#i know no one cares about this tv show on here but idc

[thistableforone]

SARA DRAGO as LEA MARTELLI in Call My Agent - Italia 1.01

[happypotato48]

Century of Love EP 5-6 Unhinged Tangent Thoughts

Get your tin foil hats and clown makeups ready besties, cause this circus is about to get messy. hold on to your butts and let's gooooo!

Least surprising "reveal" in history of TV. everybody saw this coming and thank god the show didn't make a big deal out of it.

Oh hi ironfist you better serve some cunty action tonight.

Ok now this is what i wanted thank you mr. stunt man. sorry daou you're good but not this good.

*No dirty thoughts, dirty thoughts*

this bitch been reward with a caring man after a misdemeanor attempted. Nu Wu really says be gay do crime huh.

I'm not going gaga over this man cause i'm a new blood bl watcher so this is my first time with this actor but dang, this man in doctor coat is doing it for me.

San you nerd you need to move on from this one moment in your live already, not adding shits to it.

We stan this unbothered king. i'm a sucker for jealousy because i'm trash like that. but seriously i loved that the show made Wee reacted to all of it with 'meh'.

Hey, stalking is one from of family bonding.

The title of the book is ฟ้าลิขิต Fahlikit (Fah = heaven, likit = script) so yeah it's means fate/destiny but written by heaven is thematically more fitting.

Yeah someone with no memory of and lives different than whose ever soul they inherited is by every mean a different person.

I'm trash so this is doing so much to me idc how nonvalid or toxic this stance is. i'm all for it.

A bit on the nose but fuck it this is a BL, who careeee!

And now to EP 6.

เล่นหูเล่นตาไม่ดูอายุตัวเองเลยนะอากง.

Homophobic grandpapa has evolved into พระเอก BL grandpapa. good for him.

Don't worry gramp. kids these days are kinda into that.

As a person whose rode his first rollercoaster two months ago and felt almost nothing. i can say that i'm a certified badass or idk maybe i'm dead inside :P

Look i know a lot of people don't like love triangle but as resident garbage gobbler. having two men fighting over me is my ultimate fantasy.

This man really go from ew no homo to give me that booty in 5 seconds huh. i liked it, he's too old to be muddling for too long.

Big applause to the costume department. cause whose ever put daou in that deserve a raise.

งานเต้นรำในคืนพระจันทร์เต็มดวง! this show really coming for my gay heart.

Someone call the ambulance this scene gonna give me a หัวใจ Y. OMG this short and the side and full boobies are everything! i can't.

It's the noses thing, i love the noses thing!

Go make some new memories and stop try to relive your old life old man.

Welcome to this century mr. late boomer bisexual.

One thoery down, i don't think grandma here is Wad reincarnated.

Her smile is kinda creepy anyone noticed that or it is just me :P anyways DRAMA!!!

This BL lakorn contuning to be excellence and i'm all in team Wee is not Wad gang. cause thematically feels more satisfied to me but in the end idc who is who. i just want to see the drama and angst unfold in the most spectacular and i have faith that this show will delivered.

[campbenji]

*JWCT SPOILERS* very messy first thoughts

OH BOY here we go

-ben and darius's dynamic was epic. the hug. the roadtrip scenes. "is your friend okay?" "no 😊". ben getting darius out of his isolation cabin and darius grounding him in ep2. the parallels with s3ep7. "you kiss your mother with that mouth?" i'm gonna be thinking about that scene for days. their ship is still a swim to me but please they better keep whatever the fuck they have going on in s2 because it's fucking wonderful

-i love that they took the chance to give more light to duos we didn't see much in jwcc. teamups we didn't often see like ben and sammy, THE B-DUO, and darius and sammy got very special moments here

-the amount of pictures/videos from the six years in between??? the brooklynn flashbacks??? we were so well fed

-BRAND!!!!!! i got so happy when i heard him the first episode, he's clearly been checking on his brother and i'm glad he's ok

-bowman family FEAST. brand and darius talking over the phone. the pictures on the cabin. kenji saying he calls mrs. bowman once a week and all the nice things he said about her. the whole mess between kenji and darius. "we're brothers, right?" i died dead. i love this family your honor

-sammy. she's got so much going on and we desperately need to talk about it. i'm so worried about her, she's desperately trying to avoid confronting what happened with brooklynn, with yaz and her own trauma, and then they casually dropped on us that her family isn't speaking to her and never elaborated on that?? sammy, who's love and care for her family was her biggest motivation in jwcc?? i need to know what happened because it must've been big

-mateo!! i liked him a lot, he definitely doesn't want to get into any of this mess but still dabbles around a bit to help the kids, which i respect. also i hope we get to meet his daughter hiraya, she sounds really cool

-MS MICROBANGS (or the handler, or whatever name we're calling her). what is her deal. who is she working for. she's so uncanny, literally almost robotic i need to know more about her

-brookenji over i cheered. don't take this personally i've never been a fan of this ship and a part of me knew they weren't going to last long

-the animation increased in quality so much. the scene after ben, yaz and sammy get out of the sinking van is so well done it's so pretty to look at. and the t-rex with the explosion behind her? it reminds me so much of toro in the tunnels in s1ep8, and i haven't tested this out but i feel like if you put them one next to the other the improvement would be so noticeable.

-also related to the point above: that thing when a character's eyes start filling up with tears but they don't cry just yet? 10/10. chef's fucking kiss

-sure jwct has the same tv-y7 rating as jwcc, but from minute 1 it's obvious it's not the same audience they're talking to. it's not a big change in tone, like for example adventure time/distant lands/fionna and cake, but it's there, you can tell they know it's not little kids watching anymore

-BUMPY IS HAVING A BABY BUMPY IS A MOM NOW they had me shit scared for her and then they pulled a freaking egg my heart was literally pounding. anyways i hope they get both bumpy and the egg somewhere safe and that they name the new anky "speckles" (i've gotten so attached to that name in the last 24 hours it's insane)

-YASAMMY THE QUEENS THAT YOU ARE. their relationship was stellar this season, i was scared when i saw that they were apart but their issues felt organic to their relationship and i just love how they were written in the show, they are still so in love with each other and i can't wait to see where they go next season. they're everything to me

-yeah they were apart for half the season but. benji crumbs. the egg cradle scene. kenji helping ben after he got hit with the stun gun. basically all they did was act like they knew each other but idc. we are so back.

-the brooklynn reveal was... meh?? it could've been more rewarding if they waited until s2 to reveal she's still alive, but at least i hope they take their time before reuniting her with the rest of the camp fam. also i can't believe ppl even guessed what arm she was going to lose y'all have prophetic powers or smth

-bringing daniel back to kill him the same episode was an insane move btw. i would've normally complained but it's all worth it for causing the panic attack scene in ep7. kenji's reaction felt so genuine, i'm forever in awe at how well this show writes grief and trauma

-i'm so conflicted about darius's confession. i like dinostar, but i feel like it wasn't needed for darius to be in love with brooklynn to explain the voicemails and the way he was dealing with her death. she was one of his closest friends, his grief made sense even with them being platonic. on the other hand, i love how he admitted it to kenji and the fact they didn't turn it into a huge fight between them; also, "i didn't know i could even feel that way" aroace/acespec darius truthers never lose

-maybe it's just that i need to rewatch, but i'm lost as to where they're going next season?? i know they're getting on a boat but where does that go?? what are they trying to do?? there's so much happening my head is spinning

-ben... he kind of felt like the comic relief for most of the show, the first episodes showed him as being really paranoid again and struggling with being alone, but halfway through the season they just sort of forgot about it?? idk something was off

-bring back kenji's old latin spanish va idk who this guy is but that is not kenji i can't do this. i'll survive the loss of ryan potter but i won't survive this

anyways yeah i think those are most of my uncooked thoughts, overall i really liked the season, i can't believe we got to see the kids again this is still so unreal to me

[kendallville]

incredibly hot (well, maybe not amongst Jeremy fans but OH WELL lemme preach to the choir) take but: i find the way Jeremy is talked about his ex Succession co-stars these days so very obnoxious. Why should we or anyone care about his "method"? I watch him act fantastically on my tv screen, that alone is a joy for me, and his interviews show he cares a lot about his craft. To be too cool for school and shrug everything off is also its own method actors go about what they do - and lemme tell you, I find that so much more embarrassing than someone who might use flowery language, quote European intellectuals, and perhaps do like hearing themselves talk - the latter is pretty universal.

As a whole, idc if an actor is annoying in that sense, because I don't have to coexist with them (besides, I do know people who are indeed annoying in that way - some of them are my friends). Do they entertain me, cause me to feel emotion, will I be in awe when watching them work? If the answer to all of that is yes, then I like the actor. As long as they're not confirmed to be harrassing their castmates (or anyone at all), a creep who endangers them, or a genuine bigot, I truly DGAF. Unlike Brian Cox, apparently, who openly backs actors known to be domestic abusers and/or rapists. Plus, can't recall the last time various people have roasted Daniel Day-Lewis like that over his method... 🤔 (also: I could die very happily if I never have to hear that goddamned Laurence Olivier quote to Dustin Hoffman ever again)

Kieran's cheap shots also didn't exactly endear me to him - even though I think he's a great actor and I will see A Real Pain when it comes out in theatres here. But hm, let's just say that I am actively rooting for him to lose when he goes up against Jeremy in the Best Supporting Actor category and to also lose as Best Leading Actor if he ends up in that category when Jeremy loses in Best Supporting.

Yes, this is petty but [shrugs]

Sorry for leaving a rant in your askbox LOL ❤️

Thank you so much for that ask! I totally agree with everything you wrote.

For me one thing is true - when I watched second season of Succession, there was something in Kendall that tore me apart. I really felt his emotions and I haven't experienced that ever before watching TV show. It was so surprising, but also excilariting. Someone my age suddenly being floored by watching some rich guy mope around.

And then, later, I learned how Jeremy Strong has approached creating Kendall's character. It became clear to me that the realness of the emotions came from a very deep place of the actor, the person. To think that someone was ready to go that far for the role (he said it led him to some very dark places and that he has lost feeling of joy) makes you look at the whole craft differently.

I love how serious and thoughtful he is in describing his work, it's something so rare these days. Jeremy always says that you need to be brave and do things that scare you, and that's how he lives, and it's very inspiring.

I also agree that Kieran acts like he's just a guy who comes to do "whatever", and it's actually ironic, because from what he describes he does a lot of things similarly to Jeremy - he didn't want to rehearse in A Real Pain and he mentions that he let the Benji character act out, like he didn't know what would happen, how he would behave. That's exactly what Jeremy did while filming Succession.

It's clear that someone's process might be difficult for other actors, but from what I gather, Jeremy mostly kept to himself and was isolating, so I don't think it was such a big burden for them, other than a fact that it probably created tensed atmosphere, but on the other hand - Kieran and Sarah are best buds (she's a godmother of one of his kids) and Brian talks fondly of both of them, so they're good. The only one left out is Jeremy (not counting Alan Ruck, sorry Con), that's the choice he made and he seems to accept it.

For me the best proof of Jeremy's grace and thoughtfulness is the fact that he never reacted to Brian Cox's cheap shots; he literally said that he admires him when asked about his comments.

As to the awards, I watched A Real Pain and it's a good movie, but as a Succession freak I must say that Kieran performed Benji character in a very similar way to how he portrayed Roman, this guy is just more open about his feelings. I'm surprised it wasn't noted in any reviews, but maybe it's just me. I think Kieran might win with Jeremy because he's more liked in the industry, but for me, trying to be as objective as I can, the performance of Jeremy in 'The Apprentice' is just leaps and bounds superior to that of Kieran's in 'A Real Pain'.

[monaisdark]

KEN x READER

➵ cws; f!reader, noncon, misogyny, talk of virginities, unrequited feelings, slight thoughts of death at very end, reader is a doll, bad ken :( ➵ a/n; ken is definitely ooc but idc i need him carnally. wrote this so fast after seeing the movie (amazing btw) spoilers be warned!!! p.s inbox is open ^^

Barbie's plan is in motion, and it seems like everything is going perfectly. Dolls are getting un-brainwashed left and right, including you. The moment you snap out of your trance and look down to see the incredibly small pink skirt and lace top dawning on your body, you can’t ever believe you agreed to wear that when Beach Ken gave it to you from Stereotypical Barbie’s wardrobe.

Ken. The one who started this mess. The one had you serving brewski beers and listening to long explanations on stuff you pretended to care about. A certain emotion pooled in your would-be stomach.

The Ken you used to watch pine after Barbie so deeply, the one that you always tried to console when Barbie rejected his advances. Now he’s taken over her house; well, Barbieland in general. How could he?

As Stereotypical Barbie hugs and welcomes you back as you leave the van, a thought pipes in your head. Maybe he’s doing this because Barbie doesn’t want him. She was so headstrong, front and center in every party she hosted, her smile iconic in every way imaginable. And Ken… was always on the side. Whenever he danced with you at her parties, his eyes were glued to her.

It hits you, he thinks this will work. That maybe she’ll turn around and jump into his arms once she notices what a big, strong, man he is. It won’t work and you know. But, he doesn’t. 

A Barbie fills you in on what they’re doing, and how they want you to distract Beach Ken as long as possible while they round up more Barbies to un-brainwash them. Telling you how it’s perfect since he had you around a lot and he’ll be none the wiser to realize everything that’s happening.

♡♡♡

“Hi, Ken!” You exclaimed as he let you into his dojo mojo casa house. “Hi, (Y/N)!” A smile framed his face once he saw you. The artificial-looking moon hovered in the sky as a quiet hum surrounded you in the empty neighborhood.

“I was looking for you, how come you aren’t with everyone at the bonfire on the beach?” His face seemed to drop but he didn’t let go of his macho persona. “Wasn’t feelin’ it. Rather…” He thought for a second, “Watch horses. Y’know. Man things.”

You nodded, “Oh, yeah! Love all these horses you have around.” It clicked that he was avoiding things, avoiding Barbie. He wanted so desperately for her to come to his door. For her to come to him. Instead, it was you who knocked and stood in her clothes. 

He huffed thanks and sat on the couch, you following beside him as he stared at a white horse gallop loop on the screen in front of both of you. It was obvious he was still bothered by his situation. A pang of sympathy left at the tip of your tongue, “Are you okay?”

This seemed to stir something in Ken, the air felt thick. “What am I doing wrong?” His voice was low. So quiet that you were almost sure it was like he didn’t want you to hear him.

But you did and you felt… bad for him. You grabbed his hands that laid on his lap with one of yours, “Ken, you can’t make something that won’t happen, happen.”

He brought his eyes from the TV to now stare at you. His blue eyes held something brooding behind them, but it didn’t deter you from continuing. “Some Barbies don’t have a Ken. Not everyone is made to follow a set of expectations, like how there’s one Alan… or me.” You trail off to include yourself, hoping he sees how you understand him.

“What I’m saying is, it’s okay that Barbie doesn’t want to be with you. I’m sure there’s more for you out here. Someone for you.” You tighten the soft grip you have on his hands to show comfort. 

His face is almost unreadable, an uncomfortable silence echoes in the living room as you wonder if you messed up in trying to help. His hands now grasped yours, although a lot tighter than you’d liked. Ken chuckled, but it carried a sense of something you couldn't quite place.

“I’m an idiot!” His voice finally booms to break the silence in the house, “You’re right. You’re right. I don’t need her.” You would’ve been more optimistic in helping with his realization of independency but the grip he had on your hand was starting to hurt.

“I’ve spent so long trying to make her notice me, but why would I need her when I have you?” Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to stand but he immediately brought you back down on the couch.

“No, no. That's not what I meant, listen to me–” He inched closer to you, using his strength to pin you down on the large couch. “No, you’re supposed to listen to me.” Betrayal, sadness, fear. So many emotions you weren’t used to swirled inside of you. 

“You’re perfect, y’know? I’ve been thinking about this, us. I wasn’t sure but the way you’ve been by my side all this time, so ready to make me feel better.” He speaks as one of his hands leaves your wrists to dough at your breasts through your lace top.

“So happy to follow me around with bewski beers and to wear the cute little outfits I picked out for you. Dare I say, you look better than Barbie in them.” A dark laugh left his lips, the contrast making your stomach turn as he ignored your small pleas for him to let you go. “Now I see so clearly. We should’ve been together all this time! Ken and (Y/N). I like the sound of that more.” 

You weren’t sure why your chest seemed to pound, or your mouth felt dry, or why tears pricked in your eyes. This wasn’t meant to happen. “What– what are you doing?” You felt almost twice as small as you normally were, wishing your body would shrink and wiggle out of his grasp.

His hand trailed from your chest to under your skirt, between your legs. A gasp left you when he rubbed the foreign part of you covered by a thin underwear.

“The books I’ve read said this,” His hand gave you an oddly warm sensation down there, “It’s important for us to be together. To make you mine.” Suddenly he spread your legs apart to peel down your underwear.

You’re terrified to move, not even noticing that there wasn’t a grip on your wrists anymore. His demeanor alone was enough to keep you down. 

You knew what you had down there, a vagina, and you knew Ken had a penis. Though everyone in Barbieland had one or the other, nobody acknowledged it. It wasn’t something that was shunned per se, but it was like how some dolls had breasts and other’s didn’t. The peak of anything suggestive was making out, and even that disinterested you.

Now, whatever Ken is doing, is making you feel as if you're about to melt. His fingers circle around your entrance and you don’t even get enough time to get used to that feeling before he pulls away and starts lowering down his joggers to free his aching cock. His stupid faux mink coat already having been long discarded right next to your underwear. 

His breathing is heavy, “That should be good, right? You’re ready now? For the sex?” Ken stares at your flushed state with lidded eyes, “I can’t wait anymore. Don’t worry, it should feel amazing!”

You have no idea what he’s talking about. He’s kissing you now, loud moans leave his lips as he sinks into you. Pain. It hurts so bad. Whatever he said about being ready, you definitely weren’t.

The stretching tears you apart and you’re unsure if the burn will ever go away. Ken’s body lays on top of you, a blubbering mess. “Ah, ah, this– this is great, so good.” 

So many feelings overwhelm you in a way that it makes you want just to scream. Hate. Hate is the strongest one. You guys used to be good friends. Everything used to be right. You hate him, you hate him, you hate him. You can only repeat that in your head once he starts to thrust into you. 

“Y-you’re mine, aren’t you? Ah– I, I took your virginity. That means, agh– that means you have to stay with me.” His voice mixes in with the sound of his skin slapping into yours, he says something about patriarchy and virginities. He’s claimed you, as the book says. 

You wonder how long this is going to last, you’re pretty sure he’s feeling amazing, but all you feel is an ache. The pain travels up and down your body as all you can do is whimper weak cries. “(Y/N), ah-- I love you.” Ken’s thrusting faster, trailing kisses down your jawline. “Say it back, (Y/N).” 

No, you can’t and you won’t. Ken keeps moaning and saying he loves you over and over again. Each time it’s like he expects you to respond with the same thing back, you don’t. It doesn’t stop him though, his movements become more and more messy. You think he’s getting tired when a harsh snap of his hips with an especially loud moan takes your breath away. A new feeling. Full. 

Again, you didn’t know what just happened. A confused sob is finally let out once you catch your breath, “Ken, what did you do?” You hope he understands you through your choked breaths.

He ignores you, taking sight at the mess he just made. White cum drips out of you, a beautiful scene. “Oh, (Y/N). I wish you can see how perfect you look right now.” His hug around your body is suffocating, "I'm so excited for us to do so many new things tonight."

The new thought of dying creeps into your mind. 

[lastoneout]

Everyone: YouTube is such a garbage platform! It only cares about ad money and exploiting creators, and they have frankly draconian rules about what you can say or show, and sometimes even if you follow all the rules you'll either lose your money and viewerbase to demonetization, and there's basically no way to fix that unless you are a huge creator who makes a massive stink about it on Twitter, or to the algorithm just deciding your videos aren't worth promoting anymore. I hate how many ads there are too, 2+ prerolls, midrolls, and ones at the end?? Tons are unskippable and they often contain triggering content with NO warning. And like, half the sponsorships are for corrupt scams and full of lies. And ugh the switch to prioritizing short from content is fucking over anyone who doesn't want to make discount tiktoks. Plus they're trying to stop people from using adblocker in fucked up ways. And on top of all that Google is just straight up evil. YouTube really does suck these days :/ I feel bad for the creators I love who are stuck using it.

Watcher: YouTube was a good place for our shows at first, but as you all know if you want to make money here you have to compromise the types of content you want to make to please the algorithm and advertisers, and we don't want to make content for them, we want to make quality TV shows for and supported by our viewers, so we can grow and offer even more, much higher quality stuff, so it's time to open our own independant streaming service. It's as cheap as we can make it, and we also want to give our fans more control and so there's a deal if you sign up now where you get 30% off for the first year and can vote on our next show, plus we will never implement any measures to prevent account sharing, one person can share with whoever they want. We're still going to upload trailers and premiers on YouTube, and we will NOT be deleting anything that's already up here. We hope you can support us, because it's your support that matters to us more than anything else.

Everyone: Oh my god you guys are such assholes who hate poor people, what the fuck is your problem!! How dare you abandon us, here's a huge paragraph about how your shows are the only thing that makes my life worth living because [xyz systemic issue], just so you know you're actively ruining our lives by trying to get rid of ads, make better content, and focus on what the viewers want. Why didn't you switch to Nebula or something?? Idc if that's not how it works. Fuck you all, I'm going to go review bomb all your videos. This is so evil and scummy. Also, I'm pissed because people are claiming this isn't avaliable in the rest of the world, even though no one has offered a single source to back it up. Anyway back to watching Dropout, a service you have to pay for, which I'm not mad about at all.

Me:

[is-your-blorbo-neurodivergent]

does she have adhd?

submit your own characters here to be featured!

reason: She does object to the way society works for feminist reasons, but it’s made clear through the duration of the show that the it upsets her in particular because she struggles to “fit in” with society’s rules and expectations, even when she tries to. Her family considers her to be (affectionately) different and odd and say (paraphrasing) there’s no way she’s ever going to conform to society’s expectations. She often talks for prolonged periods of time but will also stop when interrupted. You can see her, like, light up when asked to talk about her thoughts/what she’s interested in (there’s That One Scene from S3 Pt 1 with Cressida which is just sooo infodumping to me). She struggles with activities that require her to sit still or be quiet for a long time (like presenting herself to the Queen & parties in general) and seems generally very restless (she also runs away from balls a lot, something she did even before she was hanging out with Theo). She is thought of as “loud.” She can be impulsive and say/do things without fully thinking them through. She struggles during conversations and forgets to ask/press people for details about what they’re thinking, but not because she doesn’t care: When people explicitly tell her how they’re feeling personally she does demonstrate compassion. Especially in her conversations with her best friend Penelope in season 1 and 2, Pen doesn’t feel listened to because she will imply things during conversation that El doesn’t pick up on, which is what I think causes a lot of problems in their relationship. (mandatory disclaimer not blaming Pen for this either, I just think they both struggled to communicate because they were doing it differently) I also think that while it IS tied to her beliefs in feminism too, her hyperfocused interest in Whistledown feels so much like a hyperfixation to me. She’s also hated by large parts of the fandom for reasons that essentially boil down to “being too loud/annoying.” And idk, what is more Girl With ADHD than that? Other traits of hers that aren’t necessarily symptoms of ADHD but I relate to them and feel they’re connected to my ADHD: very competitive, very unintentionally expressive (on her face and body), very curious/questioning everything, reading a lot, feeling like people treat her more like a “quirky” form of entertainment than taking her thoughts/feelings seriously. Hopefully this was coherent but In conclusion: I have ADHD and she is just like me fr, therefore she also has ADHD.

[atopvisenyashill]

🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇷🐢🏝️ i got tired of complaining constantly on my main blog (@thewingedwolf is me!) about how sansa and rhaenyra did nothing wrong and also i needed a way to organize my theories and stuff. yes i have read all the books. yes i have (unfortunately) seen the whole show. yes i have seen all of hotd as well. so here we go. my stances are this, so you have an idea what to expect:

i am a catelyn, sansa, brienne, elia, lyanna and rhaenyra stan FIRST and a person SECOND

i would die for Gaemon Palehair, Lady Essie, and Sylvenna Sand, those are my canon OCs, and that’s why they’re my header.

maegor rhaena and aerea also could have saved westeros & jaehaerys should have been aborted in the womb.

Sansa and Bran are my favorites! I am a Sansa will be Queen in the North truther and a Bran will be the King in Harrenhal conspiracy theorist, It Is Heavily Foreshadowed In The Text and I stand on that!!

I'm well aware Rhaenyra has plenty of faults, I am saying that the greens (as in, the characters) do not like her because of her gender, and not for stuff she does that’s actually wrong, also, idc that she did all of that i simply think she’s fun.

Helaena really IS the one who did nothing wrong tho.

i am a Dark Daenerys believer. no, i don’t hate her - in fact, i really love her, although i do hate her show counterpart - I just think her arc is heading towards a dark path and being a villain protagonist is the more interesting route for her character.

House Martell will rise or I will piss in old man germ’s cornflakes.

I Will talk about the racism Dorne faces in the text and outside of it and neither your favorite house nor my favorite house is exempt from this. If you have a problem with that, keep it to yourself bc i do not care 🙏🏽

i multiship!! just bc i ship it doesn’t mean i think it’s gonna happen in the series, i just like the dynamic!!

i am in fact the annoying book jonsa truther they warned you about. i will Stay bitter about this. argue with the wall.

with that said, i also like theonsa, throbb, daemyra, laenyra, rhaewin, nedcat, braime, briensa, and a million other ones. faves listed here. several of them are dead dove-esque; what can i say, that's just george's style.

you decide whether it’s romantic or platonic when it’s an incest one, my opinion changes by the hour & im gonna fight grrm for making me think this much about incest.

i don’t like jonerys!!!!!! i'm sansan & sanrion ambivalent and i simply do not care about littlefucker like that. i would say i’ve thought positively about basically every other ship.

I JUST FINISHED A REREAD and i Have started a rewatch of the tv series as a form of torture.

i first read this series when i was 16 in like 2012-2013. i love to bitch about the takes i’ve seen. i sometimes reblog really old ass graphics bc they deserve new life even tho the creators are long since deactivated. i sometimes make graphics that look like they’re from 2014 bc we should bring that style back dammit i hate the typography movement going on rn.

big on tagging triggers so lmk (i’ll tag for all characters & major triggers but i’m fine with adding a specific one if asked and don't worry about it being a "weird" trigger - if sean bean's face or knives or wolves or whatever trigger you, i'm happy to tag for that!). my spoiler policy is that i’ll tag everything from this season as “hotd spoilers” and any of the Big Events with “episode title spoilers” but i can’t guarantee I can be consistent longer than like 2 days though i will try!! i Will be talking about any book canon events tho, the books have been out for years either you know how to avoid them or you know everything, i’m not tagging that.

i have a tag page that is more organized than the slapdash nonsense on this post, feel free to check it out here.

i may sound angry but i promise i am genuinely just here for a laugh. i just have resting bitch voice and no feel for tone and use the word fuck too much. it’s fine and unserious.

[cryptidsurveys]

Tuesday, December 3rd, 2024.

Why did you close the door the last time you closed one? I closed the bathroom door. We used to close it because the sink faucet was leaky and the noise was obnoxious, but now I just do it out of habit.

Stripes or polka dots? Not a huge fan of either when it comes to clothing.

Do you care if people touch you when they’re talking to you? Depends. Like if they come over and put their hand on my arm or shoulder while they're telling me something, that's fine, idc.

What is your gender? So ready to transcend this mortal flesh so I don't have to think about it anymore.

Do you think that people think its obvious? Hella.

How long did your first date last? You mean the relationship? A little over a year.

Is your favorite color within 10 feet of you? Yeah.

Highlight of your day? Probably seeing Nan. She's great. She's a volunteer who does shitloads of laundry for the shelter.

Would you rather be on a boat or a plane? What kind of boat? What kind of plane? Where am I going?

Can you tell when girls (or guys) have eyeliner on? Probably.

Can you cook? Lol I usually say, "Well, I can follow a recipe - it's not that hard." But sometimes it is that hard - to trust and just do what it says. ;D

How high is your ceiling? Idk.

Whats the worst job you can think of? Got that Hoist the Colors North Sea oil rig song stuck the fvck in my head right now.

Do you swear a lot? Depends on the company and how zesty I'm feeling.

Does the last person you texted have an O in their name? No.

Is everything working in your house? No.

Would you rather have a pool or a trampoline? Trampoline.

Does pop give you energy? Not enough to be noticeable. Same with coffee.

TV show you love with a passion? Let's go with podcasts instead since I don't really watch TV anymore. One of my favorites would be Brothers of the Serpent.

Do you think you learned anything from the worst night of your life? Not sure what I would consider to be the worst night of my life, but probably a combination of "I can survive more than I think I can" and "self-destruction never makes a difficult situation better."

Perfect age to get married? I don't think there is a perfect age.

Is it safe to say you own over 20 pairs of shoes? Not even close.

Name a career path that women are known for taking. I don't know if this is a career path women are known for taking, but the animal shelter staff is comprised of mostly women. There are only two men working there atm.

Favorite type of cookie? Peanut butter, white chocolate macadamia nut, sugar cookies…etc.

A quality you look for in choosing a significant other? Aside from the usual qualities, the sense that I can just be myself around them. That they really do love me for me.

What would I find if I looked in your pocket? Nothing.

What was your first word? Aside from Mama and Dada, I think it was Duck.

A musical instrument you wouldn’t mind learning how to play? Harp, guitar, or violin.

Last time you went to 7-eleven? No idea. But I was at Loaf-N-Jug recently to fill up on gas.

A fast food restaurant that you hate with a passion? There isn't one.

Does everyone in your family have a job? My mom and dad are retired. Last I knew, my sibling wasn't working. I'm also not employed, but I do volunteer work.

Going anywhere this weekend? Animal shelter both days.

Is your room ever clean? Yeah.

What does it mean when you’re being quiet? Could mean almost anything. Tired, shy, sick, uncomfortable, don't have anything to say, simply chillin'.

Last person you had a face to face conversation with? My dad.

Where’s your phone? On my desk, charging.

Do you know the difference between your and you’re? Yeah.

How late did you stay up last night? I was in bed by around 7:00pm.

Anyone you’re ready to kill? No. Not even myself. :')

Do you need to get a tan? Curious about how I would look with a tan, but I don't actually want one.

What do you want? Gonna drop an annoying cliche here, but I would love to "find my tribe." I'm acquainted with a number of great people, but…ugh. Chronic outsider syndrome.

Favorite TV show as a kid? Franklin, Little Bear, DBZ, Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, Gullah Gullah Island, Hey Arnold, etc.

What’s a show that you absolutely refuse to watch? There are plenty of shows I'm not interested in watching, but it's not like I'm specifically refusing.

How many times have you been in love? A few times.

Go camping or go to a party? Camping.

Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? I don't remember exactly, but probably sometime around middle school.

How many years older than you would you date someone? Might consider up to lower / mid 40s.

What was the last thing you pinky swore on? I have no idea.

Would you consider yourself a nice person? Could always do better, but I certainly try to be.

Are there a lot of mirrors in your house? Not really.

Has there ever been a serial killer in your house? No…?

Do you know anyone who looks like Adam Sandler? No.

True or false: Glee is annoying. I've never seen it before.

Last thing you cooked? Chicken.

Do you use slang often? Sometimes.

Wear glasses? When I'm driving.

About how old was the last person that hit on you? I haven't been hit on in ages.

What color are your headphones? Black.

Would you make a good teacher? Why? I doubt it. Even when it comes to subjects that interest me, I'm not very good at explaining them or building up a foundation from the beginning.

Don’t you hate those commercials that try too hard? I hate commercials in general.

Is the fan on? No.

Any special reason why you’re taking this survey? Took it for a couple of questions and now I'm regrettably committed.

What does the last text message you sent say? I sent a few random words to my dad to let him know I was on the way home from the shelter earlier.

Your friend needs you to run to the store to get a pregnancy test. Do you? I have one friend and it's not possible for them to get pregnant. They also live in California, so even if it was for their partner or whoever, the answer would still be no.

Do you log out on facebook when you leave the site? Don't use Facebook. I don't log out of my other social media accounts, though.

What color are your underwear? Blue, gray, and yellow. Lol, they've got dump trucks on them. ;D

How short are your nails? Pretty short, but I still need to clip them within the next couple of days.

Do you like the opposite sex to be dominant or you the one in control? I would prefer a more "dominant" partner. Not to the point of being overbearing, but more of a protective / take the lead kind of way.

Favorite holiday? I just love the holiday season in general. It's not about the actual days themselves, but the feelings of excitement, nostalgia, and festivity surrounding them.

If I asked you to point to Ohio on a map of the US do you think you could? Nope. Pointed to Wisconsin instead lmao.

You’re locked in a room with spiders. Do you have an issue? Like two spiders or an absolute infestation of them? Depending on the circumstances, I might be more upset about being locked in a room.

Do you wear your most expensive item of clothing often? None of my clothing is expensive.

Do you eat a lot of food? It feels like it.

Have your parents ever tried to control your relationship? No.

Have you ever had to give someone directions before? Yeah.

Speaking of which, are you good at understanding driving directions? For the most part.

How many people do you text daily? I don't text anyone on a daily basis, but I text my dad most frequently and will occasionally post to the cattery group chat.

Do you play any instruments? Which instruments do you play? No.

Is there anyone who you call by their last name? No.

What did you do on your last birthday? I spent the morning at the animal shelter and then went out to lunch with my parents.

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins do you commit the most? Envy and sloth.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re incapable of whispering? No.

What is your least favorite subject in school? It used to be Math.

Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? No.

Do you know a couple who constantly sucks on each other’s faces? I don't.

When was the last time you watched a YouTube video? Earlier this morning. A video by Shawna Ripari.

Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? No.

When was the last time you held someone’s hand? No idea.

How many meals have you eaten today, so far? Two.

Do you think it’s stupid for people to call others “hot?” No…?

Do you personally think Wikipedia is a reliable source? No.

Have you ever shopped at Wet Seal before? Did you like it? I've been to Wet Seal before, but I didn't purchase anything.

What is your favorite Disney movie of all time? Ooh, that's tough. Maybe Pocahontas, Beauty & the Beast, or Moana.

When you were a child, did you ever want to become a wizard/witch? Maybe a little bit.

Would you rather have hardwood floors or carpet? Definitely hardwood. So sick of dirty old carpet.

Who was the last person you yelled at? Why? Probably my dad.

As a kid, did you ever go to camp? Yeah. Camp Jackson and Camp Lazy Acres.

Have you ever made out in a movie theater before? Hmmm.

Are you currently trying to learn to play any instrument? No.

When was the last time you went somewhere you thought was haunted? I don't think I've been anywhere I felt was haunted.

Who was the last person to compliment you? Nan.

How old were you when you got to go on your first date? I think I was 13. I went to a Gold Kings hockey game with Michael and his mom.

Would you call your parents over-protective or under-protective? Somewhere in the middle, I suppose, with my dad being slightly more over-protective.

Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? Yeah.

Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? I don't think so.

Do you still watch cartoons on television? No.

What do you usually order at Taco Bell, if you go there? I haven't been to Taco Bell in forever, but maybe a black bean crunch wrap supreme and a side of nachos and cheese.

Is there anyone currently annoying you? No.

Have you ever felt like someone was following you? No.

Do you like short or long surveys the best? I prefer shorter ones. This one was a bit too long for my tastes.

Have you ever bought fake money and tried to make it pass for real? No.

Are your siblings nice the majority of the time? I have no idea how my sibling acts the majority of the time, but due to some of the things they've said and done, I don't think of them as a very nice person.

Do you freak out when a thunderstorm comes along? Nooo. I love thunderstorms.

How often do you shower? Almost daily. Twice daily if I go to the shelter.

Have you ever had to sell something for a school fundraiser? Yeah.

How many sodas do you usually drink in one day? Zero.

Have you ever met someone who was completely weird all-around? Sure.

Do you ever watch any soap operas? Naw.

Have you ever met someone who was mean to everyone? Not everyone but Alex could be that way behind some people's backs. Made me wonder what she was saying when I wasn't around.

Do you think long surveys are boring or entertaining? Sometimes they start to drag. No matter how interesting the questions are, I start to get drained after a while.

What color is your significant other’s hair? No significant other.

Have you ever applied for a job at Walmart before? No.

Would you ever become a foster parent? No.

Are you ashamed of anyone in your family? No.

When you get married, will you convert your last name? Probably.

Are your parents divorced, married or separated? They're separated, technically not fully / legally divorced.

Has someone ever left a relationship with you for someone else? Yeah.

What’s the most painful thing you’ve ever experienced? I don't knooowww. It's so hard to pick a single event because it's not always about the event itself, but how it piled upon or compounded other already existing hardships.

[koreandragon]

Kdramas are in such a sorry state lately it's so sad. We're getting all these sequels for shows that mostly weren't supposed to have multiple seasons so they're a mess bc they have no story to tell. They're all dazzle razzle and no actual decent writing (taxi driver, nine tailed fox, romantic doctor etc) and then we have the 500 crime/thriller shows which are mostly deeply mediocre or downright awful. At least with romcoms if the chemistry is good and the character work is decent enough you can have a really fun show. With these dramas most of it hinges on a well written plot at which the majority fail spectacularly. News came out a few weeks ago that there are 80 dramas made that might never air bc they have no platform bc all the big ones cut the wen-thurs slot except jtbc so there are 80 dramas that will most likely rot after so much hard work and these could be great dramas, because their criteria is it will air if it has big names in it, so this is not a quality issue. Netflix really f*cked us, not only did it start the collapse of the us industry( writers are striking, actors are about to strike, shows are getting cancelled after 1/2 seasons and 8 episodes, shows getting purged for a buck, everyone is only looking for IP with big names and no one cares about good ideas or creativity) it also insidiously burrowed into the kdrama industry and changed the genres of dramas we get, the number of episodes we get, even the sequels bc it used to be no matter how huge a shows ratings were, the worst they could do was an extension, sequels weren't a thing that happened except very rarely in prodecurals like ten or vampire prosecutor. The entire thing is a sad state of affairs, another case of tech bros devastating an industry (I'm referring to the US tv/movie industry) they don't understand to line their pockets and moving on to the next one while the wreckage left in their wake will never be salvaged.

anon i absolutely agree. this is such a depressing topic for me especially because i just love cinema so much. my parents raised me to love movies then i eventually fell in love with tv shows and kdramas and it literally kills me to see the downfall of these amazing comforts in my life. i think the main reason why i haven't been here is because i just wasn't feeling like dragging through another kdrama with a medicore plot. y'all know what i was doing instead? watching old movies i've been meaning to watch for a long time or rewatching classics. you hear this every day and you could jump me for it but...they don't make them like they used to anymore. and idc how corny it sounds cause it's fucking true. exluding some very good recent movies where people making it still care about making an enjoyable piece of media (i don't give a fuck what anyone thinks of tom cruise or top gun, maverick was the only new movie in a long time that made me feel like i used to while watching movies and i literally cannot wait for the new mission impossible film). i'm a 100% with the writers strike, i really hope that they can get what they want and we will finally get back at least a fraction of something that was lost along the way. netflix was supposed to make things accessible, not turn the industry upside down and inside out then light it on fire and piss on the flames. every time i read a season 2 announcement of a kdrama i just go UGHHHHHHH. why are we adding seasons to a show that doesn't need it and why are we cancelling seasons for shows that needed to go longer to tell a story? what's the fucking rationale? oh oh OH mONEy???? netflix don't have enough MONEYYYY??? can't pay residuals to writers or renew a show that has moved people and has more story to tell but has money to make a squid game IN REAL LIFE (which is in itself like....the point flew over everyone's heads) and renewing shows NO ONE ASKED FOR?? oh what? what? more and more people are unsubscribing from your service? how could that be.....only if there was a solution to keep your subscribers by offering them quality content instead of mindless cash grabs....

i'll close this with probably one of my favorite posts on this site

[roxyzwritez]

REWATCHING SU:F

this will be a chain of self reblogs as i go through each episode of the.. unfortunate part of steven universe.

------EP 1------

the way peridot goes

steven universe futureee~

gives me serotonin.

2. the connie lofigirl reference made me go OH MY GOD ITS YHE REFRENCE and im here for it

3.s l u u u u u u h r p "i think YOU, should stop trying to fix everybody." hits hard

4. "AND IF I DIDN'T CARE, YOU'D STILL BE A MONSTER TOO." goes SO hard like you fucking GO king

5.okay every line from frustrated steven in that scene gives me adrenaline rushes like now i wanna beat someone up and just gurugjfigig YEAH

6."you are NOT my diamond" funny you say that, jasper. funny you say that, jasper. fragments you say that, jasper. funny you

7.the fight scene fucks so hard

-----EP 2-----

8. steven stop narrating or else fhfgbfbbt this isnt a documentary you god damn goofball i cant be that mad (not yet you gotta talk trash about rose for me to throw hands)

9. tv froze when biggs jasper flung the ferris wheel and that's the highlight of my day

10."comfortable can be good, too." based amy for the win

11. the start of stevens downward spiral: hey lets push everyone out of their comfort zone OH JEEPERS WHY IS EVERYTHING FALLING APART

11.5: DELIVERY. DELIVERY. D E L I V E R Y.

12.you should be sorry steven beach city is now on fire like california.

13. smoky quartz representation 💗💗💗

14. pink smoky quartz could beat every single villain and hero instantly. thanos? avengers? god himself? addicted

15. choose their own future, yk? choose their own future, yk? CHOOSE THEIR OWN FUTURE, YK? CH-

------EP 3------

16. oh god rose buds. ep hasnt even started and the trauma is flooding back AWAAAAYGH my poor boy steven-

17. "after everything that's happened..." I WILL FIGHT YOU AND WIN YOU WILL RESPECT YOUR GOD DAMN MOTHER YOU MOTHERFUC- *ahem* sorry. idc if future was rushed due to unfortunate uncontrollable circumstances but this still makes me furious how fucking dare y

18. greg why couldn't you just stand up for yourself. bruh got his lack of spine from smashing the diamond im sorry that's the only criticism of pink/rose i can make and not uncontrollably punch myself

19. i wanna hang out with the famethysts. forever. i wanna laze like delinquents!! holly blue get ur ass LAZING. get with the times.

20. "i cannot wait to see the look upon your face when you see their faces" the amount of trolling is a lot more than a little

21. "yes, this is the look i wished to see!" im sorry but you will die for the mistreatment of steven cutiepie forgot the rest of your long name universe he did not deserve this

22. quiet rose gave me false hope and i died. still die when i see that one

23. WHY DON'T YOU COME TO DINNER AND FIND OUT :)))))

24. "yo steve- (bass boosted vine boom)"

25. "i haven't had that many exes show up since- (bass boosted vine boom)"

26. pearl somehow having her composure is a mystery to me. i need lessons on how to not explode in that kind of situation

27. "...but thank yOU, RO- (crowdstrike update)"

28. pearl freaking out about this is making me freak out about this and i don't know what that says about me.

29. mmmMmmmMmMMMN SLUMBER PARTTy:)))))

30. "i am dead rose quartz!" thats a crit right there right to my feels

31. the squal of terror when they turn on the tape is so hilarious but also makes me scream in terror

32. yeah bro lion would get maaad.

33. motherfucking bitch ass fuck hiding the painting in the pink realm i hope you turn into a lizard and feel bad about it OH WAIT YOU DO. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR DISRESPECTING THE LORD AND SAVIOR, ROSE QUARTZ UNIVERSE. sorry just another RRRRRAAAUGH THIS IS WHY IM MAKING THE AU I HATE STEVEN UNIVERSE FUTURE FUCKING GDOD DAMN CORPORATES RUSHING WRITERS LEADING TO BAD CONTENT AAAAA

34. funny number not putting anything here

35. oh that's why ppl ship volleypearl. i forgot the SORRY TO INTERRUPT BUT "looks like someone has still got it bad..." I DONT WANNA HEAR IT FROM YOU YOU STILL GRIEVE JUST LIKE THE REST OF anyway i forgot that blushy she had at pink pearl. i understand now

36. "im older than you:3" *restrained death stare*

37. welcome pink dia- (sudden explosion)

38. pearl stop talking down to volleyball why are you so mean GGRGRR RAAAAAAAAAA its so grating. be nice to eachother. outburst imminent

39. what.did.you.say.?

40. the pink outburst. the rage. the release. its so SATISFYING. until the pearls almost get rejuvenated of course. also megapearl is 🥰🥰🥰😳😳😳😳💗💗💗💗😚😚😚😚🥰🥰

41. megapearl in that pose just. im going to turn into rose quartz. right now. iaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQQ?&;&5525640$@)@)"78;73(2$;);96&$0)&(72)5@3495$?,'gj

42. oksy. fine. maybe volleypwarl is a valid ship (sniffles)

ok im not making this post any longr ill continue later

[nogenderbee]

My mind suddenly made me reference on that specific request, and it's about Male S/O being Ai Hoshino from Oshi no Ko. I set the timeline from before the creation of MMJ.

I like to imagine that B-Komachi has male members too, and the Ai-like male reader is the lead. In due time, he will be known as an Idol rivaling either Haruka or Shizuku. I'd like to imagine about Haruka having a friendly rivalry with him or having a collab concert.

As for Shizuku, both of them hit it off as friends when they both meet each other in one of their collabs in a tv show. I know that the fanbase will scream and melt from their radiant appearances (and also merchandises sold off really quickly). Hehe, my mind always has this sudden creation of inspiration.

(p.s. Though I have no idea on Airi's part, care to help? What do you think?)

OMGGGG HELP I'M LOVING IT

Haruka and Shizuku are canon idc ToT

As for Airi... well at beginning she kinda hated idols from what I remember? So I feel like if they ever got tv collab, she'd be sweet on cameras but not certainly as sweet backstage...

Maybe a bit salty here and there but if M!Ai-like!y/n would try to get to know her, he could! It'd just require a bit more effort and convincing her he's not like she imagines idols!

But then again, I'm not sure what Ai's personality wad fully but I think she was more after fame after all? So I feel like Airi would somehow see that...

Idk if I wrote this all right sorry ToT

[schrodingers-bisexual]

So I watched the Hazbin Hotel show and I have some thoughts…

So here are my live written thoughts/critiques of the first for eps

And before you get your pitchforks these criticisms have no malice behind them these are just my honest opinions (some good, some bad)

(Long post incoming)

Ep 1:

Plot-

* Interesting opening

* I enjoyed the reimagining of the Adam and Eve story

* they set up Charlie’s mom being MIA at the moment so that’s cool ig

* the b plot is boring, like idc about them making a commercial

* Charlie is so earnest it’s very endearing

* the angels are moving up the next extermination by 6 months which creates a sense of urgency that I enjoy (the deadline they have to meet gives me something to root for)

* Adam kinda dismissed Charlie’s hotel idea so I’m wondering if she’ll find a way to change his mind or if she’ll just do it behind his back, I’m thinking it’ll be the latter

* ohhhhh one of the demons managed to kill an angel so that’s why they moved extermination up

* I wonder when they’ll reveal who killed the angel or if they’ll even reveal it all, I’m thinking like mid-season finale type of reveal, or maybe they’ll just never say

Characters-

* Charlie is a very charming mc

* vaggie is fine ig (she doesn’t really do much)

* Alastor is just kinda there (they set up his beef with tv/modern stuff which was good)

* angeldust is annoying me ever so slightly but ig i see what they’re trying to do

* husk is my favorite so far (he’s had some pretty good one liners)

* nifty is also pretty great

* Adam is also annoying (i hate that they have him swear like a sailor when he’s supposed to be the head angel)

* i can already tell im not gonna like the characterization of the angels

* i liked Lute at first but she kinda falls into the same problems i have with Adam just a tad

Jokes-

* A lot of unfunny sex jokes from angeldust

* when nifty said something really weird husk said “Keep that to yourself, Niff.” And it got a good chuckle out of me

* a lot of unfunny dick jokes from Adam

* there was a silly gag with nifty that I enjoyed (every time they would try to get her to say her line she would stare blankly into the camera and then be “was that good?” in a cheery voice I thought it was silly

* Husk had some pretty good one-liners

* most of the jokes didn’t land for me tho

Songs-

* Happy day in hell- Erika’s voice is really good (to be expected from a broadway star), strange bridge with overlapping verses that didn’t flow well against each other and sounded kinda disconcerting (which is a shame cause overlapping verses are usually my favorite), the camera movements are giving me a headache, 5/10

* Hell is forever- I actually kinda liked that, Alex Brightman is a silly guy w/ a great singing voice, lyricism is pretty good, I enjoyed the rock-esc vibe, pretty catchy, 6/10

Overall-

It wasn’t as bad as I feared it would be but it wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be, so far I’m pretty neutral on it, the potential is definitely there but it leaves a few things to be desired, 5/10

Ep 2:

Plot-

* Hell is freaking out abt the news rightfully so I’d gather

* this seems to be a good thing cause maybe they’ll be open to the hotel idea

* it’s implied that angeldust isn’t open abt the extent of his sex work like they know he’s a porn star but that’s abt it so I’m guessing they don’t know abt his SA yet

* Val is showing some textbook manipulation signs so A for effort on that front

* the vees make for intriguing foils to the MCs

* why is Vox like obsessed with Alastor what’s the beef there

* okay so I guess there was a fight of some kind (Alastor almost beat Vox but didn’t succeed it seems like)

* revealed that Alastor has been gone for 7 years so there’s that

* okayyyy so the true beef is that Vox asked Alastor to join his team but Al said no

* Alastor is the big dog even after his absence

* vees send a spy, spy is implied to be egg guy but I think that’s a misdirect, either that or he’ll end up caring abt the MCs later (great angst material when it’s revealed he’s the spy)

* ep starts to drag a bit after we get back to the hotel

* more manipulation from Val via voicemail (is he bipolar?)

* never mind egg guy is just a regular spy and it got revealed to the MCs instantly (missed opportunity)

* THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING

* istg if they blame angel for this without asking questions

* damn egg guy folded really quick, like that took nothing at all, and ofc Charlie is instantly forgiving

* so looks like egg guy is apart of the main cast now which I’m not mad at, I just wished they’d done something more with that spy plot point, like that was pointless

Characters-

* Egg guy (sir pentious) makes an appearance and he’s great

* Vox is a business mogul???

* i like Vox so far

* BRITISH?! (Velvet lol)

* the Vees are interesting

* Valentino is annoying

* I’m really enjoying the electricity motif they’re doing with Vox’s movements and voice

* I like whenever Vox glitches/buffers I think that’s a really cool animation thing

* I need Val to stop talking

* so far I’m enjoying the dynamic between the vees

* I wish they gave velvet a little more to do cause she seems like she has potential (makes you wonder if she’s sidelined because she’s the only woman amongst the vees/it’s not out of the ordinary for a vivziepop show to heavily sideline its female characters)

* angeldust is insecure after Charlie implied that he didn’t care abt the hotel which shows a little incite into his deeper character traits and reveals that he actually does care so another A for effort there

* I’m really enjoying the rivalry between Vox and Alastor

Jokes-

* “Since when do we manufacture that.” “Since thirty minutes ago.” That exchange got a smile out of me

* egg guy is really funny (not laugh out loud funny tho)

* more unfunny sex jokes from angeldust

* I chuckled when egg guy was like “you’ve left yourself an opening” and then all he ended up doing was ripping alastor’s jacket, that was silly

* I liked how during the it starts with sorry song Vaggie and Angeldust are like bro let’s kill this guy while Charlie is trying to forgive him

* were there any other jokes lmao

Songs-

* Stayed gone- Christian Borle can do no wrong, but this song kinda sucks lmao, I didn’t like that little talking with rhythm segment, like they probably wanted that part to be a rap (which would’ve been way worse), lyrics have clever word play, the beat is infectious I’ll give it that but it was kinda all over the place, 4/10

* It starts with sorry- painfully mediocre and instantly forgettable, like there’s nothing memorable or standout about this song, I’m forgetting the melody as I type this, 2/10

Overall-

It was fine, nothing too standout, the introduction of the vees was really good, I’m excited to learn more about them, but overall a pretty meh ep, 4/10

Ep 3:

Plot-

* Egg guy is adjusting about as well as you’d think (not well at all)

* he kinda reminds me of dr doofensmirtz with all his inventions

* I like that all of egg guy’s eggs are just running around

* this seems like it’s gearing up to be a boring ep

* I wish there was a little more urgency abt the six month extermination push (like I get they wanna focus more on characters rn but they could sprinkle it in a little)

* b plot is Alastor taking the eggs on a little field trip and then he runs into some guy (zestial)

* I’m guessing this was like an old friend from way back when and they’re in a part of town he used to frequent before his absence

* oh ok so this is like a demon overlord meeting (guess I wasn’t really paying attention if they said that’s where he was going)

* ok ok things are getting good

* velvet found the head of that dead angel, vees want to lead assault on heaven but zestial disagrees, he makes some good points abt the attack leading to more bad than good

* vees don’t respect council, council doesn’t like vees

* so its seeming like the vees wanna throw a wrench in the order of things and take over for themselves, that’ll probably be a main conflict later on, and I don’t think it’d be too hard for them to garner support considering all the followers/supporters of their multi-level business, I’m intrigued

* was implied that Carmilla might know more abt the decapitated angel than she’s letting on hmmm

* zestial and carmilla went off together

* secret love tryst???

* ok wait did i get which plot was the b plot wrong, or am i just more interested in alastor’s shenanigans

* like tbh whenever it cuts back to the hotel i could care less

* carmilla killed that angel but is keeping it a secret cause she knows it’ll cause war and not a lot of sinners would survive that which is admirable of her ig

* one of the eggs overhear carmilla’s secret and tells Alastor, some mischief is sure to be afoot

* the MCs are getting along better

Characters-

* Vaggie still remains kinda dull

* she’s really just there, like she acts as the “level-headed” one but doesn’t really have a personality beyond that

* that being said Vaggie and Charlie are really cute together

* Husk remains my favorite

* the eggs are silly

* Zestial is introduced (I like his design)

* so far I really like the one in charge of the demon overlord council (Carmilla)

* and I also really like zestial

* they both seem very redoubtable and deserving of respect, I enjoy that

* I knew velvet had the potential to be a compelling character, I just hope they keep her at a forefront (and I also hope she won’t get overlooked by the fandom),

* CARMILLA HAS A DAUGHTER???

* nifty is a character that I don’t know how to feel about

* finally some character development for vaggie

* SHE HAS TWO DAUGHTERS???

* Alastor is here for the chaos

* there was a nice bonding moment between vaggie and Charlie

Jokes-

* So many unfunny sex jokes from angledust

* get other jokes I’m begging you

* “oh look, frank is up there.” “We have names?” that got a smile out of me

* Alastor going “that was a productive meeting” after they literally got nothing done was silly

* husk has some good one liners

Songs-

* Respectless- oh wow, I really like this, bro how did they manage to get so many broadway singers to be in this show, it was short and sweet, didn’t overstay its welcome and I enjoyed its company, 8/10

* Whatever it takes- I really liked zestial’s voice its kinda heavenly, Carmilla also has a good voice, vaggie’s voice is also pretty, the vocals are really nice, the song itself is just okay tho, 5/10

Overall-

Better than the last ep, some interesting new characters, some development for characters I was afraid would get sidelined, I had a pretty good time, 5/10

Ep 4:

Plot-

* What is going on??? Why are they watching angeldust’s porn videos???

* oh I guess it’s show and tell day

* oop husk just dragged everyone through the mud

* more seeds of Val’s manipulation have been planted

* I think this ep is gonna be abt angeldust so I’ve gotta prepare myself for that

* okay so Charlie wants to get Angel some time off, Angel seems very terrified at the notion of Charlie meeting his boss (rightfully so)

* Charlie just fucking sets the whole porn studio on fire by accident which was really silly

* Val’s about to fuck some shit up

* oh shit he’s beating Angel up

* Angeldust’s real name is Anthony (which is also my brother’s name and that makes me a little uncomfy)

* that was an effective abuse scene very uncomfortable very impactful

* the visuals of the poison song are making me really uncomfortable which I guess is the point but idk

* okay so I’ve seen mixed opinions on how they feel abt the way the depictions of the SA in this ep were handled, and I get that they didn’t want to sugarcoat it or downplay the horrors of it but I also think that there were so many better ways they could’ve gone abt it, like you did not need to show on screen SA/rape like that was entirely unneeded, they could have alluded to it (like fading to black) and then show the emotional toll/repercussions of it and it would’ve had the same effect, if they wrote it well enough it may have even been more impactful, Moral Orel and Bojack horsemen did a good job at that, I just feel like it could have been handled better (also I hear that there’s a rape fetishizer on the crew who storyboarded this ep which is very icky)

* angeldust is having a mental breakdown

* angel ran away after getting into an argument with husk and husk went after him

* i sense a bonding moment coming on

* oh shit someone’s about to roofie Angeldust’s drink

* oh shit husk just beat that guy up

* and now angel’s crying

* ok wait that wasn’t that bad of writing, it was actually kind of heartbreaking, whoever wrote this section of the episode needs to write everything else too cause that was a very effective emotional breakdown which is like insane whiplash from the start of the ep

* HUSK WAS AN OVERLORD???

* ok ok so husk made a deal with Alastor to keep a bit of his overlord power after gambling a little too hard so now he owes Alastor like infinite favors

* that was a pretty cool fight scene ig

* now angeldust is being more real and upfront about things so that’s nice

Characters-

* Husk seems to be very observant, I enjoy that character trait

* I’m also liking Husk and Angeldust’s dynamic, it both is and isn’t what I thought it’d be if that makes sense

* okay so some major character development for angel is happening in this ep

* I like the new perspective we get to see of angeldust, and unlike other characters this development feels deserved because they’ve been alluding to this since the beginning, it’s a nice payoff and a nice insight into angeldust as a character

* ok so angeldust is constantly putting on an act to pretend everything’s fine (which explains all the unfunny sex jokes i still hate them though)

* husk seems like the therapist friend

* angeldust had a really impactful emotional breakdown scene, I didn’t hate the way it was handled

* husk and angel have a bonding moment and sing a duet,

* it was actually really sweet

* ok now that they’ve had their little bonding moment hopefully all the unfunny sex jokes directed at husk will stop

Jokes-

* Surprisingly there aren’t as many unfunny sex jokes (which is a good thing considering this ep is highlighting the horrors of SA/rape)

* during the loser song husk makes the L hand motion at Angel and I audibly laughed

Songs-

* Poison- welp that song was… it sure was, ignoring the tactless portrayal of the SA it just wasn’t a good song, like the verses themselves are fine but the chorus is absolute dogshit which is bad cause that’s the whole hook of the song, and there’s a lot of forced rhymes and the lyrics feel like they’re shoving in too many words so the singer has to rush to fit them in, 1/10

* Loser, baby- I really like this, Keith David’s voice is absolutely ethereal, the melody is infectious, and the lyricism isn’t half bad, I Iike it a lot actually, it’s a cute little duet, 8/10

Overall-

My favorite ep so far, even though the quality of writing was kinda inconsistent it was still an entertaining watch, and for all the scenes and themes that were handled very poorly there was another scene that actually did a pretty good job, it was a mixed pot, but the character development surprised me, 7/10

So that’s my little two cents

TLDR; it’s not as bad as some people will make it out to be, but it’s not outstanding either. I’m gonna keep watching and if you’re curious I’d say to at least watch the first ep and formulate your own opinion

[soulofamy]

putting this under a cut bc i dont want certain fans to jump me for my opinions but after letting it sit for a few days, heres what i think of the ac.olyte

id probably give it an overall 7/10. like i had fun with it and def would want to see more from it. but there are some glaring problems with it too that im trying to wrap my head around. maybe if i give it a second watch through it will make more sense to me but for now after one playthrough of the first season, here is where my mind is:

first i will tall about the things i absolutely loved:

yo.rd and j.ecki remain my favorite characters in the show, they are just so fun and they really stand out among the innumerable je.di we have in canon right now. i tend not to like jed.i very much (with the exception of obiwan) but i am pleasantly surprised with how much i enjoy them.

THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY it was some of the best starw.ars weve seen in YEARS tbh. i normally find fight scenes to be boring and i just want them to be overwith so that we can get back to the actual story. but the lightsaber fights here??? i was on the edge of my seat they were SOO good.

the acting was pretty good!! some better than others but i think every character had their moments

the setting, i really really love that we are exploring a completely new (to tv/movies anyway) era with new faces. it makes the few cameos we have feel like they have the proper amount of acknowledgement, the show does not rely on them the same way that like...ahso.ka or k.enobi did. also i just feel like the high repu.blic was a more elegant time than the prequels era. the cloths, the weapons, the aesthetic was 10/10

i applaud them for doing something different with their protag. it confuses me a bit, but this outcome wasnt the one i predicted, it was my "wouldnt it be interesting if...?" outcome. also i am going to say it: qi.mir is everything sequel fans THINK kyl.o r.en is. qi.mir blows him out of the water. i couldnt understand why re.ylo happened or what their fascination was with each other (idc im not interested in it being explained to me either tbh) but while i still see storytelling flaws in osh.amir, i can still tell you why they happened the way they did and why they work. incredible, we havent gotten a compelling st.arwars couple since obi.tine, i am so excited ("but what about-" shhhhhhhhhh i said what i said)

now the parts that make me kind eh about it:

the pacing was very off. unlike other sw shows, each episode was like on average a half hour?? very short amount of time. AND there were only 8 episodes. and i feel like they didnt really use their time effectively. they spent so much time retreading old water with the flashbacks when they could have been using that time to more directly show us more about ma.e and o.shas relationship. like okay i GET that they arent sisters, theyre the same person split into two bodies....and??? why does that matter? why do we care about that? what makes them different from regular fo.rce sen.sitive twins like tipl.ee and ti.plar or l.uke and le.ia? like the last episode tries to make so.l revealing this out to be some big dramatic reveal but tbh i didnt even know we were building up to it??? and whats funny is os.ha didnt even seem phased by it? she was more concerned with her mothers death lol

can someone explain to me why the solution at the end of the series is "erase ma.es memories?" instead of qimi.r being like "you know what o.sha? since shes your sister and you care about her so much, lets bring her back to our little cortosis island too" LIKE WHY CUT THE TWO APART? AFTER ALL THIS TIME?? maybe im forgetting a crucial detail idk i just dont understand the need to do that?

yo.rd and je.cki being so unceremoniously killed and then no one ever acknowledging them again makes me angry. they shouldnt have died to begin with imo but like they did, did vernes.tra not take all their bodies back for a funeral? do their deaths mean nothing to o.sha? with the exception of the story isolating o.sha so that she feels like she has no where better to go than with qi.mir, i really truly dont understand the point of their deaths

bazi.l was really freaking annoying i hope he dies

i guess its a little too soon to speak on this part but like i really cant see any way for them to execute o.shamir in a way thats healthy. dont get me wrong, i am all for them giving us a toxic or layered ship but like with how osh.a literally has no one now and how much it honestly feels to me like qi.mir is projecting himself onto her, i really do feel like this ship deserves way more nuance than "and then they were cute and domestic on their little island until the gremlin man in the cave started making problems for them". idk. i am intrigued, i def think it works better than r.eylo but like i fear the execution will be horrible

those are my thoughts i think. i feel like i had more but i cant think of it off the top of my head now

[dahliasanddimples]

Today is day 7, which is basically day 8 since it’s 3 in the morning. Can’t believe it’s only been a week. Like where the heck did time go? I honestly feel like that was one of the longest weeks I’ve had all year like it’s been one entire week and I’m already almost basically over you. I understand why things had to happen the way they did. Those basically mini break ups we had in between and what not. I knew I had to feel SOOO sad in order for me to feel this amazing after only 7 days. The first day was LITERALLY gut wrenching. I wonder if it’s bc we (eye) ended on good terms. At least I think so. Yeah the night before was very much petty of me and for a moment I did feel bad for what I did but then again you’re a liar. It doesn’t matter the circumstances or how much or how little you lied, it’s the fact that you lied. I asked were there bitches and you said no. I asked again you said no. With your chest. With not even a hint of anything. Knowing damn well there was a bitch there. Idc if she’s ugly. Idc if she WAS only there for an hour. And then you’re like okay so I lied. Okay. I lied now what. Like ?? Tf ? Like are you testing the waters? Like okay how far can I take it how far can I push the boundaries. And my Dumbass over here like Awee maybe I shouldn’t have done this maybe I shouldn’t have done that NO you dumb bitch. How fucking dare he. He’s lucky I didn’t push that damn tv off the stand and break up. I. Kid. You. Not. It took ALLLLLLLLLL of me. God himself had to physically hold my hand back from just swatting that tv to the floor. He’s lucky it was just his bong that was already broken. He’s lucky all he lost that day was his remote. Yeah it was petty to ask for my pillows back. But I didn’t want him to have a good nights rest. Like yeah I just have to you earlier that day and you got a taste of what good rest would’ve been but not anymore. Take that back. Just like I take me back. I am a little crazy and maybe anger does get the best of me. But it’s like things were ending. There’s just little things. Like all of a sudden I’m not allowed to look your phone? That was never a deal breaker. Like these little things, him peeking over my shoulders, him asking to see my phone like? You have never done that. And you probably are talking to bitches which I’m not sure if I cared 100% and maybe bc I understand replies and maybe bc I’m a natural flirt and maybe bc I do maybe adhere to that 30% rule and maybe I didn’t care if you posted us bc I wanted to be under the radar too but you hella obvious. Like I KNOW you and your Dumbass ugly ass friend know about my finsta but for twitter. Like you makin up scenarios in your head baby. Like yeah you right all bitches do have that back end piece and my back end actually lookin like yo front end if we going one for one 👀 actually most of my pieces are lookin a little better than you. Is that why it’s been so easy for me to get over you? I mean it wasn’t hard to get over the last one. That last one was fucking just a total bitch. I could tell him to buy me a bag for a reply and he’d do it lmao. He’s a loser in a loser way. You’re a loser in an actual loser way. Like the guy that you bring home and your parents know you know? Like the guy that their daughter is completely blinded by and they see him as this total fucking loser lol that’s literally you. Other dude was just very ugly and insecure. And then you started showing insecurities. And whether indirectly you probably started talking to other bitches. To have your line up. And sometimes it made me sad to think about it. But then I think about it and I’m like, ehhh. You really can’t pull anyone better than me. And I’m not saying I’m the baddest bitch but I am saying that I really am that bitch. Like yes you can pull a bad bitch but is she funny? You can pull her but can you keep her? And I’m thinking you a fucking bum lowkey. Like you gotta be with a lil ass girl bc who is impressed with what you have? With the way you live? The lifestyle you’re living? It’s gotta be another broke ass bitch, a single mom, a young ass bitch

A single mom, or worse… a desperate bitch. And yet here I am, none of those. A corporate cutie with a six figure salary. A hot women whose independent who really got my own. So what is it that I saw in you? That’s really been the question amongst friends. What was it! Bc it wasn’t the sex. My gosh no. It wasn’t the dates LMFAAOO heaven knows we’ve went on like THREE the entire time we were together two of which I planned and took us on. I took your my ass on a trip! And you complained the entire time! Omg what a bitch what a baby back bitch lol it was fun. You were fun but I think that was it. My friends didn’t party a lot and you know I love to party. I love to go out. But as with most relationships I wanted more than that. I wanted intimacy which was okay but I wanted more time just us and you were still very much like okay what about us and like 2 of my friends. Uhmm so it’s not a date. Pretty sure I’ve made it clear I don’t wanna keep hanging with your friends. But they have coke. And they have drugs. And they have beer and they have fun. Which I’m okay with but you never offered? Which I’m okay with but it’s a Tuesday? It’s true what they say, friends of a feather flock together. You all fucking bums. Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are. DAMN. ALLLLLL your friends bums holy cow. Not one of you, not one of them, have a career. One of them probably has his head straight at least the other has a stable job but damn. None of y’all? Finished college? None of y’all, have a CAREEER? But half of y’all have kids. Most of y’all have baby mamas.

I just can’t with myself. Like what was I doing. You are literally the epitome of a verified loser. But I’ve always known this. And a part of me knew it wasn’t going any further than what it was. And I’ve brought it up twice but I liked you. A lot. Who knows why. Maybe bc your were a cutie. But you’re not an honest person. And you’re actually not my type. You’re lazy. Like you’re actually very lazy and your health is not your priority. And a part of me thinks, what if he did beg me to come back. What if he wrote a super long text and what if this what if that. But he wouldn’t. And for him to get a message to me, it would require a gift. A message on a gift and even that he wouldn’t do. He knows gifts are my love language. But even that I pray I have the strength to say no bc he’s not good for me. Just thinking about him… he’s a nobody. Yeah he’s well known but how could you not be. You’re literally out all the time. You’re in the streets. Who tf parties on a Tuesday? Who does coke everyday and especially on tuesdays? When do you realize that it’s a problem. Your nose is actually so fucked up and this stuff goes straight to your brain. He was a little retarded actually. I might be ditzy but at least I’m not stupid. He says of course he loves women. Women should be CEOs and run companies. but women should never be right or have their own opinions. That means as a man you see women as the hard worker, the bread winner, smart enough for a job but not to have their own opinions.

OMG you’re a loser. Like I can actually imagine you as like the typical high school quarterback who ends up being a janitor and is like fat (but you do so much coke you’re like sickly skinny) on the one seater lazy chair in front of the tv drinking beer after your janitor job. With like 3 kids all from different baby mamas. Probably 4 bc she probably already had one from prior. Omg I could never see you in the future but this is something I could actually see for you. And that’s so sad. And I’m so happy I left when I did. Even tho it ended the way it did it needed to. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for getting me out of that situation.

Sometimes it’s hard to see the bigger picture and trust that there is something better out there for me. But I have faith and I do know that there IS someone better for me out there and that there is more to this life of mine and I shouldn’t be wasting anymore time on you, and or with you. I’m in my prime. Actually I haven’t even hit my prime! Your prime was more than 5 years ago. And just like a high school quarter back, you’re still living in that glory. It’s crazy, but yes. I am in my prime or actually about to hit my prime. Like this is the new me. Like, this is my ultimate prime. I have money now. I have time. I have a hot bod I’m mentally ready to get back on social media. This is my villain but like in a good person type of way era. Omg I be at the gym just excited about it lol

Cheers, to me, myself and I. Cheers to the end of one whole week, cheers to closing one door so that many more open, cheers to being open to more blessings, cheers to being selfish and focusing on me, bettering myself, investing into myself, cheers. To me 🥂♥️ and entering into my prime era 😌

[dopaminergicaddictions]

3/14/24

12:02 a.m

Something I've noticed as a change for my constant auditory hallucinations is if I listen to chatter aka TV or podcasts or even sometimes when I'm in, "silence," is I hear it like, "screaming" it isn't louder. It's not really a scream.... in volume. It's more like an inaudible, "ahhhhh" like it wants to talk and can't verbalize. It has the same voice. I have been hearing it since the beginning of March.

I assume that is the voice "devocalizing." Like I said it's not loud... or louder. It's def not intelligent, creative or persuasive. It's not getting any quiter than a whispering echo though... it's the same volume but it's this weird, "ahhhhhhhhh" it's clearly trying to talk bc it's the same voice but it's unable to vocalize.

It's also like sometimes it can be really repetitive and I can focus on the screeching of the air conditioner the natural sound and I can turn the voice into the screeching making it sound like it's saying what it is saying but it sounds more nature and its easier to ignore, however I really have to try to do that. It takes focus and effort.

The voice is excessively repetitive and lacks intelligence. It's only intelligent when it repeats my internal monologue. Which it does like 50% of the time, it used to more. I have more quiet thoughts. I feel like that, "ahhh" is truly devocalization occurring. Maybe I'll recover one day but I'm not holding my breath.

I just wish i could meet someone be proven wrong that soulmates don't exist. And just love their children. Feel wanted, needed, be helpful. My hallucination would drastically lessen if I was not isolated and if I was surrounded by people. I've been trying to be social so I don't hallucinate as much, also I don't expect Kristen to lose her license. I don't expect to find a partner. I don't expect to recover. I expect to overdose tbh. It's coming. Especially if Kristen gets her life of luxury when I lost my ability to sit in silence and feel internal peace.

I'd say being a voice hearer was interfering with my ability to find someone but truly I don't even get through the swiping part... none of my personality is getting considered. I took trans off my profile, cause I'll never find someone with that at the top of my bio. Idk what I got to do to pass the swiping test.

I've given up on thinking Elise is my soulmate. What do I think?

She loves her husband, they are happy. I'm happy for them both especially her. I think she cares deeply about me and would be my friend but can't bc of professional constraints that will eventually not be a problem but for now they are. I expect I'll hear from her in 2 years minimum. Maybe 5 years maximum. I expect I may never hear from her.

I still love her, I still think she's my soulmate but not really cause soulmates don't exist. If soulmates existed she would be getting a divorce. If soulmates existed she would message me the only way she knows how. I expect if anything she's going to be my friend eventually and it'll be some insignificant nothing relationship. If I ever get married which won't happen cause no one would be stupid enough to do that, maybe she will be at my wedding smiling. I don't expect her to ever be my girl. I don't expect her to show up.

I do believe we had something special and i believe we may at some point in the future if I'm still here. I don't expect it to be romantic but I don't expect it to be fulfilling. My expectation is she will be like Katelyn or Tee. A BFF but it won't fill this hollowing aloneness anyways. I'll only have that filled by a partner.

I realized to not be delusional at all, I can't expect her to show up. I can't even think she has feelings for me. It's even delusional to believe she cares about me genuinely. I'm going to be delusional in that regard. I remember her eyes and idc what anyone says. I know she cares still. However I have accept the harsh reality that her caring about me does not mean she's ever going to know me personally. The harsh reality is, she's going to live her life where she is, and I'm going to live my life where I am and I'm going to hope and dream she shows up for me. As the months go by I'll cope with abandonment. It's something I'm used to.

I won't dislike her. I won't resent her. I'll root for her silently over here and hope she's happy. That's all I can do.