#i know my friends love me but i feel like such a burden and such a bore when im always like this

[heylittleriotact]

I've never heard this banter and I'm going to go the fuck off.

Firstly: Everything @emmg said. The whole "I want to become a lich" arc is actually incredibly contentious for my death-positive, mortality embracing Rook. Like to the point where she basically tells him at one point: "I really like you, and I really like us, and it's important to me that you're happy, so I won't try to change your mind or interfere with your plans, but I think it's only right to be transparent now about the fact that I can't see a future for us should you successfully pursue lichdom." She's very up-front about it, because she isn't at all comfortable with the radical change of the entire power dynamic of their relationship: they would no longer be equals, and she's not interested in ultimately becoming one more rag that he's dragging behind him (to quote the absolutely beautiful song by Josh Ritter called 'The Curse' which is about an Egyptologist who discovers a mummy who comes back to life and they fall in love but since he is undead and she is mortal, it ends tragically and it reminds me SO MUCH OF a Emm!Lich/Rook romance, or honestly any future romances he might find himself in as a Lich.) Here - listen to it: go. Right now. Cute af music video too:

Secondly: BULLSHIT, EMMRICH. That's such absolute fucking bullshit. "There's always something to discover in the world" and "I think I should never grow tired of that" are both such insanely pompous, self-aggrandizing statements that he flings out there in an effort to frame himself in the light he wants to be perceived in: the Quintessential Academic - forever curious and eternally learning: an inspiration to curious and inquisitive minds everywhere to be celebrated and lauded for his immeasurable services to society.

The truth is, he knows it's bullshit, and is painfully aware that lichdom - even without a partner or someone like Rook is bound to be soul-crushingly lonely. Dude is lonely af and he's still got a fucking PULSE. But he's made it this far in life shouldering the burden of feeling like he'll never find someone. Loneliness isn't new to him, and it's really easy to suggest that after a few thousand years of existence under one's belt that picking up new friends will be as easy as popping down to the pub and saying "hi" to a stranger. Pffft! Trifles!

Emmrich is smarter than that. He knows better than that, but he's trying to convince himself just as much as he's trying to convince Lucanis that having to embrace the fleeting, transitory nature of relationships as he watches the ebb and flow of life and death cycle repeatedly before his eyes is not only what he wants, but it's what will make him happy and it's such a brazen contradiction of himself that if my Rook overheard this she would be unable to keep herself from snorting and going, "... really?"

This man is trying to put himself above love and friendships and relationships in a way that makes them seem like specimens to be studied and written about, when we know that he's probably written no less than a dozen poems about how Rook's hair looks in the sunlight, and is annoying the shit out of Vorgoth and Myrna because all of his letters home since he and Rook got together are less about their progress against the gods, and more about how absolutely wonderful Rook is and how pleased he is that he decided to accompany her on this journey blah blah blah...

He's collected a little family with the Veilguard, and he makes no secret of how much he cares for all of them.

Delusional, pookie: you're fucking delusional.

Lucanis and Emmrich about immortality

[tuesdaykiss]

“touching toes”

rafe cameron social media au

“he’s over more and more, had to give him a whole drawer. to be honest, kinda like seeing his trainers by the door.” — olivia dean, ‘touching toes’.

synopsis: after finishing her fashion studies at college in nyc, y/n moves to outerbanks to live with her grandparents. she worries about the loneliness that comes with being in a new place, knowing only her cousin topper and other relatives… that is until she is acquainted with a certain cameron.

part — 3 | 4 | 5

masterlist

your phone

you look over at the boy lying next to you; he’s fell back into a peaceful slumber. it’s tempting to brush the hair out of his face… but you resist the urge.

clearing your throat in a failed attempt to wake him, your voice cuts through the silence of the room, “uh, rafe?”

he presses his eyes shut hard, in an act of protest; groaning out at the sudden loudness of your voice. a defeated sigh leaves you, before repeating yourself.

“yeah?”

“i should get going…”

his eyes meet yours, and for a fleeting moment, you swear you catch a hint of disappointment. it’s subtle, but unmistakable. his lips part slightly, as though a response was on the tip of his tongue, but just as quickly, they press shut — like he had thought better of it, burying whatever words had been developing.

rafe stretches, and you watch him intently as he moves around the sheets. the pair of you make eye contact; it’s burdened by a feeling of unspoken words that hang between you both.

lips smacking together, the atmosphere of the room grows awkward as rafe grasps his phone before saying, “well, don’t let me keep you.”

slight embarrassment washes over you, as you shuffle on the bed, “right… uh, t-thank you — for last night.”

with just a smile in response, you collect your belongings that are scattered across his wooden flooring before spinning on your heels, nodding in his direction and exiting his room.

rafe’s phone

yourusername

liked by kiaracarrera, rafecam and 2,092 others

yourusername thanks for the tour!

view comments

heywardpope welcome to obx

jjmaybank you’re one of the pogues now

rafecam @/topthornton found her

topthornton smh

boykelce wow

kiaracarrera love u

itscleo ^

johnbr me and my twinkie 4 life

johnbr

liked by sarahcameron, yourusername and 128 others

johnbr @/yourusername new photographer in town

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yourusername my best models yet

sarahcameron i think you’ll find that was me

yourusername proof or it didn’t happen

sarahcameron bet

sarahcameron

liked by yourusername, rafecam and 721,098 others

sarahcameron modelling is so much funner when you’ve got a hot photographer @/yourusername

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yourusername easy to be a photographer when you’ve got hot friends

sarahcameron are you flirting with me?

yourusername yes

johnbr mine ❤️

user3 you tell them john b

sarahupdates our gorgeous model!

user that’s the girl from the party

user2 omg yeah, rafe’s party

your phone

a/n: i can’t tell if this is moving really fast or really slow… also realised i gave her interests and just haven’t included them so here we go!

also the reason sarah hangs with both groups like it’s nothing, is the kooks won’t kick her out due to her fame (plus its rafe’s sister) — they’re really riding off of her lol.

doesn’t mean they aren’t secret haters!

[elvensorceress]

sunday snippet

I meant to have this fic done ages ago but it's now somehow three times as long as it was, I've rewritten it five times, and I'm still working on it 🫠 oh well. have a snippet from snickerdoodles.

@tizniz @hippolotamus @eddiebabygirldiaz @daffi-990 @exhuastedpigeon @spotsandsocks @kejfeblintz @smilingbuckley @sofa-king-lame @chaosandwolves @smilingbuckley @belasmalhotra @bekkachaos @blutterlie @sazanahashi @livinginsunnyhell @epicbuddieficrecs @sparklespiff @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @dangerpronebuddie continued from Wednesday

Eddie tries again, but still sounds rough and hollowed out. “I don’t want to drag you down. Okay? You should move on and forget me and— and it’ll be better.”

Not so much for Eddie. He’s never let go of anything in his life. It’s all there hiding under the surface, stuffed in cages. But Buck should move on. Buck should survive him. 

Is this their only future? It feels like losing everything. Eddie is losing everything. He’s kidding himself if he thinks he hasn’t already lost Chris. What if Eddie doesn’t survive this time? What will happen to everyone he loves? Everyone who loves him?

Does anyone love him? Does he mean anything to anyone? Has he ever meant anything?

“Forget— I should forget you?” Buck snaps, his anger un-contained fire now, not just a hint of smoldering kindling. Vicious, spitting, sparking, living flames that will turn everything to ashes. 

Maybe they should actually fight and say awful things and then it would be easier to walk away. 

Eddie’s not sure he could even manage that right now. There’s nothing left in him. No fight, no fire. It’s all shattered, scattered pieces. But he would try. If Buck needs that. 

He might need that. He snaps again, “Like you’re a pair of socks that disappeared in the laundry? Or something I meant to pick up at the store and spaced? Like it’s easy? Like you’re nothing? Like this? Us? You and me? Means nothing?”

Okay, when he puts it that way… it sounds dumb. But how else can Eddie stop hurting him? “No,” Eddie says. Not fiery, not loud, not anything. “No. Just. Something that doesn’t—”

“You're my best friend. You— you’re— I’ll let you go. Okay. Whatever. I’ll do that because I know you and I know you need Chris and I get it. I wouldn’t want you to do anything but love him exactly the way you do. But I won’t, will not and can not pretend that you aren’t my best friend and my partner and the person I love more than anything. All right? I’m not going to do that. I’ve spend years—literal— almost a whole decade of years loving you more than anything. I’m not going to just forget that or forget you. I’m not throwing that way. I’m not ever going to lie and say otherwise. This is not a ‘move on and grow out of it’ scenario. I love you more than anything in the world. Okay? You told me I wasn’t expendable and I had to deal with that so you have to deal with this. You mean everything to me and I love you, and that isn’t going to change even when you leave.”

“—hurt you,” Eddie finishes. It doesn’t really sound finished now. He says it because he was already saying it. 

But that the fuck does he say now? 

Eddie doesn’t usually think of himself as small, quiet, or fragile. But he feels like that now. His feeble words sound like it even in his own ears. Small. Inconsequential. Torn apart.

Buck steps back toward him. Not enough that they’re touching, but enough that they’re closer. “Hurt me. Drag me down. I don’t care.”

Eddie recoils. No. No, he hates that idea. He is not doing that. Not intentionally. Not. What the fuck. 

He knows he said the words. He said them because his mother said them and they stuck and haven’t left his head or his heart and it’s all he does. Ruin people he loves. 

Buck shakes his head. “Be in the way. Burden me. Share whatever weight you’re carrying. Be something that stays even if you’re not here. Be part of my life even if it hurts. I don’t care if it hurts, I need you to be something to me. Having nothing of you would be a hundred, thousand, million times worse. I am in this with you. I always have been. Don’t shut me out just to spare me. If you’re facing the fire, I want to be right there with you. Please don’t make me lose everything of you. Please don’t— please. Don’t pretend this is nothing. I can take you leaving, I can’t take this,” he motions between them, “meaning nothing.”

Eddie stares and doesn’t move. And stares harder like it will help him understand. 

He knows he’s breathing still because there’s air. 

Maybe he’s not breathing. But something is making air flow in and out of his body. Like rescue breaths? Supplemental oxygen? It’s not Eddie doing it, he’s not taking in air, but it happens anyway. 

He doesn’t understand. Maybe he never has. Maybe his brain stopped processing information when he stopped breathing because the brain can’t function without oxygen. Something like that. He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t. 

Buck wants something of him even after everything? After all the people who have walked out on him and treated him like he doesn’t matter? Even with how Eddie fails and hurts people who care about him? He means something to Buck? Even though he’s hurting him and abandoning him and losing him? Eddie’s just another person who leaves him. He can’t hurt Buck. He can’t keep doing it. Buck doesn’t deserve this. And Eddie deserves no loyalty, no forgiveness. 

He doesn’t deserve anyone’s love. Not in any form. He shouldn’t have it. He’s never had it. 

“I don’t—” Eddie tries to say. He has to say. He has to make the words come out. “I don’t want to hurt you the way Abby hurt you. I don’t want to do that.” 

Buck shakes his head again and starts to say something.

Eddie beats him to it. “I know it’s not the same. I know I’m not— I know you don’t— It’s different. Still. I know how she hurt you, and I don’t want to do that. I don’t know how to not do that. I’m leaving you here. In my house. Just like she did when she left you. And I have to—” Do the same fucking thing? Give him up? Walk away? Destroy everything they made together? And maybe the only way to survive is to do what Eddie does best and ruin everything? 

He looks back at Buck and doesn’t mean to say it. He wasn’t going to say anything. It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t matter. He should be mean and nasty and he should tell Buck he means nothing, this means nothing, and then Buck can just be justifiably angry and hate Eddie properly. 

And it would spare him. Whatever pain and tragedy that is associated with being near Eddie. It would spare Buck. 

That’s what he should do. 

That would be mercy and kindness. Pick up the weapon and blow this all to hell. 

Eddie can’t breathe. He can’t do this. Any of it. 

He can’t let go. He can’t lose Buck. 

And then he’s suddenly confessing, “I don’t want to do this."

It’s too late. It’s always too late. And what he actually wants has never mattered. He doesn’t matter. He never has. He twists his hands together and has nothing else to hold onto. It’s too late, so none of this matters. Eddie doesn’t matter. But he meets Buck’s lost gaze, stares into his eyes for three seconds, and he can’t keep it in.

“I want to be with Chris. I miss him so much. Every minute of every day. But I don't want to leave here. I don't want this. But it doesn't matter what I want. It never has. The one time I said, 'What about me? Why didn't you think of me?' Chris left. He left because I hurt him. And my dad says, ‘don’t wait thirty years to listen to your son.’ So I listen. I don’t know what the hell else to do. I listen, and I do what all of them ask. Even when it’s the last thing I want and I’ve already said, no, please stop, I need more time, please hear me. They don’t listen to me. I’m still nothing to every single one of them. And I just keep thinking why don’t I ever count? Why don’t I matter even a little bit?

"You think you aren't everything to me, too? Do you think that I don't love you just as much as you love me? But I don’t get to pick you. I don’t get to have anything of you. I hurt everyone I try to love including you and Chris. I’m not enough for anyone, in any way. I can’t love anyone the way they need or the way I’m supposed to. You say you’re defective parts, well I’m fucking broken.

"That’s why you should forget me. I don’t matter. You shouldn’t care. I should mean nothing because I am nothing. I’m not worth this. If I were a better, stronger person, I’d make you hate me. But I can’t even do that. I don’t want to hurt you more. I have to lose you and I don’t know how to lose you. I love you more than anything and it’s not enough. I don’t know what else to do but say, you should move on and forget me.”

Eddie turns away and covers his face, tries to hold his head because it’s aching. It’s too much. That was too much. He’s not supposed to be falling apart. Everything is supposed to be getting better. 

Shards of ice crack and fracture and break underneath him. Everything in the cage around his ribs snaps and he’s crying into his hands, trying to keep it together. Trying and failing. Always failing. His face is already wet. He was already broken. A long time ago. So many times. 

Buck is suddenly behind him. Not distant. Close behind him. He touches Eddie’s back gently and then steps around until he’s standing in front of him. He reaches between them and rests his hand on Eddie’s chest. As if he can stop the never-ending bleeding that’s somehow always pouring from Eddie’s heart. “You are enough, Eddie. You’re more than enough."

[hovkinnie]

mizuena/ena5 incoherent rant below bc i love them so much im losing my mind

I can't stop thinking about how much of mizuki's conflict in prsk is resolved entirely by ena's actions, not mizuki's own, and that's actually really fucking good. hear me out.

One of the driving emotions for Mizuki's conflict is obviously fear; she's afraid of being left once people know her secret, she's afraid she can only ever have shallow connections with people who wouldn't really accept her as who she is, she's afraid of losing the few friends she has and the one space where she feels like she can express herself through their shared art.

But beyond that, the other driving emotion for her is guilt. She feels guilty that she's been "deceiving" everyone else, she feels guilty that she's left Ena waiting for so long without telling her her secret, she feels guilty that everyone else seems to be moving forward and facing their fears while she seemingly can't. And when her secret is revealed, the strongest emotion she's going through isn't her fear of being left behind, it's the guilt that's been eating her away from the inside.

She tells ena that it can't be the same, that now ena won't be able to treat her the same, that she knows Ena and Kanade and Mafuyu are so kind they'll smile and tell her they're fine with it, but that they'll just be forcing themselves for the sake of kindness. That they'd rather not have to deal with everything that makes Mizuki complicated, but they would anyway because they're kind like that. That she can't bear that. She doesn't deserve that.

And all of this guilt is so real for this young trans girl to feel because it's what we're pushed towards constantly, even when we're supposedly accepted for who we are. The lie that we're deceiving others when we present as our own gender is so deeply written into our collective psyche, and even beyond that, even in "progressive" spaces, the violence we suffer is often treated as our own burden to bear, as something we have to deal with and not burden other people with.

So many basic bitch stories about trans women, with trans women protags written by cis people, have them struggle and "grow" as the story progresses, having to "face their fears", to come out to people they're scared of leaving them, to "trust their loved ones" and take that first step. I think a lot about The Missing, a game that gets a lot of the horror of being a trans girl and yet still has the protagonist, who is so terrified of how her mom would react to her coming out she tries to end her own life, learn the lesson that she should come out anyway, trust this person that's only given her reasons to fear her, because that's the only way for her to move forward.

Mizuki doesn't do that. She doesn't have to. Mizu5 is all about the horror of being outed before you're ready to come out yourself, even to someone you know would show you kindness. And it allows Mizuki to stew in her own guilt, the guilt that she never faced her fears herself, that she's burdening N25 with her suffering. But Ena5 is about Ena, so patient and unwilling to hurt Mizuki, finally being moved to action by kaito and meiko agreeing that it's up to her to be selfish and try to bring Mizuki back, to recognize that Mizuki doesn't want to be alone.

It's up to Ena to do the scary thing, for her to be open and vulnerable about her feelings. For her to go up to Mizuki, despite being ignored for so long, as someone who is so sensitive to being ignored- to being rejected- and to tell Mizuki what she needs- and deserves- to hear. That she's wanted. That Ena doesn't care if Mizuki thinks she deserves it or not, that Mizuki's guilt shouldn't factor in because Ena wants Mizuki beside her.

It's the ultimate transfem fantasy because it's the fantasy of being truly wanted, of being unconditionally loved. It's the fantasy of someone seeing you for who you are, and not just "accepting you" as if it's a favor they're doing you, but going as far as telling you that the way you've been conditioned by a lifetime of violence to feel and act to protect yourself is NOT your fault, it's NOT just your responsibility to deal with, that you deserve someone who will go through the effort of digging you out of that hole and that you're not a burden for needing that.

In a lot of subtle ways, Mizuki's story feels 1000% written by people who understand trans girls so far beyond the scope of the usual explaining-transness-to-cis-people style of narrative, even understanding ways that these narratives fuck up routinely and also understanding exactly what is needed to sneak this into a highly commercial hatsune miku gacha game. There's a lot of compromises made there for the sake of being this kind of story in this kind of game, but what we get in return is so much more meaningful as a transfem narrative than anything of similar popularity that I can think of, it fills me with so much emotion and I truly can't fathom believing it's somehow "bait" or "not real rep" unless you've never had to think about transmisogyny and how it emotionally affects you to this degree.

I'll never stop thinking about them. Congrats on the wedding mizuki and ena. someone like ena is exactly what every trans girl deserves, and never has someone proven herself more deserving of a trans girl's love than ena. i love them both so much my heart feels like it's going to explode whenever i think of them. huge thanks to everyone involved in creating their story

[mullermilkshake]

Twelve days of fluffmas

On the twelfth day of fluffmas, my true love gave to me...

Yakuza!Kento getting his Christmas wish.

Tags: Yakuza AU, Fem!reader, first meeting, unexpected and fate driven, spilt coffee,

"Coffee please. Thank you."

Kento's favourite part of the Christmas market stalls that lined the street were any that involved coffee. That and the type that served toasted sandwiches with his favourite bread.

Hot steaming coffee on his morning walk through the snow, icy breeze nipping at his cheeks, warmed coffee cup stopping his fingers from freezing and-

"Oh, I'm so sorry!"

Spilt coffee. All over his suit and coat.

Kento turned around slowly, padding his pockets for anything to wipe it up with before it stained and seeped through enough to burn him.

"That guy barged past me- but I should have seen where I was going..." it was you.

You who did not know he existed. You who had no clue how much Kento had watched you off in the background never getting the courage to speak with you. And here you were, right in front of him all glassy eyed because of a cup of coffee on his coat.

"I'm such a klutz..." your voice trailed off when you made eye contact and your head dipped down before you looked around for napkins. "I know someone who's really good at cleaning expensive suits, which I'm sure yours is- shit, I can have this cleaned."

Kento stood there speechless that you were stood there fussing over him and pulling napkins out to dab his coat. Instinctively, Kento drew his hand up to stop you and ended up cupping your napkin filled hand in his.

"Please, don't worry. It's only coffee," it was then he realised what he'd done, because your eyes widened and looked right up at his. "Sorry."

"No, it's alright," tucking a strand of hair away from your face, Kento noticed the blush in your cheeks. "I wasn't looking where I was going, it's totally my fault. Here-"

He watched you pull out a little note book and scribbled down on it. "Here's my home phone, call me and let me know what the bill is... and here's the address of the laundromat. She's a good friend of mine and she'll take care of you."

Not five minutes and you'd already given him your number and- Kento's eyes widened a fraction before he reined it in. Mei Mei was a prolific money launderer and everyone in the Yakuza world knew who she was.

So how did you know her? Were you aware of what she did behind closed doors? This coincidence begged the question as to how Kento never saw any link to Mei Mei whenever he saw you on the network cameras.

Perhaps he was slipping, it was true that he'd become burned out this close to the new year.

Kento never mentioned it, there was no need to. "Thank you, but I won't burden you with any bill for this. It's just coffee."

"I just feel so terrible, I'd be pissed if I got coffee all down me."

He realised just how cool he was being. No way in hell did he ever think he would react to you meeting by accident like this. Though now he was thinking about it, Kento felt himself shift uncomfortably and noticed he'd just been staring at you.

"Uh, it's really no bother."

By the relief splashed across your face, you were intent on leaving shortly and took one step backwards.

Yet you didn't lead the conversation that way. "I insist, really. But I'd like to buy you another coffee," your eyes paid him attention closely. "Or maybe lunch if you're not in any rush? I feel awful, it's such a beautiful suit."

A lunch invitation and compliment? Did you not know what sort of life he was leading, or what people he affiliated himself with- who you were being affiliated with? You should have known the moment you laid eyes on him. Most people suspected.

Yet you showed no signs of distress.

"Please?"

And now you were practically begging him to go with you. Kento contemplated all the times he'd talk down to himself for not pursuing you and how much of a bumbling idiot he would have been. There was nothing bumbling in the slightest.

Just long drawn breaths and pauses he used to figure out what to say though it flowed off of his tongue naturally like a waterfall into a lagoon.

"Alright, but I'll buy lunch."

You smiled sweetly and nodded. "Then I'll buy the coffee."

"It's a deal."

Kento let you lead through the stalls though it was really a chance to soak you in and let the realisation in that he'd just had his first conversation with you. A conversation he had agonised for months over.

"I know a really nice stall. It's off the beaten track a little, but I promise that it's great. It's only ever here at Christmas," once the stalls had dispersed along the street, you pulled back and matched his pace.

"If you recommend it, I'm sure I'll enjoy it," Kento was never a fan of group meals of crowded places to sit down and eat in.

A stall where he could sit off to the side was perfect. Especially uninterrupted time with you. Kento could not believe his luck.

"It has some of the best fried chicken I've ever tasted but if you prefer something different, the stall next door serves raw fish which just melts in your mouth..."

You stopped right in your tracks and watched Kento as he turned. "I'm talking too much. I apologise... I'm talking to a stranger with so much familiarity. I hope that didn't make you uncomfortable," you bowed like Kento did not enjoy it.

"Not at all," he was quick to reassure you. "I admire enthusiasm. I never would have known where the best fried chicken was if you hadn't told me."

Kento took the information on board. Ino was partial to fried chicken every now and then.

He listened to that sweet little chuckle leave your lips. "That's good, otherwise I would have been a weirdo that talks too much and spills coffee on people."

"You're no weirdo..." You never heard him say that and carried on walking. For a moment, Kento watched you leave with a quickness in his breath.

Some would say he made a Christmas wish. But in reality, it was fate. A thing he never believed in until now.

And all it took was a little coffee spilled on his coat.

I was going to wait much longer for Kento and reader to meet, but it's Christmas and I'm feeling all fuzzy inside. THEY MET AT LAST.

Me rn writing this stuff.

[moonteaa]

I have held out as long as I could. What Teba thoughts are currently swirling around?

OH MY GOODNESS! Finally got around to checking my silly inbox! My apologies!! I presume we’d like some more Dad Teba headcanons perhaps? hehe let me see here..

1. Teba gifted both Link and Zelda a hand crafted Rito headdress! Each headdress has each of their feathers (Teba, Tulin, and Saki) and next to the feathers (for Zelda) is a silent princess and (for Link) a blue nightshade to represent their place in their little Rito family! Hehe

2. Teba Knows Zelda’s favorite treat is fruit cake, always knows to bring her some when they see one another.

3. If any one in the group for some reason can’t sleep, or are struggling with nightmares and such, Teba is willing to stay up and whether they want to talk or just sit and be with each other’s company, then he’ll do just that.

4. I feel like Teba has very keen eyes for details and keeps in mind what everyone enjoys, dislikes, and needs.

5. Everyone likes to cuddle up against Teba, especially if they’re traveling in colder regions!

6. Teba is both impressed and bewildered when he sees Link eating rocks for the first time. There are many things about Link that impresses Teba, and eating rocks? Definitely up there.

7. Teba deeply respects Link, Zelda, and the sages but finds it difficult in his heart to accept the fact that kids are the ones holding the entire kingdom on their shoulders. It’s both admirable but heartbreaking.

8. Was so proud of Tulin when he became a sage but so worried. (Even if we don’t see it, I can imagine Teba feeling overcome with emotion when he gifts Tulin the Great Eagle Bow. His boy is growing up aksjs)

9. Zelda once gave him a silent princess flower and he safely keeps it wrapped around the belt of his armor.

10. Basically anything the others give him, it can be a tiny little trinket or something that held memories, Teba keeps it safe and at his home (or the flight range)

11. I like to think Teba has pictures around of both his family and his found family heh

12. Zelda likes taking the most silliest pictures of him with the Shiekah Slate/Purah pad

13. I think..when Teba sleeps he sometimes lets out little chirps ;-;

14. Teba really wants both Link and Zelda to rest.

(Often finds Zelda sleeping after working all night and tucks her into bed. Smh. She’s also fallen asleep on Teba many times.)

15. Teba struggled to get Zelda to open up about what was going on in her mind, eventually, they had a deep heart to heart and she opened up about her fears, traumas, and heavy burdens and weight she must carry alone and many tears were shed but with tears comes big and warm feathery hugs. He understands that she went through pain that no one her age should go through.

16. In fact..I imagine he’s had a heart to heart with all of his companions, he’s a very good listener and a friend and father figure to all.

17. Would not hesitate to die protecting the ones he cares for

18. Teba I believe is a Rito warrior who fights not just out of duty but out of love. Love for his home, his family, (blood related or not) friends. Overall, I think Teba is a warrior with a very golden heart which is why he was chosen to be Elder.

19. When he’s Elder however, he misses his companions, or as he likes to call them, his “kiddos”

20. Gets really happy when Link and Zelda visit (they visit their little Rito family very often.) Link and Zelda have their own little hammock for when they visit and stay the night!

21. Sometimes when Link and Tulin are off playing and being the best brothers, Zelda likes to sit with Teba and just talk.

22. Teba likely felt frustrated not being able to help search for Link and Zelda when they went missing after the upheval

23. Relief + Concern was felt when Link came back safely but ..WITH A NEW ARM??

24. Very happy to know link was safe but I can imagine not all was well knowing Zelda was still missing. The family wasn’t complete, you know? Agh!

25. When the Light Dragon (Zelda) flies by the regions of her companions (Sidon, Teba, Tulin, Riju, Yunobo) they all can feel Zelda’s presence but don’t understand why (yet)

25. Teba wouldn’t have fallen for Puppet Zelda, I think he would have been able to easily see through the disguise. That’s a dad’s intuition!

26. Yeah, Teba finding out about Zelda’s fate and becoming the light Dragon? He wasn’t okay. Not at all. Silent tears were shed. It was the closest experience to Teba “losing” a child and he never really recovered from that.

27. Teba once promised Zelda he would take her flying.

28. He did. When he flew beside the Light dragon and when he did he says with a bitter chuckle,

“This wasn’t exactly what I was hoping for.”

IM SORRY.

29. Trust me, they had a very happy family reunion. Had a difficult time letting either Link, Zelda and Tulin out of his sight and became slightly anxious.

30. Cannot comprehend what Zelda went through and the sacrifice she made. Deeply admires her but his heart aches for her too.

31. (HAPPY ZELINK ONE I SWEAR) Teba is the one to walk Zelda down the aisle when she marries Link. 🤍

Hope you enjoyed these!! Ah! If you ever want more well..I’m always here! I love found family so much! Hehe 😭

[bruisedviolette]

i was 11 when the first season of stranger things came out. i first watched it right before season 2 was released. i still remember the way i felt that spring, the way the air felt, it was so hot, i was basically stuck inside. my mum and i watched the entire first season in the span of two days. i can almost taste and smell the memory of that time in my life. arizona peach iced tea, mario badescu rosewater spray, sunflowers by elizabeth arden.

i first watched stranger things as a closeted and mentally ill child. i wished i could just be normal, like everybody else. i had a crush on my best friend at the time, i think she liked me too. we haven’t spoken in eight years. seeing a depiction of what i was going through, albeit a very different situation, as portrayed in a show that was so popular and widely loved by the general public in the character of will made me realise that things will be okay. everything will eventually work out.

when i was a kid i regularly had dreams in which i would go missing. there was never anything else to the dreams, or nightmares rather, i’d just disappear. sometimes i wished i would go missing. i felt like a burden to my friends and family because of my mental health issues, and the cherry on top was me being a lesbian. i used to cry myself to sleep and ask God if he was listening, why couldn’t i just be the normal daughter that every other parent seemed to have?

i’m so lucky that my parents accept me for who i am. i grew up thinking that everybody hated me because of my sexuality, that i was disgusting and wrong. i see a lot of myself in will, and joyce with my own mother.

all this to say that i Will be crying hysterically if there is a graduation scene in season 5. this show has been a constant throughout my life since i was 12. i’m 20 now, and since watching the first season as a mentally ill closeted child, i’ve changed a lot, and i’m a lot less sad than i used to be. i used to think i’d always feel like a mistake, like something was wrong with me, like i had to hide who i truly am.

i know this sounds so cliché, but it gets better. i’ve lived it. if you told me a decade ago that i would be living as an open lesbian, with friends and family that couldn’t care less about my sexuality and love me for who i am, i wouldn’t have believed you. trust me. it gets better. representation is so important in a show as impactful as stranger things for people like me and so many other queer people.

to anyone reading this, i love you, i care about you, and everything will work out in the end.

[thefeastandthefast]

The express episodes have dropped so soon I will be put out of my misery and know exactly what the hell is going on with Ji Yong.

But before I dive in, jotting down these thoughts as of episode 29 to see if I'll be eating my words later.

SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY:

His line about Song Mo one day understanding his true intentions (after expounding on what were supposedly his intentions in front of all of Prince Qing’s hidden troops just a moment earlier) makes it clear to me that there’s more to his actions than self-professed naked political ambition.

Plus, we know from episode 25 that he is probing into the Duke of Ding’s case and even leveraging his services as advisor and strategist to bargain for information from Prince Qing. There is little to no reason for him to care about this or put himself and his ambitions on the line, so why go to all the trouble?

One of my favorite aspects of this show is Ji Yong as foil to Dou Zhao, each representing a different attitude and approach to the problem of fate and will. I see why some may read Ji Yong as being in unrequited love but to me he reads more like DZ's platonic soulmate (even Granny, who introduced them with an eye for matchmaking, couldn’t see them as a couple!) After all, she is the only other person who is aware, as far as he knows, that they’re in Life 2.0, with the opportunity and burden of choosing differently.

Most importantly he doesn’t see himself in that light- in episode 26, he explicitly laments that friendship never takes precedence over romantic love. The feeling I got from his little monologue is not bitterness about the inability to “upgrade” to romantic love with Dou Zhao, but disappointment in his hope that Dou Zhao would value their special platonic love in the same way he does. As @therukurals reminded me- Ji Yong was pleased when Dou Zhao and Song Mo got together; it's only after Song Mo started going down the same path of Life 1.0 that he began to persuade DZ to leave her doomed husband to save herself.

He also keeps using the term 知己 (one who knows the self) to describe her, which is usually a word for friends of implicit mutual understanding, not romantic partners. But this pragmatist who doesn’t believe he can change much of anything also doesn't hesitate to throw his small stones into the river behind the scenes, perhaps hoping that the tiny ripples that result might alter Dou Zhao’s trajectory just a little before they are subsumed by the river of fate's overwhelming current, to shift her ending away from tragedy again. (Remembering his at-all-costs approach to pushing Dou Ming and Wei Tingyu together...)

I think he believes in the unforgiving immutable larger framework of fate, where the set and story remain but the players can change, whereas Dou Zhao hopes to rewrite the story altogether. In this light, it makes sense that he throws his lot in with Prince Qing once again in Life 2.0 even knowing the ending for himself if he does. He thinks he's found the key- when fate doesn't concern itself with intentions, only actions and consequences, then the greatest advantage is being in a position to place the players and direct the action.

Side note: I find his nickname for her super interesting (which unfortunately isn't translated in the subs) but haven't yet formulated coherent thoughts about it. He calls her Zhuang Zhou aka Zhuangzi aka the philosopher who dreamed he was a butterfly and wondered if in fact, it was a butterfly dreaming it was the philosopher.

[pansyfemme]

i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess

[tpup]

I need to curl up in a ball and cry like I'm purging a poison and have someone hold me through it and run their hands through my hair, rub my back and hug me close. I don't think I want to talk about it. I just want comfort that doesn't come with strings attached. I want to be held and not have them make me feel like I owe them sex in return. I don't want to think they're just putting up with me so they can use me after.

[hadesoftheladies]

hate going for christian weddings sometimes because i always see the prettiest women with the ugliest men, the sermon is always some shit about wives being slaves (but not like bad slavery, mutual slavery except the husband is a benevolent master which makes it okay) and making babies for their husband, the music is always lame, the mc is always weird and obnoxious, and older women keep fucking asking me when it's gonna be my turn and never take no for an answer.

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[irrelevaantidiot]

This is the first time I've actually wanted someone. My last two relationships just kind of felt.. I dunno. They just kind of happened with no prior feelings. No wonder those felt so wrong. Now I actually have feelings and for someone who's way out of my.. clique?? Very different people. I hate it. This hurts so fucking much man.

[bluestjayy]

.

[littlest-bugz]

Man, socializing today has been so fucking hard. My communication skills went out of the window with everyone I talk to, I feel like a puppy with it's tail tucked.

[rainbowangel110]

Guys how do I help a friend who's not doing too mentally well ATM when I literally have no clue on their situation and my only go to response is a stupid "Do you need a hug?" or something like that.