#i know they do actually like my company

[machidielontheway]

i'm anxious about tomorrow cause i'll go see friends for a walk

and last time (i was also tired and it was cold) i went home and had a big cry cause i couldn't stop comparing myself to them in terms of interaction, funnyness, interesting, etc. i felt like i wasn't saying much and that much was not interesting, when they were saying funny things and there was that moment when you're saying / explaining / story-telling something and you can feel [narrator note : it was totally her vision of things and might not be true at all] when they're losing interest and not really listening and you just peter off talking because of that

and also one of them i don't see super often (but we go way back and always in a casual way, so in itself it's not a problem / impactful) but when we're in a little group very often (like near 10 times i think ? at least 5 for sure) i have said something - maybe under my breath, maybe unsure, maybe not very directed - and literally juste after she says the same thing as if she just thought it and i don't know if it's a "she didn't really heard me but heard enough that it makes her thought she came up with what she is saying, which is actually what i just said" of if it's a "she didn't really understand what i said / meant so she doesn't get she is saying the same thing" (also when she words for words say the same thing after... well). I have no doubts that she doesn't notice she does it, but it's still hurting me / hurtful

cause i feel like i don't have a place because i don't have a voice, and that i don't have a place because i'm not interesting / fun so it's not entertaining to hang out with me

and it feeds / is seen through (the lived experience of what i think is happening, and what i think is happening given my previous experience) by my ✨childhood friendship trauma✨ of two of my friends, who met through me, dumping me after a while of being cold to me cause, as i found while rooting through their stuff (listen i was 13 give me a break) (it was the era of note giving and notebook sharing every morning and i was NOT in this particular notebook sharing) that they thought i was super annoying (when we really had been good friends before, at least when they didn't know each other)

so my friendship fear is not in the making, it's in the maintening. i fear being annoying and unless i have somebody who is very clear / very showing in their behaviour that they appreciate me being here / spending time with me each time, well then i will just Try To Not Be Annoying which ends up with me not being much of anything at all, which of course doesn't help in return.

i'm used to it when we saw each other with A and B, it was not good but i can brace myself, but last week it happened with B and C, which i'm not used to (i think thus the big cry after) especially as C is also quite socially anxious, but she's actually VERY funny and engaging when comfortable. and now i'm like ah tomorrow i will see A, B, and C, and what will be of me ? what if i'm the only one being self-effacing out of anxiety of not wanting to be hurt (feeling like they don't care / don't listen) and they all say things that makes the others laugh ? and what does that say about me when this is supposed to be some of my closest friends ?

[slavhew]

lonely

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

[almondpiglet]

(wips) who here likes serijose or joserei!!! *exactly three ppl in the crowd cheer*

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

I'd like to congratulate you on getting your CPR certification.

Now remember, when you’re going in for compressions, it should sound like somebody is standing behind you with the worlds largest Dorito and cracking it open!

Go in firm and hard and snap as many ribs as you can on the way down, that means you’re doing it right.

You save that life. Good luck.

Or... Or... Or kill them, I don’t fucking care.

Audio source

[nerdymariamania]

As someone who's been a Team Starkid fan since the beginning, since 2009... do the young fans who only know hatchetfield know the old lore?? Do you know about crying in the choir room?? Do you know the door gag? Do you know Liam's got a phone call? Do you know about the iconic accidental sing along SanFran Con appearance? This isn't me being elitist or anything, I genuinely want to know! I just feel so very much older than all of you, all the time. Does anyone remember Tanya and her gay little blonde bob???

[naamahdarling]

Sudden and hard. Felt like a small explosion, like when the compressed gas factory a few miles away from my house exploded years ago, but with no sound besides the soft, faint thunder of a dozen nearby houses shuddering.

And our house shaking, obvs.

Cats were/are not happy.

[sluckythewizard]

'I wont cry for you, I wont crucify the things you do. I wont cry for you, see, when you're gone, I'll still be BLOODY MARY'

[moeblob]

I am really tired of a situation rn.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

okay, whoever started the whole thing about alex looking like a rat is fully responsible for the fact i am now the proud owner of a plush jellycat rat named alex 🫠

[adustoflove]

Growing up in a house where everything is an argument will really make you feel like everything is an argument

[shima-draws]

Me: Oh god. It's time for our company's yearly performance review. Where my boss will judge my performance over the past year and see how awful I am at my job and--

My boss: You're doing such a great job and I'm so happy you're here <3

Me:

[cerise-on-top]

I just saw your Graves with a tall reader, which I loved, so funny at times. So you know I gotta do it, can I request Graves with a short reader? Gotta boost that man's ego 💜

Glad to hear the Graves simps are enjoying my writing and want him to be doing well mentally! And I agree, sometimes you just need to make Graves happy since he, too, will notice your efforts and try to make you happy as well, even if he does it the Graves way!

Graves with a Shorter!Reader

Graves will have hit the jackpot with someone shorter than him in all honesty. As mentioned already, it’s in his blood to be bigger and stronger and scarier than his partner, which means he gets to protect them at all times. I can see him actually going for shorter people as well. While, if asked about it, he would always tell you that it’s because you have an easier time seeing just how reliable he is, in reality he just wants to feed his ego. He used to be taller than everyone else until he stopped growing, he really just wants to feel good about himself in all honesty. Every time he looks at you, he becomes aware of the height difference and sometimes the sly bastard even starts smiling about it. The bigger the height difference the better.

If he can literally tower over you, maybe trap you between him and the wall while he looks down at you, then all is good in his life. The shorter you are the better the angle at which you view him. He can toss his hair back and it will look as though he was in some series or movie with an attractive lead, in his eyes. Besides, he also gets to tilt your face so you’ll look at him when he’s talking. In all honesty, he genuinely believes he can fluster you more easily when he’s the taller one, and he genuinely just wants you to be speechless at least once in a while. Will sweet talk you while putting his fingers under your chin.

He’s also more prone to letting you be the big spoon, or lets you hold him more often in general. You being his backpack is funny to him, as mentioned before, so he will take his sweet time enjoying the feel of you being tiny. Again, if it was up to him, you’d be roughly 1,50, or something around that. That way there would, at the very least, still be 15cm between the two of you. Graves is a very touchy person in general, so don’t be surprised if he walks up to you and puts his head on top of yours, maybe even trying to put some weight of his on you as well so you can feel just how powerful he is. You’re more than welcome to try and shake him off, though. He will feign hurt, but it amuses him anyway.

Remember how I said Graves would be even more butthurt if you crack a few too many jokes about his height when you’re taller? He’d have his fun with someone who is sensitive about their height. You will constantly hear him refer to you as his little something, whether that be little sweetie, little honeypie or even his little pile of sugar. As long as he gets to emphasize you being the shorter one he’ll be happy. If you’re dysphoric about your height, then he’ll stop, but if you’re only mad because of a relatively harmless reason, you’ll never hear the end of it. Might even crack a joke such as pointing at a skittle on the ground and saying it’s almost as small as you are. The bigger your reaction, the better. Force him to sleep on the couch and he might stop for a day or two, but you can never get him to permanently stop.

Loves picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. You can struggle all you want, this man can carry his own Shadows over his shoulder while they’re struggling, so you don’t really stand a chance against him. He gets all the more smug if you do struggle since he knows you won’t be able to escape him. It’s things like that where he wants to show you that he can easily overpower you, but he can easily protect you as well. Just be his lovely little partner, don’t grow too much and you have a loyal guy at your service until the end of eternity. Also, he will hold you over his head and comment on your cuteness. Graves doesn’t get cuteness aggression, but he could pretend he does and squish your cheeks whenever he feels like it.

Will pick you up and sit you down on his lap as well. Yes, he will wrap his arms around you as well and render any attempt at escaping futile. Besides, getting to hold you does reassure him quite a lot. His world is in his arms, safe and sound, and he gets to pretend he’s still a cool man. He genuinely believes you think him to be a badass, even with all the teasing and whatnot. Graves has a somewhat high opinion of himself on a good day, but you can still reassure him that he is pretty epic. You can comment on how strong he is and he’ll likely flex for you, offering you to touch his bicep. But at the end of the day, barely any of this matters, what’s important is that you wanna stay with him and feel like there’s a future ahead for you. Give him a kiss and tell him you admire him and he’ll be over the moon, regardless of whether you’re shorter or taller than him.

[mixelation]

What does training for an insulin pump encompass? Why is it necessary to train for one?

so, i guess to answer this fully, i should clarify what an insulin pump is. it is a wearable medical device that continuously administers insulin. basically it's a very fancy box with a cartridge of insulin attached to me by a tube for the purpose of giving myself insulin, replacing the need for multiple daily injections

for me, training was a two hours one-on-one session. it included learning how to use the actual equipment (loading insulin, inserting the infusion set, how to unhook myself from the pump to take a shower, how to give extra insulin for when i eat, what warnings mean, etc) as well as setting up the pump with settings as suggested by my doctor & syncing it with my cgm, suggestions for how not to break my pump and set my settings so they're actually useful to me and my lifestyle, suggestions for my own safety & what to do in case of emergency, and also let me have one on one time with an expert to ask questions

many of these tasks could probably be self-taught with a few youtube tutorials, and i thought about just slapping it on without training more than once as i just had the pump sitting my my room for almost two months. however administering insulin incorrectly can easily lead to a hospital visit or death, so i held back lmao

[sciderman]

How do you feel about the increase in really weird NSFW ads on here (advertising panels that look like sexual encounters, and AI art apps that pride themselves on porn) but will take down NSFW posts from their users, even if it isn't technically sexual.

i hate all social media and it's consistent prioritising the advertisers over the users and the internet simply was a better place before capitalism sunk its hooks into it