't be endless of course, but it would be extended simply for the fact that he and Garak have lead such similar and parallel lives. The main reason they like each other so much is because they see themselves in each other, even if they're not exactly sure why at first. It's an immediate if inexplicable and intrinsic understanding that they have upon meeting that they are looking at another person who maybe doesn't fully understand them, but has the life experiences that equip them with the capability to.
"one very fundamental thing they have in common is how passionately devoted they are to their respective causes [...] I don’t see any version of Garak in which Cardassia is not his first love" Cardassia is absolutely his first love, and even after this internal shift that takes place in him he would never compromise or sacrifice her for Julian or anyone else. However, because of what Julian has been able to give to him—this painful rebirth of the self—he is the perfect person to understand what is necessary to lead Cardassia into a new and generative age. And so in helping Garak, Julian has been able to serve Cardassia as well, and in the capacity that it needs most desperately postwar. He shows Garak the need for one person to fall out of line in order to reinstill the fundamental core beliefs of the First Hebitians as applied to Cardassia's modern age, thus saving—if forever changing—the Union which his love for is defining. And so, in that framework, they can come together for a common goal: healing Cardassia. Garak wouldn't be equipped to do so without Julian's support and guidance, continually reminding him of who he really is and who he needs to honor moving forward. And so to me that is the most believable basis of them getting together postwar. They are both following their convictions and respective life paths, but in ways that they would never be able to without each other.
"For Bashir, there’s the problem of not only reconciling himself with what Garak has done, but also of choosing to be with someone whose impulses and entire cultural belief system places duty and institutional loyalty above personal feelings. And for Garak, there’s the fact that the most devoted and emotionally intense relationship he’s had in his life thus far has been with Tain, who embodied Cardassia for him" And I think here is where the most potential for conflict lies. Garak, and of course Cardassia by proxy, is still in that process of a painful rebirth. He is learning that having the permission to explore one's personal feelings and even act on them can be more generative to the individual and thus to the state than not. But he still has a lifetime of deeply ingrained understandings that tell him otherwise. And so, as his relationship with Tain mirrored his relationship to himself and his devotion to Cardassia, so does his relationship with Julian, but in a fresh and utterly inverse way. This is all still very new and at times very scary for him, and so I think he would need Julian's continued guidance and support so as not to fall back into old and safe patterns of thought and behavior. So to me, the central conflict between them post beta canon would have more to do with the two of them questioning if Garak really is capable of change, if he even wants to change, and what that change would actually look like. I think that, by the time Julian would go running off to Cardassia, he would have a fundamental understanding that Garak is trying, and in order to have even the inclination to go he would have had to already reconciled who Garak has been with who he is becoming/always had inside of him. The discord arises out of questions as to whether or not that internal shift in Garak is sustainable and if Garak can successfully break a lifetime of conditioning.
I feel like this has gotten a bit rambley on my end, so I hope I've been making sense. And I know this has all been very Garak POV skewed and that's my own brainrot and identity talking, and as with all headcanons and interpretations of media feel free to completely disregard everything above if that doesn't jive with what you see in their dynamic, but tldr: to me Garashir is about Garak learning how to find the things that were stolen/beaten out of him and how to honor his own personhood through the at times uncomfortable but always understanding mirror that is Julian Bashir. And through that lens I think them coming together post beta canon is a lot more understandable and fitting for Garak's character (as it's him doing more of the growing and concession making, imo) than is initially illustrated in canon. This coming together wouldn't be Garak abandoning his ideals for Julian's sake, but rather growing into his own long held if deeply repressed convictions that he is only able to see and embrace because of Julian and his own firm belief structure.
I’m trying to untangle The Problem of Garashir (not the least because, well, I’m writing the pairing) -
and I think honestly one of the biggest… roadblocks? bits of untapped potential in the pairing? is that we never really see their relationship put a strain on their ideological convictions.
Which is to say, “the societal institutions we’re subject to are corrupt, but our love is pure, so we’re going to abandon those institutions for each other” is, whether implicitly or explicitly, a common framing in fanfic featuring them (such as I’ve seen) - and to be fair, it’s a common romance trope in general. But I can’t say it works for me for these characters. And part of that is that imo the show doesn’t sufficiently set that up with its development of the relationship between these two characters, but another part of that is that I simply don’t see a world in which that kind of relationship dynamic/approach would fit with their characterizations.
To address the first point - there are never any situations involving these characters in which their fundamental values or institutional loyalties are challenged as a result of their relationship. At no point does Garak, for example, have to choose between Cardassia and his affection for Bashir. (I’ve seen people read The Wire that way, but I don’t think the reading works - The Wire is a fantastic showcase for Garak’s worldview and value system and the cracks and contradictions therein, but even though Bashir’s unwavering commitment to helping him despite what he’s done is certainly unprecedented and moving to him, his underlying value system hasn’t changed by the end of that episode.) And while Bashir’s faith in Starfleet and the Federation does get rocked quite a bit over the course of the show, it’s never because of his friendship with Garak.
Instead, I’d say that with some exceptions (like The Wire), their friendship in the early seasons is usually framed as a respite from their serious responsibilities or moral dilemmas. This especially true of Garak, who is likely not used to someone simply enjoying his company with no ulterior motives whatsoever, but the narrative maneuvering of the show also does a lot to shield Bashir from the reality of who Garak is. Yes, he gets a taste of that in The Wire, when Garak goes out of his way to impress upon him what the reality of his life as a spy truly was. But that’s still only verbal testimony, and only confined to what Garak has done in the past. Bashir is largely absent from all the shit that Garak pulls during the show!
And I’m not complaining that, say, the events of The Die Is Cast take place between Garak and Odo, because it makes thematic sense for it to be Odo for that arc. (And I love that friendship.) But Garak and Bashir do not get a plot like that, or like In the Pale Moonlight, where Bashir is directly exposed to or complicit in Garak’s immoral behaviour. The closest we get to an actual serious ethical clash between them is in Our Man Bashir, which is a goofy comedy episode. (And it’s worth noting that Bashir calls Garak’s bluff and shoots him in that confrontation! Yeah, he likely missed on purpose, given what we later learn about his magic hand-eye coordination, but he’s still unwilling to compromise on his heroism for Garak’s sake. It’s actually a pretty Cardassian gesture, which is probably part of why Garak loves it so much, but it does say a lot about where their priorities are re: their commitment to their values vs. each other.)
And I think the lack of more serious, plot-relevant ethical conflict between Garak and Bashir is a real loss for the show, because one thing I find really interesting about their relationship is that - in contrast to the examples of Odo and Sisko up there - Bashir is the person in the cast most able to hold Garak accountable. He’s repeatedly established as one of the most firmly moral members of the cast, and his righteous anger at seeing those morals trodden upon is one of his most defining character traits in the later seasons. His unconditional forgiveness of Garak in The Wire is lovely, and it is an important moment in the development of both their relationship and Bashir’s character. But in the long term, once we get into actual serious, consequential war and espionage plots? And if we’re imagining them in a long term committed relationship? It wouldn’t be sustainable, and it doesn’t feel in keeping with Bashir’s character that’d he have endless reservoirs of patience and understanding specifically for Garak. And it’s precisely because Bashir is uniquely able to grant Garak forgiveness that he’d also potentially be uniquely able to chastise him.
(This is why, by the way, my headcanon as to the in-universe reason why they don’t seem as close in the later seasons, paternity deathbed reveals and occasional flirty bantering notwithstanding, is that Bashir was seriously fucking pissed at the stunt Garak pulled in Broken Link, both in terms of the personal betrayal and the destructiveness towards sentient life, and that it created a significant rift between them.)
All of that is to say - my biggest regret with the show’s sidelining of their dynamic isn’t the fact that their relationship never becomes romantic (not a chance of that in the 90s, and also these writers were pretty terrible at writing romance) but that they never get to have an argument. An actual serious, non-flirtatious, two-sided, genuinely-angry-at-each-other-argument. I want to see conflict! (I honestly think that their exchange in What You Leave Behind comes the closest to the kind of conflict I’d like to pick up on in post-canon fic - where they are conciliatory in the moment but still have this really wrenching chasm between them, and unresolved frustration as a result of that chasm.)
So as an extension of these thoughts, I actually really like that we’re not given the basis for a traditional “us against the world” style romance plot. I like that these characters are clearly deeply fond of each other and significant to each others’ development, but have other important connections (Garak especially, since despite being only a recurring character introduced through Bashir, he integrates into the broader cast) and other priorities besides each other.
Furthermore, despite the significant differences in their value systems, one very fundamental thing they have in common is how passionately devoted they are to their respective causes. For Garak, it’s Cardassia. And while his idea of what it means to serve Cardassia, and what Cardassia needs, undergoes a lot of change over the course of the show, I don’t see any version of Garak in which Cardassia is not his first love. For Bashir, it’s altruism and helping people, as well as his intellectual curiosity - aims which are reflected in Starfleet and the Federation for him but ultimately higher ideals.
And I don’t think either Garak or Bashir would admire the other nearly as much if they were willing to let go of everything they hold dear for the sake of romance. They’re both far too committed to being a part of the world. Garak may have some fun with trying to shake Bashir of his optimism, but ultimately Bashir’s goodness, his fierce conviction that no one deserves to suffer, are among the most compelling aspects of his personality. And if Bashir is ever going to actually enter a serious relationship with Garak, he’s got to move beyond flirty intrigue and literary banter and see Garak as someone who’s proactively committed to goals that Bashir can respect. If they’re coming together as a couple, it’s because their aims and beliefs have come into alignment in some way.
And to be fair, a lot of post-canon Cardassia stuff is doing the latter. But I also want more… conflict within that framework, I guess? I don’t want a romantic relationship and the act of getting together to be the endpoint of whatever reconciliation of values they need to work through. And that’s part of what I’m trying to untangle in planning this fic of mine - especially regarding how fraught romantic commitment feels for them. For Bashir, there’s the problem of not only reconciling himself with what Garak has done, but also of choosing to be with someone whose impulses and entire cultural belief system places duty and institutional loyalty above personal feelings. And for Garak, there’s the fact that the most devoted and emotionally intense relationship he’s had in his life thus far has been with Tain, who embodied Cardassia for him - and as a result, I doubt he quite knows what to do with the possibility of a serious relationship with Bashir, who is very emphatically not Cardassia. He’s not used to being divided in his passions!
It’s not that I’m never capable of being moved by post-canon stuff that involves Bashir being charmed by how slippery Garak is, or them generally being quippy and fond of each other (I’m not made of stone here). But I’m never satisfied with just that, because that escapist element never feels like it translates well from the early seasons of the show to post-canon, and because it never engages with what I find the most fascinating about what’s set up with their whole dynamic. (And I especially dislike it when it feels like Bashir’s character is getting shortchanged in terms of his complexity and moral convictions being excised in order for Garak to get everything he wants.)
#yea. like I said Ive been ruminating on the idea of julian healing cardassia by healing garak. and how the fate lines demand that he end#up on cardassia. not purely for garaks sake. but for cardassias. this fic is huge and the themes have been crushing me but i find that read#of their relationship and the cosmic weight of it so compelling. and like op said them getting together for the sake of just wanting to isn#quite enough for me and requires a bit of suspension of disbelief. so in my mind they would both have to feel that their union is not only#supported by their convictions but in service of their convictions as well.#but yea. i think that by coming to the understanding that they both need to buckle down and make this work. not just for themselves but#for an entire planet. it could work. but absolutely not without strife. self discovery is always painful. however love really is enough.#not necessarily on its own merits but because it gives you the incentive to do the hard unfun work of healing#anyway. yea if i think about this much more right now i will get a nosebleed im sure of it.#regnarposting#garashir
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One of the funniest things about the QSMP finale was Pac going "Yeah, Cucurucho transferred my consciousness into this Egg body to save me," and Mike is immediately like, "Wait, why the hell didn't they save me?!?" pfttt
#i talk#QSMP talk#The Federation plays favorites#I do think it's very funny that he came back as a zombie meanwhile Pac just got to fulfill his dream of being an Egg#Mine: Hey do you want me to heal you up before you go talk to your friend?#Mike; putting on zombie makeup: Nah#Anyways. I am once again wondering why the hell people insist that Pac / Mike / Richas are dead#it's not even the angst-lovers it's also just randos who keep insisting this and I'm like#*violently shakes them by the collar* DID YOU EVEN WATCH THE SERIES???#I know we were all kinda :/ towards the end because of everything that was going on but#just because you missed a stream that doesn't mean your perception of canon is correct#Though I will agree that the whole ''Cucurucho / the Federation sealed away the Eggs'' thing is dumb#and I personally don't read that as canon#but that's because of all the outside stuff going on at the time#but in terms of purely canon story-related things I'm still baffled at the things people will completely disregard for the hell of it#Confident ignorance#Arguing about certain story choices? Sure I can respect that#Flat out refusing to say a thing happened period? Baffling#Anyways that's my rant for today. I was working on that edit again#still trying to figure out how I want to present it
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