#its 1am and i am tired
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#There are days when I tell myself I am tired of being sad#like that will make it stop#it never does#like today#i did all the things i am supposed to do#i took a walk outside#i made a healthy lunch#i showered and washed my hair after days of grief and depression building on my skin#i drank water and had some fruit#i even wrote#and none of it stopped the sadness#i am once again unable to sleep#because i am *too sad*#too guilty#too something unidentifiable#i feel unwanted and annoying amd a burden and forgotten and#god so many things#amd the worst part is that logically i know none of these things are actually true#logically i know i have a place with my friends and loved ones#and in the fandom communities i call home#but logic isnt enough and the sadness wins#sigh#its 1am and i am tired#sorry for anyone who follows me for fun stuff and is continually assaulted with my late night oversharing lol#i give you squeezes and apologies#gin speaks
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Receipts
A Riso Tomgreg Succession Fanzine
Text transcript under the cut, but image descriptions available in ALT
Page 1: Manilla envelope titled receipts
page 2: ‘would you kiss me?’
Page 3: ‘if i asked you to?’ ‘if i told you to?’
page 4: ‘ill look after you’ (greg: are you trying to seduce me tom?’) ‘I’m serious i will’ ‘what do you know of nero and sporus?’
page 5: ‘nero pushed his wife down the stairs’ ‘then he had sporus castrated and married him instead.’ ‘i would castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat.’
page 6: Greg: is it real?
Page 7: ‘what do you say, sporus?’
#Tomgreg#succession#Tom wamsgans#greg hirsch#This is the digital mock up of the riso colours!! I'll post a scan of the riso print outs once i have them!#this was for a uni project so i dont have much control over when these get printed#I WILL BE SELLING THESE AT SOME POINT!!#piierrote draws#im so sorry if theres mistakes in the ID and transcript its 1am and i am Very Tired
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Zim doesn't mind human traditions if it involves sweets
ALSOOO this is an old doodle but here's them both in my actual art style because I think I finally got DIBS STUPID HAIR correctly. Idk why it was so hard to do for me
So uea,,, I think they're pretty cute I just have to draw them in my style more so I can get used to it
#IM SO TIRED ITS LIKE 1AM#i dunno why im so tired i was up until 5am yesterday and the day before#anyways THEY ARE MARRIED GUYS!!!!! i also changed how i drew dib because i didnt really like how i drew him before#he looks a little weird here but trust... i can draw dib properly in my art style i promise I PROMISE WHY ARE YOU WALKING AWAY#im so tired my vision is getting blurry help am i dying#haha anyways!#maybe expect more art of them in my regular art style... perhaps#art#my art#invader zim#nickelodeon#zim iz#dib membrane#zadr#zim and dib romance
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the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something
#WHAT AM I DOING!!!!#i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch#too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun#no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point#trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this#WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!!#there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time#my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me#my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job#i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time#i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again#and WHAT DO I WANT!#THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!#I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!#anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed#delete later#i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious)#versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected)#i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want#ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you#i miss that i want that back#whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go
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that latest chapter was heavy, so have some cuddle puddle with (l-r) Max, Gregory, Danny and Vanessa. :> Let the kids rest !
(charlie says, like she's not the writer that caused this whole fiasco)
((Knight Guard Au))
#kga#knight guard au#gregory is curled up under mikes jacket bc hes a dad now#might tag more later i am very tired and its 1am here WHOOPS#also might not tag more since like 2 of these guys are just ocs for the kga story
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hey don’t cry, pixlriffs, ok? :)
#pixlriffs#empires smp#empiressmp#esmpwofau#myart#ignore the background its like 1am and i am tired#his ass is NOT passing as a sandwing !!!
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oooh I want to bake brownies and cookies
#While we're on tge topic#Why did I fall asleep at 9pm (good. Proud of myself) but wake up at 1am (not good) and why am I still awake now at 4 (even worse)#And why why is someone in my neighbourhood yelling#and why are cars honking#That started at like 2? Idk I'm not sure but like around tgat time#I really hope my neighbours aren't fighting or whatever#I'm guessing that someone is playing a video game because even though it sounds angry its only once in a while idk#Good talk👍#Also I'm not sure why I think that baking and sleeping is tye same/a similar topic. I am tired.
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#just so yall know i come up with these ideas on the spot#except the autistic dirk one because i will always include that in every poll#also please ignore these insane titles its 1am and im tired#sorry not sorry#but i am sorry#dghda#poll
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did i ever post these two here. i dont think i did. i like them a lot.
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gimmie that cant sleep love
day 1 of wolgraha week!!! first kiss c:
#pixel art#ffxiv#pixel animation#pixel#pixel artist#anime#animation#ff14#ffxiv art#wolgraha#wolgrahaweek#wolgrahaweek2023#EHEHEHE#THEYRE SO CUTE#I WANNA PERISH BC THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY#its also 1am and i am so tired but glad i finished on time!!!#mwahahaha
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[ Nikke spoilers for mid September 2024 update mini story / my comments on it. ]
Closeted trans dudes dressing up at the family function like:
It's such a familiar scene, for family to see you dressing up out of obligation and then being like, 'Oh, NOW you're so beautiful, you should do this more often.' And internally, your body is screaming that it feels so wrong, why did you perform your perceived gender for this event! Or like, for me personally too, the whole missing the vibe of the event and dressing up way more than anyone else, and then feeling so out of place. I've joked before about Red Hood having older brother vibes, maybe she has trans vibes for me too now, lol.
Also, strange that Liliweiss is saying 'for the future' to Red Hood. Who, y'know, is basically terminally ill (corrupted). Red Hood doesn't 'have' a future, she just has the present and past. At this point in this mini-story thing (I'm assuming it takes place around the time of the Red Ash event), is Liliweiss aware of the plans to integrate Red Hood into Rapi, and therefore 'have' a future? Or am I just reading into this way too much? Lol. Just sounded like a really weird and inconsiderate thing to say to her.
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That aside, why the fuck did y'all vote the dress over the other two Red Hood skins?! I'm so disappointed, the other two were way cooler and not out of character:
((I mean, I guess it's technically in-character since it's canon now, and has to do with 'old music' but c'mon, man...))
Image description below cut:
First image: Red Hood from Nikke: Goddess of Victory is in a strappy and revealing dress. It's the same colour as her hair. She's embarrassed and standing next to a gramophone, while holding a champagne glass. She is also wearing fingerless half-palm leather gloves. Text: Red Hood: Oh jeez, I can't do this! I just can't!
Next two images: Text: Dialogue:
Commander: You did well in that outfit.
Red Hood: Anything was better than staying at that party, even fighting raptures. I've never been so glad to have a bunch of them show up.
Rapunzel: Your dress is all dirty, though. And the hem is all torn...
Red Hood: Who cares? It's not like I'm going to be wearing this ever again.
Liliweiss: Why not? I thought you'd be keeping it for the future.
Red Hood: No thanks. Not a chance.
Snow White: That's too bad. At least I finally got to see you all dressed up. Can I at least take a picture for posterity?
Red Hood: Absolutely not. I don't want to leave any evidence of this humiliating sight.
Last three images are the Red Hood skins/appearances that we voted on. First image is the feminine dress with the gramophone mentioned before, which won the poll. Second image is Red Hood on a motorcycle with a leather jacket, crop top, mini shorts, and thigh highs. Third image is Red Hood standing next to a wolf, and she is wearing form-fitted high-rise pants, a strappy harness bra-top and collar, and a cropped blazer.
#we couldve had a better mini story than performative femininity#nikke#red hood#red hood nikke#goddess of victory: nikke#nikke goddess of victory#nikke spoilers#CoriPlaysNikke#Cori Plays Nikke#idr which tag i use lol#Cori.exe#Post.exe#Image.exe#long post#i cant remember if i voted bike or wolf lol the vote i cast was on june 27 and its currently sept 21 so it was a while ago...#...and the link i RTed doesn't tell me which one i voted (usually i try to put a screenshot as a reply but i must have forgotten)#i DEFINITELY did not vote the out of character strappy dress lmao wtf#tbh im keeping her default skin on but its nice they gave us a mini story for it at all#also lmao @ rapunzel looking for the commanders mags. neon already found em (neons personal story) and theyre gay mags (bless)#i mean unless im misremembering that im super tired rn and ive been typing this post for a while and have more to say on another post#other post TBA im too tired to make that one rn. actually i have a lot of nikke things i want to post but i keep forgetting lol#just expect more i have a lot i wanna commentate on but its 1am and i still gotta shower tonight#lol lemme stop nitpicking this post#but yeah the story was like. oh man. ive done that before. countless times. it sucks. i got hella secondhand embarrassment...#...bc ive been there before. in feminine clothes and shit. and ppl suddenly like u a lot more...#...and its like. guys. this is basically a costume. its not who i am. no im not gonna wear a fucking dress all the time.#and it sucks bc it aint safe to come out to justify why you dont wanna look like that all the time. (not that ppl should Have to justify it)#let ppl wear stuff thats ooc and treat it normally dont hound them about it like this bc then it becomes a nightmare
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LILY JAMES — Met Gala 2023
#lily james#actors#loml#ljamesedit#met gala 2023#usermandie#userquel#userfrancesca#edited by me#mine#if the edits bad its 1am and i am tired
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did he run down the fucking kitchen bleeding?? why is there blood everywhere !!!!
#maggot musings#there's more!! i am not done cleaning !!#i ran out of kitchen roll (we were running low already) so#now im using toilet paper and tissues#i just know I've missed a lot of it even though I'm not done yet#i have to wash up after this too and its like#1am#I'm so tired but there's blood in the cat bowls like it needs doing#dear god pls i just want to rest
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Non-Zero Possibility
Music and lyrics by At The Drive-In, art by me
I just. Love taking their songs literally and turning that into kiiinda messed up art.
This took me two obsession-fuelled days and a lot of effort to make, so if you like please also reblog to actually, like, share it. Criticism of any kind is welcome (if you're polite abt it)! I'm not that experienced with videos yet :)
#it is 1am and i spent the last 5+ hours literally just doing this and nothing else#pure focus#what an experience. i didnt even notice how damn tired i am#dw im sleeping now lol#at the drive in#relationship of command#non-zero possibility#music video#lyric video#my art#digital art#tw gore#tw body horror#gore#blood#tw cannibalism#? possibly? kinda?#tw child death#its just. implied. but just in case#if i forgot anything let me know! those lyrics are dark and my mental breakdown art whumpee is darker#some of this sure is fucked up#tw death#tw corpse#kinda??#most of it is just sort of implied but better safe than sorry
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Kanata would just offer Kaoru a place to close his eyes and said he would protect him from the bad dreams, “if that is what you ‘wish’.”
That’s how Kaoru slept the last month of the summer: long naps on the beach with Kanata stroking his hair and calling him a good boy. It was a strange habit that he had, but Kaoru didn’t mind.
It reminded him of his mother, and that was all he needed to relax to the touch.
He never had a nightmare while sleeping on the beach.
#sorry for kaokana posting at 1am but im emotional over them#also sorry if this sounds weird i added it to my wip literally like 20 minutes ago i am TIRED#but they are getting me through it. bless#shay speaks#shay writes#enstars#ensemble stars#kaoru hakaze#kanata shinkai#kaokana#4.8k words and counting#fully expecting this one to hit 10k before its done but i must. post about it#or i will burst at the seams
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ugh ive reached the point in packing that is so stressful and horrible and impossible oh my god why
#the bin#how am i supposed to know what to put in the bring boxes if i dont even know how kuch stuff i can bring??#hhhh. she didnt even give me any update today#im hoping to get most of the rest of the apartment packed tonight but its already 1am so. idk. but my room is almost done#i have no clue whats even happening. hhh. whatever. at least ive dealt with most of my stuff. still gotta consolidate all my art as much as#possible. im hoping even if i have to fky i can bring it all with me. i did find out apparently my family alreday has a scanner so i can#scan all my art very soon. thats nice. now i wont have to buy one!#hhh. im so tired. bleh
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