#i know that this is reductive but the tone of the two is just so *insanely* different that it's shocking

[andromeda3116]

you know i wonder where the essay is, i certainly don't have it prepared, what it reflects about society, that the '99 trigun was a fun action western-sci-fi anime with a plot that wove itself out slowly and had plenty of heart that got serious eventually but was also a quirky romp through most of its run

and the '23 trigun stampede is a dystopian sci-fi set in a crumbling desert that can barely support life with a dark plot that drags you under immediately and also does have a lot of heart but ultimately appears to have the theme of scavenging that heart from a place that gives you no reason to believe it exists

like, as time capsules i feel like it's unintentionally saying something about us, about where we've come to and come from, that the same basic story is told in two such wildly different ways, after less than a quarter-century

[starrycassi]

Today in Jean and Neil's bestfrienderism. With a side of Andrew being Andrew. And domestic Andreil.

.

Jean is having a panic attack.

Well, not quite. It's not a full blown attack, yet. But it is close. Very, very close. He is thirty. He is alive. He is Jean Moreau and he has endured so, so much. He is, somewhat, free. As free as the cattle are in a pasture. As free as the shrimp are to the breeding pond.

He has a wonderful husband. He is reconnecting with Kevin. He visits Cat and Laila whenever their schedules allow them the time to do so. He has a dog — well, he technically has three. Charbon is his, and his alone. She is a wonderful Black Labrador that Dobson appointed him. The other two, Caramelo and Dulce, (both named by Catalina, of course) are his and his husband's.

Charbon is moving as soon as he's clawing at his neck. She knows what to do. She knows what to do.

"-breathe. In, and out. Com'on, Jean. It ain't hard. In, and out. You're, like, an athlete. In, and out. You don't even smoke. In, and out. Drew? Water, yes. In, and out."

That's, unfortunately, not the voice of a cybernetically enhanced service dog. It's a different type of animal. Neil Josten.

He manages to make his brain claw around, trying to find where his hand is (in his neck, of course) and puts it up, flipping the bipedal cockroach off.

.

Jean doesn't have a panic attack. Thanks, Charbon.

He's still on the edge. He plays with the dog's ears, floppy and bendy. She seems content to let him do so. They're all on the floor. The two cats are in Neil's lap. Andrew is in the kitchen.

"Breathing okay? Didn't break a rib, did you?"

Jean flips Neil off again.

"I take that as a no. But we did do a RCP training course, you know? Aaron was being a little bitch about me being 'death-prone' or whatever. So you wouldn't even have died. Not on our watch"

"Pretty sure RCP is not the standard solution to panic attacks, junkie" Andrew says, sounding bored, while he walks into the room, tray in his hands. "Panic attacks, also, don't really kill people that often. He would've fainted, at worst"

"Should be standard. Gets the heart right again, does it not?"

Andrew drops the tray to the floor. Only, he doesn't drop it. The jug full of ice and water is intact, as is the glass right next to them. Jean serves himself a glass, drowning it as quickly as possible. It stings. It helps, with the whole "I hate my throat" thing. Harm reduction, Dobson called it.

"You're such a fucking idiot" Andrew says, before reaching down to tug Neil's hair. Neil looks up, their eyes lock, and Jean feels so disgusted that he almost forgets why he's on the floor, to start with. Can they be any less PDA-inclined?

Then again, Jeremy and him are worse. So.

There's silence. And, then, "Jean. We could find a way"

Jean is confused. Andrew, clearly, is not. Jeremy and him love each other, but even theh can admit that there's no other couple with such a level of telepathy as the Josten-Minyard one. It's quite off-putting.

" 'We' sounds like a lot of people" Andrew complains, his tone one of slight annoyance. Regardless, he drops down next to Neil. One of the cats migrates to his lap. He absentmindedly scratches its head, just like he did Neil.

"I'm not following"

They both look at him like he's an imbecile. In return, he glares.

"To get you out of the contract" Neil clarifies. Except, that doesn't clarify anything. Jean Moreau, even as a free man, belongs to the Moriyamas. Not the Nest, or Riko, anymore. It's as much freedom as anyone like him can wish for. Jean Moreau has, is and will endure.

Yes, he hyperventilates whenever the topic of children comes up. Because Jeremy wants kids. A big, happy, loving family. Jean, unfortunately, wants the same.

He doesn't want kids as much as he fears his debt. Their future. His work. Their worth.

Andrew made the offhand comment of Aaron's twins coming to visit next week. About how it seems that the whole group of "Neil's friends" are eager to overpopulate the world with mini nuisances and how he pitied the teachers that had to ever work with such offspring. How it feels like they're the only ones sane enough to avoid such a burden. He didn't mean anything by it. That didn't stop Jean from spiraling. Intent and reaction are, often, not the same thing.

"I stress that you should just get the Care Bear to replace you. He likes Exy. He likes you. Surely we can guilt him into agreeing"

"Non," he answers immediately. They've had this conversation. Jeremy has offered. Jean has refused. It is enough, that one of them is tainted by the Moriyamas. Jeremy's life is not and has never been perfect, but Jean refuses to add a whole ass mafia deal to that.

Andrew shrugs, unapologetically. Jean is not offended. Andrew is a no-nonsense kind of man. A "straight to the point" kind of man. He, probably, thinks that his suggestions are helping, somehow.

"There has to be another way." Neil muses, looking at the ceiling. "We already negotiated with Ichirou, once. Maybe time's made him softer? He's got kids, now. Fatherhood softens people up. Or so I hear."

"Your father tried to kill you. At least thirty times. Almost succeeded half of those, too" Jean reminds him, trying to stay out of the whole family conversation. Neil has never been one for careful sentences. He doesn't mean anything by it. Then, again, intent and reaction.

"It's his personality. He brings out the worst in people" Andrew adds, interlocking his pinky with Neil's pinky, before leaning in and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. Gross.

"Rude. Also, Ichirou is way more level headed than Nathan. We could try, at least."

"Absolutely no, you neuron-lacking flea."

"Over my dead body, Josten."

"Again, rude. You two never let me have any fun. Kevin is influencing you too much, I swear."

Jean doesn't feel like thinking about Kevin, so he takes out one of the bobby pins in his hair and throws it at Neil's face. Andrew snorts. Charbon looks at the interaction with curiosity. So does Neil.

There is silence, again. For a while. And, then, "Neil will play Exy until he can't, anyways" Andrew points out.

Jean is confused. Neil, clearly, is not. He looks at Andrew with such an open expression of vulnerability and worry, that Jean has to look away.

"Drew, you know that-"

"I said 'life', didn't I? Same team. Same house."

"Five years ago."

"Haven't changed my mind."

"Still. I know you hate it."

"As much as I hate you. I've put up with you this long. I will handle it."

"Are you two always this fucking cryptic? Jesus Christ"

They share a look. Andrew nods. Neil hesitates. Andrew pokes him in the ribs.

"Andrew is willing to make a deal. We- we talked about it, some years ago, when Kevin had that skating accident. It's, uh, a backup plan. Asking Ichirou to pass the contract down."

"For a price." Andrew adds. As if that isn't the most unhinged, crazy and stupid thing Jean has ever heard them say. And God knows that that's a very high list.

"You're joking with me."

"Do I look like a fucking clown, Moreau?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. I will not pass down my burden to you. Plus, it is, surprisingly, a decent plan. There is no other goalie out there who is making more money than you. Ichirou would be stupid if he didn't agree. Which means that you have to keep that option open. Neil is constantly looking for new ways of getting himself killed. I will not tolerate having you, either of you, on the chopping block for me. Not if I can help it"

He is angry. Do they think so selfish? So entitled? So uncaring? He feels nauseous. Charbon puts her paws on his chest, licking his face. He shouldn't feel offended, but he does. They don't mean anything by it. Intent, reaction.

"I'm already involved with our dear asian Shobhuza. Pretty sure he doesn't like me, already."

"Non. Absolutely no. Don't even- no. No. Are you listening to me? Never."

They glare at each other. Years ago, Jean would fold, Andrew's gaze reminding him too much of handcuffs and needles. He doesn't.

"Dramatic" Neil mutters in singsong. They glare at him, now. He has the audacity to giggle.

"We'll figure something out." he says, so sure of himself. How can someone so short be so full of confidence, Jean will never know.

"Even if we don't," Andrew adds, with something close to warmth in his tone, "surely the two of you can survive without passing on those dreadful genes of yours for a few more years"

"We were thinking of fostering" he murmurs, softly. So softly that he's unsure if they heard him or not. Andrew freezes, midway through petting his cat. Neil's eyes widen. Charbon gives a friendly bark.

Andrew and Neil look at each other. Do they ever do anything else?

"We'll find a way," Andrew says. Promises. Begs. Asks. Neil nods, gaze heavy with duty. They hold hands. Neil squeezes. Andrew squeezes back.

Jean feels like he might have another panic attack. How can they be so reckless? For him, out of all people?

Then, again, he would do the same. Sacrifices and promises.

Is there any other way to live?

[leclercstars]

Love the Rockstar fics so far, something kinda related, do you think you could do something where the reader has boobs on the smaller side and is a bit insecure about them and her bf is rambling how much he loves them and doesn’t care about the size?

Love your account btw

FIRST REQUEST FIC YAY!!

bali blues. 🌊

Lando Norris x Reader

Warnings: not many it’s mostly fluff tbh, some cursing, mentions of sexual scenarios.

*full disclosure this one was a little hard to write since I have like need a breast reduction sized boobs but i tried my best!*

“Honey, i’m home!” you giggled as you bounced through the door of your apartment. Shopping bags lined every inch of your arms as you stepped into your bedroom where Lando was impatiently waiting.

“Finally!” he beamed at you.

You two had been planning your first couples trip to Bali for months now, and you had just gone on a massive shopping spree in search of the perfect swimsuits to flaunt around in.

“Please try them on for me I have been waiting ages for this moment!” Lando was bouncing excitedly, eyes wide as he waited for you to strip down.

“Okay okay! Don’t sound so desperate!” you laughed at him.

You turned and faced the wall to take off your clothes, slipping into the first suit, a high cut one piece that accentuated your toned figure.

You turned back around- doing a cutesy little spin to show off for Lando.

“You are PERFECT, y/n.” his jaw was damn near to the floor.

“Need to see the next one immediately.”

You blushed and went to strip down- but in the middle of taking the suit off Lando interrupted.

“Why aren’t you facing me? You know how I love admiring every inch of what’s mine,” he said.

You cringed. Suddenly everything felt very hot, and there was an awkward tension hanging in the room.

“You know i’m insecure about them,” you whispered.

“About what?” Lando’s innocent confusion was charming- but it certainly wasn’t helping you in the moment.

“My tits!” you yelled at the wall.

You were barely an A-cup, and ever since you started dating Lando you had noticed all the comments online about the way you were built. Flat, boyish, a whole host of other jabs making fun of your lack of womanly curves. Lando had never made you feel like he didn’t like your figure- and he damn near worshipped your tits during sex despite their size- but it felt so much different when you were just changing in front of him.

“Baby, please look at me.” he said in a gentle tone. His eyes softened as you turned towards him- the swimsuit now around your ankles- as you crossed your hands over your bare chest.

He placed you gently on his lap- and it was like he was baring into your soul. He moved your hands away from your boobs- gently and cautiously- as you now sat fully exposed on top of him.

“You are absolutely perfect in every way- and I especially love your tits. The way they look perfect in every outfit you wear- god especially those tiny going out tops- and how they fit so wonderfully in the palms of my hands. I love how they look during sex, after you get out of the shower, or when you’re just lying around the apartment naked. You look like a goddess every time I lay eyes on you.”

He was melting your insecurities away with each word that trickled out of his lips.

“What do they call it? The Itty Bitty Titty Committee? I’m the president of the fan club” he grinned at you.

You laughed sheepishly at his remark, and nuzzled your head into his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around your waist. Bali won’t be so bad after all.

[rottenfyre]

sorry if this is random or you’re having to repeat yourself but

from what i’ve seen/read of yours, you seem to lean team green and i’m just wondering if that’s right?

again don’t want to start like an argument or some stupid fucking discourse over a FICTIONAL world but i just find it really interesting hearing other people’s opinions.

so basically i was just wondering if you do back the greens, is it because you believe that aegon should be king because he’s a man, or based on the books i’m guessing, would be a better monarch bc of characteristics etc…

coz don’t get me wrong i love show alicent and show aegon is easy to sympathise with but when i read fire&blood and watched hotd i thought that no one was really team green because rhaenyra was chosen by the king to be queen, and then was usurped because of her gender, not her ability to rule or anything.

just feel like i need to clarify again, i seriously don’t rlly care that much if you are team green and for whatever reason, i just love having discussions like this!

so i would love to hear your thoughts and opinions! love you’re writing btw!!

Alright so if you didn’t know, I run another blog solely dedicated to Tom Glynn-Carney. I’m into Tom, not Team Green. My fanfics are written because I find him beautiful and talented, and that includes the characters he’s portrayed. I’ve always been clear that I’m his fan, not necessarily a part of the HotD fandom or a staunch supporter of the Green faction. But overall I write for every character in Asoiaf world, because I'm a fan of books. Hopefully, that clears up why my fanfics have the tone and focus that they do.

Now, to answer your question: do I think Aegon should be king simply because he’s a man? Absolutely not. Likewise, I wouldn’t support Rhaenyra just because she’s a woman. Both these views—gender alone being the deciding factor—are reductive and ignore the complexities of the Dance of the Dragons.

The book makes it clear that the Greens didn’t challenge Rhaenyra’s claim purely because she was a woman. Aegon’s gender was used as a convenient argument, but the underlying reasons went much deeper. If Alicent had only daughters, I firmly believe the Greens would have found another way to challenge Rhaenyra. The succession conflict was less about misogyny in isolation and more about political, familial, and personal grievances.

What I find puzzling is how some people can sympathize with Aegon in the show but not in the book. Aegon’s characterization in the book, while flawed, is far more nuanced and less morally damning than his portrayal in the show.

Aegon is not a rapist. Yes, he is guilty of inappropriate behavior like groping maids, but there’s a significant difference between unwanted touching (which is still wrong) and outright sexual assault. The show’s portrayal exaggerates his flaws to a point where it distorts his character entirely.

Aegon loves his family. He isn’t a bully to Aemond and shows care for his siblings. His relationship with them is much less contentious than what the show depicts.

Alicent is not an evil figure akin to the "evil queen" trope. She’s more akin to Catelyn—a protective mother who is fiercely loyal to her children and acts out of a sense of duty and love. Her treatment of Rhaenyra, while harsh, is understandable given the political and personal feelings she endured.

And most team green fans that I saw are book readers while show watchers mostly support team black.

Rhaenyra, in both the book and show, demonstrates poor leadership qualities. However, there are key differences between the two portrayals.

In the books, Rhaenyra at least has the courage to pursue her ambitions. She’s unapologetic about her desires and choices, even if they’re flawed. However, her tenure as queen was disastrous. She neglected her responsibilities as heir and, once crowned, failed to rule effectively. Her leadership destabilized the realm further and led to significant losses, including the destruction of dragons.

In the show, Rhaenyra is portrayed as hesitant and indecisive. She’s framed as a "chosen one" by the gods, universally loved and morally righteous, which feels unearned. Despite having more dragons and greater initial support, she fails to secure her claim effectively. Alicent practically hands Aegon over to her.

Meanwhile, Aegon in the show has absolutely nothing. Unlike his book counterpart, he doesn’t have his family’s loyalty, his dragon (Sunfyre is dead), or even his crown. He has no army, no support, and yet he still going to kill Rhaenyra and take the throne back. Why would I root for Rhaenyra in this scenario?

In the book on the other hand, Aegon proves himself during the Dance. Initially reluctant to rule, he grows into the role and accepts his responsibilities. In the books, Aegon wanted to remarry for duty, seeking a legitimate heir rather than marrying for lust. Defeats Rhaenyra, retakes the throne, and restores order to a realm she left in chaos. Punishes those who harmed dragons, showing a sense of justice and loyalty to his family’s legacy. And so much more.

If Aegon was sitting on the throne during Rhaenyra's time on the throne, I believe he would have prevented much of the harm done to the dragons and the realm. His leadership during the latter stages of the Dance demonstrates his growth and potential as a king. And unlike Rhaenyra, he actually listen to people who are wise and smart.

That said, the one character who truly deserved the throne was Daeron. He’s portrayed as intelligent, dutiful, and competent—everything one could want in a ruler. If Viserys had named Daeron as his heir, the Dance likely wouldn’t have happened, and the Targaryen dynasty could have avoided its catastrophic decline.

Some argue that Jacaerys should have been king when I say Daeron deserve the throne, but that argument doesn’t hold up. It’s equivalent to claiming that Joffrey or Tommen were legitimate kings, which they weren’t because they were bastards. Similarly, Jace and Luke’s status as bastards makes their claims to the throne invalid, regardless of personal feelings toward them.

Daeron, by comparison, outshines Jace in every way—leadership, legitimacy, and potential. Had he been given the opportunity, Daeron could have brought peace and prosperity to the realm.

Ultimately, my perspective is shaped by the source material. Aegon, despite his flaws, demonstrates growth and proves himself as a capable ruler during the Dance. Rhaenyra, on the other hand, fails to rise to the challenges of leadership and leaves the realm worse off. While Aegon was a better king than Rhaenyra, Daeron remains the most deserving of the throne due to his competence and character.

Yet again, I'm a fan of Tom and Asoiaf not house of the dragon. And thank you very much for being respectful and I'm happy that you enjoy my works.

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 6 - 26

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3, Honor Bound 4, Honor Bound 5, and the prequel Vera.

AO3

Masterlist

Contents: PTSD, past captivity, references to being unsure of reality, thoughts of murder, self-harm themes, bad reaction to discovering self-harm, harm reduction, recovery

~

Isaac felt better already, knowing there was a locked door between him and the rest of the world. He had locked it behind Vera and Tori as they came in with tonight’s dinner: a hearty shepherd’s pie with rich bites of tender chicken, carrots, and potatoes all in a mouthwatering gravy. Once he had locked the front door, he had walked to the back door and made sure – for the second or third time since he’d gotten home – that it was still locked. It was, but it didn’t hurt to be so sure.

Edrissa had gotten into the house through the unlocked back door and then held a knife to Gavin’s throat. Isaac would have to be stupid to not check, and recheck, and check again.

Isaac sat on one side of Gavin on the couch, and Gray sat on the other. Vera, Sam, and Tori sat sandwiched on the other couch. Now that everyone was finished with dinner, Gavin leaned against Isaac’s side, and Isaac’s arm was slung over his shoulders. Gavin wasn’t shivering for the first time since they’d left the house that morning. Isaac was sated on two large slices of shepherd’s pie.

And yet, he ached to be holding his gun. The concerned glances Vera was throwing him weren’t helping.

“Thank you so much for bringing dinner,” Gray said, finally breaking the silence. “Did you make the pie, or buy it in town?”

“Bought it,” Vera said with a chuckle. “I appreciate your faith in us, but after everything… um. Recently.” She gave a stiff shrug. “Neither of us have felt like cooking.” She smiled tiredly at Tori over Sam’s head.

Gray let out a huff. “Same here,” they said gently. “But we’ve all been… through a lot. I don’t think anyone’s expecting anyone else to be out there crafting gourmet meals.”

“Except Edrissa,” Vera said tightly. “Apparently she’s been, uh… helping Meredith out. With the pies at the general store. Spending most of her time there, actually.”

“Really,” Gray said. Their tone was perfectly even.

Isaac’s hand tightened into a fist as the image of her flashed through his mind – cowering behind Gavin in that bathroom, eyes wild and streaming, clutching herself, looking terrified, as if she was the fucking victim and not the one pressing a knife to a man’s throat hard enough to draw blood just seconds before.

To Gavin’s throat.

His jaw ached and he swallowed hard. He forced himself to release his fist and brushed his lips to Gavin’s temple instead. He felt Vera’s eyes on him the whole time. He cleared his throat.

Sam wet their lips and leaned forward, seeming to sense the tension. “We’ve been keeping things as calm as possible here,” they said with a glance at Isaac. “Mostly just… sleeping.” They laughed. “All of us. Mostly Gray.”

“I don’t appreciate the accusation,” Gray said good-naturedly. “Although, god, I’ve never slept so much in my life.”

“What about you, Gavin?” Tori said softly. She reached over the back of the couch and rested a hand on Vera’s shoulder. “How are you sleeping?”

Gavin relaxed further against Isaac’s side and drew in a deep breath, thinking. “Well,” he murmured. “Better than in… than with Schiester. That’s definitely for sure. But…” Isaac bit his lip and waited for the second shoe to drop. “…it’s… sometimes hard to tell where I am. When I wake up.”

Isaac’s heart twisted. He knew all too well the things Gavin said, and fucking believed, when he wasn’t sure if he was staring at Isaac himself or merely a figment of his own imagination.

“D-don’t you want to… to punish me? …you want to, right? It’s… Isaac, it’s… it’s okay. It’s not… real, I know that. You can do… whatever you want. I can give that to you… if you want. I know it doesn’t really help you… But it’s what I have. P-please don’t stop touching me. Please… Isaac… please, this… this feels better than… a-anything he does to me.”

Shame clogged Isaac’s throat. His fingers itched for his knife. Fuck.

“Yeah,” Vera was saying. “Yeah, that’s… that’s the hardest part, I think. After. The waking up and not knowing, for a while.”

Isaac’s head snapped up. Vera held Gavin’s gaze, and he stared at her with an understanding that Isaac had never shared. Even though everyone except for Gray had been held captive, tortured, collared – what Gavin and Vera shared now was different. They had both been taken, punished by a sadist, had their minds broken down by pain and time – and drugs, in Gavin’s case. They had been kept in a basement, shackled for use because it brought a madman pleasure.

And they had both been alone.

Isaac’s hand shook as he slid it into Gavin’s and squeezed.

“Does that ever go away?” Gavin murmured, as if he had forgotten anyone else was there. Tears shone in his eyes.

“Yes,” Vera answered immediately. Then, she said, “Mostly. Months or years go by, and then you’ll have a shitty day or a bad nightmare and you’ll wake up not knowing where you are again. But the thing that matters is, it passes. And you’re always, always out once it passes.”

“Unless I get taken again,” Gavin whispered as the tears spilled over. “Like you did. Twice.” He shuddered and muffled a sob against Isaac’s shoulder.

Isaac’s arms wound around him in a trembling embrace, pulling Gavin into his lap. Vera stared at the floor, chewing on her lip.

She was taken again three times, if you count the time she went in to save Tori and killed Joseph Stormbeck to escape.

Isaac bit his tongue and shook his head to clear the thought.

“Alright, scootch over,” Tori mumbled as she crossed the living room to drop into the spot where Gavin had been sitting, gently laying a hand on Gavin where he now sat shivering on Isaac’s lap. She pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it across Gavin’s shoulders. “There, better?”

Gavin nodded with his face pressed to Isaac’s neck. His tears streamed into the neckline of Isaac’s shirt. He wrapped Gavin up again, carefully tucking him in, and glanced at Tori inquisitively.

Tori nodded at Vera. “She’s a lot more sensitive to cold when she’s in the thick of it,” she said gently. “And he’s got goosebumps.”

“No shit?” Vera said. “Is that why you always get a blanket when I’m having a bad day?”

The corner of Tori’s mouth curved up. “Yes, dear, that’s why I always get a blanket when you’re having a bad day.”

Vera raised her eyebrows. “No shit,” she mumbled.

“Schiester k-kept the basement cold,” Gavin muttered into Isaac’s neck. “If I wanted blankets I had to… t-tell him things.”

All the blood drained from Isaac’s face. “What… kinds of things?” he croaked.

“Confessions,” Gavin whimpered. “I… I don’t think most of them were true. I don’t remember. I didn’t care. I was cold. Ziegler told me most of the things I admitted to weren’t true.”

“Who the fuck is Ziegler and are we killing them?” Vera said, sitting up straight and staring at Isaac. “Someone who knew you were down there?”

“Y-yes,” Gavin managed through a particularly violent shudder. “He… he didn’t… hurt me as much. And he… let me go.”

Vera’s eyes went wide. “Like—”

“Not like Ryan,” Isaac said sternly. Tears glittered on Vera’s eyelashes. “Just a guard who decided not to kill me when I was pulling Gavin out.”

“He didn’t hurt me,” Gavin said in a small voice. “He… he could have but he… didn’t.”

“But—”

“Fair enough, Gavin,” Vera interrupted. She shot Isaac a glare. “I get it. That can be enough to keep you sane. Just one person who doesn’t want to hurt you as much as the others.”

Gavin nodded weakly against Isaac’s neck. Isaac tried to meet Vera’s glare, but she shot daggers at him and he faltered. Tori’s hand moved in small, gentle circles on Gavin’s back.

“No one’s taking you again,” Isaac whispered against Gavin’s hair. His arms shook with how hard he squeezed Gavin. “No one. You’re safe, alright? You’re… you’re safe.”

As soon as Edrissa is dealt with—

I wonder if I could get to her before anyone realizes what I’ve done—

“You’re okay, Gavin,” Tori said gently, her hair mingling with his as she leaned in close. “We’ve got you.”

“Y-yeah,” Gavin heaved, and shuddered violently. His hand wrapped around Isaac’s wrist. “Yeah. I’m out.”

Edrissa’s the one who last made him question where he was. I’m going to fucking—

“What the fuck is that?” Vera snapped from her place on the couch.

Isaac’s head shot up and he glanced around the room, ready to neutralize the threat. He met Vera’s eyes and realized she was looking at him – no, not at him.

At his arm.

The sleeve was pulled up slightly on his forearm, exposing a scar left by Gavin’s knife – and the cut he himself had made over it, not five days ago. The angry line flared red in the dim light, and it was devastatingly obvious what it was.

Isaac dragged the sleeve down over the cut, obscuring his entire hand. “Nothing,” he growled.

“Isaac, fuck,” Vera breathed. She rose from the couch and stood over Isaac, staring down at him, looking stricken. “That…” Her hand shot out and she grabbed his wrist, pulling the sleeve up to reveal the line of cuts up and down Isaac’s arm.

Isaac yanked his arm out of Vera’s grasp, cringing back into the couch. Gavin slid off his lap and partially onto Tori. Isaac couldn’t even look at Tori; he could barely bring himself to look at Vera, who stared down at him in horror.

“It’s nothing,” Isaac pleaded with a broken voice.

“Vera, let’s respect Isaac’s desire for privacy,” Gray said, a little weakly.

Isaac could feel Gavin’s gaze drilling holes into the side of his head. He blinked back tears and swallowed hard against the shame strangling him. Slowly, he opened his mouth to speak.

Vera beat him to it. “I… told you not to punish yourself,” she said. She held her hands lamely out to her sides. “You said you wouldn’t—”

“No, I didn’t,” Isaac said through his teeth. “I never said that.”

Vera shook her head. “But—”

“I wouldn’t have said that,” Isaac said. His voice was fading, cracking under the pressure of Vera’s gaze. Having Gavin so close to him, feeling all eyes in the room on him, on his arms, safely hidden again under his long sleeves, was too much to bear. He swallowed again, hoping his dinner would stay down. “I never lied to you.”

“I n-never said you did,” Vera croaked. Her hands were in fists at her sides now. “I… how long?”

Isaac shook his head. He glanced at Sam, who stared right back at him. A quiet sort of pain pinched their mouth. “I… would really rather not have this conversation,” he said thickly.

“Yeah, I bet you wouldn’t,” Vera breathed. She sniffed and lifted her chin against the tears that glittered in her eyes. “Isaac… why didn’t you tell me?”

“What, and have you react like this?” He meant to snarl the words, but they came out weak and pathetic sounding.

She nodded slowly. “You’re right,” she murmured. “That’s… that’s fair. I’m sorry, I… This isn’t… how I should be reacting.”

“Let’s everyone take a breath,” Gray said softly. “Vera, do you want to sit down?”

Vera returned to her couch on stiff legs and fell to her seat beside Sam. Isaac could breathe a little easier, without her standing over him. Gavin crawled back onto his lap and wrapped his arms around Isaac’s neck.

“Sorry,” Vera said flatly. She drew in a deep inhale and let it out in a gusty breath. “Sorry. That’s… probably the last fucking thing you needed.”

“Yeah,” Isaac said. He shrank as Gavin laid his head on his shoulder.

“Isaac, can I touch you?” Tori said. Isaac jumped, but relaxed a little when he met her eyes. Her gaze was soft, sad, but not filled with horror. Not like Vera’s. He nodded, and she laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“I’m really sorry,” Vera whispered. “That was… I wish I could take that back.” She wiped her eyes and sat up, taking another deep breath. “That was shitty of me.”

“No,” Isaac grumbled. His arms stung as if all the cuts were brand new. He longed to scratch at the ones that itched, but he couldn’t bear to draw any more attention to them. He swallowed tightly. “I should never have…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

“No.” Vera held up a shaking hand. “Don’t… don’t do that.” She raked her fingers through her hair and stared at the floor. “Um…”

Isaac couldn’t bring himself to say any of the things that were echoing through his head:

I know this hurts you. I know I did it because I’m weak. I know I would never have had to do it if I had just kept my family safe in the first place. I know…

He knew right where his knife was, too. Gray had taken the one he usually used, but he had another in his pack. All he would have to do is—

“Boy I wish someone else would say something,” Vera said with a broken laugh.

Gray leaned forward with a warm glance toward Isaac. “Did you hear Sam is going to be staying with us?” they said, without missing a beat. Isaac could have cried with gratitude at no longer being the subject of discussion.

Tori beamed and glanced at Sam. “I didn’t hear that! That’s so great.” Her voice was tighter than Gray’s, but it was still light. Isaac felt a wash of gratitude for her, too.

“Yeah,” Sam said. They sounded so tired. But happy, too. “Yeah, I talked to Zachariah about it and… I’m going to be staying here for a while.” They grinned at Isaac. “The foreseeable future.”

“That’s awesome,” Vera said, with only a little flatness to her voice.

“We’re definitely happy about it,” Gray said with a smile.

“It’ll be really nice to… to have you here, Sam,” Isaac croaked. He rearranged his face into what was probably a smile and willed the darkness in his chest to dissipate. “It’ll be nice to be together.” His arms tightened around Gavin as he said it.

Sam nodded, their expression brightening further. “We were worried about where I was going to sleep, but…” They patted the couch cushion next to them. “Turns out this couch is extremely comfortable. After how long we spent on the road, just about anything feels good.”

“You slept on my floor on an air mattress for months,” Tori said with a laugh. “Anything is better than that.”

“Even sleeping on the ground during winter?” Sam said with a mischievous smile. All at once, the exhaustion around their eyes faded away, and they looked like themself again. They looked like the Sam Isaac had always known.

“Depends on the winter,” Tori said. “In the south it wasn’t bad.”

“I’ll take the air mattress,” Vera interjected, raising her hand. “If I get a say.”

“Yeah, because it was on my floor,” Tori shot back with a conspiratory grin.

Everyone laughed at that, even Isaac. He felt the cold fist around his heart loosen a bit, then fall away entirely. As he looked around at the people he loved, feeling Gavin’s warm weight in his lap and Gray’s shoulder brushing his, he could breathe a little easier. He could survive another few minutes without his knife.

Perhaps he could go without it entirely, tonight. It would still be there in the morning if he needed it, and he figured he would. But… maybe then he could just hold some ice instead, if he didn’t need it too badly. What he knew for sure, though, was that he didn’t need the knife tonight.

With his family around him, alive, safe… he could go without the knife for a little longer.

Continued here

@womping-grounds ​, @free-2bmee ​, @quirkykayleetam ​, @walkingchemicalfire ​, @inpainandsuffering ​, @redwingedwhump ​, @burtlederp ​, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog ​ , @whatwhumpcomments ​, @whumpywhumper ​, @stxck-fxck ​, @whumps-the-word ​, @justplainwhump ​, @finder-of-rings ​, @inky-whump ​, @orchidscript ​, @inkyinsanity ​, @this-mightaswell-happen ​, @newandfiguringitout ​, @whumpkitty ​, @pretty-face-breaker ​, @pebbledriscoll ​, @im-just-here-for-the-whump ​, @endless-whump ​, @grizzlie70 ​, @oops-its-whump ​, @kixngiggles​, @1phoenixfeather ​ , @butwhatifyouwrite ​, @carnagecardinal , @whumpifi , @squishablesunbeam

[diselthecat]

Adventures in cake decorating.

I am a cake decorator and yesterday I had a funny call with a customer. People don’t always realize the information I need to make what they want. There’s a picture at the bottom that I don’t know if it is NSFT.

Customer: Do you make cupcakes?

Me: Yes. What are you looking for?

Customer: I want to celebrate getting a breast reduction and I want to have boob cupcakes. Can you put that on a cupcake?

Me: Absolutely. Did you want it to be one to cover the entirety of the cupcake or a pair on each?

Customer: Oh! Oh, I didn’t think about that. I guess two on each.

Me: Sure thing. And what skin tone?

Customer: Pardon?

Me: What color do you want me to make them? Like, are you Caucasian, Hispanic…?

(Long pause where I’m about to ask again…)

Customer: Oh!!!!! Um, I’m white. So, yeah, Caucasian.

Just wanted to write this down so I can remember and laugh later. Maybe I’ll put more silly things that happen with customers here or some of the more fun cakes I make. I don’t know what I’m doing.

[androgymagnus]

ohhh my god speaking of house md and brilliant minds comparisons. yikes. like. okay. i understand why people try to start with this. i truly do. i think if you're trying to communicate something you like about the show to someone who hasn't seen it, and you do that by relating it to a very popular medical drama, that's like. i get why you're doing that. but while there's a pretty good common thread here (ie, medical drama starring disabled doctor who will do anything to help his patients and his gaggle of diverse interns) it's.... largely surface level and reductive, because these are two very different shows other than that little logline.

like, their disabilities and how they're handled and what they mean to their characters and how they handle them are very different. (SO different i'm not even gonna get into it. but they serve different purposes you know?) the tone of the whole show is different--my god is the tone different. the shows are actively trying to do different things.

and like (this one deserves its own line) while i personally believe house is very empathetic and cares about his patients under All That, uh, All That still exists, and does not excuse any kindness he might have under All That, and All That is still a problem (ie yes he will go to any lengths to cure his patient but he will also call them and their whole family slurs. blah blah blah complex character motivations and trauma the effect is still bad no matter the cause) and anyway, that's just what i think from his characterization, generally, he is still incredibly rude and caustic and you could certainly argue for the reading that he actually cares about the puzzle, not the patient. and even if you, like me, believe he deeply cares about his patients even when he doesn't want to, he still largely focuses far more on their literal health than their feelings or lived experience in the hospital. he'll save your life but he'll be a dick the whole time. he'll make patients cry and not really care. meanwhile dr wolf cares about his patient's lived experiences, how they feel, not just their literal physical health. that is literally his entire approach: getting to know them as people, treating them with kindness and understanding when other doctors have brushed over them or signed them off as a lost cause. rather than any kindness/empathy being subtext or shown through certain actions, it's the text.

now, i'm not saying this makes dr wolf a better character than house (a better person, perhaps!) or even a more complex character, since again. they are very different characters serving very different purposes. house is a deeply fucked up little man dealing with very bad chronic pain, childhood trauma, probably repressed bisexuality but let's not go there, etc., and he lashes out. he's a complex character, he's sympathetic but not a victim, he's an asshole but often you like him anyway. wolf is serving a different purpose as a character--i'd say his speech about harold in the first episode really speaks to it. like. he cares, about things other doctors don't, that even house probably wouldn't (depending on the episode and season probably). he's got his own backstory, albeit one we don't know all of yet, that plays into how he interacts with people now and why he is the way he is.

like. agh. gestures frusturatedly. there are interesting contrasts one could make here between these two characters (for example: if we buy that house is deeply empathetic, he deals with this by not wanting to get attached to patients at all, refusing to see them directly, and treating them like puzzles, because when he does see them as a person it hurts more when they die; meanwhile dr wolf does the exact opposite and loathes the idea of seeing patients as their diseases, as a puzzle, but as a consequence gets maybe even too attached every single time, which, while admirable, can lead to burnout or just, you know, getting fired or being a bit single-minded with blinders on trying to save them), but ultimately, it's kind of apples and oranges (that previous parenthetical is fun and all but they have very different backstories and motivations and context and that's kind of just isolating one thing, you know?) and seeing people uncritically compare the two is at least mildly irksome. they have, again, wildly different backstories and motivations.

these shows are trying to do different things! neither one of them is better than the other (i think i'm enjoying brilliant minds more personally, although with only seven episodes out to house's eight seasons i think it's a bit of an unfair judgment to try and make objectively as of yet) because they are trying to do different things. they just happen to be medical dramas about a doctor who will do anything to cure their patient, which is, when you think about it, a very broad category. you could throw in 'and he's disabled!' but let's be real, their disabilities (and how they're handled and interact with the plot) are very different.

the point is, i understand why people make this comparison but i think it's a little reductive and misguided. but at the same time like, i get it, trying to get across something in an easy to understand way when you're trying to convince someone to watch the show, just--don't go giving them the wrong impression! if someone goes into brilliant minds expecting house md, and they like different things about that show than you did, they're gonna end up being disappointed

anyway, disorganized ramble: end. hope it somewhat made sense

[ivanttakethis]

End of Round 13 - Tov’s Log

Jae (64) vs. Vii (35) - Jae Win

————————————————————

Wren found Tov again that night.

Round 13 had just finished.

64 - 35

Jae won decisively.

Vii was dead.

The guards allowed both classes to mingle during free time in the hour prior to curfew.

Most people chose to stay inside. Tov and a few others ventured out into the fields.

At night, the simulated daytime of the Anakt Garden dome was switched off, allowing those inside to see the true night sky above.

The stars seemed further away somehow, but they were no less beautiful.

It was a perfect night for stargazing.

Tov stayed close to the main buildings, tucked away around back, out of view of anyone passing by.

She knew the spot from childhood. It was a good place if you wanted to be alone for a while.

“There you are!”

At least it was…

Wren sat down in the grass beside her, crossing her legs and mirroring Tov’s position.

“I figured I would find you out here.”

Wren’s tone raised her hackles.

Tov furrowed her brows, turning to look at her, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Wren shrugged, but kept her eyes on the sky, unbothered by the slight edge in Tov’s voice. Her white hair seemed to glow in the moonlight. Even her roots were white.

“You seem to like the stars, and they’re awfully pretty tonight.” She said.

Tov couldn’t argue with that, so she didn’t.

“They are pretty.” She nodded, looking back up at the constellations hanging overhead.

The two were quiet for a moment, before Wren spoke again.

“What was it like performing on stage?”

Tov tried to think back to Round 10, but her mind drew a blank. She couldn’t recall much of anything.

Only fragments of that night remained scattered around the void in her memories.

The stars.

The heartache.

The first line of her song.

The gunshot.

The smell of blood.

The way Nyx hugged her like she was something fragile.

Everything else was gone.

“I don’t remember much.” She said quietly. It almost sounded like a confession. “I wasn’t really thinking about the stage, or the crowd, or the cameras.”

“Then what were you thinking about?” Wren asked, “That emotion in your voice didn’t come out of thin air.”

Tov’s eyes found Tallis’s constellation instinctively.

Was she really about to spill her sorrows to a stranger?

Regardless of how friendly Wren behaved, they didn’t know each other.

But… who else did she have in her life to talk to?

Cassio? No.

Nyx? He had enough on his plate preparing for his upcoming round.

Himei? Tov didn’t know if she would ever talk to her about this; about what she and Tallis said and did.

She’d already been isolated once because of all this grief they found themselves neck deep in.

Tov wasn’t going to add to that, or make things worse. It would just make the situation more confusing.

She briefly closed her eyes and sighed, “Did you watch Round 7?”

Wren nodded in her periphery. “Of course. I watch every round.”

How can you stomach it all?

Tov didn’t ask that thought aloud.

“The contestant that lost…”

“Tallis?”

She almost winced at the sound of his name. The wound was still too raw.

“Yeah… him.” Tov swallowed around the growing lump in her throat. “He… he meant a lot to me.”

Andromedas, why is this so painful?

“He was a friend of yours?”

She shook her head immediately, “No.”

The word “friend” was far too reductive to encompass everything that Tallis meant to Tov.

But how else could she describe their relationship?

Even with her face placidly neutral, Wren still managed to sense Tov’s internal frustration.

“Ah, more than a friend.” She mused. “Did you love him?”

“I did— I do.” Tov amended. Nyx’s words came back to her then.

“Just because he's gone doesn't mean he doesn't still love you.”

Guess that meant she didn’t have to stop loving him either.

“When I was singing, I was thinking about him.”

“I see.”

This time, the ensuing silence bordered on comfortable. Tov’s chest felt a bit lighter too. Maybe talking about it isn’t so bad.

“You named a star after him.” Wren said it like a statement, not a question. It startled Tov.

“How did you—” Her eyes snapped to the odd grey gaze staring back at her, expectant but already knowing.

“You keep looking at the same spot in the sky.” Wren explained. “You kept looking up at the stars when you performed too.”

Tov felt strangely exposed, like Wren could see through her skin and straight into her soul.

It was different from the way Tallis looked at her, though. But she couldn’t put a finger on why.

“It’s a constellation.” She conceded, finally.

Wren smiled a little, almost giddy, “Ooh which is it? Wait, wait, wait— let me guess!” She scanned the stars intently and her brow furrowed in concentration.

It made her look much younger than she probably was.

How old is Wren anyway?

She pointed upwards with one eye closed for accuracy, “Is it that one there? The one shaped like a cresting wave?”

“No, that one’s for Azure.” Tov said.

“That guy from Round 1? With the sea green eyes?”

Something about Wren’s description of Azure made Tov huff out a chuckle.

“That’s him,” She nodded. “The song he performed was called Nouvelle Vague, ‘new wave’. I thought it was fitting to name a wave shaped constellation after him.”

“It fits him well.” Wren nodded, then pointed to another constellation nearby, “What about the one that looks kind of like a thought bubble?”

“That’s Moran’s.” Tov said.

“Ah, the redhead from Round 2!”

“Yes, she was a good friend of mine. A great friend, really. She taught me a lot about philosophy; always thinking.”

Tov took over from there, pointing out each constellation she’d named after those she cared for.

Stasya. Minori. Flor. Even Min.

Min protected Himei when she didn’t have to. She was the only reason her closest friend was still alive.

For that alone, Tov cared about Min too.

“That one,” She said finally, pointing to the cluster of constellations in the shape of a harp, “That one is for Tallis.”

“I believe in you.”

“I know.”

“Good.”

For once, Wren quieted first.

Tov felt her eyes on her, but she didn’t break the silence; content to simply look at stars.

It still hurt. But it was better than the numbness from before.

“You know…” Wren started, “You look at everyone else’s constellations the same way you look at Tallis’s.”

Really?

“Really.” Wren said.

She paused for a moment. Then two.

“If you ask me, it seems like you loved all of them.” Wren murmured.

At that moment, something in Tov’s heart clicked into place. A gentle warmth unfurled inside her rib cage.

Oh.

Oh.

Maybe… maybe I do…

The realization brought tears to Tov’s eyes. Her heart ached in a new, novel way.

Bittersweet. Melancholy.

It made her laugh for some reason. She hadn’t laughed in a long time.

As she stared up at the celestial memorials of everyone she’d lost, Tov found herself smiling ever so slightly.

What a terrible time to realize it was all love.

————————————————————

We love sisterly bonding, even if one of them doesn’t know it yet 😌

Plus a little feelings realization and healing, as a treat!

Tov has a lot of love for others, even if she doesn’t think she does. Only now is she beginning to realize how deeply her relationships have affected her as a person.

Tov’s current thoughts about Wren are like: “this girl is kinda weirdly friendly, and there’s something odd about her aura, but I would rather die than talk to anyone else in my life about my problems, so I will continue to trauma dump on her since she’s cool with it”

My girl probably needs a therapist, but we don’t have time for that lmao

Next up: End of Round 16!!

Jae belongs to @kofeedoggo.

Min and Vii belong to @starry-skiez.

Nyx belongs to @rockwgooglyeyes.

Tallis and Himei belong to @lookatmysillies.

Azure belongs to @azureitri.

Moran belongs to @geospiral.

Stasya belongs to @billwasnot.

Minori belongs to @minori-dash.

Flor belongs to @sotogalmo.

[traumatizing-unnamed-ocs]

Careless

Summary: Villains Sidekick has been left to fend for themselves for a while and ends up kidnapped by Hero Themes: Some emotional whump / hurt comfort stuff, also found family (Sidekick is a child) Potential Triggers: Child neglect

Sidekick had just wanted to go get some food -  Villain had been gone for a few days, and everything in the fridge was going bad and they were so hungry - but they had barely made it out of their hideout before somebody had grabbed them. And now they were tied up in some chair somewhere, a black burlap sack thrown over their head, and all they could think about was how mad Villain was going to be.

“I am not scared”, they said out loud.

“Shure.” Sidekick cringed at that voice. It was Hero. “But if I can give you some advice, people who aren’t scared usually don’t feel the need to announce that fact.”

“Well now I’m really not scared”, Sidekick shot back. That was only half true. They were still scared of what Villain would do to them once they found out, but they weren’t scared of Hero. Hero wasn’t scary at all, they were just strange.

“Liar.” Heroes voice was pointed, and Sidekick tried to glare in their general direction. “But luckily for you I am happy to negotiate about the terms of your release.”

The words felt like a rock dropping in Sidekicks stomach, but they forced themself to put on a brave face.

“If you think you can negotiate with Villain, they know that I can take care of myself.”

“Yes, they seem to have that impression.” Heroes voice was eerily calm as they were moving around, doing… something. Sidekick didn’t dare to think about what that clinking sound might mean. “Though if you wouldn’t mind, tell me the last time you had a warm meal.”

“Fuck you”, Sidekick answered with out hesitation.

“Watch your tone.” Heroes voice was so icy that Sidekick immediately regretted snapping at them. Though they didn’t apologize - Villain had strictly forbidden Sidekick from apologizing.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be too harsh.” As if Hero had read Sidekicks mind, their voice had softened. “Let’s just drop the topic of meals for now and go back to the negotiation. I have a few options for you. Option one: I have a few options for haircuts we could do, but I have to warn you, with how matted your hair is, it will have to be short. Option two: I put on an age appropriate tv show for you and start detangling your hair, though that might take a while and hurt a bit. In both cases we will order some food, and I would also like to give you some clean clothes and throw the ones you are wearing in the laundry, but that last part is optional. But if you comply, I won’t tell Villain how easily I caught you.”

Sidekick tried to process what had been said. They had been prepared for a lot, but not one of the things Hero had said even seemed to make sense.

“You kidnapped me because of my hair?” Sidekick finally managed to ask. There was an amused huff.

“That’s a bit reductive, but if you want, yes. You haven’t been brushing it since Villain left town, have you?” Heroes voice was incredibly soft and patient now, and Sidekick hated it.

“Yes”, they said, kicking their feet against the chair. “I didn’t mean to, I just… I was busy. With cooking and cleaning, and Villain didn’t leave enough money to pay rent… but I’m fine. I was going to take care of it soon, probably just cut it off. It’s a distraction anyway, in a fight.”

“Do you want me to cut it off?”

“No.” Sidekick answered instinctively, with a bit too much desperation in their voice. “I mean, if you are offering… brushing it out would be alright, I guess. If it’s all the same to you.”

“Okay. So I assume you wont try to escape if I untie you?”

“No.” It felt shameful to admit that, but Sidekick was just so tired. And the idea of spending a while sitting around and getting food and just not having to worry was just so appealing.

“Good.” There was a movement at Sidekicks sides, as their hands were untied. “Then you can start thinking about what you want to eat.”

With the ties removed, Sidekick finally took off the sack covering their eyes and looked around. They were sitting on a chair in what seemed to be some abandoned warehouse. Hero handed them a tablet with available delivery services.

“Don’t think about the price, it’s my treat. And Sidekick? If it ever gets too much again, call me.” With that, Hero handed them a folded piece of paper, a number scribbled on that. “Villain might not care, but I do.”

This Story featured Supervillain as Hero and Hero as Sidekick

[skaruresonic]

What the fuck do neurotypicals smoke in order to reach the conclusions they reach? As an autistic person myself, even I know not everyone under the autistic spectrum is gonna enjoy Sonic. I've seen autistics like Pokémon, mainly for the cute monster designs, the number games with battling, and so on and so forth. And I've seen autistics like Pikmin for similar or different reasons.

When you meet an autistic person, you just met one autistic person. Autistics aren't a conglomerate of people, they're just average people who have a rough understanding of social cues.

tfw other video games don't exist

Honestly, Sonic is the outlier among my interests. The others are much darker by comparison, and despite their own occasional moments of silliness, don't share the same aesthetics or narrative tone at all.

Pyramid Head kart racing. PYRAMID HEAD KART RACING.

For some reason, outside of maybe Paper Mario, I find it difficult to get into similar colorful mascot games. Sonic fills that need for childish joy too well to permit anything else in, I guess, lol.

also, as I read that ask, I kept thinking "yeah, you probably don't mean the Deadly Gang brand of neurodivergence, we just get called stupid" lmao

Been seeing "Sonic appeals to neurodivergent people" takes float around recently - though it's not a new idea by any stretch of the imagination - and, well. I don't want to step on anyone's toes since I'm not autistic myself (as far as I know; strongly suspect ADD though), but isn't it equally reductive to say you must belong to a certain demographic in order to have good takes?

You don't need a PhD or a diagnosis to have accurate takes on the series. All you need is to have paid attention to the games. That is literally the only "barrier" to entry. The bar resides in hell, and yet folks continue to cha-cha slide right under it. Two hops this time.

Besides, they always mean a certain kind of palatable neurodivergence, not the kind of brain spiciness that causes you to "over"analyze the games and gets you branded an extreme game purist.

Because deep down, liking Sonic in the "wrong" way is still weird to these people. You can't be into Sonic NSFW, you're ~lewding minors~. You can't be so attached to the games that you prefer that other media follow suit, you need to make concessions. You need to espouse the "correct" opinions, and those opinions had better be transformative, lest you be considered a stick-in-the-mud who hates fun.

And it's really ironic too, because it's like well what did you expect, this is a Chili's and I'm still waiting for my shrimp tacos a place where people who like Sonic express that like. Do you also go to the aquarium and complain that there's too many fish?

[mewos-laptop]

heya :3 we just wanted to check in after passively seeing that absolute divvy in your reblogs i literally know next to nothing about the intricacies of how trans men struggle and stuff but i just you know. hope you're okay.

because seeing the replies, she was like pretty dismissive and stuff especially when you're talking about your own unique struggles in the confines your own tag and she was going out of her way to track down posts in a tag trans men talking about their own struggles specifically to try and make an argument of it.

all of that to say we hope you're okay lol. how are you doing? /nfta, friendly tone

We're doing okay, just very annoyed and hung up on it after the past two days of getting reblogged by transandrophobes. It just hurts more bc they've both been trans as well, and should know how hurtful the denial of their oppression is.

If trans women's oppression is different to just regular transphobia, then why are trans men not given the same freedom by our own community to dictate our own terms for ourselves ? Do we not experience starkley different oppression for our specific identity, or are we just 'polar opposites' when you want to divide our community further ?

Why are our feelings within the community not paid attention to ? Why are we expected to all be either stereotypes or "the big scary men who are our abusers" ? Is that not just as reductive as hating trans women for the same reason of having "higher" testosterone levels ?

Idk, it just rlly hurts to see constantly. I love trans women with all my heart, and I know it's a very small minority of them who actually do spread TERF and transandrophobe rhetoric about trans men, but that number seems so large when it's all you can see when you decide to open up about your OWN experiences. It just sucks.

Sorry for the sudden block of angsty text lolz. We'll be okay, just upset over it still I suppose. /gen

[henrysglock]

Henry Was Set Up To Fail In The Eyes Of The Viewers Before We Even Knew Him.

Hello class. Today I would like to talk about two things: Henry and NINA, and how he's been set up for reduction to a 2D villain before we even know him, and how his monologue dupes us into judging his child-self through a warped lens or perception.

The first time we see Henry in ST4 is El's entry into NINA.

She's not prepared, she's already confused and afraid, and so are we. We know as much as she does about the situation, which is to say nothing at all. We're a blank slate as much as she is.

She's inserted into a memory of Henry where he's already essentially directly behind her. He jump-scares us, through no fault of his own, but he scares us nonetheless. This, in combination with NINA glitching/the lights flickering wildly/vocal distortions as El tries to reject NINA and the fact that he supposedly holds a position of power in the lab, shapes our first impression of Henry.

He's associated from the very start with fear, dishonesty, and manipulation. This sets the tone for his entire story.

Our next impression of Henry is then, of course, colored by the fear El feels from NINA and the lab.

Henry isn't scary in that first memory. In fact, it's one of many moments where he's treating her with nothing but compassion.

He informs her that lessons are starting soon, which gives her the chance to mentally prepare for the day. She expresses fear/trepidation over the lessons, and he assures her that she's going to do well. It's nice. He's nice. He's an orderly, and orderlies aren't typically so nice (as we see in ST1). He's done nothing wrong, and yet...

It should be endearing, and on a certain level it is, but the fear from the opening scene colors our judgement so that we're already looking for faults. His kindness automatically comes off a little creepy. It's natural. We've been spooked by him. Now we're on alert, and we see him as a potential threat, even when he hasn't done anything to warrant threat status. We're looking for reasons to distrust him.

Throughout the rest of NINA (pre-massacre), we're shown nothing but good behavior from Henry. He's respectful, he puts himself on El's level so he doesn't loom over her the way Brenner does, he doesn't grab her or talk down to her or treat her like she's stupid. He actively builds up her confidence and even goes so far as to try to help her escape without him. Pulled out of context, he’s undeniably a good guy.

And yet, as soon as the violence starts, we all go "Aha! I knew there was something wrong with you!". We’re so caught up in the violence, so caught up in being right, that we don't spare it a second thought. We don't ask why, it doesn't strike us as unusual behavior, we just accept that he must have been an evil manipulator all along. This is because we were conditioned to from the start.

We're more than happy to ignore inconsistencies, because we've associated him with fear from the moment we met him. Henry never stood a chance. We were set up to expect something evil from him, even if his intentions were good right up until the massacre is underway.

This stops us from asking:

Why did Brenner look the other way about Henry’s conspiratorial behavior with El?

Why did Brenner let Henry, the supposed master manipulator, run around with the lab children at all?

Why did Henry try to free El with no personal gain?

Why were all of his meetings with her (besides the escape) public and interruptible, and why did no one interrupt them?

Why did Henry look so conflicted before he starts killing?

Why didn’t Henry kill El once she took Soteria out?

Why did Henry’s behavior change gradually rather than being an immediate snap when the killing started?

When did 1979 turn from self defense to unprovoked attack, and why?

We don’t ask questions because his new behavior fits with the preconceived notions that we were fed during our introduction to him. We immediately assume he was evil all along, even before he starts monologuing about being a predator. We never stop to think that maybe someone else is pulling the strings to put him in a situation where he’s forced to kill people and by extension absorb them, changing him intrinsically.

Granted, the monologue doesn’t help him going into the next section of this talk, but it also does one very important thing:

It influences our perception of him as a child based on what we see from his adult self who has finally snapped after 20+ years of horrific mental abuse, and who is no longer just himself but an amalgamation of himself and every person he’s just killed.

Including the bad ones.

But nonetheless, we take him at face value for everything he says after that point, because if fits our preconceived notion that he’s evil.

This plays into our perception of the Creel massacre.

So, now that we’ve been “validated” by the narrative (I was right! He’s evil!), we automatically take as fact anything that “proves” that we’re right about him. Because we’ve had our mind made up about him from the get-go, we don’t stop to ask questions. If we ignore inconsistencies, we stay correct. If we ignore the inconsistencies, we stay comfortable in our black and white thinking, our initial snap judgments and intentionally poorly-contextualized impressions.

We go “ah yes, we’ve just seen him commit mass murder. What he says about himself as a child must be true!” and ignore the fact that he’s a victim of MKULTRA and that he’s no longer just himself. We take him at face value because it’s spoon-fed to us, and we like it that way. It’s easy that way.

We see his recollection of the Creel massacre, and we don’t stop to ask:

Why does he look so scared?

Why is his plan so rushed and disorganized, if it was so premeditated?

Why are we missing so many details that were present in Victor’s retelling?

If Henry had Victor in a trance, then who killed Alice? Henry has never displayed the ability to trance and kill different people at the same time, and Alice was alive the last time Victor saw her.

How did Brenner show up so soon after the murders? What tipped him off to come collect Henry?

Why does Henry flip-flop between framing himself as both victim and predator? He’s a victim as a child, and then a predator as a child, and then a victim again as a child, and then a victim in the lab, but then a predator in the lab, and then a victim again as an adult, but now a predator as and adult…

Why can’t he keep his motivations straight? Is he a victim freeing himself from his prison, or is he an apex predator taking his rightful place at the top of the food chain? He talks about how hurt he was and how betrayed…and then he compares himself to a god using spiders as a proxy. He can’t keep his story straight. Does he want us to fear him or sympathize with him? (Both. The answer is both. The people he just absorbed have always been about fear as a method of control, and Henry himself has just spent the entire last arc giving us reasons to sympathize with him.)

Why does his retelling look so different from Victor’s in every regard, from color grading to MKULTRA/LSD hallmarks on the lights to missing subtitles?

How did Virginia know about his abilities, and how did she find an expert on psionic abilities so easily?

Were Henry’s actions that night a generally unprovoked preemptive strike, or were they reactive self-defense?

We just go with what they spoon-feed us. It fits our preconceived notions from our first impression of Henry combined with our impression of him as an intrinsically altered adult rather than the man we’re shown pre-absorption. We assume that, well, he must have done all that somehow. He must have been born evil. He must have been manipulating El from the start.

We don’t stop to consider that his truth might not be the full factual truth. We don’t stop to look closer because the story fits so nicely with what we’ve been expecting from him from the very first time we see him, and the monologue only reinforces that response.

Henry never stood a chance in the plot or in our perceptions of him. We’re as much chess pieces as he is. Brenner was manipulating Henry’s path, as well as shaping El’s perception of him by skipping footage, and the Duffers shaped our mental path in much the same way.

We got duped.

[olliegolliegee]

0: Height

6: Age you get mistaken for

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

9: Got any piercings?

10: Want any piercings?

11: Best friend?

12: Relationship status

15: Favorite movie

16: I’ll love you if

17: Someone you miss

19: A fact about your personality

20: What I hate most about myself

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

25: My idea of a perfect date

31: What your last text message says

32: What words upset me the most

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

34: What I find attractive in women

35: What I find attractive in men

36: Where I would like to live

37: One of my insecurities

38: My childhood career choice

oh god that's a lot

i'm 5'4

they either get my age right, think i'm 12, or think i'm 16. it's kinda funny someone will be like I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN COLLEGE??!! and someone else is like wut you're not like 11

no tattoos yet

yes

uhm ear piercings. the normal two lobe ones. freaks me out sometimes but people who notice just. think i'm a real cool dude? and continue to not get me trying to join the period conversation despite being trans themselves (it's so funny when this happens)

nope

dont really know right now

single

PRINCESS BRIDE

idk man i love you all

i actually don't know

fun fact! i don't know what i'm saying either

i just wanna fucking collapse in the corner into someone's arms. cuddle me. i don't hate anything about myself but i'm still in pain

that i get along with pretty much everyone :)

alive lol (probably something to do with zoology or medicine)

i dont got any

one is pretty great for the most part and the other is we dont talk about her

lil picnic in a field. chow down on some fruits and lay down in the grass and flowers and talk and cuddle under the open sky

"sorry sorry sorry sorry not up for fencing will do saturday"

specific words don't really matter to me, it's all about the tone

hot, pretty, funny, kind, goof (idk spitballing)

bro girls are all objectively hot

IDK MAN IM JUST GAY OKAY

in the woods. probably in switzerland because i am slightly a simp for their government because the two things i know about swiss government is that it's a direct democracy and also they were the first ones to do harm reduction for drug addicts

being trans

it changed CONSTANTLY

[annoyinglandmagazine]

‘We have dealings with other elves, you know I wondered if you might know them,’ Telchar inquired as he leaned over his workbench to observe the embellishments the elf was pounding onto a swords hilt to finish it. Curufin looked up to fix him with an unimpressed raised eyebrow as he slid the sword into its scabbard and set it aside, ‘so because I’m an elf you expect me to be best friends with all others of my race? Because we’re all the same? And you call us haughty and small minded?’

Telchar snorted at his affronted tone and held his hands up in an appeasing gesture, ‘peace, lad there’s no need to get all indignant I simply asked a question.’ Curufin scarcely bothered scowl at being referred to as ‘lad’ by someone many millennia his younger at this point and merely muttered under his breath, ‘well I just feel it’s a bit reductive is all. Alright then, give me the name.’ Telchar rolled his eyes and said ‘well we have dealings with an elf lord known as Caranthir.’

Curufin froze and then glanced firmly at the floor ‘I …… may know him.’ Telchar smirked catching his uncertainty and probing further with a raised eyebrow ‘May? How closely acquainted are you?’ Curufin mumbled under his breath unintelligibly. ‘Pardon?’ and oh was he curious about this. Curufin spoke more clearly ‘Caranthir and I have a millennias old rivalry of a complicated backstabbing nature.’ ‘Oh?’ Curufin paused before admitting ‘He’s my brother.’

Telchar’s eyes widened in shock, ‘You’re siblings?! I never would have guessed, you look as different as any two elves I’ve met.’ Curufin shrugged awkwardly, ‘well I suppose we don’t share much of a resemblance compared to you and your sisters. Moryo-’ Here Telchar interrupted ‘Is Moryo Caranthir? I’ve never heard that name used for him before.’ Curufin looked down guiltily ‘Don’t mention that name to anyone, alright? I’m not really supposed to use it anymore what with the ban on Quenya and all that. Even otherwise it would be best for you not to use it, it’s a nickname see, for family use, it’s quite personal.’

‘Of course, of course I understand. You were saying?’ ‘Well Caranthir took after our mother and paternal grandmother more than anyone whereas I am supposedly an identical copy of my father. So identical that both of my names are based around that fact. It wouldn’t be wise to mention our grandmother in reference to Caranthir. Or mention her at all really, though I don’t see what circumstances would compel you to.’

Telchar, though never being partial to family gossip in general, found the idea of the seemingly only elvish family that actually talked to them having regular familial dirty laundry very intriguing. ‘You can’t say something like that your lordship and just leave it there once you’ve piqued my curiosity.’ Curufin snorted, a very unelvish sound, and seated himself down on top of the workbench and patted the spot next to him, ‘if you want even a summarised version of that story best you sit down.’

Telchar pulled a flask of something out of his pocket and knocked a bit of it back while readying himself to enjoy what was most certainly not a gossip session. ‘ My grandmother had always been weary, she’d suffered a great deal in her life and even when she arrived in Valinor she was not healed. When she became with child it was too much for her, her fea gave out and she passed not long after giving birth to my father. Ordinarily when one of the Eldar pass they will wait a period of time for recovery before being reborn but my grandmother did not do this.’

‘She had lived so long weak and unable to find even traces of happiness in her life that she told the Valar she would never be prepared to live again in all the Ages of the world. This was a great blow to the people as she was a much admired queen and the knowledge that something like that could happen left many feeling ill at ease. But none were impacted more than our family, for it left a gaping wound that our grandfather could scarcely bring himself to hear spoken. Especially not as in choosing to remarry he solidified her fate and ensured that she can never reconsider and be reunited with her kin.’

‘Apart from the tragedy of it all,’ here Curufin’s eyes got a dark look in them, making clear this topic was one he had Opinions on, ‘there was always the point of view from a not insignificant amount of people that it was some fundamental flaw in my grandmother herself that this happened when it never should have been possible for one of my people. That she was a representation of how marred the world truly is, a mistake. And that we, as her line, are as well. That we shouldn’t have existed and our blood shouldn’t be permitted spread its inherent weakness.’

‘I ask you not to mention it to Caranthir as he bore the brunt of it, so closely resembling her in face as well as spirit, with his chosen crafts of needlework and mathematics echoing her own and his tendencies towards the emotional.’ Telchar snorted at that despite the depressing topic of conversation. ‘The only emotion I’ve ever seen from Caranthir is frustration at everyone else’s apparent idiocy.’

Curufin rolled his eyes ‘Well you don’t know him very well do you? Just for trade deals. He’s not exactly the easiest person to get close to.’ Telchar bumped his shoulder teasingly ‘And you are?’ ‘Well not normally. But how could I resist such smithing skill?’ This was said with great sarcasm but in his years of knowing the elf he’d learnt that that was his favoured way of being genuine.

‘Still though. Caranthir. Emotional. You really expect me to believe that?’ Curufin smiled softly ‘You should have met him in Valinor. He changed. We all did but him especially. He doesn’t laugh anymore or cry or anything really. People always worried that his sensitivity was a sign that he would end up the same way, or end his own life, grandfather couldn’t bare to look at him some days without thinking of his grief. But those people didn’t truly know him. His feeling things was never a problem, that’s just who he is. It’s the emptiness that worries me.’

‘And here I thought a high and mighty elf lord like yourself didn’t worry about anything.’ He paused and twisted a gold ring on his finger, emblazoned with an oddly shaped star and no further ornamentation. Now that he thought about it he remembered Caranthir doing the same with a similar trinket. ‘Family is family. I’m sure you can understand that at least. If it isn’t too improper of me,’ he hesitated as if unsure of himself for once and forced his voice into a more casual tone ‘if you see him again could you pay attention to his manner? Keep me posted if you see something out of the ordinary, uncharacteristic silence, weeping, zoning out, excessive alcohol consumption and the like. Just out of curiosity of course. Plotting, scheming and blackmail purposes and all that.’

[soft-pine]

Can I ask about monsters vs humans discourse? Some of your categorizations seem quite strange to me and I am genuinely interested in your thought process. For example, by what rules are you categorizing someone as a human or monster? If by "monster" you just mean "non-human," then why are people like Kelly Kline listed as monsters? If the special children are human, then why is Magda a "monster"? Most baffling to me, if the people infected with croatoan are human, then why are the people infected with the darkness monsters? It just seems arbitrary. The same goes for whether or not characters are listed as "villain or villain adjacent." For example, Crowley is on the list twice, and that category says "no" both times. But objectively speaking Crowley is often a minor antagonist in the plot. Is it really accurate to say he's not even villain adjacent, not even "kinda," which other characters are listed as? Emma is also listed as "no," despite the fact that she was literally there to kill Dean, and Amy is listed as "yes," even though she presented no danger to sam and dean and no ongoing danger to humans in general. So how are we distinguishing who is a villain and who is not? Again, it seems very arbitrary and I'm wondering what your thought process is here. Thanks for taking the time to read this!

yeah totally! this is not one of the tabs i would ever claim is like all that useful as like a reduction to the numbers or the way i categorized things. in my navigation page description for it, i said, "This is a bit hard to summarize because, of course, there are several episodes whose plot revolves around these opinions shifting. And having a negative view of a monster who turns out to be harming people is not concerning in the same way as having a negative view of one who doesn't." mostly i was just trying to keep track of the way that both sam & dean actually tend to have varying opinions about good vs bad humans & monsters over the show and it's not monolithically dean saying All Monsters Bad and Sam being consistently more sympathetic which is the fandom take that i've seen a lot.

but you bring up some good points in that i made this over a long time and it was hard to keep consistent episode to episode like humans with powers vs monsters etc as you pointed out. so all that is to say, i made a new row for kelly vs jack in the first instance you bring up. very well pointed out about magda vs the other psychic kids so i've switched all that to human. you're totally right about the croatoan vs darkness so i updated croatoan to monsters category! i agree that villain / villain adjacent is messy (like again im not trying to like use this page and act like it's comprehensive!!) but for crowley specifically, in s5 and s10 where the two instances i noted are, he is not the villain but you're right it should say "kinda" so i fixed that. like this page is kinda messy right bc i'm not listing every time that a monster is a monster and they agree and try to hunt them - which most of the other crowley instances fit under, you know. but that would be like 327+ rows long and insane. so,

i am not going to relitigate amy vs emma here as people have done a much better job than i could. but i listed emma as no because she hadn't killed anyone and might not have (not actually punishing thought crimes here). and i listed amy as yes because she killed people (and i care about people's safety beyond sam & dean's).

i appreciate your tone and genuine questions and help making things a bit more consistent!

i also want to say for anyone else reading this that from their blog, i can tell this person clearly is more of a samgirl(gn) than i am but if you actually ask specific questions in a way that isn't blamey and accusatory, i'm so happy to reply and work on things!!

[1stthingsfirst]

This is the Ray side of my previous post about the portrayal of his recovery, in part prompted by @quaintrelle17's comment about Thai rehabs (Thank you! I didn't ignore you, I just took forever to respond).

Note: I use "sobriety" as shorthand. Not everyone who abuses alcohol needs to go sober. Some can drink in moderation. Some need to abstain for their whole lives.

I originally only briefly addressed Ray drinking in rehab. So, the two general ways to stop drinking/go sober are:

Cold turkey -- You go from your current alcohol intake to zero, no steps in between.

Tapering off (aka weaning off) -- You decrease your daily alcohol intake over time until you reach zero/a desired amount.

From this tweet and Jojo's comments, I believe Thai outpatient rehab programs follow a harm-reduction model using tapering and deemphasizing abstinence unless deemed necessary.

Tapering off aims to both decrease the severity of and prevent withdrawal symptoms. Chronic alcohol abuse alters your brain chemistry. Tapering off helps your brain adjust to functioning with less and less alcohol and decreases the likelihood of severe withdrawal symptoms such as seizures and delirium tremens, which can cause disability and death.

Issue #1: Lack of Clarity

Ray is a good candidate for tapering. He carries a flask to drink on the go and his hands shake when he doesn't drink, a withdrawal symptom. It makes sense for Ray to drink while he's in rehab.

However, tapering is a systematic process. You don't just slowly drink less. A professional may determine a tapering schedule specific to you, but the general recommendation is to decrease by 2 drinks per day. When tapering, you should track what drink you're on and even measure to ensure you stick to one standard drink each time.

I would not expect to see this level of detail in the show. However, as is, we see Ray enter rehab at the end of episode 10, and then in episode 11, we see no visible change in behavior. He still goes to bars and drinks beers in the bath and has whiskey in the pool in a tense almost-threesome. We're supposed to intuit that he's changing simply because he says he is.

The show could have made it clearer without dedicating much time to it. It's as simple as a lingering shot of a handout from the rehab center or Ray saying, "last drink of the day" in the tub. Responses to Only Friends have highlighted how little the general public knows about addiction. It's unreasonable to expect us to know that people may drink as part of rehab.

This is a "show, don't tell" error. We have been told that Ray is in rehab, but we have not seen behavior indicating that he's in rehab.

Issue #2: Tone and Narrative

I'd be surprised if Ray's support team encouraged him to casually drink with his partner while trying to go sober. I could be wrong; they could be fine with it. A person could maybe healthily drink a beer in the tub with their partner if it aligned with their tapering schedule, but it doesn't feel appropriate tonally or narratively.

We have seen how destructive alcohol has been in Ray's life: his mom's alcoholism ruined his childhood; he blames himself for her alcoholism-related suicide; he nearly lost all his friends and his boyfriend multiple times; he drove drunk, crashed his car, and had to be hospitalized for his injuries; he was charged with a DUI and has to complete social service (legal consequences); and so on.

Tonally, it does not make sense to show Ray drinking casually at this point. It could make sense to show him drinking, but not in the settings shown in episode 11. Drinking should be portrayed as weightier by now, if not for Ray, at least for Sand when he's with Ray (see my original post). Sand has said multiple times that he worries about Ray's drinking, so it feels odd to see them to chat in the bath over beers while Ray is in rehab. Ray may be allowed to drink then and he may be able to drink for pleasure in the future, but week one of rehab is not the time for drinking for pleasure.

Additionally, from a storytelling perspective, it doesn't make sense to include Ray accepting that he needs to go to rehab with two episodes left unless you then show him either improved or struggling. By showing Ray drinking after entering rehab, it suggests to the viewer that Ray's drinking will continue to be a major plot point.

But I don't know if it is because we have one episode left, two other couples' stories to wrap up, Ray's already in rehab, and they just introduced Boeing to Sand and Ray's dynamic. By introducing Boeing this late in the show, with this little time left, it's pretty clear Boeing is Ray and Sand's final conflict, not Ray's recovery.

I'm normally all about nuance, but filmmakers only have so many opportunities to convey information to their audience. Unless they do want to keep Ray's recovery a main conflict, it is more logical, for both tone and storytelling, to simply not show Ray drinking at this point. Is it less realistic? Yes. But is it clearer? Yes.

TL;DR

There are scientific reasons why Ray would drink during rehab; however, most people don't know that and it was never explained in the series itself, so the scenes of him drinking in ep 11 landed poorly for many viewers. This is a problem with how the show told the story of Ray's alcoholism and recovery. The show would have benefited from prioritizing clarity over realism, unless they plan to take the time to explore Ray's recovery in detail.